Summer 09 Edition

healing hearts
newsletter
Welcome to the Summer Issue of ‘Healing Hearts’ the
quarterly newsletter from Bears Of Hope.
We welcome all the newly bereaved parents and hope
that you can find some comfort and peace.
Comfort & Healing for Broken Hearts
Bears Of Hope offers support and guidance for parents who have experienced the loss of
their baby during Pregnancy, Birth or Infancy. Through the purchase of a ‘Sophie’ Bear,
Bears Of Hope provides parents with the comfort of knowing they are not alone from the
very beginning, and offers significant ongoing support to heal their broken hearts. This
includes loss through miscarriage, genetic interruption, multiple loss, stillbirth, neo-natal &
infant death.
Welcome
What an incredible few months it has been for
Bears Of Hope. Thank you so much to everyone
who has made donations or attended one of
our fundraising events, we are truly grateful for
your support and helping us to reach more and
more families facing loss. We have many goals
over the next 12 months and are very excited
about being able to achieve them through the
generosity of each of you. We look forward to
a year ahead filled with hope & healing.
For many of you this month may be the most
challenging one in the year, December –
Christmas, a time for family, joy & happiness.
For those newly bereaved or facing your first
Christmas without your precious baby our
thoughts are with you. Our hope for you is that
you are surrounded by family and friends full of
understanding and support as you face this
time with so many what ifs and what should’ve
beens. For me, I have always found including
~Jesse~ in our day very fulfilling. Whilst I wish
every day that he was here and it was
different, I know that all the wishes in the world
wont bring him back, so I focus on
remembering him and how much love we
have for him. ~Jesse~ has a bauble that sits
proudly at the top of our tree right below the
angel on top, we used to have a star atop our
tree but the year ~Jesse~ was born we
replaced that with an angel. There are always
bears under our tree to donate in his honour
and my parents always remember their
Grandson with a donation for Bears in his
honour under their tree too, it means so much
to me when others remember him. Each year I
try and find something small to add to our
memory collection and I usually find something
Summer 2009
In This Issue
Page 2
* Support Services
Page 3
* Event Calendar
* Contact Us
* Christmas Picnic
* Memorial Services
Page 4 & 5
* Charity Ball
Page 6
* Charity Ball
* Introducing ‘Sophie’
Page 7
* Ham & Turkey Fundraising
* Vanags Charity Night
Page 8
perfect without even looking…it’s like it always * Coping with Christmas
finds me!
Toni and her daughter Isabella have a
beautiful day at ~Jacinta & Madelin’s~ resting
place. They visit the cemetery with tinsel and
Christmas ornaments and spend time making
their garden sparkle. A special candle is the
centre piece at Christmas lunch and dinner
that is lit to honour all of her 7 little ones no
longer here. Each of those 7 have their own
bauble on the Christmas tree and each year
they like to add something new to honour
them. Toni’s parents also donate bears in
honour of their Grandchildren making sure that
everyone is included in the day.
It can be a difficult time for many people, we
all grieve so differently and for many, just
having to talk about your loss can be too
much. If you are finding you are needing more
support or wanting something from a family
member or friend…perhaps talk to them, or if
that’s a little too hard then sometimes being
able to write your thoughts and feelings down
can help. Many people don’t know what to do
or say and often they just say nothing, this
doesn’t mean they don’t care, just they are
uncertain of what to do. There are tips on our
website for family and friends and also some
beautiful poetry that may help you find peace
on Christmas Day.
Page 9
* Christmas in Heaven
* Christmas Angels
Page 10
* A Subsequent Pregnancy
* Garden of Angels
Page 11
* A Parent’s Story
Page 12
* Facebook & Twitter
* Mailbag
Page 13
* Support & Donations
* Personalised Memory
Bracelets
* Book Reviews
Page 14-16
* Messages of Love
Page 17
* Donations
* Volunteers
* Subscriptions
Hope to fill your heart
Hope sees the invisible,
feels the intangible,
and achieves the
impossible
Be kind to yourselves and know that together
our little ones are celebrating and would want
us to also.
With hope,
Amanda & Toni
www.bearsofhope.org.au
Support, Scrap & Chat
New Support Groups
Support, Scrap & Chat nights are held monthly where you can meet
other bereaved parents, talk with others that may have had a similar
experience and to scrapbook memories of your little angel. You do not
need experience in scrapbooking and you are welcome to attend for
support and chat as there is no obligation to scrapbook.
Dubbo
This group is open to all parents
who have experienced the loss
of their baby before, during or
after birth. It is held every 4
weeks.
Venue: CWA Hall
Address: 83 Wingewarra Street
Dubbo
Time: 7:00pm
Date:17 December 2009,
14 January 2010
RSVP: Mel on 0407 967 529 or
email
krisandmel@bigpond.com
Ang on 02 68853867
Grandparents welcome.
Light supper provided
There is a $7.50 fee per person payable to the store to cover their costs
of opening just for Bears Of Hope.
There is an option for dinner ($10 per head) at your own cost.
Support, Scrap & Chat nights are held the first Friday of every month
starting Friday 5 February 2010, 6.30pm-10.30pm at Fantasia Bella Vista
(where the M2 meets M7) Unit H145, 24-32 Lexington Drive, Bella Vista
NSW 2153. Please note there will be no groups in December or January.
Directions - http://www.fantasia.com.au/directions_bellavista.htm
Information or to RSVP, please email Amanda@bearsofhope.org.au
“I went to the scrap & chat night on Friday night and there's something
really settling, peaceful, even uplifting about meeting with these mums that
we chat with online. I was really nervous about going alone and I think
everyone could see that when I arrived but it was such an awesome night
and it kind of feels like everyone's strength gets pooled together and then
you get an equal portion when it's time to leave. I walked out feeling way
stronger then I have in months and that same peacefulness stayed with me
for Oliver's 5 months anniversary” – Tanya, Leichhardt.
Please note there may be other bereaved mums that are in a subsequent
pregnancy that attend. This is an informal gathering of bereaved parents –
neither Bears Of Hope, its management nor its members will be liable for any
damages whatsoever arising out of, or in any way related to the evening
Shoalhaven & Canberra
From Febuary 2010 there will be
support nights in the
Shoalhaven area and
Canberra. Further information
will be available once
confirmation of dates and
venues are available. To
register your interest please
email
Amanda@bearsofhope.org.au
Support Services
We now offer home visits in
Sydney selected areas and the
Bears Of Hope have established five online support groups. We Hunter Region, and Coffee &
encourage you to join and make connections to help you find comfort Chat Mornings currently in
and healing during this time. We hope these support groups will create Singleton. We are looking to
strengthen our support services
an inner peace and strength as you progress through your grief.
by expanding support groups
across NSW and the ACT. If you
For Mums
would like to donate your time
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/bearsofhope
and set up a support group or
coffee & chat mornings in your
For Dads
local area, please email
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/bearsofhopedads
contact@bearsofhope.org.au.
Online Support Groups
For Pregnancy After Loss
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/bearsofhopepals
For Parenting After Loss - NEW GROUP
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/bearsofhopeparentingafterloss
For Family & Friends
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/bearsofhopefamilyandfriends
Summer 2009
2
The mention of my child's name
may bring tears to my eyes,
But it never fails to bring music
to my ears.
If you are really my friend,
let me hear the beautiful music
of his name.
It soothes my broken heart, and
sings to my soul.
Author Unknown
www.bearsofhope.org.au
2009/2010
Events Calendar
Friday 4 December
Memorial Service - Sydney
Sunday 6 December
Memorial Service - Coffs Harbour
Sunday 13 December
Bears Of Hope Christmas Picnic
Thursday 17 December
Dubbo Support Group
Thursday 14 January
Dubbo Support Group
Friday 5 February
Support, Scrap & Chat Night
Friday 5 March
Support, Scrap & Chat Night
Friday 2 April
Support, Scrap & Chat Night
Friday 7 May
Support, Scrap & Chat Night
Christmas Picnic
You're invited to our 2009 Picnic in the Park
Join us for a picnic or BBQ lunch on Sunday 13th December 2009 at
Rouse Hill Regional Park, Sydney. Each year, Bears Of Hope is holding a
family and friends Christmas picnic lunch. Parents, grandparents, siblings,
family and friends all welcome!
