No. 32 ..............................................April, 2001

News
Bulletin of the Harry Stephen Keeler Society
No. 32 .............................................. April, 2001
2
Keeler News No. 32
News
Bulletin of the Harry Stephen Keeler Society
ÒIt is this artificial relationship, this
purely fictional web-work plot, this bit of
life twisted into a pattern mathematically
and geometrically true, that fills the gaps
in oneÕs spirit which rebels at the
looseness of life as it apparently is.Ó
No. 32, April 2001
On our cover:
HSK by Jon Janecek
(see page 4)
EditorÕs Notes
As detailed in KN #24, the February 1927
issue of AmericaÕs Humor which included the
delightful ÒChina-Boy ChucklesÓ you see on our
next page also included AmericaÕs RumorÑ a
parody of itself. WouldnÕt it be fun to do something like that in Keeler NewsÊsometime as an
April FoolÕs stunt?
✍
On May 22 ChristieÕs is scheduled to auction the 120-foot-long scroll on which Jack
Kerouac spent 20 days in 1951 typing On the
Road. Estimated value: up to $1,500,000.
Keeler fans know that HSK also typed his
first drafts on Òribbons,Ó or continuous rolls
(see KN #3). Have any survived?
✍
Fender TuckerÕs always got another trick up
his sleeve. His latest: 10 Book Story, a 700+
page volume reprinting ten Keeler novels in
miniature. You must see it to believe it:
EditorÕs Notes....................................... 2
China-Boy Chuckles.............................. 3
An Interview with HSK........................ 4
A Sentence from the Master ............. 7
The Keyhole.......................................... 8
Letters.................................................. 10
Membership Update.......................... 11
Books for Sale..................................... 12
Published bimonthly by the
Harry Stephen Keeler Society
4745 Winton Rd.
Cincinnati, OH 45232 USA
513-591-1226
polt@xavier.xu.edu
http://xavier.xu.edu/~polt/keeler
Editor: Richard Polt
Production: Brent Kite
Subscription:
$10/year, North America
$15/year, elsewhere
ISSN 1524-2323
Fender sold this tome on eBay in March and
says it will probably be the only one ever made.
✍
Keelerian coincidences really do happenÑ
especially to Keeler fans. Mike Nevins visited
UCLA recently and stayed in a hotel which had
a bookcase in its lobby. One of the books was
the Ramble House edition of When Thief Meets
ThiefÑone of fewer than ten in the world!
✍
As we go to press, Ed Park is preparing an
article on HSKÕs writing techniques, to appear
in the April 17 issue of The Village Voice. Go Ed!
Keeler News No. 32
3
4
Keeler News No. 32
HereÕs a great discovery that Chris Wheeler made among the Keeler papers at Columbia
University. The piece is stamped ÒReprint from AMERICAN HUMORIST.Ó The date must be 1932. In
addition to this unattributed illustration, the article features the drawing on our cover. Caption:
ÒHarry Stephen Keeler, the author of ÔSing Sing Nights,Õ ÔThe Amazing Web,Õ whose gigantic new
350,000-word quadruple-length mystery story ÔTHE BOX FROM JAPANÕ becomes available today at
all bookstores and circulating libraries in the English speaking world. (As viewed by Jon Jan Cek, the
Chinese artist!)Ó Jon Janecek was a frequent contributor to 10 Story Book and drew the diagrams
for the Marceau books. Keeler dedicated The Mystery of the Fiddling Cracksman to Dilley and The
Wonderful Scheme of Mr. Christopher Thorne to Janecek.
For the purpose of gaining an interview, I
knocked on the door of Harry Stephen KeelerÕs
palatial north side Chicago apartment a couple
of weeks ago, and was admitted by a butler.
The butler was evidently of English extraction,
and had a stern, forbidding look on his face. In
fact, he was a gentleman of the old scowl.
ÒJeems,Ó I said, ÒI want to interview the
great Harry Stephen Keeler.Ó
ÒHÕIÕm sorry, sir,Ó replied the butler, Òbut I
donÕt know the great Harry Stephen Keeler, and
wotÕs more, my name isnÕt Jeems.Ó
ÒWhazzat, whazzat?Ó I snorted, ÒDoesnÕt
Harry Stephen Keeler live here?Ó
ÒYawss, hov course,Ó said the butler, Òbut
not the greatÊKeeler. The gent wot resides here is
as plain as an old shoe.Ó
ÒCut out the clever similes,Ó I bellowed,
Òand take me to your master.Ó
ÒOkay,Ó the butler relented, grudgingly, ÒIÕll
take you to him if I can find out which table
heÕs under.Ó
Keeler News No. 32
5
my hotel?Ó I inquired.
