rageous! - ION Arizona

Transcription

4
5
UP TO
$5 OFF COVER!
Business Offers/Discounts*
RESTAURANTS / BARS / EVENTS
NEW!
THE LIST PARTY
GOLD PARTY
MONSTER BALL
ROSCOE’S
MI PATIO
E LOUNGE
THE LOCKER-ROOM
JADED
WILD CARD
Z PIZZA
AMSTERDAM BAR
ION ARIZONA MAGAZINE
$ave money
while supporting
your community!
Get your key (chain)
to great savings!
Available at the
ION ARIZONA booth
PLUS:
Unique on Central
Movies on Central
Root Seller Gallery
Sexy, fun and still number one!
Boo! Fall finally fell! There’s so
much to do this month, I can’t
wait to see you at see you at the
Rainbows Festival October 6 and 7.
Be sure to stop by the ION Booth!
We’re selling our VIP cards - this
will save you money on your The
List party at AREA, Gold Party, the
Monster Ball tickets and lots more.
Each card is only $15 and is a
great value.
$2 OFF cover (Oct. 5 - AREA Phx)
$2 OFF Any Lunch Menu Entree
(11 am-3 pm)
Buy 1 entree get 1 FREE
(of equal or lesser value.
Limit 2 per table or group)
$1 OFF Drinks
$1 OFF Drinks
10% OFF Food Purchase
15% OFF Food Purchase
(excludes Happy Hour appetizers)
10% OFF
1/2 OFF Cocktails/$5 Martinis
(Sundays only)
$5 OFF Splash Bash 2008 cover
Not only that, but you can be an
ION cover model! Come over to our
booth at the Rainbows Festival and
we’ll take your picture and put it on
a genuine ION magazine cover!
Join the ION Party Crew in Tucson
on Saturday, October 13 for Pride in
the Desert! On Sunday, October 14
they’re staging AIDSWALK Tucson
2007 as part of Southern Arizona’s
fight against AIDS.
SERVICES
LOS OLIVOS HAND CAR WASH $2 OFF any car wash
15% OFF complete detail
ENERGY TANNING 30% OFF any single month
30% OFF whole tanning package
20% OFF Lotion
OPEN WIDE DENTAL $100 OFF Zoom! teeth whitening
ENCANTO FAMILY DENTISTRY 10% OFF any dental procedure
(Excludes Zoom! teeth whitening)
URBAN MEDSPA 20% OFF first visit
NU IMAGE 20% OFF first visit
LASER RX SPA & LASER CTR. 20% OFF Laser RX service pkg.
COMMUNITY TIRE & AUTO $10 OFF any purchase
VALDEZ REFRIGERATION 10% OFF
PUMPED CUT FITNESS 20% OFF supplements
Hey, everybody! We’re pleased as
punch to announce this month’s
Party Penguin is none other than
Robert Dopkins. And, boy, he
knows how to party! Robert’s
friends with everybody - except
Mr. Alcohol! He quit drinking years
ago, but he fell off the wagon
celebrating his birthday recently
in Scottsdale. And after a night of
clubbing he didn’t make any friends
with the Police Department when
he pushed over one cop’s bicycle.
That didn’t make Officer McGruff
very happy, so he shot Robert with
a taser gun twice. Then they sent
Mr. Stinkypants to the pokey for one
long night. So let’s give Robert a
big round of applause - just
as long as it’s not a round
of drinks.
RETAIL
ADULT SHOPPE 10% OFF Merchandise
MOVIES ON CENTRAL Rent two get one rental FREE
(Valid Sunday-Thursday)
FASCINATIONS 15% OFF merchandise
(Must be 18 or older. Excludes
rentals. In-store purchases only)
UNIQUE ON CENTRAL 10% OFF merchandise
(Excludes books, music, movies
and magazines)
ROOT SELLER 10% OFF Merchandise
(excludes MetabolanGH/Artwork)
HOTELS
BLUE MOON RESORT - VEGAS Buy two nights get third night FREE
HOTEL PENASCO - ROCKY POINT Buy 3 nights, get 1 night FREE
MIGUEL’S REST. -TUCSON 10% OFF
LA POSADA HOTEL - TUCSON Buy 2 nights, get 1 FREE
Certain black-out dates and some restrictions may apply.
Offer based upon availability.
Nobody knows how
dry I am!
Party safe! Love,
ADULT
DICK’S CABARET $5 OFF admission (everyday)
DICK’S HANGOUT 2-4-1 VIP Shows (1st dance only)
* Some restrictions apply. See store for details. Not valid with any other offer.
Offers expires October 31, 2008. One special per cardholder per visit.
ION - The Party
Penguin
7
8
3819 North 3rd Street Ste. #10, Phoenix, AZ 85012
(602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939
www.IONAZ.com
CREATIVE DIRECTOR / EDITOR
Kevin Bushaw - Ext. 4 .................. editor@ionaz.com
ASSOCIATE EDITOR
Deon Brown ................................. editor@ionaz.com
SENIOR STAFF WRITER
Kimberly Ruff ................. kimberlymruff@yahoo.com
PRODUCTION & OFFICE MANAGER
production@ionaz.com
ADVERTISING SALES
Jack Tesorero, Ext 6 ................. adsales@Ionaz.com
ADDITIONAL CONTRIBUTORS:
Ted Kirby and Paul Sanchez, Steven Griswold
PHOTOGRAPHERS:
Mike Chesworth
Richard Bolinski
Carl James
Jason Buche
NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE
Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863
CONTRIBUTORS:
David Alan Maxey
Wes Bergman
Kim Ruff
Corey Blanchette
Dave Salcido
Addison DeWitt
Jorge Treviano
Dave Jackson
TO GROW YOUR BUSINESS,
CALL (602) 308-4662.
Published monthly by
© 2007 Tesorero Omni Media
a JMT Designs, Inc. company
PUBLISHER
Jack M. Tesorero .............................. jackt@ionaz.com
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
PRINTED IN THE USA
All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine
remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced,
altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited
usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.
NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily
reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent
company.
Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication
of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To
our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION
Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted
by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and
they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see
a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will
remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos,
and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding
that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper
written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials
of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for
unlawful use of such content.
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PARTY CAM
THIS IS H.O.W. CASINO NIGHT
PARTY CAM
FLEX
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Annual Halloween Spectatular
The gang at BS West cherry picked in their vaults of
Halloween acts from the past decade for a ghoulish
retrospective of fun. Expect feathers, sequins and Michael
Fornelli in fishnet stockings for this sell-out show. Saturday,
October 27 at 8 p.m. 7125 E. 5th Ave. 480-945-9028 or
visit www.BSWest.com
The List - Are you on it?
SWAY Events and Instinct Magazine presents “The List” - the official
opening party for the 2007 Rainbows Festival and a chance for you to
experience AREA Phoenix, the hot, chic, new event space on Friday,
October 5. Sign up and be part of the VIP Opening, Fashion Show and
more. We’ll see you at 2102 N. 23rd Ave. Tickets are available for $15 at
www.SWAYEvents.com. And better yet, portion of the proceeds benefit
Phoenix Body Positive.
Rainbows Festival
“Somewhere Over the Rainbow ...” you’ll find yourself at this
exciting street fair and festival celebrating GLBT diversity with
over 200 exhibitors promoting goods and services. All this fun is
downtown at Heritage Square Park near 7th Street and Monroe
on Saturday and Sunday, October 6 & 7. Best of all, it’s FREE!
Visit www.rainbowsfestival.com for more info.
Sexy DJ Joe Gauthreaux at the Gold Party
Ease on down the road after the Rainbows Festival! This year’s
after-party Saturday, October 6 features sexy DJs Juan Rocha
and Joe Gauthreaux. All this happens at the new hotspot AREA
Phoenix at 2102 N. 23rd Ave. Tix are $20, but you can get $5 off
admission with your new ION VIP card! (see p. 6 for details.) For
info go to TheGoldParty.com
Tucson Pride Festival and Parade
Come down to the Old Pueblo on Saturday, October 13 to enjoy
their hospitality and Pride In The Desert. The 30th Anniversary
Pride Festival will be celebrated at the DeMeester Outdoor
Performance Center in Reid Park with entertainment by Expose,
Kimberly Locke & more. Go to www.TucsonPride.org for more
news.
Arizona State Fair
Who said life isn’t fair? The Arizona State Fair is here from October
12-14. Play Whack-A-Mole, ride the Midway, see Alice Cooper, and
eat frybread ‘til you puke. Check out page 49 for a complete listing on
all the cool concerts coming to the Coliseum this year. Find out more!
Go to www.azstatefair.com for more info.
