End of an Era With the Passing of Lou Poulos

The Showd
own
Page 20
Founded 1936
ARIZONA LICENSED BEVERAGE ASSOCIATION, INC.
Edition 1– 2012
End of an Era With the Passing of Lou Poulos
By Andy Limber
He went quietly in the dark early morning hours of
Wednesday, Dec. 28, 2011, just two weeks before his 83rd
birthday, this man who made such an enormous imprint on
Arizona’s liquor industry and the state’s political landscape.
The word “legend” is often trivialized by too casually
applying it undeservingly to this person or that. But it’s a
word not diluted in the least when associated with Lou
Poulos, who was unique in a field of
larger than life contemporaries, such
as Jim Hensley, Bill Clements,
Harold and Dorothy Finley, and
Arthur Pearce, among others.
Lou was rooted deep into the
earth of Arizona, amidst the digging,
grinding and pounding of the bountiful copper mines that gave rise to
Miami, the place of his birth, and
neighboring Globe, some 85 miles
east of Phoenix.
His heritage was also steeped in
the ancient culture of the Hellenes,
as both of his parents had emigrated
from Greece to the United States
in the early 20th century. Lou’s
father, Demetrios Poulopoulos—who
would later “Americanize” his name
to James Poulos—began his quest for
the American dream working on
the railroads. His wife, Despina,
was originally from a neighboring
village.
“One might think my mother was dismayed by her new
home in America, a one-horse town,” Lou once light-heartedly reminisced. “But Miami was a step up from her onemule village in Greece.”
The Poulos family grew and grew to five girls and three
sons, including Lou. Another male child, died in infancy.
When he was two years old, Lou contracted poliomyelitis,
often called polio or infantile paralysis, for which there was
no cure. When he was eight, he was taken to San Francisco
for surgery on one afflicted leg.
“It was 1937,” recalled Lou, “and I saw the Golden Gate
Bridge being constructed. I was amazed by the cables going
across the water.”
Although he would never regain full use of his legs, there
was little in life that would escape Lou’s involvement. In
1929, his father and a partner started the wholesale Farmers
Produce Company. Poulos managed the Miami operation,
while his partner ran Farmers in Phoenix, covering an entire
downtown city block.
At the end of Prohibition in 1933, the elder Poulos
acquired one of the first wholesale liquor licenses in Arizona
and began selling alcoholic beverages to retailers. Lou got his first
taste of the business by helping his
father in the Miami office taking
orders for liquor over the phone.
In 1943, Poulos’ partner died, and
he moved with his family to Phoenix,
where Lou entered North High as a
freshman.
Despite walking with leg braces
and crutches, Lou had been driving a
car since he was twelve when he
lived in Miami. Although not exactly
of legal driving age, the police chief
in the small town looked the other
way. Besides, there were few vehicles on the road in those days.
From that time on and his first
car—a 1932 Ford with a rumble
seat—which he drove to high school,
Lou would not be denied the freedom
of going where he wanted, when he
wanted, for the rest of his life behind
the wheel of his own automobile. This was one of the testaments to Lou’s steadfast determination to live life on his
terms, not the disease that damaged his legs.
After graduating from then-Arizona State College in
Tempe in the early 1950s, Lou worked for his father’s wholesale produce and liquor business. That downtown area,
where the Phoenix Suns and Arizona Diamondbacks and
their massive modern playing venues now call home, was
then a skid row referred to as “The Deuce.” It was there that
Lou came to know some of the famous and infamous of
the era.
Architect Frank Lloyd Wright was a regular customer,
strutting into Farmers with his cape and cane, ordering
cases of Irish whiskey and being notoriously late in
making payment.
Continued on page 3
The ALBA Reporter is published four times annually by the
Arizona Licensed Beverage Association, a non-profit Arizona
corporation, 77 E. Columbus Ave., Suite 102, Phoenix, Arizona
85012. Telephone: (602) 285-1092 – Fax: (602) 285-1258
Copyright 2012.
Circulation: Bulk mailed to ALBA members, associate members,
other Arizona licensees and to key business, political, law
enforcement and education leaders in Arizona and elsewhere.
Style: Slightly modified Associated Press Stylebook.
Letters to the Editor: Always welcomed. Maximum 200 words.
Subject to editing for length and clarity. Send by regular mail to
ALBA office or e-mail to alimber@cox.net
Managing Editor…………………...Andrew A. Limber
Graphics/Layout…………………...Joseph Belfiore
Advertising Director……………....Fred Mallaire
Proofing/Production Assistants……April Sutter/Deborah Belfiore
Historian…………………………...Lou Poulos
Printing…………………………….Brickprint
Circulation………………………....American Bindery
Contributing writers: Drew Alexander, Alan Everett,
Don Isaacson, David T. Kratt, Andy Limber,
Fred Mallaire and Bill Weigele.
Scan this QR barcode with
your smart phone to visit
the ALBA website
77 E. COLUMBUS AVE. #102 PHOENIX, AZ 85012
1-800-453-5232 602-285-1092 FAX 602-285-1258
ALBA e-mail address: foralba@msn.com
President Bill Weigele: bweigele@albainc.org
Business Mgr. April Sutter: asutter@albainc.org
Managing Editor: alimber@cox.net
Advertising Director: frmallaire@q.com
Graphics/Ad Production: belmail@fastq.com
Advertising Specifications: Display ads not limited to liquor
industry or related. ALBA reserves the right to reject any
advertisement deemed inappropriate or inconsistent with the
standards of this publication.
Full Page: 7.75” wide x 10” high (no bleed ads)
Half Page: Horizontal – 7.75” wide x 4.875” high
Half Page: Vertical – 3.8” wide x 10” high
Quarter Page: Horizontal – 7.75” x 2.8” high
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Specifications for submitting camera-ready ads:
PDF format: Grayscale, hi-quality setting, original files should
be hi-res also.
Jpeg format: Grayscale at 300 dpi.
Tiff format: Grayscale at 300 dpi.
There will be a production charge for ads that must be adjusted
to conform to the above specifications.
Visit ALBA’s website: www.albainc.org
ALBA
Email: foralba@msn.com
website: www.albainc.org
OFFICERS
President
Bill Weigele
Phoenix 602-309-7202
Vice President
Robin Cantrell
Branding Iron
Steakhouse & Lounge
Safford 928-651-2411
Vice President
David Delos
Tony’s Cocktail Lounge
Glendale 602-938-1956
Secretary
Brad Henrich
Shady’s
Scottsdale
Treasurer
Fred Mallaire
Phoenix 602-526-7870
DIRECTORS
Anthony Bartoli
Bunkhouse Lounge
Phoenix
Andy Ingram
Four Peaks Brewing Co.
Tempe
Bill Riddle
Valle Luna
Glendale
Mark DeSimone
Hidden House
Phoenix
Wendy Jack
Wendy Jack’s
Lounge & Rest.
Avondale
Janie Riddle
Valle Luna
Glendale
Chris Espinoza
Valle Luna
Phoenix
Betty Grotewold
Phoenix
Jerry Grotewold
Phoenix
George Hollingsworth
Lions Den
Pinetop
2 ALBA Reporter
Barbara Jensen-Zgonc
Phoenix
Jim Shaffer
Johnny’s Other Place
Yuma
Allen McCarthy
Duke’s Sports Bar
Scottsdale
Bob Smith
Empty Pockets
Holbrook
Dave Michelson
The Palace
Prescott
Dave Werner
The Dirty Drummer
Phoenix
Matt Minakes
Bisbee
Frankie Zanzucchi
Pantera
Phoenix
ALBA-Business Manager
IN MEMORIAM
Paul Klett
1911-2007
April Sutter
77 E. Columbus Ave. #102
Phoenix, AZ 85012
602-285-1092 or
800-453-5232
Past Directors
ALBA-Admin. Assistant
Phil Bay
1935-2005
Deborah Belfiore
77 E. Columbus Ave. #102
Phoenix, AZ 85012
602-285-1092 or
800-453-5232
Past President
Tony Marino
1936-2004
James Poulos
1959-2009
Louis Poulos
1929-2011
Lou Poulos
Continued from page 1
At an area bar, Lou and a friend would sit for hours with
World War II Marine hero Ira Hayes, one of the American
flag raisers atop Mount Suribachi on Iwo Jima, thinking,
well-meaning but naively perhaps, that they could talk the
Pima Native American out of his alcoholism problem.
