2010 Spring Newsletter - Children`s Grief Center of El Paso

A Newsletter for Friends of the Children’s Grief Center of El Paso • SPRING 2010
Remembering Mom
Have you ever
wondered what it
would feel like if
your mom died?
Or maybe you know exactly
what it feels like. Jacqueline
and Aaron were 11 and 14
respectively when their mom,
Corina, died from cancer. She
had been diagnosed two years
earlier before succumbing
to the disease. Her husband,
Jose, became her caregiver
and worked from home upon
his wife’s first surgery. He
managed the chores, drove
the kids to school, took his
wife to her appointments and
provided her daily care as
needed. I remember the day
that I met Jackie and Aaron.
The fear on their faces broke
my heart. Although their mom
had been ill for some time,
they couldn’t believe that she
had died. There is always
that hope that the person
with the illness will suddenly
get better. Thoughts of “who
will take care of me?” “Why
was it my mom?” “What will
we do now?” These are the
first questions to arise. As
reality sets in, the realization
that mom is not returning is
overwhelming. Mom’s are the
natural nurturers and listeners
to everything that goes on
with their children and have
their finger on the pulse of
the family. Nothing happens
comfort to him. As a surviving
dad, Jose worried about his
children and whether he was a
good dad and making the right
decisions while he struggled
with his own grief and missing
his wife. He said that it helped
to hear the other parents and
what they were doing to cope
through their losses.
It has been a year and a half
since this family first came to
the Center. As I visited with
them recently, I asked Jackie
in the house without mom
knowing about it.
The challenges of adolescents
are hard enough as teens are
struggling to find their own
identities. The exposure to
outside influences makes grief
more difficult. Teens don’t
want their friends or school
mates to know about a death
as they feel different and
isolated.
As the Quezada family
attended the Children’s Grief
Center’s peer grief support
program, Jackie and Aaron
had the opportunity to share
their experiences with other
young adolescents who
understood what they were
going through. The weight of
the world didn’t feel so heavy
anymore. “I felt better when I
could talk to the other kids,”
said Jackie. Aaron agreed and
said that coming here was a
and Aaron how they were
doing. They both said “better.”
When I asked them, “what
would you like for other
children and teens to know
about your experience?”
They both agreed that the
support and love their father
has shown them has helped.
“Talking to someone is helpful
too, said Jackie” and not
giving up hope.
Non-Profit
Organization
U.S. Postage
PAID
11625 Pellicano, Ste. B
El Paso, Texas 79936
915-532-6004
www.cgcelpaso.org
If your mailing information
is incorrect or we sent you
multiple copies, please call us
at (915) 532-6004 and we’ll
correct it.
ADDRESS SERVICE REQUESTED
El Paso, TX
Permit #458
Visit to a Funeral Home
By Laura Olague, Executive Director
One of the things that we do at the
Children’s Grief Center is to take our
families and volunteers on a field
From the
trip to a funeral home. When we
Executive Director
Don’t you just love spring? Flowers blooming, more time
outside and the sense of renewed hope for many reasons. At
the Children’s Grief Center, HOPE is an important aspect of
the group experience. Many children and parents arrive with
despair and loss of any hope for the future following the death
of their loved one. The children feel like their lives have been
turned upside down and develop all kinds of fears. After a
few weeks in our program in which the children, teens and their
parents have the opportunity to begin sharing their experiences
and expressing their concerns, we begin to see HOPE bloom.
There is a glimmer of renewed interest in life and smiles on our
children’s faces. I am impressed with sacrifices that I see parents
willing to make in order to get themselves and their children to
the Children’s Grief Center on a regular basis. A mom with no
car will ask various friends or family to bring her to our group
sessions in order to get her and her child here for the help
that they need.. I love seeing the parents form friendships and
support for each other that blossom outside the Center.