Date: Sunday 13th December 2009
Venue: Rouse Hill Regional Park
Address: Worcester Rd, Rouse Hill
Time: From 10:30am
In Honour Of Your Baby
On the day, you may like to purchase Sophie, our Bear Of Hope, to
donate in honour of your baby at Christmas time. Buy as a gift or donate
to another family through our program.
We will provide the tags for you to write your angel’s name inside and
attach to your teddy.
What to bring
Picnic or BBQ lunch - We will have a BBQ there on the day if you would
like to use it. Blankets, chairs
RSVP
Toni@bearsofhope.org.au
Please note we will place on our website by 9am if the event is cancelled due to bad weather.
Friday 4 June
Support, Scrap & Chat Night
Remembrance, Consolation & Hope 2009
Saturday 25 September
Bears Of Hope Charity Ball
The service is open to those who have experienced the loss of a child or
grandchild following miscarriage, stillbirth, death in a newborn period or
death of an older child.
Contact Us
Website
www.bearsofhope.org.au
Online Support Group
http://
health.groups.yahoo.com/
group/bearsofhope
Contact Details
Toni Tattis
Ph: 0400 475 012
Toni@bearsofhope.org.au
Amanda Bowles
Ph: 0439 643 203
Amanda@bearsofhope.org.au
PO Box 352
Stanhope Gardens NSW 2768
We will come together to acknowledge the uniqueness and wonder of
each life, to share the sadness at our loss and to offer compassion and
encouragement to others who grieve. Families will be invited to record
their children’s names in a book of remembrance, which will be kept in
the Mater Hospital chapel. Refreshments will be provided following the
service.
Children are welcome but should remain seated with their parents throughout
the service.
Date: Friday 4 December 2009
Time: 7.30pm
Place: St Mary’s Catholic Church, Miller & Ridge St, North Sydney
(Parking adjacent to the church)
RSVP:
By 1 December 2009 to Darlene and Jenny on 9900 7675
During the service photographs of the children or other associated images will be
projected onto screens within the church. If you would like to provide a digital image of
your child please email it to Deb de Wilde at peterbarr@bigpond.com by 1 Dec 2009.
Christmas Remembrance Service
Coffs Harbour
Date: Sunday 6th December
Editor
Time: 3pm
Lynn Jenkins
Venue: Reflection Room at Coffs Harbour Health Campus
editor@bearsofhope.org.au
(enter hospital via main entrance and turn left)
If you have any suggestions of articles or
Vikki at Pregnancy Care Service 6656 5300
poems or would like to tell your story, we RSVP:
welcome you to email us.
Afternoon tea will be provided
Summer 2009
3
www.bearsofhope.org.au
Inaugural Charity Ball
The inaugural Bears Of Hope Ball was an outstanding
success with over $18,000 funds raised for the charity last
month.
Over 150 guests ate, drank,
laughed, danced, cried
and partied the night away
at the ball held in honour of
the non-profit organisation
that
helps
deal
with
Pregnancy and Infant Loss.
Whilst the night was still young, the tempo was raised with
the auction items on display. Our brilliant auctioneer,
Scott, made a very entertaining and successful live
auction. From handbags to BBQs to holiday destinations,
the bidding was competitive and frantic. The one item to
raise the bar – or pole so to speak – was the pole dancing
classes and lingerie which one lucky husband was able to
secure for his wife.
The highlight for the evening was a special candle lighting
ceremony honouring the loss of the children of Bears Of
Hope members.
For several
minutes the ballroom looked
amazing as it was illuminated
by a sea of candles whilst a
tribute was displayed on the
big screens. There wasn’t a
dry eye in the room when the
entertainer for the night,
The Isaac Show, performed a special song “Over The
Rainbow”.
“The success of the ball means
that Bears Of Hope can now
work on a couple of projects to
provide pregnancy and infant
loss education and awareness
throughout NSW and the ACT
community,” said Amanda.
It was then left to Isaac to continue to swoon us during the
rest of the night as the action moved to the dance floor.
An incredible job he did in setting the ambience for the
TV Star and Bears Of Hope Ambassador, Rebecca
night.
George, was our superb MC for the night which was held
at Courtside Function & Events Centre Sydney Olympic Special thanks to everyone that had the courage to
attend and support our night, it was amazing to have so
Park on October 10.
many attend. Our MC Rebecca George did the most
Amanda Bowles, co-director of Bears of Hope, said that
wonderful job and the night just wouldn’t have been the
she was ecstatic with the outcome of the ball as her
same without her. A special thanks to our donators who
primary goal was to simply raise awareness.
provided us with fantastic prizes enabling us to raise far
“We were thrilled! It was an amazing night shared with the beyond what Bears Of Hope could have wished for. With
wonderful support and generosity of family, friends and over $18,000 raised on the night, a great launch pad has
businesses,” she said.
been set for the program in the coming years.
“The candle lighting was an uplifting and moving
moment,” said Amanda.
The ball also saw the announcement of the exclusive Bear
Of Hope called Sophie. Since inception, the organisation
dreamed of developing their very own bear and it was a
special moment to see their dreams become a reality.
The very first Sophie Bear was presented to Kylie and
Adrian Raftery, whose fundraising efforts inspired the
naming of the bear after their daughter.
Now that is something that all
who
attended
should
be
especially proud of.
Toni Tattis & Amanda Bowles
Make sure you are there next year, 25th September, to
help make a difference.
Thank you to the following people for making our night
a success:
MC - Rebecca George
Performer - The Isaac Show
Auctioneer - Scott
Function Coordinator - Febienne
Table Sponsorship
Labecs Financial Services
“Sophie’s memory will now TravelEdge
live on through each Bear Of
Hope,” said Toni Tattis, codirector for Bears of Hope.
Toni Tattis and Amanda Bowles with
Kylie Pace and Kylie and Adrian
Raftery
Rebecca George with
Amanda Bowles
Thank you to LABECS Financial Services Pty Ltd for helping sponsor the main table:
LABECS Financial Services Pty Ltd has a vision to service, guide and provide financial planning advice to people who
seek to better their financial future.
LABECS provide a range of products and services in conjunction with AMP Financial Planning. To find out more
about the products and services we offer visit us at www.labecs.com.au. LABECS offer home visits after hours and on
Saturdays to fit in with your busy lifestyle.
The friendly team at LABECS can be contacted on any of the following: Phone: 02 8814 7700, Fax: 02 8814 7733 or
Email info@labecs.com.au. Ask for Richard Amir or Majbrit Lund.
Summer 2009
4
www.bearsofhope.org.au
Inaugural Charity Ball
Thank you to the following companies who made our night possible.
Prize Donators
Adventure Quest Paintball Skirmish Lorraine Lea Linen
Australian Rugby League
Male Box
Australian Rugby Union
Mean Fiddler
Berkeley Information Technology Nad's Laser Clinic
Billabong
Nature's Child
Bobbi's Pole Studio's
NRMA
Breville
Oakley
Bridge Climb Sydney
Outback Steakhouse
Bunnings Warehouse
Pancakes on the Rocks
Captain Cook Cruises
Photographic Memory
Christianes Hair Design
Pink Salt Double Bay
Chubb Fire & Safety
Powderfinger
Cooee Brands
Radiant Getaways
Deals Direct
Robert Cliff Jewellers
Dymocks
Soul Pattison Chemist
Efragrance
Starbucks
Entertainment Books
Stephanie Deck
Estee Lauder
Stockland
Evidence - Singleton
Strandbags
First Day Photography
Swarovski
Flight Centre
Sweet William Chocolate
Forty One Restaurant
Sydney By Sail
Fruit Only
Tamburlaine
Fundraising Auctions Australia
Taronga & Western Plains Zoo
Golf Australia
Teleplan Service Solutions Asia B.V.
