chiang mai diary this charming man?
Transcription
chiang mai diary this charming man?
SP DR EC ESS IA L THE MEMBERSHIP JOURNAL OF THE BEAUMONT SOCIETY · ISSUE 91 THIS CHARMING MAN? Paige Turner TRAN IN TH S E C Amy J ITY Harr is INTERVIEW WITH DREW CHIANG MAI DIARY Martina Tyler MELISSA PHOTO SPECIAL INCLUDING HARROGATE AND SPARKLE 2015 TRANS NEWS n FASHION PAGES n TRUE IDENTITIES n PHOTO PAGES n COFFEE BREAK Holidays We are a trans aware friendly company. Why are we different? We are different because we will give the respect and service you require irrespective of where you are on the gender spectrum by all the people employed in our company. After all why shouldn’t we? If you choose to make your holiday booking with Select Travel Holidays, we will be delighted to donate £10 per person to the Beaumont Society Charity. For more information or to book please contact sales@cruiseselect.co.uk or telephone 01234 819560. Meet the Cruise Select team Rachel Tracey Bella Sharon Julie Sarah Shelley Visit our websites www.cruiseselect.co.uk or www.selecttravelgroup.co.uk Providing unparalleled customer service is our number one priority 01234 819560 www.cruiseselect.co.uk www.selecttravelgroup.co.uk 67 Goldington Road, Bedford MK40 3NB sales@cruiseselect.co.uk & quote ‘Beaumont’ www.facebook.com/cruiseselectbedford contents 06 32 President: Kay West 26 THE BEAUMONT SOCIETY was established in 1966 Charity status granted (2010) Registration no. 1135548 Membership Annual membership of the Society currently costs £29, for which you receive four issues of this magazine 22 In this issue Autumn 2015 · Issue 91 4. President’s Comment 28. True Identities 6. Sam & Ellie’s Fashion Pages 30. The New Woman Electronic membership is now available for those who do not wish to receive a magazine in the post, with the magazines available to read on the website. If you have any questions about membership, or would like to join, please get in touch with your regional organiser (phone numbers by area on 01582 412220) or Jane Hamlin the Membership Secretary (beaumontmembership@btinternet.com) Application forms can be downloaded from our website (http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk) 10. Transgender News 32. Managing Conflict 12. Why I Became a Member 34. Mishaps and Misdemeanours 14. Trans and the Spirit World 36. Dressed to Kill 16. Trans and the City 38. Interview with Drew 18. This Non-Binary Man? 40. Managing Depression 20. Chiang Mai Diary 42. Trans Lakes The Beaumont Quarterly Magazine is published and produced by Goldmine Media 24. Harrogate Summer 2015 45. Coffee Break Creative Designers: Jennifer Kirk / Stephanie Wright 26. Sparkle 2015 47. Helplines Sub Editor: Patsy Bearman 03 president’s comment PRESIDENT’S COMMENT HELLO MEMBERS Unfortunately, I need to start my report with some sad news. It is with regret that I need to inform you of the passing of one of our members, Lesley Saunders. Lesley was my eyes and ears of the North East, as we still do not have a Regional Organiser for that area. She was conscientious and very caring and was always there to offer help to those who needed it. Lesley was be sadly missed by all who knew her. I would like to take this opportunity to announce Judith Dene has taken on the role of Regional Organiser for Scotland. Judith will work very closely with Sarah Whyte, Area Organiser for Scotland, and together they will deal with issues in Scotland. At this point I would like to thank Jackie Neill for her past work as the Scottish Regional Organiser. We also have a new Fashion Editor, Gill Springgay, who many of you already know as our Makeover Girl. I want to extend a very warm welcome to Gill, who will be taking over from Eleanor Roberts who is leaving us, but I would like to take this occasion to offer my most sincere thanks to Eleanor for all the hard work she has put into this very popular column. I would also like to inform you that Beaumont Partners should have a support line up and running by the end of September. More details of this new service will be available in the next issue of the magazine and on their website. Regarding the Huntingdon venue: our request for someone to take over the running of this historically successful monthly meeting has not come to fruition, so the last scheduled meeting in November draws closer. We are always looking for volunteers to help out, so if you have some spare time and would like to get more involved with the Beaumont Society, Autumn Issue 91 Cover Photo: Melissa De Freitas at Kay’s Harrogate Weekend. Photo Credit: Rachel Dee Notice Annual general meeting of the Beaumont Society Charity Trust. The AGM will be held during Janett Scott’s ‘Ladies Rotherham Weekend’. please email me at kay.west.online@gmail.com as I would be more than pleased to hear from you. The Beaumont app is now available for those with an Apple iPhone or iPad, but in the future it should become available on a wider platform of devices. As many of you are already aware I hold two social weekend events in the Cairn Hotel in Harrogate. This venue is not a closed hotel; we are mixing with the general public, and as attendees we are ambassadors for the Trans community. I would like to stress that friends and all members of the family are more than welcome to attend my events, as integration is a very important part of acceptance which will lead, one day hopefully, to no one having to keep being Trans a secret. If anyone is wondering what breed the three beautiful puppies jumping all over me in the photograph in the last edition of the magazine were, they are Samoyeds and were about eight weeks old at the time. My kindest regards to you all, Kay Submissions Do you have something you would like to add? Would you like to feature inside the Beaumont magazine? Please send your stories, letters and contributions to kay.west.online@gmail.com and, you never know, we may include it in the next issue of Beaumont Quarterly. 04 All members, plus the general public are cordially invited to attend but please note, only Society members can vote on any resolutions. Details of the meeting are as follows: Date and time: Saturday 21st. November 2015 at 13.30 hrs. Location: Holiday Inn, West Bawtry Road, Rotherham S60 4NA. Agenda t 8FMDPNFBOEJOUSPEVDUJPOPGUIF Executive Committee. t Minutes of the meeting held on the 15th November 2014. t Presidents Report. t Treasurers Report. t Membership Report. t Re-election of Trustees t Any other Business. If you have anything you would like to be discussed and are unable to attend, please submit your request to the Executive stating your name and membership number and we will do our best to raise the issue under any other business. There will also be a wives and partners meeting which will commence at 2.30pm. Details of which rooms the meetings are being held will be advertised in the hotel foyer. SAM & ELLIE’S FASHION PAGES W e’ve decided to run another fashion section dedicated to one area of fashion, this time dresses. We love dresses, not just because they solve the problems caused by trying to match up separates, but because a well-chosen dress is a thing of beauty when clothing a shapely human form. Evening dresses, day dresses, prom dresses: we love them all! We also think that too many women are too conservative when choosing dresses, only opting for plain colours. Why not try a dress with a bold or animal print? Why follow the dictats of the ‘fashion police’? It would do us all good to wear something bright and eye-catching occasionally. Some of the women we see at some of our local venues look fantastic in their bright, patterned dresses. It can be good to throw away the rule book occasionally! As we said last month, we’ve been writing these fashion pages for eight years and think it time for someone else to take over and give the fashion content of the magazine a fresh look. If you’d like to have a go, then please contact Kay. It’s been a pleasure to produce the fashion pages during those eight years, and we’d like to thank Bella Swan for allowing us to try out the idea of a fashion section, and Kay for encouraging us to continue with it in recent years. We’ll still be writing for the magazine but in other ways. Love from Sam and Ellie. TH E ISSDRESS UE 06 CHOOSING N POC EXT A-L COR KET DR INE AVAI AL AT £ ESS IN 3 LAB LE 5 AND TO 2 IN SIZE S 2. A-LINE A-line dresses are fitted at the hips and gradually widen as they approach the hem. This gives them the look of the letter A, hence the ‘A-line’ name. Very popular in the 1950s and 1960s, the A-line dress is still a closet classic. Common necklines include halter-neck and strapless. A-line dresses are a good choice for many trans women because they help to give the illusion of wider hips. sam & ellie A DRESS STYLE STRAPLESS Strapless dresses end at the top of the bust and are held up by their fit and often by an elastic band which sits just under the bust. Many types of strapless dresses come with a built-in bra, though some do require the use of a separate bra for best effect. Trans women should choose this style of dress only with a great deal of care. You really don’t want it to slowly slide down your torso, revealing the fact that you are wearing falsies. It may be safer to choose an alternative style with thin straps. M& “FLO CO BO DRE RAL SHUTIQUE S £79; S RETA UTTER” IL IN S IZES ING AT TO 2 0. THE ‘LITTLE BLACK DRESS’ The original all-purpose dress for every woman, the ‘little black dress’ is a staple in every wardrobe, small and large. Slimming and revealing in all the right places, little black dresses are usually uncomplicated, elegant and easy to wear. The cut depends on the body type, but as the name implies, little black dresses tend to be short. JA NAV CQUES V Y SELL MAXID ERT R ING AT £ ESS 199. SHIFT Shift dresses are simple, cut above or on the knee, and typically sleeveless. The bust is fitted via darts, and the skirt is either straight or slightly A-line. First seen in the 1920s, the shift dress grew in popularity in the 1960s and has remained a stylish option since. ONE- SHOULDER One-shoulder dresses can range from a simple one-shoulder shift dress to a gown in which the single shoulder is turned into a bold feature. Some one-shoulder dresses are created by effectively tying the dress material at the shoulder, rather than cutting a shoulder shape. 07 sam & ellie S S DRE E U S IS THE STYLING A Finding the right party dress and then matching it with the right accessories for an evening out can be difficult. Here are some tips. TIP 1: WORK ON THE WHOLE LOOK When putting together a party-dress look, you should avoid having too many points of interest. A dress with many design details, for example, should not be paired with a large pair of earrings or shoes that also feature excessive design elements. Instead, choose one area of focus and then use the rest of the elements in the outfit to supplement or complement that central detail. A dress with a large ruffle detail, say, should be worn with small earrings that pull out a specific colour in the dress. Likewise, very ornate earrings can be used as the focal point in a pairing with a very simple party dress. In this way, you can achieve an overall balance that shows an elegant sense of style. TIP 2: MAKE-UP CHOICES AS AN ACCESSORY ITEM When applying make-up to go with a party dress, consider it as a key part of the overall look. Just as with wearing jewellery or selecting a pair of shoes, the make-up choices should reflect a sense of balance. A strong lip, for example, in a deep red can act as an accessory item. On the other side of the spectrum, very dramatic eyes with a more subtle lip look can be another way to create an overall effect. “DE DEBENH B SILV UT” MU AMS SELL ER MAX LTIWAY AVAI ING AT IDRESS £ LAB LE I 99 AND N UP T O18 SIZES 08 TIP 3: LET THE PARTY DRESS STEP ASIDE FOR A BOLD NECKLACE As mentioned earlier, the party dress does not always need to be the centre of attention. A particularly dramatic choice is to find a bold necklace that acts as the focus and then pick an elegant, strapless dress that complements the necklace but does not get in its way. This can be a great look for women who like to show their shoulders. TIP 4: MAKE A CLUTCH THE JEWELLERY ITEM IN A PARTY DRESS LOOK A beaded or detailed clutch can function as a jewellery item much in the same way a necklace or bracelet might. Consider pairing M& “PO S LINE SHIF PPY PR AR NAV T DRE INT” S Y AT £ MIX. S S IN A ELLI 39.5 NG 0 TO 2IN SIZES 4 sam & ellie PARTY DRESS lipstick can leave you looking as if you’ve just stepped out of the 1950s. The idea should be to create an overall, balanced effect with different colours working together. TIP 8: ALWAYS CONSIDER PROPORTION Considering proportion in a party look is always essential. Large volumes of material, for example, can only work on a few body types, while minimal looks are also restricted to just a few. Small women should stay away from oversized dresses and big, heavily accessorised looks. Likewise, tall women should stay away from micro minis and small accessories but can better get away with a large pair of earrings. Women who are full-figured should concentrate on creating a proportioned, hourglass silhouette and should not use a lot of fabric and a big look to hide behind. WR EVE IST LEN FRO NING G GTH ML LOV BOX IGHT IN ES AT £ T 4.37 HE an ornate clutch with a banded bracelet worn on the arm carrying the clutch, and then choose a minimal look in the rest of the outfit. Go for a slightly plainer necklace and earrings to allow the wrist and clutch to be the centre of the look. TIP 9: UNDERGARMENTS SHOULD STAY UNDER While it has become common and accepted for undergarments to show to a degree in a woman’s outfit, letting this