SEPT 2016 - Teen Ink
Transcription
SEPT 2016 - Teen Ink
28 Years OCT 2016 $ 8.95 CONTENTS OCTOBER 2016 | VOL. 28, NO. 2 TEENS, GET PUBLISHED! 4 Feedback 18-19 College Directory 27 Art Gallery Submit online at www.TeenInk.com THE FINE PRINT • How to submit. All submissions of writing and artwork through our website, TeenInk.com, are considered for publication in print and online, and are also automatically entered into any relevant contests. We no longer accept submissions by mail or e-mail. Nonfiction 6-7 • Plagiarism. Teen Ink has a no-tolerance policy for plagiarism. We check the originality of all published work through WriteCheck. • Editing. For space and other reasons, we reserve the right to publish our edited version of your work without your prior approval. • Anonymity. If, due to the personal nature of a piece, you don’t want your name published online or in print, we will respect that request, but we must still have accurate name and address information for every submission. • Complimentary copy. Teens published in the magazine will receive a free copy of the issue containing their work. • Submitted work becomes the property of Teen Ink. By submitting your work to us, you are giving Teen Ink and its partners, affiliates, and licensees the non-exclusive right to publish your work in any format, including print, electronic, and online media. However, all individual contributors to Teen Ink retain the right to submit their work for non-exclusive publication elsewhere, and you have our permission to do so. Teen Ink may edit or abridge your work at its sole discretion. To prevent others from stealing your work, Teen Ink is copyrighted by The Young Authors Foundation Inc. SUBSCRIBE & SUPPORT TEEN INK IN OUR 28TH YEAR! 8 9 10-14 15 16 17 20-23 24 26 The media carnival • A liberal teen in Alabama • Political mood swings • Hypnos ELECTION 2016 Kick like a girl • The herd SPORTS PROFILES IN COURAGE FOOD Former Tennessee Senator Howard Baker Essays about what we eat and what it means POINTS OF VIEW ”Girl gamers” speak out • Uncensored PRIDE & PREJUDICE Feminism for all • Asian American identity My mother’s cancer • Asperger’s • ’Tis a Lisp HEALTH Am I a monster? • A moment of peace • Remembering Autumn • Dear Me • Fat and funny • Failing Noah • Heads will roll • Autumn Beholder MEMOIRS ENVIRONMENT Factory farming TRAVEL & CULTURE Finding my story in Israel • Baggage Reviews 25 28 29 30 31 COLLEGES TV Tulane University • Drexel University Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey • Rampo Kitan • Tokyo Ghoul MOVIES Evil Dead • It • A Series of Unfortunate Events MUSIC John Lennon • Sia • Imagine Dragons BOOKS The Enemy • Invisible • The Last Maasai Warriors 32-37 Fiction Halloween Horror 38-47 Poetry ☐ $45 INDIVIDUAL SUBSCRIPTION One copy per month for 10 months (we don’t publish in July and August). Please enclose a check or credit card information. • • • • • ☐ $99 EDUCATOR SPECIAL One copy per month for 10 months, plus three 30-copy boxes over the course of the school year. ☐ $215 CLASS BOX SET ON THE COVER 30 copies of Teen Ink each month for 10 months. Food Focus Sexism in Gaming Subscriber name: ______________________________________________ Rosh Hashanah dinner • Grains of rice • Zen of supermarkets • Avocado aficionado • Picky picky picky • Authentic Italian food • Making kugelis with Grandma • My favorite Chinese joint • PB&J • Dangerous durian “Whether it’s the objectification and sexualization of female characters or the cruel treatment of “gamer girls,” it’s clear that equality in the gaming community is an achievement yet to be unlocked.” School name (for Class Sets): ______________________________________ pages 10-14 Fill out this form and mail it to us, or subscribe quickly and securely at www.teenink.com/subscribe. Prices include shipping and handling. Purchase order # (if available): __________________ ☐ MC ☐ VISA Card #_____________________________ Exp. _____ Address: ☐ School ☐ Home ______________________________________ City: ____________________________ State: _______ ZIP: ______________ E-mail: __________________________________________________________ page 15 Halloween Horror 100% spooky fiction pages 32-27 Phone: __________________________________________________________ MAIL TO: TEEN INK • BOX 30 • NEWTON, MA 02461 WW/PP 10/16 Cover photo by Hana Wiessmann, State College, PA FEEDBACK Autobiography of a Latino Urban Kid “There Will Be Light: Autobiography of a Latino Urban Kid” is moving from start to finish. It tells the true story of a Latino boy growing up in New York. Isaac describes the struggles his family faced, from his mother’s attempt to find work to the issue of domestic violence. This article is, in short, phenomenal. Isaac’s writing grabbed my attention and held it throughout. This article was relatable since my parents also moved here from different countries. My mom worked many jobs before finally settling down. She too had to put up with abuse before my father left and my parents got a divorce. One of the most important points was Isaac’s grandmother’s advice: “The possibilities are endless. You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. All you need is hard work and dedication, and you will succeed as long as you have a plan,” which is brilliant advice, no matter the situation. Vivien Souvorova, Brooklyn, NY Thank You Dear Editors of Teen Ink, I wish to express my gratitude. Before Teen Ink, I thought I was a good writer. I loved to write and thought I was going to be a famous author one day. Then I went on TeenInk.com. There, I saw all these amazing works by teens just like me, with writing ranging from fiction to opinion pieces on the death penalty. Yet, I saw how little of it was chosen for publication in the magazine and how even fewer won Teen Ink awards. First I thought, Piece of cake! I’m gonna get published in no time! I wrote something and submitted it, “knowing” it would get published. When it didn’t, I shrugged it off, thinking, Whatever. The next one’s probably going to be published. But it wasn’t. I’m not complaining about how hard it is to get published in this magazine – I’m thanking you. Box 30 • Newton, MA 02461 (617) 964-6800 Editor@TeenInk.com www.TeenInk.com Publishers Stephanie Meyer John Meyer Senior Editor Stephanie Meyer Managing Editor Emily Sperber Production Katie Olsen Editor Cindy Spertner Assistant Editor Natasza Gawlick Advertising John Meyer Natasza Gawlick Volunteer 4 Barbara Field To submit your feedback or find the articles mentioned, go to TeenInk.com Before, I was blind to what might be published. I thought my writing was good enough. I was wrong. Now I see how great the competition is, and I’m not giving up. I’m using this as a challenge. Now I inspire myself through others’ stories and make my writing better. I should have known the publishing world wouldn’t be easy. Thank you for creating this website. Lydia Park, Oakland, NJ Why I Need to Go to College “Why I Need to Go to College” by “Amy” opened my eyes. It made me appreciate what my parents have provided for me and my siblings. Amy is determined to accomplish her goals because “too many people have sacrificed their lives, family, and time to give [her] the chance for a better life.” I completely agree, because my parents didn’t receive the same education that I have been able to have. So it’s almost as if the goals I achieve in school are a present for them. Thank you, Amy, for sharing your experience and showing us the importance of paying back our family’s sacrifices. Fabiola Valentin, Phoenix, AZ Hijab In “Hijab,” Aribah explained the stereotypes she experienced wearing the hijab and the misconceptions people have about them, like “hijabis are quiet and traditional” and “women who wear a hijab are oppressed and are forced to wear it.” A woman even called her a terrorist because of her hijab. Aribah suggests that the world should stop stereotyping and that we must be more careful about what we say and to whom we say it. I enjoyed this piece and liked what it stood for. Like Aribah, I am a Muslim, and my sisters wear hijabs. Luckily, they’ve never been verbally or physically abused, but people have called me names because CIRCULATION Reaching millions of teens in junior and senior high schools nationwide. THE YOUNG AUTHORS FOUNDATION The Young Authors Foundation, publisher of Teen Ink, is a nonprofit corporation qualified as a 501(c)3 exempt organization by the IRS. The Foundation, which is organized and operated exclusively for charitable and educational purposes, provides opportunities for the education and enrichment of young people. FREQUENCY Ten monthly issues, from September to June. ADDITIONAL COPIES Send $6.95 per copy for mailing and handling. of my religion. Like Aribah I just try to ignore them. Aribah is correct – this society should stop stereotyping and live in unity. Mustafa Hayder, Brooklyn, NY My Mother’s Ungiven Testimony I found “My Mother’s Ungiven Testimony” by “Cathy” moving because it reflects my father’s hard life. She writes that her “mother’s parents were alcoholics” and her father asserted his “dominance, verbally and physically.” This is so similar to the childhood beatings my father got from his alcoholic father. Like Cathy’s mother, “pain and betrayal shaped … and, ironically, alcohol took over” my father’s life. However, soon after I was born he reawakened and fell in love with his children, which helped him overcome the temptations of addiction. Thank you, Cathy, for having the courage to write about your mother’s struggles. Her story inspired me to share my father’s. Daisy Mendoza, Phoenix, AZ Marionette “Marionette” by Gabriel Goodpaster is probably my favorite poem. Every word just clicked in my mind. The sad thing is, a lot of people have an emotionally dependent experience. It’s not that they want to ride this roller coaster of emotions; sometimes people don’t know how to escape, and find themselves attached to these “strings,” as Gabriel writes. If this was what the author was attempting, the portrayal was perfect. I look forward to seeing more work from Gabriel in Teen Ink. Emmanuel Figueroa, New Castle, DE Not that Korean The second I saw “Not that Korean” by Irene Park, my eyes were drawn to every word, as if it were something vital to my survival. The piece is a glimpse into a Korean-American’s life as she grew up. Irene depicts the struggles of fitting in as an Asian with an American lifestyle. When she started school, she was mocked by her white peers, and called a “Ching Chong Chinaman.” Later, she was deemed by her Asian peers as not a “true Asian.” As I read this, it was almost like looking into a mirror. It wasn’t just the fact that I am also Asian-American. It is that I grew up in almost the same situation. Many of my relatives speak only Chinese. When I was younger, I could speak and understand the language. However, I have completely abandoned it and now only understand a few phrases, like “Brush your teeth” and “Get off your phone and go to bed.” A line that stood out to me most was “I was embarrassed by everything Asian.” I was shocked to realize that I feel the same way. I hate traditional Chinese clothes, as they are too conspicuous. I am embarrassed by how the Chinese language sounds like you’re yelling. And most of all, I am embarrassed about how I look. I hate my hair, which is, for some reason, unaffected by a comb. I hate my skin color, which I try every summer to hide with a tan. My eyes are wider than most Asians’ but smaller than most Americans’. Irene’s piece taught me about myself. The most important thing is to embrace everything. I am Asian, but I like the American culture and lifestyle more. I am ambitious in school and underestimated in sports. I have to find, as Irene states, the “best of both worlds,” like a true Asian-American. Gavin Zhao, Brooklyn, NY Can you caption this cartoon? NOTICE TO READERS Teen Ink is not responsible for the content of any advertisement. We have not investigated advertisers and do not necessarily endorse their products or services. EDITORIAL CONTENT Teen Ink is a monthly journal dedicated to publishing a variety of works written by teenagers. Copyright © 2016 by The Young Authors Foundation, Inc. All rights reserved. Publication of material appearing in Teen Ink is prohibited unless written permission is obtained. PRODUCTION Teen Ink uses Adobe InDesign to design the magazine. Illustration by Haley Welliver, Seattle, WA $50 PRIZE FOR THE WINNING ENTRY! Go to TeenInk.com to submit your caption Winner randomly chosen from the entries Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 Would you go against the crowd to do what is right? John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage Essay Contest Celebrate the JFK Centennial: A Legacy of Courage and Service First-place winner receives the special Centennial prize of $20,000. Deadline for submission is January 4, 2017. F==@:<F=LE;<I>I8;L8K<8;D@JJ@FE /'' =FI;?8Ds\eifcc7]fi[_Xd%\[lsnnn%]fi[_Xd%\[l For contest information and the Centennial-Year essay topic, visit www.JFKlibrary.org With support from e n i l n o k n I n e e l l T a f a s Take g class thi n i t i r w n o i t c i f n No e v i t a re C & g n iti er r b o W t e c v i O n i eat r t r C a n t e s Te ssions Se Go to TeenInk.WritingClasses.com or call 1-800-363-1986 Only teenagers aged 13-19 are eligible O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 5 election 2016 The Media Carnival I Ouroborus, the serpent swallowing its own n the months leading up to the presidential electail, the coverage of the election is now part tion, it’s been nearly impossible to turn on the of the story being covered. Twice recently television or go online without being bombarded The New York Times has run stories on its by a virtual fireworks display of election-related own reporting of the election, the first on its news. As stakes rise and emotions intensify, navifailure to cover misleading statements made gating through this barrage of memes, GIFs, posts, by Hillary Clinton regarding the investigation and tweets can feel less like “checking the news” of her e-mails, and the second on the unique and more like stumbling into a carnival funhouse. challenges and responsibilities of journalists Sound bites from stump speeches blare over one covering this election. Several months ago, another and images flash at seizure-inducing rates, it was national news when CNN anchor Jake some showing the candidates polished and carefully Tapper asked Donald Trump 23 follow-up posed before a backdrop of red, white, and blue, questions about comments he’d made that others captured from awkward, unflattering angles a judge’s race deemed him that make them appear foolish or incapable of doing his job. stark-raving mad. Here, in the midst won praise and attention of the so-called Information Age, We must resist Tapper for refusing to be bulldozed or when the line grows ever thinner between media and social media, the urge to take side-stepped by Trump, which begs the question, What has between reality TV and reality, it’s the click-bait happened to truth and accountharder and harder to know which ability when a journalist doing his job sources are worthy of our trust. is news? Traditionally, Americans have The fact is that Trump is, in many ways, a media depended on the media to hold politicians accountcreation, and it’s worth wondering if he would be able and keep the public informed. Over time, the Republican party nominee if his opponents had though, we’ve become increasingly accustomed to gotten the same amount of coverage that he had the subjectivity of news outlets. Most Americans are during the primaries. Yes, a train wreck is interestaware that they will likely get a different spin – or a ing. But when an actual train is involved in an actual different story altogether – from FOX News versus wreck, we expect journalists to do more than simply MSNBC. On some level, we expect certain stories to show us images of flames and carnage. We expect be used as click-bait or to drive up ratings. Similarly, them to explain what happened, why, and how it we are not overly surprised to learn that our politicould have been prevented. We expect them to show cians have at one time or another bent the truth. And us the story from different angles, to explore the yet, with this election, things seem to have escalated ramifications, to interview those whose lives will to a dizzying extreme. be forever changed. In short: we expect them to ask To complicate matters further, the media has questions and get answers. become the subject of its own reporting. Like High School Politics B eing a liberal in Alabama is a bit uncommon. When you live in the most conservative part of the country, it’s expected that there will be Republican organizations in high school. But what about the Democrats? What about those who view the world in a less traditional way? I’d never been into clubs in my high school, but on a whim I decided to start a chapter of High School Democrats of America (HSDA) freshman year. No matter what your beliefs, I’m sure the majority of us can agree that it’s important to stand for what you believe in, even as a teen. With that in mind, I contacted the state chair of HSDA and began what would be an incredibly grueling process to establish the chapter. When my peers heard, several confronted me saying, “Are you joking? We’re in Alabama. Nobody is going to come to your meetings.” In all honesty, I believed that even before they said it. I was sure there were at least 20 or 30 students who identified as liberals, but would they defy the widely held beliefs and attend meetings? Despite my doubts, and encouragement from some of my friends and my dad, I proceeded. 6 by Jayson Thompson, Montclair, NJ Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 Photo by Kaylee Keesler, Bancroft, MI This is arguably one of the most important presidential elections in history. And as responsible citizens, if we expect the media to hold our politicians accountable for their spin, their selective truths, and their outright lies, we must first hold the media accountable for what and how they report. Now, more than ever, we need to resist the urge to take the click-bait. This is not a TV show, not a meme. The results of this election will effect not just America but the entire world. And so we must require our journalists to do more than simply show us footage and feed us sound bites. We need them to ask hard questions and keep asking until they get answers. Amidst this swirl of mayhem, we need our media not to coax us deeper into the house of mirrors, but to guide us out of it into the light. ✦ by Julia Coccaro, Spanish Fort, AL “I would love to be part of it, but unFinding a sponsor was the hardest step. fortunately, I have a lot on my schedule,” I e-mailed every teacher I thought might she said. She recommended a tenth-grade be remotely liberal. My English teacher history teacher I didn’t know personally. responded and asked for me to send the I smiled and thanked her but waved off bylaws to our principal. Overjoyed, I her suggestion. I then went to the AP Bie-mailed them, then approached her in ology teacher, who was also the captain class and asked what was next. “I’ll talk of varsity Scholar’s Bowl, so I knew her to the principal and we can get things on a personal level. “Well, I don’t want going,” she said. to start a war on the science A month passed. Then hall,” she said. She nodded another. Then another. the classroom next My excitement lessened “I don’t want to toward to hers, where I saw in with each passing week. big, bold letters, “Teenage I frequently approached start a war on Republicans.” She, too, my teacher and asked the science hall” mentioned the tenth-grade about the process, but she history teacher. “This continually dismissed me. would be a pretty controThe school year wound to versial club, and he loves starting stuff,” an end. By summer, all enthusiasm I had she said. had dissipated. During the first week of sophomore A nearly seven-foot-tall football coach, this teacher was the last person I expectyear, I went to my former English teached to sponsor the chapter. But I trusted er’s classroom only to find that she had her judgment and sent him an e-mail. left. Disappointed, I began to lose hope He responded quickly and told me that of ever starting a HSDA chapter. I kept he would be happy to do it. I couldn’t telling myself that I would e-mail more believe it! teachers, but I procrastinated, fearful of Thus, the chapter of HSDA was born. more failure. Finally, in October, I stayed I was almost unbearably nervous at our after school to talk to my new English first meeting. I didn’t know what to teacher. COMMENT expect, how many people would come, or if just my friends would politely show up because I had begged them. But amazingly, 20 people came! I introduced the purpose of the club and the difference I hoped to make. Overall, it was successful, and I was thrilled with the turnout. Now, we have monthly meetings and discuss current events. We’re in the process of preparing for a debate with the Teenage Republicans, which I can assure you will be very interesting. In December, I was elected as South Regional Director for Alabama High School Democrats, and have recently been selected to write for HSDA’s blog, the Progressive Teen. I’m going to Washington, D.C., this June for HSDA’s annual summit, where I will get to meet Democratic officials and tour the White House. In the five short months since this chapter began, I’ve received amazing opportunities, met fascinating people, and encouraged others to advocate for their beliefs. I implore you to get involved in school or community organizations and work to make a difference. Opportunities don’t always fall into your lap. Sometimes, you have to create your own. ✦ ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM H istorian Arthur Schlesinger described a phenomenon where a general dissatisfaction causes a shift in the national mood. This occurs when our country feels a change is necessary and mindsets switch from liberalism to conservatism or vice-versa during a transition period, according to Schlesinger. These periods of liberalism or conservatism are usually bookended by presidential elections. As disapproval for a president grows, the public looks for a candidate from the other party to fix the perceived mistakes or shortcomings. In the runup to the election next month, it has become clear that many voters are seeking to transition away from the liberal period that began with the 2008 presidential election. The national liberal mentality that accompanied most of Barack Obama’s term was marked by one major successful unifying social movement and three extremely divisive policies. The successful part should be fairly obvious: the LGBTQ rights movement. This cultural shift, which 10 years ago seemed unlikely, is now seemingly accepted by both parties. Gay marriage is now legal in all 50 states, and the Obama administration deserves some credit for this change. However, any sort of victory that has come out of the past eight years will most likely be overshadowed by three policies that split our government in two. The first, in the eyes of the idealist, was an attempt to make a dream happen, but to the realist it was a poorly executed nightmare of unbearable cost. The Affordable Care Act radically changed the our country’s health care system for the first time in 40 years. The idea was to offer affordable health insurance to all people, just as dozens of other countries have. However, since its introduction as a bill, the policy has been considered by many nothing more than a wild maze of red tape. Several bouts in the Supreme Court, and a 16-day government shutdown later, this painfully controversial law continues to be a dividing force between the two parties. Now, in the eyes of many, Barack Obama is a socialist. Another controversy of the Obama administration has been the Iranian Nuclear Deal of 2015. Following its announcement, it was immediately condemned by numerous Republicans. Republican presidential candidates slammed the deal, insisting that they could have done better. They cited a need for more protection for our country and the safety of the people of Israel, according to an article in The Atlantic. Obama was seen as far too soft in far too serious a situation. For many, the idea of an unfriendly country like Iran having any sort of nuclear program sounded like a death wish. All of these may be reasons for a shift in our national mood and leadership. After all, it would be pretty hard to deny that the blunders of Republican president George W. Bush made it easier for Democrat Barack Obama to take his place. Have the divisive, “socialist” policies of Obama made it easier for FOLLOW US ON by Chris Rosica, Madison, NJ Donald Trump, a Republican capitalist candidate, to gain traction in this election? We can find a correlation by looking at how each new president may be a national reaction to the last. For that reason, it is important to analyze and understand where Bush went wrong, and where the public turned on him. The national shift toward liberalism stems from three major failures of George W. Bush’s presidency following its first turning point, 9/11. President advisers for warning about the cost of the war and the dangers of deficit spending when it was not needed. For all these reasons, people will always relate their dissatisfaction and frustration from 2000 to 2008 with the Bush administration. In this time of frustration and disapproval, it is quite obvious why the public elected a young, charismatic, liberal, black senator who ran on the idea of “hope” for the future. So now, in the final year of President Obama’s second General dissatisfaction can term, will we see a migration toward more conservative cause a shift in the national mood policies? Or will the need for more social progress and reforms cause the pendulum to swing toward the left for another four years? Perhaps something new is emerging: a general frustration with the entire system rather than one side or the other. The idea that neither the Democrats nor the Republicans hold our best interest. This has been born out in this presidential race by a candidate on each side. The first was Senator Bernie Sanders, a socialist from Vermont who caucuses with the democrats. The second, Donald Trump, a billionaire reality television star who, if elected, would be by far the least Photo by Anastasia Tishena, Sunny Isles Beach, FL politically experienced person to ever be our president. Both Bush’s response to the worst terrorist attack on these candidates ran on the platform that the whole American soil was the announcement of a global system is flawed. war on terror. As a direct result, the U.S. went to war At this point, Sanders has left the race and enwith the Taliban in Afghanistan and with Sadddorsed Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton. What am Hussein’s regime in Iraq. Bush used the term will be the next shift in U.S. politics? We must only “preemptive strike” as an excuse to start wars over wait until next month to find out. ✦ perceived threats. This concept would be the basis for what was deemed the Bush Doctrine, the justification for invading countries that had nothing to do with the September 11 terrorist attacks. Shortly after 9/11, public approval of President Bush skyrocketed, peaking at 90 percent approval. But as the wars I am but a thirteen-year-old girl waged on, public opinion dropped. He would leave I cannot change the world office at an all-time low of 22 percent, according to one day I may be able to CBS News. but for now that power is beyond me The second failure of the Bush administration So I must look to the people with power was the inability to prepare for and manage recovthe people of voting age ery after one of the deadliest natural disasters in the people who can make a difference American history, Hurricane Katrina. Many grew I must depend on them frustrated when people continued to die of thirst and But when I look out my window exhaustion several days after the storm’s landfall, at these people with the power according to U.S. News. Images of Louisiana resitheir cars are running, their legs are moving dents yelling for help from the roofs of their homes but they are all asleep prompted public outcry. Bush was slammed by Sleeping away this madness many as helpless, clueless, and racist. unfolding before their very eyes Bush’s third failure, and perhaps his biggest, was ignoring the problems at hand his very evident contribution to the worst ecobecause why not just sleep through it? nomic crisis our nation had experienced since the I am but a thirteen-year-old girl Great Depression. Early in the Bush presidency, he I cannot change the world returned to deficit spending in addition to tax cuts, and when I look to the people who can which ballooned our national debt. In addition, the they are all asleep cost of the Iraq War ultimately totaled between $1 by Tabitha Davidson, New York, NY trillion and $3 trillion, according to Fox. Meanwhile, the Bush administration had fired economic INSTAGRAM @TEEN.INK election 2016 Political Mood Swings Hypnos O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 7 sports Kick Like a Girl “C ats down 10-17 at half,” a Twitter user wrote, “but the Jags kicker is a girl, so we got this ….” “Lol,” replies Savannah, a senior. The Jaguars beat the Wildcats 24-14 an hour later. Standing outside the field house in her workout clothes, Savannah gives the impression that she’s given an interview a few times before. And in fact, she has. As she lists the myriad sports she’s played, she understandably pauses to think before she answers. “Soccer I started in second grade. I started playing church basketball in kindergarten, playing AAU [Amateur Athletic Union] in ninth. “And I’ve lettered in, I think, hold on … I’ve lettered in five varsity sports. It means you’ve played that The Herd Like horses of a herd, we move together, feet pounding the dirt in unison. Sweat rolling over skin like the tears of burning muscles. Our eyes captured by the path ahead, our minds lost within the Dream. In my dream I see a winding mountain path: twenty-six miles of dirt under beloved tennis shoes. The herd behind me, sweat burning my eyes like tears of victory. We do not stop the tears; it is a rule of the herd. The salty bitterness of a broken dream mixing with sweat to pour down our faces in a warm path. We embrace – our disappointment mixing at our feet in a pool of dirt. Our hands sit firmly on the dirt, our arms pump up and down, glimmering with sweat. The pain is not important, we think only of the Dream: of leading the herd, of leaving behind tears, of being the first feet to break the path. My feet race down the path. Around me runners vie for position, like horses in a herd. Our legs are streaked with dirt; spit lathers our cheeks like the tears of burning lungs. Our minds dream of the hard-earned solace of drying sweat. The sweet odor of crystallized, left-over sweat, the comfort of hugs warmed with tears, the sticky grit of dirt flung into hair by shoes tearing up the path, the willingness to sacrifice everything to the Dream – these are the marks of the herd. by Sierra Ross Richer, Goshen, IN 8 by Sumona Gupta, Tuscaloosa, AL Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 season. Like, I played varsity soccer my seventh grade year, varsity softball eighth grade, I played varsity basketball ninth grade, tenth, eleventh, and I’ll play varsity basketball this year.” While this may be overwhelming to most, Savannah comes from a family of athletes. Her father and grandfather were both football kickers. “She’s kind of a third-generation kicker,” Savannah’s father, Travis, says. And from the beginning, he says, Savannah showed potential. “She was a very active little kid. It was hard to get her to sit down for even a second. One of the first things we did was put her in a gymnastics class for toddlers, and she loved it. And it sort of just went from there.” At this point, playing football seems almost like an afterthought to her. Savannah’s start in the game did come much later than the other sports, and she didn’t plan to play. “She grew up playing soccer, and every once in a while I would mention, ‘You would be kind of a good kicker in football,’ but she brushed it off because she knew it was a guys’ sport,” her father says. However, opportunity came in Savannah’s sophomore year, when her high school football team needed a kicker. Her father suggested she go for it, and her mother posted a video of her practicing on Facebook. Word of the video spread, and about a week later, she was asked to try out. Savannah played for sophomore year and half of her junior year before moving to Alabama. She immediately began playing soccer again, but come football season, she began raising eyebrows. After seeing football interest sheets posted in the cafeteria, she approached the head coach, Mike. “When she said she wanted to try out, I shooed her off,” Coach Mike admits. “But then the guys showed me a video. She’s the best [kicker] we’ve had. Time will tell if [she’s the best] ever.” the country who play football, whom she can relate to. “The ones that I’ve met have been from Oklahoma. I think there’s one from Pennsylvania, one from Arizona. They’re all spread out,” she says. She doesn’t go looking for them; they usually find her. “It’s pretty cool. Because all the ones I’ve met have the same personality: really competitive. They don’t Photo by Megan Corbly, Norman, OK think of themselves as a girl going out for football. They aren’t really intimidated,” she says. It doesn’t matter to Mike that “It’s pretty cool because you meet Savannah is a girl. He says she does girls like you who understand what the same work, and in turn, he treats you’re doing, and you can talk to her the same. them about whatever you need to. “I yell at her like I do at all the Because with boys,” she laughs, “you other guys,” he says. “She carries don’t … it’s a little different, they her own load. She helps out with the don’t really care about whether your team. She runs with the team. She’s as hair has a bump in it or where the much a part of the team as anybody.” pads go. Yeah, it’s kind of confusing Savannah’s teammates agree. sometimes, but I’ve gotten used to it.” “She’s just like any other person Savannah especially enjoys the on the team,” says a senior. “There’s attention she gets after nothing wrong with havgames. “I have had girls ing a girl on the team.” come up to me and say, “She’s a girl. She’s a “Being a role ‘Hey, we think what good kicker. Out of all the guys I’ve seen kick, model for girls you’re doing is awesome,’ and it’s a good feeling,” she’s one of the best,” is pretty cool” she says. says a senior. Her father feels this Savannah doesn’t try to helps fuel her drive for hide it; she is, of course, success. “She’s not always the fastest, a girl. She makes a point to wear a not the biggest, but she has that fiery braid with a bow for every game. spirit that helps her thrive,” he says. “It’s kind of superstition,” she “It’s not all about the sport and explains. “I wore it my first game, winning games,” Savannah says. “Of because I was a little, you know, incourse, I love to win. I want to win timidated. I didn’t want to be thought every game, but football is a sport of as a boy. And now I’m an athlete. that can really impact people’s lives, I can compete here and contribute to whether they are playing or have a help them win, so I don’t really care role model in it. And to think that as much if people think I’m a boy.” I could be a role model for girls is Rather than going easier on her, pretty cool.” ✦ Savannah says that opposing teams do the opposite. “They’re running harder because they don’t want a girl to score on them. I don’t see it as a bad thing. I take it as motivation.” Some things are just different for girls, and Savannah says that she noticed this when trying to put on her uniform for the first time. Made for boys, it was uncomfortable and foreign. “I had no clue how to put it on. My dad played, so he helped me, otherwise, oh gosh, I would’ve probably come out looking crazy,” she says. To find peer support, Savannah takes advantage of what launched her football career in the first place: social media. There she finds other girls across Photo by Catherine Liang, Santa Rosa, CA COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM 2016 Winning Essay by Zhen Tu, Eagan, MN O n September 7, 1977, Presiing up the canal, while merely 8 perbetter off ratifying the treaty in the and April of 1978, the Panama Canal dent Jimmy Carter and Panacent supported the idea (Annis 123). hope that the Panamanian government treaties with the amendments were manian General Omar Torrijos In Baker’s home state of Tennessee, a could be our friend and ally” (Univerpassed in the Senate “with one vote signed two Panama Canal treaties, majority of citizens were also strongly sity of Tennessee). He further added, more than needed to enter the twoone of which eventually led America against the treaties (Culvahouse). “The country is [now] genuinely our thirds threshold” (Ornstein). President to relinquish control of the Panama Being the moderate Republican friend… so I think it was the right Carter lauded Baker for “being so Canal. After exhausting debates, the that he was, Baker devoted his time decision.” While Baker essentially courageous in a time when it was not Senate ratified