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Library Digitised Collections Title: Speculum: 1959 Date: 1959 Persistent Link: http://hdl.handle.net/11343/24180 File Description: Speculum: 1959 EDITORIAL. RETROSPECTIVE —No. 1. THE PRESENT STATE OF THE MEDICAL SCHOOL. OUR OWN EPIDEMIC. REPORT OF SUB-COMMITTEE RE SENATE. CLINICAL LECTURES. MEDICAL SCHOOL SPORTS. MEDICAL STUDENTS' DINNER. ROWING. MEDICAL FOOTBALL NOTES. REPORTS ON CASES. CORRESPONDENCE. NOTES AND QUERIES SPICULA. nlbottitnq: SAMUEL MULLEN, COLLINS STREET EAST Registered at the General Post Office, Melbourne, HENRY BUCK'S HAVE THEIR FINGER ON THE PULSE OF MEN'S FASHION As soon as a new men's fashion appears, Henry Buck's have it. Representatives are on the spot in the world's fashion centres to report on English, Continental and American trends and to buy direct from the houses that originate them [hat's how today, as every day, at Henry Buck's you will find the last word in items to fill the well-dressed man's wardrobe. ralleorlofCuck's swaKsfop, Sired- SHIRTMAKERS SINCE 1890 1 SPECULUM MA4921 • • • • trade mark brand PROCHLORPERAZINE MALEATE 'Stemetil' is advocated for the prevention of attacks of migraine or to lessen their frequency or severity ; for this purpose it is given continuously in a low dosage. It may also be used, in a higher dosage, at the prodromal stage, with a view to aborting the attack or relieving tie symptoms. Choice of these two methods of use will depend on the frequency of the attacks. The drug is of prophylactic use in those cases wherein attacks of true migraine are induced by emotional upsets such as travelling or excitement. This is not to be confused with headache of psychogenic origin which is not true migraine and appears to be resistant to the drug. `Stemetir is also indicated in Meniere's syndrome, labyrinthitis, and other forms of aural vertigo, and nausea and vomiting. Possible applications in psychiatry are being studied. PRESENTATIONS: Tablets of 5 mg. MANUFACTURED BY Suppositories of 25 mg . MAY & BAKER LTD An M&B brand Medical Product ear, far eff Distributors: MAY & BAKER (AUSTRALIA) PTY LTD - P.O. BOX 41 - FOOTSCRAY W.11 VICTORIA - TEL: MM9131 - 10-14 YOUNG. STREET - SYDNEY - TEL: BU 3621 z 2 SPECULUM THE MUTUAL LIFE & CITIZENS' ASSURANCE CO. LTD. (Incorporated in N.S.W. Founded 1886) More than 1,750,000 Life Policies in force, assuring over £560,000,000 Enjoy the convenience of placing all your insurance needs through the one office or representative, with the M.L.C. FOR YOUR LIFE ASSURANCE All classes of Business including: Personal, Superannuation, Partnership, Probate, Investment Policies. FOR YOUR GENERAL INSURANCE Through the M.L.C. Fire and General Insurance all classes of business including: Fire Glass Public Liability Householders Burglary Personal Accident The Houseowners Profits Fidelity Guarantee Motor Employers' Liabilities M.L.C. 305 COLLINS STREET, MELBOURNE, C.1 MU 8057 SPECULUM SPECULUM The Journal of the MELBOURNE MEDICAL STUDENTS' SOCIETY SI SPECULUM PLACET, INSPICE EDITOR : J. A. WEARING SMITH BUSINESS MANAGER : J. WRIGHT-SMITH First Published 1884 Oldest Established Student Journal In Australia "Speculum" is published for private circulation among members of the M.S.S. Copies are not supplied to non-members of the Society. 3 4 SPECULUM Contents , Page EDITORIAL 5 PRESIDENT, M.S.S. 8 THE MANAGEMENT OF MASS CASUALTIES AUSTRALIAN JOURNEY HISTORY OF PSYCHOLOGICAL MEDICINE TO SMOKE OR NOT TO SMOKE . . . ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS— STAPHYLOCOCCUS AUREUS CORTICAL REPRESENTATION K. H. Heard 10 Geoffrey Asherson 15 P. de Gail 19 Bryan Gandevia 25 Sydney D. Rubbo 33 D.D. 41 VIEWPOINT ON THE GENERAL PRACTITIONER IN THE BRITISH NATIONAL HEALTH SERVICE E. C. Gawthorn 43 A CONCISE DICTIONARY OF MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE "Herbie" 47 DIAGNOSTIC QUIZ 53 A NEW RUBAIYAT 0., My! 62 M.S.S. CHRONICAL 69 MEDLEY'S '58 75 YEAR NOTES 79 SPICULA 91 SPECULUM 5 EDITORIAL A Reflection "After much discussion and deliberation the name 'SPECULUM' in its widest sense has been chosen, as it is intended that this journal shall reflect the ideas of the Melbourne medical student among his fellows, and some light be thrown on the mind of the outside public, which we fear has remained hitherto in total darkness as to his social condition and sort of education he has the opportunity of obtaining." Seventy-five years ago the above appeared in the opening paragraph of the first editorial. Today you are reading the one hundred and sixty-fourth editorial within a cover which has incorporated a reproduction of the front of that first Speculum. Much has been written in previous years and previous anniversary editions of Speculum about its cover, its contents, and the colorful path which it has carved in its travels down the years. It, therefore, seems fitting that a reproduction of that very first cover should appear in the seventy-fifth year of the journal's publication, the Medical Students' Society being founded four years prior to this. By contrast, the medical school will be celebrating its centenary in three years. Melbourne Medical Students can well be proud of Speculum, for not only is it wholly organised and produced by students and one of the few publications issued regularly by a section of the student body, but it is the oldest University student publication in Australia—having won a race which developed between it and the Melbourne University Review (which lasted only five issues) by the narrow margin of two days in July, 1884. Since that time the cover of Speculum has been altered a significant number of times as has the number of editions appearing , n any one year. While two issues of Speculum were produced in 1884, by 1887 the number had increased to four, whereas in latter years only one issue has been forthcoming. This, in all likelihood, has been brought about by an expanding curriculum availing less time for dabbling in production, and also by the steady rise in cost of production. The journal has, however, been enlarged— the 1884 Speculum measuring as depicted and having twenty pages compared with today's dimensions which first appeared in 1921 and which has contained an increasing number of pages. For the last five years this has been in the vicinity of one hundred pages. Take another glance at the opening paragraph. It states, ". . . that this journal shall reflect the ideas of the Melbourne medical Ire SPECULUM 6 .t. + + + + + 4. ÷ + 4. + + $ + + ► 4+ •i• .1. q• + 4. + + + + -4-• + + + + .t. + + + +t, ÷ ÷ + + + + + + + + + + + ÷ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + ÷ + + + ÷ + + ÷ 4. .1. ÷ •1-+• + + .1. + + 4. + + + + + + + + + + Wherever medicinal products are used, the name `13.W. & Co.' is recognised by doctors, pharmacists and hospitals as a hallmark of fine quality. Skilled scientific workers cornbine to prepare the products and behind them are the most. up-to-date laboratories and resources of a world-renowned organisation. We are proud of our association in providing an essential part of the health services to the community. We are proud, too, that the part we play is made more significant by the fact that we, as a unit of The Wellcome Foundation Ltd., devote all our profits to the furtherance of medical research and allied sciences for the benefit of mankind. BURROUGHS WELLCOME & CO. (AUSTRALIA) LTD.,'SYDNEY, N.S.W. .i. + + 0. + ÷ ÷ ÷ + ÷ + .1. + + + ÷ .1. + + ÷ + ÷ ÷ + ÷ ÷ ÷ + + + + ÷ + + + + ÷ + ÷ + + + ÷ + + + + 4. ^ + •i• 4. Associated Houses: Auckland Bombay Buenos + + Aires Dublin Johannesburg Karachi London + 4. Montreal Nairobi New York Rio de Janeiro Rome + + + + + + + + +++++++++++++++++++•1•+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++i , SPECULUM student among his fellows . . ." In 1884 such was the case, the issue being comprised solely of students' contributions. Today the emphasis seems to be on articles of a technical nature submitted mainly by graduates —if this is a fault, then the responsibility rests wholly with the students. Assuming talent lies within the body of the Medical students, why has it not been brought to the forefront? Could it be that the burden on the student has been getting too oppressive, that the seekers and the sort-after have been too deeply immersed in the pages of their texts, or too deeply immersed in themselves? Speculum today is most versatile in its scope and should therefore provide the students with ample opportunity to write articles and to express openly their views concerning the society. The so-called "pointedness" of various aspects of the magazine is now traditional and has been so since attention was first drawn to this fact in 1901. Major disciplinary action was taken with regard to this "pointedness" in 1911, 1912, 1921 and 1933. In 1921 a whole issue was recalled and Speculum has at times been threatened with extinction. This has probably been a major factor in determining that Speculum is now published for private circulation among members of the Medical Students' Society, and it is—to quote again from the opening sentence—no longer possible that ". . . some light be thrown on the mind of the outside public, which we fear has remained hitherto in total darkness as to his social condition and sort of education he has the opportunity of obtaining." Speculum provides for both student and graduate. The former looks to the journal to read articles on subjects often new to him and for relaxation. The latter probably looks to it to find out what the students of the present day think and do, and, in the main, for relaxation from the cumbrous matter in his many technical journals. Thus, it seems reasonable that a greater proportion of Speculum should be studentinspired and that voluntary contribution should not be found wanting. Turn back to the front of this Speculum. Look again on the original pale blue cover and reflect on what it stands for still. SI SPECULUM PLACET, INSPICE SED SI NON PLACET, MEMENTO QUID SPECTES 8 SPECULUM PRESIDEN T, M. S. S. Professor Sydney Lance Townsend is welcomed back this year as President of the Medical Students' Society, a position which he has accepted on three previous occasions from 1952-54 inclusive. During his medical course Professor Townsend was R. and L. Alcock Scholar at Trinity College in 1932, 1933 and 1935 and graduated M.B., B.S. at the University of Melbourne in March, 1936, with honours in Obstetrics and Gynaecology and in Surgery. He played rugby for the University and was awarded a 'Blue' for rifle shooting. He held hospital appointments in Bendigo, Melbourne and Tennant Creek after graduation and went to London in 1938 and studied at the British Post-Graduate School, being admitted to Membership of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, and to the Diploma of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene in June, 1939. He was appointed a Registrar in the Obstetrical and Gynaecological Unit of the West Middlesex Hospital, University of London, and held the appointment for a year until his enlistment as Surgeon-Lieutenant in the Royal Navy. He served afloat during the evacuation from Dunkirk, and in the Mediterranean station as a Senior Medical Officer at Port Said. In 1943 he was promoted Surgeon-Lieutenant-Commander and i n June was transferred to the Far Eastern Fleet, with headquarters, as Senior Medical Officer at Colombo. Professor Townsend received the King's Commendation for Bravery, and was demobilised in August, 1946 with the rank of Surgeon-Commander. He was made a Fellow of the Royal College of Surgeons (Edinburgh) and spent a further year as First Assistant at his old teaching hospital, the West Middlesex, returning to Australia at the end of 1947. He commenced private practice as Consultant in Obstetrics and Gynaecology and was appointed Demonstrator in Anatomy in this University in April, 1948. He was made a Fellow of the Royal Australasian College of Surgeons and a Member of the Honorary Staff of the Women's Hospital and the Austin Hospital. He was the first appointment to the newly created Chair of Obstetrics and Gynaecology in December, 1950. In 1951 he was made a Fellow of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists. He received his M.D. in December last year for a thesis on "High Blood Pressure and Pregnancy". Professor Townsend is married and has four children. He spends three weeks each year with the Royal Australian Navy and on the recreational side enjoys gardening (done by his wife), and yachting when time permits, hoping some day that the possession of his own yacht may be his lot. SPECULUM SYDNEY LANCE TOWNSEND 10 SPECULUM THE MANAGEMENT OF MASS CASUALTIES K. H. Heard, M.B., M.R.A.C.P. The advent of thermo-nuclear weapons and the possibility of their use against cities has posed problems in medical care of casualties that have not previously needed consideration. It is not intended, in this paper, to consider the problems which belong to Civil Defence, such as: Organization of rescue squads. Stockpiling of medical equipment. Organization of medical teams and zoning of hospitals. It is of interest to note, however, that if the city of Melbourne received a direct hit from a megaton type weapon, any worthwhile medical aid would no longer be possible from our own resources. Sydney and Adelaide would have to come to our rescue. This paper is restricted to a study of the problem which will confront the individual medical officer who has the task of dealing with mass casualties and who is responsible for their initial medical treatment and their evacuation to hospital or a place where definite medical treatment is available. The first and most important task is that of giving priority to the most suitable cases. The incidence of an overwhelming number of casualties requiring major surgical treatment will prevent every case receiving the optimal medical care that is given to civilian with casualties occurring in a civilian popucasualties in peace time. Optimal medical care pre-supposes that the following requirements are available: 1. Sufficiency of medical personnel at all stages of collection, evacuation and treatment. 2. Hospital facilities for the medical and surgical (including pathology and X-ray) treatment of casualties. 3. An orderly and rapid transport system for evacuation of casualties. It must be remembered that when dealing lation, as opposed to an army in the field, provision must be made for obstetric care and the treatment of chronic diseases, diabetics, epilepsy, hemiplegia, etc., which are excluded from army casualties by medical selection at enlistment. As the above requirements cannot possibly be met in a disaster of the magnitude that may occur a new approach to the medical problem becomes necessary. This has been called "the Group approach". Its basic principles are: 1. Life is more important than limb. 2. Moribund cases must not occupy more than the minimum time. 3. Casualties in good condition will be given priority of treatment over those whose condition is deteriorating to such an extent that they will need extensive resuscitation before definite treatment is possible. This approach needs good judgment on the part of all medical officers combined with a ruthless rejection of cases that need not be treated immediately. As delayed medical care, and its cost in mortality and morbidity, is not studied in the normal way it becomes necessary to enquire into this in three ways: 1. Elapsed time between wound and treatment. 2. Types of wounds. 3. Anatomical sites of injury. SPECULUM Cost of delayed medical care: The majority of those who die of wounds die shortly after injury. Early and adequate treatment affects the late mortality much more than it does the early mortality. There is practically no difference in the percentage of wounded who died in the first 24 hours in the Crimean War and World War II, and even for 48 hours the difference is less than 2 per cent. But overall the difference for wounded in action who died is 12.5 per cent. 17 per cent. for the Crimean War and 4.5 per cent. for World War II. This 12.5 per cent. represents the group which can be saved by early and efficient treatment. In Korea under circumstances which were very favourable for early treatment but which probably could not be duplicated elsewhere, 3.6 per cent. was the total overall mortality for WIA and the 12.5 per cent. would become 13.4 per cent.—an increase of less than 1 per cent. despite an evacuation from R.A.Ps. and massive and prompt resuscitation and quick surgery. Abdominal cases were submitted to operation 2.6 hours earlier in Korea than in World War 11-6.3 hours against 8.9 hours (average). Beebe and De Bakey have produced a table showing that, assuming 3.8 per cent. is the minimum death rate for those treated adequately within 12 hours of wounding, the death rate will only rise 100 per cent, for those who have to wait five times as long, i.e., 60 hours, for treatment. Early treatment should reduce deaths from haemorrhage, shock and infection in all types of wounds. It is universally admitted that early control of external haemorrhage greatly reduces mortality and that it must always have first priority. Shock will always be treated as early and as thoroughly as possible. Infection is always worsened by delayed treatment. Even in civilian practice with presumably infection occurs in 6.4 per cent. of soft tissue wounds and 14.1 per cent. of cornearly treatment it is reported that serious pound fractures; while in burns serious infection occurred in 8.1 per cent. of second degree and 35.5 per cent. of third degree burns. In the case of burns this can seldom be prevented by attention to the wounds or by antibiotics. The importance of this is evident when one remembers that in 65 per 11 cent. of the casualties in Japan, burns were the main disability and that 85 per cent. of the casualties treated had some degree of burns. Therefore it appears that delayed treatment of burns whilst increasing the mortality from shock will not greatly influence the morbidity from infection. The incidence of gas-gangrene will increase both the mortality and the need for urgent surgery. In Korea the incidence was 0.08 per cent. and the mortality nil at one forward hospital. In World War I at one hospital where there was a delay of up to 48 hours in receiving wounded, the incidence was 5 per cent., and of these 5 per cent., 27.6 per cent. died. 1. Central Nervous System In World War II the following statement was made: "Contrary to previous observations, in the recent war the age of the wound at the time of operation, up to 48-70 hours, made little difference in the incidence of infection or the mortality. Therefore, criteria other than the time-lag from wounding are more properly used to determine priority for surgery during this period, providing the patient is receiving adequate supportive treatment and chemotherapy." H. Thoracic Wounds Open wounds limited to the thorax require formal thoracotomy. Open chest wounds must be closed; pneumothorax and haemothorax must be treated by aspiration, not by tube drainage. Tracheotomy may be required. The haemothorax is probably never completely cleared by treatment so that immediate treatment will probably not influence greatly the incidence of empyema. The difference in mortality will be in the treatment of mechanical defects and blood loss. The institution of this type of treatment early will save many lives—delay over 12 hours may quadruple the mortality rate. III. Abdominal Injuries Essentially all of these require laparotomy and rapid treatment in Korea reduced the mortality from about 23 per cent. in World War II to 12.6 per cent. This is reported as due to: General improvement in surgical care. Earlier and wider use of antibiotics. 12 SPECULUM Reoearch . . . ". . . . to merit and preserve the confidence of the best element in the medical and pharmaceutical professions . . . . to build well, to last." It was in these words that, over 90 years ago, the founders of the House of Parke-Davis expressed their policy for the future. To meet these self-imposed and exacting demands, research has been a constant feature of the Company's activities. Over the years many contributions to Medicine have resulted: vegetable drugs such as Cascara Sagrada; glandular products, including Adrenalin, Pituitrin, Pitocin, Pitressin, Antuitrin "S" and Eschatin; vitamin preparations; and many synthetic chemicals such as Dilantin. Recent achievements include the antihistamines, Benadryl and Ambodryl, and the first synthetic antibiotic, Chloromycetin. Today, backed by a research programme more extensive than ever before, Parke-Davis offer the medical profession products worthy of their symbol, "Medicamenta Vera" — truth in medicine. PARKE, DAVIS & CO., LTD. (Inc. U.S.A.) BOX 4198, SYDNEY SPECULUM Earlier and more generous use of blood. Quick pick-up and evacuation. Operating time in Korea averaged 2.4 hours for abdominal wounds and 2.3 hours for thoraco-abdominal wounds. In the first 24 hours these cases received on an average over 3 litres of blood. Thus it is obvious that with mass casualties these cases will consume far more man hours in treatment than their incidence (6-9 per cent. of all wounds) warrants. The patient who is in good condition without resuscitation will take priority. Those vomiting from radiation sickness will be of a much lower priority. IV. Orthopaedic Injuries The increased hazard of infection following delayed debridement has been discussed. The case fatality rate might not be greatly increased by delay but the rate for traumatic amputations doubtlessly would increase sharply. V. Vascular Injuries The amputation rate following ligation of peripheral arteries in World War II was 48 per cent. Primary repair within 12 hours of injury in Korea reduced the amputation rate to 7 per cent. and the incidence of gas gangrene to 1 per cent. It was also found in Korea that repair could often be achieved as late as 24 hours after wounding. In mass casualties saving of life must take precedence over saving limbs and ligation will probably be the only early treatment. VI. Facio-Maxillary Injuries Standard practice includes not only debridement but primary repair of these wounds. Since only the more seriously injured are admitted few patients could be managed under local anaesthesia; many would require endotracheal anaesthesia and many would also require tracheotomy. Primary repair after 24 hours would hardly prove feasible. One surgical team could not handle more than 10 cases per day. VII. Burns Since these patients can seldom have debridement done early, since antibiotics do not prevent infection in undebrided wounds, since all of these wounds will be contaminated at the time of admission, early treat- 13 ment will not materially affect the incidence of infection. Is early treatment necessary? Ziffren, speaking of the treatment of burns in civilian practice, says: "In no instance in this group of cases did a patient survive who had 45 per cent. or more of the body surface burned to a third degree depth. Immediate debridement under anaesthesia had no effect on the mortality rate, and neither did the early administration of antibiotics." In view of this common experience, the lowering of the mortality during the acute stage must have resulted from the support of the blood volume. Since the loss of blood and plasma is progressive and cannot be controlled, what will be the cost of delayed therapy? Burns of 40 per cent. or more will nearly all die despite prompt therapy. Burns of 20-40 per cent. will frequently produce a severe depletion of blood volume, shock and death unless given early treatment which will save many of them—without early treatment many of them will die. Shock is responsible for 80 per cent. of the deaths from burns and as 35 per cent. of the patients will be in the 20-40 per cent. of surface area burned delayed treatment will increase the over-all mortality by at least 15-20 per cent. The staff and supplies needed to treat these cases is enormous. Add to this the phenomenon of "Cross Stress"—the synergism resulting when a casualty suffers from both burns and radiation. This apparently commences when the dose of radiation exceeds 100 r. Taplin estimated that the mortality rate for 10 per cent. second or third degree burns increases from 5-10 per cent. to 15-20 per cent. if combined with a radiation dose of 100-250 r. As the treatment for both burns and radiation sickness is blood transfusion it must be remembered that repeated transfusions from different donors may create more hazard from the risk of serum hepatitis than that from the original radiation exposure. In the Hiroshima incident when no real medical care was available for some days, most cases that survived long enough to be treated were relatively superficial flesh burns of directly exposed surfaces plus burns SPECULUM 14 from charring and ignition of clothing. The more serious burns died before rescue. SUMMARY The early increase in mortality with delay in treatment will be due primarily to delays in correction of blood volume deficits and mechanical defects; increased morbidity will be due primarily to increased infection, increased destruction of tissue, and delays in secondary wound closure. In order to give precedence to life over limb and to provide the greatest care for the greatest number, priority of supplies and medical treatment must be given to: The control of external haemorrhage. Correction of blood volume deficits. Treatment of burns of 15-40 per cent. Amputation of mangled extremities. "Non-operative" treatment of penetrating chest wounds and, when possible, repair of penetrating abdominal wounds. A mathematician named Sputz Had a formula for smoking old butz, The cube root of their weight Plus tobacco less eight, Was a third of a twelfth of . . . oh Nutz. —Speculum, New York. "Medmak" Speculum is very happy to welcome the Makere Medical Students' Society and their magazine "Medmak" to the ever-increasing group of student exchange journals. Makere Medical School is at Kampala, Uganda, and at the time of publication of their first issue of "Medmak" had eightythree medical students. It is indeed inspiring to see such an enthusiastic group of students produce a magazine worthy of much merit. Articles included are by both staff and students on historical, technical, and non-technical subjects. Owing to the burden of financial difficulties, which accompany every student society's aspirations, "Medmak" does not, as yet, contain photographs or illustrations, but its editorial staff trust that these inclusions might be attained in their next issue. We look forward to receiving future exchange copies from our new brother. * * * The turtle lives twat plated decks Which practically conceal its sex. I think it's clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile. MEDICAL AGENTS FEDERAL SECRETARIAT PTY. LTD. (B. A. CUSACK) M.L.C. BUILDINGS, 303 COLLINS ST.. MELBOURNE • Practices Transferred • Partnerships Arranged • Assistantships Organised • Locum Tenens Provided PHONES: 61 2107 — AFTER HOURS : FX 3668 62 5498 Managing 2irector — B. A. CUSACK SPECULUM 15 AUSTRALIAN JOURNEY Geoffrey Asherson, M.A., B.M., M.R.C.P., (London) British Memorial Fellow to the Clinical Research Unit of the Walter and Eliza Hall Institute of Medical Research and the Royce Melbourne Hospital, 1958 - 1959 Going to Australia is quite an adventure. I travelled as a ship's surgeon on the Sydney Star, a large cargo ship with extensive refrigeration space. Most of the crew were under 26 years of age and were undertaking eight years in the Merchant Marine as an alternative to National Service. They never reported sick without good reason. It is traditional that sea-faring men drink freely and I saw one man with alcoholic pancreatitis and another with delirium tremens. In my journey from England to Australia we visited South Africa and New Zealand, and I was impressed by the changing medical scene, modified by climate, habits and race. Thus, at Durban I visited the King Edward VII Hospital which is the native teaching hospital. Professor Adams was conducting a statistical trial on the effect of chlorpromazine on the prognosis of tetanus. Despite favourable clinical impressions he was unable to demonstrate a reduction in mortality. In the natives amoebic dysentery may take a very severe form resembling fulminating ulcerative colitis and may even progress to perforation of the colon. Recently liver biopsy at this hospital has shown that acute amoebic hepatitis is not really a distinct entity but is due to the formation of many small abscesses. Heart failure of unknown cause is frequently encountered among the natives and is called "nutritional myocarditis" although it does not respond to dietary measures. Tuberculosis in all its forms is very Common and I saw several patients with tuberculous pericardial and peritoneal effusions. The native Bantu mothers usually breast- feed their children up to the age of two The children then receive a diet years. adequate in carbohydrates but deficient in protein. The disease kwashiorkor is attributed to this imbalance. It is characterized by irritability, diarrhoea, protuberant abdomen, skin lesions with both hyperpigmentation and depigmentation, and hair changes with loss of the typical Bantu curliness and pigmentation. The liver is usually enlarged and there is pancreatic damage which may lead to steatorrhoea. In adults cirrhosis and primary carcinoma of the liver are common Curiously, iron deficiency anaemia is rarely seen among the Bantu. The factors involved have not been defined. Sickle cell anaemia which is common in the malarious areas of Equatorial Africa, does not occur among the Bantu. Coronary thrombosis is rare. It is a curious and unexplained fact that disseminated sclerosis is uncommon among the white people in South Africa, although it is one of the more common neurological diseases in England and Holland and has a familial incidence. Reaching Auckland, New Zealand, I found a copy of Laudor Brunton's Lectures in Pharmacology in which he describes how he discovered, while a resident at an Edinburgh hospital, the value of amyl nitrite in angina pectoris. I visited Rotorua and saw a unique landscape of geysers, volcanoes and bubbling mud. The ornamental fountains in the town were played by natural steam and there was a pool of boiling water in the public park. And thence to Australia where I was to serve my Fellowship. Modern hospitals are SPECULUM 16 Although there are few diseases peculiar to Australia, the pattern of disease differs from that in England mainly for social reasons. Disease due to alcohol is prominent in Australian medicine. Bleeding oesophageal varices are a more common cause of haematemesis than in England. Pancreatitis is decidedly rare in England: in Australia, where about half the cases are due to alcohol, it is possible to see all gradations between classical severe acute pancreatitis and attacks so mild that they can only be diagnosed presumptively by their resemblance to previous attacks when the serum amylase was raised. Alcoholic dementia is uncommon in England and alcoholism is a minor factor in mental hospital admissions. The diagnosis of haemochromatosis is more common in Australia than in England. This is apparently not due entirely to the ease with which the disease can be diagnosed by liver biopsy. Tuberculosis is less common than in England and the classical scar of the patient with tuberculous cervical glands is rarely seen. The distinctive contributions of the Clinical Research Unit with which I was closely associated lie firstly in the extensive use of gastric, hepatic and renal biopsy which is establishing the natural history of the diseases of these organs, and secondly in the interest in auto-immune disease, that is to say, disease in which the immunological defence mechanisms of the body are turned against itself. Perhaps the major problem of modern medicine is the precise role of the pride of Australia. Whereas in England most of the hospitals were built in the last century, some of the provincial hospitals even being housed in modified "workhouses", in Australia most hospital building is recent and reflects the achitectural requirements of modern medicine. Although there is considerable hospital construction in Australia today there has been little hospital building in England over the last 20 years. Despite the general feeling that there is a shortage of hospital beds in Melbourne, in point of fact the number of hospital beds proportional to the demands is higher than in England, and the surgical waiting lists are far shorter. It is paradoxical that, in spite of the greater social stratification in England, English patients are far more willing to enter a public ward than Australians. To a large extent this is financially determined as there is no government-aided medical insurance in England for private patients; but it also reflects the difficulty in obtaining adequate resident nursing and medical staff for private hospitals. 