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VOL 5 ISSUE 8
*TheHighSchoolforthePerformingandVisualArtsNewspaper
A Letter From The Editor
By Chandler Dean
To the dedicated readers of paper*,
In addition to being a Happening chair, the vice
president of the International Thespian Society, a regular
irritant on RPVA, a 90s animation enthusiast, and the
winner of Parker Elementary School’s Fourth Grade
Spelling Bee, I have been editor-in-chief of paper*
for this school year. In that time, I have overseen
our newspaper’s coverage of events (and gossip)
surrounding HSPVA, Houston, and the world, nudging
the focus of our newspaper ever closer toward satire
through the unique perspectives of our student body
and poorly photoshopped inside jokes for all to enjoy.
There are many people without whom this
year’s paper* would not have been possible. First,
thanks to the contributors to our budget, which, other
than laziness, has served as the greatest obstacle to
regularly publishing paper*. These contributors include
Mrs. Carter, the English Department, Mr. Alarcón (the
highest fundraiser in this year’s pie-eating contest),
and anyone who contributed to paper* in any monetary
form. Next, paper* thanks every student who produced
content for us this year. This includes those of you
who said ridiculous things near Mrs. Cardenas that
ended up being featured in Overheard at HSPVA.
Mr. PVA himself, Kevon Johnson Bradford, deserves
accolades for creating and operating paper*’s website
(www.hspvapaper.com), expanding our audience from
this cold, gray building to the entire world.
Penultimately, I would like to thank the students
who have been dedicated to paper* for the entire
year -- this year’s incredible staff of managing editors:
Zoie Brown, Graeme Campbell, Ian Estes, and John
Guttman. Each has brought unique skills to the table
(literally, the kitchen table at Ian’s house) that make
paper* far more successful than I could have imagined.
And finally, thanks to Mrs. Cardenas, who gave me
this opportunity in the first place, spearheading the
advancement of paper* when she’s not rushing to meet
a yearbook deadline, coaching
our Name That
Book team to victory, or
calming down
the confused students
attempting
to make progress on Ms.
Ballard’s
research paper. (After all,
that was us
just one year ago.)
It’s been a great
year. Enjoy this last issue
of the 2013-2014 paper*
-- that is, if it gets
delivered on time.
Chandler Dean
Editor-in-Chief
2013-2014
Ready to Run this Town: A Junior Reflections Article
By Natalia Kian
In precisely one year, HSPVA’s junior
class will be right where the seniors are now
– ready to graduate. That should freak you
guys out.
It’s been three years. At 147 strong, I
think it’s safe to say that things are starting
to heat up for us juniors. I think what I loved
most about junior year was feeling like our
class owned the halls. Seniors weren’t so
scary anymore, freshmen were the right
amount of scared of me, and sophomores
were… sophomores. It all sort of started to fit
together like I wanted it. And that’s a luxury
junior year has to offer: the confidence of
senior year blossoms before the nostalgia
and finality start to set in. I tried some new
things and at last started to see who I am
as a student and as a person. There was
definitely some PVA magic going on there.
Not to mention, this year has been
a lot calmer in terms of academia. Sure,
my theatre assignments, requirements
and commitments definitely moved to the
next level, but there’s something refreshing
about the academic attitude of junior year.
Teachers move beyond the training stage of
drills and study-habits and begin to require
that one keep track of his knowledge more
than their worksheets. The AP College
model sets in and students finally start to
get an idea of where they’re headed. I think
it’s safe to say that my junior classes have
affected my thoughts on what I want to
study in the future far more than those of
other years, although that might have to do
with the fact that I’ve been bombarded with
mentions and questions of college which
have slowly increased in frequency over the
past eight months.
Ohh, right. There’s the stressful part.
But back to the magic. As Bingham
once said: “I think the sophomore to junior
shift tends to amp up maturity levels in a
big way.” Only Worley will be surprised
when I say that Bingham was right as usual.
As I watched my classmates and myself
discover a new kind of confidence, I loved to
see that with that came a powerful sense of
ourselves which made us that much more on
top of our game. Plus, we all finally started
to realize what made our class distinctive
and important to HSPVA, and that we had
something to uphold in that legacy. We’ve
come into ourselves in a big way, and our
(somewhat) increased maturity is one major
aspect of that change.
Now, I know this year’s seniors
won’t agree with me, but as a message to
sophomores - I think the tables have turned
in terms of difficulty. If it hadn’t been for
the insane, crazy, constantly overpowering
workload of sophomore year, I know my
junior year would have been a far rockier
ride. What was once the easiest year of study
at HSPVA has now become the hardest,
and what was once the hardest has become
something along the lines of a breath of
fresh air. If you had a hard sophomore year,
it made you ready for the year to come. Let
this year be a celebration of that readiness
before senioritis sets in and the decisionmaking process comes on full-force. Trust
me, it won’t last long.
In fact, none of this has lasted long.
I remember my first day of freshman year,
walking into the Black Box and getting
a lesson on how to leave my problems at
the door like it was yesterday. I’ve thought
about that a lot this year, and I think I finally
understand it. Putting the stress behind me
for eight hours a day wasn’t so easy under
the weight of a sophomore year I wasn’t
expecting, but that stress was a lesson in
the challenges I faced this year. I can finally
walk through the red doors every day with
my shoulders squared and a smile on my
face because I have faced the monster and
know when it needs addressing. Sure, I’m
tired, stressed and high-strung – but I fake
it till I make it (Thanks, Mrs. My-Name-IsWachs-Now). And in a school like ours,
making it is just the next great adventure.
Congratulations, Class of 2014, on
your achievements. I can’t tell you all how
grateful I am to have looked up to you guys
all these years. And to my juniors: Let’s
all have the great summer we deserve,
because running this town is going to be the
greatest adventure yet.
Sophomoric Reflections
By Sam Linda
Sophomore, in Greek, translates to “wise fool”. Looking back on our year, I
definitely think we lived up to the latter half of that name. I have created a list of
thoughts, regrets, and pleasures that accompanied sophomores this year.
• No matter how badly we thought we were doing in WHAP, because we sat in
Bingham’s class and soaked up the knowledge, the worst score we could get on
the AP Exam is a three.
• Teachers are people too; they don’t just exist to torture us and make us feel badly
about ourselves. Some of them have great stories and backgrounds. They also
give up at the end of the year like we do, to an extent.
• I forgot what a good night’s sleep feels like...I probably should have slept more…
• A vast knowledge of World History replaced my ability to maintain a conversation
with another human being.
• I’m seriously halfway done with high school? Nope, I’m definitely still like a
seventh grader. At least the struggle is 50% over…
• There’s no way it can get harder…(but in the back of our minds we know it will)
• Does this mean I have to…you know…start looking at colleges? Crap.
• I’m super happy that I wrote for paper* (and you should too. Look how happy it
made me).
• Being able to drive legally is a blessing. So convenient.
• Netflix is a gift…wait…curse…no…gift. Still, I’d rather watch an episode of Bob’s
Burgers than read a chapter of Strayer.
• Having Ms. Meyer’s challenging curriculum two years in a row and surviving
proves that anything is possible.
• I finally made friends in other departments and discovered that there’s a whole
world out there.
• I truly experienced what a ratchet day was during the ten day countdown to our
first AP exam…can’t wait until we have four in a row.
• Frozen provided the theme music for this year.
• While first world problems are a real thing, like preparing five monologues and
six songs in one weekend *cough*, there are starving teens somewhere who’d kill
to fill our shoes.
• Seeing Dirk’s close represented the end of an era at PVA.
• I should probably do some sort of physical exercise; I walk up the stairs in the commons to discover I’m sweating profusely.
In retrospect, this year has been one of growth (physically and mentally), good times, and bad times. Even if we too are through
with PVA at this point, and want to pack our bags and go to college already, we have to remind ourselves to cherish the time we have
here; it’s the only high school experience we’re going to get, and we’re already halfway done, so we better make the most of it.
Fresh Finish
By Olivia Cardenas
Recently, I was bombarded with countless Instagram
pictures from various eighth grade dances. I can hardly believe that
this freshmen class was experiencing all of that just a year ago. We
were immersed in a different world. Some were dreading leaving
their old friends behind; others were happy that they were finally
escaping the overly perfumed and greasy hallways of their middle
school. Fast-forward a year, and freshman year is pretty much over.
I’ve finally adjusted to the checkered floors. They no longer give
me headaches, and I haven’t tripped up the stairs in a couple of
months.
High school is no longer a foreign concept. We’re living it.
We’re a part of it. And in a couple of days, we will officially be 25%
done with our time at this school. This doesn’t fill me with anxiety or
excitement. It is what it is. How quickly time moves is all a matter
of perception, and what we make of our time here is a matter of
choice.
