How to deal with the “NO” GUY in our head

Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
How to deal with
the “NO” GUY in our head
by John Trojanowski
Each one of us has a ―little guy‖ in our head that keeps telling us ―NO‖ when we are confronted by situations that need
our decisions. Admittedly, there are many times when this
―little guy‖ is very valuable and keeps us from acting on impulses that can be detrimental to our well-being.
are approached properly so don‘t limit yourself by listening to that
inside voice telling you ―NO.‖ Put the onus on the other person. If
you tell yourself “NO” from the onset then the answer is automatically ―NO.‖
When dealing with your ―NO” Guy, keep an open mind and evaluate
the situation rationally because you never know what opportunities
await you.
Welcome Message
By Aida Rodriguez, PMP
But there are other times when the ―No‖ Guy limits us and
can cause us to miss out on opportunities. He seems to rattle
around in our heads at the most inopportune times; such as
when we try to get up the nerve to introduce ourselves to a
total stranger in a social setting. This situation occurs when
we are trying to network ourselves especially when we are in
a state of career transition.
Summer has always brought us a season full of warmth, dreams,
hopes, celebrations, and relaxations. But sadly, we are reminded by
the lyrics in Chad and Jeremy‘s A Summer Song. ―They say that all
good things must end someday/Autumn leaves must fall...And then
I‘ll dream of summer days again...‖ It‘s consoling to know that there
are always the summer memories that keep you warm in the fall and
winter.
The ―No‖ Guy also keeps us from making connections with
people we come in contact with every day. Let me cite you a
good case in point.
For your summer reading enjoyment, we are proud to present you
topics that deal with techniques and guidelines on networking, job
search, and social media.
One of my hobbies is astronomy. I love to gaze at the stars
in my front yard with the use of my telescope. I have a
neighbor across the street from my house that has a floodlight that shines right into my front yard. I do have to qualify
this by saying that his house sits higher than mine.
For our Spotlight section, we are elated to feature, Aaron and Laura Cohen, our high-powered and accomplished husband and wife
team. Speaking of Aaron, he generously contributed an article entitled ―Networking for Introverts – A Warm Introduction.”
One night a couple of weeks ago, I was setting up my telescope and I mentioned to my wife that I needed to ask our
neighbor to turn off his floodlight. She said I shouldn't do
that but unheedingly; I went over to my neighbor‘s house. I
asked him about the floodlight and he said that he would just
remove the bulbs since there was no on/off switch for the
light.
on ―How to deal with the “NO” Guy in your head.”
During our conversation, he told me that someone had given
him a telescope for his daughter. He asked me if I could
help him set it up. To which I readily agreed.
Imagine if I had listened to my little voice and my wife; I
would have missed out on the opportunity to play with my
telescope and to assist a budding amateur astronomer from
getting started in the hobby.
I have found that most people are very agreeable when they
John Trojanowski, our first-time contributor, has given us pointers
Our all-time contributor, Jerrold “Jerry” Clifford is trying to impress
us with his culinary know-how in ―Networking Chickens Get
Cooked.”
In his ―Alchemist Arcanum‖ column, The Alchemist shows us
how to make our resumes stand out by introducing the concept of
The Inverted Triangle (also called The Inverted Pyramid).
Rod Colon’s ―Eight Core Networking Guidelines‖ helps us to
better manage our career. Rod invites us to join his ―Free 7-Step
Search Mini-Course.‖
Carl Reid’s ―Savvy Intrapreneur‖ discusses the Employee Manual –
its published office rules and the unwritten rules connected to them.
Chip Hartman’s ―15 Great tips for optimizing your LinkedIn
Profile” slide deck teaches us how to enhance our personal brand
and message.
Continued on Page 2
Page 1
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
Continued from Page 1
Congratulations to our ETP members
Beatrice Block, Hsuan-Yu Pan, and Paul Rosenthal for landing
safely. Read their original and ―Unedited‖ letters of appreciation.
[Ed. note: letters not edited for grammar and punctuation]
Awareness Corner – ―Red Marbles” (Author Unknown) is a poignant story that will touch your hearts.
Lamplighter Survey – We would like to encourage you, our readers, to give us your feedback on how we are doing by filling out the
survey form.
Get challenged by the Guest Puzzler's Crossword Puzzle.
Remember, the solution is just a click away.
Aida Rodriguez's "What does it take to be a Good Networker?"
offers a way to become a better networker.
Barbara Daisak’s ―LinkedIn Tech Tip” will help you find people
on LinkedIn and email them directly.
Networking chickens don‘t research networking events.
They don‘t learn who is likely to attend such as representatives of small companies or large corporations or members
of professional organizations.
Networking chickens don‘t like to get out of their comfort
zones. They don‘t like to call people they haven‘t met personally even when those people might have important information; they would rather do without the knowledge.
Don‘t be a networking chicken -- they risk being ―eaten,‖
that is, they are more vulnerable to having someone else get
the desired job or career advancement or business objective. Without talking to people you cannot make contacts.
You will not gain information or take advantage of their
experience, knowledge, or contacts.
To avoid being a networking chicken at a networking event,
it is important to follow several steps. Five significant steps
are:
1.
Identify the purpose of the event. For example,
is it to provide an atmosphere where small business owners can meet, do business or form alliances, or a way for job seekers to explore the
marketplace? This can take some research or effort, something which networking chickens often
avoid. Not knowing an event‘s purpose means
that you will not be prepared to take full advantage of it.
2.
Identify your objectives for attending the
event. Is it to meet specific individuals or individuals with selected job titles (directors, managers, accountants, engineers, etc.), or to expand
your knowledge in a certain area, or to find out
what other job seekers (or the competition) are
doing. You cannot satisfy your objectives or determine if the event was worthwhile unless you
know what you want to get from it.
3.
