The Little Prince
Transcription
The Little Prince
CONTENTS TEENS, GET PUBLISHED! FEBRUARY 2012 | VOL. 23, NO. 6 Submit Online – www.TeenInk.com Or by E-mail – Submissions@TeenInk.com 4 Feedback 18-19 College Directory 23 Art Gallery THE FINE PRINT • Submit your work through TeenInk.com. We no longer accept submissions by snail mail. Writing and artwork submitted through our website is not only considered for publication in the magazine, but may also be posted on TeenInk.com. If you don’t want your work posted online, e-mail it to us. You must include your first and last name, year of birth, home address/city/state/ZIP code, home phone number, school name, and English teacher’s name. Nonfiction 6-7 8 10 12-15 16 17 20 22 24-27 • Submitting art or photos. We prefer that you submit though our website or by e-mail. If you must send art by mail, attach all the above information to the back of each piece and send to Teen Ink, Box 30, Newton, MA 02461. Please don’t fold art and don’t send us the original since we can’t return it to you. • Plagiarism. Teen Ink has a no-tolerance policy for plagiarism. We check the originality of all published work through WriteCheck, and any submission found to be plagiarized will be deleted, along with any other work previously published on our site. • Your submission may be edited. For space and other reasons, we reserve the right to publish our edited version of your work without your prior approval. 26 28-29 30 • Anonymity. If, due to the personal nature of a piece, you don’t want your name published, we will respect that request, but we must still have all name and address information for our records. • Gifts. Teens published in the magazine will receive a complimentary copy of the issue containing their work, a congratulatory letter, a Teen Ink pen, and a Teen Ink Post-it™ pad. POINTS OF VIEW OUR WORLD Texting • Makeup • Equal-opportunity dating Inside the Bosnian Genocide My special education HEALTH TRUE LOVE STORIES Valentine’s Day focus Fight club SPORTS COMMUNITY SERVICE Educator of the Year nominees HEROES PRIDE Guilty conscience & PREJUDICE Standing up to sexism • Big is beautiful New ‘do • 17 and pregnant • Good-bye, ghetto • God is my head MEMOIRS ENVIRONMENT TRAVEL Beautiful cosmos • The Omnivore’s Dilemma & CULTURE Ethiopia • Italy • Bangladesh • France INTERVIEW Author Kate Klimo Reviews • Submitted work becomes the property of Teen Ink. By submitting your work to us, you are giving Teen Ink and its partners, affiliates, and licensees the non-exclusive right to publish your work in any format, including print, electronic, and online media. However, all individual contributors to Teen Ink retain the right to submit their work for non-exclusive publication elsewhere, and you have our permission to do so. Teen Ink may edit or abridge your work at its sole discretion. To prevent others from stealing your work, Teen Ink is copyrighted by The Young Authors Foundation Inc. SUBSCRIBE ■ $35 INDIVIDUAL SUBSCRIPTION (1 copy per month) I am enclosing a check or credit card information for $35. ■ CLASS SET (30 copies per month) I want 30 copies of Teen Ink each month. If I subscribe now, I will be billed $109 for the rest of the school year. Price includes shipping & handling. PO# (if available) ____________ ■ CHARITABLE DONATION I want to support Teen Ink & The Young Authors Foundation. Enclosed is: ■ $25 ■ $50 ■ $100 ■ Other_____________ You may pay by credit card: ■ MC ■ VISA Card #____________________________________ Exp. __________ Name: ______________________________________________________________ Title/Subject:____________________________School enrollment (est.): _______ School name (for Class Set):___________________________________________ Address: ■ School ■ Home __________________________________________ City:_____________________________State: ____________ ZIP: _____________ Email address: _______________________________________________________ 31 BOOKS Into the Wild • The Little Prince • The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo • The Road • Peter the Great 32 MUSIC 33 MOVIES The Sign of the Southern Cross • T-Pain • INXS • Dead Man’s Bones & TV Say Anything … • Easy A • Bill Cosby: Himself • Teen Mom • Drumline 34-37 Fiction 38-47 Poetry •••••• ON THE COVER The Love Issue Nonfiction essays on heartthrobs & heartbreak Fictional tales of crushes & crushed hope Passionate poetry pages 12-15 pages 34-37 pages 38-47 I Joined a Fight Club Sports, page 16 The art of fighting Txting: the Gr8 Deb8 Can texting be educational? Points of View, page 6 Bosnia: The Hidden Genocide A survivor’s story Our World, page 8 Phone number: ______________________________________________________ Mail to: Teen Ink • Box 30 • Newton, MA 02461 WW/PP 2/12 Cover art by Tze En, Pulau Pinang, Malaysia FEEDBACK Missing the Health Care Bus I enjoy reading essays on national and worldwide issues. These articles often contain strong, well thought out arguments. In “Missing the Health Care Bus,” Rebecca Booker explains why she believes that everyone should have access to health care. When she was younger her parents were unable to afford health insurance for her. She had to live extra cautiously, always anxious that she might get injured or sick and would not be able to afford the medical expenses. I agree that health care should be universal in the United States. In today’s modern culture people should not have to forgo medical attention because they cannot afford it. Maddie Brinker, Bethlehem, PA A Peaceful Revolution I’m not as hopeful as Amy Gofton is in her article “A Peaceful Revolution.” Sure, there were many revolutions in 2011, but the world is not a stranger to revolutions. We had the Atlantic Revolutions in the late 18th century, when America, France, and Haiti liberated themselves from oppression. We had post-WWII Communist revolutions, when many Eastern European and Asian countries were lit up in fiery red. We had the Revolutions of 1989, when the world witnessed the fall of Communism in Eastern Europe. In the past year, we have had the Arab Spring uprisings, Russian election protests, and the Occupy Wall Street movement. Frankly, I don’t see much difference. Every generation is marred by hatred and bloodshed. Every time, we believe our actions will change the future and that there will be no more conflicts. That’s what happened during World War I. It was called “the war to end all wars,” but little did they know that it would soon be followed by World War II, which would eclipse it in both scope and casualties. I’m convinced that as long as the human Box 30 • Newton, MA 02461 (617) 964-6800 Editor@TeenInk.com www.TeenInk.com Publishers Senior Editor Editor Production Associate Editor Assistant Editor Outreach Advertising Intern Volunteer 4 Stephanie Meyer John Meyer Stephanie Meyer Emily Sperber Susan Tuozzolo Katie Olsen Cindy Spertner Adam Halwitz Meagan Foley John Meyer Alex Cline Barbara Field Teen Ink • Articles mentioned here can be found on TeenInk.com race survives, this cycle of violence will continue. Call me a pessimist or a skeptic or whatever, but I believe that this past year of revolutions will be just another bullet point on the list of revolutionary waves that have rocked the world. Timon Luo, Brooklyn, NY She’s Beauty I loved the nonfiction piece “She’s Beauty” by Courtney DeJoy. Courtney talks about how she longed for a younger sibling and how she would do anything to have a sister/brother. Courtney’s lifelong dream came true on October 31st, 2005. She got a little sister. However, this was not the ordinary “wait nine months and watch Mommy’s tummy grow” situation: Courtney’s parents adopted a baby girl. Courtney’s love for her sister is something only she can describe, but I think I know how she feels. I longed for a little sister too. On July 7th, 2002, she was born. When my sister was born, I realized I had my work cut out for me. We are nine years apart, so I try to be the best role model and always protect her. No matter what, she will be by my side, and just like Courtney said, my sister is the greatest gift ever. Anyssa Maestas, Thornton, CO Thank You, Teen Ink Teen Ink is great entertainment because it provides a variety of selections. The magazine and website allow young people to share stories, reviews, and poems with others. Writers like me are always looking to get their work out there, and Teen Ink gives us the opportunity to get published and share our work with the world. Teen Ink has so many options that you never know what to expect, which is what makes it great. I personally find the nonfiction stories most enjoyable, but the fiction, reviews, and poems are all well written too. I want to thank you for creating this CIRCULATION Reaching millions of teens in junior and senior high schools nationwide. THE YOUNG AUTHORS FOUNDATION The Young Authors Foundation, publisher of Teen Ink, is a nonprofit corporation qualified as a 501(c)3 exempt organization by the IRS. The Foundation, which is organized and operated exclusively for charitable and educational purposes, provides opportunities for the education and enrichment of young people. FREQUENCY Ten monthly issues, from September to June. ADDITIONAL COPIES Send $6.95 per copy for mailing and handling. F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 NOTICE TO READERS Teen Ink is not responsible for the content of any advertisement. We have not investigated advertisers and do not necessarily endorse their products or services. EDITORIAL CONTENT Teen Ink is a monthly journal dedicated to publishing a variety of works written by teenagers. Copyright © 2011 by The Young Authors Foundation, Inc. All rights reserved. Publication of material appearing in Teen Ink is prohibited unless written permission is obtained. PRODUCTION Teen Ink uses Quark Xpress to design the magazine. magazine that I and other teen writers enjoy. Teen Ink is above all other magazines and books I have read. Thank you! Mauricio Curiel, Commerce City, CO It is impressively original and speaks the truth. “You Are Lucky” reminds us of what we may sometimes take for granted: little things do count. It’s true – we take lightly what we are given. This article is a reminder to be thankful for everyone and everything we have in our lives, and how lucky we are to be alive. Jess made a brilliant choice in using the second person point-of-view; it puts the reader in a personal perspective, making her words more attention-grabbing. “Out of seven billion people alive on earth, you are the only you that has ever existed or will ever exist.” This sentence alone makes me feel at peace with myself. There will never be another me. “You Are Lucky” is a breath of fresh air. Anyone, from young to old, can relate to it. Nicole Javillo, Wilmington, DE The Snowman “The Snowman” by Caeleigh MacNeil is a story about an innocent subject: drawing snowmen. However, hidden between the lines is a message that shouldn’t apply today: don’t rock the boat. People who do something different get ridiculed and shunned. Though teachers claim that we are all unique and should be proud of it, a boy in Caeleigh’s third grade class was ridiculed for drawing a purple snowman with four circles increasing in size. Today in our society, you must be part of the “normal” group in order to be accepted. You must look a certain way, act a certain way, and have a certain set of beliefs that fit with the crowd’s. The pressure to be part of the group is enormous, and nobody wants to be viewed as a weirdo. However, what would happen if people didn’t challenge the ideas of the “normal” group and let their imagination take charge? What would happen if people didn’t speak their minds? What would happen if people cared more about their reputation than doing the right thing? Without people like the boy who draws a purple snowman, who will stand out from the crowd and take chances? These are the people who make a difference in the world. So instead of making fun of the boy who draws a purple snowman, we should embrace his creativity. We can all change the world, one purple upside down snowman at a time. Laolu Ogunnaike, New York, NY Spreading the Word About Teen Ink My father lives abroad and is always teaching us about lots of interesting stuff. One example is Teen Ink. When I told my father that I like to write, he said, “Try browsing through this site. It might interest you,” and he was right. When I went on TeenInk.com, I realized that it can help teens find our talents, share them with other teens all over the world, and improve our skills. Above all, what makes me happy about Teen Ink is that teens who usually go online without a purpose finally have something that will interest them. I keep introducing Teen Ink to everyone. When I was given a chance to speak in my class recently, I told everyone about TeenInk.com and had the pleasure of writing the URL on many notebooks so they could check out the site. Teen Ink is indeed a brilliant idea; thanks to all who are responsible for it. Aafiya Fazie, Kandy, Sri Lanka You Are Lucky “You Are Lucky” by Jess Roberts definitely left a mark on me. Only seven paragraphs long, with its full-on power and emotion, it will touch anyone who reads it. . ELLtttA THISWIS t writers es t ho s d’’s d ad pa atttp at One off d ted te E Ella Enchan ME AM NA nia arrn S IN Na LIVES eries & The gon Se S Erag ES LOVE iies errie Se rS ne un Mazer olf stories mpirre//Werew am Va T S V ATE HA pp y Dep ny n T CRUSH John ET RE CR EC SE rence TO Make a diffe HOPES TO e ue gu ag ea Le The Ivy L E Her story ME AM FA F ! s! r ads ver 2 million re ov has o g ng on s sttrro N CLUB 12,000+ AN F FA rld’s orrl We’re the wo ni y of n nit un mu c mm st com ges g arrg llar la aders & writers! ea rea THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO SUMMER SESSION ’12 Programs for High School Students “An unforgettable, life-changing summer.” —Martha Glodz There’s a difference between communicating ideas and experiencing them. It’s the difference between memorizing a foreign language and thinking in one. Between studying ruins and excavating them. Between analyzing dreams and living them. The difference is huge. And it’s the very essence of the University of Chicago Summer Session. Where students are engaged at every level— intellectually, socially, personally, and professionally. Where you can benefit from the value of taking university courses in an accelerated, intensive format. Join us this summer for an extraordinary learning experience at the academic home to more than 85 Nobel laureates. For students in high school, college, and beyond. June 18–August 24, 2012 , 3, 4, 5, and 6-week sessions Experience the excitement of college life during our 3- and 6-week academic programs. www.summercollege.cornell.edu For more information: summer.uchicago.edu/go/HSTNIN 773.834.3792 summer_college@cornell.edu t607.255.6203 tLike us on Facebook NORTHWESTERN COLLEGE PREP SUMMER 2012 EXPERIENCE COLLEGE LIFE AT NORTHWESTERN. TAKE A REAL COLLEGE COURSE AND EARN COLLEGE CREDIT. EXPLORE IMPORTANT TOPICS IN AN IN FOCUS SEMINAR. HAVE A GREAT SUMMER! APPLY ONLINE www.northwestern.edu/collegeprep 847-467-6703 F==@:<F=LE;<I>I8;L8K<8;D@JJ@FE /'' =FI;?8Ds\eifcc7]fi[_Xd%\[lsnnn%]fi[_Xd%\[l GET READY. GET SET. GO! Give us your 2¢. Want to be a better writer? Submit your feedback at www.TeenInk.com Online creative writing classes begin 2/12. TeenInk.writingclasses.com F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 5 points of view Txting: the Gr8 Deb8 by Teresa Chen, Brooklyn, NY most critics believe that in the instances when textand children have a sophisticated understanding of as high tech really reached a new low? The speak appears in schoolwork, the student has usually the appropriate use of words,” states Dr. Beverley average teenager sends more than 3,339 done it on purpose. Plester, lead professor of the study. texts per month. We all know how easy it is When looked at from another angle, texting may This research is fueling supporters of texting by to flip open your phone and type a quick “meet me not be damaging our language, but rather, building encouraging school boards to incorporate the use of @ the mall @ 2 plz!” to your BFF. But is texting as it. The English language has evolved over hundreds texting within education. According to statistics, 54 harmful and destructive to grammar as teachers of years, and English from the Shakespearean times percent of those who text are teenagers. Because it’s claim? Will texting cause – OMG – the death of the changed greatly to become modern-day English. such a huge part of a student’s life, educational orEnglish language? Despite popular belief, texting Textese could be shaping the new and improved ganizations are working to create a curriculum that isn’t creating a generation of illiterate teenagers. In English language. It fosters creativity and, I believe, involves this technology and engages both fact, it’s doing just the opposite. is not just an example of linguistic laziness. Like the the attention and the interest of teenagers. According to recent studies by reclichés “all that glitters is not gold” and “starStates such as Connecticut are beginning searchers at Coventry University and Is texting as to see uses for this way of communicating, crossed lovers” from Shakespeare’s works, texting is the University of Toronto, texting actuinspiring new phrases, words, and symbols that are harmful as and are convinced that “nonstandard Engally improves literacy. The studies making their way into our culture, for example, lish” doesn’t actually interfere with the found that texting had no detrimental claimed? “smh,” “ily,” and “g2g.” development of the ability to write in stanlink with linguistic development, and Opponents of texting have also claimed that it dard forms required by school, higher that it improved comprehension and causes grades to drop for many students, but it’s not education, and careers, as opponents claim. They reading development. The 10-year study, which the physical action of texting that should be tarbelieve that it helps motivate students and can be tested 88 eight- to 10-year-olds, found that those geted; it’s the addiction. Instead of paying attention beneficial in a teaching environment by testing stuwho were better at understanding and creating text to the teacher and the lesson, some students focus dents’ grammar and comprehension. abbreviations did better on literacy tests. This more on their phones hidden under their desks. One But these new findings are definitely overshad“boost” effect is similar to what happens when reason for this could be that teachers are not using owed by public perceptions, shaped by the media, parents talk to infants or read to toddlers; the more good techniques to motivate and engage students which is constantly unleashing stories of students exposure children have to language, the more underduring the class. using textisms in formal writing. In standing of the language they have. In the case of But this doesn’t let the teen who one well-known case, a 13-year-old texting, in order to comprehend shorthand abbreviagirl handed in an essay written entirely Textese could be write “LOL” in a term paper off the tions, teenagers have to have a strong sense of the Like any slang appearing in a in texting shorthand. As shocking as longhand behind it. “What we think of as misshaping the new hook. formal research report, textese should this may seem, it does not prove that spellings don’t really break the rules of language, the English language is and improved be considered a grammatical error and rebuked with a red pen. It may be true disappearing. Dr. English that electronic communication has its Plester’s report states: own faults and fosters its own care“The alarm in the media lessness, but texting slang can be seen as no differis based on selected anecdotes, but acent from academic terms or journalistic shorthand in tually when we look for examples of writing. And as for the texters, maybe they should text-speak in essays, we don’t seem to consider typing out the whole word once in a while. find very many.” This is due to the It really doesn’t take that much longer. technique of code switching – knowIt’s time to loosen up the English language and ing what type of behavior is appropritolerate texting as a growing part of communication ate in certain situations. One example today. It may bend all the rules, but it is still 100 of this is when teenagers switch from percent a part of this language and is fostering new talking in slang with their friends to innovation with words, all while improving the literspeaking politely to a teacher or paracy of those who are heavily involved. Textese is the ent. Slang is much like texting, and modern dialect of the world, it seems, and our socithough there’s the occasional slip-up, ety should accept it. That heathen Shakespeare it doesn’t happen often. Even more would have been on board. ✦ rare is the occurrence of texting shortPhoto by Tiffiny Le’Anne, Parker, CO hand in a formal piece of writing, and H Texting While Walking W e have all heard about the tragic deaths caused by people who text while driving, but how about deaths from texting while walking? Like driving, walking while texting can be very dangerous. Has technology become so advanced and texting so addictive that these tragedies are now an accepted part of our culture? Some of the worst cases of walking while texting have led to death, injury, and humiliation. The most tragic cases of walking while texting include the death of a 14-year-old boy from Florida in 2008. He was so focused on his phone that 6 Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 by Jake Langevin, Welch, MN he stepped into oncoming traffic. “The security officer responsible for Who’s at fault? The distracted texting sharing the video of this incident has teen or the driver who hit him? These been terminated and is no longer with accidents warrant another look at the the company.” laws pertaining to texting. Now wait a minute, he lost his job On a lighter note, in for sharing a stupid misanother incident, Cathy take that occurred in pubJust as Cruz Marrero was texting lic? That’s a little harsh. dangerous as while walking in a mall My point is that texting and tumbled into a water while walking will only driving while make you look stupid. fountain. But her humiliation didn’t end there. A Exactly 40 years after texting? mall security camera man first stepped on the caught the mishap and it soon apmoon, a teen who was walking while peared on YouTube. The video now texting stepped into an open manhole. has more than three million views. City workers came to her rescue and The company that provides security apologized for the unmarked hazard, for the mall issued this statement: but the 15-year-old’s mother declared COMMENT she would sue. It may sound crazy, but she may have a point. Under any circumstances, the manhole should have been marked to prevent accidents. But on the other hand, the teen who was texting while walking should have been alert enough to see the hazard and avoid it. So, in order to save yourself from death, injury, or simple humiliation, don’t text while walking. It may sound crazy, but walking while texting can be life threatening just like texting while driving. As addictive as technology can be, it can wait. My advice is to stay alert and keep your eyes on the sidewalk. ✦ ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM L ast week I threw out my makeup. The mascara, the eyeshadow – all of it went right in the trash. I hadn’t worn it in months, and as I threw it away, I knew it was my final declaration. When I was in middle school I gravitated toward the stuff. I wanted to be grown up. I had visions of maturity and beauty in it. My best friend taught me to apply eyeliner and my mother showed me how to put mascara on. I loved bright green eyeshadow and pale lipstick. The last time I wore makeup it was snowing. I kept pulling out a pocket mirror to inspect my eyes to be sure my mascara wasn’t running. I wore it for the play I watched that night and for the guy in it. That was last winter. I haven’t worn makeup since. by Amy Gofton, Elmira, ON, Canada more is bought and consumed. It’s a cycle that goes Today I’ve come to a number of conclusions. on and on, but where is the end? Women buy an Makeup is unhealthy for the skin. Makeup distorts overpriced product as if it’s something they require genuine beauty and real confidence. Makeup is a to be part of this culture. Maybe it is. Women are product of a consumer society. Makeup is sexist. told: you’re better, you’re more mature, you’re more What’s in makeup? By reading a few labels you’ll competent if you wear makeup. find preservatives like BHT, chemicals, artificial colMakeup is sexist. Most women in high paying and ors, and if you’re lucky, some natural things like oat professional jobs wear makeup. It seems to be exflour or zinc. Most of the ingredients, the average pected. Nobody says, “You must wear makeup,” but person cannot pronounce. Every time you put it on it’s the social norm. Take a look at your female your face, your skin is absorbing it. teachers, politicians, and those working in any job Makeup has a way of distorting what is truly that requires a suit. The majority wear beautiful. In my eyes, everyone is beautiful. It’s when a person covers Makeup has a makeup. Why aren’t the men expected to wear makeup too? herself with products that I find it difway of distorting You’re laughing at that statement. ficult to see that beauty. Beauty is Why aren’t men expected to wear something natural. It has to do with what is truly makeup? Well, because men don’t wear the way a person sees and interacts beautiful makeup. That’s the logical answer. Yes, with the world. It’s the way he or she there are products for men, but only a blends with nature, the urban envilimited number touch them. Welcome to inequality ronment, and what is real. Makeup simply covers up in the workplace. Makeup makes the professional and distorts the beauty of being human. It’s stepping woman. into the world with a mask on, whether you conI say let’s scrap makeup! Leave it to actresses and sciously see it as one or not. Logically speaking, no actors who are playing a role. Leave it to the news one would spend so much money on something to anchor who doesn’t want you to be distracted by a cover her face unless she truly believed, either conglare on his or her face from the lights. sciously or unconsciously, that beauty could be Throwing away the makeup is a statement that gained from it. By trying to be beautiful, women says “I care about my health. I’m beautiful no matcover their true beauty. ter how ‘pretty’ I am. I am not a victim of a conMakeup is the product of a consumer society. We buy and buy and buy. Makeup doesn’t last long. sumer society. I am equal.” Those are all things I can say about myself. ✦ When it runs out, the packing is thrown away and points of view Throw Away the Makeup Photo by Jess Deibert, Klingerstown, PA Good-Bye, Wallflowers our society for ages. However, these t always annoys me how willing ideas are outdated and discourage girls are to play the “damsel in girls from empowering themselves. distress.” Yes, we girls may not be “I don’t think I’d ever ask anyone physically as strong as boys (on averout because it’s so embarrassing. I’m age). We are, for the most part, not a very forward person,” says smaller too. Evolutionarily speaking, Stephanie, a junior at my high school. we are supposed to depend on men to She has always been shy and says, as bring us food while we make babies. a result, she does not have the confiHistorically it has made sense for dence to ask someone out. Stephanie women to look to men for protection. does not directly relate this to societal However, society now is set up so standards but admits that this could that we women can support ourselves affect her on a subconscious level. just as well as men can, if not better. Some girls, however, are confident We can be just as independent as enough to take the first step. Imari, a men. Even so, many double standards sophomore, has asked two guys out. still exist from the time when men “I knew he wasn’t going to ask me were seen as the dominant sex. For because I wasn’t too obvious, so I example, in high school, boys are still thought, if he’s not expected to initiate going to ask me, I may romantic relationships Why shouldn’t as well ask him. and pay for dates, There’s nothing to while girls are exgirls initiate lose,” she says. pected to be passive relationships too? The first time she and look pretty. asked someone out was I like the idea of a for the Winter Semiboy treating me with Formal Dance her freshman year. He respect; girls should do the same for turned her down. But last summer them. However, it makes no sense Imari asked out someone else, who whatsoever that boys should be the said yes. They are still dating, and she only ones to initiate a relationship enjoys the empowerment of taking when girls are just as capable of the initiative. doing so. Many girls believe it is not “When a girl asks a guy out, it’s their place to approach a crush bedifferent. It’s a lot more fun because cause of standards that have existed in I LINK YOUR TEENINK.COM ACCOUNT TO FACEBOOK by Sarah-Alice Hanna, Portland, OR people don’t do double takes every the ball is in your court. You have all time I explain that I’ve never been the cards. You’re not sitting around asked out but I’ve initiated several rewaiting,” she explains. Imari aclationships. I look forward to the day knowledges that there are societal when girls can, in the standards that say boys eyes of society, be should take the initiaHistorically, girls equal to boys when it tive instead of girls. to initiating rela“There’s more pressure could ask boys comes tionships. on a guy,” she says. It’s the twenty-first “Girls expect a guy to out on Leap Day, century. We women are just ask.” February 29 no longer fragile dolls Imari believes that who require special it’s often surprising treatment. We are capable of just about when a girl asks a boy out because it anything men are. Why shouldn’t we is so out of the norm. “It shakes guys initiate relationships too? ✦ up and makes them realize that you’re not going to sit around waiting for them.” It takes courage and confidence to ask someone out, regardless of gender. Whether you’re a girl or a boy, there will always be that uncomfortable feeling of putting yourself on the line, but that’s just part of the dating experience. I look forward to the day when it’s just as common for a girl to ask a boy out as it is for a boy to ask a girl. I look forward to the day when girls don’t hesitate to approach a love interest, and when shy boys won’t have to assume that they’ll never get a girlfriend if they don’t ask someone out. I look forward to the day when Photo by Corrine Ramstead, Kirkland, WA F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 7 our world 8 Bosnia: The Hidden Genocide by Sabiha Masud, Salt Lake City, UT concentration camp called Batkovici was being held. during the genocide. The soldiers e’ve all heard of the Holowhere I spent a year. I was not killed “They raped one woman whose would pile the bodies on top of caust. We’ve read about the because of my position in the SDA; children and parents were present, sewage drains to get rid of the blood, mass murder of 800,000 the Serbs still wanted information. along with everyone else,” testified almost as if to eradicate the evidence civilians in Rwanda. People write The men who were not as lucky were Alija Lujinovic, another survivor. Acof their horrible deeds. books, make movies, hold memorial ordered to dig trenches. They did not cording to the Red Cross, over two He continues: “At the jail the services, and advocate awareness of know the trenches also served as their million people were displaced from guards questioned me every day, askthese terrible genocides. While it graves. When they finished, the guards their homes during the Bosnian War, ing how many weapons I had and would be nice to say that those were would slit their throats. and 200,000 people died, including what political positions I had held in the only genocides our world has ex“On the 9th of October, 1993, I was 12,000 children. Fifty thousand Sanski Most. If I refused to answer, I perienced, there are countless others traded for Serbian soldiers being held women were raped, tortured, sold, or would be beaten. They took my that are rarely mentioned. hostage and sent to Tuzla, a free city in killed. Men were sent to clothes, documents, The Bosnian genocide took place northeastern Bosnia. I brought my concentration camps. everything. I was put in between 1992 and 1995, around the daughters back from Slovenia, and my Osman Talic was a a room the size of a time my generation was beginning. It “No one was whole family went to live in Vodice. A survivor of not one, but small garage with 70 was a result of the war between trying to free us other detainees with no few years later, we came to America.” four camps. He was a Bosnia and the Serbians (and a numOsman looks down at his hands, witness for the Internawindows so there was ber of Croatians). In 1946, Yugoslavia from the camp” no way to tell if it was which are now clenched fists. tional Court where he was divided into six federated re“When I talk about what they did to attested to the torture he day or night. publics: Bosnia and Herzegovina, me, I get agitated,” he explains. “I endured. I was fortunate to be able to “We were beaten every day and Croatia, Macedonia, Montenegro, imagine being beaten and tortured. I talk to Osman Talic. His English is not given very little food. Every day the Serbia, and Slovenia. Bosnia passed still have nightmares. It made no sense perfect, and he searches for words, guards would bring a loaf of bread for a referendum for independence that that my neighbor, someone I ate with smiling after each sentence and saying 24 of us to share. We would get one was supported by the country’s Musand invited to my house, would be the “You understand?” small glass of water for two. Before lims and Croats, but rejected by reprefirst to turn a gun on me. “I lived in a small town called Santhe war, I was 220 pounds. A few sentatives of the Serb population, who “I don’t understand the trauma and ski Mos in Bosnia,” he told me. “After months later, I weighed 130. established their own republic, Repubtorture these people put on innocent the breakup of Yugoslavia, there was “I would think each morning, Today lika Srpska. Bosnians. My cousin watched 13 might be my last day. Sometimes I fighting and anger between the Croats, Following Bosnia’s declaration of members of his family killed in front would wake up at night with a gun to Serbs, and Muslims. In my town, I independence, Bosnian Serb forces of him, including his eight-month-old my head. For some reason, once I was the leader (with a few others) of (supported by the Serbian governdaughter and two-year-old son. This is woke up, the soldier would decide not the SDA, an organization that reprement), accompanied by the Yugoslav’s what gives me the most pain, the death to kill me. sented the Bosnian Muslims. In 1991, People’s Army, declared war on of children and women. I saw a house “The guards would place my hands there was the first election in Bosnia. Bosnia so they could take the land for burned to the ground with 30 people on a cooker and put a knife to my Since Muslims made up so much of themselves. Although Croatia had first locked inside. I will never forget these neck. I was told that if I lifted my the population, many of supported Bosnian inthings. I can never forget.” hands, the guards would slit my those elected were Musdependence, their We sit in silence for a few moments throat. My hands were burnt so badly I lim. The Bosnian Serbs president, Franjo “They did not while he gathers his thoughts. still have no feeling in my fingers. I were very angry that the Tudman, decided to “It frustrates me that no one will slept on a slab of concrete for two join the war to secure know the trenches Serbians had become a talk about what happened. It is not years and not allowed to shower for minority. The Serbs deland for his republic. also served as recognized as a genocide. It is painful seven months. During this time, I was cided to declare war and Along with this came to talk about, but it should not be forallowed no contact with the outside. get rid of the Muslims. an “ethnic cleansing” their graves” gotten. I wish more people knew “Then, on August 28, 1992, I was They had help from of the Muslims in about the genocide and the terrible taken to a third concentration camp Croatia, and the manBosnia, who reprethings Bosnian Muslims endured.” called Manjaca. This was one of the power to destroy us. The Bosnians had sented almost half the population. This He smiles at me, and though his biggest, with 7,000 to 8,000 people. no weapons or outside help. We were genocide wiped out 66.2 percent of story is horrific and hard to hear, I Here I was not scared. There were so barricaded inside Bosnia. the Bosniaks, or Bosnian Muslims, in smile back. “My English is good?” he many people, I knew that the soldiers “On May 26, 1992, Serbian soldiers the country, according to the Internaasks, laughing. It’s hard for me, a could not hurt all of us. We were sent came to my town and forced me and tional Committee of the Red Cross. sheltered teen living in Utah, to underto do menial labor every day. I reother men out of our homes. My On October 13, 1991, on the eve of stand how someone can even function member, once I dropped a hammer on daughters were 15; my son was 18 and war, the future president of Republika after surviving four concentration the head of a Serbian guard. I thought, had joined the Bosnian army. My wife Srpska, Radovan Karadzic, expressed camps. Now they will kill me. had died. My sister took my daughters his view about the future of Bosnia I ask one last question: But although I was punto Slovenia to safety. I was taken to a and Bosnian Muslims: “In just a cou“What do you want people ished, I still had my life. concentration camp called Betonirka. I ple of days, Sarajevo will be gone and “Our stories to know?” “The lack of food was spent two months there while Bosnian there will be five hundred thousand “My story,” he replies, still a huge problem. I men came pouring in from all over. dead, in one month Muslims will be should not be “is the story of many gave my food to anyone “The last day in that camp was July annihilated in Bosnia and Herzegovforgotten” Bosnians. This happened, who was sick or younger. 