University Gives Wednesday The Red Card
Transcription
University Gives Wednesday The Red Card
Matt Le Tissier - Saints legend SUSU Elections 2005 - Guide gives exclusive interview to this year’s candidates wessex March 3rd 2005 ISSUE 796 Features SCENE Peepshow’s David Mitchell on comedy, TV and getting a 2:2 Politics Kilroy-Silk: The future’s bright, but not orange Music Exclusive interview with The Futureheads Film Ocean’s Twelve, Meet the Fockers and more... University Gives Wednesday The Red Card Antonia White The University of Southampton has failed to keep its promise to students that Wednesday afternoons would be free of lectures. Well into the second semester, problems are still being encountered with the new time-tabling system. The problems produced as a www.bamuk.com Student Media Buyers 0845 1300 667 result of this new system have meant that many students have been left with inappropriate lecture and seminar rooms, inadequate time between teaching periods and Wednesday afternoons scheduled for study. Despite the intervention of the Students’ Union, various schools within the University are continuing to allot Wednesday afternoons as time available in which to teach. Although problems are slowly being resolved, schools such as Physics, Law and Social Sciences are still scheduling lectures at this time, even though the Students’ Union has lobbied for this period to be designated for sports and other extra-curricular activities. So why are some disci- plines continuing to clash with the agreement made between the Union and the University? According Pat Usher, DeputyDirector of Student Services, there are several reasons. As a result of a time-tabling error, one core module within the Physics department has been placed on a Wednesday afternoon. continued on page 2... www.wessexscene.co.uk News Page 2 continued from front page... Although the department do not currently intend on rescheduling this unit, they are questioning their students as to whether this is a problematic studying period. Unlike in previous years, the Faculty of Law has also scheduled teaching for this time, due to issues with staff availability. Although irreproachable, the inconvenience of such events is clear and the schools within the University are aware of this problem. The response of the department of Social Sciences, however, highlights a separate difficulty from those experienced by the Physics and Law departments. When asked why they had scheduled teaching between the hours of 12.50-1.35pm, the school replied that they were unaware of this being inclusive of students’ free time. This ‘free time’ is used by a substantial number of sporting clubs and societies. There are approximately 4,000 members of the sports clubs and 3,000 students are involved with separate societies. These figures show how nearly half of all of Southampton University students participate in student activities, yet several schools claim to be unaware of the importance of free Wednesday afternoons. Consequently, the question of when Wednesday recreational time begins is now significant. On this matter, Andy Wilson said, “the last lecture should end at twelve, with the afternoon starting at half twelve.” This break therefore allows adequate free time for those students following extra-curricular deadlines. The allocated time, however, has yet to be arranged, but negotiations will hopefully soon be underway. For the time being, 1pm seems to be the average finish, although Pat Usher hopes to change the current system in the long term and “rationalise the time of the teaching slots,” making life simpler for students. Unfortunately, such simplifications will not take place until the 2006/7 academic year, as the time-tabling information is already being programmed for 2005/6. Students who fall victim to the Wednesday afternoon saga are now forced to choose between their studies and their extra-curricular activities, a choice they should never have to make. Want to have your say? Email editor@soton.ac.uk International Students take British places at University James Hayward Prospective British students hoping to gain a place at university are facing rapidly growing competition from their European neighbours. Recently published figures in The Times suggest that university applications from the ten new member states are up by 79% on last year to 3427 applications. EU students are attracted by the high standards of excellence and facilities offered by British universities coupled with the fact that, unlike non-EU students in the UK, their tuition fees are exactly the same as those paid by home students. There are now concerns, that international students are beginning to stand a better chance of gaining a place at a British university than UK hopefuls. This comes after Oxford University announced its intention to cut International Students may stand a better chance of a place at a British university Oxford University cut undergraduate places for British students EU Applications increase by 79% in the last year Higher Education Funding Council want 27% more International Students by 2009 undergraduate places for British students and give more places to foreign students as part of a ‘vigorous programme of international recruitment’. This measure is an attempt to increase revenue for the University, which ,like many British universities, is faced with the growing problem of underfunding. This solution is likely to become common throughout all British universities. According to the BBC’s online news service ‘the Higher Education Funding Council for England found they wanted 26.7% more [students] from outside the UK over the next four years’. Despite this, applications from non EU students dropped this year by 5.3% due to ‘excessive charges for visa extensions imposed by the government in 2003’. A spokeswoman from the Vice-Chancellor’s and Secretary & Registrar’s Offices has told the Wessex Scene that ‘the University of Southampton’s projected student populations are consistent with this general trend’. She added, however, that ‘the increasing fraction of international students will not impact on the circumstances of UK or EU students’. Whether or not overseas students should be regarded as competition for UK undergraduates, then, remains debatable. www.wessexscene.co.uk Residents v Students Robbie Breen The relations between residents and students co-habiting in the same city is one that has always been put under enormous strain, as both struggle to accommodate the other successfully. While much emphasis is placed upon the invasion of students upon residents, there is another side to the story. It should be recognised that this is not just a problem affecting Southampton, but is a nationwide issue. While residents in Fallowfield, a district of Manchester, view the academic contingent as “dreadful”, they fail to appreciate the vast majority of well-behaved students, be they undergraduate, post- graduate or mature students. Students are now feeling the need to step out and speak up for themselves. Examples of these demonstrations have been noted in Belfast in particular. With students being dubbed as “hard hitting”, students at Queen’s University took to the streets to demonstrate. However, the protests soon escalated into full-scale riots. It appears a clear balance needs to be established between both residents and students, with mutual respect becoming of utmost importance. While residents may view students as invading their homes, it must not be overlooked that students generate £300 million to local economies per year. Hospital cuts may hurt students Gareth Hynes Southampton General Hospital has cut 100 jobs ina measure by the trust designed to bring its massive budget deficit under control. This deficit currently stands at £13 million and is part of a larger NHS shortfall of nearly £500 million for which new doctor contracts, waiting list targets and A&E treatment are being blamed. Some strategic health authorities are suffering with debts of up to £70 million. The Southampton University Hospitals NHS Trust has said 450 posts will need to go. 150 of these will come from cancelling contracts with private nursing agencies who supply nurses to plug any shortages within the NHS. 100 staff will be moved elsewhere, leaving 200 facing uncertainty. Of these, 100 jobs have now been cut. The trust has shut down two nurse-led units and cut 120 beds to bring its deficit under control. This follows on from the trust’s bid for foundation status being thwarted over the summer of last year due to a deficit of £24 million. First Year Student Numbers Rise James Corfield Over one million people started undergraduate courses in 2003/4, which was a first according to data released by the Higher Education Statistics Agency last month. In effect, the number of students starting undergraduate courses in 2003/4 rose by more than 30,000 on last year’s numbers. According to Barclay’s graduate survey, the average student debt is now £12,100, a 10% increase since last year but a 500% rise since 1995. If trends continue, Barclays predicts that in five years time the average student debt will amount to a staggering £33,700. Students spend £8 billion in an academic year: £2.4billion goes on rent, £330 million on course-related materials, £670 million on groceries At the time the trust pledged to resolve their “fiscal embarrassment” and reapply for foundation status while the latest moves looks set to try to achieve that. Mark Hackett, chief executive of the trust, tried to allay fears by saying the “ward reorganisation will not adversely affect patient care”. However, Southampton’s Unison branch secretary, David Prout, said, “at the time we were first notified around two months ago, as always, managers said it would not affect patient care. But of course it begs the ques- Universities Sell Education to the Global Market Antonia White and £1.49billion goes on drinking, eating out and going out. Are students living it up now, only to pay the price later? Helen Symons, Vice-President of the NUS, refutes this claim saying, ‘students are not in debt because they are wasting money on a social life; they are in debt because they don’t receive enough money to cover their costs - and by that I mean basic costs.’ Banks were criticised recently for their lending policies for students. Keith Tondeur, national director of Credit Action, believes students are ‘bombarded with offers of overdrafts, credit and store cards. It’s all too easy and all too tempting to say yes.’ As a result, most students can currently expect to spend the next 10 years of their life or longer paying off their debts. tion what are these people doing if they are not assisting with patient care?” He added, “you can’t lose these posts and it not make an impact.” Mr Hackett has, however, countered this by stating: “What we have been doing is working very closely with social services and the primary care trust to look at how we can change the way that services work. It’s quite clear that here we have about 100 patients who could be seen in other settings, closer to where they live and in more appropriate environments.” At a recent conference organised by the British Council, the Education Secretary, Charles Clarke, urged British higher education institutions to enter the global market. According to the Council, the funding provided by overseas students is worth £10.4 billion to the economy and in order to continue to prosper, Mr. Clarke is encouraging universities and colleges to accept an increasing number of international students. However, Mr. Clarke also noted that accepting more students from abroad is not enough to keep the UK in the global market. He urged that, in order to encourage more international students to study in Britain, colleges and universities “must sell education to the world” and take advantage of the global interest in learning the English language. He warned that “going global is not an option or just a marketing device – it is the only way forward.” Having over 2000 full-time international students from over 100 countries, Southampton is well-equipped with provisions for international students. As well as on-hand assistance from specific staff within the Students’ Union Advice and Information Centre, overseas students are also offered free English language lessons to improve their understanding. In addition to this, however, Southampton is one of the few universities in England which is a member of the Worldwide University Network (WUN). Founded in 2000, the WUN is a group of 16 research-led institutions from around the world, which formed to share their academic knowledge and encour- News in Brief Rebecca Twomey Fire in Halls Students at the University of Central Lancashire started this month with a big bang, having lost all of their belongings in a fire that swept through a hall of residence. More than 60 fire fighters battled with the flames at the hall in Preston. The fire, thought to be the result of a firework, swept through the roof timbers in the early hours of the morning. The fire is being treated as suspicious. No one was injured, but now 80 students are living in temporary accommodation provided. Cash for Brightest Students For A-Level students who achieve three A grades Manchester University is offering a £1,000 bursary per year. Those from low-income families will receive up to £5,000. A substantial number of bursaries will be in excess of the £2,700 maximum means-tested government grant. The bursaries are set to be in addition to the student loan. So for those students whose joint family income is more than £22,000 and who do not achieve the highest grade in all their subjects, the financial future looks grim. Spend Nothing Race Cambridge students are competing to travel as far as they can without spending any cash whatsoever. The thirty-nine competitors have just 36 hours to reach the furthest destination possible for free. The annual event is held to raise money for charity. Last year a student managed to reach Tokyo. Lucky Kit Kats Nestle have witnessed increased sales of the UK’s most popular chocolate bar in Japan. Kit Kat resemles the Japanese expression ‘kitto katsu’ which is used by students to wish each other luck before exams. It roughly translates as ‘I hope you will win.’ Nestle have now intorduced a new range of the chocolate including green tea flavour, passion fruit and lemon cheesecake. News Page 4 Anyone for a Pint of Chemistry? Beth Barker Long hours in the science lab need no longer ruin your social life and leave you with a severe Vitamin E deficiency. Now you can do your research whilst sitting in the pub! New technology developed right here at the University of Southampton allows researchers to monitor an experiment via a “smart phone”, which receives data sent from computers using special software enabling unrelated computer systems to talk to one another securely in real time. The computers are linked to sensors in the lab, which monitor factors including temperature, light levels, motion in the room, power status and door opening/ closing. The information can also be sent via the web, enabling experiments to be monitored around the world. This has already been tried and tested by one PhD student, Jamie Robinson, who was in Paris speaking at a conference about the technology. During a live web demo he noticed that the lab temperature was too high. Concerned about his experiment, he phoned the University, and sure enough, the air conditioning was broken. IBM, who developed the computer software in conjunction with the University, said that in the future it foresees completely automated labs. “In the next phase it will be possible to click a button on a web page or on a smart phone to turn something Expect to see the chemists at the bar on or off in the lab…with no graduate students in sight,” says IBM’s Dr Andy Stanford-Clark. This begs the question, is this actually a good thing? It seems strange that a university is working towards reducing the number of jobs that its students are doing their degree to get! I spoke to several chemistry students, including one who said, “scientific advancements are great, but not if it’s going to put me out of work!” Another was concerned about relying on computers to such an extent – “If we come to rely on this, and it crashes or develops a bug, months of work could be ruined”. Like all new technologies, this one could take some getting used to... in the meantime, mine’s a pint. Science Week comes to Southampton Chris Lane Fancy constructing a dinosaur out of cardboard? How does concocting stringy gunge from household chemicals grab you? These are just two of the many fun, and occasionally messy, options available to visitors to Southampton University between the 12th and 20th March. This is part of National Science Week, an annual project coordinated by the British Association for the Advancement of Science. SOC has been involved in the initiative, which aims to demystify science and encourage participation, since the department’s inception in 1995. Previous highlights of the Family Fun day have included the chance to meet one of Dr. Who’s Daleks, and an opportunity to get up close and personal with termites and ants. At the SOC, visitors were taken on tours of the aquarium, made fossils and dinosaurs, played with rock that bends, and discovered exactly how sea squirts got their name. This year’s exhibits will include a chance to see bioluminescence - produced by microscopic glow-in-the-dark algae - and lessons on how to identify marine animals by sound. Martin Marsters, organiser of SOC’s contribution to the proceedings, said he hoped that the event would “encourage a natural curiosity about a subject that is still relatively unknown”, pointing out that “12 men have walked on the moon, but only 2 have been to the bottom of the deep ocean.” A series of evening talks will be held at both the Boldrewood and SOC campuses throughout the week, and will include the science behind the Indian Ocean tsunami, and news from a drilling cruise in the Arctic. More than 1500 people attended the Boldrewood event last year, and more than 600 took part in the Ocean and Earth day. For more information, see: www. soc.soton.ac.uk. www.wessexscene.co.uk Art Available for All Looking at art and culture in and around Southampton University A Ripper of a Show Pop Music used for Art Exhibition Bored With Art? Walter Sickert ‘Drawing is the Thing’ Southampton City Art Gallery Until 20th March Free Craig Williams Harriet Wailling A couple of years ago the crime novelist Patricia Cornwell wrote a book claiming that she (and a forensic team) had successfully linked the artist Walter Sickert to the Camden Town murders of 1888. Sickert, she claimed, was Jack the Ripper. The book was controversial. Indeed, after its publication the claims were largely discredited, and yet, having caused such a furore, the rumours still abound. So, it was with this in mind that I went to the City Art Gallery’s new exhibition Walter Sickert: Drawing’s the Thing, to play detective, ready to spot a murderer behind the sketches. Yet when you enter this exhibition, you are faced, not with eerie scrawls of a murderer, but the delicate whisps of a pencil, fleetingly made and capturing, in the flickering of the stage lights, an Edwardian audience at the theatre; men in top hats, ladies in blouses and finery applauding with their eyes Walter Sickert raised to the stage. These moments, caught on palm-sized paper, are next to other, more carefully produced drawings on a grid and lead to the paintings for which Sickert is best known. Indeed, there is a whole display of the preparatory sketches and paintings for Sickert’s most accomplished painting Ennui or ‘boredom’. So lest boredom prevail for you this week, pop down to the gallery and discover a world set aside, not of a murderer, but of a man who was able to capture, in such an exceptional way, the gesture of a hand, or a smile on the lips. Art can be a bit of a taboo subject amongst the student collective. Either it is seen as a fun creative outlet, or a pretentious, high-class experience. I’m willing to bet that more of you have been to a gig recently than to an art gallery. It is because of this attitude that students at Wolverhampton University are staging an exhibition that ‘will feature music, art and photographs from the 1960s, along with interviewee recordings.’ They are also seeking out a little known local band from the era called ‘The Extreme’, and this shows that art does not have to be cold and disengaging, (which is how some may view ‘Modern Art’) but it can reflect upon another decade, attempting to make it more accessible, and perhaps more entertaining. This is not to say that art is inaccessible to you now, far from it. The John Hansard Gallery on the main University campus could be just the start of your renewed interest in the artistic values. A Frozen Fantasy Sleeping Beauty on ice The Imperial Ice Stars The Mayflower Until 20th February Jo Smith The Mayflower offered a week of sensational performance of ice dance in February, converting the stage into an arena for world-class ice-skating. The Moscow based theatre company included Southampton in part of their UK tour, illustrating the magical tale of Sleeping Beauty with stunning creativity. The Imperial Ice Stars brought 23 Olympic, World and European Championship Medallists to dance Tchaikovsky’s romance, first brought to the stage as a ballet in 1890 at the Marinski Theatre, St. Petersburg. Direction on the stage for the production of The Sleeping Beauty was magnificent, using the stars’ remarkable repertoire of stunts in an imaginative, and often humorous way. Stilts, swings, trapezes and flying fairies were among the tricks displayed between seamless scene switching, and the fantastic speed of the dancers on the ice stole nothing from their flawless synchronisation. Olympic Medallist Mandy Woetzel made a delightful Sleeping Beauty, and the effortless motion and control of Olga Sharoutenko as the Lilac Fairy was outstanding. Even the chilling performance of Black Fairy Carabosse played by Maria Borovikova exuded grace with every turn. The production was as expressive as it was colourful, lighting the ice stage with beautiful costumes and special effects. Fire, smoke, sound effects and truly convincing performances lent an atmosphere of exhilaration, and made an enchanting night out. If art continues to thrive, students from Southampton University in 2045 could be seeking out musicians to form an exhibit based upon our music tastes today. Let’s just hope Craig David doesn’t get invited! The Extreme Comment and Letters Page 6 What Price for Liberty? The Government’s latest anti-terrorist legislation will increase even further the powers of politicians to decide who gets locked up and for how long. It’s time for us to think about whether we value our freedom or our safety more, says Gareth Hynes. The government has recently put forward plans proposing what are being described as draconian measures to fight the threat of terror in the United Kingdom. These plans have arisen to replace current measures, introduced in the months following 9/11, which the Law Lords have ruled are disproportionate and discriminatory. The new legislation would give the Home Secretary the option of curtailing an individual’s freedoms if they were suspected of being involved in terrorist activities. It has provoked fierce attack from all sides of the political arena. The argument centres over the values of civil liberties versus the need for civil protection. It is argued by the government on the one side that exceptional threats call for exceptional measures. They say that the only way to protect our society in these risky times is to provide police and the security services with the tools they need to combat the threat. This threat is not only aimed at individual lives but at our society and nation’s values as a whole. Tony Blair himself has argued in support of the plans that his principal duty is to protect the Editor in Chief Laura Fewell security of the nation. Opponents, however, argue that fundamental civil liberties are being destroyed. They say that the measures put in the hands of the executive are those which should be reserved for the judiciary. Effectively, the same politicians who make the rules enforce the rules. Proponents argue that there would be various safeguards to prevent the abuse of this power, such as each suspect’s case being examined by a judge within seven days of the Home Secretary putting that suspect under house arrest. However, opponents claim Letters Editor Henry Palmer News Editor Rebecca Twomey Sports Editor David Firth Features Editor Martin Jenner Societies Editor Laurence Olding Sir, For a long time I’ve suspected that those of us Southampton University students who are based at the New College campus were looked down upon by other members of the student body. Now it seems that even the people who run the University are prejudiced against us! As you know, the current site of New College is being shut down and all the activites there are being transferred to the Highfield Campus. While this is good news for the situation sets too dangerous a precedent and can we trust a government to always act in our best interests and never to abuse its power? If the answer, as history would appear to suggest, is no, then separation of power between the executive and the judiciary must remain. It is difficult to know how one would feel should a terrorist attack occur in the UK. Perhaps we would look back and see the folly of not now accepting measures to protect us that would be used sparingly and under the watchful eye of the judiciary. However, with that attack imminent but not yet here it seems justified currently to think the priority should be given to the set of core values that defines our society and that differentiates ourselves from the terrorists. After all, it is only then that will we have something worth protecting. These new measures will, even if only slightly, erode those fundamental values. future New College students - it will give them the opportunity to mingle with more of our fellow students and will certainly make life easier for residents in Halls - the way in