cdsg - all group forms - Catholic`s DIVORCE SURVIVAL Guide

Registration Sheet About You Name: Address: Home Phone: Cell Phone: Work Phone: Email Address: Home Parish (or Church): Divorce Are you civilly divorced yet? Please explain. Annulment Have you received a declaration of nullity (annulment) yet? Have you begun the annulment process? Would you like to make an appointment to speak with the pastor or parish advocate? Do you need to know more about the annulment process? Your Needs What would you like to get from this group? What concerns or questions do you have? Please complete and return this form to your group facilitator. Thank you! Support Group Etiquette PLEASE arrive on time. Late arrival only disturbs the meeting and is not considerate of others who have made the effort to be on time. PLEASE do not come if you are sick! Stay home and take care of yourself. If you miss a meeting, you can review the five “Survival Points” and three “Take Home Tips” in your Personal Survival Guide or make arrangements to view the missed show with your group facilitator. PLEASE listen attentively to each person as a sign of respect. Avoid side conversations. PLEASE be sensitive to dominating the conversation. Monopolizing the meeting over details of your divorce deprives someone else of the much-­‐needed chance to share. PLEASE refrain from male or female bashing. You can cry, whine, complain, and get mad all you want! PLEASE do not attack your ex-­‐spouse’s character. Use good judgment when sharing and never call him or her names, even in “jest.” Please do not attack anyone’s character. Instead of “I hate that judge!” consider instead something like “I hate what happened to me in court!” PLEASE do not TALK OVER others, cut them off, or correct anyone. PLEASE don’t teach, preach, or give advice. Unless you are an attorney, therapist, spiritual director, or catechist—then please go ahead and offer generic information if it is helpful to the group. PLEASE do share what you feel is wise counsel from your own experience. Some groups don’t allow peers to give each other advice, but we encourage limited sharing/suggesting in a loving way. PLEASE do ask questions. You have the right to share, to ask, and even to remain silent if you don’t feel like sharing. PLEASE do offer suggestions only when appropriate but avoid the phrases “You should” or “You need to.” PLEASE do not bring handouts to pass to others that your facilitator has not first approved. PLEASE do not ask to borrow the DVDs. Your parish may purchase a second set for lending purposes, or you can ask the facilitator if it’s possible to make arrangements for you to view a missed show. You can also purchase your own set for personal use at home. Please keep confidentiality. You never know who you can hurt by talking outside the group. Please COME BACK to subsequent sessions as our guest. One of the benefits of returning is that you can receive new insights from the DVDs the second time around because you will be in a different place in your recovery. You can also bless others by bringing hope and encouragement to the new people! Thank you! Confidentiality Agreement In order to create safe and respectful group dynamics and to protect my own confidentiality and that of others, each participant is asked to read and sign this form when they register for the group. As a participant in the Catholic’s DIVORCE SURVIVAL Guide Program, I am encouraged to: ✓ Make every effort to attend each meeting, both as a help for myself and to support the other group members. ✓ Give the group the respect of showing up on time each week. ✓ Be a good listener and share my experiences and opinions when appropriate. ✓ Never shame, condemn, or otherwise attack the character of any group member. ✓ Stay in touch with group members where I feel I can get or give support. ✓ Not interfere in the recovery and healing of other group members by dating or developing a romantic relationship with another member of the group during the course of the program. ✓ Begin to develop a deeper personal relationship with God and allow the Holy Spirit to work in all areas of my life. ✓ Pray individually for the members of the group, leaders, and their families. As a participant, I am required to: ✓ Maintain confidentiality within the group, unless with a professional counselor or priest. ✓ Refrain from spouse, ex-­‐spouse, male or female “bashing.” I agree to the terms and conditions encouraged and required above: _______________________________________________________________ Name Date End of Session Survey Date ____________ Thank you for participating in the CDSG group! Please complete this short survey to help us improve for future groups. Use the back if necessary. Thank you for your honest feedback. Name (optional) ________________________________ THE DVD SERIES What did you like best and why? Who was your favorite expert and why? Who was your favorite divorced person and why? Who did you like the least and why? What could be improved? THE GROUP IN GENERAL What did you