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Registered for publication as a catergory B Publication No. VBH 3707 Vol. XXXII No. 5
Monday 27th April, 1992.
CONTENTS
Contents
Editorial...
WHY BROG BARF SHOULD HAVE WON WILLS
Brog used to be a brilliant centre-half-forward...for
StAndrews Under 9 Comets. He consistently showed
fine political intuition. Particularly the way he cried
whenever any big person came near him, a similar trait
to many of today's politicians. Look, who won Wills
anyway? A short, hairy football-type thug who couldn't
get a column in Lot's Wife if he paid us .. .well maybe
not
But that's not the point. The point is that Brog has a
sound basis for his political beliefs, he is backed by Sir
Lionel Bloomingcrap and the Australian Nice Party. His
chief advisers, Bug 'N' Stump have recently expressed
flieir interest in putting him up for preselection for the
seat of Wills in die coming Feideral election. At a press
conference, attended by fringe reporter Salman Thomas,
it was indicated that Brog would utilise all four of Bug's
green arms to hand out How-to-Vote cards. However, he
concedes that Stump's eating habits would drastically
reduce campaign fiinds, pizzas and sox. Despite this
obvious disadvantage it is predicted that there will be a
significant swing, since Brog gained ofiHcial backing
from Footy Tipping Inc. (now a video game).
Ed's note: Thankyou to Susan Holdsworth for
her invaluable contribution to the editorial.
EDITORS:
Justin Castelan, Karen Shapiro,
Chris Jones
AD-MANAGER:
Chris James
PUBUCATIONS SECRETARY:
David Spargo
PROOFREADERS:
Jonathon Uberman, Melanie Fleming,
Stevie Wonder
TYPESETTERS;
7H Le, Anne Lynn, David Boon
NEWS EDITOR:
Brian cf Nazareth
REVIEWS EDITOR:
Ghostbusters Inc.
SPORTS EDITOR:
Paul Woods
FOOTY TIPPING:
Stephen Sihagni, Ian Aitken
TYPISTS:
Andrew McAUster, Joyce Chan, Touia Moustakas
LAYOUT:
Andrew McAUster, Eve Page, Samantha Felman, John Fetter,
Susan Holdsworth, Jeff Sharp, Tali Bernard, Ron Gasper, Phil Berry,
Andrew McAUster, Julie Thomas, Hal Greenhorn (in spirU), Selena Papps
Cameron McCullough, Marcus Uiskich, JeffMentiplay, Andrew McAUster,
an empty can of baked beans, well not really baked since it was empty.
Hal's BeKs
fl
w
The Rude Word
3
Don't Know Yet .
Be
,. 12
A.
14
Cc
5
B.:
Pr
R.
•^^^m
27th April, 1992.
NEWS
Law School Funding Cut
aw Faculty funding
has suffered a drastic
decline in 1992,
according to Dean of Law,
Professor Williams. This
was revealed in an address
to law students in the
basement of the law school
on Thursday 9th April.
L
In response to 50% cuts in the number
of tutorials for compulsory law subjects
(taught in the first 3 years of law
course), the Law Students Society
organised the rally. Professor Williams
explained to students that the
implementation of a new hmding
formula used to allocate fiinds within
the university had resulted in a 7% real
cut in hmding per sudent
Professor Williams told Lot's Wife that
he spent the latter half of 1991 fighting
the proposed funding formula. "There
is no doubt that a funding formula of
some sort is needed. It promotes
stability andforward planning.
However the currentformula hurts the
Law Faculty."
After seeing the formtda pass through
the Committee of Deans, Professor
\Wlliams together with representatives
of the Arts faculty, moved motions
opposing the formula on Academic
Board. They were all rejected.
However, despite this failure. Professor
Williams indicated that he would
continue to do all he could to protect the
interests of law students. This pledge,
though genuine, will do little to comfort
law students. It is obvious from the cuts
tofimdingthat the Law Faculty is only
one voice amongst ten faculties.
This fact has not prevented the LSS
from organising a petition which will
be presented to the Univeisity
administratioiL In a press release, LSS
accused the administration of adopting
the Relative Funding Model used by the
government to allocate recurrent
fimding to universities, despite the fact
that this model was never intended for
use within the university.
In an interview with Lofs W^e, Mary
O'Hanlon, Secretary of the LSS,
promised to continue the fight against
the funding fotmula. Though like the
Dean of Law, Ms O'Hanlon appears to
have few avenues open to her.
Information gathered by Lofs Wife
indicates that the funding formula was
devised by the office of the
Vice-Chancellor, Professor Mai Logan
and the Comptroller, Mr Peter Wade.
While it is based on the Relative
Funding Model it has been adapted for
Monash Univeisity.
Funding figures indicate Hal. the real
winners from the fonnula were the
Medicine, Engineering and Computer
faculties which are all favourably
wei^ted in the formula. The biggest
loser was Education with the Law
Faculty a close second last
It appears that even thou^ the Law
couise weighting in the formula was
increased, the fact that the law school
had less graduate students and more
combined course students had a
detrimental impact on funding.
Combined course students which make
up almost ihe entire studem body in the
law faculty, receive more funding per
student than any other in the university.
Once thisfiindingis split between the two
faculties in which the student is enrolled,
both faculties incur a loss of funding.
In a double blow to the Law Faculty, the
Library System decided to cut the law
periodicals budget by 15%. While cuts
to the periodicals budget has affected
virtually all university libraries, the Law
Faculty's heavy reliance on regular law
reports (transcripts of court
judgements), statutes and journals has
caused considerable concern. Law
students who are unable to borrow these
periodicals, are often forced to spend
hours in the library searching for highly
demanded law reports.
Lofs Wife approached the office of the
Vice-Chancellor to gain his comment
on the issue of law funding cuts, but
were told he would not be available
before the 4th of May. •
ChrtB Jones
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DavidDerham School of Law: Big Salaries, Big Cuts
Library Hours ThrBat
tudents using the
libraries on Clayton
Campus between
10.00am-1.00pm on the
weekends will be aware
that there Is a user survey
in progress. It Is
understandable if students
become irritated at being
asked to fill out a form
every time they enter a
library, (especially if they
have just left to boost
cafelne levels) particularly
if your are unaware that
this is vital TO MAINTAIN
LIBRARY HOURS.
S
campus libraries close for three
weekends and close at S.OOpm on
weekday evenings for two weeks.
The mid-year break library openiiig
hours would be:
Monday - Thursday
8.30am - S.OOpm
Friday
8.30am-5.45pm
Saturday - Sunday
Qosed"
Due to vigorous protests by student
representatives a reprieve was
granted for 1992.
In January 1992, a working party
was formed to formulate a survey.
The working party has a strong
student representation ie. MAS,
MAPS, MPA& OSS.
The survey is being conducted by a
Toward the end of last year when
neutral party — HEARD (Higher
most of you were absorbed in the
Education Research Unit). The
euphoria of exams, the University
survey will nm every weekend
was moving forward in its efforts at
morning at each library for the first
"cost-cutting". One area targetted
semester.
was library hours. Out of this came
recommendations for hours for 1992: If you want library hours to be
maintained at the current level,
"RECOMMENDATION 3:
SUPPORT THE SURVEY! And
consider — on weekend mornings it
During the academic year
is much easier to gain access to
1.00-3.00pm on
library resources.
Saturday aind Sutxlays
So demonstrate your support for the
Prior to Semester 1 & Semester 2
maintenance of library hours by
examinations:
completing the survey; or next year,
For the 3 weekends prior to or during you needn't both coming to Qayton
campus before 1 .OOpm on the
examinations, open from
weekends to use the library.<^
10.00am - S.OOpm on Sundays; and
1.00pm - S.OOpm on Satuidays.
Simon Abraham
Genaral Ubraiy Student Representative
RECOMMENDATION 4:
It isrecommendedthat diuing the
1992 mid-year break, the Qayton
Rosemary McLennan
Main Library Student Representativa
E^^^^^^HHHIH
T
NEWS
NUS Brawl
he battle for the heart
and minds of the
student body has
begun, with both sides in
the debate over the Monash
d i s a f f i l i a t i o n from the
National Union of Students
(NUS), upping the stakes.
Both the leadership of the NUS and
MAS have submitted articles to Lot's
Wife. It is clear from discussion on both
sides that these articles are only the stan
of battle.
Enquiries made by Lot's Wife into past
^^^^^^^^^••B
International News
disaffiliation campaigns on other
campuses around Australia have revealed
that the campaigns surrounding both sides
are extremely hard foughL In many cases,
both sides of the debate have used students
from other campuses to fight campaigns
and almost always flown in helpers from
interstate. The credibility of members of
bodi sides have also been known to suffer
frxim the vicious power-play for student
votes.
All this speculation however awaits
confirmation by MAS of the dale of the
disaffiliation referendum. Until then
students can only study the preliminary
contributions of both sides.4
Chris Jones
With
a
Twist
Sex, Riots and Dogs
In the capital of the African natkin Guinea, riots broke out against
whites after it was revealed that a white man was paying tocal girts to
be filmed in sex scenes with dogs. The white tnan who spari<ed off the
Incident was nearly lynched by the angry mob. He was apparently very
happy when the polk» rescued Nm only moments before his death.
A Weird Week In Asian Politics
Asian pontes has gone wlk) of late, with two separate bizan'e
incidents. In Taiwan, members of the two major polit'icai parties, the
Democratfc Progressive Party and the Kuomlntang Party, were
njshed to hospital after disagreeing in the Natksnal Assembly. After
chasing opposing members around the Assembly, they smastied
wooden chairs, wrestled with one another and used desktop
stationery to attack each other. In Japan, a leading politician was
stabbed to death by his mentally disturbed daughter while he was
sleeping, proving once again that nobody likes a politician.
COMMENT
Bizarre Trial
R
MIT, J a m e s Cook
University
and
Monash (Clayton)
have all given NUS notice of
intentions to disaffiliate via
a referendum this year.
The University of Melbourne are
trying to find legal means of staying out of
NUS, Glenormiston College disaffiliated
early this year and Monash (Gippsland)
disaffiliated last year. The University of
Queensland, University of Sydney and
University of Technology (Sydney) have
never been members of NUS. Why?
