The Weekly + Thursday, October 23, 2014 33333

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The Weekly + Thursday, October 23, 2014
We are an Open and Affirming & Just Peace congregation welcoming
all of God’s children into our community of faith.
Cresskill Congregational Church, UCC
85 Union Avenue
Cresskill, NJ 07626
201.568.0608
bo@cresskillucc.org
www.cresskillucc.org
www.facebook.com/cresskillucc
Dear Members and Friends —
I am continuing our sermon series on Aha:
Awakening, Honesty, Action. This coming Sunday, I will
be preaching on the benefits of brutal honesty and how it
will determine whether our aha-moments can successfully
change us or not.
I had a moment of brutal honesty this week when my
cardiologist said rather plainly that I needed to lose weight.
I knew I was overweight. It was a moment of clarity. He
recommeded a particular diet (South Beach) and wants to
see me in a month to see how I am progressing. He also increased my medicine. In a
very real way, he was brutally honest with me. He wasn’t mean about it—just very matter
of fact.
So I went home, grabbed an old tattered copy of the diet he recommended (I’ve
actually tried it before) and began reading up on it. A part of me remembered how tough
it was getting started on it. I really hate cooking for myself—I love ready made foods.
This will take some will power—since I know how tough it’ll be. I am sure I can do it. I
just have to set my mind to doing it.
What happened to me through my doctor isn’t at all like the Prodigal Son
discovered his aha-moment. In his story, he comes to a realization on his own. Usually
when that happens, it’s a powerful motivation to change. What happened to me was that
my doctor had an aha-moment about me. This is a different movitation and it doesn’t
feel as inspiring had I come to the realization myself. Still, the song is familiar. Many of
you who know me know that I have struggled with my weight for years (and in truth, for
decades).
How is it that you are motivated to change? Is it because someone threatens you
or when you realize what you need to do? Can someone else nag you until you decide to
change? Or, are you hard-headed? I have a tough time changing—this will be a tough
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and hard experience. I am confident that I can make a dent—but honestly, I need to do
more than that.
This coming Sunday, I will be preaching about the power of brutal honesty and
how any effective change, from an aha-moment, needs it in order to be successful. We’ll
look at Scripture and consider our own ways of succeeding, when at other times, we’ve
failed. This will be a good lesson for us. I hope you can attend.
This is our last Sunday of Daylight Savings Time. I’ve also heard that next week
is supposed to be extraordinary. Let’s make sure we get outside, enjoy the weather, and
soak up the sun. With fall here and winter peaking around the corner, we’ll miss these
days soon enough.
See you on Sunday,
Yours in Christ,
the Rev. Dr. David C. Bocock, Pastor
Community News + Events
If you would like to receive our free weekly eNewsletter called The Weekly, please send
an email to our Pastor, David Bocock at: bo@cresskillucc.org and we'll sign you up. We
promise not to clutter your inbox with emails.
The church office hours are Monday through Thursday, 10:00 AM - 5:00 PM. If you
would like to speak with the pastor at a different time, he is available by appointment.
Facebook Church is an online faith study and liturgy. Every Wednesday by 12:00 Noon,
a new liturgy is uploaded for your faith journey. It is a time of spiritual refreshment.
You are encouraged to participate at your leisure.
Help us provide a quiet time in the sanctuary before worship. At around 9:45 AM, we
invite everyone to enjoy a few minutes of mediation and prayer in the sanctuary. If you
would like to fellowship, talk, and be celebratory, we invite you to enjoy some coffee in
the parlor and get acquainted with your friends there. Thanks!
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Mark your calendars for the NJ Association’s Fall Gathering on Saturday, November 1
from 8:30 AM - 1:00 PM. We'll be meeting at the Old First Church in Middletown, NJ.
This is not a formal meeting but rather a special spiritual experience. We will be learning
about the gentle art of forgiveness from a troupe of nuns out of Philadelphia. Lunch will
be served. If you are interested in attending, please contact the church office.
Beginning in November, we will be starting
a new Bible study on the book of
Revelation. If you've ever had any questions
or curiosities about the book, you are invited
to join us at 7:30 PM at the River Edge
Diner, River Edge, NJ. All you need to do is
bring your favorite Bible.
