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TEMPorary Object
A look at the turgid life of
Take a look inside: Vor-
Office Wasters
temp-work
eophelia
The great energy leak
welcome to the first issue of geeek magazine. based
in manchester. this issue we explore the state of indie
music, the terrorist obsession, the drug-like features of
War÷Terror = Peace?!
Meditation: The New Drug
art
+words
a guide to all things www. manchester poetry and art
The Fem+menist Pages
meditation, the woeful existence of a temp worker, a
look inside the strange sub-culture known as voreaphelia,
office energy wasters... plus our regular features including cobweb: a guide to all things www, the fem+menist
Gi ve
it Back...
Frustrations of an indie
rock fan
pages, lots of underground art, poetry and short stories.
if your interested in contributing articles/art/poetry/reviews /other then get in touch... send us a myspace mes-
contributors
charlotte holroyd, adam carless, noel heath, jessica hill,
neil deurden, paul neads, laurie lipton, seán dagan wood,
harriet godden, ben thompson, matthew bate, chloe poems,
elizabeth young, emmie étie
The Green Pound
sage on www.myspace.com/geeekmagazine. you’ll also
be able to get regular issue updates if you add us as your
friend.
Cl ick he re to tu
rn th e page
3
geeek
3
3
a snippet of stuff from the www...
click on this
Cl ick he re to vis
it
www.pixelgirlpresents.com
A site dedicated to independent art
and jewellery making. Download
fantastic desktops for your computer for
band spotlight
A quick fire list of some manchester based bands we’re enjoying on
my space...
Cl ick he re to vis
it
free and explore some great computer-aided
www.myspace.com/geekgirltunes
art. With every thing from quirky accessories
GeEkgiRL supported The Gossip on Sunday
such as sushi inspired bracelets and oreo
26th August, at main stage Manchester
necklaces to brooding grunge- esque
Pride and sound like “...Thrashing with PJ
dekstops.
Harvey-meets-Throwing Muses fire and purring with hectic pop”
www.myspace.com/siryessir
Stripped down indie-rock songs that recall
early pavement/sebadoh. Memorable and
refreshing tunes.
www.myspace.com/thelightshines
One man. shoegaze drone. garage pop/
blues. eastern tinted psych. lo-fi folk. no
shoes. the sound of many hands.
the devils tool...
www.tv-links.co.uk
check out!
Pixelled crack for your viewing pleasure.
Stream your favourite shows, documen-
The GOTH GOOGLE...
taries and movies as they buffer. Lots on
www.blackle.com
offer here from old skool classics to forgot-
An energy saving version of google
ten gems and new releases. Be warned,
based on the idea that a black screen
shows that once illuminated your childhood
uses less energy than a white one.
may, in reality, be god awful.
A black screen is said to save 750
Megawatt-hours a Year.
art by ben thompson : www.myspace.com/matchstick_mouse
5
WAR ÷ TERROR = PEACE?
I mean, how do you actually define terror let
terror untempered by some great moral idea”
alone accurately measure it? And this man is in
said the French author, Jean-Luc Godard.
charge of our nations security. You might even
Let’s examine the moral equivalence case.
expect soon – the war against violence, the war
Both sides preach noble, enlightened actions
against love, the war against happy-slapping.
in order to rid the world of a perceived evil. For
Leaving aside how you gauge the levels of ter-
“us” (because we are dealing with an “us” vs.
ror, how does one decide it will fall away in fif-
When terror is the result of unexploded bags then some serious questions
One of the Mohammed Siddque Khan appeared
“them” mentality in this country) it is ‘the war
teen years? What happens when, in fifteen years,
in a video after the events of 7/7 explaining
on terror’, ridding the world of Islamic fascism,
somebody finds an unattended bag on a bus?
have to be asked. A Muslim Doctor struck ter-
his reasons for blowing up himself and many
a goal that I actually agree with. For “them”
That would be terror by the definitions of today.
ror into our hearts by crashing his lit car into
innocents. He was wearing a Man Utd shirt, so
it is ridding the Muslim world of foreign and
the front of building. Immediately the mantra
he obviously liked that aspect of our way of life.
undemocratically imposed troops, at least for
seeking the end of terror within fifteen years.
was again trumpeted about that this is “terror,
Tea derived from India. When you begin look-
the 7/7 bombers it was,
terror, terror”, nothing more and nothing less.
ing at these arguments they quickly fall flat.
and again, this a goal I
These Muslim suicide bombers whose haphaz-
It is at this stage you might begin pulling
agree with. However, the
ard plans involving hair dye, backpack bombs,
your hair out trying to find out what precise-
means by which they at-
dodgy timers and killing Salman Rushdie, are en-
ly motivates these people to murder inno-
tempt to complete their
gineered by the media to become a behemoth,
cents. Well, you can listen to what the bomb-
goals are violence, blood-
sent by evil itself to destroy our way of life.
ers actually said, this is Shehzad Tanweer:
shed, terror and pain.
these radicals. “The truth is that there is no
There is a great deal of concern shown in the
So in conclusion, I have some advice for those
Step 1) officially redefine
war to be rid of terror... is
what ‘terror’ means in accordance to its usage today.
one of the greatest conun-
Step 2) shut down religion.
drums of the modern age
Religion
propensity
for
has
a
violence
by the very fact that it
“For the non-Muslims in Britain, you may
Both sides are violent, uncaring about, or un-
is often unwavering faith to one’s reli-
media concerning the link between violence in
wonder what you have done to deserve this.
caring of, innocent lives that are caught up in
gion that is a spur to many terrorist acts.
youths and violence portrayed in video games.
You are those who have voted in your gov-
their noble quest. If you are that way inclined
Step 3) address every single non-religious
Nobody cares about similar effects upon im-
ernment who in turn have and still continue
you could tally up the destruction and death
grievance that is felt in the Middle East. If
pressionable Muslim youths as a result of our
to this day continue to oppress our moth-
for one side against the other, but by doing
these are the stated reasons for acts such as
foreign policy. Some radical Imams and Mullahs
ers and children, brothers and sisters from
so you miss the point. War to be rid of terror,
7/7 then what harm does it take to address
seize on the insecurities inherent in many young
the east to the west in Palestine, Afghani-
violence to dismantle violence and killing civil-
them? This would require a state for the Pal-
Muslims offering answers to difficult questions
stan, Iraq and Chechnya. Your government
ians to stop others killing civilians is one of the
estinians and
of global conflict, domestic unease and the
has openly supported the genocide of more
greatest conundrums of the modern age. Ask
cally elected governments such as Hamas.
afterlife. Martyrdom is held as an ideal whilst
than 150,000 innocent Muslims in Fallujah.
an Iraqi mother if she preferred her son dying
Step 4) listen to the thoughts and opinions
hopes for peaceful change are down played.
We are 100 per cent committed to the
as a result of a truck bomb or as the result
of human rights organisations such as Human
These conclusions are unpopular in the
cause of Islam. We love death the way you love
of a precision-guided missile. You wouldn’t
Rights Watch, B’Tselem, Amnesty International.
mass media and with politicians. It seems
life. I tell all you British citizens to stop your
ask that question – because it is stupid.
They often know more about the effects of war
easier and politically expedient to end any pos-
support to your lying British government and
Everytime you hear the term ‘war against
and injustice than political leaders ever could.
sible debate by stating “they hate our way of
to the so-called war on terror. And ask your-
terror’ you should gag as much as much as
Step 5) do not launch war without exhaust-
life, our freedoms and our customs.” What ex-
selves: why would thousands of men be ready
when somebody makes a racist remark, be-
ing every single possible strategy for the
actly is the British way of life? If there is one,
to give their lives for the cause of Muslims? “
cause they are equally offensive. War is ter-
peaceful
I have yet to find it. Is the British way of life
Ah, they hate our way of foreign policy. I
ror. “The war against terror might take fifteen
Until then it is imperative to remember
strawberries, Wimbledon, football and tea?
see now, but you can’t ask about that link be-
years”. What the fuck! Those are the words
what
I hate Wimbledon and I don’t particularly like
cause then you have some sort of moral equiv-
from, and I am not joking, the “Governments
strawberries – shit, I hate my own way of life.
alence between the British government and
new security supremo” Admiral Sir Alan West.
“There is no terror in a bang,
only in the anticipation of it.”
By Noel Heath
the recognition of democrati-
resolution
Alfred
of
Hitchcock
a
given
conflict.
famously
said:
geeek
meditation session is a time when a person
is completely immersed in the notion of their
Meditation Techniques
true self - without material or social defini-
Alternate Nostril Breathing
tions. It seems that 'doing nothing' is some-
calm
thing severely lacking in western culture. Our
Although commonly known as a pranyama tech-
society no longer takes the time to contem-
nique, this helps redirect the flow of the breath
plate thoughts, feelings and to simply "be”.
and energise both sides of the brain. Due to
After dedicated meditation one begins to
its focused nature this practice is ideal for qui-
feel in a state of "blissful awareness" and a
etening the mind before a meditation session.
feeling of great contentment. In this state the
Spirituality
power of the mind is harnessed and is respon-
1) Close off the right nostril using the
sible for the happiness of the meditator. This
thumb
is peace and it can be attained permanently
2) Close off the left nostril with the ring
without the need for bliss-inducing drugs.
finger and let out the air through the
right
The beauty of meditation is that it can be
and
nostril
the
left.
thumb.
3) Breath in through the right nostril then close off
with the thumb before exhaling through the left.
you can still reap the benefits of time spent
4)
Repeat
the
cycle
about
20
times.
Mantra Meditation
ling on public transport with little to do. To
This involves the repetition of a mantra (sound).
block out the background noise listen to a
The most common is "aum". The sound is
meditation based music track such as the
repeated for the length of the exhalation.
sound of the waves or gong influenced music.
Gong Meditation
for a number of years are reported to be 12
years younger than their chronological age.
utes a day will have a strong positive affect
Although meditation is strongly linked with
on your outlook on life and yourself. The
Primarily
to help cope with the stresses and strains of
religious practice, its has now seeped into
battle with the mind is one that can only
sonic vibrations of the gong are said to in-
every day society. In its simplest forms media-
western culture and is widely practised by athe-
be overcome through inverting the g a z e
duce cellular vibrations, thus revitalising
tion involves focusing on the breath in order to
ists who's main goal is to attain inner peace.
and
and energising the whole nervous system.
help clear the busy mind. Those going deeper
into meditation use various techniques to at-
it has become increasingly difficult to find a
A quick fire list of the benefits include:
tain a higher level of awareness and spirituality.
route to escape. A glass of wine or a gym

Improved concentration
The benefits of daily meditation are s c i -
session may temporarily relieve the stress rid-

Increased serotonin production leading
entifically proven, a relaxation of the body and
den modern mind but after a few hours the
mind help lower stress levels resulting in a more
mental noise will have returned. This explains
positive outlook on life. Some scientists have
meditation’s increased popularity in the west.
gone far enough to suggest that daily medita-
tion can rewire the brains neurological links.
non-attatchment
Those practising transcendental meditation
and status obsession. The 10 or 20 minute
T
releasing
the
sitting position help but when not available
is a prime time when many of us are travel-
The New Drug
by
through
practiced anywhere. Silence and a relaxed
focusing on the breath. The commute to work
Meditation
inhale
hose looking for a natural high
have embraced the powers of mediation
Although dedication is required, 10 min-
controlling
thought
pat terns.