The cost to the Monash Association of
Students for affiliation is over $62,000 per
annum plus interest for every day after the
deadline for payment of the afHIiation fee
(which was due on the 27th March 1992
and has not yet been paid). On top of this
we pay $6,()00 to cover costs of sending
10 delegates to the NUS Annual
Conference. A total of nearly $70,000.
Although we have no access to the
audited NUS accounts or even their budget
(and cannot give specific expenditure
figures for the national branch of NUS),
the proposed Victorian Branch budget
allocates nearly half of its income to pay
for office bearer and administrative
W
ith referendums
pending at MonashClayton and RMIT,
some serious questions are
being asked over the role
and functions of the
National Union of Students.
The following arguments
will hopefully dispel some
of the most common
misconceptions about
t h e i n a d e q u a c i e s of
this national student
organisation.
Firsdy, if N.U.S, doesn't exist then
who will rq)resent students to both the
state and national governments? The
reality is that without a national voice
Australian governments will fmd it easier
to ignore the needs and interests of
students.
Secondly, N.U.S. provides a fonim for
student representatives from across
Australia to meet and compare the
activities of their organisations and the
issues which confront students. It can also
act as a co-ordinator of cross campus
student activity. Providing a vital contact
salaries and only 8% of its iiKome to
education related campaigns. This raises
questions as to whose interests the Union
is looking after - the bank accounts of
those students lucky enough to be elected
office bearers or the suidents who pay the
money and whom they are paid to
represent
NUS is also embroiled in internal
fighting that takes up seemingly large
proportions of time and energy. This is
evidenced by the mix up in the second rally
and the disintegration of the NUS Cross
Campus Education Network which
unanimously condemned Tony White in
the aftermath of the first rally.
What all this does, is paint a grim
picture of NUS. It is a picture which is
incomplete as there are yet more startling
incidences involving the NUS over the last
2 yeare. Surely the onus is shifting ^— it is
now more than ever for NUS to convince
student union leaders and members why
they should slay affiliated to the Union.
Contrary to any such appeals, they are
failing to prove themselves as a necessary
force. They are failing to show why they
are sue and best representatives of student
(^inion.^
Kerry Barker
Chairperson
MAS
point for individual student organisations.
The National Union of Students does
achieve real reforms for snidents. Take for
example the Austudy reforms hi the 1991
Federal Budget N.U.S, lobbied for and
achieved:
1. An increase in the personal income
threshold frixn $4,000 to $S,000 per year.
2. Changes to the dependant child
arrangements to maintain a parity with
income arrangements. This will
effectivdy increase the level of spouse
income, enabling eligibility for applicants
with dependants.
3. Simplification of Austudy Academic
Progress rules to enable students to
complete an extra semester or year unit
and still receive Austudy.
4. Diploma students are now eligible
for Austudy.
There is little doubt that the National
Union of Students does have significant
problems relating to its communication
with individual student campus
organisations. But it remains the only
organisation which represents tertiary
students at both a state and national level.
Without its resources and vigilance the
concerns of students will be even more
disregarded than they currendy are.#
by Stephen Newman
General Secretary
N.U.S. Victoria
In the Soviet Union, a self confessed murderer/rapist, Andrei
Chlkatik) has gone to trial. He has admlttedto the rape and mutilation
of 55 children between the period 1978-90. During the trial he sat
captive In a cage reading a pornographic magazine, which he waved
for the cameras. Experts described Mr Chlkatik) as an affable and
sociable person with no signs of being a deviant. But that's usually
the way, isn't H.
Popular Prisoner
In Scotland, electnn candidate Tommy Sheridan managed to poll
6.000 votes In the electorate of Glasgow Poltok, running second only
to the Labour Party and beating the Tories. Tommy ran his campaign
from prison where he is sewing a sentence for contempt of court.
Bombing Out at Disney
Four lucky chlkJren In France were the first to have the honour
of being injured at the recently opened EuroDlsney. It appears that
the children were hospitalised after the stage coach they were In
overturned.
How Much Officer?
In response to the wklespread acceptance of bribes by publk;
officials, the mayor of Moscow, Mr Gavrill Popov, has proposed a
formal system of payments which would in effect make bribes legal.
"Surely, in any society In any activity, there must be some agreement
between both sWes. Its normal. They have to make a deal", he said.
Tip T o e . . . Off the Balcony
Australians seem to get in trouble wherever they go. This
particularly applies to a young Australian woman who died In
Honduras afterfalling from a third floor balcony. Eye witnesses claim
she was dancing on the bak>)ny when she lost her balance and fell.
Torture in China
Chinese labour leader, Han Dongfang, who was invoked In the
Chinese student protests In 1989, told the New York Times nevrepaper
of his experience In jail. During this time the prison officials had an
acupuncturist stick a tong needle through several Inches of the flesh
on his hand and rake the needle back and forth to maximise the pain.
They also stuck a thirty centimetre tong plastic tube down his throat to
force feed him, after he went on a hunger strike.
Written and researched by Chris Jones
StudeKvt ^ x c k a n g e
A NUMBER OF PLACE ARE STILL
AVAILABLE
for students who would like to spend one year at
the University of California (8 campuses to choose from)
starting in January 1993.
You need to have a credit average and sufficient
funds to support yourself for twelve months.
APPLICATIONS
CLOSE ON MAY 15.
Please contact Gwen Rowe, Student Exchange Liaision
Officer, Clayton Campus
-
Telephone 565 5008.
NEWS
27th April, 1992.
Women's Department Rejected
IDESPREAD
dissatisfaction
by Women's
Groups has marked the
defeat of the Women's
Department proposal
presented to Union Board
on Thursday, 9th April 1992.
W
After a fiantic month of activity by
the women's campaigners, the
proposal, which would have seen the
establishment of a Department worth
some $70,000, was defeated in a
secret ballot by ten votes to three.
The motion to rescind the in
principle support given to the
Women's Department proposal last
year, was moved by general student
representative on Union Board, Mr
David Bennett and seconded by
Suryan Chandrasegaran. In a debate
which lasted over half and hour, Mr
Bennett pointed out that the
Women's Department would
duplicate services already available
to female students. This was
COMMENT
t Is a very sad day
indeed when the
Administrative
Executive (AE) of the
Monash Association of
Students (MAS) go against
the wishes of 800 students.
Thursday 9th April was
such a day. I'm sure that
most of you have heard
mention, If not detail, of the
Women's Department.
he proposed women's
department at Monash
University is 20 years
too late. TVventy years ago
women's representatives
still had to convince
students on campus of
women's equality. Today
male students whose
consciences were formed
during the 1980s, readily
accept women as equals.
A special SGM was called on Tuesday
31st March, to vote on the establishment
of a Women's Department; 'special' in that
students called it, rather than the AE which
is usually the case. The AE would not call
the meeting because a special Student
General Meeting (SGM) requires a larger
number of students for quorum (1080).
Nine hundred and thirty students attended,
four fifths of who voted in favour of the
establishment of the Department
When diere isn't quorum the AE is not
bound by the decisions of an SGM. And
so at the Union Board meeting on
Thursday 9th April, a secret ballot was
held and die vote went 8-3 in favour of die
rescission motion (Last year a motion in
favour of the establishment of a Women's
Department was passed and the matter was
handed on to University Council).
Processes were stopped when the Liberals
put up a rescission motion at the next
Union Board meeting (The SGM was held
to 'gauge sUident opinion' on the matter,
which was overwhelmingly in favour of
the Departments establishment). So there
will be no Women's department as long as
the Liberals hold ofTice.
I do hear lumours that Kerry Baifcer,
Oiairperson of MAS, wants to start her
version of the Women's Department, as pan
of MAS and c^ien it to male students...?
Anyway sisters, fear not, as the
struggle continues we won't be beaten.
Keep your heads up and try not to drown
in this world, where seven men and one
very confiised women can make decisions
and the voice of the masses is not heard.
But hey! That's democracy — and if this
actually gets published I may even be
swayed thatfteedomof speech still exists
on Ibis conservative campus. Onward the
revolution.^
by Sarah Maddlson
This same generation, while
sympathetic to calls for equality, are also
influenced by another '80s phenomena,
that of fiscal re^mnsibility. For the fact is
that there may or may not be a need in the
1990s Monash for some form of
representative women's group on campus.
But before any such representative forum
is established, the self appointed women's
representa- uves must demonstrate that
women cannot be represented
satisfactorily by a cheaper or more
efficient form of bureaucracy.
At the same time as some of the
women's representatives were calmly
pursuing the establishment of a women's
department, many of them were engaging
in sabotage around the university. The
graffid splattered on the Menzies and odier
buildings would no doubt have weighed
heavily on die minds of the decision
maters at Union Board. It also gave those
calling for a secret ballot a stronger argument
dian they might originally have had
In addition the appalling behavior of a
few women at die Student General
Meeting where opponents of the
department were abused for having
anodier opoinion, totally discredited the
women's cause.
Particularly amusing was the claim by
those in favour of the women's department
that the vote in favour of the proposal was
a valid liunus test of snident opinion. With
only 500 of apossiWe 20,000students present,
the only messagefiomthe student body was
that diey just didn't care either way.
A couple of thousand years ago
Socrates proposed the politics of the
middle way — the politics of moderation.
It is an irony dial diis message, delivered
in an era of ancient Greece where women
were denied citizenship, may now hold die
key to the success of the feminist
movement at Monash.4
I
Women's Campaign Co-ordinator
T
Chris Jones
particulaily so in the area of
countering sex-based harassment He
stated that there were already five
avenues available to women with
such complaints. Among them were
seeking the assistance of the Equal
Opportimity representative and the
Counselling Service.
In opposition to this, wcrnien in
favoiu' of the proposal argued that both
LaTYobe aixl Melbourne University
had paid posidons to promote
women's affairs. They also claimed
that a Department was needed to
prevent sexist material on campus. A
Women's Department would aatie
Aierippingdown of sexist material,
such as those advertising die Metro.
Debate also centred around the
legitimacy of a vote in favour of the
proposal at a recent Student General
Meeting.