which New College is being shut down seems designed to make life as difficult as possible for current New College students. For instance, the contents of New College’s Library is being transferred to Highfield’s Hartley Library. No problem, you’d think, except that it’s impossible to find the books that have allegedly been taken to the Hartley, and no one at either campus seems to have a clue about how to locate what is sometimes crucial reading and research material! As if this wasn’t enough, there are also plenty of minor, irritating other things. The closure, without warning, of the campus shop and swimming pool have disadvantaged hundreds of students. Even our course tutors are confused, as they haven’t been given any information from the management about what is happening down here. Nobody in charge seems to care that we’re being put at a serious disadvantage academically and also in terms of facilities, but like I say, that seems to be indicative of the University’s general attitude to New College and it’s students. Perhaps eventually we will receive the respect we deserve from the university but for the time being are we supposed to just accept that we’re not even going to get the basic things that we need to complete our degrees? What do you think? Email your comments, letters and articles to editor@wessexscene. co.uk Bob Hoskins Sir, What is going on with lectures on Wednesday afternoons? Last term was an absolute nightmare - I play intra-mural football on a Wednesday afternoon and loads of my friends represent the University and intra-mural teams but we had lectures assigned at that time. We were promised that this term it would all be sorted out and that there’d be no more lectures when we had to play our sports. But I still have to attend some of my core modules at this time. It’s a complete cock-up, no mistake. Ollie Davis Do you have something to say? Write to us: editor@wessexscene.co.uk www.wessexscene.co.uk Elections Page 8 www.wessexscene.co.uk Elections Page 10 Name: Tom Kenward Position: VP Student Activities Clubs & Societies Membership SU Rugby Football Club 2002-2005, (Social Secretary 2004-05) Southampton University Ski and Snowboard race team 2002-03 Environmental Science Committee 2003-04 Southampton University Cricket Club 2004-05 Inter-Mural Sports Captain 2003-2004 Why am I good for the job? My role as a committee member, for both club and society, has improved my organisational skills and given me a valuable insight into the running of the AU and the demands of the student population. If elected, I intend to support the rescheduling of lectures from a Wednesday afternoon to ensure that everybody has an equal opportunity to participate in university social life. Moreover, I would ensure that all activities and events would operate in the best interests of University students and that all AU clubs and societies will benefit from my experience. I am certain that my enthusiasm and determination make me the ideal candidate for the position and will help me carry the reputation of the University to new levels. Competitions www.wessexscene.co.uk Cheese crowned ‘King of Toasties’ Is this the best job in the world? Ladies and gentlemen, ‘The King’ is back on campus and this time he’s even cheesier... Recently, National Toastie Day saw those generous folks from Kingsmill hit campus to hand Southampton University students FREE cheese toasties! As part of the fun, ‘The King’ set out to discover exactly which Toastie fillings get your juices flowing. Despite the weird and wonderful concoctions he found (from mars bars and hundreds & thousands to spaghetti hoops and maple syrup), good ol’ cheese came out on top! So, for the chance to win a toasted sandwich maker and take your taste-buds on a Kingsmill Toastie tour, answer the following question then email your answer, along with your name, address and postcode, to kingsmillsoton@yahoo.co.uk employees of the Promoter, the Wessex Scene and their agencies, and their immediate families. Only one entry per person. No purchase necessary. Q: Which toastie filling did “The King’ find to be the most popular among students? 6. For full terms and conditions please send an email stating your university to Lindsay.Sharman@campusgroup. co.uk Jimmy Bedford lives and works in his home town Lynchburg,Tennessee (population 361) and is the envy of all his colleagues, neighbours and fellow Americans. Why? Because Jimmy has one of the best jobs going - he is the Master Distiller and Chief Taster of Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey! Every single drop of Jack Daniel’s sold in the world is made in the tiny town of Lynchburg, which ironically remains a dry county to this day - whilst every drop is made there you can’t purchase any! Most of the locals live and work alongside Jimmy at the distillery, and it’s not uncommon to find generations of distillery workers who learnt their trade from their fathers! There have only been six Master Distillers since the distillery was registered in 1866 starting with Jack Daniel himself. Mr Jack used the motto “Every day we make it, we make it the very best we can”, and it is up to Jimmy Bedford to ensure that the highest standards set by Mr Jack are still adhered to today. We met up with Jimmy to find out about him, his lifestyle and favourite bars in the UK! Terms & Conditions: 1. The competition is only open to UK residents/undergraduates of the University Of Southampton, aged 18 years or over, excluding 2. There is one first prize of £25 of HMV vouchers. In the event that such a prize is not available for whatever reason, an alternative prize of equivalent value and quality will be substituted. No cash alternative. 3. The winner will be the person who has answered the question correctly and (in the event of there being two or more correct entries) is the first correct entry selected at random after the closing date for entries. 4. The closing date for receipt of entries is Monday 21st March. 5. Winners will be notified by email by Wednesday 23rd March. Promoter: Allied Bakeries, Fairfield Avenue, Staines, Middlesex TW18 4BA. Full name: James H Bedford (Jimmy) Age: 64 Do you have any children? One daughter, 34 years old, she is a teacher How long have you been Master Distiller for Jack Daniel’s? 16 years What was your first job? Supervision Trainee How did you come to be Master Distiller? I worked with the previous master distiller for 20 years Can you describe your typical working day? I check to make sure all is running well at the distillery and also spend a lot of time traveling round the world visiting all the Jack Daniel’s markets What is the best thing about being the Jack Daniel’s Master Distiller? Making a product that is enjoyed around the world And the worst? It’s all good! With the exception of Jack Daniel’s, what’s your favourite drink? A beer or glass of wine How do people react when they find out what you do for a living? They are fascinated by the fact that I work for Jack Daniel’s Where were the last three places you went on holiday? New York, Virginia Beach and Washington DC You recently visited London – what did you think of it? I really enjoy coming to the UK and think I could live here You must have had a drink or two - Can you recommend any good bars? Ronnie Scotts and Aura in Mayfair, London. Now you have met the man who makes it, for your chance to taste it and win a JD goody bag, simply answer the following question: Q: In which state can you find Lynchburg? Please email your answers to comms@soton. ac.uk. All entries must be 18 or over. Winners will be notified by email. Winner required to verify identity and age before receiving prize. “Your friends at Jack Daniel’s remind you to drink responsibly” WSX Page 12 Editorial I hope you’ve had a good few weeks and the exams are nothing more than a distant and unpleasant memory. In the meantime, of course, we’ve enjoyed (or been subjected to, in the case of all you singletons out there) Valentines Day and the allimportant Pancake Day. In the spirit of these holidays, then, comes Craig Williams with a few slightly more... exotic excuses for a party. Speaking of which, as the presence of Lennie Henry to my right shows, Red Nose Day is almost upon us again. Never fear, however - Kate Mallinder is here with a handful of suggestions on how to most effectively make a fool of yourself for charity. On top of all the other wonderful goodies for your delectation, we’ve also got something of an exclusive - an interview with David Mitchell, half of the genius-team behind Channel Four’s ‘Peep Show’. Skip over the page and see how Darren Richman coped with coming face-to-face with his idol. As you can see, we’ve had the decorators in and the newlook Wessex Scene is ready for action. I hope you all approve if you don’t, of course, feel free to write in and tell us about it! So, until next issue, have yourselves a good one... Martin Jenner Features Editor Martin_jenner@yahoo.co.uk Follow Your Nose What is there to say? It’s Lennie, and he’s got a funny face and one of those red things you see from time to time. You know what to do. Kate Mallinder Red Nose Day is drawing close again and getting involved couldn’t be simpler. If Lenny Henry or news readers in drag aren’t enough to persuade you to part with your cash on the eleventh of March, here are a few ideas of how you can help other people lose some pounds. 1. Buy a red nose. They are progressively getting wackier as the years go on and this year is no exception. They come complete with hair dye, face paints and a selection of stickers. They can be bought at Sainsburys and Oxfam for just £1. 2. Watch the scheduled show on the BBC and donate by telephone. thing, why not splash out and go for Spaghetti Hoops instead. 3. Buy the Little Britain special edition DVD. “The limited edition DVD is available from Monday 14 February in HMV stores, on their website, www.hmv.co.uk, as well as from the Red Nose Day online shop and BBC shops priced £4.99, with at least £3.40 from each copy sold going directly to Comic Relief.” You can’t say fairer than that! It’s certainly not a case of “Computer says ‘No’…” 5. Twenty four hour sponsored famine. Combine a detox with raising money for a very worthy cause. All in all a totally guilt free day! 4. Sit in a bath full of beans. Super saver beans are less then 10p per tin, so there really is no excuse! Or if beans aren’t your 6. Cross dressing party. Guys, what greater excuse will there be to dress up in fishnets and wander the streets of Southampton in Rocky Horror Style. Although, no heavy petting please! 7. Sponsored sports. If you’re part of a team, or just happen to know a whole group of people who exercise, convince them to take part in a sponsored match or demonstration. Both you and they get to have fun doing something you enjoy, and make some money for charity too! Note: Can be combined with point 6 for hilarious results. However you want to donate or raise funds they will be greatly received. So whether you want to sit in a bath of beans or dress up like a girl, getting involved can be really fun and all money raised goes to great causes. Red Nose Day helps people of all generations in this country as well as Africa by allowing many charities to benefit from your kindness. If you would like information or more ideas for events the website is www.rednoseday. com. Enjoy! www.wessexscene.co.uk NME RIP? Craig Williams This is a bit reminiscent of ‘Two Minutes Hate’, so excuse me while I rant and rave. It’s been a long time since I bought a copy of NME, and I’m sure as hell not going to buck that trend any time soon. Why? Well, far from being music journalism, it’s attempting to appeal to a far more mainstream audience, and by mainstream, I mean anyone who can read. Put simply, it’s lost the plot entirely. Firstly, the declaration of Pete Doherty as the 2004 Winner of the Cool List (as if the concept of a Cool List isn’t Smash Hits enough) is ludicrous, as yes, I can see that he is an addict and needs help, but NME (and most King David: Darren Richman Meeting a hero is never an easy experience. Will they like me? Will I inadvertently offend them? Will I come across too eager? Will I not come across eager enough? Naturally, for someone like Michael Jackson, a lifetime of adoration ensures he knows how to deal with such an obsessive. David Mitchell, however, is probably not quite as accustomed to such behaviour. A deranged, plastic, child-loving freak he may not be. A genius, however, he is. My initials fears are immediately dispelled within seconds of his arrival in the North London pub at which we have agreed to meet. “I’m sorry I’m late” he begins, with an absolute sincerity that is heart-warming considering he has entered a mere two minutes after our proposed meeting time. But, then again, sincerity is something that has punctuated Mitchell’s work from radio sketch shows to his most acclaimed role, that of Mark the loveable loser in Channel 4’s Peep Show. His obsession with writing comedy, though, began way back in his schooldays. “I always felt that doing a joke was the cleverest thing. I would intrinsically prefer