With chaos entrenched in modern society
Meditation helps its devotees develop
to
material
possessions
used
in
Kundhalini
Yoga,
the
Gong meditation classes are hard to find,
a lesser alternative is to buy or download
a CD which features the sound of the gong.
Breath Focus Meditation
to a positive outlook


A calmed mind void of distracting
Perhaps
thoughts
meditation. Simple focusing on the rise
A feeling of higher spiritual awareness
and fall of the breath to quieten the mind
and connection with the world around
and senses. If the mind struggles to qui-
you.
eten you may count the number of breaths.
By Charlotte Holroyd
the
most
well
known
form
geeek
of
Energy wastage in the office each
year equates to the C02
emissions from driving 200,000
family cars - 700,000 tonnes of
OFFICE WASTERS
CO2
or believe with all their heart that it is a myth
- proven by one programme shown on BBC2
I’m on an energy crusade at the
moment and where better to start than the
which denies any existence of it... TV never lies.
dingy offices around the country. After working in
computer every night wont do much to cut
an office where it is the norm to leave computers
down on our countries enormous carbon
on all night, every night, even when their sunning
footprint. Even so the boss’ should care
themselves in Benidorm, I am frankly disgusted.
about the money thats pouring out of moni-
tors every night they burn the midnight oil.
Some lazy f***ers even leave their moni-
Perhaps they feel that turning off their
tors on over the weekend. When questioned
In a recent study 87% of workers claim their
the reasons for leaving computers on perma-
boss hasn’t requested that they turn their com-
nently I am met with a torrid of pathetic excuses
puters off each night. Companies may state in
their phony mission statements that they are
“Its better to leave
reducing carbon emissions, recycling blah blah
blah. Yet in reality little has improved in the
equipment on all the time as
habitual energy wastage of the average office
worker - paper is still thrown away, lights are
it stops any electrical faults.”
still left on and the printer is still over-worked.
BOLLOCKS!
lazy office wasters is a draconian system
Perhaps the only way to ‘encourage’ the
where penalties are incurred if they fail to cut
10
The real reason is that most office work-
their unnecessary energy wastage. Making
ers are too lazy to have to spend their oh-
them watch Al Gore’s recent film, ‘An Incon-
so precious time starting up a computer
venient Truth’ may not tug at their environ-
in the morning. They could be doing all the
mental conscience but I’m sure money will.
productive
things they usually do such as
Infact several council offices are fining de-
chatting about Coronation Street, moaning
partments £30 per computer left on at night.
about the rain, making 1/50 cups of tea etc.
Many either do not care about the immi-
ing enemies with fellow workers but hopefully
At the moment I’m nagging away and mak-
nent and drastic effects of global warming,
the computers will finally get a good nights rest.
By Charlotte Holroyd
In administration and data entry, the individual is the extension
of the computer, performing the small number of tasks in which
the computer is incapable. It requires and insists that there be no
chance to express creative energies, to seriously engage the mind
or to be a part of a fulfilling day’s work.
ORARY
OBJECT
To prevent the mind from floating away is a
life to work for an unspecified amount of time.
challenge for many engaged in post-university
This explains the growth of temp agencies, as
work. All the joys of university life, from day-
more consultants are needed to manage the
time television to learning, socialising and find-
increasing amounts of young people grappling
ing yourself is crushed. The arena of joy is re-
with one another for £6 an hour in order to pay
duced to the basking freedom that comes from
off their student debts. Virtually unprotected
toilet or fag breaks at work. Excitement from
by labour rights, unable to unionise, they are
the first substantial period of personal growth
easy to exploit, mould and discard whenever it
is boiled down to the brief thrill of checking
is felt necessary. What is worse, you are made
your Myspace account whilst your boss is still
to feel ungrateful for turning down work at a
in the room. Dull, middle-aged work-mates and
corporate bank and frowned upon for re-evalu-
the fucker boss try your patience whilst recruit-
ating your university education as a waste of
ment consultants swamp you. The way things
time. It is dizzying to live on the verge of non-
are going everybody will be a recruitment con-
existence, being slowly moulded into the ideal
sultant, recommending jobs for one another. Al-
member of society. This is masked by adverts
leviation comes via cups of tea, shared hardship
from businesses and companies appealing to
with your friends and the liberating feelings that
the ‘rebellious’ youth or the ‘individuality’ of
stem from the weekend indulgences. It is pos-
a person in order to convince us that we can
sible for this transition to go unnoticed or ne-
freely express ourselves and our preferences.
glected as one comes to terms with the working
How many adverts now have the tagline of “Be
world and the cacophony of timesheets, vulgar,
unique”, “don’t be part of the crowd”, “be an in-
beer-driven men and personalised PC monitors.
dividual”? The prime example being the expression of individuality by the virtue of having your
Post-university life as a graduate is a legacy of
hair spiked ft. high by ‘surf wax’ or ‘texturising
shattered illusions, crushed dreams and ambig-
gum’ or some other bullshit marketing term. If
uous understanding. An outside observer can
one is made to feel rebellious or subversive by
spot where the frustrations and depressions
listening to the Kaiser Chiefs then some seri-
lay, bubbling under the surface. Its obvious
ous retrospection needs to be done. Where
isn’t it? The struggles with unemployment, the
have all the unique and critical minds gone?
return to the family home and the purgatorylike hometown; the endless cycle of mediocrity,
There is something more tacit and substantial
stunted nights out and the choking atmosphere
going on if you begin to analyse the situation
of over-familiarity. There is something more
around you and see it from a different perspec-
substantial that is not quite comprehended. It
tive. The boiling water machine at work can be
is in the mental blind spot and when you seek
viewed as a timesaving piece of convenience
it, it disappears, or perhaps, it was never there.
or another example of your boss squeezing
more working minutes out of your leaden brain.
12
If you are a ‘temp’ worker, the only thing the
It may seem outlandish to describe this as
company values in you as a person is your flex-
such a dangerous phenomena when everything
ibility i.e. your ability to drop everything in your
seems dandy, however, there is a war against
geeek
13
ing the small number of tasks in which the
Myspace and Facebook. We are left confused
computer is incapable. It requires and insists
by the information overload on TV, in books,
that there be no chance to express creative
film, the internet, billboards and newspapers
energies, to seriously engage the mind or
and the majority of information is focused on
to be a part of a fulfilling day’s work. Miners
desire. Consumption is happiness. War reports
and matchstick girls in the 1800s worked in
on the situation in Baghdad can be compiled
an environment in which they were psychically
on a desk in New York. How wonderful is it to
tortured; today it is mental torture through ba-
get television on your phone, phones on your
nality, mediocrity and depression. The object
television, internet on your mobile and news
is to induce apathy in the individual where you
on your iPod? Image precedes existence. The
feel life has few rewards, politics cannot be
existence of today is filmed on CCTV, compiled
the human is in full effect around you. The
influenced and you have little in common with
into pie charts for marketing executives and dis-
differences and hostility. This is not to say that
critical and creative self is disappearing. Vir-
the people around you. Apathy can be seen
sected through shop receipts. Although these
humans should be wearing the same thing. Im-
tues of solidarity and compassion are driven
through conspiracy theories where there is so
phenomena have grown massively in the last
age consciousness is a flawed consciousness,
out of you in today’s society in favour of non-
much distrust of government that students in
thirty years, is not a recent project for govern-
as you tend to judge humans as products, as
conscious beings that have more in common
their mother’s basements become demolition
ment and the state. Pierre Proudhon, an as-
defined by their outer layer. Inner faculties of
with PC’s than humans. Whereas the subtext
experts, creating facts showing how George
tute anarchist thinker, wrote about the abuse
love, kindness, solidarity and resistance are to
during industrial revolution was the war be-
W. Bush perpetrated 9/11. Youths cement
of the individual by the state back in 1851:
be ignored. It also serves another purpose; to
tween the human and machine, the machine
themselves around shops at night as there is
taking over the work of humans in production
nothing else to do. There is a cynicism of eve-
“To be governed is to be watched over, inspect-
age, the war against the mind of the human.
and industry, today’s subtext is the strug-
rything; this is encouraged, because being cyn-
ed, spied on, legislated, regimented, closed
Habermas called it ‘distorted communication’
gle to computerise the individual, to plant
ical is easier than being critical and analytical.
in, indoctrinated, preached at, controlled, as-
and it has been analysed by some psychoana-
sessed, evaluated, censored, commanded; all
lysts, philosophers such as Hebert Marcuse
Humans are cantonised into subcultures and
by creatures that have neither the right, nor
and Michel Foucault. Noam Chomsky talks
There are objects and feelings we possess
fads; image, superficiality and the spectacle
wisdom, nor virtue… To be governed means
about this the crushing of this fundamental
that we would never even contemplate giv-
dominate. They are treated as means, not
that at every move, operation, or transaction
human characteristic and how it starts from
ing away to the undeserved but the most
an end, and people have become walking ad-
one is noted, registered, entered into a cen-
the age of 4 or 5 in ‘Understanding Power’:
precious element of our life, that of time, is
verts for products. Personalities are fashions,
sus, taxed, stamped, priced, assessed, pat-
given away to our bosses and our teachers so
bought and sold on eBAY and advertised on
distrust and difference into the populace.
divert attention away from the real war of our
ented, licensed, authorised, recommended,
“…What’s valued here is the ability to work on
readily. The necessity to eat and to afford the
admonished, prevented, reformed, set right,
an assembly line, even if it’s an intellectual as-
things that make us tick, music, books, drugs,
corrected…Then, at the first sign of resistance
sembly line. The import thing is to obey orders,
compels us to give up our time and energy
or word of complaint, one is repressed, fined,
and to do what you are told, and to be where you
for the most uninspiring tasks. Graduates are
despised, vexed, pursued, hustled, beaten up,
are supposed to be. The values are, you’re go-
easy prey as they have massive debts and in-
garrotted, imprisoned, shot, machine-gunned,
ing to be a factory somewhere – maybe they’ll
calculable hopes when entering the working
judged,
sacrificed,
call it a university…If you happen to be innova-
world. And so begins the legacy of data entry,
sold, betrayed, and to cap it all, ridiculed,
tive, or maybe you forgot to come to school
administration, marketing and databasing.
mocked, outraged and dishonoured. That is
one day because you were reading a book or
government, that is its justice and its morality!”
listening to music, that’s a tragedy, that’s a
sentenced,
deported,
In administration and data entry, the individual
is the extension of the computer, perform-
14
crime…These are major phenomena of modern
This constant pulling apart of a society breeds
life – but where do you go to study them in uni-
geeek
15
don’t go to the economics department…they
are interested in abstract models of how a
free-enterprise economy works…You don’t go
to the political sciences department, because
they’re concerned with electoral statistics,
and voting patterns, and micro-bureaucracy…
“
…What’s valued here is
the ability to work on an
assembly line, even if it’s
an intellectual assembly
line.