We’re here for another three years. That leaves us with an
abundance of time to make new friends, excel in our art, and become
even more sleep deprived. I don’t mean to go all high school musical
on you, but “we’re all in this together.” So let’s help each other out;
let’s be friends; let’s support each other’s artistic pursuits. For a
lot of people, PVA is more than just a culture shock. It’s a talent
shock. For the first couple of months, I would walk through the halls
and leave Happenings feeling incredibly talentless and sometimes
discouraged. But it’s this feeling of inadequacy, inspiration, and total
admiration that pushes us all to be better, and this is the feeling that
will drive us to inspire other freshman someday. I’m proud of us
all...we’re no longer over-highlighting de Blij or stressing out over
making friends. PVA is our home now. And it’s a pretty good place
to be.
Don’t Let Them Eat Cake
HSPVA Students Will Literally Eat Anything Lying Around the Commons
By Chandler Dean
‘‘I feel like if I eat
any of that cake,
someone will take a
picture of me and put
it in the newspaper.’’
-Ronson Hawkins,
Theatre Class of 2017
Astute observation,
M r. H a w k i n s .
Other than public
humiliation, it seems
that there is nothing
that will stop people at HSPVA from eating whatever food is
lying around. The likelihood that this will happen seems to have
an inverse relationship with the healthiness of said food. Donuts,
cookies, pizza, candy, and cake are all doomed to disappear if left
unattended. paper* observed this disturbing trend and wanted to
see how far students would be willing to go to eat whatever they
find around the school. Thus, we left a half-eaten cake with assorted
forks on a table in the commons just before passing period and
waited to see who would bite. Unsurprisingly, several students did
the deed.
The pattern went as follows: a student would wander into the
commons, see the cake, look around to see if whoever owned said
cake was visible, eat part of the cake, and quickly scurry away. The
#1 culprit in this case (and as usual) was Sharif Stallworth, Jazz
Class of 2015 (who came back to eat more cake at least seven
times), followed closely by Augi Liebster, Piano Class of 2017
(whose deer-in-headlights-esque expression upon seeing us take
his picture demonstrates his guilt beyond a shadow of a doubt).
Notable aspects of this story that make it particularly gross
include the fact that people used the forks we provided in spite
of there being no clear indication that they hadn’t been used, and
those that didn’t use the forks just straight up grabbed some cake
with their hands. Meanwhile, one interesting trend was that students
who were already wandering in the commons during class anyway
were far more likely to eat food that didn’t belong to them.
In conclusion, it is clear that HSPVA students are shamelessly
hungry individuals that fend for themselves when cake is involved;
this much we probably
already could deduce.
However, paper* has
learned a valuable
lesson: if we want to
catch people eating
randomly
assorted
food,
we
should
probably be a little
more inconspicuous
than looking down
upon the commons
from the second floor
with multiple cameras.
paper* would
like to thank
the Dance
Department
for always
supporting
us...no matter
what.
Terri Brown: School Store Lady
By Graeme Campbell
Mrs. Brown, otherwise known as the
“School Store Lady”, is the backbone of
HSPVA. She represents stability at a school
where every day is filled with ups and downs.
HSPVA students can count on her and the
whole team of school store volunteers before
school, during lunch, and after school to buy
a forgotten book for English class or to make
their snack dreams come true. The beauty of
the school store is not only in its consistency
and its variety, but also in its prices. Where
else can you get so many items for 50¢ that
would otherwise cost a dollar or more from
the vending machines that never quite work
right anyway? Plus, when we patronize
the school store, we get to enjoy the warm
smiles of our parents and friends, get just
the item we really wanted,
and give back to the school
all at once. To find out how
she makes this win-win-win
scenario happen, I decided to
interview Mrs. Brown and get
the story behind the store.
when my kids were here, there was no store
and I saw the need for it. I just saw the kids
forgetting things and the parents having to
bring it up to school for them. My whole idea
initially was school supplies, but one of my
original co-chairs had worked in the Lamar
school store and said if you’re going to make
any profit, it’s in the food. And she was very
right. She was very right.
Dr. Karpicke (HSPVA’s principal
at the time) was very approachable to me
because I had been PTO president, worked
with senior classes, and been at the school
for years already. So I told him what I wanted
to do, and he thought it was a good idea.
We ended up picking out the place under
the stairs here at the front of the school. We
What is the busiest shopping day of the
year?
The busiest days, that I hope will get
busier, are the back-to-school orientation/
registration days when students come get
their lockers and textbooks. We try to sell as
many school supplies as possible on those
two tax-free days. We usually sell around
$25,000 those two days, but we need to
increase that because when we sell those
taxable items (sweatshirts, books, paper),
later we have to send tax money to the
state. This year we’re paying $1500 in taxes
that could have gone to the school if more
people had purchased their supplies during
the tax-free days.
When were your kids at HSPVA, and what
did they study?
My daughter was in the Vocal music
class of 1994 and my son was in the Vocal
music class of 1997.
How did the school store get started?
I started the store in 1999 because
Do you have any advice about school
store etiquette?
HSPVA kids are absolutely the best
kids in the world. I tell everybody all over
town. You never hear “you cut in line” or “I
got here first” and there isn’t any shoving.
Most of the time if kids get to the front and
they don’t know what they want, they say
“I’m not ready, take someone else first.” The
only thing I don’t like is when kids come up
on their cell phones. I’ll just ignore those
cell phone talkers until they get off the phone
because that is rude. But I have
very little of that anymore.
So, I have no complaints about
you guys. You’re all polite,
you’re pleased, you say thank
you for doing this.
What has made you volunteer
this way for 15 years and
continue doing it?
That would be because I have
no children at home. When my
children grew up and graduated,
I adopted 680 more. I love the
school. I love the students. I
just want to see all of you guys
happy and successful, and
that’s why I do what I do.
What are the most popular
items?
Hot Cheetos, bagels,
sandwiches, and Gatorade.
Least popular?
We don’t have least
favorite items because if they
don’t sell, they get phasedout. We will likely phase out
Sun Chips because they can
only be sold after school (to
meet health guidelines) and
they aren’t the most popular
chips.
at the band camp that takes place at the
school over the summer. If any food is left
after that it goes to a food pantry so nothing
gets wasted over the summer.
were much smaller at that time; we only had
one table. Where our big, metal rolling cart
is now, there used to be payphones on the
wall, so we could only spread out so far. As
you guys have asked for it, we have added
more and more items to the store.
Most importantly the school
store profits between $25,00030,000 a year that all goes back
to the students.
HERE IS A LIST OF JUST A FEW OF THE
DONATIONS THE SCHOOL STORE HAS
MADE IN RECENT YEARS:
Music: 6-7 pianos, various other instruments,
and money for guest artists.
Where do you get all the food?
Theatre: Re-rigged stage curtains, new
Most of it comes from Sam’s, office copy machine, and miscellaneous
Walmart, Marchant Mart, and other vendors technical equipment.
and grocery stores. Every Sunday morning Visual Art: New kiln, 5-10 digital and 35
the first thing I do is look at the ads in the non-digital cameras, storage drawers, art
newspaper for loss-leaders to see who lab computers, and equipment.
has what on sale cheap enough that we Dance: New tap floor, sound equipment,
can sell it and still make some profit at the and money to hire choreographers.
prices we have set. With the Snapple that Creative Writing: Three digital cameras.
you guys like so much, neither Sam’s nor Library: Furniture, two digital cameras,
Costco carries it all the time, so we order green-screen and the paper* laptop.
an entire custom-order pallet with 50 cases School: Maintain and repair school ice
and my co-chair, Mrs. Mellon, stores it in her machine.
husband’s warehouse until we need them.
During finals week in the Spring, we So next time you stop by the school
have our half-price, buy-one-get-one-free store, be sure to thank Mrs. Brown, Mrs.
type sale to clear out all the food items we Mellon, and all the volunteers, then pat
can’t save over the summer. Then whatever yourself on the back for helping out the
is left over we let the band department sell school store and all of us.
The Counter Culture of HSPVA
By Paris Bezanis
As the year wraps itself up, I, like many of us, am looking
at this past year in retrospect. Aside from the atypical cringing at
first semester grades and trembling at the mere mention of second
semester grades, I found myself thinking about the fluid creature
that is HSPVA’s student body. The six art areas we have (there
are six now, right?) bring together an incredibly diverse student
population, drawing from practically every nook and cranny of
Houston. As a result, we have kids bringing in all kinds of ideas
about style, politics, and ethics. However, aside from the imported
melting pot we have, there is another element of our HSPVA culture:
that of the 3dgy artist. Thousands of years of artists starving and
living in cardboard boxes under bridges in metropolises across the
globe have effectively removed our breed from common culture.
We thrive in that which is different, unexplored, and peculiar. It’s
in the nature of creating after all. This goes beyond the “hipster”
culture which has manifested itself in the popular culture of the
United States; as many of us at HSPVA are considered avant-garde
even in comparison to the counterculture of other schools. In this
constant striving for independence and uniqueness, is it possible
we have become uniform in our abnormality? Not entirely, but it
has created an unprecedented reality. With our norm so “out there,”
the thing that stands out the most is frankly, *hissing ensues* the
mainstream. That’s right, we are so funky here that the only thing
funkier is the rest of the world. The world outside the perfect bubble
that is HSPVA does occasionally leak in, and when it does, it sticks
out. External world ideas, everything from conservative politics,
new clothing, sports, to basic hygiene are all found out on a limb
here. Occasionally, they even inspire debate, if not a second glance.