Long before the famed Supreme Court case that would
make legal history, Ernesto Miranda worked for tenants at
Farmers and was well known by Lou. He also knew
Miranda’s defense attorney who would be catapulted to
national recognition, Phoenician John Flynn. This landmark
case established the Miranda warning or “Mirandizing”
against self-incrimination of arrested crime suspects by
police.
Lou was widely recognized and respected in the liquor
industry and the Arizona community as a whole from the
time he was a young man. But he really came into his own
when he developed a chain of drive-thru liquor stores, which
were launched from his father’s business. Farmers Liquors
was the first retail liquor chain in the state, with some 15
locations throughout the Valley of the Sun.
Financially astute and with a keenly enterprising mind,
Farmers Liquors under Lou’s management prospered. While
he was building his own business, he was also mindful of
the importance of all three tiers of the industry—the product
producers, wholesalers and retailers—and the impact
of political legislation and the people who made those
decisions.
Early on, Lou became active in the Arizona Licensed
Beverage Association (ALBA), founded in 1936 to protect
liquor licensees against unfair legislation. He was largely
responsible for putting teeth into ALBA by hiring professional lobbyists to fulfill the mission of the organization.
Serving on the Board of Directors and Executive Committee
for decades, Lou was also the association’s longest serving
treasurer—45 years.
Although he had no political aspirations for himself, Lou
was deeply ingrained in the people and mechanisms that
operate every level of government, from municipalities to
counties to the state. He was very much aware that as a regulated industry, the state’s Department of Liquor Licenses
and Control (DLLC) had to be impartial and even-handed in
its enforcement of Title 4 liquor law. To this end, he became
close to every Director since the 1950s, and in some
instances had a voice in their selection by the governor at
the time.
Whether it was the airing of ideas, seeking reliable
advice, or organizing campaign fund-raising, Lou was the
go-to man for anything political. Your party affiliation didn’t matter to him. Nor did skin color, ethnic background,
religion, social status or gender. Who you were as a person,
and your qualifications for public office, are what he
weighed in his mind to determine his support or not. Lou’s
stamp of approval didn’t guarantee election, but it meant
something, something of singular value to the candidate that
could not come from anyone else.
Love for Lou began to blossom in, of all places, a bowling alley—the Gold Spot, across the street from the
Westward Ho Hotel at Central Avenue and Fillmore in
Phoenix. Among a gathering of Greek Orthodox teenagers
one day in the late 1940s at the Gold Spot was a slim,
pretty brunette girl named Georgia Hotis. Over time, the pair
dated, and on January 30, 1955, Lou and Georgia were
married. Their wedding reception was at the Westward Ho,
overlooking the couple’s first meeting place, the Gold Spot
Bowling Alley.
The 57-year union would prove to be a lovingly solid
one, producing a daughter, Deanne, and two sons, James
and Alex.
Over the years, Lou had earned such affection and
respect from family, friends, political figures and members
of the liquor industry that he was alternately referred to by
the nicknames of the “governor,” the “godfather,” and the
“big guy.” Lou would smile at such references, simultaneously flattered by them and maybe just a little embarrassed.
How did you know if Lou Poulos liked you?
You got teased. Unmercifully. He would zero in on some
little flaw or habit, then, with a mischievous grin and a glint
in his eyes exaggerate it with a brief barrage of verbal ribbing that brought a wave of laughter from everyone nearby,
including the ‘victim.’ The beauty of it was that Lou’s words
were on the mark but never mean-spirited or insulting. It
wasn’t personal. It wasn’t business. It was Lou being Lou.
He elevated teasing to a high art form.
About once a month, Lou convened his small inner circle
of poker pals, loving the game, along with the back and forth
banter over the table, the subjects ranging from politics and
business, to football and the big news story of the day. Lou’s
favorite version of poker was seven-card stud, with the low
hole card wild and the high spade in the hole winning half
the pot. This was known as ‘Lou’s game,’ with no further
explanation required by the dealer to the other players.
This extraordinary and generous man, with his unswerving devotion to his family, his faith, his friends, his community, and to the industry that he was so instrumental in
shaping for over half a century is, in the full context of the
word, legendary.
When Lou was a youngster, the iconic George Herman
Ruth, Jr., best known as “Babe” Ruth, was still knocking
baseballs clear out of the park and was every boy’s hero.
The Babe might have been talking to Lou when he said:
“Heroes get remembered, but legends never die. Follow
your heart, kid, and you’ll never go wrong.”
Lou Poulos did. And he never went wrong. v
(Photo courtesy of the Poulos family.)
ALBA Reporter 3
Veteran attorney-lobbyist Don Isaacson and his firm, Isaacson
& Moore, P. C., are important to ALBA’s ongoing mission of
protecting Arizona liquor licensees against unfair legislation. Don’s
unique insight and experience always makes his commentaries on
issues especially pertinent to our association’s members.
Further Liquor Law Changes Loom as 2012 Session Begins
By Don Isaacson, Isaacson & Moore, P. C.
The 2012 legislative session began on January 9. For
the first time, maybe ever, the leadership of the House
and Senate has been drawn from the same rural district
in Arizona. Speaker Andy Tobin lives in Chino Valley
and Sen. Steve Pierce lives in rural Yavapai County. The
result is that the Yavapai County area will have more
firepower than ever before.
As a follow-up to the last two years of significant
liquor legislation, 2012 also promises to deal with a
number of liquor issues. First, the Arizona Craft
Brewers Guild, whose members also play a significant
role in ALBA, is proposing to increase the current
gallonage cap that exists for microbreweries.
The current cap is 40,000 barrels, which is now
becoming a hindering limit as Arizona’s very successful
microbreweries plan for expansion in the near and intermediate future. While a specific number has not been
agreed on at this time, numbers being discussed would
provide significant expansion capacity for Arizona’s
microbrew industry.
The microbrew industry nationally has become a
major part of tourism promotion efforts. Similar to the
effect wine industries have on the tourism industry in
California, Washington and Oregon, and to a lesser
extent in Arizona, the growth of microbreweries has
also created a tourism attraction in a number of western
states, including Colorado and California.
While the recession has flattened growth in many
segments of the Arizona hospitality and liquor industry,
the microbrewery sector has continued to experience
strong growth. It is our understanding when this subject
was raised to the Arizona wholesale community, they
reacted favorably and continue to participate constructively in the go-forward decision to raise the cap.
Another significant issue that will likely be
addressed is a revisiting of the subject of limitations on
city fees and taxes. Section 9-500.06 has provided a significant barrier to the ability of many cities to single out
the liquor industry for discriminatory taxes and fees.
Last year, the previous exemption for smaller cities was
eliminated, and now all licensees are protected from
4 ALBA Reporter
that law’s basic provisions.
However, there is currently no protection for a
hospitality business located in a city that charges only
the hospitality business for business fees; the discriminatory limit is currently in terms of not being raised
higher than the general fee or sales tax structure. ALBA
will propose and advocate for a limit on hospitality-only
fees. ALBA will also advocate for limitations on
new increases on general liquor application and
renewal fees.
Another area which ALBA wants to address is to
achieve a balance between the legitimate membership
and guest use of private clubs versus abuse of the
“guest” status in a way that allows any patron to benefit from the private club status. As everyone knows, private clubs serve a valuable purpose. In Arizona, they
also enjoy a competitive advantage over other liquor
licensees by virtue of the fact that smoking is permitted,
doors can be locked, and pull-tab games can be
operated.
ALBA is fully supportive of its non-profit club
members and has advocated in many ways on their
behalf in the past. However, ALBA does not support the
illegitimate use of “guest” status as a way to bring in
more revenue. This simply provides an unfair competitive advantage against other liquor licensees. ALBA
will work to achieve a balance of both interests in 2012
legislation.