Work the room. Don‘t just pay your entrance fee
(if there is one) at the door. Strategically position
yourself to meet people as they enter or leave.
Then circulate. Introduce yourself and start a
conversation.
4.
Get remembered. Don‘t just mumble a few
words when someone speaks to you. Be positive.
Ask questions such as how long they have been
doing their line of expertise. Let them know you
will be happy to be of assistance to them (if you
can).
5.
Provide for future contacts. If you want to talk
to a particular individual again, make sure to exchange your contact information.
To our Contributing writers and Staff members – Thank you for
making this another outstanding issue.
Networking Chickens Get Cooked
By Jerrold (Jerry) Clifford
Most people like chicken. There are new eatery franchises opening
every day. Some offer favorites such as fried chicken. Another
franchise chain is now offering grilled chicken. But there is one type
of chicken you don‘t want to promote. I call it the networking
chicken. For a variety of reasons, they are people who are uncomfortable networking and shy away from it. I know this doesn‘t apply
to you but I am sure you have met one or two. They go to meetings
but don‘t talk to many people. At events they wait until someone
else speaks to them first before engaging in a conversation. Or they
hang around the bar (if there is one at a networking event) speaking
to the bartender rather than the participants. They stick to associates or friends who joined them at the event rather than seeking
out new contacts. Often, they don‘t bring business cards or, if they
do, they hoard them like bearer bonds—they don‘t realize that business cards, no matter how expensive to print, have no value until
they are given away.
Chicken is good to eat. However, networking chicken is
not palatable at all.
Page 2
Networking for Introverts—
A Warm Introduction
By Aaron Cohen
Yes, it is time to write another article for the Lamplighter. I
do this because:
1.
2.
3.
4.
I like to write.
I have enough hubris to believe that I have something interesting to say.
I want to support the important work of Empowering Today‘s Professionals.
Our editor asked.
However, I‘m not changing the theme of I Hate Networking
that has always been my mantra in this arena. It is an important message, because my fellow introverts need to know
that there is hope for us. I‘m not going to defend my introvert ‗street credo‘ to those of you who have only seen the
‗master networker‘ veneer I have fashioned with Rod‘s tutelage. But ask my wife Laura in a quiet moment, and she will
tell you how my natural tendencies continually tug me into a
corner with a good book.
The New York Times recently had an article about a study on
the survival value of introverted behavior. Introverts observe more, and process more detail when making decisions.
The researchers observed toddlers in play groups, and divided children into cruisers, who easily played, mingled and
explored, and sitters, who spent more time sitting on Mom‘s
lap and observing. I fully relate to the sitters, and it is even
easier to sit back and observe when you are sitting on a travel
scooter, or in a wheelchair. While observing may offer a
survival advantage, it does little to enhance your circle of
influence or expand your network. It also may make you a
better networking partner, after you make the initial contact.
So what is it that drives me out of my shell to participate in
and host networking events?
How do I psych myself up to initiate small talk with total
strangers? There are few more rewarding feelings than helping someone connect with others and find that you have
advanced both parties toward meeting some present or future goal. It doesn‘t matter whether they are looking for a
new job, or for a new hairdresser or mechanic, making connections for people brings power, prestige and a sense of
accomplishment. Connecting a new contact with an old
colleague also improves the quality of your network by cementing a new relationship, and reinvigorating an old, possibly dormant one.
I‘ll use my son as a good example of this. Jonathan has just
graduated from Rutgers University, and he is looking for a
job. While not wanting to be overbearing, or do this for
him, I do want him to approach this endeavor using the best
practices we teach at ETP. I am slowly introducing him to
people in my network who can help him focus his efforts
and take that first step into working for a living. I am excited
to contact old friends and colleagues to ask them to impart
their wisdom to a promising young man in a way that I will
never be comfortable asking for myself. Jon knows that he
is not asking people to help him find a job—people hate to
be set up for failure. He is asking them about their career
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
paths.
How do we do this? I employ the art of the warm introduction.
The principles of the warm introduction include:
 Both parties separately need to agree to be introduced.
 Contact information should be included.
 The onus of making the contact should be on the person
with the current need.
 This person needs to assertively follow up.
Here are two e-mails I have recently sent to request permission to
make the introduction, and then making the introduction by sending an e-mail to both parties.
Getting Permission (sent only to Bob):
Bob,
My son Jon has graduated from college and is job hunting.
He has an Information Technology degree from Rutgers
and is fluent in Arabic, Hebrew and Spanish. He also has a
little French.
Would you be willing to connect with him and have an
avuncular chat about the industry and various career arcs
in IT?
Hope all is well with you and your family,
Regards,
Aaron
The Warm Introduction (sent to Bob and Jon):
Bob,
It was good seeing you on Monday.
As we discussed my son Jon has graduated from college
and is job hunting.
Thank you for offering to chat with him. His LinkedIn profile is
http://www.linkedin.com/in/jonjcohen.
I will leave it to him to reach out for you, make an appointment to speak on the phone, and share his resume.
Regards and have a good July 4th,
Aaron
Jon,
Mr. Smith’s e-mail is above.
His work phone number is 973-XXX-YYYY.
I suggest you contact him by e-mail to set up a time when it
might be convenient for him to talk.
Dad
I hope everyone has a wonderful summer. Since summer is a more
relaxed time of year, it is a great time for networking; that is establishing and strengthening relationships. Expanding your contacts
on LinkedIn is fine if you are using LinkedIn to document the real
person to person relationships that you are building. One of the
best ways to do that, even for introverts, is to make
helping others your primary goal.
Page 3
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
In today's job market, the conventional wisdom is to stand out. Since there are so many résumés for Human Resources to wade through,
the possibility is great that not all résumés are read or even given a cursory review. Much has been made about cover letters, that these are
actually "sales letters;" often, though, while important information about you may be included, it may be lost because it is buried in the
letter or résumé. The purpose of this article is to show how journalists, newspaper editors, and public speakers lead with the important
information, all the while keeping the information brief and focused.
