Prolonging the life of your diamond ring | T2 Prolonging the life of

Transcription

Prolonging the life of
your diamond ring | T2
Registries can help you
plan a happy home | T9
Findlay family plans
back-to-back weddings | T10
T2
W EDDING SHOWCASE
THE COURIER
FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2013
Regular maintenance and cleaning will help prolong the life of your diamond ring
By JEANNIE WILEY WOLF
Staff Writer
He popped the question and now
you can’t stop looking at the beautiful new sparkle on your left hand. But
what happens when that shine just
isn’t as brilliant as it once was?
“So many people, the first thing
they do is they want to grab the ring
and touch it, and obviously your hands
have grease on them with lotions” and
other substances, said Scott Andrus,
owner of Andrus Fine Diamonds.
“The more you touch your diamonds, the more grease they’re going
to have on them, so the duller the
stone is going to look,” he said. “You
lose that sparkle.”
Like most natural materials, the
stones and metals that comprise your
ring are susceptible to damage such
as discoloration, filmy build-ups and
scratches. But whether you’ve had
your ring for a week or a decade, there
are some simple things you can do to
keep it in like-new condition.
Handling
You should always pick up an
engagement ring by its band, not by
the diamond. Not only will this prevent natural greases from your hands
building up around the stone’s setting,
it also helps keep the diamond’s setting secure over time.
Metals
As most engagement rings are
made from a precious metal such as
gold or platinum, they will scratch
over time, even if you’re very careful. These micro-scratches don’t get
noticed right away, but over time they
build up and create a dull effect on
the surface.
“Gold in its natural sense is yellow
and it’s very soft, so they add other
metals with it to make it hard. That’s
what the karat gold is,” said Chris
Hingson, sales specialist at Michael
Eller Diamonds.
Gold is often designated a karat
weight, such as 10K, 14K or 18K. This
indicates the purity level of the gold
so 24K gold is pure gold while 14K is
58.5 percent pure. Pure gold can be
made into 14K gold by mixing it or
creating an alloy with other metals
such as copper, nickel and zinc.
To make white gold, silver-colored
metals are added to “bleach the gold
out,” said Hingson.
“You still have a little bit of a yellow
tint to it so they put a coating, a plating that goes over the top of white
raNDY rOBertS / the Courier
JEWELER SCOTT ANDRUS checks the prongs on a diamond ring. Prongs can become weakened by bumps, scratches and exposure to chemicals, so it’s
a good idea to have them checked every six months or so. By regularly checking and cleaning your diamond ring, you can keep it beautiful for many years
to come.
gold. It’s called rhodium,” he said.
“It’s not a metal that you can actually make a solid ring out of. It’s not a
metal that’s malleable, but it does very
well for plating.”
In time the plating wears off and
the yellow cast returns, he said.
“But your ring can be polished and
refinished and that rhodium finish put
back on it. And that’s what gives it
that new shine again,” he said.
Women’s rings are usually made
from gold, white gold or platinum.
Platinum is a very soft metal, but
it’s very durable, said Hingson.
“It has a lot of give to it,” he said.
“When you actually scratch platinum,
you just kind of push the metal to the
side. It still stays all intact.”
When you scratch gold, you’re
actually taking small pieces of the
gold away, he explained, “so you thin
the prongs down faster because you’re
taking little bits of gold off every time
you rub against something.”
Palladium, a member of the platinum family, is sometimes used for
men’s wedding bands, Hingson said.
“They’re a little less expensive and
they never have to be refinished like a
white gold ring. It’s a pure white metal
through and through,” he said.
Rings can be polished periodically
to remove scratches, Andrus added.
“A reputable jeweler can polish
your rings for you and make sure they
look as beautiful as possible,” he said.
Protection
Over the course of the day there
are many opportunities for getting
your engagement ring dirty. Sub-
stances likely to accumulate on and
around your diamond engagement
ring setting include shampoo, sunscreen, makeup, flour, soap and hair
spray. Taking your ring off before you
work with greasy or dirty substances
will ensure that your engagement ring
stays looking clean for longer.
“You want your ring to be pretty.
You want it to look as much like it did
when it left the jewelry store,” said
Andrus.
See SPARkLE, Page t3
W EDDING SHOWCASE
THE COURIER
FRIday, aPRIL 5, 2013
Sparkle
Continued from page T2
“So when you’re going to do dishes,
take it off and put it in a safe place, not
on the sink counter where it’s going to
fall into the garbage disposal,” he said.
“Next thing you know, the garbage
disposal is turned on and you have
your diamond ring getting shattered
in there.”
Hingson said wearing a diamond
ring while doing dishes will also thin
the gold prongs more quickly.
“When you clean the inside of a
glass, your prongs rub against the
glass and it’s thinning them out,”
he said. “Usually you can see when
people do that because it’s the same
side of the prongs that are always getting worn the most.”
andrus said certain occupations
are especially hard on rings.
“accountants are some of the hardest people on rings,” he said. “you
always deal with paper, and it’s like a
fine, high grit sandpaper. and paper,
if you rub it enough, it’s going to take
(gold off) your prongs, little by little,”
he said.
Hairdressers and nurses can also
have problems with their jewelry, said
Hingson.
Hairdressers come in contact with
chemicals, and nurses are constantly
putting on and taking off latex gloves
which can thin the prongs.
“Then you’ve got the powders
and stuff that are in the gloves. That
powder gets caked up under there,”
he said.
Soaking
Most jewelers will clean your rings
free of charge, so take advantage of
this courtesy. If you don’t have time
to get to the jewelry store, there are a
few ways to clean your ring at home.
If you simply want to give your
diamond ring a quick clean, the best
thing to do is to soak it in a mix of
ammonia and water, or an ammoniabased household cleaner like window
cleaner for about thirty minutes.
Then rinse with warm water and
then wipe with a soft, lint-free cloth.
Toothpaste has long been touted
as an inexpensive ring cleaner, but
andrus and Hingson both advised
against its use.
“Toothpaste has abrasives in it so
now all of a sudden your metal is looking a little duller, and that’s because of
the abrasives in the toothpaste is putting little fine scratches in it,” Hingson
said. “Scratches fill with dirt, and it’s
harder to keep it clean, and the metal
looks dingy.”
andrus said residue from the
toothpaste can harden in the cracks
and crevices of the ring.
“I’ve had some horror stories. I’ve
had to let rings soak in acid ... just to
try and get the toothpaste off because
it almost forms like a concrete bond.
So toothpaste isn’t the way to go,” he
said.
Chemicals
Likewise, common household
chemicals have the potential to cause
lasting damage to a gold engagement
ring.
Bleach should definitely be
avoided, Hingson said.
“Bleach will actually deteriorate
and separate the gold from the alloys,”
he said. “If you left a 14K ring in a cup
of Clorox bleach over night, it would
be in pieces the next day.”
It won’t hurt a ring made with
platinum, however, he said.
Chlorine bleach which is used to
keep swimming pools and hot tubs
bacteria-free can also affect gold jewelry.
“The more you wear your jewelry
in it, the chlorine is going to attack
the weakest spot like where a prong
is folded over,” Hingson said. “and it’s
going to crack through there in time.”
a ring that has been sized is also
susceptible to problems when exposed
to chlorine.
“If you had your ring sized and
there’s a sizing seam, it will eat
through the solder first. So your ring
may crack because of the chlorine.
That’s the first place it will go,” he
said.
But it doesn’t happen immediately.
“It’s just not occasionally swimming. It’s going to have to be over time
it will become brittle,” said andrus.
“But if you’re one of those people that
sit in the hot tub every single night
for two hours, you might want to take
your rings off.”
Mercury should also be avoided.
“If somebody breaks a thermometer and gets mercury on their ring, it
T3
will actually keep eating through the
gold and make it really porous ... so
you’ve got to get that mercury cleaned
off it immediately,” Hingson said.
Mercury can’t be rinsed off a ring;
the ring has to be polished. The polishing wheels are then thrown away
because they can contaminate other
jewelry, he noted.
It just takes some common sense
to keep your rings in good condition,
said andrus.
“Stay away from chlorine and
bleach and harsh chemicals,” he said.
“Something that you don’t want to
leave on your skin for a long time,
why put your ring in it?”
If there’s even a question as to
whether a ring should be exposed to
any chemical substance, it’s probably
best to err on the safe side and take
your rings off, andrus said.
Storage
When not wearing your diamond
ring, put it back in the box it came in
or in a soft fabric pouch or jewelry
box. don’t store diamond jewelry
next to other jewelry pieces as this
can cause scratches.
Chipping
although diamonds are one of the
hardest substances known to man, it’s
a myth that they’re immune to chipping and scratching. So it’s important
to take care when doing manual work
because you may scratch other items,
chip your diamond ring or loosen the
ring’s setting.
“a lot of times if you hit a diamond
just right you can break it or chip it,”
said Hingson.
Two diamond rings together
should also be avoided because they
can scratch and wear down the other’s
prongs faster.
“Unless you have rings soldered
together to keep them from rubbing, don’t put two diamond rings up
against each other,” he said.
Insurance
It’s important to have insurance on
your ring, just in case, said Hingson.
