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t
ISSUE
210
|
MAY
2011
|
WWW.IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM
!
MUM’S THE WORD
THE PAINS OF A STUDENT PARENT
IMPACT
INTERVIEWS
JACQUI SMITH AND KENNETH CLARKE
ON THE
PROWL
A GUIDE TO GET GAME
EDITORIAL
It would be incredibly remiss of me not
to start by thanking the thousands of you
who took part in the Student Media Survey
V]LY [OL ,HZ[LY OVSPKH`Z 0[ ^HZ V\Y ÄYZ[
real attempt at any kind of audit for quite
ZVTL[PTLHUK0JHUVMÄJPHSS`HUUV\UJL
absolutely nothing. At the time of going to
print I haven’t seen any of the data, but I’m
sure something will be announced on our
website soon enough.
In the meantime, though, now seems a
particularly good time to make note of the
successes we have enjoyed in recent months. Our coverage
VM [OL :< ,SLJ[PVUZ OHZ HSS I\[ ÄUPZOLK UV^ I\[ P[ ^HZ X\P[L
the ride while it happened. I particularly liked the way our news
team would throw out an issue for discussion and get a debate
going in our comments section on the website - news reporting
PZHZT\JOHIV\[SPNO[PUNÄYLZHZP[PZHIV\[ÄSSPUNWHPSZ
While on that topic, we are blazing a trail through Varsity,
covering the events with liveblogs, articles and stats, and the
‘Twimpact’ twitter feed on our website seems to have been
hijacked by our sports editors - so be sure to check that out
when you get a chance.
Impact has once again been recognised nationally, with a recent
article on March’s lecturer strikes described by a top national
press commentator as “fabulous” and also being referenced
heavily in an issue of the Times Higher Education magazine.
Style and Music have both run successful surveys recently, with
Music’s results in the last issue and Style’s ‘Male Grooming’
survey featuring in this issue.
>LOH]LJYLH[LKHMVVKZLJ[PVUÔPJO`V\JHUÄUK^P[OPU[OL
pages of this very issue. We haven’t got any editors for it yet,
but if you are interested in writing on anything to do with food
please contact me at food@impactnottingham.com. Impact ‘s
website has also gone mobile, so check out our website on
your smartphone of choice.
All that, and more, with our other sections still writing like their
lives depend on it. A few Impact members recently took part
in the ‘Marrowthon’, a 5/10km run for the Anthony Nolan Trust
– I know of Phil Bowyer who was doubtless streets ahead at
the front, and Steve Lovejoy who was in a banana suit yet still
managed to do the 10k in a blistering time. A special mention
for Rosie Kynman, too, who has mobilised her music section to
raise some money for Japanese aid efforts.
Writing these editorials always seems so unfair, because if
`V\ÅPW[V[OLIHJRVM[OLTHNHaPULNVVU0»SS^HP[`V\»SSZLL
Q\Z[ V]LY [OPY[` LKP[VYZ ÔV 0 OH]LU»[ TLU[PVULK H[ HSS :\MÄJL
it to say that I am continually astounded by all of their efforts,
along with the efforts of our contributors who turn up week-in,
week-out. To produce not only a top-level monthly magazine
but also an active companion website, the level of work for our
members – in a magazine in which nobody studies journalism
and all are volunteers – is phenomenal, yet they deliver, time
and time again.
However our survey results turn out, I’m incredibly proud of
what has been done this year, and you should be too.
Dave Jackson
,KP[VYPU*OPLM+L-HJ[V-VVK,KP[VY
WE WROTE.
YOU RESPONDED.
‘ANON’ ON
NOTTINGHAM UNIVERSITY
ANNOUNCES £9,000 TUITION FEES
*HU0Q\Z[KPZWLS[OLT`[O[OH[(Y[ZHUK/\THUP[PLZZ\IZPKPZL
Science and Engineering? Tuition fees are only part of a
university’s income. Science and Engineering research
contributes hundreds of millions of pounds to the university
coffers, more than making up for the extra contact hours...The
reason we’re in this tuition fees mess is that no government
has the balls to admit that sending 50% of young people to
university for the sake of it was a stupid idea and is a huge
waste of money, both for the government and the students
themselves. Tuition fees shouldn’t have gone up, student
numbers should have been slashed and fees reduced, if
anything.
‘JOE’ ON
UNIVERSITY ANNOUNCES LENTON
HOPPER BUS SERVICE
I hardly think this is a sustainable move on the University’s
WHY[ ^P[O NSVIHS ^HYTPUN HUK [OL MVYLJHZ[LK ÅVVKPUN VM [OL
*HTW\Z3V^LY3LU[VU,YHQ\Z[HYV\UK[OLJVYULY7LYOHWZP[
^V\SKIL^PZLY[VPU]LZ[PUHÅV[PSSHVMZLHJYHM[HUKZ^PTTPUN
lessons to get future students to Lenton. Although I also
understand that as a settlement built on a notorious breeding
ground for young sharks, us Nottinghammeroonians are
perhaps doomed anyway.
‘ELIZABETH GODDARD’ ON
TREMENDOUS TIFFIN ON A BUDGET
0[PZLU[PYLS`WVZZPISL[VTHYJO(5+LUQV`JHRL
02
ISSUE 210 | MAY 2011
CONTENTS- May/2011
210
02
Editorial
05
News
Fees, Cuts and Charlie Sheen
12
Sport
Support for Athletes - Better across the pond?
FEATURES
15
11
Student Mums
The pains of a student parent
18
iDosing
The latest craze or a load of white noise?
19
Gender Undivided
The changing face of gender
20
In Pursuit Of Perfection
We weigh the risks of bodily obsession
22
Age of Revolution
The power of the protest
24
The Hunting Guide
A uide to get game
26
Past and Present
Impact interviews two cabinet ministers
27
Taken for a Ride
The dangers facing Nottingham’s taxi drivers
28
Home Straight
Growing up early or not at all?
29
No Marks for Manners
The student slip to slobbiness
30
Exam Stress
How do you get by?
31
15
35
Wave Your Rave and
Vent Your Spleen
REGULARS
32
Students’ Union
34
Exposure
35
Style
40
Film
43
Music
47
Travel
51
Arts & Culture
54
Food
56
Science
60
Nights
63
Spare Parts
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM
03
Mac. The perfect
study partner.
We’ve got together with Apple to offer you a special
discount of up to 15% on Mac hardware
Mac is perfect for student life
With the Mac you can share your ideas in new and creative ways. It comes with
great software, like iLife, so you can do more with your photos, movies and music. It
also runs Microsoft Office and it’s compatible with your printers and cameras. You
can even run Windows.
A dedicated online store
The Apple on Campus online store, designed especially for the University of
Nottingham students, is secure and easy to use. There you’ll find a wide range of
heavily discounted hardware, software and accessories. Ensure you are on the
University network, then visit www.apple.com/uk/go/save. You can also order over
the phone by calling a Mac expert on 0800 072 1154.
Help is at hand
If you need help or advice, there is an Apple Campus Rep on site. They have the
latest Apple products for you to try and can answer any questions you might have.
For more information contact Will Burks on:
- aoc.nottingham@me.com.
04
NEWS
WHERE’S MY MONEY?
UNIVERSITIES TO FACE FINES FOR CHARGING £9,000 TUITION FEES
The Coalition is currently debating
[OL WVZZPIPSP[` VM PTWVZPUN ÄULZ \WVU
universities deemed to be charging
“unreasonably high” tuition fees from
next year. Nick Clegg has expressed
concern at the possibility that some
universities may charge the maximum
rate in order to improve their prestige,
whilst Vince Cable worries that too
many will charge £9,000 to subsidise
revenue lost as a result of the new
cap on international students. The
emergence of this proposal in itself
raises an important question: on what
grounds will universities justify the introduction of the maximum £9,000 fee?
Ministers have said that the maximum fee
should only be charged in ‘exceptional
JPYJ\TZ[HUJLZ» I\[ UV JSLHY KLÄUP[PVU
of this term has been provided. Russell
Group universities such as Oxford and
*HTIYPKNL TH` HYN\L [OH[ [OLPY WYLZtige demands high fees, or that the high
quality of facilities and teaching that they
provide demonstrate exceptional circumstances. However, Exeter recently
ILJHTL[OLÄYZ[UVU9\ZZLSS.YV\W<UPversity to announce its plans to charge
the maximum fee, justifying its decision
by claiming that it would need to charge
a fee of at least £7,000 simply to maintain current teaching standards, and that
the provision of more staff and better facilities to meet the growing demands and
expectations of new students demands
the imposition of higher fees.
;OL<UP]LYZP[`HUK*VSSLNL<UPVU<*<
has echoed Exeter’s claims, suggesting that high fees are needed to replace
money that the government has cut from
university funding. The Union argues that
for Arts and Humanities courses, which
are cheaper to run than science and medicine courses, universities need to charge
an average fee of almost £7,000. They
have also suggested that all universities
will set fees above the £6,000 minimum,
as they must do so simply to break even.
@L[[OL<*<OHZHSZVH[[HJRLK[OLNV]ernment for creating this situation, describing its plans as ‘shambolic’, and supporting a letter signed by 681 Oxbridge
academics criticising the coalition’s new
funding regime. The letter, addressed to
Minister of State for Universities and SciLUJL +H]PK >PSSL[[Z HYN\LZ [OH[ \UP]LYZP[PLZ HYL ILPUN MVYJLK [V ºÅ` ISPUK» HUK
urges the government to delay their plans
until the consequences of the proposed
changes have been ‘coherently and rigorously examined’.
The government has been further criticised for creating an unrealistic budget.
Plans to fund student loans have been
based on a national average fee of
£7,500. Therefore, if too many universi-
ties charge the maximum fee, funding for
loans may quickly be exhausted, and it
TH` IL KPMÄJ\S[ [V Z\IZPKPZL HU` KLÄJP[
from elsewhere.
Worryingly, Ministers will have no legal
power to set the fee that an individual
university can charge. However, Vice
*OHUJLSSVYZOH]LILLU^HYULK[OH[Z[\dent places and research funding could
be cut if they charge £9,000 without adLX\H[LQ\Z[PÄJH[PVU<UP]LYZP[PLZJOHYNPUN
over £6,000 must also ensure that they
attract a wider variety of students, particularly with regard to ethnic minorities,
pupils from state schools and those from
non-university upbringings.
Universities must now account for reduced revenues from international students, reduced government funding, increased demands for access widening
initiatives and a need to attract students
in an increasingly competitive market.
(JJVYKPUNS`[OL<*<Z\NNLZ[Z[OLNV]ernment’s predicted ‘average’ fee is in
fact closer to the minimum that universities must charge. Perhaps, then, it is
time the government provides its own
HKLX\H[LL_WSHUH[PVUHUKQ\Z[PÄJH[PVUVM
what actually constitutes ‘unreasonably
high tuition fees’.
Alan Selby
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM/NEWS
05
NEWS
NOTTINGHAM CITY COUNCIL
AGREES £33.6M IN BUDGET CUTS
Nottingham City Council this week
ÄUHSPZLK P[Z WHJRHNL VM I\KNL[
cuts, as all three parties on the
Labour-led council agreed a deal
to reduce spending by £33.6m, in
response to a £29.5m decrease in
central government funding. Council
members have suggested that in
real terms this amounts to a £60m
decrease in spending power, when
the effects of last June’s emergency
budget and other related austerity
measures are taken into account.
Around 370 council jobs will be lost,
creating £11m worth of savings. An
additional £6m of savings are to be made
through a proposed review of staff terms
and conditions.
06
-VSSV^PUN H W\ISPJ JVUZ\S[H[PVU [OL
council has agreed to safeguard
community protection posts, street
cleaning services and children’s centres.
*VTT\UP[`HK]PJLI\YLH\ZHUKZLY]PJLZ
for the elderly are amongst those who
^PSSZ\MMLYTVZ[¶M\UKPUNMVY*()ZPZ[V
be cut by 59%, whilst local charitable
organisations such as Age UK face
a 30% reduction in grant funding.
Representatives from the voluntary
sector have suggested that their funding
could fall by 38% as a result of the cuts,
from £47.5m to £29.5m.
The 8.4% decrease in funding means
Nottingham will be amongst the councils
hardest hit by the measures. Under the
NOT T INGHAM
TRIPLES TUITION
FEES
UCU STRIKERS ‘MAY
NOT HAVE BEEN
MISSED’
Nottingham has joined other Russell
Group Universities, including Oxford,
*HTIYPKNL HUK <*3 PU HUUV\UJPUN
TH_PT\T MLLZ *\YYLU[ Z[\KLU[Z HUK
those joining the University this year will
be unaffected by the change, but full-time
undergraduate students starting from
2012 will pay £9,000 each year for their
degree. The new fee levels are subject to
HNYLLTLU[I`[OL6MÄJLMVY-HPY(JJLZZ
ÔV^PSSJVUÄYTPU1\S`PM[OL`HWWYV]LVM
the changes.
In an email leaked to Impact, Mike Byrne,
Secretary of the University of Nottingham
<UP]LYZP[` HUK *VSSLNL <UPVU \YNLK
colleagues who took part in the strikes
over job security, pay and pensions to
register their absence with the Human
9LZV\YJLZ+LWHY[TLU[¸0UV\YZLJ[VY[OL
point of a one-day strike is largely missed
if institutions do not get a clear indication
from everyone who participated”, he said,
adding, “The fact is that in many cases
our absence may not have been noticed!”
ISSUE 210| MAY 2011
coalition’s plans the maximum reduction
imposed on councils will be 8.9%, with a
nationwide average of 4.4%.
3HIV\Y *VUZLY]H[P]L HUK 3PILYHS
+LTVJYH[ JV\UJPS SLHKLYZ OH]L HYN\LK
that Nottingham is being treated unfairly
in the cuts, with council leader Jon
*VSSPUZ Z\NNLZ[PUN [OH[ [OL WVVYLZ[
cities are those being affected most.
3HIV\Y 47 *OYPZ 3LZSPL JSHPTZ [OH[ [OL
cuts are “going too fast and too hard”,
with damaging implications for the local
economy. The full impact of the cuts
remains to be seen, but a clearer picture
is sure to emerge over the following year.
Alan Selby
NAT IONAL UNION
OF STUDENTS
LOOKS TO
SCOTLAND FOR
NEW PRESIDENT
The National Union of Students has
elected current NUS Scotland President
Liam Burns as its new President for the
year 2011-12. Burns has been credited
for decisive action in securing promises
from the Scottish Parliament that tuition
fees north of the border will not be raised
in the near future. It is hoped that Burns
^PSSÄUKTVYLZ\JJLZZPU[OLÄNO[HNHPUZ[
the rise of English tuition fees than his
predecessor Aaron Porter, who decided
against standing for re-election after
facing criticism over not taking a strong
enough stance against the tripling of
University fees.
NEWS
STUDENT VISA CUTS COULD FORCE
UNIVERSITY COURSE CLOSURE
Several universities have warned that they may be forced to
close science and engineering courses if the government
limits visas for foreign students. Sixteen university vicechancellors from universities including Bristol, Exeter,
Birmingham and Glasgow have written a joint letter to The
Observer expressing their ‘profound concern’ over the
plans.
They want Home Secretary Theresa May to drop a proposal
to restrict visas and raise the English language requirement
therefore making it harder for people to come to the UK. May’s
proposals would affect non-EU students applying for visas who
currently make up two-thirds of the 273,000 visas issued to
students in 2009.
year to the UK economy through tuition fees and off-campus
L_WLUKP[\YL»HUK[OH[K\YPUNºH[PTLVMÄUHUJPHSH\Z[LYP[`[OPZ
issue is of immeasurable importance to the UK’, as reductions
in the numbers of students ‘will lead to reductions in income
and jobs’.
Without international students many university courses,
particularly science and engineering courses, may be forced to
close. This would mean a reduction in the courses available to
<2Z[\KLU[ZHUKYLK\UKHUJPLZ(/VTL6MÄJLZWVRLZ^VTHU
said: “Any criticism can only be based on speculation as no
decisions have yet been made on the changes to the student
visa route.”
Helen Trimm
In their letter the vice-chancellors stated that ‘International
students coming to universities contribute over £5bn each
PROPOSED OVERHAUL TO
FURTHER EDUCATION
NEW GOVERNMENT REPORT PROPOSES OVERHAUL TO 16-19 YEAR OLD EDUCATION
Over 90% of sixteen-year olds
continue education or go onto formal
training after GCSEs, though students
are increasingly favouring vocational
courses over traditional A levels,
a move seen as less desirable for
employers.
A recent report, commissioned by the
Education Secretary Michael Gove and
compiled by Prof. Alison Wolf of Kings
*VSSLNL3VUKVUOPNOSPNO[LK[OLJ\YYLU[
problems with technical education.
A huge reduction of the youth labour
market, and businesses now seeking
cheaper production elsewhere, has left
sections of society that have chosen to
pursue a technical career with nowhere
to go. The report also focused on the
KPMÄJ\S[PLZ VM OH]PUN Z\JO HU HYYH`
of different names and acronyms to
KLZJYPIL[LJOUPJHSX\HSPÄJH[PVUZ
KV SP[[SL [V OLSW Z[\KLU[Z +PZPUJSPULK [V
continue further education, currently
300,000 to 400,000 of 16-19 year olds
HYL UV^ Z[Y\NNSPUN [V ÄUK LTWSV`TLU[
as a result of perceived low value
X\HSPÄJH[PVUZ
The Wolf report recommended that good
coordination between schools, colleges
and industry would quickly highlight
weaknesses in an individual’s education
WYVNYHTTL HUK OLSW [V ÄUK ZVS\[PVUZ
[V THRL X\HSPÄJH[PVUZ TVYL YLSL]HU[ [V
employers.
*YP[PJZHYLX\PJR[VWVPU[V\[[OH[NP]LU
the shortfalls in funding nationwide
and the increased cost of training an
HWWYLU[PJL P[ ^PSS WYV]L KPMÄJ\S[ [V VMMLY
Z\MÄJPLU[ PUJLU[P]LZ MVY JVTWHUPLZ [V
get involved. Quality apprenticeships
HYL ÄLYJLS` JVU[LZ[LK HUK THU` TVYL
places are going to older applicants. Mr.
Gove described the report as “brilliant
and ground-breaking”, though the
extent to which Prof. Wolf’s suggestions
will be implemented is unclear and it is
thought that this may take several years
to implement.
Toby Karenowski
The report proposes a complete overhaul
of the system, including a call to remove
schemes offered to schools that reward
good academic results regardless of the
X\HSP[` HUK SL]LS VM X\HSPÄJH[PVU [HRLU
Though boosting league table rankings,
it is felt by many that these incentives
07
COMMENT
FASCISM
OUT OF
FASHION
GALLIANO SACKED BY DIOR
Years ago, when asked how he
wanted to be remembered, Dior’s
creative director John Galliano
replied simply, “As a romantic”.
Unfortunately, romanticism does not
normally encompass anti-Semitism
and a penchant for fascist dictators.
Perhaps the French fashion house’s
golden-boy will be remembered only
as ‘that designer who turned out to be
a bit racist’.
When videos appeared on the web
showing Mr Galliano proclaiming his
love for Hitler and explaining to patrons
of a Parisian café that “[they] would be
dead today” had Hitler’s plans not been
thwarted, it wasn’t long before events
ZUVÎHSSLK )` SH[L -LIY\HY` +PVY
announced that they had suspended
Galliano following his arrest over antiSemitic comments. With increasing
pressure from the numerous ethnic
NYV\WZ OL OHK VMMLUKLK [OL ÄUHS UHPS
PU .HSSPHUV»Z JVMÄU ^HZ KYP]LU OVTL I`
Academy Award winning actress Natalie
Portman. Ms Portman, herself a devout
1L^HUK[OLUL^MHJLVM+PVY»Z4PZZ+PVY
*OtYPLMYHNYHUJLZHPKZOL^HZ¸ZOVJRLK
and disgusted” by the video and
threatened to break her contract with
[OLMHZOPVUOV\ZL\USLZZ+PVYJ\[HSS[PLZ
^P[O [OL KLZPNULY 6U Z[Z[ 4HYJO +PVY
issued a statement saying Galliano had
ILLU ÄYLK ^P[O PTTLKPH[L LMMLJ[ ;OL
IYHUK»ZMV\UKLY*OYPZ[PHU+PVYKLZJYPILK
Galliano’s remarks as “odious”.
Galliano is known to be secretive; one
employee worked under him for a year
but never actually met him. Amongst
the select few close to Galliano, there
was growing concern that he had lost
touch with reality and that he had slipped
back into his previous drug and alcohol
addiction. Additionally, for a man who
personally oversaw twelve collections a
year it’s not unreasonable to suggest his
recent behaviour could be, in part, due to
his immense workload. But there is a limit
to what is acceptable, even for a creative
eccentric under immense professional
pressure.
08
ISSUE 210| MAY 2011
+PVY»Z PUP[PHS PUHJ[P]P[` V]LY [OL TH[[LY PZ
understandable, considering the need
ÄYZ[ [V H\[OLU[PJH[L [OL ]PKLVZ HUK
investigate fully the allegations made
against the designer. Yet even as charges
against Galliano were substantiated and a
ZLJVUKSH^Z\P[^HZÄSLKYLSH[PUN[VZPTPSHY
allegations from the previous October,
+PVY HWWLHYLK YLS\J[HU[ [V HKKYLZZ [OL
situation. It is a tough situation for any
boss to be in when the person involved
has pushed your worldwide sales to an
estimated £600 million, and particularly
ÔLU )LYUHYK (YUH\S[ *,6 VM [OL
THZZP]L 3=4/ .YV\W +PVY»Z WHYLU[
company, personally oversaw Galliano’s
appointment.
Perhaps the fashion house had hoped
that over time, the whole nasty business
would be forgotten. But there comes
a point when moral obligations are
forced to overrule commercial interest.
*OYPZ[PHU +PVY MV\UKLK [OL IYHUK PU
1947 with the purpose of bringing back
the female glamour that had been set
aside and forgotten in the war. Galliano
had quite conclusively gone against the
]LY` LZZLUJL VM ÔH[ [OL +PVY /V\ZL
had been founded on, yet the Board
still took almost a week before taking
M\Y[OLY HJ[PVU :PKUL` ;VSLKHUV +PVY»Z
*,6 HUK JVPUJPKLU[HSS` OLHK VM H
prominent Jewish family stated: “I very
ÄYTS` JVUKLTU ÔH[ ^HZ ZHPK I` 1VOU
.HSSPHUV¹ @L[ ^P[O L]LY` KH` [OH[ +PVY
delayed taking action, further damage
was being done to the brand’s reputation
– damage that could prove very hard to
repair.
As a global brand, one would expect
+PVY [V HJ[ VY H[ SLHZ[ IL ZLLU [V HJ[ PU
a moral and ethical manner, yet their
delayed action must be viewed by
many as apathy, or perhaps worse, a
lack of concern for one of humanity’s
most divisive and destructive issues.
Perhaps when Galliano stands trial in
Paris later this year, it may spark a global
readjustment of moral compasses. They
say there’s no such thing as bad publicity;
+PVY»Z Z\JJLZZ K\YPUN 7HYPZ HUK 4PSHU
-HZOPVU >LLRZ ^V\SK JLY[HPUS` Z\NNLZ[
as much. We can but hope.
Toby Karenowski
COMMENT
BERLUSCONI
HOW LONG CAN SLICK SILVIO KEEP GOING?
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is back in court as
a consequence of key aspects of his audacious exemption
bill being overturned. Previously this bill prevented him
or his ministers from being subject to legal trial whilst
PU VMÄJL ;OL YLVWLUPUN VM [OLZL [YPHSZ TLHUZ OL PZ UV^
charged with bribery to withhold testimony, payment of an
underage sex worker and tax fraud. This is on top of his 20
V[OLYWYL]PV\ZJV\Y[JHZLZPUJS\KPUNKY\N[YHMÄJRPUN4HÄH
collusion, embezzlement and multiple counts of bribery.
Friends of Berlusconi do rightly make the point he has yet
to be convicted. However, this is largely due to changes in
the law which he brought about; either exempting him or
his crime from prosecution or subjecting the trials to ‘time
limit’ laws which void cases that drag on for too long.
If the Italian PM being a crook wasn’t bad enough, he is also a
serial womaniser, incredibly insensitive and rather bigoted. His
divorce proceedings were due to his consorting with 18 year old
Noemi Letizia, in 2009 he was connected to a Bari prostitute and
most recently he has been accused of participating in ‘bunga
bunga’ rituals; think mass, naked, African themed orgies. Rash,
TPZQ\KNLK JVTTLU[Z HYL HSZV )LYS\ZJVUP»Z MVY[L -VYLPNU
companies were told to invest in Italy because they “have the
most beautiful secretaries”, Abruzzo earthquake victims were
advised to “see it like a weekend camping” and, according to
Berlusconi, Italians trying to escape poverty should simply “do
it my way and earn more money”. Even more astoundingly he
claimed “Mussolini never killed anyone, he just sent dissenters
abroad for vacation” and, when talking on his penchant for
women, that it is “better to be fond of beautiful girls than gay”.
So, sex, corruption, a myriad of misjudged comments and
homophobia. One has to wonder how this man is still in power.
Many attribute it to the Italian populace. They claim Berlusconi’s
arrogant chauvinism appeals to the typical Italian voter and
that he is somewhat of an idol. This
seems very misguided. If we are to
shove the whole of Italy into outdated
Z[LYLV[`WLZ [OLU [OL -YLUJO TH` HZ
well be garlic-swinging cyclists and
[OL)YP[PZONLU[LLSÅH[JHWWLKMLYYL[
wielding toffs. Simple stereotypes
should not be relied on to explain
such complex issues. The more likely
reason that Berlusconi still clings
[V WV^LY PZ OPZ IHMÅPUNS` HIZVS\[L
level of media control. He owns 4 of
the 7 Italian TV stations, a myriad of
leading newspaper titles and has
direct or indirect control over 90%
of national televisual media due to
OPZ HKKP[PVUHS PUÅ\LUJL HZ OLHK VM
state. This level of media monopoly is
totally unprecedented anywhere in the
democratic world, even more so when
one considers it is the Prime Minister
possessing it. Indeed, the recent
4\YKVJO ÄHZJV WHSLZ PU JVTWHYPZVU"
he was only competing for the majority
stake in one media organisation and
has minuscule political power in
comparison.
So is there any hope of ousting
Berlusconi, the man who openly
admitted he went into politics to
protect his own business interests?
Yes, possibly. With the revival of these
court cases, plummeting opinion polls,
the long awaited emergence of a viable
political alternative and his masses of
bad plastic surgery, the 2012 general
election should hopefully be decisive.
Yet with his media monopoly and
extensive political contacts, PM or
UV[OL^PSSL_LY[ZPNUPÄJHU[PUÅ\LUJL
for many years to come.
Joe Todd
09
COMMENT
BAD NEWS
FOR…
WOMANKIND
The 8th4HYJOTHYRLK[OL[O0U[LYUH[PVUHS>VTLU»Z+H`HU
annual event that is celebrated across the globe and is even an
VMÄJPHSOVSPKH`MVYKVaLUZVMJV\U[YPLZ0UOVUV\YVM[OPZ4L[YV
ran a poll that asked their readers to vote for their favourite
PUÅ\LU[PHS^VTHU[VSP]LVY^VYRPU3VUKVUPU[OLWHZ[JLU[\Y`
;OL ^PUULY ^HZ 3LVUH 3L^PZ ^PUULY VM ? -HJ[VY :OL
gained a staggering 70.9% of the 10,000 votes, ahead of 39
politicians, authors, sportswomen, entrepreneurs and many
other remarkable women.
Lewis has worked for several charities as well as being a
highly successful recording artist, but social networking sites
^LYLIHMÅLK[OH[[OPZ^HZLUV\NO[VTLYP[]V[PUNOLYHZH[Y\S`
ºPUÅ\LU[PHS»ÄN\YLMYVT[OLWHZ[`LHYZº,TTLSPUL7HURO\YZ[»
ILJHTL H [YLUKPUN [VWPJ VU ;^P[[LY [OL MHTV\Z :\MMYHNL[[L
NHPULKQ\Z[VM[OL]V[LZHUKVUL^VTHUJVTTLU[LK
that the poll made them “feel nauseous”. A comment under the
story on the Metro website added: “Well done Metro readers,
you’ve managed to prove yourselves the stupidest people on
the planet.”
Fiona Crosby
WORSE NEWS
FOR...
AIRHOSTESSES
A curious case of peek-a-boo aboard Australian airline Virgin
)S\L ^LU[ Z[YHUNLS` H^Y` ÔLU H ÅPNO[ H[[LUKHU[ ZO\[ H TVU[OVSK[VKKSLYPU[VHUV]LYOLHKJVTWHY[TLU[-VYHULU[PYL
10 seconds, toddler Riley Williamson experienced less than
ÄYZ[ JSHZZ ZLY]PJL ÄUKPUN OPTZLSM ^P[O JVUZPKLYHIS` YLK\JLK
legroom.
Apparently to the amusement of passengers onboard the
ÅPNO[[OLJOPSKLTLYNLKMYVTÔH[T\Z[OH]LILLU[OLVYKLHS
unscathed. Speaking after the “obscene” event, mother Ms
>PSSPHTZVUJSHPTLK¸-VYKH`ZVULUK0^HZJY`PUN¹
Who knows what sorts of pandemonium little Riley could
have gotten into in a whole 10 seconds? It is safe to say that
[OPZ ÅPNO[ H[[LUKHU[ ^HZ YHWPKS` W\ZOLK KVÛ [OL LTLYNLUJ`
ZSPKLOVWLM\SS`[VÄUKHUL^]VJH[PVUÔPJOKVLZUV[PU]VS]L
childcare, while Mum landed herself a consolation prize of 3
MYLLÅPNO[Z^P[O[OLHPYSPUL5V[HIHKL_JOHUNLMVYH[LTWVYHY`
change in seating.
Helena Murphy
AND IN OTHER NEWS…
THE WORLD’S FAVOURITE TIGER-BLOODED WARLOCK JUST KEEPS ON WINNING
10
*OHYSPL :OLLU OHZ ZL[ H UL^ ^H[LYZOLK MVY JLSLIYP[`
megalomania. Whether the new benchmark represents either
a dizzying high or a shocking new low for celebrity culture, it’s
HWSHJLÔLYLYLHSP[`PTP[H[LZÄJ[PVUPUHTPUKILUKPUNHZZH\S[
that might leave you feeling like you’re in the throes of your own
Hollywood bender, blazing through an orgy of coke, fast cars
and porn stars. But you’re not. You’re in the East Midlands, and
it’s all normal.
H TLKPVJYL HJ[VY JV\SK HSZV ^YP[L IHK WVL[Y`& :OLLU OHZ
LU[LYLK PU[V H IP[[LY ML\K ^P[O *): HUK [OL JYLH[VYZ VM ;^V
and a Half Men, the show in which he had starred until its
JHUJLSSH[PVUPUSH[L-LIY\HY`6U4HYJO[O:OLLUSH\UJOLK
a £62 million lawsuit against the show claiming long-term
harassment. This entire furore continues against the backdrop
of Sheen’s ongoing battle for custody of his two year old twins
with third wife Brooke Mueller.
