February - The Classic Motorcycle Club of Johannesburg

The Classic Motorcycle Club
P.O. Box 7709, Albermarle, 1410
The Master Link
Vol.48 - No. 2 - February 2013
www.classicmotorcycleclub.co.za
Contented
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Calendar of Events/ New Members/ Notice Board
Editorial
Perpetual Motion
BOTM
News
News
Guess the Bike
Narrative – Classic Rides
Events – A belated tribute to the Chairman’s cheer
Events – CMC Charity Run
Events – Swartbrand 2013
Events – The second running of the 18th Swartbrand
Feature – Looking Back
Classic Bike – AJS 16M Rebuild
Feature – A bit on the side
History – A brief history of Killarney
Marketplace
Humour
Faces
CMC Committee
Riding Shotgun
[1]
Calendar of Events
February 2013
01/03 Passion for Speed, Zwartkops (Classic bikes on 3rd)
03
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: DKW, Zundapp, Kreidler, Puch, Hercules, Victoria, CZ, Jawa,
Ural, Sunglass
10
Pre JD – contact Pierre 072 513 9432
20
Club Night
17
Piston Ring
24
Vintage Moto X Cape Town
March 2013
03
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: All British bikes except Triumph and BSA
06/09 JD Rally – Contact Pierre 072 513 9432
Registration 6 March
Start – 7 March 06H00 at the Carnival City Casino.
Finish – 9 March Hillcrest, KZN
17
Piston Ring Swap Meeting
20
1000 Bike Show meeting
20
Club Night
23/24 Vintage Enduro – Sierra Ranch – KZN
April 2013
07
14
17
21
Club Sunday - Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: Everything Italian – Ducati, Laverda, Moto Guzzi, Moto Morini,
Gilera, Itom
Club Run – SSOB
Club Night
Piston Ring
May 2013
05
12
15
19
TBA
TBA
Club Sunday - Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: Off Road Day
Club Run – Cool Run – Contact Tim 082 629 2961
Club Night – 1000 Bike Show meeting
Piston Ring
Natal Classic – CMC Natal
Ride to VVC – Contact Pierre 072 513 9432
[2]
June 2013
01
02
09
09
15
16
19
Benoni High School Wheels Day – Contact Charles Gardner 082 824 9731
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: Honda
Club Run
DJ Remembrance Run – Contact Pierre 072 513 9432
Vintage Moto Cross – Eastern Cape
Piston Ring
Final 1000 Bike Show meeting
July 2013
06/07
14
21
24
TBA
1000 Bike Show – Germiston High School
Club Run
Piston Ring
1000 Bike Show wrap up and report back
Natal CMC Bike Show
August 2013
04
04
10
11
18
21
TBA
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: Triumph
Cars in the Park – POMC
Vintage Moto cross – Gauteng
Club Run?
Piston Ring
Club Night?
Magnum Rally – Contact POMC
September 2013
01
Club Sunday - Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: BSA
08
Club Ride
TBA SAVVA AGM
15
Piston Ring Swap meeting
18
Club Night?
21/22 Social Vinduro – Clarens
20-24 CMC Convention
October 2013
06
13
16
20
27
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: All other Japanese except Honda
CMC Winter Rally Contact – Pierre 072 513 9432
Club Night?
Piston Ring
Inter Provincial VMX – Venue to be advised
[3]
November 2013
03
10
17
20
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: American Day, Harley Davidson, Indian etc
Club Ride
Piston Ring
AGM
December 2013
01
01
08
13
15
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: Scooter Day
Kiddies Xmas Party
Club ride in aid of charity
Chairman’s Braai
Piston Ring
Please note that all CMC rides meet at the Clubhouse at 08:00 and depart at 09:00
unless otherwise stated.
Welcome New Members
Nico Dreyer - BMW
Rob James - Honda and Yamaha
Fergus Mcloskey – Harley Davidson
Arlindo da Costa - BMW, BSA and Harley Davidson
Ron Bac - Triumph and BMW
Allan Houston - BMW
Dion Marks - Suzuki, BMW, Honda and Harley Davidson
Tyrone Marks - No bike yet
Notice Board
NB: Bank Transfers and/or Direct Deposits - Please note that when paying any amount
into the Club’s account, use your name as a reference. Without this information we cannot
reconcile who paid what for which. It would help tremendously if your transfer/deposit
confirmation could be faxed to the Treasurer on 086 672 8941 with full details!
[4]
Editorial
Hit the ground running…
Holy cow! What the heck happened to January? Just the other day I was lounging around,
thinking about how I was going to ease back into my work and start the year off slowly.
You know, stop and smell the daisies and what not. Next thing I know it’s February and I’m
in desperate need of a holiday.
However, if you think about it, there’s been a hell of a lot on the go. Yes, we’ve all had to
go back to the grindstone to earn our keep, but there’s also been a lot of play time too. The
first weekend in January saw the respectable gentlemen of the club taking part in the 18th
Swartbrand run. Eighteenth! That is quite a record considering it’s an unofficial club run.
Regardless, it was an absolute blast and everyone enjoyed themselves. Thank you to Colin
for organising yet another awesome event to get the SAE40 running again. Club Sunday
followed, with attendance at a high, although the crowds petered out towards midday. I’m
guessing the Swartbranders made a swift departure for home to catch up on the zzzz’s that
they’d forfeited the night before.
There was also a very successful club run on the 13th to Kittyhawk airfield, with a pleasantly
large crowd of riders. What a pleasure it would be if all of the club’s runs were so well
attended. At Kittyhawk the guys tucked in to a well deserved brekky while ogling the
various aircraft scattered about the place. Classic bikes, pretty aeries, good graze; what more
could you ask for? There are a number of other great rides planned for this year and I highly
recommend you to join in the fun. If you’d like a bit more info please contact the event
organisers listed at the back of the magazine.
Speaking of which, I am absolutely blown away by all the responses and support that I’ve
been receiving from our members. In this issue you’ll find a number of wonderfully written
and very entertaining articles penned by your fellow tribesmen. Who’d have thought that we
have such diversified talent in this club: the ability to build beautiful classic motorcycles from
rusted scrap and then write such amazing articles?
My gratitude also goes out to everyone who has
sent their compliments for the magazine. It really
does make this job a lot easier.
If you have any suggestions for the magazine or
you’d like to recount your tales of daring, please
do send them my way.
So it seems we’re well and truly on our way into
2013, but I reckon it’s just going to get better and
better. Bring it on...
Till then,
Keep it upright!
T!M
[5]
Perpetual Motion
The club run in January to Kitty Hawk was well attended with some 20 odd participants.
This is a good sign.
The club run in February takes the form of the Pre JD and Summer Rally.
Delivery of the January Master Link was very late, this was due to the Xmas holidays and the
magazine was only printed during the first week in January.
We urge you to receive your magazine via email, not only does this save on printing costs,
but you will receive your magazine well before club Sunday
The JD this year has a record of 200 competitors. The start of the event is 7 March from the
Carnival Mall with administration on 6 March
We wish all the JD riders and especially the CMC JD riders God Speed for the JD.