the treaties the followto investigating both sides of the sacrificed his political career, he made easy” (qtd. in Beasley). Of the 20 sening year. During the months of debate dispute before making his decision. the right decision and achieved an ators who voted for the Panama Canal in the Senate, many senators and The turning point came when Baker important moral victory. treaties and were up for reelection in American citizens alike were strongly traveled to Panama with colleagues. Howard Baker embodied the true 1978, only seven returned to the Senagainst ratifying the treaty. RepubliWhile meeting soul of a courageous man, from ate the following can Senator Strom Thurmond echoed with “Panamasupporting the Voting Rights Act of year. Needless Theodore Roosevelt’s sentiment: “The nians from all 1965 to alienating his fellow conserto say, Baker’s “No politician in canal is ours, we … paid for it and walks of life,” vatives by advocating for the Panama support for the modern times has been as treaties cost him we should keep it” (qtd. in “Moments Baker saw the Canal treaties (Rudin). Columnist in”)*. Given the staunch resistance chaos that could Albert Hunt said it best: “Perhaps no qualified to be president the opportunity from the majority of Republicans, it erupt in Panama politician in modern times has been to obtain his parbut never made it” is difficult to imagine that Republiif the treaties as qualified to be president but never ty’s nomination can Senate Minority Leader Howard were rejected. made it than Howard Henry Baker” for president in Baker tirelessly led the ratification Furthermore, (Hunt). Howard Baker’s act of polit1980 (Hunt). process because he believed in biparAmerican commanders warned that ical courage is still recognized and In the years after the U.S. gave tisanship to advance the best interest rejection might very well lead to honored today, serving as testament control of the canal back to Panama, of Panama and the United States. His “further [anti-American] sentiment to his legacy that will unequivocally Baker believed that the “canal is actions were seen as political suicide, and propel sabotage against the canal” influence and motivate many people doing well, doing better than it ever especially since he harbored hopes to (Annis 130). for generations to come. ✦ did when we had it” (qtd. in Beasley). gain the Republican nomination for After returning to the White House In an interview at the University of * For the complete essay, including President in 1980 (“Moments in”). on January 16, 1978, Baker notified Tennessee in 2005, Baker reflected the bibliography, visit the Profile Yet, similar to the senators in Profiles Carter that he would support the treaupon his actions in the 1970s, saying in Courage Essay Contest at in Courage, Baker’s action of political ties if some amendments were made. that “the United States would be jfklibrary.org. courage kept “alive the spirit of Before making his final decision, individualism and dissent which gave Baker talked with his staff, seeking birth to this nation” (Kennedy 17). to predict the implications his stance One may wonder what caused a would have on his presidential hopes Republican Senator from Tennessee for 1980. He was informed that the to jeopardize his political career Republicans would never nominate by espousing the ratification of the him. Baker replied, “So be it” (qtd. Panama treaties. Baker, a moderate in Gerstenzang). conservative known for his willingUnsurprisingly, Baker’s decision ness to make compromises, acquired was met with a torrent of criticism the powerful art of across the country. Would you compromise from his He received 64,000 go against the crowd father-in-law, Senator letters in two months, While Baker Everett M. Dirksen, 98 percent of which to do what is right? who gave Democratic contained messages sacrificed his Presidents Kennedy from those opposing career, he made and Johnson invaluthe treaties. Twelve able support and Republicans the right decision House advice during the requested that Baker years he was in office abdicate his leader(Kenworthy). One of ship, writing, “You Baker’s family members likened him have no right, to use that office as to someone who was comfortable a means of advancing the treaties while floating down the middle of the against the wishes of our party and Tennessee River (Hunt). Indeed, it the American people” (qtd. in Annis John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage Essay Contest took some time for Baker to deter131). The backlash Baker received Celebrate the JFK Centennial: A Legacy of Courage and Service mine his firm position amid the bitreflects Kennedy’s statement that First-place winner receives the special Centennial prize of $20,000. terly divided political scene regarding “the courage required of the Senator the Panama Canal. [to defy] the angry power of the very Deadline for submission is January 4, 2017. Although he had agreed to considconstituents who control his future” er President Carter’s plans in 1977, is perhaps the greatest political test For contest information and the Centennial-Year essay topic, Baker knew that his decision might of all (Kennedy 222). visit www.JFKlibrary.org hinder his reelection prospects (Annis In February 1978, vociferous 123). Consequently, he told Carter debate over the ratification of the that he needed to inform Americans Panama treaties finally began on of the political situation concerning the Senate floor (Annis 131). Baker the canal before the Senate hastened worked closely with Democratic With support from to make a decision. An August poll in Senator Robert Byrd from West 1977 indicated that 78 percent of the Virginia to produce the Byrd-Baker American population objected to givleadership amendment. In March FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @TEEN.INK O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 profiles in courage Howard Baker: The Great Compromiser • Teen Ink 9 food New Year’s Dinner T bones are scooped out of the pot and placed on the he water goes third, from the silver spigot cutting board, where my dad picks off the meat, still above the stove, after the chicken stock and steaming, and plops it back into the broth. the turkey from Rosh Hashanah dinner the I kneel on a chair and pour my diced work into night before. My dad grips the heavy pot in both the pot, everything congregating with a plop. A hands, bearing the weight as my sister stands on timer should be set, someone once said, so we know a chair, controlling the flow. Eventually, he sets it when to add the matzo balls. Instead, the youngest down on the burner with a gasp and a soft clang, and is assigned the task of watching the boiling pot and the water splashes a bit. My sister hops off the chair calling for someone to poke a potato or carrot every and drags it to the table, backwards with two legs so often to test doneness. off the floor, while my dad sparks the fire with a dial Finally, it’s time for the matzo balls. We take turns and puts it on the highest setting. There is no time ladling the tan clouds into the broth, watching the to watch the flames wet the pot – blue and orange soup swallow them before they float waves like goldfish in a pond – to the top – proof of fluffy success. because there is too much to do, too Now, the kitchen officially smells many days of repenting for this to be relegated to the one before Yom The kitchen smells like autumn, like the High Holidays, like my dad’s house. We wait at the Kippur. like autumn, like scratched kitchen table Next, the peeling. Carrots, potacelery stuck to our toes, parsnips, turnips, and celery – the High Holidays with socks and carrots smoking grandmother be damned. My sister in our mouths, anxious to cuts her finger, and a bandage is get our own small bowl applied before any blood drops onto of Home. The rest will be poured into the raw vegetables. She is referred to matzo ball assorted containers with faded names duty, mixing the egg and spices into the dry matzo written on the mismatched tops, to be and molding it into balls with her hands, which will frozen for nine days. After the ninth day be pink from cold before long, crusted with salt and – a day of promises and books of death egg and oil. They are laid onto a wax sheet with and uncomfortable flats and dresses and care, far enough away from the stove to stay chilled. synagogue and fasting, we will sit down As my dad peels, I slice and quarter. The potaand chant the HaMotzi, the Kiddush, toes and turnips are cut into brick-like squares, the and whatever that prayer is that ends celery into crescents, everything else into circles. A with “shel yom hakippurim.” We will eat carrot “cigar” hangs out of the corner of my mouth. the challah and drink the Manischewitz “Ehhh,” I say, crunching loudly. “What’s up, Doc?” (or grape juice) and serve ourselves My sister giggles and my dad starts quoting “Blazsalad and brisket and kugel. We will say ing Saddles,” “My Cousin Vinny,” and “The Princess the HaMotzi once again because Stuart Bride.” After the vegetables are chopped, the turkey Golden Rice W hat is a grain of rice to you? What is its worth? In the afternoons, supper may be a little lonely. My brothers will be doing their own thing – homework or gaming. My grandparents are older and kind; they no longer have big appetites and believe the food should go to the growing children. I sit at the table with sun spilling orange through the shutters. It’s quiet and surreal. Gentle snores and excited conversations reverberate through the air. Sometimes I become tired of the routine and question why everything is as it is as I go through my meal. When I’ve had my fill, I want to throw away the rest, but I stop when stories resurface in my mind. I stop because I hear my mother’s lectures. She taught me that those precious white grains are a blessing from the blue sky, the earth, and the hard labor of farmers on the rice paddies hunched over the fields. Those stories are eloquently retold by my tired mother on nights when I 10 by Alexandra Deutsch, Verona, NJ Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 was in the bathroom, and we will all wait for our bowls to be summoned by my dad into the kitchen, where he will ladle broth and two matzo balls into each (two and a half for the kids and his motherin-law). As soon as we get our bowl, we rush to the dining room and sit down and eat half of the soup before he is even finished serving. We will eat the soup for four days after that, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, until all the matzo balls are gone and there is one lonely container left in the fridge and three matzo balls in the freezer that we will watch forlornly as they are heated and brought to Russ down the block, who will kiss cheeks and give out candy that was made before 1985 and smells like starch and his dog, who is even more blind and deaf than Russ. The first mitzvot of the New Year. ✦ Photo by Aria Lowe, Vancouver, BC, Canada by Cindy Ly, Austin, TX My grandmother’s philosophy was feel like a child again or I can’t sleep. to embrace your meals because you Soft sheets gather moonlight like never knew when the next would the leaves drink morning dew. She come. Grandma was and still is not tells me quietly, stroking my hair, of good with money. She spends it the intricate magic of her birthplace, easily and still smiles even if she is Vietnam. broke. Back then, she couldn’t save, The doors of each house were open especially with three kids begging for and welcoming. People gathered something to fill their bellies. They wood to light their ovens. The smell were young, but they of fresh seafood and noticed that their mother buttery calf meat grillwas only eating their ing wafted in the air. I taste love, leftovers. She would say, Children sold lottery tickets for a living and magic, and home “Don’t worry about me. already eaten, but vendors sold foods – in every grain I’ve don’t throw that away. everything from fish It’s still good!” sauce to fruit to sweet My mother said she desserts. liked living like that better than when My mother, as a child, was fatherher dad came back. My grandpa was less until she was seven, when my a sensible man who saved the small grandpa returned from the war. My income they made from working grandmother raised my mom, my odd jobs. My mother said they had aunt, and my uncle on her own. My something to gobble down, but it was mother recalled days when they ate not appealing to their mouths. Rice until their stomachs were packed full was precious, and she hated potatoes. with delicious “expensive” foods, and They ate wild potatoes that grew in others when hunger was grasping her their yard, mixed with enormous so tight it hurt. COMMENT amounts of rice. Now, my mother and father work diligently to provide for our family. My mom’s hands develop red rashes that don’t heal well. My dad’s forehead looks like a crumpled paper full of crinkles. I wish I could erase their dark circles and worries, but each step I take into the future is another burden on their backs. As my siblings and I grow, we need more and more. So when the sun has given a kiss to its parent, the sky, and retired for the night, and its siblings light up the arching heavens, I know I’ll be able to see my own parents. They offer smiles and beautiful, ringing laughter. Their weary voices ask one another to get utensils or to come to the table for dinner. Golden steaming rice is served along with creamy fish and a forest-green soup. I taste tears, love, magic, and home in every grain of rice that not only fills my tummy but my heart. Every day I eat with a happiness that can only be contained in each fleeting moment. ✦ ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM by Mia Xing, Toronto, ON, Canada W gent mixed together. And shopping carts hen I was a newcomer to Canada, the only that didn’t work well. place I would need to open the MandaI guess you could say supermarkets rin-English dictionary on my phone was are palaces of the mundane. But here the supermarket. Margarine. Provolone cheese. in Canada, living a new mélange life of Whipping cream. Shoehorn. I would happily pick up North American culture and the Chinese these words from my screen, tuck my phone back culture of my family, I started exploring into my pocket like a Mission Impossible spy and supermarkets and found many interesting call out to my parents with surprise when I spotted things in the mundanity. the item. If words, breath, I find the vocabulary of supermarsneezes, and scents were kets fascinating. Not just the names solid things that took of the items on the shelves, but I was standing up space, Costco would also the people, the way different in the Palace of be too packed to even supermarkets unfold themselves – Loblaws, Costco, Metro, T&T Mega Consumerism enter. Recently we went to Costco – my first time (a magical place that offers more to this wholesale paradise. Asian products than supermarkets Since it was Sunday, it was in China). Back in China I wasn’t keen on grocery shopping. crazily hard to navigate in any direction. All our fellow shoppers were trying to When I was little, I would go with my parents to a harness a cart just like us. supermarket called Auchan from time to time, but When I walked in, I naively suggested my mom only for the benefits thereof – Oreos, popsicles, not use one of the gigantic trolleys. “We’ll only need fruit jello, beef jerky, and the joy of having my dad a basket,” I claimed. After 30 seconds of searchurge me to “take more, take more.” Other than that, ing, we realized that there were no baskets, and I supermarkets to me meant free air conditioning and stood behind the huge mountain of discounted Ritz the smells of seafood, vegetables, and laundry deter- The Avocado Man A by Lindsey Goldin, Voorhees, NJ across from me. I wondered absently what he t 8 a.m. every Saturday and Sunday planned to do with them. Then he began to summer morning before my senior peel the avocados and eat them with a spoon. year of high school, I dealt with I stared at him for 10 minutes, paralyzed, as I hungry people. These mean and impatient watched him consume both avocados. folks were the worst. They came stumbling After he finished, he calmly got up, into the restaurant I worked at, demanding oblivious to my shock. It was then that I felt coffee with squinty eyes and scowling faces. inspired. This random man After gorging on greasy reminded me that humanity breakfast food and the I too had become a is kind of awesome and that occasional post-hangover mimosa, they waddled out grumpy, hungry person I should take time to appreciate my fellow humans. rubbing their bellies with People can do anything contentment, opening up a we set our mind to, and nothing is impossitable for another group of rude and impatient ble. Dos Avocados man inspired me to look hungry people. As much as I enjoyed my job beyond the surface and cut people some slack. at Sabrina’s Cafe, I usually left exhausted, Dos Avocados man dared me to see the value grumpy, and smelling oddly of ketchup and and capability in myself. But most importantpancake syrup. ly, Dos Avocados man inspired me to think To save money, I would often eat at Saoutside the box, which in turn, inspired me to brina’s after my shift, but one rainy Sunday tell his tale. ✦ afternoon, I decided to treat myself to some vegan grub at Whole Foods. Unfortunately, the store was packed with families stocking up for the week. Everyone sported furrowed brows as they examined the overpriced food. I realized that I had flung myself into another situation with grumpy, hungry people, which provoked me to scream mentally. I too had become a grumpy, hungry person. After 30 minutes of waiting to pay, I finally sat down with my wrap in the store’s eating area. Between bites, I spotted a peculiar-looking man with two whole avocados Photo by Katie Clancy, Skokie, IL FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @TEEN.INK food The Vocabulary of Supermarkets Photo by Chloe Linder, Madison, NJ breadsticks, jumbo Rice Krispies Squares, party-size bags of M&Ms, and Fruit-O-Long while my mom scurried to get a cart. That was when I finally became aware that I was standing in the Palace of Mega Consumerism. Costco is the place you see middle-aged women in old-fashioned jumpsuits venturing through the aisles like heroines faster than anyone else. Costco is a place where you may see two people yelling and swearing at each other just because one was walking “too slowly,” causing the other to bump him/her with a cart. Costco is a place where you marvel at the ridiculous size of everything while pretending you are a veteran shopper. It is interesting how in the most mundane of places, philosophical questions can strike you like a giant cereal box falling off a shelf. On Facebook I came across this wonderful college application essay that got a girl into multiple Ivy League schools. She wrote about how Costco gave birth to her ponderings on life and her sense of exploration. I kept ruminating when I was in Costco: If there exists a 33-ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? Since I’m not sure if I have free will, I am not going to further explore that question. Nor do I want to start ranting or praising modern consumerism, or put a label on Costco, like it does its items. An economist may condemn the “Costco effect” (when you walk in planning to just grab some Kleenex but end up spending a hundred dollars). A poet may whine about how Costco makes everything overflow and thus takes away the essence of life. But for me, Costco isn’t good or bad, but it somehow makes one feel very North American. And on top of that, for me there is that particular joy of strolling around and learning the names of the items. Then there is the ultimate perk of Costco: that moment you’re almost walled in by shelves of huge boxes, when you watch your fellow shoppers dig through pools of infant-size clothing, and you can’t help but imagine the story behind this inventory of life. Who invented Nutella? What was the magical point in history when people started needing gigantic boxes of palmiers? What about gargantuan tubs of sour cream? Who was the first person to buy jumbo-size Rice Krispies Squares, sit down every morning at the breakfast table, and feel good about himself/herself for having so much that it doesn’t seem to run out? Oh, Costco, you are so much more complicated than the “all beef” excellence of your cheap hot dogs. ✦ O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 11 food The Picky Eater I t looks like vomit. I push the beige mass covered in a sappy maroon sauce around my plate with a fork. Tentatively, I begin to cut into it, cringing as my forks sinks into the center, hitting slimy black specks. As the pungent scent – a mix of onions and peanuts – seeps out, I try to hold back a gag. Vegan “meat” – this is exactly why I don’t eat dinner at friends’ houses. Taking a deep breath, I lift a piece to my mouth and chew, my eyes beginning to water. Turns out the slimy black flecks are pepper. I hate pepper. I reach for my water, and, closing my eyes, quickly down the entire glass. Looking up, I realize my friend’s whole family is looking at me. “What do you think?” Her mother flashes a pearly smile accented with bits of vegan meat. “Delicious! I just wish I hadn’t eaten such a big lunch!” I reply, wondering if they can hear my stomach rumbling. I scoop up another beige pebble from my plate, but I can still feel the remnants of the fire I just put out in my mouth. Setting down the fork, I tune in to the conversation. Our lives revolve around food like Earth revolves around the Sun. In this nation dominated by all things edible, I’m somewhat of a culinary novelty: a picky eater above the age of 10. My tongue must have been built as some Godly joke; the blueprints for a fence rather than a welcome mat. It’s a long row of fickle taste buds that revolt at by Molly Laninberg, Jacksonville, FL Don’t like something? “Picky eater.” the mere sight of unfamiliar foods. Choosing something from the kids Fruit and chocolate seem to be the menu? “Picky eater.” only items welcome to pass through. Accepting this label was so much Every day is a war. I lay siege with easier than explaining that certain shrimp that seems to be coated in foods turned my stomach inside out an entire ocean’s worth of salt and and made my eyes water. At least the sprouts that look like they belong in fence in my mouth was a whitewashed my backyard as my tongue and entire picket one, a welcomed barrier. I body fight back. Three times a day didn’t have to worry about not liking a the challenge is getting food into my dish or attending some stuffy function stomach before my tongue gets a I didn’t want to. “Picky eater,” the chance to taste it. My only weapons label that sat in my back pocket, was are long sips of water and dozens of an excuse I gladly used. ketchup packets to combat a hair-trigThen I would rememger gag reflex and pure ber its indestructibility disgust. Birthday parties, My tongue is a – Superman without kryptonite. I was stuck sporting events, fence rather than in the cramped backrewards, and even funerals – everything a welcome mat yard. It was when I heard about sushi dates is tied to eating. Food and friends going out is the socially acceptfor coffee without me that I would able addiction that I can’t fall into. feel something worse in my stomach. My tongue becomes a barbed-wire Friends would say that I didn’t like fence that I’m afraid to climb because that type of food anyway, but I still I don’t want to bloody my hands. I sit felt a sort of craving deep inside. I felt at a table with an empty plate listenmy tongue tripling in size, filling my ing to raving compliments on the ribs mouth and my lungs. The fence was with the thick, orange sauce and the getting closer and closer. I couldn’t scent of rotten citrus. I bite my lip as breathe. I seemed too full of “I’ll eat I read my friends’ irritated texts after before I go,” “No, thank you, I’m not I begged them to go anywhere but the hungry,” and “I’ll get something later.” seafood place. I shrugged when faced All to the soundtrack of my rumbling with the look of shock from my pre-K stomach. teacher when I announced I wouldn’t I would pore over any informaeat the graham crackers because they tion on pickiness I could find. I’d try were too sweet. mental tricks, pretending I liked a food “Picky eater.” A label quickly acor simply stuffing it down quickly, cepted by me – embraced by me. Italy vs. USA but nothing worked. I wondered what endorphin I was missing as everyone else drooled over bacon. I wondered what I was losing as I peered through the cracks in my fence at the birthday party next door. Therapists will place the blame on bad parenting. They’ll analyze all of the things my parents did wrong. They’ll say I wasn’t fed the foods early enough or often enough. They won’t take note of my adventurous siblings. Doctors will say sensory issues and genetics. The fact that I don’t have sensory issues will be skipped over. Adventurous eaters will say I’m just a product of a nation gone soft. Just another child who wasn’t forced to clear her plate. Don’t mention the times I forced myself to. A lot of people will call it a phase, saying that one day I’ll just wake up and eat everything. I like to accept all of those answers because they don’t place the blame on me. They say that I didn’t build this fence in my mouth. I wasn’t the one to nail the boards and paint the sides – something I want so desperately to believe. Guilt fills me as I dump the leftover food on my plate into the trashcan. The aftertaste of … whatever that was remains in my mouth. I know I could never have made myself eat it. My friend comes up behind me and whispers, “We have some pizza in the fridge. I’ll heat it up for you after they finish the dishes.” I know that my cheeks are red, but I smile and nod gratefully. I am hungry. ✦ by Cam Lind, Evanston, IL S In Italy, even in the smallest, most ince my return from Rome and humble restaurants offer many pasta Umbria, in central Italy, I’ve varieties to choose from, all cooked limited my pasta to just pad thai, to perfection. The portions fill you up, and haven’t eaten a single piece of but not to the point of bursting. You pizza. This is not a health kick. Now are expected to clear your plate: not that I’ve tried authentic Italian fare – doing so indicates that you didn’t like in all its homemade glory – I can’t go the dish. There are no takeback to the Americanhome boxes. ized versions. Even the Pizza, too, has been fancy Italian restaurants I can’t go completely transformed in in my hometown can’t its translation to American draw me in. back to the culture. U.S. customers Here in America, the standard is dry, boxed Americanized have all the power when ordering pizza, dictating pasta, so we never learn dishes toppings, cheeses, and size. to appreciate good, (Deep dish pizza is an enhomemade pasta, hand tirely American construct.) cut and left to dry hanging over the backs of chairs. In In restaurants in Italy, pizzas are designed by the chef and handmade with an American restaurant, al dente pasta care. Even in the most fast food-like – soft on the outside and not quite restaurants in Italy, pizza is cooked fully cooked on the inside – is rarely in a wood-fire oven; it’s common achieved. A typical American pasta knowledge that this makes the crispiplate is overpiled with overcooked est, most delicious crust. I remember spaghetti or ravioli and smothered in looking for the slice lines on my pizza red sauce or pesto. 12 Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 Photo by Ryan Gibson, The Woodlands, TX in Italy, and realizing I was meant to use the fork and knife by my plate to cut it myself. Though restaurants in the States make an effort to mimic true Italian COMMENT fare, they don’t come close to matching the authentic quality and style. Italy remains the best food experience I’ve ever had. ✦ ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM by Indre Zalepuga, Bradenton, FL I my grandma and I were cooking, and the gripped the handle of the oven and language we spoke, connected me to my braced myself for the worst: a black, Lithuanian heritage. burnt, rock-hard kugelis inside. SurI reached for the onions and peeled off prise, surprise. For the fourth time since their flaky skins. As I sliced the first one, summer, I had failed to re-create my my eyes started to sting. My vision begrandmother’s specialty. Kugelis, a gratcame blurry, and my nose started to run. ed potato pie, is a traditional Lithuanian Finally submitting to the fiery sensation, recipe that my grandma always prepares I reached for a napkin to wipe the tears during my stays with her. I vividly and blow my nose. I sat on a stool and remember the day she agreed to teach me watched my grandma expertly control how to cook this dish. the knife. As she chopped she didn’t Making this “welcome back” dish wince once. Perhaps when I am her age I is my grandmother’s way of showing will have steel-strong eyes her love and joy for my too. long-awaited visits to my grandma sauLithuania. Eager to learn The traditional téedWhile the onions, I asked, how to cook kugelis as well as she does, I began food connected “How did you become an expert in cooking kugeto empty the bags from me to my heritage lis?” our trip to the market: She replied that during small potatoes, onions, the Soviet occupation of and fresh eggs. Since I Lithuania, there was little variety in the was clueless in the kitchen, I followed food they had access to. Potatoes were the master chef. a staple. “My mom would cook many My grandma started to peel a potato potato meals. Kugelis was my favorite,” with the non-blade side of a knife. When she said. I tried to imitate her, the potato slipped I asked what life was like when she out of my hand. After many unsuccessful was 17, like me. attempts, I managed to peel two, while “It was the end of World War II, and my grandma had downsized the hill of the Soviets had attacked again,” she potatoes to half. began. “I frequently hid under bridges A grin spread across my grandma’s to avoid getting killed or deported to face. I couldn’t tell whether she was Siberia.” laughing at how inept I was or just She sighed, recounting the time she, enjoying our bonding time. Nevertheless, as an adult, turned on the TV only to see she encouraged me: “Bandyk. Jau gerithe station lose connection. “Apparentau.” (Keep trying. You’re doing better ly, that night, on January 13, 1991, the already). Soviets tried to reoccupy Lithuania. They We then switched to grating the attacked the TV tower and killed 14 potatoes. As we prepared the dish, I unarmed civilians.” thought about how the traditional food Harlem’s Kitchen food An Aroma of Reminiscence Photo by Alicia DeMott, Roanoke, VA I finally understood that her stories were not just her sharing past experiences of struggle and success, but a way for me to connect with an important part of our history. Since Lithuanian culture was suppressed during my grandmother’s childhood, I feel grateful to be able to freely celebrate my heritage and proud for what my grandma overcame. I opened the refrigerator and took out the raw milk, which I knew had a stronger taste than the pasteurized milk I drank at home in Florida. My grandma boiled the milk while I grabbed the frozen bacon and cut it up. I scraped the bacon bits into the onion pan and poured in more oil. Slowly they became crisp and turned a deep burgundy. When hot oil landed on my hand, I yelped in pain. I reminded myself that my grandma would have ignored the pain, so I mustered up the courage to take the spatula and continue. After combining the boiling milk, grated potatoes, eggs, bacon, and onions, I poured the mixture into a glass dish and put it into the preheated oven. While it baked, we prepared the sauce with fried bacon, sautéed onions, and sour cream. When we opened the oven, to our delight, the scrumptious aroma of kugelis filled the kitchen. My grandma carefully cut a corner piece for me and a middle one for her. I poured sauce on top and garnished with parsley. As I took a bite, the silky sauce meshed perfectly with the bits of bacon. My grandma and I nodded at each other in approval. I thought about how much effort had gone into making this dish, how much patience my grandma had acquired in her 84 years of practice perfecting kugelis. I admired her greatly; I knew that I wanted to grow up to be a persevering woman like her. As my mom called my name I snapped back to reality. I had burned the kugelis. I scraped the pie into the trash and resolved to try again. I took a bag of potatoes from the pantry and began to peel, not with a peeler, but the way my grandma had taught me. She was the one who encouraged me to persevere through life’s challenges, just like she and the generations of Lithuanians who came before her had. ✦ by Ashley Huynh, Huntington Beach, CA H and the sliding of a red tray on the counter. The arlem’s Kitchen was a fast food stand in a appearance of food would quiet all our demands. At food court located in the middle of a grocery my father’s cue, takeout boxes would be opened and store. It was a hole-in-the-wall shop, kind of chopsticks would fly, each held in tight examination. run down, with a greasiness that promised cheap food They would glance over the soaked, crunchy noodles and good taste. It had metal chairs that groaned when and steamed ong-choy, and graze against the fried rice you moved them, and a blinking sign that flickered in peppered with onions, peas, and bits of beef. Chewing a mixture of bouncing English and Chinese every time renowned Chinese donuts, savory wonton you blinked. soup, and walnut shrimp, we’d forget about My father always took us to Harbeing tired and lonely, and enjoy the little lem’s Kitchen when he came home late The holetime that we had together. This simple meal from work and was too tired to cook. in-the-wall would erase all the stresses of the day. He’d drive us to the stand, sit us in a ratty booth, and speak to the woman at restaurant that A 100-yen store selling cooking utensils and household items has replaced the the counter in rapid Cantonese. She’d I loved arcade my brother and I used to fight over. respond even quicker with a ripping of The chairs that we used to play on and drag paper and a tack on the wall. around are now solidly bolted to the floor. As we waited, my brother and I The walls are newer, the TV screens are bigger, and would jealously watch kids playing in the arcade next overall, the food court is brighter. But after all these door. We’d discuss games we wanted to play, prizes years, the hole-in-the-wall restaurant that I loved and we wanted to win, and devise secret plans to smughated still remains. Harlem’s Kitchen is the same as it gle coins in, each fighting the other for my father’s ever was, with the same owner and the same muttering attention. While we fought, my father would ignore our cries for money and games and stare at the foreign lady at the counter. It looks almost archaic compared dramas blaring on the hanging TVs. to the bustling shops that have sprung up around it, yet it’s still the most popular place in the square. Small, The torture of waiting ended with a woman’s yell FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @TEEN.INK Photo by Celena Dong, Gainesville, FL crowded, and dingy, it draws lines of customers that snake around the food court. I like to think of it as a stubborn relic of my childhood that refuses to be swallowed up and forgotten by time. Even the taste of the food is the same. And when I leave the tattered booth and empty plates of my childhood foods, I am stuffed, just like always, with happy memories and simple, savory satisfaction. ✦ O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 13 food Peanut Butter and Jelly by Monique Sammut, Steubenville, OH O Our meal was silent, except for his sporadic ne summer, I met up with Joseph, one of my comments about how delicious the jelly tasted and out-of-town college friends. We decided it how nice the weather was. I was far too focused on would be nice to update each other on our trying to keep the jelly inside the sandwich to speak. summer vacations, the semester ahead, and life in Despite my efforts, large, gooey blobs oozed out and general before school started and chaos set in. stained the table purple. It was a Tuesday evening, and we sat outside in After we finished, Joseph began absentmindedthe cool breeze. The campus bells had just finished ly playing with the plastic spoon. He twirled it in ringing out 5 o’clock, but neither of us had menhis fingers and stuck it in his mouth, tioned dinner. cleaning off the jelly. Then the spoon We had been talking for about half dipped back into the peanut butter, an hour when Joseph asked, “Are you “Are you hungry? was licked clean, and re-dipped in the jelly. hungry? Do you mind if I eat?” I had This procedure was repeated several not even finished replying when he Do you mind more times. I could only watch as the plunked down his duffel bag on the if I eat?” white spoon was covered in brown, purwooden table we were sitting around. ple, and purple once again. He casually Silently, he proceeded to take out a spoke of school and going abroad as he loaf of bread, a plastic spoon, a jar of licked and re-licked the spoon. peanut butter, and grape jelly. With practiced ease, he twisted open the bread Then, as if concluding some unique