The Palatine Guide

The Palatine
Guide
To Otherworldly Creatures
The Palatine Council
of Otherworldly Creatures
has certified the entities
herein as posing a grave
threat to human beings
around the world. This
document has been
produced by Paranormal
Demonology experts under
the auspices of the New York
Division of the Guard.
Top Secret
By order of Abraham Holtzman,
this document will self-destruct upon removal
from the Manhattan offices of the Palatine Guard
Popular Demon
Hangouts (NYC)
Concubine Lounge
(formerly owned by
Dimitri Antonescu)
Magnolia Bakery
(some demons suffer
from a debilitating
cupcake addiction)
Olive Garden in
Times Square
(lots of edible tourists)
1
2
Lorem Ipsum Dolor
Guide to Otherworldly Creatures
Spring 2016
Palatine Security Protocol: Top Secret
El Chupacabra
Fresh Water Monsters
Visual: A dog-like creature with the
personality of a wild boar usually spotted in
the Southern Hemisphere.
Known Facts: When vampires cannot find a
human blood source, they communicate
telepathically with Chupacabras and convince
them to attack animals. As Chupacabras
exsanguinate an animal, they drain the blood
into a compartment in their mouths and take it
back to their vampire master.
Visual: A cross between a whale and a
dragon, the Fresh Water Monster
(commonly known as Loch Ness) has been
seen in lakes around the world, most
prominently in Scotland.
Known Facts: This creature is relatively
harmless as long as she is left alone.
Palatine Guard members have had to
intervene when Nessie has been angered
by tourists seeking to photograph her.
Melvin's Tips
For Photographing
The Paranormal
1. Remain calm and do not disturb the
entity. Digital photography is preferred.
Paranormal Photographer Profile:
Melvin Von Meestermeyer is a
third generation paranormal
photographer for the Guard. He is
most famous for being the first to
photograph the New Jersey Devil.
He lives in Astoria, Queens.
2. Some creatures (Incubi and Succubi
in particular) are known for their
extreme vanity and may agree to be
photographed if you engage in flattery.
3. Vampire dogs are great companions
for photographers who want to
document the existence of demons
2
disguised
as humans.
Lorem Ipsum Dolor
Guide to Otherworldly Creatures
Spring 2016
Palatine Security Protocol: Top Secret
Mermaids
Shapeshifters
Visual: Mermaids are aquatic creatures.
They have the head and torso of a woman
and the tail of a fish. Though they often
appear as attractive women, don't let that
fool you! Underneath the disguise lurks a
frightening and vicious being that looks
more like the entity photographed above in
1988 by Melvin Von Meestermeyer II.
Visual: Due to the variety of disguises that
Shapeshifters use, it is impossible to
photographically document their
appearance. Virtually any human may
actually be a Shapeshifter, which is why
these demons are so difficult to monitor or
capture.
Known facts: It is unclear whether
Shapeshifters always transform voluntarily.
There is evidence in the Palatine archives of
a centuries-old war between clans of
Shapeshifters in the Western United States.
At least one of the clans seems to possess the
ability to cast a spell on members of enemy
groups, transforming them into undesirable
vessels like chickens or vermin. It is
unknown how prevalent this practice is or
how the ability to cast such spells may have
evolved. What is known is that when
Shapeshifters take on a new form
involuntarily, they are often unable to return
to their previous shape. One Shapeshifter
who was turned into a cow in a battle with a
rival clan was so distraught that he went
voluntarily to the slaughterhouse.
Known Facts: Mermaids have enchanting
voices, and they often sing to humans to lure
them into traps. They have been known to
entice swimmers into dangerous ocean
currents. Once a victim drowns, hordes of
Mermaids swarm to feast on the corpse.
Mermaids are also fond of sailors. Several
men have disappeared from vessels in the
North Atlantic. Their bodies have not been
recovered.
Speculations Under Investigation:
It is thought that a rare species of Mermaid
may live in fresh water. Guard members in
the Great Lakes Region are currently
investigating reports of Mermaid sightings
in Lake Michigan.
3
Lorem Ipsum Dolor
Guide to Otherworldly Creatures
Spring 2016
Palatine Security Protocol: Top Secret
Unicorns
Zombies
PLEASE NOTE: Unicorns are now extinct. The
last known evidence of their existence was in
350 B.C. The above photograph is a notorious
FAKE. It was manipulated, in 1990, using a
primitive version of Photoshop by Simon
Drake. Drake made a career selling doctored
photos of paranormal creatures to amateur
Paranormal Demonologists who didn't know
any better. This is why the Palatine Guard
requires that all hunters take and pass a
course on Photograph and Video Hoax
Detection before they can be allowed into the
field. (Incidentally, Simon Drake's forgeries
are now worth a lot of money to collectors who
considers him a great artist.)
Visual: Zombies were people. This is
what distinguishes them from other
creatures and makes them so
disturbing. A Zombie might look like
your grandmother. But it is important
to remember that, even if a Zombie
looks like your grandmother, she is
no longer that loving person who
made cookies and knitted sweaters.
She is a ruthless, flesh-eating
monster whose former compassion,
kindness, and maternal instinct has
been replaced by a singular impulse
to eat your brains. Don't be fooled!
Known Facts About Possible
Coming Zombie Apocalypse:
What To Do If You Think You Are The
Victim of a Paranormal Hoax:
1) Zombification is caused by a virus.
1) Do not accuse the perpetrator
yourself.
2) Teenagers and pets may not be
vulnerable to Zombie virus.
2) Call your supervisor in the
Manhattan office immediately.
3) Slow-moving Zombies are a
cinematic fiction. All evidence
suggests that Zombies move at
lightning speeds.
3) Detain the hoaxer if possible.
4) Zombies prefer brain matter, but
they can survive on human flesh.
4) Confiscate the hoaxer's photography
and/or video equipment.
4