Safe Riding
Pierre
[6]
Bike of the Month
The Bike of the Month winner for January
belongs to Cousin Kev, better known to
you and I as Graham Kendall.
It’s a 1958 R60, restored several years ago
and hasn’t skipped a beat once since.
Why is it the bike of the month?
Simple.
As you can see it was fully loaded on Club
Sunday after having just returned from yet
another successful Swartbrand run. It
looked cool at the club; it looked even
better on the road. It’s beautiful classic
and it sees regular action. Isn’t that what
it’s all about?
[7]
News
[8]
[9]
News
Road Trip to the Cape
Members of the Classic Motorcycle Club and a couple of friends will be embarking on a 5/6
week road trip (by Kombi) during Feb/ March 2013.
The circular route will take in the Northern Cape, Kuruman, Upington and Springbok to
Alexander Bay down the West coast to Cape Town where we will spend a few days before
returning via Route 62 parts of the Karoo Kimberley and Bloemfontein to Joburg. Naturally
the tour will include visits to many interesting places including a visit to Ronnie’s Sex Shop,
a couple of mountain passes etc. The food/ petrol kitty is R190 per person per day. We will
be staying at campsites and self catering establishments; we will share camping costs.
Participants can use their own tents, hire cottages or rooms or even stay in B+B'. There are
many friends and classic motorcycle owners we want to visit~ to have a laugh a joke and
have a few dops with! They might have cheap accommodation options for us. The itinerary is
not cast in stone and we would love to meet fellow enthusiasts and collectors on our
adventure. If you would like us to visit or perhaps come along, please contact Terry Hack on
0826976058
Email alarmlockking@gmail.com
Guess The Bike
This machine was built in 1935 in an attempt to design a more streamlined and modified
version of the Megola front wheel drive motorcycle. The engine displacement was the same
as the Megola, but it was much lighter and more simplified than a standard 100cc motorcycle
of the time. This is the only known example, shown here after it was captured by U.S.
Troops.
Can you guess what it is? The answer is on the last page.
[10]
Narrative
Classic Rides [musings of a biker - senior citizen division]
I was introduced to the DJ Commemorative Run in 1974 by a fellow “Eskomite” (Eskom
Employee) by the name of Dave Sansom; I have never owned a bike that would qualify for
the event so I have never entered the actual run. This has not stopped me being part of the
event on the periphery. On my first few trips, I was there as an un-official support for Dave as
he piloted His late twenties Chater-Lea along the old road from Durban to Johannesburg. In
later events I assisted with marshaling, scruitineering, and many odd jobs that allowed me to
feel part of the event. I came to regard the DJ run as a special break away time where I could
leave the hustle and bustle of the daily grind far behind me and journey back in time to
another age. The joy of watching more than a hundred pre 1937 motorcycles running at
roughly one minute intervals from the saddle of your bike is an experience that is hard to
describe. To be at the first marshal point out of Newcastle early on the Saturday morning.
And hear the silence broken by the exhaust note from a 500cc Velocette. A wave from the
rider as he passes the point where his time is recorded.
This event was very popular with spectators along the route. Many turned out to wave the
field on and the riders will testify to the hundreds of acknowledging waves they made as they
went through the towns and villages along the way. I have fond memories of this event and
the breakaway is therapeutic. This year is the 100th anniversary of the first race held in 1913
and is therefore a very special event hence the bumper entry. I hope all goes well and runs
according to plan. I hope to be able to do this special run, and many more of these events,
encouraged by the ages of some of the competitors I expect to enjoy a good few more God
willing.
Another classic ride introduced to me by Dave Sansom was the Fairest Cape Tour. I have
wanted to ride this event for some time but my plans had to be shelved for one reason or
another.
2011 was the exception; I managed to get there and in fact enter the event! I was delighted
by the event; it is run through country that can only be described as “motorcycling heaven”.
Add to this mild clear weather and a near perfect experience was enjoyed by all. I will try not
to miss another one of these events. Based at Goudni-Spa near Worcester, the two day event
ran like well-oiled clock. Well done to the winner Gavin Walton from the CMC. Yes a rider
from our club! I was quick to quip to the Cape Town based competitors you may have the
Currie Cup! But the Fairest Cape trophy is in Gauteng! (Not the first time either) but the
banter was good natured between enthusiasts with a common interest.
I conclude by wishing all competitors a good trouble free “J-D”
David Watson
[11]
Events
Submitted 13 01 02
CMC
A BELATED TRIBUTE TO THE CHAIRMAN’S XMAS CHEER
The rain sluiced down. The bowling green
usually bedecked with hunnerts of
motorcycles gleaming in sunshine, was a
swamp. Instead there were two bedraggled
rows of cars opposite the museum.
A
huddle of hardened hangers-on harangued
his honor Chairman Pierre who was busy
braaiing boeries and mountains of other
meat over the charcoal konka... Crouched
together under the tin roof were all the usual
suspects quaffing Windhoek Quarts and
offering specious advice, particularly
Roulstone and Eicon-branded son Iain. (The T Shirt Priscilla, not a hot iron…) Having just
replaced the Le Mans clutch after an encounter with a hot Audi of the second-place kind,
Brian has trashed his own transmission, and attended the proceedings in kneebrace and
crutches. But should be roadworthy soon. Colin was recruiting for the Swartbrand already
oversubscribed and was on about Rustenburg, popular though the route is, being unable to
accommodate a hunnert plus punters any more… Hamish was punting the scenic route and
accommodation of Buffelspoort after good experience at Convention…
And the rain poured down
Out of the murk appeared a solitary headlight accompanied by the
offbeat bark of a VTwin motorcycle with vestigial baffles.
Conversation stopped. The dripping apparition made its way
across the bowling green in the drenching rain and pulled up at
the braai. Genuine, Priscilla - someone had come on a bike – and
was immediately dubbed ‘The Token Motorcyclist’ - by the
vagrants milling round. Removal of the wet helmet revealed the
smiling visage of long last seen member Roy Gradwell…!
Thought he’d dropped off the edge of the planet. Lekker to see
one of the original club characters – he of the giant bedroll on the
back of an original Sixties Goldwing, and now arriving on one of
Honda’s most popular Jap bikes of the era – the 500cc 50HP
pushrod watercooled shaftdrive VTwin CX500.
Hey Priscilla – the steak, chops, and wors were free!!! And the pap, sauce, tatties, and the
salads, and the ice cream, cheesecake, jellies and sweets. This was the Classic Club’s
traditional Chairman’s braai instigated by Pierre a few years back, where club members are
invited to celebrate the end of yet another successful year. Non-members can buy tickets.