7„ ANGUS & ROBERTSON 7 LTD. 4 have a very large range of MEDICAL AND DENTAL BOOKS 4, RESEARCH in their 7 Medical Book Department AND THE MEDICAL PROFESSION 4, on the First Floor at 4, , 66-68 ELIZABETH STREET, MELBOURNE. 7 7 Phone: MF 6466 4, 4, The original British isolation of vitamin Br, was achieved in 1948 by E. Lester Smith working in the Glaxo Research Laboratories. Since that date it has been available to the medical profession as Cytamen for parenteral use and Cytacon for oral administration CYTAMEN INJECTIONS in five potencies. CYTACON Liquid and Tablets SPECULUM immunological disorders as a cause of disease. Systemic lupus erythematosus, rheumatic fever, rheumatoid arthritis, certain chronic forms of renal and hepatic disease, ulcerative colitis and sarcoid are some of the diseases for which an immunological basis has been suggested and clarification is urgently required. In this field, where clinical observation and laboratory investigation are most valuable, the combination of a clinical unit with an academic research unit facilitates progress. Already, in 1957, D. C. Gajdusek, working at the Walter and Eliza Hall Institute, had demonstrated the occurrence of complement fixing antibodies against human tissues in the serum of patients with systemic lupus erythematosus. As it was known that the haematological manifestations of lupus, such as anaemia and thrombocytopenia, were often due to circulating antibodies, the finding of antibodies against human parenchymal organs strengthened the view that all the manifestations of lupus were autoimmune in nature. It has been shown that these antibodies were active not only against nuclei but also against cytoplasmic cell constituents. As long ago as 1952 it was known that the serum complement was depressed in lupus and this was attributed to the binding of complement by in vivo complement fixing antibody antigen reactions. At that time there was no independent evidence for the existence of such antibodies. It has been possible to confirm this observation and to demonstrate complement fixing antibodies in most patients with systemic lupus erythematosus who have a low serum complement. The last distinctive feature of the Clinical Research Unit is the Friday morning postgraduate teaching "round". The cases are presented in a definite manner and to enable their essential features to be readily grasped the significant positive clinical and laboratory features are written on the blackboard. No case is ever presented in the absence of the patient. Discussion is orientated around some special aspect of the patient and this type of discussion has often produced valuable ideas. Clinical instruction of students at the Royal Melbourne Hospital is very similar to that in England, but perhaps less is made 17 of the heuristic method and of asking students to elicit physical signs at the bedside. There is also less emphasis on the importance of knowing about conditions which, although rare, are amenable to treatment. Undergraduate teaching sessions are longer than in England despite the fact that for most students the law of diminishing returns is apparent after the first hour. An important difference in emphasis arises from the fact that in country areas in Australia the general practitioner is expected to be competent in both medicine and surgery. The teaching hospitals recognize this in the good facilities for operative surgery given to their residents and in the institution of rotating internships. The good prospects in general practice lessen the competition for teaching hospital appointments. All medical students at Oxford and Cambridge and some of the students at the other medical schools in England obtain a science degree before proceeding with the clinical part of the medical course. Few students in Australia follow this approach, which is valuable and provides most of the people who will later undertake clinical and laboratory research. These reflections on Australian medicine lead me to consider the value of travelling in medical education. At the beginning of the century doctors travelled to Germany and Austria to gain experience, but since the First World War the centre of activity has moved to English-speaking countries. In the medical specialities doctors visit centres to learn special techniques such as gastroscopy, which can only be acquired under the personal instruction of a senior man, and to see at first hand the techniques and approaches of the various leaders in their field. The relative freedom accorded to the travelling fellow enables him to discover his true clinical and research interests and capacities, and this freedom is most valuable near the beginning of his professional career. For my wife and myself, our visit to Australia has been enjoyable, fruitful and memorable, and I would be ungrateful if I did not record my most sincere appreciation of the British Memorial Foundation who made my visit to Australia possible, and of the members of the Walter and Eliza Hall Institute and the Clinical Research Unit of the Royal Melbourne Hospital who have introduced me to the Australian way of life. SPECULUM 18 Manufacturing Division and Penicillin Laboratories of Sigma Co. Ltd., at Port Melbourne, Development... Symbolic of the development of our young nation are the rapid expansion and world-wide associations of Sigma Company Limited — an Australian enterprise in the pharmaceutical industry. Since 1912, Sigma has manufactured pharmaceuticals of the highest quality, to meet the most exacting demands of Medicine, Pharmacy, and Veterinary Science. A pioneer in the development of penicillin pharmaceuticals in Australia — Sigma is now one of the largest manufacturers of these products in the Commonwealth. Today, Sigma has associations with leading pharmaceutical companies in England, U.S.A., Germany, France, Holland, Italy and Japan — manufacturing and/or distributing their products, to bring the benefits of latest overseas research to Australia. SIGMA COMPANY LIMITED (mew) Makers of fine pharmaceutical products 589 - 605 Collins Street, Melbourne, C.1, Victoria. SPECULUM 19 HISTORY OF PSYCHOLOGICAL MEDICINE P. as Gail Throughout the history of medicine and surgery, especially since the 17th century, the steady advance has, as often as not, been due to discoveries in the physical sciences. This is not true of psychiatry. Psychological medicine, dealing as it does with human emotions, ideas, and, very importantly, human goals, has been related much more closely to the history of magic, religion, and superstition. The result is an intimate connection with the history of society as a whole. The important thing to realise is that the way in which mentally ill people are regarded in any culture, i.e., the definition of psychosis, depends on what the rest of society at that time calls normal, and not on absolute criteria, as in organic disease. Psychological medicine originally had a much broader scope than today. Until the 18th century, when the great organic discoveries were made, large numbers of diseases were thought to have mental or even supernatural causes. Thus even in 1780, William Cullen, the Edinburgh physician, stressed "nervous irritability" or "frayed nerves" as the cause of disease. "I propose to comprehend, under the title of neurosis, all those preternatural affections of sense and motion which are without pyrexia as part of the primary disease." He included whooping cough, diabetes, tetanus, and hydrophobia. A key idea to grasp is the role of faith. In all ages, to be healed, required faith, and this implied the acceptance of authority, whether witch-doctor, magician, priest, or physician. The actual relationship between patient and healer takes many forms in history. The common language may be demons, animal magnetism, Freudian psychoanalysis, or anything else. Among primitives, both in the past and today, and also in the Christian religion, possession by demons loomed large as a cause of both mental and physical disease. Sick people were exorcised, i.e., the demons were driven from the body by various methods. Thus the Assyrians sought to frighten demons away by ghastly images of the demons themselves. The North American witch-doctor dressed in animal skins, shouted, raved, and pretended to suck out the demon with a hollow tube. Amulets, charms, and fetishes were carried as protection against the unseen hordes of devils all seeking ingress to the body. Early Greek medicine had a profound psychological element. Between the Trojan War and the 9th century B.C., the legendary Aesculapius rose as the god of medicine. Circa 400 B.C., temples to him at Cos, Pergamus, and Epidaurus were devoted to dream healing. The patients were supposed to have dreams in which Aesculapius would reveal the cure for their diseases. White linen garments were worn as being conducive to dreams. The patients slept at SPECULUM 20 ZEPHIRAN can do an excellent job in virtually every part of the hospital or surgery. with economical Zephiran (brand of Benzalkonium Chloride) Zephiran's germicidal and detergent qualities make it well suited for . . . • preparation of the skin • sterile storage of surgical instruments • room and laboratory disinfection ▪ wet dressings for burns • bladder irrigation t o Trade Mark BAYER PH ARMA PTY. LTD. 56 YOUNG STREET, SYDNEY Distributors: SALMOND & SPRAGGON (AUST.) PTY. LTD. SYDNEY MELBOURNE ADELAIDE PERTH BRISBANE SPECULUM night grouped round a statue of the god. Aromatic (? narcotic) smoke pervaded the air. A priest wearing a mask of the god "did a round" during the night, aiding the illusion with ventriloquism. Christ apparently understood well the psychic nature of many illnesses. The "man of Gerasenes" who had "devils a long time" and had to dwell in tombs "due to persecution" was cured by kind words from Christ and this appeared miraculous to the observers. With the rise of Christianity, the prevailing view was that faith in Christ, the disciples, and the gospels would heal the sick. "Is any sick among you? Let him call for elders of the Church and let them pray over him . . . the Lord shall raise him up," says the Epistle of St. James. Thus rational therapy implied a lack of faith. Exorcism, laying on of hands, the use of amulets, all had official sanction. Paintings and woodcuts from early Christian times onwards abound with scenes of saints exorcising lunatics. In the sphere of organic disease, too, prayer was important. There was even specificity—the various saints were patrons of parts of the body where they had suffered. Thus St. Erasmus had had his intestines torn out, so he protected against intestinal disease. St. Agatha had her breasts chopped off, so patients with pectoral pain invoked her aid. The Church prescribed a routine of exorcism, and there existed an Order of Exorcists. Faith was the essential feature in these procedures, but despite it, (or perhaps irrespective of it), many stubbornly remained psychotic. Lack of faith, (i.e., failure to be cured), was tolerated well till the late Middle Ages. In the 15th century, the stirrings of Renaissance science began to threaten the impregnability of the Church, and therefore lack of faith in all its forms began to be severely punished. The insane, together with alchemists and heretics of all types, were regarded as witches and sorcerers, that is, possessed by devils, and the terrible era of ridicule, the rod, the whip, and finally the stake, began in earnest. The German monk Spenger wrote in 1485 his book, "Malleus Maleficarum"— the "Hammer of the Witches"—in which he 21 proclaimed that the devil had created madness, therefore the mad were bedevilled, therefore they should be burnt. Torture of the insane spread over Europe, and psychological medicine was at its lowest ebb. However, Johan Weyer (1515-1588), a Belgian physician, declared that witch hunters were madder than many witches by far. In his "De Praestigiis Demonum", witches were "deranged or perplexed old women who believed in their own fantasies". He believed that they should be in the hands of doctors, not in dungeons. Faith could fasten onto other things. The laying on of the king's hands was an accepted belief. Thus Charles II of England performed this miracle each year. "I touch you and God heals you." He would then give the patient a coin. Gold-seekers were weeded out beforehand from the truly sick. Mental suggestion plus natural recovery often produced cures, while those who remained sick were told that they lacked faith. The king couldn't lose. Valentine Greatrakes, an Irish country squire, achieved fame for his cures by "stroaking of the hands". He succeeded in psychosomatic cases, anticipating Mesmer by a century. Throughout this period, there were a few "hospitals" for the insane who dodged the stake, but these simply "kept" the patients, and often exposed them to the ridicule of tourists. Until the 19th century, a trip through Europe's first lunatic asylum, Bedlam Hospital in London, was considered hilarious. The medical fraternity, even in the 18th century, regarded the insane as incurable and insensitive to pain. Philippe Pinel, a Paris physician, was prompted to take up psychiatry in 1780, after a friend went insane, ran into the woods, and was eaten by wolves. When chief physician at the Bicetre Hospital in 1793, he unshackled the insane patients and put them to useful work. He taught that insanity must have organic causes, and paved the way for the rise of French clinical neurology. The authoritarian relationship between healer and patient was still found in the 18th century, but with demons in the decline, due partly to great clinicians like Willis and Sydenham in the 17th century. "Moral Management" was a therapy of 1. 22 SPECULUM harsh discipline of behaviour for the patient, combined with fear of the doctor, reinforced by individual attention. The English Parliament passed a bill authorizing the court physicians to scourge the lunatic King George III. When this failed, Francis Willis treated his insanity by Moral Management with success. An interesting mass phenomenon of the 18th. century was mesmerism. So far we have considered the psychotic, whereas then, as now, psychoneurotics formed the majority of mentally ill patients. (Thus in 1733, Cheyne wrote of "The English Disease", a disorder stemming from luxury, "with atrocious and frightful symptoms" . . . obviously psychoneurotic in origin. And in 1764, Whytt, under "diseases commonly called nervous" referred to "flatulent, spasmodic, hypochondriac, or hysteric cases.") Franz Anton Mesmer arrived in Paris in 1778. He taught that "animal magnetism" pervades all things, and that its proper flow was essential to health. He claimed to set right the unbalanced flow in sick people, and he achieved some remarkable cures. Lavoisier and the French Academy debunked him, and he passed into obscurity, but mesmerism's influence persisted. It is interesting to note that, whereas failure to be cured (i.e., lack of faith) had been in the past followed by punishment of the patient, in the case of Mesmer and his followers, it fell on the doctor. Today, in Western society, the mentally ill patient and the psychiatrist are considered equally queer, and feature as an odd duet in many jokes. There is still, today, a large element of faith in psychotherapy. One of Sigmund Freud's greatest contributions was the "transference", or the relationship between doctor and patient. His successors, the psychoanalysts, have studied this in detail, and it cannot be denied that there are religious elements in the psychoanalytic relationship. By suggestion, the patient is converted to the same way of thinking, and faith plays a large part in the cure, even though the language used is in terms of repression of infantile sexual urges, etc. So we have had dreams, demons, moral suasion, animal magnetism, and psychoanalysis in turn serving as the means of communication between the figure of authority and the patient. One notable feature of the history of psy- FOR STUDENT AND RESEARCH WORKER Reichert Microscopes and Accessories— a full range Singer Micromanipulator Micromanipulators Microdissectors Dissecting sets Haemacvtometers Haemaglobinometers Prepared slides etc. H. B. SELBY & CO. PTY. LTD. FJ3661. 393 SWANSTON STREET, MELBOURNE, C.1. SYDNEY, BRISBANE, PERTH, ADELAIDE, HOBART. SPECULUM chiatry has been the succession of widely differing theories on the causation of mental illness. Therapy has been often even less than empirical; it has been bizarre guesswork. As mentioned before, possession by demons has been probably the most prevalent view. (See Aldous Huxley's "The Devils of Loudun", for an account of mass "possession" of nuns in a 17th century French convent.) In all ages, there have been attempts to discover what type of man, mentally and physically, develops what type of mental illness. Empedocles, in 600 B.C., propounded the doctrine of four "humours", viz., fire, earth, water, and air, as the basic "stuff" of the Universe. Hippocrates adapted these to a theory of humoral balance in health, i.e., blood (fire), phlegm (earth), black bile (water), and yellow bile (air) were in equilibrium. Personality types such as the Sanguine were liable to attacks of excitement, the Choleric to apoplexy, and so on. These concepts were revived at the medical centre of Salerno in the 1 1 th century, and even today, words such as melancholia, phlegmatic, etc., are still in use. Paracelsus (1493-1541)—real name, Aureolus Philippus Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim—was an astute psychiatrist and a forerunner of Freud. He felt that man was composed of antagonistic animal and godly spirits; the former must be suppressed for fulfilment. (cf. Id and Superego of psychoanalysis.) He described the manic-depressive state, and maintained that psychoses were "natural" not demonological in origin. He knew that disease could result from mental problems. "You should treat the spirit, for it is the spirit that lies sick". According to Paracelsus, "brute intelligence" is brought on by madness, while "human intelligence" is "not subject to sickness". Here we have a clear discernment of primitive drives controlling the psychotic, while reasoning power remains intact, e.g., the keen logic of the paranoiac, based on false premises. Georg Ernst Stahl of Halle University propounded (circa 1700) the doctrine of "animism". Living processes were determined by "man's sensitive soul" (cf. subconscious personality). However, he missed anticipating Freud by two centuries, in that he thought that the "soul" knows more 23 about the body and how to rectify its malfunction than the physician. The doctor can only watch passively the soul's efforts to realign the body's imbalance. Hypnotism was an outcome of mesmerism, the word "hypnotism" being coined by James Braid, a Scottish surgeon, in 1843, in his study of mesmerism, "Neurypnology, or the Rationale of Nervous Sleep". The full implications of hypnotic suggestion were not understood, however, until the French clinical neurologists such as Charcot had carried their organic theories of mental illness to absurd lengths. This was in the 1860's, when theories of mechanism dominated all branches of science. Jean-Martin Charcot (1825-1893) made the Salpetriere hospital in Paris the leading neuroclinical research unit of Europe. His teachings on the neurological causes of hysteria were controversial in an age when the uterus was removed for this affliction. He applied hypnotism for "grande hysterie", but his cures were seldom permanent. Bernheim, of Nancy, confuted Charcot by saying that the varied symptoms had no existence till induced by the physician. A survival of Charcot's organic views of hysteria was the teaching (up to the 20th century) that hysterical anaesthesia existed, without the patient knowing, until the physician "discovered" it. It was not well known until the World War that this could be produced at will by the examining physician, although Babinski had demonstrated it in 1906. In the same period, the English were busy with their own artefacts. Railway accidents had produced a new disorder called "railway spine", which the clinicians of the time believed was due to spinal injury. Thus, one sufferer could only walk sideways! Occasionally, one can recognise the real symptoms behind the artefacts. For example, a young woman would walk along a street till she came to an open space, and then she fell down. We recognize an agoraphobia, but why did she have her clitoris excised? Someone must have whispered the word "hysteria". Charcot's influence was strongly felt by Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) who used hypnotism to bring to the surface memories repressed as a result of psychic trauma. Psychoanalysis, with its two components of free association and dream analysis, he later 24 SPECULUM developed as being more effective. Freud's realization of the labyrinth of mental processes occurring outside the sphere of consciousness was one of the landmarks of science. Dubois and Degerine had independently worked out a therapy of exhortation and explanation. These developments in clinical psychology explain why, with the spate of psychogenic "shellshocked" patients in World War 1, the psychological equipment was available to deal with them, and there never was any serious reversion to queer organic theories, as had been the case with "grande hysterie" and "railway spine". Are we any closer to knowledge of the aetiology of mental disease than was Hippocrates, with his humours? So far, interest has been mainly in constitutional factors, but very little advance has been made. A certain advance, amid a welter of nonsense, was made by Franz Joseph Gall, the Viennese neurologist, in 1810. He attempted to link certain cranial configurations ("bumps") with certain mental characteristics. His system of "phrenology" put selfish propensities such as oral drives, and libido, in the temporal region. In view of modern interest in temporal lobe psysiology, Gall's work was the first serious attempt at cortical localization of mental function. More recently (1921), Ernst Kretschmer, in his "Physique and Character", noted that often, schizophrenics were lank and thin, while manic-depressives were short and stocky. The terms he used, asthenic and pyknic, are still widely used. Sheldon, the American anthropologist, has divided people into endomorphs, ectomorphs, and mesomorphs, and has tried to correlate these types with numerous mental and physical disorders. Twentieth-century psychiatry and psychological medicine is so vast that it would be hopeless to try to outline it, in such a short space. A revolution commenced with Freud's discovery of the unconscious, branched off into Adler's theory of the power urge, and into Carl Jung's mystical notions of racial memories. This revolution is still going on, and the outcome is impossible to predict. All that one can say is that psychological medicine will probably become more and more scientific, less and less wedded to its old partners—superstition, magic and religion. 