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PERFORMING ON CUE SINCE 1992 COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY HUNTER CANNING VOLUME 25 | ISSUE 01 | JANUARY 7-13 , 2016 | FREE [2] WEEKLY ALIBI JANUARY 7-13, 2016 JANUARY 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [3] alibi VOLUME 25 | ISSUE 01 | JANUARY 7-13, 2016 EDITORIAL MANAGING EDITOR/COPY EDITOR: Renee Chavez (ext. 255) renee@alibi.com FILM EDITOR: Devin D. O’Leary (ext. 230) devin@alibi.com MUSIC EDITOR: August March (ext. 245) august@alibi.com STAFF WRITER: Maggie Grimason (ext. 239) maggie@alibi.com Joshua Lee (ext. 239) josh@alibi.com EDITORIAL INTERNS: Megan Reneau megan@alibi.com Cerridwen Stucky cerridwen@alibi.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Cecil Adams, Sam Adams, Steven Robert Allen, Gustavo Arellano, Robin Babb, Rob Brezsny, Shawna Brown, Suzanne Buck, Carolyn Carlson, Eric Castillo, Mark Fischer, Ari LeVaux, Ty Bannerman, August March, Genevieve Mueller, Geoffrey Plant, Benjamin Radford, Jeremy Shattuck, PRODUCTION ART DIRECTOR/PRODUCTION MANAGER: Archie Archuleta (ext. 240) archie@alibi.com EDITORIAL DESIGNER Robert Maestas (ext.256) robert@alibi.com ILLUSTRATOR/GRAPHIC DESIGNER: Tamara Sutton (ext.254) tamara@alibi.com STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: Eric Williams ewill23nm@gmail.com CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS: Ben Adams, Eva Avenue, Cutty Bage, Max Cannon, Michael Ellis, Adam Hansen, Jodie Herrera, KAZ, Jack Larson, Tom Nayder, Ryan North SALES SALES DIRECTOR: Sarah Bonneau (ext. 235) sarah@alibi.com SENIOR DISPLAY ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE: John Hankison (ext. 265) john@alibi.com ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES: Kittie Blackwell (ext. 224) kittie@alibi.com Rudy Carrillo (ext. 245) rudy@alibi.com Valerie Hollingsworth (ext. 263) valerie@alibi.com Sally Jackson (ext. 264) sally@alibi.com Dawn Lytle (ext. 258) dawn@alibi.com Tierna Unruh-Enos (ext. 248) tierna@alibi.com ADMINISTRATION CONTROLLER: Constance Moss (ext. 257) constance@alibi.com ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE : Courtney Foster (ext. 233) courtney@alibi.com FRONT DESK: Desiree Garcia (ext. 221) desiree@alibi.com Taylor Grabowsky (ext. 221) taylor@alibi.com EDITOR AND INTERIM PUBLISHER: Jesse Schulz (ext. 229) jesse@alibi.com SYSTEMS MANAGER: Kyle Silfer (ext. 242) kyle@alibi.com WEB MONKEY: John Millington (ext. 238) webmonkeys@alibi.com OWNERS, PUBLISHERS EMERITI: Christopher Johnson, Daniel Scott and Carl Petersen CIRCULATION CIRCULATION MANAGER: Geoffrey Plant (ext. 252) geoff@alibi.com INFORMATION PRINTER: The Santa Fe New Mexican IN LOVING MEMORY: Doug Albin, Martin Candelaria, Michael Henningsen, Eric Johnson, Greg Medara, Mina Yamashita INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER: Southwest Cyberport (232-7992) info@swcp.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING: VMG Advertising (888) 278-9866 www.vmgadvertising.com NUCITY PUBLICATIONS, INC. 413 Central NW, Albuquerque, New Mexico 87102 BUSINESS HOURS: 10AM–5PM MON–FRI PHONE: (505) 346-0660 FAX: (505) 256-9651 Alibi (ISSN 1088-0496) is published weekly 52 times per year. The content of this issue is Copyright © 2016 by NuCity Publications, Inc., and may not be reprinted in part or in whole without written consent of the publisher. All rights are reserved. One copy of each edition of Alibi is available free to county residents and visitors each week. Anyone caught removing papers in bulk will be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Yearly subscription $100, back issues are $3, Best of Burque is $5. Queries and manuscripts should include a self-addressed stamped envelope; Alibi assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material. Association of Alternative Newsmedia [4] WEEKLY ALIBI JANUARY 7-13, 2016 Letters should be sent with the writer’s name, address and daytime phone number via email to letters@alibi.com. They can also be faxed to (505) 256-9651. Letters may be edited for length and clarity, and may be published in any medium; we regret that owing to the volume of correspondence we cannot reply to every letter. Word count limit for letters is 300 words. Burque Needs to Feel the Bern Dear Alibi, Albuquerque, New Mexico and our entire nation have been presented with a grand opportunity. There is a once in a lifetime presidential candidate who is honest, has integrity and is motivated out of public service to our people. It is frankly amazing how in touch Senator Bernie Sanders is with the needs of our people: “Today, we stand here and say loudly and clearly that enough is enough. This great nation and its government belong to all of the people and not to a handful of billionaires, their super PACs and their lobbyists. ... Today, we live in the wealthiest nation in the history of the world but that reality means very little for most of us because almost all of that wealth is owned and controlled by a tiny handful of individuals. In America we now have more income and wealth inequality than any other major country on Earth, and the gap between the very rich and everyone else is wider than at any time since the 1920s. This issue of wealth and income inequality is the great moral issue of our time, it is the great economic issue of our time and it is the great political issue of our time. Let me be very clear. There is something profoundly wrong when the top one-tenth of 1 percent owns almost as much wealth as the bottom 90 percent and when 99 percent of all new income goes to the top 1 percent. There is something profoundly wrong when, in recent years, we have seen a proliferation of millionaires and billionaires at the same time as millions of Americans work longer hours for lower wages and we have the highest rate of childhood poverty of any major country on Earth. There is something profoundly wrong when one family owns more wealth than the bottom 130 million Americans. This grotesque level of inequality is immoral. It is bad economics. It is unsustainable. This type of rigged economy is not what America is supposed to be about. This has got to change and as your President, together we will change this.” Albuquerque don’t let this grandest of opportunities to elect an honest leader pass us by. As one of the poorest states in the union, we can’t afford to sit by passively and remain downtrodden. It is time to bring progress back to our people. Robert P Francis, activist. a Submit your letters to letters@alibi.com JANUARY 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [5] [6] WEEKLY ALIBI JANUARY 7-13, 2016 AND ODDS ENDS WEIRD NEWS The Worst Weird News of 2015 Dateline: Virginia (May) A 23-year-old man was arrested after he posted videos and pictures of himself robbing a bank on Instagram. Dominyk Antonio Alfonseca was arrested 22 minutes after he allegedly used a note to rob the TowneBank in Virginia Beach. That still gave him enough time to upload two videos and a photograph of the note he used to the internet. Alfonseca’s note read, “I need $150,000 bands right NOW!! Please. Police take 3 to 4 minutes to get here, I would appreciate if you Ring the alarm a minute after I am gone... make sure the money doesn’t blow up on my way out.” Alfonseca, who identifies himself as an aspiring rapper, told WTKR-TV in Hampton Roads that he did not rob the bank but merely asked “politely” for money. “I don’t know how I’m a robber because I asked for it,” said Alfonseca. “She could have said no, and I could have left.” Alfonseca also used the television interview to give shout-outs to Michelle Obama, Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga. Dateline: China (June) A man is suing well-known actress Zhao Wei because she “stared at him too intently” through his TV set. Zhao is one of China’s most famous movie stars and appears on the prime-time TV show “Tiger Mom,” about a strong-willed woman who pushes her daughter to do better in school. According to England’s Sky News, Shanghai Pudong New District Court’s litigation service hotline has confirmed it received a case against the actress under new laws that make it easier to file lawsuits. Since the laws were streamlined, Chinese courts have seen a 29 percent increase in the number of lawsuits. The Legal Daily newspaper said the man is alleging Zhao’s stare caused him “spiritual damage.” Dateline: Kentucky (August) A drunk man admitted trying to dig up his father’s grave—so that dear old dad could finally go to Heaven. Michael May is charged with violating a grave, possession of marijuana and public intoxication after he was found inside a graveyard at the Pilot Baptist Church south of Stanford. Late on the evening of Monday, Aug. 17, Lincoln County Constable Delbert Mitchell spotted May’s truck parked outside the church and went into the cemetery to investigate. “I went back and hollered for him to step back in the light, and he told me to step back to the dark. That’s when I went and got my flashlight. He started hollering out [Bible] verses at me,” Constable Mitchell told LEX-18 News. “He told me he was trying to dig his dad up, so his dad could go to Heaven.” Interviewed later at Lincoln County Jail by LEX-18 reporter Josh Breslow, May said he did not feel he was violating a grave. “I see the truth,” he told the reporter. “He needs to be on the ground, not under it.” May’s father died nearly four decades ago. Even though May was “under the influence” at the time of the incident, officials are worried he might try again. “It’s a possibility,” conceded May. “If the truth doesn’t come out and nobody sees the truth, yeah, I’ll do it again.” Dateline: South Carolina (October) According to police in Spartanburg, a man called 911 to complain his girlfriend would not have sex with him. Patrick Doggett, 53, called emergency services and told dispatchers his partner, Faye Woodruff, “would not give him any ass.” Officers responded to Doggett’s home in the early morning hours of Oct. 6. Doggett explained to officers he had been drinking all day and “didn’t know where he was at,” according to the police report. He is believed to have climbed into bed with Woodruff and requested sex, but Woodruff refused because her grandchild was present. “Fuck that bitch,” Doggett told officers. He was arrested for public intoxication and taken to the Spartanburg County Detention Center. Dateline: Florida (October) A 23-year-old woman was arrested after web-streaming her DUI live on the internet. Whitney Beall, left a party in Lakeland on the night of Oct. 9. According to police she was intoxicated and should not have been driving. They know this because Beall used her cell phone to live stream her drive home via broadcasting service Periscope. “I’m fucking drunk,” she declares on the broadcast, audibly slurring her words. She also notes several times that her vehicle has a flat tire. In a Facebook post, Lakeland PD says it “began receiving 911 calls from viewers of Periscope about a possible drunk driver using the social media app Periscope to broadcast herself.” The post goes on to note that, “as a result of the video being streamed worldwide, numerous text messages were sent to the driver asking her to stop driving before she killed someone or herself.” The Lakeland Police Department said it does not provide officers “access to Periscope as an authorized software tool,” but one officer used his personal account to locate the driver. Based on his observations, the officer eventually found Beall driving her 2015 Toyota—complete with flat front tire— eastbound on Carpenter’s Way. As the officer approached, Beall’s vehicle “abruptly hit the south curb with the right front tire/wheel.” The driver failed standardized field sobriety tests, refused to take a breathalyzer test and was arrested on charges of DUI. a Compiled by Devin D. O’Leary. Email your weird news to devin@alibi.com. JANUARY 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [7] NEWS | OP ED NEWS CITY BY AUGUST MARCH Toward a Peaceful Life in Burque BY AUGUST MARCH Marijuana Legalization Considered CYFD Housing Concerns The Children, Youth and Families Department here in New Mexico has raised concerns about the institutional buildings and offices meant to provide points of interface for children, some in CYFD custody, who are being serviced by the department. Sarah Palmer, a foster parent coordinator for the department, went on record with local media this week to express the department’s desire to provide more and better child-friendly environments for clients who have sometimes been severely traumatized as a leadup to their interations with the state agency. Leaders at CYFD propose creating a more “homelike space” to meet with and care for children who must work with CYFD through its Child Wellness Center. Such a site would also provide a means of centralizing services and office sites for the widely scattered programs, field offices and officials overseen by the state’s main child and youth oversight department. Currently, the agency is seeking proposals from local property owners interested in providing an amenable environment, after initial plans to buy the SunPort Corporate Center fell through recently. APD Reports a Surge in Crime A new set of statistics garnered by Albuquerque Police Department officials indicates that violent crime in Albuquerque grew over the previous year. According to those records, still preliminary as of this time, APD investigated 30 homicides in 2014. In 2015, the number of murders investigated was 46. Although there was an obvious increase, a look at violent crime data over the past several years reveals a wave-like trend where violent crime has surged and then ebbed. For instance, there were 56 reported homicides in 2009. According to published reports, the Mayor of Albuquerque, Richard Berry blames the recent rise in violent crime on the judiciary and on criminals who have been returned to the street after serving sentences that were perhaps too short or at least ineffective in their attempts at reform. a [8] WEEKLY ALIBI JANUARY 7-13, 2016 wanted to live in Albuquerque: At night would dream of this place. One night I dreamt of a river flowing out from the Sandias; another time of houses hidden in the steep canyons of those granite hills. Of course when my family really did move here in the middle of the 1970s I was surprised to find it was like any place on Earth—filled up with humans, their lives and constructions, bright and dark and complex. And we ended up living in the shadows of the mountains, near a school named after a mythical golden city, where it was mostly quiet. When I moved here, I felt like an outsider and so unsettled. I came from a place in the western desert where herds of sheep wandered through our front yard daily, but also where the effects of colonialism included intense poverty, domestic violence and drug abuse. The idylls available indulging urban life or its semblance stirred up a deep nervousness in me because I deeply hoped it would be otherwise in the Duke City, that the chaos and desperation I witnessed on the reservation would not be possible in the city of my dreams. Within three years, I was comfortable walking all over Albuquerque and having the time of my life. Other adolescents in my neighborhood compared notes, telling about how they had walked all the way to Old Town, had spoken to a long haired flower child at the truck stop by the Big I, had eaten lunch at a chichonerria somewhere on Isleta and so on and so forth. Besides an innocent sort youthful bourgeois wanderlust, the stories told shared at least one other aspect: No one was ever threatened or hurt on their sojourns. We came to take safety as a given, as part of the enchantment that was at the center of the myth of Burque. The 1980s came to pass and I enrolled at the University of New Mexico. I had great