Purpose Found in Pippin From Your President
Transcription
Purpose Found in Pippin From Your President
V O L U M E X L I X M A Y 3 , 2 0 0 5 N Muscle Car Revival Sin City Reviewed NBA Playoff Predictions PAGE 6 PAGE 7 PAGE 9 U M B E R 1 2 From Your President Purpose Found in Pippin BY ANDREW ROBINSON After being elected Student Council President last year, I knew that it was not going to be an easy job. I also knew that I was going to be working with a very capable executive committee that would not let me down. Throughout the year, they have proved their worth. Before last school year even ended, the executive committee realized that the lack of school spirit would be our major obstacle. While brainstorming for ways to boost the rising seniors’ morale, Sloan came up with the idea of a crawfish cookout. The cookout was a success that set a promising precedent. As summer began, the members of the executive committee were confident that we could restore the faltering school spirit. Over the summer, Sloan and I thought it MEMPHIS UNIVERSITY SCHOOL 6191 PARK AVENUE MEMPHIS, TN 38119-5399 would be really cool to bring back the school mascot, so we bought an owl costume. When school began, the student body immediately took ownership of the owl, naming it Lloyd. Throughout the year Lloyd has proven to be another Student Council success. In another brainstorming session, we decided to expand the previous year’s ÜberMUS competition into the ÜberTrials – a series of different activities and games in which homerooms and grades would compete against each other. The ÜberTrials, which helped destroy the monotony of classes, lasted almost the duration of the first semester and became a great tradition for the school. Football and Basketball Homecoming Weeks are probably the Student Council’s most intense weeks. One of the CONTINUED ON PAGE 3 NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION U.S. POSTAGE PAID MEMPHIS, TN PERMIT #631 ADDRESS CORRECTION REQUESTED BY PETER TRAVIS Charlemagne (Preston Battle), the Emperor of the Holy RoMUS Theater productions man Empire, begins his quest have always had a reputation to find complete, ultimate fulof excellence at the high school fillment. Pippin is helped along level. The students who come his journey by a band of travtogether to put on these shows eling actors, led by the cunning have succeeded in meeting Leading Player (Eric Wilson), many challenges on the stage who show Pippin a variety of and behind the scenes. The lifestyles which he could purSpring musical, Pippin, pre- sue, but all lead to disappointsented very different styles of ment. The deceitful players try theatrical art that could have to seduce Pippin with war, been difficult for a high school politics, women, and power, program to grasp, but under but after all their efforts, a dethe superior direction of Mr. jected Pippin falls off of his Eikner, the MUST C Produc- journey down the so-called tion of Stephen Schwartz’s “right track,” Picked up by a Pippin was a magical perfor- widow named Catherine (St. mance that will not be soon Agnes’s Carly Crawford), Pippin falls into the routine of evforgotten. The story opens as Pippin eryday life on her large estate. (Walter Klyce), the son of Feeling trapped, Pippin flees the estate, much to the dismay of Catherine and her son Theo (Peter Travis). Finally, it is time for the finale which the Leading Player has promised from the beWalter Klyce as Pippin and Eric Wilson as ginning: Pipthe Leading Player pin now has the chance, literally, to go out in a blaze of glory. Just as Pippin’s decision to return to an ordinary life dashes the hopes of the players, young Theo steps into the spotlight, and everything has come full circle. The spring production of Pippin exhibited everything that an audience could hope for in musical theater. The music, sets, lights, dancing, costumes, and energy contributed to a production which exceeded the standard expectations for a high school musical. Other performers included Alex Chinn, Alexander Fones, Will Hickman, Sonny Linn, David Minervini, Ed Porter, Andrew Robinson, Ansley Fones (SMS), Mari Earle (SMS), Rachel Weeks (Hutchison),Amanda Castroverde (SMS), Morgan Beckford (SMS), and Louise Smythe (Hutchison). Overall, Pippin was a reflection of the great amount of talent at MUS and the work that goes into MUS theater both on and off the stage. The biggest thanks are owed to Mr. Saunders for technical design, Mr. Hiltonsmith for musical direction, Debbie Jacobs for costumes, and Kimberly Baker for choreography. P A G E 2 T H E O W L ’ S H O O T n e w s Editors-in-Chief Clint Cowan Andrew Manugian Associate Editors Ben Bleustein Parth Sheth Technical/Layout Editor Roger Chu Michael Fong Cartoonist Zach Glover News Editors Alex Chinn Charles Askew Sports Editors John Taylor Josh Evensky Viewpoints Editors Warner Russell Amusements Editors David Minervini Peter Zanca Columnists Marshall Bartlett John Daniel Preston Dennis John Hammons Walter Klyce Aaron Struminger Photographers Neely Mallory Mike Montesi Worth Morgan Hank Wynn Faculty Advisor Mr. N. Thompson Youth Legislature Passes the Bar BY ALEX CHINN The hotel lobby is packed with high school students who cannot wait any longer for their rooms to be ready. You grab your nametag and your bill book, and you head out for lunch. When you return, you have opening ceremonies, candidate speeches, and finally committee hearings ad nauseam. This familiar scene is none other than the Tennessee YMCA Youth Legislature, a conference of over five hundred delegates packed into the Sheraton Hotel and the state capitol for four days of intense debate, long hours, and little rest. As usual, MUS was well represented, having nearly seventy participants in the conference. These students, along with others from schools across the state, served in various roles, including legislators, lobbyists, attorneys, reporters, commissioners on the governor’s cabinet, and offic- ers. Most participants were legislators in one of four legislative chambers, where they discussed and voted on bills. Seniors Warner Russell and Trevor Skelley spent their weekend lobbying for bills on specific issues. Scott McLeod and Michael McCulloch advised the governor as the Commissioners of Environment and Conservation and Financial Institutions, respectively. Ten MUS students served on conference leadership: Alex Chinn as Speaker of the House, Aaron Markowitz as Assistant Senate Floor Leader, Jesse Mahautmr as Chief Engrossing Clerk, Jayshal Patel as Senate Clerk, Chris McDonald as House Sergeant-at-Arms, Andrew Manugian as Speaker Pro-Temp of the Blue Senate, Noah Feder as Speaker ProTemp of the Blue House, Clint Cowan as Blue Senate Floor Leader, Peter Zanca as Blue Senate Clerk, and Erim Sarinoglu as an Associate Justice. All of these officers were highly commended by the YMCA Youth in Government staff for their excellent service to the conference. Finally, as all good things must come to an end, it came time for the conference to adjourn until next spring. But before we could leave, there were awards to be presented and offices to be won. Freshman Nathaniel Kastan received an award for outstanding statesman in the Blue Senate. Junior Hayden Pendergrass was named as an outstanding statesman in the Red House. Six MUS students were named to serve as officers at the 53rd Session in 2006: Peter Zanca as Lieutenant Governor, Shea Conaway as Speaker of the House, Frank Jemison as Senate Floor Leader, Hayden Pendergrass as House Floor Leader, Chris McDonald as Speaker of the Blue House, and Erim Sarinoglu as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Finally, thirteen delegates and thirteen alternates were named for the YMCA Conference on National Affairs to be held in July at Blue Ridge Assembly in North Carolina. Being named for National Affairs is a great honor for any