Geraldine Maguire – nutrimetics
Tie & Cuffs
Hagemeyer Imaging
Tim Tattis
Harley Davidson
Toga Hospitality
Harris Farm
Troll Tours Trike Tours
Holeproof
Universal Magazines
Hopewood Health Retreat
Vodaphone Business Centre
Jane Hansen
Winston Hills Mall
Latin Motion Dance
2day FM
Lion Nathan
Goods and Services
Balloons - Rebecca George
Ink Spot - Singleton
How to view images from the Bears Of Hope 2009 Charity Dinner
1. Go to www.photographicmemory.com.au.
2. Click on “LAUNCH GALLERY” (in red text, left of screen)
3. Select “Enter the Gallery” a new window will open.
4. Hold mouse over “Gallery”, then “EVENTS PORTFOLIO”
5. Select Bears of Hope 2009.
Having only lost our son in June 2009, we were still
very new to the pain of losing a child and also very
new to Bears Of Hope and everything it has to offer.
I had joined the online support group and relied
heavily on it as it was the only support I was
receiving and it just seemed like such a
comfortable natural place to vent, cry and bond
with other mothers who truly understand what
we're going through day by day. I also loved that it
felt so anonymous. I had not met any of these
mums and felt that I could be open and honest
about how dark and desperate my days were (and
sometimes still are) without feeling exposed
because no one would recognise me if we walked
past each other in the street.
This same anonymity was what I was clinging to
when deciding whether or not to attend the Bears
Of Hope Charity Ball. What if the other mums who
were so supportive online met me and then didn't
like me anymore? What if I met them and burst into
tears and they saw how poorly I'm coping? What if
none of the other angel mums attend and I'm stuck
at a table with a bunch of people who don't
understand? What if, what if, what if...
We (my husband and I) decided we should attend
on the basis that at least we'd be doing something
to honour our Oliver and if it became too hard we
would just leave. We also decided not to invite any
of our friends or family because it would make it too
hard to do a runner if they were all there.
We were standing near the entry, waiting for the
doors to open and everyone around us was
chatting and smiling in groups. It was not too late to
run. Then, nervously peering back at me was a
beautiful lady wearing a very similar dress to mine.
"Nice dress" she said politely and then she
introduced herself and her husband. I recognised
their names from our online group and a lump
swelled in my throat. An angel mum. She
recognised me too and we hugged like long lost
friends and I realised it was ok to cry, she was crying
too. It was so nice to be able to tell her in person
how much her support meant to me.
The doors then opened to the function room so we
made our way to our table and to my absolute
delight Toni and Amanda had sat us at a table
filled with angel mums and dads. They were my
online friends, my lifelines and they all understood.
Our husbands all chatted and shared their
experiences and us girls danced, giggled, ate,
giggled, cried, shopped (there were some
awesome auction items) and danced and giggled
some more.
When we booked the tickets to attend, I really
dragged my feet but now I know what a hug for my
soul these events and the other angel mums are, I'll
be attending next years ball with bells on and
Thumbnail views of the images will appear. Click on an image to inviting all our friends and family to attend too.
enlarge, or you can start a slide show that will scroll through all the Amanda and Toni, thank you so much for
images by selecting the controls at the top of the screen.
organising such a beautiful ball which not only
raised money to help you to continue doing what
Cost of the photos is $5.00 each for 5" x 7", plus $2.00 for packing and
you do best but it also helped build some
postage. All money from the sale of the images will be donated to friendships that I will cherish for life
Bears Of Hope.
T. Jeney
Summer 2009
5
www.bearsofhope.org.au
Inaugural Charity Ball
A MESSAGE FROM SOPHIE’S PARENTS
Almost a year has passed since we were left with the
heartache and anguish of losing our beautiful baby girl
Sophie. We had walked into the hospital full of joy and
expectation only to leave it totally shattered and
devastated. Like other Bears Of Hope members have
sadly experienced, we did not know where to turn to for
guidance at the time. Pregnancy loss was never openly
spoken about and as one doctor told us “it is a statistic
which we like to keep quiet”. Luckily the Bears Of Hope
program was there and we were presented with a bear
we named Bluey.
A sincere thank you for giving us the humbling experience
of having THE Bear Of Hope named after Sophie. The
announcement and presentation of Sophie Bear was the
only time in our lives that we felt so overawed &
embarrassed. It was an overwhelming feeling of seeing
BOH’s goal for the past few years … which we shared for
the past six months … actually fulfilled – it is something
amazing & special to be a part of. Personally we feel that
Amanda and Toni do not get the necessary accolades
for being inaugural & integral members of BOH – no-one
would have begrudged them if they named THE Bear
after themselves or one of their angels – but their
selflessness was for all to see yet again with their decision.
Months of hard, grueling training combined with having to
share and re-live our story with the public was tough ... but
to see the rewards, it was worth the pain.
“Sophie Bear” has actually been our nickname for our
little girl – one of the many reasons why “Sophie the Bear”
will take pride & place in our house … Bluey will continue
being Bluey & will act as a little boy should & get all dirty &
up to mischief – but Sophie will be kept as a treasure
forever. I am sure that she will be treasured in other
households in years to come.
It was due to sad circumstances that we had to meet …
but we are extremely grateful for the opportunity to have
to met Amanda & Toni. They are special friends to us. I
know that I will forget to say it but I do wish a safe birth for
the impending arrival of your little one Amanda. Just
don’t be inspired to call it Larry if it is a boy!
Finally, keep up the
great work Bears of
Hope … hopefully your
efforts
will
inspire
someone else to help
make a difference.
Adrian & Kylie Raftery
(aka
Larry Leprechaun)
It was them – via the presentation of Bluey and
subsequent support - that inspired us to put something
back to BOH. Thank you.
Introducing our Bear Of Hope - ‘Sophie’
We are proud to introduce our exclusive Bear Of Hope ‘Sophie’ to help comfort, to offer hope and to heal the hearts
of so many people affected by crisis, particularly pregnancy and infant loss, right across the nation.
If you know of any child or adult who is experiencing some kind of hardship in their lives whether it be pregnancy loss,
parent loss, sickness etc the gift of a Bear Of Hope may be something they can draw comfort and strength from to help
them through.
You may wish to donate a Sophie Bear in honour of your own ~angel baby~ to a hospital through our program, or
purchase as a gift for yourself or someone else.
Our Bear Of Hope costs $25 (including postage) and can be purchased via our website.
Each Bear Of Hope is donated to parents in memory of another baby whose life was just so brief. Their name is written
on the inside of the card. It allows parents and the wider community to do something tangible in honour of a special
~baby~ and help another family all at the same time. Not only are these bears of hope comforting families and letting
them know they are not alone, but they are putting parents in touch with our website, which acts as a portal for
important and extensive support information and services available
These keepsakes provide a lifetime of support.
Thank you to the following people who purchased ‘Sophie’
* C. St Flour in honour of Bailey Antoni
* E. Filies in honour of Deon
* S.R. Eisenberg in honour of Rosie
* R. Spinks in honour of Nicholas
* R. Clack in honour of Joshua
* J. King in honour of Matilda Louise
*J. Washington-King in honour of Keira
* N. & L. Jenkins in honour of Cooper
* M. & N. Donnelly in honour of Eryn
* T. & C. Gove in honour of Tess Elizabeth
Summer 2009
* C. Wilson
* K. Wooden
* B. Shaw
* S. Kim
* A. Busz
* A. Maker
* A. Vanags
* H. Lucaci
* F. Busz i
* A. Lollback
* C. Horosko
6
www.bearsofhope.org.au
2009 Christmas Ham & Turkey Fundraiser
On behalf of the Meyer & Walton family contingent we all wish you and your families a safe and happy
Christmas. One of the best things about Christmas time is enjoying ham off the bone....YUM!!! This years
Christmas ham run I’m hoping will be bigger than ever and the recipient of this years profits will go to Bears
Of Hope. So, if you enjoy a top quality ham and supporting a great cause ensure you get your orders in by
Friday 11 December.
