205 - Valley Planet

Transcription

205 - Valley Planet

VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
#021915031115
INSIDE THIS ISSUE:
READ THE PLANET, IT’S FREE
WWW.VALLEYPLANET.COM
(256) 533 • 4613
FEBRUARY 18 - MARCH 11, 2015
From Kenya with Love, Interstellar,
That Game Show Thing, The Original Public House,
Humorist Tired of Sitting Down... Tries Standing Up,
Marley from the Darkside,
Best Bartender in the Valley,
Dr. Anarcho: Tony Joe White,
The Greatest Calendars on Earth!!!
2
#021915031115
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
THE VALLEY PLANET
In
The
Planet
february 19 - march 11, 2015
NEXT ISSUE: MARCH 12, 2015
203 Grove Ave., Huntsville Al, 35801, phone 256.533-4613
THE VALLEY PLANET
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
#021915031115
Table of Contents
3
On the Cover
3
Letter From The Publisher
4
Humorist Tired of Sitting Down, Tries Standing Up, Tim Benton
4
Providence’s Little Free Library, LaDawn Edwards
4
Sci-Fi Review: Interstellar - The Official Movie Novelization, Matthew Kresal
5
On a Mural Mission: From Kenya with Love, Lori J. Connors
5
Zee’s Rocket City bEAT, Jim Zielinski
5
Unchained Maladies, Ricky Thomason
6
News of the Weird, Chuck Shepherd
7
The Original Public House – A Nice Upgrade, Mike Ragoza
7
The Jazz Lounge, Jackie Anderson
7
Dr. Anarcho’s Rx For Old Stuff That Don’t Suck: Tony Joe White – Any and all.
8
From The Darkside, Marley
8
Gal About Town: That Game Show Thing, Tina Leach
10
Music Calendar Begins
11
Music Calendar Continues
12
Music Calendar Ends
12
Regional Concert Calendar
12
Gay Marriage in Alabama (Photos)
13
Calendar of Events Begins
14
More Calendar of Events
15
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY, Rob Breszny
15
On The Lam 4, Shawn Bailey
16
Events Calendar Concludes
16
Unleash Your Inner Awesomeness
17
What Then Must We Do? Bonnie Roberts
17
Best Bartender in the Tennessee Valley? Diamond’s Sportsbar’s Jennifer Peters!
17
New Lit, Ricky Thomason & Lisa Gray Thomason
18
Music Exchange
18
The Single Guy: Communi-Date, Aaron Hurd
18
To Yuno From Yunohoo
19
Valley Planet Demographics
Publisher
Jill E. Wood
Calendar
Joanie Williams
Graphic Design
Douglas A. Lange
Contributors
Bonnie Roberts
Elaine Nelson
Ricky Thomason
Jim Zielinski
Tim Owen
Aaron Hurd
Tina Leach
Jackie Anderson
Tim Benton
LaDawn Edwards
Matthew Kresal
Lori J. Connors
Mike Ragoza
Shawn Bailey
Letter from the
Publisher
W
hat a memorable week we have had in
Alabama! We witnessed legal gay marriages in Huntsville, Alabama’s Big
Spring Park and Temple B’nai Sholom! It IS a big
deal. I never thought it would happen in my lifetime. History was made, right here, last week due
to the courage of many.
Another Alabama history making moment is
being commemorated March 5 – 9, the 50th Anniversary of the Selma to Montgomery March.
Alabama is making a new history, one hopefully
without ignorance, hatred, and prejudice.
Peace,
Jill E. Wood
D’Licous Dining
& Smokehouse Grill
American Caribbean
Cuisine & Full Bar
“I don’t care about wealth.
What seems to be upsetting is institutionalising
the advantages that wealth gives you.”
- John Stewart
Tues. - Sat.
10:30am to 9pm
255 Pratt Ave, Hsv
256-469-7271
www.dlicousdining.com
On the Cover:
Deep by Star Weems
S
tarr Weems is an artist who enjoys designing
colorful, dreamlike watercolor paintings.
She has shown solo exhibits at Kentuck
Museum’s Clarke Gallery, Lowe Mill, and the
Birmingham Public Library. Currently, her work
is on display as part of The Arts Council exhibit
at the Von Braun Civic Center. When she isn’t
painting, she is teaching art to teens at Ardmore
High School. To see more of her work, visit www.
StarrWeems.com. 
Jerk Chicken, Ribs, Catfish, Tilapia, Red
Snapper, Wings, Chicken Fingers, Burgers,
Gumbo, Goat & Homemade Sides
Classic
Burger &
Fries $5.59
Thank you for reading the fine print of the Valley Planet. The Valley Planet and valleyplanet.com are published every three weeks by J W Publications in Huntsville, AL. You can pick up the paper free all over the
place or get it free on the web. Copyright 2003 by the Valley Planet, Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction or use without our permission is strictly prohibited. The views and opinions expressed within
these pages and on the website are not necessarily those of the Valley Planet or its staff. The Valley Planet
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www.valleyplanet.com in the archives section. You may reach the Valley Planet office @ 256.533.4613 or
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Subscriptions to the Valley Planet are now available for $50 a year in the USA.
256-533-4613 Valley Planet
Deadline for March 12 Issue is February 27, 2015.
THE VALLEY PLANET
#021915031115
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
3
Humorist Tired of Sitting Down, Tries
Standing Up
by Tim Benton
“T
hat’s not writing, that’s typing,” Truman Capote once said about a writer,
of whom he may have been jealous.
Capote should have realized that typing is hard
enough, particularly when authorwritus sets in, a
debilitating condition that prompts some humorists to stop using their fingers and start using their
mouths.
That’s an endeavor also known as standup comedy. After years of writing my so-called humor,
I decided to try saying it. Into a
microphone. Standing on a stage.
Being stared at.
The last part is the most challenging. Because when you orate that
masterpiece of humor you’ve so
lovingly crafted for the assembled
masses, you never know when
one of them will say “That’s not
joking, that’s talking.”
their starts performing at that venerable institution
of standup comedy known as the “Open Mic.”
Open mic is just what the name implies, open
to anybody. If you’ve ever thought about giving
comedy a try, just show up at one of the weekly
open mic venues in Huntsville and you’ll get five
minutes of stage time. Guaranteed. You’ll be introduced as a “first time comedian.” That’s a good
thing because you’ll capture the full attention of
not only the audience, but the other comics as
well. We automatically like you because we’ve
been where you are now and we know it takes
some nerve to get on a stage
and tell jokes and be stared at.
And we’re pulling for you because we love the Huntsville
comedy scene and always welcome new people to become
part of it.
There’s an open mic somewhere every Monday through
Thursday. Details are at hsvcomedy.com along with all
you need to know about feature comedy shows. As for
open mics, all you need to do is
show up, ask to meet the comedy host, and tell him you would
like to give it a try.
What are you doing here, Mr. Capote? I thought you were dead.
Huntsville, in case you haven’t
heard, is delivering some great
comedy these days, and I don’t
just mean the occasional Jerry Seinfeld that plays
the VBC. We have our own comedy scene. It’s
vibrant, growing, and it’s all happened in about
three years. Touring professional comedians are
making Huntsville a regular stop, joining local
comedians to perform in sold-out rooms at the
Lowe Mill Arts center and other places.
But the heart of the Huntsville comedy scene is
made up of the local comedians, all of whom got
You’ll be glad you did. There’s no feeling like that
heartwarming feeling that comes when you give
the gift of laughter. And always remember this,
if you can tell a joke and just one person laughs,
well, maybe you should rewrite that joke. Better
to have at least two people laughing. Then you’re
on your way!
Sci-Fi Review: Interstellar The Official Movie Novelization
by Matthew Kresal
O
ne of the biggest films of last year was Interstellar, Christopher Nolan’s big budget science fiction film with a cast
including Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain, and Michael Caine. The film has left some scratching their heads over the plot because of occasional bits of drowned
out dialogue and the science behind the fiction. As if to answer
those questions, there’s the official movie novelization written by
science fiction author Greg Keyes.
If the book can be criticized, it’s for two things. Being prose, it of course lacks the film’s visuals but
Keyes’ seems to make little effort in trying to find a way of getting those visual moments across in
prose for the most part, something that can make it difficult to imagine things without having seen the
film first. The second is that the book doesn’t quite shake off its screenplay origins when it sometimes
cuts back and forth between things like in film, often for just a paragraph or less at a time. Those faults
are all fairly minor though and don’t detract much from the book itself.
As a whole, the book not only offers insights into the film but is an enjoyable read in its own right. Even
without the visuals or performances that are such a large part of the film, the book makes for fascinating
reading that adds to the experience of having seen the film. It also shows the power of the story behind
the film and why it’s one of the better science fiction films in recent memory.
#021915031115
“I
’m rich, I’m rich, I’m rich!” cried a diminutive Daffy Duck as he hugged a
gold coin in the classic WB cartoon.
That’s how I mentally reacted on a morning dogwalk in January when I rounded the corner and
saw a Little Free Library (LFL) smiling at me
from its post in front of a white picket fence in
Providence. Right there, right then, I knew I could
help myself to a FREE book from the juicy smorgasbord of reading material in this lovely houseshaped receptacle.
The only identification on the box was a bumper sticker that referenced littlefreelibraries.com.
(When I checked it out later I found an interactive
map to the thousands of LFLs worldwide, including a half dozen in Madison County, AL.) I told
myself that in the interest of spreading the wealth
and making a bit more room to properly display
the collection, I could borrow more than one. For
a friend, you know?
The first titles that greeted me were childhood favorites - “The Secret Garden” and beloved dog
tale “Where the Red Fern Grows.” Oooh, what
else? The LFL was a tad crowded so, I pulled
out a few hardback mysteries to better access
the bestselling trade paperbacks from the past 20
years now hiding in the back row.
But, which one to choose? I was ridiculously curious about the collection and my fellow patrons.
Clearly there was at least one child or encouraging parent who would have contributed a picture
book on baseball... but we’ve got the thoughtprovoking stuff that’s reviewed on NPR like “The
Immortal Life of Henrietta Lapp,” Autobiography of Malcolm X, Patterson whodunits and yes
a paperback romance set in an exotic destination.
Maybe a grownup favorite like “Divine Secrets of
the Ya-Ya Sisterhood? Nope, I mustn’t be greedy
so no taking books I’ve already read.
Hey, what’s this? “A Dirty Job” by Christopher
Moore, a laugh-out-loud author whose work
ranges from modern vampire slaying to gospel
according to Biff. That’s one I needed to read!
Prize triumphantly in hand, I continued my stroll,
pondering what kind of person becomes a LFL
“librarian.”
A few days later I prepared to return a book that
my neighbor passed. But before we reached our
LFL my steadfast Springer spaniel greeted the
groundskeeper at Providence square and I told
him about this new resource. He’s more of a short
story fan, but sent me over to our local dry cleaner
where his best friend works.
The best part of the book might be what it adds to the film. The film is, almost intentionally, a bit vague
regarding certain issues relating to how the Earth is in the situation it’s in when the film begins. The
novelization fills in some of those gaps, building upon the references made in the film’s first half to explore how our world turns into the agrarian one in the film. The book also explores some of the science
involved in more depth than was perhaps possible on-screen, such as explaining a spacecraft maneuver
used late in the film and the nature of black holes. The results add, not detract, from the film itself.
by LaDawn Edwards
Certainly she or he is an avid reader who probably
shares my impulse when we close a good book:
Now, who do I know who’d like to read this? Now
I don’t have to decide, but I can release it into the
wild through LFL. Maybe she wanted more interaction with her neighbors, however subtle, the
way a nature lover might put a birdfeeder outside
the window. Who knows?
The novelization is, like the film itself, built around the screenplay by Christopher Nolan and his brother Jonathan, which gives
the book a strong grounding. Some of the strongest elements of
the film, its characters and dialogue in particular, are all reproduced here. The book also allows for what’s next to impossible to
do on-screen in that it allows the reader to get into the mindset and
motivations of the characters, to explore just why it is they make
the choices that they do. Perhaps the greatest accomplishment of
Keyes’ writing is that he manages to capture some of the film’s
best and most emotional moments without the benefit of either its
myriad performances or its special effects.
4
Providence’s
Little Free Library
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
Two minutes later I was showing the title to her.
With a smile and nod she said, “I’ve been wanting to read that one.” Now, my work was done
here - keeping the book
circulating,
spreading the
word about
a new source
of books, and
doing my bit
to nudge my
neighborhood
towards being
a community
of readers. THE VALLEY PLANET
On a Mural Mission:
From Kenya with Love
Zee’s Rocket City
bEAT
by Lori J. Connors
O
nce upon a time, Jayne Russell sported
around town with a 4-foot stuffed Pink
Panther on the back of her motorcycle,
complete with its own helmet covered with decals. Jayne has always been a renegade, always
willing to try something new and creative.
It began with stained glass in her
spare time. When the physical demands of being a working manager
for her cleaning business became
too much, Jayne came off the road
and expanded her artsy repertoire
with oils, watercolors, jewelry
making, and just about any media
she could get her hands on. Little
did she know that one day, her creativity, and resourcefulness would
take her halfway across the globe.
Through Cove Church, Jayne
caught the “mission bug.” Three
years ago, she went to Costa Rica
to help build a school. Last year, Jayne made her
first trip to Kenya with Kenya Relief. As part of
an Eye-Team, her duties consisted of instilling
pre-op eye drops while praying over the patients.
While in Kenya, Jayne took many beautiful
photos, which provided the inspiration for many
of her paintings.
Jayne had hoped to return to Kenya someday.
Back in the fall, she attended a missionary presentation at Cove, just to hear what the speakers had
to say. One of the speakers spoke about “Going
where God sends you.” His words resonated in
her heart. Then, there was an appeal from Kenya
Relief Founder Steve James. It included a list of
jobs needing to be filled. There was a request for
a mural painter to help beautify the plain cement
walls surrounding the Kenya Relief compound.
“That,” said Jayne, “made it pretty obvious to me
that I was meant to go.”
by Jim Zielinski
With only a few months to raise funds, Jayne
knew that donations would help, but wouldn’t
cover the entire cost of the trip. On a whim, Jayne
started posting art for sale on Facebook and started taking orders for stained glass and paintings
for the holidays. The response was overwhelmingly supportive. Proceeds from her art sales
funded two-thirds of the travel
expenses! This kept Jayne busy
in the studio, making stained
glass crosses, cats, and sunflowers, along with paintings, right
up until New Year’s Eve.
On New Year’s Day, the Kenya Relief group left Huntsville. The travel itinerary was
grueling; 33 hours; starting by
air from Huntsville to Atlanta;
Atlanta to Amsterdam; Amsterdam to Nairobi, then a 7 hour
drive from Nairobi to Migori in
Western Kenya. Then, there’s
the accounting for a 9-hour time difference.
While in Kenya, Jayne worked with JoJo, a local
from the Luo tribe. She generated a lot of attention and not just because of the murals; women
artists are nonexistent in that region. In 10 days,
four murals were completed as Jayne connected
with community, made new friends, and took lots
of amazing photos.
The mission of Kenya Relief is to rekindle hope
for a new generation in Kenya through partnership between communities, uniting for a common
good. For more information, go www.kenyarelief.org.
T
HIS WEEKEND: Maslenitsa, the family-friendly Spring Festival, returns from
10 a.m. – 4 p.m., Saturday, 21 March!
Now at Madison’s James Clemens High School
[11306 County Line Road], it’s hosted by the International Services Council of Alabama, the City
of Madison, and our area’s Eastern European and
Central Asian communities.
