May/June 2015 Issue - Grand Traverse Woman

Transcription

May/June 2015 Issue - Grand Traverse Woman
Grand Traverse
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WOMAN
northern michigan’s network for women ◆ may/june '15
MOtherHood
I ssue
Meet
Dr. meg meekeR
leading pediatrician
& bestselling author
hear her take on
strong MOTHERS
& Happy women
Free
Grand Traverse Woman
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May/June '15
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Grand Traverse Woman
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May/June '15
3
Grand Traverse Woman
2015 Arts Festival
Thursday, June 18 Michael McDonald
Monday, June 29
Garry Krinsky: Toying with Science
July 2-3
“As You Like It”
Interlochen Shakespeare Festival
Sunday, July 5
The Capitol Steps
Monday, July 6
Pink Martini
BOOKER T. JONES
Tuesday, July 7
Doobie Brothers
Wednesday, July 8 Sweet Harmony Soul:
Mavis Staples & Patty Griffin
with special guest Amy Helm
& the Handsome Strangers
July 9-11
“As You Like It”
Interlochen Shakespeare Festival
Tuesday, July 14
Interlochen “Collage”
Sunday, July 19
James Ehnes, Violin
World Youth Symphony Orchestra
Sunday, August 2
Christine Brewer, Soprano
World Youth Symphony Orchestra
August 6-9
“Crazy for You”
HighSchoolMusicalTheatreCo.
Monday, August 10 Dancing With The Stars - Live!
Monday, August 17 Ensō String Quartet
Wednesday, August 19 Vince Gill
Ensō String Quartet
Saturday, August 22 Ensō String Quartet
Tuesday, September 1 O.A.R.
with Special Guest Allen Stone
Wednesday, July 22 Boz Scaggs
with Special Guest Tower of Power
Martha Graham Dance Company
Thursday, July 23
Emerson String Quartet
Tuesday, July 28
A Prairie Home Companion
Thursday, July 30
Beach Boys
Friday, July 31
Harry Connick, Jr.
Saturday, August 1 Diana Krall
Diana Krall
August 1
O.A.R. - September 1
tickets.interlochen.org•800.681.5920
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May/June '15
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4/6/15 1:56 PM
Grand Traverse Woman
Grand Traverse
WOMAN2woman WOMAN
By Kandace Chapple & Kerry winkler
northern michigan’s magazine for women
Volume 12, No. 5
May/June 2015
GTWoman’s
office space
We’re often asked where our
GTWoman office is. It’s hard to explain
that it’s about one mile down, on the
left, just before the hard right turn.
Watch for the trailhead sign and park
near the first trail you see.
Because we don’t have a “real”
office. Unless you count Lost Lake
Pathway, where we have walked and
talked hundreds of miles over the
last 12 years; sometimes planning
GTWoman, sometimes planning an
escape. But always, always talking
and walking. We’ve calculated we’ve
walked 60–70 miles to produce this
very issue in your hands. (We should
be skinnier if you think about it.)
We’ve tried to break the habit and
just enjoy our walk but it’s usually
right after we’ve said, No more work!
that we come up with a plan so good
that it must be executed without further research or reasoning, on the spot.
Every one of our worst ideas has come
while sitting in an office, confined by
manmade-ness. Our best ideas are
launched and honed while walking
the Pere Marquette forest looking for a
couple of dogs.
Here are a few office rules we have
established:
Dress in layers
Every business meeting starts with:
“How many layers do you have on?”
Pause. “Two? I have three. Should
I do two? Or stay with three?” Test
fabric between two fingers. More arguing. Finally: “I’m going with the three.
You’re gonna be cold.”
The one in two layers ends the walk
victoriously as the other emerges from
the woods sweating, with her jacket
tied around her waist, her cell phone
in its pocket taking a beating on her
leg. It’s a rare, rare business meeting
where it all comes together–the perfect
number of layers on both of us.
No appointed end time
Do not think that getting back to
the parking lot four miles later means
that the meeting is over, especially if
it’s raining out and we’re soaked and
borderline hypothermic. This is usually just when we're getting brilliant.
“Should we walk one more?” one of
us will always ask.
“Are you out of your mind?” the
other will always answer.
Instead we pop the hatchback on
Kandy’s car and huddle under it to get
out of the rain and corner our idea.
At this point we look like fools, can’t
feel our hands and are, totally, creating
another masterpiece.
No dog leashes allowed
The dogs are welcome but leashes
are frowned upon. Leashes and tethers could slow the waving of arms
for emphasis of brilliance. Every dis-
Save The Date
Wednesday, May 13 – Purse Night & Jane Reveal
Get out your sassiest purse and join us for "Purse
Night" as well as the Jane Reveal! Our Network
Nite is at Credit Union ONE from 5-7 p.m. The
three Janes will reveal their final weight loss and
makeovers. It's going to be a great night, complete
with (happy) tears! Tickets are $15 or 2/$20. Visit
www.grandtraversewoman.com to join us!
www.grandtraversewoman.com
cussion sounds something like this:
“Luncheon speaker, Network Nite
location, etc. etc.,” rotated evenly and
regularly with: “Where the hell did
those dogs go now?”
At the GTWoman office, expect an
even number of humans and fourlegged friends in attendance. At least
two of them will be jumping, rolling
or biting at any time.
Public welcome
There are a lot of strangers in our
office. If they show up, we are always
welcoming, stepping off the trail, one
on each side, to make way. “What a
beautiful day!” we bellow, regardless
of sleet in our faces or wind tossing
our hair or rollicking dogs. It’s always
beautiful because we have an office
with no walls, no doors and rules like
these.
Recently it’s come to our attention
that there are not one but two other
women in the area who are using our
office regularly.
They didn’t even ask. But it’s cool.
We’ve seen Judy and Karen in our
office many times over the years. Just
last week it dawned on us: We're actually part of a co-op.
So for all those gals with offices
like ours, we salute you. For the
rest, we encourage you to get out on
the trails this summer and find your
brilliance!
Grand Traverse Woman
P.O. Box 22
Interlochen, MI 49643
tel: 231.276.5105
fax: 231.276.5106
info@grandtraversewoman.com
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Blog: www.grandtraversewoman.com
Facebook: http://companies.to/grandtraversewoman
Publishers
Kandace Chapple
Kerry Winkler
Editor
Kandace Chapple, kandace@grandtraversewoman.com
Account Director
Kerry Winkler, kerry@grandtraversewoman.com
Account Executives
Deb Dent, deb@grandtraversewoman.com
Lisa Foley, lisa@grandtraversewoman.com
Sherry Galbraith, sherry@grandtraversewoman.com
Lori Maki, lori@grandtraversewoman.com
Assistant Editor
Lisa Maxbauer Price, lisam@grandtraversewoman.com
COPY Editor
Christine Kurtz
DesignerS
Bethany Gulde, bethany@grandtraversewoman.com
Erin Waineo, www.erinwaineodesign.com
cover photo
Dr. Meg Meeker, see her story on page 26-27.
Photo by Beth Price, Beth Price Photography
www.bethpricephotography.com
Photographers
Sarah Brown, Sarah Brown Photography
www.sarahbrown-photography.com
Scarlett Piedmonte, Photography by Scarlett
www.photobyscarlett.com
Beth Price, Beth Price Photography
www.bethpricephotography.com
Administrative Assistant
Melissa Cartwright, The Beancounter
Contributing Writers
Shirley Aboudib
Andrea Bogard
Heather Budnik
Kyrie Caswell
April Caverly
Linda Francomb
Anne Grascoeur
Beth Guntzviller
Kaija Hornburg
Sarah Kime
Kristen Lowe
Dr. Meg Meeker
Patti Miller
Loreen Niewenhuis
Hannah Pettigrew
Jennifer Sheehan
Shann Vander Leek
Jessie Zevalkink
Advertising
Kerry Winkler at 231.276.5105 or
kerry@grandtraversewoman.com
The deadline is June 15 for the July/Aug issue.
Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for rates.
Subscriptions
To receive GTWoman at home,
mail $20 (for 6 issues) to:
Grand Traverse Woman,
P.O. Box 22, Interlochen, MI 49643
Tuesday, June 2 – Dr. meg meeker
Join us for a memorable lunch hour! Meet Dr.
Meg Meeker, leading pediatrician and bestselling author. Hear her take on Strong MOTHERS
& Happy WOMEN! In this talk, Dr. Meg presents
issues that women face as we try to find joy, happiness and contentment. Tickets $25 or 2/$45.
Booths $185. Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com.
Articles/Press Releases
Letters, inquiries, press releases and
GTWoman In Business submissions are welcome.
GTWoman in Biz releases are due June 15. See
www.grandtraversewoman.com for guidelines.
Mission Statement
Grand Traverse Woman is a bimonthly magazine
dedicated to the interests of women in the five-county
region. Our mission is to provide women with a
publication that is educational and inspirational. We
strive to maintain a positive, well-balanced and genuine
forum for women's issues. (We also like funny stuff.)
© Copyright 2015 Grand Traverse Woman LLC
All rights reserved.
May/June '15
5
Grand Traverse Woman
New Normal
A 7th grader shares life after
her mother’s cancer diagnosis
Kaija with her mom Linda
By Kaija Hornburg
I was awakened
by an intense
orange light coming through my eyelids. The
dazzling display of the sunrise outside my window
blinded me and I shut my eyes again. My comforter
seemed to envelop me in love and I felt bad about
the idea of leaving it. Then I realized it was Sunday.
I shot up out of bed, almost hitting my head
on the bunk above me. I ran upstairs, but the
carpeting provided little traction. It was a free
Sunday for us that weekend, no plans, which
meant that my dad was making breakfast. He
always made something special and I couldn’t help
but be curious.
When I got upstairs, the warm and spicy smell
of pumpkin pancakes filled my nose. It was a
pleasant breakfast. The pancakes tasted as good as
they smelled and my family talked as usual.
We were near the end of the meal and our
conversation was waning when my dad’s expression
changed. He looked stern and serious. My mom
seemed incredibly tense and fidgeted in her seat.
My dad started by gesturing to the pink “North
Storm Soccer” shirt he was wearing, explaining
how it was in support of the two moms on my
brother’s soccer team who have breast cancer.
Suddenly, I felt an ominous pit forming in my
stomach... I had been suspicious, but now I was
connecting the dots... I hoped from here to the
end of the earth and back again that I was wrong,
and that my dad would end up saying something
completely different than what I was dreading, but
that was not the case.
“And today I’m wearing it in support of your
mom as well,” he said simply.
There was an odd silence for a couple of
seconds. My brother sat beside me, dumbstruck. I
could feel the lump in my throat growing. I tried
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May/June '15
to swallow, but my throat felt too sore. Tears came
bubbling out like a fountain and I couldn’t stop
them.
My mom rushed over from the other side of
the table to console me. My dad started talking
again, trying to set my mind at ease by explaining
how cancer works and that breast cancer can be
treatable.
I didn’t care what he said about it. I didn’t want
any of it in our lives, no matter how treatable.
I was told my mom was diagnosed with Stage
3 breast cancer, a mix of ductile and lobular
cancer that was throughout her left breast and had
spread to lymph nodes in her arm. I didn’t really
understand at first what that all meant, but, as my
dad explained things, I could tell from his eyes that
he was concerned. Scared? I wasn’t used to seeing
my dad scared of anything.
That night, I lay in bed with my eyes closed, but
I wasn’t sleeping. I knew I had to sleep because
there was school tomorrow. I didn’t want to go to
school, but it was inevitable.
I also knew my life wasn’t going to be the same
anymore. I liked things the way they were, but
change was inevitable. And as I finally drifted off,
I felt inevitably hopeless.
Over the next year, my mom had surgery
to have both breasts and some of her lymph
nodes removed, a full round of chemotherapy,
reconstruction surgery and radiation. She has
started to recover, and is now facing years of
taking a strong drug called Tamoxifen, which will
have some side effects, but will hopefully stop the
cancer from coming back.
There are no guarantees. My mom needs to stay
healthy and happy and take it one day at a time.
So do I. It has been a rough year.
Then, in a fraction of a second,
my heartbeat slowed and I
relaxed as the truth and reality
set in: Not everything had to
change.
Yet, exactly 300 days later, when I woke up again
on a Sunday morning, I realized that I had also
been inevitably wrong that sad day so long ago.
Sure, when I got up this time, I couldn’t avoid
the upper bunk. I nursed a large bump on my
head as I lugged myself upstairs, only to find that
my brother was still sleeping. That meant that I’d
have to set the breakfast table by myself again.
As I begrudgingly put the plates down, I smelled
something coming from the stove top. I spun
around and my dad grinned at me as he started
flipping pumpkin pancakes. My memories flooded
back and I started to panic. I tensed and my heart
pumped faster.
Then, in a fraction of a second, my heartbeat
slowed and I relaxed as the truth and reality set in:
Not everything had to change.
My mom walked in from the living room and
gave me a warm smile. It wasn’t rigid and full
of anguish. My dad was still at work making us
pancakes on our special Sundays. As usual, I sat
down to breakfast with my parents and groggy
brother. We ate and talked and chewed and
discussed politics and other subjects, even making
jokes about my mom’s short hair.
It felt normal and I liked it. But it was far from
what I used to think was normal. It was my new
normal.
Kaija Hornburg is a 12-year-old 7th grader at East
Middle School in Traverse City. She lives with her
mother and father, Linda Vitins and Kirk Hornburg.
She has two older brothers, Lars and Kalvis, with
whom she shares a love of soccer and ski racing, as
well as other outdoor activities, especially those in
and on the water. She enjoys reading, writing and
singing, and she would like one day to study law and
enter politics.
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Grand Traverse Woman
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May/June '15
7
Grand Traverse Woman
Second
time around
Overcoming severe PPD (and a tubal ligation)
Northern Art Photography
to find motherhood joy again
By Andrea Bogard
Andrea with husband Brandon, Colton and Dwight.
Something was wrong. Where was the
euphoria of new motherhood? The peace and
tranquility touted so vividly on the glossy pages
of parenting magazines. My son, Colton, was
36 hours old and I was spiraling quickly into
the abyss I would come to know as Postpartum
Depression.
Our first baby
In October of 2006, my husband of nearly
two years and I welcomed our beautiful son into
the world. He was 8 lbs., 9 oz. of perfect, pink
healthy baby.
But beneath this idyllic beginning was the
start of a 13-month battle with PPD that would
become nearly fatal for me and would nearly cost
me my marriage and my son.
In hindsight, at first I felt a loss of connection
to everyone and everything. I had never heard
of such an illness and unfortunately neither had
my husband, Brandon. We chalked up the early
despair to being just “tired.”
Over time the situation got worse. I
experienced thoughts of suicide, hopelessness
and worthlessness. I even moved out of our
home for a short period in an attempt to heal in
a manner safe for those around me.
Finally, after six horrible months we sought
help. We tried therapy, holistic remedies and
traditional medicine. Firmly clinging to my
desire to breastfeed, I shunned the lithium and
other drugs recommended by physicians.
The consensus among traditional medical
doctors was that I had postpartum-onset bi-polar
disease and would need to be medicated for the
rest of my life in order to function. That was not
an ideal option. I looked for other solutions.
Instead, I pursued a diet of whole foods
and healthy proteins in conjunction with
supplements, herbs and minerals.
I felt nourished eating scrambled eggs, bacon,
fruit and a high-protein English muffin for
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May/June '15
breakfast, and a vegan protein shake with fruit
and coconut milk as a snack.
Thousands of dollars and many months later
the misery lifted. I was myself again!
My miscarriage
In early 2008, my husband and I decided we
wanted to try to add to our family. Unfortunately
we suffered a miscarriage. Within 24 hours of
my D&C procedure I developed a high fever
and nausea. Plus, my previously flat abdomen
appeared seven months pregnant.
We went immediately to the emergency
room, where we discovered I was bleeding
internally and had dangerously low hemoglobin.
It was scary. The doctor had missed nearly 80
percent of what he needed to remove during my
procedure.
After a second emergency D&C, and much
medical consultation and prayer, we decided it
was time to end my reproductive journey.
I was 25 years old, had a perfect, healthy little
boy, and had narrowly survived my attempt to
have another baby.
So I had a tubal ligation and thought the door
had closed on my childbearing years.
