147 - Valley Planet

Transcription

147 - Valley Planet

VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
#102011110911
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(256) 533 • 4613
ROCKTOBER 20 - NOVEMBER 9, 2011
IN THIS ISSUE:
Halloween Guide,
Costumed Salsa Party,
Ghosts of Fort Morgan,
G-Side and Slow Motion Soundz,
Auntie Jen’s Animal Crazy,
Krispy Kreme Challenge,
News of the Weird,
The Greatest Music & Events
Calendars on Earth!!
Mic Nice hosted by
Simply Tam brings you
The “Independent Thought Artists” Series
with some of the most notable names in
Spoken Word/Poetry and the Arts
Thursdays at 6p CST/7 EST
www.blogtalkradio.com/micnice
Listen by phone too: 323.410.0014.
See you on the radio!
www.simplytam.com
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2806 S. Memorial Pkwy (next to Drake Wal-Mart)
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Adventures in the
Tennessee Valley (and a
little beyond)
BUY, SELL
& ORDER
BLU-RAY,
DVD, CD,
VIDEO GAMES,
AUDIO BOOKS
By Tina Leach
Operation: Feed the Fish
O
n Thursday, October 6, roughly 200 people fed the fish at Big Spring Park. Granted, it wasn’t
just a fish feeding. Those tend to be a bit dull, and 200 people wouldn’t show up without the
promise of free booze. But what people really came for was…well, a lot of things. Occupy
Huntsville is the local version of the Occupy Wall Street movement. People gathering, discussing,
thinking, complaining, and understanding.
Like all revolutions nowadays, it was organized on Facebook. The point of it all was listed under the
aptly titled note “The Point.” The highlights of which are:
•
•
•
“Give people the chance to express themselves safely. Allow people the opportunity to show
support/solidarity for the occupy movement in other cities without fear.” Also, a call for
avoiding civil disobedience so that the movement can continue, grow, and find its direction.
“Provide a peaceful and lawful model for other groups/cities that don’t want to risk arrest.”
“Meet like minded people, realize your own strength, and problem solve.”
So the long and short of it was that they had meetings to decide what the meetings should be about.
People discussed the problems they have had, what they had seen, their opinions, what they’d like to
see happen, etc.
It was well organized. They had a mailing list. And they even had crackers for fish feeding.
After a significant number of folks had gathered, they broke into little groups so that people could share
their stories and really discuss things. The word “corruption” was brought up a lot.
Facebook.com/OccupyHuntsville is their page if you want to like it for updates or give your own input.
The next meeting is scheduled for October 15. I don’t know what it will be called, but Operation: Feed
the Ducks does have a nice ring to it. Then again, so does Operation: It’s Cold Outside, How About
Pizza and Wine?”
Oct 30, Balthrop plays Two Shows
at the Flying Monkey Arts Center.
In 2006, Alabama-born songwriter-siblings Pascal and Lauren Balthrop moved
to Brooklyn to start a band and ended up
founding a town. Balthrop, Alabama, with
a population of 11 or so, is their bustling
folk rock township.
G-Side and Slow
Motion Soundz
by Justin Markland
t’s been a little over a year since I first saw
G-Side live at Vertical House Records. In one
year G-Side has released their latest album, The
One…Cohesive, been interviewed on the MTV2
show, Sucker Free, and performed at the Pitchfork
Music Festival in Chicago, Illinois as part of a tour
that included New York, Philadelphia, Asheville,
and Greensboro, and they are now ready to release
Island, their latest LP, on 11/11/2011. In shorter
terms, they’ve been busy.
I
G-Side is part of the locally-owned Slow Motion
Soundz (SMS), an “entertainment research and
development company” opened in 1999. SMS
originally had a large number of artists that were
part of the SMS brand but eventually turned their
focus on what has become the backbone of SMS- G-Side and Block Beattaz. Block Beattaz has
become a highly sought after production group
and has produced for artists including Mike Posner
and Freddie Gibbs. Block Beattaz has produced
each of G-Sides albums and together they have
perpetuated the SMS brand to a globally respected
status.
Huntsville’s
Haunting
Halloween
Activities: A Guide
to Halloween Fun
by Jessica Penot
Family Fright Night: The Spirits of the Historic Lowry
House
On October 21 and 22 the Historic Lowry House will
be offering several tours of this historic location. The
tour will include ghost stories about the house and a
haunted history tour. There will even be a mini-play of
an 1800s funeral. Refreshments will be available in the
garden after the tour. For more information or to book
reservations for a tour go to www.thelowryhouse.com or
call (256) 489-9200.
The Haunted Gin
The Haunted Gin is a new attraction in Meridianville just
North of Huntsville. This year it will offer thrills and
chills inside a corn maze. This will not be your average
corn trail. Every turn in this maze will offer a new scare.
The maze is located at 600 Meridianville Bottom Road
and will opened its doors to victims beginning September
30 and will be open on weekends through Halloween.
Spooktacular Science Halloween Party
SciQuest turns Halloween into educational fun at its
two day Halloween extravaganza on October 28 and
29. This Halloween party introduces children of all ages
to the fun side of science. With exploding pumpkins,
spooky games, costume contests, hands-on activities,
and a special area designed for preschoolers.
Mad Scientist’s Ball
This fun fundraiser for SciQuest will feature live music
and a silent auction. Bring your lab coat and prepare
to go mad on October 21 at 5:30. Contact SciQuest for
more information at (256) 837-0606.
Tate Farms
Tate farms is the perfect family friendly activity for
Halloween lovers looking for that perfect pumpkin.
Spend a beautiful day out picking pumpkins off the
vine, petting animals, and exploring the hay maze in this
Meridianville pumpkin farm. For more information call
(256) 828-8288
Musically, the band travels the line between
antebellum and antifolk, singing songs of
love, dead people, and dead people in love.
In 2007, they released their double-album
debut, “Your Big Plans and Our Little
Town,” on End Up Records, their friendly
neighborhood record label.
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Slow Motion Soundz is very proud to call
Huntsville home and it has started to bring
attention to Alabama’s music scene. G-Side
was mentioned in The Oxford American, a
literary magazine, which focused on Alabama
in its twelfth-annual Southern Music Issue. The
magazine also came with a CD that included
tracks from G-Side along with older Alabama
talent, including country singer Rose Maddox and
funk act Black Haze Express. Erin Williams of
The Washington Post Pop Music Blog thinks that
“The Heart of Dixie is having a real moment” in
music with young artists like Yelawolf, a rapper
from Gadsden, and Ashton Shepherd, a country
singer from Coffeeville. Metal Lungies in a
review of their latest album said “Cohesive is
2011’s first great release, but some day, it might
be the point of entry to some future legacy of the
Huntsville/Slow Motion Soundz brand. SMS and
G-Side have been patiently waiting for this kind
of recognition but as G-Side says, ‘Slow motion,
better than no motion.’”
The new album is receiving a lot of hype and is
an anticipated follow-up in a fast-paced year for
G-Side. I’m guessing they will be on a pretty
heavy touring schedule after its release so check
out the music calendar for any local dates.
Arx Mortis
Arx Mortis is a fifty thousand-square-foot
haunted attraction located at the old Graystone
Manor site in Killin, Alabama. This classic North
Alabama haunted attraction has been completely
revamped to make it more terrifying than ever. Aux
Mortis opened its doors to the brave on October 1, 2011
at 7 p.m. and will be open through Halloween.
The Ghost Walk
If you are looking for real ghosts and the real haunted
history of Huntsville, this is the place to be. The
Huntsville Ghost walk starts at Harrison Brothers
Hardware in downtown Huntsville on Saturday evenings
at 6 p.m. sharp. There are three different tours of
haunted Huntsville to choose from and all of them will
offer a haunting glimpse into Huntsville’s shadowy past.
The 5th Annual Huntsville Zombie Walk
Dress up as your favorite zombie, grab some food to
donate to the Huntsville Humane Society, and meet at
the downtown parking garage on Clinton Avenue on
October 30 at 2 p.m. to wander the streets of Huntsville
with other zombies searching for brains.
A Haunted Evening with Author Jessica Penot
Come join the author of Haunted North Alabama and
Haunted Chattanooga at 6:30 p.m. on October 20 at
the Main Branch of the Huntsville Public Library for
an evening of ghost stories and local folklore. A book
signing will follow. Contact Luisa at lmorinella@
hmcpl.org for more information.
Disturbia Haunted Attraction
“There are worse things than death” and Disturbia says
you will see them at their haunted attraction. Located
on North Memorial Pkwy by WAFF 48, Disturbia will
bring you a screaming good time. Disturbia opened its
doors on September 23 and will be open every weekend
until Halloween.
Darkwood Farms
Darkwood Farms is hidden away on a farm in Arab,
Alabama. On your journey through this haunted farm
you will walk your way through an abandoned 300-foot
farm house and acres of secluded trails where your fears
come to life. Darkwood Farms is located just south
of Huntsville on Hwy 231. Take the Pkwy South and
follow the signs once you get to Arab.
Scarecrow Walk Botanical Gardens
The annual Scarecrow Trail at Huntsville Botanical
Garden includes over 100 brilliant scarecrows. Come
join the fun and see the creative side of Huntsville at
this family friendly autumn activity.
Kilborn Alley Blues Band is
coming to Humphrey’s on
Friday, October 21
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
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Planet
ROCKTOBER 20 - NOVEMBER 9, 2011
NEXT ISSUE NOVEMBER 10, 2011
203 Grove Ave , Huntsville Al, 35801, phone 256 533-4613
Publisher
Jill Wood
Calendar
Joanie Williams
Lay-Out
Douglas A. Lange
Contributors
Bonnie Roberts
Elaine Nelson
Tim Benton
Jackie Anderson
Ricky Thomason
Aaron Hurd
Allison Gregg
Auntie Jen
Jim Zielinski
Lane Cobl
Jessica Penot
Justin Markland
Shawn Bailey
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VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
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G-Side and Slow Motion Soundz, Justin Markland
A Guide to Halloween Fun, Jessica Penot
Adventures in the Tennessee Valley, Tina Leach
More Halloween Events
A Costume Salsa Party
3rd Annual Krispy Kreme Challenge Nov. 19
Unchained Maladies, Ricky Thomason
The Ghosts of Fort Morgan Jessica Penot
The Jazz Lounge, Jackie Anderson
True BS, Tim Benton
Dracula: Lord of the Vampires and The Head That Wouldn’t Stay Dead
The Single Guy: Communi-Date, Aaron Hurd
Party of One, Allison Greg
Dr. Anarcho’s Rx For Old Stuff That Don’t Suck
Music Calendar Begins
Music Calendar Continues
More Music Calendar
More Music Calendar
Jonathan Laird “Pops” Into The South To Promote His First Musical Release
Calendar of Events Begins
Calendar of Events Continues
More Events Calendar
Unemployed in Huntsville, Shawn Bailey
More Calendar of Events
ReLit: Smokin’ Good Reads Worth a ReKindle, Rick Thomason
What Then Must We Do?, Bonnie Roberts
News of the Weird
Free Will Astrology
Auntie Jen’s Animal Crazy
Zee’s Rocket City bEAT, Jim Zielienski
Valley Planet Classifieds
To Yuno From Yunohoo
Music Exchange
Next Issue: Best of the
Valley Voting Begins!
Letter from the
Publisher
H
alloween is my favorite holiday of the year!
Does that say something? Anyway…this
issue is about all the fun things going on in
the Valley so make sure to read it cover to cover.
We need some help from all of you loyal Valley
Planet readers. Here is the problem: Another
publication is putting their “paper” in our Valley
Planet stands on top of our paper. So, some of our
VP’s are getting overlooked.
Here is the solution (and where we need your help
Dear Readers): Take the other publications off
of the Valley Planet stands, every time you see
them there. No need to make paper airplanes or
confetti out of them…just remove them and then
leave me a message by phone or email so that I can
personally thank you!
Also, take a minute to thank the wonderful
establishments that carry our paper – without them
you would never find us!
You have your mission: May the force be with
you.
Heads up! The next issue begins the 2011 Best of
the Valley Reader’s poll voting!
Thank you for reading the Valley Planet.
Jill E. Wood, Incognito Delivery Girl
On the Cover:
“When you’re young, you look at television and think, There’s a conspiracy.
The networks have conspired to dumb us down. But when you get a little older, you
realize that’s not true. The networks are in business to give people exactly what they
want. That’s a far more depressing thought. Conspiracy is optimistic!
You can shoot the b*stards! We can have a revolution!
But the networks are really in business to give people what they want. It’s the truth. ”
~ Steve Jobs (1955-2011)
Zombie
by George Bouton
I
am a local self taught artist who dabbles in different styles and
mediums. My work was most recently shown at the Huntsville Art
League gallery, and is also available to be seen on Artbreak.com.
Contact information: george.bouton@gmail.com
More Halloween Events
October 20-23 and 27-30: Renaissance Theatre
presents Dracula, Lord of the Vampires.
October 21-23 & 27-31: The Huntsville Haunted Corn
Maze will be open in Brownsboro.
October 22: The 4th Annual Halloween Costume Salsa
Party will be at the Von Braun Center.
Dance in the Dark will be at Dance Trance Fitness.
October 27: Halloween Party at the Madison Public
Library
Harry Potter - The Summer Caper for families: Burritt
Mystery Game and Dinner will be at Burritt on the
Mountain.
October 28: The Paranormal Study Center will meet
for Freaky Friday at the Radisson Hotel.
Randy Duck Costume Party will be at the Coffeetree
in Huntsville.
Coppertop has its 7th Annual Halloween Bash with
hourly costume contests and music by Driven Under.
October 28-30: The Renaissance Theatre presents The
Head that Wouldn’t Stay Dead.
Broadway Theatre performs Young Frankenstein.
October 29: The 3rd annual teen masquerade fae ball
will be at the hmcpl main branch.
Spooky Movies on the Green will be at 6pm in Hazel
Green.
The Vieux Carre Halloween Party will be tonight.
The Station in Madison’s Halloween Party will be
tonight with Black Eyed Susan.
Knight Moves in Hazel Green will have a Halloween
Costume Party and Contest. The grand prize is a trip
to Las Vegas.
The HSDS Halloween Costume Bash with Microwave
Dave will be at the
Flying Monkey Theatre.
October 31: Nick’s Ristorante on Bailey Cove is
having a Halloween Costume Party.
Trunk or Treat Pumpkinpalooza will be at the First
Baptist Church of Meridianville.
There will be a Spooktacular Halloween Celebration at
the Huntsville Public Library.
*Check Our Music & Events Calendar for Details
YOUR AD COULD
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Thank you for reading the fine print of the Valley Planet. The Valley Planet and valleyplanet.com are published every three weeks by J W Publications in Huntsville, AL. You can pick up the paper free all over the
place or get it free on the web. Copyright 2003 by the Valley Planet, Inc. All rights reserved. You can contact
me at jill@valleyplanet.com
Reproduction or use without our permission is strictly prohibited. The views and opinions expressed within
these pages and on the web site are not necessarily those of the Valley Planet or its staff. The Valley Planet is
not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts or art. Back issues are available for viewing on our web site www.
valleyplanet.com in the archives section. You may reach the Valley Planet office @ 256.533.4613 or by mail
at Valley Planet 203 Grove Ave. Huntsville, AL 35801. Subscriptions to the Valley Planet are now available
for $50 a year in the USA.
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VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
THE VALLEY PLANET
ca
at
1 h o u r 1 g re
e
For questions or additional information, contact
Tracy Cieniewicz at 256-859-4900 or email
tracyc@ucphuntsville.org.
Challenge registration is $20 ($25 after Oct. 31)
and includes a T-shirt at the Finish Line. Fun Mile
Register today at imAthlete.com.
Spectator Tip: Keep your distance from the finish
line, a k.a. the “doughnut dump.”
A Costume Salsa Party
costume salsa party? What a great idea! Every year salserblanko hosts a fun Halloween Costume
salsa party. This event is usually held on the weekend before Halloween. The great thing about
this party is that almost 70% of the party goers wear a costume (although a costume in not
required to attend). This is really cool. Salseroblanko’s costume salsa party attracts many salsa lovers
from New Jersey, Nashville, Birmingham, and other cities close by. This party is not your typical costume
party. You will not only see salsa dancers of all levels, you also get to enjoy several performances by
local dancers and dancers from out of town. The
highlight of this event is Cultural Explosion from
New Jersey. The music is played by a professional
salsa DJ from Virginia, salsa congress caliber DJ
Stephen Greene. The dancing is pretty much nonstop. Costumes are awesome, attitudes are great,
the dancing is spectacular and the music is very
addictive.
A
m il
fa t
gra
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The Challenge: Run 2 miles from the start line
in beautiful downtown Huntsville to Krispy
Kreme on North Memorial Parkway; Eat 1 dozen
doughnuts; Run 2 miles BACK to the finish line...
ALL IN ONE HOUR! The Challenge begins at
8 a m.
es
2,400 calories
H
untsville’s 3rd annual Krispy Kreme
Challenge to Benefit UCP will take
place Saturday, Nov. 19, at 8 a m. at the registration is $15 (by Oct. 31) and late Fun Mile
Blossomwood (former East Clinton) Elementary registration is $20 (Nov. 1-19) and includes a
KKC event T-shirt.
School campus, located at 200 White Street.
Saturday, Nov.19th
8:00 am
us
3rd Annual
Krispy
Kreme
Challenge
Nov. 19
ts
m s 1 2 do ug hn u
W! Doughnut Eating Contest
NinEthe
Fun Zone AND Team Registration!
Ivy Joe and the Snowballs Play at Book
Release Party on November 6.
R
ocket City Rock and Soul: Huntsville Musicians
Remember the 1960s is a new book written by local
author Jane DeNeefe. The book will also be available
at two Huntsville events in November where you can meet
the author and musicians. On Sunday November 6 at 5 PM,
Bandito Southside will host a book launch party and celebration
of Huntsville’s rock and soul musicians, including live music
by Ivy Joe and the Snowballs, short readings, and book signing.
The next event is Tuesday November 15, 6 PM, at the main
branch of the Huntsville Public Library in the atrium, with
reading and short book talk by Rocket City Rock and Soul
author Jane DeNeefe and music by special guests Jim Cavender
and Ivy Joe Milan. These are both child-friendly environments
where all ages are welcome. Please look for updates on the web
and on Facebook, or write janedeneefe@gmail.com for more
information.
Saleroblanko has stepped it up this year. Because
of the huge success last year, the costume party
will be held at Ballroom 1 at the Von Braun center
this year. How about some SALSA to go with
your costume party? This is a great party to try.
Something that is very different but so much fun.
It is worth attending.
WHAT: 4th Annual Costume Salsa Party
WHEN: Oct 22, 2011
WHERE: Von Braun Center, ballroom 1
TIME: 8:30 pm – 12 am
COST: $20 at the door
For more info about the party contact Salseroblanko
at salseroblanko@yahoo.com, or 901-605-8246.