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Andrew’s Ent. Annual “Monster Ball”
Andrews Entertainment turns the new, glam
AREA Phoenix into a zombie zone on
Saturday, October 27 featuring the best in DJ
entertainment, lights and sound. It’ll be ghoulicious! 2102 N. 23rd Ave. in Phoenix. Click on
www.monster-ball.com for more.
OCTOBER 2007 ION SPECIAL EVENTS CALENDAR
DATE
EVENT
LOCATION
CITY
10/1
Gay World Series Opening
Phoenix Municipal Stadium
Phoenix
10/5
The List
AREA
Phoenix
10/5
Skandalo Nights Grand Opening
Club Mango
Glendale
10/5-8
White Party Las Vegas
Various Locations
Las Vegas
10/6-7
Rainbows Festival
Heritage Square
Phoenix
10/6
GOLD: Rainbows Afterparty
AREA
Phoenix
10/6
Afterparty w/ Real World’s Ruthie
E Lounge
Phoenix
10/7
Miss Gay Chandler
Wild Card
Chandler
10/13
Tucson Pride feat. Exposé
Reid Park
Tucson
10/13
After-Pride Party
The Biz
Tucson
10/14
Aidswalk Tucson
University of Arizona Campus Tucson
10/13-14 Hallo-weenie Party
Dick’s Cabaret
Phoenix
10/18
Pre-Black Party
Sky Lounge
Phoenix
10/19
Positive Energy feat. Julie Brown
Tempe Center for the Arts
Tempe
10/27
Treasures and Pleasures Sale
Cell Block
Phoenix
10/27
Monster Ball
AREA
Phoenix
10/27
BS Best Of Show
BS West
Scottsdale
10/31
Halloween Costume Contest
Karamba
Phoenix
10/31
Girls that go ‘Bump’ Contest
Apollo’s
Phoenix
10/31
$200 Costume Contest
Amsterdam
Phoenix
11/7
3rd Annual Miss Mundo Gay
Karamba Nightclub
Phoenix
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18
Mandy Moore at Martini Ranch
Yes, it’s true, Mandy Moore has hit the road in an attempt
to shed her teen heartthrob image and prove to the world
that she’s a soulful singer-songwriter, through support of her
critically acclaimed album, Wild Hope. Opening the show will
be Rachael Yamagata and Chris Stills. At Martini Ranch in
Scottsdale, October 8, 2007. Call (480) 970-0500.
Julie Brown, Nemesis & The Ultralounge DJs
Get ready to have the time of your lives as the one
and only Julie Brown and reality show darlings
Nemesis kick off Positive Energy 2007, the annual
benefit concert for Phoenix Body Positive. After party
and dancing will be provided courtesy of Ultra Lounge
DJs. At the Tempe Center For The Arts, October 19,
2007. More Info: (602) 307-5330 ext. 2221.
OCTOBER 2007 ION CONCERT CALENDAR
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DATE
EVENT/ARTIST
LOCATION
1-2
3
7
7
8
9
12
12
12
13
13
15
18
19
19
19
20
23
24
24
25
27
28
29
Leon Russell
B. Adams, G. Thorogood & The Destroyers
Alan Jackson, Brooks & Dunn
Jethro Tull
Mandy Moore
The Shins
Pat Benatar
Hootie & The Blowfish
Ricky Scaggs, B. Hornsby, Kentucky Thndr
Chicago
Spin Doctors
Dark Star Orchestra
Junior Brown
Julie Brown & Nemesis
Doobie Brothers
Kansas
The Donnas
Peter Frampton
Billy Ray Cyrus
Maria Muldaur
Chevelle
Blue October
Kenny Loggins
Static-X
Rhythm Room, Phoenix
Dodge Theatre, Phoenix
Cricket Pavilion, Phoenix
Mesa Arts Center, Mesa
Martini Ranch, Scottsdale
Celebrity Theatre, Phoenix
Dodge Theatre, Phoenix
Jobing.com Arena, Glendale
Mesa Arts Center, Mesa
Maricopa County Events Center
West Gate Plaza, Glendale
Marquee Theatre, Tempe
The Rhythm Room, Phoenix
Tempe Center for the Arts
West Gate Plaza, Glendale
The Brickhouse, Phoenix
The Rhythm Room, Phoenix
Nov. 1
Nov. 3
Nov. 6
Leo Kottke
David Allan Coe
Diana Ross
Scottsdale Center for the Arts
The Clubhouse, Tempe
Maricopa County Events Center
21
by Dave Jackson
djackson@virginmega.com
Yo, DJ! What’s New?
What better way to celebrate a birthday
than sipping margaritas on the beaches of
Tahiti? And even though I’ll miss this year’s
Rainbows Festival, make sure to celebrate
for me by stopping by the Virgin Megastore
booth! So until I get back check out these
amazing albums and get ready for the
incredible talent that is about to come.
and beautiful. Melissa is superb on
“Kingdom of Heaven,” soars on “Imagine
That,” asks you to wake up in “What
happens Tomorrow” and goes country
cliché on “Threesome.” Perhaps not as
rockish as we’ve come to expect, but this
album sure has Grammy written all over it.
James Blunt
All The Lost Souls
Annie Lennox
Songs of Mass Destruction
James is aware of
the “sophomore
slump” but he’s not
letting that influence
him. Now backed
by a band, look for
this album to go in
a slightly different
direction - one that
has influences of seventies rock. First
single “1973,” has a fun and almost disco
vibe, reminiscent of early Fleetwood Mac
while “I Can’t Hear the Music,” Blunt’s
personal favorite, speaks of great scrutiny.
For me however, the song “Same Mistake”
just reverberates with style. Perhaps not
worthy of 11 million sales and 5 Grammy
nods, it still is great music.
On her fourth
album, Annie
preaches intense
messages but
does so with an
upbeat charisma
full of love and
hope. Produced
by Glen Ballard
of Morrisette’s Jagged Little Pill, this
duo creates a soulful masterpiece that
Lennox calls authentically raw with beauty,
yearning and sadness. Lead single “Dark
Road” starts off with Lennox’s eerie
towering vocals with an ending that is
almost fanfare in nature. Also included
is the female power collaboration “Sing”
featuring Madonna and 21 other diva
superstars. The highlight of this album
however proves to be the upbeat “Ghosts
in My Machine.” Oh, how good it is to have
Annie back!
Josh Groban – Noel
With the holiday
season just weeks
away, get it the
mood with what
will be the biggest
holiday album of
the year. Perfect
for every occasion,
Josh teams up with
the London Philharmonic Orchestra and
offers 12 tracks full of Christmas cheer.
Classics, “Silent Night,” I’ll be Home for
Christmas” and “Ave Maria” are all here
along with two duets with Brian McKnight
and Faith Hill. But the icing on the cake
proves to be “O Come All Ye Faithful”
with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. It just
doesn’t get any better.
Melissa Etheridge
The Awakening
After conquering
cancer and winning
an Oscar for Gore’s
documentary,
Melissa is ready to
get personal on her
first album in over
three years. The
Awakening, led by
the catchy single, “Message to Myself,” is
full of glorious moments. Complete with 16
tracks, this album is political, inspirational
23
A fresh adaptation of Bram Stoker’s classic novel pumps
new blood into the stage play, Dracula, when the predatory
Count begins to exert his fearsome will upon the unsuspecting
residents of Victorian London. Presented by Theatre Works
at Peoria Center for the Performing Arts, October 5 – 27. Call
623-815-7930 for performance and ticket info.
The Tony Award-winner for Best Musical, Avenue Q,
features a cast of people and puppets telling their smart,
risqué and downright entertaining cautionary tale about
trying to make it in New York City with big dreams, high
hopes and a tiny bank account. At the Tucson Music Hall,
October 16 – 21. Call 520-903-2929 for more information.
OCTOBER 2007 ION THEATRE & STANDUP CALENDAR
DATE
11-28
Thru 10/6
Thru 10/7
Thru 10/13
Thru 10/14
Thru 12/15
10/3-7
10/4-7
10/4-21
10/5
10/5-6
10/5-27
10/5-11/4
10/6
10/6-21
10/11-14
10/11-11/24
10/11-28
10/12-11/4
10/12-13
10/16-24
10/16-11/4
10/17
10/18-21
10/19-20
10/23-24
10/24-28
10/25
10/25-28
10/26-27
10/26-11/11
10/30-11/11
EVENT/ARTIST
George Gershwin Alone
The Rainmaker
The Big Voice
The Taming of the Shrew
Jersey Boys
Dracula: The Musical?
