Jul/Aug 2016 - Compassionate Friends

WALKING THIS VALLEY
TUCSON CHAPTER VOL. 34 NO.4
Tucson Chapter Meetings
Catalina United Methodist Church 2700 E. Speedway Blvd. Room H-232
Second and Fourth Wednesdays 7:00pm-9:00pm
July 13, 27
August 10, 24
September 14, 28
Welcome!
Our Support group meetings are for all bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings.
Coming to a meeting may be hard but, you have much to gain. Here you will find
comfort, caring people, and most of all-HOPE. Although it may seem overwhelming, we
encourage you to come to several meetings to decide if this group is for you. We are not
professional counselors. We are bereaved families who want to help each other. Please
join us as we heal.
WE’RE SORRY FOR THE REASON YOU’RE HERE, BUT WE’RE GLAD YOU’VE FOUND US
Tucson Chapter
P.O. Box 30733
Tucson, AZ 85751-0733
(520)721-8042
www.tucsontcf.org
National Headquarters
P.O. Box 3696
Oak Brook, IL 60522
Toll Free (877)969-0010
www.compassionatefriends.org
IN THIS ISSUE: MAUREEN, MAURICIO,
ELLILAH
In Memory of My Friend, Maureen Luikart
I met Maureen 4 and 1/2 years ago. It was 3 weeks after I lost my only child,
Jessica Rose. My Aunt Marlene, who lost her 23 year old daughter, Patricia Rose,
directed me to the Compassionate Friends. I remember walking into the meeting
room and being greeted by Kathie Davis. When she told me that she lost her son,
Drew who was 22, I knew this was a sign that I was in the right place. My
daughter was 22 also. Back then the regulars in attendance were Cindy and Guy,
Maureen and Carl, Sam and Phyllis, Carol and Larry to name a few. Sometimes it
was a couple words they said or a couple of sentences they said that I hung on
to, to make it to the next meeting. With Maureen it was her beautiful eyes and
sincere smile and words of encouragement that made me hang on. I tried to sit
next to her and Rain, her service dog, so I would be assigned to the smaller group
she was in after our opening. I cried every time I talked about my daughter.
Sometimes Rain would put her face on my ankle when I cried. It was that gesture
that got me through my next two weeks. Between these wonderful people and
Rain, that's how I survived.
About a year or so ago, Maureen stopped coming to our meetings after 9 years
of full participation. She did continue coming to our candle lightings and picnics.
She helped out behind the scenes. Maureen provided the butterfly cards we use
for our thank-yous, gave me poems to use for our candle lightings, read a poem if
we asked her, took pictures of our events, and would get Mayfield Florist to
donate a floral arrangement with a candle in it to use for opening our December
candle lighting. She and Carl always purchased tickets for the Jim Click raffle to
continue to support TCF.
Maureen started taking me to the Tucson Botanical Gardens. First we would go
to lunch. We'd talk a bit and then she would look at me and say, "So how are you
really doing?" Then we would both take our masks off that we wear for other
people and talk about our true feelings. We shared our love of nature and after our first trip to the Butterfly exhibit at the Gardens, she
had me hooked. We both love photography for a hobby. She has beautiful cameras and her pictures came out much better than mine,
but I truly loved our time there. Maureen taught me to find peace with these butterflies. We spent several hours there, watching the
exotic butterflies and taking photos.
2
On one of our visits, as soon as I walked in, a butterfly (which they tell us is nicknamed, the hitchhiker) landed on my pant leg and
stayed there for about 20 minutes! I walked all around the place with it on my leg. Maureen said, "Oh, there's Jessica!" We took
photographs. The "hitchhiker" close up is not significant in
appearance, brown with a yellow spot. But when it opens its
wings, it's absolutely beautiful- a bright blue.
Maureen started trying to get it to open up so she could get a good
photo, but it flew away then. She felt so bad, kept apologizing. I said
Maureen, it's OK. That would have been a great shot if you could've
gotten it. Besides, the hitchhiker was with me for 20 minutes. What a
visit! I've decided my third tattoo will be a beautiful blue butterfly on
my ankle in memory of my beautiful friend, Maureen Luikart.