The mainstream has made a full circle and come all the way back
around as HSPVA’s beatnik culture. It seems the only true hope
for absolute uniqueness here lies in a return to the world we all so
eagerly turned our backs on…the mainstream.
Fond Farewells
By Charles Anderson
Sayonara Sanders
Jesus Palomino. Where do we begin? While
many of us are having him for the first
time this year, Sanders has been a
part of HSPVA for several years.
From being a US History teacher to
tackling Government and Economics,
Sandman can add to his resume that he knows
lots about ‘murica and that he can easily B.S. his
way through teaching any course with great results
from his students. Though usually very driven when
leading his students through curricula (of which he
has TWO), Rolland (rhymes with “Holland”) has
a tender side seldom seen in the rush to the AP
Exams. Catch him on an off period and you will
find him unwinding as old jazz and soul bleed from
his little jank jukebox in the back corner.
Where else will we find a balding, middleaged white guy listening to Earth, Wind,
and Fire while trying to teach Keynesian
economics and numerous graph curves?
I have never seen a man so willing to ‘‘turn up’’ at
a day job as much as he does. And alas, the funky
beats of his favorite tunes have rubbed off on
him, for he is headed for the hills of the live music
capitol of the world: Austin. As that one guy from the
presidential primaries said, ‘‘YEEEEEEEAAAAAUU
UUUUUHHHHHHHH!!!!!!’’ Sayonara Sanders. You
will be missed by all of us here at HSPVA.
Adios Aguero
Dr. Hector Aguero has been the
backbone of the HSPVA
Symphony and String
Ensembles for quite some
time now. An aficionado
of classical music, he h a s
conducted his students through
some of the greatest repertoire
ever written. From the mystical
‘‘Scheherazade’’
to
Brahms’s
daunting first symphony (and yes,
he is watching) to the anthemic
ninth symphony of Beethoven, we
have seen and played it all with
him. He has managed to keep it
‘‘right together’’ through some of the
toughest pieces that a high school
symphony has ever attempted to play.
His evening of choice is sitting on
his couch with his family, listening to
Hindemith whilst partaking in a course
of several Filet O’ Fish sandwiches
from McDonald’s. While he will hopefully
maybe be sad about leaving his position
at HSPVA, Dr. Aguero will be headed to
Oregon next year, while hoping to avoid
Portland. He visited there once; after
being stuck in line at Voodoo Donut for
an hour and being barraged with crazy
clown antics and awful folk music up
and down the streets, he will likely
never choose to visit there again.
Kinda sounds like the average day at PVA, don’t it?
The Doctor Is Out
By Renée Piper
On June 3rd not only will the illustrious class of 2014 say goodbye to HSPVA,
but so will Dr. Richard Robbins, whose reign as resident encyclopedia and side
tracker in the Vocal Department is conveniently in sync with the current senior class.
Among his many achievements here at PVA, Dr. Robbins conveys to his students
many anecdotes about his youth, managing to both eat up ample rehearsal time
but also produce “snappy ensembles”. Unbeknownst to Dr. Robbins (or perhaps
beknownst), his intelligence demands reverence from all students. It is a recurring
observation of non-vocalists that his snazzy arsenal of glasses only demands
further respect. Although our time with him was short, many treasured moments
were had (despite his talent at finding tangentially relevant information and spending
significant class time on it). Freshman year speech class with Dr. Robbins was quite
literally a crash-course in getting to know my new classmates. I cherish many of
the stories shared there, whether they were completely precious to the speaker or
ridiculously inspiring (exhibit A: “BE the bumblebee!”). Despite Dr. Robbins’ cool
façade, students inevitably resolve to ingratiate themselves into his life, like during
a Madrigals trip in 2013 to the Robbins Residence, when Dr. Robbins learned what
it would be like to have EVEN MORE kids (he currently has five). Despite all the
laughs, when students heard the news that Dr. Robbins would be leaving, many were
shocked. The news traveled quicker than the bubonic plague due to the disbelief
of the Vocal Department. Hey, it even managed to sneak its way into this issue of
paper* (that’s journalism, folks!) Current and former students who had hoped to see
him upon returning home from college will miss Dr. Robbins to an incredible degree.
But the consolation of it all is that Dr. Robbins will live on through the halls of PVA
through his legacy of Mexican River-Rats, Can-Eating Creepers, and salon-quality
hair.
Senior College Destination Map Notable Statistics:
Compiled By Graeme Campbell and John Guttman
46% of HSPVA seniors are pursuing their art area
in college. Here is a breakdown by art area:
Visual: 54% of students pursuing major
Theatre: 52% of students pursuing major
Dance: 43% of students pursuing major
Instrumental: 41% of students pursuing major
Vocal: 39% of students pursuing major
45%
of HSPVA seniors are staying in Texas for
college; 18% are staying in Houston for college.
These schools drew the most HSPVA seniors:
1st place:
- 12 students
nd
2 place:
- 11 students
3rd place:
- 6 students
Where Are They Going?
Class of 2014 Future Plans
Senior // School or Alternate Plans // Intended Major
Compiled By Graeme Campbell
1. Dylan Allen // Point Park University // Jazz Dance
2. Violet Allen-Glass // Texas A & M University - Commerce // Industrial Engineering
3. Isabel Amador // Butler University // Ballet Performance
4. Kristina Amenson // Texas State University // Undecided
5. Charles Anderson // The University of Texas at Austin // Electrical Engineering
6. Carlos Armstrong // Oberlin College // Neuroscience
7. Marilyn Arnold // Saint Louis University // Theatre/Psychology
8. Davíd Azagury // Carnegie Mellon // Music Performance - Percussion
9. Katinka Barragan // St. Edwards University // Photocommunications
10. Taylor Barry // Marymount Manhattan College // Dance
11. Taylor Beal // Southern Methodist University // Biomedical Engineering
12. Zoe Betancourt // Miami International University // Fashion Merchandising
13. Misty Birtcher // Southern Methodist University // Vocal Performance/Opera
14. Michael Black // University of Texas at San Antonio // Undecided
15. Courtney Blair // Stephen F. Austin State University // Elementary Education and Music minor
16. Breasha Blaylock // Texas State University // Kinesiology
17. Kimmi Breece // University of Oklahoma // Broadcast Journalism
18. Elizabeth Brown // Texas State University // Math and Special Education (double major)
19. Zoie Brown // Washington University in St. Louis // Double major in Studio Art and Environmental Studies
20. Graeme Campbell // The University of Texas at Austin // History
21. Saqqara Campbell // Louisiana State University // Psychology
22. Ethan Cantu // Webster University // Costume Design
23. Robby Carty // University of Texas at San Antonio // Health and Human Performance
24. Roger Castañeda // Houston Community College // Undecided
25. Jaron Chan // Texas A&M University // Physics
26. Gus Ciotti // Gap year, then Laguna College of Art and Design // Game Design
27. Morgan Clay // Louisiana State University // Marketing
28. Kearin Cook // Pratt Institute // Communications Design
29. James Cooper // The Colburn School // Music Performance
30. Paul Cornish // University of Southern California // Music
31. Shylah Crowder // University of Northern Colorado // Undecided
32. Sara Cunningham // Santa Fe University of Art and Design // Contemporary Music
33. Willow Curry // American University // Anthropology
34. Amy Davidson // University of Houston // Business/Accounting
35. Chandler Dean // Fordham University at Lincoln Center // Political Science
36. Jeremy Dorsey // The University of Texas at Austin // Chemical Engineering
37. Adam Elkhadem // Columbia University // Art/Biology
38. Ian Estes // University of Denver // Mechanical Engineering
39. Colette Eymontt // Southern Methodist University // Political Science
40. Matt Flanders // University of Miami // Music Performance
41. Adam Floyd // Manhattan School of Music // Clarinet Performance
42. Hazel Fricke // School of the Art Institute of Chicago // Studio Art (Painting)
43. Taylor Gaines // Carlton College // Psychology (Concentration in Neuroscience)
44. Emily Gittins // The University of Texas at Austin // Piano Performance
45. Dillon Glass // Southwestern University // General Studies
46. Greg Goedecke // University of Houston // Music Performance in Voice
47. William Graham // Stevens Institute of Technology // Mechanical Engineering
48. Montana Gray // Gap year // Continue my art and discover the universe
49. Fernando Grimaldo // Pepperdine University // Musical Theatre
50. Travis Grosscope // Baylor University // Voice (Church Music)
51. Izzy Guerrero // University of Houston // Liberal Arts
52. Chris Guidotti // School of the Art Institute of Chicago // Studio Art
53. Brittany Gutierrez // San Jacinto Community College // Art and Business
54. John Guttman // The University of Texas at Austin // Undergraduate Studies
55. Reina Harper // Jacksonville University // Dance
56. Alehtse Hernandez Torres // Brigham Young University // Nursing
