Priceless - The Good Life

Come to North Central Michigan and enjoy...
THE GOOD LIFE
Priceles
s
VOL. 5, iSSue 9 • SePTeMBer 2015
MI-Owned, MI-Grown
www.thegoodlifepress.com
Editor: I. M. Free
Published by The Good Life Press
featuring the area’s best dining and entertainment, retail sales and services
Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, a priest and three
other men of the cloth swapped their clerical garb for polos
and khakis and time out on the golf course. After several really
horrible shots, their caddy asked,
“You guys wouldn’t be priests by any chance?”
“Actually, yes, we are,” one cleric replied. “How
did you know?”
“Easy,” said the caddy, “I’ve never seen such bad
golf and such clean language!”
Behind every
successful man is his
woman. Behind the
fall of a successful
man is usually
another woman.
Co-workers sympathized as my mother
complained that her back was really sore
from moving furniture.
“Why didn’t you wait till your husband got
home?” someone asked.
“I could have,” my mother
told the group,” but the
couch is easier to move if
he’s not on it.”
If you want to make sure
you never see someone
again, the surest way to
accomplish it is to lend
them money.
Why do I have to answer security
questions to pay my bills?
Please tell me there are hackers
out there trying to pay my bills....
On your first day as
a new parent, walk
up to your baby and
cry louder than him/
her to assert your
dominance.
find many coupons and money-saving offers from our advertisers inside!
Mom & Pop’s One Stop
MINI MART
MINNOWS • LIVE BAIT • TACKLE
Coldest Beer and Pop in Town!
Ken’s Hooks Exclusively Sold Here - 56 Varieties
Check O
Our Pri ut
on e-Vapces
e-Liquids &
s
989-742-2014 • 19991 M-32 West, Hillman
Open Mon-Thurs 6:30am-10:00pm
Fri/Sat 6:30am-Midnight • Sun 6:30am-6:00pm
It’s about tradition.
Since its inception, the principle of the game of baseball has remained virtually unchanged.
At Auto-Owners Insurance, we’re about tradition too. Since our beginning in 1916, we’ve stood behind
our commitment to provide industry-leading service through the best independent insurance agents
in the industry. For all of your life, home, car and business insurance needs, contact one of these fine
independent insurance agents representing Auto-Owners.
Bud JonesAGENCY
Insurance
NAME Agency
TownRd.,
NameLewiston,
• 555-555-5555
4420 Salling
MI 49756
www.agencywebsite.com
(989) 786-2296
or (800) 547-3245
I really want a Popsicle but I’m
so not in the mood for
Freezer Jenga.
I wish my wife was one of
those government agents who
aren’t allowed to talk about
what they did at work all day.
The radiation
belts surrounding
the earth were
discovered almost
simultaneously
by VanAllen and
another scientist
named Fan.
VanAllen published
first, or else the
earth would have a
Fan Belt.
“Most children
threaten at times
to run away from
home. This is the
only thing that keeps
some parents going.”
– Phyllis Diller
“Do you ever wake
up, kiss the person
sleeping beside you
and feel glad to be
alive?”
“I just did and I won’t
be allowed on this
airline again.”
Up North
Friendly and
Knowledgeable
Service
GROWER SUPPLIES
Our Staff Have Over 65 Combined Years
in Otsego County!
Open Monday through Friday 10 to 6
Saturday Noon to 4 • Sunday closed
989-448-8778
845 S. Otsego Ave. Ste. B • Gaylord, MI
Follow Us on Facebook
for Periodic Specials
Your beliefs don’t make you a
better person. Your behavior does.
Twin Lakes Marina
Boats, Trailers, Hoists,
Motors, Sales
& Service,
Storage & Docking,
Cylinder Boring
989-786-2711
2460 Fleming Rd. • Lewiston
LE r FE E D i N C
L
i
M FeeD • FerTiLiZer • seeDs
.
3443 e. M-55 • PresCoTT, Mi
2 • The Good Life - september 2015
thank our advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
Tammy’s Bookworm
4482 West Houghton Lake Drive
Houghton Lake, MI
989-366-8891
HOURS:
Monday - Saturday
10am-5pm
Bring in Your Books to Trade for Credit!
5-year-old:
I’m supposed to
find out more
about my hero
for school.
Me: Aw, you
came to me.
September 17-21, 2015
Purchase $100 of
Pandora and Receive a
FREE Pandora Bead of
Your Choice (value $65 or less)
See store for details. Exclusions may apply.
5: Yeah. Can
you tell me
more about
Batman?
Available at
5226 North US-23
Oscoda, MI
739-1341
219 Newman St.
East Tawas, MI
362-3674
302 West Houghton Ave.
West Branch, MI
345-5710
www.branhamsjewelry.com
At the scale manufacturers’ convention,
people often wanted to weigh themselves
on different scales to see if they agreed.
