September 8, 2000 - Virginia Law Weekly

Virginia Law Weekly
The Newspaper of the University of Virginia School of Law Since 1948
THOMAS JEFFERSON
Around
North Grounds
Thumbs down to
the big huge ugly
mess in the parking
lot after Dandelion
Parade. You got time to make it,
you got time to clean it up.
Thumbs up to the
two incredibly responsible students
who did clean it up.
Brooms and trashbags in the early
a.m. on Saturday — the Law School
thanks you!
Big thumbs down
to first-year section
F. If you throw
things at the crowd
at Dandelion Parade, make sure
they’re soft. If you choose to throw
hard things, better make sure they
don’t fall in someone’s drink, splattering them from head to toe in
red punch. If you choose to throw
hard things in bystanders’ red
drinks, better make sure that said
bystander is not an editor for the
Law Weekly.
Journal tryouts for second-year
students are this weekend (Sept.
8) and next weekend (Sept. 15). If
you have any questions, contact
third-year Susannah Stroud at
sjs9f@virginia.edu.
Thumbs up to the
first-year class’s involvement in public
service. These guys are just filling
up every meeting room. Go 1Ls!
Perhaps some of the $30 million for the recent renovations
should have been designated for
maintenance of the already-existing space? Not only does a trash
can stand in the center of WB 154
to collect the rain as it drips in
through the ceiling, but a large
wall panel in the back of the room
has fallen off and is leaning against
the wall. Better stick it back up
there before someone steals it.
Thumbs up to
Professor
G.E.
White for admitting
that he waits breathlessly for the Law Weekly to arrive
every week.
Huge thumbs up
to
Professor
O’Connell for his
spirited rendition of
Mickey from Rocky. You won the
parade for Section I.
In this issue:
Student Scholarly Lunch
Series Schedule ..... p. 4
Love in the Air ....... p. 6
This traffic median may soon
be transformed into a First
Amendment park. See page 3.
Vol. 53, No. 3
Friday, September 8, 2000
Subscriptions Available
2000 Dandelion Parade: The “I”s Have It
Feisty O’Connell Helps Usher in the New Semester
Section B’s social outcasts were delion ship and got the first-year
by Will Homiller ’02
An afternoon that featured a quickly followed by Section C and class back on track.
Section D brought to life the
rapping rabbit, President Clinton, its tribute to President Clinton
classic film “Dazed and Con13 kinds of adult beverages, dozfused” with tie-dyed colors and
ens of sexual innuendoes, and
wild party attitude. While they
Professor O’Connell in a boxing
refrained from paddling memmatch could only be summed up
bers of Section B, they were
with three words: The Dandesaid to be meeting up later that
lion Parade. On Friday, the Law
night for a kegger at the tower.
School held its annual tribute to
Section E, donning bunny
the Commissioners, softball, and
teeth and led by a human-sized
Dionysian indulgence as the
Energizer bunny, boasted their
first-year sections treated the
Energizer-like stamina and
student body to candy, drinks,
served potent “Battery Acid” to
and a show that they probably
the Commissioners through a
won’t want to remember.
funnel. Their exhibition was
With an audience crowded on
capped by a raging drum solo
either side of the D2 parking lot
and rap performed by the Eneroutside Caplin Auditorium, the
gizer bunny himself.
first-year floats ran the gauntSection F added a little Mexilet of critical upper-class stucan flavor to the parade with its
dents in alphabetical order with
raucous Fiesta float. Scatterthemes relating to each section’s
ing pieces of candy and confetti
designated letter.
into the crowd, the members of
Section A kicked off the fesSection F danced by the Comtivities with its A-Team float,
missioners to sexy Latin
featuring the beloved characters
rhythms. With sombreros, pifrom everyone’s favorite Soldiers
natas, Coronas, and bodies
of Fortune. They promptly repainted like the Mexican flag,
turned to the Los Angeles unthese first-years caught the eye
derground to help people who
of many upperclass students.
could find them.
Third-year Jenni Wieland loved
Section B protested the enphoto by Brian Gist
Section I brought out Professor
their effort, noting, “Excellent
tire idea of the parade with its
fairly uninteresting Boycotters O’Connell as their float’s centerpiece. choreography! And good use of
the electric slide!”
float. Not only did they elect to
Section G paid homage to Probypass the traditions of the pa- and the Secret Service. Employrade, they also elected to bypass ing the use of lewd signs and a fessor G.E. White by collectively
any chance of eating lunch with bevy of Monica Lewinsky look- undergoing G.E. makeovers and
alikes, the C float righted the Dan- naming themselves the G.E. White
the cool kids this year.
Law Library Features
New Photography
Exhibit, RFK Memorial
brary from 4:30 to 6 p.m. All stuby Jonathan Riehl ’02
Two new exhibits have been re- dents are invited to attend.
Library Director Taylor Fitchett,
cently put on display in the Law
Library. In the entrance alcove, a in her third year at the University,
bust of Robert F. Kennedy stands in mentioned that she hopes the topic
front of a glass-etched panel featur- of the exhibit will stimulate intering a quotation from the 1951 U.Va. est among student on the topic of
child labor.
law gradu“When I arate. The bust
rived here I
was dedimet David
cated at last
Martin,” she
year’s public
added, “and
service conthere is cerference,
tainly a group
which was
of students
attended by
here who are
Kennedy’s
involved in
son, Maxphoto by Brian Gist
these issues.”
well Taylor
New art graces the walls of the
The library
Kennedy —
library.
has set aside
also a Vira number of books on child labor,
ginia Law graduate.
Also, a series of several dozen available in the area across from
original photographs by nationally the Reference desk.
Parker’s work has been pubacclaimed artist David L. Parker
have been hung on the second floor lished in book form, accompanied
walls. The exhibit, which is titled by text on the problems and issues
“Stolen Dreams,” features varying associated with child labor worldimages of child labor in the develop- wide, including the United States.
ing world. Parker’s work has been Stolen Dreams: Portraits of Workdisplayed in a number of formal ing Children was published last
settings in recent years, including year by the Lerner Group.
Fitchett was first exposed to
the law libraries of other universiParker’s work when it was disties.
Parker, an occupational health played at the University of
physician as well as a photogra- Cincinnati’s law library, where she
pher, will be speaking about his served as director for 12 years, prior
work here at the University on Mon- to her move to Charlottesville. She
day, September 18. He traveled ex- hopes to feature a different art distensively in Latin America and play in the library each year. Last
South East Asia assembling the pho- year the library showed works by
tographs for this exhibit, and study- four artists, in various mediums.
While Parker’s work is preing child labor work conditions.
There will be a slide presentation sented, previously displayed painton the 18 from 3 to 4:15 p.m. in ings have either been relocated or
WB102 and a reception in the lisee ART page 3
Printed on
recycled paper
All-Stars. Accompanied by
indiscernable, bass-heavy tunes,
the All-Stars wore “Tort Me Baby!”
jerseys and cautioned audience
members to “drink at your own
risk.”
Section H brought a little class
to the event with its Hugh Hefner’s
House of Harlots and Hustlers.
After an intricate dance routine
by bunny-tailed babes and robed
hunks, they announced to the
crowd, “In Section H, we don’t play
softball, we play hardball!” While
their performance was appreciated
by all, it was a bit overshadowed
by the distribution of Playboys and
Playgirls to the crowd. Asked why
this float was her favorite, secondyear Nykia Jordan explained,
“Hello… free porn!”
