tl"jJp.i* r sot-it r:.sit
Transcription
tl"jJp.i* r sot-it r:.sit
for The t'tission recently and love the music. i;:"r*Slrltavins Beethovan;s ninir'"i; k;;;-*" soins when doins r wonder how DJ and r wirl..go together tor 4g hours. rs it possible we vrilr bore five been rong r am very used to^ly *yn each oth6r. h;;- ttt go with -company- and don't knon"r"n*-"o someone else around. .Anywby,'he tru" -ana *""ting$ t"-g" t,, tomorror,.. dinnei tonifr,i ouf io*o'.o* sJ nisht f;:;ffi ir*tr"'1"iri:T An pleased rvith new sad,dle Y6ry secure but it is new and slippery with f trjed ii Ln :Cai, It makes me realise just whai a smooth . ride Sean is. CIeo had this huge side -her reaction to a bit-e. lump gut iton is slowly ssems going to be an allergic down 26.1.9s Australia Day. Had a super, time sith DJ here the past coupre of days' Had dinner and male rove-on-iii*-rr*tandah thE first night. spent the next morning in.bed. ri*-wint --i.r,in""" in to work tor a short time the second . 9"f. pjn.nq" take-aways) on the verandah lasr night. I tinisnLc ';il;" 13_page submission. Hard -morning. w.rk. He drove b,ick. up this we tarked a rot of -hg** n"his marriaoe and his ^wife. trrlii<g. lesbian. rf wourd iiipr"i" a lot. G; Arirude .qrre- might possibry be me, sex €rc. going to miss hin af.tei h;"i;; n-i* here ro rike that. we do get 'm on well. And he has the most imazingry good sek drive. rn some'sessions we had in bed..i1 couple of days he *ourd i""t come three times in a row. Not .tnt bad ?;; guy a in his fifties. The problen is, as he said, $e r,r""-Iirr"n in Anyway, r don' t want to be sad .- H" -;; much love. f reer wi th me now and can actualry say "r 10ve you,, without pronpting. Debbie is corning oui to sb,ay which shourd be fun. Doesn't rook rike r'rr nakd ittonight ii--nurru* Heads *itr, Mandy and Claude and I am not getting in-enough -riding. cleo's site is gcr_ing-dovrn End r biffieo-rrei--ioouy. when- r q;t away from *"it-i rearise-hocr much stress I.t puts -i:-only rt me under. Brian is goitq t: Ii.*g to let me know which -me tonight Melbourne uni got intd. Hope iir-*'pu"s gets what he wants. I am avoiding Jrp Mum-as usual. Goss announced tonight ttv. -.q;ir,. to re-route the f uck_ -are- going the-koala freeway thiough ndAtand* tl"jJp.i* r sot-it r:.sit i;-wh;p;1; a week back. Aren,t r 3t.1.95 werr. puss oot the course he-vanted and re-entry to uni. DJ and f ]. . .A"e, as, usual, . He is, as usual, home r,rith [i; nothina. ;i;;:':: we took a German.bgck packer - Katherine.- out night riding. she is staying nith tta'ndy ana ciiul".-ii"o a great time. . 41 & 13.2. 95 Horrorl Back to tsork tomorrow. Have dohe very libtle ou'tside of "rL-has baen good. riding,- reading and sleeping during hols. Vgry relaxing but I am dreadinq qoin-q back. whi re Katherine {German backfaJker y- was here \,re v*ent f or a coupre. of night rides. The seCond one $e got lost and had to go gtTpiglt up ridge. very iffy but horses r vras one cai cai and' Katherine on Sean h,ere magnif icent. Had some stinking hot dals and rrent swinming in sally,s pool Lovelyl Mandy and .r managed to__get in a few rides but the rain ( it wps needed) lly" has come no*. The creel is flowinE ajain foi-aU"ui the first time in