participant in Youth Leg. Delegates from MUS were Alex Chinn, Warner Russell, Clint Cowan, Noah Feder, and Jesse Mahautmr. Three alternates were also selected from MUS: Aaron Markowitz, Peter Zanca, and Hayden Pendergrass. Thanks are in order for all of the faculty members who made this trip possible. Mr. Olson and Mr. Berman served as chaperones and members of the awards committee. Mr. Amsler, as always, did the bulk of the work to organize everything, both for MUS and for the entire Memphis delegation. The Government Club also must thank the helpful library staff for all their work with our proposals. Eric Wilson: No Fortune’s Fool BY WALTER KLYCE Monday, April 25, was a tremendous day in the history of Memphis University School—more specifically, in the life of senior Eric Wilson. That morning, Eric, having already won the school and regional contests, competed against fifty-seven other students from around the country in the nation-wide Shakespeare Monologue Competition in NYC, as sponsored by the English-Speaking Union. He performed Sonnet 147 and a comic piece from one of Jaques’s speeches in As cold reading, Eric chose a Coriolanus, a play about an You Like It; in fact, he per- monologue from overly proud Roman general. formed them both so well that Shakespeare’s little-known CONTINUED ON PAGE 3 he made it past the semifinals into the final ten. That afternoon, Eric was asked to perform both monologues again for a second triad of judges; in addition, however, he and the other nine contestants were given cold readings (monologues they had never seen before) to deliver, with only five minutes of preparation. Although his hair is, Eric is not wet behind the ears when it comes to Shakespeare Given two choices for the M A Y 3 , 2 0 0 5 P A G E 3 n e w s Venimus, Vidimus, Vicimus BY WALTER KLYCE Sadly, after overcoming great obstacles, the chariot was defeated by the weather when the race was cancelled due to rain. However, the team overcame this let-down and pressed on regardless. Roger Chu achieved first place for his art entry; Alex Chinn and the eighth graders performed well on the academic tests; and, most of all, our athletes slaughtered the competition on the field and in the pool, with Louis Ghawji running a 5:13 mile and lapping four competitors. Although our certamen team got slaughtered by the superior dorkiness of Rossview, the weekend was nevertheless an enjoyable success. All right, I’ll admit it: we didn’t win the overall sweepstakes. But for a team that didn’t even make a showing last year, second place (out of around thirty competing schools) isn’t too shabby. And future conventions promise to only get better, as long as the dadgum freshmen choose to show up next time. Ergo, we can expect further greatness in the coming years, casting a positive light on not only our fantastic Latin department but also our entire school. Attending the State Latin Convention is a rite of passage for any young man; fortunately, many of our students receive the chance during their eighth grade year. However, only the pauci, the superbi, the fortes choose to stay the path and stick with Latin through high school. This last weekend, an elite group of discipuli, armed with togas and accompanied by Mr. Duff, Mr. Torrey, Mrs. Reinhardt, and, of course “Sudds,” made its way to Clarksville to do battle with the infidel. The preparation for this event was extensive. Tom Chiu proposed and illustrated a club t-shirt, which President Jesse Mahautmr organized and distributed to the team. Juniors Will Pickens, Will Thornton, and Grayson Sharpe designed for the costume contest a threeman costume of Romulus, Remus, and the she-wolf, respectively. Yell Leader Peter Zanca helped construct the chariot and devised creative and inspiring chants, such as the ever-popular “Veni, vidi, vici”—appropriately, this is our motto in the TJCL (Tennessee Junior Classical League). And, most notably, Sudds had everyone enter essay, speech, and poetry contests to help ensure our success. Will Pickens, Grayson Sharpe, and Once we arWill Thornton dressed up as rived, our dominaRomulus, Remus, and the wolf tion was clear. 2005 STUDENT COUNCIL most difficult parts of planning Homecoming Week, however, is figuring out how to outdo the previous years. We must plan creative Days of the Week and various activities throughout the week that the student body will enjoy. Planning the pep rallies never fails to involve cramming Wednesday and Thursday night at Sloan’s house. Sloan, who as Vice-President was large and in charge, did an excellent job of executing two of the best Homecoming Weeks in my memory. Sam Sawyer, as Commissioner of Social Events, also planned two homecoming dances that proved to be very fun for everyone in attendance. I agree with the majority of feedback that I received: both Homecoming weeks were successes. The year didn’t stop with ÜberTrials or Homecoming. Fall Fest turned out to be a success with the football tournament and MUS vs. Hutchison soccer game. Jack Heflin and Trevor Skelley also provided fun for everyone with their fair-style game in which contestants could win prizes ranging from stuffed animals to live gold fish. William Montgomery provided memorable special activities – he put a twist on the milk chugging contest with the addition of a funnel. Frank “the Tank” Jemison definitely took that one home. Ben Tacker arranged several widely attended Dutch Treat Dinners with Mr. Olson, Mr. Smythe, and Mrs. Crosby. Knowing the underclassmen needed a place to socialize, we, with the help of the Civic Service Organization, purchased the couches and chairs for the foyer of the Campus Center. The Student Council has also been hard at work planning the upcoming Spring Formal. We are excited that the year’s final dance will be in the Tower Room in the Clark Tower on May 7th. I personally am very proud of the year that the Student Council has had. I feel that we have been very successful in all WILSON MONOLOGUE Although he was up against some of the best high school actors in the country, the judges recognized Eric’s sincerity, poise, and unique charisma and awarded him the first-place prize—and he was the only male to place. In reward for his achievement, Eric will receive a cash prize of one thousand dollars and be given a free four-week trip to London this summer, where he will work with some of the best coaches in the country. This achievement is an appropriate finish to Eric’s fantastic high school career. Although Eric had won the school competition three times before and placed third in the city in 2003, Monday was his first appearance at the national competition, and thus it is even more impressive for him to have done so well. Eric is the first MUS student to ever win this competition, and he has set a legacy that will endure long after he’s graduated. For his own part, Eric has accepted the flood of praise graciously. He modestly suggests that “it was part luck.” Mr. Saunders adds that “it was part training” as well; and there is certainly no question about CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 our endeavors and have reached our long-term goal of bringing school spirit back to the level that it should be. I do not think that this year would have been the same if the executive committee had not comprised diligent workers who all shared the same desire to have a great year; our advisor, Mr. Weir, also played a prominent role in brainstorming and executing events. However, we would not have been successful if it weren’t for the great support that we received from the student body and faculty. I, on behalf of the executive committee would like to thank the students and faculty for trusting us with your school year. I hope it has been as enjoyable for you as it has been for us. I would also like to give my best wishes to Zane, William, Andrew, Preston, David, Doug, and