happen in an evening or party look does not work. You should find undergarments or shapewear that work perfectly with a dress and do not show or peek out. TIP 5: CONSIDER BODY TYPE WHEN STYLING A PARTY DRESS Accessories can also be used to distract from less flattering parts of the body. You might try a shawl or shrug to distract the eyes from your hips if you are self-conscious about them. Another example might be wearing a wide belt to distract attention from a very large bust. There are many ways in which you can use accessories and styling to either flatter or balance out your figure. TIP 6: DON’T IGNORE GLOVES While not as common as they once were, dress gloves can still work as an effective part of a party dress. For very formal affairs, they are a more obvious choice and can add just the right amount of refinement to a long evening gown. Gloves can also work, however, at more casual events. They can be used as a unique accent with a retro look, for example, while gloves that end at the wrist can accentuate the controlled lines of an elegant pencil-style dress. You should experiment and see what one-of-a-kind moments you can create with the right pair of dress gloves. TIP 7: AVOID BEING TOO ‘MATCHYMATCHY’ Compiling a look should never be about matching all the colours in an ensemble. A solid, red purse, for example, should never be TIP 10: PUT ASIDE THE HEADGEAR The right fascinator or hat can be a great touch at certain events, but, by and large, when dressing for a party, you should allow your face and hair to shine through clear and true. Hiding behind an ornate hat or headpiece will only detract from your own look and leave you being an accessory to your own hat. M PRIN&CO FL SELL T MAXI ORAL AND ING AT DRESS £29 AVA SIZE ILABLE .50 S TO I 20 N worn with solid, red shoes anymore. Instead, you should focus on contrasting, or using each accessory to hit a different note in a look. Matching the purse to the shoes to the 09 TRANSGENDERNEWS TILLY THE TRANSGENDER TEDDY A woman has written a children’s book starring a transgender teddy bear after being inspired by her father who transitioned into a woman. Jessica Walton, 30, a secondary teacher turned public servant who lives in Melbourne, and her wife welcomed their 18-month-old son Errol into the world shortly after her father became Tina. However, Walton was frustrated by the lack of books aimed at young children that featured transgender characters – so she decided to create her own. The book, Introducing Teddy, tells the story of a transgender teddy bear who shares her true identity as Tilly with her best friend Errol, and is quickly accepted with open arms. The self-published book is being crowdfunded through a Kickstarter campaign. Walton wrote the book after discovering there were few children’s books available for her son that she felt reflected her own family. According to The Guardian, Walton decided to ‘write the book we wanted to read to our son’ herself. Thus, Tilly the teddy bear and the subsequent Kickstarter campaign were born. According to Walton’s bio on her Kickstarter page, this will be her first published picture book. ‘Being transgender is not a problem,’ says Walton on her Kickstarter video, which is filled with her own family photos. ‘It’s only a problem when society makes it one...we can all do so much better.’ The book will be finished in early December, and the money raised will be used to pay for illustrator Dougal MacPherson, print production, shipping costs and Kickstarter fees. by Poppy Willis LAUNCH OF THE FIRST MISS TRANSGENDER UK PAGEANT A transgender woman has launched the first Miss Transgender UK pageant to help other transitioning women feel like royalty. Rachael Bailey, who was born male and grew up as a boy named Patrick, has used her life savings to establish the competition. She was inspired to set up the contest after a lifetime of struggling with her own identity and said she wants to give other transgender women the confidence to embrace who they really are. Events will be held in Birmingham, Cardiff, Glasgow, Manchester and Brighton, with the winner receiving a £5,000 cash prize at the London final in September. The competition costs £25 to enter, and 60% of all profits will go to LGBT charities across the UK, including the Elton John AIDS Foundation. HELPING TRANS PEOPLE ACCESS SAFE HEALTHCARE According to research from the National Center of Transgender Equality, one in four transgender people in America delay seeking healthcare due to discrimination, but a startup called MyTransHealth aims to address this with a website designed to help trans people access safe healthcare. The service, which will be free to use, was fully funded on Kickstarter, raising $30,000, and will launch later this year in New York City, Miami and San Francisco. When it first launches, the MyTransHealth website will include a list of verified doctors in each city, along with a detailed search feature that will allow users to locate providers by the type of care they need. The co-founder and CTO of MyTransHealth, Amelia Gapin, said they would be launching with a responsive website instead of a mobile application so it is more accessible to the trans community. According to the National LGBTQ Task Force, transgender people in America are 10 four times as likely to have an annual income under $10,000, which means smartphone apps would not be as accessible. To be on the site, healthcare providers must pass a screening process that entails answering a series of questions to determine their knowledge of trans issues and level of inclusiveness. MyTransHealth already have over 50 doctors in their database and have been contacted by several doctors who are willing to learn more. With the Kickstarter funding, MyTransHealth will hire other transgender people to help verify the providers. Their lists and reviews will be heavily screened to ensure the validity of each provider. Gapin said that her team were inspired to set up the company after seeing how many transgender people shared their stories via the #TransHealthFail hashtag, showing that MyTransHealth is necessary and important. The National Center for Transgender Equality also reported that 34% of black transgender people reported postponing care when they needed it due to fear of discrimination. Gapin and her team hope to account for that during the screening process for doctors. by Diane Slater BOY MEETS GIRL: BRITAIN’S FIRST TRANSGENDERTHEMED SITCOM In September, BBC Two will premiere the UK’s very first trans-themed sitcom, starring transgender actress Rebecca Root. Boy Meets Girl follows a simple premise featuring a young man named Leo, played by Harry Hepple, who is recently fired from his job, running into a trans woman named Judy (Root) on the street, who he later enters into a relationship with. The script, by Elliott Kerrigan, was discovered through the Trans Comedy Award, a 2013 BBC talent search for scripts with positive portrayals of transgender characters. Both Root and her character Judy are transgender, making this the first BBC comedy to feature transgender issues prominently, and the first sitcom to star a transgender actor. Root is also a stand-up comedian and voice coach, teaching transgender people to help find voices that they feel fits their gender. In January 2012, All About Trans organised an event, ‘Trans Camp’, involving people from the trans community and media, aiming to help the media provide accurate depictions of transgender people. Off the back of this, the BBC ran the Trans Comedy Award talent search later that year, offering comedy writers up to £5,000 for scripts with positive portrayals of transgender characters. The BBC received 320 script entries, with one of the two winners being Boy Meets Girl (then titled Love). A pilot episode was shown at the BBC’s Salford Sitcom Showcase in March 2014, and the show was commissioned after that. The main series acquired co-writers Simon Carlyle and Andrew Mettam, and will have six 30-minute episodes (including the pilot episode with some re-shot scenes) set and recorded in Manchester. After the pilot episode aired, The Independent compared Boy Meets Girl to the award-winning Gavin & Stacey, a comparison the BBC had said they were looking to make. by Trixie D’Arcy There are three types of accountants… Those who can't count… And those who can…! For all your accounting requirements contact: RONALD SPIEGEL CHARTERED ACCOUNTANTS (You may know me as Rachel) 5 Ledway Drive, Wembley Middlesex HA9 9TH TEL: 020 8930 2485 Email: ron1943.spiegel@gmail.com “Trans in the 21st Century” Edited By Alice Purnell and Jed Bland ISBN 978 0952 135 777 By, Joanna Darrell Trans in the 21st Century, or, T21C as it’s come to be known, is the Beaumont Trusts update to its previous publication “Transvestism and Cross-dressing. Modern Views”. Divided into 20 sections, 7 of which are related to “medical matters”, 8 to “Transgender groups, including families” and the remainder being spread across a number of categories including personal accounts and Trans culture and history. More extensive than it’s predecessor, the book covers a broader range of material within each section. The transgender section now features a number of personnel accounts, which not only help make the book more accessible to readers but also provide a useful insight for healthcare professionals. “Trans in the 21st Century” is priced at £15.00 (excluding P&P) and is available from both the Beaumont Society and Beaumont Trust. Either email email@beaumontsociety.org.uk or visit the Beaumont Trusts website at www.beaumont-trust.org.uk. 11 why i am a member by Jenny List It’s probably fair to say that announcing your membership of the Beaumont Society in many parts of the transgender community these days does not mark you out as one of the Cool Kids. 12 S omething of an embarrassing relic, out of touch and deeply out of fashion. Younger and fresher activists have taken on the transgender banner, and we’re somehow stuck in a closeted past. An unflattering portrait, laden as it is with unfortunate mental images. Truth be told, one not entirely without foundation either. After all, the Society’s history goes back decades, into a time when the world was very different indeed for transgender people. If you dig a little deeper into the views of our critics, you start to touch on something else. A rather unpleasant undercurrent in our wider community, but something which resistance against forms the bedrock of my support for the Society. It’s something I have encountered all too often as I move within our community yet have rarely seen addressed: the question of internalised transphobia. People who set the bar for acceptability in the transgender community somewhere below what they feel themselves to have attained, and abandon or vilify those beneath it in an attempt to validate their own progress. Society members provide support to countless people. Those on their first steps on a path that will lead to a full-time existence. Those for whom their contact with us is their only excuse to venture from the closet. Those who were robbed of their youth as they should be by simple virtue of being born in the wrong decade, and who without the support they receive might well become another suicide statistic. Sadly our critics overlook this. They will judge an event or a support group on their perceptions of how its attendees measure up to themselves, and gloss over the fact that if it happened to them they’d be the first to call transphobia. So while the Society remains the only national organisation I’m aware of whose members turn out on damp Saturday nights in draughty village halls to provide an unlikely beacon of hope, while those suicide statistics are held at bay, I’ll be a member. A friendly welcome at the closet door is worth a hundred self-publicist trans celebrities and a thousand armchair social media activists. You are my fellow Beaumont Society members. You are not afraid to live outrageously, to congregate and express yourself through clothing as whatever takes your fancy. This is anathema to our critics, so revel in it. If it was you in that draughty village hall helping a nervous new arrival, you’ve earned it! It seemed appropriate to nail my colours to the mast in my first outing. Read REPARTEE on-line for less than With no download to your computer. £1 a copy* “Now the best, most relevant magazine for the transgendered community in this country” Mary, Chair Manchester Concord *£10 subscription gives you 3 new issues, the current issue and at least 6 back issues. Brand New Website: w w w.repar tee.t v View on desk-top, lap-top, tablet or mobile, ipad or Android devices www.repartee.tv Telephone: 01226 754252 41 transgender and the spirit world E ven in the womb, our mothers have emotions and thoughts about who we are and who we will become in relation to Who They Are and What They Do in their own lives. If a mother does not ask about the gender of her baby beforehand, there may be a subconscious emotional reaction other than joy during the birthing process. If Mom does know the gender ahead of time, this may also prove to be an issue later in life. In this paragraph alone, we become aware of concepts like nature vs. nurture, preconditioned responses and mitigating factors that already contribute to this baby’s sense of Self. What if this hypothetical baby has decided its gender even before conception? Assuming this immortal soul chose these hypothetical parent(s), geographical location and future body, it may also be wise enough to know what gender it is supposed to be. If these guardian(s) feel a certain way about this Spirit Energy after this spirit has already Manifested their path, whatthen? TRANSGENDER AND THE SPIRIT WORLD We are born. We die. But what happens in between? We experience Life. by Amy J. Harris. 