By definition, Maslenitsa is a family event, and
this celebration is no exception; moreover, it’s
open to the public: admission is $5 per person;
cash or checks will be accepted.
Families can immerse themselves in the pre-Lenten celebration, indulge in traditional foods, enjoy
authentic regional folksongs and folkdances, take
part in numerous FREE children’s (and adults!)
activities, and experience firsthand an insider’s
view of fifteen nations, including Ukraine, Kazakhstan, Moldova, Russia and Tajikistan!
Maslenitsa’s “edible mascots” are Blini (Crêpes),
further beautified by lashings of honey, preserves,
sour cream, and such. Expect to see mounds of
same, courtesy of St. Michael’s Serbian Orthodox
Church. Plov, the Uzbeki take on Pilaf, will join
the Blini in satiating your hunger…as will an “International Bake Sale.”
Food service begins at 10:00 a.m…and three
bucks gets you two Crêpes and Fixin’s! Get more
info at (256) 585-8354 and olgaosadcii@gmail.
com, or by following “Maslenitsa in Alabama” on
Facebook.
You’ll be hard pressed to find anything like it,
anywhere else in the Southeast.
NASDROVIA!
John and Nose Barisa and I committed a pre-Mardi Gras invasion of Po Boy Factory [815 Andrew
Jackson Way, NE; (256) 539-3616; poboyfactory.
com]: Herr Barisa is most democratic when devouring, explaining that when he bites into food,
he believes “it should bite back.”
The spicy Crawdads we shared with Marie Thigpen bit, big time. Get them while they’re in season!
Speaking of great food, I threw up most of mine
when I saw the parking for the prehistoric VBC
Playhouse is $10:00; $7:00 if you trudge from the
South Hall.
Unchained Maladies
On the happy side of life, Creole Gypsy Taco
Guacamole and I were introduced to a new menu
item by Kelvin Wang, he of Thai Garden [800
Wellman Avenue, NE; (256) 534-0122; ilovethaigarden.com]: Nam Kang Sai!
by Ricky Thomason
L
ike every writer in the Valley Planet I occasionally get requests from
readers to write columns on particular subjects, usually the reader’s pet
peeve.
The presentation of this traditional street food is
enticing…shaved, pinkish ice (via Thai Red Syrup) piled atop a mélange of Jackfruit, Mango, Coconut, Grass Jelly, Red Beans, Palm Seeds, and
more…you don’t need to know all the secrets.
Just how to eat it.
Of sufficient size to share, this dessert is great for
celebratory events, or just a cooling delight. But
why wait? Just mix the shaved ice with the ingredients below it and…have at it.
By the time you’re reading this, Hildegard’s Biergarten [1010 Heathland Drive, NW; (256) 5138260] will have opened (6 February). A fasterpaced “beer garden” with lively music, Sabine
Collins’ newest venture will entice you with Wurst
Shashlik, Bratwurst auf Brötchen, and more.
Lizzy B’s Bakery and Deli [7900 Bailey Cove
Road, SE; Suite 3; (256) 603-7631] is set to open
on the site of the former Coffee Tree Books and
Brew. Join owner Liz Behr on her new Facebook
site for specifics on her grand opening.
Suddenly, I’m craving Lofton’s seafood buffet.
But the site of my Lee High School Class of 1979
Tenth Reunion, as well as Ground Zero - and I do
mean zero - for a misbegotten series of one-acts
involving Gahgee and the Coma Queen (and some
really cool prank calls) is now…well…Pompeian
in stature.
Alas, poor Hilton, we abused thee well.
Kaffeeklatsch Klosed? The shockwaves of this
surprising development will reverberate for years
to come.
This venerable site, which I’ve visited, off and on,
for around 35 years, has been a home-away-fromhome for many of the theatre set, particularly
members of the Twickenham Repertory Company. Lee Deal called it “The Kratsch.”
One ancient memory involves Bettinna Student
and I whiling away our time on a cold, misty winter Sunday at the Spragins Hall hot tubs, winding
up sitting next to the Kaffeeklatsch windows, gazing out into the Londonesque haze whilst sipping
hot chocolate.
Hardly something most people associate with a
blues bar, but there you have it. Maybe sitting in
the back of the joint, discovering Ethel and the
Shameless Hussies, is more your speed.
Already missing Carole Record, Tam-Tam-Let
Fichtl called it the “trendiest watering hole in
town,” full of “nice, funny, zany clients.” Fortunately, the original coffee shop soldiers on.
Everyone chides the French for eating snails;
the Mexicans for eating grasshoppers; the Africans for eating grubs; and the Chinese for eating
what’s left.
When The Apocalypse comes, you’ll be begging
for their recipes.
The latest entreaty was from some guy wanting me to burn the hair off the
Huntsville / Madison County education systems with my thoughts on the Sparkman school kerfuffle.
issue was a deal done behind closed doors, lock, stock and barrel before the dog and pony shows for
the morons were suffered through. At the end of everything count on the evidence that the rich get the
clean end of the stick while the poor get to lick the other.
I gladly entertain suggestions of topics from readers, but I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck and land
in front of this computer. Let me put this as politely as I am capable; if you write me and don’t have the
stones to give me a real email address, name and a working phone number you are a card carrying moron
if you think I am fool enough to write a column based on “facts” you quote without sources, facts you
probably just pulled out of your butt to suit your agenda.
It appears to me that Huntsville and Madison County’s new school plan is “resegregation today, resegregation tomorrow, resegregation forever.”
Here’s a suggestion. Write whatever you want and ask Jill Wood, our editor and publisher if she will
consider giving you the space to express your views. She may very well do that, but you can bet she also
will require correct, pertinent information about you.
If you want 40 words or so to rant anonymously, try the VP’s “From Yuno to Yunohoo” section. Fifteen
or twenty use the Yunos each issue to throw bouquets and grenades. You can even say Huntsville City
School Superintendent Dr. Casey “The Warden” Wardinski has the dull flat, soulless eyes of a shark if
you want. Many might agree with you and add that a smile on his face would be like Judge Judy’s smile.
It looks like she’s growling. (Not me, of course.)
As for my opinion on the Sparkman deal you really are foolish if you think these so called “meetings” to
get input from the public are anything more than a show to give you the illusion that your voice counts
in the decision making process. Are you naïve enough to believe the school boards and superintendents
give a fuzzy, red rat’s butt about what you think? You can bet the farm that the decision on any political
THE VALLEY PLANET
#021915031115
Thanks to frugality turned mental illness and the shameless personal larceny Alabama’s state government worries more about commandments on rocks and the reproductive rights of women (none of
neither my nor their damned business) than education. Schools in Alabama are little more than day
cares for zoo animals.
After almost 20 years of writing about politics in this state I can say with complete conviction that I
would not trust a politician of any ilk in an outhouse with a muzzle on and a bucket over their head.
Will someone (like a federal judge) please whack Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore in the
head with a big gavel and put him out of my misery? He’s already been removed from office once for
violation of his oath of office and is in danger of it happening a second time. He can’t keep his pie hole
shut.
He is the cause of all but 9 counties in Alabama NOT marrying same sex couples on Monday, Feb 9th
after it being legalized on Friday, Feb. 6. Kudos to Judge Ragland and the other 8.
There is a rumor that the Westboro Baptist Church has contacted Moore and offered him a chance to be
head idiot in charge there if he is punted from office again.
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
5
“and produced interesting hypotheses in the ensuing Reddit conversation.”
by Chuck Shepherd
Weird News You Can Use
It turns out that a person having a heart
attack is usually safer to be in an ambulance
headed to a hospital than to already be a patient
in a hospital, according to a study by University
of North Carolina researchers. It takes longer, on
average, for non-ER hospital staff to comply with
hospital protocols in ordering and evaluating tests
(nearly three hours, according to the study) than it
does for ER (and ambulance) staff, who treat every case of cardiac symptoms as life-threatening.
Overall, according to a February Wall Street Journal report, the study found the mortality rate for
heart-attack victims treated in emergency rooms
is 4 percent, compared to 40 percent for patients
already admitted for other reasons and then suffering heart attacks.
The Continuing Crisis
-- Uh-Oh: The man hospitalized in fair
condition in January after being rammed from behind by a car while on his bicycle happened to be
Darryl Isaacs, 50, one of the most ubiquitously
advertising personal-injury lawyers in Louisville,
Kentucky. Isaacs calls himself the “Heavy Hitter”
and the “Kentucky Hammer” for his aggressiveness on behalf of, among other clients, victims of
traffic collisions. The (soon-to-be-poorer) driver
told police the sun got in his eyes.
-- Elephants in Love: (1) India TV reported in January that a wild male elephant from
an adjoining sanctuary had broken into the Nandan Kanan zoo in Odisha, wildly besotted with
a female, Heera. The male cast aside two other
females trying to protect Heera and mated with
her. The male lingered overnight until zookeepers
could shoo him away. (2) A frisky male elephant
crushed four cars in 10 days in January at Thailand’s Khao Yai National Park -- the result, said a
park veterinarian, of the stress of the mating season. (Only the last of the four cars was occupied,
but no injuries were serious.)
-- While nearly all Americans enjoy
low gasoline prices, residents of sea-locked Alaskan towns (Barrow, Kotzebue, Nome, Ketchikan)
have continued to pay their same hefty prices
($7 a gallon, according to one January report on
Alaska Dispatch News). Though the price in Anchorage and Fairbanks resembles that in the rest
of America, unconnected towns can be supplied
only during a four-month breather from icy sea
conditions and thus received their final winter
shipments last summer. The price the supplier
was forced to pay then dictates pump prices until
around May or June.
The Ever-Valuable Internet
In January, “Captain Mercedes,” a registered user of the Reddit.com social media site,
announced he had compiled a data file cataloguing every bowel movement he had in 2014 and
was offering the file to other users to design hypotheses and visual representations of the data in
ways that might improve his relationship with his
alimentary canal. According to the data-analysis
website FiveThirtyEight.com, the “researcher”
used the standard “Bristol stool scale” (seven
categories of excreta, by shape and consistency)
6
Suspicions Confirmed
-- (1) A January examination of New
York City records through NYC Open Data found
that the five most common first names of taxicab
drivers licensed by the city are five variations in
the spelling of the name “Mohammed.” (2) The
last McDonald’s burger to be sold in Iceland before the chain abandoned the country in 2009 has
been on open display at the National Museum of
Iceland and was recently moved to the Bus Hostel
in Reykjavik, “still in good condition,” according
to the hostel manager. “Some people have even
stolen some of the fries.”
-- Harvard University medical researcher Mark Shrime documented recently how
easily made-up research can wind up in reputable-sounding academic journals -- by submitting
an article composed by random-generating text
software, supposedly about “the surgical and neoplastic role of cacao extract in breakfast cereals”
(and authored by “Pinkerton A. LeBrain and Orson Welles”). Of 37 journals, 17 quickly accepted
it, some feigning actually having read it, with the
only catch being that Shrime would have to pay a
standard $500 fee for publication. Shrime warned
that some of the journals have titles dangerously
close to highly respected journals and cautions
journalist (and reader) skepticism.
Wait, What?
Ms. Meng Wang filed a lawsuit recently
in New York City against Gildan Outerwear over
her disappointment with Kushyfoot Shaping
Tights. In television ads, Wang wrote, a young
model sashays down a city street with her eyes
dreamily closed and “moans and utters highly
sexually charged phrases” “including ‘That’s the
spot’ and ‘so good’ ... passersby (stop) in their
tracks to look at her with mouths agape.” Wang
said the ad clearly implies that the tights produce
an orgasmic sensation of some sort, wrote Gothamist.com, but that she, herself, has come up
empty.
Cliches Come to Life
(1) Margaretta Evans, 63, finally reported her missing son to the Myrtle Beach (South
Carolina) Police Department in January. She said
Jason Callahan, who would be 38, had been missing since “early June of 1995” when he left home
to follow the Grateful Dead on tour in California
and Illinois. (2) Riccardo Pacifici, described as
the head of Rome’s Jewish community, was accidentally trapped while visiting the Auschwitz
prison death camp in January on Holocaust Remembrance Day, after staff had departed. When
Pacifici and four associates crawled out through
a window, security officers spotted them, provoking the New York magazine headline, “Polish Police Detained a Jewish Leader Trying to Escape
Auschwitz.”
Least Competent Criminals
-- Two men remain at large after stealing
an ATM from Casino Calgary in Calgary, Alberta,
in January. They had smashed through glass front
doors, unbolted the machine, put it on a dolly and
rolled it to a waiting car (though it briefly toppled
over onto one of the culprits). Managers told police the ATM was empty, disabled and scheduled
to be moved to another location later that day. A
Calgary police officer expressed bemusement at
the city’s recent ATM smash-and-grab epidemic,
since the machines are hard to unbolt, hard to
open and emptied several times a day. “It’s a very
ineffective way to make a living.”
-- Unwise Robbery Target: Police in
Champaign, Illinois, charged Clayton Dial, 23,
with robbery on New Year’s night, for carrying
a pellet gun into the Kamakura Japanese restaurant and demanding money from the hostess.
However, he fled quickly when chef Tetsuji Miwa
walked over, holding his large sushi knife. “He
saw the blade,” Miwa said later, and “started running.” (Miwa and two co-workers gave chase and
held him for police.)
Recurring Themes
One of the legendary American lawsuit
successes is the 1970 award of $50,000 to Gloria Sykes, whose brain injury on a San Francisco
cable car left the previously modest Midwestern
woman with an unrestrained libido. News of the
#021915031115
Weird reported a similar such case, from London,
in December 2006. Now, in January 2015, the
British Columbia Supreme Court awarded Alissa
Afonina $1.5 million for her auto-accident brain
injury. She was apparently a demure, high-achieving student, but following the 2008 collision, she
had no impulse control, become “isolated,” had
“outbursts,” made “inappropriate sexual comments” -- and was able to earn a living only as
a dominatrix. (Alfonina’s mother, also injured in
the accident, was awarded $940,000.)
Good Ol’ Boy
A miles-long traffic jam on Interstate 20
near Tuscaloosa, Alabama, on Jan. 25 and on into
the next morning was caused by an 18-wheeler
that jackknifed and overturned when the 57-yearold driver took his hands off the wheel to pull out
a tooth with his fingers. Efforts to haul the truck
from the roadside required an hours-long detour
of traffic off of the interstate. (The driver’s mission was successful; he had the tooth in his pocket
when rescued.)
Unclear on the Concept
-- Luis Moreno Jr., 26, was pursued by
police in Fort Lee, New Jersey, after he entered the
carpool lane approaching the George Washington Bridge in January because he appeared to be
alone in his SUV. After ignoring several signals to
pull over, he finally stopped and, when informed
of his offense, told the officer, “I have two passengers in the back” and rolled down a window to
show them (in the vehicle’s third row), apparently
satisfying the officer. However, as Moreno pulled
away, one passenger began screaming and banging on the back door. Moreno sped off with his
hostages, but was subsequently stopped again and
charged with kidnapping and criminal restraint
(but no HOV violation!).
-- Mike Montemayor, until recently a
county commissioner in Laredo, Texas, pleaded
guilty to bribery charges in June and had argued
in January 2015 that he should get a light sentence because, after all, he had subsequently
helped FBI agents in a sting against three other
officials accused of bribery. However, the prosecutor immediately countered that Montemayor
had in fact tried to steal the recording devices and
Apple computer the FBI had furnished him to do
the undercover work. (He got six years in prison
and a $109,000 fine.)
