Knitting my way to freedom Columnists :: Keeping The Faith EDGEwire Headlines

Bay Windows - New England's largest GLBT newspaper
1/22/09 9:12 AM
Back to: Keeping The Faith » Columnists » Home
Columnists :: Keeping The Faith
EDGEwire Headlines
Knitting my way to freedom
Focus on the Family lobbies in
Wyoming on gay marriage
contributing writer
Wednesday Jan 21, 2009
Defense for Canada polygamists
cites gay marriage
by Rick Harris
I have been knitting like a mad man this winter. That’s right, I have been
knitting. After years of aborted attempts I am finally finishing what my
Nana tried to teach me when I was young. I can’t really tell you why it
has taken me so long but I suspect that like many things in my life,
society’s gender rubrics were far stronger than my ability to confront
them. And so those wonderful lessons with Nana were set aside as I got
older and I fell into my prescribed gender role (sort of), which did not
include knitting. I should have been stronger. I should have been more
committed. But I wasn’t.
Rufus, Cyndi Highlight Gay
Inaugural Ball
On 1st Day, Obama Puts Gay
Rights Front & Center
UK Fireman Compensated After
Refusing to Appear at Pride Event
Most Popular This Week
What I remember about those days with Nana is that they were quiet and
peaceful. The rhythm of the needles clicking together, the moments of
wordless concentration, were wonderful. I think Nana felt the same way
as we sat next to each other with only brief words of instruction passing
between us. On occasion though, Nana would let her thoughts out and
she would ask me questions about who I was, what I liked and questions
to see if I understood the world around me. Nana obviously knew more
about me than I did. I talked to her about music and art, the enjoyment I
got out of helping my mom cook and ballet lessons (a Saturday morning
activity for me until my father decided tap dancing would be better. Don’t
think the irony is lost on me.)
1. Review: Everything I know
about lesbians...
2. In brief: Marriage equality
3.
4.
5.
6.
During those times there were the inevitable questions like "What would
you like to be when you grow up?" For ages I wanted to be an
oceanographer like Jacques Cousteau and then an orchestra conductor
like Leonard Bernstein. But no matter what I mentioned Nana was sure to
remind me that I could be whatever I set my mind to.
As I got older those professional goals got lost. I spent my teenage years
adrift like so many other young people. But I still believed what Nana
said: that I could be whatever I set my mind to. Or at least I knew I
could to a point. You see, despite what encouraging words were said, as I
came to understand the realities of the world, the word "except" crept
into my mind and the minds of many of my friends. Shaped by our own
observations of the world, we began to hear, "You can do that job except
if you are black," "Of course you could do that except you are a woman
and your place is at home," and, "Sure you can love anyone you want,
except if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender." Those exceptions
were rarely spoken out loud but we heard them clearly anyway. And so,
we settled into the safe but uncomfortable role that was prescribed for us
until one day the words of a Martin Luther King, Susan B. Anthony or
Gene Robinson awoke us to the reality that we didn’t have to live with
those exceptions. Why is it that it took me so long to hear those words in
a way that I could really believe them?
But finally, I do believe. I believe that we all deserve the freedom to
chart our own destiny. I believe that we should be able to be whatever
we set our minds to and to love whomever we choose. As a country,
however, we aren’t there yet. And we won’t get there unless we are
willing to work. Our new president in his inaugural address has charted a
course for us that will require every ounce of effort we can muster and
then some. "We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the
time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm
our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that
precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation:
the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a
chance to pursue their full measure of happiness." I know that to make
that God-give promise a reality is going to require an almost superhuman effort, self sacrifice and commitment. In this fast food generation,
7.
8.
9.
10.
supporters, opponents hold
dueling forums on Goodridge;
Trans group on Cape
A closer look at the Prop. 8
defeat
Panel discussions offer
divergent views on impact of
Goodridge
Protests, lawsuits and calls for
boycotts follow Prop 8 passage
Election Day anti- equality
victories spark heated debate
among LGBT advocates
Celebrating Goodridge’s social
innovation
Former In Newsweekly staffer
launches new mag
Web exclusive: Obama chief of
staff pick signals LGBT issues
will take back seat in short
term
Thousands gather in Boston to
protest Prop 8
Upcoming Events
1.23 Dance show, "Elements"
1.23- Harvard Film Archive: Max
2 9 Ophuls
1.24 11th Annual Lesbian &
1.24
1.24
1.24
Friends Dance, a Benefit for
the Massachusetts Breast
Cancer Coalition.
