Spring 2015 copy

S.A.F.E. House Sun
Message from the Director
Page 1
Message from the
Director
Page 2
How to Help...
Page 3
How to Help..
Page 4
What’s Going On Free Events in the
Community
Page 5
Save the Date
Page 6
Wish List
Page 7
Contributor’s Corner
Page 8
Contact Information
Nonviolence is a
powerful and just
weapon, which cuts
without wounding
and ennobles the
man who wields it.
It is a sword that
heals. Martin Luther King,
Jr.
Spring 2015
The Cost of Domestic Violence
Prior to the mid-1970’s domestic violence was seen as a “family problem”.
There were no laws in any state that recognized physical abuse as criminal
behavior. The first focus in pioneering efforts against domestic violence was to
advocate and educate lawmakers, law enforcement and the judicial system
and to help them recognize that a marriage license should not be a license to
assault your spouse. Slowly, laws were enacted that acknowledged this
position. Domestic violence was no longer a “family matter” it was a criminal
issue – a problem for law enforcement and the courts to deal with.
Today the paradigm has shifted again. And domestic violence is seen as a
social, business health and community problem. Why? Because we are
surrounded by it on every side: one in four women will be physically assaulted
by their partner; it is the leading cause of injury to women between 18-44; one
in every three homicide victims were killed by their partner. Women who have
been battered experience higher rates of chronic disease – they are 70% more
likely to have heart disease and 80% more likely to have a stroke. Children
who grow up in violent homes have a higher incidence of mental health
problems and alcohol and drug use problems. They drop out of school more
frequently and earlier than children in non-violent homes. A 2005 DOJ study
concluded that even if your child lives in a non-violent home their academic
progress will be negatively affected by simply being in the same classroom as
a child living in violence. Children living in violence take up more of a teacher’s
time since the teacher may need to spend more time with the child trying to
get them caught up academically or may need to respond to the child’s
behavioral problems more often. Or both.
The enormous human costs of domestic violence are matched by the dollar
costs of domestic violence. 25% of women who work outside the home say
that their productivity has been affected by domestic violence. 8 million paid
work days ($2.5 billion dollars) are lost because of domestic violence and
higher medical costs for survivors of violence add another $5.8 billion to that
total.
We all have a role too play in ending violence in our community. If you
suspect that some you know maybe - or is- being abused speak up about it.
Tell her you are sorry these things are happening to her and let her know help
is available. Leave the door open. She may not ask for help now but may need
help in the future. Call law enforcement if you see or hear what you believe is
domestic violence. Not making the call allows the violence to continue. In the
end, as a community, we will get what we settle for. Let’s not settle for allowing
the violence to continue. The price is simply too high.
Michele Fuller, LISW
Executive Director
How can you help a friend or family member?
♥ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THEY ARE IN A VERY DIFFICULT AND SCARY SITUATION, BE
SUPPORTIVE AND LISTEN.
Let them know that the abuse is not their fault. Reassure them that they are not alone and that
there is help and support out there. It may be difficult for them to talk about the abuse. Let them
know that you are available to help whenever they may need it. What they need most is someone
who will believe and listen.
♥BE NON-JUDGMENTAL.
Respect your friend or family member’s decisions. There are many reasons why victims stay in
abusive relationships. They may leave and return to the relationship many times. Do not criticize
their decisions or try to guilt them. They will need your support even more during those times.
♥IF THEY END THE RELATIONSHIP, CONTINUE TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF THEM.
Even though the relationship was abusive, your friend or family member may still feel sad and
lonely once it is over. They will need time to mourn the loss of the relationship and will especially
need your support at that time.
♥ENCOURAGE THEM TO PARTICIPATE IN ACTIVITIES OUTSIDE OF THE RELATIONSHIP
WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY.
Support is critical and the more they feel supported by people who care for them, the easier it will
be for them to take the steps necessary to get and stay safe away from their abusive partner.
Remember that you can call the hotline to find local support groups and information on staying
safe.
