oi=40=0=80

~A--~
BE RN AM A
__ __ __ __ __OOO~===========K=DN==N=O=:=OI=40=0=80==_
KELUARAN· SEPTEMBER 1980
Muka
Dari Hati Ke Hati
2
Teeing Off
3
The Life Savers
5
Potpourri
8
Watak Bulan ini
9
Sajak
10
Say a Little Prayer II
Semut alk
12
BERNA fv\A. Z E
Pengarang :
Hashi m Hassan
Penolong Kepad a Penga rang: Sobrey Jaafar
Pemberita Bulan ini : Zahar an Razak
Penye laras:
Norija h Mohd . Noor
I.
DARt HATI KE HATI
Bekas Raja Me~ir, Ma ik Farouk tidak lama selepas digulingkan dari takhta
kerajaanya pernah berkata: "Akhir akhir kelak dunia ini cuma akan ada lima
king (raja) saja/ iaitu King of Hearts (Lekok), King of Diamonds (Deman),
King of Clubs (Kelawar), King of Spades (sepit) dan King of England. II Maksud
huraiannya itu ialah semua negeri yang berpemerintahan beraja akhir-akhirnya
tidak akan beraja kecuali negeri Inggeris (Britain) sahaja. Sedikit sebanyak
ramalannya itu telah didapati betul kerana semenjak dia diturunkan dari takhtanya
dalam tahun 1952 beberapa buah neged yang kepala negerinya saorang raja
telah tidak lagi diketuai oleh saorang raja atau ratu, tetapi oleh saorang presiden
dan seumpamanya.
Tidak berape lama selepas negara kita mencapai kemerdakaan, seorang diplomat
dari sebuah negeri di Asia telah menyatakan kepada YTM Tunku Abdul Rahman,
yang poda masa itu menjadi Perdana Ment'eri, bahwa adalah lebih baik jika
Malaya (belum Malaysia lagi di waktu itu) dijadikan sebuah republik. Dengan
jalan itu, hujjahnya, banyak wang dan belanja dapot dijimatkan kerana Sultan­
sultan, raja-raja dan mereka yang dari keturunan raja tidak lagi pedu dibayar
elaun raja, elaun waris negeri, elaun itu dan elaun ini. Kerajaannya, tambahnya,
telahpun berbuat demikian kepada raja-raja dalam negerinya dan banyak wang
telah dapot diselamatkan. Tunku menjawab kalau begitulah keadaannya bel iau
ingin tahu kemanakah perginya wang yang diselamatkan itu kerana hingga sekarang
1"'~3'"")r: it IT'as! IT':svi!''::Im :l,~"'ha kekl rO-I:J"11
Terbisu Jjplomot itu setelah
mendengar jawapan Tunku itu.
Pada had Kedua Hari Raya Puasa baru-baru in; saya telah pergi ke Istana Negara
untuk herhari raya d'mgan DYM/\J\ Sri Paduka E,agind Yang di ertuan Agung dan
DYMM Sri Paduka Bag:nda ~aia Permaisuri Agung. Soya tiba ?Oda pukul 9 pagi •
Soya fikir saya tiba awol. RUp<J'·rupanya beratus-ratl.ls oran!=! sudah ada beratur
d ihadapan soya menunggu gil iran masing-masing untuk mengadap DYMM berdua
dan bersalam-salaman. Sungguh "ama; ra!:/ot Baginda dan yan:~ bukan rakyat juga
yang pergi ke Is ana Negara pada had itu Llrituk 'l1enyembahkan ucapan Selamat
Had Raya 'ICls,l1g-mashg kepclda DYi'v~M berdu"'.l. Selama lebih enam jam DYMM
berdua berdiri bersalam saorang demi saor ng, kadcng-kadClng berbual-bual sebentar
dengan mereka yang Bagindc bnal (dan banyak pula yang Baginda kenai) dan
menghurut-hurut rambut serto men;entuh-nyentuh ;:,ipi bvdak-bLdak yang datang
menghadC'j) sumbil membf)": n0te ",'ang sedllg~it yang bar:J kepada tiap-tiap saorang
budak itu. 25,198 ol'ong teiah mengun'ungi Istana Negara pada hari itu dan DYMM
Baginda berdua te!ah berjabat salam dengan trap-·tiap saorang mereka itu. Soya
2.