However, some visitors abstained, not
wishing to advertise their weight.
A smooth-talking representative coaxed a
woman onto his scale by promising her that
he would not look and that she could even
cover the digital display so only she could
see her weight.
She finally stood on the scale, whereupon
a loud, mechanical voice from within the
machine announced: “One hundred and
sixty-three.”
the good life
Serving North Central Michigan
For advertising in Gaylord, Grayling,
Lewiston, Houghton Lake and Roscommon
Contact
Cindy Marsh
FIREMEN’S MEMORIAL
FESTIVAL
AMERICAN LEGION
POST #198
ANNUAL COLOR RIDE
BREAKFAST
september 17-20, 2015. Begins at
roscommon county Fire training
grounds (formerly known as the
roscommon Fair grounds). For all
the details, visit www.hlrcc.com
september 26, 2015 in lewiston. 8:30
- 11:30 a.m. For more information
please call 989-786-3525
BREWS N’ BLUES
FESTIVAL
JURIED FINE ART
EXHIBIT & RECEPTION
september 12, 2015 at skyline event
center, 3309 abbe rd, comins, mi.
good music! good food! good times!
noon to midnight on the grounds.
Visit www.skyline.events/
My childhood
left me with unreal
expectations about how
often I would see pies
used as weapons.
september 12, 2015, 5-7pm at
gaylord area council for the arts.
www.gaylordarts.org
AMERICAN RED CROSS
BLOOD DRIVE
Ongoing dates throughout
northern Michigan.
call 1-800-red-cross (733-2767)
or visiti redcrossBlood.org to
make an appointment.
Submit Your Group’s events to The Good Life
Community Calendar! See below for contact info...
For More Community Events, Visit Your Local Chambers of Commerce Online:
www.gaylordchamber.com • www.graylingchamber.com
www.lewistonchamber.com • www.hlrcc.com
www.sainthelenchamber.net • www.houghtonlakechamber.net
www.wbacc.com • www.oscodacountymi.org
I’m five feet, three
inches tall and
pleasingly plump.
Recently, after I had
a minor accident, my
mother accompanied
me to the emergency
room.
The ER nurse asked for
my height and weight,
and I responded
in a serious tone,
“Five-foot-eight, 125
pounds.”
Changing Grades
One semester when my brother,
Peter, attended the University
of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an
art-student friend of his asked
if he could paint Peter’s portrait
for a class assignment. Peter
agreed, and the art student painted
and submitted the portrait, only to receive a
C minus.
The art student approached the professor to
ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher
told him that the proportions in the painting
were incorrect.
While the nurse
pondered this
information, my
mother leaned over to
me...
“The head is too big,” the professor explained.
“The shoulders are too wide, and the feet are
enormous.”
“Sweetheart,” she
gently chided, “this is
not the Internet.”
The next day, the art student brought Peter
to see the professor. He took one look at my
brother and said, “Okay, A minus.”
Publisher and editor: Chris rayburn
the good life press
p.o. Box 92, lincoln, mi 48742
cell: 989-335-3642
989-590-2348
www.thegoodlifepress.com • e-mail: info@thegoodlifepress.com
If you would like your business to be featured
in the newest, funniest and fastest-growing
publication in the area, contact us TODAY!
Joke contributions are always welcome! send jokes and other funny stuff
to the address above or email.
We also invite non-profit organizations to send event information for our
community calendar for dates in october and early november.
Ask about our “Buy One, Get One
1/2 Off Special!”
Also See Our Northeast Michigan
Edition!
all materials presented in the good life are for your entertainment only. although we strive for accuracy, neither
the good life press nor its advertisers or other associates offer any warranty as to the accuracy of any information
presented in the good life. neither the good life press nor its advertisers or other associates will assume any
liability for typographical mistakes, misprinted information, or other errors.
The Good Life - september 2015 • 3
find “the good life press” on facebook
I really want a Popsicle but I’m so not in
the mood for Freezer Jenga.
WORD SEARCH
“Sci-Fi Film Festival”
Dave Korte
Agent
Serving Northern Michigan
From the Gaylord Area
989-731-3396 - Office
989-614-7105 - Cell
dkorte@farmersagent.com
Home • Auto • Life • Business • Specialty
rocks in Your Yard & garden or
rocks in Your Head. Buy, sell or Barter.
call 989-389-7507
7am ‘til 9am or After 7pm
Oscoda Senior Condos
aeon FluX
alien nation
aliens
armageddon
aVatar
cloVerField
dark star
death race
deJa Vu
donnie darko
Flatliners
FreeJack
FreQuency
gamer
godzilla
hulk
inception
iron man
Jumper
king kong
knoWing
men in Black
mimic
moon
outBreak
outland
pandorum
predator
push
red planet
rollerBall
scanners
serenity
signs
sleeper
slither
species
sphere
star trek
sunshine
superman
the aByss
timecop
timecrimes
transFormers
Watchmen
zardoz
After many years I’ve realized I’m allergic to beer. It causes me to
break out in places. Places I have no idea how to get home from.
