HypnoBirthing - Sagua Mañagu + MPG
Transcription
HypnoBirthing - Sagua Mañagu + MPG
Baby Gift Must Haves Nov.Dec. 2013 Vol. 12, #6 HypnoBirthing Preparing the Pack for Its New Addition Reading is FUNdamental Birth Stories * milestones don’t happen overnight. they’re nourished over time. Every time you feed your baby Enfamil ® Newborn, you nourish healthy development that helps him reach key milestones — like focusing . Cognitive, motor, social and communication. These are the areas of the brain that drive milestones — so they’re the areas pediatricians check for most. Enfamil Newborn has a patented formula that also includes DHA, which is important for newborn brain development. Enfamil Newborn is part of Enfamil Staged Nutrition — expertly tailored for newborns, infants and toddlers. enfamil.com LK1069 5/12 ©2012 Mead Johnson & Company, LLC Nourishing milestones at every stage.™ Scan to learn more about our formulas and see how moms rate them. Enfamil Newborn provides: • an easy-to-digest protein blend • the expert-recommended daily level of vitamin D in 27 fluid oz. *Pediatrician survey did not include Enfagrow® productss editor's letter ‘Tis the season . . .to give thanks, to share gifts with loved ones and to celebrate a year filled with transition and new beginnings. At the start of the year, MAÑAGU launched two new departments, Your Tween and For You. We tapped into the hidden writing talents of several young parents, many of whom are featured in this holiday issue of MAÑAGU. Midwife and new mama Jessica Pettigrew joins Carrie McKinney in sharing their “Birth Stories.” Sonia Alcorn and Jenny Camacho have contributed articles to MAÑAGU over the year. In this issue, Sonia presents the first part of her series, “Preparing the Pack for Its New Addition” while Jenny’s “Triathlons & More” lets readers see how she and her husband Leevin manage to include health and fitness routines in their busy schedules. Velma Ellis’ “Discipline: What Works” addresses one of the biggest challenges parents face when raising their children. And in “Reading is FUNdamental,” MAÑAGU gathered great tips and sound advice from parent-educators Vanessa Garcia, Alma Terbio and Aprilyn Villaflor. Thanks to our editorial team for Your Tween: Carla Bordallo, Dr. Cristina Manaloto, Marie Monge and Roberta Yamamoto who share their experience in handling their children’s “Tween Crushes.” I certainly appreciate the approach they take in helping their children through the emotional highs and lows of growing up. As always, MAÑAGU is grateful to our resident expert in patient education, Barb Mafnas, who introduces “HypnoBirthing” as a new technique for expectant parents to use before, during and after childbirth. And in her column, Barb embarks on a personal transformation as she recognizes “Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life.” Lastly, we welcome Laura Nelson-Cepeda’s top 10 “Baby Gift Must Haves.” As mother and co-owner of Neni & Me, Laura has first-hand knowledge of what parents find useful for them and their babies. You’ll be happy to know that you can tap into Neni & Me’s advice and products at Sagua Mañagu as they prepare to open their shop by the entry to the birthing center in January 2014. On behalf of Dr. Bordallo, Dr. Bez, Flori Sanchez and our family here at Marianas Physicians Group and Sagua Mañagu, it’s my pleasure to offer best wishes for a safe and joyful holiday season to our readers, our patients, their families and friends. 2 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 Mañagu Editorial Contributions Sonia alcorn Carla Bordallo Jennifer Camacho Velma Ellis Vanessa Garcia Barbara Mafnas, RN Cristina Manaloto, MD Carrie McKinney Marie Calvo Monge Laura Nelson-Cepeda Jessica Pettigrew Alma Terbio Aprilyn VillafLor Roberta Yamamoto Owners Annie Bordallo, MD Ellen Bez, MD Managing Partners Lina Leon Guerrero Flori Sanchez Published by Sagua Mañagu Editing & Layout David Castro Carlene Okiyama Cover by LEILani Techaira Copyright © 2013 by Sagua Mañagu All rights reserved. No portion of this magazine may be reprinted without prior written permission. We welcome your comments at: info@saguamañagu-mpg.com CONTENTS 8 HypnoBirthing 6 Preparing the Pack for Its New Addition – Part 1 8 Baby Gift Must Haves 10 14 Birth Stories 14 Discipline: What Works 18 Reading is FUNdamental 20 18 24 28 Tween Crushes 24 Triathlons & More 28 Regular Features Congratulations to all the Families Born at Sagua Mañagu 30 Barb’s Corner 32 About the cover: “Ol’ blue eyes, Julius Pettigrew Sanchez, made it to full term after an early scare in April.” Photo by Leilani Techaira. Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 3 Lamaze and More in 2013 Instructor Barbara C. Mafnas, RN, LCCE, CLC, IBCLC Lamaze® Classes: A combination of relaxation, breathing techniques, comfort measures and position changes that are designed to help during labor and birth. We stress that partners are essential throughout labor, birth, postpartum and parenting. Please bring: a pillow, blanket, bath towel (for foot soaks), tennis ball, snacks and water. Moms need to wear shorts or slacks and comfortable shoes as you’ll be doing some floor work! Baby Bonding: Designed to help mothers and fathers gain confidence as they pick up on feeding cues and other needs of their babies. The class includes the first hours after birth, breast feeding and feeding cues, baby bath time and massage. Prenatal Care: Covers journey of pregnancy from positive pregnancy test to third trimester. The class Includes prenatal care, nutrition, common discomforts, early warning signs and sexual activity. Also covered are the benefits of rest and exercise. Orientation: A class specially designed for parents who choose Sagua Mañagu, covering pregnancy from positive pregnancy test through third trimester, then onto childbirth and newborn care. The first part of the class includes procedures and care during pregnancy, good nutrition and exercise as well as answers to common questions regarding discomforts, early warning signs, sexual activity, the effects of alcohol, smoking and recreational drugs. The second part is an orientation to Sagua Mañagu that includes patient rights and responsibilities, the differences between birthing centers and hospitals; family involvement; newborn care here and what to expect when you go home. Sibling Class: Designed for parents and children. Discussion of child involvement in the labor process and emotional aspects of being with mom at this time. Also covers mother/child relationship changes and expectations. Film “Lizzie and the Baby” addresses relationship changes, doctors visits with mom, animated growth of the fetus, how baby is born, what new baby’s look like, what they can do, how to hold them and more! Baby Daddy Class: Designed exclusively for dads to help increase their confidence in becoming a new dad. Dads will have better understanding of his woman, recognize the classic signs of labor and what to do, verbalize 3 feeding cues of the newborn, understand relationships and dynamics, and understand his role as the new dad. Parenting & Safety: This 2-hour class helps parents understand the importance of interacting with their baby and understanding growth and development to provide realistic expectations. The class will also use open discussion to talk about subjects as discipline, prevention of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, and Shaken Baby Syndrome. Life skills such as basic infant CPR will be included. Typical Fees: Lamaze $60 Lamaze Refresher Class $40 Baby Bonding, Prenatal Care, Orientation, Sibling Class, Baby Daddy, & Parenting & SafetyNO CHARGE. All classes are held at Sagua Mañagu Birthing Center Please call us at 647-1417 or 1418 SATURDAY Prenatal Care 12p-2p Baby Bonding 3p-5p TUESDAY Lactation Consult with Barb 5p-6p Traditional Lamaze 5 class series 6p-8p FRIDAY & SATURDAY Customized 2-day course 6p-9p SATURDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SATURDAY Crash Course 1-day Noon-6p Orientation 5:30p8:30p Orientation 5:30p8:30p Orientation Noon-3p Breastfeeding Café / Support Group 9a-11a Lamaze Refresher 6:30p8:30p