Compelling Explanations
-- Lame: (1) Briton Roberto Collins, 51,
was sentenced to 13 months in jail by Manchester
Crown Court in January after being caught standing on a ladies’ room toilet and peering into the
next stall. He told police he stood up only to better
scratch an itch and was in the ladies’ room only
because, wearing faulty glasses, he thought it was
the men’s room. (2) Scotsman Dean Gilmartin,
25, actually persuaded a judge at Perth Sheriff
Court in January of his “innocence” -- that he
might not have been masturbating at the front
window of his home. He admitted he was nude
(changing clothes), but pointed out that he plays
musical instruments and was probably just picking out tunes on his ukulele (rather than “holding”
his genitals and moving “side to side,” as a neighbor had charged).
-- Explanation for Child-Porn Possession Never Before Heard: Poet Les Merton, 70,
denied in January that he had ever abused children, but had a more difficult time explaining why
a child-porn website had his credit card information. Merton holds the appointed title of Cornish
bard in Cornwall, England, and is the author of
the Official Encyclopedia of the Cornish Pasty -and explained in Truro Crown Court that he must
have mindlessly entered his credit card information while researching the 19th-century Russian
figure Rasputin.
What Researchers Do
“Entomologists are not like other people,” Wired.com reported in January, revealing
that two of them had “proudly” issued “birth”
announcements for the “Human bot fly” whose
larvae one had let gestate beneath his skin for
two months. Scientist Piotr Naskrecki and photographer Gil Wizen had been inadvertently bitten while on assignment in Belize and decided the
egg-laying “attack” on a human was an important
opportunity for research. After all, Naskrecki
said, he had never seen an adult bot fly “crawl
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
out” of its host.
New World Order
-- Last year in Middle East school
markets, the worldwide publishing giant HarperCollins was selling a popular atlas whose maps
pretended there was no such country as Israel.
The space that is Israel was merged into Jordan,
Syria and Gaza. The company said it was merely
honoring “local preferences” of potential atlas
purchasers, whom HarperCollins presumed were
Arabs wishing that Israel did not exist. (In January 2015, the company finally changed course,
publicly “regretted” its decision and recalled all
existing stock.)
-- Montanan John Abarr told the Great
Falls Tribune in November that his Rocky Mountain Knights of the Ku Klux Klan opposes the
“new world order” pushing a “one government”
system on the planet -- but also stands against
discrimination based on race, religion or sexual
orientation. “White supremacy is the old Klan,”
he said. “This is the new Klan” (except that, he
said, robes and hoods will still be required, along
with “secret rituals”).
-- The New Normal: In January, Mittens the kitten and Charcoal the Chihuahua mix
made news as hermaphrodites whose veterinarians had recommended which gender the sinceadopted strays should retain. Mittens, of the town
of Heart’s Desire, Newfoundland, was scheduled
for “gender assignment” surgery to become solely
male, and Charcoal, of Boise, Idaho, is recovering from mid-January surgery to leave her exclusively female. News reports did not disclose why
“male” was chosen for Mittens, but the doctor
said correcting Charcoal’s pre-surgery problem,
urination, would be less stressful as a female.
Fine Points of the Law
The Supreme Court of Canada turned
down Joel Ifergan’s appeal in January, leaving his
winning-number lottery ticket from 2008 worthless. He had bought two tickets seconds before the
9 p.m. deadline on May 23 of that year, and the
tickets had started to print on the store’s machine,
but only the first one carried that day’s date. By
the time the second one -- with winning numbers
for the $27 million jackpot -- had gone through
the lottery’s central computer system and back to
the store’s printer, the program had already kicked
over to the following day and to the next week’s
drawing.
Undignified Deaths
(1) Police in Seville, Spain, reported
in November that a 23-year-old medical student
visiting from Poland accidentally fell to her death
at the famous Puente de Triana bridge when she
maneuvered herself into position on a ledge to
take a “selfie.” It was the third “selfie” death on
the Iberian peninsula in five months; in August
a tourist couple (both also from Poland) fell to
their deaths while posing for their photo at Cabo
de Roca, Portugal. (2) In January, a tourist visiting the Spanish island of Ibiza with her boyfriend
jumped up joyously as he proposed marriage to
her, lost her balance and fell 65 feet off a cliff to
her death.
Recurring Themes
Ultra-Expensive Trysts: The ones reported previously in News of the Weird involved
celebrities ultimately nailed for high-ticket child
support payments based on a single encounter
(e.g., tennis star Boris Becker, who admitted conceiving a child in a restaurant closet rendezvous).
British tourist Peter Cousins, 55, is now dealing
with a medical bill of $250,000 after deciding that
the middle of a Nevada desert was a good place to
have sex -- which provoked a heart attack, leading to emergency rescue and a five-day hospital
stay (and, eventually, breakup with his then-girlfriend).
Send your weird news to
WeirdNews at
earthlink dot net,
and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.
Copyright,
Chuck Shepherd
THE VALLEY PLANET
The Original Public House –
A Nice Upgrade
by Mike Ragoza
W
R
ecently visited the former Finnegan’s Pub which has been
transformed inside and out to the new Original Public
House. The restaurant off of South Memorial Parkway near
Hollywood 18 has been cleaned up and brightened up on the inside, and the menu overhauled as well as part of new ownership.
But what about the food? In short, it was very good and definitely
worth a return visit.
We started with the Beer Chips with cheese and bacon, but this was
the one letdown of the entire meal as the chips came out cold. In
talking to the owner later he mentioned that a new timer for their
broiler should fix that problem. They did reheat our chips but it
wasn’t quite the same. The main courses were much better. The
Pretzel Covered Chicken with a honey mustard sauce with a slight
kick was tasty and moist. The sandwich was large too, necessitating a take home bag. The Crispy Cod was equally tasty, moist, and hot and our sides of cabbage and
homemade mashed potatoes complemented a first-rate meal. Good beer and wine selection including
my favorites from Stone Brewery in California. I left room somehow for the dessert a bread pudding
that was delicious, nailing my sweet tooth.
The service was very good, too. They do not take reservations but offer “call ahead” seating, which we
employed on a busy Saturday night. We only waited a minute or two once we arrived. The servers all
have tablets that sped up the order and delivery process- their goal is your meal in less than 15 minutes,
ours was around 10. The place was packed but the entire wait staff really hustled and I never had to
wait for anything.
Overall just a great meal, The Original Public House is just a few crispy potato chips away from perfect.
The Original Public House won 1st Place for Best New Restaurant in the Valley Planet’s Best of the
Valley Readers’ Poll!
elcome to the Jazz Lounge. This session
will focus on Kenneth Bruce Gorelick,
better known as Kenny G. This saxophonist has had one of the most eclectic and dominant careers the music business has ever seen. He
has maintained a high level of creative excellence
through decades of unprecedented commercial
success by never allowing himself to stay in one
place too long. That reputation for musical curiosity stays well intact on his latest release – his 14th
studio album - ‘Brazilian Nights’.
Kenny says, “I’ve been in love with bossa nova
my whole life. I think the first song that won me
over was Cannonball Adderley’s version of ‘Quiet Nights,” and more recently I’ve been listening
(non-stop!) to Stan Getz’s album ‘Getz For Lovers’. I think I’ve listened to that record almost every day for the past 5 years, and it really was the
inspiration in making this album. My goal was not
only to make a bossa nova album that pays tribute
to the ‘Masters’ who I’ve been listening to (Cannonball Adderley, Paul Desmond and Stan Getz)
but also to write and record original bossa novas
that I hope can ‘hold their own’ in this distinguished company. I humbly say that I feel we’ve
succeeded.”
Starting with melodious sounds of ‘Bossa Antiqua,” the 10-track album is a mixture of classics
and Kenny G originals. Writing five of the ten
tracks with longtime collaborator (and co-producer) Walter Afanasieff, the veteran performer plays
alto, tenor, and soprano sax, and is especially outstanding on tracks like ‘Bossa Real’, ‘April Rain’,
and the title track ‘Brazilian Nights’. This is a
very impressive album.
Kenny G admits that he took his time making this
album, as he wanted to immerse himself into the
light and melodic sounds of music from across the
globe. He says, “I spent a year and a half study-
Dr. Anarcho’s Rx For Old Stuff That Don’t
Suck: Tony Joe White – Any and all.
W
e recently had the pleasure - make that
honor – of seeing Tony Joe White perform at the City Winery in Nashville.
The “Polk Salad Annie” man is still alive and
well. In fact, he is better than ever. Over the decades White has released 16 studio albums and
four “live” ones.
You can’t go wrong with any of them and they
are timeless, each as good as or better than the
previous offerings. His latest “Hoodoo” is no exception.
While having a number of hits on his own, White
is a prolific writer and a rarity these days because
his lyrics actually mean something. He is a poet
and storyteller. He wrote the soulful, heartbreaking “Rainy Night In Georgia” and it gained international acclaim when picked up by Brook
Benton and went to the top of the charts. Rainy
Night is so different from “Polk Salad Annie”
that many, including me at one point, had no idea
that White penned the song. He also has numerous other songs that were covered by other artists including Tina Turner’s version of “Steamy
Windows.”
His four piece travelling band is magnificent and
as tight as any I have ever heard. He also performs
solo or with just a drummer, and what a steady
drummer, a solid metronome with such steady
3/4 time licks that even white people can dance to
them and clap on time.
White has a cult following in the US and Does
world tours regularly. He is particularly beloved
in Europe.
I have his entire discography and listen to all of it
regularly. They are like visiting old friends.
Incidentally, “City Winery” in Nashville is one
of the best venues you will ever see a performer.
THE VALLEY PLANET
ing and embracing the style of the
bossa novas from decades ago. I had
fun and learned a lot during my wonderful labor of love, and I truly hope
you get the same pleasure from this
album that I have experienced when
I sit down after a long day and put on
my ‘bossa nova’ sounds. Words can’t describe
that feeling but hopefully the melodies that I’ve
played here will.”
Melodies and music have long been a signature
part of Kenny G’s life. Since releasing his selftitled debut disc in the fall of 1982, he has become
the biggest selling instrumental musician of the
modern era, and one of the best-selling artists of
all time, with global sales totaling more than 75
million records. His biggest album was 1992’s
‘Breathless’ – which sold 12 million copies in the
United States alone. In addition, his 1994 Christmas album ‘Miracle: The Holiday Album’ ranks
as one of the most successful Yuletide albums
ever – with sales of over 8 million copies. Seven
of his singles have hit the Top 40 on the Billboard
Hot 100. He has also been ranked as one of the
most played artists in the Adult Contemporary
format – with 9 top ten singles. His biggest hit
came with 1987’s ‘Songbird’, which peaked at # 4
on the Hot 100. Kenny G continues to play to sold
out venues both here and abroad, with dates on
his calendar already filled through mid-2015.
Kenny G has collaborated with some of the biggest names in the business during his legendary
career, ranging from Michael Bolton to Weezer to
Whitney Houston. He recently worked with pop
superstar Katy Perry on her single ‘Last Friday
Night’.
‘Brazilian Nights’ would make a great addition to
your collection.
That’s it for this session of the Jazz Lounge. You
can always reach me at teekynyc@yahoo.com.
Until next time, stay cool, & keep it jazzy!
They have an acoustically perfect design and you
can eat an upscale, white table cloth dinner while
some of the top singer / songwriters of today perform.
The food is pricey, but the tickets for the shows
are not. Twenty–two dollars per seat put us less
than 15 feet from the stage. City Winery is one
of the new concept “green” wine bars. It has neither bottles nor corks. Wines are shipped in from
many of the best vineyards in the world in the
casks in which they are aged. A layer or argon gas
keeps oxygen away and the wines are on tap, just
like draft beers.
We will definitely be back; especially if Tony Joe
White returns and the place is only 40 miles from
Whites country home in Franklin, TN.
For the uninitiated White fans, his “Greatest Hits”
album is a good starting place, but be warned. It
is addictive.
Tracks are:
1. Polk Salad Annie
2. Soul Francisco
3. Willie and Laura Mae Jones
4. Rainy Night in Georgia
5. Roosevelt and Ira Lee (Night of the Mossacin)
6. Stockholm Blues
7. High Sheriff of Calhoun Parrish
8. Old Man Willis
9. Train I’m On
10. If I Ever Saw a Good Thing
11. As the Crow Files
12. Even Trolls Love Rock and Roll
13. Backwoods Preacher Man
14. Takin’ the Midnight Train
15. Did Somebody Make a Fool out of You
16. They Caught the Devil and Put Him in Jail in
Eudora, Arkansas
17. Saturday Night in Oak Grove Louisiana
18. I’ve Got a Thing About You Baby
19. For Ol’ Times Sake
20. Ol’ Mother Earth
#021915031115
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
7
Marley From the Darkside
I
t was a typical Sunday, lying around with my human, and indulging in a rousing game of Wake and
Bake, I believe it’s called, when the television caught my eye. My human usually keeps some sort
of animated thing or blood soaked, guitar heavy naked lady program of sorts on the thing, but today
in his apparent stupor the channel sits idle and I saw something I couldn’t believe.
It was a little man in a very expensive suit, waving his diamond encrusted fingers in the air, asking other
poorer humans to send him money to help.
Help who?
Well, him, apparently.
He spoke of a place called Heaven, to which tickets seem very expensive, and a place called Hell,
where you go if you don’t have any money or disagree with Diamond fingers. At any rate the poor don’t
seem to get much more than an honorable mention when it comes to these TV guys.
About this time my human wakes up, briefly, just long enough to mutter something about the size of the
preacher’s house and the sports car he drives, then back to his nap. He does have a point. These men
whom we trust to use money given to help the poor are lining their pockets with the hopes and dreams
of people giving, and the people hoping to receive. Geez man, these cats are dressed better than a New
Orleans pimp, during Mardi Gras. It really is no wonder that I hate most of you humans, especially the
dumb ones.
Speaking of humans, mine
is wide awake now, and the
TV preacher is no more.
Black Sabbath videos now
rule the screen and my human is cursing something
called a network for letting these Bible thumping
thieves on the air in the
first place. “Never trust a
preacher wearing a Rolex,”
as if I give a s***, but it
makes my human calm if I
pretend to care.
That Game Show Thing: Coming Soon to a Lowe Mill Near You!
I
f you’ve ever wanted to go behind the scenes of a game show, and just don’t have the means to
stand in line wearing a stupid tee shirt asking Bob Barker to put you on TV (which wouldn’t work
since he’s retired - at this point that’s just stalking), then I’d suggest you head over to Lowe Mill
on February 28 at 8pm (at Prototype Studios near Vertical House Records) for taping (digitaling??) of
That Game Show Thing.
$8 will get you in. You won’t get to be a contestant/panelist because they’ve already been chosen (Beth
Norwood, Sam Ashby, Mark Bentley, and Sam McLeroy have that honor this time), but you can watch
the whole process and stay for a Q&A with the cast and crew after.
That Game Show Thing was started by host Tom Hand (who had done an earlier version in 2014), and
team captains Stephen Claybrooks and Patrick Cunningham, who had previously worked together
developing a sitcom. But that didn’t work out for various reasons, and now they’re in the game show
biz. They partnered with Prototype Studios to make what they say may be “the only full studio, professional, game show being made in the state of Alabama.” They’re hoping to shop the format around to
networks and content generators.
Yes, but what is it?
