chiang mai diary this charming man?

SP DR
EC ESS
IA
L
THE MEMBERSHIP JOURNAL OF THE BEAUMONT SOCIETY · ISSUE 91
THIS
CHARMING
MAN?
Paige Turner
TRAN
IN TH S
E
C
Amy J ITY
Harr
is
INTERVIEW WITH
DREW
CHIANG
MAI DIARY
Martina Tyler
MELISSA
PHOTO SPECIAL INCLUDING
HARROGATE AND SPARKLE 2015
TRANS NEWS n FASHION PAGES n TRUE IDENTITIES n PHOTO PAGES n COFFEE BREAK
Holidays
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contents
06
32
President: Kay West
26
THE BEAUMONT
SOCIETY
was established in 1966
Charity status granted (2010)
Registration no. 1135548
Membership
Annual membership of the Society
currently costs £29, for which you receive
four issues of this magazine
22
In this issue
Autumn 2015 · Issue 91
4.
President’s Comment
28. True Identities
6.
Sam & Ellie’s Fashion Pages
30. The New Woman
Electronic membership is now available
for those who do not wish to receive a
magazine in the post, with the magazines
available to read on the website.
If you have any questions about
membership, or would like to join, please
get in touch with your regional organiser
(phone numbers by area on
01582 412220) or Jane Hamlin the
Membership Secretary
(beaumontmembership@btinternet.com)
Application forms can be downloaded
from our website
(http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk)
10. Transgender News
32. Managing Conflict
12. Why I Became a Member
34. Mishaps and Misdemeanours
14. Trans and the Spirit World
36. Dressed to Kill
16. Trans and the City
38. Interview with Drew
18. This Non-Binary Man?
40. Managing Depression
20. Chiang Mai Diary
42. Trans Lakes
The Beaumont Quarterly
Magazine is published and
produced by Goldmine Media
24. Harrogate Summer 2015
45. Coffee Break
Creative Designers:
Jennifer Kirk / Stephanie Wright
26. Sparkle 2015
47. Helplines
Sub Editor:
Patsy Bearman
03
president’s comment
PRESIDENT’S
COMMENT
HELLO MEMBERS
Unfortunately, I need to start my report with
some sad news. It is with regret that I need
to inform you of the passing of one of our
members, Lesley Saunders. Lesley was my eyes
and ears of the North East, as we still do not
have a Regional Organiser for that area. She was
conscientious and very caring and was always
there to offer help to those who needed it.
Lesley was be sadly missed by all who knew her.
I would like to take this opportunity to
announce Judith Dene has taken on the role
of Regional Organiser for Scotland. Judith
will work very closely with Sarah Whyte, Area
Organiser for Scotland, and together they will
deal with issues in Scotland. At this point I
would like to thank Jackie Neill for her past
work as the Scottish Regional Organiser.
We also have a new Fashion Editor, Gill
Springgay, who many of you already know
as our Makeover Girl. I want to extend a
very warm welcome to Gill, who will be
taking over from Eleanor Roberts who
is leaving us, but I would like to take this
occasion to offer my most sincere thanks
to Eleanor for all the hard work she has put
into this very popular column.
I would also like to inform you that
Beaumont Partners should have a support line
up and running by the end of September. More
details of this new service will be available in
the next issue of the magazine and on their
website.
Regarding the Huntingdon venue: our
request for someone to take over the running
of this historically successful monthly meeting
has not come to fruition, so the last scheduled
meeting in November draws closer. We are
always looking for volunteers to help out, so
if you have some spare time and would like to
get more involved with the Beaumont Society,
Autumn Issue 91
Cover Photo: Melissa De Freitas at Kay’s
Harrogate Weekend.
Photo Credit: Rachel Dee
Notice
Annual general meeting of the Beaumont
Society Charity Trust.
The AGM will be held during Janett Scott’s
‘Ladies Rotherham Weekend’.
please email me at kay.west.online@gmail.com
as I would be more than pleased to hear from
you.
The Beaumont app is now available for those
with an Apple iPhone or iPad, but in the future
it should become available on a wider platform
of devices.
As many of you are already aware I hold
two social weekend events in the Cairn Hotel
in Harrogate. This venue is not a closed hotel;
we are mixing with the general public, and as
attendees we are ambassadors for the Trans
community. I would like to stress that friends
and all members of the family are more than
welcome to attend my events, as integration is
a very important part of acceptance which will
lead, one day hopefully, to no one having to
keep being Trans a secret.
If anyone is wondering what breed the three
beautiful puppies jumping all over me in the
photograph in the last edition of the magazine
were, they are Samoyeds and were about eight
weeks old at the time.
My kindest regards to you all,
Kay
Submissions
Do you have something you would like to add? Would you like to
feature inside the Beaumont magazine?
Please send your stories, letters and contributions to
kay.west.online@gmail.com and, you never know, we may include it in the
next issue of Beaumont Quarterly.
04
All members, plus the general public are
cordially invited to attend but please note,
only Society members can vote on any
resolutions.
Details of the meeting are as follows:
Date and time: Saturday 21st. November
2015 at 13.30 hrs.
Location: Holiday Inn, West Bawtry Road,
Rotherham S60 4NA.
Agenda
t 8FMDPNFBOEJOUSPEVDUJPOPGUIF Executive Committee.
t Minutes of the meeting held on the
15th November 2014.
t Presidents Report.
t Treasurers Report.
t Membership Report.
t Re-election of Trustees
t Any other Business.
If you have anything you would like to be
discussed and are unable to attend, please
submit your request to the Executive
stating your name and membership
number and we will do our best to raise
the issue under any other business.
There will also be a wives and partners
meeting which will commence at 2.30pm.
Details of which rooms the meetings are
being held will be advertised in the hotel
foyer.
SAM &
ELLIE’S
FASHION
PAGES
W
e’ve decided to run another
fashion section dedicated to one
area of fashion, this time dresses.
We love dresses, not just because they solve
the problems caused by trying to match up
separates, but because a well-chosen dress
is a thing of beauty when clothing a shapely
human form. Evening dresses, day dresses,
prom dresses: we love them all! We also think
that too many women are too conservative
when choosing dresses, only opting for plain
colours. Why not try a dress with a bold or
animal print? Why follow the dictats of the
‘fashion police’? It would do us all good to
wear something bright and eye-catching
occasionally. Some of the women we see at
some of our local venues look fantastic in
their bright, patterned dresses. It can be good
to throw away the rule book occasionally!
As we said last month, we’ve been writing
these fashion pages for eight years and think
it time for someone else to take over and give
the fashion content of the magazine a fresh
look. If you’d like to have a go, then please
contact Kay. It’s been a pleasure to produce
the fashion pages during those eight years,
and we’d like to thank Bella Swan for allowing
us to try out the idea of a fashion section, and
Kay for encouraging us to continue with it
in recent years. We’ll still be writing for the
magazine but in other ways.
Love from Sam and Ellie.
TH
E
ISSDRESS
UE
06
CHOOSING
N
POC EXT A-L
COR KET DR INE
AVAI AL AT £ ESS IN
3
LAB
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TO 2 IN SIZE
S
2.
A-LINE
A-line dresses are fitted at the hips and
gradually widen as they approach the hem. This
gives them the look of the letter A, hence the
‘A-line’ name. Very popular in the 1950s and
1960s, the A-line dress is still a closet classic.
Common necklines include halter-neck and
strapless. A-line dresses are a good choice for
many trans women because they help to give
the illusion of wider hips.
sam & ellie
A DRESS STYLE
STRAPLESS
Strapless dresses end at the top of the bust and are
held up by their fit and often by an elastic band which
sits just under the bust. Many types of strapless
dresses come with a built-in bra, though some do
require the use of a separate bra for best effect.
Trans women should choose this style of dress only
with a great deal of care. You really don’t want it to
slowly slide down your torso, revealing the fact that
you are wearing falsies. It may be safer to choose an
alternative style with thin straps.
M&
“FLO CO BO
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THE ‘LITTLE
BLACK DRESS’
The original all-purpose dress for every
woman, the ‘little black dress’ is a staple
in every wardrobe, small and large.
Slimming and revealing in all the right
places, little black dresses are usually
uncomplicated, elegant and easy to
wear. The cut depends on the body
type, but as the name implies, little
black dresses tend to be short.
JA
NAV CQUES V
Y
SELL MAXID ERT
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ING
AT £ ESS
199.
SHIFT
Shift dresses are simple, cut above or on the knee,
and typically sleeveless. The bust is fitted via darts,
and the skirt is either straight or slightly A-line.
First seen in the 1920s, the shift dress grew in
popularity in the 1960s and has remained a stylish
option since.
ONE- SHOULDER
One-shoulder dresses can range from
a simple one-shoulder shift dress to
a gown in which the single shoulder
is turned into a bold feature. Some
one-shoulder dresses are created by
effectively tying the dress material at
the shoulder, rather than cutting a
shoulder shape.
07
sam & ellie
S
S
DRE
E
U
S
IS
THE
STYLING A
Finding the right party dress and then matching
it with the right accessories for an evening out
can be difficult. Here are some tips.
TIP 1: WORK ON THE WHOLE LOOK
When putting together a party-dress look,
you should avoid having too many points of
interest. A dress with many design details, for
example, should not be paired with a large
pair of earrings or shoes that also feature
excessive design elements. Instead, choose
one area of focus and then use the rest of
the elements in the outfit to supplement or
complement that central detail.
A dress with a large ruffle detail, say,
should be worn with small earrings that pull
out a specific colour in the dress. Likewise,
very ornate earrings can be used as the focal
point in a pairing with a very simple party
dress. In this way, you can achieve an overall
balance that shows an elegant sense of style.
TIP 2: MAKE-UP CHOICES AS AN
ACCESSORY ITEM
When applying make-up to go with a party
dress, consider it as a key part of the overall
look. Just as with wearing jewellery or
selecting a pair of shoes, the make-up choices
should reflect a sense of balance. A strong
lip, for example, in a deep red can act as
an accessory item. On the other side of the
spectrum, very dramatic eyes with a more
subtle lip look can be another way to create
an overall effect.
“DE DEBENH
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SELL ER MAX LTIWAY
AVAI ING AT IDRESS
£
LAB
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UP T
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08
TIP 3: LET THE PARTY DRESS STEP
ASIDE FOR A BOLD NECKLACE
As mentioned earlier, the party dress
does not always need to be the centre
of attention. A particularly dramatic
choice is to find a bold necklace that
acts as the focus and then pick
an elegant, strapless dress that
complements the necklace but
does not get in its way. This can be a
great look for women who like to show their
shoulders.
TIP 4: MAKE A CLUTCH THE JEWELLERY
ITEM IN A PARTY DRESS LOOK
A beaded or detailed clutch can function
as a jewellery item much in the same way a
necklace or bracelet might. Consider pairing
M&
“PO S LINE
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AT £ MIX. S S IN A
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39.5
NG
0
TO 2IN SIZES
4
sam & ellie
PARTY DRESS
lipstick can leave you looking as if you’ve just
stepped out of the 1950s. The idea should
be to create an overall, balanced effect with
different colours working together.
TIP 8: ALWAYS CONSIDER PROPORTION
Considering proportion in a party look is
always essential. Large volumes of material,
for example, can only work on a few body
types, while minimal looks are also restricted
to just a few. Small women should stay away
from oversized dresses and big, heavily
accessorised looks. Likewise, tall women
should stay away from micro minis and
small accessories but can better get away
with a large pair of earrings. Women who are
full-figured should concentrate on creating
a proportioned, hourglass silhouette and
should not use a lot of fabric and a big look to
hide behind.