The first faint rumour that Geoff Burton-Moore might be driving to the Braai had spread like
wildfire and had brought a cast of thousands out of the woodwork… Before you could say
‘designated driver’ he was overwhelmingly voted in!! The Burton-Moore Bus Service
brought in a load of slavering freeloading imbibers – the tone only raised by ladies Heather
and Athol…
[12]
Arriving we head to the bar for some liquid Xmas cheer – all except Geoff – “The first
halfhour is the worst…”
What is so special about these occasions is, of course, the people…
First encountered was Ian Campbell cheerful as ever and no doubt planning another megatrip
on the 125 Transafrica minibike; then Fred Tofts still recovering from his prang but heading
coastwise; and Mike White - one of the tiny handful of Okes who were the cause of it all starting the CMC, Priscilla. In his ongoing love affair with the new Guzzi SP he has already
reengineered the Guzzi drive shaft through a useful gear and spline outfit in Atlasville.
There was much reliving of early race meetings with racer Mike Maloney, the proud owner
of an original of DUCATI Motormechanica racing badge…
Derek Lockwood our hero who relentlessly campaigns one of the least user-friendly classics
of all time – the DBD 34 BSA Gold Star - cornered me that I have been misspelling his name
for a hunnert years Priscilla – many apologies! And the bar scene buzzed – check us
eruditely discussing the current criminalization of the taxpaying classes with Neil; Tony
White recovering from recent roof-removal-by-hail and already planning the run down to
Margate’s Africa Week on the Buell; and Rita and Antionette molesting the queue waiting for
food and…
Then into the dining area and it always amazes me how a bike club can produce a feast so
well laid out and generous as this one was. The tables were groaning under multitudinous
hotpots bowls and dishes of graze and even after most of us had guzzled thirds there were
still stacks left…
Boy did we try to eat our annual subs in food. Wot a feast!
And the elegant dining was to the strains of Ken Motormouth’s music of the Classic era appropriately ‘Put on my ole BlueJeans and go motorbikeriding in the sun and the wind and
the rain…’ accompanied by the traditional appearance of Elvis – no Priscilla he didn’t look
like he had just been dug up…
Don Burnette and Vivienne our
retired Jumbo Pilot and Velo spares
purveyor of yore recounted the BEE
bewilderment and buffoonery blatant
in the airways Pilot Training Program
and convinced us all to fly by
steamboat on our next overseas trip.
And Pierre and Gwyneth were
holding court at the bar relating that
next year’s 30th anniversary DJ was
already bursting at the seams with entrants…
And there was Geoff wiping away a silent tear everytime a Windhoek went past.
Cornered Bob Harpin and threatened him that IMOC has a horse’s head in the freezer waiting
if he doesn’t produce another of his excellent Morini articles. But he was resolutely backed
up by Carol and daughters so we had to put the H’s H on ice. Bob is on a major mission
plowing through the amazing mass of material from Shalto Rothbart (which included a £200
book free!) and also researching the ancient origins of the CMC with Mike White. The
search is on for the first seven ish’s of the CMC Mag…
[13]
And Garth, accompanied by Mrs.
Garth, was on about the amazing
enthusiasm of his kids for Classics.
They are busy prepping and ‘boxing
smart’ (modern electrics, Priscilla)
the old irons for a forthcoming tour
of Swaziland. Garth also is already
looking forward to the DJ – “but not
to enter, Pierre, just to ride with…”
And
Colin
Swartbrand
has
discovered the perfect antidote for
eliminating annoying backseat driver advice. (1) Buy designated driver (Anne) a Bailley’s
Irish to calm nerves. (2) Load self up with beer. (3) Pass out silent on back seat.
Midnight we board the B-M Bus back to Bedfordview and all settled down in Geoff’s lounge
and helped him make up for lost time with the JohnnyReds and a tin (well there was a big
bottle inside the tin…) of Bains old Cape Whisky. We relived all of the early days of Jacks
and Rubes with loud Britbombers thundering up and down JHB Main Street and the Guzzi’s
Pantahs and Beveldrives of Richard Knowles of KMM countering with the Italian invasion…
until four ayem…
A round of thanks to Pierre for an excellent occasion.
MerryXmasHappyNewYearallthebestfor2013…
DISLODGED ROCKER
[14]
Events
CMC Charity Run 2012/12/09
Thanks to the tireless efforts of Marlene
Hooper and Co, the CMC’s charity fund
raisers managed to amass a not
inconsiderable amount of money to be
donated to the club’s various beneficiaries,
namely the Edenvale Care Centre, the
South African Guide Dog Association and
Free Me. Of course none of this would
have been possible without your generous contributions. So the next time you’re approached
on Club Sunday by someone bearing a clip board and a smile asking you to buy a raffle
ticket, I implore you to support their noble efforts.
As has become tradition, the final club ride of the year is an
opportunity for the members to see where all the fundraising
goes. The first stop on the run was to the Edenvale Care
Centre, where a cheque for R8000 was handed over to a very
grateful Sister Leigh.
From there, the convoy made its way to the Peri-Peri restaurant
in Edenglen where they were joined by the wonderful people
from the SA Guide Dog Association and Free Me.
After a well deserved breakfast Marlene and Pierre presented
them with their cheques for which they were very grateful.
Here’s a few photographs from the day:
[15]
Open the 1st Sunday
of every month
Open the 1st Sunday
of every month
Spaza Shops open @
09h00 on Club
Sunday.
We have a large
variety of British,
German, Italian &
Japanese spares.
See this space for
future specials.
- 19 -
[16]
Events
CMC Submitted 13 01 11
SWARTBRAND 2013
MAN, but was this a Fest of note!!?
Move over Woodstock - Colin’s
happening is not a run but a biking blast – a celebration kicking
off the New Year, being alive, being on a bike, and being in
good company…
Swartbrand Saturday dawned damp drizzling and depressing –
but that didn’t stop over a hunnert and ten hardy souls turning
up for Colin’s Eighteenth happening. Last year was also the
Main Manne – Gert, Garth, Graham
Eighteenth he told us at the rider’s briefing – “but we made a
and Mr. Swartbrand Colin
mistake…” The rules were simple – no entry fee (not an
official Club run Priscilla) but a sweep donation was in order, no Wimmen, no unner sixteen
lighties, Classics over 25 years old only, and NO SUPERBIKES. Colin Blackburn of the
Copper Barnes Pipe-extending Gang is the originator of the Swartbrand (get it Priscilla?)
with past CMC Chairman Graham Kendall as chief judge and Sergeant-at-Arms (Enforcer,
Priscilla) and the redoubtable Billy Purviss heading up the sweep helped by Martin whose
bike was out of action and had
volunteered his bakkie.
The machinery was magnificent
and where else do you get such
a cross-section of the biking
universe? There were three
Guzzi le Mans - two red and
one blue - a DKW 2000
Wankel (when last did you see
one of those?) and Oom Piet
Maas’ fleet - a 1924 350cc foreand-aft Duggie, 1952 S7
Vereeniging mate on left and 109 other starters
Sunbeam, and 1928 Raleigh DJ
complete with wicker basket.
Triumph Bonneville’s were punted by
Colin and Derek. Velos were fielded
by Des and Dennis, and there were a
pair of delectable retro’s – a Triumph
Thruxton and Ducati 1000S both with
high level exhausts… And of course
stacks of Beemers. And plenty of
Japanese classics headed by Tim
Henry ‘Mr. Vincent’ Kinnear and Des Burton with the
electricstart Velo
[17]
Romans on the - what else? - CBX Six
potter, Barney’s RC1100 and an
immaculate 400 Yammie two-stroke.
