HypnoBirthing - Sagua Mañagu + MPG

Transcription

HypnoBirthing - Sagua Mañagu + MPG
Baby Gift
Must Haves
Nov.Dec. 2013
Vol. 12, #6
HypnoBirthing
Preparing the
Pack for Its
New Addition
Reading is
FUNdamental
Birth Stories
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editor's letter
‘Tis the season . . .to give thanks, to share gifts with loved ones and to
celebrate a year filled with transition and new beginnings.
At the start of the year, MAÑAGU launched two new departments,
Your Tween and For You. We tapped into the hidden writing talents of
several young parents, many of whom are featured in this holiday issue
of MAÑAGU. Midwife and new mama Jessica Pettigrew joins Carrie
McKinney in sharing their “Birth Stories.”
Sonia Alcorn and Jenny Camacho have contributed articles to
MAÑAGU over the year. In this issue, Sonia presents the first part of
her series, “Preparing the Pack for Its New Addition” while Jenny’s
“Triathlons & More” lets readers see how she and her husband Leevin
manage to include health and fitness routines in their busy schedules.
Velma Ellis’ “Discipline: What Works” addresses one of the biggest
challenges parents face when raising their children. And in “Reading is
FUNdamental,” MAÑAGU gathered great tips and sound advice from
parent-educators Vanessa Garcia, Alma Terbio and Aprilyn Villaflor.
Thanks to our editorial team for Your Tween: Carla Bordallo, Dr.
Cristina Manaloto, Marie Monge and Roberta Yamamoto who share
their experience in handling their children’s “Tween Crushes.” I
certainly appreciate the approach they take in helping their children
through the emotional highs and lows of growing up.
As always, MAÑAGU is grateful to our resident expert in patient
education, Barb Mafnas, who introduces “HypnoBirthing” as a
new technique for expectant parents to use before, during and
after childbirth. And in her column, Barb embarks on a personal
transformation as she recognizes “Today is the First Day of the Rest of
My Life.”
Lastly, we welcome Laura Nelson-Cepeda’s top 10 “Baby Gift Must
Haves.” As mother and co-owner of Neni & Me, Laura has first-hand
knowledge of what parents find useful for them and their babies. You’ll
be happy to know that you can tap into Neni & Me’s advice and
products at Sagua Mañagu as they prepare to open their shop by the
entry to the birthing center in January 2014.
On behalf of Dr. Bordallo, Dr. Bez, Flori Sanchez and our family here
at Marianas Physicians Group and Sagua Mañagu, it’s my pleasure to
offer best wishes for a safe and joyful holiday season to our readers,
our patients, their families and friends.
2 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
Mañagu
Editorial Contributions
Sonia alcorn
Carla Bordallo
Jennifer Camacho
Velma Ellis
Vanessa Garcia
Barbara Mafnas, RN
Cristina Manaloto, MD
Carrie McKinney
Marie Calvo Monge
Laura Nelson-Cepeda
Jessica Pettigrew
Alma Terbio
Aprilyn VillafLor
Roberta Yamamoto
Owners
Annie Bordallo, MD
Ellen Bez, MD
Managing Partners
Lina Leon Guerrero
Flori Sanchez
Published by
Sagua Mañagu
Editing & Layout
David Castro
Carlene Okiyama
Cover by
LEILani Techaira
Copyright © 2013 by
Sagua Mañagu
All rights reserved.
No portion of this magazine may
be reprinted without prior
written permission.
We welcome your comments at:
info@saguamañagu-mpg.com
CONTENTS
8
HypnoBirthing 6
Preparing the Pack for Its New Addition –
Part 1 8
Baby Gift Must Haves 10
14
Birth Stories 14
Discipline: What Works 18
Reading is FUNdamental 20
18
24
28
Tween Crushes 24
Triathlons & More 28
Regular Features
Congratulations to all the Families
Born at Sagua Mañagu 30
Barb’s Corner 32
About the cover:
“Ol’ blue eyes, Julius Pettigrew
Sanchez, made it to full term
after an early scare in April.”
Photo by Leilani Techaira.
Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 3
Lamaze and More in 2013
Instructor Barbara C. Mafnas, RN, LCCE, CLC, IBCLC
Lamaze® Classes: A combination of
relaxation, breathing techniques, comfort
measures and position changes that are
designed to help during labor and birth.
We stress that partners are essential
throughout labor, birth, postpartum and
parenting. Please bring: a pillow, blanket,
bath towel (for foot soaks), tennis ball,
snacks and water. Moms need to wear
shorts or slacks and comfortable shoes as
you’ll be doing some floor work!
Baby Bonding: Designed to help mothers
and fathers gain confidence as they pick
up on feeding cues and other needs
of their babies. The class includes the
first hours after birth, breast feeding
and feeding cues, baby bath time and
massage.
Prenatal Care: Covers journey of
pregnancy from positive pregnancy test to
third trimester. The class Includes prenatal
care, nutrition, common discomforts,
early warning signs and sexual activity.
Also covered are the benefits of rest and
exercise.
Orientation: A class specially designed
for parents who choose Sagua Mañagu,
covering pregnancy from positive
pregnancy test through third trimester, then
onto childbirth and newborn care. The first
part of the class includes procedures and
care during pregnancy, good nutrition and
exercise as well as answers to common
questions regarding discomforts, early
warning signs, sexual activity, the effects of
alcohol, smoking and recreational drugs.
The second part is an orientation to Sagua
Mañagu that includes patient rights and
responsibilities, the differences between
birthing centers and hospitals; family
involvement; newborn care here and what
to expect when you go home.
Sibling Class: Designed for parents and
children. Discussion of child involvement in
the labor process and emotional aspects of
being with mom at this time. Also covers
mother/child relationship changes and
expectations. Film “Lizzie and the Baby”
addresses relationship changes, doctors
visits with mom, animated growth of the
fetus, how baby is born, what new baby’s
look like, what they can do, how to hold
them and more!
Baby Daddy Class: Designed exclusively
for dads to help increase their confidence
in becoming a new dad. Dads will
have better understanding of his woman,
recognize the classic signs of labor and
what to do, verbalize 3 feeding cues of
the newborn, understand relationships and
dynamics, and understand his role as the
new dad.
Parenting & Safety: This 2-hour class
helps parents understand the importance
of interacting with their baby and
understanding growth and development to
provide realistic expectations. The class
will also use open discussion to talk about
subjects as discipline, prevention of Sudden
Infant Death Syndrome, and Shaken Baby
Syndrome. Life skills such as basic infant
CPR will be included.
Typical Fees:
Lamaze $60
Lamaze Refresher Class $40
Baby Bonding, Prenatal Care, Orientation,
Sibling Class, Baby Daddy, & Parenting &
SafetyNO CHARGE.