a year. r sold the T"oy_ ?orier saddle..to rpswich saddrery a cfeek ago $40s cash. There was something nrong {or th; tree and r -rtwith figured it was better tc ge,t rid 6t it. was.sittingright of the horse and wou-rd have dona i l;t ;i iru*ug" to- ttre The same Saturday I went to Samford from a Trading post ad and !999ht -a nice, {eep-seated Dolan Enterprises Uladn saddle for $420 {down from also ralked th6m inio--Jirr.ing me a pair -so didIOK. of ox-bovrs t $*A ) $45b}. r.39 very hap,P{ r,rith the saddle which is very comfortable and I will use on cai, cai. sean ean have and Angel the o"n stuart which r sanded and cleaned up Gardinef last night. a great . night at tomei le's last Tueslay . lrre talked f or llud hours. got pissdd as newts and $ent to b;d-;b;;i i'-.*. DJ wag worried ryhen r didn't get hone til noon Doug slack is taking torrerl-e and r to dinner on Tuesday or 9{ednesday. Keatlng. waq -up. tg. gpen Mary's of f ice at Beenreigh on Friday. r was lnvited but didn,t go. Haven't heard from Drew and r am wondering if r pissed him off when Lorrel.le and I called him. Environment is-big on the ne$s agenda now. DJ and r have b*.*.q go.ing, fine ari'a r sond,er accept my fate vith him instead of fighting. if r am starting to He is much more affectionate nosr and ihere-is a rare phone call vrhen yre don't say "love you". He is big phone "n-r.l""lng mB on the r saw him last sunday on his way out of town and he is coming oyer this morning. . _ :25".?E!95. wsT'haal*:'1uhch..*itl Doyg,.s{'a_ck ..on Tuesday and Lorrelle and r didn't leave the Sheraton til 10 and then torrelle and I talked Drrt"rnane.-gq!,*"tp.iBrookfierd on .w"a""sJay nighr. - -.ti|-.midnig_lt. i on :-Thurs.dqr' ;nighr::: ftr'h. t, DJ*and i,;;;;;;Jlit !"rL., ? ",-Rubicon. 91_Jl_ul_d_u.L-lip.lrl,- -J was .doilg an. priffgigtrca ,better Ior I hung "rti.i ". "Uoui"-.]h;-d;; I lig[t1yr:tbrldi: hi16v..1t* after bri !g se.Lt 'wouI ?he calls kept coming and rre sort On Friday morning we fought again. up. 42 of gt5riffiiidli: made up. Friday {L7.2} I beeped DJ as he was going to ring me that night and said he shouldn,t, It wasn,t a very good idea He said he nould. I didn,t stop him. He rang before he went out to a function and then at 10. 30 vrhen he got.back. We fouqht. riat'e utst to He ?ffirpS'}.st-jwori dffi$'f,;I*tbld him I would tell his wife. fought. Hung up. Rang back. About 11.30pm-r rang his wife. r rcas polite. she said she qrasn't at her best at that time of niqht. DJ and_f l*pt ring back and forth. $h; rang hin. went off hei head-and said she wouri destr6y me and hirn. on 18.2.95 r courdn't take any more. r rang-him up there and he told me his r*ife was very angly and attdr me. i rang her to confirm. She told me f purbued-him. I rang him back. Was almost suicidal. He was coming dosn to see her. I rang Lorrelle. She rang hin. The creeks we-re up^ out here and he told Lorrdtle he would go four-wheel drive and pick up Lorrelle. lome and get g.o to work but had creeks up, thank god. f -co.ul_dn't DJ didn't pick up-Lopgerl-e. He told her he and wife were very upset and he would think about it. Lorrelle rang him back ani go! same ansver.. _.nV ni_ght time Lorrelle decided to ignore him he.rang back five times. she talked rne through th6 day. 3nq I took phone of t hook from *ork and hirn. He also tried to ling -t!"tr{v three times on saturday night but We cl-qude answered and told him he. didn, t knotr nhere r was Oimt li'dt* 1 9 t h-, Lor,ral'"jl. e : ran g,l'th im: i:.t'he, Sai d . he,+:,.a "and tto out'bu t' oodibnv,iayp4rq-4:ery g ;s!op-.