Section I brought the house
down with its Rocky-themed, “I of
the Tiger” float. Professor Jeffrey
O’Connell made a guest appearance, training a prize-fighter who
defeated a series of opponents with
knockout punches. O’Connell,
dressed in sweats and a knit cap,
took several hard hits but won the
crowd with his tenacity and fiery
dedication to boxing.
Section J followed with a float
that posed the question, “Where
Would We Be Without the Js?”
Carrying signs like “_esus,” “_im
Beam,” “_udge _udy,” and “Paula
_ones,” the Js did make a case for
having the least important letter
see DANDELION page 3
Slaughter Hall
Today
➔
“Freedom of religion, freedom of the press;
freedom of persons under the protection of the
habeas corpus; and trial by juries impartially
selected, — these principles form the bright
constellation which has gone before us, and
guided our steps through an age of revelation
and reformation.”
Proposed
Renovations
➔
Slaughter Hall Shuffle
by Rich Bland ’01
As part of a larger plan to increase the visibility and overall
attractiveness of the Public Service Center, Law School Dean
Robert E. Scott has decided to
reshuffle almost all of the student
organizations, legal journals and
some student services from their
current locations in Slaughter
Hall to new locations within a
newly refurbished Slaughter.
“The Public Service Center
needed a proper space,” said Assistant Dean Bill Bergen, on behalf of Dean Scott, in an announcement this Monday before an audience of leaders of student organizations. “It had kind of been an
afterthought,” said Bergen referring to the Center and its evident
importance at the time of the
plans to renovate the entire Law
Grounds. However, Bergen made
it clear that Dean Scott feels the
new Center has come to need a
better, more visible location to
make it an even more attractive
resource and career choice for all
students.
Dean Kimberly Emery, Director of the Public Service Center,
was very enthusiastic about the
move: “Our hope is that all students will become more aware of
the Public Service Center and be
more likely to stop by and meet
staff and learn about the services
we provide.”
Next summer, the exterior of
Slaughter will undergo a facelift
in which the second floor offices on
the exterior will get full floor-toceiling windows below the existing ceiling-level windows. On the
interior, the Public Service Center will move to the second floor
closer to current Career Services
and Admissions offices.
The other major change will be
that all student organizations will
be located in new offices, allocated
by SBA, along the interior hallway of Slaughter. Taking their old
rooms upstairs, all journals except for Virginia Law Review and
the Journal of International Law
will be moved or given improved
space, as to be determined by Dean
see SLAUGHTER page 3
2
Student Voice
Virginia Law Weekly
Jury Box
What was your most memorable
Dandelion Parade experience?
Amy Payne, 3L: “My narrow escape
from being kissed by a saucy Bill Clinton.
Luckily, he kissed my roommate,
Susannah Stroud.”
Norrinda Brown, 2L: “Observing second and third-year law students resorting to stealing alcohol from the first-years
when all they have to do is walk down to
Harris Teeter and buy it.”
Stacey “Rocky” Rose, 1L: “Riding in
the truck with Jeffrey O’Connell, listening to him impart golden nuggets of legal
wisdom from under a coat as my sectionmates consumed massive quantities of
alcohol and banged on the outside of the
truck.”
Shane Smith, 3L: “Getting a face-full
of tequila from my friends in Section F.”
Editorial Policy
The Virginia Law Weekly publishes letters and columns of interest to the Law School and the
legal community at large. Views expressed in such submissions are those of the author(s) and not
necessarily those of the Law Weekly or the Editorial Board. Letters from organizations must bear
the name, signature, and title of the person authorizing the submission. All letters and columns
must either be submitted in hardcopy bearing a handwritten signature along with a disk containing
the file, or be mailed from the author’s email account. Submissions must be received by 5 p.m. the
Monday before publication and must be in accordance with the submission guidelines posted on the
door to the Law Weekly office in Rooms SL277 & SL279. Letters over 500 words and columns over
700 words may not be accepted. The Editorial Board reserves the right to edit all submissions for
length, grammar, and clarity. Although every effort is made to publish all materials meeting our
guidelines, we regret that not all submissions received can be published.
Virginia Law Weekly
Editorial Board
Rich Bland
Editor-in-Chief
Amy Collins
Sarah Shalf
Executive Editor
Senior Editor
Tarah Grant
Managing Editor
Howard Chang
Amy Kobelski
Columns Editor
Reviews Editor
Jonathan Riehl
Jackie Sadker
News Editor
Features Editor
Associate Editors
Dan Brozost
Associate Columns Editor
Will Homiller
Associate News Editor
Deborah Prisinzano
Treasurer
Jeremy Gott
Associate Production Editor
Courtney Masini
Associate Production Editor
Megan McLaughlin
Associate Features Editor
Staff
C ONTRIBUTORS: Dana Foster.
C OLUMNISTS: Brendan Johnson (SBA Notebook), V ANGUARD. Turn in your tryout today.
R EVIWERS: Your name could be here. Turn in your tryout review to the Law Weekly mailbox by
Monday, Sept. 11.
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© 2000 Virginia Law Weekly
Friday, September 8, 2000
Becoming Bartleby
One of the benefits of spending
a summer practicing law in a historic New England port (Portland,
ME), is that you can hang out in
local pubs “on the docks.” (Purely
educational visits, I assure you.)
Inside the dank, dimly lit,
Rich Bland, a
third-year law
student, is the Law
Weekly Editor-inChief.
wooden structures, you drink
“aged” beer from kegs that taste
as if they were offloaded from a
whaling vessel sometime last century. You munch on traditional
fare like “fried fried” — the extra
fried parts on a fried clam platter
that consist of no actual clam but
instead entirely fried material. If
you’re lucky this delicacy comprises more than half the platter.
Still, one can appreciate seeing walls decorated with old lobster pots, shattered compasses
and ripped sails that weren’t produced in some New Jersey factory by Chili’s parent company,
but instead were probably found
washed up on the rocks in front of
the bar.
The romantic in me liked to
conjure up histories of the items
on the walls and some of the more
“authentic” characters around.
Funnily enough, some of the regulars in places like the “Dry Dock”
and the “Port Hole,” included the
stereotypical old, crotchety, seafarer type who sits at the end of
the bar and mutters to himself.
(Believe it or not, they really do
exist.)
Yet, to my horror, I discovered
that most of these Ahabs hadn’t
lost their leg to a great white
whale, battled with giant squids
in the South Pacific, or even witnessed the tragedy of the great
storm of ’38, but were in fact...
lawyers gone sour.
You see, Portland is quite famous for an abundance of another sort these days. Apparently,
Portland has the second most lawyers per capita than any other
city in the nation (D.C. being number one). The quality of life, re-
vived city and low cost of living
has attracted scores of attorneys
seeking refuge from the big firms
in Boston and New York.
Thus, the tale of woe emitted
from the drunken sod at the end
of the bar was of mergers gone
bad, juries lost or judges “who
just didn’t see the law my way.”
On one of these visits, one of
these drunken wizened sorts accosted me with two cryptic words
of warning: “Read Bartleby,” he
muttered. Then louder: “READ
BARTLEBY!”
To be fair, this guy was relatively respectable looking and was
drinking single malt, but he did
have gray hair, a trashed outfit,
and his breath reeked something
fierce. Furthermore, his message
was indeed a warning, not of the
perils of high seas, but of stifled
creativity and other legal fees.