All classes are held at Sagua Mañagu Birthing Center
Please call us at 647-1417 or 1418
SATURDAY
Prenatal
Care
12p-2p
Baby
Bonding
3p-5p
TUESDAY
Lactation
Consult
with Barb
5p-6p
Traditional
Lamaze
5 class
series
6p-8p
FRIDAY
&
SATURDAY
Customized
2-day
course
6p-9p
SATURDAY
THURSDAY
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SATURDAY
Crash
Course
1-day
Noon-6p
Orientation
5:30p8:30p
Orientation
5:30p8:30p
Orientation
Noon-3p
Breastfeeding
Café / Support
Group
9a-11a
Lamaze
Refresher
6:30p8:30p
NOV
Nov 16
Nov 5, 12,
19, 26
Nov 15-16
Nov 2
DEC
Dec 21
No Class
Dec 20-21
Dec 7
JAN
Jan 11
Jan 7, 21,
28, Feb 4
& Feb 11
Jan 10-11
Jan 4
*Subject to change without notice*
4 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
SATURDAY
FRIDAY
Sibling
Baby Daddy
Noon-3p (5-10 yo)
5p-6p
Parenting &
Safety
1p-3p
Orientation
3:30p6:30p
Nov 8
Nov 9
Nov 2, 9, 16,
30
Nov 30
Nov 15
Dec 19, 26
Dec 6, 13
Dec 14
Dec 7, 14,
21, 28
Dec 28
Dec 20
Jan 2, 9,
23, 30
Jan 3, 10,
24
Jan 11
Jan 4, 11, 25
Jan 25
Jan 10
your pregnancy
By: Barbara Mafnas, RN, LCCE, CLC, IBCLC
In August, I had the opportunity to go to Phoenix, Arizona
and train for a HypnoBirthing course. With all the hype
around Britain’s royal baby and “Kate’s” birth choice, I
decided it warranted some attention. So, off I went.
I have to admit I was skeptical at first. However, as the
4-day training ended, I could see the value in this teaching
and it would afford an opportunity for birth choices on
Guam. Excited, I came home and shared my experience
with peers, co-workers and a small class. Some women will
continue to seek Lamaze classes and I will continue to teach
them. Some will benefit from HypnoBirthing, which has a
25-year history.
HypnoBirth is for pregnancy, birth and beyond. It is a
meditative state of relaxation and surrender to the instinctual
process of birth. The concept does not guarantee pain free
birthing experiences but many have reported they do not
experience pain, but tightening or just pressure. It is about
tuning into self and baby and letting birth happen.
How is it different from Lamaze?
Lamaze is over 50 years old and is about coping skills
and breathing techniques. It is an educational experience
of expectations, and how to deal when complications
arise. HypnoBirth helps women to let go of their fears and
anxieties surrounding birth. Not much if any detail is placed
on complications as this philosophy believes that discussing
complications sets women up for more fear and worry.
Specific topics can be discussed individually as needed.
It is suggested that Lamaze classes begin when couples
are 28 weeks and beyond. The HypnoBirth classes can
begin in the first trimester if desired. “The class focuses on
deep relaxation, working with the body, working with fears,
releasing fear, and replacing it with confidence and trust in
the birth process.”
6 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
The HypnoBirth website offers answers to frequently asked
questions about the technique. Below are some of the
questions and answers.
Will I experience a pain-free birth?
When women understand that constrictor hormones created
by fear cause pain, they learn instead to release fear thus
creating endorphins—the feel good hormones. They are
then able to change their expectations of long, painful labor
and are able to replace them with expectations of a more
comfortable birthing. Women are not promised a painless
birthing, though many HypnoBirthing mothers report having
a relatively pain-free birth or one that they were able to
manage easily…birth can be accomplished in a shorter
period and much more comfortably.
How is my birth companion involved?
He or she practices with the mother in helping to
prepare for deep relaxation. During the labor, the Birth
Companion guides the laboring mother through hypnosis
prompts, relaxation techniques, deepening methods, and
visualizations, provides comfort measures, and joins in
welcoming the new baby.
What if my doctor/midwife is not familiar
with HypnoBirthing?
Can I still use this method and how can they help me to
achieve my HypnoBirthing goals? If your caregiver (provider)
is not knowledgeable about HypnoBirthing, take the
opportunity early in your pregnancy to discuss the techniques
you will be using and the type of calm environment that you
desire. (The birth is about your baby and you.) Educated,
confident, deeply relaxed mothers, who feel empowered to
birth naturally have fewer complications.
Will HypnoBirth be useful to me if I don’t
opt for a natural childbirth or if I need
medical intervention or a C-section?
Absolutely. HypnoBirthing classes will help you to learn
relaxation skills that will be useful to both you and your
baby, regardless of your birth experience. In the event
medical intervention is needed, you will find yourself better
able to remain calm and in control.
Will I be unconscious or will I remember
my birth experience?
You are definitely conscious during self-hypnosis. The
HypnoBirthing mother is deeply relaxed, but she is also
an active participant in the labor process. Hypnosis is a
natural state of relaxed concentration and focus. It is similar
to daydreaming or focusing that occurs when you are
engrossed in a book, staring at a fire, or are driving a car.
You will be fully in control. You will be aware of your surges
(contractions), but you will feel relaxed and calm.
The language of HypnoBirth is different from Lamaze
and different from the medical words we use on a day to
day basis. A contraction is replaced by “surges,” water
bag breaking is replaced by “releasing,” and dilation is
replaced by “opening.” The words are exchanged to make
them less frightening, softer on the ears. The staff at Sagua
Mañagu will be prepared to assist you in whatever choice
of labor practice you choose.
Because each birth experience is unique and each
woman and her companion has personal goals and desires
for birth, it is important that these be expressed. You will
be assisted in designing a birth plan. It is important to
approach birth knowledgeable and educated to get what
you want.
I did a trial run of a 5-week course and followed it through
by attending the birth. It was phenomenal. The mother was
calm and peaceful and the baby was perfect in everyway. Her
birth experience will empower her for years to come.
Birth is a sacred event; a moment when a woman
transitions to mother, and a couple becomes a family. It can
be a scary experience, but it does not have to be.
Classes for HypnoBirthing will be available in 2014. Please call
Barbara Mafnas at 777-6526 for more information.
Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 7
your baby
Preparing the Pack
for Its New Addition
– Part 1
By: Sonia T.H. Alcorn
“Come on. Open up.” Kaiden Alcorn tries to get Hazel to show her pearly whites.
For most couples, having a pet – dog or cat – is their first
induction into “parenthood.” So when a human baby
arrives, the family dynamics change drastically. Who
was once mom and dad’s object of affection is now
experiencing divided attention, occupied space and a
modified activity schedule. While it requires adequate
preparation, there is no reason to fear the introduction
process between pet and baby.
Now or Later
When considering the adoption of an animal for the first
time, allow 6 months minimum for adequate training.
Bringing a new pet into the home just before or soon
after the birth of a baby is not the best idea. However,
owning a pet prior to having children increases pack unity
and strengthens familial bonds, which allows fellow pack
members to accept a new constituent more easily.