Diet! The Musical
Rich Vos & John DiResta
Dust Eaters
Axis Of Evil Comedy Tour
J. Richards & J. Caponera
Dracula
The Music Man
NBC’s Last Comic Standing
Fiddler On The Roof
Craig Shoemaker
The Lucky Stiff
The Story
Be Aggressive
Sean Kent
Avenue Q
Touch The Names
Shrf. Joe’s Pink Collar Cmdy
Dave Attell
Ron Morey
Latino Comedy Night
Movin’ Out
ComedySchools.com Show.
Daniel Tosh
Clayton Fletcher
The Pursuit Of Happiness
Wishful Drinking
LOCATION
Arizona Theatre Company
Hale Centre Theatre
Invisible Theatre
Southwest Shakespeare Co.
ASU Gammage
Scottsdale Desert Stages
Scotts. Ctr / Performing Arts
The Improv
Borderlands Theater
Celebrity Theatre
The Comedy Spot
Theater Works
Scottsdale Desert Stages
Mesa Arts Center
AZ Jewish Theatre
The Improv
Hale Centre Theatre
Black Theatre Troupe
AZ Woman’s Theatre Co.
The Comedy Spot
Tucson Music Hall
Arizona Theatre Company
The Improv
The Improv
The Comedy Spot
The Improv
Theater League
The Comedy Spot
The Improv
The Comedy Spot
Actor’s Theatre
Call for location information
25
PHONE
(602) 526-6995
(480) 497-1181
(502) 822-9721
(480) 644-6500
(480) 784-4444
(480) 483-1664
(480) 994-2787
(480) 921-9877
(520) 882-7406
(602) 267-1600
(480) 945-4422
(623) 815-7930
(480) 483-1664
(480) 644-6500
(602) 264-0402
(480) 921-9877
(480) 497-1181
(602) 258-8128
(480) 607-7107
(480) 945-4422
(520) 903-2929
(520) 622-2823
(480) 921-9877
(480) 921-9877
(480) 945-4422
(480) 921-9877
(602) 534-5600
(480) 945-4422
(480) 921-9877
(480) 945-4422
(602) 252-8497
(480) 994-2787
by Kimberly M. Ruff
30 Days of Night
Two tricks and one treat for you in the
theaters this Halloween. Enjoy (if you
dare!)
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Danny
Huston, Melissa George, Ben Foster
Based on the miniseries of horror comics
of the same name written by Steve Niles
and illustrated by Ben Templesmith,
30 Days of Night explores the idea of a
small, isolated Alaskan town becoming a
feeding ground for a blood-thirsty gang
of vampires when the sun slips below the
horizon for its darkest winter month.
A quintessential hero tale with horror film
overtones, only the Sheriff, Eban Oleson
(Hartnett) and his wife, Stella (George)
stand between the residents and almost
certain destruction.
The Heartbreak Kid
Starring: Ben Stiller, Michelle
Monaghan, Malin Akerman
Commitment-phobic Eddie Cantrow
(Stiller) watches as every woman he’s
ever dated finds everlasting love after him
and realizes that while he’s going to get
old regardless, he’d rather not do it alone.
Of course, this 180 ends up impairing his
judgment so that when Eddie meets Lila
(Akerman), the spunky blonde bunny,
he’s full throttle down the aisle.
Although I am not a particularly huge
fan of the horror genre, I did read this
At first, it seems he’s done the right
thing but a road trip to Cabo San Lucas
illustrates just how incompatible he and
Lila are. Add a sexy, emotionally-stable
brunette named Miranda (Monaghan) to
the mix and you’ve got yourself another,
predictable plot for a romantic comedy.
Toss in a few gross scenes a constant
onslaught of jokes about feces, sexual
fluids, and physical maladies and you
have yourself another Farrelly Brothers
(Something About Mary) movie.
comic during my pseudo-goth phase
during high school (ok, and after high
school for a few pathetic years) and I
found it to be unique in concept and
disturbing in content. If the film bears
any resemblance to Templesmith’s
gorgeous, disturbing illustrations, you’re
in for a treat this Halloween. Release
Date: October 19, 2007.
On one hand, if you think Ben Stiller
getting upset and making a scene is the
height of comedic brilliance, this movie
is probably another gem to add to your
overwhelmingly sad collection. Or, if
you’re a prepubescent, socially-inept
male who thinks fart jokes are the height
of comedic brilliance, this movie is right
up your alley. Otherwise, you’ll probably
find this movie tedious and childish.
Release Date: October 5, 2007.
Saw IV
Starring: Tobin Bell, Lyriq Bent,
Costas Mandylor
Apparently, we were all wrong. Thought
Jigsaw (Bell) finally died at the end of
Saw III? Did you think Hollywood could
retire a profitable series after only three
installations after the main character is
(continued on page 30)
29
(continued from page 29)
killed off? Well, think again my beautiful,
naïve friends! When there’s money to be
made, no character, however evil, ever
dies. And so, here we are, about the fall
victim to the latest installation is the new
neverending story that is Saw. “More
gory and less story”, must be the motto
they subscribe to because damned if I
can find a plot. Release Date: October
26, 2007.
Questions? Comments? Contact the
writer at kimberlyruff@yahoo.com.
OCTOBER 2007 MOVIE OPENINGS
OPENS TITLE
GENRE
RATING
9/28
9/28
9/28
9/28
9/28
10/5
10/5
10/5
10/5
10/5
10/12
10/12
10/12
10/12
10/12
10/19
10/19
10/19
10/19
10/19
Comedy/Family/Sports
Action/Drama/Thriller
Action/Comedy/Drama
Drama/Romance/Thriller/War
Drama/Romance
Action/Adventure/Drama/Fantasy
Comedy/Drama/Romance
Documentary
Comedy
Drama
Crime/Drama
Drama
Drama/Thriller
Comedy/Drama
Comedy/Drama/Mystery/Thriller
Horror/Thriller
Thriller
Drama
Drama/Thriller
Crime/Drama/Mystery
PG
R
R
NC-17
R
PG
R
PG-13
PG-13
PG-13
R
PG-13
R
PG-13
R
R
PG-13
R
R
R
The Game Plan
The Kingdom
The Darjeeling Limited
Lust, Caution
Feast of Love
The Seeker: The Dark...
The Heartbreak Kid
My Kid Could Paint That
Finishing the Game
Feel the Noise
We Own the Night
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Michael Clayton
Why Did I Get Married?
Sleuth
30 Days of Night
Rendition
Things We Lost in the Fire
Reservation Road
Gone Baby Gone
30
by Wes Bergman
wesobergman@yahoo.com
Brothers &
Sisters
goings of this very large brood, every
single character on Brothers & Sisters
is a very solid human being, fashioned
by the writers and breathed to life by
the exceptional cast.
(TV, 2006)
Starring: Sally
Field, Ron
Rifkin, Calista
Flockhart,
Rachel
Griffiths,
Patricia Wettig
The seventyyear old patriarch of the Walker
family, William (Tom Skerritt) dies
and leaves his wife, Nora (Field) and
their five children a lifetime of lies
to uncover and cope with including
questionable financial decisions that
threaten to jeopardize the family
business, a twenty year affair with
another woman, and a half-sister.
While every actor on this show holds
their own at the dinner table, there
is one notable exception: Patricia
Wettig, who plays Holly Hunter,
the second half of William Walker’s
twenty-year affair and the physical
antithesis of Sally Field’s Nora,
brings utter humanity to an archetype
that would be usually granted none.
Her stunning ice-blue eyes, frosted
with contempt or moist with humility,
capture the entire essence of her
character: a beautiful woman who
gave her youth and heart to a man
who already gave his to his wife.
Although it sounds just as dramaridden as a daytime soap, the
fundamental difference between
Brothers & Sisters and One Life to
Live, aside from the total absence of
alien abductions, is the completely
honest exploration of a large family
dynamic and the manner in which
family members both serve as each
other salvation and damnation. Played
out over gloriously disastrous family
meals where everyone talks over each
other and beautifully touching one-onones where they opt to listen rather
than be heard, Brothers & Sisters is a
refreshing new one-hour drama from
ABC that starts its second season this
month.
And such is the story of Brothers
& Sisters as revealed in Season 1:
while life never plays out like how we
imagined, we’re still living it and we do
the best we can with what we’ve got,
including our very large, very loud,
very loving families.
The Lair
(TV, 2007)
Want a recipe
for a disaster?
Take part Red
Shoe Diaries
and part
Interview with
a Vampire,
modernize it,
make it GLBT
friendly, fill it
with sharp-eyed pretty boys that would
be better in stills than in motion, mix
in a script written by a fifth grader
(who’s only as smart as a third grader)
and VOILA! You’ve got yourself
Here TV’s new television series, The
In a television series – whether we’re
dealing with a half-hour sitcom or
a one-hour drama – the only thing
that keeps it fresh from episode to
episode without weighing it down with
clichés is to create characters that are
stronger than the sum of their parts.