-Debbie Russell, Mom of Jessica Rose
Fundraising, Love Gifts, and community support
This is the Shelby Mustang you could win through
the Jim Click Raffle! We have already beaten last
year’s sales. If you were at the picnic you heard
this baby purr!! You know you want it!!! Tickets
available now! 1/$25 or 5/$100.
Our Chapter recently renewed our contract with Cube
Smart. We have a climate controlled unit to store many
supplies we use at our candle lighting and picnic
events. They are giving us a $2 per month discount and
one month free.
We want to thank Lindsey Dowell, Director of Catering
at the Viscount Suite for arranging a room for our
steering committee meetings.
We also received funds from Raytheon through cyber
grants and Karina Carrasco through ECAP.
Thank you all for helping our chapter meet our
members’ needs!
This is the Shelby Mustang you could win through
the Jim Click Raffle! We have already beaten last
3
Birthdays, anniversaries, family events;
these events once looked forward to are
now anxiously anticipated. Most TCF
members have found that planning to do
something to honor their child helps. For
Ellilah’s remembrance day her Mommy
Melissa and Auntie Tara decided to invite
friends (including their compassionate
friends) and family to pack food at the
community food bank. We packed over 4000
bags and 900 boxes of food that day! Then
we joined together for pizza and
hummingbird cake. What a wonderful way
to honor this beautiful child! Ellilah, you are
treasured. Ellilah, you are loved. Ellilah, you
are remembered.
JAMIE ARNOLD
CARM-IDRELLE CASSEUS
ANDREW GAINES
ELISA GASTELLUM
JASON KRAUSE
Birthdays, anniversaries, family events;
these events once looked forward to are
now anxiously anticipated. Most TCF
members have found that planning to do
July Birthdays
something to honor their child helps. For
Ellilah’s birthday her Mommy Melissa and
MARK
BATES
JENNIFER BUNNELL
Auntie
Tara decided to invite friends
(including their compassionate friends) and
ELLILAH
ROSE
CHICO
family to
pack food
at the community foodJENNY CRIM
bank. We packed over 4000 bags and 900
boxes
of food that
day! Then we joined FRANK GARCIA
RYAN
GRIFFIN
GAMBLE
together for pizza and birthday cake. What a
wonderful
way to honor this beautiful child!
DONALD
GREENE
DAVID KETTUNEN
Ellilah, you are treasured. Ellilah, you are
loved. Ellilah, you are remembered.
GABRIEL LOPEZ
RAUL "RULLY" JR LOPEZ
MORGAN LOR
TIMOTHY PARFREY
DALE MELLBERG
MARINA ESTRELLA PALOMO
LANCE SENICK
LINDA STUBBINS
CHRIS MAIER
BOBBY PARKINSON
JASON PHANCO
SHAWN DOUGLAS RAMON II
ERIC SETH RUBOYIANES
TARA SWAIN
ALYSSA RILEY
KATHERINE RILEY
JOSEPH SHIELDS
CINDEE TURNER
JESSICA GRACE WING
NATHAN SPANGENBERG
COLETON DAVID DORMAN
BRYSE VASQUEZ
JAMES T. BUSEY
EDWARD VINCENT ANDREW RAMOS
4
Buddy’s Gift
On July 28th 2012, I made the hardest decision a parent can make, I said goodbye to my
precious baby boy Mauricio (Buddy). My family decided to donate his organs to donor network.