There will be other more mundane changes proposed as well, including providing consistent sampling
practices. Other issues that may be addressed include
verifying that there does not have to be a hearing at the
Liquor Board once an issue has been resolved prior to
the hearing, and providing a higher level of reimbursement for Liquor Board members who attend that body’s
meetings.
In subsequent editions of the ALBA Reporter, we
will report progress on 2012 legislation. In the meantime, the association and I welcome comments from
all members on pending liquor legislation and other
matters. v
ALBA’s Lobbyists Score a Big One in Law Change
By Fred Mallaire, Chairman, Government Relations Committee
Arizona Senate Bill 1200 went into effect January
1, 2012. This allows for a reduction from one year to
six months for a convicted first-time low-level DUI
offender who has been required to have an interlock
device installed on his or her vehicle.
This piece of legislation was the result of ALBA’s
lobbyists, Don Isaacson and Norm Moore, working
with the sponsor of the bill, Sen. Linda Gray (R-Dist.
10). She was one of the legislators that took a very
hard line in 2007, successfully convincing lawmakers to make Arizona DUI laws some of the toughest
in the nation. Don was able to convince Sen.
Gray that our laws were much too harsh for
first-time offenders and a reduction was in the best
interests of all.
ALBA initiated the discussion with Sen. Gray and
took the lead in the industry to see the legislation
through to its final approval.
Such endeavors by ALBA in working with
reasonable legislators on issues that impact retail
liquor licensees is an example of why you should
be a member of the Arizona Licensed Beverage
Association.
As always, since 1936, our mission is the protection of your right as a liquor licensee to sell and serve
a legal product without having unfair legislation
impede your business. v
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly,
eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
—Lucille Ball
ALBA Reporter 5
Bill Weigele,
ALBA President
Arizona’s Liquor Industry Loses
a Pioneer and Icon
On December 28, I lost a mentor and a dear friend
when Lou Poulos passed away at his home in
Phoenix with his family at his side.
Some of you in the hospitality industry may
remember him as a person with leg braces and
crutches, the man who would accompany me to
various industry events and fundraisers. Actually, the
opposite was true. It was I who had the pleasure of
going along with Lou Poulos to those events.
As a new Series 6 licensee in 1970, I knew very
little of the history and people of Arizona’s liquor
industry. I was only interested in the daily goings on
in my new world as a bar owner. I was oblivious to
anything other than I had to have a license and must
buy my products from a wholesaler.
We did not have Dram Shop liability in those
days, so life was good, and I thought as a bar owner
I had it made. I soon learned how naïve and uninformed I was.
In early 1972, Lou Poulos and Paul Klett came to
visit me at the Scotch Mist, my bar in Scottsdale. I
can still picture them coming in the front door and
Paul commenting how dark it was. I never noticed
that Lou was handicapped. They asked me to join the
Arizona Licensed Beverage Association, but I was
not terribly interested. Not until Lou began discussing the early years of the industry and how things
were changing, including Dram Shop liability.
Lou was adamant that to survive, it was important
that we all were members of an organization that had
a strong presence at the Legislature. Until that
moment, I never considered how laws and regulations were formed. I didn’t realize that all of society
wasn’t always composed of friends and loving neighbors.
I became a member of the Board of Directors of
ALBA in 1980. Lou Poulos was the treasurer at the
time, but he was much more than a bean counter. He
was the most powerful member of the Board, and
perhaps the entire retail liquor industry. I was in awe
of the influence that Lou had with the association’s
members, wholesalers, regulators, policymakers and
the highest political officials in the state. He reached
6 ALBA Reporter
out to all of them, and had the capability of developing long-lasting friendships.
After some years as a do-nothing Board member,
I realized that Lou was the only person in ALBA who
had any appreciable knowledge of the system we had
to work in. ALBA had well-paid lobbyists working
for the organization, but it was really Lou who directed the lobbying effort.
In the early 1990s, I was asked to be ALBA’s representative to the National Licensed Beverage
Association. When I decided to accept this position,
Lou and I began a new relationship. He told me I
would be meeting key individuals from other state
organizations, as well as legislators from Arizona and
other states.
Lou tutored me in the need to establish sincere
and enduring relationships with some persons, while
being cautious and guarded with certain others.
I came to realize that I had become the student of a
very knowledgeable and perceptive man. Being his
friend made this schooling fulfilling and effortless.
I learned the importance of making contact with
those who did not like our products and our industry,
and maintaining a dialogue with them.
Even in his latter years, Lou continued to be a
force in ALBA. He had slowed down some, but still
loved to come to the office as often as he was able.
His desk was always a maze of articles about some
of his friends, or something about the latest health
craze.
Lou’s dedication to ALBA and its mission will
never be matched by anyone. In all the years he was
my mentor and friend, I never heard him complain or
even make reference to his crippling impairment,
which was an indication of his incredible strength
of character.
When I was elected president of ALBA, it was
Lou who suggested whom to meet and what meetings
I should arrange. I followed his lead most of the time
and never regretted it. I will greatly miss his counsel,
his friendship and his presence.
The passing of Lou Poulos leaves a void that can
never be filled. v
ALBA Reporter 7
Liquor
and the
Law
By Alan Everett,
Director, Arizona Department
of Liquor Licenses & Control
DLLC Offers Free Fake
ID Training Course.
What is the legal age to.....?
Age is the topic we’ve chosen for this issue of the ALBA
Reporter because licensee’s knowledge of age limits can
greatly improve compliance. Our goal is to simplify answers
to the question “What is the legal age to…?” by making this
chart available to your establishment staff.
Legal Age – Arizona Liquor Laws
To accurately verify age when a patron presents a valid ID,
three practices are key to ensure compliance:
1) maintain strictly enforced house policy for
checking IDs,
2) use some form of daily age calculation and,
3) keep staff current on fake ID training.
First, what is your house policy for checking IDs? If you
don’t have one, work with staff to establish one. To make it
effective, it must be strictly enforced, incorporated it into staff
training, and updated regularly.
Next, when you provide doorman
and liquor-service staff with a daily
age calculation, everyone working
will pinpoint the legal age to drink by
number of years, months, days, and
even hours for that particular day. This
makes age verification practically
fool-proof. By using an online tool,
you simply plug in the birth date for
persons who will reach age 21 that
day, press the “calculate” button, and
the online age calculator instantly
returns the birth date cut-off for the
day. How simple is that?
Finally, the Department of Liquor
has streamlined the course content
from a fake ID training course for
law enforcement, and geared discussion specifically for licensees and their
staff. Beginning in January 2012, the
free, 2-hour course is now available to
audiences of 50 people or more at a
location you arrange. By handling
seized IDs, using UV magnifiers, and
receiving personal instruction from a
Department of Liquor officer, participants will be brought up to date on
fake ID trends and tools used to identify them – all with the goal of eliminating the sale of liquor to underage
persons. When possible, magnification
8 ALBA Reporter
tools and fake ID books will be available for sale, at cost,
during the course. Websites where books and tools are sold
will also be provided.
If you and some of your neighboring establishments can
find a location to gather 50 or more people for fake ID training session, please email Lee Hill at lee.hill@azliquor.gov to
schedule a class. Classes will be held Tuesday through Friday
between 12 noon and 4 p.m. beginning in January 2012. In
your request, please include two dates (preferred and alternate), the time you’d like to have the 2-hour course, and the
street address of the location. Confirmation of 50 or more people will be required one week prior to the date of the course.
Happy New Year to all ALBA members! On February 14,
2012 Arizona will celebrate 100 years of statehood. We hope
you’ll join in on the many celebrations taking place statewide.
Find out more by visiting www.az100years.org. v
EvERyThING yOu NEEd TO
KNOw AbOuT LIquOR LAw
Since it was established in 1985, the non-profit Arizona Business Council
for Alcohol Education has been the leader in state liquor law training. ABC
has maintained an unblemished reputation for professionalism and has
trained over 350,000 retail licensees and their managers and servers, as well
as wholesaler executives and sales personnel. In addition, ABC has been the
premier provider of liquor law instruction for major sports venues, private
clubs and government entities. Inasmuch as it has been purchased by the
Arizona Licensed Beverage Association (ALBA) the ABC has seamlessly
continued to offer its professional instruction in the Arizona Title 4 liquor
laws throughout the state.