Making the vote on Union Board
even more controversial was the faa
that the ballot was held in secret
This followed heated debate over
wheUier Union Board representatives
should be prepared to take positions
publicly, or should be allowed to vote
confidentially to avoid intimidation
by women's representatives.
1
After losing the vote, women's
representatives stonned out of the
meeting yelling slogans such as
"sexism rules on campus". At the
conclusion of Union Board some two
hours later, graffiti attacking MAS
representatives as sexist had
appeared on imiveisity buildings.
The defisat of the proposal maAs
the eiKJ of an eight month battle over
the proposed Department.
In one of the final Union Board
meetirtgs of 1991, the outgoing MAS
executive pushed through a motion
of in-principle support for the
fonnation of a Women's Department
This year tensions over the issue
eiupted when proponents of die
Women's Department and in
particular, Sarah Maddison,
Women's Campaign Co-ordinator,
gathered a petition to hold an SGM
on the SlstofMarch. Asreportedin
the last edition of Lot's Wife a motion
in support of die establishment of a
Women's Affairs Committee to be
established under s.2.7 of the MAS
Constitution was upheld by a laige
majority. •
Chris Jonas
The only pizza
worth attacking
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CAMPUS
NEWS
HOLOCAUST W M
Sam Feldman
k
Most of us have been in this
^ ^ n * * worid for a decade or two.
r \
Long enough to have learnt
i^tt^i'f™'**'" 1 ',®
how much there is to leam.
Earlier this century six million
"""•^B
"ll '
Jews were systematically murdered
in the Holocaust during the Nazi
reign of terror. The oiganised
-^M
explosion of antisemitic violence
.^-Ijf
^which swept through Europe killed
one third of Jews then living in the
woild, with no distinction made
between the young and old, old and
HPT*'
i ^ !»* •*?»
weak, sick and healthy.
The Jews were targeted arbitrarily,
defined not by their beliefs or actions,
by their occupations or appearance,
but by the genetic makeup of their
family trees. Men, women, childrenall were defenceless against their
degredation, isolation and murder.
^ i
The Nazis came to power through
tiK democratic process. They were
We commemorate out of respect
element of the Nazi's commitment to,
not unique individuals, demented
to those who perished and tribute to
in HiUer's own words, "the
creatures, sadists or maniacs- tiiey
those who survived.
annihilation of the Jewish race in
were a normal, diverse group caught
Europe". The death camps, shootings
We commemorate to remind
up in a dangerous web of political
and gassings was another.
ourselves and the world of what
and social forces.
It is easy to make excuses, to
happened, what was allowed to
The war against the Jews was not
isolate the circumstances and
happen, and what is always capable
fought Ixtween annies or over
trivialise the horrors as being the
of happening again.
territories. It was fought using skilful
woricofmadmea
We remember.
administration abd management with
It is easy because itreplacesguilt
AH this happened less than fifty
logical plans of attack and careful
andfearwith a naive sense of
years ago, but already amnesia is
evaluation of alternatives. Attempts
security and tnist, and allows us to
setting in. Remembering is difficult,
to erase Jewish culture and its
forget
but forgetting is dangerous. What we
influence by destroying books,
did not see we can look at in photos.
Holocaust Commemoraticm Week
synagogues and cemeteries was one
. What we did not hear we canreadin
is on April 27fli-30th.
It'ft \
« Men,
women,
childrenall were
defenseless
against
their
p l ^ ^ ^ ^ ' ¥ degradation,
isolation
and
murder."
m 11
W^
*
•
••<••
•
-
;
;
•
Jerome LupkesAlonas Bahio
David Dominko
Jamie Scuglia
Daniel Oster/...
Rachaal Hewlett/Andre Roberts
Paul Drew
Nick Welsh
Davkj Moreno
Paul Walsh/Brian Weatherson
Riley Jones/Matthew Pascoe
TUESDAY
^
ALL WEEK
Holocaust ExhibitionUpstairs Union
TUESDAY, APRIL 28
"The Wave"
Potential for arepeatof ihe
Holocaust does exist. A high school
experiment demonstrates tiie ease by
which charismatic leaders can
manipulate the minds of their
followers.
"
i^M^^^ "^
MONDAY
08.00 Disaster Araa
09.00 Time to Grind
10.00 3MU'3 Hot 10 Countdown
11.00 Things Fall Apart
12.00 Kalsidoscope
\M
Activitifls
1.15 Activities
2.15 Juicy Bits
3.15 A Furry Blue Basement
4.15 A WaiTn Marmalade Hour
books. What we did not experience
we can try to understand.
By Helena Forsyth
THURSDAY, APRIL 30
' A unique ceremony entitled
"Unto Every Person There
Is A Name" will take place in
Melbourne City Square from 12pm to
2pm. The idea is to personalise the
individual tragedies of the victims of
die Holocaust by reading aloud tiieir
names, their birthplace, age and place
ofdeath in cities across AusD'alia. •
support and organises fim social functions
which include diimers, nights out to gay
Or anywhere else for that matter
night/dance-clube and pub nights with
^ ^ - even at Monash. After alL
Melbourne and Latrobe Gay societies.
/ \
" ^
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29
• Holocaust Commemoration
Service
Includes
-Gary Gray, Holocaust survivor,
speaking on his experience.
-Daniel Kahan, cellist, performs
"Oratario- The Nazi Doctors".
-Memorial Prayer and candle
lighting.
«^^^
sexuality is very complex. In
Each Tuesday we meet for both lunch and
08.00 Bad Motorrmger
10.00 AZ2 You Like It
11.00 SUange Fruit
12.00 This Worid, Our Hosp»al
1.00 Art & Texta
1.15 A Town Like Monash
2.15 Blues Derived
3.15 Leaders Of Men " '
5.15 Thrash Attack
WEDNESDAY
08.00 Saviors Of Soul
10.00 Bach & Bite .
11.00 The Nudge Factor
12.00 Radio One
1.15 Stories For The Deaf
2.15 Swampland
3.15 Rooms Of The Magnificent
4.15 The Odd Couple
THURSDAY
Codd/Hickson/Staigar/Morrlson
ArronSeeber
Fiona Skepper
Andrew Simpson/ David Taybr
Sally (Student Theatre)
Bail's/Marit Schumacher
Martin Mdmosh/ Aaran Manlns
Con Sarantopoulos/CSabrial Valla/..
C. Keppert/S. Harper/G. Daniel
09.00
Tolly Morgan/Justin Newman
Kingsley.Nash/ Kevin.Taykir
M. Percy/Clive Btower/Alex Drijaca
An Kasapyan
Bronnie Tweddle/ Dave Phillips
Thalia KyvemKakis
Nada Bojic
Dan Trinade/ Sean Lucy/Simon Hall
of "heterosexual". This way; we know what
friendly support or just someone to talk to:
we're supposed to want, how we're supposed
you may get in contact with Gay
to behave and thus who we're supposed to
Collective by calling Student Gayline on
Collective exists to provide a social forum
meetings, or if this is difficull, by dropping
Raoul Cen/ini/Jamas Higgs
Sarah Charing/Una Collins/Alan Dorin
Kris DolAyn /Chris Tomkins
Andrew Dockery/Matt Analli
Tony Duong (Tony D.)
Jon Savedra/Bruce McGregor
for meeting other *^ot quite straight"
into the gay room during lunchtime on
people. Despite its name - "Gay"
another day or contacting us via our
Collective, it is open to both guys and girls
letter-box behind the union desk. We hope
of all sexualities, including gay-friendly
to see you soon!
10.00 Let Your Freak Flag Fly
11.00 Eclectic
12.00 Rant'n'Rave
1.15 Flipslde
2.15 Virtual Reality
3.15 Slice of Heaven
4.15 TW.W.O.M.G.
FRIDAY
10.00 Top of the Beanstalk
11.00 Obscure
12.00 Waiting lor Sto
1.15 Boot In Mouth
3.15 Monash Hit List
4.15 Fuzzbox Carnage
David Oakley/ Ernie Margitta
Michael Qui
John Monahan
Richard Miglk;
Brendan Ouinn/ E. Bergln/K. O'Connor
Fiona Neilson
Andrew Maher/John Muncey
Chris Greenhalgh/David Williamson
fact, there are arguably as many difTerent
social chit-chat at Ipm in B-25, (the Gay
sexualities as there are people. It's certainly
room), which is located in the cellar of the
not as simple as: straight, bisexual or gay.
northern extension of the union building.
There will always be those who fall in
(See p.l26 of your student diary). Gay
between these main categtmes and at varying
Collective can also inform you about other
levels, who identify themselves as being, for
"gay" social groups in the commimity for
example, predominantly heten>8exual and
guys and girls and discussion groups
yet physically attracted to membeis of the
which exist for guys where topics such as:
same s e x It is because sexuality is complex,
coming out, safe sex, relationships,
that many of us are somewhat unsure of our
liricndships and self-esteem are discussed.
sexuality, identifying with neither of the
If you're interested in getting involved
tcmis "gays" or •'bisexual", and preferring to
with the club, want to find out more, have
believe that we belong to Uie rigid category
queries about yotir sexuality, need advice,
be.
565-4195 between 12-3pm daily, by
On the Gayton campus, Ihe Gay
heterosexuals. The club ofTos firiendsbip,
coming along to one of our Tuesday
Gay See
•
COMMENT
nth April, 1992.
The y e n t Demos explained...
V j y There have so far been
Jit two National Days of
I Action, t h e basic
objectives of which have
been to appeal for better
AUSTUDY conditions, to object
to the Loans Scheme proposed
by Bruce Chapman, and to protest
against the disproportionately
low funding of tfertiary Education
by the Labor Government.
These "Days of National Action"
have been labelled riots, rallies,
demonstrations, and also, bloody
good excuses to miss lectures
and get pissed with students
from all over 'Wctoria (the last
stop at both Demo's has been
the pub). Attendance by Monash
students has been pitiful, with
about 70 at the March 26 Demo,
and 40 at the April 15. Melbourne
Uni has managed to march close
to ten times this amount of
people down Swanston walk to
the city square both times. Yet
most students I have spoken to
around Clayton campus, don't
really know what the issues are,
and some just don't care. I
would like to explain why people
are demonstrating, and why it is
worth taking an interest.