We started down a long hallway, lined with
ÒSo I could cut your throat!Ó replied Keeler,
tables. The butler looked underneath each table
as a strange glint came into his otherwise gentle
in turn, but there was no sign of Keeler.
eyes. ÒEver had your throat cut?Ó
We entered the spacious reception room.
ÒNo,Ó I replied, Òbut IÕve got an uncle thatÕs
ÒHeÕs not in here,Ó said the butler. ÒThere
a rabbi.Ó
arenÕt any tables in this room.Ó
ÒHaw, haw, haw!Ó roared
Into the dining room we
Keeler. ÒIÕll be he was the famwent, and there, on top of a
ily cut-up, all right, all right!Ó
table, was Harry Stephen
This exchange of cutting reKeeler, worldÕs foremost builder
marks seemed to put the mysof skyscraper mystery novels.
tery novelist in a good humor.
ÒYou said weÕd find him unHe descended from the table,
derÊa table,Ó I objected. ÒWhatÕs
and I noticed for the first time
he doing on top of one?Ó
what a fine figure of a man he
ÒOh, I forgot to tell you,Ó
is. His frame is that of an athreplied the butler. ÒThis is Mr.
lete, trained down to a fine
KeelerÕs ÔBeing DifferentÕ day.
point. He is tall and slender,
One day each week he practices
but one can sense the coiled
being different from ordinary
muscles lurking beneath his
humans.Ó
loose-fitting Chinese lounging
That sounded like male cow
suit of gunny-sacking trimmed
to me, so I decided to find out
with oyster shells. His wellfor myself. Reaching into my
shaped hands, which dangle far
pocket, I pulled out a paper of
below his knees, are those of an
pins. Walking over to Mr.
artist.
Keeler, who was reclining with
ÒWhy do your hands dangle
the posterior section of his
so far below your knees?Ó I
anatomy facing me and the butasked him, suddenly.
ler, I rammed one of the pins
ÒSo I can scratch my ankle
into him, clear up to the hilt.
better when it itches,Ó he
This well-aimed stab would
replied, without a momentÕs
have elicited cries of pain from a
hesitation.
lesser man. The famous Keeler,
Putting a friendly arm
however, merely turned his head
This Òportrait of Gilbert WhittimoreÓ
around my shoulders, he escasually, brushed his forelock
in The Marceau CaseÊis really, we
are informed in the acknowledgcorted me into his den. Seating
out of his eyes, and looked me
ments,
HSKÕs good friend ÒJim Dilley, himself on a luxurious divan, he
over from head to foot.
famous American joke-writer, of
motioned toward a chair, and
ÒIt takes more than the
Indianapolis.Ó
then filled two large pipes full
thrust of a bum humoristÕs steel
of opium, from a convenient
to bother me,Ó he said, scornopium barrel. He offered me one, and we were
fully. ÒRemove your weapon at once and leave
soon puffing away, quite contentedly.
me to my meditations.Ó
Between puffs at the pipe, I glanced about
Howling with rage, I yanked out the pin and
his den, curiously. There along the walls were
rammed it into the butlerÕs thigh. He bellowed
several of his own books, ranging in thickness
like a wounded sea-lion and fled from the
from six inches to seven feet.
room.
Having been a user of KeelerÕs products ever
That made me feel better, so I got out my
since I lived on the old farm in Brown county,
pencil and notebook.
where Sing Sing Nights, The Green Jade Hand,
ÒMr. Keeler,Ó I began, Òhow come you write
and The Matilda Hunter Murder CaseÊwere kept
mystery novels for a living?Ó
in our outdoor library annex, right next to the
ÒBecause,Ó replied the author, as he sat upSears Roebuck catalogue, I commented on the
right on the table, ÒI couldnÕt get a job as a
seven-foot volume.
liquor sampler with Kelly and Jaffee, nor a job
ÒI see youÕre going in for farm relief,Ó I
as Greta GarboÕs personal maid, nor a job as alstated.
ternate for the Sultan of Sexorocco, nor a job as
ÒYes,Ó he said, ÒThat seven-footer has got
a barber at that hotel where you live.Ó
the Soft-tissue people running around in circles.
ÒWhy should you want a job as a barber at
6
Keeler News No. 32
Why, Duttons have printed it on the softest,
finest paper you ever saw, and itÕs got detachable pages!Ó
ÒMigoodness!Ó I ejaculated. ÒWill you autograph a copy for me?Ó
ÒNo,Ó replied Keeler. ÒNo autographs today. This is my ÔBeing Different DayÕ.Ó
ÒOh, thatÕs right,Ó I said. ÒI almost forgot.
