June - The Classic Motorcycle Club of Johannesburg

The Classic Motorcycle Club
P.O. Box 7709, Albermarle, 1410
The Master Link
Vol.48 - No. 6 – June 2013
www.classicmotorcycleclub.co.za
Contentment
Page: 02
Page: 05
Page: 06
Page: 07
Page: 08
Page: 10
Page: 12
Page: 13
Page: 18
Page: 21
Page: 25
Page: 27
Page: 31
Page: 34
Page: 41
Page: 42
Page: 44
Calendar of Events/ New Members/ Notice Board
Perpetual Motion
Editorial
BOTM
News – World’s newest Indian honours Burt Munro
Upcoming Events – CMC Convention
Guess the Bike
Feature – The Passing Show at the Pavillion
Feature – Looking Back
Special Report – The 1000 Bike Show 2013
Feature – Wet wet wet
Past Event – The First South African CBX Get Together
Marketplace
Humour
Faces
CMC Committee
Riding Shotgun
[1]
Calendar of Events
June 2013
01
02
09
09
15
16
19
Benoni High School Wheels Day – Contact Charles Gardner 082 824 9731
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: Honda
Club Run
DJ Remembrance Run – Contact Pierre 072 513 9432
Vintage Moto Cross – Eastern Cape
Piston Ring
Final 1000 Bike Show meeting
July 2013
06/07
14
21
24
TBA
1000 Bike Show – Germiston High School
Club Run
Piston Ring
1000 Bike Show wrap up and report back
Natal CMC Bike Show
August 2013
04
04
10
11
18
21
TBA
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: Triumph
Cars in the Park – POMC
Vintage Moto cross – Gauteng
Club Run?
Piston Ring
Club Night?
Magnum Rally – Contact POMC
September 2013
01
Club Sunday - Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: BSA
08
Club Ride
TBA SAVVA AGM
15
Piston Ring Swap meeting
18
Club Night?
21/22 Social Vinduro – Clarens
20-24 CMC Convention
[2]
October 2013
06
13
16
20
27
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: All other Japanese except Honda
CMC Winter Rally Contact – Pierre 072 513 9432
Club Night?
Piston Ring
Inter Provincial VMX – Venue to be advised
November 2013
03
10
17
20
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: American Day, Harley Davidson, Indian etc
Club Ride
Piston Ring
AGM
December 2013
01
01
08
13
15
Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00
Bike of the Month: Scooter Day
Kiddies Xmas Party
Club ride in aid of charity
Chairman’s Braai
Piston Ring
Please note that all CMC rides meet at the Clubhouse at 08:00 and depart at 09:00
unless otherwise stated.
[3]
Welcome New Members
Andre Otto - BMW, Harley Davidson and Peugeot
Colin Preddy - Yamaha and Suzuki
Paul Danvers - Yamaha and Honda
Wayne Scott - Yamaha, Honda and Bimota
Gary Law - Ariel, BSA and Yamaha
Notice Board
NB: Bank Transfers and/or Direct Deposits - Please note that when paying any amount
into the Club’s account, use your name as a reference. Without this information we cannot
reconcile who paid what for which. It would help tremendously if your transfer/deposit
confirmation could be faxed to the Treasurer on 086 672 8941 with full details!
1000 Bike Show – Assistance Required
We are looking for people to volunteer as runners at the 1000 Bike Show on the 6th and 7th
July. Preferably kids who are over the age of 14, but adults are also welcome to assist. This
will be primarily to assist the gate staff while they keep the gate running smoothly.
If you are able to assist then please contact Mandy on 082 728 6954 and she will be able to
give you more details.
[4]
Perpetual Motion
The Postal Strike has played havoc with Magazine deliveries, I urge you to consider
receiving your magazine electronically. Please drop me an email at
chairman@classicmotorcycleclub.co.za and I will add you to the list. This will get you your
magazine before Club Sunday
The arrangements for the 1000 Bike Show has started, if you can assist, please drop me a
line.
We are introducing a new way of judging the bikes t the show this year, please familiarize
yourself with this, there is a write up in this magazine.
The club is always looking to buy spares and to keep the containers well stocked, if you are
aware of any spares that are available please let me know.
Safe Riding
Pierre
[5]
Editorial
The hurrier I go, the behinder I get…
My word, the world seems to have gone into overdrive. Just the other day I was pounding
away at the keyboard putting the Master Link together. Click ‘send’ and “Aaaaah, now I can
relax”. Nope. Five weeks blitzed by and here I am at it again. Not that I’m complaining,
it’s just an observation.
During this fast paced month there’s been a lot on the go. Club Sunday was another glorious
day with plenty action on the green. There was some real eye candy in the form of a brand
new, 2013 Norton Commando Café Racer, resplendent in black and gold. There was a
stunning collection of classic and vintage off road racers under the trees, with most belonging
to Gareth Ireland. This is one serious off-roader; I’m sure his veins must be full of mud and
two stroke oil.
The following Sunday (Mother’s Day) saw a motley collection of classics and cool moderns
meeting at the clubhouse for the start of the Cool Run. I’d like to think that there were lots
of mothers who were spoilt on this day as the turnout wasn’t as fantastic as we usually have.
Nevertheless, we had a fantastic outing to the Roxy in Dronkwordspruit. However, the fuzz
were also out and were targeting anything with two wheels and an engine. We had been
warned by some fellow motorcyclists (bikers, if you must), and after a quick check we
decided to push ahead as we all had licences and number plates; although Dave Carroll was a
bit concerned, with him and the sixpotter sporting slightly outdated licenses. I reckon he
must be quite the charmer as the cop casually checked him over and waved him through.
Either that or, more likely, the cop was thick as pig excrement.
Tony ‘Bad Boy’ White and Phil ‘Bootleg’ Moser weren’t so lucky, with Phil being let off on
a warning for a copied (albeit correct) license disk and Tony being slapped with a ‘love letter’
for having an illegal number plate. And the fuzz claim to be there for our protection?
Bastards!
We are now less than a month away from the 1000 Bike Show. Please see elsewhere in the
magazine for a detailed write-up on everything that is going down, how you can take part and
what we have in store. It’s going to be epic.
On a more sincere note, our heartfelt
condolences go out to Gary Edwards
and his family on the loss of his mother.
Please know that we are all thinking of
you and that you are all in our prayers.
That’s all from me. I hope you enjoy
this month’s magazine; and keep those
articles coming.
Till then,
Keep it upright!
T!M
[6]
Bike of the Month
The Bike of the Month for May is Gareth Ireland’s incredibly tidy KTM 504 from the early
80’s. It was quite a challenge choosing a winner this month as Gareth brought most of his
toys with; and they’re all stunning examples of off-road competition bikes. What was
interesting about this bike, apart from its great looks, was its massive Rotax motor, which
gives this machine its massive grunt. This is certainly a fine example of the breed and its
impeccable condition belies its regular competition duties.