25, 1992. That day my name was ina.” There were no Bosnian forces to and it was terrible and still When we went out to called from a list of men who had fight back, and because they had been hurts me, but people need work, we would we been businessmen or leaders of some left defenseless, the country ultimately to know what they [Bosnian Serbs] would eat grass and dirt. If we were organization, and we were put in ceased to exist. did to us. We had no help for five lucky we found a frog or bugs to eat. buses. During the trip, the other bus Bosnian Muslims and many nonyears. This was not only the Bosnian The Red Cross came with food, stopped. The men came out and the Serbs were forced out of their homes, war, it was the Bosnian genocide. The clothes, and supplies. I did not Serbian guards, who had long knives, and women and children were sent to past cannot be erased. Our stories understand why no one was trying slit their throats. One by one they fell unhygienic detention centers or places should not be forgotten.” to free us. at the side of the road. There was no known as “rape camps.” Zehra SmaOsman has since returned to Bosnia, “In December 1992, everyone was reason. They acted like it was no big jlovic, a witness for the International but he says his country still has many released and allowed to flee to Croatia deal to take a life. My bus arrived at Court of Justice and a Bosniak surproblems and will never be fully whole and Slovenia. I thought I would finally the jail later that day.” vivor, stated that nearly two dozen and peaceful. He is one of the see my family, but instead I and 221 This method of randomly slaughterwomen disappeared when Bosnian strongest people I have ever met. ✦ other men were taken to a fourth ing innocent men was very common Serbs came to the center where she W Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM E arn C ollege Creedit This Summer! Summer Programs Arts & Communication for High School Students July 8 - August 10, 2012 Summer Focus F at UC Berkkeley June 30 -Aug 11 , 2012 • Five-week pre-college credit and studio programs in acting, musical theatre, stage design, creative writing, film, and TV writing and production • Two-week institutes in journalism; and political communication, leadership and social advocacy Apply early. Program Information/Applications: emerson.edu/ce or call 617-824-8280 510-548-6612 wwww .educ ationunlimitedd.com 3UHSDUHIRU\RXUIXWXUH -XQH-XO\ WRITING AND THINKING WORKSHOP at LAKE FOREST COLLEGE Chicago’s national liberal arts college June 10-23, 2012 Discover words … community … yourself Professional Studies • 120 Boylston St., Boston MA www.lakeforest.edu/wtw Register Now for Summer 2012! PPublic u b l i c Speaking Speaking Institute Institute Computer Programming College Planning Leadership Writing SSess e s s ions i o n s heldDW: h e l dDW : 6WDQIRUG8&%HUNHOH\, 6WDQIRUG8&%HUNHOH\ , 8&/$DQG7XIWV8QLYHUVLW\ 8&/$DQG7XIWIWV8QLYHUVLW\ 5510-548-6612 10-548-6612 wwww w w ..educ e d u c aationunlimited.com tio n un limited .co m Science Performing Arts FOR M ORE IN FORM A TI O N www.learnmore.dukeEDUsyouth@dukeEDUs THE PUTNEY SCHOOL SUMMER PROGRAMS High School Summer Experiences CREATIVE WRITING VISUAL ARTS THEATER MUSIC DANCE FARM ESOL High School Summer Scholars Program (5 weeks, college credit) “A place you can dive fully and fearlessly into your artistic passions. “ High School Summer Institutes (3 weeks, non-credit) i Writing Institute i Pre-Medical Institute i Photojournalism Institute putneyschool.org/summer Putney, Vermont 802-387-6297 California California Actors A ctors Workshop Workshop H Held eld at at Stanford Stanford U University niversity 2 01 Session: Session: 201 High High SchoolSchool- July July -2 -2 summerexperiences.wustl.edu Make Art Ireland: Summer 2012 Painting, Drawing & Photography 5510-548-6612 10-548-6612 www.educationunlimited.com www.educationunlimited.com A ccolleg college-level ollege-le e-levveel el ssu summ summer umme mer er pr p program ro ro oggram gra ram school students ffor fo o or hi high iigh gh ssch ch hool ool o ol st sstuden tudents ts July ly 8-21 8-21,, 2 20 012 “The mix of frreed dom with ith h responsibility esp and fun allowed for o a realistic alistic and enriching enrichin ng college-like expeerience.” – Allison frroom C CT Classes C l a s s e s offered o f f e r e d iinn A Art, r t , Humanities, H u m a n i t i e s , Languages, Languages , Natural Sciences. N a t u r a l Sciences, Sc i e n ce s , aand n d So SSocial c i a l Sc i e n ce s . 1 800 677 0628 www.cowhousestudios.com RICHMOND,, IN RICHMO RICHMOND F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 www.earlham.edu/~eac www .earlha am.edu/~ea ac exploreacollege@earlham.edu ex xplo eacollegge@earlham xplor m.edu u 1-800-EARLHAM 1-800 0-EARLHA AM • Teen Ink 9 health Sponsored by 10 Sorting Screws by Christian Rauch, Sarasota, FL in a school for children with special just cognitively delayed. From age hen I was three, a doctor needs. I received daily therapy for two through five I seized constantly told my parents I wouldn’t eight hours, which continued at home. for 20- to 30-minutes at a time. Some be completely handiMy parents researched and took the seizures left me paralyzed, some left capped, but I would be “sorting advice of many doctors on how to me twitching, others wiped me out for screws.” This came after an extensive cope with my changing diagnoses: days. neuropsychological exam that indiepilepsy, sensory integration disorder, When I turned six, the seizures cated I had an IQ of 40. My classifiautism, oppositional defiant disorder became fewer and farther between. cation was “Trainable Mentally (ODD) and conduct disorder (CD), Because my immune system was Handicapped.” My Ivy League-eduobsessive compulsive disorder compromised, the doctor recomcated parents were devastated. When (OCD), developmental delay, and on mended a non-contact sport, so my they asked what they should do with and on. At various times parents enrolled me and my brothers my college fund, the in my childhood, I was in swim classes. After the first six doctor replied, “He’ll diagnosed with terms I months, the warts that covered my need it to live in a group I was in special think were invented just knees were gone, I suffered less illhome. College is out of education my for me. ness, and I was physically tired at the the question.” My My parents surrounded end of the day. And I have continued mother cried for days, whole life themselves with great swimming to this day. but with the help of both doctors who gave them In 2007 I informed my parents that sets of grandparents, she hope and encouragement. One, Dr. I wanted to go to a regular high found the strength to prove that Jose Ferreira, my neurologist from All school so I could play sports. They doctor wrong. Children’s Hospital, told my parents agreed to let me take the entrance My mother says I was a perfect they needed to treat me exactly like exam at a local Catholic high school. baby. In fact, I reached all the milemy brothers – holding me to the same Apparently my scores were the lowstones early. In the spring of 1995, expectations and punishing me for the est in the history of the school. within hours of receiving my DPT same things. It might take me 50-100 They suggested I return to seventh (diphtheria, pertussis, and tetanus) times before I learned a behavior that grade and try again in two years. I vaccination from the pediatrician, I my older brother could easily grasp, was crushed! My mom convinced suffered a seizure that lasted over 15 but they had to be consistent. This them to let me attend for a probaminutes. I was rushed to the hospital was reinforced by my Opa, my dad’s tionary period, and if it was a comfor a battery of inconclusive tests. I father. He was very involved, since plete disaster, they would pull me went on to experience seizures for the my dad was busy traveling and workout in December. next ten years. ing. Opa believed in me and treated They agreed, but I was expected me as though I was normal. This was to earn at least a 2.0, and I would be a saving grace. enrolled in a class designed to help As a child, my days were spent develop study skills. Up until this getting hours and hours of therapy. point, I had no experience with Weighted belts, educational toys, a textbooks, tests, homework assignspecial diet, music therments, or reading requireapy, and deep tissue masments. Attending a sages were all part of my regular school would be a Success is daily routine. Of course, huge adjustment for me. completely in My parents knew I would there were also many medications, each requirrequire hours and hours my hands ing extensive research by of tutoring just to learn my parents. Finally, in the basics. 2002, my parents said, “Enough!” I managed to maintain a 3.7 GPA They had a hunch that many of my and finished my last semester with a behaviors were medically induced. 4.1. Unfortunately, as a result of my They decided to go against the docstruggles freshman year, I will not tors’ orders, wean me of my drugs, have a career GPA high enough to and re-evaluate my situation. make National Junior Honor SociAccording to my family, what ety – one of my goals. emerged was a miracle. I still had Today I have my driver’s license, seizures, but not every day. I was in which is great for getting to school school and could read, but had fine and to my nine swim practices each motor skill problems, speech issues, week. I hold a leadership position in Art by Zuzanna Czerny, Phoenix, AZ and needed occupational therapy for the Mission Club and hope to run help with coordination. But one new for president this year. This club positive side effect was that I finally reaches out to less fortunate stuSeizures are a funny thing. When had a personality, something they dents to enlighten them and open you’re having one, you don’t have hadn’t seen since I was a one-yeartheir eyes to possibility. control of your body, and you have no old. Eventually, I was put back on I am the captain of the swim team memory of it afterward. This incredimedication for obsessive-compulsive and have swam in several high-level bly scary event affects everyone tendencies and remained on these meets. My times continue to imaround you, but you are strangely prountil I was 15, at which time I told my prove, which indicates that the next tected. I have never witnessed another parents I no longer needed them, and few years should be my best. Last person having a seizure, so I have no they agreed. season I was the team statistician idea what it looks like. I wish I could To say I was in special education for varsity football. It was through say the same for my older brother, my whole life is an understatement. this experience that I realized my Marty. Many times he cared for me When I was three, they didn’t even gift: I have an incredible ability to when I was seizing, laying me down, have schools for kids like me. I retain sports facts. I have always protecting my head, and calling 911. wasn’t a behavioral problem; I was loved sports, with football, baseball, At the age of three, I was enrolled W Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 COMMENT and basketball being my favorites. It is this interest and gift that led me to my current goal of wanting to study sports management and broadcasting in college. Current testing indicates that my IQ is within the normal range, but this test does not measure my will or determination. My experience in high school continues to help me realize that I am willing to work twice as hard as most of my classmates. I still struggle with final exams, but I am more skilled with day-to-day study habits. Academic growth is always my top priority, with swimming being a close second. My high school experience has taught me many things, but the most important is that success is completely in my hands. I know I will not be sorting screws, because I have the desire to be great! ✦ ON ANY ARTICLE AT Asthma (the Price of Life) Inhale Exhale I remind Puff 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8… 9… 10 … Medicine flows Through Trachea Larynx Or was it pharynx To alveoli Clearing airways Letting oxygen through To the slowly Pulsating Beast. Giving it Renewed Life Vigor So its Eternal Hunger Craving For affection Attention Love Can go on Because that’s the price Of life. by Lizzy Buckingham, Memphis, TN TEENINK.COM AAttention t t e n t i o n FFilmmakers! ilmmakers! VVid i d eeoo PProduc r o d u c ttion i o n CCamps amps LLocated o c a t e d aat: t: S t a n f o r d University University Stanford UC U C Berkeley Berkeley Reg R e g uula l a r aand n d AAdva d v a nnce ced SSes e s sions s i o n s Av A v ailab a i l a b le le 5510-548-6612 10-548-6612 wwww w w ..educ e d u c aationunlimited.com tio n un limited .co m INSTITUTE F O R YO U N G W R I T E R S JUNE 23∫ JULY 1, 2012 University of Massachusetts Amherst WORKSHOPS in POETRY & FICTION Q &A s ❖ READINGS BOOKMAKING ❖ PERFORMANCE see website for details www.umass.edu/juniperyoungwriters Ocean Studies Acadia Institute of Oceanography Seeks future biologists, geologists & chemists. Spend 2 weeks on the coast of Maine. Hands-on advanced programs for students 15-18. All marine environments. Co-ed. Professional staff. Since 1975. Contact: Sheryl Gilmore, Director Seal Harbor, ME 04675 1-800-375-0058 email:info@acadiainstitute.com www.acadiainstitute.com Located Located onon beautiful beautiful Mt. Mt. Desert Deser t Island, Island,ME ME @HSLPU:\TTLY :THY[ 0UZ\TTLY@HSLVMMLYZV]LY M\SSJYLKP[JV\YZLZWHJRLKPU[V [^VPU[LUZP]LMP]L^LLRZLZZPVUZ-YVT 7O`ZPJZ[V7OPSVZVWO`@HSLJSHZZLZ VMMLYHJOHSSLUNPUNZ\TTLYL_WLYPLUJL VU[OLOPZ[VYPJ@HSLJHTW\Z -\SS@HSL<UP]LYZP[`JYLKP[ ;^V-P]L^LLRZLZZPVUZ! 1\UL1\S`VY1\S` (\N\Z[ 9LZPKLU[PHSJVSSLNLOV\ZPUNH]HPSHISL Yale Summer Session :LL^LIZP[LMVYKL[HPSZHUKHWWSPJH[PVUYLX\PYLTLU[Z 2012 experience Yale } summer.yale.edu email: summer.session@yale.edu 203-432-2430 AlfredUniversity Creative Writing S U M M E R I N S T I T U T E S These exciting institutes provide an introduction to four of the most important and powerful genres: poetry, short fiction, creative non-fiction and drama. High school students from all over the country come to Alfred University each summer to participate in these fascinating programs. Experience academic excellence and the joy of discovery at Alfred University this summer! Office of Summer Programs Alfred University Alfred, NY 14802 Phone: 607-871-2612 Email: summerpro@alfred.edu www.alfred.edu/summer BARD COLLEGE at SIMON’S ROCK CCreative r e a t i v e WWriting r i t i n g I nnstitute st it ute 2201 0 1 SSessions e s s i o n s Located L o c a t e d at: at: UUCC B erkeley e r k e l e y & S tanford t a n f o r d Univer U n i v e r sity s ity YOUNG WRITERS WORKSHOP July 22 – August 11, 2012 S eeminars m i n a r s iinclude: nclude: Poetry P o e t r y * SShort h o r t SStories tories Three Weeks of Writing, Thinking, Imagining "How can I know what I think till I see what I say?" -- E.M. Forster www.simons-rock.edu/young-writers NNon o n --fict f i c t iion o n * PPlaywriting lay writ in g 5510-548-6612 10-548-6612 wwww w w ..educ e d u c aationunlimited.com tio n un limited . com F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 11 true love Patchwork by Catherine Malcynsky, Chester, CT unoriginal, and predictable, like every other book t was a patchwork blanket. Just a sheet of fabric, on the shelf. But you said you liked my pages and torn and sewn and stitched a hundred times, then that my words kept you on your toes. I’d told you folded up and tossed over a chair in the corner of once that you liked complicated things, and you the world. told me that was why you liked me. Before I met you, my front yard was dull. I know, When you first held my hand, you picked the it sounds weird. But the trees were dead and the patchwork blanket up off the floor. It was cold beroses were dry and the fingers of winter were still tween your fingers, but I hope it felt soft. You studdragging through the mulch. You hadn’t come yet to ied every square of fabric, quilted into a forgotten drape silly string all over the garden and the sidemasterpiece, and memorized every wrinkle and walk, or to shower the driveway in a thousand sharp tear. And I loved you right then, when I was pieces of glass. You hadn’t come yet, and my front wrapped around your fingers. yard looked tired. It didn’t look like Spiderman had You asked me once if someone had thrown up on it yet, and my feet didn’t gotten sick of me before. I thought of sting when I walked out to my car. the boy who called himself Superman, Before you sat next to me and gave I thought I and the others before him who had me a pencil you did not borrow, the tugged on my strings until patches of blanket was wrinkled and torn. A boy was simple, me had come loose. I couldn’t explain had wrapped it around his body like a unoriginal it to you, even though it would feel cape, calling himself Superman, and good to have you understand. But you then had changed his mind and torn a understood just fine anyway, and you patch out – the patch of fabric that traced shapes on my skin with your fingertips. You looked like my Halloween costume and smelled like pressed your lips to my forehead and said, “Well, him – and he tossed the blanket aside. I’ll just have to show you how much I like you.” I asked you once if you were sick of me. You When you came into my room that night, you laughed. Silly me, for thinking that after five days of saw the blanket on the floor. You picked it up and my face, you might want to look at someone else’s. sat beside me, draping the quilt across our bodies. Silly me, for thinking that you would tell me even if You held me against you beneath the broken and you did. But you smiled and said you didn’t think it repaired pieces of fabric, all sewn together to was possible to get sick of me, and swore that you keep us warm. You liked that blanket, every tatter never thought you would. I appreciated that you and tear, and so I gave it to you. You took it with thought I would believe that. To me, it was only a you, and I hope it kept you warm. I hope you matter of time. breathed in the smell of me that clung to it. Before you told me I was, I never thought of It was just a patchwork blanket. But in your myself as complicated. I thought I was simple, hands, it didn’t look as battered. You sewed the tears I I Want an Honest Poem I want an honest poem, where “I did it on purpose” and “Yes, it’s my fault” are dutifully wed, wrapped in a honeyed-moon and in a few years “It’ll never happen again” poem is born. Truthfully, I could use an honest poem so that emotions can gaze upon metaphors with unconditional love and tell them those jeans are not flattering, and say so because they care. Photo by Katya Kantar, Westfield, IN closed and cut off the loose strings. You patched on new fabric where pieces were missing, and you made the blanket whole and new. I was just a patchwork blanket, forgotten and tossed over some chair in the corner of the world. And then I met you. ✦ Yes, I dream of an honest poem so that similes are not subtle but as potent as the scent of another woman’s perfume or loud like lipstick stains on a white collar. No, I don’t want my similes to stay silent for the sake of the kids. I want a poem so honest it cries. With tears woven in stanzas and stanzas woven in tears, a Matt Damon in “Good Will Hunting” poem where what we’ve seen and where we’ve Ben Affleck’s our sensitivity and it is not our fault poem. We are just victims of ourselves poem. Photo by Holly Cooper, Mole Creek, Australia 12 Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 I want a deliberately honest poem that admits even though all the world is a stage, the audience Jekylls us from time to time to the point of Hyding ourselves and we can’t help that sometimes we give in poem. COMMENT We all wear masks poem. Any doctor can see that. I want a poem so vulnerably honest, that it … hesitates before exposing its soul and st-st-stutters when it talks to a pr-pr-pretty girl and asks a lot of questions when it’s nervous poem why are we here where do we go why is it I would do anything for you, even write you an honest poem, but you can’t seem to return the feeling poem I want a poem so free of deceit, you say our hearts beat the same, and even though we can’t be together we always are poem. You feel like home poem. But we’re not like that poem. So maybe I just want a love poem. by Jenzo DuQue, Crown Point, IN ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM W hat were you doing a year ago? You sat in the second row of the clarinet section, listlessly staring ahead, probably wondering when the period would end. I watched you, only a couple of feet away. But the distance between us stretched for miles. What are you thinking? I used to wonder. Look at me! I only dared to hope. An entire year has passed, and here we are, separated by real distance. You’re happy where you are, and me, I’m all right. I manage. What were your dreams a year ago? You had ninth and tenth period free and spent your time with friends. by Grace Zhou, Douglaston, NY I was stuck in the research room, staring into the depths of a microscope. Were you happy then? For months I was so near but never attempted more; I regret it always. I think that maybe if we had had more time together we’d be somewhere different now. But I’m tired of what-ifs. I’m tired of wondering, because now I know. You weren’t available a year ago. You’re still, in a sense, not available now. Yet I keep staring. I watched and observed you a year ago and I’m still doing it. Some things never change; I didn’t change. Or perhaps I did but I can’t see it because retrospect hasn’t kicked in yet. Memory Thief The trophies I have of you are not written in photographs or notes. Not in tape recordings or sound bites, and our movie is about a German serial killer with a penchant for whistling. But I’ve been a memory thief for quite some time now, and I want every sense of you seared into my temporal lobe. Your eyes after you’ve been crying are gleaming malachite cobblestones in the gray downpour. You don’t show teeth when you really smile, your lips pink as sunrise barely part. Sweat at your temple curls dark your hair, and I tilt your chin up for a feather’s kiss. A Geek’s Guide to Love by Maia Silber, Cortlandt Manor, NY plan the date. (Date [n]: A word used by t’s spring. The sun is shining, the birds non-geeks that refers to socializing with are singing, and love is in the air. Perone’s significant other outside of school.) haps you’ve been noticing how cute that Despite the fact that a date takes up hours of boy in your AP biology class looks without precious studying time, it seems to be a his protective goggles on, or maybe how very popular activity. But don’t worry – you that girl in your SAT prep classes (that can plan a date with just the right mix of you’re retaking just to be safe, even though academics and romance. you got a 2300 the first time) has been Many geeks accompany each other to the sporting a sexy new backpack, equipped library, where a romantic afternoon can be with an extra pocket for a mini dictionary spent reading Shakespeare’s love poems or and graphing calculator. Yes, love is all researching courtship in the Middle Ages. If around us, and we’re all dying to find that you get tired of the library (as if special someone. that’s possible), you can always Now, we geeks are not known for our social skills, We geeks are take your special someone to the museum and perhaps share but with a couple of easy tips, not known for an ice cream while discussing you’ll be able to get a date techniques of post-Impresfaster than you can complete our social skills the sionism. Or if the geek you’re a complex trigonometric interested in is more of a homeequation. (Trig is easy. We body, you can just spend some time staring mastered that in third grade.) into each other’s eyes, thinking deeply First you need a catchy pick-up line. For about the electro-chemical impulses in your example, you could approach that attractive photoreceptors that connect light with girl/boy in your chemistry class and say, movement. “You must be really electronegative, beIf all goes well, you’ll soon be involved in cause I’m highly attracted to you.” Or if it’s a whirlwind romance with the geek of your a physics student who catches your eye, you dreams. It might not seem as great as could try, “I think I’m falling for you, and achieving a 4.0 GPA or writing the perfect it’s not just because of Newton’s law of uniresearch paper, but studies have shown that versal gravitation.” No sexy supergeek will those with life partners live longer on averbe able to resist your charm. age. (Yay, more studying time!) So go polish Now that you’ve successfully asked out that pocket protector and get out there! ✦ the guy/girl of your dreams, it’s time to I I swallow down the earthquake sounds you make, a laugh and a growl and a moan like a landslide in your white throat. I draw your kiss with my teeth like a bee sting, good and painful. I breathe your air like the atmosphere of a different place, stepping out of a plane and “this is Africa, this is somewhere else.” Salt and sweet and hot like foods never tasted, wine never drunk, alien, you smell like exploring a new planet, a new star. You sparkle, effervesce, a shock through my teeth like purple cocktails, electric buzz over my skin, pain and strange sherbet powder static on a tongue. A blue lightning jolt that rewires me to you, sent through synapses, every one, branding you to my tongue. My palms and fingers and nails know you. I learn you, your movements and shivers and luminescent shudders, the width of a joint in teeth, the scrape of callous or soft of hair on scalp, burning pathways through my brain. YOU. by Beatrice Waterhouse, Santa Rosa, CA LINK YOUR TEENINK.COM ACCOUNT TO A whole year of memories: good, that zipped and zoomed through my bad, terrifyingly real. A year of expestomach as you held my hand for the riences just waiting to be revisited first time are imprinted in my mind. five years from now. I look back and The cuddling in the park, cold as it watch her fall in love with you. I see was, romantic as can be, is forever enher walk along a road that could have graved in my heart. I looked at us in been better. Half a year of waiting, the reflection of the building. You three months of happiness, the rest, were handsome, tall, and illuminated pain. Was it worth it? Was the year by the sun, and I stood next to you, amazingly beautiful? fingers intertwined and Yes. Could things have gloriously moved by the I watched and image in front of my been different if I had changed what I did? beauty. observed you a eyes: Yes. Could it have Three hundred and been better? No. Nothsixty-five days, that’s year ago and ing is better than long it’s been. Or I’m still doing it how knowing that there is maybe a bit more since I potential to love. Nothfirst saw you in class. A ing is greater than waking up in the lot has changed; you’re no longer inmorning to someone’s face in my nocent and I, I’m no longer cynical. mind. Nothing compares to the soarYou changed me, more than I like. ing feeling of a first kiss. I would You gave me what I was looking for: change nothing. redemption. To this day, I love you, A whole year of growing up – I’m more than words can express. I’m finally an adult. I experienced the thankful to have met you – so even magical moment of being kissed in though I can’t remember the day that the rain. I explored the thrill of a I first laid eyes on you, and though movie date. The fluttering butterflies we’re not together, happy one year. ✦ true love 365 Days FACEBOOK F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 13 true love Waiting by Coral More, No. Vancouver, BC, Canada him. Head over heels, irrevocably, painfully, t was evening on a Saturday and I was heart wrenchingly in love. And want to running late. Flustered, I clutched my know the funny part? I loved every second bag with my free hand and darted across of it. He loves my smile and he loves my the narrow, crazy streets. Fair lights bubbled family and he will wait for me. He makes up like rainbow sparklers in front of my me pinky promises and kisses me in the rain. eyes. My feet, clad in navy ballet slippers, With a rainbow and a sunset, no less. squished across the grass and into the midst This picture-book-perfect love is a new of the tourists in belly tops and braided hair experience for me, but I can’t say I don’t adorned with flowers. As I passed our meetlike it. I deserve devotion. I deserve this boy ing spot (he wasn’t there) and walked up the who will give his heart to me, aisle between the rows of fair and he deserves me. He derides, I saw his Mohawk hair bobbing in the crowd, his head In long-distance serves to hold my heart the way he holds me, because I searching. I was twenty minrelationships, it’s know he won’t let go without a utes late, but he waited. Our hearts fold perfectly In long-distance relationall about waiting fight. together like origami paper, ships, it’s all about waiting. and our hands are perfect puzWaiting for an Internet conzle pieces. And when I look into his eyes, I nection. Waiting for a letter, a postcard, a trust him. phone call. Waiting and saving and hoping I want to spend more evenings on the for a plane ticket. You spend hours of your couch with him, just sitting there in perfect life waiting, traveling, missing. But in the silence, because I’ve never been happier end, it’s worth waiting for something as with anyone. These butterflies are crazy; close to perfect as a 75% off sale at River every time he breathes, my heart jumps Island. Honestly, the fact that I know he will a beat. wait for me is enough to staple my heart toFour thousand miles is a long way. An gether until I see him again. eight-hour time difference is difficult, to say the least. Internet connections are unreliable and post offices go on strike. Four months between visits is a long time to wait, and a year is a long time to wait for him to move here. But in the long haul, what is a year? It’s a blip in the flow, an ebb in the tide. It’s not enough to fracture this love. Yeah, I miss him so much it’s hard to take sometimes. I have to let myself remember our time together in mediated gasps, in intervals and stretches that aren’t long enough to cause my heart any further damage. The one thing that keeps me believing? The fact that he makes me so happy that missing him doesn’t cancel out the happiness. ✦ I Charm Photo by Kebree Alyzandra, Bartlesville, OK I’ve never been a strong believer in love at first sight. I criticize friends who fall head over heels on the first date, and bathe in bitterness about love songs and Shakespearean plays that always seem to have a tragic ending. But something clicked with Connor. Something clicked for both of us, like a latch falling into place or that cracking sound when a tennis racket hits the ball. Spot on. Perfect. Even though I’ve always preferred older guys and he’s a year younger. Even though I wanted a summer fling and got true love. Even though he’s the nephew of the wife of my uncle, and that’s undeniably weird. Even though I tell myself I’m done with falling in love, I’m not. It took me five days to fall in love with 14 Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 You took my hands Though they were cold, Redeemed my body Young for old, Returned my silver Hair to gold And said it was a dream. You stole the shadow From my eyes, Replaced the dark With starry skies, Then softly laughed At my surprise And said inhale the theme. You kissed a smile From every frown, Our bodies danced In eiderdown. We fell so deep As if to drown In passion’s racing stream. by Carly Pierre, Stamford, CT Art by Jessie Archer, Lawrenceville, GA In a Matter of Eight Minutes There’s a boy sitting in front of me. One table up, two chairs to the right. I use my pencil to help me squint. He’s got nice hair. If only his stupid hand would quit blocking his face. I think he’s doing homework. Looks like math. I hate math. It’s too quiet in here. He’s texting someone. Probably his girlfriend. I’ll bet she likes math. His leg is twitching, and he’s sitting at the edge of his chair. He looks stressed. Or maybe disciplined. Intently studying his calculator. What is he really thinking? About his math, Or his girlfriend, Or that girl in the blue sweater One table down from him? He can probably hear every scratch of my pencil. I get out my glasses to help me see. Is that too obvious? Yeah, he’s definitely cute. But I don’t think he’s all that good at math, Because he’s counting on his fingers. Legs outstretched, Penny loafers lazily erected off of his feet. He touches his face a lot. Insecure, maybe? Or just thoughtful … He’s fidgety. He’s texting again. I wonder if his girlfriend wears blue sweaters. I bet he dreams of going to Princeton, or Harvard, | or Stanford. He sees a girl in a pink shirt run across the room. He smiles. (He has a beautiful smile) Maybe he dreams of having a family. I hope he marries someone Whom he meets at Harvard I hope they have a daughter Who likes to wear pink shirts (Or maybe blue sweaters) And I hope, one day, his daughter meets a boy Who is one table up And two chairs to the right. by Tori Sargent, Middlefield, OH COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM by Brian Fanney, Gaithersburg, MD we tried again. We drove to Charlottesville, down the Blue Ridge hat about the minute chance that we At heart, I’m far more of an emotional person Parkway to Myrtle Beach, and then to the Outer actually survive senior year and this than Julie. She is the logical one, the cold one, the Banks and Chapel Hill. It was 75 degrees on the last summer?” I said. thinker. Our biggest arguments have been about day of our road trip. We were listening to the radio “That doesn’t seem likely,” Julie said. whether it is better to be guided by our minds or our and I had the T-tops off my freshly waxed Firebird “But what if it happens?” hearts. Clearly, we were not normal. and a Slurpee in my hand. “Stop thinking so much.” But what bothers me is the thought: what if I am “Why does everything keep breaking?” I yelled. “I don’t think I want to date in college,” I said. not the emotional one? What if I am the cold one? “You mean in our relationship?” Julie asked. The thing I’ve always liked/hated about Julie is What if I am everything I argued against? What if I “I mean in my damn car. Relationships can be that she is an absolute pragmatist. She isn’t romanam a penny too and my personality has its own dark healed. My car requires time, pain, and money. tic, and it’s reassuring to know exactly where I stand side that must accompany what’s good about me? You’re relatively cheap.” at any given time. Trying again was hard. During the school trip to “Why did you buy a 13-year-old Pontiac?” So many of Julie’s behaviors have both a light Europe, we weren’t back together “Because it’s awesome,” I replied. side and a dark side. Because of this, I always imagyet, but I was sick and she took care “Well, the CD player is skipping, the ined her personality as a penny. I couldn’t have of me. When we walked into stores, pop-up headlights don’t work, we heads and not tails. I couldn’t have pragmatism and I did not know we played a game. I would pick out don’t have turn signals, we can’t open logic but also sentimentality and romanticism. her top three favorite articles of the trunk, and the sun visor just fell in But I can never forget that I was the one who how easily our clothing, and if I got one right, I my lap.” spoke the words that broke us up more than a year love could won. I was actually fairly good at it, “We don’t really need the sun visor. later. The simple phrase “I don’t think I want to date because Julie’s style is pretty simple. Although the CD player is unfortunate. in college” turned out to be so much more signifidissipate She likes bright clothes with flowers Plus I have a tool kit and I’m a future cant than I ever thought. and anything with a Spanish influjournalism major,” I coolly added. And yet, I had broken up with her before. ence. Her clothing reflects her personality. “What could possibly go wrong?” I couldn’t always stand Julie’s degree of detachToward the end of the trip, we walked into one She just shook her head and turned up the radio. ment. I was tired of always trying to reach out. I was store, and I was trying to describe how a shirt would “The car’s still moving, we have one sun visor, disgusted that I felt so far from her after a couple look on her. I went on and on about her body type and I’m with you,” Julie said. “Everything’s okay.” months of dating and years of friendship. and how it would make her look beautiful, and sudI thought for a second and then replied, “Like I When she told me nonchalantly that her youth denly she kissed me on the cheek. It was so powersaid, you’re relatively easy.” group was the only reason she was glad she didn’t ful that I was speechless. We had our moments and our chemistry, freaks graduate early, I was frustrated and jealous. But It took months to get back together from there, but though we may have been. And it was, to summamost of all, I was done. I always consider that innocent kiss the turning rize, a damn good day. I tried to talk to her about it, but it wasn’t going point. We talked about the future during my time in I popped in a mix tape and Semisonic’s “Closing anywhere, so I gave up. I was breaking up with her relationship purgatory, and that’s when I told her I Time” blared through the speakers: “Every new bebecause I was unhappy and didn’t see any other ginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” didn’t want to date in college. Little did I know that choice. I could only see half of the penny. My summer ended when I watched the girl I this statement was both more innocent and more sigAs I sat with her in my car outside Borders, ready loved leave for college. I did not know the meaning nificant than Julie’s lips on my cheek. to say those final words, a truck crashed into us. I of bittersweet before that moment. I did not know I asked myself, “What do we live for, if not to should have taken it as a sign. God was clearly how easily our love could dissipate. I cannot forget make memories, despite whatever pain may come of pissed. Instead we broke up a week later, and I that it was me and not her who spoke the words that them?” started to date someone else a month later. broke us up twice. I have not yet been able to figure If it wasn’t some inherent warmth that made her This was not my proudest moment. out whether I regret giving in to cold-hearted logic. take me back, then she must have been either dumb A month after that, my new relationship turned More significantly, I do not know which side of or crazy. Logic should have told her to run. But she out to be an unmitigated disaster and mercifully the penny this makes me. I hope one day I will be gave me a second chance. She loved imploded. I took some quality alonesure that I made the right choice, but throughout this me far better than I loved her. In our time. first year of college, my mind has been awash in rerelationship, we were certainly two Months passed, and then Julie and I She was my gret and indecision every day. sides of the same coin. But which side arranged to meet at a local café to talk best friend and The lyrics to “Closing Time” echo continually was me and which side was her? Am I about everything that had happened. through my head. cold or caring? As I approached her, I caught her scent my first love “I know who I want to take me home. Take me If I had ever asked Julie this, her and a tremendous weight hit me in the home.” ✦ first question would have been “Why chest. I stopped walking. I was frozen. am I a penny and not a quarter? Is that all I am to I guess what I was perceiving was shampoo, beyou?” cause Julie is an all-natural kind of girl. I couldn’t But here’s what I know. Julie found stand it when she wore makeup, which thankfully a penny on the road heads-down. She she only did for dances. Makeup looked like plastic turned it over to make it good luck. on this girl’s face. Perfume would only have been a She made me better. further insult. The summer before I left for college I can’t begin to outline all the memories that small was the best of my life. Our relationsensory reaction set off in me. My heart beat in difship was exponentially stronger than it ferent directions as my mind raced. I thought several had ever been. She was my best friend things, the most important being that Julie had loved and my first love. She put up with my me as best as she knew how, and that was all I could quirks and I had faith in her love. I have ever asked for. I had more faith in this fact than don’t think I had ever had faith in anyI had in God, and I knew that I wanted her back. thing before I had faith in her. Weeks later I told Julie, for the first time, that I She and I traveled over the summer. loved her. I hadn’t said it in the six months we had We camped near Frank Lloyd dated. In fact, I had never said it to anyone else. I Wright’s “Falling Water” because always hated the way others threw that term around. Julie was interested in architecture. I I wanted it to mean something. “Chasing Cars” by remember watching “Toy Story 3” at a Snow Patrol played in my head – “Those three drive-in and being thankful that no words, said too much, but not enough.” one but Julie could see my man-tears I think that she had been waiting to hear it. It must Photo by Maria LaFauci, Boise, ID at the end. have counted for something because, miraculously, “W LINK YOUR TEENINK.COM ACCOUNT TO FACEBOOK F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 true love Pennies • Teen Ink 15 sports The Art of Fighting I don’t know why fighting is frowned upon. It is a primal, visceral experience that releases a number of chemicals in your body that are designed to make you feel good. And yet, in modern society, we’re supposed to shy away from fighting. We’re supposed to suppress these urges that are as old as the human race itself. That’s why I was shocked to find myself standing outside of a tattoo parlor one cold February day, a duffel bag in hand. I knew that in the basement was a dingy little Photo by Gemma Arioli, Lubbock, TX gym containing roughly a dozen professional fighters. My plan that day was, in essence, to go down there and let them fight me. I am a very self-confident person; I can’t remember ever backing down from a challenge. I had just finished wrestling season, and I thought I was in great shape. So I threw the door open and stormed down to the gym. Inside I found some of the most intense people I’d ever seen in my life. They were pounding on heavy bags, sparring, shadow-boxing, and wrestling. They barely noticed me, which was fine with me. I found the owner, Norm, in the corner, teaching Muay Thai (a combat sport from Thailand) to a group of men. It was an intense session, with all of the men sweating and grunting. The thunder clap when a man kicked the mitts was deafening. After he finished, I introduced myself. Although Norm is not a large man, he has the ability to fill a room with his presence. Quiet determination radiated from his fierce eyes. His dark skin looked like beaten leather. I outweighed him by 30 pounds easily, but I still found myself slightly intimidated by this man who had dedicated his life to the art of fighting. 