Website is www.salseroblanko net
BoomBox will be
making a stop
in Huntsville’s
Crossroads
B
oomBox will be making a stop in
Huntsville’s Crossroads on their
‘Dark End of the Street’ fall tour on
Oct. 22. BoomBox consists of two versatile
producers, DJs, songwriters, multi-instrumentalists and longtime friends Russ Randolph and Zion Rock Godchaux. Together
they develop an electronic blend of vintage
Rock and Blues made to move dance floors
while incorporating their signature Backbeat,
Psychedelia and Funky House sounds.
THE VALLEY PLANET
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VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
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Unchained
Maladies
by Ricky Thomason
nd they’re off! With a clang and a bang,
the 2012 presidential election circus is
unofficially underway. Forget the option
to send in the clowns when it all goes to hell; the
clowns opened the show.
A
Mishy Bach is a cross-eyed
Barbie with an effing mean
streak. She and Rick Perry
both believe The Flintstones
were a documentary if you
believe they believe what
they say they believe-and I don’t believe a GD
word of it. But a number
of Americans do, and that’s
sad--really sad.
With Tea Potty influence and the resurgence of
the KKK mentality among the ultra conservatives,
Barack Obama has been painted into a corner by say “It’s about time to send all them damn
a group of foes with a collective IQ smaller than Meskins back where they come from, ‘specially in
his own. He has rolled over and played dead with Alabama.” There are more than enough morons in
a bullying, crying Boehner with a boner for him Alabama to say “Amen” on that.
almost to the point that he has disappointed even
Brown is the new black and the racists who have
his staunch supporters.
been biting their tongues bloody unable to say
Sarah Palin was mis-quoted as saying, “Once you anything openly about blacks are full-tilt-boogie
go black you’ll never go back.” She was reminded on the Hispanics.
the subject was politics.
Cut across shortys like Micky Hammon are tailorThe remaining Republicans? Fuhgettaboutit. Can made to suit this bunch. It’s a small hope, but I
anyone take this herd seriously? Mitt Romney have hope that Alabama’s electorate has seen
supported health care reform in Massachusetts, enough damage from the Dud Brothers’, Beason/
and that alone is almost enough to doom him. Add Hammon bill; for sure, farmers and poultry
the snide opinion that he is “not a Christian” but processing operations are suffering and the real
a “cult member” and you have it. The rest of the effect won’t be felt until next year.
field questions his religion while they barely resist
asking “How many first ladies we gonna have I said I had small hope, but it’s damned small hope
because Alabamians, particularly the Walmart
when Mittens gets elected?
Republicans have a long history of voting against
Oh, they’d have you believe a communion wafer their own self-interests and demonizing whoever
wouldn’t melt in their mouths when it comes to they are screwing over at the time.
anyone’s religion having anything to do with their
Add Hank Williams Junior’s barbaric yawp to this
politics or candidacy. mess and he’s the cherry on the top of Alabama’s
fruit and nut Sundays. Just remember, he really
Bullsh*t.
did land on his head in a fall from a mountaintop,
Michelle Bachmann? Good grief; listen to her for and wouldn’t have amounted to a pimple on his
a few minutes and she’ll let you know PDQ that daddy’s a*s anyway.
Jesus told her to run and talks to her all the time.
What she didn’t say was whether He told her to The Grand Poobah of the KKK did not respond
run toward the White House or away from it. A to questions about HWJ’s past support of the
spokesperson for Jesus confirmed, “He has talked organization, mainly because he wasn’t asked.
directly to Mishy Bachmann more than any whore My guess is Williams would deny knowing sheet
about the KKK when he lived in Cullman. You
since Mary Magdalene.”
can’t believe everything you hear and it’s hard
Bachmann is much more dangerous. Not only is to believe even a brain-damaged son of a legend
she far smarter than Palin (then again, so is my would do and say anything so stupid.
dog), she seems vindictive and evil in a Cruella
Lay off the guy. It’s a free speech issue. He can
Deville kind of way. take his Monday Night Football and go home. His
howling got on my nerves anyway.
The Ghosts of Fort Morgan
by Jessica Penot
T
he Fort Morgan area has become a vacation spot. It is south of here and its warm, sandy beaches
draw many local tourists. Its beaches sit overlooking the Gulf of Mexico and tourists come to
watch the dolphins and dip their toes in the sand. The sands of Fort Morgan carry an older, forgotten
history, however. Most tourists will never know that the sands they play in were once soaked in blood. Fort Morgan began construction in 1812 and was finished in 1834, and it was widely regarded
as the “finest example of military architecture in the New World.” The Fort was constructed
in a unique star shape that made it easier to defend. Fort Morgan and Fort Gaines sat on
opposing sides of Mobile Bay and acted together to close the Bay off and defend the waters.
Fort Morgan saw heavy fire during the Civil War. It was used defensively by the Confederates and
was also a starting point for blockade running ships. The Union took the Fort during the Battle of
Mobile Bay. After Fort Gaines fell, Union soldiers lay siege to the Fort and set the wooden parts of
the Fort on fire. Many men died in this battle and the Confederate soldiers did not meet happy ends.
It is not surprising that this old Fort has more than its fair share of ghosts. It has a long history filled
with war and fire. The old barracks are said to be the most haunted portions of the Fort. In 1916 or
1917 a prisoner hung himself in the barracks. According to local lore, you can still hear
the hanging man cry late at night. He is not
alone in his sorrow. During the Civil War, a
bomb went off in the Fort and several men
met a horrible fiery death. The bomb went
off in a room with a big fireplace and they say
you can still hear the men screaming at night.
The final ghost comes from an unconfirmed
story of woe and sorrow. They say that some
time in the19th century, a young woman was
dragged into the fort by unknown men. The
woman was beaten, raped and murdered. According to legend, she still wanders the
Fort looking for justice. 6
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VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
THE VALLEY PLANET
W
elcome to The Jazz Lounge. This session is extra special for me, and in a minute you will
see why. A spectacular evening of jazz, in celebration of education, is in store for Huntsville
on the evening of Saturday, November 5th, 2011.
Maximum Life Enhancement, Inc. presents “Smooth
Vibrations: A Benefit Concert,” from 8:00 p.m. – 11 p.m.,
at Calhoun Community College-Research Park, 102 Wynn
Drive, Huntsville, AL. Proceeds from this event will
support “The Jack & Annie Anderson 2nd Chance Endowed
Scholarship. The evening will include good food, music
and a silent auction. Featured in concert will be one of my
favorite smooth jazz artists – keyboardist, composer, music
director and studio musician Brian Simpson. Yes, Brian is
coming to Huntsville!
Brian Simpson is an extraordinary person. He has always made himself
accessible and been very accommodating whenever I’ve reached out to him.
He was a guest in “The Jazz Lounge” last October. I’ve also had the pleasure
of interviewing him on my “Midday Jazz” show at WJAB 90.9 FM. With a
solid fan base around the world, this very talented artist makes good music
while exhibiting a class and style all his own.
In 1991, Brian Simpson co-wrote the hit “The First Time” by the group
Surface, which went to # 1 topping both R & B and Adult Contemporary
charts. He took the smooth jazz world by storm, in 2005, when he hit # 1 with
“It’s All Good.” Since that time, the hits just keep coming, including his latest
CD “South Beach,” with a lineup that includes Euge Groove, George Duke
and Peter White. The CD has received extensive airplay at WJAB.
Brian is the best at what he does, and he is well respected in the music business. He has toured and
performed with Stanley Clarke, Boney James, Gerald Albright, Janet Jackson, David Sanborn, Jonathan
Butler, Kirk Whalum, Chuck Loeb, Eric Benet, Brian Bromberg, Everette Harp, Larry Carlton, Norman
Brown, Peter White, Teena Marie and many more. Besides this, Brian has been jazz saxophonist Dave
Koz’s long-time musical director, as well as music director for THE annual cruise to be on – “The
Smooth Jazz Cruise.”
There’s lots of anticipation regarding Brian Simpson coming to Huntsville, and I reached out to ask
him for his thoughts. Brian told me: “I’m very excited to be performing in Huntsville. This year has
been something else in regards to me traveling. I’ve been to Indonesia, Thailand, Russia, and England
already this year, but there’s something special about performing in your part of the country. I love how
the fans there appreciate live music, and ‘jazz music’ in particular!”
The President of Maximum Life Enhancement, Inc., who is responsible for coordinating this amazing
event, happens to be my brother, Kenny Anderson. By the way, on October 4th, a ribbon-cutting
ceremony was held celebrating the company’s new membership in the Chamber of Commerce of
Madison County. Kenny has been the host of “2nd Chance,” a weekly radio talk show at WJOU 90.1
FM, here in Huntsville, for 21 years. He’s also Dean of Humanities & Social Sciences at Calhoun
Community College. He established “The Jack & Annie Anderson 2nd Chance Scholarship,” named in
honor of our late parents, who had a strong commitment to education and were always very supportive
of us. I asked Kenny to sum up the event and what this is all about. He said:
“Mr. Simpson will perform a 75-minute concert as part of an evening of food, fellowship, and fundraising
that will include a silent auction. Kathleen’s Catering will provide the catering, and several auction
items will be available including sports memorabilia, trips, and service items.
The Jack & Annie Anderson 2nd Chance Endowed Scholarship is a new scholarship being endowed with
an initial investment of $25,000 at Calhoun Community College to support the academic success of
students who have faced adversity in life and are now pursuing a college degree or certificate to reach
their educational goals.
The scholarship is named after our parents Jack & Annie Anderson (deceased) in honor of their life
commitment to providing a quality education for their children. Although they did not benefit from the
full range of educational opportunities available, they consistently made sacrifices so that their children
could achieve academic success at every level possible and were my greatest cheerleaders in life.
In my experience, I have found the community college student to be one of the best in the education arena.
These students are also most representative of individuals who may have experienced the challenges of
life and have overcome obstacles to pursue their educational dreams. The Jack & Annie Anderson 2nd
Chance Endowed Scholarship will establish a legacy that will continue to provide financial support for
these great students for years to come.”
By the way, all donations made on behalf of the scholarship are tax deductible, and the Calhoun
Foundation will provide a letter verifying donations for tax records. The Calhoun College Foundation
can be reached at (256) 306-2583.
For more information on Maximum Life Enhancement, Inc., the scholarship, and Brian Simpson
concert: www maximumlifeenhancement.com, www.eventbrite.com. Kenny Anderson can be reached
at: (256) 679-4241, or mxlife@aol.com.
We’d love for you to join us the night of Saturday, November 5th, 2011, for a most memorable evening.
A heartfelt thank you to all who have offered and expressed their support. It is greatly appreciated.
You can always reach me at: teekynyc@yahoo.com.
Until next time, stay cool, and keep it jazzy!
THE VALLEY PLANET
#102011110911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
7
True BS
vote with Romney. Huntsman hints of reviving the
Mormon practice of polygamy. “Americans love
their First Lady in the White House,” Huntsman
said. “Why not have a second and third?”
Rick Perry. The Texas governor started late but
rose quickly, charming Republican voters when
he boasted of shooting a coyote with his Ruger
he Republican presidential candidates (all semi-automatic pistol. Perry dropped equally
five dozen of them), having decided that quickly when he vowed to use the same gun to
their previous debates this year (all three secure the border with Mexico.
hundred of them) haven’t provided enough time
to articulate their grievances against The President Herman Cain. The former businessman gained
(all eight million of them), have scheduled another valuable leadership experience as CEO of
round of debates. These extravaganzas of polemic Godfather’s Pizza. Cain touts his “9-9-9” tax plan
genius will be used to further explain why Comrade to restore economic prosperity. Cain’s prospects
Obama is turning the USA into the USSR, and tumbled recently, however, as an enraged Patrick
why America’s only hope of survival is to elect Doyle, CEO of Domino’s Pizza, claimed the Cain
[fill in the blank Republican] and to stop the flow plan is a rip-off of a recent Domino’s promotion:
of illegal aliens by funding the construction of a “9 pizzas, 9 toppings, 9 dollars.”
mile-wide canal along the length of our southern
border, connecting the Gulf of Mexico to the Michelle Bachman.
Bachman titillated
Pacific Ocean. This aquatic security zone will be Republican voters and scored huge poll gains
named “The Ronald Reagan Memorial Spillway”, when she stated she was a “submissive wife.”
and will be patrolled and secured by a newly Her poll numbers dropped quickly, however,
constructed US Naval Task Force, consisting of when Maxim Magazine responded by naming
six nuclear aircraft carriers, five battleships, forty Bachman the 2011 “Milf of the Year.”
missile cruisers, and ten pods of dolphins trained
to locate, harass, and bite any Mexican who Newt Gingrich.
The Gingrich campaign
attempts to evade capture by scuba-diving across stumbled when he divorced and married for the
the spillway.
eleventh time. His campaign seemed to stabilize
though, when he vowed to remain married
To maximize viewer enjoyment of these vital during his run for the presidency. “This one’s a
debates, let’s review the top six Republican keeper,” Gingrich said, “at least through the New
candidates. (Sadly, as this issue went to print, Hampshire primary.”
former Alaska governor and Maxim Magazine’s
“Milf of The Month,” Sarah Palin, announced she Reviews of other Republicans to follow in a future
would not be a candidate in 2012).
issue. Meanwhile, the Democrats may be up to
something themselves. At a meeting of campaign
Mitt Romney. The front runner. His real first fundraisers, Bill Clinton seemed to be stirring the
name is Williard. No wonder he calls himself fires of a Democratic challenge to Barack Obama.
Mitt. Romney leads most polls because he “looks The former President shocked the party faithful
Presidential” thanks to his Givenchy suits and by saying, “My wife is still the best man for the
strategic “hint of grey” sideburns. Romney vows job.”
to maintain the statesmanlike look with hair dye
and select plastic surgery, so as to “cast a dashing Tim welcomes comments at truebs@aol.com
American figure at summits of world leaders.”
It’s a Grand Old Party
by Tim Benton
T
John Huntsman. This former Utah governor
could doom party unity by splitting the Mormon
Dracula: Lord of the
Vampires and The Head
That Wouldn’t Stay Dead:
This Month!
f Hollywood, pop culture, and teenage girls are to be believed, vampires are sensitive creatures that
sparkle in the sunlight and date underage females. But some 6000 years of folklore contradict this
sappy new stereotype. The vampire, as cultural archetype, is older than human civilization, and is
anything but sweet and sensitive. Indeed, a vampire is, by definition, an animated corpse that preserves
its “undead” condition by drinking blood. According to legend, anyone may become a vampire after
death. Yet when one utters the word, one name comes first to mind. Wayne Miller, writer and director of
Dracula, has taken the conventional vampire image that we all know and has shaken them up. “All the
same characters are there and the story is essentially the one from Stoker’s narrative, but there are some
twists. We do some things in this play that have, to my knowledge, never been done before. And, in my
opinion, the changes work very well.” There is one thing, however, Miller wants to make crystal clear
about his Dracula. “Evil doesn’t sparkle,” Miller says with a laugh. “And it never dies.”
I
What do you get when you mix a campy horror film and re-vamped versions of songs that everyone
knows? You get The Head That Wouldn’t Stay Dead: The Musical. The brainchild of Writer-Director
Bob Baker at Renaissance Theatre, this new horror musical is going to kill you with talent, laughter
and its unforgettable songs. Writer Bob Baker got the idea for The Head That Wouldn’t Stay Dead:
The Musical from a campy 1962 “B” science fiction-horror movie, The Brain That Wouldn’t Die.
The plot centers on mad-scientist cum M.D., Dr. Mitch, who loses his gorgeous girlfriend, Penny, in
a terrible car accident on the way for a weekend at his country estate (that just happens to have a Dr.
Frankenstein-type laboratory in the basement). Dr. Mitch rescues the head of Penny and takes it to his
laboratory, where he manages to keep her head alive. Penny is none too happy being a head on a platter,
so Dr. Mitch starts looking for body-donor candidates. Hysterically funny antics ensue. This play is the
perfect Halloween entertainment. Several thrills, not too many chills.
See both Dracula: Lord of the Vampires and The Head That Wouldn’t Stay Dead: The Musical at
Renaissance Theatre starting this month. Dracula is scheduled from October 14-30 at 7:30pm. The
Head opens October 28 and runs through November 6 at 7:30pm. Dinner Theatre is scheduled for both
shows on October 29 at 6:00pm with the shows to follow at 7:30pm. For tickets call 256-536-3117 or
visit www renaissancetheatre net.
8
#102011110911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
THE VALLEY PLANET
My Hometown
S
hortly before 3:00 p m. the other day, I clasped my hands and said a silent prayer for a stranger
I’ve never met or will ever meet. When the Italian judge read Amanda Knox’s verdict and the
translator’s voice relayed the news, I exhaled. We grew up in the same area, I just a decade ahead
of her. My heart went out to her four years ago, and stayed with her ever since. My attention to her
case would probably border on weird-o and obsessive. (I never sent her a letter, so my fascination never
stepped over that line.)
When the next evening came, I imagined Amanda in her own home, walking through the door, smelling
the air, soaking in the sights. There is no place like home. There’s no place like your hometown. These
are the places we belong. Since relocating to the other side of Alabama, this lesson has been thrown
at me many times. For 11 of the last 13 years, Huntsville was where I lived. It’s the longest I’ve lived
anywhere; I’ve visited since I was born – was even in town for the 1974 tornadoes. It’s as close to a
hometown as I’ve got. I know its streets, its leaders, and its secrets.
The weekend before Amanda’s release I was back in the Rocket City, tending to family matters: mom
in from Africa and a grandmother in quickly failing health. In addition, I did the regular check on my
house: cleaning, purging, and dusting. It never ceases to amaze me that an empty house can get so dirty.
Before I hit the road south, I shut down the power, turned off the water and waved farewell to the house.
Six hours later, I called my mom to let her know I made it safely to Gulf Shores.
“I’m home… I mean I’m here,” I said.
“Which one feels more like home?” she asked.
I paused, watched the dogs run about the apartment. They were glad to be out of the car and were
busy stretching the legs. I replied, “They both do.” After we hung up, I wondered if this was actually
possible. Can you feel at home in two different places? Can two sets of bedrooms, bathrooms, dishes,
towels, and mailing addresses feel equally “home”? Can you be so lucky to have two homes, even if
they are separated by 340 miles?
Yes. You can. Because feeling at home has nothing to do with the stuff you buy. Feeling at home is
exactly that – a feeling. Home is a feeling that gives you permission to be at ease with your surroundings.
It’s a sense that you’re okay and everything else is as well. Home is more than a place.
halloweenexpress.com/huntsville
How fortunate am I to have many places where I feel at home. From the Tennessee Valley to the
Emerald City, there are places and people where and with whom I am safe.