ABC Certificate Programs
• On-Sale and Off-Sale Basic
• On-Sale and Off-Sale Management
• In-House and Customized Seminars
• TIPS Certification
• Concessions Program
• Wholesaler Information Program
ABC Current Publications
• The new edition of A. R. S. Title 4
• The “ABC Guide to Arizona Liquor Laws” is also available.
For everyone in the liquor industry this publication has a wealth of information
put in simple terms.
• “Identification Register” – $5.00
• “Driver’s License Guide” – All 50 States - $15.00
• Approved forms of ID poster – $3.00 and other signs – $0.75
• Laminating available for any of these signs $1.00 additional.
These publications are priced: for the Title 4 – $12.00 each,
for the ABC Guide – $10.00 each or $20.00 when purchased as a set.
To order by mail add $3.50 S&H or call the ABC office at
602-285-1396 or 1-800-453-7597.
For a color brochure explaining all of our services and a free statewide
Quarterly Training Schedule, or to register for a regular, special or
in-house training seminar, call toll-free 1-800-453-7597 or 602-285-1396,
Mon. - Fri., 9a.m. - 3p.m.
REGISTER ON LINE AT
Scan this QR code
with your smart
www.BCAE.com
phone to visit the
ABC website
The ABC office is located at:
77 E. Columbus Avenue, Suite 102; Phoenix, AZ 85012
e-mail: asutter@albainc.org • web site: www.BCAE.com
ALBA Reporter 9
By Fred Mallaire, Chairman,
Government Relations
Committee
Co-Ops Are Legal and Save Licensees Money
Arizona Retail licensees who buy any spirituous
liquor brand from wholesalers in a quantity less than
a case will pay a “broken case charge.” This can be
as much as $2.50 on every bottle, which can in time
really add up. On top of this, wholesalers can add a
small delivery charge to a retailer in an urban area.
Such charges can be avoided by forming a “cooperative” of two or more retail licensees, providing
that their combined orders are in case lots and of sufficient quantity.
The co-op must have a retail agent who is registered as such with the Director of the Department of
Liquor Licenses and Control (DLLC). The agent is
required to have a signed written agreement between
the co-op members and provide all basic information
regarding each party to the Director for his approval.
All orders for “cooperative purchases” from a
wholesaler are placed and paid for by the agent, who
is responsible for the accuracy of the orders. After
delivery is made, the merchandise becomes the sole
and separate property of each member in accordance
with their proportionate share of the order, which is
separated by the agent. No exchanges of product can
be made unless there is an error by the wholesaler. A
master invoice is prepared by the wholesaler for the
agent for each cooperative purchase, detailing the
individual member purchases and the specific discount for each purchase by the cooperative. The
agent is responsible for the fiscal operations of the
co-op and must retain all records for two years, as do
the members.
Note that “product,” according to Title 4 Liquor
Law, “means a particular brand of spirituous liquor
in a designated size container or a mix of brands and
containers when sold on a combined basis established by the wholesaler which is offered on quantity discount terms established by the wholesaler.”
Agents are required to store all co-op products at
a licensed retail premise, unless they have written
permission by the DLLC Director to do otherwise.
Wholesalers may deliver to an agent’s licensed onsale premise or any off-premise warehouse storage
facility of the agent which has been approved by the
Director. The agent may choose to deliver from there
to each member, or they may obtain their merchandise themselves. No mixing between members’ product is permitted at any time.
If the co-op has 20 or more members, it will
be designated as a “qualified retail cooperative.”
Wholesalers must sell to such a co-op without regard
to volume at the lowest price at which the wholesaler
sells the product to any other retail licensee at or near
the location of the co-op. But this pricing applies
only to a purchase of 50 cases or more of a product
on a single occasion.
While the legal language regarding the establishment of a co-op may sound somewhat daunting, it
really isn’t. Far too few licensees have taken advantage of this simple and effective way of saving some
money on liquor purchases. Once you have a co-op
organized and running, you’ll see the wisdom and
economic benefits of it.
The co-op registration fee is only $5.00. The
application form for registration of a retail co-op
agent can be downloaded from the DLLC website:
www.azliquor.gov. Or call us at ALBA if you would
like to have some help from us: (602) 285-1092 or
toll-free at 1-800-453-5232. v
“Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food
groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.”
—Alex Levin
10 ALBA Reporter
ALBA Reporter 11
Beer Now Officially Beer in Russia
So, you thought beer, the widely-consumed brew
that is probably the world’s oldest alcoholic beverage,
is the same everywhere. Not so, comrade. Until last
summer, the Rooskies treated beer like a soft drink,
even promoting it as a healthier alternative to vodka.
New legislation now officially classifies beer as,
well—beer, with actual alcohol in it. Before, any
drinks containing less than 10 percent alcohol have
been designated as a foodstuff. It’s not unusual to see
people in Russian cities drinking their “foodstuff’’ in
the mornings on their way to work.
Then There’s British Beer as Bait
Police in Derbyshire County sent letters to a bunch
of people who had evaded arrest for months, inviting
them to claim a crate of free beer from a marketing
company. Nineteen suspects, wanted for such offenses
as robbery, burglary and sexual assaults, fell for the
hoax. When they called a phone number on the letters,
covert cops told them when and where they could get
their complimentary brew. Instead of walking away
with the beer, the unsuspecting suspects walked right
into the hands of arresting officers.
Two Guinea Pigs Walk Into a Bar and…
Down under in Queensland,
Australia, constables were called to a bar
in a hotel about a man and his two
guinea pigs that were “behaving inappropriately” and disturbing other
patrons. When the authorities arrived, the man had left
the pub and was sitting out front with the two animals.
Senior Constable Mick Bleakley said the man resisted
arrest and would not let go of the guinea pigs. “I said,
‘Sir, put the animals down,’” recounted the constable,
who was eventually forced to take the guinea pigs and
the man into custody. He was charged
with a range of offenses. Thankfully, the
guinea pigs were released without being
charged. There’s nothing worse than a
guinea pig with a criminal record.
Babe Bashes Bottles of Booze
In Nyack, N. Y., a woman in a liquor store felt the
clerk was taking too long to wait on her. So she got his
attention by sweeping her arm through a shelf of costly spirits, smashing $1,600 worth of the luscious liquor
onto the floor. A spokesman for Rite-Buy Wines &
Liquors said the damage included bottles of pricey
Johnnie Walker Blue Label Scotch. Oh, the outrage! At
T-N-T we can only pray that Gentleman Jack and Mr.
Jim Beam escaped a similar fate. Police said the wacky
woman later turned herself in.
12 ALBA Reporter
Behind
This-N-That
The Bar ByDavid T. Kratt
THE ROLE WE MUST PLAY
What drains you behind the bar?
I’ve got a couple things. Okay,
there’s more than that.
For example, I call her the Margarita
Lady. No matter how exact I prepare her
margarita to her specifications she complains – usually because there’s not enough tequila. So I add more
tequila. Then later she’ll want more Triple Sec. It never fails. Then
she’ll nurse the drink forever, need something every time I walk by
her and want “a fluff” so she doesn’t have to pay for a second drink.
And then, need I say it, she leaves a terrible tip.
Customers like that will bleed you.
But what can you do about it. You have to be polite.
The other day I told a bartender coworker, “I can’t believe how
nice you were to that guy.” He asked why. I said, “Because the last
time he was in the bar he went totally ballistic on you.” My coworker laughed and said, “Oh yeah, I thought he looked familiar.”
Recently, a couple of regular bartender customers were at the
bar. The younger bartender complained, “I can’t take the drunks
anymore.” The older bartender responded, “Really? I consider them
good customers.”
So how do you reconcile the difference between how you think
you should be treated and how you are treated or how about
between what you really want to say or do and what you have to say
or do?
Is having a short memory or sense of humor the key?
It doesn’t hurt. But that’s not it.
Your professional persona –
Both the bartender with the short memory and the sense of
humor have been around long enough to know who the regular
annoying pains in the neck are and, maybe more important, know
the annoying behaviors that cause the bleeding. They don’t let it
sink in. It’s evident; one doesn’t remember the insignificant incidents without being reminded and the other doesn’t lose her sense
of humor over it all. In short, when it’s needed, these bartenders
project their professional persona to keep their inner self safe and
sound.