The American Humane Association (AHA) published
an online booklet, “Pet Meets Baby,” in which these
recommendations were provided:
• Never put your dog in a position where it feels
threatened or teased.
• Walk and exercise your dog regularly to keep it healthy
and provide mental stimulation.
8 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
• Use a leash in public to ensure you are able to control
your dog.
• Regular veterinary visits are essential to regulating the
health of your dog. A sick or injured dog is more likely
to bite.
• Be alert. If someone approaches you and your dog
while out on a walk, caution them to wait before petting
the dog, giving your pet time to be comfortable with the
stranger.
• Make sure your pet is socialized as a young puppy so
it feels at ease around people and other animals.
This information can be applied both before and after
bringing home baby. However, if you adhere to this
advice prior to baby’s arrival, you will have a much better
foundation to build upon.
Preparation
If you are pregnant and already own a pet, now is the
time to address any of his existing behavioral problems.
Do not wait until trouble begins to train your furry friend
how to demonstrate appropriate conduct. Dr. Karen Becker
suggests the following tips in preparing any dog(s) or cat(s)
for the arrival of baby:
your baby
• If your pet is not used to being around
children, arrange for supervised interaction
with children who have experience around
animals.
• Gradually adjust your personal schedule
according to changes that might occur once
baby arrives (i.e., walk dog an hour or two
later, split up play time into shorter sessions,
etc.).
• Since certain areas of the home may become restricted
later on, such as the baby’s room, give pet his own safe
spot that will always be safe for him to rest or retreat to.
• Keep calm when instituting these restrictions; baby
gates can be helpful during this process.
Introduction
When baby arrives at his new home for the first time, allow
someone else to hold him while you greet your pets. If
you labored at home and then abruptly fled to the birthing
center (as I did!) they will be anxious for an explanation.
Maintain a calm atmosphere; command dogs to lie down,
if necessary. Allow your cat(s) to approach the baby on her
own time. Never compel any of the animals to do anything
against their will.
Introducing the baby to each individual animal will also
help to minimize any potential chaos. Allow each animal
to make his own assessment, supervising EVERY
interaction between dog(s) and child to ensure
the safety of all. At the same time, withholding
the baby could arouse suspicion and potentially
create opportunity for danger as well so take time
to socialize altogether. If your animals are welltrained and regard you as pack leader, change is
more readily acceptable.
Brett Silks, expert dog behavioralist here
on Guam, explains the importance of understanding the
pack structure. The hierarchy begins with the adults, then
the dogs, next the children (10 years old or younger) and
finally visitors. In other words, the adult(s) of the household
should be respected as “pack leader(s).” The animals will
subsequently put themselves next in line. Children younger
than 10 years old should not challenge this order since
they lack both the stature and maturity to demand the same
respect. Visitors should also understand this order and not
challenge their position; respecting that they are within the
pack’s domain.
Look for the sequel to this article in the next edition of
MAÑAGU Magazine!
For tips on training, Brett Silks can be contacted at his canine
boarding facility, Boonie B&B, at 989-3647 (DOGS). You can also
find them on Facebook!
Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 9
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Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 11
12 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 13
Birth Stories
The Nativity has been the cornerstone of holiday celebrations for countless years.
When we think of the Nativity, we think of the Christ child in a manger surrounded by Mary, Joseph, shepherds and wise
men. The Nativity is ever present during the holiday season, reminding us of the true reason behind the Christmas season.
While this is central to time honored Christmas traditions, nativity also means birth or place of origin. This holiday
season, we asked two of our Sagua Mañagu mothers to share their personal nativity stories, offering Mañagu readers a
glimpse into one of the most precious moments a mother will ever experience, the birth of her child.
Isla Rae
May 25, 2013
Carrie & Joshua McKinney
Our birth story wasn’t what I expected, but was
still pretty wonderful. The best part was that,
thanks to the wonderful team around me, I was
able to determine my own experience.
True to my type A nature, I had studied
about hypnobirthing, did prenatal yoga, read
lots of books, and took Lamaze with my husband
in order to prepare myself as much as possible
for my first labor. The best advice was from
my midwife who cautioned us to allow some
flexibility because “you are handed a labor and
you never know what you are gonna get!” My first contraction was at 1 a.m. on Friday
morning. The contractions continued throughout
the morning until my husband and I went for a
labor check at 1 p.m. on Friday (1-2 cm). Later
that afternoon after my contractions became
more regular, we returned and checked into
the birthing center at 6 p.m. (2-3cm). The staff
wasn’t sure I should check in yet, but I wasn’t
feeling confident at home so they let us stay. Baby Isla Rae
was born at 3:34 a.m. on Saturday morning, after 20
minutes of breathing down and pushing (very little tearing—
thank you midwife!). A healthy baby girl—22.5 in., 7 lbs.
14 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
15 oz.
I had three things that made my labor more challenging
than I was expecting. First was that the labor was all in my
hips and thighs and involved sciatic nerve pain. I never
felt anything in my stomach. The second was that I had
back labor most of the time because baby
turned sunny side up. Thankfully at about 7
centimeters or so the labor nurse was able
to turn her (God bless you, nurse). I got a lot
of relief from the back labor and was able
to push baby out in a much better position. I
loved my labor nurse and midwife. The third
is that our baby girl was really long (22.5 in),
and she started out, even in early labor, way
down the birth canal. When I got to around
6 centimeters, my body started wanting to
push her out. This was unpleasant as it was
like my body was forcing me to push against
a brick wall. So all that hypnobirthing training
to be calm and still was out the window as my
body went from pushing during contractions
to shaking from all the hormones between
contractions. The hypno-birthing did help me
stay calm, but not quiet or still! I think the thing that helped me the most
was that the birthing center staff was very
supportive of us moving around and doing
Carrie aand Joshua McKinney smother their Isla Rae with kisses.
whatever I needed to help me through the
labor. They offered suggestions, but weren’t
bossy, and they said such kind and supportive things
that made me feel like I was going to be okay. Also, the
prenatal yoga really gave me a lot of positions to try, and I
eventually found some that made everything so much more
tolerable. I was in the shower for a while during early labor
letting the hot water run down my back. My husband did
hip compressions through almost every contraction during
active labor. That really helped relieve the nerve pain. He
was so encouraging and accepting of all the things I was
throwing his way. The research really helped me to trust my
body to know what it was doing, and helped prevent me
from panicking. I thought I was doing a terrible job, but
the labor nurse said, “but you are so calm!” The midwife
assured me that I was giving the baby a gentle birth
(even though it didn’t feel that way to me). The words of
encouragement stand out in my memory and helped keep
me going.