“
versities or the academic profession? … You
sanctum of the brain where we can change our
your boss as “even the well disposed are made
minds, see new perspectives and decide on a
daily agents of injustice.” Be critical of injustic-
path, no matter how small, that creates friction
es, take responsibility for your well-being and
in the cogs of a seemingly all-powerful system.
those close to you and most important, follow
creative urges and introduce them into fields that
Lastly, at every moment one processes
lack them. Communicate and involve yourself in
a thought or suffers an injustice you are
communities that share your creative energies
unconsciously linked to millions of people
Where to from here? It is the duty of every
whether it be your local music scene, book club
undergoing the same ebb and flow of modern
Ideological control and the state cannot use
critical human being to become human alarm
or socially conscious organisations. Be wary of
life. Michel Foucault in the last year of his life
mass forms of violence to control the popu-
clocks – to awaken ourselves and those around
dogmatism, the best thinkers attack dogmatism
gave a summary of this international nature
lace anymore. To a large extent elements of
us. Goethe wrote “I despise everything which
in all its manifestations whether it be the reli-
of resistance. He reminds us that whether we
Orwell’s 1984 are scarily in existence and
merely instructs me without increasing or im-
gious proclamations or university reading lists.
are white, privileged graduates or the victims
have been for years. In such an distorted
mediately enlivening my activity.” The correct
world it is no surprise that most of us do not
way to combat the herd mentality is to befriend
We all have feelings of worthlessness or empti-
bers of the community of the governed, and
care about where the tramp living in the same
those you would normally scorn, dress as poorly
ness, where our aspirations for a better world
thereby obliged to show mutual solidarity.”
city centre as us will find food, shelter and
as possible and above all question yourself and
or our dreams for a richer life are weakened by
Furthermore, “it is the duty of this internation-
warmth; where we attack those on benefits
others. There is nothing you cannot learn about
events seemingly out of our control. Remember
al citizenship to always bring the testimony of
as damaging the very fabric of society and
yourself or the world around you by passion
that no matter what occurs, even if our dreams
people’s suffering to the eyes and ears of gov-
not see them as victims; where foreign work-
commitment to expanding your awareness and
are deferred, that the damaging effects of pres-
ernments, sufferings for which it’s untrue that
ers are scorned; where we passively accept
evaluating knowledge through your subjective
sures from work, the family, of relationships
they are not responsible.” Concluding “the will
that the heads of companies earn disgusting
experience. After all, the best histories, analy-
cannot dent the ultimate freedom: the freedom
of individuals must make a place for itself in a
amounts of money in comparison to the lower
ses, fiction and philosophy are subjective and
to choose. Even trapped down the remotest ally
reality of which governments have attempted
workers. We decide in our minds that some-
show the human element in them. Do not be
we can choose how to respond and how to act
to reserve a monopoly for themselves, that
how he deserved it and has worked harder de-
afraid of resentment towards injustices or hard-
and that feeling is truly liberating. We are all re-
monopoly which we need to wrest from them
spite the fact that the single mother of three
ships, Sisyphus resented pushing his rock up
sponsible for the order of things around us and
little by little and day by day.”
working as a cleaner expends much more ef-
the hill but it was resentment that drove him on.
the situations we are in and we can take action
You don’t go to the sociology department because they’re studying crimes in the ghettos.
fort and sacrifice than the bloke in his office.
16
politician, boss or parent can destroy the inner
However, do not be resentful of yourself or even
of corporate greed in Nigeria “we are all mem-
against it. Most importantly, whenever one feels
“ [t h e m a n o f rese n t m e n t] l o ves h i d i n g
lethargic and bored remember that one is a par-
p l a ces, se cret pa t hs a n d ba ck d o o rs,
ticipant in the greatest war of modern times,
eve r y t h i n g co ve r t e n t i ces h i m as h is
the war against the human and by taking action
w o rl d, h is se cu ri t y, h is re fres h m e n t; h e
you arm yourself on the frontline. They may be
u n d e rsta n ds h o w to ke e p s i l e n t, h o w
small actions such as turning ‘America’s Next
n o t to fo rget, h o w to wa i t, h o w to b e
Top Model’ off or grinding your teeth at work,
p ro v is i o n a l ly se l f - d e p re ca t i n g a n d h u m -
they may be large actions such as attending
b l e. A ra ce o f s u ch m e n rese n t m e n t is
anti-war marches or civil disobedience, but the
b o u n d to b e co m e m o re cl eve re r t h a n
very nature of this change of action brings im-
a ny n o b l e ra ce; i t w i l l a lso h o n o u r
measurable hope for the future. This is because
cl eve rn ess to a fa r grea te r d egre e.”
no weight of force, no army, no terrorist, no
By Noel Heath
We are in need of less yes’s and more
no’s, no matter how small the no’s may
be...
geeek
17
art by ben thompson : www.myspace.com/matchstick_mouse
19
geeek
18
I’d stumbled across the term ‘Vorearephilia’
one
evening whilst aimlessly browsing the online encyclopedia, Wikipedia. A
brief definition informed me that voreaphelia is “a sexual fantasy
relating to being consumed or contained”. The lack of embellishment
here coupled with my ever growing fascination with bizarre fetishes had
intrigued me enough to dig a little deeper...
Later that evening I googled the term and found that vorarephilia
(also known as ‘vore’) refers to a fetishism that is largely based around
the thought of consumption/containment of another person or creature
entirely inside one’s body; or alternatively, being consumed or
Take a look Inside...
contained yourself. It turns out that the vorarephilia community is both
vast and rapidly growing in popularity, with individual vorarephilia
websites hosting over 7,000 members worldwide.
Kingdom of the Vore… Further googling led me to
‘Eva’s Portal’, the mecca of the vore community. In here, vore’s of all
type and preference can interact with one another, role play, share their
vore related art and literature amongst other vore excursions. The main
features of the site include fan literature, member forums, archives,
Cl ick he re to vis
it
developed computer RPG games (http://aryion.com/modules.
php?name=Voregame), short animations and preset role playing
scenarios to name a few. It is made clear on the homepage that the
site’s existence is to cater to vore art, writing, and other material that
contributes to the fetish.
APHELIA
I found the range of fiction created for the community to be vast and
highly detailed ranging from ‘soft vore’ (i.e. human’s consuming fully
formed water melons) to ‘hardcore vore’ (human eats human, human
digests in human’s stomach in bits). The heavy reliance on roleplay and
fan fiction made a lot of sense to me, seeing as 99% of these documented fantasies would be both highly illegal and/or impossible to act
20
geeek
21
Do’s and Don’ts in
literature came across like a poor man’s H.P. Lovecraft
It is uncommon for vorarephiliacs to meet
short, building a notion of impending doom with a
in person, therefore roleplaying is a highly
fantastical twist on reality. However I still wasn’t close to
important sexual outlet for vores. The
comprehending the satisfaction taken from another live
roleplaying
human being digesting inside of me.
a sadomasochistic relationship. The usu-
al; decision are made before roleplay:
Vorarephilia has evolved over the years to encompass
generally
structures
around
1
a wide range of sexual fetishisms under its moniker
ranging from the abstract (macrophilia – giants) to the
“The first time I encountered vore was
around 4 or 5 years old in Yoshi’s Story for the SNES, the level where the
witch shrunk yoshi and fed him to the
huge frog.”
books I have grown up with are considered ‘vore
favourites’. Some of these included Beetlejuice, Moby
Dick, King Kong, Little Shop of Horrors and Jaws
(where one vore described Jaw’s eating of the
character Quint as “hot”). From a vore perspective, the
list is never ending, especially within the video game
industry. There seemed to be a largely competitive
Are you stretchy or realistic? Realistic
“I started to realize I was a voraphile
attitude amongst major vore forums about what is
roleplays generally involve realistic size por-
after seeing some vore art with Big
considered ‘vore material’.
inhumane (cannibalism - although most vore’s do not
trayals for example, a midget can’t eat a horse
Blue Fox. It was that was drawing with
favour cannibalism). The ambiguity of the term means that
whole. In a stretchy roleplay he could digest
it touches upon many other more socially aware (although
as many horses as he chooses to.
him about to be eaten by Sylvester
whether or not Pacman was the original vore RPG, I
no less accepted) fetishes such as bestiality and
maiesiophilia. However unlike a lot of other known sexual
fetishes, I have been told that vorarephilia is purely a
fantasy fetish. Upon this discovery I had already decided
2
3
Microphile / Macrophile? Who is the
larger
vore?
Who
is
consuming
who?
IC or OOC? In-Character means you set
up some detail about who you are play-
that I’d seen enough Eurotrash and read enough Bizarre
ing. Out Of Character means you are more
magazine to convince myself otherwise. If the Internet has
being yourself, who you are in reality.
taught me anything (besides Wikipedia) its that there are
few boundaries left to cross, especially when it comes to
sexual fetishism. I set it upon myself to immerse myself
within this culture, to dig deep and find out how one
becomes a vore, how they realise their vorarephilic nature.
I was particularly interested in looking at the social and
cultural reactions to a sexual fetish being left purely to the
human imagination. I wondered how a sexual fetishist
(someone that is generally affiliated with impulsive and
.
ing..
view
e
r
d vo
ende
m
e K i ds
m
un k t h
r
Reco
h
S
I
ey
1. Hon
ce
er S p a
2.I n n
ll
l Reca
3 . T o t a
from Looney Toons.”
Amidst trawling through an argument regarding
felt a clear pattern emerging between vorephilia and
the media arts. There was a distinct presence of
”Realized it mostly from cartoons and
video games. The fleech from Abes
Exodus really intrigued me.”
nostalgia and regression here but no particular trace
of explicit sexual desire or at least the kind of
extremities one would expect from a fetish community.
“I remember seeing Honey, I Shrunk
The consensus seemed to be that a vore looks
back at these childhood memories as a pinpoint of
realisation of their feelings. I couldn’t help but wonder
the Kids and seeing the character Nick
whether this phenomenon was the by-product of an
on Wayne’s spoon; there’s that won-
over indulgence/reliance in the visual arts at such a
derful shot of Wayne’s (Rick Moranis)
young, impressionable and hormonal age group. But
wide open mouth.”
then if that were the case why didn’t I share these
vorarephilic urges? Regardless I wanted to find out
“
more.
The Vore Quest...The most active and
common social activity within the vore community is
addictive sexual behaviour) copes when they can never
online roleplaying; indulging within a fantasy scenario with a fellow trusted vore. In order
fully indulge in their true sexual desires.
to get a better insight into the community life, my first priority was to swot up on as much
Media Vore...
Within Eva’s portal is a maze of
vorarephilia terminology as I could find...
vore category, sub category, forums discussing each sub
Eka’s Portal is the number one vore website. It is a large community hosting over
category and a ridiculous amount of fan fiction associated
5000 members since its launch in 2004. When it comes to vore, this site has it
with the fetish.
The first forum topic I came across was dedicated to
‘Vore in the media’. Endless lists of noteable mentions
within the arts were both a subject of union and disagreement amongst fans. The community had clearly spent a lot
of time discussing examples of vore within classic
literature, television, animation, and film throughout
history. It turned out that a lot of my favourite films and
22
“
Vore Roleplay
out in reality. All this was interesting enough, a lot of the
Vore fan’s discuss their first vore
experience……
pretty much covered.
Interview with the Vore... I managed to get in touch with the
creator of this domain, Eka, who kindly spoke with me about the culture of the
vore community:
Q. Eka, what are your thoughts about how one becomes a voreaphile?
after reading through various forums it seems like a lot of vore’s realised
there feelings at a very young age. Do you think this is something
geeek
23
developed from our environments or from birth?