16 Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 by Josh Burkhard, Saint Joseph, MI Locking me in his steely gaze, Bam’s. He twisted my body into a sounds, those men became like brothNorm asked if I had any experience in pretzel, locking me in what I later ers to me, and all because I was willMixed Martial Arts, or MMA. Unsure learned was called a triangle choke. I ing to weather the initial beatings. whether a wrestling background carfought against the blackness for what Not everybody I saw come down ried much weight in this room of profelt like eternity. those stairs was as passionate as I fessional tough guys, I played it It was closer to three minutes. was. I saw many arrive with my same down, simply telling him I had wresFinally I had to tap out. That was cocky attitude, and watched Bam and tled without any specifics. After askwhen Norm blew the whistle. It was Ed put them through the ringer too. I ing about my height, weight, and time to begin warming up. Class hadsaw perhaps two of them return. body fat percentage, he looked me up n’t even started yet, and I had already Then, after three months, my definand down. He then snapped his finbeen given two of the most severe ing moment came. It was a typical gers and waved over two of the meanbeatings of my life. It was time to Monday practice. Everybody was est-looking men I had ever seen. make a choice: I could slink out to stretching and talking about the fights They smirked as they swaggered lick my wounds and pretend I’d never that happened over the weekend, over. They were utterly confident, even been there, or I when the door flew open and I could tell that they were thrilled could stick it out for and a new guy came to have some fresh meat to play with. the practice. in. He was In modern society, strutting I was instructed to box with the first It wasn’t even a big – around six foot six man, Ed. With the second, who was close; I chose to pracwe’re supposed and 260 pounds – but he called Bam, I was to do a form of tice with them. Mushad clearly gelled his to shy away grappling where the goal is to cause cles tightening, head hair before practice and your opponent so much pain that you throbbing, and body his arm band tattoo from fighting make him quit. This is called submisaching, I threw myself screamed “poser.” He sion grappling. wholeheartedly into swaggered over to Norm I strapped on a pair of gloves and the push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups, tire and introduced himself as “The shoved in my mouthpiece, ready to flips, and sprawls. We must have Wrecking Ball.” show these guys exactly what I was spent an hour on that alone. But I Norm put on his most serious face made of. When the buzzer went off, I could see that Norm was impressed and shook his hand. Everybody in the touched gloves with Ed, then immethat I hadn’t given up. I got a chance room had stopped their warm-ups bediately began firing off punches with to talk to him briefly before the next cause they knew what was coming: murderous intent. I had been in my set of drills, and found out that nine Norm was going to call over Bam and fair share of scrapes, but I knew nothof every ten who come to the gym Ed. ing about the science behind throwdon’t make it past the initial rounds of Norm snapped his fingers to silence ing a punch, and Ed easily avoided sparring. That gave me the extra boost the room and yelled for Bam to submy blows with a series of deft head I needed to finish the class. mission grapple with the guy. But inmovements. I lay in a heap on the mat, sucking stead of Ed, Norm called my name. I He shot back with a single punch in gallon-sized gulps of air and chugjogged over, not completely sure what that went straight down the barrel. It ging water, when Ed walked over. I was doing there. Norm said he connected flush with my nose, and I Thinking he wanted to spar again, I wanted me to spar with the guy. I was felt like I had been hit with a bat. I began to put on my gloves. Instead, a little nervous, but I nodded and kept fighting, but less aggressively. he gave me tips on how to defend jammed in my mouthpiece. The wild punches stopped, and I foagainst certain punches and how to I touched gloves with Mr. Wreckcused on keeping my face out of the bob and weave my head. He said that ing Ball, and he started throwing wild way. My hands stayed up high, and he looked forward to seeing me tohay-makers at me. I used slight head my chin stayed tucked in close to my morrow. I hadn’t even thought about movements and easily avoided them. chest. I kept circling Ed, but knowing tomorrow. Then I saw my opening – he dropped nothing about boxing, I was circling When I woke up the next morning his right arm after throwing a punch – into his power hand. It didn’t take Ed every inch of my body was sore. I had and I quickly threw a left hook with long to realize that I had no business a black eye and was covered in everything I had. It connected flush being in the ring with him, and he bruises. I knew that the last thing I on his chin and he went down hard, toned it down a bit. He needed was to go back out cold. The entire room erupted into stopped trying to reto the gym, but a few cheers. arrange my face and short hours later I found The Wrecking Ball didn’t even I knew nothing myself walking down focused instead on my make it to submission grappling. He footwork and stance, came to a few minutes later and imabout the science those stairs toward what occasionally stopping I was sure was going to mediately scrambled out of the gym. behind throwing be another beating. And to give me pointers. He had obviously seen enough. From Regardless of all my I have to tell you, it’s that point on, Norm used me to break a punch mistakes, and relying much harder to go back in the new guys; I was a little bigger heavily on a strong a second time, because than Ed, but most guys thought they chin and pure stubbornness, I suryou know what is waiting for you could take me simply because I was vived the initial five minutes of boxdown there. The first time I could preyoung. Only two got past my initiaing. However, I had forgotten all tend I was going to be the toughest tion, and they’re some of the best about Bam and the submission grapguy, when in reality I wasn’t even guys we have now. pling. I was heading for my water close. As for me, I’m currently waiting bottle when I heard the buzzer. The But for some reason, I went back, until the end of wrestling season benext thing I remember was being and I continued the day after that too, fore I go back. I’ve been talking to slammed onto the mat. Bam was and the day after that, until eventually Norm, and he said that if my parents freakishly strong and threw me I began looking forward to those agree, he could get me my first pro around like a rag doll. I put up as classes. I started noticing openings in fight as early as July. Then I’ll have a much of a fight as I could, but it was other people’s defense, and even whole new challenge ahead of me. ✦ no use. This was not my world; it was started winning rounds. As crazy as it COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM by Irina Huang, New City, NY passing commuters, gently shaking an aluminum lease, Mom. It’s on sale for $24.99! It’s can. Printed in fading but delicate Chinese handwritAbercrombie, and you know how expening was the word “money.” Her hair was greasy and sive that store is!” I whined, my eyes uncombed; her clothes were soiled. I couldn’t bebrimming with tears. lieve what I was seeing. I felt my throat tighten as I “Exactly. I don’t see why you can’t just get the looked at her younger brother, sprawled in her arms. one at Gap for five bucks! You can get five for the At most, he was two years old. Like his sister, the price of that one at Abercrombie.” boy’s scraps of clothing were covered in dirt. Trem“But it’s not Abercrombie!” I stormed out of the bling, I reached for my shopping bags that now room. She just didn’t understand. seemed to weigh a million pounds. I moved closer. That was the summer of 2007, and my 11-yearI could see the girl had a water bottle that was alold mind was polluted with its obsession over demost empty. Her forehead was beaded with sweat as signer clothes and Coach handbags. Every part of she lifted the bottle to the boy’s lips. His tears me longed to be at the mall buying the latest fashstopped and for a moment, so did the world around ions. Instead, I was trapped on an airplane dragging me. He smiled, and I witnessed happiness in its me halfway across the world to Beijing, China. purest form. The girl’s face broke into Once off the plane, I knew China a smile too, and I broke into tears. I was different from any place I had wanted so badly to say something to ever been. People seemed conservaI didn’t want her. I wanted to walk over and hug her. tive and appreciative. An unfinished to believe that I wanted to tell her that I loved her. I sandwich belonged in the fridge, wanted to do so much. never abandoned in a garbage can. At children lived She coaxed the little boy to sleep. the marketplace, a shopper would spend countless minutes haggling shattered lives Rocked between her delicate knees, his expression eased from stressed to with a storekeeper just to save a Chiserene. A tear slid down the girl’s face, nese dollar or two. leaving a brown streak on her cheek. I covered my My mom and I spent a full Sunday afternoon mouth to keep from screaming. How could children emptying her wallet at a local mall. Our arms filled be living like this when all I cared about were with bags of clothing and shoes, we exited the shopclothes and shoes? As if she felt my connection with ping center to be immediately strangled by the stiher, the girl looked up. Her eyes shot emotions at me fling heat of a typical Beijing day. all at once: anger, frustration, and loneliness. “Ice cream?” my mom suggested. For days, all I could think about was the girl and “Sounds good,” I replied. We found a shaded area her brother. As if it wasn’t enough to handle, my to sit, and my thoughts drifted to the shirt I had just aunt took my family out to dinner one night. As we bought, perfect for the first day of school. Everyone pulled up to the fancy restaurant, my jaw dropped. It at school is going to be so jealous. This shirt is to die was beautiful; the massive chandelier hanging in the for! Mid-thought, something caught my attention. doorway pierced the surrounding night. My eyes were drawn to the nearby subway stairA boy of about eight approached the car to tell us well. I had taken those stairs a number of times in where to park. I was uncomfortably close to him, and out of downtown Beijing, but I’d never before our faces and lives divided by the thin car window. I seen the two kids sitting below the handrail. A girl couldn’t help but wonder who he was. I saw his tatof about six or seven hid in the shadows of the tered clothes and his sad brown eyes, but I didn’t “P want to believe that there were children living such shattered lives. “Hold your purse close,” my aunt warned. She pushed past the boy and tugged my hand. As we sat down to dinner, my appetite disappeared. I ate in silence, haunted by the boy’s face. God, why him? He doesn’t deserve this. At the end of dinner, my eyes darted across the table to an untouched plate of food. I silently thanked God and asked the waiter for a take-out box. “For him?” my aunt asked tenderly. I nodded. Stepping out into the heat of Beijing, I looked toward our car. The same boy was standing next to the passenger door, still but alert. I ran over, growing more self-conscious with every step. “Here. This is yours. Eat it, please,” I begged. My American accent seemed to strain my words. Unsure what to expect, I stepped back. Would he want my leftovers, my garbage? Everything seemed to flash before me: the dress I spent hours begging for, the excessive amount of food I’d devoured in the last hour. I was scared. The rustle of the plastic bag shook me from my thoughts. He inspected the container’s contents, then looked up. For a second, I thought I was looking into the eyes of Brian, my little brother. I shivered. “Thank you,” he blurted in an angelic voice. He ran off behind the building and out of sight. That could be Brian. I don’t know what the boy did with the food. Maybe he shared it with his family. Maybe they all enjoyed it. The possibilities were endless. Now, four years later, I wonder if that boy knows I’m writing about him with a full stomach, in an air-conditioned room halfway across the world, in a promising country called America. I wonder if the subway girl has a home. I wonder if she still has that strength I admired – the strength to smile even when the treasures in her life are practically invisible. I wonder if they both know how much they mean to a spoiled young girl like me. ✦ Beulah’s Story community service Spoiled Sponsored by by Katie Collins, Manteno, IL and a pen. I said, “So, start at the beginning.” She took a eulah Corum was 90 years old and dying of lung sip of water and began talking. cancer when I met her. Her sparse cotton-white Words flowed and wrapped around each other, weavhair was meticulously curled, and her lips were ing pictures. I could suddenly see a three-year-old in a painted red. She wore huge bifocals that went down past hospital bed. Tubes snaked from the girl’s left arm, and a her eyes, making her look bug-like. Her arms were younger Beulah clung to her right. A machine screamed folded across her chest, and she wore a pink sweater the death. I watched the tears flooding the creases of with tan trousers. It was burning hot outside, and the Beulah’s cheeks. We were both quiet for a long time. nursing home did not believe in very much air conditionI visited Beulah many times over the next ing. I remember my blue volunteer polo eight weeks. Each time, she would talk and I stuck to my back and my hair looked like ten She taught would listen. She gave me piles and piles of hairdryers had hit it all at once. some with more weight than others, I sat down on her loveseat and crossed my me to step memories, and I complied them all into a scrapbook and legs. As my foot bobbed up and down nervtyped her biography. She held my hand and ously, I asked her how she was doing. “I sat carefully smiled when I presented it to her. at lunch for an hour before my food came. I know that what I did for Beulah would fall I’m ready to get out of this place.” Her apartunder the category of community service. And yet when ment reflected that feeling, with its sparse decoration. I I tell people what I did that summer, no one seems to uncouldn’t see a single personal item anywhere. The only derstand the gift she gave me in return. I was able to see thing that made it different from the rest was the huge a life laid out from beginning to end. I learned that a sinplastic breathing mask tucked under the television cabigle event can melt and spread its colors onto every monet. She caught me staring at it and explained the treatment thereafter. She taught me to step carefully when ments she had to undergo to fight the cancer. I put the needed and to leap high when not. Best of all, she was mask into the cabinet, out of sight. my friend. ✦ The next time I came to see her I brought a journal B Art by Leonora Jew, Placentia, CA LINK YOUR TEENINK.COM ACCOUNT TO FACEBOOK F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 17 Teen Ink • February ’12 • Page 18 ASSUMPTION COLLEGE UA has a rich tradition of excellence in academics, student life and sports. Ranked in the top 50 public universities surveyed by U.S. News & World Report; 9 undergraduate degree-granting schools and colleges; 19:1 student-teacher ratio; all located on a 1,000-acre historic campus. To learn more, visit gobama.ua.edu/teenink. Box 870132 s Tuscaloosa, AL 35487-0132 s 800-933-BAMA Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree Programs 3D Modeling and Animation Multimedia/Web Design Design Illustration Life Drawing Painting Watercolor Painting American Academy of Art 332 S. 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Michigan Chicago, IL 60605 admissions@popmail.colum.edu www.colum.edu DELAWARE VALLEY COLLEGE $%,!7!2% 6!,,%9 #/,,%'% $ELAWARE6ALLEY#OLLEGE 99 Main Street Franklin, MA 02038 Learn to Write: Fiction Writing Department Learn skills to help you publish fiction, creative nonfiction and scripts and to succeed in a wide range of jobs – at one of America’s premier writing programs 50 College Street, South Hadley, MA 01075 www.mtholyoke.edu • Private New England College founded in 1784 • Welcoming atmosphere, easy to make friends • Thorough preparation for a career-targeted job • We place 95% of our students in jobs upon graduation Office of Admissions 61 Sever Street, Worcester, MA 01609 1-508-373-9400 • www.becker.edu CORNELL U N I V E R S I T Y Cornell, as an Ivy League school and a land-grant college, combines two great traditions. A truly American institution, Cornell was founded in 1895 and remains a place where “any person can find instruction in any study.” 410 Thurston Avenue Ithaca, NY 14850 607-255-5241 www.cornell.edu A religiously-affiliated liberal arts college located just outside of Philadelphia offering an outstanding and truly personalized academic experience grounded in an environment of faith. 2945 College Drive Bryn Athyn, PA 19009 267-502-6000 www.brynathyn.edu Dartmouth A member of the Ivy League and widely recognized for the depth, breadth, and flexibility of its undergraduate program, Dartmouth offers students an extraordinary opportunity to collaborate with faculty in the pursuit of their intellectual aspirations. 6016 McNutt Hall Hanover, NH 03755 603-646-2875 www.dartmouth.edu DUQUESNE UNIVERSITY Built on Catholic education values of academic excellence, DeSales University is driven by educators and advisors that inspire performance. 2755 Station Avenue CenterValley, PA 18034 877.4.DESALES www.desales.edu/teenink Harvard offers 6,500 undergraduates an education from distinguished faculty in more than 40 fields in the liberal arts as well as engineering and applied science. 8 Garden Street Cambridge, MA 02138 617-495-1551 www.harvard.edu Academic excellence and global perspective in one of America‘s most “livable” metropolitan areas. 1000 Grand Avenue St. Paul, MN 55105 800-231-7974 www.macalester.edu Add your college to this monthly directory. Call Tyler Ford Teen Ink 617-964-6800 Duquesne offers more than 80 undergraduate programs, more than 140 extracurricular activities and personal attention in an atmosphere of moral and spiritual growth. Ranked by US News among the most affordable private national universities. 600 Forbes Avenue • Pittsburgh, PA 15282 (412) 396-6222 • (800) 456-0590 E-mail: admissions@duq.edu Web: www.admissions.duq.edu A challenging private university for adventurous students seeking an education with global possibilities. Get Where YYou o ou Want To Go www www.hpu.edu/teenink .hpu.edu/teenink Fordham offers the distinctive Jesuit philosophy of education, marked by excellent teaching, intellectual inquiry and care of the whole student, in the capital of the world. www.fordham.edu/tink Located in New York’s stunning Finger Lakes region, Ithaca College provides a first-rate education on a first-name basis. Its Schools of Business, Communications, Health Sciences and Human Performance, Humanities and Sciences, and Music and its interdisciplinary division offer over 100 majors. my.ithaca.edu 100 Job Hall 953 Danby Road Ithaca, NY 14850 800-429-4272 www.ithaca.edu/admission Teen Ink • February ’12 • Page 19 BACHELOR ❘ ASSOCIATE ❘ CERTIFICATE Ohio Northern is a comprehensive university of liberal arts and professional programs offering more than 3,600 students over 70 majors in the colleges of Arts & Sciences, Business Administration, Engineering, Pharmacy and Law. Office of Admissions Ada, OH 45810 1-888-408-4668 www.onu.edu/teen Princeton University Princeton simultaneously strives to be one of the leading research universities and the most outstanding undergraduate college in the world. We provide students with academic, extracurricular and other resources, in a residential community committed to diversity. Princeton, NJ 08544 (609) 258-3060 www.princeton.edu • Nationally ranked liberal arts college • Self-designed and interdepartmental majors • Small classes taught by distinguished faculty • 100+ campus organizations • 23 NCAA Division III sports • A tradition of service-learning 61 S. Sandusky St. • Delaware, OH 43015 800-922-8953 • www.owu.edu Pace University offers talented and ambitious students the opportunity to discover their potential and realize their dreams. Campuses in New York City and Pleasantville, NY. Experience the Power of Pace. Choose from more than 100 career fields. www.pct.edu/ink Talent teaches talent in Pratt’s writing BFA for aspiring young writers. Weekly discussions by guest writers and editors. Nationally recognized college for the arts. Beautiful residential campus minutes from Manhattan. 200 Willoughby Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11205 800-331-0834 • 718-636-3514 email: jaaron@pratt.edu www.pratt.edu For more information call 1-800-847-PACE or email infoctr@pace.edu www.pace.edu A picturesque New England campus, offering programs in Business, Communications, Health, Arts and Sciences, Nursing, Education and Law. Located midway between New York City and Boston with Division I athletics. Consistently rated among the top Regional Colleges in the North in U.S. News & World Report. ST. MARY’S UNIVERSITY SlipperyRock • Personal attention to help you excel • Powerful programs to challenge you to think in new ways • No limits to where St. Mary’s can take you 275 Mt. Carmel Avenue Hamden, CT 06518 1.800.462.1944 www.quinnipiac.edu One Camino Santa Maria San Antonio, TX 78228-8503 800-367-7868 www.stmarytx.edu SRU provides a Rock Solid education. Located just 50 miles north of Pittsburgh, the University is ranked number five in America as a Consumer’s Digest “best value” selection for academic quality at an affordable price. University A distinguished faculty, an innovative curriculum and outstanding undergraduates offer unparalleled opportunities for intellectual growth on a beautiful California campus. Mongtag Hall – 355 Galves St. Stanford, CA 94305 650-723-2091 www.stanford.edu 1 Morrow Way, Slippery Rock, PA 16057 800.SRU.9111 • www.sru.edu SWARTHMORE 500 College Ave. Swarthmore, PA 19081 800-667-3110 www.swarthmore.edu Yale College, the undergraduate body of Yale University, is a highly selective liberal arts college enrolling 5,200 students in over 70 major programs. Residential life is organized around Residential Colleges where students live and eat. P.O. Box 208234 New Haven, CT 06520 203-432-9300 www.yale.edu 1-800-990-8227 www.uccs.edu Located in beautiful northeastern Pennsylvania, Wilkes is an independent institution dedicated to academic excellence, mentoring and hands-on learning. Wilkes offers more than 36 programs in pharmacy, the sciences, liberal arts and business. Check out www.becolonel.com. www.wilkes.edu 84 West South Street Wilkes-Barre, PA 18766 I 1-800-WILKES-U Add your college to this monthly directory. Call Tyler Ford Teen Ink 617-964-6800 Attention Students! Join the Teen Ink Student Advisory Board TeenInk.com/StudentBoard you can go beyond www.upb.pitt.edu • 1-800-872-1787 Bradford, PA 16701 Attention all writers! URI has a great major called “Writing and Rhetoric.” Prepare yourself for a career as a journalist, a novelist, an advertising copywriter, a public relations professional, or an English teacher! Located minutes from RI’s gorgeous beaches. Newman Hall, Kingston, RI 02881 401-874-7100 uri.edu/artsci/writing/ Private, Catholic, liberal arts college founded in 1871 by the Ursuline Sisters. Offers over 30 undergraduate majors and 9 graduate programs. The only womenfocused college in Ohio and one of few in the United States. Ursuline teaches the empowerment of self. 2550 Lander Rd. Pepper Pike, OH 44124 1-888-URSULINE • www.ursuline.edu Columbia College Chicago believes in the power of your creativity, and is proud to offer an education specifically tailored for students—like yourself— who want to pursue a life in the arts. I OVA INN OVAT AT TION N IIN N THE T H E VISUAL, V I S UA L , PERFORMING, P E R FO R M I N G , MEDIA, M E D I A , AND A N D COMMUNICATION C O M M U N I C AT I O N ARTS A RT S Schedule a visit on-line and see how we provide the Schedule rigorous academics and unparalleled rresources esources that will future. turn your talents into a rreal eal futur e. colum.edu/admissions admissions@colum.edu admissions @colum.edu / 312.369.7130 www.TeenInk.com 501 Westminster Avenue Fulton, MO 65251 800-475-3361 • www.westminster-mo.edu P. O. Box 7150 Colorado Springs, CO 80933-7150 Earn a world-renowned degree in a personalized environment. Work with professors who will know your name and your goals. Choose from 41 majors and many research, internship and study-abroad opportunities. Written a Book Lately? Submit Your Novel Online! At Westminster College, you'll engage in a full college experience. Reach your fullest potential – Inside the classroom. And out. Visit us and turn YOUR college thinking inside out. TM PHOTO BY JAMIE ROSKKO A liberal arts college of 1,500 students near Philadelphia, Swarthmore is recognized internationally for its climate of academic excitement and commitment to bettering the world. A college unlike any other. heroes History Teacher • Carmel Valley Middle School Gino Scalo by Morgan Chen, Encinitas, CA B efore I first stepped into the frigid atmosphere of Mr. Scalo’s realm, I pulled on my fur-lined parka and took out my sealskin gloves, well-prepared and ready to brave the cold. Well, actually, I just shivered and tugged at the ends of my T-shirt, wishing I had brought a jacket. I stepped through the door and craned my neck to look for familiar faces that first day of school. Unfortunately, I did not get to sit with my friends since the assigned seats were arranged in alphabetical order. I was forced to sit in the front column of desks while my friends sat far away, in the other half of the frozen tundra of a classroom. I have an abundance of friends who had Mr. Scalo as their history teacher, and I heard he was challenging. I heard his classroom was an icebox. But all my friends described him as funny. Whether they meant odd or humorous, I wasn’t sure. Now I consider him to be both. Mr. Scalo was a contestant on The 21st Annual had slick whiteboards. “Jeopardy” a few years ago. On the His classroom is home to an aglast day of school before winter glomeration of rusty, antique-looking break, he showed us a “special video Swingline staplers that are probably presentation.” Though we did not older than I am. I had never seen a watch the whole show, we saw him stapler like his before. But despite make it past his first day on the show, their apparent age, they have never and we couldn’t help but cheer him broken. Mr. Scalo once joked that on. We were impressed with his Abraham Lincoln had knowledge of presiused one of his staplers. dents’ inaugural Had his tone not been so speeches (to teens this His humor comical, we might have seems the most boring makes history believed him. topic ever), but we were Mr. Scalo never fails to not the least bit sura class to look make us laugh, which is prised. forward to why he still is my favorite Mr. Scalo is undoubtteacher. His humor is irreedly odd in his own way. sistible, and he makes hisInstead of the flexible tory – a subject that some consider document cameras that some teachers bland and boring – a class to look foruse, Mr. Scalo insists on an oldward to. The words in our history school overhead projector that rebook become an enjoyable story when quires transparencies and squeaky told in a clever way. Of course, Mr. markers. In fact, he even told us that Scalo’s talent of speaking in hilarious he refused to change from chalkaccents with edgy humor helps. boards to whiteboards in his previous However, his class is still a chalschool. Eventually, he was forced to lenge for even the brightest students. use them when he moved to teach in We have to memorize the states, their sunny Cali, where the schools already capitals, and their locations at the beginning of the year. This was just the start of a long, hard struggle with memorizing that year. After states, we learned the presidents, from George Washington to Barack Obama, and their vice presidents and terms. This once caused me to have a dream that Justin Bieber changed his name to J. Danforth Quayle (for those who are not familiar with him, Quayle was vice president under George H.W. Bush, the 41st president). We are currently halfway through memorizing 100 important dates in U.S. history. Mr. Scalo is a dynamic teacher, one I am very lucky to have. Though I’ll admit his classroom no longer feels like Antarctica, he is still significantly different from most of my teachers. His way of teaching through humor is appealing and easy to follow, but his challenging requirements keep students on their toes. He is unique in his teaching skills and his quirkiness, which makes him an unequaled mentor in the lessons of yesteryear. ✦ English Teacher • Harlan Independent High School Vickie Ball by Nicholas Howard, Harlan, KY “A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.” – Henry Brooks Adams Educator Year of the Contest Do you have an outstanding teacher, coach, guidance counselor, librarian, or principal? 1) Tell us why your nominee is special. What has your educator done for your class, you, another student, or the community? Be specific. 2) Essays should be between 150 and 500 words. 3) Only junior and senior high school educators are eligible. 4) Include your nominee’s first and last name, position or subject taught, and the school where he/she teaches. Online: TeenInk.com/Submissions or E-mail: Submissions@TeenInk.com Winners and honorable mentions will be announced in the June 2012 issue. Deadline: May 1, 2012 on the first day, I remember Mrs. Ball presenting a humorous PowerPoint slide that compared a student chewing gum to a cow chewing her cud. On another occasion, she showed a Powknow that those who taught me were once taught by others. erPoint illustrating the dangers of misplaced modifiers. As we In that way, one teacher’s influence on a student is a refleclaughed at the funny examples, we learned and became more tion of another teacher’s work. I know that one day the imaware of our own mistakes. As Shakespeare would say, “There pact my teachers have had on me will allow me to impact is a method in the madness.” others. This is one of the many reasons I am privileged to know Mrs. Ball’s experience as a mother helps her build character Mrs. Vickie Ball, English teacher at Harlan Independent High in her students. Those in her classroom are treated more like School. Her influence on my life and my education more than her children than students. She takes time to work with each of qualifies her as Educator of the Year. us individually – something a good mother and a good teacher Regardless of background, Mrs. Ball makes all students beknows to do – ’til we understand the content. She expects all lieve in themselves. I have seen students enter her classroom students to be well-mannered in and out of her classroom, and expecting to breeze by and get on with their lives. However, to develop morals and virtues to guide them in life. what they soon realize is that no one in her classroom will be I also believe Mrs. Ball deserves this award due allowed to “breeze by.” She believes in and ento her outstanding teaching skills. She begins teachcourages her students to the point that they begin ing before the tardy bell rings, making sure that not to believe in themselves. One thing she never alShe takes time a second is wasted in her class. I have experienced lows students to do is tell themselves they cannot days where I begin writing before the bell and do to work with do something. not finish until two minutes after class is over. Mrs. She expects her students to put forth their best each of us Ball teaches students to retain the knowledge they effort – in other words, to try. She expects this so gain, rather than memorize for a test. Her assessstrongly that none of her students ever utter “I ments are designed so students must explain what they have don’t know” in her presence (to do so would be near blaslearned, as well as apply those concepts on a deeper level. phemy). Mrs. Ball will not accept that answer. Newcomers tend I can say (without a doubt) that of all the tests I have taken in to use that as a safety answer, expecting her to move on to my life, Mrs. Ball’s have been some of the most difficult, besomeone else, but they are sorely mistaken. Like a bird of prey cause I actually had to think. One of Mrs. Ball’s best skills is circling, Mrs. Ball will patiently wait for that student to delve her ability to realize when she has made a mistake and to cordeeper for the answer. She knows that they know, so she will rect it, which few people are humble enough to do. And so, not accept defeat, and she teaches them to not accept it either. Mrs. Ball teaches by example for me how to admit my own Another reason Mrs. Vickie Ball should be Educator of the mistakes and correct them. She teaches her students humility. Year is the way that she teaches students to have inner strength. The way I see it, Mrs. Ball’s influence on my life will last for In tough situations, Mrs. Ball will kindly tell her students (male eternity. As I influence those around me (whether it be offering or female) to “put on your big girl panties and deal with it.” advice, mentoring, instructing, or counseling), I know that the She says this often when her students feel as if life is pressurpart of me she has impacted will reach others. Mrs. Ball goes ing them or that something is too difficult. Although the phrase above and beyond what is asked of her, and it has made all the is comical, Mrs. Ball uses it to teach her students that they can difference to me. ✦ endure – they can “deal with it.” I Mrs. Ball tries to include life lessons in her teaching. Even 20 Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM Apply now for our unique writing program in the heart of New York! June 23 – July 7, 2012 Join the Teen Ink editors and publishers for: Writing classes Individual instruction Daily activities Broadway theater Museums and more Limited availability so call or e-mail now (Girls currently in grades 9-12 only) Be part of a community of writers for two weeks of intensive writing classes in the Big Apple. You’ll live in a college residence hall, meet teens from across the United States, and benefit from the expertise of outstanding creative-writing teachers. It’s not all work, though, since there’s so much to see and do in New York City. Apply today! For more info, e-mail NYC@TeenInk.com or call 800-363-1986 pride & prejudice Take a Joke, Sweetheart by Jess Rockeman, Cottonwood Court, MN talk instead of towering over me. e leaned over my desk, his body casting a “They may mean those jokes to be harmless, but shadow over my writing. Two fists were they’re ignorant,” I continued. “Believe me, the suddenly pressed hard next to my book, givjokes don’t end at ‘Women should stay in the ing him an air of undeserved authority. “You know kitchen.’ They continue until they become sexual they’re just joking, right?” His voice was gentle, as and inappropriate. I want them to stop now before I if he were speaking to a timid animal. have even more reason to be angry.” I’d been down I nodded slowly, confused, trying to focus on my this road before, many times. work as my blood boiled. “I’m aware that they’re “I think you should just give it up before they joking, but jokes can be offensive, and I was feeling gang up on you,” he replied, calmly and reasonably, uncomfortable,” I said. like an adult pacifying a cranky child. He took a deep breath, a small, nearly undeI was so upset I wanted to cry, but the steam gathtectable smile playing at the corners of his mouth. ering behind my eyes made tears imHe shoved his sleeves up his arms. possible. I wondered who he thought “The more you ask them to stop, was, standing over a girl he’d never the more they’ll just keep doing it. “The more you he spoken to, telling her that her words That’s how they work.” He was ask them to stop, were useless, that she could try but telling me what many men had always fail. If we had been tried to explain before: men don’t the more they’ll she’d friends, I would have listened; if he’d change, men don’t stop, men won’t just keep doing it” spoken to me like a peer, I would have listen to you. cared. But he was just pushing me And oh, he was so very smart, his down, stuffing me into a box until words so very wise. I knew that he I suffocated on all of my useless, silly words. thought he was imparting some helpful, kind-hearted I looked him in the eye and said, “If they’re wisdom on me. He was trying to save the silly girl going to be rude, then I will be rude back.” who was making a fool of herself by refusing to tolerMy comment didn’t even make sense. Ten ate something that made her and other girls uncomminutes earlier, a group of boys had been tradfortable. He was playing big brother, daddy, the ing sexist jokes about women. I had turned savior on a white horse sent to shut me up. around in my seat, looked one of the boys in I looked at him, anger burning the back of my the eye, and said, “Just please stop, for me. I’m neck and my cheeks. “So, because they won’t stop, I asking you to stop.” That boy looked doubtful should just give up? I should let them make sexist but he stopped, and I resumed my work. I jokes that make me very uneasy?” We were in hisdidn’t yell, lecture, or swear. I simply asked. I tory class. I thought I deserved to feel safe. used words, the only weapon I knew how to His smirk faltered a bit. “They’re just joking. use, and everything was okay. They don’t actually mean what they say.” Now this boy had the nerve to tell me that People were watching us; I could feel their eyes. I my words didn’t mean anything. This boy hurt was suddenly vulnerable. I wanted them to stop starme more than he realized. He tried to take ing, to go away. I wanted this boy to sit down and H Loving My Size by Kellie Scholefield, Hollis, NH clothes because I thought they only looked good on have size 12 women’s feet, and I’m proud of it. girls who wore a size two and had size seven feet. InI like walking into shoe stores and having only six stead, I would wear a sweatshirt and sweatpants, or ocpairs to choose from – it cuts down the decision casionally jeans if I was feeling adventurous. In stores, time. I also enjoy being able to order my prom shoes I resented the cute clothing as if it was the clothes’ fault from yourfeetmakeyouunique.com because I know no I couldn’t try them on. I wished I could wear my one else will have the same shoes. It doesn’t hurt, either, smelly softball uniform everywhere because that was that the name of the store is a confidence booster. what I felt most comfortable in. On the softball field, it People ask me how I deal with having big feet, but to didn’t matter what size I was, only how well I played. be honest, I rarely think about it. I have been the biggest I don’t know exactly when it happened, girl in my family, among my friends, and but one day I realized I didn’t hate my in my grade my whole life. I am athletiOn the softball body anymore. Maybe it was the day I cally built and am not meant to wear size five games in a row and could have four clothing like my sister. field, it didn’t pitched kept playing, or the time I tried on a bikini There are benefits to my size. When I’m matter what for laughs and saw that it actually looked playing softball, I am able to maintain my good on me. Maybe I just grew tired of balance if a girl slides into me at home size I was wishing my body was different. plate. My feet, hands, legs, and arms are all Now I’m happy when I step onto the volin proportion, so if I were to lose 30 leyball court wearing tight spandex, because I know I pounds, I would look abnormal and might even be miscan serve a ball that most girls can’t dig up. I am even taken for E.T.’s twin. happy walking on the beach in a bikini because I feel I used to be uncomfortable with my body, which is powerful. And when I walk down the halls at school or normal for kids my age, but I always thought I was the mall, I am not self-conscious. I wouldn’t change a worse off than everyone else. I never ate more than northing, even if my fairy godmother gave me three mal size portions, and I played sports, so I was not lazy. wishes. I will just keep walking with my head held When I was young, I was pretty frustrated, thinking I high, putting one size-12 foot in front of the other, had been born with a less than ideal body. During junior knowing that I am beautiful. ✦ high and into high school, I was afraid to wear nice I 22 Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 COMMENT away the only weapon I had to defend myself. But he didn’t have the power to do that. I will never stop fighting for what I believe is right. I will never stop standing up for myself, my friends, and my gender, and I will never stop using my (stupid, useless, fruitless, beautiful, powerful, amazing) words. He backed away, easing off my desk. Frustration was apparent in his face, but he kept his features stony and emotionless. “Fine, whatever. But you’ll never get anywhere with them, believe me.” I didn’t believe him. To this day, I don’t believe him, because I have continually used my knowledge and my words to make others rethink their actions. Sometimes I fail and they don’t stop. Sometimes my words get me into trouble. But sometimes I even make a new ally. Little did he know, that boy didn’t break me down. He made me stronger. ✦ Perfection My body is perfect. Absolutely perfect. My head, shoulders, knees, and toes, My eyes, my ears, my mouth, my nose Are all fully functional, fully beautiful. Sure, not everyone will look at me and love everything they see. I am not blonde, I am not flat, My nose is big, My legs are fat, My tummy’s too chubby, My skin is too white. I have cellulite. But these “flaws” are okay; I’m only human, right? Well, these chunky legs let me walk upright, Let me walk right down the street with a smile stretched across my cheeks. These crooked teeth, they let me eat french fries and gummy bears and oranges and chocolate. Look at this – Look at ME! I can dance. I can do a cartwheel. I walk extremely well in heels. And at the end of the day when those heels have blistered my feet, My eyes Will not cry because this body feels no pain. Even when they leave me stained black and blue My brain lifts me up and carries me through. But my heart, I can feel it in this heart, my favorite body part that feels sorrow, joy, love, and hate And I love to listen to the constant beat, The steady flow of blood through my veins Giving color to the stains on my pearly white skin, Giving life to all my parts within And all my parts without. Pumping Pumping Pumping to every beautiful, functioning cell in my beautiful, functioning body. So even though I may not look like much to you, I dare you to tell me this body isn’t perfect. by Blythe Culpepper, Gibson, GA ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM art gallery Photo by Abdullah Abussaud, Qatif, Saudi Arabia Art by Maria Sweeney, Whiting, NJ Photo by Ellena Pfeffer, Northoaks, MN Art by Maria Tomski, Vaughan, ON, Canada Art by Emma Hoppough, Chico, CA Draw … Paint … Photograph … Create! Then send it to us – see page 3 for details Photo by Ashton Dixon, Vincennes, IN F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 23 nonfiction Just a Little Off the Top by Keilah Sullivan, Eureka, MO She buries those pointy red claws here’s something fundamentally wrong about deep in the shadowy recesses of a cabiputting your hair into the hands of a scissornet drawer and emerges bearing the wielding fiend in stilettos and designer clothflashing blades of the dreaded scissors. ing with a hunk of congealing, over-gelled The first thing you think is, If she trips who-knows-what growing on top of her head. She in those heels while holding those scishobbles up in her heels, grips your hand with clawsors, good-bye Left Eyeball, ol’ buddy. like red fingernails, and shows her teeth in a pained It’s been nice seeing out of you. Don’t smile somewhere between passing gas and extreme worry, the glass eye will never take constipation. your place in my heart. “Do something,” you say, “just wipe that pained She’s poised over your hair, then expression off your face and pull your lips back over snatches a handful and positions the your fangs before someone mistakes you for blade. You squeeze your eyes shut, pray, Medusa and chops off your head.” and stifle a scream as the Okay, so maybe you don’t say that. scissors rasp shut. You sit But you think it. As the time-worn epiIt’s never good in stony silence for the rest taph goes, “Speak to the hairdresser at the haircut, gripping the your own risk.” It’s never good to ofto offend the of seat until your knuckles are white, refend the one wielding the scissors. One wrong snip and – “Oops! Sorry.” one wielding fusing to respond to the hairdresser’s attempts at conversation. Maybe she’ll Maybe you can tell your friends you the scissors think you’re deaf. Or maybe you could were mauled by a bear to explain that say something like, “Me no speaky giant chunk of missing hair on the side Eenglee.” It’s a special case, you can say: normally of your head. you speak perfect English, but once or twice a day After she shakes your hand and wins the Prize for you undergo a vocal-cord bypass and suddenly all Most Constipated Expression, she leads you over to you can speak is stilted Russian. Exacerbated by one of those squishy swivel chairs and runs her creepy hairdressers in stilettos with pointy red claws through your hair. You try not to shiver. You claws. Nothing serious. fail. It’s a shiver of epic proportions, starting at the You keep your eyes furiously glued to the floor, tip-top of your head and popping down each vertejust waiting for the scissors to slip, skewer your eyebrae of your spine. She takes you to another chair to ball, and then pop it out again like a shish kebab. wash your hair, getting shampoo in your ears and Just waiting for her to make an irreparable mistake making you shiver again. She leads you back to the and shatter your life before your very eyes. Just chair and drags her claws along your scalp once waiting for her to turn into a flame-eyed, bat-winged more. Of course you shiver. demon from hell. Wielding the Scissors of Death. Maybe she’ll just think you have a weird twitch. Finally the moment has arrived. She asks you Or maybe you can tell her you’re mildly epileptic. to look in the mirror. No amount of twitching, It’s a special case, you can say: no real seizures, shivering, and sudden deafness can save you now. only spastic shivers 12 or 15 times an hour. ExacerYou raise your head, feeling like a 100-pound bated by creepy hairdressers in stilettos with pointy weight is attached to your chin. You stare at yourself red claws. Nothing serious. T Photo by Olivia Ezinga, Alto, MI in the mirror. Silent. Speechless. Thunderstruck. Flabbergasted. Because you love it. It’s beautiful and light and stylish and sassy and perfect. Everything you wanted but didn’t ask for. Couldn’t ask for. Wouldn’t ask for. You gush over it, and fondle it, and feel the ruffled edges with your fingertips. You thank her. Then you thank her again. And again. And again. Because each “thank you” is a secret “I’m sorry” that’s glued to the roof of your mouth. Your smile stretches from the bottom of the ocean to the sky, the Golden Gate Bridge to New York, Mars to Pluto, Earth to Heaven. So you thank her again. Maybe she’ll think you’re bipolar. Maybe you can say you suffer from convulsive depression. It’s a special case, you can say. Every once in a while you undergo a sinking gloominess and you can barely raise your head and look at yourself. But it’s cured by smiling hairdressers in cute stilettos with pretty, red-painted fingernails. Nothing serious. ✦ Through the Eyes of a Pregnant 17-Year-Old breaking point I walk Movement inside Books and paper in hand Small twitches of thrashes and kicks Head down Are all that keep me moving Eyes to the floor All that keep me alive Just trying to get through school unnoticed The life I carry inside me I am a mountain He is holy A freight-train carrying unwanted He is perfect luggage He is clean I am a dumpster tiny little life Where some boy threw I am that This Defenseless against the cruelty away his excess girl no one of the outside world And then walked away tiny alien Without looking back wants to be My Now complete with toes and fingernails I am that girl no one wants to be I can’t give up The girl who wears her sin on her skin I can’t let go I am unclean Not when I am so close Unholy Not when everything I ever feared Unworthy of any affection Ever hated Besides the snubs and snide comments Ever ridiculed From the sides of everyone’s mouth Has become the only thing I love And cherish Silver-violet rivers cut Through my pale island shores So let them scorn Stretching the fabric of my body to its 24 Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 Let them snub Let them avert their eyes Like I am a disease And he will never know the edges of his child’s heart Because I am so much more than that I am brave I am strong And I am going to be a mom At 17 So when I see him Walking down the hall In his red shirts and faded jeans When I see him avert his eyes And walk away When I see him sit alone And when I see his unshed tears I know He will never love the way I do He will never care for something The way he pledged those many nights ago He will never hear my baby’s heartbeat Or know his tiny fingers He will never know his little face Looking just like his father COMMENT by “Sara,” Fort Wayne, IN Because he is afraid Because he cannot bear to stand up And face the world the way I have been forced to do Because he is not strong enough to say those three words To a life he helped create He will never mean those three words to anyone he says them to He will never say “I love you” Because I am the only one who carries our broken secret Like a tattoo upon my skin I am a mountain Complete with silver-violet rivers And a knocking sound within I am an alien Bearing life forms in my womb But more than that? I am a mother Thrust into life too soon ✦ ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM by Antonio Lopez, East Palo Alto, CA philosophy. However, in spite of its native features, here is the problem since day one: I don’t belong there. As a kid, I’d walk to school, hoping to greet a group of students as passionate and devoted to learning as I was. Instead, I’d see a bunch of preteens who let their impoverished state, their chauvinist community, and their misguided intuition identify them. They made the ghetto look like the ghetto, playing the Hispanic stereotype of baggy pants, knotted hair, long white T-shirts, and worst of all, malicious faces. They preached racism toward white people, homophobia, and a general intolerance for anyone who refused to conform to their lifestyle. I, however, strove to remain resilient, reminding myself that this environment was an interim step toward success and that the greatest leaders have always faced oppression, even from their kin. I remained resilient – until my family wasn’t there to support me. Art by Heather Rose, Mill Valley, CA I love my family: they provide me with food, Magnetic attraction refuge, and constant concern for my needs. when peers slander the very place I live, saying My fingers hover However, in my final year of middle school, my they’d “get shot instantly.” Yes, I am vexed at the poised over the paper with purpose mother suffered a severe clinical depression. In sheer aristocracy that I immerse myself in every other words, the sole person who brought me day, where teenagers take luxuries for granted and Praise the woman into this world, who always slapped a giant kiss criticize perfectly good food, when I am simply Who, like Enheduanna, on my greasy forehead when I came home from thankful to no longer be eating moldy hot dogs for loves the smell of concentration school, who always cooked my favorite dish of lunch. Yes, I am annoyed at the perfect academic/ Who writes frijoladas, transformed virtually overnight. No athlete profile this school has strived to maintain. As if walking around a wall longer did I wake up to smell pancakes sizzling Yes, I am infuriated when students assert that Could bring it down forever. on a cold morning. Now, I woke up with both poverty is a result of laziness and a lack of diliPraise the woman who has trampled that wall the house and my psychological state an abgence, not unfortunate circumstance. And yes, I feel To the ashes solute mess, with my mother, for reasons I still poorer when my peers know everything about colWhere the prejudices of humanity crumble cannot understand, sobbing silently in the corleges and financial resources to visit them, not to to nonexistence ner. And so, when I confessed that I’d been mention SAT coaches to increase their odds of adIt calls me by my name beaten, bullied, and ostracized from our commumission, while I grew up in a place where high My real name no one knows nity, she met me with empty eyes. school dropouts are as common as iPhones are here. And pensively I contemplate, I began to wear long white tees as well, and In short, I have jumped from one stereotypical experhaps it named me my accent was laced with an treme to another – from attending an urban voice. But I realized that inner-city school where being MexiMy face shines with awe at the woman I couldn’t just loiter around the can means that you are normal, to a Who, like Harriet Beecher Stowe, Conformity is front door; if I wanted my suburban bubble where being Mexidoes not mind inky hands brothers to welcome me, I As if the work of her small hands simply the absence can means you probably clean toineeded to demonstrate that I lets, serve food, or pick up trash. could compel tears could be as hostile and as menof the courage to However, despite the financial and I radiate awe to the woman acing as they were. All of this, racial isolation I face at this school, I Who has united this world through emotion be different frankly, I would have done, but am generally thankful for escaping And has wet the faces of her neighbors I quickly realized that this life my self-subjugating former commuPerhaps it is a fatal addiction was not what I wanted; these nity and joining a collection of bright minds in a If so, I beg to capitulate to its poison clothes weren’t mine. place where pursuers of knowledge are not mocked Spare me the opiate if this is pain Over time, I came to two important conclubut exalted. I have been challenged to manage my Rather, hone the weapon which afflicts me sions. First, everything you love, every piece of time wisely and to write a paper effectively, lessons fabric you weave together into the quilt that is I may not have learned otherwise. It has prepared Honor the woman your life, can be ripped apart in a moment. Secme as the son of a man who never graduated from Who, like Maya Angelou, ond, when a friend was sixth grade, as the first member of my family who Fans her face with the wings of a book killed in a drive-by plans to attend college, as that young boy who tried As if freeing her words shooting, I immediately so hard to fit in and make his peers laugh, to develop could realized that this is not into a powerful, confident individual for whom neiLiberate people from their my home; despite the ther of his worlds can take sole credit. hurting fact that I grew up and I cannot be a Mexican-American; I am either too Honor the woman live here, I cannot surMexican for whites or too white for Mexicans. I Who has left the cage vive here. And so, cannot be a ghetto intellectual; I am either too ghetto door ajar without my mother’s for the intellectuals or too intellectual for the ghetto. and still does not forget approval, I applied and But to be blunt, who cares? Conformity is simply the prisoner’s laments was accepted to a private the absence of the courage to be different, and Long after it has flown high school in privileged wealth is a poor, arbitrary way to measure such Praise the Woman who Atherton, a place I so assimilation. Writes wanted to belong. These stereotypical extremes have only strengthHere, I feel relieved. ened my beliefs. I sometimes get confused about by Keely Hendricks, Yes, I am angered when which universe is the real one and which is the alterNashville, TN I hear a white boy maknate reality. But in the end, it does not matter. I shall ing racist allusions, or Photo by Michelle Moy, Brooklyn, NY intertwine them. ✦ S ometimes I forget I am an adapted pariah, an outcast who fits everywhere but belongs nowhere. Which universe is the real one? Both realms seem surreal to me, for both shock me on a daily basis and both have remarkably redefined my perceptions of right and wrong. I have come to see that. And both realms, despite their vastly different teaching conventions, have together molded my socio-political identity. I was born into a humble Mexican family 17 years ago in the city of East Palo Alto. It was, is, and always will be my hometown, the roots that hold together the blossoming flower that is my intellect, the soil that erects the stem of my nonfiction I Can Move Through Worlds Enheduanna LINK YOUR TEENINK.COM ACCOUNT TO FACEBOOK F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 25 environment The Beauty of the Cosmos by Alex Fong, Golden, CO millions in the known universe. young man, not yet a high school gradHis mind’s eye now abandons its useless uate, lies in a canoe floating on a still forms of measurement; the distances he perlake deep in the North American ceives now are of such dizzying scales that woods. An almost imperceptible breeze flutters they render his puny world inconsequential by just above the water’s surface, its chilling tencomparison. He imagines the distant quasars drils faintly brushing over the contented teen. and pulsars, gamma ray bursts and red-shifted It’s just past midnight, and the cabins lining galaxies, toeing the edge of what the lightthe shore show no signs of life. This, coupled speed boundary allows us to see, and he is with the only nearby town being a small comthankful. munity, means that light pollution is negligiHe is thankful for the rod and cone cells ble. Without that nuisance, the heavens are covering the walls of his retina, reacting to fully revealed in all their glory. every ray of light and firing a He lies, overwhelmed. The pulse down the optical nerves to a earth drops away and his breath The heavens central location in a web of neuis taken from him by the splendor rons. He is thankful for every of the night sky. He observes a are fully chemical reaction, every electron glowing band of light, a highway revealed in all transfer through the synapses of of billions of stars known by the his brain that allow him to feel the ancients as Via Lactea – the their glory cool water into which he now dips Milky Way. The galaxy above his hand. He is thankful for the him spans the entire night sky, sun, the magnificent fusion bomb that powers horizon to horizon, illuminating the otherwise every action and reaction on Earth’s surface. dark, pitiless vacuum of space not 200 miles Tears brim the edges of his eyes as he reabove his head. He knows it’s massive, flects on the laws of the universe, the notes, 100,000 light-years across and another 1,000 melodies, and harmonies through which the thick, the distances almost inconceivable. cosmos plays its tune. Quarks form hadrons But he knows there is more. He lets his form atoms form molecules form objects from imagination pierce the confines of the visible, grains of sand to galaxies. Gravity, electroand his mind perceives the Milky Way as just magnetism, the strong and weak forces, therone galaxy of 30 in the Local Group, and even modynamics – all play their pivotal roles in the further as a member of the Virgo Supercluster, intergalactic opera, and he is thankful. The an immense collection of galaxies over 110 universe is an incredible place. ✦ million light-years across. His mind staggers as he realizes this supercluster is but one of A 21st Century Evolution We’ve lost their wings So we sprout plastic ones. Grow radar goggles to see What we want Through the film Plastered On our airplane windows. Try to ignore nature Knocking. Facing Our own destruction Hurts too much. Yet haze Threatens us. It’ll engulf Our precious cities. It’s already started. We shut the shade To sweep over the gash. We want to ignore Nature screaming, curled Up in a corner. But it bangs On the glass. Claws Us to wake our dormant Brains, to open Them to scarred fields Below. It begs us to hear over The propellers, to not Let them shred Mother into withered husks. It tells the bubble people They’ve broken one wing. It pleads with our closed eyelids To protect the other. But we crumple its pleas In a paper fist To toss behind And litter Our footsteps. BOOK REVIEW The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan T he main problem I’ve always had with books about the food industry is, if they do their job, they end up making you not want to eat anything. I’m not saying that that’s necessarily a bad thing, but it makes me hesitant to recommend The Omnivore’s Dilemma. The first half of the book is a look inside the industrial food industry. All you self-loathing neo-food-nature-hippies who want fuel to protest with should look here. It contains a startling amount of information about the state of the food industry, from feedlot conditions to cattle feed to chemical processing plants. It even goes a bit into the industrial organic industry, which is in some ways just as bad as traditional industrial food. If, however, you are a more optimistic neo-food-nature-hippy, you’ll be more interested in the second half of the book. Here, author Michael Pollan looks at a more natural way of obPeople should taining food: through local food chains that include grass-fed be personally farms, and by foraging in the wild. This section is less informative more philosophical, which made it more interesting to me. It connected to and delves into the idea that people should be personally connected to their food, an idea supported by Pollan’s loving descriptions of the their food meals he enjoys during his expeditions into the natural food chain. In fact, Pollan prepares a meal completely self-reliantly, learning how to identify mushrooms, hunt for wild pig, and harvest yeast from the San Francisco air. The way the book is divided into two separate world views helps to brilliantly demonstrate the contrast between how we eat and how we should eat. The description of the cynical – some would say realistic – portrayal of food in the first half, however, pales in comparison to the loving detail given to the wholesome, delicious food prepared in the second half. Reading how the animals actually live good lives on local farms may make you feel bad about eating a Big Mac next time you’re hungry and short on time and cash. But does that guilt make reading this book not worth it? In short, no. ✦ by Helene Lovett, New Orleans, LA by Kyle Ferris, Littleton, CO Photo by Joanna Eaton, Spotswood, NJ 26 Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM by Mark Levin, Los Altos, CA was Jewish because I refused to particihen a person is born they pate in Christmas activities. While they know nothing, and I was no caroled, I mouthed the words. While different. All I knew was they made Easter eggs, I stood on the what they told me to believe. I didn’t tables and made noise. They wore know that what they had told me made Santa hats, and for a time in sixth me different. grade, I wore a kippah under my At my preschool in December, Santa 49ers hat, reminding me that God had Claus was all the talk. Most kids had control. sat on the big red hero’s lap. Siaosi I loved the 49ers. In sixth grade, durwanted a Nintendo 64. Brian wanted a ing a crucial playoff game, I prayed to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle bed. And God that the 49ers would win. The I wanted a Batman movie. I knew who 49ers had fumbled the ball Santa Claus was. Like with only a four-point everything else my How did I know lead. I know people usuworld had told me to ally turn to God when a believe, I believed in God was out ship is sinking or when him. I believed in his there if he never their child is drafted to jolly smile. I believed in join the armed forces, but his godly powers. I was responded? the 49ers making it to the a nice kid, so he’d Super Bowl was just as surely be stopping by. important to me. When my father came to pick me up “God, please let the Niners stop them I asked, “When can I tell Santa what I here,” I pleaded. “Please. I’ll do anywant for Christmas?” thing.” “Santa doesn’t come to our house, The opposing quarterback took the Marky,” he confessed with a chuckle. snap, dropped a few steps back, and Something was funny, but I didn’t get threw a long pass downfield to the end it. “We don’t celebrate Christmas. Jews zone. don’t believe in Santa Claus.” “Let there be an interception. Let the So now I knew. I was a Jew. My god receiver blink,” I begged, kneeling and was not Allah. My god was Adonai. His gazing up at the TV screen. Everything son is not Jesus, but we were all created was moving in slow motion. “Somein the image of God. Christians, Musthing. Anything. Please.” lims, Buddhists, Hindus. They’re all The ball continued in a perfect spiral. wrong, and we’re right. My rabbi may I expected God to make it wobble like not have taught me this, but that’s the an injured bird in flight. The receiver feeling I got. continued downfield, galloping ahead My pride began to gleam blue, silver, of the defender. I expected God to and white. Judaism was my identity. It make him trip. made me feel like I belonged. I was one The clock wound down to the last of the “chosen people.” My ideas surfive seconds. I was still waiting for a passed those who had not been chosen. miracle. The ball continued to fall. The Pretty cool. only force acting upon it was gravity My parents entered me into classes at now, propelling it into the hands of the my temple. The stories of the Bible receiver. I made one last prayer. Perwere taught to me like facts – what haps locusts would eat the ball. But goes up must come down, and a glass instead it fell into the fingertips of the half empty is the same as a glass half receiver. Touchdown. Game over. full. There was no question: On the first Niners lost. day, God created light. There was no I didn’t understand. How did I know disputing that God took the next day to God was out there if he never reseparate the skies from the seas. He sponded to my wishes? I thought back created everything in existence. No to what I had been taught in temple. On doubt about it. God had the power to do the first day, God created light. But anything. No one would suspect anywho created God? For the first time, it thing else – except maybe the kid sitdidn’t make sense to me. ting next to me in third grade. The next week, my doubts increased; Chris and I had no reason to hate we started learning about evolution in each other. We both liked sports. We school. It seemed that each day in the were both nice people. We both had Bible was millions of years in evoluJansport backpacks. We could have tion. On the first day, we were apes. On been great friends. We should have the second day, we were Homo habilis. been great friends. Chris and I got On the third day, we began to walk on along until one day when he asked if I two feet. On the fourth day, we became believed in God. I didn’t know this was cavemen – Homo sapiens. On the fifth something to be debated. Of course I day, we became human. It was awfully believed. Who didn’t? different from what I had been told. I “You’re an idiot,” Chris muttered. felt I had been lied to. No, Chris, you’re an idiot. After all, I The next week in sixth grade social was chosen and you weren’t. studies, we learned about the HoloChris wasn’t the only idiot, though. caust. That week, I found out that six My class was full of them. Kids knew I W LINK YOUR TEENINK.COM ACCOUNT TO nonfiction God Is My Head FACEBOOK million Jews were killed because they the whole time. I just hadn’t realbelieved something that others did not. ized what it meant. Six million chosen people, including You brought her here, the much of my family and almost my voice in my head reminded me. grandma. And where was God? You’re responsible for her. God’s I began to question every moment words resonated inside me, and something had gone wrong for the Jewmy feet stayed glued beneath ish people. Had he just ignored us Sarah’s head. There was a God. when we were kicked out of Spain in There is a God. 1492? Had God been sleeping for the It was then I realized that for past 60 years as Israel has existed in me God is not a supreme being. constant turmoil? God was supposed to He can’t make seas part and he protect us. Why would he let us face can’t control the weather. I have such oppression? Why would he let us my own god. I created him. He be constantly attacked? didn’t create me. My god is my Like he created conflict between me head. and Chris in third grade, God had been He can’t save lives. He doesn’t creating conflicts for as long as he’d create miracles. But my god does existed. The Spanish missionaries and create nonetheless. He creates the Native Americans had fought over morals and beliefs, talents and God. People had killed in the name of interests. He tells me what’s God. A suicide bomber had smuggled a good and what’s evil. I don’t albomb in his underwear for God. ways follow his orders, but I do First Chris told me God didn’t exist. believe in him. I believe in my Then God gave up on the 49ers. Then god. My god is my head. evolution made me doubt that God creGod helps me when I need to ated everything around me. And then I make a decision, and to me, he’s learned a troubling history that God always right. He’ll rationalize my had failed to prevent. All this pointed to choices and make suggestions like a the same inconceivable idea: God isn’t mentor, like a conscience. out there. We’re alone. My god has been my head ever since And that was what I believed until a I could think. When I sin, my god punfew months ago. ishes me with guilt, and that’s enough • • • to make me want to do good. So I don’t Her eyes were shut. Her lips were need heaven or hell to guide me. I just painted with vomit. Her legs were limp need my god. And while everyone as she dropped to her knees. Her head fights over where or whether or how or slid down my legs to rest on my feet. when God existed, I won’t fight. I The smell of alcohol attacked my know my god is my head and no one nostrils as Nick pulled out his phone. can convince me otherwise. This wasn’t our fault. Everyone was So, with Sarah at my feet, I had a saying we needed to get her help and choice. I could stay and make sure she get out of there. If my parents found was all right, because that was my reout that once again I had gotten myself sponsibility, or I could flee to avoid into trouble, I’d be punishment. Then, red and shipped to Utah by blue lights flashed, and a tomorrow. Sarah was still paramedic hopped out of Nick dialed, gave our ambulance. passed out at the“She location, her name, and had too much to her condition. A voice my feet. I was drink,” I told him. echoed in my head, my As the paramedics loaded all alone. voice, reminding me that Sarah into the ambulance, a I had brought her here cop questioned me. He and there was no God to save her. asked who gave her the alcohol and I looked down at Sarah. She was still where everyone went. I answered popassed out with her head on my feet, litely, knowing there was no way my fastening them to the ground. I looked parents weren’t going to find out. He around me again. I was all alone. Why nodded with each answer, then pushed had everyone else left? Should I leave me against the hood of the squad car too? and proceeded to pat me down. I begged for an answer. I needed “That was an honorable thing to do,” some guidance, and so I waited. I he said as he clicked the handcuffs thought maybe, just maybe, God was around my wrists and guided me into real and would help me. Maybe he’d the back seat of the cruiser. “Why’d make me invisible or make Sarah reyou stay?” cover in time for me to get her out of I looked at him through the barred here before the police arrived. So I window of the back seat and smiled. waited. Frustration pulsed through my “Something in my head told me to. veins. Maybe it was God. Maybe it was my “Goddamnit!” I screamed. Everyconscience. But I like to think it was one’s a liar. God’s a liar. God isn’t real. both.” ✦ But then, I heard it. It had been there F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 27 travel & culture Mother Tongue by Leeya Mengistu, Somerset, KY to boys, and back. “Sometimes I wish I had never come here.” I didn’t know that because of my skin My father doesn’t realize that his words stick with me. I already had a predestined track Backwards, not forwards I didn’t know that I was expected to to the day he arrived in this country wear hoop earrings, somewhere in 1992. listen to hip-hop, Nothing in his hands but a medical degree, and love fried chicken. a waiting, pregnant wife, So just as I had denied Ethiopia, and his family’s blessing. black America denied me. The epitome of the American dream: I remember going to the hairdresser’s an immigrant building himself up in the land of one day, opportunities. and an elderly black woman asking me, Even if that land killed one of his daughters, “Oh you’re not really black … are you?” failed his wife’s business, I was flabbergasted. and crumbled his family. Just as I had I vaguely nodded and moved on. He said those words in a conversation started the awakening. about how I still couldn’t speak denied Ethiopia, That No one accepted me. Amarangya, the language of his people. black America Even though I wasn’t biracial, Not-so-secretly, I blame my older sister I felt split between two cultures. who spoke Amarangya first, denied me Be black, or be black? but eagerly drank up English at school. I remember being little and saying, And I, always eager to follow her, “I’m not black, I’m brown!” refused to speak Amarangya, and I’d hold out my small arm waiting at the door like a friendly puppy, so no one could tell me otherwise. ready to hear what she had learned that day: Is it odd that I found myself raceless? “Hi” Clear as a glass pitcher, “My name is Leeya” waiting to be filled. “L-E-E-Y-A” One day, in my grandparents’ house “See Tom run” on a hot day, “The cat is fat I asked if I could look through some old albums. and the rat has a hat” I flipped through pictures of my grandmother I absorbed the words and disregarded my parents’ before she got her gold teeth I was a first-generation American that used to mesmerize me as a child. God bless the USA. Pictures of my father as a boy, But I guess I loved “my country” too much scrawny as he was, Always jumping from phase to phase that this place had with his eight other sisters and brother. to offer Before long, my eyes began to sting and Princesses, then monkeys, I swallowed back the rock in my throat then musicals, then photography, when I saw the picture of my great-aunt as a New York, to indie music, young woman, stunning, yet docile, wearing a shy smile, like she had a secret that no one would ever know. I guess I was crying because I would never know why, even in her seventies, she still hasn’t married. Was she ever in love? Did she ever want to be? I guess I was crying because, with her barely passable English, and in my terrible Amarangya, I would never be able to ask. And I think my father said what he said because with every day that his accent faded, he realized that I would never have one. ✦ Red Ruby Memory Il Gato by Lauren Mabie, Brattleboro, VT T H Photo by Madeline Wood, Fayetteville, NC is beautiful tanned skin didn’t look like it belonged in Brattleboro. His jet black hair was short on the sides and longer on top, the army cut. He wore fitted Levis, caked with dirt, and tan workboots that came above his ankles. His shirt was just tight enough that it clung to his body. His small blue eyes were tucked back in his head, but when he got excited, they immediately lit up. Outside of his truck, he looked like a regular country boy. But inside the rigged-up white Chevy, his pride and joy, he looked like a true hick – the most beautiful hick I’d ever seen. ✦ 28 Photo by Zoe Case, Upper Arlington, OH Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 by Mikayla Becich, Bradfordwoods, PA he beautifully ragged cobblestone streets of Manarola, Italy, were no place for such an unkempt cat. Shabby and dilapidated, the stray wandered the bright avenues of the coastal community. This creature was as misplaced as the bumbling American tourists who ambled about the Piazza del Popolo. From behind, fur matted tightly to its bloated torso, the feline easily could have been mistaken for a canine. Its misshapen form hobbled along, the left leg dragging, bringing up the rear. Ears mauled, the animal was oblivious to the distant crashing waves by the sheer cliffs on the Cinque Terre. One eye held the cloudiness of a murky pond, blind to the passing pedestrians who gawked at the scraggly figure. Paved paths, absent of cars and the grumbling sounds that accompany them, allowed for this beast’s existence. Slinking among villas shaded in every hue of the spectrum, the vagabond sported a gray-black coat like a spilled drink on the white tablecloth of an open-air café. Dirt-encrusted hair trailed wherever the nomad treaded. Fresh, salty ocean air blanketed Manarola, but this aroma was marred by the fetor of the feline. Some attempts were made to disconcert the grimy degenerate by brashly swinging brooms in its direction. Elderly