How do journalists keep a news story focused? The Inverted Triangle or Pyramid is used. Supposedly, this concept goes back to the times
when news stories were sent over the telegraph; since each character cost money, stories had to be concise and precise.
"The conventions of the inverted pyramid require the reporter to summarize the story, to get to the heart, to the point, to sum up quickly and concisely
the answer to the questions: What's the news? . . . It states the thesis and then provides supporting material." — Chip Scanlon
(http://www.poynter.org/how-tos/newsgathering-storytelling/chip-on-your-shoulder/12754/writing-from-the-top-down-pros-and-cons-of-theinverted-pyramid/)
How does this affect résumés and cover letters? First, by
using the inverted triangle (see Figure 1) the writer has a method for prioritizing what will be presented to the reader.
This means that in a cover letter the writer wants to address
the reader directly, focusing on the writer's solutions to the
reader's problems. This requires a great deal of thought and
is a painstaking process. With newspapers, radio, and television there are a number of people involved in the process of
making a story readable: the reporter, the copy editor, even
the compositor. In addition, unless the article is a feature
such as this, the news story may not fit in what is called the
"news hole," the column space which contains the story. By
using the inverted triangle, editors can cut from the bottom,
where the information is least important.
Obviously, you are not writing for publication, at least when
sending a résumé and cover letter to a prospective employer.
However, you should fit as much important information at
the start (what journalists call the "Lede" [pronounced
"leed"]) to make the reader want to spend additional time on
what you've written. In addition, while you may not have the
luxury of (or the budget for) newspaper editors, you can have
someone read what you've written; these fresh eyes may see
things that you've missed or suggest changes to the prioritizing.
Draw the reader into your story, your résumé, your cover
letter, even your speaking engagement by focusing your story
in decreasing items of importance; the most important items
come first. Use the inverted triangle to assist you (some journalists today think it is out-dated, but as many, if not more, are quite happy
with this concept). Get fresh eyes to review what you've done. Use an eye-catching headline.
Good luck and good writing . Click on Figure 1 to get a downloadable PDF of the inverted triangle.

Page 4
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
Lamplighter Crossword August-September, 2011
Across
1 Well-heeled hero (8)
3 A whisper (8)
7 One who set's a liar's pants on fire (10)
9 New type of computing; nimbus or cumulus (5)
11 Exchange beneficial to all parties (5)
12 What the highest bidder does (6)
14 An expensive way to gain control of a company (6)
19 Device for extreme haircuts (10)
20 Obligation or tax (4)
22 Sideways move or pass (7)
23 Going back and forth on a bicycle (7)
25 A very hasty retreat (10)
26 Mike Hammer was one (6)
Down
2 Acceptable loss for retailers (9)
3 Extreme negotiating tool (6)
4 Proper term for one who sucks up to the boss (9)
5 A bay in Scandinavia or a mispronounced car (5)
6 When the big wheel at the fair oxidizes (4)
7 Heaven or what a crapshooter rolls (8)
8 Used in candles (6)
10 What happened to Grant Williams in the movie (9)
13 Big wind or a type of fence (7)
14 Left by ballplayer who never gets into a game (9)
15 A type of suit (5)
16 Owned objects or real estate (8)
17 Modern slang for "That's true!" (4)
18 The study of Existence (8)
21 A subversive or something in the ground (5)
24 Johnny, folding, or ready (4)
25 Another name for résumé (2)
Tip #409:
Short writing can be effective if you know your objective, watch your words, set a deliberate pace
and tone and engage with your audience.
Source: Poynter.org
Page 5
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
Aaron Cohen
founded the Central New Jersey Networking
Group in October 2008 on behalf of the Empowering Today’s Professionals (ETP) Network, and coordinates monthly meetings with
his wife, Laura Cohen.
Aaron Cohen is a technical executive consultant who has over
30 years experience managing engagements and teams implementing all manner of Information Technology initiatives. His
experience spans software development, business continuity,
strategic planning, security and
IT policy and methodology
best practices. Aaron's industry experience includes financial services, consulting, nonprofit and telecom. He is currently consulting with several
financial services companies
and non-profit organizations.
.
Aaron's community leadership
includes past posts as President of the YM-YWHA of
Union County in Union NJ,
and as co-president (with his
wife Laura) of Temple Beth-El
Mekor Chayim in Cranford,
NJ. He continues to serve on
both organizations‘ Boards of
Trustees.
He holds Master‘s and Bachelor‘s degrees in Computer
Science from Brown University.
Principal - Small Company CTO
908 759-9069
Aaron.s.cohen@verizon.net
Http://www.linkedin.com/in/aaronscohen
Laura Cohen is a financial professional who has been a cre-
dit executive since 1979; and as a Senior Credit Analyst at Hewlett-Packard Financial Services since 1999, where she received
the 2007 Living Legend award in recognition of exceptional
work-related contributions She is an underwriter for global
leasing transactions to enterprise clients.
Laura has an impressive array of several civic affiliations and
recognitions:
 Served as co-president
of Temple Beth- El Mekor Chayim
in Cranford, NJ. She is currently a board member.
 Served as Treasurer of
the Executive Board of the
YMYWHA of Union County in
Union, NJ. She is currently a
member of the Board of Trustees. She was awarded the 2011
YMYWHA President‘s Award
for exemplary service.
 Currently a member
of the Board of Trustees and
the Distribution Committee
Chair for the Endowment Foundation of the Jewish Federation of Central, NJ. Recipient of the Jewish
Federation‘s Young Leadership
Award.