WR
EVE IST LEN
FRO NING G GTH
ML
LOV
BOX IGHT IN ES
AT £
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4.37 HE
an ornate clutch with a banded bracelet
worn on the arm carrying the clutch, and
then choose a minimal look in the rest of the
outfit. Go for a slightly plainer necklace and
earrings to allow the wrist and clutch to be
the centre of the look.
TIP 9: UNDERGARMENTS SHOULD
STAY UNDER
While it has become common and accepted
for undergarments to show to a degree in
a woman’s outfit, letting this happen in an
evening or party look does not work. You
should find undergarments or shapewear that
work perfectly with a dress and do not show
or peek out.
TIP 5: CONSIDER BODY TYPE WHEN
STYLING A PARTY DRESS
Accessories can also be used to distract from
less flattering parts of the body. You might
try a shawl or shrug to distract the eyes from
your hips if you are self-conscious about
them. Another example might be wearing
a wide belt to distract attention from a very
large bust. There are many ways in which you
can use accessories and styling to either flatter
or balance out your figure.
TIP 6: DON’T IGNORE GLOVES
While not as common as they once were,
dress gloves can still work as an effective
part of a party dress. For very formal affairs,
they are a more obvious choice and can add
just the right amount of refinement to a
long evening gown. Gloves can also work,
however, at more casual events. They can be
used as a unique accent with a retro look,
for example, while gloves that end at the
wrist can accentuate the controlled lines of
an elegant pencil-style dress. You should
experiment and see what one-of-a-kind
moments you can create with the right pair of
dress gloves.
TIP 7: AVOID BEING TOO ‘MATCHYMATCHY’
Compiling a look should never be about
matching all the colours in an ensemble. A
solid, red purse, for example, should never be
TIP 10: PUT ASIDE THE HEADGEAR
The right fascinator or hat can be a great
touch at certain events, but, by and large,
when dressing for a party, you should allow
your face and hair to shine through clear
and true. Hiding behind an ornate hat or
headpiece will only detract from your own
look and leave you being an accessory to your
own hat.
M
PRIN&CO FL
SELL T MAXI ORAL
AND ING AT DRESS
£29
AVA
SIZE ILABLE .50
S TO
I
20 N
worn with solid, red shoes anymore. Instead,
you should focus on contrasting, or using
each accessory to hit a different note in a
look. Matching the purse to the shoes to the
09
TRANSGENDERNEWS
TILLY THE TRANSGENDER TEDDY
A woman has written a children’s book starring
a transgender teddy bear after being inspired
by her father who transitioned into a woman.
Jessica Walton, 30, a secondary teacher
turned public servant who lives in Melbourne,
and her wife welcomed their 18-month-old
son Errol into the world shortly after her father
became Tina.
However, Walton was frustrated by the lack
of books aimed at young children that featured
transgender characters – so she decided to
create her own.
The book, Introducing Teddy, tells the story
of a transgender teddy bear who shares her
true identity as Tilly with her best friend Errol,
and is quickly accepted with open arms. The
self-published book is being crowdfunded
through a Kickstarter campaign.
Walton wrote the book after discovering
there were few children’s books available for
her son that she felt reflected her own family.
According to The Guardian, Walton decided
to ‘write the book we wanted to read to our
son’ herself. Thus, Tilly the teddy bear and the
subsequent Kickstarter campaign were born.
According to Walton’s bio on her Kickstarter
page, this will be her first published picture
book.
‘Being transgender is not a problem,’ says
Walton on her Kickstarter video, which is filled
with her own family photos. ‘It’s only a problem
when society makes it one...we can all do so
much better.’ The book will be finished in early
December, and the money raised will be used
to pay for illustrator Dougal MacPherson, print
production, shipping costs and Kickstarter fees.
by Poppy Willis
LAUNCH OF THE FIRST MISS
TRANSGENDER UK PAGEANT
A transgender woman has launched the
first Miss Transgender UK pageant to help
other transitioning women feel like royalty.
Rachael Bailey, who was born male and
grew up as a boy named Patrick, has used
her life savings to establish the competition.
She was inspired to set up the contest
after a lifetime of struggling with her own
identity and said she wants to give other
transgender women the confidence to
embrace who they really are.
Events will be held in Birmingham,
Cardiff, Glasgow, Manchester and Brighton,
with the winner receiving a £5,000 cash
prize at the London final in September.
The competition costs £25 to enter, and
60% of all profits will go to LGBT charities
across the UK, including the Elton John
AIDS Foundation.
HELPING TRANS PEOPLE ACCESS SAFE HEALTHCARE
According to research from the National
Center of Transgender Equality, one in four
transgender people in America delay seeking
healthcare due to discrimination, but a startup
called MyTransHealth aims to address this with
a website designed to help trans people access
safe healthcare.
The service, which will be free to use, was
fully funded on Kickstarter, raising $30,000, and
will launch later this year in New York City, Miami
and San Francisco.
When it first launches, the MyTransHealth
website will include a list of verified doctors in
each city, along with a detailed search feature
that will allow users to locate providers by the
type of care they need.
The co-founder and CTO of MyTransHealth,
Amelia Gapin, said they would be launching
with a responsive website instead of a mobile
application so it is more accessible to the trans
community. According to the National LGBTQ
Task Force, transgender people in America are
10
four times as likely to have an annual income
under $10,000, which means smartphone apps
would not be as accessible.
To be on the site, healthcare providers
must pass a screening process that entails
answering a series of questions to determine
their knowledge of trans issues and level of
inclusiveness. MyTransHealth already have over
50 doctors in their database and have been
contacted by several doctors who are willing
to learn more.
With the Kickstarter funding,
MyTransHealth will hire other
transgender people to help verify
the providers. Their lists and reviews
will be heavily screened to ensure the
validity of each provider.
Gapin said that her team were
inspired to set up the company
after seeing how many transgender
people shared their stories via the
#TransHealthFail hashtag, showing that
MyTransHealth is necessary and important.
The National Center for Transgender Equality
also reported that 34% of black transgender
people reported postponing care when they
needed it due to fear of discrimination. Gapin
and her team hope to account for that during the
screening process for doctors.
by Diane Slater
BOY MEETS GIRL:
BRITAIN’S FIRST
TRANSGENDERTHEMED SITCOM
In September, BBC Two will premiere the UK’s very first trans-themed
sitcom, starring transgender actress Rebecca Root.
Boy Meets Girl follows a simple premise featuring a young man
named Leo, played by Harry Hepple, who is recently fired from his
job, running into a trans woman named Judy (Root) on the street, who
he later enters into a relationship with. The script, by Elliott Kerrigan,
was discovered through the Trans Comedy Award, a 2013 BBC talent
search for scripts with positive portrayals of transgender characters.
Both Root and her character Judy are transgender, making this
the first BBC comedy to feature transgender issues prominently, and
the first sitcom to star a transgender actor. Root is also a stand-up
comedian and voice coach, teaching transgender people to help find
voices that they feel fits their gender.
In January 2012, All About Trans organised an event, ‘Trans Camp’,
involving people from the trans community and media, aiming to help
the media provide accurate depictions of transgender people. Off
the back of this, the BBC ran the Trans Comedy Award talent search
later that year, offering comedy writers up to £5,000 for scripts with
positive portrayals of transgender characters. The BBC received 320
script entries, with one of the two winners being Boy Meets Girl (then
titled Love).
A pilot episode was shown at the BBC’s Salford Sitcom Showcase
in March 2014, and the show was commissioned after that. The main
series acquired co-writers Simon Carlyle and Andrew Mettam, and will
have six 30-minute episodes (including the pilot episode with some
re-shot scenes) set and recorded in Manchester.
After the pilot episode aired, The Independent compared Boy
Meets Girl to the award-winning Gavin & Stacey, a comparison the
BBC had said they were looking to make.
by Trixie D’Arcy
There are three types
of accountants…
Those who can't count…
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For all your accounting
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RONALD SPIEGEL
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(You may know me as Rachel)
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“Trans in the
21st Century”
Edited By Alice Purnell
and Jed Bland
ISBN 978 0952 135 777
By, Joanna Darrell
Trans in the 21st Century, or, T21C as it’s come
to be known, is the Beaumont Trusts update
to its previous publication “Transvestism and
Cross-dressing. Modern Views”.
Divided into 20 sections, 7 of which are related to
“medical matters”, 8 to “Transgender groups, including
families” and the remainder being spread across a
number of categories including personal accounts and
Trans culture and history. More extensive than it’s
predecessor, the book covers a broader range of
material within each section. The transgender section
now features a number of personnel accounts, which not
only help make the book more accessible to readers but
also provide a useful insight for healthcare professionals.
“Trans in the 21st Century” is priced at £15.00 (excluding P&P) and
is available from both the Beaumont Society and Beaumont Trust.
Either email email@beaumontsociety.org.uk or visit the Beaumont
Trusts website at www.beaumont-trust.org.uk.
11
why i am a member
by Jenny List
It’s probably fair to
say that announcing
your membership of
the Beaumont Society
in many parts of the
transgender community
these days does not
mark you out as one of
the Cool Kids.
12
S
omething of an embarrassing
relic, out of touch and deeply out
of fashion. Younger and fresher
activists have taken on the transgender banner,
and we’re somehow stuck in a closeted past.
An unflattering portrait, laden as it is with
unfortunate mental images. Truth be told, one
not entirely without foundation either. After
all, the Society’s history goes back decades,
into a time when the world was very different
indeed for transgender people.
If you dig a little deeper into the views of
our critics, you start to touch on something
else. A rather unpleasant undercurrent in
our wider community, but something which
resistance against forms the bedrock of my
support for the Society.
It’s something I have encountered all too
often as I move within our community yet
have rarely seen addressed: the question of
internalised transphobia. People who set
the bar for acceptability in the transgender
community somewhere below what they feel
themselves to have attained, and abandon or
vilify those beneath it in an attempt to validate
their own progress.
Society members provide support to
countless people. Those on their first steps on
a path that will lead to a full-time existence.
Those for whom their contact with us is their
only excuse to venture from the closet. Those
who were robbed of their youth as they should
be by simple virtue of being born in the wrong
decade, and who without the support they
receive might well become another suicide
statistic.
Sadly our critics overlook this. They will
judge an event or a support group on their
perceptions of how its attendees measure up
to themselves, and gloss over the fact that if
it happened to them they’d be the first to call
transphobia.
So while the Society remains the only
national organisation I’m aware of whose
members turn out on damp Saturday nights
in draughty village halls to provide an unlikely
beacon of hope, while those suicide statistics
are held at bay, I’ll be a member. A friendly
welcome at the closet door is worth a hundred
self-publicist trans celebrities and a thousand
armchair social media activists.
You are my fellow Beaumont Society
members. You are not afraid to live
outrageously, to congregate and express
yourself through clothing as whatever takes
your fancy. This is anathema to our critics, so
revel in it. If it was you in that draughty village
hall helping a nervous new arrival, you’ve
earned it!
It seemed appropriate to nail my colours to
the mast in my first outing.
Read REPARTEE on-line for less than
With no download
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£1 a copy*
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country” Mary, Chair Manchester Concord
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Telephone: 01226 754252
41
transgender and the spirit world
E
ven in the womb, our mothers
have emotions and thoughts
about who we are and who we
will become in relation to Who
They Are and What They Do in their own
lives. If a mother does not ask about the
gender of her baby beforehand, there may
be a subconscious emotional reaction other
than joy during the birthing process. If Mom
does know the gender ahead of time, this
may also prove to be an issue later in life.
In this paragraph alone, we become aware
of concepts like nature vs. nurture, preconditioned responses and mitigating factors
that already contribute to this baby’s sense
of Self.
What if this hypothetical baby has
decided its gender even before conception?