If you don’t wish to make a purchase but want to donate or find out more visit www.everydayhero.com.au/
kate_walton
Delivery is available in certain areas or pickup is from Girraween. For further information, please see
attached flyer.
Thanks for your support of this growing fundraising event, please pass the flyer onto anyone you know who
might be interested.
Kate Walton
Vanags Family & Friends 9th Annual Charity Night
Bears Of Hope were honoured to be chosen as this year’s nominated
charity for the Vanags Family & Friends Annual Charity Night. David &
Tanya were in New York during the 911 attacks and felt compelled to
make a difference so on their return they organised a dinner with 30
family and friends and the Charity night was born. Thank you so much
to Nick & Jen Thomas for bravely sharing their story in front of more than
200 people and speaking about their son ~Bailey~ & the journey they
have faced this year with the support of our program. It was a
sensational night with amazing prizes and incredibly generous bids on
many auction items. Thank you Dave & Tanya for helping us raise our
profile, raise awareness within the community and ultimately help us
help more families. You are both incredible people, with enormous
hearts and we will never forget all the hard work & effort you put into
the night and we thank you for all your amazing love and support.
Total amount raised for
Bears Of Hope
A note from Tanya & Dave:
It was our immense honour to support Bears Of Hope Our night is purely based on people coming together
to help somebody else, and we would like to thank
at the Vanags Family & Friends Charity Night 2009.
all of our family & friends for helping us make our night
Our event was held on Saturday 7th November at what it is today.
The Epping Club & it was an amazing night! One of
the many highlights was the slide show presentation We would also like to thank the wonderful Toni &
where we honoured some special lost angels. We Amanda from the bottom of our hearts for being an
have been hosting the Vanags Family & Friends unbelievable support in helping us make this year’s
Charity Night for 9 years now, and this year we Vanags Family & Friends Charity night our most
selected Bears Of Hope because we were attracted successful yet – we will cherish your friendships forever.
to the story of Toni & Amanda and how they turned
their own personal tragedies into something Tanya & David Vanags
beautiful & inspiring that helps and supports
hundreds of families each year.
We had a total of 226 people attend and raised a
total of $25,104! It also raised a lot of awareness on
the night which was so important to us and Bears Of
Hope. In 9 years of holding our event we have raised
just over $90,000 for various charities and we are very
proud of this.
Summer 2009
7
www.bearsofhope.org.au
Coping with Christmas
Christmas means so many things to different people.
For most it is about a happy, exciting time of year, to
spend with family and friends....a time to relax and
enjoy. But for many it will be your first Christmas
without your precious baby. Christmas is a time to
celebrate but how can you celebrate when you
don’t have your baby in your arms.
Everyone has their own way of coping and you may
wonder how to cope, how to survive during this
festive season when everywhere you look is
Christmas decorations, Christmas trees and people
busily shopping for presents. All your hopes and
dreams for your first Christmas together have been
torn away from you and you feel lost, despair,
heartbroken. It is ok to be sad and to cry.
Depending on your situation you may have other
children, or your angel baby was your first, or
perhaps you will have nieces and nephews around
you this Christmas. It is important to let yourself feel,
often you can feel numb because you have so
many emotions running around your body and you
don’t know how to feel. It is also important to let
others around you know how you feel about
Christmas and what the day will be like for you.
Although people around you will try to understand
how you feel it is impossible for them to completely
understand your situation unless they step into your
shoes so it is important that you voice your feelings
and concerns.
If your angel baby was your first baby you may
decide to not even acknowledge Christmas this
year. You may choose to do something special on
the day to honour your baby but not join in the
Christmas celebrations with family members. Or
perhaps other family members will not celebrate
Christmas either and join you in whatever you want
to do.
For some people you may have other children that
may or may not quite understand what has
happened with the loss of your baby but still need to
celebrate Christmas. Sometimes this can be a
positive thing as you can throw all your energy into
making sure your surviving children have a very
special Christmas. Take some time during the day to
reflect on your angel baby and do something in
honour of your baby.
It can be extremely difficult to watch other family
member’s children enjoy the day as they excitedly
open presents. The most important thing is to be
honest and open with your family about how you
Summer 2009
8
are feeling, what this Christmas means to you, and
what things you would like to do to honour your
baby. You may also be unsure of how your feelings
with affect others but it is important to get through
this day as best you can and therefore to put your
feelings first.
You also may find it hard to write your babies name
in your Christmas cards you send out to family and
friends so you may just decide to add an extra x (kiss)
from your angel or purchase a hole punch or stamp
that symbolises your little one, maybe a star or a
cherub and add that on the corner of the card to
ensure they are included. Remember that it is ok if
you wish to include your babies name too.
Here are some ways to honour your baby this
Christmas:
* Purchase ‘Sophie’ bears in honour of your baby
and encourage friends and family to do the same.
* Either buy or create your own bauble that has your
baby’s name on it.
* Hang a stocking and fill it with messages, gifts for
your baby.
* Visit the crematorium/cemetery
* Release balloons
* Place a special angel on the tree
* Talk about your baby
It is also important to remember that it is ok to enjoy
yourself at Christmas although it is hard to celebrate
when you are missing your baby.
Here are a few suggestions on how family and friends
can support someone in grief during the Christmas
season:
* Allow us to talk about our babies
* Allow us to cry, smile, laugh
* Be understanding if we aren’t up to attending
social gatherings
* Give us a hug and tell us that you care and that you
miss our baby too
From everyone at Bears Of
Hope we wish you all a
special
Christmas,
however you choose to
spend it and hope that you
can find some love,
support and comfort from
those around you to help
you through this difficult
season.
www.bearsofhope.org.au
Christmas in Heaven
Merry Christmas Angel Babies
From everyone at Bears Of Hope
we would like to wish all the Angel Babies,
a very Merry Christmas.
Christmas in Heaven where all the bells ring,
Where laughter is shared and Angels do sing.
With bottomless Tummys, filling up fast,
And Bon Bons on tables, not long do they last.
Where Santa arrives and never has to leave,
There is happiness only, and no one to grieve.
With free rides on Rudolph all day and all night,
And a Christmas tree cloud, all lit up with light.
For lunch there is Roast and there’s Gravy galore,
But no vegies allowed – No vegies! No more!
Following lunch is of course Christmas Pud,
But none of this fruit - Christmas Choc Cake is Good!!
After lunch are the presents and this is the best,
Cause in heaven you see there’s no dollars or cents.
So the gifts come all wrapped with a card with the names,
Then the fun can begin with new toys and new games.
In heaven there are plenty of Grandparents to share,
Imagine the spoiling that takes place up there.
With kisses and cuddles and singing all day,
Angel Babies in Heaven do nothing but play.
Angel Babies in Heaven will watch from above,
And each Christmas, be sure, they will send us their love.
But they have each other, they will not shed a tear,
It is us here on Earth that will miss them each year.
For Christmas is not Christmas when our hearts hurt so much,
It is hard to keep going without feeling their touch.
It’s so hard to keep smiling amongst family and friend,
When the longing for our child will never come to an end.
But down deep we know they would wish us to be,
At Peace when it’s Christmas and to put up our tree.
To hang things around that remind us they’re near,
To talk of them often and to listen and hear.
To hear our Sweet Angels speak to our heart,
And comfort our souls when we’re falling apart.