ritual, he suddenly twisted the lids onto the jars, closed the bag and pulled out a slice. He liberally smeared bread bag, and returned everything to his duffel on the peanut butter, then topped it with generous bag … along with the plastic spoon. Once he had blobs of jelly. The bread was then folded in half and removed all traces of our meager meal with the skill placed on the table in front of me while he made and speed of a magician, he closed his eyes, leaned another sandwich for himself. Not a word was said back, and sighed. as I watched his hands fly from bag to jar to bread to We sat at the table, breathing in the evening air. In table. Yet, despite his speed, a certain delicacy and the comfortable silence, I began to replay the image care went into the preparation. Durian: Dangerous and Beautiful W hen my aunt visited us in Guangzhou, China, a few years ago, it was durian season. Walking on the streets, the scent embraced us. Like a witch who tempts her victims into a trap, durian seduced us to the market stalls. As my parents and I stood in front of a pile of durians, enjoying the heavenly smell, I heard my aunt’s voice. “What are these stinky things? Can we get away from here?” When we coaxed her into trying one, her dramatic expressions were amusing; they turned from extreme disgust, to surprise, and then pleasure. “Can we have another?” she asked the next day. We ate durians every day for a week. When my aunt was preparing to leave, I suggested she take some with her. At the time, I didn’t know that durian was on the list of items forbidden on airplanes, along with knives, bombs, and explosive chemicals. We tried to conceal the smell of the fruit every way we could think of, but nothing worked. In embarrassment, we watched as security guards unwrapped two layers of newspaper, three layers of cling wrap, and opened a Tupperware container to reveal the durian my aunt had stowed in her carry-on, which they threw into the trash. Famous for its unmistakable smell (which some enjoy and others find repulsive), durian is virtually unknown to Europeans but zealously pursued by certain Asian populations. This mysterious fruit is both dangerous and beautiful, but it is losing its unique beauty due to efforts to 14 Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 of the spoon in my mind. I could clearly see it dancing in Joseph’s fingers. I saw it dip into the peanut butter and glide to his mouth. I saw it dip into the jelly and into his mouth again. Dip, glide, repeat. “What are you thinking about?” Joseph asked, breaking the silence. I hesitated. His dark eyes penetrated mine, and I wanted to tell the truth. The only problem was I had no idea how to explain that for the past two minutes my mind had been replaying what the spoon had just been through. More than that, I was wondering how many times that spoon had been through those antics before. How many times had it dipped and glided before it met my piece of bread? How many times had it been cleansed somewhere besides his mouth? How could I explain all this without sounding ridiculous? I didn’t want to lie, but at that moment, lying seemed better than the embarrassment that would have accompanied the truth. “Nothing,” I replied. Sometimes, I regret lying to Joseph that day. I wish I had quelled my fear and answered truthfully. Since I did lie, I am forever doomed to wonder how skilled that spoon was at dipping and diving in and out of jars and Joseph’s mouth – and onto the sandwiches he shared with his friends. ✦ by Zhiying Ren, Guangzhou, China status as “conquerers.” “civilize” it. Though durian may have its dangers, it The dangers of durian can hardly be is also beautiful because of its contribuignored. Durian trees can grow very tall, tions to health. According to an article by so a foot-long mature durian fruit hanging Ben Tesiorna, it contains a lot of sugar, at the top of a tree is like a bomb that can vitamin C, potassium, tryptophan, and raw explode at any time. Additionally, it is a fats. In Southeast Asian regions such as common belief that consuming durian with Malaysia, the leaves and roots were used alcohol or coffee will cause your blood to reduce fever. pressure to rise and result in a generally The most charming aspect of durian unwell feeling. “A Japanese study found is its association with Southeast Asian that the high sulfur content, thought parculture. The seasonality of durian means tially responsible for the durian’s strong it is only available for a few months a smell, interferes with aldehyde dehydroyear. In Malaya, aboriginal families would genase – the body’s process of processing “leave their houses, reach the toxins when drinking alcodurian trees in the forest, clear hol,” according to the article the ground in order to find “Interesting Facts About Southeast Asia’s King of the “What are these more easily the food … for six or two months, they eat Fruits.” In addition, modstinky things?” weeks nothing but durians,” writes eration is important: eating Andrea Montanari in “The too much durian can cause Stinky King: A Social and dehydration. A preferred way Cultural History of the Durian.” to mitigate the risks of this “king of the However, the wild beauty of durian was fruit” is to consume “queen of the fruit” – sacrificed when it was introduced to the garcinia – at the same time. rest of the world. Since durian needed to Durian has also carried dangerous culbe eaten as soon as possible and was hard tural connotations. When the Dutch took to transport, the international market for over Malacca, Malaysia, in 1641, they the fruit was not possible until recently. adapted quickly to the taste of the ethnic Extensive breeding propagated select food, including durian. However, adapting specimens, and scientists have manipulatto the food of the natives implied that it ed the ripening to extend the shelf-life and would also be easily to assimilate into the limit the undesirable smell. These changes “uncivilized” societies. Therefore, Eurohave facilitated the transition of the durian peans felt the need to reject durian, as it market from rural to urban areas. Conrepresented the native tribes. Surprisingly, sumers can now eat durians without shells the colonial elites loved the taste but had or overpowering odor. But these changes to eat the fruit in secret to preserve their COMMENT destroy its wildness and mysterious beauty. I’ve always considered the process of opening the thorny skin of a durian to be a welcome challenge. We forget that the beauty of the durian cannot exist without the danger. How can durian be considered “the king of food” when its crown of thorns is removed and its majestic odor is concealed? The once-powerful king is now more like an ordinary commoner who does not stand out in a crowd. However, for me, durian will always be the king of fruits. ✦ ON ANY ARTICLE AT Art by Michelle Ma, Farmington, CT TEENINK.COM S by Natasha Kossovsky, Pittsburgh, PA ince I joined the gaming community – sexual remarks, insults based on gender, and three years ago, I’ve learned that it isn’t the pinnacle of rude comments: “How about I just about playing FPS games and bathandle this and you make me a sandwich?” tling OP dragons. In the gaming community, I Male gamers aren’t the only ones to blame have been subjected to blatant sexism the likes here; the gaming industry plays a role by proof which I have never encountered in my daily ducing misogynistic games. The objectification life. I wasn’t prepared for the personal attacks, and sexualization of women can be seen many solely based on the fact that I am a female. video games. A game I play a lot, “League of I had no idea that I would be rejected by a Legends,” depicts highly sexualized female community that never saw me as an individual characters with very little clothing or armor, who wanted to play video games, but instead even though the game revolves around fightdecided I was there to impress guys. I learned ing. Many games still feature the overused and that female gamers are treated like Luigi by the outdated “damsel in distress” trope. Princess gaming community – always second to Mario. Peach is kidnapped in 13 of the 14 Super MaLuigi goes unmentioned, despite making up rio games, while Princess Zelda, who appears half of one of the most famous character duos in 14 of the Legend of Zelda games, must be in video game history, due to his outdated label saved by Link in 12 of them. as “player two.” The lead characters in video games tend to Girls, it’s time for us to take action; it’s time be male, with their female companions being for us to challenge our label as “player two” to either sexualized, cast as the damsel in distress, our male counterparts and show that we are an or both. So what’s the argument supporting important market for video game producers; marginalization, sexualization, and objectifiwe are valuable teammates and vital voices. cation of women in games? A popular one is We need to remind the gaming community that men are the ones who play video games, how much of it we represent! Whether it’s the so games are created for them. However, a objectification and sexualization of female recent survey from Entertainment Software characters or the cruel treatment of “gamer Association Statistics shows that 45 percent of girls,” it’s clear that equality in gamers are female. While it’s an the gaming community is an issue that the gaming community achievement yet to be unlocked. doesn’t realize its own demoEquality in For female gamers, the graphic and therefore assumes it gaming is an gaming community sets many is okay to objectify women, the requirements that must be met achievement yet sexist portrayals of women lead to in order to be considered a part a much more dangerous problem. to be unlocked According to Professor of Gender of the community; the only requirement for male gamers is Studies and Philosophy Sandra to enjoy video games. FeLee Bartky, sexist portrayals male gamers have to prove their knowledge. of women in video games exist “because Whatever game they play, they must know the revealing images of their body parts lure the names of all the weapons and characters, and audience … When a woman’s body or body be familiar with the lore. parts are singled out and separated from her as If it is known that a gamer is female, male a person, she is viewed primarily as a physical gamers question her about every detail of the object of male sexual desire.” game – through the game chat, Tumblr, or Sexualization and objectification of feanother platform. If she is unable to pass these male characters can have a dangerous effect ridiculous, arbitrary quizzes, she is declared on real women, even outside of the gaming a fake, which makes it very difficult for her community. According to Canada’s Center for to build a reputation or have a standing in the Digital and Media Literacy, “When women are gaming community. This is not a process male consistently shown as sex objects rather than gamers have to endure. agents, consistently depicted in demeaning Female gamers can’t act too “girly” or and degrading ways, and consistently shown “manly.” However, these gender stereotypes as submissive, the result is to condone and supare defined differently by each male gamer, port violence against women, and anti-woman which leaves female gamers even more unsure attitudes.” of what they must do to be accepted. They Enough is enough. It’s time for the gaming must refer to themselves as “girl gamers,” not community to acknowledge the large popula“gamer girls” and they can’t seek attention, tion of female gamers and treat them the same whether through community forums or sites, or as male gamers. Lots of people love video just Tumblr, even if they just rekt the monster games, and the number of supporters is almost in a boss battle. A players who doesn’t comply equal when it comes to gender. Game develwith these “rules” will be targeted through opers need to start making games featuring social media platforms and gaming community strong, not sexualized, women in leading roles. platforms with barrages of hurtful and someAs a young woman playing video games, I times threatening comments. This is done to want to know that the community respects me, remind her of her place; she is not a welcomed that game developers no longer make games member of the gaming community, but she for men, but rather for people. So many labels may be tolerated under certain conditions. have been thrown around – male gamer, female Once female gamers get past all these faux gamer, gamer girl, girl gamer. Once we accept rules and regulations, there are more hurdles. that the community isn’t divided into two Many hate using the chat feature, which is key groups, male and female, we can become one for planning complex strategies, because of the group: people who love video games. ✦ comments they receive from male teammates FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @TEEN.INK Uncensored I am not a category Not a position A role A meaningless statistic On your fancy chart I will not be put in a place Told what to do What to make What to speak My words are my words My love is my love One or the other Or none of the above Don’t put a censored bar Over my heart Don’t bleep out my declarations of love Put a tax on my artistic endeavors Ruffle your feathers Offensive content Abusive content Trigger warning over my soul My language is foul language I am an artist My art is my words Don’t put a censored bar Over my heart Self-righteous Entitled you have the power to a rifle Put a bullet to my art I’ll show you where to start Your target is my heart Because my work is my art My art is my words And I love my work I take pride in my art And my words are a reflection Of me So take your rifle Take your bible And pray For the day When the art goes away The moment the bullet hits My heart and my brain And my work My art My words You’ve finally put a censored bar Over my heart points of view Sexism in Gaming by Matty Mendez, Kissimmee, FL Photo by Kate Young, Union City, OH O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 15 pride & prejudice What Is Feminism? by Sophie Consorti, Wilmington, MA F The more I venture out into the world, the more I eminism: “the theory of the political, economlearn that this is true. Here’s an exchange I had with ic, and social equality of the sexes.” Yes, that an older man at church: is straight from Merriam-Webster. No, I am “So you want to be a nurse?” he asked. not a crazy, man-hating lesbian. I just believe that “No,” I replied, “a doctor – a pediatrician.” men and women should be treated as equals. I’ve Again he said, “You mean a children’s nurse?” grown up with strong women surrounding me: my I just shook my head and walked away, unwilling grandma, my mom, my aunts. They all call themto argue. Every time I’m asked why I want to be selves feminists. I wasn’t always comfortable identia doctor, why I think I can get into an Ivy League fying as a feminist; it took me a while to realize that medical school, I am even more determined to prove it doesn’t mean I have to hate men or burn my bras. them wrong. It means that I want and will fight I have realized that as a woman, for equal rights. I need to take extra precautions to It wasn’t until the beginning of I pretend I don’t ensure my safety. At a gift-wrapping freshman year that I began calling event at Barnes and Noble, I was myself a feminist. I was working at a care as a male persistently pursued by a middle-aged grocery store and realized how some customer calls man. After a couple women were treated there. I was, of hours of politely and still am, one of those women. me “Sugar” but dismissively anWithout fail, I get called one name swering his invasive or another by the time I clock out. questions, I decided that enough It doesn’t matter whether the man is still in college was enough. I excused myself and or lives in a nursing home. “Sweetie.” “Honey pie.” talked to the store manager, who “Darling.” Never “miss” or even “ma’am.” I have told me that he’s bothered women to pretend I don’t care as a male customer calls me before. With this information, I “Sugar” and refers to my bagger as “Sir.” was thoroughly frightened, and by I’m glad that this is all I have to deal with. I’ve the end of the night, was happy to heard horror stories from other women about their escape my favorite bookstore. As work experiences. I talked to my mom, and she we left the parking lot, I glanced shrugged and said, “Boys will be boys.” But these in my rear-view mirror and saw his aren’t boys. They are grown men referring to a teencar following us. I’ve never been age girl as their “Sugar darling.” I’ve been told that more terrified. When I alerted my this doesn’t end in high school. It doesn’t even stop mom, she went into protection when I get a degree or a fantastic job. mode; she drove to the police station and pulled in. We watched his car slowly drive by, his eyes never leaving mine. I’ll never forget the fear I felt. To me, feminism isn’t something that should be debated; it isn’t something people should be against. Feminism, simply put, is the belief that men and women are equal. I don’t think that men should be hated or have their rights taken away. That’s the opposite of what feminism is about. Regardless of gender, equal rights are essential to a well-run society. For someone to call themselves an anti-feminist doesn’t make sense to me. By saying this, they are saying that they don’t care about equality. Equality is something I will fight for for the rest of my life because we are not even close to reaching it. ✦ Photo by Stephanie Shen, Lake Hiawatha, NJ Am I a Banana? And Other Identity Crises by Katherine Ong, Alamo, CA T here is an epidemic plaguing the nation. It causes millions of Asian Americans to feel as if they are “yellow” on the outside and “white” on the inside. This dichotomy can only be described as musa sapientum fixa languore, or banana disease. Many Asian Americans who grow up in predominantly white America tend to adopt certain aspects of American culture to better fit in with their Caucasian peers. Listening to American music, watching American movies, or enjoying American sports helps make Asian Americans feel less “other” when hanging out with non-Asian friends. On the contrary, assimilating into American society also causes Asian Americans to lose some contact with their cultural roots. They may participate in fewer of the Asian cultural practices brought over by their parents and become, as many call it, “white-washed.” If I received a banana for every time I’ve been called “white-washed,” I would have enough to give to every Asian American I know as a friendly, potassium-filled reminder of the identity crisis they’ve probably faced at some point. I’ve lived in predominantly white towns my whole life. The schools I at- 16 Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 I laughed. “What do you mean?” tended had few Asian kids, so, naturally, “Like, I forgot I was Asian,” Wendy most of my friends were white. The said, peering at her reflection. movies I watch, the artists I listen to and Puzzled, I looked at my reflection as the places I shop are mostly American. well. Though I was not startled by the My family speaks English at home, for Asian face staring back, I was taken even though my mother hails from Taipei aback by the fact that I suddenly underand flaunts trilingualism in Mandarin, stood what Wendy meant: being Asian Taiwanese, and English, my father is in a 72 percent Caucasian high school from Detroit and can only boast fluency means you sometimes have to “forget” in medical terminology. that you are Asian in order to fit in. So how can one blame me for being Banana-ism causes Asian a bit “white-washed?” I Americans to sometimes feel live in an English-speaking and “act white” to be socially household, grew up having “I forgot I accepted. This brings about a mostly Caucasian friends, and am deeply immersed was Asian” slew of identity issues. First, Asian Americans still will in American culture. These not be seen as white enough, conditions are unequivocaldespite all their efforts; they ly conducive to Stage IV simply do not look the part. Second, they musa sapientum fixa languore. Somewill not be seen as Asian enough, either. times it’s easy to forget how sharply my Speaking English with an American acexterior appearance contrasts with my cent, raving about the newest Hollywood internal “white” feelings. movies, or proclaiming a love for sweet My Asian friend, “Wendy,” perfectly potato fries does not put one in the highdescribed this conundrum one day in est regard of one’s Asian elders. (Salty? the restroom. We were scrutinizing our Who me?) The duality of the Asian reflections in the mirror, me violently American identity can make us feel as raking my fingers through my hair and though we don’t quite belong anywhere. Wendy briskly re-styling her ponytail. What can a banana afflicted with musa She suddenly gasped and whispered, sapientum fixa languore do? Embrace “Oh my God. I look so Asian.” COMMENT yo-self. Stop trying to mold yourself into this or that. Recognize that being Asian and American is a gift. It’s okay if you don’t fit perfectly into white society or Asian society because, quite frankly, life is more interesting when you can enjoy aspects of multiple cultures. You are exposed to languages besides English, which not only allows you to communicate with relatives but helps you make connections in the social and business world. You can participate in your family’s various cultural traditions and gain insight into how people live in other parts of the world. You are exposed to foreign sights, exotic scents, different cuisine, boba. You can experience so much more. So, friends, remember that it’s okay if you’re called “white-washed” or forget you’re Asian sometimes. These are not permanent conditions, and you are simply finding a way to recognize the American side of your Asian American experience. Espouse the duality; it adds depth to your life. As for my other multicultural friends, whether you’re a self-proclaimed egg, Oreo, coconut, or whatever, the same rule applies: embrace yo-self. Life is far more interesting when you do. ✦ ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM O f all of the things that I have ever been afraid of, my mother has terrified me the most. She isn’t a scary woman at all. She has a warm smile and bright green eyes, and is friendly and empathetic – a wonderful mother and woman. I wasn’t afraid of my mom; I was afraid because she was changing. That’s why I waited nervously outside of room 109 of Residence Inn on a cloudy August day. My dad had taken my siblings and me to visit her, and while they were eager for the reunion, I stood biting my nails and considering running back to the car. What was wrong? Why was I so afraid of my own mother? At last the sound of the door unlatching rang through the hallway and the round, red face and strawberry-blonde hair of my grandfather appeared. He had come to take care of Mom while she was unable to live at home. “Hi,” he greeted us. He was hit with a series of questions from my siblings. “Can we come in?” “Where’s Mom?” “Is she here?” He held up his hand and an expectant silence fell over us. “Now, I’m going to let you in, but you have to listen,” he instructed. “You can’t touch your mother. She can’t handle that right now. Try to be quiet. Also, this won’t be a long visit. by Hannah Clark, State College, PA to my emotions; I had been really Your mother is tired.” struggling since her diagnosis. We nodded solemnly. He opened “Hannah, how are you?” Mom the door wide, and we tiptoed in. asked. There she was, on the couch, head I snapped out of my thoughts and propped up with pillows. We had visreplied with the patently untrue, “I’m ited her before, but today she looked good.” frighteningly different. She barely reMy disobedient eyes wandered sembled the mom from a month ago. to her head. She must have noticed Trying to focus on anything but her because she said, “It’ll grow back.” head, I studied her face. Although she “Can I?” I asked. was smiling, she didn’t look well. Her She nodded, and I reached my hand green eyes were bloodshot from the out. Her hair wasn’t completely gone; medications the doctors were using a short, wispy layer still to try to keep her alive. clung to her scalp. Her bald Because her immune head was soft, but not in system was so weak, she Why was I a good way. Nothing was had to wear a medical mask to minimize her afraid of my wrong with how it felt, but that my mom had exposure to germs. She own mother? Inohated hair. I hated that it had had almost no eyelashes been stolen by a heartless or eyebrows, and her skin disease that had planted its was much pinker than ugly flag and taken over our lives. It I considered healthy … not that she wasn’t fair. was, though. Mom looked so different without A few weeks before, my mom had her dishwater-blonde hair. I could been diagnosed with leukemia, an unonly talk to her like a stranger to forgiving form of cancer that attacks avoid breaking down. For a few mothe very essence of life: the blood. ments we made small talk, and then She had recently started chemothermy siblings interrupted our exchange, apy, a treatment that could save her and I moved aside to give them time life but would extract a high price: her with her. strength … and her hair. We didn’t stay long. A lump formed in my throat, but I As soon as we were home, I refused to break down in front of my cried. The strongest person in my family. Everyone else was happy to life had just appeared in front of see her, so I shouldn’t cry. If I talked my eyes in a helpless state. It was about myself I would cry. The past a long, relieving cry. All of my few weeks had been a relentless bully No Less Human anger and grief released in a violent wave of tears and emotions. I was angry at the doctors for not trying hard enough, angry at cancer for existing, and angry at every person in the world with a healthy mother. It wasn’t fair. For 10 years I had looked up to my mom as she endured every trial and climbed every obstacle that life threw her way. She was weakened for the first time, but this was not the end of her story. For another year I watched my mom slowly gaining strength. I watched her sleep for hours upon hours. I watched her swallow enormous handfuls of pills. I watched her laugh more every day. I watched her take off the medical mask. I watched her climb stairs again. I watched her defy the doctors’ predictions that she wouldn’t live. I watched her hair grow back. Watching her overcome cancer gave me emotional and mental strength, and it was during that year of healing that I looked up to her the most. As she endured needles, radiation, pain, loneliness, and loss of her normalcy, I knew that by following her example I could conquer anything. ✦ health Fear and Anger by Devereaux Frazier, Baltimore, MD I give a firm handshake, can’t look people in the eye, once heard that “it’s not enough for you to be able can’t do any of the cool dances, can’t play sports. to communicate verbally, you have to communicate I can’t make myself stand out to a girl, and I well in writing. Otherwise, you’re half a person.” wouldn’t know what to do even if one did happen to That didn’t upset me at first, but after some thought, I like me. Heck, I wouldn’t even know she liked me. I’ve came to a very mortifying conclusion: It described me never gotten it, and I don’t get it, and I probably will perfectly. never get it. It makes me furious sometimes that I can’t I have Asperger’s syndrome, a subtype of autism be like other kids. I can’t be “cool” or have all spectrum disorder. It may be less the girls by my side. I’m the last to answer a physically debilitating, but it’s quite question, even if I know the answer. emotionally taxing. Asperger’s limits If I can’t Sometimes, I really hate life. my ability to communicate – particuLooking inwardly, if I can communicate larly in verbal exchanges and nonsucceed, well on paper but fail horribly face to face, I verbal subtleties. I see this, feel this what will must only be half a person. I can only do half every day. I can write very well, but I what’s required of a person in a complex struggle to understand the intricacies of become of me? of society. If I can’t succeed, what will become even simple social exchanges. of me? Will I be forgotten because I was too I don’t like to talk. I take a long time timid to say my name? Will I be passed over to get comfortable with people. I like to hyper-focus on a topic. I’m not a very good converbecause I was too slow to put up my hand? Will somesationalist. I get rigid when a situation is stressful. I one be chosen instead of me because I was too shy to don’t say what’s going on or how I feel. I have frequent show up? If I can only do half of what I need to do in order to mood swings. I don’t smile. I don’t laugh. I can barely succeed in life, that must make me half a person. If I’m grin. I don’t understand sarcasm, jokes, or subtle cues. half a person, does that make me … less human? ✦ Sometimes I loathe the days I have to go out. I can’t FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @TEEN.INK Photo by Isabella Elwaw, Miami, FL ‘Tis a Lisp My tongue, Cramped in its cage, Constantly uncomfortable, Pining for release. My tongue, When allowed a Temporary freedom, Rebels against my words. My tongue Turns every S or C Into an impediment. by Grace Miller, Easley, SC O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 17 COLLEGE DIRECTORY Teen Ink • October ’16 • Page 18 ASSUMPTION COLLEGE UA has a rich tradition of excellence in academics, student life and sports. Ranked in the top 50 public universities surveyed by U.S. News & World Report; 9 undergraduate degree-granting schools and colleges; 20:1 student-teacher ratio; all located on a 1,000-acre historic campus. To learn more, visit gobama.ua.edu/teenink. Box 870132 s Tuscaloosa, AL 35487-0132 s 800-933-BAMA Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree Programs: tIllustration tGraphic Design tMultimedia/Web Design t3-D Modeling/Animation tLife Drawing tPainting tWatercolor Painting tPhotography 332 South Michigan Ave. Chicago, IL 60604-4302 312-461-0600 For more information about our graduation rates and other disclosures, please visit our website at http://www.aaart.edu/disclosures/ Liberal arts college with an emphasis on preparing leaders in business, government and the professions. Best of both worlds as a member of The Claremont Colleges. Suburban location near Los Angeles. 890 Columbia Ave. Claremont, CA 91711 909-621-8088 www.mckenna.edu Preparing students with individual learning styles for transfer to four-year colleges. 15 majors including two B.A. programs in Arts & Entertainment Management and Dance. Ashland University’s creative writing majors learn the ins and outs of the writing process from inspiration to publication with professors who have extensive publication experience. www.ashland.edu/english Colby-Sawyer is a comprehensive baccalaureate college that integrates the liberal arts and sciences with professional preparation. Take a virtual tour of our beautiful New England campus and learn more about our vibrant, close-knit learning community at www.go.colby-sawyer.edu. Colby-Sawyer College 541 Main Street New London, NH 03257 (800) 272-1015 www.dean.edu 877-TRY DEAN Fostering creativity and academic excellence since 1854. Thrive in our environment of personalized attention and in the energy of the Twin Cities. 1536 Hewitt Avenue Saint Paul, MN 55104 800-753-9753 www.hamline.edu Academic excellence and global perspective in one of America‘s most “livable” metropolitan areas. 1000 Grand Avenue St. Paul, MN 55105 800-231-7974 www.macalester.edu 500 Salisbury Street 500 Salisbury St.,ÎÎÎ Worcester, MA 01609 Worcester, MA 01609 1-866-477-7776 1-866-477-7776 www.assumption.edu CORNELL U N I V E R S I T Y Cornell, as an Ivy League school and a land-grant college, combines two great traditions. A truly American institution, Cornell was founded in 15 and remains a place where “any person can find instruction in any study.” 410 Thurston Avenue Ithaca, NY 14850 607-255-5241 www.cornell.edu • Private New England College founded in 1784 • Welcoming atmosphere, easy to make friends • Thorough preparation for a career-targeted job • We place 95% of our students in jobs upon graduation Office of Admissions 61 Sever Street, Worcester, MA 01609 1-508-373-9400 • www.becker.edu Dartmouth A member of the Ivy League and widely recognized for the depth, breadth, and flexibility of its undergraduate program, Dartmouth offers students an extraordinary opportunity to collaborate with faculty in the pursuit of their intellectual aspirations. 6016 McNutt Hall Hanover, NH 03755 603-646-2875 www.dartmouth.edu DELAWARE VALLEY COLLEGE $%,!7!2% 6!,,%9 #/,,%'% • 1,600 Undergraduate Students s 5NDERGRADUATE3TUDENTS • Nationally Ranked Athletics Teams s .ATIONALLY2ANKED!THLETICS4EAMS s -ORETHANPROGRAMSOFSTUDY INCLUDING#RIMINAL*USTICE"USINESS !DMINISTRATION3MALL!NIMAL 3CIENCE%QUINE3TUDIESAND #OUNSELING0SYCHOLOGY Built on Catholic education values of academic excellence, DeSales University is driven by educators and advisors that inspire performance. 2755 Station Avenue CenterValley, PA 18034 $ELAWARE6ALLEY#OLLEGE 99 Main Street Franklin, MA 02038 Since 1904 Since 1904 d iexcellence ll i with h thearich, • Academic Excellence in • Academic rich Catholic intellectualtradition tradition Catholic intellectual World Class Faculty in Small ••Highly regarded faculty andClasses averaging 20 students small classes • Quality of Life in aresidential 90% • Close-knit, very active Residential community (90%Community of students live on campus allÎÎÎ 4 years) $OYLESTOWN 0! 777$%,6!,%$5s$%,6!, Harvard offers 6,500 undergraduates an education from distinguished faculty in more than 40 fields in the liberal arts as well as engineering and applied science. 877.4.DESALES www.desales.edu/teenink A challenging private university for adventurous students seeking an education with global possibilities. Get Where You Want To Go 8 Garden Street Cambridge, MA 02138 617-495-1551 www.harvard.edu Mount Holyoke is a highly selective liberal arts college for women, recognized worldwide for its rigorous academic program, its global community, and its legacy of women leaders. MOUNT HOLYOKE COLLEGE 50 College Street, South Hadley, MA 01075 www.mtholyoke.edu www.hpu.edu/teenink Fordham offers the distinctive Jesuit philosophy of education, marked by excellent teaching, intellectual inquiry and care of the whole student, in the capital of the world. www.fordham.edu/tink Located in New York’s stunning Finger Lakes region, Ithaca College provides a first-rate education on a first-name basis. Its Schools of Business, Communications, Health Sciences and Human Performance, Humanities and Sciences, and Music and its interdisciplinary division offer over 100 majors. my.ithaca.edu 100 Job Hall, 953 Danby Road Ithaca, NY 14850 800-429-4272 • www.ithaca.edu/admission Earn a BA in Global Studies while studying at our centers in Costa Rica, India, China, NYC or with our programs in Australia, Taiwan, Turkey and Thailand! 9 Hanover Place, Brooklyn, NY 11201 www.liu.edu/globalcollege 718.780.4312 • globalcollege@liu.edu An experience of a lifetime, with experience for a lifetime. BUSINESS CULINARY ARTS HOSPITALITY TECHNOLOGY Providence, Rhode Island 1-800-342-5598 www.jwu.edu Ohio Northern is a comprehensive university of liberal arts and professional programs offering more than 3,600 students over 70 majors in the colleges of Arts & Sciences, Business Administration, Engineering, Pharmacy and Law. Office of Admissions Ada, OH 45810 1-888-408-4668 www.onu.edu/teen GET YOUR COLLEGE LISTED • Nationally ranked liberal arts college • Self-designed and interdepartmental majors • Small classes taught by distinguished faculty • 100+ campus organizations • 23 NCAA Division III sports • A tradition of service-learning 61 S. Sandusky St. • Delaware, OH 43015 800-922-8953 • www.owu.edu in this directory and on TeenInk.com 1-800-363-1986 John@TeenInk.com TeenInk.com/College-Directory www.TeenInk.com @teen.ink @teenink Teen-Ink-Magazine COLLEGE DIRECTORY Teen Ink • October ’16 • Page 19 Princeton BACHELOR ❘ ASSOCIATE ❘ CERTIFICATE 7KH ODUJHVW LQWHUQVKLS SODFHPHQW SURJUDPRIDQ\XQLYHUVLW\LQWKH 1HZ<RUN0HWURSOLWDQ$UHD Talent teaches talent in Pratt’s writing BFA for aspiring young writers. Weekly discussions by guest writers and editors. Nationally recognized college for the arts. Beautiful residential campus minutes from Manhattan. Choose from more than 100 career fields. www.pct.edu/ink 7ZRVWUDWHJLF1HZ<RUNORFDWLRQV 0RUHWKDQXQGHUJUDGXDWHPD PDKKRUV 0RUHWKDQXQGHUJUDGXDWH DQGFRPELQHGDFFHOHUDWHGEDFKHORU¶V DQGJUDGXDWHGHJUHHSURJUDPV 200 Willoughby Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11205 800-331-0834 • 718-636-3514 email: jaaron@pratt.edu www.pratt.edu "" " """!" " !"! " !"" " !"