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Kirsten Flournoy
successful entertainer and
mom of two, Laura Cain is
the giggly, joyful female voice
of San Diego’s long-running morning radio
show, “The Jeff and Jer Showgram,”
which airs weekday mornings on Star
94.1 FM.
Originally from Los Angeles,
Cain attended SDSU before
interning for KFMB news and
the Jeff and Jer morning show
in 1990. They started using
her on the Showgram to “do
voices” because she was the
only girl in the building. She
officially joined the Showgram staff in 1993, presenting
news and traffic, and has been
a cheerful morning presence
ever since.
Cain loves her job and feels
blessed to have worked with
such a warm and close-knit
crew for so long. “We’re just
like a family. It’s amazing that
after 15 years, we’re still having
a great time, we’re still great
friends. We’ve been through
births, death, marriages, divorces, and then this, one of the big-
18
sandiegofamily.com
gest things I’ve been through publicly.”
Laura Cain’s openness and humor make
her feel like a friend, so it was a shock
when she announced her addiction to
alcohol on-air last fall. Back at home
after a four-month recovery program at
the Hazelden Rehabilitation Clinic in
Oregon and Sober Living by the Sea in
Newport Beach, Cain’s public admission
of alcoholism struck a deep chord with
listeners.
Laura Cain’s life seemed golden. How
could this doting wife, mom to Charlie,
age 7, and Evan, age 4, have a
problem with alcohol?
got through that for 28 days without
seeing my family.” She missed her kids
terribly. “It was really, really hard.”
Women Who Drink
The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse
and Alcoholism (NIAAA) reports that
“Among women who drink, 13 percent
have more than seven drinks per week.”
The U.S. Department of Agriculture
and the U.S. Department of Health and
Human Services’ Dietary Guidelines for
Americans recommend no more than
sandiegofamily.com
How Much is Too Much?
The NIAAA states “Drinking
more than seven drinks per
week increases a woman’s
chances of abusing or
becoming dependent on
alcohol.” Women who
consume more than four
drinks a day have an increased
risk of developing alcoholism.
“Most people think of
addicts and alcoholics as the
town drunk or a junkie in an
alley,” says Cain. She points
out that addiction can happen
to anyone, including those
(like her) with seemingly
“perfect” lives.
Secret Shame
“When you are in the midst of
alcoholism and drug addiction
it’s shameful, you hide it. I
got into a pattern where I was
just trying to keep up, to stay
awake, and at the same time to
stay numbed out to things. It’s
a terrible way to go about life,”
says Cain. “I knew I needed
help, but how am I supposed
to ask for help, being a public
figure and my husband not
even knowing?”
Like many alcoholics, Cain
says she was never openly
drunk. Over the course of a
couple of years and following a
string of stresses (including her
father’s death and the loss of a
house), her drinking day began
earlier and earlier. When she
found herself pouring a drink
at 10:30 a.m., she realized that
she had a problem.
“My whole family knew
something wasn’t right with
me, I just wasn’t the same as I
was years before,” says Cain. “I looked
bad. I was tired all the time. I just wasn’t
my usual bubbly, happy self.”
One particularly bad night, a
desperate Cain announced, “I just want
to kill myself.”
Her husband called 911. Cain was
on suicide watch for 72 hours, then
she went to Hazelden. After finishing
her 28-day program at Hazelden, Cain
completed a 90-day treatment program
at Sober Living by the Sea.
“When I look back I wonder how I
to dilute the alcohol in their systems,
exposing them to “more of the toxic
byproducts that result when the body
breaks down and eliminates alcohol.”
Fluctuating hormone levels, pregnancy,
menopause and social pressures can leave
women vulnerable to the depression
and anxiety that sometimes precede
excess drinking. Financial or relationship
difficulties, childhood abuse and a family
history of alcoholism can also increase
the incidence of drinking.
Mothers with
Alcoholism
one drink per day for women. According
to the Centers for Disease Control, the
standard size for an alcoholic beverage is
5 ounces of wine, 12 ounces of beer or
1.5 ounces of distilled spirits.
Two or more drinks raise the risk
of a motor vehicle crash, high blood
pressure, stroke, suicide and cancer. It
also increases a women’s risk of violence
from domestic abuse or sexual assault.