Assuming this immortal soul chose these
hypothetical parent(s), geographical location
and future body, it may also be wise enough
to know what gender it is supposed to be. If
these guardian(s) feel a certain way about
this Spirit Energy after this spirit has already
Manifested their path, whatthen?
TRANSGENDER
AND THE
SPIRIT WORLD
We are born. We die. But what happens
in between? We experience Life.
by Amy J. Harris.
14
SUCH IS THE DILEMMA OF
TRANSGENDER PEOPLE.
Imagine you are born a baby girl to people
who wanted a son. In some countries this is
a death sentence. Perhaps a fate worse than
death is a life lived falsely. Say this same
baby girl is allowed to live and chooses to
become a male at some point in her life. If
the parents always wanted a son, why would
they not be thrilled with this soul’s choice?
The answer is that there is societal pressure
to conform or be ostracised. For the sake of
this article, let us call this hypothetical baby
‘Jo’.
At first everyone will say, ‘How cute, Jo
climbs trees and is a tomboy.’ But the other
boys in her neighbourhood and school, for
whatever reason, will not play with her, and
the girl gangs tease her mercilessly, saying
she should have an ‘e’ on the end of her
name, because her parents made a mistake
not naming her Joseph. Eventually her
parents force her to play with dolls and wear
girly dresses so the neighbours and teachers
stop making judgemental comments. This
girl is miserable and confused.
Jo surrenders to her socially decided
gender, withdraws and plays the game. She
even prefers to sexually experiment with
girls over boys secretly as she grows up. Then
one day she was caught at it and punished.
So she dissociated from her unchosen reality
and lost herself entirely.
transgender and the spirit world
Then, once she became an adult, she took
her life back and transformed into the man
she always knew she was.
Because this transgender woman loves her
family and does not want to hurt them, Jo
lives a hermited, hermaphroditic existence.
She is labelled a butchy lesbian by her
many friends, and sometimes this is done
hurtfully. So she circles the wagons even
closer. So close that she falls in love with her
best friend and is rejected.
Devastated, Jo withdraws altogether and
becomes severely depressed. Her work
suffers and she is laid off. Thankfully, she
saved every dollar she could and invested
wisely. She sells her entire stock market
portfolio and decides to have sexual
reassignment surgery. The doctor starts
her on a testosterone hormone treatment
regimen.
Imagine you are born
a baby girl to people
who wanted a son. In
some countries this
is a death sentence.
Jo and her doctor discuss bilateral
mastectomy, along with chest reshaping and
areola reconstruction with skin grafting,
because her breasts are sizeable. She will have
pectoralis muscle scarring, but the doctor
assures her this will create proper male
nipple placement and alignment. She does
not get a second opinion, where she might
have learned an alternate way of surgery
that would not have resulted in the loss of
sensation she still suffers from today.
Jo is satisfied enough with the surgery that
she also has her uterus, cervix, ovaries and
fallopean tubes removed, because she did not
stop menstruating when given testosterone at
high levels. Anyway, she lives in a state that
requires sterilisation in order to change the
sex marker on her government documents.
She does not go as far as having genital
reassignment surgery due to too many
potential complications, even though her
doctor reminded her incessantly of her family
history of various female organ cancers.
When Jo was growing up, her family had her
rescued bulldog neutered, and she saw the
complications that happened when prosthetic
testicles were inserted. But she refuses to see
a gynaecologist after a forced visit by her
mother at 17 resulted in the mother’s male
doctor molesting her, so she suffers female
maladies now and again.
She is now confident enough to publicly
call herself a man, so Jo begins his new life
with a new job, and since he is now a man,
his gender confusion was blown off during
the interview process. He makes new friends,
learns what male problems are and how to
overcome them, and lives harmoniously as
long as he does not have too much contact
with his blood relatives, who never entirely
accept him as a male.
When he meets and falls in love with a
co-worker, Jo comes clean and finds lasting
Unconditional Love for the first time ever. Jo
and Jim become life partners, and because
Jim is a man, Jo’s family also learns how
to love and accept Jo for who he really is.
Jo’s former best friend even attends their
wedding.
Jim and his family had long ago accepted
that he was gay, and everyone was shocked
to learn otherwise, including Jim. Though
here we can see that sexual preference and
gender become irrelevant when True Love
happens. Whereas in the past the couple
thought adopting children to start a family
was their only option, they are excited about
the infinite possibilities their future together
now holds.
also a Truth Worker, Psychic Life Guide and
philosopher at heart, who believes in diversity
and is accepting of EVERYONE’s personal
choices, as long as they strive for happiness
while making them, and as long as such
choices do not include physically harming
other people or pets.
Amy herself, for different and various
reasons, was rarely accepted by family, friends
and society as she slowly but surely learned to
break free of her conditioning and own HER
life. At the age of 43, she is Aware that she no
longer needs to defend or justify her actions
to anyone other than herself and her Source
(non-denominational, gender-free ‘god’). She
hopes this article will help transgender people
learn to do the same, whether they believe
in an external force or not, because Amy
champions people who independently rely on
themselves in life.
Amy and Kay made a business connection
on the LinkedIn social networking site and
proudly present this article to you together.
Amy’s hopes for the future include helping to
create a world where people eschew their overly
competitive ways and negative behavioural
patterns in favour of Self-Love and Love for
everything and everyone on planet Earth. And
yes, she is an idealist and a dreamer, but she
also creates change and wakes people up to
higher consciousness wherever she goes.
WE ARE BORN. WE DIE. BUT
WHAT HAPPENS IN BETWEEN? WE
EXPERIENCE LIFE.
ISN’T THE EXPERIENCE WORTH IT?
Amy J Harris, author of The Truthful Intuitive
Guide to Life Everlasting (available on www.
amazon.com), is a published writer
and poet, and world-travelling
healer of Eastern Modalities. She is
15
trans and the city
My name is Amy J. Harris, but I don’t know What I Am.
M
y birth certificate says
I was born a girl in
Princeton Hospital, in the
state of NJ, USA. I grew up
climbing trees and scaring the neighbours
with my audacity of Speaking Truth. My
mother cut my hair so short I looked like
a boy, and she never dressed me in pink. I
was put into ballet classes at the age of five,
perhaps to teach me some sense of grace
and discipline. I also had to wear a tutu,
so that probably helped everyone know I
was a girl. Plus I was forced to wear pink
in every class.
I stuck with ballet for 30 years and felt
very much like a girl. On and off, though,
I have been attracted to women and never
quite understood why, other than the fact
that the general population agrees they
are prettier than men in body, mind and
spirit. Once a girl kissed me in a bar, and
I did not like it because she had a tongue
ring.
As a 43-year-old woman, I have
experienced high levels of abuse by far too
many men in my biological family, friends
of parents and even the men I have chosen
as lovers over my lifetime. I am twice
married, and this husband is better than
the last by far, but still he cannot figure out
how to love a woman whose name means
‘beloved’ in French, because she never
feels anyone can love her the way she loves
others. He agrees that is the Truth, so she
16
plows on Feeling Unloved; like nobody
can ever really make her happy.
Astrologically, I am sun sign Leo, ruled
by the sun. Fixed Masculine Fire Sign. I
look like a woman without argument. It
can be said I have my Masculine Energies
well intact, and I do. Men fear my
strength and women are jealous of how
well I function in what remains a largely
patriarchal world.
It feels like I do not belong, and so far
what I have read about the transgender
population tells me we have at least that
much in common.
I WAS PUT INTO BALLET
CLASSES AT THE AGE
OF FIVE, PERHAPS
TO TEACH ME SOME
SENSE OF GRACE AND
DISCIPLINE. I ALSO HAD
TO WEAR A TUTU, SO
THAT PROBABLY HELPED
EVERYONE KNOW I
WAS A GIRL. PLUS I WAS
FORCED TO WEAR PINK
IN EVERY CLASS.
Maybe less important than figuring
out What I Am is assessing Who I Am,
which has become a daily occurrence in
2015. I am an established poet and writer.
A dancer and dance teacher. A painter.
Most creative pursuits go well for me, and
I can even engage the left side of my brain
handily when called upon to do so, like
during the accounting career my parents
forced me into.
For 20 years I hated my jobs in finance
because I was good enough to be a prima
ballerina, and my parents said they would
not support me in any creative endeavour
once I became an adult, because there is
no money in creativity.
WHAT ABOUT HAPPINESS?
They both died never getting the answer
to THAT question, which is typical for
money chasers.
Did that answer the question of Who
I Am though? Are we What We Do? Of
course not! Closer to the truth of the Who
Am I question involves gender, sexual
orientation and all preferences in general
that have more to do with the INSIDE of
one’s body than anything apparent in what
we look like. So we go about our daily
business unsure of Who We Are.
We may even observe others to figure
it out, liking or disliking, even absorbing
certain mannerisms to try them on for
size, like a pair of thrift store shoes. I am
a firm believer that, when buying second
hand, our feet should be left out of it.
There is an expression that references
walking in someone else’s shoes, but they
do not mean literally.
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41
this charming man?
In October 2013, Morrissey
released a statement through
his semi-official website, which
said: “Unfortunately, I am
not homosexual. In technical
fact, I am humasexual. I am
attracted to humans. But, of
course...not many.”
THIS
CHARMING
MAN?
by Paige Turner
LOVE HIM OR HATE HIM, THERE’S NO
DENYING THAT MORRISSEY IS ONE
OF THE MOST ICONIC, OUTSPOKEN,
MISUNDERSTOOD AND CONTROVERSIAL
FIGURES WITHIN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY
OVER THE LAST 30 YEARS.
18
this charming man?
S
teven Patrick Morrissey was born 22 May
1959, commonly known by his last name,
Morrissey, or by his nickname, Moz. He rose to
prominence in the 1980s as the vocalist of rock
band The Smiths. When the band broke up in
1987, Morrissey began a solo career, going on to make the
top ten of the UK Singles Chart on ten separate occasions.
MARGARET ON THE GUILLOTINE
Cultural historian Julian Stringer notes that The Smiths
and Morrissey were a product of and a reaction against
Thatcherism, and that their rise to fame ‘can be seen as
the only sustained response that white, English pop/
rock music was able to make against the Conservative
Government’s appropriation of white, English national
identity...that being the case, it is not really surprising
that the response is utterly riddled with contradiction.’
Other scholars have responded
favourably to Morrissey’s work:
Gavin Hopps, a research fellow
and literary scholar at the
University of St. Andrews, wrote
a full-length academic study of
Morrissey’s work, calling him
comparable to Oscar Wilde, John
Betjeman and Philip Larkin,
and noting similarities between
Morrissey and Samuel Beckett.
HE JUST WANTS TO
LIVE HIS LIFE THIS
WAY
celibate. However, his sexuality has been a matter of
much conjecture over the years. The Encyclopædia
Britannica states that he created a ‘compellingly
conflicted persona...loudly proclaimed celibacy offset
by coy hints of closeted homosexuality, which has made
him a peculiar heartthrob.’ In 1984, Morrissey famously
stated that he ‘refused to recognise the terms hetero-,
bi- and homo-sexual because everybody has exactly
the same sexual needs.’ An article on The Smiths from
Rolling Stone published in 1984 claimed that Morrissey
‘admits he’s gay’, but Morrissey responded that it was
news to him.
The speculation was further fuelled by the frequent
references to gay subculture and slang in his lyrics. In
2006, Liz Hoggard from The Independent noted, ‘Only
15 years after homosexuality had been decriminalised,
his lyrics flirted with every kind of gay subculture,’
for example, saying that ‘“This
Charming Man”...is about agegap, gay sex.’ Music critic and
senior editor of AllMusic Stephen
Thomas Erlewine noted that lyrics
to The Smiths’ single ‘Hand in
Glove’ contain ‘veiled references
to homosexuality.’