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The above exhortation of King James I, published some three and a half centuries ago, had no more effect on stopping smoking than did the drastic physical punishments adopted at various times by national and religious authorities. King James' contribution comes very early in the medical bibliography of tobacco smoking, and it was therefore with considerable misgiving that I accepted the editorial invitation to review the literature on the subject and to discuss what advice is best given to patients in practice. However, on further consideration it seemed that discussion might well be confined to the latter aspect, for the immediate clinical value of the literature on smoking is very nearly inversely proportional to its volume. I shall attempt, with perhaps unbecoming brevity, to justify this contention under several headings and I shall then outline my own approach in practice. This personal attitude is adopted (a) because a candid statement of one person's views is easier to present in a way which illustrates the principles involved, (b) because it is easy for the reader to criticise and analyse, and (c) because you may take it, leave it, or modify it according to your own concepts and personality without regard to the length of the supporting bibliography of authoritative sources. Experimental Aspects Once upon a time I was deeply impressed by experiments made on the isolated nicti- tating membrane of the cat—actually I doubt if it was isolated, but so many experimental organs and tissues are proudly described as such that the temptation to include I am now much the word is irresistible. more impressed by the work of those with the ingenuity, patience and skill to perform reliable experiments on the intact human animal, a very much more difficult task from several points of view. Experiments on the effect of smoking in man are comparatively few and mostly inconclusive but there is evidence that by one mechanism or another smoking decreases peripheral blood flow, inhibits gastric motility and perhaps increases the secretion of acid in the stomach, among other less important effects. As far as I know there is no direct evidence as to its effect on coronary blood flow. An important point to be borne in mind is that what happens in a normal subject is not necessarily reproduced in subjects already diseased. Smoking a cigarette has, for example, been shown to produce an increase in airways resistance in emphysematous patients but not in normal subjects. Its effect on appetite is well known; this is but one of the interesting observations which may be made on the effects of smoking by the personal experiment of giving it up (even with generous allowance for the fallacies of such an elementary experimental design). However, we do not know whether the hunger of the reformed tobacco addict has a pharmacological or psychological basis or whether both mechanisms are involved. Uncertainty of this type exists in relation to several facets of the smoking problem. Epidemiological Aspects Many epidemiological studies have been conducted which purport to show that smoking. is a factor in the development of such disorders as carcinoma of the lung, 26 SPECULUM (The Wisest Choice . . . is Nitrous Oxide Analgesia combined with relaxation therapy. Nitrous Oxide-Oxygen or Nitrous Oxide-Air offers the ideal analgesic and, where necessary, the ideal anaesthetic. Its application with modern relaxation therapy has overcome most of the difficulties and dangers associated with obstetric anaesthesia. Pleasant to inhale, simple to administer, Nitrous Oxide is safe for selfadministration. Pain is eliminated without loss of consciousness or the patient's co-operation, thus preserving natural childbirth conditions. Recovery is particularly rapid, elimination is speedy, vomiting is minimised and cough reflexes are maintained—marked advantages in prolonged deliveries. Fully descriptive literature is available from your nearest C.I.G. Company. GM.2.FP THE COMMONWEALTH INDUSTRIAL GASES LIMITED 138 BOURKE ROAD, ALEXANDRIA, NEW SOUTH WALES OXYGEN • NITROUS OXIDE • CARBOGEN • CYCLOPROPANE • CARBON DIOXIDE SPECULUM chronic bronchitis, peptic ulceration and coronary disease; other studies of similar type fail to show a relationship. To illustrate one difficulty—we found in a survey in Melbourne a much higher incidence of cough and sputum amongst the smokers of a defined population than amongst the nonsmokers, but even this simple observation cannot be confirmed in London,* probably because of differences in climatic and other environmental factors. There is reliable evidence to suggest that relapse of pulmonary tuberculosis occurs more frequently in smokers than in non-smokers, and that smokers with chronic bronchitis die younger than those who do not smoke. In the main these studies show correlations which do not necessarily imply a direct cause and effect relationship: for example, the urge to smoke and a proneness to develop lung cancer may be genetically linked. The arguments over the fallacies attendant upon surveys of this type and on the correct interpretation to be placed on the figures obtained are legion, but it is safe enough to conclude that a reasonable case has been made out against tobacco in all these conditions, especially in carcinoma of the lung. The application of these findings to the individual patient remains far from clear; satisfactory anterospective studies of prognosis in smokers and non-smokers, which are essentially what is required by the clinician, are difficult to plan and carry out, and are, as far as I am aware, universally lacking. The Doctor's Attitude Personal factors, involving both the doctor and the patient, influence the advice given to patients in regard to smoking. Indeed, the influence of more academic studies pales into insignificance beside the influence of personal prejudice against smoking on the part of the doctor. This state of mind may be congenital or acquired, the latter variety occurring almost exclusively in reformed smokers and being by far the more virulent form. It may lead to what had been termed the "terrorist approach", which in my opinion (with, as a smoker, its bias in the opposite direction) is rarely justified. In the interests of the doctor-patient relationship justice should be tempered with mercy; we should accept the •Recent British studies have now both confirmed and extended this observation. 27 psychiatrists' advice to know something of ourselves before advising others and at least we should be aware of our own grosser prejudices. There are no doubt doctors, as there are patients, who smoke heavily and who cheerfully tell their patients, "Look at me; it's never affected me." This is bias; in any case, it would probably be more appropriate to listen in the mornings rather than to look during consulting hours. A very sound thoracic physician sought to hang notices in his clinic in England, reading "Smoking Harms Your Heart and Lungs: Stop Now Before It Is Too Late." A most humane and kindly man in all other respects, deeply conscious of the social and personal problems of the patients whose physical disorders he managed so well, he would not accept the view that the chief effect of these notices would be to produce chronic anxiety and fear. Who, of these patients with established thoracic disease, did not feel that it was perhaps already too late? And were their hearts to be the next to go? The medical staff, consisting of smokers and anti-smokers of less radical views, unanimously opposed the use of the notices. This story is told so that you may take sides yourself; you may care to analyse your motives in doing so or your own likely reaction to such notices. The Patient's Attitude Perhaps one day in the distant future I may be able to state exactly why I give somewhat different advice to different patients with the same condition. I aim to modify it according to the patient's personality and other circumstances—whether I wish to encourage him, frighten him, entice him, or cajole him into giving it up and whether I feel he is likely to take the advice anyway. The patient must know whether he will be improved symptomatically, or whether there will be no change in symptoms but merely a decreased risk of complications or a lessened rate of progression. An intelligent person may wish to hear and may accept more or less scientific arguments which would be wasted on a person of lesser ability. Nervous or emotional patients require reassurance that they are not being advised to stop smoking because cancer is suspected, or because they will inevitably get cancer or some other horrible complaint if they do not. Patients often fail to stop SPECULUM 28 smoking and to have painted too gloomy a picture too effectively beforehand sometimes proves a handicap to subsequent management. Patients who smoke less than ten cigarettes a day should almost certainly be left in peace, except perhaps for those with peripheral vascular disease. However, light smokers can usually stop with comparatively little difficulty. Because of the unfavourable publicity given to smoking in recent years, most smokers have some feelings of guilt, shame or fear. For one or other reason a patient may refrain from raising the question of tobacco, however much it may be in his mind. A word or two on smoking is therefore often worthwhile, whatever the patient's complaint, and it is mandatory if this situation is suspected. I have no idea how successful my tactics are. For better or worse, however, I believe it is fundamentally unsound to reel off a "set piece" to all patients. A casual "Don't smoke" or "You'd be better off if you stopped smoking" is useless and amounts to NIALL & COGHLAN , Medical Agents Practices Transferred Partnerships Arranged Locum Tenens Provided what is termed mental cruelty in another context. If it is important, such a statement requires amplifying, explaining or rationalizing; it deserves at least as much time as is spent in telling them how and when to take the mixture (which is nearly all water anyway). If it is not important the observation is better not made. Allen, Barker and Hines (Peripheral Vascular Disease, 1955) state that "we occasionally* say to patients, 'You may have your tobacco or your extremities, but not both. If you must have your tobacco, you cannot have your extremities; if you wish to have your extremities, you must cease the use of tobacco'." If any clinical situation justifies a statement like this, peripheral vascular disease does. Even so, having been provoked to this approach myself on several occasions, I doubt whether I have done more than satisfy my own conscience; I doubt if patients can regard such an unreasoned statement, or frank threat, as a satisfactory basis for giving up a pleasurable and seemingly unrelated habit of long-standing at a time of stress. Some will react in precisely the reverse way, and understandably so. Finally, the last clause verges on dishonesty unless amplified; most patients would construe this to mean that if they stopped smoking they would not lose their limbs. This will not be true in all cases and the disillusioned patients will lose faith in their medical advisers and their treatment. Notes on Specific Conditions In all the conditions to be mentioned many physicians would advise that smoking * The bold face is mine; taken out of its context this quotation probably appears blunter than the authors intended. 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Clinical, Peripheral Vascular Disease. and, to a less extent, experimental evidence strongly indicates the desirability of giving up smoking, or, indeed, the necessity for it. smoking, or, indeed, the necessity for it. Smoking, the patient may be told, further narrows the vessels and accelerates progression of the disease. He probably cannot be guaranteed arrest of the condition, nor improvement, although this may occur, nor relief from pain or other symptoms. This advice applies to all varieties of occlusive vascular disease. Chronic Bronchitis, with or without emphysema. Here again there is strong clinical evidence in favour of stopping smoking, and it is supported by experimental and particularly by epidemiological evidence. "Smoker's cough", which is mild chronic bronchitis, ceases. In more severe disease, the patient may be promised moderate to considerable reduction in the amount of cough and sputum. Wheezing is often improved dramatically but is sometimes little affected; it should be remembered that the element of reversible bronchoconstriction found to some extent in every patient with emphysema is the main aspect of this condition which is susceptible to treatment. The patient may also be told that the tendency for bronchitis and/or emphysema to get a little worse year by year—as even "normal" lungs do—is minimised. He is not told that one of the findings in a recent survey was that the only patients with severe bronchitis to show permanent clinical improvement were those who gave up smok- 2I ing*; at least, he is not told in quite the same words. Asthmatic patients whose Asthma. wheeze is aggravated or precipitated by smoking should stop. As with other conditions in which there is a clear relation between a main symptom (cough and the epigastric pain of an ulcer are other common examples) the rationale of this advice is obvious to the patient and he can unequivocally be promised improvement. Other patients with asthma should be told of the tendency of smoking to produce or aggravate bronchitis; the effect of stopping smoking in these cases is sometimes striking, often disappointing and always unpredictable. At least one asthmatic doctor advocates a cigarette on going to bed to help cough up phlegm and thus ensure a peaceful night. This practice is the "thin edge of the wedge" to a former smoker and perhaps to a non-smoker; smelling salts containing ammonia should be equally effective. The "anti-asthma" cigarettes still sold to these patients can do no more than can be achieved with conventional bronchodilator therapy and should be replaced by it. Other Respiratory Conditions. Patients with pulmonary tuberculosis are advised to give up smoking on the grounds that it reduces cough and sputum and hence the risk of spread. They may also be told that the risk of a relapse in years to come is greater if they smoke. Stopping smoking is justified in localized bronchiectasis, recurrent sinusitis, bronchial or pulmonary infection and recurrent or chronic pharyngitis or laryngitis. No rash promises should be made, although improvement can be great. Patients who have cancer of the lung should be allowed unrestricted smoking; so seemingly obvious a point is made only because I have once seen the agonies of dying from lung carcinoma aggravated by the torture of a foolish "nosmoking" regimen. After resection of a lung or lobe for non-carcinomatous lesions I suggest to patients that they should not smoke "so your remaining lung, which will * To this group may now be added the small group of severe chronic bronchitics with grossly purulent sputum in whom the long-term use of antibiotics is considered justifiable (after careful assessment). 30 SPECULUM THE AUSTRALIAN PHARMACEUTICAL FORMULARY, 1955 A.P.F. 1955 ENLARGED AND COMPLETELY REVISED EDITION INCORPORATING THE FOLLOWING SPECIAL FEATURES: General Notices (which includes a concise guide to prescribing practice and prescribing conventions.) Monograph Section General Therapeutic Formulae Infants Section Poisons and Antidotes Section Table of B.P. Doses Therapeutic Index AN INDISPENSABLE STANDARD REFERENCE BOOK FOR STUDENTS AND PRACTITIONERS per 15 /- copy AVAILABLE FROM LEADING MEDICAL BOOKSELLERS AND WHOLESALE DRUG HOUSES PHARMACEUTICAL SOCIETY OF VICTORIA College of Pharmacy 360 Swanston Street, Melbourne, C.1 Phones: FJ 5161, 5162 31 SPECULUM have to do a lot more work over the years, will stay as healthy as possible." Impending Anaesthesia. Smoking should be stopped for at least three days before an elective operation is performed under general anaesthesia. A recent study at the Royal Melbourne Hospital has stressed the importance of this and suggested that postoperative pulmonary complications would be fewer if the volume of sputum produced preoperatively could be reduced. This can be achieved by stopping smoking. The fact that many smokers have anaesthetics without trouble is no reason for complacency. Although "tobacco Cardiac Disease. angina" is described, it seems to be rare for a patient with angina, even if the pain is precipitated by trivial exertion, to give a clear history of aggravation or precipitation of pain by smoking. Such a patient should stop. Otherwise there seems little to be gained by adding the stress of giving up smoking to the patient's other troubles. One might prefer that patients who had had myocardial infarcts, congestive cardiac failure, pulmonary congestion, and so on, did not smoke, but in all honesty one cannot promise these patients much in return for their sacrifice.* Smoking is likely to be of small prognostic significance in the presence of these serious conditions, usually with structural and established causes. Patients with mitral stenosis tend to develop bronchitis over the years and should not smoke for this reason. The effect of stopping smoking in paroxysmal arrhythmias in my limited experience is disappointing but it should be tried. Most patients with "palpitations" require reassurance and treatment for their anxiety; I do not know whether stopping smoking stops extrasystoles (it didn't stop mine) or whether or not it matters if it does, but I doubt if it stops "palpitations". Peptic Ulceration. This is easy because so often smoking produces the pain. If the patient persists in smoking in spite of its obvious influence and his doctor's advice and explanation, then he should smoke only when his stomach is full. * Note the emotional factor in the use of words—a non-smoking physician would not use this term and would therefore reject the reasoning. Casual Enquiries. Patients often ask whether they should give up smoking, without necessarily implying any relationship of smoking to their current complaint. The answer of course, is yes. Reasons are not difficult to find. Young men who insist on smoking should smoke a pipe, and why not the women? Patients with diabetes or with a strong family history of broncho-pulmonary disease are wise to stop smoking while young. General Advice Patients should be advised to "cut it out" rather than "cut it down". The latter is no less difficult and stressful than the former and is more frequently associated with relapse. Cutting it down may be resorted to if cutting it out fails, and some patients do seem able to stabilise their cigarette consumption at a lower level. Steps must often be taken at the outset to prevent weight gain; chewing gum is socially less acceptable but also less fattening than sweets or biscuits. Patients, poor, long-suffering, blind and faithful creatures that they are, will ask you how to give up smoking. You must, of course, have an answer ready. With my extensive personal experience of stopping and starting smoking it would be sheer presumption to offer any suggestions. Sedation, hypnosis, silver nitrate mouth washes, tranquillizers, temporary change of environment are all subsidiary to making the big decision, but beyond that—well I should be interested to know what you advise, doctor. Perhaps we should do better with a clearer understanding of the aetiology of the disease. Conclusion It might be thought that I have presented something of an apology for smoking. This is not intended. I agree wholeheartedly with King James, but in the presence of established smoking habits and established disease the problem is largely beyond solution. Let us take a lead from the preventive approach which has achieved so much in the last century in the field of public and industrial hygiene; let us stop people starting on their black, stinking, fuliginous descent into the Stygian pit. Hear about the bloke with the King size with the filter tip? 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PHONE, JA.4116 All principal cities — Australia and New Zealand "OVER 70 YEARS OF SERVICE" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- SPECULUM 33 ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS STAPHYLOCOCCUS AUREUS (-Aloft/ 5o Pam a Written examination Without ...Actua4 -Answering 3he Question) By Professor of Bacteriology Sydney D. Rubbo It is no fault of your Editor that he is using this space in Speculum with a no-timeto-think sort of essay. The fault is entirely mine. Months ago I promised him something unusual. And now, at this late hour, when the space cannot be sold to the makers of Sillipennin, the only antibiotic which is definitely claimed to have no antibacterial activity, we decided I must fill it—with something unusual, of course. Accordingly, I am going to write simultaneously on two distinct problems (see above) and, hope, get away with it. Anyway, the space will be filled. The topics I am tackling are difficult ones, particularly the subsidiary subject. You have all faced that unfriendly examination paper which says, "Answer all questions or else." In such an unpleasant circumstance it would seem there is little scope for manoeuvre. However, as part of my spacemanship (the art of filling and fooling in space) I will demonstrate a few simple principles. The first important thing, when cornered as I am, and you might be, is to create an impression of scientific precision. This is done by a deliberate "semanticization" of all technical terms appearing in the question, however unnecessary that may be. Having finished with the definition at the cost of 80 per cent. of your available hardware you then spread the remaining 20 per cent of your knowledge over an average of 6-8 pages. To do this all the tricks of creative writing must be used. It is at this stage that the second principle is applied, namely the demonstration of scientific imagination. In short, your answer must be research orientated. This will please the Professor for it spares him the discomfort of discovering how misleading his lectures have been in matters of fact. Apart from these two cardinal principles, the student would be well advised to use labelled sub-headings which can be read in place of the text, to avoid split infinitives and other obvious grammatical errors, and above all, to quote freely from the unpublished work of your professors and lecturers (be sure to quote the Professor more frequently than any others). Such advice would be sterile (in the literary sense) unless supported by example. Let me illustrate the method. The question is "Answer All Questions—Staphylococcus aureus." At a first glance the telegrammatic brevity of the question is disturbing but the phrasing has obviously been intentional. The question must be read a dozen times in order to decipher its meaning, if any. Whatever may be expected one thing is certain— we must start with a definition of the GrecoLatin binomial (principle No. 1) and then proceed with the usual verbal gymnastics to answer the question proper (principle No. 2). Here now is the start of our model answer. According to Gray, lecture 12 Division II, 1959, Staphylococcus aureus is a SPECULUM 34 microbe. This may appear to be a very elementary statement but, in the historical sense, it is not. This organism was first described in 1881 by Sir Alexander Ogston, Professor of Surgery in the University of Aberdeen (this superfluous detail never fails to impress). Ogston found the organism repeatedly in smears from abscesses but never in tissues free from suppuration. To quote from his writings, "My delight may be conceived when there were revealed to me beautiful tangles, tufts and chains of round organisms in great numbers. The pus on the microscope slide, which appeared to indicate the solution of a great puzzle" (the aetiology of wound infection) "filled me with hope." In spite of this significant discovery (Ogston was also the first to use the term staphylococci=grouped-micrococci for these pyogenic organisms) the British Medical Journal refused to publish some of his papers on infected wounds. Later, with the development of cultural techniques, it became possible to classify the staphylococci on the colour of their colonies (Rosenbach, 1884). The very frequent association of the aureus (golden) strains with suppuration eventually led to the firm conviction that Staphylococcus aureus was a common cause of abscess formation and the only pathogenic species in this genus. Today, a strain of staphylococcus is not regarded as a potential pathogen unless it produces an enzyme, coagulase, capable of coagulating human or rabbit plasma. The terms Staph. aureus and Staph. pyogenes may, for practical purposes, be regarded as synonymous for coagulase-positive staphylococci. Passing now to the logarithmic phase of our answer, we are faced with the problem of sparking the examiner's interest in our researchiness without raising suspicions of our shallowness. This is how it is done (the technique, I might add, applies equally well to the preparation of Presidential addresses). Much has been written in recent years on the subject of staphylococcal infections and a full review is beyond the scope of the present paper (this means I have a vague feeling the Prof. gave us a bibliography but I haven't bothered to use it). Undoubtedly, due to the brilliant investigations of the Melbourne School (the qualifying adjective need not be underlined), answers to most ques- ATTRACTIVE POLICIES ■■ III Think cf the satisfaction, the feeling of permanent security that comes from your choice of the RIGHT company when contemplating insurance. 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It would, therefore, be more profitable not "to answer all questions" but "to question all answers", particularly as many of these come from overseas and do not always coincide with the views of the Melbourne School (Rubbo, radio broadcast and lecture 39 or 40). For instance, it has been said (by common consent no references are ever given in support of this type of phrase) that the present strains of staphylococci recovered from patients infected in hospital are more virulent than those isolated in the pre-antibiotic era. It has also been suggested (again, don't bother about references) that the staphylococcal disease pattern has changed in recent years; that the prevalence of multi-antibiotic resistant staphylococci is due to the indiscriminate use of these drugs and a breakdown in asepsis; that the dust from hospital blankets is the main vehicle of air-borne spread in wards. These and many other points might be considered seriatim (the poised use of a latin word often suggests a classical education and is markworthy. The reverse also applies to classical scholars using scientific terms). Virulence of Staphylococcus aureus—past and present In the first place we must recognise that none of the available in vitro tests gives a true indication of the virulence of a particular strain of this organism and the coagulase reaction only indicates a predictable potentiality. A case of staphylococcal septicaemia is not, as might be expected, due to a strain of high virulence but is more probably the result of the accidental entry of infected emboli into the circulation at the primary focus. Further, there is no laboratory approach to distinguish between epidemic and non-epidemic strains although the phage type 80 has been commonly associated with epidemic neonatal infections in different parts of Australia. The important fact to remember is that Staphylococcus aureus is a frequent and innocuous habitant in the nose, skin and faeces of healthy individuals. Thus, the biological accident of clinical disease is more likely to result from a change in the host rather than a change in the organism. Viewed in this light, the explanation for the apparent severity and frequency of staphy- 35 lococcal infections today must be sought in factors affecting the resistance of the host. These are numerous and varied. Some intrinsic factors are (a) the type of patient, e.g., the premature baby, the adult with a cirrhotic liver, the stabilized diabetic, etc., (b) the advanced type of disease which is now treated surgically (e.g., cardiac, thoracic and plastic operations). Of the extrinsic factors which must be taken into account we might list (a) the in-dwelling needles used in intravenous therapy, (b) the repeated injections, (c) the alteration of normal flora by broad spectrum antibiotic therapy, (d) the excessive use of sutures for cosmetic reasons, (e) the use of anti-inflammatory agents such as cortisone, and (f) the intercurrent infection or irritation of mucosal surfaces (e.g., viral influenza and catheters, to mention two extremes). The combination of these extrinsic and intrinsic factors inevitably leads to a lowering of host resistance. It would be foolish, however, to suggest that a major surgical operation should be withheld in an elderly alcoholic patient or newborn infant with a patent ductus arteriosus merely because of the risk of post-operative infection. All we would expect is that special precautions are taken with such patients. We conclude this section by stating that there is no evidence to suggest that the staphylococci causing disease at present are any more virulent than those of the past (McDermott, 1956). The staphylococcal disease pattern One notable change in staphylococcal disease has been the virtual disappearance of haematogenous osteomyelitis but this is probably due to antibiotic therapy. On the other hand, three diseases which appear to be more common today than previously are staphylococcal enterocolitis, pneumonia and wound sepsis. Staphylococcal enteritis is usually a benign condition associated with symptoms of nausea, vomiting and diarrhoea whereas pseudomembranous enterocolitis is usually fatal with signs of shock and peripheral circulatory failure. Susceptibility to enteric infection is enhanced by the oral administration of broad spectrum antibiotics. These latter facilitate the colonization of antibioticresistant strains by the elimination of the normal flora. The "biological vacuum" so produced seems to provide an easier oppor- SPECULUM 36 In your future profession .. . . . . the many helpful services of The National Bank can be of great assistance. Among these, professional men and women find the safety and convenience of a cheque account indispensable. A National Bank cheque account builds confidence and respect, as well as enhancing personal reputation. It indicates at once that a person is well organised, and is on a firm financial footing. The National Bank, with 840 Branches and Offices throughout Australia, is well equipped to provide you with the complete and informed banking services you will need in your profession. / • Take your first step towards a sound financial future by opening a NATIONAL BANK THE MODERN WAY TO PAY 4770/114/5fB THE NATIONAL HANK OF AUSTRALASIA LIMITED (INC. IN VIC.) SPECULUM tunity for superinfection following ingestion of food and fluids contaminated with the "hospital staphylococcus." Staphylococcal pneumonia is not an uncommon disease nowadays. It is usually diagnosed radiologically and is characterised by destruction of lung tissue. Pulmonary oedema and intercurrent viral influenza appear to be predisposing factors. A possible source of the organism in post-operative pneumonias is the lumen of unsterilized anaesthetic breathing tubes. Wound sepsis is probably not more common today than it was in the pre-antibiotic era but the aetiology has changed. Whereas some 10-15 years ago Group A haemolytic streptococci were frequently found in wound infections, today the principal organism is the hospital staphylococcus. The incidence of wound sepsis in the teaching hospitals of Melbourne varies from 6-8 per cent. for all surgical cases. Recalculating from Rubbo's figures (1948) the economic wastage from infection in a 500-bed hospital could amount to £12,500 per annum on presentday costs, that is, 2500 patient-days prolongation of hospital stay per annum at £5 per day. This problem must be controlled for humane and economic reasons. It is not peculiar to the Australian hospital scene but exists everywhere. The solution of staphylococcal cross-infection in hospitals depends on improvement in three directions —architectural design, antibiotic therapy and aseptic technique. Time and space (never admit lack of knowledge) do not permit me to develop all of these as they should. Most architects are curiously uninformed about the habits of the flying microbe or even the behaviour of steam. The design of operating suites, the installation of central sterilizing areas, the disposal of infected laundry, the supply of sterile water and the technique of ventilation and air purification are challenges which are often resolved at the aesthetic rather than the aseptic level. The best solution to the architectural aspect of cross-infection is to catch your architect in flagrante delicto with the sketch plans on his drawing board. Antibiotics in relation to intramural disease. The prevalence of the "hospital staphylococcus", that is, the strain usually resist- 37 ant to penicillin, streptomycin and the three tetracylcines but sensitive to chloramphenicol and erythromycin, is, in part, due to too much antibiotic therapy and too little aseptic care. The antibiotic environment, which the present-day hospital is, provides a selective advantage for the unrestricted propagation of the resistant mutant. If an organism, such as Staphylococcus aureus, exhibits a high degree of mutability towards resistance it follows that the resistant mutants will eventually displace the sensitive wild types. If, on the other hand, the mutation frequency is low, as in the case of Group A haemolytic streptococci with the antibiotics, then these organisms will tend to disappear so long as antibiotic selection is operative. Another indirect contribution to the cross-infection problem arising from broad spectrum antibiotic therapy is the reduction of the normal bacterial flora on mucosal surfaces of the respiratory and alimentary tracts. This reduction in some way facilitates the colonization in these tissues of foreign, and sometimes dangerous, parasites, most frequently yeasts (Candida albicans) or drug-resistant staphylococci. Freter (1955) showed that oral streptomycin precipitated fatal disease in guinea pigs infected with Vibrio cholerae. Cooper (Melbourne Ph.D. thesis) modified Freter's technique and showed that Shigella infection in mice could be induced with as few as 100 organisms in animals treated with erythromycin and streptomycin by mouth. These observations lend strong support to the view that staphylococcal enteritis might be a sequential result of oral antibiotic therapy. The question now arises, what, if any, antibiotic control can be imposed on the hospital staff. The Royal Women's Hospital has adopted with success a rigid rotational antibiotic programme On the collaborative advice of the bacteriologist and clinicians only one antibiotic is available for a period of approximately six months for treatment of all staphylococcal infections. After this time a different antibiotic is then selected, and so the rotation of drugs continues. This we understand (Butler, personal communication) has been most successful in preventing the build-up of the hospital staphylococcus. However, the circumstances surrounding this important ex- SPECULUM 38 for relief of pain! a synergistic combination of Aspirin, Phenacetin and Codeine Phosphate. Ascotin tablets ease pain rapidly and the Codeine Phosphate soothes the patient's nervous system. Extensive clinical experience has proved the value of Ascotin. Each tablet contains: Aspirin Gr. 4 Phenacetin Gr. 4 Codeine Phosphate Gr. 1/6 Available in tubes of 20 Tablets; in bottles of 100 Tablets. Prepared by the pharmaceutical division of F. H. FAULDING MANUFACTURING CHEMISTS CO. LIMITED • AUSTRALIA SPECULUM periment do not apply to a general hospital. For a general hospital the following recommendations might be considered: 1. No antibiotic or sulphonamide should be given to any patient unless there are clear indications for its use (clear indications means scientifically-based reasons, not inspired hunches). 