The format of the show will be in the vein of British panel games, where it’s more about just entertaining the audience. So, in American terms kind of like @Midnight with more people. There will be two
teams, each with 3 people. Round one will involve contestants answering questions in funny/creative
ways. Round 2 will be improvisational challenges. Round 3 will be rapid fire quips. Points will be
awarded in a somewhat arbitrary system, but who cares? It’s not about winning. It’s not about knowing
that the capital of Iceland is Reykjavik. It’s about being awesomely funny and knowing that comedy
is going to be judged. Possibly harshly.
So check it out. Enjoy some comedy. Wear a stupid tee shirt to get Bob Barker’s attention. And don’t
forget to answer in the form of a question. Okay, I’m going to stop here because now I’m just making
random references to old game shows and I’ll probably just keep on doing it till I select door number
3, which is the end of this article.
Well the magic smoke is
filling the air, so it’s time
to get up from here and go
over there.
F*** catnip.
Hey preacher, what’s in your wallet?...........Meow.
8
#021915031115
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
THE VALLEY PLANET
Thank You for
Voting Us #1
Best Liquor/Beer
Store!!!
On the Corner of
Church St. & Pratt Ave
256 539-4333
The Largest Import and Gourmet
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THE VALLEY PLANET
#021915031115
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
9
Thursday, February 19
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Dave Anderson
BLUE PANTS BREWERY, Seducing Alice
D’LICOUS DINING (SEE AD PG.3), Karaoke
FURNITURE FACTORY, Robby Eichman
GUADALAJARA (DECATUR), Karaoke w/ DJ
Jammin Jeff
HICKORY HOUSE, Karaoke
HIGHWAY HAVEN, Karaoke
HOPPER’S, Karaoke w/ DJ Tara
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), Cash Colley
MADISON STATION BAR & GRILL, Karaoke w/
Jim McGriff
MAGGIE MEYER’S (SEE AD PG.11), The Kid
MOODY MONDAYS, Karaoke
MVP SPIRTIS, Chris & Tommy
PINCHI’S PLACE 2 (PRICEVILLE), Karaoke w/
Hit Master D
SAMMY T’S, DJ Keibot and DJ Blin
SPORTS PAGE, 5ive O’clock Charlie
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Tim Cannon
THE HOT SPOT, Bike Night w/ Live Music
VOODOO LOUNGE, Open Mic
W��
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El�� G�e�!
ENTERTAINMENT
Friday, February 20
AMERICAN LEGION POST 176, The Mersey
Band
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Red Headed Step Child
BISHOP’S WEST, Karaoke w/ Hit Master D
BLUE PANTS BREWERY, Dr. Whateva Duo
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.10), Steady Rollers
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
FURNITURE FACTORY, Juice
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Groove
HOPPER’S, Kozmic Mama
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), Trick Zipper
JEFFERSON STREET PUB, Chad Bradford
JUNO, Dave McConnell
LEEANN’S, Space Donkeys
FRI 02/20 - STEADY ROLLERS
SAT 02/21 - ST.VALENTINE’S DAY
MASSACRE PARTY
MR. CROWLEY
FRI 02/27 - “347”
SAT 02/28 - CRUSH
FRI 03/06 - SPACE DONKEYS
SAT 03/07 - BLACK LABEL
FRI 03/13 - BIG DADDY KINGFISH
SAT 03/14 - WET BANDITS
ST. PADDY’S PARTY
FRI 03/20 - CHAKA BOOM
SAT 03/21 - RELAYER
TRIVIA
T�� Pla��
T� B�
S��
S�u��
H�nt��!
LIVE MUSIC TUESDAY - SATURDAY
Mon- 50¢
Smoked
Chicken Wings
Saturday
Brunch 10 AM
Tues 1/2 Price
Burgers
Happy Hour
Everyday
11AM - 6PM
Wed - $6
Steak & Side
Meadowbrook Shopping Center
11208 Memorial Parkway SW
Huntsville, AL 35803
Must Be 21
with Valid ID
10
Saturday, February 21
AMERICAN LEGION POST 176, Karaoke
CD PUB, Karaoke w/ Hit Master D
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.10), St. Valentine’s
Day Massacre Party Mr. Crowley
FURNITURE FACTORY, Calico
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Down South
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), Dirt Circus
JEFFERSON STREET PUB, Jeff & Jordan
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEEANN’S, Real Deal
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w Mike B
LONE GOOSE, 45 Surprise
Jim McGriff
MAGGIE MEYER’S (SEE AD PG.11), Mayhem 
MOE’S (DECATUR), Alexa Rankin/Rachel Kate
MOE’S (PROVIDENCE), Mike Roberts
MVP SPIRTIS, Emma Klein
STRAIGHT TO ALE, Dawn Osborne Band
TANGLED STRING STUDIO, Ricky j Taylor Band
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Jeff Whitlow & the Old
Barn Band
THE HOT SPOT, David Holland and the
Bootleggers
VOODOO LOUNGE, King’s Haze
Sunday, February 22
COTTON ROW, Sunday Brunch w/ Ken Watters
& Keith Taylor
EAGLES (DECATUR), Karaoke w/ Hit Master D
LONE GOOSE, Sunday Night Blues Jam
VOODOO LOUNGE, Karaoke w/ DJ Brandon
FRI 03/27 - DRIVEN UNDER
SAT 03/28 - NO RECESS
Every Tuesday – 7:30 PM &
Every Friday – 6:30 PM
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w Mac Lawrence
LONE GOOSE, Upper Decker
Jim McGriff
MOE’S (PROVIDENCE), Cheryl Llewellyn
MVP SPIRTIS, Tyler AK
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Mad Hatters
THE HOT SPOT, Karaoke
VOODOO LOUNGE, 5ive O’clock Charlie
NO
COVER
CHARGE
MON - THURS 11AM - 12 AM
FRI 11 AM - 2 AM
SAT 10 AM - 2 AM
256-704-5555
109 Washington Street, Huntsville, AL 35801
www.humphreysdowntown.com
Monday, February 23
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Robby Eichman
COPPERTOP, Karaoke w/ DJ Wes
FURNITURE FACTORY, Open Jam w/ Andrew
Johnson and Clay O’Dell
MAC’S SPORTSBAR (ATHENS), Hitmaster D
Karaoke
Jim McGriff
THE HOT SPOT, Ladies Night
VOODOO LOUNGE, Josh Allison
Tuesday, February 24
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Josh Allison
FURNITURE FACTORY, Karaoke w/ Super Lou
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), Aaron Bradley
Jim McGriff
MAGGIE MEYER’S (SEE AD PG.11), Karaoke w/
DJ Wes
MOODY MONDAYS, Open Mic
SPORTS PAGE, Chelvis and the Bean
VOODOO LOUNGE, Dave Anderson
Wednesday, February 25
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Microwave Dave
BLUE PANTS BREWERY, We Care
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), Zach Mayhall
LISA’S LOUNGE, Ladies Night Karaoke w/ KJ
Aubrey
Jim McGriff
music cont. on pg. 11
#021915031115
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
THE VALLEY PLANET
music cont. from pg. 10
MAGGIE MEYER’S (SEE AD PG.11), Open Mic
MVP SPIRTIS, Open Mic
NICK’S RISTORANTE, Josh Allison
THE FOYER, Open Mic
VOODOO LOUNGE, Dr. Whateva
BLUE PANTS BREWERY, Aaron Bradley
FURNITURE FACTORY, Scott Morgan
Jammin Jeff
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), Mayhem
Jim McGriff
MAGGIE MEYER’S (SEE AD PG.11), Tyler
MVP SPIRTIS, Chris & Tommy
NICK’S RISTORANTE, Gus Hergert
Hit Master D
Friday, February 27
Band
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.10), 347
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
FURNITURE FACTORY, Relayer
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Whiskey
Straight
HOPPER’S, Groove
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), Seducing Alice
JUNO, Dave McConnell
LEEANN’S, Big Daddy Kingfish
LONE GOOSE, Permagroove
Jim McGriff
MAGGIE MEYER’S (SEE AD PG.11), Tres Locos
MVP SPIRTIS, Dawn Osborne Trio
NICK’S RISTORANTE, Dave McConnell
STRAIGHT TO ALE, Alex Dietrich
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Coal Rain
VOODOO LOUNGE, Rachel Kate (Nashville)
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.10), Crush
FURNITURE FACTORY, FD/DC
HARD DOCK CAFE (DECATUR), Unbroken
HOPPER’S, Groove
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), Sweet Tea
Jubilee
JEFFERSON STREET PUB, Larry Fleet
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
LEEANN’S, Tom Cat Bark the Dog
LISA’S LOUNGE, Karaoke w Mike
LONE GOOSE, Steady Rollers
Jim McGriff
MAGGIE MEYER’S (SEE AD PG.11), Mystery
Twins
MVP SPIRTIS, Christian Lee
SAMMY T’S, Chippendale’s
THE BRICK (DECATUR), Plato Jones
THE HOT SPOT, Horizon
VOODOO LOUNGE, Lance Almon Smith
Sunday, March 1
& Keith Taylor
THE VALLEY PLANET
THE WELL CHURCH (PULASKI), Timothy Davis
Monday, March 2
COPPERTOP, Karaoke w/ DJ Wes
FURNITURE FACTORY, Open Jam w/ Andrew
Johnson and Clay O’Dell
MAC’S SPORTSBAR (ATHENS), Hitmaster D
Karaoke
VOODOO LOUNGE, James Irvin
Tuesday, March 3
FURNITURE FACTORY, Karaoke w/ Super Lou
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), Aaron Bradley
Jim McGriff
DJ Wes
Wednesday, March 4
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), Tim Cannon
LISA’S LOUNGE, Ladies Night Karaoke w/ KJ
Aubrey
Jim McGriff
MVP SPIRTIS, Open Mic
STRAIGHT TO ALE, Bluegrass Jam
THE FOYER, Open Mic
Presented by Valley Planet & Maggie Meyers, in cooperation
with Singing River, Trim Tab, & Old Black Bear Breweries
Maggie Meyers Marathon
O' Mayhem & Merriment
5 days of St Paddy's Fun
Corned Beef & Cabbage and other Traditional
Irish Foods, Local Craft Beer & Irish Beer Specials,
Drink Specials, T-shirts & Giveaways, Darts-Live!
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Thursday, March 5
FURNITURE FACTORY, Robby Eichman
Jammin Jeff
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), Cheryl
Llewellyn
Jim McGriff
MOE’S (PROVIDENCE), Drew Richter
Hit Master D
Friday, March 6
Band
BISHOP’S EAST, Blackbird
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.10), Space Donkeys
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
FURNITURE FACTORY, Duane Walker
HOPPER’S, Emily Joseph Band
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), Winslow Davis
Ensemble
Jim McGriff
MVP SPIRTIS, Flux Capacitator Overdrive
VOODOO LOUNGE, Chop Daddy
Saturday, March 7
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.10), Black Label
music cont. on pg. 12
#021915031115
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
11
music cont. from pg. 11
HOPPER’S, Emily Joseph Band
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), 45 Surprise
JEFFERSON STREET PUB, Wes Loper
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
Jim McGriff
MAGGIE MEYER’S (SEE AD PG.11), Lost Dog
NICK’S RISTORANTE, Dave McConnell
THE HOT SPOT, Behind the Wire
Sunday, March 8
& Keith Taylor
MAGGIE MEYER’S (SEE AD PG.11), Slip Jig
Monday, March 9
COPPERTOP, Karaoke with DJ Wes
VOODOO LOUNGE, Cheryl Llewllyn
Tuesday, March 10
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), Winslow Davis
Jim McGriff
DJ Wes
Wednesday, March 11
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), Mike Slaten
LISA’S LOUNGE, Ladies Night Karaoke w/ KJ Aubrey
12
Jim McGriff
THE FOYER, Open Mic
Thursday, March 12
11TH FRAME, Hawthorne Heights
Jammin Jeff
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), George Scherer
Jim McGriff
Hit Master D
Friday, March 13
Band
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.10), Big Daddy
Kingfish
EL HERRADURA, Edgar
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10), CBDB Album
Release Party
Jim McGriff
MAGGIE MEYER’S (SEE AD PG.11), Slip Jig
MVP SPIRTIS, Christian Lee
VOODOO LOUNGE, Dawn Osborne
Saturday, March 14
AMERICAN LEGION POST 176,
Karaoke
BANDITO SOUTHSIDE, Dave
Anderson
DIAMONDS (SEE AD PG.10), St.
Patty’s Day Party w/ Wet Bandits
HUMPHREY’S (SEE AD PG.10),
Winslow Davis, Chelvis &the
Bean, Chris Stalcup Trio, The
Beasley Brothers
LAS TROJAS, Edgar
MADISON STATION BAR &
GRILL, Karaoke w/ Jim McGriff
MAGGIE MEYER’S (SEE AD
PG.11), Chris Conway bagpipes,
Tony Perdue & The Devastators
NICK’S RISTORANTE, Dave
McConnell
SAMMY T’S, DJ Keibot and
DJ Blin
STRAIGHT TO ALE, St. Patty’s
Day Celebration w/ Bourbon &
Shamrocks
THE HOT SPOT, Buck Sixx
VOODOO LOUNGE, Ant &
Andrew Sharp
Sunday, March 15
COTTON ROW, Sunday Brunch
w/ Ken Watters & Keith Taylor
EAGLES (DECATUR), Karaoke w/
Hit Master D
LONE GOOSE, Sunday Night
Blues Jam
MAGGIE MEYER’S (SEE AD
PG.11), Variety Drag Show
VOODOO LOUNGE, Karaoke w/
DJ Brandon
ATLANTA
February 19, Maroon Five, Philips Arena
February 21, Charlie Wilson w/ Kem, Philips Arena
February 21. Tinsley Ellis, Variety Playhouse
February 26, Sojo, Masquerade
February 26, The Punch Brothers, The Tabernacle
February 26, Future Islands, Variety Playhouse
February 27, Lights, Masquerade
February 27, Willie Nelson, Variety Playhouse
February 28, Corey Smith, Variety Playhouse
February 28, Billy Joel, Philips Arena
March 7, Bush, Variety Playhouse
March 9, Fifth Harmony, Buckhead Theatre
March 10, Hozier, Variety Playhouse
March 13, Hozier, The Tabernacle
March 13, John Mellencamp, Fox Theatre
BIRMINGHAM
February 22, Charlie Wilson w/ Kem, Legacy Arena at BJCC
February 24, Jason Aldean, Bancorp South Arena
March 6, Little Big Town, BJCC Concert Hall
March 7, Gladys Knight, BJCC Concert Hall
March 12, John Mellencamp, BJCC Concert Hall
March 15, Santana, BJCC Concert Hall
HUNTSVILLE
February 23, Gordon Lightfoot, VBC Concert Hall
March 4, Elton John, VBC Propst Arena
NASHVILLE
February 21, Jason Aldean, Bridgestone Arena
February 27, Maroon 5, Bridgestone Arena
February 27, Punch Brothers, Ryman Auditorium
March 1, Lights, Rocktown Main Building,
March 1, Chris Brown, Bridgestone Arena
March 3 – 4, Willie Nelson, Ryman Auditorium
March 8, Hound Mouth, Twin Limb, 3rd and Lindsey
March 11, Santana, Ryman Auditorium
March 14, Hozier, Ryman Auditorium
March 14, Catfish & the Bottleman, The High Wyatt
the end!!
History Made
in Alabama!
Legal Same Sex
Marriages Held in
Big Spring Park!
#021915031115
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
THE VALLEY PLANET
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
The North Alabama Center for Educational
Excellence will be offering help to find money
for college during February and March which are
designated as Financial Aid Awareness Months. The
centers will be open Monday - Friday 8am - 5pm and
Saturdays 9am - 1pm. www.nacee.net, 256-372-4600.