The whole debacle began in late January after a lengthy
debauch of sex and drugs landed the world’s highest paid TV
actor in hospital, and then subsequently in rehab. The whole
series of events seemed to have followed a well established
narrative arch for such celeb misdemeanours: addiction,
contrition, and a swift rehabilitation. But that was until Sheen
decided that tiger blood ran through his veins, that the rest
of us are trolls, and started blasting “truth torpedoes” across
the bows of the mainstream establishment in a series of major
network interviews and eccentric webcasts.
+LZWP[LOPZJSLHYS`K`ZM\UJ[PVUHSWLYZVUHSSPMLHUKOPZYLJLU[S`
scuppered attempts to run for SU President, Sheen is, well,
^PUUPUN+\O/PZIPaHYYLISLUKVMHTLZZPHUPJJVTWSL_KY\N
addled hysteria and shrewd media manipulation does feel
a bit like being punched in the brain but it’s also inspired a
comic book biography and led to a sell-out spoken word tour.
It wouldn’t seem out of place now if, like Howard Beale in the
WYVWOL[PJ ÄST 5L[^VYR :OLLU ILJHTL [OL ÄYZ[ THU [V IL
assassinated on air. Whatever does happen, people won’t stop
watching.
Aside from the accusations of further drug abuse and streams
VMWYH[[SPUNUVUZLUZLÔVMVYPUZ[HUJL^V\SKOH]L[OV\NO[
Callum Paton
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM/SPORT
11
SPORT
NO SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP FOR
THE STUDENT-ATHLETE
The dust is settling on the busiest period of the Nottingham
Varsity series and the average student’s interest in university
sport is slowly waning once more. Looking across the pond,
however, it is obvious that American student sport is far
more integral to the average American student’s university
experience. While the funding that American university
sport receives on the basis of developing student athletes
is undeniably more, debate still exists as to whether this is
truly for the better.
resources, which sees the average student suffer.
The sell-out crowd at this year’s Varsity Ice Hockey came in at
Q\Z[ \UKLY -VY [OL [^V 5V[[PUNOHT <UP]LYZP[PLZ [OPZ PZ
celebrated an extraordinary spectacle in terms of atmosphere
and an expression of student support for university sport.
Indeed, with many Ice Hockey players seeking higher education
queuing up to come either here or Trent merely for a chance
to play in the largest university Ice Hockey match outside of
5VY[O(TLYPJH[OPZÄ_[\YLP[PZUV[VUSÒLYL[OH[P[PZJVUZPKLYLK
an extraordinary event in student sport. That it is the biggest
event of its kind ‘outside of North America’ is, unfortunately,
HJSLHYPUKPJH[PVUVM[OLPZZ\LH[OHUK;OL]PL^PUNÄN\YLZMVY
this annual match are dwarfed in comparison with the bestsupported college football team in the USA, the Tennessee
Volunteers, who play in front of an average crowd of over
100,000 week in, week out.
At times, colleges have gone even further than this. In 2007, 23
Z[\KLU[H[OSL[LZMYVT-SVYPKH:[H[L<UP]LYZP[`^LYLMV\UK[VOH]L
had their answers for an online exam provided by staff members
and were subsequently expelled. This image, at odds with the
YVZL[PU[LK ]PZPVU VM JVSSLNL ZWVY[ WVY[YH`LK PU ÄSTZ Z\JO HZ
*VHJO*HY[LYHUK)SPUK:PKLPZZHKS`[OLYLHSP[`PUZVTLJHZLZ
That said, there are some that live up to the billing of a student
athlete and even continue their education above the mandatory
one year; the 2009 off-season for basketball saw 10% of NBA
WSH`LYZ [YHKL PU [OLPY ZULHRLYZ MVY ZH[JOLSZ -\Y[OLYTVYL [OL
PUZ[P[\[PVUZVM/HY]HYK@HSLVMMLYUVZJOVSHYZOPWZMVYZWVY[I\[
remain to be two of the most competitive.
The gulf between the respective attitudes in regards to
student sport can be explained by a disparity in funding and
the support offered by the respective countries’ governments
offer. In the United States, it is a requirement to complete at
least one year of college in order to be eligible to play many
ZWVY[ZZ\JOHZ(TLYPJHU-VV[IHSSHUKHZVM)HZRL[IHSS
professionally. This is starkly in contrast with the British
system, where education can be seen as an undesirable
handicap. Most footballers in Britain do not receive adequate
education over the age of 10, let alone attaining university
level education, though there are signs of improvement. One
JLSLIYH[LKL_HTWSL[OL:\UKLYSHUK(-*(JHKLT`VMMLYZ
OV\YZVMHJHKLTPJ[\P[PVUH^LLRHUK[OLPYºZJOVSHYZ»ÔVÄUPZO
their education at the Academy come out with, among other
X\HSPÄJH[PVUZHWYVMLZZPVUHSYLMLYLL»ZSPJLUJLHUKHU-(ºSL]LS
1’ coaching badge. The funding for both college and university
sport comes from the institutions which they serve to represent
yet the difference lies in the proportion spent on sport, which is
increasingly becoming a bone of contention.
12
(YLWVY[I`[OL(TLYPJHUUL^ZWHWLY<:(;6+(@ZOV^LK[OH[
only 40 colleges claim that their athletic departments are selfZ\MÄJPLU[^P[O[OLTHQVYP[`\ZPUNZ[\KLU[MLLZ[VZ\IZPKPZL[OL
athletic programmes. A case in point is the allocation of funding
J\[ZTHKLI`[OL*VSSLNLVM>PSSPHT4HY`=PYNPUPHÔPJOZH^
H I\KNL[ J\[ [V [OLPY ([OSL[PJ +LWHY[TLU[ PU YLZWVUZL [V
HYLK\J[PVUPUZ[H[LM\UKPUN-\Y[OLYTVYLTVZ[Z[\KLU[Z
HYL\UH^HYL[OH[[OL`HYLM\UKPUNJVSSLNLZWVY[ZHUKJLY[HPUS`
UV[ [V [OL SL]LS PU ÔPJO [OL` KV >PSSPHT 4HY` Z[\KLU[Z
contribute almost a twentieth of their fees to their Athletic Union.
In contrast, Oxford Brookes’ sports budget was at its highest in
1998 at £150,000, which saw the students contributing roughly
HOLHK3VVRPUNH[[OLZLÄN\YLZP[PZJSLHY[OH[ILOPUK[OL
glamour of US college sport there is an unjust distribution of
ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011
There is greater injustice in that these student athletes take the
place of those that want to pursue academia in it purest form.
(TLYPJHU-VV[IHSSWSH`LYZH[<*3(HUK<*)LYRLSL`VUH]LYHNL
score 300 points lower than their non-athletic classmates in their
:(;Z[OL(TLYPJHULX\P]HSLU[VM[OL(3L]LS;OPZWYVISLTPZ
made worse at certain institutions by a softening of courses in
order to ensure that colleges maintain their student athletes.
Whilst there are obvious problems with the US method of
dealing with student athletes, it provides a great opportunity
for those sportingly gifted, and is sometimes used by the UK’s
own athletes too. In some cases it is a necessity to study in
the US to further athletic goals - in sports such as swimming
and tennis, those that go on to higher education do so, more
often than not, abroad than in England. It is worth noting that,
for those considering continuing their education in the US,
most scholarships are subject to continued demands for high
performance and staying clear from injury. With these factors
in mind, and the fact that with London 2012 just over a year
away, still only a select few of the UK’s 300+ higher education
PUZ[P[\[PVUZHYLYLJLP]PUNL_[YH3V[[LY`-\UKPUNMVYº,SP[L:WVY[»
Many athletes will doubtlessly be weighing up whether an
American education is a gamble worth taking.
Nicholas Batty
SPORT
WHY NOT TRY
BRAZILIAN
JIU-JITSU?
The world of martial arts today is a complex amalgamation
of styles, offering everything from spirituality to self-defence.
Indeed the current market is so saturated that making just one
committed decision becomes an almost impossible task. So
when word came about that a new martial art called Brazilian
Jiu-Jitsu was trying to spread its wings in the UK from Rio de
Janeiro, I was understandably dubious.
0[ ^HZU»[ \U[PS T` ÄUHS `LHY H[ \UP]LYZP[` ÔPSZ[ ^H[JOPUN HU
VSKJSPWVM[OL]LY`ÄYZ[<S[PTH[L-PNO[PUN*OHTWPVUZOPWZ[OH[
I saw what Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu could do. I remember staring in
amazement as a skinny 12 stone Brazilian man completely
destroyed a 17½ stone pharmaceutical-grade superhero in 57
seconds. This skinny man then went on to win the event without
throwing a single punch. And the rest is history.
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is a ground-based grappling art created by
the Gracie family, utilising submissions to disable an opponent.
0[^VYRZVU[OLWYLTPZL[OH[TVZ[YLHSÄNO[ZLUKVU[OLÅVVY
where an opponent’s strength, reach and power advantage
becomes somewhat negated. Escaping and prevailing from
disadvantageous positions is therefore the pinnacle of what
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is all about.
Training is split into conditioning, techniques and sparring, all
JVUK\J[LKPUHYLSH_LKH[TVZWOLYLVUTH[[LKÅVVYZ:WHYYPUN
or ‘rolling’ is done with 100% resistance to provide a realistic
but safe way to test techniques in a self-defence situation. We
also provide competition opportunities with the many open
events around the country, which are an incredible training
boost and a chance to compete against a whole spectrum
of people. The Gi is the traditional uniform used by Brazilian
Jiu-Jitsu practitioners, but we also teach No-Gi classes which
usually consists of wearing combat shorts with a T-shirt or rash
guard.
>L^LSJVTLWLVWSLVMHSSHIPSP[PLZUVTH[[LYPMP[»Z`V\YÄYZ[[PTL
or you’ve done other martial arts before, so come and see what
it’s all about.
Training:
Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays:
1\IPSLL:WVY[*LU[YLWTWT
Vincent Pang
OR WHY NOT TRY
CRICKET?
*YPJRL[ WYVIHIS` VUL VM [OL IPNNLZ[ THYTP[L ZWVY[Z [OLYL PZ
Ask someone about cricket and you’ll either get: “I love cricket!
;OLYL»ZQ\Z[UV[OPUNIL[[LYPU[OL^VYSK¹VY¸)HO*YPJRL[P[»ZZV
boring and nothing ever happens!” But seriously, what’s not to
SPRL"^L»YLV\[ZPKLPU[OLZ\UHSSKH`HZZVVUHZVULZWSVKNLVM
YHPUOP[Z[OLNYV\UK^L»YLPUKVVYZSPRLHZOV[HUKILZ[VMHSS^L
stop twice a day for meals!
Nottingham University boasts a large cohort of cricketers, but
of course we could always do with more. The ladies team play
PU[OL[VWTPKSHUKZ)<*:SLHN\LHUK[OLTLUOH]LMV\Y[LHTZ
HSSPU[OL[VWTPKSHUKZ)<*:SLHN\LZ;OPZ`LHY[OLYLPZHIPN
push for club wide promotions.
By now training will have moved form indoor nets to outdoors
H[ /PNOÄLSKZ I\[ P[»Z UL]LY [VV SH[L [V NL[ PU]VS]LK 4H[JOLZ
are often, inevitably, scheduled on the same days as deadlines
and exams so getting a playing XI together is something team
JHW[HPUZÄUKHSV[LHZPLYÔLU[OLYLHYLTHU`WSH`LYZ[VJOVVZL
from. All standards are catered for, whether you’re a county pro
VY H ]PSSHNL Z[HS^HY[ -YPLUKS` HUK PUJS\ZP]L <UP]LYZP[` JYPJRL[
hosts some epic socials and organises an annual tour just after
L_HTZ SHZ[ `LHY ^L ^LU[ [V :[ 3\JPH :V PM JYPJRL[ PZ `V\Y
passion and you are yet to exercise it, then get in touch either
[OYV\NOV\Y(<WHNLVYQVPU5<**VU-HJLIVVRÄUK
out when training is and get yourself down!
James McAndrew
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM/SPORT
13
SPORT
GREAT SPORTING RIVALRIES
LAKERS AND CELTICS
There is nothing quite like it in American sport. Since the
inception of the league in 1946, the Los Angeles Lakers
and the Boston Celtics have dominated the competition:
winning 33 of the 63 championships between them. It is not
only in terms of trophies that this rivalry can be measured;
the fate and history of these two franchises has been
entwined for as long as anyone can remember. No other
rivalry has given us as many nail-biting, intensely fought
clashes as basketball’s two superpowers have. Americans
would immediately recognise the famous mantras of the
rivalry, though ‘Beat LA!’ seems to lack the general wit of
)YP[PZO VMMLUZP]L JOHU[Z (UK ÄUHSS` UVUL IYPUN X\P[L [OL
same level of hatred to the table as when the Lakers and
Celtics collide because, quite simply, these two teams
absolutely hate each other. So what exactly is it that makes
this rivalry so special?
;OL *LS[PJZ3HRLYZ YP]HSY` ^HZ IVYU PU [OL WLYPVK IL[^LLU
1959 and 1969. Here, these two sides met seven times in the
-PUHSZ^P[O)VZ[VU^PUUPUNL]LY`ZPUNSLVULVM[OLT;OPZ^HZ
WHY[ VM H WLYPVK VM *LS[PJZ KVTPUH[PVU PU ÔPJO [OL` ^VU HU
unprecedented 11 championships in 13 seasons. This was
thanks to one of the greatest coaches of all time, Red Auerbach,
and the most successful player of all time, Bill Russell. The
ÄYZ[(MYPJHU(TLYPJHUWSH`LY[VHJOPL]LZ\WLYZ[HYZ[H[\ZPU[OL
NBA, Russell willed his team on through a tenacious defence
and his leadership on and off the court, despite frequent battles
with racism. Indeed, such is his legendary reputation as a true
JOHTWPVU[OH[[OL-PUHSZ4=7(^HYK^HZUHTLKHM[LYOPT
The 1970s was marred by low TV ratings and even lower
attendances as people lost interest in what they thought was an
‘all-black league with a bunch of guys who did drugs.’ However,
the 1980s saw the rebirth of the NBA thanks to the introduction
of two iconic players and the renewal of this famous rivalry. Larry
)PYK ^HZ KYHM[LK I` [OL *LS[PJZ PU ^P[O 4HNPJ 1VOUZVU
taken as the 1st pick by the Lakers a year later. Both players
were credited as revitalising the league as Johnson led a glitzy,
glamorous “Showtime” Lakers which also contained Kareem
Abdul-Jabbar, the highest scoring player in NBA history. They
contrasted greatly with the introverted, hardnosed style of
)PYK»Z*LS[PJZ
The match-up seemed scripted for television and, when
[OL [LHTZ ÄUHSS` TL[ PU [OL -PUHSZ (TLYPJHU PU[LYLZ[
had reached unprecedented levels. Not since the Russell*OHTILYSHPUTH[JO\WVM[OL ZOHK[OLJV\U[Y`[HRLUZV
much to a rivalry. The series began with the Lakers promising
YL]LUNL[VWYL]PV\Z`LHYZVMHNVUÌ\[VUJLHNHPU[OL*LS[PJZ
came up trumps 4-2. The series included the classic ‘Heat’
.HTL ]PJ[VY` MVY [OL *LS[PJZ HZ [OL` JVU[YV]LYZPHSS` YLM\ZLK
to air-condition their court. The series was also made famous
for Boston’s Kevin McHale’s takedown of Kurt Rambis which
triggered the start of what is still considered the most physical
rivalry between two sides. This was continued the next year as
3(ÄUHSS`JVUX\LYLK[OLVSKLULT`KLZWP[LSVZPUN.HTL
PUÔH[^HZRUVÛHZº;OL4LTVYPHS+H`4HZZHJYL»
The Lakers then repeated the feat in 1987, winning again 4-2 in
what became the last epic contest of the Magic-Bird era.
14
It was not until 2008 that NBA fans were treated to another
*LS[PJZ3HRLYZJSHZOHZIV[O[LHTZLU[LYLK^P[OUL^JVUÄKLU[
[LHTZ ;OL *LS[PJZ OHK [OLPY º)PN » PU 2L]PU .HYUL[[ 9H`
Allen and Paul Pierce who had united to make a push for that
elusive ring that had eluded each of their stellar careers. The
Lakers were able to call upon Kobe Bryant, one of the greatest
and most divisive players of all time who is considered the
closest thing possible to Michael Jordan. Along with the most
successful coach of all time, Phil Jackson, the Lakers entered
[OL-PUHSZO\UNY`MVYUL^Z\JJLZZ/V^L]LY[OL`JV\SK
UV[X\P[LTH[JO[OLWHZZPVUHUKPU[LUZP[`VMH*LS[PJZZPKLSLK
I`3(UH[P]L7PLYJLÔVSLKHZ\WLYI[LHTLMMVY[HZ[OL*LS[PJZ
won 4-2. However, once again, revenge came for the Lakers
in 2010 as they defeated their bitter rivals 4-3 which featured
H-PUHSZ4=7WLYMVYTHUJLMYVT)Y`HU[;OPZZLYPLZ^HZUV[LK
for being, by far, the most popular match-up since Jordan’s
retirement.
>P[O [OL WSH`VMMZ HIV\[ [V ILNPU VUJL HNHPU HUK [OL *LS[PJZ
leading the Lakers with 17 championships to 16, it is an open
secret that NBA fans are hoping these two sides will lock horns
again for a 13th time.
Joe Lobo
MUM’S
THE
WORD
STUDENT
PARENTING
by Samantha Owen
M
aintaining a 2:1 in amongst
the all-enveloping chaos
of university can be very
KPMÄJ\S[ 5LNV[PH[PUN V\Y
way through a lifestyle that requires us
to balance sports training, a part-time
job and society commitments - whilst
Z[PSSÄUKPUN[PTL[VTHRLV\YIP^LLRS`
appearance on the town - leaves
most of us exhausted, penniless, and
permanently hung-over.
But can you imagine having to wake
up every morning at 6am to tend to
a toddler? Having to skip lectures to
pick up your chickenpox-ridden child
from playschool? Trying to write your
dissertation with a screaming baby
demanding your attention? Or becoming
a social hermit because all of your money
gets spent on nappies, baby food and
childcare?
In 2008, the Guardian reported that
41,325 girls under the age of 18 had
images by Alix Blankson & Helen Miller
fallen pregnant in England and Wales.
Information released recently by the
6MÄJL VM 5H[PVUHS :[H[PZ[PJZ Z[H[LZ [OH[
in 2009, 3,086 girls under the age of 18
fell pregnant in the East Midlands alone,
with 495 conceptions in Nottinghamshire.
+LZWP[L[OLYH[LVM[LLUHNLWYLNUHUJPLZ
dropping slowly on a national level, these
statistics highlight that there are still a lot
of young people who are falling pregnant,
be it by accident or design.
It should therefore come as no surprise
that the number of student parents is
on the increase. More and more young
mums are choosing to go into further
and higher education once they have had
children. But just how hard is it to juggle
all the responsibilities of being a parent,
at the same time as studying? And how
KPMÄJ\S[ PZ P[ [V WYV]PKL MVY H MHTPS` ^P[O
little more than a student loan for
ÄUHUJPHSZ\WWVY[&
In
between
c h a n g i n g
nappies,
doing
the
housework
and
stocking
food cupboards,
student parents
ULLK [V ÄUK [PTL
to get to work on
essays,
reports
and presentations.
Time management
is one of the
hardest tasks
facing a student with children, with demands
from both home and university requiring a lot
of time, effort and dedication. After a hard day
in Hallward, most of us are grateful to slouch
in front of the television, indulge in whatever
American sitcom is on E4 or head out for a
few cocktails. But for a student parent, the real
work starts when they get home.
0ZWVRL[VÄUHS`LHYZ[\KLU[.LTTHÔV
OHZ JOPSKYLU HNLK HUK [V SVVR M\Y[OLY
into the travails facing student parenthood:
“It’s really tricky. It’s hard to get a balance”,
she explained, “You feel like you don’t spend
enough time with your children because
you’re too busy doing coursework, and it
really does put a lot of pressure on.” Gemma
attends lectures during the week, as well as
maintaining a part time job. She continued,
“I’m engaged and my partner works full time,
and I work about 25 hours a week doing night
shifts.”
-VY TVZ[ Z[\KLU[ WHYLU[Z SPRL
.LTTH[OLÄUHUJPHSZ[YHPUVMYHPZPUN
children whilst studying makes life
PUJYLKPIS` KPMÄJ\S[ 0[ TLHUZ [HRPUN
on part-time work, skimping on food
and petrol and relying on family for
OLSW ;OL UVYTHS Z[\KLU[ TH` ÄUK
themselves resorting to Sainsbury’s
Basics when the overdraft runs
short, but all too often that’s
the result of one too many
Jaeger-Bombs at Ocean,
or an over indulgence
at Topshop. Imagine
barely having enough
money to cover your
rent and bills, or not
having enough petrol
to pick your children
up from nursery. Or
not even being able to
afford childcare at
HSS -VY [OL Z[\KLU[
parent,
money
never stretches far
enough.
15
:[\KLU[ -PUHUJL ,UNSHUK ZH`Z [OH[ [OL
possibility is there to apply for extra help
PM`V\HYLHZ[\KLU[WHYLU[-\Y[OLYTVYL
the direct.gov website states that ‘If you
are a full-time student with children you
TH`X\HSPM`MVYL_[YHÄUHUJPHSOLSWVU[VW
VM[OLZ[HUKHYKZ[\KLU[ÄUHUJLWHJRHNL»
(TVUNZ[[OLOLSWVUVMMLYHYL*OPSKJHYL
Grants, The Parents’ Learning Allowance
HUK *OPSK ;H_ *YLKP[ <UMVY[\UH[LS` [OPZ
L_[YH ÄUHUJL VM[LU MHPSZ [V JV]LY HSS [OL
expenses of raising a child, and isn’t
always accessible to everybody.
Abbey, a postgraduate on Sutton
Bonington campus, talked about how
upsetting it can be when struggling
ÄUHUJPHSS` :OL [VSK TL! ¸0 Q\Z[ ^PZO ^L
didn’t have to scrimp and save all the
time, and maybe I could take Oscar [her
son] out to the zoo or something at the
weekends, or be able to drive to work
rather than wait on buses because we
can’t afford petrol.” She added, “Having
to rely on help from parents to buy Oscar
clothes and milk sometimes makes us
feel like we can’t afford to be parents!”
With there being an obvious hardship for
those trying to walk the precarious line
between parenthood and student life,
what help and aid is there available at our
very own University of Nottingham? How
is the university looking after this delicate
group of students?
I interviewed Sue Mellors, who has
been the University of Nottingham’s
*OPSKJHYL:LY]PJLZ4HUHNLYZPUJL She explained that the university offers
a range of childcare services including
the day nursery located near the sports
facilities, the play centre on Science
Road, a holiday club and a toy library. The
services are tailored to staff and students
who may need childcare intermittently
throughout the week depending on
schedules. Sue told me that “some
[children] do mornings, some do full
days, and some do certain days and not
others.”
The childcare services are also heavily
subsidised for students, with student
[HYPMMZ Z[HY[PUN MYVT H ^LLR MVY H
JOPSK\UKLYJVTWHYLK[V[OLZ[HMM[HYPMM
of £200 a week. Students still need to
qualify for the lowest rates, with those
who are single parents or those with low
household incomes automatically being
given the subsidised student rate. Sue
assured me that “no student will ever pay
more than a staff member.”
16
ISSUE 210
206||MAY
NOVEMBER
2011 2010
But what use are these facilities if
students still lack access? The University
openly admits that there is a long waiting
list for the day nursery, which means
that many parents have to go private –
a luxury many can hardly afford. Student
T\T *HYVSPUL [VSK TL ¸4` KH\NO[LY
has been on the waiting list for about six
months, and the staff seem sure that she
won’t get a place for a while as the list is
very long.” She further commented that
her experiences had left her wishing that
the University had “a nursery system that
is accessible to everyone rather than a
privileged few.”
Many student parents also called for
childcare facilities to extend to Sutton
Bonington campus. A large proportion of
the student parents I interviewed claimed
that a nursery on our satellite campus
would help save time and money, with
many parents having to skip lectures and
ÄUPZOLHYS`[VNL[IHJR[V<UP]LYZP[`7HYR
to pick children up on time. It is obviously
a good thing that the current facilities
exist, but it would appear that there are
still many things that could be improved
in order to help even more students.
:V P[ PZ JSLHYS` X\P[L KPMÄJ\S[ [V IHSHUJL
the hectic life of a parent and student,
but what if you hadn’t planned on being
a parent whilst at university? What would
you do if you found out that you were
pregnant? Would you know where to look
for help?
Verity has been studying at The University
of Nottingham for 5 years, completing
OLY<UKLYNYHK\H[LHUK4HZ[LYZ+LNYLLZ
ILMVYL Z[HY[PUN OLY 7O+ PU :LW[LTILY
2010. She found out she was pregnant
Q\Z[^LLRZHM[LYHJJLW[PUNOLY7O+VMMLY
HUKOHZMV\UKP[KPMÄJ\S[[VKLHS^P[O[OL
University since. “It was never a case
VM º>PSS 0 KV [OL 7/+&» P[ ^HZ Q\Z[ º6R
this is the situation, how am I going to
deal with it?’” explained Verity. “The
biggest problem I had was that there is
no maternity clause for students. When
I spoke to my supervisors to tell them I
was pregnant I wanted to know what my
position was, so I was really surprised
that there wasn’t actually any policy for
students.”
Verity has been constantly battling with
administration over how to deal with her
maternity leave. The University asked her
to sign off and suspend her studies, but
Verity didn’t want to, nor could she afford
to. She has since spent the last 6 months
conducting a year’s worth of research in
order to prove to her department that she
doesn’t need the time off. “I told myself I
^HZNVPUN[VOH]LHSST`ÄYZ[`LHY^VYR
ÄUPZOLK I` [OL TPKKSL VM -LIY\HY` HUK
I have. I have worked my arse off,” said
Verity. “I have proven to people I can still
jump through all of these admin hoops
they want me to jump through.”
It is disappointing then, that the University
still do not to have a system in place for
those students who do fall pregnant
during their studies. While many would
be happy to suspend their studies, it
seems unfair that this is the only choice
being offered. The Students’ Union
champions the Easy Tiger campaign, but
there is a question of how much support
is offered when students actually become
pregnant.
Katie Mackay, the Students’ Union
,X\HS 6WWVY[\UP[PLZ HUK >LSMHYL 6MÄJLY
admitted that the student handbook
needs severely updating in regards to
student pregnancies, and it was unclear
as to exactly what help would be
H]HPSHISL:OLL_WSHPULK[OH[P[»ZKPMÄJ\S[
to cater for students who have children or
who are pregnant, because unless they
come looking for help there is no way of
contacting them. Katie stated, “They are
a hard to reach group. If we don’t know
who they are then we can’t make special
allowances for them.”
2H[PL HSVUN ^P[O 7VZ[NYHK\H[L 6MÄJLY
Morgan Stankey, is campaigning for the
university to register students with caring
responsibilities in order to start making
changes that can really help those
who need it. Under current processes,
students do not need to state whether
they have any dependents when they
apply for university or when they complete
the university’s registration process,
which means that student parents pass
under the administration radar. As Katie
L_WSHPULK ¸;OL ÄYZ[ Z[LW [V PTWYV]PUN
things is to get them registered.”
So, with student parents continuing
[V IH[[SL ^P[O [OL [PTL HUK ÄUHUJPHS
pressures at home and at university, it
appears that little can be done to improve
things until the number of students
that do have caring responsibilities is
monitored. An NUS report in 2008, titled
‘Meet the Parents’, called for just that, yet
little change seems to have been made
since.
It would seem then, that the university
and the Student’s Union have a basic
infrastructure in place to try and help
student parents, and the childcare
facilities currently available are clearly
of a high standard. However, a little
more time, money and inclination could
seriously improve the systems in place to
reach students with caring responsibilities
- ensuring that all of these students get
as much help and support as possible.
17
i-dosing
M
by Sarah Dawood
image by Kayleigh Green
P3 tracks that claim
to mimic the effects of
drugs by incorporating
so-called ‘I-Dosing’ or
brainwave technology are now being
sold on the Internet. For those dosers
who want to steer clear of drugs, there
are also tracks that mimic emotive and
meditative states, such as ‘Focus’,
‘Lucid Dreams’ and ‘Relaxation’.
;OLZJPLU[PÄJ[LYTMVYZ\JO[LJOUVSVN`PZ
‘binaural brainwave dosing’, the process
by which listening to differing frequencies
of auditory impulses promotes the
creation of a ‘binaural beat’ in one’s mind,
which in turn activates a cortical rhythm
^P[OPU [OL IYHPU +LWLUKPUN VU [OL
frequencies this can, allegedly, induce
a state of relaxation, ultra-alertness or
hallucination. The beats induced can be
used as therapeutic painkillers, stressrelief and as a way to induce sleep. Or
so ‘they’ say.
dose continued and the vacant sound of
someone walking past my room made
me jump and retreat to the light and
dose-less realms of my housemate’s
bedroom, before returning to reluctantly
take the rest of my hit.
Being part of a generation obsessed
with marketing and commercialism,
one should expect that these medical
purposes for binaural beat technology
would be put to more interesting and
YLJYLH[PVUHS \ZL +LZWP[L T` L_[YLTL
cynicism, I was willing to give this
0+VZPUN[OPUNHNV6UKVÛSVHKPUN[OL
0+VZLYWYVNYHTMYVT[OLVMÄJPHS^LIZP[L
I was given a 35 minute binaural track
named ‘Alcohol’. The track consisted
of oscillating sound waves, a series of
repetitive beeps and then a delightful
array of white noise to conclude my
hardcore, headphone-orientated prelash session. You are advised to sit
comfortably, relax and close your eyes
whilst listening to the track.
(M[LY JVTWSL[PUN [OL 0+VZL 0 JLY[HPUS`
did not feel drunk. I did, however, feel
physically exhausted and tired for
roughly 2 hours afterwards, as did most
of the other people I tested this on. It is
KPMÄJ\S[ [V NH\NL ÔL[OLY [OPZ PZ PU MHJ[
some kind of binaural phenomenon, an
intense case of the placebo effect or
simply a result of incessant hoping for
35 minutes that these endless, droning
noises would return to the inhuman
abyss that they came from and leave my
poor and abused brain alone.
The main downfall of this suggestion is
[OH[ÔPSZ[0+VZPUNP[PZULHYPTWVZZPISL
to relax. Lying alone in a dark, isolated
room, with exceptionally ethereal noises
being hammered into your head
does not initially strike me as pure
meditative bliss, nor a desirable
alternative to drinking and
socialising with my friends.
One person who I tested
[OPZ0+VZLVUZJYLHTLK
halfway through “What
Q\Z[ OHWWLULK& +PK
something in the
room just move?”,
and was unable
to
complete
it. On trying it
myself, I too
felt increasingly
paranoid as the
It is likely that the effect you receive
is linked with your state of mind and
perhaps even the type of personality that
you possess; if you enter the experience
nervous and sceptical, it is unlikely to
have a positive or substantial effect
on your mind or body. With this craze
currently circulating around the USA and
Britain, it seems the key concern from
NV]LYUTLU[VMÄJPHSZHUKWHYLU[ZHSPRLPZ
not that young people will be taking part
in this faux-drug-taking ritual, but that it
will tempt them into experimenting with
real drugs.