THROUGHOUT MUCH
OF HIS CAREER,
HE MAINTAINED IN
INTERVIEWS THAT
HE WAS ASEXUAL OR
NON-BINARY AND
CELIBATE. HOWEVER
HIS SEXUALITY HAS
BEEN A MATTER OF
MUCH CONJECTURE
OVER THE YEARS.
Morrissey’s lyrics have been
described as ‘dramatic, bleak,
funny vignettes about doomed
relationships, lonely nightclubs,
the burden of the past and the prison of the home.’
In the media, controversies have been caused by his
forthright and often contrarian opinions, and he has
also attracted media attention for his advocacy of
vegetarianism, animal rights and his sexuality. There
are many references in his lyrics to sexuality, and even
cross-dressing. For example, the track ‘Vicar In A Tutu’
from the album The Queen Is Dead is a light-hearted
skit about cross-dressing where Morrissey uses a crossdressing clergyman as his muse, and there seems to be
a similar underlying theme in a large majority of his
lyrics – an expression of freedom and rebelling against
accepted social behaviour. ‘Vicar In A Tutu’ in particular
has a profound subtext, reinforced by Morrissey’s
closing admission that he, like the tutu-clad vicar, is a
sign of life’s glorious abnormalities.
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
Throughout much of his career, he maintained in
interviews that he was asexual (or ‘non-binary’) and
LAST NIGHT I DREAMT
THAT SOMEBODY
LOVED ME
In a 1997 interview, Morrissey
revealed he had been in a
relationship with someone for two
years, but it had ended and the
person in question had stopped
loving him. He did not reveal the
sex of his partner or whether it
was a sexual relationship, but said he cared deeply for
the person and hoped they had shared similar feelings.
That person was revealed in Morrissey’s autobiography
to be a photographer named Jake Walters.
BIGMOUTH STRIKES AGAIN
Morrissey is routinely referred to as an influential artist,
both in his solo career and with The Smiths. The BBC
has referred to him as ‘one of the most influential figures
in the history of British pop.’ In 2006, Morrissey was
voted the second greatest living British icon in a poll
held by the BBC’s Culture Show. Since the early 80s,
fans and music writers the world over have continued
to study his lyrics and search for the true meanings
behind them. And now it seems there is the ongoing
mystery of Morrissey’s true sexuality too. In October
2013, Morrissey released a statement through his semiofficial website which said: ‘Unfortunately, I am not
homosexual. In technical fact, I am humasexual. I am
attracted to humans. But, of course...not many.’
19
chiang mai diary
In late January 2014, I went to
Chiang Mai (CM) for four days, which
gave me the entire time to be a
girl (whoopee!) and to see my good
friend Cathy. CM has come a long
way since I started going there 15
years ago and is a vibrant city with
plenty to see and do.
Chiang
Mai Diary
by Martina Tyler
Rachapreuk Gardens
Day 1
On 24 January, I flew from Bangkok, where I
was living at the time, to CM with a suitcase
weighing 18.1 kg: that was 18 kg of girl’s things
and 0.1 kg of boys stuff – just about a pair of
socks, I think. For carry-on, I also had my
camera and five lenses (bloody heavy), ready
for some serious photography as opportunities
arose. Arrived at CM airport on time and
picked up a taxi for Baht 120 (about $4) to
take me to my hotel, the Centara Duan Tawan,
not far from the famous Night Market and the
river. Twiggy (my wife) and I have stayed there
many times before.
As soon as I was in the room, I started
metamorphosing into Martina. Once fully
booted and spurred in a nice, but plain,
Diana Ferrari dress and my silver (low) heels,
I headed to the 7-11 across the road to buy
40
some breakfast for the next day, as my room
(cheapest rate) did not include it. The 7-11
was full of men and I seemed to be getting a
few looks – until I realised I was probably a
bit overdressed for the time of day; still, that
didn’t bother me. As it turned out, the shop had
nothing worth buying, so I shelved that idea
until later.
Cathy picked me up from the hotel about
6pm and took me to a Burmese restaurant
next to the Moat. (CM was built as a walled
city in 1296 with a moat all the way around;
the moat and fragments of the walls are still
there. Each side of the square is, from memory,
one mile long. CM was originally the capital
of the kingdom of Lan Na (pronounced Laan
Naa) until being absorbed into Siam in the
18th century.) The food was excellent and the
house red was very acceptable indeed. We ate
vegetarian, as Cathy is not a carnivore like me,
but I did not mind because the food was so
delicious. She is also teetotal, which was fine by
me, as she was to be my driver during my stay.
After dinner, we went to a new and rather
magnificent shopping mall called Central
Festival, east of the city. We wandered around
a few dress shops but didn’t succumb to
temptation. Marks & Spencer had some
Managing Depression
lovely miniskirts, but too expensive for me –
have to wait for the sale! The weather in CM
was decidedly cold at night, so we had hot
chocolate at Starbucks (girl chatting constantly
throughout), after which I picked up some
muesli and milk from the supermarket before
heading back to the hotel.
Day 2
In the morning, I wanted to get dressed straight
away, but did so slowly, taking the time to preen
myself all over and touch up my nails: OPI
Aphrodite’s Pink Nightie (where do they get
these names from?!). Cathy was picking me up
at midday, and I was happy to hang around in
the room until then in my grey mini, blue top
and silver heels. Just before going out, I changed
into a longer, more ‘politically-correct’ skirt and
another blue top with flat shoes, as we intended
to do some walking. I had wanted to borrow
one of Twiggy’s blue tops, but she cunningly left
it in Australia!
Cathy took me to a small restaurant by the
river called Regina. At the front there is a shop
full of bric-a-brac and curios reminiscent of
a Steptoe and Son second-hand emporium;
the restaurant is out the back and we found a
table overlooking the river. There used to be a
footbridge nearby, but it had collapsed in the
flooding, and people were now fishing from
the rubble. The restaurant was populated with
several cats, two of whom smoodged up to us in
the hope of a friendly pat and maybe a morsel
of food, as I had a fried rice with ham. The light
was very harsh, but I managed a few photos of
21
chiang mai diary
Cathy with a pussycat that was very chummy,
with the animal no doubt moving in on the
next customer after we had left.
Cathy (who just happens to work in real
estate) drove me past some places where
she thought I might want to rent as we were
planning to move to CM later that year.
On the way, we stopped at a Doi Chang
coffee shop for refreshments, and then on
to Ratchapruek Gardens, which is a huge
park full of beautiful gardens, and where the
famous Chiang Mai flower show is hosted.
We hoped to find some good places to take
photos.
The park is very large, and there was a
Tulip Festival being held, although we never
made it that far, stuck as we were with other
scenic backdrops. However, you can see from
the photos that there were many photogenic
places, and we simply ran out of time, several
hundred photos later! We left about 5pm so
I could return to the hotel and change into
something presentable for dinner.
For dinner, I put on one of my favourite
short dresses, and we again went to a
vegetarian restaurant. I didn’t like the food
much, as it seemed to be watered down and
not very tasty, although I am sure it did us a
lot of good. However, the real killer was that
22
Sadly, I had to find some
boy gear and go back to
Bangkok the next day,
but I did have a great
time. Thanks Cathy, it was
wonderful to be a girl for
four whole days without
ever having to change my
nail varnish once!
they had no booze (aarrggh!!!), although I
should have taken some wine if had known in
advance.
Day 3
On the third day, Cathy took me to an
apartment block which she thought might be
of interest to us to rent, and then to a lovely
little cafe in Nimmanhemin, where we had
an excellent lunch with a lovely English lady
called Dorothy. She greeted me as Martina
without any hint that my being a T-girl was
anything outside the usual; in fact, it became
clear very quickly that she has an open mind
and accepts people as they are. I really like
that. She told me that she had married a man
from Ghana, Africa in England in the 60s and
had endured all the racial flak that goes with
it, so she knows what it’s like to be a minority
target for those who choose (usually for the
worst of reasons) to be horrible to others. I
thought she was a very interesting person
and a delight to meet, and I have continued a
friendship with her to this day.
About 3pm, Cathy and I journeyed up
the mountain towards the famous tourist
attraction of Doi Suthep, but stopped about
500m short to look at a lesser-known temple
called Wat Palad, hidden away in the jungle
on the mountain slopes. There were not
many people around, so it was an ideal place
to take some photos of the temple and the
nearby waterfall in the failing afternoon light.
After getting some great shots, Cathy took
me back to the hotel. She is not much of a
dinner eater, so we agreed I would go out
separately to dine. However, the place I chose
did not have wine, only beer, which I did not
chiang mai diary
feel like drinking, so I was doomed to endure
a second alcohol-free night!
I am sure my liver appreciated it though.
Day 4
On my last day, we went to a nice little
vegetarian restaurant near the centre of
the old city and both had slightly different
versions of fried rice and fruit juice for lunch.
Delightful!
After that, our target for the day was Baan
Tawai, a large village south of Chiang Mai
famous for its arts and crafts – painting, wood
carving, lamps, clocks; you name it, they had
it! The place was delightful and, best of all,
there was hardly anyone there. We stopped at
a coffee shop first and then plunged in.
Again, Cathy preferred not to go out
to dinner, but we agreed to meet at the
restaurant after I had finished my main course
to have dessert and coffee or tea. So I dressed
up in a black top and cardigan and put on
the grey miniskirt, but somehow thought
it might be a bit too short to inflict on CM
just yet! I made it to the lift, but chickened
out and went back to the room and put on a
more ‘politically-correct’ skirt for the ten-orso-minute walk to the restaurant, the River
Market, which is a favourite of mine. It has a
lovely atmosphere with good food and good
service. I had a nice meal and three glasses of
the house red which was fine, but not as good
as I have had there before.
Cathy came when I had finished my dinner,
and I had some ice cream and she had tea. We
chatted for about an hour and then, outside
the restaurant, hugged and went our separate
ways, vowing to meet up again in the not-toodistant future.
I walked the 300m back to the hotel,
passing a few bars on the way. Not many
people about and, although I heard one
wolf-whistle, did not look to see where it was
coming from. Still, I was relieved to make the
relative safety of the Night Market. However,
when I got back to my room, a mischievous
imp whispered in my ear: ‘Go on, put that
miniskirt on and go for a walk through the
Night Market. I dare you, ha ha!’ I think the
imp had had one too many wines but, before
I knew it, there I was walking through the
Night Market in my grey mini – naughty
Martina! And yes, I did get some looks. In
fact, a lady street vendor yelled out: ‘Sek-see!
Sek-see!’ Oh, what fun! It really was the icing
on the cake.
Sadly, I had to find some boy gear and go
back to Bangkok the next day, but I did have
a great time. Thanks Cathy, it was wonderful
to be a girl for four whole days without ever
having to change my nail varnish once!
41
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23
true identities
TRUE IDENTITIES
One of the problems in writing a regular column in a quarterly magazine is the time
interval between submission and publication.
2015 wigless
T
2015 blonde again
hings can happen fast. Thus it was
that last time I mentioned Bruce
Jenner. When I wrote that piece he
had just announced that he was going to
become a woman but would be sticking with
his male name until his transition occurred.
By the time the Summer Beaumont Quarterly
appeared, Caitlin Jenner was on the cover
of Vanity Fair with a series of photographs
showing her as a stunningly attractive woman.
I suppose it shows what money can buy – a
top surgeon, designer clothes, a professional
make-up artist and a brilliant photographer.
Jenner’s transition and transformation was
accomplished in what appeared to be a
remarkably short time. Meanwhile in the UK
trans men and women wait years and years
to complete their own journeys to their true
identities.
Nevertheless, the Jenner bandwagon
is indicative of the high profile that
transgenderism, or rather transsexualism, is
getting in the media. When even the Radio
Times gives a two-page spread to trans women
in the media and The Observer does a column
called ‘Transgender on TV’, perhaps the
message that trans people are an important
part of society is getting through.