NOV Nov 16 Nov 5, 12, 19, 26 Nov 15-16 Nov 2 DEC Dec 21 No Class Dec 20-21 Dec 7 JAN Jan 11 Jan 7, 21, 28, Feb 4 & Feb 11 Jan 10-11 Jan 4 *Subject to change without notice* 4 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 SATURDAY FRIDAY Sibling Baby Daddy Noon-3p (5-10 yo) 5p-6p Parenting & Safety 1p-3p Orientation 3:30p6:30p Nov 8 Nov 9 Nov 2, 9, 16, 30 Nov 30 Nov 15 Dec 19, 26 Dec 6, 13 Dec 14 Dec 7, 14, 21, 28 Dec 28 Dec 20 Jan 2, 9, 23, 30 Jan 3, 10, 24 Jan 11 Jan 4, 11, 25 Jan 25 Jan 10 your pregnancy By: Barbara Mafnas, RN, LCCE, CLC, IBCLC In August, I had the opportunity to go to Phoenix, Arizona and train for a HypnoBirthing course. With all the hype around Britain’s royal baby and “Kate’s” birth choice, I decided it warranted some attention. So, off I went. I have to admit I was skeptical at first. However, as the 4-day training ended, I could see the value in this teaching and it would afford an opportunity for birth choices on Guam. Excited, I came home and shared my experience with peers, co-workers and a small class. Some women will continue to seek Lamaze classes and I will continue to teach them. Some will benefit from HypnoBirthing, which has a 25-year history. HypnoBirth is for pregnancy, birth and beyond. It is a meditative state of relaxation and surrender to the instinctual process of birth. The concept does not guarantee pain free birthing experiences but many have reported they do not experience pain, but tightening or just pressure. It is about tuning into self and baby and letting birth happen. How is it different from Lamaze? Lamaze is over 50 years old and is about coping skills and breathing techniques. It is an educational experience of expectations, and how to deal when complications arise. HypnoBirth helps women to let go of their fears and anxieties surrounding birth. Not much if any detail is placed on complications as this philosophy believes that discussing complications sets women up for more fear and worry. Specific topics can be discussed individually as needed. It is suggested that Lamaze classes begin when couples are 28 weeks and beyond. The HypnoBirth classes can begin in the first trimester if desired. “The class focuses on deep relaxation, working with the body, working with fears, releasing fear, and replacing it with confidence and trust in the birth process.” 6 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 The HypnoBirth website offers answers to frequently asked questions about the technique. Below are some of the questions and answers. Will I experience a pain-free birth? When women understand that constrictor hormones created by fear cause pain, they learn instead to release fear thus creating endorphins—the feel good hormones. They are then able to change their expectations of long, painful labor and are able to replace them with expectations of a more comfortable birthing. Women are not promised a painless birthing, though many HypnoBirthing mothers report having a relatively pain-free birth or one that they were able to manage easily…birth can be accomplished in a shorter period and much more comfortably. How is my birth companion involved? He or she practices with the mother in helping to prepare for deep relaxation. During the labor, the Birth Companion guides the laboring mother through hypnosis prompts, relaxation techniques, deepening methods, and visualizations, provides comfort measures, and joins in welcoming the new baby. What if my doctor/midwife is not familiar with HypnoBirthing? Can I still use this method and how can they help me to achieve my HypnoBirthing goals? If your caregiver (provider) is not knowledgeable about HypnoBirthing, take the opportunity early in your pregnancy to discuss the techniques you will be using and the type of calm environment that you desire. (The birth is about your baby and you.) Educated, confident, deeply relaxed mothers, who feel empowered to birth naturally have fewer complications. Will HypnoBirth be useful to me if I don’t opt for a natural childbirth or if I need medical intervention or a C-section? Absolutely. HypnoBirthing classes will help you to learn relaxation skills that will be useful to both you and your baby, regardless of your birth experience. In the event medical intervention is needed, you will find yourself better able to remain calm and in control. Will I be unconscious or will I remember my birth experience? You are definitely conscious during self-hypnosis. The HypnoBirthing mother is deeply relaxed, but she is also an active participant in the labor process. Hypnosis is a natural state of relaxed concentration and focus. It is similar to daydreaming or focusing that occurs when you are engrossed in a book, staring at a fire, or are driving a car. You will be fully in control. You will be aware of your surges (contractions), but you will feel relaxed and calm. The language of HypnoBirth is different from Lamaze and different from the medical words we use on a day to day basis. A contraction is replaced by “surges,” water bag breaking is replaced by “releasing,” and dilation is replaced by “opening.” The words are exchanged to make them less frightening, softer on the ears. The staff at Sagua Mañagu will be prepared to assist you in whatever choice of labor practice you choose. Because each birth experience is unique and each woman and her companion has personal goals and desires for birth, it is important that these be expressed. You will be assisted in designing a birth plan. It is important to approach birth knowledgeable and educated to get what you want. I did a trial run of a 5-week course and followed it through by attending the birth. It was phenomenal. The mother was calm and peaceful and the baby was perfect in everyway. Her birth experience will empower her for years to come. Birth is a sacred event; a moment when a woman transitions to mother, and a couple becomes a family. It can be a scary experience, but it does not have to be. Classes for HypnoBirthing will be available in 2014. Please call Barbara Mafnas at 777-6526 for more information. Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 7 your baby Preparing the Pack for Its New Addition – Part 1 By: Sonia T.H. Alcorn “Come on. Open up.” Kaiden Alcorn tries to get Hazel to show her pearly whites. For most couples, having a pet – dog or cat – is their first induction into “parenthood.” So when a human baby arrives, the family dynamics change drastically. Who was once mom and dad’s object of affection is now experiencing divided attention, occupied space and a modified activity schedule. While it requires adequate preparation, there is no reason to fear the introduction process between pet and baby. Now or Later When considering the adoption of an animal for the first time, allow 6 months minimum for adequate training. Bringing a new pet into the home just before or soon after the birth of a baby is not the best idea. However, owning a pet prior to having children increases pack unity and strengthens familial bonds, which allows fellow pack members to accept a new constituent more easily. The American Humane Association (AHA) published an online booklet, “Pet Meets Baby,” in which these recommendations were provided: • Never put your dog in a position where it feels threatened or teased. • Walk and exercise your dog regularly to keep it healthy and provide mental stimulation. 