14 SUCH IS THE DILEMMA OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE. Imagine you are born a baby girl to people who wanted a son. In some countries this is a death sentence. Perhaps a fate worse than death is a life lived falsely. Say this same baby girl is allowed to live and chooses to become a male at some point in her life. If the parents always wanted a son, why would they not be thrilled with this soul’s choice? The answer is that there is societal pressure to conform or be ostracised. For the sake of this article, let us call this hypothetical baby ‘Jo’. At first everyone will say, ‘How cute, Jo climbs trees and is a tomboy.’ But the other boys in her neighbourhood and school, for whatever reason, will not play with her, and the girl gangs tease her mercilessly, saying she should have an ‘e’ on the end of her name, because her parents made a mistake not naming her Joseph. Eventually her parents force her to play with dolls and wear girly dresses so the neighbours and teachers stop making judgemental comments. This girl is miserable and confused. Jo surrenders to her socially decided gender, withdraws and plays the game. She even prefers to sexually experiment with girls over boys secretly as she grows up. Then one day she was caught at it and punished. So she dissociated from her unchosen reality and lost herself entirely. transgender and the spirit world Then, once she became an adult, she took her life back and transformed into the man she always knew she was. Because this transgender woman loves her family and does not want to hurt them, Jo lives a hermited, hermaphroditic existence. She is labelled a butchy lesbian by her many friends, and sometimes this is done hurtfully. So she circles the wagons even closer. So close that she falls in love with her best friend and is rejected. Devastated, Jo withdraws altogether and becomes severely depressed. Her work suffers and she is laid off. Thankfully, she saved every dollar she could and invested wisely. She sells her entire stock market portfolio and decides to have sexual reassignment surgery. The doctor starts her on a testosterone hormone treatment regimen. Imagine you are born a baby girl to people who wanted a son. In some countries this is a death sentence. Jo and her doctor discuss bilateral mastectomy, along with chest reshaping and areola reconstruction with skin grafting, because her breasts are sizeable. She will have pectoralis muscle scarring, but the doctor assures her this will create proper male nipple placement and alignment. She does not get a second opinion, where she might have learned an alternate way of surgery that would not have resulted in the loss of sensation she still suffers from today. Jo is satisfied enough with the surgery that she also has her uterus, cervix, ovaries and fallopean tubes removed, because she did not stop menstruating when given testosterone at high levels. Anyway, she lives in a state that requires sterilisation in order to change the sex marker on her government documents. She does not go as far as having genital reassignment surgery due to too many potential complications, even though her doctor reminded her incessantly of her family history of various female organ cancers. When Jo was growing up, her family had her rescued bulldog neutered, and she saw the complications that happened when prosthetic testicles were inserted. But she refuses to see a gynaecologist after a forced visit by her mother at 17 resulted in the mother’s male doctor molesting her, so she suffers female maladies now and again. She is now confident enough to publicly call herself a man, so Jo begins his new life with a new job, and since he is now a man, his gender confusion was blown off during the interview process. He makes new friends, learns what male problems are and how to overcome them, and lives harmoniously as long as he does not have too much contact with his blood relatives, who never entirely accept him as a male. When he meets and falls in love with a co-worker, Jo comes clean and finds lasting Unconditional Love for the first time ever. Jo and Jim become life partners, and because Jim is a man, Jo’s family also learns how to love and accept Jo for who he really is. Jo’s former best friend even attends their wedding. Jim and his family had long ago accepted that he was gay, and everyone was shocked to learn otherwise, including Jim. Though here we can see that sexual preference and gender become irrelevant when True Love happens. Whereas in the past the couple thought adopting children to start a family was their only option, they are excited about the infinite possibilities their future together now holds. also a Truth Worker, Psychic Life Guide and philosopher at heart, who believes in diversity and is accepting of EVERYONE’s personal choices, as long as they strive for happiness while making them, and as long as such choices do not include physically harming other people or pets. Amy herself, for different and various reasons, was rarely accepted by family, friends and society as she slowly but surely learned to break free of her conditioning and own HER life. At the age of 43, she is Aware that she no longer needs to defend or justify her actions to anyone other than herself and her Source (non-denominational, gender-free ‘god’). She hopes this article will help transgender people learn to do the same, whether they believe in an external force or not, because Amy champions people who independently rely on themselves in life. Amy and Kay made a business connection on the LinkedIn social networking site and proudly present this article to you together. Amy’s hopes for the future include helping to create a world where people eschew their overly competitive ways and negative behavioural patterns in favour of Self-Love and Love for everything and everyone on planet Earth. And yes, she is an idealist and a dreamer, but she also creates change and wakes people up to higher consciousness wherever she goes. WE ARE BORN. WE DIE. BUT WHAT HAPPENS IN BETWEEN? WE EXPERIENCE LIFE. ISN’T THE EXPERIENCE WORTH IT? Amy J Harris, author of The Truthful Intuitive Guide to Life Everlasting (available on www. amazon.com), is a published writer and poet, and world-travelling healer of Eastern Modalities. She is 15 trans and the city My name is Amy J. Harris, but I don’t know What I Am. M y birth certificate says I was born a girl in Princeton Hospital, in the state of NJ, USA. I grew up climbing trees and scaring the neighbours with my audacity of Speaking Truth. My mother cut my hair so short I looked like a boy, and she never dressed me in pink. I was put into ballet classes at the age of five, perhaps to teach me some sense of grace and discipline. I also had to wear a tutu, so that probably helped everyone know I was a girl. Plus I was forced to wear pink in every class. I stuck with ballet for 30 years and felt very much like a girl. On and off, though, I have been attracted to women and never quite understood why, other than the fact that the general population agrees they are prettier than men in body, mind and spirit. Once a girl kissed me in a bar, and I did not like it because she had a tongue ring. As a 43-year-old woman, I have experienced high levels of abuse by far too many men in my biological family, friends of parents and even the men I have chosen as lovers over my lifetime. I am twice married, and this husband is better than the last by far, but still he cannot figure out how to love a woman whose name means ‘beloved’ in French, because she never feels anyone can love her the way she loves others. He agrees that is the Truth, so she 16 plows on Feeling Unloved; like nobody can ever really make her happy. Astrologically, I am sun sign Leo, ruled by the sun. Fixed Masculine Fire Sign. I look like a woman without argument. It can be said I have my Masculine Energies well intact, and I do. Men fear my strength and women are jealous of how well I function in what remains a largely patriarchal world. It feels like I do not belong, and so far what I have read about the transgender population tells me we have at least that much in common. I WAS PUT INTO BALLET CLASSES AT THE AGE OF FIVE, PERHAPS TO TEACH ME SOME SENSE OF GRACE AND DISCIPLINE. I ALSO HAD TO WEAR A TUTU, SO THAT PROBABLY HELPED EVERYONE KNOW I WAS A GIRL. PLUS I WAS FORCED TO WEAR PINK IN EVERY CLASS. Maybe less important than figuring out What I Am is assessing Who I Am, which has become a daily occurrence in 2015. I am an established poet and writer. A dancer and dance teacher. A painter. Most creative pursuits go well for me, and I can even engage the left side of my brain handily when called upon to do so, like during the accounting career my parents forced me into. For 20 years I hated my jobs in finance because I was good enough to be a prima ballerina, and my parents said they would not support me in any creative endeavour once I became an adult, because there is no money in creativity. WHAT ABOUT HAPPINESS? They both died never getting the answer to THAT question, which is typical for money chasers. Did that answer the question of Who I Am though? Are we What We Do? Of course not! Closer to the truth of the Who Am I question involves gender, sexual orientation and all preferences in general that have more to do with the INSIDE of one’s body than anything apparent in what we look like. So we go about our daily business unsure of Who We Are. We may even observe others to figure it out, liking or disliking, even absorbing certain mannerisms to try them on for size, like a pair of thrift store shoes. I am a firm believer that, when buying second hand, our feet should be left out of it. There is an expression that references walking in someone else’s shoes, but they do not mean literally. MORE THAN JUST A WIG SHOP! Our services extend beyond those of a typical wig supplier or hair salon. To complement our hair services we also have an in-house semi-permanent make-up artist offering: EYEBROWS Hair Stroke – natural look using hair simulation Powder – more defined look using dense hairs and shading – most bold technique, mimics pencilled look EYELINER DISCO UP TOUNTS OF 1 FOR B EAUM5% ONT SOC MEME IETY BERS Lash Enhancement – dots placed between lashes to enhance lashes Basic – subtle liner along lash line to further define lashes Fashion and Latino – thicker liner, fashion looks, tailored to clients requirements LIPS Liner – lining vermillion boarder to lips with fine line Blush – lining lips ad brushing colour, gives illusion of s plump look Full colour – lipstick look with colour covering whole lip 2 of our Makeup Artists offer make-up tutorials and make-up for special occasions including photo shoots. Raoul have private styling rooms and offer full salon services, such as cutting and styling either in the main salon or in the privacy of our private styling rooms. BESPOKE WIG MAKING Made-to-measure bespoke wigs, made in-house from human hair. READY TO WEAR PIECES Raoul have over 5000 synthetic wigs to choose form, plus a large selection of ready-made human hair wigs to try on a number of styles available in large sizes. WE ARE OPEN: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday from 9am to 5.30pm (last appointments 4pm) and our Late Night is Thursday when we are open 9am – 8pm Saturday 9am to 4pm (last appointment 6.30pm) 5 minutes’ walk from Paddington Over ground & Tube Station. 5 minutes’ walk from Lancaster Gate Tube Station "EESFTT$SBWFO3PBE-POEPO82"t5FMFQIPOF &NBJMFORVJSJFT!SBPVMXJHNBLFSTDPVLtXXXSBPVMXJHNBLFSTDPVL 41 this charming man? In October 2013, Morrissey released a statement through his semi-official website, which said: “Unfortunately, I am not homosexual. In technical fact, I am humasexual. I am attracted to humans. But, of course...not many.” THIS CHARMING MAN? by Paige Turner LOVE HIM OR HATE HIM, THERE’S NO DENYING THAT MORRISSEY IS ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC, OUTSPOKEN, MISUNDERSTOOD AND CONTROVERSIAL FIGURES WITHIN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY OVER THE LAST 30 YEARS. 18 this charming man? S teven Patrick Morrissey was born 22 May 1959, commonly known by his last name, Morrissey, or by his nickname, Moz. He rose to prominence in the 1980s as the vocalist of rock band The Smiths. When the band broke up in 1987, Morrissey began a solo career, going on to make the top ten of the UK Singles Chart on ten separate occasions. MARGARET ON THE GUILLOTINE Cultural historian Julian Stringer notes that The Smiths and Morrissey were a product of and a reaction against Thatcherism, and that their rise to fame ‘can be seen as the only sustained response that white, English pop/ rock music was able to make against the Conservative Government’s appropriation of white, English national identity...that being the case, it is not really surprising that the response is utterly riddled with contradiction.’ Other scholars have responded favourably to Morrissey’s work: Gavin Hopps, a research fellow and literary scholar at the University of St. Andrews, wrote a full-length academic study of Morrissey’s work, calling him comparable to Oscar Wilde, John Betjeman and Philip Larkin, and noting similarities between Morrissey and Samuel Beckett. HE JUST WANTS TO LIVE HIS LIFE THIS WAY celibate. However, his sexuality has been a matter of much conjecture over the years. The Encyclopædia Britannica states that he created a ‘compellingly conflicted persona...loudly proclaimed celibacy offset by coy hints of closeted homosexuality, which has made him a peculiar heartthrob.’ In 1984, Morrissey famously stated that he ‘refused to recognise the terms hetero-, bi- and homo-sexual because everybody has exactly the same sexual needs.’ An article on The Smiths from Rolling Stone published in 1984 claimed that Morrissey ‘admits he’s gay’, but Morrissey responded that it was news to him. The speculation was further fuelled by the frequent references to gay subculture and slang in his lyrics. In 2006, Liz Hoggard from The Independent noted, ‘Only 15 years after homosexuality had been decriminalised, his lyrics flirted with every kind of gay subculture,’ for example, saying that ‘“This Charming Man”...is about agegap, gay sex.’ Music critic and senior editor of AllMusic Stephen Thomas Erlewine noted that lyrics to The Smiths’ single ‘Hand in Glove’ contain ‘veiled references to homosexuality.’ THROUGHOUT MUCH OF HIS CAREER, HE MAINTAINED IN INTERVIEWS THAT HE WAS ASEXUAL OR NON-BINARY AND CELIBATE. HOWEVER HIS SEXUALITY HAS BEEN A MATTER OF MUCH CONJECTURE OVER THE YEARS. Morrissey’s lyrics have been described as ‘dramatic, bleak, funny vignettes about doomed relationships, lonely nightclubs, the burden of the past and the prison of the home.’ In the media, controversies have been caused by his forthright and often contrarian opinions, and he has also attracted media attention for his advocacy of vegetarianism, animal rights and his sexuality. There are many references in his lyrics to sexuality, and even cross-dressing. For example, the track ‘Vicar In A Tutu’ from the album The Queen Is Dead is a light-hearted skit about cross-dressing where Morrissey uses a crossdressing clergyman as his muse, and there seems to be a similar underlying theme in a large majority of his lyrics – an expression of freedom and rebelling against accepted social behaviour. ‘Vicar In A Tutu’ in particular has a profound subtext, reinforced by Morrissey’s closing admission that he, like the tutu-clad vicar, is a sign of life’s glorious abnormalities. WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? Throughout much of his career, he maintained in interviews that he was asexual (or ‘non-binary’) and LAST NIGHT I DREAMT THAT SOMEBODY LOVED ME In a 1997 interview, Morrissey revealed he had been in a relationship with someone for two years, but it had ended and the person in question had stopped loving him. He did not reveal the sex of his partner or whether it was a sexual relationship, but said he cared deeply for the person and hoped they had shared similar feelings. That person was revealed in Morrissey’s autobiography to be a photographer named Jake Walters. BIGMOUTH STRIKES AGAIN Morrissey is routinely referred to as an influential artist, both in his solo career and with The Smiths. The BBC has referred to him as ‘one of the most influential figures in the history of British pop.’ In 2006, Morrissey was voted the second greatest living British icon in a poll held by the BBC’s Culture Show. Since the early 80s, fans and music writers the world over have continued to study his lyrics and search for the true meanings behind them. And now it seems there is the ongoing mystery of Morrissey’s true sexuality too. In October 2013, Morrissey released a statement through his semiofficial website which said: ‘Unfortunately, I am not homosexual. In technical fact, I am humasexual. I am attracted to humans. But, of course...not many.’ 19 chiang mai diary In late January 2014, I went to Chiang Mai (CM) for four days, which gave me the entire time to be a girl (whoopee!) and to see my good friend Cathy. CM has come a long way since I started going there 15 years ago and is a vibrant city with plenty to see and do. Chiang Mai Diary by Martina Tyler Rachapreuk Gardens Day 1 On 24 January, I flew from Bangkok, where I was living at the time, to CM with a suitcase weighing 18.1 kg: that was 18 kg of girl’s things and 0.1 kg of boys stuff – just about a pair of socks, I think. For carry-on, I also had my camera and five lenses (bloody heavy), ready for some serious photography as opportunities arose. Arrived at CM airport on time and picked up a taxi for Baht 120 (about $4) to take me to my hotel, the Centara Duan Tawan, not far from the famous Night Market and the river. Twiggy (my wife) and I have stayed there many times before. As soon as I was in the room, I started metamorphosing into Martina. Once fully booted and spurred in a nice, but plain, Diana Ferrari dress and my silver (low) heels, I headed to the 7-11 across the road to buy 40 some breakfast for the next day, as my room (cheapest rate) did not include it. The 7-11 was full of men and I seemed to be getting a few looks – until I realised I was probably a bit overdressed for the time of day; still, that didn’t bother me. As it turned out, the shop had nothing worth buying, so I shelved that idea until later. Cathy picked me up from the hotel about 6pm and took me to a Burmese restaurant next to the Moat. (CM was built as a walled city in 1296 with a moat all the way around; the moat and fragments of the walls are still there. Each side of the square is, from memory, one mile long. CM was originally the capital of the kingdom of Lan Na (pronounced Laan Naa) until being absorbed into Siam in the 18th century.) The food was excellent and the house red was very acceptable indeed. We ate vegetarian, as Cathy is not a carnivore like me, but I did not mind because the food was so delicious. She is also teetotal, which was fine by me, as she was to be my driver during my stay. After dinner, we went to a new and rather magnificent shopping mall called Central Festival, east of the city. We wandered around a few dress shops but didn’t succumb to temptation. Marks & Spencer had some Managing Depression lovely miniskirts, but too expensive for me – have to wait for the sale! The weather in CM was decidedly cold at night, so we had hot chocolate at Starbucks (girl chatting constantly throughout), after which I picked up some muesli and milk from the supermarket before heading back to the hotel. Day 2 In the morning, I wanted to get dressed straight away, but did so slowly, taking the time to preen myself all over and touch up my nails: OPI Aphrodite’s Pink Nightie (where do they get these names from?!). Cathy was picking me up at midday, and I was happy to hang around in the room until then in my grey mini, blue top and silver heels. Just before going out, I changed into a longer, more ‘politically-correct’ skirt and another blue top with flat shoes, as we intended to do some walking. I had wanted to borrow one of Twiggy’s blue tops, but she cunningly left it in Australia! Cathy took me to a small restaurant by the river called Regina. At the front there is a shop full of bric-a-brac and curios reminiscent of a Steptoe and Son second-hand emporium; the restaurant is out the back and we found a table overlooking the river. There used to be a footbridge nearby, but it had collapsed in the flooding, and people were now fishing from the rubble. The restaurant was populated with several cats, two of whom smoodged up to us in the hope of a friendly pat and maybe a morsel of food, as I had a fried rice with ham. The light was very harsh, but I managed a few photos of 21 chiang mai diary Cathy with a pussycat that was very chummy, with the animal no doubt moving in on the next customer after we had left. Cathy (who just happens to work in real estate) drove me past some places where she thought I might want to rent as we were planning to move to CM later that year. On the way, we stopped at a Doi Chang coffee shop for refreshments, and then on to Ratchapruek Gardens, which is a huge park full of beautiful gardens, and where the famous Chiang Mai flower show is hosted. We hoped to find some good places to take photos. The park is very large, and there was a Tulip Festival being held, although we never made it that far, stuck as we were with other scenic backdrops. However, you can see from the photos that there were many photogenic places, and we simply ran out of time, several hundred photos later! We left about 5pm so I could return to the hotel and change into something presentable for dinner. For dinner, I put on one of my favourite short dresses, and we again went to a vegetarian restaurant. I didn’t like the food much, as it seemed to be watered down and not very tasty, although I am sure it did us a lot of good. However, the real killer was that 22 Sadly, I had to find some boy gear and go back to Bangkok the next day, but I did have a great time. Thanks Cathy, it was wonderful to be a girl for four whole days without ever having to change my nail varnish once! they had no booze (aarrggh!!!), although I should have taken some wine if had known in advance. Day 3 On the third day, Cathy took me to an apartment block which she thought might be of interest to us to rent, and then to a lovely little cafe in Nimmanhemin, where we had an excellent lunch with a lovely English lady called Dorothy. She greeted me as Martina without any hint that my being a T-girl was anything outside the usual; in fact, it became clear very quickly that she has an open mind and accepts people as they are. I really like that. She told me that she had married a man from Ghana, Africa in England in the 60s and had endured all the racial flak that goes with it, so she knows what it’s like to be a minority target for those who choose (usually for the worst of reasons) to be horrible to others. I thought she was a very interesting person and a delight to meet, and I have continued a friendship with her to this day. About 3pm, Cathy and I journeyed up the mountain towards the famous tourist attraction of Doi Suthep, but stopped about 500m short to look at a lesser-known temple called Wat Palad, hidden away in the jungle on the mountain slopes. There were not many people around, so it was an ideal place to take some photos of the temple and the nearby waterfall in the failing afternoon light. After getting some great shots, Cathy took me back to the hotel. She is not much of a dinner eater, so we agreed I would go out separately to dine. However, the place I chose did not have wine, only beer, which I did not chiang mai diary feel like drinking, so I was doomed to endure a second alcohol-free night! I am sure my liver appreciated it though. Day 4 On my last day, we went to a nice little vegetarian restaurant near the centre of the old city and both had slightly different versions of fried rice and fruit juice for lunch. Delightful! After that, our target for the day was Baan Tawai, a large village south of Chiang Mai famous for its arts and crafts – painting, wood carving, lamps, clocks; you name it, they had it! The place was delightful and, best of all, there was hardly anyone there. We stopped at a coffee shop first and then plunged in. Again, Cathy preferred not to go out to dinner, but we agreed to meet at the restaurant after I had finished my main course to have dessert and coffee or tea. So I dressed up in a black top and cardigan and put on the grey miniskirt, but somehow thought it might be a bit too short to inflict on CM just yet! I made it to the lift, but chickened out and went back to the room and put on a more ‘politically-correct’ skirt for the ten-orso-minute walk to the restaurant, the River Market, which is a favourite of mine. It has a lovely atmosphere with good food and good service. I had a nice meal and three glasses of the house red which was fine, but not as good as I have had there before. Cathy came when I had finished my dinner, and I had some ice cream and she had tea. We chatted for about an hour and then, outside the restaurant, hugged and went our separate ways, vowing to meet up again in the not-toodistant future. I walked the 300m back to the hotel, passing a few bars on the way. Not many people about and, although I heard one wolf-whistle, did not look to see where it was coming from. Still, I was relieved to make the relative safety of the Night Market. However, when I got back to my room, a mischievous imp whispered in my ear: ‘Go on, put that miniskirt on and go for a walk through the Night Market. I dare you, ha ha!’ I think the imp had had one too many wines but, before I knew it, there I was walking through the Night Market in my grey mini – naughty Martina! And yes, I did get some looks. In fact, a lady street vendor yelled out: ‘Sek-see! Sek-see!’ Oh, what fun! It really was the icing on the cake. Sadly, I had to find some boy gear and go back to Bangkok the next day, but I did have a great time. Thanks Cathy, it was wonderful to be a girl for four whole days without ever having to change my nail varnish once! 41 22 23 THE BEAUMONT APP IS NOW AVAILABLE ON APPLE STORE SCAN THE QR CODE TO DOWNLOAD THE APP Compatibility: Requires iOS 8.1 or later. Compatible with iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch. This app is optimized for iPhone 5, iPhone 6, and iPhone 6 Plus. 23 true identities TRUE IDENTITIES One of the problems in writing a regular column in a quarterly magazine is the time interval between submission and publication. 