AUSTUDY provides students
that qualify for it with at most
$117 a week, less if combined
parental income exceeds $20,600.
This is around 40% below the
poverty line. Students under 25,
whose parents earn over $44,000 a
year (combined), are not entitled
to any AUSTUDY whatsoever,
even if their parents refuse to
fund them through Uni. The dole
is currently $130 a week, plus up
EASTER
$
^
By Hoi Gr««nhamJ
to $30rentassistance (if your
savings are below a certain level),
and is available to 18 years old
regardless of parental income.
In Australia today, some
students who have the desire and
potential to be excellent graduates
are unable to study at University
because of their financial or
family situation. For education in
Australia to function at its best, a
priority must be to provide
incentive and support for
disadvantaged students to gain
access to places in our universities.
Bruce Qiapman's Loan
Scheme proposed that instead of
giving very low income students
the low AUSTUDY allowance
currently in place, students would
receive two years free AUSTUDY
and then could take out a
zero-interest loan from the
Government, which would be
payable back in a similar way to
HECS, when a suitable income
level isreached.Students whose
parents refused to put them
through uni, could receive
indejjendent support at 21 (the
age of independence is currently
25). Yet Chapman also projwsed
that only the most needy of
students should receive
interest-free loans. After the cut
off for interest-free loai\s, students
would be offered near
commercial-rate loans. The
Government has stated that the
proposal has been shelved, but so
was HECS, and then it was
brought in a year or two later.
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NUS vowed to oppose the Loans
Scheme to the death, and decided
it was time to organise a few
displays of student feeling about
our cash flow situation.
March 26 was thefirstDay of
Action. All Victorian Universities
sent busloads of students and by
2:00pm, about 3,000 students had
gathered in the City Square and
along Swanston StreetThe
decision was made to march
through Swanston Street, up
Bourke Street to the steps of
Parliament, where an open forum
on education Issues was to be
held. It was decided that the
forum would take place "on" the
stef)s, yet as the students headed
up Bourke Street, it was evident
that the police had blockaded the
third step of Parliament House,
thereby denying the protesters
access to the planned final
destination of their
demonstration. Yet a small group
of protesters broke through the
barricade, andrantriumphantly
up to the top of the steps,
appealing to the masses to follow.
Meanwhile, students had been
arrested and held in a diwy van,
and therallymoved to surround
the van, demanding the freedom
of the captured. Things got ugly
at this point. Students threw
stones and other objects, and
pulled a policeman off his horse.
It became apparent that militant
socialist factions had begun to
donunate the protest. Eventually,
the students were released and
the rally ended in the city square.
Many people have condemned
the actions of the students that
resisted the police that day. Of the
3,000 in the rally, the 50 or so that
were in the thick of the action,
dominated the media's portrayal
of the event This small group
consisted largely of members of
radical or militant groups, such as
Workers Revolution, Spartucus,
and The International Socialist
Organisation. These groups
consider themselves oppressed by
capitalism, and are more than
willing to employ violence, when
necessary, to further their cause.
A crucial question to ask is
why the demonstration was
denied access to the steps of
Parliament? Are the people of our
democratic nation not allowed to
gather on the steps of a public
building? The fact is that if the
rally was aUowed to finish
peacefully on the steps of
Parliament, no arrests would have
been made, no police versus
student aggression would have
started, and none of the violence
that followed would ever have
happened.
The morning before the
second demonstration, police
squads burst into the homes of
five students at dawn,arresting
and charging the students with
"Illegal Assembly". It was an
obvious attempt to gain
information about, and to disrupt
the April 15, "Day of Action".
The demonstration assembled
again in the city square. There
was a notable media presence.
Student numbers were down to
around 1,500, the violent events of
the last demonstration frightening
off many potential demonstrators.
Although the Socialist chants
were once again audible, most
students came in hope of a
peaceful demonstration about
education.
A student theatre group,
consisting largely of Monash
students performed a skit in
which the grim reaper of
education poUcy used scythes to
silence the tormented souls of
students crying over the problems
with the education system. The
raUy was greeted at Parliament
House by 130 police and 8
mounted police in perfect
formation, looking ready for
"Tlanneman Square part n"(with
Australian subtitles), lining the
steps. But therallyrolledmerrily
on to the Russell Street lock-up,
barely even gesturing towards the
barricade.
Victory speeches and
arrangements for the third and
final Day of Action ended the
demoi\stration. Then it was time
for a beer.
This third and final "Day of
Action" will take place on May
20. The student marches so far
have gained national media
coverage, promoting widespread
awareness about our cause and
making it clear to politicians that
students are serious about
AUSTUDYreform.The
demonstration will be the biggest
so far, and if enough concerned,
informed (preferably Monash)
students are present, the effect
wUl be huge. EDUCATION FOR
ALL—NOT JUST THE RICH!
i
J
COMMENT
The F'word
/%
Reflecting recently on
^
the standard of language
« ^ ^ being used these days in
Australia, I was appalled to notice
how may tinies I, myself, am
tempted to use the dreaded f-word.
Yes, although my mother always
cautioned me against uttering
"Frankstonl" when we have
company (and the shocking
consequences such an outburst
could lead to), I have continued to
do so in times of great foistration,
anger or excitement. I really must
learn to control my expression
(although the urge may be great) so
as not to offend or emt>arrass those
people much more eloquent and
articulate than myself.
But hang on . . . those are the
people who also tend to condemn
that other Infamous yet very cool
f-word. Dont tfiey realise that with
the censoring of one o( the
grooviest words In our language
comes the narrowing of wonderful young minds (and the Inability of
Japanese catfish to accurately
predict earthquakes). Indeed, "fuck"
is our most versatile word. By Its
stress and inflection it can describe
may emotkins. It can be used as a
noun (I don't give a fuck); as an
adjective (it's a fucking beauty); as
a verb in its transitive form (the
game was fucked up by the
weather) and its Intransitive form
(he well and truly fucked it up); in
the present tense (I am fucked); in
the past tense (I was fucked); and
in the future tense (I'll tw fucked).
^
Many everyday expressions
show Its tnje versatility:
DENIAL
I didn't fucking do it
•9SIU90
PERPLEXITY
I know fuck all atxHJt it
APATHY
Who gives a fuck anyway?
GREETING
How the fuck are ya?
RESIGNATION
Oh fuck H!
DERISION
He fucks everything up.
SUSPICION
Who the fuck are you?
DIRECTIONS
Fuck off?
DISBELIEF
How the fuck dkl you do that?
The word has been used by
many famous people throughout
history, the most notable being:
What the fuck was that?
fTfte Major of Hiroshima)
Look at all those fucking Indians.
(General Custer)
Where the fuck is all that water
coming from?
(Captain of ttw Titanic)
It fucking kxiks like her. (Picasso)
Scattered showers my fucking
arse I (Noali)
IHow the fuck did you work that
out? (Pytfiagonis)
You want what on the fucking
celling? (Michaelangelo)
Fuck a Duck. (Walt Disney)
Well, fuck me dead.
(Billy Sneddon)
Oonl you tucking worry about
that (Joh)
I'll be fucked.
(Susan
Peacock-Sangster-Renouf etc)
Dan's Oiafribe
Dan Davison
"Bloody Uft Wingers!"
That's the cry that is going to echo
around this and other campuses if the
International Socialists and the Left
Alliance (whoever they are) don't
stop their stuffing around.
We witnessed an absolutely
appalling demonstration of mindless
thuggery and violence at the Austudy
rally in the city last month. 22
policemen were injured (one with
brolcenribs), windows were
smashed, and a police car severely
damaged. Why? So the International
Socialists could claim in a leaflet
published afterwards that they had
struck a blow against police brutality.
What crap! A simple matter of
mathematics (no. of police vs no. of
students), biology (extent of injuries
suffered) and criminology (damage
caused) will tell you who were the
real aggressors.
The ISO also claimed that it had
"militantly occupied the parliament
steps in a peaceful protest". This
statement contains three problems
that can only be labelled as utter
stupidity:
S^SC43 Q S^JV 9VI ^
As has previously tjeen pointed
out in this esteemed journal, it is
ridiculous to "storm" the steps of
State Parliament and harass Joan
Kimer when this is in fact a federal
issue. The words "militantly occupy"
and "peaceful protest" don't really fit
together. Sorry guys, but you
militantly occupy somewhere like
Nicaragua, i m the Parliament steps.
All that your leaflet proves is that you
arc trying to sensationalise a pretty
banal story.
Now, we hear there is to be a
second "National Day of Action",
which will have occurred by the time
this article goes to print. Apparently,
some of the members of the
committee who organise these things
walked out on the Left Wmg inspired
vote to rerun last month's affair. I
don't really blame them, considering
what happened last time. People such
as Tbny White, NUS president,
should be applauded fordoing the
sensible thing and distancing
themselves from the event. Let's only
hope the ISO behave themselves this
time, radier than trying to push some
half-baked notion that they represent
the underdogs of the world. ^
S^
puB
m
27th April, 1992.
COMMENT
FOOTBIIIL HEilT PIEI, WNGHIiOOS P POUTia
• Fhll dray V HK WNU
The by-election
was a freakish result, the result of an
unusual collection of
circumstances. It is
unlikely these would
all be repeated at a
general election.
We are imlikely, therefore, to
see a new crop of independent
MPs appearing. It is rather more
Ukely that Phil Qeary, if not Ted
Mack, will be defeated once the
people know they are choosing a
government rather than a single
individual. Whether Phil Qeary
will have some influence on
policy when he gets to Parliament
remains to be seen, but one
suspects not. The House of
Representatives is not geared to
take much account of the views of
the single individual; there will
not be many times when he will
actually get to speak on the floor
of the House. One suspects his
importance in Canberra will be
symbolic rather than practical.