The Over 55 Community
It’s Time for a Positive Change - Book Today to View!
I’m still not sure
If I wanted to drive my wife
how the church
insane, I’d secretly raise a colony
expects me to do
of bees & place one new bee
all that kneeling
inside of her car each morning
and standing and
for ten years.
praying on just that
one little wafer
they feed you.
A Yuppie was sent a ransom note saying that
he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the
country club at 10 o’clock the next day if he ever
wanted to see his wife alive again.
He didn’t arrive until almost 12:30. A masked
man stepped out from behind some bushes and
growled, “What the hell took ya so long ? You’re
over two hours late.”
“Hey ! Give me a break.” whined the Yuppie. “I
have a 27 handicap.”
I like how
adhesive
bandages come
in 2 varieties:
Stays on For a
Second Before
Falling Off or
Needs WD-40 For
Removal From
Skin.
For renT – 1-2 Bedroom Units from $650/month
All inclusive incld, WiFi, Cable, utilities and all the amenities
the building has to offer. • No dogs allowed
Call for more info at 1-800-386-7133
www.oscodaseniorliving.com
5951 N. Skeel Ave., Oscoda, MI 48750
*watches as both hands turn into
devils*
*looks over sink*
HAND SATANIZER
“Oh, this is just great...”
Fast Stop
Racing Fuel - Deer License - ORV Stickers
Bait - Food - Beer & Wine - Lotto - ATM
Accepting EBT Card
7039 W. Houghton Lk. Dr.
Houghton Lake, MI
(989) 422-4300
[first day as tour guide in New
York]
Me: that’s the Statue of Liberty.
Guy: what is she clutching?
Me [awkward long pause]: all the
liberty...
Monday - Saturday
Mufflers • Brakes • Auto Repair
Free Inspections
4 • The Good Life - september 2015
5 Acres or More - Top Price Paid
Call for FREE QUOTES on
Management Cuts to Improve Your
Land and Promote Better Re-growth
Also Selling Firewood - 8 ft. Lengths
SCOTT COLE (989) 335-0755
PAULA MOODY (989) 335-0355
e-mail: moody0355@yahoo.com
S S
NIDER’
CAR CARE
Alignments • Brakes
Front End Work
Tires • Exhaust • A/C
COMPLETE CAR REPAIR SERVICE 989-345-3936
962 W. Houghton Avenue
West Branch, MI 48661
www.sniderscarcare.com
Glennie Party Store
the Only
stop for
Package
Liquor in
glennie
HOME OF tHE BIggEr, BEttEr BEEr dEN
A Great Variety of Ice-Cold Domestic & Import Beer
Liquor * Lotto * Cigarettes * Snacks * Sodas * Videos
BAIT & TACKLE
3303 state rd.(M65) in glennie
989-735-2156
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was
mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying
the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe
his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s
mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s
a miracle!”
“Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside
the cover.”
Me: Nice new car, boss!
Boss: Well, if you set yourself
targets, work hard, stay focused, next
year I’ll be able to buy an even better
one.
Fresh out of high school, I found a job
cleaning the elegant home of an older
couple. Among other duties, I had to dust
their many imported carvings and petrified
collectibles as well as pick up after their pets.
One day I was astonished to find two
ivory fossils lying on the floor beside the
bookcase. I quickly picked them up and put
them back on the shelf. The next week the
same thing happened.
That afternoon my employer came into
the parlor, her faithful canine behind her.
Looking around, she eyed the bookcase.
“Tippy,” she asked the dog, “how do your
bones keep getting up there?”
Solution at the back of the paper
Buying Standing Timber
CROSSWORD
COLE FOREST PRODUCTS LLC.
thank our advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
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3. Foe
4. game played on horseback
5. Female sibling
6. expectant desire
12 7. of one mind
8. silence
10. dog cry
14 11. Wall covering
16. Bleak
17. Worry
18. Virile
19. Body of salt water
17
20. speech defect
21. social standing
22. traded 19
18
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William’s wife
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25 wife, she convinced him to see a doctor.
Being the concerned
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William was a little worried
whenRtheO
doctor
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nervousness, the first thing the27doctor did was to ask
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“Well,” William answered. “I seem to be getting forgetful. I’m
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never sure
I can remember where I put the car, or whether I
answered
letter, or where
I’m going,
or what it is I’m going to
1.aRemove
dirt with
a broom
do once I get there, if I get there. So, I really need your help.
5. Hush
What can I do?”
9. Idea
The doctor
for a moment, then answered in his kindest
10.thought
The intestine
tone, “Please pay me in advance.”
12. Mineral spring
Two mice
in a
movie
13.live
Texas
mission
studio warehouse and
are looking
food.