“Typically the diamond is the most
expensive part of the engagement
ring, so I suggest insuring it,” he said.
“If it’s a ring with a value of $1,000 or
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T4
W EDDING SHOWCASE
Sparkle
Expert check-up
more, get insurance on it. If it’s under
$1,000, you’ve got to figure most homeowners insurance will cover a certain
amount of that.”
diamond settings may loosen
over time. Rings should be checked
periodically for any manufacturing
defects, warped prongs and other
problems that could make the setting
less secure.
Many jewelers will automatically
do this when cleaning rings.
If you don’t have your ring professionally cleaned on a regular basis,
have a jeweler inspect the setting
every three or four months. a jeweler
can tell you when the prongs are getting weak and need attention.
Wolf: 419-427-8419,
jeanniewolf@thecourier.com
The unconquerable diamond
Stone is symbolic in
many ways, mostly
as a token of love
For centuries, diamonds have been
regarded as magical, beautiful, mysterious and powerful. They have been
sought after, fought over and even
worshipped. diamonds are associated
with wealth, achievement, status and
love. Consequently, people buy diamonds for all of these reasons, but the
single greatest reason is as a token of
love, according to Ruth Batson, chief
executive officer of the american Gem
Society.
The word diamond comes from the
Greek word adamas, meaning unconquerable. References to diamonds are
found in historical chronicles and literature going back to the early days
of recorded history. Some of the legends surrounding alexander the Great
mention diamonds, Bateson said.
Pliny the Elder, a Roman author
who lived and worked in the first century a.d., wrote about the hardness of
diamonds. He also mentioned the high
value placed on diamonds, even before
cutting methods brought out the truly
spectacular beauty of the gem.
Much of the early history of diamonds is confined to the Far East,
particularly India. diamonds were
found there in rivers and streams,
and simple mining was possible for
hundreds of years.
lthough dia
although
diamonds were
immediately
recognized
for their
beauty
and value,
there were
barely enough of
them to meet the
needs of royalty and
the wealthy of Europe.
Common people could
neither afford diamonds nor
acquire them. This began the
association of diamonds with
wealth and power, Bateson said.
In the fifteenth century, diamonds
became the symbol of romance.
archduke Maximilian of austria
gave a ring set with a diamond to his
intended bride, Mary of Burgundy.
Since then, diamonds have grown
in symbolism to the importance seen
today — it has become a tradition to
mark engagements, marriages and
anniversaries with a diamond, said
Bateson. This custom is prevalent
throughout the United States, much
of Western Europe, Japan and China.
The tradition of wearing engagement and wedding rings on the fourth
finger of the left hand
dates from the time
when people
believed that
a vein led
directly
f rom t he
left hand to
the heart, she
said. Wearing a
ring here signifies
enduring love.
The individual most
responsible for bringing
the diamond trade to Europe
was Jean Baptiste Tavernier,
a French jeweler sometimes
referred to as the Marco Polo of
the diamond trade. In the seventeenth
century, Tavernier made six trips
to Persia and India, where he dealt
mostly with kings and princes, trading
diamonds and other precious gems,
said Bateson.
Source:
The American Gem Society
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Let The Courier’s wedding show help you plan your wedding
From tent rentals to wedding planners, you can visit with just about any
vendor you need to help you plan your
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Wedding Showcase. The show will
be presented from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.
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advance ticket sales are $5 and are
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be $7 at the door. a diamond Bridal
Special, which includes a bride T-shirt
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Be sure to visit The Courier’s new
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Special features during the showcase will be a tuxedo fashion show and
demonstrations on the newest bridal
trends.
One of the newer trends is the
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near-instant photos that also supply
reception entertainment. Picture your
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will provide photographers who take
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ceremony. When guests arrive at the
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Nancy Wilder of Findlay, owner of
Picture your Events, said additional
photos are taken during the reception
and added to the slide show. Throughout the reception, guests can also
pose for photos against a backdrop,
either in serious or silly ways, with
whimsical props provided if desired.
Once the photo is taken, Wilder said,
it takes seven seconds to print out a
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the guest as a wedding favor. These
photos, too, go into the slide show.
Guests are given a business card
with a website address, where they
can see and download the photos.
There is no charge to the guest; the
downloads are included in the cost of
services, which, Wilder said, are in
the range of $2,500, less expensive
than some traditional photographers.
The bride and groom also receive an
engraved memory book of all the
photos taken during the wedding.
Engagement photos are also included,
and there is no limit to the number of
photos taken the day of the wedding.
Cupcakes have been a popular
dessert option at wedding receptions
for some time, but Carolyn Pruden,
owner of Elegant Cakes in Grover
Hill, said she is not getting as many
requests for cupcakes as she used to.
Overall, she has noticed that couples
are hosting smaller, less expensive
weddings and ordering smaller cakes.
Pruden said she recommends
couples order several small cakes in
different flavors, so guests can try all
the flavors.
“It’s more like a dessert bar,” she
said.
Couples still want elegance when
ordering their cakes, Pruden said.
One of the most popular cake decors
now are “bling” cakes, which are decorated with ribbon studded artificial
diamonds. Edible diamonds are also
available.
Pruden said she does many outdoor weddings. She has special preserved trees, which she decorates
with flowers and greenery, that are
used to display cakes. One tree holds
three cakes and another holds six.
This has been a very popular option
for couples, she said.
One of the most fun aspects of a
wedding is being in a wedding party
and riding in a limousine to the ceremony and reception. Jerry Stallings,
owner of J & J Limo, said there are
not really any new trends in the limousine business, but he continues to
be surprised at the locations couples
ask to be taken to for wedding photos.
Stallings said he is frequently
asked to go to cemeteries, where
photos are taken at the grave site of a
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T6
W EDDING SHOWCASE
parent or grandparent. “Pub crawls,”
where the bridal party visits a bar or
two before going to the reception, are
also popular, he said.
“There’s no two weddings alike,”
Stallings said, but the wedding party
almost always finds a way to have a
good time.
Vendors featured at the show are:
• a-1 Tent Rentals
• alexandria’s (hall rental)
• american Commodore Tuxedo
• amigo’s Catering
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• BioLife Plasma Services
• Blissful Honeymoons & destination Weddings
• Camden Falls & Tiffin Hampton
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• Celebrity of Ohio (cookware,
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• City Barbeque
• Class act by Bob Norris (dJ)
• Coleneie Cakes & Gourmet
Filled Cupcakes
• Confection Creations
• Cool World Photography
• Country Inn & Suites and Holiday Inn Express
• Creative Connections (flowers,
props)
• Creative Hair designs
• Cutting Edge Hair designers &
Spa
• CW Photography 416
• decorations Plus
• deena’s Cakes and Cookies
• don Johnson Florist & Bridal
• drury Inn & Suites
• Elder-Beerman Gift Registry
• Elegant Cakes
• Encore Bridal (bridal attire)
• Everlastings at the Orchard
(floral preservation)
• Gina Lynne Floral & design
• Great Scot Community Markets
• J & J Limo
• JLK Photography
• Kathy’s Korner Restaurant &
Catering
• Kimmel Corp. (gown preservation)
• Lia Sophia, Kendra Nickel
• LJB Healthy Living
• Louden Photography
• M2Interiors and design (chair
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covers, table linens)
• Marshall Photography
• Mary Poppins Cake Factory &
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• Memories by Candlelight Wedding dJs and Up Lighting
• Michael Eller diamonds
• Moreno’s Casual dining
• My Makeup Lady
• Nazareth Hall
• New Image Photography &
Video
• Night Jazz
• Niswander’s Jewelers
• Northridge Club
• Picture your Events (photo
booth rental)
• Pine acres Carriage Service
• Pizzazz Custom Creations (floral
design)
• Premier designs Jewelry
• Pure Romance by amanda P.,
amanda G., Katie & Julie
• Radioactive Event (dJ)
• Realistic Music
• Rodan & Fields dermatologists
• Shirley’s Gourmet Popcorn Co.
• Sinks Flowers
• Something Borrowed Vintage &
antique Rentals
• SoSerene (hall rental)
• Sounds Good Mobile Entertainment
• Special Occasions Catering
• Speed of Sound Entertainment
• Stacy’s Place (hall rental)
• Stephanie Robb Photography
• Swan House Tea Room and Cafe
• Tangles Salon & day Spa
• Taste by Tara Catering Service
• Tents-N-Stuff
• The Bridal Emporium (dresses
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• The Bridal Shoppe (bridal
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• Thin and Healthy’s Total Solution (weight loss programs)
• Time Warp Mobile d.J.
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• your Perfect day (wedding planner)
Wedding statistics
according to a 2012 survey
released by The Knot, an online wedding planning site:
The average wedding budget,
excluding the honeymoon, is $27,021.
The most expensive place to get
married is Manhattan, with an average cost of $65,824.
The least expensive place to get
married is West Virginia, with an
average cost of $14,203.
The average spent on a wedding
dress is $1,121.
The average marrying age is 29 for
brides, 30 for grooms.
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W EDDING SHOWCASE
T7
When saying yes follows a mess
Marriage proposals
gone wrong
as he could get to honor a special visit
there years prior.