♥HELP THEM DEVELOP A SAFETY PLAN.
Check out our information on creating a safety plan for wherever they are in their relationship —
whether they’re choosing to stay, preparing to leave, or have already left.
♥ENCOURAGE THEM TO TALK TO PEOPLE WHO CAN PROVIDE HELP AND GUIDANCE.
Find a local domestic violence agency that provides counseling or support groups. Call us at
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) to get a referral to one of these programs near you. Offer to go with
them. If they have to go to the police, court or lawyer’s office, offer to go along for moral support.
♥REMEMBER THAT YOU CANNOT “RESCUE” THEM.
Although it is difficult to see someone you care about get hurt, ultimately they are the one who has
to make the decisions about what they want to do. It’s important for you to support them no matter
what they decide, and help them find a way to safety and peace.
thehotline.org
Do
• ask if something is wrong
• express concern
• offer help
• support his or her decisions
• say I’m afraid for your safety
• say I care about you, and I know how it is
hard to talk about this
• say it will only get worse
• say I can give you a number to call for
help and advice
• say we’re here for you when you are
ready to when you are able to leave
• say you deserve better than this Also DO:
Don’t • wait for him or her to come to you
• judge or blame
• pressure him or her
• give advice
• place conditions on your support
• say why don’t you just leave?
• say why did you return to your partner?
• say what did you do to provoke your partner?
• say why did you wait so long to tell someone?
Adapted from NYS office for the Prevention of
Domestic Violence
Talk to the person in private and let him or her know that you’re concerned.
Point out the things you’ve noticed that make you worried.
Tell the person that you’re there, whenever he or she feels ready to talk.
Reassure the person that you’ll keep whatever is said between the two of you, and let him or her
know that you’ll help in any way you can.
Remember, abusers are very good at controlling and manipulating their victims. People who
have been emotionally abused or battered are depressed, drained, scared, ashamed, and
confused. They need help to get out, yet they’ve often been isolated from their family and friends.
By picking up on the warning signs and offering support, you can help them escape an abusive
situation and begin healing.
thehotline.org
Local Resources:
S.A.F.E. House: 505-247-4219 or 1800-772-2645
Agora Crisis Line
277-3013Law
Law Access New Mexico (Legal Help Line)
Albuquerque Rescue Mission
346-4673 or 924-1311
998-4529 or 1-800-340-9771
APD (non-emergency)
242-2677Legal Aid
243-7871
Barrett House
243-4887MATTS
243-4887
MATTS
468-1555
Catholic Charities
247-0442National
National DV Hotline
CYFD
841-6100 or 1800-797-3260Rape
1800-797-3260 Rape Crisis Center
Domestic Violence Resources
DVLR
884-1241
243-4300 or 1-877-974-3400
724-4615
S.A.N.E. (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner)
884-7263
246-8972Spanish
Spanish Speaking Suicide Hotline
Evolution Group
242-6988St.
St. Martin’s
896-4869 or 1-800-526-7157St.
1-800-526-7157 St. Vincent de Paul
Health Care for the Homeless
266-7711
Rapid Re-housing (Catholic Charities)
Enlace Communitario
Haven House
1-800-799-7233
766-5197 UNM Mental Health
H.E.L.P NM
265-3714
Valencia Shelter
Joy Junction
877-6967
Victim’s Assistance
1-800-784-2432
766-6876
242-2989 or 877-2245
272-1700
864-1383
768-2104
What’s Going On
Here are a few free events and activities happening in Albuquerque.
Lunar Monday
When: April 27, 2015 9:30pm
Where NM Museum of Natural
History, 1801 Mountain RD. NW
Description: View the moon up
close through our observatory
telescope. Learn about it’s
features, history, and future of its
exploration. FREE!
The Spring Thing, Free Concert
When: April 26, 2015 at 2:00pm
Where: Congregation Albert
3800 Louisiana Blvd. NE
Description: Free Concert
Model Boat Regata
When: April 25 &26, 2015
9am - 2pm
Where: Tingley Beach
Description: Come and watch
model boat enthusiasts race to
win! Pack a picnic and enjoy the
beautiful April weather. FREE!