Having lost my binaural beat virginity, I
am not entirely convinced by this. What I
see to be the most prevalent problem is
the amount of money that is being wasted
on it; the website sells ‘Recreational
Simulations’ discs with a selection of
0+VZLZ MVY ÔPSZ[ MVIIPUN
‘Binaural Beat Guides’ and ‘Binaural
Brainwave Approved Headphones’ at
LX\HSS`PUÅH[LKWYPJLZ
(S[OV\NO0JHUUV[JSHPT[OH[0+VZPUN^PSS
be unsuccessful for everyone, I can say
that it’s probably not worth your time.
Similarly, it’s a bleak world we live in
PM^LOH]L[VW\YJOHZLHU47ÄSL
LU[P[SLKº;YHUX\PS»º*VUÄKLUJL»
VYº*VU[LU[LKULZZ»PUVYKLY[V
feel some basic, fundamental
human emotion. I know
what tranquility feels
like, and it’s not going
to be transported
into my brain
via a laptop
and a pair of
headphones
anytime soon.
18
ISSUE 210 | MAY
2011
L
ea T has a Pocahantasian beauty
about her: her dark thick hair framing
ZVTL VM [OL ÄULZ[ JOLLRIVULZ `V\»SS
ever see. With her dark eyes, olive skin
HUKM\SSSPWZP[KVLZU»[ZLLTÄ[[PUN[V
describe her as simply ‘pretty’. Striking
possibly? Stunning?
The point is however, that Lea T is no
average model. She is a transsexual.
Originally named Leo, she was brought
up in Brazil’s third largest city, Belo
Horizonte. Her fashion career began
when her friend, creative director of
Givenchy, Riccardo Tisci, hired her as his
behind-the-scenes model. But last year,
she emerged from the backstage to the
catwalk. With numerous photo shoots,
magazine covers and now a debut at
Brazil fashion week, her portfolio is
bursting at the seams. On top of this,
*HYPUL 9VP[ÄLSK JVTTPZZPVULK OLY MVY H
U\KL-YLUJO=VN\LWOV[VZOVV[PUÔPJO
Lea wraps one arm around her waist,
and loosely holds her male genitalia with
the other. As you can imagine, it is a
memorable image.
So by her transgenderism, we have
established that Lea T is set apart from the
SPRLZ VM 2H[L 4VZZ VY 5HVTP *HTWILSS
But how real is this disparity? Individuals
such as Lea T provoke discussion as
to the disappearance of gender from
society, and while I am not claiming
[OH[^VTLUHUKTLUHYL[OLZHTL[OH[
^V\SKILYPKPJ\SV\ZI\[P[T\Z[ILHZRLK
whether gender is as polarised as we
like to imagine. Instead of man-to-man,
woman-to-woman,
man-to-woman,
surely we should be communicating on a
human-to-human level? In an era where
racial discrimination is not tolerated, why
can’t we eliminate the gender divide?
I like to grow my head hair, I like to
wear mascara, and I occasionally enjoy
shaving my legs, but that doesn’t mean
I don’t think men should do the same.
Similarly, there is no reason why a woman
should feel it necessary to carry out all
[OL ILH\[PÄJH[PVU 0U T` VWPUPVU [OL
THE
CHANGING
FACE OF GENDER
by Priyal Dadhania & Samantha Owen
ridicule of Gavin Henson for shaving his
SLNZ^HZL_JLZZP]L^P[O[OL))*Z[H[PUN
[OH[OLºOHYKS`Ä[Z[OLZ[LYLV[`WLVM[OL
hardened Welsh rugby star’. Whether
he chose to wear a skirt, mascara or
perfume, it would have no correlation to
his talent as a rugby player.
Androgyny is gripping the high street,
straddling the divide between men
and women, laughing in the face of
KHUNLY HUK PUZ[LHK ÅPY[PUN ^P[O ISHaLYZ
waistcoats, skinny jeans and leather.
The amalgamation between Topshop
HUK ;VWTHU ;VW^VTHU HU`VUL&
has already begun. Even designers are
seemingly embracing the freedom, with
Marc Jacobs donning a female clothes
range for fashion magazine Industrie.
Of course, gender reassignment may
be different to androgyny. “The choice
[for a pre-surgery individual],” as Lea
; [VSK 0[HSPHU =HUP[` -HPY ¸PZ IL[^LLU
being unhappy forever or trying to
be happy.” And while it was Lea T’s
individual decision to alter her gender,
perhaps we should all be embracing
this ever-increasing blur between males
and females. We’ve already ditched the
social conventions that dictate that a
woman’s place is in the kitchen and the
man’s is at work. Women adjusted to
wearing trousers quickly enough. The
middle of this metaphorical gender Venn
diagram is expanding, and the prospects
are exciting.
So join me in saying hurrah to Marc
Jacobs, Lady Gaga, Lea T and all other
innovators who are bravely marching
towards a future of androgyny, where
beauty and talent is celebrated from
the inside, on its own merit and only
P[Z YLÅLJ[PVU PZ ZOVÛ VU [OL L_[LYPVY
Women: wear your crotch low and make
like Jessie J. And men? You tackled the
skinny jean, now a consideration that
ÅVYHSWYPU[PZUV[OPUN[VILHZOHTLKVM
Perhaps, just perhaps, ‘masculine’ and
‘feminine’ will become the new dirty
words of the decade.
by Eleanor Porter
19
W
hether you’ve overdone it
on alcohol during term time,
overindulged at Christmas
or snacked yourself into oblivion
during the exam period, it’s fairly
likely that you’ve come to the not-sosudden realisation that you’ve piled
on a few pounds since last summer.
Whilst some are content with their
newfound cuddliness, some will be
[Y`PUN[VÄUKKYHZ[PJ^H`Z[VNL[IHJR
into shape. Sitting in Hallward, one
is likely to overhear endless moans
and groans as people, particularly
females, remark ‘I’m having a fat day’
or ‘I look like a heifer’. It would appear
that weight fears are rife among us
students.
Issues of weight have traditionally
been linked with females, with women
increasingly idealising the image of the
super-slim, size zero cover girl often
peddled across the media. In June 2010,
the NHS reported 2579 cases of people
being admitted to hospital suffering from
an eating disorder, with young people
aged 18 or under accounting for 882
of those. This doesn’t even begin to
account for the number of people who
are likely to have dealt with bouts of
these diseases but have never ended
in hospital admission. Additionally, the
9V`HS *VSSLNL VM 7Z`JOPH[YPZ[Z Z\NNLZ[
that girls and women are ten times more
likely than boys and men to suffer from
anorexia or bulimia.
Ask yourself how many times you’ve
looked at a spread of women’s magazines
and not seen stories regarding weight
VY SVVRPUN NVVK 3HZ[ TVU[O *SVZLY
magazine shocked the public by telling
the story of 62-stone Janey Mahoney, ‘the
world’s fattest woman’, who aims to eat
herself to 90 stone. Articles mocking fat
people, along with more common pieces
VU [OL Å\J[\H[PUN ^LPNO[ VM JLSLIYP[PLZ
make women constantly question their
size and shape. Men’s magazines that
display scantily clad woman create
an ideal of what it means to be sexy
and attractive to men. With the media
perpetuating unrealistic ideals, women
struggle to match the expectations that
are being marketed, which can lead
to some dangerous attempts at losing
weight fast.
The dangers of anorexia and bulimia
have been well publicised in the last few
years, by both the government, through
schools and the NHS, and the media.
Soaps such as Hollyoaks have aimed
to illustrate how serious anorexia is and
the detrimental nature of having such
illnesses. These are extreme examples
of how young people have attempted to
lose weight, but with one in 100 women
aged 15-30 suffering with anorexia every
year, it certainly makes you question why
some facets of the media are permitted
PURSUITof
PERFECTION
in
by PRIYAL DADHANIA images by ALIX BLANKSON
20
ISSUE 210 | MAY
2011
to propagate unrealistic size 0
images, rather than highlighting
their danger.
It is also becoming more and more
common for men to question their
^LPNO[-VYL]LY`THNHaPULJV]LY
that implies that women are only
beautiful if they are skinny, there
is another that suggests that men
are only desirable if they have
bulging muscles. Is bodybuilding
for men what super-skinny is for
women? A few years ago, a study
I` [OL <UP]LYZP[` VM *VSVYHKV
showed that in the US, one out
VM Ä]L TLU ^V\SK [YHKL [OYLL [V
Ä]L `LHYZ VM [OLPY SPML [V HJOPL]L
their weight goals. When walking
into our on-campus gym, the
immediate distinction between
male and female body ideals is
obvious – more males tend to
be found in the weights section,
whilst female workouts centre on
JHYKPV]HZJ\SHY THJOPULZ -VY
many men, supplements seem
to be a ‘must have’ product for
bulking up. And worryingly, more
and more unregulated products
are becoming readily available
across the internet and in highstreet shops.
Whey protein powder supplements
are very popular amongst male
students. Aside from aiding
weight loss and encouraging
muscular enhancement, protein
supplements can help improve
skin, hair and the immune system
and are often quite rich in various
essential nutrients. With the
polished image of the ‘ideal’ male
body put out by the media and
the increase of photo uploads
on social networking sites like
-HJLIVVRÔPJOTLHUPTHNLZVM
your body being available online
24/7, it’s easy to see the product’s
appeal. But whey powder, just
like any other dietary supplement,
carries risks. The body can only
handle a certain amount of
protein, and so an abundance will
cause serious problems to the
kidneys as they struggle to break
it all down.
*YLH[PUL PZ HSZV \ZLK [V
supplement the diet of men
looking to increase their muscle
mass – it occurs naturally
within the body, but excessive
consumption can cause serious
ZPKL LMMLJ[Z *YLH[PUL JH\ZLZ
water retention in muscle tissue,
which is often misconceived as
an increase in muscle mass. What
it actually means is that other
muscle tissue is being deprived
VM [OL Å\PK P[ ULLKZ [V M\UJ[PVU
UVYTHSS` +PNLZ[P]L WYVISLTZ
can also result from the use of
creatine, ranging from vomiting
or loss of appetite through to
reduced liver function. And what’s
more worrying is that when you
eventually stop pumping your
body with extra supplements,
it will severely struggle to
undertake even the simplest
bodily functions. In extreme
cases, men turn to steroids to
help increase mass and lose fat
faster. However, excessive longterm use of anabolic steroids
can result in health problems,
including destruction of the liver,
infertility, impotency and changes
in mood.
Men are just as much under
pressure to keep up appearances
as women. In Ocean, as the
Baywatch theme tune plays, it’s
surprising to see that whilst many
men do whip off their shirts and
whirl it over their heads, many
others shy away. Why is it then
that they are unwilling to bare
ÅLZO& ;OL Y\NI` SHK VU [OLPY
left with bulging biceps or the
toned swimmer on their right is
probably enough to make anyone
ZLSMJVUZJPV\Z *HU HU` ZVY[ VM
preoccupation with the body
be healthy? A turning point in
discourse on female body image
was marked in June 2009 when
Alexandra Shulman, editor of
British Vogue, voiced concerns
in an angry letter to designers,
claiming that the size of the
clothing that they supply forces
them to use models with ‘jutting
bones’ and ‘no breasts or hips’.
With a massive student population
on campus, it is hardly surprising
that both men and women are
constantly comparing themselves
to others. These unachievable
ideals that are continually
exploited in the media mean that
body image is no longer just a
female-orientated problem; men
are just as likely to alter their
diet and lifestyle dangerously in
W\YZ\P[ VM WLYMLJ[PVU *VTIPULK
with the pressures of competing
with the many beautiful people
often seen sauntering around
University Park, it’s enough to
make anyone body conscious.
S
tephanie
oh
Impact Columnist
Haters Gonna Hate
(SVUNZPKL +HPY`SLH ;YPHUNSLZ JHY[VUZ VM <T )VUNV
HUK ;VT HUK 1LYY` MHPY` JHRLZ -YVZ[PLZ OH]L SHYNLS`
fallen out of my day-to-day diet. Unfortunately, this
is in part down to the fact that marketing characters,
such as the absolute legend that is Tony the Tiger,
just don’t do it for me anymore. It is also perhaps
K\L [V JH[JOPUN ^PUK VM ZVTL +HPS` 4HPS OLHKSPUL
proclaiming that the high sugar content in a bowl of
-YVZ[PLZ THRLZ P[ HIV\[ HZ OLHS[O` HZ ZH` º+VPUN H
3PUL VM *VRL MVY )YLHRMHZ[» 0[ TPNO[ HJ[\HSS` OH]L
ILLUº+YPURPUNH*HUVM*VRL»7SLHZLMLLSMYLL[VWPJR
the headline you feel the Mail is most likely to have
Y\U ^P[O )\[ T` KLJPZPVU UV[ [V VW[ MVY H IV^S VM
sugar encrusted cereal might now be made on ethical
NYV\UKZ)LJH\ZL-YVZ[PLZY\PUZSP]LZ
The life in question is that of a South African teenager
called Sven, who for his own safety can only be known
W\ISPJSÌÒPZÄYZ[UHTL0M`V\OH]LU»[`L[[^PNNLK
who I’m referring to, I would like to point out that so
LU[O\ZLKPZ:]LUI`-YVZ[PLZ[OH[OLOHZILLURUVÛ
to take to the streets, wildly attesting the merits of his
preferred breakfast option. In other words: “They’re
gonna taste great”. Yes, Sven is otherwise known as
-YVZ[PLZ2PK[OLZ[HYVM[OVZLYH[OLYPYYP[H[PUNHK]LY[Z
Who would have known that an over-animated zest
for cereal could have aroused the kind of rage usually
reserved for mass murderers or disgraced members
of the Big Brother house? Released in 2006, the ads
promptly inspired a nationwide campaign of hate,
with characteristically reactionary internet users
threatening to kill, torture, and maim poor Sven.
And whilst on the subject of hate and cereal – two
concepts which apparently go hand in hand more
often than I had previously thought – let us now
[\YU [V H TVYL JVU[LTWVYHY` ÄN\YL VM OH[L ÔVZL
early morning priorities means that she has simply
“gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal”. Indeed
the sentiment rings true for many, but only Rebecca
Black dared to enshrine it in song. The sheer inanity of
such lyrics, alongside a vapid tween-pop image and
ropey production values have managed to provoke
an international shit-storm of outrage that has been
splattering all over Black’s wholesome American face
L]LYZPUJLº-YPKH`»^LU[]PYHS
A wise philosopher once pronounced “Haters
gonna hate”. But before we start calling out for the
HZZHZZPUH[PVU VM -YVZ[PLZ 2PK 9LILJJH )SHJR 1\Z[PU
Bieber, et al, it would perhaps be a good idea to
recognise that such hatred is perhaps not quite
HZ Q\Z[PÄLK HZ P[ TPNO[ IL PM KPYLJ[LK [V^HYKZ [OL
Hitlers, Maos, and Stalins of the world. Whilst it is
OK to express our irritation at auto-tuned teenagers
who prance about singing soulless bollocks, on the
ÔVSLP[PZWYVIHISÌLZ[UV[[VM\LS[OLÄYLHUKPUJP[L
unwarranted hate crimes. After all, we ought to leave
[OH[[V[OL+HPS`4HPS
21
radical alte
change, me
transformat
innovation,
the
reorganizat
Age
restructurin
Revolution
shake-up, s
O
n 17th December 2010, in
the small rural town of Sidi
Bouzid, Tunisia, a street
vendor
named
Mohamed
)V\HaPaP ZL[ ÄYL [V OPTZLSM 0[ ^HZ
HU HJ[ VM KLÄHUJL HUK KLZWHPY H[ OPZ
poverty, his government’s corruption,
his humiliation at the hands of the
municipal police, and was to become
the catalyst for what is already being
referred to as the Arab Revolution.
After generations of oppressive and
autocratic governments in the Middle
East and beyond, and years of apathy
and helpless cynicism at the Recession
and incompetent governments in the
>LZ[ ^L HYL ÄUHSS` LU[LYPUN H UL^
era: an age of revolution.
After Bouazizi’s act, protests erupted all
over Tunisia, and after weeks of unrest
and pressure, President Zine El Abidine
)LU (SP ÅLK [OL JV\U[Y` ^P[O OPZ MHTPS`
on 14th January 2011 after 23 years in
power. Tunisians rejoiced and the world
was stunned: the people had fought the
government, and the people had won.
Elsewhere in North Africa, other nations
under despotic governments were
stirred and inspired, while the despots
themselves shifted warily in their thrones.
In Egypt, dissent was growing at the
President of 30 years, Hosni Mubarak, as
well as at the high rate of unemployment,
lack of freedom of speech, corruption,
PUÅH[PVU WVSPJL IY\[HSP[` HUK JV\U[SLZZ
other social and political problems.
7YV[LZ[Z VYNHUPZLK [OYV\NO -HJLIVVR
and Twitter snowballed into revolts, and
VU [O -LIY\HY` 4\IHYHR VMÄJPHSS`
stepped down.
Suddenly, in a matter of weeks, the Arab
world was ablaze with revolution and
P[Z WLVWSL ^LYL ÄNO[PUN MVY KLTVJYHJ`
World leaders, media organisations and
ordinary people from all four corners of
the globe watched on in wonder at the
progression of events that unfolded daily.
The people’s revolution spread almost
virally, from Jordan, whose King Abdullah
II has sworn in a new cabinet and
replaced his prime minister after violent
JSHZOLZIL[^LLUWYV[LZ[LYZVU[O-LI
to Yemen, whose President of 32 years,
Ali Abdullah Saleh, announced on 2nd
-LIY\HY`[OH[OL^V\SKUV[ZLLRHUV[OLY
[LYT PU VMÄJL HM[LY ]PVSLU[ WYV[LZ[Z HUK
many deaths. There have also been
protests in countries right across the
Middle East and North Africa including
Saudi Arabia, Syria, Oman, Bahrain and
Algeria, and there is no indication of
when they will abate.
3PI`H»ZJVUÅPJ[OHZZVMHYILLU[OLTVZ[
OF
22
ISSUE 210 | MAY
2011
bloody because its infamous dictator,
*VS .HKKHÄ YLM\ZLZ [V Z[LW KVÛ
despite international pressure to do
ZV ZH`PUN [OH[ OL ^PSS ¸ÄNO[ [V [OL SHZ[
man and woman”. Within a month of
the start of Libyan protests, there were
over a thousand dead and countless
PUQ\YLK¶.HKKHÄOHZ\ZLK[YVVWZ[HURZ
bombs and even air strikes on his own
people. Whatever the outcome of the
Libya Revolt, however, the people have
HJOPL]LK [OL \UHJOPL]HISL +Y (KHT
Morton, from the University’s School
of Politics and International Relations,
notes that “the so-called ‘state of the
masses’ – or al-Jamahiriya, as Libya has
ILLUL\SVNPZ[PJHSS`[LYTLK\UKLY*VSVULS
.HKKHÄ»Z Y\SL ¶ PZ UV^ HM[LY `LHYZ
experiencing a social uprising by the
Libyan people over whom the state once
ruled with no regard for human rights”.
The Arab Revolts are clearly historical,
but how have they been so successful,
and why have they arisen now? All of
the aforementioned country’s rulers,
regardless of their individual political
ideologies, are inherently corrupt. These
leaders are all harming their citizens in
various ways and in varying degrees:
through economic greed, lack of free
speech in the heavy censuring of media,
or through violence and torture such as
the ‘barrier of fear’ in Libya. This ‘barrier
of fear’ is what the Arabic despots relied
on for so long to keep their people in
check: if the public are scared, then they
will never collectively be able to rise up
against oppression. The ignorance of
the public also plays a critical role in
a despot’s power, which is controlled
[OYV\NO PUZ\MÄJPLU[ LK\JH[PVU H Z[H[L
run media and minimal contact with the
rest of the world. The reason why the
revolutions are occurring now is because
of the seismic shift in the demographics
of the Arab world which has completely
transformed both the barrier of fear and
national ignorance.
;OL(YHI/\THU+L]LSVWTLU[9LWVY[VM
H<5WYVQLJ[YLWVY[Z[OH[V\[VM[OL
360 million Arabs in the world, the median
by Sian Boyle
eration, sea
etamorphos
ation,
,
tion,
ng; informa
shakedown.
age is 22, nearly 60% live in urban areas
and 65m Arabs live below the poverty line
\UKLYHUKPUJS\KPUNHKH`/V^L]LY
the literacy rate in the majority of the
countries experiencing unrest is in the 7090% bracket, with some countries, such
as Jordan, boasting a 92% literacy rating.
What we have here then is a generation
of people across the North Africa and
Middle East region who are young,
urbanised, poor and, most importantly,
intelligent. And as their despots grow
older and richer, this ticking time bomb
of revolution seems somewhat inevitable.
Obviously, in the UK, thanks to the
democratic society in which we live,
we don’t have the need to oust entire
governments through marches and
revolutions. However, it could be said
that the 2010 student protests against
the tuition-fee rise was revolutionary
because it marked an end to student
apathy and a new era of activism. On
the 10th November 2010, 50,000 people
marched through London, the largest
student demonstration since 1998, and
marked the beginning of a series of
protests, rallies and occupations held in
various locations around the country.
Throughout Europe there has been
growing dissent and protests about
government
austerity
measures,
especially in countries such as Ireland,
)LSNP\T [OL *aLJO 9LW\ISPJ 7VY[\NHS
HUKUV[VYPV\ZS`-YHUJLÔLYL[OLJV\U[Y`
ground to a halt after a series of strikes
and protests about pension reform. Just
as Tunisia’s revolution had a domino
effect throughout its region, in Europe,
various nationalities are emulating one
another in protesting for change.
None of the recent protests would have
occurred had it not been for the very real
and literal technological revolution of the
past two decades. Among others, the
Egyptian, Tunisian and British student
WYV[LZ[Z^LYLHSSVYNHUPZLKVU-HJLIVVR
and other social networking sites, and
the internet has been said by some to
‘revolutionised the revolution’. Social
media has made the organisation and
mobilisation of large groups of people
PUÄUP[LS` LHZPLY [OHU PU [OL WYLPU[LYUL[
era, and real-time media such as Twitter
sustains momentum and media attention.
This new technological revolution
has already seen power shift from
conventional authorities to individual
people who possess technological
knowledge – the most relevant example
being the Wikileaks’ exposure of the U.S.
government cables.
+VLZ WYV[LZ[PUN ^VYR& 6I]PV\ZS` [OL
answers vary. Here in the UK, politicians
did not meet the demands of the tuitionMLL YPZL VWWVZP[PVU VM ÔPJO Z[\KLU[Z
HYL IP[[LYS` H^HYL I\[ Z[PSS WYV[LZ[LYZ
took the opportunity exercising their
freedom of speech and express
discontent. Ultimately, a once-apathetic
HUK KPZLUJOHU[LK NLULYH[PVU OHZ ÄUHSS`
found its voice. And in the Middle East
and North Africa, the protests have led
to landmark revolutions and a new era of
democracy.
We are in an unprecedented age where,
MVY[OLÄYZ[[PTL[OLºSP[[SLN\`Z»JHU[HRL
the power – whether it’s a few internet
whizzes debilitating a whole government,
students putting immense pressure on
their leaders for political reform, or citizens
of whole nations breaking a long-imposed
barrier of fear. The underdogs are striking
V\[ HUK PU WSHJLZ +H]PK PZ [Y\TWPUN
Goliath. This age of revolution is a result
of a new, globalised, technologically
savvy generation of people - people who
care about the world in which they live
and believe they can change it.
23
Lovejoy, Josh Fraser,
On The Prowl by Stephen
Justine Gold & Lois Field
Images by
Stephen Lovejoy & Frances Kirk
ATTENTION!
Are you a dashing young hound, but somehow unable to catch a foxy feline? Or are you a black widow
who can’t draw in any males to sink your teeth into? Getting screwed over rather than screwed? LOOK
NO FURTHER! Here at Impact we’ve been investigating the intriguing art of seduction, and we have
compiled the
ONLY LIST YOU’LL EVER NEED!*
(Note: All advice gathered from self-certified ladies-men and temptresses. However, Impact
cannot be held responsible for any physical and/or mental abuse suffered as the result of
following the advice on these pages.)
Captivating Queen
STEP 1: Grooming
All men are shallow. They don’t care for personality, only
appearance. Therefore take some solid advice from Matilda’s
mother and “choose looks over books”. This is particularly
important before a night out – regardless of current course
workload, a minimum of 3 hours should be spent on appearance.
Make sure that you achieve the right balance between whorish
HUK MYPNPK IVVIZ ZOV\SK YLHJO M\SS JSLH]HNL WV[LU[PHS
REMEMBER: To emphasise your ‘natural beauty’, the following
are essential: moisturiser, foundation, powder, bronzer, blusher,
concealer, highlighter, eyeliner, mascara, lip liner, lipstick and
maybe some fake eyelashes too.
TIGER:
(JVUÄKLU[HUKZ\JJLZZM\SO\U[LYOPZWYLMLYYLKNYV\UKZHYL[OL
bar, smoking area or taxi queue. Provided he’s fully matured, he
will engage you with witty repartee.
STEP 3: The allure
Once you become aware of the presence of an appealing mate,
discreetly enlist one of the females in your pack to assist you
in garnering his attention. Her role is to laugh at your jokes
and create the aura that you are the life and soul of the party.
Orientate her carefully, so that the male is visible just over her
shoulder, allowing you to casually initiate eye contact. Here
you utilise your well-practiced sex-eyes, unless he seems
particularly timid – in which case deer-in-the-headlight-eyes are
more appropriate. After 5–10 minutes of eye-foreplay, the male
will approach. Act completely surprised.
STEP 2: Surveillance of grounds STEP 4: Ensnare
There are three dominant male species found within night-clubs:
BABOON:
Pretty easy to distinguish, you will feel this rampant grinder
pressed up against your back before you even see his face.
A disapproving look will not faze this aggressively physical
predator; instead you will need to ricochet his attention onto
another female.
VULTURE:
SUCCESS!
Working in a group, these scavengers will circle your party
hoping to pick off one of the weaker members, or wait until
alcohol abuse has lowered your inhibitions to the point where
you’re willing to be his leftovers.
24
ISSUE 210 | MAY
In order to retain the male’s interest, you must appear as uncaring
and nonchalant as possible. He must remain completely
ignorant of all the planning and preparation undertaken. When
`V\YU\TILYPZÄUHSS`YLX\LZ[LKZLLTUVUWLYWSL_LKHUK^HP[
H[SLHZ[ZLJVUKZILMVYLHMÄYTPUN^P[OTH_PT\TOLZP[H[PVUHSS
ÔPSZ[Z\Z[HPUPUNZTPSLWV\[HUKILKYVVTL`LZ-PUHSS`SLHUPU
for a lingering cheek-peck that is dangerously close to his lips,
before strutting away from him with maximised bum-swagger
and without looking back. NOTE: Effect is ruined if there is loorool attached to your heel.
2011
You should receive text from him the next day and after waiting
a minimum of 30 minutes and replying, you’re on an easy path
to plenty of satisfying sexual relations, happy marriage and
adorable babies.
Master of the Hunt
STEP 1: Know thy enemy
STEP 3: The hunt
All women are cruel. Every man in the world has been screwed
V]LY JOLH[LK VU VY PUZ\S[LK [V OPZ MHJL UV SLZZ I` ^VTLU
H[SLHZ[VUJLPUOPZSPML-HJ[;OPZ[OLYLMVYLTHRLZP[WLYMLJ[S`
acceptable to, in turn, rectify the gendered imbalance of justice
by sleeping with as many women as possible. There are three
types of women in this world:
As soon as you see a girl you like, you should be talking to
OLYPUH[SLHZ[ZLJVUKZ,]LUPMZOL»ZVU[OLV[OLYZPKLVM[OL
KHUJLÅVVY+HZOV]LY[OLYLHUKZOL»SSILPTWYLZZLKI``V\Y
JVUÄKLUJLHUKKLJPZP]LULZZHUK^PSSWH[PLU[S`^HP[MVY`V\[V
regain your breath.
COW:
There are plenty of these less-than-graceful available creatures.
They throw themselves around, are willing to be led along by
even the worst hunters and are not too impressive a catch.
DEER:
These gorgeous creatures are both beautiful and graceful.
/V^L]LY[OL`HYL]LY`X\PJRHUKT\Z[ILÄYZ[LU[PJLK^P[OIHP[
before one can succeed in a catch.
MOOSE:
5V[ [VV KPZ[PUJ[ MYVT KLLY I\[ [OL` OH]L OVYUZ HUK HYL [V[HS
IP[JOLZ
STEP 2: Take to arms
-PYZ[SÌLJVTLYLSH_LKHUKJVUÄKLU[,]LY`NPYSPZQ\KNPUN`V\
on your value, thus you must be well aware of your own worth
UV WYLZZ\YL )L ZLSMJVUÄKLU[ ]LYNPUN VU ZSPNO[S` HYYVNHU[
-VY[PWZ^H[JO[OLPUMHTV\Z6SK:WPJLHK]LY[Z56;,!KVUV[
YLZVY[ [V HSJVOVS [V HJOPL]L [OPZ Z[H[L VM JVUÄKLU[ YLSH_H[PVU
Apparently, for some reason, intelligent and beautiful women
HYLUV[PU[LYLZ[LKPUZ[\TISPUNZTLSS`KY\URHYKZ^P[OÅLJRZVM
vomit on their shirt.
Next, enlist a wingman from your pack-brothers. It must be
someone loyal, whom you know won’t try and snatch your
target. If you have no loyal friends, just choose the ugliest. By
comparison, he’ll make you look more attractive. The aim of
the wingman is to give the appearance that you’re just coolly
hanging out with a mate, preventing any prey from cottoning on
to your true motives.
Once conversation has begun, remember to actually listen to
ÔH[ZOL»ZZH`PUNVYH[SLHZ[WYL[LUK[VSPZ[LU¶UVKKPUNHUK
THRPUN HMÄYTH[P]L UVPZLZ NP]LZ HU PSS\ZPVU VM HJ[\HS SPZ[LUPUN
Build her comfort with you by touching her every now and then
PUZVJPHSS`HJJLW[HISLWSHJLZZ\JOHZ[OLZOV\SKLY*VUZ[HU[S`
put her down and make her feel self-conscious, but in a halfjoking way so that she doesn’t think you’re a dick. A classic line
is: “Aww, your nose wiggles when you talk, it’s really cute”. The
more insecure she feels, the likelier it is that she’ll sleep with
you. NOTE: When in conversation women prefer men to look at
their eyes rather than their breasts.
STEP 4: The finish
If things are going well and you’re think you’re ‘well in’, perhaps
[HRL[OPUNZ[V[OLUL_[SL]LS0M`V\^HU[[VRPZZOLYHZR!¸+V
you want to kiss me?” If she says yes, proceed to the kissing.
If she says no, to protect your honour, pretend that you were
never really interested in her, and make a sharp remark about
how her breath smells terrible anyway. The other surrounding
women will be impressed by your nonchalance and quick wit.