Help us Pack the Pew on November 2! Invite your friends to visit our Sunday worship.
The person who invites the most guests will receive a prize.
You and our community are invited to join us on Saturday, November 8 for a vegetarian
potluck dinner, discussion, and screening of the climate change movie, "Chasing Ice."
The documentary tells the story, in time-lapse photography, of the tremendous changes
occurring in the Arctic ice fields due to climate warming. To RSVP, please contact
Kathy Lindner by calling (201) 928-1787 or email her at kathylindner123@yahoo.com.
Our Small Groups have begun to meet. Join one today! Their schedules are:
Women’s Group: Sundays at 2:30 PM at the church
Men’s Group: Alternate Saturday mornings at 9:00 AM at the church
Bible Study: Wednesdays, 7:30 PM at the River Edge Diner
Sophie’s Porch: Thursday Nights, 8:00 PM at Griffin’s Bar and Eatery.
Confirmation for 2014 & 2015 has begun! This year, we are partnering up with the First
Congregational Church of Haworth and Pastors Bo and Pastor Rett Zobriskie along with
Jeanne Martin (a volunteer at Haworth) will be tag-teaming the teaching sessions. We
will take turns meeting at each other's churches. This year we are excited to have four
youngsters from our church participating: Isabella and Katie Schmidt and Isabella and
Mikey Placentia. Haworth will have five kids. Our next meeting is Sunday, October
26 at 1:00 PM and we'll meet at the First Congregational Church, Haworth. Please
keep all the Confirmands in your prayers as they learn about the Christian faith.
If you are interested in promoting your Church event or project to the community
through local newspapers, feel free to contact Carole Lotito, using our new online PR
Request Form. The link is also posted on our website. http://bit.ly/CresskillUCCPR.
Carole will create a flyer (and send you the file), register your event on MyBergen.com
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and NorthJersey.com (and other sites where appropriate), and/or create and distribute a
press release based on your request.
Please continue to submit your internal promotion requests (CUCC website,
newsletter, bulletin, Facebook) to Theresa Muti. More comfortable with a pen and paper?
Hard copies of the PR Request Form are available in the church office. Please complete
and mail to Carole Lotito, 67 Pierce Avenue, Cresskill, NJ, 07626. To speak with Carole
directly, please call (201) 294-7309.
One ministry we provide is to offer you the opportunity to bring one can of food per
person every Sunday to be donated to the Cresskill Food Pantry, which benefits nearly
50 families in our borough of Cresskill who are in need of assistance. You can bring in
your donations to the church during the week or on Sunday. John and Dot Pontician take
the donations to the pantry at the beginning of every week.
THIS COMING SUNDAY
You are invited to join us for worship on October 26, 2014 at 10:00 AM. We'll continue
with our sermon series, "Aha: Awakening. Honesty. Action." Our Scripture lessons are 2
Corinthians 13:5-7 and Luke 15:11-19. The sermon title is, "Brutal Honesty." The lay
leader for the service is Mary Mayer.
COFFEE HOUR
Following our morning service, you are invited to get acquainted and catch up with new
and old friends alike during our Coffee Hour. If you would like to help serve and provide
light refreshments during our time of fellowship, please locate the signup sheet in the
Social Hall.
Joys + Concerns of the Congregation
Starting your day with a prayerful devotion can provide added
spiritual strength for what lies ahead. We recommend
the daily devotions found online at the UCC's Daily devotional
webpage.
Every Sunday morning, we collect prayer requests and lift
them up during the service. We also post those requests here
including their name, for you to pray for them.
If you would like to submit a prayer request now, you may send an email to Pastor Bo at
bo@cresskillucc.org and it will be posted shortly.
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These prayers are posted as of October 19, 2014.
Please pray for:
General prayers of faith and well-being
The family and friends of Billy Brenneiser who passed away
Judy Russell
Margaret Brenneiser
Prayers of joy for Laurie’s test results
Don Crabtree to let go of his fears
Emma's mommy
Emma's baby sister, Layla
Emma's friend Joe
Praise that Kathy's test results came back negative
For peace for the family of Joe Wagner, who passed away
Family and Friends of Nina Benzoni, who passed away
Joel Rosengrantz to find a job and handle stress
Nellie Hutchinson, stress in her life
Bless our country and our leaders.