Alabama Center for the Arts will host a showing of
work by Artist Michael Liu, Paper and Portraits on
display now through February 25.
The Weeden House will have the exhibit, “A Century
of Fashions and Wedding Gowns” on display now
through February 28th daily except Mondays.
https://weedenhousemuseum.com.
The Monrovia Masterminds Science Club will meet
at 4pm for Kids in grades 2-5 to explore potential and
kinetic energy at the Monrovia Branch Library. Free.
256-489-3392.
The UAH Office of Multicultural Affairs Annual Black
History Month Luncheon will be celebrating 25 years
featuring the melodic voices of 8VALuation at the
UAH Shelby Center, Room 301. $12. 256-824-2332
There will be a Music Forum from the Constellation
Concert Series at 9:35am in Roberts Recital Hall at
UAH. $10 and free for students. www.uah.edu.
The US Space and Rocket Center will have The
Exhibit: 101 Inventions That Changed the World
now through March 15. 256-837-3400.
Carnegie Visual Arts will have the exhibit
Photographs of North Alabama on display through
March 7. www.carnegiearts.org.
The Huntsville Botanical Gardens will show the
work of William Thomas through April 15.
www.hsvbg.org.
The Alabama Master Gardener Volunteer program
will meet every Thursday through April 30th. The
meetings will be at the Tennessee Valley Research and
Extension Center two miles north of Belle Mina.
www.mginfo.org.
The Huntsville Museum of Art will have the exhibits,
Grandma Moses: Visions of America through March
1, and Rembrandt, Rubens, Gainsborough & The
Golden Age of Painting in Europe now through
April 26th. www.hsvmuseum.org.
The Shirts-n-Skirts square dance club will have
dancing on the 1st & 3rd Thursdays at the Dance
Factory on Freeman Ave. then on the 2nd & 4th
Thursdays at the Athens Recreation Center on Hwy
31. 256-423-4141, www.shirts-n-skirts.com.
Call for entries begin now for Decatur’s Princess
Theatre 5th Annual River City Film Festival held April
10 - 11. 256-350-1745 x 301,
www.facebook.com, rivercityfilmfestival.
Thursday Night Swing will be at the Flying Monkey
Theatre from 6:30 – 10pm (every Thursday.) www.
flyingmonkeyarts.org, www.huntsvilleswing.com.
Duos and Solos Square Dance Club will be offering
lessons to couples and singles every Thursday at
6:30pm at the Tom Bevill Enrichment Center in
Rainsville, AL. www.duosandsolos.com.
Harmony Park Animal Safari will have self-guided
tours daily 10am until sundown. 877-726-4625. 431
Clouds Cove Rd. $8
A Sweet Obsession: Antique Chocolate Molds will
be on display now through March 1 at Burritt on the
Mountain. www.burrittonthemountain.com.
The Community Cinema: American Denial will be
from 7 - 9pm in the Film Co-op Studio 251 of the
Flying Monkey Arts. Free.
www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
The Huntsville Havoc vs. Columbus will be at 7:30pm
at the VBC Propst Arena.
The Madison Chamber of Commerce Monthly
Luncheon will be from 11:30 am - 1pm at the Best
Western Plus in Madison
February 19 – 22
The Whole Backstage presents Whodunit the
Musical by Ed Dixo at 7pm except Sunday it will be at
2pm. $18 for adults and $16 for students.
www.thewholebackstage.com.
Friday, February 20
Dance Rocket City Dance Party will be every Friday
from 8 – 10pm at 2614 Artie Street. Dance is $10;
lesson is $5/10. www.dancerocketcity.com.
The UAH Faculty Recital will be at Roberts Recital
Hall at 7:30pm. www.uah.edu.
Alright Bayou Comedy is a standup comedy show
every 1st, 3rd, and 5th Friday, at 8pm at Tim’s Cajun
Kitchen. $5.
THE VALLEY PLANET
The Lost and Found Farewell Tour Concert will be
at the All Saints Lutheran Church, 12100 Bailey Cove
Road at 7pm. Free. www.aslc-elca.org.
There will be a Teacher Professional Development
Workshop with Dori DeCamillis at the Huntsville
Museum of Art from 8am - 3pm.
www.hsvmuseum.org.
Maggie Meyer’s Irish Pub will have Trivia Night
every Thursday.www.maggiemeyersirishpub.com.
(See ad pg.11)
February 20 – 21
UAHuntsville Chargers Hockey vs. Ferris State will
be at 7pm at the VBC Propst Arena.
February 20 – 22
The Play, Aesop’s Foibles, will be at the VBC
Playhouse. Performance times are Friday and
Saturday at 7pm and Sunday at 1:30 and 5pm. http://
www.letthemagicbegin.org.
Lyrique Music Productions presents The Odd Couple
at the Renaissance Theatre. Performance times are
Friday at 7pm and Saturday and Sunday at 2pm and
7pm. www.renaissancetheatre.net.
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The Artist Market will be every Saturday from 12
– 4pm at the Flying Monkey. Free.
A New Leash on Life will have dogs and cats available
for adoption every Saturday from 12 – 4pm at Pet
Smart on Carl T. Jones. www.anewleash.org.
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Publisher Steve Gierhart of Ardent Writer Press will
be at the meeting of the National League of American
Pen Women- Huntsville Chapter. The meeting starts at
9:45 am at the Garden Room of First Christian Church.
www.facebook.com/NLAPWHUNTSVILLEBRANCH.
5
The 6th Annual Wounded Warrior 5K will be at
McGucken Park at 8am.
http://grissomjrotcwoundedwarrior5k.com.
$
ONLY
The Rocket City Weather Fest will be at the UAH
Shelby Center from 10am - 4pm. Free.
www.rocketcityweatherfest.com.
35810
The “Impact of Racial Stereotypes in America”
discussion group will meet at the Bessie K. Russell
Library at 2pm. Free. 256-859-9050.
and dogs welcome - $15) will be at the Huntsville
Botanical Gardens from 12 - 1pm. www.hsvbg.org.
The Spaces Sculpture Trail Walking Tour will be from
10am - noon at Alabama A&M University, park at the
Morrison Building. Free.
www.spacessculpturetrail.org.
Georgia Bottoms: A Comic Opera of the Modern
South presented by Huntsville Symphony Orchestra
will be from 7:30 – 9:30pm at the VBC Concert Hall.
www.hso.org.
Art 21 Screening & People’s Studio will be from 1 3:30pm in the Flying Monkey Arts. Free. Also offered
March 7th. www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
Mensa Kids Trek 27th Annual Young Inventors Day
will be at the Huntsville-Madison Library from 2 4pm. www.hmcpl.org.
There will be a 2015 Skate-a-thon from 10 - 11:30am
at Skate Odyssey. Dixie Derby Girls and RAD Juniors
will be hosting this event. All proceeds benefit
SNAP. $3.
The Mardi Gras Masquerade Ball will be at Joe
Wheeler State Park, 4403 McLean Drive, Rogersville,
AL. Packages available for Saturday night, $99
256-247-5461.
There will be a Planetarium Show every Saturday
night at 7:30pm at the Planetarium. www.vbas.org.
There will be a Maslenitsa Spring Festival at James
Clemens High School at 10am.
Can’t Afford Cable Presents: Clockwork Comedy at
8pm at Prototype Multimedia in Lowe Mill.
www.lowemill.net.
There will be a Contra Dance in the gym of Faith
Presbyterian Church with live music by David Coe &
friends and calling by Matt Hawkins. 7:30 - 10:30pm.
Lessons begin at 7pm. $8 and $6 for students. 256837-0656, http://www.secontra.com.
Picking and Grinning will be every Saturday from 6
– 9pm at the New Hope Senior Center on Church
Street. 256- 723-2208.
The Downtown Dish historical walking tour
through the streets and neighborhoods of
downtown Huntsville will be every Saturday.
www.huntsvillefoodtours.com.
The Huntsville Botanical Gardens will have the
exhibit William Thomas now through February 28th.
www.hsvbg.org.
HBCU College Fair will be at Union Chapel MBC
Family Life Center, 315 Winchester Road, from 10am
- 1pm. www.huntsvilleurbannetwork.com.
In celebration of the new novel The Hotel Monte Sano
by Charles Farley, The Land Trust of North Alabama
will have the first of three interpretive hikes. Hike 1The Hotel Loop meets at the Little Green Store; hike is
from 1- 2pm. landtrustnal.org.
Drop-In and Create! A Golden Day of Hatmaking
will be at the Huntsville Museum of Art from 11am
- 1pm. Free. www.hsvmuseum.org.
The Race for Top Dog begins at 8am (humans only
- $20) and 1-mile Doggie Dash Fun Run (humans
#021915031115
Free
Rabies Shot
with surgery
256-830-8459
Burritt on the Mountain will have a Free Day with no
admission charge from 10am - 4pm.
www.burrittonthemountain.com.
The UAH Music Department and the Alabama Chapter
of the Percussive Arts Society presents A Day of
Percussion from 9am - 5pm in Roberts Recital Hall.
www.uah.edu.
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There will be a Kids Art Class from 1 - 2pm in Denise
Onwere’s Studio 314 of Lowe Mill. $75 Admission. It
will be offered every Saturday through March 15th.
www.lowemill.net.
Sunday, February 22
The Film Co-op Monthly Workshop will meet from
2 - 4pm in the Film Co-op Studio 251 of the Flying
Monkey Theatre from 2 - 4pm. Free.
www.flyingmonkeyart.org.
All-Stars “House Band” from 4 - 7pm at 2020 Country
Club Avenue in Huntsville. $5. www.tvjs.com, 256604-8172.
Monday, February 23
There will be a Monday Night Women’s Ride (every
Monday) at 5:30pm. Meet at the MSSP Biker’s Parking
Lot. 256-585-0905.
Your Yoga with Casey Beginner’s class will be in
studio # 258 at Lowe Mill. Fee. It will be every Monday
from 6 - 7pm. casey@youryogahuntsville.com.
www.lowemill.net.
Maggie Meyer’s will have Comedy Open Mic Night,
hosted by Matthew Tate every Monday at 8pm.
www.maggiemeyersirishpub.com. (See ad pg.11)
Live Trivia will be every Monday at Straight to Ale
Brewery. www.straighttoale.com.
The Huntsville Photographic Society Competition,
“America the Beautiful” will be at the HuntsvilleMadison Library from 7 - 8:50pm. www.hsvbg.org.
An Evening with Gordon Lightfoot will be at the VBC
Concert Hall at 8pm.
Tuesday, February 24
Zumba Fitness will be every Tuesday from 5 – 6pm
in the Athens State University Sandridge Student
Center. Fee. 256- 749-5485.
Games Night with Pinball Tournament will be every
Tuesday from 6 - 9:30pm at Straight to Ale Brewery.
www.straighttoale.com.
The HAM Radio Club meets every Sunday from 2 4pm at First Baptist Church (Governor’s Drive) in the
Library. www.fbchsv.org.
The Student Senior Recital with Adam O’Boyle,
piano will be at 7:30pm at Roberts Recital Hall.
www.uah.edu.
There will be a Lecture: U.S. Army Units Composed
Solely of Black Soldiers, at the Huntsville -Madison
Library. Free. www.hmcpl.org.
The U.S. Space & Rocket Center will have Senior
Appreciation Series every Tuesday for guests ages
55 and up through February. Seniors get a discounted
museum admission price of $11. 256- 721-7140.
Learn how to get your garden ready for spring on
from 2 - 4pm at the Huntsville-Madison Library.
Free. www.hmcpl.org, 256-532-2362.
Steve Waldrip will be in concert at the Cowboy
Church of Marshall County, 100 Carroll Street in
Albertville at 10am. http://stevewaldrip.org,
256-572-6055.
Alabama A&M University WJAB 90.9, Tennessee Valley
Jazz Society, Focus Live Martini Bar & Grill present
Talking All That Jazz with The Tennessee Valley Jazz
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
The Voices of Hope will present a program of civil
rights songs and African-American spirituals at 6pm
in the Atrium of the downtown Huntsville-Madison
Library. Free. 256-532-5975, www. hmcpl.org.
Wednesday, February 25
Every Wednesday there will be a Bike Ride at 5:30pm
starting at Bicycles Etc. www.bicyclesetc.us.
events cont. on pg. 14
13
events cont. from pg. 13
The Beginners Melt and Pour Soap Class will be
from 6 - 8pm at the T - n- T Treasures Studio 266 of
the Flying Monkey Arts. $42 Admission. It will also
be offered on March 4th, March 7th and 14th. 412-3786896, www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
For Michael – The Music of Michael Jackson
presented by Huntsville Symphony Orchestra will
be from 7:30 – 9:30pm at the VBC Concert Hall.
www.hso.org.
Comedy Open Mic Night will be every Wednesday at
Copper Top in Huntsville. 256 -536-1150.
The Huntsville Museum of Art will have the exhibit,
Dori DeCamillis opening now through June 14th.
www.hsvmuseum.org.
The UAH Spring 10K Road Race will be at 2pm at the
UAHuntsville Fitness Center
301 Sparkman Drive.
Learn about African-American inventors through
hands-on activities, crafts, and more at Inventor
Celebration Stations in the Youth Services
Department of the downtown Huntsville-Madison
Library from 2:30 - 4:30pm. www.hmcpl.org,
256-532-5982.
The Huntsville-Madison County Public Library
presents “Ready Player One” by Ernest Cline as the
featured book for Madison County Reads 2015.
Throughout March, all 12 library branches will
celebrate the ’80s with games, movies, lectures, and
more.www.hmcpl.org.
The UAH Art & Art History and Humanities Center
presentation “Southern Sounds: Recontextualization
of Typography, Music and Cultural History in the
Creative Process” will be at UAH Wilson Hall Theatre
(first floor) at 7pm. Free. www.uah.edu.
The Huntsville Museum of Art will have a Gallery
Walk with Encounters Artist Dori DeCamillis at 2pm
with a reception following. www.hsvmuseum.org.
The Entrepreneur Forum- Business Startups and
Growing Small Businesses will be from 5 - 7pm
upstairs at Amendment XXI. Register in advance.
https://hsvchamber.chambermaster.com.
The Rocket City Black Rodeo: Live and ‘N Color will
be at the Alabama A&M Agribition Center at 8pm.
256-859-5896.
Friday, February 27
The Paranormal Study Center will have a presentation
by Gene Skaggs, “Using Psych-K for Self-healing”. It
will be at Hilton Garden Inn, Governor’s House Drive
from 6:30 - 9:00pm. $10.
www.parapsychologystudygroup.com.
There will be an Advance Technique Soap Making
from 6 - 8:30pm in the T-nT Treasures Studio 261 of
the Flying Monkey Arts. $15. Also offered March 6th.
The Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Inc. Psi Alpha Zeta Chapter
presents a “Natural Hair Workshop: Part 3” feat stylist
Tawanna Hester from “Styles by Tawanna” will be at
the Reserves Clubhouse, 116 Natures Way from 3 5pm. $20. psialphzeta@gmail.com.
The Film Co-op Monthly Workshop will be from
2 - 4pm in the Film Co-op Studio 251 of the Flying
Monkey Arts. Free. www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
Tuesday, March 3
There will be live trivia at Straight to Ale at 7pm.
www.straighttoale.com.
Homegrown Huntsville Twosday (Demo + Tasting)
will be at Humphrey’s Bar and Grill from 6 - 8pm.
256-850-3231.