I recently had the opportunity to see a young man that had
been in our program several years ago. His mother informed me
that he had just become an Eagle Scout. He is about to graduate
from high school and is number two in his class. He is headed
to college and has big dreams for his future. As I expressed
how proud I was of his accomplishments, his mother said, “the
Children’s Grief Center” played a part in his success. As I think
about the young, emotionally healthy teen that left our Center,
I am glad that we were able to be there.
Who makes all this happen? It is certainly not the government.
It is you, our continued supporters and life changers. You
help us provide the tools necessary for healthy grieving.
Bless you.
announce this trip to our parents
they have much the same reaction
that you are having as you read
this article. ”What!”
As many children have expressed
fear about their funeral experience, it is our desire to help
lessen those feelings and provide them with answers to their
questions and ultimately bring peace to their heart. As we prepare
the children and teens on what to expect, we let them know that
all the lights will be on and we will proceed to each room where
they can ask any questions they might have. We first enter the
casket room where the children are invited to look at and touch
the inside of a casket. The soft pillow is removed and passed
around with “ooo, that’s soft, it feels like my pillow at home.”
Questions get asked such as “can you bury someone with their
boots on?” I didn’t get to go to my dad’s funeral but I heard that
he was buried with his boots on.” Another child may want to
know “can you be buried in anything you want?” Of course, said
Tim Scott, our guide and funeral director.
We proceed through the building and stop in the garage where the
limousines and hearses are kept. The children are allowed to enter
a limousine and look inside a hearse. We see the once anxious
and fearful children no longer afraid. We end up in the chapel
where the children, teens, parents and volunteers are allowed
to ask any questions that have been troubling them and trust
me, they have some serious questions. Questions and comments
about their personal experiences and what they wondered about.
I remember a little girl asking the funeral director “what does
it mean to donate the person’s organs?” Her parents had gone
to great lengths to attempt to protect her from the truth and all
along she knew this information, but didn’t know what it meant.
In a gentle fashion, the funeral director explained the process
and why people make this gift to help others’ live. What do you
know? She already knew.
Before you know it, the tour has ended and we can visibly see the
anxiety, fear and unanswered questions lifted from their young
shoulders. They come back and say “That wasn’t scary.” I’m
not afraid to go to a funeral home anymore.” Our mission was
accomplished.
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Thank you to the San Antonio
Area Foundation – TRIAD
Fund for their support of
the Children’s Grief Center’s
bereavement camp, “Operation
Mend-A-Heart”
f o r
Operation
Mend-A-Heart
military children and adults
who have experienced the
death of a fallen soldier. Our
bereavement camp that was
held on October 10, 2009 was
an uplifting experience for all
who attended. We were able to
honor those fallen soldiers and
offer support and healing for
families going through the grief
process. Thanks to the many
volunteers that helped make
the project a success. We look
forward to the next “Operation
Mend-A-Heart” on October 9,
2010.
Board of Directors
Thank you to our current board of directors:
Bob Mihalyov, President
Elizabeth Robles
Abelardo Perez
Yolanda Arriola
Carla Monsisvais
Our Staff
Laura E. Olague, M.Ed., CT
Olivia Narvaez M.Ed., LPC candidate
“Save the Date”
Ana Tinoco, Administrative Assistant
for
Operation Mend-A-Heart
October 9, 2010
Thank you
to these event sponsors
for our fundraiser events:
El Paso Electric Company
Western Refining
Sun Fab Industrial
Thank you
Southwest Career College
Southwest Career College stepped in and
donated bean bags to the Children’s Grief
Center for our support group program.
Students raised money for the project. Thank
you Southwest Career College.
Southwest Career College
Del Angel Funerarias
Brown & Brown Insurance
Bank of the West
Spotlight on our Volunteers
We’d like to thank your volunteer facilitators.
We could not accomplish our mission without
each and every one of them. They work well
with our children in our support groups and
help them thrive.
A big “THANK YOU” to them.
Ginger Wearden, Olivia Narvaez (staff), and Kathryn Castillo.