/V^L]LYPM`V\^HU[[VOH]LZL_KVU»[HZR!¸+V`V\^HU[[V
have sex with me?” Instead fashion a crafty excuse for her
[V JVTL IHJR [V `V\YZ -VY L_HTWSL HZR PM ZOL ^V\SK SPRL [V
PUK\SNLPUHNHTLVM*S\LKVVY^H[JOHYLHSS`M\UU`]PKLVVU
@V\[\IL+YVWWPUNOLYVMMH[OVTLHUKWSLHKPUN[V\ZL[OL[VPSL[
occasionally achieves success too. It’s the gentleman’s way.
SUCCESS!
+VU»[MVYNL[[V[L_[HSS`V\YMYPLUKZHM[LY[OLUPNO[VMWHZZPVU[V
regale them with details of the glorious hunt.
*
Not 100% guaranteed. Only applies to lists of seduction techniques, other lists (for
example, shopping lists, travel itineraries etc) are not included in this claim. Impact
cannot be held responsible if reader requires other lists of seduction techniques.
25
Past and Present
IMPACT INTERVIEWS TWO CABINET MINISTERS
S
ince last issue, Impact has
been fortunate enough to
interview
former
Home
Secretary Jacqui Smith and current
Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke.
With Smith admitting that she might
UL]LY YLJV]LY MYVT [OL ÄHZJV PU
which she claimed two pornographic
ÄSTZ W\YJOHZLK I` OLY O\ZIHUK VU
expenses, and Clarke talking of his
“surprise” at the continued survival
of the coalition, there was certainly
much to discuss. Clarke was visiting
the University as part of the School
of Politics guest speaker series,
and Smith’s visit was a joint venture
between the School of Politics and the
Students’ Union ‘Forum’, which had
previously welcomed speakers such
as Sky News’ Jeff Randall and ViceChancellor David Greenaway.
There is certainly some common ground
between them; both are very sceptical of
[OL3PILYHS+LTVJYH[Z»M\[\YLWYVZWLJ[Z!
“It’s the end of the line for the Liberal
+LTVJYH[Z¹ ZHPK :TP[O ¸I\[ 0 KVU»[
think they had any alternative but to
go into [coalition]… people like Vince
*HISL OH]L HSTVZ[ ILLU JY\ZOLK I`
government. Arguably they should have
not conceded what they did on higher
education, because that’s toxic, for Nick
*SLNN PU WHY[PJ\SHY¹ :PTPSHYS` *SHYRL
argued that “it’s inescapable that the
bulk of the present coalition’s policies
HYL *VUZLY]H[P]L [OL SLHKPUN ÄN\YLZ
HYL *VUZLY]H[P]L HWHY[ MYVT 5PJR HUK
they have taken on board an essentially
*VUZLY]H[P]L HNLUKH PU X\P[L H SV[ VM
policy areas.”
/L HKKLK [OH[ [OL 3PILYHS +LTVJYH[Z
needed to prove that they were a party
capable of governing, as “they have
hitherto been a party purely of protest,
their main appeal has been to whichever
bigger party’s supporters are most
discontented at any given time.”
That said, Ken still isn’t too happy
that European politics are still not on
the agenda for the foreseeable future,
suggesting that the three major parties
have “colluded” in keeping the EU off
the table. He is almost certainly the
most famous Europhile in a broadly
Eurosceptic party, a factor which he
believes was crucial in preventing him
from becoming the leader of the party
26
ISSUE 210 | MAY
2011
in all three leadership contests he has
entered. “Had my views on Europe not
been so notorious, I can’t believe I would
have lost all three,” he claimed, “indeed
I don’t think I would have lost any of
them!”
As for Jacqui Smith, perhaps one of the
most prominent battles of her tenure as
Home Secretary was over the length of
time which terror suspects could be held
for without being charged for a crime.
Smith succeeded in passing 42-days
[OYV\NO [OL /V\ZL VM *VTTVUZ [OPZ
SPTP[ ^HZ SH[LY KYVWWLK HUK X\LZ[PVUZ
were raised as to the potential damage
this could do to civil liberties. “Because
of the nature of the threat – mass
casualties, no warning – these will likely
be plots which are hopefully interrupted
before they come to fruition”, she said.
By trying to prevent such a large-scale
catastrophe before it happened, she
said, it was inevitable that less evidence
would be acquired before an arrest than
would normally be the case.
This is certainly not compatible with
)LUQHTPU -YHURSPU»Z MHTV\Z X\V[L
VU ZHJYPÄJPUN SPILY[` PU VYKLY [V NHPU
security but then, according to Smith, “In
opposition it’s easy to talk in generalities
and broad principles. When you’re faced
with both the responsibility of protecting
people and a detailed understanding
about the potential nature of some of the
plots that you might be dealing with, you
change your view.”
Smith is also a well-known campaigner
on the issue of women in politics, having
entered Parliament on an all-women
ZOVY[SPZ[HUKILPUNJOVZLU[VIL[OLÄYZ[
female Home Secretary. “Not enough”
has been done, she says, to involve
women in Westminster. Women make up
V\[ VM L]LY` 47Z HUK [OPZ ÄN\YL PZ
not high enough for the former MP for
Redditch. “I don’t want to see a team
that only has half the population in it”,
she said, adding, “To have a political
elite that looks very different from what
my street or workplace looks like is a bad
thing.”
:TP[O ^HZ [OL OPNOLZ[ WYVÄSL 3HIV\Y
casualty of the 2010 election, with many
putting her defeat down to the expenses
ÄHZJV ÔPJO OHZ ZLLU MVYTLY 47Z PU
prison for illegal claims. Not so, says
Smith: “My swing was large, but others
– with no expenses scandals around
them – had larger.” That said, “In all my
time I had the most marginal seat in the
cabinet, so I was always going to lose. If
I had kept my seat it would have been a
miracle.”
For more of both interviews, including
questions on Jacqui’s run-in with the
world of pornography and more of Ken’s
views on the Liberal Democrats, search
for ‘Jacqui Smith’ and ‘Kenneth Clarke’
on www.impactnottingham.com.
T
heir number appears higher on
your ‘frequently dialled’ list than
your boyfriend’s, you’ve spent
more on them in the last three years
than you have food, you’ve cursed
them when they’re late, serenaded
[OLTÔLU`V\»YLTLYY`HUKJVUÄKLK
in them your entire, tragic, relationship
history on the way home from Ocean.
Yep, to the average student, your taxi
KYP]LYPZVMMHYNYLH[LYPTWVY[HUJLHUK
]HZ[S`TVYL\ZL[OHU`V\YILZ[MYPLUK
But recently it seems as though the taxi
driver’s worst nightmare has become
something far more sinister than
the occasional chunder in the back
seat. Violent attacks on taxi drivers
have been hitting the Nottingham
headlines extremely often in the last
year, begging the question: is this an
increasing trend?
In July of last year, two men threatened
a taxi driver in Hyson Green,
demanding money and his car keys. In
+LJLTILYHUV[OLYKYP]LY^HZZ[HIILK
and robbed by a group of men in St.
Ann’s. The Nottingham newspapers
are littered with reports of drunken
ÄNO[Z HUK [OYLH[LUPUN ILOH]PV\Y
towards drivers - and these are only
the ones that make the papers.
Arguments and refusals to pay the
fare must be a regular occurrence in a
driver’s working day.
More sinister than this, there have
been several incidents over the past
few years where taxi drivers have
been targeted specially, being forced
to drive to obscure locations before
being robbed or, in an extreme case
from September 2009, murdered.
In reference to an attack on a taxi
KYP]LY SHZ[ `LHY 7L[LY 1V`JL 8*
commented,
“Taxi
drivers
are
particularly vulnerable.” This is easily
understandable; a profession involving
driving alone late at night, travelling to
every corner of the city with complete
strangers, of whom a high percentage
will have been drinking, can hardly be
described as risk-free.
IMAGE BY HELEN MILLER
BY JENNIFER NEWBOLD
TAKEN FOR A RIDE
In response to the mounting numbers
of attacks, many city companies have
put more security measures in place for
their drivers. The government advises
use of a GPS system, and some cars
have a silent panic button drivers can
WYLZZPUHULTLYNLUJ`+.JHYZHYLH
company especially concerned with
safety measures. A spokesperson told
Impact that all drivers are advised that
they do not need to wear a seatbelt
as it can be used against them by the
passenger and prevent them getting
out of the car quickly in an emergency.
The risks of this therefore clearly
outweigh the risks of being injured in
a crash, which is rather worrying. They
OH]L HSZV PUZ[HSSLK **;= Z`Z[LTZ" HSS
JHYZ OH]L JVUZ[HU[ **;= ÔPJO JHU
only be viewed by the police after an
incident – they seem to be the only
company in Nottingham that employs
this system.
;OL PKLH VM ILPUN JVU[PU\V\ZS` ÄSTLK
in the back of a cab holds the element
of invasion of privacy, but chatting
to students around campus, for the
most part I received the opposite
response. People seem to like the idea
VM PTWSLTLU[PUN **;= 6UL Z[\KLU[
I spoke to explained that she would
never take a cab alone late at night,
but if she knew both she and the driver
^LYLVUÄSTZOL^V\SKMLLST\JOZHMLY
We all know the rules about safety
when taking a cab home, and these
HYL KLÄUP[LS` NYV\UKLK PU JVTTVU
sense, as there is also a steady stream
of stories about violence towards
passengers in the news. But as
vulnerable as a solitary passenger may
be in a taxicab, the driver is equally
exposed. In view of the consistent
abuse and violence towards drivers,
companies often have tighter security
measures than we are aware of, and
P[ ^V\SKU»[ IL Z\YWYPZPUN PM TVYL ÄYTZ
ILNPU[VPUZ[HSS**;=JHTLYHZPU[OLPY
cabs. Given that we couldn’t cope
without them, next time you’re on
your merry way to a night out, try not
to be the passenger from hell. And if
do happen to pick a car with a camera
in, you may want to watch what you’re
getting up to in the back seat…
27
Grow Up 15
A 148
Don’t Bother
Go Home
A 148
4
4
Home Straight
GROWING UP TOO SOON, OR NOT AT ALL?
by Lucy Kenderdine
T
he media is often full of news articles and comment
pieces surrounding the issue of children growing up
too fast in modern society, losing their innocence
and youth in an attempt to mature before they really should.
However with the recent economic downturn, changing
parenting styles and the increasing draw of home comforts
JVTWHYLK[VNYV[[`ÅH[ZOHYPUN^P[OMYPLUKZP[HWWLHYZ[OH[
we are experiencing a rise in the number of ‘boomerang
children’. Many ‘adults’ are now returning to the parental
nest after university or a failed attempt at living in the ‘adult
world’ alone. It may be that society is not forcing us to grow
up too soon, but rather not allowing us to grow up at all.
This is not to say that the old argument of teenagers, in
particular young girls attempting to emulate their adult
counterparts too early in life, has gone away. Parents often
remember far more innocent past times than reading sex
advice columns in magazines or practicing their Britain’s
Next Top Model pose in the mirror as many girls appear
to do now. Pictures of young women wearing thick layers
VM THRL\W HUK SP[[SL JSV[OPUN ÄSS WHNLZ VM THNHaPULZ
alongside statistics of underage pregnancy, drug use and
apathy in an attempt to show how our society has forced
these girls to enter adulthood early.
28
Shows such as Skins and Gossip Girl are blamed for
the glamorisation of sex and drugs, targeting teenagers
rather than adults old enough to understand the serious
emotional implications behind the shows’ exciting and
often dangerous issues. Skins has even been labeled ‘the
most dangerous children’s television show ever’ by the
7HYLU[Z ;LSL]PZPVU *V\UJPS HM[LY [OL <: WYLTPLY LHYSPLY PU
the year. So TV is seen to promote underage sex, as are
L_WSPJP[ S`YPJZ PU WVW\SHY ZVUNZ 9POHUUH»Z º:4» PZ [OL
latest song to exploit adult themes and has therefore had a
similar response with 11 countries banning the song from
HPYWSH`V\YVÛ9HKPV6UL^V\SKH[ÄYZ[UV[WSH`[OLZVUN
ISSUE 210 | MAY
2011
ILMVYL WT VU HJJV\U[ VM ILPUN \UZ\P[HISL MVY [OL [LLU
H\KPLUJLZ (SS [OLZL TLKPH PUÅ\LUJLZ OH]L ILLU ISHTLK
for the willingness of teenagers to experiment with the
adult content they see everyday.
So whilst the media is apparently forcing us to grow up
too soon, the rest of society, in particular the way our
parents raise us, is arguably not helping us to grow up at
all. The recent rise in this ‘boomeranging’ trend has been
blamed on the economic crisis of recent years, with high
unemployment leaving many forced to return to the family
unit. It has been further suggested that once in their family
OVTL HK\S[Z ºYLNYLZZ» [V JOPSKOVVK \U^PSSPUN VY \UHISL
to do basic household tasks such as cooking, cleaning or
IHSHUJPUNHI\KNL[-\Y[OLYL]PKLUJLWVPU[Z[V[OLHYN\TLU[
that many were simply not taught these skills as a child, as
WHYLU[Z WSHJL TVYL LTWOHZPZ VU HJHKLTPJ X\HSPÄJH[PVUZ
rather than simple survival skills – in a recent survey by GfK
National Opinion Polls, one in ten men admitted that they
do not know how to boil an egg.
So where does this leave us? We’ve come a long way since
children were expected to undertake manual work and get
THYYPLKH[H`V\UNHNL\USLZZ`V\»YLHWWLHYPUNVU)PN-H[
.`WZ`>LKKPUNZVMJV\YZLI\[HYL^LUV^H[[OLZ[HNL
where we are simply picking and choosing the aspects of
adulthood we wish to subscribe too? Many reading this will
be expecting to graduate this summer, and it seems that
ZJVYLZVMWLVWSL^PSSOH]L[VYLS`VUWHYLU[Z[VÄUHUJPHSS`
support them for forthcoming years. What could emerge
is a generation not only incapable of living as adults in
terms of basic skills, but also increasingly hungry for the
more interesting or fun social aspects of being an adult as
depicted by the media. Whether mummy and daddy will
approve of all this ‘sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll’ occurring
under their roof is another story entirely.
In an Special Extended Spleen-Vent, Felicity BrownSHTLU[Z[OLTHUULYZHUK
WHY[PJ\SHYS`[OLLH[PUNOHIP[ZVMOLYMLSSV^Z[\KLU[ZPU
Felicity Brown
VENTS
HER
SPLEEN
NO MARKS FOR
ON
T
he shining beacon that
attracts many to campus
life is the prospect of
being far away from our parents’
watchful eyes. At university, you
can stay up as long as you like,
drink what you like, say what you
like, bring home who you like... the
possibilities are endless! But has
this ultimate freedom become an
excuse to go astray and forget the
most basic manners our parents
have instilled in us from birth?
The time we spend at university is in
many senses a stage of maturation; most
of us learn how to cook, clean, shop
and think for ourselves. But in terms of
manners, politeness and grace, many of
us seem to be going down a backwards
track. In some cases, anyone would think
we were toddlers again; especially those
males who cannot hold their bladders
long enough to make a trip to the toilet
and thus proceed to urinate in their own
sinks. With all due respect, and not
wanting to sound like your old primary
school teacher, would you do that at
home?
*HTW\Z SPML PZ SPRL ILPUN H[ IVHYKPUN
ZJOVVS -YLZOLYZ JVUNYLNH[L L]LY`
mealtime Hogwarts-style in the dining
halls, but the difference is that there are
no Professor Snapes around to threaten
us with detention if messy eating
becomes ridiculous. The result is that
many students transform into something
akin to feral children. Table manners
clearly differ from family to family, so
each person’s eating habits are going
to be different. My parents have always
been adamant about enforcing ‘proper’
MANNERS
table manners, but away from their
watchful eyes I can now revel in the glory
of slouching, slurping and eating without
using a knife.
Student manners are also a big issue
outside of halls. Loud music and a
nocturnal lifestyle leave many house
owners peeved when students move in
next door. A few years back, the Guardian
reported that Edinburgh University
Students Association had even produced
an ‘etiquette guide’, including tips on
how to keep the house tidy and avoid
rodent invasion in an attempt to keep the
neighbourhood peace.
But it’s not just the neighbours who
have suffered at the hand of bad student
manners. Everyone has heard of the
horror stories that arise from having
rude and slobby housemates, and a
website has been created in dedication
[V [OLZL ÄLUKZ /V\ZLTH[LZMYVTOLSS
com is a blog where victims can share
HYHU[^P[OHÄLSKVMV[OLYZPU[OLZHTL
position. Someone has come up with a
list of etiquette rules including ‘picking
`V\YIH[O[V^LSHUKJSV[OLZVMM[OLÅVVY»
and ‘not using your housemates’ stuff’,
no matter if it’s only a ‘pea-sized portion
of toothpaste’, the latter of which is
probably a little excessive.
But on one particularly revolting blog
UHTLK/V^[V3VZL-YPLUKZHUK(SPLUH[L
-SH[TH[LZ H Z[\KLU[ [HSRZ VM H NPYS ÔV
‘never ever did anything’. Her other
housemates had to break into her room
and open the window, as the room had
begun to smell ‘like gone off cheese’.
They also discovered used condoms on
[OLÅVVYHUKZOLL[Z[OH[SVVRLKSPRL[OL`
OHKU»[ ILLU ^HZOLK PU H `LHY *SLHYS`
some students like to bask in their own
ÄS[O
But what if all this rudeness and
ÄS[OPULZZ OHZ ZLYPV\Z YLWLYJ\ZZPVUZ&
In the workplace, any such behaviour
would not be tolerated. Who wants an
employee who swears left, right and
centre, leaves rubbish everywhere, eats
like they have been reared by a pack of
wolves and relieves themselves out of
[OLVMÄJL^PUKV^&4HÌL^LZOV\SKHSS
think about ways in which our etiquette
needs shaping up a bit before we head to
those all-important job interviews.
What would our mothers do? Well, if
they could see the slovenly late-night
appearances or shabby living conditions
of many of us, their stomachs would
probably churn in disgust. But at the
end of the day, isn’t being a university
student all about the long, winding
path of self-discovery and newfound
independence? Shouldn’t we slowly
but surely be learning for ourselves
that growing a funghi-community on a
ISVJR VM JOLLZL ÅPWWHU[S` \ZPUN V[OLY
people’s toothbrushes or waking up next
to a stranger dressed in a disconcerting
‘Incredibles’ costume is not acceptable
behaviour for the real, adult world? We
can no longer look to our mothers for
support and guidance on such matters;
for all of us, there will come the day
when revelation dawns, we realise that
urinating and throwing up everywhere
PZ NLULYHSS` JVUZPKLYLK WYL+HY^PUPHU
and we ditch our childish, irresponsible
ways. Until then, maybe we should feign
ignorance and enjoy the ride.
29
REVISION
HOW DO YOU DO YOURS?
It has got around to that
time of year again when the
dreaded exam and deadline
period begins. Exam stress
experienced by students is
arguably the biggest welfare
issue of the academic
year: feedback from the
º)PN 9L]PL^» H Z\Y]L`
conducted by the Students’
Union in March 2010 and
JVTWSL[LKI`Z[\KLU[Z
showed the top two daily
concerns of Nottingham’s
students to be academic
achievement and workload.
In addition to this, a small
survey of about 50 students
What word best describes how
you feel during exams?
Nervous
A
Worried
B
Focused
C
Stressed
B
Nauseas
B
Tired
A
What aspect of revision and exams
make you feel predominantly this
way?
30
I have done the best that I can
C
I think I may fail
B
The work load is too much for me
B
I have had little sleep
A
I am driven to revise so I do the best I can
C
I cannot stop procrastinating
A
I have had no time for myself or to socialise
A
I have done all the revision and work I aimed
to do
C
I have had a lot of caffeine
A
Choose one statement that best
describes your revision style?
I always plan a revision timetable and stick to
that
C
I cram in as much as possible: when it is
exam period revision all I really do
B
I work with friends as much as possible and
always work in the library with others
A
I work alone in silence
B
I work late into the night
A
I cannot stop procrastinating
A
I have had no time for myself or to socialise
A
I have done all the revision and work I aimed
to do
C
I have had a lot of caffeine
A
ISSUE 210 | MAY
2011
conducted by the Union
last month found that 64%
of those asked admitted to
feeling increasingly stressed
during the exam period.
:\JO
ÄN\YLZ
JVUÄYT
expectations, and there is
loads of help out there to
try and ease the pain. This
year the Union is running a
campaign: ‘Revision….How
do you do yours?’. We are
asking you for any top revision
tips you can share with fellow
students to help each other
through, so keep your eye on
the Students’ Union website
^^^Z\UV[[PUNOHTHJ\R
HUK -HJLIVVR WHNL ^^^
MHJLIVVRJVT<VM5:< MVY
more information.
-VY UV^ [HRL H WLLR H[ [OL
quiz below. These few brief
questions will hopefully give
you an idea of how you study
most effectively whilst helping
you to keep those stress levels
down. Good luck with your
exams, take care of yourself
and huge congratulations
when they are all over!
Katie Mac
,X\HS6WWVY[\UP[PLZHUK
>LSMHYL6MÄJLY
Mostly As
:VTL[OPUN`V\TH`YLHSSÌLULÄ[MYVTPZSVVRPUNH[[OL^H`PU
ÔPJO`V\THUHNL`V\Y[PTLK\YPUNYL]PZPVU0M`V\ÄUKKPMÄJ\S[`
concentrating because you are bored or tired then give yourself
a break away from your work and make sure you get at least
OV\YZ ZSLLW H UPNO[ @V\ TH` YLHSS` ILULÄ[ MYVT H YL]PZPVU
schedule; this could be organised through managing your
revision into time slots or by having targets of subject matter
to go over. Through doing this you can set yourself targets to
achieve in the day time and ensure you get some sleep later on.
If you give yourself a break from work your concentration will
increase when you go back to learn and this can lessen feelings
of boredom.
Mostly Bs
It may be worth refocusing your thoughts throughout the revision
period to ease stress and pressure you feel. A great advantage
V]LYL_HTZPZ[VNL[Z\WWVY[LP[OLY[OYV\NOMYPLUKZZPTWS`Q\Z[
OH]PUNHJOH[VYOH]PUNNYV\WYL]PZPVUZLZZPVUZVYZLY]PJLZ[OH[
the university has to offer. The university counselling service
runs workshops that may be useful such as: ‘staying calm’
HUK ºWLYMLJ[PVUPZT HUK WYVJYHZ[PUH[PVU» ZLL ILSV^ MVY TVYL
PUMVYTH[PVU ,_HTZ HYL PTWVY[HU[ I\[ [HRPUN [PTL V\[ [V NL[
things into perspective may really boost your mood and calm
you down. Getting some exercise or doing anything you enjoy
VY ÄUK YLSH_PUN PZ HU PTWVY[HU[ WHY[ VM NL[[PUN [OYV\NO L_HTZ
as smoothly as possible so do not begrudge yourself in doing
ZV 0M `V\ ÄUK [OL ZOLLY HTV\U[ VM ^VYR KH\U[PUN ZWSP[ `V\Y
work into manageable parts. When you complete these parts of
revision remind yourself of what you have achieved and use this
to boost faith in yourself. You can do it.
Mostly Cs
It is always great to have a structured plan of how to get through
revision but remember to have a sensible schedule. Make time
for breaks and don’t try to do too much, be realistic, we are
only human. If you set your sights too high you may feel like
`V\HYLHS^H`ZILOPUKVYZ[Y\NNSPUN[VRLLW\W+VU»[MVYNL[[V
schedule in breaks, sleep, meals and time for yourself. Always
give yourself a well deserved reward for meeting your targets to
keep your motivation up.
For more information, help and support
here are some valuable resources:
Nottingham Students’ Union: www.su.nottingham.ac.uk/
4PUKTLU[HSOLHS[OJOHYP[`!^^^TPUKVYN\ROLSW
))*L_HTZ[YLZZHK]PJLWHNLZ!^^ÎIJJV\RYHKPVHK]PJL
5V[[PUNOHT<UP]LYZP[`*V\UZLSSPUN:LY]PJL! 5PNO[SPULMYLLOLSWSPUL! Helena Murphy
VENTS WAVE
CONSUMERIST
ON
COFFEE
Standing in the queue at Starbucks impatiently awaiting
HTVYUPUNÄ_VMJVMMLLP[PZL_[YLTLS`HNNYH]H[PUN[VIL
delayed while the customer in front demands a Frapa-lap-a-grande-latte with soya milk to go. Don’t get
me wrong, I’m not averse to the occasional caramel
macchiato or iced Frappuccino to propel me through
the hot summer months – but when do we draw the
SPULHUKZH`LUV\NOPZLUV\NO&>OH[ILULÄ[ZKV[OLZL
highly pretentious labels and vast array of choices bring
to the average coffee drinker, besides donning an air of
caffeine related authority, enabling one to power walk
down the road, armed with BlackBerry and Starbucks
cup a lá Paris Hilton? Answer: very little.
With 15,000 Starbucks locations across the globe it
is apparent that we have gone a little coffee crazy. And
P[»Z UV[ VUS` :[HYI\JRZ ¶ [OPUR VM *VZ[H *HML 5LYV HUK
Pret-A Manger all catering to the deprived and frenzied.
;OLZL KH`Z ^L ULLK H )( PU *VMMLL3PUNV [V Z\Y]P]L[OL
ordeal that is ordering a coffee. Standing in the queue is
a nerve-wracking experience and not to be taken lightly.
How is a small drink from Starbucks logically referred to
as ‘tall’? Because tall doesn’t sound so small to me. In a
fast paced, consumerist society where endless choice and
indispensible resources are taken for granted, when will it
become apparent that having 20 coffee options is simply
too much?
As a student, it is almost obligatory to indulge in a large
JVMMLLPU[HRL¶0ÄUKHRPJRPU[OLTVYUPUNHWYLS\UJO[PTL
ZOVJR HUK H ÄUHS HM[LYUVVU ISHZ[ ZH[PZMHJ[VY` ¶ I\[ PZ P[
possible to ward off cravings without plummeting into
the overdraft? The extortionate prices that Starbucks
charge for even a basic Americano are enough to warrant
extending my overdraft. Why is it that we, as deserving
coffee drinkers, allow these companies to charge us so
L_[YH]HNHU[S`&(ZPTWSL^VYKYL]LHSZHSS!-HPY[YHKL)\[P[
PZ X\LZ[PVUHISL ÔL[OLY :[HYI\JRZ ÔV Y\U H -HPY[YHKL
policy on their beverages, are really as altruistic as we
are led to believe. The guise of ‘fair policies’ and ‘ethical
[YHKPUN» HJ[ HZ H Q\Z[PÄJH[PVU [V ZOVV[ WYPJLZ ZR` OPNO
without exonerating complaints from a philanthropist
ZVJPL[`-\Y[OLYTVYLQ\Z[OVÔ\THUP[HYPHUPZHJVTWHU`
ÔV MVYJLK YLZJ\L ^VYRLYZ PU 5L^ @VYR [V WH` MVY
three crates of water to aid victims after the 9/11 terrorist
attacks?
Starbucks – the enforcers of linguistic fascism, obscene
WYPJLZ HUK \U^HU[LK \WZLSSPUN º>V\SK `V\ SPRL H WHZ[Y`
VY JHRL ^P[O [OH[&» 5L_[ [PTL 0 ^HU[ H JVMMLL 0 [OPUR 0»SS
make it myself.
RAVE
YOUR
HER
SPLEEN
Ellie Blanchette on
BEING A
BORN-AGAIN
CYCLIST
I used to be one of those people who sneered with disdain
ÔLU H J`JSPZ[ JSHK PU Å\VYLZJLU[ OPKLV\ZULZZ ZWLK WHZ[
me on the way to campus. During the morning rush, the
sudden appearance of a helmeted moron tearing past me
VU [OL WH]LTLU[ L]LU PM 0 ^HZ ^YVUNS` [YLZWHZZPUN ^P[OPU
[OL IV\UKHYPLZ VM [OL J`JSL SHUL THKL TL \UYLHZVUHIS`
irritated. Yet now, since the arrival of an old familiar friend,
things have changed.
After realising that spending a fortune on buses and wasting an
exhausting amount of time walking to and from campus and work
was no longer an option, I naturally found myself pondering the
possibility of cycling. And so, I am once again the proud and
loving owner of a purple mountain bike.
;VILNPU^P[O^LOHKV\Y\WZHUKKVÛZ<WVUT`ÄYZ[[LU[H[P]L
trip into campus I found myself wheeling the stupid thing back
^P[OHOVWLSLZZS`ÅH[[`YL)\[UV^0HTHM\SS`ÅLKNLKJ`JSPZ[
JVTWSL[L ^P[O ÅHZOPUN KL[HJOHISL SPNO[Z Å\VYLZJLU[ ]LZ[ HUK
[OL WPLJL KL YLZPZ[HUJL H ZOVJRPUN WPUR JHNV\SL PU H IHN
for those unpredictable rainstorms. I love nothing more than to
smugly glide past sweaty students, speed walking in the vague
hope of making their seminars on time. I can now be safe in the
knowledge that when I arrive on campus, I may well be one of
those superiorly early students who have time to nonchalantly
grab a quick coffee. And as I cruise around the streets of Lenton,
PM 0 JSVZL T` L`LZ ^LSS TL[HWOVYPJHSS` YLHSPZ[PJHSS` [OH[ ^V\SK
IL KHUNLYV\Z HUK PNUVYL [OL W\KKSLZ VM ]VTP[ HUK [HRLH^H`
boxes littering the pavement, I am once again a child, zipping
freely along the tree-lined paths of a local park.
I have a heightened awareness of road safety, because it can
be a tough world out there for cyclists, particularly when Jeremy
*SHYRZVU[`WL TV[VYPZ[Z PUZPZ[ \WVU PNUVYPUN `V\Y YPNO[ [V [OL
road. If I am feeling particularly daring I will occasionally take my
hands from the breaks and recklessly freewheel, just a little bit,
KVÛ+LYI`9VHK(S[OV\NOPUP[PHSS`YLS\J[HU[[VKVU[OLZHML[`
gear I have now embraced cycling wear, and it is strangely
SPILYH[PUN*`JSPZ[ZYLHSS`HYLL_LTW[MYVT[OLY\SLZVM[OLMHZOPVU
police.
:V0HTVMÄJPHSS`HYLMVYTLKJ`JSPZ[6ULVM[OLT(UK.VKMVYIPK
any pedestrians who wander into the designated cycle paths.
31
2011
In partnership with
The Summer Party 2011 is going to be bigger and better than ever before! Radio One describes it as the ‘Student Glastonbury’, and it is known as the ‘biggest student
festival’ in Europe. This year Students’ Union staff and a team of student volunteers are working
together to ensure that this year’s Summer Party is unforgettable and the best one yet. With Student
Co-ordinators for daytime events, entertainment and the Fancy Dress Parade, we’ve got a really
enthusiastic team who want nothing more than to make sure you have a great time!