But tell me, what is the name of this new mountain of pages?Ó
10 Story Book, May 1930 (courtesy of Chris Mikul). Recognize the ghostly photo in the middle?!
ÒItÕs called ÔThe Box from JapanÕ,Ó said
Keeler, Òand is it a knockout? Brother, IÕm not
asking you, IÕm informing you. ItÕs laid in 1942,
and itÕs the weirdest, creepiest mystery novel
ever written. Yessir, itÕs the creepiest volume
ever placed before the American public. Man,
IÕm telling you, itÕs creepy!Ó
ÒWell,Ó I replied, if itÕs so darned creepy, I
can suggest a better title than ÔThe Box from
JapanÕ.Ó
ÒWhat title would you suggest?Ó asked the
author, curiously.
ÒIÕd call it ÔThe Bugs from JapanÕ,Ó was my
chuckling answer.
I ducked the opium barrel which the infuriated novelist hurled at my head, and just then
the door to his den opened wide, and in the
opening stood a gorgeous, divinely-shaped
woman, with the most beautiful brown eyes
imaginable.
ÒWho is that?Ó I inquired. ÒA character from
one of your novels? A Japanese cherry blossom
Snooze
Bulletin of the Tillary Steevens Conspiracy
No. 33.333 ............. April FoolÕs Day, 2001
WHY I FAKED MY
OWN DEATH
by Harry Stephen Keeler
110-year-old author comes out of hiding!
Reveals whoÕs really behind ÒStephen King,Ó
ÒJohn Grisham,Ó ÒBerthold LauferÓ!
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ
Ö-0
Keillor Nude? No! No!
Newt
Bulletproof of the Hara Stephen Kiri Society
ÒIt is this seldom-read motto, this purely
unintelligible scrap of gibberish, this
bit of verbiage twisted into a pattern
unrecognizable as human language, that
fills the gaps in oneÕs teeth that have
suffered from imperfect orthodontia.Ó
No. 33.333, April FoolÕs Day 2001
On our cover:
a cover illustration
and an indication
of the contents of
this issue
Ê
ÊÊÊÊ
EdtiorÕs Notes................................... Ö-0
Jugo-Slavian Jocularities...................... p
A Sentence from the Master ..... 0.004
Letters............................................ 0.004
Books for Sale............................... 0.004
New Members............................... 0.004
Why I Faked My Own Death ............. 5
How to Have More Sex ...................310
The Meaning of Life ............................°
Published bivalvely by the
Henry Stepney Koler Society
1.2 Kobweb Korner
Censornaughty, HO 23254 USA
1-800-GET-WEBBED
plot@xenius.xu.edu
www.completeobscurity.org
Editor: Dicky Plot
Production: Brite Barren
Subscription:
1¢/century, my armchair
$1/minute, elsewhere
ICBM 1524-2323
EdtiorÕs Notes
When I was buying a meatball sandwich the
other day at KellyÕs Deli I noticed that the guy
behind the counter was hairy. HeyÑmaybe he
was actuallyÑHarry! Get it?
Plus, the sandwich cost me $2.58Ñan even
numberÑand ÒevenÓ rhymes with ÒStephenÓ!!
And come to think of it, ÒKellyÓ is really
ÒKeelerÓ if you just make a few minor cosmetic
changes!!!
I just keep seeing more and more connections!!!! This is so exciting!!!!!
✍
ÒIf now the brain and spinal cord together
constitute that corporeal being-for-selfÊof Spirit,
the skull and vertebral column form the other
extreme to it, an extreme which is separated
off, viz. the solid, inert Thing. When, however,
anyone thinks of the proper location of SpiritÕs
outer existence, it is not the back that comes to
mind but only the head. Therefore, in examining
a way of knowing like the one we are now
dealing with, we can be satisfied with this reasonÑnot a very bad reason in this caseÑin order to confine this existence to the skull. Should
it occur to anyone to think of the back as the location of Spirit in so far as by it, too, knowing
and doing are no doubt sometimes partly
driven in and partly driven out, this would be
no proof at all that the spinal cord must be
taken as included in the indwelling seat of
Spirit, because this proves too much. For one
may equally recall that there are other popular
external ways, too, for getting at the activity of
Spirit in order to stimulate or inhibit it. The vertebral column is, then, rightly ruled out, if you
like; that the skull alone does notÊcontain the
organsÊof Spirit is as well ÔexplainedÕ as many
another doctrine of Ôphilosophy of NatureÕ. For
this was previously excluded from the Notion
of this relation, and for this reason the skull
was taken for the aspect of outer existence.
ÉÊWhat has been determined here in the first
instance is only that just as the brain is the living head, the skull is the caput mortuum.Ó
ÑG.W.F. Hegel, Phenomenology of Spirit.
In case anyone needs me to point out the
obvious, this crystal-clear passage (a) proves
that Keeler was a Hegel scholar, (b) provides
the clue to the real meaning of The Man with the
Magic EardrumsÊand its three sequels, and (c)
proves beyond a doubt that Hegel owned a
lavender gripsack.