14. Onefor
of ten
equal parts
Suddenly one hears the
15. Depend
other
chewing.
16. you
Armed
conflict
“What did
find?”
he
Available at
asks.
18. Heath
“I am not
sure,”
comes
20. Get
to know
the answer. “It looks
like a piece of film
celluloid from an old
movie. Let me see... Ah,
yes. It is from ‘Gone
with the Wind.’”
“And how is it?”
“Not too bad. The book
was better.”
You’ll Love This Place!
3137 US. 23 South
Alpena, MI 49707
The Good Life - september 2015 • 5
find “the good life press” on facebook
GOOD FOOD, GOOD FUN
Dining and Entertainment
Loyal Order Of The Moose
Grayling Family
center #1162
W.o.t.M. chapter 827
QUICK SERVICE DELI STYLE BBQ
PLATES
Brisket • Pulled Pork
Combo (Brisket, Pork & Chicken)
4 Bone and Fries
1/2 & Full Rack Available
SLIDERS
SMOKED MEATS
Brisket • Pulled Pork
Chicken • Southern
SANDWICHES
The Cuban • Smoked Salmon
Mushroom Cheese Steak
MeMBers onlY
RIBS
7970 south grayling rd.
grayling, MI 49738
(989) 275-5478
Brisket • Pulled Pork
Smoked Chicken
FRIDAY ALL-DAY POLLOCK
Dine-in
or Carry-out
2970 Kneeland Street, Lewiston • 989.786.4167
www.facebook.com/TheSpotgrilleandsmokehouse
Open Tuesday-Sunday 11am-8pm
SATURDAY NIGHT
PRIME RIB
STARTING AT 4 PM, SERVED
WITH VEGETABLE, CHOICE OF
POTATO OR RICE
(989) 826-1013
2262 Deeter Rd. • Luzerne MI
Open Daily at 11am
After Labor Day: Tues/Wed/Thurs/Sun 11 to 10.
Fri/Sat 11 to Midnight. Closed Monday.
Vanderbilt, MI • 989-983-3550
smokers,
Thursdays are
September 12th swap meet
Bike Nights!!! Leathers, Bike Parts and much more. enjoy our
outdoor Patio
Saturday the 5th Labor Day
TUesDaY
aTV riDers
Customer Appreciation
riB nighT
WeLCoMe!
Entertainment with Exit 282
Horseshoe Pit • Karaoke Friday/Saturday Nights
Check Us Out on Facebook
e-mail: elkhorngrill@hotmail.com
A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day
and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown
for her fourth wedding.
‘Of course, madam,’ replied the sales clerk, ‘exactly what type and
color dress are you looking for?’
The bride to be said, ‘A long, frilly, white dress with a veil.’
The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, ‘Please don’t take this
the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more
appropriate for brides who are being married the first time, for
those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean.
Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice.’
‘Well,’ replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk’s
directness, ‘I can assure you that a white gown would be quite
appropriate. ‘Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain
as innocent as a first-time bride.
‘You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he
died as we were checking into our hotel.
‘My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the
limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding
annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.’
‘What about your third husband?’ asked the sales clerk.
‘That one was a politiciant’ said the woman, ‘and every night for
four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how
good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened.’
Fri/Sat Salad Bar
Check Out Our New
Dinner Entrees
KARAOKE
Call for dates
Find Us on Facebook for
More Entertainment Info
If you are lonely, dim all
lights and put on a horror
movie. After a while it
won’t feel like you are
alone anymore.
GUN
SHOW
SATURDAY
OCTOBER 3
2015
9:00AM
TO
3:00PM
SET UP 7-9AM
East Tawas
Community
Center
760 Newman Street
East Tawas, MI 48730
7 Blocks from US-23 Traffic Light
AdMIssIon:
Adults - $5.00
children Under 12 - Free
sponsored by with all proceeds towards the
eAst tAWAs FIre dePArtMent
Plenty of Free Parking • Table Fee $25 • Tables Available
Vendor Tables 90% Gun & Knife Related
For more information, call Bill (989) 329-0454
All State, Federal, Local Laws Prevail
Not responsible for lost or stolen property
6 • The Good Life - september 2015
“Nice” - first kangaroo to realize it
had a pocket
thank our advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
“Don’t let your loyalty
become slavery. If
they don’t appreciate
what you bring to the
table, you let them
eat alone.”
– Oprah Winfrey
Seven months
pregnant, my hand
on my aching back,
I stood in line at the
post office for what
seemed an eternity.
“Honey,” said a
woman behind
me, “I had back
pain during my
pregnancy. I was
bedridden for four
months because my
baby was sitting on
a nerve.”
PRNDL Transmission Service
and Auto Repair
4521 E. County Line Rd.
Hale, MI 48739
989-257-2005
40 S. M-65
Whittemore, MI 48770
989-756-2029 & 2039
WIFE: Please come out of there so we can
talk.