Eric, whose mother was killed in a boating accident
All who are troubled and need God in their lives
Healing between Cheryl and Susan
Lynn Gotler, Howard's sister, to find an apartment
Robert Smith
Carla, Kathy's daughter, for safety as she works in Africa
Emily, safety in Mongolia, during a teaching job
The Kassing family as they deal with familial mental illness
Kurt Horvat
John Lupardi, for comfort and peace in his life
Robert O'Dell for comfort, healing, and recovery
Julie Schweitzer for healing and God's favor
Ellison for mental health, job opportunities, and happiness
Those who struggle with addictions that they won't give up
Angie Pontician, suffering with depression
Health & Healing
Elena, for relief from head and neck pain
Axa Duran's medical issues
Dana Lyons
Jeremy, who is temporarily blind from an accident
Tatiana Logan, who was badly burned
Gloria Hermo, healing from a herniated disc
Chip Maurer, for healing from an accident
Naomi Deeo, fighting cancer
Mr. Marshall, for his recovery
Gil Panganiban, suffering from Vertigo
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Lucille, having heart surgery
Judy Russell
Linda Spadavecchia, diagnosed with breast cancer
Terrie Clark as she recovers from knee surgery
Christine Elder, a 3-year old battling cancer
John Pontician
Joel Rozenkrantz
Robert Smith
Billy Jean Crabtree's healing
Nellie Hutchinson's health problems
Phil and Donna for good health
Pat O'Brien for health concerns
Devotion + News + Tidbits
UCC Daily Devotion
from http://www.ucc.org/feed-your-spirit/daily-devotional/
What's Your Big Idea?
October 23, 2014
By Lillian Daniel
"I will pour out my Spirit on every kind of people. Your sons will prophesy, also your
daughters." - Joel 2:28
When David Christian was a young professor at Macquarie University in Sydney, he
grew frustrated by the rigid categories and divisions in scholarship. Teaching a class in
Russian history, he wanted to examine his subjects from a number of unconventional
angles.
For example, when he looked at the 19th century, he realized that on average, 40 percent
of Russia's revenues came from vodka sales. In a New York Times article, he explained,
"So what I realized is that if Russians stopped drinking vodka, you can't pay for the army,
and the superpower collapses. Here's a modern government building its power by selling
a mind-altering substance. I was looking at it at the fiscal level, at the treasury level —
but also in the village and also in the tavern." You couldn't look at that from only one
angle. Everything was connected.
Could he apply this "everything-is-connected" idea to an even larger scale? This
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prompted him to ask himself, "Could I teach a course not of Russia but of humanity?"
That question drove him back in time to the Big Bang and a wildly popular "History of
Everything" course that debuted in 1989. His lectures then spread through the Internet to
a broad audience of learners.
One avid, long-distance student was Bill Gates, who watched the lectures from his
treadmill. Gates was so inspired that they are now using the Big History Project with high
school students.
Don't be afraid to think big. You never know who will be affected by your big idea.
Prayer
Expand my dreams and ideas, God, and let the limits of my small thinking fall away.
Amen.
About the Author
Lillian Daniel, author of When "Spiritual But Not Religious" is Not Enough, has a chapter
in the new anthology, What My Mother Gave Me: Thirty-one Women on the Gifts That
Mattered Most. Follow her on twitter @lillianfdaniel.
Commentary: Race Matters: The U.S. Narrative Continues
Written by the Rev. Bentley de Bardelaben
October 23, 2014
More than two months have passed since the shooting of unarmed teen
Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo., and no indictment has been issued
against Officer Darren Wilson despite recent testimony before a grand
jury. During this period there has been elevated talk of U.S. race
matters populating all media platforms.
For some, the volatile subject of race/racism has become nothing more
than white noise to be ignored. For others, it may finally be the
opening needed to achieve a deeper understanding of the sociological, economical
pathology which underlie the issue. While for many there is a palpable sense of déjà vu it just feels like another day in North America where the media exploits a hot button
issue, peddling fear to sell papers, catch eyeballs, and/or improve ratings. Regardless of
where one falls it is abundantly clear that a healthy discussion on race matters is much
needed. But who can lead this national conversation? How can we begin?