a parody of something to the actual thing itself” Mitchell proffers as an explanation for his interest. “At school a group of us swotty, actory types wrote reams and reams of sketches. With characteristic self-deprecation he adds, “we completely failed to put on a show.” At Cambridge there would be no such disappointment. After meeting Robert Webb in his first year (Webb’s second), the pair formed a comedy partnership that his endured to this day. As part of the prestigious Cambridge footlights (past performers include Peter Cook, John Cleese and Stephen Fry), Mitchell and Webb delighted in being part of a society that was “just about making up comedy. It wasn’t the serious play your drama teacher at school wanted to do, it was just about stupid jokes.” Given the fact that Mitchell became the President of the Cambridge Footlights, his work, somewhat inevitably, suffered. Despite having been a selfconfessed “swot” at school, Mitchell scraped a 2.2. in history after tremendous cramming in the weeks leading up to his final exams. He explains, “out of comedy, drinking and history I could have done any two. And I didn’t choose to do comedy and history.” Having left university, he continued to make waves at the Edinburgh Fringe with his and Robert’s two-man shows. Eventually justice prevailed and the pair landed coveted writing positions for both Armstrong and Miller and Big Train. The duo made their first foray in front of the camera with the BBC2 sketch show Bruiser, for which they also wrote material. Ricky Gervais was involved in the writing of this programme and has been incredibly supportive to the double act to this day, even declaring Peep Show one of his favourite comedies of recent years. Mitchell returns the favour with his apt description of The Office as “perfect.” The pair then wrote and performed in The Mitchell and Webb Situation. Produced for music journalism) seems intent on building these people up until they self destruct. The glorification of their music would be fair enough, but they consistently want to find the next Kurt Cobain – Craig Nichols failed to fully self-destruct, and now they seem to want Pete Doherty to take the mantle. But it’s not this desire of focusing on the image, rather than the music that’s prompted me to write this, as image is necessary, but it should be secondary to the actual music. However, I think NME’s massmarket appeal to the rebellious teenyboppers is epitomised by this plea, found on NME.com, ‘Ever slow-danced with Mike Skinner? Snogged Flaming Lips? NME wants to hear your stories…’ Is this for music fans, or those with a Heat magazine the small sky channel, Play UK, what the series lacked in budget, it made up for in magnificent material. A riotous show far superior to the vastly overrated Little Britain, this comedy gem surely stands as perhaps the greatest forgotten sketch show of modern times. Mitchell is typically levelheaded with regards its status, “I’m more proud of the way it turned out than annoyed that it was only aired on a small channel.” Peep Show was to receive no such indignity. The Channel 4 sitcom, which just concluded its second series, was written by Jesse Armstrong and Sam Bain, two writers whom Mitchell and Webb had worked with on an ill-fated group writing experiment. From these ashes, Armstrong and Bain developed a good ear for lines they felt their friends could utter. The series revolves around two flatmates, Jeremy and Mark, using POV camera angles and internal monologues to accompany the dark humour. “I empathise with Mark and enjoy playing him” he explains, “I agree with many of his opinions. And, to be fair, at least he knows what he wants in terms of his love life. In his own odd way, at least Sophie knows Mark likes him. I’ve been in so many situations when I’ve just said nothing to someone I’ve fancied.” On a more positive note, the day before our meeting, it emerges, Peep Show was commissioned for a third series. What will the four central forces surrounding the show do first I enquire? “I imagine we’ll get drunk” Comedy duo David Mitchell and Robert Webb. looks like and his advice for comes the response. Mitchell claims watching new aspiring comics is simple, “just write what makes you laugh. comedy to be very stressful. “When it’s bad it annoys me, Oh, and practically speaking, do Edinburgh.” when it’s good it terrifies me.” And so, after a couple of Despite this, he delights in enthusing about his favourite pints, and a couple of hours whiled away, our illuminating programmes. “I’m Alan Partridge, The comedy chat must come to an Office, Monty Python.” He end. When asked to name his pauses before considering, “And there must be a special comedy idols, Mitchell immediplace in comedy heaven for The ately listed Milligan, Sellers and Cook. The latter choice got me Simpsons.” Up next is a second series of thinking. Member of the Cambridge That Mitchell and Webb Sound for Radio 4 which is being writ- Footlights. One half of a double ten and recorded over the com- act primarily interested in sketch comedy. Witty. Intelligent. ing weeks. Beyond that, he says “I’d love Utterly devoted to his craft. to write a novel but I haven’t Reminds me of someone. Not that David Mitchell would got an idea for one. I don’t even know what an idea for one ever dare proclaim himself the Peter Cook of his generation. In looks like.” He does, however, know his own words, “I just want to what a good comedy sketch be on telly doing jokes.” fascination? For reasons unknown, NME sent me a free copy of their magazine last year, and I still couldn’t scan through it more than once. I used to be a weekly reader, but surely the time has come for it to either become a monthly magazine and regain some quality, or for it to be put to pasture. Maybe ‘The Edge’ could give them a few ideas… An interview with star of the “Peep Show”, David Mitchell Features Page 14 The nature of Truth Mars vs Venus all over again I suppose I should have expected nothing less, but I still always feel a cold apprehension when the word ‘truth’ is presented in a group’s promotional material as an immutable constant independent from rational justification, as witnessed in the Christian Union’s activities week. Why apprehension? Because it is a sign that a new style of religious thinking, distinguished by a cynical and calculating marketing approach but retaining all the moral and intellectual idiocy of its predecessors – as witnessed in America with the resurgence of the religious right and the recent furore over the Jerry Springer opera – is becoming more prevalent here. This simply seeks to exploit the insidious and incredibly damaging effect commercial advertising has had on mass culture and the value judgements of people living in it. This was always going to be inevitable - words are now so cheap that we no longer listen to them, forcing ever more aggressive use of language in order to get the intended message across, the consistent devaluation of the complexity of words and their meanings. But I can try to resist it, by exile if I must. How else could I feel when a group eager to showcase their perceived intimacy with ‘truth’ uses the word so casually? How can a group not feel that by using a word like truth with such profligacy, they have demonstrated the doubtfulness of their possession of it? It is more than a little ironic that the Christian Union focused around the idea of truth, given the fundamental dishonesty displayed in their recent thinking and activities. Dishonest to themselves, for the more time they have spent talking about their relationship with Jesus, the less time they seem have spent in actually acting on His tenets. Dishonest to the students they are attempting to convert, too, for their prescriptive judgements on the intelligence and lifestyle choices of students were telling. Instead of hawking bettabuy hot chocolate and cheese toasties mixed with vacuous pseudo-debates (‘do Christians have the best sex?’, ‘Is death fatal?’, ‘text a prayer’ etc) in a painful attempt to patronise students perfectly capable of making their own intellectual choices. perhaps it might have been more appropriate to lead by example and try to help those in more direct need of aid. The inherent hypocrisy of the CU attempting to lecture me on the moral implications of God’s love while at the same time wilfully ignoring them is quite interesting. In effect, all they have achieved by attempting to convert me in this manner is to pervert themselves. I admit an essential distrust of the theological basis of evangelism, especially the evangelism which the CU seems particularly keen on, but I have seen little so far in the way of evidence to lure a genuinely open mind. Southampton University has one of the largest Christian Union memberships among students, but simultaneously one of the most apathetic student bodies in the country. Although the association between the two is an unfair one, I’m not sure it’s entirely down to co-incidence either. I went to a demo in London the other weekend, I didn’t see many students from Southampton come up with me. I went to the ESF last autumn – not many Southampton students there either, and I’m willing to bet that I won’t see many at the G8 protest in Gleneagles over the summer. Political activism, affecting social change to improve lives all over the world, seems not to appeal. Although I’m not convinced activism works, it’s still better than nothing. A friend of mine lives with some CU members, and apparently they won’t give money or time to any charity not directly associated with a Christian faith. The idea that charity can exist for charity’s sake – altruism in its purest form, and surely what Christianity is all about – seems to have evaded them. It would seem, then, that the CU’s misguided focus is only a symptom of a much bigger malaise, and it is certainly not responsible for it. Ultimately, they are as much at its mercy as anyone or anything else. I hope that those reading this won’t dismiss it out of hand, but instead look inside themselves to see if what I say is true. Even faith is not above personal scrutiny and rational analysis, after all. So whatever you believe, perhaps it’s worth checking you haven’t stepped off course. Laura Armstrong For the majority of students embarking on their second year at university and making the move from halls to houses, this change will have been a favourable one. In spite of the token dripping tap, missing drawer or deafeningly loud washing machine that most houses possess, they also provide a friendlier atmosphere and a larger dose of freedom. However, in the comparison between student houses the similarities often end there. Careful research has shown that a house of six girls and a house of eight boys, for example, are about as alike as Venus and Mars. The differences between these case studies become obvious as soon as you enter either building - while the boys’ corridor is cluttered with bikes, the girls’ corridor is an assault course of washing lines and wet clothes – the effect of throwing together six extensive wardrobes. Further into the houses you are met with further differences - in one living room a dartboard, in the other a life-size Brad Pitt poster. The mess in each room is also distinctly characteristic. While the boys’ mess can include entire traffic lights and a lost looking rabbit, the girls’ is more likely to consist of the remains of a botched attempt at making chocolate fondue. However, by far the most noticeable distinction between the two houses concerns the atmosphere in each. For example, it is impossible to avoid a strong spirit of competition amongst the boys that can extend to anything from cooking ability to monopoly. The living room boasts no less than eight playstations, used for a formal league of Pro Evolution Soccer that is carefully mapped out with spreadsheets. By comparison, the only competition in the girls’ house tends to revolve around the availability of mirrors. There is no need to compete over who is using the hair straighteners, as there are six pairs - obviously used for purposes of heating, and not even remotely connected to vanity. In the comparison between these two houses, it becomes obvious that the experiences of each couldn’t be further apart, and that despite the stereotypes every student house is different. Therefore, to avoid dramatic controversy, the verdict of the comparison has to be that neither is better than the other, only better suited to different people. It is also worth pointing out that opposites attract - as long as some opposites stay away from the straighteners of the others. A Hair of the Morning After... mates wrote on your forehead in indelible ink last night and also helps to cover up the ‘I drank a lot last night’ look on your face. 2.Paracetamol – this provides quick pain relief. Wait until completely sober, otherwise will make you more drunk. 