Busy Body Fitness - County Star-News

A6
County Star-News
Laugh
Mistakes on a resume
RESUME BLOOPERS
“Personal: I’m married with 9
“Here are my qualifications for
children. I don’t require prescrip- you to overlook.”
tion drugs.
REASONS FOR LEAVING
“I am extremely loyal to my
THE LAST JOB:
present firm, so please don’t let
“Responsibility makes me nerthem know of my immediate vous.”
availability.”
“They insisted that all employ“Qualifications: I am a man ees get to work by 8:45 every
filled with passion and integri- morning. Couldn’t work under
ty, and I can act on short notice. those conditions.”
I’m a class act and do not come
REASONS FOR LEAVING
cheap.”
MY LAST JOB:
“Was met with a string of bro“I intentionally omitted my
salary history. I’ve made money ken promises and lies, as well as
and lost money. I’ve been rich cockroaches.”
and I’ve been poor. I prefer being
“I was working for my mom
rich.”
until she decided to move.”
“Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hop“The company made me a
ping.’ I have never quit a job.”
scapegoat - just like my three
previous employers.”
“Number of dependents: 40.”
JOB RESPONSIBILITIES:
“Marital Status: Often. Chil“While I am open to the initial
dren: Various.”
nature of an assignment, I am
decidedly disposed that it be so
it
oriented as to at least partially in- and Mongolian sheep.”
corporate the experience enjoyed
PERSONAL INTERESTS:
heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to
“Donating blood. 14 gallons so
the application of more rarefied
facets of financial management far.”
as the major sphere of responsiSMALL TYPOS THAT CAN
bility.”
CHANGE THE MEANING:
“Education: College, August
“I was proud to win the Gregg
1880-May 1984.”
Typting Award.”
“Work Experience: Dealing
SPECIAL REQUESTS & JOB
with customers’ conflicts that
OBJECTIVES:
arouse.”
“Please call me after 5:30 be“Develop and recommend an
cause I am self-employed and
my employer does not know I am annual operating expense fudget.”
looking for another job.”
“My goal is to be a meteorol“I’m a rabid typist.”
ogist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I
“Instrumental in ruining entire
should try stock brokerage.”
operation for a Midwest chain
operation.”
“I procrastinate - especially
when the task is unpleasant.”
Play the Office Game
Here’s a way to spice up your
PHYSICAL DISABILITIES: office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Of“Minor allergies to house cats fice Game which awards points
as follows:
WHEELER COUNTY BUSINESS DIRECTORY
Meat Processing
K
A&
Beef processing starts at 49¢
Pork processing starts at 59¢
Vacuum packing available upon request.
Domestic & Wild Game processing.
Bob’s Bail
Bonds
P.O. Box 264
Wheeler, TX 79096
FREE ESTIMATES
(806) 256-3088 • (806) 216-0844
TermiTes
PesT ConTrol
Tree sPrAYinG
McDonaldLand
Cakes • $ 9.99
32 oz Drinks $1.00
McDonalds
1235 N. Main • Shamrock, TX
(806) 256-2567
Toni’s Jewelry & Gifts
Toni Wright • Owner
209 N. Main • Shamrock, TX
(806) 256-3681
tonistreasures88@yahoo.com
Shout random numbers while
someone is counting.
FIVE POINTS
At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be
nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra
points if you actually launch into
it yourself).
Walk into a very busy person’s
office and while they watch you
with growing irritation, turn the
light switch on/off 10 times.
For an hour, refer to everyone
you speak to as ‘Bob.’
After every sentence, say
‘mon’ in a really bad Jamaican
accent. As in, “The report’s on
your desk, mon.” Keep this up
for one hour.
ONE POINT
While an office mate is out,
Run one lap around the office move their chair into the elevaat top speed. Walk sideways to tor.
the photocopier.
In a meeting or crowded situFind the vacuum and start vac- ation, slap your forehead repeatuuming around your desk.
edly and mutter, “Shut up, all of
When they’re not looking, you just shut up!”
pour most of someone’s fresh
cup of coffee into your mug
In a colleague’s diary, write
leaving them with an inch of in 10 a.m.: “See how I look in
brew.
tights.”
Charles Keith Shields, 55
Memorial services for Charles
Keith Shields, 55, of Bonham,
was held at 10 a.m., Monday, December 9, 2013, in Wise Funeral
Home Chapel. Marlon Cole, elder
of the Gunter Church of Christ,
officiated. A private committal in
Gober Cemetery will be held at a
later time. Charles passed away
Wednesday night, December 4,
2013, at Medical Center of McKinney.
Charles was born July 6, 1958,
in Shamrock, Texas, the son of
Charles Worth Shields and Dorothy Golson Shields. He was
a graduate of Shamrock High
School. Charles married Bobbie Jean Edwards on June 17,
1988, in Gober, Texas. He was
a member of Midway Church of
Christ in Bonham and enjoyed
fishing and coaching little league
baseball. Charles was employed
as an electrician with Plyler Construction in Sherman for over 18
years.