Trying again
Five years later I was sitting with my husband
at a restaurant enjoying a date night. We drank
a beer and laughed about how it seemed every
waitress there was pregnant. That’s when I
turned to my spouse and brought up something
that had been on my mind for a few months:
“What do you think about having another baby?”
Amazingly, my husband had been toying
with the same idea too, but hadn’t wanted to
bring it up.
After discussing our mutual desire for a
second baby and the hurdles we would have to
overcome to get pregnant, we both questioned
the impact of a potential PPD episode. We
realized how little we knew about the condition,
even after going through it.
We agreed that before we put ourselves,
our son and a future baby at risk, we would
do extensive research. And we did. We left no
stone unturned in our quest to understand the
risk and management of a common, but often
unaccepted complication of pregnancy.
Next, we found a private surgical center
just north of Atlanta, Ga., that specialized
in tubal reversals (www.pregnantagain.com).
The procedure went beautifully. And
two short months later, we
saw two pink lines on a
pregnancy test!
Baby 2!
Unlike the first
time, when we hadn’t
recognized
there
was a problem until
it became serious, we
vowed to stay very dialed
in to my mental state.
The newest member of
We also wanted a team
the Bogard family: Dwight.
of health care providers
with a good baseline of
my personality pre-baby.
After thorough research, we decided to be
assisted by a wonderful midwife team. They
helped me complete my pregnancy in the best
possible physical and emotional health. They
encouraged me to seek the tools I needed to feel
confident in my ability to birth and nurture a
new baby, and maintain my own health and
wellbeing.
Thanks to the team, and their dietary and
supplemental guidance, I felt great during the
entire pregnancy. They recognized I had low
levels of iron in my blood and encouraged me to
eat a lot of red meat and high iron foods.
In November 2014 it was finally time to meet
www.grandtraversewoman.com
3
Grand Traverse Woman
Signs and help for PPD
It’s natural and common for women to experience the
“baby blues” (which may include mood swings and crying)
following a recent birth. However, if symptoms intensify
and disrupt a mother’s ability to care for herself or her
baby, she may be suffering from postpartum depression.
Additional symptoms include loss of appetite or sex drive,
insomnia and fatigue, difficulty bonding with the newborn,
or thoughts of harming herself or her baby.
For help, contact your health care provider. Additional local
resources and perspectives are also available through:
Blessings of the Womb:
Robin Lavis, CPM
(Certified Professional Midwife)
Contact: 231.264.9144
blessingsofthewomb@charter.net
Intricately Woven
Birth Services:
Kayla Hadfield
Contact: 231.392.6770
www.intricatelywoven.com
this baby. I had planned for a home birth, but, after my labor stalled, we
agreed it was time to transfer to Munson Medical Center in Traverse City.
With the help of a little Pitocin, our midwife and our original doctor,
we soon welcomed our baby, Dwight, into the world at a whopping
10 lbs., 10 oz. and 22.5 inches long.
The evening we brought our new son home and laid him in his crib,
I wept with joy.
A few weeks later, we celebrated with New York strips and crab legs
my husband cooked at home. It was a necessary celebration after a long
struggle and exceptional outcome. Overall, I felt more balanced and
confident.
Securities and Investment Advisory Services offered through
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33 years providing service with integrity
Making choices
Now, nearly five months later, with continued focus on nutrition and
a great lactation consultant, I am experiencing wonderful connections
with my husband and sons. It’s the result of countless deliberate choices.
Through our own research—medical and natural consultation—and
the recommendations of other successful PPD survivors, we chose the
vitamins and minerals I needed to help maintain emotional and physical
health. I take B complex daily, fish oil, probiotics and various immunesupport products.
I also took placenta capsules daily until 4 months post partum. It
was one of the tools I came across in my research. Most of the evidence
in favor of consuming the placenta in any form is anecdotal rather than
scientific. However, with my experience with PPD and the positive
feedback from women who had actually used this encapsulation process,
I was convinced it was a tool worth having.
Honest communication and a loving partnership also helped.
Frequently, my husband will sit down, look me in the eyes, and ask,
“How are you?” This is not just the perfunctory greeting but rather an
honesty question that we set months prior as a check and balance to the
whole process. It is like a safe word for us that means “no strings, no
worries, no judgment.”
Every day, we celebrate our new addition. We faced tremendous odds,
but achieved great success. Today, we have two wonderful boys who,
fortunately, have a peaceful, happy and healthy mom.
Andrea Bogard and her husband, Brandon, live in Kingsley with their two
boys, Colton and Dwight. Together they operate Northern Art Photography,
www.northernartphotography.com. Bogard, a Petoskey native, has lived in the
Grand Traverse area since 2008.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
May/June '15
9
Grand Traverse Woman
Lindsay Wolff Photography
Linda with Memphis and Philip
A baby at
The tragedy and triumph
of one mom’s journey
By Linda Francomb
Unplanned beginning
Aug. 10, 1978: My wedding day in the
Mississippi Delta. My husband-to-be and I had
known each other since childhood, dated our
junior and senior high school years and attended
church together weekly.
And there I was, standing in my parents’
living room, daisies in my hair, grasping a
delicate bouquet of wildflowers. Standing
there in a beautiful, long lace dress, my highschool prom dress, with my knees knocking
underneath. I was young and pregnant.
Back then women who had babies out
of wedlock were not looked upon in a very
approving light. So the thought never occurred
to me to raise my baby on my own. It was
everyone’s mission to get us married, and quick!
At the age of 17, I became a wife and at the age
of 18, I became a mom.
After an 8-hour natural labor and delivery,
my precious firstborn daughter arrived. We
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May/June '15
named her Mary Heather. Mary, after my mom
and me (my given name is Mary Linda), and
Heather, just because we liked it.
I took my role as a mom very seriously. No
college life for me. I loved my daughter more
than I knew possible and I didn’t want to be
anywhere else. I remember, when Heather was
around 8 months old, I asked my mom, “How
can you love more than one child?”
Of course, I learned you could and I do. My
son, Xan, was born four years later; a joyful
child with a sweet, loving disposition that he
has carried into adulthood. He inspires me daily.
When I got divorced after 17 years of
marriage, I was forever thankful to have my
precious children in my life.
Fast forward to 2003. Internet dating was
gaining popularity and I was finally ready for a
serious relationship again. I met my current (and
younger) husband, Philip. He was a Michigan
native and after a long-distance relationship, we
were engaged. I moved to Traverse City to start
our new life together.
It was incredibly hard to leave my family:
Heather was 26 and Xan was 22. After I
remarried, the kids visited TC a few times and
loved the area; of course we missed each other
terribly. Still, I was ready for it to be my time. I
longed for the change.
Parent’s worst nightmare
It was a typical sales day for me at my
radio job in September 2007 when I received
a phone call from my mom. She was crying
hysterically. I thought something had happened
to my dad until she sobbed the words: “-----killed Heather.”
My world shattered into a million pieces and
at that moment life as I knew it ended for me.
To say it was devastating to learn that my
daughter had been murdered by her boyfriend
doesn’t describe my sorrow and utter anguish.
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Grand Traverse Woman
Heather was my firstborn. She was my friend and my confidant. We grew
up together. And now she had died a tragic, horrific, brutal death at the
hands of someone she loved. And I wasn’t there to protect her.
With friends, I created a non-profit organization in my daughter’s
memory to help women dealing with domestic violence. It is called
Heather’s TREE, an acronym for Training, Resources, Education and
Empowerment, and symbolic of her love of trees. To date we have raised
over $70,000 in aid for Mississippi women.
As time passed I dealt with my daughter’s death by the love and
support of family, friends and even strangers. The promise of eternal life
with Heather and my Heavenly Father sustained me.
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Unexpected joy
Not everyone knows that at a time when my family got smaller, I was
actively trying to make it bigger. Right before Heather died I had been
through two rounds of fertility drugs. Philip and I really wanted a child
together as he had none. I had given myself daily stomach injections and
taken pills. All our efforts resulted in two pregnancies, both ending in
miscarriages.
I wasn’t getting any younger! So in 2009 we took the plunge and
made the IVF investment. It’s a story of forging ahead after experiencing
a parent’s worst nightmare. We traveled to Grand Rapids for the
procedures. We had four healthy, surviving embryos and we prayed one
would “take.”
The first treatment implanted two of the embryos and I got pregnant
but miscarried at eight weeks. We waited a couple of months and
implanted the last two…prayed… and once again, I was pregnant.
At seven weeks we saw the tiny flicker of a heartbeat!
Within time, our beautiful baby boy was born, weighing 7 lbs. 7ozs.
We named him Memphis, representing the place my husband and I met
in person for the first time. Our son arrived only two days shy of his due
date, three years after the death of my daughter and only seven months
before I turned 50 years old!
Every story is different and my winding road to motherhood has been
filled with highs and lows, triumphs and tragedies. To think, my first
child came at the age of 18 and my last child at the ripe old age of 49!
(And only two years later my amazing middle child, Xan, and his wife
blessed us with a sweet grandson!)
This Mother’s Day, let her see your appreciation!
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To say my life has been a 'journey' is a given,
but experiencing motherhood this time
around has been an unbelievable blessing.
I cherish my morning snuggles with Memphis before starting the day,
relish the hugs and kisses he gives me and laugh often at his little quirks
and boyish ways. I can’t wait to watch him grow.
I love each of my children unconditionally. We have bonds that can’t
be broken in life or death. Heather is eternally missed but always near.
To quote author Marianne Williamson: “We do not heal the past by
dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.”
I thank God for placing people, events and opportunities in my life to
guide me through my darkest hours to this unexpected life of happiness
and fulfillment, with the family I was always meant to have! I can say
once again I am at peace.
Linda Francomb is a senior account executive at Midwestern Broadcasting
in Traverse City and is currently writing a book of hope and healing
as encouragement to others who have lost children. Linda, Philip and
5-year-old Memphis reside in Leelanau County. Linda continues her domestic
violence awareness and can be reached at soulshinebaby1@gmail.com. Visit
www.heatherstree.org for more information.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
May/June '15 11
Grand Traverse Woman
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14
May/June '15
it wasn’t mine. I liked being outside running around and feeling free. I
never really thought I would grow up to be a mom.
Then when I was 9 years old, I was diagnosed with a tumor on the
right side of my brain. It was caught in the very late stages. I underwent
brain surgery only two days after it was discovered. The tumor was the
size of an extra large egg.
The surgery was successful: the tumor was completely removed and
was not cancerous. But the damage to my brain was already done. I was
left semi-paralyzed, losing function of my left hand and walking with a
slight limp due to the fact that my left foot is always extended.
As a result, I had to re-learn how to do everything with one hand. It
is amazing what our bodies are capable of doing and how quickly I was
able to do most daily tasks with one hand. Still, I thought I would never
be able to care for a child.
Skip ahead to April of 2013. I hadn’t changed my views of motherhood
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
After the first doctor visit, reality
started to set in. I wondered what
my future would be like.
when my boyfriend and I found out that I was, in fact, pregnant. I was
shocked but very happy and excited.
I had a nephew and a niece, but I didn’t watch them on a daily basis.
Could I really care for an infant? I wondered. I didn’t have long to think
about it. Within two months I would have other worries on my mind.
That’s when I had a seizure caused by the scar tissue from my
previous brain surgery. Suddenly, I was faced with a major decision: start
on a medication that lacked research regarding its effects on pregnant
women and their gestating babies, or risk having another seizure that
could possibly result in premature labor for me and complications for
my baby.
After talking it over with my family, my doctor and my boyfriend, I
decided to start taking the medication to protect myself and hopefully
have a full-term pregnancy. I had everyone’s support. I was under the
constant supervision of my neurologist, who also kept in close touch
with my gynecologist. Thankfully, I did not have another seizure
throughout the rest of my pregnancy.
On Dec. 5, 2013, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl weighing a
healthy 6 lbs., 15 ozs. She was 20 inches long with 10 fingers and 10
toes. She was perfect. My decision had been right. My daughter was
healthy.
We named her Brynn. I hadn’t needed an epidural during labor so the
following day we were allowed to take Brynn home. The hospital didn’t
see a need in keeping me and we were more then ready to go.
Once I got home the fun started. I got to learn how to do everything
with one hand with a newborn. My family and boyfriend were amazing
and very helpful, but I knew they would all soon return to work and I
would be alone with Brynn to care for her.
I knew I was going to have to really work on the best approaches to
feeding, bathing, changing and dressing a newborn with one hand. I
learned to use my left arm to keep Brynn’s head propped up while giving
her a bottle and also keep her head out of the water in the bathtub. I
learned how to buckle her car seat with one hand. I got creative—I used
a zip tie to secure one lock on the car seat basket carrier so I could put
the handle up and down without assistance.
Getting my daughter dressed was the biggest challenge that I faced,
but I took my time and made sure to make it as easy on Brynn as possible.
I found the location of baby changing stations in public bathrooms
didn’t work for me. So I got really good at changing my baby on my lap,
using my knees. I also learned how to use my body better, hips to bump
doors shut or keep doors open.
I often wore my daughter in an Ergo carrier, which kept my right
hand free so I could do things like grocery shop. And honestly, strangers
tended to be pretty helpful at times. They opened doors or buckled
straps.
Through it all, I was very driven to be the best parent possible. I love
being a mom. Every hurdle I overcome is totally worth it. Motherhood
isn’t easy, but I’ve realized that I can do whatever I put my mind to,
regardless of my disability.
Brynn is now a happy, bright, energetic toddler. I receive compliments
from friends and family and even total strangers. They are amazed at my
ability to do things with one hand and even more impressed at my ability
to care for and keep up with Brynn.
I definitely did a total “180” about parenthood and I couldn’t be
happier. I am glad that I didn’t stick to the idea of never having a baby.
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Kyrie Caswell has a Bachelors Degree in Criminal Justice and currently lives in
Traverse City with her boyfriend, Matt, and 15-month-old daughter Brynn. She
enjoys being outside and watching documentaries.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
May/June '15 15
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Grand Traverse Woman
Always a risk
By Beth Guntzviller
As Beth’s preemie
thrived, her own
health fell apart.
Pregnancy wasn’t some magical time for me. When I think about it, I still get a
little panicky.
During one week around my seventh month, I blew up like a balloon. Socks would not go
over my foot. The necklace I wore all the time would not fit around my neck. My bathrobe
would not go all the way around me. I could not lie in bed—my neck and head hurt. Instead,
I sat in a chair and laid my head against propped-up pillows.
At the time I thought this was a normal pregnancy. I figured my extra weight gain was
because I was a bit older. Friends and family saw a change in me but were hesitant to say I
looked horrible. (I have since learned when you have a family member who does not look
healthy, tell him or her. It could be life or death.)
When I went to my doctor for a check up, I was told to go immediately to the hospital. I
had preeclampsia—a dangerous complication caused by high blood pressure. It is a risk that
comes with pregnancy. There is always a risk.
I drove over, parked my car and walked in. I used a pay phone to update my husband.
I called relatives to pick up our daughter from school, and the cleaning lady to clean
house since my mom would be coming to stay. I was crying and scared, alone in the hall.
Everything was happening so fast.
I’ll never forget a woman I knew who was a volunteer at the hospital. She put her arm
around me and walked with me up to the delivery floor. I had to walk through these two
steel doors. Nurses scolded me, wondering where I had been. They put me in a sterile room.
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May/June '15
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www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
My head was pounding. I was sick to my stomach.
Someone brought me a huge pork chop. The sight
and smell was nauseating.
There was this clock on the wall. The minute
hand was unusually loud as it was ticking. The
sound was like boom, boom, boom! I asked a
nurse if she could take the clock down.
After a doctor consultation, they decided to
take the baby ASAP via C-section.
I’d gained 100 pounds but Jeffrey was born
weighing only 2 1/2 pounds. He was healthy but
looked like a bird that had fallen out of a tree,
or an old man, all wrinkly, red, skinny. Not the
newborn I had imagined.
Delivering the baby was supposed to help
me out of distress. But, after Jeff was born, I
continued to get sicker and sicker and bigger and
bigger. I was in intensive care for days and did not
see my baby.
I blew up even more. My hands looked like
rubber gloves blown up. My bloated face was
unrecognizable. Someone brought in what seemed
like a small crane and forklift to weigh me. They
put straps on me and cranked me up.
