CHATTER CHOW 3-5-15 - THE CHATTER CHOWCHILLA

THURSDAY, MARCH 5, 2015
CHOWCHILLA ROTARY CRAB FEED
SATURDAY, MARCH 7, Eastman Hall,
Chowchilla Fairgrounds. Dinner includes
FRESH CRAB, pasta, salad and bread. Enjoy dinner a dessert auction, 50/50 Raffle,
Gun Safe Raffle, too! No Host bar 6pm—
Dinner 7pmTickets $50. Tickets available
at: Chowchilla Auto Body665-2924;
Farnesi's Steakhouse Matt (559)2231302; Memories For Sale, George (559)
871-1366.
DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME
begins this Sunday, March 8!
Set clocks ahead 1 hour!
SURVIVORS LUNCHEON, Sat. March 7,
11AM-2PM, Faith Hall, 717 Robertson
Blvd. Complimentary Luncheon by Relay
for Life of Chowchilla. RSVP Chere Willet:
(209)261-0683 or willetc@chowhigh.com
58th Annual
CHOWCHILLA WESTERN STAMPEDE
MARCH 13—15, 2015
www.chowchillafair.org
Historic Cattle Drive down Robertson Blvd
10AM—Friday, March 13
On Facebook: Chowchilla Western Stampede
QUOTE FOR THE WEEK
Breakups hurt, but losing someone
who doesn’t respect and appreciate
you is actually a gain, not a loss.
Chowchilla Police Report for 2/22/15 thru 2/28/15 is on
our website: www.thechatterchowchilla.com
Two boys were walking home from
Sunday school after hearing a
strong preaching on the devil. One
said to the other, 'What do you think
about all this Satan stuff?' The other
boy replied, 'Well, you know how
Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'
BOOK SALE
EVERY WEDNESDAY
& SATURDAY!
Fill a plastic grocery bag for $1
Chowchilla Library
300 Kings Avenue
Proceeds to Chowchilla Library
An elderly woman died last month.
Having never married, she requested no male Pallbearers.
In her
handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she wrote, 'They
wouldn't take me out while I was
alive, I don't want them to take me
out when I'm dead.'
CHOWCHILLA FAIR
HORSE SHOW
SATURDAY, MARCH 28
Chowchilla Fairgrounds.
Entry Deadline Fri, March 13
www.chowchillafair.org
FMAS RABIES
CLINIC, Saturday, March 14,
at the Chowchilla Police Department, 122 Trinity. 9AM-10AM For Seniors or persons with disabilities. 10AMNoon For General Public. Dogs: Distemper/parvo $12; Rabies $6; Worming $5. Cats: FVRCD, rabies & worming for cats also. ALL CATS MUST BE IN
CARRIERS! FREE spay/neuter certificates available during this clinic! For
info, call 665-8600. Dog licenses expire 12/31 each year. (Proof of current
rabies vaccination required) License fee
$9. (Senior Discount $4.50) for all altered dogs. License fee $18 (Senior
Discount $9.) for all Unaltered dogs.
$20 late fee after April 1.
A police recruit was asked during
the exam, 'What would you do if
you had to arrest your own mother?' He answered, 'Call for backup.'
My young grandson called the other
day to wish me Happy Birthday. He
asked me how old I was, and I told
him, "80". My grandson was quiet
for a moment, and then he asked,
"Did you start at 1?”
FREE TAX HELP FOR SENIORS!
AARP offers FREE tax help to low- and
moderate-income tax payers, especially
those 60 and older. An AARP Foundation
Tax Aide will be at the Chowchilla Library, 300 Kings Avenue on Monday,
March 23. Call (559)673-4115 for an
appointment, or visit the website at
www.aarp.org/taxaide for information
on what documents to bring to the appointment.
In my life, I’ve lived, I’ve loved,
I’ve lost, Lived hurt, I’ve missed,
I’ve trusted, I’ve made mistakes,
but most of all, I’ve Learned.
Soft hearted people are not foolsthey know what people did to them,
but-they forgive again and again
because they have beautiful hearts.
A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to
purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.
He is shown several possibilities that
range from $250 to $500 in price -- the
more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item,
pays the $500, and takes it home. He
presents it to his wife and asks her to go
upstairs, put it on, and model it for
him. Upstairs the wife thinks, 'I have an
idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be
nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the
modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and
keep the $500 refund for myself.' She
appears naked on the balcony and strikes
a pose.
The husband says, 'Good
Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at
least iron it!'
Funeral on Thursday
2pm.Closed coffin.
Believe it or not, Panama Canal is
not the only water line connecting
the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.
There is a creek that divides the
continental United States and connects the Atlantic and Pacific
Oceans! It’s in Wyoming—deep in
the Teton Wilderness Area of the
Bridger-Teton National Forest—in
which a creek splits in two. Commonly called “Parting of the Waters”, the site of Two Ocean Pass on
the Great Divide actually divides
North America in two parts by a single water line that—no matter how
hard you try not to—you will have
to cross to go from North to South
and vice versa. To the East, the
creek flows "3,488 miles to the Atlantic Ocean via Atlantic Creek and
the Yellowstone, Missouri and Mississippi Rivers."