8 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 • Use a leash in public to ensure you are able to control your dog. • Regular veterinary visits are essential to regulating the health of your dog. A sick or injured dog is more likely to bite. • Be alert. If someone approaches you and your dog while out on a walk, caution them to wait before petting the dog, giving your pet time to be comfortable with the stranger. • Make sure your pet is socialized as a young puppy so it feels at ease around people and other animals. This information can be applied both before and after bringing home baby. However, if you adhere to this advice prior to baby’s arrival, you will have a much better foundation to build upon. Preparation If you are pregnant and already own a pet, now is the time to address any of his existing behavioral problems. Do not wait until trouble begins to train your furry friend how to demonstrate appropriate conduct. Dr. Karen Becker suggests the following tips in preparing any dog(s) or cat(s) for the arrival of baby: your baby • If your pet is not used to being around children, arrange for supervised interaction with children who have experience around animals. • Gradually adjust your personal schedule according to changes that might occur once baby arrives (i.e., walk dog an hour or two later, split up play time into shorter sessions, etc.). • Since certain areas of the home may become restricted later on, such as the baby’s room, give pet his own safe spot that will always be safe for him to rest or retreat to. • Keep calm when instituting these restrictions; baby gates can be helpful during this process. Introduction When baby arrives at his new home for the first time, allow someone else to hold him while you greet your pets. If you labored at home and then abruptly fled to the birthing center (as I did!) they will be anxious for an explanation. Maintain a calm atmosphere; command dogs to lie down, if necessary. Allow your cat(s) to approach the baby on her own time. Never compel any of the animals to do anything against their will. Introducing the baby to each individual animal will also help to minimize any potential chaos. Allow each animal to make his own assessment, supervising EVERY interaction between dog(s) and child to ensure the safety of all. At the same time, withholding the baby could arouse suspicion and potentially create opportunity for danger as well so take time to socialize altogether. If your animals are welltrained and regard you as pack leader, change is more readily acceptable. Brett Silks, expert dog behavioralist here on Guam, explains the importance of understanding the pack structure. The hierarchy begins with the adults, then the dogs, next the children (10 years old or younger) and finally visitors. In other words, the adult(s) of the household should be respected as “pack leader(s).” The animals will subsequently put themselves next in line. Children younger than 10 years old should not challenge this order since they lack both the stature and maturity to demand the same respect. Visitors should also understand this order and not challenge their position; respecting that they are within the pack’s domain. Look for the sequel to this article in the next edition of MAÑAGU Magazine! For tips on training, Brett Silks can be contacted at his canine boarding facility, Boonie B&B, at 989-3647 (DOGS). You can also find them on Facebook! Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 9 10 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 11 12 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 13 Birth Stories The Nativity has been the cornerstone of holiday celebrations for countless years. When we think of the Nativity, we think of the Christ child in a manger surrounded by Mary, Joseph, shepherds and wise men. The Nativity is ever present during the holiday season, reminding us of the true reason behind the Christmas season. While this is central to time honored Christmas traditions, nativity also means birth or place of origin. This holiday season, we asked two of our Sagua Mañagu mothers to share their personal nativity stories, offering Mañagu readers a glimpse into one of the most precious moments a mother will ever experience, the birth of her child. Isla Rae May 25, 2013 Carrie & Joshua McKinney Our birth story wasn’t what I expected, but was still pretty wonderful. The best part was that, thanks to the wonderful team around me, I was able to determine my own experience. True to my type A nature, I had studied about hypnobirthing, did prenatal yoga, read lots of books, and took Lamaze with my husband in order to prepare myself as much as possible for my first labor. The best advice was from my midwife who cautioned us to allow some flexibility because “you are handed a labor and you never know what you are gonna get!” My first contraction was at 1 a.m. on Friday morning. The contractions continued throughout the morning until my husband and I went for a labor check at 1 p.m. on Friday (1-2 cm). Later that afternoon after my contractions became more regular, we returned and checked into the birthing center at 6 p.m. (2-3cm). The staff wasn’t sure I should check in yet, but I wasn’t feeling confident at home so they let us stay. Baby Isla Rae was born at 3:34 a.m. on Saturday morning, after 20 minutes of breathing down and pushing (very little tearing— thank you midwife!). A healthy baby girl—22.5 in., 7 lbs. 14 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 15 oz. I had three things that made my labor more challenging than I was expecting. First was that the labor was all in my hips and thighs and involved sciatic nerve pain. I never felt anything in my stomach. The second was that I had back labor most of the time because baby turned sunny side up. Thankfully at about 7 centimeters or so the labor nurse was able to turn her (God bless you, nurse). I got a lot of relief from the back labor and was able to push baby out in a much better position. I loved my labor nurse and midwife. The third is that our baby girl was really long (22.5 in), and she started out, even in early labor, way down the birth canal. When I got to around 6 centimeters, my body started wanting to push her out. This was unpleasant as it was like my body was forcing me to push against a brick wall. So all that hypnobirthing training to be calm and still was out the window as my body went from pushing during contractions to shaking from all the hormones between contractions. The hypno-birthing did help me stay calm, but not quiet or still! I think the thing that helped me the most was that the birthing center staff was very supportive of us moving around and doing Carrie aand Joshua McKinney smother their Isla Rae with kisses. whatever I needed to help me through the labor. They offered suggestions, but weren’t bossy, and they said such kind and supportive things that made me feel like I was going to be okay. Also, the prenatal yoga really gave me a lot of positions to try, and I eventually found some that made everything so much more tolerable. I was in the shower for a while during early labor letting the hot water run down my back. My husband did hip compressions through almost every contraction during active labor. That really helped relieve the nerve pain. He was so encouraging and accepting of all the things I was throwing his way. The research really helped me to trust my body to know what it was doing, and helped prevent me from panicking. I thought I was doing a terrible job, but the labor nurse said, “but you are so calm!” The midwife assured me that I was giving the baby a gentle birth (even though it didn’t feel that way to me). The words of encouragement stand out in my memory and helped keep me going. At the birthing center, they practice the ‘golden hour’ where they put the baby right on your stomach immediately after birth to let you bond with the baby and try to breast feed, which she did for almost an hour. I think somewhere along the labor process I had zoned out and lost track that this was all about a baby. When they placed her on my stomach, it was very surreal (plus it was 3:30 in the morning and I hadn’t slept the night before). I just kind of stared at the top of her head and wondered what in the world was going on! My husband was taken with her immediately. The whole thing was surreal, really. I felt a little like I was outside watching. Since my labor, I have fallen in love with this little girl, and I feel so good that we were able to bring her into the world drug free and give her the best possible start. Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 15 Julius July 12, 2013 Jessica Pettigrew & Jacob Sanchez My dear sweet baby Julius, let me tell you about the day you were born… After trying to escape the womb early in April, Mommy was so happy each day you stayed inside my belly. When your due date came and went, I knew you were okay. We enjoyed those last few days swimming with Grandma Karen, walking in the warm evenings, helping other mommies have their babies. Monday evening we ate dinner with Daddy’s cousins at Auntie Flori and Uncle Diron’s house. Diron grilled up massive steaks and shrimp. We had potatoes, yummy salad, and we made peanut butter cookies. When we returned home, Daddy and I watched the news and were getting ready for bed when around 11 p.m., sploosh, your bag of water released. I was surprised because I’d not felt many contractions all day. But they started! I called Grandma Karen and she came over about an hour later. By this time, I knew you were ready to come to us. Daddy rubbed my back as I swayed on an exercise ball. Twice we filled the bathtub with water and lavender oil, the warm water felt so good. Sometimes I felt pain in my front lower belly, sometimes it was really in my back. Daddy helped me breathe using the hypnobirthing techniques that we had practiced for months. As things became more intense, I sat in the rocking chair in our living room. I knew I was okay, I knew you were okay. We were just doing this very intense thing together: you, me and Daddy. Around 2 a.m., as I became more focused with each surge, Grandma Karen (also a midwife) checked my cervix to find I was already 4-5cm/very thin and your head was very low. I began to cry with this news, relieved and surprised that we had already come so far together. After another soak in the tub, we called midwife Alice and nurse Christina to meet us at the birth center. When we arrived, the room was cold and I remember sitting on a big ball at the end of the bed swaying with the pain. When the pain started, I would pull the white sheet up over my head to make a little tent for just you and me. I stared at my belly, moaning with pain. It was my back that hurt so much! Daddy tried rubbing it, he talked to me, we said ABCs through the pain, we counted through the pain, I remember saying O-O-Oooooooo. But your little head 16 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 was pushing down and despite all my efforts, I just had to push down. I moved to the hot shower, twice. There I put one leg on the side of the tub and tried to squat and lunge with the pain, in an effort to open my pelvis just a little wider for you. I sat backwards on the toilet. I crawled on my hands and knees. I rested in bed from side to side. My cervix opened from 4-5cm, to 5-6cm, then we were kind of stuck at 6-7cm as the sun rose and the church bells at St. Anthony’s sounded. At this point, midwife Alice suggested using the medicine pitocin to make the contractions a little closer and stronger. While I knew this was reasonable, and probably necessary, I debated it. It would mean needing an IV, and while I knew labor progress had stalled, part of me wanted that break. But I wanted to see you even more than I wanted that break so onward we marched, now with some medicine. The pains became stronger, my body felt like it convulsed with each surge. Within an hour, it was time to push you out. I was so ready, so determined. I wanted to push all morning (in fact, I had been pushing, despite all directions not to). Ready, heave, ho! Oh oh oh oh!!! It hurt so much to push! I thought it would be great, a relief. But it felt as if I had to push you down onto my tailbone which caused incredible pain. Once I reached a certain point, then it felt good, but I had to get past that awful pain first. Alice assured me that your head was nice and low and so I just sucked it up and with Daddy by my side, Grandma Karen encouraging me and Alice guiding me, we pushed and pushed! I could feel you make your way down and out; it was incredible. After your head and shoulders emerged, I reached down and pulled the rest of you onto my stomach with great relief. I couldn’t believe the size of your head and your thick, chunky thighs, all 8lbs. and 2oz. of you. After all we’d been through together: a snowy weekend in Saporro, a trip to Tokyo climbing up and down Mt. Takao, premature contractions and that whole scare, afternoons swimming in the salty sea, the various labors and births we’d attended, a trip to South Dakota, now you were here, in my arms, my big healthy boy. I’d assumed that you would look like your dad so imagine my surprise when you came out looking like me and my dad. We did it baby Julius, just like all the women that I take care of. We too worked together and we did it. And now, nearly 2 weeks later as I hold you in my arms nursing, it is amazing. Each time I nurse you, I look at your tiny body, growing bigger each day. Daddy and I laugh at your funny expressions, we snuggle you in the night when you wake, and we’re so happy to be your parents. On laboring as a midwife: Despite all of the intensity of labor, I drew on the strength of women I have cared for. I’ve seen women young, old, rich, and poor push their babies into the world after intense, long labors. I’ve seen the love in their eyes for their little ones and I was excited to be on that journey with my son. At one point, I remember thinking “So this is why the epidural is appealing,” but looking back, I wouldn’t have been able to move, roll, sit on the ball, and feel how and where to push if I were numb from my waist down. I reminded myself over and over that “I am okay,” my body was working exactly as it should. Concerned about your child’s HEARING? FREE HEARING SCREENING services are available. To schedule an appointment, call the Guam Early Intervention System (GEIS) at Telephone: 300-5776 / 5816 Produced by the Guam Early Hearing Detection and Intervention (Guam EHDI) Project with 100% funding support by the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, Health Resources and Services Administration, Grant No. H61MC00094, and facilitated by the University of Guam Center for Excellence in Developmental Disabilities Education, Research, & Service (Guam CEDDERS). Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 17 your child Discipline: What Works By: Velma Ellis Time out! The Ellis family effectively uses time outs to interrupt bad behavior and help Isa (left) and Tasi (right) calm down. Parenthood has given me the most joy out of anything I’ve ever experienced. It has also given me the biggest headache at one time or another. My children are now at the age where they are able make their own choices and at times they don’t choose wisely. As parents our job is not only to love and nurture our children, but also to guide and mold them into responsible adults. We do so by establishing boundaries and enforcing discipline. Boundaries The boundaries we set for our children should not be meant to control them but rather keep them safe. The world is full of dangers that are unfamiliar to them. Explaining why they should never touch the stove, run out into the street or talk to strangers will help them learn to trust the rules that we set. My oldest daughter almost had to learn from experience. Years ago my family and I were at a courtyard festival. I had just given birth to our second daughter and we were all happy to be out of the house enjoying a funfilled evening. Toward the end of the night while we were packing up our belongings, we noticed that our 3-year old daughter who was with us a second ago was no longer 18 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 by our side. We scanned the crowd and panicked when we saw her running towards the end of the courtyard into a busy street. My husband dropped everything and ran with the speed of lightning to get her. The whole time I was holding our newborn screaming to get my daughter’s attention. My husband grabbed her just as she reached the curb. On their way back to us I could feel the relief, joy and anger inside me: Thank goodness she was safe, I don’t know what I’d do if something would have happened to her and what in the world was she thinking? We also set boundaries so our children will know that they are not the only people in this world and to be mindful of others. Boundaries can be crossed when someone’s personal space is invaded, when they say hurtful things to others or when