hopes and plans and so did the city. Nob Hill revitalized, plans were made to remake a languishing Downtown as new residents poured into the city from all over the country and outside it too. As the millennium approached, violence took up residence hereabouts. Where it came from is an issue unto itself. It might be the violence came from a lackluster economy or economic inequality; maybe its fearful specter is based in ignorance and the inability of the state to provide its citizens with a decent education; or it could just be a part of human nature. Whatever the hell the causes are, it is surely tearing a dangerously ragged hole in the I ILLO BY TAMARA SUTTON As the 2016 New Mexico legislative session looms on the horizon, efforts are already underway to revisit the legalization of marijuana in the state. A state representative from Las Cruces, Bill McCamely, has already prefiled a bill that would make the herb legal for 21+ users. McCamely’s legislative action, HB 75, would allow adult users to purchase and possess cannabis. The bill, titled the “Cannabis Revenue and Freedom Act,” would provide for the legal use of cannabis while also making sure said usage is properly monitored and regulated by the state. McCamely wrote the bill specifically to address the inherent problems of prohibition while also providing means for the state and its citizens to benefit from marijuana. Further, the piece of legislation specifies that one of the main reasons for legalization is based on the premise that local and state law enforcement has better things to do, stating that an end to illegal cannabis would help with “prioritizing the state’s limited law enforcement resources in the most effective, consistent and rational way.” fabric of what Burqueños expect their city to be. Stopping it is going to take a hell of a lot more than some aging hipster singing to the converts from atop a plastic soap box. But just like the optimistic kid I told you about at the beginning, I really want to live here. So, I hope that talking about it, beginning a dialogue, is a good step toward that peaceful goal. Engendering a culture and devising and implementing policies that eschew violence and promote peace should be the goals of individual citizens as well as the government. About a year ago, the FBI released a set of statistics that showed how our state was number two in terms of violent crime. Alaska was number one. The same report detailed trends in Albuquerque too: The rate of violent crime here was twice the national average in 2013. This sort of documented disorder didn’t happen overnight and Albuquerque wasn’t perfect when I was growing up here. But it sure feels like the place began a downward spriral, even as I ascended at college and began my professional life in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. Some of the local events that occurred at this critical juncture of my life lent credence to that theory. Linda Lee Daniels was kidnapped from her front yard—east of Tramway—in 1986. The stepson of a local, well-known baker organized the sordid crime that led to her death. In March of 1988, Carlos “the ragman” Garver, a well-known local eccentric and street-dweller, was set on fire, killed by unknown assailants as he slept behind the Lobo Campus Pharmacy near Central and Yale. This sort of senseless violence continued in the 1990s even while the city’s economy improved in fits and starts during the Baca and Chavez administrations. In May of 1994, 22-year-old Lisa Wortman —a member of Burque’s nascent EDM scene— disappeared. Her body was discovered in a sewer by the University of New Mexico Basketball Arena a month later. No one has ever been charged in her death either; APD reports that the last credible tip in the case came in 2006. In the current century our burg’s proclivity toward seemingly random yet brutal humanon-human violence seems to have accelerated. 2014 saw the death of two sleeping Navajo men at the hands of three South Valley youths. In the year that just passed, a four year old was killed during an incident of road rage. The day after the Christmas that just passed, a retired Sandia Labs technician was knifed to death outside his home in Four Hills and so on and so forth. The police force in this city is understaffed, overworked and having trouble adapting to a community service model after having been in siege mode since the murder of two officers and two civilians by a mentally ill individual named John Hyde in 2005. Public health services, especially mental health services are lacking in this city and state. Funds have been developed by the city to transform the Convention Center into a world class sports arena but there is still a sad, sick, hungry and frustrated group of humans drifting through Downtown constantly. I could go on and on, but like I said, enough is enough. I don’t want to dream about what a fantastic place Albuquerque could be; I want to live in the place that I expect our town to become: diverse, growing and ultimately, safe and peaceful. Discuss. a JANUARY 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [9] [10] WEEKLY ALIBI JANUARY 7-13, 2016 OPINION | ¡ASK A MEXICAN! Special Hollywood Cholo Edicion BY GUSTAVO ARELLANO ear Mexican: I’ve been following a show called You’re The Worst since it started showing on FX last year. Among other things, it features a character named Edgar Quintero, an awkward and troubled Iraq War veteran who happens to be Mexican-American. I think this must be the only such character regularly featured in series television these days. My only issue with the character is that, though he is well handled, the actor who plays him is obviously from back East. Non-MexicanAmerican actors have been playing Mexican-American characters, sometimes quite well, for decades. In this case, Desmin Borges has a Puerto Rican background, and I don’t consider that a problem in and of itself. But I have a big problem if they talk like they are from New York or Chicago. The language of those of us out west, Latino and otherwise, is different, and we rarely see this acknowledged on television or in movies. Nonetheless, I love the show and he is certainly my favorite character. At any rate, I wanted to know if you had an opinion about this character and his portrayal. D —Television Reconquista Dear Gabacho: You gotta get your Borges background right. He’s part Puerto Rican, born in Chicago, raised in Houston, lives in NYC and works on a show based in LA—as jumbled a cultural history as that of any Mexican. You’re the Worst is funny, and Borges’ character is great in that he’s just a guy—not a Mexican, not a Puerto Rican playing a Mexican, but a guy who happens to be Mexican. I can’t state how revolutionary that is, in an industry that still writes Mexican men as little better than cholos and narcos. And while it’d be cool if a Chicano from City Terrace played Edgar Quintero and made him talk like a Chicano from City Terrace, it sure is better than Douglas Fairbanks playing Zorro—or, hell, Hillary Clinton pretending to be an abuela. Dear Mexican: Why can’t second and thirdgeneration Mexicans just chill? The reason I ask is because lately, there’s been more cholos infiltrating the Colorado River, and although there’s plenty of room for them, they always get all stabby or start fights. I’ve been going there for years and love it because everyone’s pretty much drunk and happy …except for the cholos. What’s up with that? Could it be that the Indian in them gets crazy with hard liquor? Or is that just with American Indians? —La Coconut Dear Pocha: Cholos fight because they’re cholos, just like bros fight at Lake Havasu because they’re bros. You can no more hate a cholo or bro for fighting than you can hate Donald Trump for being dumb—it’s who they are. The problem, of course, is when said cholos or bros or Trump fuck it up for everyone else. The solution? Place them all on a houseboat and let them sort it out—someone greenlight THAT show! a Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net. Be his fan on Facebook. Follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him on Instagram @gustavo_arellano! JANUARY 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [11] EVENT | PREVIEWS FRIDAY JAN 8 Pro or Con? Albuquerque Convention Center 401 Second Street NW alibi.com/e/170480 4pm ALBUQUERQUE COMIC CON VIA FACEBOOK Albuquerque Comic Con returns with a “preview night” allowing visitors to see all the vendors and check out what’s in store for the weekend. Events run 10am to 8pm on Friday and 10am to 6pm on Sunday. Buy all the comic books, posters, videos, photos, costume accessories, toys, video games, etc. that your fanboy or fangirl heart desires. Then, stick around for the panel discussions and autograph sessions. Bigname comic industry guests include Mike Zeck (who shepherded The Punisher to stardom in the ’80s) Neal Adams (of ’70s Green Lantern/Green Arrow fame) and “Grendel” writer/artist/creator Matt Wagner. Movie and TV guests include Hellboy himself Ron Perlman, Nichelle Nichols from “Star Trek,” Peter Mayhew from Star Wars and voice actor Jim Cummings (“Darkwing Duck,” “Star Wars: The Clone Wars,” “My Friends Tigger and Pooh”). (Devin D. O’Leary) a The King is in the Building SATURDAY JAN 9 Isleta Resort & Casino: The Showroom 11000 Broadway SE alibi.com/e/172430 8pm Elvis is the king. Elvis has a posse. Many of them look and sound surprising like the dude, too. Since the death of the high lord of rocanrol nearly 40 years ago, his cult has waxed, waned and then, much like the singer himself in latter days, grown back thick and formidable like a winter plant warmed by greenhouse glass and fed with a nutritious combination of nostalgia, shaking hips and a snarly sneer. Anyway, Elvis impersonators also rise and fall. Next in line for the throne is Justin Shandor, who bills himself as the “Ultimate Elvis.” He gained the title under the auspices of the King’s representatives themselves: In 2010, Elvis Presley Enterprises (the folks that run Graceland in his holiness’ absence) named Shandor the number one Elvis tribute entity in the world. Shandor’s on tour with an impressively learned 10-piece band, at least a few white sequined jump suits and a repertoire that knowingly spans Elvis’ storied career. He’ll demonstrate his prowess portraying Presley on Friday, Jan. 8, at 8pm. Admission ranges between $15-25. (August March) a Return of the Snowflake MORGUEFILE.COM 3700 San Mateo NE alibi.com/e/173556 Winter’s Feather Forecast 4 to 5pm Rio Grande Nature Center Believe it or not it’s not too late to make decorations. Sure Christmas is over but Christmas doesn’t have a monopoly on snowflakes. Snowflakes will keep happening all winter, and there’s no reason not to decorate your house with them. If you think that snowflakes are a bit simple, a bit basic, then I have got a fun twist for you. The Erna Fergusson Library is hosting a snowflake making class, and the snowflakes will be Star Wars themed. A few simple snips in a specially folded piece of paper and you get a depiction of something from a galaxy far, far away. (Cerridwen Stucky) a 2901 Candelaria NW alibi.com/e/173467 Erna Fergusson Library [12] WEEKLY ALIBI COMPFIGHT.COM 8:30am to 3pm JANUARY 7-13, 2016 Head over to the Rio Grande Nature Center on a lark this Saturday, Jan. 9, for the annual Winter Bird and Bat Festival. Local naturalists will lead talks, nature walks and activities for visitors, as well as present live native birds. Attendees will have the opportunity to learn the cardinal rules of bird identification with a presentation from the local chapter of the National Audubon Society, get an introduction to bat biology and so much more over the course of the day. The festival runs from 8:30am to 4pm and is completely free, so show up! You won’t “egret” it. (Maggie Grimason) a COMPFIGHT.COM One City, Many People Special Collections Library 423 Central NE alibi.com/e/173560 10:30am to noon We all know that Albuquerque has a rich and storied history, but how much of that history do you actually know? And what about the people from all different backgrounds who built this city? The Special Collections Library has continued their People Create Cities series into the new year and is kicking it off on Saturday, Jan. 9, from 10:30am-12pm with stories of early Lebanese and Syrian settlers that came to Albuquerque. Local author Monika Ghattas will be the speaker this week, so if one of your New Year’s resolutions was to learn more, or if you are just curious about how the city was built, then come to this special event. (Taylor Grabowsky) a Community Calendar THURSDAY JAN 7 2016 PRE-LEGISLATIVE UPDATE Gov. Martinez presents to the New Mexico business community on issues like jobs, education and public safety. Hyatt Regency Downtown (330 Tijeras NW). $40-$50. 11am-1:30pm. alibi.com/e/173988. BEGINNER MEDITATION CLASS: HAPPINESS TOOLKIT Explore some of Buddha’s meditation methods that can help you face life’s challenges and difficulties with a calm and centered mind. Kadampa Meditation Center (8701 Comanche NE). $10. 7-8:30pm. 292-5293. alibi.com/e/173472. BENTLEY ZUMBA Whether you’re a newcomer or seasoned dancer, front row or back, everyone has a great time. Form Studio (3001 Monte Vista NE). $5. 5:45-6:45pm. 489-9168. alibi.com/e/173959. PUBLIC MEETING: BOSQUE MULTI-USE ACCESSIBLE PATH PROJECT (PHASE II) The purpose of this meeting is to describe the project, present alternatives and provide opportunity for public comment. Los Duranes Community Center Park (2920 Leopoldo NW). 5:30-7pm. 764-1753. alibi.com/e/172826. TREECYCLING Recycle your real Christmas tree and Christmas lights at Montessa Park Convenience Center, Eagle Rock Convenience Center and Ladera Golf Course until 1/10. Eagle Rock Convenience Center (6301 Eagle Rock NE). 8-10am. 761-8334. alibi.com/e/172593. ZOO BROWN BAG SEMINAR The wild population of slendersnouted crocs is dwindling, but research and collaboration are helping save this species. Learn more while eating your lunch. ABQ BioPark Zoo (903 10th Street SW). Included with regular admission. 12:30-1:30pm. 764-6214. alibi.com/e/172822. FRIDAY JAN 8 ALPHA Talks designed to encourage conversation and explore the basics of the Christian faith in a friendly, open and informal environment. Asbury United Methodist Church (10000 Candelaria NE). 6:30-9pm. 238-7610. alibi.com/e/170757. RIVER OF LIGHTS Extra days added due to recent winter weather. Event-goers can enjoy hot cocoa, gingerbread men, churros and other holiday treats at the Botanic Garden while they delight in the state’s largest walkthrough light show. ABQ BioPark Botanic Garden (2601 Central NW). $6-$12. 6-9:30pm. 768-2000. alibi.com/e/174332. SHAMANIC DRUM CIRCLE: JOURNEY THROUGH TRANCE A light ceremony followed by trance drumming, with Shamanic techniques and teachings offered. World Studio (6300 Magpie NE, Rio Rancho). $5. 10:30am-12:30pm. 382-5275. alibi.com/e/145045. SIXTH ANNUAL COMIC CON Bring the whole family for three days of events including films, celebrity signings, vendors, cosplay and more. Albuquerque Convention Center (401 Second Street NW). $0-$300. 4pm. 768-4575. alibi.com/e/170480. See Event Horizon. TREECYCLING 8-10am. See 1/7 listing. URBAN SHAMAN: LEARNING LODGE A class for spiritual explorers who are looking to meet each other and grow. All backgrounds welcome. The Kiva (3096 Rosendo Garcia SW). $5-$25. 7-9pm. 382-5275. alibi.com/e/108570. SATURDAY JAN 9 ADULTS CAN COLOR TOO! Coloring time for adults. Colored pencils and an assortment of delightful coloring pages provided. Los Griegos Library (1000 Griegos NW). 11am-noon. 761-4020. alibi.com/e/173559. BEGIN THE NEW YEAR BY THINKING ABOUT THE END A series of programs on End of Life Conversations. Join a panel of experts for an introduction to broaching sensitive topics and important matters to consider. Cherry Hills Library (6901 Barstow NE). 