Dev for next year. I am confident that they will maintain the level of school spirit and provide the students and faculty with a very enjoyable and memorable year. CONTINUED FROM PAGE 2 that. Eric’s six years of experience in Hyde Chapel under Mr. Saunders and Mr. Eikner have provided him with a solid theatre background which contributes to his incredible command of the stage. Furthermore, the time he spent at the Tennessee Governor’s School for the Arts this summer gave him additional preparation. Barefoot in the Park was easily the best student show in recent memory. In other words, Eric’s success, while deserved, shouldn’t be all that surprising; it just confirms what we already knew. P A G E 4 T H E O W L ’ S H O O T N e w s Interview with a Legend: Mr. Olson BY BEN BLEUSTEIN Coach Wise said, “You might want to check your sleeve, it What is your first memory still has all of the tags on it.” Uhhh, yeah, that’s about it. at MUS? Olson: Ok. I took this job straight out of graduate school, What is your first memory? so I didn’t have a tie and I Hmm, well this is kinda weird, didn’t own a jacket. I had been but I actually remember being warned that I needed a jacket, born. For the first eight years so I went and bought some nice of my life, I had a recurring pants and a sports coat. I left nightmare. The dream started the jacket and pants to be tai- with my being in a dark cave. lored, but I found out they There was a strong suction on were taking me to lunch at the the cave, but I fought it, and I Crescent Club immediately. was like ‘Ahh.’ The cave turned My girlfriend at the time picked into a blurry yellow room. If up my clothes, before they had you think about it, that’s what been sized, and I got dressed being born is like. in my office. When I got to the top floor of the Crescent Club, Are there any stories that you never got to tell to your classes? Yeah, I’ve got one. My parents got divorced when I was 25. I was obviously out of the house by then, but every holiday I had to go to two houses for dinner. The first Thanksgiving they were divorced my mom was pretty emotional. She told me that there was something she had never told my father, but felt really guilty about. She said, “When I was taking you to the store with me one day, I set you in your carseat on top of the car. When I leaned into the car to get my purse, you fell off the car and landed on your head. I think that’s why you get headaches.” So a little later I went to my dad’s house and I told him the story. He said, “Oh, that’s terrible, but there’s something I haven’t told your mom that I feel guilty about. One day your Photo Courtesy of Mr. Olson’s Paint Program Mr. Olson’s artistic depiction of the source of his mom made me take you for a headaches walk in your stroller and I thought I would give you a thrill. I proceeded to push the handles really hard, flipping the back of the stroller (making it look like a stretcher), and leaving you behind on your head. I always wondered if that’s why you get such bad headaches.” Do you still get headaches? Every now and then. What is the funniest thing you remember from your experiences at MUS? Hiltonsmith and I played a lot of pranks on each other over the years. Once, after Hiltonsmith and I got back from a trip to New Orleans, there was a note in my box that read, “I need to see you in my office immediately. I have some serious concerns about your trip to New Orleans- Ellis Haguewood.” I knew it was fake, but I checked with Ellis just in case. He said that he never sent me a memo. I showed him the note and he told me I had to get him back, and if Hiltonsmith came to his office, he would tell him that Olson cursed him out. Did you get that? Sorry for the pronouns. I put a note in everyone’s box saying that I had resigned. Hiltonsmith then put a note in everyone’s box saying “John Hiltonsmith committed suicide.” Well, once Hiltonsmith’s dog bit me, so I told everyone in a memo that the school was afraid of lawsuits, therefore, all dogs over 20 pounds must be put to sleep. The next day, Mr. Mutzi was in the office and overheard him asking Ms. Hurst when he needed to put his dog to sleep by.” What are you going to miss most about the school? The people, generally. The students and the teachers, yeah. Student Council Speeches: Function Before Fun BY FRANK JEMISON Does it really matter whom we elect for Student Council positions? I mean one guy is probably as good as the next, so why not elect a guy for an entire year if he humors you for three minutes? This year’s executive committee has proved that dedicated leadership really does determine the year’s demeanor. We had a great committee and a fun year. So it seems that the people we elect really do matter; shouldn’t their speeches portray who they are rather than merely how funny they are? Don’t get me wrong: I think Student Council speeches should be funny. I don’t spend Monday and Tuesday of election week waiting to hear candidates expound upon their platforms or credentials; I want to be entertained. A good speech should make us laugh, and a great speech should put us on the floor. A good sense of humor is essential in some positions, like Vice-President and Commissioner of Special Activities, yet I think that for some positions, like the Commissioner of Welfare and the Commissioner of Student Services, the funniest candidate is not always the best one. Mr. Clifft gave a chapel presentation two years ago in which he used statistics compiled by his classes to show what motivated students’ votes the most. He demonstrated that, in most cases, the quality of a candidate’s food at the street party influenced students more than the quality of the candidate’s speech, unless the speech was particularly funny. Knowing how to cook, owning a large grill, and having easy access to large amounts of food are no longer essential qualities of a leader, as they once were in hunter-gather societies. De- spite the similarities between hunter-gather societies and ours here at school, I think we should modernize the way we choose leadership, even to the extent of actually considering a candidate’s plans and pertinent qualities. I believe the best candidate is the one who can best fulfill the responsibilities of his office; therefore, a candidate’s plan for fulfilling his duties during the coming year as well as his ability to carry out that plan should influence students’ votes. I do not think that all speeches should be like the presidential speeches, but candidates should present the stu- dents with their credentials and plans that they have for next year. An extra thirty seconds should be allotted to each candidate to be used at the beginning of his three minutes to explain his qualities and plans. This way, students can not only miss a little more class but also vote intelligently. The speeches should stay funny or be even funnier, but they should also present the students with legitimate and pertinent reasons to vote for one candidate over another. M A Y 3 , 2 0 0 5 P A G E 5 v i e w p o i n t s Parity in Punishment? BY PARTH SHETH A little over a month ago, two MUS juniors got up in chapel and made an announcement that was intended to be humorous. However, it was immediately apparent that, not only was the announcement not particularly amusing, but it was offensive and directed maliciously at a particular individual. As with all offenses of this type, these two students were brought in front of the Disciplinary Committee. The pair was sentenced to three days of in-school suspension. Additionally, both students were prevented from running for Student Council offices. This punishment seems harsh at first glance, considering both boys made their announcement with no malice intended. It seems even more severe when compared to a situation that arose last year. During the winter of my junior