Not show are Elena Saucedo, Dora Nunez, Elizabeth Robles,
Priscilla Reveles, Azalia Marquez and Floriza Chandler.
“So You Think You Can Sing”
Thnksgiving Parade
“So You Think
You Can Sing”
fundraiser dinner,
auction and karoke
contest was held
on April 8th at
the
Coronado
Country Club.
We
had
a
delicious dinner followed
by a silent and live auction.
Our karaoke contest was
won by Paula Hearon with
“Chain, Chain, Chain” and
she rocked! Thank you to all
the businesses that donated
items to our auction.
It has been some time since
that carried them through
the Thanksgiving Parade,
the parade. It provided for
yet we extend our “thank
uplifted spirits and lots of
you” to Union Pacific
fun.
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Si
Dinner, silent auction
and karaoke contest
er
ChildrenÕs Grief Cent
for including
our
kids
in
the train cars
Our Mission…
Our goal is to strengthen the lives of grieving
children and families by providing support
and life affirming skills in a safe and loving
environment. We value the conscious choice
that families make in committing to the
difficult work of grief and support them
through their efforts.
2009-2010 Donors
Anonymous
David & Aurea Galindo
Joanne Tomkinson
Abel Perez
David & Rebecca Calderon
Joe Garibay & Jamie Fisher
Alejandra Tiscareno
David Alvarez
Joel & Elizabeth Villademoros
Alfred & Frances Blumenthal
David Pierce
John & Mary Guggedahl
Ana M. Ramirez
Denise A. Russell &
Edward M. Connaghan
John Lugo
Anabel Sanchez
Andrea Keener
Angel Lujan & Ofelia Sanchez
Angelica Garcia
Angeline D. Russo &
Andrea Dorsey Kirs
Don & Patsy Combs
Douglas & VJ Smith
Dr. Charles & Teresa Cavaretta
Dr. Harry A. Cole
Dr. Max A. Peralta
Ann Schaechner
Drs. David & Norma Sime
Annette Haverly
Ed Clore
Anthony & Eva Burdett
Edgar Herrera
Anthony & Magda Turrietta
Ediberto Soto-Cora
Antonio & Jean Castillo
Elena Saucedo
Aracely Alvarez
Florence Mihalyov
Armando & Delfina Lechuga
Frances Perry
Arthur & Gloria August
Francis & Josephine Leroux
Arthur Gorman
Frank & Roberta Harrison
Arthur William Rosen
Frank James
Arturo Pacheco
Frankie & Sharon Stroud
Barbara Forester Coleman
Fred Hirsch
Barbara Franco
George & Gilda Lopez
Ben & Kathy Langford
Georgina A. Garcia
Ben Arriola & Yolie Arriola
Gilbert & Laura Olague
Beverly Thrasher
Gloria & Arthur August
Bill & Ione Grimm
H. Thomas & Valerie Prestige
Bob Adams
Harold & Beth Hahn
Bobby & Denese Watkins
Hector & Teresa Beltran
Bruce Hubbard
Hector Phillips
Bruce Katz
Heidi J Don
Candice Vaughn
Howard & Christine Swan
Carlisle Navidomskis
Ira Batt
Carlos Niera-Juarez/Ana Maria Meza
Israel & Jill Balderas
Carmen & Asuncion Molina
Israel Urrutia
Carmen Draper-Silva & Rita Curb
Ivan & Maria Velez
Celia Berton
James & Gretchen Love
Charles Ramenofsky
James & Crystal Long
Christine Torres
James Bohn
Cristina Torres
James Wilcox
Claire & Donald Romani
Janet Furney
Clyde & Pauline Scott
Jessica Turner
Col. L.S. Enzel
Jesus & Alice Gonzales
Cristina Torres
Jesus & Sara Mendoza
D. W. & D. K. Mankin
Jim & Trese Cunningham
Daniel & Irma Miles
Jim Darnell
Dario & Virginia Toffenetti
Joanne Osburn
Johnson Family
Jordi Amaya
Jose & Silvia Castillo
Jose H. Sarinana
Jose Rodriguez
Judge Tom Spieczny
Judy P. Eron
Julie Vargas
Karen Saunders Melonas
Kenneth & Christine Cramer
Kenneth & Lanier John
Kim Rivera
Laura Munoz Hallal
Lisa Estala
Lizeth Herrera
Lorena Rodriguez
Luisa Martinez
M H Hamilton
M. C. Knott
M. Saucedo-Cardenas
M.C. Knott
Margaret & Thomas Pugh
Mari Duron Hernandez
Maria Elena Garcia
Maria Lourdes Pearson
Maria Olague
Mario M. Padilla, M.D.