Now as most of you probably
know, Bartleby is Melville’s somewhat famous/infamous story of a
legal clerk gone crazy. (At least
that was about all I could remember from junior year high school
English.) Everybody also knows
that neither was Melville a particularly happy man nor are most
novelists prone to weave a tale of
wonder about the greatness of
being a lawyer. Thus it shouldn’t
be much of a surprise, that
Melville’s take on the legal profession, was, shall we say, less
than reverent.
Yet my curiosity was sparked
and I felt I kind of owed it to the
old guys — the drunk in the bar
and his apparent friend, Bartleby.
The story begins quite humorously. Bartleby is given an office
that some of us may fear will be in
our future: a room “which originally had afforded a lateral view
of certain grimy back yards and
bricks, but which owing to subsequent erections, commanded at
present no view at all ... within
three feet of the [window] panes
was a wall.”Bartleby is then given
rather dry work as a scrivener,
“[verifying] the accuracy of his
copy, word by word.”
Yet, our hero is undeterred:
“At first Bartleby did an extraorsee BARTLEBY page 3
SBA Notebook
I appreciate the thoughts that
many of you shared regarding last
week’s article. Sentiment was best
summarized by Professor Larry
Walker’s statement: “Mr.
Johnson, I did read your article
this week. I read every article
every week. Yours does suck.”
Brendan Johnson,
a third-year law
student, is SBA
president.
Once again this week, I’ve put
together a 700-word article about
Law School news that I find interesting. Of course, this article
should not be confused with the
VANGUARD. The VANGUARD is actually entertaining, and normal
people read it.
Dandelion Parade
Congratulations to all of the
first-year sections that put together outstanding floats, but in
the end there was no doubt that
Professor O’Connell stole the
show. It was also great to see so
many first-years at the softball
game that followed. Once again,
kudos to Professor O’Connell who
hit two triples and a double, and
later cooled down with a fourminute keg stand.
Brown’s Mountain
The boys managed to throw a
great party despite the weather.
However, it was apparent that
some law students are struggling
to define their identity. One
prominent example was Kevin
Yopp’s silk shirt, which he appar-
ently stole from Ponneh’s underwear drawer. All of the classes
within the Law School were well
represented; first-year section C
apparently decided to use the
party for their section mixer. This
forced Matt Bosher, who distributed party invitations, to admit
that he is confused by the mailbox color coding system.
D-20 Parking Auction
Today is your last opportunity
to enter the D-20 Parking Auction. The D-20 parking spots are
located immediately behind the
Law School, next to the area formerly known as Café North. There
are 20 spaces available for students. Unfortunately, these
spaces will only be available for
the first semester. During the
second semester those who received a D-20 pass during the
first semester will be permitted
to park in the D-3 lot.
The D-20 auction is open to all
second- and third-year students
who do not live within walking
distance of the Law School. The
face value of the parking permit
is approximately $200. If these
spots were allocated by lottery
instead of by auction, lottery winners would have to pay $200 directly to Parking and Transportation for a D-20 permit. If you
bid $500 in the auction and, for
example, that bid is one of the
winning bids, you will write a
check to Student Funded Fellowships for $500. SFF will then pay
$200 to Parking and Transportation for your permit and use the
“
The Whitebread
Legacy: Faculty
Quotes of the W eek
And the Winner is...
G.E. White: (after requesting to
have the Law Weekly delivered
personally to his box) “Not only is
the Law Weekly popular with the
faculty, but sometimes defamatory
comments are made and one wants
to know if they are actionable.”
Runners-Up:
G.E. White: “[If a vegetarian were
to come up to you and ask why you
wear leather shoes] . . . you might
say to the vegetarian, “I don’t know
how your bowels survive.”
John Harrison: (to a cold-called
student) “I'll tell a brief anecdote
while you actually look at the case.”
John Harrison: “We all know
there’s only one theme in the law:
fees.”
Graham Lilly: “I’m not sure how
early I predicted this — but very
early, I’m sure.”
Boomer Scott: “Have you seen the
two flagpoles up at Darden? They’re
really obscene, aren’t they? It looks
like somebody plunked down a
Marriott hotel.”
Jennifer Mnookin: “I really can’t
say that I’ve had a lot of experience
with handcuffs.”
G.E. White: “Yes, that is what he
is saying. What you say he is
saying, he is saying. But look at
what he is saying when he says
that.”
Barry Cushman: “Then, three
months after the families were
toasting one another at the wedding, they were suing each other
over a $100,000 life insurance
policy. Where I grew up, that was
known as ‘bad form.’”
”
remainder to support the Public
Interest Law program.
Bids will be accepted by e-mail
only. When you have decided how
much to bid, send an e-mail to
spf5y@virginia.edu with “D-20
Bid” as the subject and your bid
as the text. You may bid as many
times as you wish, but you may
only increase your bid.
You may participate in the D20 Auction if you already have a
Blue or D3 permit. But if you win,
you must turn in your old permit.
You will, of course, receive full
credit for that permit. If you
bought a D-3 permit last week for
$162 and next week you win a D20 permit with a winning bid of
$662, you will turn in your D-3
permit (worth $162) plus $500 to
get your D-20 permit.
The value of the D-20 is difficult
to calculate. Predictive factors indicate that the winning bids will be
quite high: (1) Many students have
no parking passes at all. (2) D-20 is
very close to the school. (3) The net
proceeds of the auction are for a
great cause. (4) Interview season
starts soon. (5) D-20 will not be
oversold. (6) You can watch Hank
Brier “park” with eager first-years.
SBA Book Sale
Special thanks to Scott
Strobridge and the SBA representatives who coordinated the
SBA book sale. This year, thousands of dollars worth of books
were sold. In the future, the SBA
will not permit students to use
the book sale as an opportunity to
unload adult periodicals.
Virginia Law Weekly
Center Proposes First Amendment Monument
by Tarah Grant ’02
Imagine a gigantic blackboard
on the east end of the Downtown
Mall, where anybody can express
their views about anything.
That’s what the Thomas
Jefferson Center for the Protection of Free Expression will propose at the Charlottesville City
Council’s meeting on Sept. 18—
the construction of a monument
that would both honor the First
Amendment right of free expression and serve as a venue for its
exercise.
While a simple plaque emblazoned with the words of the First
Amendment would probably receive unanimous support, what
the Thomas Jefferson Center has
in mind is undoubtedly a bit
more provocative.
As a nation, we are “curiously ambivalent” toward
the First Amendment, explains Professor Robert O’Neil, the founding director of the
T h o m a s
Jefferson
Center.
Americans
have a “clear
conviction that
each person
should be com-
pletely free to say or read or view
what he or she wishes, but less
clearly what a neighbor or colleague wishes, and far less clearly
what a neo-Nazi, racist,
homophobe, or political radical
may wish to say or see.”
This observation may explain
why some people are apprehensive about the proposed
monument’s interactive nature.
“Most of the people that I have
spoken with have responded enthusiastically to the concept of the
monument,” explains Josh
Wheeler (Law ’92), program director for the Thomas Jefferson Center. “For those few who have expressed reservations about it, their
concern seems to be based in the
prospect of somebody writing
something offensive on the monument.”
But, according to Wheeler, this
concern can be easily addressed.
Although the First Amendment
would bar the City from creating
regulations aimed at controlling
the content or viewpoint of the
messages placed on the wall, the
City could adopt a content-neutral policy requiring that the entire monument’s surface be erased
on a periodic basis. Such a proced u r e
would
guarantee
that all mes-
News
Friday, September 8, 2000
sages placed on the wall would
remain there only temporarily and
would provide others with a literal clean slate on which to express themselves.