I don’t know the younger bartender very well but have seen him
get frazzled. In short, he may never quite figure this one out.
Have you?
Savoring those moments –
Remember, all customers are not created equal!
If you want to widen that gap instead of reconciling your differences, then keep giving those customers who bleed you the same
special treatment you give your good customers. Don’t turn on the
charm, either. That will bleed you even more and reinforce their
behavior. And when you’re busy, those customers will just have to
wait while you’re servicing that good customer.
See if that helps.
Oh, and if you have a customer like my Margarita Lady, tell the
customer something like, “The boss said we can’t give out ‘fluffs’
or sell half-drinks anymore. But would you like to buy another
drink?”
Please send correspondence to dtkratt@chartermi.net or P.O.
Box 638, Grand Haven, Michigan 49417.
GUTTILLA MURPHY
ANDERSON
Representing individual and corporate liquor
licensees since 1975
_ Distributors/wholesalers
_ Importers
_ Retailers
_ Grocery and drug stores
_ Convenience stores
_ Restaurants and bars
Nicholas C. Guttilla
Ryan W. Anderson
City North
5415 E. High Street, Suite 200
Phoenix, AZ 85054
Tel: (480) 304-8300
Fax: (480) 304-8301
E-mail: liquor@gamlaw.com
For ALBA Members Only!
A Huge
25% Discount
On All Small Wares at Andrews Restaurant
Supply, NW corner of Alma School
& W. University Dr. in Mesa.
Call the ALBA Office for Your Special Coupon.
602-285-1092
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1304 West University Dr., Mesa, AZ 85201
602-244-2403 or 888-888-3312
andrewssupplies.com
ALBA Reporter 13
Meet Your Members
Story and Photos by Andy Limber
Paradise Lounge a Cozy Place
for Fun and Games
On East Cactus Road in northeast Phoenix, across the
street from Paradise Valley Mall, nestled behind a BaskinRobbins ice cream store and next to a tailor shop, the Paradise
Lounge has been a popular gathering place in the area for
decades.
“We’re a quaint little neighborhood bar,” says Jennifer
Holliday, who purchased the place four years ago. “Everyone
can come here and relax, play some games, talk with friends,
watch TV, whatever they want to do.”
Although there are a few floor-mounted electronic games,
it’s the stack of low-tech, play-them-on-top-of a-table, oldfashioned board games available to Paradise Lounge customers that you won’t find at most other establishments.
Patrons can select from such familiar game names as Trivial
Pursuit, Yahtzee, Monopoly and Clue.
“We used to come in as regulars, my husband and I, before
buying the place,” said Holliday, an Arizona resident since
1995. “We would play Dominoes, and next thing you know it
was four hours later. So I thought, why not get some more
board games and have people stay longer.”
Early on, Marketing-conscious Holliday recognized that
just cheerfully serving adult beverages wasn’t enough to build
and maintain a customer base. Besides the
“We have fun here.
games, she has put in
place an extensive list We have a good time.”
of activities designed to
appeal to a wide range of customers in all adult age groups.
“We do a lot of events,” Holliday says. “Every month we
have a party based on Zodiac signs, such as Capricorn, which
is this month. Everyone (born under a particular sign) can
come in and get their first drink for two dollars, and we have
a little birthday gift for them, too.”
Additionally, the Paradise Lounge hosts several charity
functions, a Christmas in July event, and Halloween, Oscar
night and Hawaii-themed parties, on top of a daily Happy
Hour. During milder days and nights, and as a convenience for
those customers who smoke, there’s a patio—heated during
the winter months—adjacent to the main bar room.
Holliday has scheduled a unique event on February 7 associated with a member of her family when she has a viewing
party at her bar for the premiere of a new ABC-TV series, The
River, a mystery drama with supernatural overtones. A cousin,
actor Jeff Galfer, has the role of cameraman of Sammy Kirsch
in the show.
If all this activity at the Paradise Lounge isn’t enough,
there’s live entertainment every Tuesday and Thursday
evening, sometimes on Wednesdays, and once a month on
Saturdays. The performers are a variety of gifted individuals
who are mostly guitar and fiddle players. To acquire musical
14 ALBA Reporter
talent, Holliday works
with an organization
called ‘Chicks with
Picks,’ representing some
100 women singers,
songwriters and performing artists.
We’re a quaint little neighborAt the age of nine,
hood bar,” says Jennifer
Holliday began learning
the art of customer ser- Holliday of her establishment.
vice helping fill coffee
cups at her grandmother’s 1950s-type diner in the northwest
Chicago suburb of Wauconda. Sometime later, she gained further experience working as a bartender and server, from small
cafes to fine dining restaurants.
With a degree in human resources management, Holliday
worked in HR and benefits programs for a number of years,
then went back to school to earn another bachelor’s in elementary education, all the while bartending on the side.
The most challenging part of being a bar owner, she says,
is keeping up with everything, “and even when I’m not here,
my brain is still working, thinking what I can do to improve
this or that, or when I need to talk to a certain person.”
Of her five employees, Holliday says, “I have the most
incredible staff. I’m very fortunate, very lucky.”
One of them is bartender Laura Koch, formerly from
Cleveland, Ohio, who has over 20 years of bartending “people experience.” With an infectious laugh and outgoing personality, she compares the atmosphere of the Paradise Lounge
to that of television’s Cheers.
“We have fun here, we have a good time,” she said. “It’s a
matter of attitude on our part. When everything is personalized, when you recognize people the moment they walk in,
when you know their name and what they drink, people like
that. They enjoy coming into a place where they feel comfortable.”
Jennifer Holliday has been a member of ALBA for about
three years, and she recognizes the importance of the organization and its mission of protecting liquor licensees against
unfair legislation.
“Each bar owner can’t go to the Legislature and fight for
or against every single thing,” she said. “Having an organization that supports you, that you can trust and rely on to act in
our best interests, is priceless.”
The current economy has created some inconsistency in
the amount of customer traffic at her establishment, Holliday
says, making it difficult to predict staffing needs, especially
on Friday and Saturday nights. Even so, she says her business
continues to go up every year.
“In the long run, it all works out.” v
At 4541 E.
Cactus Rd. in
Phoenix, this
little gem of a
bar is a homey
favorite of the
Paradise Mall
neighborhood.
There’s a large choice of classic
board games for customers at
the Paradise Lounge.
A creative customer made this
novelty item out of tin cans for
Chicagoland native and Bears
fan Jennifer Holliday.
The covered
patio provides
a comfortable
setting for
those customers who
smoke.
Outgoing and customeroriented, bartender
Laura Koch is one of
the five pleasant staff
members at the
Paradise Lounge.
From birthday celebrations to
Hawaii-themed parties, there’s
always something going on at
the Paradise Lounge.
In addition
to traditional
board games,
there are
electronic
entertainments as
well.
ALBA Reporter 15
ALBA Photo Ops…
At the Annual Holiday Party
Story and Photos by Andy Limber
The annual ALBA Holiday Party is an event that everyone
looks forward to. Business matters, political issues and other
concerns are set aside as our members and guests enjoy tasty
food, a few adult beverages, and mixing with a lot of good
people from the liquor industry, government and other key
entities of the Arizona community.
Held again at Bill and Janie Riddle’s Valle Luna Mexican
Food Restaurant and Cantina at 33rd Avenue and Bell Road
in Phoenix on Dec. 8, the attendance was high, filling an
entire room at the popular eating and drinking establishment.
The legendary grand old man of ALBA, Lou Poulos, and
his wife Georgia were there, although their longtime friend
Among the happy party guests were
Stacy Cotroneo (left), Denise Ross,
Adam Ross and multiple bar owner
and ALBA Vice Pres. David Delos.
Bracketing ALBA chief Bill Weigele are
Maricopa County Deputy Sheriffs Nick
Udall (left) and John Brown.
Michigan transplant and recent bride Cleopatra
Hitchcock (left) is welcomed to the party by ALBA
Director and Lion’s Den owner in Pinetop, George
Hollingsworth. Cleo also had the opportunity to meet
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio and Chief Deputy
Brian L. Sands.