year, several of my classmates stole the Junior English Review semester exam and proceeded to distribute this exam to whoever wanted a copy. The Honor Council found out about this cheating scandal and prosecuted all of those guilty of stealing the exam or receiving a copy of it. Those who actually stole the exam were rightly expelled; however, those who willingly obtained a copy of the stolen examination were let off with what amounted to a slap on the wrist. They were allowed to retake the examination and make up to a 65 on it, and they were given one day of in-school suspension during which they were able to study for their new exam. MUS is a school that prides itself on its Honor System and the effectiveness of its Honor Council. However, by punishing those who cheated with one day of suspension and those who crossed the bounds of good taste by three days of suspension, the administration is, in effect, saying that it is worse to be offensive or insulting than it is to cheat. In my opinion, this position is extremely hypocritical: we tell prospective students and parents that the Honor Council is the most important, most fundamental aspect of the school upon which everything else is built, yet we put less weight on an Honor Council offense than we do on an inappropriate chapel announcement. By punishing these two juniors far more severely than those caught cheating, the school has sent the message that cheating is less of a crime than an offensive or insulting chapel announcement. And while we should attempt to impose a measure of good taste upon proceedings at the school, we must not subordinate the Honor System to this desire for good taste. The school must focus on what is truly important; MUS must place an emphasis on strongly punishing those offenses which strike at its very heart: Honor Council offenses. A Look Back at High School: Part Three BY WARNER RUSSELL Good news or bad news, however you choose to take it, this is the last one of these articles I will be writing. Yes, that’s right; high school is over for me. April 29th has finally come and gone, and another chapter of my life is complete. I honestly can’t believe that my four year tenure at MUS is done. I’m overcome with anxiety about college, yet I’m wading in a sea of sorrow knowing that my childhood has ended. MUS has provided so much for me, but the thing that has set MUS apart from the rest, aside from the faculty and tradition, is the camaraderie. I came to MUS knowing very few people, and the ones I did know, I didn’t know well. The first few weeks were typical for someone at a new school. I waited for a good thirty seconds after getting my food just trying to find someone to sit with, and I usually just sat at the table absorbing the sundry conversations. This situation didn’t last too long, because before long I was surrounded by a great group of guys who had a lot in common with me. However, its not my personal friendships that I wish to discuss, it’s the overall atmosphere of brotherhood at MUS. I have been very lucky to be a member of an extremely cohesive class. I have heard stories and even witnessed examples of classes that, were by no means bad, but that just seemed to lack the fellowship with that the Class of 2005 possesses. Through times of struggle and through times of triumph, I have watched this class grow and had the honor of growing with them. It is no secret that our class has seen its share of hard times. The honor council scandal of 2003 is something that will always be remembered, but I believe that, in remembering it, people will see the dignity the Class of 2005 showed and respect the way we handled ourselves. One of the main principles of the MUS Community Creed is accountability, and those involved, whether directly or indirectly, in the scandal showed true accountability. Although it hurt us initially, in the long run, I believe that we only became closer and more respected through this testing of our character. My grandfather always told me, “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.” The Honor Council scandal is no excep- tion. It had the potential to drive our grade apart, creating a possibly irreparable rift, but instead we held our heads high and marched on never turning back, a feat that few could have accomplished. Now, for a happier example of camaraderie, who can forget the state championship season of 2004? Led by senior captains Kane Alber, Joey Friend, and Warren Grimm, the Owls did something many thought impossible. When I rushed the field the night after the MBA semi-final game, I looked at our seniors and realized that they and MUS as a whole deserved the victory. High fives and hugs were shared between senior players and their friends who didn’t play. This was one of those moments that brings a tear to the eye, though you try to hide it. As I hugged and patted the backs of those sweaty guys I felt a sense of pride that I can’t fully explain. I realized a week or so later that this year would always be remembered well by everyone involved. Our exemplary school spirit has brought our class together, and that spirit has propelled us to help create one of the most successful years that MUS has seen in some time. Through the good and bad times, the Class of 2005 has matured tremendously. I am sad to say goodbye to this class, but I know that we will always look back on this year, as well as our other years, with much fondness. Even though our time at MUS is over, the sense of camaraderie that we have enjoyed here will provide a lifetime of memories for us to enjoy. P A G E 6 T H E a m u s e m e n t s The Return of the Muscle Car Era BY JONATHAN LUNATI stiffer, faster, and better looking. A speed bump was placed in the muscle car rebirth as Some of the most famous Chevrolet pulled the plug on icons of the muscle car era are their thirty-five-year-old returning. Sure the Ford MusCamaro platform due to its tang never really left the scene, poor sales. Fortunately both and neither did the Camaro the Ford Mustang and the until 2003, but now tremenChevrolet Corvette held on. dous efforts are being made to Having seen Ford’s recent suc“retro-style” the cosmetics of cess with their all-new Mustang American automobiles. Simulplatform for 2005, Chevy is taneously, equally vigorous efnow planning to design a retroforts are being made to enstyled Camaro for their reintrohance cars’ performance capaduction of the Camaro platform bilities. This “retro-styling” is in 2007. What is really intriguan effort that is excellently exing about the modern muscle emplified by the new 2005 car era is the fact that now PickFord Mustang, but Ford was ups (like the Ford Lightning and not the first to capitalize on the Chevrolet SSR) are considered appeal of this revival. This remuscle cars, as well as wagons vival has really been occurring (like the new Dodge Magnum), ever since the muscle car era and even Jeep Grand Cheroended. kees, coming with an optional In the prime of the muscle 340 H.P. Chrysler-Hemi car era, generally defined as late Engine. The Golden Age of 1960’s to early 1970’s, cars muscle cars might have ended were reaching exorbitantly high with an oil scare in the 70’s, but levels of power and were areven with skyrocketing oil guably the most cosmetically prices, more “muscular” appealing muscle cars are becoming body styles to available than there have ever roll out been in a very long time, not of Detroit. to mention the ready availNumbers like ability and diversity found in 4 4 2 , aftermarket parts. Even 454,396, 427 popular culture has taken a and many othsudden strong interest in the ers quickly automobile industry. T.V. make true shows like TLC’s muscle car Overhaulin’ really exemplify fans drool, the beauty of muscle cars and these through their restorations. numbers are There has never been a beteven instilled ter time, in the history of