Send up a kiss to the heavens above,
And know that their Christmas will be filled with Love.
Merry Christmas Angel Babies, please know you will be,
Always close in our hearts as we put up our tree,
And close in our hearts as the New Year begins,
Always close in our hearts till we meet again.
Wishing you a very Merry Christmas our precious Angels,
Jesse and Jamie.
Take care of each other and don’t eat too much Pudding!!
Missing you each day and sending you all our love.
Forever in our hearts, Love Dad and Mum
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Summer 2009
9
Alex Martin Turner
Alicia Donnelly
Ava Lennox
Bailey Antoni Thomas
Cooper Tattis
Cooper Nathan Jenkins
David Fafeita
Diego Jose Nobile
Ella Lennox
Eryn Natalie Donnelly
Eva Morris
Imogene Kate Comito
Isabella Rose Rowlands
Jacinta Tattis
James Seeman
James Tattis
James Turner-Bowes
Jamie Vic Pace
Jed Knox Cole
Jesse Buttons Bowles
Jesse Donnelly
Jesse Jay Pace
Jordyn Kate Tattis
Jorja Grace Robertson
Joshua Clack
Kaitlyn Tattis
Karoline Anne Hyland
Katherine Anne Hyland
Katie Anne Turner
Kaylee Donnelly
Keira Van Duren
Kymarlee Kingston
Lachlan Grant
Madelin Tattis
Nathaniel Grant
Nicholas James Spinks
Oliver James Jeney
Peter Sklibosios
Rhys Alan Tattis
Ruby Rose Brown
Samuel Liam Clarke
Sean Allan Turner
Sophie Cleo Raftery
Stephen Whelan Carroll
& All the little angels
www.bearsofhope.org.au
A subsequent Pregnancy
Your heart stopped, you wondered how you would
go on, you question whether you would have
another baby.........Many questions and thoughts go
through your mind after losing a baby. For some the
urge and the desire to have another baby is so
strong, while for others you just need time to grieve.
Making the decision to try again is such a hard one
as you yearn to hold another baby in your arms but
you also are scared and hold so many fears. There
is no wrong or right and only you can choose what is
best for you.
Embarking on another pregnancy is like riding the
scariest rollercoaster. It is filled with so many emotions
but most importantly.......fear.
Fear is a natural emotion as you are fearful of how
you lost your baby. Get information, know the risks,
and educate yourself to the dangers. Acknowledge
your feelings, face your feelings head on and learn
to cope and adjust to your fears. Talk about your
fears, speak with people that understand your fears
and can help you work through them. Write about
your fears, writing them down can be therapeutic
and help you to understand where the fear is
coming from and cope better with it. Most
importantly talk to your ob or midwife and get them
to help you deal with your fears.
You may be angry that you have to go through
another pregnancy, something you feel that you
have already done. You may be angry that you did
everything right but still lost your baby. Anger is a
normal part of the grieving process but it is important
to control the anger and turn it into a positive.....say
I am not going to lose another baby and draw
strength from this.
Sadness is a new part of your life. It will come in
waves, around important dates but sometimes
unexpectedly. You may feel sad that you are not
carrying the baby that died and upset that you have
lost the innocence of pregnancy. You no longer
have that ‘glow’ or the ‘safe time’ where you feel
relaxed. Surround yourself with people that
understand, people that can support you, people
that have been through it before and have come
out the other side.
For many people you may also feel guilt. Guilty to
your baby that has died because you want another
baby. You can’t and could never replace your
baby and by having another baby this is not what
you are doing....you are only filling your empty arms
and helping your aching heart to once again beat
without hurting so much. The loss of a baby never
leaves you and by having another baby you should
not feel as if you are replacing them.
Some difficult times during your subsequent
pregnancy may be getting through the gestation of
when you lost your baby, your angel baby’s
birthday, Christmas, your due date. Having fears is a
natural and normal part of a subsequent pregnancy.
Here are a few suggestion on how to get through a
subsequent pregnancy:
* Join a support group, Bears Of Hope has online or
face to face support groups;
* Try yoga or mediation;
* Surround yourself with supportive people;
* Have additional appointments with your ob or
midwife;
* Have additional ultrasounds to give you peace of
mind
* Ensure you are getting the best prenatal care.
* Remember you are not alone in your feelings,
reach out to others that are traveling a similar path
* Take things one day at a time and don’t look to far
down the track.
Above all, remember that this is a different
pregnancy, try to be positive, and have a little hope.
Garden Of Angels
Our Garden Of Angels is a place of remembrance and somewhere to recognise and honour our angel’s
birthdays. Below is a list of angels whose birthdates are in the months ahead, we wish the families of these
angels peace and hope as this day arrives and know that we are here if you need further support.
Sophie Cleo Raftery
Eryn Natalie Donnelly
Katie Anne Turner
Sean Allan & Alex Martin Turner
Jorja Grace Robertson
David Fafeita
Bailey Antoni Thomas
Jesse Buttons Bowles
14 December 2008
15 December 2008
19 December 2004
7 January 2005
10 January 2003
11 January 1971
16 January 2009
19 January 2006
If you would like to have your angel listed in the relevant newsletter please email
Amanda@bearsofhope.org.au and include your angels name and date of birth.
Summer 2009
10
www.bearsofhope.org.au
A Parent’s Story - Tobias Colin and Imogene Kate’s Birth Story October 2008
“Did you know you are having twins?” That was the
question the sonographer asked as she took off the
ultrasound device and change the computer to read
ultrasound for 2. My husband, Mark and I looked at each
other, my heart was pounding, and smiles as big as Luna
Park were on our faces. “What?!”
We are the proud parents to 5 beautiful children, 4 on
earth and 1 in heaven. Our world changed that day.
Already parents to 3 children, the oldest only 3, we were
not surprised when we found out number 4 was on its way.
When 4 turned to 5, our breath was taken away. What
are we going to do with 5 children under 4? Our friends
saw the humour, as did we, and really, how much more
busy will it be? We were ready to accept the challenge
and love having twins would bring.
The pregnancy, besides the nausea, was textbook. A boy
and girl set of twins, both head down and ready to go
from early on. No need for much intervention, fourth
pregnancy, labour would be twice the pushing, but
double the result, no problem, or so we thought.
6.15am, 26 October 2008. That familiar feeling of waters
breaking… excitement sets in! The twins are on their way!
As it usually happens with my labours, my waters break
and labour starts within 24 hours, so we were not in any
mad rush to get to the hospital, but went anyway for
monitoring. My huge belly 38.3 weeks was covered in
kisses from excited big brother and sisters, next time you
see mummy, the babies will be out of her tummy!!
27 October 2008, 3.26am, our beautiful darling boy,
Tobias Colin, 2.7kg, enters the world with minimal fuss.
Only 1.5 hours of active labour and one baby down, one
to go! This is too easy! That is what I thought as the
midwife lay my first gorgeous bub onto my chest. Oh, that
newborn baby smell, just so precious. Minutes tick by, no
sign of any more contractions for bub number 2, but this
is normal, so we wait, cuddling Tobias as we wait for his
sister to join us.
After waiting half an hour, the doctor does a controlled
break of bub number 2’s waters, resulting in a partial cord
prolapse. All is calm; she is in no distress, her heart rate
strong and echoing through the room on the monitor.
However, there is no more contractions, my body has
decided to finish labouring, so an emergency caesarean
is decided upon. Excitedly we leave delivery suite for
theatre, bub 2’s heart rate steady and music to our ears.