$g1:r :o*i T lud r- rse . t up. btandy.,Jg,_.ggsg._.in a-nd a*ran*d-tape-{v*hitiiq;i{e'ffis-t hirn ,'a letter;fjilrtd gave ; itrt,o::hin.,lft_er;hardly read i t . ,i fi w.rote DOUG. . IT'S FINALLY OVER. r KNotl Not^, You ARE TRYTNG T0 JUSTIFy $fiAT HAPPENED. By Nohr you HAVE PROBABLY MNVINCED YOURSELF OF TITE LIES YOU TOLD SANDRA _ TH.AT I PURSUED YOIJ AND IAIOULDN .T LET YoU EbTD IT. YOU KNO|A, TI-IAT IS NOT TRUE. YOU PROBABLY EVEN HAVE MNVINCED YOIjRSELF OF TI{E GARBAGE YOU TOLD LORRELLE THAT I SHOUTD HA\IE KNO,VfN YOU I^IERE A T,TARRIED MAN AND YOU I,IADE IT CLEAR TO ME YOU T^,OIJID NEVER END YOT,R MARRIAGE. THAT IS ANOTHER LIE . YOU DID LEAD ME ON. YOU SNSTilTTLY TOLD ME I{ELL HO!.' UNHAPPY YOI.'R MARRIAGE WAS, THAT YOT,,R WIFE NEVER REALLY LOVED YOU ETC ETC. I TOLD YOU VERY ff.EARLY MANY TIMES AND PARTICULARLY AFTER OCTOBER - TITAT I WAS ONLY GOING ON WITH OUR RSLATIONSHIP ON THE EIGECTATION YOIJR MARRIAGE IT1sULD END, YoU KNEW I LoIIED YoU ANo IT hIlSUtD HA1IE BEEN IRRATIONAL FOR ME TO KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP GOING IF I DIDN'T BELIEVE YOU hIOI,JLD M}'E TO UE . 43 I i ti tl ilM NOT A MASOCFIIST. YOU BETRA:IED YCIU ME ON EVERY LEVET DOUG. ::';1i'DUT TO PIEASE yOU. {OU,KNEW;,fitirrT LgEpoRT,ffixo ,:lTlE '!ti;5f YOU IT]AI{D'"T.,DID rT . I HELPED .YOIJR CAREER\{rO'.FLEASE yOU, r wAs ALwAys HoNEii wrrii-iou-iiour nrn DANGERS I RAN BY DOING rT. YOU KNEW I RISKSD TT.TE OI,TLY REAL rNrIrE I F{,AD AND THE MEANS OF MY SURVIVAL FOR VOU. I DID NOT BELIE1E A MAN I4IIO LO1ED ME I{OULD DUMP ON ME AND NOT TAKE CARE OF Mg IF I DID GET TTE You RTSKED NorHrNG. you HA\f;E yot R l,roNev, yot R cAREER AND EvEN 'AQ(. YOL'R FARCE OF A MARRIAGE AND f3$r^ll"rmR BULLsHrr. SANDRA r,foN,r rEA\{E you BECAUSE sHn DoEs Nor YOU 1,r,ANT TCI HA\E SEX WITH A I.IAN yOU LOI{E. YOU TELL HIM CONSTANTLY THAT YO1J I,O\IE HIM. YOU IOW,T GO OUr tO PLAY NETBALL W}TIIE YOU DECIDE IF YOU LO1E HIM. YOU DON'T LOIIIE HER. you t^l0utDN'T HA\rE aEEN WITH ME IF YOU LOVED I.TER. YOU CAN,T LOVE TIdT} PEOPLE AT ONG. YOU CAN USE T[.TO PEOFLE AT ONCE BUT IT IS NOT REAL LOVE. BUT TT.TE PAIR OF YOU WILI STAY TOGETFIER AND I(EEP t'P THE PRETENCE. TO }IER, YOU ARE MONEY, STATUS ATiTD YOU BAIL I{ER OUT WHEN SI{E GETS IN ?HE SHIT. TO VOU, STAYING WITH SA!{DRA TS RESPECTABILIIIf. NOrr LOSING MONEY AND YOI.JR MOTHER T^'ON'T GET },IAD EiCAiJSE YOU ARE RENPTNC UP APPEARA}ICES AND BEING A GOOD RESPECTABiE r.rffr.g BOY. Ncrv{ I{ATE You BLtr THAT wrLL co AND- rF wrLL END UP THINKING OF YOU AS SAD AND PI"Irut. eer THRoucH THrs ANS ?HE HONEST TRUTH IS, I DON'T I<}.IOI4 IF I WILL I*AKE IT BL,T THAT'S NOT SO BAD. IF I DON'T GET SACKED I AM FINISHED IN POLITICS BUT I DON'T CARE ANY r r r MORE. I?'S A FILTHY, EVIL ABE?TING THE GAME GAME AND BY WRITING ABOUT IT I AM AIDING AND ar-though he said a number of times |? in tront of all or I?pl,rying us that he roved me. slowly^ ttre liutn began to come out and wi.fe was stunned how much he hid f lLA.