2. All open infections (wounds, skin, alimentary, respiratory and urinary tract diseases) should be treated with a double drug therapy. In the case of staphylococcal infections an antibiogram (drug sensitivity pattern.) must dictate the choice of drugs; in other infections an antibiogram may or may not be necessary. 3. Where possible, the first combination of drugs used should include an antibiotic and a triple sulphonamide. 4. The supply of certain antibiotics should be carefully controlled, particularly erythromycin, kanamycin and novobiocin. These may be invaluable for disseminated staphylococcal infection and should be reserved for the serious case whenever possible. The two principles underlying these recommendations may be briefly mentioned. In the first place, one can modify high mutation frequency of an organism to a single drug by exposing it to two dissimilar drugs simultaneously. Survivors in this system must be resistant to both drugs and the chances for the selective propagation of the doubly-resistant mutants are many times less than those for the mutants resistant to a single drug. For example, if the frequency of mutation is 1 in 10 6 cells towards resistance for antibiotic A and 1 in 10 6 for B, then the mutation rate for resistance to A and B will be 1 in 1012 cells. This rate is so low that doubly-resistant mutants are unlikely to develop, a phenomenon well demonstrated in the chemotherapy of tuberculosis and worthy of exploitation in staphylococcal and other infections. The second principle behind these recommendations is an obvious one. As the open infection constitutes the greater hazard of cross-infection care must be taken to ensure that the spread is not due to resistant strains. The double drug treatment is aimed at preventing this contingency. 39 We might add in parenthesis that the reasons for recommending double drug therapy here are quite different from those usually put forward for some commercially available combinations. For many of these combinations synergistic action is claimed, but seldom demonstrated. Nor is the use of double drug treatment recommended as a "blanket" measure to treat infections of unknown aetiology. Its success in preventing the emergence of resistant mutants depends on the fact that the causative agent is sensitive to both drugs. Asepsis in relation to intramural staphylococcal disease Asepsis is a diffuse and complex subject (this really means my knowledge of asepsis is diffuse and complicated). In its broadest terms it is concerned with the exclusion, removal and destruction of micro-organisms. Asepsis in the operating theatre is designed to protect the individual patient against infection but in the wards the protection is extended to a community of individuals. In the former situation aseptic discipline is readily accepted; in the latter is is open to many unsuspected breaches of application. Acquired infection during an operation can only result from contact or air-borne contamination. In the wards, infection by contact, by air and by ingestion are all possible, the first two being more frequent. Theatre asepsis demands effective preoperative sterilization of instruments, gloves, textiles and skin and the maintenance of sterility during the operation. While the standards of surgical asepsis are particularly high improvements might be sought in the surgical scrub-up and the use of longsleeved operating gowns. These problems are now being investigated. The principal causes of breakdown in theatre hygiene often stem from circumstances outside the surgeon's control. For instance, anaesthetists often enter theatres with gowns loosely draped over their street clothes and many do not bother to change, or even cover, their footwear. The corrugated rubber tubes and Y pieces of the anaesthetic machines are seldom sterilized and theoretically provide a possible means of inducing postoperative staphylococcal pneumonias. The air entering some operating theatres is often unfiltered or is drawn by exhaust fans from the hospital corridors or through dust-laden SPECULUM 40 ducts. The unnecessary movement of individuals and the overcrowding of theatres also contribute to the bacterial air loading, which should never be higher than 10 organisms per cubic foot of air. In short, the main weakness in operative asepsis is compounded of two elements—lack of personal discipline and incredible architectural mistakes. Ward asepsis is far more complex a problem and we can neither answer all questions nor question all answers connected with it. One aspect of this problem is the role of the woollen blanket as a reservoir and disseminator of the hospital staphylococcus. It would appear that overseas and South Australian workers consider the woollen blanket a more dangerous source of airborne infection than the cotton textiles, sheets and pillow slips. A Melbourne group (Rubbo, Stratford, Christie and Dixson) are now investigating this question. It is too soon to report their findings but this much can be said—of the two types of textiles, woollen blankets and cellulose sheeting, the latter invariably yields higher staphylococcal and total counts. The top sheet of any hospital bed is always more 111■•■•■••■■•■ ••••••••• •■•■■••■■•■ •■•■•••••■M•lx•-••••• ■•■■ •■■■•••••••■•••■•■•■•■••••■•■•••■■■•• The uses of "NOVOCAIN" MARK TRADE The original Local Anaesthetic are constantly extending: heavily contaminated than the blanket it covers. Whether these cottons can spread their heavy bacterial flora more effectively than the less heavily contaminated blankets can only be determined by controlled experiments of a type which are now being carried out at St. Vincent's Hospital, Melbourne. It is hoped that the present studies will help to define the problem of ward cross-infection more clearly and to provide some practical answers to it. Those of you who hope to repeat Division II in 1960 will have an opportunity of hearing these results first hand. As I have now filled the space for your Editor there is no a priori reason for me to continue, not even to try to answer all question on Staphylococcus aureus. WHAT YOU SHOULD READ Elek, S. D., "Staphylococcus pyogenes and Its Relation to Disease", Livingstone, 1st ed. 1959. Hare, R., and Thomas, C. G. A., 1956, "The Transmission of Staphylococcus aureus", British Medical Journal, 2, 840. Hospital Coccal Infections. "A symposium, Medical Research Council Committee on Cross-Infection in Hospital" Jan. 2nd, 1957. McDermott, W., 1956, "The Problem of Staphylococcal Infection" British Medical Journal, 2, 837. Robinson, R., 1958, "Hospital Staphylococcal Infections" Oxford Medical School Gazette, 10, 78. Rubbo, S. D., 1948, "Infection: A Hospital Problem," Medical Journal of Australia, 2, 627. INTRAVENOUS APPLICATION RECTAL DRIP APPLICATION POST OPERATIVE PAIN "NEURAL" . . . THERAPY Samples and Literature on request to J. L. 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RAMSAY (Surgical) Limited 340 SWANSTON STREET, MELBOURNE Phones: FJ 4121 (4 lines) AND PIC SYDNEY, ADELAIDE, BRISBANE, PERTI1, HOBART CHARCOT'S JOINT LUES GUMMA and his CONDYLOMATA ORCHESTRA featuring Plusfour Wassermann and his Argyll Robertson Pupils - ALWAYS A CONGENITAL CROWD Paresis Reasonable. Ataxia Included (Tabes for Ladies) 606, SALVARSAN BUILDING CHANCRE HEIGHTS SPECULUM 43. Viewpoint on The General Practitioner in The British National Health Service By E. C. Gawthorn, M.B., Ch.B. (Bristol) In 1948, as part of its "cradle to grave" social services plan, the British Labour Government introduced the National Health Service. Under its terms the nation's health services were mobilised to provide, for all, "free" medical, dental, optical, pharmaceutical and hospital facilities. The general practitioner found himself a cog in the health service machine, and found that the scheme, which many doctors had welcomed, proved unsatisfactory in many respects. These can be discussed under the headings of remuneration, lack of professional freedom, and interference with the proper relationship which should exist between patient and doctor. The average fees of G.Ps. in Britain before the scheme were 3/6 for surgery consultations, 5/- for home visits for private patients, and £1 per head per annum for "panel" patients. These latter were workers who, with their employer, paid for a doctor's services on a per capita basis. The National Health Service extended the panel scheme to cover everyone and the G.P. was paid just less than £1 per year per patient. The rate was subject to review from time to time, but the doctors have discovered the government to be very slow to grant concessions. In spite of enormous rises in wages and the cost of living, the G.P. is now paid very little more than he was in 1948. The maximum number of patients the doctor was allowed to have on his list was 4000, and this would give him an income of approximately £4000 gross. However, it has been found that a doctor cannot cope properly with more than about 1500 patients and the good and conscientious G.P. finds that he must restrict his list— hence his income—in order to give his patients a good and careful service. A gross income of £1500 per annum when deductions are made for practice premises, a receptionist's wages, a locum tenens during holidays, car running, income tax, etc., gives the doctor very little reward for long hours of work and long years of unpaid study. It is only the doctor's professional pride and regard for his patients that has prevented a major break-up of the service and strike action by the doctors. The National Health Service Act banned the "sale" of goodwill, and the country is divided into areas dependent on the ratio of G.Ps. to the population. Hence, areas are designated "over-doctored", "doctored", or "under-doctored". No new practices may be established, nor additional partners added to existing practices, in the first two catagories; and doctors must receive government approval before taking up practice anywhere. There are only very few areas in Britain which are designated "underdoctored"; thus it is virtually impossible for a young man of initiative to put up his plate and build up a practice. The doctors were promised compensation for their practices but, after joining the scheme, they discovered that the compensation was not to be paid until they retired or resigned from the scheme. Since the valuation of money has decreased considerably this results in doctors getting (eventually) only a proportion of the relative worth of their practice. The younger men, who had not yet acquired a practice, held the scheme as a wonderful change from the old times of having to pay large sums for goodwill. Little did they know that the dP SPECULUM 44 scheme that they hailed would result in a tremendous pool of young—and ageing— doctors of the assistant O.P. grade! These young graduates are becoming more and more disillusioned as the years go by, as they have not succeeded in being appointed to vacancies in G.P. Although there is a superannuation scheme, there is little incentive for the older doctor to retire and make way for the younger man, when he can retain the practice in name and employ a "boy", cheaply, to do most of the work, and easily replace him if he becomes ambitious. Nor did the younger men realise that, whilst goodwill was no longer saleable, they would often have to pay the retiring doctor a very high price for the house from which the practice was conducted as a condition of being "given" the practice. This difficulty of obtaining jobs forces many doctors to migrate abroad or to enter fields of medical work other than general practice. One doctor, who recently came here, applied unsuccessfully for 289 appointments in G.P. in England. As a protest he even registered with the Department of Labour as an unemployed person. I know of many other young doctors with similar experiences. The doctor is not paid for any extra service he gives the patient; therefore, no doctor in the scheme can run an X-ray machine or equip himself with surgical instruments or with many of the usual aids to diagnosis. This, and other factors, result in a severe curtailing of the doctor's professional freedom. Since the pathology and X-ray facilities of the hospitals are overburdened with the enormous increase in work, the G.P. is not allowed to order special investigations on his own initiative. The G.P. does not have access to beds in the hospital; thus most of his interesting cases must be referred to a hospital for investigation and treatment. He has to refer to the hospital minor surgery such as cysts, abcesses, simple fractures, lacerations, etc., which do much to add to the interest of practice, and which his training make him completely competent to perform. These factors must reduce the Designed for Dentists ... In response to requests from dentists for a soft toothbrush, Johnson & Johnson developed the Tek Multi-Soft. This brush, with 4 rows of soft nylon bristles is particularly suitable for gum massage. Also of interest is Tek Professional with 2 rows of tufts on a small head, allowing easy access, and Tek Junior with soft nylon especially for the kiddies. Tel PROFESSIONAL JUNIOR SPECULUM level of the G.P.'s competence and clinical acumen, and, after many long years of training, doctors become disgruntled when they are reduced, in part, to a form-filling-sorting clerk for the local hospital O.P. department. The fact that no one can obtain "free" medicine, dressings, or surgical aids without a doctor's prescription fills the doctor's waiting room with many people who only want the doctor to write out their shopping list for them! The doctor, therefore, has much too little time for examining his patients who are really sick—this again reducing his competence as a clinician. Due to the overcrowding of the hospitals which results from the above-mentioned, there is an enormous delay in the O.P. department and a waiting list for essential X-rays, etc., that is so long as to be come dangerous. The G.P. loses sight of his referred case and, several months later, receives a letter from the hospital— long after he has forgotten it. The relationship between patient and doctor is altered under the scheme. The doctor's clinical records of his patient are available for inspection, on demand, by a lay government inspector, thus destroying the much cherished and long established tradition of professional secrecy. Since the patients have all the rights under the scheme and the doctor none they are, in general, much more demanding in their attitude. A patient may report his doctor to the local health committee for many and various "misdemeanors" for which the doctor can be summarily fined without right of appeal. A doctor was recently fined for refusing to see a patient under the following circumstances: the patient telephoned to say that his son had swallowed several tablets accidentally. The doctor, who was in bed with influenza, told the father to take his son quickly to the hospital which was very near to the patient's house. The doctor telephoned the hospital to forewarn them of the patient's arrival. For not going to see the patient, although this would have meant a delay in his treatment, the doctor was fined £25. In the country areas the G.P. is slightly better off than in the towns. Country G.Ps. are allowed to charge mileage fees to the government and are also allowed beds in the small "cottage" hospitals where they can do some minor surgery. The age of the G.P. 45 surgeon is dying, however, since the scheme of itinerant consultants for small country hospitals was started. In general, patients in the country are less demanding with trivial complaints than those in the cities, and the country G.P. is able to practice medicine in a more orthodox manner. There are some advantages of the scheme from the G.P's. point of view. He has no bad debts, nor has he any accountancy fees. In Australia, the G.Ps. have different rules for prescribing, different fees, and different types of certificates for private, Repatriation, pensioner and workers' compensation patients. In England all patients come under the one scheme. The doctor in Australia must, on occasions, give the patient less service than he really needs because the patient feels he cannot afford ample medical treatment. In England the doctor has no such worry. With our limited State aid here, and with the pension scheme, in the industrial suburb in which I practice I find very few people who cannot afford medical treatment. If the enormous cost of the British scheme is taken into account—it costs £700,000,000 annually (ie., £14 per head of the population)—the scheme results in far more poverty for the community as a whole. From the above considerations it is evident that, from the G.P's. point of view, the disadvantages of the British scheme far outweigh its advantages. This year there will be more registrations of British doctors in Victoria alone than the number of students in the present final year at the Melbourne University. There must be something wrong with a scheme which is forcing doctors, in increasing numbers, to migrate abroad. If an alteration of the present system in practice is contemplated in Australia, it is essential that the medical profession remain as free as possible so that the doctor remains a free professional man and not a State public servant; and that the harmony of the private relationship which should exist between patient and doctor is undisturbed by the eternal triangle made by State interference. Hear of the first year student who thought a pseudopod was an ovarian tumour? : SPECULUM 46 (.71•71111WalrNIMUFW WWW1111111•1•1111•11,•1 sz;es. SAPODERM I (D.H.A.) Hexachlorophene (2%) Soap In Theatre and Surgery A three-minute scrub with Sapoderm is as effective as ten minutes with plain soap, even when check counts are made ofter two hours. Dull. J. A., Tintel, H. A., Ellis, J. L., and Nicholls. A., Surg., Gynec. and Obst.. 1950, LX. In Home, School or OffLce I I 1 For the general control of skin infection . . . and as an all-day deodorant — after lathering axillary regions. I Non-Lmtatmg From numerous tests and reports, Hexachlorophene appears to be non-irritating to the skin and to have no sensitizing effect. ■ I I■ ■ ■ ■ AVAILABLE IN LARGE 5 OUNCE CAKES Distributed throughout Australia by ALL D.H.A. HOUSES wwwwwwinrorMnevnffavarommmawarwacamransiwornivroisliva disi ragurisu 1 SPECULUM 47 A CONCISE DICTIONARY OF MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE "Herbie" The following is a symposium entitled "Medicine via the Lacy Press". We see here the reporting of medicine in simple, clear, concise language, not necessarily with any reference to the truth, and we feel: if ONLY textbooks were written like THIS! The following examples are not imaginary and in all cases there is not the slightest exaggeration. On request the author will demonstrate a "trumped-up" article for comparison. The author can be contacted in person now, but at the conclusion of the exams this year will, regardless of result, be contactable only in spirit (s?). Bleeder's Digest April 1st, 1959 Articles of lasting interest DO YOUR BREASTS FEEL FUNNY? By Dr. Harris B. Queenliegh The author, an eminent American authority on Cancer, particularly in the mammary glands (breasts, or something worse, to you) tells how you can save yourself from this frightful disease. My article is addressed primarily to ladies, although, as this is a family magazine, I daresay there will be some interest to even the males of the family. This is because even males have breasts, which is not as confusing (really) as you might think. Basically, there are two types of breast: true and false, and the diseases of the latter are two-fold only. Firstly, a diffuse hypertrophy, which often has an extremely acute onset and leads occasionally to symptoms of severe embarrasment—and even collapse. Secondly, an acute sagging is described— this can have almost catastrophic results, with severe collapse. You may see someone stricken in this way in the street. To treat such a patient, especially when collapsed, help her to lie down, but on no account loosen the clothing as this could prove an even greater embarrassment to the constitution. The true breast has only one disease. Lumps. These come in varying sizes and should always be examined under the light. By this we mean a surgical examination, not what you were thinking, you cad. Some lumps are cancers just beginning their death-march. Thousands of tiny little cells all multiply, and next thing you know you've lost weight, you can't eat, you're unable to sleep—bang! you've had it. But there's no need to worry. To help you tell if you've got cancer we attach this list. Just put Yes and No against the questions. (a) One yes only—you're safe. (b) Three yesses—still benign. (c) Five yesses—you're spastic. (d) Seven yesses—definitely neoplastic. SPECULUM 48 KANCER KWIZ Losing weight? Get up at night? (You can interpret that as you like) Do you like mulligatawny soup? Ever been sick after oysters? Ever dream at night? How are your bowels? Have you a little brother? Do you love him? Do you play sport? Are you a gambler at heart? Do you drink? Smoke? Interested in the opposite sex? Is your I.Q. above 50? Are you happy in your job? Are you married? Do you drive? Have you any of the following complaints? 1. Night starvation 2. B.O. 3. Waking up tired 4. Bad breath 5. The "Shakes" Footnote: The author, Dr. Harris B. Queenliegh, His mother was born in a water closet. says, "Harry was always one who wouldn't wait." He graduated M.D. from the Four Square Christian College of Medicine, Wahoo, Nebraska, in 1931. Since leaving the A.M.A. he has mostly written for the press, although he runs a clinic for single girls on Saturday afternoons. He has been married twice. Neither marriage was a success because his wives "just couldn't get along together." There was once a young girl who, enthralled with her first love affair, arranged for her boy-friend's face to be tattooed over her heart. However, the friendship did not last, and within a short time she had found herself a new companion who, she felt, deserved also his imprint—this time tattooed on the right side. This again broke up, but her third venture was more successful, and marriage took place. On the wedding night she explained the significance of her tattoos to her new husband. Instead of showing jealousy he laughed heartily. "Why do you laugh?" she asked. "I was just thinking," he replied, "that within a few years what long faces they will have!" The Soviet Cataract April 1st, 1959 One reader writes: "I wonder could you tell us something in your excellent magazine of medicine as practiced in the U.S.S.R. I am very interested in this subject. Yours sincerely, E.J.W., Ceylon." In reply, we publish the following article. Photographs are by E. Bearsky (People's Medallion of Photography). MEDICINE has been practised in U.S.S.R. since time "in memorium". Since the Revolution, however, great advances have been made. There are 30,000,000 doctors in U.S.S.R., of which some 500,000 are still alive. There are many nurses and wardsmen. The hospitals are huge and thoroughly up to date. One of Moscow's general hospitals has been the most up-to-date in the world since 1929, when it was built. Disease is rare in Russia today thanks to the excellent medical service of the third "five-year plan". This has resulted in some Russians living to the age of 140 and even longer. This lack of disease threatens unemployment in medical circles. Fortunately, many doctors volunteered as labourers in the highly successful "Virgin Lands" settlement scheme. Russians have been responsible for many advances in medicine, and their names are now household words all over the world. Hence, we need not mention them in this article. SPECULUM 49 Mr. Nikita Kruscheff congratulating Mr. Letcher Poppinoffen before presenting his wife with the Soviet Medal of Heroic Motherhood-10 children. Our photographs show something of medical teaching in Russia. It is regretted that a poor coverage is being given to this subject in this article. More may be learnt about Russian medicine in the following Medical students receiving advanced training in temperature taking at the converted chapel in one of Moscow's large upto-date hospitals. Soon they will get a chance to take a temperature themselves. (In Canitalist countries the students don't bother to take the temperature.) films, where doctors or medicine play a part. "1917—The Bloody Year", with E. Solmoy and D. Listokniff. "Lenin The Great", with P. Petrovich and G. Podsnoppikoff. "The Birth of Lenin", with L. Pavlov (as Lenin's mother) and several genuine Lenin relics. THE MOSCOW UNIVERSITY SPECULUM 50 The Australasian Most April 1st, 1959 YOUR GONADS AND YOU You've got these glands, see? All over you. They make you what you are. These glands aren't all as obvious to the eye as others. They're deep inside the body, pouring out their "secretions" (that's the stuff they pour out) into the blood. "So what?" you say. "What's it in the blood for?" Hah. That's the whole trick. It gets at the cells of the body. Marvellous, isn't it? And that, briefly, is how it works. Grace Kelly was a wow of an actress. Brother Jack was an Olympic sculler. Scientists are sure that their pre-eminence was due to their sex. If Grace had tried to be a rower, where do you think she'd be? And can you imagine Jack as an actress? Charlie Flaherty, of Wahoo, Nebraska, U.S.A., had a childish ambition to grow a beard. He did, all right, but now his head is as smooth as a billiard ball. Silly, isn't it? How did Sabrina get that way? The scientist now knows the answer. r"MEMIONE11.11111.111 SPECULUM 51 CHYME April 1st, 1959 A weekly newsmagazine MEDICINE For years doctors have been puzzled by one problem—how can you listen to a patient's heart without embarrassment? Many doctors claimed that the ear-to-breast manoeuvre certainly elicited thrills, but often provoked murmurs from the patient, especially if female. Last week dapper, moustachioed French medico Rene Laennec* came up with the answer to a maiden's prayer. Laennec's ear trumpet, made of rolled-up paper (price, 1 sou), can be used to listen to the heart without actually placing the head on the breast. Trust a Frenchman to think of the ladies! Laennec now visualises his "stethoscope" as a quite elaborate affair of rubber tubing. Came to him in a flash: Laennec, born in 1781, is now professor of medicine at the College de France. His other work centres about liver disease. Laennec says the idea came to him "in a flash". Science awaits the results of this discovery. *Full name: Rene Theophile Hyacinthe Laennec. WOMAN'S SAY? April 1st, 1959 "A DOCTOR ANSWERS" Send your medical queries to Dr. Howard and he will answer them in this column each week. He regrets his inability to enter into any correspondence. 