He carried the ring around for two
and a half weeks but the tower was
elusive. One night a boat ride returned
them after it was closed. They were
rained out another night. On and on
it went.
“I didn’t even know what his
obsession was because we don’t love
Paris for its tourist attractions,” said
43-year-old Cosce, who owns a land-
By LEANNE ITALIE
AssociAted Press
NEW yORK — Proposing marriage has become an industry of its
own with professional planners, flash
mobs for hire and elaborate, homegrown surprises to make the moment
memorable. and let’s not forget youTube, and our steadfast resolve to
share.
So what happens to the best laid
plans when the ring goes missing,
the liquid courage is out of control
or romance is ruined by unforeseen
disaster?
“More complicated equals more
possible problems, and more pressure,” said anja Winikka, director of
the wedding site TheKnot.com.
Val Hunt Beerbower, 29, learned
that the hard way. She was a hot,
bothered mess the night her husband,
Mike, proposed during what he envisioned as a special evening taking in
the sights of Washington, d.C. The
Labor day weekend weather was sweltering, she was exhausted from a full
day on her feet and she stepped in a
huge stagnant pool of foul-smelling
water on the National Mall.
Her jeans wet and stinky, they
pressed on toward the Jefferson
Memorial, the proposal site he had
scouted days before. Halfway around
the Tidal Basin, her allergies kicked
in, her glasses steamed up from the
heat and humidity — and she was begging to return to their hotel.
“So in an unlit parking lot, within
sight of the Jefferson Memorial, Mike
popped the question,” Beerbower, who
works for a conservation group in
dayton, Ohio, recalled of their 2008
trek. While they were still basking in
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see MESS, Page t20
Gina Lynne
Floral & Design
Associated Press
VALERIE BEERBOWER provided this 2009 photo of her and her husband
Mike at Maumee Bay State Park in Oregon, Ohio. Beerbower was a hot,
bothered mess the night her husband proposed during what he envisioned
as a special evening taking in the sights of Washington, D.C.
her “yes,” a driver pulled up, opened
his car door and threw up all over the
place.
“Mike was crushed, but I couldn’t
stop laughing,” she said.
Pam Cosce’s disaster came in frigid
Paris last March, when her husband,
asa Sanchez, had it in his head that
he would propose on top of the Eiffel
Tower after dark, as close to midnight
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T8
W EDDING SHOWCASE
THE COURIER
FRIdAy, APRIL 5, 2013
Coleneie Cakes
Gourmet Filled Cupcakes
Flowers made from recycled materials are beautiful and affordable
By SARAH WOLFE
AssociAted Press
Glynis Abapo knew just what she
wanted her dream wedding cake to
be: simple. Three or four tiers. A rich,
white confection with white peonies
and peony petals cascading down the
middle.
The problem? The handmade
sugar flowers cost a fortune.
Abapo found her answer in plastic
flowers — specifically, the quirky yet
elegant creations crafted by Tennessee artist Lauren Karnitz from materials that most people throw away:
milk jugs, detergent bottles, straws,
wires, medicine bottles, even sucker
wrappers.
The flowers were relatively affordable, says Abapo, 31, of Atlanta. And
eco-friendly.
“And it was just beautiful and just
what I wanted,” she says.
Karnitz, a 42-year-old oil painter,
has been crafting roses, peonies, magnolias, sunflowers and other hybrid
creations out of recycled materials
for nearly two years. She stumbled
into the wedding flower business as
an experiment, but since working
with Abapo, Karnitz has filled orders
for cake flowers, bouquets, corsages
and boutonnieres from about a dozen
brides.
“‘Can I have that?’ is now my signature phrase,” Karnitz says, laughing.
“Meaning, can I have that peculiar
piece of plastic you are about to toss?”
Most of her clients are eco-conscious brides who like the idea of reusing materials for their flowers.
Other green-minded brides are
making or buying alternative flow-
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Associated Press
BRIDES ARE CHOOSING
plastic recycled flowers that are
affordable and eco-friendly for
cakes, bouquets, corsages and
boutonnieres. The cake shown here
is adorned with plastic flowers
designed by the Lauren Karnitz
Studio in Knoxville, Tenn.
ers made from fabric, paper, even
old brooches. Martha Stewart magazine has a tutorial on making paper
flowers, while websites like the Blue
Petyl offer dozens of combinations of
brooches, buttons, pearls and more,
from about $100 to $500.
Bridal designer Princess Lasertron
sells a felted flower kit for bridal bouquets for $140.
Traditional wedding flowers —
everything from table centerpieces to
the bride’s bouquet — typically run
$2,000 to $2,500 — 8 percent to 10
percent of the average $25,000 affair,
according to The Knot.
Like any other wedding florist,
Karnitz consults with brides beforehand to get a feel for their wedding
theme and size, and what they want.
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Then she gets to work at her home
in Knoxville using a trove of discarded junk. Slices of laundry detergent bottles become petals. Ribbon,
electrical conduit and copper wire
are transformed into stamens, pistils
and stems.
“The blooms are all built petal by
petal, working in the round, so all
sides are considered,” Karnitz says.
“Each petal provides a surface for the
next, and so on and so on.”
Her collection of recycled refuse
comes from friends, family and even
complete strangers familiar with her
craft.
“It’s funny. Every time I go somewhere I get handed bags of things,”
Karnitz says. “Like garbage bags of
milk jugs or, here’s some little wires
and stuff.”
It takes up to two hours to make
one corsage or boutonniere, depending on the difficulty. Providing flowers
for a cake can take anywhere from 20
to 30 hours.
Costs vary. Boutonnieres and corsages average $45 each, while cake
flowers run anywhere from $150 to
$450 per cake depending on cake size
and design complexity.
Karnitz doesn’t dye or paint her
flowers but keeps the colors of the
recycled materials. Many of her
designs burst with color, like bright
yellow peony cake flowers made from
cream and yellow milk jugs, or an
azure blue corsage constructed with
blue twist ties and accented by a tiny
yellow bumble bee.
“This is plastic as in, ‘Aha, that’s
plastic!’, as opposed to looking like
plastics or recycled art,” Karnitz says.
For fall weddings, she incorporates
an earthier, more neutral palate for
creations like “pencil bloom” boutonnieres, small round blooms made from
pencil shavings and tiny cut-up black
straws anchored by a swirl of red plastic from bottles in the middle.
see BOuquETS, Page t19
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W EDDING SHOWCASE
T9
Some wedding gifts may last a lifetime
By SARA ARTHURS
Staff Writer
a wedding is just a day, but a
marriage is for a lifetime. So too are
some of the wedding gifts that couples
receive.
amid all the excitement of planning for a wedding, a trip to a local
or online department store to fill out
a wedding registry can get lost in the
shuffle. But, it pays for brides- and
grooms-to-be to choose carefully, for
what they are really doing as they plan
their registries is planning for their
new home together — a home that
will hopefully be the center of happiness for many years to come.
area couples who have been married 50 years or more talked about
raNDY rOBertS / the Courier
MARILYN AND NORMAN Meyers, who recently celebrated their 60th
wedding anniversary, display the Penguin server they received as a
wedding gift and still use regularly.
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the wedding gifts they cherished the
most, some of which they still use
today.
Carol Cap of Findlay, who celebrated 50 years of marriage to her
husband Stanley on Feb. 16, said she
received a set of three Pyrex bowls in
small, medium and large for a bridal
shower.
“The middle one was broken but
I still have the small one,” she said.
“The color’s all gone. They were pink.”
She also received dishes and pots
and pans for her wedding, some of
which she still has. She received Princessware pots and pans.
“Silverware, I still have that,” she
said.
and she still has a large mixer,
although it’s currently on loan to a
relative.
“Boy, I got a lot of things,” Cap
said.
She said her aunts threw a big
bridal shower and she received many
gifts, especially kitchen items.
“It was really beautiful,” she said.
Sharon Putman of Findlay recently
celebrated her 50th anniversary of
marriage to her husband denny. She
still has several items from her wedding.
“We have a quilt that his grandmother made,” she said.
The quilt was for a full-size bed
and Putman hopes to give it to her
daughter, so it will stay in the family.
“We got several blankets because
See RegISTRIeS, Page t11
T10
W EDDING SHOWCASE
Family plans
back-to-back
weddings
By SARA ARTHURS
Staff Writer
It’s a significant day, being the
mother of the bride, but for Susan
Calland of Findlay it happened twice
within one summer.
“It was a blast,” she said.
Calland’s daughter Shelby married
Lukas Brooks on July 22 at the historic Grand Valley dale Ballroom in
Columbus, and her daughter Courtney
married Robert Moore on aug. 25 at
the Mission Point Resort gazebo on
Mackinac Island, Mich. So the family
was planning two weddings simultaneously, which made the year quite
busy but also joyful.
Calland and her husband, dr.
david Calland, have lived in Findlay
since 1982 and their daughters grew
up locally and are both Van Buren
High School graduates. Today Courtney and Robert live in North Olmsted
and Shelby and Lukas live in Columbus, where Shelby is finishing her
degree at Ohio State University.
Calland said planning two weddings involved having to find two of
everything: two caterers, two cake
bakers, two florists. The biggest challenge was “just keeping everything
straight,” she said. To stay organized
and keep all the contracts and payments together, Calland had a binder
with half devoted to each wedding.
