University Gives Wednesday The Red Card

Transcription

University Gives Wednesday The Red Card
Matt Le Tissier - Saints legend SUSU Elections 2005 - Guide
gives exclusive interview to this year’s candidates
wessex
March 3rd 2005 ISSUE 796
Features
SCENE
Peepshow’s
David Mitchell
on comedy, TV
and getting a
2:2
Politics
Kilroy-Silk:
The future’s
bright,
but not
orange
Music
Exclusive
interview
with The
Futureheads
Film
Ocean’s
Twelve, Meet
the Fockers
and more...
University Gives Wednesday The Red Card
Antonia White
The
University
of
Southampton has failed to keep
its promise to students that
Wednesday afternoons would be
free of lectures. Well into the second semester, problems are still
being encountered with the
new
time-tabling
system.
The problems produced as a
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Student Media Buyers
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result of this new system have
meant that many students have
been left with inappropriate lecture and seminar rooms, inadequate time between teaching
periods and Wednesday afternoons scheduled for study.
Despite the intervention of
the Students’ Union, various
schools within the University are
continuing to allot Wednesday
afternoons as time available in
which to teach. Although problems are slowly being resolved,
schools such as Physics, Law and
Social Sciences are still scheduling lectures at this time, even
though the Students’ Union
has lobbied for this period to
be designated for sports and
other extra-curricular activities.
So why are some disci-
plines continuing to clash with
the agreement made between
the Union and the University?
According Pat Usher, DeputyDirector of Student Services,
there are several reasons. As a
result of a time-tabling error, one
core module within the Physics
department has been placed on
a Wednesday afternoon.
continued on page 2...
www.wessexscene.co.uk
News
Page 2
continued from front
page...
Although the department
do not currently intend on rescheduling this unit, they are
questioning their students as
to whether this is a problematic studying period.
Unlike in previous years,
the Faculty of Law has also
scheduled teaching for this
time, due to issues with staff
availability. Although irreproachable, the inconvenience
of such events is clear and the
schools within the University
are aware of this problem.
The response of the department of Social Sciences,
however, highlights a separate difficulty from those
experienced by the Physics
and Law departments. When
asked why they had scheduled teaching between the
hours of 12.50-1.35pm, the
school replied that they were
unaware of this being inclusive of students’ free time.
This ‘free time’ is used by a
substantial number of sporting
clubs and societies. There are
approximately 4,000 members of the sports clubs and
3,000 students are involved
with separate societies. These
figures show how nearly
half of all of Southampton
University students participate in student activities, yet
several schools claim to be
unaware of the importance of
free Wednesday afternoons.
Consequently, the question
of when Wednesday recreational time begins is now significant. On this matter, Andy
Wilson said, “the last lecture
should end at twelve, with
the afternoon starting at half
twelve.” This break therefore
allows adequate free time
for those students following
extra-curricular deadlines.
The allocated time, however, has yet to be arranged,
but negotiations will hopefully soon be underway.
For the time being, 1pm
seems to be the average finish, although Pat Usher hopes
to change the current system
in the long term and “rationalise the time of the teaching
slots,” making life simpler for
students. Unfortunately, such
simplifications will not take
place until the 2006/7 academic year, as the time-tabling
information is already being
programmed for 2005/6.
Students who fall victim to the Wednesday afternoon saga are now forced to
choose between their studies and their extra-curricular
activities, a choice they should
never have to make.
Want to have your say?
Email editor@soton.ac.uk
International Students take
British places at University
James Hayward
Prospective British students
hoping to gain a place at university are facing rapidly growing
competition from their European
neighbours. Recently published
figures in The Times suggest
that university applications from
the ten new member states are
up by 79% on last year to 3427
applications.
EU students are attracted by
the high standards of excellence and facilities offered by
British universities coupled with
the fact that, unlike non-EU
students in the UK, their tuition
fees are exactly the same as
those paid by home students.
There are now concerns, that
international students are beginning to stand a better chance of
gaining a place at a British university than UK hopefuls. This
comes after Oxford University
announced its intention to cut
International Students may stand a better chance of a place at a
British university
Oxford University cut undergraduate places for British students
EU Applications increase by 79% in the last year
Higher Education Funding Council want 27% more International
Students by 2009
undergraduate places for British
students and give more places
to foreign students as part of a
‘vigorous programme of international recruitment’. This measure
is an attempt to increase revenue for the University, which
,like many British universities, is
faced with the growing problem
of underfunding.
This solution is likely to
become common throughout all
British universities. According to
the BBC’s online news service
‘the Higher Education Funding
Council for England found they
wanted 26.7% more [students]
from outside the UK over the
next four years’. Despite this,
applications from non EU students dropped this year by
5.3% due to ‘excessive charges
for visa extensions imposed by
the government in 2003’.
A spokeswoman from the
Vice-Chancellor’s and Secretary
& Registrar’s Offices has told
the Wessex Scene that ‘the
University of Southampton’s
projected student populations
are consistent with this general trend’. She added, however,
that ‘the increasing fraction of
international students will not
impact on the circumstances of
UK or EU students’.
Whether or not overseas students should be regarded as
competition for UK undergraduates, then, remains debatable.
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Residents v Students
Robbie Breen
The relations between residents and students co-habiting
in the same city is one that has
always been put under enormous strain, as both struggle
to accommodate the other successfully. While much emphasis
is placed upon the invasion of
students upon residents, there is
another side to the story.
It should be recognised
that this is not just a problem
affecting Southampton, but is
a nationwide issue. While residents in Fallowfield, a district of
Manchester, view the academic
contingent as “dreadful”, they
fail to appreciate the vast majority of well-behaved students,
be they undergraduate, post-
graduate or mature students.
Students are now feeling the
need to step out and speak
up for themselves. Examples of
these demonstrations have been
noted in Belfast in particular.
With students being dubbed
as “hard hitting”, students at
Queen’s University took to the
streets to demonstrate. However,
the protests soon escalated into
full-scale riots.
It appears a clear balance
needs to be established between
both residents and students,
with mutual respect becoming
of utmost importance. While
residents may view students as
invading their homes, it must
not be overlooked that students
generate £300 million to local
economies per year.
Hospital cuts may hurt students
Gareth Hynes
Southampton
General
Hospital has cut 100 jobs ina
measure by the trust designed
to bring its massive budget deficit under control.
This deficit currently stands
at £13 million and is part of a
larger NHS shortfall of nearly
£500 million for which new doctor contracts, waiting list targets
and A&E treatment are being
blamed.
Some strategic health authorities are suffering with debts of
up to £70 million.
The Southampton University
Hospitals NHS Trust has said
450 posts will need to go. 150
of these will come from cancelling contracts with private nursing agencies who supply nurses
to plug any shortages within the
NHS. 100 staff will be moved
elsewhere, leaving 200 facing
uncertainty.
Of these, 100 jobs have now
been cut. The trust has shut
down two nurse-led units and
cut 120 beds to bring its deficit
under control. This follows on
from the trust’s bid for foundation status being thwarted over
the summer of last year due to
a deficit of £24 million.
First Year Student
Numbers Rise
James Corfield
Over one million people
started undergraduate courses
in 2003/4, which was a first
according to data released by
the Higher Education Statistics
Agency last month. In effect,
the number of students starting undergraduate courses in
2003/4 rose by more than
30,000 on last year’s numbers.
According to Barclay’s graduate survey, the average student
debt is now £12,100, a 10%
increase since last year but a
500% rise since 1995. If trends
continue, Barclays predicts that
in five years time the average
student debt will amount to a
staggering £33,700.
Students spend £8 billion
in an academic year: £2.4billion goes on rent, £330 million on course-related materials, £670 million on groceries
At the time the trust pledged
to resolve their “fiscal embarrassment” and reapply for foundation status while the latest
moves looks set to try to achieve
that.
Mark Hackett, chief executive
of the trust, tried to allay fears
by saying the “ward reorganisation will not adversely affect
patient care”.
However,
Southampton’s
Unison branch secretary, David
Prout, said, “at the time we were
first notified around two months
ago, as always, managers said it
would not affect patient care.
But of course it begs the ques-
Universities Sell Education
to the Global Market
Antonia White
and £1.49billion goes on drinking, eating out and going out.
Are students living it up now,
only to pay the price later?
Helen Symons, Vice-President
of the NUS, refutes this claim
saying, ‘students are not in
debt because they are wasting money on a social life;
they are in debt because they
don’t receive enough money
to cover their costs - and
by that I mean basic costs.’
Banks were criticised recently
for their lending policies for students. Keith Tondeur, national
director of Credit Action, believes
students are ‘bombarded with
offers of overdrafts, credit and
store cards. It’s all too easy and
all too tempting to say yes.’
As a result, most students
can currently expect to spend
the next 10 years of their life or
longer paying off their debts.
tion what are these people
doing if they are not assisting
with patient care?”
He added, “you can’t lose
these posts and it not make an
impact.” Mr Hackett has, however, countered this by stating:
“What we have been doing is
working very closely with social
services and the primary care
trust to look at how we can
change the way that services
work. It’s quite clear that here
we have about 100 patients
who could be seen in other settings, closer to where they live
and in more appropriate environments.”
At a recent conference organised by the British Council, the
Education Secretary, Charles
Clarke, urged British higher education institutions to enter the
global market.
According to the Council, the
funding provided by overseas
students is worth £10.4 billion
to the economy and in order to
continue to prosper, Mr. Clarke
is encouraging universities and
colleges to accept an increasing number of international students.
However, Mr. Clarke also
noted that accepting more students from abroad is not enough
to keep the UK in the global
market. He urged that, in order
to encourage more international
students to study in Britain, colleges and universities “must sell
education to the world” and
take advantage of the global
interest in learning the English
language.
He warned that “going
global is not an option or just a
marketing device – it is the only
way forward.”
Having over 2000 full-time
international students from over
100 countries, Southampton is
well-equipped with provisions
for international students. As
well as on-hand assistance from
specific staff within the Students’
Union Advice and Information
Centre, overseas students are
also offered free English language lessons to improve their
understanding.
In addition to this, however,
Southampton is one of the few
universities in England which
is a member of the Worldwide
University Network (WUN).
Founded in 2000, the WUN is a
group of 16 research-led institutions from around the world,
which formed to share their academic knowledge and encour-
News in
Brief
Rebecca Twomey
Fire in Halls
Students at the University of
Central Lancashire started this
month with a big bang, having
lost all of their belongings in a
fire that swept through a hall
of residence. More than 60 fire
fighters battled with the flames
at the hall in Preston. The
fire, thought to be the result of
a firework, swept through the
roof timbers in the early hours
of the morning. The fire is
being treated as suspicious. No
one was injured, but now 80
students are living in temporary
accommodation provided.
Cash for Brightest
Students
For
A-Level
students
who achieve three A grades
Manchester University is offering a £1,000 bursary per year.
Those from low-income families
will receive up to £5,000. A
substantial number of bursaries
will be in excess of the £2,700
maximum means-tested government grant. The bursaries
are set to be in addition to the
student loan. So for those students whose joint family income
is more than £22,000 and who
do not achieve the highest grade
in all their subjects, the financial
future looks grim.
Spend Nothing
Race
Cambridge students are competing to travel as far as they
can without spending any cash
whatsoever.
The thirty-nine
competitors have just 36 hours
to reach the furthest destination
possible for free. The annual
event is held to raise money
for charity. Last year a student
managed to reach Tokyo.