A. The way I see it, as psychology goes, young minds are easier which
to influence. At the same time, people probably have some form of
Unbirthing (vaginal/womb envelopment) appear to be one of the
‘fetish’ most closely related to vore. In fact, many argue that unbirthing
vore experience at a young age that stays in their mind as a ‘trigger’.
Hard Vore: Generally hard vore would be some-
As they grew older, they might find the experience in a different way,
thing involving rip-and-shred
but the fondness of it is certainly related to what happened when
is a sub categories at all. Understanding both have something to do with
one being inside another, it is reasonable that both are tightly related to
each other. Beyond that, there are many other variety not as commonly
talk about, but just as easily related with each other.
they were young. For another word, it may have more to do with the
Genital Vore:
environment because, evidently, most can recall their first vore
into the two types of genitals and involves either of
Q. It seems to me that the vore community is quite a safe place that I
experience coming from media.
them consuming a victim. If it is the male genital doing
wouldn’t particularly associate with sex crimes. I wonder if this has
the eating, it is referred to as Cock Vore. The victim is
anything to do with vore’s not having a physical outlet for voring such as
usually digested, at least partially, in the scrotum, but
intercourse. Do you see it as more of a fantasy fetish kept indoors?
Q. I have found that indulging in vore roleplay behaviour is quite
Genital vore naturally divides
common. Do you find this roleplaying fulfilling enough to satisfy your
sometimes in the stomach, depending upon which way
A. Vore being an impossibility in real life does make it safe from sex
desires? I wonder whether for some vores if there is more to this
the writer/artist chooses to turn the victim.·
crime. Since there really isn’t any reason to meet in real life to begin with,
than roleplaying. Do you know of any incidents of human’s going
beyond the roleplay and into reality?
A.
Unbirth: Involves people who fancy getting envel-
there isn’t much chance to perform sex crimes.
oped by the vagina as a part of sex to those who are
Q. Can the vore community be generalised in anyway? For example do
more into the “return to the womb.”
vore’s tend to be gender specific? age?
fantasy makes it much more desirable for me. I do know people who
anal Vore - Pretty straight forward. Anal vore is
every case I have run into. No matter how many people you have saw,
wish to construct doll or fur suit toy that can stimulates the effect,
the act of someone consuming someone else with their
those seem as innocent as bug bunny being swallow whole by Taz in
anus. Kinda like a backward way of eating.
I’m sure a minority enjoy this in a more real life level. However I
personally find it much better staying as a fantasy. After all, unlike
cannibalism, vore is not a possibility in real life. The fact that it is a
cartoon.
Q. Would you say it is fair to say voreaphilia is foremost a sexual
fetish?
A.
As far as vorarephilia goes, there always seems to be exceptions
every step down the line, which certainly adds a bit of mystery
around this subject. However, the majority of the cases of vorarephilia are a sexual fetish.
Q. Do vore’s tend to meet up in person or is it more common to
Macrophilia & Microphilia: The character involved in the vore is larger or smaller than normal.
Furry: A common type of vore that fantasises about
anthromorphic animals (humanized).
A. No, they can not be generalized. There are exception in just about
someone will find a different reason to like vore.
future for vore?
It seems inevitable that the natural progression of the vore community
will remain relatively underground - within the visual arts, the Internet
and online literature. With the rise of media escapism in today’s society,
particularly amongst the youth of today, perhaps the future will produce
an influx of voreaphiliacs, maybe things will eventually overflow into the
mainstream and vore’s will be accepted in mainstream society.
Bellbottom vore: The act of being devoured by
the bell of a pair of bellbottoms
munity is seemingly minimal. The lack of focus on pornographic regulars
The level of depravity and perversion I was expecting from this com-
(ejaculation, climaxation etc) exudes a womblike aura of safeness, like the
roleplay over the net?
Soul vore:
the soul of a creature, for a gain of
should be associated with voring, whether they exist or not. The community has enveloped
couple, but it does not make them engage any vore activity with each
energy, or even stealing their memories
themselves within their own world; whether this is a subconscious creation of living their
other in person. There are vore group meetings in the past as well,
or life.
own cocooned vore lifestyle or simply shame from a world they feel will never understand
A. I know a few “vore’s” who know each other in person, or are a
but seem little more then hang out together.
Q. There seems to be a lot of sub categories of vorarephilia, a bit
24
A.
vore type are you?
The act of consuming
Reduction Vore: The victim
fantastical nature of the subculture shields away all of the bad notions that
them I’ll never know. I see vorarephilia as a highly regressive sexual fetish, stemming from
a world longing to be returned to whether that be a mother’s womb, or that first time you
is digested, but his solid mass stays
saw Rick Moranis’ gaping yapper. Then there is the domineering side of voring, the need to
like with S&M. Are there more commonly accepted forms than
together as one, leaving him alive as he
become somebody’s world, be in total control of another’s existence.
others?
is digested.
I still can’t help but suspect something else more real is lurking beyond the surface. If By Adam Carless
anyone knows about this, be sure to contact me asap.
geeek
25
THE
F E+ M E N I S T
PAGES
THE ORIGINAL
Ariel Levy
Contrary to popular belief feminism IS NOT
Born in London 1759, Woll-
dead. The diverse subgroups derived from
stonecraft is hailed as the original
stripper or a porn star -
feminist thought proves that feminism is in
feminist and her influence remains
- a woman whose job is
fact alive and kicking. Post-modern times have
timeless within popular feminist
forced second-wave feminists to re-evaluate
culture. Her daughter Mary Shelley,
-- going to render us sexually liberated?”
went on to write the famous novel
Levys book details the alarming trend
their place in society and the gains still needed
to be made in order to close the gender gap.
minismn of an e
F
a
h
bina tio
Anarc
a co m
t
s u g ge s
Individ
ualist-F
eves
wou ld
n t beli
na me
ove m e
m
is
A s the
h
. T
a ll
m in ism
r u les
a nd fe
socia l
m
d
is
n
h
a
c
ar
.
r r iage
wo men
te, ma
a ins t
g
il y, s ta
a
m
fa
n
the
essio
l oppr
tr iacha
a
p
e
th
for m
Evangelical Feminism
ble and Christianity yet maintain a stance that
believes in equal rights for women. This group
also believes that the bible is ‘feminist-friendly’?!
Cultural Feminism
eminis
T he id
ea tha
t ever y
wo ma n
fl icti ng
has u n
goa ls
iq u e a
n d co n
a nd v ie
w
s and
to pro
a n in h
tect th
e re n t
eir pro
r igh t
per t y
It s em
and p
p hasis
erso na
l spac
is p lac
e.
ed on
ment
ind iv id
and a
u
al em
re s p o n
powersibil it y
to im p
rove e
q ua li t y
.
m
ism
Psychoanalytic Femin

Generally hold conservative views about the bi-
Cul tural fem inis ts exa
mine the bio logica l
differences bet ween men and
wo men and cal l for an
inclusio n of wo men into
ma le cul ture. They pro
pose
tha t as wo men are pra
ised for their nur turing
caring nat ure and tha t the
ir inclusion will hel p bal
ance
out the overly- aggresive
nat ure of todays society
.
26
Book Review
Mary Wollstonecraft
atio n,
s on chi ldhood socializ
Inspired by Freuds theorie
s as
ly chi ldhood experience
this movement see’s ear
n of
inequa lity wit h a rejectio
the rou te of all gender
nces.
rela ting to gender differe
any bio logica l theories
“
...how
is
imitating
a
to imitate arousal in the first place
Frankenstein, however her own life was dedicated to
of ‘raunch’ culture and its use in con-
educating women who she saw had little opportunity
vincing women that they can empow-
to expand their lives beyond the stifling walls of the
er themselves through methods akin
home. She wrote her output around the time of the
to those seen in strip clubs. A rele-
French Revolution and applied its theories to her
vant insight into the ever-increasing
gender studies. Other influences to her work include
ladette phenomenon, with contempo-
the societal reaction to her illegitimate daughter, the
rary cultural references to ‘girls gone
lack of employment opportunities for women and her
wild’ and ‘playboy bunnies’ exposes
experience with the females she worked amongst.
how the media has duped many
Key Theories: Mary explored the individual rights of
women into abandoning feminism
women and proposed that they should not compare
in favour of becoming an accepted
achievements to that of their male counterparts.
member of the masculine world.
Her key argument was the right for every woman
to receive education in order to gain emancipation.
who feel that faux examples of fe-
She proposed that women are seen as less equal to
male empowerment - embodied in
men due to a lack of education. Mary had a repulsion
the likes of the Pussycat Dolls and
for the women of her time, branding them “gentle
Paris Hilton, are simply disguis-
domestic brutes, educated in slavish dependence
ing the prominent and underlying
and enervated by luxury and sloth.”
objectification
the
Alongside her battle for the improvement of fe-
A must for both men and women
media
of
and
women
popular
within
culture.
male intellect, she also called for sexual freedom for

Post-colonial Feminism
Rejects western forms of feminist thought and the
assumption that western women are the most empowered within the modern world. They argue that
colonial forces such as race and class are more
responsible for gender oppression than patriachy.
women. Due to her stance on this she was continually branded a “prostitute” even among early 19th
century feminists.
Key Quote: “I do not wish [women] to have power
over men; but over themselves.”
Key Books: A Vindication on the rights of Woman,
A Vindication on the rights of Men,
GO SEE!
www.thefword.org.uk for up-to-date
feminist musings, reviews and
articles!
Cl ick here to vis
it
Maria, or the Wrongs of Woman.
“
Feminism is the radical notion that women are people
geeek
”
27
social trends and collective ethical conscienc-
citizen that is) about the amount of recycling
es. Punk music, body modification, alterna-
they do. Council initiatives such as fortnightly
tive fashion are all recent examples that have
collections raise public outrage – but still 7
been sanitised and placated for the profit of
out of 10 of our black bin liners end up in a
big business. Identit-kit boy-band, pop ‘punk’
land fill sight. That is a staggering statistic to
outfits such as Busted, demonstrate how suc-
comprehend, but there are solutions to waste.
cessfully a radical, anti-establishment con-
cept can be re-packaged and sold back to the
options. Women may have a responsibility with
teenagers that at one time might have sought
simple lifestyle choices such as the Mooncup
out rebellion for themselves as opposed to
– but what about the choices that are taken
finding it wrapped up in shiny new plastic
away from women over their bodies? Contra-
coating fit for middle of the road consumption
ception is still limited to female responsibility
whilst ruthlessly stealing the aesthetic, the
(with the exception of condoms); stop to con-
essence of the sound (however crappy their
sider the packaging alone for contraception
power
chords
all
one
for
were)
purpose:
pursuit of the pound.
So how is the green
economy
finding
its
methods! However, the
7 out of 10 of our black
bin liners end up in a landfill
strength in an arguably
The Rise of the Green Pound
A
apathetic 21st Century
gender split does not
spare blame for anyone.