ME: [from cardboard box] I’m sorry, come
out of where?
WIFE: [sigh] Please exit the spacecraft.
Then the man in
front of me piped
up....
“You’d better get
used to it now. Once
those kids get on
your nerves, they
tend to stay there till
they’re 18.”
His mother couldn’t find MS Office, so he changed her wallpaper.
The Good Life - september 2015 • 7
find “the good life press” on facebook
I’ll call it smartphone when it
slaps me in the face before sending
a text to an ex.
Take The Good
Life along on
your vacations!
Send us a picture of
you and The Good
Life and win exciting
new Good Life
merchandise!
THE GOOD LIFE ON VACATION
This Month
’s
Winner
send your photo via email to
info@thegoodlifepress.com
or mail to p.o. Box 92, lincoln,
mi 48742
Just found a $5 bill
in the dryer.
-Adds money
laundering to
criminal resume.
Pick up Your Copy of Northeast Michigan’s
real estate and Home Service Guide Today!
The
Northeast Michigan • August 18, 2015 issue
Property
Guide
OF HILLMAN, INC.
FREE
Guy P. O’Neill of Trenton, MI on vacation at
Fox Run Golf Course in Grayling.
P.O. Box 98
Hillman, MI 49746
Bus. 989-742-4523
or 1-800-228-7856
Fax 989-742-3931
www.statewidehillman.com or www.realestate-mls.com
Call Kelli Ableidinger SALES ASSOCIATE or call larry samp BROKER
Cell: 989-464-7081 • kmableidinger@yahoo.com
Cell: 989-255-4369
Executive home offering the best view of Beaver Lake. Immaculate four
bedroom, 2.5 bath home with 120’ frontage on the lake. Large open floor
plan, beautifully trimmed in oak throughout. Exquisite master bedroom
suite with a sensational view of the lake. Beamed ceilings in the living
room and cultured stone fireplace. A beautiful deck wraps around the entire
side and front of the home offering ample space to entertain, the two car
garage is a summer time entertainment area. $399,900 # 487-15-0024
Three bedroom, two bath home with 66’ frontage on Beaver Lake. An additional 50’ frontage and two car garage can be
purchased for $79,900. The home features an open floor plan,
door wall to the deck offering excellent lake views. Finished
basement with tile flooring and fireplace, bedroom, and full
bath along with utility room. $179,900 # 487-15-0026
Spacious three bedroom, 1 3/4 bath home near Fletcher Floodwaters
and situated on approximately 7 acres. Lots of room for the children to
play in the partially finished basement, the other half is a two car garage.
Beautiful yard and lots of room to roam on the 7 acres which features
large shade trees and apple trees. All this on a paved county road, also
has natural gas for heat! $85,000 # 487-15-0028
excellent hunting ground with a two bedroom
home/cabin with all the amenities of home. Property
is nicely wooded, has been select harvested over
the years with excellent regrowth. Secluded yet on
a paved county road. Cabin comes completely furnished! $145,000 # 487-15-0031
Northeast Michigan Property and Home Services Guide
NeMiPrOPerTYGuiDe.COM
interested in Advertising? Call Chris rayburn at
989-335-3642 or Contact us via the Website!
8 • The Good Life - september 2015
thank our advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
HALE YES
Family Fun in the North!
Alward’s Market
Home Cured Meats
Bacon • Ham • Sausage • Jerky
BOB & KATHY ALWARD, OWNERS
118 S, Washington, P.O. Box 158, Hale
(989) 728-2315
www.alwardsmarket.com
Northwoods Building Products
large In-stock selection of Vinyl siding
Stone Veneer Products • Windows • Doors
Metal Roofing
800-323-7434
northwoodsbuildingproducts.com
Hale Barbershop
“Hair We Go!”
debbie Metz
Barber/Stylist
debbiemetz31@yahoo.com
119 S. Washington
Hale, MI
(989) 915-7726
Saganing Eagle’s Landing Casino & Hale Yes
Hot Air Balloon Festival
September 19, 2015
at Iosco County Fairgrounds
Schedule of Events:
5 K. Glow Trail Run, Friday night Register 7 pm, start at 8 pm from Eagle
Pointe Plaza. Proceeds benefit the 4-H Livestock Building Fund
Pancake Breakfast at St. Puis Catholic Church M-65 Hale 8 a.m.- 11 a.m.
sAgAnIng eAgles lAndIng PlAYers clUB at the Arts and Crafts
Show 9:00-8:00 p.m.