However, WUs registered a
significant protest vote of which
the major petrties should take
note. In some ways Wills was a
disturbing result. It demonstrated
the gap which has opened up, in
poorer working class areas
especially, between the voters and
both major parties. Working class
voters by and large do not
understand what is happening to
them or their job, or why. The
finer points of structural or
micro-economic reforms are lost
on them. This indicates poor
communication on the part of
both parties. It is true that an
Professor Hugh Emy
electorate like Wills is among the
worst affected by the reforming
process, with unemployment over
18%. It is unlikely to improve
quickly because emplojonent in
Wills depends so much on
industries adversely affected by
tariff cuts, such as textiles,
clothing and footwear.
Nevertheless, structural reform is
as much a cultural as an economic
process. Those affected by it, and
certainly those put out of work by
it, have to be reassured that the
pain will be short term, and new
jobs will appear in the future.
They also have to be compensated
adequately during the process of
adjustment. Thore is no real sign
that either party fully
understands these points. The
Liberals seem too ready to think
of unemployment as a side issue
or transitional problem. Clearly,
structural unemployment will be
with us for some time yet.
Although One Nation emphasises
job creation, it still does not
provide much solace by way of
new industries to absorb people
woMe-wV LIS. \S f\uve
/A*»o iweuL poWi^ Tiig j j m :
displaced from the clothing, and
allied trades in Wills.
Wills demonstrates that,
despite a near<onsensus between
the parties over what has to
happen for Australia to survive
economically, a significant part of
the electorate does not
understand the reasoning behind
this consensus. If reform is to
succeed, this lack or
understaiuUng has to be
addressed. Neither party has
provided a clear timetable of how
the structural reform should
proceed, including the
approximate dates by which the
transition process will be
accomplished. Neither party has
provided clear reasons, which the
electorate can understand, as to
why we are dismantling tariff
barriers so rapidly shrinking the
public sector, pursuing award
restructuring and so on. There is
an urgent need for the parties to
explain to the electorate more
about what is happening.
The parties are naturally
trying to play down this result.
Phil Cleary, however, isrightto
say that his victory cannot just be
vmtten off as due to a local hero.
He certainly was the best
candidate but he also spoke for a
large portion of traditional
Australia. He expressed their
desire to slow down if not reverse
the process of tariff reform. Mr
Keating luis partially addressed
this point but both parties should
reconsider their tariff policies
with a view to matching tariff
cuts to the pace of micr-economic
reform, while taking a more
realistic view of what some of our
competitors are doing. This does
not mean returning to
protectionism, as Cleary appears
to want. Rather, it means
recognising that a more
productive economy has to be
achieved via a range of policies,
of which tariffs cuts are just one.
This set of policies must be
consistent with one another Tariff
cuts should not be treated as a
panacea. It is foolish to reduce
tariffs if that means displacing too
many people who cannot be
absorbed into other sectors. It is
also foolish to endanger
leading-edge industries like the
automobile industry. In other
words, while tariff cuts are an
important part of structural
reform, they are a means to an
end; and that end is trying to
build up more efficient, export
orientated industries. If rapid
tariff cuts do not contribute to
that end they should be
reassessed.
There is a real risk that
neither party will pay sufficient
attention to the message of Wills.
Dr Hewson says that the Liberals
have to work harder to get their
policy across. This is probably
wrong. The message has got
across and the voters do not like
it. Perhaps Dr Hewson is locked
in to the GST but maybe it is not
too late to start tinkering with that
package, conceivably by lowering
the impact of the tax on food and
clothing. One would like to see
that Liberals also backing away
from their flat, uncompromising
commitment to zero tariffs by the
year 2000 and also showing more
real concern for the social
implications of structural
unemployment
Labor's policy needs to clarify
its focus. Wills clearly shows that
One Nation lacks vision. Labor
voters do not know what kind of
society their government is trying
to create. They find it difficult to
differentiate the Labor from
Liberal level playing field
approaches. Labor and Mr
Keating need to address the fears
of its supporters more explicitly
by placing structural reform
within a more detailed social
program. Labor needs to explain
what it is trying to do and why
and it also needs to explain to its
supporters how the market
economyfitswith their traditional
goal of a just society. Conceivably
the model of a social market
economic would allow Mr
Keating to link both market
reforms and Labor's traditional
concerns for social justice.O
d
\10
M.A.S. Acnvrnss. iii ^i KMX
)PRESENTSC
FROM THE UNITED STATES
SCATTERBRAIN
CANDY HARLOTS
AND
DEF RYME
TUESDAY 12 MAY at 8 pm
UPSTAIRS UNION BUILDING
27th April 1992.
FEATURE
^.
'P
THE recent controversy oW(Bf Bob Thomas'
Lot's WV/earticle "Beware oljhe U.ft.F.s" highlightki the evter presbnt but ihlfleHdisdussed issue
of "political coH^ctnes'is^" at IVlonash.'ni^foitowing
review of Oinesh D'Souza'^ffftberadJEducs/Uortanalyses
sln^ilar trends at Ainerican campules and^he possible
conil|equen(%sfor AMStralianuniven^ities. \
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r case of JHe Hmitatihg art, Anlnrica is gitwing to rljsemble more
I more'flf/je Bonljre of the ManiOes. (Ver and al^ve the i^tural American
Qdency tddyard voyeurism, sSpsationaffsm and piiblic neufiSsisvlhe contusion
PbvocculturaLheritage sjfid sociaf^res wiich has afflicted Afflkericasince the
W seem^^o be reaS^ing a ne*( peak, -j
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'\nu!toer of recent event»t)ear this (ujt:
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the wisive andftystericartlebate o % what s!%)uld havibeen thft.straightrerward
nominijion of JiJi^e Clarence Thonftafe;
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the brewtog controversy over the SOOthlgnniversaw celebr^ons of OpIumbusVoyage to
America -Aptans ar9.,jalready B^ing rnadlkjo disrup^sJhe celeVation of »n evenn^inority
activists sefip^s repre^nting the actions o f ^ e genoi^al, Europentric, sf xist, ra<S^t, impeileiist
white male;- ' v
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in what seeme*)^ straightforward case of purafc Indectsij^cy { g ^ i ^ n eng*ing in sax with ead>,
other in ^ public i3erl<), a nufipber of trt? convictan^ and t h * - familieVppea''^o" Donahue, ineflgriantly
and unashamedlyjbtptestingtheir innois^nce, ctateiing disc^minatioh>^and infrl^emenfipf th^r ri^ts.
T.hose whAcritlcisedTeither theV actions (or homo^Sxijal acttvitv in ae'fterat^ we?te shou'iie down as'either
•bigd^d' or 'homophobiff.
If ofie adds tHe chaotic oi
one ean only conclude that Amerifea is a ddSsply troul^ed nation, Dinesfi D'Souza's Illiberal
-•'-'.vcaf/OT, a masterly sttidy of the'ffiodsmJi^ericgin'^r''"' ••'••• -•'•ic"? ••''''••'-.fndi^; *
•hiSMmpcegsi&n. If anything, t h i f e are m'tKjtrlivors'
".er aM, much b( this idefegical riaurosis be^in. An
harassment" includes "the'yse of d^ogatory ft^mor
and "c'Snspfcuoils exclusion '"-n f^"''f>rn"fe"''
f a ^eno'
^^<.,.„w ana admin..
a number of majtk Amencsn campit^
. I'l iohiiosophlsiiir V"'I'l " "
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dubptioa, Westerrf^ocie
''•*'»'itJonally'fexist.mcisi
TOversieS over Jtldge Claf
"tefdi h\o the w i d ^ Ame>
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entagsin-^-"»"•••' --•
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'"^est ftT
i-.a^ conservative and
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!he Oarmouih
.^as o n ^ editor). Althoughl"
-ihrase 1*era/e. - .
.,-. . . ,.,j „.„:,d«|,andweallknowrou '"
itrn.eanb, lliero e.-e very tew aitagipts to'fconstruct andpron
'•.!ia.;fci.. ' . f ' j i c i Qf it, Whs^i there a^e appeals to particular valu
ose sui^ as 'toltonce' arj^ 'freedom' which appeal both to libe]1
•;onserv*atives. %>r6 markedly conservative t h e m ^ such ?^s (h
importance of ths»yvestern cultural tradition afe view
ifee;
prism of sljch values.
"^
Strategical^ this approach seems to h%e worke
wisft readership, as well as audienca^on speSUng touri
tel#vision. Even before the attival of iWtera/^Ealhi^n, (
|atK)ut 'Political Correctness' tt^ b e g u m l ^ a r i t f ^ U b ^ l t t
non-conservatives. $incse 19gi£ Americ^tit>era^i|evs con
increasingly on s l « , with ^ t i c a t i o r q | . s u c h SiThe N$
crff
ions|;nostno|
d a lon^xcen
a d d ^ t u e l to fWs fire.
works s ^ h as lllm^ral £c/dbaf)on E
isrttjonl^ey receive as evid^ce of I
\
\
ouza envisages an inexorable anilcomp
"demic revplution, made iiipvital
'rement of older liberal facility a
^placement with young radic'&Js.
..proar has, of caurse, been wfttten
.rariy oh the Left a*! oiff'-^r f i " 'ivlrre
1 conservative t
ne. ^ r n e r i - g t l t i i ' ^
•J*
FEATU RE
12
ftn fitiitx i0
alman) ®ij0mas
By Catherine Henderson
S
o, Bob, you have wittily
changed your name and become the free speech champion
of the world: full marks for originality.
But, Bob, you should tell your friends
at Lot's Wife that hiding behind free
speech placards doesn't prove anything; there are still questions to be
answered about your article on
"URFs". In your "Salman Thomas" interview, I read that when you were told
the Lot's editors "copped a lot of flak"
about printing your article, you asked
"Who cares?" and Lot's replied "We
don't". I was a bit shocked. Bob. We all
know that editorial independance is a
good thing, but there's a lot of
Amenities Fee dollars being bandied
around here; I had hopes that Lot's
Wife would at least listen to criticism,
and think about it a bit
As I see it, there ate two main
issues to be addressed in the "URF'
controversy: firstly, whether Lot's
Wife should have printed your article
and secondly, the validity or
otherwise of your puldished
assertions.
Free speech is a fumy thing. Bob.