As I danced in the place between awake and asleep, I imagined Amanda Knox as she relaxed into her
own bed, feeling at home for the first time in four years. Before I surrender to sleep the dogs press
against me and regardless of which side of the state I’m on, I’m pleased to be home.
The Single Guy:
Communi-Date
by Aaron Hurd
Bad Timing!?!
W
e just have bad timing” – How many
times have you heard or used that line,
and is there any truth to it? For a guy,
who is famous for wanting what I can’t have - that
line has pretty much shaped my dating world. My
timing is great - as long as you and I want the same
thing in the relationship. Not so great if you’re
ready to settle down and I am not at the moment or
vice versa. Is it really “timing” or is it an excuse?
What do you think?
The truth is: if a girl I am flirting with is all of
a sudden into me and I am not as into her as I
thought I was… I am suddenly too busy for a
relationship and still trying to figure out things
- the timing is just not right! Don’t get mad you have used it too! Plus, it’s always good to
leave that door slightly open in case we want to
come back and explore it again at another “time”.
Maybe when we realize that someone better is
not coming around during our “not the right time
stage” then all of a sudden - the timing seems
perfect, right!?!
Then what happens!? That person we dissed
is all of a sudden not around, not interested
anymore, and hopefully, if they’re smart, moved
on! It comes down to attraction and want. If we
REALLY want the person then we are going to
make time, make it work, and try to put forth the
effort to make it happen. Bad timing is an excuse
to basically say yeah at the time, you were not
worth the time and we just have bad timing! I
laugh every time I hear ‘bad timing’…because its
goes back to keeping that person “on the hook.”
The person who wants the other is not thinking I
just have bad timing…if they are they are lying to
themselves. We have all told ourselves that.
I think it is a little bit of both. I am not the best
at picking the right time to ask a girl out, or when
to confess my feelings. But does it come down
to timing or is it something else? How many
times have you heard, “It happened when I least
expected it, I was not even looking!” Does that
tie in with timing? Plans revolve around time so it
should, right? However, at the time they were not
looking! Honestly, I believe timing has nothing to
Timing is really regret in disguise! It is a line
do with it - it’s an excuse!
we tell ourselves and others to excuse our missed
We have to blame something for why it did not opportunity. Bad timing really is bad attraction!
work out so why not time? I mean it can’t be us! Believe me, if your dream girl or man came into
I am too sexy for her not to like me so it must be your life at a “Bad Time,” I can guarantee you it
that damn timing! (Yup-I’ve used that one). “If would all of a sudden be “Perfect Timing” fate
I only asked her/him earlier”, “if I let her/him in and love, right?
when I had the chance”…the timing just was not
right! SURE! Keep telling ourselves what we
want to hear. It’s pure BS. We are great at lying to
ourselves when the time is right (no pun intended
haha)!
THE VALLEY PLANET
Is timing everything in dating or just an
excuse? What do you think? Email me at
aaronthesingleguy@gmail.com Thanks for
taking the “time” to read!
#102011110911
Across From Madison Square Mall
5850 University Dr. NW
Huntsville, AL
5.00 OFF
$
a purchase
of $25.00
or more.
Expires Oct. 31, 2011. Only at this location. Limit one coupon per customer.
Cannot be combined with any other offer or discount.
Across From Madison Square Mall
5850 University Dr. NW
Huntsville, AL
H 1 8
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
s ille L 4c ndd 1
2
9
Thursday, October 20
BANDITO BURRITO (MADISON)
(SEE AD PG 13), Marge
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Dave Anderson
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Elvis Moonshine
CROSSROADS, Renegade workshop
DAILY BREW (DECATUR), Open Mic Night
DIAMONDS, Bike Night w/ Live Music
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Slip Jig
FURNITURE FACTORY, 45 Surprise Acoustic
GLASS’S COCKTAILS & GRILL (DECATUR), Karaoke
w/ Lewis
GRID IRON GRILL (NEW HOPE), Open Mic/ Live
Acoustics
HIGHWAY HAVEN, Karaoke Contest
HOPPER’S, Karaoke
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Lance Almon Smith
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Dave Anderson
KNIGHT MOVES, Karaoke
KNUCKLEHEADS, Bike Night w/ Live Music
LEE ANN’S, Song Birds
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Bike Night w/ Live
Music
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/ Amber
SAMMY T’S MUSIC HALL, DJ Keibot
SANDY’S ROADHOUSE (GUNTERSVILLE), Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, 5ive O Clock Charlie
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Tim Tucker
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Trey Browder
VIEUX CARRE, Ladies Night/DJ Brandon Mac
VILLAGE PIZZA (DOWNTOWN ATHENS), Barry Kay
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Open Mic Night
WILD HORSE SALOON, Karaoke w/ Dustin
ackson Browne: Solo
Acoustic Volumes one
and two. Just because
you can play in a band with a
herd of other musicians behind
you doesn’t mean you can do
it alone. Playing solo is a very
naked thing to do, just you, an
instrument, your voice and an audience.
J
Anyone who saw Jackson Browne’s last solo tour can vouch that he’s getting better and better and is
one of the few artists that may be much better solo than with accompaniment. That he is a songwriter
extraordinaire has never been in doubt, but one of the things that makes Browne so powerful solo is
guitar playing. It’s always just what the song needs to set the mood for the always moving lyrics. This
is a man who can bring tears to your eyes with a few words and six strings, somehow melding so much
emotion into the whole that it’s hard to explain. It’s something better understood with the ears.
As with his guitar, Browne doesn’t overplay on the piano. He uses just enough notes to fill what is
needed. Jackson Browne is truly a national treasure and one of the greatest songwriters of this or any
other generation. It’s no accident that so many other artists have covered and had hits with Browne’s
songs.
Jackson Browne: Solo Acoustic Volumes is more than just a compilation of “Greatest Hits,” it’s a
masterpiece by a master in his prime. You may have forgotten how much you love Jackson Browne
until you hear this collection. “Too Many Angels” is worth the cost of the collection on its own.
This is a must for all serious Jackson Browne fans and absolutely one of the best starts for any first time
listeners – if there is such a thing. Browne’s music isn’t crash, bam, boom. It is serious, introspective
work that relaxes and makes you think and marvel at how a stranger can get inside your head and say
what you feel better than you can.
Saturday, October 22
AMERICAN LEGION POST 176, Karaoke
BILLY’S SPORTS BAR (HAZEL GREEN),
Karaoke w/ Larry
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW (SEE AD PG 10),
Open Mic Night
COPPERTOP (SEE AD PG 13), Merriman
CROSSROADS, Boombox w/ special guest White
Noise and Grown Folks Band
DIAMONDS, CO Jones
FRATERNAL ORDER OF EAGLES (DECATUR),
Square One
FURNITURE FACTORY, Rob Aldridge/Booty Shakers
GRID IRON GRILL (NEW HOPE), DJ/ Doc Roc
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Juice
HIGHWAY HAVEN, Shameless
Jackson Browne: Solo Acoustic Volumes one and two.
Disc: 1
1. Barricades Of Heaven 2. Intro 3. These Days
4. Intro 5. St. Marks 6. Intro 7. Fountain Of Sorrow 8. Your Bright Baby Blues
9. For A Dancer 10. Too Many Angels 11. Intro 12. For Everyman
13. Intro 14. Lives In The Balance 15. Intro
16. Looking East 17. Intro 18. The Pretender
19. Intro 20. Take It Easy
Disc: 2
1. Never Stop 2. Intro 3. The Night Inside Of Me
4. Intro 5. Enough Of the Night 6. Intro
7. Something Fine 8. Sky Blue And Black
9. In The Shape Of A Heart 10. Alive In The World 11. Intro
10
Friday, October 21
53 SPORTS BAR & GRILL, Blackbird
AMERICAN LEGION POST 176, The Mersey Band
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Hashbrown
Karaoke w/ Larry
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Underdogs
CASA MONTEGO, Reggae & More with DJ Frankie J
COFFEETREE BOOKS & BREW (SEE AD PG 10), Larry,
Peggy and Jerry
COPPERTOP (SEE AD PG 13), Thad and Company
and Fat Momma
CROSSROADS, Steel Magnolia w/ special guest
Elenowen
DIAMONDS, Redd Letters
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
ELK’S LODGE, Karaoke
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Sing Along with Nancy
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Abstract Artimus
and Fargo with Oto Benga
Karaoke w/ Howie and HDK
FURNITURE FACTORY, Full Circle
GEE’S PLACE, Jerry Don Collins Band
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Proton Joe
HOPPER’S, Peter and the Wolfe
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Dave Anderson/ Kilborn
Alley Blues Band
KNUCKLEHEADS, Jason Albert Band
LEE ANN’S, Pla’station
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/ DJ Aubrey Walker
LONE GOOSE, Marge at Large
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Todd Stovall Band
OLIVIA’S BAR AND GRILL, Karaoke
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Partner’s Cabaret Show
SAM AND GREG’S, Chip Gulbro and Friends
SPORTS PAGE, Boogafunk
THE BRICK (DECATUR), The Strangers
THE BRICKHOUSE (PROVIDENCE)
(SEE AD PG 12), EZELL
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Glenn and Libba
THE STATION, Live Music/ Karaoke
VIEUX CARRE, The Vieux Carre Playmates
w/ special guest
#102011110911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Black Eyed Susan
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Kozmic Mama
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w/DJ Mike B
LONE GOOSE, Cracker Jacks
MOODY MONDAYS, Karaoke w/ Sweet T
SAMMY T’S MUSIC HALL, Colt Ford
SPORTS PAGE, Black Label
THE BRICK (DECATUR), We Three Kings
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), John Laird
THE STATION, Jason Albert Band
w/ special guest
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL,
Mississippi John Doude
Sunday, October 23
CASA MONTEGO, Devere Pride Trio
HOPPER’S, Karaoke w/ Tara Kearns
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Sunday Blues Jam
hosted by Freddy Earl and the Blues Mercenaries
SPORTS PAGE, Open Mic
VIEUX CARRE, Jr. Playmates and Open Stage
Karaoke w/ DJ Brandon Mac
Monday, October 24
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Robert LaSalle
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Fat Momma
GLASS’S COCKTAILS & GRILL (DECATUR),
Karaoke w/ Lewis
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL,
Open Mic w/ Ant and Andrew
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Acoustic Open Mic
hosted by Greg Rowell
KNUCKLEHEADS, Karaoke
SPORTS PAGE, Dave Anderson
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Lacey Atchison
Tuesday, October 25
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Jazz Jam Open Mic
BAUMHOWER’S OF HUNTSVILLE,
Dave Anderson (6-9)
COPPERTOP (SEE AD PG 13),
HDK Karaoke with Howie
FURNITURE FACTORY, Karaoke
Karaoke w/ Lewis
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Noel Webster
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Charlie Howell
LEE ANN’S, Rudy Mockabee
LONE GOOSE, Toy Shop
MAC’S SPORTSBAR AND STEAKHOUSE (ATHENS),
Karaoke w/ Doc Roc
OUR PLACE (DECATUR), Karaoke w/ DW
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL,
Open Mic w/ Marge Loveday
SPORTS PAGE, Chelvis and the Bean
THE STATION, Karaoke
VILLAGE PIZZA (DOWNTOWN ATHENS), Matt Prater
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Dave Anderson
Wednesday, October 26
3RD BASE GRILL (SOUTH PARKWAY), Robby
Reichmann (8pm)
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Microwave Dave
CAZEDORES, Karaoke Night
Songwriter’s Jam
COPPERTOP (SEE AD PG 13), Bike Night w/Sad Thad
and Fat Momma
FURNITURE FACTORY, Pla’station
GLASS’S COCKTAILS & GRILL (DECATUR), Karaoke
w/ Lewis
GRID IRON GRILL (NEW HOPE), Open Mic Night
HOPPER’S, DJ Lil’ Ed
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Dave Anderson/
DeRobert and the Half-Truths
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT, Songwriter’s Jam Solo
artists
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Johnny Collier
LONE GOOSE, Dawn Osborne Band
OUR PLACE (DECATUR), Bike Night w/ Live Music
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Talent Contest
SPORTS PAGE, Bourbon & Shamrocks
music cont. on pg.11
THE VALLEY PLANET
music cont. from pg.10
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Mike Roberts
VILLAGE PIZZA (DOWNTOWN ATHENS),
The Grant and Charles Show
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, James Irvin
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Smokin Guns
FURNITURE FACTORY, Clay and Andy
Karaoke w/ Lewis
GRID IRON GRILL (NEW HOPE),
Open Mic/ Live Acoustics
HOPPER’S, Karaoke
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Captain Midnight
LEE ANN’S, Love Child
LONE GOOSE, Traci Traci
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Bike Night
w/ Pat and Cory
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Halloween Freak Out
w/ DJ Clint
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Open Mic Night
WILD HORSE SALOON, Stacy Mitchhart /
Karaoke with Dustin
Friday, October 28
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Bourbon & Shamrocks
Karaoke w/ Larry
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Kristin Ford and Cara Cobra
Randy Duck/Halloween Party
COPPERTOP (SEE AD PG 13), Drivin Under
CROSSROADS, Perpetual Groove
DIAMONDS, Horizon
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
FURNITURE FACTORY, Liquid Caravan
GEE’S PLACE, Open Mic
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Southbound Junkies
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Dave Anderson/ We
Three Kings and the Queen
LEE ANN’S, Groove
LONE GOOSE, O’Dell Johnson Duo
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Section 8
SPORTS PAGE, 5ive O’Clock Charlie
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Chocolate Cracker
w/ special guest
Lance Almon Smith
WILD HORSE SALOON, Karaoke w/ DJ Jimbo
downstairs Matt
BANDITO BURRITO (MADISON) (SEE AD PG 13),
Cracker Jacks, The Barnstormers, Pickin’ Addiction,
The Pollies and a Car Show
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, LaSalle
Karaoke w/ Larry
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Destined
Open Mic Night
CROSSROADS, Halloween Costume
Contest w/ DiscOasis
DIAMONDS, Underdogs
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, HSDS w/
Microwave Dave
Square One
THE VALLEY PLANET
FURNITURE FACTORY, The Zook’s (Halloween Bash)
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Booty Shakers
HOPPER’S, Peter and the Wolfe/ Halloween Bash
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, The Good Doctor
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Playback
LONE GOOSE, Toy Shop
SAMMY T’S MUSIC HALL, Halloween Party
SPORTS PAGE, Bridges Burn, L.I.E.
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Black Label
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Trey and Kenny
THE STATION, Black Eyed Susan
w/ special guest
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Two Days Gone
WILD HORSE SALOON, DJ Dustin downstairs DJ
Jimbo Karaoke
Sunday, October 30
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, HRO
COPPERTOP (SEE AD PG 13), Open Mic
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER, Balthrop, Alabama
Monday, October 31
Karaoke w/ Lewis
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Open Mic w/ Marge
Tom Evanchuck & the Old Money Tuesday, November 1
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Que Rico
Dave Anderson (6-9)
FURNITURE FACTORY, Karaoke
Karaoke w/ Lewis
LEE ANN’S, Pot Luck
Karaoke w/ Doc Roc
Wednesday, November 2
3RD BASE GRILL (SOUTH PARKWAY),
Marge Loveday (8pm)
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Open Mic
Songwriter’s Jam
FINNEGAN’S PUB, Bourbon & Shamrocks
Karaoke w/ Lewis
HOPPER’S, DJ Lil’ Ed
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Jonathon Scales
Fourchestra
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT,
Songwriter’s Jam Solo artists
KNUCKLEHEADS, Crush
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Sargent Peppers
SPORTS PAGE, Chris Cook
VILLAGE PIZZA (DOWNTOWN ATHENS), The Grant
and Charles Show
#102011110911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
11
Thursday, November 3
Karaoke w/ Lewis
HOPPER’S, Karaoke
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, We Three Kings
LEE ANN’S, Crush
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL,
Bike Night w/ Live Music
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Pat and the Peeps
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Open Mic
Friday, November 4
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Tangled String
Karaoke w/ Larry
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Dawn Osborne
Showcase Performer
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
GEE’S PLACE, Cross Cut Band
12
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Jason Albert Band
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Love Child
LEE ANN’S, Pla’station
LONE GOOSE, Fundraiser w/ Live Music
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Randy Jones
OUR PLACE (DECATUR), Twodaze Gone
SPORTS PAGE, Local Orbit, Destined, Guest
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Bone Dry
w/ special guest
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, We Three Kings
WILD HORSE SALOON, Karaoke w/ DJ Jimbo
downstairs Matt
Saturday, November 5
Karaoke w/ Larry
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Abstract Theory
Open Mic Night
COPPERTOP (SEE AD PG 13), Carter G.
CROSSROADS, Rasputina
Square One
GEE’S PLACE, Huntsville Hootenanny-Huntsville
Humane Society Benefit GRID IRON GRILL (NEW HOPE), DJ/ Doc Roc
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), The Breakers
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, 5ive O Clock Charlie
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Big 40
LONE GOOSE, Redd Letters
SPORTS PAGE, Indian Rodeo
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Cheezee
w/ special guest
WILD HORSE SALOON, DJ Dustin downstairs DJ
Jimbo Karaoke
Sunday, November 6
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Rocket City Rock and Soul
Book Launch w/ Ivy Joe and the Snowballs
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/ DJ
Brandon Mac
Monday, November 7
Karaoke w/ Lewis
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Open Mic w/
Ant and Andrew
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Tim Tucker
Tuesday, November 8
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Jazz Jam Open Mic
Dave Anderson (6-9)
Karaoke w/ Lewis
LEE ANN’S, Rudy Mockabee
Karaoke w/ Doc Roc
#102011110911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
3RD BASE GRILL (SOUTH PARKWAY), Robby
Eichman (8pm)
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Open Mic
Songwriter’s Jam
Karaoke w/ Lewis
HOPPER’S, Lil’ Ed
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, The Robs
KAFFEEKLATSCH @ NIGHT,
Songwriter’s Jam Solo artists
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEE ANN’S, Big 40
SPORTS PAGE, Bourbon & Shamrocks
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Tim Tucker
VILLAGE PIZZA (DOWNTOWN ATHENS), The Grant
and Charles Show
DIAMONDS, Bike Night w/Live Music
Karaoke w/ Lewis
HOPPER’S, Karaoke
THE VALLEY PLANET
LEE ANN’S, LaRose
LONE GOOSE, Traci Traci
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL,
Bike Night w/ Live Music
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Barry Hall
VOODOO LOUNGE BAR & GRILL, Open Mic
Friday, November 11
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Silverstreak
Karaoke w/ Larry
COPPERTOP (SEE AD PG 13), Psycho Hillbillies
CROSSROADS, Carolina Chocolate Drops
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Hot Rod Otis
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Scott Holt Band Acoustic
KNUCKLEHEADS, Jason Albert Band
LEE ANN’S, Full Circle
LONE GOOSE, Chinchillionaires
MOORESVILLE BAR & GRILL, Todd Stovall Band
PARTNER’S BAR & GRILL, Partners Cabaret Show
SPORTS PAGE, Brian Jones Trio
THE BRICK (DECATUR), The Breakers
THE DOCKS (SCOTTSBORO), Kenny Barry
THE VALLEY PLANET
w/ special guest
Dawn Osborne Band
WILD HORSE SALOON, Karaoke w/
DJ Jimbo downstairs Matt
Karaoke w/ Larry
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S, Bo Steele and Ben Rabino
Open Mic Night
Square One
HUMPHREY’S BAR &GRILL, Seducing Alice
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LONE GOOSE, O’Dell Johnson Duo
SPORTS PAGE, Jury
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Lava Lamp
w/ special guest
Sunday, November 13
WILD HORSE SALOON, DJ Dustin downstairs
DJ Jimbo Karaoke
#102011110911
INDEPENDENT ARTIST, JONATHAN LAIRD
“POPS” INTO THE SOUTH TO PROMOTE
HIS FIRST MUSICAL RELEASE
W
ith a chill in the air, and a turn of the seasons, Nashville artist Jonathan Laird celebrates
the first leg of his Southeast regional “Tangled Up In Me” tour celebrating his critically
acclaimed EP, “Tangled Up In Me.”