Ch¾ler Gnus No. Googol
p
0.004
Key Learn Ooze No. NÕest
Letters
Harry Stephen Keeler saved my life.
It was January 1933, and I was on the way
back to my village from a long ice-fishing trip
with a full knapsack of haddock, when I was
hit by an unexpected blizzard. Quickly constructing an igloo, I settled down for a spate of
haddock fricassee, boiled haddock, and haddock haggis. Then it dawned on me: I had no
fuel! As I sank down upon my rump in despair,
I was permanently injured by a massive object
that protruded from the back pocket of my
parka. I then recalled that I had brought
KeelerÕs The Box from Japan to keep me company during my fishing expedition. The pages
of this fine piece of literature kept me and my
haddock toasty until the blizzard stopped five
months later.
Sven Sk¿lgŒrdthrupsen
Inuktitunukiak, Greenland
Did you know that the binding, when thoroughly
boiled, makes a nutritious meal or fashionable headgear?
A Sentence from the Master
That is all.
Sing Sing Nights
New Members
KratzenschneiderwŸmpel, Sophie,
2ÊKratzenschneiderwŸmpel Crescent,
Nauru, South Pacific
TerBush, G.W., c/o Dick C., 1600
Pennsylvania Ave. NW, Washington,
DC 20500, dubya@whitehouse.gov
Warsame, Ismail H., Keeler Society of
Puntland, Buuhoodle, Puntland,
warsame@buuhoodle.pu
From Exorbitant Finds, 3234 S. Wabash Ave.,
Chicago, IL 60616, suckeraminit@tartarus.com.
Add $50/oz. for shipping.
THE BOX FROM JAPAN. Dutton, 1932, not very
good, missing pages 1-688, strong haddock smell,
$5,280.
THE RIDDLE OF THE TRAVELING SKULL.
Triangle reprint, vg in vg dj, minor dusting of
anthrax on spine, $1,100.
SING SING NIGHTS. Ward Lock, date unknown,
had an unfortunate incident with a paper shredder,
dj may be present but itÕs hard to be sure, shipped
in Ziploc bag, $899.
THE SPECTACLES OF MR. CAGLIOSTRO.
A.L. Burt reprint, poor, 6" tear in spine, hairball
inside cover, dipped in acid, ex-library, signed ÒMy
Book by Jimmy Putz,Ó $650.
From You Are Dreaming Books Ltd., Fantasy-uponLyme, England, weloveyou@elysium.org.
Worldwide shipping included in price.
MURDER AT LITTLE IVINGTON. Long-lost
manuscript revisiting Marceau case, KeelerÕs
personal opium stash included, £1.
THE RIDDLE OF THE WOODEN
PARAKEET. Previously unknown English
publication of this late Keeler novel formerly
thought to have been published only in Portugal.
One of a bootleg edition of 12 printed in Macao in
1971 by the Keeler Kult, apparently a secret
society. Full-color dustjacket autographed by Andy
Warhol. £3.
THE SEARCH FOR XENO. Original serial
publication of a heretofore-only-rumored early
Keeler novel, bound in genuine orange sharkskin
and stamped Òex libris H.P. Lovecraft.Ó 50 pence.
STAND BYÑLONDON CALLING! Ward Lock,
1953, 1st, fine in fine dj, signed by author,
including personal letter by HSK revealing all his
most intimate secrets, £2.20.
KeelerÕs shoe and sock sizes!!!!!!
DonÕt miss the 23-page article
in the next
Nose
Pulletin of the Hairy Heathen Healer Society
7
Keeler News No. 32
disguised as an American beauty?Ó ÒNo!Ó
thundered Keeler. ThatÕs my wife. My wife!
What do you think of that, you worm?Ó
ÒI think itÕs swell,Ó I answered, Òbut IÕve got
a wife of my own who isnÕt such a bad number,
either.Ó
ÒThen go home to her!Ó shouted the novelist, Òand leave us to our meditations. Come
here, Hazel!Ó
The beauty with the big brown eyes went
over to her husband. I turned to the door. Just
as I was going out, I looked back over my
shoulder, and much to my amazement, instead
of the love scene I had expected to leave behind
me, the author was pushing his wife away from
him, as she endeavored to encircle him with her
lovely white arms.
ÒGet away from me!Ó he was saying through
clenched teeth. ÒGet away from me! DonÕt you
understand?Ó
His much-better half paused a moment.
Then a light crossed her face.
