Hash Scribe No. 713 - Koh Samui Hash House Harriers

The
Trash - Run 713
On a hot glorious day we met on the borders of Eco Village, soon to be renamed
Jurassic Park. 45 or so hashers gathered for what promised to be the most
recent run we have had.
On hearing that such a prestigious group of athletes were about to embark on
the hills of western Koh Samui, the Minister for Safety for the Nathon Safety
Council upgraded security and had the roads around the site cleared from
6:15pm ‘till 7:00pm, paying the Lipa Noi Council of Gas Lighters to ensure street
lights would be on for the duration of the mass exit after the circle.
The Hares were The Wee & The Bigger Yin. After a little to'ing and fro'ing and
some Hare guidance, we managed to find the trail and set off into the hills.
Were there hills? Yes. Were there tracks? Yes. Were there river beds? Yes a
few, but unfortunately the river beds were mainly dry due to a lack of recent
rain.
Firstly Mo “Not Cummin’” Farah was keeping a diligent eye out for the trail when
the footpath jumped up in front of her and deliberately tripped her causing her
to take a serious tumble shattering her kneecap, breaking her collarbone, and
knocking her unconscious (thank god, a little silence at last and hopefully
confusion about her inch of rock).
First on the scene was the Minister for Safety, Piss Bowl who abused her for
not singing his song and then ran on. When we arrived we offered to call an
ambulance but Mo “Not Cummin’” Farah said she would push on and true to her
“A” Grade status within minutes was at the lead of the pack.
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Nearing the end of the run a pair of runners were confronted by a couple of locals
on a souped up Honda Click who asked them if they were interested in fun and travel
(actually the way they put it was F*** OFF).
We were then passed by I Know Nothing on the on in who was belly aching about the
length of the trail and how poorly it had been set. Turns out Where’s Wally had
slipped past her and she was really pissed off. In actual fact the trail was really well
set with false trails and back checks bringing the front runners back to the tail
enders on many occasions and everyone finishing within a few hours of each other.
Magic. Dipstick & Wobbly Wobbly would have been proud of such a wonderful trail.
Needless to say Vegemite & the Red Slapper had decided to inspect the Jurassic
Park and report back to the next committee meeting set for March 2017 as to
whether or not Eco Village was a future no go area.
Apparently the circle for once was great with a return of the one and only Forest
Dump. He was right royally welcomed back as a returner and he didn’t pitch up for
the leavers down, down. So who knows, maybe 27 consecutive Soi 1 hash trails over
the next few months as he fills in for our totally confusing hareline. I’ve been
bribed by many this week to be gentle, so gentle I’ve been.
It’s rumored we have one of our 9 (an auspicious number) deputy GM’s arriving back
next week.
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