Consisting of original music inspired by pop culture heroes, both young and old, this young music
aficionado puts his own twist on some very familiar sounds.
Huntsville’s publication, “Valley Planet” voted him “Best Jazz Artist” in their “Best of the Valley”
reader’s poll in 2010. His songs have been spun on independent podcasts in Germany, New York, and
the United Kingdom, and two songs from his current EP release, “Tangled Up In Me” have been aired
on 104.3 WZYP out of Huntsville. His EP was produced by Cam DeVaney. (Flyleaf)
Jonathan delivers a hooky slice of happiness
by combining head-bopping grooves, silky
vocals and picturesque lyricism. It’s a style
of modern pop that meshes elements of Paul
Simon and John Mayer with George Benson
and Jason Mraz. He is currently writing songs
for his first full-length recording, performing
with Chopper Wilson of the Jason Albert Band
(Heartland), Bonner Black and is co-writing
with Lee Pinson and Sarah Ray Causey. In
addition, Jonathan has shared the stage with
Independent Christian artists Jonathan Lee,
Kathleen Carnali, Jason Albert and Norris Jones
(Michael Jackson). He has shared the studio
with Buddy Hyatt (Toto) and Bruce Boughton
(Reba McEntire). He currently performs as a
solo artist and is also a supporting musician for
other artists. Jonathan has also played benefits
ranging from The Arthritis Foundation to
Relay for Life and Susan G. Komen.
Contact Jonathan at jonathan@
jonathanlaird.net for more information.
www.jonathanlaird.net
the end!
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
13
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
The Lawrence County Arts Council announces a call
to artists for a juried photography exhibit entitled
Sights of Lawrence County. The exhibit will be on
display at Art Inspirations of the Valley beginning
in September and ending October 31, 2011. The
exhibition is open to all photographers18 years of
age or older residing in the United States. www.
lawrencecountyarts.com, 256-905-0700.
The Hudson Alpha’s Tie the Ribbons luncheon
will be at The Jackson Center, 6001 Moquin Drive, in
Huntsville from 12-1:15pm. www.hudsonalpha.org
Art with a Twist will be at the Huntsville Museum of
Art from 5:30-8:30pm. www.hsvmuseum.org
– Automata will be at the Tennessee Valley Museum
of Art in Tuscumbia now through October 28th.
www.ttvaa.org
There will be a Gallery Show Exhibit featured artists
from Alabama A&M at Sam and Greg’s Pizzeria until
November 3rd. www.artshuntsville.org
Tate Farms Cotton Pickin’ Pumpkins is open for tours
now through October 31st. The activities include hay
bale, cotton picker slides, picking your own pumpkin
and much more. www.Tatefarmspumkins.com
Moody Mondays will have a video golf tournament
every Thursday at 6:30pm. The cost to play is $10 per
person. 256-539-9945
Mic Nice hosted by Simply Tam will be from 6-7:30
pm every Thursday evening. We have implemented
the “Independent Thought Artists” series to help
inspire dreamers to dream bigger, to face their fears,
to step out on faith and live as artfully as life will allow.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/micnice. After Mic
Nice, Black’s Smokehouse Presents Cocktails located
at 3701 Governors Dr. It will be an evening of “Poetic
Lyrical Intoxications”. 9pm with no cover charge.
The Huntsville Museum of Art will have the exhibit
Huntsville Photographic Society Members
Showcase. These beautiful works can be found in
the Prozan Community Gallery near the new Williams
street entrance. Free. www.hsvmuseum.org
Light the Night Walk will be at Bridgestreet Towne
Center from 6:30-8:30pm.
Align and Wine will be every Thursday at 6pm at the
Huntsville Museum of Art. It is Yoga Class followed
by wine and hors d’oeuvres. The class is $15 and if
staying for wine and hors d’oeuvres please donate at
least $2. http://mitziconnell.com/align-and-wine.
The 37th Annual Taste of Huntsville will be at the Von
Braun Center at 5:30pm. Tickets are $30 in advance
or $35 at the door.
The 1st Floor at Lowe Mill will have Rooster Tail
Graphic Designs at 5:45pm. It will be offered every
Thursday.
$20/Class/$60/Four Classes (Paid in
Advance) 256-503-0718, www.theroostertail.com
Bizarre and Unique Curiosities will be at Burritt on
the Mountain from 9am until 5pm through October
30th. There will be a variety of collectables on display
in the Burritt Mansion. www.burrittonthemountain.
com
The Exhibit, Documenting World War I & II will be at
the Tennessee Valley Museum of Art in Tuscumbia
through November 11th.The Exhibit,Steve Armstrong
14
The Huntsville Museum of Art will have the exhibit
Huntsville’s Own: Past, Present and Beyond until
October 2nd. 256-535-4350, www.hsvmuseum.org
Thursday Night Salsa will be at Bar 109 from 710:30pm. There will be a free intro to Salsa at 7pm. $5
cover charge. john.morey@QinetiQ-NA.com
The Huntsville Botanical Gardens will have
Scarecrow Trails now through October.
www.hsvbg.org or call 256-430-3571.
October 20-21
Etta May; as Dr. Etta, Family Specialist will be at
Merrimack Hall at 7:20pm. $30.
www.merrimackhall.com
October 20-23
The Renaissance Theatre presents Dracula, Lord of
the Vampires at the Main Stage at 7:30pm. Tickets are
$15. www.rennaissancetheatre.net (See ad pg.6)
Friday, October 21
Artoberfest, a fundraiser for the ArtKrewe will be
from 6-10 pm at the Huntsville Museum of Art. There
will be live music by The Charles and Grant Show,
beer tasting and ten local artists in the Artist Market.
It is $10 admission, $5 Art Krewe Members. 256-4294072.
The Limestone County Commission and Urban Success
for Children, Inc. announce the 2011 Limestone
County Oratorical Competition. The public speaking
competition is free and open to all Limestone County
residence 1st -12th the grades. It will be November
13th at 3pm at the Limestone County Event Center, in
Athens. Applications will be available at the Limestone
County Library and at the Limestone County website
thewww.huntsvilleurbannetwork.com. Applications
must be received by October 21st 256-774-1367
UAH Hockey vs. The Air Force will be at the
VBC at 7pm.
Jim Parker’s Songwriter’s Series will be at the VBC
Playhouse. Performers will be Angela Kaset, Michelle
Malone, Will Kimbrough w/ special guest Carter
Hamrick and host Jim Parker.
www.jimparkermusic.com
Fri. @ 5, at Carnegie Visual Arts Center, monthly
member receptions, will be from 5-7pm. Appetizers
and complimentary beverages will be served.
Suggested admission is $5 for Carnegie members
and $15 for non-members. www.carnegiearts.org
Directly after the Fri.@ 5 at 7:15pm downstairs at The
Carnegie, Bobby Horton performs a musical telling of
the connections between music and visual art. Because
seating is limited, reservations are recommended by
calling the Carnegie. It is $20 per person at the door.
Snacks and beverages are included.
The Redstone Officers’ and Civilians’ Club will have
Comedy Night from 6-11pm. The cost is $18. Dinner
will start at 6pm and the show begins at 7:30pm.
www.redstonemwr.com (See ad pg.17)
Brasterpieces Reception/Celebration will be at the
1st Floor Connector of Lowe Mill. Admission is free/
donations accepted. It will be from 6:30-9:30pm. Join
us for the celebration of this unique art breast cancer
fundraiser. www.lowemill.net
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VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
Sci-Quest’s Third Annual Mad Scientist’s Ball will
be from 5:30-9pm at Sci-Quest Hands on Science
Museum. Tickets are $50 per person. www.sci-quest.
org
LearningQUEST presents: Ron Harris at the HMCPL
Main Branch Library from 7-9pm. 256 532-5962
There will be a Figure Sculpting Class with Everett
Cox – Foundry at Lowe Mill. It will be from 10:30am
until 1pm. The cost is $325 (includes all materials).
everettcox@hotmail.com
There will be a Hands-on Class Photography
Workshop, in Studio 114 at Lowe Mill from 9:00am2:30pm. The cost is $189. It is a hands-on, interactive
class for photography lovers that want to capture
better pictures and improve the workflow process
that follows. suzi@loveitout.com, lowemill.net
The Little Learners’ Workshop will be at 10:30pm at
the Huntsville-Madison Public Library and will be
every Friday until October 28th. hmcpl.org
The Wild Horse Saloon will have Free Line dance
lessons at 7pm every Friday.
October 21-22
Family Fright Night will be at the Historic Lowry
House. There will be tours, ghost stories and a miniplay. The cost is $10 for adults and $5 for children 15
and under.
The tour times available are: 5:30, 6:00, 6:30, 7:00, 7:30,
and 8:00. www.thelowryhouse.com, 256- 489-9200
Schoolhouse Rock Live will be at Columbia High
School at 7:30pm. Tickets are $7 students and $10 for
adults.
October 21-23
The 28th Annual Blount County Covered Bridge
Festival will be in Oneonta, AL.
205-274-2153
The Disturbia Haunted House will be open this
weekend and all weekends in October. It is located
at 1918 N. Memorial Parkway in Huntsville. Tickets
are $20 or $30 for VIP no waiting tickets. www.
disturbiahauntedhouse.com
The Haunted Gin, a haunted attraction in
Meridianville will be open from 7pm until midnight.
events cont. on pg.15
THE VALLEY PLANET
events cont. from pg.14
The Huntsville Haunted Corn Maze will be open
from 5:00-11pm. It is located at 165 Brownsboro Rd in
Brownsboro.
Theatre Randolph presents Bad Seed, a psychological
thriller by Maxwell Anderson. It will be at the Upper
School Theatre, 4915 Garth Road, 256-799-6163, www.
showtix4u.com
The Tennessee Valley Civil War Round Table will
have,“The Road to Kennesaw - Sherman and Johnston
in North Georgia, May-June 1864” Tour. The tour
package includes transportation, admission to Picket’s
Mill, Kennesaw Mountain Shuttle, Onboard Civil War
Guide, two-night accommodations and two breakfasts.
Rates per person start at $470. 256-890-0890
The Coffee Tree Books and Brew will have a Market
Place every Saturday from 2-4pm. There will be
various vendors. www.coffeetreebnb.com, 256-8806464. (See ad pg.10)
There will be a Concert of Music for Soprano & Flute,
featuring the works of Handel, Liszt, Bach & Genzmer
with Bob Gifford, flute, Christie Weber, soprano,
Suzanne Purtee, piano and Eric Wilson, piano. The
concert is free and open to the public. It will be held
in Bibb Chapel at the Church of the Nativity.
256-533-2455.
The Huntsville Ghost Walk will begin at the Harrison
Brothers Hardware Store promptly at 6 pm. It will be
every Saturday through October. Admission is $8.00
for adults and $6.00 for children 12 and under. www.
huntsvilleghostwalk.com
There will be a Benefit for One Brick at a Time,
helping to rebuild and refill the band room at
Phil Campbell High school. It will be at Gurley’s
Soggy Bottom Music Barn in Summerville, 45 Peck
Hollow Rd. There will be live music and an auction
an will be from 11am until 5pm. 256-426-3685 The Flying Monkey Arts Center will have Your Yoga
with Casey every Saturday. The intermediate class is
at 9:45-11am. 256-679-7143, www.flyingmonkeyarts.org
The Autumn Ramble, Guided Hike Series- The
Walls of Jericho will be today from 9am-3pm. www.
landtrustnal.org
Operation Green Team is hosting Yoga by the
River every Saturday in October from 9 to 10am. Enjoy
a relaxing yet energizing morning of Yoga, taught by
Whitnye Lolley, beside the gentle flowing waters of
the Flint River in Hays Nature Preserve. 256-532-5326.
The 4th Annual Halloween Costume Salsa Party
will be at the Von Braun Center from 8:30pm until
12:30am. The cost is $20. www.salseroblanko.net
(See ad pg.4)
The Rocket City Short Film Festival will be at 7pm at
Lowe Mill. Admission is $5. It is a showcase for locally
made short films. www.lowemill.net
There will be a concert with Bob Gifford, flute and
Eric Wilson; pianist will accompany Christie Weber,
soprano in arias by Handel and Sir Henry Bishop. It will
be at 5pm at the Church of the Nativity, 208 Eustis
Ave. www.nativity.dioala.org, 256 533 2455.
The Invisible, fundraiser for Downtown Rescue
Mission will be at the 2nd Floor Connector Gallery at
Lowe Mill from 4-7pm. www.lowemill.net
camp is open to men and women ages 15-up who
need help getting in shape. myfitnesspartnershawn@
hotmail.com. The Pink Party will be in downtown Huntsville, 216
Westside Square from 6-9pm. The cost is $45 per
person. www.eventhuntsville.com
we will have a few different activities just for fun!
Admission at the door is $10.
www.parapsychologystudygroup.com 256--326-0092
The Madison City Farmers Market will be at 1282
Hughes Road in Madison.from 8am until 12pm.
The Wild Horse Saloon will have Free Couples dance
lessons at 7:30pm every Wednesday. It is for ages 19
and up. The Music Dance Hall will be open til 11pm.
October 28-29
There will be a Spooktacular Science Halloween
Party at Sci-Quest from 6-9pm. www.sciquest.org
The 1st Floor at Lowe Mill will have Joomla! Classes
with Rooster Tail Designs at 6:45pm. It will be offered
the first four Wednesdays in October. $50/Class/$150/
Four Classes (Paid in Advance) 256-503-0718,
www.theroostertail.com.
October 28-30
The Broadway Theatre League will have the New
Mel Brooks Musical, Young Frankenstein. It will be
at the Von Braun Center. Performance times are Friday
at 8pm, Saturday at 2pm and 8pm and Sunday at 2pm
and 7:30pm. http://www.broadwaytheatreleague.org
There will be an Artist Market at the Flying Monkey
Arts Center from noon until 4pm. Admission is free.
There will be art, jewelry, vintage clothing, records,
and more interesting things for sale inside the facility.
www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
October 22-23
The Fiber Guild-Garment Construction and
Finishing Techniques workshop will be in Studio 112,
Lowe Mill from 9:30am-4:30pm. Learn to be creative
with your seam finishes, buttonholes, closures, linings,
and embellishment. Bring a sewing machine and try
many of the techniques. www.lowemill.net
The Salsalabama Jam 2011 will be at the Von Braun
Center on Saturday and the Rocket City Dance Club
on Sunday. 901-605-8246, John Morey, www.salseroblanko.net/salsalabamajam.html
(See ad pg.4)
Sunday, October 23
Zydeco and Cajun dance lessons are taught every
Sunday from 6 to 8pm at the Eagles Lodge located at
Bob Wallace and 10th Street. Partners are not required.
Dance lessons start off the evening and are taught in
the round robin style. beachboy821@comcast.net
The Harris Home for Children is hosting a 5k walk/
run at the Madison County Par Course (off Johnson
Rd) on October 23 at 9am. The walk is to benefit the
Therapeutic Foster Care program.
www.harrishomeforchildren.org/
The Autumn Ramble, Guided Hike Series- Historic
Trough Springs on Monte Sano Mountain will be
today at 2-3pm. www.landtrustnal.org
Monday, October 24
The Monaco Theatre will have Movies for Moms at
11am. It is designed to provide mothers with infants
an opportunity to see one of the latest movie releases
at a great value. www.monacopicturesusa.com (See
ad pg.16)
The Huntsville Art League will have Figure Drawing
Group (non-nude), every Monday from 9 am until
noon at the HAL Gallery. http://huntsvilleartleague.
org
There will be a Women’s Mountain Bike Ride every
Monday at 5:30pm leaving from the Biker’s parking
lot. Beginners are welcome. www.bicyclesetc.us
The Flying Monkey Arts Center will have Your Yoga
with Casey every Monday in October. The beginner
class is 6-7pm. It is $14 a session or $45 for a 4 class
pass. 256-679-7143, www.flyingmonkeyarts.org
The Financial Seminar Series: Where to Invest? will
be at the HMCPL Madison Branch Library256- 4610046, madison@hmcpl.org
The Bollywood Film Series will be at the HMCPL
Madison Branch Library130 Plaza Blvd, in Madison
from 6-8pm. 256- 461-0046, madison@hmcpl.org
October 24-27
The Unexpected Boys Does Broadway will be at
Merrimack Hall. Performance times are 7pm Tuesday
and 7:30pm on Wednesday and Thursday. www.
merrimackhall.com
Bootanica will be at the Huntsville Botanical
Gardens from 10am until 2pm. There will be games,
activities and more. www.hsvbg.org
Tuesday, October 25
Face2Face Improv will be at Sam and Greg’s Pizzeria
Gelateria, every Tuesday. Admission is $5. It will be at
7:30pm. www.face2faceimprov.com
There will be a Pumpkin Planet Workshop at the US
Space and Rocket Center. It will be at 10:30am and
12pm. www.spacecamp.org
The Teens and Tweeners: Stitchy Witchery will be at
the HMCPL Tillman D. Hill Branch Library in Hazel
Green at 6pm.
The Step Out: Walk to End Diabetes will be at
Bridgestreet Town Center at 9am.