ÒOh, sweetheart, IÕm sorry,Ó she said. ÒI
remember, now! This is your ÔBeing Different
DayÕ!Ó
You should have seen me slam that door
behind me and pull out of that house toward
home and Madeline. Why, that sort of thing
might have become contagious! N
A Sentence from the Master
And the small 3 pusher propellors in the
back of the duraluminum-framed structure
holding the rotors, and below it all, held in
the 6 special clawsÑor whatever you call
ÕemÑ6 dumbfounded kicking elephants!
The Case of the Jeweled Ragpicker
THE KEELER CASE
A DOCUMENTED TALE
Experience it in the next
News
Bulletin of the Harry Stephen Keeler Society
MAKING NEWSLETTERS
THE MODERN WAY
Most back issues of Keeler News (#1-13, 1930) are now available online as PDF (Portable
Document Format) files. These can be read
and printed using any up-to-date computer.
For the moment, the existence of these files is
being advertised here and only here. Stop by
and let me know how you like these tasty
digital concoctions:
xavier.xu.edu/~polt/pdf
I also now offer an electronic subscription to
Keeler News. If youÕd like to have a PDF
copy of each new issue as it comes outÑin
addition to your paper copyÑjust let me
know at polt@xavier.xu.edu. You must be
able to handle large e-mail attachments
(several megabytes).
ITÕS COPACETIC!
(not an April FoolÕs joke)
ÒThe man who despises the applause of todayÕs multitude is seeking to live on among
generations of ever-new minorities É those
who win the hearts of the select few go on
benefitting from a fervent veneration, in a
small and secluded shrine perhaps, but one
which protects them from the inroads of
oblivion.Ó
ÑMiguel de Unamuno,
The Tragic Sense of Life
(For more celebrations of elitism, turn the
page and read this issueÕs Keyhole!)
8
Keeler News No. 32
Distributed by Jack Barrows to the Inner Circle.
The yhole
Your Chicago Newsboy
WALTER KEYHOLE
Reporting!
Vol. V. No. B-52 1/2-c.
[received by T.S. Stribling June 27, 1963]
.ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ.
VIGNETTE
He was an overnight guest of Edith McCormick, strolling lonely in the lee of the gathering evening in the
great rear gardens behind the tall ornamental iron fence at Oak Street and Lake Shore Drive. We were
very, very youngÑand had clambered up the vertical bars of the fence to where we could look over and
down on him, just as Walter today looks tolerantly down on the rest of mankind. He advanced as far
as the fence, paused, gazed up, asked us what our name was. He was fragile in build, silvery haired
and thin of hair as well. For some damned strange reason, instead of telling him the truth, that our
name was Walter, we lied and said it was Harry. Gazing up at us in the lowering evening, he nodded
benignly and said, ÒThatÕs a nice name.Ó Paused. Added generously, ÒMineÕs John.Ó Then turned off to
resume his lonely and sad stroll. He told the truth, too. As found 10 seconds later when the reporters
all galloped up in horsedrawn cabs, tearing out of the cabs with their bulky cameras and flashlight
powders. His name was John. John D. Rockefeller. The richest man in the world!
ONCE AGAIN WALTER KEYHOLE SCORES
on finding missing persons. Mahrea Cramer, artist, whose famous brawl at the Chicago Mystery
Writers of America with ÒYellow KidÓ Weil1 will go down in the history of drunken brawls because the
wrong person was carried out to the middle of the street and dumped. At a buffet-soiree yesterday in
Berwyn, given by Annette Victorin, Annette, Keyhole in hand, showed us MahreaÕs painting and told
us Mahrea was living in England and intending to stay there.
ÒMAN
lives in the satisfaction of his appetites, in fears, in struggle, in vanity, in distraction and amusements,
in stupid sports, in games of skill and chance, in greed of gain, in sensuality, in dull daily work, in cares
and anxieties of the day, and more than anything else in obedience and in the enjoyment of obedience,
because there is nothing that the average man likes better than to obey; if he ceases to obey one force he
immediately begins to obey another. He is infinitely remote from anything that is not connected directly
with the interests of the day or with the worries of the day, from anything which is a little above the
material level of his life. If we do not shut our eyes to all this, we shall realize that we cannot, at the
best, call ourselves anything but civilized barbarians, that is, barbarians possessed of a certain degree
of culture.
ÒThe civilization of our time is a pale sickly growth, which can hardly keep itself alive in the darkness of profound barbarism. Technical inventions, improved means of communication and methods of
production, increasing powers in the struggle with nature, all take away from civilization probably
more than they give.
ÒTrue civilization exists only in esotericism. It is the inner circle which is in fact the truly civilized
1This
famed Chicago con man (1875?-1976) is often mentioned in the Keyhole. (Ed.)
Keeler News No. 32
9
portion of humanity, and the members of the inner circle are civilized men living in a country of barbarians, among savages.Ó
So now we know something, anyway, about the kind and type of people who, for the most part, receive this cartulary. Omitting, of course, such monotracked felinoabhoriacsÑno, you wonÕt find that
word in your calepinÑas slither onto the mailing list. The excerpt is from a monograph,
ÒEsotericism and Modern Thought,Ó translated from the Russian by R.R. Merton. Communism?