2015 wigless T 2015 blonde again hings can happen fast. Thus it was that last time I mentioned Bruce Jenner. When I wrote that piece he had just announced that he was going to become a woman but would be sticking with his male name until his transition occurred. By the time the Summer Beaumont Quarterly appeared, Caitlin Jenner was on the cover of Vanity Fair with a series of photographs showing her as a stunningly attractive woman. I suppose it shows what money can buy – a top surgeon, designer clothes, a professional make-up artist and a brilliant photographer. Jenner’s transition and transformation was accomplished in what appeared to be a remarkably short time. Meanwhile in the UK trans men and women wait years and years to complete their own journeys to their true identities. Nevertheless, the Jenner bandwagon is indicative of the high profile that transgenderism, or rather transsexualism, is getting in the media. When even the Radio Times gives a two-page spread to trans women in the media and The Observer does a column called ‘Transgender on TV’, perhaps the message that trans people are an important part of society is getting through. In the UK, the focus is on Kellie Maloney and Rebecca Root, stand-up comedian and speech trainer. The BBC are launching their new sitcom starring Root, Boy Meets Girl, shortly. I am looking forward to the show immensely, but I would be even happier if a trans woman was booked to play my detective character, Jasmine Frame, on the small or large screen (I think Root is, unfortunately, a little too old for the part). What disappoints me, and I know I’ve said 28 2013 hint of ginger 2011 dark this before, is that all the high-profile coverage is for people who have made a decision to live permanently in the single gender that they identify with. I see little mention of people like me who are gender-fluid, i.e. spend time as male and female. Where are the serious interviews, the photo shoots, the starring roles, the celebration of people who are like the majority of Beaumont Society members? There’s more than Grayson Perry out there. NEVERTHELESS, THE JENNER BANDWAGON IS INDICATIVE OF THE HIGH PROFILE THAT TRANSGENDERISM, OR RATHER TRANSSEXUALISM, IS GETTING IN THE MEDIA. WIG OR NOT? Changing the topic slightly, with the summer here I am sure I am not the only one who has found the wearing of a wig uncomfortable to say the least. For many part-time trans people, the wearing of a wig makes an important contribution to their female persona. For the last fifteen years that has been as true for me as for anyone. The wig not only confers a feminine look but it also acts as a mask, concealing the identity of the wearer. There have been occasions when someone I know in my male life has not recognised me wearing Penny’s wig. In that respect a wig is useful in maintaining the secrecy that many of us feel we need in order to protect ourselves and our families. Over the years I’ve worn a variety of different wigs. The photos show the more recent ones –the earlier ones are possibly too awful now to look back on. I have felt that the wig has aided 2008 blonde and curly my appearance as Penny, but every summer I have sweated and itched beneath the false hair. Now that my dual gender roles are known to most of the people I have dealings with, I have been considering whether I am being true to myself by wearing a wig. Do I need to maintain the fiction that I am two people? For some months I have been growing my hair – a longer process than in my youth and not helped by a slightly receding fringe – and asking my hairdresser to style it in a more feminine manner. Finally in the last few weeks I have dared (yes, that is the right word) to venture out wigless. The response in rural Herefordshire has been good. People who know me have been complimentary. I have only had a few more turned heads than previously, but I have not been anywhere particularly busy yet. I do think that my look is less feminine and older, and perhaps I am taken for an ageing trans woman, but it is my true identity. Comments are welcome. Finally, after a wait of two years, my second Jasmine Frame novel has now been published as an e-book and paperback. Bodies By Design takes up Jasmine’s story three months after the events of Painted Ladies and thrusts her into another thrilling search for a killer with a trans link. The Bodies By Design paperback can be purchased for £9.99 (including post and packing) by emailing paintedladiesnovel@ btinternet.com with payment via PayPal, or by cheque payable to P R Ellis sent to Woodside House, Bridge Street, Leominster HR6 8DZ. A novella-length e-book is also available called Discovering Jasmine which tells a story from Jasmine’s teenage life. Go to my blog www.ellifont.wordpress.com for more news. High Fashion Designer Footwear New for Spring/Summer 2014 - all exclusive to Ultimate Shoes. In sizes 9 -13 Visit our website where you see our full range as well as sale items and special promotions, and from where you can order online or call with an order or just for advice Beesley wigs is run by Tricia and Sally plus their very friendly team of friendly team of Jackie, Debbie and Pam. 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Over 2000 wigs in stock Personal service by qualified consultants N.H.S. approved T: 01603 626518 W: www.ultimate-shoes.com F: 01603 622116 E: sales@ultimate-shoes.com Ring for an appointment 01252 871 764 www.wigswigswigs.co.uk Beesley Wigs Ltd. 100, High Street Sandhurst, Berkshire, GU47 8EE Ultimate Shoes, 24 Rose Valley, Norwich NR2 2PX YOU ARE INVITED TO JOIN US AT THE NEXT TV BRIDAL WEEKEND @ THE NEW WESTCLIFF HOTEL CHINE CRESENT, BOURNEMOUTH DORSET. ON SEPTEMBER 25TH - 27TH 2015 £155 PER PERSON ROOM SHARING £180 PP SINGLE OCCUPANCY £155 PP FOR SMALL SINGLE ROOMS £25 deposit per person book your rooms. Finalised details will follow in an Event Guide. LOCAL PARTICIPATION... NON RESIDENT Friday attendance with dinner - £15 Saturday - INC. Gala Dinner -£30 INFO FROM - D DANIELS, PO BOX 11, SWANMORE, HANTS SO32 2ZU TEL: 01489 893451 E-MAIL: DDAN282739@AOL.COM 41 the new woman The NEW WOMAN by Charity Norman 30 the new woman When I was a teenager, I read Conundrum by Jan Morris and was intrigued by her story. She and my father had been in the army together during WWII, long before her transition, so I grew up with the knowledge that gender is not a binary thing. Looking back though, I had no idea of what that could really mean for so many people. T he years passed. I married a New Zealander, and we’ve lived in both countries. In rural New Zealand – especially before the Internet made the world seem smaller – I found that the gender lines were clearly drawn, and those who stepped over them had a very difficult road to walk. My husband has a relative who began a male-to-female transition while in her twenties. She’d moved away but visited for family events, and I remember the baffled reactions of some of the extended family to the confident, attractive woman who burst into their midst. They did their best, but at first they couldn’t use the right pronoun; or they used both, one after the other, with an embarrassed smile. One or two people even doggedly called her by her male name. A few years ago I began to do some voluntary telephone listening work on a helpline rather like the Samaritans. Several of our callers were in various stages of transition and struggling with their gender identity. I can’t go into the details because I’m bound by confidentiality, but I can say that I spoke to callers who’d suffered extreme violence and rejection who were in crisis – but often still managed to show optimism, courage and humour. I found them inspiring. Some had been the victims of sexual violence. Some didn’t have the money or the family support that they needed, and called quite often. I talked to at least one trans woman who was seriously considering ending her own life. I was struck by just how misunderstood this was, and how common. AFTER ALL SHE HAD BEEN THROUGH, AND EVEN IN DEATH, PEOPLE WERE TRYING TO TAKE HER IDENTITY FROM HER. I KNEW FROM BITTER EXPERIENCE HOW TERRIBLY THEY MUST BE GRIEVING, BUT STILL, I WAS APPALLED. I was ashamed to realise that there were vast gaps in my own knowledge, so I began to research and to try to understand better. It was at this time that I became friends with another telephone listener, a woman in her sixties who’d been through transition about a decade before. She’s a professional woman, well respected in her field, and a person of great insight and compassion. She was patient enough to explain to me why she had, in the end, no choice but to become the person she’d always felt she was. She’d been involved in helping other transgender people and gave me new insights into the immense challenges – and triumphs – of their lives. One day, when I’d just finished a book, she asked me what I was going to write next. ‘I’m not quite sure,’ I said, ‘but I think it might be a story about gender identity.’ She lit up, and we talked about a book that explored the emotional side of things – whose main character was not a caricature but a real person with a complex inner life. That evening, she emailed me a press report about a helicopter pilot who had been killed. The pilot was reported as male, with a male name. My own brother was killed when the same type of helicopter crashed in very similar circumstances, so I read the report with real horror, wondering how my friend had known about my brother – I didn’t remember telling her. It wasn’t until I’d read her covering email that it dawned on me that she’d sent the report for a very different reason: the pilot was a trans woman, yet at the request of her family her male name and identity were being reported in the press. After all she had been through, and even in death, people were trying to take her identity from her. I knew from bitter experience how terribly they must be grieving, but still, I was appalled. From then on, this was the only book I wanted to write. The New Woman by Charity Norman is published by Allen and Unwin on 6 August and is available from all good bookshops. 31 managing conflict Managing conflict in today’s society By Julie Elvery THE GAP REPORT 2014 STATES THAT MANY TRANSGENDER PEOPLE EXPERIENCE SOCIAL EXCLUSION AND MARGINALISATION BECAUSE OF THE WAY IN WHICH THEY EXPRESS THEIR GENDER IDENTITY. 32 managing conflict An important concern for transgender people is safety issues relating to being potential victims of violence upon their disclosure of their transgender status or that information being disclosed by others. M y name is Julie Elvery. My background was initially the prison service where I worked in a purpose-built self-harm unit for category A females sentenced to life imprisonment. Although a very pressurised and volatile environment, I was able to achieve very positive outcomes through managing conflict effectively, and from this assist offenders to achieve positive futures. I left the prison service when work life balance was no longer available, and I qualified as a dog handler with the British Institute of Professional Dog Trainers and went on to do Doors Supervisory. I decided to specialise in conflict management and physical intervention when I read that violence in the workplace is on the increase. It is estimated that on an annual basis within the NHS alone, there are some 95,000 violent incidents. The Gap report 2014 states that many Transgender people experience social exclusion and marginalisation because of the way in which they express their gender identity. A Transgender person does not identify with the gender assigned at birth. This can lead to discrimination, bullying, rejection and tragically, sometimes conflict and violence. An important concern for Transgender people is safety issues relating to being potential victims of violence upon their disclosure of their Transgender status or that information being disclosed by others. The top four concerns of Transgendered people of all ages was: family rejection and violation of the right to education and employment; violence, criminalisation and transphobia; lack of recognition of gender identity, and discrimination in health systems. I currently run Conflict Resolution Workshops, the aims of which include identifying different forms of communication; patterns of behaviour encountered during different interactions; causes of conflict; the use of ‘reasonable force’ as it applies to conflict resolution; warning and danger signs; communication breakdown; personal safety awareness; and use of breakaway techniques. The course will enable clients to gain awareness of dealing with violence, aggression, bullying and intimidating behaviour. Having a sound knowledge of effective communication techniques and the ability to recognise and respond effectively will provide individuals with the skills to reduce them. I also offer telephone coaching (completely confidential) to those who are unable to attend a workshop. This can be pre-arranged for your convenience, and can be to any mobile or landline. n The course objective is to empower people, build selfconfidence and maintain a safe environment in both personal and professional life. I am able to apply a 25% discount to all Beaumont Society members and their friends and families. Workshops can be booked for up to 12 people; I can travel to you or provide a venue. Contact is available via the office on 0208 663 2995, or outside of office hours on mobile 07857 347 127. Alternatively you can email elverytraining@yahoo.com. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions. 33 mishaps and misdemeanours MISHAPS AND MISDEMEANOURS by Ruth Hunt All of us are guilty at some point in our lives of taking ourselves much too seriously. Nothing wrong with that, of course, and when you’re a cross-dresser like me there is a temptation to regard your situation with the utmost seriousness. I guess it’s a case of: if I don’t take myself seriously then how can I expect other people to do the same? But sometimes you have to look in the mirror and say to yourself, ‘You’ve just got to laugh, haven’t you?’ I suppose I should qualify this. I’m not talking about those people who have struggled with their gender identity all of their lives and are going through the trauma of transitioning. Rather, I am focusing on those of us, like me, who like to dress up and try to look as female as possible but without wanting to change gender. For instance, I always find myself smiling when I’m at events and I watch girls ordering pints of beer. Now I know real girls often drink pints but, when I dress, I like to be as feminine as possible, and I guess the stereotypical tipple would be a glass of Pinot Grigio. However, sometimes only a pint of Stella will do, no matter how delicately painted your nails are! One area that can be fraught with embarrassment is using public toilets. Do you use the ladies or the gents? 34 So what other mishaps and misdemeanours can befall us when we want to look like the woman we feel we ought to be – and sometimes fail miserably? And when all you can really do is laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. One area that can be fraught with embarrassment is using public toilets. Do you use the ladies or the gents? What happens when you simply forget what mode you’re in and you walk up to the urinal, nod at the bloke next to you and realise you’re wearing your best summer dress? And then there is the time when you pluck up the courage to use the ladies and have to unravel that halter neck 1950s prom dress with ruffle petticoat without sounding from outside the cubicle like you’re wrestling a pantomime dame. Here, I admit I speak from experience… Another of the more embarrassing moments I suffered was at a dinner dance. I was dressed in all my finery, but the effect was immediately lost when I absentmindedly scratched my nose and left my false fingernail lodged in my nostril. There is no way back from there, girls, trust me! As you will all be fully aware, everything about dressing can be a mishaps and misdemeanours real minefield, particularly if you’re out and about. I’m sure many of you can identify with something I witnessed in my local pub when I was standing at the bar with a number of male friends (I was not dressed). A girl walked between us and went off to the toilet. On the way back, she walked straight into one of the low beams that adorn this particular hostelry, hit her head badly, gave a very gruff ‘Shit!’ and knocked her wig askew. To my friends’ credit, they waited until she had left the pub before saying, ‘That was a bloke!’ One of the major things crossdressers like myself have to accept is that you are more likely to be ‘read’ than not. My own reaction was slightly different: What a lovely top she’s wearing, I thought, wonder where she got it? For me, putting on a wig is the crowning moment of my transformation into Ruth, but, as we all know, wigs bring their own issues, as my friend in the pub found out to her cost. My worst experience, I suppose, was the first time I made a public appearance at the Beaumont’s Harrogate event some years ago. Not being used to it, I got fully dressed for breakfast. Unfortunately, it was unseasonably warm and I plumped for the full English. Within seconds, sweat was pouring down my face, streaking my carefully applied makeup and making my head itch uncontrollably. And, of course, as soon as you start the scratch, the more the wig comes loose and lopsided. My wife was diplomatic enough not to laugh at my discomfort, but I’m sure she was thinking, ‘Well, you wanted to be a girl...’ Of course, having a supportive partner is a blessing, but it can also sometimes be a curse. One vivid memory was when I was with a former girlfriend in the local Superdrug, and she plucked a bright red lipstick from the shelves and said, ‘This is just your colour!’ Unfortunately, this was right in front of a gaggle of teenage girls who looked at me in surprise, giggled madly and left me with a face redder than the lipstick being proffered. Many of us who have dressed most of our lives are used to keeping it a secret, but the longer it goes on, and the more comfortable you are in your feminine self, the greater the chance of giving yourself away. I have lost count of the number of times I have glibly spoken to my mates about asymmetrical skirts, confirmed myself an authority on female dress sizes and used very un-blokey phrases like ‘Mary Jane shoes’, ‘capri pants’ and ‘halter necks’. The funny looks I then receive mean that my cover is probably blown, but everyone’s too polite to say anything… One of the major things cross-dressers like myself have to accept is that you are more likely to be ‘read’ than not. I’m six foot two and love to wear heels so, no matter how good the make-up and wig, I’ll always resemble the poster from that old ‘B’ movie, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman. So, most of the time, you just have to grin and give yourself a mental shrug of your not-so-ladylike shoulders when someone spots you in the street, points and says loudly, ‘That’s a man!’ I guess what I’m trying to say is that, by all means, take your desire to dress as a woman seriously – mainly, because it is an integral and important part of our lives. But do remember to keep things in perspective, because there’s plenty of room for a good laugh about something which, let’s face it, is pretty damn funny sometimes! Ruth Hunt One vivid memory was when I was with a former girlfriend in the local Superdrug, and she plucked a bright red lipstick from the shelves and said, ‘This is just your colour!’ 35 .Dressed to Kill Dressed to Kill by Kitty Potter She just goes, a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes. Norman Bates - Psycho Norman Bates was an American serial killer and keeper of The Bates Motel in California. Bates suffered from Dissociative Identity Disorder and psychotic behavior, believing himself to be his controlling Mother. At the same time he suffered from visual and auditory hallucinations, in which his mother apparently talked him into committing acts of violence in order to appease her. When the Mother personality took over, Bates would fly into murderous rages targeting women who aroused him, usually whilst dressed in her clothing. He is known to have eventually killed his mother and kept her mummified corpse in the basement of his house for many years. Norman is arrested and incarcerated in a mental institution, where he would remain for 22 years. A psychiatrist declares Norman insane, and apparently completely dominated by the Mother personality of his psyche. Norman Bates dressed as Mother - Psycho 36 Glenda - Seed of Chucky Glenda is the offspring of killer dolls Chucky and Tiffany and the apparent alter ego of Glen. However, it is shown that she is a soul, meaning that she and her brother share the same body. Glenda is everything her brother is not. While he is praised for being a sweet angel, Glenda is shown to scare people, even Chucky is terrified of her. Glenda has been known to be violent, start fights, steal, say horrible profanities, and has a look of wanting to kill. Glenda will remain dormant in her brother but surfaces whenever Glen is over stressed or frightened. When Tiffany apparently kills a woman, Chucky tries to comfort her, only to find it is Glen in a dress. However, Glenda has now taken over and refers to herself as a “real lady killer”, Tiffany tired of her daughter’s rants, slaps her, asking for Glen to come back. Divine - Pink Flamingos Underground criminal Divine lives under the pseudonym “Babs Johnson”. After learning that Divine has been named “the filthiest person alive” by a tabloid paper, jealous rivals Connie and Raymond Marble set out to destroy her career but come undone in the process. A birthday party begins as the Marbles arrive to spy on it. Divine receives an assortment of gifts, including lice shampoo, a pig’s head, and an axe. The Marbles, disgusted by the reveling, call the police, but this proves unsuccessful as Divine and the other party-goers kill the cops. Divine hacks up their bodies with the axe and the party-goers eat them. Divine takes the Marbles hostage at gunpoint and calls the local tabloid media to witness the Marbles’ trial and execution. Divine sentences the bound and gagged Marbles to death for “first-degree stupidity” and “assholism” and they move straight to the execution. Divine ties the Marbles to a tree, coating them in tar and feathers. Divine then shoots them in the head and the media leave shortly afterward, satisfied with their scoop of a “live homicide” .Dressed to Kill Buffalo Bill Angela Baker - Sleepaway Camp Peter Baker was the survivor of a horrible boating accident which claimed the lives of his father and twin sibling Angela - the accident left Peter with a head wound and he was put in the care of a domineering, mentallyunstable aunt who always wanted a girl and already had a boy, so Peter became his dead twin Angela. Raised as a girl, deeply confused about her sexuality, Angela was eventually sent away to Camp Arawak at age 14 in an attempt to help her integrate into youth culture. The act proved fatal, as young Angela suffered a complete psychological breakdown and began murdering her fellow campers and counselors when she is ridiculed and bullied due to her introverted nature and shyness and because she doesn’t take a shower, go swimming or even change her clothes when around the other girls. The film is known for it’s twist ending, it is one of the most shocking among horror films! Frank n Furter - Rocky Horror Dr. Frank N. Furter is the main antagonist of The Rocky Horror Show. He is a promiscuous, bisexual, cross-dressing scientist from the planet Transsexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania. Frank is holding an annual, Transylvanian science convention at his castle to showcase the birth of his newest experiment, “Rocky Horror” - a well-built, attractive man created solely for sexual purposes. Frank’s celebration is interrupted when Eddie, an ex-delivery boy and former lover, emerges from the freezer where he was stored after half of his brain was used to make Rocky. He describes his past life and explains his current situation to the Transylvanians, stealing Frank’s spotlight. Jealous and enraged, Frank chases Eddie back into the freezer and murders him with a pick axe. He then tries to brighten the shocked conventionists’ moods by unveiling a bridal suite built for him and Rocky. A wedding procession ushers the two inside, where they sleep together. Later at the wedding dinner Frank makes a subtle mention about how they are currently eating his remains and pulls back a table cloth to reveal Eddie’s body. - Silence of the Lambs Jame Gumb, better known as Buffalo Bill, is the main antagonist in the book and movie The Silence of the Lambs. Gumb kidnaps overweight women so he can starve them. He starves them so that their skin is much looser so after he murders them he can more easily remove their skin to fashion a “woman suit” for himself. He considers himself transsexual, but is too disturbed to qualify for sex reassignment surgery. Gumb thinks of his victims as things rather than people, often referring to his victims as “it” He is fascinated by the moths’ metamorphosis, a process he wants to undergo by becoming a woman. In one of the film’s more infamous scenes, he dances around while wearing a silk cape which he flourishes like butterfly wings. Tales from the Crypt - Came the Dawn Roger (Perry King) is travelling to attempt to make up with his wife when he comes across a woman stranded in the rain on the side of the road. He stops for Norma (Brooke Shields) and offers to take her to his cabin since the last bus already left and she cannot afford a hotel room. At the cabin, she puts on a sexy black dress and Roger gives her a beautiful necklace to wear. At dinner she tells him she caught her husband “shacking up with some bimbo” and he allows her to stay in the cabin as long as she would like. This obviously leads to sex, but then he hears something down stairs and thinking it’s his wife who is very jealous and possessive, he sneaks Norma out of the cabin but Norma sneaks back in the house to grab her bag full of stolen goodies from the cabin. Big mistake! Paying twisted homage to Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho, Roger reveals himself in a dress and make up screaming about Roger’s cheating. Wielding a battle-axe he states, “Roger is mine,” right before he brutally murders Norma. 37 interview with drew INtERvIEW WItH DREW-ASHLYN CUNNINGHAM Drew was first introDuceD to us all with a television programme a few years ago on channel 4 calleD My Transsexual suMMer. she came across as sincere, well motivateD anD a very positive person. she has full-time employment as a make-up artist, but still finDs time to source articles for the beaumont magazine. to finD out more about Drew’s personality anD get to know her better, i DeciDeD to have a chat anD put the iDea of an interview to her. she agreeD, anD i hope you enjoy reaDing her answers to some light-hearteD anD serious questions. Have you ever received help or support from a Trans group? No! I just got on with my life. However, I did mix with different people in gay bars. If you had ‘come out’ earlier in your life, what difference do you think it would have made? I would have taken the opportunity to transition earlier and therefore blended better as a girl, which would have made me more at ease with myself. Katie Piper – I find her an inspiration and a lovely person; Pete Bennett – the guy from Big Brother with Tourette’s who has an amazing sense of humour; Amanda Lepore – she was the first Trans person I could relate too, and she made me realise that I also was Trans; Lady Gaga – she could provide the music. What makes you feel content? Being with people and having a few drinks with my friends. How do you see the future for Trans people? There is still a long way to go before we will be in the same position as LGBT. What was your most painful experience? The two years I suffered deep depression before I came out as Trans. Favourite food Chicken korma. What has been your greatest lesson in life? Starring in My Transsexual Summer, as it gave me an insight into other Trans people. Favourite drink Cup of tea. Favourite singer Avril Lavigne. Favourite film Closer starring Julia Roberts. Favourite TV programme Total Divas (the lives of female wrestlers). Favourite book Travelled Road by Lita Leff (biography of a female wrestler). If a film was to be made of your life story, which film star would you like to play the role of you? Margot Robbie. IIf you were to have a party, which celebrities would you invite and why? 38 Give me three significant dates in your life? December 2006 – I came out to my parents. December 2011 – my make-up artist career started. March 2012 – My Transsexual Tour, which gave me the wonderful experience of meeting so many varied people. What is your religion? I am an atheist! However, I just want to say, ‘Live your life the best way you can and not from a book.’ What is your most treasured possession? Well, that is easy: it is my make-up, as it transforms me into the person I am inside. n Gender Identity Research and Education Society Melverly, The Warren, Ashstead, Surrey KT21 2SP Telephone: 01372 801 554 Information for trans-people, their families and professionals who care for them. www.gires.org.uk London girls can meet at the :- The London Friend 86, Caledonia Road, Kings Cross, London N1 9DN on the Second Sunday of the Month, at 7.00pm for company and chat in a friendly atmosphere for a small charge of £2.00. Refreshments available. This venue is secured for the LGBT community Phone Helen Elliot on 020 8371 5663 A Beaumont Society supported meeting Can you help with funds for the LondonFriend!!! Northern Concord The Northern Concord is a social group for Cross-dressers, transvestites, transexuals and their wives or partners. The group is based in Manchester, England and has worked for the TG community successfully for over 23 years www.northernconcord.org.uk E-mail: jennyb@northernconcord.org.uk P.O. Box 258, Manchester M60 1LN Check with Diane Ball dianetvball@aol.com For meeting dates and venue for ladies in LINCOLNSHIRE and local counties The South's leading transgender party night! On the 3rd Thursday of each month from 7:30 11:30 pm at the Empire Hall, Salisbury Road, Totton, Southampton, SO40 3PY. ❖ Hosted by THE FRIENDS OF TOTTON DISCO. ❖ Entry only £6. ❖ Fully licensed bar serving wines, spirits, real-ales, ciders, lagers and soft drinks. ❖ Hot food, tea and coffee available. ❖ Fully sprung dance-floor. ❖ Quiet background music until 9:00 pm offering an opportunity for chat. ❖ Free car parking in the nearby library car-park. ❖ Raffle (not April 2014). Information from Eleanor Roberts: eleanor52roberts@yahoo.co.uk or phone 07786 226635 Clinics providing gender identity services in England The London Mental Health NHS Trust Gender Identity Clinic 179-183 Fulham Place Road London W6 8QZ Tel: 020 8483 2801 Sheffield Health and Social Care NHS Foundation Trust Sexual and Relationship Sexual Medicine and Transgender Services Portbrook Clinic Michael Carlisle Centre Nether Edge Hospital 75 Osborne Road Sheffield S11 9BF Tel: 0114 271 6671 Leeds Gender Identity Clinic Management Suite 1st Floor Newsam Centre Seacroft Hospital York Road Leeds LS14 6WB Tel: 0113 305 6346 Sunderland Gender Dysphoria Service Upper Poplars Cherry Knowle Hospital Ryhope, Sunderland SR2 0NB Tel: 0191 569 9401 Nottingham Gender Clinic Mandala Centre Gregory Boulevard Nottinham NG7 6LB Tel: 0115 960 2820 Devon Partnership NHS Trust The Laurels Gender Identity and Sexual Medicine Service The Laurels 11-15 Dix’s Field Exeter EX1 1QA Tel: 01392 677077 managing depression HOW CAN WE HELP OURSELVES MANAGE DEPRESSION? I had depression from a young age. It used to creep up on me from nowhere, and it would descend quickly before I could do anything. by Vixx Thompson T he gender dysphoria I suffered was only a part of it, and even today I am mindful of it returning periodically. Depression is not nice for anyone who suffers from this illness. The feelings of despair, anxiety and loneliness can be overwhelming at times. You don’t want to do anything, and everything feels ‘off ’. It can be worse at times for people with gender dysphoria, and many people can have suicidal thoughts. Varying reports show that between 30% and 42% of Trans or gender-variant people have thought about suicide or attempted it, which is an extremely high rate compared to society as a whole. If you feel this way, please remember that you are NOT alone. There are many people just like you in similar positions, and we are all of value, whether we know it or not. Should you or someone you know be struggling, please look at getting some help to work things through, even if it’s a call to the Samaritans (go to www.samaritans.org to find your local number) or looking online for a help and support group that meets your requirements. There are various ways to help ease depression: Medication; talking therapy with a counsellor; talking to understanding friends/family (building a support network); eating a balanced diet (there 40 IF YOU FEEL THIS WAY, PLEASE REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE. THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU IN SIMILAR POSITIONS, AND WE ARE ALL OF VALUE, WHETHER WE KNOW IT OR NOT. are some foods that can actually help with easing depression); and exercise. Medication can be great for short-to-mid term use, but without looking at underlying causes and issues and learning to manage ‘triggers’ for depression, then when the medication is lowered or stopped, the depressive state may return. This is where talking can be useful. I actually found it better to write things down and keep a journal because I wasn’t very good at expressing myself verbally at the time. Some people prefer to talk to a counsellor because they aren’t known to the person, and they can discuss things that they may not feel comfortable talking to friends about, whilst others prefer to chat with friends purely because there are fewer things that need explaining to them. Whatever works best for the individual is preferable. I have previously written articles online on managing food and mood and how this can help in a practical way. managing depression Whilst eating well is not the be all and end all, it can be beneficial as part of a holistic well-being routine. You can find the first of three articles on food and mood here: https://kineticlifestylecom.wordpress. com/2012/01/09/how-can-we-use-food-toimprove-our-mood-part-1/ Personally, exercise worked best for me. I was dragged out of the house as a teenager and made to do something active – anything as long as I was outside – and it was here where I realised that being active helped to ease the immense sense of sadness that I can be prone to. Exercise releases endorphins (a kind of natural happy pill) when people do something active, and I do believe that there is an activity for everyone, but we might have to try a few to see which ones we might enjoy most. I found running was most helpful for me, as I could run with a couple of friends for a bit of social time, or I could run alone and think through the day’s events, or appreciate the scenery around me. Either way, I’d stay out there until I felt my mind ease. Sometimes it was a struggle to get out the door, but I soon realised that I didn’t feel quite as good if I didn’t exercise – and I didn’t want to feel down if exercise helped. My rule of thumb is that even if I really don’t want to do anything, I’ll try for 10 minutes. If I still don’t want to do it after 10 minutes, then I can go home, and at least I will have attempted something. There are only a couple of occasions that I have stopped after 10 minutes – I usually end up doing more! As I have said, exercise releases these feelgood endorphins to help improve mood, but it can also: Improve body image through toning and weight loss; increase energy levels throughout the day as you get fitter; benefit the cardiovascular system by strengthening the heart and lungs; and provide a social aspect if required. Exercise should be enjoyable. Every year I see people join a gym who should be enjoying the outdoors, and people outdoors who would prefer the regimen of a gym-training programme. If you try something and don’t enjoy it, then there are plenty of other fun activities to try: Running; walking/rambling; swimming; cycling; orienteering; tennis; badminton; squash; climbing; netball; basketball; yoga/ pilates; and tai chi. And so on... If you have not exercised for a while, then it may well be wise to have a quick chat with your GP to make sure that you are OK to undertake some gentle exercise to start with, and then see what you fancy trying! Find a friend if you would like some company for a first outing, or join in with one of the many Trans exercise groups that are around if there is one close to you. Trans-Fit is an exclusive group on Facebook for all Trans and gender-variant people who wish to get fitter and healthier, as well as meet likeminded people of all exercise abilities. Please feel free to join us there! There is also a website where I am currently compiling as many Trans-exclusive and Trans-friendly sports and activity groups as possible, so that hopefully there is something for everyone. Please take a look here: www.trans-fit.co.uk, and if you know of any groups that should be there, then please let me know so that we can tell everyone about them! My business website can be found at www.kinetic-lifestyle.com if you wish to know more about the work that I do. WOULD IT BE HELPFUL TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS YOUR SITUATION? YOU ARE NOT ALONE... A RECENTLY-FORMED GROUP OFFERING: Confidential support to women whose partners are transgender and may express themselves through cross dressing. Volunteers who are all women who have been through the experience of living with a transgender person. They will provide emotional and practical support, information and understanding of others in a similar situation. We can relate to your feelings and reassure you that they are “normal”. BRIEF DETAILS OF THE SERVICES WE INTEND TO PROVIDE Confidential Online Forum Confidential Telephone Support Line Answers to frequently asked questions Letters describing their personal experiences from wives & partners of transgender people. CONTACT DETAILS: orchidbp@virginmedia.com WEBSITE ADDRESS: beaumontsociety.org.uk/partners/partners.html OPERATIONAL FROM: 1st April 2013 Mermaids is the only charity in the UK providing support for children and teenagers with gender identity issues and their families. The charity provides peer support forums for young people aged 13-19 and a separate forum for parents. Support is also available via a telephone helpline. Mermaids can help with a range of issues, such as coming out at school, family issues and seeking treatment for gender dysphoria. To find out more, contact Mermaids via phone or email: Telephone: 0208 1234 819 Email: info@mermaidsuk.org.uk Website: www.mermaidsuk.org.uk 41 trans lakes Trans Lakes Walking Group Ambleside Weekends, March 2014 and 2015 42 trans lakes S ome time ago (BQ84) I wrote an article about our trans girls’ walking group in the Lake District. Well, here we are, two years on, and we’re still at it. Not just that, but we’ve also had two weekends in Ambleside with friends coming from across the UK. The prime mover in these things is Joan, an energetic lady, keen to show the world that trans people are really just ordinary folk with a slightly unusual take on life – a bit like keen golfers or bird watchers but more interesting. Joan organises monthly meetings in the Furness area where trans girls meet for a drink and social chat in various pubs and bars. See the Trans Lakes website for more details – and do come along if you’re in the area. We don’t bite, honest. Our Ambleside weekend is a three-day combination of walks and socialising. Up to 12 of us stay at the Queens Hotel in Ambleside so, unlike most trans weekends, we don’t fill the place, and we mix with the other guests for breakfast and in the evening. During the day, we go out and about, mostly walking, but the less active find more restful ways of spending their time. This year we had a mixed group of nine trans girls, the wife of one TG, and Lee, the male leader of the Friends and Supporters of the Furness LGBT Community. Another TG (in male mode) joined us for our first outing. We all met on a Friday morning at Elterwater, a small village in Great Langdale, a few miles west of Ambleside, with a convenient car park. We had two walks planned, a gentle stroll through the woods and fields, and a more energetic walk involving a climb up Lingmoor Fell. Four of us chose the gentle walk while the others headed for the hills. As it happened, the four on the gentle walk were two of us in girl mode and two in boy mode. Someone asked later had we been taken for two couples. Probably, I said, but there had been quite a bit of wife swapping on the way. Walking with a man, as someone once said, is the best disguise a trans girl can have. We had arranged to meet the other group for lunch at a pub, but there was no sign of them when we arrived. We ordered lunch and waited, but they were a long time coming, and we were beginning to worry that something serious might have happened when they turned up, hungry and thirsty but cheerful. It turned out that the Lingmoor summit was farther along the ridge than Pipit (the leader) had remembered so it all took longer than planned. On Friday evening we went out to an excellent restaurant, Zeffirelli’s in Ambleside. We were made very welcome, tables rearranged