Hoop Classes 101 with Chrisha of Circle Motion
Hoops will be at the Flying Monkey Theatre from
6pm - 7:15pm, every Tuesday. The cost is $15 for a
single class and $60- for a five class card. 229-630-2508
or go to, www.flyingmonkeyarts.org
The Youth Studio: Print Your Own T-Shirt with
Rachel Lackey will be at the Green Pea Press, studio
122 Lowe Mill. The cost is $50 and is for ages 15-18. It
will be from 1-4pm. www.lowemill.net
The Huntsville Ghost Walk now adds a Haunted
Trolley Tour every Saturday night beginning at
6pm. Tickets are $12 for adults, $10 for kids 12 and
under and tickets should be purchased in advance
at Harrison Brothers Hardware This one hour tour
takes visitors past the old hanging tree, a forgotten
graveyard, an abandoned school, and much more.
www.huntsvilleghostwalk.com
MyFitnessPartner Personal Training will host a
Free Fitness Camp every Saturday in October. The
THE VALLEY PLANET
The Dance Club presents the best in ballroom
dancing every Tuesday night at Roller Time skating
rink, 707 Arcadia Circle with free lessons (East and
West Coast Swing) beginning at 7:30pm and dancing
continuing until 10:15pm. The cost is $5 for regular
and $3 for students. cpost501@earthlink.net
Wednesday, October 26
There will be a Wednesday Night Road Ride every
Wednesday at 5pm leaving from Bicycles Etc. It is a
27-30 mile one climb, usually 2 groups form. A helmet
and light are required. www.bicyclesetc
#102011110911
There will be a Peer Critique every Wednesday at
7pm at the HAL Gallery.
http://huntsvilleartleague.org
The Denise Onwere Gallery Paint ‘n Homeschoolers
Class will be in Studio 314, at Lowe Mill. It will be $35
if purchased per class, ages 8-15 years. It will be every
Wednesday and Friday through the rest of the year.
256 -322-0184, www.deniseonweregallery.com
Bette Yeager will perform parts of A Room of One’s
Own at the Huntsville Madison County Public
Library (Main Branch) at 7pm. Yeager’s program
will help celebrate Arts & Humanities month and
is sponsored by the local branch of the American
Association of University Women. Admission is free.
256-539-0723.
The Whole Backstage in Guntersville will have
Recess, the musical. Performance times are Friday at
7pm, Saturday at 2pm and 7pm and Sunday at 7pm.
Tickets are $10. 256-582-7469, www.wholebackstage.
com (See ad pg.8)
The Renaissance Theatre presents The Head that
Wouldn’t Stay Dead, the musical. It will be at the
Alpha Stage at 7:30pm and 2:30pm on Sunday. Tickets
are $15. www.rennaissancetheatre.net
The Huntsville Ballet Company presents Unplugged
at the VBC Playhouse. This exciting new series offers
ballets by outstanding cutting edge choreographers,
as well as some Huntsville Ballet classics. Ticket pricing
starts at $23.50. www.huntsvilleballetcompany.org
(See ad pg.8)
Eric Jordan the Opera Cowboy will be at the UAH
Theatre Opera Wilson Theatre at 8pm. Tickets are $5
for students and $10 non-students.
www.theater.uah.edu
Fantasy Playhouse presents, Doctor Osborn’s
Magical New Fangled Medicine Show, It will be at
the Fantasy Playhouse, located at 3312 Long Avenue.
www.letthemagicbegin.com
There will be a Halloween Party at the Madison
Public Library from 5-7pm. Come dressed in your
costumes and enjoy spooky stories, crafts and snacks.
hmcpl.org
The 3rd Annual Teen Masquerade Fae Ball will be
at the HMCPL Main Branch from 8pm until 12am.
Attendees are encouraged to come dressed as
their favorite fae creatures (faeries, elves, etc.) This
event is recommended for teens. Tickets are $10 in
advance and $15 at the door. hmcpl.org 256 532-5962
Harry Potter - The Summer Caper for families:
Burritt Mystery Game and Dinner will be at Burritt
on the Mountain from 6:30pm until 8:30pm. The cost
is $50 per person. www.burrittonthemountain.com
October 27-28
The Squidling Brothers Circus Sideshow hosted by
the Posey Peep Show, will be at the Flying Monkey
Theatre at Lowe Mill. It will be from 9-11pm.
Admission is $10. www.lowemill.net
October 27-30
The 2011 Women’s Hang Gliding Festival will be at
Lookout Mountain Flight Park, located just outside
of Chattanooga, Tennessee. The Festival is ideal for
both women who are interested in seeing what hang
gliding is all about and for pilots. There will be fun
flying competitions, clinics, reduced priced training for
our non-flying friends and family, prizes, and evening
festivities. 706-398-3541 or 1-800-688-5637 www.
hanglide.com
The Renaissance Theatre presents Dracula, Lord of
the Vampires. It will be at the Main Stage at 7:30pm.
Tickets are $15. www.rennaissancetheatre.net (See
ad pg.6)
October 27-31
The Huntsville Haunted Corn Maze will be open
from 5:00-11pm. It is located at 165 Brownsboro Rd in
Brownsboro.
The Haunted Gin, a haunted attraction in
Meridianville will be open from 7pm until midnight.
Friday, October 28
The class on How to Weave a Round Basket will
be at the HMCPL Madison Branch Library from
9am until 3pm. 256-461-0046, madison@hmcpl.org
The Junior League of Huntsville Apple Annie Day is
today at various locations. www.jlhuntsville.com
The HYP Halloween Party will be at Mason’s in
downtown Huntsville. Tickets are $15. There will be
music provided by Metropolitan DJ. www.gethyp.net
The Consul will be at the UAH Theatre Opera Wilson
Theatre at 7pm. Tickets are $5 for students and $10
non-students. It will also be on Sunday at 7pm. www.
theater.uah.edu
Chanticleer, presented by the Huntsville Chamber
Music Guild will be at Trinity United Methodist
Church at 7:30pm. www.hcmg.us
Save the Tatas Bachachasalsa Social will be at the
Madison Ballroom, located at 9076 Madison Blvd. It
will be from 8pm until midnight. The cost is $5. john.
morey@QinetiQ-NA.com The Paranormal Study Center will meet for Freaky
Friday at 6:30pm at the Radisson Hotel in the
Olympus Room. For our “Before Halloween” special,
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
The Annual North Alabama International Festival
will be in the Atrium and open-air Courtyard of the
Shelby Center for Science and Technology, just off
North Loop Road on the UAHuntsville Campus. The
event is free and takes place from 10am until 4pm.
256- 824-6432, ongb@uah.edu.
There will be a Pumpkin Planet Workshop at the US
Space and Rocket Center
from 10:30am and 12pm. www.spacecamp.org
The Spooktacular 5K/1 Mile Boo Run will be in
downtown Huntsville at 8am.
Mud-Slingin’, Music, and More will be at Fredricks
Equipment and Fredricks Marine in Priceville. The
first annual Muddin’ at the Farm Pro-Am Mud Race
and Concert promises lots of mud, live music, special
sales and pricing in a family-friendly atmosphere. It
will be at 2pm and registration will be at 9am. At 6pm
Ryan Couron will be performing with special guest
Randy Houser. Admission is $25 per person for an allday pass which includes the mud race and concerts.
www.fredricksequipment.com, 256.340.8899
There will a concert by pianist, Menahem Pressler,
at Trinity United Methodist Church at 5pm. 256489-7415
The Falkville Fall Festival, sponsored by the Falkville
Volunteer Fire Department and the Town of Falkville,
offers free pancakes, a car and tractor show, children’s
activities, arts and crafts, and more culminating with
country rock band Confederate Railroad live in concert.
All activities take place in the town’s downtown area.
It will be from 7am until 3pm. There will be live music
with Dusty Winsett Band followed by Confederate
Railroad. www.decaturcvb.org. Spooky Movies on the Green will be at 6pm at
the HMCPL Tillman D. Hill Branch Library in Hazel
Green.
The Irish Society of North Alabama Halloween Ceili
will be at Lowe Mill from 6:30- 9:30pm. Admission is
$5 per person or $15 per family of 3 or more. A ceili is
a traditional Irish dance event much like the American
square dance. There will be costume contests and
raffles, live music, and all ages are welcome.
www.lowemill.net
The HSDS Halloween Costume Bash with Microwave
Dave will be at the Flying Monkey Theatre, Lowe Mill
from 7-11pm. Admission is $10 general and $7 for
students. www.flyingmonkey.org
Beaters, Bands and Burritos, a Car Show and
line up of live music will begin at 2pm in Historic
Downtown Madison. (208 Main Street) Cracker
Jacks, The Barnstormers, Pickin’ Addiction, The Pollies,
events cont. on pg.16
15
and Traditional Bobbers and Choppers, Pre - 72,
Traditional Hot Rods and Customs Only. 256 431-3562
(See ad pg. 13)
Sunday, October 30
DRAW! Presented by the K.I.D. Artist Collective, will be
at the Flying Monkey Arts Center from 2pm-4pm.
Admission is $5. Practice drawing live models with
interesting outfits. www.flyingmonkey.org
The Zombie Walk will be at 3pm in downtown
Huntsville.
Monday, October 31
until 1pm. everettcox@hotmail.com, www.lowemill.
net
Trunk or Treat Pumpkinpalooza will be at the First
Baptist Church of Merdianville at 6pm.
There will be a Spooktacular Halloween Celebration
at the Huntsville Public Library (Main). The Youth
Services department will also host some not-toospooky Halloween stories, fun and games. Make sure
your little Trick or Treaters wear their costumes. There
will be two different times 10am-12pm and 4-6pm.
hmcpl.org
Tuesday, November 1
The Business Expo will be at the Von Braun Center
from 12-5pm. It is open to the public, free small
business training classes hosted by the WBCNA,
Door-Prizes given away every hour, plus hundreds
of companies with which to network and grow your
business.
until 9pm. everettcox@hotmail.com, www.lowemill.
net
The K.I.D. Collective Artist Critique will be in Studio
204 Lowe Mill. It is from 7-9pm and is free admission.
Open to all visual artists. Bring an open mind. 256-5096545.
HAL5 (Huntsville AL L5 Society) will host a free
public lecture at the Huntsville - Madison County
Main Public Library at 7 pm. Dr. Philip Stalh of NASA
MSFC will present a “Status on the James Webb Space
Telescope.” The event is free and open to the public.
www.HAL5.org
The Princess Theatre presents The Secret Sisters at
7:30p.m. The concert celebrates the Year of Alabama
Music. Admission is $29-$20. 256-340-1778 or www.
princesstheatre.org
The Ride for Relief will be at Mickey’s Upstairs/Bar
109 from 5:30-6:30pm. Admission is $5.
There will be a Strictly Salsa Social and Free Salsa
101 Class at the Madison Ballroom Dance Studio at
7pm.
The 25th Annual Vive Le Livre will be at the Von Braun
Center North Hall. www.huntsvillelibraryfoundation.
org
November 3-4
The Merrimack Hall will have Mandy Barnett Live
in Concert: Featuring a Tribute to Patsy Cline at
7:30pm. $30. www.merrimackhall.com
November 3-6
The Renaissance Theatre presents The Head that
Wouldn’t Stay Dead, the musical at the Alpha
Stage at 7:30pm and 2:30pm on Sunday. $15. www.
rennaissancetheatre.net (See ad pg 6)
Friday, November 4
The Flying Monkey Theatre will have Monkey Speak
at 8pm. Admission is $5. Monkeyspeak is an exciting
spoken word open-mic night held the first Friday of
every month. www.flyingmonkeyarts.org
Jim Parker’s Songwriter’s Series will be at the VBC
Playhouse. Performers will be
Jerry Salley, Carl Jackson, Larry Cordle and host Jim
Parker. www.jimparkermusic.com
UAH Hockey vs. Ohio State will be at the VBC at
7pm.
Santa Smiles Mini-Portrait Sessions will be in Studio
114, at Lowe Mill from 1-5pm. They are scheduling
appointments for a limited number of sessions. suzi@
loveitout.com or lowemill.net
There will be a Huntsville Master Chorale Concert at
First Presbyterian Church in Huntsville at 7pm.
16
There will be Sacred Harp Playing at Burritt on the
Mountain from 7-8pm. www.burrittonthemountain.
com
November 4-5
Ars Nova presents, Disney’s Aladdin Jr. at Trinity
Methodist Church in Huntsville. Tickets are $10. 256883-1105 November 4-6
The 27th Annual under the Christmas Tree Market
will be held at the VBC South Hall. 256-799-6105
There will be a Contra Dance in the gym of Faith
Presbyterian Church at the corner of Airport and
Whitesburg Drive.There will be live music by Crosstown
Traffic and calling by Gary Nelson. It is from 7:30 until
10:30pm. Lessons begin at 7pm. Admission is $7 and
$4 for students, children under 12 are free. 256-8370656, http://secontra.com/NACDS.html
The Liz Wagget Memorial 5K Fun Run/Walk will be
in downtown Huntsville at the Beason and Nalley
parking lot. $25. It will be from 8-1pm. www.raceforliz.
org
The Huntsville Symphony Orchestra presents,
Opus Tadpole at the VBC Concert Hall. It is from
10:15-10:45am. This event is free. www.hso.org
The Hawk 5K will begin at the Huntsville Museum
of Art at 8am.
Sci-Quest, Hands-on Science Center will host
Parents’ Night Out from 5:30 until 9pm. This event is
for children ages 4-12. 256-837-0606, www.sci-quest.
org.
Smooth Vibrations, a benefit concert, featuring
Brian Simpson will be from 8-11pm at the Heritage
Club. Tickets start at $35 per person.www.eventbrite.
com, 256-679-4251 (See ad pg.7)
Sunday, November 6
The Film Co-op monthly workshop will meet in
Don’s Studio (Studio 264, 2nd Floor) at the Lowe Mill
from 2-4pm. Free. www.filmcoop.org
Monday, November 7
Stars will light up the night for the HEALS clinics again
this fall! Seven new “stars” of the Huntsville/Madison
County community have been selected to perform
and raise funds for the local non-profit organization at
the 5th Annual Stars Dancing for HEALS gala event
presented by Venturi, Inc. Individual tickets are $125. It
will be he VBC Propst Arena. twww.healsinc.org
Huntsville’s first Irons Cup Golf Tournament will
be a four-man scramble where Alabama teams and
Auburn teams compete on the Ledges Golf Course
to win the title of Irons Cup Champions. The Irons Cup
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VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
Trophy will be on display year-round at The Ledges
awaiting the champs to defend their title next tourney.
The tournament will benefit UPC of Huntsville. www.
ucphuntsville.org
November 9-10
Henry Cho will be at Merrimack Hall from 8-10pm. www.merrimackhall.com
The Tennessee Valley Civil War Round Table will have
“Joseph “Fightin’ Joe” Wheeler, Confederate Lieutenant
General by Luke Slaton. It will be at 6:30pm at the
Elks Lodge, in Huntsville. There is an optional chicken
buffet at 5:30pm for $8.95. 256-539-5287
November 10-13
The annual Cotton Cluster Dog Shows will be at
the Morgan County Celebration Arena located on
Highway 67 East in Decatur. Spectators are welcome
to attend. www.DAKC.org, www.akc.org.
Friday, November 11
Salsa Prom Night (second chance prom) will be at the
Heritage Club at Bridgestreet Town Center. It will be
from 9pm until midnight. DJ Greene from Virginia will
be there. john.morey@QinetiQ-NA.com events cont. on pg.17
THE VALLEY PLANET
Huntsville Hero’s Half Marathon will be at 8am
at Hillwood Baptist Church at 300 Kohler Road in
Huntsville.
Huntsville’s Annual Veteran’s Day Parade will be
today at 11am in downtown Huntsville.
November 11-13th
Sordid Lives, presented by Theatre Huntsville will be
at the Von Braun Center Playhouse. It will be Friday
and Saturday at 7:30pm and Sunday at 2pm. www.
yourseatiswaiting.org
The Alabama A&M Bulldogs vs. Jackson State
University football game will be at the Lewis Crews
Stadium, at Alabama A&M at 1pm. www.aamusports.
com
at the Von Braun Center Playhouse. It will be Friday
and Saturday at 7:30pm and Sunday at 2pm. www.
yourseatiswaiting.org
November 18-20
The Broadway Theatre League will have the Shrek,
the musical. It will be at the Von Braun Center.
Performance times are Friday at 8pm, Saturday at 2pm
and 8pm and Sunday at 2pm and 7:30pm. http://www.
broadwaytheatreleague.org
The Academy Children’s Theatre presents Honk! Performance times are 7pm tonight and Monday,
November 21st. The cost is $5 per student and $7.50
per adult. 256-479-5360, bkbecher@knology.net
Sunday, November 13
The 2011 Limestone County Oratorical Competition
will be at the Limestone County Event Center, in
Athens at 3pm. thewww.huntsvilleurbannetwork.
com, 256-774-1367
The 3rd Annual Krispy Kreme Challenge will be
at 8am and begin at Blossomwood (former East
Clinton) Elementary School campus, located at 200
White Street. The Challenge: Run 2 miles from the
start line in beautiful downtown Huntsville to Krispy
Kreme on North Memorial Parkway; Eat 1 dozen
doughnuts; Run 2 miles back to the finish line, all in
one hour. www.imAthlete.com,
www.ucphuntsville.org (See ad pg.5)
November 17-19
Sordid Lives, presented by Theatre Huntsville will be
the end!
Unemployed
in Huntsville
elbows in a bucket of Germ-X just because they
walk out of Wal-Mart or pet their dog. I suppose
white collar phobics who sit in front of a computer
all day have more time to do, well, what I’m
doing now. Surfing the Internet and reading about
germs instead of performing a useful function. As
by Shawn Bailey
exemplified by any conspiracy theorist, the more
information you have about anything, the more
et me say right off that I generally have no paranoid and delusional you will become. Talk to
problem with people washing their hands. a person in charge of counterterrorism and you’ll
There are many cases where cleaning never open a piece of mail or ride a bus again.
one’s hands is a mandate. Like the doctor after Talk to someone at the CDC for a couple of hours
he gives you a prostate exam. After a particularly and you’ll feel your throat swelling shut every
productive sneeze, assuming you use your hands time someone coughs in your vicinity.
like a human and don’t do that vampire-looking
thing where you explode into the bend of your But even if being over-informed is to blame for
arm. Or after you check the oil or change a tire. this delusional behavior, that doesn’t explain why
It all makes sense. As long as you perform these they wash their hands first. I could see scrubbing
actions in a certain order.
them after the fact until they turn red and blister,
but doing it prior makes no sense. Germs usually
You wouldn’t eat your pizza or fried chicken and enter the body through openings, hand to mouth in
then think, “I should have washed my hands after general. I don’t see someone infecting that body
changing junior’s diaper.” You wouldn’t wash part with bacteria from common office equipment.
your hands to go work in the yard. There is an I can hear the doctor now: “I’m sorry to have to
order here that makes sense.
tell you this Mr. Bailey, but it looks like you have
an acute keyboard infection on your penis.”