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Recently PBS' Point of View (POV) series televised a provocative series titled, "The
Whiteness Project: Inside the White Caucasian Box." It offers rare, bold, brave, and
insightful perspectives. According to their website, "The Whiteness Project is a
multiplatform investigation into how Americans who identify as "white" experience their
ethnicity." While my experiences,
teachings, and cultural lenses are radically different to those persons featured, this
program is worthy of viewing by all.
In one of many snippets shown, a male doctor discusses his views. He asserts that "color
means absolutely nothing" to him, all people are "human beings", and "discrimination is
nonsense because we are all equal." In a word, he declares himself to be "colorblind."
Each segment ends with a statistic. The one following the aforementioned doctor's POV
reads, "73% of Whites believe Blacks should receive 'no special favors' to overcome
inequality."
In another segment, a woman who labels herself as "friendly" discusses "black men in
general". She shares that we are "very beautiful people." However, it is clear her
experiences have trained her to fear African American men. She further states that her
"smile is not an invitation to follow [her] home." The stat following her piece declares,
"More that 40% of White Americans say 'many' or 'almost all' Black men are violent."
There are several vignettes shared and each provides a hearty starting point for a
conversation on race. The takeaways range from "I have never come across anything that
made me aware of my race" to "I don't get the 'white person' treatment" to "because
slavery happened, does that mean we owe black people something?" This documentary
clearly underscores the reality that people of color and whites view the world through
vastly different lenses.
The United Church of Christ developed a "Sacred Conversation on Race" tool kit to help
further the dialogue in our congregations. While the first step is often the hardest, the
learnings gleaned could greatly advance the debate (and perhaps even our society). At
least, that is my hope. For additional information visit: ucc.org/sacred-conversation/ and
whitenessproject.org/checkbox.
The Rev. Bentley de Bardelaben is Executive for Administration and Communications of
the UCC's Justice and Witness Ministries.
WCRC secretary Chris Ferguson grateful for UCC witness
Written by Anthony Moujaes
October 22, 2014
Chris Ferguson made it a point to stop at the national offices of the United Church of
Christ this week. Ferguson, the newly-elected general secretary of the World Council of
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Reformed Churches, wanted to extend his gratitude and support for the church’s bold,
public voice—particularly for racial justice and inclusion.
"The U.S. churches are a key for us, and the UCC plays a key role in leading the
understanding between faith and justice, and how that ties into its ministries," Ferguson
said. "We want to learn from the U.S. churches, and we want to let them know we value
and appreciate their leadership in our family."
Ferguson and the Rev. Karen Georgia A. Thompson, the UCC’s ecumenical officer,
believe that working with ecumenical organizations can be mutually beneficial.
Thompson arranged for Ferguson to meet with UCC national leaders and staff during his
visit to Cleveland, helping familiarize him with the work of the church and to see how the
UCC and the WCRC can collaborate in the future.
"It was a way to get people to learn about the work of the WCRC, and for him to learn
about the UCC in his new role," Thompson said. "The WCRC has historically been
interested in justice issues."
"When the denomination takes a stand and does its ministry, we want them to know the
WCRC family is with you," Ferguson said.
"I think his visit was very well received by the staff and elected officers," Thompson
said. "I think there was a good exchange of information and ideas, and points to places
for future engagement between the WCRC and United Church of Christ."
The World Communion of Reformed Churches, the largest association of Reformed
churches in the world, has more than 230 member churches in 109 countries. With a
combined 80 million members, the WCRC is the third largest Christian communion in
the world behind the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Churches.
"The defining identity, our banner, is a call to communion and a commitment to justice,"
Ferguson said. "By strengthening each other through our justice work, we can make a
better contribution to the ecumenical movement and make a better impact in the world."
It’s been a busy month since Ferguson took office in September as the new general
secretary. He has upcoming trips to visit the national offices of three other denominations
(Presbyterian Church USA, Reformed Church in America and Evangelical Lutheran
Church in America), as well as overseas trips to Egypt and Cairo.