Lucky Kit Kats
Nestle
have
witnessed
increased sales of the UK’s most
popular chocolate bar in Japan.
Kit Kat resemles the Japanese
expression ‘kitto katsu’ which is
used by students to wish each
other luck before exams. It
roughly translates as ‘I hope
you will win.’ Nestle have now
intorduced a new range of the
chocolate including green tea
flavour, passion fruit and lemon
cheesecake.
News
Page 4
Anyone for a Pint of
Chemistry?
Beth Barker
Long hours in the science lab
need no longer ruin your social
life and leave you with a severe
Vitamin E deficiency. Now you
can do your research whilst
sitting in the pub!
New technology developed
right here at the University of
Southampton allows researchers
to monitor an experiment via a
“smart phone”, which receives
data sent from computers
using special software enabling
unrelated computer systems to
talk to one another securely in
real time.
The computers are linked to
sensors in the lab, which monitor
factors including temperature,
light levels, motion in the room,
power status and door opening/
closing. The information can also
be sent via the web, enabling
experiments to be monitored
around the world.
This has already been tried
and tested by one PhD student,
Jamie Robinson, who was in
Paris speaking at a conference
about the technology. During
a live web demo he noticed
that the lab temperature was
too high.
Concerned about
his experiment, he phoned the
University, and sure enough, the
air conditioning was broken.
IBM, who developed the
computer software in conjunction
with the University, said that in
the future it foresees completely
automated labs. “In the next
phase it will be possible to click
a button on a web page or on a
smart phone to turn something
Expect to see the chemists at the bar
on or off in the lab…with no
graduate students in sight,” says
IBM’s Dr Andy Stanford-Clark.
This begs the question, is
this actually a good thing? It
seems strange that a university
is working towards reducing the
number of jobs that its students
are doing their degree to get!
I spoke to several chemistry
students, including one who
said, “scientific advancements
are great, but not if it’s going to
put me out of work!” Another
was concerned about relying
on computers to such an extent
– “If we come to rely on this,
and it crashes or develops a
bug, months of work could be
ruined”.
Like all new technologies,
this one could take some getting used to... in the meantime,
mine’s a pint.
Science Week comes to Southampton
Chris Lane
Fancy constructing a dinosaur out of cardboard? How
does concocting stringy gunge
from household chemicals
grab you? These are just two
of the many fun, and occasionally messy, options available to visitors to Southampton
University between the 12th
and 20th March. This is part
of National Science Week, an
annual project coordinated by
the British Association for the
Advancement of Science. SOC
has been involved in the initiative, which aims to demystify
science and encourage participation, since the department’s
inception in 1995.
Previous highlights of the
Family Fun day have included
the chance to meet one of Dr.
Who’s Daleks, and an opportunity to get up close and personal
with termites and ants. At the
SOC, visitors were taken on
tours of the aquarium, made
fossils and dinosaurs, played
with rock that bends, and discovered exactly how sea squirts
got their name.
This year’s exhibits will
include a chance to see bioluminescence - produced by microscopic glow-in-the-dark algae
- and lessons on how to identify marine animals by sound.
Martin Marsters, organiser of
SOC’s contribution to the proceedings, said he hoped that
the event would “encourage a
natural curiosity about a subject
that is still relatively unknown”,
pointing out that “12 men have
walked on the moon, but only 2
have been to the bottom of the
deep ocean.”
A series of evening talks will
be held at both the Boldrewood
and SOC campuses throughout
the week, and will include the
science behind the Indian Ocean
tsunami, and news from a drilling cruise in the Arctic. More
than 1500 people attended the
Boldrewood event last year, and
more than 600 took part in
the Ocean and Earth day. For
more information, see: www.
soc.soton.ac.uk.
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Art Available for All
Looking at art and culture in and around Southampton University
A Ripper of a Show Pop Music used for Art Exhibition
Bored With Art?
Walter Sickert ‘Drawing is the
Thing’
Southampton City Art Gallery
Until 20th March
Free
Craig Williams
Harriet Wailling
A couple of years ago
the crime novelist Patricia
Cornwell wrote a book claiming that she (and a forensic
team) had successfully linked
the artist Walter Sickert to
the Camden Town murders of
1888. Sickert, she claimed,
was Jack the Ripper.
The book was controversial.
Indeed, after its publication the
claims were largely discredited,
and yet, having caused such
a furore, the rumours
still
abound. So, it was with this in
mind that I went to the City Art
Gallery’s new exhibition Walter
Sickert: Drawing’s the Thing, to
play detective, ready to spot a
murderer behind the sketches.
Yet when you enter this
exhibition, you are faced, not
with eerie scrawls of a murderer,
but the delicate whisps of a
pencil, fleetingly made and
capturing, in the flickering of
the stage lights, an Edwardian
audience at the theatre; men in
top hats, ladies in blouses and
finery applauding with their eyes
Walter Sickert
raised to the stage.
These moments, caught on
palm-sized paper, are next to
other, more carefully produced
drawings on a grid and lead to
the paintings for which Sickert
is best known. Indeed, there is a
whole display of the preparatory
sketches and paintings for
Sickert’s most accomplished
painting Ennui or ‘boredom’.
So lest boredom prevail for
you this week, pop down to the
gallery and discover a world set
aside, not of a murderer, but of
a man who was able to capture,
in such an exceptional way, the
gesture of a hand, or a smile on
the lips.
Art can be a bit of a taboo
subject amongst the student
collective. Either it is seen as a
fun creative outlet, or a pretentious, high-class experience. I’m
willing to bet that more of you
have been to a gig recently than
to an art gallery.
It is because of this attitude
that students at Wolverhampton
University are staging an exhibition that ‘will feature music,
art and photographs from the
1960s, along with interviewee
recordings.’
They are also seeking out a
little known local band from the
era called ‘The Extreme’, and this
shows that art does not have to
be cold and disengaging, (which
is how some may view ‘Modern
Art’) but it can reflect upon
another decade, attempting to
make it more accessible, and
perhaps more entertaining.
This is not to say that art
is inaccessible to you now,
far from it. The John Hansard
Gallery on the main University
campus could be just the start
of your renewed interest in the
artistic values.
A Frozen Fantasy
Sleeping Beauty on ice
The Imperial Ice Stars
The Mayflower
Until 20th February
Jo Smith
The Mayflower offered a
week of sensational performance of ice dance in February,
converting the stage into an
arena for world-class ice-skating. The Moscow based theatre
company included Southampton
in part of their UK tour, illustrating the magical tale of Sleeping
Beauty with stunning creativity.
The Imperial Ice Stars brought
23 Olympic, World and European
Championship Medallists to
dance Tchaikovsky’s romance,
first brought to the stage as a
ballet in 1890 at the Marinski
Theatre,
St.
Petersburg.
Direction on the stage for
the production of The Sleeping
Beauty was magnificent, using
the stars’ remarkable repertoire
of stunts in an imaginative, and
often humorous way. Stilts,
swings, trapezes and flying fairies were among the tricks displayed between seamless scene
switching, and the fantastic
speed of the dancers on the ice
stole nothing from their flawless
synchronisation.
Olympic Medallist Mandy
Woetzel made a delightful
Sleeping Beauty, and the effortless motion and control of Olga
Sharoutenko as the Lilac Fairy
was outstanding. Even the chilling performance of Black Fairy
Carabosse played by Maria
Borovikova exuded grace with
every turn.
The production was as expressive as it was colourful, lighting
the ice stage with beautiful costumes and special effects. Fire,
smoke, sound effects and truly
convincing performances lent an
atmosphere of exhilaration, and
made an enchanting night out.
If art continues to thrive,
students from Southampton
University in 2045 could be
seeking out musicians to form
an exhibit based upon our music
tastes today. Let’s just hope
Craig David doesn’t get invited!
The Extreme
Comment and Letters
Page 6
What Price for Liberty?
The Government’s latest anti-terrorist legislation will increase even further the powers of politicians to decide who gets locked up and for how long. It’s time for us to think
about whether we value our freedom or our safety more, says Gareth Hynes.
The government has recently
put forward plans proposing
what are being described as
draconian measures to fight the
threat of terror in the United
Kingdom. These plans have
arisen to replace current measures, introduced in the months
following 9/11, which the Law
Lords have ruled are disproportionate and discriminatory.
The new legislation would
give the Home Secretary the
option of curtailing an individual’s freedoms if they were suspected of being involved in terrorist activities. It has provoked
fierce attack from all sides of the
political arena.
The argument centres over
the values of civil liberties versus
the need for civil protection. It
is argued by the government
on the one side that exceptional threats call for exceptional
measures.
They say that the only way
to protect our society in these
risky times is to provide police
and the security services with
the tools they need to combat
the threat. This threat is not only
aimed at individual lives but at
our society and nation’s values
as a whole.
Tony Blair himself has argued
in support of the plans that his
principal duty is to protect the
Editor in Chief
Laura Fewell
security of the nation.
Opponents, however, argue
that fundamental civil liberties
are being destroyed. They say
that the measures put in the
hands of the executive are those
which should be reserved for
the judiciary.
Effectively, the same politicians who make the rules enforce
the rules. Proponents argue that
there would be various safeguards to prevent the abuse
of this power, such as each
suspect’s case being examined
by a judge within seven days of
the Home Secretary putting that
suspect under house arrest.
However, opponents claim
Letters
Editor
Henry Palmer
News Editor
Rebecca Twomey
Sports Editor
David Firth
Features Editor
Martin Jenner
Societies Editor
Laurence Olding
Sir,
For a long time I’ve suspected
that those of us Southampton
University students who are
based at the New College
campus were looked down
upon by other members of the
student body. Now it seems that
even the people who run the
University are prejudiced against
us! As you know, the current
site of New College is being
shut down and all the activites
there are being transferred to
the Highfield Campus.
While this is good news for
the situation sets too dangerous
a precedent and can we trust
a government to always act in
our best interests and never to
abuse its power? If the answer, as history would
appear to suggest, is no, then
separation of power between
the executive and the judiciary
must remain.
It is difficult to know how
one would feel should a terrorist
attack occur in the UK. Perhaps
we would look back and see
the folly of not now accepting measures to protect us that
would be used sparingly and
under the watchful eye of the
judiciary.
However, with that attack
imminent but not yet here it
seems justified currently to think
the priority should be given
to the set of core values that
defines our society and that differentiates ourselves from the
terrorists.
After all, it is only then that
will we have something worth
protecting. These new measures
will, even if only slightly, erode
those fundamental values.
future New College students - it
will give them the opportunity
to mingle with more of our
fellow students and will certainly
make life easier for residents in
Halls - the way in which New
College is being shut down
seems designed to make life as
difficult as possible for current
New College students.
For instance, the contents of
New College’s Library is being
transferred to Highfield’s Hartley
Library. No problem, you’d think,
except that it’s impossible to find
the books that have allegedly
been taken to the Hartley, and
no one at either campus seems
to have a clue about how to
locate what is sometimes crucial
reading and research material!
As if this wasn’t enough,
there are also plenty of minor,
irritating other things. The
closure, without warning, of the
campus shop and swimming pool
have disadvantaged hundreds of
students. Even our course tutors
are confused, as they haven’t
been given any information from
the management about what is
happening down here.
Nobody in charge seems
to care that we’re being put
at a serious disadvantage
academically and also in terms
of facilities, but like I say, that
seems to be indicative of the
University’s general attitude to
New College and it’s students.