1. 0.—I have varicose veins and seem to have this sore on my leg. What do you think I should do? Also, do you think I am overweight? I am 32 stone (dressed). "Anxious," N.S.W. A.—You may not be overweight. You may be 9 feet tall or wear a lot of clothes. You had better write to me again. 2. Q.—I am a girl of 25 and recently I met the man of my dreams. We just clicked. Foolishly, I gave him everything in an effort to keep him, but he just hasn't contacted me since. That was 6 months ago. Do you think you could give me hormones to make me more attractive? "Anxious", Q'land. A.—Well, I, er . . . . Q.—And also I seem to have this discharge down below for the last few years. What is it? A.—I am sending you one gross of assorted booklets which may help you. * * * 3. Q.—I am a woman of 62. I seem to have horribly lumpy breasts lately and am losing weight and coughing Also my hand feels up blood. numb and my back hurts. Can you help me? "Anxious," Vic. A.—Certainly. I am sending you the name of a well-known proprietary tonic which will soon put you on your feet. * * * 4. Q.—My young daughter aged 13 has just started menstruating and I find this rather odd as I have always thought she was a pseudo-hermaphrodite. "Anxious," S.A. A.--Mother knows best. 52 SPECULUM OFFERS YOU THE FINEST IN PHARMACEUTICALS DEPEND upon the I.C.I. range of Pharmaceuticals as offered by the I.C.I. Representative. Backed by the vast I.C.I. resources and research these thoroughly tested I.C.I. products are your guarantee of the best and finest in Pharmaceuticals. 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Meprobamate — for • "Mepavlon" emotional and muscular tension. Sulphadimidine • "Sulphamezathine" B.P. — a potent Sulphonamide. • "Trilene" Trichlorethylene — in analgesia and anaesthesia. Products of Imperial Chemical Industries Ltd. Pharmaceuticals Division, England IMPERIAL CHEMICAL INDUSTRIES OF AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND LIMITED Sales Offices, Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, Perth, Adelaide, Launceston, Hobart MED .202% 5990 SPECULUM 53 DIAGNOSTIC QUIZ SURGERY Mr. T. H. Ackland 1. A patient with the diagnosis of chronic nephritis finally died in a medical ward with symptoms and signs which seemed to be those of uremia. The blood urea before death was 250 mg. per cent. However, a visit to the P.M. room brought great discomfort to the physician concerned (and also to the R.M.O., who was the writer). What was found? 2. Cholecystectomy was performed on a young woman of twenty-eight, a nurse. Her convalescence was associated with what seemed an inordinate amount of pain, and then her wound refused to heal. Even after five months, several sinuses were discharging pus freely, and a high pyrexia was All investigations were usually present. negative, and driven to it, the surgeon reopened the abdomen to exclude a pack being present. Again the wound continued to discharge. Why? 3. A garage mechanic who had received no injury complained of a hard swelling on the back of his right wrist, made very obvious by palmar flexion. It seemed much harder than a ganglion, and was slightly tender. 4. A medical student came with a wrist drop due to a right radial nerve paralysis affecting the forearm extensors. It had been present two weeks. He had had no fracture of the humerus, and had not used crutches. What was it? 5. A young woman of twenty-two was referred from the country with the suggestion that she had an abdominal aneurysm. She had no symptoms but there was visible and palpable pulsation in the epigastrium. What was the diagnosis? 6. Acute cholecystitis had been diagnosed confidently in a patient of fifty-five with high temperature, pain, tenderness and rigidity at the right costal margin, but at operation embarrassment arose when a ANSWERS normal gall-bladder was revealed. This is an important trap, because it is a common one. What is it? 7. My garage attendant limps and wears a toe spring for a permanent foot drop. He acquired this four years ago after being in hospital for the treatment of a badly infected finger. How did this come about? 8. A woman of forty had suffered many years of almost unbearable pain in the tip of her right middle finger, shooting up her arm. She had been to many doctors without obtaining relief and had recently been referred She spoke of suicide. to a psychiatrist. Clinical examination was negative except that she would not allow the end of her finger to be touched. 9. A young girl came with a small abscess over the left malar region. It was treated as such, but six months later she returned because there was still a discharge of pus. What was the reason? 10. A young man of thirty-five had an unexplained anaemia of such severity as to require admission to a medical ward for blood transfusion. He had no symptoms other than weakness, and blood examinations did not enable a diagnosis to be made. After discharge from hospital the anaemia recurred and he was readmitted with a haemoglobin of 45 per cent. What should be thought of in all cases such as this? 11. An elderly man of seventy-six, whose mental condition was not very good, and who had been confined to his bed with bronchitis for some time, was referred for sigmoidoscopy because of troublesome diarrhoea. What first thoughts before arranging for sigmoidoscopy? 12. Following cholecystectomy and exploration of the common bile duct, the latter had been closed by accurate suturing, and a tube inserted to the gall-bladder bed. On the 5th and 6th days the pulse rate rose to 120 and the abdomen became silent and distended. There was only a little bloodWhat stained discharged from the tube. should be done? ON PAGE 59 SPECULUM 54 MEDICINE Dr. G. A. Pennington 1. Three young women were admitted to the same ward within 24 hours with similar symptoms and signs—acute colicky general abdominal pain of 24 hours duration, localising in the right lower quadrant, mild pyrexia, frequency of micturition with slight scalding, vomiting without relief of pain, tenderness over McBurney's point but no rigidity. P.R. N.A.D. Breath—"abdominal", tongue furred. Microscopy of the urine revealed— In (a) pus cells in profusion, red blood cells and bacilli. In (b) pus cells, and red blood cells: no organisms seen. In (c) many red blood cells, pus and epithelial cells, granular casts and a few cellular casts. Albumen was also present in a moderate amount. Would you advise operation? 2. A middle-aged ex-serviceman was admitted with a history of right upper abdominal pain and tenderness of subacute onset, persistent for two weeks. There had been two previous attacks which had slowly Tenderness over the liver was subsided. noted, maximum in the gall bladder area; leucocyte count was normal. - Temperature was remittent, maximum 37.8° C. No gall bladder shadow was seen on cholecystography. What course will you take? 3. A carpenter aged 50 who had spent all his life in Victoria complained of diarrhoea of one week's duration following an accident to his son. He had previously suffered from intermittent diarrhoea coincident with domestic upsets, relieved by superficial psychotherapy and sedation. Sigmoidoscopy had previously revealed no lesion and barium clysma examination was normal. What would be your management? 4. A male aged 60 was brought to hospital semicomatose and with a superficial abrasion in the right frontal region. He was a known chronic alcoholic. There were no physical signs of a severe head injury or He was significant variation in reflexes. irritable when roused and with recovery of consciousness was confused, restless and difficult to control. He talked incessantly to the annoyance of others in the medical ward. Management, please. 5. A housewife in her forties was under treatment for nutritional anaemia, her bone marrow having shown normoblastic haemopoeiesis during a relapse. She was given folic acid orally and within a month became psychotic and developed abnormal plantar reflexes although they were not of classical Babinski type. Moderate normocytic normochromic anaemia was present. What would this sequence of events make you suspect? 6. A housewife aged 55 suffering from a refractory anaemia, with no symptoms other than those due to anaemia, also had signs of mitral stenosis. X-ray examination to determine the cardiac size and contour revealed the cause of her anaemia. 7. A farmer aged 24 years reported to his doctor complaining of pain in the right side of the chest and was found to have signs consistent with a large pleural effusion. Aspiration was complicated by coughing, cyanosis, shock and expectoration of liquid. Advice was requested by his doctor regarding resuscitative measures and explanation. What would you advise and suspect? 8. A male student, aged 20, who had "not been well" for two weeks found difficulty in riding his motor cycle home from a parade because of an uncontrollable tendency to veer to the left. On the following day he was dropping things from his left hand, drowsy, irritable, and strange in his behaviour. Headache was constant. He was found to have neck stiffness and a left hemiparesis. Fundi were normal. General physical examination revealed no lesion in cardiovascular, respiratory, alimentary or genitourinary systems. He had had repeated X-ray examination of his chest because of some abnormality Mantoux test was negative. Provisional diagnosis and investigations? 9. What is a relatively common cause of auricular fibrillation which is inadequately controlled by digitalis? 10. Under what circumstances is the intravenous administration of digoxin desirable? SPECULUM MI-DICAL MI -DLLYS 1959 "The WIZARD of OS" KHiP FRIDAY, 11th DECEMBER 55 SPECULUM 56 PAEDIATRICS Dr. H. N. B. Wettenhall 1. A small boy aged twelve months playing happily in the yard suddenly dropped what he was doing, screamed, and went very pale. His mother attempted to comfort him without success but when the doctor arrived twenty minutes later the child, apart from some pallor, appeared perfectly normal. What diagnosis would you suspect and what action would you take in such circumstances? 2. A child of ten months cries when picked up and his mother notices that he is unwilling to move his right leg. Possible diagnosis and management? 3. A baby of four months weighs only two pounds more than when he was born and on examination is found to have a loud His systolic bruit over the praecordium. heart is slightly enlarged and the liver is palpable two fingers breadths below the right costal margin. Diagnosis? 4. A boy, aged 8, had painful swollen knees, ankles and wrists for two days. He was feverish and there was a faint systolic bruit audible in his heart. On careful examination a petechial rash was visible over his ankles and buttocks. Diagnosis? DOING FINALS ? Then arrange to receive SPECULUM in future years and keep in touch ! See your Year Representative 5. A baby had an upper respiratory tract infection which had been treated with penicillin. Five days after the onset the baby refused his feeds, looked pale, and his mother said he was not taking any notice of her. What diagnosis would you suspect? 6. A girl, 5 years old, had fever up to 103°F for three days. The only findings were a slightly runny nose and a cough. The chest was clinically clear, but the child looked sick. Diagnosis to suspect? 7. A boy, aged 21 years, had croup when he was ten months old, and for the past two months his mother had noted noisy breathing and slight cough. He was otherwise well. X-ray chest showed clearer lung fields on the right than the left, and his mother said the boy often had peanuts to eat. Diagnosis? 8. A girl of 6 had chicken pox, following which for two months she complained intermittently of headaches on waking in the morning. She had also vomited on three occasions. On examination she was clinically normal. Diagnosis and management? 9. A boy, 8 years old, suffered from epilepsy. He had been treated with dilantin and mysoline, and for six months tridione had been added. For two weeks he was noted to be puffy round the eyes, his urine contained over half albumin on boiling. His blood pressure was normal, and there was no haematuria. Diagnosis? 10. A baby, aged 6 months, had a cold which progressed to bronchopneumonia. Staphylococcus aureus was grown from a throat swab, and the baby was treated with erythromycin. At first the baby improved, but after a week the temperature was rising, respirations were more rapid and there was no doubt he was sicker. Diagnosis and management at this stage? 11. Mary, 51 years old, was brought to the doctor because her younger sister, Jane, was as tall as she was. Mary was also slow in her reactions and looked sallow. She did not eat much and was mildly constipated. Diagnosis? 12. While his mother was doing her household chores the baby boy, aged 15 months, was playing happily on the floor. His mother suddenly noticed that the baby was deep blue in colour and rushed him to hospital. Diagnosis and management? UPV 57 SPECULUM OBSTETRICS AND GYNAECOLOGY Dr. N. A. Beischer The foetal heart immestage of labour. diately became irregular and disappeared. 5. An 11-year-old female mental defective was brought to gynaecological outpatients' department suffering from an offensive yellow vaginal discharge. 6. For card players: What is the gynaecological "Full Hand"? A Patient's Privilege MEMORANDA TO PATIENTS From "Hospital & Community" 1853 1. A woman aged 22 years presented complaining of four hours abdominal pain which had become progressively severe, and which radiated to the loins. Her last normal period had occurred 12 weeks previously. She had been unable to void since the onset of the pain. Examination revealed a tender midline mass arising from the pelvis, extending to the level of the umbilicus. The mass was smooth and dull to percussion. Vaginal palpation showed a tender mass in the Pouch of Douglas projecting into the vagina, the cervix being displaced anteriorly behind the pubic symphysis. 2. A woman aged 75 years presented with a 3-month history of post menopausal Examination revealed a firm, bleeding. This fixed mass in the right iliac fossa. mass was palpable vaginally high in the right fornix, and was the size of a tennis ball. It was tender and seemed regular. The uterus was small, anteverted, and mobile. 3. A woman aged 26 years presented at 32 weeks gestation with a history of acute right upper abdominal pain following a bout of coughing. Examination showed a tender mass in the right hypochondrium. The foetal heart was regular but the foetal parts difficult to palpate. 4. A multigravida at term had a bright painless two-ounce vaginal haemorrhage when the membranes ruptured in the second No patients shall play at cards or dice, or gamble or smoke tobacco or spit on the floor, or deface or injure any part of the ward or any furniture, bedding or clothing therein, or sing, blaspheme, or use rude or indecent language. 1953 Dear Patient, It is unfortunate that you have had to enter this hospital, but we wish to assure you that we shall do everything possible to make your stay with us as happy as circumstances permit. To us, the patient is the most important person in this hospital, and it will be the pleasant duty of everyone —doctors, nurses, technicians, and others— to work for the restoration of your health. Your nurses will be happy to give you information as to contacting Ministers of Religion, posting letters, visiting hours, Red Cross library service, daily newspapers, and the service provided by honorary workers who bring a trolley from the Kiosk, so you may purchase toilet requisites, cigarettes, sweets, and such like. If necessary, you will also be visited by an Almoner to discuss arrangements for your transfer later to a convalescent home, and also other matters concerning your welfare after you leave the hospital. May we express every good wish for your speedy recovery? Yours sincerely, On behalf of The Royal Melbourne Hospital Manager. 58 SPECULUM ANDREWS CAMERA STORES offer you the Largest Range of Photographic Equipment in Australia Consult our experts for all your requirements — BIG or SMALL OUR TWO BIG STORES are located at 69 Elizabeth Street. Cl MB 1844 and 230 Collins Street. Cl 67-3004 SEE US or RING US OUR ADVICE IS FREE 59 SPECULUM ANSWERS TO DIAGNOSTIC QUIZ SURGERY 1. Perforated pelvic appendicitis with general peritonitis. It is difficult to be sure whether it is more dangerous to have a medical condition in a surgical ward or a surgical condition in a medical ward! 2. The answer was provided on another occasion when still further exploration was carried out. A small ball of cotton wool was found—material not used during operaShe was a confirmed pethedine tions. addict and had kept her wound from healing by pushing in wool pledgets. Thermometer readings had been kept elevated by some form of deceit never discovered. 3. Carpal bossing (carpe bossu), a bony overgrowth of the dorsal aspects of both the capitate and the 3rd metacarpal, is a very common condition not spoken about very much. It is usually symptomless but in this case tendons had been slipping over the prominence. 4. Much questioning was needed to confirm the suspected diagnosis of "Saturday night paralysis". Friends had come along to watch T.V. They had a few drinks and it was 4 a.m. when he awoke with his arm "feeling funny", because it had been hanging over the back of the chair. 5. No abnormality was present,—in some people, either thin or fat, the abdominal aorta is unexpectedly visible and palpable. 6. The patient had a pyonephrosis due to a stone impacted at the pelvi-ureteral junction, and this was removed with difficulty through the inappropriate anterior incision. Pyonephrosis should always be excluded before operating for acute cholecystitis. 7. Penicillin was injected into the sciatic It is the nerve causing nerve atrophy. writer's opinion that no nurse has sufficient knowledge of anatomy to be allowed to give injections into either the buttock or the arm. The radial and sciatic nerves have often been permanently damaged in this way. The anterior and lateral surfaces of the thigh are the only safe places. 8. This patient has a sub-ungual glomangioma half the size of a pea. It could only be seen when the nail had been removed and shelled out with ease. All symptoms disappeared. 9. This was a sinus from an abscess The associated with a left upper tooth. diagnosis was not so obvious as it might have been on the lower jaw. 10. Carcinoma of the caecum, which may present in this masked fashion with tragic results. The anaemia in this case had been present for six months before a barium enema was carried out, and operation disclosed an inoperable lesion. 11. Yes—impacted faeces, the "diarrhoea" was mucus only. 12. The risk of a diagnosis of paralytic ileus was too great and immediate re-openThere ing of the abdomen was advised. was choleperitoneum in spite of the fact that no bile issued from the tube, and a fatal outcome was narrowly averted. When the common bile duct has been opened it should never be closed, but always drained; so likely is bile, with its low surface tension, to leak. MEDICINE 1. The history and signs could not exThe leucocyte clude acute appendicitis. count was not helpful although raised in (c). All were operated upon, the diagnosis being: In (a) acute appendicitis in addition to and possibly causative of the pyobacilluria. In (b) a normal appendix was removed— acute pyelitis. In (c) a gangrenous appendix was removed. Acute nephritis was also present and recovery occurred. 2. Enquiry elicited service in Middle East and New Guinea. He had not suffered from dysentery. X-ray revealed some elevation of right hemidiaphragm. Microscopy of stools disclosed cysts of E. Histolytica. Anti-amoebic treatment resulted in complete remission of amoebic hepatitis. 3. General examination revealed no abStools were macroscopically normality. liquid and faecal with traces of mucus. Sig- 60 SPECULUM moidoscopy was again carried out and revealed typical acute amoebic dysentery. Vegetative forms of E. Histolytica were demonstrable in a scraping from the edge of an ulcer. He responded to treatment for amoebiasis. 4. A person who is "fighting drunk" or has abnormal behaviour, irritability or restlessness with evidence of even a minor head injury must be suspected of having a subarachnoid haemorrhage. X-ray examination revealed a fractured skull, and a subarachnoid clot was evacuated after a delay of five days. 5. Folic acid may precipitate neurological manifestations of B12 deficiency especially subacute combined degeneration of the cord, when given to a person suffering from pernicious anaemia. Her bone marrow on three occasions was normoblastic; but the first examination was vitiated by prior administration of liver extract. She responded well to B12 parenterally. 6. Symptomless carcinoma of the lung. 7. Puncture of a pulmonary hydatid was suspected and treatment as for the apparently drowned with up-ending of the patient was urged. He recovered and a shrunken hydatid cyst was subsequently excised by Mr. Hayward. The signs of a pulmonary hydatid may be those of pleural effusion and X-ray examination of the chest should precede aspiration as a routine measure. 8. In view of the short history, neck stiffness, mental changes and the hemiparaesis in a young man with abnormal pulmonary findings radiographically, a provisional diagnosis of tuberculous meningitis was made. Made In Australia In addition to their range of injectable penicillin and streptomycin preparations, Glaxo Laboratories now produce penicillin V at their Antibiotic factory at Port Fairy. Oral tablets as the potassium salt are available as C.V.K. Abnormally large hilar shadows were present on X-ray examination and lumbar puncture revealed increase in Lymphocytes and protein and a fall in chlorides and sugar. Mantoux test was negative and remained so to the end. Acid fast bacilli indistinguishable from M. tuberculosis were isolated from the urine on one occasion. Remissions occurred but death from hydrocephalus resulted 12 months later despite streptomycin. Autopsy confirmed the diagnosis. No reaction to the Mantoux Test does not exclude tuberculosis. 9. Thyrotoxicosis. 10. When there are positive indications for digitalization, the oral route is precluded by vomiting, and digitalis or its glusosides have not been taken for two weeks. PAEDIATRICS 1. The history was suggestive of intussusception but initially no tumour was palpIt was considered that the child able. should be kept under observation and while on the way to hospital he had another attack of screaming and abdominal pain, following which the typical sausage-shaped tumour was palpated. The intussusception was reduced at operation and the baby made a complete recovery. 2. The most likely diagnosis is scurvy though the mother may fear the child has poliomyelitis. Osteomyelitis would be accompanied by fever, and trauma might need to be considered in some cases. An X-ray of the leg would clarify the diagnosis and ascorbic acid would provide the cure. 3. This could be a ventricular septal defect, patent ductus, pulmonary stenosis or aortic stenosis. Patent ductus is the one to suspect because unrecognised the child could die, whereas surgery will cure. 4. This boy was a case of Henoch's purpura. In about ten days time he developed the signs of acute glomerulonephritis from which he ultimately recovered completely. 5. Examination showed minimal neck stiffness, and lumbar puncture revealed purulent cerebrospinal fluid from which H. influenzae was cultured. 6. On the third day the child had Koplik's spots inside her cheeks, and the SPECULUM typical rash of measles appeared on the fourth day. Always a starter in the early school age child. 7. On bronchoscopy it was not the peanut that we confidently expected to find, but granulation tissue infiltrating the bronchial lumen from a tuberculous gland which had produced the ball-valve obstruction. The Mantoux test later became positive. 8. Lumbar puncture showed clear cerebrospinal fluid both macroscopically and microscopically but the pressure was over This finding was repeated a 300 mms month later, following which ventriculography was done and an astrocytoma was found in the frontal lobe. Moral.—Headaches in young children are rarely functional. 9. Nephrotic syndrome, which cleared with simple bed rest and the cessation of tridione therapy. 10. Staphylococcal pneumonia in infancy is notorious for progressing to complications, of which suppuration in the lung and empyema are the most common. An X-ray of the chest suggested the presence of an interlobar empyema which was confirmed Following drainage of the at operation. empyema and the addition of chloromycetin therapy the baby made a complete recovery. Unfortunately results are not always so satisfactory. 11. Mary was suffering from juvenile An X-ray of her hands hypothyroidism. and wrists showed markedly delayed epiphyseal development. Serum cholesterol was 400 mgm, and Protein Bound Iodine was 2.4 micrograms. She was treated with Thyroid, grew six inches in the next ten months, and became a happy, normal child. 12. The baby had drunk some liquid furniture polish and was suffering from methaemoglobinaemia. Following an intravenous injection of methylene blue he made a prompt recovery. OBSTETRICS AND GYNAECOLOGY 1. Incarceration of the gravid uterus. Acute on chronic urinary retention. Twin pregnancy, later confirmed, explains the early onset of symptoms. 2. Granulosa cell tumour of the right ovary. 61 3. Extensive haematoma of right rectus muscle. 4. Vasa praevia with velamentous cord insertion. 5. Trichomonal vaginitis. 6. A young woman who, two months following her first emotional experience, presents with: (a) Positive Aschheim-Zondek test. (b) Positive Wassermann test. (c) Gonococcal vaginitis. (d) Pediculosis pubis. (e) Tubal pregnancy. THE OTHER FELLOW'S MIND I have studied the ways of my fellows, A number of them are complex; But there's one thing of which I am certain, Yes, one thing of which I'm quite certain, The mind of the medical student Is constantly centred on sex! He can give you a good dissertation On bees, birds and flowers and their ways, But a view he can air with assertion Is why women shouldn't wear stays. He knows all about nervous disorders And numerous other upsets; He possesses a great admiration For the guy who invented curettes. He knows well the osseous structure, Especially the bones of the hand; Which have a peculiar affinity For the curve of the mammary gland. He knows well the feel of the ankle, The calf and the knee and the thigh; And that ever so slight deviation Which a man simply cannot pass by! By now you'll have reached a conclusion Quite possibly it is the worst— Don't suffer from any delusion, 1 know, because I am a nurse! There was a young lady named Rose, Who had erogenous zones in her toes, She remained enanistic Till a foot fetishistic Young man became one of her beaux. —Speculum, New York. SPECULUM 62 A New Rubaiyat By 0., My! (With Pedagogic Footnotes) Awake! For boozing from the bowl all night Has, I'm afraid, made me a little tight; From dreams of Eastern damsels cease to leer, Review this (and many another) year. When first I started on this course My plan, to work without a pause, Was born of fear of 1st year quota, And so I spared not one iota. Knowledge was my only aim To fit me for profession; Sex had reared not its ugly head, Nor yet a drinking session. Yet now, methinks, my hoary head (Smoother than my age-lined face), Is full of thoughts of other things— Yet final year moves on apace.* *Cf. Khayam: "The bird is on the wing," viz. also Durante, "de wing is on der birdie." ■11■111111MMIEIM Nir 111111111111 SPECULUM Hogarth told the tale of the Rake, Such a tale I could also make; Yet of those men I will now tell Who tried to rescue me from H Over the years now let me glide, Dealing with but the working side; Forget the nights at Uni. Club, The murmuring in the Beer-Loud Pub.t Never will I forget the fright I got when I saw Professor Wright; This was nothing to my state When I became his question-bait. Fame never seems to come the way Of friendly, smiling Lesley Ray; And yet when he just grins at me I know of places I'd rather be. Nor can I forget my only tussle (Thank God) with Professor Kenneth Russell; Why did he raise up such a fuss Just 'cause I knew not the humerus.t tCf. Yeats: "The Lake Isle of Innisfret• tCf. Shakespeare: Know ye not Agincourt? 