-she tried ooing m€ a"couple of times-uut didn,t stand chance. when she -had -enough said stre -*;; reavin! -uuta he stayed "ri"she talkins to me and Mlndv. ii' minutes and asked for keys. "itlii ""i-f;;#;1 He gave them'to her arrd stayed talkino He booked a flighr home ;J i";;reed in fronr or Mandy arr threa wourd have a triar ",'1_l: separation foi a month. r drove him hone. r ,*arned hi* -was-liupio, now rose the both of us. -rnirriage He was rationar and tord me rreh;';;;ld tte would have died natural.ly anyeay. r saiJ he-was ripe to fart in love and if it hadn't bden nie it-would-ti""-u"en someone else. He agreed. He said he courd il; i;il f,is wita rre lived her bur he did not hate her. As ws were driving she put a lnessage on his beeper to say his I 44 clothes and car were at the oftice. He panicked.then. Very sorry for himself. - He went and tried tb talli to t,ei dui she had takerr of f the wedding ring, He rang me (r was at Lorrelle,*! wlgn he got home to say he was aI1 .right and f was very lovirrg io hin Gordo was at Lorrelle,s and I iold him. r then didn't make contact Monday night because r was aafraid h: yl*, going. to buggertilthethe hearings.' r otfered to brief-him on-neutral territ6ry at Lorrelle,s. -t[*-conversbtion He agreed'^r- t'Sp* my half of and rnade it very -chasing clear r t*as not or pressuring t im. riJ agreeo. He was wearing aftershlve dnd had -a-shower whei: picked hin up -l other to go to torrelle's. we touched and called each sweetie stc. we left Lorrelle's and he started saying he. was going to try to 5?"p ta]-king to his r*ife and *ouia stay-at trei-prace if she let him, r told him he had broksn our agreenent $o it was off. r tried to be supportive but it was traia.-i+* parked at west End and at Stones Corner. There was much tears .tld fighting and he eventuarly came home with me and left in a cab about Aail. r was sitting in tears on the floor. He had asked courd he come out and '*alk and talk kitchen on sunoav -ino ;; agreed 1,,e vould stay in contact until he *orked out what tre was goiig to do. r-. spoke to hin wednesday end he startrJ-""ving-ii he went back tcr r'ourdn't sLe me sundJy and wb wiuldn,t [eep-*"*i.ng :l:r"j*f;"j. r ended in tears. But.a11 the vray- ttrrogo.h r kept trying to talk Lo hirn about Drew and his peoite. rf -rre rcep-f going being rude to me etc he was qoinq to own blow e*ieryone out of t,he r,rater. I told him r courdn't hgip.hin with the report. r- somehow got to work. r didn ' t t'alk to - him. any more aio ut nlgtt"-r,* sr+i tchecl hi-s bedroom phone to switch. Thursday He rang Lorrerre at 6 am. He knew she had a but didn,t s€em concerned about how she felt. shq r3n_g. *"'uno 1;";;"hi;. we talked on the phone a lot and r asked him ii--i* would talk to Lorrelle. prowlar I. was desperate to get hirn calmed down and speak to me in a civilised way. In the end, Lorrelle rang him back and he said he r+ould go and see her. He asked her if she had anything for breakfast. He told her how great our rLlationstrip -*i*. he thought his marriag€. lras- over trut tre vranted lreatrring space fron rne. He told her he toved me. He told trei lie--ip"ii-Sso-;; phone