 Top Fundraiser for
the National Multiple Sclerosis
Society, Greater North Jersey
Chapter. Recipient of the Mission Possible Award. Founder
and present captain of the #1
ranked Walk MS team ―The Mitzvah Squad‖ since
2002.
Laura coordinates the Central New Jersey Networking group with
her husband Aaron on behalf of the ETP Network.
centralnjnetworkinggroup@gmail.com
She holds an MBA in Finance from Rutgers Graduate School of
Management, and BA in Management from Simmons College.
http://www.linkedin.com/in/lauraabrahamscohen
laura.cohen@hp.com
Senior Credit Analyst
Hewlett Packard Financial Services Company
908 898-4554
http://www.linkedin.com/in/lauraabrahamscohen
laura.cohen@hp.com
Senior Credit Analyst
Hewlett Packard Financial Services Company
908 898-4554
Page 6
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
“Chip Hartman has put together another instant classic article in support of managing your career as a business. Core
to being the CEO of ME, Inc. is having a powerful brand.
LinkedIn is the tool and vehicle to get your brand and message out and Chip has put a winner with his “15 Great Tips
for Optimizing Your LinkedIn Profile”. There is no one better.” Chip – Bravo!!! - - - Rod Colon
15 Great Tips for Optimizing
Your LinkedIn Profile
By Chip Hartman
To all LinkedIn friends:
I just completed a slide deck that compiles some of the
best tips for optimizing LinkedIn Profiles … from LinkedIn experts and thought leaders all around the world.
Please click this link
(http://www.meridiasystems.com/docs/linke
d-in-presentation.pdf) to download your complimentary copy of Turbocharge Your LinkedIn Profile
(16:9 widescreen PDF format, print-enabled).
Alternatively, you may download the document from
the link on the MeridiaSystems.com web site
http://www.meridiasystems.com in the lower
left corner of the page.
Finding People on LinkedIn & emailing directly,
How to Find Emails (Lavie Margolin)
Recently completed your Masters Degree in industrial/organizational psychology and searching for people that work
in the field?
LinkedIn is a great resource for finding people that could be
helpful to your career (or any career for that matter). How to best
contact them?
If someone can help you to facilitate a connection (you know
someone who knows someone in the field), it would be best if
your contact facilitates an introduction.
See the full article here:
Best regards,
Chip Hartman
MeridiaSystems.com, LLC
Integrated Writing & Visual Services
973.331.0948 (Tel)
862.207.9504 (Cell)
973.331.0937 (Fax)
http://www.meridiasystems.com
http://www.wintherace21.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/chiphartman
chip@meridiasystems.com
POWERFUL - POLISHED - PROFESSIONAL
http://www.lioncubjobsearch.com/2011/07/finding-people-onlinkedin-emailing.html
Thanks Eric for the great info... More info for newbie graduates
on the market.
Have a tech tip to share?
Email me (bndaisak@verizon.net) and we will publish it in
upcoming issues.
Your posts are always welcomed! Check our next issue for another great Tech Tip!
Sometimes the greatest motivator is when
someone tells you . . . you can't do it.
Hilton Johnson
MLMCoach
Copyright 2008 MLMU. All Rights Reserved. Duplication permitted only with copyright,
content, and subscription details unaltered.
Page 7
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
Learn the Rules.
Then Make Them Work For You.
As part of the orientation process, Human Resources provides
an Employee Manual. These manuals are sometimes small booklets. Others are large books. The employee manual provides us
with our entitlements, while protecting the organization with a
formulated structure. This document basically becomes the rule
book we live by during each work day. It is also the manager's
basic guide to shepherding the team.
What about the unwritten rules? These are the rules people
are led to believe but they are not allowed to try or implement. We encounter these unspoken rules every day, yet they
are not in the employee manual. The very cool thing is that we
can make these unspoken rules work to our advantage. It's a
matter of re-engineering our perspective. Gifford Pinchot
touched on some these unwritten rules with "Intrapreneur's 10
Commandments".
The unwritten rules constantly change, as situations or individuals guide their creation. Savvy Intrapreneurs learn how to make
both the written and unwritten rules work for them and people
on their team. Can you
find the page, in the
employee manual,
where the following
rules are written?
Where does it say we can ask for a raise any time you want?
Where does it say we can't ask for a raise every 3 months? How
about asking for a raise 4-6 months after our last raise?
Where does it say we can't create winning situations with our
team by utilizing the 10 Rules of Office Engagement?
Where does it say we can politely and professionally terminate a
conversation with our manager or coworker, if s/he decides to
throw a screaming and yelling temper tantrum? As human beings, we are each entitled to be treated with mutual respect.
Where does it say we ALL have the potential to excel and get the
keys to the executive bathroom?
Where does it say we should use every opportunity to market
ourselves throughout the organization?
Where does it say we can give ourselves a raise any time we
want?
Where does it say we should encourage our manager as much as
they support us? Even a manager likes to know if his team values
him.
subjective. Maybe it's not us. It's them.
Where does it say we should allow coworkers to make their issues our issues? If someone creates a situation, we can assist
them with a resolution. That person must understand they own
that issue, not you.
Where does it say office bullies are actually masking a lack of
confidence?
Where does it say all our dreams should be tied to one source of
income? Why can't we create multiple sources of income?
Where does it say we cannot run our career as a profitable
business?
Where does it say we cannot print those emails where people say
nice things about the service we provided and have Human Resources place them in our employee folder?
Where does it say if we take all our vacation, personal and sick
days that we are entitled to, it may work against us at our yearly
review?
Where does it say we
can request an assessment of our performance every 3 months,
from our manager?
This would allow us to
make adjustments, to improve our performance. It is an injustice
to ourselves if we wait 12 months to get dropped down 15
flights of stairs because our manager has not been dissatisfied
with our performance.