I remember asking the nurse as I was waking
up one day if anyone had ever died in this room.
She looked at me bright eyed and said truthfully,
“Yes.”
Days stretched on. I remember thinking no one
cares because there are no flowers or cards. But I
later learned you cannot have them in intensive
care.
Jolly Jeffrey was finally wheeled to me in
his little bed. I was told no baby had ever been
brought to see his mom in intensive care. I could
only see him a few minutes; my blood pressure
would skyrocket.
I remember our daughter, Julie, who was 8 at
the time, peeking in on me as I lay in intensive
care. She was scared, not wanting to look at me
because I looked like a monster.
My husband, Wayne, would rotate between the
neonatal unit and my floor. He would sit for hours
with Jeff, putting his big hands through the holes
in his special crib, feeding him with a tube.
As my baby thrived, I was in grave danger. I
was unresponsive for about a week. At some point
I became aware that people, grown men, were
praying for me. I opened my eyes and saw my
sister sitting in a chair that looked really far away.
She looked like an angel.
Things finally started to turn in my favor.
My physician, Dr. Frost, and my critical care
specialist, Dr. Ochs, figured out how to save my
life. I eventually got better with the help of drugs
for high blood pressure and medications for my
kidneys so they did not shut down.
We went home without a baby. Jeff stayed in
I’d gained 100 pounds but
Jeffrey was born weighing
only 2 1/2 pounds.
the hospital until he was big enough and strong
enough to come home.
Once he was home, Julie carried Jeff around in
a Cabbage Patch toy baby carrier. My mother-inlaw put him in her dresser drawer in a shoebox.
We bought doll clothes since there were no
preemie clothes available in his size.
This is my story. I still get teary eyed and a
lump in my throat when I think of the events
surrounding my son’s birth. It is as vivid in my
mind today as it was then years ago. I learned that
birth and pregnancy are not risk-free as many of
us like to believe. If you are pregnant and don’t
feel well, call your doctor for a diagnosis and don’t
let others tell you it is normal.
I am lucky Jeff and I had such good care at
Munson. I also know we are strong enough to
handle life’s bumps in the road.
Beth Guntzviller is the owner of Miner’s North Jewelers,
www.minersnorth.com, in downtown Traverse City.
Her son Jeff is now 41. She can be reached at
231.946.8528.
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May/June '15 19
Grand Traverse Woman
Playing By Her Own Rules
For this winning volleyball coach,
success is more than the score
By Kristen Lowe
Leland varsity volleyball coach Laurie Glass has won two Class D state titles and led the
Comets as far as the semifinals 7 times in 16 years. Her impressive record: 782 wins, 242 losses
and 79 ties.
But if you ask, Laurie has no idea what her record is. Frankly, she doesn’t care. Here, this
amazing coach and mother shares her views of success on and off the court:
A lesson in value
Laurie’s love of coaching volleyball has been
driven by a lot more than the sport itself. It’s about
helping girls learn their value and see themselves in
the best way possible.
“As a female, you spend a lot of time trying to
overcome those general things that come with being
a woman,” Laurie said. “Not feeling good enough,
feeling very self-critical and taking a back seat:
things that, despite all our good intentions, are challenging for girls.”
So the coach makes it her mission to teach her
players their value from an early age.
Laurie points out one conversation she had with
a seventh-grade girl, convincing her that she didn’t
have to throw a volleyball to a boy on the balcony
when he asked just so he could try to shoot it in a
hoop down below.
“It starts with those little conversations about:
‘They would never throw you the ball if you were in
the balcony, but what is it about you that says your
time isn’t as valuable as his?’” Laurie explains. “It’s
just teaching those really early lessons about valuing
themselves as an athlete and as a female.”
It’s a standing rule that the girls can’t get out of
practice early to watch the boys teams… at least not
until the boys come watch them first. In countless
ways around Leland Public School, Laurie is known
for questioning the norm for the betterment of the
girls around her.
The power of knowing yourself
In a town of only 2,000, Laurie has managed to
build a volleyball program that wins consistently.
The work starts as early as middle school. In seventh and eighth grades, every girl plays every posi-
More than the scoreboard
Laurie’s mentoring has led to plenty of victories, but she said, “Wins are great and that’s certainly what we strive for at the varsity level, but my
moments of great joy really come from individual
moments of self-discovery.”
Those experiences, in Laurie’s mind, happen
when her female athletes overcome what overwhelms them: for example, when a player is nervous and questions her ability.
“Win or lose, the fact that she got on the floor
and performed despite how nervous she was feeling inside is a powerful thing,” Laurie said. “I think
that’s so much more important than the win.”
Tune In!
Abby Reed Photography
20
tion. They don’t pay attention to the
scoreboard. Instead, they set their own
team goals, like hitting the ball three
times before sending it over the net.
“We may get murdered on the scoreboard, like 25-10,” Laurie quips. “But
you come over to the bench, and the
coach tells you what you're doing right,
and you may hear cheers and excitement!”
At the varsity level, it’s about team chemistry and
mental toughness. Every week, the team spends
about 30 minutes just talking about goals, problems
and simply what’s going on in their heads that day.
“I don’t always have the best athletes, but we
win because we know things that other people
don’t know—about ourselves and about who we
are as a team,” Laurie said. “By the time they get
to me, there’s some strong belief about whether
they should or shouldn’t be winning and they don’t
know they shouldn’t be.”
All this year, Grand Traverse Woman and 7&4 News will
be profiling some of the most powerful women in northern
Michigan. Look for Kristen Lowe's reports on 7&4 News and
her articles in every issue of Grand Traverse Woman.
May/June '15
LauriE Glass
Raising a star
Of all the young women
Laurie has helped inspire over
the years, her own daughter,
Alisha, stands out.
Daughter Alisha Glass
Early on, it was apparent to
that her child was going to be
a top player. So she had to make strategic decisions
as both a parent and a coach.
A 2006 graduate of Leland High School, Alisha
led the Comets to the state championship that year
and went on to become a three-time college All
American at Penn State University. Her star continues to rise. As a member of Team USA, she is
preparing for the 2016 Olympics.
Laurie admits she was harder on her daughter to
establish a lack of favoritism. But they had a rule:
When they left the gym, they were done with volleyball and talked about “regular mother-daughter
stuff.” The mother-daughter bond
Today, Alisha plays volleyball professionally in
Italy. Yet, even from across the Atlantic, the former
high school phenom still plays an active role in
her mother’s team here in Leland. Laurie listens to
Alisha’s advice on drills and ways to overcome any
issues the team may have. Alisha makes videos for
the girls and sends messages to motivate them.
Naturally, Laurie is reminded of the legacy she
created when she passes her daughter’s jersey, with
the retired number, each day as it hangs outside
Leland’s gym.
Though Laurie is known across the state for her
role as a coach, the role she said she relishes most
is mom. “I’m just thrilled with how she turned out
as a human being,” Laurie beams. “Volleyball is just
a perk.”
Laurie Glass is a long-time volleyball coach and proud
mother. She loves movies, kayaking and anything that
involves the water.
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dynamic business environment. Economic growth means a lot for Northern
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details.
WOMEN’S
Duet helmet
REG. $60
Buy 1 pair of Women’s
cycling shorts, get a
woman’s
cycling
jersey
50%
off!
NOW $4499
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®
REG. $100
NOW $7999
®
MEN’S
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REG. 100
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REG. $60
NOW $4499
3530 North Country Dr. | 231.929.5600
SUPER ACCESSORY SALE!
EE
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WAS $30
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WAS $30
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3530
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bankmbank.com
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WAS $160
NOW $1999
Logic Sunglasses
bankmbank.com
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NOW $129
Ridgeback
hitch mount car rack
(2, 4 or 5 Bike models)
Super Joe Pro 2
20%
WAS 59
$
NOW $2995
OFF
Prices starting at
WAS $129
19999
$
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w of our great deals on all in-stock bikes!
ROAD
Allez........................... was $770
Dolce (W)................ was $770
Ruby Comp (W)... was $3000
Roubaix SL4 2014 was $1800
$710
sale $710
sale $2599
sale $1559
sale
Roubaix Comp SL4 Disc.......
...................................... was
$2899 sale $2599
MOUNTAIN
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TWO LOCATIONS
IN TRAVERSE CITY
k...... was $440
sale $369
2786 Garfield Rd. N
750 E. 8th St.
....... was $560
sale $475 (231) 941-7161
(231) 941-8855
ONE LOCATION
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sale $475IN CADILLAC
....... was
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mper Comp 2014.......(231) 775-6161
$2000 sale $1799
www.grandtraversewoman.com
......... was
0 BIKES IN STOCK!
SALE HOURS
• Fri. 9am-7pm • Sat 9am-5pm
• Sun 11am-4pm
(Cadillac location closed)
• Mon. 9am-7pm
www.mclaincycle.com
May/June '15 21
Grand Traverse Woman
P E DI AT R IC DE N T I ST S
Because We Specialize In Children, We Treat Children Special!
• Complete Oral Care from
Birth to Age 18
• New & Modern Equipment
to Increase Children’s
Comfort Level
• Treatment for Children with
Special Needs
• Hospital Sedation
• Trauma Management
•
Come Visit us at our NEW LOCATION!
“Dr. Matt”
Matthew C. Mandeville, DDS
“Dr. Jamie”
James M. Van Wingen, DDS, MS
FUN and exploratory
atmosphere
1241 E 8th Street | Traverse City | MI 49686
231 . 947 . 4566
Both Doctors are Diplomates of the American Board of Pediatric Dentistry
Remind them to wear
a helmet.
Remind your little ones to always wear a helmet when biking,
skateboarding, or playing a favorite sport.
You also can support helmet safety by purchasing Kohl’s Cares
collector’s-edition books and plush stuffed animals. All proceeds
support local child safety efforts.
munsonhealthcare.org/4seasonsafety
22
May/June '15
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Grand Traverse Woman
For Them:
PRACTICAL.
CONVENIENT.
CLOSE TO
HOME.
Your next big move is closer than you
think! If you’re not sure where to take
your education from here, we have good
news. A bachelor’s degree from Ferris
State University is available to you, right
here at Northwestern Michigan College.
Earn both Ferris and NMC credit without
giving up the comforts and convenience of
home. Make our convenient location work
for you and attend the number one choice
of adult and transfer students in Michigan.
Join us on Facebook @FerrisStatewide
or visit us at ferris.edu/traversecity.
es all
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art
dance
music
outdoor-fun
science
technology
+ MORE!
Ferris state University / TRAVERSE CITY
NatioNal Writers series
Writers series of traverse City
™
To register:
nmc.edu/kids or
231.995.1700
179
classes for kids
ages 3-17
For You:
Join us for a conversation with
jeff shaara
and guest host ed tracy
June 2, 7 PM • city opera house
explosive and engaging drama
Jeff Shaara returns to the Civil War
terrain he knows so well with his
latest and fifteenth novel, The Fateful
Lightning, which tells the dramatic
story of the final eight months of
battle. It is the conclusion of his
epic Civil War tetralogy.
Smart, gripping conversation about
a defining moment in U.S. history.
This event sponsored by:
This Mother’s Day - Treat Yourself:
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yo u to ou
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To purchase tickets visit: www.cityoperahouse.org • Ticket prices start at $15
great stories ~ great conversations
For more inFormation visit: www.nationalwritersseries.org or www.cityoperaHouse.org
www.grandtraversewoman.com
NMC has classes all year long: Gardening,
Fitness, Culinary, Photography, Music + MORE.
nmc.edu/ees
May/June '15 23
Heather with son Mitchell.
Grand Traverse Woman
More Than Just
Soccer
Fields
By Heather Budnik
Perhaps you’ve driven by TBAYS Keystone Soccer Complex on soccer Saturdays when
the 75 acres of green fields are filled with kids, parents, other relatives and coaches. When
the sun is shining, the 5 year olds are chasing soccer balls that look bigger than their heads,
and parents lock hands to make tunnels for players to run through, it looks very much like
perfection to me.
As a parent and volunteer for Traverse Bay Area Youth Soccer for more than 12 years, I’ve
watched a lot happen on those fields: Super soccer moms pushing strollers through the grass
laden with bags of gear and team snacks. Dads fumbling hair ties and managing uniform
malfunctions. Business moms with heels sunk deep into the muddy turf. And grandmas and
grandpas who have watched entire games, only to find out their grandchild was playing one
field over.
231.935.1715 Office
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24
May/June '15
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
My older son, Matt, started at TBAYS when
he was 4. Now he’s 16 and playing on the North
Storm travel (U16) team and also the West Senior
High School varsity soccer team. Needless to say,
my family has spent more time and eaten more
dinners at those soccer fields than I care to admit.
Through the years, I’ve weathered many a
storm there. I have dragged three kids to games
in the pouring rain (not the fun sprinkle kind,
the sideways soaker kind.) I’ve braved unbearably
cold temperatures in layers so thick that I’ve had
to announce to parents who I was before greeting
them. Not to mention wind, hail, heat . . .
And sometimes the storms weren’t weather
related. When my son became older, the games
became more competitive. There were tryouts
and tournaments. Lost games or letting the team
down. New challenges and, at times, heartbreaking
disappointments. Yet somehow, every season, we
ended up back at those same fields.
The parking lot is where I give my pep talks, and
where my son covers up any tears of frustration.
It’s where I pat his back when things go wrong
and where I pull him aside when his enthusiasm
trumps his sense. It is also where I sit in my car too
nervous to be close to the action, but too excited to
be too far away from it either.
I’ve been more than a spectator. There, at the
Complex, I have staked yards of rope, scrubbed
brick walls, painted lines on fields and registered
teams alongside other volunteers. Sometimes the
work is even as unheroic as scraping gum off the
bottom of picnic tables.
Along the way I have met amazing people:
Soccer moms and dads who are now close friends.
Sincere kids who act with great sportsmanship.
And talented coaches who dedicate a portion of
their family’s lives to mentor a member of mine.
Being a longtime part of TBAYS has afforded me
the privilege that newbie soccer parents have not
yet experienced.
Volunteering one morning before the cars and
fans swarmed the pitch, I watched the sun come
up over the empty fields, and I considered all the
memories this place helped create.
I estimate 350,000 kids have played on these
fields in the last generation. Some went on to receive
college scholarships and even play professional
ball. TBAYS is a non-profit organization run by a
volunteer board of directors made up of parents,
coaches and community members. It isn’t perfect.
But the group, along with a small, dedicated staff,
work to continue to give our community the
option and the area to play soccer.
I was then, and still am, proud to be a part
of TBAYS; an organization that helped turn an
ordinary piece of land into a foundation of fields
on which kids can run and rule the world.
TBAYS is a non-profit
organization run by a volunteer
board of directors made
up of parents, coaches and
community members.
Heather Budnik and her husband, Rod, are the parents
of three children: Matt, 16; Megan, 13; and Mitchell,
7. She is the new TBAYS volunteer and marketing
coordinator. To learn more, visit TBAYS.org.
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www.grandtraversewoman.com
May/June '15 25
Grand Traverse Woman
strong Mothers
&
happy women
Practice this pair of habits
By Dr. Meg Meeker
Motherhood is, without a doubt, rewarding. But over the years, seeing countless parents
in my career as a pediatrician, and as a mother
myself, I know it can be tough. That’s why I
wrote my latest book: The 10 Habits of Happy
Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and
Sanity. It offers practical ways—a whole tool
kit—for women to create new, healthy, emotional
habits that will improve their lives.
Here, I’m sharing two habits I think can make
an immediate, positive impact on the lives of
busy moms. All you have to do is zero in on the
habit that appeals to you, and focus on achieving it!
Habit #1: Maintain Key Friendships
Every mother needs connections with women
on different levels, women who satisfy our longing for intimate emotional bonding and others
who provide us comfort and affection on a lighter
level. But how do you recognize, maintain and
balance these relationships in your already busy
life?
• Have an inner and outer circle of friends
Women comprising our inner circle are usually few in number—three or four. These are the
friends who can step into our kitchens at dinnertime and take over feeding our kids, put them
to bed and clean up when we suddenly fall apart
from tragic news. The hallmarks of inner-circle
friendships are trust, maturity and faithfulness,
all of which work together to cultivate the deep
love between us. And each one of these must
flow in two directions: Both friends must fulfill
each other.