3.Plasters – these will cunningly cover up the cuts you got from falling in a bush on the way home and will help your feet recover from the beautiful but painful shoes you wore the night before. Contrary to popular belief, closing your eyes doesn’t make the room stop spinning. It just keeps on going without you... Madeleine Binne The supposed cure for a hangover is to keep drinking more alcohol, so by this logic the majority of university students should be alcoholics by now. The thing about drinking is that ultimately it is a lot of fun (okay so maybe not that fun when you wake up next to an ogre or in a different county) but it’s the spontaneity and excitement of drinking that makes it the average students’ favourite hobby. Although the real cure to a painful hangover is not to drink too much in the first place, speaking from experience and careful observation of others this rarely happens. So after a crazy night of drinking and silly dancing, possibly falling over lots and waking up feeling like a gorilla that’s just been hit on the head with a sledgehammer, what is the best way to get you back to your usual self? Here are 5 top tips to survive even the worst hangover: 1.Paperbag – available from most fruit and veg shop. This essential item allows you to go to lectures without people noticing the obscene messages your 4.Sleep – preferably in a big comfy bed. Remember to leave a sign saying ‘fragile, please be quiet’ on your door and hopefully at least one person will be a bit quieter to aid you getting to sleep. Alternatively try ear plugs. 5.Food – anything you can find in large quantities; This will soak up the alcohol. Don’t have too much though because then you’ll have a stomach ache as well as a pounding headache to deal with. So have a good time, use the ancient Spanish philosophy of ‘siesta, fiesta’ whereby you party lots and sleep lots... Oh, and you could go to some lectures from time to time, too. www.wessexscene.co.uk Eighties Children’s Television - a whole new universe of weirdness. Different ways to pass the year Craig Williams Button Moon: Tribute to the drug consumption of childrens’ TV execs during the Eighties, or glorious celebration of surrealism? Claire Sinka They don’t make them like they used to. Jake of the Tweenies might have a Mohican, but it’s not like he frequents a button in outer space or turns superhero when he eats a banana, is it? What else could I be talking about than the bizarre creations that made up children’s television of the 1980’s. Don’t get me wrong, today’s shows have their moments, but they’re just never going to be any match for the shows of our childhood. The problem these days is that they all try too hard to be educational, whereas the only aim of the television entertainment of our era appeared to be to warp our minds completely. Mr Benn is one of the main offenders, comprising of a middle-aged man with a penchant for dressing up. The changing room was a mysterious gateway to another world, which allowed Mr Benn to experience whatever era he wished, simply by donning the appropriate costume. And I think the effect that this show has had on our generation is evident in every student in the country. Did somebody say Cowboys and Indians pubcrawl? We’re trawling the charity shops of Portswood for the cut-price Mr Benn experience before you can say “relive your childhood fantasies”, although I don’t recall the ‘Pimps and Hoes’ episode. If Mr Benn wasn’t your hero, then maybe Bananaman or Super Ted was? One was about a schoolboy called Eric whose eating of some fruit enables him to save the world, and the other of a disregarded teddy bear, who is rescued by some dude called Spotty and is suddenly equally capable of saving the world. With these two on the case, we were in safe hands. I have a few questions, though; out of all the fruits, why a banana? And exactly what kind of creature was Spotty? Even banana-obsessed superheroes were a bit conventional, however, by eighties standards. What about a family made out of kitchen implements that enjoy visiting a Button? Ah, Button Moon, arguably one of most surreal shows ever to be made. It featured spacetravelling characters with spoons for hands, mops for hair and eggcups for bodies, hanging out below Blanket sky, watching the Umbrella Ballet… It only got stranger from there. But one of the shows I remember liking most, is one that I find few people have ever head of; the mighty Stoppit and Tidy Up. Surely created by a despairing mother, it featured the title characters along with others such as Go-To-Bed, Comb-YourHair, Eat-Your-Greens and the Big-Bad-I-Said-No! There really is no explaining what entertains the mind of a child, and with each episode only lasting 5 minutes you were never quite sure whether it really happened, or if you imagined it. All things considered, us children were subjected to some potentially mind-twisting stuff. Perhaps somebody should start looking for correlation between the quantities of hallucinogenic drugs consumed and the rate of children’s television production of the 80’s. It would certainly explain a lot. Valentine’s Day has been and gone. Did you enjoy it? Miss it? Either way, it can be seen as an event to make money out of your affection for that special person in your life, or one that gives you the opportunity to show how much you care. But while Valentine’s Day is a good occasion for the romantics among you, surely there needs to be more, well, humorous celebrations that are brought to light. For example, who wouldn’t be interested in a mass celebration for National Pie Day? (January 23rd) If we are supposed to be an obese nation, here would be our chance to prove it. Now most of these events were invented in America, such as the rather worrying ‘Dress up your Pet’ day, but there are many other fun times to be had. Some are truly bizarre, and therefore should strike a chord with students, like ‘National Kazoo Day’ (January 28th) and ‘National Backwards Day’ (January 31st). If you don’t want to wait a year to take part in those, here are some you could organise a party around (as if you need an excuse!) February 27th – Polar Bear Day April 6th – Jump Over Things Day May 14th – Dance Like a Chicken Day June 2nd – Yell “fudge” at the Cobras in North America Day (Leave this one to the Americans) September 19th – Talk Like a Pirate Day October 1st – Scare a Friend Day November 9th – Lost Sock Memorial Day There are many more ‘special’ days to be found on the Internet, so if you were bored by Valentine’s Day, try to spread the word of these lesser-known celebrations. The Idiot’s Guide to Flirting Madeleine Binnie Flirting is a complicated task that takes both subtlety and nerve. Too much flirting can lead to awkwardness if the recipient doesn’t feel the same way but too little will mean that your attempts at affection are not noticed. Batting your eyelids at a certain someone is all well and good, but if you really want them to know that you like them and find out how they feel in return, remember to reach a happy medium in both conversation and body language. For example gently touching their arm to emphasise a point in conversation will seem both natural and flirty without being over the top. The important thing to remember about flirting is that it comes in many forms and can mean nothing more than friendship rather than a relationship if done in the right way. Flirting is also a sign of possession; couples often flirt subconsciously in public as both a sign of affection and a warning to others that they are an item. The key to successful flirting is making the other person feel comfortable with the fact that you are both outwardly showing affection in public. Signs that the other person is uncomfortable can include lack of eye contact, fidgeting and the mentioning of attention from other women/men. At the end of the day flirting is normally done without the people concerned realising and this is why outsiders often mention it before the flirters have even realised what they have been doing. If the flirting becomes consistent and both parties are single then it is probably a good idea to tentatively mention the idea of being more than friends. If said in the right tone even if the other flirter does not feel the same way there is no reason why you can’t simply enjoy being ‘flirty friends’. So have fun and get flirting! Societies Page 16 Editorial The Bridge hosts national comedy competition Paul Teed Laurence Olding I hope the new semester is treating you well so far; ‘semester’, a term that always strikes me as being horribly Americanised. This month we’ve got articles from the Comedy Club, The Sri Lankan Society as well as a preview of a forthcoming concert that sees three Southampton choirs joining together in harmony amongst others. If you would like to contribue to this section for the next issue please email articles to me as soon as possible at lo402@soton.ac.uk. I hope you like the new design of these pages but if you have any suggestions or criticisms send them through to the same address. On Wednesday 9th February, the SUSU’s Bridge Bar hosted the South West regional heats of the Laughing Horse National Comedy Competition. The evening consisted of eight acts, with the top two performers going through to the quarter-finals of the competition, getting a chance to win a 600 pound prize in the final. The comedians had to impress a panel made up of SU President, the show manager of Southampton Jongleurs comedy club, Phil Brieriey, and entertainments editor at the Southampton Daily Echo, Noel Davies. Four of the acts were Southampton University students, Luke Catterson, Owen Reed-Beadle, Darren Richmond and Glyn Richards, who have all performed at various Southampton University Comedy Club events. The standard of comedy tended to be correlated with the experience of the comedians, and those that were least favoured by the judges were the acts with the least number of gigs under their belt. In contrast, it was the more animated delivery of the more confident acts that allowed the audience and judges to appreciate the nuances of their humour. The intimate atmosphere of the venue gave the event a cosy and informal air, and the audience seemed to show a great respect for the standard of performances, aware that none of the acts were professional comedians. The best of the non-student comedians was James Everett, who came in 3rd place, despite it only being his 5th gig. He talked about his strange experiences growing up in “inbred” Devon, using Eminem lyrics and Karate Kid references to describe a fight he had with his brother-in law, who took offence to him ‘eyeing up’ his wife. Second place went to Southampton University student Darren Richmond who gave a refreshingly different monologue sketch posing as headmaster Camber Hesketh, speaking in a school assembly. His pupils (the audience) were subjected to tales of wartime experiences in Saigon, and propositions for the new academic year, characterized by hints of sarcasm and caustic satire towards public school culture and their idiosyncratic headmasters. The winner of the event was Glyn Richards, President of Southampton University Comedy Club. Glyn won by a considerable margin, and was a great act to finish the evening. His (unrepeatable) gags about sexual experiences, clever wordplays, and spontaneous audience interaction were enough to win over both the audience and the judges. Both Glyn and Darren will now go through to the quarter finals of the competition. Above all, the competition gave the impression that we were witnessing the ‘grass roots’ of comedy, with the potential for greater things to come. Student comedy is only just finding its feet in Southampton, and the Southampton University Comedy Club is always looking for people interested in doing stand-up or script writing for sketches or radio. If you are interested in getting involved, please e-mail comclub@soton.ac.uk. was on the 10th of September 2001. Championed by Classic FM, The Armed Man has captured the imagination of music lovers everywhere to become a bestselling CD and one of the most performed choral works of the moment. If you fancy an evening listening to some of the best voic- es Southampton can offer then come down to the Guildhall on Saturday 12th March at 7.30pm. The Cube Three Soton choirs together in concert pays out! John Coe Laurence Olding Following countless rebrands, the Wednesday Cube night has finally gone back to a more traditional ‘AU night’ style. Gone is the free entry, replaced by a £1 entrance fee aimed at benefiting clubs and societies further. Once the pound has been paid, society members can mention their club and get a share of the entrance fee diverted into their accounts. Though some have bemoaned the return of an entrance fee, it should alleviate the financial burden of some of the more hard-up societies and encourage all societies to make use of the Cube’s multi-million pound facilities that opened just a few years ago. Time will tell whether this incarnation of the Wednesday night ‘brand’ will be successful, and will build on the successes of the relatively popular ‘Hey Ewe’ formula. Three Southampton choirs will come together on Saturday 12th March at 7:30pm for a concert at Southampton Guildhall. The Southampton University Phil and the Southampton Philharmonic Choir will be joined by the Southampton Youth