At the birthing center, they practice the ‘golden hour’
where they put the baby right on your stomach immediately
after birth to let you bond with the baby and try to breast
feed, which she did for almost an hour. I think somewhere
along the labor process I had zoned out and lost track
that this was all about a baby. When they placed her on
my stomach, it was very surreal (plus it was 3:30 in the
morning and I hadn’t slept the night before). I just kind
of stared at the top of her head and wondered what in
the world was going on! My husband was taken with her
immediately. The whole thing was surreal, really. I felt a
little like I was outside watching. Since my labor, I have
fallen in love with this little girl, and I feel so good that we
were able to bring her into the world drug free and give
her the best possible start.
Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 15
Julius
July 12, 2013
Jessica Pettigrew & Jacob
Sanchez
My dear sweet baby Julius, let
me tell you about the day you
were born…
After trying to escape
the womb early in April,
Mommy was so happy each
day you stayed inside my
belly. When your due date
came and went, I knew you
were okay. We enjoyed those
last few days swimming with
Grandma Karen, walking in
the warm evenings, helping
other mommies have their
babies. Monday evening
we ate dinner with Daddy’s
cousins at Auntie Flori and Uncle Diron’s house. Diron
grilled up massive steaks and shrimp. We had potatoes,
yummy salad, and we made peanut butter cookies. When
we returned home, Daddy and I watched the news and
were getting ready for bed when around 11 p.m., sploosh,
your bag of water released. I was surprised because I’d not
felt many contractions all day. But they started!
I called Grandma Karen and she came over about an
hour later. By this time, I knew you were ready to come
to us. Daddy rubbed my back as I swayed on an exercise
ball. Twice we filled the bathtub with water and lavender
oil, the warm water felt so good. Sometimes I felt pain
in my front lower belly, sometimes it was really in my
back. Daddy helped me breathe using the hypnobirthing
techniques that we had practiced for months. As things
became more intense, I sat in the rocking chair in our living
room. I knew I was okay, I knew you were okay. We were
just doing this very intense thing together: you, me and
Daddy.
Around 2 a.m., as I became more focused with each
surge, Grandma Karen (also a midwife) checked my cervix
to find I was already 4-5cm/very thin and your head
was very low. I began to cry with this news, relieved and
surprised that we had already come so far together. After
another soak in the tub, we called midwife Alice and nurse
Christina to meet us at the birth center.
When we arrived, the room was cold and I remember
sitting on a big ball at the end of the bed swaying with the
pain. When the pain started, I would pull the white sheet
up over my head to make a little tent for just you and me. I
stared at my belly, moaning with pain. It was my back that
hurt so much! Daddy tried rubbing it, he talked to me, we
said ABCs through the pain, we counted through the pain,
I remember saying O-O-Oooooooo. But your little head
16 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
was pushing down and despite all my efforts, I just had to
push down. I moved to the hot shower, twice. There I put
one leg on the side of the tub and tried to squat and lunge
with the pain, in an effort to open my pelvis just a little
wider for you. I sat backwards on the toilet. I crawled on
my hands and knees. I rested in bed from side to side. My
cervix opened from 4-5cm, to 5-6cm, then we were kind of
stuck at 6-7cm as the sun rose and the church bells at St.
Anthony’s sounded. At this point, midwife Alice suggested
using the medicine pitocin to make the contractions a little
closer and stronger. While I knew this was reasonable, and
probably necessary, I debated it. It would mean needing
an IV, and while I knew labor progress had stalled, part of
me wanted that break. But I wanted to see you even more
than I wanted that break so onward we marched, now
with some medicine. The pains became stronger, my body
felt like it convulsed with each surge. Within an hour, it
was time to push you out. I was so ready, so determined.
I wanted to push all morning (in fact, I had been pushing,
despite all directions not to). Ready, heave, ho! Oh oh oh
oh!!! It hurt so much to push! I thought it would be great,
a relief. But it felt as if I had to push you down onto my
tailbone which caused incredible pain. Once I reached a
certain point, then it felt good, but I had to get past that
awful pain first. Alice assured me that your head was nice
and low and so I just sucked it up and with Daddy by my
side, Grandma Karen encouraging me and Alice guiding
me, we pushed and pushed! I could feel you make your
way down and out; it was incredible. After your head and
shoulders emerged, I reached down and pulled the rest of
you onto my stomach with great relief. I couldn’t believe the
size of your head and your thick, chunky thighs, all 8lbs.
and 2oz. of you. After all we’d been through together: a
snowy weekend in Saporro, a trip to Tokyo climbing up
and down Mt. Takao, premature contractions and that
whole scare, afternoons swimming in the salty sea, the
various labors and births we’d attended, a trip to South
Dakota, now you were here, in my arms, my big healthy
boy. I’d assumed that you would look like your dad so
imagine my surprise when you came out looking like me
and my dad. We did it baby Julius, just like all the women
that I take care of. We too worked together and we did it.
And now, nearly 2 weeks later as I hold you in my arms
nursing, it is amazing. Each time I nurse you, I look at your
tiny body, growing bigger each day. Daddy and I laugh at
your funny expressions, we snuggle you in the night when
you wake, and we’re so happy to be your parents.
On laboring as a midwife:
Despite all of the intensity of labor, I drew on the strength of
women I have cared for. I’ve seen women young, old, rich,
and poor push their babies into the world after intense, long
labors. I’ve seen the love in their eyes for their little ones
and I was excited to be on that journey with my son. At
one point, I remember thinking “So this is why the epidural
is appealing,” but looking back, I wouldn’t have been able
to move, roll, sit on the ball, and feel how and where to
push if I were numb from my waist down. I reminded myself
over and over that “I am okay,” my body was working
exactly as it should.
Concerned about
your child’s
HEARING?
FREE HEARING SCREENING services are available.
To schedule an appointment, call the
Guam Early Intervention System (GEIS) at
Telephone: 300-5776 / 5816
Produced by the Guam Early Hearing Detection and Intervention (Guam EHDI) Project with 100% funding support by the U.S.
Department of Health & Human Services, Health Resources and Services Administration, Grant No. H61MC00094, and facilitated by
the University of Guam Center for Excellence in Developmental Disabilities Education, Research, & Service (Guam CEDDERS).
Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 17
your child
Discipline:
What Works
By: Velma Ellis
Time out! The Ellis family effectively uses time outs to interrupt bad behavior and help Isa (left)
and Tasi (right) calm down.
Parenthood has given me the most joy out of anything
I’ve ever experienced. It has also given me the biggest
headache at one time or another. My children are now at
the age where they are able make their own choices and
at times they don’t choose wisely. As parents our job is not
only to love and nurture our children, but also to guide and
mold them into responsible adults. We do so by establishing
boundaries and enforcing discipline.
Boundaries
The boundaries we set for our children should not be meant
to control them but rather keep them safe. The world is full
of dangers that are unfamiliar to them. Explaining why they
should never touch the stove, run out into the street or talk to
strangers will help them learn to trust the rules that we set.
My oldest daughter almost had to learn from experience.