16 ALBA Reporter
Gov. Jan Brewer was unable to attend as she has in most years
past. The high-profile and always interesting Maricopa
County Sheriff Joe Arpaio was present, however, along with
some of his top deputies.
The mood was festive and the outlook generally optimistic
for a new and improved year ahead, exemplified by a comment by ALBA President Bill Weigele.
“The year 2011 was a difficult one for many people and
organizations, including the Arizona Licensed Beverage
Association,” he said. “But we’ve made some late in the year
gains in membership and in other areas, so I’m confident that
this upward course will continue through 2012.”
Co-owner and
brewmaster of
Arizona’s Four
Peaks Brewing
Company Andy
Ingram enjoys
a glass of,
what else, Kilt
Lifter. Andy is
an ALBA
Director.
Then there were these prominent people all in one group (from
left), Bill Weigele, ALBA president; Brian L. Sands, chief
deputy, Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office; Don Isaacson,
attorney-lobbyist; Sheriff Joe Arpaio; and Jesus Altamirano,
former DLLC officer and now a leading Spanish-language
Title 4 instructor.
Frankie Zanzucchi is
the Pantera Show
Club owner and an
ALBA Director.
Bill Riddle, Valle Luna
co-owner and an ALBA
Director, is always a
gracious host.
Having dual areas of responsibility, April Sutter is ALBA’s business manager and the director of
training for the Arizona Business
Council for Alcohol Education
(ABC). With her at the party was
husband Brian.
Servers Vanessa Savaiano
(left) and Claire Kohlhofer
are among the always
cheerful, always efficient
staff at Valle Luna.
The renowned Phoenix husband and wife
lawyer team of Andrea and Jerry
Lewkowitz with Valle Luna CEO Janie
Riddle at right.
Janie Marino (right) had relative Toni
Dorenzo from Michigan as a guest at the
year-end festivities.
Among other handsome
young couples at the party
were Stacy Cotroneo and
husband Joe, executive
vice president and general
manager of Crescent
Crown Distributing.
Lou Poulos and wife Georgia.
A first-time ALBA Holiday
Party attendee was George
Quezada, a highly professional
Spanish-language instructor
for ABC, the Arizona Business
Council for Alcohol Education.
ALBA Director Barbara JensenZgonc and husband Gene
enjoyed the cheerful holiday
gathering at Valle Luna.
Making certain the superb buffet
was filled with a selection of tasty
food fare was Valle Luna staff
member Juana Mendez.
ALBA Reporter 17
Playing It Safe
By the ALBA Safety Committee
New Year a Good Time for Safety Review
So you got too busy toward the end of last year and let
some safety or repair issues slide at your licensed premises. Now, at the start of 2012, this would be a good time to
make—and keep—a really beneficial New Year’s resolution: I will review on a regular basis all possible safety matters related to my establishment and make any necessary
repairs or improvements.
At the heart of your safety program is a very simple,
very effective device that you design yourself, and that’s a
checklist indicating such major categories as electrical,
plumbing, structural, furnishings, etc. This isn’t only a convenient visual way to guide your periodic safety inspections, it can be a permanent documentation of the dates and
actions taken to correct current problems and measures
implemented to prevent any possible future safety issues.
The diligent use of a checklist could save you a great
deal of anxiety and money in the event there’s an incident
that results in an accident and a legal claim against you.
We’re not saying that a checklist would automatically mitigate a claim; but it is an indication that you are a responsi-
18 ALBA Reporter
ble and safety-conscious licensee, and insurance companies
and courts tend to look favorably on such paperwork.
The responsibility for safety policies and measures are
not limited to the liquor establishment’s licensee.
Employees need to be a part of this important process and
share in the duties of keeping your bar, tavern, restaurant or
private club as free as possible from hazards that may
impact customers and staff. An occasional, documented
meeting with your employees to keep them informed and
conscious of safety subjects is well worth the time.
We’ll admit that the subject of safety isn’t very exotic.
But stop and think of the consequences of a slip and fall—
or something worse—at your establishment. The impact on
your business emotionally and financially could be substantial. The best way to possibly prevent such an occurrence is to have an active safety program.
There’s nothing extraordinarily complex about workplace safety. It really comes down to one very basic
application: common sense.
Have a prosperous, happy…and safe New Year. v
The Mystery of Sheriff Joe’s ‘Gun’
Story and Photo by Andy Limber
For the past decade at ALBA year-end holiday parties and sheriff, about your tie tack. I’ve noticed that you wear it a
scores of other social events related and unrelated to the lot.”
liquor industry, I have for one publication or another
“It keeps my tie from flopping around,” he said in his
interviewed and photographed Maricopa County Sheriff usual vigorous tone, his fingers lightly grasping each end of
Joe Arpaio.
the tiny pistol.
Whether it was at a Chinese New Year’s
“Does it represent something, maybe
banquet or some charitable function, the
your first weapon or a miniature replica
sheriff has always been generous with his
of your personal firearm?” I asked.
time in answering questions and posing
“I don’t carry a gun,” the sheriff
informed me.
for photos.
Huh? A law enforcement officer who
In recent months at such occasions, and
doesn’t carry a gun? I’m standing next to the
during Arpaio’s numerous appearances on
television news programs, I began to notice
toughest, baddest, most famous lawman in
something. When not in uniform and wearArizona and the entire planet no less, and he
ing a business suit, there was always the
just told me he’s not armed.
same metal tie tack in the shape of a Colt .45
“You don’t carry a gun?” I said, wanting
automatic handgun affixed to his neckwear.
to make sure I heard him correctly.
My curiosity over this eye-catching item
“That’s right,” responded Arpaio. “I
intensified. What was the story behind this
don’t like guns.”
pistol-shaped men’s wardrobe accessory?
The sheriff doesn’t carry a gun and doesn’t like guns. Maybe this was the story, not
Did someone give it to the sheriff for a “It keeps my tie from
the tie tack. Still, I had to believe that there
unique reason? Does he wear it so consis- flopping around.”
was something special, some deep, hidden
tently because he attaches a sentimental
value to it?
philosophical meaning to the little pistol
All these questions and more raged through my mind. If clinging to the sheriff’s tie.
Sheriff Joe answered even one of them, I would be the only
“But the gun on your tie,” I said, pointing to it. “It has
one in the world who could write about it. I would be the some particular personal significance, doesn’t it, sheriff?
envy of those national and international journalists who have
“No, nothing special about it,” he answered. “I have
made the “Toughest Sheriff in America” a household name. another one like this with diamonds on it, but I don’t use it
My chance came the evening of December 8, 2011, at the much.”
So that was that. My big story had fizzled. A server came
holiday party hosted every year by the Arizona Licensed
Beverage Association. Arpaio was there and I was ready with by and I ordered a double Jack and Seven, and asked her to
my questions, ready to unravel the mystery of Sheriff Joe’s hurry. I thanked the sheriff and retreated to a corner of
ubiquitous pistol-shaped tie tack.
the people-filled room with only Gentleman Jack Daniel
I was excited but tried to act casual when I said, “Tell me, to comfort me. v
ABC/ALBA benefits:
ABC was purchased by the Arizona Licensed Beverage Association, Inc. (ALBA)
in December of 2010. As a member of ALBA you are entitled to discounts on your
training. ALBA/ABC would like to be your trainer. Contact the office for a color
brochure explaining all of our services and a free statewide Quarterly Training
Schedule, or to register for a regular, special or in-house training seminar, call
toll-free 1-800-453-7597 or 602-285-1396, Mon. - Fri., 9 a.m. - 3 p.m.
The ALBA/ABC office is located at:
77 East Columbus Ave., Suite 102
Phoenix, Arizona 85012
ALBA Reporter 19
Johnny Sparks: A Legend of the Old West
Episode 4
“The Snake Eyes Showdown”
By Drew Alexander
In their stay at the Hopi Indian
village of Oraibi in northeastern
Arizona Territory, Frontier Lawman
Johnny Sparks and his sidekick Scruffy Magee received the warm
hospitality of the tribe’s chief and his son, Jumpin’ Joe Coyote.