Perhaps eventually we will
receive the respect we deserve
from the university but for the
time being are we supposed to
just accept that we’re not even
going to get the basic things
that we need to complete our
degrees?
What do you think?
Email your comments,
letters and articles to
editor@wessexscene.
co.uk
Bob Hoskins
Sir,
What is going on with lectures
on Wednesday afternoons? Last
term was an absolute nightmare
- I play intra-mural football on
a Wednesday afternoon and
loads of my friends represent
the University and intra-mural
teams but we had lectures
assigned at that time.
We were promised that this
term it would all be sorted out
and that there’d be no more
lectures when we had to play our
sports. But I still have to attend
some of my core modules at this
time. It’s a complete cock-up, no
mistake.
Ollie Davis
Do you have something
to say? Write to us:
editor@wessexscene.co.uk
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Elections
Page 8
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Elections
Page 10
Name: Tom Kenward
Position: VP Student Activities
Clubs & Societies Membership
SU Rugby Football Club 2002-2005, (Social Secretary 2004-05)
Southampton University Ski and Snowboard race team 2002-03
Environmental Science Committee 2003-04
Southampton University Cricket Club 2004-05
Inter-Mural Sports Captain 2003-2004
Why am I good for the job?
My role as a committee member, for both club and society, has improved
my organisational skills and given me a valuable insight into the running
of the AU and the demands of the student population. If elected, I intend
to support the rescheduling of lectures from a Wednesday afternoon
to ensure that everybody has an equal opportunity to participate in
university social life. Moreover, I would ensure that all activities and
events would operate in the best interests of University students and
that all AU clubs and societies will benefit from my experience. I am
certain that my enthusiasm and determination make me the ideal
candidate for the position and will help me carry the reputation of the
University to new levels.
Competitions
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Cheese crowned ‘King of Toasties’
Is this the best job in the world?
Ladies and gentlemen, ‘The
King’ is back on campus and this
time he’s even cheesier...
Recently,
National
Toastie Day saw those generous
folks from Kingsmill hit campus
to hand Southampton University
students FREE cheese toasties!
As part of the fun, ‘The
King’ set out to discover exactly
which Toastie fillings get your
juices flowing. Despite the weird
and wonderful concoctions
he found (from mars bars
and hundreds & thousands to
spaghetti hoops and maple
syrup), good ol’ cheese came
out on top!
So, for the chance to
win a toasted sandwich maker
and take your taste-buds on a
Kingsmill Toastie tour, answer the
following question then email
your answer, along with your
name, address and postcode, to
kingsmillsoton@yahoo.co.uk
employees of the Promoter, the
Wessex Scene and their agencies,
and their immediate families. Only
one entry per person. No purchase
necessary.
Q: Which toastie filling did
“The King’ find to be the most
popular among students?
6. For full terms and conditions please
send an email stating your university
to Lindsay.Sharman@campusgroup.
co.uk
Jimmy Bedford lives and
works in his home town
Lynchburg,Tennessee (population 361) and is the envy of all
his colleagues, neighbours and
fellow Americans. Why? Because
Jimmy has one of the best jobs
going - he is the Master Distiller
and Chief Taster of Jack Daniel’s
Tennessee Whiskey!
Every single drop of Jack
Daniel’s sold in the world is made
in the tiny town of Lynchburg,
which ironically remains a dry
county to this day - whilst every
drop is made there you can’t
purchase any! Most of the locals
live and work alongside Jimmy
at the distillery, and it’s not
uncommon to find generations
of distillery workers who learnt
their trade from their fathers!
There have only been six
Master Distillers since the distillery was registered in 1866 starting with Jack Daniel himself.
Mr Jack used the motto “Every
day we make it, we make it the
very best we can”, and it is up
to Jimmy Bedford to ensure that
the highest standards set by Mr
Jack are still adhered to today.
We met up with Jimmy to
find out about him, his lifestyle
and favourite bars in the UK!
Terms & Conditions:
1. The competition is only open to
UK residents/undergraduates of
the University Of Southampton,
aged 18 years or over, excluding
2. There is one first prize of £25 of
HMV vouchers. In the event that
such a prize is not available for
whatever reason, an alternative prize
of equivalent value and quality will
be substituted. No cash alternative.
3. The winner will be the person
who has answered the question
correctly and (in the event of there
being two or more correct entries)
is the first correct entry selected at
random after the closing date for
entries.
4. The closing date for receipt of
entries is Monday 21st March.
5. Winners will be notified by email
by Wednesday 23rd March.
Promoter: Allied Bakeries, Fairfield
Avenue, Staines, Middlesex TW18
4BA.
Full name: James H Bedford
(Jimmy)
Age: 64
Do you have any children?
One daughter, 34 years old, she
is a teacher
How long have you been
Master Distiller for Jack
Daniel’s? 16 years
What was your first job?
Supervision Trainee
How did you come to be
Master Distiller? I worked with
the previous master distiller for
20 years
Can you describe your typical
working day? I check to make
sure all is running well at the
distillery and also spend a lot of
time traveling round the world
visiting all the Jack Daniel’s
markets
What is the best thing about
being the Jack Daniel’s Master
Distiller? Making a product
that is enjoyed around the
world
And the worst? It’s all good!
With the exception of Jack
Daniel’s, what’s your favourite
drink? A beer or glass of wine
How do people react when
they find out what you do for
a living? They are fascinated
by the fact that I work for Jack
Daniel’s
Where were the last three
places you went on holiday?
New York, Virginia Beach and
Washington DC
You recently visited London
– what did you think of it? I
really enjoy coming to the UK
and think I could live here
You must have had a drink or
two - Can you recommend any
good bars? Ronnie Scotts and
Aura in Mayfair, London.
Now you have met the man
who makes it, for your chance
to taste it and win a JD goody
bag, simply answer the following
question:
Q: In which state can you find
Lynchburg? Please email your
answers
to
comms@soton.
ac.uk.
All entries must be 18 or over.
Winners will be notified by
email. Winner required to verify
identity and age before receiving
prize.
“Your
friends
at
Jack
Daniel’s remind you to drink
responsibly”
WSX
Page 12
Editorial
I hope you’ve had a good
few weeks and the exams are
nothing more than a distant
and unpleasant memory.
In the meantime, of course,
we’ve enjoyed (or been
subjected to, in the case of
all you singletons out there)
Valentines Day and the allimportant Pancake Day. In the
spirit of these holidays, then,
comes Craig Williams with
a few slightly more... exotic
excuses for a party.
Speaking of which, as the
presence of Lennie Henry to
my right shows, Red Nose Day
is almost upon us again. Never
fear, however - Kate Mallinder
is here with a handful of
suggestions on how to most
effectively make a fool of
yourself for charity.
On top of all the other
wonderful goodies for your
delectation, we’ve also got
something of an exclusive - an
interview with David Mitchell,
half of the genius-team behind
Channel Four’s ‘Peep Show’.
Skip over the page and see
how Darren Richman coped
with coming face-to-face with
his idol.
As you can see, we’ve had
the decorators in and the newlook Wessex Scene is ready for
action. I hope you all approve if you don’t, of course, feel free
to write in and tell us about it!
So, until next issue, have
yourselves a good one...
Martin Jenner
Features Editor
Martin_jenner@yahoo.co.uk
Follow Your Nose
What is there to say? It’s Lennie, and he’s got a funny face and one of those red things you see from time to time. You know what to do.
Kate Mallinder
Red Nose Day is drawing
close again and getting involved
couldn’t be simpler.
If Lenny Henry or news readers in drag aren’t enough to
persuade you to part with your
cash on the eleventh of March,
here are a few ideas of how you
can help other people lose some
pounds.
1. Buy a red nose. They are
progressively getting wackier as
the years go on and this year is
no exception. They come complete with hair dye, face paints
and a selection of stickers. They
can be bought at Sainsburys and
Oxfam for just £1.
2. Watch the scheduled show
on the BBC and donate by telephone.
thing, why not splash out and
go for Spaghetti Hoops instead.
3. Buy the Little Britain special
edition DVD.
“The limited edition DVD
is available from Monday 14
February in HMV stores, on
their website, www.hmv.co.uk,
as well as from the Red Nose
Day online shop and BBC shops
priced £4.99, with at least £3.40
from each copy sold going
directly to Comic Relief.”
You can’t say fairer than
that! It’s certainly not a case of
“Computer says ‘No’…”
5. Twenty four hour sponsored famine. Combine a detox
with raising money for a very
worthy cause. All in all a totally
guilt free day!
4. Sit in a bath full of beans.
Super saver beans are less then
10p per tin, so there really is no
excuse! Or if beans aren’t your
6. Cross dressing party. Guys,
what greater excuse will there be
to dress up in fishnets and wander the streets of Southampton
in Rocky Horror Style. Although,
no heavy petting please!
7. Sponsored sports. If you’re
part of a team, or just happen to
know a whole group of people
who exercise, convince them to
take part in a sponsored match
or demonstration. Both you
and they get to have fun doing
something you enjoy, and make
some money for charity too!
Note: Can be combined with
point 6 for hilarious results.
However you want to donate
or raise funds they will be greatly
received. So whether you want
to sit in a bath of beans or dress
up like a girl, getting involved
can be really fun and all money
raised goes to great causes.
Red Nose Day helps people
of all generations in this country
as well as Africa by allowing
many charities to benefit from
your kindness.
If you would like information or more ideas for events
the website is www.rednoseday.
com.
Enjoy!
www.wessexscene.co.uk
NME RIP?
Craig Williams
This is a bit reminiscent of
‘Two Minutes Hate’, so excuse
me while I rant and rave. It’s
been a long time since I bought
a copy of NME, and I’m sure as
hell not going to buck that trend
any time soon.
Why? Well, far from being
music journalism, it’s attempting
to appeal to a far more
mainstream audience, and by
mainstream, I mean anyone who
can read. Put simply, it’s lost the
plot entirely.
Firstly, the declaration of Pete
Doherty as the 2004 Winner of
the Cool List (as if the concept
of a Cool List isn’t Smash Hits
enough) is ludicrous, as yes, I
can see that he is an addict and
needs help, but NME (and most
King David:
Darren Richman
Meeting a hero is never an
easy experience. Will they like
me? Will I inadvertently offend
them? Will I come across too
eager? Will I not come across
eager enough? Naturally, for
someone like Michael Jackson,
a lifetime of adoration ensures
he knows how to deal with such
an obsessive.
David Mitchell, however, is
probably not quite as accustomed to such behaviour. A
deranged, plastic, child-loving
freak he may not be. A genius,
however, he is.
My initials fears are immediately dispelled within seconds of
his arrival in the North London
pub at which we have agreed
to meet. “I’m sorry I’m late” he
begins, with an absolute sincerity that is heart-warming considering he has entered a mere
two minutes after our proposed
meeting time.
But, then again, sincerity is
something that has punctuated
Mitchell’s work from radio sketch
shows to his most acclaimed
role, that of Mark the loveable
loser in Channel 4’s Peep Show.
His obsession with writing comedy, though, began way back
in his schooldays. “I always felt
that doing a joke was the cleverest thing. I would intrinsically
prefer a parody of something to
the actual thing itself” Mitchell
proffers as an explanation for
his interest.
“At school a group of us
swotty, actory types wrote
reams and reams of sketches.
With characteristic self-deprecation he adds, “we completely
failed to put on a show.”