to seat us all together, and no adverse reaction from the other diners, despite our occasional raucous laughter. Zeff ’s is interesting as it’s associated with a group of small cinemas, has a jazz bar, and serves exclusively vegetarian food, though few of the customers appear to notice the fact. Well worth a visit (no, I’m not on commission). It seems we three locals, Joan, Pipit and I, have acquired something of a reputation as the ‘Staveley Belles’. After the meal, most of the party went back to the hotel for a drink and quiet chat, but two girls went out on the town and performed to great applause at a local karaoke bar. Saturday was wet and windy – well, what do you expect in the Lake District in March? Joan had decided that walking three days in succession wouldn’t do for her knees so she and Lee took a sail down Windermere on the steamers, followed by a steam train ride. (Surveys show that 76% of trans girls are also steam train enthusiasts. Actually, I made that up but I’m sure there’s a correlation. I wonder why…) The year before, one of our number did the same trip with an extension to a local motor museum. There are, of course, lots of other interesting places to visit if boats, trains and cars aren’t your thing. There’s plenty for a girl to do if she decides not to go walking in the rain. The rest of us set off to walk round Loughrigg Fell, just west of the town. We made it, but at some cost to our expensive hairstyles and with damp encroaching through our waterproofs. Fortunately, the rain did ease off after a couple of hours, but we were still dripping as we entered the Badger Bar, hoping for some lunch. The pub was very full, but the staff opened the dining room specially for us and made us very welcome. It seems we three locals, Joan, Pipit and I, have acquired something of a reputation as the ‘Staveley Belles’. We found that a bit puzzling as none of us has a Staveley connection (either Staveley, there being two of them in the Lake District) but we take the appellation as a compliment. The food and drink at the Badger was excellent as ever, and after a prolonged lunch, the stroll back to Ambleside beside the river in pale sunshine was a delight. On Saturday evening, we had dinner at the Queens Hotel, then mingled with the other guests. As it was the weekend before Easter, the hotel was very full, and we generated quite a bit of interest among the other diners and residents. All the usual questions came up – ‘Does your wife know? Does it bother her? What about the children?’ and 43 trans lakes so on. All very friendly, and helped along by the presence of the wife of one trans girl, and one of our group in male mode. Further interest was aroused by another of our group, Stephanie, who was gradually constructing a stuffed cobra in crochet. When asked what she was doing it for, she just smiled enigmatically and took another stitch. Last year she was making a blanket – or maybe it was a throw, or a wall hanging – anyway, it was flat and rectangular. This year, a stuffed cobra in pink and black bands. I look forward to next year with breathless anticipation. On Sunday, your scribe had to leave immediately after breakfast for a prior engagement elsewhere, but seven of the group went by car over Kirkstone Pass and had a pleasant short walk around Brotherswater, a small lake just up the valley from Ullswater, followed by lunch at the Kirkstone Pass Inn. Altogether, it was an excellent weekend, contributing to our mission to bring trans people more into contact with the rest of the populace, reduce misunderstanding, and promote tolerance and general goodwill. This was our second Ambleside weekend, and it will probably happen again in March next year. If anyone out there is interested, either in the Ambleside weekend or in joining one of our regular monthly walks, do please get in touch via the Trans Lakes website at https://sites.google.com/site/ translakesnights/ or dedicated email address: trans.lakes.nights@googlemail.com. Rachel 44 The rest of us set off to walk round Loughrigg Fell, just west of the town. We made it, but at some cost to our expensive hair styles and with damp encroaching through our waterproofs. coffee break Beaumont Wordsearch Crossword 1 2 P A R A N O 3 4 3 6 7 5 7 8 8 9 9 11 10 11 13 12 12 14 15 16 ACROSS Across amount by which something falls short (10) 1.1.2.AThe lack or shortage (10) long experience in a particular field (7) Extremely difficult filthyin and 2.3.Has a great dealandofoccasionally experience a distasteful (6) 4. A deep fissure (5) field (7)Muslim year (7) 5particular The ninth month of the A dish of Mexican origin (7) 3.67Extremely difficult and occasionally UB40 Song (3,2,2,7) 8filthy At a leisurely pace (6) and distasteful (6) 9 First name of actress star of ‘what women want’ (5) heap of things or medical condition (4) 4.10AAdeep fissure (5) 11. A rusted pipe might be this (5) 5.12The ninth month of (6) the Muslim year (7) Participating or engaged Chocolate bar (4) 6.13 A dish of Mexican origin (7) 14. Prod gently (past tense) (6) A milk song substitute for adding to coffee (7) 7.15UB40 (3,2,2,7) 16 To carry the weight of (4) 8.17. AtDeliberate a leisurely pace (6) group. killing of ethnic 9. First name of actress, star of What Women Want (5) 10. The soft, succulent part of fruit, synonymous with Britpop (4) 11. A rusted pipe might be this (5) 12. Participating or engaged (6) 13. Chocolate bar, before nautical or dynamic (4) 14. Prod gently (past tense) (6) 15. A milk substitute for adding to coffee (7) 16. To carry the weight of (4) 17. Deliberate killing of ethnic group (8) 10.5. ToA cause or distress to (6) by a long strap bagcontinual carriedtrouble on the shoulder 11. To thrust forward as a spear (7) and closed by a flap (7) 12 Identical(4) 6. An appliance in which food and drink is kept (6) 7. A single instruction that expands automatically (5) 8. Intelligently analytical and clear-thinking (8) 9. Passed gently through the air (6) 10. To cause continual trouble or distress to (6) 11. A narrow opening resulting from a split or crack (7) 12. Identical (4) 13. Remains in or around a place secretly (6) D I E D E P E O Y D O T R T Y A H A U O N A E B L N S K L S O D H A G M U E T D L E A N E O E D G C S E C R E T P T R G N I K S B A C O N B T T M O L P I E T T O R Y S E L U M P Y R M R N R X E P I D E M I C T Q A E E O A Y N I A R B R E E Z E B L L F R I D G E N D E R U B B E R EPIDEMIC QUEST 17 TACO KING DOGS TOAD ALCOHOL POTTER DOWN GENDER Down OFFSIDE 1. A person who is habitually drunk (8) FRIDGE 1. A person who is habitually drunk (8) 2. Musical Group. Active at night at the end of the week (7,7) HIKE PARANOID 3. Pulls apart with force (5)active at night at the end 2. Musical group, DETOX 4. Causing great horror or fear (7) BACON GUILTY of carried the week 5. A bag on the(7,7) shoulder by a long strap and closed by a flap (7) HOAX STAINED 6. A box in which food, drink (6) BEAN 3.single Pullsinstruction apart with force (5) 7. A that expands automatically (5) CAUGHT TACO 8. Californian National Park (8) bad or unpleasant (7) 4. Very objectionable, TOAD 9. Past gently through the air (6) SWASHBUCKLER Cartoon D G S Q M G T R T L U E F S T A I N E T Y R G F W I U L K S E N R A S A T G T C T R X Y G I S E H Y L O T A C O D H Y T I S E 4 5 I O L C P O U Y C U R U U R M R Suduko PLUG RAINY SYNDROME 3 7 4 YETI POTTER CURRY FRIDGE EPIDEMIC LENTIL MUSSEL PARANOID LYNX GUILTY QUEST BREEZE TRAMP STAINED KING CRAB PETROL CAUGHT TINSEL SWASHBUCKLER DOGS GREEDY RUBBER PLUG ALCOHOL YETI POTATO RAINY QUIET SYNDROME GENDER CURRY SLAP LENTIL OFFSIDE MUSSEL PIE BREEZE HIKE LYNX SECRET CRAB LUMPY GREEDY DETOX TRAMP BACON HOAX BEAN 4 6 PETROL TINSEL RUBBER 5 6 5 8 3 1 8 4 8 3 6 9 9 3 2 9 POTATO QUIET SLAP PIE SECRET LUMPY 3 6 5 2 9 4 Word Puzzle Go to www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/competition for all the answers 45 T*SMU - Cardiff Trans* Support Group Meets on the 4th Thursday of the Month from 6pm to 9.30pm at 1 Cathedral Road, CARDIFF CF11 9SD Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/groups/tsmucardiff/ Are you looking for help and support for Gender Diversity / Gender Identity Issues? Please contact us as your local ggroup in Cardiff and the Surrounding Areas T*SMU is a mutual Support and Social group for all Gender Diverse / Trans*gender people, their family, friend, supporters and allies Call Us Today! for Information and or a chat Tel: 07500 741955 or 07889 620686 PHOENIX THE TRANS SUPPORT GROUP FOR KENT A friendly place to meet for chat / coffee in a secure venue on the first Sunday of each month from 1600 - 1900 Cost £5 per person. Tea/Coffee 50p per cup BI-MONTHLY MEETINGS (Next Meeting January 2015) Venue Address: Lower Rd, Northfleet, Kent DA11 9BL. Contact Becky Essex 07595 159108 beckytvessex@yahho.co.uk CORTEX HERTFORDSHIRE Letchworth, Stevenage and Watford - L. G. B & T Group The L.G.B & T Group is open to transgender people and anyone who wish to come. Meeting places based in Hertfordshire Social activities across UK Tea, coffee and buffet Changing area and parking available www.tgcortex.com or contact Email: cortexherts@yahoo.co.uk Brenda on 01462 742 660 or email: brenda.reeve711@btinternet.com For Stevenage Abi on 07960 153 758 THE BEAUMONT SOCIETY Established 1966 www.beaumontsociety.org.uk The purpose of the BEAUMONT SOCIETY are to form an association of those who help CROSS DRESS or who are TRANSSEXUAL and, through this association, to provide a means of help and communication between members, in order to reduce the emotional stress, eliminate the sense of guilt and so aid better understanding by them and of their families and friends. HELP LINES BS INFORMATION LINE 01582 412220 The Beaumont Trust BM Charity, London, WC1N 3XX Trustline: 07000 287 878 (7pm to 11pm Tues & Thurs) www.gender.org.uk/bt/ Press for Change Scotland Trans-people and the law www.pfc.org.uk Edinburgh Trans Women info@edinburghtranswomen.org.uk Meet on first Saturday monthly 7.30pm to 09.30pm 9 Howe Street EH3 6TE Email or telephone 0131-523-1100 Tel: 08448 708 165 10.00am to 5.00pm Enquiries: office@pfc.org.uk Transsexuals, Transgendered & Partners GENDYS NETWORK www.gender.org.uk/gendys EUROPE Association Beaumont Continental Centre MBE 130 39, Boulevard da la Liberte 35000 RENNES www.abcfr.org BM Gendys London WC1N 3XX Northern Ireland Belfast Butterfly Club 028 9267 3720 (Weds. 8pm to 10pm) www.belfastbutterflyclub.co.uk E-mail: trans@belfastbutterflyclub.co.uk Grampian Gender Group Meet 3rd Saturday Monthly Details Mobile No 07050-562175 Monday & Wedneday 7pm to 9pm The Sandy Initiative Gender Identity Clinic Glasgow Tel No 0141 211 8130 (For Scottish Transsexuals no GP Referral Necessary) You can contact the Facilitator by email sandyfordtranswomen@yahoo.co.uk Lgbt Centre Helpline 0300-123-2523 Tuesdays & Wednesdays from 12 to 9pm Beaumont Partners All enquiries can be directed to orchidbp@virginmedia.com. We also operate a postal service for members who don’t have access to the internet, or just prefer post! If you would like to use this service, you can write to us at the below address. 27 Old Gloucester Street London WC1N 3XX. Please address your letter to “Beaumont Partners”. The views expressed in the Beaumont Magazine are those of the members and do not necessarily reflect the views of the editor or the executive committee of the Beaumont Society. All items appearing in the journal are, except where noted to the contrary, subject to the copyright of the Beaumont Society and shall not be reproduced without the written permission of the Beaumont Society. The editor reserves the right to alter, shorten or refuse any item submitted for publication. The Beaumont Society may not be held responsible for the truth or accuracy of any claims made by any advertiser in this publication. All members are advised to check the price of goods and services offered by advertisers. The Beaumont Magazine is also available for electronic members in PDF format. 47 Weekend 03-06 March 2016 HARROGATE D 2016 WEEKEN Price Special Offer book before 1st December 2015 only £142.00 for Friday and Saturday nights After 1 December 2015 the price becomes £150.00 for Friday and Saturday but there is a £5.00 discount for Beaumont Society members. Extra night(s) (Thursday and Sunday) £54.00 per person per night and includes Dinner, Bed and Breakfast t/PTJOHMFTVQQMFNFOU t'BNJMZBOEGSJFOETBSFXFMDPNF t.FFUBOEHSFFUTFSWJDFGPSOFXDPNFST t'SFFCPUUMFPGSFEBOEXIJUFXJOFPOUBCMF4BUVSEBZPOMZ t4BUVSEBZOJHIUTUIFNFENFBMDPTUVNFPQUJPOBM t&OUFSUBJONFOUUPCFBOOPVODFE t3BGnFBOEEJTDPPSZPVDBOSFUJSFUPUIFMPVOHFUPDIBU t#PUUMFPG$IBNQBHOFGPSCFTUDPTUVNF 1-&"4�,&"3-:50"70*%%*4"110*/5.&/5 For more information contact Kay West. Email: kay.west.online@gmail.com / Tel: 01582 416213 This will be our 24th year at Rotherham. This years event is promising to be as good as ever. Friday Night's theme The Charlston Years'.. (NOT COMPULSORY) Gala Night's theme Red, White & Green', (NOT COMPULSORY) The cost for the full weekend is £172 per person. Extra Day/s THURSDAY 19th £68 per person SUNDAY to Monday 23rd. £68 per person. Single room supplement £15. Dress code applies. Smart and Elegant, as befitting the occasion. No fetish clothing, PVC, Rubber, Children/Baby Clothes. For further details and booking forms Janett invites you to contact her with SAE to :Janett Scott 72, Putteridge Road, Stopsley, Luton, LU2 8HG. E: JScott5426@aol.com T: 01582 732936 Monthly instalments available at no extra cost. Standing orders are welcome. Janett Scott’s Weekend break for Ladies Holiday Inn West Bawtry Road, Rotherham, S60 4NA T: 0870 400 7235 E: reservations@rotherham.kewgreen.co.uk The 24th Ladies Rotherham Weekend Friday 20th to Sunday 22nd November 2015