"The work of the Communion happens around the world," Ferguson said, "as we make
connections between our churches."
One example of connecting churches Ferguson alluded to was an upcoming witness in
2015 that focused on human trafficking. "We can learn from the UCC’s work on that,
given its strong stances on human rights and immigration in this country," he said.
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Ferguson is from the United Church of Canada, which is working with the UCC on a
communion agreement to be voted on by General Synod in 2015. Ferguson is a fan of
that growing partnership.
"I’m excited to see it happen," he said. "It strengthens that justice with an ecumenical
vision as we make stronger contributions together."
You Teach Others How to Treat You
You can't control how others treat you, but you can control how you respond.
By Debra K Fileta
October 22, 2014
Debra K. Fileta is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in Relationship and
Marital issues. She is the author of the new book True Love Dates (Zondervan, 2013).
Visit www.truelovedates.com and follow her on Twitter to get your dating questions
answered and to learn more!
She walked into my office looking a little nervous. This was her first counseling
appointment, and I could tell she didn’t quite know what to expect.
“Should I lie down on the couch?” she said, with a nervous laugh.
I could tell she was only sort of joking.
“Well, you can,” I said. “It is pretty comfy. But most people just sit.”
She sat down in front of me, and began sharing her story. Life had not been easy for her
by any stretch of the imagination. And through the challenges of her adult life, she had
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come into contact with some really cruel people. “People have just been so mean to me. I
feel like I’ve been bullied my whole life.”
The truth of the matter is that her feelings were true. She felt bullied. She felt attacked.
She felt like she had no control in the world around her. No one could tell her those
feelings didn’t exist.
But as a counselor, my job isn’t merely to listen to feelings—it’s also to challenge
behaviors. Through the course of therapy, I was able to explain to her that no matter who
you are or what kind of people you are surrounded by, you teach people how they can
and can’t treat you.
That phrase has ruffled some feathers in my counseling practice, and throughout my life
in general. It’s a phrase that’s hard to hear—because it puts the responsibility back on us.
I meet so many people who cling to what I call the “victim mentality,” believing they
have very little control in their lives. They feel controlled by the world around them, like
little pieces on the board game of life, being moved around without their permission.
And the thing is, maybe that was once the case. Maybe there was a time in their
childhood when they had little control, when life was unfair, when people were cruel and
unloving. Maybe there was darkness and fear; confusion and pain; abandonment and
insecurities. Sometimes, life is hard. And sometimes, we are the victim.
But hear me on this: being a victim once, twice, or more doesn’t mean we’re victims for
life.
There comes a pivotal time in our adult life that we have to say no to the lie that we are a
victim. You see, we are in our most vulnerable place when we feel like we have no
control, because that is when we allow ourselves to be controlled. When we surrender to
the actions, decisions, and behaviors of others—we let them take the reins of our lives
and lead us wherever they please.
Being healthy individuals means that we realize that we have some (although not total)
God-given ability to control our lives, our decisions and even our relationships. We can’t
control the behaviors of others, but we can always control how we respond to those
behaviors, how we interpret those behaviors, and how we allow those behaviors to impact
(or not impact) our lives.
We teach people how they can and can’t treat us based on what we allow them to
do. Your actions and beliefs about yourself speak so much to the world around you about
how they can or cannot treat you. What you will and won’t allow.
You have the ability to walk away when someone is speaking to you cruelly.
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You have the choice to reject the lies that are spoken about you and to see them for what
they really are.
You have the power to recognize unhealthy patterns of behavior in a relationship and
distance yourself from those people.
You have the freedom to say no to doing something that is not in your best interest.
You have the wisdom to define yourself by who God has made you to be not by the
things people say, think, or believe about you.
You owe it to yourself to respect and take care yourself as much as God loves you. You
are called to love yourself in order to be freed to truly love the people around you.
Teaching people how to treat you begins with what you believe about yourself. You can
teach yourself to believe good things, because of a God who believes good things about
you. Because of a God who saw that you were worth everything. Because of a God who
gave His very life just so that you could live, and breathe and move.
So live, breathe, and move in a way that shows people that you are His beloved, and for
that, you are worth being treated well.
Teach people how they can and can’t treat you. And teach them well.