In the UK, the focus is on Kellie Maloney
and Rebecca Root, stand-up comedian and
speech trainer. The BBC are launching their
new sitcom starring Root, Boy Meets Girl,
shortly. I am looking forward to the show
immensely, but I would be even happier if a
trans woman was booked to play my detective
character, Jasmine Frame, on the small or
large screen (I think Root is, unfortunately, a
little too old for the part).
What disappoints me, and I know I’ve said
28
2013 hint of ginger
2011 dark
this before, is that all the high-profile coverage
is for people who have made a decision to live
permanently in the single gender that they
identify with. I see little mention of people
like me who are gender-fluid, i.e. spend time
as male and female. Where are the serious
interviews, the photo shoots, the starring
roles, the celebration of people who are like
the majority of Beaumont Society members?
There’s more than Grayson Perry out there.
NEVERTHELESS, THE JENNER
BANDWAGON IS INDICATIVE
OF THE HIGH PROFILE THAT
TRANSGENDERISM, OR
RATHER TRANSSEXUALISM,
IS GETTING IN THE MEDIA.
WIG OR NOT?
Changing the topic slightly, with the summer
here I am sure I am not the only one who has
found the wearing of a wig uncomfortable to
say the least. For many part-time trans people,
the wearing of a wig makes an important
contribution to their female persona. For the
last fifteen years that has been as true for me as
for anyone. The wig not only confers a feminine
look but it also acts as a mask, concealing
the identity of the wearer. There have been
occasions when someone I know in my male
life has not recognised me wearing Penny’s wig.
In that respect a wig is useful in maintaining the
secrecy that many of us feel we need in order to
protect ourselves and our families.
Over the years I’ve worn a variety of different
wigs. The photos show the more recent ones
–the earlier ones are possibly too awful now to
look back on. I have felt that the wig has aided
2008 blonde and curly
my appearance as Penny, but every summer
I have sweated and itched beneath the false
hair. Now that my dual gender roles are known
to most of the people I have dealings with, I
have been considering whether I am being
true to myself by wearing a wig. Do I need to
maintain the fiction that I am two people? For
some months I have been growing my hair – a
longer process than in my youth and not helped
by a slightly receding fringe – and asking
my hairdresser to style it in a more feminine
manner. Finally in the last few weeks I have
dared (yes, that is the right word) to venture out
wigless. The response in rural Herefordshire
has been good. People who know me have
been complimentary. I have only had a few
more turned heads than previously, but I have
not been anywhere particularly busy yet. I do
think that my look is less feminine and older,
and perhaps I am taken for an ageing trans
woman, but it is my true identity. Comments
are welcome.
Finally, after a wait of two years, my second
Jasmine Frame novel has now been published
as an e-book and paperback. Bodies By Design
takes up Jasmine’s story three months after
the events of Painted Ladies and thrusts her
into another thrilling search for a killer with
a trans link. The Bodies By Design paperback
can be purchased for £9.99 (including post
and packing) by emailing paintedladiesnovel@
btinternet.com with payment via PayPal, or by
cheque payable to P R Ellis sent to Woodside
House, Bridge Street, Leominster HR6 8DZ.
A novella-length e-book is also available
called Discovering Jasmine which tells a story
from Jasmine’s teenage life.
Go to my blog www.ellifont.wordpress.com
for more news.
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41
the new woman
The
NEW
WOMAN
by Charity Norman
30
the new woman
When I was a teenager, I read
Conundrum by Jan Morris and was
intrigued by her story. She and my father
had been in the army together during
WWII, long before her transition, so I
grew up with the knowledge that gender
is not a binary thing. Looking back
though, I had no idea of what that could
really mean for so many people.
T
he years passed. I married a New Zealander, and we’ve lived
in both countries. In rural New Zealand – especially before
the Internet made the world seem smaller – I found that
the gender lines were clearly drawn,
and those who stepped over them
had a very difficult road to walk. My
husband has a relative who began
a male-to-female transition while
in her twenties. She’d moved away
but visited for family events, and I
remember the baffled reactions of
some of the extended family to the
confident, attractive woman who
burst into their midst. They did
their best, but at first they couldn’t
use the right pronoun; or they used
both, one after the other, with an
embarrassed smile. One or two
people even doggedly called her by
her male name.
A few years ago I began to do
some voluntary telephone
listening work on a helpline
rather like the Samaritans.
Several of our callers were in
various stages of transition
and struggling with their
gender identity. I can’t go into
the details because I’m bound
by confidentiality, but I can
say that I spoke to callers who’d
suffered extreme violence and rejection who were in crisis – but
often still managed to show optimism, courage and humour.
I found them inspiring. Some had been the victims of sexual
violence. Some didn’t have the money or the family support that
they needed, and called quite often. I talked to at least one trans
woman who was seriously considering ending her own life. I was
struck by just how misunderstood this was, and how common.
AFTER ALL SHE HAD BEEN THROUGH,
AND EVEN IN DEATH, PEOPLE WERE
TRYING TO TAKE HER IDENTITY
FROM HER. I KNEW FROM BITTER
EXPERIENCE HOW TERRIBLY THEY
MUST BE GRIEVING, BUT STILL, I WAS
APPALLED.
I was ashamed to realise that there were vast gaps in my own
knowledge, so I began to research and to try to understand better.
It was at this time that I became friends with another telephone
listener, a woman in her sixties who’d been through transition
about a decade before. She’s a professional woman, well respected
in her field, and a person of great insight and compassion. She was
patient enough to explain to me why she had, in the end, no choice
but to become the person she’d always felt she was. She’d been
involved in helping other transgender
people and gave me new insights into
the immense challenges – and triumphs
– of their lives. One day, when I’d just
finished a book, she asked me what I was
going to write next.
‘I’m not quite sure,’ I said, ‘but I think it
might be a story about gender identity.’
She lit up, and we talked about a
book that explored the emotional side
of things – whose main character was
not a caricature but a real person with
a complex inner life. That evening,
she emailed me a press report about a
helicopter pilot who had been killed. The
pilot was reported as male, with a male
name. My own brother was killed when
the same type of helicopter crashed in
very similar circumstances, so I read the
report with real horror, wondering how
my friend had known about my brother
– I didn’t remember telling her. It wasn’t
until I’d read her covering email that it
dawned on me that she’d sent the report
for a very different reason: the pilot was
a trans woman, yet at the request of her
family her male name and identity were
being reported in the press. After all she
had been through, and even in death, people were trying to take her
identity from her. I knew from bitter experience how terribly they
must be grieving, but still, I was appalled.
From then on, this was the only book I wanted to write.
The New Woman by Charity Norman is published by Allen and
Unwin on 6 August and is available from all good bookshops.
31
managing conflict
Managing
conflict in
today’s
society
By Julie Elvery
THE GAP REPORT 2014 STATES THAT MANY
TRANSGENDER PEOPLE EXPERIENCE SOCIAL EXCLUSION
AND MARGINALISATION BECAUSE OF THE WAY IN
WHICH THEY EXPRESS THEIR GENDER IDENTITY.
32
managing conflict
An important concern for transgender people
is safety issues relating to being potential
victims of violence upon their disclosure of
their transgender status or that information
being disclosed by others.
M
y name is Julie Elvery. My background was initially
the prison service where I worked in a purpose-built
self-harm unit for category A females sentenced to
life imprisonment. Although a very pressurised and
volatile environment, I was able to achieve very positive outcomes
through managing conflict effectively, and from this assist offenders
to achieve positive futures. I left the prison service when work life
balance was no longer available, and I qualified as a dog handler with
the British Institute of Professional Dog Trainers and went on to do
Doors Supervisory.
I decided to specialise in conflict management and physical
intervention when I read that violence in the workplace is on the
increase. It is estimated that on an annual basis within the NHS alone,
there are some 95,000 violent incidents.
The Gap report 2014 states that many Transgender people
experience social exclusion and marginalisation because of the way
in which they express their gender identity. A Transgender person
does not identify with the gender assigned at birth. This can lead to
discrimination, bullying, rejection and tragically, sometimes conflict
and violence.
An important concern for Transgender people is safety issues
relating to being potential victims of violence upon their disclosure of
their Transgender status or that information being disclosed by others.
The top four concerns of Transgendered people of all ages
was: family rejection and violation of the right to education and
employment; violence, criminalisation and transphobia; lack of
recognition of gender identity, and discrimination in health systems.
I currently run Conflict Resolution Workshops, the aims of which
include identifying different forms of communication; patterns
of behaviour encountered during different interactions; causes of
conflict; the use of ‘reasonable force’ as it applies to conflict resolution;
warning and danger signs; communication breakdown; personal safety
awareness; and use of breakaway techniques. The course will enable
clients to gain awareness of dealing with violence, aggression, bullying
and intimidating behaviour.
Having a sound knowledge of effective communication techniques
and the ability to recognise and respond effectively will provide
individuals with the skills to reduce them. I also offer telephone
coaching (completely confidential) to those who are unable to attend a
workshop. This can be pre-arranged for your convenience, and can be
to any mobile or landline. n
The course objective is to empower people, build selfconfidence and maintain a safe environment in both personal
and professional life. I am able to apply a 25% discount to all
Beaumont Society members and their friends and families.
Workshops can be booked for up to 12 people; I can travel to you
or provide a venue. Contact is available via the office on 0208
663 2995, or outside of office hours on mobile 07857 347 127.
Alternatively you can email elverytraining@yahoo.com. Please
don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.
33
mishaps and misdemeanours
MISHAPS AND
MISDEMEANOURS
by Ruth Hunt
All of us are guilty at some point in our lives of taking ourselves
much too seriously. Nothing wrong with that, of course, and when
you’re a cross-dresser like me there is a temptation to regard your
situation with the utmost seriousness.
I
guess it’s a case of: if I don’t take myself
seriously then how can I expect other
people to do the same? But sometimes
you have to look in the mirror and say to
yourself, ‘You’ve just got to laugh, haven’t you?’
I suppose I should qualify this. I’m
not talking about those people who have
struggled with their gender identity all of
their lives and are going through the trauma
of transitioning. Rather, I am focusing on
those of us, like me, who like to dress up and
try to look as female as possible but without
wanting to change gender.
For instance, I always find myself smiling
when I’m at events and I watch girls ordering
pints of beer. Now I know real girls often
drink pints but, when I dress, I like to be
as feminine as possible, and I guess the
stereotypical tipple would be a glass of Pinot
Grigio. However, sometimes only a pint
of Stella will do, no matter how delicately
painted your nails are!
One area that can
be fraught with
embarrassment is
using public toilets.
Do you use the
ladies or the gents?
34
So what other mishaps and
misdemeanours can befall us when we want
to look like the woman we feel we ought to
be – and sometimes fail miserably? And
when all you can really do is laugh at
the ridiculousness of it all.
One area that can be fraught
with embarrassment is using
public toilets. Do you use
the ladies or the gents? What
happens when you simply
forget what mode you’re in
and you walk up to the urinal,
nod at the bloke next to you
and realise you’re wearing your best
summer dress?
And then there is the time when you
pluck up the courage to use the ladies
and have to unravel that halter neck
1950s prom dress with ruffle petticoat
without sounding from outside the
cubicle like you’re wrestling a pantomime
dame. Here, I admit I speak from
experience…
Another of the more embarrassing
moments I suffered was at a dinner dance.
I was dressed in all my finery, but the effect
was immediately lost when I absentmindedly scratched my nose and left my
false fingernail lodged in my nostril.
There is no way back from there, girls,
trust me!