Also a scattering of Big Brit Single Ajay’s, Matchie’s and BSA’s… And a characterful
Yellow Harley Sidecar bombing around sounding
sounding like a Dakota taking off… Later on we
were treated to the first glimpse of Boswell’s threepot twostroke single-seat
single seat comfort croozer
project bike… (See sneak preview at the end)
Nine ayem the masses poured out of the Pavillion,
Pavillion hit
the R59 and headed for the Golden Highway and the
Lido for breakfast. It’s been a Long time since I
have ridden with a hunnert bikes of this variety from
stuttering DJ’ers to 200 horse megablasters and it was
quite an experience. The column is in
i constant flux
with fast and slow sorting themselves out, lane
Oom Piet’s 1924 350cc Douglas
changing, jockeying for position in a stream never less
than three bikes wide, while negotiating JHB’s less than perfectly engineered highways.
And there’s the odd confused fugbox enmeshed between the bikes… All went smoothly and
we arrived at the Lido’s well organized parking in good order and still had no takers for the
Purviss backup sweeper service!
Off the bikes and straight into the bar (for
(for mealtickets of course Priscilla) and then brekkie –
they were a bit overloaded in the beginning, but then got their act together…
Chatted to Des Burton still very pleased with the electric start conversion to his Venom.
Reckons it has made it a thoroughly
oroughly usable bike. Busy finishing off a Cammy KSS Velo for
the DJ – a KSS was his first road bike and we reminisced about the times you could still find
a much-used
used Cammy in someone’s shed…
Colin reckoned at the briefing that riding should be in individual groups - good for facing off
the Fuzz and for mutual support. And so it was - from the Lido we all split up - the hardcore
horde heading for Heidelberg Club (those whose names were not on the banned list at the
door!) – others to the Henley Arms
Arms which was the lunchtime gathering point, or to the
afternoon’s further festering ‘fruitshops’ at Nino’s Midvaal Raceway Pub, and the Vaal
Marina Dam Diner. Final destination was Boswell’s Circus (otherwise known as Lake
Avenue Inn Priscilla) where the nightstop was to be.
Latched on to a group including a white
R50 BMW and red Guzzi Le Mans
headed by Allan on the fullhouse
Goldwing going directly to Henley.
We’re doing a good clip along this
lekker little country backroad past
Kliprivier and Hennie Steyle’s little
Beemer is going surprisingly well, but
not fast enough to avoid us all being
passed by a Superbike on its back
wheel…
The sun is now shining
gloriously and we are the first at the
Billy Purviss in action at Henley
‘Henley Arms’ and grab a corner of the
sundeck with good hamburgers and ‘slices’. Ian Hutchinson and boet Jack owner of the
‘Deck’ in Springs reminisce about Ian’s Speedway championships running a lethal 18:1 Jawa
on a witch’s brew of Meths, Toluene, water, and Nitro! Met a hard rider on Thruxton
[18]
Triumph (man, I didn’t get the name) who does a lot of travelling around mines in Africa
“Know your Border Posts…” Good to see Butch, and also Roy Reeny circulating in the now
crowded Pub.
Then the Heidelberg contingent pitched and they pack the place out – the numbers were now
swelled to 130 bikes – all closely followed by
Purviss and the chase crew who helped with
some minor repairs while the rest of us
imbibed…
Getting out of the congested
parking lot was another matter with some
finesse required but made it and head straight
for Boswell’s famous Disneyland - I mean
Early Arrivals
Arrival
Deneysville - Pub.
Here we were enthusiastically welcomed by
staff, signs, and a gateguard instructed to exclude anything
anything not Swartbrander… The clever
ones had organized rooms well in advance, but for the rest of us lawns had been mowed for
tenting, and upstairs a carpeted lounge set aside for the bedrollers.
The punters started pouring in from the other hostelries just
ju after two pee-em
em and one Oke
got off his bike in full kit and just walked straight into the pool – does this every year…
Altogether about fifty bikes pitched at Boswell’s, mainly classics with at least half being
Beemers (tells you a story?) Chat with Henry –
Maureen’s kneeop now successful, and he reckons the
Vincent work is booked out for months ahead and he is
battling to find time to put a new piston in his own
Comet racer for Zwartkops…
Later in the afternoon the Purviss team rolls in and puts
up a tent city…
The gateguard wasn’t briefed on maniacs so Jan Smook’s
ex-Vuilseun
Vuilseun Sheldon got in and was one of the first into
the pool but using a cossie this time though. Had a
problem with a steroid muscleman serenading a female
Barney’s RC1100, rare DKW Wankel, and Oom
coz outside his gate at three ayem – but the oke was too
Piet’s S7 at Valley Inn
big to chase… Sympathies with Jan Smook’s recent
setback but seems to be coming right. Had a chance to
examine Dennis’
is’ little Café Velo (he has been helped by Alan Harris) and it is a beaut. Did
you see the belt primary drive shoehorned into the notoriously narrow Velo chaincase??
Jollers Frank, Hennie, Bertus, Thys, Des, Gerrie and Thruxton rider…
[19]
The honourable Houston, just
back from his overseas foray,
pitched on an R100RS and
gooied bedroll into the lounge.
Reckons the UK is no go.
Derek “I am not a crane!” says
last year he had some difficulty
removing his tent from the ’71
Orange oil-in-frame
frame Bonnie
(wonder
der why?) and so dossed
down in Hamish’s palatial tent.
This year he didn’t even bring a
tent, simply repeating the
performance again …
Braai fires were lit in the early
evening – the Packs were great and
is there anything that much beats
eating lekker braai in good company
around bar and pool in a Bikeorientated garden setting? And
man is Boswell’s bike orientated –
museum (enjoying good
attendance), Domiracer on display,
Dennis departing early morning on the little Café Velo
signed photos of biking greats all
over the pub…
The Prizegiving was handled by Graham after judging which took place at the fourth Pub
visit - so wot the Sergeant-at-Arms said was final Priscilla!
For the fourth time Oom Piet Maas won oldest bike and rider on the Duggie at 165 years.
Youngest on the oldest bike was Garth’s son Kyle on the Wicker Raleigh, and proud dad
Garth hisself took ‘Biggest oil-leak’ on his Matchless G80, as well as biggest tribe on oldest
bikes (other son Ryan was on the ex-Colin 1946 TJ Ajay).
Gerhard took longest trip on his R100RS from Middelburg. And to much applause Colin
was awarded best Classic for his 1969 Bonneville – should not have been eligible but you
don’t mess with the Sergeant-at-Arms or popular opinion! He drank his prize in one shot…
The Bar scene reveling roistering and razzling went on late into the night.