Outer-circle friends, while no less valuable,
are different. These are the friends who run our
kids to school and soccer games and who are
always up for a brisk walk after dinner. They
are companions who bring laughter and comfort
and uplift us when we are down. Usually there
are more outer-circle friends in a mother’s life—
about 10 or so.
• Balance the types of friends you choose
Often mothers find themselves drained
by their friendships and this usually happens
because they have no balance in their tribe.
26
May/June '15
There are the types of friends who need help
constantly—the ones who ask (if they’re going to
ask at all) how you are doing half an hour into
the conversation. These women are the takers—
the needy ones who are always in crisis mode. It’s
fine to have a few friends like this because you
have something to give, but never have only this
type of relationship. It will suck you dry.
You need friends who ask how you are right
off the bat and also let you answer. Since friends
bring their own giftedness to relationships, try to
find friends with diverse gifts as well.
Do you have balance in your tribe of friends?
What are the different gifts you get from your
friends? Do your friends accept you as you are
and at the same time challenge you to improve?
Habit #2: Say No to Competition
As moms we compete in two arenas: we have
our lives as well as the lives of our kids to watch
out for. Sometimes jealousy takes such a strong
hold on us that we have difficulty having any
good relationships with other mothers.
When we are jealous of other mothers because
they seem to have life perfectly figured out, we
find ourselves wanting to be with them and hating to be near them, all at the same time. We
want to see how they do it, but, since we feel that
we can’t do what they do or have what they have,
we leave angrier than ever. We feel inadequate or
guilty when we are with them that we just scrap
the whole friendship thing altogether.
How exactly can we opt out of all this competing and enjoy feeling more balance?
• Recognize jealousy and don’t be fooled
The first and most important step in changing any habit is recognizing it. So think about
the voices in your mind that gently articulate
the desires you have for something that another
mom or person has. Simply saying it out loud
can free you from your jealousy.
• Head competition off at the pass
Once we feel criticism, gossip or agitation at
another welling up, waiting to erupt, we must
tell ourselves that we will not compete. We need
to say it out loud to ourselves, or at least own up
to it in our minds. Once we can admit our feel-
the strong
parent project
Dr. Meg Meeker said, “Early in my career a
mentor told me this: if you really want to help
your patients, help their parents because once
their parents feel good about parenting, you
don’t have to worry about the kids.” That
philosophy has guided her career as a
pediatrician, author and speaker for more
than 30 years. That’s why Dr. Meg recently
launched www.TheStrongParentProject.com,
a site that provides members with all the resources, tools and encouragement they need
to be leaders for their family.
“What have you done in the last week to
become a better parent for you kids?” asks
Dr. Meg. “We take a lot of steps to live a
healthier life, to be better off financially, plan
for retirement, get a degree or get ahead at
the office, but we rarely invest intentional time
in our most important role, that being mom,
dad or grandparent.”
Dr. Meg believes it doesn’t take a lot of time
to tap into one’s parenting potential. Members
to her site have access to monthly coaching
sessions, ebooks, expert videos and inspiring
podcasts to quickly learn all they need to
know to make a dramatic impact at home.
Visit www.TheStrongParentProject.com to
learn more and join Dr. Meg on The Strong
Parent Project!
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
ings, we can then admit to ourselves that we really don’t need the thing for which
we are jealous.
When jealousy is over large issues, we need another objective person who loves
us enough not to think ill of us when she hears our stupidity verbalized. That’s
what good friends do—they accept what we think and feel and take it all in stride.
What’s more, a good friend may be able to see our jealousy and competitiveness
when we can’t. And if she is a really good friend, she can gently tell us that. She’s
the one to recruit for help to work through things.
• Give frequent verbal applause
One of the best ways to ward off jealousy is to speak well of the woman who has
something we want. Giving praise to someone you have hard feelings for—particularly when you do it sincerely and to her face—heals all sorts of ills.
• Focus on fullness, not emptiness
Write down what you are grateful for and use this list to focus on what you
have, not what you don’t have. Do this for three to four weeks and wait to see what
happens to your mood.
• Be deliberate in kindness
Being kind to loved ones is easy, and it makes us feel good too. The real test
comes when we reach out on behalf of those we don’t really like. And most often we
don’t really like the mothers we’re really jealous of. So if we want to get rid of our
jealousy, the best way to shovel out the rot of the feelings is to find something very
nice to do for the other mother. It may even lead to a new or renewed friendship!
The bottom line: The beauty of noncompetitive friendships among women is
that each can complement the others so that many of our needs can be met. Yes,
working hard at friendship is a habit in itself. But the benefits are great. It means
we will be there for women and their children (and vice versa) because that’s what
women who love other women do.
Office hours until 7pm….
…because we get it.
Traverse Area Pediatric &
Adolescent Clinic
4020 W. Royal Drive, Traverse City
(231) 421-8099
www.tapactc.com
Innovative, Experienced and Compassionate
care for your newborns, children and teens
Grand Traverse
WOMAN
Luncheon
strong and happy
Every woman strives for joy and contentment, but few seem to have the
answer. It’s a peculiar phenomenon at a time when the world has so
much to offer. Join us at the GTWoman Luncheon on June 2 when
nationally renowned parenting expert, Dr. Meg Meeker, shares: “How to
be Strong Mothers and Happy Women in a Difficult Culture.”
In this talk, Dr. Meg presents issues that women face as we try to find
happiness, why we fall short, and the four steps to achieve the gifts that
are well within our grasp.
Join us for a lunch that will change your direction and meet Dr. Meg!
Pediatrician, mother and best-selling author of six books, Dr. Meg Meeker is the
country’s leading authority on parenting, teens and children’s health. Dr. Meg’s
popularity as a speaker on key issues confronting American families has created
a strong following across the nation and around the world. She has spoken nationally on The Today Show, CNN American Morning, Dateline with Katie Couric,
The O’Reilly Factor, Oprah and Friends, 60 Minutes, Dr. Laura and more. She
Proceeds
Trails
& Suttons Bay Schools
calls Traverse City
home.benefit
Visit herTART
website
at www.megmeekermd.com.
$1000 in cash prizes + Overall, Age Group and All-Finishers Awards
"A beautiful race in a beautiful place"
LEELANAU PENINSULA
Sunday, August 23, 2015
25k Run
2-Person 15k/10k Relay
5k Run/Walk
Benefiting TART Trails & Suttons Bay Schools
Overall, Age Group & All-Finishers Awards
$1000 in cash prizes
www.vineyard2bay25k.com
www.grandtraversewoman.com
May/June '15 27
Grand Traverse Woman
28
May/June '15
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
www.grandtraversewoman.com
May/June '15 29
Grand Traverse Woman
See
Jane
Lose
Janes
It’s the halfway point and after
4 weeks at Fit For You, the changes,
they are a’comin’!
See
Jane
Lose
Jennifer Sheehan 35
photos:
Photography by
Scarlett
MAKEOVER
• Wife to Josh, mom to Brenna (6),
Lillian (5), Nora (3) and Finn (2)
• Full-time funeral director and embalmer at
Covell Funeral Home in Traverse City
25 lbs
Lost
hALFWAY
Height: 5’10”
Weight loss goal:
40 lbs.
WAS: 289 lbs
Now: 264 LBS
Loss so far: 25 lbs
The biggest challenge: My emotions. With so much going on
between the challenge, a full-time job and a large young family,
I have found it difficult not to feel completely overwhelmed. I
feel as though I’m not giving each area of my life 100 percent
and that has been emotionally challenging.
The best unexpected thrill: How much fun I am having
with the girls and the other team members. Every Saturday is
guaranteed to kick our butts, but the team spirit and support
is a high all on its own. It really helps to push through the tough
workouts.
What you love: I love everyone at the gym and all the people
participating. Fit For You has a true passion to get people healthy. Every
time I walk in the door, I am greeted by name with a smile.
What you hate: The food! Not the food itself, but the limited options.
the start
It’s hard remembering how I used to sit down to a meal and really enjoy the
experience of eating… not anymore. Chicken and brown rice and broccoli
can only be made in so many ways WITHOUT salt or anything else that
adds flavor. I am looking forward to making healthy choices with a little more
variety.
The biggest changes: Losing 25 pounds for someone who is 5 ft. 10 in. doesn’t really
show. My clothes aren’t loose yet… well maybe a little in the bust! But, the biggest change I
have noticed is my confidence coming back. I am walking a little taller and speaking out more.
The funniest thing: When I asked my kids if they want to be just like Mom when they
grow up, the reply was: “No, she works out too much!” It has been a big adjustment for them,
but they are taking it well. I’ve always wanted them each to be their own person anyway!
The Jane
Events
The "Jane Reveal" is at
our May 13 GTWoman
Network Nite at Credit
Union ONE from 5-7 p.m.
The Janes will reveal their
final weight loss numbers
as well as their makeovers
from our sponsors.
Join us for the night and
cheer the Janes on!
The Jane
Articles
UP NEXT:
July/August issue:
The final Jane Reveal,
complete with their final
8-week weight loss
stories, makeovers and
pictures.
Each sponsor will also
share the story of how
they took part in the
Jane makeovers.
30
May/June '15
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
Sarah Kime 37
Height: 5’6"
Weight loss goal:
35 lbs.
• Wife, mom to Abby (6) and George (3)
• Division director at the March of Dimes
• Board member at the Great Lakes
Children’s Museum
• Field trip coordinator for TC Mom’s Club
and volunteer at Glenn Loomis Montessori
20 lbs
Lost
hALFWAY
WAS: 215 lbs
Now: 195 lbs
Loss so far: 20 lbs
The biggest challenge: Going out to dinner with my family. I had to bring
my low-fat dressing to the restaurant in my purse. That, plus back-to-back
workouts. I’m incredibly sore.
The best unexpected thrill: Beating my fellow WLC challengers by
winning the wall-sit challenge. I did a 7:30-minute wall sit and won an
additional training session.
What you love: How strong I feel and how great I feel emotionally.
And I’m loving all the perks! Every sponsor has been so gracious and
they have gone out of their way to make me feel great.
What you hate: I don’t like negativity from other people during
the workouts. It’s already hard and I need to stay focused and
positive.
The biggest changes: My mid-section! I’m losing it and
getting my athletic body back.
The funniest thing: Fit For You took a video of me doing a
“high knees” exercise. My glasses were flying all over the place so I
looked like a Muppet doing an exercise video.
the start
Sweat
Our 3 Janes are taking
part in an 8-week
program at our sponsor,
Fit For You Health Club
in Traverse City. The
program includes:
• 16 fat-blasting body
transformation coaching
sessions with the Jane
team
• 8 confidence building
group challenges
• 4 educational seminars
• 8 week Fit For You
Membership
• Done-for-you-meal plan
• Ongoing nutritional
counseling
• Unlimited email coaching
and more!
The
Sass
Hannah Pettigrew 26
• Wife and “mom” to her pets
• Certified Podiatric Medical Assistant
• Volunteer for Safe Harbor with her church
and the annual winter and summer
Microbrew Music Festivals
• Donates hats and scarves to area homeless
The
Height: 5’2”
Weight loss goal:
30 lbs.
GTOC: Skin care for the
Janes, plus makeup and
eyewear
WAS: 185 lbs
Now: 170 lbs
Loss so far: 15 lbs
Imprés Salon Spa:
Hair color & cut, manicure,
make-up and blow out
The biggest challenge: Keeping my mind from
wandering off course. It’s such a mental commitment.
It’s all or nothing.
The best unexpected thrill: The rally among all the group members to
succeed. We all clap. We all hug. We all swear. We all almost vomit. We all
high-five.
What you love: I love the way I feel. My mind is clear. I’m focused. I have so
much more energy than before.
What you hate: Eating breakfast. Yuck. But I do it anyway!
The biggest changes: I never thought I’d enjoy waking up at 4:30
a.m., eating breakfast, working out until 7 a.m. and then going to work.
But it’s energizing.
The funniest thing: I don’t know if there is one specific thing but
there is always something funny to be said when everyone is teasing the
trainers at Fit For You while we’re working out. They are such good sports!
Especially when I change the actual names of exercises to something
completely inappropriate.
15 lbs
Lost
hALFWAY
Photography by
Scarlett:
Before and after photos
Werthmann Life
Coaching
One life-coaching journal/
workbook per Jane and
bi-monthly group sessions
At Your Service
Cleaning
1 house cleaning for each
Jane
the start
Plus Janes get free
tickets to all GTWoman
events during the
program!
At Your Service
Cleaning
www.grandtraversewoman.com
May/June '15 31
Grand Traverse Woman
Grand Traverse
Network Nite
WOMAN
TickeTs
$15 or
2 for $20
Wednesday, may 13 • 5-7 pm
It 's Purse Night ...
The Theme: Join us for Network Nite at Credit Union ONE's new location on Division.
Our theme is “Purse Night” so get out your favoritest, wildest, prettiest, biggest, tiniest, perfectest purse and take it out for fun with the gals.
The Food & Drink: The caterer will be Flavours by Sodexo-NMC and the menu includes Coconut Chicken with Orange Dipping Sauce, Mini Meatballs, Crudites and
Dip, plus Artisan Cheeses and Crackers. There will also (of course!) be red & white
wine and soft drinks. We will have a delicious “purse" cake from Aunt B’s. It will look so
real we will have to force everyone to eat it.
The Prizes: The grand prize is a Dinner and Theatre Package sponsored by Credit
Union ONE. Attendees are also welcome to bring a prize to giveaway at the mic for
their 15 seconds of fame. Put a face to your name with local women! This is limited to
10 women. Please email Kandace@grandtraversewoman.com to be on the prize list.
We will also give away a prize for BEST PURSE!
(Judging done by secret agents in the crowd.)
The Jane Reveal: There will be prizes, laughter,
mingling, networking and the… Jane REVEAL!
Our 3 Janes will reveal their final weight loss and
makeovers. It’s sure to be a night of celebration,
laughter and (good) tears!
See
Jane
Lose
Location host:
Credit Union ONE
In their new location!
1407 S Division St,
Traverse City
See
Jane
Grand Traverse Lose
... and the
Jane Reveal !
MAKEOVER
SPONSORS
WOMAN
More info and tickets available at www.grandtraversewoman.com.
32
May/June '15
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
Dentistry for the whole family.
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www.grandtraversewoman.com
May/June '15 33
Grand Traverse Woman
Anne with daughters Noemi and Maeva, and husband Julien.
‘A fa n t a s t i c
a dv e n t u r e’
From France to TC,
one family learns American culture
By Anne Grascoeur
When I said, “Yes, I do!” to Julien Grascoeur on a white, sandy
Hawaiian beach a decade ago, I knew I was about to share my life
with a globetrotter, and that it would greatly impact our family life.
Sure enough, traveling became our favorite activity, first for leisure
and soon professionally. In October 2010, Julien joined Materne
North America to become a plant director, taking up the challenge
to build production facilities in Michigan and produce GoGo squeeZ
(applesauce in squeezable pouches) for the United States market. In
turn, our family of four decided to move from France to Traverse City
with genuine enthusiasm.
Although Julien and I had lived abroad several years and were
familiar with the American culture, it was our first significant
international move as a family, with our not-quite-5-year-old twin
daughters. We had eight months of preparation ahead of us. In
June 2011 we left Strasbourg, France, with two suitcases each, an
outrageous number of carry-ons, two kids and the cat… enough
until the arrival of our container at an undetermined date.
I would like to share my story as a mom, wife and woman facing
an international move with young children for my spouse’s career.
And how, as a family, we have turned what can be looked upon as a
substantial challenge into a fantastic adventure.
Story from a mom
“Kids come first,” one says. The story of the mom is probably the
most stressful of this mini trilogy because I didn't want my daughters
to be affected by our adventurous and professional choices. I had my
mind set on how to facilitate their international integration.
At home before the move, we decided to speak mostly English for
a while. Before our arrival, I had Googled all Traverse City-related
websites, and had identified many possible ways to expose our
daughters to English before school would start.
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www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
My husband and I had also chosen Old Mission
Peninsula Elementary School early, estimating
that its smaller size would provide a stimulating
environment and contribute to a smooth transition.