She kept track of emails to vendors
and information about payments they
Provided to the Courier
THE FAMILY OF David and Susan Calland are shown at daughter Shelby’s wedding in Columbus in July. Shelby’s
sister, Courtney, married a month later in Michigan, making a busy summer for the family. Pictured (from left) are
Brad Calland, Courtney Calland Moore, Shelby Brooks, Lukas Brooks, Susan Calland and David Calland.
shower hosted by their mother and
other family members.
Calland said one thing she enjoyed
was seeing how different her daughters’ choices were in planning different weddings. While Courtney’s
wedding was outside at a lakeside
gazebo, Shelby’s was inside a ballroom. Courtney wore a more fitted
wedding dress and Shelby’s was “full
of ruffles with a longer train,” Calland
said.
“Courtney had cheesecakes;
Shelby a traditional wedding cake,”
she said. “Courtney was taken from
the ceremony by horse and buggy;
Shelby in her father’s Camaro.”
When it came to shopping for the
See TwO, Page t12
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had made.
“I knew I wouldn’t be able to
remember all of it, so that was a lifesaver,” she said.
She said she highly recommends
taking an approach like this to stay
organized, even for families where
only one daughter is getting married.
Courtney, too, said she learned
quickly that planning a wedding
involves a “huge, long checklist.” She
tried to balance planning her wedding, helping her sister plan her wedding, her work and moving into a new
house.
“It was crazy. But we are blessed
to have so many family and friends”
who helped out, she said.
Courtney and Rob got engaged in
September 2011 and Shelby and Luke
in October 2011.
Courtney said at first she was not
thrilled with the fact that her sister
was going to get married before she
would, since she got engaged first, and
is seven years older. But “it didn’t take
me long to realize, this is going to be
a lot of fun,” she said.
In addition to planning her own
wedding, each bride was involved
in planning her sister’s. They served
as maid and matron of honor in each
other’s wedding. Their brother Brad
was also a groomsman in both weddings. Calland said the siblings are
close but may not see each other as
often as they would like, each living
in a different city.
The sisters enjoyed planning parties and bridal showers for each other.
Each sister planned the other’s bachelorette party.
“It really brought us closer together
that summer,” Courtney said. “We
spent a lot of time together.”
Each bride had several bridal showers, between their friends and their
coworkers, as well as a joint family
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Registries
we got married in the winter,” but
most of these have been used and
passed down, she said. and they
also received kitchen gifts such as a
mixer and a toaster, but most of those
things have since worn out and been
replaced.
Marilyn Meyers of Findlay went
back through her scrapbook of cards
and notations about what people had
given her and her husband Norman
as gifts. The couple marked 60 years
on Feb. 1. She found many items they
still use.
“I’m amazed,” Meyers said.
She said they are still using the
Revere cookware they received for
everyday cooking.
“and we were given a griddle that
I still use,” she said.
She also still uses steak knives and
crystal.
“One thing that we are still using
is called a Penguin,” she said, describing the piece as a chrome food server
that can be used as an ice bucket or
to keep food hot.
The Meyerses received a set of four
mahogany picture frames. Over the
years, Meyers has put different pictures in them.
“But they’re still hanging here and
there,” she said.
There are also some pewter pieces
that they received for their wedding.
Tom and Jane Wittenmyer celebrated their 60th anniversary on
Feb. 22.
They, too, received a Penguin
server which they still use.
“I use that a lot,” Jane Wittenmyer
said, noting that it is perfect to hold
dishes such as baked beans or potato
salad when she is going to a picnic.
“We got a pressure cooker which
I still use,” she said. “It’s pretty beat
up, but I still use it.”
david and Martha Oman celebrated 60 years on dec. 21.
Martha Oman said they received
W EDDING SHOWCASE
dining room furniture for a wedding
gift that they still have today.
In addition, david Oman said there
is a pillow that they received that he
still has.
Ruthann Walters of Fostoria, and
her husband Clair celebrated their
50th anniversary on Jan. 13.
“you sit down and kind of pull the
picture books out. ... Time flies by,”
she said.
She said she and her husband came
up with several gifts they still have.
“My most treasured, of course” is a
quilt that was handmade by her grandmother, her father’s mother. Walters
still uses it today.
She said her grandmother always
made dresses for her granddaughters,
then used pieces of the dresses to use
in patchwork quilts.
Her maternal grandfather gave her
a cake carrier, and she also received
many pots and pans.
“I have about four that I use yet of
those,” she said.
There is also a silver serving tray
that they use occasionally. and she,
too, has some mixing bowls as well as
candy dishes that she still uses.
and, while gifts bring nice memories, it’s the marriage that’s important.
Meyers said the secret to a long
and happy marriage is “just enjoying
each other and enjoying life as it goes
along, taking it one step at a time.”
Her advice? “I think you have to
just be kind to each other,” she said.
Meyers said she never thought, on
her wedding day, she would be looking
back upon 60 years of marriage.
“It’s been a good 60 years, though,”
she said.
Arthurs: 419-427-8494
saraarthurs@thecourier.com
T11
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T12
W EDDING SHOWCASE
Two
dress, “Courtney kind of knew what
she wanted,” Calland said. She found
several in a similar style but had a
hard time making up her mind. Then
when they were all at the bridal shop
in Cleveland where Courtney got
her dress, Calland told Shelby, “you
might as well just look around.” an
hour before the shop was to close,
Shelby picked out about five dresses
to try on. She ended up choosing the
first one she tried on.
Shelby had about 200 guests and
Courtney about 100. Since Courtney chose a destination wedding in
Mackinac, it was more expensive for
people to go to but many people did
come to both, Calland said.
Courtney chose Mackinac because
the family has a cottage there and has
spent time there regularly since she
was a child.
“When we would travel to the
island with the kids we would always
see a wedding going on,” Calland
said.
With a destination wedding, “there
weren’t as many vendors to choose
from” which made it easier to narrow
down the choices, Calland said. By
contrast, since Shelby got married in
Columbus there were many options.
Shelby’s future mother-in-law “was
wonderful too in helping with several
different things, so I felt like I had a
true ally there,” Calland said. She said
they got along well.
Calland and both her daughters
spent a lot of time online on Pinterest looking for ideas.
They enjoy crafts and made several items for both weddings.
“I love to do the crafts and that
was really fun for me,” Calland said.
They made the programs and table
numbers with pictures for both weddings and had photo books made for
their guest books. For Courtney’s
reception, the family also made the
table centerpieces and decor, and
Calland sewed the table runners and
the “Mr. and Mrs.” banner. For Shelby’s wedding, Shelby and her future
mother-in-law made the ribbon wands
they used when they left the ballroom
for pictures, Calland said.
“We loved putting our own touches
on things, and it was more economical to do some of it ourselves,” Calland said.
They also prepared the favors for
each wedding. In Shelby and Luke’s
case, this was dietsch’s taffy, and in
Courtney and Rob’s it was Mackinac
Island fudge, in both cases with labels
looking like the bride and groom.
Shelby, 22, is a student at Ohio
State University. Her husband, who
graduated in december, is an engineer in Columbus.
“Our weddings were actually quite
different,” Shelby said.
Her wedding was inside while her
sister’s was outside. Shelby described
her sister’s horse and carriage as “like
a fairy tale.”
a month later, being the matron of
honor rather than the bride she could
relax somewhat more, she said.
But Courtney said that, since
Shelby’s wedding came first, “I got
to see what to do and what not to do
for mine.”
Shelby said both weddings, as well
as the planning, were a lot of fun.
“My dad walking me down the
aisle was a really emotional thing for
both of us,” Shelby said.
Both daughters had the fatherdaughter dance at their receptions.
“That was really nice,” Calland
said.
Her husband, who she described
as “very techie,” put together a slideshow and video presentation to the
song each girl chose with pictures of
them growing up, so that played while
they danced.
Courtney, 30, is a technician at
a hospital and her husband is a resident physician in a physical medicine
and rehab program. The couple met
online at Match.com.
Both daughters said their mother
was a great help.
“I could not have done this without her. ... She did everything for us,”
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Courtney said. “She was so excited to
do this planning.”
Courtney said it was somewhat
exhausting planning a wedding, and
there were things she thought she
wanted but “toward the end I was
just so wiped out” that she made different choices.
Calland said the venue Shelby and
Luke chose was “absolutely stunning”
and she enjoyed seeing the bridesmaids and the bride come down the
curved stairway, Shelby in her ruffled, flowing dress.
“It was just gorgeous to see her
come down the steps with my husband,” Calland said.
While there were many differences
between the two weddings, there
were also some similarities. Courtney said they had the same style of
jewelry and wore the same flower in
their hair.
“Both boys did ask my husband
for his daughter’s hand in marriage,”
Calland said.
Rob asked first, and so they were
thinking they need to get into “wedding mode.”
“Then we get the call from Luke
wondering if he could talk to dave
and of course we both looked at each
other,” she said.
Calland said they set a budget
for each wedding and each bride
kept track of it. Shelby ended up a
little under budget and Courtney
just slightly over. all told, they were
able to organize two weddings for
“much, much, much less than what
the national average is. ... you can still
have a beautiful wedding on a limited
budget,” Calland said.
and there were choices that ended
up more economical when there were
two weddings to consider.