As you will all be fully aware,
everything about dressing can be a
mishaps and misdemeanours
real minefield, particularly if you’re out and
about. I’m sure many of you can identify with
something I witnessed in my local pub when
I was standing at the bar with a number of
male friends (I was not dressed).
A girl walked between us and went off
to the toilet. On the way back, she walked
straight into one of the low beams that adorn
this particular hostelry, hit her head badly,
gave a very gruff ‘Shit!’ and knocked her wig
askew. To my friends’ credit, they waited until
she had left the pub before saying, ‘That was
a bloke!’
One of the
major things crossdressers like myself
have to accept is that
you are more likely
to be ‘read’ than not.
My own reaction was slightly different:
What a lovely top she’s wearing, I thought,
wonder where she got it?
For me, putting on a wig is the crowning
moment of my transformation into Ruth, but,
as we all know, wigs bring their own issues, as
my friend in the pub found out to her cost.
My worst experience, I suppose, was the
first time I made a public appearance at the
Beaumont’s Harrogate event some years ago.
Not being used to it, I got fully dressed for
breakfast. Unfortunately, it was unseasonably
warm and I plumped for the full English.
Within seconds, sweat was pouring down
my face, streaking my carefully applied makeup and making my head itch uncontrollably.
And, of course, as soon as you start the
scratch, the more the wig comes loose and
lopsided. My wife was diplomatic enough not
to laugh at my discomfort, but I’m sure she
was thinking, ‘Well, you wanted to be a girl...’
Of course, having a supportive partner is
a blessing, but it can also sometimes be
a curse. One vivid memory was when I
was with a former girlfriend in the local
Superdrug, and she plucked a bright red
lipstick from the shelves and said, ‘This is
just your colour!’
Unfortunately, this was right in front
of a gaggle of teenage girls who looked
at me in surprise, giggled madly and left me
with a face redder than the lipstick being
proffered.
Many of us who have dressed most of our
lives are used to keeping it a secret, but the
longer it goes on, and the more comfortable
you are in your feminine self, the greater
the chance of giving yourself away.
I have lost count of the number of times
I have glibly spoken to my mates about
asymmetrical skirts, confirmed myself an
authority on female dress sizes and used
very un-blokey phrases like ‘Mary Jane
shoes’, ‘capri pants’ and ‘halter necks’.
The funny looks I then receive mean
that my cover is probably blown, but
everyone’s too polite to say anything…
One of the major things cross-dressers
like myself have to accept is that you are
more likely to be ‘read’ than not. I’m six foot
two and love to wear heels so, no matter
how good the make-up and wig, I’ll always
resemble the poster from that old ‘B’ movie,
Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.
So, most of the time, you just have to grin
and give yourself a mental shrug of your
not-so-ladylike shoulders when someone
spots you in the street, points and says loudly,
‘That’s a man!’
I guess what I’m trying to say is that, by all
means, take your desire to dress as a woman
seriously – mainly, because it is an integral
and important part of our lives.
But do remember to keep things in
perspective, because there’s plenty of room
for a good laugh about something which, let’s
face it, is pretty damn funny sometimes!
Ruth Hunt
One vivid memory
was when I was with
a former girlfriend in
the local Superdrug,
and she plucked a
bright red lipstick
from the shelves
and said, ‘This is just
your colour!’
35
.Dressed to Kill
Dressed
to Kill
by Kitty Potter
She just goes, a little mad sometimes.
We all go a little mad sometimes.
Norman Bates - Psycho
Norman Bates was an American serial killer and
keeper of The Bates Motel in California. Bates suffered
from Dissociative Identity Disorder and psychotic
behavior, believing himself to be his controlling
Mother. At the same time he suffered from visual and
auditory hallucinations, in which his mother apparently
talked him into committing acts of violence in order to
appease her.
When the Mother personality took over, Bates
would fly into murderous rages targeting women who
aroused him, usually whilst dressed in her clothing. He
is known to have eventually killed his mother and kept
her mummified corpse in the basement of his house
for many years.
Norman is arrested and incarcerated in a mental
institution, where he would remain for 22 years. A
psychiatrist declares Norman insane, and apparently
completely dominated by the Mother personality of his
psyche.
Norman Bates dressed as Mother
- Psycho
36
Glenda - Seed of Chucky
Glenda is the offspring
of killer dolls Chucky and
Tiffany and the apparent
alter ego of Glen.
However, it is shown that
she is a soul, meaning
that she and her brother
share the same body.
Glenda is everything
her brother is not. While
he is praised for being a
sweet angel, Glenda is
shown to scare people,
even Chucky is terrified of her. Glenda has been known to be
violent, start fights, steal, say horrible profanities, and has a look
of wanting to kill.
Glenda will remain dormant in her brother but surfaces
whenever Glen is over stressed or frightened.
When Tiffany apparently kills a woman, Chucky tries to comfort
her, only to find it is Glen in a dress. However, Glenda has now
taken over and refers to herself as a “real lady killer”, Tiffany tired
of her daughter’s rants, slaps her, asking for Glen to come back.
Divine - Pink Flamingos
Underground criminal Divine
lives under the pseudonym
“Babs Johnson”. After learning
that Divine has been named
“the filthiest person alive” by
a tabloid paper, jealous rivals
Connie and Raymond Marble
set out to destroy her career but
come undone in the process.
A birthday party begins as
the Marbles arrive to spy on it.
Divine receives an assortment
of gifts, including lice shampoo,
a pig’s head, and an axe. The
Marbles, disgusted by the
reveling, call the police, but this
proves unsuccessful as Divine and the other party-goers kill the
cops. Divine hacks up their bodies with the axe and the party-goers
eat them.
Divine takes the Marbles hostage at gunpoint and calls the local
tabloid media to witness the Marbles’ trial and execution. Divine
sentences the bound and gagged Marbles to death for “first-degree
stupidity” and “assholism” and they move straight to the execution.
Divine ties the Marbles to a tree, coating them in tar and feathers.
Divine then shoots them in the head and the media leave shortly
afterward, satisfied with their scoop of a “live homicide”
.Dressed to Kill
Buffalo Bill
Angela Baker - Sleepaway Camp
Peter Baker was the
survivor of a horrible boating
accident which claimed the
lives of his father and twin
sibling Angela - the accident
left Peter with a head wound
and he was put in the care
of a domineering, mentallyunstable aunt who always
wanted a girl and already
had a boy, so Peter became
his dead twin Angela.
Raised as a girl, deeply
confused about her
sexuality, Angela was
eventually sent away to Camp Arawak at age 14 in an attempt
to help her integrate into youth culture. The act proved fatal, as
young Angela suffered a complete psychological breakdown and
began murdering her fellow campers and counselors when she is
ridiculed and bullied due to her introverted nature and shyness and
because she doesn’t take a shower, go swimming or even change
her clothes when around the other girls. The film is known for it’s
twist ending, it is one of the most shocking among horror films!
Frank n Furter - Rocky Horror
Dr. Frank N. Furter is
the main antagonist of
The Rocky Horror Show.
He is a promiscuous,
bisexual, cross-dressing
scientist from the planet
Transsexual, in the galaxy
of Transylvania.
Frank is holding an
annual, Transylvanian
science convention at
his castle to showcase
the birth of his newest
experiment, “Rocky
Horror” - a well-built,
attractive man created
solely for sexual purposes.
Frank’s celebration is
interrupted when Eddie, an
ex-delivery boy and former
lover, emerges from the
freezer where he was stored after half of his brain was used to make
Rocky. He describes his past life and explains his current situation to
the Transylvanians, stealing Frank’s spotlight. Jealous and enraged,
Frank chases Eddie back into the freezer and murders him with a pick
axe. He then tries to brighten the shocked conventionists’ moods by
unveiling a bridal suite built for him and Rocky. A wedding procession
ushers the two inside, where they sleep together. Later at the wedding
dinner Frank makes a subtle mention about how they are currently
eating his remains and pulls back a table cloth to reveal Eddie’s body.
- Silence of the Lambs
Jame Gumb, better
known as Buffalo Bill, is
the main antagonist in
the book and movie The
Silence of the Lambs.
Gumb kidnaps
overweight women so
he can starve them. He
starves them so that
their skin is much looser
so after he murders
them he can more easily
remove their skin to
fashion a “woman suit”
for himself. He considers
himself transsexual, but
is too disturbed to qualify for sex reassignment surgery.
Gumb thinks of his victims as things rather than people,
often referring to his victims as “it”
He is fascinated by the moths’ metamorphosis, a process
he wants to undergo by becoming a woman. In one of
the film’s more infamous scenes, he dances around while
wearing a silk cape which he flourishes like butterfly wings.
Tales from the Crypt - Came the Dawn
Roger (Perry King) is travelling to attempt to make up with
his wife when he comes across a woman stranded in the
rain on the side of the road. He stops for Norma (Brooke
Shields) and offers to take her to his cabin since the last bus
already left and she cannot afford a hotel room.
At the cabin, she puts on a sexy black dress and Roger
gives her a beautiful necklace to wear. At dinner she tells him
she caught her husband “shacking up with some bimbo” and
he allows her to stay in the cabin as long as she would like.
This obviously leads to sex, but then he hears something
down stairs and thinking it’s his wife who is very jealous and
possessive, he sneaks Norma out of the cabin but Norma
sneaks back in the house to grab her bag full of stolen
goodies from the cabin. Big mistake!
Paying twisted homage to Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho,
Roger reveals himself in a dress and make up screaming
about Roger’s cheating. Wielding a battle-axe he states,
“Roger is mine,” right before he brutally murders Norma.
37
interview with drew
INtERvIEW WItH
DREW-ASHLYN
CUNNINGHAM
Drew was first introDuceD to us all with a television programme a few years ago on channel 4 calleD My Transsexual
suMMer. she came across as sincere, well motivateD anD a very positive person. she has full-time employment as a make-up
artist, but still finDs time to source articles for the beaumont magazine. to finD out more about Drew’s personality anD
get to know her better, i DeciDeD to have a chat anD put the iDea of an interview to her. she agreeD, anD i hope you enjoy
reaDing her answers to some light-hearteD anD serious questions.
Have you ever received help or
support from a Trans group?
No! I just got on with my life. However, I
did mix with different people in gay bars.
If you had ‘come out’ earlier in your
life, what difference do you think it
would have made?
I would have taken the opportunity to
transition earlier and therefore blended
better as a girl, which would have made
me more at ease with myself.
Katie Piper – I find her an inspiration and
a lovely person; Pete Bennett – the guy
from Big Brother with Tourette’s who has
an amazing sense of humour; Amanda
Lepore – she was the first Trans person
I could relate too, and she made me
realise that I also was Trans; Lady Gaga
– she could provide the music.
What makes you feel content?
Being with people and having a few
drinks with my friends.
How do you see the future for Trans
people?
There is still a long way to go before we
will be in the same position as LGBT.
What was your most painful
experience?
The two years I suffered deep
depression before I came out as Trans.
Favourite food
Chicken korma.
What has been your greatest lesson
in life?
Starring in My Transsexual Summer,
as it gave me an insight into other
Trans people.
Favourite drink
Cup of tea.
Favourite singer
Avril Lavigne.
Favourite film
Closer starring Julia Roberts.
Favourite TV programme
Total Divas (the lives of female wrestlers).
Favourite book
Travelled Road by Lita Leff (biography
of a female wrestler).
If a film was to be made of your life
story, which film star would you like to
play the role of you?
Margot Robbie.
IIf you were to have a party, which
celebrities would you invite and why?
38
Give me three significant dates in
your life?
December 2006 – I came out to my
parents. December 2011 – my make-up
artist career started. March 2012 – My
Transsexual Tour, which gave me the
wonderful experience of meeting so
many varied people.
What is your religion?