The
waste
medical
world’s
problems
rival
those of big businesses
site.
pumping all kinds of
world? Well, we can’t ar-
unsightly muck into the
gue with the science, can we? OK, some of the
oceans and rivers on a day-to-day basis. Yet
science is debatable. Particularly if your politi-
the financial power of such strongholds on
s climate change hurtles
us unknowingly into a new
market frenzy, will capital-
once more, the majority of tampons includ-
cal leanings (George W. Bush’s famous denial
organisations means taxing these actions
ing the leading major brands are made with
of climate change for instance) suggest its
rarely dents the pockets of the proprietors.
dangerous substances that women are unwit-
better to ignore certain universal truths – such
ism be the sole benefactor or
tingly putting inside their bodies on a monthly
as the rising temperature of the planet, which
er living may take a little more effort than just
can we profit more profoundly from en-
basis. Posing a very real and quite fright-
year on year is confusing our weather, swap-
chucking everything into a bin. Yes separat-
vironmentally
ening risk to millions of women everyday.
ping our seasons and causing flash floods,
ing, paper, plastic and tin cans takes a second
Often theses alternative ways of deal-
drought and disaster in various corners of
more – seeking out a shop where you buy food
is a relatively unknown entity to most wom-
ing with the un-sexy, un-glamorous aspects
the planet. After experiencing this particularly
minus the excessive packaging is less conven-
en. Often the name alone would suggest we
of female existence are brushed under the
disappointing ‘British Summer’, are people
ient than bulk buying in super power supermar-
dismiss it as a ‘hippy fad’. Environmentally
carpet, along with any discourse surround-
beginning to make the connections between
ket giants which appear to spring up on every
conscious products such as this reusable
ing the inconvenient, messy and gener-
our individual actions and the consequences
street corner. Conversely, our other option is to
menstrual cup (yes stop yourself gagging
ally unpalatable business of the ‘monthly
evident on a larger scale? It’s seems tricky
continue spending £1 out of every £7 spent in
and read on!) minimises waste and cost dur-
visitor’. But what are the implications of con-
to pin down an answer. One might generalise
the UK in a Tesco store. The price of ‘green’
ing a period. All tampons (unless specifically
sumer power shifting to greener choices?
that recycling schemes are a step in the right
may be more than many are initially will-
described as being made with organic cotton)
Capitalism successfully appropriates the
direction, but a recent report suggests Brit-
ing to pay, but actively choosing to limit
contain bleach and asbestos. Yes! Read that
small and the independent to benefit shifts in
ish people lie (more than any other European
the real cost of our actions is priceless.
28
Maybe it’s a question of researching the
aware
consumer
culture?
“Greener, safer, cheaper”, the ‘Mooncup’
Illustration: Neil Duerden www.neilduerden.co.uk Photography : James Lightbown
Article By Jessica Hill
Which leads me us to the solution. Green-
geeek
29
LOVE BITE, 134.4x96.5 cms/ 4’5”x3’2”, charcoal & pencil on paper
COLLATERAL DAMAGE, 100x87 cms/ 3’3”x2’10”, charcoal & pencil on paper
Laurie Lipton, born in New York, began drawing at age 4. Describing herself as a “self-taught” artist, she nevertheless was the first person to graduate from Carnegie-Mellon University in Pennsylvania with
a Fine Arts Degree in Drawing (with Honors). She lived in Holland, Belgium, Germany and France, had numerous solo exhibitions in England, Belgium, Holland and the U.S., was honored with a major retrospective
exhibition at the Chamber of Pop Culture, and is preparing a fine art book of her drawings. In 1986, she made London her home.
Relying on experience and imagination to make her drawings “real,” Lipton was inspired by religious paintings of the Flemish school. She sought to teach herself (and failed) to paint in the figurative style of the 17th
century Dutch. In time, she developed a technique - the cross-hatch method of egg-tempera, building up tone with thousands of lines - that enriches each drawing with beautifully varied tonality and detail. Lipton
30
states that her work - measuring space occupied by an object, defining its form, handling the universe of a blank piece of paper, and combining the workings of her eye-mind-hand to express her vision - takes a
“tremendous amount of time, effort, patience and, above all, desire.” www.myspace.com/laurieliptondrawings
31
GI v e
“Trindie”, a term defined by the urban dictionary (www.urbandictionary.com) as a
“combination of “trendy” and “indie”: Used to describe the formerly indie bands that
have grown in popularity, usually (but not always) due to attention from British music mag NME. Examples include, but are not limited to, Bloc Party, Franz Ferdinand,
The Killers, The Kaiser Chiefs, and The Arcade Fire”.
it Back...
Frustrations of an indie rock fan
“Hipster’’, a term from the early days of jazz (the people in
the know about emerging cultures) revived when the music
marketing industry started to have trouble grouping the 18
to 24 demographic because of their eclectic tastes.
Both terms are also known to characterise those
fans who like to play dress up, who ‘look the
part’ without necessarily liking the culture or the
musical scenes they are aping from. Akin to the
(notoriously purist) metal underground, similar
problems are happening to the foundations of
indie rock, the culture being parodied, the line
between the serious music fan and fashonista
being blurred into a marketable parody of itself.
But has this always been the case? Has there
always been an issue of style over substance
within this genre, if it even is a genre? After all
the evidence speaks for itself, you only have to
look at some of the championed indie rockers
(the Smiths, the Jesus and Mary Chain) to see
how synonymous image and indie rock are. Even
band’s who made a point of ‘dressing down’ can
still be seen imitated in the streets today (Pave-
32
ment, Sonic Youth, Dinosaur Jr). Be it or be it not
the case, one thing I know is of the current stigma
in the UK, where ‘indie’ is now a term that encompasses even the most severely watered down rock
n roll (see Orson). A term that is most accurately
represented by Big Brother 8 contestant Emily in
pointing out to the nation, “there’s this new type of
music sweeping the nation called indie”.
I wanted to reassure myself that this wasn’t the
bigger picture for indie rock, and that the revolution
had at some point blown way off course from the
foundations it was built upon.
For those that aren’t actually aware of the
roots of indie rock, the story goes something like
this….
The Indie Ethos
‘Indie’ rock is shorthand for independent rock,
as many artists labelled with this tag were either
unsigned or signed to independent record labels.
Therefore this is not necessarily a genre of music
other than being rooted in the rock tradition.
Throughout its inception in the 1980’s, the phrase
has grown to become an umbrella term for a
diverse and wide range of artists from different
backgrounds and communities. Those whom are all
connected by some sort of allegiance or desire to
the values of underground culture. It can therefore
be said that indie rock at its core will always have a
strong DIY ethos. In the 1980’s, this shared ethos
was ignited as the reaction to the manufacturing of
music typifying the industry at the time. Indie rock
was about keeping control, over record distribution,
touring scheduling, promotion etc.
In the US, indie rock is known to descend from
the DIY punk movements of the late 1970’s /
early 80’s. Alternative bands like Husker Du and
Dinosaur Jr retained a strong DIY ethos and
underground following and are examples of a
typical ‘indie’ ethos, designing their own sleeve
covers, arranging their own tour schedule.
Whereas some of the other alternative bands of
the 80’s like R.E.M ended up signing to majors
and garnering a lot of criticism from the indie
rock community.
However some would argue that signing
to a major label doesn’t necessarily make you
any less credible than you allow yourself to be,
it can be a logical and smart move. What if you
want your music to reach a far wider audience
without compromise or commercialisation? If a
major label is happy with your sound as it is and
is merely offering their distribution opportunities then what is the problem?
The indie purist’s structural definition of
“indie” would draw the line further down, not
between the “big 4” major labels and their
subsidiaries but between the “big indie” labels
and smaller labels (the ‘true’ indie labels). These
small labels are typically run by a few people,
often out of their home or garage, and often
coupled with a mail-order service representing
other labels. Labels can be partially or completely run by musicians in bands who exist on the
label, or by avid fans of specialised scenes. It is
common for independent labels to prioritise the
purity of the music over commercial success,
and so many labels will close down or go on
hiatus when the owners lose interest or run out
of money (or even fulfil their mission). Archetypal examples of such labels include Factory
Records, Dischord, and Kill Rock Stars.
The converse of this are independent labels
that have been perceived, rightly or wrongly,
as being overly “commercial” or exploitative of
certain artists or trends i.e. Fat Wreck Chords,
Matador Records, Sub Pop, and Epitaph.
In the UK, the underground success of
‘alternative’ rock acts like Aztec Camera, The
Smiths and The Jesus and Mary Chain helped
pave the way for future alternative rock artists
to gain influence and notoriety amongst muso
culture. The term, (although essentially referring to a different realm of culture), became
synonymous with many of the subsequent
artists influenced from these bands, including
the Shoegazing movement of the early 90’s. The
term could also be used to pigeonhole almost
any form of music that wasn’t really categoriseable and therefore was a useful tool to marketers
aiming for this demographic.
In the early 90’s, led by a new wave of
‘grunge’ bands including Nirvana and Sonic
Youth, alternative rock broke out into the mainstream. Sonic Youth’s Thurston Moore depicted
this as ‘the year punk broke’, claiming that the
ethos that all of this music had stood for, and
been born out of had been ripped from its roots
and commercialized by mainstream culture. He
deemed it the beginning of the end.
In 1991, following the global commercial
geeek
33
success of Nirvana’s Nevermind album, the alternative rock genre did indeed become heavily
commercialised. Mainstream success attracted
major-label investment to a whole new culture
of commercially-oriented or manufactured rock
acts with a formulaic, conservative approach. And so a wave of sub-cultures would
emerge from the ‘year punk broke’, beginning
with the early 90’s lo-fi DIY movement, characterised by a group of bands opposing the
mainstream format of alternative rock and their
‘slick’ production values. A lot of these bands
(i.e. Pavement, Sebadoh, Guided by Voices)
would embrace the emergence of the portable
recording format on the market and champion
the lo-fi recording sound. A counter cultural reaction that’s influence bears relevance on a lot
of the ‘trindie’ bands you hear today. The kind
of bands that can get away with stealing ideas
through polishing a sound rather than building
on it.
More recently, (especially in the UK) the
term ‘indie rock’ has become a phrase that
34
encompasses a paradoxically broad range of
musical genres and styles, far too many to list.
The indie culture that grew out of the musical
independence of the 1980’s has been hijacked,
its philosophy twisted by influential media
publications that have found success in crossbreeding indie culture with whatever trendy
scene is put on the tip of everyone’s tongues.
And since, bands that would have once strived
to be champions of the underground have
chosen to refine their sound to allow them onto
the surface, becoming the new mainstream.
Rather than this being the musical revolution it
should have been there is a now certain level of
conformity required to almost guarantee a spot
on that platform (see Snow Patrol, Razorlight).
A major concern of mine is whether or
not the indie culture can handle this level of
conformity; the showmanship demands of the
casual pop fan, of giant stadium arenas. After
all, indie rock was founded as a reaction to
these attitudes.
The Indie CROSSROADS
Now I have no major beef with ‘NME’
tagged bands hitting the mainstream, it’s not
usually the music that’s the issue. I mean why
should they turn down this free publicity, the
glitz and glamour? It must be tough to flat out
reject a global platform for yourself and your
music.