like best about the group experience and why? What could be improved? What topics would you like to see covered in more depth? Did you get what you expected from the group? Why or why not? What Church teachings still present some problem for you? Would you like to make an appointment with a priest? Would you like more information about the annulment process? What else can we do to help you or your family at this time? Please return this completed form to your facilitator. Thank you! SAMPLE BULLETIN / PULPIT ANNOUNCEMENTS These may also be used in the local Catholic newspaper or other community advertising opportunities. DIVORCED? The Catholic’s DIVORCE SURVIVAL Guide twelve-­‐week group begins (date) at (time) in the (room) in the parish hall (or other location). Cost of ($) per person includes a “Personal Survival Guide,” refreshments and all materials for twelve weeks. Find comfort and counsel consistent with Catholic teachings. Call (name) at (phone #), email (email address) or go to (parish web page). Is anyone in YOUR family DIVORCED? There’s NO SUCH THING AS CATHOLIC DIVORCE . . . but Catholics DO civilly divorce. Give someone a copy of this bulletin or invite them to The Catholic’s DIVORCE SURVIVAL Guide twelve-­‐week group which begins (date) at (time) in the (room) in the parish hall (or other location). Cost of ($) per person includes a “Personal Survival Guide,” refreshments and all materials for twelve weeks. Find comfort and counsel consistent with Catholic teachings. Call (name) at (phone no), email (email address) or go to (parish website). NEW! Catholic’s DIVORCE HEALING Program -­‐ (Parish name) is pleased to announce the beginning of an exciting, new ministry to men and women who have suffered from divorce. The Catholic’s DIVORCE SURVIVAL Guide is a twelve-­‐week program featuring thirty-­‐minute DVD sessions each week that cover topics of shock, denial, anger, grief, guilt, forgiveness, money, the courts, the kids, the ex-­‐spouse, annulment, dating, sexuality, spirituality, remarriage or staying single, and much more. Whether you got divorced ten days ago or ten years ago, the program offers valuable insight for everyone. Call (name) at (phone #), email (email address) or go to (parish web page). (Optional – the following paragraphs can be added to expand any of the ads) Experts in the DVD series include some of the best and brightest teachers, counselors, and authors in Catholic media: Rose Sweet (series producer and author of Healing the Divorced Heart), Dr. Ray Guarendi (Catholic psychologist, author, and EWTN talk show host), Fr. Mitch Pacwa (EWTN host and a child of divorce), Fr. Donald Calloway (Catholic priest, popular speaker, and child of divorce), Christopher West (theologian and teacher of Blessed John Paul II’s Theology of the Body), and Fr. Steve Porter (a Catholic priest and seasoned spiritual director). The DVD series also includes Catholic men and women who share their gut-­‐
wrenching but inspiring stories of divorce and recovery. You will cry, laugh, and be encouraged. PLEASE JOIN US. This program is based on the teachings of the Catholic Church and open to anyone who needs comfort, counsel and clarity after a divorce. QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION (Group Leader Use Only) Remember that the meeting is not designed to be a classroom lecture, catechism class, or a workshop—although there will be dimensions of such in your group. Primarily, hurting people need a safe place to SHARE THEIR STORY, whether or not it relates to the DVD topic. These questions are to help stimulate discussion when there is reluctance to open up, or if you need to get the discussion back on track. PLEASE DON’T ALLOW THESE TO TAKE THE PLACE OF SHARING. These are only a guide . . . and you’re free to use your own questions that would be best for your group. It is sometimes good to ask the group what they most need to discuss and—assuming it is relevant and appropriate—let them share. Then watch God do his work! Session 1 – Getting your bearings What did you like or not like about this presentation? Did you relate to anyone in particular in this presentation? Do you think you are still in shock? How long did it take you to come out of the shock and denial stage? What helped you face reality? Session 2 – Finding right direction What did you like or not like about this presentation? Did you relate to anyone in particular in this presentation? What help did you get right after your divorce? Did you find a good therapist? What was the BEST/ WORST advice you got from someone? Session 3 – Getting through your anger What did you like or not like about this presentation? Did you relate to anyone in particular in this presentation? Are you still angry? Why? Some people rage; some stuff it. Which are you? What still makes you angry? Session 4 – Finding perfect peace What did you like or not like about this presentation? Did you relate to anyone in particular in this presentation? When is the last time you really felt “at peace”? Tell us a