I am an atheist! However, I just want to
say, ‘Live your life the best way you can
and not from a book.’
What is your most treasured
possession?
Well, that is easy: it is my make-up, as
it transforms me into the person I am
inside. n
Gender Identity Research and Education Society
Melverly, The Warren, Ashstead, Surrey KT21 2SP
Telephone: 01372 801 554
Information for trans-people, their families and
professionals who care for them.
www.gires.org.uk
London girls can meet at the :-
The London Friend
86, Caledonia Road, Kings Cross, London N1 9DN
on the Second Sunday of the Month, at 7.00pm for company and chat
in a friendly atmosphere for a small charge of £2.00.
Refreshments available.
This venue is secured for the LGBT community
Phone Helen Elliot on 020 8371 5663
A Beaumont Society supported meeting
Can you help with funds for the
LondonFriend!!!
Northern Concord
The Northern Concord is
a social group for
Cross-dressers, transvestites,
transexuals and their wives or
partners. The group is based in Manchester,
England and has worked for the TG community
successfully for over 23 years
www.northernconcord.org.uk
E-mail: jennyb@northernconcord.org.uk
P.O. Box 258, Manchester M60 1LN
Check with Diane Ball
dianetvball@aol.com
For meeting dates and venue for ladies in
LINCOLNSHIRE
and local counties
The South's leading
transgender party night!
On the 3rd Thursday of each month from 7:30 11:30 pm at the Empire Hall, Salisbury Road,
Totton, Southampton, SO40 3PY.
❖ Hosted by THE FRIENDS OF TOTTON DISCO.
❖ Entry only £6.
❖ Fully licensed bar serving wines, spirits,
real-ales, ciders, lagers and soft drinks.
❖ Hot food, tea and coffee available.
❖ Fully sprung dance-floor.
❖ Quiet background music until 9:00 pm
offering an opportunity for chat.
❖ Free car parking in the nearby library
car-park.
❖ Raffle (not April 2014).
Information from Eleanor Roberts:
eleanor52roberts@yahoo.co.uk or phone
07786 226635
Clinics providing
gender identity
services in England
The London Mental
Health NHS Trust
Gender Identity Clinic
179-183 Fulham Place Road
London W6 8QZ
Tel: 020 8483 2801
Sheffield Health and Social
Care NHS Foundation Trust
Sexual and Relationship
Sexual Medicine and
Transgender Services
Portbrook Clinic
Michael Carlisle Centre
Nether Edge Hospital
75 Osborne Road
Sheffield S11 9BF
Tel: 0114 271 6671
Leeds Gender Identity Clinic
Management Suite
1st Floor
Newsam Centre
Seacroft Hospital
York Road
Leeds LS14 6WB
Tel: 0113 305 6346
Sunderland Gender
Dysphoria Service
Upper Poplars
Cherry Knowle Hospital
Ryhope, Sunderland
SR2 0NB
Tel: 0191 569 9401
Nottingham Gender Clinic
Mandala Centre
Gregory Boulevard
Nottinham
NG7 6LB
Tel: 0115 960 2820
Devon Partnership NHS Trust
The Laurels Gender Identity and
Sexual Medicine Service
The Laurels
11-15 Dix’s Field
Exeter EX1 1QA
Tel: 01392 677077
managing depression
HOW CAN WE
HELP OURSELVES
MANAGE
DEPRESSION?
I had depression from a young age. It used to creep up on me from
nowhere, and it would descend quickly before I could do anything.
by Vixx Thompson
T
he gender dysphoria I suffered was
only a part of it, and even today I am
mindful of it returning periodically.
Depression is not nice for anyone who
suffers from this illness. The feelings of
despair, anxiety and loneliness can
be overwhelming at times. You
don’t want to do anything, and
everything feels ‘off ’. It can
be worse at times for people
with gender dysphoria,
and many people can have
suicidal thoughts. Varying
reports show that between
30% and 42% of Trans
or gender-variant people
have thought about suicide
or attempted it, which is an
extremely high rate compared
to society as a whole.
If you feel this way, please
remember that you are NOT
alone. There are many people just
like you in similar positions, and we
are all of value, whether we know it or
not. Should you or someone you know
be struggling, please look at getting
some help to work things through, even
if it’s a call to the Samaritans (go to
www.samaritans.org to find your local
number) or looking online for a help and
support group that meets your requirements.
There are various ways to help ease
depression:
Medication; talking therapy with a
counsellor; talking to understanding
friends/family (building a support
network); eating a balanced diet (there
40
IF YOU FEEL THIS WAY,
PLEASE REMEMBER
THAT YOU ARE NOT
ALONE. THERE ARE
MANY PEOPLE JUST
LIKE YOU IN SIMILAR
POSITIONS, AND WE
ARE ALL OF VALUE,
WHETHER WE KNOW IT
OR NOT.
are some foods that can actually help with
easing depression); and exercise.
Medication can be great for short-to-mid
term use, but without looking at underlying
causes and issues and learning to manage
‘triggers’ for depression, then when the
medication is lowered or stopped, the
depressive state may return. This is where
talking can be useful. I actually found it better
to write things down and keep a journal
because I wasn’t very good at expressing
myself verbally at the time.
Some people prefer to talk to a counsellor
because they aren’t known to the person, and
they can discuss things that they may not feel
comfortable talking to friends about, whilst
others prefer to chat with friends purely
because there are fewer things that need
explaining to them. Whatever works best for
the individual is preferable.
I have previously written articles online on
managing food and mood and how this can
help in a practical way.
managing depression
Whilst eating well is not the be all and
end all, it can be beneficial as part of a
holistic well-being routine. You can find
the first of three articles on food and mood
here: https://kineticlifestylecom.wordpress.
com/2012/01/09/how-can-we-use-food-toimprove-our-mood-part-1/
Personally, exercise worked best for me. I
was dragged out of the house as a teenager
and made to do something active – anything
as long as I was outside – and it was here
where I realised that being active helped to
ease the immense sense of sadness that I can
be prone to.
Exercise releases endorphins (a kind of
natural happy pill) when people do something
active, and I do believe that there is an activity
for everyone, but we might have to try a few
to see which ones we might enjoy most. I
found running was most helpful for me, as
I could run with a couple of friends for a bit
of social time, or I could run alone and think
through the day’s events, or appreciate the
scenery around me. Either way, I’d stay out
there until I felt my mind ease.
Sometimes it was a struggle to get out the
door, but I soon realised that I didn’t feel
quite as good if I didn’t exercise – and I didn’t
want to feel down if exercise helped. My rule
of thumb is that even if I really don’t want to
do anything, I’ll try for 10 minutes. If I still
don’t want to do it after 10 minutes, then I can
go home, and at least I will have attempted
something. There are only a couple of
occasions that I have stopped after 10 minutes
– I usually end up doing more!
As I have said, exercise releases these feelgood endorphins to help improve mood, but
it can also:
Improve body image through toning and
weight loss; increase energy levels throughout
the day as you get fitter; benefit the
cardiovascular system by strengthening the
heart and lungs; and provide a social aspect if
required.
Exercise should be enjoyable. Every year I
see people join a gym who should be enjoying
the outdoors, and people outdoors who
would prefer the regimen of a gym-training
programme.
If you try something and don’t enjoy it, then
there are plenty of other fun activities to try:
Running; walking/rambling; swimming;
cycling; orienteering; tennis; badminton;
squash; climbing; netball; basketball; yoga/
pilates; and tai chi.
And so on...
If you have not exercised for a while, then
it may well be wise to have a quick chat with
your GP to make sure that you are OK to
undertake some gentle exercise to start with,
and then see what you fancy trying!
Find a friend if you would like some
company for a first outing, or join in with one
of the many Trans exercise groups that are
around if there is one close to you. Trans-Fit
is an exclusive group on Facebook for all
Trans and gender-variant people who wish to
get fitter and healthier, as well as meet likeminded people of all exercise abilities. Please
feel free to join us there!
There is also a website where I am currently
compiling as many Trans-exclusive and
Trans-friendly sports and activity groups as
possible, so that hopefully there is something
for everyone. Please take a look here:
www.trans-fit.co.uk, and if you know of any
groups that should be there, then please let me
know so that we can tell everyone about them!
My business website can be found at
www.kinetic-lifestyle.com if you wish to know
more about the work that I do.
WOULD IT BE HELPFUL
TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO
SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS
YOUR SITUATION?
YOU ARE NOT ALONE...
A RECENTLY-FORMED GROUP OFFERING:
Confidential support to women whose partners are transgender and may express
themselves through cross dressing.
Volunteers who are all women who have been through the experience of living with a
transgender person. They will provide emotional and practical support, information and
understanding of others in a similar situation.
We can relate to your feelings and reassure you that they are “normal”.
BRIEF DETAILS OF THE SERVICES WE INTEND TO PROVIDE
Confidential Online Forum
Confidential Telephone Support Line
Answers to frequently asked questions
Letters describing their personal experiences from wives & partners of transgender people.
CONTACT DETAILS: orchidbp@virginmedia.com
WEBSITE ADDRESS: beaumontsociety.org.uk/partners/partners.html
OPERATIONAL FROM: 1st April 2013
Mermaids is the only charity in the UK providing support for children
and teenagers with gender identity issues and their families. The
charity provides peer support forums for young people aged 13-19
and a separate forum for parents. Support is also available via a
telephone helpline. Mermaids can help with a range of issues, such
as coming out at school, family issues and seeking treatment for
gender dysphoria.
To find out more, contact Mermaids via phone or email:
Telephone: 0208 1234 819
Email: info@mermaidsuk.org.uk
Website: www.mermaidsuk.org.uk
41
trans lakes
Trans Lakes
Walking Group
Ambleside Weekends, March 2014 and 2015
42
trans lakes
S
ome time ago (BQ84) I wrote an
article about our trans girls’ walking
group in the Lake District. Well, here
we are, two years on, and we’re still
at it. Not just that, but we’ve also had two
weekends in Ambleside with friends coming
from across the UK. The prime mover in
these things is Joan, an energetic lady, keen
to show the world that trans people are really
just ordinary folk with a slightly unusual
take on life – a bit like keen golfers or bird
watchers but more interesting. Joan organises
monthly meetings in the Furness area where
trans girls meet for a drink and social chat in
various pubs and bars. See the Trans Lakes
website for more details – and do come along
if you’re in the area. We don’t bite, honest.
Our Ambleside weekend is a three-day
combination of walks and socialising. Up
to 12 of us stay at the Queens Hotel in
Ambleside so, unlike most trans weekends,
we don’t fill the place, and we mix with the
other guests for breakfast and in the evening.
During the day, we go out and about, mostly
walking, but the less active find more restful
ways of spending their time. This year we had
a mixed group of nine trans girls, the wife
of one TG, and Lee, the male leader of the
Friends and Supporters of the Furness LGBT
Community. Another TG (in male mode)
joined us for our first outing.
We all met on a Friday morning at
Elterwater, a small village in Great Langdale,
a few miles west of Ambleside, with a
convenient car park. We had two walks
planned, a gentle stroll through the woods
and fields, and a more energetic walk
involving a climb up Lingmoor Fell. Four
of us chose the gentle walk while the others
headed for the hills. As it happened, the four
on the gentle walk were two of us in girl
mode and two in boy mode. Someone asked
later had we been taken for two couples.
Probably, I said, but there had been quite
a bit of wife swapping on the way. Walking
with a man, as someone once said, is the best
disguise a trans girl can have.
We had arranged to meet the other
group for lunch at a pub, but there was no
sign of them when we arrived. We ordered
lunch and waited, but they were a long time
coming, and we were beginning to worry
that something serious might have happened
when they turned up, hungry and thirsty but
cheerful. It turned out that the Lingmoor
summit was farther along the ridge than Pipit
(the leader) had remembered so it all took
longer than planned.