The Nature Explorers’ will be at Hays Nature
Preserve from 2 – 3pm. Free.
www.natureexplore.org.
Wednesday, March 4
The Huntsville Museum of Art will have a GALA
Luncheon with featured artist, Dean L. Mitchell at
11:30am. www.hsvmuseum.org.
The 4th Annual Medi Gras Bash will be at the
Jackson Center from 6 - 10pm.
http://huntsvillehospitalfoundation.org.
Thursday, March 5
The Huntsville Museum of Art will have a GALA
Black Tie Dinner and Live Auction will be at 6pm.
www.hsvmuseum.org.
The Black History Storytelling Time for Kids with
guest presenter Tierney Malone will be from 4 - 5pm
at Lowe Mill. Free. www.uah.edu, www.lowemill.net.
TEDx Salon: Space Exploration viewing/discussions
of pre-recorded TED talks will be at 7pm at Straight to
Ale. www.straighttoale.com.
February 27 -28
The UAH Chargers vs. Alaska Hockey Game will be
at the VBC Propst Arena from 7 - 9:15pm.
www.uahchargers.com.
March 5 - 7
The Polk Sallet Follies Annual Dinner Show will be
at the Limestone County Council on Aging Senior
Center, 912 West Pryor Street in Athens. Reservations
$35. www.pokesalletfollies.org
The Rocket City Black Rodeo will be at the Alabama
A&M Agribition Center, 4925 Moores Mill Road at
7:30pm. Doors open at 6pm.
There will be a family-friendly African Sunset Plains
Art Class at 11am at the Bessie K. Russell Branch of
the Huntsville-Madison Library. Free. 256-859-9050,
www.hmcpl.org.
The Alabama Fashion Alliance announces Lifetime’s
Project Runway’s Sandhya Garg as headlining designer
for its 5th Fashion Week Alabama. All Fashion Week
events will take place at the DesignLab, located on
the second floor of the historic Lincoln Mills, 1300
Meridian Street. www.afa.ticketleap.com.
February 27 – March 1
The Play, Aesop’s Foibles, will be at the VBC
Playhouse on Friday and Saturday at 7pm and
Sunday at 1:30 and 5pm.
http://www.letthemagicbegin.org.
Friday, March 6
The 17th Annual UCP “An Irish Evening” will be at
The Depot Roundhouse. United Cerebral Palsy of
Huntsville and the Tennessee Valley will have a night
of Irish-inspired fun from 6 - 10pm. $25.
ucphuntsville.org.
There will be a Focus on Nature Photography
Workshop at Joe Wheeler State Park. The
photographer’s weekend will have field trips and
seminars. Packages start at $249.00 and include room
for Friday and Saturday nights. 256-247-5461.
The American Association of University Women
Huntsville Branch hosts its annual Breaking Through
Barriers Luncheon from 11:30am - 1pm, at the
Jackson Conference Center. $45
http://huntsville-al.aauw.net.
The Hospice of Limestone County Chili Challenge
and Silent Auction will be at Athens High School.
256-232-5017.
Jim Parker’s Songwriters Series will be at the VBC
Playhouse at 6:30pm. jimparkermusic.com.
The Paper Chase Race will be at Constitution Village
from 8 - 10am. www.free-2-teach.org.
There will be a Black History Emphasis with Special
Guest: Sybrina Fulton (mother of Trayvon Martin) and
the Central State (Ohio) University Choir at Oakwood
University Church. www.oucsda.org.
The 20th Annual Storytelling Festival: “Tell Me A
Story” will be at Trinity United Methodist Church at
10am, 2pm, and 7pm. $15 256-883-3200.
That Game Show Thing comedy quiz show will be at
8pm at Prototype Studios at Lowe Mill. $8.
www.lowemill.net.
#021915031115
Sunday, March 1
The Huntsville Museum of Art will have a docent-led
tour of Grandma Moses: Visions of America from 1
- 1:45pm. www.hsvmuseum.org.
The Beloved Books and Gallery Studio 257 will have
From Mess to Mindfulness: Beginning Journaling
from 6:30 - 8pm. $120. Also be offered March 4th.
www.lowemill.net.
Printmaking in the Classroom will be from 6 - 8pm
at the Green Pea Press Studio 122 of Lowe Mill. $40.
www.lowemill.net.
The Spring into Summer Activities Fair will be at the
Davidson Center for Space Exploration from 10am 3pm. www.rocketcenter.com.
West Coast Swing in the Rocket City presented by
Rocket Westies will be at Lowe Mill – Flying Monkey
Arts Theater every Tuesday at 7pm. $10.
www.lowemill.net.
The Singles & Doubles Square Dance Club will meet
each Wednesday night at Berachah Gym located
at 3011 Sparkman Drive from 6 – 8:45pm. 256-8815720.
14
The Family Egg Drop Challenge will be at Sci-Quest
Hands-On-Science Center from 10am - 4pm.
www.sciquest.org.
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
March 6 – 7
The Monster Jam Truck Show will be in the VBC
Arena at 7:30pm Friday and 2pm and 7:30pm
Saturday. Tickets start at $27. www.ticketmaster.com,
800-745-3000. (See ad pg.10)
March 6 - 8
Tarzan the Stage Musical will be at Grissom High
School Auditorium at 7:30pm and on Sundays at
2pm. www.grissomtheatre.org.
The Broadway Theatre League presents Peter and the
Star Catcher, A Grownup’s Prequel to Peter Pan, will
be at the VBC Concert Hall at 8pm. Tickets start at
$17. www.broadwaytheatreleague.org.
events cont. on pg. 16
THE VALLEY PLANET
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
February 19 - March 11
© Copyright 2015 Rob Brezsny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): There are many different facets to your intelligence, and each matures at a different rate. So for example, your ability to think symbolically may evolve more slowly
than your ability to think abstractly. Your wisdom
about why humans act the way they do may ripen more rapidly than your insight into your own
emotions. In the coming weeks, I expect one particular aspect of your intelligence to be undergoing a growth spurt: your knowledge of what your
body needs and how to give it what it needs.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): What is the proper
blend for you these days? Is it something like
51 percent pleasure and 49 percent business? Or
would you be wiser to shoot for 49 percent pleasure and 51 percent business? I will leave that
decision up to you, Taurus. Whichever way you
go, I suggest that you try to interweave business
and pleasure as often as possible. You are in one
of those action-packed phases when fun dovetails
really well with ambition. I’m guessing that you
can make productive connections at parties. I’m
betting that you can spice up your social life by
taking advantage of what comes to you through
your work.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In 1900, the world’s
most renowned mathematicians met at a conference in Paris. There the German whiz David
Hilbert introduced his master list of 23 unsolved
mathematical problems. At the time, no one had
done such an exhaustive inventory. His well-defined challenge set the agenda for math research
throughout the 20th century. Today he’s regarded
as an influential visionary. I’d love to see you
come up with a list of your own top unsolved
problems, Gemini. You now have extra insight
about the catalytic projects you will be smart to
work on and play with during the coming years.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Spanipelagic” is
an adjective scientists use to describe creatures
that typically hang out in deep water but float
up to the surface on rare occasions. The term is
not a perfect metaphorical fit for you, since you
come up for air more often than that. But you do
go through phases when you’re inclined to linger
for a long time in the abyss, enjoying the dark
mysteries and fathomless emotions. According to
my reading of the astrological omens, that’s what
you’ve been doing lately. Any day now, however,
I expect you’ll be rising up from the Great Down
Below and headed topside for an extended stay.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): When faced with a big
decision, you might say you want to “sleep on it.”
In other words, you postpone your final determination until you gather more information and ripen your understanding of the pressing issues. And
that could indeed involve getting a good night’s
sleep. What happens in your dreams may reveal
nuances you can’t pry loose with your waking
consciousness alone. And even if you don’t recall
your dreams, your sleeping mind is busy processing and reworking the possibilities. I recommend
that you make liberal use of the “sleep on it” approach in the coming weeks, Leo. Revel in the
wisdom that wells up in you as you’re lying down
in the dark.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 1962, Edward Albee published his play Who’s Afraid of Virginia
Woolf? It won numerous awards and is still performed by modern theater groups. Albee says the
title came to him as he was having a beer at a
bar in New York City. When he went to the restroom, he spied the words “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” scrawled in soap on the mirror. I
urge you to be alert for that kind of inspiration
in the coming days, Virgo: unexpected, provocative, and out of context. You never know when
and where you may be furnished with clues about
the next plot twist of your life story.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Edward III, a medieval English king, had a favorite poet: Geoffrey
Chaucer. In 1374, the king promised Chaucer a
big gift in appreciation for his talents: a gallon
of wine every day for the rest of his life. That’s
THE VALLEY PLANET
not the endowment I would have wanted if I had
been Chaucer. I’d never get any work done if I
were quaffing 16 glasses of wine every 24 hours.
Couldn’t I instead be provided with a regular
stipend? Keep this story in mind, Libra, as you
contemplate the benefits or rewards that might
become available to you. Ask for what you really
need, not necessarily what the giver initially offers.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): To make the cocktail known as Sex on the Beach, you mix together
cranberry juice, orange juice, pineapple juice,
peach schnapps, and vodka. There is also an alternative “mocktail” called Safe Sex on the Beach.
It has the same fruit juices, but no alcohol. Given
the likelihood that your inner teenager will be
playing an important role in your upcoming adventures, Scorpio, I recommend that you favor
the Safe-Sex-on-the-Beach metaphor rather than
the Sex-on-the-Beach approach. At least temporarily, it’s best to show a bit of protective restraint
toward the wild and sometimes erratic juvenile
energy that’s pushing to be expressed.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In Herman
Melville’s short story “Bartleby, the Scrivener,” a
lawyer hires a man named Bartleby to work in his
office. At first Bartleby is a model employee, carrying out his assignments with dogged skill. But
one day everything begins to change. Whenever
his boss instructs him to do a specific task, Bartleby says, “I would prefer not to.” As the days go
by, he does less and less, until finally he stops altogether. I’d like to propose, Sagittarius, that you
take inspiration from his slowdown. Haven’t you
done enough for now? Haven’t you been exemplary in your commitment to the daily struggle?
Don’t you deserve a break in the action so you
can recharge your psychospiritual batteries? I say
yes. Maybe you will consider making this your
battle cry: “I would prefer not to.”
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “All life is an
experiment. The more experiments you make the
better.” That’s what American philosopher Ralph
Waldo Emerson advised. Even if you’re not naturally inclined to see the potential wisdom of that
approach, I invite you to play around with it for
the next three weeks. You don’t need to do it forever. It doesn’t have to become a permanent fixture in your philosophy. Just for now, experiment
with the possibility that trying lots of experiments
will lead you not just to new truths, but to new
truths that are fun, interesting, and useful.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The art of the
French Aquarian painter Armand Guillaumin
(1841-1927) appears in prestigious museums. He
isn’t as famous as his fellow Impressionists Paul
Cézanne and Camille Pissarro, but he wielded a
big influence on them both. His career developed
slowly because he had to work a day job to earn a
living. When he was 50 years old, he won a wad
of free money in the national lottery, and thereafter devoted himself full-time to painting. I’m not
saying you will enjoy a windfall like that anytime
soon, Aquarius, but such an event is possible. At
the very least, your income could rise. Your odds
of experiencing financial luck will increase to the
degree that you work to improve the best gifts you
have to offer your fellow humans.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “It isn’t normal to
know what we want,” said pioneering psychologist Abraham Maslow. “It is a rare and difficult
psychological achievement.” That’s the bad news,
Pisces. The good news is that you may be on the
verge of rendering that theory irrelevant. In the
coming weeks, you will be better primed to discover what you really want than you have been
in a long time. I suggest you do a ritual in which
you vow to unmask this treasured secret. Write a
formal statement in which you declare your intention to achieve full understanding of the reasons
you are alive on this planet.
On The Lam 4
by Shawn Bailey
S
o after weeks of searing heat inside my canvas oven, I decide to find a hotel for a week.
I’ll treat myself and enjoy a real bed and air
conditioning.
The first hotel I go to is a known chain, just off the
interstate. It takes 45 minutes to check in because
there are people in front of me and they’re slow.
Then he takes me to the room and I notice one small
problem. The floor is moving. Since I haven’t been
drinking, this disturbs me. It’s ants. And there’s
something on the bed covers we can’t quite classify.
Was it once alive? Not sure. So he apologizes and
retrieves another key. The next room has hairs on
the pillow and again, some kind of miniature husks
on the cover. Abandoned insect armor? I ask for my
money back and eventually get it. Two hours of my
life gone.
At another hotel, I ask to see the room before I pay.
When we enter the room, I lift the corner of the bed
and then pull a pillow back. The young girl panics
and tells me I can’t do that. I say, do what? Pull the
covers back? She says yes. I say why? She says because the cleaning crew has already left and there’s
no one to fix the beds back. I look over at the pillow
that I have turned over and turn it back over, settling the chaos I have just caused. I notice again that
there is hair on the pillow. A pattern is developing.
The next hotel is a weekly one. The initial price doesn’t sound too exorbitant, but it turns out there’s a
fee for everything. Internet, extra. Bath towels, extra. The ability to flush one’s toilet, extra. The price
is soon over the $300 mark.
After a myriad of failed attempts, I finally find a hotel in a good location for a decent price. When I
look at the room, it’s got a 42″ TV. Nice. I finally hand over my money. Then they immediately give me
another room. The one in the back corner. Down the short, dark rape corridor. The bathroom sink has no
counter. No problem. I can juggle. The curtains (and the window faces the road) don’t come together. I
have to use my chip clips to seal them.
But I have an air conditioner. I am cool for the night. Maybe too cool. In my exuberance at being able
to play God with my climate, I turned the control too far and wake up an icicle. From this point, I will
gradually decline in health over the next 3 weeks until I am forced to go the doctor. Also, during the
night, I wake up and there’s a heavy smell of old people in my room. Creepy.
A few weeks later, I come back and enter the room to find a small roach on the cover. I kill it and think
nothing of it, because this creepy corner room is not sealed as well as the other rooms, and I have seen
at least one type of insect every night. No roaches, though. I’m on my way to work the next day when
I see these huge pimple/bite marks on my forearm. Three raised whiteheads all together. I really don’t
know what they are. That night I ask the owner for new sheets. He looks at me like I’m crazy. I show
him the marks on my arm. He says they’re not going to change them, but I can bring the sheets and
he’ll wash them and give them back to me. I say, “You don’t have sheets you can just hand me when
I give you mine?” Because I have an aversion to these sheets, and at this point in time, I can tell this
cheapskate is probably going to throw them in a dryer for 3 minutes and hand them back to me. He
stares again like I’m the crazy one and shakes his head. Okay, he seems to be saying, if you want to
make sense, let’s just do it then. So I bring my sheets and blanket to him. As I’m handing it over, he
stops again and just stares at me. I’m the insane one again. What’s wrong with the blanket, he says. To
be clear, he is asking me why I have decided to return the blanket and not just the sheets. He will now
have to wash an extra piece of linen. I am too dumbfounded to answer at first. Then I explain again
about the bug and show him my arm. He shakes his head again. The logic is too much for him.
Yet a few weeks later, this hotel being the only one in the city without excess hair and bugs, I return for
more punishment. Asking for a few small hand-rags is met with wide eyes and disapproval. A few? He
says. They cost money to wash, he says. He will give me two, he says. I want to tell him that technically
two rags are only one short of a few rags, but I hold back. Later, I begin to ask his wife something and
notice she’s shaking her head almost, but not quite, imperceptibly back and forth in the ‘No’ direction.