Years ago my family and I were at a courtyard
festival. I had just given birth to our second daughter and
we were all happy to be out of the house enjoying a funfilled evening. Toward the end of the night while we were
packing up our belongings, we noticed that our 3-year old
daughter who was with us a second ago was no longer
18 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
by our side. We scanned the crowd and panicked when
we saw her running towards the end of the courtyard into
a busy street. My husband dropped everything and ran
with the speed of lightning to get her. The whole time I
was holding our newborn screaming to get my daughter’s
attention. My husband grabbed her just as she reached the
curb. On their way back to us I could feel the relief, joy
and anger inside me: Thank goodness she was safe, I don’t
know what I’d do if something would have happened to her
and what in the world was she thinking?
We also set boundaries so our children will know that
they are not the only people in this world and to be mindful
of others. Boundaries can be crossed when someone’s
personal space is invaded, when they say hurtful things to
others or when there’s lack of respect for a person. These
boundaries are constantly being tested in my house. With
two girls close in age who are constantly together, sharing
a room and their personal belongings, it is hard not to cross
that line.
Discipline
We’ve all noticed children misbehaving in public; toddlers
your child
running away from their parents, 5-year olds
screaming “you can’t make me” or pre-teens rolling
their eyes. And we’ve privately judged their parents,
reassuring ourselves that we would never let the
situation get to that point or we would have handled
it better. But then it happens: the massive meltdown
that takes you completely by surprise. And suddenly
you are that parent, failing to figure out what to do.
Through trial and error and with numerous
parenting guides in our arsenal, my husband and I
have found several discipline techniques that work
for us…most of the time. They’ve changed from time
to time along with our girls’ temperament and ages.
Praising Good Behavior
As parents, we do this constantly when they’re
babies, not knowing that this is the best way to
encourage our children to continue good behavior.
Isa and Tasi enjoy the rewards of good behavior with a day in the water with their friends.
We praise them when they’re petting the dog
nicely, finishing that last bite of mushy peas, or not
homes. Unfortunately there is no cookie cutter approach
banging blocks on someone’s head. It’s important
to parenting, and like many things in life, we learn from
to give genuine praise as they get older as well, especially
our mistakes. With patience, practice and quite a few a
specific behavior that you’re trying to increase. meltdowns, finding the best techniques that work for your
family is in reach. The key is to keep calm and…wait, girls
Time Outs
stop fighting again?!?!
Time outs have been in our playbook since our girls were
toddlers and are still in use today. We use it to interrupt
bad behavior such as hitting or defying authority. By
sending them to a designated corner in the house with no
distractions they are able to calm down, learn self-control
and remember the rules. This also gives us parents time to
collect ourselves as well. I know it has saved me several
times from engaging in an argument or power struggle with
my 6-year old explaining why she’s not allowed to jump on
the top bunk bed for the umpteenth time.
Privileges
Reminding our girls that such things as iPads, TVs, and
playtime with friends are all privileges that can be taken
away has helped our kids with self-discipline. It gives them
an incentive to control their behavior. When that behavior is
not appropriate or when boundaries are crossed a privilege
is taken away for a period of time and must be earned
back.
Whatever the disciplinary course, the key is to be
consistent. If the consequence is leaving the park when
he doesn’t play nice, be ready to leave the park. If it’s
throwing away all the toys on the floor if they’re not picked
up, make sure you have a garbage bag ready. The hardest
part of discipline is having the energy and determination to
follow through. Kids are so persistent and parents get tired
like everyone else. When we give in, let them get away
with it or let them do whatever they want, our children learn
that our rules are flexible.
We set boundaries for our children to teach them
values, give them responsibility and keep them safe. We
use different forms of discipline to enforce the rules in our
Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 19
your child
Can you remember the first time your child
sang the alphabet? Spelled her first word? How excited
and proud you must have been! By encouraging children
to read and sharing pride in their success, parents pave the
way for a lifetime of learning.
Mañagu is pleased to share the insights of three
full-time educators and mothers: Aprilyn Villaflor, Vanessa
Garcia and Alma Terbio.
How important is knowing how to read at an
early age?
Aprilyn Villaflor: Reading at any age is fundamental,
but more so at an early age. I learned from my Human
Growth and Development class in college that a child’s
brain is like a sponge, ready and willing to soak up as
much information as possible. We, as parents, are our
children’s first teachers. We must take advantage of the
fact that their little brains are able to absorb so much
information rapidly. Teaching children to read at an early
age is an opportunity that we should not pass up.
Vanessa Garcia: I believe reading to your child at an
early age has its advantages when they eventually begin
school. According to the joint position statement of the
International Reading Association (IRA) and the National
Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC),
Early Literacy is what children know about reading and
writing before they actually read and write. Research shows
that children arriving at kindergarten with early literacy
20 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
The Villafor family clockwise from left: Rey, Aprilyn, Rafael, Renae, and Alexandre.
Photo by Toni Brooks.
your child
skills are more likely to
be successful in learning
to read and write.
Alma Terbio:
Knowing how to read
at an early age is very
important. Kids who
enter kindergarten
with knowledge of
basic school readiness
skills tend to do much
better academically.
Parents can help
prepare toddlers
and preschoolers for
kindergarten by saying
or singing the alphabet,
helping kids identify
letters and numbers,
colors and shapes,
and even writing their
names.
How does it affect
a child’s overall
performance in
school?
The Garcia family from left: Vantaysha,(seated on her lap) Azariah, Aaron and Vanessa Garcia.
AV: Reading at an early
age may help children to
enter school ready to succeed. According to Early Moments,
an online early reading resource, numerous studies have
shown that students who are exposed to reading before
preschool are more likely to do well in all facets of formal
education. This makes so much sense because as a teacher,
my main teaching resource is the textbook. This is true
for teachers in the elementary school, all the way through
to college level courses. A child’s overall performance in
school will ultimately depend on his/her ability to read and
comprehend that textbook.
VG: One of the primary benefits of reading to toddlers and
preschoolers is a higher aptitude for learning in general.
I see that children who are exposed to reading before
preschool are more likely to do well in all facets of formal
education.
AT: Teaching kids how to read for enjoyment very early
on will help improve comprehension skills and overall
language development. Parents can help build the feeling of
success in their toddlers as they begin to identify letters of
the alphabet everywhere they go. Eventually toddlers and
preschoolers will start to say the letters, colors, shapes, and
numbers automatically when they see them. Because of this
head start in developing these skills before kindergarten,
students enter school motivated, interested, and eager to
learn even more.
How can we introduce our children to reading?
AV: We can introduce our children to reading by first
reading to them. I love to read! My love for reading came
from listening to my mother read me bedtime stories.
Because of this, I have read bedtime stories to all my
children. My two older children, Alexandre (9 1/2) and
Renae (8), now read me bedtime stories, thanks to their
GATE teacher who enforces a reading log. Thanks, Vickie!
My youngest child, Rafael, is14 months old. I read to him
at night before he goes to bed. There are also some online
resources that parents can use to introduce reading to their
children at an early age. I let my Rafael watch Your Baby
Can Read on YouTube. So far, he can read the word,
“Hi.” I use flashcards to test him. Parents can try something
similar to introduce reading at an early age.