physical place where you feel peaceful? What emotion is in the way of you feeling peace? Session 5 – Learning to forgive What did you like or not like about this presentation? Did you relate to anyone in particular in this presentation? Is it easy or difficult for you to forgive...and why? Do you agree that forgiveness is not a feeling? Could you go to your ex and ask for forgiveness? Session 6 – Dealing with your family What did you like or not like about this presentation? Did you relate to anyone in particular in this presentation? What are the biggest fears you have about/for your children? Have you tended to make your kids the center of your life? What is one GOOD thing your ex does as a parent? Session 7 – Handling money wisely What did you like or not like about this presentation? Did you relate to anyone in particular in this presentation? What are your biggest fears about money? Are any of you living on a real budget? What would you do if you got NO child support? When has God taken care of you financially? Session 8 – Finding perfect power What did you like or not like about this presentation? Did you relate to anyone in particular in this presentation? Do you have a court story to share? Have you been able to let go in settling property issues? Has your ex-­‐spouse been generous with you – you with him or her? Do you really trust God to meet your needs? Session 9 – Seeing God in romance What did you like or not like about this presentation? Did you relate to anyone in particular in this presentation? Were you aware of the spousal analogy in Scripture? Have you ever heard of Theology of the Body? What about this topic intrigued you the most? What about this topic made you most uncomfortable? Session 10 – Relearning how to date What did you like or not like about this presentation? Did you relate to anyone in particular in this presentation? Have you learned about the annulment process? Has anyone started dating and gotten their heart broken again? What is holding you back from dating God’s way? Session 11 – Loving all Church teachings What did you like or not like about this presentation? Did you relate to anyone in particular in this presentation? Have you been back to confession after a long time? How was it? What fears are holding you back from confession? What church teachings do you still struggle with accepting? (Facilitators – be ready for this one. Refer the group to Catholic.com and/or have some good apologetic CDs or DVDs on hand) Session 12 – Finding perfect passion What did you like or not like about this presentation? Did you relate to anyone in particular in this presentation? Can you share how you feel when you go to communion? Do you still struggle with trusting God? When and why? Have you ever made love, sex, and marriage a “false idol” that would make you happy and secure? How have you changed from the first day you came to this group? What has God done for you in the last few months? Welcome Parish Facilitator! The healing ministry program you are about to begin has changed countless lives, healed wounded hearts and brought divorced Catholics to a closer relationship with Christ and the Church. Thank you for your leadership in this important and rewarding ministry! This review pack includes the following: 12 Session DVD set Please watch each session before group viewing. For the optimum experience for group members, please make sure you show the discs in order. Leader’s Survival Guide Please take time to read the guide, as it likely will answer some of the questions you already have about the best way to run your group. Personal Guides (Journal) The Personal Guide helps group members actively remember the DVD sessions, process the points that were covered and it gives them a place to make notes and record thoughts or questions. Strongly encourage your participants to use their guide. Group form documents Because of the nature of divorce, small groups require confidentiality and certain etiquette. Please review everything before use. The master forms should be copied and distributed to group participants when they register. Questions for discussion Your group should be less a classroom and more a place to share from the heart. After viewing each DVD session, allow plenty of time for people to vent or share—often the most healing part of the meeting. Use these questions only if the group is silent or reluctant to open up. Promotional files, images, sample bulletin ads, and more! Use these to promote your group. Leader Training Contact Ascension Press to arrange for facilitator training—for those extra insights and tips that don’t come in the Leader’s Guide—or a parish/diocesan seminar/retreat for the divorced. Don’t forget to direct your group attendees to go to the CDSG website for helpful information (common questions and more) at CatholicsDivorce.com. May God richly bless your endeavors! For Information and Materials: For Trainings: Program Consultants 800-­‐376-­‐0520 Tara Cabral 317-­‐603-­‐6199 AscensionPress.com tcabral@ascensionpress.com