The live music (would have been a bit kak if it was dead music Priscilla) by Ivan and Karen
of Cold Turkey was great – and made the scene. Loved the old stuff - appropriately they
played ‘Locomotive Breath’ - by this time most of the bikers’ breath would have stopped a
locomotive… Also the Marilyn Monroe tribute - ‘Candle in the Wind’ and Jethro Tull and
Fleetwood Mac and my own personal favourite biking anthem ‘Lily the Pink’ - first heard on
a sick Velo riding down to the third Buffalo…
Barney who now prefers BMW’s to Urals had loaned his R80GS to Robbie – ‘best
Toolmaker around’ - and after he convinced me to change to Hansa we discussed Darwin’s
theory for Bikers (will explain later Priscilla). Says he has relocated his origin of the
species from Balfour to a permenant residence at Vaal Marina. Tough life!
Garth was vibing to the beat of the band and doing a running commentary on anything and
everything… And hey was there socializing between groups from the four corners - nothing
like beer and a common interest in bikes to bring the okes together… Festering finished
with a bout of arm-wrestling at 3.30 and the last revelers crawled off – anywhere where there
was a cushion, a Gardenbench, a Gardenswing, a welcome mat, a carpet or even where there
wasn’t – one passed out on the steps…
Next morning was one of those sparkling crystal lakeside mornings with sunbeams slanting
through the shrubbery. Five ayem saw the more healthy already stirring to stand round with
mugs of coffee and guess what - talk bikes. The tents were packed and one by one the early
morning travelers departed into the dawn for breakfast at the Classics or Harvard Café. Man
it was beautiful.
[20]
Later, a lot later, something strange started happening. You know that movie where the
Zombies come crawling out of the graves? Well, Priscilla, arising from all over there were
badly bent corpses creeping out of all the little hotel nooks and crannies. There was some
serious pain…
Barney and
Bloodymary…
Morning already?
Eina!
Those who could eat partook of the excellent Valley Inn brekkie. Valley Inn have a great
scheme where you skep up stacks of what you like and this oke David eyeballs your plate and
tunes you a price – how’s that for a la carte, Priscilla?
Eventually its cheers to John and Charmaine and hit the highway just as the next wave of
Breakfast runners pulls in… Take off out of Deneysville and after the initial pathetic
potholed pooproad Freestateside you’re over the damwall onto the scenic old but patched
backroad. This winds through verdant lakeside woods and Vaaldam holiday resorts, and
then parallels Suikerbosrand through Highveld grassland to Heidelberg. Yeh, I know
twenny strong men made it back to the CMC - but this
is one of my favourites - and suddenly you remember
why you enjoy bombing the backroads through the
early morning on an old classic no matter where…
Despite the Superbikes this was a major reaffirmation
of Classic Motorcycling as we know it and also a total
blast - as Colin says - all you need to do is survive it!!
DISLODGED ROCKER
Boswell Comfort Croozer
MOTOR BIKE EXHAUST PROBLEMS?
I REPAIR AND MAKE UP EXHAUST SYSTEMS FOR ALL TYPES OF
BIKES & QUADS
STAINLESS OR MILD STEEL
WHY IMPORT - WHEN YOU CAN SUPPORT LOCAL
PHONE ANDRÈ ON 072 456 6161
andre.exhausts@vodamail.co.za
[21]
Events
THE SECOND RUNNING OF THE 18th SWARTBRAND
A heartfelt thanks and congratulations to Colin for yet another great Swartbrand run.
At the preliminary riders briefing Colin pointed out his error in miscalculating how many
runs had taken place up to last year. He had therefore billed last year’s run as the 18th when it
was actually the 17th. As I am a believer in the old school thinking of not changing history
just because it suits you, last year’s run should remain the 18th and this year the second
running of the 18th. Next year it all comes right!
As Colin made mention this is not a race so getting to Deneysville first is not the objective.
The run, if properly paced, should take as long as it takes. It is maybe worth noting that for
me this was from home to Vaal Marina where I had to leave the fun behind it took about 9
hours. I got home in 1 hour 20 minutes and that is the whole point of the event.
There was one part of the day which has to receive negative comment. What part of no
women and no superbikes is unclear? At breakfast I overheard some guys complaining that
one of their number who turned up with his wife returned home after hearing Colin’s repeat
of these two simple rules. They claim to have never heard of these “restrictions”. In the past 6
years that I have attended the Swartbrand I have never seen a notice for the event that does
not state these “restrictions” and Colin has never failed to repeat them at rider briefing. The
other problem is non classic bikes. From a rough guess I would say that this year there were
more moderns than classics; we even had a Big Boy scooter! My “A” and back up “B” rides
were both out of action so I was forced to ride my modern which is still 20 years old. I had
the courtesy to clear this with Colin beforehand and wonder how many others made the same
attempt. Are these just further manifestations of the current attitude of “stuff you and your
rules; I will do what I want because I want to”?
Complaints aside I had a great day out; met some old friends and made some new ones; had a
most enjoyable ride at times alone and other times in a group and overall had a memorable
day out. I hope that everybody who attended feels the same way and for those that didn’t
attend think about coming next year.
Once again, well done Colin.
Allan Horwell
[22]
[23]
Feature
Looking back
The great Scots poet Robert Burns once famously quoted that “ the best laid plans o’ mice
and men gang aft agley” which was his Scottish and poetical way of saying that things very
rarely turn out the way you think they’re going to. This quotation is never brought home to
me more than when I arrive at the CMCC clubhouse on the first Sunday of the month. If you
told me 35 years ago that this is what things were going to be like in 2013 I would have told
you to start taking more water with it. You see this huge organisation known as the Classic
Motorcycle Club actually began like this.
About 44 years ago the late Duncan Robertson and myself were attempting to make a go of a
little enterprise called D & M Developments. This company, (if one can call two blokes
hacking out lumps of aluminium in a garage workshop from 6.30pm to nearly midnight every
evening, a company), was started for the fabrication and hopefully marketing of bespoke
custom components mainly for the “café racer” types of motorcycle. E.G. clip-on handlebars,
“bacon slicer” wheel discs, rearset footrest conversions, instrument panels, ”swebak”
exhausts and Triton engine plates. Now the large proportion of these components were
fabricated for the owners of British motorcycles. Those were the days when Japanese
motorcycles were viewed pretty much as Chinese motorcycles are today. I.E. scorned and
distrusted by the “main manne” and feared by those whose market they were invading.
So it’s not difficult to see that our idea of forming the CMCC, or to put it another way,
attempting to spur on the preservation what were to become known as Classic motorcycles,
was not totally driven by selflessness altruism and nostalgia. I have to admit that at the time
there was a commercial motive as well.
So we contacted some 16 people whom we knew had in some degree an interest in British
motorcycles and set up a meeting one Saturday afternoon in September 1969. (Please note,
not 1968 which seems to have somehow crept into Club records, I know not how. I don’t
suppose it’s going to change currant club affairs one iota but I do like to get things right)
On the fatefull day 9 people turned up. They were in no particular order, Duncan and me,
Ken Leiman ( Vincent, still in the land of the living but left the club about 25 years ago)
Hugh o’Connor (Guzzi V7), Clive Edwards (Velo’s and Ducati’s), Geoff Hampton-Cole
(Vincent), John Wessels (Rebsa, Vincent special, Douglas), Hylton Abbot (Rudge)( all those
guys are sadly no longer with us), and Nigel Bridge (Triumph, only came to the first meeting,
never saw him again). Duncan went to the big classic rally in the sky about 18 months ago
which seems to leave me as the “last green bottle” I try not to dwell too much on this!