Despite the constant comings-and33
Lair. Fledgling journalist, Thom (David
Moretti), has been working diligently but
to no avail on the “John Doe” murders, a
series of murders whose only connection
appears to be the unidentified gay
victims. When a gibbering janitor drops
an antique necklace and a bombshell
in his lap one fateful afternoon, Thom’s
attention gets turned to the mysterious
cummings ... and goings at the exclusive
sex club, The Lair. As it turns out, the
proprietors of The Lair are bloodthirsty
vampires (are there any other kind?) and
Thom’s deep in it before he even knows
what’s going.
The fact that the TV series promises
all the steamy goodness of Queer as
Folk without any of the great character
development or story movement not
withstanding, The Lair raises a little less
of one part of my body and a lot more of
my eyebrows.
The show is set in a small town but
dependent on people being able to
maintain their anonymity and covert
operations. I’m sorry, but anyone who’s
ever lived in a small town knows damn
well that you can’t do anything without
your neighbor finding out about it and
promptly informing their (and your)
friends. Additionally, 99.9% of the
cast is nothing but gay men! The only
heterosexuals in the whole damn town
is the alternative reality version of Hulk
and Linda Hogan. I don’t know about
you, but if possibly getting my blood
sucked and having to look at that straight
guy’s ugly mug is the only downfall of
existence in this Gay Utopia, I’ll take it!
Especially when nobody works a 40 hour
work week and has enough time to go
around soaping their asses and staring
at glorious orgies.
If you want eye candy, you got it.
Undeniably, these guys are babes.
But remember: good looks are not
necessarily synonymous with talent.
They couldn’t act their way out of a wet,
paper bag even if you pointed them in
the direction of the opening and coached
them toward it by telling them when they
were getting warm. Just turn the volume
off. Trust me: it does the trick!
PARTY CAM
KOBALT
PARTY CAM
38
38
Make the Switch
With twenty titillating,
mouthwatering
sandwiches to
choose from, you’re
bound to fall in love
with a bevy of these
babies. The Spartan
Pita was stuffed with
shaved chicken,
cucumber, tomato,
red onion, feta,
olives, spinach, parsley and yogurt dill
dressing on a warm pita.
Make the Switch
and get your wish.
Those brilliant boys
who brought you Fez
and Ticoz Resto-Bar
have given birth to
yet another bouncing
baby in the Central
Corridor. Hip Switch is
located just south of
fusty old Durant’s right
on Central at Virginia. This grab ‘n’ go
bakery and sit-down restaurant has a
wide variety of items on the menu with
enough to get you started from the
crack of dawn to suppertime. True to
form, they’ve got treats to satisfy every
tastebud and each wallet.
For zee entrée, messieurs et
madames, may we suggest les Puff
Pastry Galettes? Ooh la la! These
open faced baked puff pastry pies
are served five different ways. Try
the prosciutto ham, fresh mozzarella,
pesto and tomato. The flakey crust
and succulent fillings are non pareil.
If you’re up ‘n’ at ‘em when the cock
crows at dawn try the Switch Benedict.
This swell spin on a fancy favorite
features country bread with ham,
provolone, poached eggs under a
creamy blanket of rich hollandaise
sauce. On the side you’ll get a spate of
spuds and a lovely garnish of tomato
and chives. Don’t be a weenie! Get
the Breakfast Panini! This ‘wich has
scrambled eggs, bacon, aioli and
smoked Gouda on grilled bread.
Delish! But instead of the nighttime-ish
“urban chill” Muzak piped in wouldn’t it
be charming to greet the day with some
fun retro stuff like Doris Day or even
some Big Band music? Now that says
“good morning” to me. Just an idea.
Switch just had a grand opening and
ribbon cutting ceremony last month
with Hizzonah da Mayor, Phil Gordon,
snipping the sash while handsome
Tom Jetland and crew tossed freshly
baked muffins to the greedy crowd of
well-wishers. On October 3rd they’ll
be granted their eagerly awaited
liquor license. We can’t wait to try the
Caipirinha cocktail. How perfect can
that be? Pretty darn perfect.
When the highly touted Light Rail
rumbles by you’ll hear the clang,
clang, clang of the trolley and
everybody in town will switch to
Switch. Be among the first and you’ll
be way cool. If you haven’t already,
discover Switch now.
Tease you tongue with any one of the
Switch appetizers. But tops on our list
is the Baked Lobster and Parmesan
Gratin with crisp crouton spears. Hot,
rich and addicting, you’ll crave this
crazy crustacean swimming in a dense
pool of gooey cheese.
40
You’ll find Switch at 2603 N. Central
Ave. They’re open seven days a week
from 8 a.m. - 10 p.m.
41
Meet the Guys
Jeremiah G
Age: 26
Sign: Virgo
Occupation: Server at Jaded, Assistant Tailor, Student
Originally from: Diamond Bar, CA
Turn-ons: Rhythm, good manners.
Turn-offs: Bad taste, bad fashion.
For fun: Read, write, sew, and shop.
Favorite Sports: Track & Field.
Dream Destination: Athens, Greece.
When did you come out? 17
Rudy M.
Age: 21
Sign: Virgo
Occupation: Medical Biller
Originally from: Mesa, AZ
Turn-ons: Great smile/ass/body/personality.
Turn-offs: Anti-scoial behaviour.
For fun: Go out, hang with friends...
chillaxin’.
Favorite Sports: Golf, water skiing.
Dream Destination: Kauaii
When did you come out? 19
602-993-4567 phx
520-791-2345 tuc
Get a Date Tonight!
See ad on page 93 (Free code: 4448)
42
43
by Mark Layne
Nutrition for Big Muscle Growth
Make sure you’re drinking lots of pure
water; don’t try to use the water in
coffee, soft drinks etc. to compute how
much you are drinking. Drink at least
eight ounces every 20 minutes during
your workout and
try to hit a total of at
least 64 ounces per
day.
There are countless articles which
sometimes conflict with each other
regarding how you should fuel your
body to be fit. Here are some basics
that seem to transcend various
viewpoints on
the subject
and should be
cornerstones
of your fitness
program. If you’re
lifting heavy and
really want to
have eye popping
muscles, you’ve
got to follow this.
Never skip breakfast!
You have got to
kick start your
metabolism after
fasting for the
night. Make this
meal a big one or
your metabolism will
stall, then store calories as body fat.
When you think of your six meals a
day always make the first one higher
in carbs and the last meal of the day
lighter in carbs.
Use this basic
formula to determine your total calorie
requirements. Use your bodyweight
multiplied by 17 to get a baseline for
your daily needs. So if you are 150 lbs.
then you need approximately 2550.
If you’re lifting heavy and trying to
increase muscle size without getting
fat then add about 400 calories to this
baseline on workout days. That comes
to nearly 3000 calories.
That’s a lot of calories but they have
to be quality foods, not junk or heavily
processed foods. Aim for approximately
two grams of protein per pound of body
weight. In the above example you would
consume 300 grams (1200 calories)
of protein daily. Your meals need to be
split up about every three hours during
the course of the day. That comes to
about 40% protein then
carbohydrates should
be another 412 grams
(1650 calories)
which is 55% and
finally 5% should
come from fat.
That fat amounts
to 17 grams (150
calories).
44
45
Make your post workout meal a good
balance of protein and carbs. The carbs
are needed to help the body absorb
amino acids. Your insulin levels will rise
and your muscle growth process will
explode!
Now, this all seems like a lot to “digest”
and it is but you have to decide if you’re
serious about building a strong sexy
body or if you are going to be a wannabe. How about the lifting program that
goes with this diet? Well, watch for the
next issue but if you can’t wait then
come and see me or any other certified
trainer, most of us will provide a
consultation in the first session for free!
Mark Layne is a Certified Personal
Trainer and owner of PUMPEDCUT
Fitness located at 4314 N. 7th Avenue,
Phoenix, 85013. He can be reached
at 480-861-6284 or on the web at
pumpedcut.com
46
47
2007 STATE FAIR CONCERT CALENDAR
All shows are FREE with Fair admission on a first come, first served basis. You may
purchase reserved seat tickets through Ticketmaster or at the Coliseum Box Office now.