HellÑno! ItÕs the complete antithesis thereof, the kind of utterance that makes Krushchev beat on
his own skull with both of his shoes. If any reader can prove otherwise, weÕll take him to Cubs Park
on the next opening day and together weÕll howl all afternoon like quarter-witted banshees! N
(continued from back cover)
From Canford Book Corral, Drawer 216, Freeville, NY
13068, phone 607-844-9784 (5-10 pm),
mcancell@clarityconnect.com. Shipping: $2 for 1st,
45¢ each additional book.
SING SING NIGHTS. Dutton, 1928, worn spine,
$35.
THE SPECTACLES OF MR. CAGLIOSTRO.
Dutton, 1929, 1st, vg, $60.
THE WASHINGTON SQUARE ENIGMA.
Dutton, 1933, 1st, good, $45.
THE WONDERFUL SCHEME. Ward Lock, 1937,
1st, fine in vg+ dj, $150.
From Second Story Books, 12160 Parklawn Drive,
Rockville, MD 20852, phone 301-468-9689, fax
301-770-9544, SSBMystery@aol.com. Shipping:
$5 for 1st, 75¢ each additional.
10 HOURS. Dutton, 1937, 1st, vg, $45.
THE VOICE OF THE SEVEN SPARROWS.
Dutton, 1928, 1st, vg, $50.
From Alan White, 8 Coldean Lane, Brighton, Sussex,
BN1 9GD, UK, 01273 680534,
templarbooks@aol.com:
THE VOICE OF THE SEVEN SPARROWS.
Hutchinson reprint, no date, £22.
THE WONDERFUL SCHEME. Ward Lock, 1937,
vg, £35.
From DustyBookS, The Old Woollen Mill, Shortbridge
Street, Llanidloes, Powys, Wales, SY18 6AD, UK,
phone +44 1686 411247, fax +44 1686 411248,
scribe@dustybooks.co.uk:
THE BOX FROM JAPAN. Ward Lock, 1939, vg,
£39.50.
THE CRILLY COURT MYSTERY. Ward Lock,
reprint, vg, £29.50.
Ramble House Editions
www.ramblehouse.bigstep.com
From Fender Tucker, 443 Gladstone Blvd.,
Shreveport, LA 71104, 318-865-3735 (night), 318868-8727 (day), fender@loadstar.com. Price for
HSKS members: $16.95 per book, Ramble House
pays shipping in North America. European orders
add $6, Asian orders add $8. You may pay by credit
card at paypal.com.
THE BOOK WITH THE ORANGE LEAVES
*THE CASE OF THE LAVENDER GRIPSACK
THE CASE OF THE 16 BEANS
THE CASE OF THE TRANSPOSED LEGS
THE CHAMELEON
Ê
THE FACE OF THE MAN FROM SATURN
THE FOURTH KING
THE MAN WHO CHANGED HIS SKIN
THE MAN WITH THE CRIMSON BOX
*THE MAN WITH THE MAGIC EARDRUMS
*THE MAN WITH THE WOODEN SPECTACLES
THE MYSTERIOUS MR. I
THE RIDDLE OF THE TRAVELLING SKULL
*THE SHARKSKIN BOOK
THE SIX FROM NOWHERE
WHEN THIEF MEETS THIEF
*New!
The Complete Skull-in-a-Box Series!
10
Keeler News No. 32
Letters
Fender TuckerÕs discovery of a way to copy
the manuscript of Six From Nowhere is great
news. Retyping is such a long and arduous task
(believe me) that I was thinking it would be
decades before everything was out. Now itÕs
possible that it might just be a few years. Well,
make it several years with all the stuff released
in Spanish and Portuguese.
Chris Wheeler
West Hollywood, Cal.
and of course I am so far the only admitted
Stephen. Can somebody verify my fears, or
must I be paranoid on my own, as usual?
Stephen van Beek
Toronto
Adventures in
Utilities Engineering, contÕd. É
Chris is the hero who retyped The Man Who
Changed His Skin.
I ran across the original source of ÒA Pocket
Edition,Ó a poem in The Riddle of the Traveling
Skull. It was printed on page 2 of the Chicago
Ledger (edited by HSK 1919-1923) on June 18,
1921, and attributed to Ida McIntosh Zumstein. I
sent a copy to Ram—n Zoido, who had previously
asked me about the poems in this novel. He
comments:
I have always been very struck by these few
and extraordinary poems that HSK introduces.