2-3pm. 857-8321. alibi.com/e/173990. FINDING PEACE, CLARITY & HARMONY Three classes that offer a chance to learn or brush up on basic meditation skills and techniques. Kadampa Meditation Center (8701 Comanche NE). $25 each or $60 for whole series. 10am-noon. 292-5293. alibi.com/e/173469. HEALTH, WELLNESS & FITNESS EXPO 2016 Show up for free informational resources, giveaways, health screenings, samples, vendors, music and shopping to support the Guardians of Children organization. Nativo Lodge (6000 Pan American NE). 10am-4pm. 798-4377. alibi.com/e/172814. RIVER OF LIGHTS $6-$12. 6-9:30pm. See 1/8 listing. SIXTH ANNUAL COMIC CON $0-$300. 10am. See 1/8 listing. SOLAR OBSERVING Just one week past Earth’s closest approach to the Sun it is the perfect time to catch views of sunspots and prominences through solar telescopes. Cerrillos Hills State Park (Santa Fe County Road 59, Cerrillos). $5 per vehicle. 11am-1pm. 474-0196. alibi.com/e/173944. TREECYCLING 8-10am. See 1/7 listing. WINTER BIRD AND BAT FESTIVAL The festival offers a speaker program, guided bird and plant walks, live birds with Wildlife Rescue and others, and crafts for kids. Rio Grande Nature Center (2901 Candelaria NW). Included with regular admission. 8:30am-3pm. 344-7240. alibi.com/e/173467. See Event Horizon. ZOO BROWN BAG SEMINAR Included with regular admission. 12:30-1:30pm. See 1/7 listing. SUNDAY JAN 10 BEING NON-CHRISTIAN IN ALBUQUERQUE Members of the Jewish, Hindu, Sikh, Islamic and Buddhist communities discuss common issues of being a minority in a Christian community. Congregation Albert (3800 Louisiana NE). $12. 10am-noon. alibi.com/e/173117. DRUM JOURNEY: URBAN SHAMAN Experience a powerful journey through sound and tap into your own personal abilities for healing and growth. The Source (1111 Carlisle SE). $10. 4:30-6pm. 382-5275. alibi.com/e/108618. PUBLIC MEDITATION SITTING Join in for a public sitting. Meditation instruction is available upon request. Albuquerque Shambhala Meditation Center (1102 Mountain NW). 10am-noon. 717-2486. alibi.com/e/132031. SIXTH ANNUAL COMIC CON $0-$300. 10am-6pm. See 1/8 listing. TREECYCLING 8-10am. See 1/7 listing. MONDAY JAN 11 HOMEWARD BOUND Get your pet microchipped for free. Now that you’ve found your forever friend, make sure they stay forever yours. Limit 100 microchips per day. Also occuring at the Westside Animal shelter. Eastside Animal Shelter (8920 Lomas NE). 11am-1pm. alibi.com/e/173639. TUESDAY JAN 12 ART EMPOWERMENT A peer-run group for folks interested in using art as a form of expression. Mediums (clay, paint, collage) vary week-by-week. Register online. Albuquerque Center for Hope & Recovery (1120 Second Street NW, Second Floor). $0-$2. 10am-1pm. 321-3449. alibi.com/e/172206. COMIC CON AT THE LIBRARY Events include art stations where you can make your own comic books, a cosplay contest and more. The first 50 people will get door prizes. Main Library (501 Copper NW). 3:30-6:30pm. 768-5131. alibi.com/e/173993. SELF-EMPOWERMENT GROUP Peer-run group focusing on addiction recovery. Small groups consist of recovery goals, triggers, relapse, relaxation and others. One-on-one peer support offered after each group. Albuquerque Center for Hope & Recovery (1120 Second Street NW, Second Floor). Noon-1pm. 321-3449. alibi.com/e/172261. WEDNESDAY JAN 13 BEYOND THE CADILLAC DESERT: HOW MYTHS OF CRISIS AND CONFLICT STAND IN THE WAY OF SOLVING THE WEST’S WATER PROBLEMS John Fleck takes a closer look at the way western farm towns and big cities are adapting and responding to drought and climate change. New Mexico Museum of Natural History and Science (1801 Mountain NW). 7-9pm. 410-0753. alibi.com/e/174137. BUTT PLAY BASICS: EXPLORING THE BACK DOOR Anal sex is one of the last taboos for many adults. Learning new techniques could make anal play your new favorite activity. Self Serve (3904 Central SE). $15-$20. 7:30pm. 265-5815. alibi.com/e/173536. COMPOSTING WITH WORMS (VERMICOMPOSTING) Food scraps and paper products make up about 30% of garbage. Use red worms to turn this organic waste into high quality compost. Open Space Visitor Center (6500 Coors NW). 1:30-2:30pm. 929-0414. alibi.com/e/172630. HERBS FOR COLD & FLU SEASON Learn about how to use herbs to strengthen the lungs and to ease runny noses, coughs, colds, fevers, and sinus infections. The Source (1111 Carlisle SE). $25. 6-8pm. 265-5900. alibi.com/e/172816. JANUARY 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [13] [14] WEEKLY ALIBI JANUARY 7-13, 2016 ARTS | culTuRe Shock Members of NYC’s Aztec Economy perform in Butcher Holler Here We Come PHOTO BY HUNTER CANNING Emily Climbs (Machine Méchant) PHOTO BY SCOTT ESLINGER Around the World in 21 Days Three week festival brings theater from four continents to Albuquerque BY MAGGIE GRIMASON ot everyone has the luxury of being able to travel. Finances, family obligations, schedules, et cetera, make it difficult, but Revolutions is a different way of traveling,” Juli Hendren wrote to me a few days after Christmas. I was marooned in the Midwest by snowstorms so we took the opportunity to chat via e-mail about theater, travel and connection. With travel plans and interviews thwarted, the idea of the world coming to visit me in the dark of Tricklock’s theater sounded attractive. Hendren is the Festival Curator for 2016’s Revolutions, a fete that brings theater from around the country and around the world to the Albuquerque community. “For me, it’s about connection,” she wrote—the connection that a well written, acted and directed play can illuminate under the stage lights—that we’re all human, and we have a lot to teach each other. “We don’t have to all be the same or agree, but allowing space for stories and experiences with people from different countries and cultures brings us together,” Hendren elaborated. This year, Tricklock is gathering a wide array of performances in Albuquerque— there are troupes visiting from Poland and Palestine, New York and Scotland and Colombia—and the content of their pieces vary just as widely as the performers’ geographic homes. Here, the players broach topics that include imperialism, motherhood, “N violence and psychosis in innovative and words.” I wrote to the members of Ashtar creative ways. 48 Minutes for Palestine, a play Theatre from Indiana, and they answered from produced by Ashtar Theatre of Ramallah, for Jerusalem. I asked them why they developed a example, tells the story of a woman who lives play for an audience overseas. Adebayo in her home in peace until a man shows up answered, “I have worked in Palestine on with a suitcase and declares that the property various projects over the past 14 years. In that is his. The entirety of the story is told time I’ve seen an intense increase in the level wordlessly, through physical movement and of oppression. I am constantly impressed by original music. Another piece, Butcher Holler people’s resistance through friendship and art. Here We Come by Aztec Economy out of New But when I go home [to Britain] I am … York City, tells the surprised by how little story of five miners people know about who are stranded the situation.” To Revolutions 2016 underground after a extend a fraction of JAN. 12 TO JAN. 30 collapse. “The only the experience lived by thousands of lights in the show Tricklock Performance Laboratory people in Palestine are their headlamps. 110 Gold Ave. SW and foster It’s very poetic and tricklock.com understanding rich,” Hendren between cultures, described. “Tricklock Ashtar Theatre is delivering this transcendent Company and the bulk of the work we do is performance to audiences internationally. deeply rooted in investigation,” she said, “we “The … mission of the festival comes down try to examine the human experience through to the belief that exposure to world theater our work.” Revolutions is a beautiful and and culture increases mutual understanding, profound extension of that core mission. inspires change and empowers individuals to “[48 Minutes for Palestine] was made improve the overall quality of life for all especially for an international audience,” people,” Hendren wrote. The scope of Ashtar Theatre’s General Director, Edward Revolutions and the convictions of its Muallem, said of the play, which will be organizers make the programming expansive, performed during the second week of thoughtful and just as progressive and Revolutions. The play’s director, Mohisda boundary-pushing as all of Tricklock’s Adebayo elaborated, “I often feel English can productions. For Tricklock’s contribution to be rather dishonest … I wanted to create a the fest, the troupe will revisit Her Murder piece of work for people outside [of Palestine], Ballad, a play with great scope that first opened to give an image of occupation without in the fall, which incorporates song and movement into its unique structure and inquiry into violence and passion. “Our work is raw and constantly evolving because the experiment never really stops,” Hendren said of returning to the work. In addition, Tricklock’s long-running cabaret and variety show The Reptilian Lounge will be incorporated into Revolutions, as will improv from neighboring theater, The Box. “I love Albuquerque,” Hendren said when asked about the emotional heart of Revolutions. “We all do at Tricklock. It raised us, supported us, made us who we are today. It’s important to us to bring the work we are experiencing out in the world back to the people of Albuquerque.” And that is, in part, how Revolutions started 16 years ago. The festival will continue to expand as Tricklock members have recently received a grant that will allow them to scout productions in Bogotá for the festival next year. In the intimate performance spaces and workshops of Revolutions, Tricklock presents living artifacts from around the country and the world that provide an opportunity to learn, gain understanding and cultivate a global perspective on art. “Artistic diplomacy is critical, now more than ever,” Hendren wrote as she wrapped up her e-mail to me. “I think Revolutions is an important part of that work.” Revolutions 2016 embarks on Tuesday, Jan. 12, with a kickoff party. A schedule of performances and tickets are available at tricklock.com. a JANUARY 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [15] Arts & Lit Calendar beaded project to take home. Registration is required and starts 30 days prior to program. 10-11:30am. 891-5012. alibi.com/e/172951. SUNDAY JAN 10 WORDS 516 ARTS Environmental Resiliency & Nonlinear Creative Research. Part travel log and part poetic narrative, with artist Nina Elder and writer Lucy Lippard. 7pm. 242-1445. alibi.com/e/173987. BOOKWORKS Death Ship. Author Joe Badal reads from his new thriller. 7pm. 344-8139. alibi.com/e/174216. ALBUQUERQUE MUSEUM OF ART AND HISTORY Northern Italy and Switzerland: Myths & Mysteries Art & Architecture. The Albuquerque International Association hosts a lecture by local architect Garrett Smith. $15-$20. 3-5pm. 856-7277. alibi.com/e/174214. PAGE ONE BOOKSTORE From the Sands of the Arena: Ancient World Trivia for the 21st Century. Dr. Rich Field signs his non-fiction book and conducts a “Test Your Knowledge” Bowl with small prizes. 3-4:40pm. 294-2026. alibi.com/e/173483. STAGE STAGE STAGE @ SANTA ANA STAR, Bernalillo Stand-up Comedy Thursdays. Jill Bryan, Greg Freiler and Matt Peterson perform. $10. 7:30pm. 771-5680. alibi.com/e/173521. ADOBE THEATER Deathtrap. $15-$17. 2pm. See 1/8 listing. VORTEX THEATRE Hamlet. $15-$22. 2pm. See 1/8 listing. SONG & DANCE NATIONAL HISPANIC CULTURAL CENTER The Four Seasons of Buenos Aires. Astor Piazzolla’s seminal and extraordinary composition combines jazz and the tango of his native Argentina with classical forms and 20th century harmonic ideas. $24-$68. 2pm. 246-2261. alibi.com/e/172815. THURSDAY JAN 7 WORDS SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe From a Whisper to a Dream Talent Search. Perform a live audition of two songs. Vocalists must either bring a CD with two tracks or an instrument, if you wish to accompany yourself. 6pm. (505) 982-0775. alibi.com/e/174178. FRIDAY JAN 8 SONG & DANCE GALLERY 606 Welcoming the Chinese Year of the Monkey Opening Reception. Art from China. Runs through 1/30. 5-8pm. alibi.com/e/174267. GRAFT System Visions Opening Reception. New work from Anna Reser. 6-9pm. alibi.com/e/173476. STRANGER FACTORY Joel Nakamura and Max Lehman Opening Reception. See two solo shows, Zen Gardens and Gods & Goop & Gobbledygook. Runs through 01/31. 6-9pm. alibi.com/e/173477. NATIONAL HISPANIC CULTURAL CENTER Dave Rawlings Machine. Dave Rawlings is an award-winning guitar player, singer, songwriter, and producer best known for his work with Gillian Welch, Old Crow Medicine Show and Ryan Adams. $34. 8pm. 246-2261. alibi.com/e/173513. STAGE TRICKLOCK PERFORMANCE LABORATORY 16th Annual Revolutions International Theatre Festival. Outstanding international performers are booked every day. Stay tuned to tricklock.com. $22-$179. alibi.com/e/174268. LEARN ERNA FERGUSSON LIBRARY Star Wars Snow Flakes. Create Stars Wars-themed snowflakes using easy templates. Open to all ages. 4-5pm. 888-8100. alibi.com/e/173556. See Event Horizon. SATURDAY JAN 9 SONG & DANCE ESTHER BONE MEMORIAL LIBRARY, Rio Rancho An Evening of Music with Jim Jones. Hear songs about the West: cowboys, horses and cattle, cattle rustlers, the coming of the train and the beauty of the Western sky. 6:30-7:45pm. 891-5012. alibi.com/e/172952. LEARN CHERRY HILLS LIBRARY Teen Craft Night: Paper Hot Air Balloons. Teens, 13-18, learn to weave paper into hot air balloons. Registration is required and limited to 12. 6-7pm. 857-8321. alibi.com/e/173994. WEDNESDAY JAN 13 WORDS SPECIAL COLLECTIONS LIBRARY People Create Cities: The Lebanese/Syrian Community. Monika Ghattas, author of Los Árabes of New Mexico: Compadres from a Distant Land, tells the stories from Albuquerque’s Lebanese and Syrian settlers. 10:30am-noon. 848-1376. alibi.com/e/173560. See Event Horizon. ART STAGE ALBUQUERQUE MUSEUM OF ART AND HISTORY New Territories: Laboratories for Design, Craft and Art in Latin America. A celebration of the opening of a new exhibit. 1-4pm. 243-7255. alibi.com/e/172824. OPEN SPACE VISITOR CENTER Soul/Soil Opening Reception. Fearnside explores the world below and Hample explores themes of natural and man-made patterns and essences. Runs through 2/21. 2-4pm. 897-8831. alibi.com/e/173991. TRICKLOCK PERFORMANCE LABORATORY 16th Annual Revolutions International Theatre Festival. $22-$179. See 1/12 listing. STAGE ADOBE THEATER Deathtrap. $15-$17. 7:30-10pm. See 1/8 listing. VORTEX THEATRE Hamlet. $15-$22. 7:30pm. See 1/8 listing. SONG & DANCE ALBUQUERQUE MUSEUM OF ART AND HISTORY Art in the Afternoon: Jazz Brasileiro. Classic bossa bova and contemporary Brazilian music, food and art. 2-5pm. 243-7255. alibi.com/e/173581. BLUE MOON YOGA, Santa Fe New Year Sacred Sound Celebration. Indigenous Cosmos and Sui Ki Li, featuring Tibetan Bowls, percussion, gong bath and the amazing, etheric vocals of Myrrh de Marmion. $15-$25. 1pm. (317) 985-7622. alibi.com/e/172726. LEARN ESTHER BONE MEMORIAL LIBRARY, Rio Rancho Create with Leda: Making a Beaded Necklace. Plan and execute a JANUARY 7-13, 2016 TUESDAY JAN 12 STAGE CHERRY HILLS LIBRARY Spanish Literature Book Club. This meeting’s selection is Sefarad by Antonio Muñoz Molina. 1-3pm. 857-8321. alibi.com/e/173995. SOUTHWEST WRITERS OFFICE, Carlisle Executive Suites Myth in Writing. This three-part class explores myth in writing using the structure of the Hero’s Journey for fiction/memoir. $39-$49. 5:45-7:45pm. alibi.com/e/173996. WORDS WEEKLY ALIBI MONDAY JAN 11 ART ADOBE THEATER Deathtrap. A wickedly comedic thriller by Ira Levin. $15-$17. 7:30-10pm. 898-9222. alibi.com/e/172464. BOX PERFORMANCE SPACE AND IMPROV THEATRE Comedy? Albuquerque’s DIY comedy troupe provides improv, sketch and music. $8. 