At Cambridge there would be
no such disappointment. After
meeting Robert Webb in his first
year (Webb’s second), the pair
formed a comedy partnership
that his endured to this day.
As part of the prestigious
Cambridge footlights (past performers include Peter Cook,
John Cleese and Stephen Fry),
Mitchell and Webb delighted in
being part of a society that was
“just about making up comedy.
It wasn’t the serious play your
drama teacher at school wanted
to do, it was just about stupid
jokes.”
Given the fact that Mitchell
became the President of the
Cambridge Footlights, his work,
somewhat inevitably, suffered.
Despite having been a selfconfessed “swot” at school,
Mitchell scraped a 2.2. in history after tremendous cramming
in the weeks leading up to his
final exams. He explains, “out
of comedy, drinking and history
I could have done any two. And
I didn’t choose to do comedy
and history.”
Having left university, he
continued to make waves at
the Edinburgh Fringe with his
and Robert’s two-man shows.
Eventually justice prevailed and
the pair landed coveted writing
positions for both Armstrong
and Miller and Big Train.
The duo made their first foray
in front of the camera with the
BBC2 sketch show Bruiser, for
which they also wrote material.
Ricky Gervais was involved in
the writing of this programme
and has been incredibly supportive to the double act to this
day, even declaring Peep Show
one of his favourite comedies
of recent years. Mitchell returns
the favour with his apt description of The Office as “perfect.”
The pair then wrote and
performed in The Mitchell and
Webb Situation. Produced for
music journalism) seems intent
on building these people up until
they self destruct.
The glorification of their music
would be fair enough, but they
consistently want to find the
next Kurt Cobain – Craig Nichols
failed to fully self-destruct, and
now they seem to want Pete
Doherty to take the mantle.
But it’s not this desire of
focusing on the image, rather
than the music that’s prompted
me to write this, as image is
necessary, but it should be
secondary to the actual music.
However, I think NME’s massmarket appeal to the rebellious
teenyboppers is epitomised by
this plea, found on NME.com,
‘Ever slow-danced with Mike
Skinner?
Snogged
Flaming
Lips? NME wants to hear your
stories…’
Is this for music fans, or
those with a Heat magazine
the small sky channel, Play UK,
what the series lacked in budget, it made up for in magnificent
material.
A riotous show far superior to the vastly overrated Little
Britain, this comedy gem surely
stands as perhaps the greatest
forgotten sketch show of modern times.
Mitchell is typically levelheaded with regards its status,
“I’m more proud of the way it
turned out than annoyed that it
was only aired on a small channel.”
Peep Show was to receive
no such indignity. The Channel
4 sitcom, which just concluded
its second series, was written by
Jesse Armstrong and Sam Bain,
two writers whom Mitchell and
Webb had worked with on an
ill-fated group writing experiment.
From these ashes, Armstrong
and Bain developed a good ear
for lines they felt their friends
could utter. The series revolves
around two flatmates, Jeremy
and Mark, using POV camera
angles and internal monologues
to accompany the dark humour.
“I empathise with Mark and
enjoy playing him” he explains,
“I agree with many of his opinions. And, to be fair, at least
he knows what he wants in
terms of his love life. In his own
odd way, at least Sophie knows
Mark likes him. I’ve been in so
many situations when I’ve just
said nothing to someone I’ve
fancied.”
On a more positive note,
the day before our meeting, it
emerges, Peep Show was commissioned for a third series.
What will the four central
forces surrounding the show do
first I enquire?
“I imagine we’ll get drunk”
Comedy duo David Mitchell and Robert Webb.
looks like and his advice for
comes the response.
Mitchell claims watching new aspiring comics is simple, “just
write what makes you laugh.
comedy to be very stressful.
“When it’s bad it annoys me, Oh, and practically speaking, do
Edinburgh.”
when it’s good it terrifies me.”
And so, after a couple of
Despite this, he delights in
enthusing about his favourite pints, and a couple of hours
whiled away, our illuminating
programmes.
“I’m Alan Partridge, The comedy chat must come to an
Office, Monty Python.” He end.
When asked to name his
pauses before considering,
“And there must be a special comedy idols, Mitchell immediplace in comedy heaven for The ately listed Milligan, Sellers and
Cook. The latter choice got me
Simpsons.”
Up next is a second series of thinking.
Member of the Cambridge
That Mitchell and Webb Sound
for Radio 4 which is being writ- Footlights. One half of a double
ten and recorded over the com- act primarily interested in sketch
comedy. Witty. Intelligent.
ing weeks.
Beyond that, he says “I’d love Utterly devoted to his craft.
to write a novel but I haven’t Reminds me of someone.
Not that David Mitchell would
got an idea for one. I don’t
even know what an idea for one ever dare proclaim himself the
Peter Cook of his generation. In
looks like.”
He does, however, know his own words, “I just want to
what a good comedy sketch be on telly doing jokes.”
fascination?
For
reasons
unknown, NME sent me a free
copy of their magazine last year,
and I still couldn’t scan through
it more than once.
I used to be a weekly reader,
but surely the time has come for
it to either become a monthly
magazine and regain some
quality, or for it to be put to
pasture.
Maybe ‘The Edge’ could give
them a few ideas…
An interview with star of the
“Peep Show”, David Mitchell
Features
Page 14
The nature of Truth Mars vs Venus all over again
I suppose I should have
expected nothing less, but I still
always feel a cold apprehension
when the word ‘truth’ is presented
in a group’s promotional material
as an immutable constant
independent
from
rational
justification, as witnessed in
the Christian Union’s activities
week.
Why apprehension? Because
it is a sign that a new style of
religious thinking, distinguished
by a cynical and calculating
marketing approach but retaining
all the moral and intellectual
idiocy of its predecessors – as
witnessed in America with the
resurgence of the religious
right and the recent furore over
the Jerry Springer opera – is
becoming more prevalent here.
This simply seeks to exploit
the insidious and incredibly
damaging effect commercial
advertising has had on mass
culture and the value judgements
of people living in it.
This was always going to be
inevitable - words are now so
cheap that we no longer listen
to them, forcing ever more
aggressive use of language
in order to get the intended
message across, the consistent
devaluation of the complexity of
words and their meanings. But I
can try to resist it, by exile if I
must.
How else could I feel when a
group eager to showcase their
perceived intimacy with ‘truth’
uses the word so casually?
How can a group not feel that
by using a word like truth with
such profligacy, they have
demonstrated the doubtfulness
of their possession of it?
It is more than a little ironic
that the Christian Union focused
around the idea of truth, given
the fundamental dishonesty
displayed in their recent thinking
and activities.
Dishonest to themselves, for
the more time they have spent
talking about their relationship
with Jesus, the less time they
seem have spent in actually
acting on His tenets.
Dishonest to the students they
are attempting to convert, too,
for their prescriptive judgements
on the intelligence and lifestyle
choices of students were telling.
Instead of hawking bettabuy
hot chocolate and cheese
toasties mixed with vacuous
pseudo-debates (‘do Christians
have the best sex?’, ‘Is death
fatal?’, ‘text a prayer’ etc) in a
painful attempt to patronise
students perfectly capable of
making their own intellectual
choices. perhaps it might have
been more appropriate to lead
by example and try to help those
in more direct need of aid.
The inherent hypocrisy of the
CU attempting to lecture me on
the moral implications of God’s
love while at the same time
wilfully ignoring them is quite
interesting.
In effect, all they have
achieved by attempting to
convert me in this manner is
to pervert themselves. I admit
an essential distrust of the
theological basis of evangelism,
especially the evangelism which
the CU seems particularly keen
on, but I have seen little so far
in the way of evidence to lure a
genuinely open mind.
Southampton University has
one of the largest Christian
Union memberships among
students, but simultaneously one
of the most apathetic student
bodies in the country. Although
the association between the two
is an unfair one, I’m not sure it’s
entirely down to co-incidence
either.
I went to a demo in London
the other weekend, I didn’t
see many students from
Southampton come up with me.
I went to the ESF last autumn –
not many Southampton students
there either, and I’m willing to
bet that I won’t see many at the
G8 protest in Gleneagles over
the summer.
Political activism, affecting
social change to improve lives
all over the world, seems not
to appeal. Although I’m not
convinced activism works, it’s
still better than nothing. A friend
of mine lives with some CU
members, and apparently they
won’t give money or time to any
charity not directly associated
with a Christian faith.
The idea that charity can
exist for charity’s sake – altruism
in its purest form, and surely
what Christianity is all about
– seems to have evaded them.
It would seem, then, that the
CU’s misguided focus is only
a symptom of a much bigger
malaise, and it is certainly not
responsible for it. Ultimately,
they are as much at its mercy as
anyone or anything else.
I hope that those reading this
won’t dismiss it out of hand, but
instead look inside themselves
to see if what I say is true. Even
faith is not above personal
scrutiny and rational analysis,
after all.
So whatever you believe,
perhaps it’s worth checking you
haven’t stepped off course.
Laura Armstrong
For the majority of students
embarking on their second
year at university and making
the move from halls to houses,
this change will have been a
favourable one.
In spite of the token
dripping tap, missing drawer
or deafeningly loud washing
machine that most houses
possess, they also provide a
friendlier atmosphere and a
larger dose of freedom.
However, in the comparison
between student houses the
similarities often end there.
Careful research has shown that
a house of six girls and a house
of eight boys, for example, are
about as alike as Venus and
Mars.
The differences between these
case studies become obvious as
soon as you enter either building
- while the boys’ corridor is
cluttered with bikes, the girls’
corridor is an assault course of
washing lines and wet clothes –
the effect of throwing together
six extensive wardrobes.
Further into the houses you
are met with further differences
- in one living room a dartboard,
in the other a life-size Brad Pitt
poster. The mess in each room is
also distinctly characteristic.
While the boys’ mess can
include entire traffic lights and
a lost looking rabbit, the girls’
is more likely to consist of the
remains of a botched attempt at
making chocolate fondue.
However, by far the most
noticeable distinction between
the two houses concerns the
atmosphere in each. For example,
it is impossible to avoid a strong
spirit of competition amongst
the boys that can extend to
anything from cooking ability to
monopoly.
The living room boasts no less
than eight playstations, used for
a formal league of Pro Evolution
Soccer that is carefully mapped
out with spreadsheets.
By comparison, the only
competition in the girls’ house
tends to revolve around the
availability of mirrors.
There is no need to compete
over who is using the hair
straighteners, as there are
six pairs - obviously used for
purposes of heating, and not
even remotely connected to
vanity.
In the comparison between
these two houses, it becomes
obvious that the experiences of
each couldn’t be further apart,
and that despite the stereotypes
every student house is different.
Therefore, to avoid dramatic
controversy, the verdict of the
comparison has to be that
neither is better than the other,
only better suited to different
people.
It is also worth pointing out
that opposites attract - as long
as some opposites stay away
from the straighteners of the
others.
A Hair of the Morning After...
mates wrote on your forehead in
indelible ink last night and also
helps to cover up the ‘I drank a
lot last night’ look on your face.
2.Paracetamol – this provides
quick pain relief. Wait until
completely sober, otherwise will
make you more drunk.
3.Plasters – these will cunningly
cover up the cuts you got from
falling in a bush on the way
home and will help your feet
recover from the beautiful but
painful shoes you wore the night
before.
Contrary to popular belief, closing your eyes doesn’t make the room
stop spinning. It just keeps on going without you...