there’s lack of respect for a person. These boundaries are constantly being tested in my house. With two girls close in age who are constantly together, sharing a room and their personal belongings, it is hard not to cross that line. Discipline We’ve all noticed children misbehaving in public; toddlers your child running away from their parents, 5-year olds screaming “you can’t make me” or pre-teens rolling their eyes. And we’ve privately judged their parents, reassuring ourselves that we would never let the situation get to that point or we would have handled it better. But then it happens: the massive meltdown that takes you completely by surprise. And suddenly you are that parent, failing to figure out what to do. Through trial and error and with numerous parenting guides in our arsenal, my husband and I have found several discipline techniques that work for us…most of the time. They’ve changed from time to time along with our girls’ temperament and ages. Praising Good Behavior As parents, we do this constantly when they’re babies, not knowing that this is the best way to encourage our children to continue good behavior. Isa and Tasi enjoy the rewards of good behavior with a day in the water with their friends. We praise them when they’re petting the dog nicely, finishing that last bite of mushy peas, or not homes. Unfortunately there is no cookie cutter approach banging blocks on someone’s head. It’s important to parenting, and like many things in life, we learn from to give genuine praise as they get older as well, especially our mistakes. With patience, practice and quite a few a specific behavior that you’re trying to increase. meltdowns, finding the best techniques that work for your family is in reach. The key is to keep calm and…wait, girls Time Outs stop fighting again?!?! Time outs have been in our playbook since our girls were toddlers and are still in use today. We use it to interrupt bad behavior such as hitting or defying authority. By sending them to a designated corner in the house with no distractions they are able to calm down, learn self-control and remember the rules. This also gives us parents time to collect ourselves as well. I know it has saved me several times from engaging in an argument or power struggle with my 6-year old explaining why she’s not allowed to jump on the top bunk bed for the umpteenth time. Privileges Reminding our girls that such things as iPads, TVs, and playtime with friends are all privileges that can be taken away has helped our kids with self-discipline. It gives them an incentive to control their behavior. When that behavior is not appropriate or when boundaries are crossed a privilege is taken away for a period of time and must be earned back. Whatever the disciplinary course, the key is to be consistent. If the consequence is leaving the park when he doesn’t play nice, be ready to leave the park. If it’s throwing away all the toys on the floor if they’re not picked up, make sure you have a garbage bag ready. The hardest part of discipline is having the energy and determination to follow through. Kids are so persistent and parents get tired like everyone else. When we give in, let them get away with it or let them do whatever they want, our children learn that our rules are flexible. We set boundaries for our children to teach them values, give them responsibility and keep them safe. We use different forms of discipline to enforce the rules in our Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 19 your child Can you remember the first time your child sang the alphabet? Spelled her first word? How excited and proud you must have been! By encouraging children to read and sharing pride in their success, parents pave the way for a lifetime of learning. Mañagu is pleased to share the insights of three full-time educators and mothers: Aprilyn Villaflor, Vanessa Garcia and Alma Terbio. How important is knowing how to read at an early age? Aprilyn Villaflor: Reading at any age is fundamental, but more so at an early age. I learned from my Human Growth and Development class in college that a child’s brain is like a sponge, ready and willing to soak up as much information as possible. We, as parents, are our children’s first teachers. We must take advantage of the fact that their little brains are able to absorb so much information rapidly. Teaching children to read at an early age is an opportunity that we should not pass up. Vanessa Garcia: I believe reading to your child at an early age has its advantages when they eventually begin school. According to the joint position statement of the International Reading Association (IRA) and the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC), Early Literacy is what children know about reading and writing before they actually read and write. Research shows that children arriving at kindergarten with early literacy 20 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 The Villafor family clockwise from left: Rey, Aprilyn, Rafael, Renae, and Alexandre. Photo by Toni Brooks. your child skills are more likely to be successful in learning to read and write. Alma Terbio: Knowing how to read at an early age is very important. Kids who enter kindergarten with knowledge of basic school readiness skills tend to do much better academically. Parents can help prepare toddlers and preschoolers for kindergarten by saying or singing the alphabet, helping kids identify letters and numbers, colors and shapes, and even writing their names. How does it affect a child’s overall performance in school? The Garcia family from left: Vantaysha,(seated on her lap) Azariah, Aaron and Vanessa Garcia. AV: Reading at an early age may help children to enter school ready to succeed. According to Early Moments, an online early reading resource, numerous studies have shown that students who are exposed to reading before preschool are more likely to do well in all facets of formal education. This makes so much sense because as a teacher, my main teaching resource is the textbook. This is true for teachers in the elementary school, all the way through to college level courses. A child’s overall performance in school will ultimately depend on his/her ability to read and comprehend that textbook. VG: One of the primary benefits of reading to toddlers and preschoolers is a higher aptitude for learning in general. I see that children who are exposed to reading before preschool are more likely to do well in all facets of formal education. AT: Teaching kids how to read for enjoyment very early on will help improve comprehension skills and overall language development. Parents can help build the feeling of success in their toddlers as they begin to identify letters of the alphabet everywhere they go. Eventually toddlers and preschoolers will start to say the letters, colors, shapes, and numbers automatically when they see them. Because of this head start in developing these skills before kindergarten, students enter school motivated, interested, and eager to learn even more. How can we introduce our children to reading? AV: We can introduce our children to reading by first reading to them. I love to read! My love for reading came from listening to my mother read me bedtime stories. Because of this, I have read bedtime stories to all my children. My two older children, Alexandre (9 1/2) and Renae (8), now read me bedtime stories, thanks to their GATE teacher who enforces a reading log. Thanks, Vickie! My youngest child, Rafael, is14 months old. I read to him at night before he goes to bed. There are also some online resources that parents can use to introduce reading to their children at an early age. I let my Rafael watch Your Baby Can Read on YouTube. So far, he can read the word, “Hi.” I use flashcards to test him. Parents can try something similar to introduce reading at an early age. VG: We can introduce our children to reading as early as possible. Before my son was born in 2013, I can remember reading to my nieces, Julia and Isabella when they were 1 month old. Some ways to introduce reading to your little ones is simply by reading to them every day. Read a variety of books. Babies