In pursuit of that damnable outlaw Snake Eyes Smith, the trail
had grown cold for the famed peace officer and his pal until they
learned what happened at Oraibi two weeks before. The alleged
mastermind of multiple felonies and misdemeanors had tricked the
villagers into believing he was a respectable man. Then, in the
middle of the night, Smith rode off with two of the tribe’s best
horses and the pretty maiden, Eternal Blossom.
To make matters worse, Snake Eyes had fled to that mysterious
place where it’s said that people are turned to stone.
“I don’t care what anybody says about stone people,” said
Johnny as he mounted his horse. “I’m after a flesh and blood criminal who’s added the unpardonable offense of horse thievery to his
contemptible chronicle of crimes.”
“And what about kidnapping the girl?” said Scuffy.
“Yes, that’s pretty bad, too,” responded Johnny.
“I’m going with you,” said Jumpin’ Joe.
The lawman shook his head slightly from side to side, saying,
“You realize, Joe, we’ll probably have to ride far into that vast
field of stone to catch Snake Eyes. Anything might happen in such
a place…anything.”
Joe looked contemplative for a quick moment, as if he were
grappling with some inner conflict.
“My people are a people of traditions and folklore,” he said.
“Their perceptions are through simple, almost child-like eyes, not
science or factual evidence.”
“So, Joe, you’re telling me that you don’t believe there’s a
place where people are turned into stone,” said Johnny.
“I’m telling you that my white man’s education has made me
question the old beliefs of my tribe, even though I still respect
them. That there is an unusual place of strange stones is unquestionable, but I’m skeptical that our incursion there will result in
our petrification.”
Scruffy’s eyes narrowed a bit, and he wagged a finger at the
other two men, telling them, “Don’t be too quick to dismiss the
visions of the old wise ones…”
“Enough talk,” said Johnny, spurring his horse. “Let’s ride!”
The three men rode south, leading out of the high mesas of the
Hopis and down to the vast rangelands of the Navajo, which made
Jumpin’ Joe a bit uncomfortable. While there had been commerce
between the two native peoples, even intermarriage, their history
was also etched with bitter, mostly unsettled land disputes.
For days, the riders didn’t see another human being and were
a mere dot against the stunning panorama of mountains, canyons,
mesas and valleys. Their immediate destination before going into
the place of stones was the burgeoning, rowdy new town of
Holbrook along the banks of the Little Colorado River, created by
the arrival of the Atlantic & Pacific Railroad.
Before washing off the trail grime and adding a few more provisions to their saddlebags, Johnny, Scruffy and Joe set out to find
20 ALBA Reporter
the local law, if there was any. One of the locals directed them to
the Cottage Saloon, where Sheriff Commodore Perry Owen happened to be at the moment.
“Sure, I’ve heard of you,” said the long, red-haired sheriff after
Johnny introduced himself and his two traveling companions.
“You’re building quite a legend for yourself, son.”
“You’ve got something of a reputation yourself, sir,” smiled
Johnny. “I recollect that they started calling you ‘Iron Man’ after
you plugged two Indian bucks trying to steal some horses…”
“They were Navajo,” cut in Jumpin’ Joe. “Just wanted to make
that clear.”
The sheriff gazed at Joe, his eyes scanning the imposing Hopi
with the language command of college professor. He could see,
though, that there wasn’t anything bookish or meek about this tall,
muscular man with the olive skin and confident demeanor.
“Noted,” said Owen, twisting the ends of his lengthy silken
mustache with three fingers. “So what brings you gents to
Holbrook?”
“It’s a long, sordid story, sheriff,” answered Johnny. “We’re on
the hunt for a really mean, bad desperado and—” Stopping midsentence, Johnny pointed to the huge, dark stain on the saloon
floor. “Say, what’s that all about?”
“Dang, if it don’t look like blood,” said Scruffy, kneeling down
and touching the large dark spot. “Even feels a little wet.”
“Had us a bit of a fracas here yesterday,” said the sheriff. “Grat
Dalton and another fella got into an argument during a poker game
with two other men and shot ‘em dead to the floor in a bucket of
blood.”
“Dalton, of the Dalton Gang?” asked Johnny.
“One and the same,” said the sheriff. “Afterwards, Dalton and
his cohort took off real quick, too quick for me to catch ‘em, sorry
to say.”
Scruffy stroked his gray whiskers. “Do ya think, Sparky? Do
ya think that the guy with Dalton might have been…”
“Maybe,” said Johnny. “Do you know who the man was with
Dalton, sheriff?”
“No, never did see him. Word was, though, that he was mean,
real mean.”
Johnny touched the brim of his Stetson. “Thanks, sheriff. We
have to get going, out there,” he said, pointing east. “Ever been
there?”
The sheriff chuckled. “You mean the place where people turn
into stone? Sure, I been there. But the only thing I seen that’s
turned to stone are trees. Don’t know exactly how that came to be,
but it’s real sure that what used to be trees are now big and small
chunks of cold, hard and kind of pretty rock.”
“What Sheriff Owen is talking about was the end result of one
of nature’s most extended and complex mechanisms,” said
Jumpin’ Joe.
“So what does that mean exactly?” asked Johnny.
“The way it came to be was with downed trees that existed during the late Triassic period, about 225 million years ago, at the
time of the early dinosaurs,” said Joe.
He went on to explain, saying, “The fallen trees amassed in
river waterways and were buried at times in volcanic ash.
Eventually, the silica dissolved from the ash and carried it into the
logs, forming into quartz crystals that replaced the organic material. Incredibly, over this very long period of petrification, the
uprooted trees retained their outward appearance.”
“Trees into rocks, huh?” said Johhny. “Does this place have a
name to it?”
“Folks around here have been calling it a petrified forest,” the
sheriff said.
“You’re welcome to come along with us, Owen,” gestured
Johnny toward his destination. “You just might catch your man
Dalton in that petrified forest.”
The sheriff hooked his thumb into his gun belt. “I’d like nothing better than to bring that killer to justice,” he said. “But I’ve got
my hands full right here. Holbrook is still a new and rowdy town,
where it isn’t yet ready for respectable women and churches.”
It was nearly sunset when Johnny and his two-man posse made
camp about 20 miles out of Holbrook. They had gotten a later start
than they planned and now had to wait until the next day to reach
the outer fringes of the remote, nearly 150 square mile petrified
forest.
In the early dew-covered morning, with men and beasts rested
and fed, the intrepid trio continued their ride east, coming to a distinct mile-high terrain of semi-desert and highly-eroded badlands.
It was unimaginable that this expansive range of grasses, washes
and scattered rock formations were once a towering forest.
Stopped on a small rise, Johnny, Scruffy and Jumpin’s Joe
caught their breaths as they gazed in silent wonderment at the endless, sweeping scene before them.
“Snake Eyes is out there, someplace,” said Johnny. “But
where? How are we ever going to find him?
“He could hide here for years if he wanted to,” said Scruffy,
sounding almost defeated.
Jumpin’ Joe was of a different frame of mind. His native kinship with the lands of his forefathers overcame his years of white
man’s book learning, speaking to him now in a more earthy,
revealing way than the perspective of his companions.
“The land will tell us where to find him,” said Joe, spurring his
horse on, with Johnny and Scruffy following close behind.
About an hour later, they came upon a huge, almost smoothfaced upright slab of stone, roughly triangular, its notched top
pointing skyward. The surface of the reddish stone was etched
with a hundred or more symbols, some of them clearly of human
hands and various animals, others more abstract and mysterious.
“What in tarnation does all this mean?” asked Scruffy, running
his right hand lightly over the stone tablet.
“These are petroglyphs, rock engravings,” answered Joe.
“Carved here thousands of years ago by the ancient ones. These
pictures tell their story,” he went on, pointing at the different
‘pictures.’
Joe’s attention then zeroed in on an etching that stood apart
from the main group.
He lightly ran the tips of his fingers against it, then rubbed
them together.
“This one, this coiled snake with the big eyes is fresh,” Joe told
Johnny and Scruffy. “This is the nukpana, the evil one, leaving us
a sign. He’s leading us to him, he wants us to find him.”