63 64 SPECULUM ERYTH Roc yrE (ENt.ARico In Division 1, Doctor Lavarack We called (jestingly) Happy Jack, Because, in two years, all that while Never was he seen to smile. Jack Legge's left handed hieroglyphic Code, on the board, looks terrific; But proves to all, I am afraid, Biochemists are born, not made. Professor Victor Trikojus claims That Biochem's on the march; Krebs and Ogsters laudable aims "Cannot fail to ensure that this subject goes forward to take its place at the forefront of the medical sciences." Pathology's Professor King In his subjects acknowledged whiz ding! Yet his pupils baffled looks wear At the time he spends on wound repair. SPECULUM Then we have big Doctor Hurley, Who talks to us on Wednesdays early; Keith "Blows it up"—but we Ogilvie bring, It's the only way we can draw the thing. Amiable Charlie Green In orals makes you feel serene; Prof. Christie, on the other way, May show that you have feet of clay. Professor S. D. Rubbo's way Is "Two beers, please, my friend will pay"; When he isn't going globe-flittin' He'll take you on at distance spittin'. Robert Wylie teaches "bugs" And shows us how to cane 'em; Dr. Wilson has some dogs— Is sometimes seen to train 'em. The Women's—Ah, fond memories! We lived the life of a stallion! We learned obstetrics and gynae there, And also some Italian. There is a man called S.L.T. Whose fame should well be known; "Your patient, doctuh?" tells you well, You'll reap what you have sown. 65 SPECULUM 66 And then we have young E. McK., A gruff man, that is what they say; Refresher may be a pleasant life, It all depends upon his wife. There is a Radiologist Who likes to know your name, I wist; He puts you on his little list So never let him see you drunk. Professor R. H. Lovell's fame Rests (rightly) in what he knows; A cold, you see, is not a cold, Unless you have a runny nose. Professor Ewing, I'd allow To operate on me, I know; As long as (this I must make clear) He doesn't set the Middle Ear. Many others there are, of course, We must let them pass; We thank them (of course) providing They do the same for us. For the moving finger writes 'tis true, And soon we meet our doom; And we are but some initials In the med. north lecture room. Weak we be (that's life's main charm), Hungry times crumbling food; Let us, we pray, do little harm, And a teeny bit of good. Deft Definitions: Ansa hypoglossi: Inaudible reply by a student in viva. Aponeurosis: Fear of nocturia. PREDSOL A range of products containing a completely soluble form of prednisolone; of particular value in ophthalmic preparations when freedom from irritation due to particle size is so important. GLAXO LABORATORIES (AUST.) PTY. LTD. THE MEDICAL STUDENTS' SONGBOOK Gentlemen, John South's new edition of the Medical Students' Songbook is about to be published. We have been waiting for this for a long time and guarantee that it has surpassed all expectations. All our old favourites are included in it. There is "Foggy, Foggy Dew," "Bible Stories", "Swimming Underwater", "Life Presents a Dismal Picture", "The Tertiary Kind", the nice girl with the "Crossed and bloodshot eye and the gin spilt down her singlet," and "H.O.P."—YAHOO! Then there are hits from the Medleys of the past few years like, "I Want a Bloody Humerus for Orals," "The Drinking Song," "Sit Down for Piles of Fun," "The Stately Homes of Carlton"—"have lots of girls on tap"—"Thanks for the Mammary," and, of course that song we haven't been able to commission any "sweet young thing" to sing, "The Bustin' Begins." Here's a preview of the last verse: I fell at the Melbourne, Ah, but not completely, He was still panting When I told him sweetly, Don't feel so bad Cos I've been promised by my dad To a rather backward lad Who's a student from Prince Henry's. Home of the Braves Land of the Slaves, Place where the bustin' begins. Every student should buy at least one dozen copies. They cost no more than 4/-, and he can sell them to outside friends for at least 10/-!! Take one to that next party and you and your beer-sodden friends can keep people awake all night with wellorganised harmony. IT'S COMING SOON AND EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A COPY FOR MEDLEYS. There was a young girl from Wantage Of whom the town clerk took advantage, Said the Borough Surveyor You surely must pay her, You've totally altered her frontage. * * A glorious glamorous gigolo Ruptured his tendon of Bigelow; Which altered his stride From a glimmering glide To a rather ridiculous wriggle-o. SPECULUM WATCH FOR IT PRICE 4'AVAILABLE FROM M.S.S. REPRESENTATIVES 67 SPECULUM 68 Tbe *eat of ill epenbabilitp of ethical Probuctz • ANOREX—Appetite Suppresant • B.C.M.—Vitamin and Mineral Tonic • CODIPHEN—Analgesic-Antipyretic • HEPASOL COMPOUND—Reconstructive Tonic • MULTI-B FORTE—Vitamins B-Complex and C • POLYHAEMEN with Liver and Vitamins—Iron Therapy • TUSSINOL with PHOLCODINE—Cough Suppressant G. p. PTY. LTD. 74 MITCHELL ROAD, ALEXANDRIA, N.S.W. 69 SPECULUM M.S.S. CHRONICAL 1958 77th ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING Secretary's Report Last year was one of the best years the society has had for some time, both socially and financially. This year we welcome back as president Prof. Townsend. The Annual Dinner was held on Friday, June 13th, in the Union buffet. Mr. Douglas Donald was the guest speaker, and he enlightened us to the 'Anatomy and Physiology of the Artist's Model'. A new innovation at the dinner was the menu cards and red and white wine was served during the meal. This year the dinner is on Friday, July 3rd, in the Union buffet. Speculum appeared in September, ably edited by Jim Wearing Smith. This copy had a record number of sales and was completely sold out by Christmas. We thank Jim for a terrific edition. This year marks the 75th anniversary of our magazine. Medical Medleys was held on Thursday, December 11th, in the St. Kilda Town Hall, and was called 'Thanks For The Mammary'. This title was in no way connected with the appearance of Sabrina. We wish to thank Eric Cooper and Roger Buckle for what was undoubtedly the 'best Medleys yet'. The old bug-bear of incompetent sound for the stage show was conquered, much to the enjoyment of the 1100 people who attended. The hall decorations aroused much comment, and we must thank Struan Sutherland and Mick Adamson for their design and execution. For the first time at a Medleys Songbooks and Speculum were on sale, this proved a success and will become a regular feature of the ball. A new Songbook is under way and is being compiled and edited by John South. New songs are being added to those already in the book. John hopes to have the book published later in the year. Sport. In football we appeared on the field on a number of occasions and enjoyed the struggles, altho' not always in our favour. We were again table-tennis champions, and the rowing saw us cross the line first. This year we are reviving the practice of an end of First Term Cabaret, this is being held in the Buff. on June 12th, Dennis Farrington's orchestra will supply the music, and dancing will be from 8.30 p.m. to 1 a.m. We would like to make this an annual function again, but this depends on the response. Finally, the Executive Committee would like to offer its sincerest thanks to Professor Ewing, our retiring president, for the interest and time he has devoted to us. He has been a tower of strength to the committee and was responsible for many of the new innovations which made the various functions more enjoyable. We hope he enjoyed his term of office with us and we hope to see him at many more M.S.S. functions. N. SUTHERLAND, (Hon. Sec.) Editor's Note.—It is regretted that the First Term Cabaret had to be cancelled owing to lack of support, and apologise to the six people who reserved places! — ri SPECULUM 70 MEDICAL STUDENTS' SOCIETY Statement of Receipts and Expenditure for MEDICAL MEDLEYS— Income: £1091 0 0 Ticket Sales Expenses: . £30 0 0 Balloons, 1957 7 10 0 Refund, 1957 51 5 0 Balloons, 1958 Stage Properties .. 22 0 0 .. 5 2 0 Decorations 1 5 0 Liquor Licence 45 0 0 Liquor 66 14 6 Printing 30 0 0 Transfer 83 16 6 Hire of Hall 118 8 0 557 5 0 Catering .. 70 0 0 Band 6 19 0 Flowers 21 0 0 Honoraria 1116 5 0 Debit on Medical Medleys MEDICAL DINNER— Income: Ticket Sales Expenses: £74 13 6 Catering 23 0 0 Liquor 4 4 0 Photos Debit on Medical Dinner £25 5 0 £68 0 0 101 17 6 period April 14, 1958, to May 1, 1959 MEDICAL SONG BOOKS AND BADGES £112 19 11 Sales 54 9 10 Expenses Credit on Song Books and Badges 1 NEURO ANATOMY NOTES— £57 13 0 Sales 9 3 6 Expenses Credit on Neuro-Anatomy Notes "SPECULUM"Income: £323 12 7 Advertisements 129 6 0 Sales Graduate Members 23 10 0 47 9 0 Life Members Expenses: Printing Refund Postage Typing Honoraria Banking 48 9 6 523 17 7 £357 16 0 2 10 0 25 6 8 5 5 0 5 5 0 1 7 6 Credit on "Speculum" 397 10 2 £126 7 5 M.S.S. GENERAL— Expenses: Stationery, Printing £34 17 6 Postage, Stamp Duty 5 15 0 . 15 0 Banking 41 7 6 £33 17 6 DEBIT Cash in National Bank, 1/5/59: M.S.S. General A/c. £204 8 0 "Speculum" A/c. 301 3 4 Bank Deposit (1960) 189 0 0 Bank Deposit (1959) 270 0 0 CREDIT Cash in National Bank, 14/4/58: M.S.S. General A/c. £197 18 5 "Speculum" A/c. 174 15 11 Bank deposit (1958) 189 0 0 Bank deposit (1959) 270 0 0 £964 11 £831 14 4 Income: Medical Medleys, '58 £1091 0 0 68 0 0 Medical Dinner, 1958 Song Books, Badges 112 19 11 57 13 0 Neuroanatomy Notes 523 17 7 "Speculum" £58 10 1853 10 £2685 6 4 10 4 Expenses: £1116 5 0 Medical Medleys 101 17 6 Medical Dinner .. 54 9 10 Song Books, Badges 9 3 6 Neuroanatomy Notes 397 10 2 "Speculum" t .. 41 7 6 M.S.S. General 1720 13 6 £2685 4 10 J. WRIGHT-SMITH, Hon. General Treasurer, Medical Students' Society. 71 SPECULUM ANNUAL DINNER JULY 3rd., 1959 Going to Cover Friday, July 3rd, saw 96 happy and wellprimed diners in the lower dining hall of the Union Buff. This number of revellers is the best on record for some years and we hope the number will increase in the following years; judging by the scenes and comments after, we will need a circus tent in the near future. Sherry before the dinner commenced helped many recalcitrant personalities, and helped stabilise new friendships. The diners then sat down to Creme of Asparagus, after which the chairman, our president, proposed the loyal toast. Schnapper Mornay, accompanied by some of Jimmy's best red plonk, followed, and then the main course, Supreme of Chicken Parisienne with vegetables and white plonk (also Jim's). The secretary, Neil Sutherland, then proposed the toast to the staff, to which Prof. Shaw replied, saying that the staff weren't really angels but they did their best; after all, if it wasn't for us, they wouldn't have jobs. After a further period of resuscitation, Pansy delivered the toast to the students, and in the inimitable style we well know, he tempered his warning of becoming subjects to a state, with a few well chosen anecdotes. Bombe Cerises was the final item on the menu, and with a few well chosen hiccups, the treasurer replied to Pansy's address on behalf of the students. Then the long awaited event of the evening, Mr. J. B. Colquhoun, in a rich Scottish brogue, told us of people and places he had encountered in the U.K. and America. This turned out to be a succession of witty stories told in the true dour Scot manner, and with Pansy's repartee, it was one of those talks that stay with you long after the night is over. Jim Wearing Smith pulled himself together long enough to thank our guest of honour, whereupon Pansy saw the light again and delivered an impromptu speech most of us will never forget. Then the stories started, despite some of the weaker sex, and the telling of these, and the many interjections the raconteurs received were enough to make the most moral of us wonder what he had been doing for most of his course. The songbooks were present, and the old favorites were sung with a Breaking Cover SPECULUM 72 Full Cry The Death fervor that did honour to the C. & U.B. and Jimmy's special brand. All too soon did the president raise himself amongst the holocaust and declare the dinner adjourned, and so it was with reluctance that we took ourselves away from the scene of festivity, to other more potent scenes, but with the comforting thought that it is only 364 more days to the next dinner, and Medleys yet to come!! See YOU at the dinner next year. To The Editor to the scheme: nearly seventy of the year assembled, looking little the worse for ten years' wear and tear (so they thought). Professor R. D. Wright responded to the toast of the teachers; it was getting rather late in the evening but we understood him to say that 1958 students were better than 1948. The toast of The New Boys was ably and wittily replied to by Professors Lovell and Ewing. The guest of honour, Professor Norval Morris, responding to the toast of the University, took the opportunity to offer much unsound advice on how to become a world authority (on anything) and how to make money (at anything). Great things may be expected of Professor Morris. There can be no doubt, if only on a basis of the empties (bottles, not bodies), that a highly convivial evening was had by all; many old acquaintances were happily renewed and many stirring events of student days re-lived. A dinner every five years is now planned until such time as the thinning ranks become too depressing. Other "years" have held similar functions and the practice can be highly commended to today's embryo graduates. GRADUATE DINNER Dear Sir, The medical graduates of 1948 held a reunion dinner at Union House on the tenth anniversary of their graduation. The organising committee, G. W. Cooper, J. T. Hueston, J. H. Grant, R. M. Gray, J. J. Murray O'Neill, C. W. E. Wilson, B. H. Gandevia, were delighted at the response CORLAN (hydrocortisone hemisuccinate) PELLETS A NAME TO REMEMBER FOR THE TREATMENT OF APHTHOUS ULCERS Another product of the GLAXO LABORATORIES SPECULUM VONDENBERG At the commencement of the third year of the First World War the Germans discovered they were running short of nitre. Hindenberg issued the following order: "The women of Germany are hereby ordered to preserve their chamber water as it is essential to the fatherland. Waggons with barrels and tanks will call daily to collect same." Signed: Hindenberg. von Hindenberg, von Hindenberg, you are a funny creature, You've given to this awful war a new and funny feature. I always thought a woman's work was keeping home and diddling, But now you've put the pretty dears to patriotic piddling. von Hindenberg, von Hindenberg, where did you get the notion Of sending barrels round the town to gather up the lotion? You've made it plain while every man is bound to be a fighter, The women, bless their little hearts, must save their pee for nitre. von Hindenberg, von Hindenberg, pray do invent a neater And somewhat less immodest way of making your saltpetre. Fraulein fair, with golden hair, with whom we are all smitten, Must join the line and pass the brine to kill the blooming Briton. von Hindenberg, von Hindenberg, we've heard in song and story How women's tears through all the years have sprinkled fields with glory; But ne'er before have women helped their boys in deeds of slaughter, Till German beauties dried their tears and saved their chamber water. No wonder, von, your boys are brave; who wouldn't be a fighter When every time he fired his gun, he fired his sweetheart's nitre? And vice versa, what could make an allied soldier sadder, Than dodging bullets fired from a pretty woman's bladder? We've heard it said an amine smell, still lingers in the powder, And as the smoke 'grows thicker and the voice of battle louder, That there is found in this compound a serious objection— A German cannot have a breath without having an erection. No wonder, von, desertion is so common in your ranks, An Arctic nature's needed to stand such hanky pranks; A German cannot stand the strain, once he's had a smell, He's got to have a girl or bust—the fatherland to Hell! P.A.S. Girls are like newspapers: They have forms, They always have the last word, Back numbers are not in demand, They have a great deal of influence, They are well worth looking over, You can't believe everything they say, They carry the news wherever they go, They are much thinner than they used to be, You have to pay more for a good one, Every man should have one of his own, and not borrow his neighbour's. —"Review", Adelaide. An amoeba named Sam and his brother Were having a drink with each other; in the midst of their quaffing They split their sides laffing, And each of them now is another. * * * A young widgie was perplexed To discover that chickens were 'sexed'. She played chicken one night And got such a fright That now that young chicken expects. * * * Little Maggie full of hopes Read a book by Marie Stopes; Judging by her condition She should have read the revised edition. —Aboriginal Nursery Rhyme. 74 SPECULUM WELL I SUPPOSE TMEY'L,I; START SOMETIME 75 SPECULUM MEDLEY'S '58 . . . And what mammaries! If it's a brina you need to cap off a fine night then you would have had one at last year's medleys. The show, as usual, went on as a dress rehearsal, i.e., for the producers and the cast, but the audience (that's you) gave it a marvellous reception. Why was this Medleys one of the best? Analysing a show after it has been and gone is not profitable, you might say; but where Medleys is concerned it is always profitable. The main factor in this success was the inclusion of that old board-walker and grease paint stick, Roger Buckle, as a producer. Here we saw the master of perfection at work drumming "hard to interpret" lines into "hard to interpret" heads and repeating and repeating, etc., the actions! This year Roger won't be hampered by the other co-producer, and should really turn on a Bergere Folies Grande. We again owe our deepest and sincere thanks to long suffering Treth for amassing an excellent orchestra, at one stage (practically evacuated the Con.) only to have the irate producers pull them trombone from flute until the bare essentials were left, and yet the old maestro pulled through better than ever. The cast of this show was another big help! The nucleus of last year's ('57) show plus Richard the Smallwood and Harold Caplan combined with the one and only, that star of Stage, Screen, Radio and P.V., neilabdulblueeyesandbaldingsutherland. The boys from the Women's (Ron 1 and 2, Rod, Geoff, John, Herb, Col., PeterAnita and Mario) turned on their best act yet and showed commercialism how it should be done. (See Divertissements.) Our women were again as beautiful as ever but still very scared (sorry) scarce. Anne Harrison had so much doubling up she thought her brassier clip was attached to her suspender belt—actually it was. Jan and Lou (the old stalwarts) again held the chorus line together. The final reason why this show showed something was the inclusion of a "new" type of gimmick. "Pichers"—good old Bill spouted off his lines just as if he'd learnt them, and brought the house down. The back stage crew headed by that veteran of stage managers, Jim whose wearing Smith, again surprised everyone and did an excellent job. Let's remember that "Mammary" was one of the best but let's hope that this year's ('59) will be better. Thanks to all of those not mentioned above for their marvellous help. The Aged Theatre Critic. Opening Song: Show's On Tune: "Fleet's In" Hey there, Mister, you'd better watch your sister Cos the show's on, the show's on. Hey there Boozie, you'd better watch your floozie, Cos the show's on, the show's on. If we do as well on the stage As we do in the wards, Well now Professor, You can send us some broads. (To us and we're not kiddin'). Watch her student, if you want to keep her prudent, Cos the show's on, the show's on. We're the guys to lay 'em down in the aisles. They may be dark or fair, We actors don't care, As long as they're wearing a gown, So if you need her, better clothe and feed her Cos the show's in town. If we've got the acts that you like, Throw yourselves on the floor, Clap and cheer and we will give you some more. 76 SPECULUM Madeira She was young, she was pure, she was new, she was nice. She was fair, she was sweet seventeen. He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to vice, He was base, he was bad, he was mean. He had slyly inveigled her up to his flat To view his collection of stamps—all unperforated, And he said as he hastened to put out the cat, The wine, his cigar, and the lamp. °PERITn tie rilEnTREI li Hey there, Buster, be sure that you can trust her, Cos the show's on, the show's on. We're the cast to lead them all astray, They may be hault or blind, We actors don't mind As long as they're wearing a gown. So if you love her, keep her under cover, Cos the show's in town. DOING FINALS ? Then arrange to receive SPECULUM in future years and keep in touch! See your Year Representative Have some Madeira m'dear, you really have nothing to fear, I'm not trying to tempt you, that wouldn't be right, You shouldn't drink spirits at this time of night. Have some Madeira m'dear, it's very much nicer than beer; I don't care for sherry, one cannot drink stout, And port is a wine I can well do without, It's really a case of chaud a son gout, So have some Madeira m'dear. Unaware of the wiles of the snake in the grass, Of the fate of a maiden who toped, She lowered her standards by raising her glass, Her courage, her eyes, and his hopes. She sipped it, she drank it, she drained it, she did, He quietly refilled it again, And he said as he secretly carved one more notch On the butt of his gold-handled cane. Have some Madeira m'dear, I've got a small cask of it here And once it's been opened you know it won't keep, So finish it up, it will help you to sleep. Have some Madeira m'dear, it's really an excellent year; Now if it were gin you'd be wrong to say yes, The evil gin does would be hard to assess, Besides it's inclined to affect me prowess, So have some Madeira m'dear. 77 SPECULUM Then there flashed to mind what her mother had said With an antipenultimate breath, 0 my child, should you look on the wine when it's red Be prepared for a fate worse than death. She let fall her glass with a shrill little cryah, Crash, tinkle, it fell to the floor; When he asked "What in heaven" she made (no reply) Up her mind and dashed for the door. Have some Madeira m'dear, rang out down the hall loud and clear A tremulous cry that was filed with despair As she paused to take breath in the cool midnight air. Have some Madeira m'dear, the words seem to ring in her ear, Until the next morning she woke up in bed, With a smile on her lips and an ache in her head, And a beard in her earhole, that tickled and said— Have some Madeira m'dear.. . —"At the Drop of a Hat". Donald Swann Michael Flanders Parlophone Records. Boy Scouts' Song Be prepared. That's the boy scout's marching song, Be prepared. As thro' life you march along Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well, Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell. Be prepared to hide that pack of cigarettes, Don't make books if you cannot cover bets, Keep that reefer hidden where you're sure That they will not be found. And be careful not to smoke them when the scout master's around For he only will insist that they be shared. Be prepared. Be prepared. That's the boy scout's solemn creed, Be prepared and be clean in word and deed. Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice Unless you get a good percentage of her price. Be prepared and be sure that you do Your good deed when there's someone watching you. When you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind And you come upon a girl scout Who is similarly inclined, Don't be flustered, don't be frightened, don't be scared, Be prepared. Tom Lehr. Finale: Thanks For The Mammary Tune: "Thanks for the Memory" Thanks for the Mammary Of all we've done this year. We've weathered all the storms of life And saved ourselves a lot of strife With bellies full of beer. Yes, thank you so much. Thanks for the Mammary Of all we've had to know, And how we trained the nurses Inside the mortuary hearses, Into giving it a go. Yes, thank you so much. The honoraries taught us quite well, sir, Tho' some may have thought us uncouth. Still we've found a lot we could sell, sir, For a big fat fee to the Melbourne Truth. Yes, thanks for the mammary Of eve to morning crams, When you swotted your anatomy, My boy, now don't you flatter me, The night before exams. Yes, thank you so much. Thanks for the Mammary Of Pansy and of Lance, Of Siddy and the other lads, A pack of simple-minded cads Who've led us such a dance. Yes, thank you so much. SPECULUM 78 We should have known at the start, sir, For what we let ourselves in, But now that it's time we should part, sir, We're bloody glad we did medicine. So thanks for the Mammary Of good old pre-Med. days, No money were we earning, The fun we had when learning All about the 40 ways. We learnt some more Until we saw It's just a passing phase. And thank you so much. * * * DIVERTISSEMENTS: Popular advertisements from the most popular (?) sketch of the evening: "T.V. OR NOT P.V." Tune: "Coca Cola" Song: When at work or at play Any time of the day, You should keep "Charlie Checkers" close by. They're electrically tested and they are the best, So a dozen or two you should try. Chorus: Fifty million times a day For any normal heathy bloke, There's nothing like a "Charlie Checkers" For a decent Tune: "Marlboro" Ad.: You've got a lot to learn from a checker, Thinner, stronger, smooth round top. You've got a lot to learn from a checker, Cheaper, safer, flip top box. The most recent general purpose oral diuretic NaClex (Hydroflumethiazide 50 mg.) Another product of the Glaxo Laboratories c'EanciJm,i While we're on the breast we may as well handle the whole thing. * She didn't have any cerebral signs except her toes went up and she was pretty spastic all over and she had a fit five minutes after we pulled out the lumbar puncture needle. * * * Menstruation is a happy event. * * * The business of getting pregnant is a combined effort—everybody has got to be in it! * * * And then there was the woman who got pregnant under me. * * * You don't often get a husband coming in and saying: "I can't have a baby." * * * Of course, it would happen to me that a female medical student should come up and say she was having labour pains. I just told her that she had a colicky uterus, to which she replied: "Well, I ought to know, sir, because I've had a baby!!" * * * It's amazing what a couple of days inside the vagina will do for you. * * * I had quite an interesting period for 2 to 3 years. —Is this menorrhagia? or piles? * * * Brucey Sch : "Her daughter got married in February this year and she noticed shooting pains in the back passage." Lance: "Had that got anything to do with her daughter getting married?" * * * Ante-natal care should begin right from the jump. 79 SPECULUM YEAR NOTES PRE-MEDICINE In physics Rogers' echoes are no more, His drowsy rumblings soothe not now the ear, P.M.S. no longer holds the floor— These days are gone for Mather now is here. Fond farewells were bade at the end of 1958 to Doctor Rogers who has been at the helm of Pre-Med. physics for 35 years. His place has been taken by sprightly Keith Mather whose experiences in the Antarctic, on top of Everest, and in darkest Africa, always meet with a roar of approval. Doctor O'Donnell lectures in chemistry, and everybody sits enthralled, until Miss Thomas finishes marking the roll and bounces out of the Masson—then it's back to chemistry, ho hum. Mr. Boardman's flashing smile greets us at the commencement of each Zoo. lecture, and one could hardly escape noticing the copious secretion of genetics notes issuing profusely from the portals of the Zoo. school. The atmosphere in lectures seems somewhat subdued—and for no apparent reason, except perhaps a realisation of the fate con- Were it not for that fronted by failing. green thing of Dick Briggs' which, on entry, extracts squeals of delight, the air at the start of the lecture would be positively electric. One of our members wears a Fidel Castro beard, and another wears a crash hat. The others are positively suburban. The weeks fly, and soon we will have to face the dreaded music—until then we sit and pray—and play. FIRST YEAR The year is made up of 161 who passed Pre-Med., 1 doing a combined Sci.