“My husband ended up buying his
own tux because it was cheaper than
renting it twice,” Calland said.
For their honeymoons, Courtney
and Rob went to Hawaii and Shelby
and Luke went to Breckenridge, Colo.
Once both weddings were over, “I
wasn’t sure what to do with all my
time,” Calland said.
She said it was a joy to gain two
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SISTERS COURTNEY Calland
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sons-in-law. both of them “truly faithful ... just very kind and giving” and
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W EDDING SHOWCASE
T13
T14
W EDDING SHOWCASE
THE COURIER
Fondant & Traditional
Wedding Cakes
Former University of Findlay administrator writes marriage preparation workbook
By JEANNIE WILEY WOLF
Staff Writer
A failed first marriage sent Paul
Sago on a path to counsel other couples preparing to wed.
Using knowledge he gained from
years of pre-marital and marriage
counseling as well as his own experiences — he has been happily married to second wife,
Donna, for 23 years
— the former Findlay man has written a book to help
prospective brides
and grooms shift
their focus from the
wedding to the lifelong commitment
of marriage. The
87-page workbook Sago
is titled “Planning
Your Marriage: A
Workbook Guide for Engaged and
Married Couples.”
“Wouldn’t it be an advantage if
it was hard to get married and easy
to get divorced, rather than to be
easy to get married and hard to get
divorced,” asked Sago, 82, who now
lives in Tulsa, Okla.
Sago majored in biological and
physical sciences while a student at
what was then Findlay College, and
then attended Winebrenner Theological Seminary off and on for several
years. He also married while a student.
“I thought I had all the answers,”
he said. “I majored in biblical studies and minored in church ... you get
to thinking you know everything. I
found out I knew nothing about relationships.”
“I was probably the poorest hus-
band that ever was,” said Sago.
Sago and his first wife would
divorce after 37 years.
Sago went on to receive a master’s
degree in psychology. Later, he was
asked to serve on the Findlay College
board of trustees and landed a job as
the school’s vice president for development.
Sago would serve 33 years as an
administrator in higher education
around the United States, the last
19 years as a university president
at first Azusa Pacific University and
then Woodbury University, both in
California.
It was while he was at Azusa
Pacific he met his future wife, Donna,
who was his administrative assistant
at the time. They worked together for
10 years before marrying.
Sago couldn’t be happier.
“When my wife and I get up in the
morning, I just think naturally, what
can I do to make Donna’s life better
today? And she thinks that, too. And
we live for each other,” he said. “And
if we do that, then I cannot make her
happy, but I can set up a set of circumstances in which happiness should
occur.”
After retirement, Sago pursued
his longtime interest as a marriage
counselor.
He became a co-pastor at a Methodist church in Burbank, Calif., and
became responsible for counseling
couples.
Sago came up with 70 questions
that he thought were significant for
brides and grooms to ask each other
and talk about prior to marriage.
“When brides and grooms would
come in and ask me if I would counsel
them and if I would then marry them,
my answer was always yes. But first
we must have a session to talk about
communication,” he said.
Communication, which is the topic
of the second chapter of his book, is
the most important ingredient in marriage, said Sago.
“My wife and I have never had an
argument,” he said. “She’s a wonderful, wonderful wife. I think I know
exactly what her feelings are about
things. She knows how I feel. And
if we have a difference of feelings ...
we come to a meeting of minds and
feelings.”
He said the keys are kindness, a
soft voice and only talking about feelings.
“You know at any age, facts are not
near as important in relationships as
how we feel,” he said.
“So I taught them to say to one
another, ‘Honey, may I tell you how
I feel?’ And he would say, ‘Yes, you
may.’ So that was permission and an
obligation for him to listen,” said Sago.
“The bride shared her deepest, honest
feelings very kindly and softly. Then
when that was done, he would say to
her, ‘I believe I understand your feelings. Now may I tell you what I heard
you say and how I feel?’”
By using that or any similar form
of communication, couples will find it
impossible to argue, Sago said.
“After counseling them on communications I would say, you two take
these questions, ... go away and talk
through them and take notes. And
when you are through, you call me and
we will set up the next appointment,
but not until,” he said.
Sessions with Sago always included
the prospective bride and groom
asking each other, “Why do I wish to
marry this person,” which is the first
question presented in his book.
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him or her, is not acceptable,” he said.
“and you know what? That becomes a
very positive, binding thing they talk
about. Most couples do not sit down
and say, in seriousness, ‘as a matter
of record, honey, this is what I really
love about you.’”
“and the interesting thing is, after
30 years, that same thing may be what
they hate about them,” he said. “So
they can go back to the book and look
at their answer and talk about it at any
time during the marriage.”
The book also poses questions like:
“am I satisfied with the amount of
affection I receive from my spouse?”
and “does my partner have habits that
annoy me?” Each question is accompanied by spaces for responses by both
bride and groom along with a negotiated decision.
Sago said another question that
causes many problems in marriage is
who will the couple permit into their
“sacred circle.”
“This may be the deal breaker,” he
W EDDING SHOWCASE
said. “I would have the couple stand
in the middle of the floor in my office,
and I had a golden colored rope that I
would lay around them in a circle. and
I would say, ‘Now consider this your
sacred space ... who are you going to
permit in this sacred space? Well, children, but mother-in-law, father-in-law,
nosy sister, the busybody at church?”
“and that’s what causes a lot of
trouble is people who let other people,
non-qualified people, into their sacred
space,” he said.
The chapter on money and finances
includes the most questions.
“I think another one that’s a biggie
is I ask them to decide and answer
the question, will we have a budget?
How will we handle the budget, and
will we decide how much money either
one of us can spend without consulting the other?” Sago said. “If you get
into these questions and think about
them, they cover an awful lot. a man
can’t go out and buy a motorcycle or
a boat, for example, and come home
and say, ‘Honey, guess what I got?’”
Sago asked the church’s marriage
coordinators for input and ran the
list of questions by members of the
California association of Marriage
Coordinators for any other additions.
“One of the suggestions was that I
extend this to people who were being
married for the second time, so I
included a chapter on that,” he said.
“The same things apply, but in a
different way because in second marriages you’re not only dealing with
opinions, you are dealing with baggage,” he said. “So you agree, even
before the marriage, when this baggage starts opening ... you agree in
advance to go to a counselor.”
AssoCiATed Press
BUCHaREST, Romania — a white
limousine screeches to a halt and a bride,
resplendent in frothy gown and veil, is
hauled outside by her abductors.
It’s one of Romania’s more colorful
customs: bride-napping. and the tradition of snatching the bride from under
the nose of groom and guests with the
wedding party in full swing is getting
bigger, brasher and an increasingly
common sight in the Romanian capital,
the Balkans’ undisputed party town.
Every Saturday night, brides from
Bucharest and beyond are dragged
away in a mock abduction by friends
and driven to a top tourist spot where
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they are “held hostage” — all the while
pouting, dancing and striking provocative poses for the cameras.
The ransom: a few bottles of whiskey
or perhaps something more romantic,
like a public declaration of love from
the abandoned groom. The kidnappers
negotiate by phone, working out the
details of the payoff. It’s all harmless
theatrics meant to add a whiff of risque
fun to the nuptials.
Mock abductions of brides are part of
marriage ceremonies across the former
Soviet Union. In some countries, guests
lock up a bride or have her hide in a backroom during celebrations, demanding
that the bridegroom delivers a “ransom”
— like singing a song, dancing or sometimes paying real money.
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This could require someone other
than a member of the clergy, he noted.
“you don’t need to go to, pardon
me for saying this, a minister who just
knows to say pray about it. That’s not
enough. It’s not bad, but it’s not nearly
enough,” he said. “It has to be more
than just religion. It has to be highly
practical and personal.”
Sago’s book is available through
www.amazon.com and www.barnesandnoble.com. Cost is $11.95, or
$9.99 for an e-book.
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Bride-stealing custom all the rage in Bucharest
By ALISON MUTLER
T15
In Romania, the custom took off a
few years ago when a top football player
rented Bucharest’s arch of Triumph, a
major monument modeled after its
iconic namesake in Paris, and proposed
there to his girlfriend. There was no kidnapping involved but the scene stuck in
the popular imagination as a symbol
of marriage, and soon the monument
became a sort of midnight mecca for
bride-napping.
authorities turn a blind eye to the
partying under the monument, technically illegal because it’s a historic
landmark. Motorists cruise around the
square honking, waving and cheering.
The party is one way for Romanians,
frustrated with austerity measures and
feuding politicians, to let off steam.
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Associated Press
A BRIDE AND GROOM are shown playing a version of the “Newlywed Game” in Newport Beach, Calif. The bride
and groom hold up their shoes in answer to questions like “Which of you is the better driver?” and “Which of you
has the crazy family?” They are seated back to back so they cannot see each others’ answers.
Guests may enjoy
games, contests,
icebreakers
By MELISSA KOSSLER DUTTON
AssociAted Press
At Bernie and Jordan Hajovsky’s
wedding reception, it was useful to
know details about the happy couple:
Guests had to answer questions about
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The newlyweds hoped the trivia
game and other activities would make
the reception more memorable.