DATE
Oct. 13
Oct. 14
Oct. 16
Oct. 19
Oct. 20
Oct. 23
Oct. 26
Oct. 27
Oct. 31
Nov. 1
Nov. 2
Nov. 3
ARTIST
Gretchen Wilson
Chris Daughtry
Weird Al Yankovic
Live & Collective Soul
Rihanna
Kid Rock
Montgomery Gentry
Howie Mandel
Alice Cooper
CMT On Tour (Sugarland)
Old School Jam (Various)
Steve Miller Band
49
TIME / PRICE
7pm - $20 reserve seating
7pm - Free!
7 pm - $25 reserve seating
58
Carl James - Photographer
Born and raised in Phoenix, Carl James of Carl James Photography strives for
perfection. Although James loved photography since he was a teen, he didn’t pursue
it until 1999. Since then, he has maintained a busy schedule with model portfolios,
headshots and magazines like ION. James is fast becoming one of the most sought
after photographers in Arizona and is destined to become world-renowned. For more
information or how to contact Carl, visit CarlJamesPhotography.com
Kevin Bushaw - Creative Director
A native of Washington State, Kevin came down to Arizona for school, but never
left. This November marks his fourth anniversary with ION, and when he’s not toiling away in front of a computer, he can be found hangin’ out anywhere outside in
the beautiful Arizona weather with his partner Jack and their two dogs Rocky and
Shmoopie.
Joey Sarandos-Durisek - Art Director
Joey Sarandos is a home town boy. He and his partner Dr. Thommy D are active and
supportive members of our Phoenix community. Joey has a diverse background with
everything from accounting to Interior design. His true passion lies in the creation of all
things beautiful. Joey has a keen eye, creative mind and a flair for fashion.He is thrilled
to bring his experience in photo styling and set design to this fierce publication.
Jessica Puleo - Makeup Artist
One of Arizona’s hottest makeup artists Jessica is the mastercraftsman behind this
month’s models. Jessica has been in the makeup industry for 5 years and specializes in makeup artistry for fashion shows, costuming, print- work, beauty, transformational and bridal makeups. To make an appointment e-mail puleo44@hotmail.
com or www.myspace.com/makeupsbyjessica
Ivan Garcia - Hair Stylist
Ivan was born in Mexico and grew up in San Diego, CA. He founded a dance company
when he was 15 years old and went on to major in Dance and Theater at San Diego State
University - directing & choreographing for the company for 14 years. His is now pursuing
a career in the fashion industry focusing on hair and make-up. He and his partner Gabriel
Díaz are currently opening a new clothing boutique in Phoenix called Dragonfly.
Production Assistant ....................................................................Alex Fox, GSD
Snake Handler................................................................................Jason Stauffer
No animals were harmed in the creation of this photo feature.
Models provided by Network Intenational:
Alana Towne & Santiago Peralta
Other models: Gwen Lassen, Chris Bebee (Miss McKenzie), and Slade Cole
Chris Bebee a.k.a. Miss Mya McKenzie
Originally from San Francisco, California, Chris has been a resident of Phoenix for twelve years. Residing in
a downtown historical district with his loving partner of six years and two terrific min-pins who are their
children, Chris, as Miss Mya McKenzie, recently won the coveted title of Miss Gay Arizona America 2007
along with winning Miss Gay Phoenix America 2007.
“I have been privileged to work with some amazing promoters such as Danny Scott, Daniel Eckstrom, (Miss
Gay Arizona America Promoters) Claudia B, as well as Michael Weidmann (Miss Gay Phoenix America
Promoters). I have been involved in the art of female illusion for nine years, and enjoy every minute of it. I am
the show director every Thursday night at Amsterdam, as well as the Wild Card every Saturday night!”
64
Dental Applications.......................... Dr. Thomas Durisek of Open Wide Dental
Fashions and Costume Jewelry available at Boom Boom LaRue’s
(Inside the Antique Marketplace on 16th St. and Indian School Rd.)
Jewelry available at Burland Jewlers (16th St. and Bethany Home Rd.)
Additional costuming supplies from Easley’s Fun Shop (5th Ave. and
McDowell Rd.) and Mardi Gras Costumes (5895 N. Granite Reef Rd.,
in beautiful Scottsdale)
66
Exclusive Interview:
Avenue Queer
By David Salcido
I
t’s hard to imagine anything more queer
than a risqué Tony Award-winning Broadway hit featuring people and puppets
singing about gay roommates, racism, internet porn and loud sex. Unless, of course, you
consider the closeted, Republican investment
banker, Rod, one of the stars of the show,
a “fabricated American” with an invisible
girlfriend living in Canada and a huge crush
on his slobby roommate, Nicky.
Comparisons to Bert and Ernie aside, Rod
and Nicky are just two of the many colorful
characters living and loving on the hit touring
musical, Avenue Q. Given the opportunity to
interview Rod, we jumped at the chance. Like
everyone else, we had to know: is he or isn’t
he? You decide.
IONAZ: So, what’s it like living on
Avenue Q?
AVENUE Q: Life on Avenue Q has its ups
and downs. The rent is cheap, well... cheaper
for Manhattan... and I live with my roommate,
Nicky, who contributes nothing to the bills.
Nothing. Nada. Ugh.
Hmm. Well, who is your favorite
character on Avenue Q?
That said ... Nicky is still my favorite
person on the Avenue. Why? His
charm, his sense of humor, his soft
spoken honesty ... and the way his biceps
look when he takes of his ... never mind.
Next question.
Ooookay ... Do you think this traveling
show presents a good example of New
York City life, for those who have
never visited before?
I think Avenue Q is one of the best
representations of New York life
ever! Because it doesn’t sugar coat
it. Anyone who has lived in the Big
Apple will tell you, it’s hard! But also
very thrilling.
69
That’s great! Have you ever visited the
Southwest before? I so, what do you
think of the experience?
I have never been to the Southwest, and let
me tell you, I have been LOVING IT! It gets
all hot outside, but not as humid as New
York. It’s that wonderful dry heat that makes
all the men take their shirts off, which is an
added bonus ... for any woman, who might
happen to be passing by.
Oh, of course. Avenue Q has been a
huge hit on Broadway, which means
a movie deal can’t be far away. What
famous actors do you see playing the
puppets in a live action, blockbuster
version of Avenue Q, directed by, say,
Michael Bey?
WOW! Great question! Okay, here is my
dream team cast: for Princeton, Toby
McGuire. Kate ... hmmm ... Kate Winslet,
but only because Judy
Garland is dead.
Nicky, that one is
easy: Jake Gyllenhaal or Heath
Ledger. Trekkie...
harder... hmm...
Sir Ian McKellan. Lucy the
Slut, easy:
Lindsay Lohan
the Slut.
And Rod... hmmm... Who truly resembles
me? Either Christian Bale or Hugh Jackman.
Interesting choices ... So, if you could
pick your next Broadway gig, your dream
role, what would it be?
My dream role? Elpheba in Wicked. I’m the
wrong color, but I feel I was born to play that
role.
And given the opportunity to act against
any actor, living or dead, in a movie, who
would you choose and why?
That’s easy. I would want to play opposite
Judy Garland. We are kindred spirits.
I see, and would you ever consider a
guest spot on a television series?
tops your list and why?
Sexy Conservatives ... hmm ... Number one
would have to be Ronald Reagan. He was
a hot movie star, after all. Number two: The
Terminator. Remember when he fell from the
sky all naked and stuff? Mmm...
I do. While we’re on the subject of your,
ahem ... proclivity ... what, exactly, do
you think of Bush?
What do I think of Bush? I think it went out in
the seventies. Ladies are sporting the landing strip, or waxing it completely these days.
Alright. So, if I were to peek under your
bed, what might I find there?
If you were to look under my bed, you would
find a small locked briefcase with
all my investment paperwork inside
... and NOTHING else!
I’ll bet. James Lipton question:
If Ben & Jerry’s were to name an
ice cream after you, what would
it be and what would be in it?
Lost, I would want to be on Lost! Why?
‘Cause if I had to be stranded on a deserted
Island with anyone, It would be all of those
hot ass guys ... and girls ... hot girls.
That’s all very illuminating. So, let me
ask you, the song “Everyone’s A Little Bit
Racist” aside, have you ever felt discriminated against, because of who you are?
I have felt discriminated against. Being an
investment banker with a flair for the flamboyant has its downfalls. And my fellow Republicans don’t quite understand my Barbra
Streisand collection.
Hm. I wonder why. So, Rod, what’s your
stance on gay marriage?
Gay marriage ... hmmm ... Well, shouldn’t all
marriage be gay? If you’re not happy, why get
married?!! I say “glitter and be gay!”
Okay, then. Sexy Conservatives. Who
If Ben and Jerry’s made an Ice
Cream for me, it would be ... “Rod’s
Closet Cream.” You would have to
dig through mostly hard vanilla ice
cream, but once you got inside,
you’d find the most fabulous array of pink
sugar coated fantasy!