We enter theatre and it is all bright lights and activity. All
of a sudden a massive contraction hits me with a jolt and
all I can think is put me to sleep and get this baby out, this
hurts, and hurts like I have never felt before. Panic seeps
in, I feel like I am on ER, what’s going on? The beautiful
midwife says calmly to me as I am going to sleep that she
cannot find a heartbeat, bub has moved…
5.10am, our precious baby girl, Imogene Kate, 2.65kg is
born sleeping. Her eyes never open, she never cries, she
never even takes a breath, her heart is still. The doctors
work with her for a long time, but she has left us. They can
give us no real reason, maybe the cord prolapse, maybe
Summer 2009
11
a placental abruption, maybe? Imogene is wheeled out
to her waiting daddy, who has to cope with this pain
without his wife who is in recovery unaware of what she
has to face when she wakes.
The doctor is murmuring something in my ear, I don’t hear
him, he says the baby died. He must be joking, go away I
think, I am sleeping. No, the midwife and my mum are in
my face now, Imogene died, she didn’t make it. What
was once two babies is now one. It doesn’t sink in, the
morphine a friend to me at this point. I am wheeled back
to my room; a baby is placed next to me, Imogene Kate.
She is cold, she doesn’t move, but she smells like a
newborn and I drink in her smell. My baby girl, wake up
please, I want to see your eyes, hear your cry. Wake up
and look at me; I am your mummy, look at me.
I am laying on my side, two babies next to me. One is
warm and soft, the other hard and cold. They are my
twins, Tobias and Imogene. We take photos, video and
both are cuddled and kissed by the family members who
have joined us to meet the twins. 3 excited little children
enter the room, bursting to see their new baby brother
and sister. They don’t know, they accept both babies as
only precious children can.
We explain what has
happened to Imogene, trying to make sense of it
ourselves, and make a 4, 3 and 1 year old understand too.
They hold both babies, we take photos and video, they
kiss both babies, these 3 beautiful children are therapy for
every adult trying to grasp the situation. So accepting, so
intuitive, so confused and so beautiful. They needed to
meet both babies. They knew the whole pregnancy that
there were 2 babies, if we had not let them meet
Imogene, they would have always been confused, where
was the other baby? They cover the babies with kisses
and cuddles and even fight over which baby they are
going to hold.
Everybody leaves, the midwives return. We cling to our
baby girl for that last hour. Willing it to change, to wake
up from the nightmare. We can’t. The midwives take
footprints, of Imogene and Tobias on the same page, our
twins. We take more photos, more video. Mark dresses
Imogene and we take more photos, what else will we
have when she leaves the room. We kiss her, smell her,
study her, hug her, and smother her with our tears and
love that she must know we have for her. She is wrapped
and wheeled away. Our beautiful baby girl is gone. Our
twins have been torn apart. Our hearts have been torn
apart.
Tobias stirs in his crib, he is picked up. We are lucky, we still
have a baby to go home with, people tell us. This is true,
but we should be going home with two babies. We are
not being greedy, it is just they way it should be. We drink
in Tobias, smothering him with our tears and our love, he is
alone now. He has spent the last 9 months next to his sister,
a twin in every sense, but now he is a twinless twin, what a
term. How bittersweet it is. We have a beautiful baby boy
in our arms, and somewhere in the hospital lies his twin
sister, our baby girl.
continue...
www.bearsofhope.org.au
A Parent’s Story - Tobias Colin and Imogene Kate’s Birth Story October 2008
We go home with Tobias and a teddy bear. The two capsules scream out at us, the pink and blue blankets at home
mock me as I put Tobias to bed in the cot he was to share with Imogene. Our friends and family rally round, picking up
the pieces that we haven’t even noticed have fallen. We enter a bubble, plan Imogene’s funeral, cling to Tobias and
our other children like they are our lifeline, they are.
The funeral is surreal. I never thought I would be burying my child, no parent should have to. I didn’t think I could get
through the service, but I did. I didn’t think I could watch her being buried, but I couldn’t keep away, and I am glad I
was there. I could feel a strength in me I did not realize I possessed. Imogene was giving me strength. I got through
that day, and I have managed to get through many others and will continue to get through many more. In honour of
Imogene, we have chosen to live, and to live well.
The power of our friends and family support, those who attended Imogene’s celebration of life or showed their love
and support in other ways and especially those who still keep her memory alive is overwhelming. Without them, I do
not know where we would be.
Our lives have been shattered, we are left to pick up the pieces and put them back together. But they don’t fit, they
never will without Imogene, we just have to figure out how to place them without her. Each day brings a new sense
of reality, another ride on the roller coaster. Some days it is going up hill, some days down hill too fast and others it just
cruises around the bends. Each day we are the proud parents of 5 children, each day we want to reverse time and
change the outcome, and each day we face the reality that we can’t. Each day we sadly realise that too many other
families are facing the same heartache, loss, and despair. Each day we give all our children another kiss and another
hug just because we can, and each day we silently say thank you for being given the gift of their life, and each day
we remember our beautiful baby girl, Imogene Kate and hope that other people will remember her too.
PS. We just celebrated our dear twins 1st Birthday. All the pain and heartache surfaced again as we dreamed of what
should and could have been. With family and friends we had an amazing party, releasing 200 balloons and singing
Happy Birthday to our princess Imogene- who showed us in many ways she was with us that day, and then singing and
cutting a cake for Tobias, our smiling, chubby bubby, who has got us through each day this past year. The children at
the party blew Imogene’s candle out for her, and her memory lives on even stronger, as more learn about her short life
and others continue to remember her and appreciate just how precious life is.
By Emma-Kate and Mark Comito
How Can You Help Bears Of Hope
If you are thinking "How can I help Bears Of Hope?" you might like to organise a garage sale or if you have
any other great ideas on how to raise money for Bears Of Hope, we would love to hear from you. Please
contact Toni@bearsofhope.org.au and we can send you an authority to fundraise application form.
Bears Of Hope - now on Facebook & Twitter
Bears Of Hope has landed on Facebook and Twitter! Please join and invite your friends to join as we spread
the word on our program and ensure that all families needing bereavement support know we are here.
Help us raise our profile and join at http://apps.facebook.com/causes/288835?m=618c3fb4
Follow us on http://twitter.com/Bearsofhope
We would love to hear about what you
think about our newsletter, or if you
have any suggestions for articles or
would like to contribute, please email
editor@bearsofhope.org.au. Thank you
for your comments regarding the Spring
Edition of Healing Hearts.
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Summer 2009
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Mailbag
www.bearsofhope.org.au
Support & Donations
We have been really blessed with support & donations and wanted to acknowledge and thank those that
have honoured an angel and offered help to Bears Of Hope Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support so we can
continue to reach out to families. Sadly more and more bears are needed. If you would like to make a
donation please contact Amanda@bearsofhope.org.au
Thank you to the following people for their monetary donations over the past few months:
* K. Wooden in honour of Briasell
* K. Muharemovic in honour of Yasminah
* M. Burns in honour of Yasminah
* S. Mc in honour of Yasminah
* S. Baker in honour of Yasminah
* T. Wood in honour Yasminah
* A. Cooper in honour of her sister’s twins
* C. Harris in honour Yasminah
* R. Mead in honour of Yasminah
* M. Valovalo in honour Yasminah
* A. James
* L. Ellis in honour of Yasminah
* N. Taylor in honour of Beau Taylor
* L. S. Bihun in honour of Yasminah
* N. Aziz in honour of Yasminah
* K.Moffett in honour of Yasminah
* N. McIntyre in honour Yasminah
* M. Aziz in honour of Yasminah
* N. Thredgold in honour Yasminah
* B. Hass in honour of Yasminah
* C. Odenthal in honour Yasminah
* B. Gibbeson in honour of Bailey Antoni
* S. Stevenson
* A. Abbate in honour Yasminah
* A. Vanags
* P. Kapitola in honour Yasminah
* S. Tsilimos in honour Yasminah
* R. Shapiro-Liu & F. Liu in honour of Baby of N&R
* A. Klzi in honour Yasminah
* M. Hendry in honour of Karoline and Katherine
* S. Onur
* T. Quigley in honour of Viviene Sarah Elizabeth
* M. Fleming in honour Yasminah
* J. Hendry in honour of Karoline and Katherine
Thank you to the following people for their bear donations over the past few months:
* M. Zammit in honour of Connor
* M.Voh in honour of Jack
* M. Brindell in honour of an ascended angel
* T Bencetti in honour of Milana
* T. Jeney in honour of Oliver James
* Blue Gum Trefoil Guild in honour of Milana
* M. Walker in honour of Matthew Thomas
* Blue Gum Trefoil Guild in honour of Elaina Kate
* Caroline & Peter
* Comito Family in honour of Imogene Kate
* A. Hunt in honour of Kayden
* G. & B. Bell and Family in honour of Imogene Kate
* N. Swartz in honour of Yasminah
* C and N in honour of Imogene Kate
* E. Husar in honour of Yasminah
* J., G. & B. Sillickin honour of Imogene Kate
* A. Farr
* C. & Z. Azzi and Family in honour of Imogene Kate
* R. Young
* M. & C. Smith and Family in honour of Imogene Kate
* J. Leonard in honour of Martin Leonard
* M. McDonald and Family n honour of Imogene Kate
* Walker family in honour of Matthew Thomas
Personalised Memory Bracelets
On November 28, 2006 at 37 weeks, Cooper Jenkins was born silently into this world.