Where does it say that by being assertive with people up and
down the corporate food chain, we can achieve their respect,
even if they do not like us personally?
Where does it say we are paid to tell our manager what we think
they would want to hear, instead of the real answer, just because
we are afraid of rocking the boat? Where does it say we are supposed to be in constant fear of being fired? Where does it say
that by providing our manager with honest and accurate information, it allows him to make better informed business decisions? The latter of the two (2) rules allows us, our team and the
company to be more successful.
By now, I'm sure we can start thinking of some other rules that
insure OUR SUCCESS. These unwritten rules are in constant
play all the time. There are way more unwritten rules than
there are published rules. Can we identify them as they manifest themselves?
Where does it say that we should take it personally, if our manager beats us up on a task "they feel" is not done well? The task
is being attacked, not us. Feeling confident that we did the best
we could is all that counts. Other people judging us are purely
Page 8
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
Awareness Corner
The Red Marbles
Author unknown
During the waning years of the depression in a small south eastern Idaho community, I used to stop by Brother Miller‘s roadside stand for farm-fresh produce as the season made it available. Food and money were still extremely scarce and bartering
was used, extensively. One particular day Brother Miller was
bagging some early potatoes for me. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily appraising a
basket of freshly picked green peas. I paid for my potatoes but
was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.
Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation
between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to
me.
'Hello Barry, how are you today?'
"H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They
sure look good."
"They are good, Barry. How's your
Ma?"
"Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time."
"Good. Anything I can help you
with?"
"No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas."
"Would you like to take some
home?" asked Mr. Miller.
"No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with."
"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?"
"All I got's my prize marble here."
"Is that right? Let me see it," said Miller.
"Here 'tis. She's a dandy."
"I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I
sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?" the
store owner asked.
"Not zackley but almost."
"Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller."
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help
me.
With a smile she said, "There are two other boys like him in our
community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just
loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever.
"When they come back with their red marbles, and they always
do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them
home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange
one, when they come on their next trip to the store."
I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A
short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the
story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.
Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one.
Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had
died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing
my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon
arrival at the mortuary we fell into line
to meet the relatives of the deceased
and to offer whatever words of comfort
we could.
Ahead of us in line were three young
men. One was in an army uniform and
the other two wore nice haircuts, dark
suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs.
Miller, standing composed and smiling
by her husband's casket.
Each of the young men hugged her,
kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly
with her and moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes
followed them as, one by one; each young man stopped briefly
and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the
casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.
Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and
reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what
she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With
her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.
"Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you
about.
(Continued on next page)
"Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next
trip this way let me look at that red marble," Mr. Miller told the
boy.
Page 9
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
(Continued from previous page)
"They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim
'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his
mind about color or size...they came to pay their debt."
"We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,'
she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the
richest man in Idaho."
With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her
deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely
shined red marbles.
The Moral:
We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life
is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take
our breath.
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER, BUT WHAT YOU
SCATTER THAT TELLS WHAT KIND OF LIFE
YOU HAVE LIVED
Congratulations to
ETP Professional members —
Beatrice Block, Hsuan-Yu Pan, and
Paul Rosenthal
for landing safely!!!
[reply to] From: <blockb@aol.com>
Date: Tue, Jul 19, 2011 at 12:23 PM
Subject: Good news - re: Beatrice Block
Hi All,
Finally....I've landed! And not just in a temporary contract
position either. Well, it is a contract to hire, but you know
when you are talking with someone that you've connected
and are "on the same wavelength," you know when it's real.
Three months to hire...as a regular gov't employee. This is
for the Merchant Marine Academy. I will do what I do
best...IT Security. And best of all, this will benefit Homeland
Security. Not to be patriotic or anything, but this is a good
thing for everyone. I might even be training some new recruits as well. While I never thought about working for the
gov't maybe this is the right place to be considering the financial industry right now (where I've been since the start of
my career).
I want to thank everyone, EVERYONE, for their support
and encouragement. Kudos to Rod and Carl. And to the
guys at the Breakfast Club. And to the Manhattan Networking Group, and....I could go on and on.
I've learned so much. And even when I thought I was close,
things happened (as Rod would warn).
I still plan to show up to networking events. If I've learned anything, it's that learning, and growing and networking is essential.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Beatrice
PS If nothing else, keep on doing what is advised and keep improving and learning and growing. Networking is the way to go.
On 07/08/11, Hsuan-Yu Pan<hypannet@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hi Rod,
Just want to update my current job searching result. I got a
freelance tv producer position at Bric Arts Media last month.
Thank you so much for the strategy and the mentors have been
helping me a lot.
I am very happy about it because it is my first official TV job.
My academic background is not related to tv/film productions
so it took me very long time to achieve the goal. I have been
networking for many years in the industry. I followed your
strategy to prepare my value proposition and the mentions
helped me adjust it. I also tried to find people in the network
though I wasn't sure if this part worked in my case this time.
However, I am sure my value proposition totally fits their need.
One thing I have to be honest is that they actually were looking
for a full time employee but I didn't know the main software
they use in the company. Instead, they gave me a freelance job
which I can use different software to complete the work. However, I am learning the new software now to expand my future
opportunities. I am still looking for better opportunities.
Hope all is well. Thanks again.
Hsuan-Yu Pan
http://panvideo.info
From: prosenthh@comcast.net
Date: Thu, 14 Jul 2011 02:42:35
Subject: I've Landed!!!
Hello Everybody,
Yes, it's true!! I've been working since June 6 as a consultant for
FINRA, the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority. For those
who aren't familiar with the securities industry, FINRA is a notfor-profit financial industry watchdog, basically protecting investors and making sure securities firms play by the rules.