-Med. course, 17 repeats (including one girl repeater—Stop it, Jan.) and 2 graduates. Ages range from 18 (10) to 33 (1)—the largest groups being 19 (57), 20 (60), and 21 (25). Sexes: 158 male and 23 female. We have 4 Dip. Pharm., 2 Dip. of App. Chem., 1 B.A. and Dip. of App. Chem., 1 B.Agr.Sc., and 1 B.D.Sc., and even 11 sets of twins. Among the repeats we find a not very fit Graeme B. growing a little fat. Max M. tells us this is something we will have to get SPECULUM 80 Dui used to. Jock C. and Bill D. complain that their prosecting partner, Ray A., A. is consistbusily antly missing from their table, engaged in giving Applied Anatomy tutorials to certain un-named females in a corner. Another repeat, 0.G., seems to be living up to his name. We have a team of winners in Craig Mc. and Robin M., especially as regards the Physio girls. Now to the 1st Year Div. lA's, where we find Fedora T. victorious over last year's rep. Well known gristle-grabber Ted H. when asked to comment from his Hollywood-house after a Chinese dinner given in his honour, said: 'Fedora in tight black sweater and slacks had two points in her favour. These I was unable to beat.' Irene D. has been noticed coming into lectures just on time with Maurie C. We assume Maurie is waiting to introduce Irene to Lee Gordon's Italian brother, Lee Zardo. Our company of barber-surgeons, Graeme B. and Bill D., seem to be littering the locker-room with piles of hair while Jock C. seems obsessed with the idea of piles and piles of dirty brown paper. Jon H., Steve C. and Paul D. have found a new place for the study of Biochemistry—the Mayfair. As regards extra-curricular activities Bill D. appears to have found a new outlet for his talents with Elizabeth A. Rod M. also seems quite happy. We also find that Peter A. is being linked with Christine A. As we go to press we are expecting to announce the engagement of Alex E. and Jenny C. Of course, there is also our pair Mary G. and Ian R. The girls of the year appear quite happy about their annual football match with the Physios—cats and dogs weren't in it. A certain outstanding red-haired professor (let him remain anonymous) told us of the time John Hunter discovered some vessels in the testes. His brother, William, maintained that these were his own! Not a bad year all round, so with a little bit of work and Mary Patterson missing from the streets, we'll see you in Div I. SECOND YEAR The saying for the year, as quoted by Julian (would you mind) M., is: "in your box". Wilfred B. says this means working hard and not going out much because Div. I is a hard year, but George S. disagrees. Contrary to reports by Jane and Joe L. in Farrago George does not sit on a white frothy stool, chair, or desk—his output is still up to scratch. Stiff elbows this year seem to be due to too much swotting and not the usual cause. However, Bob's Thursday Raffle was devised to combat this; Trey S. won it and shot through to the country. Good luck, son. Heard: Hugh (colourful cough) N-J filled the wide screen at J.W.'s—stick to T.V. Hugh, it's only Black and White. Watch out for Danny Z.—Susan is his Fair Lady, if only for a bet. Love must have its way—backways or sideways—ask Su. What is Don waiting for Marle? Daryl P. is on a Shaw thing for Pharmacol. even though it was Liz's free S.R.C. ticket. We notice Rex has not bought a Policeman's helmet for Felicity W-K—that man asks some stupid questions. Dave D. is trying to engineer something and Bob H. and Tom R. are now living together in Carlton. Geoffrey, you will have to get a monocle if you want to win Andy B.—he is an Ex-man. Someone should write an article on the sleeping habits of Med. students for the next edition. Ross (Geelong Road) C. and Charlie (Tin Alley) L. would be learned contributors. Willy R.'s dinner suit looked very fashionable on the Saturday morning after the Alfred Ball. Don McO. could not hang on long enough to collect his four hour volume and John T. thinks the girls should use plastic funnels. Bob R. has boasted of getting caught in a 250m1. flash, but Jock thinks this is a bit tall. Sylvia P. says she has a vital capacity of 5 litres—wouldn't be surprised with those lungs! It must be the run to get to lectures on time! Brian R. starred in inter 'varsity football and it is not advisable to get punchy with Joe M.—he's a judo man, but we think Brian C. could walk over him any day. Warren White is Year Rep. again and seems to know all the answers to Treth's questions. As you can see it has been a quiet year, but wait until after September! To end this slander-ridden literature we hope the vac. .is only for four weeks for everyone and not six months. 81 SPECULUM ROYAL MELBOURNE HOSPITAL THIRD YEAR Having thrown Gray and Starling to the winds, we arrived last November at the R.M.H. student quarters. Some of us haven't progressed much further—with our time quickly taken in playing solo, nurses, and grog. Horrie D. having left friend in Queensland, has taken to living in an hotel. When a certain neurosurgeon returned from his holiday Robin H. had to explain away large numbers of empties. Talking of holidays, what happened at Portsea? Did a camel chase Mal B. or did Mal chase the camel? One ball was unhappy when he received his name-plate with the initials O.B.C. . . Glamour was added to the year in an arrival from Adelaide—hope you are enjoying Melbourne, Rena? Clinics have been enjoyed by all—even Eddie B., who asked a patient how her water was, receiving the reply, "I haven't had the plumbers in yet." Dr. Doyle asked a student, "Who was Medusa," and had the reply, "A French obstetrician." Association with members of the opposite sex has been in full swing. Bob K. has been using the attraction of vintage model cars, while Rex B. uses the power of a 21 litre Riley. We are still wondering why Brian W. has a mattress on the floor of his stationsedan. Eyelids have been fluttering at eligible residents—any success yet, Jan?, while Tom M. tells us Joan is an apt pupil on a motor scooter. Eddie B. has been setting the alarm clock for 3.00 a.m. Congratulations, Eddie, and to Roger K. and also to Roger B., who has still to set a date. Besides sports mentioned above, some of us have become very athletic. In our cricket match against St. V's. we were the victors of the day (130 to 113), while in the football match, St. V's. beat us (7-9 to 7-6), both teams appearing anxious to get to the "niner". Did you hear that the mother of one of our more pleasure-minded students had a headache?—she mistook phenyl mercuric acetate tablets for codeine—Wow! Rex tells us (what is more) they cured her headache. No comment! Finally Roger K. tells us that Webster's dictionary may be a better investment than Payling Wright. Cheers to all, and kill 'em, folks! FOURTH YEAR They say that the best way to avoid a mention in the year notes is to write them yourself—so here goes. Firstly, the list of fellers whose gonads have got the best of them: George F. and Warren K. have 'got themselves' married. Others, not wishing to resort to such traumatic measures, merely became engagedGraeme McK., Paul F., Mike B., and Russ McD. (and they used to be such nice blokes, too). Sorry, Russ McD. went "off" on Aug. 3rd. Engaged also is John B. Sandy—bless his heart, the dear boy— is rapidly establishing himself as an authority on the latest collagen diseases. We are awaiting his monograph on the clinical manifestations of polyarteritis nodosa of the nutrient artery to the os trigonum (Spier's syndrome). A day the anaesthetics' department will long remember: A certain illustrious group of students were administering an anaesthetic. At 10 a.m. sharp the boys (being good trade unionists) were off for morning tea. Ten minutes later, enter Doctor J. to find the patient blue and nobody there to worry much about it. The gents in question were then discovered in a secluded smoke-filled room playing cards and drinking coffee! Many records were broken at Medleys last year. Pete "Have-a-go" Guy holds the record for having broken the most records. Pete is also doing research into the new collagen disease, dysemesis spectaculare (Spier's disease). Another record was broken by Andy Saltups who, despite being still plastered the day after Medleys, insisted upon going on the wardround—he is the first man ever to fall asleep on his feet while in the middle of presenting a case to an honorary! From the psychiatry notes (this actually 82 SPECULUM happened): An old Chinaman presented to a G.P. with signs of intestinal obstruction. The cause—a beer glass impacted in the rectum. (For this the old gent was certified as insane). Doctor Cade's comment: "Obviously a case of bottoms up!" Meanwhile, back-on (with) the pants—or should we say, over in Carlton—a very select 50 per cent. of our stalwarts (along with a few A.H. and P.H.H. sloughs (!) to make up the numbers) were inveigling young maidens (?) up to their flats—refer to Medleys, '58—and we hear tell that one of our young maidens (??) was inveigled elsewhere—many an invective was prompted by inveiglement in certain quarters! Yes, it has certainly been some half year —10 weeks of glorious, hot beach weather at the R.C.H., afternoons of solo, nights of grog and women at Frankston Ortho., etc., and 10 forgotten weeks at R.W.H. Some folks worked at the R.W.H.—good on you Den R., Noel S., Geoff P., and all you other pikers (especially the Faraday street mob), some folks played—good on you MM, and "Tiny" Mearez—and some folks . . . well, just . .. "could have, boy, could have,"— good on you Watto! What ho? It's rumoured that Tiny used to knock before opportunity had a chance—not to forget old "Hamer" A. Eskell takes the "bun out of the oven" with his story about the bat he was P.V-ing in G.O.P. one day: on stimulating a certain region he claims that she started giggling and when asked what measures he took to prevent the situation becoming rather "more than somewhat" embarrassing, he replied, "Why, I giggled too!" No one knows whether or not they ended up in an hysterical heap on the floor. Perhaps the one we all loved most was old "No hormone" (some might queery this) —the pathology department never had need of extra material for their A-Z tests—luckily!—because it wouldn't have been the dorsal lymph saco "what copped it", but the dorsal nymph sacs! Well, everyone, the incidents that could be quoted and the libel that could be written, are limitless, but as this l'il ol' magazine has just gotta go to press sometime we'll wind up by saying, "See ya in finals!" FIFTH YEAR "After me, all repeat. This is a bone called the Humerus." "This is a bone called the Humplunmerus." "No, no, try again, but this time get it clearer. The sooner you get it right the sooner we can progress." The strain—great smouldering balls, of fire; how it tells; how it bounces you around like a baby seagull's bag of marbles in the middle of a maelstrom—where does it end? How does it end? "Be listening next Sunday night when we again present Martin's Coroner, brought to you by your favourite makers of sugar frosted, three minutes only, rectal suppositories." "Now this is the wick and there's the fuse —you can't see where it goes but don't worry—just light the end." 9 o'clock—they'll soon be open. The trouble with Finals is not the answers —any silly gunk knows them—it's the blardy questions that have got us all tricked. As I said to the Professor after he said that we should all pass, "Well, I said, I said well, if you know I'm gonna pass and I know I'm gonna pass, let's tell the other examiners and ask 'em to call the whole thing orf." I mean, it's silly, isn't it, just wasting all that paper and ink, Ha, ha—ha, ha, ha—I mean isn't it—ha, ha, ha, . .. ha. Don't you all agree yo'all, yo' sweet little bunny rabbits, all of yo' ha, ha, ha,—he, ha, aaah? Men outside with green heads, four ears, six arms—ha, ha a a a ha .. hum. You can't frighten me—go away—shoo. Nothing to worry about at all—green men. Ha, ha, aa aa Ha he ho . . . hummm. White jackets and padded walls—seems familiar. They said he was gonna be a good resident, too. Shouldn't believe all you hear, should you, eh, eh, should you eh should .. . There was a new vicar in the village, and discussing the coming Sunday's sermon with the Curate, said, "I think I will take for my sermon this Sunday 'The Widow's Mite'." The Curate, a young man who knew his way around the village, said, "Well, Sir, I don't know that that would be advisable, because I happen to know they DO!" 33 SPECULUM ALFRED HOSPITAL THIRD YEAR Our year at the Alfred seems to have settled in very well (including our three young ladies), if we can judge from the enthusiasm around the solo tables and the occasional visit to ward 23. However, some of this frivolity will probably fade slightly in the ensuing few weeks, as this is all that is left before our Pathology and Bugs exams. We have had a few sporting tussles against other hospitals, all of which have been most successful. We played P.H. in both tennis and cricket, the latter being a picnic day at Wattle Park. This site was chosen due to the fact that it possessed a small metal cylindrical structure just by the boundary, this providing more interest for some than the cricket. One P.H. guy was such an avid watchdog of this monument that he even finished up asleep alongside it! Our team was led very ably by Steinkel who, as well as doing a grand job, also made top score of 50 or so. Both our football matches against R.M.H. were played at Fawkner Park, each team winning one match—being yery dry and thirsty weather, ward 23 was again very popular after the matches. We finished up 1st term with a cocktail party-cum-dance, which we considered to be most successful as there were no serious casualties (later effects such as gastric upsets, severe cerebral irritation, do not come Into this category). We hope to have another ding shortly (perhaps after "our trial" in September), so good luck and au revoir until next year. FOURTH YEAR Following the battle with the Path. and Bugs bods, the eleven Alfred stalwarts emerged triumphant with an exhibition and the Ramsay prize (P.J. in bugs) and more than their share of honours. Paul continued his winning run by taking the Alfred Old Resident's Scholarship with C.H. a close second. A new-corner to our select group is Adele Hanstein who, complete with husband and two children, has migrated to this fair city from the "city of the bridge". The new year found us in two groups making our presence felt at the Children's and the Women's. At this latter establishment P.J. transferred his attention from P.R. to P.V. with alarming enthusiasm. We are still trying to find out what he did with the foetus a certain nurse obtained for him. Fredrica has been knitting babies' clothes —of course they are for Adele's little ones. Harry has recovered from "cat-scratch fever" but apparently it wasn't his face grinning at us out of the Sunbeam after all! Don has been keeping up with it by turning over a Page a few times a week. Who says opportunity never knocks twice? Curly, who thinks there is significance in an infant's first words being "Pee-pee" and "Pot", doesn't believe in closing the gate after his horse has bolted. Paul received the prize for being the most anti-social swot of all time at R.W.H. It's a wonder he didn't develop a hibernoma! Then to add insult to injury he gets top marks in the exam. Clive hasn't given us the drum on his nocturnal meanderings but they must have been really something—you should have seen him next morning!! Cheerio for now, and we'll see us all in finals next year. FIFTH YEAR The group at the Alfred is once more reunited having been split up over the past year—the result is that very few of the events of the past year have reached my ears. The "Matrimonial Stakes" is I.S.Q. The only trend shown has been by Eric—our very best wishes to you and Anna on your engagement. The rest of the boys are still sitting on the fence—developments have been anticipated from Jim and John, and even Ian 84 SPECULUM appears to be progressing. For the rest one rather gives up hope after all this time. Alice hit the headlines with her grand effort in winning the prize for Industrial Medicine, with Isla a close second. Congratulations, girls. We had a minor scare during first term when everyone was suspected of being about to turn yellow, but apart from a universal attack of ECHO we are all now well. The appeal is well under way for Alfred Redevelopment, but most of the boys are working too hard to be of much use. We hope this is goodbye for most of us to this column, and take this opportunity of wishing all our colleagues on the other beats "Good luck". Bob and Harry decided that as they each were to be married on the same day, it would be nice for them to book in at the same honeymoon hotel. The morning after their weddings Bob told Harry that he was going to see a doctor. "What on earth for?" asked Harry. "I'm in a terrible state," quandered the other. "Last night I failed to consummate marriage!" Terror suddenly appeared in Harry's face. "Good Lord," he exclaimed, "I'm going right off to see a psychiatrist!" "Why's that, Harry?" "I clean forgot to!" GROUP II ROYAL WOMEN'S HOSPITAL, 1959 Back Row (L. to R.) — S. L. Yong, P. J. Kornan, P. J. Hinchley, S. K. Sutherland, A. D. McG. Steele, P. A. Jenner, A. P. Yung, C. R. Rumberg, C. Plane, E. Goldberg. Middle Row — I. Rossiter, R. E. Abud, B. M. Schramm, F. B. M. Phillips, T. L. Reed, W. H. G. Warr, N. Sutherland, I. W. Webster, G. R. Pearce, J. T. Lie. Front Row — M. R. MacFarlane, J. Deacon, M. G. James, Prof. S. L. Townsend, A. L. Harrison, C. G. Hocking, B. Wild, L. A. Hughes. Seated — S. Levin, T. Wood, J. A. Wearing Smith, R. G. Robinson, C. R. Abery. Absent — J. S. G. Biggs. 85 SPECULUM ST. VINCENT'S HOSPITAL THIRD YEAR The entry into the clinical world of 39 new students to a North Fitzroy establishment was of momentous importance and did not go unheralded. We soon started off serious work in the shape of solo, billiards and table tennis. Particularly did solo come into ascendancy and it was realised by all what a magnificent galaxy of sportsmen, socialites, stayers, blowers, and scholars were collected around the gaming tables of Princess street. The powers that be love us—yes, we must not wear open-necked shirts, or corduroys, we must sit up straight in lectures, we must not be late for clinics, we must not sign the p.m. roll and then absent ourselves from the p.m. The ward sisters love us—No, you may not see that patient. No, you may not speak to the nurses. Take your hands out of your pockets . . . . The nurses love us, or some of us at least. The patients love us—it does your heart good to see their beaming faces and taut knuckles grip the nearest lethal object and to hear their wail of anguish as we bear down on them armed with the weapons of scientific training. This year was notable for two sporting events—a dry cricket match which we lost and a wet football match which we won. So the moral is—next time we must have two niners as all this activity is thirsty—ahvery thirsty work. Unfortunately the girls did not participate. However we are assured that they specialise on indoor sports like table tennis, Chris Brederkis has had wrestling, etc. some titanic struggles on the table tennis table. Terry Vice and Ann Davey also have "starred" in this arena. Terry informed all that the engagements are "beaut" and has at present received numerous proposals but with no success. Adam and Eve are staunch supporters of the library—it can become so cosy in there on a cold day. At present we are running a sweep on what time Joe Brennan gets up each day. So far no one has guessed the right answer—perhaps nobody knows it. Toni Cook was Ava Gardner's wardrobe mistress during "On The Beach". Her popularity reached an all time high during this period when she used to give a daily report to envious fans Burgess, Murphy, O'Hanlon and Ryan, on the back stage view. Bill Renton Power and Gordon Mathews are notable exponents of that "intellectual game" solo. Mr. Renton Power comes from Queensland and apparently they play cards among other things up there. Gerry Gibney became a father during the year— what a marvellous excuse to miss clinics— however there is a limit to the numbers of times the excuse can be used. Franks, Doyle and Edmonds form a terrible trio— where do they go on Friday afternoons? Dick McArthur usually forms a famous four for solo and other things. John Garland is the "eye man"—"It's amazing what you can see if you look in the right places" and hopes to publish a treatise on "Diseases of the glass eye". Warrick Grebble hopes to be an obstetrician and gynaecologist—says he has great experience and also a fast car. Exponents of the Volkswagon's merits are Casanova Dupuche, Rocky Fink and U Jack Rush, a formidable trio. Yes, Gay, back seats are a great invention. The "old men of the year" are Bernie Rowe and Mike Jaska, who are inseparable and whose paternal advice is much appreciated. John Chew should remember that nurses in the operating theatre are sterile! The title "lover boy" was duly bestowed on Beppo. Perhaps it's the continental influence that makes him so popular or maybe that month he spent in bed enjoying the attention of the nurses and studying their techniques, gave him a better chance to get acquainted. Could anybody drive a "Volks" faster than Dave Phillips perhaps his brother might. Henry L., the man with the name no one can pronounce, is a great exponent of large families and a great opponent of clinicians who ask embarrassing questions. Mickey Ng the man with the shortest but - - - — — 86 SPECULUM hardest name to pronounce—is often mistaken for a doctor of the same name— starred in Cas. as the best suture man of the year. Shannon and Davies both drive over to the hospital, however which one arrives first is always a great gamble—Davies even runs a book on the result. Peter McC., the genius, has amazed everybody even B.B. on how much he knows about sarcoid and other things. Disciples Dewdney, Shockman, Stannish, often hold court in the library from where they pronounce the evils of alcoholism and women. Yes, our livers were cirrhotic after the end of term "ding". Hugh Nial, genius No. 2, is always claiming he is an honorary member of the staff— and it is below his dignity to wear a short white coat—but his claim is always being refuted. U-Jackman Herrin knows all the answers —yes, all of them. Bob Hope claims he will never play football again after the match with the R.M.H.—neither would we if we were as crook as he was. Benjamin is an expert on solo and electronic computers, and reckons that there should be one in the students' quarters to aid him to work on the "prop and cop" combinations. Last of all is Rosie Willis—we can't say too much about her as we would never hear the end of it. Yes, she talks a lot. No, we don't understand what she says. Yes, her symptomatology has us fascinated—when she was asked for the causes of haematemesis—said piles. But she does put on a good "ding". Well, that is the end of the year and probably us after we are served with libel suits. However, Pentridge does allow visitors! Footnote.—The editor regrets that space does not permit both sets of this year's notes to be printed. They were hard to choose between. It is, indeed, inspiring to see an enthusiastic group who submit well thought out contributions voluntarily. MSS COMMITTEE, 1959 President PROF. S. L. TOWNSEND V.R.D., M.D.B.S., F.R.C.S. (Edin .), F.R.A.C.S., F.R.C.O.G., D.T.M. & H. Vice-President J. SOUTH Secretary N. SUTHERLAND Treasurer J. WRIGHT-SMITH Editor of Speculum J. WEARING SMITH Medical Medleys' Production R. BUCKLE Sports Representative C. MORRIS Pre-Clinical Women's Representative MISS L. DONALDSON Clinical Women's Representative MISS J. PEELER Year Representatives: Pre-Medical J. KING Div. IA MISS F. TRINKER Div. I W. WHITE Hospital Representatives: R.M.H. R. SMALLWOOD A.H. R. McLELLAN St.V.H. A. MacLEOD P.H.H. I. WEBSTER S.R.C. Medical Representatives: J. BEST, J. McENCROE, MISS H. WANSBROUGH 87 SPECULUM FOURTH YEAR Fourth year, greatest year of the course and already half completed. Yet, what an immortal half-year it has been! There is much to report, much on which to comment. J.E.B., I.H. and W.C.G. fell headlong into the tender trap. We extend our condolences to them. Even at this late juncture we extend our heartiest welcome to Anne 0., who has joined us from the "Sunshine State". Sprog has taken to the "Hansom Cab" as a means of entertainment and any Friday evening can be seen cavorting in that vehicle around town. Joe B., living a hand-to-mouth existence is the wonder of us all. Joe—responsible for more monster acts than most of us put together—claimed at the beginning of the year that he has "reformed"! L.J.—the gambler—states categorically that he will play solo or "slippery" anytime, anywhere and with anyone. Unhappily this is expensive. Ask L.J.! Tubby — one of our "Jack-men"—our hope in the finals, mixes work and play both day and night. Our other "Jack-man", Radium Jack, skinny, long, lean and mean—by these names shall you know him—managed to sandwich an Honoraries' clinical meeting for "Jack-men" only between the Hay and Wagga picnics. J.G.—king of the "St. V.'s underworld" —has cultivated interest in photography and radio-therapy—a sinister motive? We leave it to you. P.V. and A.A.—our geisha-knocking, sake-drinking, opium-smoking, fantan-pla ,ring, fiendish orientals—contributed much to our enjoyment of this year. George M., seeking yet another outlet for his talents has taken, we hear, to the stage. This fact, we are given to understand, will in due course be circularised in the Nurses' Home. G.J.S., we are told, spent the long vacation doing his bit toward getting the Geelong and Warrnambool Hospitals back on their feet. During the May vacation he performed a similar task at the Bendigo Hospital. At the end of last year we were all most upset that we were not invited to Val's "Going-Away" party. We have since excused her on the grounds that she didn't leave us! We would dearly like to write more but the mumblings of "propping" and "copping" in the vicinity are relentlessly drawing us back to the game . . . . FIFTH YEAR "The dignity of truth is lost with much protesting" says a well-known 16th century scribe, and it is assumed that the SAINTS face up to 1959 finals with the exhibitions, prizes and monies generally accounted for. Since 1958 a great metamorphosis has occurred. The former merry men of 5th year 1958 have dismissed their frivolous golfing, drinking and social pursuits in return for the serious, gaunt-eyed, shop-talking climate of final year. This being so, little is to be said about extra-curricular activities except to mention, in passing, the astronomical feats of beer-drinking by a certain Faraday street group at the Women's. Tom and his wife are to be congratulated on the birth of their baby daughter who, following the great tradition, was born POP, or in other words, "with her head on backto-front". Social news includes the engagements of Anne, still the most popular girl in the year (ref. Speculum '57, '58), and also of Barry. Best wishes to both of you and your fiances. In the "man-bites-dog" section it has become apparent that a certain vernacular and idiom has crept into our language. Our report would not be complete if such popular terms as the penthouse, little Sin Echo, the Producer of Exquisite Tenderness, and Jackmen were omitted. Jackmen has had an unrivalled place of importance and it would seem that it alludes to transgression of that great student precept—"don't-lookas-though-you-are-working-hard-even-if-you are." Current questions: Why is Frank always tired? Where does Brodes disappear to? In conclusion and in all seriousness, we extend thanks to all our honoraries, lecturers and tutors for their unselfish help, and finally, grudging best wishes to our fellow candidates from the lesser hospitals! 