local inhabitants sympathized and embraced the outcast, leaving gourmet scraps of pastas, breads, and fish that added to its rotund belly. A quaint town is the last place to find a bedraggled alley cat. Such a desirable location for such an undesirable animal. ✦ COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM by Tausif Noor, North Babylon, NY than a rite of passage; it is the entrance into civilized come from two worlds. society. The scent of the air is strong, mixed aromas One is a land far, far away where barefoot girls of Victoria’s Secret Love Spell and new money. This with gold studs through their noses carry chilis Long Island, New York, where I live. dren barely older than they are on slender hips, coI sit astride a line that divides these two lands. conut oil combed carefully through their plaited They are separated by 8,000 miles, but I can close hair. Where dirt roads, cheap sandals, and immense this gap with a blink of my eye; I can erase the crowds reign supreme. I come from a land of rice space with the nudge of my finger. If home is where paddies and lotus flowers, of corrugated tin roofs and the heart is, my heart is everywhere. Pieces of me occasional air raids. A land of teeth stained red from are in the bungalows of Rampura and the quiet, culbetel leaves, of gold bangles and bright silk, of venturally barren streets of suburbia. I try to complete dors and henna tattoos. A land where unaccustomed the puzzle, but there is always something missing. eyes water from pungent chili peppers, where feet I cannot say that I feel equally comstruggle to pass through packed cars and fortable in both homes, but, perhaps pararickshaws. doxically, I am equally uncomfortable. This is a land where hungry eyes Bangladesh To my suburban friends, I am an anomaly wander the streets, rags tied to thin bodis the land of every time I chatter in a strange tongue to ies, begging for a spare anna. This is a my parents; to my relatives in Dhaka, I land I’ve seen, felt, dreamt about, and my birth am forever whitewashed. I don’t know longed for. I’ve walked the dirt roads of where the Bengali Tausif starts and a quiet village; I’ve seen the taut backs where the American Tausif ends – all I can say is of young men carrying sugar cane. I’ve sailed along that I am an alien, foreign to all, but grateful of the the Padma River in a canoe, and sampled puri from fact. I am a first-generation American; I am not sufa vendor, his stall lit by a kerosene lamp. This is fering an identity crisis. It is difficult to merge the Dhaka, Bangladesh, the land of my birth. two cultures that compose my life, but I am lucky I My other world is equally exotic, equally real. It am not torn between the two – that would be such a is a land of SUVs and spray tans, of ranch houses cliché. and homogeneity. Here, waves lap endlessly against If I dig through the file cabinets of my memory, I boats in the bay, and the sun rises on dewy, manican distinctly see a young, frail woman dressed in cured lawns. Here I travel highways that stretch into her new green salwar kameez, her hair done in a bun the distance. This land is dominated by swimming for the first time at a fancy Dhaka salon. She is pools and strip malls; it is run by PTA mothers who holding the hand of a small boy dressed in his nicest operate minivan carpools like KGB missions. Here, suit, and her other hand is tightly grasping a British Juicy Couture bags and blond highlights are ubiquiAirways boarding pass. This woman, my mother, tous among females. Here a driver’s license is more I Idealizing France New Yorkers Like vultures with talons out They scramble for the last seat on the subway The last H&H bagel The last Marc Jacobs bag at a sample sale Flying through the streets On neatly tailored wings Claws tucked in silk Hard, sunglassed eyes stalk their prey Those elusive yellow taxi cabs Mating calls join the chorus of the streets Blackberry shouting and kosher deli ordering Heels up, heels down, clickety-clack On the gum-strewn pavement. At sundown comes the stampede They emerge from steel caves to Jump on loud grumbling trains Fold wings down and read the Times on slippery seats Rush-rush, clickety-clack The New York vultures burrow into Pottery Barn nests Handcrafted beds with lavender scented sheets At dawn, they fly again by Maia Silber, Cortlandt Manor, NY LINK YOUR TEENINK.COM manifested her hopes and dreams of a brighter future in this little boy, and boarded a plane to meet her husband in order to realize these dreams. Thirteen years later, my mother tells me that I am not an American, that I will never be American. Although I don’t tell her this, I think she is wrong. I will always be American and I will always be Bangladeshi, but I don’t believe in the hyphenated love child of two cultures. They are separate worlds, but I have found a way to coexist in them. I am not confused about who I am or how my race will play in the rest of my life. I am not afraid of losing my identity in either world. I am simply trying to say, this is who I am; this is where I come from. ✦ ACCOUNT TO travel & culture Two Worlds Photo by Toria Rose, Bethesda, MD by Tim Rebholz, Stafford, VA the rows of enchanting cherry trees. I want to visit y desktop wallpaper is a merry-gothe St. Martin monastery on the way down and round of places I’d like to visit. stare off the edge of its tree-covered cliff at its Previously, it was a black-and-white pastel-toned buildings. I want to spend the fall in checkerboard of broken hearts and band-aids, Beaune, where the leaves match the latticework of superimposed over what appears to be a couple the rooftops and the world becomes a wonderland kissing. Go figure. of orange and gold. Anyway. That was then. Now it’s a picture of And even then, my need for France and all Paris. Conveniently sans Eiffel Tower. I’ve never things French would not be sated. The cycle really liked the Eiffel Tower. would repeat ad infinitum. A few months in I find myself drawn to France recently. The Chateauroux, a year in Orleans, a great countryside, Lyon, the Louvre, while spent in Avignon, simply sitting espresso, cafés with little wiry tables, I want to go at the fabled bridge, watching, thinkchâteaus, Normandy, wine, film. ing, writing, free from worry. French nights and simple food and the to the land This is the allure of France: a place trickle of the river as it passes by our where inspiration runs freely in the of Voltaire picnic blanket. Everything so stereohearts and art of her people. A place to typically French. Except for the Eiffel and sauces find peace, a place for contentment. A Tower. And baguettes. place where materialism can be put on I want to go to the land of Voltaire hold and at last the human connection can rise to and sauces. I want to experience Hugo and Notre prominence. A place where life can be what it Dame and the Bastille. I want to see Versailles wants to be, where introspection can form the and the Jardin du Luxembourg. I want to breathe core of being. A place where life strolls leisurely the atmosphere in which the opera Carmen was along the road that defines it. A place for rejuvewritten. I want to hear the music of Debussy in nation and restoration. A place I want to be so the land of its origin. I want to feel the French desperately. But until I get the chance to bask in grass on my back as I admire the French clouds French sunlight, I will sit, bathed in the glow of and ponder the French penchant for stripes. desktop pictures, and reminisce and idealize about I want to be in Annecy for Christmas, and on things that never were and that will never be. ✦ the beaches of Lorient by summer. I want to climb the Pic du Canigou in spring and look out across M FACEBOOK F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 29 interview Author Kate Klimo K ate Klimo has been creating worlds since she was in the fourth grade. Now, she is the author and editor of an array of published books. Her latest work, Daughter of the Centaurs, is a fantasy that tells of a girl’s quest for survival and companionship in a world populated by half-human creatures. Daughter of the Centaurs is full of mythology and unusual creatures. What made you want to write a fantasy novel? Ever since I was in fourth grade, fantasy has been my favorite genre. Of course, when I was in fourth grade, I believed that the magical realms I read about – Narnia and Neverland and all – were real. Now, of course, I don’t … except that the older I get, the more convinced I grow that this world, the one we live in, is but one room in a large house filled with other rooms. So I guess you could say that I am gradually returning to a state of suspended disbelief, which is very useful in the writing of fantasy. What was your reaction when you discovered you were going to be published? I’ve been a publisher/writer for most of my 30-year career, so I can’t say that I experienced the anticipation of publication that other writers might. Nor, however, have I experienced the inevitable letdown authors discover when, on publication date, the earth doesn’t actually move. I also generally write my books in their entirety before I get a contract, so when I find out 30 Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 Interviewed by Devin Murphy, Jackson, MO from my editor that the book I have written is actually publishable, that’s when I feel a genuine thrill: that all my hard work has paid off! That the book will be read by more than just me and one other person. some pretty epic world-building for you. I love the books of Tamora Pierce, Susan Cooper, Nancy Farmer, and Peter Dickenson. I love mysteries for the escape, and history, especially biographies, for the details of lives lived in other times. I am working my way through the presidents right now. I’m only up to Madison. and do other things. Sometimes I write all day. I have to be careful, though, I don’t write myself stupid. That can happen. I have to give myself time to regenerate my mind and my ideas. If I drive myself too hard, then I start muscling my way through the narrative, bossing the characters around and depriving them of the independence they need to be surprising and interesting. What advice would you give to aspiring writers, like me, who hope to be published some day? Write, write, write. Get up every Why did you choose to write a day and write. I write daring character like very early in the Malora? What do you hope your readers morning, when my I don’t think of Malwill take away from your novel? “It’s a delicate mind is fresh, before ora as being daring so I hope that reading my book will thing, letting your much as a survivor. I the distractions of the take readers to a time and place they day set in. And don’t to write about a never imagined. I hope that the charcharacters come wanted listen to the voice insurvivor. Malora is the acters become lifelong friends with side your head that alive on the page” sole survivor of her set- my readers – friends they will want to sometimes says you tlement, and possibly of come visit in future adventures. suck. That voice is the human race. In the just subversive noise. If you write last five years, I lost my mother, my Did writing Daughter of the every day, and put your heart and soul brother, and a son. I know what it is to Centaurs change you in any way? If so, how? into it, you’re going to wind up, survive, and I wanted to share the orI surprised myself by creating a sooner or later, with something that deal of it, and the ultimate joys. complete world. The more I write very likely won’t suck … at least to What do you think makes a piece about it, the more I discover. And this some readers. of writing worth reading? world feels real to me. I enjoy spendIts honesty. ing time there. I am always eager to What is the hardest part for you in the process of writing? How do find out what’s going to happen next. What inspires you? you overcome those obstacles? Dreams, traveling, my editor, The hardest part of writing is not If you were not a writer, what Mallory Loehr. would your life be like? What overwhelming my characters with my would you be doing? own considerable personality. It’s a Why do you write? If I were not a writer, I would be delicate thing, letting your characters Because I am happiest when I am outdoors a great deal more. I would be come alive on the page, giving them writing. leading a much more physical life as a room to breathe. It’s so easy to lean on horse trainer. Working with horses is them, to hover over them, to pick them What do you do when your river one of the most gratifying experiences up in my sometimes ham-handed fists of ideas runs dry? How do you of my life. I’m only sorry I came to it and move them around like dolls on a overcome that and start writing so late. I started taking lessons, which stage, rather than letting them – their my husband bought me, for my fiftieth characters and their own inner voices – again? I give myself permission to stop birthday. I started out in classes with determine their fate. writing for a few weeks or months. eight-year-old girls. My husband and I The other hard part of writing is During this time, I usually take a trip now have our own horses, and we ride dealing with reviews. Let’s face it – and visit someplace new with my husevery chance we get. Horses keep you not everybody is going to love everyband, almost always on the back of a in balance; they make you aware of thing that’s written. But a bad review horse. your moods and quirks. can really hamper the creative process, Riding, day after day, They keep you honest. make you doubt yourself and every“You have to puts me into a zen state thing you’re doing. I learned this lesof mind. My inner voice son the hard way. get out and What have you learned stops chattering and I during the publishing promote settle down to just being. process? Did you always want to be a During these times, I No publisher is going to – writer? yourself” keep a journal and write poof! – turn you into a bestI always wanted to be a writer. At letters to friends where I seller. You have to get out least since I became a reader. I still am storing up impressions, stockpiling and promote yourself. This is somehave my notebooks from fourth grade, ideas and images for the day when I thing that one of my favorite writers, containing the unfinished fantasy am ready to fit them into a narrative. Esther Friesner, told me. There is no novel my best friend, Justine, and I room for shy and retiring and modest. worked on. My parents are dead, but I What sort of schedule do you As a writer, I am a more modest perhave recently discovered, going follow when writing a novel? Are son than I am as a publisher. But I through their journals and letters, that you organized or do you just sit have to learn to get out there and use a both were frustrated writers. This down and write? little of my publisher’s brashness to makes me all the more determined to I’m pretty organized. I start with an toot my own horn. write my heart out. I’m writing, not outline, even though I may not wind just for me and my editor and my up sticking to it. The outline is sort of How does writing affect your life, readers, but to honor my parents’ like the Ouija board; you push it for better or for worse? memory. around until you hear the voice of the Writing makes me a bit more muse actually breaking through and thoughtful person, but it also makes What kind of books do you read? talking to you. Then the outline usume a bit of a slug. In the best of all How have they influenced what ally gets abandoned. possible worlds, I would hook up my you write? I wake up around four and I write laptop to a treadmill and write while I All kinds. I’m halfway through The until I’m spent. Sometimes I’m finwalked. ✦ Game of Thrones right now. There’s ished by 10 o’clock, and can go out COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM USING THE ADVANCED SEARCH CLASSIC Into the Wild The Little Prince by Jon Krakauer by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry D ead. That is how they found Chris McCandless – just another crazy drifter who thought he could survive in the wild without the necessary experience or knowledge. However, Into the Wild presents a deeper and clearer picture of this misunderstood man who died alone in the Alaskan wilderness at the age of 24. Chris McCandless was not your average drifter; he came from a good home, graduated The solitary journey of Chris McCandless from college with excellent grades, and had planned to attend law school, but something in Chris made him steer his life in an unorthodox direction that some consider but few actually try. In 1990, he donated his college savings, packed his belongings, and set off to see America. Two years later, he burned his remaining money and headed into the Alaskan wilderness with a gun, a diary, a knife, and a 50-pound bag of rice, never to be seen alive again. His body was found in an abandoned school bus. When he died he weighed a shocking 67 pounds. As his story circulated, people began to wonder who Chris was. An outdoor writer and adventurer himself, Jon Krakauer traces the solitary journey of McCandless from the Gulf of California all the way to Alaska, comparing his story to other courageous adventurers’. Through the journey, Krakauer reveals a much deeper look at McCandless, unveiling a life led by few. As you read, you may find yourself connecting to a man who seems nothing like you and wishing things could have turned out differently for him. One flaw of this book is that after Krakauer tells his story, he rambles on comparing McCandless to other adventurers, even himself; it’s pretty dull and adds nothing to the story. This diminishes some of the awe you initially feel at Chris’s effect on people. Up until that point, however, Into The Wild is a book that you won’t be able to put down. ✦ by Olivia Ryckman, Littleton, CO LINK YOUR A lthough The Little Prince is classified as a children’s book, it should be required reading for every grownup – those who, according to the author, are blinded by time and numbers and cannot recognize that a drawing of an elephant inside a boa constrictor is obviously not a drawing of a hat! In no more than 80 pages, The Little Prince teaches us how to live a meaningful life. The little prince persistently asks questions, never answering any, but the marooned pilot who befriends him in the remote desert manages to put together the prince’s magical story. Teaches us how to live a meaningful life The little prince comes from a planet the size of a house. There he owned three volcanoes and a beautiful red rose that, with its vanity and pushiness, made the prince leave his home. On his journey, the innocent prince meets a lonely king and a greedy businessman and finally arrives on Earth, where countless beautiful truths about humanity are revealed. For example, the little prince discovers that his rose is different from all others because he loves it for itself. He learns the “secret of life” from a wise fox: what is most important in life, like love, is invisible. With each page it is as if you are peeling away, layer by layer, the mistaken priorities we all have in life. This poignant book could be read a thousand times, for all ages and for ages to come, and the story would still be as magical and true. After reading it you will never look at the stars the same way again. ✦ by Sugee Liyanage, Mississauga, ON, Canada THRILLER The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson L isbeth Salander is one of Sweden’s socially unacceptable citizens. She has been TEENINK.COM ACCOUNT TO in and out of psychiatrists’ care and foster homes, there are tattoos and piercings all over her body, she never finished high school, and she has a police record. However, she is a talented hacker and a near genius – and a good character for a thriller. This book is about the missing niece of one of Sweden’s most distinguished millionaires, Henrik Vanger. The mystery of her disappearance has Suspenseful and exciting plot remained unsolved for almost 40 years and Vanger wants one last chance to discover what happened. He asks Mikael Blomkvist, a disgraced reporter, to help. In a weird tangle of events, Salander and Blomkvist end up working together. That combo creates a suspenseful and exciting plot. I really like Larsson’s style. He has no boundaries when it comes to language. That said, the business parts of the book can get a bit confusing. This book is definitely targeted for an adult audience. This novel didn’t grab me in every aspect, although I really liked the suspenseful buildup to the end. The resolution was kind of lame, in my view, and the antagonist could probably have been identified from the beginning. This is a good book just shy of great. I’m really interested in the sequels and look forward to seeing the movie. ✦ give me nightmares, or at least persistent thoughts the rest of the day. But McCarthy wove these unsettling moments so smoothly, it was impossible to untangle them without unbalancing the rest of the story. It was etched beautifully through the use of careful details. What propels the story is the relationship between father and son. This part is what I most enjoyed. I think the main idea is the love between father and son, which often saves them. Without the powerful drive of love, they could not have sustained the energy or desire to survive another day. Because of his love for his son, the father was driven to provide food and shelter. Because of his love for his father, the boy was able to protect his father and trust him completely during their long journey. I am totally overwhelmed by my reaction to this book. When I began reading, I could tell it would be a dull and wearisome novel. But coming to the intriguing and mystifying parts opened my eyes to the power of Hauntingly disturbing love, survival, and dark sin in the world. Especially in this day and age, Cormac McCarthy’s powerful and haunting post-apocalyptic world inside The Road is chillingly close to our reality. ✦ by Ruth Arriaga, Goodyear, AZ by Joe Keller, St. Louis, MO HISTORY NOVEL Peter the Great The Road by Robert K. Massie by Cormac McCarthy I T he Road is a tangled yet straightforward look at a post-apocalyptic world where a man and his young son are forced to wander through an ashen, desolate America. They have no one but each other to rely on as they walk on an endless road south. The book is profound, but I found most of it monotonous and dreary. It did have exciting moments, but they were short and happened in the middle or at the end. Although it was a book I had to plod through, I did enjoy it. I had not expected The Road to be so hauntingly disturbing yet darkly beautiful. I must admit there were parts of this book that I thought I would FACEBOOK t took just the copyright page to discover that Robert K. Massie’s Peter the Great: His Life and World is an oddity. Penned by an American historian during the 1981 tensions of the misguided Cold War, it turns out to be an eloquent and erudite narrative of a dedicated leader who transformed a primitive realm. Though Massie sidesteps the Russophobic tendencies that will soon send R.R. Palmer’s A History of the Modern World into textbook retirement, Massie cannot escape the influences of his environment. Put simply, the author is an American historian writing for an American audience. And with Peter the Great, he delivers a beautiful American tribute to a man with “American Dream” activism – a man who isn’t an American. I began the novel with a set of preconceived notions, or rather, worries. What could an American historian possibly understand about a Russian king? Would it be yet another piece of Reagan-era Russophobia? Anti-communist propaganda? A diatribe on Russia’s backwardness? A compelling case for capitalism? Most importantly: 800 pages? Really? Let me set aside those worries by first giving you a glimpse into the historical context. Before Peter, foreign relations were seen as necessary evils; unorthodox obsessions with the Orthodox Church fed a Honest, factual, and fascinating book reviews NONFICTION self-defeating xenophobia; and monarchs, fearing for their lives, were powerless to the demands of their own soldiers. Peter took control of his church, his people, and his armed forces. He transformed Russia into the Russian Empire – and himself into Peter “the Great.” So, what did I – with my Russian heritage, Russian patriotism, Russian spirit, and “Russia! Russia! Russia!” attitude – think of the book? It’s absolutely fantastic. The narrative format makes it both readable and relatable to audiences spanning a historical, educational, and yes, even ethnic spectrum. Students, teachers, and even casual readers will relish Massie’s approachable, well-researched, and respectful prose. Massie does not sacrifice the dignity of his writing for either border of the Cold War barricade. Rather, he writes genuine history. Profound history. Honest, factual, and fascinating history. The book demands little but for the reader to simply pick it up. Despite its Harry Potter-esque length, it is a tome that is almost impossible to put down. Whether you’re looking for a book to fill the Potter void, historical nonfiction that isn’t a textbook, or simply something to do on a lazy afternoon, give Peter the Great a chapter or two. You’ll be hooked before you know it. ✦ by Anastasia Golovashkina, Naperville, IL F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 31 interview Author Kate Klimo K ate Klimo has been creating worlds since she was in the fourth grade. Now, she is the author and editor of an array of published books. Her latest work, Daughter of the Centaurs, is a fantasy that tells of a girl’s quest for survival and companionship in a world populated by half-human creatures. Daughter of the Centaurs is full of mythology and unusual creatures. What made you want to write a fantasy novel? Ever since I was in fourth grade, fantasy has been my favorite genre. Of course, when I was in fourth grade, I believed that the magical realms I read about – Narnia and Neverland and all – were real. Now, of course, I don’t … except that the older I get, the more convinced I grow that this world, the one we live in, is but one room in a large house filled with other rooms. So I guess you could say that I am gradually returning to a state of suspended disbelief, which is very useful in the writing of fantasy. What was your reaction when you discovered you were going to be published? I’ve been a publisher/writer for most of my 30-year career, so I can’t say that I experienced the anticipation of publication that other writers might. Nor, however, have I experienced the inevitable letdown authors discover when, on publication date, the earth doesn’t actually move. I also generally write my books in their entirety before I get a contract, so when I find out from my editor that the book I have written is actually publishable, that’s 30 Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 Interviewed by Devin Murphy, Jackson, MO when I feel a genuine thrill: that all my hard work has paid off! That the book will be read by more than just me and one other person. and Peter Dickenson. I love mysteries for the escape, and history, especially biographies, for the details of lives lived in other times. I am working my way through the presidents right now. I’m only up to Madison. I have to be careful, though, I don’t write myself stupid. That can happen. I have to give myself time to regenerate my mind and my ideas. If I drive myself too hard, then I start muscling my way through the narrative, bossing the characters around and depriving them of the independence they need to be surprising and interesting. What advice would you give to aspiring writers, like me, who hope to be published some day? Why did you choose to write a Write, write, write. Get up every day daring character like Malora? and write. I write very early in the I don’t think of Malora as being darmorning, when my mind is fresh, being so much as a survivor. I wanted to What do you hope your readers fore the distractions of write about a survivor. will take away from your novel? the day set in. And Malora is the sole surI hope that reading my book will don’t listen to the vivor of her settlement, take readers to a time and place they “It’s a delicate voice inside your head and possibly of the never imagined. I hope that the characthing, letting your human race. In the last that sometimes says ters become lifelong friends with my you suck. That voice is five years, I lost my – friends they will want to characters come mother, my brother, and readers just subversive noise. come visit in future adventures. If you write every day, alive on the page” a son. I know what it is and put your heart and to survive, and I wanted Did writing Daughter of the Centaurs change you in any way? soul into it, you’re to share the ordeal of it, If so, how? going to wind up, sooner or later, with and the ultimate joys. I surprised myself by creating a something that very likely won’t suck complete world. The more I write What do you think makes a piece … at least to some readers. of writing worth reading? about it, the more I discover. And this Its honesty. world feels real to me. I enjoy spendWhat is the hardest part for you in the process of writing? How do ing time there. I am always eager to you overcome those obstacles? What inspires you? find out what’s going to happen next. The hardest part of writing is not Dreams, traveling, my editor, overwhelming my characters with my Mallory Loehr. If you were not a writer, what would your life be like? What own considerable personality. It’s a would you be doing? Why do you write? delicate thing, letting your characters If I were not a writer, I would be Because I am happiest when I am come alive on the page, giving them outdoors a great deal more. I would be writing. room to breathe. It’s so easy to lean on leading a much more physical life as a them, to hover over them, to pick them What do you do when your river of horse trainer. Working with horses is up in my sometimes ham-handed fists ideas runs dry? How do you overone of the most gratifying experiences and move them around like dolls on a come that and start writing again? of my life. I’m only sorry I came to it stage, rather than letting them – their I give myself permission to stop so late. I started taking lessons, which characters and their own inner voices – writing for a few weeks or months. my husband bought me, for my fiftieth determine their fate. During this time, I usually take a trip birthday. I started out in classes with The other hard part of writing is and visit someplace new with my huseight-year-old girls. My husband and I dealing with reviews. Let’s face it – band, almost always on the back of a now have our own horses, and we ride not everybody is going to love everyhorse. every chance we get. Horses keep you thing that’s written. But a bad review Riding, day after day, puts me into a in balance; they make you aware of can really hamper the creative process, zen state of mind. My inner voice your moods and quirks. They keep you make you doubt yourself and everystops chattering and I settle down to honest. thing you’re doing. I learned this lesjust being. During these son the hard way. times, I keep a journal and What have you learned “You have to during the publishing write letters to friends Did you always want to be a where I am storing up imwriter? get out and process? No publisher is going to – pressions, stockpiling I always wanted to be a writer. At promote poof! – turn you into a bestideas and images for the least since I became a reader. I still seller. You have to get out day when I am ready to fit have my notebooks from fourth grade, yourself” and promote yourself. This them into a narrative. containing the unfinished fantasy is something that one of my novel my best friend, Justine, and I What sort of schedule do you favorite writers, Esther Friesner, told worked on. My parents are dead, but I follow when writing a novel? Are me. There is no room for shy and retirhave recently discovered, going you organized or do you just sit ing and modest. As a writer, I am a through their journals and letters, that down and write? more modest person than I am as a both were frustrated writers. This I’m pretty organized. I start with an publisher. But I have to learn to get out makes me all the more determined to outline, even though I may not wind there and use a little of my publisher’s write my heart out. I’m writing, not up sticking to it. The outline is sort of brashness to toot my own horn. just for me and my editor and my readlike the Ouija board; you push it ers, but to honor my parents’ memory. around until you hear the voice of the How does writing affect your life, muse actually breaking through and for better or for worse? What kind of books do you read? talking to you. Then the outline usuWriting makes me a bit more How have they influenced what ally gets abandoned. thoughtful person, but it also makes you write? I wake up around four and I write me a bit of a slug. In the best of all All kinds. I’m halfway through The until I’m spent. Sometimes I’m finpossible worlds, I would hook up my Game of Thrones right now. There’s ished by 10 o’clock, and can go out laptop to a treadmill and write while I some pretty epic world-building for and do other things. Sometimes I write walked. ✦ you. I love the books of Tamora all day. Pierce, Susan Cooper, Nancy Farmer, COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM CLASSIC Into the Wild The Little Prince by Jon Krakauer by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry D ead. That is how they found Chris McCandless – just another crazy drifter who thought he could survive in the wild without the necessary experience or knowledge. However, Into the Wild presents a deeper and clearer picture of this misunderstood man who died alone in the Alaskan wilderness at the age of 24. Chris McCandless was not your average drifter; he came The solitary journey of Chris McCandless from a good home, graduated from college with excellent grades, and had planned to attend law school, but something in Chris made him steer his life in an unorthodox direction that some consider but few actually try. In 1990, he donated his college savings, packed his belongings, and set off to see America. Two years later, he burned his remaining money and headed into the Alaskan wilderness with a gun, a diary, a knife, and a 50-pound bag of rice, never to be seen alive again. His body was found in an abandoned school bus. When he died he weighed a shocking 67 pounds. As his story circulated, people began to wonder who Chris was. An outdoor writer and adventurer himself, Jon Krakauer traces the solitary journey of McCandless from the Gulf of California all the way to Alaska, comparing his story to other courageous adventurers’. Through the journey, Krakauer reveals a much deeper look at McCandless, unveiling a life led by few. As you read, you may find yourself connecting to a man who seems nothing like you and wishing things could have turned out differently for him. One flaw of this book is that after Krakauer tells his story, he rambles on comparing McCandless to other adventurers, even himself; it’s pretty dull and adds nothing to the story. This diminishes some of the awe you initially feel at Chris’s effect on people. Up until that point, however, Into The Wild is a book that you won’t be able to put down. ✦ by Olivia Ryckman, Littleton, CO LINK YOUR A lthough The Little Prince is classified as a children’s book, it should be required reading for every grownup – those who, according to the author, are blinded by time and numbers and cannot recognize that a drawing of an elephant inside a boa constrictor is obviously not a drawing of a hat! In no more than 80 pages, The Little Prince teaches us how to live a meaningful life. The little prince persistently asks questions, never answering any, but the marooned pilot who befriends him in the remote desert manages to put together the prince’s magical story. Teaches us how to live a meaningful life The little prince comes from a planet the size of a house. There he owned three volcanoes and a beautiful red rose that, with its vanity and pushiness, made the prince leave his home. On his journey, the innocent prince meets a lonely king and a greedy businessman and finally arrives on Earth, where countless beautiful truths about humanity are revealed. For example, the little prince discovers that his rose is different from all others because he loves it for itself. He learns the “secret of life” from a wise fox: what is most important in life, like love, is invisible. With each page it is as if you are peeling away, layer by layer, the mistaken priorities we all have in life. This poignant book could be read a thousand times, for all ages and for ages to come, and the story would still be as magical and true. After reading it you will never look at the stars the same way again. ✦ by Sugee Liyanage, Mississauga, ON, Canada THRILLER The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson L isbeth Salander is one of Sweden’s socially unacceptable citizens. She has been in and out of psychiatrists’ care TEENINK.COM ACCOUNT TO and foster homes, there are tattoos and piercings all over her body, she never finished high school, and she has a police record. However, she is a talented hacker and a near genius – and a good character for a thriller. This book is about the missing niece of one of Sweden’s most distinguished millionaires, Henrik Vanger. The mystery of her disappearance has Suspenseful and exciting plot remained unsolved for almost 40 years and Vanger wants one last chance to discover what happened. He asks Mikael Blomkvist, a disgraced reporter, to help. In a weird tangle of events, Salander and Blomkvist end up working together. That combo creates a suspenseful and exciting plot. I really like Larsson’s style. He has no boundaries when it comes to language. That said, the business parts of the book can get a bit confusing. This book is definitely targeted for an adult audience. This novel didn’t grab me in every aspect, although I really liked the suspenseful buildup to the end. The resolution was kind of lame, in my view, and the antagonist could probably have been identified from the beginning. This is a good book just shy of great. I’m really interested in the sequels and look forward to seeing the movie. ✦ give me nightmares, or at least persistent thoughts the rest of the day. But McCarthy wove these unsettling moments so smoothly, it was impossible to untangle them without unbalancing the rest of the story. It was etched beautifully through the use of careful details. What propels the story is the relationship between father and son. This part is what I most enjoyed. I think the main idea is the love between father and son, which often saves them. Without the powerful drive of love, they could not have sustained the energy or desire to survive another day. Because of his love for his son, the father was driven to provide food and shelter. Because of his love for his father, the boy was able to protect his father and trust him completely during their long journey. I am totally overwhelmed by my reaction to this book. When I began reading, I could tell it would be a dull and wearisome novel. But coming to the intriguing and mystifying parts Hauntingly disturbing opened my eyes to the power of love, survival, and dark sin in the world. Especially in this day and age, Cormac McCarthy’s powerful and haunting post-apocalyptic world inside The Road is chillingly close to our reality. ✦ by Ruth Arriaga, Goodyear, AZ by Joe Keller, St. Louis, MO HISTORY NOVEL Peter the Great The Road by Robert K. Massie by Cormac McCarthy I T he Road is a tangled yet straightforward look at a post-apocalyptic world where a man and his young son are forced to wander through an ashen, desolate America. They have no one but each other to rely on as they walk on an endless road south. The book is profound, but I found