VG: We can introduce our children to reading as early as
possible. Before my son was born in 2013, I can remember
reading to my nieces, Julia and Isabella when they were
1 month old. Some ways to introduce reading to your little
ones is simply by reading to them every day. Read a variety
of books. Babies typically prefer books with colors and
bright pictures. Also, let your baby explore by allowing
them to hold the book themselves and play with the pages.
Remember, children learn through exploration.
AT: Parents can introduce children to reading by modeling
Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 21
it at home. Have
regular story time
with children—even
for young infants—
and ask simple
questions about
the story. Parents
can also promote
the importance
of reading by
casually picking
up a magazine or
a newspaper and
reading it in plain
view. I say things
like, “Wow! I didn’t
know about that”
every now and then
just to show my boys
that we can always
learn something new
and exciting from
what we read. I also
found that taking
the boys to the
The Terbio family from left: Logan, James, Adam and Alma.
bookstore or library
helped them develop
struggled with reading I would continue to monitor where
interests in books and reading. Having a little library of
their strengths and weaknesses lie. Your child has strengths.
easy books at home is helpful too. If the child is more techMaybe he can draw beautifully or has an amazing
savvy, try downloading educational apps that teach reading vocabulary. Maybe she has great listening skills. If your
child is artistic, use that talent at home as a way for your
skills as well.
child to show understanding of a story you read aloud;
What can parents do to detect and then help their draw a picture of the problem in the story, or draw the main
character. Continue to help them with their weaknesses. Just
kids who struggle with reading?
because your child can’t physically decode the words and/
AV: Once a child starts school, parents must always
communicate with teachers to determine whether or not their or write a response to a reading comprehension question
child is struggling with reading. If it is determined that a
doesn’t mean you can’t push for higher comprehension, or
child is struggling, parents can make or buy flashcards to
neglect one of your child’s strengths. Letting your children
practice letter names, sounds, and/or sight words. Parents
use their strengths will boost their confidence, and it has the
can also help at home by reading to their children or
benefit of letting them see that you know they are excelling
allowing their children to read daily for at least 15 minutes.
at something.
It is important to ask the child comprehension questions after If you’re a parent and observe that your little one has
reading small sections of text to check for understanding.
struggled with reading since you first started teaching her to
When reading to children who are young, it is important to
read, it is best to consult with a professional.
point to each word read and allow the child to track you
pointing. The children will see how the words that you are
AT: If parents suspect that their child may have a hard
reading look.
time with basic reading or learning, even after numerous
forms of intervention at the school level, then a referral
There are also numerous reading aids that can be
purchased, like Leap Frog or other technological gadgets
for a Special Education evaluation can be made. Through
like that. Once again, the internet can also provide parents
my experience as a psycho-educational evaluator with
the Guam Department of Education, evaluations include
with many reading resources, both free and not so free, to
a comprehensive assessment of the child’s abilities and
take advantage of. Finally, parents can pay for tutoring if
achievement levels, as well as assessments in language
they can afford to. Places like Sylvan Learning Center can
development. If evaluations indicate any weaknesses
help children who are struggling in school.
that call for a specially designed instruction, then special
VG: Again, as a parent and teacher, if I noticed they
education intervention can be provided.
22 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
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your tween
Tween
Crushes
Disney recently released a special edition of its popular
animated film, The Little Mermaid. In one scene when
the young mermaid Ariel is fluttering about, humming to
herself, smiling from ear to ear. Her older sister immediately
recognizes the signs: “Ariel’s in love.”
According to New York City family therapist Sari
Cooper, “Having a crush in late elementary school
and early middle school is one of the cornerstones of
growing up. Before we can see the physical changes
of adolescence, preteens experience a rise in hormones
resulting in romantic feelings.” (See “Puppy Love: Preteens
and Crushes” on www.tweenparent.com.) Like others in the
field, Cooper reminds parents that crushes are normal.
So how can parents handle this new phase of their
child’s development? We asked MAÑAGU’s editorial team
for their insights.
Ma. Cristina Q. Manaloto, M.D.
How old was your child when he or she had her/his first
crush?
I learned about their crushes as early as age 4-5.
How did you know about the crush?
I routinely ask them.
What was your initial reaction?
I was curious and delighted.
What were your concerns?
At the age of 4-5, I really have no real concerns. I just
made sure they understood that a crush is admiring
somebody, nothing serious.
24 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
How did you communicate your concerns to your child?
I openly talk to them about the issue.
What did you and your child talk about in relation to the
crush?
I asked about the qualities the person had that he/she
admired.
Did the crush reciprocate your child’s feelings?
I think so.
If yes, how did you guide your child through this special
friendship?
I reminded her/him it is OK to have a crush but not to be
serious about the feelings. I also told him/her not to be
open about their feelings or let the “crush” learn about it, to
admire from a distance, so as to avoid being teased about
it or if the feelings changed or stopped, the friendship is
maintained without any awkwardness.
If not, how did you help your child handle the
disappointment and hurt feelings?
I always say that you cannot have everything but it is OK to
continue admiring, reminding him/her again that having a
crush should not be taken too seriously.
What advice—or consolation—do you have for parents of
tweens in relation to puppy love and crushes?
It is important to establish open communication with our
children with regards to their crushes/puppy love so they
can be encouraged to confide in us and trust that we will
be able to guide them properly. As parents, we should try
to understand our child’s feelings but set limitations, always
reminding them to focus on their priority, their studies!
your tween
Carla Bordallo
How old was your child when he or she had her/his first
crush?
Middle school. How did you know about the crush?
I was told by a giggling tween. What was your initial reaction?
Shock. What were your concerns?
Heartache. How did you communicate your concerns to your child?
We talked about it and relationships. What did you and your child talk about in relation to the
crush? We talked about relationships and expectations that
they had about each other and about how this kind of
relationship could change the friendship. Did the crush reciprocate your child’s feelings?
Yes.
If yes, how did you guide your child through this special
friendship?
I told her she wasn’t allowed to be alone at school with
him. No sneaking away to kiss or hold hands. Stay with the
group. They both played sports so they would watch each
other’s games. They both had phones so they would check
on each other after a game to see how they felt when they
played and how the other’s game went. I let them support
each other in things outside of their relationship. A lesson
in Commitment. I really just let them be friends. Strong
encouraging friends. Expect to respect each other’s limits.
They called it “going out.“ It was like a compromise. How
much dating can you do with your parents driving you
around? But I hoped it set the groundwork for when (they)
would be driving themselves. Marie Calvo Monge
When I first casually mentioned what this month’s topic
was to my daughters, a tween and teen respectively,
their response in unison was a resounding, “MOM! Don’t
embarrass us!” So, because in their eyes, their dignity is at
stake, I’ll try to speak as generally as possible.
Admittedly, I feel like I’m not the best authority on this
subject, as I haven’t dealt too much with this experience.