typically prefer books with colors and bright pictures. Also, let your baby explore by allowing them to hold the book themselves and play with the pages. Remember, children learn through exploration. AT: Parents can introduce children to reading by modeling Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 21 it at home. Have regular story time with children—even for young infants— and ask simple questions about the story. Parents can also promote the importance of reading by casually picking up a magazine or a newspaper and reading it in plain view. I say things like, “Wow! I didn’t know about that” every now and then just to show my boys that we can always learn something new and exciting from what we read. I also found that taking the boys to the The Terbio family from left: Logan, James, Adam and Alma. bookstore or library helped them develop struggled with reading I would continue to monitor where interests in books and reading. Having a little library of their strengths and weaknesses lie. Your child has strengths. easy books at home is helpful too. If the child is more techMaybe he can draw beautifully or has an amazing savvy, try downloading educational apps that teach reading vocabulary. Maybe she has great listening skills. If your child is artistic, use that talent at home as a way for your skills as well. child to show understanding of a story you read aloud; What can parents do to detect and then help their draw a picture of the problem in the story, or draw the main character. Continue to help them with their weaknesses. Just kids who struggle with reading? because your child can’t physically decode the words and/ AV: Once a child starts school, parents must always communicate with teachers to determine whether or not their or write a response to a reading comprehension question child is struggling with reading. If it is determined that a doesn’t mean you can’t push for higher comprehension, or child is struggling, parents can make or buy flashcards to neglect one of your child’s strengths. Letting your children practice letter names, sounds, and/or sight words. Parents use their strengths will boost their confidence, and it has the can also help at home by reading to their children or benefit of letting them see that you know they are excelling allowing their children to read daily for at least 15 minutes. at something. It is important to ask the child comprehension questions after If you’re a parent and observe that your little one has reading small sections of text to check for understanding. struggled with reading since you first started teaching her to When reading to children who are young, it is important to read, it is best to consult with a professional. point to each word read and allow the child to track you pointing. The children will see how the words that you are AT: If parents suspect that their child may have a hard reading look. time with basic reading or learning, even after numerous forms of intervention at the school level, then a referral There are also numerous reading aids that can be purchased, like Leap Frog or other technological gadgets for a Special Education evaluation can be made. Through like that. Once again, the internet can also provide parents my experience as a psycho-educational evaluator with the Guam Department of Education, evaluations include with many reading resources, both free and not so free, to a comprehensive assessment of the child’s abilities and take advantage of. Finally, parents can pay for tutoring if achievement levels, as well as assessments in language they can afford to. Places like Sylvan Learning Center can development. If evaluations indicate any weaknesses help children who are struggling in school. that call for a specially designed instruction, then special VG: Again, as a parent and teacher, if I noticed they education intervention can be provided. 22 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 Marianas Physicians Group is now accepting new patients. Dr. Annie U. Bordallo, Dr. Ellen P. Bez and certified nurse midwife Alice E. Leliukas welcome to the MPG team: Farrell A. Cole, MD William P. Vercio, MD Kimberly R. Walton, MD Teresa L. Anderson, CNM Janna M. Melsness, CNM Marianas Physicians Group is designed to serve women. Our team of health professionals strives for excellence in a caring and nurturing atmosphere. Specialists handle high risk and low risk pregnancies and provide routine and complicated women’s health services. We offer care options, letting our patient choose what best suits her needs and personal preferences. Specialzing in... Women’s Gynecology Annual Physicals Menstrual Disorders Health Services Maternity Care Menopause Infertility Pap Smears Adolescent Care Feel free to call us for an appointment. 647-1830 marianasphysiciansgroup@saguamanagu-mpg.com Most health insurance plans accepted. 472 Chalan San Antonio, Tamuning, Guam 96913 your tween Tween Crushes Disney recently released a special edition of its popular animated film, The Little Mermaid. In one scene when the young mermaid Ariel is fluttering about, humming to herself, smiling from ear to ear. Her older sister immediately recognizes the signs: “Ariel’s in love.” According to New York City family therapist Sari Cooper, “Having a crush in late elementary school and early middle school is one of the cornerstones of growing up. Before we can see the physical changes of adolescence, preteens experience a rise in hormones resulting in romantic feelings.” (See “Puppy Love: Preteens and Crushes” on www.tweenparent.com.) Like others in the field, Cooper reminds parents that crushes are normal. So how can parents handle this new phase of their child’s development? We asked MAÑAGU’s editorial team for their insights. Ma. Cristina Q. Manaloto, M.D. How old was your child when he or she had her/his first crush? I learned about their crushes as early as age 4-5. How did you know about the crush? I routinely ask them. What was your initial reaction? I was curious and delighted. What were your concerns? At the age of 4-5, I really have no real concerns. I just made sure they understood that a crush is admiring somebody, nothing serious. 24 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 How did you communicate your concerns to your child? I openly talk to them about the issue. What did you and your child talk about in relation to the crush? I asked about the qualities the person had that he/she admired. Did the crush reciprocate your child’s feelings? I think so. If yes, how did you guide your child through this special friendship? I reminded her/him it is OK to have a crush but not to be serious about the feelings. I also told him/her not to be open about their feelings or let the “crush” learn about it, to admire from a distance, so as to avoid being teased about it or if the feelings changed or stopped, the friendship is maintained without any awkwardness. If not, how did you help your child handle the disappointment and hurt feelings? I always say that you cannot have everything but it is OK to continue admiring, reminding him/her again that having a crush should not be taken too seriously. What advice—or consolation—do you have for parents of tweens in relation to puppy love and crushes? It is important to establish open communication with our children with regards to their crushes/puppy love so they can be encouraged to confide in us and trust that we will be able to guide them properly. As parents, we should try to understand our child’s feelings but set limitations, always reminding them to focus on their priority, their studies! your tween Carla Bordallo How old was your child when he or she had her/his first crush? Middle school. How did you know about the crush? I was told by a giggling tween. What was your initial reaction? Shock. What were your concerns? Heartache. How did you communicate your concerns to your child? We talked about it and relationships. What did you and your child talk about in relation to the crush? We talked about relationships and expectations that they had about each other and about how this kind of relationship could change the friendship. Did the crush reciprocate your child’s feelings? Yes. If yes, how did you guide your child through this special friendship? I told her she wasn’t allowed to be alone at school with him. No sneaking away to kiss or hold hands. Stay with the group. They both played sports so they would watch each other’s games. They both had phones so they would check on each other after a game to see how they felt when they played and how the other’s game went. I let them support each other in things outside of their relationship. A lesson in Commitment. I really just let them be friends. Strong encouraging friends. Expect to respect each other’s limits. They called it “going out.