I'm doing software QA, checking the validity of various daily,
weekly, monthly, and quarterly reports, which spotlight anomalies
in stock, bond, and options trades that would be passed on to surveillance personnel for further investigation. In other words, in a
(Continued on next page)
Page 10
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
(Continued from previous page)
small way I'm helping to ensure the bad guys get caught.
I didn't want to say anything until at least one month went by, so
both FINRA and I would know it was a good fit. The contract is
for six months so far, but obviously I'm hoping for more. I can't
say any one person, any one advocate, or any one piece of advice
or training helped me land, but just creating the mind set of ME,
Inc. was enough to help me stay on target.
Our Information Exchange keeps PROFESSIONAL,
STUDENT and BASIC Members connected. Ask and Answer
Questions. Get Connected. Share articles and ideas. You may
also share job openings with other members.
Directions For Using ETP Exchange
To start a conversation send email to
Exchange@lists.etpnetwork.org
1.
The only pearl of wisdom I can offer is, know what your strengths
are and what you want to do with them, and never give up. I'd be
happy to talk with anyone who needs a gentle push (or maybe not
so gentle). Follow the seven steps, and stay positive!!!
2.
Paul Rosenthal
732-613-3813 (Home)
732-266-2701 (Cell)
prosenthh@comcast.net (E-mail)
http://www.linkedin.com/in/paulallanrosenthal (LinkedIn Profile)
3.
4.
You can Unsubscribe from the ETP Exchange, by
scrolling to the bottom of any email received. If you
have a smart phone (i.e. iPhone, Blackberry, Android
etc.), the unsubscribe link may be embedded as an attachment within an email.
Change your email address, password or preferences by
visiting
http://lists.etpnetwork.org/lists/info/exchange before you can login click on Request Password in
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which you can change. Once you login you can . . .
Adjust Subscriber Options: Change EXCHANGE
settings to either receive individual emails or a digest of
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be set for the EXCHANGE list.
Adjust Your Preferences: (top of screen) to change
your name, email address and password. Any updates
you make will affect all ETP group lists to which you
are subscribed.
Terms of Use with Empowering Today's Professionals
Communications
All ETP members are expected to:
1.
2.
Are you an ETP Member who has safely landed
a job in the last 6 months? Please share the
good news with members at
Exchange@lists.etpnetwork.org
If you are a full or part time entrepreneur with
new clients, that is also good news to share.
Share your business success stories. Have you
recently shared ETP techniques with a friend?
Now that's more good news.
3.
4.
5.
Send emails using a professional business posture.
Keep emails relevant to the topics of "job search",
"career management" or being a business owner
as the "CEO of ME, Inc."
Keep the "Subject" line relevant to the topic included
in the email main body message.
Act in good faith, honestly, professionally and ethically. In other words, only send emails you would be
proud to have your mother read.
Have a giving attitude in sharing resources, knowledge
and skills with other members.
Share job opening leads from personally known recruiters, hiring managers or associates with whom you are willing to put
your credibility on the line in making a warm trusted connection.
Sharing good news is always better than
watching TV.
Page 11
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
ETP Membership
Click here to review all recently updated member benefits.
Member Services is always concerned about member benefits education. Running your career as a business, by being the CEO
of ME, Inc., means being able to make informed decisions. All ETP membership levels have advantages. Based on your personal situation and budget, you have the choice to upgrade / downgrade your membership level. Key benefits of membership
levels is provided below.
Basic Membership
Administrative Fee: No cost with renewal required every 30 days.
Maybe you want an introductory orientation to ETP or your personal situation has changed.
Key benefits:
 Newsletter
 Access to audio/video training library
 Listing in member directory
 Web browser app toolbar
Check out Empowering Todays
 LinkedIn ETP group access
Professionals (ETP)
 Free registration to ETP training sessions / webinars
Professional / Student Membership
Administrative Fee: 22 cents / 11 cents a day for 1 year.
Maybe you're in transition or landed a job. You recognize smart professionals
continue to stay connected to a warm trusted network. Maybe you just want to
keep your finger on the pulse for "market demand" of your skills. A willing
support network facilitates making a move at any time. This strategically positions you to keep your options open.
Key benefits:
 All Basic Member benefits
 Smart Radar subscription
 Resume review gets to "Interview" phase faster
 ETP Angel company insider connections
 Send emails to EXCHANGE@lists.etpnetwork.org to ask for help,
submit job search questions or share information / job openings
 Full access to member directory
 Access to ETP leadership
Running the Business of "ME"
---Empowering Today's Professionals Member Services
Have a question? Membership@etpnetwork.org
ETP Network communities:
Hi,
Empowering Todays Professionals
(ETP) is inviting you to join
Facebook.
Once you join, you'll be able to
connect with the Empowering
Todays Professionals (ETP) Page,
along with people you care
about and other things that
interest you.
Thanks,
Empowering Todays Professionals
(ETP)
To sign up for Facebook, follow
the link below:
http://facebook.com/ETPnetwork
Watch video trailer Win the Race for 21st Century Jobs by Rod Colon
View benefits brochure
Page 12
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
Excerpt from Win the Race for 21st Century Jobs
Author: - Rod Colón
Co-Author: – Chip Hartman
It‘s time to make some visual comparisons between the old-style ―employee‖ mind set and the new ―CEO of ME,
Inc.‖ mind-set. The following chart gives you a good idea of how the two approaches stack up:
Old Employee Approach
Job Search.
Network only when you need a job. Then wonder why it takes so long to land a position.
Prepare your resume.
Initial interview.
Interviewer asks questions to find out why they
should hire you.
You are placed in the beggar’s seat and asked
what salary you are looking for.
Interviewer wraps up interview.
Salary & Benefits Offer.
New CEO of ME, Inc. Approach
Market your skills to create and stay open to multiple opportunities.
Keep many options available.
Constantly market and network inside and outside your organization.
Reach out to your network and find 1 opportunity per day.