Madeleine Binne
The supposed cure for a
hangover is to keep drinking
more alcohol, so by this logic the
majority of university students
should be alcoholics by now.
The thing about drinking is
that ultimately it is a lot of fun
(okay so maybe not that fun
when you wake up next to an
ogre or in a different county)
but it’s the spontaneity and
excitement of drinking that
makes it the average students’
favourite hobby.
Although the real cure to a
painful hangover is not to drink
too much in the first place,
speaking from experience and
careful observation of others this
rarely happens.
So after a crazy night of
drinking and silly dancing,
possibly falling over lots and
waking up feeling like a gorilla
that’s just been hit on the head
with a sledgehammer, what is
the best way to get you back to
your usual self?
Here are 5 top tips to survive
even the worst hangover:
1.Paperbag – available from
most fruit and veg shop. This
essential item allows you to go to
lectures without people noticing
the obscene messages your
4.Sleep – preferably in a big
comfy bed. Remember to leave
a sign saying ‘fragile, please
be quiet’ on your door and
hopefully at least one person
will be a bit quieter to aid you
getting to sleep. Alternatively
try ear plugs.
5.Food – anything you can find
in large quantities; This will soak
up the alcohol. Don’t have too
much though because then
you’ll have a stomach ache as
well as a pounding headache to
deal with.
So have a good time, use the
ancient Spanish philosophy of
‘siesta, fiesta’ whereby you party
lots and sleep lots... Oh, and you
could go to some lectures from
time to time, too.
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Eighties Children’s Television - a
whole new universe of weirdness.
Different
ways to pass
the year
Craig Williams
Button Moon: Tribute to the drug consumption of childrens’ TV
execs during the Eighties, or glorious celebration of surrealism?
Claire Sinka
They don’t make them like they
used to. Jake of the Tweenies
might have a Mohican, but it’s
not like he frequents a button in
outer space or turns superhero
when he eats a banana, is it?
What else could I be talking
about than the bizarre creations
that made up children’s television
of the 1980’s. Don’t get me
wrong, today’s shows have their
moments, but they’re just never
going to be any match for the
shows of our childhood.
The problem these days is
that they all try too hard to be
educational, whereas the only aim
of the television entertainment
of our era appeared to be to
warp our minds completely.
Mr Benn is one of the main
offenders, comprising of a
middle-aged man with a
penchant for dressing up.
The changing room was a
mysterious gateway to another
world, which allowed Mr Benn
to experience whatever era he
wished, simply by donning the
appropriate costume.
And I think the effect that this
show has had on our generation
is evident in every student in
the country. Did somebody
say Cowboys and Indians pubcrawl? We’re trawling the charity
shops of Portswood for the
cut-price Mr Benn experience
before you can say “relive your
childhood fantasies”, although I
don’t recall the ‘Pimps and Hoes’
episode.
If Mr Benn wasn’t your hero,
then maybe Bananaman or
Super Ted was? One was about
a schoolboy called Eric whose
eating of some fruit enables him
to save the world, and the other
of a disregarded teddy bear, who
is rescued by some dude called
Spotty and is suddenly equally
capable of saving the world.
With these two on the case,
we were in safe hands. I have a
few questions, though; out of all
the fruits, why a banana? And
exactly what kind of creature
was Spotty?
Even banana-obsessed superheroes were a bit conventional,
however, by eighties standards.
What about a family made out
of kitchen implements that enjoy
visiting a Button?
Ah, Button Moon, arguably
one of most surreal shows ever
to be made. It featured spacetravelling characters with spoons
for hands, mops for hair and
eggcups for bodies, hanging
out below Blanket sky, watching
the Umbrella Ballet… It only got
stranger from there.
But one of the shows I
remember liking most, is one
that I find few people have ever
head of; the mighty Stoppit and
Tidy Up.
Surely created by a despairing
mother, it featured the title
characters along with others
such as Go-To-Bed, Comb-YourHair, Eat-Your-Greens and the
Big-Bad-I-Said-No!
There really is no explaining
what entertains the mind of a
child, and with each episode
only lasting 5 minutes you were
never quite sure whether it really
happened, or if you imagined it.
All things considered, us
children were subjected to some
potentially mind-twisting stuff.
Perhaps somebody should start
looking for correlation between
the quantities of hallucinogenic
drugs consumed and the rate of
children’s television production
of the 80’s. It would certainly
explain a lot.
Valentine’s Day has been and
gone. Did you enjoy it? Miss it?
Either way, it can be seen as an
event to make money out of
your affection for that special
person in your life, or one that
gives you the opportunity to
show how much you care.
But while Valentine’s Day is a
good occasion for the romantics
among you, surely there needs
to be more, well, humorous
celebrations that are brought to
light.
For example, who wouldn’t be
interested in a mass celebration
for National Pie Day? (January
23rd) If we are supposed to be
an obese nation, here would be
our chance to prove it.
Now most of these events
were invented in America, such
as the rather worrying ‘Dress up
your Pet’ day, but there are many
other fun times to be had.
Some are truly bizarre, and
therefore should strike a chord
with students, like ‘National
Kazoo Day’ (January 28th)
and ‘National Backwards Day’
(January 31st).
If you don’t want to wait a
year to take part in those, here
are some you could organise a
party around (as if you need an
excuse!)
February 27th – Polar Bear Day
April 6th – Jump Over Things
Day
May 14th – Dance Like a
Chicken Day
June 2nd – Yell “fudge” at
the Cobras in North America
Day (Leave this one to the
Americans)
September 19th – Talk Like a
Pirate Day
October 1st – Scare a Friend
Day
November 9th – Lost Sock
Memorial Day
There are many more ‘special’
days to be found on the
Internet, so if you were bored
by Valentine’s Day, try to spread
the word of these lesser-known
celebrations.
The Idiot’s Guide to Flirting
Madeleine Binnie
Flirting is a complicated task
that takes both subtlety and
nerve. Too much flirting can lead
to awkwardness if the recipient
doesn’t feel the same way but
too little will mean that your
attempts at affection are not
noticed.
Batting your eyelids at a certain someone is all well and
good, but if you really want
them to know that you like
them and find out how they feel
in return, remember to reach
a happy medium in both conversation and body language.
For example gently touching
their arm to emphasise a point
in conversation will seem both
natural and flirty without being
over the top.
The important thing to
remember about flirting is that
it comes in many forms and can
mean nothing more than friendship rather than a relationship if
done in the right way. Flirting is
also a sign of possession; couples often flirt subconsciously in
public as both a sign of affection
and a warning to others that
they are an item.
The key to successful flirting
is making the other person feel
comfortable with the fact that
you are both outwardly showing
affection in public. Signs that
the other person is uncomfortable can include lack of eye
contact, fidgeting and the mentioning of attention from other
women/men.
At the end of the day flirting
is normally done without the
people concerned realising and
this is why outsiders often mention it before the flirters have
even realised what they have
been doing.
If the flirting becomes consistent and both parties are single
then it is probably a good idea
to tentatively mention the idea
of being more than friends.
If said in the right tone even
if the other flirter does not feel
the same way there is no reason why you can’t simply enjoy
being ‘flirty friends’. So have fun
and get flirting!
Societies
Page 16
Editorial The Bridge hosts
national comedy
competition
Paul Teed
Laurence Olding
I hope the new semester is treating you well so far; ‘semester’, a
term that always strikes me as
being horribly Americanised.
This month we’ve got articles
from the Comedy Club, The Sri
Lankan Society as well as a preview of a forthcoming concert
that sees three Southampton
choirs joining together in harmony amongst others.
If you would like to contribue to this section for the
next issue please email articles
to me as soon as possible at
lo402@soton.ac.uk.
I hope you like the new
design of these pages but if you
have any suggestions or criticisms send them through to the
same address.
On Wednesday 9th February,
the SUSU’s Bridge Bar hosted
the South West regional heats
of the Laughing Horse National
Comedy Competition.
The evening consisted of
eight acts, with the top two
performers going through to
the quarter-finals of the competition, getting a chance to
win a 600 pound prize in the
final. The comedians had to
impress a panel made up of
SU President, the show manager of Southampton Jongleurs
comedy club, Phil Brieriey, and
entertainments editor at the
Southampton Daily Echo, Noel
Davies.
Four of the acts were
Southampton University students, Luke Catterson, Owen
Reed-Beadle, Darren Richmond
and Glyn Richards, who
have all performed at various Southampton University
Comedy Club events.
The standard of comedy
tended to be correlated with
the experience of the comedians, and those that were least
favoured by the judges were
the acts with the least number
of gigs under their belt. In contrast, it was the more animated
delivery of the more confident
acts that allowed the audience
and judges to appreciate the
nuances of their humour.
The intimate atmosphere of
the venue gave the event a
cosy and informal air, and the
audience seemed to show a
great respect for the standard of
performances, aware that none
of the acts were professional
comedians.
The best of the non-student
comedians was James Everett,
who came in 3rd place, despite
it only being his 5th gig.
He talked about his strange
experiences growing up in “inbred” Devon, using Eminem lyrics and Karate Kid references
to describe a fight he had with
his brother-in law, who took
offence to him ‘eyeing up’ his
wife.
Second place went to
Southampton University student
Darren Richmond who gave a
refreshingly different monologue sketch posing as headmaster Camber Hesketh, speaking in a school assembly.
His pupils (the audience)
were subjected to tales of wartime experiences in Saigon,
and propositions for the new
academic year, characterized
by hints of sarcasm and caustic satire towards public school
culture and their idiosyncratic
headmasters.
The winner of the event
was Glyn Richards, President
of Southampton University
Comedy Club. Glyn won by a
considerable margin, and was a
great act to finish the evening.
His (unrepeatable) gags about
sexual experiences, clever wordplays, and spontaneous audience interaction were enough
to win over both the audience
and the judges. Both Glyn and
Darren will now go through to
the quarter finals of the competition.
Above all, the competition
gave the impression that we
were witnessing the ‘grass roots’
of comedy, with the potential
for greater things to come.
Student comedy is only just
finding its feet in Southampton,
and the Southampton University
Comedy Club is always looking
for people interested in doing
stand-up or script writing for
sketches or radio.
If you are interested in getting involved, please e-mail
comclub@soton.ac.uk.
was on the 10th of September
2001.
Championed by Classic FM,
The Armed Man has captured
the imagination of music lovers
everywhere to become a bestselling CD and one of the most
performed choral works of the
moment.
If you fancy an evening listening to some of the best voic-
es Southampton can offer then
come down to the Guildhall
on Saturday 12th March at
7.30pm.
The Cube Three Soton choirs together in concert
pays out!
John Coe
Laurence Olding
Following countless rebrands,
the Wednesday Cube night has
finally gone back to a more traditional ‘AU night’ style.
Gone is the free entry,
replaced by a £1 entrance fee
aimed at benefiting clubs and
societies further.
Once the pound has been
paid, society members can mention their club and get a share
of the entrance fee diverted into
their accounts.
Though some have bemoaned
the return of an entrance fee,
it should alleviate the financial
burden of some of the more
hard-up societies and encourage all societies to make use of
the Cube’s multi-million pound
facilities that opened just a few
years ago.
Time will tell whether this
incarnation of the Wednesday
night ‘brand’ will be successful,
and will build on the successes
of the relatively popular ‘Hey
Ewe’ formula.
Three Southampton choirs will
come together on Saturday 12th
March at 7:30pm for a concert
at Southampton Guildhall.