That’s why it disturbs me that there appear to be a
good many people out there who are washing their The Mayo Clinic, the CDC, the WHO-- they
hands before they use the bathroom. It would be all give the same advice on when to wash your
easy for you to say at this point, what does it hurt? hands. After using the restroom. Never do they
I’ll tell you. My brain.
say before.
L
It is a completely useless action and lacks any ties
to reason or prudent judgment. They are snubbing
rationality. They are obviously confused with
respect to the linear flow of time and the very
essence of cause and effect. I question the very
soul of any individual performing this flawed and
unusual action. Just to be clear, I would not let a
doctor operate on me who washed his hands before
using the bathroom. Why you say? Someone that
confused as to the order of things could possibly
sew me up first and then remove my appendix.
They might prescribe me a medicine and then
send my blood off to be tested. I think they do
this anyway.
I am also concerned that these Firsties will, like all
deranged people who are infected with extraneous
and afflicted ideas, eventually carry this on to the
next level. I don’t wish to enter the bathroom to
find a colleague scrubbing his junk in the sink
like Meryl Streep in Silkwood. Or perhaps, since
urine is acidic and actually kills bacteria, find the
same person wetting their hands down thoroughly
in front of the urinal. It has to stop.
I’ll do my part by leaving these conspiracy theorists
with some useless and harmless information
they can be paranoid about and then misapply to
their philosophies with deformed logic. Some
soaps have been shown to cause irritation to the
Don’t get me wrong, these people are still washing urethra. This can make it easier for bacteria to
their hands after they do number one, and I don’t get inside your body and proliferate. Once the
have a beef with that. And if you are laying asphalt bacteria are inside your body, they will multiply
for a road crew, I’m not suggesting you run to the at a geometric rate inside your bladder. These are
Porto-Pottie and wrap molten tar around your infectious living things that will be living inside
gold-member without washing first, but that’s an of you. And the only way a doctor can remove
anomaly. The people I see doing this are in offices them at this point is with a Q-Tip and a pair of
and cubicles. It seems common sense that blue tweezers.
collar workers, people who pulp wood, work in iron
shops, fix cars, and are generally knee deep in the Signed Unemployed (with dirty hands) in
grit and grime of everyday living, would actually Huntsville
be less inclined to OCD tendencies concerning
cleanliness than someone who doesn’t know how
to check their transmission fluid. They are less
paranoid. They don’t submerse their arms to the
THE VALLEY PLANET
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VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
17
W
e are all born into a pre-made
civilization. Think of it as chicken
divan your host made the night before
and put in the freezer. It was already made when
you got there.
It’s the same for all babies. We are born into a
chicken divan world, if you will, and it doesn’t
matter if we like chicken divan or not. That’s
what’s being served up.
We can’t just scrape civilization away and start
over. I would love to start over with “babies,” who
would start fresh with their own ideas--like not
even having chicken divan, at all! Maybe Mayo
It’s not a “bad” thing we babies do. We just tend to would never be invented! Or cars, those silly
accept the world our parents, as babies, accepted boxes with wheels we think are so grand. But,
when they arrived into their pre-made world, who would feed these babies in the beginning,
whether it was a slum, a fenced-in reservation, burp them, change their diapers, keep them out of
a suburb, a bustling city, or a room in the White the poison ivy?
House.
If a global disaster left “some older children,”
If our pre-made world was serving up racism, do you think we could think new ideas and start
more than likely, we grew up as racists; or if our afresh? After teaching Lord of the Flies forever, I
pre-made world was serving up unbridled greed, think human beings are so “variable” under duress,
we grew up like some charge card company’s that any “new civilization” would end up with
CEO; or if it was serving yak butter in the compassionate people; people with a plan; victims;
Himalayas, we grew up humble and cold, and tyrants and their henchmen--the suspicious; dimwith compassion for others who are cold and have witted; inventive; just and unjust; peacemakers-to drink yak butter. Or maybe, most likely, we honest idealists; sociopaths; pedants; politicians,
just accepted it as our pre-made world.
thinkers--“yes men,” hedonists; blind followers;
teachers; learners; the helpless; defenders-The civilization I was born into thought yellow explorers; exploiters; dreamers and visionaries;
and white Chevrolets were wonderful. There hunters and harvesters; builders. Many “just-lost”
was nothing wrong with having a gas-guzzling people would wander off into meadows--if any
car. That term--“gas-guzzling”--wasn’t around in were left--never to be seen again.
my parents’ pre-made world; gas was cheap and
endless. When I became a teenager, my parents To add to the problem of human variability, it isn’t
bought me a very used, 1956 pale green Cadillac, always easy to distinguish the bad from the good
as long as a street block. I never thought about of our pre-made world. Some of the “good” ways
mileage or the “black stuff” that came from could be lost.
Cad’s muffler, only the embarrassment of driving
something with fins that also looked like a float My Grandmother Gibbs, my paternal grandmotherin a parade.
-daughter of Sarah Painter, half-Cherokee--always
bathed from a pan, just as her mother had. When
Every generation of civilization passes on its Granddaddy Gibbs had enough money, he installed
ignorant ways, as well as its knowledge, depending an “indoor bathroom” for my grandmother;
on several things: parents who question chicken but she just filled the tub with towels, laundry
divan and teach their children to question and detergent, and stacks of books and magazines.
think; teachers who don’t accept everything about It drove my Granddaddy to near-madness. My
the world into which they showed up one day; great-grandmother had told my grandmother that
and, also, how much thinking for oneself is valued if she got into the tub, when she let the water out,
by the newborns. And the value of thinking for her spirit might go down that hole (drain) to “whooneself has a lot to do with parents and teachers. knows-where”? When one bathes in a pan or a
(Very confusing. Which came first? The chicken stream, when one returns the soil of one’s body to
divan or the egg?)
earth, there is no doubt.
Every generation passes on its rulers, its rabble,
its intellectual elite, its rebels, its haters, its
healers. But very few question why they are
eating chicken divan. Who first came up with
that recipe? Who named it? I would have
called it “very-fattening-with-lots-of-Mayocream-of-chicken-soup-straight-from-the-canfresh-pieces-of-tender-steamed-chicken-breaststeamed-broccoli-cheese-and-bread-crumbs-ontop-baked-in-the-oven-at-350-until-it-bubblesaround-the-edges-yummy.” I’m verbal, and I
like to know ingredients. But I was a baby, and
nobody asked me what I thought. It was a donedeal by the time I got around to chicken divan.
ReLit: Smokin’ Good
Reads Worth a
ReKindle – The
Necroscope Trilogy
by
Brian Lumley
by Rick Thomason
F
or the horror reader with an IQ above room
temperature, there are much better reads out
there than the Twilight series with the ditzy
dimbulb Dum-Bella. If you are tired of her cold-asa-one-stick–popsicle-dicked vampire (who makes
Richard Simmons look like Hulk Hogan in the Man
Club), and a big Indian wolf that prefers it all doggy
style, there is one good series on the subject that I
found superior even to Anne Rice’s work before she
was Jesus bitten.
It’s not literature, but sometimes we all like our entertainment a little on the trashy side. You won’t be
bored, I’ll assure you. All books are available used
for 1 cent each, plus $3.99 S&H via Amazon.
18
Why don’t we question the world we were born
into? Would we take just any cheap motel room
without checking out the sheets for bedbugs?
Vol. 1 – The Necroscope
Vol. 2 - Vamphyri
In the Balkan mountains of Rumania, a terrible
evil is growing. Long buried in hallowed ground,
bound by earth and silver, the master vampire
schemes and plots. Trapped in unlife, neither dead
nor living, Thibor Ferenczy hungers for freedom
and revenge.
Not the end of life, Harry Keogh discovered-and not the end of his battle against the terrible
evil of vampires. In a secluded English village,
Yulian Bodescu plots his takeover of the world.
Imbued with a vampire’s powers before his birth,
Bodescu rules men’s minds and bodies with supernatural ease. He is secretly creating an army of
vampiric monsters, things that once were men but
were now walking masses of destructive hunger.
The vampire’s human tool is Boris Dragosani, part
of a super-secret Soviet spy agency. Dragosani is
an avid pupil, eager to plumb the depthless evil of
the vampire’s mind. Ferenczy teaches Dragosani
the awful skills of the necromancer and gives him
the ability to rip secrets from the mind and bodies
of the dead.
Dragosani works not for Ferenczy’s freedom but
world domination. He will rule the world with
knowledge raped from the dead. His only opponent: Harry Koegh, champion of the dead and
the living. To protect Harry, the dead will do anything--even rise from their graves.
Harry Keogh, Necroscope, thought that the war
with the vampires had ended with the destruction
of Boris Dragasani--and of Harry’s body! But the
man who talks to the dead lives on, more powerful than ever, able to transport himself instantly to
any spot on the globe and to speak mind-to-mind
with both the living and the dead. Are Harry’s
new powers enough to defeat Yulian Bodescu and
his legion of monsters, or will the vampire army
overrun the living earth?
Vol. 3- The Source
The third book in the Necroscope series traces the
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VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
Who’s to say that was right or wrong? No
matter what one’s spiritual beliefs might be, my
grandmother saved a lot of water, and “ringaround-the-tub” never troubled my grandmother,
who had enough troubles as it was.
Because of human variability, through genetics, bad
parenting, or duress, and the lack of questioning
of our pre-made or current civilization--which
includes my great-grandmother’s bathing in a
creek or pan; and the invention of a recipe called
“chicken divan,” neither of which I had anything
to do with--lasting change takes generations and
generations of questioners to bring about. The
more we question the pre-made world, the more
we, ourselves, at least, can make positive and
lasting changes within ourselves.
battle between Harry Keogh and the horrifying
Vamphyri on their home ground, an alien landscape of looming towers, impossible cliffs and
ravenous vampire-beasts.
Russia’s Ural Mountains hide a deadly secret:
a supernatural portal to the country of the vampires. Soviet scientists and ESP-powered spies, in
a secret military base, study the portal--and the
powerfully evil creatures that emerge from it--intent on ravaging mankind. When Jazz Simmons, a
British agent sent to infiltrate the base, is captured
by the KGB espionage squad and forced through
the portal, his last message tells Harry Keogh, the
Necroscope, that the vampires are preparing for a
mass invasion.
Harry has only one option--to strike first. He must
carry the human-vampire war to the vampires’
own lands. But his strongest psychic power will
be useless there. What good is the power to summon the dead in a country where nothing ever
dies, where every man, woman, and child become
half-dead servants of the Vamphyri?
THE VALLEY PLANET
elevates the interior sounds of the body (such as
heartbeat and the “friction” of muscles moving
against muscles) to disturbing levels.
Artificial meat (grown in a test tube from animal
stem cells) has been theoretically planned for
about 10 years, but a European Science Foundation audience in September heard predictions
that lab-grown sausage might be available as
soon as next year. The meat is produced in sheets
(“shmeat”) and would be prohibitively expensive
at first, in that the largest specimen produced so
far measures only about one inch long and a third
of an inch wide. The biggest drawback facing artificial muscle tissue: that even lab-grown muscles
require exercise to prevent atrophy.
by Chuck Shepherd
London Fashion Week usually brings forth a
shock or two from cutting-edge designers, but a
September creation by Rachel Freire might have
raised the bar: a floor-length dress made from
3,000 cow nipples (designed to resemble roses).
Initial disgust for the garment centered on implied
animal abuse, but Freire deflected that issue by
pointing out that the nipples had been discarded
by a tannery and that her use amounted to “recycling.” The 32-year-old Freire, who has worked
with mainstream entertainers such as Christina
Aguilera, was kept so busy with the animal-abuse
angle that she was largely spared having to explain another issue -- why anyone would want to
wear a dress made with cow nipples.
The Entrepreneurial Spirit!
Death is big business in Japan, with 1.2 million
people a year passing away and overtaxing the
country’s cemeteries and crematoriums. With
the average wait for disposal at least several
days, and space running short in funeral homes,
“corpse hotels” have opened in many cities, with
climate-controlled “guest rooms” renting for the
equivalent of about $155 a night, with viewing
rooms where relatives can visit the bodies daily
until cremation is available.
The world’s real economy may be flagging, but
not necessarily the make-believe economy of online multiplayer games, according to reporting by
The Wall Street Journal (July) and the website
Singularity Hub (August). For example, entrepreneur Ailin Graef’s Anshe Chung Studios is worth
“millions” of real U.S. dollars, earned mostly by
managing rentals of make-believe real estate and
brokering make-believe money transactions in
the game Second Life. Graef also commands top
(real) dollar for her designs of make-believe fashions for players’ game characters (avatars). Two
other companies are suing each other in federal
court in San Francisco over the copyright to their
lucrative business models of creating make-believe animals (horses, rabbits) that sell very well
to players who take them on as game pets for their
characters or breed them to make other make-believe animals.
No sooner had Anthony Sowell been convicted
in August of murdering 11 women in Cleveland
and burying their remains around his property
than entrepreneur Eric Gein of Florida had hired
someone to fill sandwich bags of soil from Sowell’s property so that he could sell the souvenir
dirt for $25 a gram on the Internet. (Gein follows
well-publicized salesmen who have famously
collected the pubic hair of New York prostitutekiller Arthur Shawcross, the crawlspace dirt from
the house of John Wayne Gacy, and the “fried
hair” of Ted Bundy -- that fell on the floor as he
was executed.)
Weird Science
In July, a surgeon from Britain’s Oxford Radcliffe
Hospital announced a cure for a 57-year-old man
with a rare condition that made, in his mind, audible and ever-louder sounds whenever his eyeballs
moved. “Superior canal dehiscence syndrome”
THE VALLEY PLANET
Recent Alarming Headlines: (1) “Miami Invaded
by Giant, House-Eating Snails” (up-to-10-inchlong snails that attach to, and slowly gnaw on,
stucco walls). (2) “Scientists Develop Blood
Swimming ‘Microspiders’ to Heal Injuries, Deliver Drugs” (spider-like “machines,” made of
gold and silica, smaller than a red blood cell yet
which can travel through veins carrying drugs and
be directionally controlled by researchers).
In an art-science collaboration in August, Dutch
artist Jalila Essaidi and Utah State researcher
Randy Lewis produced a prototype bulletproof
skin -- or at least skin that would limit a .22-caliber bullet to only about 2 inches’ penetration into
a simulated human body. Genetically engineered
spider silk (reputed to be five times stronger than
steel) was grafted between layers of dermis and
epidermis. Mused Essaidi, we “in the near future
... (may) no longer need to descend from a godly
bloodline in order to have traits like invulnerability....”
Leading Economic Indicators
Turned down once before, liquor manufacturer
EFAG convinced Germany’s Federal Patent Court
in September to award trademark protection to its
schnapps with the brand name Ficken, which in
German translates directly into what in English
is known as the F word. The court acknowledged
that the name is unquestionably in poor taste but
is not “sexually discriminatory” and does not violate public morals. In fact, the court noted, the
word is widely used in Germany. (In March 2010,
the European Union trademarks authority granted
a German brewery the right to call its beer “Fucking Hell” -- the first word of which is the actual
name of an Austrian village and the second a German word referring to light ale.)
DMV Is a Dangerous Place
The Department of Motor Vehicles office in Roseville, Calif., was closed for a week in July after
a driving school student crashed into the building
and left a five-foot hole in the wall.
A young man taking a test at the drivers’ center
in Brisbane, Australia, in August lost control of
his vehicle and crashed into a bench outside the
building, hitting his mother, who was waiting for
him.
A 56-year-old DMV driving tester was killed in
July when the woman she was evaluating ran off
the road in Williamsburg, Va., and struck a tree.
People With Issues
In October, a court in Ottawa, Ontario, sentenced
pornography collector Richard Osborn, 46, to
a year in jail on several charges, but dismissed
the more serious child porn counts. Judge Robert
Fournier ruled that Osborn’s hard-core images of
Bart and Lisa Simpson, and Milhouse, were not
illegal, on the grounds that he could not be sure of
the characters’ ages. (Baby Maggie Simpson was
depicted, but she was not involved in sex.) Judge
Fournier was clearly exasperated at Osborn’s perversions, among them his homemade video of
swimsuit-clad youngsters, interspersed with shots
of Osborn himself masturbating, aided by a Cabbage Patch doll whose mouth had been cut open.
At one point, a disgusted Judge Fournier cut off
the presentation of evidence. “Enough,” he said.
“We are not paid by the taxpayers to sit here and
torture ourselves.”
#102011110911
Least Competent Criminals
One would think the robber of a gas station would
consider filling the tank before fleeing. However,
Moses Gift, 47, was arrested in September in Winston-Salem, N.C., and charged with robbing the
Huff Shell station -- shortly before running out
of gas a short distance away. And in Winder, Ga.,
Micah Mitchell was arrested in October shortly
after, according to police, he crashed through the
front door of a BP station to steal merchandise.
He was arrested minutes later a few miles from
the station, where he had run out of gas.
Bureaucrat’s Delight: An update of the official
index for classifying medical conditions (for
research and quality control, and for insurance
claims) was released recently, to take effect in
October 2013, and replaced the current 18,000
codes with 140,000 much more specific ones. A
September Wall Street Journal report noted, for
example, 72 different codes for injuries involving
birds, depending on the type. “Bitten by turtle”
is different from “struck by turtle.” Different
codes cover injuries in “opera houses,” on squash
courts, and exactly where in or around a mobile
home an injury occurred. “Walked into lamppost,
initial encounter” is distinct from “walked into
lamppost, subsequent encounter.” Codes cover
conditions stemming from encounters with extraterrestrials and conditions resulting from “burn
due to water skis on fire.” “Bizarre personal appearance” has a code, as well as “very low level
of personal hygiene.”
Ironies
A small number of environmental and animal
rights activists employ violence and physical
threats in attempts to achieve their goals, and
similar tactics have recently been used by another
group bent on intimidating scientists: sufferers of
“chronic fatigue syndrome.” London’s Observer
reported in August that medical researchers who
even suggest that the illness might have a “psychological” component have been subject to vitriolic abuse, stalking, disruptions to the scientists’
workplaces, and even death threats. In at least one
case, the activists succeeded: A psychiatry professor said he had moved his area of research from
chronic fatigue to Gulf War syndrome. “That has
taken me to Iraq and Afghanistan where ... I feel
a lot safer.”
Political Correctness Lives: British authorities
threatened Iain Turnbull, 63, with a fine (equivalent of $1,530) in August because he refused to
complete the mandatory census earlier this year.
Turnbull, from Wales, was protesting that the
government, intending to be progressively “inclusive,” made available census questionnaires and
instructions in such languages as Urdu, Punjabi
and Tagalog -- but not Welsh (one of Britain’s
native languages, spoken by a half-million citizens).
Although the Patriot Act, drafted in the days after 9-11 and quickly enacted into law, was designed expressly to give prosecutors more leeway
to challenge suspected terrorism, one of its key
provisions has since then been used more than
100 times as often for drug investigations as for
terrorism. New York magazine reported in September that “sneak and peek” warrants (enabling
searches without notifying the targets) have been
obtained only 15 times for terrorism threats but
1,618 times in drug cases.