With thousands descending on the Downs to celebrate the end of exams and enjoy live music,
fairground rides, inflatable games, food and drink (and hopefully sunshine) the atmosphere will be
amazing. We’ve made lots of changes this year, with an improved site and daytime entertainments
area (have a go at the rodeo bull, human bowling ball, and test your strength). As always there will
be an impressive line up, but we’ll be revealing information about this in
stages – the more of you like our Facebook fan page, the more
we’ll tell you!
The great news is that this year our sponsor is Windows 7, by
far the biggest organisation we have ever had on board. This
means we can bring you lots of freebies and promotions to
go along with the tons of prizes and giveaways on the day.
So don’t miss out, buy your tickets now from www.summerparty.org.uk
!
w
e
N Party er
Summy
ess r
D
c
Fan look out , parade aking its h for it m
g
u
o
r
h
t
way ite at the s .
3pm
HAVE YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO CAMPAIGN TO CHANGE?
CAtCH (Campaign to Change) is an up and coming peer to peer campaigning group – running the
campaigns that you care about, to change the things that affect you! As well as having the opportunity to
create positive change for you, other students, your local community or even on a national or international level,
you’ll also develop skills that will look great on your CV, including leadership, problem solving and project
management. Working on CAtCH will also lead to a reference if required for future relevant positions.
What you decide to change is up to you, but here are some ideas of campaigns topics you
could be working on:
;-31',%!!-++-"2'-,'113#1
;,4'0-,+#,2,"1-!'*(312'!#'113#1
;$#26,"1#!30'26'113#1
;23"#,2&#*2&'113#1
;"3!2'-,*'113#1
If this sounds like something that you could really get passionate about,
then get involved and apply to be either one of our CAtCH Campaigns Organiser or a CAtCH Campaigner.
Please email sucampaigns@nottingham.ac.uk for further information and an application form.
STUDENT SATISFACTION SURVEY
,65#** #*3,!&',%-3023"#,22'1$!2'-,304#6&'1'16-30!&,!#2-2#**31&-55#**5#0#
meeting your needs and how satisfied you are with the services we provide. We want to provide you with
2&# #121#04'!#.-11' *#1-'210#**6'+.-02,22&26-32#**315&26-32&',)&#0#13*215'**$-0+2&# 1'1
of future surveys and let us see year on year if we are heading in the right direction. We’ve already taken on
-0"5&26-32-*"31',2&#'%#4'#5
,"10#13*26-3** #1##',%1-+# '%!&,%#12-2&#
23"#,21,'-,4#061--,21**.02-$-30!-++'2+#,22-*#26-3),-52&25#0#*'12#,',%2-6-3
-.*#1#2)#$#5+',32#12-!-+.*#2#2&'11304#6'25-,22)#*-,%,"12&,)6-36-3***1- #
#,2#0#"',2-0'7#052-5',9012.0'7#-$8
-003,,#03..0'7#-$8
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WHAT’S COMING UP THIS TERM?
We hope everyone had an amazing Easter holiday! It may be a short term, but it will also
be jam packed with events for you to mark the end of exams and the start of Summer:
WEDNESDAY 4TH MAY - AU BALL
FRIDAY 6TH MAY – SOCIETIES BALL
SATURDAY 4TH JUNE – SUMMER PARTY
WEDNESDAY 8TH JUNE – GRAD BALL
FRIDAY 10TH JUNE – SOUNDS ON THE DOWNS
As always keep up to date with everything on the Students’ Union website:
www.su.nottingham.ac.uk
su.nottingham.ac.uk
EXPOSURE - Showcasing the best of University of Nottingham student photography
Helen Miller+HÛPU[OL/PNO([SHZ4V\U[HPUZ4HYYHRLJO4VYVJJV
STYLE
The Men’s Issue
This is a
man’s world
The faces
behind high
fashion
We get the
results of our
Male Grooming
Questionnaire
Style Icon: George Lamb
by William Robertson
+LZWP[L KP]PKPUN VWPUPVU ^P[O OPZ \UVY[OVKV_ [HRL VU +1PUN VU
Radio 6, George Lamb has always united the fashion world in
adulation of his salt and pepper hair and penchant for skinny suits.
His style emulates the quintessential English gent, but he blends
this traditional look with bursts of eccentric modernity. Here is a
man who can take your geography teacher’s tweed suit and add a
pair of bright red brogues with pizazz. These are fairly large brogues
too, as his feet stretch to an impressive size 13 and a half and are
catered for by a specially contracted Japanese shoemaker. Having
started to go grey at the age of 19, George has opted to show
the silverware, and as a consequence has acquired sophistication
and gravitas. Everyone knows that older gentlemen ‘subtly’ dyeing
their hair black when it has been grey for the past decade look sad,
whereas George is enjoying life as a silver fox. Lamb has brought
classic formalwear to a new generation more accustomed to
hoodies and trainers, which must be a good thing. Those eager to
emulate George’s style will be pleased to know that he has created
a new range of clothing with friend and designer Adrien Sauvage
called, um, A. Sauvage. This is part of their ‘This Is Not A Suit’
campaign which is attempting to free smart menswear from 9-toÄ]LVMÄJL[LYYP[VY`HUKTHRLP[HZ[HWSLMVYL]LY`VJJHZPVU/PZ
style is admittedly not one for the faint-hearted, and not every man
can pull off corduroy trousers and a leather-elbowed blazer with
conviction. What we can learn from The Lamb however is that it
WH`Z[VILHIP[LJJLU[YPJMYVT[PTL[V[PTLHUKÄUKPUN`V\YVÛ
Z[`SLPZIL[[LY[OHU[PTPKS`MVSSV^PUNL]LY`VULLSZL[V;VWTHU
Blazer: Hugo Boss
Shirt: Hugo Boss
Tie: Hugo Boss
Trousers: Topman
Shoes: Hugo Boss
36 ISSUE 210 | MAY 2011
Suit: Hugo Boss
Shirt: Hugo Boss
Tie: Hugo Boss
Shoes: Hugo Boss
Style Icon :David Beckham
by Teddy Smith
(Z VUL VM [OL TVZ[ PJVUPJ MVV[IHSSLYZ VM V\Y [PTL +H]PK
Beckham is as famous off-pitch as on. He has it all - the
popstar wife, annoyingly cute children and more advertising
KLHSZ[OHU*VJH*VSH/PZNVVKSVVRZOH]LU»[O\Y[HSVUN
the way either, with Beckham’s chiselled features fronting
campaigns for Gillette, Emporio Armani… and Sharpie.
There have been a few fashion faux pas along the way,
PUJS\KPUN TH[JOPUN /PZ ºU /LYZ SLH[OLY V\[Ä[Z HUK [OL
infamous man-sarong, but somehow he’s managed to
come through the other side a shining example of male
style. Whether it’s Armani three-piece suits or jeans and
a t-shirt with a pretty healthy dose of man-cleavage, he
always looks like he’s stepped out of a lifestyle advert.
Photography: Tara Wallace
Stylists: Charlotte Gelipter & Jasmin Watts
Model: Tom Hilton
Never has a man been so emulated, even down to his
chameleon-like hairstyles. His haircuts have spawned
a million lookalikes – when he went mohawk, we went
TVOH^R ÔLU +H]PK )LJROHT ZH`Z P[»Z VRH` [V OH]L
highlights, it’s okay to have highlights. Maybe it’s because
of his footballing roots and penchant for tattoos that he
has managed to keep his down to earth appeal despite his
designer wardrobe. The image he projects is clean cut and
traditionally masculine, even with the fake tan and preened
MHJPHSOHPY6MSH[LOLOHZW\[[OLZHYVUNZÄYTSÌLOPUKOPT
and embraced impeccable tailoring like a true gent. He
might play it safe and stick to what is in fashion, but he
does it well, even if we do suspect his designer wife has
something to do with his maturing style choices.
Our
Survey
Says…
20%
dye their hair
{
Here at Impact we are not fans of clichés. When
people assume that men and women are polar
opposites when it comes to grooming and beauty
regimes, we would like to argue that perhaps all
is not as it seems. With a little bit of investigation
H SV[ VM WLZ[LYPUN ^P[O V\Y X\LZ[PVUUHPYL ^L
delved into the dark and mysterious world of
[OLTHU»ZIH[OYVVTJHIPUL[[VÄUKV\[ÔL[OLY
[OL Z[ *LU[\Y` THSL YLHSS` KVLZ Q\Z[ ^HZO ºU
go with a bar of soap. Some of you were more
willing to open up than others, but thank you to
the men of Nottingham University for giving us
HUPUZPNO[PU[V[OLSPMLVMHUPTHNLJVUZJPV\ZVY
UV[Z[\KLU[
A quarter of you either have
done or would consider
using makeup products.
The days of having to raid
your girlfriend’s make-up
bag for concealer are over.
With Guerlain, Gaultier and
Clinique all bringing out
ranges for men.
31/40
{
never straightened
their hair
The amount you
spend on haircuts
seems to vary
drastically: From
the DIY to the
debt – inducing,
with some of you
spending over
£100 for a luxury
lid.
Surprisingly 50% of you
still think there’s a stigma
attached to the notion of
the ‘metrosexual’ male,
despite the fact that most
of you voted incredibly
well-groomed celebrities
as your style icons.
We have to say we are
extremely jealous of
how little you spend on
personal grooming, with
92% of you spending less
than £30 a month.
For most of you the
morning routine is short
and sweet with the
majority of you spending
less than 30 minutes
grooming at the start of
your day.
Less than half surveyed
moisturise every day
Hair removal, excluding
facial shaving got a thumbs
up from 60% of you. We were
innocently thinking of chest,
armpits… maybe a cheeky
nose hair trim. You seemed
to be thinking ‘balls’. Either
way, most of you guys seem to
be embracing the razor these
days, which hopefully means
Ron Burgundy chest rugs are
a thing of the past.
We have our
suspicions that only
two of you admitted
to using fake tan
When it comes to star products, a few stood
V\[HZÄYTMH]V\YP[LZ5P]LH^HZ[OLIYHUK
of choice when it came to moisturisers,
whilst Gillette came out on top for the
wet shave razors. Thanks to considerate
girlfriends, a few of you are recent converts
[V [OL *SPUPX\L :[LW :`Z[LT JSLHUZPUN
toning and moisturising as part of your daily
routine. We’re pretty impressed with the guy
who has already started on the anti-wrinkle
regime, and the few men who can admit
that sometimes we all need a bit of extra
volume in the hair department. However,
whilst attitudes to male grooming appear
to be changing, half of those surveyed still
felt that there was a stigma attached to the
UV[PVU VM [OL ºTL[YVZL_\HS THSL» -PUHUJLZ
and age seem to be top of the list of excuses
for not taking a huge interest in grooming,
with plenty of you claiming that once you
have more money to spend on products,
and perhaps the wrinkles to justify it, you’ll
fork out more readily. Whether this comes to
fruition, we’ll just have to wait and see – but
bear in mind that looking after your skin and
body now will pay dividends later.
This is
a man’s
world...
by
Charlotte Rottenburg
There is a common misconception
that the fashion industry is run by
bitchy harridans with ferocious nails,
immaculate blow-drys and walkin wardrobes. Ask the average man
what he thinks of fashion, and he will
generally reply with something similar
to ‘well, it’s for girls isn’t it?’. Given that
the majority of the male population
seem resigned to this view, I wonder if
they’d take more of an interest in the
fashion industry if they knew that it
is, in fact, the men who run the show.
Giorgio Armani, Tom Ford, Roland
Mouret, Roberto Cavalli, Alexander
Wang, Ralph Lauren... I could go on.
These designers are the pinnacle of the
fashion world - and all of them are men.
[OL H[[LU[PVU VM +VUH[LSSH =LYZHJL -YVT
his debut collection in September 2006,
Kane has gone from strength to strength,
^PUUPUN [OL )-* )YP[PZO +LZPNULY VM [OL
Year in 2009. Another bright young thing,
Erdem Moralioglu, has recently seen his
:WYPUN :\TTLY 3VUKVU -HZOPVU
Week collection splashed across fashion
magazines and websites. He has gained
the praise of bloggers and industry
experts alike who are unable to fault his
[YHKLTHYR ÅVYHS HUK SHJL KYLZZLZ /PZ
appeal is arguably even broader than
2HUL»Z NHPUPUN H YLW\[H[PVU HZ [OL ºÄYZ[
wives’ favourite’ – dressing the likes of
4PJOLSSL6IHTHHUK:HTHU[OH*HTLYVU
- as well as young Hollywood starlets such
HZ*HYL`4\SSPNHUHUK2LPYH2UPNO[SL`
His rising star has not gone unnoticed,
and in 2010 he was awarded the
PUH\N\YHS )-*=VN\L -HZOPVU -\UK H
JVVS WYPaL :PTPSHY Z[VYPLZ YPUN
[Y\L^P[O;OHRVVU4HYR-HZ[)VYH(RZ\
and many others. It’s now the girls who
HYL ÄNO[PUN [V IL YLJVNUPZLK PU H ^VYSK
that’s supposedly run by women. And
what of the old establishment? Seasoned
L_WLY[Z SPRL .PVYNPV (YTHUP +VSJL HUK
Gabbana, and Marc Jacobs are still at
the top of their game, producing up to six
collections a year for womenswear alone.
*OHULS WYVIHIS` [OL IYHUK [OH[ PZ TVZ[
synonymous with femininity and women,
has now had Karl Lagerfeld at the helm
for over 25 years, showing that yet again a
;OLWHZ[KLJHKLOHZZLLUHÅ\YY`VMMYLZO man is behind one of the most successful
designer talent, and it’s the guys who have and creative fashion houses in the world.
JVTL V\[ Z[YVUNLZ[ ;HRL *OYPZ[VWOLY
Kane for example; even before he left Over at the business end of fashion, males
*LU[YHS :HPU[ 4HY[PUZ PU 2HUL OHK dominate the area too. Bernard Arnault
^VYRLK MVY .PSLZ +LHJVU HUK H[[YHJ[LK PZ *,6 VM [OL ^VYSK»Z SHYNLZ[ S\_\Y`
4HU»Z THU ;VT -VYK ]V[LK H Z[`SL PJVU
I` X\P[L H ML^ VM `V\ PU V\Y Z\Y]L` OHZ
enjoyed success as the creative director
at both Gucci and YSL, creating the
;64-69+IYHUKPU/LYLPZHTHU
who really understands how to enhance,
ÅH[[LY HUK KYLZZ H ^VTHU»Z IVK` ^P[O
:17 *OHYSPaL ;OLYVU HUK 5PJVSL 2PKTHU
HTVUNZ[ OPZ JLSLIYP[` MHUZ )\[ 4Y-VYK
does not only design womenswear; he
has his own line of sunglasses, skincare,
make-up, and fragrances, as well as a
menswear range that won him the 2008
*-+( 4LUZ^LHY +LZPNULY VM [OL @LHY
H^HYK-VYKPZHTHUVMTHU`[HSLU[ZHUK
a key player in the fashion industry.
goods conglomerate, Louis Vuitton-Moët
Hennesy, and is chairman of both LVMH
HUK *OYPZ[PHU +PVY 6[OLY YLN\SHYZ VU
[OL -VYILZ YPJO SPZ[ HYL [OL >LY[OLPTLY
brothers, Alain and Gerard, who own the
controlling share of the iconic House of
*OHULS 779 HUV[OLY -YLUJO OVSKPUN
company that owns Gucci Group and other
S\_\YÌYHUKZOHZ-YHUsVPZ/LUYP7PUH\S[
HZP[ZJOHPYTHUHUK*,6,]LY`ÔLYL`V\
look, it’s the men who hold the power.
On the high street and in the world of
VUSPUL ZOVWWPUN TLUZ^LHY PZ ÄUHSS`
coming to the fore. Sites such as ASOS
and Matches play host to a huge array
of menswear and accessories, whilst
-LIY\HY` ZH^ [OL SH\UJO VM 4Y 7VY[LY
Brainchild of net-a-porter.com’s founder
5H[HSPL 4HZZLUL[ 4Y 7VY[LY PZ [OL ÄYZ[
online luxury retailer aimed exclusively at
men. Away from cyberspace, the size and
number of menswear departments and
exclusive stores on the high street has
been steadily increasing. Topman alone
now boasts over 175 stores worldwide,
well on the way to catching up to the
400+ stores of its sister brand, Topshop,
launched 14 years earlier.
The high street may be a bit slow on
catching up with the trends of the catwalk,
but it certainly seems to be adapting to
the high demand for on-trend menswear.
The perception that the fashion industry is
nothing but lipstick, stilettos and hairspray
is seriously outdated, but as our survey
seems to suggest, there’s still a long way
to go before fashion has an equal footing
in the eyes of men and women.
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM/STYLE
39
f
film
THE WESTERN
A RETIRED GUNSLINGER?
- Josh Franks
A poncho-clad Clint Eastwood bursts through the doors
of a saloon, eyes piercing and calculating, dried cigar butt
hanging from his lips, with a hand holding steady above the
holster of his gun. John Wayne gives you a wizened smile,
tips his hat and bids you a “Hello, pilgrim.”
These men, paragons of masculinity and heroism, are both
PTTLKPH[LS` YLJVNUPZHISL HZ [PTLSLZZ ÄN\YLZ VM [O JLU[\Y`
pop culture and are integral cogs in a much greater cinematic
THJOPUL! [OL >LZ[LYU 0[Z PUÅ\LUJL \UKLUPHISL [OL KLI[ [OH[
modern cinema owes to the Western genre is one that will never
ILM\SS`YLT\ULYH[LK¶HUK[OH[»ZQ\Z[PU[LYTZVMTVUL`-YVT
the 1930s to the 1960s, Westerns proved to be one of the more
ÄUHUJPHSS`Z\JJLZZM\SNLUYLZMVYZ[\KPVZHUKÄSTTHRLYZ^P[O
around 200 being produced each decade, this being primarily
due to the popularity of its stars like Wayne, Eastwood, Yul
)YÙULY/LUY`-VUKH.HY`*VVWLYHUKTHU`TVYL
Sadly though, since the 1970s, the popularity of Westerns has
waned somewhat, with fewer and fewer being released in the
following decades. However, there are many that do stand out,
such as Alejandro Jodorowsky’s El Topo, known for its blend of
Z\YYLHSPZTHUKJSHZZPJ>LZ[LYULSLTLU[Z"7H[.HYYL[[)PSS`;OL
2PKPUÔPJO)VI+`SHUZ[HYYLKHUKJVTWVZLK[OLZV\UK[YHJR"
John Wayne’s reprisal of his 1969 True Grit role in Rooster
Cogburn" HZ ^LSS HZ *SPU[ ,HZ[^VVK»Z THU` V[OLY >LZ[LYUZ
outside of his work with Sergio Leone, including Joe Kidd, High
Plains Drifter, Pale Rider and arguably his best directorial work,
Unforgiven in 1990.
([ [OL HK]LU[ VM [OL *.0 LYH P[ ZLLTLK SPRL [OL [YHKP[PVUHS
Western had all but faded into obscurity. However, there have
ILLUTHU`ÄSTZ[OYV\NOV\[[OLSHZ[KLJHKL[OH[OH]LZW\YYLK
a resurgence of the Western genre, by means of subverting
P[" TVKLYU ÄSTTHRLYZ HYL [HRPUN H T\JO KHYRLY SVVR H[ [OL
Western, with the following being excellent examples of this:
John Hillcoat’s The Proposition (2005 PZ H ZVTLÔH[
unique entry into the Western genre, in that it is set in
Australian outback in the 1880s. It stars Guy Pearce
as an outlaw who is forced to track down and kill his
UV[VYPV\ZHUKIHYIHYPJVSKLYIYV[OLYWSH`LKI`+HUU`
Huston, or his younger brother will be killed. Hillcoat
places great emphasis on realism in his direction,
especially in depicting the lives of the Aboriginal tribes
of the time. While there are some violent scenes, The
Proposition is as much an atmospheric drama as it is
HIY\[HSHUK\UÅPUJOPUN[HSLHIV\[VULTHU»ZZ[Y\NNSL
to reconcile his personal limits and beliefs with reality.
As with Unforgiven, The Proposition delves deeper into
the psychology of the outlaw.
:PTPSHYS`(UKYL^+VTPUPR»Z The Assassination of Jesse
James by the Coward Robert FordPZLZZLU[PHSS`
a psychological drama rather than a Western, hence
Ô`P[PZVULVM[OLTVZ[V]LYSVVRLKÄSTZVM[OLNLUYL
0[ PZ [OL Z[VY` VM 9VILY[ -VYK H `V\UN THU ÔV OHZ
idolised the outlaw Jesse James, and eventually
joins his posse at age 19. However, James is by no
TLHUZ[OLTHU[OH[-VYKOHZPTHNPULKOPT[VIL"OLPZ
WHYHUVPKKLWYLZZLKHUKULHYZ\PJPKHS-VYKPZMVYJLK
to assassinate James, the consequences of which he
T\Z[ILHYMVY[OLYLZ[VMOPZSPML-LH[\YPUNZLUZH[PVUHS
WLYMVYTHUJLZ I` )YHK 7P[[ HUK *HZL` (MÅLJR 1LZZL
James is a masterful work of cinema. The direction
HUK JPULTH[VNYHWO` PZ ÅH^SLZZ HUK 7P[[»Z WVY[YH`HS
of Jesse James’ fragile psyche is the most realistic to
date.
40
ISSUE 210| MAY 2011
While it is very much clothed differently, and appearing
less and less often on our screens in its most traditional
form, it would appear that the Western is most certainly
not dead. The characterisation and primary means of
storytelling that lie at the heart of Westerns is present
in almost every medium and other genre today: In
[LSL]PZPVU ^P[O 1VZZ >OLKVU»Z -PYLÅ` SP[LYH[\YL ^P[O
:[LWOLU 2PUN»Z ;OL +HYR ;V^LY LWPJ MHU[HZ` ZLYPLZ
and even in video games, with Rockstar Games’ Red
+LHK 9LKLTW[PVU" [OL >LZ[LYU OVWLM\SS` ZOV^Z UV
sign of hanging up its boots for good just yet.
IS THIS A 3D
DAGGER I
SEE BEFORE
ME?
-James McAndrew
>OLUP[JVTLZ[VHKHW[HISLÄSTHISL
material, the novel is head of the
family and always has been. Then we
have the youthful and popular comic
book and his often-misunderstood
brother the graphic novel, and then
there’s their weird cousin, the video
game, who never quite achieves his
potential. Finally there is the stage
play, which is perhaps best worked
into this metaphor as the grandfather
who is nowhere near as popular as
OL\ZLK[VIL^P[O[OLT\ZPJHSILPUN
the play’s seemingly ageless nonPKLU[PJHS [^PU 4L[HWOVYZ HZPKL [OL
given reputation of being a product
of high culture is often enough to
ZJHYL HU` ÄSTTHRLY H^H` MYVT
adapting a well known or acclaimed
play, particularly as it may incite the
possibility of offending the high and
mighty critics they otherwise aim to
please.
If we take the Academy Awards’
Adapted Screenplay category as a way
of gauging the popularity of stage to
screen movies, then a very distinctive
[YLUK HWWLHYZ -YVT [OLYL
^LYLH[V[HSVMUVTPUH[PVUZMVYÄSTZ
adapted from stage plays; from 1990
onwards the total only reaches 7. More
often than not it is the original playwright
who adapts their precious work. Names
that feature often in the category of
Oscar bothering dramatists include the
likes of Neil Simon, Tennessee Williams
and Harold Pinter. Technically, Woody
Allen is the most nominated playwright
OH]PUN ^YP[[LU MVY [OLH[YL ZPUJL HSVUNZPKL OPZ T\JO SH\KLK ÄST ^VYR
although he has never adapted one of
OPZVÛWSH`ZPU[VHÄST
However popular they might be, the
theatrical adaptations have always
YLJLP]LK OPNO WYVÄSL [YLH[TLU[ 6M[LU
subsequently becoming far more well
known than the play on which they
^LYLIHZLK-VYL_HTWSLOH]LHN\LZZ
H[ ÔPJO ÄSTZ [OL MVSSV^PUN [^V WSH`Z
ILJHTL NYHU[LK VUL PZ H SV[ OHYKLY
[OHU[OLV[OLY!Still Life and Everybody
Comes to Rick’s. Any ideas? Still Life,
H ZOVY[ WSH` ^YP[[LU I` 5VLS *V^HYK
^HZ ÄYZ[ WYVK\JLK PU HUK `LHYZSH[LY*V^HYKHKHW[LKP[PU[VÔH[
has become a classic piece of British
cinema, Brief Encounter. Everybody
*VTLZ;V9PJR»Z^HZ^YP[[LUI`4\YYH`
Burnett and Joan Alison in 1940, but
OH]PUN ILLU \UHISL [V ÄUK ZVTLVUL
to produce their play, they instead sold
the rights to Warner Brothers, who then
[\YULKP[PU[V*HZHISHUJH
Something that may soon follow suit
^PSSIL+HUPLS9HKJSPMML»ZÄYZ[WVZ[/HYY`
7V[[LYÄST;OL>VTHU0U)SHJR(U`VUL
[OH[ KPK .*:, KYHTH ^PSS WYVIHIS`
0THNLI`,TTH*OHYHSHTIV\Z
share my absolute love and fear for
this production. As much as I’d hope
[OL ÄST [V IL H NVVK WPLJL VM ^VYR 0
MLHY [OH[ P[ ^PSS IL \UHISL [V ÄSS [OL IPN
shoes of the play. I am sure that ‘the boy
who lived’ will be enough to bring in the
IV_ VMÄJL U\TILYZ HUK THRL [OL ÄST
a success, but the question is, will we
lose part of the terrifying element of the
original production in adaptation?
;OL SVUN [HRL PZ H YHYP[` PU ÄSTZ HUK
essentially a challenge. It is challenging,
because there is the potential for so much
to go wrong; lines could be forgotten,
cameras might break or the weather
might turn. ‘Long’ usually means up to
several minutes without a cut, which
for a stage actor or crewmember is
laughably short. But when it’s pulled off,
the effect lasts long in the memory. See
Hitchcock’s RopeÔPJOPUJPKLU[HSS`PZ
HKHW[LK MYVT H WSH` MVY H ÄST THKL
up of only 11 shots. And more recently
there’s the excellent Hunger ^YP[[LUI`
WSH`^YPNO[,KUH>HSZOÔPJOJVU[HPUZ
an epic, unbroken 17-minute shot.
-PUHSS` 0»K SPRL [V TLU[PVU H WSH`^YPNO[
often referred to as Hollywood’s most
successful screenwriter. He is of course,
William Shakespeare. This year sees yet
another updating of one of his major
works in the form of The Tempest. It’s
interesting to question that were he alive
today might he write for the screen as
well as the stage? Perhaps we’d get
+\KL >OLYL»Z 4` +HNNLY& 6Y L]LU
maybe Harry Potter and The Merry
Wives of Windsor? We can but dream.
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM/FILM
41
f
film
UNE INTRODUCTION À LA NOUVELLE VAGUE
(A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO THE FRENCH NEW WAVE)
- Ben James
The French New Wave or La Nouvelle Vague was a
JVSSLJ[PVU VM ÄSTTHRLYZ ÔV LTLYNLK PU [OL SH[L Z
and early 1960s, a group of critics from ‘Cahier du Cinéma’
ÔVZV\NO[[VIYLHRÄST»ZTVUV[VU`-VSSV^PUN[OL:LJVUK
World War, these critics were able to view a backlog of
ÄSTZ HUK ^P[OPU [OLZL [OL` ZH^ WH[[LYUZ PUJVYWVYH[LK PU
/VSS`^VVKÄSTTHRPUN-YVT[OPZ[OL`KL]LSVWLK[OLº(\[L\Y
theory’ and essentially recognised the distinct features of
classical cinema with its intention to provoke interpolation,
[OL WYVJLZZ PU ÔPJO H ÄST \ZLZ Z[`SPZ[PJ HUK PKLVSVNPJHS
KL]PJLZ [V THRL [OL H\KPLUJL LTWH[OPZL ^P[O [OL ÄST»Z
messages. The Cahier critics then wanted to subvert these
features and attempt to break from their conventions.
)`MHY[OL[^VSLHKPUNH\[L\YZVM[OL-YLUJO5L^>H]L^LYL
1LHU3\J .VKHYK HUK -YHUsVPZ ;Y\MMH\[ .VKHYK»Z A Bout De
:V\MÅL HUK Une Femme Est Une Femme UV[
only established the careers of Jean-Paul Belmondo and Anna
2HYPUH I\[ HYL HYN\HIS` [OL TVZ[ PUÅ\LU[PHS WPLJLZ VM JPULTH
DUDE, WHERE’S
MY SEQUEL?
-Imogen Firth-Jones
Production limbo: a black hole of studios, budgets, those
minutiae of the industry that are so easy to forget about.
,]LY` `LHY P[ [HRLZ I\KKPUN ÄST PKLHZ HUK ZJYLLUWSH`Z
many of which have already been announced to the public,
and mercilessly smites them down with talk of “Being too
expensive” and “schedule negotiations...” Just as we were
Z[HY[PUN[VNL[HSSL_JP[LK[VVVU[OH[UV[LJHUZVTLVUL
send out a ‘Missing Persons’ ad for Sin City 2 and 3,
WSLHZL&
Sometimes it works out – as when limbo swallowed Halo, but
by recycling props and sticking a few sheds together with
superglue, spat out District 9 ¶ I\[ UV[ HSS ÅLKNSPUN ÄSTZ HYL
as lucky, and we are left with ghosts of ideas that were once
ZV WYVTPZPUN >OH[ HIV\[ [OL Z\WWVZLK =LNH IYV[OLYZ ÄST
Z[HYYPUN 1VOU ;YH]VS[H»Z =PUJLU[ Pulp Fiction HUK 4PJOHLS
Madsen’s psychopathic Vic from Reservoir Dogs? Together
they could have shimmied and amputated their way through
a pretty impressive spin-off. I’m aware that this is inhibited by
issues of continuity, as neither brother survived his time in the
spotlight, but Tarantino’s hardly a stickler for accuracy.
My point is, why are perfectly good sequels waved away
ÅPWWHU[S` ÔPSZ[ Z[\KPVZ JVU[PU\L [V KLTVUZ[YH[L H UL]LY
ending capacity for regurgitating franchises that should have
been mercy-killed years ago. With an ending like “Wait ‘til they
get a load of me,” we thought that Kick Ass 2 was a sure thing,
but director Matthew Vaughn and screenwriter Jane Goldman
^V\SK YH[OLY ÄKKSL HYV\UK ^P[O [OL NHaPSSPVU[O PUJHYUH[PVU VM
X-Men instead, hilariously entitled X-Men: First Class. 20th
42
since Citizen Kane or Battleship Potemkin. Godard took a terse
`L[ PTHNPUH[P]L HWWYVHJO [V ÄSTTHRPUN ÔPSZ[ JVTIPUPUN
the philosophy of Jean-Paul Sartre with the direction of Jean
Renoir and Alfred Hitchcock. Truffaut took a more understated
HWWYVHJO^P[OOPZSHUKTHYRÄSTZLes Quatre Cents Coup and Jules et Jim L_WSVYPUN[OLUH[\YLVMº;OL(IZ\YK»HUK
its place in society as well as the Existential crisis it creates.