Three recipients were given another chance at life. A 9 year old girl received his liver,
two adults received his kidneys and pancreas. It took me three and a half years to read the
two letters that were sent to my family. I felt so emotional reading these letters that were
so bitter sweet. Today I want to share them with you. -Estella (Mauricio's Mom)
July Remembrance Days
PALINA ALDECOA
SEBASTIAN ALDECOA
PAIGE LOVE
JOSEPH (JAY) KAPLINSKI
CHRISTOPHER BREY
JAMIE ARNOLD
JENNIFER BAIN
JACK ATKINSON
MARTY BEDELL
PAUL BRUMBAUGH
JENNIFER BUNNELL
SELENA BURNEY
DREW DAVIS
WENDY CARBONEL
ALEAH CRUCE
MATHEW VYBORNY
KAREN FORD
TIMOTHY HESKIN
JAMES THELEN
ROLAND JAMES
DEVIN KAMBER
CLAYTON LEVIS
CASSIE RAIO
GABRIEL LOPEZ
SCOTT MILLER
ROLANDO MONGE
TODD PIERCE
ALYSSA RILEY
KATHERINE RILEY
JOE ROMMEL
JAMES SELBY
JAMES TURNER
ROBERT ERIC TURNER
JESSICA GRACE WING
MARTHA HARRINGTON
SHANTI CARLISI
KATHLEEN TEMPONE
REBEKAH MARIE MAY
MARINA MAY WALDRIP
GEOFFREY STENSON
MAURICIO B. SALAZAR
SANTINO MARTINEZ-PACHO
COLETON DAVID DORMAN
5
August Birthdays
MADISON ANGUIANO
TAMARA DAWN BASS
JADEN ELIJAH BLUE
BARRY BOYLE
CALEB CANDLER
BILL CARSON
AIDON COPFER
ASHLEY DENEEN
ALAN DOYLE
RACHAEL EDWARDS
EBERT S.R. EISSENSTAT
MARISA GALLEGO
RONALD GARDY
JARED GIDDINGS
LOGAN PALMER
TRACY ANN POLLINS
RICHARD HAYES
ROBERT HORSTMAN
MERCER JOHNSON III
NANCY KONERTH
MORGAN KOZSEY
BRIDGET MCCABE
SHAUN MOORE
JAMIE MULLINS, III
CHRISTOPHER PALACIO
MADISON RODRIGUES
LINDA VARGAS
GABRIEL ADRIAN GASTELUM
BENJAMIN ROHEN-TRAPP
JEFFREY SEWELL
DANIEL TATTRIE
OLANDO TRUJILLO
PRESTON WERNER
OHN WOOD
CLYDE BURKEY
SAVANNAH GRACE WATSON
ALEXANDER WHEATLEY
NATHANIEL LEWIS HEDGES
JA-MUS WHITFIELD
GLENN HARRISON WILLIAMS
MAXFIELD LANE WILLIAMS
August Remembrance Days
ARI BLATTSEIN
BARRY BOYLE
ROBERT BREMOND
ANNABELLE CAMP
BRANDIE CAMPBELL
KATIE CLARK
ZAC CLARK
ASHLEY DENEEN
OHN WOOD
TORRE LYNN CARLS
SEAN KELLY CATAUDELLA
ROBERT GLEN CREWS
ANTHONY JESUS DURON
LILY FAIRCHILD
SAMANTHA FULCO
SAMUEL GAFF
RONALD GARDY
JARED GIDDINGS
TYLER GROVE
SHANE HARVEY
WILEY HERREN
DANIEL HUGHES
MATTHEW KAUFMAN
AMY LOGAN
MELISSA LOPEZ
BRIAN MOHN
JUSTIN MOHN
SCOTT NEVINS
DONN OWENS
MICHEAL PESQUEIRA
NEAL REINACHER
BRODIE SCHMICH
NIKOLAUS SMITH
ETHAN STRASSMAN
WILLIAM TIDWELL
TINA VALENZUELA
JUSTIN WITT
CARMEN MARTINEZ RUSSO
CHADWICK THOMAS KENYON
JOE KEELING
PHILIP GANOTE
NATHANIEL LEWIS HEDGES
ERIC SETH KOVITZ
CHRISTOPHER J.R. HESSE
RAUL "RULLY" JR LOPEZ
6
39th Annual National Conference
This year’s conference will be held in Scottsdale from July 8-10. Online
registration ended on June 15 but you can still register onsite. The
Conference schedule is available on the national website (www.
Compassionatefriends.org) to help plan your weekend.
The Compassionate Friends National Conference is very proud to present
a performance by our very special guests Amy Sky, Olivia Newton-John
and Beth Nielsen Chapman on behalf of the LIV ON Project.
Walk to Remember
Even if you are not able to attend our 17th Annual Walk to Remember in
Scottsdale, Arizona, you can be a part of this heartfelt event by sending us the names of the child(ren) whose
memory you wish to honor. Your generosity will help us support all bereaved families who have reached out to
TCF, as well as those who today don’t know they’ll need our help tomorrow.
Submissions requested!
Pictures, poems, articles, letters to or
about your child, sibling or
grandchild can be sent to
newsletter@tucsontcf.org
Like us on Facebook: The Compassionate Friends-Tucson
The Compassionate Friends-Tucson “all-in-one” pen, stylus,
and light is available at meetings for $5.