ÒA Pocket EditionÓ is a poem of strange
beauty, difficult to interpret, and very appropriate to HarryÕs intricate yet rational writing;
for this reason, I think the poem could very
possibly be his. If not, IÕm sure he liked it.
In this precious intellectual poem, in which
there is no sensuality, the feelings have to be extracted from the rational description of the central idea, which is the loving comparison with
the father. I have to confess that it took me a lot
of work to know what the poem was trying to
say and whether, in the end, it was keeping
quiet more than it said. This is without a doubt
an authentic Òwebwork poemÓ (if there is such
a thing).
Ram—n Zoido
Madrid
According to our revered editor, Richard
Polt, in February we numbered 38 intrepid
Keelerites, I not having yet paid my annual fees
in Canadian pesos, and I am struck with the
shattering observation that fully six of us have
surnames beginning with a K. As if this were
not disturbing in itself, Ken Keeler sports an
additional K. I confess to having K as an initial,
The solution to the puzzle is simple. Mr.
Sing, Mr. Wang and Mr. Yong need to be positioned on one side of the earthÕs surface, and
the oil, water and gas suppliers need to be positioned on the opposing side. Run the pipes
straight through the center of the earth! The
pipes are crossing, you say? No, my good man!
This is 3-dimensional time and space! By the
very same logic you could say that nine pipes
lying parallel to one another are ÒcrossingÓ if
you look at them sideways! That is the logic of
folded space-time! The 4th dimension É ÒXÓÊÉ
The Unknown!!!
Mark Allen
New York City
The problem with the Keeler Tri-Axial
Utility System [discovered by Fender Tucker]
would be in maintenance and repairÑthink of
the mess you would have when some accident
cut the system open. On the other hand, the gas
would insulate the water from freezing, and the
lost resistance heating from the electric cable
would warm it a bit too.
Ned (Cuyler) Brooks
Lilburn, Ga.
11
Keeler News No. 32
To H.S.K.
HereÕs a toast to Harry Keeler
And his skull jam-packed with oddness,
This celestial wheeler-dealer,
Plots awash with Oh-my-Godness...
HereÕs to Legga, Human Spider,
Dying offstage unlamented
(For the author chose to hide her
ÕNeath a tombstone well-cemented).
Every sentence of each story
Holds its own delicious shock,
Trailing clouds of Keeler glory,
ÑBabe from Hell and Barking Clock.
Webwork wonders wild and whacky
Greet the eye from A to Izzard,
From New York to Nagasaki
(His Chameleon is no lizard).
Once youÕre trapped in his dominion
Sanity will be forgotten,
Though consensus of opinion
Deems his writing rather rotten.
Still, thereÕs no one like our Harry;
His conceptions stand alone.
Let us read him and be merry,
Pile our tributes at his throne.
Dixie J. Whitted
Lakeside, Cal.
New Member
Whitted, Dixie J., 11837 Altadena Rd.,
Lakeside, CA 92040, dixilee@aol.com
www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Hills/
7387/Dixie
Returning Members
Allen, Mark, 57 Pitt St. #17, New York, NY
10002, logan5@ix.netcom.com
markallencam.com
Bradley, Geoff, 9 Vicarage Hill, South Benfleet,
Essex, SS7 1PA, England,
GHBradley@aol.com
CADSÑcomment and criticism about the
detective story
Groves, Adam, 2912 Pacific Avenue,
Manhattan Beach, CA 90266,
adamg7@gte.net
Reis, George, Imaging Forensics, 18627
Brookhurst St., PMB 324, Fountain Valley,
CA 92708, reis@imagingforensics.com
Shaw, David, 1464 Rogerswood Court,
Mississauga, Ontario L5J 1R6, Canada
Stott, Eric, 536 Warren St., Albany, NY 12208,
518-482-6080, estott@localnet.com
Thomas, Brian, 6438 N. Hamilton Ave.,
Chicago, IL 60645-5608,
psycho@psychotronic.com
Psychotronic Film Society,
psychotronic.com
van Beek, Stephen, 4 Washington Ave.,
Toronto, ON M5S 1L2, Canada,
stephenvanbeek@sympatico.ca
Zoido Zamora, Ram—n J., c/ Alicante 8, 4¼ B,
Las Rozas 28230, Madrid, Spain,
rzoido@aq.upm.es
Updated Information
Bjšrnsson, Eysteinn, B—ksala Stœdenta,
v/Hringbraut, IS-101 Reykjav’k, Iceland,
phone +354-570-0781, fax +354-570-0778,
eysteinn@boksala.is
www.hi.is/~eybjorn
Keeler, Ken, 2024 Westridge Road, Los
Angeles, CA 90049, kkeeler@ieee.org
12
Keeler News No. 32
In the past few months, the Keeler market has improved: many titles have become available, and many of them are
reasonably priced. Here are some recent offerings whose prices arenÕt too insaneÑor which are at least interesting
titles. Shipping prices are for US only.