Another confession. D&M Developments never sold anything commercially to anyone in the
CMCC. Trying to get the club going caused us to have to let the enterprise to fade quietly
into the background. The sad fact was that even at that point we were coming to realize that it
was never going to work anyway, we couldn’t fight the big boys. For example, we were
cutting corners a bit to fabricate a pair of clipon handlebars for around R6.00 Rube’s was
importing, a frankly superior product from England for R3,50! ( they showed us their
invoices). We just didn’t have the economies of scale to let us make it work.
[24]
See what I mean about “the best laid plans”? Instead of creating a nice little market for our
components we had created a lot of voluntary work for ourselves canvassing members,
running meetings and events and writing (literally) a newsletter, all on top of re-building and
riding our own bikes. The club newsletter incidentally has been in existence from day one. A
regular newsletter was something to which we were totally committed right from the start as
being absolutely essential to the efficient running of any club. We at least got that right.
Way back in the 60’s and 70’s one of the better American motor cycle magazines was, in my
not so humble opinion, Cycle. For some time it ran stories about enduro racing written by one
Ed Hertfelder, that were genuinely very funny. Not slapstick or cruel he simply had a way
like all the best humourists of singling out the kind of situations with which many were able
to identify and turning them into eye wateringly funny prose. He invented a phrase in one of
his pieces (well he used it for the first time I had ever seen it anyway) when he stated that in a
motorcycling context,” the more things change, the more they stay the same”.
Initially this may sound a bit weird but it contains a well hidden truth. This is something else
that was brought home to me whilst attending a club meeting recently.( Have to watch out for
these meetings they’re bloody dangerous). After the main business was over the chairman as
is customary asked for any other comments. Almost instantly our new editor requested that
please would the members support him with contributions for the magazine Well there it was!
Instant déjà vu! I can remember as clearly as if it was yesterday, sitting at the committee table
at CMCC meetings over 40 years ago and making the identical request month in and month
out. Ed Hertfelder wherever he is must have smiled quietly and nodded sagely.
Here we have the CMCC, 43.5 years old. Lets compare it to when we started. We had about
12-15 members the subscription fee was R6.00 per annum and we didn’t even have a bank
account, let alone have any money. Today, dare I suggest, we are in terms of membership and
finance one of the biggest if not the biggest motorcycle club in sub Saharan Africa (maybe
even perhaps the oldest?) We have probably 30 times as many members as we had at the
beginning. We sure as taxes have a much larger than a 30 times bigger bank balance and
,whisper it, our subs are much more than 30 times as large. We run a nationally acclaimed
1000 bike show every year we run a huge spares scheme, we have a very viable and
comprehensive library and indeed a permanent clubhouse. Couldn’t be more different than 40
years ago could it?
And yet the editor still can’t get contributions from the members. Makes you think doesn’t it?
The more things change the more they stay the same!
Mike White
[25]
Classic Bike
AJS 16M Rebuild
I purchased my 1952 AJS 16M about 8 years ago; at the time it started easily but smoked like
an old steam train and had a very sticky gearbox. Not being a great mechanic myself, I had
various people look at the bike over the years. The bike now has a fully functional gearbox
(the original problem being that one of the shafts was bent, due to the gearbox having two
second gears, instead of a second and third gear) is almost oil-tight, and has just had a new
piston fitted, a new GPM that I sourced from Peter’s Classic Bikes in Holland. The biggest
mystery with this piston is the crown diameter being larger than the skirt diameter, with the
result that the sleeve had to be over-bored to just get the piston to fit. The result of this is that
there is very little compression, so the bike does not want to start.
As you can see from the picture, the bike is very complete and I am really keen to get it
running again. A lot of the guys at the CMC have been very helpful in terms of advice
(Thanks to everyone who has assisted) , but now I would like someone to work on the bike to
advise whether it will run with a GPM Piston, or whether I should purchase an alternative
like a JD piston from Australia.
The international
blogs have not
been particularly
helpful on the
choice of pistons,
so some down to
earth advice would
be most welcome.
I shall working in
the UK during
January but then
will be back in
Johannesburg
in
February.
Is
anyone would like
to take on this work
(as a paying job of
course),
please
contact me on
irvines@iburst.co.za and we can discuss how to proceed.
The one plus has been to increase my knowledge of who has what AJS spares and to be
pleasantly surprised that they arrive from overseas intact and in good time – well done the SA
Post Office.
Thanks
Roy Irvine
[26]
[27]
Feature
A BIT ON THE SIDE
By Bruce Watts
It came to my attention that the motorcycle world recently celebrated 100 years of the
Watsonian sidecar. For many motorcyclists of younger years than I, this probably means very
little, but for the older generation it is a memorable milestone. I am sure that many of us can
recall sitting in, or riding with a sidecar of one kind or another. Being of British decent, I
have probably witnessed just about all kinds of sidecar motorcycle sport, from the madmen of
the TT, to the grass track, trials and scrambles brigade.
I recall as a young boy in 1963, sitting on a stone wall on a left hand bend of the TT circuit (
Barregarrow, I think ) with my legs dangling onto the track, when suddenly a flying crash
helmet of one Herr Deubelon his BMW passed inches below my feet. I forgot that the
Germansput the sidecar on the right hand side of the bike!!!! I lived to remember that fact and
increase my support of Chris Vincent and his “correctly built” BSA.
My earliest recollection goes back to the late fifties however, in the days when a motorcycle
and sidecar was the “bread and butter” mode of transport for many working class families.
Motorcars were still beyond the financial reach of the masses. My father only bought his first
car in 1960 or thereabouts, having climbed the engineering ladder, from being a humble
welder in the Liverpool shipyards and the Douglas Motorcycle factory in Kingswood, Bristol.
If you own a Douglas Dragonfly, the frame was probably welded by my late father. I
remember a Watsonian sidecar, resembling a small a Citroen 2CV, being bolted to the “left
hand side” of a Matchless motorcycle. I have been told by my elder brother, seen in the photo
below, that we went on many holidays in this ensemble, in the days before the motorway
network really existed. It took practically a whole day to get from Bristol to Liverpool, where
my father’s family lived. I can only imagine what it must have been like for my father to
attempt this, on the myriad of then B and C roads and in the lovely British weather!! They are
not the easiest things to ride at the best of times. I still own my father’s 1958 Ariel Square
Four, complete with Watsonian “Palma” sidecar.
For many, the sidecar is an anomaly, but for some it is a vivid memory.
For those of you who pride themselves in motorcycle trivia, try and name the famous drivers
of the racing outfits in the next six photos. Answers are at the end of this article.
[28]
[29]
[30]
The next few photos are showing some other uses for a motorcycle and sidecar.
[31]
[32]
Answers to the trivia quiz.
Photo 1 – Max Duebel.
Photo 2 – Bill Boddice( 1) .
Photo 3 – Florian Camathias.