Choir. They will be accompanied by the thoughtful tones of the New London Sinfonia and conducted by the exuberant David Gibson. The concert will include two popular orchestral works alongside two very accessible contemporary works. One of these pieces is The Kestrel Road, a song-cycle for chorus and piano. This is a new work by Sir Peter Maxwell Davies, commissioned for his 70th birthday. Sir Maxwell-Davies lives in the Orkney Islands where he finds much of the inspiration for his music. In complete contrast will be Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto No. 1, to be performed by the New London Sinfonia and up-and-coming young pianist Martin Sturfält. With its dramatic opening and rich melodies, it is possibly the most popular piano concert in the world. We will also be performing Brahms’ tongue-in-cheek Academic Festival Overture. This piece is based entirely on German student songs which celebrate the less intellectual sides of student life and the work ends with a rousing choral section. No doubt there will be lots of ‘less intellectual’ things which everyone can find familiar in this piece! The highlight of the programme will be a profoundly moving suite for choir and orchestra from Karl Jenkins’ The Armed Man: A Mass for Peace. Karl Jenkins, former member of the 1970s progressive rock bank Soft Machine, turned to writing classical music in the 1990s. The mass was written to mark the passing of the 20th century, “the most war-torn and destructive century in human history”, and looked ahead with hope for a peaceful new millennium, although notably the CD release Getting ready for the Armed Man Ticket price reductions for students! Telephone the box office on 023 8063 2601 or buy your tickets on the door. Support the Tsunami Appeal with the Sri Lankan Society Jayashanki Perera and Nilika Perera ‘All I saw was a big wall of water heading towards our train. Within two minutes the carriage I was in filled with water. I managed to climb atop the carriage, only to realise that there was a second wave heading my way.’ This is an excerpt from a typical eye witness account you would hear from the survivors of the Tsunami waves which struck the coastal belt of Sri Lanka on the 26th of December 2004. The 30 foot killer waves were the result of an earthquake in the seabed off Sumatra, Indonesia. The true scale of the tragedy became apparent in the aftermath of the Tsunami, with the death toll rising by the minute. People were searching amongst the rubble not for their possessions, but for their loved ones or a mere photograph in memory of the deceased. In Sri Lanka, the death toll stands at nearly 40,000 at present count while more than two million people have been left homeless, their livelihood destroyed. A vast number of inhabitants of the coastal areas have lost their relatives and thousands of children have been orphaned in the wake of the disaster. It was heartening to see the overwhelming support flowing into the country from all quarters, be it local or international. Tourists and locals from all around Sri Lanka cumulated their efforts to assist the people of the devastated areas in numerous ways. Although the initial stages of rescuing people, attending to survivors, burying the dead, setting up adequate relief camps for the displaced and disease management have come to a close in Sri Lanka, there is still a lot to be done in terms of reconstruction and rehabilitation. These long term tasks include www.wessexscene.co.uk the construction and renovation of houses, schools, hospitals, public buildings, motorways and railway tracks as well as the rejuvenation of affected industries such as the tourist and fishing industries. Being a developing country, Sri Lanka is clearly unable to successfully cope with the enormity of the task at hand. Whilst being grateful for the unprecedented amount of international aid it has received, Sri Lanka still needs a mammoth amount of global assistance to deal with the situation competently. The Sri Lankan Society has organised many events to further this cause. Students have helped us by participating in the numerous charity events we have organised and by donating clothes and other basic necessities. The Southampton University Sri Lankan Society has recently held its annual ‘Charity Dinner Dance’ on the 26th of February, 7pm onwards, in the Glen Eyre Main Dining Hall. The event included traditional games, a cultural and fashion show, a raffle draw, Sri Lankan dinner and a variety of music with a DJ afterwards. All proceeds went towards providing medical aid to the areas affected by the tsunami in Sri Lanka. Tickets for the event are available by email: srilanka@soton.ac.uk or via telephone: 077771713033 or 07771572787. Lib Dems welcome MEP and PPC for Eastleigh Laurence Olding and Alex Bazin The Liberal Democrat Society and the Debating Society are presenting an evening with Chris Huhne MEP on 24 February. Mr Huhne is currently Member of the European Parliament representing SouthEast England, a columnist for the Economist, and was formerly the Business & City Editor for the Independent. On the evening there will be a debate on ‘Globalisation: Threat or Opportunity?’ This parliamentary-style debate will be followed by a brief question and answer session. All are welcome, even if you are not a member of either society, and the event will be free. The evening will start from 7:45pm in the Small Meeting Room, level one of the Students’ Union. The event marks the first of a series of seminars organised by the Liberal Democrat Society as well as a continuation of Debating Society’s guest speaker events, more of which are to follow in the coming months. Visit www.soton.ac.uk/~debating for more information. Chris Huhne MEP, who is appearing at the University on Thursday 24 February Politics Page 18 Editorial The future’s not orange Henry Palmer Laurence Olding With a general election looming, coupled with the emergence of political presence at the University, exemplified by the re-establishment of Labour Club a year after its disbandment and the Liberal Democrats, not seen on campus for perhaps a decade, the time seemed right to start a Political section in the new-look Wessex Scene. This section aims to provide a balance of political opinion, this issue voicing opinions from various sides. It is always heartening to know that there are politicians out there who refuse to be bound by the party whip, who are brave enough to stand up for what they believe in and vote against their party or resign from office, like Michael Heseltine. An even rarer breed is that type of politician who is willing to leave altogether their particular party to follow their conviction that the party is wrong about an issue. George Galloway and Paul Marsden were Labour MPs who stood up for what they believed in and were cut down by the party machine, victims of their own bravery. One man in particular seems particularly determined not to be bound by the strictures of party discipline. A man who has left not one, but two, large political parties when he felt that they were out of touch with truth, decency and honesty. His name? Robert Kilroy-Silk. With the founding of Veritas at the tail-end of last year, the permatanned Kilroy-Silk began what he hoped would be the third chapter in his political career. Despite his renunciation of first the Labour and then the UKIP whip, one would be very hard-pressed to apply an adjective like “brave”, “honest”, “truthful” or even “decent human being” to the orangeskinned, silver-haired one. Political expediency, casual racism (the branding of Arabs as “limb-amputators and women- repressors” and the demonisation of asylum seekers) and plain creepiness seem to be Kilroy-Silk’s only guiding principles. Fortunately there is little chance of him furthering his political ambitions. With the right-wing of the political spectrum consisting of the BNP, UKIP, Veritas and myriad other crazies, it seems unlikely that there will be a large enough concentration of votes for anyone to the right of the Tories to prosper. It is also worth remembering that despite the rabid persecution of asylum seekers, Muslims and liberals by the national press there are still intelligent. There may yet be hope for him. As John Prescott proved when he punched the egg-flinging farmer Craig Evans in 2001, voters love nothing more than a politician who can give as good as they get, and Kilroy-Silk seems to be able to do this. The Veritas leader was accosted in December last year by a protester who emptied a bucket of slurry over Kilroy-Silk’s head, just before his appearance on a Radio 4 panel show. An irate Kilroy-Silk pursued the muck-slinger down the street shouting “If you want s**t, I’ll give you some s**t!” One can only presume that he forced the poor bloke to listen while he recited the whole of the Veritas election manifesto. It’s an amusing vignette about a horrible character, and hopefully, the only notable thing we’ll remember the odious little creep for in a few year’s time. Prime Minister Tony Blair and Chancellor of the Exchequer, Gordon Brown have laid out as part of their plans for the future of the UK as a leader in international research. In response to this the Aldwych Group, the Students’ Unions of the Russell Group Universities, and the National Union of Students arranged to come together in London on Wednesday 23rd February to make their voices and opinions heard. The day started with a picket outside the Home Office. Some Scottish sources predicted over 300 students expressing their displeasure. Only 30 were around, but their sentiment was still felt. The latter half of the day was spent in the Palace of Westminster lobbying MPs. The VP Education, Jonathan Walsh, and the Men’s Officer, Andrew Caldwell joined Students’ Union Officers from as far afoot as Glasgow and Cardiff to make their message heard. MP Anne Campbell was on hand to speak with Union representatives about EDM 281, an Early Day Motion which she has put forward. The EDM calls for international students to be exempt for these renewal charges the same way they are exempt for council tax. Over 140 MPs had signed it so far, and the aim of the lobbying was to increase that number. The SUSU representatives managed to speak with 4 MPs, Rt Hon John Denham MP (Southampton, Itchen), Mr Mark Oaten MP (Winchester), Sandra Gidley MP (Romsey), and Mr David Rendel MP (Newbury). Mr Denham said that he agreed that there was a problem for some students with being able to pay for the renewals, but dismissed the EDM. Mr Oaten completely agreed with the EDM and had signed it earlier. Miss Gidley, after discussion with the Southampton delegation, agreed to sign the EDM, as well as writing to the Minister, and asking her party, the Liberal Democrats, to create a party line on the subject. Mr Rendel, the Liberal Democrats’ Spokesman for Education agreed with the EDM and said he would ask a question about it during the Education debate on the Thursday. None of the Conservative MPs called were available for discussion. Following Wednesday’s lobbying success, the NUS intends a much larger lobbying session the following week, and VP Education, Jonathan Walsh, intends to continue discussing this with local MPs from the Hampshire area at their constituency offices, in an attempt to reverse what can only be called a step backwards in the movement towards the world’s best higher education system. Students Fight Visa Charge Increase Andrew Caldwell Students from prominent universities all over the country banded together on Wednesday 23rd February in a desperate effort to prevent the Home Office from going forward with plans to increases international student visa renewal charges. At the moment, the UK charges a student £36 for their initial visa. Most international students come to universities like Southampton for postgraduate courses, and often need to renew their visas for extended projects and write up time. Last year the renewal cost shot up to £150 by mail and £250 in person. In the 2003/2004 academic year, 511 Southampton students sent in renewal applications at a sum cost of £78,000. The Home Office, however, intends to increase these fees to £250 by mail, and £500 in person. This would increase the amount Southampton students were sending to a staggering £128,000. Compared to the average student loan, or living allowance, this amount of money makes it impossible for some students to continue their studies. On a much larger scale, there is a huge concern that these charges will make studying in the UK much less attractive. At the moment, the charges are already far ahead of any of the other G8 countries. With these new charges, a large portion of students would move to countries such as Canada and Japan where the charges are a fraction of what they are in the UK. This also goes against what www.wessexscene.co.uk Labour ‘anti-Semitism’ isn’t planned, it’s just moronic Laurence Olding Since his appointment as the third Conservative Party leader since New Labour’s first landslide victory in 1997, much has been made of Michael Howard’s Jewish background and in particular, the plight of his