The NME has, over the years, garnered
that sort of power, the ability to break a band in
a single issue. Take ‘the Horrors’ - a previously
unknown garage rock band have their single
‘Sheena is a Parasite’ played in an NME brand
night club, followed by a front cover slot on the
next issue of the NME… Two swift moves later
and these guys were everywhere and out of nowhere, the new NME darlings. This should really
be a good thing, new rock music gets a wider
audience at the drop of a hat. Perhaps the NME
should be applauded for successfully injecting
a strong business ethic into the UK new music
scene?
In 2006, the NME was awarded ‘Best
Brand’ at the Brit Awards and was no doubt
celebrated as a major triumph. For me, all this
meant was the NME were now certified big
business. But at what cost? Has the quality of
music fallen to wave after wave of successful
marketing campaigns crafted to indoctrinate
their brand into the youth of today? From what I can see, the UK music market
has rapidly become (dare I say) a capitalist
system with nearly every aspect of the media
cornered by the NME brand. Music television,
radio, even the live scene to an extent, the
tricks are everywhere. It doesn’t take a genius
to see the NME, MTV2 and Radio One all flying
the same mutual appreciation flag. It’s anything
but a coincidence, the selective bubble of
talent, the synchronised hyping. Don’t get me
wrong, I’m not writing that all good talent is
being completely ignored, more that real talent
can now only be seen within a brand of the UK
media’s own creation. The creativity and originality of new music distribution can therefore
only be as creative and original as the media
will allow it to be. A force infective enough to
perhaps slow down any talent emerging in this
country that chooses to create outside of the
current trend. Surely this is the real indie rock,
the values that the NME built up its name from.
In my head I see Simon Cowell strolling
into the NME offices and picking up conversation with the NME editor, Connor McNicholas…
Simon: “You were right Connor, manufactured pop is a dead horse. I’ve flogged
everything onto Louie. We need ideas, or better
yet something that innovates itself, something
we can mount when things get moving if you’re
with me?”
Connor: “Hmmm, well I’ve got this Ricky
Wilson guy who seems pretty malleable… says
he wants to be an indie rock star… are you
thinking what I’m thinking…”.
You are told that this is the new music,
the music of a generation and so Joe Public
will always want to feel a part of this, as if its
history in the making. Fast-forward 20 years
(presuming we’re not all heads or alien slaves)
and all but the morsels of musical talent that
were allowed through will be forgotten, that is
if the broadcasting networks aren’t still captive
under the same scrutiny. In which case we will
no doubt be fed that the Libertines were beyond a shadow of a doubt the most important
rock band of the 00’s, and that Carl Barat was
our indie generation’s spokesperson.
Of course culturally speaking, this probably is history in the making, and that is the
saddest thing, that a made up parody genre
like Nu-Rave will be used to define the musical
happenings of my early 20’s. Now I know how
those indie kids of the 80’s must have felt
about the New Romantics, the Synth Pomping.
Will this decade go down as the time that we
forgot about the music, or the DIY generation
that it should have been? MySpace Music had
geeek
35
given us the tools to obliterate the mainstream
music industry once and for all, but will people
actively utilise these tools to seek the new music or do we enjoy the manufactured format in
which we are served our entertainment? Surely
the modern worker hasn’t the time to search
for new and exciting music, it makes sense
to pick from the media menu placed in front
of you. Thankfully there’ll always be an infinite
troupe of online mp3 hoarders to appease collectors and musical junkies, but surely its only
a matter of time before the industry move in on
this modern DIY ethic. Whether they will choose
to compromise and listen or not is yet to be
decided.
One thing I do know for sure, if you
bother to look past these brands and marketing schemes, you’ll no doubt be aware of the
vastness of new music that is actually available
today (whether terrible or genius). You’ll also be
aware that the NME or MTV2 or even Radio One
rarely scratches the surface. You can sometimes see it in Zane Lowe’s eyes, he knows
there’s better music out there but he can’t for
the life of him stop kissing artist arse. A bit like
a parasite feeding off of these bands, happily
blinded by his desire to be one of them and all
the while praising everything he receives as not
to piss off any possible hosts to suckle from…
Ok so maybe that was a bit harsh; after
all he seems like a really nice bloke. But I feel
justified in knowing that he is the one that could
make the difference; he has his own shows on
both Radio One and MTV2 that garner a great
deal of influence amongst UK music fans.
Since the gosh darn tragic departure of John
Peel (RIP), Radio One has gone to pot and its
alternative rock music selection has become
little more than another NME playlist. Sure they
talk about ‘new exiting rock music’ but they
36
always give us the same recycled shit, tried
and tested; Post Libertines, Streets-esque or
Futurehead copycats ripping B-sides from the
post-punk era trashcan. Where are the John
Peel’s out there willing to fight for the right
for decent music? His passion and quest for
originality is sorely missed.
So, marketing and music go hand in hand,
AND HERE IS YOUR HOST
the message needs to be spread blah blah.
But how can I find closure in such a twisted
paradox? Are genre names simply a method
of pigeonholing a demographic, or a means of
recognising and identifying with an emerging
culture?
The NME is a prime example of the brand
becoming bigger than the artist. It began as a
champion of this new wave of music, but grew
to emerge as a corporate monster with big
business aspirations. Exactly when the publication lost its way is arguable, but it was clear by
the late 90’s of its reliance on scene building
and branding to survive. Rather than looking for
new ways to give the new music to the people,
they sought success in business strategy. After
the whole Blur vs Oasis sensationalism had
cooled off in the mid 90’s the NME found itself
sceneless with nothing substantial to champion. It had two options, the first being to find
good new music, to write about it honestly and
to let the people know what was going on out
there for all to see and hear. And to an extent
this was the road taken.
In July, 1999, the NME placed a relatively
obscure post-rock band, Godspeed You Black
Emperor on its front cover. A bold move that
was unfortunately duped a complete failure
when the sales figures for that edition were
told to be the worst of all time in their history.
Perhaps this was the incident that led the NME
head first down that other route, leeching
from scenes prematurely in order to claim
dominance over them, or even to go as far as
inventing made up genres and manipulating
movements into happening (see Nu Rave).
Unfortunately, the NME is well aware of
what a strong brand and community it has and
the massive amount of control it has over its
readers. But its brand has now even surpassed
its readers and began infecting the source. It
now has the ability to influence bands out there
into knowing the kind of music that will fit into
it. It is a sad, sad time in history when bands
are being formed on the basis of what the
NME ‘wants’ from you (see The Twang). So you
want to be famous in a rock n roll band? Why
not form another spiky, jerky post punk band,
cite Joy Division, put on a stupid voice and talk
a bit ‘street’ and your on the road to an NME
tour slot supporting The Kooks, Kaiser, Killers
etc. Or… How about you try to become the
new Oasis, act a class lower than you are, talk
about pork scratchings more than you should
in your lyrics and act like a bunch of lager louts
on and off stage - either your in the Twang or
supporting them. And what does this leave for
the fans? Gone are all of those wasted years
actually caring about the music, reading about
the craft. Trying to appear talented or celebratory aping is the new talent anyway. Why would
By Adam Carless
you want that artsy bollocks when you get all of
the gossip of HEAT magazine alongside a new
persona that will attract all of the indie / rock /
emo guys and girls.
And eventually (I’m hoping) when your new
scene starts to rot, and the NME inevitably
jumps scene to survive, will they still sound as
good from the other side? When your favourite
band isn’t part of a manufactured collective
or new emerging made up genre will you take
the risk of still liking them? It’s a sad fact that
they can almost get away with anything and
still have a devoted following to follow through.
Capitalising on a completely made up genre
that’s moulding a nu-generation of glow stick
wielding non pill taking confused teenagers is
one thing, but subjecting people to interviews
of the Kaiser Chiefs interviewing Paul McCartney, or believing that Pete Doherty is the 2nd
best rock star ever is just plain wrong.
But the big problem I single out is the
head honcho of the NME, Mr Connor McNicholas and his fix up on coolness. His agenda to
show us that rock n roll is all about being cool
and destructive, and all the serious stuff that
came before the people just don’t wanna read
about (apparently). Its hard not to be mad at
these smug business guys, just because they
can sell a piece of shit to a pre-teen adolescent doesn’t mean their whole attitude all of a
sudden makes sense (see Kilroy). Yeah it can
be about coolness to some degree, but these
bands in the 60s, the original rock stars all had
the music to back themselves up, they created
the goods before burning out, hence they are
so damn cool. I could go on, but Carl Barat
listed as 5th greatest rock star ‘ever’
really seems like a better wrap up than I
could ever dream of writing.
geeek
37
S
S
O
R
C
A
A
lthough I for one wish for the
aforementioned publication to
cease, there are a lot of people out
and music fans against PitchforkMedia. A lot of
the criticisms of the site stem from its “narrow
view of independent music, favouring lo-fi and
there who generally love what these
obscure indie rock”. Now I do genuinely hate
bands do (whilst hating the type of ‘trindies’
what the NME now stands for and you could tar
that the NME spawns). I wondered whether the
Pitchfork with the same brush quite easily. But
term bore similar relevance in the USA. Cl ick
since when did we decree that every Internet
here
I had an inciling, that if you probe for the
music publication must be fair and partial? The
US equivalent the words PitchforkMedia
difference is that they’re not the same thing at
would lead you believe you have found Ameriall; specialising in an consistent ethos is like
ca’s equivalent to the NME. For me, it is not
a real fanzine showing a deep passion for a
quite that simple.
culture or subculture, exactly what indie rock is
It is so easy to hate an Internet music puball about.
lication like Pitchfork on many levels - preten
The origins of Pitchfork come from reviewtiousness, snobbery, championing the obscure
ing indie rock music in its true form, so its no
are but a few of the crimes accused. But (like
surprise that a decent indie rock album gets
with the NME) what if you actually really, really
a favourable review, I for one have come to
like a lot of the music the publication happens
expect this.
to review? What if you can identify with these
You couldn’t say the same for the NME
bands and want that to fly this flag as you walk
circa 2007. The only thing you can trust in is
down the street? Your likely to get classed as a
the over exposure of Pete Doherty and Carl
trindie / hipster idiot - the kind of person that
Barat. Pitchfork (only one example of many)
lists every Pitchfork or NME ‘best of list’ as
backup my point perfectly, that you can build
their favourite new bands of that year without
up a successful music publication through
actually even hearing half of these bands.
staying focused on the music release and
My prime specimen of a band getting
music itself. You are free to encompass bands
entangled in all of this are a psychedelic garage
and artists from any genre there is because
rock band from Atlanta, Georgia known as
as long as it is good music, it fits. You are not
Deerhunter. They are a great band with an
restricted to a limited collection of self hyped
impressive breakthrough album, Cryptograms,
bands of your own creation because you have
a true indie rock release from its creation
a self perpetuating bubble that will always work
through to its original sound. This band seems
better, plain and simple good music. If you apto have become yet another catalyst in the
preciate certain qualities in music you’re bound
works between the world of rock journalists
to see those qualities in other bands regardless
38
THE POND
of genre. Pitchfork are one of many who tapped
into this notion, but at the same time left themselves wide open to criticism with their pretentious review style and scoring system. I could
handle all the crap that came with it, because
for me the site is excellent at collating new
and original quality music. Besides, as a rule a
friend and I would skip the first (and sometimes
second) paragraph of each review, where the
reviewer had a sort of buffer zone to wax their
ego’s before getting down to the actual review.