The Litigious Society
In 2009 Diane Schuler, with a 0.19 blood-alcohol
reading (and marijuana in her system), drove the
wrong way for two miles on a New York freeway,
finally crashing into another car, killing three people and herself. In July 2011, her widower, Dave
Schuler, filed a lawsuit against the state, alleging
that the collision was the state’s fault for not posting signs warning motorists like Diane Schuler
that they were going the wrong way. (Dave
Schuler’s own private investigator told The Daily
Cortlandt newspaper that he tried to discourage
Schuler from filing the lawsuit, to no avail.)
“(My) client was devastated by what happened,”
said the lawyer for Jean Pierre in announcing
Pierre’s $80 million lawsuit in August against the
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
city of Newburgh, N.Y. Pierre’s estranged girlfriend had committed suicide by driving into a
city lake, taking the couple’s three small children
to their deaths, also. In the time before he became
devastated, Pierre had been arrested for failure to
pay child support and for endangering one of his
children (found wandering the street in freezing
weather on a Super Bowl Sunday), and friends of
his girlfriend told the New York Post that Pierre
constantly abused her, including immediately before her final drive.
Chicago’s WLS Radio reported that a man (unnamed in the story) filed a $600,000 lawsuit on
Sept. 2 against the Grossinger City Autoplex in
the city, claiming that five employees had physically harassed him during business hours over a
two-month period in 2009. Included was the man’s
claim that he had been given multiple “wedgies,”
one of which was a “hanging” wedgie.
Compelling Explanations
Cicero, Ill., Town President Larry Dominick, the
defendant in sexual harassment lawsuits filed by
two female employees, gave depositions in the
cases, in March 2009 and February 2011, but provided challenging answers on one issue. Asked in
2009 whether he had “ever touched” the plaintiff,
Dominick, under oath, said “No.” However, in
2011, Dominick (again under oath) gave a narrative of his relationship with the same plaintiff
beginning in 2005, admitting that he had had sex
with her numerous times at her home. (Dominick
claimed to have misinterpreted the earlier question.)
Unclear on the Concept:
Pennsylvania state Rep. Michael Sturla, an opponent of increased natural-gas drilling in his
district, warned in August that one effect of the
drilling would be an increase of sexually transmitted diseases “amongst the womenfolk.” (He
said later that he had heard that from a hospital
administrator.)
Nicholas Davis was arrested in a public park in
Seattle in August while, according to a police officer, “masturbating violently.” The officer said
Davis explained, “There just isn’t enough free
love in Seattle.”
Creme de la Weird
A female Wisconsin prison chaplain was charged
in September with several crimes in an alleged
attempt to stage a fake hostage situation with an
inmate for the purpose of gaining transfers of
both to another prison in the state. Prosecutors
said the chaplain, a Wiccan priest named Jamyi
Witch, 52, instructed the inmate at Oshkosh Correctional Institution to come to her office, barricade the door, throw things around the room, and
role-play with Witch as if she were his mother.
While the office was under siege, the pair allegedly had consensual sex, and Witch supplied the
man with drugs and sang him lullabies, supposedly to calm him down, ending the drama (until
charges were filed).
Least Competent Criminals
Anthony Watson, sentenced to prison in 1992 for
crimes that included rape and robbery, became a
notorious jailhouse lawyer (even drafting a book,
“A Guide to the Plea Circus”) and through successful challenges had reduced his 160-year sentence to 26 -- and a release date of 2018. However, he filed one appeal too many. A court ruled
in his favor on that final appeal and ordered a new
trial altogether (vacating the convictions and sentence but also the reductions Watson had worked
so hard for). At the retrial in March 2011, he was
found guilty again and this time sentenced to four
consecutive life terms.
Send your Weird News to
WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com
or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.
COPYRIGHT 2006
CHUCK SHEPHERD
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
© Copyright 2011 Rob Brezsny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): If you have been resisting the command to go deeper, now is the time to surrender. If
you have been hoping that the pesky little voice in your head will shut up and stop bugging you to get more involved,
you’d better stop hoping. If you’ve been fantasizing about how to escape the growing pressure to give more of
yourself, I suggest that instead you fantasize about how you could intensify your commitments. The time has come
to explore what has been missing and what needs more love.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Did you know it is illegal to break into prison? That was the charge leveled against a
Georgia man, Harry Jackson, who was arrested as he tried to sneak back into the jail from which he had escaped only
a short time before. During his brief taste of freedom, Jackson allegedly stole 14 packs of cigarettes from a nearby
store. Maybe that was his intention from the beginning -- to do an errand and return “home.” Please don’t be like
him in the coming weeks, Taurus. If you do manage to spring yourself from a trap or bust out of your servitude (and
I expect you will do just that), don’t come crawling back later and beg to be allowed back in.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): As I was meditating on your horoscope this afternoon, I gazed out my window at the
creek flowing nearby. The tide was coming in, which meant that the current was surging swiftly south. Row upon
row of small waves were coursing through the water. Then I spied a lone duck swimming north against the tide.
I couldn’t imagine what her motivation was. Why not just relax and float downstream? She wasn’t in a hurry and
wasn’t in the least flustered. Ever forward she went, determined to push on. And then it struck me, as I thought of
your current astrological omens, that her approach would also suit you quite well right now. Go steadily and casually
against the flow, Gemini.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Herbert Kitchener served as the British Consul-General in Egypt early last century. He
wasn’t impressed with the creativity of the ancient nation’s art. “I can’t think much of the people who drew cats the
same for 4,000 years,” he remarked. Is there an equivalent to this lack of development in your own life, Cancerian?
Among your own activities, are there any whose history has shown no progression? Did you reach a certain skill
level in some area of your life and then stop pushing to improve? This would be an excellent time to identify that
knot of excess stability, and then get started on dissolving it.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I’m not warning you to cut down on all the leaping and cavorting you’ve been doing lately;
I’m just saying that maybe you should add some ballast to your foundation and some gravitas to your demeanor. And
I don’t mean to guilt-trip you into toning down your lust to connect with everyone and everything that tickles your
synapses. But I do suggest you consider the possibility that beginning very soon variety will not be quite as spicy as
it has been; your deft zigzags may need to be carried out with gentler zigs and slightly more cautious zags.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The autocorrect feature sometimes distorts the text messages people send on their smart
phones. It tries to fix supposedly misspelled words that aren’t really misspelled, thereby creating awkward variations
that can cause a ruckus when they’re received, like changing “I don’t want to leave” to “I don’t want to live.” Damn
You, Autocorrect! is a book documenting some of the most outrageous examples, many NSFW. Be vigilant for
metaphorical versions of this wayward autocorrect phenomenon, Virgo. Be sure that in your efforts to make things
better, you don’t render them worse or weird. Consider the possibility that stuff is fine just the way it is.
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Meraki is a Greek word that refers to the bliss you feel when you’re engaged in a task
that’s important to you and that you’re doing really well. It’s your theme right now, Libra. According to my reading
of the astrological omens, everything’s in place for you to experience meraki in abundance. Furthermore, that’s
exactly what your destiny is pushing for. So please get out there and do everything you can to cooperate: Make this
a meraki-filled time.
October 20-November 9
20
ALL HERBAL INCENSES ARE NOT FOR HUMAN
CONSUMPTION
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your nightly dreams provide useful clues about your waking life. They can show you
hidden patterns and unconscious motivations that your daytime mind hasn’t noticed. On rare occasions, they may
even offer more literal guidance. That’s what happened for David Brown, a British man who one morning woke up
from a dream of seeing a mysterious phone number. As an experiment, he sent a text message to that very number:
“Did I meet you last night?” Michelle Kitson, the stranger on the other end, responded with a text, and then Brown
texted back. More exchanges ensued, followed by a face-to-face encounter, and eventually the two were married. I
can’t guarantee anything quite as dramatic for you, Scorpio, but I do expect your dreams will be unusually helpful.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In addition to reading your astrological omens, I did a Tarot reading, consulted
the I Ching, and threw the runes. They all gave me the same message: The coming days would be a good time for you
to spend quality time mulling over the Biggest Mystery of Your Life. It’s not mandatory that you do so. You won’t
cause a disaster if you refuse. Still, wouldn’t it be fun? Life is inviting you to get re-excited about your personal
version of the quest for the Holy Grail. Your future self is calling and calling and calling for you to dive into the
ancient riddle you’ve been working on since before you were born. The mists are parting.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In Sue Allison’s theater piece “Lies I’ve Told,” two actors take turns telling each
other some classic whoppers. Here are a few: 1. “It would be no trouble at all.” 2. “This will only take a second.”
3. “I didn’t get your message.” 4. “I have no idea how that got here.” 5. “I thought you said ‘the 16th.’” 6. “Would
I lie to you?” See if you can avoid fibs like those, Capricorn. I’m not asking you to be a superstar of candor -- that’s
unrealistic -- but I do encourage you to cut back on white lies and casual dishonesties as much as possible. This is a
time when you really need to know the whole truth and nothing but. And the best way to work toward that goal is to
be forthright yourself. That’s how karma operates.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Last June, Northern California artist Mary Sobrina Kuder did a gallery show of her
paintings. She called it “Offerings of Grace and Mischief.” That would be an excellent title for the story of your life
in the coming weeks, Aquarius. I believe that you will be receiving offerings of grace and mischief, and I hope you
will also be making such offerings. For best results, remember this: The grace and mischief are not contradictory or
at odds. In fact, they need each other and belong together.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Do you realize how many connections to remote places you have? Are you aware of
how routinely you are touched by distant events? As science writer David Bodanis reminds us, “We inhale many
hundreds of particles in each breath we take. Salt crystals from ocean whitecaps, dust scraped off distant mountains,
micro bits of cooled magma blown from volcanoes, and charred microfragments from tropical forest fires.” I urge
you to use that as your metaphorical theme in the coming weeks, Pisces. Let your imagination run free as you
renew your connections with faraway sources of nourishment. Revivify your intimacy with departed influences that
continue to define you. Dream about the tantalizing future.
Homework: What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever done? Testify! Go to Realastrology.com and click on
“Email Rob.”
#102011110911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
THE VALLEY PLANET
drop by Garden Cove and inquire about natural
alternatives to pet pharmaceuticals.
This brings me to some important tips for
responsibly enjoying Halloween with your pet.
Thanks to www.ASPCA.org for the following
(paraphrased) information:
Top 10 Safety Tips for Pet Parents
1. That bowl of candy is for trick-or-treaters, not
ey there, you Happy Halloweenie dogs and scaredy cats!
I found this puppy on www rachaelraymag.com. It’s called Gulliver’s Goblin Stoup. It’s for Scruffy and Fluffy. Chocolate in all forms—
especially dark or baking chocolate—can be very
Halloween-inspired and it’s pet-friendly. Thank you, Rachael Ray.
dangerous for dogs and cats. Candies containing
•
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil (EVOO)
the artificial sweetener xylitol can also cause
•
2 carrots, grated
problems.
•
1 cup cooked shredded rotisserie chicken
2. Popular Halloween plants such as pumpkins
•
3 black mission figs, chopped
and decorative corn are considered to be relatively
•
1 pinch ground cinnamon
nontoxic, but they can produce stomach upset in
•
2 cups chicken broth or water
pets who nibble on them.
•
1 cup cooked brown rice
3. Wires and cords from electric lights and other
Directions: In a deep, medium skillet, heat the EVOO, 1 turn of the pan, over medium-high heat. Add decorations should be kept out of reach of your
the carrots and cook until slightly softened, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the chicken, figs and cinnamon and toss. pets.
Stir in half of the chicken broth, then the rice and warm through, 3 to 4 minutes. Stir in more broth, as 4. A carved pumpkin certainly is festive, but do
exercise caution if you choose to add a candle.
needed, to make a slightly soupy mixture.
Pets can easily knock a lit pumpkin over and cause
a fire. Watch out for your curious kittens!
Speaking of recipes, lemme share a quick and low-cost healthy recipe I concocted in my kitchen
5. Please don’t put your dog or cat in a costume
in recent weeks. After a shocking and uncharacteristic five-year hiatus from vegetarianism, I have
UNLESS you know he or she loves it (yup, a few
again returned to my veggie roots—for the good of animals, the planet and my own body and soul.
pets are real hams!). For pets who prefer their
Well, I eat a li’l bit of salmon from time to time, but 95% of the time I actually practice a vegan
“birthday suits,” however, wearing a costume may
lifestyle and consciously choose to put a minimal amount of toxins in, on and around my body. Here
cause undue stress. (Auntie Jen side note: Clearly
goes my nameless midnight creation of vegetarian yumminess:
camera ham “Sharky Gaga,” doin’ her “No Pup•
9oz (approx.) microwaveable basmati rice
arazzi, Please” pose—pictured—is one of these
•
12oz (more if you like a super soupy rice-soup ratio) tomato bisque soup
pups who can temporarily indulge her mommy’s
•
1 cup freshly diced pineapple squares
freaky sense of humor…But can your canine
•
1 small, thinly sliced chili pepper
cope with a costume?)
•
Pinch of sea salt (and some cracked pepper)
6. Make sure your pet’s costume doesn’t annoy
•
1 teaspoon of olive oil
or constrict your animal’s movement or hearing,
•
1 lime
or impede his ability to breathe, bark or meow.
•
Fresh basil leaves
Be sure to try on costumes before the big night.
If your pet seems distressed, allergic or shows
abnormal behavior, consider letting him go au
Directions: Microwave rice as directed. Dice up pineapple chunks, add to cooked rice, and stir in
naturel or don a festive bandana.
olive oil. Heat soup to your liking, adding pepper slices and basil leaves to spice it up. Simmer until
7. Make sure the costume doesn’t have small,
it looks mouth-watering. Pour soup over rice & pineapple bed, thus heating up the juicy pineapple.
dangling or easily chewed-off pieces that your
Add sea salt and cracked pepper, if desired. Squeeze half a fresh lime (or get crazy and squeeze the
pet could choke on.
whole thang) on top and serve!
8. All but the most social dogs and cats should be
As for living naturally, I do a lot of my shopping at Garden Cove. While I was picking up my black
kept in a separate room away from the front door
tofu, carob almonds, avocadoes, and high alkaline water, I discovered a number of natural remedies
during peak trick-or-treating hours. Too many
for humans—as well as drops to help ease pet stress. If you have a pet with anxiety issues, you might
strangers can be scary and stressful for pets.
H
THE VALLEY PLANET
#102011110911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
9. When opening the door for trick-or-treaters, take
care that your cat or dog doesn’t dart outside.
10. IDs, please! Always make sure your dog or cat
has proper identification.
Thank you, ASPCA for those Trick-or-Treat tips!
Speaking of pranks and tom foolery, I’d like to
give thanks to an anonymous drinker of Haterade. I got my first official Auntie Jen hate mail
this September, just in time for my birthday. Woohoo! Your letter gave me a good laugh, a fat head
(yup, your insults and threats backfired big-time,
yo)—and a new kind of contribution to my “fan
mail” folder. Thanks for sharing, Care Bear!
I’d like to conclude with a very special “woof out”
to Avery of Unleash Magazine. This beautiful
online dog mag that particularly catches the eye
of hip hop chicks like myself featured yours truly
(and my best girl Sharky, naturally) in a candid
interview earlier this month. (Of course in the
interview I couldn’t resist comparing myself to
Kanye…again.) So check out “Auntie Jen: Til
Death Do Us Part!” at www.unleashmagazine.
com. Like it, share it, and comment on it, puppy
people!
This dawg—Jen Dawg—digs your feedback.
Email me at writers@valleyplanet.com, or send
me some snail mail to PO Box 144, Huntsville,
AL 35804. Thanks for your loyal readership and
for helping inspire Auntie Jen to keep on bein’
animal craaazy!
21
Time for Pie” (TC – Sun, 30 October; 1:00
p m.) and “The Perfect Turkey” (TC – Sun
– Mon, 6 – 7 November; 1:00 p.m. & 5:30 p m.,
respectively). “Seasonal Supper” (CC – Tue,
1 November; 5:30 – 7:30 p m.; $40, prepaid)
will include recipes for, and samples of, Arugula
Salad, Garlic Cheese Bread, Steak and Mushroom
Stroganoff, and Caramel Bread Pudding. Kinda
knocks the stuffing out of the fourteen sweetand-sour chicken places in the Food Court, where
differing nuances in taste can only be determined
by looking at the restaurants’ marquees.
Glasnost-to-Go: I’ve found something NEW,
at least to us – a sure magnet for lovers of the
Baltic and beyond. It’s the ST. NICHOLAS
RUSSIAN
ORTHODOX
CHURCH—
ANNUAL
RUSSIAN/SLAVIC
FOOD
FESTIVAL [(205) 674-1325/5574, 699-5663, or
595-3929; 105 Pastor Street, Brookside; www.
stnicholasbrookside.org]. Can’t say I’ve ever
been to Brookside…can say I will! It’s Saturday
– Sunday, 5 – 6 November, 10 a m. – 4 p m.
and Noon – 5 p m., respectively, in the Parish
Hall. Since its inception, said to be 1981, this
event somehow, somewhere, some way eluded
me. On the first full weekend of November,
following a couple months’ prep, the ladies of
the “Sisterhood of St. Olga” – some of whom
you may espy in native peasant dress – roll out
trays full of Ukrainian-Slovakian delights. These
bonnes bouches de babushka are based on vintage
recipes bequeathed by relatives and friends who
immigrated here, drawn by potential employ at
local coal mines.