Also, a private individual would
have the option of erasing something specific that he or she found
offensive. While the Thomas
Jefferson Center would prefer an
alternate course of action, namely
for the individual to pick up a
piece of chalk and respond to the
comment, the act of erasing something from the monument would
also serve a useful purpose as a
“manifestation of the debate over
the limits of free expression in
American society,” Wheeler says.
The uniqueness of the “community blackboard” concept
should make the proposal especially attractive; the Thomas
Jefferson Center has found no
monument in the United States
that resembles the one that it is
proposing. And no location for this
monument could be more
appropriate
than
Charlottesville,
Wheeler adds, noting
the city’s historical
connection to the
primary architects of the
First
Amendment, James Madison
and Thomas Jefferson.
If the City Council approves
the Thomas Jefferson Center’s
proposal, the Center would immediately start raising the
money needed to transform the
plot of land in front of City Hall,
which currently serves only as a
traffic median, into a First
Amendment park. The monument, the focal point of the park,
would be composed of a 72-footlong concrete wall, covered with
seven-foot-high panels of local
slate. Immediately in front of
the wall would be a small trench
filled with chalk. In addition to
the community blackboard, the
Center’s proposal for the area
includes landscaping, a
speaker’s podium facing City
Hall and a panel inscribed with
the First Amendment of the
United States’ Constitution.
A scale model of the monument is on public display at the
Thomas Jefferson Center, drawings and site plans are posted
on the Center’s website at http:/
/www.tjcenter.org/
monument.html, and the real
thing may be on the Downtown
Mall in just a few years.
3
DANDELION
continued from page 1
after Q and X.
Section K, modeling karate outfits and displaying Asian decorations, boasted, “Section K Kicks
Ass.” They tossed fortune cookies
into the crowd while two members
staged a demonstration of martial
arts mastery not seen since the hit
movie Only the Strong.
Rounding out the parade were
Section L’s Viva Las Vegas float —
featuring Elvis impersonators,
topless cocktail waiters, and other
Vegas stereotypes — and the
L.L.M.s’ “Liquored Legal Monsters” display of costumed, inebriated terrors dancing about to
Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.”
At the conclusion of the parade,
the Commissioners congregated and
voted for the best floats. They selected Section I’s “I of the Tiger” as
the best float in the 2000 Dandelion
Parade, with special recognition
going to Professor O’Connell. Section H was selected as runner-up
while the L.L.M.’s were recognized
for their choreography.
ART
continued from page 1
returned to the artists from whom
they were on loan. For the record,.
the ubiquitous sheep which once
greeted flocks of law students at
the top of the library stairs have
not met the same fate as the
Hounds of Hell. The work was
safely returned to the hands of its
artist, John Evans.
Fitchett noted that she moved
the sheep from their initial conspicuous location partly in response
to student unrest (“People were saying nasty things about lambs to the
slaughter!”), and partially in response to the disappearance of the
Hounds. For sheep fans, “Clouds,” a
larger variant on the more famous
work, is on display in the library
administration offices.
SLAUGHTER
continued from page 1
New York
Washington
London
“
Only a handful of firms
exist that offer the quality
and breadth of Cahill
Gordon’s practice. None
of them extends to
associates greater freedom
to shape their own legal
career.
”
CAHILL GORDON &
REINDEL
will be on interviewing on
campus on Thursday,
September 28.
Please visit our
website at
www.cahill.com.
We encourage you to sign up on
September 8 to speak with us.
Scott. The current computer lab
will be reduced in size due to the
increase in wireless access and a
second lab will be located near the
library in Withers-Brown.
The only setback , according to
Bergen, will be the lack of a stu-
dent lounge and kitchen area in
the fall of 2001. Bergen said he
expects that substitute lounge and
refrigerator space may be created
outside of Caplin Auditorium near
the temporary food trailer.
BARTLEBY
continued from page 2
dinary quantity of writing. As if
long famishing for something to
copy, he seemed to gorge himself
on my documents. There was no
pause for digestion. He ran a day
and night line, copying by sunlight and by candlelight.”
Soon enough, though, the narrator, Bartleby’s boss, begins to
sense something wrong: “I should
have been quite delighted with his
application, had he been cheerfully industrious. But he wrote on,
silently, palely, mechanically.”
And then comes the famous day,
and the famous line in which generations of angst-ridden adolescents have sought refuge
and pleasure. (Not to mention perhaps a 3L or two.)
The narrator describes
the critical scene: “I
abruptly called to Bartleby.
In my haste and natural expectancy of instant compliance, I sat with my head bent
over the original on my desk
and my right hand sideways,
and somewhat nervously extended
with the copy, so that emerging
from his retreat, Bartleby might
snatch it and proceed to business
without the least delay.
“In this very attitude did I sit
when I called to him, rapidly stating what it was I wanted him to do
—namely to examine a small paper with me. Imagine my surprise,
nay, my consternation, when,
without moving from his privacy,
Bartleby, in a singularly mild firm
voice, replied, ‘I would prefer not
to.’”
Without spoiling the ending for
you if you haven’t read it, I will say
that Melville’s vision of being a
legal technician is fairly bleak.
Bartleby ends up using these five
words (“I would prefer not to.”) to
answer every inquiry for the rest
of his life.
In some ways, the story has
become trivialized. It is widely
used by many overly simplistic
anti-legal, anti-Wall Street, kneejerk critics. Yet, not all has been
lost in the power of the message.
Certainly Bartleby’s work as a
scrivener was far below what many
first-year associates, or even
fifth-year associates are assigned. However, without being too moralizing, there are
aspects of his life that ring
true.
If nothing else, lessons
like the tendency of billing
obscene amounts of hours
in your first year leading
to burn out, or that work
as a legal technician can prove to
be
somewhat
personally
unfulfilling, merit attention.
I guess my old crotchety friend
in Portland did have something
more than a scotch induced sermon to give me. And I recommend
Bartleby’s poor tale for the aspiring yet wary lawyer in us all.
Plus, now if you hear your classmate or co-worker reply to a
professor’s cold call or a partner’s
assignment with a perfunctory, “I
would prefer not to,” you have the
knowledge that no less a man than
Bartleby agreed.
4
Features
Virginia Law Weekly
Friday, September 8, 2000
Lazy Days on the James? Not W ith Law Students Involved.
Now, when you go tubing, they the rear of the bus (the last five
by Dana Foster, ’02
Law school got you stressed put you on a bus and take you up- rows of seats had been ripped out
out? Legal research and writing river. Then you float lazily down to facilitate the tube storage). He
bringing you DOWN, 1Ls? Job the waterway, back to where you then asked that we all cram on to
search kickin’ your backside, parked. So we all got on the bus the bus.
Just so everybody is caught up
2Ls? Sweatin’ over how to spend to begin our relaxing day on the
James. We arrived at the land- — we started with hopes of cool
those four-day weekends, 3Ls?
Well do I have the cure for all ing and unload the tubes. Half of water caressing our little piggies
of you. Take a nice, calm, relax- the troop got into the water (with and cold ones in hand. Now there
ing inner tube cruise down the coolers of our favorite beverages, are around 80 of us (half of us
serene James River. Ahhhhhhh. of course) when there was a noise wet) jam-packed on a bus. But
Warm sun on your shoulders, cool in the sky. It was the sound of everything is okay, because the
water caressing your toes, favor- any chance of tubing that day storm won’t last more than 20
ite beverage in your hand (with coming to an end. Oh, but the minutes or so, and then we’ll be
on our way. We’ll just stay here
plenty more at arms length). Now FUN was about to begin.