The Southampton University
Phil and the Southampton
Philharmonic Choir will be joined
by the Southampton Youth
Choir. They will be accompanied by the thoughtful tones
of the New London Sinfonia
and conducted by the exuberant David Gibson.
The concert will include two
popular orchestral works alongside two very accessible contemporary works. One of these
pieces is The Kestrel Road, a
song-cycle for chorus and
piano. This is a new work by
Sir Peter Maxwell Davies, commissioned for his 70th birthday.
Sir Maxwell-Davies lives in the
Orkney Islands where he finds
much of the inspiration for his
music.
In complete contrast will be
Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto
No. 1, to be performed by
the New London Sinfonia and
up-and-coming young pianist
Martin Sturfält. With its dramatic opening and rich melodies,
it is possibly the most popular
piano concert in the world.
We will also be performing Brahms’ tongue-in-cheek
Academic Festival Overture.
This piece is based entirely on
German student songs which
celebrate the less intellectual
sides of student life and the
work ends with a rousing choral
section. No doubt there will be
lots of ‘less intellectual’ things
which everyone can find familiar
in this piece!
The highlight of the programme will be a profoundly moving suite for choir and
orchestra from Karl Jenkins’ The
Armed Man: A Mass for Peace.
Karl Jenkins, former member of
the 1970s progressive rock bank
Soft Machine, turned to writing
classical music in the 1990s.
The mass was written to mark
the passing of the 20th century,
“the most war-torn and destructive century in human history”,
and looked ahead with hope
for a peaceful new millennium,
although notably the CD release
Getting ready for the Armed Man
Ticket price reductions for
students! Telephone the box
office on 023 8063 2601 or buy
your tickets on the door.
Support the Tsunami Appeal
with the Sri Lankan Society
Jayashanki Perera and Nilika Perera
‘All I saw was a big wall of water heading towards our train. Within
two minutes the carriage I was in filled with water. I managed to
climb atop the carriage, only to realise that there was a second
wave heading my way.’
This is an excerpt from a typical
eye witness account you would
hear from the survivors of the
Tsunami waves which struck the
coastal belt of Sri Lanka on the
26th of December 2004.
The 30 foot killer waves were
the result of an earthquake in the
seabed off Sumatra, Indonesia.
The true scale of the tragedy
became apparent in the aftermath of the Tsunami, with the
death toll rising by the minute.
People were searching amongst
the rubble not for their possessions, but for their loved ones or
a mere photograph in memory
of the deceased.
In Sri Lanka, the death toll
stands at nearly 40,000 at
present count while more than
two million people have been
left homeless, their livelihood
destroyed. A vast number of
inhabitants of the coastal areas
have lost their relatives and
thousands of children have been
orphaned in the wake of the
disaster.
It was heartening to see the
overwhelming support flowing into the country from all
quarters, be it local or international. Tourists and locals from
all around Sri Lanka cumulated
their efforts to assist the people of the devastated areas in
numerous ways.
Although the initial stages of
rescuing people, attending to
survivors, burying the dead, setting up adequate relief camps
for the displaced and disease
management have come to a
close in Sri Lanka, there is still a
lot to be done in terms of reconstruction and rehabilitation.
These long term tasks include
www.wessexscene.co.uk
the construction and renovation
of houses, schools, hospitals,
public buildings, motorways and
railway tracks as well as the
rejuvenation of affected industries such as the tourist and fishing industries.
Being a developing country,
Sri Lanka is clearly unable to
successfully cope with the enormity of the task at hand. Whilst
being grateful for the unprecedented amount of international
aid it has received, Sri Lanka still
needs a mammoth amount of
global assistance to deal with
the situation competently.
The Sri Lankan Society has
organised many events to further this cause. Students have
helped us by participating in
the numerous charity events we
have organised and by donating
clothes and other basic necessities.
The Southampton University
Sri Lankan Society has recently
held its annual ‘Charity Dinner
Dance’ on the 26th of February,
7pm onwards, in the Glen Eyre
Main Dining Hall. The event
included traditional games, a
cultural and fashion show, a
raffle draw, Sri Lankan dinner
and a variety of music with a DJ
afterwards.
All proceeds went towards
providing medical aid to the
areas affected by the tsunami in
Sri Lanka.
Tickets for the event are available
by email: srilanka@soton.ac.uk
or via telephone: 077771713033
or 07771572787.
Lib Dems welcome MEP and PPC for Eastleigh
Laurence Olding and Alex Bazin
The Liberal Democrat Society
and the Debating Society
are presenting
an evening
with Chris Huhne MEP on 24
February.
Mr Huhne is currently Member of the European
Parliament representing SouthEast England, a columnist for
the Economist, and was formerly the Business & City Editor
for the Independent.
On the evening there will
be a debate on ‘Globalisation:
Threat or Opportunity?’ This
parliamentary-style debate will
be followed by a brief question and answer session. All are
welcome, even if you are not a
member of either society, and
the event will be free.
The evening will start from
7:45pm in the Small Meeting
Room, level one of the Students’
Union.
The event marks the first of
a series of seminars organised
by the Liberal Democrat Society
as well as a continuation of
Debating Society’s guest speaker events, more of which are to
follow in the coming months.
Visit
www.soton.ac.uk/~debating
for more information.
Chris Huhne MEP, who is appearing at the University on Thursday 24 February
Politics
Page 18
Editorial
The future’s not orange
Henry Palmer
Laurence Olding
With a general election looming, coupled with the emergence of political presence at
the University, exemplified by
the re-establishment of Labour
Club a year after its disbandment and the Liberal Democrats,
not seen on campus for perhaps
a decade, the time seemed right
to start a Political section in the
new-look Wessex Scene.
This section aims to provide a
balance of political opinion, this
issue voicing opinions from various sides.
It is always heartening to
know that there are politicians out there who refuse to
be bound by the party whip,
who are brave enough to stand
up for what they believe in
and vote against their party or
resign from office, like Michael
Heseltine.
An even rarer breed is that
type of politician who is willing to
leave altogether their particular
party to follow their conviction
that the party is wrong about
an issue. George Galloway and
Paul Marsden were Labour MPs
who stood up for what they
believed in and were cut down
by the party machine, victims of
their own bravery.
One man in particular seems
particularly determined not to
be bound by the strictures of
party discipline. A man who
has left not one, but two, large
political parties when he felt
that they were out of touch with
truth, decency and honesty. His
name? Robert Kilroy-Silk. With
the founding of Veritas at the
tail-end of last year, the permatanned Kilroy-Silk began what
he hoped would be the third
chapter in his political career.
Despite his renunciation
of first the Labour and then
the UKIP whip, one would be
very hard-pressed to apply an
adjective like “brave”, “honest”, “truthful” or even “decent
human being” to the orangeskinned, silver-haired one.
Political expediency, casual
racism (the branding of Arabs as
“limb-amputators and women-
repressors” and the demonisation of asylum seekers) and
plain creepiness seem to be
Kilroy-Silk’s only guiding principles. Fortunately there is little
chance of him furthering his
political ambitions.
With the right-wing of the
political spectrum consisting
of the BNP, UKIP, Veritas and
myriad other crazies, it seems
unlikely that there will be a large
enough concentration of votes
for anyone to the right of the
Tories to prosper.
It is also worth remembering
that despite the rabid persecution of asylum seekers, Muslims
and liberals by the national press
there are still intelligent.
There may yet be hope for
him. As John Prescott proved
when he punched the egg-flinging farmer Craig Evans in 2001,
voters love nothing more than
a politician who can give as
good as they get, and Kilroy-Silk
seems to be able to do this.
The Veritas leader was accosted in December last year by a
protester who emptied a bucket
of slurry over Kilroy-Silk’s head,
just before his appearance on a
Radio 4 panel show.
An irate Kilroy-Silk pursued
the muck-slinger down the
street shouting “If you want
s**t, I’ll give you some s**t!”
One can only presume that
he forced the poor bloke to listen while he recited the whole of
the Veritas election manifesto.
It’s an amusing vignette
about a horrible character, and
hopefully, the only notable thing
we’ll remember the odious little
creep for in a few year’s time.
Prime Minister Tony Blair and
Chancellor of the Exchequer,
Gordon Brown have laid out as
part of their plans for the future
of the UK as a leader in international research.
In response to this the
Aldwych Group, the Students’
Unions of the Russell Group
Universities, and the National
Union of Students arranged to
come together in London on
Wednesday 23rd February to
make their voices and opinions
heard. The day started with a
picket outside the Home Office.
Some Scottish sources predicted
over 300 students expressing
their displeasure. Only 30 were
around, but their sentiment was
still felt.
The latter half of the day
was spent in the Palace of
Westminster lobbying MPs. The
VP Education, Jonathan Walsh,
and the Men’s Officer, Andrew
Caldwell joined Students’ Union
Officers from as far afoot as
Glasgow and Cardiff to make
their message heard.
MP Anne Campbell was on
hand to speak with Union representatives about EDM 281,
an Early Day Motion which she
has put forward. The EDM calls
for international students to
be exempt for these renewal
charges the same way they are
exempt for council tax. Over
140 MPs had signed it so far,
and the aim of the lobbying was
to increase that number.
The SUSU representatives
managed to speak with 4 MPs,
Rt Hon John Denham MP
(Southampton, Itchen), Mr Mark
Oaten MP (Winchester), Sandra
Gidley MP (Romsey), and Mr
David Rendel MP (Newbury).
Mr Denham said that he
agreed that there was a problem
for some students with being
able to pay for the renewals,
but dismissed the EDM. Mr
Oaten completely agreed with
the EDM and had signed it
earlier. Miss Gidley, after discussion with the Southampton
delegation, agreed to sign the
EDM, as well as writing to the
Minister, and asking her party,
the Liberal Democrats, to create
a party line on the subject. Mr
Rendel, the Liberal Democrats’
Spokesman
for
Education
agreed with the EDM and said
he would ask a question about
it during the Education debate
on the Thursday. None of the
Conservative MPs called were
available for discussion.
Following Wednesday’s lobbying success, the NUS intends
a much larger lobbying session the following week, and
VP Education, Jonathan Walsh,
intends to continue discussing
this with local MPs from the
Hampshire area at their constituency offices, in an attempt to
reverse what can only be called
a step backwards in the movement towards the world’s best
higher education system.
Students Fight Visa Charge Increase
Andrew Caldwell
Students from prominent universities all over the country
banded together on Wednesday
23rd February in a desperate
effort to prevent the Home
Office from going forward with
plans to increases international
student visa renewal charges.
At the moment, the UK
charges a student £36 for their
initial visa. Most international
students come to universities
like Southampton for postgraduate courses, and often need to
renew their visas for extended
projects and write up time.
Last year the renewal cost shot
up to £150 by mail and £250 in
person. In the 2003/2004 academic year, 511 Southampton
students sent in renewal applications at a sum cost of £78,000.
The Home Office, however,
intends to increase these fees
to £250 by mail, and £500 in
person. This would increase the
amount Southampton students
were sending to a staggering
£128,000. Compared to the
average student loan, or living allowance, this amount of
money makes it impossible for
some students to continue their
studies.
On a much larger scale, there
is a huge concern that these
charges will make studying in
the UK much less attractive.