! !!!!"" ST. MARY’S UNIVERSITY • Personal attention to help you excel • Powerful programs to challenge you to think in new ways • No limits to where St. Mary’s can take you One Camino Santa Maria San Antonio, TX 78228-8503 800-367-7868 www.stmarytx.edu Attention all writers! URI has a great major called “Writing and Rhetoric.” Prepare yourself for a career as a journalist, a novelist, an advertising copywriter, a public relations professional, or an English teacher! Located minutes from RI’s gorgeous beaches. Newman Hall, Kingston, RI 02881 401-874-7100 uri.edu/artsci/writing/ University Princeton simultaneously strives to be one of the leading research universities and the most outstanding undergraduate college in the world. We provide students with academic, extracurricular and other resources, in a residential community committed to diversity. A picturesque New England campus, offering programs in Business, Communications, Health Sciences, Arts and Sciences, Engineering, Nursing, Education, Law and Medicine. Located midway between New York City and Boston with Division I athletics. Consistently rated among the top Regional Colleges in the North in U.S. News & World Report. 275 Mt. Carmel Avenue Hamden, CT 06518 1.800.462.1944 www.quinnipiac.edu Princeton, NJ 08544 (609) 258-3060 www.princeton.edu SWARTHMORE NORTHAMPTON, MASSACHUSETTS A distinguished faculty, an innovative curriculum and outstanding undergraduates offer unparalleled opportunities for intellectual growth on a beautiful California campus. S U M M E R AT SMI T H Precollege Programs for Academically Talented Girls Entering Grades 9 Through 12 in Fall 2017 Mongtag Hall – 355 Galves St. Stanford, CA 94305 650-723-2091 www.stanford.edu summerprecollege@smith.edu www.smith.edu/summer READY READY READY to meet the demands of society to inspire innovation to hit the ground running Private, Catholic, liberal arts college founded in 1871 by the Ursuline Sisters. Offers over 30 undergraduate majors and 9 graduate programs. The only womenfocused college in Ohio and one of few in the United States. Ursuline teaches the empowerment of self. Menomonie, Wisconsin www.uwstout.edu/admissions 2550 Lander Rd. Pepper Pike, OH 44124 1-888-URSULINE • www.ursuline.edu A liberal arts college of 1,500 students near Philadelphia, Swarthmore is recognized internationally for its climate of academic excitement and commitment to bettering the world. A college unlike any other. 500 College Ave. Swarthmore, PA 19081 800-667-3110 www.swarthmore.edu Located in beautiful northeastern Pennsylvania, Wilkes is an independent institution dedicated to academic excellence, mentoring and hands-on learning. Wilkes offers more than 36 programs in pharmacy, the sciences, liberal arts and business. Check out www.becolonel.com. Earn a world-renowned degree in a personalized environment. Work with professors who will know your name and your goals. Choose from 40 majors and many research, internship and study-abroad opportunities. go XXXVQCQJśFEVr Bradford, PA 16701 Yale College, the undergraduate body of Yale University, is a highly selective liberal arts college enrolling 5,200 students in over 70 major programs. Residential life is organized around Residential Colleges where students live and eat. www.wilkes.edu 84 West South Street Wilkes-Barre, PA 18766 I 1-800-WILKES-U P.O. Box 208234 New Haven, CT 06520 203-432-9300 www.yale.edu Poetry Anthology ~ Poems by teens who have mastered the craft ~ What do you think about Teen Ink magazine? Available at Amazon.com, BN.com and bookstores everywhere. Send us your Feedback! TeenInk.com/Submit memoirs Monster by Conner Green, Williamsport, OH A ll my life, I’ve been an outcast and a freak in my community. Why? Simple. I am being myself. They tell me to be myself, then they treat me as if I am an abomination. What makes me a freak in their eyes? What makes them think that I am nothing but a horrible creature? I have always acted different from who I am. When I was a preschooler I would hang out with the boys instead of the girls. Despite that, I wore dress- Art by Corissa Gessman, Fort Collins, CO alive?” I guess I knew I still had a lot es and skirts, liked being pretty, but to live for. it never felt right. Deep down, I still Middle school got better in a way. think I am more of a boy than a girl. People mostly just ignored me, but a When I started elementary school, few still bugged me about my beliefs. I hung out with girls. In third grade I started reading books about myths I pretended to have crushes on boys and monsters. When I told people because I thought that was what I was about them, they would stare at me supposed to do. In fourth grade, the like I was crazy. “Why do you believe girls I called friends drifted away and in monsters but not God?” they’d ask. I started hanging out with boys again. Want to know what I liked the most But fifth grade changed me the most. about monster stories? That year, I told one The monsters themselves. boy I thought was my I felt a kinship with them. friend that I did not “Why do If they were bloodthirsty believe in God. Instead you believe in and murderous, I adof reacting like a friend, them for it. Those he treated me like a monsters but mired monsters embraced the monster, a freak, an not God?” dark nature in themselves abomination. After that, instead of hiding it as we everyone treated me humans do. In the stories differently. They would where they were hunted by humans make their fingers into the shape of a just for not being human, I knew how cross, hoping that it would make me they were feeling. I knew what it was disappear. like for everyone to hate you and Soon everyone was bullying me. want you dead just because you are First it was about religion, then it was different. about my hair, saying that it never In myths and fairy tales I was looked brushed or clean, or that I had drawn to the villains. In Egyptian lice. I felt alone. mythology, I liked Set, the god of I never went outside or even left my chaos, who killed his brother for the room. I sat in the dark playing with throne of Egypt. In Norse mythology, my toys, talking to myself and hating I liked Loki, the god of mischief, who my life. My classmates asked, “If was chained to a rock and had a snake you hate your life, why are you still A Millisecond of Peace by Brianna O’Shea, Wilbraham, MA I from college in a year and already has a job at Apple. put on an oversized blue sweater and my black, He has everything in his life planned out and will mud-covered Vans before running down the stairs. drone on for hours about it. I catch a glimpse of the time: it’s close to 11 p.m., I’m not paying attention to their conversation and Michael and Shannon are waiting by the door. We because I am concentrating on trying to find the Big start walking down our steep driveway and go left. Dipper among the crowded stars. I stop and take off The bridge on Red Bridge Road was closed last year my shoes to feel the smooth road under my feet. I have because it started to deteriorate and was not safe to to run to catch up with them. cross. Since this town doesn’t have the money to fix We get to the barriers with a sign that says STOP. it, it’s closed indefinitely. My neighborhood doesn’t We climb over the roadblock and continue onto the mind because it’s peaceful without cars racing by our bridge. There are pebbles and potholes houses. everywhere, so I feel sharp My family takes advantage of our quiSometimes you pains in my bare feet whenet road by going on walks late at night ever I take a step. I put my in the summer. This night, my siblings have to stop shoes back on. Spray paint and I are walking while the moon shines so brightly it’s almost like day time, and and not think on the right side warns you to avoid that part of the there are too many stars to count. It is about what’s bridge. The water rushes a warm night with a breeze that makes below and splashes against me glad I brought a sweater. Going on coming the cracked cement. a walk with my siblings feels strange Suddenly I’m quiet; because we rarely spend time just the everything feels still. For a second I feel three of us. calm with no anxiety about school. I start My brother, Michael, is ranting about his current reto think about how I am going to regret lationship, while my sister, Shannon, lights a cigarette. going to bed at one in the morning. She’s leaving soon for AmeriCorps, and is panicking This year I will be a sophomore, about being on her own. I know that this will be good which means I am that much closer to for her since she doesn’t know what to do for her my future. In my mind I am already future. Lately we all just try to avoid that conversation preparing for tests – MCAS, PSAT – that with her because she gets nervous and acts like a turtle are coming soon. I don’t know what I hiding in its shell. want to do after high school, which terMichael is the complete opposite. He’s graduating 20 Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 constantly drip venom on his face. In Greek mythology, I liked Hades, god of the Underworld, who is often seen and treated like a villain, and Athena, goddess of wisdom, who in one particular myth was never meant to exist. I admired the monsters in those tales because they don’t try to hide their savage nature. I pitied them because they were always seen as villains. I pitied them because people would rather they die and disappear. I loved them because they were treated like I’d been most of my life. High school began last year, and I acquired a new interest: writing. When I write I feel happy, truly happy. I write the truth of how I feel. I write what I could never say because nobody would listen. But when people read what I write, they are disgusted because what I write is not nice. It’s not pleasant or happy. What I write is full of sadness, ugliness, “evil.” Now that you’ve read this, what do you think? Am I a freak that should be hidden or destroyed, or am I another person who’s been treated unfairly because I am different? It’s your opinion, your choice. And I do not care what it is. This is my choice, my decisions, my life. Call me a monster if you will. ✦ COMMENT rifies me. Some of my peers claim they have the next 10 years all planned, while I’m just getting through the week. My relatives and guidance counselor keep questioning me about college and work while my head is spinning so fast it’s about to pop off. But standing on this deteriorating bridge on a calm, warm night, I feel content with everything for a millisecond. I feel a little hope about my future. Sometimes, you have to stop and not think about what is coming and appreciate the moment you are in right now. ✦ Art by Li Han Zheng, Markham, ON, Canada ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM I never met Autumn. I never spoke to her. It took an entire day for me to figure out who she was. You may already hate me by this point. I know. Why would someone who never met her be writing about her? I have to because no one else has. No one at my school, at least. I think it’s important that someone write about her, for her. If no one else will do it, I will. Because I loved Autumn. Not in a creepy way or a stalker way or a romantic way. I said I didn’t know her, and that’s the truth. I simply loved her for being different. I first saw Autumn freshman year. I would pass her in the halls and watch her. I wanted to talk to her; it was her difference that drew me to her. I never got up the courage, though. I’ve been told that she was shy too, but I think she was brave. She was brave because she wore dark eyeliner and red lipstick, and her ears were stretched further than anyone I’d met. I didn’t know this until after she died, but she was brave enough to stay in school and work alone on a day that every other senior skipped. I wonder if she was brave in those final moments when her car skidded on the snow-covered roads. Did she realize at that moment she wasn’t going to make it home? I didn’t have any classes with Autumn, and I didn’t know her name until after her car crashed. She was a senior my sophomore year, and she had a special place inside of me. She was the person I forgot about until the moment I saw her, and in that space of time she would take up my thoughts. She never wore the uniform; not once did I see her in compliance with the dress code. Autumn wore shades of brown and paisley scarves. She always seemed older, almost motherly. I thought it was because of her clothes, but I understand now. It was because she had lost a mother; she was overcom- I loved her for being different Letter to Myself All the days you spend filing and bleaching and plucking, All the nights you sleep naked, curing under thousands of gas lamps, Waiting to be smoother and whiter but not too white, Waiting to be just a little bit cleaner but not overdone, Why do you try so hard to be hairless? Why do you wrap your body around an iron conveyor belt, Shredding your skin and nails under the rusty bite of a razor, As if your monsoon heart could really be extruded through size 00 jeans? If you should have a daughter when you are older, Tell her how beautifully her hair is spread across her pillowcase at night. Remind her how her toenails are shaped like tiny chips of fine china, And the way her lips turn bright red from the water in the bathtub. One day she too will paste together a crooked body From the shrunken pages of a magazine, She will cut it out and tack it to her FOLLOW US ON Art by Jacinth Fang, Milpitas, CA pensating for herself and her family. I’ve never lost a parent, but I understand what it is like to try to become the person who is gone. I wonder who will compensate for Autumn’s absence? The plugs in her ears were what fascinated me. They were huge. I thought they were cool, but a lot of people found them gross. I thought she was strong to keep them in. I thought she was stronger when she decided to heal them to a “normal” size. I don’t think she chose to do that because of other people, and that’s what made it so significant to me. About a month before she died, Autumn took out her tunnels and started wearing tiny, dangly pearl earrings. I wonder if they were her mother’s. Those earrings hanging from her stretched lobes are what I see when I think of Autumn. I’m angry she never got to see her ears heal around them. She never got to graduate. I keep checking Facebook and the local news stations for pictures of her. I expect the world to stop and become a shrine to her any moment. I know it won’t. That frustrates me. Everyone either cares or doesn’t, and I wish they would all choose one emotion together so that I could either hate them all or feel part of a community. Instead, I have mixed feelings as the world keeps moving. I want everything to be replaced with her. But it hasn’t happened, and it kills me that no one will stop and remember this girl with the big holes in her ears and the tiny pearls hanging from them. Not even me. I miss Autumn. We all miss Autumn. ✦ by Claire Wang, Farmington Hills, MI scrapbook of impossible almosts. She will tug at the skin around her knees and hips and the back of her neck. Dear 15-year-old me, Let me ask you this: by Amarynth Ruch, Summit Hill, PA memoirs Remembering Autumn of a question mark, Eyes spinning in their swollen pockets, Searching for a place that she may still call hers. She will bend over backwards in the But when she is convinced that she will bathroom mirror never find her home in this red rock, To see if she can find her rib cage in Before she falls asleep under the pointed sneer of a scalpel, her reflection, Remind her that there are other ways Tighten a string through her spine to cut herself away from and tie the knot around her ankles the expectations So she may walk the way She carries like wrecking models do, like they are balls strapped between her waiting You are not shoulders. For someone to time the rhythm of their steps the promise or That there are unread poems to the broken beat of the curse or the dressed in her name, a bass drum. Words she has yet to scrawl reason why in spray paint The same six-foot Across broken boulevards scientists will teach And freshly poured asphalt. her how to live Off nothing but black coffee and Dear 15-year-old me, cinnamon-flavored chewing gum. You run an epilator down your chest They will introduce her to men who because you will want to tuck their hearts Do not want them to know what really Into the crook of her elbow, covers your heart. Eager to press their sadness into the side of her neck, Forty tweezers lined in rows of ten, So she may sit with her legs doublerotating in tandem, crossed under the kitchen table, They will leave scars one day, you Her spine curled into the cochlea know, tiny purplish specks on INSTAGRAM @TEEN.INK your skin From where the hair grew inside instead of out, Curling itself against your sternum As if to remind you that it is still there, That it is just as much a part of you as your heart or lungs or skeleton. But know this: While you are trying to write your blurb in the tome of the universe, Know you were not born a bronze statue So people would want to rub fingertips against the sole of your lucky left foot. You are not the promise or the curse or the reason why. Some day you will love elbows the way you love hands. You will love the footprints across your cheekbones the way you love Walking your fingers down the spine of a notebook, The hushed fervor of the ink, The puckering pages That kiss your palms as you write: Dear 15-year-old me, Let me ask you this …. ✦ O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 21 memoirs Fat and Funny I was always known as the class clown. I am hilarious – so hilarious that I should consider a career as a stand-up comedian. My humor creates a fish-eye effect that magnifies my personality and forces my physical appearance to the periphery. At least that’s what I thought. Since the age of nine, I have struggled with my weight. Even at nine I knew I was overweight, knew it was unhealthy and wanted to combat it. I shared my struggle with my parents, who worked to help motivate me. At the same time, I was a sensitive child, so my parents would leap hurdles to keep Art by Emily Parente, Cooper City, FL Noah by Arin Forstadt, Merrick, NY took to lose a considerable amount of weight. away the insults regarding my appearance that tore So, from January to April, the Atkins guidelines me apart. My meals felt spotlighted: I can clearly were my bible and the gym was my sanctuary. I remember them observing my plate of penne alla lived by my highly regimented diet and exercise vodka or warm chocolate chip cookies and censorschedule, and it worked. In those four months, I ing themselves, sighing in sympathetic frustration. lost 60 pounds! It’s true what they say: nothing But outside the walls of my home no one paid much tastes better than skinny feels. I began receiving attention to my weight. compliments on my appearance, and no one seemed It was not until freshman year of high school that to think I was less humorous. I continued to walk a peer directly confronted me about my size. While through the halls with my contagious smile and irrewaiting for the bus after school one day, I jokingsistible laugh, only I was a bit thinner, a bit lighter. ly stated that I was going to join the winter track That May, when I scarfed down a bowl team. My classmate (who shall remain of pasta at my friend’s birthday dinner, nameless) announced loudly that I I decided to let go of my diet. Nothing shouldn’t engage in any school sports Was it my made me happier than carbohydrates, not because “you wouldn’t be as funny if you weren’t fat.” weight that even smaller jeans that fit for one glorious month. Indulging in willful ignorance I had become a professional at using made me and turning a blind eye to my former humor to soothe and comfort myself, but this came so unexpectedly, so humorous? bible as it collected dust in my room, I began to gain back the weight. suddenly, that I was unable to laugh I experienced contrasting feelings of the pain away. Mentally paralyzed and disappointment in myself while also acknowledgtemporarily defeated, I tried to let her comment roll ing that perhaps such a restrictive diet wasn’t the off, but privately, I couldn’t help but wonder whethanswer. Even if it’s difficult to remember at times, er it was my weight or my personality that made me moderation serves better than extreme limitations. I humorous? The last time I checked, being fat didn’t had also proved that I could be confident in myself equate to being funny. My fat keeps me warm in the regardless of my weight. winter, and that’s about its only advantage. In a society that profits from self-doubt, liking On the bus ride home that afternoon, I decided to yourself is a rebellious act. I guess I’m rebellious, conduct a self-experiment. Somehow, some way, I because I love myself, regardless of my weight. And was going to lose weight; I wanted to see whether as for my experiment, the results were indisputable: others observed a difference in my humor. my weight might have had a significant bearing on After countless hours of research, I settled on the my jeans selection, on my scale, and on my underAtkins diet. I was willing to abandon carbohydrates standing of myself, but it had no effect whatsoever (roughly as torturous as living with an ex-boyfriend on my humor. ✦ you’re still in love with, I imagine) for as long as it by Jacob McCoy, Flower Mound, TX I of each other’s lives since first grade, still visit the small locker room. Noah and I were hardly friends. Of all The three aisles are still littered the boys on the team, I knew the least with Degree deodorant, Axe spray, about him. And I had no idea how he white towels, and homework packets. felt about me. I’d walked those aisles countless times, One cold morning in early Decemstepped into those showers, opened ber, in that aisle of lockers, bulky and those lockers, sat there, almost started a skinny boys were leaving the showers fight there. And then came the memwith towels around their waists. Right ories of my teammates – the rebels, then, the first filthy word spilled out of the cheats, the trash-talking guys who, Noah’s mouth, smooth as back in the day, pushed the water and unwaveringly boundaries of rules, race, and competition. The boys I had the power sincere, the way he always spoke. who filled two long, hard to change his “Damn.” years of my life with misI stopped whatever I was chief. And I was among the life, but I hadn’t doing and looked over my best of them, having broken naked shoulder. Several the weightlifting record for other boys did the same, and after the squat in eighth grade. longest moment of silence in middle A locker in the lower back corner school history (one or two whole secbore a stranger’s name now, but it used onds), a lineman said, “Don’t say that, to read NOAH. Noah was a tall, paper Noah … It’s a bad word.” thin, paper white, weird-looking boy Suddenly it dawned on me the influwho’d suffered severe bullying in this ence kids have on each other. Many of locker room and elsewhere in school. us had started cursing in sixth grade. Noah was autistic and had a stutter. He But we never thought we’d hear the was weak even with his red, C-team kindest kid we knew curse, and later football pads or his black workout insult other kids. clothes on. And in that first year he was Halfway through eighth grade, Noah subject to more verbal abuse than I have pulled me aside in the locker room and seen anyone take. In spite of being part 22 Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 told me he was moving. He said he wanted me to know first, from him. At that moment, I realized my “friendship” meant more to Noah than I thought. Suddenly I felt responsible. Responsible for him – as I should have been all this time he was looking up to me and considering me his best friend on the team. I had the power to change his life, but I hadn’t. Others hadn’t worried about the possibility that they could have a powerful impact on their peers. But me? I was Noah’s best friend in the mix of his teammates, my brothers. I felt desperately obligated. I defended him twice before my peers. These were kids who knew better but picked on Noah’s stutter, his nasal voice, his snow-white complexion. But when I confronted them, they made me out to be the unreasonable one. There was, they said, no real harm done. I shrank back with embarrassment and let the next dozen hits fall upon Noah. That COMMENT Photo by Cassandra Horness, Beaverton, OR was how impenetrable these insults were. They were hurtful jokes disguised as fun, and shame was cast over whoever opposed them. I spent most of that morning thinking about what Noah had told me, carrying it on my back like grief weighing me down. Not long after, Noah was gone, and the weirdest thing about it was we hardly noticed. That empty locker carried his name until the end of the school year. Today, as I visit our old locker room, Noah’s locker demands a long glance from me. It demands, now, this undefinable expression of love, pity, and lost innocence. ✦ ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM I by Angelina Lee, Naperville, IL I kept my own head down until I was sure the PowerPoint had changed to something else; by the end of the period I was tired and humiliated. Not all instances are like this. There was a time I was scrolling through Pinterest late at night, and the look alike of the “boy king” Pharaoh Tutankhamen came up. I stared at the young man, shot next to a head bust of his ancient doppelganger. King Tut’s sculpture was so poorly restored that half of his face was shifted upward. The signature Egyptian guyliner framed the simple eyes, and before I had realized it, I had been staring at the picture too long and could now see it wherever I looked, even if I closed my eyes. I looked up from my phone, smugly warm in my hand, and into my shadowy room. The indistinct shapes drifting around in the dark only helped found myself staring at it in the beginning of the period. As one of the first to arrive in my second-hour class, I saw it as soon as I walked through the door. There seemed to be a skull on the board. It was a skull, actually, and I told myself it didn’t bother me. At first, it didn’t. But I couldn’t stop staring at the dessicated, decapitated head that looked increasingly fleshy and rotten. It was disgusting. I couldn’t look away. All the while, my memory was working to memorize the image that was causing me so much trauma. Later in the period, the SmartBoard above the image was playing a film that our class needed to watch. I had up to use my hand to cover the skull image in order to watch. And whenever my tired arm began to sink, I would flinch as the edges of the head came into view. Autumn Beholder by Grace Dubravetz, Akron, OH M y favorite season is autumn. I especially like the mornings. The wind is nice, a cool breeze, sharp against my skin, like ice; goosebumps. I often venture into my backyard, and cutting blades of grass whip at my ankles, yet are so soft against my feet. Sticky dew clings to my heels. My favorite song is the string of notes from a bird’s beak. And the brush of leaves as the wind blows through the trees, like nature’s hand through its hair. The sun is soft against my skin. Its light dips on my face and dances on my cheeks. That makes me smile. The afternoon is just as soothing, and the evening soon follows. Dry leaves crunch under heavy boots. Blunt shrills of the zippers of freezing pedestrians echo as the sun sets and the air cools. Chirping confetti falls from the trees ’til the last breath of wind hushes the whistling creatures. I can imagine, now, the moon claiming the sky, as shy stars, eager to play, dance in the night. I can only imagine it, though. I can’t see it. I am blind. I like to envision the sunset, too, a watery canvas of warm, velvety hues. Oranges and pinks dipped in between a thin skyline of homes. A shimmer of purple and a yellowed haze; a sherbet of colors. That makes me smile too. ✦ Photo by Jessi Malley, East Longmeadow, MA FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @TEEN.INK to constrict the tight area around my chest. Fear had replaced the nutrients in my blood. I couldn’t believe what I had seen. I put the dumb phone down and ran to my mom’s room. After I breathlessly described what had happened, my mom reassured me that I was fine. I returned to my room. Surely some music would calm me down. I chose the first song on my playlist and put in earbuds. A picture of Marina Photo by Rebecca Salina, Amherst, MA and the Diamonds appeared on screen. And probably a body. And the shadows in for a moment, the singer looked just my room continued to dance. like the infamous Egyptian prince, I fled to my mom’s room again. I rich black kohl lining her eyes, her remember worrying I wouldn’t last portrait so bright that her white skin as long as it took me to run down the seemed featureless. hallway. With a gasp I quickly chose the And when I arrived, blubbering and next song and turned off my phone to incoherent, I suddenly felt enormouscancel out any visual input. I couldn’t ly humiliated. Instead of confessing breathe. The lilting guitar and vocals what had happened, I asked her to tell from my right earbud seemed familme something I could think about. iar, but something was off. The music Anything but what I was thinking seemed to be moving faster, then right then, which was scaring the entirely too fast, without any rhythm living daylights out of me. and horrifyingly out of control. Kina Later, I would look back at these Grannis and Daniela Andrade had episodes with a startling lack of emnever sounded like this pathy. What I remembered before. I usually loved and what my imagination their little acoustic duet. Fear had seemed to have conjured I ripped the piece of seemed too pathetically replaced the up plastic out of my ear and horrible to be true. began to turn round and nutrients in I didn’t know a soul on round, because a thought earth who acted like this. I had occurred to me: my blood still don’t. There is something beEvery day I am increashind me. I kept turning, ingly aware that I live with and I saw nothing, and had to turn pharaohphobia, or the fear of mumagain to make sure the same was true mies and dead humans in general. for the other side. I was convinced I thought I would feel a bit better something was going to fall on me after I wrote about my phobia a year from behind. A dead body maybe. ago. And while I would like say I’m As I spun around in my room, probchanged, I remain at the whims of ably looking as demented as I was, I the Web for peace of mind. I see a began to break down. I was furious disgusting image and am reduced to and terrified, crying tears that were pieces. And if the image itself isn’t angry and sad, but mostly furious enough, then the imagination to that I wasn’t even 18 years old and a which I owe my writing talent does writer and a musician and somebody the rest. It can stay with me for days. – somebody quiet but sometimes bold I don’t know what to do, other who mattered to her friends and famthan to stop thinking about it, but that ily, and to herself – and yet I seemed hasn’t worked. After all, my daytime to be losing it. Pinned down by an ego seems to be suffering consideroutbreak of phobia, I had become so ably less. Whenever I’m outside the sensitive that my favorite artists were kill zone, which is most of the time, making me panic. lamenting my lack of a social life I looked up, and the violin case I seems to keep me plenty busy. had been hauling to the bus stop for Fear does not control me, but three years looked like it contained a sometimes I feel like I can’t control it, body. The covers on my bed looked either. And that really scares me. ✦ like they were hiding something – O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 memoirs Heads Will Roll • Teen Ink 23 environment All Creatures Great and Small by Jacqueline Vollucci, Irvine, CA I meat industry is deceptive. Some factory magine you are stolen from your mother at birth, farms claim their animals, and specifloaded onto a truck, and driven to a filthy, dark ically their chickens, are “free range.” warehouse. In this place you are stuffed into a So, you might picture chickens roaming tiny metal crate where you can hardly move while in green fields. That is exactly what you are fattened up with oats, corn, and hormones. they want consumers to think so they You never see the outdoors or have the freedom to experience natural behaviors; therefore your feel good about their purchase. Unfortuphysical and mental health is poor. Those charge of nately, the label “free range” most often the facility abuse you. Then, after a few years of this means that while the chickens are not torture, you are hung upside down, fully conscious, kept in cages, they are packed togethscreaming in fear. Your throat is slit, and your blood er in warehouses so tightly they can drains out. This is the life and death of a cow in a barely spread their wings, often trample factory farm. each other to death, and rarely see the Over the past 25 years, factory farms have been outdoors. growing. Small farms have transformed into large When animals are confined in industrialized factories where raising unnatural enclosures and killing animals has become that do not allow them Photo by Savannah Whitney, Joliet, MT faster and more efficient, designed to participate in instinctive In factory farms produce the biggest profit possibehaviors and interact for 18 percent of our greenhouse gases, which is ble. Factory farms, however, have others, they expeanimals are treated with more than the exhaust produced by the transportaenormous drawbacks, including rience extreme stress. Pigs suffer tion industry, according to the U.S. Food and Agriinhumane treatment of animals, risks as nothing more horribly in factory farms. “Each culture Organization. Livestock and its byproducts to public health, and abuses of the year millions of pregnant sows are than a product account for 32 billion tons of carbon dioxide (CO2) environment. kept in cages that are referred to as per year, according to the Worldwatch Institute. In Most people are unaware of what ‘gestation crates.’ These crates are a addition, agriculture uses 80 to 90 percent of our goes on in factory farms. We don’t cost cutting measure that keeps the water consumption, according to research by the like to think about how food gets onto our plate; it pregnant pigs immobilized,” writes Alanna Ketler in U.S. Department of Agriculture. would detract from our eating enjoyment. Howev“Collective Evolution.” This practice is so inhumane People are so concerned with decreasing their er, it is everyone’s responsibility to understand the that it is banned in countries including the United ecological footprint and reducing the amount of journey of the food we eat and its impacts. Kingdom and Sweden. water they waste, but what they fail to understand is In factory farms, animals are taken away from Why are factory farms so widespread? The reason that the meat and dairy products they are buying are their mothers at birth. They are packed into small is simple: their massive profits. These farms can the main cause of damage to the environment. The cages and bodily abused. Meat and dairy from cows produce food at a much faster rate, which increases numbers vary widely, but it is well documented that makes up a huge percentage of the American diet; profits and makes food more inexpensive for the beef requires a huge amount of water to produce: more than 29 million are slaughtered every year in consumer, driving demand and sales. By confining between 442 gallons and 8,000 gallons for just one the United States. In factory farms, cows face many animals to small spaces, factory farms are able to pound of meat. abuses, for example, “when still very young, many utilize space cost-effectively. Furthermore with the These numbers are almost as depressing as the cows are branded (burned with hot irons), dehorned growth of factory farms it takes less time for food images of animals inhumanely caged. But what (their horns are cut or burned off), and castrated .... – to be ready for market. These facilities are efficient can you – a single consumer – do to change that? all without painkillers,” according to People for the because they operate with minimal manual labor. In fact, it’s quite easy to decrease your ecological Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), an organiFactory farms, besides being inhumane, also pose footprint. Eating a plant-based diet for just one day zation that advocates for animal rights. This daily threats to public health. Due to the unclean living will save “1,100 gallons of water, 45 pounds of cruelty is unnecessary and immoral – done only conditions and the high stress of animals, disease is grain, 30 square feet of forested land, 20 pounds to increase profits at the expense of the animals. rampant and easily transmitted in these close quarCO2 equivalent, and one animal’s life,” Animals are treated not as living beings, but rather ters. As a consequence, meat and eggs according to the documentary “Cowas nothing more than products for profit. can become contaminated, endangerConscientious meat eaters may seek humane ing our health and food supply. The The USDA allows spiracy.” As for improving the welfare of meat and dairy animals, it’s simple: alternatives to factory-farmed meat and dairy, but spread of disease is increased because diseased animals don’t buy meat and dairy raised in facit’s important to read labels carefully because the these farms use the dead animals into tory farms. Instead buy from farmer’s food for the animals. This practice to be sold for markets, meat CSAs, and alternative makes sense for their bottom line, grocery stores that responsibly research human food saving money for disposal costs and the sources of their products (such as feeding costs simultaneously. Whole Foods). However, it is the consumers who Factory farms are a universal problem that has pay the real price for this unsanitary practice. Each negative effects on animals, public health, and the year, on average, one in six Americans – 48 million earth. It is our job as responsible individuals and people – are sickened by a food-borne illness, and stand up for all creatures, great and small, and stop 3,000 of them die, according to the Centers for Disthe mistreatment of animals. Quality of life should ease Control. In large part, these outbreaks are prealways come before the value of money. ✦ ventable and could be stopped by improving health standards. However, shockingly, the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) “explicitly allows diseased animals to be slaughtered and sold for human food, because excluding these animals would What environmental issue result in financial losses for agribusiness,” writes is most important to you? Gene Baur in the article “Factory Farming Is Not the Best We Have to Offer.” Sadly, the costs of factory farming don’t end there. Factory farms are the leading contributor to TeenInk.com/Submit global warming, water depletion, deforestation, and species extinction. These practices are responsible Submit an essay! Photo by Megan Brawner, Ledyard, CT 24 Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM U N I V E R S I T Y by Alexa Kravitz, Parkland, FL New Orleans, LA: At the mention of in 1847. In 1884, Paul Tulane donated the city of New Orleans, one’s mind real estate for the support of educacan’t help but picture the tragedies tion, creating the Tulane University of that occurred there 10 years ago. Louisiana and privatizing the school. Hurricane Katrina was one of the five Located in uptown New Orleans deadliest hurricanes in the history of opposite Audubon Park, the campus is the United States, in which hundreds embellished with huge oak trees (one of thousands of people were left withholds a surplus of Mardi Gras beads), out homes or jobs and almost 1,250 lush green grass characterizing the people died. In the face of calamity, school’s “Green Wave” nickname, though, the people of New Orleans and over 100 buildings in a gumbo were resilient – a quality pot of styles. that has allowed the peoI expected the campus ple and the culture of the tour to go just as any Truly a region to rise from the other I had endured: a rubble and rebuild. slideshow on university like PowerPoint I touched down in the school’s 30 percent New Orleans with acceptance rate, 3.49 GPA, no other expectations of jazz 1870-2130 SAT range, music, crawfish, and and #41 spot in US News’ Mardi Gras beads. I had ranking of 2016 Best Colheard of the magical allure of the city, leges. Then a Q&A session revealing the colorful charm, the melange of the school’s 9:1 student-faculty ratio, people moving at all hours of the day 65 percent enrollment of out-of-state and night, the “there truly is no other students, undergraduate population place like New Orleans …” all of the of 6,750, and 16 NCAA Division I things that need to be experienced varsity teams. Finally, a tour of the firsthand to fully understand. university’s 110 acres, 92 buildings After my family and I arrived in – including the School of Medicine, downtown New Orleans and dropped School of Public Health, and School off our bags in the hotel, we headed of Social Work, and a top-tier teachto the madness that is Bourbon Street ing Medical Center located just 12 for a taste of what was to come. Just a minutes from campus. quick right from the iconic St. Louis Instead of the run-of-the-mill tour, Cathedral, one will undoubtedly be I was pleasantly surprised to learn overwhelmed by all of Bourbon’s about the school’s Service-Dog Trainsights and sounds. With seedy palm ing and Education Program, which readers and voodoo shops, interacallows students to raise and train tive street performers, and even a puppies, a real plus for aspiring veter70-year-old woman dressed as Santa inarians like me, the school’s multiple Claus blasting rap music on a bicycle, festivals, such as Mardi Gras, Jazz Bourbon Street is what would result Fest, French Quarter Fest, Barkus if Times Square and Las Vegas had (a dog costume parade), Po-Boy a baby and then fed it Cajun food. Festival, and Crawfest. Tulane is one Though Mardi Gras was months of the most geographically diverse earlier, rowdy hotel guests stood on universities in the nation. Thirty-three balconies flinging brightly colored percent of students receive non-needbeads onto unsuspecting pedestrians based financial aid. below, while beads that missed their Another draw is the 200-plus targets lay draped across rooftops and student organizations, such as scaffoldings. Dumbledore’s Army of Tulane, whose Jazz bands in each bar seemed to description reads, “The purpose shall engage in an unspoken battle for the be to enjoy Harry Potter as thoroughtitle of loudest, while iconic restauly as possible.” There’s also Tulane rants basked in the alluring insanity of University Pre-Veterinary Society, Bourbon Street. Although many New Humans vs. Zombies, the Slam Poetry Orleanians and local college students Team, Student Government, religious claim that they avoid Bourbon Street, clubs, and many more. I returned four more times during Tulane is truly a university like no my short visit. New Orleans without other, and its unmatched nature is Bourbon Street would be as incomonly magnified by the distinctiveness plete as Paris without the Eiffel Towof the city of New Orleans. From er; a visit would feel empty without it. countless beignet trips to Café Du The next morning, a short trip on Monde, a jazz show at the historical the St. Charles Avenue Streetcar Line Preservation Hall, photo-ops at the St. later, we arrived at Tulane University. Louis Cathedral and the “American It was founded in 1834 as the public Horror Story: Coven” mansion, a Medical College of Louisiana, the tailgate at the Tulane vs. Tulsa footsecond medical school in the South ball game, a sightseeing bicycle tour and the 15th in the United States. through the city’s historic neighborThe state legislature established the hoods, a ridiculous amount of good school as the University of Louisiana food, and so much more, it only took FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @TEEN.INK me three days to fall in love with this city. I can promise with utmost confidence that I will be back. In a time when neighborhoods across the city were quite literally being uprooted and dispersed, leaving behind little to nothing, New Orleanians uncovered a hidden blessing disguised in all of the tragedy. Hurricane Katrina rid communities of what would otherwise senselessly separate its people – the size of one’s house, the price of one’s car, the manicuring of one’s lawn – and instead revealed the connection that the people of New Orleans share. Hurricane Katrina revealed the true jambalaya of cultures that knit this city together, laced with a pride that prospered despite all of the devastation. This is the city that I, along with thousands of others, continue to visit, fall in love with, and long to return to. Learn more at tulane.edu. ✦ college reviews Tulane Art by Brenna Costello, Louisville, CO Drexel U N I V E R S I T Y Philadelphia: Located in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Drexel has a 96-acre campus and an amazing student-faculty ratio of 9:1. The population is mid-sized, with approximately 14,000 students. Drexel has 15 schools, including education, engineering, law, and medicine. There are over 80 full-time majors, and the study abroad program gives students the chance to explore 10 countries. Campus residency is mandatory unless you’re a first-year student living with your parents; dorm life is a big part of the college experience. Each residence hall has its own layout and themes. The cafeteria is all-you-can-eat and contains third-party cafés such as Starbucks and Creese Café. You don’t need to leave campus to get a coffee, which is an advantage during the snowy winter An experience months. With the campus conveniently situated in an urban of a lifetime setting, there are many dining and shopping places nearby. There are also museums if you have free time and are interested in learning outside the classrooms. Bus stops at almost every block mean transportation is not an issue. Life at Drexel is exciting since there’s always something going on. The cost of attendance is roughly $67,400 (including room and board, tuition and fees, books and supplies, and other expenses), but the top-notch education and the city life are well worth it. Attending Drexel is an experience of a lifetime; there are many people to meet, places to see, and fun things to explore. You won’t regret it. Find out more at drexel.edu. ✦ by Toni Nix, Newport, NH O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 25 travel & culture 26 Finding My Story I by Sofia Friedman Sausalito, CA t is 2008. A young girl with a colorful candies. She sits on a cliff in perfectly pink outfit and a Dora the Judean Desert alone, listening to haircut steps off the plane. Whinnothing but the songs of birds and the ing about the heat, she yanks on her blowing of the wind, and struggling father’s sleeve as they enter the arrivwith herself in the very place that als hall at Ben Gurion Airport in Tel her ancestors did thousands of years Aviv, Israel. Minutes feel like hours before her. She sees the country shut at baggage claim. She and her sister down before her eyes in observance of grow restless, and a tantrum begins. the Sabbath, attends a prayer service, Just in time, their father collects the and lets the words of the Torah warm luggage and hails a cab. her heart and fill her soul. She has The girl gets her first glimpse of never felt so happy and inspired. the country. Green trees, glistening But this amazement is too good Jerusalem stone buildings, and warm to be true, she soon learns, comsunshine roll by the cab window. At a ing to recognize an enigmatic and red light, she sees a girl about her age unforeseen struggle. She plays at a walking hand in hand with four sibpark where every structure doubles lings. Behind them walks a beautiful as a bomb shelter. The thought of a woman with a head covfear-stricken child running ering and a baby nestled for cover during what was in her arms, and a man supposed to be a fun day at She sits in the the playground makes her with a full beard, suit, and tall top hat. The girl Judean Desert, heart ache. Before rafting watches as the family on the Jordan River, she lislistening enters a synagogue with tens anxiously as her guide smiles on their faces and warns the group against G-d in their hearts. provoking those of differFive years later, the same girl steps ent heritage who line the banks at off a plane; she is a bit taller and every turn. A pit of fear grows in her sports a long ponytail that is messy stomach as these people throw water from the 14-hour flight. Her T-shirt and words at her small boat, as if to is identical to the ones the 60 kids defend their streamside territory. She around her wear. Butterflies fill her tucks her Star of David necklace into stomach as she enters the same arrivher shirt, naively hoping it can protect als hall. This time, teachers replace her. The words of Matisyahu’s “One parents and anxiety replaces curiosity. Day” echo in her mind as she prays As she peruses the hills, shops, and for the day when peace will prevail. streets with classmates over the next She feels pain in her empty stomtwo weeks, she takes careful stock of ach as she fasts in honor of Tisha the citizens. She spends a night in the B’Av, remembering the destruction of desert with Bedouins, drinking tea, the Second Temple. She sees the tears eating meals on the ground, singin her counselor’s eyes as he tells the ing and dancing beneath a colorful story of how he watched his friend die tent, with the vast Judean desert as a in a bombing, then risked his own life backdrop. This is their purpose, their to recover his friend’s body. country, and their story. She speaks with a sobbing mother In Jerusalem, she notices a woman at Israel’s most respected cemetery. roaming the streets in a navy green It is her son’s birthday, and she sits at uniform, a machine gun strapped to his gravesite asking why a knife had her chest, and a contagious grin on to penetrate his heart. The girl holds a her face. The girl asks for a photo, rocket in her arms, an object created pleasantly surprised by the soldier’s for the sole purpose of terrorizing warmth. As she walks away, the girl those like her, but one that was thankis awed by the soldier’s sense of fully stopped by the Iron Dome. purpose, her dedication to her country She goes to the country’s Holocaust and her story. The girl vows to some museum and sees a cattle car used to day find a story of her own. carry Jews to their death, stands by Three more years pass. Once again, a pile of shoes from those gassed at she steps off the plane, now a young Majdanek, touches the rough wood woman. She is filled with overwhelmof an Auschwitz bunk bed. Finally, ing excitement that surprises even she goes to the Western Wall, her reliher; a deep hunger for learning and gion’s holiest site. She walks through belonging penetrate her core. She is swarms of women to press her hands, on a quest to find her story. forehead, and finally lips to the warm She floats in the Dead Sea and Jerusalem stone that has been softfeels the oily water sting and soothe ened by the billions who have begged her skin. She explores the windy for the wall’s assistance. She weeps maze that is Old Jerusalem, buys and smiles, and with G-d all around cheap T-shirts, inhales the delicious her, she finally understands the parasmell of freshly baked challah, and dox of this country, the beauty and the gets hypnotized by the cornucopia of pain, the hope and the struggle. Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 But alas, her six-week daydream comes to a close. She is going home but also leaving home. She arms herself with story after story after fact, not at all ready but forced to defend herself against those who will tell her she should not exist, her country should not exist. And in this moment, she finds something: a purpose, a home, and a story. And this time, it is not that of the Orthodox family, the soldier, the Bedouin. This time, it is all hers. ✦ Baggage I’m 7, and In my lunchbox, my mom has packed me kimbap. My eyes widen as I take it out, each roll like a vibrant full moon – Flaky black seaweed and white rice, wrapped around colorful carrots and egg and fishcake. The kids crowd around me as I take out my chopsticks. They say, “That smells gross. Are you eating dog?” My mouth dries up. I don’t want to eat anymore. 66 years ago, My grandmother is also 7, and In a small North Korean household, there is no backpack, no lunchbox. Instead, she reaches into a tattered knapsack, Searching for any food she might have missed, anything, The bag is empty. And with war on the horizon, With smoke billowing from nearby villages, with the Reds looming over their every move, It is likely, she knows, that this knapsack won’t be full any time soon. I’m 11, and We learn about the Korean War in school. It’s funny – when you’re a kid, There’s always got to be a “good guy” and a “bad guy.” So when I raise my hand And tell the class That my great grandparents had once worked for the North Korean government, I suppose I had to be the bad guy. The next day, someone scrawled obscenities all over my locker. I blink back tears and reach into my backpack, Take out some tissues and start to scrub. 62 years ago, My grandmother is also 11, and She fumbles as she reaches into her bag to find her ticket, Her hand trembling as she holds it out for inspection. She boards the boat and stares into the ocean. It is gray and silent and cold, much like the hum of her own heart. She doesn’t dare turn back. She doesn’t want to see the smoke anymore. The boat drifts off in silence. The long journey to Seoul begins. Today I’m 15, and Whenever I tell people about my family’s history, Whenever I empty out this bag I carry, full of stories, of struggles, of a pilgrimage across an ocean, All they can say is, “You’re North Korean?” No, I say. I was born in Chicago. But – My North Korean family, my North Korean heritage, my North Korean blood, That is who I am. That is what I’m carrying. So I close my bag. 58 years ago, my grandmother closes hers. We hoist them onto our shoulders and keep walking. And although sometimes it is heavy, sometimes it is inconvenient, Sometimes it feels like it is carrying the world, We refuse to be ashamed of our baggage. by Isabel Lee, Vernon Hills, IL COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM art gallery Photo by Gabrielle Fernandez, North Port, FL Photo by Maeve McVeigh, Sparta, NJ Art by Sydney Ghoreishi, Valparaiso, IN Photo by Abhik Saha Chowdhury, Howrah, India View more amazing teen art on Instagram … Follow us @teen.ink! Art by Kian McKeown, New York, NY Art by Samuel Hoskins, Salem, OR Art by Pam Best, Greenlawn, NY Photo by Amanda Wall, Monroe, CT O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 27 tv reviews EDUCATIONAL Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey T he odds were stacked against it. In a world where reality television permeates the airwaves, and in a format so heavily contesting the popular opinions of Americans, “Cosmos,” was green-lit. Under the funding of “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane and the brilliance of author/astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson, one of the most unlikely shows came to be, or rather, be again. The original “Cosmos” was a 13-episode miniseries produced in the late 1970s by physicist Carl Sagan. The show’s goal was to instill wonder about science into the hearts of viewers. The format was simple: each episode introduced a scientific or philosophical concept such as “Who Speaks for the Earth?” and explored how people viewed this concept through history – whether spiritually, scientifically or otherwise– and what answers modern science has given us. Sagan introduced the concept of a “Spaceship of the Imagination” – a literal spaceship he is inside for the majority of each episode. The spaceship could go anywhere, be any size, and was shaped like a dandelion seed. It represented mankind’s desire, through- Clearly, the creators of “A Spaceout history, to explore the world, the time Odyssey” followed the original lengths taken for knowledge, and to a T. How fitting is it then, that the how easily we can achieve this now new narrator would be Neil DeGrasse by comparison. To say the original Tyson? In his youth, Tyson submitted a “Cosmos” was successful would be an résumé to Sagan based on his interests understatement. It won two Emmys in astronomy and physics, spawned by and a Peabody Award, has 500 million Sagan’s show. Sagan, so impressed that unique views, and was called “a watera 17-year-old would follow his work so shed moment for science-themed TV closely, replied, asking to meet Tyson. programming” by The New York Times. In one episode of “A Spacetime OdysThat is a lot to live up to. So how does sey,” Tyson describes “A Spacetime Odyssey” meeting his hero, and fare? genuinely gets tearyWell, if nothing eyed. else, “A Spacetime In “Cosmos,” Tyson’s Odyssey” follows the soothing voice and format of the original charismatic characseries. Each of the 13 ter guide the viewer episodes addresses a through history and different science topic. Animation is used to It had to be perfect spacetime to explain our world. He is careful show how scientists and never to discount an inphilosophers explained correct idea in history, because he wants phenomena, or how they failed to. The viewers to realize that people didn’t idea of a Spaceship of the Imagination have the resources we do now. is used here too, and through beautiful Certainly, “A Spacetime Odyssey” CGI it travels through space, time, and is an incredibly well produced and dimensions to aid the narrative. The thoughtful show, but it had to be. While effects are incredible and instill the same wonder that Sagan tried so hard to many praised the show’s narrative, beauty, wit, and engagement, it must be achieve in his original series. by Ryan Oboryshko, Hockessin, DE HORROR ANIME Rampo Kitan: Game of Laplace Tokyo Ghoul “R I standable, I felt that I would do the same in their ampo Kitan: Game of Laplace” felt very circumstances. It was hard to decide who to root unique to me, though I’m not that familiar for. with the horror-mystery genre. This series is based The voice acting is hands down amazing. The on several books by Edogawa Rampo (known as voices fit their characters perfectly, and the actors the Edgar Allen Poe of Japan), most notably The express joy, grief, desperation, and insanity very Human Chair, The Fiend With Twenty Faces, and believably. Strange Tale of Panorama Island. The art is incredibly gorgeous, from the charIn the first episode we meet two middle school acters’ eyes to the horrifying mannequins littering boys, Kobayashi and his friend Hashiba, who Panorama Island. The terrifying join forces with Kogoro Akechi, parts are even more torturous a 17-year-old genius detective, because of all the detail. There is to solve crimes. In the episode so much symbolism in the images “Twenty Faces,” the boys devise a as well. plan to catch a vigilante killer. The One drawback of the show is story is intriguing and surprisingly that the pacing can seem strange dark. A lot of symbolism doesn’t at times. Some crimes span make sense at the beginning, but two episodes, while others are once the series reaches its midpoint, Based on books by resolved in half an episode. And the tragic and emotional meaning is revealed. The plot is creative the “Poe of Japan” while events after the big reveal near the end seem a little rushed, I and flows well. There are no filler enjoyed the results. episodes; each helps explain and push the story This series is excellent; I laughed, I sobbed, forward. And while some aspects of the plot are I ranted at the TV in anger, then I sobbed some unrealistic, they’re executed in a way that makes more. I have rewatched certain episodes over and you believe they could actually happen. over, and they never fail to stir my emotions. It’s All the characters are unique and terrifying in even more enjoyable the second time, because you their own ways. From major to minor, they each notice new aspects and understand even more of have individual quirks and are very well develthe symbolism. oped and easy to get attached to. Even though This series is an emotional roller coaster, and I most commit horrendous crimes, the writers make loved it. I give it a 10/10. ) it hard to hate them. I cried several times for the “villains” because their motives were so underby Justine Hightower, Flower Mound, TX 28 mentioned which network hosted it – Fox, which is considered the most conservative network on television. Many Christians were upset that the show had an episode that detailed the work and persecution by the Catholic church, of Giordano Bruno. Bruno developed the idea that Earth revolved around the sun, contrary to ideas presented in the Bible. For this, he was burned at the stake by the church. To even get the show to be considered by Fox, Seth MacFarlane’s funding and support was crucial. MacFarlane is an advocate for the public knowledge of science; he stated that this project was personal for him, since he was inspired by the original “Cosmos” in his youth. He and Ann Druyan, Sagan’s widow, worked tirelessly to promote the show. So, you see, “A Spacetime Odyssey” had to be good. To be anything less than perfect would give opposition to the show enough power to cancel it. Additionally, it had to be perfect since it was created by individuals with strong emotional connections to Sagan and the original, and they wanted to preserve its excellence. Fortunately for us, against all odds “Cosmos” came to be. ) Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 f you are looking for good anime with a bit of blood, gore, and drama all mixed together, “Tokyo Ghoul” from Funimation (“You should be watching!”) is for you. Based on the manga series by Sui Ishida, the animated show (which has two seasons and a third on the way) is considered a dark fantasy series. When a young man becomes a legend, he has to figure out how he fits into the world. Is he a ghoul? No, and the ghouls he meets are quick to tell him so. Is he human anymore? His desire to eat flesh seems to point to no as well. I had avoided this series because of how bloody I heard it was. But the gore wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought. I like that the series sticks to the original plot and includes relatable issues (which sounds hard to believe based on the premise of murderous, flesh-eating monsters). I was Is he a ghoul pleasantly surprised. One of my favorite parts is how or human? each of the character has a flaw or dilemma that I wanted to explore more. The main character, Ken Kaneki, has a problem figuring out where he stands in the world; this impacts his relationships, which, in turn, brings out interesting qualities in other characters. These characters are also interesting and relatable, even if they aren’t all human. “Tokyo Ghoul” can be found on Amazon for a reasonable price. Although I loved this series, there are some disturbing scenes, so I do not recommend it for younger viewers or those who are squeamish. But, if you are looking for something a bit out of your comfort zone or some dark fantasy, I suggest “Tokyo Ghoul”! ) by Amanda Marcus, Landing, NJ COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM HORROR Evil Dead It T I his film’s tag line is “the most terrinot mix. At all. fying film you will ever experience.” I am not here to glorify violence. All It’s weird how accurate that is. “Evil I’m saying is that the violence in this Dead” is the 2013 horror remake directfilm made it a much better, more intense ed by Fede Alvarez, starring non-big viewing experience, especially since the names like Jane Levy and Shiloh Fernan- rest of the film isn’t perfect. dez. Levy plays an innocent girl named The lead actors aren’t great, but they Mia. And by innocent, I mean hardcore serve their purpose as cannon fodder that drug addict. Her brother, David (Fernan- we’ve come to watch die. We don’t care dez), brings her and some friends to a enough to hear their back stories. Jokes rickety cabin in the woods so aside, this film contains Mia can detox. But, like any some pretty scarring images good horror movie, they find that may stay with you long a book that releases a demon after the film is over. If you that terrorizes the young tend to get queasy or are senadults in the most brutal sitive to violence, this movie fashion. Now, apart from rare will not be your cup of tea. gems like “The Ring,” horror As amazingly graphic as remakes tend to be terrible. “Evil Dead” is, it’s not as This, however, is another scary as it could have been. example of a pretty good A lot of scenes shown in remake of a horror classic. the trailer weren’t in the Pretty good film. Also, we really don’t The imagery in this movie is incredibly disturbing. care about the main characremake While not super spooky or ters. They aren’t developed scary, there are some scenes enough, and the dialogue is where the setup is scarier than the sometimes terrible. Some of it is chillpayoff. The environment itself is even ing, but other lines are really clichéd and spooky; the producers used dark lighting delivered with too much cheese. and sinister designs for things like the In the end, “Evil Dead” does what book, the basement they find the book, it set out to do in a gruesome fashion. and the forest. While not super scary, it is truly disturbIn addition, this film is horrifyingly ing, dark, and a good example of a really graphic. When you see a father aim a good horror remake. ) shotgun at his possessed daughter’s head by Ayinde Roberts, and then see her face explode, you know Owings Mills, MD what kind of ride you’re in for. And it only gets worse. Spoiler alert: demoniThis film is rated R. cally possessed people and nail guns do FANTASY/ADVENTURE A Series of Unfortunate Events I magine you are alone when a smiley, happy clown appears. The clown hides itself and reappears with a frown. The clown is moving closer and closer … then it isn’t a clown anymore. It’s a demon. Based on the book by Stephen King, “It” is a horrific creature truly worthy of nightmares. This is a great movie for those who like suspenseful, scary, and realistic terrors, but also for people who like make-believe characters. Made in 1990, this two-part miniseries was directed by Tommy Lee Wallace and stars Tim Curry. The premise is a demon that takes the form of a clown and feeds on children. The plot focuses on five children: Mike (Tim Reid), Bill (Richard Thomas), Ben (John Ritter), Eddie (Dennis Christopher), and Beverly (Annette O’ Toole). They form a group called the “losers club” and face the demon Pennywise the Dancing Clown. The story takes place in Derry, Maine, in 1960. Although now more than 25 years old, the graphics are quite good. It includes graphic scenes of oozing blood and gore. There are disturbing scenes where Pennywise turns into a giant hairy spider, a vicious werewolf, and is revealed in his clown form to have fanged teeth. Suspenseful, People who like getting goosebumps will enjoy Pennywise’s ability to change forms. Anothscary er thing to keep in mind is that the technical elements are not as advanced as today’s. However, the special effects involving torrents of fake blood and lighting were high tech for that time. Overall, “It” is an enjoyable movie. It has realistic situations, like Pennywise enticing the kids with balloons and toys, but also has many flaws. For example, in one part, a little girl is looking into the camera and frowning when she sees Pennywise. Today, you don’t usually see characters look into the camera. Also, scary background music plays in certain scenes, which takes away from the bone-chilling experience, making it feel cheesy and clichéd. Stephen King’s “It” is good for anybody who likes horror movies. It will definitely keep you on the edge of your seat. ) movie reviews HORROR by Katherine Wolfe, Lewes, DE This film is rated R. Can you caption this cartoon? in the care of Mr. Poe (Timothy Spall) of t is rare to hear a voice within a movie advise you not Mulctuary Money Management. Though to watch that movie. Logically, deceiving the audience the banker means well, the Beaudelaire with a happy little elf giggling and frolicking through a children would have been better off with a tiny village of singing flowers and critters, then stopping jar of mustard as a temporary guardian. Mr. the scene to apologize for the wrong movie is only going Poe spends more time coughto make people turn to the person next to them ing into his handkerchief than with smirks on their faces, right? Especially if speaking to the orphans. And the audience is then forewarned that the movie he easily falls for a greedy and they are about to watch is extremely unpleasant. despicable plot by Count Olaf The audience is then introduced to three (Jim Carrey) to take custody of children recently orphaned due to a terrible fire. the Beaudelaires and steal their After all this, the viewers are told that there fortune. are probably still seats available in Theater #2. I typically don’t enjoy movies By this point, you might infer that Theater #1 that are sad. And it’s true that has cleared out. Maybe in some cases it would, Illustration by Haley Welliver, Seattle, WA the three Beaudelaires enbut when the audience is told this by Lemony counter nothing but a series of Snicket (voiced by Jude Law), it only peaks $50 PRIZE FOR THE WINNING ENTRY! unfortunate events. But in the their curiosity. 