Those of us who had gotten on the bus. Uh, no.
this is the life. Ahhhhhhhhh.
The bus driver (who could NOT
I was lucky enough to go tub- into the water already (with the
ing a few weekends ago. And let coolers) very reluctantly came be older than 17) decided, I beme tell you — WOW! A few of my ashore (a significant portion of lieve unilaterally, that he would
close, personal friends and I had my section — section I, give it UP drive the bus back to the “lodge.”
a time. Sit back, get comfy, grab — wanted to continue, and to By this time it is raining buckthem I give a hearty salute). The ets, with thunder bellowing and
a beverage and let me tell you.
lightning
Sections I (my
prominent in
section — give it
the sky. And
UP) and J arrived
hail. I believe
at the tubing
there was hail.
lodge a little afThe front winter 1 p.m. It was
dow of the bus
slightly overcast,
was
comand the forecast
pletely fogged
called for a 70%
over. To call
chance of rain.
the road we
But, as a wise
photo courtesy of jamesriver.com
were
on
man once said: a
These are not law students. We would like to show you law
slightly nar70% chance of
students inner-tubing. They tried, but no go. So, these are other
row would be
rain means that
people. They look pretty happy, huh?
like calling the
there’s a 30%
Super Bowl
chance that it’s
not going to rain (okay, maybe initial plan was to wait on the chances of the Cincinnati Bengals
that guy wasn’t so wise). Any- banks of the serene James (un- slightly narrow.
It sounds like the beginning of
way, we were ready, rain or shine. der a couple of nice, tall trees
The first thing that greeted us and a power line) until the storm a lawyer joke — what do you call
was a gentleman standing atop a passed. Thankfully there was an 80 law students careening
wooden platform like a carnival- officer of the law nearby to dish through the backwoods of Virbarker. He gave us instructions out a heaping helping of reason. ginia in a driving thunderstorm
about the rules and regulations He directed the awaiting law stu- on a bus driven by a teenager? A
mass tort waiting to happen,
of tubing. One was, “Git aat a thu dents back on the bus.
But, somehow there was now baby.
wata if ther is lightnin’.” Another,
I know we were in the ditch a
“Don’t git sucked unda thu ferry two busloads of students and only
boat or you will DIE!” Needless one bus. So, the ever-resourceful couple of times, with the bus
to say, I was very comforted after peace officer directed the “guide” swaying to one side at a seemimpossible
angle.
to remove the inner tubes from ingly
his presentation.
.
Wın3-Year
law .school
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tuıtıon!
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Relevant information without wasting time.
www.lexis.com/lawschool
AHHHHHHH. There was no erage? AHHHHHHHH.
shoulder. Other buses were travSo, obviously, we made it back
eling in the opposite direction okay. As the bus finally pulled
(obviously they had not spoken up to the parking area, after what
to the law enforcement officer seemed an eternity, I let out a
yet). The storm was raging huge sigh of relief. And as we all
around us. And, of course, all the trundled off the bus into the
people on the bus had been magi- storm towards our SUVs and
cally
transluxury vehicles
formed
into
I stopped to
high schoolers.
shake the kid’s
People were
hand. “Thanks
y e l l i n g ,
for not careenwhoopin’ and
ing into a tree,
hollerin’. They
man,” I said.
were
grabAnd he said,
assin’ around.
“Y’all
come
And somebody
back
now,
even grabbed
y’hear.”
photo courtesy of jamesriver.com
my
leg.
So, if you see
Tubing point of entry... and exit.
AHHHHHHH.
a person in SecAnd the kid (who may have tions I (my section — give it UP)
been driving on his learner’s per- or J, go up, introduce yourself,
mit) was not afraid. We just kept and shake their hand. Tell them
on going. I’m sure we hit 60 mph you’re proud of their bravery and
a couple of times going downhill. that you’re glad that they didn’t
The bus was lurching back and die.
forth with every turn. The wind
And if you get a chance — let
was howling against us. And I me just tell you. 1Ls — tell Proam sardined in a bus with 100 fessor Foster-Riley to get off your
potential litigants driven by a back. 2Ls — log off of CASE and
pre-pubescent. And all I kept toss your lawweb IDs. 3Ls — tell
thinking (other than who the hell Mike at Birdwood that you’ll see
is grabbing my leg) is, “Relax- him tomorrow. And all of you
ation my butt!” Where was the head on down to Scottsville for
cool water on my digits? Where some relaxation on the James.
was the warm sun? The cold bev- AHHHHHHH.
September 18 - George Rutherglen
“Distributing Justice: Lessons from the Dalkon
Shield Claimants Trust”
*October 2 - Kevin Kordana
“Charitable Conversions”
October 23 - Anne Coughlin
“Intercourse and Interrogation”
*October 30 - Jesse Rudy (Olin Summer Research Fellow)
“An Empirical Study of the At-Will Doctrine in
Employment Law”
November 13 - Earl Dudley
“The Scalia Anomaly: Divergent Approaches to
Statutory and Constitutional Interpretation”
* December 4 - Ed Kitch
To Be Announced
*These three lunches are sponsored by the
John M. Olin Program in Law and Economics.
Virginia Law Weekly
Friday, September 8, 2000
Advertisement
5
6
Columns
Virginia Law Weekly
Friday, September 8, 2000
Love, Lust and the Law
Okay, so there are activities fairs,
journal tryouts, and clerkship meetings — isn’t it about time for some
news we can use? Advice on how to
brief a case is all well and good, but
let’s hit the juicy stuff we really care
about — love and lust at the Law
School.
Jackie Sadker, a
second-year law
student, is the Law
Weekly Features
Editor.
First-years, welcome back to high
school. Second-years, remember
what it was like to enter this bizarre
dating land? Third-years, get off
the undergrads — they won’t solve
that whole receding hairline problem.
First off, the term dating is misleading. What we’ve got here is just
two types of folks (and few dates):
scammers (those whose end goal is
the almighty hook-up) and couples
in love. The best way to tell them
apart is that you can talk to and
about your love interest, but not
your hook-up interest.
Find the category you fall into
and read on for further tips on how
to succeed in this whole law-lovelust-land. Oh, and take them all
with an industrial-sized grain of
salt — if I had any of the answers, I
probably wouldn’t be writing this
column.
Hook-Ups — Folks Who Don’t
Need Nothing But A Good Time
Don’t: Use the intimate space of
the patio at Buddhist or the backyard at a Law School party as a
kickoff for your rendezvous. News
flash: not only do we attend the
smallest Law School in the world,
but we even have a gossip column
with eyes everywhere (aka the VANGUARD phenom). Unless you want
your indiscretions to lack discretion, get a room.
Do: Greet the rendezvous partner with a friendly wave in Slaugh-
ter the next day. There are several
reasons for this: while every impulse in your body may be to run
from the reminder of the excess of
alcohol you imbibed or the potentially damaging things you did, preserve both civility and the option for
a future hook-up by feigning happiness to see your transgression in
the light of day.
Don’t: Tell ALL your friends.
See VANGUARD phenom noted above.
Also, we’re swimming in a pretty
small pond here; we don’t need or
want to know the sexual history of
everyone in every class. It’s hard
enough to pay attention as it is…
Don’t: Hook up with anyone in
your first-year section during your
first year. Unless you are sure it will
ascend to the next level, this is to be
avoided at all costs. With the same
classes, friends, and social calendars, there is just too much interaction to sustain a hook-up-only relationship. First-years may have already fallen into this trap, as witnessed post-Dandelion Parade last
week. Best advice now that the damage is done: Get married or switch
sections. This advice just doesn’t
apply to second- and third-years –
that whole world of 15 previously
off-limits people opens up when you
start your second fall.