On Friday evening we went out to an
excellent restaurant, Zeffirelli’s in Ambleside.
We were made very welcome, tables
rearranged to seat us all together, and no
adverse reaction from the other diners,
despite our occasional raucous laughter.
Zeff ’s is interesting as it’s associated with a
group of small cinemas, has a jazz bar, and
serves exclusively vegetarian food, though
few of the customers appear to notice the
fact. Well worth a visit (no, I’m not on
commission).
It seems we three
locals, Joan, Pipit
and I, have acquired
something of a
reputation as the
‘Staveley Belles’.
After the meal, most of the party went back
to the hotel for a drink and quiet chat, but two
girls went out on the town and performed to
great applause at a local karaoke bar.
Saturday was wet and windy – well, what
do you expect in the Lake District in March?
Joan had decided that walking three days in
succession wouldn’t do for her knees so she
and Lee took a sail down Windermere on
the steamers, followed by a steam train ride.
(Surveys show that 76% of trans girls are also
steam train enthusiasts. Actually, I made that
up but I’m sure there’s a correlation. I wonder
why…) The year before, one of our number
did the same trip with an extension to a local
motor museum. There are, of course, lots of
other interesting places to visit if boats, trains
and cars aren’t your thing. There’s plenty for a
girl to do if she decides not to go walking in
the rain.
The rest of us set off to walk round
Loughrigg Fell, just west of the town. We
made it, but at some cost to our expensive
hairstyles and with damp encroaching
through our waterproofs. Fortunately, the
rain did ease off after a couple of hours,
but we were still dripping as we entered the
Badger Bar, hoping for some lunch. The
pub was very full, but the staff opened the
dining room specially for us and made us
very welcome. It seems we three locals, Joan,
Pipit and I, have acquired something of a
reputation as the ‘Staveley Belles’. We found
that a bit puzzling as none of us has a Staveley
connection (either Staveley, there being two
of them in the Lake District) but we take the
appellation as a compliment.
The food and drink at the Badger was
excellent as ever, and after a prolonged lunch,
the stroll back to Ambleside beside the river
in pale sunshine was a delight.
On Saturday evening, we had dinner at the
Queens Hotel, then mingled with the other
guests. As it was the weekend before Easter,
the hotel was very full, and we generated
quite a bit of interest among the other
diners and residents. All the usual questions
came up – ‘Does your wife know? Does it
bother her? What about the children?’ and
43
trans lakes
so on. All very friendly, and helped along
by the presence of the wife of one trans
girl, and one of our group in male mode.
Further interest was aroused by another of
our group, Stephanie, who was gradually
constructing a stuffed cobra in crochet.
When asked what she was doing it for, she
just smiled enigmatically and took another
stitch. Last year she was making a blanket –
or maybe it was a throw, or a wall hanging –
anyway, it was flat and rectangular. This year,
a stuffed cobra in pink and black bands. I
look forward to next year with breathless
anticipation.
On Sunday, your scribe had to leave
immediately after breakfast for a prior
engagement elsewhere, but seven of the
group went by car over Kirkstone Pass
and had a pleasant short walk around
Brotherswater, a small lake just up the valley
from Ullswater, followed by lunch at the
Kirkstone Pass Inn.
Altogether, it was an excellent weekend,
contributing to our mission to bring trans
people more into contact with the rest of the
populace, reduce misunderstanding, and
promote tolerance and general goodwill.
This was our second Ambleside weekend,
and it will probably happen again in March
next year. If anyone out there is interested,
either in the Ambleside weekend or in
joining one of our regular monthly walks,
do please get in touch via the Trans Lakes
website at https://sites.google.com/site/
translakesnights/ or dedicated email address:
trans.lakes.nights@googlemail.com.
Rachel
44
The rest of us set off to walk round
Loughrigg Fell, just west of the town. We
made it, but at some cost to our expensive
hair styles and with damp encroaching
through our waterproofs.
coffee break
Beaumont Wordsearch
Crossword
1
2
P A R A N O
3
4
3
6
7
5
7
8
8
9
9
11
10
11
13
12
12
14
15
16
ACROSS
Across
amount by which something falls short (10)
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9 First name of actress star of ‘what women want’ (5)
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things or
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11. A rusted pipe might be this (5)
5.12The
ninth month
of (6)
the Muslim year (7)
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or engaged
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6.13
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dish
of
Mexican
origin
(7)
14. Prod gently (past tense) (6)
A milk song
substitute
for adding to coffee (7)
7.15UB40
(3,2,2,7)
16 To carry the weight of (4)
8.17.
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pace
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killing
of ethnic
9. First name of actress, star of What Women
Want (5)
10. The soft, succulent part of fruit,
synonymous with Britpop (4)
11. A rusted pipe might be this (5)
12. Participating or engaged (6)
13. Chocolate bar, before nautical or dynamic (4)
14. Prod gently (past tense) (6)
15. A milk substitute for adding to coffee (7)
16. To carry the weight of (4)
17. Deliberate killing of ethnic group (8)
10.5.
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cause
or distress
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bagcontinual
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and closed by a flap (7)
12 Identical(4)
6. An appliance in which food and drink
is kept (6)
7. A single instruction that expands
automatically (5)
8. Intelligently analytical and clear-thinking (8)
9. Passed gently through the air (6)
10. To cause continual trouble or distress to (6)
11. A narrow opening resulting from a
split or crack (7)
12. Identical (4)
13. Remains in or around a place secretly (6)
D I E D
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17
TACO
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SWASHBUCKLER
Cartoon
D G S Q M G T R
T L U E F S T A I N E
T Y R G F W I U L K S
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Word Puzzle
Go to www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/competition for all the answers
45
T*SMU - Cardiff Trans* Support Group
Meets on the 4th Thursday of the Month from 6pm to 9.30pm
at 1 Cathedral Road, CARDIFF CF11 9SD
Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/groups/tsmucardiff/
Are you looking for help and support for
Gender Diversity / Gender Identity Issues?
Please contact us as your local ggroup
in Cardiff and the Surrounding Areas
T*SMU is a mutual Support and Social group for all Gender Diverse /
Trans*gender people, their family, friend, supporters and allies
Call Us Today! for Information and or a chat
Tel: 07500 741955 or 07889 620686
PHOENIX
THE TRANS SUPPORT GROUP FOR KENT
A friendly place to meet for chat / coffee in a secure venue on
the first Sunday of each month from 1600 - 1900
Cost £5 per person. Tea/Coffee 50p per cup
BI-MONTHLY MEETINGS
(Next Meeting January 2015)
Venue Address: Lower Rd, Northfleet, Kent DA11 9BL.
Contact Becky Essex 07595 159108 beckytvessex@yahho.co.uk
CORTEX
HERTFORDSHIRE
Letchworth, Stevenage and Watford - L. G. B & T Group
The L.G.B & T Group is open to transgender people and anyone
who wish to come.
Meeting places based in Hertfordshire
Social activities across UK
Tea, coffee and buffet
Changing area and parking available
www.tgcortex.com
or contact
Email: cortexherts@yahoo.co.uk
Brenda on 01462 742 660 or email: brenda.reeve711@btinternet.com
For Stevenage Abi on 07960 153 758
THE BEAUMONT SOCIETY
Established 1966
www.beaumontsociety.org.uk
The purpose of the BEAUMONT SOCIETY are to form an association of those who help CROSS
DRESS or who are TRANSSEXUAL and, through this association, to provide a means of help
and communication between members, in order to reduce the emotional stress, eliminate the
sense of guilt and so aid better understanding by them and of their families and friends.
HELP LINES
BS INFORMATION LINE 01582 412220
The Beaumont Trust
BM Charity,
London, WC1N 3XX
Trustline:
07000 287 878
(7pm to 11pm Tues & Thurs)
www.gender.org.uk/bt/
Press for Change
Scotland
Trans-people and the law
www.pfc.org.uk
Edinburgh Trans Women
info@edinburghtranswomen.org.uk
Meet on first Saturday monthly
7.30pm to 09.30pm
9 Howe Street EH3 6TE
Email or telephone 0131-523-1100
Tel: 08448 708 165
10.00am to 5.00pm
Enquiries: office@pfc.org.uk
Transsexuals, Transgendered & Partners
GENDYS NETWORK
www.gender.org.uk/gendys
EUROPE
Association Beaumont Continental
Centre MBE 130 39,
Boulevard da la Liberte 35000
RENNES
www.abcfr.org
BM Gendys
London WC1N 3XX
Northern Ireland
Belfast Butterfly Club
028 9267 3720
(Weds. 8pm to 10pm)
www.belfastbutterflyclub.co.uk
E-mail: trans@belfastbutterflyclub.co.uk
Grampian Gender Group
Meet 3rd Saturday Monthly
Details Mobile No 07050-562175
Monday & Wedneday 7pm to 9pm
The Sandy Initiative
Gender Identity Clinic
Glasgow
Tel No 0141 211 8130
(For Scottish Transsexuals no GP
Referral Necessary)
You can contact the Facilitator by email
sandyfordtranswomen@yahoo.co.uk
Lgbt Centre Helpline 0300-123-2523
Tuesdays & Wednesdays from 12 to 9pm
Beaumont Partners
All enquiries can be directed to orchidbp@virginmedia.com. We also operate a postal service for members who don’t have
access to the internet, or just prefer post! If you would like to use this service, you can write to us at the below address.
27 Old Gloucester Street London WC1N 3XX. Please address your letter to “Beaumont Partners”.
The views expressed in the Beaumont Magazine are those of the members and do not necessarily reflect the views of the editor or the
executive committee of the Beaumont Society. All items appearing in the journal are, except where noted to the contrary, subject to the
copyright of the Beaumont Society and shall not be reproduced without the written permission of the Beaumont Society. The editor
reserves the right to alter, shorten or refuse any item submitted for publication. The Beaumont Society may not be held responsible for
the truth or accuracy of any claims made by any advertiser in this publication. All members are advised to check the price of goods
and services offered by advertisers. The Beaumont Magazine is also available for electronic members in PDF format.
47
Weekend 03-06 March 2016
HARROGATE
D
2016 WEEKEN
Price Special Offer book before 1st December 2015 only
£142.00 for Friday and Saturday nights
After 1 December 2015 the price becomes £150.00 for Friday
and Saturday but there is a £5.00 discount for Beaumont
Society members.
Extra night(s) (Thursday and Sunday) £54.00 per person per
night and includes Dinner, Bed and Breakfast
t/PTJOHMFTVQQMFNFOU
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For more information contact Kay West.
Email: kay.west.online@gmail.com / Tel: 01582 416213
This will be our 24th year at Rotherham. This years event is promising to be as good as ever.
Friday Night's theme The Charlston Years'.. (NOT COMPULSORY)
Gala Night's theme Red, White & Green', (NOT COMPULSORY)
The cost for the full weekend is £172 per person. Extra Day/s THURSDAY 19th £68 per person SUNDAY to Monday 23rd.
£68 per person. Single room supplement £15.
Dress code applies. Smart and Elegant, as befitting the occasion. No fetish clothing, PVC, Rubber, Children/Baby Clothes.
For further details and booking forms Janett invites you to contact her with SAE to :Janett Scott
72, Putteridge Road, Stopsley, Luton, LU2 8HG.
E: JScott5426@aol.com
T: 01582 732936
Monthly instalments available at no extra cost.
Standing orders are welcome.
Janett Scott’s
Weekend break for Ladies
Holiday Inn
West Bawtry Road,
Rotherham, S60 4NA
T: 0870 400 7235
E: reservations@rotherham.kewgreen.co.uk
The 24th Ladies Rotherham Weekend
Friday 20th to Sunday 22nd November 2015