[7]
News
BMW Concept Ninety - Roland Sands
The internet has been set abuzz lately by a new BMW concept harking back to the immortal
R90. Here’s the story by Ian Lee (courtesy of Bike Exif)
When a bike manufacturer commissions a special edition bike to be built outside of their
factory, they don’t just put their creation in the hands of any nuff nuff who can swing an
angle grinder and crimp terminals together. As part of this new trend to work with outside
customizers, Yamaha approached Wrenchmonkees, Triumph went to Icon, and now BMW
has collaborated with Roland Sands to create a homage to the BMW R90S – the German
marque’s bad ass bike of the 1970’s. Forty years after its launch, BMW & Roland Sands have
remained the R90S in a modern vein, while still retaining such touches as the blended paint
job, ducktail and bikini fairing the original bike was renowned for. The spirit of the original is
retained, with some awesome new design ideas thrown into the mix, making it clear that
BMW has chosen the right bike builder for the job.
Visually, the bike is striking. The upper components are painted up in bright Daytona orange
as a nod to the original bike. The lower end is splashed with black, R90S badging and other
aluminium hand crafted highlights
breaking up the dark visual effect. An
LED headlamp, wrapped in a bikini
fairing envelops a two gauge meter
cluster, RSD clip-ons and levers. The
custom tail end is a healthy mix of
Moto2 & café racer ducktail, with the
paintjob blended from the psychedelic
orange of the Daytona paintjob
through to a white stripe running up
the centre, adorned with a BMW
badge. Roland Sands has crafted a lot
of the componentry in-house, but the
[8]
most standout aspects are RSD wheels wrapped in Dunlop rubber making up the rolling
stock. With a café racer styled aesthetic, the Beemer features an almost wedge shaped outline
when viewed from the right angle. It
features tank cutouts to grip your knees
against when testing the flat twin to its
full capability, and according to BMW’s
press release, ‘an attack stance like a
sprinter about to explode into action’.
The BMW R90s concepts first public
outing is to be at the Villa d’este Concorso
Eleganza, generally a car based event but
this year with the R90S in attendance,
more attention will be given to the
motorcycle class. 40 years after the original R90S was released, this collaboration could be
the start of something beautiful. A lot of people are asking if BMW could be using the
concept as a gauge of public reception, to make a special run of bikes a la Paul Smart
LE1000. With no technical specs released, if the bike was to go into production it would have
to be able to live up to the name, reminding everyone of what bike it was that won the first
AMA superbike championship, and an amazing homage to the bike that broke the mindset
that BMW only made good touring bikes.
[9]
Upcoming Events
27TH CMC CONVENTION 2013
20 TO 24 SEPTEMBER 2013
Booking is now fully open for the above event. Our agenda remains the same as per the
previous article in the Master Link.
Final monetary figures are now at hand and reported as follows:
Accommodation:
Gala Evening Dinner:
Golf Shirt:
Cap:
Badge:
R250.00 per person per night
R160.00 per person
R195.00 each
R50.00 each
R45.00 each
Due to a great response from our members, the following accommodation is still available:
7 Hotel Rooms sleeping 2 persons
1 Self-Catering Bungalow sleeping 2 persons
1 Self-Catering Bungalow sleeping 2 to 3 persons
1 Self-Catering Bungalow sleeping 4 persons
2 Self-Catering Bungalows sleeping 4 to 6 persons
1 Self-Catering Bungalow sleeping 4 to 8 persons
2 Log Cabins sleeping 4 persons (Must use Ablution Block)
To avoid disappointment of no accommodation, please contact Rita on 083 774 6798,
011 764 3798 or e-mail: mwgrovem@mweb.co.za to obtain a Booking Form for completion.
[10]
[11]
Guess The Bike
It’s hardly likely that you’ve ever seen one of these before, yet here it is. Sadly, this
beautiful racing motorcycle never turned a wheel in anger. It was developed by an Italian
GP racer who had great success in the 175cc class in the late fifties; and was intended to
compete on the GP circuit in 1969. Propulsion was courtesy of an air-cooled, double crank,
two stroke V4 engine. Unfortunately it was killed overnight by an FIM edict limiting 250cc
bikes to two cylinders.
Can you guess what it is? The answer is on the last page.
[12]
Feature
The Passing Show at the Pavillion
(With apologies to Joel Mervis’ Ghost…)
The first chill of Winter bit hard – arctic air had
moved in and it was wooly shirt extra poloneck
jersey and thank God the bike’s got a fairing…
breath steaming and exhaust vapour pouring as
the bike warms up outside the gate. Breath
condensing on visor – hey summer is really over,
and if it’s like this now – how’s it going to be on
Gert’s Botes’ Eggrun in July?? From the
mouth of the organizer hisself – blerry cold !!
Tells me Sunday at the Pavillion that he is
organizing a block booking for the third
weekend in July at the Welkom Rugby Club –
rooms, Pub and Restaurant all adjacent – but
the Punters better book early…
And so it was. Eight ayem and the Pavillion
filling up fast with shivering well wrapped bikers
all arriving. Full leathers much in evidence
(hard riders or just the cold?) and the chicks
Garth surreptitiously trying to hotwire Duncan’s
looking great in their kit… This despite the
Retro Norton…
concurrent Guinness record breaking attempt at
Kyalami – Priscilla is sulking because she thought there would be free Guinness at the race track…
Welcome was the excellent R35 hot coffee and brekkie dished up on the minute by that marvelous
bunch of Volunteers who make it all happen. Unsung heroes. There is something about winter
riding – hey it’s not your modern comfort zone instant gratification activity – but man does it make
you feel great, glad to be alive and on a bike throwing it through the chill early morning air with a
hot brekkie masses of Ghabba’s and a pumping bike scene awaiting at road’s end…
Talking about well-wrapped bikers – one abominable (snowman?) Jan Smook’s vuilseun Sheldon
manifested himself out the murk just newly up from CT where he had hit the mother-lode. Looking
for hi tech engineering he came across this Itey owner of an immaculate factory. In the course of
conversation it transpired the owner restored Classic bikes in his spare time. Snap! “So check my
collection…” and he opens a warehouse door to reveal a line of pre-disc Guzzi’s, Laverda, and little
Mach-one Duke. Sheldon tunes he is looking for a front alloy rim due to an unfortunate encounter
of the impact kind – “no problem – check this storeroom lined with rows of rims – take your pick…”
“Oh and you say it is a T3 Guzzi? – look here in this other storeroom is a complete T3 motor…” So
next week Sheldon’s back to Slaapstad to consummate the deal for this new project where he is
taking a classic seventies’ Guzzi T3, stripping and buggering around with it to make a replica of the
modern V7 retro Café Racer. There’s logic in there somewhere…
Then to top it all they gave him a delightful little Lab Puppy for Xmas which promptly lunched the
saddle of his current bike. Not your average biker…
Also singing the praises of his Spada Guzzi was founder member Mike White who after some
disillusionment re-engineered the final drive but really made an improvement when he ran an
earthing wire to all items and replaced a seriously time-expired rotor brush. The bike is now
performing flawlessly and settles down to an even 130 click lope like it never wants to stop…
[13]
A pleasant reminisce in the sun on the days when the hot club meeting debate was that the nearby
brand new Velo Thruxton and Bonnie Triumph were not old enough to be Classics…
Brian and Rita doing brisk business at the container sign posted ‘Credit Control’ have opened
bookings for the Sabie September Convention and reckon accommodation is going fast. Should be
an incredible jol. The ever cheerful Roulstone fielding his Yammie XT Thumper a coupla weeks late
for the SSOB was haggling the spares away… Another source of British Spares Mike Lang was
cruising around doing business with the crowd. Collared by the irrepressible Bill Purvis who
informs me it’s spelled with only one ‘s’ – sorry. Looking forward to having a toot with Bill and
Mariette in September. Interest in the 1000 bike show is mounting and Bob Harpin has offered his
Morini despite being off to UK for five weeks.