Critics of Pitchfork have suggested that
albums from certain ‘scenes’ are purposefully
high rated in order for Pitchfork to bolster its
own influence when the music attains popularity. You can’t ignore this, as it is clear how big
of an influence Pitchfork has over the US indie
music scene. Like the NME in the UK, Pitchfork
is thought of as directly responsible for certain
bands sudden rise in notoriety / popularity.
Bands such as the Arcade Fire, Sufjan Stevens,
and most recently, Deerhunter have all seen
album sales go crazy since their positive Pitchfork reviews.
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah member
Lee Sargent has spoken about the impact of
Pitchfork Media on his band: “The thing about a
publication like Pitchfork is that they can decide
when that happens. You know what I mean?
They can say, ‘We’re going to speed up the
process and this is going to happen...now!’ And
it was a kick in the pants for us, because we
lost control of everything.”
What’s interesting is that there are these
two publications (along with many others) that
have the ability to both influence the reader’s
buying preferences, as well as influencing
bands into compromising their sound for a
type of music that a publication happens to be
spotlighting.
My way of coping is never to allow these
publications to become your entire musical
reference point. If you make the effort to seek
out new music off your own back then who
knows what you may find. I for one feel that
there’s something a whole lot more exciting
about discovering something all on your lonesome, something you can discover away from
the politics put upon it by the music industry.
The NME’s stranglehold on the British
media is a complete bastard, but although
bastardly, I would struggle to condemn PitchforkMedia, UNCUT, Magnet and all of the other
publications that care about the music release
itself with the same fate. As far as the future of
indie rock goes, it will in its very nature always
exist beneath the surface, the uncompromising
outsider, a reaction to all that is wrong within
the mainstream music industry.
With the MySpace music generation well
and under way, I hope to see history repeat
itself once again. Just like the rise of lo-fi indie
rock in the early 90’s, out of ashes of the year
punk broke, the MySpace generation epitomizes this same DIY indie ethic. We have been
provided with the global platform, for anyone in
the (online) world to step up and offer a better
solution. I for one have high hopes.
geeek
39
Words
Birthday by Christopher Nosnibor
London Calling by Nourishment Poet
Thats all Folks by Chloe Poems
Potatoes by Seán Dagan Wood
Goff Coff by Paul Neads
Art
Harriet Godden
Elizabeth Young
Laurie Lipton
Ben Thompson
Sara Cullen
Emi Etié
40
Cl ick he re to vis
it
Illustration by Sara Cullen : www.catandfoxadventures.com
geeek
41
Cl ick he re to vis
it
Harriet Godden... is 25, living and working in Manchester She makes and sells hand made quirky toys from old jumpers, curtains,vintage fabrics and any other object she can find. These kind of go hand in hand with
her illustrations. Harriet’s art in her own words... “Realising one of my illustrations as a 3d object is really great, like bringing it to life. I hope to be succesful as a childrens illustrator one day, although i have just started out as
freelance so watch this space.” Harriet is currently part of an exhibition which is touring Europe, it’s called ‘the fabulous couloured pencils of the world, it’s showing in Naples, Italy at the moment. Her other activities include
face painting and teaching art workshops in schools. “I think my idea of success is not in how much work i sell or how much recognition i get as an artist, art is in everything i do andfollowing your instinct is essential to personal
happiness and success, and along the way i’ll spew out a million colourful and humorous creations that will reflect my journey and the changing ways in which experience teaches us to look at things.”
43
L ondon calling’
‘
Outside, Welsh winds stretched the leafy
shadows
and stewed the winter rubble against the
house,
bringing the garden
to a shiver.
by Nourishment Poet - www.myspace.com/nourishmentpoet
In London the smell of the river gave a welcome break from the armpit
fumes of the tube.
A man in an Orange T-shirt
swears loudly at my shoes‘CHRIST IS COMING’
My breathing like a knackered horse
Inside, the pot tickled its lid,
Po
e
o
t
a
t
ch
Our
t he
op
b
p i ng
e li
knif
My
m
nes
er
ot h
and
she
S
oar
dw
o
told
a
’s h
s
s
nd
led
ld
I he
f al
f
l wo
pot
st
m fa
one
t ato
d
th
and
r ish
he
all t
t he
r n,
po
l t he
eI
s ar
eo
pok
ee
he p
el
as w
a
ed
na k
ato
.
eat h
in
and
c
ten t
s
ly
44
’d c
hop
bo
at a
The similar shapes, we have come to welcome.
through the softening shells of
the earth-eggs,
At embankment I stop for water
travelling adrift the wheezes of steam,
She whispers a gentle phrase and I lip-read-
until she’d clap her oven gloves together
‘The war is over in Iraq’ then the laughter-churning waves
prodding their centres with a fork.
l
mel
And now, years later, in a different kitchen,
ut a
ll I w
ear
as l
n i ng
h
of t
e
,
ssi p
n e.
o go
ch
t
s
’d
ami
we
toe
of f
a
d
t
e
n
o
a l d,
m
ep
tell
e th
wo r
he’d
s
leav
d
’d
we
, an
pa n
e
t hen
t he
in th
n
i
ed
re d
r
p
u
p
p
plo
nd
ed a
urn
s
h
c
sud
er
oap
ash
s
w
,
h
d is
la id
ble
The mt h
e ta
r
h
a
t
rd,
w
e n,
boa
i tch
i ng
k
p
e
p
h
o
of t
e ch
f f th
o
g
in
slid
t.
wai
e’d
w
and
She
and my mother’s stories sifted
and get up to peer in at her catch,
hei
en t
h
w
.
ow,
k i ng
as n
co o
r
e
h
a l ls
re c
and
buildings run silent. Standing still
Laughing, an elderly gentleman stroking his wife’s arm with his thumb
,
lean
mp
r da
Shadows of men stand on peaks
bubbling comfortably,
Two joggers practicing Zen flicking sweat soaked arms bands into the river.
t h.
dea
on
nd c
stamping ground in circles,
she sees our basket bulked with spuds.
under Millennium Bridge.
The scream of the Gherkin pointing to the sky
Like those red war heads of the eighties;
I was too young to understand why
The clutter of an unfinished symphony
Sounds like a Billy Bragg song.
And she scoops one,
holding it in front of herself,
Saint Paul is being cleaned
It’s form glazed in the noonday sun.
checking its weight,
Silence at the crypt doorAn American counts euros remarking on entry charges.
recognising it’s skin,
holding it how her brothers would;
feeling the shape of survival.
A red bus follows anotherAnother red bus follows
This beautiful hook of tower blocks and pavement;
Seán Dagan Wood
www. seandaganwood.com
All inside seem lost and alone.
geeek
45
www.myspace.com/elizabeth_young
46
47
Gof fGoff
CofCoff
f
by Paul Neads
skin would often break out in piebald clumps without warning and
he would have to be meticulously cleansed with nail varnish remover.
A tumultuous mixture of hydrogen peroxide, cyclodextrin, ammonium persulfate and phenylenediames--not to mention a bucketful of other unnatural
He’d never had much time for Christian Death, and told her so over pint
of Heiney down The Turk’s.
and unpronounceable chemicals--constantly surged throughout his body. And
‘Deathrock subcultured pants,’ he opined, fiddling with the piercing in his lower lip. ‘It’s Ameri-
the involuntary fumes that he produced had given him a rather nasty cough.
The first time that this had manifested itself was one summer’s day, when they had
can. It’s trite. An’ y’know what that rhymes with.’
been picnicking in a field just north of Yeovil.
Carrie took a slurp on her Scrumpy Jack and played with the straw the barman had kindly
‘Ahhh, look!’ Carrie had said, putting aside her bottle of Merrydown. ‘A cow. How sweeeeet.
given her.
I’ve always wanted to pat one on the nose.’ They had wandered over to it, trying not to disturb
‘Yet you’ve got all their albums,’ she pointed out.
its rumination, which hadn’t proved difficult. She had reached out to give its wet muzzle a stroke
‘Yeah, well, I don’t play ’em much. Certainly not as much as Sex Gang or Skeletal Family.’
when Blix had cleared his throat and asked, ‘Are you sure that it’s safe?’
‘Don’t I effin’ well know it!’ she exclaimed, bitterly. ‘When y’gonna change the tapes in the car?
Not for the cow it had turned out, as through the simple act of clearing his throat Blix had
Ain’t you bored of ’em? I know I am.’
infected it with a hitherto unknown disease.
‘Well, I’m not.’
Within a fortnight, the whole heard had contracted the virus and had to be slaughtered.
‘Jeez, Blix, stop livin’ in the past.’
The first tests, performed in some haste, had irrefutably shown that it was a new outbreak of
‘No. An’ I’m not gonna listen to any of your modern tosh, so don’t even think about sneaking
bTB, and the true cause and identity was never realised. Local farmers had fallen back on old,
any in. You know where you can shove y’r Goteki. Anyway,’ he added, reaching across the table
ingrained reasoning and insisted that badgers were to blame, a rationale handed down through the
for the pistachios, ‘don’t call Patricia a car. She’s a hearse. Spent a lot of time an’ money on ’er, I
ages and one with which they were quite happy.
have.’
Carrie kept quiet. There really wasn’t any point discussing the fact that Patricia was an old
banger--a Vauxhall Viva Estate with a piss-poor black respray and some curtain poles bolted to
the roof--and anyway, her pint was nearly empty.
‘Your round,’ she said. ‘You got enough? I’m not paying again.’
‘Course I’ve got enough. Best make it the last though. Got an early start tomorrow.’
She couldn’t argue with that. They both knew.
Ever since the Krebs Report came out just before Christmas ’97, they had been busy.
God, so busy. It was that line proclaiming that all the evidence, no matter how indirect, pointed to badgers infecting cattle with bovine Tuberculosis that had done it.
They had known then that they had to protect the truth.
In fact, Blix seemed to have a natural empathy with badgers anyway, although
this was a curse he had learned to live with. Perhaps it was something to do
with his hair still being modelled on Dave Vanian’s eighties look: a fetching noir
‘What happens if they find out the truth?’ Blix had asked.
Carrie had thought for a moment.
‘They won’t,’ she determined. ‘And I won’t see any more dear cows slaughtered. Any creature
blessed with a tongue that size should be allowed to live. Though we’ll have to infect the badgers
in order to maintain the deception. The longer they think it’s those stripy bastards, then they
won’t come looking.’
Blix had been distressed by this, as he had nothing personal against badgers, but could not
see another way out without a row. In his opinion, that would be somewhat more distressing since
he never seemed to win one.
Thereafter, they had spent many a day and night trekking through woodland in search of setts.
It was easy to distinguish a badger’s home from, say, a fox’s--you just had to look for the evidence:
the distinct paw prints, claw marks and stray strands of wiry fur around the entrance to a burrow
were easy to recognise. After that, all Blix had to do was stick his head in and cough.
Carrie had decided to term the disease Goff Coff (which she explained was partly in homage
with a bleached white stripe. Carrie had been delighted when the singer had
to DEFRA’s successful Gull Cull, when they had systematically wiped out every species of seabird
chopped it all off and gone a bit rockabilly, as she had always been of the
nesting the UK in order to stop them flying inland and eating the window putty in the Westminster
opinion that one Goth looky-likey never made a band, in actuality, Goth.
area, and partly because it was a bit like “coffin”). Occasionally, on moonlit nights, Blix would find
Blix, however, had annoyingly persisted with the old style. And this was
the problem.