“I really wanted people to walk
away feeling they had been involved
and that it was the most fun wedding
reception they had ever attended,”
said Jordan Hajovsky, of Austin,
Texas.
Games, contests and other icebreakers have become increasingly
popular at wedding receptions, said
Sarabeth Quattlebaum, spokeswoman
for the American Association of Certified Wedding Planners, in Dallas.
“Couples want a party atmosphere
and have realized that the more guests
mix and mingle, the more relaxed
they’ll be,” said Quattlebaum, owner
of Sarabeth Events in Keller, Texas.
“This also adds a personal touch to
their reception party.”
Disc jockey Peter Merry says more
and more couples are asking him to
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THE COURIER
Older couples have
different priorities
By CAROLE FELDMAN
AssociAted Press
Wedding bells are ringing for baby
boomers, too. But brides and bridegrooms in their 50s and 60s often have
different priorities than their younger
counterparts.
“The weddings tend to be smaller
and not as over the top,” said Keija
Minor, executive editor of Brides
magazine.
“When you’re in your 20s and 30s,
there’s a lot of family influence,” she
said. “The beauty of getting married in
your 50s and 60s is you don’t necessarily feel the pressure of family wishes.
People really get to do their wedding
their way.”
For boomers Jonathan Salant and
Bonnie Cole of Rockville, Md., that
meant going bigger and more traditional when they got married last year.
He was a widower with a teenage son.
She was getting married for the first
time.
“at this age, I didn’t think I needed
the whole kit and caboodle,” Cole said,
but Salant wanted to pack their synagogue for something happy, since it had
been filled for his first wife’s funeral.
The couple settled on a wedding
with nearly 200 people from around the
country. She wore a formal gown — by
Vera Wang in oyster — and they followed other wedding traditions, such
as making a grand entrance as husband
and wife, and having a first dance.
Many other boomer brides opt for
suits or cocktail-length dresses instead
of gowns.
“you can definitely wear white to
your second wedding, or if you’re get-
W EDDING SHOWCASE
ting married later,” Minor said. But, to the family; Cole, in turn, thanked
she added, “One hard and fast etiquette Salant for giving her a son.
rule that most adhere to is that brides
The first question, of course, is
should not wear a veil the second time whether to get married at all. Susan
around.”
Brown, co-director of the National
Boomer weddings tend to cost Center for Family and Marriage
about the same as weddings for Research at Bowling Green State
younger couples, but emphasize differ- University, said that about two-thirds
ent things, said wedof the nation’s
ding planner Marsha
77 million boom“For my older brides
Pruitt of The Event
ers (people born
they put a lot of
Host in Charlotte,
between 1946 and
N.C.
1964) are married,
emphasis on a nice
“It’s more of a
and about 30 persmall elegant party,”
cent of those are in
meal and keeping it
she said. “For my
remarriages. Many
cozy enough.”
older brides they put
others, however, are
a lot of emphasis on
just as happy to live
- wedding PlAnner
a nice meal and keeptogether without
mArshA Pruitt
ing it cozy enough,”
getting married,
she said. “It’s all
and that number is
about relationship
growing.
when you get older.”
“They’re interested in a partner for
Older brides and grooms have a the long haul but not interested in getmore sophisticated style, she said.
ting married,” Brown said.
“They don’t necessarily want everyThe center’s research found nearly
thing,” Pruitt said. “They have a better 2.7 million boomers in “cohabitating
understanding of how money works. unions” in 2010, more than double the
They start off knowing what their figure in 2000.
budget is.”
“The boomers were the first come
and there’s a different kind of of age during the transformation
excitement. “Because of their matu- of american families,” Brown said.
rity, they know what they’re getting “These are people who lived together
into,” she said. “They’re going into it
with their eyes wide open, and that you
don’t see in younger brides.”
Some baby boomers ask that in
lieu of gifts, donations be made to
their favorite charity. “It’s a cool thing
instead of registering for a toaster,”
Minor said.
Boomers often include their children in the wedding, Minor said, even
“grandmothers getting remarried who
have their grandchildren as flower
girls.”
Salant’s son, Izzy, toasted his new
mother at the wedding, welcoming her
as young adults” before getting married, she said, and “They are partnering once again.”
Boomers may not want to comingle
their finances, for a variety of reasons,
including children from a previous relationship. “you’ve already amassed your
nest egg,” Brown said.
Cohabiting relationships are “very
stable for those who are in the second
half of life,” she said.
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W EDDING SHOWCASE
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FRIDAy, APRIL 5, 2013
Georgia town is marriage mecca
Couples flock
in for cheap,
easy weddings
Kelly Schroeder
By TIM OMARZU
Independent Distributor
The ChaTTanooga Times Free Press
RINGGOLD, Ga. (AP) — George
H. Fleetwood and Pam Griffin didn’t
waste any time getting married Friday
afternoon.
The couple from Rome, Ga., paid
$65 in cash for their marriage license
at the Catoosa County Courthouse,
then walked directly across Nashville
Street to seal the deal with a $50 ceremony at the Ringgold Wedding Chapel
for just the two of them.
“I said, ‘Let’s just stop by the
chapel right here,’” Fleetwood said,
“Why not? I’m in love.”
The newlywed Fleetwoods aren’t
alone in picking Ringgold as the place
to get hitched. The city of some 3,500
residents has a longstanding reputation as a marriage mecca.
Country superstars George Jones
and Tammy Wynette started their
tumultuous six-year union there in
1969. Dolly Parton and husband Carl
Dean had better luck in 1966 getting
married in Ringgold — they’re still
together.
The courthouse downtown issues
between 2,000 and 2,400 marriage
licenses a year, said Probate Court
Clerk Shawna Cooper, who’s somewhat mystified by the small town’s
matrimonial magnetism.
“We’ve heard about Ringgold,”
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associated Press
MINISTER TROY SIMMONS marries a couple at the Ringgold Wedding Chapel in Ringgold, Ga. The chapel is a
full service wedding facility capable of supplying clothing, decorations, and a minister.
couples will tell Cooper. “And I’m
like, ‘How?’”
Catoosa County does make marriage easier than other Georgia counties, she said.
Only one piece of identification
is required from a bride or groom,
Cooper said. A marriage license costs
$65 — cash only.
Other counties require such paperwork as divorce decrees from all past
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W EDDING SHOWCASE
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Bouquets Mecca
associated press
LAUREN KARNITZ’S Double Beige
Bloom corsage/boutonniere can be
saved as a wedding memento.
Her double Beige Bloom boutonniere — two small blossoms of light
brown crinkled ribbon, straws and
plastic bottle shreds — is tied together
with a sheer, brown, taffeta ribbon.
“I know anyone can create flowers
from plastic materials, but Lauren’s
come from very good quality,” abapo
says. “They’re very unique and can
catch anyone’s attention.”
One of the best things about recycled wedding flowers, according to
Karnitz, is that they last much longer
than real flowers and can be displayed
for years afterward.
“you can have them forever,” she
says, “this memento of your special
day.”
mons, the minister at Straight Way
Holiness Church in Soddy-daisy
whom James hired about three years
ago to perform marriages at her
chapel. It’s closed on Sundays.
a Spanish-speaking minister performed the other seven Valentine’s
day weddings.
“She built that trust in their community,” Simmons said. “They can
come here and be treated fair.”
No particular type of couple pre-
ration took place within six months.
Judges in other counties often
aren’t able to schedule weddings
right away. In Ringgold, the probate
and magistrate judges are willing to
marry couples as they show up.
County officials also direct couples
to the Ringgold Wedding Chapel, dominates, James said.
“We’ve had ‘em
which has been in
as young as 16,”
business since the
“We’re the best-kept
James said, explainmid-1980s inside
ing that the teenage
secret locally that the
a historic building
couples’ parents
that originally was
world knows about.”
signed off on the
a Methodist church.
union at the court“We’re the best- Chapel owner Teresa James
house.
kept secret locally
The oldest custhat the world
tomer James can
knows about,” said
Teresa James, who has owned the remember was a 97-year-old man.
“When do you want to get marchapel since 2008.
“They come from all over the ried?” she asked him. He replied, “I’m
world,” she said, citing customers 97. as soon as possible.”
Simmons has tucked a cellphone in
from England, Laos, austria, australia and argentina, among other his shirt pocket so far-off family members can hear the ceremony.
countries.
One wedding was video broadcast
One celebrity who got married
in the chapel, James said, was Bob over the Internet via Skype so the
Harvey, a founding member of the father, who was serving in the U.S.
1960s psychedelic rock band Jeffer- military in the Middle East, could step
away from an important meeting to
son airplane.
Some couples plan weddings with watch.
“He said, ‘Excuse me, I’ve got to
James, who offers packages costing as
much as $599 for up to 100 guests on go watch my daughter get married,’”
James said.
Saturdays and holidays.
Themed weddings take place, too,
The least expensive is $50 for a
walk-in, weekday, couples-only wed- she said, including pirate, motorcycle,
Western and redneck weddings.
ding.
“We had a St. Patrick’s wedding.
The chapel performs 700 to 750
Even the baby was painted green,”
ceremonies a year, James said.