THE BARKING CLOCK. Ward Lock, 1951, vg in dj, $150. Klanhorn, Johannesburg, South Africa, phone
27-11-648-7620, klanhorn@megaweb.co.za.
THE BOX FROM JAPAN. A.L. Burt reprint, 1932, good, $75 + $3.50 shipping. C.C. Saladino Booksellers,
P.O. Box 3462, Dana Point, CA 92629, phone 949-488-0692, fax 949-493-3538, sales@oldbooksforsale.com.
THE CASE OF THE TWO STRANGE LADIES. Phoenix, 1943, 1st, good, $55. Rare Reads, 203 Townsend
Place, N.W., Atlanta, GA 30327, 404-261-6236, Haygreg@aol.com.
EL CIRCULO BLANCO. Reus, 1965, 3000 pesetas (about $15). Librer’a PŽrez Gald—s, Hortaleza, 5, Madrid,
Spain, 28004, phone 0034915224230, fax 0034915312640, perezgaldos@interbook.net.
FIND ACTOR HART. Ward Lock, 1939, 1st, good, $25. Sam JohnsonÕs Bookshop, 12310 Venice Blvd., Los
Angeles, CA 90066, phone 310-391-5047, fax 310-391-5047, samjohns@pacbell.net.
FIND THE CLOCK. Dutton, 1927, vg, $30. Olde South Books, 541 Harding Place, Nashville, TN 37211, phone
615-781-1961, fax 615-781-0790, oldesouth@Home.com.
THE IRON RING. Ward Lock, 1944, good, £30. Albion Books, 18 Sussex Road, Southsea, Hants, PO5 3EX,
UK, mike@xxxx25.freeserve.co.uk.
THE MAN WITH THE CRIMSON BOX. Dutton, 1940, 1st, vg, $75. William Matthews, Box 535, Ganges PO,
Salt Spring Island, BC, Canada, V8K 2W2, 250-537-8719, bill@bookbill.com.
THE MURDER OF LONDON LEW. Ward Lock, 1952, 1st, vg, inscribed ÒFor Bill OÕBrien,Ó signed ÒH.S.K.,Ó
$450 including shipping. CA residents add 8%. ReadInk, 4525 Murietta Ave. #23, Sherman Oaks, CA, 91423,
818-990-1354, hprouty@LABridge.com.
THE RIDDLE OF THE YELLOW ZURI. A.L. Burt reprint, good in chipped dj, $20. Myopic Bookstore, 1468 N.
Milwaukee Ave., Chicago, IL 60622, 773-862-4882, myopic@outlook.net.
THE SPECTACLES OF MR. CAGLIOSTRO. Hutchinson, 1925?, 1st?, $55 + $7 shipping. Out-of-State
Book Service, P.O. Box 3253, San Clemente, CA 92674, 949-492-2976, opb@home.com.
THIEVESÕ NIGHTS. Dutton, 1929, good, $30. The BookChase, The Major Leonard Keep, 1835 Route 12,
Westmoreland, NH, 03467, 603-399-4989, bkchase@sover.net.
THE TIGER SNAKE. Ward Lock, undated softcover, good, £12. Belfast Book Search, Unit A201, Portview
Trade Centre, 310 Newtownards Road, Belfast, UK, BT4 1HE, phone +44 (0)28 90451385, fax +44 (0)28
90451385, belfastbooksearch@dnet.co.uk.
THE WASHINGTON SQUARE ENIGMA. Dutton, 1933, 1st, good in good dj, $45 + $5 shipping. Deja Vu
Books, Bolingbrook, IL, phone 630-258-7234, fax 630-759-3986, dejavubks@earthlink.net.
From Mordida Books, P.O. Box 79322, Houston, TX 77279, phone 713-467-4280, fax 713-467-4182,
mordida@swbell.net. Shipping: $5 for 1st, $1 for each additional book. Texas residents add 8.25% sales tax.
THE CASE OF THE TWO STRANGE LADIES. Phoenix, 1943, x-lib, reading copy, $25.
THE PEACOCK FAN. Dutton, 1941, 1st, x-lib, reading copy, $25.
THE PORTRAIT OF JIRJOHN COBB. Dutton, 1940, x-lib, reading copy, $25.
THE SKULL OF THE WALTZING CLOWN. Dutton, 1935, x-lib, reading copy, $25.
THE SPECTACLES OF MR. CAGLIOSTRO. Dutton, 1929, 1st, x-lib, reading copy, $25.
10 HOURS. Dutton, 1937, 1st, x-lib, reading copy, $25.
THIEVESÕ NIGHTS. Dutton, 1929, x-lib, reading copy, $25.
(continued on page 9)