Photo 4 – Helmut Fath( 1 ) and Pip Harris ( 2).
Photo 5 – Chris Vincent.
Photo 6 – Rolf Biland
As a final bit of fun, who can name all the riders in this photo???
Clues as follows:
No.36 was the first man to lap the IOM on a British single (Norton) at over 100mph average.
No.47 was born in Derbyshire England.
No. 19 was born in Glasgow Scotland.
No. 6 You should all know without a clue!!!
[33]
[34]
History
A BRIEF HISTORY OF KILLARNEY
The start of a 1929 race on the beach at
Blaauwberg, not all that far from where
Killarney is today
The Killarney racing circuit in its present
form is now over 50 years old – the first socalled Cape Grand Prix took place there on
17 December 1960 – under the auspices of
the Western Province Motorcycle and Car
Club.
Motor racing in the Cape started with the
very first meeting in 1903, held on the old
Green Point cycle track, near where the World Cup football stadium is today.
Killarney is first mentioned in a competitive sense, when a road race to Saldanha Bay and
back was flagged off from the Killarney Hotel.
An uncontrolled event run on open roads – such as they were in those far-off days –
participants were warned to beware of any stray animals, pedestrians and donkey carts they
might encounter along the route.
The only genuine circuit in these parts during the early years was built at Pollsmoor during
the 1930s. With four boringly long parallel straights joined by a series of tight corners and a
lap distance of over seven kilometres, it was designed to be converted into a housing estate
should the racing venture fail. And with such an abysmal layout it would certainly have
achieved its secondary objective had WW2 not resulted in it being converted into an army
camp and eventually the prison it still is today.
A mention of several of the great characters who raced at Killarney must include Stirling
Moss who won that first Cape Grand Prix. But he came nowhere near Paul Hawkins, Sarel
van der Merwe, Doug Serrurier, Dan Joubert or Dave van Wyk, when it came to sheer
audacity and impudence.
Hawkins, in particular, was always partial to the great Australian adjective. He had a turn of
phrase that could generate enough heat to singe the cassock off any man of the cloth.
Worth remembering is how close the club came to losing its circuit at one stage, before the
efforts of dedicated members and friends got it back on its feet. Were it not for an oversight
on the part of its major creditor, the Cape Town City Council, it would long back, have
ceased to exist.
[35]
[36]
Marketplace
For Sale
Honda VFR 800 - Less than 15000km on the clock, two new tyres, FSH, Honda Custom
touring Panniers (visible in the picture) Price R 65 000 negotiable
David Watson
082 551 5147
I have a complete set of ‘On Two Wheels’ (all issues, in binders, with all extras filed
separately, i.e. the removable covers which incorporated a 48 page ‘Service and
Maintenance’ section, a 108 page ‘Great Riders of the Past’ section, and a 22 page ‘The
Super Stars’ section.) Please see attached photo in this regard. Condition is excellent, the
only potential issue being the ‘creasing’ that some of the issues exhibit as a result of the mail
system.
If anyone is willing to make me a reasonable offer for these, they can contact me on
082-495-3378. Thanks - Japie Strauss
I have a XS650 Yamaha. All standard original equipment. Stood in garage for 10 years. Won
prizes on CMC 1000 Bike Show.
It is SAVVA Registered, licences and running.
Forced sale due to my retirement. R30 000.00 on C O.
Phone Gordon : 0718875538
[37]
Wanted
Battery box cover for BSA- B25 Fleetstar 1970-71 model
For Barry Allen on 082 494 9678
Honda ATC200X, ATC250R or ATC350X three wheeler (not the Big Red models)
Please contact Robert on 072 412 5440 or 083 357 7107
Honda C110 Petrol tank and any other spares.
Please contact Gary on 083 226 8456
Norton 1946 model 18 back wheel or parts thereof. Cash or select from quite a few Norton
bits.
Contact John Wakeling cell 082 457 8327 or home 011 768 6793 work 011 433 8502.
Services
Reg Assist. Need help with getting your machine on the road? John Muller is able to help.
Services offered include:
•
•
•
Trailer introductions, Licensing & Registrations
Change of Ownership
Advice on Natis & Roadworthy Problems
Contact John on 083 239 2293
Stolen
Good day, my name is Ina Sage from Rustenburg. I ask for big, big help please. Our
Triumph Rocket 3 Tourer was stolen in Rustenburg on the 30th of October 2012.
Engine no: 3340956
Vin No: SMTTLC35358338476
Reg No: HXD185NW
If possible, please be on the look-out where ever you may go. The side stand was hand made
by my husband. Photo's attached.
Thank you
Ina Sage
0735135910
[38]
Library
The CMC library now holds a copy of most of the CMC magazines from the inception of the
club but a couple of editions are missing.
Can anybody assist in completing the full set? The magazines missing are:
•
Number 1 to number 7 which was from May 1970 to November 1970.
•
January 1981, January 1990 (although these might have been incorporated in the
December editions but were not stated as such) and August 2007.
I do not have the following, recent copies (in hard copy): 2010 May, July, August,
September and December plus January to July 2011.
If anybody has any motorcycle related books or magazines that they would be prepared to
donate to the CMC library please contact the librarian or one of the committee members.
Thanks
Bob Harpin
Charity
Gwyneth Cronje is looking for donations of wool for use in a charity project. If you are able
to donate to the cause please bring wool donations to the club either on Club Sundays or
Wednesday night club meetings for collection. Your assistance would be greatly
appreciated.
For more information contact Gwyneth on 011 849 3008
[39]
[40]
Humour
Drinking
Lady: Do you drink?
Man: Yes.
Lady: How much a day?
Man: Three 6 packs.
Lady: How much per 6 pack?
Man: About R 40.00
Lady: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: 15 years.
Lady: That puts your spending each month at about R 3,600. In one year, it would be R
43,200, correct?
Man: Probably.
Lady: If in 1 year you spend R 43,200.00 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts
your spending at least R 648,000.00, correct?
Man: I guess.
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't drank, that money could have been put in a savings
account and after accounting for compound interest over 15 years, you could have now
bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink?
Lady: No.
Man: So where's your f@*%ing Ferrari?
Just doing my job
I don't know why I was just sacked from my job with The Samaritans.
They wouldn't discuss it with me.
Some guy phoned and said,
"I'm Abdul Mohammed and I'm going to kill myself. I'm lying on the
railway track now waiting for the train to come".
All I said was,
"Remain calm and stay on the line" ... – From Phil Moser
Called to Action
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll
explain later."
The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen
a soldier?"
The nun replied, "He went that way." After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from
under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq."
The nun said, "I understand completely."
The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls.
I don't want to go to Iraq either." Merry Christmas dude.....
[41]
Why your Harley’s service costs so much
A successful gynecologist decides to fulfill his life's dream: give up medical practice and
become a motorcycle mechanic.
So he gets out of the medical business and enrolls at a mechanic's seminar with Harley
Davidson.
After many weeks of training comes the final examination, taking apart and then reassembling a randomly chosen Harley engine.