To the West, it
flows "1,353 miles to the Pacific
Ocean via Pacific Creek and the
Snake and Columbia Rivers. Don’t
believe us? Just Google: Parting of
the Waters!
CONGRATULATIONS to our band students & director! They were chosen to
march in the Disneyland Parade on
March 28!!!
After putting her grandchildren to
bed, a grandmother changed into
old slacks and a droopy blouse and
proceeded to wash her hair. As she
heard the children getting more and
more rambunctious, her patience
grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel
around her head and stormed into
their room, putting them back to
bed with stern warnings. As she left
the room, she heard the three-yearold say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"
My Grandparents are funny. When
they bend over, you hear gas leaks
and they blame their dog.
Chowchilla Redskin Marching Band
& Colorguard’s Annual
ALL – YOU-CAN-EAT
SPAGHETTI DINNER
FUNDRAISER,
Saturday, March 14,
4PM-7PM, Little Theatre,
Chowchilla Fairgrounds.
Tickets $8. Dine in OR Take- out. Raffle tickets for $2 each for chance to win
a Disneyland Family 4-Pack (One Day
park hopper) BAND WILL BE PERFORMING. Info: Cindy VanHoff
cvh725@gmail.com
MEET THE AUTHORS
BOOK SIGNING
"DOUBLE TAKE" BY
THE CARR TWINS
TUESDAY, MARCH 10
4PM-6PM
CHOWCHILLA LIBRARY
300 Kings Avenue
Vi Parsons and Violet Moore reminisce about their childhood, growing
up in Chowchilla during the Happy
Days era. Join them as they present
DOUBLE TAKE, a collection of short
stories from a shared birth to a
shared wedding gown.
www.carrtwins.com
info@carrtwins.com
I didn't know if my granddaughter had
learned her colors yet, so I decided to
test her. I would point out something
and ask what color it was. She would
tell me and was always correct. It was
fun for me, so I continued. At last, she
headed for the door, saying,
"Grandma, I think you should try to
figure out some of these colors yourself!"
RELAY FOR LIFE “
SURVIVORS
LUNCHEON”,
Saturday, March 7,
from 11AM-2PM, Faith Hall, 717 Robertson Blvd. Complimentary Luncheon by
Relay for Life of Chowchilla. Please RSVP
Chere Willet: (209)261-0683 or email
willetc@chowhigh.com
The CHATTER is printed every Thursday,
courtesy of Central California Public Service
Broadcasters and our advertisers. Office:
46174 Skyline Ridge Road, Coarsegold, CA
93614 (559)683-8309
E-mail: chowchillachatter@gmail.com
TO POST EVENTS: (559)683-8309
chowchillachatter@gmail.com
FRIDAY, MARCH 6: CITY OFFICES CLOSED.
Advertise in
theCHATTER!
Call:
(559)683-8309
(559)760-8267
SATURDAY, MARCH 7: CHOWCHILLA LITTLE LEAGUE OPENING DAY,
R.C.Wisener Park.
SURVIVORS LUNCHEON, 11AM-2PM, Faith Hall, 717 Robertson
Blvd. Complimentary Luncheon by Relay for Life of Chowchilla.
RSVP Chere Willet: (209)261-0683 or willetc@chowhigh.com
CHOWCHILLA ROTARY CRAB FEED, 6PM, Eastman Hall,
Chowchilla Fairgrounds.
SUNDAY, MARCH 8: DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME BEGINS. AHEAD 1 hour!
ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT PANCAKE BREAKFAST W/SAUSAGE OR BISCUITS & GRAVY, 7AM-11AM, Masonic Hall, 224 Ventura. Includes juice or coffee. $5 per person. Combo Pancakes & Biscuits
& Gravy $8 per person. $20 per family maximum. Tickets at
door. sponsored by American Legion. Info: John Kirwin (732)221
-4611.
TUESDAY, MARCH 10: CITY COUNCIL MEETING, 7PM, Civic Center.
THURSDAY, MARCH 12: CHOWCHILLA WESTERN STAMPEDE ROYALTY
CONTEST, Chowchilla Fairgrounds.
FRIDAY, MARCH 13: WESTERN STAMPEDE CATTLE DRIVE, 10AM, caCle
drive down Robertson Blvd.
ENTRY DEADLINE FOR CHOWCHILLA FAIR HORSE SHOW on Saturday, March 28,Chowchilla Fairgrounds.
www.chowchillafair.org
WESTERN STAMPEDE ROPING EVENTS, Chowchilla Fairgrounds.
SAT, MARCH 14: WESTERN STAMPEDE, 8AM, Chowchilla Fairgrounds.
CHOWCHILLA GIRLS SOFTBALL OPENING DAY, Edward Ray Park.
FMAS RABIES CLINIC, Chowchilla Police Department, 122 Trinity.
CCWA CRAB FEED, 6PM, Chowchilla Fairgrounds.
Chowchilla Redskin Band & Colorguards’ ALL–YOU-CAN-EAT
SPAGHETTI DINNER FUNDRAISER, 4PM-7PM, LiCle Theatre,
Chowchilla Fairgrounds. Tickets $8. Dine In - Take-out
SUNDAY, MARCH 15: WESTERN STAMPEDE, 8AM, Chowchilla Fairgrounds.