Valentine’s day is the chapel’s busi- James said.
“We’ve had pajama weddings,” she
est, with 20 weddings performed this
said. That couple explained, “Everyyear.
“I did 14 of them,” said Troy Sim- body sees us in pajamas. No one will
know us if we’re dressed.”
“We have fun with it,” James said,
explaining her take on weddings. “It’s
a celebration.”
James takes weddings seriously,
though. She says they’re for keeps,
and if need be, she’ll steer couples who
have gone through the chapel toward
marriage counseling services.
She said God led her to run the
wedding chapel.
“I ask God to help me. That Holy
Spirit comes in, and he just makes it
work,” she said.
James said she’s moved by couples’
stories.
George and Pam Fleetwood shared
theirs earlier this month.
They met when Pam’s then-husband was fixing his car, and George
offered to help.
The three became friends, and
George decided to marry Pam after
her husband died and she was alone.
“I just couldn’t let her go through
life like that,” George said.
a box of tissues is stashed in each
of the 16 pews in the Ringgold Wedding Chapel, and George and Pam
helped themselves to dry their eyes
during their emotional ceremony.
“I’m going to look like Tammy
Faye,” Pam joked at one point, referring to the late televangelist Tammy
Faye Bakker, famous for tear-smeared
mascara.
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Good time
help organize reception activities,
such as contests to win table centerpieces or asking guests to serenade
the bride and groom with songs that
include the word love in the lyrics.
Other couples are incorporating photo
booths, where guests can have their
pictures taken in silly hats and holding
goofy props.
With guests from different phases
of their lives who may not know each
other, brides and grooms want to provide opportunities to interact.
“If you can break down any discomfort, guests will stay longer and
have more fun on the dance floor,”
said Merry, of dallas, author of “The
Best Wedding Reception Ever” (Sellers, 2010).
dJ Jimmie Malone, who owns the
company Exceptional Receptions in
Binghamton, N.y., encourages couples
to include activities to set the tone and
help balance the wedding’s “pomp and
circumstance.”
Mess
scaping business with her husband
in San Francisco. “after 10 years
together, it never occurred to me that
he might be considering popping the
question.”
They eventually did make it to
the top of the tower one night, but
it was mobbed with people, including a rowdy rugby team and a chatty
mother-daughter duo they couldn’t
shake. Cosce and her beau escaped
to the outside deck, straight “into a
crazy, freezing windstorm.” He was
“positively verklempt” at the crowds
and the weather, she said, so they
made their way out and settled for a
bench with a view of the Eiffel instead.
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“It keeps guests engaged,” Malone
said.
Stephanie Goetz of Binghamton
said the games at her 2011 wedding
“helped break the ice. Between the different families and friends, the majority of people didn’t know each other.
It was a lot of fun.”
Malone sometimes leads guests
through an elaborate game in which
they must pass a drink, a set of car
keys and a dollar bill around the
table. He keeps the crowd laughing
and guessing about what the items
mean. at the end, he announces that
the person holding the money is “$1
richer” and that the holder of the
drink must serve as the table’s bartender for the evening. The person
with the car keys? Malone tells them
jokingly, “Congratulations you just
won a new car.”
The centerpiece goes to the “generous person” who donated the $1.
If you can get guests “laughing
early in the night, it sets the tone for
the rest of the reception,” he said.
at other receptions, he has organized a version of “Let’s Make a deal,”
rewarding guests who can produce an
expired driver’s license or the oldest
penny in the room.
Of course, the games may not work
for all the guests.
“It’s very easy for people to duck
out,” Malone said. “If a table chooses
not to play,” it’s not a problem.
Most times, the games help create
a sense of camaraderie at the table
where guests may not know one
another, he said.
along with trivia, the Hajovskys
arranged for an instructor to teach
line dances. Jordan Hajovsky loved
watching her new friends interact
with her college friends and family.
“It got everybody on the dance
floor,” she recalled of her March 30
wedding.
Quattlebaum likened the trend to
decades-old traditions such as stealing
the groom’s shoes at an Indian wedding, or lifting the bride and groom
in chairs while dancing at a Jewish
wedding.
“These are all examples of wedding
guests coming together as strangers
and doing something to unite each one
of them by working together toward a
common goal or game,” she said.
One thing that did go right: a little
light he had installed in the ring box in
preparation for his evening proposal
actually worked.
youTube and social media are full
of big proposals gone wrong. There’s
the girl who swallowed the ring buried
in a strawberry milkshake, eventually
accepting while holding her X-ray with
a perfect view of her new rock. and
there’s the brain surgeon who buried
the ring on a Florida beach, only to
forget where he put it when the time
came.
and there’s 30-year-old Hans
Krauch, an aviation technician from
Victoria, British Columbia. The aP
hunted him down online, along with
Beerbower, Cosce and others who
agreed to interviews.
“I was totally hammered when I
did it. I needed the liquid courage. Her
reply was, ‘yes, but when you sober
up you better still feel the same,’” he
recounted of his mumbly, bumbling
question he loosely calls a proposal.
They now have a 2-year-old daughter.
“The plan was just do it and get
it over with, kind of close your eyes
and just run in, guns blazing,” said
Krauch, who doesn’t necessarily recommend his without-a-plan approach.
“Taking the next step forward is
always a challenge.”
So how does his wife feel about it
now?
“I think she’s a little embarrassed
because a lot of her friends are, you
know, beautiful dinners, flowers, the
whole thing, the traditional thing,
and then this. I deliver this,” he said
sheepishly.
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Find the
perfect shoe to
go with your
perfect gown
By SAMANTHA CRITCHELL
AP FAshion Writer
NEW YORK — No offense to
Cinderella, but she sort of had it
backward. The shoe should be at
the end of the to-do list for a wedding fairy tale.
A fter the engagement, first
consider the venue, then the dress
— then the shoes and other accessories, experts say. Collectively, they
should have a complementary vibe.
“It’s all a picture that comes
together,” says gown designer Reem
Acra.
No flip-flops for a formal setting
and dress, and satin pumps would
be silly on the beach.
Tanya Dukes, accessories editor
at Brides magazine, suggests these
practical questions:
• How high for the heel? Think
W EDDING SHOWCASE
of the proportions of the dress, how
tall you’ll stand and if you are used
to wearing heels at all, she says.
• Is the wedding outside? A
lawn wedding, for example, could
be trouble for a spiky heel. A wedge
would fare better.
• How formal is the occasion?
Fabric matters here. “Satin is the
traditional choice, and it’s a safe
bet,” Dukes says.
A nd t hen t here’s decid i ng
whether you ever want to wear the
shoes again.
“Most women don’t wear their
bridal shoes again not because
they’re not wearable, but because
they’re a memento,” says footwear
designer Stuart Weitzman, who got
his start in business in bridal more
than 25 years ago. “I make every
bridal shoe in dyeable satin, so you
could wear them again, but you’d
lose the memento, and then you’d
wear those dyed shoes once and ruin
those ‘bridal shoes.’ Most women
never throw them out.”
Weitzman says his success in this
market is due partly to an observation by Judith Leiber, founder of
the famous beaded bag collection,
who noted an “ugly bluish tone” to
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There is more variety now than
ever in gown silhouettes — including shorter cocktail dresses, asymmetrical high-low hemlines, slim
columns and mermaid shapes, in
addition to the ballskirt — and that
does mean almost endless choices
in footwear.
most wedding shoes. He created a
pair out of Swiss lace, won a design
award for them and the rest is history.
He sees as much variety in wedding-shoe styles as he does on the
street: Women want sandals, stilettos, platforms and lace booties, but
the traditional pump is the most
popular.
Shoes often spend most of the
big day covered by the gown’s hem-
line, but they can be a glimpse of
the bride’s personality. The moment
the shoes will probably get the most
attention is right before she kicks
them off to dance, says Acra with
a laugh.
Crafting a head-to-toe mood is
a delicate balancing act between
modernity and timelessness, she
explains. Now, the shoe? That’s a
place to have a little fun.
“If I have a bride in the showroom, I might say, ‘Why not an
orange shoe? ’” Acra says. “It’s fun
to have something different. I love
playing with shoes. I really prefer
colored shoes or something with
bling or fun.”
Metallics are a good middle-ofthe-road option, as is blush pink,
and even black is doable, especially
if you add a black ribbon sash
around the waist of the dress.
“I do think more out-of-the-box
choices will be revisited and worn
again,” says Brides’ Dukes. “Maybe
something with a lot of color, you’re
more likely to wear that again, like a
red shoe, or cowboy boots or sneakers.”
She adds, however: “If you want
the memento, your Cinderella slipper, and you want to keep them pristine, then white is a valid choice.”
Bring multiple pairs of shoes to
gown fittings to explore the options,
recommends Acra, who chooses the
overall look for models in her bridal
runway shows and personally consults with some private clients.
The most important thing, as
with all decisions on the bride’s
look, is that she is happy and comfortable in it, Acra says. “When
you’re walking down the aisle, really
no one will be looking at your shoe.
But you’ll remember what you were
wearing, and if it was bright red,
when you talk to your children 20
years later, you can say, ‘I was ahead
of my time.’”