Superficially it might seem warm arid
fiizzy and ideal, but most people
recognise that there must be
constraints. In the case of Lot's Wife,
there are official constraints to free
speech: as part of MAS policy, no
racist, sexist or militarist material can
be published. (1 fondly remember the
days when Lot's Wife printed this
editorial policy on its first page each
issue.) For instance, I hope you'd
agree that someone who wished to
publish an article in Lot's Wife,
about, say, the moneygrubbing habits
of Jews should berefusedon the
grounds that such an article would be
appallingly racist atvl pointlessly
offensive to a great many readers.
Similarly, a sexist article should not
be printed.
This is where the obvious
question of "what is sexism?" pops
up, not unrelated to tlie question of
"what is racism?". In the case of the
hypothetical anti-Jewish article
above, it seems to me that the racism
lies in the judgment of people
entirely on the basis of a certain
opinion of their ethnic group.
Similarly, sexism is judging people
on the basis of a concept of their sex
group. It's not simply an
easily-overlooked question of
"political correctness", Bob- it's a
matter of offensiveness. G'm not sure
you understand that your article
caused me and many others real pain.)
I must confess here that I have
never met an URF as you describe
them. Bob. (For instance, I have
never met anyone who believes in
campaigning "via castration".) I am
tempted to say you are making URFs
up- how clever, to make people up
and then deliver scathing criticisms
on the way they are. However, I
presume your harsh words were
originally aimed at any woman who
believes that feminism is more active
than, in your words, a "monitoring of
the state of [day". In any case, you
have judged URFs on the basis of
tbeir fonaleness. Because they didn't
measure up to your specifications,
you felt you had a mandate to
criticise them as women: Beware the
URFs, for they want to castrate men,
they try to "avoid any outward
manifestation of sexual identity",
they are "male-hating", they reject
a[^reciative glances, tliey are
sexually unattractive ("certainly vox.
the product of someone's fatuasy"),
they are "mutated" and "ugly", they
are "anti-sexual". All these barbs are
either judgments which measure
URFs against your concept of what a
woman should be like, or simply
vengeance for not measuring up to
your demands. That is sexist. Bob. I
was offended to be described in such
a way. Lot's Wife sliould not have
printed your sexist anicle.
A deeper issue is the acmal
substance of your article. First of all,
Bob, let's examine your concept of
"common-or garden feminists". You
describe "rational, intelligent"
feminists as those who believe a
revolution has been won. Apparently,
women have achieved complete
equality with men and there is
nothing left to do but sit in the Small
Cafe and enjoy everyone's
chromosonal differences. But, Bob,
inequality isrife;there are obvious
indicators aU around you. How many
female professors do you see at uni?
How many female politicians are
there? Why is it that women perform
most of the childcaring duties in our
society? Why do womenreceive60%
of the male wage for equivalent
woric? What does the existence of the
Shaft Cinema Imply about attimdes to
women? How many women are
raped each year? It seems quite
amazing to me that you can say a
revolution has been won.
As for enjoying
testosterone-soaked "appreciative
glances", I don't feel that I should
have to. I know some people like
flirting and that's fine, mostly. But as
for me, I associate male appreciative
glaiKes with the man in the pub who
stared appreciatively at my breasts,
with the strange man at the nightclub
who ^preciatively brushed his hands
over them, with the old man on the
train who appreciatively stared at my
legs, masturbated, and tried to touch
me. All those incidents have been
very painful to me; they make me
feel like a body rather than a person,
an all-too-accessible and invaded
body. Lots of other women I know
feel the same.
it's sad that castration anxiety seems
to have got the better of you).
Sexuality Is an Issue in feminism, but
I have never heard anyone suggesting
abolishing it Maybe you had
lesbianism in mind (you seemed to
coyly dodge around ttiat topic);
lesbians do not aim to extlnguisb
male sexuality, they simply try not be
involved with IL As for URFs
supposedly avoiding manifesting
their sexual identity, I suspect that it's
just your concept of sexual identity
which Is different from other
people's. (And if people want to hide
their sexuality, why can't they?)
The idea of feminism, Bob, is to
identify areas where women do not
get an equal say and equal
opportunity to men, and try to change
it These areas include Issues such as
childcare, violence, employment
opportunities,reproductiverightsatK)
sexual harassment Many feminists
also believe that because men have
been In control for so long, our very
social structures are a male product:
If women had been and were more
Involved In structuring society, things
would be different I am that kirxl of
feminist Bob, but whatever brand a
Bob, even if some people like
feminist might be, you should not
flirtation, you have to be careful.
Nobody should be treated as a sexual condemn the way they look, or their
refusal of sexual advances, or dieir
object if they don't want to be. Bob!
You do not possess therightto Invade sexuality. You should not blinded by
anyone's self In such a manner if they irrational hatreds, ascribe false beliefs
don't want it, whatever your motives to feminists and then condenm them
for it You should not try and pass
are. Neither can you question
sexism off as an expression of free
anyone'srightto be upset at your
speech. Regardless of your opinion of
appreciative leers.
feminism. Bob, no-one deserves to be
This is not to say that feminists
degraded.
despise male sexuality, and wish to
extinguish it (as you say URFs do;
B
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27th April, 1992.
13
SQUABBLES
Democracy at Monash
By Brian Weatherson
A
Labor students believe
^ ^ 9 that all representatives
W
should be accountable
to their electorate. In particular,
this means there should not be
secret ballot votes held on any
representative body. If a
representative is not confident
enough to declare their position,
then it is inconceivable that they
would feel strongly enough to
vote on the matter.
We believe that the actions of
Kerry Barker and Jeremy
Parkinson in voting to hold a
secret ballot on the Women's
Department, was indefensible.
The student body deserves the
right to know if our student
representatives followed student
wishes. When a vote is called,
our student representatives must
be held accountable, just as they
are financially. What is the point
of making SGM policy and
voicing student concerns, If they
are to be ignored ancl\or hidden
from those who they represent.
The fundamental point is,
however, that a student
representative must be
responsible to students. The
secret ballot at Union Board
removed any responsibility, not
only from the Chairperson and
Treasurer of MAS, but from the
general student representatives,
the Clubs and Societies
representatives.the post
graduate representative, and the
part-time representative. If a
student representative is not
willing to be accountable, then
he or she should not be a
student representative.
The only possible reason for
calling a secret ballot over the
Women's Department, is If the
people calling for if do not feel
they are representing student
opinion in the way they are
voting. As student
representatives, if they don't feel
the way they vote represents
students, they shouldn't vote that
way; or, if they feel so strongly
about the matter, they should
vote that way openly so they can
be held accountat>le. •
The Night of the Secret Ballot
By Jeff Sharp
L^ At Union Board
1 1 1 1 ^ ^ meeting no.3/92 the
vote to rescind the
proposed women's department
came up once again, and after
lengthy debate.it was moved
that the recision motion be put,
and with that came a call for a
ballot, i.e. a written vote as
opposed to a show of hands.
The issue of a ballot has now
superseded the issue of a
women's department as a point
• of contention.
The question of 'democracy'
has been raised. Surely nothing
can be more democratic than a
ballot, taken without coercian
from outside elements, with
those entitled to vote expressing
their right to vote In the manner
they believe is in the best
interests of all Union members.
There would be a perversion of
democracy if those entitled to
vote were intimidated in anyway
and forced to vote along a
specific line.
The women's department
was a contentious issue (as
conceded at Union Board), with
emotions running high and
intimidating remarks coming
from the group of observers at
the Union Board meeting.
in the light of the previous
week's "castrate Bob Thomas"
and "kill Bob Thomas" graffiti,
the Union Board members were
certainly not out of order in
voting for a ballot that would limit
any coercian from the observers
gallery when taking their vote.
Of course it did not stop any
intimidation, as immediately after
the vote was taken, black texta
graffiti was scrawled on the
windows of MAS offices and on
the Menzies building. This just
gives weight to the arguments In
favour of a secret ballot on ttie
women's department. •
The Australian Nice Party
^ ^ No, we're not
11 I I ^ F ' discouraged. Just
because a stupid
Turner's hairdo, and so we urge
you to go for the Nice alternative.
independant football hero can
poll 20,000 more votes than us
in one of our stronger
electorates does not effect us
one bill 'Mergatroyd' led a
strong, though underfunded
campaign, and will now be
demoted to Shadow Shadow, as
a result of his pathetic showing.
The signs, though, are obviousthe swing against Labour is
directly proportional to the
number of unemployed. They're
headed for massive defeats
nationwide. It's just a question of
who will win. Liberal cire simply
about as popular as Tina
Michael Hutchence. Not to
mention other likely inclusions;
Robert Dipierdomenico, Andrew
Ettinghausen, Hayley Lewis and
Ugly Dave Grey. Yes, they'll
have good policies too...when
we figure some out...llke...um
...ID cards for anyone with
consonants in eittier their first or
sumamesll Yeah....and....let's
see...Free Taxlll...er..l mean no
taxi!..and Free Sexll Yeah, that's
what I meant in the first placell
Just a Freudian slip I guess. •
Monash University Kindergarten
(Elwyn Morey Centre)
By Sir Lionel Bloomingcrap
We, at the ANP have worked
it all out, and will soon t)egin a
mighty nationwide recruiting
campaign. Before too long, our
Front Bench should Include Gary
Ablett, Tony Lockett, Graham
Cornes, Wally Lewis and
V A C A N C I E S 1993
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June 30th 1989
Phone: 565 2887
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Come into any Hui\yry
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The disamnt even npplies
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HUNfiinr
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Resistance
J^useless.
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27th April, 1992.