According to the NIAAA, “Women
are at greater risk than men for
developing alcohol-related problems.”
Their smaller bodies have less water
February 2008
Nearly seven million
American children ages 18
and younger live with at
least one alcoholic parent.
Alcoholism is a pervasive
disease that affects multiple
generations, ruins lives and
destroys families.
Cain says addicts lie to
themselves about their
disease. While she managed to
function each day, care for her kids and
work when drinking, she admits, “I
was going through the motions, but I
wasn’t present.”
Being sober and being fully present
today is the best gift she can give or
receive. “It’s hard on families, this
disease. I’m just so glad that I didn’t
lose everything.” She’s explained to her
kids that she can’t drink alcohol ever
again and that it’s “very bad for you.”
As they get older, she’ll face the
possibility of answering some very
San Diego Family Magazine
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her experience will make her a better
parent in their later years because she
won’t be naïve.
Like all moms, Cain often wonders
if she’s doing the right thing, but she
knows that she’s setting a good example
for her kids by making her health a
priority. She says one of the worst
things about recovery has been “dealing
with the wreckage left behind and the
breakup of my marriage,” but “you
have to learn to forgive yourself.”
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“The whole rehab thing came about
really suddenly. It got to a point
where I wanted just to kill myself. I
don’t think I ever would have done it
because of my kids, but I just hit a wall.
Nobody understood. They couldn’t
because they didn’t know. It was just
this terrible feeling,” says Cain.
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San Diego Family Magazine
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Get Help
Worried about your drinking or
concerned for someone you know?
Laura Cain advises, “Know that it’s
going to be ok and that you are not
a bad person. Most addicts feel like
they are all alone in the world. You
are not alone.”
Start by taking the quiz
Are you an Alcoholic? (www.
aasandiego.org/Questions.pdf ) then
use the resources below.
Alcoholics Anonymous
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org
Alcoholics Anonymous San Diego
www.aasandiego.org
Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters
www.al-anon.alateen.org
Dietary Guidelines
www.nutrition.gov
National Institute on Alcohol
Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA)
www.niaaa.nih.gov; 301–443–3860
Oprah
“Moms Who Drink Too Much”
www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/
200404/tows_past_20040419.jhtml
Substance Abuse Treatment Facility
Locator
www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov;
800–662–HELP (4357)
w w w.eve r y he a l t h pl a n.c om
February 2008
sandiegofamily.com
Gio/June 2007/cr
At Hazelden, Cain met lawyers,
doctors, PTA moms, Catholics,
Mormons—people from every walk of
life. She learned about the physiology
of alcoholism, its root cause in her own
life and how to manage it in the future:
“Addiction is a disease that can affect
anyone. Addicts cannot control their
intake or decide when they have had
enough. It never really goes away.”
Rehabilitation programs typically
include medical stabilization,
detoxification, abstinence and intensive
talk therapy. Strict rules create a
regimented lifestyle with little room for
backsliding into old habits.
“They strip you down to the bare
bones in order to build you back
up again,” says Cain. She repeats an
Alcoholics Anonymous adage: “Addicts
end up in one of three places: jail, an
institution or dead.” Cain says she
now understands what it means to be
a “grateful alcoholic” because she is so
glad to be alive and sober today.
C
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A Bright Future
CM
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Laura Cain takes each day as it comes.
With every new accomplishment (she
moved into her own house in December), her sense of pride grows. Although
this isn’t where she expected to be at
this point in her life, she appreciates her
struggle because her experience of life is
so much richer now.
“The reason I think I went through
this is because I have to talk about it. If
it can happen to me, it can happen to
anyone,” says Cain. “I am blessed with
this job that gives me an outlet to speak
to people.”
Morning show listeners have been
overwhelmingly supportive of Laura’s
recovery, sending letters and emailing
her good wishes during her absence.
Now, Cain looks forward to sharing
more incredible, quality moments
with her children and becoming more
involved with San Diego’s recovery
organizations as a spokesperson.
“You have to make a choice every day
to keep doing the next right thing,” she
says. “When I think of the future, all I
see is brightness.”❖
M
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Kirsten Flournoy is the editor of San
Diego Family Magazine.
sandiegofamily.com
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