Antique Appraisal with Mark Moran 11:00 a.m. Eagle Pointe Plaza preregistration required information found on haleyes.org
Antique & Collectable Sale 9:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m. Eagle Pointe Plaza
Art for a cause 9:00am-8:00pm Iosco County Fairgrounds proceeds go to
the Plainfield Township Art Guild
Balloon Flights *Sept 18, 19, & 20 weather permitting Sunrise and Sunset
Balloon Glow *Sept 19 at dusk Iosco County Fairgrounds
Live music “Limelight” 1:00-3:00 Iosco County Fairgrounds
Balloon release ceremony 2:00 p.m. In memory or in honor of loved ones
more information at the booth Hospice of Helping Hands
Lisa Wheeler, Children’s Author Books Available to buy 11:00- 3:00
sponsored by Friends of the Library
Twister Joe- Balloon Artist
Children’s Bounce House – Free- sponsored by Party Renters
Children’s Games and Activities Sponsored by Friends of the Library
Magical entertainment by Michael G. Pearce Magician 2:00p.m.
Sponsored by Friends of the Library
Children’s Bird House Workshop sponsored by Bernard Building Center
Classic Car Show Iosco County Fair Grounds 11:00 a.m.-5:00p.m.
Antique Snowmobile Exhibit Iosco County Fairgrounds 9:00a.m.-5:005.pm
Fall Harvest Cook-off Mugs $7.00 Maps and mugs available at Information
area 11:00-2:00
Magical entertainment by Michael G. Pearce Magician 12:00-2:00
throughout the Fair Grounds
Food Vendors
Hale Garden Club Perennial Plant Sale 9:00 a.m. until sold out
Plainfield Township Fire Department Open House 11:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m.
Pony rides Petting Zoo sponsored by 4-H 11:00 a.m.-4:00p.m.
Tim’s Cabinet Shop
Pet Show Sponsored by Carey’s
Gentle Grooming Registration at
11:30-Show at 12:00
Wine tasting and A Taste of Hale
7:00 p.m. Eagle Pointe Plaza and
much, much, more
All activities will take place at the
Iosco Count Fair Grounds or Eagle
Pointe Plaza (former high school
building) except for the Pancake
Breakfast that will be held at St. Pius
Catholic Church
DuPont • CORIAN • Merillat
Granite • Quartz
info@timscabinet.com
www.timscabinet.com
For more detail on these
events, visit
www.haleyes.org
find “the good life press” on facebook
The Good Life - september 2015 • 9
HALE YES
Family Fun in the North!
Saganing Eagle’s Landing Casino & Hale Yes
Hot Air Balloon Festival
September 19, 2015
at Iosco County Fairgrounds
The Bear Store
6787 M 65
Hale, MI 48739
989-728-9981
Live Animal Educational Park
Beer ~ Wine ~ Liquor
Cabins & Motels
Souvenirs
Ice Cream
Balloon Fest sponsors:
Hale drug
Prescriptions • Gifts • Greeting Cards 50% OFF*
Yankee Candles • Picture Station
Alward’s Market/ Kathy Jane’s Boutique
Bear’s Den Restaurant / The Bear Store
Bernard Building Center
Brian’s Plumbing & Heating/ The Party Renters
Chemical Bank
Gary Oil
Hale Chiropractic / Mind Magik Tattoo
Hale Hardware / Buresh Funeral Homes
Hale Insurance / CPH Colvins Plumbing and Heating
Kocher’s Market / Hale Drug—Home Town Pharmacy
Savin Lake Services, Inc. / Carole Wilson Real Estate
Long Lake Bar / Corky’s Corner Store
Northridge Family Practice/ Progress Physical
Therapy
Scofield Real Estate
Tawas St Joseph Health System
Wilson’s Trucking and Excavating, LLC
Monday - Firday: 9am - 6pm • Saturday: 9am - 3pm
Phone: 989-728-9711 • Fax 989-728-2727
hale@hometownpharmacy.com
*valid while supplies
www.hometownpharmacy.com/refills
last/through
www.facebook.com/HometownPharmacyMI
September
www.mehvac.com
989-728-5955 or
1-877-879-8726
www.colvinsheating.com
Rob Streeter
For more information on events in Hale, visit
www.haleyes.org
Wells • Pumps • Softeners • Purification Systems • Repairs & Service
(989) 728-4011 • 1-800-842-2540
3120 M-65 • Hale, MI 48739
10 • The Good Life - september 2015
thank our advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
For the Kids
Word Search
Things to Wear
Unscramble
the Words
Wild Animals
1. rdee________________________
2. oldarep____________________
Gaylord
114 S. Center Suite 103
989-448-2700
www.DenaliHealthcareMI.com
3. zyglriz_____________________
4. nsukk______________________
But when I grew up I found out I wasn’t
qualified because of my poor eyesight. Now I
work in a post office which gives me many of
the same thrills.
I’m always pushing the envelope!
5. upomss_____________________
SHOES
DRESS
SHORTS
GLOVES
SKIRT
HAT
SOCKS
OVERALLS
SUIT
PANTS
SWEATER
SANDALS
TIE
SCARF
UNDERWEAR
SHIRT
VEST
Kids recipe
Homemade Applesauce
Kids activities should always be supervised by an adult.