the in the minds automobile, to be a muscle of people car enthusiast. The next ten who know. years are sure to be nothing Badges like short of spectacular, but we’ll Z-28,SS, Cobra,GT Major companies are leaning towards a retro-style look. Seen here are just have to see what Detroit Camaros, Mustangs, and Chargers with their vintage counterparts cooks up next 350,GT 500, and yes, even HEMI, have similar affects on the population. Rising gas prices and insurances companies, leery of folks like myself with 300-500 horsepower at the wheels, drove the muscle car era into hibernation to an extent. There were crazy-fast cars available throughout the late 70’s and 80’s, but most of them were not Americanmade, and those that were American-made were not major production vehicles: some companies offered pricy, special edition cars that had reasonably high amounts of horsepower relative to other cars of the era, but these were hideous: the one that comes to mind, of course, is the 1980-1981 Mustang Cobra. Mustang fans, after the Mustang II fiasco and the hideous and still underpowered Cobra, were about ready to give up on Ford. So Ford, along with Chevrolet and Pontiac, started stepping up their horsepower toward the end of the 80’s and into the early 90’s. Body styles were still not of the caliber of 25 years before, but clearly Detroit was realizing that people missed having a V-8 capable of 250+ horsepower under the hood. Throughout the 90’s, the muscle car era really picked up steam. Even companies like Dodge were getting back into the game. With the entry of their aluminum block V-10 powered Viper in December of 1991, the heat was back on. The 90’s brought about some of the best-looking and most powerful cars to come out of Detroit in over twenty-five years, and people started getting excited. Over the past thirty years, the engines have become more powerful, lighter weight, and more emissions friendly. From the year 2000 it seems that every year brings with it rapidly improved cars. Every year the cars get lighter, O W L ’ S H O O T M A Y 3 , 2 0 0 5 P A G E 7 a m u s e m e n t s Mars Volta Review BY WILSON CASTLEMAN With their groundbreaking 2003 debut, De-Loused in the Comatorium, The Mars Volta proved that there was indeed much new musical territory to be conquered. Their unique fusion of progressive rock, free jazz, punk, and Latin lit up the music world, and showed great potential from this band. With their second album, Frances the Mute, they have crafted an absolute masterpiece, covering nearly every aspect and genre of music imaginable, and doing so with the finesse and talent required to make this album the best of the new millennium. While some may call Frances the Mute pretentious or boring, I found it one of the most interesting, compelling, and exciting pieces of music to come out in years. Its only flaw, in my opinion, is the ambient noise between tracks that simply goes on for too long sometimes. Strangely enough, the only song that doesn’t contain any ridiculous filler is the marathon of a closer, “Cassandra Gemini.”Abig improvement on this album is the vocals: while sometimes annoyingly frantic on Deloused, they are much smoother on this album, and singer Cedric Bixler-Zavala often takes the opportunity to show off his excellent pipes. The album kicks off with a swelling acoustic guitar in “Cygnus...Vismund Cygnus,” but soon launches you into a fine example of the album’s new sound. The fast tempo and polyrhythms soon build into an exciting guitar solo, and the rest of the song winds through soft passages and points of great energy. “The Widow” is con- siderably shorter than the other songs (hey, they needed a single, I suppose), but has a powerful, mournful tone, largely because of the predominant trumpet, played by Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea, and a great chorus. My favourite track on the album was the upbeat, salsa-esque “L’via L’viaquez,” This song has a very smooth atmosphere, with strong accents of Latin music, and features most of the lyrics in Spanish. It also sports some absolutely excellent guitar solos, compliments of Chili Peppers guitarist John Fruciante. “Miranda That Ghost Just Isn’t Holy Anymore” is much slower paced, and again mournful, but puts out a very unique vibe. The jawdropping epic closer, “Cassandra Gemini,” takes you on a complete musical journey through prog-rock, jam, freejazz, Latin, and punk for almost 32 minutes. Strangely enough, this is the most compelling and focused track on the album, and is definitely one of my all time favorite pieces of music. This album is easily one of the best albums I’ve ever heard in my life. This could just be a first impression, but I think over the years, this album could easily stack up with my all time favorites. There is simply nothing like this right now, and you owe it to yourself to pick up a masterpiece of modern rock, and possibly one of the best albums of all time. Wilson gives the album 5 out of 5 buzzards. Walk Down the Right Back Alley BY PETER ZANCA eyes or hair). Also, the cinematography comes directly from After a bad experience with the angles used in the novels filmmaking in the mid-90’s, themselves. The script is alcomic book legend Frank most entirely unaltered from the Miller decided to keep his novels’ dialogue and narration. graphic novels out of the hands Other than the omission of a of Hollywood producers. few unnecessary transitional However, when approached scenes, Sin City the film is a by director Robert Rodriguez direct representation of the about his Sin City series, Miller novels. The film relates three of could not pass up the opportunity to see his stories come Miller’s most popular stories in to life on screen. Rodriguez, an order of release rather than avid fan of the graphic novels, chronological order. Each story promised Miller that he would takes the audience into the do his best to preserve the darkest corners of Basin Cityartist’s vision. In fact, -a politically corrupt, prostiRodriguez brought Miller on tute-ridden, morally bankrupt set to serve as his co-director. metropolis. The first story, “The The collaboration of their cre- Hard Goodbye,” follows ative talents combined with the Marv, an impossible-to-kill technology of digital filmmak- misanthrope, as he goes on a ing and special effects to cre- quest to avenge the murder of ate a film noir uncommon in Goldie, the only woman who mainstream American cinema. has ever shown him kindness. Frank Miller’s Sin City is a Marv’s journey leads him all the stylish, action-packed film with way to the head of the city’s a nostalgic feel. Presented pre- political corruption. 80’s burndominantly in black and white, out Mickey Rourke gives an the film will have the occasional enormously entertaining perforglimpse of color (a character’s mance as Marv, while Elijah Wood successfully creeps the audience out as Kevin. Rutger Hauer makes a cameo as Cardinal Roark, Marv’s eventual nemesis. The second story, “The Big, Fat Kill,” is the darkest tale of the three. In this story, Dwight (Clive Owen) ventures into the heart of the city while following out-of-control Jackie Boy (Benicio Del Toro). Jackie Boy leads Dwight Photo Courtesy of Yahoo! Bruce Willis plays Hartigan, a into Old Towne, Sin weathered cop City’s red-light dis- trict; however, in Old Towne, the ladies of the night are the law. When Jackie Boy crosses the line with one of the girls, he and his friends are slain in a back alley. In a cruel twist of fate, Dwight and the girls find out that Jackie Boy was actually a cop. Dwight then must go on a mission to get rid of the bodies before the girls lose control of Old Towne. The third story in Sin City is the most poetic as a retiring cop Hartigan (Bruce Willis) spends his last day on the force protecting a young girl named Nancy from a serial rapist (Nick Stahl). As a