9:30pm. 404-1578. alibi.com/e/135369. VORTEX THEATRE Hamlet. Arguably Shakespeare’s most famous play, Hamlet is among the most powerful and influential tragedies in English literature. $15-$22. 7:30pm. 247-8600. alibi.com/e/173395. [16] SONG & DANCE PHOTOS BY ERIC WILLAIMS | ERICWPHOTO.COM FOOD | restauraNt review 3225 Central NE Duck tamale Not a Party Yet Matanza has bountiful beers but issues with spices and prices BY TY BANNERMAN n New Mexico, a “matanza” is a celebration, a something like a rodeo with the addition of a communal slaughtering of livestock. In the more rural parts of our state, matanzas follow this tradition, offering prizes for butchering and slaughtering skills. In Nob hill, though, Matanza has instead become a restaurant. So it goes, tradition becomes appropriated and commodified, but hey, it’s a catchy name, right? Maybe we can chalk it up to hometown pride. And what really matters here is the dining. The space, which took over the old Savvy Boutique, is large for Nob Hill. A few televisions hang over the bar showing The Game; there’s lots of raw stone and wood and metal. Large tables and low booths take up the center of the room, while two-tops nestle in by the windows. It’s a sleek and comfortable space with a distinct upscale sensibility. First, the beer: There are about a million draft taps lined up on the back wall behind the marble bar counter. The rainbow of tap handles represent over a hundred beers from a seriously expansive lineup of New Mexico breweries, even some far-flung offerings like a pecan ale from (where else) the Pecan Brewery in Las Cruces. And, naturally, plenty from the ABQ metro area, like Marble, Boxing Bear, Red Door, La Cumbre and B2B. Feeling like I needed something new, I tried two of Matanza’s own branded offerings. One, simply called “Habañero” was quite good, a pale ale with spice from the chile just hot enough to make an impact without overwhelming the other flavors. The other, an “Indian stout” laces its dark barley with curry. Too much, really. Skip it unless you’re excited I Mantanza 3225 Central NE 312-7305 matanzanm.com Hours: 4pm to 11pm Mondays 11:30am to 11pm Tuesday through Sunday Vibe: Sleek yet comfortable Extras: Nob Hill people watching Alibi recommends: N’Orleans, burgesa and calabacitas bisque about a beer that tastes like an Indian restaurant smells. So far, not too bad. Appetizers include a phenomenal calabacitas bisque, which is warming and homey and squash-sweet with a slow-burn heat from green chile. Skip the “trifecta” of salsa, guacamole and queso, though. It has a lackluster impact for its $10 price tag with little to recommend the bland salsa and queso. Instead, maybe opt for flying hogs, a plate of pork-on-the-bone cooked either Buffalo style or New Mexican. Same price, but more satisfying. The lunch menu offers some great sandwiches and salads (or “sangwiches” and “ensaladas,” as the Burqueño pastiche lays it out on the menu itself). The Burgesa, with red chile aioli is a tremendously good hunk of meat, which shouldn’t be a surprise given that the owners also run Q Burger. The N’Orleans offers a spicy take on a muffuletta, though it’s presented more as a club sandwich than the traditional Louisiana form. The olive tapenade on the sandwich offers the kind of flavor that you’ll dream about. Skip the Sparta vegetarian burrito; its filling is a light purplish mixture of black beans and hummus, overpoweringly flavored with garlic. It seemed, so help me, more like a chip dip in a tortilla than a burrito. Ironically, the menu section labeled “Favoritos” wound up offering my least favorite items. Duck tamales, for instance, though promised as a “future award winner” on the menu, wound up as less then spectacular. The duck was begging for more spice, and the masa was too dry and crumbly. The dish comes with a sweet red chile molé, but the flavor didn’t meld with the tamale so much as flood over it. Like all of the entrées, it comes with calabacitas. These are particularly heavy on the corn, with the squash slices few and far between. Like the Sparta, the calabacitas are heavily laden with garlic. It’s a peculiar thing at Matanza, but it seems like the food is either far too subtly spiced or over-spiced. My companion tried the black and blue label tacos, which offer blue corn tortillas filled with kobe beef and (according to the menu) bleu cheese. The beef was flavorful, though dry, and the bleu cheese was, well, hard to find and hardly offered much to the overall taste. Given the price of these entrées, I unfortunately can’t recommend them. The ideas behind them are innovative, but the plated reality can’t quite measure up. For now, I suggest that diners stick with the sandwiches and beer. The bottom line still tends toward the pricey, but the sandwiches I had were far more satisfying. Here’s hoping that these are issues that can be worked out as the restaurant continues to evolve. Perhaps then Matanza can be worthy of a celebration of its own. a JANUARY 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [17] FILM | The WORST REEL WORLD BY DEVIN D. O’LEARY 50 Shades of Grey Film Threat Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 The worst movies of 2015 BY DEVIN D. O’LEARY o long, 2015. It’s been real. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. You gave us terrorist attacks, a refugee crisis in Syria, waaay too many police shootings, a “Godzilla” El Niño and Donald Trump’s ... well, everything. Heck, even the entertainment industry seemed to want to punish us this year. Sure, Hollywood very nearly made up for Star Wars: Episodes I, II and III by giving us Star Wars: The Force Awakens. But the year also saw the release of four Adam Sandler movies (The Cobbler, Pixels, Hotel Transylvania 2 and The Ridiculous 6). That’s just cruel. The pain started early with the February release of 50 Shades of Grey. Despite heavy publicity and the anticipation of inexplicable fans of E.L. James’ “novel,” the best most of us were hoping for was a lot of high camp sleaze. Sadly, the film failed to deliver on the Showgirls promise. The uniformly dull, rigidly po-faced feature consisted mostly of contract negotiations between two of the least believable characters of the year. Sex hasn’t looked this boring since the release of the Paris Hilton sex tape. Sitting through it was the real act of sadomasochism. A lot of people spent 2015 eagerly awaiting George Lucas’ long-promised new film. They got it with the animated fantasy Strange Magic. If the name doesn’t sound quite as familiar to you as Star Wars: The Force Awakens, you’re not alone. On opening weekend, it pulled in $5.5 million—making it the smallest opening for an animated film released in over 3,000 theaters. Production on this vanity project was underway for years. Not that you could tell by the final product—a generic fantasy mishmash of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Labyrinth and American Graffiti. And, yes, it was a musical featuring old pop songs like “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” “Sugar Pie Honey Bunch” and ELO’s “Strange Magic.” “Worst box office” was something of a photo finish this year, in fact. In August, S [18] WEEKLY ALIBI JANUARY 7-13, 2016 Warner Bros. released the EDM DJ drama We Are Your Friends starring Zac Efron. The film opened at number 14 at the box office, taking in just $758 per screen. That made it the fourth worst debut ever for a film playing more than 2,000 screens—which pretty much answered the question, “Why don’t we have more dramas about dudebros who DJ raves with their laptops?” But wait! Less than two months later, audiences witnessed John M. Chu’s tone-deaf, live-action, ’80s cartoon adaptation Jem and the Holograms. The Step Up 2: The Streets director tried to update the story for today’s YouTube generation—by incorporating actual, user-submitted YouTube videos into the film. As a result, Jem and the Holograms took in a mere $568 per screen, making it the new “fourth worst opening ever for a film playing in more than 2,000 theaters.” Unsurprisingly, the studio pulled it out of theaters after only two weeks. You can’t blame 20th Century Fox for wanting to steal a bit of that sweet Marvel/Disney money by milking some of the few comic book characters they’re still keeping a deathgrip on. (Ant-Man raked in $180 million, for crying out loud.) But really, there was no excuse for director Josh Trank’s rambling, thoroughly non-exciting reboot of Fantastic Four. Even Roger Corman’s notoriously unreleased 1994 version was good for a few laughs. Reboots, remakes and sequels are still par for the Hollywood course. And frankly, a lot of this is our own damn fault. If movie studios give up and hand us no-effort garbage like Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 and Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip and we reward them for it (Kevin James’ numbskull slapstick earned $71 million), we kinda deserve what we get. Then again, even talented actors and directors stumbled in 2015. Writer-director Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous, Jerry Maguire) cast super-white Emma Stone as a half-Asian character in his romantic ensemble Aloha. Of course, even without the Hollywood whitewashing, the film would have been an awkward mess. It’s OK, Cameron; you’ll always have Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Johnny Depp, meanwhile, continued his fill-tilt career immolation (Dark Shadows? The Lone Ranger? Transcendence? Tusk?) with the release of Mortdecai. Despite its origins as a well-regarded series of comic caper novels by Kyril Bonfiglioli, this art thief romp costarring Gwyneth Paltrow and Paul Bettany was a box office bomb, landing Depp in the category of “Most Overpaid Actor of 2015.” Every year sees an increasing number of Christian faith-based films. They attract a loyal audience and make good money at the box office, but few have the budget or talent to compete with mainstream Hollywood cinema. And a handful stand out as laughable attempts to force ultraconservative values on American audiences. This year’s silliest Jesus-based outing was Rik Swartzwelder’s retrograde romance Old Fashioned. In it, the Evangelical writer-director-producer starred as a smalltown prig who attempted to woo a new girl in town the “old fashioned” way—by never kissing her, touching her or being alone in the same room with her. In fact, he would only speak to her while separated by a screen door. (Seriously.) The Amish are capable of producing steamier romances. Crackpot Christian creationists and New Age conspiracy theorists came together in anno 2015’s most baffling effort, the geocentric documentary The Principle. Yup, this rabidly anti-science doc seriously attempted to discount the blasphemous Copernican idea that the Earth revolves around the sun. Actress Kate Mulgrew (who captained a ship into outer space, for crying out loud) narrated the film. She (and most of the scientists involved) later disavowed the film, saying they were tricked into appearing in it without being told what it was about. What better symbol for the intelligence of the entertainment industry in 2015 than a film that drags scientific understanding back to 1500 AD? a Screening Albuquerque The Albuquerque Film Festival returns January 7 through 10. Screenings will take place at the Guild Cinema (3405 Central NE) and the Aux Dog Theatre (3011 Monte Vista NE). There will be blocks of short films (Dramatic Shorts, Student Shorts, Horror Shorts, Sci-Fi Shorts and Superhero/Fantasy Shorts) as well as narrative features and documentaries. Among the local features is Dead River, shot in the Santa Fe area with a New Mexico cast and crew including Morse Bicknell, Ed Lottimer, Lora Martinez Cunningham and Victor Talmadge. The film, written and directed by Jason DeBoer, is described as an “intellectual mystery set in the literary world.” It will screen Thursday, Jan. 7, 8pm, at Guild Cinema. Another film with a strong local connection is Pin Up! The Movie, a documentary which follows a group of women drawn to the “retro lifestyle.” Director Kathleen Ryan worked with KOAT-TV and KOB radio, while producer David Stanton is a former arts reporter at the Albuquerque Journal. Pin Up! will screen Sunday, Jan. 10, 2pm, at Aux Dog. Other films of note include Under the Lights in Thailand (a documentary about the World MuayThai Championship), Non-Stop to ComicCon (a comedy about three geeky friends on a quest to attend the legendary San Diego ComicCon) and Star Leaf (a psychedelic horror film in which stoners battle aliens in the woods). Individual tickets are $10. Festival passes are a mere $20. To check out a complete schedule of films and times, go to abqfilmfestival.com. Post time Are you a local filmmaker struggling to complete a nearly done project? The New Mexico Film Foundation is still taking submissions for the Beau McNicholas Post Production Grant. Interested filmmakers could land $1,500 to pay for sound, editing, color correction, special effects or other post-production work. You must be a New Mexico resident to apply. Applications will be taken through January 15. The award is scheduled be handed out in February. To fill out the application, got to nmfilmfoundation.org. You’ll need to include a one-page resumé and a document explaining what area of post production you will use the money for. Those in the final running for the grant will have to submit a rough copy of their film for consideration. a TELEVISION | IDIOT BOX You're the Worst TV’s lousiest offerings of 2015 BY DEVIN D. O’LEARY o we live in a Golden Age of Television? Sure, why not. Even if you want to argue the point, you’ve got to acknowledge that audiences are demanding smarter, more expensive, more well-crafted weekly entertainment. On the comedy front, we’ve got genre-bending risk-takers like FOX’ “The Last Man on Earth” and The CW’s “Crazy ExGirlfriend.” On the drama tip we get headturning innovators like USA’s “Mr. Robot” and Cinemax’s “The Knick.” On the other hand, we’re subjected to every hidebound, grandmabait throwback CBS has to offer. So what sort of awfulness did the Golden Age of Television try to pawn off on us this past year? The Republican Presidential Debates (Fox News, CNN, etc.)