Comestibles include beet-infused Borscht, Shschi
(Russian soldiers’ cabbage/meat soup), Pirozhki
(filled yeast buns), Blini (a Slavic crêpe of sorts),
Pelmeni (filled dumplings), and Kolbasa, better
known as the Polish kielbasa. The grand-slam
“Imperial Platter” includes Halupki (cabbage rolls),
Kolbasa, Kraut, Pirozhki, Halushki (dumplings &
cabbage), Cucumber Salad, and Pigachi for only
$14. Other, smaller platters, including a veggie
option, are priced accordingly, and many of the
two, you’ll find: regular pastries (Imperial Squares, Medivnyk, Russian
and White Cinderella; teacakes, Pascha, and Bulochki) are individually
Long
Island
Cheese; priced. Onsite, you’ll discover a Beriozka store
Knucklehead, the largest with imported tchotchkes (e.g. matryoshkas,
variety in the “SUPER or nesting dolls; iconography; hand-painted
FREAK” Series; Big Max; ornaments) and other more practical imports,
the slightly hideous Peanut such as books and woolen shawls, from Russia,
(or do you prefer “Brodé Belarus, Ukraine, and The Republic of Moldova. D’Galeux Eysines”?); the On Sunday, you can enjoy Ukrainian terpsichory
by Jim Zieliński
spectral Full Moon; the via Nataliya “Natasha” Russo Dance Arts as
Bunyanesque offering known as Prizewinner; and they present “Chervona Kalyna” folk dancing on
all is just about mine favorite time of the beautiful, blue-green New Zealand heirloom, the grounds, some 30 minutes northwest of the
the year…rustling leaves, cool winds Jarrahdale—which sounds suspiciously like a dish seminude Vulcan. Want more info? Call Father
during warm days, the promise of nights on the SITAR buffet. In particular, Cinderella and Benedict or Matushka Brigid Davis at the
with Karloff and Lugosi and days shopping for L.I. Cheese are said to be excellent on the table, numbers above. Then polish your samovar, tdoff
pumpkins and objets d’wart. It’s a dream. It’s redolent of cinnamon and then some, or on the your ushanka, and make haste to St. Nick’s! And
also harvest, so gather ye taste buds while ye may stoop, echoing with the screams of non compos pick up one of the Slavic cookbooks while you’re
and sally forth with goblet and runcible spoon. Or mentis trick-or-treaters. Or turn a large one into there, nicht wahr? Sorry; da?
marrow spoon, if you’re cutting back.
a terrifying tureen… https://sites.google.com/a/ phoo-d.com/printable-recipes/how-to-make- If you want to get up early Sunday, drive on to
Herewith, we offer another of our popular a-pumpkin-tureen...brimming with bloody-red lunch in Birmingham with the 9th ANNUAL
ELEVENTH-HOUR CAVEATS (see our chili or a snappy sangria.
FRIEDMAN FAMILY LJCC JEWISH
Archives at www.valleyplanet.com for details)! FOOD FESTIVAL at the LEVITE JEWISH
October ends with three Ethnophilic Field Days: The navigation of the culinary world should be COMMUNITY CENTER [3960 Montclair
the 30th ANNUAL ST. GEORGE THE GREAT open to all ages, including waifs...but never Road; (205) 879-0411; www.bhamjcc.org;
MARTYR (MELKITE RITE) CATHOLIC more so than during the Witching Season, when betty@bhamjcc.org]. Get there at 11:00 a m.,
– FOOD AND CULTURAL FESTIVAL [425 the world is rife with treat-munching bratlings. devour things, then hop in das Auto to make it to
16th Avenue South, Birmingham; (205) 252- And someone must provide those snacks. With Brookside for a Slavic follow-up (the JFF shuts
5788;
www.saintgeorgeonline.org;Thursday that in mind, the HUNTSVILLE BOTANICAL down at 3:00). The LJCC carte du jour includes
– Friday, 27 – 29 October]; the GRACE GARDEN [4747 Bob Wallace Avenue, SW; such delectables as Brisket Plate, Noodle Kugel,
LUTHERAN SCHOOL 21ST ANNUAL (256) 830-4447; www hsvbg.org ] invites your and Israeli Salad ($14); Smoked Whitefish, Bialy,
GERMAN
LUNCHEON
[3321
South little 1st through 3rd grade kitchen goblins to the Kugel, and Israeli Salad ($12); Corned Beef
Memorial Parkway; (256) 881-0533; www. Anderson Education Center Classroom in the Sammy, Israeli Salad, and Chips ($12); Matzoh
gls-hsv.org; Friday, 28 October]; and the 2nd Nature Center for “TRICKS AND TREATS” Ball Soup ($4); and bevs such as Dr. Brown’s
ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL OF on Saturday, 29 October. Thanks to Misty various sodas ($2)…that’s “Cokes” to you…the
NORTH ALABAMA [Shelby Center; near the Hertzig, your tykes will discover how to create latter very popular in the Big Apple and South
roundabout on John Wright Drive, NW, just Candy Corn AND Edible Brains, just the ticket Florida, nicht wahr? Ah, there we go. The
off 301 Sparkman Drive, NW; (256) 824-6432; for your own zombie get-togethers. It’s all for Treasure Market, bake sale (look for Rugelach,
Saturday, 29 October]…all less than a fortnight only $20/members or $25/non-members (classes Babka, Mandelbrot, and more), and the music
away!
fill up quickly!), and they’ll learn a few strange of the Klezmer Kings will further add to your
Allhallows facts, as well, ending with a ghostly delight and, BTW, the price of each full entrée
It’s jack-o-lantern time, and whether you long gallivant through the Scarecrow Trail.
includes one’s drink. Or join in the Matzoh Ball
to bake gourd cousins or to carve their faces Eating Contest, which requires pre-registration. like an unhinged cosmetologist, the most varied Boosting the elders’ holiday table knowhow, our Then Hava Nagila! Or have two.
pumpkin displays we’ve seen locally are at WILLIAMS-SONOMA outpost in PARKWAY BROOKS MARKET [1022 Cook Avenue, PLACE [(256) 534-2008; 2801 South Memorial Having headed in a southerly direction, how about
NW; (256) 533-0988] and AYER’S FARMERS Parkway] is kicking off a number of suitable a jaunt northward? About 24 miles north, that is,
MARKET [2015 Memorial Parkway, SW Technique (TC – Free) and Cooking (CC – where you will join the citizens of Fayetteville
@ Governor’s Drive, SW; (256) 533-5667; Various Pricing) classes…with limited seating, and Lincoln County for the 19th ANNUAL HOST
http://ayersfarmersmarket.com]. Between the mmmkay? We alert you to “My Oh My, It’s OF CHRISTMAS PAST [(931) 433-1234/7006;
F
22
#102011110911
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
www hostofchristmaspast.com], running Friday
– Sunday, 11 – 13 November. In addition to
sundry bake sales, options of Rib Eye sandwiches
and such on and about the square, and some of the
local faves’ offerings, from “Poolroom Burgers”
to the spread at ELK RIVER COFFEE, this
year’s celebration will feature HIGH TEA: “LACE, LINENS, AND LUXURY,” hosted
on S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y at 11:00 a m., 1:00 p.m., and
3:00 p m. by the FIRST NATIONAL BANK
[(931) 433-5885; 2850 Huntsville Highway]. Tickets are $15, with proceeds benefiting
FAYETTEVILLE MAIN STREET, a nonprofit organization dedicated to revitalizing the
district whilst maintaining its historic character
(www fayettevillemainstreet.com). The menu
includes assorted canapés, such as Bleu Gems,
Salmon Pinwheels, and Tuna Mousse; Filowrapped Asparagus and Cheese; Grand Marnier
and Apricot Dreams cheesecakes; Hot Russian
Tea, Punch and more. Get your ADVANCE
PURCHASE tickets at First National Bank [405
College Street West] or by calling (931) 4335855. Remaining in town through the evening? Check out the CHRISTMAS FEAST at the
FIRST UNITED METHODIST CHURCH
CHRISTIAN LIFE CENTER [(931) 433-2251;
200 Elk Avenue, North; www fayettevillefumc.com]. Seatings are at 5:00 and 6:30 p m.
for adults ($14) and kids eleven and under ($7). It features traditional Turkey and Dressing…and
fixin’s.
Should you forgo gobbling said gobbler, but
still want to shoot for a Saturday two-fer, add a
drive to 12200 Bailey Cove Road and SAINT
THOMAS EPISCOPAL CHURCH for their
18th ANNUAL LOBSTERFEST. Boasting a
total yearly influx of some 2,500 live, ocean-fresh,
pinch-happy decapods, this paean to crustaceous
living runs—or scuttles?—from 10:00 a m.
until 7:00 p m. and offers various Lobster, Rib,
and Barbecue combos. Prices were unavailable
at press time, so claw your way to a phone and
dial (256) 880-0248 for the LOBSTERLINE or
order online at http://stthomas-hsv.dioala.org/
lobsterfest/index.html! Linger awhile and visit
the bake sale…it’s all for a good cause, so don’t
be shellfish. Last year, over $31,000 was amassed
for STEC’s Honduran medical mission, Habitat
for Humanity, and First Stop for the Homeless. Leave us hoist a crimson cephalothorax in their
honor!
This time each year, thespian and co-owner
Samantha Hathorn is always stirring up
something in her chilly cauldron over at SAM
AND GREG’S GELATERIA/PIZZERIA
[119 North Side Square; (256) 533-9030;
www.samandgregs.com]. Look into her kettle
o’ plenty this go-round and find Bone Yard
Chocolate with bone sprinkles, Gummi Snake
(green and containing a huge adder), GumballEyeball Raspberry, Licorice, and something
seasonally “Orange.” In honor of yet another
season, S&G’s has also planned a Football Fiesta
with team-inspired flavors. Think Orange Julius
(Tennessee), Raspberry (Alabama), Blueberry
(Auburn), and Purple Praline (LSU). And here’s
an even BIGGER treat: this frozen dessert oasis
is now open for lunch and dinner on Sundays,
with a newly installed fountain…which means
free soft drink refills!
Want a quick take-home nosh for your
bewitched, bothered, and bewildered guests? Nab some disposable plastic serving gloves; fill
each finger’s end with candy corn “fingernails”;
stuff the carpals and metacarpals with caramel
corn; tie it off with black ribbon; place a spider,
skull, or otherwise ghouliday-appropriate ring on
one of the fingers; and voila! Send them home
after the witching hour with some very literal
finger food. Now, as you ready for the onslaught of grasping,
costumed talons, while away some hours with
John “Widgett” Robinson and his overly
caffeinated mob at NEED COFFEE’S “32 DAYS
OF HALLOWEEN” [www needcoffee.com],
already well underway. That’ll put you in the
mood…and here’s hoping your cauldron runneth
over with merriment and that you’re haunted by
nothing stronger than a sugar high.
And one caveat: never bob for caramel apples.
THE VALLEY PLANET
A CLASSIFIED AD WITH THE VALLEY PLANET GETS YOU:
A line ad (up to 30 words) in print in the Valley Planet for one issue
(3 weeks). Internet ads for 3 weeks on The Daily Classifieds.com,
CraigsList, LYCOS Classifieds, Oodle, myspace classifieds, military.com, Google Base, (Real
Estate classifieds will additionally be on Google Maps Real Estate Listings, Zillow.com,
trulia and Rentals will also be on hotpads.com.)
SERVICE INCLUDES DAILY VIEWER REPORTS.
ALL THIS FOR $40. Employment ads, Rentals, Items for Sale, etc…
Need a pet sitter? “If you’re not home to play Mommy or Daddy, Auntie Jen will take care of your
furry family.” Detailed info at auntiejenpetsitter.com, or call (256) 566-2020,
5am-9pm, 7 days/wk.
Two Lighted Open signs for sale. $60 each or two for $100. Great for bar, restaurant or any retail
store. Call 256 479-9463
Stainless Steel steam pans $5 EACH,various sizes about 20. Stainless steel cart $25 EACH (like for
bussing tables). Call 256 479-9463
Send in your random encounters today. It’s FREE!!
We are putting all the categories together since it
seems like there are always more jeers than anything
else!! But just to give you an idea of what the To Yuno
from Yunohoos are about… I Saw you: but you didn’t
catch my name, You saw me or you think you were
seen: Cheers: Pay your respect to those who deserve
it and of course Jeers: Frustrated? Tell us all about it.
Thankfully, we don’t know who you are!
To send in your FREE ad
1. Keep your word limit to 40 words. No names, just
initials if you want.
2. Meet the deadline.
3. Get it to us: Put “To Yuno from Yunohoo” in the
subject line of the email and send to classifieds@
valleyplanet.com.
Julie, You make my heart sing! D
N - Just wondering if you are still trying to save people
by having a few drinks and telling them “Jesus loves
your god*** a*s.”
Re: Local cabbie who picked me up from downtown
last Saturday night… aren’t their rules of etiquette for
taxi drivers? And, are ya’ll drug tested?
BW - Your best-friend golfing buddy is bragging that
your wife really does like his longer putter. Wake up,
stupid.
LW: For the last fifty years you have made every day
worth being alive! You are my soul mate. I am so
proud you picked me those many years ago. Happy
Anniversary!
The Valley Planet Music Exchange is FREE to any individual (not businesses) looking to
buy, sell, trade or find bandmates. You get a headline and 3 lines of text for FREE!
Please call (256) 533-4613 or
email your ads to classifieds@valleyplanet.com.
Southern Gospel Quartet, all parts needed:
singers, bass, tenor, baritone and lead. Instrument players needed also.
Call Billy 256 612-7509 or Wayne 256 603-4650.
WANTED: Drummer and bassist, ideally already tight together (onesinging), for trio w/
keybd/gtr/vocalist. Origs and select covers. Joe
at rogerjoeshiner@gmail.com. NOTE: D/B who
contacted me, pls recontact! Lost yr info!
Something different? Rock Opera / Musical
performance piece. Our project needs M &
F singers to complete CD production. If U can
sing & are interested in broadening UR musical
resume, call us. Mike @ 828-342-3117 or Vic @
256-497-4491
Pioneer Speakers: 15 inch woofers, solid wood
cabinets. $150/pair. Call 256-694-3924
For musical experiment of 2 girl/2 guy punk/
thrash/alt band with clean female vox. For
more info contact adam @ 256-431-5130 or
Aye-Damn Jackson on facebook. Should be
open-minded, willing to travel and want to play
music full-time
B-52 professional PA speakers 300 watts
each, 80 ohms, 40-19 hz, 15 inch woofer and
horn, used very little. made in USA. mfg has
web site, call 256-706-3278
Musicians of all kinds needed for a lady with
a Nashville record deal. Prefer women players
and singers. Men are welcome, too. Located in
Huntsville area. Call 318-491-1995
HORN PLAYERS NEEDED! Local original band
seeking experienced horn players. Reggae, jazz,
soul, blues, rock. 256.361.5524
New Age Folk: Wanting to mix Master P, NIN,
WP, Indigo Girls into 15 yrs of folk originals, accomplished baritone using simple rhythms.
Smokers Only. afb1302@inbox.com
Seeking a band or person: Experienced banjo/guitar player seeking a band, person or persons to perform with, preferably gigs but just to
THE VALLEY PLANET
jam is good also. I also sing. Contact Tim at 281650-2573 tmtlr51@gmail.com
Drummer seeking open-minded musicians
to join OR to start a new project,arrange
originals & play the local scene & beyond.
Musically I’m very open but I’d prefer alt rock/
neo-grunge/post emo on the level of FooFighters, Mutemath, Janes Addiction(great local
band ‘Eyes Around’) all the way to stuff like Tool,
APC, NIN, The Cure, Dido, Tegan & Sara to Portishead. Voyage2Infinity@hotmail or 256-2327505.Kirk
Lane, are you really a chicken whisperer? And, do they
whisper back? A concerned neighbor.
Cole - C’mon now, you have to admit using your dead
kid’s grave as a spot to meet your ex for sex is pretty low
- even for you. Damn.
To Yunohoo. Not cool – stealing from someone who has
less than you. Karma
MD ---So ya wanna be a rockstar? In my book you are
on your way!
Yunohoo - You may have your conscience bound and
gagged for now, but its going to wake up and haunt you
by Halloween.
To the guy at Humpheries: since you can’t figure it out
“hockey mask drunk” means you are s***faced.
Guitar Player Wanted to accompany a local
singer/songwriter who plans to focus on spiritual but NOT religious music. Would like to start
working on building up repertoire and eventually publish and hopefully tour Unitarian Universalist churches. Must be willing to follow my
lead yet add new ideas or possibly collaborate
in writing. Must enjoy playing inspiring and
hopeful, liberal, spiritual music. Please contact
Vanessa at 256-585-0260 or email me at nessabutterfly1@yahoo.com.
Jeers to you CK: Why even wear pants when all we can
see are your boxers?
Original Country Band Forming. All instruments welcome, violin, pedal steel guitar, bass,
etc. dpericks@gmail.com. 256 652-9646. Dorvin.
CHEERS: To the VP! You REALLY do ROCK! Thanks
for the tix!
Original Rock band seeks bass player. For
more info please contact Philip: 256-658-4871
Beatles Tribute band seeking a ‘George’ for
shows. Contact James (256) 783-7444, jtctoo@
yahoo.com or Tim (256) 417-3932.
Bethany, when I asked if you liked acronyms and told
you the guy you were trying to pick up was “Always In
Disguise Sober.” I was suggesting you use a condom or two. Ain’t no morning-after pill for that stuff.
Yushudnohoo: Quit sending us emails with everyone
else’s email addresses on them! Don’t you know how to
NOT send out everyone you know’s emails? If not, buy
Email for Dummies or better yet – give your computer
to the thrift store – you don’t deserve one!
J. You’re acting more cucky than cocky when you brag
your wife is feeding you creampies. She may make
them at home but she’s not baking them.
JEERS SJ: Sneaking food and drink into the dollar
movie, really?
Honey, Buffalo was nice but I said “Viagra Falls,” not
Niagra.
Original band seeks horn player(s). Eclectic
rhythmic songs mixing reggae, soul, celtic, funk,
rock and second line. Seasoned local players
consisting of bass, drums, guitar, keys and vocals. We have a set and are ready to play out.
Call 256.361.5524.
David, You may call him “Lamont,” but I’m never
coming back.
Drummer Needed- Must have firm Funk/Rock/
Blues background for a Blues/Rock Artist that
already has 1 album released and has been on
several National Tours. Currently Booking October dates for regional touring. Must be available
to gig 3-4 times a week. Please call Josh at 402309-0113.
Tommy, Get your ears cleaned out. She didn’t call you
a cheese stick.
#102011110911
B. You do get that singing karaoke is not American
Idol and…you aren’t the only one that can sing. No, we
don’t want your autograph or to buy you a drink! From
your “friends” at the neighborhood bar.
Mary, Why are your friends saying, “One tequila, two
tequila, three tequila four and she wakes up ………?”
All you farmers who voted for Micky Hammon, how’s
that working out for you?
VOLUME 9 ISSUE 14
23
“I’m a member!
and I got a great rate
on my auto loan”*
You’ll love the great rates and service on our loans,
as well as a host of other products, including GAP
coverage.** GAP covers the difference between the
vehicle’s value and the amount you still owe. And
when you have a checking account, you are eligible
for even better rates with Redstone MemberPlus!†
Ask about it today!
* Must be RFCU member to obtain loan; all loans subject to credit approval; restrictions apply; contact us for
more information. This Credit Union is Federally Insured by the National Credit Union Administration.
** For a complete list of benefits and rules, see the GAP Waiver Election Form. The purchase of GAP is voluntary
and cannot be required as a condition of loan approval. GAP is a loan/lease deficiency waiver and is not
offered as insurance coverage. Applies only to collateral financed by Redstone Federal Credit Union. A fee
applies, please contact RFCU for more information.
† Must have checking account to be eligible for Redstone MemberPlus! Restrictions apply.
¤¤~ÛÝÛoooj]\^[mgj_

147 - Valley Planet

Transcription

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