57. Nancy Hicks // Minneapolis College of Art and Design // Fine Arts - Sculpture
58. Courtney House // Blinn College // Music Therapy
59. Tiffany Huff // Houston Community College // Undecided
60. Alyssa Jacobs // Northwestern State // Accounting
61. Peter Jalbert // Rice University // Clarinet Performance
62. Libby Jasper // Webster University // Acting
63. Ivy Johnson // School of Visual Arts // Illustration
64. Kevon Johnson Bradford // University of Texas at Dallas // Computer Engineering
65. Dieudonne Kabongo // College of Creative Studies // Transportation Design
66. Danielle Kao // Trinity University // Studio Art
67. Cody Kenner // Emerson College // Film and Television Production
68. James Kerley // School of the Art Institute of Chicago // Studio Art
69. John Koozin // The New School // Jazz Studies
70. Katia Krupa // Colorado College // Psychology
71. Caroline Kuffner // Houston Community College --> Evergreen State // Art/Psychology/Sociology
72. Finn Kuffner-McCauley // Gap year // Working and going to Japan
73. Iris Lacsamana // University of St. Thomas // Double major in Communications and Drama with minor in Theology
74. Madelyn LaLonde // State University of New York at Purchase College // Dance
75. Kristen Lawton // The University of Texas at Austin // Computer Engineering
76. Marissa Lee // Point Park University // Jazz Dance
77. Jacob Lehman // Oklahoma Christian University // Electrical Engineering
78. Chi Leong // University of Texas at Dallas // Economics
79. Cristian Lopez // Houston Community College // Undecided
80. Gabriel Maffuz-Anker // Rice University // Violin Performance
81. Jonathan Maislin // Trinity University // Communications
82. Stacey Markos // Houston Baptist University // Vocal Performance
83. Ruth Marshall // Seattle Pacific University // Accounting
84. Kirby Martino // Maryland Institute College of Art // Art History & Illustration double major
85. Rebecca Maset // The University of Texas at Austin (waiting on Rice University) // Undeclared
86. Lewis McAdow // University of Houston // Vocal Performance
87. Hunter McEachern // Nebraska-Wesleyan University // Musical Theatre
88. Jack McInerny // Arizona State University // Biology with a minor in Anthropology
89. Jarred Mckinzie // University of Texas at San Antonio // Electrical Engineering
90. Rachel McPherson // University of North Carolina School of the Arts // Stage Management
91. Richard Mendoza // Texas Tech University // Chemistry
92. Hope Miller // Santa Fe University of Art and Design // Contemporary Music
93. Meghan Miller // University of Houston Honors College // History
94. Angela Montante // Louisiana State University // Public Relations
95. Courtney Morgan // Southern Methodist University // Music Therapy
96. Olivia Mulder // Trinity University // International Studies/Chinese
97. Anja Nichols // California State University - Northridge // Music Industry Studies
98. Cassie O’Sullivan // The University of Texas at Austin // Physics and Plan II
99. Amy Oden // Pomona College // Undecided
100. Blake Opper // The New School // Jazz Studies
101. Juliana Orepo-Orjay // Prairie View A & M University // Mechanical Engineering
102. Sebastian Orozco // Wharton County Junior College // Business
103. Joe Perez // University of North Texas // Jazz Studies
104. Stephen Perkyns // Rice University // Music Performance
105. Jamie Perry // Royal Academy of Music, London // Violin Performance
106. Renée Piper // Boston University // Music Performance in Voice
107. Victoria Politte // Rockford University // Acting/Directing (film focus)
108. Andrea Popova // University of Chicago // Theatre Studies/Biology
109. Sarah Portugal // Gap year at BINA (secular yeshiva in Tel Aviv) then Lewis & Clark College // English/Religious Studies/Music
110. Kourtney Prawl // Blinn College // Pre-vet
111. Victoria Price // Undecided // Undecided
112. Marissa Pyron // Southern Methodist University // Vocal Performance
113. James Ragan // Texas A&M University // Biomedical Engineering
114. Kelli Restivo // University of Houston Honors College // Biomedical Engineering
115. Sophie Rhines // Tulane University // Psychology
116. Bluejay Rhoades // Houston Community College Honors College // Undecided
117. Kayla Robert // Prairie View A&M University // Electrical Engineering
118. Elizabeth Robinson // Saint Louis University // Theatre/Business
119. Natalie Rochen // Trinity University // Music BFA/English
120. Pablo Ruiz // Lone Star College // Computer Science
121. Suzuka Sampson // The University of Texas at Austin // Studio Art
122. Elizabeth Sanchez // Parsons The New School for Design // Photography
123. Elizabeth Sandoval // University of Houston // Undeclared (will switch to Engineering)
124. Cabria Scott // Santa Fe University of Art and Design // Contemporary Music
125. Jacob Seferian // The New School for Drama // Dramatic Arts (minor in Journalism)
126. Charles Seo // The Colburn School // Cello Performance
127. Elayne Seynaeve // Oklahoma City University // Dance Performance
128. Asem Shahed // University of Houston // Biology
129. Sherah Shipman // State University of New York at Purchase College // Dance
130. Tatyana Skalany // School of the Art Institute of Chicago // Studio Art
131. Samantha Smith // Oklahoma City University // Acting
132. Jasper Snow // The Juilliard School // Music
133. Cami Sotier // Mississippi College // Elementary Education
134. Joy Spence // Hendrix College // General Studies
135. Felicia Skye // California Institute of the Arts // Dance
136. Jayla St. Julien // Loyola University New Orleans // Biological Studies
137. Caitlin Start // University of Houston // Undeclared, but applying for Creative Writing
138. Dana Suleymanova // The University of Texas at Austin // Studio Art
139. Sidney Tennant // Colorado School of Mines // Engineering
140. Austin Thomas // The University of Texas at Austin // Jazz Performance
141. Jessica Thompson // St. Edwards University // Theatre
142. Noel Velasquez // Texas Southern University // Entertainment and Recording Industry
143. Joaquin Viera // University of Houston // Architecture
144. John Walter // School of Visual Arts (waiting on Pratt Institute) // Architecture
145. Brittany Warren // University of Houston // Architecture
146. Michael Watson // University of Northern Colorado // Undecided
147. Jamie Weiser // University of Arizona // Technical Theatre
148. Alex Wheeler // New York University // Jazz Studies
149. Kameron White // Minneapolis College of Art and Design // Comic Art
150. Maya Williams // Kansas City Art Institute // Ceramics
151. Eileen Wolfowicz // University of North Texas // Social Science/Psychology
152. Natasha Wright // University of Houston // Theatre Education
153. Maxwell Yi // Texas State University // Computer Science/Engineering
154. Gilbert Zamora // The New School // Foreign Language/Theatre
155. Patrick Zapien // School of the Art Institute of Chicago // Studio Art
Una
Día
Exitoso
(A Successful Day)
A Look Back at HSPVA’s First Hispanic Heritage Day
By Mrs. Worley
It might have been while I was eating my
mom’s arepas, black beans and queso fresco
dripping down my cheeks. It could have been
when I heard the first World Cup 2014 commercial
on my way to work, with all its sassy music. I know
for sure that it was after chips and salsa with
Suarez, but before tearing up the dance floor at
prom salsa dancing with Perez. It was definitely
after falling in love with Mena’s enchiladas, but
before the Dynamo game with Landry.
Now I remember!
I ran into Noel Velasquez in the hallway.
That’s what it was. That’s when the idea for the
Hispanic Heritage Day of Awesomeness was born.
We’re both very proud parents. Together, with our
Latin playlists and Hispanic cravings, we hodgepodged a skeleton of a schedule to bring HSPVA
a spicy taste of Hispanic celebration. This was a
chance to spotlight the fabulous intermediate and
advanced Mariachi groups, and Mr. Hoffman
jumped at the opportunity to put together a
few songs as an appetizer for the May 16
Mariachi concert. Aimee Llerena, Ale Blanco,
and Aylyn Muñoz choreographed amazing
Folklorico moves in preparation. The MiniMundial teams came together, and somehow a
random conversation with Noel about how much
we missed our countries and cultures actually
turned into a Friday Fiesta!
And I know for sure that it was after
we looked back at the crowd dancing in the
commons, all following Mr. Perez’s lead to Don
Omar’s “Danza Kuduro,” that Noel and I really
felt like we had appropriately converted our
diverse little school into a Hispanic Haven of
Awesomeness.
¡Muchas gracias a todos, y todos a bailar!
Decrypt the Script
By Elizabeth Martinsen
We all are familiar with the expression “Dot your i’s and cross your t’s.”
However, you may not be aware that the manner in which the i’s are dotted
and the t’s are crossed reveals significant aspects of personality. Recently,
Alice Weiser -- handwriting, voice inflection, and body language analyst -paid a visit to HSPVA and shared some of the magic behind her line of work.
For example, the slant of someone’s writing means something different
depending upon the direction the writing leans. Someone is considered
increasingly emotional the more the writing leans to the right; they are
deemed self-involved if it leans to
the left.