At the moment, the charges
are already far ahead of any of
the other G8 countries. With
these new charges, a large portion of students would move to
countries such as Canada and
Japan where the charges are a
fraction of what they are in the
UK. This also goes against what
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Labour ‘anti-Semitism’ isn’t
planned, it’s just moronic
Laurence Olding
Since his appointment as the
third Conservative Party leader
since New Labour’s first landslide victory in 1997, much has
been made of Michael Howard’s
Jewish background and in particular, the plight of his ancestors; his grandmother was killed
at Auschwitz in 1944.
In the light of recent discussions on immigration, Howard’s
immigrant past has in some
respects been used as defence
for some of the more controversial Tory proposed policies to
curtail immigration that would
see immigration levels capped
under a Conservative administration with a new Australianstyle points system for applicants seeking visas to work in
Britain.
Mr Howard’s religion, and
that of his Shadow Chancellor
Oliver Letwin, again cropped up
recently following the unveiling of proposed new general
election campaign posters by
the Labour Party. Depicting
Letwin and Howard as flying pigs, with the caption ‘the
day Tory sums add up’, their
appearance was greeted with
cries of anti-Semitism, associating the top Tories with pigs. For
a Jewish person, as prospective
Conservative candidate for the
Finchley, Andrew Mennear has
stated, there is nothing more
distasteful than to be associated
with a non-kosher animal such
as a pig.
As more and more gravitas is placed on events such
as the relatively new Holocaust
Memorial Day, contrasting with
the reported growth in anti-
Semitism there is growing wonder as to whether there is at
present a more sinister undercurrent to both this representation of the Tory leader, and
indeed to earlier attacks from
within his own party and in the
wider press comparing him to a
vampire, recalling associations
with the perennial ritual murder accusations of earlier antiJewish times.
In these times of political correctness and form, it is perhaps
all too easy to claim racism or
ill treatment and it is perhaps
more familiar to see the Tories
themselves at the centre of
such claims, rather than Labour.
Indeed, it seems incredible for
the Labour party to see itself
under attack for accusations of
anti-Semitism, and - if it were
true - they have perhaps bril-
liantly succeed in both attracting
the anti-Semitic vote through
the publicity whilst also keeping the ‘anti-racist’ vote won in
deference to the ‘nasty party’
depiction levelled at the opposition.
Whilst it seems unlikely that
the Labour Party would steep
so low, despite the accusations
of power-madness levelled by
the likes of David Davies AM in
his online journal, the apparent
stupidity of the idea is shocking. That the ruling party could
devise a poster that could so
simply be construed in antiSemitic terms and then to follow it up with another that
depicts the opposition leader as
a Fagin-like character, despite
facing wide-spread condemnation for Labour Party chairman
Ian McCartney’s Fagin jibe at
Oliver Letwin at the Scottish
Labour Party conference in
March 2004 is in many ways
inexcusable.
The Labour party may
not be racist or anti-Semitic,
and indeed the past of the
Conservative party is perhaps
far more guilty of fanning the
flames of hatred. That the governing party can go on making
such ignorant blunders in such
a blasé manner is deserving
of more outcry and it is high
time for a thorough rethink
of the government publicity
machine.
Laurence Olding presents
political debate on Surge every
Tuesday from 2-4pm - 1287am
and 87.7fm
Six pledges that will set the
agenda for the next election
Peter Lamb
This week Labour revealed
their promises for a third term
in government. The six pledges were unveiled in five locations as the party converged
on Gateshead for their annual
spring conference. The timing
of these pledges are further evidence that the country is on
course for a General Election on
May 5th of this year.
The pledges, in keeping with
the New Labour convention
of the last two elections, are
printed on cards which will be
distributed to households across
the country with the advice to
retain the cards to ensure that
the party meets their pledges.
Of course there is always the
fear with such a ploy that the
pledges may come back to haunt
them, but with their past record
this does not appear to be a
concern for Mr Blair. Indeed, out
of the 229 pledges in the 1997
General Election Manifesto the
BBC found that apparently only
21 had not been met by the end
of the allotted five year period.
Yet these new pledges differ
from the older ones significantly
in their content. The 1997 and
2001 pledge cards held specific
pledges, detailing targets which
could be objectively measured,
whereas the 2005 pledges are
more ambiguous, providing a
general explanation of the party’s aims rather then specifics.
All of the main pledges seem
to be policies which no-one
could disagree with. The real
issue will be in the ways which
the party would seek to implement them. With no targets to
reach and policies open to subjective interpretation, this new
set of pledges could be seen as
an attempt to be things to all
people.
The difference between the
2005 pledges and those of previous elections may well be the
result of Mr Blair’s choice to
replace Gordon Brown with Alan
Milburn as election co-ordinator, resulting in a more Blairite
approach to election strategy
then has been seen before.
The reason for the changes
are a question to which only
Milburn and Blair know the
answer, and the public are going
to have to make their own decisions in how they interpret the
six pledges.
Tony Blair eyes up a third term.
Sport
Page 20
Editorial
Hello and welcome to the new
look Sport Scene...it looks so
good, I’m gutted I’ve only got
a couple more issues in which
to strut my journalistic stuff!
This issue we take a look at the
Cricket Club’s hopes for the
coming season and we hear
about their winter net sessions
at the impressive Rose Bowl facilities.
Heidi Ellis gives us a rundown
on the mechanics of the Riding
Club’s competition process and
also reports on their outstanding victory over local rivals,
Portsmouth University and The
Institute.
I’ve had unprecendented access to the biggest names at
Southampton Football Club
and we have a double page
spread including an in-depth
interview with Saints legend
Matthew Le Tissier and a focus
on Harry Redknapp’s transfer
dealings during January.
And the back page takes a look
at the Paragliding Club and we
have a report from a new ‘flyer’ on the club’s day trip to The
Isle of Wight.
If you’ve got an article e-mail
me at the address below.
Enjoy!
Dave Firth
sport@wessexscene.co.uk
Wessex cricket hopes
for all-round success
James Barrett
At this time of year one of
the last things you might think
about as you look out of the
window and see the relentless
Southampton rain would be the
national summer sport - cricket.
But while most students enjoy
a lie in on Sunday mornings,
both the Mens and Ladies cricketers can be found training in
the old sports hall, as they have
done weekly since November.
There is a weekly session for
potential Men’s First and Second
team players, as well as the
Ladies’ XI, at the excellent facilities in the indoor school of the
Rose Bowl, which are of international standard.
The club receives the benefit of assistance from their
coach Terry Trodd, who has also
coached Hampshire sides for
many years.
The Ladies side, in addition
to their weekly training, have
also been competing in a local
indoor league.
The club has also been very
active socially over the winter,
with regular Wednesday visits
to either the Cube or Jesters, as
well as other events such as a
Golf Day and a visit to the Isleof-Wight.
So what are the prospects
for the club next summer – will
all the training on miserable
Sunday mornings in November
pay off?
The Men’s First XI have
only lost two players from last
year, and so, with 2003 skipper
Martin Tunwell returning, optimism is high for a return to the
BUSA Shield final they reached
in that year.
The squad is particularly
strong in the bowling department with veteran Adam Sharp
looking to add to his club record
tally of 62 wickets, albeit taken
over a marathon six seasons.
Leg spinner Patrick Turk
has benefited from a spell in
Australia over the winter as part
of the ECB national development programme, where he was
Wessex cricketers have had the use of the excellent Rose Bowl indoor facilities near Winchester to
keep them sharp during the winter
coached by Terry Jenner.
recent successes over the past off in style with the club taking
The Second XI have only lost couple of years, as they also a squad of twenty-four players
two players from last year and reached the BUSA shield final on what promises to be a oncethe Thirds none.
in-a-lifetime tour to Barbados
in 2003.
Combined with a very promConfidence about the annual for fourteen nights and seven
ising intake of freshers, this Varsity match is high, with the fixtures at the end of June.
means we should have strong Men’s team looking to continue
So there seems great cause
sides throughout the club, with their unbeaten record in the for optimism for the cricketers
plenty of healthy competition competition.
at Southampton, as long as the
for selection.
This is despite the fact the glorious British summer arrives
The Ladies’ XI has also ben- Institute will be able to rely on time!
efited from a large intake of on the talents of their captain
New players of all standnew players.
Damo Shirazi, who plays for the ards are always welcome; if
Under captain Kate Transfield British Universities side.
you’re interested please e-mail
they will look to build on their
The season will be rounded jlc502@soton.ac.uk.
Uni riding club romp
to first ever derby win
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Heidi Ellis
It was the first ever
Southampton
University
Riding Club derby on the cold
rainy day of January 19 with
Southampton’s 1st Equestrian
Team competing in Botley
against Portsmouth University,
Southampton Institute and
Surrey.
It saw the team (consisting
of Charlotte Risius, Natasha
Collings, Jenny Morris and Lizzie
Angwin) gain their first win in
their first competition of the
year.
The BUSA Championship
competition works by having
three to four university teams
within a league, with teams
consisting of four riders.
Each team holds a “home”
competition where they have
the advantage of previous
knowledge of their horses.
Each rider must get the best
out of their horse, be it at home
with a horse they are familiar
with, or away where they could
end up with a bit of a handful!
It is test of the rider that most
people, until they compete in
BUSA, will never have experienced.
Most riders normally compete on horses they have ridden
for a long time and have built up
a relationship with.
After a very un-student-like
8am start, team members prepared the horses for the day
ahead, even though many had
been out the night before.
They began with preparation;
plaiting the manes, grooming
and tacking up with saddles and
bridles while getting motivated
for the job ahead.
The first part of the day was
dressage. Each team chooses a
rider to ride one of four horses after watching a very short
demonstration.
The riders are then given a
seven-minute warm up to get to
know their horse before riding
the dressage test.
Portsmouth Uni and The Institute proved no competetion for our ‘Easy Riders’
The test involves completing luck - matching a rider with a next was the show jumping.
This works in the same fora series of movements to the horse that most suits them - as
best of the horse’s ability, with well as ability, as horses can be mat as the dressage test but
a judge marking each rider on very stubborn creatures some- with different horses.
The wintery conditions were
five areas: discipline, accuracy, times.
control, rider position and obeHowever, on the day the not good for the jumping due
dience.
Southampton riders were very to the wet ground, which made
Riders are given penalties calm and performed the tasks it difficult for all riders to get
around the tricky course.
representing the difference brilliantly.
Penalties are given to riders
between their dressage score
By lunchtime, the girls were
and the highest scoring rider on sitting comfortably in the top who knock poles off the fences
the same horse.
spot, with Charlotte, Jenny and or whose horses refuse to jump
Dressage is one of the hard- Natasha all getting the highest a fence. They are also given if a
est challenges a rider can face.
marks. This, however, did not rider is thrown from the horse,
A lot of the test depends on ensure them a win because up which has happened on many
occasions.
Southampton
University
cruised through the show jumping, all going clear.
Many of the other teams’
riders were unable to handle
the horses provided and made
mistakes.
Southampton were the only
team to finish on zero penalities
winning the day with their closest rival, Portsmouth, trailing by
14 penalties, followed by Surrey
and the Institute.
This great success comes off
the back of a tough time for
the 1st Equestrian Team. One
team member left university
just weeks before, meaning that
Natasha was pulled in as a last
minute replacement.
To add to this, one horse fell
ill just three days before, meaning that Lizzie had to change
horses at the last minute.
The team was therefore
delighted with their win after
weeks of training.
It gave them a good excuse
to celebrate in the Cube that
evening!
Overall the team has had a
good start to the league stage,
with their other competitions
coming in the next few weeks.
If they are the overall winners of their league, they will go
through to the regional round
and will be competing against
other teams in the South West.