berpendapot kolaulah Almarhum Malik Farouk masih hidup lagi sekarang ini
dan menyaksikan bagaimana Raja kita (dan Permaisurinya) dengan muka yang
manis dan penuh gembira berdiri selama lebih enam jam menjabat 25, 198 tangan
ada kemungkinan besar Malik Farouk akan meminda ramolannya dengan
berkata: "Akhir-okhir kelak dunia ini cuma akan ada enam King sa ja, iaitu
King of Hearts, King of Diamonds, King of Clubs, King of Spades, King of
England and King of Malaysia. II
--
(Pak Hashim Hassan)
*****************
TEEING OFF
A golf fanatic in Petaling Jaya went to consult a bomoh to find out
whether he could play golf in the next world. The bomoh looked
into a bowl of water and after uttering some strange language told
the golfer he should not \;Vorry as then;~ were many beJutiful golf
courses in heaven.
The golfer paid his fee and thanked the bomoh. How happy he was,
he said, to know that he could play golf even after his death. He was
about to leave when the bornoh said: '·Oh yes, I nearly forgot.
You'll be teeing off day after tomorrow. II
****************~.
3.
THE LIFE SAVERS
The month was September 1945. The date, the 2nd. It was the day the Japanese
officially surrendered to the Allied Supreme Command in the Pacific an~ the end
of World War Two.
I was in my hometown, Taiping, when this historical event took place. It was a
moment of great rejoicing for everyone for at last we were free from the three years
and eight months of horrible occupation by the Japanese army. Many were looking
forward to return to a Iife of normalcy under the British, others were thinking of
launching a constitutional struggle against British colonialisam to gain political
independence for Malaya while some others were planning to go into the jungle to
fight the British in order to set up a Ma,layan Communist Republ ic. As a matter of
fact, with the defeat of the Japanese everybody had his or her own plans and dreams
on what they wanted to do when the British re-established their administration in
Malaya.
A few weeks before the end of hosti lities there had been rumours that the Japanese
occupation currency would cease to have any legal tender once the Japanese had
surrendered. I thought this was understandable and unavoidable in vi ew of the fact
that the Japanese had been indiscriminately printing their "banana" paper money
(so called because of a picture of a banana tree on the note) by the tons. A few
months before the surrender the cost of 1iving had shot up so high that it was not
possible for an office worker to make both ends mee~ u le.ss hE; did some extra work,
legal or illegal, on the sideline. For example, a kod of rice in August 1945
in Taiping and Ipoh cost $75/-. In Dec'3mber 1941 it cost only about 8 cents.
An aspirin tablet in August 1945 cost $8/- and it cost only I~ cents in December
1941. A foreign-mode bicycle tyre COS)' $3/500/-' in August 1945 and one could
buy the same brand for only $1 .75 ir: December 1941. A 60-watt electric bulb
was priced at $210/- each in August 1945 whereas it cost only 45 cents in December
1941. One had to pay $1,000/- for a locally~made man's shirt in August 1945
whereas such a shirt was worth only $1.50 just before the Japanese air aid on
Pearl Harbour on December 7 r 1941.
On August 10, 1945, the day the Japanese Emperor decided to accept the surrender
terms put before him by the Allied Command, I hod with me about r:ve thousand
Japanese dollars. And by the time the surrender terms were signed by the
representatives of the Emperor on board the U. S. S. vUssouri before Genera I Douglas
Mac Arl'hur at Tokyo Bay, the amount had dwindled down to $55/-, what with the
cost of rice shooting up to $100/-;) kaH, then to $150/-:hcn to $200/- and up
and up and up. I was in a dilemma. Our eldest chi Id i Rohani, was a year old
4.
then and aport from .her mother's milk, which was not much, she had to be helped
with locally-made condensed milk which cost $30/- a cigarette tin. I I/Ifas already
out of a job then. My Japanese employers were more concerned about their
immediate safety and what would happen to them after the British troops· had landed
that theyquickly retrenched us. Then the British, the Gurkhas, the [)ogras, and the
rest of Mountbatten troops entered Taiping. Everyone was happy. At last there
was peace, sanity, normalcy and, hopefully, democracy. But with it came also
the much-dreaded bombshell. The returned troops announced that the Japanese
currency had no legal tender. In simple language it had no value. Only the pre­
Japanese occupation Malayan currency was acceptable. Now, where would I
find that kind of money after almost four years of occupation? I wouldn't mind
facing hunger but what about my wife and baby? They didn't 'Jeserve to suffer.