5/5 for Go to TeenInk.com to submit your caption end, though what lay ahead for Based on Lemony Snicket’s first three A Series of Unfortunate Events novels (The Bad uniqueness the Beaudelaires may be unclear, Winner randomly chosen from the entries they are reminded that as long as Beginning, The Reptile Room, and The Wide they have each other, they have a family. Window), this film follows the miserable lives of siblings Violet (Emily Browning), Klaus (Liam Aiken), and Sunny I think that little piece of assurance ignite not to watch it, yet still draws you in. I would recommend Beaudelaire (Kara and Shelby Hoffman) as their lives are a glimmer of hope in the three orphans, and thus give the this to anyone willing to go on a bit of an adventure to find movie’s mood a lift. forever changed for the worse. goodness during bad times. ) I give this film five out of five stars for uniqueness. It’s After their parents are killed in a mysterious fire that by Katherine Teets, Okeana, OH not every day that you see a film that literally advises you destroys their home, the children are temporarily placed FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @TEEN.INK O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 29 music reviews ROCK ELECTROPOP Milk and Honey • John Lennon This Is Acting • Sia J S ohn Lennon is a name that will always be etched into the hearts of millions, young and old, across the globe – and rightfully so. His musical prowess was obvious during his lifetime, but is there proof that his legacy continued after his assassination in 1980? The artist’s posthumous album, “Milk and Honey,” suggests so. After his death, Lennon’s wife, Yoko Ono, spent three years finishing the album. Released in 1984, it peaked on the U.K., Swedish, and Japanese charts at number three. Lennon was known for being a poetic disaster; speaking his mind and encouraging others to do the same through “bed-ins” and controversial interviews. He spoke to listeners through raspy, tight vocals and lyrics that almost always revolved around two themes: love and society. Ono and Lennon each have six songs on the album, taking turns sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings. Ono has her own unique way of singing … or howling. Her tracks gave the album an authentic Asian twist that few listeners cared for. Ono’s relationship with Lennon always sparked criticism, but by the time this album was released, most fans tolerated it. The first time I heard a song off “Milk and Honey,” I was sitting in my room under the ever-so-cliché fairy lights, listening to Spotify’s Legendary “John Lennon Radio” station. The song was “Nobody Told Me,” perhaps the best known from the album. The single was incomplete when he died and was originally recorded for former band mate Ringo Starr. Like most of Lennon’s lyrics, the words seem a bit nonsensical at first, but the more I listened, the more I understood. The line “Nobody told me there’d be days like these. Strange days indeed; most peculiar, mama,” is in contrast to the saying “My mother told me there’d be days like this.” With the exception of some nearly incoherent parts by Ono, the album is a legendary Lennon work. I find myself playing the vinyl record often, letting my mind take its own path for the 36 minutes. I fell in love with it the first second I heard a note, and I continue to fall in love with everything written and sung by Lennon – no matter how many times I’ve heard them. He had a way of getting you to shut up and pay attention, all while remaining charming during his gentle yet aggressive rants that he put to a tune and sung his heart out to. ) by Kate Fortenberry, Easley, SC INDIE ROCK Smoke and Mirrors • Imagine Dragons P opular music today typically extols the joys of love, challenges of relationships, and agony of heartbreak. Many songs deserve airtime, but the themes are overused. While listening to the band Imagine Dragons, my objections to common lyric choices were refuted. It quickly struck me that lead singer Dan Reynolds wasn’t groaning over his latest girlfriend. Instead he reminisced about personal trials and the demons he faced. This alternative approach was quite refreshing, and I started paying attention. At the final concert of their “Night Visions” tour, Imagine Dragons announced that they were going to hit the studio and create a second album. I was stoked! It did not disappoint. “Smoke and Mirrors” takes the theme of personal struggles and combines it flawlessly with engaging rhythms. There are no unnecessary words or overdone guitar solos – just simple songs expertly executed. Most have a driving pulse, and I constantly find myself tapping my fingers and feet. “Smoke and Mirrors” starts with “Shots,” an upbeat, energizing song that captures the listener’s attention. A personal favorite, “Polaroid,” has a train-like beat while the singer talks about being a freight train out of control. Another great song is “Dream,” an eerie piece with a steady piano riff. The coolest part is that the music flows like a dream: quiet action at the beginning, building melodies until the final chorus of Packed with meaning the dream, and a fading out as the song ends. Throughout the album, the music doesn’t overpower the vocals, or vice versa. Instead, they build off each other and make the experience exponentially better. I absolutely recommend purchasing “Smoke and Mirrors” because it is packed with meaning. With its deep, personal stories, invigorating rhythms, and alluring melodies, “Smoke and Mirrors” will captivate and thrill you. ) ia is no stranger to the music Sia’s voice wears just a tad thin, but scene. Having written chart-topthis adds a sense of realism, as well as pers from Rihanna’s “Diamonds” to amplifies the song’s raw beauty. Beyoncé’s “Pretty Hurts” to three “Reaper” is my favorite. Sia sings, songs in the movie adaptation of the “So come back when I’m good and musical “Annie,” the Australian singold/I got drinks to drink and men to er-songwriter has proven that penning hold/I got good things to do with my lyrics is not a challenge, regardless life.” It fits in flawlessly in an album of musical style. And she certainly that extols the individual overcomsucceeds with the electropop genre in ing negativity to realize all the voids her seventh album, “This Is Acting.” inside her are actually cosmos. The One of the most iconic aspects of minimal, steady beat is a plus, as it Sia is the way she deliberately hides allows the listener to focus on Sia’s from the public eye. Even during perincredible vocals. formances on “Ellen” and interviews One track that must be noted is with “Nightline,” she hides behind the “One Million Bullets.” It’s the only long, straight bangs of a wig, which song Sia wrote without another artist often confuses audiences. But the in mind. Her strong, soaring voice reason she prefers this obscurity is is the dominant element in all of her simple and unfamiliar to most stars: songs, and especially this one. It starts she wants to avoid the spotlight. softly with a lulling beat but gradually When asked about it, Sia confessed, fades to emphasize her voice. The “[The spotlight’s] ugly. It makes me song examines the conflict of what feel hunted.” feels right in the “This Is Acting” is moment versus what a unique compilation feels right in the end. of rejected songs Sia Although the chorus wrote for other artists. is a cliché (“I’d take She did not write one million bullets”), them with herself in there is so much pasmind – except for one sion, your heart aches – so she never had along with hers. to worry whether the Unfortunately, lyrics were something tracks like “Move she would actually Your Body” and say. This is the founLyrically and vocally “Sweet Design” bring dation of the title; she the album down. heartfelt must act out the stoThese definitely ries that go with the should have remained songs. Regardless, Sia sings with such rejects. Originally written for divas passion and emotion, it is impossible like Shakira and Jennifer Lopez, the to categorize her as anything other suggestive, bold lyrics and fast beat than bona fide. don’t work for Sia. Her voice is better The 12-track album opens with suited for soulful ballads, not ditsy “Bird Set Free.” Sia’s voice is absodance songs. lutely gorgeous, complemented with One of the greatest aspects of “This a catchy drum beat. In typical Sia Is Acting” is that none of the tracks fashion, the lyrics are thoughtful and are reminiscent of the mainstream pop charged with emotion and evocative songs we are so used to and tired of. metaphors. She confesses, “There’s a Sia doesn’t dwell on topics countless scream inside that we all try to hide/ other artists wallow in: love and sex. Oh, it eats us alive.” The message is Her challenges are humble ones that relatable, and the emotions run deep. everyone can relate to: finding bravery Originally written for Adele, it’s clear and the things in life worth living for. Sia drew on her own experiences with The album includes just the right drug and alcohol addiction, as well as amount of diversity – brilliant enough bipolar disorder. However, she got so- to satisfy even the most fervent of pober and clean and has been ever since. ets with “House on Fire” and “Broken Understanding her hardships makes Glass,” while still including laid-back, the song that much more powerful, es- upbeat tracks like “Cheap Thrills” for pecially the line, “I don’t wanna die.” dance queens. Sia thoroughly dazzles, Among all the recent pop songs about showing she can be both galvanic and courage and finding oneself (think tender. “This Is Acting” is a phenom“Roar” and “Fight Song”), this is the enal celebration of finding oneself most lyrically and vocally heartfelt. amid the settling dust of defeated The next track, “Alive,” is clearly adversity. Sia takes her listeners on the highlight of the album. Also writa journey of self-healing, and it is ten for Adele, the song showcases the too awe-inspiring and honest to be same level of fiery emotion and inforgotten. ) tensity the British powerhouse would by Emily Xu, Brooklyn, NY have. At times with the high notes, by Graham Pearson, Cannon Falls, MN 30 Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM MYSTERY The Enemy (series) • Charlie Higson Invisible • James Patterson T I yet so many plot points are packed into hey prey on the young, they take each book that the series could stand to over the night, the sickos are be extended further. Although the story everywhere – or at least that’s what it feels like when reading Charlie Higson’s can feel confusing, Higson’s countless hours of research and outlining can be acclaimed zombie series, The Enemy. seen in the wonderfully imaginative The seven-volume series takes place twists and turns. in London and its surrounding suburbs. Higson has written and directed for It begins in a Waitrose supermarket television, as well as writing many other and follows a young group of survivors books, including the Young attempting to rebuild after Bond series. By the time a harsh winter has depleted the first Enemy book was their resources. Unfortureleased, he had been in the nately for the children, the literary world for decades. “mothers” and “fathers” In addition to his time as an (as the children refer to the author and screenwriter, Higsickos) have the same goal: son fronted the U.K. band everyone over the age of 16 the Higsons. The creative has gone out of their minds, edge he developed from his and it seems that their sole variety of works is apparent purpose is to eat human flesh. in the Enemy series’ dialogue The concept strikes terror into readers and will cause Terrifyingly and plot, and the depth added to the characters of a variety sleepless nights for many a vivid of ages, gives the series a finbookworm. ished and thought-out style. Higson’s writing is terrifyingly vivid. Each page reveals another Despite the occasional confused horror that seems insane. Thanks to or overstressed plot point, which Higson’s refined writing, these impossiHigson’s skillfully crafted writing often ble nightmares transfer seamlessly to the cancels out, the Enemy series is a solid page. At points in the books it feels as if read for any zombie enthusiast or horror the sickos could launch right out of the book lover. With the perfect amount text and take hold of you. of plot and action, this series is sure to While Higson’s writing is excellent please. ) and vibrant, his stories can feel disby Allison Krusche-Bruck, jointed or overstressed at points. Each New Berlin, WI installment spans a short period of time, nvisible by James Patterson is a must-read for all suspense lovers. From the very first pages, it’ll have you glued to the book. Emmy Dockery is on leave from her high-profile job as an FBI researcher after the sudden death of her sister from a house fire. She’s obsessed with the incident, claiming there are links between hundreds of “accidental” house fires all over the country in the past year. Though she insists that these are the work of a genius serial killer, no one believes her – not even her ex-fiancé, field agent Harrison “Books” Bookman. That is, until the evidence becomes overwhelming. Invisible is a jaw-dropping, must-read that will have you on an emotional roller coaster to the very end. Patterson switches perspectives throughout, allowing the reader to hear Emmy and the serial killer, who records himself as he stakes out victims, tortures and then kills them. Readers follow in anxious suspense to see what he’s about to do, only to flip the page and see that the FBI is headed in the wrong direction. He is a clever serial killer who performs his murders so precisely it’s almost impossible to realize they are even murders. Having tortured The deaths look his victims, he then sets their houses on fire, making the deaths look like accidents. Finally, like accidents after an extensive autopsy, one medical examiner declares, “Their deaths were no accident. These were homicides. And these were the most ingenious, meticulous, and cold-blooded murders I’ve ever seen.” This book contains the unraveling of a mass murder spree so dynamic and elaborate you can’t help but keep reading. Patterson is a highly acclaimed author who has written some of the best mysteries of our time. With some less impressive books in recent years, Invisible will be his comeback for sure. This book is outstanding with all its mystery, suspense, and twists, and is sure to leave readers satisfied. ) book reviews HORROR by Maya Obeid, Trumbull, CT AUTOBIOGRAPHY The Last Maasai Warriors • Wilson Meikuaya and Jackson Ntirkana S ome of the most culturally diverse places in the world expected to serve and obey their husbands. Meikuaya was born without a name, yet after years are in the plains of Africa. Said to be the cradle of of seeing him grow into a brave young man, his parents humankind, Africa has many tribes that maintain their named him Miton Ole Meikuaya. One thing he wanted traditional culture and way of life. In The Last Maasai was to attend school, but his parents didn’t approve. Warriors, Wilson Meikuaya and Jackson Ntirkana docuHis mother warned him that police often took Maasai ment their journey growing up as Maasai and preserving children from their families and sent them to their culture while still wanting to learn about a place that would destroy their culture. His the world. mother told him, “If you see a car or truck The Maasai are from Kenya and have 17 coming, you are to run until you have no languages. They pray to their female god, breath left in you.” Yet Meikuaya wanted to Enkai, asking her to guide them and protect go to school, so one day he was “accidentheir cows. The boys in the tribe are trained tally” caught. Meikuaya loved school and not to show fear or pain; they are the Maasai found languages easy to learn. He was the Warriors. Even flinching when having their class clown and decided to adopt the Chrisbaby teeth pulled would shame their family. tian name Wilson, because the other students They remain unnamed for their first years of couldn’t pronounce his name. Throughout the life. book you see how Meikuaya transitions from Young Maasai undergo many rites of passage to manhood. For example, they may A powerful boy to warrior. Jackson Ntirkana had a similar childhood. spend years in a cave waiting to kill a lion. story He always listened to his mother, respected Once they pass the graduation ceremony, they his father, and, like a Maasai warrior, never can marry a bride of their parents’ choosing. A Maasai man can have as many wives as he wants, all showed pain, fear, or pride. Like his friend Meikuaya, living in neighboring houses. Wilson Meikuaya’s father Ntirkana wanted to go to school; against his parents’ wishes he went to learn about the world, other languages, had four wives, giving him 42 siblings. Sadly, domestic and math, a subject he excelled in. He was also a great abuse is common in Maasai culture, and women are FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @TEEN.INK athlete and spent any free time playing soccer with a ball made of crumpled up plastic. He was loved by all and decided to use his schooling to help his community and save the Maasai culture. With the help of Susan McClelland, Wilson Meikuaya and Jackson Ntirkana narrate their stories and explain their Maasai culture. The book discusses how their culture hasn’t evolved into modern times. They wish to maintain certain aspects, like drinking cow’s blood, yet stop other traditions, like killing lions (which is now illegal in Kenya, unless done in self-defense) and arranged marriages. The story itself is very dry in the beginning, but after the photos in the middle the narrative starts getting interesting. The time line is also confusing, since chapters alternate between the two men’s points of view. The first few chapters describe them at school, then flash back to before they went to school, then jump ahead to weekends when they visited home. This is a powerful story of two men who are making an impact on the world. They currently work with the nonprofit organization Free the Children and give talks to volunteers in Kenya about the Maasai culture. ) by Megan Ansems, Kentville, NS, Canada O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 31 fiction Semi-Automatic by Tabitha Vance, Grand Bay, AL “C an we get nachos?” Karen asks, acrylic rant near campus that serves them. Like, how can away. The exit is just to the right. You can’t reach it nail tapping the menu. “I’m really cravyou pass that up?” Kyle retorts, playfully tugging at fast enough. ing nachos.” the menu in the brunette’s dainty hands. “David! You can’t just leave without me!” His It’s hard to hear over the bustle of the crowded “Pickles are my favorite,” John comments, and steps echo impossibly behind you. You pick up the restaurant, over the swinging country your head pounds. You focus on the pace, ignoring the strange looks you get, ignoring music, the drawling waitresses, the glass, watch as the ring around it grows the waiters, ignoring the hostess and her startled clinking of dishes, and the murmur of expression, ignoring that stupid, grating voice. You No one believed ever larger. You don’t think about Sarah their group. Kyle looks over at Karen’s or how she’s probably texting some boy, throw open the driver’s side door and fling yourself you’d make it distracting him from something. You menu, and they argue about an appetizin. Still, he opens the other door and gets in beside er. Sarah leers at the two before looking hope he is smart enough to stay focused. you. through back at her phone. “Hey, David, they aren’t listening to “You know I can’t drive. My car, it’s a mess.” Michael, civilized and always obme. Tell them I want the pickles,” John He babbles incessantly as you drive, and your servant, is looking at you with concern. You ignore whines, grabbing your forearm with frozen hands, eyes burn. Your vision blurs, and you thank God that him, staring instead at the glass of water that the and you cringe. driving has become nearly instinctual. You feel your waitress placed there moments ago, watching water “Why do we need an appetizer?” Sarah asks, feet move, your hands grip the wheel, and yet you droplets condense before sliding down the glass. one blonde eyebrow raised. “The steaks here are feel nothing. “I say we get fried pickles. This is the only restauhuge.” Her words are spoken in the most monotone, Until you remember where you are. gravel-garbled, familiar way. She never shows Your heart nearly stops when you see the narrow emotion, except whenroad just off the highway. You pull over and get out, No. determined to end this once and for all. You hear Don’t think about that. John get out too. You can feel Michael’s gaze, weighted and “David, why’d you stop? Forget the way?” he worried. You hope your expression isn’t as twistjokes. “I thought you knew this path by heart. It’s ed as it feels. not automatic after all this time?” “You’re going to pass on the pickles? They’re, You swallow the cry that threatens to burst from like, legendary,” Kyle questions incredulously. your throat, and stumble toward a small plaque that John begins, “David, please-” rests inches from the ditch. You glare at the small “No pickles,” you growl, hands shaking white cross that guards it. John looks on, unimbeneath the table. The conversation stops, and pressed. Karen lets out a small squeak before hiding “C’mon, Dave, I need to get home. Sarah’s waitbehind her menu. Even Sarah looks startled. ing.” He is still here. How can he still be here? “No pickles,” you reiterate calmly, a grin “No, she’s not.” Your voice cracks. “She moved plastered on your face. “Not after last time. on long ago.” Your hand traces the plaque, the worn Remember how sick I got? Are you going to put and forgotten letters. Photo by Abbigail Swann, Cullman, AL me through that again?” “F R ON T HAN SM TH” it seems to read. No one remembers how sick you “From me? Dave, you must not hear the nonsense got. This is the first time you’ve been coming from your mouth. Don’t you see the way she out with them in … a while. But everyhangs all over me?” one’s relieved to move on, and you let Instead of commenting, you go back to your car them. and clamber in, fighting the seat belt and switching You pick up your water, just to give on the ignition, as per routine. Right, left, watch the by Hayley Fox, Duingal, Australia your hands something to do. You will light, stop sign, bridge ahead, left, left, right. Finally them to stop shaking. you pull in front of his house, or what’s here’s a certain comfort in knowing the bed you sleep in each night. The water is cold as it left of it. Instead of a mother fretting over You’d think after all these years I’d have grown tired of the wooden runs down your throat, youngest of the Smith boys, instead frame and the mattress that’s too thin. And if I’m being honest, there You try not to the but it does nothing for the of a father cooking his famous lasagna, are times I wished for a better one, but there are worse things and I hardly ache in your head. You instead of John scaling the small oak, think about the have the right to complain about a bed. can hear John’s fingers an awful nothingness bellows from the Like the smell of this place. Perhaps were my family richer, these thin semi and the gaping jaw of the open door. The blue tapping the table over walls would be thick and block the smells. I wonder what the rest of the every other sound. Each cottage is rotting, as if it couldn’t exist drunk man neighborhood thinks. It’s really not a nice place, and I’m sure they’ve all tap is like a punch to the once deprived of its lively tenants. noticed. The smells are worse at night. But maybe that’s chest. You can’t believe John scoffs. “David, you know I don’t just me – so little noise come nightfall that there’s nothhe’s here. It’s been weeks since you live here anymore.” My bones ing to distract me from all the bad here. heard from him, and now he has the “No, you don’t,” you agree numbly. It’s really a downer of a place. I spend most of my ache audacity to show up here. “You should have let me drive. I can man the time feeling sorry for myself. I mean, we all end up “David, are you all right?” Michael wheel like no one’s business. Best driver there is, somewhere. Some places are just better than others. asks. His voice sounds muffled, and yours truly.” And it’s really not my fault I wasn’t born into wealth. Maybe if I was I’d be your head is spinning. John has moved You try not to think about those claims, about surrounded with gold, sleeping on feathery pillows each night. to bumping his shoe against yours the night with the semi and the drunk man and the There I go again about the bed. It’s just uncomfortable, you know? A little under the table, and you can’t take narrow roads and John and his cell phone and his too firm. My bones ache. But, like I said, there are worse places, and at least anymore. flirting and your own distracting laughter …. You try I’ll always have somewhere to sleep. My family doesn’t have much money, “I can’t do this,” you blurt, standing and you fail. but they did make sure of that. That was kind of them. up and sliding out of the booth. You “The car is just an extension of me. It’s basically I wish they’d visit me more. When they do, it’s a quick array of hushed note that they sat you at the end of the automatic.” voices and then silence. I don’t even see them. Then they’re gone for months. booth. No one believed you’d make it “Just because you’re the perfect driver doesn’t But I don’t blame them, really. Like I said, it’s a dodgy place. Not a lot of through. mean everyone else is. You have to … have to … traffic, just dullness. I wonder if my neighbors’ families visit. I hope so. They were right. you have to watch.” You can barely get the words I spend so much time alone. There’s a lot to think about. My thoughts nev“Do you want someone to drive you out, and John just laughs, laughs that stupid laugh er stop. But then again I do nothing – no job, hobbies, or family, really. All home?” Karen asks, voice comforting you miss so much. I’m left with are thoughts. They’ll never, ever stop. I have too much time. as she grabs your wrist. Her hand is hot You wish you’d given him that advice that night I wonder if it would be the same if I’d been cremated. ✦ and alive and unbearable. 128 days ago, back when there was someone to hear “I’ll be okay,” you mutter as you pull it. ✦ Too Much Time T 32 Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM fiction Sight Lines by Ophelia Hiney, Franklin, WI “C an you see okay, MauThrough the murk of thought, rice?” called a voice from something appeared on the visor – an the intercom. “Is the visor orange cone of light searching back correctly positioned on your face?” and forth in the darkness. Maurice shook the helmet on her One after another, the panels head. “I think so.” opened and other subjects crawled “What do you mean you think so?” out, fumbling in the darkness. She “I mean I’ve never done this becounted each of their sight lines, fore, and it is a test-run, so chill out, marking twelve people in the roomy Derek.” chamber. He turned from the console with She heard their footsteps on the lia smirk on his face. He noleum and lightly stepped looked down into the around them, testing the testing room, where capabilities of her “Are you sure stealth Maurice stood in the suit. It felt good to have an center of a whitewashed you counted advantage, but before she chamber, complete with could have any real fun, twelve?” padded walls and buzzthe subjects disappeared ing fluorescent lights. back into their panels “August thirteenth, and the lights flashed on, twenty-sixty-three. Test number blinding Maurice. A037847-B. We have placed the “Here we are, caption,” Derek test subject in Chamber A, complete called. “How many did you count?” with experimental suit and the visor “Twelve,” Maurice called proudly. prototype, which I like to call the “Say, this suit works really well. Spectercles.” Maurice laughed in the Can I bring one home to scare my chamber below. cats?” “Seriously?” she called, chuckling. Expecting at least a snooty Derek thought it was clever. chuckle, Maurice looked up, “Vision Sensing Goggles” sounded where the white-coats appeared to too formal, and they weren’t even be arguing. Derek looked worried. goggles. He leaned down to the microAround the chamber were panels phone. “A-,” he started, clearing in walls and floor tiles, for other his throat. “Are you sure you test subjects to crawl out of in the counted twelve?” His tone made dark. The Vision Sensing Goggles, Maurice shiver with something or “Spectercles,” were designed to other than cold. analyze and orient sight lines, which “Yeah? I’m sure.” emitted microscopic rays of light. The Derek turned back to the others goggles and matching suit, complete and bickered some more. Maurice with soundless latex bodysuit and sat and waited for the buzzing of padded soles, were designed for their voices to match the shining stealth operations. hornet’s nest above her. They The blue visor stretched across synchronized very well. Maurice’s face, painting the room the “We’ll have to run the test ghostly hue of early morning. Derek again,” Derek finally announced. called out from the observation deck, “Something wasn’t exactly right initiating the test. with your results.” “We’ll turn out the lights for two Maurice smiled. “Good, this is minutes, and we want you to count fun!” how many people you detect in the The lights turned off again, and room around you. There’s only a Maurice carefully marked each small margin for error, so please do line of sight that shot through the the best you can and don’t lose count, dark in a vibrant pallor of sunset, all right?” checking twice and even counting “Aye, aye, caption,” she shouted aloud for the third time, all while confidently. dancing, invisible, around the Derek paused. “Captain, you meant other subjects. captain.” She was certain this time. There “Nope.” were twelve sight lines in all. Derek scowled and flipped the “Twelve,” she called as the switch. lights flickered back on. “Just like The room flooded with darkness; last time.” the sound of the dying lights slowly Derek was becoming angry dissipated into the void. Maurice now. “You’re counting wrong,” he stood still, scanning her surroundscolded. ings, feeling the suit’s uncomfortable She faced the deck. “I counttightness. She had complained to the ed twelve. I know I’m not a lab scientists, and they had obliged by pen-jockey, but I can do simple padding the suit, covering and flattenmath, y’know. Twelve.” ing out her “assets,” as they called it. She turned from them and was Pricks. met with something unexpected. FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @TEEN.INK Art by Alejandro Velazquez, Galloway, NJ One sight line remained in the chamber, staring and unblinking. She could barely see it in front of the blinding pale walls, but there it was, a hint of orange hovering in the air. “Okay, I see what’s going on. The visor must be malfunctioning; I can still see a sight line down here,” she called. “I’m sorry, what?” “My visor must be mistaking something for a sight line, because there’s still one here.” The test chamber doors hissed as they slid open, and Derek called, his voice soft but stern, “Maurice, exit the chamber now.” “Why? What’s going on?” “We only sent down eleven men.” ✦ Into the Void by Albert Kim, Sugar Land, TX H ere suffered the skies, plastered with murky darkness that quells all forms of luminescence. The moon quivered away from the impending darkness; the stars vanished from the imminent dispersion of blackness. On this night, an old man stepped out of the house, glancing back at his final sight of light, closing the door with an unwavering will to burst into the darkness. Accepting the living presence, darkness latched onto him with primordial grasps, enveloping him in a shroud. Despite this prevalent fiendish aura, there was he, the old man, nonchalantly descending the stone slabs. Little did he know that an oppressive wind would soon arrive to assail him. With such a force did the wind arrive, coercing the poor soul to cringe beneath its all-mighty power. Beneath the barrage of the wind, despite the fragility of his own vitality, the old man reached for his blackened spectacles, his final remaining ally. How could he live with another loss? However, despair was a succulent treat for the wind. A scream pervaded the skies as the wind grasped and flung the spectacles away. His heart racing, his face sinking, the old man frantically scrutinized his barren environment, scanning stretches of land for his beloved spectacles. At that moment, darkness swept to Darkness obscure the spectacles from sight with malicious intent to harm its fled in terror, living prey. Now the old man sensed the foreboding presence of the darkness and with it, and knelt to pray for mercy. Shocked was darkness at such behavior – how could one ask for mercy after entering its grasp? Darkness the wind scoffed at this request and responded by amplifying the power of the wind, which blew ever so mightily. The old man screamed in agony as the wind ripped upon him. Oh, the pain! His body, gradually losing vigor, cracked with every rotation down the sea of concrete, blood erupting from his lesions as friction degraded his body. After what seemed to be a year, as a radiant blue pierced the skies, darkness fled in terror, and with it, the wind. Stillness arrived to the world as his blurry eyes received the blissful colors of dawn. What a day! The sun shone upon all organisms with a glistening smile, bringing animation after a period of rest. Oh, the vividness! Who knew such a terrible event had just occurred! But the old man felt life escaping his grip. His hope, his will, his allies, his health, all disappeared with the darkness. Only one wish remained; one wish that he had longed for since the catastrophic event penetrated his soul. One wish that superseded even the wish to remain alive. One wish that was only attainable through death. Perhaps it was time to depart after a time apart. As he closed his eyes to bid his final farewell, images flashed in his mind – the perfect alignment of teeth curving up to form dimples full of warmth, the cheerful, reassuring yips that imposed a mood of euphoria on those within earshot, the extended arms and open hands reaching toward him – such beloved memories shuffled into nothingness. Nearly a century of life dissipated in a moment. The old man smiled, closing his eyes for the final time, and he embraced the void. ✦ O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 33 fiction 34 Keeping Promises by Jenna Dube, Exeter, NH T Unless of course, they were going to tear the he autumn afternoon was cold and dreary, the hopelessness and guilt. whole park down and put in a housing development, kind that makes you want to stay inside and The only way to get rid of the episodes was to or God forbid, a traffic circle. If that happened, build a pillow fort. Technicolor leaves decotake medication, and Kay didn’t want to be drugged she’d never enjoy a peaceful afternoon again. rated the city scape and framed the minuscule park up all the time. So she dealt with them in her own Kay was a quiet person. This was the most excitethat lay directly in front of the Second Empire home way: blink and count to ten. You can take ten ment she had had in decades – since her husband on the corner. Inside, Kay Jacobs (née O’Malley) seconds of anything. Even heart-wrenching, guiltdied. Jack had succumbed to liver cancer – it ran sat by the first-floor picture window, drinking cold soaked memories. in the family – plus he was an eager alcoholic. Kay black coffee. Wind whistled through the brooding She glanced at the clock. Fifteen minutes passed. scoffed at the thought of her late husband. She had pines and exhaled into the evening sky. She was growing impatient and anxious. She tried to grieved his death, of course – she wasn’t heartless A loose corkscrew of hair tugged free from her convince herself everything would be okay if he left. – but he was a mean drunk. She didn’t slate-gray bun. She pushed it back Her episode would pass and she would eat dinner love him in the end, and she hadn’t for absentmindedly, her eyes fixed on the and go to bed, safe in her home. Perhaps he was many years. She likely stopped loving long-abandoned playground across taking longer because it was his last time visiting the the street. It was silent, aside from the She’d never seen him the night of their wedding, when he site. A bubble of hope inflated in her chest. got drunk and gave a toast to her back squeaking of the rusted swings. There Five more minutes. It was nearing six now, and the man without side. She could still remember how his was no sign of him. Yet. Kay’s stomach growled in hunger. Just a quick bite Long retired from her job as a real his dark glasses buddies roared in a tsunami of laughter. to eat wouldn’t hurt, right? He never even apologized, Kay thought estate agent and with both sons gone, She stood, her back aching and knees feeling bitterly. Kay led a fairly boring life. For the like sawdust, and went to the fridge, where she And of course, she hated him for the past two weeks, however, she had pulled out bacon, eggs, and a hunk of cheddar. After other thing. He had blamed her, and she had blamed noticed a tall man in a dark, well-fitted suit and searching in vain for the cheese knife, she decided to him. It was the one thing she hadn’t been quiet sunglasses arrive at the playground in an SUV. He use a steak knife instead. She grabbed a frying pan and docile about. She knew it was his fault, so she appeared to take notes. She assumed he was a real and turned on the burner to make a quick omelet. shouldn’t feel guilt, should she? estate developer, but she took notes on him too: Too tired to bother with more dishes, she carried the She was startled out of her memories by a salty what he was doing, what he looked like, etc. pan back to her chair by the window. tear sliding down her nose. She wiped it away, sniffIt was odd, she thought. Every time she pulled out The omelet was warm, spongy, and delicious. ing. She had no idea how long she had been lost in her notebook, she realized that what she had written Mid-bite, she glanced out the window. The man was her thoughts, but it was long enough. He was there. previously was a little off. He seemed taller, more gone. Kay smiled a little, congratulating herself on The man was facing the house. intimidating. Her descriptions of his face were minpredicting that he would leave soon. Then her smile He was wearing his dark glasses. He was not writimal. She had never seen him without his oversized faded and the omelet soured in her mouth as she ing or making any facial expression that indicated he dark glasses; in fact, he had never faced her house, realized the SUV was still there. saw her. In fact, he was so expressionless that if Kay so she grew increasingly frustrated. Kay did not like A jolt of fear traveled up her body. Maybe he was didn’t know better, she would have thought he just not knowing. finishing his notes in the car. Now seemed like the had a very wrinkly, bald head. Then he removed his Was he looking at apartments in the area and perfect time to call the police. She dialed 911, but sunglasses. wanted to see if the park was nice? Was he a pedoinstead of hearing ringing or a long, flat dial tone, The first thing she noticed was he didn’t appear to phile looking for his next prey? Or was he scoping the phone was silent. She followed the cord to where have eyes. The space under his glasses was dark and out the park for developers? it connected to the wall and saw what looked like empty, like eye sockets. Kay let out a tiny gasp. The Kay could not imagine that he was either of the a small fray in the wire. She blinked. The fray was man seemed to hear her. first two, and while the last seemed possible, she had gone, the wire smooth. A second later, she heard the He cocked his head and grimaced – or was it a a gut instinct that it wasn’t right either. The park was calm voice of the operator say, “911, what’s your grin? His mouth widened and contorted into a twistwell kept, with trimmed grass that was just beginemergency?” ed smile, revealing a slimy, onyx-colored substance ning to brown now that it was October. Ancient, Silence on Kay’s end. pooling between his jagged teeth. His eyebrows knotted trees had matured for the 60 years the small “Hello?” were dark and furrowed, which would have seemed park had been there. Families of squirrels chattered Her head pounded. angry if not for his maniacal smile. The skin on his noisily among the graying oaks. Really, the only She hung up and placed her head in her hands. face seemed fluid, stretching in a putty-like manner. thing that needed work was the playground. Kay What was she going to say to the police? She needed In short, he was terrifying. knew real estate; they wouldn’t send a scout out for to think. Her eyes burned with pain and He took a small steps toward the two weeks just for a playground. there was a dull, steady thumping behind street that divided them. His movement her eyelids. Migraines often came with The killer was her episodes. was graceful; chills ran along her spine. Kay stifled a shriek and fought back headache screamed, overriding never found anyHercoherent tears – this time of fear. She recognized thoughts. She hadn’t had him. Even with his disturbingly altered a headache this bad since the day of the face, she could recognize the way he incident. It had been a cool fall afternoon moved. Why – how – was he here? much like this one, and she had woken with terrible She blinked. Suddenly, she realized he was not pain in her skull. She had been in the first trimesfacing the house. He appeared to have turned inhuter of her second pregnancy and spent most of the manly fast. She blinked again. He was now facing morning hovering over the toilet bowl. David, her the park, taking notes. It seemed so completely firstborn, was just five at the time, not yet in school. ordinary that she had trouble believing what she had He had been bouncing around with the energy of a seen a moment ago. But her mind whispered, It was child cooped up all day, and finally, Kay had yelled him. You know it. in frustration for him to find his father so he could She couldn’t be sure. Perhaps she was having one take him to the park. David had shrunk away with of her episodes. In fact, now that she thought about heartbroken Bambi eyes, but Kay was annoyed it, that had to be it. An episode triggered by the beyond the point of caring. memories of her late husband. There had been many Jack had quietly taken David out of the house, but like this before. The doctors said it was residual he had also taken a bottle of “Coke” and a hangtrauma from the incident. Her vision would begin over from the night before. As David played on the to play tricks on her and she would see things that swings, Jack sat on a bench and drank himself to weren’t there, like the face of the man. Sometimes