Johnny clenched his jaw. “And we’ll rightly oblige him,” he
said.
A while later, under clear blue skies and a blazing Arizona
summer sun, the three men saw something glistening atop a lone
petrified tree stump. It was a .44 caliber bullet, its nose pointing
northeast. In a few hours, with dusk approaching, another bullet
led to the ruins of a centuries-old pueblo, the stone remains indi-
cating a once large structure that served as a home with additional
rooms for food storage.
Sitting around their campfire amidst the pueblo remnants after
their evening meal, Johnny, Jumpin’ Joe and Scruffy all sensed
that their long journey in pursuit of that reprehensible fugitive
Snake Eyes Smith was nearing its final chapter. They knew, no
matter what strategy they devised to capture or kill the alleged
criminal, Snake was in control. Their fate, and that of the captive
Eternal Blossom, was largely in the hands of a cunning madman,
and they were beginning to feel a sense of their own mortality.
It was nearing high noon when the valiant trio arrived at the
Blue Mesa badlands, a terrain like no other. With its cone-shaped
hills, chiseled ridges and steep-walled canyons and ravines, no
other place on Earth looked quite like this. The air was very still,
even though dark clouds were beginning to form overhead, signaling the coming of torrential summer rains.
Suddenly, the quiet was stabbed by a booming voice that
seemed to bounce off the canyon walls.
“Welcome to hell, gentlemen,” said the voice, mixed with a
sardonic laugh. “Are you ready to die?”
Johnny moved a few paces forward. “Herman P.
Koenigschmidt, alias Snake Eyes Smith, in the name of the law,
you are under arrest.,” he said at the top of his voice, his words
clear and deliberate.
There was a long pause before Snake broke out in a prolonged
fit of laughter, then answering, “Sure, come get me Mr. Frontier
Lawman.”
“I’ll be coming for you, Snake, but not until you release
Eternal Blossom, alive and unharmed.”
“You can have her, Sparks, you and your grizzly old sidekick
and your new Indian pal,” said the desperado. “I don’t have any
use for her anymore.”
There was a long silence as Johnny, Joe and Scruffy looked
anxiously toward a shadowy vertical crevice that appeared to lead
into a small canyon. A lone figure came walking out, slowly at
first, then at a faster gait. It was Eternal Blossom.
She was about 30 yards from the three men when hot lead
began kicking up the soil around her, making her cry out and run
in a zigzag pattern. Snake kept firing at her, laughing all the time,
relishing the girl’s confusion and fear, running this way and that,
sometimes in circles.
“You fiend!” shouted Johnny, unable to see Snake, and shooting with aimless anger at the canyon.”
At last, Eternal Blossom reached the three men, exhausted and
sweaty, nearly falling into Jumpin’ Joe’s open arms. He took her to
some large petrified wood stumps where Scruffy had some water
and food for the girl, along with a blanket spread out on the ground
for her to lie down and rest.
With the girl safe, Johnny concentrated on going after Snake.
Joe wanted to go with him, but the lawman wouldn’t allow it.
“Thanks for the offer, my friend. But this is law business. I’ve
waited a long time for this final showdown with the ignominious
Snake Eyes Smith. This is something that I have to do…alone.”
Johnny mounted his horse and rode at an unhurried gallop, sitting tall in the saddle, toward the large cluster of rocks and
canyons where Snake was holed up. His stomach muscles tensed,
knowing he was an easy target out in the open as he was. He was
betting his life on Snake’s bloated ego, betting that the notoriously narcissistic outlaw couldn’t resist making some kind of dramatic ritual of killing the increasingly famous frontier lawman.
“Hold it right there, Sparks,” said Snake as he stepped out on a
high ledge several feet ahead of Johnny. “I could have killed you
easy enough anytime I wanted, but there’s no fun in that,” he
grinned. “Dismount,” he commanded.
Continued on page 22
ALBA Reporter 21
“The Snake Eyes Showdown”
Continued from 21
Johnny slowly stepped down to the ground, his right hand
hovering over his Colt .45 ‘Peacemaker.’ The sky above was
rumbling loudly and had turned into a gray-black mass of enormous churning clouds.
“I have a warrant for your arrest, Snake Eyes. Surrender
now.”
Snake laughed and swiftly drew his pistol, getting the drop on
Johnny, telling him, “You’ve got something that belongs to me,
lawman, you’ve got the mate to my Scholfield .44, and I want it
back.”
“I can’t do that,” said Johnny. “I’m holding that weapon as
material evidence from a crime scene.”
“Have it your way, Sparks,” sneered Snake, holstering his
pistol. “I’ll just have to take it from you after I shoot you dead.”
For a long moment, the two men stared intently into each
other’s eyes. The bad blood between them, the months of the
hunter and the hunted had come down to this sliver of time in a
remote, spectacularly imposing section of the Arizona Territory.
Overhead, the dark clouds, bulging with moisture, began to
release a few droplets of water.
Johnny drew first, but it was Snake who got off the first shot,
the round missing the lawman by a mere inch. Johnny dropped to
the ground, firing twice, missing his target both times as a sheet
of rain obscured his vision. He stood up, seeing that Snake was
still on the ledge, firing wildly through the heavy downpour in
his direction. One random bullet hit the side of his pistol, knocking it painfully out of his hand and disappearing into the muddy
ground below.
“What’s the matter, lose your gun?” laughed Snake, the muzzle of his weapon pointed straight at the heart of the now helpless lawman. “I’ve grown mighty weary of you, Sparks, you and
your high and mighty laws. It’s time to get you out of my way…”
Just as Snake was about to squeeze the trigger of his revolver,
the ledge under his feet cracked and gave way, and the outlaw
went plunging down 50 feet or more into the deep ravine oozing
with a thick, clay-like mud. He landed on his back into the muck
with a loud, resounding ‘splat.’ In seconds, Snake was coated
head to toe with the viscous substance, holding him prisoner
against the bed of the ravine, suffocating him.
The powerful summer rain passed as quickly as it had arrived,
giving way to a sunny sky. Scruffy, Jumpin’ Joe and Eternal
Blossom had ridden closer to the action during the storm and saw
what happened. They now went to Johnny, who was standing at
the upper edge of the ravine looking down at the bizarre sight
below.
Brownish-gray liquid clay had seeped down the sides of
Snake Eyes Smith’s lifeless body, forming the distinct outline of
a man, with legs and arms outstretched. There were even some
facial feature details, and a pistol shape could be seen grasped in
his right hand.
“Goldarnest thing I ever saw,” said Scruffy, staring transfixed
at the sight below. “What’s that stuff that ol’ Snake fell into?” he
asked of anyone who would answer.
“It’s call Bensonite,” said Jumpin’ Joe. “That’s a natural clay
substance found in abundance in this area. Its molecular structure
is such that it absorbs water like a sponge, and when it dries it
becomes as hard as, well, stone…”
They all gazed at each other, all thinking the same thing, and
then kept looking down in amazement at the stiff human shape in
the bed of the ravine.
“This is what the old wise ones of my tribe spoke of,” said
Eternal Blossom. “Bad people in this place are turned to stone.”
“ A fitting end to the wicked ways of Snake Eyes Smith,” said
Johnny.
“The girl and I are heading back home to Orabai,” said
Jumpin’ Joe. “Why don’t you and Scruffy come with us, Johnny,
and we’ll have a big victory celebration.”
“Thanks, Joe, but there’s no time for that,” answered the lawman. “I have to help out Sheriff Owen by getting on the trail
of that alleged cold-blooded killer Grat Dalton and bring him
to justice.”
“Yesiree, that’s the way it has to be with Frontier Lawman
Johnny Sparks,” added Scruffy, tapping the handle of his holstered gun. “There’s just no rest for a legend of the Old West.”
Editor’s Note: This concludes in the ALBA Reporter the serialized adventures of Johnny Sparks: A Legend of the Old West. We
hope you have enjoyed this tongue firmly planted in cheek storytelling. If you would like free reprints of all four episodes in this
series, send an e-mail to alimber@cox.net or call (602) 565-7220. Look for the further heroics of Johnny and his sidekick in
other publications.
© 2012 AAL/Drew Alexander
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22 ALBA Reporter
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