“ It was like a compromise. How much dating can you do with your parents driving you around? But I hoped it set the groundwork for when (they) would be driving themselves. Marie Calvo Monge When I first casually mentioned what this month’s topic was to my daughters, a tween and teen respectively, their response in unison was a resounding, “MOM! Don’t embarrass us!” So, because in their eyes, their dignity is at stake, I’ll try to speak as generally as possible. Admittedly, I feel like I’m not the best authority on this subject, as I haven’t dealt too much with this experience. Nevertheless, I’ve reiterated to my children that this is part of growing up and they should never feel awkward about talking to me or their father about this. When speaking about crushes, my daughters are dramatically different. One is more open and doesn’t hesitate to let me know when she thinks a boy is cute or when she is developing a crush. The other employs the “Boys are stupid!” mentality and reassures us that she will never have a boyfriend ever (yeah, right)! Without naming names, one of my daughters experienced her first crush at age 12. A few of her friends at school were already “dating” (in the tween sense of the word) and so she didn’t think it was unnatural to let us know as her parents. I was already quite complicit in encouraging her teen celebrity idol crushes by purchasing merchandise, taking her to movies, concerts and the like, but this was difficult to digest, because this seemed too real! In my eyes, she was still a young girl and it seemed too soon for her to be entering this phase. Her father was If not, how did you help your child handle the disappointment and hurt feelings? I always tell my kids and their friends that middle school, high school and college are just stepping stones to so much more and if they find themselves together after exploring the world then it was meant to be. They seem to appreciate that bit of romanticism. What advice—or consolation—do you have for parents of tweens in relation to puppy love and crushes? That it’s very real and intense. Break ups are hard for everyone. For starters, listen, listen, listen! Just recognizing and acknowledging their feelings whether it’s sadness or relief will help them continue to feel good about themselves. Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 25 your tween crushed and had a much harder time handling it. Though harmless and innocent, it brought him to the realization, that someday his girls were going to grow up and deal with different emotions, and perish the thought…BOYS! The crush she had wasn’t reciprocated and she was understandably sad about it. Just as it was challenging to learn about this crush, it was equally challenging to see my child hurt in an emotional way. It prompted the discussion, however, that boys should not be the center of their universe. As parents we do our best to reinforce that they should focus on themselves, their friendships and other passions, becoming comfortable with who they are, not fixated with how to look or act to impress a boy. We know that there are inevitably more crushes (and relationships) to come, but try to empower them to know that being a tween or teen doesn’t mean needing a boyfriend. ROBERTA YAMAMOTO How old was your child when he or she had her/his first crush? The first cute and innocent crush occurred when she was four years old. But the one that she remembers happened in the 2nd grade. How did you know about the crush? My girl and I have always been able to talk about anything so she was the one that told me about her crush. What was your initial reaction? I was not surprised. At that age, it’s cute. What were your concerns? In 2nd grade my concerns were minimal. My concerns now, however, are much greater. Since she is a tween, she notices boys more and vice versa. I see that her selfesteem is strong but I do worry that she might think that by not having a boyfriend she will be left out, especially if her friends have “boyfriend.” How did you communicate your concerns to your child? The best way I find to communicate any concerns is to speak directly to my girl. With all the different types of social media, we parents need our own “Facetime” with our kids. At her age, our talks are not planned or scripted. 26 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 I take any opportunity, such as a TV show, movie, music video or a real life situation. If I feel that there is something to discuss, I will begin to ask questions. That’s the only way we will know what our children are thinking. I do it in a non-confrontational way. I speak calmly and sometimes with a matter of fact attitude. This allows her to feel comfortable and open up. But this doesn’t just happen by chance. Since my children were born, I have intentionally made it a point to build a strong relationship with them. So when these tween and teen years came (and too fast, I might add) we would be able to talk. Granted they will not tell me everything, but then again do I really want to know everything? What did you and your child talk about in relation to the crush? I asked her what she liked about him. I was curious to know what qualities she thought were important. She said he was funny— yes, that’s my girl. Did the crush reciprocate your child’s feelings? We knew he liked her, too, because he called and left messages on the answering machine. Fortunately, she remained friends with him and didn’t take the crush too seriously. If not, how did you help your child handle the disappointment and hurt feelings? There have been times when the boys did not reciprocate her feelings, but then again, they didn’t know she liked them. Even though there were no hurt feelings, I reminded her that when she’s in high school, those same boys will look at her differently. What advice—or consolation—do you have for parents of tweens in relation to puppy love and crushes? Our kids are people too. They have their own feelings; they laugh, they cry, and they love. Maybe to us, who have life experiences, what they feel is silly, but to them, their feelings are real. We need to remember and understand that because we were once their age. for you s n o l h t a i Tr & More o stom acho Cam Years before my needing another outlet Criso husband Leevin and I in addition to running r e f i Jenn had our baby boy we where I could kick my By: were already a pretty post-baby body into active couple. We ran high gear. I also love the Honolulu Marathon being surrounded by in 2009, again in so much motivation— 2011, and numerous whether it’s my running half marathons before, buddies or gym during, and after. As partner—it’s incredibly a matter of fact, when important to surround we decided we wanted myself with motivation. to start a family, my Often people prerequisite so to speak, will ask us where we was running another find the time to train, marathon—which workout, run, cycle, was big motivation swim—you name it. for running the 2011 The only answer is Honolulu Marathon. you have to make the Just three months later, I time—no one’s going was pregnant. I wanted to make it for you. to have a baby when I Work the schedule was at my healthiest and out with your partner. fittest— and marathon My husband and I Leevin Camacho powers through training always pushes switch off our 3:30am the Guam Triathlon Federation’s me to be stronger, faster, days so we can both Sprint/Olympic distance series. and better than I was put in our