And yet, there was an endless list of questions
in the back of my mind: How was I supposed to
enroll my daughters in school? School was closed
for the summer. What immunization records were
to be provided? Was there going to be day care or
after-school activities? Even how to pay for lunch.
All of these very basic pieces of information
were the ones I struggled with the most until I
found my way through a maze of acronyms such
as TCAPS, LEAP.
My daughters were warmly welcomed at school,
and they have received outstanding support from
their teachers, literacy club and ESL classes, school
staff and friends.
They now speak English fluently and even enjoy
giving me a pronunciation lesson every once in
a while. I sometimes laugh at myself and wonder
why I worried so much. Kids simply adapt!
Story from a wife and woman
As a spouse and woman, I don’t see anything
extraordinary in supporting my husband’s career
move. But I have to confess that moving across the
ocean definitely adds intensity, because it is never
easy to leave family, friends and your own career
behind in an international context.
Thankfully, technology makes it easier to
maintain relationships with friends and family
when you move. When relatives visit, they just visit
a bit more extensively. My American friends often
joke that, even though their family lives downstate,
they don’t see them as much as we see ours! All in
all, it comes down to a matter of budget to manage
the distance and the psychological impact of
having to take an international flight home.
In this adventure, my career stop was a more
difficult point to handle. On the one hand, I was
well aware that my kids and husband needed me to
be the pillar of this international move and that my
being an at-home mom would help it significantly.
But my culture and education as an independent
woman quickly made me feel uncomfortable not
to be working.
Therefore I found middle ground, first by
working on my personal professional transition by
getting a Masters in Human Resources Management
Degree that I can use on the local market. Second,
by getting involved in the community and spending
time deciphering my new environment. And,
more recently, by taking advantage of the current
possibilities of working remotely.
Story from an adventurer
As a family, there is no doubt that we have dealt
beautifully with this Unknown (with a capital U)
that was Traverse City a few years back. We are
daily trying to make the most of this enriching
opportunity we have to embrace a new lifestyle
and truly have enjoyed so far the specificities of
American culture, first as observers but now more
and more actively.
When we go back to visit France, my kids
tell anyone who will listen that, after all, they
feel half American. And last fall, I couldn’t help
but smile when they asked if we could celebrate
Thanksgiving. I saw this as a result of the dual
culture that is silently emerging within our family.
Along the same lines, we came to particularly
enjoy the idea of iconic road trips. Last spring we
toured the national parks (Grand Canyon, Arches,
Zion, Monument Valley and Bryce Canyon). And
this year, we seriously watched the Super Bowl!
I would like to extend a warm “thank you” to all
the extraordinary families and durable friends we
have met in Traverse City, as they have definitely
played a huge role in our success story. Out of the
great adventures we’ve had through our travels,
and the places we’ve been, there is no doubt that
people are what we value the most.
Anne Grascoeur, 37, and a native of Bordeaux, France,
lives in Traverse City with her husband and 9-yearold twin daughters. She holds two master’s degrees, in
French and European Business Law and Operational
Human Resources Management, and is currently
seeking opportunities to resume her career in H.R.
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(231) 941-1137 • 1824 Cass Hartman Court • Traverse City
May/June '15 35
Grand Traverse Woman
The author with her daughters: (l-r) Angie, Rachel (top), Danielle, Shirley and Nicole.
Four labors
One
midwife
‘I wouldn’t have done it any other way’
By Shirley Aboudib
Early on in our marriage, my husband, Tony,
began his studies to become a chiropractor. I
wasn’t familiar with chiropractic, but I liked the
wholesome, natural approach to healthcare.
One day Tony showed me a book by Dr.
Robert Mendelsohn, a medical doctor and critic
of the modern healthcare system. The doctor
believed that childbirth was a natural process
and should not take place in a setting where
disease was present. He was a promoter of
natural childbirth and home birth.
I loved this idea and we decided when the
time came this would be our choice. And so
our story began of how a calm, skilled midwife
helped us through our four labors and the unique
challenges and joys they brought with them.
Our first daughter, Rachel, was born after I
experienced pre-ruptured membranes and a very
long 30-hour labor. But she was born healthy,
with our midwife and my mother as witnesses.
36
May/June '15
The next year, I was pregnant again. When
it was time to deliver, both my mom and dad
wanted to come. I have always been close with
my dad, but wasn’t sure if I would be comfortable
with him there.
I took our midwife’s advice: “Just wait and see
how things play out.” This was the best advice.
At one point, when my back labor was very
intense, the midwife asked if my dad—who
had been pacing the hallways—could hold the
heating pad on my back. It helped. Things
progressed quickly after that and dad never left
the room. He sat behind me, which made it less
intimidating.
Because of the speed of my labor, however,
this second baby was born blue, lacking oxygen.
Seeing a child with blue-gray coloring was very
frightening. We all wondered: “Is he OK?” (I
was sure the baby was a boy, but in truth it was
another daughter for us.)
The midwife was prepared with an oxygen
tank and a tiny little facemask. She placed the
baby on my abdomen and encouraged us to rub
the baby’s body while she administered oxygen.
Everything happened so fast that we didn’t have
time to panic. And within about 10 minutes baby
Nicole had her normal pink color back.
I thank God that our midwife was so calm
and knowledgeable. She didn’t alarm us and did
what she needed to do to improve the outcome
of our birth.
When my dad, who had not been present
during my mom’s seven deliveries, held Nicole
close, he said with tears in his eyes, “I’ve seen
calves born, puppies born and kittens born, but
I’ve never seen a baby born.” He told everyone
how thrilled he was to be there for her birth.
Having him present also helped solidify a bond
that we still share today. I’m so glad the midwife
helped make that connection happen.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
Next came baby Danielle, and another labor scenario. This time I had
meconium-stained amniotic fluid, which is potentially dangerous if the
baby ingests it. It was something that wasn’t apparent until birth, but the
midwife suctioned our baby’s mouth as a precaution and she was fine.
Our fourth labor—yes, another daughter—proved to be our most
complicated delivery.
Many prayers were said for this little one as my four previous
miscarriages were always in the back of my mind.
When it was time for delivery it was expected that everything would
move fast, but she didn’t seem to be progressing through the birth canal
very easily. And when the midwife told me not to push I was a little
distraught. It was a natural impulse to push at that point.
I did a lot of deep breathing and relied on Tony to help me deal with
the labor pain by using pressure-point therapy. To add to the stress of the
moment, our three older girls were in the room. We had prepared them,
but, of course, they were also concerned about the new baby’s delay.
That’s when we learned the umbilical cord was wrapped around the
baby’s neck. Her head had barely crowned so the midwife had to gently
push the baby back in, far enough so that she could work her finger
under the cord and slide it over the baby’s little head. This can be a
difficult and uncomfortable procedure, but it created enough room for
my daughter to advance down the birth canal and finally be born.
It wasn’t until after the delivery that we also realized she had a true
knot in her umbilical cord—shortening it even more. This can happen
when the baby is very active in utero and actually ties it into a knot.
Our midwife was so wise. Pushing the baby too soon could have
caused the cord to become too tight and potentially cut off the blood
supply to the baby causing distress and possibly death.
Afterward, I sobbed. It was such a relief to know this child had arrived
safely and was now in my arms.
I thought back to the night before. We were sitting in the back yard
and 5-year-old Danielle came running up to us pointing to the clouds.
There was a skytracker light wildly chasing across the low cloud cover,
I’m sure advertising some business grand opening. But my daughter’s
sweet, innocent mind didn’t see that.
She yelled, “Look mommy, the angels are dancing on the clouds. They
are telling us that our baby is coming.”
Sure enough, within a few hours I was in active labor. My daughter
was right, God and angels have always been a part of our household after
so much loss and I believe they watch over us and protect us from harm.
It seemed appropriate to name our fourth baby, Angela, since the angels
announced her birth!
People have asked me how I could be brave enough to deliver at home.
I feel just the opposite. It would take a lot of courage for me to deliver
in a hospital. I have always felt that women have been having babies for
thousands of years outside of hospitals and if they could do it, so could I.
We were fortunate to have a very skilled midwife. Though each birth
was different, our midwife was able to give us advice on how to handle
things. She always told us that if we decided to go the medical route she
would support us and go with us. It was very comforting to have her in
our corner.
It seems like the medical profession sometimes scares women
unnecessarily into thinking they can’t handle what God has created their
bodies to do. Our midwife had prepared us.
When I see women on TV in a total panic because they have gone
into labor at home I wonder what they are so panicked about. It’s
because no one has prepared them for one of the most natural events in
a woman’s life. I feel so blessed to have been able to deliver my children
at home surrounded by family and comforted by familiar surroundings.
I wouldn’t have done it any other way.
Shirley Popp Aboudib was born and raised in Leelanau County and moved to
Texas where she met her husband, Dr. Tony Aboudib. They moved to Traverse
City in 2004 and opened Advanced Chiropractic and Wellness, the clinic where
they work together. They have four daughters.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
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May/June '15 37
Grand Traverse Woman
Choosing
happiness
over money
By Shann Vander Leek
I almost didn’t pick it up. I was deep into budget planning for
my high-powered job in television advertising and didn’t want to
interrupt the painstaking process. On the third or fourth ring,
however, I answered the call that would forever change the course
of my life.
On the line was John, a charismatic former colleague and master
negotiator. Without preamble, he offered me a mind-blowing position
with a media company in Austin, Texas. The promotion would mean
a brag-worthy management position, a virtually unlimited expense
account and a truly insane salary several times greater than the six
figures I was already bringing in. Talk about an ego boost and a fork
in my road!
Part of me was jumping up and down screaming, “Hell, yes! This
is it!” This was my chance to manifest a lifestyle that most people can
only dream about. I would be an instant millionaire! But the other
part of me was overwhelmed with all of the changes that would come
with my new role and lifestyle transformation.
John was certain that I should step up my game, join his company
and get rich quick. But my intuition was telling me to consider his
offer with great care.
While I was weighing my options, a friend gave me a photocopy
of one of the chapters of the Chinese classic text known as the Tao Te
Ching. This is the passage that got my attention:
“Fame or integrity: which is more important? Money or happiness:
which is more valuable? Success or failure: which is more destructive?
If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never truly be fulfilled.
If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with
yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things
are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world
belongs to you.”
Philosopher Lao Tzu’s words struck a deep chord in me. What
would it really mean for me to choose fame and fortune, I wondered?
One of the biggest drawbacks to the new position was the need
to uproot my family. My husband and I adored living in northern
Michigan. My husband moved a lot growing up, and felt that he
missed out on having a home base with long-time friends. I was
quite precocious, and grew up way too fast; so I wanted our daughter,
Marin (who was not quite two at the time) to be able to be a child for
as long as possible in a safe place surrounded by water, woods and
38
May/June '15
beth price Photography
The phone rang at exactly 11:11 a.m.
wildlife. Together, we were hell-bent on giving her what we missed
out on.
Ultimately, after several conversations and with the understanding
that there was nothing lacking in our lives, we chose to stay put. We
were happy and comfortable. The financial rewards of a new position
were not enough to move us away from our family and the pristine
landscape we loved.
I chose my family first. I chose happiness over stacks of cash. I
chose to rejoice in the way things were. No regrets.
But life didn’t go on as usual. That dream job offer and the passage
of the Tao had changed everything for me. It was as if the shades had
been lifted to brighten up my world. I became inspired to celebrate
my life—to rejoice in the way things were. It was time to let go of
choices, roles and behaviors that were no longer serving me, and
make room for more peace, gratitude and joy. I began the journey of
returning to the center of who I really am.
I realized that I’d kicked my body to the curb for far too long. I was
ready to get moving again. Friends invited me to check out a martial
arts class, thinking I’d enjoy it. They were right! I started practicing
Kuntaw (Filipino hand and foot fighting). After a couple of years, it
led me to my first yoga class.
Everything, and I mean everything, began to shift in my life. I felt
a higher level of consciousness than I’d ever felt before. I was being
reborn—birthing myself, in the way I had birthed Marin just two
years before.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
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Kuntaw and yoga became the catalysts for a mind shift.
I realized that I was no longer content with my corporate
career. That’s when I embraced my spirituality and set off
down a path of entrepreneurial freedom, coaching women
to make powerful transitions in their life. I have never
looked back.
When I connect the dots today, I can clearly see the chain
of events that opened my heart to a new way of being. By
choosing my family, I took the first step toward choosing
happiness—for them and for myself.
I’ve also learned to embrace my power and creative
expression, both of which have led me to dozens of lifealtering experiences. I’ve taken a liking to photography,
written my first book and co-authored four more, sat in
silent retreat, become a certified yoga teacher, journaled my
heart out and participated in several healing sweat lodge
ceremonies.
I have re-read the Tao Te Ching several times over the
years since I turned down John’s tempting job offer. Lao
Tzu’s ancient prose was my gateway to discovering my
spirituality and my happiness. The quote that changed my
mind, and my life, is prominently displayed over my sacred
altar to this day.
Through it all, I’ve found that choosing to live in a
state of gratitude is a healthy (and sometimes challenging)
daily practice. A great deal of my strength comes from the
courage to be transparent, flexible and vulnerable. With
me, what you see is what you get. I’m okay with that,
because everything I need is already inside of me. As Lao
Tzu wrote: “When you realize there is nothing lacking, the
whole world belongs to you.”
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Shann Vander Leek is a transformation enthusiast, lifelong media
expert, best-selling author and voice-over talent. She blogs at
Transformation Goddess and co-hosts the award-winning
Anxiety Slayer Podcast with over 1.5 million listens. Visit her at
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May/June '15 39
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Grand Traverse Woman
Military
From sea bag
to diaper bag
By April Caverly
April, Jackson
and christopher
For over 8 years, my sleep deprivation
was caused by overnight duty shifts; standing
watch and monitoring maritime distress
frequencies or sounding the alarm to launch
the helicopter duty crew. Now I’m a mom. Late
nights are spent standing watch over my son’s
crib. His cries are my alarm and my duty is to be
the best mommy I can be.
I enlisted in the U.S. Coast Guard during my
senior year of high school. I left for Recruit Basic
Training, also known as boot camp, in Cape
May, N.J., just two weeks after graduation.
Most of my friends had no idea who the Coast
Guard was or what they did, and to be honest,
I really had no idea myself. It wasn’t until I was
a few weeks into boot camp that I realized what
a multi-mission service it was and how many
career paths it offered.
This branch of the military is responsible for
many missions, including Search and Rescue
(please wear your life jackets), Maritime Law
Enforcement (don’t drink and boat), Ice Breaking
Operations (how else will the ferry get to Beaver
Island?), Drug and Migrant Interdictions, Aids
to Navigation (like Jimmy Buffet says, keep it
between the buoys), and Marine Environmental
Protection.
After 8 weeks of boot camp, I attended Class
“A” School (technical/job specialty training) at
the Coast Guard Training Center in Petaluma,
Calif., to become an Operations Specialist.
There, I heard so many stories from my
instructors of lives they have saved and amazing
experiences they had. I really had a job that
40
May/June '15
mattered, and I could not wait to get out into
the fleet!
After graduating, I received orders to
Communications Station Kodiak, Ala., a landbased unit. Our job was to monitor long-range
communications for the Bering Sea, Gulf of
Alaska and North Pacific Ocean. We listened to
maritime distress frequencies monitoring for any
signs of distress, delivered weather broadcasts
and safety alerts and kept in communications
with Coast Guard assets.
My first winter, I had the opportunity to
go on a 7-week patrol in the Bering Sea with
the Coast Guard Cutter Alex Haley to see the
operational side of the Coast Guard. It was
something most people only get to experience
by watching extreme shows like “Coast Guard
Alaska.”
I was able to board a few boats carrying
Discovery Channel film crews. And I got to meet
the late Captain Phil Harris who was the owner/
captain of the Cornelia Marie, the “Deadliest
Catch” boat. My time up there was truly an
amazing experience.
Then in 2009 I received orders to Air Station
Traverse City, my number one choice of units.
Having been raised in Michigan, I was excited to
be close to friends and family again.
I spent four rewarding years stationed at the
Air Station working for, and alongside, some of
the best Officers and Coastguardsmen in this
service. During my tour in Traverse City I got
to be a part of this amazing community, which
became an official Coast Guard City in 2010.