Main attraction on the bowling green was a modern Norton Commando – the 961 Café Racer Retro
brought in by airline pilot Duncan for something in excess of R200K, Priscilla. This was a real
crowd-puller and we had Simon Fourie and Bike SA people with chairman Pierre and Couz Kev
gathered around. Also the Chrome Chain gang including Willie Struckmeyer and Garth Harvey
trying to work out how to loot R200k… An awesome piece of machinery. Seen photos, but in the
metal a strong family resemblance to our old Commandos - just everything a bit bigger – like it was
on steroids…
Man we had a Hesketh previously – wot next won’t we see on the Green??
Met another anglophile Tony White of the Union Jack Bonneville and Buell and Norman McCabe mates for nearly 50 years and like the rest of us stuck in a sixties timewarp. Tony has moved into
his garage and rented out his house. Only problem is his reprobate mates coming charging up to
the house at three ayem banging on the door and scaring the crap out of his tenants! Geoff and
Heather pitched on the Kawa 650, just back from four weeks in the Cape…
A fragile Ed Tim Romans sed he was attacked by Champagne at a recent wedding. The Sixpotter
rally at the Green Lantern in v Reenan’s was a major success despite the pouring rain - drawing forty
enthusiasts and about a million Honda cylinders…
Not so the Daffodil which would only have worked if you had a submarine – read on…
The Drenched Daffodil
Per Ed Tim the Daffodil was legendary for its deluge.
Animals were starting to gather two by two and this old
oke was building a wooden boat…
Departed a day early on the Duke in brilliant sunshine to
recce favoured Guinness-serving Pub Gumtreez in White
River. Later somewhat blurred, head past a blazing
forest fire (subsequently doused – guess how?) along the
scenic winding R537 through Sabie and into the resort
on Hazyview road. To be confronted by anxious
Manager Nick Kazandjis “everyone’s cancelled at the last
Sunny Arrival
minute!” Seems they all saw ‘Drenching Rain’ forecast
and whoosied out… So we canned the potjie and braai nights. I booked four nights and rode into
Sabie to check out the Sasol Rally then fast and furiously in progress. And soe waar the next ayem
the rain was pouring down. But midday the one oke who fears nothing – John Wakeling – pitched in
full waterproofs on his vintage rebuilt Guzzi V7 …
[14]
So we spent the wet afternoon platting a hipflask of
Johnny Reds and reminiscing about previous rides like
the first Buffalos and going up to Kariba on Norton
Commando’s in the early Seventies… Emboldened by
plenny of toots we decide to go to Sabie for supper, but I
cannot extricate my Duke out of the swamp in front of
the Chalets. So it was a wobbly two up on the Guzzi to
the Woodsman. I am the world’s worst pillion. There
we met the only two other participants who had
transshipped to the Woodsman – Capetonian IMOC
V7 on top of Long Tom…
member
and owner of a pair of MV Augusta’s Rob McConnell
and his JHB mate Hugo. A festive supper ensued
where the Guinness flowed and much bull was
spoken. Saturday pissed down but undaunted
Wakeling donned waterproofs, departed,
breakfasted, and returned a little later saying “Stuff
this for a lark…”
So we fried up an indoor steak and wors braai in the
Chalets and the rain poured down.
Sunday dawned brilliant sunshine and Wakeling
departed. I planted the Duke in this Iris patch trying
to get it out. Eventually have it carried out by the
Wakeling Wet First Departure
local labour, but Irises are soft so no damage… Took
a run on the twennytwo, goofed around, explored forest trails, chatted to Nick and the people in
reception, swam in the pool, and in the evening just for the hell of it braaied up a huge feast with all
trimmings including a Nederburg Baronne…
Went home Monday in blazing sunshine via the pleasant traffic-free Rosenhaugh, Sudwala,
nGodwana route and into chilly Transvaal – a brilliant ride. Enjoyed myself but the Daffodil event
was a washout!
Back to the Pavillion…
And it’s always the people you meet on the Green - last month it was graced by those dedicated long
distance White River enthusiasts Gary and son Tyrone Edwards, on the Bimota and the Ducati 450
single featured in Howie’s W700 article…
The terrible twins Barry Mee and Phil Moser are shortly off to Zimbabwe via all the dirt roads on
their Beemer Boxers . Barry reckons any water with live tadpoles in it is fit to drink…
IMOC’s Mr. Bean and repair wizard, Miguel de Melo Matias, pitched always cheerful and has
swopped his ST Duke for a Boxer Cup Beemer. Recently was putting up a high spike palisade which
fell crushing his leg. Dragged himself into hospital leaving a trail of gore across the casualty floor.
“What can we do for you?” Nothing , apparently, until after a frantic search yielded his medical-aid
card. Surgery then finally took him in and saved the leg. A close call with amputation.
Ran into Kenny at the Bar – condolences on mate Ian Whitehead’s passing recently…
IMOC Tech. Fundi Helmut Schafner pitched. Just bought Jimmy’s hot DOHC Four valve Guzzi
Centauro and will be trying out Ice Blasting on the cases of the rare Imola just imported by Jimmy
from salt strewn UK…
And all the while Terry ‘Motormouth’ Hack was belting out the old rock and roll and insulting the
assemblage over the PA system…
[15]
Colin Swartbrand just back from Bulgaria greeting in passing with an arm full of Beers and off again
back to Bulgaria same evening. Must be something to do with the Pubs in Bulgaria…?
And finally the intrepid submariner John Wakeling had made it back from the damp Daffodil and
was at the Pavillion (on his Beemer!) and savouring the savoury pies with son Mark who works at
DNA and girlfriend ‘Ghost’ …
Never a dull moment!
DISLODGED ROCKER
Tyrone on the Ducati and Gary Edwards on the Bimota
[16]
Open the 1st Sunday of the month at 9am
Golf Shirts in sizes Medium
to 3XL in two different
colours now available at the
“Credit Control” counter @
R160.00 each.
Also caps at R45.00 each.