most of it monotonous and dreary. It did have exciting moments, but they were short and happened in the middle or at the end. Although it was a book I had to plod through, I did enjoy it. I had not expected The Road to be so hauntingly disturbing yet darkly beautiful. I must admit there were parts of this book that I thought I would FACEBOOK t took just the copyright page to discover that Robert K. Massie’s Peter the Great: His Life and World is an oddity. Penned by an American historian during the 1981 tensions of the misguided Cold War, it turns out to be an eloquent and erudite narrative of a dedicated leader who transformed a primitive realm. Though Massie sidesteps the Russophobic tendencies that will soon send R.R. Palmer’s A History of the Modern World into textbook retirement, Massie cannot escape the influences of his environment. Put simply, the author is an American historian writing for an American audience. And with Peter the Great, he delivers a beautiful American tribute to a man with “American Dream” activism – a man who isn’t an American. I began the novel with a set of preconceived notions, or rather, worries. What could an American historian possibly understand about a Russian king? Would it be yet another piece of Reagan-era Russophobia? Anti-communist propaganda? A diatribe on Russia’s backwardness? A compelling case for capitalism? Most importantly: 800 pages? Really? Let me set aside those worries by first giving you a glimpse into the historical context. Before Peter, foreign relations were seen as necessary evils; unorthodox obsessions with the Orthodox Church fed a Honest, factual, and fascinating book reviews NONFICTION self-defeating xenophobia; and monarchs, fearing for their lives, were powerless to the demands of their own soldiers. Peter took control of his church, his people, and his armed forces. He transformed Russia into the Russian Empire – and himself into Peter “the Great.” So, what did I – with my Russian heritage, Russian patriotism, Russian spirit, and “Russia! Russia! Russia!” attitude – think of the book? It’s absolutely fantastic. The narrative format makes it both readable and relatable to audiences spanning a historical, educational, and yes, even ethnic spectrum. Students, teachers, and even casual readers will relish Massie’s approachable, well-researched, and respectful prose. Massie does not sacrifice the dignity of his writing for either border of the Cold War barricade. Rather, he writes genuine history. Profound history. Honest, factual, and fascinating history. The book demands little but for the reader to simply pick it up. Despite its Harry Potter-esque length, it is a tome that is almost impossible to put down. Whether you’re looking for a book to fill the Potter void, historical nonfiction that isn’t a textbook, or simply something to do on a lazy afternoon, give Peter the Great a chapter or two. You’ll be hooked before you know it. ✦ by Anastasia Golovashkina, Naperville, IL F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 31 music reviews 32 METAL The Sign of the Southern Cross Of Mountains and Moonshine F or being as far north as possible to still be considered Southern, The Sign of the Southern Cross is one of the most Southern bands you’ll ever hear, and they’re damn proud of it. Their debut album, “Of Mountains and Moonshine,” is littered with Southern Fast-paced, punchin-the-face metal influence. You can hear it in the lyrics, riffs, grooves, vocals: just about everything. They draw influence from multiple genres including groove metal, sludge, blues, and – dare I say – perhaps even country. They blend them all together extremely well, but they may rely a bit too much on their influences for their own good. “Of Mountains and Moonshine” isn’t the most original album ever, or a groundbreaking masterpiece. Rather, it is simply a fantastic slab of groove metal. And riffs – don’t forget the riffs. This album has tons of ’em, and while they might sound similar at times, you’ll find yourself headbanging and air-guitaring anyway. Everything about this album is thick and heavy, from the guitar tones to the sound of the skins pounding away in the rhythm section, even the vocals. Seth Uldricks’ voice is similar to Phil Anselmo’s of Pantera, but he can produce grunts even lower and shrieks even higher, all while maintaining a bluesy melody. In ballads like “Eating the Sun” and “Weeping Willow,” he sounds like he’s ready to beat the tar out of you and steal your cattle. Sadly, the bass is hardly audible, but I guess that’s the price you pay for riffs and solos this good. The lyrics are basically what you’d expect in an album as Southern as this. Covering topics including Huckleberry Finn, fathers who leave, and pig slaughtering, they’re well written, albeit ridiculous at times. They might be a tad over the top, but I’ll be damned if they’re not awesome. I’ve used the word “Southern” a few times to describe this album; another appropriate Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 word would be “energy.” Songs like “Unwelcome in That House” and “Hog Callin’” have energy that you can’t find in the most brutal death metal tracks. You can’t sit still and listen to this; you’ll be moving in one way or another by the time its 68 minutes are through. It’s a hell of a ride. Not only is this the ultimate backyard barbecue album, it’s just an amazing record that deserves your time. If you like that swampy heaviness that bands like Down bring to the table but want some fast-paced, punch-in-the-face metal, this is for you. It’s the best of everything the South has to offer: great riffs, blistering solos, and some crazy man vocals. Let’s party! ✦ by Jordan Baker, Romeoville, IL HIP HOP T-Pain Revolver T -Pain, a rapper known for his reliance on Auto-Tune, brings a familiar, slow vibe to his new album, “Revolver.” Best known for his 2007 hit single, “Buy U a Drank,” T-Pain grew up in Florida and joined the rap group Nappy Headz in 2004. In 2005, he began riding solo, cutting his first tracks on “Rappa Ternt Sanga.” Six years later, his style hasn’t changed, aside from the addition of excessive Auto-Tuning and endless monotone lyrics. The songs on “Revolver” are similar to most of his previous work. “Revolver” contains a few slower, sweeter songs. Very different from artists like Eminem, T-Pain bases all his lyrics on love, not hate. Even though these songs may be more appealing in an emotional sense, they grow extremely repetitive. At the start, T-Pain includes heavier club tracks that are great for party-goers, while the middle and end of the album get more and more dry. It would have been better if he mixed the party tunes with the slower love songs. Most of the tracks feature generic T-Pain qualities, including endless monotonous beats and the same robotic vocals. The album kicks off with “Bang Bang Pow Pow,” a great collaboration with Lil’ Wayne, who rarely disappoints. Here his style lights up the song and makes it pop. The third track, “It’s Not You (It’s Me),” is a great party song and stands out on this painful album. It also features, Pitbull, one of the greatest Latino rappers of all time. He gives a spicy flavor to the song, making you want to jump up and dance. In the next few tracks, the album’s earlier potential drops. They’re basically TPain’s old style, twisting the Standing still while the world is moving lyrics around a bit and keeping the same slow instrumental beat. This kills the album and makes it very hard to listen to. Instead of changing his style, T-Pain shows he does not want to move on. He is standing still while the rest of the world is moving around him. He mixes it up a little in “Best Love Song.” Chris Brown’s vocals add to the track, making it fun to listen to and sing along with. Overall, “Revolver” is bland, with a few fun songs to dance and sing to. Two out of five stars. ✦ by Jojo Jorge, Roslyn Heights, NY ROCK INXS Kick I f I had to describe INXS’s breakthrough album, “Kick,” in one word, it would be “funky.” Each song throbs with a dance beat, moving listeners to their feet. “Kick” propelled Australian band INXS to superstardom back in 1987, winning them acknowledgment and hit singles. And it’s no wonder – every track is upbeat and danceable, even the weakest. The album opens with “Guns in the Sky,” in which vocalist Michael Hutchence grunts and groans over a pounding drum track. As soon as the infectious guitar riff hits, it’s impossible to keep from nodding to the beat. Next is “New Sensation,” an uplifting track with jangly guitars that was the album’s third single. Indeed, “Kick” seems to thrive on its singles, certainly living up to guitarist/ saxophonist Kirk Pengilly’s hopes that every song would be perfect for airplay. “Devil Inside” is undeniably the sexiest song here. “Mystify” contains an almost folksy piano riff and spot-on guitars, as well as some of the sweetest lyrics for a lover. “Need You Tonight,” the band’s first numberone single in America, is perfect for dirty dancing, with its driving drumbeat and catchy guitar hook. “I need you tonight, ’cause I’m not sleeping,” Hutchence sings. However, all of these tunes pale in comparison to “Never Tear Us Apart.” Its string arrangement and convincing lyrics make it one of the best love songs ever. Looking past the singles, “Kick” doesn’t have much else. With the exceptions of “Guns in the Sky” and “Tiny Daggers,” every other song is filler Every track is upbeat and danceable and, for the most part, forgettable. This is especially true for “Calling All Nations,” which contains some cringe-worthy lyrics. Overall, “Kick” is a solid album, but despite its fame, this is definitely not INXS’s best. (That title would arguably go to their 1984 effort, “The Swing.”) This album is worth buying even if the singles are all you want, but the rest would only be recommended for hardcore ’80s fans. Though “Kick” has not aged too well for teens of today, it remains the perfect party album. ✦ by Keely Burn, Richmond, VA INDIE ROCK Dead Man’s Bones Dead Man’s Bones M ention Hollywood heartthrob Ryan Gosling, and the grungy, bearded guy in “The Notebook” comes to mind. Most don’t picture him at an indie rock music festival with his best friend, Zach Shields, and a bunch of kids dressed in Halloween costumes, and definitely not playing in an indie rock band. Zach and Ryan met in 2005 when they were dating sisters. They discovered a mutual obsession with ghosts, zombies, and monsters, and decided to write love songs about them. Their first album, self-titled “Dead Man’s Bones,” was COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT released in 2009, and they collaborated with the Silverlake Conservatory of Music Children’s Choir. They chose to play all the instruments on the album, including those they had never touched, and never did more than three takes, believing that imperfections highlighted the strengths of the music. My initial thoughts were What the …? and This is the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard. But after I got over these feelings, this album started to grow on me. The songs provided a feeling of comfort through the trance-like voices of the men and the choir of children. Each song has its own feel. Some are catchy and humorous while others are resonant and serious. I’ll start with the first creepy song, “Dead Hearts.” It begins eerily, with something that sounds like a heartbeat and rhythmic guitar. At the climax, glass shatters in time with the music, then it slows and you hear footsteps and scraping noises. I would probably get scared if I listened to this alone. Background music from a zombie movie The title track is my favorite because of its upbeat rhythm. The beginning is similar to jazz music. When the chorus comes in, a tambourine and piano join as well. The lyrics explain that no matter where you are, chances are you’re standing on a dead man’s bones. “Pa Pa Power” is one of the better-known tracks. It begins with a techno beat and tambourine, drums, and synthesizer. Then a man and the choir of children alternate singing “Pa pa power pa pa power.” Lyrics like “Burn the streets, burn the cars” and “Broken glass, broken hearts” seem to be about the destruction power can cause. “Dead Man’s Bones” was definitely not what I expected, but turned out to be a lot less creepy than I first thought. This album is worth the listener’s time, and I’d recommend it to any fan of alternative or indie music. It’s a combination of creepy, upbeat songs and background music from a zombie movie, and it’s perfect for any fan with an open mind. ✦ by Kristina Mills, Waverly, KY TEENINK.COM COMEDY Say Anything … Easy A A s a teenage girl, I have always wanted a boy to lift his giant radio to my window and replace the sun with the wise words of Peter Gabriel. In simpler terms, I have always wanted “Say Anything …” to be my life. “Say Anything …” is one of those movies that is best to watch on a rainy day. Every character, every detail, and every breakup and makeup will leave you laughing and crying for more. The movie stars John Cusack as Lloyd Dobler, a recent high school grad who, like many, is Will leave you laughing and crying for more wondering what to do with his life. He’s a real “man’s man” whose two best friends are women. He’s not only the popular guy from Lakewood High, he’s also the nicest guy you’ll ever meet, and happens to be in love with the beautiful and smart Diane Court (Ione Skye). Diane, like Lloyd, just graduated, but she has her whole life planned out and has won a scholarship to study in England. Also unlike Lloyd, she doesn’t have many friends until their first date, when Lloyd is given the role as “key master” of the party and Diane is left to socialize. Once Lloyd convinces Diane to go out with him, he picks her up in his blue Chevy Malibu. At the party everyone is wondering how a guy like Lloyd got a girl like Diane. “He made me laugh” is the only explanation she gives. He made her laugh. If only love were that simple. Lloyd and Diane seem to be perfect except for one thing: how different they are. She grew up in a wealthy, protective family, while Lloyd lives with his sister and spends his time training to be the world’s best kickboxer. The two are great together, but their lives couldn’t be more different. The movie is not just every girl’s fantasy – it seems to be taken straight from the pages of a 15-year-old’s diary. Watching “Say Anything …” hits a soft spot in my heart that just feels good. ✦ by Madie Rapp, Cannon Falls, MN LINK YOUR O n the surface, “Easy A” is a comedy about the reality of the high school rumor mill. However, the film has several deeper themes drawn from Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, including sin and redemption. Published in 1850, The Scarlet Letter tells the story of Hester Prynne, a young woman living in Puritan Boston, who is forced to wear a scarlet A because she gave birth to a child out of wedlock. “Easy A” offers a unique, modern version of Hester Prynne’s tale. Protagonist Olive Penderghast (Emma Stone) is the archetypal high school nobody, unknown and unpopular. Unlike Hester, however, Olive never commits adultery; she simply lies to her best friend about having sex. As any high school student knows, gossip Great acting and great humor spreads like wildfire in a schoolwide game of telephone. Olive, rather than deny the rumor, embraces her newfound attention and even decides to affix a red A to her own clothing, inspired by The Scarlet Letter, which she is reading in English class. Olive’s new reputation sets off a chain of events that drastically change her social life. Emma Stone delivers a convincing performance. She fits into the high school setting, even three years after playing a high schooler in “Superbad.” The supporting cast is surprisingly excellent, especially Stanley Tucci as Olive’s extremely liberal father, and Thomas Haden Church as her favorite English teacher. The writing is clever, with clear and meaningful themes. It is obvious that “Easy A” is inspired by The Scarlet Letter. In fact, my one and only issue is that this connection may be too obvious, beaten to death by the fact that Olive is reading Hawthorne’s novel for school. I would have preferred if “Easy A” followed a similar plot to The Scarlet Letter but didn’t mention it, as the Coen brothers’ “A Serious Man” followed the biblical story of Job. I feel that this style would have enhanced the experience for those TEENINK.COM ACCOUNT TO of us who had read the novel and could identify similarities along the way. Overall, “Easy A” has great acting and great humor. It’s a film for everybody, even my chick-flick-hating father. The fact that it uses The Scarlet Letter as inspiration allows it to explore themes not normally found in this genre, including sin, redemption, and slander. Olive is able to ask important questions: what is the worst sin – lying, adultery, or perhaps lying about adultery? ✦ by Gregory Briker, New City, NY COMEDY Bill Cosby: Himself T hough the days of the VCR are long gone, the demand for excellent old-fashioned stand-up comedy is still high. “Bill Cosby: Himself” satisfies this need with laugh-out-loud humor. Cosby’s amusing twists on normal situations keep audiences laughing throughout this spectacular show. “Bill Cosby: Himself” was filmed in 1983 at the Hamilton Theatre in Canada in front of a Best comedy I’ve ever watched live audience. This whimsical performance, including antics about everything from going to the dentist to giving birth, is definitely worth the 105 minutes. Cosby combines stories such as his “people who drink too much” sketch with comedic anecdotes from his life. His facial expressions play a key role in the reason audiences have been laughing for years. Another reason “Bill Cosby: Himself” has been so popular is because of his routine. When he comes on stage and begins his performance, he is having a conversation with the audience. He doesn’t try to force a joke but goes with the flow, taking the audience with him. His jokes are also relatable. From changing stinky baby diapers to dealing with annoying siblings, everyone can relate. However, this film, along with every other movie out there, has its flaws. Since it’s old, the video and sound quality aren’t that clear. This film is also not for those who want punchy one-liners. Cosby takes FACEBOOK time to develop his jokes. Nevertheless, “Bill Cosby: Himself” is the best comedy I’ve ever watched. Cosby’s relatable jokes and hilarious expressions are a treat. The live audience laughing and reacting with him make it feel like you are watching him live too. ✦ by Laolu Ogunnaike, Brooklyn, NY REALITY TV Teen Mom T he MTV reality show “Teen Mom” is based on four teenagers who allow us to observe their lives as they face the challenges of the first year of motherhood. Maci, Farrah, Amber, and Caitlynn all share anecdotes of their struggles, complications, and accomplishments. “Teen Mom” is an inspiring show for other teen mothers. Being one myself, it has helped me understand that I am not alone. Seeing other people’s point of view helped me to be more humble and flexible about certain situations as well. It has truly become therapy for me. I can totally relate to the show and I’m certain, or hopeful, that others will be affected in a positive way too. However, for certain viewers “Teen Mom” has had a negative impact. Some teens believe that the moms on the show are doing well despite having a young child. They overlook the struggles and only pay attention Inspiring show for other teen mothers to their good fortune: the fact they own a home and car or have a job. They don’t understand how difficult it is being a teen mother, and the hard work that’s necessary to get these luxuries. Some believe “Teen Mom” glorifies having children at a young age, but that is not the case at all. One of the show’s stars, Maci, demonstrates the real struggles of being a single mom. She faces custody and child support battles with her son’s father and the challenges of balancing school, her son, and a new romance. Another mom, Farrah, shows what it’s like for her child to have no father, since her daughter Sophia’s father died. Farrah struggles with her decision to leave her child with her mother and father in order to attend college. Caitlynn and her boyfriend, Tyler, deal with being “birth parents” and their decision to give their daughter, Carly, up for adoption. Last but not least, teen mother Amber faces domestic violence from Gary, her boyfriend (and her daughter’s father). Their verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive relationship affects everyone, including their toddler, Leah. I would recommend “Teen Mom” to reality TV fans. Other teen mothers especially may love this show, as I did. ✦ by Felisha Feliciano, Hockessin, DE DRAMA Drumline “D rumline” is an inspirational story about Devon Miles (Nick Cannon), a drummer from New York City who earns a scholarship to Atlanta A&T University to play in the marching band. As Devon finds his rhythm within the band, he develops a conflict with Sean, the leader of the drum section. Devon thinks he can carry the whole band by himself, but after challenging Sean to a drum-off, Devon soon realizes that it takes more than talent to succeed. I believe the movie’s message to teens is simply “the will must be greater than the skill.” I particularly liked the development of the relationship between Devon and Sean. Through their forged friendship, an outstanding marching band is created. The team begins to work in amazing ways movie & tv reviews DRAMA Teaches about teamwork and coins the phrase “one band, one sound.” “Drumline” is a spectacular movie I would recommend to all teens. It not only entertains but also teaches viewers about teamwork. I really enjoyed “Drumline.” The rage, action, and excitement made it awesome. It’s definitely worth watching. ✦ by Khadia Baptiste, Wilmington, DE F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 33 love story Confessions of Prince Charming I’ll tell you my story. I’ll start from the top. I’ll leave out no details, And at the ending I’ll stop. My troubles with women Began right from birth, With my very own mother, Queen Beth Merryworth. That name that she gave me Is one no mother should give. I mean, what was she thinking? “Charming” is an adjective! I was only sixteen When I ticked off a witch. She made me a beast. Man, that girl was a b***h. I would have been beastly For the rest of my life, But Belle came and saved me. So I made her my wife. That was a mistake I learned pretty quick. My new wife was crazy, A pure lunatic! She was convinced that the teapot Was the teacup’s mama, And had long conversations With the candelabra. So I put her in a madhouse, Went to France with a friend, And out walking one day, I saw a long braid’s blond end. Her name was Rapunzel And with my strength and power And none had been great. I climbed up her hair One in a madhouse, the other in jail, And freed her from her tower. Hadn’t talked to Rapunzel since I was already married, our wedding date. But I’m a sucker for blonds. My parents were desperate. And on the eve of our wedding So they hosted a ball. She got a dye job! And I met Cinderella, The passion fizzled and died. The most famous of all. I was in love with her hair. She was gorgeous and lovely, I explained this to her But I missed all the signs. And then ran out of there. Something was wrong Not three weeks later, With my pretty wife’s One crisp winter night, mind. I met another woman. My troubles I know that I found her Her name was Snow With the glass slipper’s White. with women match. And she was a darling. But that girl would lose No one was patient or began right her head kinder. from birth If it wasn’t attached. She’d been living for She misplaced her ring, years Lost her tiara, my crown. With seven short miners. And when I’d question their But Snow White had a problem: whereabouts She loved talking to strangers. She’d ponder and frown. I’d come home each night “Your wife has dementia,” To find her in danger. Said Dr. Gerome. She’d shelter the wanted, And she moved from the palace Have thieves in for tea. To a retirement home. “But they were so nice!” I was defending the border, She’d say later to me. Doing my princely duty. I hired a doorman, When I first came across A gateman and some guards. My dear Sleeping Beauty. But she cohorted with criminals She awoke with my kiss And was put behind bars. And we were happy awhile. Three times I’d been married, Stupid Love I Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 But the queen of my country Needed this century’s styles. Now at this point My mother went crazy. She assembled a plan Of which the logic is hazy. We had one different princess Over each night And they slept upon mattresses At a great height. My mom put a pea At the base of each stack, And we waited for the girl Who felt a rock at her back. The one girl arrived And we were married like that. But she was not sensitive, Just an insomniac. She could only sleep If she was doped to the gills. And it wasn’t too long Before she was addicted to pills. My wife was a drug addict. She was locked in a ward After two more attempts To take her life with my sword. By this point in my life, I’ve been married six times. And I’m totally sick Of those wedding chimes. So I’m swearing off women. My dreams of wedlock are sunk. It’s just not working out … I’m now Prince Charming the Monk. ✦ by Katie Callahan, Valrico, FL And what I have to say is so important that I dial and my hands are trembling oh-so-slightly laugh and forgive you for calling me stupid, because holding the phone to my ear, as I wait for you to of course you don’t know why I’m calling or how pick up and say hi, and I’m praying because this important it is. is really really important even if you don’t realize it But part of me is secretly hoping you do know yet. why, that you’ve already figured it out and have a And the phone rings eight times before finally – fantastic speech all planned so that as soon as I’ve finally – you pick up and say “Hello?” and your fumbled my way through this first bit, you can voice has that little question at the end that people sweep this whole situation away with your words get when they don’t know exactly who is calling and your voice like you always do. and they’re a little annoyed but still being polite. So I cheat, kind of, and say, “So, I’m guessing So I say, “Hi, it’s me,” and you kind of laugh and you know why I’m calling ….” And say, “Oh, duh, of course it’s you. wait, holding my breath, hoping you’ll What’s up?” in the blanks. And for a moment I’m swept away “I’d like to hang fillBut you don’t. You stay there breathby your voice, what I know you look out more, just ing on the other end, not saying anylike – your eyes, your hair, half-gelled thing, and I start to doubt myself just a and mussed from where you were you and me” little, and still you don’t say anything, sleeping on it. And I know that you’ve and now I’m seriously worried. I know probably ruined yet another couch now you must need a bigger hint, a clue, so I say, cushion with all that gel, and that this is why “Well we’ve been hanging out a while” and “You your mother knits those little cozies that cover the know you’re one of my best friends, right?” and pillows. “I’m really fond of you.” It’s a big nudge, really; And then you say “Hello?” again, like you’re not how can you not see where this is going? sure if I’m still here, like maybe I’ve hung up or But still you’re silent, so I take a deeper breath walked away because I really didn’t mean to call and curse you insincerely in my head for letting you. But I did mean to call you, so instead I laugh words fail you now when they never have before. and say, “Hey, I’m still here. Just had to think for a And I clinch it, saying, “I really like you. I’d like to second,” and you give that half laugh again and say, hang out more, just you and me.” “Think about what, stupid? We haven’t even started I’m proud of myself for getting through this talking yet.” whole speech without any help, all by myself, 34 by Annie Krueger, Ilderton, ON, Canada COMMENT nerves and awkward silences and everything. You say slowly, stuttering, your voice dull and dim instead of bright and intelligent: “What are you talking about?” I start laughing, thinking you’re just pretending to be stupid to be funny, even though it’s really not, and any moment now you’ll cover up the awkwardness by laughing with me and saying, “Of course I know, stupid. I was just kidding.” But then you speak up again, all confused, and say, “Why are you laughing?” And immediately I stop. For a long, tiny eternity I’m frozen, realizing you’re not pretending, that maybe you really are just stupid. I’m horrified, and wondering, How could this have happened? and Could I really have fallen in love with a stupid person? And I’m confused, too, not wanting to believe it, wondering how you could sound so stupid after how brilliant you sounded in math class on Thursday. How could you stutter now when you have always armed yourself with words before? You say “Hello?” a third time, sounding really uncertain, maybe a tiny bit afraid, and not at all smart. And I don’t say anything, just hang up, knowing you must have been stupid not to have any idea this was coming. And really, I can’t be in love with you, anyway, or if I was, I’m not anymore, because God forbid I ever love a stupid person. ✦ ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM by Elizabeth Waldie, Phoenixville, PA Androphobia. Fear of men. I know she isn’t ansit and watch the clock, hood over my head, drophobic, but it fits. It almost makes me laugh. hands gently resting on the coolness of my desk. “Desiree, right?” New Boy asks, looking at me. I Epistemophobia. Fear of knowledge. hate my name, so I have people call me Des. New I am not saying I’m epistemophobic. I am simply boy doesn’t seem fazed by my name, though. He stating that I am not in the mood to be in school grins a perfect, pearly grin. Gosh, even upside-down right now. Is that such a crime? he’s gorgeous. I sit up and turn to him, well aware Mr. Patterson started class with a boring lecture that gravity has made my frizzy brown hair a tangled and then left. He must be ephebiphobic. That’s mess. I try not to look directly at him. He is too pretty much saying that he’s afraid of teenagers. I distracting. guess I can understand why. I mean, considering “Yes,” I say. “I never caught your-” that most of the girls have a crush on him and half “Ash.” He grins. “Call me Ash.” That smile … the boys try to light his room on fire once a week, My legs go numb as he runs his thin fingers – Tara I’d be pretty ephebiphobic myself if I were in his would call them piano fingers – through shoes. The thing is, he’s always makhis dark hair. ing excuses to leave. A coffee stain on “Right.” I swallow as he moves his shirt. A paper cut. It never ends. Out of the forward. I peel my eyes from the clock as corner of my eye, “Can I sit here?” he asks. Mr. Patterson walks in. Apparently “Umm …” I look at Tara. Will she today’s excuse is a new student. Mr. I see the new be upset if somebody – a boy – sits Patterson doesn’t even bother to introwith us? boy staring duce him to us. The boy simply saun“I need to go to the library. See ya!” ters in with a peculiar confidence in She winks at me and hurriedly exits the his stride, walks to the back of the lunchroom. room, and sits next to me. I notice he doesn’t make a “Well, I guess you can now.” I smile at Ash. sound. He is so very silent. He sits across from me. “No lunch?” he asks, The new boy is dark – his vibe, I mean. His long, Photo by Katya Kantar, Westfield, IN gesturing to the bare table. pale fingers curl into a folded position, and the room I want to shoot back, “Okay, hypocrite. Where’s I shake. I will not be tremophobic. I will not be suddenly feels thick, dense. Nobody watches him your lunch?” But instead I shrug and say, “Sitophotremophobic. like I do. They’re either asleep or plotting another bia.” “If you were tremophobic, you wouldn’t be shakway to light Mr. Patterson’s room on fire. Out of the He laughs. It’s such a genuine sound. “Fear of ing like this,” Ash says, brushing a piece of hair corner of my eye, I see the new boy staring. eating?” from my face. Ophthalmophobia. Fear of being stared at. “Nah,” I said. “I’m just not very hungry.” “It’s like you know me – like you can read my I feel the color rise in my cheeks. A period of silence follows before he says, “So I mind,” I whisper. Ereuthrophobia. Fear of blushing. have English next period, and I heard that you do “Come with me. I have something to show you,” “What?” New Boy asks, as if wondering what I too. Would you mind if I borrowed your poetry book he says as the next class files in. said. to see what I missed?” • • • Shoot. I must have said it out loud. I pull the old, torn poetry book out of my bag. The clearing in the woods is soggy with rain. I am “Nothing,” I mutter, hiding my face. It’s going to I’ve written “metrophobia” all over it – fear of grateful for my old rainboots and jacket. be a long class. poetry. Nyctohylophobia and ombrophobia drift through • • • “Wow,” he says. my mind. Fear of dark wooded areas and fear of I am lying across the bench that connects to the “What?” I ask, suddenly nervous. Does he think rain. lunch table. It’s raining, so we are not allowed to eat it’s weird that I wrote all over my book? “Why did you bring me here?” My body tenses. at our regular tree. I wouldn’t mind sitting in the He doesn’t answer at first. My voice comes out raspy. “How did you know?” rain, but apparently the principal doesn’t agree. Tara Macrophobia. Fear of long waits. “Des,” he says, his voice thick and looks at me with her unusually bright green eyes. “There must be a lot of poetry in tired as he looks into my eyes. I look at “What is wrong with you?” She pokes my stom“Will you just him. God, he is so familiar. I’d know there.” He whistles. ach with a plastic spork. I think there should be a I sigh. Right. “Yeah, the book really face anywhere. Why didn’t I see it word for the fear of sporks. Sporkiophobia. Yes. I shut up with that is huge.” before? quite like that. “Well,” he says, standing up and “Ash … as in Ashton.” My eyes widen. I shrug. all those stretching. “I’ll give it back in English. Mnemophobia. This is a fear I have “You’re lying on the bench. Are you sick or somephobias?” Thanks.” had for the past year and a half. Fear of thing? Protesting the cafeteria tables? You could at He walks away, and I wonder why he memories. least sit on the floor.” didn’t just stay and walk to class with me. It all comes back: the fire, the accident, the “Kathisophobia,” I say. “Fear of sitting down.” I • • • death …. close my eyes and don’t need to open them to know We work in pairs in English, and Ash is my partArsonphobia, dystychiphobia, thanatophobia. that she is sniffing her purple Jell-O, debating ner. He hands me my poetry book, takes a look at Fear of fire, accidents, death. whether or not the lunch lady’s latest experiment is the test paper and says, “Testophobia,” showing me “Ashton.” I take his face in my hands. His long edible. his famous grin. fingers move to cradle my face as well. “Oh,” I “Will you just shut up with all these stupid phoI smile. I’m beginning to like this guy. whisper. “How?” bias?” she asks, accidentally knocking over her tiny We are the first to finish the test, so we talk quiHe kisses me. My boyfriend, my love, the one I cup of raisins in the process. I know this, because I etly. “Why’d you transfer?” I ask, and immediately thought I had lost. They said he was gone. How hear them. It happens almost every day, only the regret it. could he be back? ants usually get to them before she can scoop them His face clouds over and his eyes go dark. Those Philophobia. I’ve been philophobic ever since the up. Because we’re inside, I hear her drop each one full lips form a thin, white line. “Things happened.” accident – afraid to fall in love. back into the container. “Ms. Rickle really needs to “Oh,” I say. I am grateful when the bell rings, and I open my eyes while my hands curl in his hair. stop the phobia lessons, or you need to switch to a I move to leave, but Ash takes my arm. The pressure of him – of the kiss – is still there, but different class.” Haphephobia, I think, my heart pounding. he is not. I pull away and gasp. “I think it’s cool,” says a warm, honey-like voice “Fear of being touched,” Ash says quietly, as if “Phasmophobia,” I whisper, my lips quivering. from above me. I open my eyes and see the new kid. reading my mind. I shudder. “Look,” he says, “I’m Fear of ghosts. ✦ I turn my head and see Tara’s eyes go wide as she sorry I stoned up on you like that.” brushes a strand of purple hair behind her ear. I LINK YOUR TEENINK.COM ACCOUNT TO FACEBOOK F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 love story Panophobia • Teen Ink 35 love story 36 The Dreams of Fred As the man in the apron began Thursday Afternoon grilling the hot dog, a peculiar smile he first time it happened to found its way onto Fred’s face. It was Fred Perls, the setting was a a feeling he couldn’t explain. It hot dog stand. wasn’t really that he was happy, but It had been a cold morning, and by rather that he was amused. Fred could half past noon, when Fred left work not – not yet, at least – explain why. for his lunch break, it had not gotten Once Fred’s Hot Dog Was Done much warmer. As he walked along the Being Grilled crowded sidewalk and passed the As Fred took the bills from his walscent of delicious, smoking hot dogs, let and handed them to the man in the there was little doubt in Fred’s mind apron, the strange feeling took hold of that it was a hot dog kind of day. him again and his tongue stopped The Night Before working in the middle of saying Fred slept on his stomach, as al“thank you.” Only when Fred said it, ways, his left arm draped over the it sounded more like “thu.” side of the bed. He was fast asleep The man in the apron, who was of and a small circle of drool had formed course unaware of the strange feeling on the sheets under his mouth. Fred was experiencing, was unsure of When he woke at 5:30, he sat up what to do. Thankfully, Fred regained and thought about his dreams, but by his composure, handed 5:42, as he walked to over the money, took his the bathroom to brush hot dog, and hastily his teeth, he found Fred had just turned toward his office them impossible to remember. dreamt about a building. What Was Happening Thursday Afternoon hot dog stand in Fred’s Mind Again What was happening Fred’s mind was in Fred’s mind was the happily empty as he same as when he would hear an old stood in line to get his hot dog. The song and struggle to remember the two large women in front of him wore title. Or when, in college, he had studeven larger coats, restricting his view ied all night for a French quiz and of the hot dog stand to just the metal then could not remember the French shelf for ketchup, mustard, and relish. word for an English one. It was the After a few minutes, the women nagging, annoying feeling of knowing left, and Fred took a final step toward that you know something but just not the hot dog stand. “One hot dog, knowing it at the moment. please,” he said, although he felt In fact, Fred was trying to rememstrange saying it because this was, ber something. He did his best to igafter all, a hot dog stand, and there nore it. Instead, he focused on all the was nothing else to buy. reports he had to finish by that evening. Thursday Evening Fred had not finished his reports. Thursday Afternoon Again Of course, the exact moment Fred began focusing on something else was the moment he figured it out. When he had woken up at 5:30, Fred remembered, he had just dreamt about a hot dog stand. What’s more, the man at the hot dog stand had been the same man as in his dream. And the more he thought about it, the stranger it became, because he had dreamt about the two fat ladies with their big coats too. The smile still on his face, Fred walked over to a nearby park bench and sat down. It