Ms. Weiser received her bachelor’s
degree from Boston University
and earned her certification from
the International Graphoanalysis
Society in Chicago, where she
subsequently taught for twenty
years. Her skills have been used for jury selections, court cases, compatibility selections, and
criminal investigations. If you would like to know more about Ms. Weiser’s profession, you can
purchase her book, Judge the Jury.
See if you can guess which teacher matches each of these descriptions.
A: Loyal, direct, physically active, has a good relationship with female family members, literary
oriented.
B: Good listener, determined, direct, understanding, follows gut feelings.
C: Wants to be understood, clear, good communicator, impatient, determined, cautious before
making a big decision, good helper.
D: Doesn’t like to be interrupted, was sensitive to criticism as a child but got over that as s/he
moved into adulthood, desire for the arts (especially music), loyal, doesn’t miss a thing.
E: Intense, doesn’t understand people who are wishy-washy, can become restless at times,
forgives enemies but does not forget their names, follows gut feelings, always has something
interesting to say.
Overheard at HSPVA
A. Lynley Cardenas, B. Gabriela Worley, C. Wyatt Bingham, D. Virginia Ballard, E. Rolland Sanders
“I didn’t think I was going to be popular in high school because I was
really popular in middle school.
But I proved myself wrong.”
-- Richard “Best Shoulder to Cry On” Mendoza
“Nothing makes you feel more
than using a chainsaw. ” -- Mr. Sanders
“Fernando has such a smooth tongue!”
--Will White on Fernando Grimaldo convincing him to perform
at the Thespian Banquet. Fernando really is a silver talker.
“I’m excited to see what movies win.”
--Grammy Band Member Austin Thomas on the Grammys
“People say that everything in The Jetsons
actually exists.”
--Nick Walton
“I always dance with my fingers.”
--Suzuka Sampson
“He’s got a honky-tonk ba-donk-a-donk.”
--Graeme Campbell referring to the posterior of an unnamed faculty member
Seniority Rules
An Exclamation and a List of Guidelines for Senior Year
By John Guttman
As you may or may not know, the HSPVA Senior Class of 2014 will be graduating shortly after the time you read this sentence.
However, that doesn’t mean neglecting to read this sentence will keep us at PVA. That is an inevitability you will eventually have to face,
Armir Lee and Mrs. Cardenas. Yes, we will be gone, and with us, years of experience and over-confidence. However, the current junior
class is set to assume the throne, and with it, many responsibilities. Not only do all of you have to come up with new alarm codes for the
building, but good luck beating the Class of 2014’s record for superlatives drawn from Mr. Stickney. However, this isn’t a competition.
Next year’s seniors have a long road ahead of them, and they deserve all the help that they can get. I have been self-elected to give this
advice. I recommend that everyone cut out the below suggestions and have them framed above your computer. It’ll provide inspiration as
your eyes frantically search your room’s walls for any distraction from your Julian paper. The following is a comprehensive guide to senior
year:
• Make sure that, during your senior year, you fill your resume with
four years of extracurricular activities. Colleges like to see that
you’re multi-dimensional, meaning that you can go
back in time to do impressive activities.
• Make all efforts to be in the good graces of Mrs.
Stovey. As someone who was not, I can tell you
that using the library’s resources to study can be
quite difficult if you are busy pleading to stay as
you’re kicked out.
• Back to the college thing. Apply to at least as
many colleges as you have letters in your name.
I’m fairly certain that the main criterion for college
acceptance is arbitrariness.
• Get all appropriate vaccinations.
• Complain as much as possible. You didn’t
improve your complaining abilities over
the first three years of high school only
to abandon them when you need them
and others dislike them most.
• Contract senioritis only after all of
your work is pretty much done. The
middle of May is a good time.
• Choose your college based only off
of the quality of their “University of —,
Class of 20—” Facebook page. The quality of the Facebook group
and your college choice should have an inverse relationship.
• Make friends and have fun! After you’ve completed all your
homework.
• Don’t sit idle. The only mistake you can actually make during
your senior year is to think that college is all wrapped up
and senior year is a total waste. Rather than enjoying
yourself (because let’s be honest; that’s no fun), aim
to do as much as you can within reason. Don’t
be ridiculous and try to be valedictorian,
Happening Chair, AND editor-in-chief
of paper* all at the same time.
Can’t be done. Just find a happy
medium. Senior year was by far
my favorite year of high school,
probably because I finally became
involved outside of the academic
realm.
Enjoy senior year! And to all you other grade
levels, stop standing in the middle of the hallways
during passing periods.
Congratulations CLAUDIA HEYMACH
on your
2400 (a perfect score) on the SAT!
I Guess It’s Goodbye?
By Shaikha Al-Mawlani
I remember emailing my audition as a joke. Before making
a portfolio, in a record time of two late nights, I had never written a
serious paragraph in my life, unless it was an analytical essay or
a research paper. I was certain I had ZERO chances of getting in,
and didn’t bother putting in any effort. I was also in the middle of my
first Cambridge GCSE year and was ready to pluck my eyebrows
off, which almost made me not even audition. That would have
been sad.
Since my curiosity always got the best of me, I did
a full-on internet scavenger hunt to figure out what I
had gotten myself into. About two weeks later, I got
an email congratulating me. Like every other normal
14 year old, I called my best friend at 4:00 AM and
squealed “I GOT ACCEPTED TO THE BEYONCE
SCHOOL!” She laughed at
me and asked
me to go back to bed.
Right before my
departure, I met a girl
who went to another
performing arts school
as an exchange student
in the U.S. during 2012.
She told me that it was the
worst experience of her life
and I should try my best to
change schools even before
school started. I was terrified
and almost went through with her
advice.
After the first couple
weeks, I was blown away. I
can honestly say that I was
weirded out to the point of
almost asking to be moved to
Lamar. The first couple weeks, like
every other exchange student, I was
very confused; however, I couldn’t talk about it to other exchange
students because they all went to regular schools that did not give
them three hours a day for arts. They wouldn’t understand my
struggle. The extreme change in school atmosphere didn’t affect
much, but it came along with having to spell centre as center, colour
as color, use inches and fahrenheit, and say “y’all.”
I have probably broken the record of classes attempted
in a year. I attended 13 classes, (English II, English II
Pre-AP, English III, Algebra II, Pre-Cal, Physics, PreAP Physics, AP Physics, World History, AP World
History, French II, French III, AP Macroeconomics)
and was also registered for but didn’t attend three
other classes (Geometry, Chemistry, Spanish.)
And I even have a study lab. I also think that I’m
the only person at HSPVA who was recognized and
documented as both a sophomore and a junior in
the span of one academic year. I’m also pretty sure
I’m the only sophomore exchange student at the
school.
Post an exhausting and eventful year abroad,
with swings as fast as Nolan Ryan’s fast ball,
I realized that I would not have chosen any
other school for my exchange year. Everyone
at HSPVA is special (no sarcasm intended),
and it feels incredibly amazing to be
surrounded by such talented people. Plus,
after this year, I can honestly say that there’s
no fashion statement that would surprise
me ever again. I would also like to take this
opportunity to thank each and every person
who has helped make my year so much
more memorable; even by simply saying “hi.”
Mid-February 2013, I got an email
asking about my willingness to audition for a
non-traditional american high school. Late May
2014, I’m saying goodbye to a school that has
shaped me into who I am today.
Julian Book Breakdown
Don’t Listen To Anything He Says
We’re Serious You Guys
By Jonathan Maislin
Mrs. Julian’s finals are happening, and I have heard everyone beg for me to rescue them from their plummet into failure. Have no
fear; the book recap is here!
Oedipus: Here is Oedipus in a nutshell. He likes his mom. Like, LIKE likes his mom. They marry; he kills
papa. Bing bang boom. It was a beautiful ceremony-- the marriage-- not the murder. Don’t judge. I’d marry my mom
if I could. She is a wonderful lady.
Medea: I love this movie. Madea Goes to Jail was one of the best movies I’ve ever seen.
I will admit, it was a little awkward going to see it by myself, but I strongly recommend it to
anyone who likes to laugh, or is into high-level academic literature analysis. Same boat.
King Lear: This is a standard case of favoritism. The father/king doesn’t believe his
daughters love him. Turns out they don’t and he turns his castle into a giant Chuck-ECheese’s and invites me to party. Well, I skimmed the last bit. The Voice came on and you
know I have to cheer for my boy Adam Levine.
Macbeth: I am sure you are all familiar with the version done on Jimmy Neutron. Wait…you aren’t? You
uncultured swine! It was one of the greatest T.V. shows ever created. You should be ashamed for not being able to quote Jimmy
and Carl verbatim.
Grendel: Well, it is very simple! What’s that? You didn’t read Beowulf? Well don’t even bother with this one. Don’t worry, I
won’t tell Mrs. Julian; she can probably already tell. YOWZA. #readingchecks
Rasselas: The Prince of Abyssinia: Man, they really had a hard time spelling Prince of Egypt. Am I right? It is
basically the Prince of Egypt, give or take a few things. For instance, it isn’t about Moses freeing the Jews from
Pharaoh. It actually has nothing to do with it.