Over the course of the last twenty-five years, so much bleach and
hairdye had seeped into Blix’s scalp and permeated through to become part of his system, that he was a dermatologist’s dream. His
that the badgers actually approached him, espying his hair and innocently assuming that he was
some sort of Über-badger. It didn’t make it any easier though. But what was the alternative? It
was either that or see Goths hunted to extinction.
‘Same again, then?’ he asked.
‘Please. An’ you’d better get some more nuts,’ said Carrie.
geeek
49
emmy étie
is a rock photographer from français who is currently exhibiting her
music shots. She’s been taking photo’s for 10 years and is now featured in several music magazines.
mike hodgkiss
the cramps
david johansen
50
the bellrays
geeek
51
That’s All Folks
in soft shoes
who knows, he might even become the
Hollywood will glamorise the hideous
President.
events surrounding the murder of New
The devil has all the best cartoons.
Orleans. We must not let it. Poor people
“I got this great idea”
mustn’t die so rich people can reap
an exec screams like a trumpet out of time and
awards.
tune
“Los Angeles is engulfed by a fireball, yeah
Towers fall
That’s actually the moon, yeah
planes crash
Set on fire by Iranian missiles”
into a giant eleven
52
splat!
When we forget how to love
water eats the world with rain teeth,
we forget how to live.
the answer my friend?
There’s this leading man
Cash calls
designed to save the city
a billion green dollars
generic
is blowin’ in the wind
his leading lady has to be pretty
pouring down like rain
her name smaller than his
like bombs
pathetic
billowing
he has an apartment in Schwarzenegger’s
confetti for the rich.
shadow.
Sea mauls
Cash calls
world stalls
waters fall
the answer is blowin’
real people die
a jazz trumpeter’s lungs inflated
really real
a response to the verse
not nearly real
elated
not CGI
and that wherever it is chorus
it’s really real poor people
fills every cell of every body,
in this disaster movie,
fated and fatigued.
why?
These people aren’t CGI
See you on the levy
damn!
special effects so vulgar and bright.
CGI people don’t sing the blues,
Water falls
soft shoes shuffle like broken canoes
to remind us that the Old Testament
and tap out silent SOS’s.
hasn’t the monopoly on biblical.
CGI people aren’t bodies
Perhaps disaster’s cyclical.
floating on bad jazz
If only Charlton Heston was really Moses
that’s water distilled from greed
he could turn around the tideand split this
bad jazz
sea of red-bloodied bodiesand return them
is the devil selling his soul to Hollywood
home
to make sure he’s played by Tom Cruise
or perhaps into roses
there’s no place like...
Cha rlie rea lly nailed that Mos
es guy dow n
if only there’d been an eleventh
Commandment
“Thou Sha lt Not Let A City
Drown”.
If only Cha rlto n Hes ton had
bur ned Bush
turned an idiot into bon fire
on “Ma ke America Bet ter Day
”.
It’s a twister Auntie Em, and you
were in my
dream.
The two ‘o’s in Hol lywood
embedded in Beverley Hills
are bog gled and bloa ted
eyes on a mission
not impossible,
in fact high ly probable.
There’s 27 mill ion dollars
to pay Denzel Washing ton
to win an Oscar
it’s showbiz uns toppable,
27 mill ion to play a poor man
who’s got it hard in soft sho
es
per haps rescued by Sta llon
e
in a suppor ting role,
“D’ya thin k Sylvester can sing
the blues?”
I taught I taw a puddy tat.
Heroes make money
heroes make news
heroes are uncomp lica ted
and sim ple.
It’s a sha me Drew Bar rym
ore
had to grow up
she was great in ET
she was great when we all
kneeled
at her Shirley Tem ple
a shin ing exa mple to kids
in America,
and the end of the wor ld
needs a little girl.
Gar y Old man can be the bad
guy
the greedy guy, slight and
English
www.chloepoems.org.uk
a sibulent shadow who doesn’t save
lives.
Denzel’s tears ripple the toxic water
making it drinkable for a while.
Denzel’s tears make the audience smile
and contented,
America cares,
demented.
“We can take what’s toxic in that water
and make it a lesser green-billed dollar”.
Lesser is more.
The audience roars away
as the mojo works to out-voodoo
Independence Day.
Hollywood murdered America in that
karma crash
Apocalypse wow.
Money howls
a coyote caterwauling
roadrunning to chaos
water still falling
the devil has all the best cartoons.
Wasn’t Charlton Heston in Planet Of The
Apes?
He doesn’t just shoot movies
“It’s a mad house, a mad house”.
When we forget how to love
we forget how to live.
Towers fall
heroes call
monsters rule the world
a giant eleven
water falls
eating the world with rain-teeth
America up in smoke
it’s a twister
New Orleans
That’s All Folks!
geeek
53
53
By Christopher Nosnibor
T
he old man knew his hours were numbered. There
had been a time not so long ago when he had tried
to fight it, refused to accept his fate. It seemed so
unfair. He had so much left to give, so much life left to
live. When the propinquity of his life’s conclusion became
tangible, within reach, no longer on the horizon but the
next stop, he had responded with anger; then denial; then
with sadness. He mourned his own passing. These emotions had circulated in almost equal rotation, underpinned
at all times by a stultifying, shuddering undercurrent of
fear. Yes, for years he had known his time was finite, and
precisely how so, but only when the deadline approached
did he truly appreciate its full implications, and did he truly
begin to appreciate life. But the cold hard reality of it was
that time was increasingly short. There was no negotiation.
Time was time, and his time was almost up.
As the realisation hit, the old man began reflecting on
his life: the good times, and the bad. Yes, he had some
happy memories, of holidays, of days out, time spent with
family and friends. Mostly friends. His family had been
rather dysfunctional. He had married – just the once – a
happy marriage, as it remained to this day. In many ways,
this made matters worse: it tortured him so to be parted
from his beautiful, loving wife whom he adored. They had
not begotten children, not least of all because the old man,
54
even when not so old, could not bear the responsibility of
sentencing another person to life. Yes, he had enjoyed many
times, but if his fifty-nine years and 364 days on earth had
taught him anything, it was that life is pain; life is suffering.
And to live now, in the present time, was worse than in the
past, and the future promised only worse as limitations
became greater and more restrictive. Life is short. Of this,
he was all too aware.
He had regrets, too. So many regrets. A great number
of these were born of foolish mistakes – things he’d done,
things he’d said, that he should not have done or said.
These things made him cringe with embarrassment. The
folly of youth! Going off the rails in his early teens, all those
petty thefts, those pathetic fistfights, this and that, this and
that, this and that.... the death of his brother in a drunken
car accident had put a halt on such freewheeling idiocy.
It hadn’t been his doing, he hadn’t even been involved in
the accident that had resulted in Ethan’s death, but even
through his solvent haze, the young man saw how easily he
could end up going too far. He didn’t want to be the one responsible for the death of someone else’s brother either. Life’s
short: don’t make a mess of it.
At this point, stricken with grief and remorse for the
suffering his own wayward behaviour had caused his nowbereaved parents – and burdened with the responsibility
of being their sole surviving offspring, he had gone inside
himself, got straightened up and knuckled down to study
and living sensibly. He found a strange solace in literature,
with existentialist works like The Outsider proving particularly resonant with his psychology.
His brother’s death had been a terrible tragedy. Ethan
had been hard-working, with a love of life. the same was
true of many seventeen year olds, but Ethan was the only
one he knew personally who had had his life snatched from
him so prematurely. A year older than he, Ethan had been
someone he looked up to and envied feeling he could never
be his equal in terms of sporting, musical or academic prowess. But in his brother’s absence he had felt it his responsibility to step into his shoes, however inadequately equipped
he was to fill them.
www.myspace.com/christophernosnibor
geeek
55
Despite the devastation and weight of his brother’s
being deprived of his life’s opportunity to fulfil his enormous potential through his premature and utterly needless
death, the young man had still considered the world to be
a domain best suited for inhabitation by the young, as no
place for the old or infirm. It’s a hard-knock life – dog eat
dog, every man for himself, hunt or be hunted, eat or be
eaten, kill or be killed, there’s no room for the weak. Evolution: the survival of the fittest.
He ploughed his way through Nietzsche, and also reams of
dystopian classic, cultivating his own mildly jaundiced, misanthropic politics through his reading.
Life was unfair. It’s a bitch, and then you die.
He never expected those futuristic dystopias to become
the reality. He never expected to live long, either. Now he
would not have the opportunity.
- Does it have to be this way? he had pleaded.
- Of course, they had replied.
- I know how I used to think, but I was young and naive,
impetuous, foolish, there was so much I didn’t know about
life, about the merits of experience...
- There is no room, resources are limited and becoming increasingly more so. We cannot make exceptions.
You know this, they said sternly, cold and clinical. They
may as well have been machines. Maybe they were, or at
least possessed of mechanical implants controlling their
thoughts and movements. How else could they show so
little compassion, empathy, humanity?
He had sobbed and begged, but to no avail.
The old man sat in his chair and considered the way in
which he had felt his life being stolen away as the young
and up and coming usurped him. He had first started
noticing this shift at rock gigs. He had started going to see
bands when fourteen or fifteen and was often scared of
being stopped and asked for ID. As he advanced through
his twenties and edged into his thirties, he began to feel
very fucking old, wondering if most of the others in the
audience were old enough to be out without their parents
and how they had got through without being asked for ID.
Where would it end? Not in the pubs, surely, where the
56
barmen didn’t look old enough to drink. And so time was
passing, that much was clear.
Now there was nothing to look forward to but a knock on
the door... and there it was.
- Hurry up please, it’s time.
No reincarnation or replacement of the kind of which
Houellebecq wrote in The Possibility of an Island awaited
him. The old man had no legacy of any sort. He had not
shone in any field, had done nothing exceptional and with no
genetic lineage to take his space, the end truly was the end.
And now there was nothing but the end ahead, and it was
minutes away. They had come for him.
- Hurry up please, it’s time.
He looked around his home for what would be the last
time. The things around him were as familiar as ever, but
looked somehow different. They came in silently to take
him away. He did not hear the door open, but suddenly they
were all around him, but he could not see their faces. Who
they were precisely he was unable to ascertain. They moved
swiftly and silently like automatons.
- Hurry up please, it’s time.
Panic began to rise in the old man. Where was his wife?
How had his life passed him by so quickly? It was as though
he had gone to sleep at thirty and then awoken in his sixties.
He remembered nothing of the journey, but here he was
in a sterile room. The floor was cold, the walls were as
featureless as his masters. It was indeed time and he felt
panic and disappointment as he realised his end would be
a horrible cliché, but he had no choice as he began to walk
toward the light....
Sweat ran down his temples and he was shaking, his
heart racing. Robert felt horribly disorientated, dizzy, his
mouth as dry as his torso was drenched. Where was he?
How was he here? Struggling to regain his breath, he tried to
focus his eyes. Checked the bedside clock. Flipped on the
bedside lamp. He was alive! Reorienting himself, he felt relief flood through him. Tomorrow
was his birthday. His thirtieth.
Tomorrow would be the first day of the rest of
his life.
www.myspace.com/christophernosnibor
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57
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