Marisa Olague
Marissa Hernandez
Marjorie Melby
Marta Duron Hernandez
Martha Dominguez, LCSW
Mary Ellen Portillo
Mary Louise Wease
Michael & Denise Enriquez
Michael & Laura McIntyre
Michael & Sylvia Jones
Michael Perez
Minden T. Dicksen
Moore Nordell Kroeger
Morris D. Reiter
Mr. & Mrs. Robert Weatherly
Nahid Vandshekari
Olga Estrada
Patricia Martinez
Patricia Gillis
Paul Pedroza
Angel Ramirez by Texas Assoc. of
School Business Officials
Barbara P. Curlin by Mr. &
Mrs. Hal Gambrell
Brian Phillips by Evan Driscoll &
Angelina Cordero
Businesses
AFCO
Alamo Industries
Albertson’s
Anamarc Institute
Paul Raudenbush
Cathie Romani by Don &
Claire Romani
Paul Rivas
Charles Castillo by Alice M. Castillo
Arrow Building Corporation
Pedro P. Euzarraga, Jr.
Claudia Mihalyov by Thomas &
Cheri Hagedorn
AUS Services
Phoebe Villareal
Rabbi Lawrence Bach
Ralph & Marta Rasura
Ret. LTC. Joyce Richardson
Ricardo & Randi Cabrera
Ricardo Paez
Claudia Mihalyov by Becky Powers
Claudia Mihalyov by Robert &
Patricia Phillips
Claudia Mihalyov by William &
Margaret Rosen
Harold Olson by Chistine Swan
Richard & Susan Stowe
Jason M. Yetter by Bruce &
Margie Yetter
Richard Otis, CPA
Jean Maes by Andrea Keener
Robert & Vicki Mihalyov
Robert D. Earp
Jose Castanon by Andrea Keener
Robert Gutierrez
Karina Reyes by Rocky Mountain
Mortgage Co.
Rodolfo & Sylvia Alvarez
Marshall Bassham by Terry &
Zulema Bassham
Romeo Leija
Rosa Gomez
Virginia Cramer by Kenneth &
Christine Cramer
Samantha Reho
Sara & Maria Dow
Sara Olague
Sonia Chavez Briones
Sonia M. Maldonado
Stephanie Cuellar
(Golden Girls LLC)
Steven & Debra Patrick
Susan & William Glass Lane
In Honor Of
Ana Luz Torres by Maria &
Jose Gerardo
Bank of the West
Bock & Associates
Brown & Brown Insurance Services
Cananwill
Channel 38
Charles Black Jr. Ron Straughan &
Associates
CIMA Hospice
Curves of El Paso
El Paso Electric Company
El Paso MHMR
F T James Construction, Inc.
Falc Enterprises, Inc.
Food City Supermarkets
Golden Key Fed. Credit Union
Hatt Joint Venture
Angel Dimuzio by Jose Sarinara
Helen of Troy
Lizeth Herrera by Rochester &
Monae Dasher
Hospice Foundation of America
St. Anthony by Joseph &
Maura Cauldwell
Sheryl Thomason by Irma Chavez
Rodriguez
Million Koins for Kids by Regent
Broadcasting
Susan E. Jensen & Kenneth Spence
Tania Hermosillo
Baker Glass Baker Plastics
Focus on Architecture
Ruben Torres
Russell & Rosemary Super
Arizona Prevention Research Center
Inspiring Solutions
Counseling Services
Integrity Science LLC DBA Mad
Science of EP
Intellisponse Inc.
