newark fc

NEWARK
FC
May 2012
Website: www.pitchero.com/clubs/newarkflowservefc
Facebook: Newark Flowserve Football Club
Flowing in the Right Direction
Regardless of what’s happening on the pitch there are people off
the pitch working tirelessly to further improve the club and its
facilities. In this article we highlight some of the current
developments that will make for a brighter more sustainable
future for everybody involved at Flowserve FC.
Growing for the Future
John Mersh and Les Bruce have submitted a Grow the Game
application to Nottinghamshire FA, if successful Flowserve will
receive a grant of £5,000 over three years to develop a minimum of
two new teams. We will hear the outcome within the next few
weeks so watch this space.
Flowserve goes Brazilian
Following a number of recent discussions and meetings we are
delighted to announce that AFC Brazil will be relocating to
Lowfields. AFC have developed a football centre over the last three
years and are looking forward to registering an Under 8 team in the
New Newark Youth Football League for their first competitive
season. AFC also have an Under 7 team and a development squad
of 4 and 5 year olds. The partnership will mean that we make
better use of the pitch availability and new junior development will
start again at Lowfields with the prospect of the AFC teams
merging with NFFC in the future. In addition the Management
Team and parents at AFC will provide much needed support for the
Club and they will invest time and effort developing our growing
reputation as one of the most progressive clubs in the local
area. The Committee would like to welcome AFC Brazil to
Flowserve and we look forward to long and prosperous association.
Community Amateur Sports Club – CASC
The Social Club has registered with HMRC for CAS status, if
successful the club will benefit from a significant reduction in
rates, which will allow the sports club to re-invest in the facilities
and equipment. We expect to hear within the next few weeks
but if we are awarded CASC status we will hopefully see some
major improvements at Lowfields.
Cutting it Fine
At long last, thanks to fantastic efforts on the Fundraising front
we have managed to generate sufficient funds to allow
Flowserve grounds man Colin to replace his current mower with
a machine that is not held together with sticky tape, knicker
elastic and rust! Although Colin has made the best of what he
has had the old machine is ready to be put out to pasture and
will be replaced with a piece of kit that is altogether more
appropriate for the job required. It is hoped that Colin will take
delivery of his new wheels during the summer in time to get the
pitches looking good for next season. A special thanks to Donna
Broadley and Karen Bilton for their fundraising efforts.
The above is great stuff but it takes a lot of hard work and time
to pull applications together and if people think it is all about
money then they would be right. Flowserve is an expensive
operation to run so you can all do your bit by paying your subs
and supporting the club at every opportunity, don’t leave it to
everyone else, do your bit, others are!
A* Grades for Flowserve FC
Flowserve FC played host to the Schools Competition
on Saturday 24th March. In total 16 primary schools
entered the competition. The Schools organising
committee love Newark Flowserve FC, turning up on
the morning of the event they know that everything
will be ready for them. Colin provides 4 mini soccer
pitches and the usual suspects of Les Bruce, Ian
Toulson and John Mersh arrive in the early hours of
the night and rope the pitches off, set up the goals and
Respect barriers to make the event special for the
players. Young referees are recruited and Club
volunteers assist as mentors. The Schools Sports
Association donated £50 towards NFFC funds. Every
little helps!
Getting on the Right Side of the Ref
Getting on friendly terms with the ref during a game is
definitely a point you’ll find listed in the ‘Good Managers
Handbook’. Flowserve FC certainly did this having hosted
a three day Notts FA Young Referee’s course during the
Easter break which proved to be a huge success. The
course was full with 20 young referees enrolled which is
unusual to say the least. Our guests were made to feel
most welcome and will be returning next year, as well as
the referees, Flowserve arranged a friendly 11 aside
game between the Under 13’s and a combined Under 12
thanks to the efforts of Les Bruce, Mark James and
Donna B, this match enabled the young referee’s to get
some hands on experience whilst on the course and this
is something that the Referee Tutors would like to
introduce for future courses. The club also netted a hire
fee of £225 from Nott’s FA which will help with pitch
works during the summer.