Frankenstein: First of all, I would like to say that this book is very misinformed. It does not match up with Alvin and
the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein very much. I could go on for quite awhile pointing
out the book’s inconsistencies, like how the book takes place in the wrong country.
France is nowhere near Hollywood.
Brave New World: For those of you who are looking for an icebreaker for your
intimate conversation with Mr. Landry, this is it. He has claimed this book is his favorite.
You know what that means: ladies, gentlemen, amphibians…. read up.
So there you go. Now you understand why I’m not only exempt from my English final, but
I actually have a 100 on every 6 weeks...except this one. Damn you Show and Tell! This is J-mais, signing off.
s
k
r
o
p
S
o Grimaldo
By Fernand
FINE. I GUESS I JUST WON’T BO
THER
ANYMORE*
*see issue 6 and 7 for context
Flour Children: The Rise and Fall
By Isabella Jarosz
You have most likely noticed your fellow classmates carrying,
strolling, and most importantly, breaking sacks of flour dressed in
baby clothes. No, this is not some religious order required by a
Scientology-inspired cult; this is a project for those biology students
looking for a health credit for their end-of-year project. None of my
fellow classmates expected such incredible difficulty when handling
these babies, nor the crimes committed involving these flour sacks.
In these last few weeks, the students of PVA have been
busy with re-auditions, finals, and the season premieres of both
Louie and Portlandia. Too busy, it seems, to keep track of their flour
children. One student chose the wrong day to leave her flour child
out of sight. It was kidnapped and held for a ransom of five dollars
by a hopeful baker, threatening to bake the child into a cake. Over
the weekend, it seems as though the child was stolen again from
the flournapper, perhaps by the mother or a biology student without
anything to turn in.
In more shocking news, it appears as though a murder has
occurred on our very campus. No, the perpetrator was surprisingly
not an AP student the day before his exam, but a jovial freshman
thrilled to be finished with his biology project. I came into contact
with the fruity architect of this vile crime, who described to me the
logistics of this misdeed in excruciating detail.
First, he threw the child around with his friend, “thrilled to
be rid of the bonds of parenthood.” He further describes the crime:
“The throwing was unsuccessful, so we proceeded to use our child
as a soccer ball, and that busted it on the second try. Next, [name
redacted] reached into the flour sack, pulled out some flour and
threw it up in the air, singing “Let it Go.” Then, when we were done
with that, we high-fived with flour in our hands and made a huge
white cloud.” Although the implementation of such a horrifying act
reminds observers of ancient Mayan sacrifice rituals, at least the
persons behind this crime cleverly worked in a Frozen reference.
The perpetrator(s) of this crime will no doubt be banished
to work in a labor camp. Or maybe Ms. DiLuglio will just glare at
them really menacingly, which, in fairness, is an equally horrifying
consequence. Either way, I’m sure both the murderers and the
mother of the flournapped child alike have learned a valuable
lesson: just because you have the opportunity to name a fake child
after a celebrity you often make fun of, dress it in your old baby
clothes, and perhaps even tape a picture of Louis CK’s face on said
child, that does not mean these are smart decisions.
*Final Koozins*
n
i
z
o
o
K
’
n
i
z
o
o
l
ollapa
L
in
ooz
n’ K
uzi
illo
Ca
’
n
i
z
n
i
z
o
o
K
Ethan
And that’s not all
Ethan Cantu can Can, Too!
do! Ethan won first
place in the state for
Costume Design at
UIL this year! And
you all thought he
was just a welder.
paperviews*
*in case you care what we think
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
By Margaret Fisher
Paperview Ratings
(CLASS OF 2014 Edition)
SEEEEEEEEEEEEN
IIIIIIOOOOOOOORS
SENIORS!
Señors
Senior Citizens
Sophomores
Worries. So many worries. All I did for the three weeks
preceding this movie’s premiere was worry about the future of this
franchise. While everyone was filling their nerd blogs and their
tumblr pages with exciting Easter eggs hinting The Sinister Six’s
debut, I sat and I read and I worried.
Had everyone forgotten the great Spider-Man debacle of ‘07,
formally known as Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 3? Was no one else
plagued with nightmares of a very weepy Tobey Maguire cradling
a very dead James Franco? Did no one else care to acknowledge
the sassy, bad-boy club dancer that venom-stricken Peter Parker
became in Raimi’s world? Marc Webb was walking the finest thread
of a line, and it seemed that the world was a-okay with that, but I
didn’t understand how.
I suppose, however, as with all natural disasters, the world
accepts tragedy, rallies to repair the damage with a celebrity
fundraiser, then moves on only to remember the pizza parties won
from can drives in its honor or the $5 given to the Red Cross that
you wanted to spend on Starbucks. Luckily, my fears were mostly
unnecessary. Marc Webb pulled through, unlike Topher Grace’s
career post-Eddie Brock. I agree that I should have had more faith
in the genius behind (500) Days of Summer.
That being said, the movie had its faults; the film felt very much
like a comic book (both a pro and a con). Done correctly for a comic
book movie, this is a wonderful thing, especially to fangirls like me who
actually read them, but we’ve seen the other side of this: Green Lantern.
Cheesy oneliners are great on inky panels, but they feel a little forced after two
hours of quip after quip.
No shock, the strongest element of Webb’s wildly successful
sequel was the skill of his actors. We all know Andrew Garfield and
Emma Stone killed it because, well, they did that in the first one, but
I was pleasantly surprised by a strong show from Dane DeHaan as
Harry Osbourne/Green Goblin. I wished DeHaan’s Goblin was a
little more cackly and psychotic, but I’ve chosen to blame the lack of
super crazy on the slightly weak script. As for Jamie Foxx’s Electro...
let’s just say he was the source of far too many electricity puns, but
you know his Max Dillon was intelligent, hurt, and sick of being a
wallflower. He was what he needed to be, and he didn’t overshadow
Garfield. This is always nice, since in this story Peter Parker grows
a lot and needs to be able to shine. I also enjoy having a strong hero
with a substantial but not overpowering villain as we often see in the
comic book movie industry (i.e. The Dark Knight; The Dark Knight
Rises; Kevin Spacey was literally the only thing worth even looking
at in Superman Returns; Thor).
The point is, if you haven’t already seen The Amazing SpiderMan 2, you should. We finally, FINALLY have a Spider-Man and
Peter Parker that keep us entertained and does justice -- TRUE
JUSTICE -- to Stan Lee’s baby, so just appreciate the absence of
Tobey Maguire and gawk at the tangible chemistry and adorableness
of two very hot people with great acting chops.
By Nick Walton
Star Wars: the only frontier. Something so absolutely
massive, not even JJ Abrams’s solar flares can fit the screen. Since
Disney bought Lucasfilm in the Spring of 2013, much speculation
has surrounded who would spearhead the project. Shortly after the
announcement of a new Star Wars trilogy was made, JJ Abrams (Star
Trek, Lost) signed on
to
direct,
with
Lawrence
Kasdan
(Empire
Strikes
Back, Return of the
Jedi) co-writing the
screenplay with him.
While many initially
doubted
Abrams’
ability to lead such an
epic, intense project,
I’ve never once felt
insecure
regarding
his talent. After all,
he is a self-professed
“huge Star Wars fan.”
ASIDE:
In
script readings, actors
sit close to those they
have
connections
with in the film. Ridley
sits between Han and
Leia, obviously their
daughter. She will be
the main protagonist
of the films, to avoid the new trilogy being dubbed a “sausage fest”
once again. END ASIDE.
A big prediction, involving the unpictured Max Von Sydow
(The Seventh Seal, The Exorcist, Flash Gordon): in the Star Wars
Prequels, Christopher Lee played Count Dooku, an homage to Lee’s
famous role as Count Dracula. Going along with this theme, Sydow
will play Darth Plagueis, an homage to his character in the Seventh
Seal. Plagueis is mentioned in Star Wars once, in the conversation
that seduces Anakin into becoming Darth Vader. With so much
control over the dark side, he makes Darth Vader look like nothing...
because he created
him.
Although
Palpatine
killed
Plagueis in a power
struggle, since he
can create life, he can
build himself back up
from the dead using
the force. Meanwhile,
Luke, meant to bring
balance to the force,
finally realizes that
balance
doesn’t
come from defeating
the dark side, but
accepting it. In doing
this, he creates “The
Order of the Force”,
uniting the ways of
the Jedi with the ways
of the Sith. This also
creates the divide
between Luke and his
former friends, one of
them being his twin
sister.
Ultimately, Star Wars doesn’t require more films. But so far,
the crew and creatives behind Ep. VII have made good decisions,
so why NOT make more movies? There’s simply no way now for
them to fall to the dark side.
Star Wars VII: Rise of the Fanboy
Canopy
By Savanna Lim
Canopy | 3939 Montrose Blvd, Houston, TX 77006 | (713) 528-6848
Canopy: you know, that restaurant two minutes away from us? Yeah. I went
there with my dad once. I ordered garlic-infused scallops with arugula-shitakebutternut squash risotto for $25. The texture of the scallops was soft and
succulent with great flavour, and the risotto provided a good burst of flavour
with its balsamic gastrique. The service was friendly and efficient, and the food
only took about ten minutes to arrive. They provide bread and butter as an
appetizer and had nicely arranged cutlery. Great place for a casual get together.