catl tcr me. He told h?r f .beeped him. She -said if he dicln,t want tcr answer the beeps he shouldn't. she also told him hs courd change the number. He-gave her excuses he- coulon,t. He t<lld Lorrerle r wourdn't Let ',hy iin of the car on Tuesday night. Burlshit. Lorrerre pointed out "ut r," traffic light. "LurJ";"""iot out at a 45 There $as no indication he and I were over. him afterwards and he kepr.g*itjng up m€ I tqlg my block r had t* know wh-ere'-i stood. r told him if he 1.qid meet didn't me at Zpm I would tell his Loss. picked him up and-we drove to the river .r He Lold me he had tclld Lorrelle it was overbank at. st Lucia. He implied she -agrsed with hirn and told tr:.m to change his beeper number t.o get rid of rne. I w€s 'fg-4 ,up,,f!ldirold n"o'"heerd 'i"*ffJj:.$,rHf63$$fi r rd' q ;;i I; ltyYtasnit fair. li;.e6s ? L--a:-&i!.r h ad,''.':r o :L. h im; tcn-d;i'iiE:rtl r f"l'frff$;,-{,, : it ",#'#3"i s i*i n g,., **, d sendinq me mad'. j*=^..^ He Enen ne then ortered otfered ne me money. monev- Slnnn n.t, incr- ;;* a* ff irst,-_,, I theii,*.$5000. ? I said rnight be an old vrhore -but$1000 a. .high-"i""" one and the uork I had done alone rvas worth minimum S10.ioo r was howling my eyes out. r asked him t.o drive me home I couldn't. He reructantly.did. By then r was devastated. He rang a cab as SOctrr aS we gOt home. r couldn't believe he would reave me in such a mess but he kept talking about_goilg back to work It :l: stage r pulled the phone out of the wall and he threatened rt mes,F99eP",Pl9 to hit :.m 1xe me. berly'up. Terrif ied, been hit too many times before. .r.. y?nt. while he was here Jinn saorreyr,ve and-ilii*v-o,Donnell'rang. The ansrvering nachine was oft;;d i-i"io hinr not to answer. He ansrrered. Told them it was a-wrong number. Then ,when Jimmy he totd Jinmy was atr rhen il?ff'back "iir,t. He r,ang her and f irst said r was arl right and then said r wasn' t He left. r nent straight for the grog becauee r knew it would slow me down. r somehow rang back Lorrelle and told her threatened to hit ne and offered ma money. The same with Colt**n r tried to ring him once and he stammea'do*n qrrs Yt svwrr the phone without t'alking to mg rn desperation., .r. rang .Qteve J in tears. r told him basicarly the truth but tord him r- didn,t to-hurt D-T and to keep it to himself' steve was stunned butwant good-inJ-said we would talk in the morning. Tlr. 9av r rang steve. r totd hiru r would. be happy to Leave i t wilp5t. th him. r rang DJ and he r*as incredibry rude and kept saying to reave him alone as he had work to do. All r wanted *as a sign he hqd some concern for me and others. r didn't want to go to Steve's boss, gui-i rang three or four tirnes and.he was the same every tirne r i;;;"ii""nl"iri . liffi 'flq good faith'. "i?