(\[L\YPZT,_PZ[LU[PHSPZT[OL(IZ\YKº1\TW*\[Z»"[OLFrench
New Wave established a new language in cinema. The entire
TLU[HSP[`VM[OL*HOPLYK\*PUtTHÄSTTHRLYZ^HZ[VYLPU]LU[
[OLWYVJLZZVMÄSTTHRPUNThe French New WaveÄSTTHRLYZ
had a monumental and innovative effect on cinema; from
:JVYJLZL-VYK*VWWVSSH:WPLSILYN(S[THU;HYHU[PUV[OLSPZ[
VM KPYLJ[VYZ ÔV V^L H SHYNL JYLKP[ [V [OL -YLUJO 5L^ >H]L
is staggering and a true testament to their imagination, daring
HUKWYV^LZZPUÄSTTHRPUN;OPZPZI\[[OL[PWVM[OLPJLILYN[OH[
makes up the French New Wave, a vast movement in cinema
that is well worth exploring.
*LU[\Y`-V_P[ZLLTZPZUV[^P[OV\[HZLUZLVMPYVU`
With Pirates of the Caribbean 4 and a new Spiderman to
SVVR MVY^HYK [V 0»T Z[Y\JR [OH[ ZV THU` ÄSTTHRLYZ HYL
demonstrating very little imagination. Let’s hope that the
next generation of sequels are chosen more carefully, before
‘Transformers XI: Stuff Turning Into Other Stuff’ causes us all to
vomit in our cinema seats.
m
music
MUSIC
AT THE
PICTURES
4\ZPJ OHZ ILLU SPURLK [V [OL ÄST
industry since the Academy Awards
of 1934, when the category of ‘Best
6YPNPUHS :JVYL» ^HZ ÄYZ[ PU[YVK\JLK
Flash-forward 70 years and the once
KPZWHYH[L^VYSKZVMT\ZPJHUKÄSTHYL
more interconnected than ever.
0UKLLK VUL ULLK VUS` SVVR [V +HM[
Punk’s latest album, a soundtrack to the
ÄSTº;YVU!3LNHJ`»HZHUL_HTWSLVM[OPZ
UL^ WOLUVTLUVU )PVWPJZ ÄSTZ [OH[
provide us with a dramatised biography
of someone or something - are another
area in which the two worlds collide,
with arguably the most famous example
VM H T\ZPJ IPVWPJ ILPUN 1HTPL -V__»Z
WVY[YH`HSVM9H`*OHYSLZPUº9H`»([P[Z
^PKLZ[YLSLHZL[OLÄST^HZILPUNZOVÛ
in approximately 2, 500 cinemas across
the world, a level of exposure which
most radio stations and music channels
can only dream about. However, it is for
lesser-known artists that biopics can
truly bring recognition, with two very
KPMMLYLU[ ÄSTZ º*VU[YVS» HUK º*HKPSSHJ
Records’ - illustrating this point.
An adaptation of a biography on Joy
+P]PZPVU»ZMYVU[THU0HU*\Y[PZº*VU[YVS»
focuses on the band’s rise to fame in
Z4HUJOLZ[LY*OPSSPUNHUKYL]LHSPUN
in its black and white portrayal of a
tumultuous time in British music, the
ÄSTHKKZKLW[O[V[OVZL[OH[HYLMHTPSPHY
with the band, and converts those that
^LYLU»[MHTPSPHY^P[O1V`+P]PZPVUILMVYL
^PUUPUNWLYMVYTHUJLMYVT1HTPL-V__
Dan Adams
º*HKPSSHJ9LJVYKZ»WVY[YH`Z[OLZ[VY`VM
*OLZZ 9LJVYKZ H *OPJHNV IHZLK SHILS
that saw the birth of blues and Rock n’
Roll through little known artists such as
Howlin’ Wolf and Muddy Waters. The
casting of Beyonce Knowles as Eta
James gives the genre a level of exposure
which could be little achieved elsewhere,
and provides a great introduction to
pieces of music that today have been
mostly forgotten.
>HSR ;OL 3PUL – ‘Walk The
Line’ takes audiences on a journey
VM 1VOUU` *HZO»Z 1VHX\PU 7OVLUP_
musical career, with a large focus on
the love affair between himself and
MLSSV^ ZPUNLYT\ZPJPHU 1\UL *HY[LY
9LLZL >P[OLYZWVVU 7OVLUP_ WSH`Z HU
HZ[V\UKPUNS`JVU]PUJPUN*HZOLX\PWWLK
with his famous bass-baritone drawl,
guitar-picking goodness and a sneer that
nicely compliments the singer’s outlaw
image. Witherspoon also has an acute
\UKLYZ[HUKPUNVM[OL*V\U[Y`T\ZPJPHU»Z
persona in this critically-acclaimed
biopic.
Charlotte Krol
;OLZL ÄSTZ HYL PSS\Z[YH[P]L VM ÔH[ H
biopic can offer; a vivid portrayal of the
context that surrounds an artist or genre,
and a greater insight into the motivations
ILOPUK[OLPY^VYR-VYWLVWSL[OH[^HU[
[VKPZJV]LYUL^NLUYLZVYZPTWS`ÄUKV\[
more about their favourite artist, biopics
are an interesting and accessible place
to start.
Jake Batty
9H` - Born in deep poverty and
ISPUK MYVT H `V\UN HNL 9H` *OHYSLZ»
music was as diverse and colourful as
his life. His heroin addiction, childhood in
Georgia and almost continual problems
^P[O ÄKLSP[` WLWWLYLK OPZ ZVUNZ ^P[O H
NLU\PUL O\THU [V\JO -L^ T\ZPJPHUZ
are as worthy of a biopic as him. ‘Ray’
tells his story warts and all and contains
brilliant musical set pieces with an Oscar-
:OPUL - Shine tells the story
VM ]PY[\VZV WPHUPZ[ +H]PK /LSMNV[[
whose technical ability was tragically
VUS` LX\HSSLK I` OPZ KPMÄJ\S[PLZ ^P[O
schizoaffective disorder. Performed by
.LVMMYL` 9\ZO ÔV ^VU HU 6ZJHY MVY
[OL YVSL HUK 5VHO ;H`SVY [OPZ IPVWPJ
chronicles the turbulent life Helfgott
led under the ruthless guidance of
his overbearing father. Above all, the
movie gives an insight into both the
dangerous and beautiful side of musical
perfectionism.
Ben James
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM/MUSIC
43
m
music
CLASSICAL MUSIC
This issue Impact explores the often overlooked world of classical music. We present our ‘Beginner’s Guide’
in which we provide you with the basics on all things classical. You may even be surprised to know that certain
JVTWVZP[PVUZHYLTVYLMHTPSPHY[OHU`V\[OPUR¶ZLLV\Yº*SHZZPJHS;VW;LU»[VÄUKV\[TVYL(M[LYV\Yº-H]V\YP[L7PJRZ»
section, read Rebecca Hutter’s article on why we shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss classical music as ‘dull and outdated’.
Remember people...keep it classical!
A BEGINNER’S GUIDE
-James Smyllie and Rebecca Hutter
Impact’s Classical Top Ten
Classical music you didn’t know you knew!
:LYNLP7YVRVÄL]!º4VU[HN\LZHUK*HW\SL[Z»
Bet you didn’t know that the opening music for The Apprentice
PZUVV[OLY[OHU4Y7YVRVÄL]»Zº4VU[HN\LZHUK*HW\SL[Z»MYVT
Romeo and Juliet.
*HYS6YMM!º6-VY[\UH»
*HYS 6YMM»Z º6 -VY[\UH» PZ \ZLK HSS V]LY [OL WSHJL -YVT ;OL ?
-HJ[VY»ZVWLUPUN[OLTL[V:UVVW+VNN»ZPU[YVH[.SHZ[VUI\Y`
2010, this song gets around. If you’re a West Bromwich Albion
fan you may also recognise this as the song played before
matches at The Hawthorns.
3tV+LSPILZ!º;OL-SV^LY+\L[»
0[»Z OHYK [V TPZZ +LSPILZ» º-SV^LY +\L[» ZPUJL [OPZ OHZ ILLU
the song used in British Airways adverts since 1989. Also
YLJVNUPZHISLMYVTJV\U[SLZZ;=WYVNYHTTLZHUKÄSTZPUJS\KPUN
:\WLYTHU9L[\YUZ4LL[[OL7HYLU[Z4PZÄ[ZHUK;OL0;*YV^K
=P]HSKP!º:WYPUN»MYVT;OL-V\Y:LHZVUZ
One of the most beautiful classical compositions ever written
HUKYHUKVTS`[OL0TWHJ[VMÄJLWOVUL»ZYPUN[VUL
Impact’s Favourite Picks
James Smyllie and Rebecca Hutter suggest a few
composers to get you started!
If you like dramatic music…
-YVT[OLL_WYLZZP]L[V[OLL_JP[PUN[V[OLQ\Z[WSHPUYH\JV\Z
classical music doesn’t hold back when it comes to drama.
Stravinsky’s ‘The Rite Of Spring’ even caused its offended
audience to riot in protest against the piece’s garish audacity.
0M `V\»YL HM[LY JVTWVZLYZ ^P[O H ÅHPY MVY [OL KYHTH[PJ [OLU
some names you should remember are Mahler, Shostakovich
and Wagner.
If you like uplifting music…
Some of the most uplifting music ever written comes from the
classical world. Handel’s ‘The Arrival of The Queen Of Sheba’,
Rossini’s ‘William Tell Overture’ and Bernstein’s ‘West Side
Story Overture’ are all guaranteed to lift your spirits. However,
if you’re after uplifting on an epic scale, then the majestic
44
3\KV]PJV,PUH\KP!º+PL[YV*HZH»
Anybody who’s ever watched This Is England will recognise
,PUH\KP»Z º+PL[YV *HZH» HZ VUL VM [OL ÄST»Z Z[HUKV\[ [YHJRZ
(SZV \ZLK PU ))* HK]LY[Z HUK VJJHZPVUHSS` PU )PN )YV[OLY
montages…weird.
,K]HYK.YPLN!º4VYUPUN4VVK»
Originally composed for Ibsen’s ‘Peer Gynt’, this song has
reached a modern-day audience through the likes of Warner
)YVZJHY[VVUZHUKWYVNYHTTLZZ\JOHZ-HTPS`.\`HUK;OL
Simpsons.
7`V[Y;JOHPRV]ZR`!º;OLTLMYVT:^HU3HRL»
Two words. Black Swan. Who can forget Natalie Portman
elegantly gliding across the stage to one of Tchaikovsky’s most
famous compositions?
9PJOHYK>HNULY!º9PKLVM[OL=HSR`YPLZ»
<ZLK PU JV\U[SLZZ ÄSTZ HUK [LSL]PZPVU WYVNYHTTLZ PUJS\KPUN
Apocalypse Now.
5PRVSHP9PTZR`2VYZHRV]!º;OL-SPNO[VM[OL)\TISLILL»
Originally written for a nineteenth century opera, Korsakov’s
º;OL -SPNO[ VM [OL )\TISLILL» PZ IL[[LY RUVÛ [VKH` MYVT [OL
SPRLZVM2PSS)PSSHUK+PZUL`»Z-HU[HZPH
(U[VUxU+]VYmR!º5L^>VYSK:`TWOVU`»
Remember the really quaint Hovis advert where the boy pushes
his bike up a steep hill? Well the song that documented this boy’s
Z[Y\NNSL^HZUVULV[OLY[OHU+]VYmR»Zº5L^>VYSK:`TWOVU`»
trumpet melody from ‘Journey To The Island’ - written by
John Williams for ‘Jurassic Park’ - is the perfect choice.
If you like relaxing music…
*SHZZPJHS T\ZPJ PZ NYLH[ MVY ^VYRPUN HUK YLSH_PUN [V 0M `V\
like chilled piano music like Einaudi, then have a listen to
the collection of ‘Songs Without Words’ by Mendelssohn, or
ZVTLVM[OLº5VJ[\YULZ»I`*OVWPU-H\YtVY3PZa[*OVWPU»Z
º*LSSV:VUH[HPU.TPUVY»HUKº;OL:^HU»MYVTº*HYUP]HSVM
the Animals’ by Saint-Saëns are sure to soothe any stresses
and provide the perfect soundtrack for any all nighters!
If you like contemporary music…
If you want to listen to some really wacky music, some
composers have started to go to great lengths to make their
T\ZPJIV[OH\KPIS`HUK]PZ\HSS`MHZJPUH[PUN1VOU*HNL^HZ
a pioneer in ‘prepared piano’, instructing performers to place
KPMMLYLU[VIQLJ[ZPUZPKL[OLWPHUVº4PJYV*VUJLY[V»I`4HJRL`
is written for percussion, 5 instruments, and even children’s
toys and kitchen utensils!
- AN ODE TO JOY
m
music
BEETHOVEN OR BAYWATCH
IS CLASSICAL MUSIC BEING DROWNED OUT BY THE OCEAN DANCE
FLOOR? -James Smyllie and Rebecca Hutter
Classical music is everywhere.
-YVT[OLPJVUPJ?MHJ[VY[OLTL[\UL[V;PLZ[V»ZIPNNLZ[JS\IIPUN
HU[OLT;=HK]LY[Z[VÄSTZV\UK[YHJRZHUK5VRPHYPUN[VULZ[V
[OLMVV[IHSSWP[JOJSHZZPJHST\ZPJL_LY[ZP[ZPUÅ\LUJLV]LYV\Y
everyday life whether one chooses to acknowledge it or not.
Yet, despite its dominance, it is still unable to shake its ‘boring’
and ‘old-fashioned’ image, causing even the most avid music
lovers to overlook its importance.
So how, despite its overwhelming emotional power and
comforting familiarity, can people convince themselves that
they have no interest in classical music?
Is it because people feel it is a subject that takes years of
study and practice to be able to appreciate? Or is it due to the
misconceptions and perceived ‘rules’ of the sterile concert hall?
Well, who wouldn’t be put off by the thought of sitting in
silence in a sterile concert hall full of retired pensioners who
frown at you for clapping at the wrong moment, for turning the
page of a programme during a quiet piece or even wearing
the wrong type of shoes? It’s unlikely to appear an appealing
invitation to anyone, conjuring up the dread of an exam hall
VY L]LU H YL[PYLTLU[ OVTL )\[ ÔH[ PZ MVYNV[[LU HTVUNZ[
these ‘formalities’ are the post-concert conversations initiated,
the emotional impact of such luxurious and overwhelming
sounds and, most importantly, the universality of the music. The
perceived elitism is only one small factor of classical music and
it is a great shame that the few pretentious concert-goers have
WYV]LKZVPUÅ\LU[PHS
Aside from the concert halls, which in their own right are often
works of architectural brilliance, the sheer diversity of classical
music itself is often limited to a few household name composers.
So what about contemporary composers such as Steve Reich,
Philip Glass and John Adams? These composers are drastically
different to works normally associated with ‘classical music’,
yet remain under the same generalised bracket of ‘classical’, a
term riddled with off-putting associations.
This being said, during exam periods, the role of classical music
KVLZ KYHZ[PJHSS` JOHUNL -VY [OL ML^ ^LLRZ PU 1HU\HY` HUK
June, it is not just the roles of Ocean and the Hallward that
are reversed; Ipods are replaced with classical radio stations
and late night revision sessions are accompanied by the lyrical
melodies of Beethoven or Einaudi. Many of my friends have told
me they listen to classical music the night before an exam in
an attempt to keep calm and concentrate. But, surely enough,
VUJL[OLSHZ[L_HTPZJVTWSL[L*HWP[HS-4PZYL[\ULKHUK[OL
TVUV[VUV\Z JOVYK WYVNYLZZPVUZ VM HUHSVNV\Z *OHY[ OP[Z
dominate the houses of Lenton once more.
Music societies, such as ‘mussoc’, ‘blowsoc’ and ‘opsoc’ offer
vast musical opportunities for people with an interest in music,
yet this music scene seems to be relatively unknown and,
ironically, unheard of by so many. In addition to the auditioned
orchestras and choirs, there are numerous other ensembles
that offer the opportunity for anyone to rehearse and perform
in regular concerts. The free bi-weekly lunch time concerts and
the large scale concerts put on each term are both examples of
the amount of music available in a way that is accessible and
not tainted by the aforementioned stigmas.
Image by Meurig Gallagher
-YVTVWLYH[PJ]PY[\VZP[`[V[OL[YHUX\PSWPHUVZVUH[HJSHZZPJHS
music can be as accessible as you make it and with such an
V]LYÔLSTPUN KP]LYZP[` VM Z[`SLZ P[ PZ PTWVZZPISL [V UV[ ÄUK
something to suit your emotion, mood or intellectual curiosity.
The sheer fact that music written hundreds of years ago still
has such a prominent role demonstrates its musical integrity.
*SHZZPJHS T\ZPJ OHZ Z[VVK [OL [LZ[ VM [PTL HUK JSLHYS` ^VU
Unlike the generic chart hits that are outdated after being
overplayed on a two-week radio loop, classical music should be
credited for its historical sustainability and malleability. It is only
YPNO[ [OLU [OH[ ^L ZOV\SK YLNHYK JSHZZPJHS T\ZPJ HZ KPNUPÄLK
rather than dull, beautiful instead of boring.
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM/MUSIC
45
m
music
impact
introduces
FARMYARD RECORDS
SUCKING LEMONS
-James Smyllie
¸;VILOVULZ[0Q\Z[ZPNUIHUKZ0SPRL¹X\PWZ;VTT`-HYT`HYK
HIV\[ OPZ SHILS -HYT`HYK 9LJVYKZ ;OL SHILS ILNHU IHJR PU
2009 and has gone from strength to strength, launching with the
ILH\[PM\S5H[HSPL+\UJHUHUKJVU[PU\PUN[VWPJR[OLILZ[MYVT
[OL \UPX\L HUK KP]LYZL 5V[[PUNOHT T\ZPJ ZJLUL -HYT`HYK
aims to nurture the music that Tommy and Nottingham locals
are passionate about and spread it to a wider audience. Today
-HYT`HYKIVHZ[ZSVJHSMH]V\YP[LZZ\JOHZ5V[[PUNOHT<UP]LYZP[`
Z[\KLU[.HSSLY`WVPZLKMVYUH[PVUHSZ\JJLZZTHZ[LYZVMSP]L
music, Manière des Bohémiens and the wonderfully soulful Will
1LMMLY`5V[VUS`[OPZI\[-HYT`HYKOHZHOHUKPU[OLIPNNLZ[
local music festival of the year; the Hockley Hustle. Tommy
certainly has good taste. If you don’t take our word for it, check
out www.myspace.com/farmyardrecords.
-V\UKLK I` 5V[[PUNOHT <UP]LYZP[` Z[\KLU[ 6SP :OPSSPUN HSVUN
with fellow editors Stew Green and Rich Multimer, Sucking
Lemons is a student run alternative music blog that provides
its readers with regular daily updates regarding the latest
releases, news, and reviews that cover both well-established
artists and those that are up-and-coming and unsigned. The
blog’s founders and 14 contributors, some of whom also go
to Nottingham University, collectively have a wide-ranging
and eclectic tastes in music covering artists across numerous
NLUYLZ ,]LU [OV\NO P[»Z VUS` ILLU HJ[P]L ZPUJL +LJLTILY
2009, Sucking Lemons has already been privileged enough
to interview the likes of Yeasayer and Everything Everything,
YLJVYKSP]LZLZZPVUZ^P[O;OL-\[\YLOLHKZHUK+Y`;OL9P]LY
HUK OH]L VYNHUPZLK U\TLYV\Z SP]L L]LU[Z ^P[O +1 ZL[Z MYVT
[OL SPRLZ VM )VTIH` )PJ`JSL *S\I :V MVY UL^Z YL]PL^Z HUK
interviews from the world of alternative music just head over to
www.suckinglemons.co.uk.
...Harriet has been listening to:
Marcus Foster – ‘Tumble Down’…
...James has been listening to:
Weezer – ‘Say It Aint So’…
-Harriet Brampton
LIVE REVIEW:
CHASE AND STATUS AT ROCK CITY – 13/03/11
-Jack Gilbert
Giants of the dub-step world Chase
and Status exploded onto the Rock
City stage to the delight of the eclectic
mix of people awaiting their arrival.
The hoards of excitable young teens
standing beside the older generations
was a true testament to the wide
appeal this band have generated,
and all concerned were left more
[OHU ZH[PZÄLK I` H ZL[ VM K\IM\LSSLK
carnage.
46
The tone was set immediately with the
vivacious ‘No Problem’, erupting the
audience into an orgy of euphoric head
IHUNPUN -VSSV^PUN [OPZ º,HZ[LYU 1HT»
gave us all a reminder of the band’s
past, with this more traditional dubstep format demonstrating the extent to
which their sound has evolved over the
years. A highlight of the night came with
the the unexpected arrival of Tempa-T.
He sprinted on stage to deliver the grimy
vocals for ‘Hypest Hype’, inducing more
Z^LH[ ÄSSLK YL]LSY` MYVT IV[O [OVZL VU
stage and behind the barriers.
The set, mainly featuring the band’s latest
album, ‘No More Idols’, was constantly
juxtaposed with their old-school classics
and it was hard to discern which received
a greater welcome from the audience. A
slightly mellower slice of drum and base
in ‘Take Me Away’ stood out as one of
the best moments of the night; it further
L_LTWSPÄLK [OL ZOLLY ]HYPL[` VM ÔPJO
*OHZLHUK:[H[\ZHYLJHWHISL;OLUL^
material sounded just as good though,
^P[O º)SPUK -HP[O» YVHYPUN IHJR H[ [OL
crowd as they screamed every lyric. This
song was also put in the encore, but this
time with a guest appearance from Liam
Bailey, whose powerful vocals provided
the perfect tone for the gig’s climactic
ÄUHSL
All in all I was left wondering whether it
was a rock show, or a drum and bass set.
<S[PTH[LS` P[ ZLLTLK [V TL [OH[ *OHZL
and Status have managed to use the
ÅL_PIPSP[`VMK\IZ[LWKY\THUKIHZZ[V
incorporate a more mainstream sound
which includes many genres of music.
The result was a unique and diverse live
ZOV^ ÔPJO LSLJ[YPÄLK 9VJR *P[` VU HU
otherwise dreary Sunday night.
...Harriet has been listening to:
Radiohead – ‘Sail to the Moon’…
t
THE CHANGING FACE OF CHINA
travel
SHANGHAI AND THE RISE OF MULTICULTURALISM
- Marlene Herman
In 1997, barely 7 years old, I moved
with my parents to Shanghai, China.
(M[LYSP]PUNPU;VYVU[VMVYÄ]L`LHYZH
city that I felt was my home, Shanghai
seemed like another planet. Being
chased by Chinese women wanting to
touch my German strawberry-blonde
curls, the abundance of bicycles, the
strange symbols that were apparently
H SHUN\HNL HUK HU KLÄUP[L SHJR VM
anything remotely North American –
well, I had some trouble adjusting to
life in the Orient.
Literally translated, Shanghai means
¸HIV]L ZLH¹ +\YPUN [OL 6WP\T >HYZ PU
the mid 19th century, the Americans and
British presided over the city and opened
the port’s international trade; it was this
act that began Shanghai’s ascent to
global economic importance. In the last
century the city has been a centre of
industry and politics, particularly during
[OL*OPULZL9L]VS\[PVUHUK[OL*\S[\YHS
9L]VS\[PVU +LZWP[L [OL [\YI\SLUJL
of its political regimes, Shanghai has
continued to grow both in physical size
and inhabitants, to say nothing of its
economic and global position.
Thirteen years later, both my parents have
ventured back. However, what was once
HNYV^PUNI\[KPZ[PUJ[S`*OPULZLJP[`^P[O
a population of 13.3 million is now an
unrecognisable metropolis of 17.4 million
more reminiscent of Manhattan dotted
^P[O *OPULZL JOHYHJ[LYZ HUK WHNVKHZ
[OHU[OL*OPULZLJVTTLYJPHSJLU[YL^L
had gradually come to know. Pudong, the
side of the river on which my dad used to
work in one of the only skyscrapers, is
now a jungle of steel towers and trendy
business eateries, bars and clubs. The
Jin Mao Tower, the tallest building upon
my departure in 2001, has since been
LJSPWZLK I` [OL >VYSK -PUHUJPHS *LU[YL
next to it - which in turn is about to be
literally overshadowed by yet another
construction. Still that is nothing
compared to the plethora of boutiques,
restaurants, and expensive Western cars
that have come to populate the streets.
Of course, as in all big cities, there are
the multitude of Starbucks that have
cropped up in the past decade or so.
However, where once there were perhaps
at most 20 dotted around the already
enormous city, Shanghai now boasts an
overwhelming 117 individual branches of
the international coffee sensation.
consumer culture, which some might see
as particularly ironic within such a fervent
communist regime. Where once ‘good’
meat could be bought from an Australian
butcher at the back of a large network
of apartments, masses of supermarkets
from all over the world have now
sprung up, providing the multicultural
masses with truly global gastronomic
possibilities.
Since 2001, ten new underground lines
have been added, each reaching a suburb.
A new network of highways running
above the ordinary streets connects
the suburbs to Puxi and Pudong, the
two sides of the city bisected by the
Huangpu River. These suburbs surfaced
to accommodate the growing local and
foreign population. While the Shanghai
4\UPJPWHS *V\UJPS JSHPTZ [OH[ [YHMÄJ
VYNHUPaH[PVU OHZ VMÄJPHSS` PTWYV]LK [OL
congestion hasn’t. According to my mum
it’s never certain how long it will take you
to get from A to B. Thank God for having
had a chauffeur; a staple for a lot of
foreigners even today.
It’s pretty clear that the Eastern World
in particular is changing. Shanghai
[VKH` SHJRZ [OL KPZ[PUJ[P]L *OPULZL MLLS
despite my dad’s observations that it has
YL[HPULKH*OPULZL¸Z[`SL¹PU[OLWHNVKHZ
HUK [YHMÄJ 5L]LY[OLSLZZ P[ PZ H [Y\L
tragedy that cultures across the globe
seem to assimilate more and more into
the Western ideal. The former pagodas
of Shanghai sit side by side with glossy
steel structures and Western boutiques
while Mercedes cars stand bumper to
bumper on the countless highways.
Shanghai has become an amalgamation
of every culture and a cosmopolitan
force to be reckoned with. One can only
imagine what will happen with the rest of
*OPUH
The expansion of the foreign community
over the years has created a rather large
Having surpassed Singapore as the
largest container port in the world,
West clashes with East on every street
JVYULYVM:OHUNOHP(Z*OPUH»ZLJVUVT`
booms, so does the working middle
class, and they like to spend their money;
this is a good thing as the prices have
increased in accordance with Shanghai’s
NYV^PUN.+7
“Shanghai seemed like another world...”
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM/TRAVEL
47
t
travel
MONKEYS ON MY BACK: FEAR AND
LOATHING ON THE TRAVEL TRAIL
- Richard Collett
You’ve heard it all before – drugs are
bad, they mess up peoples’ lives and
rinse your cash and that’s why the world
in all its wisdom has banned the hard
ones and the fun ones alike. However,
on the travel trail, the availability of
drugs is astonishing. Backpackers
have the chance to realise their own
hedonistic dreams, and in the fast
paced and carefree world of travel
THU` ^PSS ÄUK [OLTZLS]LZ [Y`PUN HSS
manner of different drugs for thrills
before leaving the scene behind
them in a blaze of pot smoke and
mushroom shakes. Casual drug use
is endemic amongst backpackers,
but many remain blissfully unaware of
the consequences they may face from
the law, or the effects drug tourism
and abuse can have on the local
community and, indeed, themselves.
Walking into a lakeside guesthouse in
7OUVT7LUO*HTIVKPH[OLOV[LSVÛLY
straightway enquired as to whether I
48
ISSUE 2010| MAY 2011
would need a room, and some marijuana
to go with it. I asked to see a room, and
upon entering the not so luxurious 2
dollar single he pulled out a huge bag
of cannabis, telling me I could have it all
for only 10 dollars. This was to be the
start of a period of experimentation and
revelation in a place where a massive
bag of drugs was the same price yet
easier to procure than the paper needed
to smoke it.
After some days spent on the lakeside
smoking with other travellers, and
generally seeing little else of the city
aside from the few streets around the
lake, I headed down to Sihanoukville,
*HTIVKPH»Z[V\YPZ[ÌLHJO[VÛZP[\H[LK
to meet up with some friends who were
holed up in a guesthouse called The
‘Happy Hippi’. The ‘Happy Hippi’ turned
out to be essentially nothing more than a
drug den, if a friendly one at that. Joe,
the Norwegian manager, was typical of
THU` VM *HTIVKPH»Z L_WH[Z S\YLK PU
by cheap thrills, lax laws and a corrupt
police force. He’d spent most of his life
on the move, escaping one dodgy deal
HM[LY HUV[OLY \U[PS OL ÄUHSS` ZL[[SLK PU
*HTIVKPH H JV\U[Y` ÔVZL SH^Z HUK
^H` VM SPML [YLH[LK OPT Q\Z[ ÄUL 1VL
‘created’, as he put it, all the drugs he
sold, claiming he wouldn’t sell anything
OLOHKU»[OPTZLSM[YPLKÄYZ[;OLYLZ\S[^HZ
`V\»K YHYLS` ÄUK OPT ZVILY OL»K IL \W
all hours of the day wandering round the
building on whatever twisted concoction
he’d recently been producing, amiably
chatting away to all the customers. His
set up was perfect for the stoner: bar,
restaurant, guesthouse and movie room.
Many people had been there for weeks,
if not months on end.
Strikingly however, the business was
next door to the town’s chief of police
and it became apparent that this was
the man who Joe bought his menagerie
of intoxicants from. The police chief,
on a purported salary of only 40 dollars
t
travel
a month, had two SUVS, a Jeep and
several motorbikes parked outside his
mansion. At one point he even offered to
drive us out of town to see his cannabis
ÄLSKZ HUK OH]L V\Y WPJ[\YL [HRLU ^P[O
AK-wielding guards to a backdrop of
TL[YL OPNO WSHU[Z *VYY\W[PVU ^HZ
YHTWHU[ `L[ KPMÄJ\S[ MVY H [V\YPZ[ [V
really condemn. We cannot simply take
the moral high ground when most local
VMÄJPHSZ[OLYLHYLVUS`JVYY\W[PUVYKLY[V
give their families a half decent chance
in life.
(M[LY V]LYZ[H`PUN T` *HTIVKPHU ]PZH
I realised the time was right to move
on. My next stop was Laos. In the 70’s
Paul Theroux described Vientiane, Laos’
now conservative capital, as a place
where “marijuana is cheaper than pipe
[VIHJJVHUKVWP\TLHZPLY[VÄUK[OHUH
cold glass of beer”. Times have changed
drastically in the city, but head north
[V =HUN =PLUN HUK `V\»SS ÄUK H ZJLUL
reminiscent of Hunter.S. Thompson on a
mescaline trip. Vang Vieng is renowned
for ‘Tubing’, an activity involving hordes
VM KY\URLU IHJRWHJRLYZ ÅPUNPUN
themselves into a river and drinking from
bar to bar – and where there are drunken
[YH]LSSLYZ [OL KY\NZ ÅV^ HZ [\YI\SLU[S`
as the Mekong River. Vang Vieng was to
be a revelation. Most people I met were
either trying to leave or had been there
far too long to ever leave. People were
in a strange, debauched limbo, torn
between the easy, drunken, wild days
and the realisation that this was not the
sort of travel they’d set out with in mind.