—In the nonstop reality show that is America, circa 2015, every celebrity in creation has already been turned into a cartoonish version of themselves by the ever-present TV camera. Sadly, having run out of celebrities, bounty hunters, tow truck drivers, duck call manufacturers, Amish gangsters and anyone fertile enough to have eight or more kids, television turned to politicians this year. The Republican debates were the place to watch theoretically wellmeaning wannabe public servants debase themselves by accepting their mediadistributed caricatures (crazy uncle, cranky grandpa, religious kook) and running with them. It wasn’t about politics this year, it was about entertainment. And no one took to this assignment more enthusiastically than Donald “I Am The Least Racist Person” Trump. Here’s a campaign slogan for you, “Donald Trump: Worse Than a Kardashian.” D THE WEEK IN SLOTH THURSDAY 7 “My Diet is Better Than Yours” (KOAT-7 8pm) If you can’t get enough of watching other people lose weight, here’s another show in which people will diet and exercise for your amusement, you sick bastard. “Angel From Hell” (KRQE-13 8:30pm) I can almost guarantee the idea for this sitcom sounds funnier in theory that practice: Jane Lynch plays a drunken, mean-spirited guardian angel to a successful doctor. Hijinks ensue. “Shades of Blue” (KOB-4 9pm) Jennifer Lopez, deciding her talents are better suited for the small screen (her last film, The Boy Next Door, would certainly agree), goes primetime cop drama. She plays a crooked New York police officer (and single mom, of course) recruited by the FBI to become an informant. FRIDAY 8 “Ex Isle” (WE 11pm) Former couples seek “closure” on a tropical isle ... and in front of TV cameras. Carmen Electra hosts this reverse dating “Wicked City” (ABC)—This ’80s hairmetal serial killer thriller set amid the neon of the Sunset Strip had the distinction of being the only new TV show actually canceled this fall season. After three episodes. That’s how entertaining it was. “Truth Be Told” (NBC)—This mouthbreathing sitcom, ostensibly about how people really talk when they aren’t trying to be “politically correct,” turned out to be your basic couch-based sitcom in which two best buds sit around and trade rude quips behind their wives’ backs. Using the Donald Trump excuse of “just telling the truth,” the makers let loose with a barrage of racist, sexist jokes—which weren’t brave and unabashed, so much as archaic and stupid. “Knock Knock Live!” (FOX)—Ryan Seacrest hosted and produced this mercifully short-lived summer series, which seemed to believe people would watch anything this year so long as the word “live” was attached. In it cameras arrived at random folks’ houses to ... well, here’s where things get convoluted. Sometimes there would be gameshow segments, other times it would be celebrity interviews or maybe a concert or who the hell knows? Producers clearly never came up with a concept for the show and were just winging it. “Sex Box” (WE)—This is the part of the article where I remind/inform everyone that WE briefly broadcast a ... game show? reality show? national embarrassment? in which couples had sex on stage (hidden in a box so audiences neither saw nor heard anything, so what’s the point?) and then discussed their “issues” (such as bumping uglies on national television) with a panel of therapists and sex experts. This is a thing that actually happened. a show—which is exciting news to pubescent boys in 1997. SATURDAY 9 My Sweet Audrina (Lifetime 6pm) Author V.C. Andrews of Flowers in the Attic infamy gets another of her “lurid lite” Gothic thrillers adapted to television. We get rape, murder, post traumatic stress disorder, selfhypnosis, nymphomania, diabetes, autism, “brittle bone disease” and— of course—a big, creepy house. “MythBusters: The Explosion Special” (Discovery 6pm) MythBusters Adam and Jamie kick off their 14th (and final) season with a bang. TUESDAY 12 “MADtv 20th Anniversary Reunion” (KWBQ-19 7pm) Ike Barinholtz, Alex Borstein, Mo Collins, Crista Flanagan, Anjelah Johnson, Keegan-Michael Key, Phil LaMarr, Artie Lange, Bobby Lee and others reunite for some ’90s-nostalgic sketch comedy action. “Shadowhunters” (Freeform 7:02pm) Cassandra Clare’s young adult book series (about sexy, young angels fighting sexy, young demons) got turned into the nonetoo-successful 2013 feature The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones. Now Freeform (formerly ABC Family) tries again with a TV show. SUNDAY 10 “The 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards” (KOB-4 6pm) Funny-mean host Ricky Gervais takes the starch out of various well-paid Hollywood stars. Murder, She Baked: A Peach Cobbler Mystery (Hallmark Movie Channel 7pm) If you’re not an 80-year-old grandmother, this quaint crime story involving pastries is not for you. MONDAY 11 “Fashion Police: The 2016 Golden Globe Awards” (E! 9pm) Kathy Griffin is out and Margaret Cho is in. The catty digs on weirdly dressed starlets remain. WEDNESDAY 13 “Second Chance” (KASA-2 8pm) In this Frankenstein-esque cop show, a 75-year-old sheriff is resurrected as a younger (and, conveniently, superpowered) version of himself by billionaire scientists. Because everything has to be a cop show these days. “Teachers” (TV Land 9:02pm) All six members of viral video sketch comedy troupe the Katydids (all of whom are named some form of “Katie”) star in this sitcom about a bunch of largely inappropriate elementary school teachers. a JANUARY 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [19] [20] WEEKLY ALIBI JANUARY 7-13, 2016 FILM | CAPSULES BY DEVIN D. O’LEARY OPENING THIS WEEK The 2016 Albuquerque Film Festival at Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX, Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16) Theeb The 2016 outing of the “socially conscious” Albuquerque Film Festival splits its time between Guild Cinema and the Aux Dog Theater. Highlights include the Muay Thai documentary Under the Lights in Thailand, the nerdy road trip comedy Non-Stop to Comic-Con, the retro fashion model documentary Pin Up! The Movie and the “stoned hikers vs. space aliens” horror flick Star Leaf. For a complete schedule of films and times, go to abqfilmfestival.com. (Opens Thursday 1/7 at Guild Cinema) This “Bedouin Western,” set in the land of Lawrence of Arabia, finds a desert-dwelling guide hired by a British Army officer to help locate a lost oasis. As war rages in 1916 Saudi Arabia, the adventurous group soon finds itself beset by Ottoman mercenaries, Arab revolutionaries and outcast Bedouin raiders. Worse still, our guide’s mischievous younger brother (the titular Theeb) is secretly tagging along behind. In Arabic with English subtitles. 100 minutes. Unrated. (Opens Tuesday 1/12 at Guild Cinema) Blade Runner: The Final Cut Troublemakers: The Story of Land Art Check out Ridley Scott’s “final” tinkering with his seminal 1982 sci-fi flick. (Semantic appearances to the contrary, he didn’t actually have anything to do with the 1992 “Director’s Cut.”) Whether or not the few new edits and additions result in a tighter overall theme are irrelevant. This is still one of the finest science fiction films ever made and an absolute privilege to see digitally restored. 117 minutes. R. (Opens Sunday 1/10 at Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio) This artistic documentary unearths the exploits of a group of renegade New York artists who “sought to transcend the limitations of painting and sculpture” by constructing monumental earthworks in the desolate deserts of the American Southwest in the late 1960s and early ’70s. Among the artists interviewed are Robert Smithson (Spiral Jetty), Walter De Maria (The Lightning Field) and Michael Heizer (Double Negative). 72 minutes. Unrated. (Opens Saturday 1/9 at Guild Cinema) The Forest The World of Kanako Welcome January’s first cheap horror flick. Natalie Dormer (Margaery Tyrell from “Game of Thrones”) stars as a young woman searching for her twin sister who has gone missing in Aokigahara, a Japanese forest famed as a favorite spot for suicides. Supernatural weirdness ensues. 95 minutes. PG-13. (Opens Thursday 1/7 at Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX, Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16) The Happiest Days of Your Life This manic, 1950 farce from the UK finds Alastair Sim and Margaret Rutherford among the staff of two schools (one all-boys and one all-girls) being amalgamated into one as part of a bureaucratic mix-up. Naturally, all sorts of comic chaos ensues. 81 minutes. (Opens Saturday 1/9 at Guild Cinema) My Friend Victoria This probing look at the politics of race and gender starts by introducing us to an 8-year-old black girl named Victoria (Keylia Achie Beguie), who is taken in for a night by the wealthy, white, well-intentioned family of one of her schoolmates. The experience haunts her for years to come, shaping her desires and dreams. As an adult (played by newcomer Guslagie Malanda), she drifts from job to job in modern-day Paris. This poignant economic drama is based on Nobel laureate Doris Lessing’s story “Victoria and the Staveneys.” In French with English subtitles. 95 minutes. Unrated. (Opens Tuesday 1/12 at Guild Cinema) Peggy Guggenheim: Art Addict As the primary procurer for her uncle’s famous New York museum, heiress Peggy Guggenheim led an enviable life— jetting around the globe, hobnobbing with Duchamp, Pollock, Cocteau, Beckett and Rothko and collecting just about every piece of famous 20th century modern art. Director Lisa Immordino Vreeland (Diana Vreeland: The Eye Has to Travel) captures the life of this extraordinary patron of the arts in a way that is beautiful, thrilling and a little bit scandalous. 97 minutes. Unrated. (Opens Saturday 1/9 at Guild Cinema) The Revenant After a brief flirtation with humor in Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) filmmaker Alejandro González Iñárritu returns to the painfully grim style of his early films (Amores Perros, 21 Grams, Babel, Biutiful). Leonardo DiCaprio plays a frontiersman leading a furtrapping expedition in 1820 who is abandoned and betrayed by the men who hired him. What follows is an extremely brutal tale of survival and (ultimately) revenge. It’s extravagantly visual and hard to look away from—but rather punishing. 156 minutes. R. (Opens Thursday 1/7 At the request of his ex-wife, a drunken, self-loathing detective (Koji Yakusho from 13 Assassins) cruises the garish nighttime streets of Tokyo searching for his estranged teenage daughter. Like George C. Scott in Paul Schrader’s Hardcore, our “hero?” is ready, willing and able to unleash bloody vengeance on her corrupters. But he’s got no idea how dark and depraved things are going to get. Director Tetsuya Nakashima (Confessions) unleashes gallons of blood, sweat and tears, some crazed animation and plenty of ADHD-style editing in service to this unbelievably nihilistic crime saga. In Japanese with English subtitles. 118 minutes. Unrated. (Opens Friday 1/8 at Guild Cinema) STILL PLAYING Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip Computer-animated rodents/pop stars the Chipmunks mistakenly decide that their adoptive human father/band manager (yeah, I really don’t understand any of this concept) is getting married. So they drive to Miami to stop the wedding. Jason Lee and Bella Thorne are the unfortunate humans in this fourth outing. 86 minutes. PG. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX) The Big Short Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Marisa Tomei, Karen Gillan and Melissa Leo star in this cynical comedy-drama about four outsiders in the world of high-finance who predicted the credit and housing bubble collapse of the mid-2000s and set out to expose the greed and shortsightedness of the big banks. Adam McKay (Anchorman, Talladega Nights) writes and directs, based on the nonfiction book by Michael Lewis. 130 minutes. R. (Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16, Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema) Carol Director Todd Haynes (Far From Heaven, Mildred Pierce) returns again to the 1950s for another ravishing, Douglas Sirk-esque romantic melodrama. Rooney Mara (The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo) is a shy, New York shopgirl who engages in The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name with a rich, suburban housewife (the always perfect Cate Blanchett). The leads are excellent and the period recreation is meticulous. But for all its confrontation of midcentury social mores, the film remains formal as a dinner party and a bit chilly around the edges. Based on the controversial novel The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith. 118 minutes. R. (Century 14 Downtown) Concussion Will Smith stars as the real-life African pathologist who uncovered the truth about brain damage in football players who suffer repeated concussions in the course of normal play. It’s the perfect film for people who love football but are looking for a reason to hate it. 123 minutes. PG-13. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX, Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16) Creed Sylvester Stallone (who neither directs nor writes this film) takes a clever turn in this seventh Rocky movie by mostly staying out of the center ring. Written and directed by the man who gave us the gritty Fruitvale Station, this sporting drama focuses on the troubled son of late boxer Apollo Creed, who turns to Creed’s old frenemy, former Heavyweight Champion Rocky Balboa, to serve as his trainer and mentor. Michael B. Jordan, last seen (or not) in Fantastic Four, is our young boxer-to-be. 132 minutes. PG-13. (Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16) for Herman Melville’s Moby Dick. Howard creates some evocative images of early 19th century New England. And the film’s 3D special effects viscerally capture life aboard a whaling ship. The subject matter—the brutal, archaic whaling industry—might not be everyone’s cup of tea, however. Reviewed in v24 i50. 121 minutes. PG-13. (Century Rio) Joy Writer-director David O. Russell rejoins a lot of his cast from Silver Linings Playbook for this chaotic comedydrama about the life of real-life inventor and entrepreneur Joy Mangano, who created the Miracle Mop. The film— featuring the wonderful Jennifer Lawrence in the title role—is mostly an oddball American success story about the ins and outs of running a family business. Like all of Russell’s films, the tone is off-kilter throughout. 124 minutes. PG-13. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque, Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16) Krampus Daddy’s Home Will Ferrell is a mild-mannered radio executive trying his best to connect with his two stepchildren. The task becomes harder when the kids’ kick-ass biological father (Mark Wahlberg) comes home for a visit. If you loved Ferrell and Wahlberg in The Other Guys ... then your taste is questionable. 96 minutes. PG-13. (Century 14 Downtown, Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Century Rio, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque, Cottonwood Stadium 16, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX) The Danish Girl Eddie Redmayne (The Theory of Everything) and Alicia Vikander (Ex Machina) star in this “ficticious drama” loosely based on the romance between Dutch artists Gerda Wegener and Lili Elbe, an early transgender pioneer and one of the first recipients of sex reassignment surgery. 119 minutes. R. (Century Rio) The Good Dinosaur Pixar and Disney imagine a world in which a rogue asteroid didn’t wipe out the dinosaurs, allowing them to live hand-in-hand (so to speak) with humans. Jeffrey Wright, Frances McDormand, Anna Paquin and Sam Elliott provide some of the voices for this tale of a gentle Apatosaurus who makes an unlikely human friend while traveling through a mysterious primeval landscape. Reviewed in v24 i48. 100 minutes. PG. (Cottonwood Stadium 16, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX, Century Rio) A boy who has had a bad Christmas ends up accidentally summoning a traditional European Christmas demon (named Krampus, of course) to his family home. Adam Scott ( “Parks and Recreation”), Toni Collette (Little Miss Sunshine), David Koechner (Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy) and Allison Tolman (“Fargo”) are among the cast of this seasonal horror comedy. 98 minutes. PG13. (Century Rio) Point Break A mostly unknown cast (Édgar Ramirez? Luke Bracey?) takes over for Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves in this dudebro remake of the 1991 surfing bank robber cult classic. This time around, the filmmakers throw in a bunch more “extreme” sports to jack up the adrenaline levels to distract from the fact that the story is still silly as hell. 113 minutes. PG-13. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque, Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX) Sisters “SNL” pals Tina Fey and Amy Poehler reunite for this rude ’n’ crude comedy about two sisters who decide to throw one last, raging house party before their parents sell off their childhood home. Raucous and outrageous as it is at times, there’s still a humane and heartfelt undercurrent to the story about growing up and moving on. 118 minutes. R. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque, Cottonwood Stadium 16, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX) The Hateful Eight Quentin Tarantio constructs a chatty, claustrophobic mystery smack dab in the middle of a violent spaghetti Western. In it, a bounty hunter (Kurt Russell) is trapped with a prisoner (Jennifer Jason Leigh) in a remote stagecoach stop in the middle of the Wyoming Wilderness by a raging blizzard. The only question is who of his fellow strandees (Samuel L. Jackson, Tim Roth, Bruce Dern and Michael Madsen among them) are fellow bounty hunters hoping to steal his prisoner and how many of them are the lady’s compatriots trying to free her? This crazed, funny, vulgar, bloody mashup is like Stagecoach crossed with The Thing, written by Agatha Christie and directed by Sergio Leone. Reviewed in v24 i52. 168 minutes. R. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque, Cottonwood Stadium 16) The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2 Jennifer Lawrence finally gets around to overthrowing the evil futuristic government in this, the fourth film of the Hunger Games trilogy. This surprisingly dark outing takes its time getting to the epic final seige. But fans will eat it up anyway. 137 minutes. PG-13. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16) In the Heart of the Sea Thor himself, Chris Hemsworth stars in this historical survival tale directed by Ron Howard. The story is based on the true account of the Essex, a ship that was sunk by a gigantic whale in 1820 and served as the inspiration Spotlight Actor/director Tom McCarthy (The Station Agent, The Visitor) writes and directs this serious, sweeping true story about how Boston Globe reporters uncovered a massive scandal of child molestation and cover-up within the local Catholic Archdiocese. This journalistic procedural lays as much blame on the media as the churches. The big cast (Mark Ruffalo, Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Liev Schreiber, John Slattery, Stanley Tucci) is in rare form, and the muckraking script is gripping (if a bit prosaic). 128 minutes. R. (Century Rio) Star Wars: The Force Awakens It’s been 30 years since the Empire was crushed in Return of the Jedi. But something evil has risen from the ashes, forcing a new generation of heroes (John Boyega and Daisy Ridley among them) to team up with legendary freedom fighters Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Princess Leia (Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher, returning for another go-around). J.J. Abrams ( “Lost,” Star Trek Into Darkness) directs this first new Star Wars film in 10 years. It’s littered (both literally and figuratively) with references to the original film. By mirroring the Star Wars: Episode IV—A New Hope story almost beat-for-beat, the film lacks a level of narrative surprise. But it’s smartly nostalgic and a hell of a lot of fun to watch—which is something Episodes I, II and III completely forgot. 140 minutes. PG-13. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX) JANUARY 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [21] FILM | TIMES wEEk oF FrI., january 8-ThurS., january 14 CENTURY 14 DOWNTOWN 100 Central SW • 1 (800) 326-3264 ext. 943# Blade Runner: The Final Cut Sun 2:00; Wed 2:00; 7:00 The Forest Fri-Sun 12:20, 2:45, 5:10, 7:35, 10:00; Mon-Thu 12:20, 2:45, 5:10, 7:35 The Revenant Fri-Sun 11:55am, 3:30, 7:00, 10:30; Mon-Thu 11:55am, 3:30, 7:00 The Hateful Eight Fri-Sun 11:15am, 2:55, 6:35, 10:15; Mon-Thu 11:15am, 2:55, 6:35 Carol Fri-Sun 1:40, 4:30, 7:20, 10:10; Mon-Wed 1:40, 4:30, 7:20; Thu 1:40 Point Break Fri-Sat 11:40am, 2:25, 5:15, 8:00, 10:50; Sun 5:15, 8:00, 10:50; Mon-Tue 11:40am, 2:25, 5:15, 8:00; Thu 11:40am, 2:25 Joy Fri-Sun 1:25, 4:20, 7:25, 10:35; Mon-Thu 1:25, 4:20, 7:25 Concussion Fri-Sun 1:30, 4:35, 7:50, 10:50; Mon-Wed 1:30, 4:35, 7:50; Thu 1:30 Daddy’s Home Fri-Sun 11:20am, 1:50, 4:25, 7:15, 9:45; Mon-Thu 11:20am, 1:50, 4:25, 7:15 The Big Short Fri-Sun 1:45, 4:45, 7:45, 10:45; Mon-Thu 1:45, 4:45, 7:45 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip Fri-Sun 11:30am, 2:20, 4:40, 7:10, 9:35; Mon-Thu 11:30am, 2:20, 4:40, 7:10, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Fri-Sun 1:00, 2:05, 4:15, 5:20, 7:30, 8:35, 10:40; Mon-Thu 1:00, 2:05, 4:15, 5:20, 7:30 Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3D Fri-Sun 11:35am, 3:10, 6:25, 9:40; Mon-Thu 11:35am, 3:10, 6:25 Sisters Fri-Sun 11:05am, 1:55, 4:50, 7:40, 10:30; Mon-Thu 11:05am, 1:55, 4:50, 7:40 CENTURY RIO I-25 & Jefferson • 1 (800) 326-3264 Blade Runner: The Final Cut Sun 2:00; Wed 2:00, 7:00 The Good Dinosaur Sat-Thu 1:10, 4:00 The Revenant Fri-Thu 11:30am, 1:20, 3:15, 5:05, 7:00, 8:50, 10:45 The Forest Fri-Thu 11:35am, 2:20, 5:05, 7:50, 10:35 The Danish Girl Fri-Thu 12:45, 3:55, 7:05, 10:15 Point Break Fri-Wed 12:30, 3:35, 6:40, 9:45; Thu 12:30, 3:35 Joy Fri-Thu 1:00, 4:15, 7:30, 10:40 Concussion Fri-Thu 12:55, 4:10, 7:15, 10:30 The Hateful Eight Fri-Thu 12:05, 2:05, 4:05, 6:05, 8:05, 10:05, 11:15 Spotlight Fri-Sat 12:20, 6:55; Sun 6:55; Mon 12:20, 6:55; Tue 12:20; Thu 12:20 Daddy’s Home Fri-Thu 11:00am, 12:15, 1:40, 3:00, 4:25, 5:45, 7:10, 8:30, 9:55 The Big Short Fri-Thu 12:40, 4:00, 7:20, 10:40 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip Fri-Thu 1:30, 4:10, 6:50, 9:30 Sisters Fri-Thu 1:05, 4:20, 7:25, 10:35 Star Wars: The Force Awakens Fri-Sat 11:25am, 12:35, 1:45, 2:55, 4:05, 5:15, 6:25, 7:35, 8:45, 9:55, 11:05; Sun-Thu 11:25am, 12:35, 1:45, 2:55, 4:05, 5:15, 6:25, 7:35, 8:45, 9:55 Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3D Fri-Sat 12:00, 1:10, 2:20, 3:30, 4:40, 5:50, 7:00, 8:10, 9:20, 10:30, 11:40; Sun-Thu 12:00, 1:10, 2:20, 3:30, 4:40, 5:50, 7:00, 8:10, 9:20, 10:30 In the Heart of the Sea Fri-Sat 3:55, 10:20; Sun 10:20; Mon 3:55, 10:20; Wed 10:20; Thu 3:55 Krampus Fri-Thu 6:45, 9:30 Creed Fri-Thu 12:25, 3:45, 7:05, 10:25 The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2 Fri-Thu 12:25, 3:50, 7:15, 10:45 COTTONWOOD STADIUM 16 Cottonwood Mall • 897-6858 The Revenant Fri-Thu 12:00, 3:45, 8:00, 9:50 The Forest Fri-Thu 11:35am, 2:00, 4:30, 7:25, 10:00 The Hateful Eight Fri-Thu 11:40am, 3:50, 8:00 Point Break 3D Fri-Thu 3:45, 7:30 Point Break Fri-Thu 12:35, 10:25 Joy Fri-Thu 12:05, 3:10, 7:10, 10:20 Daddy’s Home Fri-Thu 11:30am, 2:05, 4:35, 7:15, 7:45, 9:55, 10:25 Concussion Fri-Thu 12:25, 3:30, 7:00, 10:10 The Big Short Fri-Thu 11:50am, 3:40, 7:00, 10:15 Sisters Fri-Thu 12:15, 3:15, 7:05, 10:10 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip Fri-Thu 11:40am, [22] WEEKLY ALIBI JANUARY 7-13, 2016 2:20, 4:50, 7:20 Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3D Fri-Thu 12:00, 2:50, 3:20, 6:40, 9:30, 10:00 Star Wars: The Force Awakens Fri-Thu 11:30am, 12:30, 3:50, 6:10, 7:10, 10:30 The Good Dinosaur Fri-Thu 11:45am, 2:10, 4:50 Creed Fri-Thu 11:45am 3:15, 6:35, 9:45 The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2 Fri-Thu 11:50am, 3:30, 6:50, 10:15 GRANDE 12 ALBUQUERQUE IMAX 3810 Las Estancias SW • Star Wars: The Force Awakens An IMAX 3D Experience FriThu 12;30, 4:00, 7:20, 10:30 The Revenant Fri-Thu 12:30, 4:00, 7:20, 10:40 The Forest Fri-Thu 11:00am, 1:30, 4:10, 7:15, 9:15, 10:30 The Hateful Eight Fri-Thu 12:30, 4:45, 8:40 The Good Dinosaur Fri-Thu 11:00am, 1:35, 4:10 Sisters Fri-Thu 10:50am, 1:40, 4:30, 7:20, 10:10 Point Break 3D Fri-Thu 7:15, 10:00 Point Break Fri-Thu 10:50am, 1:35 Daddy’s Home Fri-Thu 11:00am, 1:50, 4:50, 7:30, 10:20 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip Fri-Thu 10:50, 1:10, 4:10, 6:50 Concussion Fri-Thu 12:10, 4:35, 7:35, 10:35 Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3D Fri-Thu 12:00, 3:10, 6:30, 9:50 Star Wars: The Force Awakens Fri-Thu 11:00am, 2:10, 4:20, 5:30, 7:45, 8:40 GUILD CINEMA 3405 Central NE • 255-1848 The 2016 Albuquerque Film Festival Fri call for films and times The World of Kanako Fri-Sat 10:30 The Happiest Days of Your Life Sat-Sun 1:00 Peggy Guggenheim: Art Addict Sat-Mon 4:00, 8:00 Troublemakers: The Story of Land Art Sat-Mon 6:15 Theeb Tue-Thu 3:30, 8:15 My Friend Victoria Tue-Thu 6:00 HIGH RIDGE 12910 Indian School NE • 275-0038 Please check alibi.com/filmtimes for films and times. ICON CINEMAS ALBUQUERQUE 13120-A Central Ave. SE • 814-7469 The Revenant Fri-Tue 12:40, 3:50, 7:00, 10:10; Wed-Thu call for film times The Forest Fri-Tue 1:30, 3:40, 5:50, 8:00, 9:30, 10:10, 10:30; Wed-Thu call for film times The Hateful Eight Fri-Tue 11:30am, 3:00, 6:30, 9:55; WedThu call for film times Daddy’s Home Fri-Tue 11:30am, 12:30, 2:45, 5:00, 7:15, 9:30; Wed-Thu call for film times Point Break Fri-Tue 11:40am, 4:30, 7:00; Wed-Thu call for film times Joy Fri-Tue 11:30am, 2:10, 4:50, 7:30; Wed-Thu call for film times Star Wars: The Force Awakens Fri-Tue 12:40, 1:40, 3:35, 4:05, 4:35, 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 9:25, 10:25; Wed-Thu call for film times Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3D Fri-Tue 1:10, 10:00; WedThu call for film times Sisters Fri-Tue 11:30am, 2:05, 4:40, 7:15, 9:55; Wed-Thu call for film times The Good Dinosaur Fri-Tue 2:10; Wed-Thu call for film times MOVIES 8 4591 San Mateo NE • 1 (800) Fandango, express # 1194 The 33 Fri-Thu 12:00, 3:10, 6:20, 9:30 The Martian 3D Fri-Thu 12:40, 4:10, 7:50 The Martian Fri-Thu 11:30am, 3:00, 6:30, 10:00 Love the Coopers Fri-Thu 5:50, 9:00 The Peanuts Movie 3D Fri-Thu 2:20, 9:50 The Peanuts Movie Fri-Thu 11:50am, 4:50, 7:20 Hotel Transylvania 2 3D Fri-Thu 12:50, 3:20 Hotel Transylvania 2 Fri-Thu 11:40am, 2:10, 4:40, 7:10, 9:40 Goosebumps 3D Fri-Thu 3:50, 10:20 Goosebumps Fri-Thu 12:10, 7:30 Sicario Fri-Thu 12:20, 3:30, 7:00, 10:10 MOVIES WEST 9201 Coors NW • 1 (800) Fandango, express # 1247 Love the Coopers Fri-Thu 12:20, 3:20, 6:20, 9:20 The 33 Fri-Thu 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30 The Martian 3D Fri-Thu 2:30, 5:30, 9:10 The Martian Fri-Thu 12:10, 4:00, 7:30 Secret in Their Eyes Fri-Thu 12:40, 3:40, 6:40, 9:40 The Peanuts Movie Fri-Thu 12:00, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00 Hotel Transylvania 2 3D Fri-Thu 4:10, 10:00 Hotel Transylvania 2 Fri-Thu 1:00, 7:00 Goosebumps 3D Fri-Thu 3:50, 9:50 Goosebumps Fri-Thu 12:50, 6:50 RIO RANCHO PREMIERE CINEMA 1000 Premiere Parkway • 994-3300 The Revenant Fri-Thu 11:50am, 3:20, 6:50, 10:20 The Forest Fri-Thu 11:20am, 2:00, 4:40, 7:20, 10:00 The Big Short Fri-Thu 12:30, 3:40, 6:50, 10:00 The Hateful Eight Fri-Thu 11:45am, 12:45, 3:40, 4:40, 7:35, 8:35 Concussion Fri-Thu 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 10:05 Point Break 3D Fri-Thu 6:50 Point Break Fri-Thu 12:45 Joy Fri-Thu 11:10am, 2:10, 5:10, 8:10 Daddy’s Home Fri-Wed 11:00am, 1:35, 4:10, 6:45, 9:20; Thu 11:00am, 1:35, 4:10 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip Fri-Wed 11:40am, 2:10, 4:40, 7:10, 9:40; Thu 11:40am, 2:10, 4:40 Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3D Fri-Thu 12:35, 2:30, 7:25, 9:20 Star Wars: The Force Awakens Fri-Thu 11:05am, 11:35am, 3:00, 4:00, 5:55, 6:25, 9:50, 10:40 Sisters Fri-Thu 11:00am, 1:55, 4:50, 7:45, 10:40 The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2 Fri-Thu 3:35, 9:40 WINROCK STADIUM 16 IMAX & RPX 2100 Louisiana Blvd. NE • 881-2220 Please check alibi.com/filmtimes for films and times. JANUARY 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [23] Thursday JAN 7 8:00pm Doors WINTER METAL TRIBUTE I'M BROKEN (PANTERA TRIBUTE) SONS OF ICARUS (IRON MAIDEN TRIBUTE BAND) BACK IN BLACK (AC\DC TRIBUTE BAND) DOGSMACK (GODSMACK TRIBUTE) Friday JAN 8 8:00pm Doors LEFTOVER CRACK PEARS + DAYS N DAZE Saturday JAN 9 8:00pm Doors THROW THE TEMPLE + ANESTHESIA MY OWN IRIS (CO) + THE TALKING HOURS Sunday JAN 10 11:00am-3:00pm Doors PUNK ROCK FLEA MARKET Sunday JAN 10 8:00pm Doors TASCAM PRESENTS: THE ALBUQUERQUE BATTLE OF THE BANDS FINALS: DEJA VU AGAIN + THE ENCHANTED NOMADS FIVE MILE FLOAT + RED RAGE BEYOND THE TRIALS + DAYBREAK SHADOW REMAINS + WE THE FAUST THE NEW RELIC + ELI THOMAS + ACROSS IN VAIN Thursday JAN 14 8:00pm Doors MIC CLUB 35 STARRING CRYOGENIK + SKATA JAY HOSTED BY: SUBLMNL RNSONS MIC CLUB 34 CHAMP RILL + INT'L PETEY & DJ SHADOE DAVONTE KIDTANA + AML CORLEONE BENNY BROWNCOAT + MIC FEEDER ENT. DMIZE + PAYCHECK STUBBZ + DOPE BOYZ DIZZY VILLAIN + B WILLUS + KANNIBAL KARNIE Friday JAN 15 8:00pm Doors FALLEN PROPHETS CD RELEASE SHOW SUSPENDED + END TO END ECHOES OF FALLEN + ICEOLUS + DEFLESHMENT Saturday JAN 16 8:00pm Doors KID DINOSAUR CD RELEASE SHOW BEARD + UGLY ROBOT Thursday JAN 7 8:00pm Doors DOUBLE PLOW DEAD REBELS + THE HANKS Friday JAN 8 8:00pm Doors PERSONALS + TRAIN CONDUCTOR WASTED INC. + STAR CANYON Saturday JAN 9 8:00pm Doors WINTER WARRIOR TOUR 2016 MEGANOKE (AZ) MIC DELI + NICK FURIOUSSTYLE CAID + DJ INTRO Tuesday JAN 12 8:00pm Doors AMERICAN AQUARIUM ALEX MARYOL BAND Thursday JAN 14 8:00pm Doors THE SHACKS WASTED INC. + SLOAN ARMITAGE Friday JAN 15 8:00pm Doors SPOONFED TRIBE MERICAN SLANG Saturday JAN 16 8:00pm Doors LONN CALANCA BAND PINK FREUD (PINK FLOYD TRIBUTE BAND) [24] WEEKLY ALIBI JANUARY 7-13, 2016 MUSIC | SHow Up! Music Calendar THURSDAY JAN 7 PHOTO BY SPAZTACULAR Leftöver Crack Cold Times, Hot Shows! Four rockin’ gigs for a wintry town BY AUGUST MARCH ak tree, you’re in my way.” A line from “That Smell” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. “O I had a friend in art school that was fairly well off. He was a gun-toting, bronze pouring hipster from Chicago who always muttered this phrase as we were about to depart for any number of shows in Burque, back in the day. He ended up being an executive at Disney (goes to show what’s possible with an art degree) so go figure. That said, don’t let anything—except the cold, oaken specter of death—hold you back from checking out these shows this week here in our town. Thursday Okay, so there’s a show at Sister (417 Central NW) that you should definitely show up for on Thursday, Jan. 7. The gig features some of Burque’s baddest rock and pop outfits plus a band called Adult Beverage outta Califas. I listened to some of their output before the gig, especially for you, dear reader and will report that their gravelly yet ringing guitar sound, enhanced by dreamy, echo-laden vocals and drifting rhythmics might just be the ticket to a lo-fi pop paradise. They’ll be joined on stage by Train Conductor, a local band that hews to a traditional interpretation of psychedelic rock while embuing the genre with a masterful use of instrumentation and production techniques. Lilah Rose, a multi-instrumentalist who favors a ghostly form of electro-pop that emphasizes vocals, poetic narratives and synthesizers shares the bill with Tear Pressure, an up and coming energy rock ensemble. Three dollars in galactic credits will get 21+ listeners through the portal at Sister; the show starts at 8pm. Friday New York punk is a thing. For those of us who came up with a pronounced left coast and/or Middle America inclination, the form can seem a bit louche. That is, until further inspection reveals a sound that embraces many of the same political values and people fancied by the comrades in the Bay City, Inland Empire or Orange County. Such is the case with Leftöver Crack. The rock group is at Launchpad (618 Central SW) on Friday, Jan. 8. The quintet lives the hardcore aesthetic authentically, being proponents of a form of crust-inspired radical leftism that calls into question authority, religion and capitalism through tuneage that is riotously intense and provocatively propulsive. Interestingly, their guitarist, Brad Logan is a notable member of the Cali punk and ska scene, made famous in a song by Rancid as well as being a roadie for NOFX and Dance Hall Crashers. Leftöver Crack front man STZA (Scott Sturgeon) got his stage moniker employing the same quasimystical process used by members of the WuTang Clan; he’s serious as fuck. With bassist Alec Baillie—whose formative work in third wave ska outfit Agent 99 continues to be overlooked—and a revolving lineup of sidemen, Leftöver Crack is essential listening. This 13+ punk rock powerhouse can be witnessed for a mere 15 bones. It all begins at 8:30pm. Saturday Tune in on Saturday, Jan. 9, at Low Spirits (2823 Second Street NW) for a show by Meganoke AKA Meagan Jacobsen. She’s a multi-media artist with musical output that combines trip-hop beats, lofty lyricism and brain-whacking visuals into an experience that is elusively postmodern yet plangently primal in execution. Jacobsen’s output as Meganoke has much to do with her collaboration with enigmatic underground rap demigod and producer Riddlore; he’s produced three of her albums and his influence is felt as a timekeeper of sorts, organizing and setting boundaries for Meganoke’s wide-ranging, oceanic flow. Works such as 2013’s “Lord of the Dawn” touch the industrial as well as the ethereal with fierce efficiency. The Winter Warrior Tour also features Albuquerque-style hip hop from trio Mic Deli, the blues and funk informed rap of Caid and the inimitable underground sound of Nick FuriousStyle. Five Washingtons to get in, a fab 21+ crowd and a 9pm curtain; what more can you ask for? Tuesday If the precision, post-metal peculiarities of prog, technical and death metal (including but not limited to wanton experimentation with complex time-signatures, bottomless tuning strategies and scatological references to beat the band) are what you crave, then saunter on over to the Co-Op (415 Central NW) for this town’s iteration of the Tech Slam Tour 2016. Headliners Aethere incorporate a plethora of deconstuctive devices in the production of their signature sound: guitarist Garrett Wasson plays a nine-string axe, tuned A E A E A D G B E; his cohort Chris Tognetti handles a guitar that only has eight strings. Parasitic Ejaculation, a brutal death metal quintet outta Santa Cruz, Calif.