Service: 8/10
Price: $$
Food Quality: 9/10
Ambience: 9/10
Overall: 8.7/10
Paperclips: 4.35/5
For more reviews/food pics in colour, follow my Instagram @sarvarnah.
Summer Movie Preview
Four Movies To Waste Your Time This Summer and Three That Probably Aren’t Worth It
By Liza Anderson
Let’s be honest, after spending ten months in the fray of HSPVA, you’re probably going to waste your entire summer on
Tumblr, movies, and cheap food you’ll regret eating the next day. I know how hard it can be to decide which explosion-filled summer
blockbusters are worth your time and which pants you’ll have to put on to leave the house. All I’m trying to do here is alleviate some of
the strains of having to choose what movies are worthy of your very finite amount of summer, to help you make the best bad decisions
possible, at least in the realm of movies. Responsible citizens, look away.
Good Time-Wasters:
1. Neighbors:
A couple is forced to live next door to a frat house and deals with the impending reality of their maturity
by doing magic mushrooms with Zac Efron (amongst other things). Simply put, this movie is hilarious. It’s raunchy and
slapstick and definitely not the film to see with your parents, but it makes for exactly what we expect out of a summer flick.
It’s clever, quick, invigorating, and Zac Efron takes his shirt off at least a half a dozen times. I would recommend it for those
who enjoy juvenile humor and no one else. 2. Maleficent:
I have absolutely no idea whether or not this movie will be any good. The idea of the film is to present the
Sleeping Beauty story with the focus on the evil queen, Maleficent. The film features a heavily made-up and badass
Angelina Jolie, fairly obvious CGI, and what looks to be several battle scenes ripped directly out of The Lord of the Rings.
Although I don’t have much hope for the quality of the movie, I think it will definitely be a movie worth watching, even if you
only see it for Angelina Jolie’s cheekbones.
3. The Fault in Our Stars:
Based on John Green’s novel of the same name, the story revolves around two terminally ill
cancer-stricken teenagers who fall in love. If that’s not enough to convince you that millions of lonely teenage girls will be
flocking to theaters to see it, then you haven’t been paying much attention the last few months. All mockery aside, Green is
a smart writer, and the casting and direction promise a sharp and (frankly) adorable teen romance film. I would recommend
this to people who enjoyed A Walk to Remember, The Spectacular Now, or anything written by Nicholas Sparks ever. Also,
bring tissues to wipe your pathetic movie tears.
4. 22 Jump Street:
The film features the duo of Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill going undercover yet again, this time in college.
Given the immense enjoyment I got out of the first one, I’ve chosen to have faith in the continuation of the story. We can
only hope 22 Jump Street won’t fall into sequel limbo with such atrocities as the Godfather Part III, all the Matrix movies
that aren’t the first one, and Jaws: The Revenge. Recommended for people who liked the first one (duh).
Ehhhhh:
1. Edge of Tomorrow:
Rule of thumb: if you have to advertise your movie by having your starring actors explain it during commercials
on TBS, then your movie probably isn’t very good. The premise is that (for some reason) Tom Cruise has to die and repeat
the same day over and over again so that the aliens don’t win. (Don’t look at me; I don’t get it). Honestly, the film looks like
the rebellious lovechild of Groundhog Day and Transformers. Aside from obvious logical inconsistencies, Tom Cruise’s
inherent creepiness and the overuse of CGI make the film look pretty boring. Recommended for people who like Michael
Bay and hate culture (just kidding…kinda).
2. A Million Ways to Die in the West:
I apologize to those of you who like Family Guy, but I have absolutely no faith in Seth Macfarlane’s ability to
make a movie. The film appears to be about a goofy guy who has to learn fighting from a gun toting version of Charlize
Theron in order to save the town from a grumpy looking Liam Neeson (why badass Charlize Theron can’t just do it herself,
I am open to people explaining to me). The movie looks to be a compilation of jokes aimed at twelve year olds and a simple
case of trying too hard.
3. Transformers: Age of Extinction:
All I have to say is that I really thought Mark Wahlberg learned his lesson with The Happening.
A Hidden Talent
Revealing Lewis McAdow’s Eternal Presence in paper*
By Ian Estes
Over the course of this year, as our most astute readers may have noticed, the paper* staff has decided to camouflage an image
of Mr. Lewis McAdow’s face into each and every issue of our newspaper. This idea spurred from a conversation during the photoshopping
of current paper* managing editor John Guttman’s face from a photo with Lewis onto a grocery bagger. With a spur of the moment idea,
we made a decision to take Lewis’s head from the original image and paste it onto the photoshopped image. “We should take Lewis’s
head, and move it somewhere else!” Alluding to the Spongebob episode ‘‘Sandy, Spongebob, and The Worm’’, we decided to hide Lewis’s
face into EVERY issue of paper*. Attached is the compilation of our efforts this year. If you have too much time on your hands, see if you
can find where we placed them originally by looking in your copies of this year’s paper*’s (which, I assume, are framed with your family
photos), or by looking through the archives at hspvapaper.com. Finally, we have continued this tradition for one last issue; after looking at
this compilation, feel free to search this edition of paper* for the final inclusion of Mr. McAdow’s cranium. It has been a pleasure sneaking
our beloved Mack Daddy Ow’s head into any nook or cranny we can find for the past year, even if literally no one recognized our efforts.
Issue 1
Issue 3
Issue 4
Issue 2
Issue 7
Issue 6
Issue 5
The True Tale of Christopher Stickney
By Matthew Toffoletto
“ALRIGHT, you guys ready ta DO this?” says the welltoned man from Minneapolis. “It’s time to do some Pre-Cal!”
I’d say Mr. Stickney doesn’t do that every day, but then
again, where else might we get our energy? All that great
calamity, the violent renditions of “Happy Birthday,”
the constant repetition of the phrase “OH YEAH!” in
response to every question. Example: “You guys
got it? Oh yeah. OOOOHHH yeah.”
I mean, this is the teacher who claimed
he could teach an entire class without words.
Words, for God’s sake! But I believe he’s done
it. Or he will, following the old advice of a nonlinear algebra professor— by jumping up at
the board and solving an equation: BOOM!
DRAW A BIG LINE ON THE CHALKBOARD
AND SLAM THE CHALK DOWN! Then
solve the next one: BOOM! DRAW A BIG
LINE AND SLAM THE CHALK DOWN! You
get the picture.
Mr. Stickney still draws big dividing lines in his
lectures. There’s lots of stuff like that, such as
the worksheets he hands out with big Superman
symbols instead of problem numbers. Although it
adds a nice character, it makes navigation a little
difficult. “Hey what problem are you on?” “Uh …
Superman?” “Oh, me too.” I mean, Mr. Stickney
does carry that undying Superman vibe: he drives a
Mustang convertible, and his New Year’s resolution
was something like, “Yeah, I work out like three
times a week. I wanna start workin’ out every day.”
But I think you see it more every time he stops
in the middle of a lecture to give you useful information
about things like how to tailgate a taxi in New York to
speed up your bicycle delivery route.
(Apparently, the trick is to hold the bumper and watch
the driver’s eyes in the mirror. As soon as he looks
up and sees you, ya gotta let go and get into the
next lane over cause he’s gonna try and run you
down or ram you into the sidewalk. If you’re
not fast enough and he sees you, he’s gonna
run you into a street corner and you might
have to spend the weekend in the hospital
instead of going to punk clubs…I forget if
that’s exactly how he ended it, but I can only
assume.)
Either way, as Mr. Stickney will tell
you, salmon fishing is a good career choice
whether you’re making an Emily Blunt/Ewan
McGregor Romantic Comedy/Drama or
deciding to take a break from college-level
academics. “You gotta get out there and see
the world!” he says, and I believe he is right.
His boldly asserted statement that “once you
leave high school, everything just gets better and
better” is one that resonates with us clearly, then
sometimes less clearly, and then clearly again,
and then less clearly, and then after repeating in
that pattern returns to the original state of clarity
approximately every 2π days as it approaches
its minimum clarity approximately every day 2πk
+ π after the original revolution, where k is any
positive integer.
Sage Senior Words of Advice
By Mrs. Julian and Mr. Landry
Four years ago, Mr. Landry and Mrs. Julian came to PVA surrounded by a crazy new environment full of artistic expression. Now,
with their legs under them, these two senior teachers felt the urge to pass along a few words of wisdom as the seniors will soon find
themselves in a brave new world embarking on an amazing journey of artistic, academic, social, and emotional growth.
Life After High School
• Follow your passion and be you! There will be plenty of naysayers along the way, but at the end of the day you are the one you have to answer to.
• In college you may very well be confronted with a professor or class that seems impossible. Overcome the initial reaction to run and stick with it. You will learn more when you are challenged.
• Try something you have never tried before, you may find out that you love it!
• Know when you have taken on too much and learn to say “No.” It may just be a two letter word, but it can decrease your stress tenfold.