Do: Be nice to the hook-up
partner’s roommate(s). You may
have just met them, but they suddenly have power over you. See
VANGUARD phenom noted above.
Love — Folks Who Want Something To Believe In
Ahh, love. You are suddenly so
glad you didn’t go to Georgetown,
because your soulmate happened to
be awaiting you here in
Charlottesville. Perhaps you were
even in the same section (J) with
them. Fate can be kind. Since you
have been so lucky to find love in
between the law lines, you certainly
won’t mind just a few guidelines to
smooth the whole process.
WYCHE
Don’t: Be all over each other in
the Law School. This seems obvious, but you would be amazed. It’s
not that there is anything wrong
with PDA — I personally think it’s
kinda sweet. But in the computer
lab? The romance of ISIS escapes
me.
Do: Let everyone know of your
coupleness. This is both to address
the VANGUARD issue (nothing gossipy
about common knowledge) and to
stave off all those who fall into the
first category.
Don’t: Cheat. Duh. True everywhere, but factor in the oft-cited
VANGUARD phenomenon, and you’d
have to be a complete moron.
Don’t: Stop socializing with your
friends. While you may not believe
it, there is the slightest of teensiest
chances that your match made in
heaven may turn into anything but.
Law school can be a lonely place if
you are the only third-year who
knows no one outside of your small
section.
Do: Join Law Partners. They just
seem like nice people.
So there are my two cents. Now
go, mate and be merry. Just keep in
mind, the Law Weekly (and everyone else) is watching…
Love’s in the Law School Air
by Howard Chang ’01
If you haven’t read ANG this
year or heard any of the gossip fluttering through our hallowed halls,
you might be surprised to hear that
half of the Law School recently got
married or engaged over the summer.
All right, all right, “half” might
be exaggerating a bit since that
would mean roughly 500 people.
But at least eight or nine people in
the law school got married or engaged over the summer! What, you
ask, could be the source of this sudden stampede to the chapel of love?
Timing appeared to provide the
principal catalyst for our guppy lawyers making the big move. More
specifically, some of our peers in
long term relationships could feel
the fire burning under their posteriors and realized that it was time
to put up or shut up.
“After six years of dating, I think
[my fiancée] would have killed me if
I made her wait much longer,” admitted third-year Anthony Stenger.
“I have been dating my fiancée
for five years and I was getting the
feeling that if I waited until I graduated I may not have a girlfriend to
propose to,” explained second-year
Graham Eddy.
Clearly, these wise fellows demonstrated a keen knack for preventative issue-spotting.
Third-year Jen Bresnahan, however, gave a gentler, less cynical
explanation for the impetus behind
her engagement: “The timing just
seemed right. We’ve been dating for
four years, so I think we were both
pretty ready” (emphasis added).
Unfortunately, this reporter
could not reach Bresnahan’s fiancé
for cross-examination.
photo by Brian Gist
Coming soon to a finger near
you....
Not every law student, however,
felt the Hellhound of time nipping
away at his or her heels. Some students simply decided that the time
was appropriate to elevate their relationship regardless of the fact that
they were still enrolled in school.
“I never thought I’d be married
in school,” admitted second-year
Susan Foubert (formerly McMurry),
“[but] the time was right, the person was right, so it just seemed like
the right thing to do!”
Third-year Alice Shuffield similarly described her motivations:
“The timing was just right — it
wasn’t planned with [the] law school
schedule in mind really.”
Whether the timing was “just
right” or whether it was just time to
put up, one truth has definitely
emerged from this batch of recent
engagements: Love is in the law
school air.
And with love, no less, comes
newfound confidence. All of the
happy people interviewed for this
story expressed confidence that the
impending change in their tax status would not complicate their lives
as law students.
“I have many married friends at
the Law School,” explained Eddy,
“and my fiancée hangs out with
them a lot. We often go on double
dates with these couples.”
Stenger similarly did not foresee
any changes in his lifestyle: “Women
showed no interest in me before I
was engaged and I don’t expect that
to change.”
Likewise, Bresnahan saw no reason for her interaction with her peers
to change: “I’ve been dating [my
fiancé] for all of the time I’ve been
here, so my friends never knew me
any other way. They won’t treat me
any differently. But they threw me
an amazing wedding shower, complete with margaritas, a mini wedding cake, and themed gifts. I’m so
glad…that I can include them in my
wedding plans … not to mention
the bachelorette party.”
Third-year Ben Block, who married third-year Karen Fuchs this
past weekend, summarized the
change in his life accordingly: “It is
by far the best thing that has happened to me at law school!”
Hear, hear.
Virginia Law Weekly
Two views on dating in
Manhattan at the Regal
Downtown
Autumn in New York stars Richard Gere as Will, a 48-year-old
successful restauranteur and
womanizer. Since he’s apparently
able to have commitment-free sex
with any woman in Manhattan,
Will logically chooses to fall for 21year-old Charlotte (Winona
Ryder), an elfin, immature hat
Reviews
Friday, September 8, 2000
7
Still Among the Best of What’ s Around
every week to talk about their
sexual exploits. Their conversations are misogynistic, vulgar, repetitive and puerile. These guys
are the most offensive men imaginable, matched only by sheer odiousness the of the married member of the group, Eric (Judah
Domke).
The minimal plot is that the
Three Musketeers all fall for ideal
Movie Review babe Mia (Amanda Peete) who
by Amber Husbands ends up having sex with all of
them without even changing her
sheets in between. It’s not impordesigner with a fatal heart condi- tant why they all fall for her or
tion whose unsophisticated charm why they keep dating her once
knocks poor Will right off his feet. they find out. You wouldn’t beAt least, I hope it’s her charm, lieve it anyway, since it’s hard to
because the “hats” she designs are decide what’s worse here – the
the ugliest things I have ever seen, writing or the acting. There is no
reminiscent of something your redeeming social value or even enmom might
tertainment
have made you
value to this
for your thirdmovie. It’s nothgrade Hallowing more than an
een costume.
excuse to string
Director
together endless
Joan
Chen
vile euphemisms
seems to be
for sex and sex ormore in love
gans.
with filmmakIt’s astonishing techniques
ing that a movie
than Will and
that’s all about
Charlotte’s resex could be so utlationship.
terly
unsexy.
There’s the
Whipped just
obligatory fallmakes you hope
leaves-in-Centhat there really
tral-Park
aren’t any people,
photo courtesy of MGM/UA
scene, various
anywhere, that
Richard Gere and Winona
colored birds to
are even remotely
Ryder star in
symbolize life
like the characAutumn in New York.
and death, and
ters in this movie.
an annoying propensity for film- I felt unclean just for having seen
ing scenes through glass. Writer it.
Allison Burnett clutters the story
with distracting plotlines about a
mysterious woman in Will’s life
and an emergency surgery that
just might save Charlotte’s life.
She should have spent her time
working on the dialogue, which
It took five years, but Brit-popalternates between the overblown
and the mundane. Sometimes Will pers Elastica have finally returned
and Charlotte sound like they’re with a long-awaited follow up alquoting bad poetry, and sometimes bum. 1995’s self-titled debut Elastheir exchanges are reminiscent tica, scored a major U.S. hit with
the high-powered “Connection.”
of giggling middle-schoolers.