sleep. Meanwhile, Kay collapsed into much needed her hearing would be affected too. The doctors said sleep. With no supervision, David left the chain it was a mental barrier stemming from feelings of link fortress of the playground and ventured ➤ ➤ Art by Julia Pope, North Andover, MA Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 COMMENT ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM by Julia Felsenstein, Ridgewood, NJ I n his hands he cupped two magnificent gems – two spheres he had so longed to touch. The rotting body in the back room of his shop slouched against a wall, dried blood and darkness in place of its eyes. As he began stuffing the freshly killed fawn, he couldn’t help but smile. His soul held the happiness only found in children. He gently picked the hazel eyes back out of the jar, and one by one placed them in the sockets of the animal. “Is there anything on Earth more alluring than the complexity of the human eye?” he whispered to the fawn. The man stepped back and admired his work – his treasure. It seemed as if every time he completed a project, his desire to do it again only grew more intense. He picked up the animal and carried it to the others. Each had eyes remarkably captivating yet incredibly unnatural. Not many came to his shop, but when they did, he never let the opportunity pass him. He heard the bells on the front door, and he quickly went to greet power went out. She let out a little shriek and into the park. Unbeknownst to his parents, a man clutched a fist to her chest, feeling her heart aclured David into his large black car, which then celerate. A sob escaped her. She felt as hopeless sped off. as she had the day of the incident. She blinked, When Kay awoke from her nap, it was dark praying it was part of her episode. The light from and the house was quiet except for a muffled the hallway behind the kitchen flickered on. wailing. The sound soaked through the floorA silhouette of a figure appeared in the winboards, and Kay followed it into the kitchen. It dow, three yards in front of hers. The man was was Jack, sitting on the floor, empty liquor bottles standing in the front yard, grinning his twisted, all around him. He was crying. oozing smile. Her heart nearly burst through her His sobs pricked at Kay’s veins and she felt the chest. He was in her front yard! Why didn’t she swell of a headache again. “What the hell’s the call the police? How could she be matter with you?” she said. “Get so stupid? off the floor. Where’s David?” Then she noticed that he had a Her husband raised his watery You can take ten key. She froze, her mouth open in eyes. “He’s gone. Someone said h-he left in a van.” seconds of anything. a silent scream, her hand raised as if she were stifling a yawn. It was Kay remembered the anger Even hearther house key, the extra one that she felt, the primal instinct to she kept hidden. protect her child and the vicious wrenching guilt. Her eyes widened as she need to blame her self-centered, watched him step closer and raise alcoholic husband. She rememhis other hand. He was holding a bered how when she called the very familiar object: the knife she used to cut the police and they said, “We traced him. We found cheese for her omelet earlier. David,” she felt gratitude bloom within her but But how …? He couldn’t have that knife or the then terrible guilt as she realized what that meant. key unless …. She remembered the funeral and how the killer Kay blinked. All of a sudden, her headache was never found, and she remembered how the disappeared and she realized exactly two things. entire community turned against Jack; but she The first: who the man was. The second: he hated him most. She remembered how in a drunkwas not in her front yard; she was looking at a en rage he swore he would kill her one day, and reflection. she remembered when he died how she finally Kay turned just in time to meet the knife with felt safe. her chest. She blinked and saw the face of her Now, nearly 40 years later, alone in her home, husband leering over her, his skin gray, his smile, across the street from the park where her beloved a maniacal grin, horrifying. son had been taken, she tried to use those feelings “Hello, Kay,” he said. “I’ve come to make good of hatred and fear to make her bold. She tried on my promise.” ✦ to gather her strength. But before she could, the FOLLOW US ON The trees began rattling, rattling and bustling, but Thaddeus seemed unable to react. As he stood up to leave, a branch flew down and hit him with a blow. The slab of wet wood fell straight to his back, pushing him forward into a cloud of black. Over a root Thaddeus stumbled, as the sound of thunder increasingly rumbled. On Marjorie’s grave, his head was detached, and into the tomb his soul was snatched.” Like a broken record he repeated these seven lines. The woman, rope-burned hands free at last, slid off the table. A sickening stench enveloped the man. He couldn’t speak or see. Foreign blood seeped into his skin. As he touched his face, he found only a tunnel where his eyes had been. Like Polyphemus, he was robbed of his most valued sense. Although he couldn’t see it, nor would he ever, his final project had been completed. The fox watched the man from across the room with a glistening new pair of eyes. ✦ approach, but his feeble limbs were his new client. As he approached, he no longer capable of enduring that found himself unable to speak. kind of physical encounter. He could The young woman standing before barely even dispose of his victims him had eyes that burned with a properly anymore. He tended to beauty almost too perfect to be real. carry them out to the alley, but even The rays of sun seeping through the that was strenuous. window illuminated specks of ameThe woman collapsed in his arms, thyst and gray in her irises. and he dragged her to the windowHe courteously smiled as the less and bleak back room. She lay woman came her way into the shop. unconscious on a table Generally, the man while he finished with would allow his victims The woman the fox, who was soon a few minutes before a new pair he began his process, collapsed in toof receive eyes. As always, the but today his lust would man began muttering his permit no such privilege. his arms favorite poem. As the woman The woman shot stood with her back awake only to find herself tied to the turned, admiring a screech owl he table. In all his excitement, he hadn’t had stuffed many years before, the used enough chloroform. Oblivious man slipped into the back room. to his mistake, he continued his Blood bubbling with anticipation, work, softly reciting, he quickly dabbed an old cloth with “The rain continued to puddle and chloroform and swaggered over pour, all the while Thaddeus could to the woman. As she opened her take no more. mouth to speak, it was smothered by His bottle of whiskey was nearly the fabric. empty – eyes shot red and stomach When he was younger, the man filled plenty. might have used a more aggressive INSTAGRAM @TEEN.INK fiction The Fox Photo by Erin Dillman, Milford, CT The Hunted by Peter Hammond, Sydney, Australia I t is unusually damp tonight. The air is hazy and masks the shadows moving with the trees. Beneath the muck and leaves, the ground is alive with predators and prey. The feeling of anxiety collides with the felling of the cool breeze. It is so quiet, and the fall of the sun has just begun. My breath dances in the air, and perspiration rolls off my body. I can feel them closing in as they gather speed. I slap my arm in pain, feeling the sharp ping of a dart. The world spins around me, and I watch it disappear into the moonlight. ✦ O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 35 fiction Mommy’s Coming Home I t was a nice day for a funeral. The sun shone gently over the hills, the earth still bore the scent of rain from the night before, and a breeze shook copper leaves from the branches. Yet David saw none of this. His attention was focused on the memory of his wife’s face. She was gone, but he still couldn’t get his head around it. He’d told his six-year-old daughter, Amy, that Mommy had gone away, even though he couldn’t accept it himself. He couldn’t comprehend that it was Karen in the casket; he kept expecting her to sit up, smile, and tell them everything was okay. Amy didn’t cry. She had never cried. Not when she was an infant, not when she found her goldfish floating in the bowl, not when she fell off the swings. Never. Sometimes, David was frightened by his daughter’s stoicism. Art by Rosalia Billings, Eugene, OR He asked her doctor about it once, and she’d told him it was normal for children to have trouble expressing feelings. But this seemed to be more than that. As much as it troubled him to admit it, his daughter was like a machine. She never cried. She stood beside him, facing the open grave, emotionless even as the first shovel full of earth landed on the coffin lid. On the way home, Amy remained unchanged. In the house, David kneeled in front of her. “Are you okay, Ladybug?” Ladybug was what Karen had called her. It was Amy’s favorite animal. Once, she and her mother had hatched eggs and released the larvae in the garden, so the ladybugs could eat all the aphids. “I’m going to go play checkers,” she replied. 36 Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 by Max Firehammer, Missoula, MT “Do you want me to play with accord. First, the cuff crumpled and you?” he asked. She shook her head. twisted. Tiny tears formed in the “Okay. Tell me if you need anything.” cloth. With unblinking eyes, David Amy went to her room, black dress took a step back. Droplets of blood trailing behind her. David sat at the were blossoming on the fabric, table, alone with his thoughts until spreading up to the elbow, as the evening fell. She really was gone. sleeve twisted and shred itself. It At 8 o’clock, David shifted from reached the shoulder, and in his mind, his trance and went upstairs to put David could hear the fading whir as Amy to bed. Approaching her room, the machine was shut down. Bloodhe could hear her talking. stains covered the blue cotton now, “You need to go home now, Mr. turning it a deep purple. There was Victor, back into the closet. My daddy barely anything left of the sleeve but is coming. Thank you for playing a tangled mess, sopping with blood. checkers with me. Good night.” David shut his eyes, opened them David opened the door. “Who are again, and it was gone. you chatting with, Ladybug?” He sank to the floor, breathing in “Mr. Victor.” rattling gasps. “Who’s that?” “It wasn’t there,” he whispered to “My new friend. We played checkhimself. “You saw it, but it wasn’t ers, and he told me stories.” This was there. Grief does things to people. It’s probably normal, too, David thought. okay. It’s okay.” He got up cautiously, A coping mechanism. He decided to as if his legs might shatter. Moving go along with it. like a timid animal, he removed his “That’s nice. It’s time to turn off the tie, examined the bed closely, just to lights.” He kissed her be sure, and fell asleep forehead and switched in his clothes. His off the lamp. dreams were filled with His daughter was the din of machinery “Mr. Victor told me a secret.” the smell of blood. like a machine. andDavid “What?” woke at 1 a.m. “Mommy’s coming She never cried. to a violent, maddening home.” pounding. Confused David turned slowly, and half asleep, he sat carefully. “She isn’t up and covered his ears. coming back, Ladybug. I’m sorry.” The sound was shaking the whole “She is. Mr. Victor says so.” house. He tumbled out of bed and Through the shadows, he could see stood up. his daughter smiling. It was coming from Amy’s room. “Mommy died. She’s gone.” Still dazed, he staggered across the “You’re wrong.” She was still grinhall, into her bedroom. She was sitning, like this was a joke. ting up in bed, eyes wide and strange, “Go to sleep.” He shut the door. staring at the closet. The thumping As he walked to his bedroom, Danoise was overwhelming, like a trevid contemplated what his daughter mendous heartbeat. With each strike, had said. Maybe one of the cartoons the closet door trembled, warping or comic books she liked had inspired and bending outward, straining in its this. Superheroes died and came back frame. all the time. Or maybe one of her “Mr. Victor wants out,” she told friends had told her a ghost story. In David calmly. any case, he’d talk to her tomorrow, David stepped toward the door. to make sure she recovered properly Bracing himself, he grasped the from this tragedy. He remembered handle and pulled it open. There was how she’d screamed when they’d nothing there. gotten the call about the accident at David didn’t breathe. He could hear the manufacturing plant. his own heartbeat, louder than the David opened his bedroom door, pounding. He could see something and a scream caught in his throat. It behind the clothes, something dark, couldn’t be, but it was: laid out neatly trickling down the back wall of the on the bed was Karen’s pale blue closet. He pushed the clothes aside. work jumpsuit, name tag and all. It There, on the plaster, words were was what she’d worn the day it hapsmeared in black. pened. The day her hand got caught in Mommy’s coming home. the machine designed to flatten sheet “Did you write this, Ladybug?” He metal. The day her arm had been could hear his voice trembling. pulled in, crushed, and mangled to the “No,” she giggled. “Mr. Victor did.” shoulder, and she’d bled to death on “Tell the truth.” the factory floor. “I am.” There was something weird As David stared in shock, someabout her smile. thing began happening to the neatly “Mr. Victor isn’t real.” ironed jumpsuit. The left sleeve “He is. And now he’s coming out.” started to contort, moving of its own “Please, Ladybug. You’ve got to COMMENT stop this.” Suddenly, something about Amy changed. She stared at her father with dark eyes, and in a voice not hers said, “Mommy’s coming home.” “Stop it,” David exclaimed, backing up until he hit the wall. His daughter’s voice grew deeper. “This isn’t Amy anymore.” “Amy, stop!” There was something wrong with her face. Smiling, sneering, frowning, she was flickering between expressions faster than a strobe light. “Don’t you want to see her again, Daddy? Don’t you want her to come back?” “Stop talking like that!” “She wants to come home. She’s calling your name right now and clawing at the coffin lid. There are splinters under her fingernails. I can see her, and I can feel them, Daddy. She wants you to let her out.” Amy’s fingertips began oozing blood onto the sheets. The closet door banged open and shut. “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” David screamed. “Whatever you are, leave my daughter alone!” She laughed a hoarse, throaty cackle. Black, paintlike fluid flowed down the walls like tears. “Mommy’s coming home, and she’s going to tear you apart, you worthless, whimpering, little pig.” The thing in the bed was shrieking with laughter now. Its eyes were empty, its fingers bloody, and there was no trace of Amy. David turned and ran from room and down the stairs. The giggles of the thing that used to be his daughter chased him like a vengeful ghost. This couldn’t be real. David needed help. He had to call someone – the police, a doctor, anyone to take him somewhere safe. He moved through the kitchen like a puppet controlled by a lunatic, stumbling and crashing into chairs. When he got to the telephone, he had to brace himself to keep from falling. Panting, when he held it to his ear, he heard Amy’s voice, her real voice. “Daddy?” Almost automatically, he answered. “Ladybug? What’s going on? What happened to you?” “Mr. Victor said we had to make a trade. When you opened the closet, he came out, and I went in. I’m not me anymore. Mr. Victor is me, and I’m …” “Where are you?” “I’m lost. It’s okay, Daddy. I had to trade. Mommy’s coming home.” There was a click. Inky fluid dripped from the telephone receiver. Mr. Victor’s psychotic cackles reverberated through the dark house. Someone was knocking on the door. Mommy was home. ✦ ON ANY ARTICLE AT TEENINK.COM A s beautiful as the desolation was, she could stand it no longer. The hideous yet melodic heartbeat of the clock, the way spiderwebs bloomed like roses, the tears that smelled of the ocean. It was too quiet, no, too loud. Too many thoughts, not enough to think about. Tick tock tick tock … Yes, but what does “tick tock” mean? Was it counting down ’til she too would tick away? Did it stand for something? Morse code? Was it a spirit trying to catch her attention? Was it him? This woman had no name as far as anyone knew. She was always called the Widow, or more often the neighbors vaguely described the Widow as “her.” It was hard to speak of such a creature. So incredibly dissociated. No interaction. One would feel guilty to call her by name – if they knew it. It felt strange when she would trip and hear herself yelp in pain. Did she actually do that? Was that her voice? She forgot she had one. The pain reminded her of the body she carried. It had been so long since she’d held a conversation, and no one ever gave her a reason to speak anymore. The mail person came and went. Dinner was prepared in her isolated kitchen. No one solicited. There was only silence. Perfection. Death. Oh, so much Death. Sameness. Dulled senses. In a way, her husband had broken more than just her heart when he died. He had taken her acquaintances, friends, and family members. After locking the door, she never once unlocked it for more than a few minutes. Only to retrieve the vittles from her porch did that mass of oak sway forward and then be sealed tightly once more. Everything in that house was shrouded in dust and decay, which fluttered out of the entrance like the swirl of sunlight she desperately tried to avoid. After opening the door on a day similar to this, she dreamt into a fitful sleep where creatures shimmied over her. They bit her bones and cursed her for letting him go so soon. I suppose the ancient woman and her tendencies were what shocked everyone to see her at church on a sleepy Sunday morning. She was still all in black. Her now-wrinkled face was covered in a layer of crepe. To a new onlooker, this Widow would appear to have been in no state of mourning other than deep. Deep and grief-stricken and freshly scalded. But there were no new onlookers, save the few curious children who had FOLLOW US ON by Liv Harris, O’Fallon, MO motions and hesitating. She passed never had the joy of seeing her. Yet through the doors. even they knew who this woman in Under the crepe, it was hardly the third pew was. Everyone did. noticeable. But someone did indeed The Widow faced forward for the notice this grotesque bodily horror service. After it ended, she didn’t as they passed her. She had hit a curb hurry in leaving. It appeared she was in the road and dragged her heel fortrying hard to be normal and carefree. ward. A lump swelled and fell again. The preacher waved at her with a This person, a boy sincere smile, hair grayer of about 13, bent down than the last time he’d to help the Widow up, caught her sight. She There was thinking she had been hurt. looked through him, He should have run, but he blank. He put his hand no blood. stretched out his hand. down and turned to greet After offering up one of others. Only webs. her signature bleak faces, There was something she lifted her veil. The not quite natural about glassy stare pierced the the Widow as she made poor child’s sternum, giving him a her way across the room. It was nauseous, light-headed sensation. His inhuman. face contorted as hers could not, and She walked as if she had gears he stumbled back. rolling around inside of her, forcing As she stood, her face changed. her body forward like a bulldozer’s The eyes rolled back in her skull, wheels. The muscles in her face, her mouth opened, the bones and torso, and arms shifted. They bulged muscles rolled. Her neck flung back in different places. She looked like a like a door on a hinge. Spiders spilled sock full of marbles, rolled down a out of her eyes, nose, and mouth. stairwell or slanting hallway, conThey curved into the figure they once vulsing, twitching, making sporadic God Complex possessed within their host, then dispersed, covering ground fast. Men and women alike jumped and screamed, running to the nearest high spot. Of course this was useless. The spiders easily overtook them, their skellic legs pressing into the skin of their victims, digging holes and forcing openings through their bones. Everyone writhed, ran. It was horrific, like watching an animal die from some sort of electric pulse. They stuttered. There was no blood. Only webs. Webs in their eyes, on their teeth, in their hair. It choked out the last air in the lungs of the poor citizens. The Widow slowly rose up, this time with fluidity, with grace. Her old skin peeled off and was set upon the ground as a garment might be. The webs underneath solidified into a curvaceous woman, and her hair darkened with the color of Death. She was ready to call her husband back, and this time there would be no hangings or burnings or stone-throwings. Only him and her and the corpses full of webs. ✦ fiction The Widow by Lars Sundance, East Wenatchee, WA A pushed me back to my flask. She and I met only once more, s if in silent foreshadowing of my actions at the on unfriendly ground. She hates me, as do I. It breathed its church, it looks at me with hatred dripping from its gist to my psyche, and out my mouth. Unable to recall what it maw. It loathes me yet is in love with my memories had forced me to say, I was certain she despised me. and the sins they conceal. The longer it stares, the more my As did I. brain screams for escape. Unfortunately for me and my clausNow, on the anniversary of what was once meant to be our trophobic mind, its eyes never blink. wedding day, she and I arranged to meet at the church where We first met on the eve of my wedding day, at the bottom we had planned to exchange vows. of a flask of scotch. It lied to me; it convinced me it was It wailed in furious protest upon hearing the news. It my companion. In that moment, it was beautiful – lean and caught me again, its ichor fangs digging into my throat, slowslender, with a magnificent crimson coat. Its eyes shone ly collapsing my ability to continue. glistening cobalt, whispering compassion to all who dared Still, I persist. It all but kills me, as amber regrets bleed out acknowledge them. over my memories of her smile and memories of her blood. Now it’s a disgusting mess of matted, mangled, dirty fur of Her blood …. black-violet rust, with eyes that have melted to a I stumble into the church atop the mound, moldy orange. while it pants and wails in frustration, refusIt still wants my companionship. Lying I am a ing to enter. It bellows that it will dissolve my through smiling, jagged teeth, it attempts to marionette in existence into a shadow of what I once was, but hide its falsehoods. Its God complex is a fury of it can’t repeat what it has already done. needles in my soul, draining my strength. I am its masquerade I know I see her sitting motionless, wearing her just a marionette in its unfathomably sorrowful of woe wedding dress, sobbing. I extend a hand for masquerade of woe. her before I beg her name, yet my hand passes Tonight, it is tired, as its glare is too feeble to through her like mist. stop my sprint. It lurches in tune to my thunIt trots to her side, matted, dirty fur regaining its gleam and derous stomps, screaming and hissing in an increasingly color as quickly as blood would cascade down my skin. desperate struggle to keep me from her. Her blood, down her skin …. From her. It glares at my presence, its expression solemn and its eyes I run over rivers of asphalt and through mountains of a chilling cobalt. hedges, thrusting my body and mind over the perils and When I blink, she is no longer sobbing in her dress, nor is howls erupting from its muzzle. It soon catches me, sinking the church sitting atop its mound. In the building’s place sits its ebony talons into my gut. a grassy hill, and in her place, a headstone. Still, I persist. My flesh shreds like paper, allowing my Remembering our fight, her desperation, and what venom body’s fuel to ooze through the warm slits. it had ordered me to speak, I reached for my flask. She and I fought, following its command. I dared not disIts pelt mats a grim shade. ✦ obey, in full knowledge of its power over me. In response, she postponed our souls’ uniting and departed from my life. She INSTAGRAM @TEEN.INK O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 37 poetry Photo by Simran Minhas, Delta, BC, Canada Mermaid Blues They want me to be hollowed out bone, Empty carcass, Gut me of my secrets, Throw my body into nowhere. They’ll let me sit there for decades, Till a forest makes its home in my veins, Till flowers bloom in the swell of my collar bone, Moss will decorate my hip bones, Soil will fill my mouth, I will become beautiful. Mother earth have me back, Take all that you want of me, Because these people here don’t want me, They want a ghost with heavy footsteps, A person without a presence, They ask for pieces of me that I do not want to give, And although the question was not for me to answer, I will respond anyway, Because this body is mine, And mine alone. I only went there once. During the hours when I would sit on the burning cement dipping my toes in chlorine. My body would lean closer to the edge of the deep end where she told me there were mermaids. I wanted to see them. The turquoise scales and cascading hair. The bubbles spewing from their mouths. But I leaned too far in. They pulled me into the twelve-foot deep. I think they forgot that I couldn’t swim. Not yet. No matter how much I wanted to so so badly, I couldn’t flick my legs, and fly through crystal liquid. But – I swear that she smiled back at me. The one with rubies decking her tail. How could I know, anyway? My eyes were trapped with the sting of pool water, in the pit of the deep end. October by Madeline Sims, Harleysville, PA Stiff scarecrow watches dry plains of indian corn unbent by the frost Trouble Finding Words by Jonah Gottschalk, Winter Park, FL Suburbia I wish I could tell you why God crept out from his isolation And unfurled me from his Calloused palm like an offering To the altar of the world “Be still” he murmured before Circling the sun. I am here now A mesh of blood and flesh And hands and When I speak language drips out Like a leaky faucet, I start cars that go nowhere And speak to people who Can’t hear me. I drive down memory lane and Look at all the fancy houses I will never live in. Inside their windows Voices drift in wind shadows Tonal hues of color and somber Amber ringlets, Pastels smeared on the inside of Stained glass, Flower petals pressed against Sleeping infants. I am good at holding a pencil And taking shallow breaths and Reading heavy books but Even I don’t do that anymore. I am good at knowing the answers to Questions everyone already knows, At repeating things I have been told And writing the right words together. There are the colorful silhouettes Of your temples where You craft beautiful things, And I am outside With the cold air and the empty pockets and I will never be anything but your doorman. by Grace Brindle, Westfield, NJ 38 Belittlement Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 My tongue rests heavy in my mouth, Like a stone at the bottom of a river. My voice is drier than a raisin, After hours evaporating in the hot California sun. My jaw is padlocked, The key an algebraic code only comprehended by the smartest mathematicians. My brain is scrambled, overcooked even, Like a batch of eggs neglected on the stove, meant for Saturday morning breakfast. But my heart, My heart is soaked with words I’ll never say. by Caitlyn Daas, Newport, NC The Fall of the Enclave The sun rose from below the waves As the demons flew on high, The two stone towers of the enclave Lay peaceful beneath the sky. But as the sun dispelled the night, A sentry looked above, And saw the dragons in their flight, Like old tales spoken of. He rang the bell and shouted out The knights became alarmed, Jumped from their beds and ran about A general call to arms. Before the fighting men came round, The dragons struck with force, The impact made an awful sound, The towers were its source. With scaly flesh and iron claw, It ripped the roof and wall, It then came back a second time And watched the towers fall. The second one with fiery breath, Ignited thatch and wood, The fire burned and brought the death, The dragons knew it would. They circled once then flew away, Leaving the charred vicinity, More than the towers were lost that day, The enclave lost serenity. by Joe Johnson, St. Louis, MO by Lily Cannon, Vienna, VA birth Aphrodite formed perfectly one day from a bit of sea foam. Her hair covered her fully developed breasts. Gods gathered to admire her beauty. In real life, unfortunately, it is never like this. Nothing is born from a bit of sea foam. Mothers lie down in terrible pain. Babies come out crying, red, covered in odd liquids. Wobble through life, attach themselves to the lie that assures them that competency comes with age. Plenty never stop wobbling. Plenty of people end up alone. Plenty find themselves wondering why they were born, and a few realize it was only a fortunate accident. by Lydia Hirsch, Manhattan Beach, CA The Robin A story above, many baby birds. Their mama – an artist. Old and wise. A concert amongst many wise words. Listen. Tweeting into twigs, bellowing into birch. Her babies – the crowd. They cry for more, she leaves the stage. No noise. Upon arrival, food in mouth. Mouths are now full, mama is back. They want to listen. One encore. by Lindsay Schlehlein, Hartland, WI Vitality i’ve been unkind it’s called a freeway an asphalt path of fixed dimensions yellow lines that stretch on the sides for all of known infinity the power lines caress the road stand with altitude and dangle the aspirations of masses upon their high voltage wires if followed they lead to electric victories steadfast they’ll get there eventually in sepia skies they hope to find liberty with supernatural figures that supposedly have all the answers but they never once asked a question of any significance when the flat road ends only then does the truth step forth out of the shadows it emerges the bluebirds that sing are nothing but vultures and the edge of your culture’s coins read: in the truly gruesome do we trust hit in the face by a sucker punch victims fall into the potholes on their backs they lie with an arm extended upward toward their lost ambitions my path veers off the interstate into undiscovered territory which I bulldoze my way through powered by momentum affinity for the unlimited thirst to indulge in the ideas that spiral like fractals through the unknown my path reaches into the stratosphere loops around planets tunnels through stars dips into black holes, new galaxies and curves into whatever my imagination may demise I often wade through pond scum shadow box the demons that command obedience echo negativity attempt to slash my skin open grab my youthful soul and throw it into reality the most malleable of all constructs when the ending approaches I’ll dine with the gods the greats emerged in victory living above the sun free of gravity as a renegade There’s a kindness under every gunshot. A corporal sin sleeping under the tongue of every clean-cut preacher. I once saw Eden in a bowl of fruity pebbles. Each flake built a vibrant island on my spoon. They colored the milk with a synthetic rainbow. I swallowed it with the infinity in my stomach. Something’s growing here, clawing at my lungs, breaking ribs, pushing its way up my throat. I swallow hard, take a breath, Hold it. i. in which i spite planets i hang up the phone with a sharp click – it was saturn on the other line, begging for her ring back between hiccuping sobs but by Julia Pope, North Andover, MA The Man So much depends upon the man stoking the fire under the pink, skinned body of a newly speared salmon, roasting lightly. by Cathy Nie, Livingston, NJ by Charles Morris, Saginaw, MI Metamorphosis Revealing reluctance toward severing ties from resonant pasts Seeking redemption from the bittersweet memories of the lasts Mothers’ kisses evolve from goodnight to goodbye a metamorphosis akin to that of the butterfly while hopes appear vividly on the surface the qualms lie deeply within uncovering one’s true purpose by Samantha Hysa, Parkland, FL Teardrop Under My Left Eye I’ve forced the sharp pain of a needle under my left eye and drew the image of a teardrop there. You ask if I’ve killed someone and my response is yes (check) and no (ex). Would society (1) C (2) O (3) U (4) N (5) T as a possible killer(?), or would they just blame it on me, myself, or I? Yeah, you may be able to SEE me, but my thoughts no longer exist – even though you never really cared about them anyway. I loathe the way you so gallantly strut toward the ones with a g a p between their legs, charcoal-colored ink above and over their long eyelashes, and a size six(6) waist, or the ones with muscled abs, and biceps that you can’t wrap your hands around. Anyone who is even remotely like me – (a.k.a) a disgrace to you – have pale skin, like a phantom’s, from hiding in a dark lair that is our room, and don’t have the body shape your saliva drips for. Maybe I will disappear. by Katie Barber, Goose Creek, SC poetry Route 114 i told her i’m not gonna give it up so easy: she must remember it was all mine to begin with ii. in which i love too quickly, and in all the wrong ways god i want a voice – a mind – that won’t snag itself on a hurricane (and i’ve always thought i look so much prettier with such sharp tears boiling in my eyes) iii. in which i am a crumb in an infinite sky i look myself straight in the face and i say, “you are not a goddess, you are just a girl,” but there is something aching in me that begs me to believe that i am wrong, and another something aching back that begs me to believe that i am right; and i take a breath in and i am harmony, and i take a breath out and i am entropy and i take a breath and i take a breath and i take and i take and i take and i take, but i am empty. by Tess McRae, Columbia, MD Art by Seth Ives, Albuquerque, NM O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 39 poetry A Casket on Sproat Avenue Her teeth are clawing their way out from her gums and her skin is rotting like the apples in her fruit bowl. Decay dusts the drapes, lives in her broken clocks, crawls down through the floorboards, like the blood dragging itself through her veins. Her calla lilies are hanging their heads in defeat, petal carcasses littering her Persian rug graveyard. She says she prefers her piano out of tune, says it makes her feel better about the way her bones clank together in their own cacophony. She keeps radios in every room turns them up loud hoping the Morning Edition will drown out the sound of the shovels digging this grave. by Paige Gilberg, Pittsburgh, PA Poem Tea I make tea from concentrated poems Just as one would make art From dried plants and herbs. by Elisa Frattaroli, St. Lazare, QC, Canada Broken Star She is an angel A tiny broken star Small and plump and pink Curled like a cat With jumbled limbs Waiting Beneath folds of linen Her breath remains in her throat Lungs full and heart slow Counting her seconds Biding her time Faking She bursts forth Tangled in linen Tossing sheets aside Heart in her throat A vessel reanimated Escaping Foreign bony fingers Grope through darkness To an empty crumpled sheet And footsteps by the door Of the full-nerved carcass Going Startled like a rabbit She dives into cold air Beneath a bold and endless sky Beyond the known world Into the vast and extraordinary Living The Skin You Hate Soil’s Souls That you’re so desperate to crawl out of, Reminds me of that sweet honey you love so much. It makes me think of sunlit sand, and most times I wonder How a simple pigment can create such a universe Of a person. The trees tingle, then shiver at the wind’s touch soft and full of breath. by Kyla Hollenback, Alexandria, IN And the leaves trickle sweetly clinging to kin Autumn A cool breeze rushes through the air, my body trembles. I look up to the light blue painted sky, a smile spreads across my face. The vibrant leaves are falling around me, lighting up the sidewalks like a flame. Children are running through the patch of auburn, finding the “Great Pumpkin” in the field of hay. Dragging the Mars like fruit toward their grinning parents, and gaining their wanted approval. The crisp air is broken by a brisk mist of rain that drops from the sky like tears floating through space. Doorbells ring with children on the opposite side, muttering the words “trick or treat” looking up at me, and beaming. The kitchen becomes filled with random family members, my heart warms, fighting the slight breeze cracking through the open window. I feel my senses flourish, exhaling summer and breathing in fall. by Emily Parente, Cooper City, FL I Keep the Things That Scare Me Secret I keep the things that scare me secret, Because I am supposed to be Fearless Courageous Infallible. That was my role. Vulnerable Was never in my vocabulary. That is, Until you came along. But now, The only thing that scares me Is the thought of losing you. by Hannah Kinne, Chestertown, MD O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 Tiny skeletons torn lifeless to shrunken spines A picture, lovely