“Spares you need, from
bikers you know”
[17]
Feature
LOOKING BACK
Firstly let’s get the 1000 Bike show out of the way. It’s the feeling of many of the older
members of the CMC that club spirit and camaraderie and all that good stuff notwithstanding,
in terms of the image of the CMC, our yearly show is arguably our most important event of
the year. And it is certainly the most important event financially.
Perhaps the biggest difficulty with an event that seems to have caught on in a very big way
like the 1000 Bike is in maintaining or hopefully improving the standard year on year. As we
speak the committee of the CMC is working towards getting this year’s show to operate
much more smoothly and efficiently than previously, for the benefit of the exhibitors,
(without whom there wouldn’t be a show) the paying customers (without whom there
wouldn’t be a show) and the organizers (without whom there wouldn’t be a show). The
hopeful outcome of this work is of course to stop the organisers of the show shouting “never
again” after it’s all finished, and encouraging the exhibitors and spectators to look forward
with pleasurable anticipation to early July 2014.
A couple of examples:- We have designed what we hope will be a fairer and more even
standard of concours judging.(Details in last month’s magazine) Exhibitors will receive a
metal badge for each motorcycle exhibited. Spectators will be asked to judge the “best stand”
award which we hope will let them feel more part of the action. Attention is being paid to the
parking congestion at the West end of the site and to some, perhaps most importantly; I
believe the beer tent is going to be bigger.
For all this to happen in the best way possible, we need only two things from each member,
your co-operation and your feedback. As the Chinaman said in the joke, “many hands make
light work”. Let’s get the lights burning brightly at 1000 Bike Show 2013.
STANDOUT BIKES
The late Duncan Robertson and I used to, as a form of mental stimulation, deliberately
involve ourselves in monumental arguments. The rules of the game were that one took up a
standpoint in which one quite often did NOT believe and then try to prove ones point. The
rules allowed personal insult, reasonably heavy verbal abuse and derogatory remarks
concerning the others pedigree and family antecedents. The arguments had to be about
motorcycles and actual swearwords were taken to be an indication that your argument was
weakening and you were losing the plot.
I can clearly remember one such “discussion” on the way home from a CMC meeting one
Friday night. Clive Edwards (founder member, father of Gary Edwards) was a lovely bloke
but sometimes tended to take life a little seriously, and this was early days and he had never
seen us having one of our set-to’s before. Now, these arguments once concluded were
completely forgotten, as I said, they were a form of exercise, so when Duncan got out of the
car that evening all was forgotten. But so impressed was poor old Clive that he was around at
Duncan’s house early on Saturday morning to see if he could make peace between Duncan
and myself. For a moment Duncan didn’t know what he was talking about and quickly
provided an explanation after which Clive was a much happier man.
[18]
One subject that could really get us going was the oft asked question “If you had to go
through a list of all the motorbikes you have ever owned (and in Duncan’s case this was even
in the seventies quite a mission) and could chose just one with which to spend the rest of your
life, let’s call it your own personal Standout motorcycle, which would it be?
It’s easy to see why for most of us this is an impossible question to answer. Our interests
within the sport change constantly. Speaking for myself I have at various times over the last
50 or so years been involved in off road racing (solo and sidecar), foot up trials (classic and
modern), road racing (a little modern and a lot of classic), Touring (with the CMC and on my
own), and even on occasions commuting (definitely not one of my favourite motor biking
activities). Of course one could probably assume that anyone dedicated to a lifetime pursuit
of just one motorcycling discipline would have less of a decision to make.
Still, after a good days riding and we have that contented feeling of a day well spent, and
we’re all sitting around chatting and imbibing the liquid of our choice this can be a wonderful
subject to introduce to get a discussion going. For the sake of sanity it would probably be a
good idea to put some limits on the discussion. Such as, at this very moment what is your
Standout bike? Or you could divide it into time periods like what is your Standout classic or
Standout road racer etc etc? If that seems too difficult then one can ask people that if they
were to put together a list of their 10 Standout motorbikes from all ages and disciplines of
what would the list comprise? Also remember that one of the rules for this argument is that
you don’t have to have ridden it for a bike to be one of your Standout motorcycles. Even at
my age I have my dreams (no Desdemona, try to pick up the message, I haven’t got a
collection of Honda’s).
For example one of my all-time Standout motorcycles is the factory DKW 3 cylinder 350cc
two stroke road-racer of the mid 50’s. Even at their peak there were probably no more than 5
or 6 running examples and there are according to what I read only 2 known examples left.
One comparatively early one in a museum and one reputed to be in a private collection in
Europe somewhere. However I still have this impossible dream of finding one, in restorable
condition under a pile of old farming machinery in De Aar or Noupoort or somewhere
similar.
What’s your list of best 10 Standout motorcycles? Come on Guys. Compile your lists and
send them off to the Editor. Let’s create a situation where he asks us to stop sending
contributions to the Magazine!
MIKE WHITE
[19]
[20]
Special Report
1000 Bike
Show
2013
th
th
6 & 7 July
So as you all know (or should know): the annual 1000 Bike Show is just around the corner
and preparations are in full swing. The venue is booked, the tent is organised, the trade stalls
are filling up fast, the logistics have been sorted and the slices are on ice. We had to resist
the urge to make the tent bigger this year, but we are pleased to announce that the fruit shop
will be growing in size to accommodate all those thirsty punters.
However, most important of all are the beautiful, gleaming machines that fill the enormous
display tent; and this is where we need your help. If you haven’t already committed
yourself, we are appealing to all our members to put their classics on show and lend a hand
wherever you can. This year, as a special thank-you to everyone that displays a bike, each
bike will be presented with a special ‘Exhibitor’s Medal’ that you can keep and show off to
all your impressed mates.
For those of you that would like to enter your gleaming machine into the Concours de Etat at
the show, you can find an entry form, as well as a copy of the judging form, right here in the
magazine. Entries will be open from 15:00 on the Friday before the show and will close on
the Saturday at 13:00 and can be made at the VIP table in the middle of the tent.
Presentation of the awards will take place, as per usual, on the Sunday afternoon. Entries for
the best marque can be done with the stand coordinators on the Saturday. Please contact
your relevant stand coordinator regarding entries and displaying of your pride and joy.
Due to the unique way that we do things at the CMC, I have included a guideline for all the
stand coordinators, based on last year’s list. Please give the guys a shout; I’m sure they’d
love to put your machine on display.
Setup will take place on the Friday. All exhibitors and trade stall people are kindly asked to
use the back gate when bringing bikes and equipment. This is to make things easier at the
main gate and to avoid confusion. Please be advised that if you enter the show on the
Saturday and Sunday through the main gate you will be asked to pay. Mandy and Co will be
manning the gate, so don’t even try to negotiate. CMC members that do pay and wish to be
refunded can redeem their entry fee from the Credit Control Desk at the following Club
Sunday. Please present your ticket stub with your membership card to Rita and you will be
refunded.