I volunteered at a local school through our
Partners in Education program and had the
opportunity to participate in multiple Cherry
Festival Air Show’s and parades, open houses
and other events where the community support
for our unit was overwhelming.
I knew that some day I would end up
making Traverse City my permanent home. But
“someday” came a lot sooner than I planned.
I was transferred to the Coast Guard’s Ninth
District Command Center in Cleveland, Ohio,
which oversees all operations on the Great Lakes
and navigable waterways of this region.
There, after a long 12-hour shift in February
2014, I learned I was pregnant. I felt a million
emotions at once. Instead of focusing on the
present, I immediately jumped forward 8
months. I was not ready, nor had I planned to
become a mom. There were no daycare centers
that were open for the hours that I worked. Plus,
my family, friends and boyfriend Christopher
were back in Michigan. I had no idea what I was
going to do.
I made the hard decision to separate from
Active Duty and move to Traverse. I wanted
my child to grow up knowing his relatives and
did not feel that moving around every few years
would be the best lifestyle for us. I traded in my
steel toe boots for baby booties, and my sea bag
for a diaper bag.
On October 13, 2014 I delivered a healthy
and happy baby boy, Jackson Christopher. My
heart felt more love than I ever knew was
possible the moment I first saw him. There was
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Grand Traverse Woman
a point I thought the Coast Guard was my whole
life, then suddenly I had this precious gift and
could not imagine my life without him.
Now I serve in the Coast Guard Reserves,
which is basically a “part-time” job where I only
work two days a month and serve two weeks on
active duty orders during the summer in Sault
Ste. Marie, Mich.
The first month I had to make the trip to the
Soo, I was not ready to leave Jackson for two
nights, so it became a family trip. That way I
could still come back to my little man at night in
the hotel. The next time I went alone and Jackson
stayed home with daddy in Traverse City. It was
the longest two days ever.
I’ve been through a huge lifestyle change. In
a few short months I not only became a mom, I
also moved (and moved in with my significant
other), reported to a brand new Coast Guard unit
as a Reservist and started a brand new career
doing something not even remotely related to
what I had been doing for nearly a decade. (Did
I mention I now sell real estate with my new
flexible schedule?) Any one of those components
would have been stressful, add them all together
and watch your world flip upside down.
I’m thankful my employer Christine
Stalsonburg is very pro-military and understands
my commitments so I am able to accommodate
working both jobs. She herself is a retired fire
chief and the mother of two army veterans.
We work great together because she really
understands every aspect of this lifestyle.
I would be lying if I said it has been easy or if
I haven’t had my moments filled with tears and
wondering how I’m going to get through the next
day. I’m very fortunate to have someone by my
side—as well as close family and friends—to tell
me it will be okay.
thinking, “What if?” but one look over at my son
and I don’t regret a single thing. One smile from
him makes every challenge and struggle worth
the fight.
April Caverly works full time as a Realtor for Cherry
Wings Realty in Traverse City. The company focuses on
“Serving Those Who Serve” with their participation in
the Hero Rewards Program giving back to Military, Fire,
Law Enforcement and EMS Personnel. April is also a
full time mommy to son Jackson while also serving in the
Coast Guard Reserve in Sault Ste. Marie, Mich.
It is truly amazing watching my son grow and
Left:
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the flag at a retirement
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theof helicopters
flying ceremony held at Air Station Traverse City. Right: April,
everyday.
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the lifeAirI’m
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over
participating in the Search and Rescue Demonstration duringlearn
the 2013
National Cherry
Show.
As the "duck"
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as a constant reminder of the past and
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I’mwas
so"rescued"
proud tobybe
on active mom duty!
or "survivor," she was dropped off in West Bay by a surface asset
helicopter.
the life I left behind. Sometimes I find myself
Watch
Real Life Retirement
Wisdom for Women
Did you know?
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Traverse City, MI 49684 Tel: 231-946-1630 Fax: 231-946-1240
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May/June '15
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
Grand Traverse
WOMAN
Luncheon
HOW TO BE STRONG MOTHERS
AND HAPPY WOMEN
IN A DIFFICULT CULTURE
DR. MEG MEEKER
speaker
TUESDAY, JUNE 2, 2015 • 11AM-1PM
Pediatrician, mother and best-selling author of six books, Dr. Meg Meeker is the country’s leading
authority on parenting, teens and children’s health. Dr. Meg combines the know-how of a pediatrician and the big heart of a mother. Her work with countless families over the years served as the
inspiration behind her best-selling books, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, The Ten Habits of
Happy Mothers, and Strong Mothers, Strong Sons.
Join The Strong Parent Project
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Dr. Meg’s popularity as a speaker on key issues confronting American families has created a strong
following across the nation and around the world. She has spoken nationally on The Today Show,
CNN American Morning, Dateline with Katie Couric, The O’Reilly Factor, Oprah and Friends, 60
Minutes, Dr. Laura and more. And she calls Traverse City home, lucky us!
For our GTWoman luncheon, she will be presenting “How to be Strong Mothers and Happy
Women in a Difficult Culture.”
Every woman yearns for joy, contentment and happiness but few seem to really find any of these.
This is a peculiar phenomenon at a time when we are given more answers than one could possibly
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May/June '15 43
Grand Traverse Woman
The
1,000-Mile
Mid-Life Crisis
This extreme hiker knows
the Mitten State like the
back of her hand
By Loreen Niewenhuis
Loreen on Flowerpot Island off the tip of Ontario’s Bruce Peninsula.
44
I was 45 years old. My marriage of 25 years had dissolved. One son was
off to college. I was facing an empty nest. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to be stuck
in an office. Call it a “mid-life crisis.” I was searching for that next thing. I just felt
I needed to do something new and different.
So I set a big goal for 2009: hike 1,000 miles around the perimeter of Lake
Michigan.
I was never a long-distance hiker or runner, so the idea of walking that far
sounded crazy to me. It still does. I had no idea if I could accomplish my goal.
That was part of the challenge: the possibility that I might fail. That way, if I did
complete it, I knew I would be changed by the experience. And I was.
Adventure #1
Adventure #2
After saving up money for my journey, and living by the advice to “keep a low overhead,” I began
trekking counterclockwise along the lake, starting in
Chicago. I hiked around 15 miles each day by myself
while lugging a 35-pound backpack. When I could,
I preferred to spend the night in my hammock tent
near the water. Other times I stayed with friends or
in nearby B&Bs.
I learned so much about Lake Michigan along
the way. I interviewed experts and people who lived
on the edge of the water, visited museums and fish
hatcheries, sought out historic sites and encountered
the Suttons Bay “school ship” that is a floating Great
Lakes classroom for kids.
I found I wasn’t lonely. I enjoyed the solitude of my
hikes and the time to reflect.
Having enjoyed dune trips as a child, I felt at home
on the sand. The way I’ve described it to people is
that the exertion of hiking fell away, and it felt like the
earth was turning beneath me, like it was completely
effortless and I was completely alive in the moment.
Those 64 days were a transformational experience:
they reshaped my body, sharpened my senses to be
perceptive to nature and expanded my belief of what
I could accomplish. The journey also allowed me to
fully explore my favorite place, to record it in my
muscles and bones as I encircled it step-by-step.
It seemed only natural for me, as a novelist, to
write about my experience. My book, A 1,000-Mile
Walk on the Beach, struck a chord with many readers
who also love Lake Michigan.
Suddenly, one big goal wasn’t enough. That first
adventure gave rise to another: hiking 1,000 miles to
explore shoreline stretches of all five Great Lakes in
2012. My finish line was Niagara Falls. (Luckily, I was
able to fund this second dream with the help of book
sales and speaking engagements.)
I made sure to respect each state’s laws regarding
public and private land. In Michigan, I learned the
area near the water that is free of vegetation is a public
zone and anyone can walk there even if private homes
are built on the shoreline. In most other states, I had to
walk in the wash zone (the area the waves are moving
over) in order to be on public land.
Docks and breakwalls often had to be clamored
over. And for deeper crossings or swampy areas, there
were times I used large trash bags as waders since they
could easily be packed and unpacked.
Without music or distractions, I was left alone with
my thoughts. I discovered the unique personalities of
each lake, walked the geological layers exposed at the
water’s edge and also hiked some of the connecting
waters between the lakes. There’s something about
being where water meets land that makes me feel I
could go on forever.
I remember one evening camping on a remote
stretch of Lake Huron, I watched a river otter playing
in the lake until the sun set. Along my hikes, I met many people, struck up
countless conversations and received several invitations for lodging. But I only needed to accept one such
housing offer from a woman I met up near the 40-Mile
May/June '15
Point Lighthouse on Lake Huron. Sometimes strangers would join me and share what the lakes meant to
them. But the majority of my walks were alone. It was
nice to have the time alone walking the shoreline to
contemplate and re-imagine my life in the future.
The whole experience was captured in my second
book, A 1,000-Mile Great Lakes Walk. I was thrilled
when the book won the “Great Lakes Great Reads
Award” from the Great Lakes Independent Booksellers
Association. One favorite part of the journey was being able to
hop out to several islands along the way. Those excursions led to even more inspiration: the conception of
my third adventure, a 1,000-mile journey exploring
many of the islands of the Great Lakes.
Adventure #3
The concept for this adventure was simple: spend
one year visiting islands in each of the five Great Lakes
by hiking, kayaking, rowing, boating and even biking
until I accrued 1,000 miles.
As I began my research, I learned that there are
over 30,000 islands in the Great Lakes and their
connecting waters. Yes, there are tens of thousands of
islands in the Great Lakes basin. How would I choose
which islands to visit?
I knew I wanted to explore both remote islands
and inhabited island communities, near shore islands
and wild landmasses only accessible by a long boat
or plane.
I settled on these choices that would take me to
islands in every Great Lake:
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Loreen on Isle Royale with a pair of moose antlers.
• Isle Royale in Lake Superior is a National Park, and I’d never been there.
Moose and wolves inhabit this wild island and scientists have studied their
interaction for more than 50 years (it is the longest-running wildlife study ever
done). I got in touch with the experts conducting the research and asked to get
involved. I contributed by being part of a team of hikers charged with collecting
moose bones on the island.
• The Manitou Islands (North and South) in Lake Michigan are part of the
Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore. North Manitou has the largest population of the endangered Great Lakes piping plovers nesting there every year. I
volunteered to help monitor these birds.
• The Lake Erie Islands north of Port Clinton, Ohio, were the staging area
for the Battle of Lake Erie in 1813. In 2013, the bicentennial year for this battle,
I took part in a reenactment of the historic event as a passenger on one of the
tall ships that gathered in Lake Erie.
• Manitoulin Island in Lake Huron is the largest in the Great Lakes and the
largest freshwater island in the world. Rock flats there bear scrapes and gouges
from the glaciers that encroached 10,000 years ago to form the basins for our
Great Lakes.
• The St. Lawrence River at the east end of Lake Ontario is loaded with
islands (the Thousand Islands) and I kayaked among them.
• Washington Island is located at the tip of the Door Peninsula in Wisconsin,
and I was determined to explore there, too. This island has a permanent
population of 600 people, many of whom have descended from Icelandic and
Scandinavian immigrants. I will say, visiting islands that were tourist destinations and seeing groups of people made me miss my family and friends. I made
sure to take time to phone home and stay connected to the people in my life.
Last fall I completed this most fascinating adventure by hiking the final miles
on Mackinac Island. Friends and family and followers gathered there with me
to walk at my side and then celebrate the end of the journey. People came from
as far away as North Carolina and northern Wisconsin to walk the final miles
with me.
I celebrated my 50th birthday during this journey among the islands, and
I feel stronger and more confident than ever. The limitations I thought I had
about my life and what I could accomplish have evaporated, and I am completely captivated with our vast inland seas, our Great Lakes.
In total, I’ve worn out 6 pairs of hiking boots—one pair took me more than
700 miles! I’ve walked thousands of miles solo around these lakes of ours and
lived to tell the tale. I’m so thankful—my mid-life crisis evolved into a series of
wonderful, mid-life adventures.
Meet Loreen!
Friday, May 29 - Book reading at
Brilliant Books, Traverse City, 7 p.m.
Tuesday, June 2 - Presentation at
the Leland Township Library at 3 p.m.
Book signing at 4:30-6 p.m.
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Loreen Niewenhuis lives in Battle Creek, and
will tour in 2015 with the book about her
latest adventure: A 1,000-Mile Great Lakes
Island Adventure will be available through
independent booksellers in May before it goes
into full release in June. Learn more about
her at www.LakeTrek.com.
May/June '15 45
Annelise Nicole Photography
Grand Traverse Woman
A birth defect
made this fam ily
stron g e r
By Patti Miller
The millers: Chris holding Ellisyn Joy; Seated: Lilia Faith, Patti and Maya Hope.
‘One lucky mama’
Nothing could have prepared me for my journey with my daughter, Ellisyn Joy. It
began with shock at the sight of a positive pregnancy test while my daughters—ages 2 years
and 8 months—played in the next room. My husband, Chris, and I had always wanted three
kids, just maybe not this close together. He was excited and supportive, but I couldn’t shake
the anxiety. Something just felt wrong. I couldn’t get happy.
I remember that our 20-week ultrasound lasted forever. At first, it was fun to see our baby
for so long, moving and kicking. We were having another girl. Then our doctor came in and
changed our lives forever. Something wasn’t right. She couldn’t tell us what. Our baby’s heart
and lungs looked fine, but the shape of her head and spine were of concern. We would need
to see a specialist. I couldn’t breathe. My heart dropped. I choked back tears. We had hoped
that it would be something small...but it wasn’t.
Two weeks later—the longest two weeks of my life—a specialist from DeVos Children’s
Hospital in Grand Rapids diagnosed our baby with Spina Bifida. I was numb. I didn’t know
anything about this birth defect. He explained as much as he could… How Spina Bifida is a
neural tube birth defect in which the spinal cord does not develop correctly. The location of
the defect would determine our daughter’s nerve damage and abilities. She would most likely
be paralyzed or have some loss of function. I learned there are four types, but there was no
way of knowing the severity at this point in the pregnancy.
Then the specialist informed us that we had two weeks to legally abort the pregnancy.
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May/June '15
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Grand Traverse Woman
There was so much uncertainty. But we decided
our baby would be one of the 1,500 children born
in the United States with some form of Spina
Bifida that year.
The rest of the pregnancy was a blur of tears,
anger, guilt, research, appointments, ultrasounds,
plans and updates. We decided we would deliver
at Mott Children’s Hospital in Ann Arbor because
we had family nearby and the doctors felt
confident that I could deliver her naturally instead
of via C-section.
I went into labor at 37 weeks. After a very
scary drive to the hospital at about 90 mph and 11
hours of labor, our beautiful daughter made her
appearance at 7:59 a.m. on August 4, 2013. It was
a moment of pure joy.
I delivered in the operating room and, as they
rushed her away, I got to see her little legs moving
and kicking. My husband was able to follow her
and watch as she tried to crawl off the table as
they tried to cover her back with Saran wrap. We
were so happy.
At the hospital, we found out Elli has
the most severe type of Spina Bifida, called
myelomeningocele. Basically, her spine developed
with a hole in it and skin grew around it, causing
the spine to be exposed.
She needed surgery to close it right after birth.
Also, her defect was between the L4 and L5
vertebrates, not as low on the spinal cord as we
were hoping.
Our daughter was in the NICU for 11 days,
which was amazing considering they told us to
prepare to be there for at least a month. She went
through a six-hour repair surgery with a team of
neurosurgeons and plastic surgeons. After that, it
was a whirlwind of nurses, doctors, feeding tubes,
tests and head ultrasounds.
It was pure agony not being able just to pick
Elli up and snuggle her. She was so sweet, tiny
and even tempered. The hardest part for our
family was never knowing when we were going
home and dividing time between our daughters
and the hospital. We are blessed with a very
supportive family. I’m not sure what we would
have done without them. I can’t describe how
amazing it was when it was time to bring our
baby home.
Every day Elli surprises us and surpasses all
expectations. She walks with a walker and has
ankle braces. Every smile and laugh and obstacle
she overcomes makes every bit of our journey
worth it.