and frozen at one’s heed Gripped in metal memory But long gone are these gentle leaves Second children to a tree’s fertile seeds Souls which do not ascend crumbling at mother’s toes Still they lay against their kin now collapsed within their skin Sprinkled over rocks and stones But too do they shape another mother Upon her belly they enter other souls Deaths of flesh and bone and wooden veins From them grows their mother’s soul. by Mara Harwin, Tucson, AZ Photo by Alyson Welling, Nova, OH Teen Ink • Soon, they rest at mother’s feet resting in humble defeat From which their mother grew by Neve York, Kent, United Kingdom 40 Brothers and sisters, fevered in yellows and oranges staining fragile skin There goes the one you were dying for The one you told your secrets Confessed your sins to Expressed your joys And only wanted love in Return There goes the one worth crying over When they told you they Couldn’t do it any longer And It’s not you, it’s me We just don’t seem to fit There goes the one you would have died for Holding the hand of someone they told You not to worry about As they look at you – No, Right through You. by Aydan Rolph, Newton, KS all i remember ginseng balm from shangri-la (100% natural extract, no preservatives) When blood-flowers burst on the linoleum tiles the daughter sneaks out amid the bitter words Soon gone, like yesterday’s milk-curd dreams She navigates under the swollen moon, humming skirts the drunks, in their newspaper jackets fishing for luck in stale kirsch brandy The bridge with the kissing strangers, her brother smoking silver ash wood with the lovers; he counts each heel-toe step, like an ariette to The apothecary, its verbena tang sharp and door hinged open like a cadaver’s secret tonight she slips through its fish-pale belly And with ten raggedy bills, she buys a packet of wishbone needles and a spool of candy floss thread and a tin of balm, $4.67 – carefully the daughter smears it across her collarbones, light green on freckled skin all i remember is the blinding white lights that pierced my eyes and your voice telling me “we’re home” She thinks her heart is a chapel adorned with silk roses; smiling, the daughter strokes her dimes by Isabella Tolbert, Jacksonville, FL my words With Him The rocks at my window ring loud with truth Of the boy waiting outside In the cold, Wet autumn. He sits there, on the hood of his beat up red pickup That never seems to start. I race outside, To meet him There, in the bed of the truck is his dog Named after a cat Calico, it is Poor dog We get in the truck and drive along the road The rocky cliffs by The water Cool, water When we stop I put my head on his shoulder And his hands play the guitar With ease. Simple song. The moon smiles down on us, keeping me calm With the last few moments Of the dusk I kiss him The song repeats, but he’s blissfully unaware The sweet, sweet melody Keeping me grounded In the truck We start to drive again, back to my house. Before my parents find out I snuck out With him by Bekah Haas, Cedar Hill, MO by Jacqueline He, San Jose, CA Bathtub I’m filled with hope, introspection, disappointment – a cesspool of her soul. I’m a Saturday-night refuge, a safe haven for the weak one, for the sickly model who didn’t make Vogue. I’m the waste basket for Rabelaisian nights, licentious lingerie, the smudges in her record, a broken record, record, record, record … I’ll forever repeat in her mind. Trodden to a pulp, she retreats one night into my arms – my scalding, wet arms. Clear liquid cascades from her bloodshot eyes, gore flooding from her puling wounds, from her fearful heart, into my recesses. I wish I could help her, that shame-faced Barbie doll, lipstick slathered across her bony cheeks, imperfections oozing from her skeletal silhouette. But I’m hollow, a chemical lake of porcelain and stainless steel – I’m a muffled drain that runs from the Federal water supply. poetry Confronting a Ghost by Clayton Bass, Mobile, AL My words my words my words what the hell even Are my words, I don’t know they’re Messy like my hair, perpetually mussed, and They smell like lavender because it’s My favorite color, they seem to have the kind of Texture as an open field, grassy and full of Life, and they sound like the ringing bells of a Funeral march, marching along just Going and going and going until they reach the grave. by Hannah Newcomer, Austin, TX Hackneyed If you say you’re violently in love with me, Would you kill someone for me, Even yourself? Would you maim, Pierce, Slice, To get to my love? If you say you’re madly in love with me, Have you gone insane for me? Do I plague your every thought, Until you’re muttering my name like a mad man? If you say you’re deeply in love with me, Are you drowning in your love? Are you breathless at the thought of me, In so deep that you can’t remember when I didn’t have your love? If you say you’re falling in love with me, How far down are we talking? Is your love a bottomless pit, Or does it end somewhere? Will you keep falling forever, Or is there a place where you’ll suddenly stop And your bones will crack with the impact? by Lucy Zheng, McLean, VA Photo by Liz Ferguson, Lafayette, NY Through the Abyss Auburn-hued yellow leaks through the stardust in the gap of light Where tiny stars sprinkle golden flames into the darkening gloss of sky And moon reigns over the creaking bookcase and the dark blue wall And the little dust ball that curls inside the cracks like a tennis ball. Gazing into the deep black hole of starlight, And the silver stars that sleep outside in their silent might, I stare into the abyss, travel through the prism of doom, And wander, starry-eyed, in unimaginable bliss. by Emma Ukwu, London, United Kingdom O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 41 poetry Moths shallows To Her We were moths with paper wings and twitching, racing insect hearts. she’s thunderstorms; like rushing blood and crushed bones there’s a sense of numbness eating me, yet I feel everything from your tears on my lips to the thunder of your heart, like roaring storms and colliding lights He sees ghosts, but not with his eyes. He sees them with his ears and his hands and his eyelashes. He sees the ghosts of unspoken words and unwritten letters and uncried tears. But there never was a ghost that haunted him more than the thought of what they could have been. They’d kept us in jars for years feeding us less every day, until we learned to live off air alone. It hadn’t bothered us though until they let us go and the whole world unfolded like an open palm, slipping secrets into the wrinkles of time and the crinkles between our eyes and now we too could see life in color. The half-melted orange the horizon turns just after sunset, the half-thawed indigo just before sunrise the way the sun-burnt sky bruised and turned crimson that night we climbed to the top of the theatre rafters and just sat there as the sky peeled away to reveal ugly gray streaks like tire marks and the splotchy red of your cheeks when you tried to hold my hand but missed and barely caught my thumb. Will I chase my days down with them? The memories I carry on paper wings. Will I wear them every day now, like perfume? Drink them greedily like poison? Even as your twitching, racing insect heart stops beating – Your blood pumps through them. by Allie Pitchon, Buenos Aires, Argentina Art by David Baker, Shenandoah, TX 42 Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 by Samantha Hang, Sterling Heights, MI Counterfeit Art His head was bowed, his body stilled, like a stone statue, And his heart – achromatic, devoid of the vibrant color it once possessed, His eyes were downcast as well, varnished with unshed tears, Stained with a bloodshot hue, vermilion, the perfect blend of pain and denial, His arms were drawn tight, folded protectively over his chest, A shield protecting empty armor, an image of something that once was full of life and love. Bones jutted out from under taut skin – Their hatred had been like turpentine to his body – And his skin was pigmented with dark impressions, Impressions made at the hands of those who supposedly still owned their hearts, His hips too, decorated with the same contusions, had become a canvas for the strokes inflicted upon him by another’s brush. He was counterfeit art. by Stephanie Brugh, Evansville, IN Hallucinations I dreamed that night, Afraid that I’d see you in my nightmares. Wave upon wave of stars and planets crashed over me as I slept, Drowning me with space. Space. It was the only thing I thought I needed. by Isabella Tolbert, Jacksonville, FL Lonely Moonlight The branches grafted onto the varying trees whispered sour somethings into my ear. The air pricked my skin and even though I have wandered here for ages I am still not accustomed to the biting cold and the never-ending darkness that looms. I wish I could call this place my home since I spend more time here than I ever have in that setup stage in apartment A3. But a home is supposed to make you feel safe and it’s impossible to feel safe in a place that never tries to keep you alive. This mind of mine isn’t a fair one, and the things I’ve thought up here cannot be undone, but I will try to fix this mind of mine, one pillar of moonlight at a time. by Caitlyn Carroll, Souderton, PA by Megan McFarland, Attleboro, MA The Growing Myth After the gardens and before the marsh Into the meadows and around the ponds I tread around those flowers harsh With boasting petals and cursing little wands “I should find myself in the daisy’s ruff,” I say. “Or in the rose of blood, love and countless names” Perhaps the gardenia’s creamy scent upon my gruff Or the orchids’ bodily fatale will bring me fame Eaten, plucked, or wilted, still with perfection they entice But what of these skinless, spineless, sordid things That suck my light and taunt my height And so the wind in my soul did sing Deceitful delicacy thrusts onto the papers Of puffed and brooding monarchs of word Who proclaim beauty to be in the nature Yet decree my nature to be absurd Somewhere out there, over the rainbow, beyond the sea flawless goodness glimmers But what about the quality of me? by Zahra Hasanain, Orinda, CA Shadow of Ambition If your arms, mapped with veins, to your sides rest, Then the sky is no tyrant, nor man’s rage. But for sun, skin aches, success conquers jest, And it’s those who strive that find space a cage. When wants slaughter needs the culprits are dreams, That steer you away from the path in sight, Until life is mundane, no longer gleams; Reality turns an abyss of night. It is then you see it’s despair you crave; Your goals confine but there’s nothing ahead, For this race for success ends with your grave, And your fantasies have made you misled. Thus in your haste to take flight in a day, Your unmade wings chain you down, to decay. by Nathalia Gonzalez, Bucharest, Romania The slight lift of the mouth that da Vinci captured skillfully has baffled mankind for centuries. Could it be, as philosophers speculate, a reflection of every human’s innermost desire. In short, a reflection of human nature? Or maybe the scientists hypothesized correctly and it’s simply a malfunction of the eye that causes the smile to morph as a watchful gaze shifts to a more casual sidelong glance. Finally, after years of speculation, debate, scholarly discourse, disputes, and hypothesis, da Vinci speaks from the grave. The smile is, perhaps, not as most people believe, a sly smirk of omniscience. Instead, if you look closely enough, you can almost see that it is the restrained chuckle of the woman whose painter said, “Se si starnutisce, si prega di starnuto a posto”– If you sneeze, please sneeze in place. by Cathy Nie, Livingston, NJ Zipper a beaten zipper worn, torn teeth missing as a child’s are its smile broken damaged, empty as is mine by Isiah Lakshman, Chilliwack, BC, Canada The Gulf of Alaska I’ve heard that In the gulf of Alaska There are two oceans; One light and one dark That meet, But do not mix And it made me think Of us, And how we Come so close Only to be separated Again And again Like the tides of an ocean. But I’ve also heard That eventually, The oceans Both light and dark, Do mix waters, Maybe only a few mere drops. I hope that one day We do the same. by Jade Banks, Amherst, NY poetry Mona Lisa’s Laughter Crumbling to Ash I Haiku. Do You? New Teen Ink Haiku Contest Enter NOW to win! Deadline extended to Oct. 31st. Winners receive prizes and will be featured in our December issue. www.TeenInk.com/submit Hera’s Bent Hammer Cast down your haughty eyes on the one you bore by your own graces from desolate hate; Hera, your womb sealed a god’s course of fate without father, but you? You did abhor flesh and blood of power and deemed monstrous. Did he fall to the earth, or was he sought by hand, tossed the dice of life Thetis caught and made him to dwell safely on Lemnos. What queen despised, a sea-goddess took note passion amidst pain, but without bloodlust. He toiled to find favor with kindred trust and thus gave enemies weapons made raw. And Olympus welcomed his esteemed gift, rather than godlike qualities adore; With a passion for beauty he asked for Athena, but was left well broken – miffed. A lustful wanderer made to cover but Aphrodite was beaten, soon known by trapped passion; wit and revenge, alone, sprung humored ropes of shame upon lovers. He was unamused, for love entangled his heart to craft a beautiful, masked sin, and Pandora rose to grieve earthly men by a scarred soul; a cracked past being filled, being born from the absence of love made him pure – with talent; And, one can connote it was you, Hera, of which Homer wrote failed to see value in a son now praised. It was not Ares or Hebe you named “A shame and disgrace to me in heaven,” yet who is more esteemed by gods, by men? But the passionate, crippled Hephaestus. All that burns must crumble to ash, All that speaks must once fall to silence. All that is glass must finally smash, And all who love must have guidance. All that lie must finally tell the truth, All that cry must soon have dry eyes. All that muse must submit to their youth, She who dies will irrevocably rise. All that deplore must transcend in time. All that manifests must disguise. All that lay bare will surrender to crime, All who deny will demonize. All that cease must have once endured. All that console must depress, All at peace must have fought war. She who conceals must confess. All that crawl must walk once more. All that scavenge find what they’re looking for. All that try will try yet again, All who say eleven can do it in ten. All that rebel will eventually obey. All that builds up will release. All that surrender will allay, She who dies will be put to peace. by Jessica Vaughan, Carroll, NH Ribcage Poem Wrapped around my ribcage, stutter-shook and spinning slowly around my skin, tattooed black and blue, armor of my collapsed lungs which shudder as they search for air, for lucid consciousness which escapes my addled mind and breaks my every bone. by Liliana Tomlinson, Simi Valley, CA by Karlee Renkoski, Springfield, MO Partiality angles A fond gaze pierces through her blatant lies, She’ll never blend with the other faces, For her desperation has been gracious, A relation the strain of time defies. She’ll never blend with the other faces, The brief glimpse of trust she feigned, I despise, Their honesty has cowered in disguise, For her desperation has been gracious. The brief glimpse of trust she feigned, I despise, Mirth keeping us shackled, she erases, Space I stole in her heart, she replaces Their honesty has cowered in disguise. Mirth keeping us shackled, she erases, We pitifully clutch our withered ties, For I’ll never move past her, I surmise, Space I stole in her heart, she replaces. if you took the edge out of a storm, you’d be left with a blank film; no soundtrack of droplets, no lightning cracks of conflict, no romance from air steeped in rain. so if you wiped away your childhood scar, laced your back up straight, turned down the volume knob on your opinions and cried a little less – what would you be then? if you softened all your angles would you tell your story well? by Vamika Sinha, Gaborone, Botswana by Tania Haque, Chicago, IL O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 43 poetry Take the Chains Off Me The Birds A Lot of Pet Peeves You trying to cage me, Has utterly enraged me! Me being angry, Doesn’t give you a right to chain me! At my old school, the girls would smoke cigarettes and cough up their lungs and swear at the kids who passed by, and stare at the art in the halls made by freshmen which was very beautiful, but it didn’t have meaning. I love most things, The lead of fate, But here’s a list, Of things I hate: I hate the people, Who think they’re great, I hate bad homework, Long over late, I hate over-actors, I hate moments meek I hate noisy pants, And sneakers that squeak, I hate bad fashion, Over-long sleeves, Come on, let’s face it, I gotta lot of pet peeves. I hate eerie noises, Fork on a plate, 3D scratching, I hate, hate, hate, hate! I hate drafty windows, I hate creaky floors, I hate when the wind blows, Out under the doors, I hate sticky tile, I hate losing threads, It’s hard to hate candy, But I dislike Lemonheads, I hate the troublesome, I hate bother-pests, I hate failing any Grade, quiz, or test! I hate watching movies With really bad thieves, So I guess, let’s face it, I gotta lot of pet peeves! I could keep going, Though we’d be here till dawn, ’Cause the list keeps going On, on, and on! So let’s wrap it up, ’Cause nobody knows Where it could stop, So, here we go! I hate spiders, People too literal, Beetles, Stinkbugs, Insects in general, I hate breaking limbs, Though that takes guts, I hate most injuries, Worst of all, paper cuts, I hate loud speakers, A bad colored bruise, I hate when there’s little Bark chips in your shoes, I hate things out of order, Sweaters of wool, I hate water glasses, Half empty or full? ’Cause you sure can’t be both, People see different views, HALF EMPTY OR FULL?! You just have to choose! I hate bad quarrels, I hate bad friction, I especially hate those With bad indecision, I probably sound Like hate leads me astray, But it don’t, And I hate that you see me that way! Brainwashing my people, Thinking our skin color is staining! Only way to truly learn my history, Was through silent paintings! Why can’t ya’ll be straight with the public? Why can’t you tell the truth? Is it because these artists might, Put ya’ll on blast inside the booth? I finally broke this BS mind control! How does it feel, knowing I broke the formation? Sixteen year old, angry black male, Speaking against this white supremacist nation! by Josh Cook, Greensboro, NC Let Go I met a girl with eyes of the summer sky. I met a girl with hair like bonfires on a summer night. I met a girl with a heart of molten gold and a soul too old for her age. The fire burned brighter with each passing day. It wrapped around us, searing, blinding, burning. We stepped forth into the golden haze, her hand in mine. The flames consumed me, The embers embraced her, The light danced around us. The fire blazed. It burned. It scorched. It destroyed until nothing was left behind. Sliding her hands out of mine, she let go. by Aydan Rolph, Newton, KS Devastation on the Dessert Sea I see you crawling through the sea pale hands grasping shortbread-colored crumbles of wet sand with a face marred by peachy coral scratches and cuts from raspberry-juice-spurting sea creature clashes; In my clacking coconut bones I know that you’re coming for me, lime seaweed slime foaming at your cotton-candy mouth and a necklace made from strawberry sea glass adorns your candy-cane curled neck. your sodden molasses hair, long enough to travel along the ocean ground switches high above the berry waves in the howling steamy translucent wind your eyes, like licorice pools filled with sparkling rock candies, deeply impressed in latte skin like a gingerbread man glare through the smoking air, clouds of fragrance, sweet-tart an aura I cannot see but can smell and feel surrounding me hitting me in my cherry heart so I falter hands and knees fall in plummy tide, tugging chocolate legs out to sea I scrape and cry on desserted land to the ears of no one but the great beyond, that this crawling chase must end as almond hands blanched by the sea grab my soul and surrender me. by Chloe Cramer, Ithaca, NY She stepped out of the fire, leaving me behind. And never looked back. But she vanished into the dark oblivion. Black. Charcoal black. I only see black. Stirrings of gray ash, wisps of her ghost, siftings of quiet moonlight. Quiet ticks. Eight hundred. Eight hundred hours. Eight hundred hours ago. She held my hand and whispered, “Let me go.” by Penny Pham, Ho Chi Minh City,Vietnam 44 Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 Photo by Gabrielle Bremer, Carlton, MN by Brigitte Chenevert, West Linn, OR I sit in a bag of oxygen, decompressed and freeze-dried in Zip-Loc plastic. I wheeze in the rubble, the dust, the sliced asphalt. I think of the umbrella in the back seat and wonder if the fabric stretched like the airbag, like a skydiving parachute. I wonder if my phone between my legs snapped in half, the screen a spiraling spider web, wonder if it’s buzzing because of a phone call or because of the bees it caught between the cracks. Maybe that’s why my limbs ache, my knees shake. Your mouth is moving. Wonder if you’re pretending we’re actors in a silent movie or maybe I just can’t hear you screaming, realizing you’re alive, a vibrating beehive stinging with silence. Heave in, out. The air’s as coarse as the store-brand cotton balls my sister likes to reserve on the bathroom counter for “reasons” I cannot name. Make-up purposes, she claims. But what’s the point of make-up on an already-perfect face? I construct two-lane roads down my trachea and eliminate the speed limits and the indecisive traffic lights. I blink green, yellow, red, SLAM – I inhale the poison so it rushes down the right lane, swelling in my tangled veins; it’s rush hour now, 70 degree weather, overcast, the radio woman spouts out thoughts she pre-typed in her mundane brain. Remember that time I stayed home sick (you blamed the lightning) and coughed my thunder into the sink? You held my hair back, concerned, yet obligated to be. Do you remember what love feels like? Soft coos tickling your eardrum, warm butterflies scurrying over your lungs. I remember shivering in my pajamas, standing in my doorway and mulling over the reasons why you weren’t home. The west calls to you, singing your favorite lullaby, but the east is my peace, the sunsets panting against ocean-blue water; I love it when the sun is breathless and she warns us that the world is going to wobble on its axis, that the clouds are stretching their nimbus fingers and prying open their crusted eyes. But what if everyone’s compass is a lie? On the dashboard, Terrible Silence Gentle breezes flow Silent deaths are on the wind Cries unforgiven by Everet Nestripke, West Jordan, UT Dreamers Photo by Kaitlyn Day, Wakeman, OH the electronic panel blinks east, then west, then east again. I blink lazily and notice your hand is on fire. I thought one time: What if I stuck needles in my hands and claimed I was Jesus? What if I pinpricked my faith, crucified myself to show you I can die for your sins, too? Your hand is on fire. Oh God, the dust, the cotton balls, the asphalt, the umbrella, I can’t breathe, my lungs are heaving, squeezing, reeling for a parachute; I clutch the door handle between trembling knuckles and I stumble outside, tumble over my bare feet, clutch my stomach, hurl it down into the grass as someone holds my hair back, concerned, yet obligated to be. by Hannah Butcher, Lake Worth, FL we were all static hair and black holes as eyes and our smiles were synthetic; baggy sweaters our state of equilibrium; rebellion and sensitivity the anthems we bled by and all we were was ripped-up blue jeans unsure limbs, starry eyes that saw everything broken trophies like our dreams we felt like we were well on our way like we were different from everyone else like we were destined to become something from the lines in our palms and the things that we wrote that we wish we had the guts to say we snuck knowing smiles at each other and talked about our childhood, how we mutually disliked the word “therefore,” deeming it pretentious, when we were ironically the epitomes of ostentation wishing on shooting stars, plucking petals absentmindedly, staring up at the thunderstorm clouds, we called ourselves dreamers when we were really all the same poetry Respiration and Other Obligations by Jennifer Dong, Uvalde, TX Remember This I gather treasure At my feet Prying rocks, shells Beach glass From the grip of sand And hold them, Glittering, in my hands The hoard Of a flightless ocean dragon. Archives by Siena Larrick, Youngstown, OH You go to a museum to see objects of the past. Things that once were, and now will always last. To see what made Earth our Earth, To see what gave humans our worth. You look inside your mind to search your memories. This seems a simple task, a feat that’s completed with ease. It takes more than curiosity, it takes more than that to start, Looking in your memories for the contents of your heart. Archives gather dust, as does a precious moment. They may not look the same, you may not even know it. But locked away inside those vaults, those cabinets, those shelves, Are the things our ancestors left us that help us to find ourselves. Ringing by Hannah Gelband, Succasunna, NJ by Hunter Smith, North Augusta, SC My phone lit, began To buzz, and that was the sound Of a second chance. by Miah Owens, Shrewsbury, United Kingdom Hollow but Animated This woe plaguing me now shall not cease – the fruition of my mere existence is a bitterful thing; the lump, sequestered within, persists on pulsating to the rhythm of inner slippage. My veins consist of nothing more – howbeit, there is contentment. O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 45 poetry eyes like multiverses the ugly album I. we’re sitting on the edge of an overturned rain barrel. he is looking at the sky and i am looking at him. “it’s beautiful,” he says, face turned upwards. The sun is a white hard burst of: you, it seems, as it is always you, like a symphony you sing your chorus, weeping willows and twisted envy. The bare numb chasm of my hand touches yours, sensory receptors burn like a club in my stomach. I wake up with something mean inside of me, a curling fugitive resting in the slope of my belly. This falseness of your skeleton, embedded, picture-by-picture, the moments play out, and the crisp white sun blinds the page, my eyes are dug out, and there is a splash across my face. Where I am? Where I am? I am in you, in your mouth, in your soul, into the tendrils of your youth. I am in you, in your clothes, in your words, into the pretty smiles you have sown. Bloody hell, I am in you, like a torch, I am burning your insides, quietly, and you do not know, cannot heed – i nod. the sky reflected in his eyes is black and vast and starry, a singularity in his pupils, a multiverse in his retinas. the moonlight plays across his skin, and his lips are slightly parted, as if he’s hoping to taste the stardust, hoping for it to explode like pop rocks across his tongue. “look,” he says. “andromeda.” his finger traces the space between the stars, painting an abstract connection. “pisces.” he looks over at me, smiles slantedly, recklessly, before he reaches out and takes my arm. i yelp, panicking, but he’s ignoring me. he’s taking a sharpie and connecting the sunspots that dot my skin like cookie crumbs in milk. thin black lines crisscross my arm. “ursa minor.” II. “all things come from stardust, and to stardust all things return.” he is stardust now. he is (was) a comet, (or a meteor, i never quite understood the difference.) he is (was) a supernova, exploding into colors that seared the inside of my eyelids. he is (was) a black hole making obsolete my gravity so i fell into him and all that he is. (was.) III. sitting in science class, i bite my tongue. i clench my hands into white knuckled fists. the teacher points at the whiteboard; she traces the shapes of the stars and says their names. traces his stars. she has no right. she has no right to trace his stars, to speak their names in the same way he did (except different, so so different). shehasnorightshehasnorightshehasno – they send me home early, something about a nervous breakdown. IV. i’m sitting on the edge of an overturned rain barrel, 46 Teen Ink • O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 Art by Alice Yuan, Murrieta, CA and i’m looking at the sky, and i’m realizing that it does not belong to me. andromeda does not belong to me, and pisces does not belong to me, and ursa minor does not belong to me. because i never really looked at the sky, did i? the only sky i saw was reflected in his eyes. the only moon i saw was shining inside his skin. now that he is stardust i see the heavens for what they really are. molecules. atoms. scattered clumps of dust. the constellations don’t exist. they are nothing but a construct, a heavy-handed fairy tale created by presumptuous humans with their sharp pencils, playing connect-the-dots. i didn’t wash my arm after the last time he traced the constellations between my sunspots, but it faded over time nonetheless. just like all things fade until there’s nothing left but memories of lips that taste like stardust, eyes that shine like multiverses. by Icarus di Angelo, Chesapeake, VA Canvas I have always wondered why true art is not valued as it should be. And why our city is full of the vapid designs of outsiders locked inside breathless white museums, marveled at by the rich and blind. Our art is not something to be bound by tiny glass boxes and the walls of a stifling showroom. It is bigger. It is the sweat on our backs And the composition of the pain we have felt. It is the unheard story of our city, that can only to be told with truth on a concrete canvas by the spraying of a can. by Rebecca Cook, Gilford, NH I set out to destroy. The arch of your mouth and the glitter in your eyes, under a dark canopy, cheeks full of air, and the torch has burned to ash (a swath of dragon-red). You are no longer winning. I touch your hand and smile, like a traitor. You never were winning. Not when it came to me. by Dhara Bhatt, Hamilton, ON, Canada Cradlesongs feuds in the night – my cacophonous cradlesongs – keep my eyes wide shut by Lexy Courneya, Columbia Heights, MN Handwritten Some letters have a pulse. I can tell these special ones apart by the way the paper breathes and the way the C painted on the envelope curls around like a gentle wave. I know that handwriting with my eyes closed. Your words are like a window into the apartment across the street. For a second the curtain is pulled back and I see a little bit of your soul. I see the worn couch where you sit to count the tiles on the kitchen floor and pick at the stitches in the leather. You count the seconds on the clock but your lips are moving too fast. The cup of tea you made to calm your nerves sits cold on the kitchen counter. You are dissolving. And when you glance at me I catch reflections in your eyes. I am floating in the waves of your writing. For a moment I can feel your heartbeat before the current pulls you away. If I could send you healing in the mail I’d write to you every day. But for now all I can do is say I’m sorry for your loss. And once I wrote back to tell you that I miss you – I sent it to my own address. by Cammie Keel, Boulder, CO Oxymoron give give give My thoughts are an ocean That I simply cannot fathom Into words Sand between my fingers Sun in my eyes Rising Rising It’s October There’s a mosquito bite on my leg And a scarf about my neck Such contradiction There are days when I want to give myself in any way that I possibly can when I’m too tired of being a whole person (problems are more easily solved in parts) mouth, nails, pads of my fingers peeled or ripped off, I want them gone, pushed into a safer body than my own (yours), cupped in hands that don’t quake, that let go of Body and Mind on purpose sometimes when they shriek and writhe too violently to hold on to give give give give (please take) any piece of me that you envy, pick apart spiderweb red veins, bird bones, brain matter, my kindness, my love for your heart, sugar coated, honey, use your hands like rusted shovels and dig into me, through me, uproot me, crack open my ribs and pull until there is a hole wide enough to fit yourself inside, and if not, let me give you my legs, and my hips, and my throat (tear them into beautiful ribbons) I want to give you enough space to live comfortably inside of me, nestle yourself against my bones, let me give you my chipped frame, my marrow, paint a Lover more vivid in between the spaces I’ve given to you sustain yourself on the pieces I’ve left out for the taking, devour what I’ve shunned – I can be your favorite jigsaw, baby, let me give. Then gone with the tide No matter how hard I try To express All these pent up emotions I end up building sandcastles That crumple Never a Michelangelo masterpiece That withstands the test of time A notebook gathering dust A swirl of emotions gone in an instant And not a single idea to show for it. by S. T. Fuller, Powhatan, VA Bees Ouch – she’s been stung with the not drop-dead-gorgeous, more like hopelessly less-than-average looks. She hates the sticky icky yellow adipose and blackheads she’s been given. She starts to listen, then follow, then worship the diet tips the others buzz about. They say it’s as sweet as honey to be thin. She soon learns skinny is better than slim and that’s better than thin. Because the skinniest ones are the queen bees, the not-so-little lazy drones. There’s a reason there’s only (size) one queen in the hive. And she wants to be it – the best, the worshiped. She becomes like the bad, who swarm home to their computers to share their stats and review diets. The inches around her waist start to come off like the pollen bees take from flowers (making them prettier too). Until all the good flowers in the garden have been plucked, now there’s nothing but bones left. by Talitha Degraff, Far Rockaway, NY The Fall of Cuauhtémoc I was born from the spitfires. Speaking 10 words a second since age four, I could curse with the best of ’em and still maintain my rep as the Catholic sweetheart. I come from the women who kept their last names. The ones who wouldn’t marry. The “Who the hell you think you talking to? You gon’ learn today.” Wachale, they don’t fight fair. They’ll catch you at the car wash, come up from behind, pull hair and leave you reconsidering your relationship with God Do you know who I am? I’m the Aztec thirst for blood. The rattlesnake wielding eagle. The second coming of Quetzalcóatl. I’ve got the pride of a god. And you, with a silver tongue and the false love of those Moctezuma thought were seres divinos, know just how to make a Malinche out of me. To calm my onerous nature and turn my howl into a whisper. Grow Falling silver drops Descending from dark heavens Caught in arms of earth by Naomi Meeks, Rockfalls, IL by Kyle Fitzpatrick, Martinez, CA The Rainstorm Sunrise and Fluorescent Lights There’s a reason most bees don’t even live a year long. The remains are only some beeswax turned to candles that only makes the relatives wonder why their little niece did this to herself. These bees stand for the skinny b****es who look hatefully pretty in their profile pictures. These bees stand for developing bulimia and binding calorie limits because you want the yuck inside you out as much as you want the yuck on the outside off too. These bees stand for being hopelessly full of blah and bleak because you eternally bad-mouth your big, bulky body. Watch out for bee stings. You might be allergic. by Maura Sheedy, Pittsburgh, PA by Genna Coleman, Cherry Hill, NJ let leaves fall for when they do, and the pain of letting go gives way to the relief of dead sorrows lost, you will be at peace. Bare but at peace. With this we will live, and grow on together rooted deep beneath it all – by Charles Morris, Saginaw, MI poetry Writer’s Lament I know you much rather prefer the company of books and nostalgia and old souls. On the outside, I am all New Age and shiny metal and technology without a manual. Do you ever think, as I find myself doing when I ride the train and walk through walls and find you in the musty tree house of your mind, that if we were intertwined, we could dominate the world library by library? Photo by Mabel Roberts, Bandera, TX by Sarah Bridgeport, Columbus, OH O C TO B E R ’ 1 6 • Teen Ink 47 Poetry Anthology ~ Poems by teens who have mastered the craft ~ “The avid teen bards have seized the day—making their presence felt in poems by turns buoyant, pensive, funny, funky, prickly, snappy, stirring and all intensely alive.” ~ David Barber, Poetry Editor, The Atlantic “Leave This Song Behind is a robust, exceptional collection of diverse young people stretching, playing with, and recrafting the genre [of poetry] in a refreshing, compelling way. The contents of the anthology— arranged invitingly and using teenfriendly language—welcome multiple readings … Most important, this anthology energizes young people to try their hand at writing poetry, too.” ~ Kimberly N. Parker, PhD, President, New England Association of Teachers of English Available at Amazon.com, BN.com and bookstores everywhere.