Ingredients
•2 small red apples
•2 tbsp. lemon juice
•2 tsp. sugar
•2 pinches of cinnamon
Utensils
•knife (you’ll need help from your
adult assistant)
•blender or food processor
•measuring spoons
•serving bowls
Directions
1.Peel the apples and cut them into
small pieces. Throw out the core.
2.Put the apple pieces and lemon
7. anpsthea___________________
juice into the blender or food
processor.
Blend until the mixture is
20 by 20 orthogonal
maze
8. nroaocc____________________
very smooth.
3.Pour the mixture into two small
bowls and stir in the sugar and
cinnamon.
6. omonantuinli_______________
1. deer, 2. leopard, 3. grizzly,
4. skunk, 5. possum, 6. mountain lion,
7. pheasant, 8. raccoon
When I was young I dreamed of being a test
pilot. Flying higher, faster, farther. Risking my life
for the science of aviation.
BOOTS
A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known spot.
He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly
glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a
closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel,
reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices
a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails..
Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the
car and gently raps on the driver’s window.
The young man lowers his window .. ‘Uh, yes, Officer?’
The cop says: ‘What are you doing?’
The young man says: ‘Well, Officer, I’m reading a
magazine..’
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the
cop says: ‘And her, what is she doing?’
The young man shrugs: ‘Sir, I believe she’s filing her
fingernails.’
Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple, alone,
in a car, at night in a lover’s lane ... and nothing obscene
is happening!
The cop asks: ‘What’s your age, young man?’
The young man says : ‘I’m 22, sir.’
The cop asks: ‘And her ... what’s her age?’
The young man looks at his watch and replies: ‘She’ll be
18 in 11 minutes.’
Just got my Facebook account suspended for actually bothering
to read all of an article before I shared it.
Copyright © 2013 JGB Service, http://www.mazegenerator.se/
23
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The Good Life - september 2015 • 11
find
26 “the good life press” on
27 facebook
Answer to Crossword
1
2
S W E
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10
B
13
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15
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21
H
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14
W A
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12
16
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11
from page 4
N
Internet Explorer: so
about last night
Me:
Oh, I used you for a
E
Flash site.
T IE: Are we back together,
am I your default?
Me: don’t make this weird.
R
G
[Looking at ultrasound
monitor with my wife]
Wife: Look at it’s little
heart beating! Isn’t it
amazing...
Me: It looks like a
crossiant.
Across
1. Remove dirt with a broom
5. Hush
9. Idea
10. The intestine
Netflix will allow its employees
12. Mineral spring
unlimited maternal and paternal
13. Texas mission
leave
theparts
first year of
14. One
of tenfor
equal
15. Depend parenthood.
STICKERS
But
mostconflict
parents have been taking
16. Armed
just
a few days off and binge-raising Dad’s Taxi Service 18. Heath
now open 24 hours a
their
child in one sitting.
20. Get
to know
day, 7 days a week.
BUMPER
WORD SEARCH
“1990’s Songs”
I’m not drunk...
just intoxicated with
POWER.
Wife included with
purchase of vehicle.
Don’t follow me, I’m
lost.
Can somebody
invent a vaccine for
STUPID?
I don’t have a short
attention span, I
just...oh look, a
squirrel!
AGAIN
BABY, BABY
BAILAMOS
BARBIE GIRL
BELIEVE
BOOMBASTIC
CAN’T STOP
CRUSH
DANGEROUS
DOWNTOWN TRAIN
EMOTIONS
ENDLESS LOVE
EPIC
ESCAPADE
FANTASY
FUNKDAFIED
GETTO JAM
HONEY
IRIS
LET’S RIDE
LINGER
LONGVIEW
LOVE IS
MOTOWNPHILLY
MOUTH
MY WAY
NAME
NO SCRUBS
NOBODY
ORDINARY WORLD
PLUSH
REAL LOVE
RUNAWAY
SLAM
SMOOTH
SPOONMAN
STAY
STRONG ENOUGH
SUMMER GIRLS
THE SIGN
THIS KISS
TODAY
TOO FUNKY
TWISTED
UNDERSTANDING
UNSKINNY BOP
WEAK
WONDERWALL
Nice truck. Sorry
about what it’s
compensating for.
SARCASM...because
beating the crap out
of people is illegal.
Guns don’t kill
people. Dads with
pretty daughters do.
If I agreed with you,
we’d both be wrong.
I’m retired and this is
my office.
I’m glad they call themselves
attorneys-at-law. I wouldn’t want
to accidently hire an attorney-atbaking or an attorney-at-pottery.
in Our 36th Year in Business!
Hasty Manufacturing, Inc.
Sherni’s Candies
Home of the Chocolate
Covered Potato Chip
and Now Bugles!