—whose 2013 full length Rationing the Sacred Human Remains features a post-apocalyptic zombie theme—and El Paso’s Triumph Over Shipwreck open the evening’s dark and damnably dystopian discourse that begins at 6pm. Tickets cost $10; the Co-Op is an all-ages, drug- and alcohol-free concert environment. a BEN MICHAEL’S Gerald Lujan Latin Jam Session • 7pm • FREE BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE Planet Rock Dance Party • 9pm • FREE DIRTY BOURBON Randall King Band • country • 6pm • $5 HOTEL ANDALUZ Jesus Bas y MÁS • 7pm • ALL-AGES! LAUNCHPAD I’m Broken (Pantera Tribute) • Sons of Icarus (Iron Maiden Tribute Band) • Back in Black (ACDC Tribute Band) • Dogsmack (Godsmack Tribute) • 9pm • $5 LEO’S NIGHTCLUB Baby Bash • rap, hip-hop • 8pm • $25 LOW SPIRITS Double Plow • rock • Dead Rebels • The Hanks • 9:30pm • $5 MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras Steve Kern • 6pm • FREE THE RANGE CAFÉ, Bernalillo Open Mic/Jam • DeRangers • 7pm RIO BRAVO BREWING COMPANY Eryn Bent • indie, folk • 4pm • Last Call • punk rock • 6pm • FREE SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe Latin Night • VDJ Dany • hip-hop, rock, bachata, salsa • 9pm TRACTOR BREWERY WELLS PARK Thirsty Thursday • The Lymbs • acoustic rock • Andy & The Drews • 8pm • FREE TRIPLE SEVENS, Isleta Casino Karaoke • 9:30pm VERNON’S SPEAKEASY Bob Tate • solo piano • 6pm • FREE FRIDAY JAN 8 BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE Def~I • Akword Actwrite • Johnny James •Courtney Hampton • 9pm • FREE THE CO-OP Insubordinate Youth 10 Year Reunion • metal, punk • Zealous Grooves • Sundog • B Wrap Babeh • 7pm • $10 • ALL-AGES! DIRTY BOURBON Randall King Band • country • 6pm • $5 ELDORADO HOTEL & SPA, Santa Fe Wes & Mito • guitar duo, jazzamenco, rumba flamenca • 5:30pm ISLETA RESORT & CASINO: THE SHOWROOM The World’s Ultimate Elvis: Justin Shandor • 8pm • $15-$25 • See Event Horizon LAUNCHPAD Leftöver Crack • rock • PEARS • Days N Daze • 8:30pm • $15 LOUNGE 54 @ SANTA ANA STAR, Bernalillo David & Co. • variety • 9pm • FREE LOW SPIRITS Personals • Train Conductor • Wasted Inc. • 9pm • $5 LUCKY 66 BOWL, DEWAR’S PUB Karaoke • DJ DraZtiK • 9pm MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras Skip Batchelor • acoustic solo • 1:30pm • Stil Rockn’ • classic rock • 6pm • FREE NOB HILL BAR & GRILL DJ Ohm • 10pm • FREE PRIME, Rio Rancho SHANE • singer-songwriter • 6pm • FREE • ALL-AGES! PUEBLO HARVEST CAFÉ Calle 66 • salsa • all-you-can-eat pizza • 6pm • $10 • ALL-AGES! THE RANGE CAFÉ, Bernalillo Jazz West • smooth jazz • 7am • FREE • ALL-AGES! RIO BRAVO BREWING COMPANY Black Smoke Blues Band • blues rock • 6:30pm • FREE SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe Glitter • Queer Women’s Dance Party • DJ OONA • 8pm • $10 • DJ Dany’s Latin Fridays • The Alchemy Party • DJs Dynamite Sol & Poetics • 9pm • $7 STAGE @ SANTA ANA STAR, Bernalillo Ladies Night • DJ Andy Gil • EDM, hip-hop, Top 40 • 9pm • $0 for ladies with FB check in, $10 TIWA RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Bad Katz Trio +1 • 10pm TRIPLE SEVENS, Isleta Casino Brushfire • country • 9:30pm VERNON’S SPEAKEASY Calvin Appleberry • solo piano, jazz, R&B • 7pm • FREE SATURDAY JAN 9 BEN MICHAEL’S Afternoon Jam • acoustic, singersongwriter • 1pm • FREE • ALL-AGES! BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE URB 15 • Universal Battle Realm • 9pm • FREE • Universal Battle Realm Anniversary • rap battles • 9:30pm • $10 THE CO-OP Pop Punk Night • 6pm • $10 • ALL-AGES! DIRTY BOURBON Randall King Band • country • 6pm • $5 LAUNCHPAD Rock and Roll Winter Ball • Throw The Temple • alternative rock, hard rock • Anesthesia • My Own Iris (CO) • The Talking Hours • 9pm • $5 LAZY LIZARD GRILL, Cedar Crest Odd Dog • classic rock • 7pm • FREE Music Calender continues on page 26 JANUARY 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [25] LOUNGE 54 @ SANTA ANA STAR, Bernalillo David & Co. • variety • 9pm • FREE LOW SPIRITS Meganoke (AZ) • singer • Mic Deli • Nick FuriousStyle • Caid • 9pm • $5 LUCKY 66 BOWL, DEWAR’S PUB Karaoke • DJ DraZtiK • 9pm MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras Rock Bottom • country • 1:30pm • Dangerous Curvz • classic rock • 6pm • FREE NOB HILL BAR & GRILL DJ Ohm • 10pm • FREE PRIME, Rio Rancho Jeffrey Jones • blues, singersongwriter • 6pm • FREE • ALL-AGES! PUEBLO HARVEST CAFÉ Jacky Zamora • Brazilian jazz • all-you-can-eat pizza • 6pm • $10 • ALL-AGES! THE RANGE CAFÉ, Bernalillo Dos Coyotes • Latin duo • 7pm • FREE • ALL-AGES! RIO BRAVO BREWING COMPANY James Whiton • solo loop bass madness • 6:30pm • FREE SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe So Sophisticated • DJ 12 Tribe • 9pm STAGE @ SANTA ANA STAR, Bernalillo DJ Presto One • EDM, house • 9pm • $5-$10 TIWA RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Bad Katz Trio +1 • 10pm TRACTOR BREWERY WELLS PARK In the Mix: DJ Leftover Soul • 9pm • FREE TRIPLE SEVENS, Isleta Casino Brushfire • country • 9:30pm VERNON’S OPEN DOOR Shane • singer-songwriter • 6:30pm • FREE • ALL-AGES! VERNON’S SPEAKEASY Larry Freedman • solo piano • 7pm • FREE ZINC WINE BAR & BISTRO Jade Masque • Latin, funk • 9:30pm SUNDAY JAN 10 BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE JOBS • experimental • Future Scars • post-rock • Votives • punk, post-rock • 8pm • $5 LAUNCHPAD Albuquerque Battle Of The Bands Finals: Deja Vu Again • The Enchanted Nomads • Five Mile Float • Red Rage Beyond The Trials • Daybreak • Shadow Remains • We The Faust • The New Relic • Eli Thomas • Across In V • 4:15pm • $10-$15 VERNON’S SPEAKEASY Bob Tate • solo piano • 6pm • FREE MONDAY JAN 11 BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE Article 15 • Econarchy • Rudest Priest • Ot-Un-Et-Ir • 9pm • FREE THE CO-OP Hail the Sun • post-hardcore • Oranges • Makari • 7pm • $10 • ALL-AGES! LIZARD TAIL BREWING Open Mic Jam Night • Dave and Friends • 7pm TUESDAY JAN 12 BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE J. Bowra • Sagga Liffik • Deep Roots • Catapilla • 9pm • FREE THE CO-OP The Tech Slam Tour • Aethere • Parasitic Ejaculation • Triumph Over Shipwreck • 6pm • $10 • ALL-AGES! LOW SPIRITS American Aquarium • Alex Maryol Band • 9pm • $8 MINE SHAFT TAVERN, Madrid Cactus Slim & The GoatHeads Blues Jam • 7pm • FREE MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras Cowboy Scott • country • 6pm • FREE N’AWLINS MARDI GRAS CAFE Todd Tijerina • blues, rock • 5pm • FREE • ALL-AGES! THE RANGE CAFÉ, Bernalillo Ivan Rane • fingerstyle guitar • 6pm • FREE • ALL-AGES! TRACTOR BREWERY WELLS PARK Kamikaze Karaoke • 8pm • FREE ZINC WINE BAR & BISTRO Joe Teichman and TC Fambro • folk, country, blues • 8pm WEDNESDAY JAN 13 BEN MICHAEL’S Asher Barreras Jazz Jam Session • 7pm • FREE LIZARD TAIL BREWING ABQ Jazz Trio Open Jam • 7pm MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras Bella Luna • acoustic rock • 6pm • FREE POSH NIGHTCLUB Open Mic Comedy • Karaoke • 8pm • FREE SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe Flash Forward • DJ Poetics • ’80s, ’90s, disco • 9pm SUNSHINE THEATER Granger Smith • singer-songwriter, country • Earl Dibbles Jr • Drew Baldridge • 8pm • $17.50 TRACTOR BREWING COMPANY Solos on the Hill: Kyle Ruggles • loop pedal singer-songwriter • 8:30pm • FREE TRIPLE SEVENS, Isleta Casino Whisky and Women Wednedsay • DJ Remainz • 9:30pm [26] WEEKLY ALIBI JANUARY 7-13, 2016 MUSIC | IntervIew PHOTO COURTESY OF JESSICA MILLS Music Calender continued from page 25 The horn section of Citizen Fish: Miguel Reyes, Jessica Mills and Matt Dowse More than reality Allows A conversation with Jessica Mills BY AUGUST MARCH As we stood on the sidewalk off Central, well after I had stopped recording our interview, Jessica Mills turned to me and said, “You know, for a mediocre musician, I’ve had really good luck.” Whether you chock it up to luck or talent, Mills is an affable powerhouse, a Renaissance woman whose resume includes a book—My Mother Wears Combat Boots— published by AK Press in 2007, over a decade of work with the ultimate punk fanzine, Maximum RocknRoll and her own long-running zine, Yard Wide Yarns. And that’s to say nothing of her credentials as a musician. She was the first horn player in the ska band Less Than Jake, a band that was eventually signed to Capitol Records. The label gave Mills an expensive brand-new saxophone, which she quickly traded in for a bass guitar so she could play in the sludgy all female Reina Aveja. She’s played bass and horns in many other bands like Crustaceans and Molotonic, recorded with Against Me! and Latex Generation and toured with Citizen Fish and Forgetters; locally she guests on sax with Rudest Priest, plays in Nose Blonde and the newlyformed no wave band Sentence Fragments and occasionally makes some time to perform solo jazz at Outpost Performance Space. I’m exhausted just trying to chronicle her work, and I’ve surely left a lot out. “I’ve never been bored in my life,” Mills confided as we looked out over the December foot traffic in Nob Hill. “If I didn’t have some sort of creative outlet, I’d just lose my mind. I have to extend all of my minute free time into creative projects. I have to prioritize it.” That’s something that is truly remarkable about Mills; she always seems to be striving to create something meaningful within the many mediums she works. Her life as a musician started in eighth grade band class—it just so happened to be the only elective class left when Mills enrolled. She wanted to play the drums, but got stuck with the clarinet, quickly moving to first chair. “I was kind of the best of the worst … story of my life,” she said of that time before quickly adding, “but I couldn’t stand the clarinet. The saxophone was just cooler. It fit the personality that I was honing at that time.” During that same time Mills and her friend— self-described as “freaky, new wave pre-punk kids with funny haircuts”—founded The Nuclear Wave Dancers, a two piece that existed solely within the pages of spiral ring notebooks where the two scrawled lyrics. The Nuclear Wave Dancers never played a show, but, endearingly, Mills cites it as her first musical project. She still has the notebooks. Then, one summer her “bandmate” came back from a trip to England with a powerful discovery: punk rock. In her hometown there wasn’t much of a punk scene, but when she moved to Gainesville, Fla. for college she gained greater access to punk music, and not only that, but “there were women playing punk,” Mills said, “I never imagined I’d be able to do it before then. When I saw women playing punk music it changed my life.” She was inspired by those women playing local venues and icons like Laurie Anderson, Poly Styrene and Wendy O. Williams. These days she’s listening to G.L.O.S.S., Worriers, Screaming Females, Downtown Boys and Shellshag. As she talks about her diverse musical and artistic endeavors Mills reflected, “I don’t want to keep doing what I’ve done in the past, I want to do something new,” and she continues to do so despite full time work as an educator and a mother of two. She pauses and adds, “I’m gonna try to do it all. I want to do more than reality allows me to.” To cull your own inspiration from this local female musician playing across genres, keep an eye out for upcoming Nose Blonde and Sentence Fragment shows, stay keyed in to the roster at Outpost and scan the shelves of your local bookstore. a JANUARY 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [27] Free Will Astrology | Horoscopes by ARIES (March 21-April 19): John Steinbeck won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1962. His novel Of Mice and Men helped win him the award, but it required extra persistence. When he’d almost finished the manuscript, he went out on a date with his wife. While they were gone, his puppy Toby ripped his precious pages into confetti. As mad as he was, he didn’t punish the dog, but got busy on a rewrite. Later he considered the possibility that Toby had served as a helpful literary critic. The new edition of Of Mice and Men was Steinbeck’s breakout book. I’m guessing that in recent months you have received comparable assistance, Aries—although you may not realize it was assistance until later this year. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Remember back to what your life was like during the first nine months of 2004. I suspect that you fell just short of fulfilling a dream. It’s possible you were too young to have the power you needed. Or maybe you were working on a project that turned out to be pretty good but not great. Maybe you were pushing to create a new life for yourself but weren’t wise enough to make a complete breakthrough. Almost 12 years later, you have returned to a similar phase in your long-term cycle. You are better equipped to do what you couldn’t quite do before: create the masterpiece, finish the job, rise to the next level. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): To become a skillful singer, you must learn to regulate your breath. You’ve got to take in more oxygen than usual for extended periods, and do it in ways that facilitate rather than interfere with the sounds coming out of your mouth. When you’re beginning, it feels weird to exert so much control over an instinctual impulse, which previously you’ve done unconsciously. Later, you have to get beyond your self-conscious discipline so you can reach a point where the proper breathing happens easily and gracefully. Although you may not be working to become a singer in 2016, Gemini, I think you will have comparable challenges: 1) to make conscious an activity that has been unconscious; 2) to refine and cultivate that activity; 3) to allow your consciously-crafted approach to become unselfconscious again. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Ancient humans didn’t “invent” fire, but rather learned about it from nature and then figured out how to produce it as needed. Ropes had a similar origin. Our ancestors employed long vines made of tough fiber as primitive ropes, and eventually got the idea to braid and knot the vines together for greater strength. This technology was used to hunt, climb, pull, fasten and carry. It was essential to the development of civilization. I predict that 2016 will bring you opportunities that have metaphorical resemblances to the early rope. Your task will be to develop and embellish on what nature provides. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): British author Anthony Trollope (1815-1882) had a day job with the postal service until he was in his fifties. For years he awoke every morning at 5:30am and churned out 2,500 words before heading to work. His goal was to write two or three novels a year, a pace he came close to achieving. “A small daily task, if it really be daily,” he wrote in his autobiography, “will beat the labors of a spasmodic Hercules.” I recommend that you borrow from his strategy in 2016, Leo. Be regular and disciplined and diligent as you practice the art of gradual, incremental success. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Umbrellas shelter us from the rain, saving us from the discomfort of getting soaked and the embarrassment of bad hair. They also protect us from the blinding light and sweltering heat of the sun. I’m very much in favor of these practical perks. But when umbrellas appear in your nightly dreams, they may have a less positive meaning. They can indicate an inclination to shield yourself from natural forces, or to avoid direct contact with primal sensuality. I hope you won’t do much of that in 2016. In my opinion, you need a lot of face-to-face encounters with life in its raw state. Symbolically speaking, this should be a non-umbrella year. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Around the world, an average of 26 languages go extinct every year. But [28] WEEKLY ALIBI JANUARY 7-13, 2016 rob brezsny it increasingly appears that Welsh will not be one of them. It has enjoyed a revival in the past few decades. In Wales, it’s taught in many schools, appears on road signs and is used in some mobile phones and computers. Is there a comparable phenomenon in your life, Libra? A tradition that can be revitalized and should be preserved? A part of your heritage that may be useful to your future? A neglected aspect of your birthright that deserves to be reclaimed? Make it happen in 2016. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Fourteenth-century author Geoffrey Chaucer produced a collection of stories known as The Canterbury Tales. It became a seminal text of English literature even though he never finished it. The most influential book ever written by theologian Thomas Aquinas was a work he gave up on before it was completed. The artist Michelangelo never found the time to put the final touches on numerous sculptures and paintings. Why am I bringing this theme to your attention? Because 2016 will be an excellent time to wrap up long-term projects you’ve been working on—and also to be at peace with abandoning those you can’t. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A bottle of Chateau Cheval Blanc wine from 1947 sold for $304,000. Three bottles of Chateau LafiteRothschild 1869 went for $233,000 apiece. The mystique about aged wine provokes crazy behavior like that. But here’s a more mundane fact: Most wine deteriorates with age, and should be sold within a few years of being bottled. I’m thinking about these things as I meditate on your long-term future, Sagittarius. My guess is that your current labor of love will reach full maturity in the next 18 to 20 months. This will be a time to bring all your concentration and ingenuity to bear on making it as good as it can be. By September of 2017, you will have ripened it as much as it can be ripened. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In her poem “Tree,” California poet Jane Hirshfield speaks of a young redwood tree that’s positioned next to a house. Watch out! It grows fast—as much as three feet per year. “Already the first branch-tips brush at the window,” Hirshfield writes. “Softly, calmly, immensity taps at your life.” I suspect this will be an apt metaphor for you in 2016. The expansion and proliferation you have witnessed these past few months are likely to intensify. That’s mostly good, but may also require adjustments. How will you respond as immensity taps at your life? AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Centuries ago, lettuce was a bitter, prickly weed that no one ate. But ancient Egyptians guessed its potential, and used selective breeding to gradually convert it into a tasty food. I see 2016 as a time when you could have a comparable success. Look around at your life, and identify weed-like things that could, through your transformative magic, be turned into valuable assets. The process may take longer than a year, but you can set in motion an unstoppable momentum that will ensure success. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Imagine that a beloved elder has been writing down your life story in the form of a fairy tale. Your adventures aren’t rendered literally, as your waking mind might describe them, but rather through dream-like scenes that have symbolic resonance. With this as our template, I’ll predict a key plot development of 2016: You will grow increasingly curious about a “forbidden” door— a door you have always believed should not be opened. Your inquisitiveness will reach such an intensity that you will consider locating the key for that door. If it’s not available, you may even think about breaking down the door. HOMEWORK: WRITE A ONE-PAGE ESSAY ENTITLED “2016 IS THE YEAR I FIGURE OUT WHAT I REALLY WANT.” a Go to realastrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text message horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at (877) 873-4888 or (900) 950-7700. by CeCil adams Can blood be used as an egg substitute? BILLBOARD TO PLACE YOUR AD CALL (505) 346-0660 OR VISIT ALIBI.COM DISCOVER AIKIDO Have fun, learn self defense, and get in shape. Tue and Thurs 5:30 to 6:30 pm. Starts Tues. Jan. 12 Is it true that due to their similar protein composition, blood can be used as an egg substitute in baking and in ice cream? —Kathy Kudos, Kathy. As a result of your question, “Blood Cookie” is no longer just an extremely death-metal name for an album of children’s music—it’s also something we’ve actually whipped up in the Straight Dope Test Kitchen. As a general proposition, of course, cooking with animal blood has been popular across time and geography. Swedes and Finns use it in pancakes. Southeast Asian cuisines avail themselves of all manner of the stuff— pig, chicken, duck. Poles eat duckblood soup; in east Africa, the Maasai people drink cow’s blood straight up. The Brits and the Irish enjoy black pudding; the Spanish and French make blood sausages called morcilla and boudin noir, respectively. Getting closer to your question, pig’s blood is the thickener of choice in the Italian chocolate pudding sanguinaccio. In the US you’ll find animal blood sold and consumed mainly among immigrants of more recent vintage—like at Korean and Thai groceries. It’s made some headway, though, in high-end kitchens, probably thanks to the snout-to-tail trend that’s rolled through the culinary world in recent decades. Several years ago a Washington, D.C. restaurant called the Pig offered a frozen variation on sanguinaccio billed, inevitably, as “Sundae Bloody Sundae”; one critic sniffed that “the novelty was more exciting than the actual dessert,” and it seems no longer to be on the menu But insofar as the chef at the Pig did make something like chocolate ice cream using blood instead of egg yolks, here we see progress right along the lines you suggest. The Scandinavians are apparently at the forefront of this pursuit; the best source I found on the subject is Nordic Food Lab—an adjunct of the Copenhagen restaurant Noma, a mainstay on world’s-best lists—which exists as a sort of open-source testing ground for all sorts of outré culinary ideas. In 2014, NFL’s Elisabeth Paul published the results of an investigation into the possibility of blood as an egg replacer. Her arguments in favor are strong: Egg intolerance is a major food allergy among European children. Anemia, meanwhile, is everywhere a prominent nutrient deficiency; know what’s got a lot of iron in it? And the chemistry’s right. In egg white, six protein types interact to trap air when the white is agitated— say, by whipping. This is the first step in making a meringue, or in more technical terms a colloidal foam: tiny gas bubbles suspended in a liquid. Key in baking, though, is the protein ovalbumin, which coagulates when heated and so prevents collapse. Ovalbumin accounts for about 54 percent of egg-white proteins; conveniently, related albumins make up about 55 percent of the proteins in blood plasma. In theory, then, sure, this ought to work. What about in practice? Paul reported salutary results after using pig’s blood in place of eggs in recipes for sponge cake, meringue and ice cream; she also mixed it with vodka (after straining out a few alibi straight dope | adviCe from the abyss For info call 225-3656 or register online www.ABQAIKIDO.COM PTSD EVALUATIONS MEDICAL CANNABIS PROGRAM FREE CONSULTATIONS! www.PTSDpsychiatrist.com or 505-266-2909 MARIJUANA CARDS 21+ Qualifying Diagnoses (505) 299-7873 Military & Senior Discounts MedicalCannabisProgram.com $ WE PAY CASH FOR $ DIABETIC TEST STRIPS 505-859-3060 CASH FOR YOUR CAR OR MOTORCYCLE! Needing repairs, No Problem! Call Kenny, 362-2112. Sexaholics Anonymous 12 Step Recovery 899-0633 www.sa-abq.org TO LOVE US IS TO PLUG US! Help keep us in business and going strong by telling our advertisers that you saw their ad in the Alibi. Let the businesses where you spend your money know that you like the Alibi, and you expect them to like us, too. RUNNING LATE? DON’T WORRY! Billboard deadline has been extended to FRIDAY at 3pm. Call 346-0660 Seeking MEN who are on Probation/Parole/Pretrial for research study who DON’T use drugs Earn $300 at $20/hr. for 15 hrs of your time. Free taxi rides to and from appts Create an account online: http://goo.gl/m5AxNX or call 505-398-3639 HRRC# 10-315 HAROLD’S LAUNDRY Always an Attendant 24/7. Free WiFi. In-House Convenience Store. 75 Cent Wash. THE Cleanest, Friendliest, Most Affordable Laundry in Town. 1500 Girard NE. 268-9834. unwanted clots) into a cocktail dubbed the “Red Russian,” which was—per her terse but telling description—“only sipped once.” A key finding here was that pairing blood with something acidic, as in a sourdough bread, will go some way toward masking its, er, more assertive flavors. Unwilling to leave all the glory to the Danes, I called up my local butcher, who rendered unto me twice the volume of cow’s blood I'd requested (no pig’s was available), and gratis, which tells you something about local sanguinary demand. By the time I got to it the following day, much of it had coagulated into a slimy block. (I hadn’t asked, but this can be prevented by the butcher treating the blood with an anticoagulant, such as vinegar.) I whipped some of what was left with sugar; the process took maybe ten minutes longer than egg whites typically do, but eventually the mixture rose into a lofty and visually striking pink foam. The blood meringues fell in the oven, but that may just mean I should’ve whipped the stuff at still greater length. Next I tried the pastry qua non: the chocolate chip cookie, substituting, at the recommendation of NFL, 65 grams of blood per egg; in this case I also made a control batch. The results? The blood cookies came out of the oven about an eighth-inch shorter than the batch with a whole egg in it. This tracks with a 1994 Iowa State University dissertation in which researchers compared egg whites and bovine blood plasma in cake baking, finding that an egg-white cake boasted “slightly larger volume, significantly more crowned profile, and finer texture” than the plasma version. But come on: The fact that my cow blood produced a recognizable (and, I should add, edible) dessert at all is what I would call passing with flying colors—specifically, a greenish-gray hue seen in both the meringues and the cookies, which, I’ll concede, eaters might be justified in finding off-putting. Perhaps this suggests opportunities for future innovation. Try Our New Drop Off Service! Brand New X-Large Dryers. MENDY LOU PSYCHIC. Palm Reading & Tarot. 216 10th St. SW . 239-9824. www.mendylou.com Send questions to Cecil via straightdope.com or write him c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. 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English as a Second Language (ESL) teaching endorsement area certification will be accepted in lieu of Endorsement in Bilingual Education on the State of New Mexico School [30] WEEKLY ALIBI JANUARY 7-13, 2016 Personnel Licensure Level Three-A Instructional Leader 712 Secondary License. BS plus 5 yrs’ exp in same fields accepted in lieu of MS plus 2 yrs’ exp. Background check reqd. Resume to lmathis LM0920MJ Employment HOT LINE CHEF WANTED IN CORTEZ, CO Hot Line lunch chef wanted at a popular farm-to-table restaurant in downtown Cortez, Co. Full time, competitive salry. Professional training preferred. Start date is Jan. 28. Responsibilites: *Hands-on prep &cooking duties in a fast paced kitchen*Create daily lunch specials*Management of a small crew*Food & supply ordering*Kitchen scheduling*Assist with cost analysis & cost controls*Quality assurance*Kitchen w BY RYAN NORTH “Let Free Entertain You”—you know the freestyle drill. by Matt Jones Across 1 DIY handicrafts site 5 “If things were to continue like so ...” 15 “The Clothed Maja” painter 16 “Taken” guy 17 Beach bird 18 Tow-away zone destination 19 “10 Items ___” (checkout sign that drives grammarphiles nuts) 21 Ardent admirers 22 They may be collateral when buying new wheels 28 Recede gradually 30 Long-hitting clubs 31 Word before Jon or Wayne 32 No pro show, yo 36 Vigoda who’s still alive 37 Big name in toothbrushes 38 Vaccine target 39 Chuck an attempted threepointer into the stands, e.g. 43 Former British Poet Laureate Hughes 44 Multi-layered dessert popularized in 2015 45 Abbr. after a proof 46 “Go ahead, don’t mind me” 49 11th-graders’ exam (abbr.) 50 Carter and Spelling, for two 53 Cheat 6 Comedian Minchin 35 Paul of “Anchorman” 7 Savion Glover’s specialty 40 Weight training partner 8 PPO alternative 9 ___ START (Tobias’s oftmisinterpreted license plate on “Arrested Development”) 10 Highest Scrabble tile value 11 Animal in a Dr. Seuss title 41 Bargain-basement unit 42 “The Memory of Trees” Grammy winner 46 1990 NBA Finals MVP ___ Thomas 12 “Chronicles of Narnia” lion 13 Adult Swim fare, for short 59 Lying over 14 “Lord of the Rings” tree creatures 60 Gambles 20 Ancient Greek portico 47 Nutcase 48 Give a long-winded talk 49 Sgts.’ underlings 51 Edible seaweed used for 61 “Desperate Housewives” actress Hatcher 23 Place to keep your Tetleys and your Twinings 62 Summer dress uniform component, maybe 24 “Mrs. Murphy Mysteries” author ___ Brown 63 Cut down to size 25 Simile segment, maybe 26 Annoys by staying outside the lines? 55 Treasured document? Down 1 Brand in the frozen breakfast section 27 NYSE symbol for the company that keeps going ... and going ... Levin 2 Go from gig to gig 28 “Support Your Local Sheriff!” actor Jack 57 California red, briefly 3 They’re represented by fingers in charades 4 Conn. school 5 Half of the ‘80s synth-pop duo Yaz sushi 52 Roasting device 54 “Was ___ das?” 56 “A Kiss Before Dying” author 58 Suffix with winning 29 Benjamin Netanyahu’s nickname ©2016 Jonesin’ Crosswords 33 Full of memorable lines (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) 34 “Gold”-en role for Peter Fonda LAST WEEK CROSSWORD ANSWERS "Middle C"—no need for piano lessons here This week’s answers online at alibi.com. JANUARY 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI [31] [32] WEEKLY ALIBI JANUARY 7-13, 2016
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