In South America, a similar tale is played
out on the backpacker trail. A friend told
me of places like ‘Route 36’ in Bolivia,
where coke is snorted in a carefree
environment. Many travellers enjoy
relishing in the sense of experimentation,
freedom and hedonism these places
provide but they should still be aware of
the potential consequences. It’s all too
easy to get swept up in the hedonism
VUS` [V ÄUK `V\YZLSM SPRL JV\U[SLZZ
before you, trying to leave a situation you
should have left long ago, and before
`V\ÄUK`V\YZLSMZ[\JRPUHIL^PSKLYPUN
cycle of penniless depravity, working
the local hostels and bars for little or no
pay, to support either your habit or new
found lifestyle.
4` ÄYZ[ KH` PU =HUN =PLUN 0 OHK H
harrowing look into the world of hard
drugs; An Englishman was pacing
up and down in the restaurant I was
laws. Sitting in a bar in Jakarta, for
instance, I met a guy whose brother
had spent the last year in jail after being
found guilty of possession of cannabis.
According to his story, he had purchased
some weed off a local in the street, only
to have the hotel room raided later that
night by police. The man’s brother and
a friend were both arrested and were to
stay in jail until either they completed
their four year sentences or paid the
KVSSHYÄULZVYTVYLWYLJPZLS`\U[PS
their families could come up with the
TVUL` >OPSZ[ [OPZ PZ H JSLHY ZL[ \W P[
illustrates the risk of dabbling in drugs in
developing countries where the law can
ILTVYLÅ\PK[OHUIHJROVTL
He kept muttering
about how he had
said he would
never come back
to this place, how
they had said they
would kill him if
ever came back...
but he had come
back anyway
eating at, talking away to himself in a
dazed neurotic way. He kept muttering
about how he had said he would never
come back to this place, how they had
said they would kill him if ever came
back, but he had come back anyway.
The Lao staff looked on indifferently,
simply serving around him and telling
\Z OL ^HZ VU ºJYHa` KY\N» -YVT [OL
local’s reaction, I assumed this was a
common occurrence here; drugged up
westerners traipsing around town in
their own intoxicated worlds was an all
too common phenomenon.
Later on I met a German man who’d just
spent the previous night in the local jail
cell until his friends came up with the
KVSSHY ÄUL /PZ Z[VY` ^HZ H ZPTPSHY
one told by travellers across Laos, he
was caught on the street smoking a
joint, so the police took his passport
and held him until he produced the
YLX\PYLK ÄUL 0U =HUN =PLUN [OL WVSPJL
actively went out of their way to cash
in on the drug use, regularly setting up
Westerners in minor sting operations
\ZPUN \UKLYJV]LY HNLU[Z *VU]LYZLS`
you could safely purchase anything from
weed and mushrooms to opium and
@HIIHHOPNOS`HKKPJ[P]LHTWOL[HTPUL
ÔPJO [YHUZSH[LZ HZ º;OL *YHa` +Y\N»
in all the bars in town. Step out on the
street though, joint in hand, and there’s
every chance you’ll be thrown in the
local cells for the night.
Travellers simply need to be more
aware of the effects that this form
of drug tourism can have. Whilst in
some countries it’s easy enough to
escape the law when in potentially dire
straits, others will have what seem to a
Westerner more corrupt and draconian
One of most weighty consequences
of drug use is not even to the traveller
himself; you should not underestimate
the effect that drug tourism can have
on local communities. Whilst it’s easy
enough to smoke an opium pipe with
some hill tribes, or experiment with
the sinister Yabba drug, the locals still
have to live with these drugs when
you move on. Many are addicted to
methamphetamines, harrowingly up
to an estimated 1 million in Thailand
alone, whilst others struggle with
opium habits with access to these
drugs being facilitated by the demand
which travellers provide. Although it’s
clear that a few travellers not buying
that second opium pipe in Vang Vieng
won’t stop the hard drugs trade, in a
region that produces the vast majority
of the world’s opium it’s still essential
that you question the effects on yourself
and the local community. On the trail,
things can certainly degenerate into
something decidedly more sinister than
a few backpackers sitting around getting
stoned all day.
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM/TRAVEL
49
t
travel
THE TRAVELLERS’ TRUNK
IN PURSUIT OF TOURIST CHIC
- Claudia Baxter
RONDA - DISCOVERING THE
LEGENDS OF ANDALUCÍA
- Dan Adams
My Dad once gave me a book, and that book was
Hemmingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls, a classic based
on his experience in the Spanish Civil War. In the novel
Nationalist sympathisers are thrown off the cliff in a
]PSSHNL ILSPL]LK [V IL [OL [VÛ VM 9VUKH PU (UKHS\JxH
Southern Spain. I was fascinated: an inland town built on
a precipice - I had to see it. So last month I took a week
VMM\UP]LYZP[`KVU»[[LSSVUTLHUKÅL^V\[[V(UKHS\JxH
to get lost in Seville’s labyrinthine streets, muse on the
cliffs of Ronda, party with the students in Granada, and
get some sun!
You’re on the home straight and only one hurdle remains
– it’s the baggage weigh-in, that unforgiving stretch of
Y\IILY[OLÄUHS[LZ[PU`V\YHK]LU[\YLZ[HUKPUNIL[^LLU
you and roast dinners. At this point there is one question
in many travellers’ minds; why did I buy so much crap?!
Like a ‘kid in a candy shop’, a bride at one of those all too
familiar videos of US wedding dress sales, you just can’t get
enough of the brightly coloured bargains on offer at every
turn of the street. Ones to eat, ones to wear, ones just to
decorate – it’s all too easy just to shop ‘till you drop’ or until
`V\JHU»[SPM[`V\YS\NNHNL+YP]LUI`HUPUMLJ[PV\ZKLZPYL[V
W\YZ\Lº[YH]LSSLYJOPJ»[OL\UKLÄULK[YH]LSSPUN[YHKLTHYR^L
succumb to every printed t-shirt, alpaca jumper and pair of
ali-babas. Seemingly useless items take on an all new appeal,
making you part with your pennies to purchase that delicate
handmade fan, ‘practical’ Vietnamese hat and light up replica
of the Eiffel Tower. But when is it ever hot enough to warrant a
MHU&>OLYLHYL[OLWHKK`ÄLSKZPUULLKVMHOHY]LZ[&(UKQ\Z[
ÔH[^PSS`V\KV^P[O[OVZLºÅHZO`»VYUHTLU[ZVUJLOVTL&
>OLU`V\OP[OVTLNYV\UKHKVYULKPU`V\YÄULZ[[YH]LSSPUN
attire, like a badge that screams cultured and worldly,
carrying a quarter of your bodyweight in souvenirs, you’re
untouchable. You emerge out of the arrival doors, golden
skin, unkempt hair, harem pants and enough ‘friendship
bracelets’ to sink the titanic. You are the epitome of cool, the
quintessential traveller.
Sadly that soon fades. The skin whitens, the hair gets brushed,
the trousers get tighter and the jewellery is reluctantly
removed. You begin to realise that you’re just not as much
of an individual as you thought when you were ‘living the
dream’. As for the souvenirs, well, they remain on your shelf
resolutely picking up dust, a trigger for reminiscence of a time
long gone.
50
Ronda was originally constructed over 2500 years ago, a
city on an outcrop overlooking a vast plain, and remained
a near-impregnable fortress throughout Andalucía’s varied
history. The Moors from North Africa who ruled Andalucía for
nearly 750 years built up much of the old town where greats
SPRL/LTTPUN^H`HUK6YZVU>LSSLZJHTL[VYLÅLJ[(Z[OL
population grew under renewed Spanish rule, a new town
developed on a neighbouring outcrop. Transportation was
naturally a problem so in the 18th century they built a bridge
to connect the outcrops.
;OLIYPKNLSVVTPUNTL[YLZHIV]L[OLJHU`VUÅVVY[VVR
32 years to complete and should be considered one of the
architectural masterpieces of the era. Looking over into the
YH]PUL PZ H ZJHY` ZLUZH[PVU HUK SLNLUK OHZ P[ (UKHS\JxH PZ
M\SSVM[OLZL[HSSZ[VYPLZ[OLHYJOP[LJ[MLSSMYVTOPZVÛIYPKNL
trying to etch his name onto the facade. After walking over
P[ZZOVY[L_WHUZL`V\ÄUK`V\YZLSMPUHUVSK[VÛ^P[OX\PL[
cobbled streets, whitewashed homes, an awesome ‘little
bandit’ museum, imposing churches and delicate convents.
Take the paths down into the ravine and see the underside
of the bridge and the small farms that dot the plain that
stretches to the distant mountains.
Ronda is about an hour from Malaga, a direct connection
from East Midlands airport. If you avoid the weekend you will
be rewarded with just the locals, the quaint shops and the
expansive views. One or two days is ample to see this small
city, with a population of only 35,000. Nevertheless visiting
there is a strangely humbling experience. After your visit
you can catch a bus or train to see the oranges of Seville,
the Alhambra in Granada, the beaches near Malaga, the
JO\YJOLZVM*VYKVIHVY[OL^PUKH[;HYPMHWLYMLJ[PM`V\RP[L
surf. Andalucía is as wild and diverse as it claims - and 22
KLNYLLZPU-LIY\HY`
HAS THE CELEBRITY
AUTOBIOGRAPHY LOST ALL NOVELTY?
a
arts&culture
- Priyal Dadhania and Hannah Redhouse
Question: what do Katie Price, Justin
Bieber, Aleksandr the Meerkat, and
Kerry Katona have in common?
Answer: they have all published
autobiographies documenting their
`V\UNHUKVYÄJ[PVUHSSP]LZ0[ZLLTZ
that an autobiography is the latest
must have for enterprising celebrities.
(SVUNZPKL Ä[ULZZ ]PKLVZ YLHSP[`
shows, calendars, and twitter updates
everyone and their meerkat gets to tell
their life story.
But what is the purpose of an
autobiography? Surely they should
be the stories of achievement and
inspiration, not everyday realisations
such as “I knew I would look sexier with
IPNNLY IVVIZ¹ )LPUN 1VYKHU The farce continued when sixteen year
old pop sensation Justin Bieber wrote
HIV\[[OL[YH\THZVMOPZÄYZ[KH[LOH]PUN
had spaghetti spilt down his clean
white shirt. Similarly, Michael McIntyre
KLZJYPILK PU KL[HPS KP[JOPUN OPZ 7*
and getting a Mac, “It’s gorgeous and
enormous and I bought it especially to
write my book”. Ultimately, you would
not ring home about your housemate
buying a new Mac, nor would it inspire
you to follow in their footsteps, but in the
world of celebrity autobiographies, these
banalities are heralded like the second
coming.
;OLKLÄUP[PVUVMHUH\[VIPVNYHWO`PZ[OL
story of one’s life written by oneself, and
so it follows that you would have one
published per lifetime. This is obviously
not the case in the celebrity world: Kerry
2H[VUH OHZ [OYLL +H]PK )LJROHT OHZ
three and Katie Price tops this list with
Ä]L 0YVUPJHSS` [OL SH[LZ[ PU OLY Z[YLHT
of life stories was called You Only Live
Once. This interest in celebrity life stories
seems then to be tireless.
It is also worth questioning whether
celebrity autobiographies overshadow
those of genuinely accomplished
individuals who have lived lives of merit.
5LSZVU 4HUKLSH ^YP[PUN HIV\[ OPZ ÄNO[
for freedom or Tony Blair discussing his
motives behind taking the country to war
seem incomparable to anything in Katie
Price’s latest offering, and yet they share
space on bookshelves and bestseller
lists alike.
Whilst these latter examples seem more
validated than autobiographies of say, a
glamour model, comedian, or pubescent
pop star, it is not to say that some
celebrity autobiographies are not a good
read. They may, and often do, provide
some light humour and entertainment.
But where does the boundary lie? Is it
okay for celebrities to have a new story
of their life published every year? Should
JOPSKYLU PU [OLPY [LLUZ IL YLÅLJ[PUN VU
a career which has not yet peaked? It
seems that for the Twitter generation,
the need for a constant stream of inane
detail about celebrity lives has eclipsed
the novelty of the autobiography. So,
with celebrities spending their prime
years writing about their lives, it could be
that they are forgetting to live them.
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM/ARTS
51
a
arts&culture
THE CROCUS GALLERY:
SUPPORT ING A CREATIVE COMMUNITY
- Kim Smith
You may not know this, but little Lenton
is host to its very own art gallery. The
*YVJ\Z .HSSLY` PZ Z[PSS PU P[Z ÅLKNSPUN
stages, but is already making a big
impact on the local community. The
initial vision was to create a voluntary
led artistic enterprise in the Church
Square Shopping Centre, in the heart
of Lenton. This dream came into
fruition in May 2010, as a response to
the Empty Shops project, which aimed
to inspire the formation of creative
community
spaces
nationwide.
The establishment of the Crocus
.HSSLYÌLULÄ[Z [OL SVJHSP[ÌYPSSPHU[S`
considering the shop had been
gathering dust for over four years, and
now serves an innovative purpose that
many can appreciate.
Presently, the gallery relies on funding
to keep its doors open to the public and
the scheme has initially been supported
I` 5V[[PUNOHT *P[` *V\UJPS HUK SVJHS
JV\UJPSSVY+H]PK;YPTISL;OLNHSSLY`WSHUZ
to become an independent organisation
in the coming year, which shows great
potential for extending their good work,
after its initial success. The gallery has
52
hosted a wide range of exhibitions, of all
mediums of artwork, from local artists as
^LSSHZ[OVZLMYVTMHY[OLYHÄLSK
Gallery manager Alyn Mulholland
expressed that a key mission of the project
is “not only to provide opportunities for
artists to exhibit but also to provide those
who aspire to work in arts management
an opportunity to learn all aspects of
running a gallery”. Individuals wishing to
volunteer are welcomed, and it seems
an ideal opportunity for students in
particular. In the tough job market that
we are inevitably gravitating towards
it is becoming increasingly important
to gain valuable work experience, and
volunteers at the gallery can get stuck in
with organising events, fundraising and
marketing.
I spoke to Alice Thickett, a graduate of
-PUL(Y[MYVT5V[[PUNOHT;YLU[<UP]LYZP[`
H[ *YVJ\Z .HSSLY`»Z SH[LZ[ VWLUPUN HUK
she explained the incredible experience
she has gained from volunteering. In
a short space of time Alice has been
encouraged and supported to realise her
ambitions through the close community
VM [OL *YVJ\Z .HSSLY` HUK OHZ UV^
become the lead curator at the gallery,
learning how to run a gallery and coordinating exhibitions for the public.
;OL *YVJ\Z .HSSLY` ILNHU ^P[O [OL
seed of an idea, and has rapidly grown
HUK ÅV\YPZOLK \UKLY [OL H[[LU[PVU HUK
commitment of the voluntary community,
proving that with hard work and a whole
lot of passion, small projects such as this
can develop into something spectacular
that a local community can really be
proud of. The future looks promising as
the gallery is considering new initiatives
such as open art critic sessions and a
series of mini lectures to help aspiring
artists on their way.
HELEN MOULINOS: PASSIVE AGGRESSION
& ROB DIGWEED: IF ONLY THEY HAD KNOWN…
@ CROCUS GALLERY
- Kim Smith
Upon entering The Crocus Gallery
on opening night I was pleasantly
surprised at the high quality of the
gallery itself - bearing in mind it had
previously been an empty shop! I was
impressed by how much the volunteers
had achieved in putting together such
a well organised and professional
show. The gallery played host to two
`V\UN HY[PZ[Z /LSLU 4V\SPUVZ» ÄYZ[
solo show was an interesting take on
how the urban world of today can be
threatening, confusing and isolating,
in the face of modern technology and
the startling impact of the media.
However, it was the smaller exhibition
VM ^VYR KPZWSH`LK I` 9VI +PN^LLK
in the back room of the gallery which
really captured my imagination. The
multi-talented University of Nottingham
NYHK\H[L L_OPIP[LK OPZ T\ZPJHS ÅHPY ^P[O
OPZ IHUK ;OL 9VILY[ +PN^LLK 8\HY[L[
in addition to his “retro perspective”
graphic based work. His artwork
incorporates present day experience of
media, combined with historical events,
which creates an interesting fusion of
ideas and provokes questions pertaining
to our modern day existence.
STEF CARTWRIGHT
@ LAKESIDE ARTS CENTRE
- Anne Moore
After graduating from Nottingham
Trent last year, Stef Cartwright is
JLSLIYH[PUN [OL VWLUPUN VM OLY ÄYZ[
solo exhibition. This intimate and
intriguing exhibition showcases nine
black and white portraits printed on
glass and wax, inspired by Victorian
memorial imagery.
Stef’s fascination with this theme began
whilst studying for her photography
degree and also provided the material for
OLYÄUHSKLNYLLZOV^:WLHRPUN[V:[LM
I learned that wealthy Victorian families
VM[LU [VVR H ÄUHS WOV[VNYHWO VM [OLPY
loved ones after their death, sometimes
with the whole family posing next to
them.
Enlisting her own friends and family,
Stef’s portraits emulate this tradition.
Each person was arranged under a single
light, left to relax and captured peacefully
dozing. The resulting images are not
morbid but beautifully calm. Every portrait
is the same, a head and shoulders shot,
PUWYVÄSL@L[L]LY`WVY[YHP[PZ\UPX\L;V
appreciate these photographs you must
peer at them, scrutinising each facial
feature. These are faces transformed
by a private sleep, the closest a living
human comes to death. “There was
originally one of me” explained Stef. “A
lot of people didn’t know it was me, or
found it hard to identify others that they
knew”.
I wondered what Stef’s subjects thought
of this ghostly alteration. Scarred by a
texture which looks like brushstrokes, the
portraits appear indistinct and ethereal.
“A lot of them really like it” she said, “the
women more than the men for some
reason!”
-VSSV^PUN
JVU]LU[PVUHS
KHYRYVVT
techniques, each square of wax and
glass was coated with emulsion and
dipped in a chemical base, printed in the
same way as a paper photograph. “Once
you get the technique sorted, it only takes
an evening per photograph” Stef said. “It
was the wax which was awkward; it’s
quite a precise art”.
Whilst Stef’s work reminds us of the
tenuous link between life and death, it
brings no sense of impending doom.
Instead viewers are prompted to see
dignity and grace in these death-like
faces.
a
arts&culture
Blagger’s Guide to…
PHOTOGRAPHY
-Grace Mitchell
Are we artists? Artists take
photographs to document culture,
and so do we. We take the photos,
edit them and splash them all
over the internet. If Facebook
is our exhibition space, are our
photographs really that different
from those we see in glossy
magazines, or exhibited at the Tate?
Really, we are no different from
American pop artists like Ed Ruscha,
whose series of artist’s books
consisted
of
badly
composed
photographs of repetitive and banal
subjects – such as his ‘twenty-six
gasoline stations.’ However, looking
beyond initial preconceptions, the
art in Ruscha’s work is not about
composition, perspective or viewpoint,
it is about the concept: documenting
his world. Surely we use our cameras
to the same effect.
Whether you know it or not, you will
OH]L ILLU \UJVUZJPV\ZS` PUÅ\LUJLK
by one of these photographic heroes,
so next time you see the names Nan
.VSKPUVY3HYY`*SHYR0\YNL`V\[VZ[VW
and take a look. These two infamous
counter-culture
photographers
of the 70s and 80s challenged
HY[»Z KLÄUP[PVU VM J\S[\YL ^P[O [OLPY
highly sexualised and drug focused
perspectives. Also worth considering
is Richard Billingham, a key modern
photographer who exposes the raw
truth of his every day struggle with his
alcoholic father in ‘Ray’s a laugh.’
The commercial sale of digital cameras
in the 1990s has changed the nature
of photography and this combined
with excessive use of the Internet has
created the photo-culture we have
today.
The snapshot style of Turner prizewinner Wolfgang Tillman is probably
JSVZLZ[ [V V\Y -HJLIVVR WOV[VZ
looking into recording the lifestyles of
his friends. What I argue is that the
concept of taking photographs on a
night out echoes the work of these
great artists. Are these photos an
unconscious visual expression, part of
our struggle to establish ourselves in
the world?
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM/ARTS
53
fo
food
FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD
- Aoife Buttimer
Food – a simple word that can
have a different meaning for
everyone. For some it is just a
simple energy provider, enabling
them to get from A to B. For others
food has a deeper meaning. It is
a source of comfort, a pick-meup for when they are feeling low.
One thing is for sure; the feelings
food conjures up go far beyond
its mere biochemistry. Food is a
universal topic because, at the
end of the day, we all need to eat
to survive. But at university, do we
know how to eat right? Just how
many of us actually understand
the difference between calories
and cholesterol, and do those who
do actually care? Impact perused
the recent Students’ Union Food
and Drink Survey, and had a chat
^P[O ZVTL Z[\KLU[Z [V ÄUK V\[
just what they’ve been consuming
since they came to the University
of Nottingham.
The survey certainly highlighted the
changes in diet that we undergo when
we get to university. With more than
half of respondents eating onsite 1 to
3 times per week, and convenience
ILPUN [OL TVZ[ PUÅ\LU[PHS MHJ[VY
when determining where people ate,
health isn’t necessarily prioritised
by many students when it comes
to their choice of eatery. In the
survey, our on-campus food outlets
were deemed ‘Ok’, but over half of
us felt that our diets had become
worse since we arrived at university.
Some of this must surely come
down to the food on offer in catered
accommodation. My own most vivid
memory of hall food – that of half a
butternut squash cooked to within an
inch of its life, with just a tiny burnt
dollop which I think may once have
been brie cheese – will stay with me
for a long time. My view was shared
with many of the students in my halls.
As well as quality, the nutritional
value of the average hall dinner is a
concern; with the multiple deep fried
carbohydrate options and custardy,
stodgy desserts on offer, it can be
]LY` KPMÄJ\S[ [V ZOV^ ZLSMYLZ[YHPU[
and opt for a large helping of veg
instead.
54
ISSUE 210| MAY 2011
The survey revealed that convenience
– with 44.6% of surveyed students
answering as such – is the most
PUÅ\LU[PHSZ^H`PUNMHJ[VYHZ[VÔLYL
we eat. This perhaps is not surprising,
HZ HM[LY HU HSSUPNO[ Z[PU[ ÄUPZOPUN
H KPMÄJ\S[ LZZH` [OL SHZ[ [OPUN VU
our most people’s minds would be
hunting down the ingredients for an
organic Nicoise salad – the ease of
NYHIIPUN H ZHS[` WHJRL[ VM +VYP[VZ
HUKH+PL[*VRLPZMHYTVYLYLHSPZ[PJ
Plus, with the range of fruit and
veg on offer in the shop at my hall
of residence - that being a dodgy
looking bag of potatoes and a few
soft apples - the inspiration to cook
healthily is not all that strong at any
time of day. In regards to the foods
[OH[ ^L HJ[\HSS` LH[ [HZ[L ]V[LK[OPZ[OLTVZ[PTWVY[HU[MHJ[VY
TVUL` HUK OLHS[O are key. It’s interesting to note that
health does not play a huge factor in
where we choose to eat, but is made
a priority in what we choose to eat
when there.
Without the watchful eye and
ÄUHUJLZ VM V\Y WHYLU[Z THU` VM \Z
may not see a wholesome dinner in
a fortnight. But there is no shortage
of strong beverages to be found in
our cupboards, as just under 80%
of students are drinkers. This leads
to inevitable hangovers, and with
hangovers come cravings for salty,
fatty food. “Kebabs?
However, it’s not all doom and gloom
in relation to our food choices.
There are of course many students
out there who take much care in
deciding what they eat, and try to
do well by their bodies by going the
extra mile and choosing food around
campus based on nutrition, not price
or convenience. Generally students
will get much healthier options by
cooking for themselves, too. As for
the rest of us, it’s worth noting that
service provided in food outlets was
the area of the survey in which the
most positive response was received
– 52.8% voted in approval of our
university catering staff. So even
if the food is a bit dodgy and the
options are few, at least we’re getting
service with a smile!
It’s easier to be
healthy now I’ve
stopped going
to catered uni
dinners
(AMY GRIFFITHS)
“It’s just such a
hassle. It can be
quite inconvenient
getting fresh fruit
and vegetables,
and these foods
are quite expensive.” (GWAWR PARRY)
They’re not just
for drinking, I
have them anytime!
(DUSAN COISIC)
“I started cooking
for myself, making my own soups
– they help me
watch my weight
and diet.”
(AMY GRIFFITHS)
fo
food
Curry in a Hurry...
William Robertson
‘Sod it, let’s order in’, is perhaps the most likely thought
of the sofa-bound student in search of spice. And why
not? It’s cheap, easy, and can taste pretty good. More
intrepid kitchen explorers reach for the stir-in sauce, but
these always leave you feeling that something in the way
VMÅH]V\YPZTPZZPUN:[LWMVY^HYK[OLZPTWSLOVTLTHKL
curry; this recipe is cheaper – not quite as easy, granted,
but guaranteed to be much tastier.
What you’ll need
(serves 2)

Two chicken breasts, diced - although this curry will
work with any meat, or even prawns
6ULJHY[VUVMZPUNSLJYLHT\ZLJVJVU\[TPSRPM`V\
ULLKHUHS[LYUH[P]LK\L[VHSSLYNPLZHUK[OLSPRL
One can of chopped tomatoes
Spices - if you can, buy ground coriander, cumin,
and cardamom. If you can’t be bothered then a
ready-prepared ground spice pack would work
Two onions
;^VJSV]LZVMNHYSPJVW[PVUHS
Instructions
*OVW \W HUK MY` [OL VUPVUZ HUK NHYSPJ PM `V\»]L NV[ P[
in a large pan with a liberal glug of cooking oil until they
are just going golden, Then, if you can, blitz them in a
blender; this will give the dish that curry restaurant edge.
Keep the onions in the blender for the moment, and add
the spices to the empty frying pan with a splash of oil.
This might seem odd, but cooking the spices on their own
YLHSS` IYPUNZ V\[ [OLPY ÅH]V\Y *VVR [OLT VU H TLKP\T
heat for a couple of minutes and then add your choice of
diced meat and fry until brown.
Add your fried and blitzed onion to the meat and spices,
HUK JVVR VU H OPNO OLH[ MVY HIV\[ Ä]L TPU\[LZ 2LLW
stirring this and make sure it doesn’t burn on the bottom.
The Sauce of
Inspiration
William Robertson
7YV[LPU& *OLJR *HYIZ& *OLJR =LN& 0M `V\»YL S\JR` :H\JL&
Ah. It’s all too easy to forget sauces when making dinner, and
PM VUL KVLZ YLTLTILY RL[JO\W ZLLTZ [V IL [OL ÄYZ[ JOVPJL
of condiment for most. This is where the roux sauce steps
in. Although it might sound daunting, this classic but simple
-YLUJOZH\JLJVTWYPZLZVMQ\Z[I\[[LYÅV\YHUKTPSR0M`V\NL[
this one right, it opens the door to so many saucy dishes. Below
MVSSV^ZHMHPYS`MVVSWYVVMTL[OVKVMTHRPUNHYV\_HUK[OLUH
selection of just some of the dishes you can make with it.
Instructions
Melt around 2 tablespoons of butter in a pan on a medium
heat, and when fully melted, add about two tablespoons of
WSHPUÅV\YHS[OV\NOPM`V\VUSÒH]LZLSMYHPZPUNVYHUV[OLYRPUK
RPJRPUNHIV\[PU[OLJ\WIVHYK[OLU[OH[»ZÄUL[VJYLH[LHZVM[
paste. Add around about half a pint of milk very gradually whilst
stirring continuously. Before long, you should have a smooth,
thick sauce. If the starch starts to cook through, causing the
sauce to become too thick, just add more milk. Add seasoning
to taste.
Mushroom and bacon sauce –-Y`
bacon and sliced mushrooms in a separate pan, and add to
[OLÄUPZOLKZH\JL*HUILLH[LU^P[OJY\Z[ÌYLHKPM`V\»]L
JVTLV]LYHSS-YLUJOYPJLVYZ[PYYLKPU[VWHZ[HHZHJHYIVUHYH
substitute.
Lasagne – The roux is an intrinsic part of this Italian
classic, poured in between layers of sheet pasta and tomato
sauce.
Cheese sauce – Just the basic recipe, but with the
cheese of your choice melted in. Great just poured on pasta.
Fisherman’s Pie – *VTIPUL[OLZH\JL^P[O
JVVRLKÄZOHUKLNN[VW^P[OTHZOHUKIHRLPU[OLV]LUMVY
the ultimate comfort food.
Now add the can of tomatoes and two or three teaspoons
of salt, and cook on the hob on a medium to low heat for
half an hour until brown. Stir occasionally to make sure it
doesn’t stick to the bottom.
Mix in the cream and cook for a couple of minutes. Season
to taste, and serve! Eat it with naan bread, poppadoms,
or rice. You could go for all three if you’re greedy like me.
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM/FILM
55
BEING SUPERHUMAN
AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SPECIAL
They stupefy science, revolutionise modern medicine, accrue worldwide media attention,
and yet still go on about their daily business like the rest of us. No amount of televised
appearances will stop these guys from trying to live their normal lives. Here, we introduce
to you an eclectic bunch of individuals science can only best describe as superhuman. Some
of their stories are inspiring, others tragic, all of them astounding. Prepare to be amazed...
The World’s
Strongest Baby
Lifting 5lb weights, performing
pull-ups and shifting furniture
HYL KPMÄJ\S[ [HZRZ MVY THU`
adults. Yet Liam Hoekstra
from Michigan has been able
to do all that since the age
of 3. This is because Liam
has 40% more muscle mass
and much less fat than other
children his age. His adoptive
WHYLU[Z ÄYZ[ UV[PJLK [OH[ OL
had unusual abilities when
he could perform the Iron
*YVZZ · H N`TUHZ[PJZ TV]L
involving suspending yourself
IL[^LLU [^V YPUNZ · H[ [OL
HNL VM Ä]L 3PHT ^HZ [OLU
diagnosed with Myostatinrelated Muscle Hypertrophy.
;OPZKPZVYKLY^HZPKLU[PÄLKPU
humans in 2000, and is so rare
that the prevalence remains
unknown. There are no known
health complications, but
heart problems may occur in
the future. However, at the
age of 5, Liam is a promising
athlete and a possible answer
to muscle wasting diseases
Z\JOHZJHUJLYHUK(0+:
Sophie Meyjes
56
One Very Beautiful
Mind
+HUPLS ;HTTL[ PZ H ZH]HU[
someone with an area of
exceptional expertise; his
specialities
are
numbers
and
languages.
He
is
mentally able to calculate
any maths problem given to
him and demonstrated this
by calculating the irrational
number Pi to 22,514 decimal
places in 5 hours and 9
TPU\[LZ +HUPLS HSZV ZWLHRZ
ten languages; he was seen
having a deep intellectual
conversation in Icelandic on
a talk show seven days after
beginning to learn it. His
language instructor called him
“not human” and a “genius!”