In memory of her son, Lynn made a precious bracelet, a personalised memory bracelet
which includes his name (pictured). It’s made from silver pewter letter beads, silver metal
beads, white glass pearl beads and crystal coloured beads. These bracelets are available
to purchase with 10% of the purchase going to Bears Of Hope. Bracelets are made to order
and are made with blue beads for boys and pink beads for girls. Single strand bracelets
which includes one name, sell for $50 with the double strand bracelet, two names, for $70.
Order forms for the bracelets are available on the Bears Of Hope website or by emailing
angelcooperdesign@iprimus.com.au.
These bracelets bring enormous comfort and support to Lynn, knowing that Cooper is still with her and she hopes to
reach out to others to offer them comfort and support by wearing a memory bracelet.
Book Reviews
Have you read a book that has helped you get through some of the toughest days of your
life? If there is a book that you could relate to, or that has supported you and you would like
to share with others?
Please email editor@bearsofhope.org.au with the book details and a review about the book.
Summer 2009
13
www.bearsofhope.org.au
Messages of Love
Have you ever touched forever…We have.
Our beautiful baby girl is never far away…she is the breeze
that blows, the sun that shines, the rain that falls or the
perfect white butterfly that sweeps into our lives when days
seem too unbearable
We held our beautiful baby girl, born so perfect and tiny as
she took her last breath. She tried so hard to fight and we
will forever live with the knowledge that you have made
Mummy and Daddy the people that we are today. Your
strength, courage and determination are what we draw on
every day since you grew wings and left this world…
It has been almost 7 years since we last held you and the
pain does not ease, it is always with us, it makes our eyes
brim with tears or our hearts warm with memories of your
beautiful eyes, your cherry lips and your adorable tiny
hands and feet…sometimes I wonder what you would look
like…perfect I imagine in every way and you would be an
amazing big sister and an adorable and sweet little girl with
a twinkle in your eye…we miss you, we love you, forever
and ever, born so beautiful and taken too soon…
In memory of Jorja Grace Robertson born 10th January
2003, at 42 weeks, lived for 6 amazing and heart wrenching
days, will forever be in our hearts and minds…
“Just For A Moment”
(From A Silent Love, Adrienne Ryan)
"Our hands have touched, our paths have crossed
A love is gained, a love is lost
Just for a moment I kissed the face
Of an innocent child I can’t replace.
In memory of Kymarlee Kingston
I'd like to start off with a very Merry Christmas to all
heaven's angels and to the families and friends. I know
some people were expecting to have their little angels
with them this Christmas but sadly this was not the case,
I know because I thought my partner and I would have
our first family Christmas with our son Kymarlee Kingston.
We lost our son on the 20th of June this year due to
being extremely premature and they had put a 1530min life span but with great little strength he lived for
an hour and half, kicking and moving his little body and
we even got to hear his little voice. Even though our little
angels are not here physically we will always have them
in our hearts and thoughts.
Merry Christmas my darling Kymarlee. I can’t find the
right words to tell you how deeply your family loves you.
This Christmas may bring a tear to my eye because you
are not here but in love and memory you will always
remain close to my heart and your daddy feels the
same way too. We love you to the moon and back
times infinity..
Love your Mum & Dad
Lil Angel, Kaylee, Jesse & Alicia,
" Though my darlings you are not here,
I know that you are always near!"
Just remember that we love you & we wish you a
peaceful Christmas, and Mummy & your Brothers miss
you so much! Hugs & Kisses Forever.
Samuel Liam Clarke - 13.05.2009
"Forever Loved, Eternally Missed - Gently Hugged,
Sweetly Kissed"
Have fun dancing in the clouds sweet boy, we will be
watching you.
Love Mummy and Daddy xoxox
Just for a moment a maternal touch
Would say the words that meant so much
A soft caress, the gentle tears
That will make those minutes last for years.
Nicholas James Spinks
31.12.06 - 02.07.08
Just for a moment, I held your hand
My broken heart in your command
So much to tell you, so little time
Why were you punished, what was the crime?
Our beautiful little boy, another Christmas without you
and your 3rd birthday on New Years Eve.
We think about you everyday and miss you so very
much.
We love you to the moon and back little man.
All our Love forever
Mummy Daddy Harrison and your new sister Chloe
They took part of me when they took you away
As much as I love you, you weren’t meant to stay
I gave you a hug that for always must last
As facing the future means leaving the past.
I would just like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and
also for our poor little angel which we miss very much,
we love you sweetheart, love always and there isn’t a
second we don’t think about you our darling little girl...
love always mummy and daddy (Beck & Jamie)
Our souls have merged, I live for you
Perhaps I’m living your life too
I will carry on, I can always stand tall
Because just for that moment, I had it all."
In honour of Imogene Kate Comito
Wishing our Sophie a happy 1st birthday (Dec 14). We
hope you are enjoying playing with the puppies and
To our darling girl Imogene,
other children in heaven. Make sure grandpa gets you
You are not in our arms this Christmas, but we know you are an ice-cream!
with us in so many other ways. Santa will put something
special under the Wishing Tree for you. We all love you and If all our Christmas dreams came true, then you would
miss you, every moment of every day. Love Mummy, be with us now. Missing you so much. Merry Christmas
gorgeous girl.
Daddy, Isaac, Scarlette, Matilda and Tobias xxxx
Double love from Mummy & Daddy.
Summer 2009
14
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Messages of Love
In memory of our first granddaughter on my
side of the family, Keira Van Duren, still born on
the 21/10/09
Here Role Down Here is Done.
Her soul has touched us all,
She didn't need to say,
Her spirit touched each one of us,
Before it sailed away.
We all knew souls arrived on earth
With special roles to fill,
And hers has fully played it's part
Her memory guides us still.
She had a very special soul,
She stayed but just a while,
So if or when your feeling sad,
Recall her with a smile.
For then you'll know inside your heart,
The reason why she's gone,
And never feel too empty that
Her role down here is done.
Her spirit touched each one of us
No other ever could Forever we will cherish her
The way we know we should.
With much love, Grammy Jan, Pop Colin and
Uncle Sam Loudon Berridale NSW
To my little angel boy.....Diego
I miss you my little Angel
And everyday I cry
Please give me strength to go on
Because we were never meant to say
goodbye.
We spent 29 weeks and 3 days together
You were baby number two,
We had so many things planned
If only now I knew what to do.
You stopped kicking on a Tuesday
Our world was turned upside down
Now what am I supposed to do without you
Apart from everyday breaking down.