result of his actions and the corruption in the city, Hartigan is thrown into jail despite having saved the girl. Upon his release seven years later, he must protect Nancy (Jessica Alba) one last time from the rapist. Dealing with dark subject matter and violent actions, Sin City could easily have become a festival of gore and offensive language. Of course, many critics would say that this is, in fact, all that there is to the movie. The violence never stops from beginning to end with fistfights, guns, knives, swords, cannibalism, multiple castrations, dismemberment, and decapitation. However, the violence that is portrayed in the film does have a style to it. Also, there is much more to this film than violence, cool special effects, and a good soundtrack. There are many underlying themes of redemption, salvation, and sacrifice. Peter gives this film 4 out of 5 buzzards. P A G E 8 T H E O W L ’ S H O O T a m u s e m e n t s Jersey’s a Dump BY DAVID MINERVINI tion (they have over 100 dumps). The Garden State is On March 30th of this year, also the home of square danca tremendous blow struck the ing and Barbara Streisand. world of comedy. That day, New Jersey is the only state comedian Mitch Hedberg mys- that has a “state dinosaur.” teriously suffered a heart at- With Barbara Streisand and tack. The thirty-seven year-old dinosaurs running wild, it is obwas a stand-up comedian who viously risky to visit this New has been described as “the next England cesspool. Mitch Hedberg is not the Seinfeld.” Mitch was between shows when he died, alone in only soul that the state of New a hotel room in New Jersey. Jersey has devoured. In fact, Some people suggest that the a beautiful Beluga whale recomedian’s excessive drug cently swam up the Delaware habits contributed significantly River into New Jersey to comto his death; however, the mit suicide. According to Hedberg family has offered no CNN, “State officials said the statement regarding these ac- ten to twelve foot white whale was spotted near Beverly, cusations. Actually, the comedian did about eight miles south of the not keep his frequent drug use point where it was first spotsecret from the public. Rather, ted around noon Tuesday at Hedberg’s drug use played a Trenton.” Stephen Jones, a significant role in his stage char- New Jersey state trooper, acter and comedic perfor- said, “our enemy here is…the mance. Hedberg publicly ad- whale…we want the whale to mitted to using marijuana, al- get his…like…mad.” The pure cohol, and stimulants for a pe- evil that pulses from New Jerriod of ten years. But modern sey has now swallowed my fascience tells us that the real vorite comedian…and a reason behind the comedian’s whale. In reverence for the death was not drug use: it was dead, I leave you with an original Mitch quotation. the state of New Jersey. I wrote a letter to my dad Originally founded by Satan, New Jersey was estab- - I wrote, “I really enjoy belished as a colony that would ing here,” but I accidentally be free from any decent man- wrote rarely instead of really. ners, coy personalities, or ac- But I still wanted to use it so cessible roadways. Since its I crossed it out and wrote, “I founding, New Jersey has de- rarely drive steamboats, dad - there’s a lot of veloped into a **** you don’t snarling, metroknow about me. politan machine. Quit trying to act Currently, New like I’m a steamJersey leads the boat operator.” nation in indusThis letter took a trial manufacturing, chemical The world lost a harsh turn right production, car comedic genius in away... Mitch Hedberg theft, and toxic waste accumula- A Loose Interpretation BY PARTH SHETH The Interpreter, directed by Sidney Pollack, is an action thriller centering on the United Nations. Nicole Kidman is wonderful as Sylvia Broome, an African-born interpreter working at the United Nations. Returning to the UN building late one night to pick up a bag she left there, she hears a voice talking about assassinating Dr. Zuwanie, the leader of the fictional country Matobo (although this character clearly represents Zimbabwean leader Robert Mugabe) who, though hailed as a liberator 20 years earlier, has resorted to genocide to rule his nation. Dr. Zuwanie has been accused of war crimes and will be speaking at the UN in less than a week to defend his policies. Kidman reports the threat to UN security officers, who immediately inform the Secret Service (who are responsible for protecting foreign dignitaries on U.S. soil). Secret Service agent Tobin Keller, played masterfully by Sean Penn, is assigned to investigate Broome and protect Zuwanie. The interplay between Kidman and Penn creates several memorable scenes. These two great actors have great chemistry on screen and play off of each other well. Penn’s character moves believably from a skeptic of Broome’s claims to her protector. The two develop a closeness based on shared loss and sympathy for the other’s situation. Thankfully, however, Pollack spares us a romantic situation between the two major characters; such an interaction would have been not only implausible, but also detrimental to the movie as a whole. The closeness that does develop between the two seems far more genuine and believable. The movie has a sense of realism that is greatly enhanced by the fact that the movie was filmed on-site at the United Nations; The Interpreter was the first movie to be given permission to show the General Assembly Room. The introductory scene, which shows a security team clearing the UN buildings after a potential threat, has the realistic feel of a documentary. The scenes filmed in New York have an authentic feel as well. While the Interpreter is built on suspense, the ending is never in any doubt. And while there are a few interesting and unexpected plot twists, you know from the beginning that everything will turn out well. Pollack’s villains are very transparent and one-dimensional; all of them are thoroughly evil and malicious with no redeeming qualities. Many of the minor characters are completely insignificant and fail to arouse any sympathy or concern from the audience. Also, the final scene is unnecessary and seems tacked on simply to add a sense of closure to the movie. However, despite these shortcomings, The Interpreter is still a worthy film. The outstanding acting by and screen chemistry between Kidman and Penn and the realistic scenes in the UN building make The Interpreter a movie worth seeing, despite its somewhat weak plot. Parth gives this movie 3.5 buzzards out of 5. Photo Courtesy of Yahoo! Movies Tobin Keller, expertly played by Penn, interrogates Kidman as Sylvia Broome M A Y 3 , 2 0 0 5 P A G E 9 s p o r t s 2005 NBA Playoff Predictions: Squeaking By BY: JOSH EVENSKY We are in! After an up and down season, the Memphis Grizzlies have made the playoffs for the second-straight season. The goal of every team is to make the playoffs. While the Grizzlies accomplished this goal, the season was not as graceful as it could have been. After a 5-11 start, Mike Fratello took over for retired Coach Hubie Brown. Fratello did a great job of turning a lost team into a playoff team over a few weeks. But relief from a playoff berth did not come until late in the season. With a crucial four game West Coast road trip ahead for the Grizzlies, many basketball analysts began to think that the Minnesota Timberwolves would be able to pull off the miracle by replacing us for the eight spot in the playoffs. All the Grizzlies had to do was get one win in six or the Timberwolves had to lose one game in five. The clinch did not come until a loss at Minnesota against the Seattle Sonics sealed the Grizzlies fate. Earlier this year, I wrote an article for The Owl’s Hoot predicting the Grizzlies would make the playoffs as the fifth seed. While I was right about the playoff berth, my seeding was a little off. But hey, I did get