Junior Team Round Up
U11 Sparks have given themselves a fighting chance of avoiding relegation from NNYFL Division 1 with a 4-2 victory over
Long Bennington. There last game is at home to Lowdham Colts Black on 2nd May & we wish Simon & the boys well.
U11 Flames have had a good season in NNYFL Division 2, sitting in 8th place with a couple of games to go and already safe.
With many high scoring games this season, they have been an exciting team to watch.
U12 Colts have won their last 2 games 4-1 & 2-1 against Bottesford to drag themselves out of the relegation zone. Having
finished their games, they now have to rely on other results to go their way to maintain Div 1 status.
U12 Lions have enjoyed an outstanding season, winning all 16 league games so far to secure the NNYFL Div 1 title & last
week completed the double by winning the cup 2-1 v Ordsall Rangers in atrocious conditions at Stapleford Lane.
Congratulations to the boys for a superb effort.
U13 United with one game to play have been victim to the withdrawal of teams from the league during the season, where
they have lost points from the table through no fault of their own. They have been the form team for the 2nd half of the
season and scoring for fun. Next season looks bright for Marks team.
It’s as Easy as 1-2-3!
Shop online and raise money! Have you heard about easyfundraising yet? It’s the easiest way to help raise money for
Newark Flowserve FC! If you already shop online with retailers such as amazon, M&S, Argos, John Lewis, Comet, Ebay
and Play.com, then we need you to sign up for free to raise money while you shop. Go to
www.easyfundraising.org.uk/causes/nffc and sign up to begin raising money when you make online purchases!
Upcoming Events
May the 4th Be With
You
Date: Friday 4th May
Location: Flowserve FC
The Men’s senior team invite everybody to their Star Wars themed night.
th
May 4 is upon us. It’s time to dig out your Jedi cloaks and wield your
light sabers and blasters. The rebellion against the empire starts at our
th
club house. May the force be with you on May 4 . (Fancy dress optional)
P.S. A message from Yoda – “Drink you must!”
FA Cup Final
Chelsea v Liverpool
BANK HOLIDAY
MONDAY
Date: Saturday 5th May
Location: Flowserve FC
Flowserve Sports & Social Club will be OPEN on Saturday 5th May
from 1pm for the F A Cup Final. Beer (ALL BEER) will be £2.00 a
pint.
Date: Monday 7th May
Location: Flowserve FC
Lager & Bitter Only £1.90 a pint
Jubilee Weekend
Saturday 2nd June 2012
Junior Football Tournament – starts 9.15am – 12.30pm
Junior Football Tournament – starts 1.45pm – 4pm
Disco in evening
Sunday 3rd June 2012
Adults Football Tournament – starts 9.30am – 5pm
6pm – 8pm Old time Music (Ivor Townsend) (Gordon Brooks/Walter
to contact The Oaks/Ghent House/Manthorpe House)
8pm – 9pm Bingo
9pm – late Disco
Monday 4th June 2012
12pm – 6pm Family Picnic Including:Scouts Band
Irish Dancers
(confirmed) Charlotte Hamilton Dancers
Jayne Spitz Dancers (confirmed) Chuter Ede School
John Hunt School
Grove School
Orchard School
Highfields School
Kids Disco
7.00pm – late Live Bands, Beacon lighting and Fireworks – Ticket only
There are some things left to be finalised for the Jubilee event. If you can help with anything from the list below then please
contact Zoe via email at zoe@tht1.com
1 x Disabled portable loo
Does anybody have any gazebos to loan
If anyone has any yellow hi vis vests we could do with some of those.
I also need commitments from volunteers for all 3 days. Some of us will be there for all 3 days
and will be camping on site so feel free to join us!
Senior Teams
Mixed Fortunes in April
It’s been a tough month for the first team with 3 losses in row.
The first team sit 7th in the premier division of the league having
played 20 games, with 4 games remaining there are still 12
points to play for. Despite the teams on the pitch results, off the
pitch results couldn’t be more contrasting. A massive win for
morale after a promising turn out at the team’s first club house
gathering. The highlight of the night coming late in to the
evening as all in attendance claimed victory in the 2nd game of
bingo. Some great performances with the dabbers, not a
number was missed as the boys made their debut in club house
bingo.