Jack White Building Specialties
Jose & Emma Gonzales Properties L.P.
Organizations
Martin Funeral Home
American Legion Auxiliary
Office Depot
Communications Workers of America
O’Reilly Auto Parts
Ft. Bliss Officers, Civilians &
Spouses Association
Regent Broadcasting
Tom Prestidge
Tommy Lee Poe
Montwood Middle School
Rocky Mountain Mortgage Company
Nolan Richardson Jr. Charity
Samson Development Corporation
Victor & Elvira Contreras
The Millenium Optimist Club
Southwest Career College
Victoria Saucedo
VFW Post # 10124
Sun Fab Industrial Contracting
VFW Post # 401
Texas Gamma Master Betta Sigma Phi
VFW Post # 7686
Texas International Gas & Oil Co.
VFW Post # 8550
Texas Orthopedics Therapy Specialists
Vietnam Veterans of America
The Emerald Nursing School
United Methodist Women
Verlander Enterprises
Women’s Auxiliary
of Sierra Medical Center
Western Refining
Terri Tobler Caviglia
Thomas & Mary Ahmann
Tom G. Hussmann
Troy & Teresa Wyatt
Churches
St. Matthews Catholic Parish
Western Hills Methodist Church
In Memory Of
Angel Ramirez by Barbara Coleman
Results Video
Foundations
Enterprise Rental
A Little House Inc.
Evergreen Manor Bed & Breakfast
Andrew & Peggy Feinberg
(Feinberg Foundation)
Francisco Romero
Bank of America Foundation
Cesle & Mamie Dues Foundation
El Paso Community Foundation/Stern
Foundation
Fudge-N-More
Grace Therapeutic Massage
Hal Marcus
Helen of Troy
Henry Kaiser Fam. Foundation
Hilton Gardens Inn
Hervey Foundation
Hyatt Place
Hunt Family Foundation
Indian Cliffs Restaurant
ITW Foundation
Inn of the Mountain Gods
Junior Woman’s Club
Isabella’s Salon & Spa
Krupp Foundation
Karen Saunders
Moor Foundation
Laura Olague
Rio Grande Cancer Foundation
Mane Attractions
Ronald McDonal House/Charities
San Antonio
Area Foundation-TRIAD FUND
Union Pacific Foundation
Mary Vasquez
Michelino’s
Milan Salon & Day Spa
N Dulge Salon & Spa
Neil Gunn
In Kind Donations
Neva Uphoff
Abel Perez
Olive Garden
Albert Escamilla
Painted Dunes Golf
Please remember the Children’s Grief Center in your bequest
Ana Tinoco
Pellican’s
Angels Via Michael
Peter Piper Pizza
Ardovino’s Restaurant
Petland
BJ’s Restaurant Brewhouse
Planet Fitness
Bob Mihalyov
Popular Mattress Factory Direct
Bob-O’s
Price’s Creameries
Brigette Von Ahn
Rebecca Guillen
Budget Rent A Car
Caboots
Camino Real Hotel
Candy Mayer
Rocio Alvarez
Saddleblanket
Sharon Stroud
Sheryl Bergersen
Carla Monsisvais
Spira Footwear
Carmike Cinemas
Susie Jensen
Cattleman’s Restaurant
UTEP Athletics
Cinemark
VIP Beauty Lounge
Diego Amigo
Wet 'n' Wild
Dorothy Ball
Yolie Arriola
Eastwood High School Trooperettes
Eddie Narvaez
El Paso Diablos
El Paso RV Rental
Elena Saucedo
Elizabeth Robles