There will also be a designated trailer parking area. If you bring a trailer over the weekend,
please make use of this facility. This is to try avoid the chaos that usually ensues behind the
tent. Malcolm Tutt will be overseeing this, so if you have any queries or are not sure where
to go, please have a chat with him on the day. He’s a very helpful chap.
We look forward to seeing you all at the show. Thanks to your help and participation, I’m
sure we can make this one the biggest and best yet. Please refer to the poster or the CMC
website for more info, or contact any of the Committee members.
See you there.
[21]
1000 Bike Show Stand Coordinators
Harley Davidson
Theo v Rensburg
082 447 9146
theo@netwater.co.za
Ariel
Allan Horwell
Brian Hunter
082 872 1735
082 372 0649
horwells@mtnloaded.co.za
bhunter@lantic.net
Truimph
Peter Moody
083 273 5487
peter.moody@za.abb.com
BMW
Other Germans
Derek Marsden
Bob Hooper
082 307 4496
083 381 0695
derek.marsden@wierminerals.com
hbob@mami.co.za
AMC
Willem Beaurain
Colin Blackburn
083 271 1964
073 145 5863
colinb@bje.co.za
BSA
Derek Lockwood
Mitch McAlister
Freddie Viljoe
083 408 7525
083 456 9119
082 336 5590
lockwoods@iburst.co.za
mitchm@ppetech.co.za
Freddie.Viljoen@unilever.com
Royal Enfield
Blaize Rawlins
082 568 1457
Blaize.Rawlins@vrn.co.za
Norton
Des Burton
Garth Harvey
Richard Salt
083 229 8050
082 575 2848
0761964296
harvsh@mweb.co.za
richjillsalt@hotmail.com
Velocette
Kevin Robertson
Alan Harris
083 321 3234
073 107 8984
invsteel@keedo.co.za
DJ
Gavin Walton
Kevin Walton
083 4084296
082 805 2337
gavin.walton@e6.com
kwalton@mpsa.co.za
Racing
Gary Hunter
083 720 8688
garyh@tiscali.co.za
HMG
Mike Cox
Italian
Lofty Pretorius
Bob Harpin
083 635 1451
083 230 4714
Kawasaki
Mark Lewis
073 078 3856. mlsupermod@gmail.com
Honda
Tony Woods
Tim Romans
073 198 4396
082 629 2961
Yamaha
Gordon Clack
082 571 5877
Suzuki
Rusty Thorns
082 411 1687
rusty.thorns@ramgroup.co.za
Jawa
Greg vd Merwe
082 458 2291
gregory.vdmerwe@fnb.co.za
Offroad
Hamish Ireland
Dave Haynes
082 772 0141
082 895 5259
Hamish Ireland (irelanh@eskom.co.za)
farmer@global.co.za
Vespa/Lambretta
Gerard Habib
082 925 2534
ghabib@mweb.co.za
082 457 0248
[22]
cctv@icon.co.za
lofty.pret@mweb.co.za
harpin103@tiscali.co.za
tim@bgcg.co.za
The Classic Motorcycle Club
1000 Bike Show Concours entry form
Class entered
Vintage &
Vereran < 1931
Mark box with an X
Classic 1931 1960
Post Classic
1961-1970
Off Road <
1985
Racing <1985
New Era 1971
- 1988
Motorcycle Make/
model/year
Registration No / Engine No
Owners name
Contact Number
Judging will start from 15h00 on Friday until 13h00 Saturday
Entries close at 13h00 on Saturday - No late entries will be accepted
Results will be published at 14h00 on Sunday
Prize giving at 14h00 on Sunday
Judges decision will be final.
[23]
CMC 1000 Bike Show
CONCOURS
Bike
CLASS ENTERED:
Year
Vintage
&
Vereran
Classic
<1931 1932-1960
Off Road < 1985
Post
Classic
1961 1970
New Era 19711988
Racing < 1985
REG NO / Number
100
Overall impression
Overall Cleanliness
Bikes Presentation
Engineering
Detailing
Stand, history, restoration photos,
etc
Racing and off road only
(Tidiness of wiring, cables,
Decals, Transfers, controls,
instrumentation, etc.)
Paintwork
Frame
Tinware
Motor/ Gearbox
Wheels & Tyres
Exhaust and silencers
Replica or Origional
Authentisity / Originality
General appearance & authentisity /
Originality
Correct size and finish, Era specific
origional looking tyres
Correct appearance and finish
Replica marked out of 50
Origional marked out of 100
Total
Comments
[24]
Feature
WET WET WET
In March of this year I successfully climbed Kilimanjaro. On the back of that triumph, I
embarked without fear, to conquer the Pre 65 Scottish 2 day trial. I was feeling invincible.
What could possibly make me say “This is just too tough”.
toug
The bike I was to ride was the 250cc Greeves Scottish which belonged to the late Duncan
Robertson. I had told him that one day I would take his bike back to his birth place, and I was
able to ship the bike back to the UK a few years ago, when a good friend
friend emigrated back to
Blighty.
It needed some “Scottish Proof” work however, so I replaced the historically unreliable
Villiers points system with an electronic ignition system and fitted an engine bash plate for
rocks, rocks and yet more rocks.
The event was limited to 180 riders, but because I knew people, who knew people, I got
accepted. With the bike loaded in the Transit Van, Fort William loaded into the GPS and the
prospect of an eleven hour road trip ahead of me, I put “voet in die hoek”. The
T bad news saga
started in Preston and continued up into Glasgow. It was Wednesday and the motorway
authorities were warning motorists via the electronic signage that “very heavy rain” was to be
expected on Friday. I had never seen this before and it was easy to dismiss when there was
not a cloud in the sky. It was a glorious spring day.
Thursday came, and in a day of equal splendour, we took the opportunity to recky some of
the Friday route sections. They were typical rocky sections with a “wee burn” running
run
down
it. Nothing too stressful I thought. There was a bit of water and the rocks were of a size and
magnitude that my newly fitted bash plate could handle. Add to that a bit of bodily energy
and strength that a hearty helping of Scotch porridge could supply and I was fit for a win!!!
Ok so I have to beat a few ex--British
British champions as well. Oh yes, and a few European ones as
well, but I was not perturbed.
Did the Almighty open the rain tap, or what!! It rained all night and if that was not enough, it
continued
ontinued to rain and rain and rain. Oh yes, and snow up on the mountains, where we were
scheduled to go. It was cold!! Oh boy was it cold!!! Fortunately I had brought with me a
thermal suit I had used on my Kilimanjaro trip, so I felt I had that adversity covered. The
traditional playing of the bagpipes
pipes at the start sounded more like a band of throat garglers, but
give them credit, they turned up.
I attired myself with every bit of waterproof clothing I had, and in addition, I banded duct
tape over every remaining
emaining orifice (except that one).
The first section was Pipeline. The most famous trials section in the world, So far, so good.