Why should these two innocent, simple human beings be mad~ to go through all
these sufferings as a result of imperialistic wars between greedy colonial powers,
I asked myself. As I was trying to answer this question and at the same time looking
at my wife on a chair and my baby in a cradle I heard the sweetest and the most
beautiful news in all the three years and eight months of misery. My wife had
just said: "Don't worry, la '. Saya ada tiga ringgit note British". It seemed that
she had been hiding the money during the entire period of the Japanese occupation ­
a secret which she had shared with no one. She had to be as secretive as all that
because anyone caught keeping British currency during the occupation could have
his or her head chopped off.
The dilemma was now over. And with that three dollars we boughtat the December
1941 price rice, sugar, salt, cooking oil, cigarettes and condensed milk for the
baby enough to last us for about a month unti I I found myself a temporary job.
Thirty five years haVE: passed since thul' September day in 1945 and the three dollar
notes too must surely have been withdrawn from circulat:on. But they a~e three
life-saving paper ringgit:> that my wife and I still talk about each time we walk
down memory lane. -- Hashim Hassan.
**********************
5,
POTPOURRI
Frustrated wife to husband: IICome again?1I
*********************
Same wife, an hour later: "Abang, are you coming or going? II
*********************
Behind every successful man, there's an astonished mother-in-law
*********************
Equal rights for women: A Miss is as good as a Male.
**********************
A Groupie is a Girl whose eyes drop only long after her knickers do.
*********************
A C-teaser is a girl who is always brushing imaginary NASI TUMPAH
off men's trousers but won't sin for her supper.
*********************
Demythologise is a pretty long word but the T-shirt brigade came clo::;e
to it with this emblazoned on: Just when I think I knew all of life1s
answers, they change the questions.
********************
6.
Bio-data of a deserted beautiful woman:
Born in Pekan.
Attended Sekolah Rendah in Pekan.
Colleged in Seremban.
Failed to matriculate in London.
Met future husband in Malaysia Hall •
Got married in Pekan.
Got pregnant, and cramped, in a Porsche.
Got a whiff of the other woman in Brussels.
Got back to Pekan in tears,
Took vengeance in Jakarta.
Opened a boutique in Ulu Klang Complex,
Bliss in Tin Mine,
Heard inCa mera ,
Divorced in Klang.
**********************
Signed a well-endowed, Dean's list who has enough brain to realise her
chief asset is her body and not it: 'When I marry the little that I have
will disappear altogether, and the much that I have will no longer be mine,"
**********************
Nampaknya pemain bolosepak pasukan pentadbiran telah menepati janjinya
untuk mencukur misai jika pasukannya kolah dengan Pasukan Pengarang,
Pasukan pengarang menewaskan pasukan pentadbiran 7-2 dalam perlawanan
persahabatan yang diadakan tidak lama dulu, - Pemerhati,
*******************
7.
Tonniah diucapkankepada Saudara Oi'nar (Che Ciu) Ahmad yang akan
naik pelamin pedo 7 September bersoma Saudari Ainon Abu Bokor, bekas
petugas BERNAMA. Muga-muga bahagia.
1
IJ.J •
L
•
*********w*********
Tahzioh kepada Saudara Jaafar Abu Samah yang kehilangan anak sulongnya
baru-boru ini. Putra beliau meninggal setelah sebulan dilahirkan.
*******************
Saudara Effendi Ariffin Ketuo Biro di Kuching telah ke New Delhi, India
untuk menjalani kursus Diploma in News Agency Journalism selama lapan
bulan, mulai bulan ini di bawah anjoran Rancangan Colombo. Ketika
pemergian beliau Saudara S. M. Yusoff memegang teraju di Kuching.
*******************
Duo orang juru-gambar BERNAMA akan merintis jalan fotographi di Malaysia
Timor bulan ini. Manon Haji Ahmad akan bertugas di Biro Kota Kinabolu
sementara Adnan Hajj Hassan akan bertugas di Biro Kuching. Kepada mereka
berdua diucapkan selamat bertugas.
*******************
8 .
WATAK BULAN INI
~
Sekali dulu basikal (tua) dicuri orang. Secepat itu pula teman-teman di
BERNAMA melancarkan derma kilat sehingga membolehkan dia membeli
basikal baru untuk datang bertugas.