*flt*"t? t *I_el$Said*-re'*d,do i t . abouilrhe af fair .I bur l, J. r was WaS T:^l:dn^-T1*-1.1-11rd--1" _l?dn'rside .ralked under pressure from the other ina st"ne and co hadLttI taken me 46 ;-" &i for granted. They should take me for lunch. f coul.dn't believe it.. I told him I nould now tell Steve,s bo'ss. He still vrouldn't listen so I rang back Steve and he offered to contront OJ. He did in a round-about way and Steve told me he danced around it but admitted the affair That was something I rang back DJ and he had started to calm down. f rang hin on Friday morning because f was worried about fiis appearance and r didn't want hin to bugger it up for everyone's sake He read me what he'd vrritten and -it was shit. He said he would send Brian S500 he needs instead of a student loan as some payment for the work I did I corrected what I could down the phone and asked him to let me knor* how it had gone. He rang and said he wasn't on. I said I woutd stitf help him whan *cut;:?113il.*.*r;l';"':iikf;i* una told hirn others were tryins to hin out. He was reall.y rude. r ended up in tears. But- he said he wourd ring Monday. Ha vta€ coning down to see his ryife and talk about getting back together and nould drive home on sunday and then to -the pr-operty after that. r spoke Jim soorley on a story and he said ret him drown. r was still -tohooked into the game. Cut contact for at least a couple of weeks He ?ras no good to me if he couldn't stand on his own two feet. f put a message on his beeper. "Everythllg-is f ine. I'Il contact you rr'hen L'v6 got myself sorted out . Don't torget Brian , 'Don' t bother ringing t'tonday. pat . ,, I've held out since then. 9l Saturday l tiad-to chaie Bitl Ludrvig and that took my mind off it. r'was exhausted. r had beei averaging 3 hours sleep and night and drinking. But somehow r got through. on. saturday-nigtlq Di soon was at dinner at t'tandy,s. she said ec John Jerrard said the Matthews report $as fair ind balanced lTl and Lorrelle was iffy I put her straight. I drank and went to bed Somehow I go_t throug-h Sunday with torelle'g help. I spoke to Pam Bornhorst. Phitlip Chubb. the dan who sacked har was ftrrced to resign.. shg rang i* q 10 and we talked to midnight. From vrhat 26,2.95. she said they have been doing a vicious job on Loreile. herl. r rang- his number twice but hung up r dialling.. r. so bally wanted to know if he rsis af before i-iigfit. was the rnarriage lack together? Telr him to pul.l his head i_n iittr hi: job or everything everyone had worked fbr would go dovrn the tube. r was worried about Brian's money so r put a message on his beeper. "Please don't forget Brian. rt'g inportant. please leave a T?ogv- has -been finished 47 i;', &_ * message on my rnachi.ne when you,ve done About 15 minutes later he ranq in. it. pat', "I didn't forget Brian. I posled it at'10 o,clock.,' He hung up quickly. He sounded dreadful. I_thought for a while and then_put another message on his beeper. "Thanks very much - Take care. pit. ', Lorelle has to.tace her union with Richard carew today. It,s. about six now and ilm waiting to hear hovr she went. unfortunately it's rvor,s night and r won,t be able to ialk to her long. I think I'll have a few drinks again. rt is breaking my heart. r do love DJ and the love is real..His marriage- cannot sork. They cal-,patch it up but it was very unhappy. before me and now it vrilt be much uirhappier. She won,t trust him and wilt n€ver relax rr'hile r am around. f know it will be natural for hi.m to cling to what he knows and try to patch it up He-problbly.hatei ne rigrht.now. but deep down he knows he rearly loves ne and *ill miss mb like hell His