This would have been your first Christmas,
The four of us, Our family,
But instead you are watching us from heaven
And it aches in my heart so badly
Darling ~Jesse Buttons~,
It’s hard to believe that 4 yrs have passed since we held you,
sometimes it can feel like yesterday.
This year has been a particularly difficult one, so many people have
forgotten you, forgotten you are our son, or just don’t seem to care
that we miss you so much. No matter what, you were born to us, our
second son and brother to Liam & now Calum…no one can ever
take that away from us. Though we have been hurt by the decisions
of others it has inspired me to honour your memory and help other
families like ours more than ever before. We are blessed with another
brother or sister for you and pray that this baby will come home safe
and healthy in February. Starting to study counseling has been an
exciting challenge and one I am doing purely because of you and
your life.
Bears Of Hope has had the most exceptional year, one I could never
have dreamt it would have – one that will mean so many more
families can find support and most importantly find hope when all
seems hopeless…and all this because of you and your life. Some
people can live for a hundred years and not make an impact on this
earth – your life has already had an enormous impact on so many
families and I thank you for helping me find the strength and courage
to keep going when I sometimes question if I can.
Enjoy your 4th birthday – we will be celebrating you here and wishing
it was so different.
All our love
Mummy, Daddy, Liam & Calum xxx
A life so brief, a child so small, you had the power to touch us all.
The world may never notice
If a rosebud doesn't bloom
Or even pause to wonder if the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be
Touches the World in some small way
For all eternity.
The little ones we longed for
Were swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do
Every beating of my heart says
"I Remember You"
Author unknown
To our angel babies, Nathaniel and Lachlan,
This would have been your first Christmas here with us. We have
Now go on my little Angel,
something special to hang on our tree for each of you......and know
Go along with your Angel friends and play
that you will be with us, even if not physically. We look forward to
Mummy will never forget you
every Christmas with you both an important part of our family and we
I promise we'll see each other again some day.
love you both incredibly. We miss you each and every day and pray
for you always, that you are safe and watching over everyone who
Love Mummy
loves and cares about you. We will all be together one day again,
By Nataly Nobile
and we look very forward to that day.
Mum to Diego Nobile
With Love eternally.....
16 July, 2009
Mummy and Daddy xxxx
(Laura & Alex Grant)
Summer 2009
15
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Messages of Love
Dearest Cooper,
Another year has passed and another year that
we have missed out on sharing our life with you.
We have just got through your third birthday
and now we must try to get through your third
Christmas.
A tribute to Lachlan and Nathaniel
As Christmas approaches we are reminded of the joy of the birth of
Jesus, God’s Son. For our family it is also a time to remember the joy
of our precious grandsons – Lachlan and Nathaniel – born at 21
weeks this year on June 29 to our daughter and son-in-law, Laura and
Not a day goes by that you are not in our Alex.
thoughts and dreams and your memory will We know that Lachlan and Nathaniel are in the safe and gentle
always live with us. We cherish every day that hands of the loving Jesus. We see them as beautiful angels - the stars
we had with you and the memories are firmly shining in the sky and our prayers are with Laura and Alex and our
cemented in our minds.
whole family at this time.
We wish we could hold you one more time,
wish that we could see you one more time,
wish that we could smell you one more time,
wish that we could touch you one more time,
wish that we could have you in our arms forever
....if only our wishes came true.
We also pray for blessings of peace, love and joy for all this Christmas
season.
Neil and Sharron Lewis
For James from Mummy x
I won't be coming home this Christmas
Merry Christmas and Happy 3rd Birthday Coops. I won't be coming home this Christmas...
Shine brightly Cooper, in the night sky as you do There are no tiny toes to touch the golden sand,
no splashing in the ocean, no swimming in the pool,
in our hearts.
no size zero swimming suit to protect you from the sun.
Missing your more each day
There won't be family introductions or toys too big for you
Mummy, Daddy, Ethan and Tahnee
no tales to tell of your first smile, no joy to recount and
For Isabella Rose Rowlands
no mother's pride to boast.
EMILY'S POEM
So much love to give to you,
So much love to show.
So many things to say to you
That you will never know.
There won't be cuddles from Grand-dad or his stories from surf club
days,
no bonding with the cousins of such a similar age.
no photos with Great-Grandma,
and no Queensland sun.
We had so many dreams for you,
We had so many plans.
A little family growing together,
Walking hand in hand.
It will be cold this Christmas in England, as it is always is,
but even colder without you my baby boy and the dreams that
can't come true.
I miss you my darling James xxxx from Leanne Turner
We picked out special things for you,
We thought that you would like.
And all the things that you would need
Now packed away so tight.
Merry Christmas!!!
We thought that we would hear you cry
And comfort you to sleep.
We thought that we would see you smile
Your tiny face so sweet.
We hope that you are enjoying your angel life and please know that
we are all missing you ever so much, much more than you ever know.
We would have taken you for walks
We would have held your fingers.
We would have told you stories
And been your lullaby singers.
We know there would have been hard times
Lost sleep and such late nights,
But we would have taken anything
If we could have made things right.
There was no way to fix your heart
Our precious tiny one.
We had to let you fly away
To peace and warmth and sun.
We hope that you can hear these words
And even as we cry,
You'll know our deepest love for you,
A love that will never die.
Summer 2009
To our dear angel Peter,
This is our first Christmas and we are all experiencing our first in very
different ways, none that were planned this way.
We will always love you and miss you.
Please watch over us always and know that we are always here for
you, no matter how far apart we are.
We will never accept what has happened and never understand
why this happened and we will never be the same without you, your
place will always be in our hearts.
Love always Mum, Dad and Alysa xxxx
To Rhys, Jordyn, Cooper & Kaitlyn, Jacinta & Madelin, and James
Another Christmas is upon us and I will be thinking of you beautiful
bubs as Isabella and I celebrate Christmas this year. We will be
placing each of your baubles high on the Christmas tree as well as
lighting a candle on Christmas day. My heart feels heavy missing you
all so deeply wishing you were here with us. But my heart is also filled
with a beautiful love knowing how lucky I am to be your mummy.
Love always, Mummy and Isabella xx
16
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Donations
Volunteers
Bears Of Hope can only continue with the support of
the community through monetary and bear
donations. We always donate traditional teddy
bears that are new and we actively fundraise
throughout the year to ensure we can support as
many families as we can. Sadly we donate over
1000 bears a year and yet there are always more
bears needed. If you would like to make a donation
in memory of your baby or someone else’s, please
feel free to get in touch with us. Your donation may
have a profound impact on another family’s life.
Bears Of Hope volunteers help us raise awareness of
pregnancy and infant loss and the importance of
support within the community. Our volunteers help us
raise funds through selling chocolates, sourcing
sponsorship, or holding teddy drives.
There are many ways in which volunteers can help
and if you feel you can offer even just a small
contribution, you can be assured that you will touch
another family’s heart.
Mailbag
We would love to hear from you with what you would like to see included in Healing Hearts and look
forward to your feedback. If you have any comments on articles featured in this edition, please let us know
so that we can publish them in the next edition.
If you have any suggestions of articles, poems, messages of love or would like to tell your story, please
contact editor@bearsofhope.org.au
Subscription
Bears Of Hope produces a quarterly newsletter with information about specific loss or grief topics, current
events, opportunities to support us and a special place for parents to share their story with others. We invite
you to include poetry and tributes for your angels or ideas and ways that you have overcome stages of
your grief journey in order to help others through. Please email editor@bearsofhope.org.au
You can subscribe to our newsletter by emailing subscribe@bearsofhope.org.au or fill in the information
below, tear off and send to Bears of Hope, PO Box 352, Stanhope Gardens NSW 2768.
Subscription for emailed newsletters is complimentary however newsletters that are printed and posted are
$15 per annum (includes 4 newsletters).
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Mail form to Bears of Hope, PO Box 352, Stanhope Gardens, NSW 2768
Summer 2009
17
www.bearsofhope.org.au