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W EDDING SHOWCASE
THE COURIER
Wedding fare goes locavore
Couples seek local-food menus
and on-farm weddings
By COLLEEN NEWVINE TEBEAU
AssociAted Press
Robert Pollock started hosting
weddings at his Buttermilk Falls
Inn and Spa as a fluke. He bought a
1764 house on about 100 acres in the
Hudson Valley, north of New york
City, and one of the guys he hired
to do work on the property needed a
place for a wedding, so Pollock agreed.
“Of course it poured rain but we
got through it,” he recalled.
Pollock accidentally became part of
a trend — couples planning weddings
with locally sourced menus and taking
place at farms.
In Chicago, Paul Larson is a farmto-table chef in the truest sense; he’s
both executive chef at Blue Plate caterers and owner of a farm in Cassopolis,
Mich., where he grows microgreens
and heirloom tomatoes.
“When I moved out to Michigan,
they all laughed at me because I was
a city boy wanting to be a farmer,”
Larson said. Now, with the growing
popularity of locavore dining, he finds
it an advantage to offer catering clients produce he’s grown, or the meat
and dairy of his neighbors.
Because wedding clients tend to
book far in advance, Larson can order
seeds and grow an item to order. He
grew butternut squash and leeks specifically for one menu last year, for
example.
Larson estimates that most of the
couples booking Blue Plate for weddings are interested in food issues on
some level, from dabblers to those
serious about sourcing the entire meal
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from small farms within a 100-mile
radius, donating leftovers, recycling
wine corks and the like.
Blue Plate tries to accommodate
couples wherever they are on that
spectrum, Larson said. That means
communicating clearly about a couple’s priorities and about what’s in
season, and accepting the need to
adapt if a particular item comes in
early or late.
Jane Eckert, who consults with
farms on tourism as owner of Eckert
agriMarketing, in St. Louis, Mo., has
seen an increase in farms wanting to
host weddings but says “it’s the brides
who are driving it.”
“Brides are looking for unique
destinations and farmers are looking
for ways to supplement their income,”
she said.
Weddings are still a niche business for farms, Eckert said; pumpkin
patches, hay rides, apple picking and
corn mazes are more popular.
But once a farmer has invested in
the infrastructure to make visitors
comfortable, such as putting in bathrooms and a big parking lot, weddings
can be a logical next step.
“This appeals to the next generation (of farmers) that’s coming in.
They have an opportunity to build
a new business on the farm,” Eckert
said. “It takes the right personality,”
she added, since hosting weddings
means working with sometimesdemanding brides, working into the
night, and dealing with the commotion of big parties.
Other examples of the locavore
wedding trend around the United
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NEW IMAGE
PHOTOGRAPHY
Associated Press
A MARGARITA BAR for guests was featured at the wedding of Elana
Kopstein and Patrick Free at a private estate in Sonoma, Calif. Brides are
looking for unique sites for their weddings and farmers are stepping up to
offer a venue as well as locally grown food.
States include the Jefferson Hotel in
Richmond, Va., which uses local Rappahannock oysters, Manakintowne
Farms lettuces, dave and dee’s locally
grown oyster mushrooms; and produce from the hotel’s own garden on
wedding menus. The hotel recently
installed beehives on its roof and plans
to harvest the honey next spring.
Grande Lakes Orlando resort in
Florida is preparing to open an outdoor farm and event space called
Whisper Creek Farm with 7,000
square feet of fruit and vegetable gardens on the 500-acre Grande Lakes
estate, which also includes The RitzCarlton and JW Marriott hotels.
Wedding guests will be encouraged
to peruse the garden, and even pick
and taste.
Mary Ellen Murphy, owner of Off
the Beaten Path Weddings, in Napa,
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Calif., has been a wedding planner
for about two decades. although
northern California has long been
a food-focused place, she said, she
sees couples increasingly interested
in making good food a focus of their
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W EDDING SHOWCASE
Chad Greer, who recently joined
as chef, gears large-scale recipes to
what’s in season. at the tail end of
tomato season, for instance, he liked
making panzanella salad with the
resort’s own bread and basil. He is lobbying for an argentinian barbecue so
he can do whole local pigs.
Pollock said a wedding on the property is low key and natural.
“This is not a heels place,” he said.
“I tell people, don’t wear your Jimmy
Choos, wear your Merrills.”
celebrations.
Farms appeal to couples getting
married, she thinks, because so many
people work indoors and are naturedeprived; it reconnects them to the
earth.
“Seeing elegance out in the middle
of nature brings back some fond
memory of childhood and how good
If you are considering a farm wedit felt to run around,” Murphy said. ding, some tips from experts:
“People want to bottle that feeling and
• Keep the food fun and familiar.
give that to their
you can accommoguests.”
date less adventur“Seeing elegance out
S he re c e nt l y
ous diners (and
helped her publiin the middle of nature
vegetarians) with
cist, Elana Free,
a baked potato bar,
brings back some fond
plan her wedding,
for example.
with a farm-like
• Plan for the
memory
of
childhood
vibe that drew on
season but stay
Free’s childhood
and how good it felt
flexible. If you want
memories of visiting
peaches and tomato run around. People
her grandparents’
toes on a locavore
ranch. “We would
want to bottle that
menu, that probably
pick mulberries for
means July, not Febfeeling and give that
hours during the
ruary. But weather
summer from which
conditions the year
to
their
guests.”
my grandma would
of your wedding
make delicious jam
could speed up,
wedding
planner
mary
and pie. We gathslow down or wipe
ellen murphy
ered persimmons
out a particular
and walnuts, eggs
crop.
from the chickens,
• Prepare for outdoor conditions.
pulled carrots from the garden, milked Have extra wraps for cool evenings,
the goats, and even went scouting for and cheap sunglasses.
arrowheads,” Free recalled.
• Have a bad-weather contingency
Free said her wedding menu fea- plan. If you’re outside, have a backup
tured local peaches and watermelon like a tent, and if you’re in a barn or
agua fresca at the welcome table; other farm building, don’t assume
locally sourced chicken on the fam- there’s heat or air conditioning.
ily-style, build-your-own-tacos dinner
• Remember that guests might
menu; locally roasted coffee at an think of a wedding as dressy. Either
espresso bar; local wine; and a des- spell out a casual dress code, or think
sert bar with family favorites made about how you’ll keep high heels and
by relatives.
fancy dresses clean.
Buttermilk Falls, in Milton, N.y.,
typically hosts about 10 weddings a Online:
year, getting some menu items from http://www.grandelakes.com/
its nearby Millstone Farm — 10 acres http://www.buttermilkfallsinn.
of organic herbs, vegetables and fruits com/
— and its restaurant, Henry’s Farm http://www.blueplatechicago.com/
to Table.
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Mess
Preserving a proposal on camera is
an important moment, Winikka said:
“These days we’re not shy to share.
We’re all exposed to one another’s
lives.” and what better way than
creating a public event or sweeping a
beloved off to a romantic destination
— two strong trends, she said.
Social scientists haven’t spent
much time studying marriage proposals, but Winikka said tradition
still reigns amid the madness to go
big and go public.
She said 71 percent of about 10,000
newly marrieds who used her site
noted their betrothed asked a parent
for permission before popping the
question, and 77 percent of grooms
went down on bended knee. More
couples live together before they get
hitched, she said, adding to the desire
for meaningful proposals.
“Couples are looking to create
something really special and create a
moment,” Winikka said.
Things didn’t go quite as planned
for Tarek Pertew, 30, in Brooklyn. He
was married about four years ago with
no fanfare and no engagement ring, so
he decided he would officially ask his
wife to “stay married” on dec. 16, the
fifth anniversary of the day they met.
a lover of graffiti and street culture, Pertew felt lucky when he discovered a slab of wet cement near their
apartment. He carved the proposal
there two weeks before the date, only
to have it smoothed over, except for a
bit of his foot print.
He soldiered on, despite a prescient
dream his wife had that he would propose to her in a nearby park. Then
came a New york moment.
“The evening before, I do a dry run
and notice that a massive pile of dog
poop was sitting right on top of the
sidewalk square,” said Pertew, who
owns a media company. It was too late
to change course, so he cleaned it up
as best he could in a drizzle, leaving
Kathy’s Korner Restaurant
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T23
an unsightly smear.
She said yes, and Pertew hopes:
“at least my footprint can symbolize
my intent.”
Bride and groom
make unusual
entrance
RHINEBECK, N.y. (aP) — The
bride arrived in her helicopter and
the groom swooped down with a
parachute.
Heather Howley and Marius Ivascu
held their wedding reception Saturday at the Old Rhinebeck aerodrome,
where they also had their first date.
Howley owns Independent Helicopters based at Stewart International
airport and Ivascu is a skydiving
instructor and a member of the U.S.
Parachute Team.
Ivascu told the Poughkeepsie Journal (http://pojonews.co/Zb7mi7 )
that their wedding day stunt was a
good way to promote the aviation
business, which has been hurt by the
recession and soaring fuel prices.
The aerodrome, in the Hudson
Valley village of Rhinebeck 50 miles
south of albany, is a museum of aviation history. Ivascu and Howley volunteer for the nonprofit group that holds
flying events there starting in June.
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