career, ny-friends and the good sex goes vrith me, r do want hira back. r am so sclred he vion't co&e and even if he does it will take a long time is having dramas r+ith Mary and night lose her job. !:t She is very down. god . bless her,, is . still raothering me aLthough r think Y3nay, Claude 1s shitty. I t+ould have g-ot no nhere without them and particularily Lorelle who i$- a gi ft fron the cat god. we talk and she says if wq have to leave this state we will take her money and. buy a pub in Tasnania where J can r+rite and we can have our animals. He have also talked of going freelance. She has done a bit of photography. r J to Asia to ?7 ,2.95 nightvirr. rold him 9:!,p1".:99;fn_d.."poke"Jb*egg.g*{asr ancl he would eome baek.Iookinq:"for me. -r1.,;..' Drew said ,he hoped not, r::"::, 1,1-,, ' iliff*":#ill;:; r loved .. DJ. , i; Dren.,,said*heneq ilEi l3;, ;iil;,J:"Ta:i"ii gthat",r ?ff -lazy,"--l_ei.d-iHclt character.:",,ffi 3iy. :5e hin l6ved'in him iffi'"1;1f"*l#T;:#3 yieright. Itr Mayle' he * L',,i 51""*tr'.rne**':ld nk. 1'.:J;; I also arso rang" Neil. -l Neil o'Keefe o,KeAfe-Tas last:-iiight. we talked a couple of hours. lan-g r didn't muck around but-basicalry told for him r needed a screw. He was to ring this morning to let me knory vi,hen he could get up but hasn't rung yet. Lorelle did OK at police union and.she might yet get funding. She and f are going to Margate this arvo to pick up some ttrings for her. r am having lunch with Bolbidge. The urge to ring DJ is still yery strong. and r got as far as diatling up to tle last digtt before hanging up. i 48 4.3.9s Another neek from hetl on oired stieers. Did arr of the above. DJ is still being a prick. r rang him over-nori<. Maybe it was an excuse but:r really did have to talk to him His voice sounded so deriqhted when he heard it was ms. He is back with wife. .Not unexpected. l i,"""_p-r"iio"'prs on ,toxic dumpinglivesagainandtheNais_;;'toranEPA. corumn wriiten - nv rai"L---' th* synaecorosisr ;rj;;!r. ";Tj;l-""* ex-RAAF vranker who is mamied ro a Dr ,ps11ch :.,frorn f|$l"f.tm€ . brilliant T,t. my whiFp.ers are l3ofiX,,^un;|., nd Dous stack and the , jj-" _*"?:: l?lg: py\e qnd Ha{rsard and Gordon, Hu".i, seniie s-ereci ;dtheir *t&1i?oXilill J and the Madan Lash w€re "o**itiee arrrays-piovi"g of vr e,srr -'L6agu$.::,. don't wish him any harm. "ut t, he keeps carling for a show down.....Rg"rly tormenting me. c.qlling_ U.s.rrllly_ for an hour !".pq vras hell on Friday. r spo-ke t"-bio. so at a time. iguin. DJ kept --, nglrjg up when I needed .hirn for +rork. "bout.bim -fi*L-. le ib havins a ?ore cop hater car.red Ausrin -: ,-,,"rrii,,; 6i-" ent her ,a l6tter., There "tr iiai";;i;;;lro*ron". i, pro*ri;g';;ouno t*",home. ",,''" 8. 3.95 The situation with DJ is frightening me.no*. n i* t.rr.ing to me about:an hour ..d.y- one. minrite he.iay" t"-.,*"nE out'ot poritics, uTd. lhgn .yesterday morning tyrrln te--f,I0"il""fi'i""u1"" and ve]Iinc, at him) he talks -about tfre I t"ic"i"t ip'. He srarred tJiii,ig="ti;3 and r said it vra$ not true unJ-i-h;;-i; in rhe diary. just put whar r wanred in thl-- diarii-r .'p""t"rJ tlT# He said r ro say. h'q_were tarkins in tnJ ?l mosrlyl and -the,nilt-s-Jt"i'# "l.rr.ing he fy,esdaq was playing