was, for sure, the strangest and most excited that Fred had ever felt. It wasn’t just that he had dreamt about the situation he had been in; he had dreamt of those exact people, their clothes, their fuzzy blue coats. He had dreamt of the ketchup, the mustard, and the relish. All the details of the dream suddenly flowed into Fred’s mind. He imagined that this is what it would feel like to discover a new Art by Ashley Lian, New Milford, CT T Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 by Anonymous, Newton, MA country, or to use magic. He got up And Carla said yes. quickly and walked back to work. Even Fred could not have dreamt He had not eaten his hot dog. this would happen. Early That Night Once They Were Finished Eating He was in his long green pajamas. It had been decided over lunch, Fred was 30 years old and unmarried, which had gone very well, that neither and this was the most excited he had Fred nor Carla felt like returning to ever been to get into bed. He lay a work for the rest of the day, even notebook and pen on the bedside table, though two adjacent empty cubicles took off his socks, and climbed in. would be very noticeable, a point He reached out from under the Fred had brought up. down covers and moved the alarm They left the restaurant and began back ten minutes. He squeezed his walking away from their drab office eyes shut and, incredibly, fell asleep building, east along the river. The river and the boats, thought within minutes. The only sound was Fred. the ticking of the clock down the hall. “I need to step into that bank,” Early in the Morning Carla said suddenly, letting go of his Immediately after waking, Fred hand and jogging across the street. began scribbling furiously in the notebook. He wrote about a box of ChiShe turned and yelled, “Wait there!” nese food, a river clogged with boats, Fred turned toward the water and a giant key, masks, a girl, a shoe, and thought about how strange the last a bulls-eye. With a snap, he flipped two days had been. He reached into the cover of the notebook back into his jacket and took out the notebook, place and rolled out of bed. and judging by the rest of what he had Pleased with himself, Fred began written, decided that this day could his morning routine. As he dressed, he only get stranger. slipped the notebook of dreams inside Fred turned back toward the street, his jacket. At 7:15, he walked out the leaning against the chains that kept door and wondered if it would happen people from falling into the water. He again. looked into the windows of the bank Fred’s Lunch Break and saw a man in a mask pulling Unfortunately, it was cold again. down a shade. Fred walked in the opposite direction There’s the mask, thought Fred. from the day before, toward the At this point, Fred realized that the restaurant district and the shopping bank was being robbed and that the malls. Fred and his coworkers did not love of his life was inside. usually head this way because it was Shoving the notebook into his quite a ways to walk and their lunch jacket again, Fred walked toward the break was short. But work, and the bank with a confident stride. It was pile of reports left on his desk, were the stride of someone who thinks he not on Fred’s list of priorities. is much braver than he is, someone Later That Day who is probably about to do someThe reports were still not done. thing very stupid. Back to Fred’s Lunch Break He walked right up to the front In the restaurant section of town, door and peered through a crack in delicious smells once again found the blinds. A man in a mask, a differtheir way to Fred’s nostrils. He ent man who was much taller and fatsmelled garlic chicken. ter than the other one, pulled back the There’s the Chinese food, he blinds and shoved a gun in Fred’s thought. face, thus confirming Fred’s suspicion Like the day before, Fred followed that the bank was being robbed. his nose. He opened the Fred backed away, his door of Oriental Panda. stride much quicker now. Fred was Sitting at a small table to On the one hand, he wanted the left, with a menu obget as far away from the no superhero tobank scuring most of her face, as possible, because he was Carla Hall. had almost died. On the Carla Hall worked in a cubicle next other hand, Carla was in the bank. to Fred and, like Fred, rarely finished And so Fred neither walked away her reports on time. She collected from the bank nor toward it. Instead, he walked around it, and at the back of quarters. She often wore green, and the building, he found a fire escape. brought orange juice to work in a cofFred did not call the police, a decision fee mug. And if Fred were ever going he would later ponder. What he did to be married, he wanted it to be to was take a step back, get a running Carla Hall. start, and jump onto the bottom rung. With a smile and a confident stride On the Roof of the Bank unlike those that belonged to the He looked around, trying to think usual Fred, Fred made his way over to of a plan. There were some metal Carla and asked to join her. boxes, a flagpole, and right in the What he said was, “Hi Carla, mind middle of the roof, a metal ➤➤ if I join you?” COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM by Leah Barteldes, Olney, MD everything). If that was your motive, then you didn’t or some reason, I cannot put away the memthink it through too well, because you certainly ory of you in that picture on your Facebook. It don’t look too all-American: good looks and Ralph wasn’t a particularly spectacular one, just you Lauren polos, yes, but football, Coca-Cola, trucks in that perfect light blue shirt that matched your and/or baseball caps, no. I’m sorry, but your logic eyes, goofing off with your best friend, being boys failed. Besides, she has a boyfriend. for whatever reason. But between the I never liked baseball caps anyway. way the sun made your hair shine like Maybe for Maybe for some reason you did take melted butter and the fact that your this picture for me. It would mean the carefree laugh showed off your smile some reason entire world to me if you had. At the in the most flattering way, I became you did take this very least, it would make me feel better infatuated with you. And yet, I don’t knowing you just took it to show even know what your motives were picture for me than off that you had friends and a life. I for taking this picture. You certainly don’t want to sound like one of those didn’t mention them in the caption. melodramatic Nicholas Sparks movies, but I wish I Maybe you were trying to look masculine, like the could tell you how much I love this picture. More perfect All-American teenage boy for that perfect than Cherry Garcia ice cream, more than a new All-American girl, the one who’s a cheerleader episode of “Glee,” more than what it felt like to have and a straight-A student and Student Council presithe Miss Maryland Crabs Jr. crown placed on my dent to boot (and much better than me in, well, head last summer. Did you see that picture? I may F This procedure took quite some time, hatch. Fred scrambled over and tugged and he made so much noise that, had the with desperation on the massive iron lock. storage closet actually opened into the Although he was discouraged, he knew safe room where the robbers were, he it couldn’t end here. His dreams told him would have been shot before his hand it couldn’t. He felt along the sides of the even touched the ceiling. Lucky for Fred, hatch, trying to find something to tug on. but not so lucky for the robbers, the storThere was nothing on the right, but his age closet was situated between the men’s left hand grazed something small. and women’s bathrooms. There’s the key, thought Fred. After Fred Managed to Pull Himself Ecstatically, he ripped off the tape that into the Ceiling of the Bank held the key, jammed it into the keyhole, Fred knew that he had done a pretty and twisted. The lock popped open. good job so far, at least in terms of his Fred paused for a moment to consider athletic feats, but he still had no idea what what he was doing. Fred was no superhe was going to do about the bank robhero, nor had he worked out since his trial bers. He didn’t know how many there gym membership had expired the year were (there were two), if they all had ago. Also, his fighting experience was guns (they did), if they were holding limited to two years of karate in elemenhostages (they were), or how he was tary school. going to get out of this A Moment Later ceiling (by accident). Fred dangled his feet did the only thing over the open hatch and He had no idea heFred could think of, which found the first metal step. He began climbing down, what he was going was to crawl forward. He over the women’s aware how loud his to do about the passed bathroom, a hallway, and breathing sounded in the then the tellers’ booths. narrow space. Every 30 bank robbers To move past this point, seconds or so, he passed a Fred realized he would landing that led to another have to trust his weight to a thin beam. floor. After a while, he lost count of how With his shirt already soaked in sweat, he many he had passed. After what seemed gingerly placed his hands, then a knee, like hours, a typical feeling for someone and then the other knee on the beam. It doing something they shouldn’t, his feet creaked and then snapped, and Fred finally touched the linoleum floor of a began his descent into the lobby of the storage closet. bank. Fred stayed far from the door, afraid of Ten Minutes Before the Beam Broke accidentally opening it and falling into The two masked robbers, after forcing a the safe room where the men in masks teller at gunpoint to open the safe, had would put a gun to his head and kill him, stuffed as many bills into two black duffel right then and there. Instead, he tried to bags as they could. One, Jeremy, had think of something to do with the mops, stood outside the safe with the hostages brooms, paper towels, and shelving while the other, Stan, had done the actual around him. stuffing. And then, because he had seen it in Once the bags were full, Stan stepped movies, Fred thought about crawling out of the safe and threw one of the bags through the ceiling. The shelves would at Jeremy’s feet. “Let’s go,” he said to his probably hold his weight, and then it was partner in crime. just a matter of pushing aside one of the Jeremy was bending over to pick up the tiles and hoisting himself up there. LINK YOUR TEENINK.COM ACCOUNT TO FACEBOOK have looked stupid in a giant crab-shaped tiara with tears streaming down my face, but I was thinking of your reaction when I got it. I wanted you to know that I’m special, like you, Mr. Quarterback. Speaking of which, maybe you could come with me to one of my appearances for MMCJ, unless you’re allergic to shellfish. I hope you’re not, because for the next eleven months, I’ll be eating more crab cakes than you can shake a can of Old Bay at. If you did go, I guess you could eat the lemon. And maybe some tartar sauce, if you’re into that type of thing. At least you have options. Oh my gosh, you just made a new status update! Is it to ask me out? To confirm that you posted that picture for me? To confirm that you’re not allergic to crustaceans? To … You’re now in a relationship with Miss All America. Three people like this. I guess I should stick to Cherry Garcia. ✦ bag of money when Fred fell from the ceiling. Back to Fred’s Fall The beam, which was pretty heavy, fell on Jeremy’s head and knocked him over, while Fred collided with the floor. With pieces of ceiling falling everywhere, Jeremy, Stan, Fred, Carla, and everyone else in the bank were blinded and confused for a moment. As Jeremy stumbled to his feet and started to run, Fred reached out and grabbed his shoe. Jeremy tripped, hit the floor with a thud, and fell unconscious. There’s the shoe, thought Fred. Jeremy’s gun skittered to the edge of the room, and Fred followed it on his hands and knees. The debris from the ceiling had basically settled, and Stan had figured out what was happening. He raised his gun. As Stan Turned Off the Safety on His Gun Fred grabbed Jeremy’s gun. He had never fired a gun before and had no idea how it worked. On the other hand, Fred had dreamt all of this the night before. And as he slid around to face Stan, the memory of his dream clicked into focus as it had the day before as he sat on the park bench thinking about the hot dog man. Fred’s fingers found the safety, clicked it off, found the trigger, and shot Stan square in the chest. Bull’s-eye, thought Fred. Both guns clattered to the floor. The lobby was silent now, as everyone (other than Stan and Jeremy) tried to figure out whether it was safe to move. Fred was the first to stand, and then the rest joined him. Slowly, the realization formed love story Facebook Love Art by Vivian Tong, San Francisco, CA that the two robbers were either dead or at least not going to be doing anything for a while, and the lobby of the bank erupted into applause. Even Fred began to clap after he spotted Carla. The police had been alerted to the robbery (Jeremy had not done a very good job), and at this point they arrived, crashing through the door, and were surprised to see that, apart from two men on the floor and a heap of ceiling tiles, there didn’t seem to be much out of place. The Next Morning Fred rolled out of bed, briefly reflected on his dreams from that night, and went to brush his teeth. At 6 o’clock, he went into the kitchen and put two slices of bread into the toaster. He poured a glass of orange juice and walked out to get the mail. On the front page of that day’s newspaper was a small picture of Fred and a short description of the failed robbery. As Fred sat down with the newspaper, the toast popped up. It was a pleasant light brown color. Carla came out of the bedroom, picked up the glass of orange juice, kissed Fred, and sat down to eat. And there’s the girl, thought Fred. ✦ F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 37 poetry Photo by Grace Kim, Port Washington, NY Rooftop Hands dusted of peach pit, Gravel, and feathered things Which perch in souls, Tiptoes clutching ledges, Rawboned, everything that is us Groped for the courage to leap. Pulses jagged, Vertigo in every direction, A fraying tidbit of moment, All we ever wanted to do was fall. Where Dandelions Roar My Hands Are Empty Virginia, stop sinking – take those rocks from your pockets and step away from the river. Let’s catch a ride, you and I, to the place where dandelions roar; where the alley-cat boys use their cherry-red lighters to ignite the stars, inspired by fireflies brighter than the sun. Your green, green dress made me laugh. This is as nice as it will ever get You said, and your knees were bruised Above red shoes ill-matched and still wet With puddles of dirty rain. Would you like to dance? My hands are empty, And your dress is green as love and coarse as memory What’s your rush, Virginia? Heaven may be nice but it may not be there at all and death is on its way but Virginia, I’m here now, and I’ll give you some deliverance à la I-75, no Sunday dress required. Think about it, Virginia: you could drown in your sorrows, or take a dip in the honey pot with me but either way, Virginia, promise me you’ll keep trying to swim. by Breanna Bowers, Burlington, KS You examined the sprawl below, The wrinkled visage of landscape and fractal cities, Watched the people pursuing the horizon, And determined that the world was flat. Excuses I remember looking at my toes and staring for a long time. by Myesha Bolling, Richmond, VA You didn’t laugh when I asked you, But you didn’t say yes. The Boy We walked back home. by Thomas Costello, Hastings on Hudson, NY self realization through your eyes Please have the decency le couteau est dans le main, le coeur bat … Don’t twist, don’t turn Make the incision clean for my sake Open my body and the revelation of the beating is faint Now you can see all that I am: The weight on my shoulders that I cannot continue to carry The reason you should bend and break me The clarity of just how sick I can really be. Probe away at my lack of ambiguity Analyze the absence of hope You’ll become surrounded in the depths of my cynicism Continue to pry until it hurts, darling For this will be as unguarded as I shall ever be with you Finally you will find just why Keep prying until I scream and cry Come to realize that I am the nectar of forbidden fruit I am poison So poisonous to you. by Myah Jones, El Cajon, CA distance has never been an issue. you let it become an excuse. I watch the boy With blue eyes and the Breathtaking sweep of his hair Across his forehead. He’s all jock. Such a newbie Striving to fit in, but I will say He’s got good looks. He’s probably a jerk. The cocky thinks-he-knows-our-system Kind of guy. When he doesn’t and we all know it. I watch the boy With blue eyes and the Breathtaking sweep of his hair Across his forehead. Light filters through the blinds. Illuminating him, his face. The excitement of first day Has died down. He’s reading quietly at his desk. He looks sincere, real. The kind of nice guy Everybody wants to get to know. It’s then I realize That’s all he is. A nice guy who, I must say He’s got good looks. I watch the boy With blue eyes and the Breathtaking sweep of his hair Across his forehead. by Grace Lemley, Highland, MI 38 Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • POETRY We are made of layers, layers, layers, That has always been the way And in season we shed these layers Until there is nothing left to lose And when you went home and peeled off that green, green dress, Inside there was a girl Small and fair and young as anything; Inside her was a woman Strong and lovely, coursing energy, And inside her, an old, old soul An old, old heart, A tree; Green as love and coarse as memory, Slowly Shedding Its leaves Still, I cannot abstract you, But what will be left of us When we have lost every layer And shed every shell? What will we find together In the cupped hollow of the hands of friendship’s love? Who can tell? Love is God is Love In empty hands Waltz (2, 3) Waltz (2, 3) We danced the most terrible waltz (2, 3) Oh, but our words danced incredibly free And so sparse like the dances of stars That our feet no longer mattered to us; We were alone and time was ours (2, 3) (2, 3) 2, 3, Fin Thank you This is as nice as It will ever get, You said. Funny, I was thinking the same thing by Ziggy Unzicker, Juneau, AK And Then You Were Gone It was not that they were too big but my feet were too small to fit your prints left behind They never go away and always lead opposite the way I’m heading by Hope Klingensmith, Stuart, FL Balloon Catchers We were the balloon catchers The tree jumpers And bread carriers We were the coat pocket hide-n-go-seek sunshine pals We were the cat walkers Boy kissers Closeline hanging dirty-kneed trousers We were the satin cigarette on the tip of your fabricated tongue We were the toad capturers Drum beaters And flower crown crafting field runners We were the carriage-pushing crocheted baby blanket thinkers We were the picnic havers Pipe smokers Bunkbed whispering wing flappers We were the paintbrush whisking tulips of your withered garden You are the war fighters Love hunters And pumpkin-patch hand-holders You are the carnival-going popcorn smile throwers You are the music dancers Test-takers Picture-taking flower-pickers You are the world fixing babies of our destruction Here’s the world, child Don’t mind the bruises by Emily Watterson, Algonquin, IL Colors I love to watch the people, Rather, what is left behind: A certain color, flowing free Imprinted in the mind. Adults shuffle hunchbacked Brown, and black, and gray, With cracking, folding faces Corroding every day. And have they not a reason? For time has taken its toll With future’s ceaseless task driving Fretting at the soul. Poised on the edge of adulthood, Teenagers shift their hues Alternating from brightest reds To the darkest blues. Most distill their colors With cynicism, doubt. Pastels quiver to explore, Unwilling to venture out. But my love is for the children Streaks of crimson, teal and lime Glancing off like rays of sun light, striking every time. They hear music for what it is The magic behind the play Flaring brightest in happiness Slowly fading away. I often have cause to wonder, Do we lose something as we grow? Is it children with the clearest lenses? I believe, I believe so. by Nina Kamath, Saratoga, CA The Language of Listeners well, if you do happen to remember how we used to take dictation from the trees and scribble their murmurings onto the sky in the script of our language which everyone, including us, had forgotten how to speak then please call me again tonight and we’ll both stand alone on our separate mountains and maybe listen to what the stars have been trying to say all these years. by Evelyn Weinstein, Cold Spring Harbor, NY Dreamer To pass the time I doused the light and stumbled blind into the night to brave the darkening twilight terror in search of life’s most joyous error In the deepening crushing black I lost all hope of turning back And so I tread uncertain steps Where poets dreamt and madness slept I left my common sense behind For hollow prophets to someday find; I threw my soul into a gust Of fragrant multicolored dust The skies were painted teal and gold Where powdered-sugar clouds unrolled and touched the cresting milky seas while I gazed in awe from shaded trees I danced with angels, and demons too They’re not so different from me and you. I cheated death, I beat the odds And taught pottery to the gods Of Jake But when the end came slowly near And my world was soaked in Heaven’s tears I bid farewell to my friend, the strange And tread slowly back from which I’d came Jake told me the weather forecast Even though he’s from Michigan. He said he’d be thinking of me And to stay safe. A league of men and women all With impressive papers on their wall Will preach the worship of what is real But I know none but what I feel. All that day held foreboding. I wondered how the padded sky Could rear up and scowl Enough to bring a thunderstorm. But he always can. by Zack Flint, Loveland, OH Near supper I went outside to touch the kittens. I found the gusts Had already raised their hackles. Hot cotton rose in my throat And I knew I couldn’t stop What was coming. Every time the wind began to waltz, Every time the sky was grouchy And I felt his outburst coming straight away, I saw us frantically preparing For clouds to Explode. With lightning lashing at our heels And thunder taunting on every side, We covered the little plants Yanked jeans from the porch railing Slammed and latched the barn door And dragged the trampoline to the woods So it wouldn’t flip. Even filled with fright I remembered Jake said he was thinking About me. And I could mock the fear. We ate casserole and cantaloupe In blackness for a few minutes; Dread dripped from my armpits. When the lights rejoined us, My forehead cooled. Later that evening The sun danced a bit For me. It made me think of Jake. by Kayla Ensz, Hillsboro, KS An Old Familiar Shirt All of those memories spinning together the smells and the feelings of those clothes you can still remember when you wore that particular shirt on that date with that boy his name was Christian you went to the movies but it was boring so you left and walked around in the cool night air and he bought you a cinnamon roll which you ate licking the sweet sugar from your fingers which he held in his intertwined I wonder what it’s like When a heart so over-used is sick of trying and loving living weeping caring making breaking keeping Does it stop altogether its final beat ringing like a last note in a song and then the singer steps off the stage that note still hanging in the air You get sad remembering the shape of his hand the skinny fingers with their beautiful bones how they memorized your face and his eyes that shade of hazel so deep you would swear he could read your mind and see your soul with its markings not as beautiful as his Like a smell that lingers long after the person is gone Every Moment Changes You After just a moment a different world is open. You thought of something but then you noticed you never get everything right at first glance. by Andrea Aguayo, Clinton, OK Her Legs You wouldn’t think. You wouldn’t think legs would weigh much, particularly these ones, withered as they are. People starve for legs like these, except not exactly these. no one passing by looks jealously at them. Atrophied muscles and acres of nerveless skin would be highly fashionable if they could support weight. Instead they are carefully positioned in scooters and chairs, dragged behind walkers. She has MS, and as we slowly get her upstairs, one step at a time, she pulling her body up, I wrestling with her awkward, heavy, unbending legs I think she is beautiful in all the wrong ways for all the wrong reasons by Emma Tremblay, Kirkland, WA Art by Hillary Snyder, Waterloo, ON, Canada Whole and alive with your sometimes, maybe, beautifully damaged, “alma” and reminds you of the boy with his paint-stained fingers the shy smile that makes you want to describe in a hundred different ways how he looks in his rumpled canvas jacket with the gold buttons the one you promise to never wash for fear of losing that smell of paint and dusty rooms, of sunlight pouring in the window by Taylor Powell, Ray City, GA Room 201 And so you do the laundry always leaving out the jacket you watch the clothes spin around and around maybe that is how a heart looks when it is all used up like an old familiar shirt that has been washed many different times and mixed in with everything else POETRY Maybe a heart never wears out maybe it just hopes and sticks it out until you find someone who can hold it and never break it someone who you can take your “fragile” sticker off for and just be yourself • Then came the quarantine. Four white walls closing in. Benedictions have become too feeble to wrestle the debacle of body tissues. All I hear is nickels clink as my dad leaves to light a cigarette. Now the inertia. Taciturn, pretending to scrutinize cuticles. As we listened to him respire under the thin bed sheets we knew the steps to take and arrangements to make. Forty-five hours later, the ice thawed why did we linger by the doorsteps until the moon leaned over the private ward? by Sera Park, Southborough, MA F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 39 Burn My Heart Another One The View Burn! Like a thousand flames. Burn! Hear me scream your name Burn! Like my heart tonight. And I actually thought I might be in love Another tale of Romeo and Juliet They fell in love, forbidden yet They stayed together through the end Here’s my take of Romeo and Juliet You’ve got me smiling nonstop, Laughing like a child You are beautiful, wonderful, Free-spirited and wild There’s the lad who lives next door To the beaut who washes hardwood floors Always glances, never stares Soon they swore to have evermore I’d climb a mountain As long as you are there And when we’re up I’ll stop and stare Away they ran A plan to seek Each other out Before dawn’s peek Not at the trees Or at the view But at the stunningly breathtaking, Beautiful you. The beaut awaited for her lad Until a cougar scared her mad She ran in fright right out of sight Leaving her veil of Persian white by Camelia Alikashani, Vancouver, BC, Canada Burn! You alone made my heart sing You were my everything. But no more, no more love, no hate Leave behind the past. No more pain, no more tears, like a burning photograph, Burn! by Nathan Hart, Enfield, CT Tangled The words are getting tangled As they pass between my lips They grow twisted and contorted With every passing trip You say you need some time So you’ll avoid me for a while You promise that we’ll still be close But there’s reluctance in your smile I never wanted what you asked for Or for things to be displaced I couldn’t give you what you wanted So instead I gave you space When I couldn’t handle waiting I took to knitting hearts But the yarn tumbled from my fingers And our friendship fell apart It’s the knotting of our strings That keeps us terribly confined And the fraying of loose ends That unravel over time One day you’ll grow entangled As you dance on twisted threads While the spider keeps on weaving Catching insects in her web by Marina Watanabe, Fair Oaks, CA The lad appeared Then saw his end It stabbed his heart Which he couldn’t mend A broken face can be replaced Or glued back together But a broken heart Can fall apart And feel the love forever Fall came today and with it, the spare blankets from the cupboard and the kiss of icy wind that blows the leaves from their watch towers I will sleep with my window open tonight. Fall came, so I spread flour on the rolling pin and tied back my hair pulled the old cookbook from off the shelf to make the first apple pie of the season. But when I cracked the spine, a handful of pressed violets fell out onto the floor paper thin, with summer’s lazy scent still holding in their petals. I have tried not to write about those days, it would be too easy or too hard, those days we slipped away and learned how our bodies worked. Beforehand, you mowed the lawn without your shirt while I sat on the fence and braided violets and told you about my father but every inch of my apple-white arms just itched for you, so we left the rest of the world to its business and played a little game, geography lesson, can you find the capital? Charting unknown territory, mountains, valleys, forests needed exploring in the ocean of the blankets on the couch you taught me how to learn and how to want I hadn’t really felt that before it was strange and fun, but not poetic, because you were not sweet and it really meant nothing at all but I still saved the violets and pressed them in the cookbook on the shelf so I could remember that it wasn’t all for nothing. I better make that pie. by Desiree Granados, Montebello, CA by Indigo Erlenborn, Madison, WI His eyes rolled back Drooled crimson red His hand on his heart For he was dead Out of the bushes came the maid Shocked in sorrow here she laid Next to her lad This is where they stayed They’d planned to get married Their parents forbade They were to meet up In a harmless way To make their vows To be forever more The wish came true And I’ll tell you how Instead of saying “I do’’ They took the plow Forever will they have each other Past the end with one another by Becca Hooks, Homewood, IL A New Kind of Fall As the ribbon is tied and cut a piece of glitter falls. It falls right into her eyes, where everyone says it belongs. As she walks to the car, her heel gets swallowed by a crack in the earth, causing her to fall. He is there to catch her. The smell of pumpkin fills the kitchen as the leaves fall off the tress. A lightning storm approaches. Alone, you cuddle up in a ball on the couch. You listen to the thunder crash and heavy rain fall. As their lips meet for the first time, he whispers, “I’m falling for you.” A clear night opens up the wonders of what they call a falling star. Alone in the house, she falls down the stairs, alone she slips away from reality. by Rebecca Howe, Springville, NY Fall Came Art by Emily Linville, Columbus, OH A Broken Heart Why I Shouldn’t Text at Night At night, I lose my inhibitions in the dark And my filter in my brain all but disappears, until Suddenly it seems okay, Even smart, To tell you everything. To tell you more than what you want to hear. I will tell the truth as I see it, With no smooth edges, No – truth as ragged as a disc used as a dog’s chew toy. Truth as bare as an Arizona desert. Truth as cold as the deepest secret corners of the human heart. If it pops in my mind, I HAVE to share it. My fingers twitch, my mind rushes, and all I want to do is send One More Message. Maybe then my mind will clear. But what will spill out? by Kaitlyn Manley, Loveland, OH Sunday Morning Every Sunday morning You can be sure to see The beautiful old couple Sitting in pew three. I can’t help but notice The love in his eyes Not just for his bride But his God lifted high. The strong bond between This man and his wife, It’s something I’ll strive for My entire life. I sometimes notice My thoughts drift away, I think of their love And forget to pray. We say the Lord’s Prayer, The church as a whole, Her hand in his, They pray with their souls. He steals a glance At the woman on his arm, He smiles and blinks As a tear causes alarm. He bows his head, Quickly finishes his prayer, Squeezes her hand, And smiles with care. As Mass comes to close, He looks at the cross, Mouths a quick thank you, Then nods in awe. Now Mass is over, I slide out my pew, Smile at the man Who then smiles too. The lesson I learned Is short but true, Love is so strong It captivates you. by Katelyn O’Brien, Watertown, MN 40 Teen Ink • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • POETRY My Heart Is the Only One Who Could Explain It I have twenty-seven hour glasses, But there will never be enough time In the day for me to say how your Grin makes me smile, how your smile Is the solemn lantern in this abandoned Town that we have all to ourselves. How your eyelashes battered and sparkled And lit the hormones seeping from our Bodies and into the air on fire like A million fireflies, bred from your freckles, Kissing my cheeks lightly, giving endless warmth. The silkworm sews the fabric of your Thoughts in strands of dreams and luxury. Forty-nine butterflies are born a minute In your mind, in my mind, in our mind, You pulled me from my cocoon and Told me to just flap my wings and fly, I did, and here we are, soaring like a A pair of mighty eagles, as bald as we are; The silkworm stole all our hair, our dreams. Even if we could fly like the ostrich runs, Chasing the sun over the fleeting horizon, Making every second of a falling day last, I could never explain why I chased the Sunset to begin with, why I was brave Enough to flap my wings and to fly, Why I even left my cocoon in the first place, And how I had the audacity to dream with you. Just take my hand, like a friend should, Place your head against my chest when You cannot hold your head high like you taught Me how to hold my head high, and listen; My heart is the only one who could explain it. by Phillip Helget, Kensington, MD Thunderstorms Zest of My Heart An Old Friend We sat on the sidewalk in the thunderstorm that day. It is the only day that I remember being with you, because fortunately, I have remembered to forget everything else. Or, I have remembered to want to forget everything else. Or, I have remembered to try to want to forget everything else. A piece of paper floated down from the hands of a Boy who held the rest of my heart in his fingers. Careful, he whispered, and i wished he’d let the fake words linger. Delicacy was on my mind in a way, and Everything seemed to take longer in this place that was quiet. Forget me, okay? I haven’t been around so long that you should Give up on who I made you. He pressed a piece of paper into the hands of me, and I realized I held the rest of my heart in my fingers. Just so, he whispered, I can’t Keep myself away from you. You know that I’ll Linger: and I remember that Malt liquor was your father’s favorite thing in the hands of a New accomplice and none Of those things were relevant to the fact that we were Protecting ourselves from asking Questions. I Revolved around you and my revolutions had Stopped. Turn around, you whispered, and I wished he’d let his hands stay Under my cashmere sweater, staying warm and applying Varying pressure to my hips that were moving farther away from our diluted Water of love. I forget about those X-rated lies and I held the rest of my heart in my fingers. You threw that piece of paper down from your hands and the remaining Zest of my heart didn’t linger. On my shoulders A jacket tortured, Enduring every aspect of living. I remember the lightning as it dripped down our throats. It never tasted sweeter than on that day. It almost tasted like your tears. And like the millions of fireflies that lit up your chest, making your heart look brighter than it really was. I remember holding the thunder in the palms of our hands, and I remember pretending that the thunder was your kiss, because, I really wanted it to be, and because, I knew it never could be. I remember that there was no rain, and I cried that day because of it. Because, what was thunder, no matter how soft it was to hold, and what was lightning, no matter how sweet it was to taste, without rain? So then you told me that I was the rain. It was a lie. I knew that then, and I know that now. But today, I would give anything to believe in Your Lies. Before We Die by Loisa Fenichell, Nyack, NY by Chela Novak, Southampton, NY I thought of you tonight in sleep, My heart you stole away. You gave me yours and said to keep, I cherish it every day. How Far? I Met You When Red Met Blue When bloody battles and wars we’ve fought, Turn into desperate pleas. I’ll think of you with my last thought, And wait to be set free. I tried to warn you about my wrongs, My pain, my fear, my hate. But I hear you singing our last songs, I take it as too late. One last thought, I’ll hold you tight, Wipe your tears before you cry. Remember, dear, the key to life, Is to love before you die. by Marilyn Wolbert, Dover, PA Umbrella i’ll always be your umbrella if life tries to rain on your parade by Emily Jones, St. John, WA how far would you go? everyone asks but I haven’t a clue I think it depends on the moon and the stars and that blade of grass you can never tell with a heart it changes like dish cycles one minute it’s on heavy rinse next it’s on filter out … but I think if you’re set like a table then you’ll be fine a glass will fall once in a while yet it only takes seconds to clean up but if you’re set like a calendar then I’m sorry, but you’re better off dead if you miss a week or even a day your world is chaotic and topsy-turvy how far would you go? blank eyes and quivering lips that’s not the answer she wants to hear “I wouldn’t for you” realization. how far would you go? For the one you love? by Lilian Cruz, Medford, NY A cigarette-burned hole, Matching left-arm scar. Hip torn by barbed wire. Blood-stained from fights, briars, and masochistic needles. If I shake the sleeves, the wafting scent of an October campfire will kick-start memories. He has warmed the bodies of several girls. Loves, lovers. He has caught their tears, and mine. Fought off sickness and addiction Made lonely feel like just a word in a song Danced to every punk-rock power chord that made my parents worry. Reminded me that I’m used, not useless Felt the wet of rain. I wonder if He could use a jacket. by Zach Turner-Ball, Nashville, IN Art by Kelsey Kenney, Denham Springs, LA I met you When red met blue When Harry met Sally Excluding the blending of primary colors You left blue on me As I rendered your face purple Blue rained in my eyes Looking at our colors clash On my arms Like a tiger being striped by God With a color not his own Like a whip we clashed and cracked And I bled blue I started to bleed The day I met you I saw red in my dreams I saw red behind my eyes Red was a flower in a field of flowers Red was a volcano surrounded by volcanoes Red was brave and funny and strong Red had a heart, a soul, a song Red was red until red was blue Red was red Until the day I met you Shopping for Love Is love ever considered gratis Or is there an unspoken return policy Who to ask Operator: can you find me love’s manager Certainly a well-spoken man, woman, or neither To be running such a large array of department stores splattered across the world in humans and non-humans alike Put me through the line Because I have a shopping cart of love’s embodiments that I’d like to return For someone who wants or needs it more than me I’ve so much stock, it seems unjust and I think I’d like the savings back, you see That porcelain pig took many years to feed by Kira Weiss, Arcata, CA by Abigail Holloway, Broken Arrow, OK POETRY • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 41 What a Man Your thin lips