15
F E A T U R E
MO 0 0
^f 6(dkMc/^au(fUm
t has become known as St Kilda...littered
mean in creating bonds with the people
withfishand chips shops, dogs and their
and their land?...who knows what It is to
doings, trendy pubs and cafes, homeless
hove your culture decimated, your
birth-place stolen and then forced to
people, up-market town-houses, massive
assimilate speak English, eat. think and die in
gardens, the gentle cooing of pigeons and
a foreign culture..the
Invader's
squawking of the ever-present seagulls, the
tongue..Nunga, Koorie, Murri cultures have
hum of a yuppy's BMW...for many the place
been commodlfled..to sit dormant in a
to be seen...underneath the masses of conmuseum or some wealthy person's
crete and apartment blocks lies the land of
home..stolen the land, now the aim Is to
the Warangarl people., they were never
steal the spirit..anthropologists and linguists
consulted about the future "developments'
upon their homeland...those who didn't die
<< Aren't you squatters going continue the assouitl
from Imported diseases or lead poisoning
The notion-state of Australia ensures the
to ask if I want to sell?"
were shipped off to some iong-forgotten
unlikelihood of sovereignty...Bob Hawke,
camp, where they were left to die...Luna broken....it has become a nightmare...the upon his recent dismissal, told how
Park is built on stolen landl...the St Kilda so dance of creation..the celebration..echoes recognition and reconciliation with
many Melburnians visit and like Is built upon through the sticks, didgeridoo, rocks, sea, aboriginal people is necessary for Australia's
the suffering and terror of our Indigenous grass...prick up our ears and hear the future..morelies...the Liberals when they get
peoples and their lands... in the name of the sounds., the sounds of llfe..respect their in office plan to cut funding, revoke land
Queen, Country and Progress...! wonder way.-drone of the didge...touches the deep rights..ATSIC Is in white bureaucrats'
what this area looked like before the in- repressed connection of people and hands..paternalism is rlfe..not far from the
land..there is much we don't know.
vasion?
re-enactment thie battle lines ore drawn No poilution...no ugly buildings...no need
In 204 B.C. (Before Cookl), the Koorie Fitzroy Street. Thornbury. Dandenong. Lake
to escape the terrors of tiie modern world- peoples of the 'Melbourne' region lived a Tyers..in Victoria and throughout Australia.
It is January 26. 1992 - INVASION DAY - In meaningful life., something we, as the aboriginal people continue to resist..the
the white medio it Is more commonly called commodlfled
and
Indoctrinated resistance Is building..justice will be done.
Australia Day...a day to remember what Westerners, have problems fathoming...we
Non-Koories feel guilty..lt allows them not
Australia really stands for. this really are literally worlds apart..they lived In to act. .to passively support the destruction
depends who you talk to...what does It communion with their land..they were part and genocide..look how we treat
mean to be Australian in this multicultural of It and It was a part of them, .ritual kept their nature..they are inextricably linked..the
land? We are here on St Kilda's beach to bond, .their kinship system tied them to the logic of domination pervades, .We freak
re-create the colonisation ...how the land..The dreaming nourished and nurtured about Redfern and the many other Koorie
mythologlsed first meeting should have their existence...they had no need for settlements - scared they will try to kill us. .we
happened... Recreation of invasion ... telephones,TV's. prisons, shopping centres don't soy anything when 135 police officers
dancers from Northern Queensland., with or nr>oney..the history we are taught is a raid Redfern In an obvious show of force..or
Gary Foley on the mike..Joe Gala He..the history of Australia starts with when more than 100 Koorles die In prison, .we
supporting..we recreated how it should European colonisation..there was no have killed, maimed, beaten and raped the
have.,reconciliation,..treaty ...acceptance resistance..assimilation was largely Koorie soul, .yet we don't see that when they
ofthelaw.,Hmmmhl
successful, propagated to benefit the reject us as friends that there is a reason..we
dominant..we oil suffer..our humanity Is don't listen.,be humble..Instead we feel
The ocean with its eternal flow and
guilty and allow the genocide to
questioned.
ebb...part of the cycle and rhythm of life,
continue..silence Is oppressloni What can
Many of us have come across Koorie art.
brought to us by the Creator, .the warm sun
we learn from Koories..and ourselves. If we
- the giver of life., the cool breeze; the music or llterature..How separated and
ask this question? Thie so coiled progressive
harbinger of change, the cycle of distant do you feel?...How many
whites - hoi vi/ho llp-syru; freedom but still lay
seasons...TImeiessness..part of the non-Koorles have an appreciation for their
the boots In. arguing for the domination of
spirit, .always was. always will be aboriginal cultures now and ttTen?...Who knows the
the Western ways, .their ways, .the Idea of the
iandi The balance has been broken...the name of the clan which once inhabited your
primitive..we have fallen..the war
spirit has revoked us...can we Heal the place? How do their social systems
continues.. .which side are you on? •
Wounds?...The Dreaming has been operate? What does dance and music
I
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16
LOTS: So tell us, how'd you get your name,
Agro?
AGRO: Well it's not hard, it's iust 'Agro'vation.
' L O r S : How were you conceived?
AGRO: Well, originally I was just a very cheap sort
of Mexican Tlhuanian Bathroom mat. I was stitched
together and the plastic hands I've got, came from a
kangaroo. Not a Skippy-type kangaroo, txit from a
njtiber one In the toyshop, and I just cut them off
and stitched them on the end of my arms.
LOTS: So you dent have any parents?
AGRO: I've got some parents who live in Rockhampton. My father was a piece of Axeminster.
LOTS: Wltat's your favourite cartoon?
^GRO; Well I dont have any favourites, I hate cartoons. I like the Thunderbirds. Miss Penelope is
such a spunk.
INTERVIEW
LOTS: wasnl Fat Cat your best friend?
AGRO: No, we just acted that way in children's
television. Now he's lost his show, it's just another
hour I can grab.
LOT'S: So, as a puppet, how do you spend your
hard-earned money?
AGRO: The fat man under the desk does lt....l just
lie around in a bag. And it's not really hard-eamed
anyway, people just throw it at you, when you get to
a certain level oi success.
L O r S : Are you at that level of success?
AGRO; Oh, I past that years agolll What happens is
that people expect you to be funny, when you say
things like (sullenly) "My brother's got a new car,'
and everyone goes Hahahahahahaha.
AGRO; Human movement. Yeah, that seems to be) aa
trendy one to do. What's the other one you seem to
do for years, and never really finish?
LOTS: You got a good reception on the Steve
Vizard show.
LOTS: Yeah, journalism, that's our gig.
AGRO: Oh yeah. Well I enjoyed doing that. The first
guest I asked on was Fat Cat, coz I knew he
that Cartoon Connection show?
couldn't sjseak, and my second guests were the
AGRO: For bucket-toads of money, you goosell
Leyland brothers...and that was just as interesting
LOTS: So do you like the Chiklrens' Television
as Fat Cat.
scene?
LOTS: Do you want to take over the show, fully?
AGRO: Yeah, but just looking at the chlldrens'
AGRO; Yeah, that's television you know. You get in
television presenters, there's Anne-Marie and Agro,
there, you're very nice to everyone, and then you
Simon Townsend and Woodrow, and let's face H,
they're always off the dish! And the committee gets turn around and axe them all.
together and works out whether Fat Cat shoukj stay L O r S : But before you take over Steve Vizard's
on teievisktn and stuff. Let's face it, he's got the per- spot, don't you have to be a corporate lawyer?
AGRO: No, no. You just gotta be a dummy.
sonality of a used Chux, he should have gone!
LOTS: So If you hate cartoons, why do you do
L O r S : You say you're 12 years old now, but
when you grow up, do you want to go to unl?
AGRO: I go into Grade 8 next year. Do you remember Grade B, when you're too old to be a kid, and
too young to be an adult, so you run around like a
goose. You take a Grade 8 to a party, and you're
standing there trying to k>oK really cool, and the next
minute you know, the kid wants to play Brandy!
LOTS: So If you went to university, what course
would you do?
L O r S : Arts?
AGRO: No, journalism.
'4
AGRO; And you know, (sarcastically etongated) communication.
LOTS: Agro, where do you get your hair cut?
AGRO; I dont. The carpet just wears out, and I have
to get it refurbished. I do that generally every
Christmas, and I use the cheapest nylon piece of
junk you can get.
L O r S : So Agro, how's your sex life?
AGRO: Ha. I wish I had a sex life. My idea of a really hot night out is to go and see 'The Sound of
Music', so I can see Julie Andrews' petticoat while
she's on the nwuntain.
•m
27th April, 1992.
17
I N T E R V I E
LOTS: What kind of future do you see for yourself?
0^
Qi
^
^y
** I can see myself
doing the game-show
circuit, and then my
stitching will come
undone, and I'll be
laid flat, and have
.to retire.'*
LOrS: What about Jennifer Keyte?
^ G f l O ; Ahhhh (orgasmically)...Jennifer. Oh yeSi-.
We go back a long way, really. I like her coz she's so
Intelligent. You can go out and get a free news update.
LOTS: What hints would you have for all of us
budding studs out here, who want to go for Jennifer Keyte?
AGRO: On. You need to be intelligent, you've gotta
have a square jaw, and when you drink Solo, it's
gotta spill all over your chin.
L O r S : Do you have to be an advertising whlzkld as well?
AGRO: No, no. You just gotta look like you're a Solo
man.
LOTS: So Agro, what do you do on your
weekends?
AGRO: I just lie around. Actually, I go out and exploit
children. I do a stack of kids' shows on the
weekends.
LOTS: You don't have a sex life, but you must
get a few good hand-jobs? (sic)
AGRO: Well, you wouki have thought that with all
the money which Christopher Skase made, he couM
have afforded another couple of inches of felt.
LOTS: Tell us about this new show you're doing
at our Robert Blackwood Hall on May 1st (quick
plug).
AGRO: Yes, I'm doing T h e very worst of Agro".
We're going back through the veiy worst things that
have happened in television.
LOTS: And no-one's allowed In unless they're
over 18?
-4G/?0.-Yeah, that's about right.
LOTS: So It no-one over 18 Is allowed In, how
do you get In?
AGRO:Ot\, that's easy. I just get a lake ID.
»?
LOTS: So wtiat kind of fake ID Is that, a driver's
Iteence?
AGRO: No, puppet ID. Come on.
LOTS: And what year does that say you were
bom In?
AGRO: It says I was bom in 1949.
LOTS: Well, that gets you In there.
AGRO: I just gotta hobble in, with a hump in me
back.
/ t s n O ; Weil I can see myself doing the game-show
circuit, and then my stitching will come undone, and
I'll be laid fiat, and have to retire.