Nevertheless, I’ve reiterated to my children that this is part
of growing up and they should never feel awkward about
talking to me or their father about this. When speaking
about crushes, my daughters are dramatically different.
One is more open and doesn’t hesitate to let me know
when she thinks a boy is cute or when she is developing a
crush. The other employs the “Boys are stupid!” mentality
and reassures us that she will never have a boyfriend ever
(yeah, right)!
Without naming names, one of my daughters
experienced her first crush at age 12. A few of her friends
at school were already “dating” (in the tween sense of
the word) and so she didn’t think it was unnatural to let
us know as her parents. I was already quite complicit in
encouraging her teen celebrity idol crushes by purchasing
merchandise, taking her to movies, concerts and the like,
but this was difficult to digest, because this seemed too
real! In my eyes, she was still a young girl and it seemed
too soon for her to be entering this phase. Her father was
If not, how did you help your child handle the
disappointment and hurt feelings?
I always tell my kids and their friends that middle school,
high school and college are just stepping stones to so much
more and if they find themselves together after exploring the
world then it was meant to be. They seem to appreciate that
bit of romanticism.
What advice—or consolation—do you have for parents of
tweens in relation to puppy love and crushes?
That it’s very real and intense. Break ups are hard for
everyone. For starters, listen, listen, listen! Just recognizing
and acknowledging their feelings whether it’s sadness or
relief will help them continue to feel good about themselves. Nov.Dec. 2013 • MAÑAGU • 25
your tween
crushed and had a much harder time handling it. Though
harmless and innocent, it brought him to the realization,
that someday his girls were going to grow up and deal with
different emotions, and perish the thought…BOYS!
The crush she had wasn’t reciprocated and she was
understandably sad about it. Just as it was challenging
to learn about this crush, it was equally challenging to
see my child hurt in an emotional way. It prompted the
discussion, however, that boys should not be the center of
their universe. As parents we do our best to reinforce that
they should focus on themselves, their friendships and other
passions, becoming comfortable with who they
are, not fixated with how to look or
act to impress a boy. We know
that there are inevitably more
crushes (and relationships) to
come, but try to empower
them to know that being a
tween or teen doesn’t mean
needing a boyfriend.
ROBERTA
YAMAMOTO
How old was your
child when he or
she had her/his first crush?
The first cute and innocent crush
occurred when she was four
years old. But the one that she
remembers happened in the
2nd grade.
How did you know
about the crush?
My girl and I have
always been able to
talk about anything so
she was the one that told me about her
crush.
What was your initial reaction?
I was not surprised. At that age, it’s cute.
What were your concerns?
In 2nd grade my concerns were minimal. My concerns
now, however, are much greater. Since she is a tween,
she notices boys more and vice versa. I see that her selfesteem is strong but I do worry that she might think that by
not having a boyfriend she will be left out, especially if her
friends have “boyfriend.”
How did you communicate your concerns to your child?
The best way I find to communicate any concerns is to
speak directly to my girl. With all the different types of
social media, we parents need our own “Facetime” with
our kids. At her age, our talks are not planned or scripted.
26 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
I take any opportunity, such as a TV show, movie, music
video or a real life situation. If I feel that there is something
to discuss, I will begin to ask questions. That’s the only
way we will know what our children are thinking. I do it in
a non-confrontational way. I speak calmly and sometimes
with a matter of fact attitude. This allows her to feel
comfortable and open up. But this doesn’t just happen by
chance. Since my children were born, I have intentionally
made it a point to build a strong relationship with them.
So when these tween and teen years came (and too fast, I
might add) we would be able to talk.
Granted they will not tell
me everything, but
then again do I
really want to know
everything?
What did you and
your child talk about
in relation to the
crush?
I asked her what she
liked about him. I was
curious to know what
qualities she thought
were important. She
said he was funny—
yes, that’s my girl.
Did the crush
reciprocate your
child’s feelings?
We knew he liked her,
too, because he called
and left messages on
the answering machine.
Fortunately, she
remained friends with
him and didn’t take the
crush too seriously.
If not, how did you help your child handle the
disappointment and hurt feelings?
There have been times when the boys did not reciprocate
her feelings, but then again, they didn’t know she liked
them. Even though there were no hurt feelings, I reminded
her that when she’s in high school, those same boys will
look at her differently.
What advice—or consolation—do you have for parents of
tweens in relation to puppy love and crushes?
Our kids are people too. They have their own feelings; they
laugh, they cry, and they love. Maybe to us, who have
life experiences, what they feel is silly, but to them, their
feelings are real. We need to remember and understand
that because we were once their age.
for you
s
n
o
l
h
t
a
i
Tr & More
o
stom
acho
Cam
Years before my
needing another outlet
Criso
husband Leevin and I
in addition to running
r
e
f
i
Jenn
had our baby boy we
where I could kick my
By:
were already a pretty
post-baby body into
active couple. We ran
high gear. I also love
the Honolulu Marathon
being surrounded by
in 2009, again in
so much motivation—
2011, and numerous
whether it’s my running
half marathons before,
buddies or gym
during, and after. As
partner—it’s incredibly
a matter of fact, when
important to surround
we decided we wanted
myself with motivation.
to start a family, my
Often people
prerequisite so to speak,
will ask us where we
was running another
find the time to train,
marathon—which
workout, run, cycle,
was big motivation
swim­—you name it.
for running the 2011
The only answer is
Honolulu Marathon.
you have to make the
Just three months later, I
time—no one’s going
was pregnant. I wanted
to make it for you.
to have a baby when I
Work the schedule
was at my healthiest and
out with your partner.
fittest— and marathon
My husband and I
Leevin Camacho powers through
training always pushes
switch off our 3:30am
the Guam Triathlon Federation’s
me to be stronger, faster,
days so we can both
Sprint/Olympic distance series.
and better than I was
put in our long runs
before.
for the week. If one
Being active and
trains in the morning
healthy is a priority in
the other will train in
our family. With our busy careers as an attorney and
the evening. We’re also blessed with a supportive family
businesswoman—we don’t always have the time to
and if we both absolutely have to put in a workout—
workout, which is why we prioritize and make the time.
our parents gladly
Leevin is a triathlete who spends countless hours
volunteer to babysit
working on his swim, bike and run. When our son was
(even if that means at
just 7 months old, Leevin competed in the Kona Half
5:30am—yes, they’re
Ironman that consists of a 1.2-mile swim, a 56-mile bike
amazing).
ride, and a 13.1-mile run. The pain and exhaustion
Leevin and I made
from this event wasn’t enough for him. A few months
a commitment to
later he registered for the world’s toughest triathlon—an
each other and to our
Ironman Triathlon in 2014. This race is a grueling 2.4family that we’d set
mile swim, a 112-mile bicycle ride and a marathon
the right example for
26.2-mile run to finish it off. Me being nervous for him
our children. Whether
is an understatement. I’m terrified and I’m not the one
it’s working out,
competing.
eating right, training
As for myself, I like to sum up my interests in a quick
for marathons and
hashtag I often use: #runlifteatclean. In October, I ran the
triathlons—this all takes
Ko’Ko Half Marathon—my first race since giving birth.
dedication, motivation,
Then I’ll be tackling my third marathon in December.
and large doses of love
I lift weights three times a week at the gym and I eat
and support for each
pretty clean—by that I mean six small meals a day which
other—all qualities we
consists of veggies, lean protein and small snacks like
hope to pass on to our
nuts and granola throughout the day. The gym and eating son Tanom and future Leevin and Jenny Camacho are all smiles after
completing the 2009 Honolulu Marathon.
clean really grew on me after having the baby and
children.