Breast Cancer Coalition
fundraiser
Folk singer, John Gorka
New England Conservatory
symposium
1.24- 2009 Still Life Exhibition
2 28
1.25 dbar T- Dance
1.25 North Shore Tea Dance
1.28 MARE adoption session
Quick Poll
http://www.baywindows.com/index.php?ch=columnists&sc=keeping_the_faith&sc3=&id=86154&pf=1
It’s a new day! Which
moment of President
Obama’s inauguration
Page 1 of 2
Bay Windows - New England's largest GLBT newspaper
1/22/09 9:12 AM
Obama’s inauguration
events most effectively
restored dignity to the
Oval Office?
too many of us assume all our expectations will be met immediately and
with very little effort on our part, as if someone could just pass us our
rights through the drive-thru window and we can go merrily on our way.
But as we saw with the right to marry in California, it doesn’t work that
way. We will need to hold our president and everyone in leadership -including the leadership in the LGBT community --accountable for their
words and actions.
Miley Cyrus and the
Jonas Brothers cross party
aisles to perform at the first
ever "Kids’ Inaugural
Concert."
Comedian Ray Romano
makes cracks about
Presidential "crowd surfing."
The souvenir stands
selling Obama kitsch
(watches, ski caps, and CDs
of speeches set to techno
music) on the ground in DC.
Seeing Dick Cheney do
his best Dr. Evil impression.
The text message voting
and Simon Cowell’s barbed
wit. Oh wait, they’re saving
that for 2012.
We will need to use our time wisely. Taking action does not mean whining
on your blog, bitching at the office or being cynical on your Facebook wall.
It means getting your hands dirty. Worrying about who gets to pray at
the inauguration or who gets on television distracts us from the real task
at hand: creating policy and legislation that unshackles the LGBT
community from its bonds. Who cares about Rick Warren, when we have
Prop. 8 in California to overturn, "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" and draconian
state laws that prevent marriage, adoption and, in some cases, simple
contracts between same-sex couples. And sadly we have just begun the
fight for our transgender brothers and sisters. Get a grip people! Let’s
spend our energy wisely.
Today, many years after my relatives sailed to the New World chained in
the bilge of a boat or were removed from their ancestral homes and
placed on reservations, an African American stood on the steps of the
Capitol and took the oath of office of the President of the United States. A
moment so overwhelming that my 86-year-old father could barely speak
when I asked him how he felt about it. It filled me with both tears of joy
and tears of sadness. The joy that at least Barack, perhaps filled with the
notions from his Nana that he could be anything he set his mind to, did
just what he wanted to do. My tears of sadness were because that is still
so far from being a reality for all people. We need to help our president
understand that his journey, although now possible for more people, is
still not possible for all Americans. As I sit and finish the scarf that I
started some time ago, I smile and think somewhere today, some little
gay boy is sitting with his Nana and hearing her words of encouragement
as they knit, or crochet or cook together. They will have heard together
our new president’s dreams and admonitions. And she will tell him that
he can be anything he sets his mind to. When it comes time for him to
live his dreams I want there to be no obstacles in his path. No
exceptions. I want him to be able to knit, God damn it!
Vote!
Columnists
So with the encouragement of my president I am going to get to work.
No more sitting around waiting. The time has come for us not to follow
but to lead. Martin Luther King, Jr., in his letter from Birmingham Jail,
reminds us that "Human progress never rolls in on the wheels of
inevitability; it comes through the efforts of men (and women) willing to
be co-workers with God, and without this hard work, time itself becomes
an ally of the forces of social stagnation." Now is our time. Let’s not
waste it.
LGBT Parenting: Taking
stock, looking ahead
Small things, big
moment
Rick Harris can be reached at rharris@baywindows.com
Back to: Keeping The Faith » Columnists » Home
COMMENTS
Armageddon
approaches
Add New Comment
Bottoms up for the
state GOP
Copyright © 2007
Bay Windows, Inc. / All Rights Reserved
http://www.baywindows.com/index.php?ch=columnists&sc=keeping_the_faith&sc3=&id=86154&pf=1
Page 2 of 2