• The exams and performances you prepare for are not the end. They are merely opportunities to further improve and grow. One day,
the preparation you have put into each task along the way will give you the confidence to ace that job interview.
• Never stop learning. Always question.
• Refuse to be alienated by your own existence!
• Never eat anything that you wouldn’t want to break apart with your bare hands.
• Remember that freedom is claiming full authority over and responsibility for yourself and your actions.
• Beware of all systems that promote increasing ease.
• Learn the difference between a hammer and a scalpel, and use accordingly.
• Flourish.
In the space of a breath we move in and out of each other’s lives. What a joy to have shared the hallways, the Commons, and our
classrooms with your beautiful faces, your maturing minds, and your ebullient teenage moods and mannerisms. May you look back on
these days with a patient, mature love for the child you once were. We wish for each of you a life filled with all of the conditions that inspire
in mankind excellence and greatness of the human spirit. May your lives be your best art.
What I Miss Most About HSPVA
By Auburn Lee, Piano Class of 2013
“Those were the best of days,” Octopus breathes to nobody
in particular. He grasps tightly the moldy apple he is consuming.
It helps him to remember those halcyon days of discovery and
excitement. “I wouldn’t have traded those experiences for all of
the world,” Octopus concludes. Nobody was offering, and he had
already been rejected from every daycare in Houston.
Octopus is glad that his classmates were such revolutionary
thinkers who were not afraid to go against the grain. He is thankful
that they would have the nerve to engage the teacher in discussion
and even oppose them from time to time. Without them, Octopus
would never have had the courage or the agency to write his
name on his various exams. “I am my own octopus, and it’s
all because of my classmates,” he states factually.
“Of course there was heartbreak now and then,” he
continues offhandedly, “but that’s not what made it special;
there was also the breaking of thoraxes and tibias, of old
books and old souls.” He at first cannot decide if this is a
metaphor or an analogy, but he remembers, and is glad
that he was taught. “Ignorance
is bliss,” he
cries in anguish, “and I am
certainly not ignorant.”
Octopus remembers how
involved and enthusiastic his
classmates were, and regrets
that he did not bake more
cakes or discuss more
television programs. But now
he has a lifetime to ponder
his actions, or lack thereof,
and devote his remaining
years to discussing television
shows about cake-baking. “I
will atone for my sins,” he cries
determinedly, spatula in one hand
and remote in the other.
But if there is one thing that
Octopus truly appreciates, it is his former instructors. “I once had a
papaya for a teacher,” Octopus reminisces bitterly. “These were not
papayas,” he remarks, bitter expression replaced by the widest of
grins.
Octopus thanks Ms. Switek, Ms. Williams, Ms. Ballard, and
Mrs. Julian for having more patience than Patience, the eponymous
hero of the 2010 novel Patience by Lisa Valdez. He thanks them for
teaching him how to write and read, for he had only a rudimentary
knowledge of these things before. Octopus thanks Mrs. Martinez,
Mr. Perez, and Mr. Alarcon for their tirelessness, rivaling humans
before the invention of the wheel. He thanks them for teaching
him the secret of modern life – how to roll r’s.
Octopus thanks Mr. Landry for his discovery of physics and
Mr. Sanders for inventing social studies. Octopus thanks Ms.
Suarez for teaching him that 1984 was incorrect when it said
“Two plus two equals
five.” Without her, Octopus could
not have spotted this
mistake and forever after viewed
George Orwell in a
skeptical light.
Octopus thanks
Mr. Morales, Ms. Bonner,
and Mrs. Childers for making
him the octopus he is today.
He thanks them for biannual
donuts and perennial kindness.
He thanks Mr. Trout, Dr. Allen,
Ms. Morrow, and Mr. Springfield for
their dedication to the school and its
people. He thanks them for allowing
him to have free candy whenever
he drops by.
Lastly, Octopus thanks
all of you collectively. Without
you, your students would
not celebrate the joy of arts
and learning, and Houston’s
population would be 2,161,301
instead of 2,161,318.
Horoscopes
By Jacob Seferian
Aries: College isn’t for you. You should take an indefinite gap “year” and trek across the Sahara.
Taurus: I’d be careful about that economics final if I were you.
Gemini: Congrats! paper* has granted finals exemptions to all Geminis this month. Swing by the library to request the official form from
Mrs. Stovey. It’ll totally work.
Cancer: The answer you’re looking for is in the women’s restroom at Brasil.
Leo: You will ace every final and be accepted into an Ivy League. Then your mom will scream, “Yassss, WERK!” (Oh, she’ll do it. Trust
me.)
Virgo: Stay away from revolving doors.
Libra: Bring extra deodorant to FPSF…you know why.
Scorpio: If you study for your finals this time around, you might actually pass…maybe.
Sagittarius: Be wary of your assigned roommates. They harbor dark and terrible secrets.
Capricorn: Don’t flirt this month. It won’t work. Just stick to Netflix and Blue Bell until June rolls around.
Aquarius: You’ll meet your soulmate in the mosh pit at the Childish Gambino’s concert. Mosh away!
Pisces: Enjoy the last day of the year. HSPVA is a special place.
Which Fashionable HSPVA Senior Are You?
By Katinka Barragan
1. Where do you sit at lunch?
A. Outside sitting on the bench by the flora
B. Slouching in the art hallway
C. By the t-buildings: the best place to build an Instagram empire
D. Outside where you see and can be seen
2. What are your plans for the summer?
A. Fixing up your garden and taking walks at the arboretum
B. Sleeping
C. Partying and dancing with friends on the beach
D. Dreaming about staying at the Hamptons
3. What’s your favorite store?
A. Free People
B. Target
C. American Apparel
D. Vineyard Vines 4. What’s on your summer playlist?
A. Anything Adam Elkhadem recommends
B. Jazz
C. Lana Del Rey
D. Vampire Weekend
5. What store would you like to work at in the summer?
A. A flower shop
B. Rockin’ Robbins Guitar Shop
C. Anywhere on Westheimer D. Gap
6. You have $200 to spend. What do you splurge on?
A. Flower patterned socks B. Food
C. A life supply of jelly shoes and high waisted skirts
D. One shirt from Ralph Lauren
paper
Staff
Mostly A’s
Zoie Brown: You’re down to earth and one with nature. You
like to be comfy to reflect your laid back attitude, but that
doesn’t mean that you can’t look cute too. If you’re like Zoie,
you can’t resist flower patterns, flowy skirts, and some cute
sandals. You have an eye for beauty, and it shows not only
in your style but also in your personality.
Mostly B’s
John Koozin: Just face it, you don’t know why you took
this quiz. You don’t really care about fashion, but
you wanted to see what you would get. Maybe you’re
secretly super stylish. Well, like John Koozin, you’d much
rather prefer a box of pizza than open a fashion magazine.
But no fear! You’re probably super chill and because you use
less time thinking about how you look, you use more time and
energy making people smile just by gracing them
with
your presence-- and pizza.
Mostly C’s
Violet Allen Glass: You’re super fun and a total
teen dream. You wear clothes that reflect your love
of the nineties, Lana Del Rey, and anything vintage.
You love to be different and break the mold of the daily
school outfit and your big smile and sweet personality
attract others to you. And if you’re as lucky as Violet,
you’re probably photogenic and love taking pictures
in your stylish outfits with your stylish friends. You love
parties and dancing which makes you the life of the party
as well as a style icon.
Mostly D’s
Jarred Mckinzie: Only a true prepster knows and has shopped at
Vineyard Vines, but don’t be ashamed; you’re in good company
with the other stylish prepsters of the school like Misty Birtcher
and Saqqara Campbell. You know you’ve been dreaming about
being in the cast of Gossip Girl and maybe you secretly renamed
one of your best friends as “Blair Waldorf” in your phone. You or
your friends own more than one pair of Sperry Topsiders and pink
shorts. And you know you can’t be a prep without a set of pearls to
match your collared dresses. I’m always watching-- xoxo KB.
Editor-in-Chief: Chandler Dean
Managing Editors: Zoie Brown, Graeme Campbell,
Ian Estes, and John Guttman
Artistic Directors: Zoie Brown and Ian Estes
Senior Staff Writers: Charles Anderson, Katinka Barragan, Fernando Grimaldo,
Jonathan Maislin, Renée Piper, Jacob Seferian
Contributing Writers: Shaikha Al-Mawlani, Liza Anderson, Paris Bezanis, Olivia Cardenas,
Margaret Fisher, Isabella Jarosz, Natalia Kian, Savanna Lim, Sam Linda, Elizabeth Martinsen,
Matthew Toffoletto, Nick Walton
Alumnus Contributor: Auburn Lee
Faculty Contributors: Mr. Landry, Mrs. Julian, Mrs. Worley
Website Guru: Kevon Johnson Bradford
Photographic Inspiration: Ethan Cantu and John Koozin
Official paper* Boy: Matthew Martinez
Photographer Extraordinaire: Fernando Grimaldo
For an online archive and other paper*-related folderol, visit hspvapaper.com!