It’s not so much that I don’t The tune was everywhere — even
believe Winona Ryder could fall picked up by Budweiser for its TV
for Richard Gere. It’s that I don’t commercials that season.
believe that arrogant, insensitive,
selfish Will and whiny, childish
Music Review
Charlotte would ever have found
each other and fallen in love. In
by Jonathan Riehl
real life, it takes more than a dying no-talent waif to convert a lifeThe band has changed shape
long ladies’ man into a paragon of
devotion. I hope. Oh, and not only over five years, but maintained its
is Will more than twice her age, he original sound and cynical edge.
once had a relationship with The intervening years have not
Charlotte’s now-deceased mother. been entirely kind to Elastica’s
Neither of them finds this dis- press coverage, with London tabtasteful or inappropriate. And Will loids and music mags frequently
never stops to think about why the filled with rumors of drug abuse,
first woman to steal his heart is feuds, and the like. As things
one who’s guaranteed not to be stand now, the band may be
getting back together after
around in a year.
There’s definitely a place at the all. And Elastica’s well-promovies for sentimental tear- duced and totally fun followjerkers. But Autumn in New York up album would seem a fitisn’t a modern-day Love Story. It’s ting soundtrack for the recliched and sentimental — and union.
A world tour is underway,
didn’t even make me cry! Let’s be
clear; I cry at Nike commercials, and Elastica will soon be playthe Harry Potter books, and People ing in Washington, D.C. for
magazine. But Richard Gere’s the first time in four years. In
crocodile tears over wan Winona’s the interest of journalistic indeathbed didn’t even elicit a sniffle. tegrity, the author should disWhipped, on the other hand, close he was in the front row
elicited much stronger emotions; of that performance. And will
namely, disgust, horror, and won- likely be elbowing his way to
der that someone actually gave a similar spot at the return
writer/director Peter M. Cohen showing, scheduled for the 9:30
money to make this crude and Club on October 3.
Elastica’s style is an inventive
infantile sex comedy. Whipped is
the story of three college buddies, mix of funky Brit-pop tunesmithBrad (Brian Van Holt), Jonathan ism, a-la Blur, and high-energy
(Jonathan Abrams), and Zeke 70s punk, a-la The Clash, Blondie,
(Zorie Barber), who get together and Wire. The band has always
A week ago Thursday, a group
of five Dave worshipers escaped
from a rainy Charlottesville (not
that we’d been there long) to an
even rainier GTE Virginia Beach
Amphitheater, the venue of the
final Virginia stop on the Dave
Matthews Band’s 52 concert,
seven-week tour. If you didn’t get
to see this C’ville legend in action
this summer, then follow along
and take a virtual trip to Dave’s
world. After a stop at one fan’s
Virginia Beach home for pizza and
non-public bathroom use, we took
back roads to the amphitheater
and geared up for lawn seating
and serious rain.
Music Review
by Amy Kobelski
and Mindy Cupps
First, the Dave crowds aren’t
what they used to be. The younger
part of the crowd, clad in a uniform of Tommy jeans and apronbacked tops, didn’t seem especially
thrilled with Dave’s play list. The
older folks — though perhaps more
appreciative of the music — remained seated or stationary
throughout the concert. Our merry
group fell somewhere in the middle
in terms of age and enthusiasm.
Some things never change, however: Friend #1 (who should have
known better) remarked that
something “funny smelling” was
“itching her nose.”
Dave Matthews, a Charlottesville resident since 1986, was
energetic by Dave standards, rocking especially hard on “All Along
the Watchtower” and the closer,
“Rapunzel.” Dave and company
mellowed appropriately for slower
songs like the new “Raven” (which
one reviewer expects to become a
personal favorite). As usual,
Matthews’ between-set talk was
incomprehensible: the intimacy in the studio. A friend who saw
lost in the microphone static and the D.C. show reported that violin
from the enormous crowd de- player Boyd Tinsley sang lead on
tracted from what was otherwise one of the new songs, which may
much more like a small, acoustic, very well show up on Dave’s new
CD. That may
Dave and Tim set. A few
be a sign that the
strobe lights provided
band now has
the only on-stage decoenough clout to
ration, and as may be
cut an album as
relevant to some fans,
they want it — if
Dave’s left hand bore no
not, you may
adornment, either. (We
have to wait for
leave the question of
another Listener
whether this absence reSupported CD to
futes the rumor of Dave’s
hear what we
marriage to some tolerheard.
ant young woman to you
The opinions
logical reasoning exof individuals in
perts.)
On
to
the photo courtesy of execpc.com our group varied
from Friend #3,
underappreciated set
C’ville legend Dave
list: the band played a Matthews rocked 52-plus who said the concert was all right
lot of songs off the new
venues this summer.
but others had
album and a few of the
major classics — “Tripping Bil- been better, to Friend #2, who said
lies,” “Best of What’s Around,” the concert was the best of the four
“Crush,” and even “All Along the she’d seen. Yet despite the rain
Watchtower.” The new songs are and an encounter with sadistic
reminiscent of Classic Dave, too: police officers (who informed trustthe band seemed much more in- ing Friend #2 that there were no
terested in exploring rougher mu- “working” public bathrooms and
that she had missed
the show’s “great”
opening act, Taj
Mahal and the
Phantom Blues
Band) overall spirits and opinions
were high. Dave
Matthews Band
summer concerts
have become a dependable staple to
all, and remain a
highlight for othphoto courtesy of dmband.com
DMB violinist Boyd Tinsley had his own local ers.
So if you
band before joining forces with Dave.
missed out this
sical intricacies than emulating summer, tide yourselves over on
their polished middle album, the new album (due out in NovemCrash. It will be interesting to see ber or December)—and become fawhether this sound makes it onto miliar with all the new songs in
the new album, or is over-refined time for next summer’s tour.
The Menace : Elastica’ s Back
Punk Band Makes a Comeback
acknowledged its roots, and has
even quoted some punk riffs in its
tunes. (This did not protect them
from legal liability. Several exmembers of “quoted” bands filed
suit against Elastica for copyright
violation.) Critical reaction to the
new album, which appeared in the
U.K. in April, has been mixed.
“Even theoretically, Blur plus
Wire doesn’t equal pop anymore,”
said the Village Voice. I don’t know
if The Menace equals “pop,” but
what exactly does that mean anymore?
What The Menace does equal is
some fun, funky, and musically
interesting listening. Elastica’s
brand of pop is a layered blend of
past and present, a nicely
postmodern mix of DJ Culture,
punk guitar, memorable foot-tapping tunes, and interesting lyrics,
usually delivered in lead singer
Justine Frischman’s trademark
hyper-inflected voice. Her voice is
a unique character actor, always
alluring: part football hooligan,
part seductive barfly, part pop poetess.
There is the energy of punk, the
sultry vocals of a sex symbol—
which Frischman has established
herself as in the UK, at least—and
the happy nonsense of pop stars
very willing to laugh at the culture that supports their successes.
The punk nonsense of “Da Da Da”
with its half-German lyrics is a
fine example. And then there’s “10
KB” where Justine rants that
“REAL TIME…IS OUT OF
SYNCH.” In an overconnected,
hyperlinked world, this might even
amount to decent philosophicalpop commentary.
The ’90’s Brit-pop craze was fueled largely by the rivalry between
Oasis and Blur, both of whom have
faded notably from the U.S. musical scene. Oasis’s Standing on the
Shoulders of Giants was a fantastic flop in American markets, and
Blur is yet to follow up on its
more Fatboy Slim-like success with tunes like “Song
13” from the summer of ’98.