eleven teams out of sixteen, not a bad ratio by any means! Now that the playoffs are about to start, I have again compiled a prediction list, this time for first-round match-ups and subsequent advancements: WEST 1. Phoenix Suns* 8. Memphis Grizzlies While the Grizzlies had an above average season, the Phoenix Suns exceeded all expectations. With a league-best record of 62-20, the Phoenix Suns enter the playoffs as the team to beat. With their run-and-gun offense, the Grizzlies will struggle to find the points to match the Suns’ game. Even though the Suns did not make the playoffs last year, I think that they will be able to get past a gritty, defensive Grizzlies team. Series = Suns in 6 (4-2) 4. Dallas Mavericks* 5. Houston Rockets Even though the Rockets play great defense, the Mavericks have too many weapons for Tracy McGrady and company to overcome. The loss of Juwan Howard, who is out with a heart problem, hurt the Rockets’ chances. Coach Avery Johnson and the Mavericks should be able to advance, but the fierce competition should make for a great series. Series = Mavericks in 7 (4-3) 3. Seattle Sonics* 6. Sacramento Kings Ray Allen and a defensively strong Sonics team should be able to handle the injury- ridden Kings. Series= Sonics in 5 (4-1) 2. San Antonio Spurs* 7. Denver Nuggets After an incredible post-All-Star break record of 25-4, the Denver Nuggets, under Coach George Karl, have been unstoppable. I would pick the Nuggets if they were playing any other team besides the Spurs. A healthy Tim Duncan, along with his experienced teammates, will be too much to overcome. Series = Spurs in 7 (4-3) EAST 1. Miami Heat* 7. New Jersey Nets Even with a star-studded backcourt of Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, and Richard Jefferson, the Nets have no one to stop Shaq. This should be an easy series for the Heat. Series = Heat in 5 (4-1) 3. Chicago Bulls 4. Washington Wizards* Injuries to starters Eddy Curry and Loul Deng should bring a disappointing ending to a great season for the baby Bulls. The Wizards should be able to advance to the second-round with stars Gilbert Arenas, Larry Hughes, and Antawn Jamison. Series= Wizards in 6 (4-2) 1. Boston Celtics* 5. Indiana Pacers This should be a great series with plenty of drama. Reggie Miller is playing in his final playoffs, so I doubt he will go out without a fight (Not a real fight, of course: Ron took care of that). The acquisition of Antoine Walker should give this talented Celtics team an edge against a depleted Pacers roster. Celtics in 7 (4-3) 2. Detroit Pistons* 7. Philadelphia Sixers This should be an easy series for the defending champions. Allen Iverson the benefit should be able to affect the outcome of at least one game. Pistons in 5 (4-1) SECOND ROUND West: 1. Phoenix Suns 4. Dallas Mavericks* Series= Dallas in 6 (4-2) CONFERENCE FINALS West: 4. Dallas Mavericks 2. San Antonio Spurs* Series= Spurs in 6 (4-2) 3. Seattle Sonics 1. San Antonio Spurs* Series= Spurs in 5 (4-1) East: 1. Miami Heat 2. Detroit Pistons* Series= Detroit in 7 (4-3) East: 1. Miami Heat* 4. Washington Wizards Series= Heat in 5 (4-1) 3. Boston Celtics 2. Detroit Pistons* Series= Pistons in 6 (4-2) * = team advancing to the next round Photo Courtesy of NBA Media Ventures Bonzi Wells’ efforts fell short in the Grizzlies’ Game 1 defeat Finals: 2. San Antonio Spurs 3. Detroit Pistons* Series= Detroit in 7 (4-3) P A G E 1 0 T H E O W L ’ S H O O T s p o r t s An Assessment of U.N.C. Hoops BY CHARLES ASKEW Many of you out there have come up to me in the last week, blurting out such ill-conceived phrases as, “North Carolina sucks!” and “Dude, y’all are screwed!” What you all are referring to is the mass exodus of the North Carolina roster to the 2005 NBA Draft. Sean May, who said at the rally after the National Championship win that he would be back again next year, is gone, along with Raymond Felton, Rashad McCants, and stellar freshman Marvin Williams. And that is without even mentioning the wealth of experience lost in the three seniors Melvin Scott, Jackie Manuel, and Jawad Williams. Now, the only components we have left from the National Championship team are highflyer David Noel, shaky point guard Quentin Thomas, whose only start this past season was a loss to Santa Clara, and Reyshawn Terry. One might ask himself who these players are, and this query would be justified: the three players together averaged only six points last season. That average won’t win you many games in the ACC. But let’s consider the other teams in the conference. Wake Forest, who lost in the second round of the NCAA’s to West Virginia, loses its best two players to the draft: point guard sensation Chris Paul and the man in the post, Eric Williams. Georgia Tech, who made it to the National Championship game in 2004, loses its outstanding point guard, Jarrett Jack, who incidentally looks like Cuba Gooding, Jr., and important seniors, Luke Schenscher, Anthony McHenry, Isma’il Muhammad, and B.J. Elder. Maryland loses its best player, John Gilchrist, and N.C. State loses the ever-overrated Julius Hodge. And who else is there? Oh yeah, that evil school down the road from Chapel Hill whose mascot is, appropriately, a Blue Devil: Duke. Congratulations to all Duke fans. The only players your team loses are Daniel Ewing, who must have grandchildren because he was there forever, and Reggie Love, who might have been the worst player in Duke history. Y’all get to keep your stars, J.J. Redick and Shelden Williams. In mentioning such high-class individuals, I find it necessary to mention that J.J. is a baby. Yes, he writes his own poetry because he is stressed about the fans that yell at him during the games and he wants to go on to ESPN to tell the whole country of his grievances. My sole response to his whining is a consoling “boohoo.” And if Duke were a civilized university, it would not want Shelden Williams to be on the court with the name of the school plastered on his jersey. One may ask why I’m so hard on him, but the truth is quite simple: Williams has to be the ugliest guy in ACC basketball history. His eyes are abnormally close together and are extremely far south on his massive forehead. I gag every time I look at him, especially when ESPN shows the close-ups while he’s shooting free throws. And besides, he was completely owned by Sean May this year. May had 20-20 games both times out against Coach K and his squad of misfits. But I guess we’ll have another season of dealing with those guys. It’s definitely going to be a long year. In addition, Duke has recruited two more annoying white guys: high school player of the year Josh McRoberts and assist man Greg Paulus. What about North Carolina’s recruits? Tyler Hansbrough showed his stuff in the World All-Star game a few weeks ago at the Fed Ex Forum: 30+ points, 10+ rebounds, and MVP of the game. Bobby Fraysor is a stellar guard from Chicago who shows signs of Kirk Hinrich. And two other guys, Marcus Ginyard and Danny Green, show great potential. And who wouldn’t want to start for the National Champions? There’s a bunch of playing time for a bunch of prospects that North Carolina will probably end up with. Don’t count the Tar Heels out just yet. Many of you might want to ask me, “What do you say to the annoying people that come up to you and say that North Carolina will stink next year?” Well, I’d say that I’m happy with taking the National Championship and running with it. It was great watching a bunch of great guys with great talent beat # 1 Illinois. They deserve to go to the draft. They wouldn’t want to take the chance of getting hurt their senior season. And, besides, they have the chance of being the first team ever to have four players go in the first round of the NBA draft, and probably five players overall. The UNC squad has been through a lot of adversity, adapting to a new coach and