Section 2, 3, 4 & 5 also weren’t a real problem. Then came the first of the sections we had
viewed on the previous day. To say
say that it had become a raging torrent was no overover
[25]
exaggeration. You could have staged a world white water rafting challenge on it. This was
not trials. Riders were grabbing a hand full of throttle and hoping for the best. It was chaos
and the rain continued. The duct taping of all orifices was all well and good for a while, until
the torrential rain made its way down my neck into my boots. I was gradually filling up with
water!! I was being punished for laughing at those bag pipe players. Riding on the road
between sections was no better. The rain was coming at you horizontally and you had no idea
where any white lines were.
We managed to make it back to Parc Ferme for re-fuelling, where we were told the rest of the
days riding had been cancelled. Later that evening we were told that Saturday’s riding had
also been cancelled. Riders were not happy. With the organisers knowing days in advance
that bad weather was imminent, why did they not have a back-up plan? Why did they not find
some non-river sections as an alternative? Accusations of stubbornness and bloody minded
Scottish rigidity were rife.
The results and winner were determined on what we had battled on the Friday morning,
which was somewhat bitter-sweet. For the first time in nearly a hundred years, we were
beaten by the weather, and I had to choose this year. In the words of William Shakespeare,
Shit Happens!
Below are a couple of photos but for those computer literate readers, type in “Pre 65 Scottish
2013” when in “YouTube” and have a look at some of the video footage.
Yours truly at the start (slightly wet)
Tim Britton, editor of Classic Dirt Bike (very wet)
Bruce Watts
[26]
Past Event
The First South African CBX Get Together
19-21 April 2013
By Tim Romans
Man, isn’t technology a wonderful thing? For ages Honda CBX enthusiasts have been huddling
together whenever they come across two or three examples of Irimajiri’s Folly, and muttering about
having a big get together of sorts where hundreds of cylinders and thousands of valves would
congregate together in the same area; and where their owners could have a decent chinwag in the
company of other fans of Japanese engineering excess. Yet somehow it never ever happened.
Enter the miracle (or bane if you will) that is Facebook. Join up, share a few photos of yourself and
your hobbies, start a group page for like-minded individuals who share your interests and boom, you
pretty soon have a little digital tribe of followers that can communicate with the touch of a button.
One such page is the ‘CBX Owners Club of South Africa’, allied with the international ‘CBX1000
Owners Club’.
One determined member, Dan Booysen, decided that he would put his mutterings into action and
through determination, started offering jackets, caps and other such paraphernalia emblazoned with
the CBX legend. Such was the interest that he took it a step further and took it upon himself to
organise a mass gathering for the group’s members. With the assistance of Alan Green and Tony
Donaldson (representing the Natal region), the first ever ‘CBX Run’ was organised. Thanks to
various members’ inputs, the venue eventually chosen was The Green Lantern Inn in Van Reenen.
Such was the interest that the entire hotel was booked out, which resulted in some very good prices
for everyone going.
Excitement grew as the date drew closer, with guys posting pictures and much banter about getting
ready for the run. It was going to be epic.
And then the rain came down...
We were greeted on Friday morning by
miserable weather and threats of torrential
down pours. There was only one thing for it:
stop off at the nearest bike shop on the way to
the starting point to buy a rain suit.
The Jo’burg guys met at the Carnival Mall
Engen at around 10-ish and eventually departed
somewhere round 11:00. Yours truly could
only get off work at 12:00, so I shot home
(making a quick stop at G. Fox and Co to buy a
[27]
rain suit), loaded up and departed at 13:00. There’s nothing worse than wheeling a sparkling, shiny
bike that’s been polished twice out the garage and into rain. However, because I’m so tight and I’d
already paid for my accommodation, there was nothing for it but to hit the road.
The ride out of Edenvale was actually quite lekker, with the weather holding back for most of the way
down to Villiers. A quick fill up and back on the road; and then the heavens opened up. It stayed
like that all the way down to Van Reenen and my new rain suit was thoroughly put through its paces.
Almost missed a fuel stop in Warden as I blitzed by it with nary a sign (or a garage) in sight; which
could have led to disaster as the big six is very, very thirsty. I then nailed it all the way down,
shooting straight through Harrismith and finally arriving, drenched, at the Green Lantern Inn.
I was greeted by Bill, the proprietor
of the Green Lantern, who gestured
me inside to a blazing fire where I
could get all my kit off (calm down
ladies). While I was drying off in
front of the fire, rotisserie style, I
was greeted by the rest of the mense
from Gangster’s Paradise: Eddie
Hellyar, Andre Cilliers, Alan and
Barbara Green, Mark Chandler and
Jade ‘Black Widow’ Lourenco. I
was also introduced to all the other
CBX nutters, including Dan
(Booysen) and his Mrs, Kevin
Taylor and Natal boys; Tony
(Donaldson), Brian Hudson, Craig Buck, Chris Magri (CBX specialist of note), Clyde and Sandy
Lawrence and a span of other cool cats, all there to talk CBX. Incidentally, Eddie and Brian were the
first two people in SA to own CBXs, with Eddie’s bike being showered in Champagne and first out
onto the road.
After a lekker dinner laid on by the hotel, we all found our way to the pub where the weekend’s
proceedings were discussed, after which we were treated to the amazing singing talents of Sandy, who
together with her husband Clyde, are part of a band called Fugly. Much merriment was had by all
and we eventually called it quits after 01:00 in the morning.
And the rain came down…
Saturday morning dawned with a surprise: more rain. Oh well, off to breakfast with all the other six
addicts. With the fires blazing we kuiered for a while in the hotel lounge; the plan being to hopefully
wait out the rain and then make our way through Golden Gate and on to Clarens for lunch. With no
let up in sight we all eventually piled into, ahem, the Durban guy’s cars and made our way to Clarens.
Man, Murphy is a swine. Just past Harrismith and the weather dried up, although it was still pretty
miserable. One thing’s for sure: Golden Gate looked absolutely stunning, with hundreds of little
waterfalls all over the place and all the rock overhangs really bursting with colour. We’ll definitely
need to make another trip through when the sun is out.
We stopped in Clarens and were treated to a fantastic lunch at the Artist’s Café, just to the one side of
the town square. Post nosh, we meandered around town a bit, taking in all the sights and sounds.
Luckily it was a bike event and I didn’t have any money with me because the car would have been
full of Surrealist paintings on the trip back to the hotel. There are some very talented artists living in
the area.
[28]
After lunch, some of us went to the Trans-Caledon North Delivery Tunnel, where millions of litres of
water reach the surface after having travelled hundreds of kilometres from the Katse Dam. On the
way back Clyde, Sandy, Andre and myself stopped back in Clarens for a drink with one of Clyde’s
old mates, while the rest of the gang headed back to the hotel. With the weather having cleared up
quite nicely everyone was itching to take the irons for a spin, which resulted in an impromptu drag
meet in front of the hotel. Bloody bikers! Naturally I did the same thing when we got back.