April has seen the reserve side win 2 out of 4 games taking 6
points from a possible 12. Currently placed in 5th in the second
division of the league the reserves have 2 games remaining and
can look to end the campaign in a respectable league position.
Facebook
Chat with
Reece Self
So last week we interviewed 1st team captain
Lee Bowditch, on the other end of the age
scale it's your turn this week. Being one of the
youngest players you seem to have fitted in to
the club very well, what do you think that's
down too?
I think it's down to all the lads treating me as an
adult, and making me feel welcome e.g. Banter and
peeve!! It's what footballs all about.
If you played for as long as Lee you could be at
the club for the next two decades! You'd be
like the Paul Scholes of Newark Flowserve,
hopefully you'll be better at tackling though!
At this present moment in time can you see
yourself at the club for the foreseeable future?
Yeah I can, we've got a lot of young players and
we'll only get better. Especially when we get rid of
the old gits like Adam and Rob!
1st team manager Dozzle has eyed you out as
a potential captain for the future, do you feel
like that's a role you'd like to have when
you've got more experience?
Yeah I'd love that, but I'm not sure if I’d live up to it
because 'I'm not a good player yet' quoted from the
famous Dozzle!
What would you like to achieve next season?
Top 4, have more than 1 top goal scorer! Have loads
more events like 'may the 4th be with you' and
maybe bag myself some goals!
Your favourite trick must be the nutmeg, did it
take you a long time to master?
I think the nutmeg just came with how much of a
cheeky git I am!
It's the Flowserve ‘May the 4th Be With You’
event on Friday 4th May, are you attending? If
so will you be dressing up and what will you be
dressing up as?
I will be there, and I'll be dressing up. Not too sure
yet though, but it's top secret anyway!
I'd say you have a bit of a resemblance to
Anakin Skywalker. Do you know what his
significance was in the Star Wars movies? My
only advice to you is don't give in to the dark
side! (RHP, Coddington, Farndon)
I'll take that as a compliment because sky walker is
the gera! Don't worry I have no dark side in me
Who's your favourite music artist?
My favourite artist has to be James Morrison, what a
man! He’s got a beard like you as well Tooney.
I had the beard before he did!
Whose your favourite footballer and why?
Favourite footballer is probably Gareth bale, reminds
me of Adam foster, apart from Bale isn't a big crap
whale!
Thanks for giving us your time on Facebook,
you can now get back to poking your friends
and liking their updates!
Agony Aunt Leona
Try facing the corner of the room when showering. If you wax your
back then now’s the time to stop. A hairy back is a real sign of
strength and your captain will feel threatened. If you haven’t got a
hairy back then make sure you don’t drop the soap.
Dear agony aunt. The Newark Advertiser recently printed a photo of
me on the sports pages making a horrendous tackle. The picture
really showed off my negative points of my body and it’s made me
really self-conscious. I’m finding it really difficult to concentrate in
games. Every time a spectator pulls a phone out of their pocket I think
it’s the paparazzi trying to snap another bad shot of me. Please help!
Martyn R
It’s time to forget what you don’t like about yourself by creating lots
of things you love about yourself! If you’re worried about your
image then hit the gym! There are plenty of low cost gyms out
there. Flowserve FC hold a free 5 a side session every Thursday, this
will help with your fitness and your tackling. A good short term fix is
clingfilm, 3 metres of the stuff will hold any abdomen in place for 90
minutes. Good luck!
Resident Agony Aunt Leona answers your questions
every month!
Dear Leona, I have a problem… I find that bits of my anatomy drop
below the level of the bottom of my shorts, thus revealing them to
the world – and more scarily – to Adam Britten!
I'm a 21 year old male and I think I have trouble with alcohol. I don't
drink a lot but when I do, I have too much which causes me to make a
show of myself. I don't know when to stop and then for days I feel
guilty and ashamed. All my self-confidence is lost. I get so down about
myself which leaves me feeling depressed and sometimes I don't
think I deserve to live. I've got myself in so many bad situations - I'm
very scared about that because I could potentially be putting myself
in danger. I'm so paranoid about what people think of me I feel like I
need to hide and never come back. I've been like this for years and I
don't know how to stop or help myself. It feels like I have no control
and that I'm ruining my life.