dealing with selfishness. They finally lived up to their hype and their history, and they gave a great coach and a great guy his first National Championship. Go Heels. Buzzards Speak Softly, Carry Big Sticks BY JOHN KLINKE This year the lacrosse team has been led by three captains: Dan Gibson, Jimbo Rainer, and Sam Sawyer. Seniors such as Ethan “Shockey” Knight, Mark “Bubba” Scales, and Cooper “Iron man” Hopkins have also played a large role in leadership for the team on the field. The team is 9-1 for the season with only one loss to CBHS earlier in the year. We are first in the Tennessee West Region, and we are third in the South and 65th in the nation. We started our season in Orlando at Disney’s Wide World of Sports; we won two scrimmages against a New Jersey team, and a game against a local team. Our first in-town game we lost against our city rivals, CBHS. The team has rebounded and learned from the loss, for since that game, we have been undefeated. Our change was due to the amount of leadership on the team. The captains as well as many seniors put the team back on track. Since then, the team has beaten teams such as McCallie, Lassiter, and CBHS; the win over CBHS sealed the number one seed for our team. The win over Lassiter was “the weirdest game ever” said Coach Dent on the ride home. Doug Boyer scored the tying goal with less than a minute left, and Dan Gibson had the winning goal with fifteen seconds on the clock. Those two players were the leading scorers that game. Gibson had six goals, and Boyer had two. Dan Gibson is leading in points while defensemen like Ethan Knight and Mark Scales lead the defense in takeaway checks. Jimbo Rainer, handsdown the best goalie in the state, also helped carry the team to many victories. We are looking forward to a strong finish to the season. The Semifinals and Finals of the State Tournament are on May 13th and 14th in Chattanooga. The team is getting prepared and Senior Goalie Jimbo Rainer is focused on bringing back the invaluable to the Buzzards State Championship to MUS. M A Y 3 , 2 0 0 5 P A G E 1 1 s p o r t s Tiger Takes Fourth BY OWEN MERCER After a major championship dry-spell beginning in 2002, Tiger Woods finally ended his “slump” in a playoff victory over Chris DiMarco. After shooting a 74 in the first round, Tiger got back on track by firing a 66 in the second round, placing him a lengthy six shots behind DiMarco. After shooting a 65 in the rain-delayed third round, Woods charged ahead to lead DiMarco by three strokes going into Sunday. Heading into the final round, golf fans prepared themselves for a showdown of major proportions. And this year’s final round was nothing short of spectacular. The two golfers separated themselves from the pack by the start of the final round and traded great shot for great shot throughout the round. Tiger started strongly with a birdie on #1, pulling ahead by four shots, but a bogey on hole 10 brought DiMarco back to within two. DiMarco pulled even closer with a birdie on 11, but he surrendered a shot with a bogey on 12, that famous par-three test of Augusta’s Amen Corner. DiMarco birdied 14 to once again bring the deficit to one, and both golfers birdied 15, relatively short par-five. With Tiger’s lead was at one when he misfired his tee shot to the back of the green on the par-3 16th. With Woods’ missed green, however, came an opportunity for greatness. Tiger saw the short game test and rose to the challenge, adding yet another historic moment to the annals of Augusta. Tiger’s tee shot on 16 left him delicate a chip that broke over 20 feet. Woods chipped the ball hole high, and then watched as it slowly broke toward the cup. Finally, the ball reached the hole, hung on the lip for a full, agonizing second, and then completed its final revolution by falling into the cup. The shot sent a huge roar throughout Augusta National’s towering pines, and the birdie gave Tiger a two-shot lead with two holes to play. The tournament looked to be within Woods’ grasp, but the drama wasn’t over. On both 17 and 18, Woods faulted with bogeys while DiMarco remained steady with pars, highlighted by a clutch up-and-down on 18 to tie Woods. The stage was set for a sudden death playoff. Woods and DiMarco returned to 18, and after each had split the fairway from the tee, the Masters’ outcome came down to midiron approach shots. DiMarco led and, as he had in Sunday’s regulation play, attempted to land the ball on the 18th green’s shelf. Sadly, though, the ball lacked the single yard needed and trickled down and off the green’s front. Tiger, seeing an opening, stuck his approach just above the flagstick. Minutes later, Woods had sank his 15-foot birdie putt and claimed his fourth green jacket. In his ensuing interview in Butler Cabin, Woods dedicated the victory to his ailing father Earl Woods, who is suffering from heart problems. With this monumental accomplishment, Tiger Woods joins the elite company of Nicklaus and Palmer as being one of only three players to win four or more Masters titles. International Soccer Heats Up BY AARON STRUMINGER If you took offense at the fans who participated in the brawl at the Palace of Auburn Hills, then you will be shocked by an incident that happened in Milan, Italy, a few weeks ago. No, the fans did not come onto the field, and the players did not go into the stands. However, unlike the incident in Detroit, players were injured. In the 72nd minute, Inter Milan seemed to tie the game at 1-1 against their city rivals, AC Milan. However, the referee immediately disallowed the goal and, soon afterwards, utter mayhem ensued. The fans were already frustrated because they were losing 3-0 in aggregate, or total goals scored in two games between opponents (whoever wins the aggregate moves on to the next match). Because of that frustration, the fans decided to create a fireworks spectacle. Unfortunately, these fireworks were actually flares that the fans had brought into the stadium. The throws were aimed at the referees and AC Milan players. One of the flares even hit the AC Milan goalkeeper, Dida, and he suffered seconddegree burns. This event signals a new low in player-fan relations. Fights are not rare in European soccer. At many stadiums, fans have been known to rush the field or go outside in order to get into fights with fans of the opposing team. Then again, these fights occur after the players have left the field, so they do not put innocent people into danger. The relationship between players and fans is completely different from the rela- tionship between fans and other fans. Fans should never, at any time, put players into danger. Unfortunately, this is not the first incident in which a soccer player has been hurt by a fan. Another occurrence in recent memory is the killing of Andreas Escobar. Escobar played for Colombia in the 1996 World Cup in the United States. At the end of the game, a ball deflected off of him and into his own goal. Soon after he had returned home, a crazed fan shot and killed the unfortunate young man. I wish I could say that this trend is going to stop, but this is just not the case. Instead, soccer fans are becoming rowdier and more willing to break laws, a dangerous habit and one that could cost the game dearly in ratings and respect. P A G E 1 2 T t h e H E b a c k O W L ’ S H O O T You face it everyday: the plaguing dilemma of which path to take to respective buildings in the school in order to minimize the number of strenuous steps. But alas, your troubles are over, for I have remedied this eternal conflict. No longer will you, the students of MUS, remain in the dark about your right. I have charted the number of steps in specific paths on the map and grid below. Think of this as my going-away present to underclassmen, and enjoy. M A Y p a g e 1,263 Steps to Greatness: A Campus Survey BY CODY CURTIS - 3 , 2 0 0 5