I think I’ve learned everything I came
here to learn, Rod. Thanks for that. One
last question: why should people rush
out to see Avenue Q?
People should rush out to see Avenue Q,
because in addition to hilarious shock value,
and raunchy humor, the show has a huge
heart, and is truly about finding love, purpose, and ultimately ... finding yourself.
_
Avenue Q will make a stop at the Tucson
Music Hall, October 16 - 21. Tickets are
$20-$50 and are available through Ticketmaster.com, or by calling 520-321-1000 or
at the Tucson Convention Ctr. Ticket Office,
260 S. Church Ave. during regular business
hours (Mon-Fri, 10 am-6 pm, Sat, 10 am4 pm and Sun 12 Noon-4 pm.) Many thanks
to Avenue Q actor/puppeteer, Rob McClure,
for giving us insight into his alter ego, Rod.
Exclusive Interview: by Ted Kirby
Exposé Yourself at Tucson Pride!
D
uring my senior year of high school
in southeast Michigan, when I was
still parting my hair in the middle
and feathering it on the sides, I first
heard Come Go With Me on the radio. I
became addicted to that rhythm and discovered those distinct harmonious gifts
of song were none other than Exposé.
1987 debut album Exposure which also
included their #1 hit sensation “Seasons
Change.” That debut album remains
one of the most successful dance
albums ever released. Their sophomore
album, What You Don’t Know, spawned
another three consecutive Top 10 hit
singles!
Exposé is honored as being the very
first group in the rock era to have the
most Top 10 hit singles off of a
debut album. The ladies received another prestigious honor for being the first
girl group ever to have seven back-toback Top 10 hits!
Two decades ago these professional
Pop powerhouses were instrumental in
solidifying their freestyle music foundation and making a substantial contribution to ‘80s dance music.
Gioia Bruno shared her thoughts with
me and the readers of ION. Now,
“Come Go With Me” and let’s see what
the girls have been up to lately ...
Exposé (Gioia Bruno, Ann Curless, and
Jeanette Jurado) exploded onto the
music scene with their contagious chartbreaking dance hits (Come Go With
Me, and Point of No Return) from their
After 20 years of having numerous
top 10 hit singles, what are your
73
thoughts on being one of the most
popular girl groups ever in the rock
era?
you have any influence on the other
girls in the group to perform at the Gay
Pride events this year?
The response we get still suprises us. It’s
always nice to hear stories about how our
music effects people, and how it brings
back memories of good times for them.
The girls were very excited about performing at Pride events. It’s a lot of fun
and the Gay community has been and
continues to be very loyal and supportive.
During a Good Morning America interview several years ago, Ann mentioned
that all of you were “career women.”
It’s been over 15 years since the group
has performed together; what career
pursuits have each of you had between
then and now?
At the end of June of this year, Exposé
performed as the headliner for two
Gay Pride events in Columbus and
San Francisco, how was the overall
experience for you?
We’ve all worked on different projects
both musical and non-musical. Ann has
a career in sales and writes music for
herself and other artists. She has a family;
two boys and a new baby girl. Jeanette
also writes and has performed in Vegas in
various shows and with her band, she has
two little boys. I started a school for the
performing arts and continue to write and
perform my own material. My daughter is
grown and is in her second year of college.
While on your current tour, how has
the reception been from your fans
of 20 years compared to new fans
recently discovering the infectious
dance music of Exposé?
The same, everyone’s always excited,
it’s usually parents that turn their kids;
our new fans, onto our music. They bring
them to our shows. Even our new fans
have been listening to us for years.
[We] had a blast!
All of you had musical influences
when you were growing up—Ann you
had Linda Ronstadt, Jeanette you had
Barbra Streisand, and Gioia you had
Pat Benatar and Heart. Who do you
feel are today’s musical influences?
What was the catalyst that brought
the group back together over the past
year?
The time was just right. We hadn’t been
able to work together due to our schedules and raising/having children has taken
top priority. For the most part we perform
on the weekends so that we can be with
our families the majority of the time.
It’s different today, there’s so much music
to choose from and it makes for a much
more diverse and eclectic mix of genres.
The internet has given people a choice.
We don’t have to listen to the top 10 or 20
songs on the Billboard charts if we don’t
want to. It’s a personal thing.
_
How does it feel to be performing together on the road again?
It feels like old times but better. We’ve all
grown so much and have much more to
offer each other and our fans. I think we
appreciate each other more and it shows
in everything we do.
Exposé performs live, on stage for
Tucson’s Pride in the Desert 2007 at the
DeMeester Performance Center in Reid
Park on Saturday, October 13th. Visit
www.tucsonpride.org for more info.
Gioia, you have performed for several
years within the gay community. Did
74
Vol. 1, Issue 8
OCTOBER 2007
OUTRAGEOUS!
Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.
MISS GAY APACHE JUNCTION
PAGEANT ANNOUNCED
from Cronk’s Radiator
APACHE
Care ‘n’ Repair, a
JUNCTION,
month’s supply of
Ariz. - Titles and
Purina Steamed Corn
tiaras abound
and Crimpled Oats
throughout the
from Gator’s Feed and
Grand Canyon state.
Tack, a free mobile
Glamorous female
home hitch donated
impersonators and
from the Wonder Vu
entertainers have
Trailer Court, a debeen honored as
worming from Pooch’s
Miss Gay Arizona,
Pet Palace, and a
Miss Gay Phoenix,
BetaMax VCR.
Miss Gay Scottsdale,
Miss Gay AGRA
Competing beauty
- the list goes on.
queens will include
And on. Now, for
Latra Viata, Mina
the first time, yet
McFarland, Madame
another run for the
Ivory, Blase, Muffy LaToot, Spottie, and
roses is presented. The Valley of the
more. The opening number will feature all
Sun waits with bated breath: who will be
drags performing an ensemble number
crowned “Queen of the Junkyard - Miss
where they will required to yodel and
Gay Apache Junction”? The
contest
��
execute their hog calling skills.
will be held Saturday, October 20 at
Schnepf Farms and will also feature an
��
Competition highlights will include
Oktoberfest
Beer Garden where the
Evening Gown, Swimsuit, Performance
audience can play “Quarters” with the
and Tractor Pull. In addition, there will be
gender-bender contestants.
an “Overall Winner” in which contestants
will perform in overalls.
“We’re thrilled to have another area
pageant for drag queens,” said Igotta
Tickets are $10 for reserved seating
Butz, pageant coordinator. “This will give
and available on the day of the
the girls to represent the far, far east
pageant. For more info visit www.
Valley and a chance to compete for cash
ApacheJunkyardQueen.com
and valuable prizes.” Prizes this year
from sponsors include a radiator
flushing
��
��
��
��
��
76
77
��
U.S. CONGRESS ENFORCES
BATHROOM ETIQUETTE
Queen, Fiesta Bowl
WASHINGTON D.C.
Queen and it looks
- In the wake of the
like Senator Craig
recent sex scandal
has just been elected
involving the arrest Sen.
Toilet Bowl Queen.”
Larry Craig, (R-Idaho)
Sen. Craig, age 62,
June 11 for alleged
angrily defended
lewd conduct in the
allegations of
men’s bathroom of the
homosexuality saying,
Minneapolis-St. Paul
“I am not gay. I have
International Airport,
��
never been gay,” in
the United States
a written statement
Congress has issued
scribbled on two
��
guidelines
with rules
squares of toilet
and regulations for
paper along with his
Men’s Public Restroom
phone number and
Etiquette, otherwise
the phrase, “For a
known as “Tap Three
good time call Senator
Times on the Stall Floor If You Want Me
Craig.” Which is only just kinda gay.
(Twice on the Pipe, if the Answer is No”)
��
��
for male congressmen.
��
��
Insiders claim that the Senator
frequently suffers from explosive
U.S. Congress officials who engage
diarrhea during layovers in airports
in cruising for sexual contact in men’s
when he’s traveling alone. “Craig simply
restrooms are encouraged��
to use
��
ran out of toilet tissue. He was not
proper rules of “tea room etiquette.”
propositioning or bribing the undercover
Be polite, and learn how to identify
��
officer, but was simply offering him four
law enforcement officials correctly
��
fives for a twenty,” said one attractive,
and quickly and leave the bathroom
5’11, 175 pound 19 year-old Senate
as soon as possible. Officials are also
page from Idaho with blonde highlights
encouraged to wear nice shoes like Nike
and a tan. “This is like Brokeback
or Adidas and fashionable underwear
Bathroom!” Believe it or not, Senator
such as 2xist or Ginch Gonch.