I haven’t even asked my question yet, but the answer is already no, her brow wrinkled in distrust and
proactive irritation.
I strike up a conversation with the owner/husband later and find out that there was once a guy who was
working down here like me. He lived in the hotel for some time. A few years. More than two. And then
he had medical problems and died. I think of the smell in my room when I awoke the other night. Now
it takes me a little longer to go to sleep in that room.
My goal: To find a hotel not run by crazy people and infested with insects and ghosts. Do they exist?
Homework: Where in your life do you push harder than is healthy? Where do you not push hard
enough? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.
#021915031115
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
15
Sunday, March 8
The Huntsville Museum of Art will have Art Comes
to Life with Randolph School Theatre at 2pm. www.
hsvmuseum.org.
The Huntsville-Madison County Historical Society
will meet at 2 pm, at the Huntsville-Madison Library
Free. 256- 509-3940.
The Spelman Jazz Ensemble Concert, sponsored by
the Huntsville Alumnae Chapter of National Alumnae
Association of Spelman College, will be at the Marriott
Hotel at 5pm.
www.huntsvilleurbannetwork.com.
Monday, March 9
The Elk River Canoe and Kayak Trail Cleanup Buck
Island Boat Ramp will be today. 256-233-8728,
KALBCares@gmail.com.
Tuesday, March 10
The ABC’s of Domestic Violence Class will be at
the Center for Lifelong Learning 121 South Marion
Street, Athens. $30. 256-233-8185, www.myathens.
net/web/abcs-domestic-violence.
Paul’s Letters to the Philippians Class will be at the
Center for Lifelong Learning Conference Room, 121
South Marion Street, Athens from 6:30 - 8pm. $10.
athens.edu/cll/personal-interest.
There will be a Lunch ‘n’ Learn Workshop on
Vegetables: “Time to Start a Vegetable Garden,
Seeds, and Buying Plants,” at Dublin Park from
11:30am - 12:30pm. Free. www.mginfo.org.
Wednesday, March 11
The Business of Art will be from 12:30 - 1:30pm in
Classroom 2008 of Lowe Mill., $20.
www.lowemill.net.
Alabama Arts Advocacy Day! Show Alabama’s policy
makers that the arts matter to the citizens of the state,
and to elicit active support for arts funding across the
state at Embassy Suites in Montgomery.
www.alaae.org.
Kellye McCormick, Owner
March 11 - 22
UAH Theatre presents “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,”
in Chan Auditorium on the UAH Campus. $15. 256824-6871, www.edu/theatre.
Master Esthetician
Licensed Barber
Thursday, March 12
The TN Valley Civil War Round Table will have Dr.
Glenn LaFantasie of Western Kentucky University,
“Gettysburg Requiem: The Life and Lost Causes of
Confederate Colonel William. Oates”, at 6:30pm at the
Elks Lodge, 725 Franklin St, Huntsville.
Free. www.tvcwrt.com.
Melissa Steelman
Master Hair Design Color Specialist
The North Alabama NSBE Professionals Scholarship
Program will be at Lockhead Martin at 6pm. www.
huntsvilleurbannetwork.com.
Lesley Williams
Color Specialist, Hair Stylist
*20% First Visit with Lesley
March 12 – 14
The Sparkman Drama presents Cinderella at the VBC
Playhouse. $10 - $20. www.sparkmandrama.com.
March 12 - 15
Tarzan the Stage Musical will be at Grissom High
School Auditorium at 7:30pm and on Sundays at 2pm.
www.grissomtheatre.org.
March 13 - 15
How NOT to Commit a Murder will be at the Historic
Lowry House at 7:30pm. $10. 256-489-9200.
The Rocket City Latin Fest will be at the University
of Alabama in Huntsville.
www.therocketcitylatinfestival.com.
Friday, March 13
DIY Home Cleaning Products will be in the T-nT
Treasures Studio 261 of the Flying Monkey from 6 7:30pm. 412-378-6896, www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
There will be a concert: Hermitage Piano Trio at
Trinity United Methodist Church at 7:30pm. 256489-7415.
Saturday, March 14
The 38th Annual Ellen McAnelly Memorial St.
Patrick’s Day Parade will be in Downtown Huntsville
at 11:30 am. www.huntsvillestpatricksday.com.
EarlyWorks Children’s Museum will have a Book
Swap the first Saturday of every month in the lobby
from 10 am- 2pm. For every two books you bring you
get to pick out and take one new book home. Free.
www.earlyworks.com.
The Great Cross Country Race Family Fun Day & 5K
will be at Fantasy Playhouse from 7:30pm - noon.
www.letthemagicbegin.org.
The Ardmore Shamrock Shuffle Race 5K Run and
1 Mile Fun Run/ Walk will be at the First Baptist
Church in Ardmore.
www.ardmoreshamrockshuffle.com.
There will be a St. Patrick’s Day Party with live music
by Slip Jig and Bourbon & Shamrocks, food trucks
and performances by local Irish dancers, season beer
release at Straight to Ale. www.straighttoale.com.
The Athens Home and Garden Show will be at the
Greater Limestone County Chamber of Commerce at
the Limestone County Event Center on 114 West
Pryor Street in Athens. 256-232-2600.
International Drone Day will be at the Rocket City
RC Airfield on Leeman Ferry Road from 9am - 5pm.
Free. 256- 541-4254.
The Strauss Connection will be at the VBC Concert
Hall at 7:30pm. 256-539-4818.
The Huntsville Bead Society will meet the 2nd
Saturday of the month at the Crestwood Women’s
Center on 185 Chateau Drive at 10am. facebookhuntsville bead society.
The Huntsville Symphony Orchestra will have Opus
Tadpole at 10:15am at the VBC Concert Hall. Free.
www.hso.org.
Sunday, March 15
The Huntsville Museum of Art will have the opening
of YAM 2015: Exhibition for Youth Art Month.www.
hsvmuseum.org.
THE END!
Unleash Your Inner Awesomeness
H
ave you ever had an interest in video games and/or comic books?
Did you ever have a character that you felt connected with?
Greg Stargell is currently in the process of developing a comic book/video game series with a main
hero that he has developed called Da Spokesman. The story is divided into four segments including
Minor League, Major League, International League, and Galactic League. With each segment, Da
Spokesman progresses as he grows into the understanding of his life transitions, his powers, and most
importantly himself.
events cont. from pg. 16
The Junior League American Girl Fashion Show will
be at the VBC East Hall.
https://www.jlhuntsville.com.
The Building Home & Remodeling Show will be
at the VBC Friday 1 - 8pm, Saturday 9am - 7pm and
Sunday 11am - 5pm.
www.buildinghomeandremodelingshow.com.
Club Avenue in Huntsville. $5. www.tvjs.com, 256604-8172.
There will be a Kite Festival at John Hunt Park and
Jaycees Building from 10am - 3pm. Free. 256-5085198.
Can’t Afford Cable Presents: Clockwork Comedy at
8pm at Prototype Multimedia in Lowe Mill. www.
lowemill.net.
Sunday, March 7
The DIY Mineral Make-up Class will be from 10am
- 12:30pm in T-n-T Treasures Studio 261 of the Flying
Monkey Arts. $65. www.flyingmonkeyarts.org.
The Learn to Read Corporate Spelling Bee will be at
10am in the Athens High School Cafeteria. Team fee is
$300 and benefits Learn to Read programs. Spectators
Free. 256-230-3050.
LIT (Light + Innovation + Technology) will be at the
Downtown Huntsville Square, from 7 - 10pm.
www.artshuntsville.org/news/lit-li
There will be a Contra Dance in the gym of Faith
Presbyterian Church with live music by Turnip
the Beet and calling by Jane Ewing. 7:30 - 10:30pm.
Lessons begin at 7pm. $8 and $6 for students. 256837-0656, http://www.secontra.com.
The Huntsville Museum GALA Silent Auction and
Cocktail Party will be Friday night at 7pm.
www.hsvmuseum.org.
Alabama A&M University WJAB 90.9, Tennessee Valley
Jazz Society, Focus Live Martini Bar & Grill present
Talking All That Jazz with The Tennessee Valley Jazz
All-Stars “House Band” from 4 - 7pm at 2020 Country
16
Hooping with Chrisha will be from 1 - 3:30pm in the
Flying Monkey Theatre. $15.
There will be a Read-A-Thon from 10am - 5pm at the
Monrovia Branch Library. 256-489-3392,
www.hmcpl.org.
#021915031115
Greg said, “I have a professional background, but in this venture I wanted to do something more
than just audios, videos, and seminars. As a fan of comic books and video games, I have developed
Da Spokesman And The Awesomeness League as an avenue to reach a familiar audience, to provide
inspiration, to provide entertainment, and to help people unleash their inner awesomeness at the same
time. I absolutely believe that through this series we have achieved these goals and so much more.
I also believe the audience would be able to relate to one or more of the characters as the storyline
progresses.”
Da Spokesman And The Awesomeness League is currently in development of the third installment of
the game, International League. The first two games, Minor League and Major League, are now available to the public.
When asked what are some future plans for Da Spokesman And The Awesomeness League, Greg said,
“I plan on starting a crowd funding campaign to raise money for the expansion into the mobile gaming
arena and depending on how much is raised, may go into the animation arena as well.”
Greg is an active person in the Huntsville community. He is an alumnus of Alabama A&M University
where he acquired his Bachelors and PhD in Physics. He also holds a Masters Degree in Mechanical
Engineering from Iowa State University. In his spare time, Greg enjoys Salsa Dancing and doing comedic performances under the stage name, Greg “Da Spokesman” Stargell.
Check out Da Spokesman And The Awesomeness League and unleash your inner awesomeness!
For more information, go to http://awesomenessleague.com/daspokesman.
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
THE VALLEY PLANET
Best Bartender in the Tennessee
Valley? Diamond’s Sportsbar’s
Jennifer Peters!
I
n case you didn’t know, Dear Reader…our Best of the Valley Readers’ Poll results were announced in the last issue!
The votes were tallied and…you voted Jennifer Peters as the
Best Bartender in the Valley! So…we thought we would ask her
a few things for those of you who do not know her, yet!
Jennifer: Good thing I have a smartphone, in
this fast changing industry every bartender gets
stumped at some point or another.
cial thank you to all that voted for me! It
is a great honor and privilege to be voted
#1 bartender in The Valley Planet’s BOTV!
VP: What is your favorite drink? And, have you
concocted your own special drink (s)?
Jennifer: There are several but to keep it rated
PG - banana split. That is one of our “in house”
concoctions… if you want to know what it is come
see me and find out!
VP: Anything else you would like to say?
Jennifer: Thank you Huntsville! Thank you Valley Planet! And thank you Diamonds!! Xoxo, Jen
Jen
VP: What was your “best day ever” as a bartender?
Jennifer: My customers, my boss, and my fellow
employees pulled of a SURPRISE birthday party
for me! I can’t believe no one let the cat out of the
bag. What an AWESOME day!
VP: How long have you tended bar? And where all have you
been a bartender?
Jennifer: I have bartended for 15 years all of which have been
at Diamonds!
VP: When do you bartend?
Jennifer: You can catch me at Diamonds Tuesday
thru Friday and other special occasions.
VP: What is your favorite thing about your job?
Jennifer: I love my job for many reasons but the first two that
come to mind are: a great clientele and co-workers that are
awesome to work with. Diamonds is like one big family!
VP: Can you do any bartender “tricks” like you see on TV and in the movies?
Jennifer: I do not do any “flair” bartending, I save that for the nighttime bartenders!
VP: Has a customer ever stumped you on a drink that you didn’t know how to make? If so, what was
it?
VP: What do you do in your off time?
Jennifer: What is off time...? When I am not busy
at work I am busy at home.
Diamond’s Sportsbar & Grill racked up in this
year’s Poll:
1st Best Bartender: Jennifer Peters
1st Best Place for a Shot
1st Best Place to Shoot Pool
2nd Best Bar Overall
3rd Best Place to Pig Out
3rd Best Late-Nite Grub
3rd Best Sunday Brunch
Congratulations Jen Jen & Everyone at Diamond’s! Always a pleasure to see a local small
business shine!
VP: What would you like to say to the people who
voted you as number 1?
Jennifer: I would like to give a very spe-
NewLit – Good New Stuff To Read
“T
aming The Beast” (The Untold
Story Of Mike Tyson) by Rory Hollaway (with Eric Wilson)
W
e must pay attention to the quantum
physics of words.
We live in a galaxy of words. Some we do not
and cannot ever comprehend, anymore than we
can fully comprehend a distant nebula.
At a department store tonight, I said the strangest
words: “I can’t find my lamp.” I had accidentally left the pewter lamp base in a bag at the cash
register.
Those words I uttered, receipt in hand, in quiet
desperation that I would not find my lamp, or that
someone had accidentally picked up the deserted
bag with their own.
When I was a child, I did not know I would ever
say, “I can’t find my lamp.” Who the heck would
“lose” a lamp? Of course, I never even asked that
question, which would have been a completely
impossible and absurd thing for me to say--until
tonight.
The words I said tonight--”I can’t find my lamp”-chipped away even more of my childhood innocence that I lost long ago.
The shocking revelation of “I can’t find lamp” is
that I never even dreamed of saying such a thing.
Therefore, it seems we are surrounded by thousands upon thousands of expressions that we DO
NOT KNOW we will ever say. This knowledge
has made the world a more unstable, volatile, but
fascinating, place to be.
Who knows what I might say in the future? “I
can’t find my glass eye.” “I love you.” “I think
the lost murder weapon is sticking in my back.”
“Here comes the meteor!” “Children no longer
starve.” “Please repair the dent in my Porsche.”
I regret that I destroyed a “painting” of mine
in which I had made an effort to portray a tree
house that my father had supposedly built me at
the seashore. I had painted the “semblance of a
boat”- secured to the side of the tree house by a
“semblance of a boatlift.”
wood when she pointed to the boat and asked in
her most hysterically audacious “faux southern
drawl”:
Miss Bonnie, is that the Holy Bassinette in which
you will ascend?
Beth and I still laugh over the memory of the Holy
Bassinette. Only I could have painted a boat that
resembled a bassinette. Especially a holy one!
More importantly, only Beth Norwood could have
conceived of such an idea, such words, which
took me on a quantum leap of the imagination.
“I can’t find my lamp” and “the Holy Bassinette”
revealed that the future is infinite in possibilities,
of which I cannot even dream. This learning is
either positive or negative, depending upon which
nebula I might someday visit and say something
I cannot imagine saying now, such as “I can’t
breathe very well for all the stardust whirling in
this nebula.”
And I will vaguely remember the first time I ever
said, “I can’t find my lamp”- and was astounded.
But not nearly as much as I would be upon finding
myself in a nebula of which I had never dreamed,
and floating along in a “Holy Bassinette.”
We must imagine words we might want to say
someday - to create a vision of the future expansion of our inner selves, such as “I accept myself,” “I accept others,” and “I am not afraid.” For
some of us, those could be the greatest quantum
leaps of all.
As a footnote, I don’t expect to travel through a
nebula, except in my imagination, but what an
amazing journey that would be. Because I am
now spoiled for the idea of “the Holy Bassinette,”
that, too, would be a vital part of my imagination
journey, as I attempt to create more inner beauty,
more laughter, and the sense of infinite possibilities.
Tonight at the department store, I did find my
lamp - though I never thought I would say those
words, either.
All who thought Mike Tyson
couldn’t even read a book, much
less write one (Undisputed Truth)
had to be surprised, and many did
dispute Tyson’s “truth.”