ancestors; his grandmother was killed at Auschwitz in 1944. In the light of recent discussions on immigration, Howard’s immigrant past has in some respects been used as defence for some of the more controversial Tory proposed policies to curtail immigration that would see immigration levels capped under a Conservative administration with a new Australianstyle points system for applicants seeking visas to work in Britain. Mr Howard’s religion, and that of his Shadow Chancellor Oliver Letwin, again cropped up recently following the unveiling of proposed new general election campaign posters by the Labour Party. Depicting Letwin and Howard as flying pigs, with the caption ‘the day Tory sums add up’, their appearance was greeted with cries of anti-Semitism, associating the top Tories with pigs. For a Jewish person, as prospective Conservative candidate for the Finchley, Andrew Mennear has stated, there is nothing more distasteful than to be associated with a non-kosher animal such as a pig. As more and more gravitas is placed on events such as the relatively new Holocaust Memorial Day, contrasting with the reported growth in anti- Semitism there is growing wonder as to whether there is at present a more sinister undercurrent to both this representation of the Tory leader, and indeed to earlier attacks from within his own party and in the wider press comparing him to a vampire, recalling associations with the perennial ritual murder accusations of earlier antiJewish times. In these times of political correctness and form, it is perhaps all too easy to claim racism or ill treatment and it is perhaps more familiar to see the Tories themselves at the centre of such claims, rather than Labour. Indeed, it seems incredible for the Labour party to see itself under attack for accusations of anti-Semitism, and - if it were true - they have perhaps bril- liantly succeed in both attracting the anti-Semitic vote through the publicity whilst also keeping the ‘anti-racist’ vote won in deference to the ‘nasty party’ depiction levelled at the opposition. Whilst it seems unlikely that the Labour Party would steep so low, despite the accusations of power-madness levelled by the likes of David Davies AM in his online journal, the apparent stupidity of the idea is shocking. That the ruling party could devise a poster that could so simply be construed in antiSemitic terms and then to follow it up with another that depicts the opposition leader as a Fagin-like character, despite facing wide-spread condemnation for Labour Party chairman Ian McCartney’s Fagin jibe at Oliver Letwin at the Scottish Labour Party conference in March 2004 is in many ways inexcusable. The Labour party may not be racist or anti-Semitic, and indeed the past of the Conservative party is perhaps far more guilty of fanning the flames of hatred. That the governing party can go on making such ignorant blunders in such a blasé manner is deserving of more outcry and it is high time for a thorough rethink of the government publicity machine. Laurence Olding presents political debate on Surge every Tuesday from 2-4pm - 1287am and 87.7fm Six pledges that will set the agenda for the next election Peter Lamb This week Labour revealed their promises for a third term in government. The six pledges were unveiled in five locations as the party converged on Gateshead for their annual spring conference. The timing of these pledges are further evidence that the country is on course for a General Election on May 5th of this year. The pledges, in keeping with the New Labour convention of the last two elections, are printed on cards which will be distributed to households across the country with the advice to retain the cards to ensure that the party meets their pledges. Of course there is always the fear with such a ploy that the pledges may come back to haunt them, but with their past record this does not appear to be a concern for Mr Blair. Indeed, out of the 229 pledges in the 1997 General Election Manifesto the BBC found that apparently only 21 had not been met by the end of the allotted five year period. Yet these new pledges differ from the older ones significantly in their content. The 1997 and 2001 pledge cards held specific pledges, detailing targets which could be objectively measured, whereas the 2005 pledges are more ambiguous, providing a general explanation of the party’s aims rather then specifics. All of the main pledges seem to be policies which no-one could disagree with. The real issue will be in the ways which the party would seek to implement them. With no targets to reach and policies open to subjective interpretation, this new set of pledges could be seen as an attempt to be things to all people. The difference between the 2005 pledges and those of previous elections may well be the result of Mr Blair’s choice to replace Gordon Brown with Alan Milburn as election co-ordinator, resulting in a more Blairite approach to election strategy then has been seen before. The reason for the changes are a question to which only Milburn and Blair know the answer, and the public are going to have to make their own decisions in how they interpret the six pledges. Tony Blair eyes up a third term. Sport Page 20 Editorial Hello and welcome to the new look Sport Scene...it looks so good, I’m gutted I’ve only got a couple more issues in which to strut my journalistic stuff! This issue we take a look at the Cricket Club’s hopes for the coming season and we hear about their winter net sessions at the impressive Rose Bowl facilities. Heidi Ellis gives us a rundown on the mechanics of the Riding Club’s competition process and also reports on their outstanding victory over local rivals, Portsmouth University and The Institute. I’ve had unprecendented access to the biggest names at Southampton Football Club and we have a double page spread including an in-depth interview with Saints legend Matthew Le Tissier and a focus on Harry Redknapp’s transfer dealings during January. And the back page takes a look at the Paragliding Club and we have a report from a new ‘flyer’ on the club’s day trip to The Isle of Wight. If you’ve got an article e-mail me at the address below. Enjoy! Dave Firth sport@wessexscene.co.uk Wessex cricket hopes for all-round success James Barrett At this time of year one of the last things you might think about as you look out of the window and see the relentless Southampton rain would be the national summer sport - cricket. But while most students enjoy a lie in on Sunday mornings, both the Mens and Ladies cricketers can be found training in the old sports hall, as they have done weekly since November. There is a weekly session for potential Men’s First and Second team players, as well as the Ladies’ XI, at the excellent facilities in the indoor school of the Rose Bowl, which are of international standard. The club receives the benefit of assistance from their coach Terry Trodd, who has also coached Hampshire sides for many years. The Ladies side, in addition to their weekly training, have also been competing in a local indoor league. The club has also been very active socially over the winter, with regular Wednesday visits to either the Cube or Jesters, as well as other events such as a Golf Day and a visit to the Isleof-Wight. So what are the prospects for the club next summer – will all the training on miserable Sunday mornings in November pay off? The Men’s First XI have only lost two players from last year, and so, with 2003 skipper Martin Tunwell returning, optimism is high for a return to the BUSA Shield final they reached in that year. The squad is particularly strong in the bowling department with veteran Adam Sharp looking to add to his club record tally of 62 wickets, albeit taken over a marathon six seasons. Leg spinner Patrick Turk has benefited from a spell in Australia over the winter as part of the ECB national development programme, where he was Wessex cricketers have had the use of the excellent Rose Bowl indoor facilities near Winchester to keep them sharp during the winter coached by Terry Jenner. recent successes over the past off in style with the club taking The Second XI have only lost couple of years, as they also a squad of twenty-four players two players from last year and reached the BUSA shield final on what promises to be a oncethe Thirds none. in-a-lifetime tour to Barbados in 2003. Combined with a very promConfidence about the annual for fourteen nights and seven ising intake of freshers, this Varsity match is high, with the fixtures at the end of June. means we should have strong Men’s team looking to continue So there seems great cause sides throughout the club, with their unbeaten record in the for optimism for the cricketers plenty of healthy competition competition. at Southampton, as long as the for selection. This is despite the fact the glorious British summer arrives The Ladies’ XI has also ben- Institute will be able to rely on time! efited from a large intake of on the talents of their captain New players of all standnew players. Damo Shirazi, who plays for the ards are always welcome; if Under captain Kate Transfield British Universities side. you’re interested please e-mail they will look to build on their The season will be rounded jlc502@soton.ac.uk. Uni riding club romp to first ever derby win www.wessexscene.co.uk Heidi Ellis It was the first ever Southampton University Riding Club derby on the cold rainy day of January 19 with Southampton’s 1st Equestrian Team competing in Botley against Portsmouth University, Southampton Institute and Surrey. It saw the team (consisting of Charlotte Risius, Natasha Collings, Jenny Morris and Lizzie Angwin) gain their first win in their first competition of the year. The BUSA Championship competition works by having three to four university teams within a league, with teams consisting of four riders. Each team holds a “home” competition where they have the advantage of previous knowledge of their horses. Each rider must get the best out of their horse, be it at home with a horse they are familiar with, or away where they could end up with a bit of a handful! It is test of the rider that most people, until they compete in BUSA, will never have experienced. Most riders normally compete on horses they have ridden for a long time and have built up a relationship with. After a very un-student-like 8am start, team members prepared the horses for the day ahead, even though many had been out the night before. They began with preparation; plaiting the manes, grooming and tacking up with saddles and bridles while getting motivated for the job ahead. The first part of the day was dressage. Each team chooses a rider to ride one of four horses after watching a very short demonstration. The riders are then given a seven-minute warm up to get to know their horse before riding the dressage test. Portsmouth Uni and The Institute proved no competetion for our ‘Easy Riders’ The test involves completing luck - matching a rider with a next was the show jumping. This works in the same fora series of movements to the horse that most suits them - as best of the horse’s ability, with well as ability, as horses can be mat as the dressage test but a judge marking each rider on very stubborn creatures some- with different horses. The wintery conditions were five areas: discipline, accuracy, times. control, rider position and obeHowever, on the day the not good for the jumping due dience. Southampton riders were very to the wet ground, which made Riders are given penalties calm and performed the tasks it difficult for all riders to get around the tricky course. representing the difference brilliantly. Penalties are given to riders between their dressage score By lunchtime, the girls were and the highest scoring rider on sitting comfortably in the top who knock poles off the fences the same horse. spot, with Charlotte, Jenny and or whose horses refuse to jump Dressage is one of the hard- Natasha all getting the highest a fence. They are also given if a est challenges a rider can face. marks. This, however, did not rider is thrown from the horse, A lot of the test depends on ensure them a win because up which has happened on many occasions. Southampton University cruised through the show jumping, all going clear. Many of the other teams’ riders were unable to handle the horses provided and made mistakes. Southampton were the only team to finish on zero penalities winning the day with their closest rival, Portsmouth, trailing by 14 penalties, followed by Surrey and the Institute. This great success comes off the back of a tough time for the 1st Equestrian Team. One team member left university just weeks before, meaning that Natasha was pulled in as a last minute replacement. To add to this, one horse fell ill just three days before, meaning that Lizzie had to change horses at the last minute. The team was therefore delighted with their win after weeks of training. It gave them a good excuse to celebrate in the Cube that evening! Overall the team has had a good start to the league stage, with their other competitions coming in the next few weeks. If they are the overall