Craig actually is an actual rancher from
Homosexuals identify with popular and
Midvale, Idaho.
trendy styles and will frequently be
��
attracted to them.
Craig has resigned as Senator. No he
hasn’t. Yes he has. No he hasn’t.
One Senate official chided Sen. Craig
saying, “You’ve got your Sugar
Bowl
��
��
��
��
��
HAUNTED HOUSE SCARES
WOMAN TO DEATH
squeal and then she
SCHENECTADY, N Y - It
was gone.”
was a dark and stormy
night. But this Halloween
Mr. Fairchild did not
Haunted House at
witness the incident.
Shepherd’s Crook
“I was busy in the
Community Church
��
janitor’s closet helping
Fellowship Center was a
Tommy Pickering put
night of terror for Thelma
on his vampire makeGittings, 62, of Buffalo
��
up. It requires very
who died from a heart
special attention,”
attack in the Chamber of
he said. Pickering is
Horrors, which is usually
the quarterback and
the church’s Bingo Hall.
was the lead in last
year’s play “Hedda
“We didn’t know Thelma
Gabler” and will play
had a weak heart,” said
Curly in “Oklahoma”
Trudy Fudge, Thelma’s
later this fall. He has
sister. “We’d had dinner
been taking private voice lessons from
at Papa Tony’s Pizza Palace and Hot Dog
Fairchild since summer.
Emporium earlier that night. Later on, we
all decided to go to the Haunted House
Mrs. Gittings was responsible for starting
and all hell broke loose, if you’ll pardon
the “Potholders for Teens,” program and
the expression.”
has crocheted hundreds of potholders.
��
Her sister Trudy said, “Thelma heard
The drama students at Peter
Cooper
what a problem pot was for the today’s
High School have staged the Haunted
youth, so she felt that by using her GodHouse to raise money since 1952. Bruce
��
given talent she could help by making
Fairchild, the drama teacher, 52, and
potholders. Our Thelma was always
unmarried, said he doesn’t know what
thinking of others.”
happened. “Thelma stuck her hand in a
bowl of peeled grapes. The Wolfman told
The Haunted House has been canceled
her it was eyeballs and she laughed. But
while services are pending. Ticket
after she walked by the broom closet the
holders are encouraged to redeem them
Mummy, Tina Van Pelt, jumped out and
to see “Munster Go Home” Saturday
screamed. Thelma staggered into the
night at the school gymnasium. This
Goblin’s Den where the ping-pong table
film is not recommended for people with
usually is and they started poking her with
heart conditions or pregnant women.
plastic pitchforks, then she ��
gave a little
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
MEDICAL RESEARCH CONFIRMS
A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR HELPS
THE MEDICINE GO DOWN
��
��
��
BETHESDA, Md. - Board Certified
doctors and scientists conducting
research at the National Institute of
Health have medically determined that
a spoonful of sugar of sugar actually
does help the medicine go down in the
most delightful way. It’s been nearly
eighty years since this theory was first
proposed to the public by Mary Poppins,
an English governess from London with
no medical training. Since then millions
of dollars of taxpayers money has been
spent on experiments and testing with
research confirming this as fact.
One scientist said that the decades
long research project went smoothly.
81
“In every job that must be done there is
an element of fun. You find the fun and
- snap! - the job’s a game,” he reported.
The director of the commission reviewed
the findings and discovered the research
was accurate and confirmed, “Every task
you undertake becomes a piece of cake.
A lark! A spree! It’s very clear to me.”
The American Dental Association argues
that research findings are damaging to
oral health. Diabetics are encouraged to
see a qualified healthcare professional
for medical advice and treatment before
following this regimen.
PHOENIX NIGHTLIFE
84
1.
Amsterdam
718 N. Central Ave. - Downtown Phoenix
(602) 258-6122
2.
Apollo’s
5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix
(602) 277-9373
3.
BS West
7125 5th Ave. - Scottsdale
(480) 945-9028
4.
Bunkhouse
4428 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix
(602) 200-9154
5.
Burn Nightclub
122 E. Washington St. - Downtown Phoenix
(602) 258-1772
6.
Cash Inn
2140 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 244-9943
7.
Cell Block
998 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 266-5640
8.
Charlie’s
727 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 265-0224
9.
The Chute Men’s Club
1440 E Indian School - Phoenix
(602) 234-1654
C
Clarendon Hotel + Suites
401 W. Clarendon Ave. - Phoenix
(602) CLARENDON
10.
Club Vibe
3031 E. Indian School - Phoenix
(602) 224-9977
11.
Cruisin’ 7th
(602) 212-9888
12.
Dick’s Cabaret
3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 274-DICK
13.
e lounge
(602) 279-0388
14.
Friends
(602) 277-7729
15.
Homme
138 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 266-0875
16.
Incognito
2424 E. Thomas Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 955-9805
17.
Jaded
(602) 240-6969
18.
Karamba
(602) 254-0231
19.
Kobalt
3110 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix
(602) 264-5307
20.
Mango’s (Skandalo Nights)
NE Corner of 55th Ave. & Camelback - Glendale
(602) 544-6311
21.
Club Miami
716 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix
(602) 258-6122
22.
Nu-Towne Saloon
5002 E. Van Buren St. - Phoenix
(602) 267-9959
23.
OZ.
1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 242-5114
24.
Paco Paco
(602) 263-8424
25.
Phoenix Eagle
3114 E. Cactus Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 493-0355
26.
Plazma
1560 E. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 266-0477
27.
Pumphouse II
(602) 275-3509
28.
The Rock
(602) 248-8559
29.
Roscoe’s
(602) 285-0833
30.
Sky Lounge (Respect is Burning) 132 E.Washington - Phoenix
(602) 229-1110
31.
Taylor’s Tavern
15615 N. Cave Creek Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 867-2463
32.
Velocity (old Harley’s)
(602) 956-2885
33.
Wild Card
801 N. Arizona Ave. - Chandler
(480) 857-3088
34.
Z Girl Club
(602) 265-3233
85
Happy Hour 4-7pm
Happy Hour 4-7pm
Karaoke @ 9pm w/ Tim
$5 Martinis & Manicures
Happy Hour 4-7pm
Happy Hour 4-7pm
Divas @ 9:30 / No Cover
Karaoke w/ Ron @ 9pm
Male Strippers 10pm
$1 Dom. Draft Beer
$2.25 Dom/Well All Day
Get Funked $5 ’tinis
2-4-1 from 2pm-8pm
2-4-1 from 9pm-12am
Karaoke / $3 DnkyPunch
$2 Domestic Beer
$5 Grey Goose
2-4-1 (Hotspot)
Karaoke @ 9pm
$3 Stoli + Shot Specials
Karaoke + $3 Long Isl.
1c Mimosa/ $3 B.Marys
1/2 Price Margaritas
$1.25 well & 16oz dom.
$5 Martinis
Happy Hour ‘til close
$3 Wells/ $2 Dom.
2-4-1 Wells 8-10:30pm
$1 Mimosas
2-4-1 All Night
CLOSED
$5 L.I.s/ $3CuervoShots
$4 Wells
$2 Pitchers 2-7pm
.75 Happy Hr. 7-9pm
$2 Long Islands
1/2 off - w/only Undies
$2 Specials / 2-Steppin’
$2.50 L.Islnds @ 7pm
$2 Ptchrs/ 2-4-1 @ 7pm
$2 Domestic Pitchers
50c. Pitchers $2 Wells
$2 Coronas + Pitchers
CLOSED
CLOSED
CLOSED
2-4-1 Beer +Drag Show
Afterhrs.-Dance ‘til 4am
Afterhrs.-Dance ‘til 4am
CLOSED
Open 10pm- 2am
CLOSED
CLOSED
CLOSED
Prizes and giveaways
Prizes and giveaways
Service Industry 1/2 off
2-4-1 Dances
$5OFF w/ ION Keychain
Myspace Wednesdays
$5OFF w/ ION Keychain
2-4-1 well/dom. 8-10pm
2-4-1 well/dom. 8-10pm
CLOSED
CLOSED
CLOSED
CLOSED
$2 domestic pitchers
Karamba Dancers
No cover before 10pm
$3 Pitchers w/Diamond
CLOSED
CLOSED
$3 Pitchers w/Diamond
$3 Pitchers w/Susana
Happy Hour: 4-7 pm
Happy Hour: Noon-7pm
$1.50 D.Beer w/ Jersey
Happy Hour: 4-7-pm
Karaoke w/ Gary
2-4-1 All Drinks
Trivia Contest @ 8pm
Drag w/ Susana - 10:30
Drag w/ Fabiola - 10:30
CLOSED
CLOSED
Drag w/ Susana - 10:30
2-4-1 Thursday
@ Mango’s - $1 Tequilla Sht
Drag w/ Galilea- 10:30
18 and over @ Sky Lounge
Happy hr: $2 Dom/Well
Lunch from 111a-4p
$8 Long Island pitchers
Big Ass Drink Night
2-4-1 all day (Hotspot)
Industry Night
Happy hr $2.25 Dom/Well
Karaoke 9:30pm
Diamond Dolls 9:30pm
Beer Bust
Cheap Ass Drink Night
Karaoke 10pm
Wild Card Review 9:30
Drag Bingo 8:30pm
Latin OR Hip Hop Music
$4 Vod/RedBull 8-11pm
$2 Pitchers ‘til 10pm
Poker Night w/Prizes
1/2 Off Drinks Free Pool
Rotating Shot Specials
Drag@ 9pm Shot Spcls.