long runs before. for the week. If one Being active and trains in the morning healthy is a priority in the other will train in our family. With our busy careers as an attorney and the evening. We’re also blessed with a supportive family businesswoman—we don’t always have the time to and if we both absolutely have to put in a workout— workout, which is why we prioritize and make the time. our parents gladly Leevin is a triathlete who spends countless hours volunteer to babysit working on his swim, bike and run. When our son was (even if that means at just 7 months old, Leevin competed in the Kona Half 5:30am—yes, they’re Ironman that consists of a 1.2-mile swim, a 56-mile bike amazing). ride, and a 13.1-mile run. The pain and exhaustion Leevin and I made from this event wasn’t enough for him. A few months a commitment to later he registered for the world’s toughest triathlon—an each other and to our Ironman Triathlon in 2014. This race is a grueling 2.4family that we’d set mile swim, a 112-mile bicycle ride and a marathon the right example for 26.2-mile run to finish it off. Me being nervous for him our children. Whether is an understatement. I’m terrified and I’m not the one it’s working out, competing. eating right, training As for myself, I like to sum up my interests in a quick for marathons and hashtag I often use: #runlifteatclean. In October, I ran the triathlons—this all takes Ko’Ko Half Marathon—my first race since giving birth. dedication, motivation, Then I’ll be tackling my third marathon in December. and large doses of love I lift weights three times a week at the gym and I eat and support for each pretty clean—by that I mean six small meals a day which other—all qualities we consists of veggies, lean protein and small snacks like hope to pass on to our nuts and granola throughout the day. The gym and eating son Tanom and future Leevin and Jenny Camacho are all smiles after completing the 2009 Honolulu Marathon. clean really grew on me after having the baby and children. 28 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 Congratulations to all the babies born at Sagua Mañagu! September Addison Jessie October Mary Christine Cruz & Christopher Cepeda Ninahi Barbara Leon Guerrero-Godoy Olivia Arya Regine & Andrew Lee & Desi Godoy Penny & Anthony Macias Cohen Gabriel Skyler Vittoria Umagat Julynn Abraham & Raynard Primo Ayden Isaac De’ahni Tinina Riley Jane Paullaine Florida & Jim Torres Stephanie Marie Marione & Brandon Taimanglo Paolo Antonio Carmalin-Joy Lujan & Paul Daniel Calvo Joshua Patricia & Charles McDonald II Brooke-Lian Marie Danel San Nicolas & Jesse Cruz Elijah Curtis Kinisha Mantanona & Mathew Afaisen Johnathon Joe Yvette Butaud & Andrew Guzman Nicolette Gogue & Johnathon Blas Jordan-Joaquin Martin Giavanni Devine Mary Santos & Garret Bamba Chrisha Rose Rosaly & Jieme Portin Regan Rosalina & Ryan Torres Kiara-Gael Breanne-Gael Ferrer & Kelly Harper, Jr. Mikaela Gabrianne Arriane Aggabao King Jay & Mark Gregory Benitez Quinalynn Hallucky & Fritz Muritok Raizayn Jun Levi Ezra Carimea & Juniver Rosario Kathyrine & Justin Mendiola Kaire Renai Max Andrew Krystal Yokoi & Ryan Quinata Honey Grace & Michael Carney Emma Juliet Gabriella Renesme Julianna Hattig & Brian Gumataotao Renee Tiong Ky’rie Samantha Sophia Rose Keana Evangelista & Keoni Terlaje Shanice Collado & Neil Sabas Dwayne Bradley-Michael Alvin Reachell Cruz & Dwayne Pangelinan Amanda San Nicolas & Michael Calalang 30 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 Asher Francisco Maressa Atalig-Cepeda & Christopher Cepeda Megan Ann & Joaquin Peña Russel Kairi Ayako & Russel Aubin Ezrah Jae Randi Perez & Jimmy Manila Zekariah Jeorge Jordine & John Ray Taitano Bryden James Jorine Quintanilla & Brian Cadiz Monroe Jane Mary Jane Alegre & Peter Medina Jayden Keoni Jenikalynn Quichocho & James Bascon Malakai Ric Clarissa Kakas & Eric Flores Ethan James Joy Estoy & Mitchell Quirante Andy Agnes & Dylan Marquez Carter Sage Camirin Duenas & Shane De Grazia Hagen Joray Rachel Castro & John Paul Mendiola barb's corner Today is the first day of the rest of my life… Barbara Mafnas, RN, LCCE, CLC, IBCLC I have wanted to make some changes in my personal life. I have book knowledge, I have the necessary equipment and supplies, so what keeps me from the change? Me. As humans we do not like change. We like doing things the way we have always done; even if it means repeating the same mistakes over and over again. I am a busy person by nature. I can’t sit still. I feel like I should always be doing something for somebody. I have a hard time sitting through a movie unless it is really good, because I can always think of other ways to spend my time making other people happy. I have the gift of service. I enjoy serving others on multiple levels, but the gift of service can at times be a curse. I am so busy with others and helping others that I have neglected me. I recently read a book called Transformations by Bill Phillips. I got the book because a friend of a friend posted her before and after photos on Facebook. This is the first time I have been close enough to someone who took the steps to make a difference in their own lives in this manner. This lady weighed well over 300 pounds and was brave enough to post her before and after photos. In her post she states she was invited to be a guest speaker at an upcoming conference about her experience. How exciting, I thought. I want to be a speaker at a conference like that. But that only means I have to do something drastic like her. She motivated me to want to change. The book I read makes it sound doable. I looked up an article about change and found the “change model.” The article talked about how people decide to change. There is a pre-contemplation stage, a contemplation stage and action stage, a maintenance stage, a completion stage and even a relapse stage. This model was developed by researchers to help motivate people who think about change and helps them to understand what they may go through and how to stay focused. This change model was developed for people with 32 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013 addictions. I am addicted to sugar. I have been in the pre-contemplation stage for quite some time. I can rationalize away with reason as to why I don’t get serious about my weight problem. I am too busy! I will start tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Funny thing, tomorrow never comes. When today gets here, I have a thousand things on my list of things to do. In his book Bill Phillips moved me from precontemplation to contemplation. If those people could do it, so could I. I began to think about how I could make it work for me. Then all of a sudden the universe came together for me and I was in the action stage. I set some goals, achievable goals. We signed up for a gym, I started Aqua Zumba (which is crazy fun, by the way.) I started planning. I sat down and looked at my schedule and decided where I could make time for me. Monday and Wednesday nights are now reserved for me, and early mornings after Joe and kids are off to school, mine. I even have a meal plan that starts in 3 days. I had my daughter take a before photo of me, in my bathing suit. (Not a pretty sight) I had to stop myself several times as I was tempted to delete it from my phone. I actually hate it but, I forced myself to take a long look at it and face the facts of who I have become. I don’t like what I see. I want to look vibrant and fit. So the exercise has begun, the meal planning is done. I will journal my experiences good and bad, I will record weight and measurements, I will call upon those who have identified themselves as support persons to whom I will make myself accountable and will lean on in times of struggle and relapse, and I will commit to a better me. I am planning to be at least 75 pounds leaner by Summer 2014. Think I can do it? I have a support system that says I can. I will take it one step at a time, one day at a time, one meal at a time and one victory at a time. If you happen to see me out and about remember to give me some encouragement along the way, I am sure I am going to need it.