Everyone loves Snacks: Fellowship is an
important part of every meeting. Please sign up to bring a snack to share.
This
can berequested!
on a birthday, a remembrance day, or anytime throughout the
Submissions
year. Thanks so much.
Pictures, poems, articles, letters to or
about your child, sibling or
IDgrandchild
Pins: Kevincan
Trapp
makes
be sent
to our ID Pins.
Send
him an email at
newsletter@tucsontcf.org
kjtrapp2001@yahoo.com with the photo
you want attached or bring a hard copy
(which will be returned with the
nametag). Include the first and last
name of the parent and the name and
age of the child. These name tags are at
no charge.
Photo buttons are now made at meetings. Bring your child’s
photo printed on plain paper (button is 3” round) and ask
anyone with a ribbon on their nametag for assistance.
7
Online Support
The Compassionate Friends offers an online support community. There are general and specific bereavement sessions, as
well as multiple moderated open and closed Facebook pages. Go to www.compassionatefriends.org and click on resources.
A weekly web radio series called The Open to Hope Show on Thursday at Noon ET is recommended by TCF as a grief/loss
resource and includes a phone-in portion. Find this show at http://opentohope.com
Other Grief Support Websites:
-
Alivealone.org
- angelmoms.com
- babysteps.com
- thegrieftoolbox.com
Bereavedparentsusa.org
- griefwatch.com (books and products)
-whatsyourgrief.com
Pomc.com (families of murder victims)
- save.org (suicide awareness)
- webhealing.com
Survivorsofsuicide.com
- taps.org (military death)
- missfoundation.org/
Mission Statement
The hope of The Compassionate Friends is that those who need us would find us and that those that find us would be
helped. TCF also provides information to help members be supportive to each other.
OTHER TUCSON SUPPORT GROUPS
Listed below are a few other local support groups. In addition to these organizations, Tucson has several other general grief
support group meetings held at churches.
Information & Referral Services 800-352-3792
Homicide Survivors, Inc 520-740-5729
FOOTPRINTS-Pregnancy and Infant loss 520-873-6590
Tu Nidito/Children to Children 520-322-9155
Soulistic Hospice Grief and Recovery Group: Annise Miller 520-820-6610
Chapter Steering Committee
Leader: Debbie Russell Co-Leader: Melissa Chico
Editor: Diane Allison
Contributing Editors: All members
Outreach/Correspondence: Estella Salazar
Facebook: Melissa Chico, Cat Morrow
Website: Julie Shulick
New Attendee Coordinator: Cat Morrow
Library: Debbie Russell
Treasurer: Noelle Rohen
Co-Treasurer: Bertha Martinez
Facilitators:
Kevin & Kristin Trapp, Cindy Walter, Melissa Chico, Tara Chico,
Carolyn Manka, Kim Teschner, Javier Gallegos
Regional Coordinators: Barb & Gene Caligari, Chandler, AZ
Chapter Steering Committee
Unless expressly stated, the viewsLeader:
expressed
in articles,
poetry,
etc. in Walking
This
Valley are not necessarily the views
Debbie
Russell
Co-Leader:
Melissa
Chico
of The Compassionate Friends, The Chapter Steering
Committee,
or the Editorial Team. The Editor reserves the right to
Editor:
Diane Allison
edit any contributions.
Contributing Editors: All members
Outreach/Correspondence: Estella Salazar
Facebook: Melissa Chico, Cat Morrow
Website:
Julieetc.
Shulick
Unless expressly stated, the views expressed in articles,
poetry,
in Walking This Valley are not necessarily the views
New
Attendee
Coordinator:
CatEditorial
MorrowTeam. The Editor reserves the right to
of The Compassionate Friends, The Chapter Steering Committee, or the
Library:
Debbie
Russell
edit any contributions.
Treasurer: Noelle Rohen
Co-Treasurer: Bertha Martinez
8
Non-Profit Org.
U.S. Postage
Paid
Tucson, AZ
Permit No. 2296
A National self-help, non-profit organization for families who have experienced the death of a child
THE TUCSON CHAPTER
P.O. 30733
Tucson, AZ 85751-0733
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