Prepare a proposal to present skills/benefits that pass the “20 second”
acid test. Always carry your business cards.
Business meeting with a potential client.
Ask questions to identify the client’s business requirements. Client answers determine whether or not you would work for them.
“What is this position budgeted for?” or “I would consider any reasonable offer between (give your range), not a specific amount.” (Places
you in the driver’s seat.)
You go for the gusto with a killer close to make a memorable impression on the client. Close by summarizing your 3 best skills that match
the client’s needs. “I would like to give you 3 reasons why I am the best
resource for this position, out of any person you have interview or will
interview.”
Negotiation. Everything is potentially negotiable. Then compromise at
the negotiation table. Always wait until the next day to accept offer.
At a minimum say, “Is this the best that you can do?”
The Secret To Having Employment For Life
By
Rod Colón
To schedule a private coaching session email: Tony@RodColon.com
In his book The World is Flat, (copyright © 2005 by Farrar, Straus, & Giroux) New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman presents a view of the future in which evolving technologies will level the playing field for business owners worldwide.
Traditional corporate hierarchies will likely be replaced by highly specialized online communities sharing similar business
interests.
According to Friedman, to survive in this ever-flattening world, individuals must diversify their skills so that they remain
viable competitors across many different careers. Those who do, those who attain a level of specialization that cannot be
outsourced are, he claims, "untouchable." So if you want job security, join their ranks. Become an ―untouchable" now. And
if you don't? The fallout from such dramatic technological change may mean that those who haven't kept pace will lose their
place in the race for 21st century jobs.
Individuals who have learned to manage their careers as a business will be well-positioned to deal with whatever comes their
way. Those who don‘t may well find themselves swallowed up in the connectionless void of The Black Hole.
Rod Colón
Speaker, Author, Career Coach
Weekly Co-Host of Radio Show "YOUR CAREER IS CALLING".
732-367-5580
Job search training videos in Media Room at www.RodColon.com
View Rod Colon ABC-TV Interview Sharing Job Search Tips
Connect with Rod: Facebook LinkedIn Twitter YouTube
Subscribe to Rod's blog - Read Rod's latest article
Video Trailer of Rod Colon's New Book
This video was developed by Chip Hartman of MeridiaSystems.com, voice over narration done by John
Monte and the producer was Rod Colon.
Video project manager, Carl E. Reid.
Page 13
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
Eight Core Networking Guidelines
Here is my latest article to help manage your career as
the CEO of ME, Inc.
8 Core Networking Guidelines 2011-05-31
17:18:56.899-04
You need to be sure to observe the following guidelines
in all of your networking endeavors:
1. Never think about making connections because
of what you believe others can do for you; approach
it in terms of what you can do to support the goals
of others.
2. Never try to use networking as a means of asking for employment. Instead, use networking to ask
for advice, guidance, or suggestions for what some
next steps might be given your particular situation.
3. If you are placed in the role of a connector (i.e.,
you will, at someone’s request, be asked to connect
person ―A with person ―B), make sure you understand the requestor’s value proposition, i.e., what it
is that they bring to the table for the benefit of the
relationship. If you believe their value proposition
is weak or inadequate, politely decline the request
to make the connection on the grounds that you, as
the connector, have the most to lose if the relationship doesn’t work out well.
4. Get comfortable with small talk; you’ll need it to
grease the wheels of first-time connections.
5. Carefully manage the trusted networks you
build. Treat each relationship as if it’s the most
important link in your chain. Ping your network
regularly.
6. Follow up or fail. Soon you’ll be thinking of your
career as a business owner (the CEO of ME, Inc.),
and so this is now a ―corporate responsibility‖, not
an idle task on a ― "to do" list.
7. Build your network before you need it. Never
become complacent; when you find yourself in transition, have the network already in place to help
support you and guide you to your next position.
8. Networking (as part of the business of managing
your career) NEVER STOPS.
Best wishes and own your career,
Rod Colon
FREE 7 Step Job Search Mini Course
With the generous support of Brooklyn College Magner
Center for Career Development and Internships, I have
put together a 7 Step Job Search 7 Day Mini Course
video training program. This is ideal for students, recent
graduates and professionals who continue to struggle in
finding employment.
I want to thank the video Executive Producer Michael Sarrao, Video production specialists, Rashaunda Guy and
Christopher Washington for their work and support of our
mission. There is nothing to purchase. I am passing the
favor forward of having this educational video developed
pro bono, by giving away my 7 Step Job Search secrets to
the community.
View Video Now on My blog
Receive 3 FREE 7 Step Job Search Training Bonuses
to LAND a JOB.
Here's what you get with Rod Colon's FREE 7 Step
Job Search Mini Course:
BONUS #1: Immediate access to Video of Rod Colon
explaining the 7 Steps to turbo charge your job search
and land a job quicker.
You can reference the video over and over, as you
progress through each step.
BONUS #2: Get Rod's "7 Step Job Search" © Secrets.
This is the road map to success, which has inspired
thousands to land a job quicker.
BONUS #3: 7 DAY MINI COURSE - Each Day Rod Personally Guides you through the "7 Step Job Search" ©
Click here to start your FREE training now
Best wishes and own your career,
Rod Colón
Master Connector, Professional Development, Executive Coach, Speaker, Author
Weekly Co-Host of Radio Show "YOUR CAREER IS
CALLING".
732-367-5580
www.RodColon.com
Rod's 7-Step Job Search Video
Listen to “Your Career is Calling” Archives
View Rod Colon ABC-TV Interview Sharing Job
Search Tips
Connect with Rod: Facebook | LinkedIn | Twitter |
YouTube
Win the Race for 21st Century Jobs
Page 14
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
What does it take to be a "Good Networker?"
by Aida Rodriguez, PMP
What is a networker? A networker is a person who selectively promotes and maintains valuable relationships with people.