Sherni’s Candies Also Available at
Brian’s Fruit Market, West Branch
Nester Creek, Prescott
Crossroads, Whittemore
Alwards Market, Hale
Party Trays
Available
No Order Too Big
or Too Small
Chocolate Covered Berries
Chocolate Covered Bugles
Old Fashioned Caramel Corn
Chocolate Outhouses
and Sugar-Free Treats
MADE HERE FRESH DAILY:
Real Chocolate
Milk-Dark-White
Butter Crunch • Fudge
Peanut Brittle • Roasted Nuts
Chocolate Covered Cashews
Old Fashioned Sea Foam
Chocolate-Covered Peanut
Butter Pretzels
Carmels Dipped in Dark
Chocolate and Sea Salt
Truffles and More...
OPEN 9 A.M. to 5 P.M.
open 7 days through christmas
35 North M65, at M55
Whittemore, Michigan 48770
989-756-3691
Keith, Sherry, and Brad Hasty
I quit smoking cold turkey one year
ago but sometimes I still get the urge
to go into the fridge and light up
a slice.
If you really want to get better at golf, go
back and take it up at a much earlier age.
Since bad shots come in groups of three, a
fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of
the next group of three.
No matter how bad you are playing, it is
always possible to play worse.
When your shot has to carry over a water
hazard, you can either hit one more club or
two more balls.
A golf match is a test of your skill against your
opponents luck.
Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must
subsequently make two triple bogeys to
restore the fundamental equilibrium of the
universe.
You can put “draw” on the ball, you can
put “fade” on the ball, but no golfer can put
“straight” on the ball.
Don’t buy a putter until you’ve had a
chance to throw it.
12 • The Good Life - september 2015
Sorry I’m late, I was waving
my hands at a paper towel
dispenser that turned out
to not be automatic.
Babbler
thank our advertisers, they supply you with the good life!
M
n
i
r
c
e
h
h
iga n
t
r
o
N
TOBACCO
Gladwin Store
Houghton Lake Store
Gaylord Store
The after-dinner speaker
just didn’t have a Stop
button. He burbled on
and on and on, oblivious
to his increasingly restless
audience. Finally one of
the more drunken diners
hurled an empty wine
bottle at him. It missed, and
hit the Chairman instead.
311 Cedar Avenue
Gladwin, MI 48624
(989) 426-7336
As the Chairman slid slowly
to the floor clutching his
head, he was heard to
murmur, “Hit me again, I
can still hear him.”
Large Selection of Glassware • Vaping & e-Liquids • Walk-in Humidor
2969 W Houghton Lake Drive • Houghton Lake. Mi
(989) 366-9909
MAKe YOur OWN SiX PACK,
OFFeriNG COLD AS WeLL
OPeN 7 DAYS A WeeK
1050 S. Wisconsin Ave.
Gaylord, MI 49735
(989) 448-2360
Special Blend Tobacco • Electric Vapor Pens in Stock
Large Selection of Rolling Papers • Scales and Grinders
If you’re robbing my
house, just bring a
second guy to eat a pizza
in front of my dog while
you take whatever you
want.
MiCHiGAN MiCrO BreWS
3087 Houghton Lake Dr., Ste. 2
Houghton Lake, MI 48629
(989) 366-7772
CHeCK
OuT T
HiS
MONT
H’S
SPeCiA
L
When the inventor of the USB
stick dies they’ll gently lower
the coffin, then pull it back
up, turn it the other way, then
lower it again.
HICKORY DICKORY DOCK CO.
* Aluminum or Steel Roll-In Boat Docks
* Cedar Top * Ells * Tees * Platforms
* Ladders & Benches
My son Zachary, 4,
came screaming out
of the bathroom to
tell me he’d dropped
his toothbrush in the
toilet. So I fished it
out and threw it in
the garbage. Zachary
stood there thinking
for a moment, then
ran to my bathroom
and came out with my
toothbrush. He held
it up and said with a
charming little smile,
“We better throw
this one out too then,
‘cause it fell in the
toilet a few days ago.”
My girlfriend called me
as she was driving to
an appointment. She
arrived, and I could tell
from her voice that she
was getting frustrated.
Finally she said, “I know
I had my cell phone
with me. And now I
can’t find it!”
I replied, “Aren’t you
talking on it!?”
13775 Hubbard Lake Rd. • Hubbard Lake, MI
(989) 727-3168
Visit us on the web at
www.hickorydickorydocks.com
There was a solid
period of stunned
silence as the reality
of the situation sank
in - followed by, “You
are NOT going to tell
anybody about this!”
I love how fresh & clean my
bathroom smells after I’ve
killed a spider with a full
bottle of windex.
You know you’re getting old when
you sound like a women’s tennis
match just trying to get out of bed.
WE ARE OPEN
Taking Care of Your
Medical Needs