winners of their league, they will go through to the regional round and will be competing against other teams in the South West. If they win the regional round, they will go through to the Nationals held near Birmingham in April. There, each rider may be given the chance to represent student riders for Great Britain and compete internationally, something that three Southampton University riders have achieved in the past four years. If you are interested in hearing more about the Southampton University Riding Club, e-mail us at riding@soton.ac.uk or check www.soton.ac.uk/~riding for details of activities for all abilities. Sport Page 22 Le Tissier enjoys media life but eyes a return to Saints Dave Firth Striding through the reception at St. Mary’s, Matthew Le Tissier exchanges hearty greetings with every member of staff he passes. The man is a Southampton legend, having played for the club for 17 years, but being hero-worshipped evidently hasn’t gone to his head. It shows the measure of the man that he agreed to come all the way to the stadium just to have an interview with me and put on hold the other passion in his life, golf. Kitted up in chinos and a wind-cheater jacket and raring to hit the course, I waste no time in asking what he made of Harry Redknapp’s controversial appointment as Saints manager. “As far as I’m concerned, there was no issue in appointing Harry as manager. “He did a tremendous job at Portsmouth, left the club for whatever reason and Rupert Lowe clearly thought he was the best man for the job,” Le Tissier revealed. Redknapp’s appointment preceded the January transfer window and Le Tissier has been impressed by the signings Redknapp has made. “Jamie Redknapp has slotted in comfortably into the midfield and is just the type of ball player needed to unlock defences. “Calum Davenport looks solid and his partnership with Claus Lundekvam looks promising. “We haven’t seen much of Bernard, Quashie and Camara yet but they are all players with proven Premiership experience and can only improve a squad that is low on confidence.” Since retiring from football in 2002, Le Tissier has moved into the media side of the game. He is a regular on Sky Sports’ signature Soccer Saturday programme and enables him to air his views on the footballing topics of the day. Working on TV has inevitably drawn him into discussions about whether referees should use video replays to help make decisions and Le Tissier makes it clear where he stands on the issue. “I’ve been a huge advocator of getting video technology into football. Referees need to be told when they’re not doing their jobs properly and that way they can be improved. They need all the help they can get. “Technology these days is so fast, it will not stop the game for too long. By not introducing video replays, FIFA and UEFA are burying their heads in the sand,” he added. Le Tissier also spoke out against UEFA’s recent proposal to have a minimum of four home grown players in Champions League squads by 2006, rising to eight players by 2008. Although legal implications may scupper UEFA’s plans, Le Tissier feels that, should the proposal be accepted, it will have a detrimental affect on football. He said: “I’m not overly keen on the ruling – it makes a mock- Le Tissier is enjoying his life after football ery of the Champions League. UEFA forcing teams to play inferior players just to be politically correct is rubbish. “If UEFA want to increase it to eight home grown players by 2008, that may seriously damage some teams’ chances of winning the competition. The best players should be playing, simple as that.” With the Champions League returning and the top sides from Germany, Italy and Spain relatively fresh from their two-week break over the Christmas period, the weary English clubs have it all to do if they are to progress to the quarter finals. But Le Tissier still feels there is no need for a winter break in England. “There is an argument for saying it would give English teams a better chance in Europe but from a domestic point of view I don’t think the winters over here are severe enough to warrant a winter break,” he said. “It might give English clubs an advantage in Europe if they’ve had a few weeks off but sometimes you can be on a great run of form, have the winter break and struggle to get back into your stride so it can work both ways.” Le Tissier talks passionately and at length about all the issues I raise, and being involved in the football media is evidently something he is relishing, but is there any desire to return to St. Mary’s in a coaching capacity? “I’m enjoying the media side of things but I’ll probably take my coaching badges this summer just in case the urge ever gets me to go into coaching. “It takes a lot of patience to take on a coaching role and I’m not sure I’ve got it in me! “I think I’m more suited to management given the manmanagement aspects involved. “I’d probably want to be a manger rather than a coach to be honest,” he revealed. Who knows, maybe Saints fans will once again be cheering on Le Tissier…as their manager. www.wessexscene.co.uk Busy January give Saints hope of beating the drop... Dave Firth Transfer deadline day was as busy as expected for Harry Redknapp as he worked overtime to bring in two new faces. Redknapp lured left-sided player Olivier Bernard from Newcastle on a free transfer and striker Henri Camara joins on-loan from Wolves. The manager is clearly delighted to have secured the services of the duo, who both have Premiership experience. “They’ll do well for us. I’ve been a big fan of Bernard for a while now. “He’s a top class left back. To take him here on a free transfer is a great result for us,” Redknapp revealed. Camara’s loan deal was complicated given his ties to his original loan club Celtic and Wolves, who control the player’s registration. However, when Craig Bellamy agreed to join Celtic on the final day of trading, Camara became available and Redknapp leapt at the chance to bring him to St. Mary’s. Redknapp said: “He did well at Wolves. He had a good run of scoring goals. “At Celtic it was difficult for him to get in the team with Hartson and Sutton there and now Bellamy has joined, they could afford to let him go.” Bernard was allowed to join Saints following Newcastle’s purchase of Celestine Babayaro from Chelsea. Bernard conceded his first team chances would have been limited and, despite late interest from Birmingham, agreed to help Saints in their relegation battle. He said: “I need to play. I need to show people I can play football at the highest level. Sometimes you have to move on and that’s what I’ve done. “It will be very hard but from what I’ve seen at training, I think we’ve got enough quality to stay in the Premier league.” Bernard and Camara join Jamie Redknapp, Calum Davidson and Nigel Quashie as the Saints’ other signings in January. Redknapp is pleased with his business dealings in the transfer window and believes Saints have a real chance of staving off the threat of relegation. “I said I thought I needed to get five players in and I’ve done that. It’s decent business. Henri Camara hopes his goals can quieten the relegation whispers that surround St. Mary’s “It’s going to be tight but if we can go on a run and drag a couple of teams down, you never know,” Redknapp explained. Davidson and Redknapp Jr. have settled comfortably into the side and have lifted the club since their arrival. If Quashie, Bernard and Camara have a similar impact, Saints have got every chance of turning their fortunes around and avoiding the drop. With the early signs encouraging, Redknapp has every right to be satisfied with his January transfer dealings. Niemi’s safe hands would be welcome at any Premiership club see Redknapp turning them transfer fee, Quashie would down. have to move. Quashie is the only January Of the other players at the signing who committed to club, Antti Niemi and Kevin a long term contract but, Phillips are undoubtedly too talagain, he is a player of proven ented to play for a Championship Premiership quality. side and would interest numerIf a Premiership club were ous Premiership clubs given their to come up with the required quality. Graeme Le Saux may have one more season of top-flight football in him and one of the newly promoted clubs might offer him that chance. If Peter Crouch’s form continues and Saints do go down, a club may be tempted to pick him up for a cut price, given Saints’ need to slash not only their squad size but also their wage bill. If all of those players were to leave, it would leave Saints relying heavily on current fringe players and rookies, such as ‘keeper Paul Smith and striker Kenwyne Jones, to get Saints promoted at the first attempt. That squad may not be good enough and if Saints were to fail at their first season, more of the bigger names, such as Delap and Prutton, would have to consider their futures. One thing is certain; relegation would be catastrophic and possibly irreparable. ...but relegation would spell mass exodus at St. Mary’s Dave Firth The five signings made by Harry Redknapp in the January transfer window have given fans hope that Saints can avoid the drop but what if they do go down? Which players in Saints’ squad would be willing to play in the Championship? Which players would Saints have to sell to cope with the crippling financial repercussions that accompany relegation? Would the players left at the club have sufficient quality to bounce straight back? These are questions that will need to be addressed should the unthinkable happen and Saints finish in the bottom three. It is difficult to see any of Saints’ January acquisitions staying at the club if they do get relegated. Calum Davenport is a highly rated centre-back with a number of admirers, and his decision to re-join Tottenham and play Premiership football when his loan spell ends would be an easy one to make. Henri Camara has already refused to play in the Championship with Wolves and there is nothing to suggest he would be willing to do so with Saints. Olivier Bernard is a left-sided player used to battling for a place in The Champions League with Newcastle. The 25 year-old would not be willing to take such a considerable step down at this stage of his career and, should Saints go down, Bernard would not extend his contract beyond the end of the season. Jamie Redknapp may stay on given the first team opportunities available to him at St. Mary’s, yet he is still a player of considerable quality and if a Premiership club were to offer first team football, it is hard to www.wessexscene.co.uk wessex SPORT Sky no limit for Paragliders Andrew Webster Hitting the heights....paragliders enjoy their flying trip to the Isle of Wight Many years have passed since I was first overwhelmed by the urge to fly. With age and maturity, the closest I felt I could come to actually flying like a bird was through paragliding. With a day of instruction and paragliding organised by the Uni Paragliding Club on the Isle of Wight, I jumped at the chance to have my first flying experience. Upon arrival, we were greeted by the High-Adventure team and after a short trip across the island, we arrived at their headquarters. With paperwork, a safety briefing and equipment allocation out of the way, it was straight up the hill to prepare for our flights. The morning of ground handling training was tedious but vitally important. It felt satisfying, if a little daunting, to accomplish some manner of control over such a large kite. We climbed a short way up the training hill and looked out over the island and across the sea between the isle and the mainland. One of the H.A. instructors boasted about how it was possible to get to the mainland if you had enough height… but perhaps not on our first day though! The hill hadn’t seemed very high from the bottom, but standing with your glider laid out behind you, seconds away from take-off, it had a mysterious rising effect. A breeze blew up and leaning into the wind, the glider was now hovering above me. I was ready for take-off. I took a few steps forward, but as I did so, there was an overwhelming tension in the harness towards my right. It didn’t take long to be completely pulled off balance, and the glider collapsed into the side of the hill. Face down, flattened to the ground by the weight of the harness, I couldn’t help but laugh at my situation. However, if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again and I dusted myself off and was ready to give it another go. Second time around, I managed to get off the ground and although the flight was a little bumpy, the feeling of gliding through the air was simply awesome. We had several more straight glides throughout the afternoon, followed by lessons on how to turn to the left and right. With his multicoloured flying suit and yellow tennis rackets, H.A. instructor Phil guided us to the bottom of the hill, giving us left/right instructions all the way down. Apart from one head on collision with a gatepost, a great day was had by all and I have been well and truly bitten by the paragliding bug. I cannot wait for my next opportunity to get into the sky!