It hasn’t been an easy road. At two months
old, she had excessive fluid in her brain, a
condition called hydrocephalus. She had surgery
to insert a tube, called a shunt, into her head to
drain the fluid so that her brain could develop
correctly. At four months, some testing indicated
that, due to the nerve damage from her defect,
she was unable to go to the bathroom on her
own. I use a catheter to help her go every four
hours to prevent kidney damage.
Elli is now 19 months old and completes our
family in a way we can’t explain. She is happy and
sweet and loves with such a big heart.
There are so many days that I hate Spina
Bifida and all the insurance issues, appointments
and medications, but with every new challenge,
Ellisyn reminds me of how much stronger we are
now as a family.
We aren’t exactly sure what the future holds,
but we try to look for the happy in each day and
celebrate the little accomplishments. I am one
lucky mama with three very different, beautiful
girls who melt my heart when they show each other
understanding and kindness at such young ages.
Nothing could have prepared us for this
journey, but I wouldn’t change a thing. So to all
the moms out there, especially those who have
kids with special needs, or who just got some
tough news during your pregnancy, you are
not alone. It will be OK. You never know what
miracles tomorrow will bring.
Patti Miller is a stay-at-home mom and artist in
Traverse City. She and her husband, Christopher, have
three daughters: Lilia Faith 4; Maya Hope 3; and
Ellisyn Joy, 20 months.
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May/June '15 47
Grand Traverse Woman
Two Girls. Two Years. One Boat.
Surviving the Great American Loop
By Jessie Zevalkink
Three years ago, my best friend Katie Smith and I had this wild idea
ers consisting of the Illinois, Mississippi, Tennessee and Tombigbee waterways
thrown into our lap by my father to buy a boat and sail to the Bahamas alone. leading us towards the Gulf of Mexico. It took us about a month to adjust to
Yes, that’s right, my own father suggested that “his little girl” hop on a sailboat our new simple way of living/camping, and fall into our roles as captains and
and head for the open ocean. With minimal sailing experience, and no ocean as crew.
After two more months we made it to Fort Myers Beach Florida, where we
cruising knowledge, this idea seemed nearly impossible.
ran
out of money. Desperate for work, we spent a season waitressing—sling Katie and I have been best friends since we were little girls. Equally as
ing food and drink to get back to our dream. Four months later, our wallets
wild and free as we were level-headed and
were full.
on-course. We knew no one else in our lives
The Okeechobee Waterway slices the state
interested in leaving everything comforting
of Florida in half—east to west—with just
and familiar behind. But it seemed exciting.
enough water to pass through via boat. We
We became addicted to its possibility.
spent five days crossing the state, alligator
“America’s Great Loop” is 5,000 to 7,000
hunting and bird identifying under the heat of
miles of inland rivers and waterways circling
the sun, while drinking warm beer and baththe eastern half of America. It is an uncoming with thick swamp water.
mon journey known mainly by those who live
Traveling south down the intra-coastal
along the route, and taken mostly by retired
waterway, we glided by mansions with front
folk. My father traveled the Loop back in the
doors larger than our mast and yachts the size
70’s and has talked about it for as long as I can
of Rhode Island. We passed time by picking
remember. The only reason Katie and I were
out our dream homes, playing “would-youup for the challenge was because we hadn’t
rather,” listening to the same play-list over and
a clue what we were getting ourselves into.
over, reading, writing and trouble shooting
Which is why this is all somewhat comedic.
constant engine issues.
We were partners in crime, and this crime was
Every day was different, always a new
too good to pass up.
problem to solve or a new topic to discuss. By
The idea started as a joke for several
the time we reached Miami, our next hurdle
months, but as time passed that joke morphed
was to cross the Gulf Stream—equivalent to a
into a precise plan. We bought the boat, and
50 mile-wide Mississippi River in the middle
moved back home to Michigan. Just because
of the ocean, where the current runs up to 5
the idea was handed to us, didn’t mean anyknots, and swells will eat you if you choose
Map of the great loop
thing else was. The process of buying and fixthe wrong day. Conservatively, we waited and
ing up the boat constantly distracted us from the whole reason we took on the waited until the perfect weather window.
project in the first place.
I was sick to my stomach with nerves the day we crossed. That afternoon,
We poured our time, money and hearts into making our boat a function- Katie caught a big ole tuna, our first catch. Nerves faded to excitement. My
ing home. Over a summer we learned about mechanics, plumbing, electricity, nausea cured by the Black-fin tuna and water so clear you could see China. dedication and how having dirty fingernails could be cool. It was the most
I cried when my eyes caught first sight of the Bohemian land we had worked
frustrating project we had ever gotten ourselves into. I was ready to strangle my so hard to get to. Arriving at the islands was far more magical after a year of
father when he had me sanding bottom paint and eating fiberglass!
preparation and anticipation. Like everyone, we could have hopped on a plane
On September 4th, 2012, Katie, her dog Reggie, and myself took off into to be there in a matter of hours, but instead we traveled 25 miles a day at 5
Lake Michigan aboard our sailboat “Louise.” We motored down a series of riv- miles an hour. I could have jogged faster!
48
May/June '15
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
Katie and jessie feeling patriotic at home, as they travel
through Canada and back into the Great Lakes.
Jessie’s favorite spot in the cockpit.
[Photo by Abbey Moore Photography]
Three months of island hopping became the greatest and scariest days of
our lives. Hurricane season came around the corner about the same time we
were running out of money and ready for a break. What a better place to take
a break from traveling than Key West? We stopped to work once again with
intentions to save just enough to complete “The Loop.”
Finally, we began to move north up the intra-coastal waterway in the spring
of 2013. Every single day we asked each other if we should turn around. But
the idea of arriving in Canada was equally as appealing as the Bahamas had
been, so we continued to move north.
The East Coast completely took us by surprise with its ever changing scenery and culture. Loving America more and more every day, we reached New
York City, confirming that our movement north was in fact the right direction.
Navigating around one of the largest cities in the world via tiny sailboat was
blood pumping—it was incredible.
Shortly after, the rocky shores and thick trees in Canada had us playing like
little kids, even though it was so cold we both looked like we were dressed to
go skiing.
Katie Smith, Jessie Zevalkink and Captain Reggie
camp out on Normans Cay in the Bahamas.
It took us two years to the date to complete “The Loop” crossing our wake
in Northport on Sept. 4, 2014.
I was more than humbled over the course of those two years. Both of us
learned so much more than sailing… than navigating… than weather… than
diesel engines and resource management. I learned to slow down. I learned to
know myself before anything or anyone. I learned the importance of friendship, and the importance of communication. We both learned what we were
capable of.
Now with an entirely new perspective on what we have right here in our
backyard—in the Great Lakes and in America—I am so excited to help reintroduce “The Great Loop” to my generation. America’s Great Loop was the best
thing that ever happened to me.
Jessie Zevalkink grew up in Grand Rapids and spent summers on the lake in Northport.
She is currently living in downtown Traverse City, working on a book and pursuing
photography. To learn more, visit her blog at http://katieandjessieonaboat.com or her
photography site at www.jessietakespictures.com.
chicago
Road Trip
Friday - Sunday, October 2-4, 2015
!
S
e
S
U
B
4
SOLD OUT
Save the Date
June 21st
Brought to you by:
Grand Traverse
WOMAN
at Timber Ridge
Campground
Sister Sponsors:
www.acpaw.org
It’s Going to
be a Blast!
Dog Agility • BBQ • Family Reunion & More
www.grandtraversewoman.com
May/June '15 49
Grand Traverse Woman
Grand Traverse
WOMAN
in business
NEW
The Traverse Area District Library (TADL)
Board of Trustees has appointed Gail
Parsons to serve as director of the district
library system. Parsons has served as the
district library’s interim director since
May 2014. She joined TADL in 2008
as business manager and later served as
assistant director for human resources
and finance. As director Parsons will
oversee district library operations while
working with library trustees to manage
the budget, identifying areas for improvement while guiding the direction of the
library. Parsons earned her undergraduate
degree from Central Michigan University
and her Master’s Degree in Library and
Information Science from Wayne State
University. TADL provides public library
services online and in six facilities with
its main library located at 610 Woodmere
Ave. in Traverse City. www.tadl.org
Liz Lancashire, store manager of Fustini’s,
announces the May opening of Fustini’s
School of Cooking, offering classes for
all cooking enthusiasts with a special
focus on making the most out of oils and
vinegars. Designed by Fustini’s Corporate
Chef, Andy Stewart, the school teaches
everything from the basics to the most
advanced cooking skills. Regularly scheduled classes range from 30 minutes to 2
hours. The School of Cooking is held in
the new kitchen within Fustini’s at 141
E. Front Street in downtown Traverse
City. Visitors can also check out the new
Fustini’s Pantry, offering products including the new line of Fustini’s private-label
tapenades, spreads and jams, as well as
pasta, honeys and salts. 231.944.1145,
OperaAd.qxp_Layout 1 4/14/15 11:52 PM Page 1
liz@fustinis.com
WHEN YOUR
IMAGE IS ONSTAGE,
MAKE SURE THE
DELIVERY IS THE
BEST IT CAN BE!
ALPHA MAIL INC.
PUSHING THE
ENVELOPE SINCE 1999
231.263.4620
email: kathy@alphamailinc.com
Web: www.alphamailinc.com
Alcona
Writers
Retreat
Alcona
Writers
Retreat
June 4 - 7, 2015
231-631-4919
Three prominent Michigan
laurie@bouwmanrealty.com
authors and teachers will
brian@bouwmanrealty.com
lead you on the adventure
of
telling
your
own
stories
3BRM 2 BATH RANCH,
BEAUTIFUL BUILD SITE!
memoirs,
WITH 13through
ACRES AND
BARN poems or
short fiction.
The setting is pure Up
North: a lakeside lodge with
views of the forest, deer
wandering by, a quiet
place perfect for
releasing your inner writer
and making new creative
friends.
The setting is pure Up
North: a lakeside lodge with
views of the forest, deer
wandering by, a quiet
place perfect for
$199,900
$213,000
releasing your inner writer
1239 N Betsie
River Road
Over 168 feet of lake frontage
and making
new creative
on Duck Lake, Interlochen
Interlochen, MI 49643
friends.
InspirationAlcona.org
May/June '15
Beth Chiles has joined
EXIT Realty Paramount
as a Realtor. Chiles has
worked in the real
estate industry for
more than ten years
and was a higher education administrator in Florida for several
years before her move to the Traverse City
area in 2003. Chiles’s goal is exceptional
customer service, and a referral from
a satisfied customer is her greatest reward,
said Holly Hack, broker/owner of EXIT
Realty Paramount. 803 W. Front St. Suite
A, Traverse City, 231.946.4404, TCEXIT.
com
TBA Credit Union has
announced new positions for three of its
staff members. Meghan
Elliott has been selected as the new branch
manager
for
the
Front Street branch.
Holding a Bachelor’s Degree in Liberal
Studies from MacMurray College, Elliott
Three prominent Michigan
authors and teachers will
lead you on the adventure of
telling your own stories
through memoirs, poems or
short fiction.
Learn more or sign up at
50
Kelly Rayment, April
Prince and Teri Miceli
Bowen have joined the
team of Century 21
Northland agents. Born
and raised in Michigan,
Rayment owns vacation rentals in the area
and is a lifelong investor of both residential
and commercial real
estate. Prince has lived
in Traverse City with
her family for 18 years,
where she has contributed to the growth
of three local companies. Bowen grew
up on Old Mission
Peninsula before relocating to Atlanta, Ga.,
following her graduation from Traverse
City St. Francis. After
a 20-year career building a real estate
business in Atlanta, Bowen returned to
Northern Michigan. Rayment is located
at Century 21 Northland’s Traverse City
office. kelly.rayment@c21northland.com,
231.929.7900. Prince and Bowen are
located at Century 21 Northland’s downtown Traverse City office. april.prince@
c21northland.com,
231.633.7072;
terim@c21northland.com, 231.631.8840;
www.c21northland.com
Bouwman Realty Group
June 4 - 7, 2015
ALPHA MAIL INC
Events North has promoted Rachel Jarosz
to senior meeting
and event manager.
Jarosz manages corporate client meetings
and events throughout Michigan. Events
North is a full-service meeting- and eventmanagement agency. 231.883.2708, www.
EventsNorth.com
Learn
more
or sign
up atshowing!
Call for
your
private
InspirationAlcona.org
www.bouwmanrealty.com
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
previously served as
member service officer
for TBA Credit Union.
She joined the credit
union in 2012 and has
over 12 years of experience in the banking
industry in the areas
of marketing, lending, compliance and
supervision. Elliott will
oversee daily branch
operations and staff,
assist with strategic
planning and review
loan requests. Mae
Bradford was promoted to the role of
member service specialist at the South
Airport branch. Previously serving as a
member service representative since 2014,
Bradford will be responsible for opening
business and personal accounts, preparing loan documents and evaluating loan
requests. She has an Associate’s Degree
in Applied Sciences from NMC. Stacy
Oster will transition from the position
of member service representative at the
South Airport branch to phone operator at the Front Street branch. Oster has
been with the credit union since 2013
and previously worked as a retail assistant manager. In her new role, Oster will
handle incoming phone calls and assist
with other accounting department tasks.
231.946.7090, tbacu.com
Traverse Traveler, a 14-year-old marketing
service, has merged into Visitors Media,
creator of ExploreTC and publisher of the
Traverse City Dining Guide. This merger
unites two media companies with a shared
mission: to provide hotel guests with
entertaining and educational information about the best restaurants, wineries,
breweries and attractions in Northwest
Michigan. After suffering a layoff in the
wake of 9/11, Brandy Wheeler launched
a marketing service to promote local
restaurants and attractions utilizing card
displays in hotels throughout the region.
“After 13 years on my own, I knew the
next step to grow Traverse Traveler was to
expand. I began working with SCORE to
evaluate my options, when I discovered
ExploreTC, it didn’t take long to realize
our products compliment one another,”
said Wheeler. Visitors Media began providing digital video solutions for retail and
hotel customers in 2011. In 2013, relationships in the hospitality industry led
to the development of ExploreTC, a local
travel channel broadcast in over 2,480
hotel rooms. Visitors Media purchased
Traverse City Dining Guide and published
their first issue in 2014. With the addition
of Traverse Traveler they rounded out a
portfolio to offer marketing solutions inroom, in lobby and in hand in 86 percent
of the hotel rooms within the Traverse
City Tourism district. Wheeler has joined
Visitors Media, LLC as a partner and its
Creative Director. 805 W. Front St., Suite
C, Traverse City
PRSRT STD
U.S. Postage
PAID
Alpha Mail
49684
Grand Traverse
WOMAN
northern michigan’s network for women ◆
Bonny Hall has joined
Monarch Home Health
Services as vice president of operations. Hall
relocated to Traverse
City from the Detroit
area in 1998. Prior to
moving to Traverse
City she served in the United States Air
Force. Before coming to Monarch she was
office manager in a local downtown retail
store. She will oversee business management, staffing and daily operations.
697 Hannah Ave.. Suite D, Traverse City.
w w w. m o n a r c h h o m e h e a l t h . c o m ,
231.932.0708
Heidi M. Hodek is a
partner in the newly
opened Ranieri Hanley
& Hodek, PLC, law
firm at 4020 Copper
View, Suite 225, in the
Copper Ridge professional development.
The firm is a full-service law firm with
experience in health care, personal injury,
litigation and appeals, and business law.
including nursing home and day care negligence, criminal, and family law. Hodek
previously was personal injury attorney at
Dingeman & Dancer, PLC. www.rhhlawtc.
com
Floor Covering Brokers has unveiled its
second Northern Michigan location on
US31 North in Acme. The retail store will
THE
KUDOS
Over half of the agents of RE/MAX
Bayshore Properties’ offices received sales
and service awards at the RE/MAX of
Michigan Annual Conference and Awards
Gala held in February. Maureen Penfold
ranked third in the Top 5 Individuals in
Commissions Paid and was the top female
agent. She also was recognized as a 2014
member of the Chairman’s Club, the highest award for annual sales performance,
and received the Silver Service Award for
25 years of service with RE/MAX. Marsha
Minervini was admitted to the Platinum
Club for outstanding sales performance
in 2014. Lisa Rossi and Sandy Gunning
became members of the 100 Percent Club
for their 2014 sales performance. RE/
MAX Bayshore Properties serves Benzie,
Grand Traverse, Leelanau and Kalkaska
counties from four offices. 231.941.4500,
www.remaxbayshore.com
JULY/AUG ISSUE
EDUCATION
RECREATION
&
JULY/AUGUST '15
ISSUE
Free
act as a showroom, flooring design center,
and a venue for homeowners, architects
and builders to work with Floor Covering
Brokers employees on selection, measuring and installation of quality flooring.