sexual glmes on p1 phohe ild about of f . There was t-ar.x we arways fove each other no matter what. ""uro He rang Lorelre when he got off the phone to sae if she ndeded jerking any help with the electiori. Then morninq yesterday he vrent- me ag-ain. He r{as on the phone for about an horjr ?gain. it *u" aetiniteiy-'oo"" and he,,cared for his f e very deeply,, -wi hie was at his old mixed messages again. This is the same man telling me tr*o and a bit rhe sunday) that his r".1.: -ufr-ion marriage h'as over and he shourd halrl i;r ii-ai"l-?t ir hadn,r been me it wourd have been someone erse. That he cour.d not tert hie wife he roved her. but tre oio noi-[.Jt* her. f couldn,t take it. . r started reading LorerLe's report and the situation with paralGl mine so much it was trigrttening and very :3i:;ffi?tt An ambitious and ryould-be powerf uI man and f am a palrn in, the game. I think if r really':ca.used:m€ trouble he: and his wife would 49 lffiif He to themselves it was is arr right ro desrroy rne t i f rhey supposedry coming to _ses me Monday t? give me ba.ck my print give me sone pavment for air-'tiil*rorr< 1 stuf f * r il$. "r.i'tt*n But t::l night he didn't ring *rhen he ys-y said he would and he hasn,t 'te 'L'L.rLl lpng -this rnorning. The funny thing is r had already decided r wouldn,t pick up the and alr thoush r am r donr;-;;nl iil; to taik to [l*:. "ti-ii I think the healing process has started, tr,""Irt- :fr:r"*ii fri*i"ff: Ha contradicts Tnffi r," iiu* u rittre unhinsed and r the next.-rake himserf one sentence to Lorelte f inds oul todayfrom *hether wirr her case to the supreme court to s€e ifG;-lj;borman the porice can be torced to specify the disciprinary uf,"iit"t herr v*y stressful time. She is very f ired ,io*. --"rritges 8.3.95 pn Lorelle,s case is goinq to Supreme Court. to try to get specifics of charges. If noi, -sl,*is out of time as_ the discipfini"" cnarges are on_Monday. She worked ftar our yesrerday. n;;-;[;";;[ lest for a whila. ffi*s lr?U game-mirng w But the funny ihing'is r'im- nol tearing apart wanting him to ring wanting to ring him. Te .o.r. r think the heatin{ is starting- r suppose r wirr ring Lrim eventually or beep him to find ouE'ablut t.'t9ndgy. I do want- it back and to give-ili*riglting rny"irint back on nr_*. At the end of the nonth there is i Nats conference in Mackay. Could be interesting. on broken pronnises. Hoperurry a ,,i*tll:t i"if;,i3'll3 r stirl mies DJ but it"tT;r;::n is hard to have respect for a. nan who is so r+eak and dumped a woman he ro""J-u!eau$B he feared the worlcl knew disapprdving ,l: Hrs mamiage is shit. I would never,really trust him again. the pain eases sc,on. Ir l"p" don't even !*gr that much anger. He is just a weak man who i'q a victim of his r*ite ano rnoiher. -cannot handle pressure. 3.4.95 DJ did make contact i;i after about a week. It is hard to believe that three *;;G has gone. A lot has happened. sacked Lbrrelle last Tuesday. Th"y rt broke me' r r*ent round Gordo did and Drew was there. Got stuck into ttre piss. rthere-ind *rrur.irg-*or"- tr,?" -r.# when r got p -1"r_ 1335";",i" :T::"i":??" s * . Rans r',r"iov cryins ,,ir,ly snou iai; i we put up a good defence but they turned brack into r+hite. They . 50 I