curled at the ends Telling me you lied about the “No more than a movie” night I caught myself staring At that stupid thing You call a mustache The handful of overrated hairs on your upper lip Refusing to shave them You’ve only encouraged their stay Beads of objective Grew from the dimples in your skin Your thick eyebrows Arched Acting as though they knew nothing of the lips’ intent Your restless legs Snitched on your thoughts as you shifted in your seat “It’s okay” My thin bangs whispered back I’ll be damned if I let your Chapped reddened lips Touch the soft surface Of mine I’ll be damned if I let your grease-filled Mechanic’s knuckles Invade the waves in my hair And I’ll be damned if My taste buds are soiled By your Heinous chew In response to your face’s entrance to my side of the vehicle I introduced you to my Left cheek I hope you enjoyed the three Carefully picked eye shadows I applied for blush And the grand view of my silver earrings Placed perfectly in my ear Maybe you got lucky As I turned my head to smell the scent of black amethyst As my neck was made exposed Enjoy, stupid boy Enjoy But before I leave, let me Reiterate This was no Shy Accident Hopefully your nose stung With embarrassment As I smiled and slammed the passenger door To your feeble excuse For a truck As my hair waved good-bye Maybe you answered a reply to my mind’s only question Who flaunts a Ford? by Valerie Williams, Oshkosh, WI 42 Teen Ink • Pick Me Up a Flower Of Poets’ Eyes & Mechanical Hearts Pick me up a flower, not a rose or an orchid, don’t buy it, I only want one. Pick me up a flower, off the side of the road, from a meadow, I don’t care, I only want one. Fine, don’t pick me up a flower, buy one for someone else, buy her a dozen long stem roses, wrap them in crinkly plastic, give her all the flowers you can buy, all the flowers in the world, I only wanted one, just one. A breeze, a breeze, the sweet wind of winter whispers lovesick fools in my ear a sighing song of crystal butterflies that i pinned in your hair after we fell down dizzy from dancing in the fog. by Kelsey Traeger, Palmetto Bay, FL Stuck and Unstuck Love We were two birds stuck On the wire between the telephone poles. We were perched Just far enough so our wings could not touch. Sparks danced between us, Sizzling on the electrical wire, And all we could do was gaze Into each other’s beady eyes. But when we did, We felt like we were soaring Above rooftops, and treetops, circling each other But we were two birds stuck in love On the wire between the telephone poles. Our feet gripped and could not ungrip We could not scoot closer, We could not shift farther. We looked at each other, Sorrow in our black eyes As we began to realize There was no point in wasting time. For we were two birds stuck in love On the wire between the telephone poles. Our talons grew tired from gripping, Our hearts became weary of wishing, And we little by little accepted the heartrending truth. We could not scoot closer, We could not shift farther. Until one day, A gusty wind came And toppled our telephone poles That had once held us in place. We could stretch our talons. We were two birds unstuck and free. I flew and flew and flew away, So shocked that I was unhandcuffed Until I found you flew another way. And it was with the freedom that the wind finally gave That I lost the love I had always meant to save. by Samantha Cassidy, Duncan, OK F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • POETRY The buzz of my mechanical heart is beating away at your concrete walls and brick by brick I tear you apart so that ice sharp love can pierce your soul. Photo by Christopher Wright, Cave Junction, OR Cigarettes and Tangerine (the nearness of you invoked a loneliness i never knew before) Only when I sleep, am I awake. Sleep, and reels of thoughts spin on infinitesimal hope and sound waves lock with ropes of tears Sleep, and I’m drifting on the black waves of slumber, dreaming of your opaque eyes, the November sun, cigarettes and tangerine. But wake, and you will be just a quiet hope tucked under a wing of my prayer. Wake, and I cannot love you. by Fatimah Zainal Abidin, Georgetown, Malaysia Dreary Arizona Dreary Arizona, dripping cold, wet rain today. Blurry cars drive past out the windows under a low gray winter sky, but inside the temperature is rising as anger seeps through the walls like red paint poured on an altar. This day was meant for the opposite of what’s being felt right now; roses lay crushed and forgotten and the explanation is in pieces, set aflame all on the ground. Maybe if it was brought outside, it would turn to steam and then release the red-hate feeling to the gray and float away, harmless, on Saint Valentine’s day. by Kara Wixtrom, Gwinn, MI Our laughter a husky smoke-stained melody, we pop soda cans and toast them like ambrosia. the cliff we watch from withered with tattoo love and hate. But your poets’ eyes are fixed on me and my sutured scars throb with hope because your eyes are freedom life hope blue and they whisper behind frozen shadows the secrets of life (of death?) I sometimes wonder where you got those bruises on your arms but i don’t ask ’cause my bruises are pretty fresh too … (did i tell you that I love you?) So in my purple-leather princess trenchcoat and ratty jeans my sister wore I sit and watch the sunset with you, your scarlet hair tickling my hands as you rest your head on my thigh. The patchwork quilt of black and silver and garish blue is tucked around your curled form to keep off the winter’s laughter as we soak in heat from our concrete bed. And I sing us folk songs from countries we’ve never been to with you humming abstract chords to keep the roar of highway traffic at bay. as dreams and salt-scoured breaths take our souls to flight to adventures with our well-loved monsters and closet-skeletons as our guide while we wander away into the peace of oblivion. (Did i tell you that i Love You?) by Erin Osterlind, Oceanside, CA four letters Guilt drips off and burns like a melting candle. I still can feel a lingering flame haunting in the back of our minds. you snapped the Us in two. Summer nights with movies Our own romantic comedy in theaters Maybe you shouldn’t have said those horrific things and you wouldn’t have made a cut into a scar. I want to forget and let go Of your lifeline But a four-letter word Tightens my grip. by Hannah Schacherl, Oshkosh, WI One of Those People She was one of those people who ate breakfast in bed, Who woke up alone and Never listened to what her parents said. She was one of those people who bought window seats, Who boarded the plane and closed the shutter, Complaining of heat She was one of those people who closed her eyes, Who closed her eyes to the world And mumbled her good-byes. She was one of those people who put on her headphones, Who refused to talk, Who preferred to be alone. She was one of those people who thought the world was beautiful, Who believed it was good, But never tried to live in it. He was one of those people who lived life with ease, Who never took a coat And who loved the cool breeze. He was one of those people who loved with his heart, Who appreciated time together After being apart. He was one of those people who watched with his eyes, Who listened to his heart And who deemed it wise. He was one of those people who opened his soul, Who let into his life The world as a whole. He was one of those people who watched the world, Who lived, Who never let a second go by too soon. by Jason Tinero, Calabasas, CA Scar Tissue I don’t need him I don’t need his compliments to float through the telephone wire and slither in my ear Because once he’s gone they’ll fester turn ugly and backwards lies. I don’t need his kisses leaving trails from my lips to my neck. Bread crumbs that will lead me to him after he’s left. I don’t need the butterflies in my stomach whenever I think of him. When he changes his mind they’ll turn to bees and sting me so I can’t hardly breathe from the pain and swelling. They’ll fly up to my heart puncture it. And the scar tissue will be so thick that no one will ever breach my security ever again. I don’t need him. No. But I want him in a masochistic self-harming way. My bee-stung stomach aches with the thought of another love but it’s a good ache … He is a pain that hurts every part but makes every part stiff and stronger with light pink scar tissue. by Hannah Kiel, Bloomington, IL Series of Haikus: Detachment This is how it is: I loved you a little then, but not anymore. I’m not hiding now because trying to be yours was too difficult. We were not special or brilliant or lovelier than most. Not profound. I Hate Your Laugh I hate your eyes. But it’s not that murky excuse for green that I hate It’s their ability to stare in mine Hold them so intensely And pour Grade A lies so fluidly Sometimes I wonder why jewelers make necklaces shaped like hearts. They’re inaccurate, to begin with, they get the shape wrong, every time. I’ve never gotten an x-ray of my heart, but trust me, I’ve seen enough doctor shows on television to know what a heart looks like. Kay Jewelers, I’m sorry, but your design is wrong. Besides, why would I want to wear a heart around my neck? I have one already, thanks, beating loudly and proudly inside my chest. I don’t need a hunk of gold impersonating it. Plus, if I were to wear a second heart around my neck I would want it on something sturdy, maybe a chain like the kind in prisons to lock up the inmates. I want my heart safe, not dangling from a flimsy metal string. Heart-shaped necklaces seem so unnecessary Although I guess I can reason that it’s always convenient and even rather wise to hold an extra heart, just in case mine breaks somehow. by Michelle Lesniak, So. Plainfield, NJ Ninety-Four You said you wanted to be with me till we were 94, but the more and more I think about it I see you played me like your own guitar, you let me believe the distance wasn’t so far, and all the while you never gave an answer. You let me smile and trust, and now it’s all rust crumpled, scattered in the dust, and I must confess that I hate the fact that even though it was rushed I LOVED YOU. I guess you have another girl to share your insomnia with now, I guess you’ll tell her how she’s a “cute cherry” the same way you did with me, and I guess you’ve shut the door on 94 and I hope you know you can’t open it back up. Perhaps once, I fell into old habits of love – accidents happen. There are no fancy words to describe us because we were simply there. The Absurdity of a Heart-Shaped Necklace Art by Juice Choe, Powell, OH A Cadaver’s Heart We just were, right then. And so it worked, for a while – Then time slowed us down. Ashen light strikes his jigsaw puzzle heart, Cut with precision so rapier sharp; It’s fixed upon a tray, with gunk and grime, And handed off, a macabre Valentine. by Kaitlin Duchene, Tallahassee, FL by Amirio Freeman, Hampton, VA I hate your laugh. Like a teacher’s sturdy nails against the blackboard With a hint of base of course To make up for the basics that define you as a man. Maybe. I hate your hair. The eight-dollar bottle of that pharmacy chestnut brown That now traps your natural beach blonde locks I believe your haircut has been long overdue But that would mean chopping off your wannabe Bieber shag. I hate your teeth. Who knew behind those pearly whites Festered so much rage When you would clench them together Throwing one of your first-class hissy fits. What [I] hate the most about you? I don’t even know If you would be ab[L]e to comprehend the truth That I’m about to sh[O]ot through your veins If it could e[V]en sink through that thick skull Lay[E]red with your various comics And your classic John Ma[Y]er CD’s Y[O]u wo[U]ldn’t even be able to grasp it. So the question still stands. I can’t exactly put my finger on it. But. I’m pretty sure I just hate you. by Hannah Sawyer, No. Brunswick, NJ This Much I’ll write a love poem for you On the graffiti-covered wall of the bathroom stall In a rundown gas station in the middle of nowhere And I hope that says enough for you I hope it means enough to you That you won’t leave me here At a rundown gas station In the middle of nowhere. by Emi DeBruyn, Durham, NC by Kelly Long, Holbrook, MA Loveful Lust Crying Love Love is a funny thing It can be a cruel game Add -ed and it becomes what you were to me Add -s and it is what I still do to you Add -r and it is the thing you were, The thing that ended when we kissed Farewell and good-bye Love is funny sometimes It delights us in messing with our minds by Ellen Zhang, Troy, MI I feel these butterflies biting at the lining of my stomach, And that shock burning through my veins every time your hand brushes mine, Sitting at this table In this bar, Drawing our names on napkins, And sipping Dr. Pepper, It’s obvious what’s going on. But I’ve cried “love” too many times, and no one will believe us now. by Allyssa Lantis, Naylor, GA POETRY • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 43 education Spanish Weirdo they were learning each other. figuring each other out. there was no textbook, no equation, no handbook, no rules. they were trying. experimenting, testing, working. they learned each other by trial and error, secret by story by fear by passion, baby steps, then bigger, then bigger – but still not too fast. they asked questions she wondered he guessed what made her smile what made him laugh when to talk – when to listen when to challenge – when to accept they reached in through their stomachs and found each other’s soul hidden there in a nook behind the ribs adjacent to the heart a place where no one would think to go they mapped out the geography the ridges and the valleys the depths of the brokenness the mountains of elation they charted and plotted bar graphs of happiness line graphs of events data tables of everything in between they turned each other into math, for a while, before they knew better they learned the contour of the other’s face where the light had to hit to reflect their eyes the size of their hands the shape of her mouth the curve of his chin the freckles, the dimples, the indents, the prints some things they did wrong, only to be expected, here was an unexplored place – the being of another – they each knew to tread carefully baby steps, then bigger, then bigger – but still not too fast. they were only learning. Mira she says My name’s Mira as she shuts our front door calm cool and I nod to her fake Crocs and thick coffee hair Weirdo is what we called her because her name couldn’t fit into our mouths. In our second-grade classroom while we were throwing books across the classroom and wrestling on the rug, she was reading a chapter book. In the corner, alone, with concentration that couldn’t possibly be natural. All quiet and peaceful. It was like watching water stand still. And I can’t remember her saying a word. She didn’t like playing tag either. She ran funny. Her skinny legs took her nowhere. Once she was it, that was it – game over. She wore green leggings (Sometimes, they still had tomato sauce stains from last night’s dinner) with “sensible sneakers” without any brand name. Because her dad refused to condone Nike sweatshops A view that I would adopt later in life But was allowed to be blissfully unaware of until she told me while she sat on the sidelines during gym in middle school. That same day she told me she wanted pink spaghetti strap tops tight jeans and platform sandals like all the other girls She’d started crying in a shoe store once when her mother wouldn’t buy them for her. I nodded my head But she never gave me the chance to tell her “I understand” before she went back to reading. But I didn’t know that it mattered then by Danielle Colburn, Byron Center, MI Contrasting Shadows I wish I could just dip my hand into the light of morning and spread it evenly across your deepest shadows. These are the places where you hide and everything is tucked away neatly: all the words you want to set free but that remain caged behind the soft darkness. Don’t you know these things multiply? They only strengthen behind the bars. And someday they’ll spill, made savage by time. They’ll cut across this town this sad, awful, beautiful town where day and night lean toward each other but never meet. by Angela Adduci, Glen Ellyn, IL 44 Teen Ink • Eyes careful I think she knows why I stumble red and shaky Hello Hola I am embarrassed I want to say yeah we eat at McDonald’s too all the time like you like you Mira’s mom she cleans the floors so hard and shiny I feel small standing over the small woman as she wipes my dust and smiles We listen to “Swan Lake” in my room music box whirring and her lighter eyes softly clench my darker ones and she says I don’t know about you but this sort of depresses me I want to say me too me too but I keep quiet And I wonder about Spanish music not sad droopy but lights gold hoops like arms legs spinning hair waving tumbling She will be having a quinceañera in four years Eating quesadillas dancing with boys who are tall and know how And I know it is stupid but I want her to take me away by Hayun Cho, Wilmette, IL F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • POETRY I used to think of her when I watched “Matilda” I imagined that one day she was going to prove us all wrong. and start moving glasses of water with her mind, and that her name would be chanted in the schoolyard roll rhythmically off our tongues. Mostly I imagined her huddled in the public library on Saturday mornings reading every book in alphabetical order. She must’ve been in the Gs by now. Smack in the middle of Great Expectations She would show up in my dreams when things got lonely usually a white turtleneck and green legging ensemble. It was only in those dreams that I realized that the green matched her eyes just right I saw her for real once. I was fifteen and there she was on a fire escape, with a cigarette dangling from her lips, wearing a pink dress. I had to look away. by Cecilia Stein, Brooklyn, NY Art by Vivian Tong, San Francisco, CA You are my habit. You are nicotine-stained fingers, A rattling cough that reminds me that, yes, there is still air in my lungs, I can keep breathing. You are my ragged, broken nails, every chip and curve a canyon filled by nervous energy. You are a bag of chips, a banana, a cheese stick, a quart of ice cream, a pack of Starbursts, and a hot dog, every bite struggling to replace the empty pit that is my stomach. You are a shining, new credit card, purchase after purchase filling my arms, a poor facade for debt and guilt. You are my habit, and I’ve found, that the first step to quitting is admitting that you’re not my habit. You’re my addiction. by Audrey Deiss, Bethel, AK Coming Soon to a Life Near You In the air last night, there lurked an all-too-familiar cat. It snuck close and wrapped around us with the sound, a breeze that rustled soon rusted leaves as we sang of opening a restaurant in Santa Fe since all this misery pays no salary and as the L word fell like lightning bolts through the silence of the night The chill grew at the back of my mind “It can’t be Fall,” said the left side “It will be soon,” said the right by Brian Fitzpatrick, Chicago, IL The Year The year they played Frac Jack Was the one where he smiled And told her she was fine the way she was It was the year she blushed And locked her feelings out like intruders Because she didn’t know what to make of them The year they felt older Was the one where he whistled in the hallways And made friends with the right kids It was the year she forgot about him And was satisfied because She couldn’t handle any intrusions The year they stopped listening Was the one where his wrist borrowed the razor from his face And he kissed the pretty girl who had it all But it didn’t make things any better It was the year she opened the door And they talked about the trees While her stomach hurt and no one had any idea why The year they did nothing Was the one where his road stopped twisting for a moment And let him take a rest It was the year she spent in silence And watched him sleep while she tossed and turned Waiting for something Just anything at all Carousel Would you like to buy a ticket? said the master to the girl. And how could I refuse the lure of the whirl in your smile? Snow glare was our disguise, and gold-gilt poles that glittered east-to-west, in a spectrum of white and blue. The winds blew ice flakes into my eyes, they bit and stung, narrowed, my horizons shrank to you. You were beautiful, so bright, your gaily colored wooden horses spun us ’round and ’round. A perfect picture show you painted in mirrors and cracked glass, I thought it showed me everything. When dusk gathered, and the flying flakes slowed to a thinning veil of bright, I saw our horses could only run in circles. by Beatrice Waterhouse, Santa Rosa, CA The year they made speeches Was the one where he stopped and listened And gave her the chance to change his mind It was the year she begged and pleaded And ripped her hair out While he held her close For no reason at all The year they saved the world Was the one where he chose redheads over blondes And felt like for once, he was nothing more than ordinary It was the year her wrist stole the razor from his And she began to give up One scratch at a time The year they almost finished Was the one where he felt like things were hard And began to wonder why she always looked so sad It was the year she closed the book And turned out the light Gave him one last look because it was too hard not to The year he was leaving Was the one where he couldn’t let go And wondered why He hadn’t held the book open with all of his might. by Isabel Kerr, Greensboro, NC Capturing Love If love could be drawn, I’d grab every color, Use the globe as my canvas, And paint the world for you. by Emily Jones, St. John, WA Photo by Abigail Price, Uniontown, OH Plumey’s Brother I remember spotting you, a sleeping flame pushed against dirty glass and my heart got attached just from the very sight of your burning. After all, it was August and that coat you were wearing had me staring because it was hot as f*** from the sun’s constant blaring, and I wanted you out of that heat-ridden cage. And so it was; I unleashed you and your brother and only minutes passed before my mother came to a decision without my permission. Although I am not upset about the one we came to choose, time after time my thoughts move back to you, and I wonder if your fire is still burning like it used to. by Lauren Skaroff, Yardley, PA Memoir #67 Finders I’d like to say we met at the homecoming dance But my Sneakers squeaked too much And he was too curious Because Shoes make sounds that grate on nerves In a way that lets you know they are here I’d like to say that we both fell in love Staring into each other’s eyes as we passionately – but he thought I was annoying and I had no time for ones who did not appreciate my presence Squeaky Shoes or otherwise so a day passed and we saw each other in the hallway me with my Shoes and him with his unnerving stare Personally, though, I felt attached As if every passing glance or blink in My direction meant the world to me and therefore meant the world to him I didn’t understand the importance of dance But it was important to him and therefore important to me And so with loud Sneakers that sang along with the music and a dress that would much rather be paired with heels I moved and danced and my friends laughed and I squeaked and he stared and looked away and stared And I realized that prettygirls loved him and wasipretty? But he paid no mind to prettygirls and walked to me his shoes scuffled toward canary Sneakers beckoning him with sounds that only Shoes can make And we Danced and He Talked and Smiled and my sneakers were less audible Replaced by the beat of the music pounding Within my chest. I found the words hiding. Curled between my toes, Itching with every step. by Annabel Sharahy, Wayne, NJ Parallel Parking Ink fingerprints stain the palms of my hands And your terrified white words whisper along alleyways Masking my forearmed fear with hope For starlight encrusted highways of tomorrow Tingling sensations in my toes point me in your direction Knowing that I’ve taken these defiant steps before And even with car-crash likelihood I’ll take them again Tainted solemn cries From one or two or all of us, together Gasping for breaths or twinges or jolts of happiness Ringing from the ones we’ll somehow justly love, always Molten black asphalt stains the soles of our feet As we chase after your soul along derelict suburban roads Palpably, I hear her grovel for more chances Hoping, if nothing else, mine are superior in eloquence. They are the poems. Poems hiding in corners of mouths Pulled upwards in a smirk. Drifting through fingers Of pleading hands. Fingers running rough, Feeling the raised edges Of blank canvas And listening to whispers Of words indiscernible But still I listen, Blessed by ignorance, Blessed by things I can’t understand, While my strained ears Line thick with perfect words. by Caitlin Wolper, New City, NY On Life Not Having a Pause Button She likes a boy And her grandfather’s in a hospital Some six thousand miles away, Surviving every day but Slowly losing his smile. She likes a boy And her grandfather has thirty-six Tumors on his spine, Two in his pancreas And says he feels fine but He’s refusing to eat. She likes a boy And her grandfather might not Make it until Christmas, Her grandfather who played chess And laughed his chesty laugh And poured her wine she wasn’t Really supposed to have. She likes a boy And she doesn’t know if she should Keep on living or Pause, Temporarily, and pray that Her grandfather, who sat every morning Reading the paper and jumping at her hello, Could make it through. She likes a boy And her grandfather was never religious, And he wants to live so badly, Because he never wants to waste a second Of what he has, Because life is the only thing that is Solid and certain. She likes a boy And she feels selfish, living When her grandfather’s life is so tentative, But when she tries to Pause, She can’t get life to stop. She likes a boy And she walks with him And she thinks of her grandfather And she lives Because it’s the only thing She knows she can do. by Amy Clark, Santa Monica, CA by Tess Edwards, Perry Hall, MD POETRY • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 45 Liberty Dragging Me In A Winter’s Breeze What Georgia Did When the sun glares in from the wrong direction, I sit down in the kitchen with my coffee mug in hand peering down into valleys in the creaky teak table. Sapphire eyes With little flecks of green Bursting with light Caught in the undertow of your stare. The crisp wind, like freshly prepped cookie dough, is Numbing my skin with a burning brush. As the soft air scrapes past me, I peer across the terrace. “I’ll paint them big,” she said, and so she did – sending huge splashes of color rolling across sinewy canvasses, rioting through art halls. She escorted the dusky palette of the desert to the ambitious New York skyline. She brought the beauty of bypassed details, blossoming with swirls of fluorescents and pastels to the eyes of the fast-walking, fast-talking, fast-living city-people. Her careful eyes searched out the modest furrows, the bold ripples of huddled petals, breathing soft reverberations of life into her page. Georgia paid homage to what no one else did: The flawless energy of a flower. “It’s actually supposed to be a soup bowl,” my mother would mention gently – embarrassed by my incorrect usage of the mug: Long black lashes Contrast with the deep blue Reach out and grab me Dragging me in. I can see a winter’s eternity burning with passion The liberated winter landscape concealed with the color white concerned, as she was to teach me social graces and manners tying me down arbitrarily. Drawing my eyes to yours Our eyes so close Almost touching Our lashes knit together A house sparrow tickles the attic, giggling And I hear bees dozing with a quiet purr under my shutters outside; it is cold, I remember wiggling my toes inside woolen socks. Making us Part of each other. Binding a couple into One. by Nick Lee, Clarkston, MI by Rachel Henline, Irmo, SC Fairy Tales This Poem Will Satirize Poems I used to call you my white knight. When we were five, You saved me from the dragons in my backyard And promised to make me your queen. “We’ll have to set traps to get them out,” my father would conclude, sighing. Still I climb the stairs, carefully opening my attic door and excited sparrows flitter this way and that around my head, past my ears with a sing-song longing as they careen down the stairs with me; I see their wings, striped tawny and white blaze past me and I let the windows fly open, embracing the buzzing bees, awakened from their winter nap while the curtains float melodically in frigid air surrounding me like a blanket of ice, hugging me as the sparrows swerve into the open like freed souls dancing down from heaven back to the life they had missed, to the life they had wished for. I remember now that my parents aren’t here; and their advice, well-founded, maybe, isn’t always right. Dust bunnies hiding in corners cautiously waltz onto the open floor desiring the same freedoms, but too afraid to ask outright, “Go ahead!” I cry, “Go!” The doorway accepts them without doubt, without judgment, without prejudice. An Apple (notice the capitalization It’s important (That line break was too) And the reference to Adam and Eve) Sidles and slouches in a wrinkled cluttered place (the line is Cluttered and there is an alliteration also I am vague) Mold creeps, With personification, On our old apple (I’m addressing you) A worm won’t ever choose To reside within Such a place. (Nobody wants the apple because mankind has ruined Our knowledge (that’s commentary On society with a rhyme.) by Abigail Schneider, New York, NY “Go ahead!” the hinges on the door shout, “Go!” and everyone now has found freedom, I know, myself included as I sink blissfully to the earth and blow away with the affectionate wind. Just then a rabbit hopped across the scene With clumsy yet precise movements through the deep snow. It’s time to go back to sleep. It’s winter. In time, you threw aside your Plastic breastplate And grew steel under your skin. I always wondered whether you really felt no pain In your new armor Or if it simply kept the hurricane in your eyes from Spilling out. I dropped my tiara at the last show-and-tell Before middle school. The flexible plastic snapped on impact And I learned to find a different kind Of dragon: a dragon that breathed sweet talk and empty promises I learned to spar with my own words I learned to stand my own ground I learned to play carefully with needles Never to accept fruit from strangers And not to underestimate the utility of talking mice. But sometimes When the walls of my castle feel a little Too thin And the drawbridge shakes under my feet I think I still need a knight And I wonder if that hurricane has Finally seen its Rainbow. by Bethany Clarke, Gilford, NH What Apparently Seems Ordinary An ordinary Experience of life, So it would always Seem. A life with Ordinary Leaves, Randomly placed on Ordinary Trees. A capture of Ordinary Skies, Melted together with Ordinary Greens – And some Ordinary Sea – Past illustrations of how ordinary life – Was previously Seen. Years have added some “Ordinary” War. Years have added some “Ordinary” Gore. Years have added some “Ordinary” Sin. Regretfully Now – These are All seen as ordinary Happenings. The ordinary Car-Crashes-into that ordinary Tree. The ordinary Plane-Falls-from that capture of ordinary skies. The ordinary Being-Dies-onto those ordinary Greens, And the ordinary Ship-Sinks-within that ordinary Sea. These used to be Unordinary things. Until the moment He saw that Ordinary Life as something – No Longer – Interesting. by Jenna Atta, Kensington, MD by Catherine Kulke, Wellesley, MA Kisses by Rachel Spayd, Stockton, NJ Faces $limy I told her that her face was my favorite face of all the faces I had ever been with. First, exploratory, exciting, and nervous. Fumbling, young, freckled, and watched. Bossy, uncomfortable, worried, and new. Titillating, right, wrong, and exhibited. Deep, sweet, delicious, and loving. Curious, devastating, exciting, and of cannabis. Casual, wasted, forgetful, and regretted. Friendly, acceptable, fun, and arousing. Funny, desirable, awkward, and a lost bet. Erotic, swirling, hair-pulling, and exotic. Rough, unexpected, hungry, and perfect. Non-consensual, struggling, aggravated, and slobbery. Clumsy, doomed, musical, and unlikely. The color of the bad weather Has let go the hundred little fingers of red, green, yellow, blue, and numb of black sticks Cecito and Arturito, scuttles off dodging the many schoolyard colors With a geography of scars Crooked hair and crooked teeth by Jacob Wilson, Clinton, TN Art by Ama Liyanage, Mississauga, ON, Canada What Love Taught So I told her I liked her laugh, too, and she seemed to like that better. Love has only taught Me how to hurt somebody Without a weapon I asked her if she liked my face. She said she preferred my hands. by Kate Dudek, Memphis, TN 46 Teen Ink • She laughed and told me that her face had nothing to do with who she was. F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • POETRY by Tyler Peschel, Newburgh, NY by Jenn Smith, Shelburne, NS, Canada Sorry I won’t do it. I can’t. Who do they think they are, Trying to make me lose All status at school, at home, In all of my life? To do that now Would be To back down, To show weakness, To be forever remembered As the one who listened To the voice Of “authority.” And who do they think they are anyway? Just a bunch Of people who come and try To teach us stuff, but really, Really, Does anyone think that they actually Succeed? I can’t back down. I’ve done nothing wrong. I don’t need some adult taking my hand And saying, “Come on, girl, apologize to What’s-her-face,” Because, Goodness knows, That would be the Be-all, end-all Of humiliation. What’s the point of apologizing anyway? Just because you maybe Say someone’s shirt is not gorgeous, Or that their art project looks like An elephant painting (Which was meant to be a compliment Anyway, you idiots – I was being kind and not calling It the garbage heap it truly is!) Doesn’t mean you should Prostrate yourself before them, saying, “Oh, you poor mistreated little person (Calling them idiot, sadly, is not an option) I’m sorry, so sorry, Will you ever forgive my humble soul” And all that nonsense. It’s time people learn to grow up, ’cuz In the big, wide world out there Not everything is perfect. Not everything is great. And people need to get over it. I’m not perfect. Nobody is. And how, just how, Is it fair that some Very imperfect (Drinking coffee while we do their stupid assignments, Treating us like little kids) People get to chose when and to whom We repent? There’s another thing I’m annoyed about. When we have to say sorry For every little thingy-ma-bopper, It kind of diminishes the purpose For when there are big “Sorry’s” Necessary, when you Kill people, Hurt people, Tell your parents big whopping lies – That type of thing. Sorry is overused now, Like no offense. So I don’t like apologies. And while you have the authority, And are determined to make it happen, I will say sorry. I will not like it. And I will not mean one letter of it. Goodness gracious, what’s happening To the English language now? Sorry if I’ve offended you. by Katelyn Hefter, San Ramon, CA Rapunzel Her hair broke the scales. 5 minutes for every strand to reach the bottom, celestial threads moving as one animal. Undeniably, it’s beautiful, like a National Park or a thin golden hand. But what would happen if each nervous fiber was daintily cut from its own system? Would the little umbilical cords scream in their own detachment like stirred spaghetti? Would a weight be lifted from her head? There, she could grow a halo. I don’t want to tell you how many hair stylists have either cried or paid her just to touch it. She hasn’t used it as a whip, or a lasso, or a blanket, but she could. If it came to her waist, maybe even skimming her hips, I’d be satisfied. I’d wait until she’d fallen asleep, take out blades, scissors, and hack it all off. Grasp it in my hands, victoriously, glue her severed locks to my own head. by Claudia Taylor, West Tisbury, MA Esmeralda she wore daisies, woven into a Crown, in her hair. her bones were thin, like the pages of the Bible, but her heart was strong. her winged shoulder blades and sharp elbows were batons. she said the color gray smelled deeply of The New York Times and fish. she said that power and beauty were distributed equally like communism. eventually her lips parted to reveal the gleam of a white Lie, mistaken for her teeth. her words then made an incision in my chest and stole whatever remained inside. that Esmeralda was in such a daze for so long that one day, she was forgotten. by Luo Qi Kong, Brooklyn, NY The Mystery of Me At first I don’t exist, But I can be brought to life by anyone or anything. Just like everything else, As I get older, I get bigger I grow and grow and eventually, As I come to the end of my life, I disappear … But, In contact with another person or another thing, I come to life again, And the process starts over, I get bigger, And bigger, And then I disappear. This is my life. I die, I reappear. A single touch, Creates my entire being. Young at first, Then old not seconds later. Here I am, And there I go, I am a ripple or a ring in a stream. Photo by Michelle Kiss, Vancouver, WA Today I wrote a song. I called an old friend. I ate an apple. Today I drove barefoot. I sang loudly in the car. I let my hand Catch the air. Today I rolled down a hill. I caught a ladybug. I named it Frederick. Today I bought a homeless person food. I walked with him to the park. I taught him how to play guitar. Today I realized life doesn’t have to be complicated. by Kara Oyer, No. Tonawanda, NY Pastoral Sea A current whips across green tendrils A wave of emerald spreading over a vast void A shoal of robins floats up to the sky And come down again to glide over the crests. by Sarah Logan, Tulsa, OK Maybe Maybe today The words will bloom and I will walk barefoot through the grass collecting them, sweet and ripe, in a warm woven basket nestled beneath my arm. A school of wooly critters Frolic in the foam And a solitary trawl Springs from swell to swell. The fisherman wades in the depths Whistling to his beast A swiftly moving shark That hauls the mob together. by Mariah Cleveland, Gilmanton IW, NH Break Up, Wake Up Today I woke up and washed the tears off my face I made myself tea and not in the mug you used last in fact, I washed it twice, with fresh lemon soap and scrubbed all the coffee away so yeah, mug in shirt in the box by the door Oh, and I vacuumed up the footprints even the teeny tiny crumbs of dirt every last atom of you Maybe today. But The words hanging on their soft green stalks are too high for my reaching fingers, my thread is twisted and knotted, your peeling picketed gate is closed and my hammer cannot be found. Maybe today I will be brave enough to give you My carefully strung garland of words. Today I shut the door with a final click and honey, I opened some windows. Or maybe tomorrow. by Lisa Moskowitz, Orange, VA POETRY Maybe today I will take my dented hammer with its worn wooden handle and pound my words above your door where you will see them before I can change my mind again. Maybe today I will watch you walk through your green picketed gate with its peeling paint I love so much and see your kind lips shape the message I have left you. and I wrapped it up in the shirt you left in my car it's all clean now and smells like flowers not you I threw all the letters and dead flowers away and put the box out on the porch Maybe today I will thread my glistening needle with long pieces of pale blue string take the words from their place and string them into a garland of what-I-want-to-tell-yous by Emma Vargo, Grand Rapids, MI • F E B R U A RY ’ 1 2 • Teen Ink 47