88 SPECULUM PRINCE HENRY'S HOSPITAL sword" says he. His verse describing the THIRD YEAR cricket match is published at the end of After surviving Panz, Treth, and the rest of the preclinical years, 23 of us finally entered the honoured portals of P.H. eager to spend our time between Flo's Fluzies (21 of us) and solo (all of us). We spent the first two weeks finding our way to the 11th floor—but then had to reorganise ourselves in the basement. Our first P.M. was almost a shambles when Dave B. almost collapsed into the middle of it. The new wing was opened earlier this year—a real highlight being the guys arranging dates with nurses in the "Guard of Honour" (they couldn't move away to refuse!) The cricket match against fellow students at the Alfred proved to be a roaring shemozzle where more glasses of the amber liquid were drunk than runs scored. Which side won? It is claimed that the Alfred won — but by the time a decision was about to be reached nobody could count, nobody could umpire (least of all Comrade Jagoda of the Alfred!); in fact, nobody cared. There were plenty of supporters to cheer the players and abuse the umpires. Dr. Trethewie honoured the assembled multitude with his distinguished presence and also proved to be a judicious umpire for a while. The admiral performed extremely well at this affair—even though it is said that he endeavoured to entice one of the fairer sex into the trees during lunch. Hero of the day was Graeme H., both as bowler and batsman. Maurie K. kept wickets and even though he suffered extensive lacerations to the skull he still loves us all madly. John H. skippered the team—a dubious honour? John B. officiated as barman and his efficiency decreased exponentially. He still suffers from G.I.T. symptoms. Shaw R. was unavailable because of a "slipped disc"—said he did it lifting weights—but we wonder? Barry B. opened the bowling, slightly erratically but we feel sure he was out with Denise the night before. John H. has forsaken the stethoscope for the poet's pen—"pen is mightier than the these notes. A "gasser", even if the characters described were unduly maligned. Legal action pending? Most of the fellows in the year have become quite adept at solo. Now it is being realised that the game is all luck the more intelligent chaps are turning to a game of skill. Everybody seems to be winning, especially Maggie her just deserts for having done a good job coaching us over the pharmacy hurdle. Judy was most unfortunate to fracture the distal phalanx of her percussion finger—not so bad though as it also excludes her from prostatic palpation. Heard at P.M.: Miss Mac: "The prostate and its adnexa aren't important." Pathologist: "You mightn't think so." Congratulations to Bhagat on his recent election to the "Black Act Society" for his magnificent display at the P.H. Ball. Other notables among our illustrious crew are: Bob C. always going solo. Max H. has been receiving mysterious letters from a certain nurse. "Herk" G. plays solo and billiards (both varieties). Paul G. a nice guy, but we're sure he has calcification of the aortic knuckle. Bill C. former dentist, army captain, daddy of us all, and sometime honours man in pathology. Jack W. slept a night at the Gill Memorial (to broaden his narrow mind)—it is said that he returned with a pocketful of "tray bits". Only has to go for an early morning swim at St. Kilda to win a bet with a certain distinguished surgeon. Henry M. would buy the hospital if we offered it for sale. Peter W. uses the long curved stick on Saturdays. Heard at an afternoon clinic recently: Dr. R.F.S.: "Have you been passing any dark urine—the color of tea without milk?" Patient: "No doctor, I always have milk in my tea!" — — — — — — — — — ai 4( s 89 SPECULUM A bit corny perhaps, so what about this: Same Honorary: "Where abouts do you have your headaches?" Patient: "In me head, doctor?" Ugh!! Many thanks to Dr. Funder, Dr. Drake and Mr. Davidson for their generous tutorial assistance. Finally one "gasser"— Miss M. R. (to patient in Surg. 0.P.): "What has been the trouble?" Patient: "Well, the old fellow's been very sore lately. It's been discharging, but my wife dresses it for me every day." Miss M. R.: "Perhaps we could have a look at it." Patient exposes his injury. Miss M. R.: "Oh, it's your leg, is it?" And here's the poem: SOUTH OF TOWN Tune: Little Angeline South of town if you care to come down You'll find the best two hospitals in Melbourne town, At the Chevron they meet for a beer each week, They're Prince Henry's and the Alfred. A cricket match they arranged to play The Wednesday after pharmacy was set as the day, Wattle Park was set as the ground to get When Prince Henry's played the Alfred. P.H. won the spin, sent the Alfred in Both teams had set their hearts on winning "The Bin." After drinks all round the players entered the ground When Prince Henry's played the Alfred. Well P.H. bowled quick, but Steinkel was too slick, He hit the bowlers' balls with his big long stick; There came a great roar, he was out for 54, When Prince Henry's played the Alfred. The battle was on between these two great sides, When Jack had an over the silly blighter bowled wides; The reason was clear he'd had too much beer When Prince Henry's played the Alfred. As the last wicket fell there came a great yell That the niner of beer was as empty as hell, So we got another keg, those boys could drink until they're dead When Prince Henry's played the Alfred. The admiral was there, but he didn't care, He's the guy who's got no hair; After draining his glass he flaked out on the grass When Prince Henry's played the Alfred. Oh Treth, oh Treth, you are beyond compare, As a cricket umpire you were the fairest there; You did a great job but you drank all the grog When Prince Henry's played the Alfred. We continued to play in this merry old way And we were all quite blind by the end of the day, But one thing's for sure, there will have to be more Of Prince Henry's playing the Alfred. FOURTH YEAR This is it, the year in which most of us fulfill our wildest dreams of debauchery, hard work and anything else that's been cropping up since we started this life of slavery. Why pick this year?—it'; the year of the kids, no exams, and, THE WOMEN'S! In two separate groups we went to the Children's and the Women's hospitals, and the tales we've been hearing about some You don't really people—well, really!! know the people you work with until you've had to live with them under the same roof for ten weeks. Firstly, our congratulations to Johnny Wolstenholme who is half-way to becoming a respectable man. We had our fear for Trev. Wood a couple of times at the Women's—I think Trev. had a few worries, too. There were quite a few of the Women's staff with tinnitus after Trev's operations— more women passed thro' his room than a certain powder room on the second floor. Congrats. to Hap Webster for plunging half-way towards marriage also. 90 SPECULUM Starchy's broom cupboard was usually a sight for sore eyes, so was Starchy. (It's not a holiday camp, you know!) Rachael took her night shadowing so seriously she followed Peter McIsaac into the men's one night, —wistful thinking? Quote Beryl at a case presentation: "A green label on an obstets. history means the patient is infertile!" Col Abery got tangled up with some Queenslander, but good old Bugle Steele remained faithful to the Wells Street tribe, —trips on the Murray! Hap Webster is still the main source of revenue to the driveins, but Tom Springer reckons it's a waste of time and one may as well stay at home— you still pay to see nothing. Bryce is still seen lurking around the tunnel, and Dave probably has the big one. Jennifer caught the right spirit on a couple of occasions, but all Starchy's overtures were useless—we think. Tony Bothroyd is still playing (golf), and we hear Ian Rossiter and Brucey had some very seamy sherry parties after midnight around in Faraday Street. Mick Jonas' episiotomies were more like Manchester Repairs by the time he'd finished— apparently New Australian fathers are still HEAR YE, HEAR YE Graduates and Students All M.S.S. Members PAST ISSUES OF SPECULUM stalking around the hospital with a gun in their hand looking for him. Marie James had the whole thing sewn up, even gave the labour ward sisters some tutes. Graeme McKinnon got his "Spinge" confused with "Respire" and caught "it" about two feet above the bucket. The fourth stage of labour, in case you haven't heard, is the washing up after. And so we plod on, the big year is coming up, so is Christmas, and Cynth and Mal are just as thick as ever. Heads down, lads; see you next year, and up the thea(r)tre, Starchy dahling! FIFTH YEAR We started off the final lap in grand style. Every final year student (almost) "threw" himself into his work with great zeal. There wasn't even time to eat lunch as we crammed ourselves full of knowledge. However, it was not to last, and under the influence of the third year students most of us returned to the solo school, and the work has been piling up ever since. Joe and Hymie have recommenced their squabble—it seems that those two just can't get on. We must welcome Harry Blackmore, who has returned from the "dead" after a threeyear let-off. Congratulations to Maurie on getting caught. They tell me Fat John has them in a vice-like grip and that Hymie has gone "sex-crazy". The wonderful organisation of the Hospital seems to have mislaid our certificate books—let's hope they find them before next year. In all sincerity, many thanks to the clinical school and honoraries for their efforts. Good luck to all—here's hoping that life in the residents' quarters isn't too strenuous! urgently required by the MEDICAL LIBRARY In particular, Nos. 145, 147. 151 for purpose of completing records There was a young fellow called Blue Who had an affair with a ewe, He thought the result Was rather occult When the wretched thing started to moo. "Orion." * * A surgeon is one with no faith in nature's capacity to heal before the operation, and infinite faith in it afterwards. SPECULUM 91 spicula One of the clinicians has complained that his students are not gripping their fundamentals. * * * An innocent girl told us she was practising squash, as a man was trying to get up a women's team. * * * The penis mightier than the sword. * * * Then there was the patient who on receiving an enema called the nurse a stool Pigeon. * Confucius say: Girl who sit on anaesthetist's knee get Hotten. * * * Operation list: Excision, glans in neck. * * * Gray's Anatomy: "The tip of the sternum is often broken off in later age by workmen with their tools." * * * Many a girl who tries to earn a living on the square has to dodge the policeman on his round. Hell hath no fury like a woman spermed! * * * One of the Div. II girls thought that the Dick Test was a W.R. * * * Advertisement in Tel Aviv Times: Wanted, State Circumciser. Wages, one dollar and tips. * * * Pharmacology lecturer: "Put your organ in a bath .. •" Braggard. * * * Hospital admission sheet: Girl, 13. Banjo string in urethra. Doubtless a G-string. * * One of the R.M.H. boys (we're not saying who) calls his bed the Mayflower because many a puritan has come across in it. * * * Newspaper headline: U.S. Rubber Controls Go. —Immigration too slow? 92 SPECULUM There is apparently above a certain labour ward in Sydney the words "Primat non nocere" (first do no harm). However, it has been pointed out that other possible translations include: "No harm is just once." Birdsville Mail: "The ceremony was consummated in the vestry before the happy couple left the church." * * * What is the difference between a vegetarian and a virgin? A vegetarian is trying to diet. * * * Dr. G.: "Chronic gonococcal salpingitis: this is the result of—unselfishness, I suppose. Sterility is assured." * * * Path Notes: ". . . increasing tortuosity of the glans in the endometrium . . ." * * * Dr. G.: "In extopic pregnancies in the ovary the ovum is attracted by chemotaxis rather than good looks!" * * * The drug companies have a new one: SEXIDRINE: Stops your back from pegging out and your peg from backing out. * * * Lecturer in Parisitology: "First get a piece of faeces on the end of your stick . . ." * * * Ancient Egyptian Burial: The body was raped in rage and made a mummy. * * * And then there was the chap who when accused of consorting with Pygmies said he was just doing it for a little bit. Did you know that the mink get their young the same way that the young get their mink? * * * Confucius say: "Woman with psuedo-pregnancy labouring under misconception." * * * is Advice: Don't let your glands Make too many demands. * Dear old soul in Cas.: "I have the most horrible septic system in my throat, doctor." * * * "Good night," she purred. "It was fun `noing' you." * * * The young man came in complaining of urethralgia. When asked if he had a discharge he replied: "No, I haven't been in the Army yet." * * * A.H's. History: "Patient admitted passing clots P.V. with doctor's letter." * * * Charlie F.: "We must think of haemolytic Streptococcus A in regard to Semmelweiss who died of a puerperal infection." * * * Chas. again: "A flushed young woman in good general condition—that is, she's not flat—er, I mean . . ." A JEYES' PRODUCT CYLLIN GERMICIDE 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) Manufactured by FEDERAL High Rideal Walker Co-Efficient. Perfectly Compatible with Soap. Stable in the presence of organic matter. A variant, "WHITE CYLLIN," is miscible with water and hard water. Invaluable as hospital disinfectants. sea CHEMICALS PTY. LTD., ABBOTSFORD, VIC. Ott•004:400: 00:«1».”:4»:»«)•»:•:»••:«•:»40•:«000:4:0•««••:»4•.1•4»:**,1•0:«4•.:0•:•»».••»••.:4•«•*•.):••:04.4•0000 00 SPECULUM Doctor: The trouble with Mrs. B. is that she cannot stand up to married life. Social Worker: May I suggest that Mrs. B.'s real trouble is that she cannot lie down to it. * * * "Are you medical or surgical?" "What do you mean?" "Were you ill when you came into the ward, or did the beggars make you ill?" * Herald Headline, Nov., 1958: "Labour want change to P.R. voting." * Reported from Sydney: Female Physics Lecturer: "That finishes mechanics. Next lecture I'll be on heat." * * * VERSE FOR A NURSE A Staff Nurse Stopped suffering from the curse, So she did a Change to Midder. Another version: My dear! Amenorrhoea I fear. Surgical evacuation Will re-establish menstruation. * Clinician: "At this juncture it is not within the capacity of the recipient of therapy, whose condition is now ameliorating, to tolerate a recumbent posture." Student: "You mean 'e can't lie down!" * * * Sun, 13/4/58: STAGE CRASH-100 HURT. —Some comedians take things a bit too far. * * * Can't vouch for this, but there is: A sign outside the Boston Maternity Hospital which reads: "Airport." 93 "So the doctor wouldn't give a certificate for your late husband?" "No, he says they want to hold a postpartem examination on him." * * * An American judge who was recently asked to ban a book, announced that it was not obscene. The author is expected to appeal. * * * Heard of the latest about the Stone-Age contraceptive? Rock Around the Cock. * * * A Frenchman talking to an Englishman gave forth the following: "I cannot understand it at all—ze pronunciation, look, you call melanoma m-e-l-a-n-o-m-a, but zen I heard a doctor pronounce it fatal." * * * Hon.: Now what is the dose of Cascara Sag? Stu.: Half an ounce, sir. Hon.: Good heavens, you'll kill the patient. Stu.: No, sir, I took it myself last week. Hon.: Oh, yes, and what happened? Stu.: Only one stool, sir, lasted 24 days. * * * I'd like some powder, please. Yes, ma'am; face, gun or bug? * * * Here about the bloke who banged a dog while on his motor scooter? * * Quotable Quote—Nurses' Examination: The expectation of life today is much better than when doctors had no glands. * * * "Why was the bull sweating?" "He was in a tight Jersey." * * * Professor (in lecture): "The Aedes is a civilised mosquito. It only breeds in manmade pools." * * * The policeman from Pakenham Junction Whose little affair wouldn't function, Spent years of his life In deceiving his wife By intelligent use of his truncheon. SPECULUM 94 16 ALWAYS urimAi.olv 4 66,444At- i*k- `1°,,wTVA4 . . . A Veleig r . . . and the wide variety of flavours — there's Vanilla, Strawberry, Chocolate and Neapolitan! There's a large helping for every member of the family, too; better take a Peters Family Brick home today! ICE CREAM .7!e .71ea&A .7ood 0-# a itztz'oni Larcher's Safe Milk LARCHER'S Milk is treated by the most hygienic methods, which include pasteurising and bottling for safety. Always insist on Larcher's Pasteurised, Bottled Milk. H. LARCHER & SON (Fitzroy) 45 MOOR STREET, FITZROY ESTABLISHED OVER 50 YEARS Telephones: JA2197, JA2198 /* FAMILY BRICK! Watch those eyes light up when there's a Peters Ice Cream Family Brick for dessert at your place ! Everybody loves the rich wholesome goodness of a Peters Family Brick PoteTg r 6A11 6/6 95 SPECULUM Ad. on 3DB: "Quickest tonic for the blues: nine-pence worth of English Woman 71 This sounds most reasonable—almost a "blue heaven". * * * Bung H.: "Because of chemotherapy it's got to be a good man to get the gonnococous these days." A good man, yes—but a bad woman! * * * Mr. C-q-n at R.C.H.: "One would almost say that bow legs was a case of 'on pleasure bent'." * * * It has been said that an intersection is like a roll of toilet paper because when the motion ceases you tear across the dotted line. * * * Bugs Notes: Brucella abortis — BANG strain. * A good golfer never retires—he just loses his balls. * Dr. G.: There is no glans on the vaginal portion of the cervix. * * * Dr. McKay: What can you tell us about the incidence of prolapse of the cord, Mr. Sutherland. Abdul: It's found more commonly in Mediterranean people, sir! * "They come down the aisle with the organ swelling." * * * Bill W. (A.H.) has to take himself in hand every time he walks into his room! * * * Eskell: . .. she was a pale, young-looking woman in moderate spirits. * * * Starchy: "What are the five main causes of an enlarged uterus?—Well, just one?" floppy J. (sterility lecture): Australasian Post, 19/2/59: The CURSE is on Belinda. —They are getting a bit personal these days. Notice in R.C.H. Nurses' Home: Student Nurses' Association Meeting Monday, 23rd March Guest: Matron de N(ai)eve, speaking on her experiences in India. ALL WELCOME * Confucius say: "Two Wongs can't make a white. It must be occidental." * What a salesman! He talked his girl into buying a new dress and then he talked her out of it. * * * Overheard in ante-natal clinic at R.W.H.: "Could the mass in this woman's abdomen be a red herring?" Sounds a bit fishy to us! * * * PROGRESS: 1st Trimester: Excitation, euphoria, and a tendency to lose touch with reality. 2nd Trimester: Inability to realise seriousness of condition. 3rd Trimester: Alternating constipation and diarrhoea .. . * * * From "Review" (Adelaide) Staff List: Reproduction Manager: Miss J. Rush. * Newspaper cutting: PRIMATE ON ATOM BOMB 96 SPECULUM He was getting on fine—until he took a turn for the nurse. * * * "It's 'is ear, doctor, 'e's 'ad it off and on since he was born." * * * Did you hear about the woman with spoonerism who went into a grocer's shop and asked for a grip of Tarzan's tube, the stick that stuffs anything. * One way to stop the stork arriving—shoot it in the air. * * * They were examining a young woman of questionable appearance who had a secondary syphilitic rash. "What diagnosis would you make in this case?" asked the Hon. Dermatologist. "Occupational dermatitis, sir," was the reply. * * * Overheard the other day around the table at a children's party: What does your father do? He's a doctor. My dad's a solicitor. My pop's a doctor, too. My old man works! COMPLAN The complete planned food • Quickly prepared • Easily digested • Contains all the essential vitaruins and minerals in addition to balanced proportions of protein, carbohydrat and fat. A GLAXO PRODUCT Did you hear about the vice-admiral's vice? The rear-admiral's rear. * * * Then there were the two queers who had a backward child. Notice in King Street: POWER DRIVEN TOOLS. Reminds us of the Engineer's story. * * From R.M.H.: Hon.: "How would you administer a local anaesthetic for the prostate?" Stu.: "Inject, then push further up not withdrawing the needle." Hon.: "Why wouldn't you re-inject?" Stu.: "I would only want to give the patient one painful prick." * * * Herald Headline, 23/8/58: ". . . SPOOF WAS GOOD FUN." * * * It was reported in the press recently that tram conductresses were not satisfied and would demand shorter periods, longer routes and be allowed to put the pole up themselves. * * * Hula dancer—a snake in grass. * From the front page of The Lancet of some years ago: "Our book of the month— Contraceptive Technique—A Handbook for Senior Students." * * * From a woman's magazine: "James Mason does not approve of makeup in his parts." h t 97 SPECULUM Seventeen-year-old patient: "Doctor, I have a rheumatic heart with a mitral diastolic murmur." * * * She was only a farmer's daughter, but she couldn't keep her calves together. * * Doctor: "Any thrills?" Patient: "No, I don't go out with boys." * * * Waiting room at the Post-natal clinic: "Congratulations on your triplets, dear!" "Thanks, love. Doctor says it only happens once in 50,000 times." "Lor! When do you find time to do the housework?" * * For once the doctor was on the receiving end of a proctoscope. After standing the procedure as long as he could he remarked: "I think you have gone far enough—I have a metallic taste in my mouth." * * * Dr. M.: Condylomata are common around the external genitalia—especially the anus." —Queer bods they let lecture these days. * * * "The young man was Press report: astounded to find himself facing an angry parent instead of the sweet young thing he had expected to meat." * * Herald: Senator wants sit-down of women probed. * * * His loves, his hates, his hopes, his tears that fell, The joys of heaven, the bitter pains of hell; His smiles, his signs, the whole preposterous issue— A gland or so and some erectile tissue. —Middlesex Hosp. Journal. * * * He who goes not and knows that he goes not, has retention. He who goes and knows not that he goes, is comatose. He who goes not and knows not that he goes not, is B.N.D. from anuria. * * * The earliest gynaecologists, judging from their writings, were in their leisure moments poets and romantics of no mean order. One is almost tempted to suspect that the Poets of their time were, in their leisure moments, no mean gynaecologists. Gynaecologist, talking about dysmenorrhoea: "Bathing and swimming have no harmful effect during menstruation as nothing ever goes up the vagina." * * * Headline: "Four die in manhole." —It serves them right. * * * Then there was the dwarf who married— someone put him up to it. * * * Hear of the curate who never got married because his stipend was too small? * Student looking at X-ray: "The cavity seems to be well circumcised." * * * Nurse's Exam Paper: "The perineum is on the outside of the stomach." * * * Surgeon (speaking of maggots in surgery): "How would you sterilize maggots?" Student: "Remove their ovaries, sir?" * * * From a history: "Malaena stools, worse on walking." * * * Ambulance driver's exam. paper: "There are three sorts of bleeding—arterial, capillary and venereal." 98 SPECULUM There's many a girl today who would agree that emotional drive is a motor phenomenon. * * * "You should see my new girl. She's as beautiful as a mirage." "That's the wrong simile. A mirage is something you can see but can't get your hands on." "That's my girl." * * * Quote from a lecture: "Steel for naval purposes is made by Sieman's process." * * * And then there was the woman who named her children, Innocence, Accidence and Negligence. * * * Film posters seen in the city: "MOTHER DIDN'T TELL ME." "AND BABY MAKES THREE." Stu.: "Is it possible to have intercourse with a pessary?" Hon. Obstetrician (inspecting same): "I should think not." "IRON MISTRESS." "NIGHT WITHOUT SLEEP." * * * Did you hear about the cautious surgeon who built his house on piles? Also: The statistician whose wife had twins; he baptised one and kept the other as a control. * * * Heard in lecture: "Now this experiment can be finished in one day if you don't congregate in groups and talk about the weather." Remark from front bench: "Whether she will or whether she won't!" Midnight Edition: THE WEAK END Net Sales: 2 Copies per Anus. As finals approach, R.Q. says he likes his women weakly. * * * Stu.: "How often do you get up at night?" Senex (testily): "Let me ask you that when you're 70, sonny!" * * * S.F.A. stands for saturated fatty acid. * * * Forensic lecture: "A man who hides a dead woman's body is guilty of frustrating the Coroner." * * * Letter to the Editor: Mr. or Mrs. Confucius of no fixed commode, writes: He who burns candle both ends will soon be spending all his nights in the dark. * It should be pointed out that some women miss everything and the rest drive cars. One 3rd year girl is slowly learning—she now knows the difference between fraternity and maternity. Broadcast of a scene from the Melbourne Cup: The jockey is now being introduced to the mayoress. * * * Demonstrator in clinical pathology: "After the practical period, put your stools under the bench." * * * Med. student (explaining to his friend how it is done in the front seat of a car with a floor gear change): "Put the stick in third." Puzzled friend: "What do you put in first and second?" 99 SPECULUM She was only a bootmaker's daughter but she knew how to make a naughty last. * * * We hear tell that a famous penist's latest T.V. show is called, "Have Bum, Will Travel." * Then there was the iceman's daughter who gave all the men icey-poles. * * * Advertisement in "THE SUN": WHEN THE KNOCK COMES (and it could be tomorrow) will you have your P.V. LICENCE? If not, you risk a heavy fine! The same bloke's get a new car; the door doesn't bang but the chauffeur does! TRETH: ". . . then micturate for 20 minutes . . . sorry; I mean at 20 minute intervals." * * * TRETH again: ". . . the Anglo-Saxons' only contribution to hygiene was the dunny." * * * RED (on double optic foramina): ". . . so keep an eye out when dissecting the orbit." * * * One R.M.H. student's treatment for trigeminal neuralgia: Inject the Neisserian ganglion. * Lines to be hummed from the supine position, To the hummer's osteopathic physician: For him who botches That delicate neck trick, There waits, my friend, The fauteuil electric. —Ogden Nash. From the nurses' examinations: "There are four symptoms of a cold. Two I forget and the other two are too well known to mention." "Hypnotism is now used for producing Some mothers recommend it children. from experience." Dentist's Epitaph: Stranger, approach these bones with gravity, Doc. Brown is filling his last cavity. B. Serf—"Reflex". * Dr. H-y-s (in lecture) on inheritance: "What are my chances of doing as my mother did?" * * Rod B. (R.M.H—after at least three minutes of rectal examination): "It doesn't hurt, does it?" Patient: "Cripes, I didn't even know you were in!" Treth: "Banting had an unfortunate end." Treth again: "Churchill is in his second youth." It was a neat, modern villa with a spacious porch off the kitchen. Girl: "Would you rather play in the dining room or the lounge?" Boy: "Neither, thanks—I would prefer the vestibule!" She had a figure like an old bag. bulged in places, but didn't give. It * Infant Feeding: "Aldrich states: 'The rooting reflex is the first one to come into play'." SPECULUM 100 "Sayings of the Great" from King's College Hospital Gazette: 1. Lady B rt: "If you come across a woman thirty-eight weeks pregnant who is not engaged, you must think something is wrong." — 2. Mr. F r z: "Unless you are careful you will lose your breeches." * * * 3. Dr. D nn ss H 11: "He applied to the Home Secretary for castration but the Home Secretary was in no position to operate." * * * 4. Pr-f-ss-r M-gn-s: "Neurologists always have syphilis very much in their minds." * * * 5. A. J. Yates Bell (filling out a psychology questionnaire): "I was a primip." * * * 6. Overheard in Antenatal Clinic: "But I thought homozygais men never married." * * * 7. Dr. C tf rth: "Death is a prolonged Stokes-Adams attack." * * 8. Dr. C tf rth: "If you take out six or seven yards of gut and join the oesophagus to the rectum, you would probably get diarrhoea." * * * - - - - - - - - - 9. Dr. McD n ld: "This woman was having delusions; she thought all the doctors were being secretive." * * * 10. Dr. T Ib t (refulminating pneumonia): and in these cases death is irreversible." * * * There was a young man from Lancashire Who swallowed two blades of grass; One grew out from his ear-hole The other grew out from his nose. - - - - . "Don't worry," says the sly physician, "It's just a cardiac condition." The patient isn't fooled—she's smart, And talks about her cardiac heart. OVER THE HILL It's not the grey hairs that make a man old, Or the far-away look in his eyes, I am told; But when the mind makes a contact the body can't fill— Then, you're over the hill, brother, you're over the hill! You may fool the young wife with the cleverest of lies, You can shear the young lamb and pull wool o'er its eyes; But if she calls for an encore and you say you are ill— Then, you're over the hill, brother, you're over the hill! When you gaze on a Venus and just heave a sigh, When you hear a weak joke and laugh till you die; When it's all in your head and you've lost all the thrill, Then, you're over the hill, brother, you're over the hill! Life is a conflict, the battle is keen, There's so many shots in the old magazine; When you've lost the last shell and just can't refill, Then, you're over the hill, brother, you're over the hill! Salvage the engine, old boy, if you can, For testosterone can't help a man; You can't make a man from a little pink pill If you're over the hill, brother, you're over the hill! This is my story, alas and alack, When you've drained the bottle you can't put it back; If you want to make whoopee, don't wait until You're over the hill, brother, you're over the hill! P.A.S. . . . the ambulatory factor in elastic adhesive compression treatment of leg ulcers A successful end-result depends on efficient and comfortable bandaging of the limb, and also on ambulation. Natural use of the legs prevents recurrence of oedema and prepares the tissues for normal healing. Elastoplast porous adhesive elastic bandages provide the greatest degree of comfort possible with compression therapy; at the same time adequate porosity permits free evaporation of sweat. The adhesive is not spread to the edges of the bandage. This means that the bandage will not ruck and make ridges to irritate the skin. The fluffy edges of Elastoplast bandages prevent trauma to devitalised skin when under compression. Elastoplast ELASTIC ADHESIVE BANDAGES (Porous) B.P.C. AVAILABLE FROM . . . C.H.A. AND SURGICAL HOUSES THROUGHOUT AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND Illustrated and descriptive literature may be obtained upon request from Smith & Nephew (ALA.) Pty. Ltd., P.O. Box 342, Broadway, Sydney, or the distributors, PISA edical Services To the Student University and Medical Text Books Surgical Instruments and Diagnostic Apparatus To the Doctor Locum Tenens and Assistants Provided Practices Transferred Partnerships Arranged Allan Grant 54 COLLINS filiebtcat Zgent STREET, MELBOURNE, C.1 (Near Exhibition Street) Phone: MF 4171 (After Hours, WY 2992) Telegrams & Cables: "Allgra." Melbourne AGENTS IN ALL STATES PRINTED BY SHIPPING NEWSPAPERS IVIC.) LTD. 197 KING STREET, MELBOURNI