DJ Jeff @ 9pm
Jazz @6pm DJJeff @9pm
Beer/ Bingo/ Karaoke
Karaoke @ 9pm
Retro 80’s Nite
Underwear Party
Free pool/ Myspace Nite
86
87
TUCSON NIGHTLIFE
BARS, RESTAURANTS, AND NIGHTLIFE
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
Ain’t Nobody’s Biz
IBT’s
Venture-N
Rainbow Planet Coffee House
Woody’s
Howl at the Moon
Yard Dog
Colors
Hydra Leather
2900 E. Broadway
616 N. 4th Ave.
1239 N. 6th Ave.
606 N. 4th Ave.
3710 N. Oracle Rd.
915 W. Prince Rd.
2449 N. Stone
5305 E. Speedway
145 E. Congress St.
(520) 318-4838
(520) 882-3053
(520) 882-8224
(520) 620-1770
(520) 292-6702
(520) 293-7339
(520) 624-3858
(520) 323-1840
(520) 791-3711
3269 N. Mountain
2902 N. Geronimo
300 E. 6th St.
375 S. Euclid Ave.
204 S. Scott Ave.
492 N. Alvernon
(520) 292-9151
(520) 622-4626
(520) 624-1779
(520) 628-7223
(520) 670-9022
(520) 299-6647
(520) 620-6245
COMMUNITY SERVICES
A
B
D
E
F
G
H
88
Metropolitan Community Church
Cornerstone Fellowship
Wingspan
S.A.A.F.
Royal Elizabeth Bed and Breakfast
TIHAN (Tuscon Interfaith HIV/AIDS Network)
EON Gay Youth Center
89
Virgo
Don’t underestimate yourself. Girl, you
got it, now it’s time to flaunt it. Whether
it be on the dance or at work, the
rewards of working it will be enormous
once you do.
Libra
This month friction between your finances and sex life will leave you with
a major dilemma. This month avoid
splurging on that special someone and
remember that the best policy is to
split the check.
Scorpio
You enjoy making the rules and not
following them, but this month keep in
mind that it’s in your best interest to
simply smile and nod to avoid conflict
and cat fights.
Sagittarius
An old flame that just won’t burn out
will occupy your brain this month.
Although considering your feelings is
important be sure to think with both
your head and your heart.
Capricorn
Sweet talking will only get you so
far. You need to be careful not to spit
too much game because your peers
will be paying extra special attention
to you and will only be disappointed
when you don’t produce.
Aquarius
Say goodbye to those people that may
not support you in a new opportunity
that will present itself this month.
Hangin’ with haters won’t bring you
anything but aggravation and Negative
Nancy syndrome.
90
Pisces
Don’t back down. This month you will
be pushed to your limits, but hang
in there and justice will prevail. In
the process make sure to take lots
of bubble baths to keep your stress
levels low.
Aries
You are going to need to be particularly organized this month in order to
keep up with crisis. If you manage to
keep your cool and stick to the plan
you will ease the tension and react
with grace under pressure.
Taurus
Drama will explode within your inner
circle. It’s your turn to step up and be
the mediator to calm a confrontational
situation that could be potentially
threatening to those that you care
most about.
Gemini
Finding a balance between work and
play is becoming a tricky challenge in
your life. Make sure you are getting
plenty of Z’s and taking ample alone
time to keep up with your popularity
and exhausting lifestyle.
Cancer
Cheer up Charlie. Don’t carry the
burden of somebody else’s bad news
because your downbeat energy will
only kill the mood and spread your
troubled attitude to others. Smile.
Leo
Celebrate your small successes,
baby.You need to take a break to pat
yourself on the back and be proud of
the fact that you are putting your best
foot forward this month, even if it’s by
taking baby steps.
91
by Addison DeWitt
of the Niagara, BS West alumnus
and certified, trained, healthcare
professional Al Perkins laughed
a lovely, clear, silvery, sparkling
kind of laugh. The kind of a laugh a
Registered Nurse might give before
he puts a cold bedpan underneath
you’re little pink behind on a freezing
cold winter morning. Or brutally
takes your temperature with an
unlubricated thermometer while
you’re sleeping in
a hospital bed after
having hemorrhoids
removed. That kind of
a laugh. But it was so
nice to see you back
where you belong, Al.
“It’s close to midnight, and something
Evil’s lurking in the dark ...”
“’Cause this is Phyllis Diller!” I mean,
“Thriller!” Yes, little ghouls, goblins
and ghosties, it’s the most wonderful
time of the year - Halloween! It’s
time to dress up in your mommy’s
high heels and put on a good girdle,
a glittery dress and some tangerine
lipstick! Unless, of course, you do that
all the time, then this
is just another night.
Then this night’s
just like any other.
But serious sparkle
spooks will break out
the Lee Press-On
Nails, Bandolinos,
some theatre blood
and moan and groan
their way to B.S.
West for their annual
extravaganza or at
the Monster Ball at
the new mega-party
hotspot AREA. I can’t
wait to see you there,
darlings! Get ready for
the fang bang!
Madcap cabaret
legend Rudy de
la Mor held sway
at Kobalt for an
entire laff riot
weekend along
with a little music,
a little dance, a
little seltzer in
your pants. Our
own ivory tickling music meister
Kenny Thames sat ringside with
the ebullient Ron Casolo. Call 911!
Take me to the Love-mergency
room! Get me a Stoli vodka stat!
Code Blueballs! I saw the luscious,
lifesaving Dr. Robert Mancuso
sharing a night out and whispering
sweet, tender endearments to his
handsome boyfriend, Jeff. Color me
green with envy, precious pets. And
wasn’t that the lovely Rachel Walker
I saw celebrating her anniversary that
very same night with her hubby? You
look ravishing, darling!
Those fun-loving folks at B.S. West
hosted the lipsticked legend of stage,
screen and the Seven Seas, Miss
Jackie Beat alive and in person for
her “Super Sweet 21 (or older)” onewoman (sort of) show in extra-fancy
Scottsdale. Barely one alcoholsoaked soul emerged unscathed from
the acid-tongued beauty’s wicked
humor.
Miss Beat browbeat the yummy buns
o’ steel Christian Smalley and a
host of other’s into submission. Edge
Studio’s Michael Delcor cackled
in the corner while the Nightingale
The Bachelor Auction benefiting the
Grand Canyon Man’s Chorus at The
Eagle was a real barn-burner with
95
pandered to my obsession during
a special party at Dick’s Cabaret
with several of their models in
tow. I hope to apply as a
corporate liaison as a
ProfessionalGayMan.
com in the Research and
Development Department.
What a treat it was to
see this summer’s ION
cover boy Landon and his
boyfriend Bosco making
a celebrity appearance on
stage. The stable of Dick’s
dancers never disappoint
or let me down.But please,
no prudes allowed. Because
my morals are about as useful as a
screen door on a submarine.
lots of lonelyhearts competing for love
by hook or by crook. Or checkbook.
And who wouldn’t dream
of a date with personal
trainer, hardbody Sandy
Mignacca? The thought
of watching Sandy do 937
crunches in a row sounds
like a slice of heaven on
earth. Just as long as I
don’t have to do them
myself. Other bachelor’s
on the auction block
included yummy yoga
bloke Steven Flake. But
I only wish that I’d saved
enough mad money to win a date with
SWAY Events’ oh-so-kissable Gilbert
Gamboa, who is looks hotter than
Alabama asphalt in August.
No mere mortal can resist the evil of
the Thriller. Or Addison. Or maybe
they can. Pass your tricks and treats
to Addison this Halloween. Write to
him at RumorHound@aol.com
Those precious peddlers of
pornographic pulchritude,
AmateurStraightGuys.com
96
97

rageous! - ION Arizona

Transcription

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