As an aside, both Oasis and
Blur are exclusively male
bands. Elastica was female
with the exception of drummer Justin Welch.
The original Elastica looks
as though it may be getting
back together, with guitarist
Donna Mattews having appeared in several of the band’s
performances. Mattews has
had touch-and-go relations
with Frischman over the past
few years, and is not officially
listed as a band member on the
liner notes for The Menace.
Mattews contributed four of the
new album’s songs while she was
still with the band. These numbers are reminiscent of the more
low-key, reflective tunes from the
band’s debut. “Nothing Stays,” in
particular, is a mellow-sounding,
melancholy example — a satisfyingly worded take on what has
become a standard lament of the
sophomore pop band. There is,
however, a genuineness in the lyrics, given in Elastica’s fragmented
style. “Face the facts, being best
got bitter/simple tastes won’t suit
me better/used to matter but that
got done/best at being was not
best at all/nothing stays the same/
always change to remain.”
Track five, given the colorful
title “Your Arse, My Place,” has
been distinguished by Frischman
as “the first time I’ve used 12-bar
blues.” Hmmmm. It’s a typical set
piece, given at a medium-pace,
dipped in punk irony. “I twist, you
shout, I’m in, you’re out/too sharp,
too flat/it’s fate, and that’s
that...get with it, baby.”
Several of the tracks on The
Menace are instrumentals, or
nearly so. “10 KB” and “Da Da Da”
at times sound more like rave riffs
than pop numbers, with vocals
spliced in more as if they were
shouts from the audience (on key,
of course, and with Justine’s
strong, bending voice adding to
the effect) than from a member of
the band reciting lyrics.
The mixing and editing on the
“instrumentals,” as with the entire album, emphasizes more depth
and blending than the band’s first
album. Keyboard effects play a
key role here, but the overall rhythmic spunk is not sacrificed to the
larger overall effect. The sound is
bigger, but no less energized.
The Menace is available on Atlantic Records no. 4VW28. UK
Release was on Bluff records no.
075.
8
Law School Life
Virginia Law Weekly
VANGUARD
OF
DEMOCRACY
While the 198th Annual Dandelion Parade saw neither the return of Thomas Jefferson’s Michie
Tavern All-Stars nor the promised presence of the great and
fabled Tawny Kitaen, this year’s
extravaganza provided more than
its share of memorable highlights.
Beginning with 3L K.Y. & Co.’s
fanciful field decorations—including, in a moment reminiscent of
Kramer’s coffee-table book about
coffee-tables, a softball pinata
filled with softballs—the parade
ushered in the fall softball season
in grand fashion indeed.
At the outset, it is VG’s duty
and pleasure to salute benevolent
tort god Professor J.O’C. for joining Section I’s “‘I’ of the Tiger”
float. Prof. O’C.’s good-natured and
dead-on rendition of Mickey from
the early “Rocky” films singlehandedly propelled his section to
victory — though not without stiff
competition. Section H’s Hugh
Hefner-themed hi-jinks were a hit
with the drunken masses, as was
Section C’s hilarious “C-Cret Service” float, featuring a Monica
Lewinsky clone, a stunt-Clinton,
and plenty of cigars and shots (you
can guess what kind). Kudos are
also in order to the LLMs, whose
spirited trash-bag dancing made
them crowd favorites. Hats off to
all who braved the Saigon-like climate to revel in the festivities.
The event also marked an NGSL
first: the retiring of a jersey. For
those of you who missed the makeshift but heart-warming cer-
Friday, September 8, 2000
Tawny, We Har dly Knew Y e…
emony, some background is in order. Last season, defending macho-league champions Chico’s Bail
Bonds were set to defend their
crown on one of the last days of
finals. However, 3L M.K. — the
pitcher and lynchpin of the Chico’s
squad — did not realize that the
game was scheduled in the middle
of one of his exams. Rather than
skip the game or even push for a
rescheduling, M.K. decided to skip
out of his exam an hour early. The
fact that Chico’s ultimately lost
the game is immaterial; the point
is that M.K. showed a dedication
heretofore unseen in the NGSL.
Thus, his “00” shall remain
perched atop the backstop at
Copeley for all eternity, or at least
until the wind blows it off or a
large bird eats it.
Which brings us to our next
topic: the season itself. 3L B.M.
has been quietly plotting a revolution in the macho league this year,
re-tooling his Free Pizza squad to
become serious contenders for this
year’s title. Though rumors that
B.M., J.R. and company imported
a Japanese league all-star are
unconfirmed at this time, it is true
that Free Pizza has enlisted the
services of yet another transfer
ringer. VG wants to know where
all these imported studs are coming from. Does the admissions office even look at grades for transfer applicants, or do they simply
run them through an NFL-like
combine?
In addition, one cannot rule out
DANDELION PHOTO GALLERY
photos by Brian Gist
a championship for 2L wunderkind
M.H. and his TMC All-Stars squad.
While they had their ups and
downs as 1Ls, including winning
the award for silliest name, these
kids can play some serious ball. 2L
B.R., whose on-field intensity
nearly caused him to burst into
flames in the vicinity of second
base last year, is rumored to have
taken up self-meditation to better
channel his fiery emotions. Instead
of handing out verbal beat-downs
this semester, B.R. will be handing out flowers from his shortstop
position to passing baserunners.
Ohhhmmmm….
Finally, one-time macho league
champions Chico’s is poised for
another run at the top spot, as 3L
A.G. and company have drafted a
“secret weapon” in the outfield to
replace an injured starter. Which
Chico’s will show up this year: the
can-do professionals of last fall, or
the cocky and bloated drunks of
spring? Will 3L D. “Jesco” R. hit
one off the Darden sign, or screw
himself into the ground trying?
Will 3L K.B. extend Christian forgiveness to this season’s umpires?
Only time will tell.
Got dirt? In an effort to better
serve you, our loyal readers, VG is
soliciting gossip. Got a nugget
you’d like to share with the
masses? Write or type up your
story, complete with names (we’ll
handle the initials), and put it in
the envelope marked “VG Turncoats” in the NGSL mailbox. Leave
your name and number for verification purposes, and we’ll take it
from there.
VANGUARD OF DEMOCRACY is an
independent column of the
North Grounds Softball League
and does not necessarily represent the views of the Editors of
the Virginia Law Weekly.
Top 12 Tasteless, Offensive, and
Ultimately Rejected Dandelion Parade
Float Themes
by anonymous
12.
11.
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
§A’s “Adventures in Adultery”
§B’s “Bulimia Fiesta”
§C’s “Censored for Content”
§D’s “Drunk Driver Behind the Wheel Fun Float — Look
out Everybody!”
§E’s “Everybody Loves Making Fun of the Elderly”
§F’s “Fun with Farm Animals”
§G’s “Grandma’s Going to a Hospice”
§H’s “Hell on Earth — Burn, Sinners, Burn!”
§I’s “Intimacy between Siblings: A Tribute to Incest”
§J’s “Jumping Rope with People with Neck Injuries”
§K’s “Ken and Barbie Kicking It”
§L’s “Loogies on the Crowd: When it Rains, it Pours”
Submit your top ten list to Jackie Sadker, Features Editor, in SL
279 or via email at Va-Law-Weekly@virginia.edu. Please have
entries in by 5 p.m. on Tuesday for the following publication.