Charles is survived by his wife,
Bobbie Sheilds of Bonham, Texas; sons, Todd Michael Shields
and wife, Victoria, and Eli Jacob
Shields, all of Bonham, Texas;
parents, Charles and Dorothy
Sheilds of Shamrock, Texas;
brother, Charles Kenneth Sheilds
and wife, Shona, of Shamrock,
Texas; and grandson, Jaxxon
Carter Sheilds of Bonham, Texas.
Memorial contributions may be
made to the Bonham Baseball
Association www.bonhambaseballsoftball.com.
Please sign the online guest
register at www.wisefuneralhome.com.
Mary E. Whitener, 87
Services for Mrs. Mary E.
Whitener, 87, of Wheeler, Texas, were held at 10 a.m., Monday, December 9, 2013, at the
First Baptist Church in Wheeler,
Texas, with Reverend Rodney
Weatherly, officiating.
Burial
THREE-POINTS
Tuck one pant leg into your followed at Wheeler Cemetery
Babble incoherently at a fel- sock and when queried, answer, under the direction of Peppers
Family Funeral Home in Wheellow employee then ask “Did you “not now” and walk away.
er, Texas. Mrs. Whitener passed
away Friday, December 6, 2013,
in Wheeler, Texas.
Mary Elizabeth Whitener
was born February 28, 1926, in
Wichita Falls, Texas, to the late
Mr. Hester Marrs and Mrs. Opal
(Hansard) Laflin. She graduated from Wheeler ISD and conClarendon, Texas
tinued her education at West
Texas State Teachers College.
She married Hiram Whitener on
June 20, 1969, in Amarillo, TexFamily owned and operated since 1930
as. Mrs. Whitener worked many
places in Wheeler, including the
Wheeler County Tax Office, the
First National Bank, the Wheeler
School District for many years,
Beef Cattle Company, and as
an insurance clerk for Dr. Louie
Mendiloa.
P. O. Box 118
Mrs. Mary Whitener was
a member of the First Baptist
Wheeler, TX 79096
Church in Wheeler, the Order of
(806) 664-5395
the Eastern Star, a charter memof the Thursday Review Club,
(806) 662-7876 Cell ber
a member of the Ladies Legion
License No. TACLB022710E Auxiliary, and was a Girl Scout
leader. She will be dearly missed
by all who knew her.
She was preceded in death by
her parents, her husband, and
her sister, Virginia Rose Pettit.
Mrs. Whitener is survived by
her two daughters, Gwen McCain
and husband, Bob, of Wheeler,
Texas and Sherrilyn Mickler and
husband, Terry, of Jacksonville,
Texas; three grandchildren, Cristen White of Wheeler, Texas,
Cory Cornett of Tulsa, Oklahoma, Shelley Louthan and husband, Kip, of Henderson, Nevada; five great-grandchildren, and
three great-great-grandchildren.
The family suggest memorials
be to the First Baptist Church of
Changing Room Available
Wheeler, P.O. Box 2069, Wheeler, Texas, 79096, or to your fa•Elliptical
vorite charity.
You may send condolences
•Treadmills
online at www.peppersfuneral•Bicycles
home.com.
MARSHALL’S HEATING & A/C
sHAmroCK, TeXAs
License and bonded - TPCL 5070
Kneel in front of the water
cooler and drink directly from
the nozzle.
1-800-999-9506
CHASE
PEST CONTROL
Over 40 years experience.
get all that, I don’t want to have
to repeat it.” - Double points if
you do this to a manager.
Wallace
Monument Company
Pat Childress
Family owned and operated.
Up
Ignore the first five people
Carry your laptop over to your
who say ‘good morning’ to you. colleague and ask “You wanna
trade?”
Phone someone in the office
you barely know, leave your
Repeat the following conversaname and say “Just called to say tion 10 times to the same person:
I can’t talk right now. Bye.”
“Do you hear that?” “What?”
“Never mind, it’s gone now.”
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over
Come to work in army fatigues
your ears and grimace.
and when asked why, say, “I
can’t talk about it.”
While riding an elevator, gasp
Speak with an accent (French,
dramatically every time the German, Porky Pig, etc.) during
doors open.
a very important conference call.
(806) 447-5660
1303 8th St. • Wellington, TX 79095
(806) 826-0654
Cell • (806) 334-0452
Thursday, December 12, 2013
AIR DUCT CLEANING
Mark Marshall
Owner
Busy Body
Fitness
Membership
$25
Per Month
Monday - Friday
9 a.m. - 5:30 p.m.
•Health Riders
•PT 1000 Weight Trainer
(806) 256-1134 • 101 E. 2nd
Shamrock
Christine Marett