Matt Janaway
A common problem in the 70’s and 80’s when shorts were made a
very tight and short fit. I suggest wearing lycra shorts and ensure
you’re the first to arrive for matches, this way you get first pick of
the biggest shorts in the bag. If this doesn’t work try playing a more
right sided game, this way you will never be interacting with Adam
Britten at left back.
Dozzle often puts on ‘Sausage Corner’ where he sells hotdogs in a
bun. What percentage of the hotdogs actually contains meat?
Jimmy Rusby
‘Which’, consumer rating agency, mark ‘Sausage Corner’ 4****.
Unfortunately the nutritional information table has been peeled off
every jar of sausages so nobodies quite sure about the meat
content. According to Chinese folklore every sausage will bring you
another goal. So all I can say Jimmy is keep eating those sausages!
Dear agony aunt. I’m developing a complex about myself. Every time
I take a shower our captain walks in to the shower room and makes
me feel inadequate. How do I get around this problem, I’ve tried
using both shower rooms but he’s always there.
st
Concerned 1 Team Player
This is a typical trait all captains have. Just like gorillas in the wild
your captain is exerting his dominance over the pack. It’s his way of
saying ‘I’m the man of this shower room, move over and give me
the hot water’.
Me in Hooters wearing an
employee’s uniform
Adam Britten
Adam, drinking isn’t always the answer to life’s questions. Too much
can have a real negative impact on your health physically and
mentally. Try something new that you’ve never done before,
knitting for example. These new activities will give you a renewed
passion for life. By no means do you need to completely remove
yourself from social gatherings where alcohol is available. If you
don’t want to drink you can always have a Panda pop. Try to see
positives in what you currently deem to be negatives in your life.
Your picture for example, most people your age would love
employment, especially at Hooters. Remember small changes will
make a big difference in your life.
Competitions
Aprils Spot the Ball Winner
Congratulations to Nicky Holland winner of Aprils Spot the Ball competition! James Crampton was second closest but
Nicky was a clear winner with his guess. Nicky wins £10 with the other half of the money raised going to the senior
teams recently set up fund.
Mays Spot the Ball
To the left is a picture taken from our home
against Wheatsheaf FC this season. Full size
A4 competition sheers are available from
Flowserve on Sundays and at Thursday 5 a
side sessions at the Newark High School.
Mark clearly with a cross where you believe
the ball to be, leaving your name and a
contact number at the bottom of the page.
Each guess costs £1, 50% will go to the
prize money and the other 50% will go to
the senior team fund.
The winner will be announced on Sunday
27th May.
Fantasy Premier League 2012/13
COMING SOON
We’ll be kicking off the new Premier League
season with Fantasy Football. Entry will be £5 per
team with a cash prize and trophy for the winner
and a smaller cash prize and a medal for the
runner up. More info to follow in next month’s
club newsletter.
First Team Statistics
Premier Division Table
First Team Goal Scorers Chart (Updated Jan 2012)
Unfortunately the information available on the alliance site hasn’t been updated since January. Next
season the chart will be updated each month.
Games played/Goals
Reserve Team Statistics
Second Division Table
Reserve Team Goal Scorers Chart (Updated Jan 2012)
Unfortunately the information available on the alliance site hasn’t been updated since January. Next
season the chart will be updated each month
Chris Wareham
13
9
0.69
Thomas Perkins
6
0.85
1
Matt Janaway
Ryan Foster
2
Oliver Gee
2
2
Danny Wilson
2
Callum McGarrigle
2
Billy Hurst
2
0.5
1.0
0.25
0.5
0.25
1
Joshua Smithson
1
0.33
0.25
0
Goal per
game
ratio
3
3.00
Ben Arnold
Games
Played
Goals
Scored
7
4
8
4
8
3
4
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
Name
Contact No.