He grabs his tools and sets to work, but soon he gets worried: while he is still working on the
valve-covers, everybody else is already busy with removing the cylinder heads.
He falls more and more behind, and as he is just starting to put it all back together, everybody
else is already finished.
He manages to put the engine back together, barely in time before the exam ends.
Because it took him so much longer than everybody else, he goes straight to the teacher to
ask how he performed.
"Well," the teacher says, "out of one hundred possible points you scored 150." "But how is
that possible?" the ex-gynecologist asks.
"Well, it breaks down to this: You get fifty points for correctly taking the engine apart. And
you get another fifty points for putting it back together perfectly." "And what did I get those
additional fifty points for?"
"For doing it all through the exhaust."
Look on the positive side
There's the sad story of the poor guy who was in a terrible motorcycle accident. When he
came out from under the anaesthetic, the doctor was leaning over him anxiously.
"Son," he said, "I've got some good news and some bad news.
"The bad news is that your were in a very serious accident, and I'm afraid we had to amputate
both your feet just above the ankle."
"Jesus," gasped the patient.
"What's the good news?"
"The fellow in the next bed over will give you a good price for your boots."
What’s the difference?
A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he
spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike
when the mechanic shouted across the garage "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the
motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and said, "So Doc, look
at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back
in, and when I finish, it works just like new.
So how come I make $39,675 a year, a pretty small salary and you get the really big bucks
($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the
mechanic................................
"Try doing it with the engine running."
[42]
Don’t mess with a biker
A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:
• Officer: May I see your driver's license?
• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag
when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and
stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was
quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense
situation:
• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in
them.
• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't
have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in
the saddle bags.
• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
Why Motorcycles are better than women
Your motorcycle doesn't get upset when you forget it's birthday.
• You don't have to talk to your motorcycle after you ride it.
• You can choke your motorcycle.
• Your motorcycle doesn't get mad when you ignore it for a month or so.
• Motorcycles don't get jealous if you come home with grease under your fingernails.
• Motorcycles don't snore.
• Your motorcycle won't wake you up at 3:00 AM and ask you if you love it.
• Your motorcycle won't leave you for another rider.
• You don't have to pay child support / alimony to an ex-motorcycle.
• If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride
it again.
• If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
• If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
• If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
• If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
• If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
• If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
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• If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
• It's always OK to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
• Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
• Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
• Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
• Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
• Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
• Motorcycles don't have parents.
• Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
• Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle
magazines.
• Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
• Motorcycles last longer.
• Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
• Motorcycles' curves never sag.
• New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get
them.
• When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
• You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
• You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
• You can ride a Motorcycle any time of the month.
• You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
• You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
• You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
• You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think
that • Motorcycles are equals.
• You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
• You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
• You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is worn.
• Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
• Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
• Your Motorcycle doesn't car what you're wearing when you take it out.
• Wearing two fresh rubbers makes riding a bike MORE enjoyable.
• The rashes you get from motorcycles go away without those painful IM Penicillin shots.
• One gets in no trouble for storing disassembled pieces of the motorcycle in the basement.
• Disassembling the motorcycle is done out of pleasure rather than need.
• Motorcycles always sound pleasant.
• Unlike women FAT motorcycles aren't cheap dates.
Dave
Dave works hard at the plant & spends most of his evenings riding his scoot with the boys.
His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday, she takes him to a local
strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them & says "Hey Dave, how ya doin'?" His wife is puzzled
& asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh No," says Dave. "He works at the plant."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is
becoming uncomfortable & says, "you must come here a lot for that woman to know you
drink Budweiser.
"No honey, she works at the plant, too."
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A stripper comes over to their table & throws her arms around Dave. "Hi Davey," she says.
"Want your usual table dance?" Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse & storms out of the
club.
Dave follows & spots her getting into a cab. Before she slams the door, he jumps in beside
her & she starts screaming at him.
The cabby turns his head & says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."
Faces
You’d swear these guys are famous or something…
Can you guess who this is? He’s really blowin’ in the wind on that Trumpet.
Answer on the last page.
[45]
CMC Committee 2013
Chairman
Pierre Cronje
Pierre.cronje@openhand-mobile.co.za
Tel: 011 849 3008 Fax: 011 425 1284
chairman@classicmotorcycleclub.co.za
http://www.classicmotorcycleclub.co.za
072-513-9432
Vice Chairman
Hamish Ireland
H: 011 827 1670
Fax: 011 827 1670
ireland1@telkom.co.za
082-772-0141
Secretary
Bob Hooper
W: 011 452 4737
Fax: 011 452 4738
H: 011 452 6070
mbob@telkomsa.net
083-381-0695
Treasurer
Rita Grové
H: 011 764 3798
Fax: 086 672 8941
treasurer@classicmotorcycleclub.co.za
mwgrovem@mweb.co.za
083-774-6798
Banking Details:
Account Name: Classic Motorcycle Club
Standard Bank – Benoni
Bank Code No: 013042
Account No: 420 188 738
Charity Organizers:
Marlene Hooper
082-925-1447
H: 011 452 6070
mbob@telkomsa.net
Bob Hooper
083-381-0695
W: 011 452 4737
Fax: 011 452 4738
H: 011 452 6070
mbob@telkomsa.net
Japanese/Honda Spares:
Alan Green (Honda Shop)
classicrestorations@hotmail.com
Dave Carroll
Spares:
073-804-2970
083-461-3303
082-950-3766
Brian Roulstone
W: 011 828 0716
brian@eiconsa.co.za
Brian Neethling
Fax: 011 768 6829
Bob Linell
082-546-7155
082-756-7155
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Event Organisers
Racing Section
Trials Organiser
Timothy Romans
W: 011 661 1517
Alan Bayley
lifestylemcle@gmail.com
Graham Kendall
kendall@discoverymail.co.za
Gary Hunter
H: 011 475 2179
garyh@tiscali.co.za
Peter Nicholl
Tel: 011 971 1759
petern@robor.co.za
082-629-2961
078-137-5609
083-468-1753
083-720-8688
W: 011 882 8030
082-940-1457
Fax: 011 392 4438
Off-Road Rides
Trials
Dave Haines
W: 011 803 1159
H: 011 465 1306
Fax: 011 803 0970
farmer@global.co.za
082-895-5259
SAVVA Reps
Freddie Viljoen
082-336-5590
Liaison Officers
Terry Hack – Members
alarmlockking@gmail.com
082-697-6058
Webmaster
JAWS
john@austinwilliams.co.za
083 459-7802
082 546 7155
Museum Custodian Brian Neethling
Fax: 011 768 6829
Barry Allan
082-494-9678
Trophy Officer
Rusty Thorns
Editor
Timothy Romans
W: 011 661 1517
editor@classicmotorcycleclub.co.za
[47]
082-629-2961
Riding Shotgun
You don’t often see tandem motorcycles, usually the only time you see a tandem anything is
when a middle-aged couple from Delaware rent a two-seat bicycle whilst on vacation. For
some reason they never look as cool as the two girls above.
Answer for Guess the Bike: 1935 Killinger und Freund
Answer for Faces: Robert Alan Zimmerman (aka Bob Dylan)
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