Floor Covering Brokers is the largest,
privately owned floor-covering retailer in
Northern Michigan. They specialize in the
design and installation of all types of flooring including: carpet, tile, hardwood, laminate, area rugs and window blinds. 1794
Barlow St., Traverse City, 231.941.4700,
www.floorcoveringbrokers.com
N
EDUCATIOssu
I e
ON
NEWSSTANDS
IN TIME FOR
CHERRY
FESTIVAL!
Topics include:
• When Mom graduates and more
• Road trips, 5ks, Weekend Warriors
& Sports Health
Grand Traverse Attention Advertisers: Ad deadline is June 15th
WOMAN
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Email Kerry today! kerry@grandtraversewoman.com 231-276-5105
May/June '15 51
Grand Traverse Woman
Cindy Lardie was
named TBA Credit
Union’s 2014 Employee
of the Year. Candidates
for the Employee of the
Year Award are nominated by peers and
chosen based on team
cooperation, attitude, community involvement and leadership. Lardie serves the
credit union as the marketing and education coordinator. Her peers describe her
as enthusiastic, supportive, a joy to be
around and passionate about the mission
of TBACU and the Student-Run Credit
Union Program. She will celebrate her
five-year anniversary with TBACU this
year. 231.946.7090, tbacu.com
Mary Lannin, owner
of
Personal
Best
Personal Training, is
celebrating her 10th
anniversary as a fitness
consultant in Traverse
City. Her private studio is located on West
Grand Traverse Bay in the CenterPointe
Building. She is newly certified through
the National Council for Certified Personal
Trainers and is also certified for personal
training, sports performance nutrition,
and lifestyle fitness coaching through
the ISSA. 231.883.2286, personalbestbymarylannin.com Sharon Smith is celebrating her 15-year
anniversary
with
Digestive
Health
Associates of Northern
Michigan (DHA). At
DHA, she is responsible for many administrative duties, including patient “chart
prep” and pre- and post- visit organization
of medical records. She has also assisted in
the transition into the world of electronic
medical records.
Digestive Health Associates of Northern
Michigan (DHA) also recognizes two
employees who are retiring. Joyce Wright
is retiring after 23 years of service. “Joyce
has always excelled in her ability to make
our patients feel welcome and comfortable in a setting where many times people are nervous and anxious,” said Gail
Eminhizer, practice administrator. DHA
also recognizes Greta Sheffer's 22 years
of service and care as a registered nurse
with the practice, most recently as a nurse
triage team member serving as patient
coordinator and advocate. Prior to joining
the DHA team, she worked in alcohol and
drug rehabilitation, family practice and
for the Michigan Department of Public
Health. DHA is dedicated to the diagnosis,
treatment and prevention of diseases of
the digestive tract. 231.935.5710, www.
dha-nm.com
EVENTS
Grand Traverse Ophthalmology Clinic
will host its annual Spring Trunk Show
on Thursday, May 7, from 1-7 p.m. There
will be a large selection of fashionable
frames from top designers like, Lucky
Brand, Converse, Michael Ryen, MODO,
Scott Harris, Jones of New York and
Prodesign. Discounts of 20 percent or
more are offered on complete pairs of
glasses ordered during the always-popular
event. Refreshments will also be served. A
percentage of proceeds from the sale will
benefit Traverse Health Clinic, Northwest
Michigan Community Action Agency
and TART Traverse Area Recreation Trail.
GTOC will also be accepting donations of
non-perishable food items for the Father
Fred Foundation during the trunk show.
Grand Traverse Ophthalmology Clinic,
929 Business Park Drive, Traverse City.
231.947.6246, www.gtoc.net
Big Brothers Big Sisters (BIGS) Annual
Bowl For Kids’ Sake is the BIGS’ most
important fundraiser of the year, providing 30 percent of the organization’s
annual revenue. All proceeds benefit current mentoring matches and the kids
waiting for a Big Brother or Big Sister.
Teams consisting of four members are
asked to collect a minimum of $125
in donations. BIGS recognizes FOX
Motors and Bill Marsh Automotive as the
Kingpin Sponsors and the following VIP
Business Sponsors: Cherryland Electric
Cooperative, Chemical Bank, Midwestern
Broadcasting and Incredible Mo’s.
BIGS is the longest-serving youth-mentoring organization in the region, serving
children in the five-county area. Its mission is to provide children facing adversity
with strong and enduring, professionally
supported, one-to-one relationships that
change their lives for the better. If you
can’t participate in Bowl for Kids’ Sake,
just text “Big” to 88588 and make a donation to help BIGS reach its fundraising
goal of $100,000. www.bigsupnorth.com
The Friends of Michigan Midwives is
sponsoring a fundraiser concert and silent
auction on Mothers’ Day, May 11, in support of Michigan Licensure for Certified
Professional Midwives. A concert will feature music from Miriam Pico, E Minor
Trevor Hobbs and Seth Bernard. The
event will be held at The Circuit, 225 W.
14th St. in Traverse City. Enjoy Short's
Beer and Northern Natural wine tastings,
Northwoods sodas and snacks! Doors
open at 4 p.m. and the concert is 5 to 7
p.m. Admittance is $15/person or $40/
family at the door.
Early registration is now open for the 2nd
Annual Vineyard to Bay 25k, 15k/10k
relay and 5k run/walk set for Sunday, Aug.
23. Proceeds from all races benefit Suttons
Bay Public Schools and TART Trails. The
entry fee is $45 for the 25k, $65 for the
two-person 15k/10k relay and $28 for the
5k until June 1. All races are point-topoint and encompass both the Leelanau
Trail and Wine Trail of Leelanau County
before ending in Suttons Bay. Cash prizes
totaling $1,000, age group awards, and
all-finishers awards will be given. www.
vineyard2bay25k.com
McLain Cycle and impres Salon Spa welcome you to join them on Sunday, May
31, for the 2nd annual 2015 Women’s
Ride. The theme is #DontSweat #Sparkle!
The event begins at impres Salon Spa at 1
p.m. with registration, snacks, Specialized
women’s bikes to demo and guest speakers. The ride will then go up the TART
Trail toward Suttons Bay. The group will
be spread out between beginners, intermediate and advanced. ALL abilities welcomed and encouraged. There will be
a 10- and 20-mile route. The theme is
#DontSweatSparkle! Last year 65 women
attended and this year the goal is to
double attendance. Bring a friend! The
ride ends at the Filling Station at the
Depot where there will be a Specialized
Lounge to welcome riders along with
drink and pizza specials and giveaways
including a Specialized Vita bicycle! This
event is sponsored by Specialized, McLain
Cycle, impres Salon Spa, The Filling
Station Microbrewery, Grand Traverse
Woman Magazine and Women’s Resource
Center. Call McLain Cycle to reserve your
spot for the ride at 231.941.7161 or
231.941.8855. Demo bikes are available
upon request. The event is free. Donations
for the Women’s Resource Center are
appreciated at registration.
Hello Spring!
come see what’s blooming
OPENING DAY MAY 1
• Kid’s Club
• Hanging Baskets
• Native Plants
• Veggies and Herbs
• Recycling • Workshops
• Custom Containers
• Perennials • Annuals
• Patio Pots
BREEZE HILL
GREENHOUSE
BREEZE
GREENHOUSE
7230 HILL
HARRY’S ROAD,
TC 49684
7230 HARRY’S
ROAD, TC 49684
231-941-7295
• breezehillgreenhouse.com
find us
on FACEBOOK
231-941-7295
• breezehillgreenhouse.com
find us on FACEBOOK
52
May/June '15
Comprehensive Dental Care for the Whole Family
8 7 6 E . F r o n t S t r e e t | Tr a v e r s e C i t y, M I 4 9 6 8 6
231.947.6880 | www.RoseStreetDental.com
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
Grand Traverse
Network Nite
WOMAN
It 's Purse Night ...
WEDNESDAY, MAY 13 • 5-7 PM
... and the
Jane Reveal !
See
Jane
Lose
at Credit
Union ONE
TICKETS
$15 or 2 FOR $20
See
Jane
Lose
MAKEOVER
Get Ready for Summer!
Let me help you buy a house near the beautiful new YMCA!
Call LOU ANNE for help with all the details.
(14 years of experience & many happy clients)
Lou Anne Ford
Associate Broker
231-645-3643
louannef@gmail.com
241 E. State Street, Traverse City
Let’s all do The Barbecue!
Sunday, May 17, 11am-5pm
NOR THWESTERN MICHIGAN COLLEGE
Tickets: $6 advance, $8 day-of
nmc.edu/bbq
Th is
Gallagher
burger is
the best!
Our
Daddy raises
the best beef
and pork
around!
GALLAGHER FARMS
K N O W Y O U R FA R M E R • K N O W Y O U R F O O D • B U Y L O C A L
We h ave
th e bes t
brats
around !
NO
GMO
NO GROWTH HORMONES, ANTIBIOTICS, MSG OR NITRATES
Come to us for Black Angus beef, born and raised on our farm, as well
as homegrown pork. Individually packaged or in quarters and halves.
Fruits and Vegetables in season.
Available at Trattoria Stella, and many local Farm Markets.
C SA
Available
Hours: Mon-Fri 12-6, Sat 10-2
Joanne 231-218-0771 or Katie 231-642-7361 • Farm Market 231-421-5199
5904 N. Long Lake Road (3 Miles from T.C., just past T.C. West)
www.grandtraversewoman.com
May/June '15 53
momma 1210
Grand Traverse Woman
By Kandace chapple
www.kandacechapple.com
Cookie’s secret life
Cookie is living a secret life. She disappears
for hours at a time and has no explanation for herself.
Finally, it came out. I saw her picture on Facebook.
She was on a back deck that wasn’t ours, enjoying a
drink with a man who wasn’t Tim, outside a house
that wasn’t hers.
“What is thisssss?” I asked her, showing her the
photo. She said nothing.
We knew she liked to visit the neighbors, but this
was going too far. Now she was posing for other families’ Facebook photos? She’s refused every selfie I’ve
tried with her.
It started last summer. She would disappear for a
few minutes and, just when I decide to panic, here
she’d come loping down our long driveway. We live
on 12 acres, behind other houses, secluded from the
road. So I usually didn’t worry. Wherever she had been
was somewhere between the trampoline and a field of
crabgrass.
Things escalated by fall. She would roar out the
back door each morning as if on a mission. We have a
community dog trail in the woods. It’s a combination
of our property and the next and has turned into a
nice little free-for-all for the dogs.
This means that on occasion I’ll be out back in my
rattiest fat pants, Tim’s sweatshirt with paint dried on
the sleeve and wearing a pair of the kids’ sunglasses,
when one of the neighbors will appear on my property.
“Greetings, Cookie,” he will say.
“Hello, Savannah,” I will reply.
We always choose to talk through the dogs. Much
safer than admitting my state of dress. Roger, unforgivably, always looks dapper.
Next, I got a call from Barb, a neighbor up front.
“Kandy, do you realize Cookie has been here all
day?”
“All day?” I say, stalling. Oh dear. It was time to pick
the kids up from school, and I had last seen Cookie
barreling out the back door to see if anyone was out
walking at 8 a.m. To my credit, I had been so busy that
I was still dressed in last night’s sleeping attire/outback
hiking outfit.
“Well?” she asked. I cringed. What would she say
next? “Can Cookie stay for dinner?” (Note, I’ve never
had dinner with them.) Before I said yes, I knew Barb
was peeling open a can of soft food. I stared at the dayold dry food in Cookie’s bowl and hung up.
Next, a chance meeting at the grocery store. This
time it was Mary.
“I just love that Cookie!” she said, as we walked
side by side out to the parking lot. “I haven’t seen her
in a week; is she OK?” We’d been gone to Gulf Shores
on vacation. She hadn’t noticed our entire family was
also missing.
That’s when Mary saw Cookie in the car. “Oh my
Lord, you have her right here! Cookie!” she squealed.
trouble (in the) hood 1409
cookie at home for once.
I had to unlock the back not to put the groceries in,
but to allow Mary and Cookie a reunion.
“Now, hold on,” she said. She produced a dog biscuit from her purse. “Here you go!”
It was bigger than any dog biscuit I’d ever seen,
approximately the length, depth and weight of a
grown woman’s purse.
“See you back at home, Mary!” I called, waiting her
out so I could go back into Tom’s and buy gigantic
dog biscuits and soft food. It was becoming apparent
I would have to woo my own dog.
And the last straw: Char’s Facebook photo of
Cookie lounging on their back deck.
“Is this dog ever home?” I asked Tim. It was like
having a teenager with a (dog) license.
“At least she’s in good hands,” he replied.
It was true. Cookie was living the high life. Taking
handouts and entire meals and epic dog biscuits at not
one, but five houses in all. That we know of.
But if I see one of the neighbors set up a fan page
for her on Facebook, I’m drawing the line.
By Kerry winkler
Hermit Crab, Take 2
We were in Alabama
for spring break with
Brook begging to get another pet hermit crab. Her current crabs had not proven too difficult and, in fact, I
often forgot we even had them. So I said, yes, not knowing what trouble was about to begin.
My dad helped Brook pick out the biggest, liveliest
crab they could find at the tourist store. It had tarantulalooking legs and a dog’s personality—it was not afraid of
people or places, and could climb anything.
We named him “O.B.” after the town we were in
(Orange Beach). The travel cage we had brought from
home was much too small for the big attitude of O.B.,
so Grandpa decided Brook should make a new cage–out
of an old box, a garbage bag and beach sand with some
seashells. After a little finessing, we had a “crabitat.”
I looked at it, dubiously. There was no way that crab
would stay in there – yes, the sides were tall, but there
was no top. My engineer dad scoffed at my strong belief
in O.B.’s climbing prowess. Add in that Brook liked the
unlimited access of reaching in and playing with it without having to mess with a security system, my concerns
were dismissed. They both assured me it was “fine.”
So the box was tucked next to Brook for the night on
54
May/June '15
the sofa sleeper and I jokingly said, “Sleep lightly! O.B.
might escape.”
I was unwittingly prescient: the next morning, O.B.
was gone. After some not-so-subtle “I told you so’s,” the
ransacking began. We had nine people tearing the living
room apart. Then the kitchen. Then the bathroom. Then
the bedrooms.
Side note: Rentals are not always clean: never do that
close of an inspection if you don’t have to. Ever.
For four days, we scoured that condo. We set out
food in hopes of catching the crab eating. We spent each
night with shallow breaths in hopes of hearing the nocturnal bugger scurry across the floor. We gingerly sat in
chairs for fear of hearing a crunch. We secretly watched
from the toilet seat, sure that water would draw him in.
But no hermit crab appeared. We started to imagine the
worst: a $6 crab was going to cost us $250 deposit. A
lost crab plus 80 degree heat = not good.
We were in a quandary of what to do, at the point of
giving up. We figured there was no reason to discuss it
publicly in front of staff until we had a solid escape plan.
But, while enjoying a poolside drink, we overheard the
kids tell a very large security guard about the lost crab…
Happy Brook on ride home!
from our desperate search to the “giving up” part to ending with our condo’s exact location. We sunk lower in
our chairs and tipped our drinks back a little farther…
then slunk upstairs to look again.
Finally on day six, we really did call it quits. Grandpa
decided to ease the pain by getting Brook another crab.
But this time they used a tote with a lid. Lesson learned.
And on day seven, we packed and made half-hearted
jokes about O.B., the escape artist. We made several
trips loading up the families in the cars, sad to be leaving a family member behind. Then it happened. As I did
one last, lonely walk through the empty condo, there, in
the middle of the living room, was a very healthy hermit
crab moving along the floor! I squealed and captured
him. We rejoiced, we sputtered, we crafted tall tales of
what O.B. had been up to for seven days… and you can
for sure bet that we clamped down the cage lid tightly
for the long ride home.
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May/June '15 55
Grand Traverse Woman
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