Networking is getting people to like you; and it's about being genuinely helpful.
How can you become a good networker? You should have or cultivate the following traits:

Generosity: Be generous with your time and with your attention when you are talking with someone. Think about
the needs of the person with whom you are speaking and be sincerely generous with the help you offer.

Faith: Believe in yourself and your ability to help the right kind of people. "Faith is trust, hope, and belief in the
goodness, trustworthiness, and reliability of a person."

Trust: Give something without expecting anything in return. This trust will be repaid in some unspecified way or at
some future time.

Optimism: Expect the best possible outcome from any given situation.
Think of these four traits as an acronym: GFTO, pronounced "Gift to."
Remember that being a good networker is one of the important keys to your personal and professional success.
Visit the Lamplighter Survey
Once again, the survey crews are out; this time, they hope
to get some hits. Help them by answering the 4 questions at
the Lamplighter Survey site.
Lamplighter has changed a great deal from Volume 1, Issue
1 and one of the reasons for these changes is the Lamplighter Survey.
Many successful people
became successful because someone
told them they would not be.
Hilton Johnson
MLMCoach
Copyright 2008 MLMU. All Rights Reserved. Duplication permitted
only with copyright, content, and subscription details unaltered.
If you like the issue, please let us know; if you've problems
with the issue the only way to correct them is to make them
known.
Take a minute to take the survey before we have to return
the equipment. ETP's Lamplighter Survey
Page 15
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
Lamplighter Contributors
Jerrold “Jerry” Clifford
Lamplighter Contributing Writer,
Project & Program Manager.
Published author of several technical and non-technical books on
topics ranging from computer
math to car repair and carpentry.
Aaron Cohen
Aaron is currently Chief Technology
Officer / Administrative Officer at
Financial Tracking Technologies,
CTO Consultant at Ehrenkranz And
Ehrenkranz, and Networking Group
Leader at Empowering Today’s
Professionals
(ETP). 908-759-9069
Rod Colon
Speaker, Author, Career Coach
Weekly Co-Host of Radio Show
"YOUR CAREER IS CALLING".
CEO and Founder of Empowering
Today's
Professionals: Running the Business of
"ME"
Career Solution Center: 732-367-5580 Job search
training videos in Media Room at
www.RodColon.com
Connect with Rod: Facebook LinkedIn Twitter
You-Tube Author of Win the Race for 21st Century
Jobs
Chip Hartman
CEO of MeridiaSystems.com, LLC, a company specializing in online marketing and
visual communications. As an employee of
AT&T Public Relations, he was part of the
team that designed and developed AT&T's
first intranet news portal, The InfoCenter@AT&T (SM) for which he won an NJ-IABC IRIS Award.
Chip is the Editor-in-Chief of ETP and co-author of the ETP’s
first book, Win The Race For 21st Century Jobs. Chip can be
reached at halhart@optonline.net
jrcpd@yahoo.com
Carl E. Reid, CSI
"Success Synergy thru Intrapreneur
Savvy, Human Capital and Tech
Strategy"
Author of "Foreword" in Win the
Race for 21st Century Jobs
Tel:201-222-5390" value="+12012225390" target="_blank">201-222-5390
Need a Facebook Business Page? or 1 Button Publishing Social Media Solutions
Connect with Carl:
Facebook
LinkedIn
Twitter
John Trojanowski
Sometime in his career, John
made a transition from a heating
and air conditioning service tech
to an IT professional. After a
rigorous training, he became a
mainframe programmer for 10
years. Later, he switched on to software testing programming. Currently, he is working in the ecommerce division of a large travel corporation.
Email:john.trojanowski@aol.com
YouTube
Amazon
Carl's latest article: Lessons Learned from My Yard Sale
SOCIAL MEDIA CLIENT SPOTLIGHT: Maoz New
Brunswick NJ
Page 16
Volume 3, Issue 4
August-September, 2011
Volunteer Lamplighter Staff
Adelaida (Aida) Rodriguez is the Editor-in-Chief and Contributing Writer
of the Lamplighter Newsletter. She is a Project Manager Professional
(PMP), Business Analyst/ Consultant at the Warranty Recovery Specialist, LLC
adelaida.rodriguez1@verizon.net
732-404-0255
Eric Nilsson is the Compositor and Contributing Writer for Lamplighter.
Eric enjoys the art and science of newspaper layout. Aside from being
an arms-length economist, he has been an IT consultant at the Professional Service Group of New Brunswick and previously worked for
North Jersey Media Group (Bergen Evening Record) as a Project Manager
and Programmer/Analyst. Email: ericnilsson@earthlink.net
Barbara Daisak is the Lamplighter Contributing Writer & Proofreader. In
addition, she is a Learning, Training, & Development Specialist and
Microsoft Certified Master Instructor.
Barb is also an Instructor Adjunct with the County Colleges of New Jersey with specialties in the Technology Training Divisions and Corporate
Training Programs.
Phone Numbers:732.863.4948 ― 732.616.2397-mobile
Email Barbara at: bndaisak@verizon.net
Lamplighter Crossword
Puzzle Solution
Across:
1 ACHILLES
3 SUSURRUS
7 PYROMANIAC
9 CLOUD
11 TRADE
12 OUTBID
14 BUYOUT
19 GUILLOTINE
20 DUTY
22 LATERAL
23 RECYCLE
25 CHARGEBACK
26 SHAMUS
Down:
2 SHRINKAGE
3 STRIKE
4 SYCOPHANT
5 FJORD
6 RUST
7 PARADISE
8 TALLOW
10 DOWNSIZED
13 CYCLONE
14 BENCHMARK
15 UNION
16 PROPERTY
17 WORD
18 ONTOLOGY
21 PLANT
24 CASH
25 CV
Page 17