+HUPLSOHKLWPSLWZ`HZHZTHSS
child and has been diagnosed
with Asperger’s Syndrome,
which is a high functioning
form of autism. Scientists
believe that it’s the epilepsy
and autism combined that
OH]LNP]LU+HUPLSOPZHIPSP[PLZ
+HUPLS PZ J\YYLU[S` ^YP[PUN OPZ
own language called Mänti,
has two bestselling books
and resides with his partner in
London.
Phil Bowyer
80% Brainless,
100% Normal
A 44 year old married civil
servant came into the hospital
with a leg complaint. His
medical
history
showed
that he had suffered from
Hydrocephalus as an infant.
Hydrocephalus,
meaning
‘Water Brain’ in Greek, is a rare
JVUKP[PVU ÔLYL ZWPUHS Å\PK
accumulates in cavities within
the brain and causes the head
of the sufferer to enlarge.
;OV\NO ZVTL Å\PK OHK ILLU
drained until he turned 14, MRI
HUK *; ZJHUZ ZOV^LK [OH[ H
lot of it had built-up in what
YLZLTISLKHIHSSVVUÄSSLK^P[O
water, but actually turned out
to be his brain. Astonishingly,
further scans showed that
this “balloon” had only about
20% of normal human brain
matter left. In fact, his brain
had been whittled down to a
paper-thin layer of tissue due
the accumulation of spinal
Å\PKZ ;V [OL IHMÅLTLU[ VM
medical professionals, he had
managed to lead a normal life
despite this condition.
Sarah Greenidge
A Stranger To Pain
In Gabby Gingras’s world,
there is no such thing as
WHPU · ÔPJO PZ Ô` ÔLU
she was just an infant, she
managed to poke herself
blind in her left eye and had to
have all of her teeth removed
to stop her from chewing her
hands to bloody pulps. Her
disorder, known as congenital
insensitivity to pain with
anhidrosis, has seemingly left
OLY^P[OV\[[OLULY]LÄIYLZ[V
sense pain. Her parents have
to remind her to blow on hot
food before putting it in her
mouth, and she never goes to
bed without her swim goggles
· H ULJLZZHY` WYLJH\[PVU
to protect what is left of her
severely impaired vision. Her
disorder is so uncommon that
doctors speculate that only
about 25 people suffer from
it in North America. Now a
bubbly ten-year old, Gabby
continues to lead as normal a
life as her condition can allow.
Eric John
s
science
Seeing Without
Sight
Surviving The
Impossible
The Real Octopus
Man
A 13 Year-Old in an
80 Year-Old’s body
Ben Underwood had both
of his eyes removed after
suffering from retinal cancer
at the tender age of three.
Remarkably, by the age of
fourteen, he’d learnt that,
through making a clicking
sound with his tongue
and detecting the subtle
echoes, he could work out
his environment in a manner
similar to dolphins. This
echolocation enabled him to
play basketball, rollerblade in
the streets and ride his bike
without hitting cars or people.
It meant that he could walk to
school alone, being able to
“see” parked cars, benches
and the edges of a pathway
^P[OV\[ OPZ L`LZ +LZWP[L OPZ
blindness, he lived his life like
a “normal” teenager, receiving
no special treatment for his
disability. Ben was a good
L_HTWSLZHKSÒLKPLKVM[OL
ZHTL JHUJLY H[ VM OV^
disadvantages in life do not
always hold us back, but can
instead make us great.
On the 13th September 1848,
just outside Vermont, one
railroad constructor survived
the seemingly impossible.
+\YPUN
HU
HJJPKLU[HS
explosion, a 3 foot long pole,
1 ¼ inches in diameter, shot
through the head of Phineas
Gage, destroying the left
frontal lobe of his brain.
Miraculously, not only did he
survive this incident but hours
later was walking and talking.
Gage spent the next few
weeks in a semi-comatose
state and despite severe
haemorrhaging, an infection
and lack of modern medicine,
only suffered from loss of
vision in his left eye and partial
paralysis of the left side of his
MHJL +Y 1VOU /HYSV^ ÔV
attended Gage, also noted a
change in his personality: he’d
become more impatient and
indulgent. But all considered a
slightly altered personality is a
small price to pay for surviving
against the odds.
Rudy Santos was born
with a very rare condition
that has left him with
extra limbs from his
underdeveloped parasitic
[^PU9\KÒHZHYTZHSS
^P[O ZOV\SKLYZ SLNZ
and an additional pair of
UPWWSLZ -\Y[OLYTVYL HU
ear and extra tufts of hair
can be found attached to
his sternum. Rudy’s nails
ÄUNLYZHUK[VLZHYLHSZV
double sided, suggesting
that his twin’s nails
developed alongside his
own. He claims that his
extra limbs often move
without his consent.
However, despite of his
KPMÄJ\S[PLZ 9\K` ^HZ
HISL [V ÄUK ^VYR H[ H
travelling freak show,
where he eventually met
his wife. He now has
to face the dilemma of
having his spare limbs
removed due to severe
health problems. But
maybe he’s just a little bit
too attached to his twin.
Having featured in the
*OHUULSZLYPLZ,_[YHVYKPUHY`
People, Hayley Okines is
no ordinary 13-year old girl
from Bexhill, East Sussex.
She has Hutchinson-Gilford
7YVNLYPH :ÙKYVTL /.7:
and consequently ages at
seven times the normal rate.
Progeria is an exceedingly rare
disease caused by one single
genetic mutation. It currently
affects only about 50 people
worldwide, giving them an
average life expectancy of 13
years. Whilst this devastating
disease leaves intellect intact,
it has resigned Hayley’s tiny
body to the weak and fragile
state of an elderly woman.
Typically, signs of ageing start
[VHWWLHYPU[OLÄYZ[`LHYVMSPML
causing the skin to become
wrinkly and loose, and
resulting in hair loss and stiff
joints. A large and shrunken
head with a hooked nose
give Progeria its distinctive
characteristics. Hayley is
currently taking pioneering
medication that appears to be
slowing the ageing process,
although there is currently no
cure for the disease.
Jess Reynolds
Doñah Sabbagh
Bonnie Brown
Bethany Moos
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM/SCIENCE
57
scared and crying cub. But at the same
time, who were we to think we knew
better than its mother?
Biologists all over the world agree that it
is the encroachment of high level industry
and agriculture on the environment that
has caused a drastic and rapid decline
in species and regional extinctions.
*VUZLY]H[PVU LMMVY[Z HYL ZLLU I` ZVTL
as a process capable of reversing the
loss of natural biodiversity caused by
human activity. On the one hand, animals
are returned to their habitats – diversity
can be maintained and the animal will
stand a chance of ‘having a life’. But
on the other, by concentrating on the
individual animal and reintroducing it, the
whole ecosystem is being ignored and
an animal is being put back into the very
habitat that rejected it. Often animals are
released only to be found dead or ill after
a short period of time, or have habituated
to humans and are in danger of putting
themselves in a risky situation. Then the
ethics of rehabilitating a wild creature
become less clear.
Image by Jesamine Bartlett
TO REHABILITATE OR NOT
TO REHABILITATE
- Jesamine Bartlett
There is no doubt about it – being
hugged by a black bear cub is one of
the highlights of my life to date. As is
having a purring bobcat nestled in my
lap whilst I wrote my daily journal, or
a dozen baby racoons ‘combing’ my
hair with their soft, dexterous paws.
All of these wonderful moments were
courtesy of the time I spent working in a
wildlife rehabilitation centre in Canada.
The centre specialises in rehabilitating
sick, injured and orphaned native
mammals back into the wild. Release
days were wonderful, especially when
you had raised the animals yourself,
but I had persistent doubts the whole
time I was at the centre. I felt like I was
meddling with Nature.
Wildlife rehabilitation on the face it seems
to be a virtuous and wonderful thing.
It re-establishes our connection with
nature, claims to redress environmental
‘imbalances’ and offers humans an outlet
for compassion. But does the attention
58
we give to individual animals repair
injustices done to the ecosystems they
are part of, or is it just a small plaster over
the gaping wound of our conscience?
I found myself face to face with my
issues on rehabilitation after a cougar
cub was brought in. He had been found
alone and scared in parkland after being
HIHUKVULKIÒPZTV[OLY*OHYTPUNSÒL
had a penchant for eating my shoes and
JOHZPUN I\[[LYÅPLZ /LHY[Z TLS[LK )\[
as the months passed his development
seemed impaired. He wasn’t growing as
fast as hoped and was walking with a
drunken swagger. Several experts came
and concluded that he had a degenerative
bone disease and would need treatment
everyday for the rest of his life if he was
to survive. They also remarked that his
mother probably knew this and that was
why the cub was abandoned. The cub
was eventually sent to a zoo where he is
living out his days, but with what quality
of life? It was tough. You would have to
be pretty heartless to walk away from a
Animals exist by virtue of their
integration with the ecosystem, and
by individualising the plight of the
ecosystem the anthropomorphism of
animals is encouraged. In fact, many
charities involved in animal welfare
survive by attributing human sensitivities
to animals to encourage donations
of time and money from the public. I
questioned the director of the charity I
was working with about this and was
told that any degree of public awareness
^HZ ILULÄJPHS [V [OL VYNHUPZH[PVU HUK
therefore animal welfare, even if it meant
encouraging short-sightedness.
The
public are often involved in a world with
little to do with Nature, so maybe any
increase in awareness or any effort to
help people connect to the environment
THÌLVMILULÄ[L]LUPMP[KVLZJOLYY`
pick the details.
Where emotions overrule ecology
the results seem to ignore the bigger
picture and often prove detrimental to
[OL ZWLJPLZ PU [OL SVUN HUK ZVTL[PTLZ
ZOVY[[LYT)\[ÔLYLLJVSVN`V]LYYPKLZ
emotion it seems to go against our
every instinct to protect life. And such
contradictions may continue for a long
time, at least as long as we continue to
encroach upon the Natural World or until
welfare organisations can interpret their
actions as part of a larger picture.
s
science
SYNAESTHESIA: ONE OF THE HUMAN
BRAIN’S GREATEST MYSTERIES
-Bethany Moos
Colourful numbers. Tasty words.
Musical colours. Once confused with
Schizophrenia, Synaesthesia is now
recognised as the association of
two or more senses. In short, when
a stimulus is detected, an additional
sense is involuntarily stimulated.
:VTL WLVWSL L_WLYPLUJL H ZWLJPÄJ
taste, smell, colour or sound with
certain words or numbers, but any
number and combination of senses
may be fused together to create an
explosion of sensory information.
Although two people may both have
the same type of Synaesthesia, the
sensation induced by the same trigger
may be very different, even between
twins. For example, the letter ‘A’ may
appear blue to one person, yet orange
to another. This is very different to the
learned associations between colours
and emotions, such as the relationship
between the colour red and anger.
Newborn babies are born with millions
of connections in the brain, but not
all of which are needed. Normally
many of these connections die off,
but it is believed that failure to lose
these connections leads to ‘crosswiring’ within the brain, resulting in
Synaesthesia. Although the majority
of people with Synaesthesia are
born with it, a temporary state called
‘Pseudosynaesthesia’, can be induced
by drugs or injury to the brain, such as
a stroke or epilepsy. The mechanism
for this, however, is still very much
unclear.
In Britain alone, there are more than
half of a million people living with over
60 different types of Synaesthesia,
making it much more common than
was originally believed. A condition
ÄYZ[ UV[LK I` [OL HUJPLU[ .YLLRZ
Synaesthesia appears to run in
families and tends to be slightly more
common in women. It isn’t a disease or
mental illness and many people view
their condition as a gift. Indeed, many
ÄUK [OLPY :ÙHLZ[OLZPH [V IL \ZLM\S
improving their memory skills and also
ILPUN VM ZVTL ILULÄ[ [V WYVÄJPLUJ`
in literacy and numeracy. However,
Synaesthesia is also reportedly
associated with having more trouble
differentiating between left and right
and a poorer sense of direction. Those
SP]PUN ^P[O [OL JVUKP[PVU TH` ÄUK P[ H
distraction and hindrance to every-day
tasks if it becomes overpowering.
“I have a friend whose wife tastes of
vomit —I’ve never told them. Another
friend is earwax, his wife is dry coffee
granules and his son is plastic car
interiors”, one Synaesthete comically
describes his experience of the tastes
induced by different people.
The painter Kandinsky heard certain
sounds when he used different
coloured paints and even described
in his youth how his paint box used to
hiss at him whilst he mixed his colours.
/PZ ^VYR ^HZ Z[YVUNS` PUÅ\LUJLK I`
music, and he called it “the ultimate
teacher”. The French musician Olivier
Messiaen recounted receiving his
music in “coloured dreams”, in the
form of a complex coloured pattern.
Other famous Synaesthetes include
Marilyn Monroe, Leonard Bernstein,
Billy Joel, Stevie Wonder and Pharrell
Williams. As can be seen from this list,
people with Synaesthesia are often
very creative and gifted musicians,
writers or artists. In addition, many
have used the concept of Synaesthesia
as a source of inspiration for creative
work.
Scientists are currently studying
the
underlying
mechanisms
of
Synaesthesia. With this knowledge, the
hope is to improve the understanding
of other conditions involving abnormal
connections within the brain, such
as Autism, Schizophrenia and ADD
([[LU[PVU +LÄJP[ +PZVYKLY +Y :PTVU
Baron-Cohen,
from
Cambridge
University, is a world-renowned expert
on Autism. He is currently devoting
much time to the exploration of
Synaesthesia and its links to Autism, a
condition in which sensory perception
can often be altered.
Because of the reckless sanitation of astronauts, most space debris orbiting the earth is
covered in human faeces.
Curcumin, a chemical commonly found in Indian curries, has anticarcinogenic effects that
could lower one’s risk of getting colon cancer.
Thinking for extended periods of time about eating certain foods can reduce the amount
you will end up eating of it in real life.
wtf!
ACHOO syndrome is the condition of sneezing uncontrollably to unusual stimuli, such as
sunlight.
WEIRD but
TRUE FACTS
A shaken rather than a stirred martini is twice as effective at removing hydrogen peroxide,
making it a better antioxidant.
People witnessing a rubber hand being stroked at the same time as their real hand (which
is hidden from view) can be fooled into believing that the rubber hand is their own.
IMPACTNOT T INGHAM.COM/SCIENCE
59
n
nights
THE NIGHTLIFE OF
TOMORROW...TODAY?
-Adam Dawes
There has never been a better time to
organise a night out. We can call, text,
instant message, e-mail and, in the past
few years, have been able to set up
events, invite our friends and buy tickets
using the internet and social networking
sites. We can put together a great night
out with all our mates, and know exactly
who will and won’t be there without
even getting out of bed. With such
organisational resources available to us
in the present, Impact begs the question
- what does the future hold for nightlife in
Nottingham?
Though students may be able to do all
of the above without breaking a sweat,
sometimes a night out can be a thorn
in the side, stuck in days in advance.
/\UKYLKZ VM Z[\KLU[Z ÄSS [OL 7VY[SHUK
Building queuing for tickets to some
events, and many, many more near
impale themselves on railings desperate
to force their way into the venue. Text
tickets have, in recent times, helped
the situation, yet savvy students can
circumvent the system just like they
can with Orange
Wednesdays.
But
there may be a better
solution.
Pioneered
in
Birmingham
and
heading to our fair
JP[` ZVVU 4VÅV^ PZ
a system set up by
two ex-Nottingham
students,
Matt
Johnson and Andrew
3H^YLUJL -VY [OVZL
of us who struggle
to keep hold of cash
and tickets on nights
out, which seemingly
become more elusive
and hard to keep
hold of as the night
gets longer, heavier
and much blurrier,
4VÅV^ JV\SK OLSW
Based on London’s
6`Z[LY *HYK Z`Z[LT
you pre-load event
tickets and credit
from the company’s
60 ISSUE 210 | MAY 2011
^LIZP[L VU[V [OL 4VÅV^ JHYK @V\Y
card is swiped on entry and can then be
swiped to pay for drinks until you run out
of credit.
This really could revolutionise the way in
which we go out, effectively eliminating
the issue of queuing throughout the
night. Taxi companies are starting to
PUZ[HSS4VÅV^ZJHUULYZPU[OLPY]LOPJSLZ
meaning that students may not need
to have any cash on a night out at all.
So those tiny clutches and skinny
jean pockets can be kept comfortably
slackened!
When trying to plan a night online, it’s not
uncommon for students to go trawling
[OYV\NOWHNLHM[LYWHNLVM5L^Z-LLKZ
HUK MYPLUKZ» WYVÄSLZ KLZWLYH[L [V
discover events and promotions across
town. Rosie, a third year English student
remarks, “It’s really irritating when you
OH]L[VZJYVSS[OYV\NO-HJLIVVRSVVRPUN
for a night out. It’d be better if there was
a just a page with all the night’s events
on it.” There may not be a page on
-HJLIVVRHIV\[P[I\[HZ^LOH]LUV^
ILLU JVUKP[PVULK [V ILSPL]L [OLYL PZ HU
App for that.
Bar Buddy is an application that was
set up by two more ex-Nottingham Uni
HS\TUP(SL_/VVSL`HUK4H[[OL^*SLNN
Though only in operation since January
of this year, they have developed a
relationship with over 20 bars and clubs
across the city. These participating
establishments can upload any offers,
events and promotions they have on
any night of the week, which can then
be accessed and used by anyone with
an iPhone. Not only that, but due to
being channelled through a phone, Bar
Buddy can upload this information in
real time, so if drinks offers change, or
any breaking event occurs, students can
check it out and get the best night and
the best value for money possible.
*SLHYS`^LJHUZLL[OH[[OLYLPZHO\NL
scope for innovation in nightlife, and
Nottingham is at the forefront of it.
Also, we should be heartened that in
[OL J\YYLU[ LJVUVTPJ HUK NYHK\H[L
LTWSV`TLU[ THYRL[ L_5V[[PUNOHT
University students are developing ideas
not just for saving us money, but making
our nights out better and safer. We might
not be able to predict the future, but for
now, we can see that it’s bright.
n
nights
Images by Rachel Tait
ALL YOU CAN
READ BUFFET
-Mim Etchells
It will one day come to pass that ‘a
moment on the lips, a lifetime on the
hips’ is a true concern for all of us, but
PM`V\HYLLUQV`PUN[OLILULÄ[ZVM[OL
unrealistically fast student metabolism
alongside the all too familiar concern
about value for money, you should
be taking advantage of the student
heaven that is the all-you-can-eat
buffet. As many students spare little
regard for the state of their arteries
yet constantly worry about the state of
[OLPY ÄUHUJLZ [OLZL HYL ZVTL VM [OL
best buffets in town.
for the price. Peachys nudges ahead
of Red Hot in terms of sheer range and
quality, but what truly sets it apart are its
ten ‘live cooking stations’ where chefs
await personal orders from diners from
an array of naan breads to the perfect
stir fry. Red Hot does claim to offer this
same service, though it seems to be
SLZZVMÄJPHSHUKTVYLHJHZLVMJH[JOPUN
the eye of a passing chef. The only
drawback to this inspired idea is that it
is only available in its full force at dinner,
and thus we implore you to visit Peachy
Keens after 5.30pm to experience it in its
true, yet slightly pricier glory.
Since you’re going for unlimited quantity,
why shackle yourself to the cuisine of
just one country? Nottingham is home
to several multi-cuisine buffets, the two
most prominent of which are Peachy
Keens on Upper Parliament Street and
Hockley’s aptly named Red Hot World
Buffet, both providing an ample selection
of everything from Thai to Mexican and
not forgetting the buffet’s seemingly
mandatory chocolate fountain. Both
restaurants are priced competitively,
with lunch setting you back a mere
£6.95 or £7.95 and dinner an acceptable
£10.95 to £12.95 depending on the day.
Peachys accessible central location
beats the slightly seedy walk through
Hockley to reach Red Hot, yet once
inside, the latter’s decor is classier than
the setting suggests. A clear effort has
been made to lay the restaurant out
more thoughtfully than Peachys evident
strategy of cramming customers in
ÔLYL]LY[OL`»SSÄ[
If you’re looking to eat to excess at
lunchtime, you need look no further than
May Sum, undoubtedly the most popular
VM 5V[[PUNOHT»Z THU` *OPULZL I\MML[Z
Holding its own just a few doors down
from Peachy Keens, May Sum is perhaps
alone in offering an equally good range
of food during the day as at its ‘Grand
Evening Buffet’. Everything from crispy
duck pancakes to the ample amount of
vegetarian dishes is available at a quality
which is sadly not the norm in all such
establishments. Unlike its now-extinct
JVTWL[P[VY)PN>VR4H`:\T»ZLMÄJPLU[
headset-attired staff seat you at a table
that makes you feel that you are in a
restaurant, not a canteen. Their proximity
to Big Wok seems to have taught them
H ML^ SLZZVUZ [OH[ [OL *VYULYOV\ZL»Z
IYPNO[HUKZOPU`-SHTPUN+YHNVUOHZU»[
quite grasped yet; May Sum’s excellent
value for money and friendly atmosphere
KLSP]LYZHZPTWSLJHZLVMJSHZZV]LYÅHZO
However, Peachys does exude a slightly
more professional vibe compared to the
rather quirky layout of its competitor. In
terms of quality of food, you will always
have to compromise somewhere in a
restaurant that offers everything but on
the whole both do a good job, especially
Whilst we may be spoilt for choice of
buffets in Nottingham, this doesn’t mean
we shouldn’t be discerning. Try these
places out, and though you may leave
slightly too full, you won’t be feeling
regretful and the contented smile on
your face will see you itching to go back.
Perhaps leave it a day or two in between
though.
IMPACTNOT
T INGHAM.COM/NIGHTS
IMPACTNOT
T INGHAM.COM
61
61
n
nights
A STUDENT
GUIDE TO
COCKTAILS
-Adam Dawes
When faced with the prospect of visiting
an upmarket establishment in town and
picking one of many options on a list to
drink, many students feel intimidated
and confused by what makes a good
cocktail, and what they should say and
do. Worry no longer, because Impact
is here to help ease your concerns and
what’s more, we might just be able to
help you get a great drink out of it.
;OL ÄYZ[ [OPUN `V\ JHU»[ [HRL PU[V H
JVJR[HPSIHYHSVUN^P[O[YHPULYZOVVKPLZ
HUK JHWZ PZ HU` ZVY[ VM WYLQ\KPJL VY
favouritism towards any spirit. Blended
in a skilful manner, with the correct
ingredients, almost any spirit base can
be made to taste like anything, so be
adventurous, and look outside the box
There is one exception to this rule –
vodka. Though not tasteless, vodka is
a staple of many “cocktails” because
it doesn’t tend to add an extra
KPTLUZPVU VM ÅH]V\Y 0M `V\ ^HU[ [OH[
save yourself a packet and buy some
alco-pops, because this article just
became irrelevant to you. If you like the
sweetness of a Sex On The Beach or a
Woo Woo, plump for Rum. This versatile
spirit has roots all over the world, and
is made from sugar cane, so has an
PUOLYLU[Z^LL[ULZZHIV\[P[+YPURZZ\JO
as the Mojito and variants on Tiki drinks
will tick the box for any adventurous
sweet-tooth.
Some students think that whiskey is
strictly for men, and that drinks served in
martini glasses are strictly for girls. This
couldn’t be farther from the truth. The
4HUOH[[HUHZ[HWSLIL]LYHNLMVY*HYYPL
JV PU :L_ HUK [OL *P[` PZ HSTVZ[ HSS
rye whiskey – a much drier variety than
bourbon. Also, some of the greatest
and most simple drinks to begin with
are served ‘straight up’. If you’re going
V\[ZPKL `V\Y JVTMVY[ aVUL MVY [OL ÄYZ[
[PTLHZRMVYH5H[\YHS+HPX\PYPHISLUK
VMÔP[LY\TJHZ[LYZ\NHYHUKSPTLQ\PJL
and you won’t be disappointed.
Some drinks, such as the aforementioned
62 ISSUE 210 | MAY 2011
Manhattan and the Martini, have different
variations within them, which causes
great headaches and hurried choices
from bamboozled students. Hopefully,
this will clear it up for you. When making
either of these drinks, before the main
ZWPYP[ Y`L ÔPZRL` NPU VY NVK MVYIPK
]VKRHPZHKKLKZVTL]LYTV\[OPZ\ZLK
to coat the ice. With a Martini, it is always
dry vermouth. With a Manhattan, it can
ILHJVTIPUH[PVU0M`V\»YLHÄYZ[[PTLY
go with a Sweet Manhattan, where only
Z^LL[ \Z\HSS` YLK ]LYTV\[O PZ \ZLK
and progress down to perfect, where a
balance of sweet and dry is achieved.
With a Martini, dry vermouth is always
used, and the “wetness” depends on
how much is left in. If you’re like Winston
*O\YJOPSS ÔV KLTHUKLK [OH[ OPZ
drink only saw the bottle of vermouth
and none of its contents, you’ll take
it dry. If you want a complex group of
ÅH]V\YZ [HRL P[ ^L[ ;V Z[HY[ ^P[O HZR
for it perfect. Having a “dirty” Martini
simply means that a little olive brine is
added to the drink to add saltiness, with
a few speared globes popped in your
drink. The cardinal rule for all Martinis
and Manhattans, no matter what the
combination, is that everything MUST
be ice cold.
Bear in mind when indulging in a cocktail
that roughly two shots of alcohol will be
in each drink, so if you want to savour
[OVZL ÅH]V\YZ HSS UPNO[ WHJL `V\YZLSM
*VJR[HPSZ ÔLU THKL JVYYLJ[S` [LUK
not to be cheap, so take your time,
enjoy their nuances and check out the
menu for the ingredients to see if you
can taste each one. There’s no need to
be intimidated, as bartenders generally
love to talk about drinks, and if they
know what they are doing, they will
always help you. Bear all of this in mind
next time you step into a cocktail bar in
Nottingham, and you’re bound to have a
great night, full of discovery.
If you want to know more about how
to make cocktails and the history
of them, check out The Bartender’s
Blog on the Impact Website – www.
impactnottingham.com
THE TEAM
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
+H]L1HJRZVU
Associate Managing
Editor
Rachel Taylor
PR and Distribution
Managers:
Sam Tully
Alice Hajek
Advertising Manager
Jack Shields
News Editors
)LU4J*HIL
Emily Sargent
Natasha Smith
Sports Editors
Lowri Wyn Morgan
Joseph Lobo
Tim Edwards
Associate Editors
Stephen Lovejoy
:HYHO+H^VVK
Samantha Owen
Design Editor
Andrew Speer
Associate Design Editor
Matt Turner
Image Editors
Bruno Albutt
Tara Wallace
Alix Blankson
Helen Miller
WEB
}
Editor
.HIYPLSSH+L4H[[LPZ
DESIGN
}
Managing Editor
James Sanderson
EDITORIAL
}
}
MANAGEMENT
Web Editor
Ben Wadsworth
Associate Web Editor
Ollie Small
Vanessa Brown
Style Editors
*OHYSV[[L.LSPW[LY
Jasmin Watts
Arts Editors
Victoria Urquhart
Michael de Vletter
Film Editors
/HUUHO*VSLTHU
Lucy Kenderdine
Music Editors
Rosie Kynman
ISSUE
210
CONTRIBUTORS
SECTIONS
Travel Editors
Ruth Edwards
Eleanor Simpson
GRATIS
Nights Editors
(KHT+H^LZ
Lucinda Richardson
Rachel Boyle
Science and
Technology Editors
Eric John
Philip Bowyer
Alan Selby, Toby Karenowski, Helen Trimm,
1VL;VKK-PVUH*YVZI`/LSLUH4\YWO`
*HSS\T7H[VU5PJOVSHZ)H[[`=PUJLU[7HUN
James McAndrew, Eleanor Porter, Priyal
+HKOHUPH:[LWOHUPL:VO:PHU)V`SL1VZO
-YHZLY1\Z[PUL.VSK3VPZ-PLSK1LUUPMLY
Newbold, Katie MacKay, Ellie Blanchette,
*OHYSV[[L9V[[LUI\YN1VZO-YHURZ1HTLZ
4J(UKYL^)LU1HTLZ0TVNLU-PY[O1VULZ
James Smyllie, Rebecca Hutter, Harriet
Brampton, Jack Gilbert, Marlene Herman,
9PJOHYK*VSSL[[*SH\KPH)H_[LY+HU(KHTZ
Hannah Redhouse, Kim Smith, Anne Moore,
Grace Mitchell, Aoife Buttimer, William
Robertson, Sophie Meyjes, Sarah Greenidge,
+VUHO:HIIHNO1LZZ9LÙVSKZ)VUUPL
Brown, Bethany Moos, Jesamine Bartlett,
Mim Etchells
THANKS
To everyone who went the extra mile to get
this troublesome issue completed!
O V E R H E A R D I N H A L L W A R D APOLOGIES
GABBY DEMATTIES
Stroke her back and make a gentle purring noiseSunshine makes me sickNot once
have you looked like Beyonce;LSS[OLÄZO[VZ[VWTHRPUNHTLZZHe’s getting male
OV[Å\ZOLZIf only I had another paperclipNext time JUST SAY NO Going on holiday as
soon as its handed in Don’t do the dance next to the window Ocean comin’ atchaaa
The fattest egg mayo baguette in the world So many disgusting implications Less
the library and more my new home I am feeling reem;OPYKÅVVY[OLUVIHU[LYaVUL
I hate him, and his tiny girlfriend Like Oscar Wilde but less glam Def the smallest
thingy I’ve ever seen No doubt that I’ll be dead by the end of this dissertation Tragic
OHPY[YHNPJÅPWÅVWZ :SLLWVU[OLÅVVYUVVUL^PSSUV[PJL I promise, she’ll never
look you in the eye again Fetch me the potted plant Can we please go to the park
now? Red pen means your essay is terrible Lick it real good But if Glee’s on then
I can’t go Stop staring at the lump, it’s not nice Filter coffee of DEATH You can’t be
sick in the corridors Cram a bit of sour cream in there I’d rate myself a 10 out of 10
Bring me a bottle of white wine Suffocating on your JLS man-scarf No revising, only
big chat Next time she says it, punch her hard Shakespeare’s little bi-atch I have
nothing against the hairier man Twenty Cup-a-Soups in a day Powering through the
misery and frustration Fifty quid per genuine pull Get your hands off my lovely sushi
I’m a skim-reading artiste
To Becky-Spicy Artour for calling her Bex
(YJOLY,]LY`VULOLYLH[[OLVMÄJLOVWLZZOL
had fun on Tsour to help forget about this
mistake.
COVER IMAGE
Image by Helen Miller and Alix Blankson
CONTACT
The best way to contact us is via email, on
magazine@impactnottingham.com-HPSPUN
[OH[`V\JHUÄUK\Z\ZPUNÔPJOL]LYVM[OL
following details takes your fancy:
Impact Magazine, Portland Building,
University Park, University of Nottingham,
Nottingham,
5.9+
Tel: 0115 8468716
6\YVMÄJLPZPUYVVT*PU[OL7VY[SHUK
Building, opposite the East Concourse Lounge.
Published by The University of
Nottingham Students’ Union
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