Rory Hollaway was chief among
them. Hollaway was one of four
people who took care of Tyson during his early years. Make no mistake. Mikey needed a keeper more
than his pet tiger. I wonder if the
tiger taught Tyson the correct method to use when he bit off Evander
Holyfield’s ear.
In Hollaway’s version of the truth
he took care of everything for the
champ including managing his pre-fight training
to making deals extricating him from wife Robin
Givens and her gold digging mother to handling
things with Don King. He also spills all about Tyson’s sex addiction, his comically horrible driving, and his wild man approach to life.
Either way, it is a fun read and answers again the
old question “What do you have when you give
an idiot a million dollars?” The answer is: a million dollar idiot. (Review by Ricky Thomason)
***
“Land O’ Goshen” by:
Charles McNair.
Alabama author Charles McNair must have had a crystal
ball when he wrote this book in
1994. If he did, it was a darned
good one. “Land o’ Goshen”
tells the tales of a future time
when religious fundamentalists
wage a brutal civil war with all
whose beliefs are not the same
as theirs. The rest of the sinners, all other churches and denominations are doomed as the
fundies seek control of the very
fabric of our political system.
Does any part of this sound familiar to you? McNair must have had a time machine and visited America in this day and age.
McNair can hold his own with other great American writers from any day and age, Mark Twain,
Joel Chandler Harris, Truman Capote, Toni Morrison, Ken and Ken Kesey to name a few.
Tyson was like a kid in a candy
store when he found he had the
money to blow on an endless parade
of hookers.
Hollaway found his job increasingly more difficult as Tyson spun
more and more out of control. After
fifteen years of friendship, Tyson
fired him and moved closer and
closer to Don King, not exactly the
most trustworthy guy to have his
paws on your purse strings.
Someone in Tyson’s ear told him Hollaway was
pretty much the cause of all his problems. Besides, the new management had an endless supply
of the best drugs as well a long queue of the best
hookers money could buy.
Hollaway sounds bitter, and who could blame him
if things happened the way he said it did.
One gets the feeling that “Taming The Beast
“smells a whole lot like a man playing big time
defense. The real truth probably lies somewhere
in between Tyson’s book and Hollaway’s tell all.
Author Fannie Flagg calls “Land
O’ Goshen” a “psycho-political
thriller.”
It is set in Alabama where all psychos come to run for office and
get elected by a group of voters
with IQs somewhere below the
temperature of lukewarm tea.
LOG is funny, but also sad because the future is now. (Review
by Ricky Thomason)
***
“Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn
Nick and Amy are about to celebrate their fifth
wedding anniversary when Amy disappears.
When a search does not find Amy, the police look
at the husband. Nick has a lot of secrets and he
lies a lot.
But could he kill his beautiful charming wife?
“Gone Girl” is fast paced and takes a lot of twists
and turns. It keeps you guessing.
You are not going to want to put this book down.
(Review by: Lisa Gray Thomason)
The ultimate beauty of that painting was the comment made by my dear friend Miss Beth Nor-
THE VALLEY PLANET
#021915031115
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
17
The Valley Planet Music Exchange is FREE to any individual (not businesses) looking to
buy, sell, trade or find bandmates. You get a headline and 3 lines of text for FREE!
Please call (256) 533-4613 or
email your ads to classifieds@valleyplanet.com.
Multi-inst’ist/vocalist seeks guitarist/harmonicist/singer
named Danny, 65, from Madison. Call/text Joe at
256-617-1395.
Guitarist/Keyboardist/Singer seeks another guitarist
and/or keyboardist, as well as a bassist who’s quick on the
uptake. Ideally, should sing (well). Have drummer. For
multiple different projects: Wedding/corporate gig band
(covers, ‘60s-‘10s); jazz/blues/fusion; originals in ALL styles.
Call/text Joe at 256-617-1395.
Speaker For Sale, Used 50 inch tall, 25 inch wide and 16
inch deep. Black with wheels. $110. 256 606-5152, Decatur.
Looking for a music comedy side kick. I change words in
songs but, I need a guitar player or Keys. call Fred
256-653-3503
15” Hartke Transporter Bass Guitar Cabinet for Sale.
Comes with Eminence Alpha A-15 speaker inside. Large
enough to play with a loud band but light enough for
convenient transport. $150 256 431-5130
Charvel Model One, made in Japan Mid 80’s. One
Humbucker, one volume knob, Rock Maple neck, Glossy Red
finish, Spring fulcrum Trem, Charvel Hardshell Case,Simple,
Classy, Hard to find in Very good Condition, Serious Only $325
call Mark 256-722-9250
The Single Guy:
Communi-Date
by Aaron Hurd
“Just Friends”
I
t doesn’t matter how old you are that phrase is
never easy to swallow when you’re pursuing
someone you feel could possibly be something
and they drop that famous line on you! You know
the one, “I was hoping we can just be friends” or
“I like you just as a friend.” I wish there was a
better phrase than those stupid two words (Just
Friends). To make it worse is when someone tries
to sugar coat it with “I just want to be friends, but
if you don’t, I understand.” Let’s be real, what this
REALLY means is, “If you want to be friends,
cool, but I would rather not be friends with you…
so please just move on!”
So why do I bring this up? Because, yep-you
guessed it - it happened to me. What makes it
worse is I got this from a forty-one year old woman. I can understand getting this from a twentysomething female, but it just sounds wrong and
immature coming from an older woman. Look I
got dissed, yes it hurt my ego, but it also made me
realize how stupid those two words sound when
you’re turning someone down. Let me tell you my
story and break it down for you.
Mistake #1 - This woman was forty one, had a
three year old kid with a guy, left him and has an
ex-husband, who I think she’s trying to get back
with and she is gorgeous! Now, if you read any of
my past articles, you know I usually do not go out
with single mothers, just because it usually comes
with a lot of drama and baggage not so much the
kid, but the ex-drama is what I have a problem
with. And when they have a kid, that ex is usually
somehow always still in the picture. Who wants
that? I know I certainly don’t.
18
Leslie model 900 speaker w/Combo preamp. Very good
condition-320 watts, 2 piece Leslie. JBL loaded. Will blister
the paint on the wall.. $2000. Call Mike @ 256-347-2950 and
please leave contact info.
Serious musician with experience playing in professional
bands seeks band/musicians for cover act. Plays guitar, bass,
banjo, and sings. Call Alex at 334-268-7403.
Fender Squire Bronco Bass and Line 6 Tone Port UX2
for sale. Bass is great for backup, beginner, or practice
bass. $150 OBO. $75 for Tone Port. Includes USB cord. No
Software. 256-431-5130
Club lighting system used in home studio for recording
and performances. 7 different lights. Package includes the
lights and an 8 channel control system. Various quality
instruments for sale as well. Rick 256-425-4992.
Epiphone Wildkat Electric Guitar. Buff Colored Hollow
body Archtop Brand new condition! All set up & ready
to play! Includes case, tooled leather strap and ‘Pignose’
practice amp. All this for $600, firm. Serious inquiries only.
Text me at (256) 457-9204
TAMA Starclassic Bubinga 7 pc. Drum Set (magnetic
orange) with hard cases, plus 10 piece set of Paiste
Signature cymbals with TAMA stands and pro touring case.
All professional equipment in excellent condition. $2,950.
Call Steve at: 256-771-3385.
So, I broke my own rule and I made the mistake
of inviting the kid along on the date, which was
mistake number 2! I thought “I will look like the
cool great guy who invites the kid,” Nope! Instead, I looked like the nice guy who will help
entertain the kid so mom can have a night out
while she texts the whole time. Yes, she was on
her phone most of the date while I was “playing
house” with the kid.
Mistake #3 I asked her out for a second date (in
my defense - she is hot!) and more signs she was
not interested popped up. I even felt the famous
knot in my stomach which tells me, Aaron what
the hell are you doing? She is not into you; she
has a kid, run!
Just to re-assure myself that she is not for me,
I texted her that night for a third date just to be
sure I had no chance. Yes, I like torture! And
more than 24 hours later, I got the famous “Just
friends” reply and more. Here is what I got back
word for word “I was hoping we can be friends. I
was interested in someone a few months ago and
sat on that just due to timing. He is waiting for me
when I am ready. Would you be interested in just a
friendship? I understand if the answer is no.” I so
wanted to text back “Well, he sounds more patient
than me, good luck!” and the old me would have!
I was civil and wrote back “yes, of course.” But
man -I should have gone with my gut reaction.
First of all, why do I need to hear about a guy
who is “Waiting for you!?” And why in the world
are you wasting time with me if your mind is set
on someone else? Truth be told, she is probably
waiting for him and I was a distraction. The problem I created is inviting the kid and never giving
myself a one on one chance with her. I never had
a chance to be me when a three year old in my
presence, and once again the good, nice guy game
never ends with a happy ending.
I made mistakes, I tried and failed, but my options
are a lot bigger than a forty one year old with a
kid. However, she apparently has a line of guys
#021915031115
Send in your random encounters today. It’s FREE!!
We are putting all the categories together since it seems like there are always more jeers than anything else!! But just to give you an idea of what the To Yuno from Yunohoos are about… I Saw you:
but you didn’t catch my name, You saw me or you think you were seen: Cheers: Pay your respect to
those who deserve it and of course Jeers: Frustrated? Tell us all about it. Thankfully, we don’t know
who you are!
To send in your FREE ad
1. Keep your word limit to 40 words. No names, just initials if you want.
2. Meet the deadline.
3. Get it to us: Put “To Yuno from Yunohoo” in the subject line of the email and send to classifieds@
valleyplanet.com.
Dave – Please stop telling everyone I don’t like you anymore. That is a lie. I never did like you. You.
(Ed note: Your wish has been granted. Marley has a column in this issue of the VP. Enjoy)
R&S – I overheard you guys saying “Wish I could do that” when you saw Sugar Bear cleaning himself:
Don’t let me catch you licking on my dog.” Craw
D – Which is better, DD or K K? If you said D you just proved you like frozen donuts better than freshly
made ones. Nine out of ten cops prefer KK, and they can’t be wrong. Mgr
J, Are you really gonna do that at the MardiGras Parade? I guess half the peeps will like it…F
I have an Epic question: can one of you barefooted jokers tell me what possible reason or right a church
has to run credit checks on its members? Epicurious
Okay, Brit Twit, tell me why everything is “bloody” this or “bloody that” in England? A bloody Yank
Happy Valentines Pixie! I love you anyway…J
Marley the Cat is our new hero. Last issue’s column left no doubt in anyone’s mind that Jackson Galaxy
has truly met his cat from hell. Marley needs her own fan club and Facebook account. VP fans.
LGT – You better, you better, you bet. Who, me?
Blue Jean – You’re going to wish you had taken a flu shot. Despite what you believe, there isn’t a conspiracy behind every tree and the gov’t isn’t out to poison the whole community. Disappointed friend.
So proud to be the mother of my “just married” gay son! CD
Can anyone besides an NBA player that cannot lie tell me what’s so appealing about Kim K’s Banjo
butt? Last time I saw an arse that big it was on buffalo. Wondering
Does your unvaccinated kid have the measles? Enjoy – and thanks for spreading the disease and exposing the responsible parents’ progeny while you are at it. The rest of the herd
Idiot driver on Greene St: You cannot do a u-turn from the right lane, across the left lane and into the
parking lot without getting more than a WTH! Yes, I am the one who barely missed your stupid self!
You have to have a license to have a dog but any two fools can have a baby. Go figure. Too bad abortion
can’t be performed retroactively. My choice – not yours. MYOB
How does one get a job manicuring camels’ toenails? Job Seeker
L- I knew you were addicted to that iPhone when you were texting while we were sexing. R
 
To the late and much missed Melinda: You immortalized yourself with the words, “Get off me! My
brownies are burning.”
JD, Let’s divorce on Valentines since that is when we married 20 yrs ago. Really. YuNoHoo
“waiting” for her and I have a dog at home waiting for me. So maybe she does have more options. Just
glad I got off the train (ok, pushed off the train), but I sure did learn a few lessons - the biggest being…
never say “I just want to be friends” and if I do use that phrase, never belittle it with an “if you do not
want to be friends - I understand.” That is one cocky stuck up way of turning someone down. Hope the
dude who is “waiting” for her knows what he is getting into - or maybe he is the smartest guy in the
world waiting for the kid to turn 18 and move out, and for her to grow up. If so, I need advice from him!
Have you gotten the “Just Friends” turn down, did it work out as friends or ruin things? Have you used
the phrase yourself, does it bother you when you get the “if not I understand” piggy back to it? Email
me aaronthesingleguy@gmail.com.
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
THE VALLEY PLANET
Report: Media Quick Profile
Base Population: 784,215
26.1%
25.1%
Annual Income (Cume)
24.3%
22%
11.7%
150K+
100K-150K
75K-100K
75+
<15K
15K25K
3.3%
50K-75K
5.5%
65-74
50-54
5.8%
8.5%
Gender Profile (Cume)
Ethnicity
Profile (Cume)
6.3%
%
13.7
OTHER
COLLEGE DEGREE
BLACK
SOME COLLEGE
48.2%
51.8%
13
.6%
WHITE
H.S. GRADUATE
84.3%
H.S. OR LESS
MALE
46.3%
ADVANCED DEGREE
2.2%
FEMALE
Education
Profile (Cume)
45-49
35-44
25-34
5.9%
7.3%
14.1%
13.4%
11.7%
35K-50K
13%
17.4%
25K-35K
18.7%
55-64
Age Analysis (Cume)
Bases: Adults Age 18+
Media Persons: 50,444
Audience Profile (Cume)
Total Income: $3,834,166,750
Mean Income: $76,009
Mean Age: 48
Home Owners: 91%
Mean Home Value: $196,832
Mean Miles Past Week: 234
Based on The Media Audit: Huntsville Apr-Jun 2013
THE VALLEY PLANET
#021915031115
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
19
s
d
a
e
h p!
u
it’s raining
nickels
thanks to new checking
options at Redstone!
Nickels are falling from the sky with
Redstone’s new Relationship Checking
Account. You’ll get a nickel back on debit
card purchases.*
Visit www.redfcu.org or any branch to
find out more. Heads up! It’s raining
nickels for you!
Minimum opening deposit required to open Relationship Checking Account is $500. $8 monthly checking maintenance fee will be waived with one Direct Deposit credited to account per month or an average monthly balance of $500.
With Redstone CashBack, you will receive $.05 cash back for every POS debit card transaction you complete after the first
four POS transactions per month from a Relationship Checking Account. Only active Relationship Checking Accounts
in good standing will receive Redstone CashBack rewards. Rewards will only be given for debit card POS purchases after
the four per month threshold is met and will not be given for the first four purchases per month for Relationship
Checking Accounts. Rewards will not be given for ATM, cash advance, or balance inquiry transactions.
Must have PIN/password to access online banking. Must have online banking and PIN/password to access mobile
banking and My Virtual Strongbox. Must have online banking, mobile banking, and PIN/password to use Remote
Deposit Capture. Standard wireless carrier text message and/or data rates and fees may apply; check with your carrier
for more information.
Members with Relationship Checking Accounts will automatically receive the Extra Credit Line of Credit up to $250 if
they have had no non-sufficient funds (NSFs) during the first 90 days after the checking account opening date. RFCU
is an Equal Credit Opportunity Lender.
20
your trusted advisor
800-234-1234 • www.redfcu.org • Federally Insured by NCUA
#021915031115
VOLUME 13 ISSUE 3
THE VALLEY PLANET

205 - Valley Planet

Transcription

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