Kemudian dia membeli rnotosikal. Baru-baru lalu rnotosikal itu pula dicuri
orang. Tetapi berkat tabahnya, rnotosikal itu dapot dijejak semula.
Itulah antara kenangan yang sentiasa tidak luput diingatan K. Selvaraj,
29, petugas yang telah bertugas sebelum BERNAMA lahir secara rasmi •
Oia lebih dikenali sebagai Raju, yang pernah bertugas sebagai budak pejabat,
machine operator dan kini di bahagian hantaran di Ibu Pejabat BERNAMA .
Raju tidak banyak kerenah. Raju sporting. Raju best. Raju tidak pernah
abaikan tugasnya.
Oemikian antara banyak pendapat mereka yang pernah mengenali Raju
Kata Cik Zainon, salah seorang pemberita BERNAMA yang akan bertugas di
Kuching kalau disuruh Raju membel i goreng pisang pun dia sanggup.
Ketiko zaman bujangnya, Raju memang terkenal dikalangan teman-teman
yang hendak mengadakan majlis sosial. Waktu itu kepada Raju lah ditugaskan
untuk menjadi "bar-man".
Seperti orang lain juga, Raju menyimpan hasrat untuk meningkat ke tempat yang
lebih atas.
Menurutnya, dia ingin bertugas di bahagian telex atau menjadi operator telefon
kerana dia mempunyai kebolehan di dalam kedua bidang yang disebutkan itu.
Raju sudah lama menetap di BERNAMA dan semangat "kebernamaan"nya itu
tidak pernah luntur dan terus segar sesegar kasihnyd pada Devanai tercinta,
isterinya dan Selvam dan Visvanathan duo cahaya matanya.
--- 01.
******************
9.
SAJAK
M~~ENUNO
- -
REMANG NYA ROMA
-
S@§Ylud MgmiJ\gh Sal'li@t Tg~iyd
Jlk@ Subuh M@F@neK@K Jgtyh
S@murnl Ralic:J K@~@WQ HiI~u,,,
S@t1dYr~tn
CUffl@ Tlgqf.l InBeltan
hfJmpaul b)ua Retkf.lQtSun -t
lerona Alflfll Begelket" SlOR9
Sinor Hotl BCl9Qikon Purnomo BvlQn.
Kilouanlah Sotu Jasad
Dipendakian
Menujah Dan Menakik
Bebatu Pejal Mencari Mamar
Untuk Hiyasan Si Komar Hati
Miharbi/80
********************
SETAPAK HA TI (BUAT ILIAS)
Semacam Memalu Pada Ketukan
Jua Sejengkol Rasa Tobie
Meluah Rasa Jodi Biasa
Meluah Hati Di Had Mati
Miharbi. 26 June 80.
10.,
SAY A LITTLE PRAYER
NIght Crlmtt .port.r l , Pray.r:
o my lord,
Thou art the Compa•• lonat., tn, MercIful. I pray to th••
brIng not the fir. tonight, 'nor hurl the .Inn ra from th.'r motorcycl,.,
nor ca.u.e a'bungalow In Caman.ara to b. burgl.d. For toni nt, 0 Lord,
I. th,' FA Cup Flnalahowlng on the telly. Would that the .Inn ra In the
Club HOUII, 0 Lord, stop platerlng ml to loIn them In theIr games.
And tomorrow I have en 8.30 Q .m. assIgnment. Have on mercy on thIs
abdu1, Q rd.
'
w._*******************
. Prayer· for a reporter stru'ggling with a press release:
o
Messenger of God, say to the struggling reporter: IIHave We not
given him two eyes, a tongue, and two lips, and shown him what is
right and what is wrong?" We have given him the whole of the morning
and it is now well into the day's decline. Verily we will bring him
to account.
**********************
An outstation stringer phoning late results from a roadside booth trying
to be heard above the screech of the cicadas, not to mention the mosquitoes
attacking his legs, may start to say this little prayer on hearing "c hange
peper II at the other end of the line:
*t@l-*$?@ci~%+( )
=
I.
II.
~--
s·e
fM I
._-_ .•.
----_.
u
y«.l "~ i
. .1;.
/
.". • .. It'•• ~. "....
k... 'f'tA't"
V\
~ k S;l\ &M.f"'u.
s ~ to fAlAIl •• • fp", p~ 115-..
M"l:Atl1 - wt ..
c......
Ittal. .