28 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
Congratulations to all the babies
born at Sagua Mañagu!
September
Addison Jessie
October
Mary Christine Cruz
& Christopher Cepeda
Ninahi
Barbara Leon Guerrero-Godoy
Olivia Arya
Regine & Andrew Lee
& Desi Godoy
Penny & Anthony Macias
Cohen Gabriel
Skyler
Vittoria Umagat
Julynn Abraham & Raynard Primo
Ayden Isaac
De’ahni Tinina
Riley Jane
Paullaine Florida & Jim Torres
Stephanie Marie
Marione & Brandon Taimanglo
Paolo Antonio
Carmalin-Joy Lujan
& Paul Daniel Calvo
Joshua
Patricia & Charles McDonald II
Brooke-Lian Marie
Danel San Nicolas & Jesse Cruz
Elijah Curtis
Kinisha Mantanona
& Mathew Afaisen
Johnathon Joe
Yvette Butaud & Andrew Guzman
Nicolette Gogue & Johnathon Blas
Jordan-Joaquin Martin
Giavanni Devine
Mary Santos & Garret Bamba
Chrisha Rose
Rosaly & Jieme Portin
Regan
Rosalina & Ryan Torres
Kiara-Gael
Breanne-Gael Ferrer
& Kelly Harper, Jr.
Mikaela Gabrianne
Arriane Aggabao
King Jay
& Mark Gregory Benitez
Quinalynn Hallucky & Fritz Muritok
Raizayn Jun
Levi Ezra
Carimea & Juniver Rosario
Kathyrine & Justin Mendiola
Kaire Renai
Max Andrew
Krystal Yokoi & Ryan Quinata
Honey Grace & Michael Carney
Emma Juliet
Gabriella Renesme
Julianna Hattig & Brian Gumataotao
Renee Tiong
Ky’rie Samantha
Sophia Rose
Keana Evangelista & Keoni Terlaje
Shanice Collado & Neil Sabas
Dwayne
Bradley-Michael Alvin
Reachell Cruz & Dwayne Pangelinan
Amanda San Nicolas
& Michael Calalang
30 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
Asher Francisco
Maressa Atalig-Cepeda
& Christopher Cepeda
Megan Ann & Joaquin Peña
Russel Kairi
Ayako & Russel Aubin
Ezrah Jae
Randi Perez & Jimmy Manila
Zekariah Jeorge
Jordine & John Ray Taitano
Bryden James
Jorine Quintanilla & Brian Cadiz
Monroe Jane
Mary Jane Alegre & Peter Medina
Jayden Keoni
Jenikalynn Quichocho
& James Bascon
Malakai Ric
Clarissa Kakas & Eric Flores
Ethan James
Joy Estoy & Mitchell Quirante
Andy
Agnes & Dylan Marquez
Carter Sage
Camirin Duenas & Shane De Grazia
Hagen Joray
Rachel Castro & John Paul Mendiola
barb's corner
Today is the first day
of the rest of my life…
Barbara Mafnas, RN, LCCE, CLC, IBCLC
I have wanted to make some changes in my personal life.
I have book knowledge, I have the necessary equipment
and supplies, so what keeps me from the change? Me. As
humans we do not like change. We like doing things the
way we have always done; even if it means repeating the
same mistakes over and over again.
I am a busy person by nature. I can’t sit still. I feel like
I should always be doing something for somebody. I have
a hard time sitting through a movie unless it is really good,
because I can always think of other ways to
spend my time making other people happy.
I have the gift of service. I enjoy serving
others on multiple levels, but the gift of
service can at times be a curse. I am
so busy with others and helping
others that I have neglected me.
I recently read a book
called Transformations by Bill
Phillips. I got the book because
a friend of a friend posted her
before and after photos on
Facebook. This is the first time
I have been close enough to
someone who took the steps
to make a difference in their
own lives in this manner.
This lady weighed well over
300 pounds and was brave
enough to post her before
and after photos. In her post
she states she was invited
to be a guest speaker at an
upcoming conference about
her experience. How exciting, I
thought. I want to be a speaker
at a conference like that. But that
only means I have to do something
drastic like her. She motivated me
to want to change. The book I read
makes it sound doable.
I looked up an article about change and found the
“change model.” The article talked about how people
decide to change. There is a pre-contemplation stage,
a contemplation stage and action stage, a maintenance
stage, a completion stage and even a relapse stage. This
model was developed by researchers to help motivate
people who think about change and helps them to
understand what they may go through and how to stay
focused. This change model was developed for people with
32 • MAÑAGU • Nov.Dec. 2013
addictions. I am addicted to sugar.
I have been in the pre-contemplation stage for quite
some time. I can rationalize away with reason as to why I
don’t get serious about my weight problem. I am too busy!
I will start tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Funny thing,
tomorrow never comes. When today gets here, I have a
thousand things on my list of things to do.
In his book Bill Phillips moved me from precontemplation to contemplation. If those people could do
it, so could I. I began to think about how I could make it
work for me. Then all of a sudden the universe
came together for me and I was in the action
stage. I set some goals, achievable goals.
We signed up for a gym, I started
Aqua Zumba (which is crazy fun, by
the way.) I started planning. I sat
down and looked at my schedule
and decided where I could
make time for me. Monday
and Wednesday nights are
now reserved for me, and early
mornings after Joe and kids are
off to school, mine. I even have a
meal plan that starts in 3 days.
I had my daughter take a
before photo of me, in my bathing
suit. (Not a pretty sight) I had
to stop myself several times as
I was tempted to delete it from
my phone. I actually hate it but, I
forced myself to take a long look
at it and face the facts of who I
have become. I don’t like what I
see. I want to look vibrant and fit.
So the exercise has begun, the
meal planning is done. I will journal my
experiences good and bad, I will record
weight and measurements, I will call upon
those who have identified themselves as
support persons to whom I will make myself
accountable and will lean on in times of struggle and
relapse, and I will commit to a better me.
I am planning to be at least 75 pounds leaner by
Summer 2014. Think I can do it? I have a support system
that says I can. I will take it one step at a time, one day
at a time, one meal at a time and one victory at a time. If
you happen to see me out and about remember to give me
some encouragement along the way, I am sure I am going
to need it.