The hotel put on a braai spread fit for a king and everyone
ate themselves dik. Standard procedure was then
followed and everyone made their way to the bar where
Sandy was belting out the tunes. Although only for a
short while as she had arranged a karaoke event of epic
proportions. It started out slowly in the usual manner, but
once Eddie, Mark and Jade had got hold of the mic it went
crazy. Clearly the Durban boys couldn’t handle the pace
as most of them were in bed by 10 o’clock. Not the
Jo’burg boys; 01:30 in the morning and we were still
going strong. I felt sorry for the bar staff, who never
complained once and kept the liquid flowing. Prost!
And the sun came out!
Sunday dawned slightly overcast but looked very
promising, with rays of sunshine beaming through here
and there. After another fantastic breakfast, the sixpotters
were all wiped down and wheeled out into the street in
front of the hotel. Man! What a magnificent sight,
seeing all those exhaust headers in a row. There were enough cylinders to make up the entire starting
grid of the 1958 Manx TT (probably). Naturally, the bikes needed to be dried out. As a result the
town of Van Reenen was a very noisy place that Sunday morning.
With professional photographer Albert Kruger (www.albertsphotography.yolasite.com) behind the
lens, a massive group shot was organised, followed by some posed riding shots, which turned out to
be quite fun. It’s amazing how photogenic some people can be.
[29]
With the sun starting to make an appearance, we all
said our goodbyes, loaded up and departed
homeward bound. The East Rand made a quick
turn by the famous ‘little church’. The service was
just finishing off when we arrived, and what a
surprise to see several familiar faces whom we had
met the night before in the pub (the karaoke night
remember). We paid our respects and headed out
onto the open road.
No sooner had we left than Eddie’s bike’s past sins
came back to haunt it. The old tank lining that had
been done ten years prior had started to come off
blocked the carbs, which prevented the bike from revving over 4000 rpm. Fortunately Alan had
asked his mechanic to bring a bakkie and trailer down that morning, so the iron was loaded up next to
Jock Morgan’s water soaked six and so the circus moved on. The rest of the journey home was fairly
uneventful with the sixes singing in harmony all the way home. There’s nothing like hearing a
chorus of CBXs singing the same tune.
And so the first CBX gathering came to an end. What had started out as an idea became a reality;
and although it was dampened (pardon the pun) quite suddenly with the miserable weather, it turned
out to be a cracker of a weekend. And even though the six almost bankrupted me with its ferocious
thirst, it was still a damn sight cheaper than therapy; and much more rewarding.
Keep it upright.
[30]
Marketplace
For Sale
BMW spares
2 of R50/R60 petrol tanks
2 of swinging arms for the same bikes
250 cc BMW gear box and diff
Air filter housing
R50/R60 diff
R500 each
R100 each
R700 for both
R100
R500
1952 Ariel 500cc VH rigid frame machine. Bike partially restored. Good project to complete.
Plus a 350cc engine, 600cc side valve engine, more 600cc side valve engine parts and a load
of various Ariel spares too numerous to list.
R10,000 for the lot.
Contact Graham on 083 468 1753.
Suzuki DR500 frame and wheels
(Offers?)
Velo Solex for restoration
R1500
Pieter Snyman
076 801 5581
1993 Yamaha V-Max. Black, low mileage, very good condition. Non V-Boost model.
Fitted with belly pan and Over carbon fibre exhausts. Fully licensed. R38,000
1974 Yamahs XS650-1B. Black, very good condition. Comes with lots of spares,
including frame, sub assembly, head, bodywork etc. Fully licensed. R28,000
Contact Tim (editor@classicmotorcycleclub.co.za) or Isak (084 703 9419)
Wanted
Wanted for pre war BSA 500 OHV
Push Rods
Chain Guard
7 inch Headlight
BSA Clutch Lever
Battery Box
Complete Clutch
Cush Drive
Contact Pierre 072 513 9432
[31]
Honda C110 Petrol tank and any other spares.
Please contact Gary on 083 226 8456
Stolen
My MV Augusta F4 one thousand cc, Registration number CA 94546, Frame number (VIN
Number) ZCGF511BB5V002322, Engine Number F5A402266, was STOLEN under the Old
Oak bridge on the N1 going in the direction of Paarl on 13 April 2013 between the hours of
21h40 and 11h45. I experienced a mechanical breakdown and had to fetch a bike trailer to
take the motorcycle home. This is an exceptionally scarce motor cycle and believed to be the
only one in South Africa with the silver and blue combination (please see photographs
attached).SAPS Case number CAS 551/4/2013 has been opened and details of the vehicle
have already been circulated to all police stations countrywide.
You can phone me on 083 973 1017 or 021 914 5477 (Office) or Home 021 554 2781
PLEASE contact SAPS at 021 918 3000 and use CAS 551/4/2013 as the reference.
To the general public, if anyone saw someone loading this bike onto a vehicle or trailer on 13
April 2013 between the hours of 21h40 and 23h45, and can remember any details, please feel
free to contact me or SAPS. If anyone is aware of the whereabouts of the motorcycle, or can
provide any information that can lead to its recovery,
It will be appreciated, if not too much trouble, to circulate to your members as well.
I also attach various photographs of the bike. If anyone has seen the bike or know of its
whereabouts, please feel free to contact me or the Police.
Regards
Riaan Spence
Services
Reg Assist. Need help with getting your machine on the road? John Muller is able to help.
Services offered include:
•
•
•
Trailer introductions, Licensing & Registrations
Change of Ownership
Advice on Natis & Roadworthy Problems
Contact John on 083 239 2293
Charity
Gwyneth Cronje is looking for donations of wool for use in a charity project. If you are able
to donate to the cause please bring wool donations to the club either on Club Sundays or
Wednesday night club meetings for collection. Your assistance would be greatly
appreciated.
For more information contact Gwyneth on 011 849 3008
[32]
Library
The CMC library now holds a copy of most of the CMC magazines from the inception of the
club but a couple of editions are missing.
Can anybody assist in completing the full set? The magazines missing are:
•
Number 1 to number 7 which was from May 1970 to November 1970.
•
January 1981, January 1990 (although these might have been incorporated in the
December editions but were not stated as such) and August 2007.
I do not have the following, recent copies (in hard copy): 2010 May, July, August,
September and December plus January to July 2011.
If anybody has any motorcycle related books or magazines that they would be prepared to
donate to the CMC library please contact the librarian or one of the committee members.
Thanks
Bob Harpin
G.J. Electroplating
We specialize in the restoration and chrome plating of vintage &
classic motorcycle and car parts using the triple chrome plating
process that generates concourse quality results.
Other processes include: polishing, copper, brass, nickel, cadmium
and zinc.
P.O. Box 16055 Atlasville 1465
Unit 16 & 17 Middle Park cnr Craig & Dormehl Roads,
Anderbolt, Boksburg
Tel: 087 941 0637/8 or 011 894 4525 Fax: 086 622 6342
Greg Cell: 082 680 0740
E-mail: gjelectropl@megaweb.co.za
[33]
Humour
Fancy dress party
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and
told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she
argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of
his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still
early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her
costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he
acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor,
dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high
and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered
a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a
little bang.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume
away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behaviour.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said,
"Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill
Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll
tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to says he had a real good time!"