Free Entrance to ABQ
Museums!
-National Hispanic Cultural
Center, 1701 4th Street NW
505-246-2261: Free every
Sunday!
-Albuquerque Museum of Art
and History, 2000 Mountain
Rd. NW
505-842-0111: Free every
Sunday 9am to 1pm & First
Wednesday of
each month from 9am to
5pm.
Art in the Afternoon: Marietta Jazz: Join us for live music, food and Art in the
Afternoon!
When: Apr 25, 2015, 2:00pm to 5:00pm
Where: Albuquerque Museum of Art & History, 2000 Mountain NW
505-243-7255: Enjoy live music, food and drink specials at Slate at the Museum,
and great shopping at Art in the Afternoon! This week's live entertainment is
Marietta Jazz! A seasoned jazz singer with years on the New York scene, Marietta
Benevento offers smooth, playful takes on mainstream jazz standards and freshsounding, intimate stylings of the American songbook. A Berklee alum, she was
mentored by the great jazz vocalists Sheila Jordan and Anne Marie Moss, and also
undertook classical studies and performed in major NYC venues. Marietta swings
and bops with energy, moves easily through bossas, delivers ballads with depth,
puts heart into lyrics, light or loving
A Night in the 40's: Big Band Swing: New Mexico Veterans' Memorial presents
an evening of unforgettable swing!
When: Apr 25, 2015: 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm
Where: New Mexico Veterans' Memorial Visitors Center
1100 Louisiana Blvd SE, Albuquerque, NM 87108
505-256-2042: The New Mexico Veterans' Memorial presents an evening of
live big band swing! With featured performers, The American Legion Band and
The Dukes of Albuquerque, you'll find it hard to believe you're not out for a
swingin' night in the 1940s. Big Band Swing will take place at the New Mexico
Veterans' Memorial Visitors Center on the last Saturday of each month. Bring a
dance partner and get ready for some fun! Price: Free
Save The Date!
If you cannot attend the event but would still like to help make a difference, below is our wish
list. When our residents come into shelter, most come in with nothing more than the clothes
they have on and we try to help them with their basic needs. Your donations help us make
that possible. Thank you for your support!
CONTRIBUTOR’S CORNER
The generous contributions of the following individuals and businesses are what help keep
our services available to victims of intimate partner domestic violence. We want to say a big
heart felt THANK YOU for your donations. Your donations throughout the year help provide
safe housing, meals and snacks, support groups, individual counseling, toiletries, linens,
transportation, birthday cakes and gifts for the children, diapers, and clothing for our
residents. Without our funders and contributors, we would not be able to do the work we do.
S.A.F.E. House
P.O. Box 25363
Albuquerque, NM 87125
If you would rather receive our
newsletter via email instead of
having a hard copy mailed to
you, please reply to
Phone: (505) 247-4219
Fax:
(505) 224-9695
24-Hour Crisis Hotline: 1-800-773-3645
S
A
F
E
Yes, I am ready to help provide safety and support
for survivors of domestic violence and their children
in our community.
I want to be a part of S.A.F.E. House’s mission to
break the cycle of violence in New Mexico.
H
O
U
kbegaye@safehousenm.org
S
E
S
U
N
Board of Directors
Officers:
I would like to make a donation of:
$1,000
$750
$ 500
$250
$75
$50
Mike Zambrano, President
Diahndra Grill, Vice President
Dylan Shaw, Treasurer
Cheryl Strotz, Secretary
Other: $_______________________________
Your donation can be made by:
Enclosing a check (made payable to S.A.F.E.
House) to P.O. Box 25363
Albuquerque, NM 87125
OR, by going to our website at
www.safehousenm.org and making a secure,
on-line donation.
The return on your investment will be a healthier,
safer community.
Members:
Sue Chambers
Eric Jordan
Stephanie McAllister
Kathy Preonas