If they win the regional round,
they will go through to the
Nationals held near Birmingham
in April.
There, each rider may be given
the chance to represent student riders for Great Britain and
compete internationally, something that three Southampton
University riders have achieved
in the past four years.
If you are interested in hearing
more about the Southampton
University Riding Club, e-mail us
at riding@soton.ac.uk or check
www.soton.ac.uk/~riding for
details of activities for all abilities.
Sport
Page 22
Le Tissier enjoys media life
but eyes a return to Saints
Dave Firth
Striding through the reception at St. Mary’s, Matthew Le
Tissier exchanges hearty greetings with every member of staff
he passes.
The man is a Southampton
legend, having played for the
club for 17 years, but being
hero-worshipped
evidently
hasn’t gone to his head.
It shows the measure of the
man that he agreed to come all
the way to the stadium just to
have an interview with me and
put on hold the other passion in
his life, golf.
Kitted up in chinos and a
wind-cheater jacket and raring
to hit the course, I waste no
time in asking what he made of
Harry Redknapp’s controversial
appointment as Saints manager.
“As far as I’m concerned,
there was no issue in appointing
Harry as manager.
“He did a tremendous job
at Portsmouth, left the club for
whatever reason and Rupert
Lowe clearly thought he was
the best man for the job,” Le
Tissier revealed.
Redknapp’s
appointment
preceded the January transfer
window and Le Tissier has
been impressed by the signings
Redknapp has made.
“Jamie Redknapp has slotted
in comfortably into the midfield
and is just the type of ball player
needed to unlock defences.
“Calum Davenport looks solid
and his partnership with Claus
Lundekvam looks promising.
“We haven’t seen much of
Bernard, Quashie and Camara
yet but they are all players with
proven Premiership experience
and can only improve a squad
that is low on confidence.”
Since retiring from football in
2002, Le Tissier has moved into
the media side of the game.
He is a regular on Sky Sports’
signature Soccer Saturday programme and enables him to air
his views on the footballing topics of the day.
Working on TV has inevitably
drawn him into discussions
about whether referees should
use video replays to help make
decisions and Le Tissier makes
it clear where he stands on the
issue.
“I’ve been a huge advocator of getting video technology
into football. Referees need to
be told when they’re not doing
their jobs properly and that way
they can be improved. They
need all the help they can get.
“Technology these days is so
fast, it will not stop the game
for too long. By not introducing
video replays, FIFA and UEFA
are burying their heads in the
sand,” he added.
Le Tissier also spoke out
against UEFA’s recent proposal
to have a minimum of four home
grown players in Champions
League squads by 2006, rising
to eight players by 2008.
Although legal implications
may scupper UEFA’s plans, Le
Tissier feels that, should the
proposal be accepted, it will have
a detrimental affect on football.
He said: “I’m not overly keen
on the ruling – it makes a mock-
Le Tissier is enjoying his life after football
ery of the Champions League.
UEFA forcing teams to play inferior players just to be politically
correct is rubbish.
“If UEFA want to increase it
to eight home grown players by
2008, that may seriously damage some teams’ chances of
winning the competition. The
best players should be playing,
simple as that.”
With the Champions League
returning and the top sides from
Germany, Italy and Spain relatively fresh from their two-week
break over the Christmas period,
the weary English clubs have it
all to do if they are to progress
to the quarter finals.
But Le Tissier still feels there
is no need for a winter break in
England.
“There is an argument for
saying it would give English
teams a better chance in Europe
but from a domestic point of
view I don’t think the winters
over here are severe enough
to warrant a winter break,” he
said.
“It might give English clubs an
advantage in Europe if they’ve
had a few weeks off but sometimes you can be on a great run
of form, have the winter break
and struggle to get back into
your stride so it can work both
ways.”
Le Tissier talks passionately and at length about all the
issues I raise, and being involved
in the football media is evidently
something he is relishing, but is
there any desire to return to St.
Mary’s in a coaching capacity?
“I’m enjoying the media side
of things but I’ll probably take
my coaching badges this summer
just in case the urge ever gets
me to go into coaching.
“It takes a lot of patience to
take on a coaching role and I’m
not sure I’ve got it in me!
“I think I’m more suited to
management given the manmanagement aspects involved.
“I’d probably want to be a
manger rather than a coach to
be honest,” he revealed.
Who knows, maybe Saints
fans will once again be cheering
on Le Tissier…as their manager.
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Busy January give Saints
hope of beating the drop...
Dave Firth
Transfer deadline day was
as busy as expected for Harry
Redknapp as he worked overtime to bring in two new faces.
Redknapp lured left-sided
player Olivier Bernard from
Newcastle on a free transfer
and striker Henri Camara joins
on-loan from Wolves.
The manager is clearly
delighted to have secured the
services of the duo, who both
have Premiership experience.
“They’ll do well for us. I’ve
been a big fan of Bernard for a
while now.
“He’s a top class left back.
To take him here on a free
transfer is a great result for us,”
Redknapp revealed.
Camara’s loan deal was complicated given his ties to his
original loan club Celtic and
Wolves, who control the player’s
registration.
However, when Craig Bellamy
agreed to join Celtic on the final
day of trading, Camara became
available and Redknapp leapt at
the chance to bring him to St.
Mary’s.
Redknapp said: “He did well
at Wolves. He had a good run
of scoring goals.
“At Celtic it was difficult for
him to get in the team with
Hartson and Sutton there and
now Bellamy has joined, they
could afford to let him go.”
Bernard was allowed to join
Saints following Newcastle’s
purchase of Celestine Babayaro
from Chelsea.
Bernard conceded his first
team chances would have been
limited and, despite late interest from Birmingham, agreed
to help Saints in their relegation
battle.
He said: “I need to play. I
need to show people I can play
football at the highest level.
Sometimes you have to move
on and that’s what I’ve done.
“It will be very hard but from
what I’ve seen at training, I
think we’ve got enough quality
to stay in the Premier league.”
Bernard and Camara join Jamie
Redknapp, Calum Davidson and
Nigel Quashie as the Saints’
other signings in January.
Redknapp is pleased with his
business dealings in the transfer window and believes Saints
have a real chance of staving off
the threat of relegation.
“I said I thought I needed to
get five players in and I’ve done
that. It’s decent business.
Henri Camara hopes his goals can quieten the relegation whispers that surround St. Mary’s
“It’s going to be tight but
if we can go on a run and
drag a couple of teams down,
you never know,” Redknapp
explained.
Davidson and Redknapp Jr.
have settled comfortably into
the side and have lifted the club
since their arrival.
If Quashie, Bernard and
Camara have a similar impact,
Saints have got every chance
of turning their fortunes around
and avoiding the drop.
With the early signs encouraging, Redknapp has every right
to be satisfied with his January
transfer dealings.
Niemi’s safe hands would be welcome at any Premiership club
see Redknapp turning them
transfer fee, Quashie would
down.
have to move.
Quashie is the only January
Of the other players at the
signing who committed to
club, Antti Niemi and Kevin
a long term contract but,
Phillips are undoubtedly too talagain, he is a player of proven
ented to play for a Championship
Premiership quality.
side and would interest numerIf a Premiership club were
ous Premiership clubs given their
to come up with the required
quality.
Graeme Le Saux may have
one more season of top-flight
football in him and one of the
newly promoted clubs might
offer him that chance.
If Peter Crouch’s form continues and Saints do go down,
a club may be tempted to pick
him up for a cut price, given
Saints’ need to slash not only
their squad size but also their
wage bill.
If all of those players were
to leave, it would leave Saints
relying heavily on current fringe
players and rookies, such as
‘keeper Paul Smith and striker
Kenwyne Jones, to get Saints
promoted at the first attempt.
That squad may not be good
enough and if Saints were to
fail at their first season, more
of the bigger names, such as
Delap and Prutton, would have
to consider their futures.
One thing is certain; relegation would be catastrophic and
possibly irreparable.
...but relegation would spell mass exodus at St. Mary’s
Dave Firth
The five signings made by
Harry Redknapp in the January
transfer window have given
fans hope that Saints can avoid
the drop but what if they do go
down?
Which players in Saints’ squad
would be willing to play in the
Championship?
Which players would Saints
have to sell to cope with the
crippling financial repercussions
that accompany relegation?
Would the players left at the
club have sufficient quality to
bounce straight back?
These are questions that will
need to be addressed should the
unthinkable happen and Saints
finish in the bottom three.
It is difficult to see any of
Saints’ January acquisitions staying at the club if they do get
relegated.
Calum Davenport is a highly
rated centre-back with a number
of admirers, and his decision
to re-join Tottenham and play
Premiership football when his
loan spell ends would be an easy
one to make.
Henri Camara has already
refused to play in the
Championship with Wolves and
there is nothing to suggest he
would be willing to do so with
Saints.
Olivier Bernard is a left-sided
player used to battling for a
place in The Champions League
with Newcastle.
The 25 year-old would not be
willing to take such a considerable step down at this stage of
his career and, should Saints
go down, Bernard would not
extend his contract beyond the
end of the season.
Jamie Redknapp may stay on
given the first team opportunities available to him at St.
Mary’s, yet he is still a player
of considerable quality and if a
Premiership club were to offer
first team football, it is hard to
www.wessexscene.co.uk
wessex
SPORT
Sky no limit for Paragliders
Andrew Webster
Hitting the heights....paragliders enjoy their flying trip to the Isle of Wight
Many years have passed
since I was first overwhelmed
by the urge to fly. With age and
maturity, the closest I felt I could
come to actually flying like a
bird was through paragliding.
With a day of instruction and
paragliding organised by the Uni
Paragliding Club on the Isle of
Wight, I jumped at the chance
to have my first flying experience.
Upon arrival, we were greeted by the High-Adventure team
and after a short trip across the
island, we arrived at their headquarters.
With paperwork, a safety
briefing and equipment allocation out of the way, it was
straight up the hill to prepare for
our flights.
The morning of ground handling training was tedious but
vitally important. It felt satisfying, if a little daunting, to
accomplish some manner of
control over such a large kite.
We climbed a short way up
the training hill and looked out
over the island and across the
sea between the isle and the
mainland.
One of the H.A. instructors
boasted about how it was possible to get to the mainland if
you had enough height… but
perhaps not on our first day
though!
The hill hadn’t seemed very
high from the bottom, but
standing with your glider laid
out behind you, seconds away
from take-off, it had a mysterious rising effect.
A breeze blew up and leaning into the wind, the glider was
now hovering above me. I was
ready for take-off.
I took a few steps forward,
but as I did so, there was an
overwhelming tension in the
harness towards my right.
It didn’t take long to be completely pulled off balance, and
the glider collapsed into the side
of the hill.
Face down, flattened to the
ground by the weight of the
harness, I couldn’t help but
laugh at my situation.
However, if at first you don’t
succeed, try, try again and I
dusted myself off and was ready
to give it another go.
Second time around, I managed to get off the ground and
although the flight was a little
bumpy, the feeling of gliding
through the air was simply awesome.
We had several more straight
glides throughout the afternoon,
followed by lessons on how to
turn to the left and right.
With his multicoloured flying
suit and yellow tennis rackets,
H.A. instructor Phil guided us
to the bottom of the hill, giving
us left/right instructions all the
way down.
Apart from one head on collision with a gatepost, a great
day was had by all and I have
been well and truly bitten by the
paragliding bug. I cannot wait
for my next opportunity to get
into the sky!