From Phil Moser
Hired help
The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his
wife a year or so before and rumour had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride.
Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumour was true.
Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.
Tom proudly said, “She'll be twenty-one in November.”
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young
woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man.
Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom
should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take
its own course.
Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
[34]
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. “How's the new wife?”
asked the banker.
Tom proudly said, “Good ... and she's pregnant.”
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, “And how's the hired
hand?”
Without hesitating, Tom said, “She's pregnant too.”
From Tony Woods
Before and After Marriage
From Blaize Rawlins
[35]
Little Johnny
A grade three teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what
they had for breakfast.
To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their answers.
Susan puts up her hand and says she had an egg, “E-G-G”.
“Very good”, says the teacher.
Peter says he had toast “T-O-A-S-T”.
“Excellent.”
Johnny has his hand up and the teacher reluctantly calls on him.
“I had bugger all”, he says, “B-U-G-G-E-R-A-L-L”.
The teacher is mortified and scolds Johnny for his rude answer.
Later when the lesson turns to geography, she asks the students some rudimentary questions.
Susan correctly identifies the Capital of Canada. Peter is able to tell her which ocean is off
Canada's east coast.
When it's Johnny's turn, the teacher remembers his rude answer from the nutrition lesson, and
decides to give him a very difficult question.
“Johnny”, she asks, “Where is the Pakistani border?”
Johnny ponders the question and finally says, “The Pakistani boarder is in bed with my
mother.”
“That's why I got bugger all for breakfast”.
From Dave Carroll
Scottish Wedding
At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled...
"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth
living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.
New Security Tactics
I've cancelled my armed response, tore out my alarm system and de-registered from my
neighbourhood watch.
I've got 4 Vierkleur flags raised in my grounds, one at each corner and the AWB flag in the
centre of the garden, a Blue Bulls flag draped in the window, ‘God loves the AWB’ stickers
on my cars and my sound system alternately plays ‘Die Stem’ and ‘De La Rey’ at full
volume!
The Local Police, Department of Home affairs and Hawks are all watching my house 24/7.
I'VE NEVER FELT SAFER!
From Tony Woods
[36]
HEY OLDER CROWD
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the
rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how
serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘NO REPEATS.’
----An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a
renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something
happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."
----[37]
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging
about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old."
----The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
----Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me! I want people to know why I look this way.
I've travelled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
----When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
----You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
----One of the many things no one tells you about ageing is that it is such a nice change from
being young.
----Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
----First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
----Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around K-Mart when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I
wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too...
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom..., long
legs, and is wearing a mini skirt. What does your wife look like?'
To which the old guy says, "Doesn't matter,--- let's look for yours."
From Tony Woods
Blonde in Church
An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a
rumour that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian
community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want
the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."
The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood?
Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess
your transgression."
No one moved. Again, all was quiet.
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Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose
from the third pew.
Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible
misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a
couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.
Life is Short, Smile While You still have Teeth. Give me an Amen, Brother!!!
Curtain Rods
On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by
candle-light; she put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar
of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.
When she'd finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten
shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow centre of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
On the fourth day, the husband came back with his new girlfriend, and at first all was bliss.
Then, slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters,
during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.
Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month
later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky
house.
Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
[39]
Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money
from the bank to purchase a new place.
Then the ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the
rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would
be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.
Knowing she could have no idea how bad the smell really was, he agreed on a price that was
only 10% of what the house had been worth ... but only if she would sign the papers that very
day.
She agreed, and within two hours his lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company
pack everything to take to their new home......
......and to spite the ex-wife they even took the curtain rods!
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
From Phil Moser
[40]
Faces
You’d swear these guys are famous or something…
I’m sorry, I had to. When I saw this pic I couldn’t resist putting it in. I mean, when last did
you see a pink, sequinned bike with springer forks and a lawnmower engine?
Can you guess who this person is?
Answer on the last page.
[41]
CMC Committee 2013
Chairman
Pierre Cronje
Tel: 011 849 3008 Fax: 011 425 1284
chairman@classicmotorcycleclub.co.za
http://www.classicmotorcycleclub.co.za
072-513-9432
Vice Chairman
Hamish Ireland
H: 011 827 1670
Fax: 011 827 1670
ireland1@telkomsa.net
082-772-0141
Secretary
Bob Hooper
W: 011 452 4737
Fax: 011 452 4738
H: 011 452 6070
mbob@telkomsa.net
083-381-0695
Treasurer
Rita Grové
H: 011 764 3798
Fax: 086 672 8941
treasurer@classicmotorcycleclub.co.za
mwgrovem@mweb.co.za
083-774-6798
Banking Details:
Account Name: Classic Motorcycle Club
Standard Bank – Benoni
Bank Code No: 013042
Account No: 420 188 738
Charity Organizers:
Marlene Hooper
082-925-1447
H: 011 452 6070
mbob@telkomsa.net
Bob Hooper
083-381-0695
W: 011 452 4737
Fax: 011 452 4738
H: 011 452 6070
mbob@telkomsa.net
Japanese/Honda Spares:
Alan Green (Honda Shop)
classicrestorations@hotmail.com
Dave Carroll
Spares:
Brian Roulstone
W: 011 828 0716
brian@eiconsa.co.za
Brian Neethling
Fax: 011 768 6829
Bob Linell
anitalinell@gmail.com
[42]
073-804-2970
083-461-3303
082-950-3766
082-546-7155
082-756-7776
Event Organisers
Racing Section
Timothy Romans
W: 011 661 1517
Alan Bayley
lifestylemcle@gmail.com
Graham Kendall
kendall@discoverymail.co.za
Gary Hunter
H: 011 475 2179
garyh@tiscali.co.za
082-629-2961
078-137-5609
083-468-1753
083-720-8688
W: 011 882 8030
Trials Organiser
Bruce Watts
H: 011 450 3089
W: 011 409 1300
B.Watts@senet.co.za
082 443 8800
Off-Road Rides
Trials
Dave Haines
W: 011 803 1159
H: 011 465 1306
Fax: 011 803 0970
farmer@global.co.za
082-895-5259
SAVVA Reps
Freddie Viljoen
082-336-5590
Liaison Officers
Terry Hack – Members
alarmlockking@gmail.com
082-697-6058
Webmaster
JAWS
john@austinwilliams.co.za
083 459-7802
Museum Custodian Brian Neethling
Fax: 011 768 6829
Barry Allan
082 546 7155
Trophy Officer
Rusty Thorns
RustyRoland.Thorns@ram.co.za
082 411 1687
Editor
Timothy Romans
W: 011 661 1517
editor@classicmotorcycleclub.co.za
082-629-2961
082-494-9678
[43]
Riding Shotgun
New custom leather saddles made to order.
order.
Contact Al Gator for snappy service.
Answer for Guess the Bike: 1969 Villa 250 GP Racer
Answer for Faces: Paris Hilton
[44]