LOTS: Will you be disappointed?
AGRO: No, I figure if the doll sells well, I'll invent like
Cabbage Patch kkJs. I'll Invent a family, like a sister,
a mother, a father...
LOT'S: What, market yourself, like "The
Simpsons" or something?
AGRO.yoaln, ail that sort of crash marketing. Just
make as much money as possible, in as short as
possible time.
LOTS: What about this guy Jamie Dunne we
sometimes hear about, how do you get along
wHh him?
AGRO: Well there is only so far the human skin can
stretch, and he's there. He's like Danny DeVito with
a weight problem, and serious head problems.
LOTS: Does he get pissed off, that you seem to
get all of the limelight?
AGRO: No. I think he's just quite happy to meet
people.
LOTS: So he doesnl care iitat RC^cne Sees him
on Steve Vizard?
AGRO: No, he only has two loves in life...deposit
slips and bankcard.
LOTS: Sounds like a capitalist bastard, is he
taking advantage of you?
^ G n O ; Absolutely. I was educating children before
he came along. Then he forced me to go on stage.
He forces me to do lots ol things.
LOTS: Do you hate the fact that he kind of has a
bit of a hold on you?
/»GflO: Yes, he has a hold on me, dont you worry,
but I've learnt to live with it.
LOTS: So tell us about your radio show?
AGRO: I'm part of the morning crew in Sydney, i go
AGRO: One of the most emban-assing moments I
ever had was when the wombat, that used to be o n " thnjugh the Reader's Digest, the comedy pages, for
Wombat", urinated, right next to me, and like any
the reeeaaally funny lines. I quip them out, and
puppet, someone had their arm up me back. The
everyone thinks they're my own. I get a lot of lines
wombat-wee went down this someone's arm, under from comedians, I write them down, put them out
his arm, and across his chest.
there, and everyone thinks it's me and that the come
dians stole them from me.
LOTS: What's your greatest moment on
television?
LOTS: So, in the future are you thinking of startLOTS: Agro, what was your most embarrassing
moment on television?
AGRO: My greatest moment was the very first Steve
Vizard show. It was a good show, it was when Fat
Cat first came onto adult television, and I also had
on the Leyiand brothers. It just kicked on my career.
LOTS: So Fat Cat was pretty talkative that night?
/4G/?0.-Yeah, yeah..i think there's something wrong
with him, I saw him do a 360 with his head In the
dressing room that night.
LOTS: How did Fat Cat die?
AGRO: He just got on the wrong side of the CPC.
ing up a family?
AGRO: Of course i am. Then you can have stickons, oilers, pencils, books and those things you put
on cars.
LOTS: What about a female Agro? What wouM
she be called?
AGRO: Elli.
LOTS: What?
AGRO: Elli-vation. She'd be a real spunk.
LOTS: What was it like to get pizza on your heSiti
LOTS: Do you fear that you're on the way out as
well?
at the Logles, from Daryl Somers?
AGRO:CX\, I coukj be. You know what it's like in
television, they say, "l-lere's the dole."
very close to his private pans.
LOTS: So you have a bit of passion for football,
as In Queensland football?
In those sorts of situations?
AGRO: Yes, the greatest player ever to strap on a
LOTS: He Just wipes the urine off his arms.
boot..Waily Lewis.
AGRO: Yeah, he thinks, that'll be good on television.
AGRO: Oh, he had to do it very quickly, coz I was
LOTS: Does Jamie Dunne ever stick up for you
AGRO: Never. Never. He's scum.
LOTS: What about Aussie rules?
That'll be a laugh, we can make another dollar out of
AGRO: No. we don1 play that in Brist>ane, we've got
that. What a capitalist.
the Bears.
LOT'S: It says here, that your favourite movies
were Rocky 1-50. How was the 47th episode?
AGRO: n was two geriatrk;s coming out, and hitting
each other with wet tram tickets, it didn't have much
of a plot. We knew who was gonna get beaten to
death.
LOTS: What do you think of the Brisbane Bears?
AGRO: Well put it this way, remember the kid in the
Family Court? The judge asks him, does he wanna
live with his father, and he says (crying) nah-nahhehitsme-nah-blah-blah-blah. So the judge says,
does he wanna live with his mother, and he says
(crying again) nah-nah-nah-blah-shehitsme-blahblah.So the judge says, who do you wanna live with,
and he says, the Brisbane Bears, they donl beat
anyone.
LOTS: Do you think you get extra sympathy and
extra laughs, because you are a puppet?
AGRO: Absolutely. Same as Paul Keating does.
LOTS: (laughs) That's all we got.a
J
18
G E N E R A L
I N T E R E S T
§WliH§0H2 " ^^^*" P"^^ shipidityTTT
by Anne Lynn
S
wandor a Holstein (German
Warm Blood) stallion was
sold to David Williams, who
runs the Alcharinga Dancing
Stallions, because he was an
outlaw — a rebel that nobody
could handle. After several years
of patient loving training David
Williams' efforts were rewarded
when Swandor stole the show
at the 1975 Adelaide Expo—a
magnificent achievement.
In view of the horse's outstanding
qualities in the showringit was decided to
breed from the rebel horse and in
November 1980 Swandor II was foaled out
of a Clevetand Bay Thcraugbbred mare.
When the time came for Swandor II to
be shown controversy slnick through the
realms of the show ring hierarchy (the
Australian WarmBlood Society) rulingthat
Swandor II could not be shown as a tnie
Warm Bkxxl as the Cleveland Bay mare
stock was a condemned breed as far as the
Society was concerned.
Notwithstanding
the
opposition
Swandor II was eventually shown and has
won every Open Class event into which he
has been entered except ONCE and it is
firmly believed that the reason he did not
win on that particular occasion was
because of his bad breeding — it was
inferior, to all intents and purposes it would
seem that as opposed to an ii^erior breed it
was more than probable that the hor« was
of a superior breed due to his outstanding
qualities.
So superior to other horses of this
calibre, Swandor II was one of the two
horses selected to parade for Princess Ann,
which would be fitting in view of the
words of World Dressage Champion,
Rosemary Springer from Germany
". . . being one of the best in the world."
Even after all Swandor II's
magnificent performances in the Show
Ring over the last 3 to 4 years he has
been refused entry into Warm Blood
Competitions and the Geelong Equestrian
Centre several limes because he was not
up to their standards.
to say David WiUiams took the horse away
immediately.
David WiUiams was then approached
by the Olympic Games Committee for
Swandor II to be taken to the Seoul
Olympics on the condition that he would be
sold after the Gamestocover the cost of his
keep etc.. Not bad considering that a
private offer from Korea to buy the horse
at Sim. was refused and a further offer
from Gawler South Australia, not for
dressage or show jumping, but just for
breeding purposes for the same amount
was alsorefused.With this kind of money,
plus monies received from other Olympic
Games selections, the Committee could
have sponsored the next two Olympics
with not one athlete havingtopay their own
expenses, but of course we all know this
does not happen so it ponders a question—
where does the money go U horses of this
calibre are worth so much? Any horse
taken privately to the Olympic Games and
expenses paid by the owner or sponsor is
aUowedtoreturntoAustralia.
Progeny from Swandor II are mainly
bred bom thoroughbred mares and free
range in the Snowy Mountains until they
are two years old (which enables them to
build up their muscles and stamina), they
are then brought in and handled before
being sold, unbroken, at a starting price of
$3,000.
Having witnessed the gasp from the
• Swandor II jumps 8'—setting a world record
crowd at Swandor II's beauty upon
entering the arena and seeing him perform
Because of Swandor II's outstanding
As a by-line Swandor II's half brothers
dressage and jumping over 6' on voice
and sisters have won Grand Prix show ability he was given to Marcus Hozy to command it can weU be believed that 8
jumping. Royal Melbourne Shows, Sth train for the Seoul Olympic Games with loving years training have blessed this
Gawler St A Event, S.A. and three day specific instructionsfromhis owner David animal widi outstanding qualities that
events in Hoban. Victoria and S. A. His fust WiUiams that the horse should not be should not go unnoticed but it seems once
progeny have achieved Grand Champion- allowed to jump for a six months' period again that when Australia obtains
ships in Led Classes and his filly won the to enable concentration on dressagetobuild something that is really good instead of
up a foundatioa which would enable
1980 Adelaide Expo..
Swandor n to be afforded every opportunity helping to achieve world-wide status the
The saga continues to peifonn exceedingly weD in the show political implements come into effect —
Swandor II has set a world record jumping ring. Just two days after the horse either seU it, it's an asset, or discard it we're
jumping 8' over a utility laden with hay arrived at the stables he was being tested to not interested.
whilst running free on a race track on voice see just how high he could jump. Needless
What price stupidity!!!
command only.'
S.W.A.B.
SHIATSU MASSAGE SERVICE IS
BACK!
Due topopular demand, this hugely
subsidised service is back to help relieve
the stress on Uni. life.
The service is available every
WEDNESDAY from 11am to 4pm
Under saddle Swandor II was placed in
the 1988 Riders' Class at the Royal
Melbourne Show.
Although Swandor II has never actually
competed in the Show Jumping arena he
has taken pan in many exhibitions — one
particular feat being over a 4'3" fence
jumping back and forth with no falter in a
one step suide.
MONASH UNIVERSITY GAY
COLLECTIVE
Hey all you Gay.'Bi guys and girls and friends of Gays! Monash Gay
Collective functions as a social group offering support, friendship
arid heaps of great social functions. We meet for iuiich every
Tuesday at 1pm in the Gay Room (Rm B25 of the Northern
Extension Basement - see p, 126 of your diary) but you can drop in at
ant time,
For further information call the S T U D E N T G A Y LINE on 565-4195
or put a note in our letter box behind the Union Desk.
Booking can only be made from the
table set up at ARTS & CRAFTS during
the following times:
Monday 1-2 pm
Tuesday 11-12 pm
Wednesday 12-2 pm
The cost is $5 for students and $10 for staff
*Due to the huge demand, these price increases by
$5 after your second visit, and only one session
can be booked in advance.
INFORMATION- ADVICE- COUNSELLING-
RRFFRHALS
ower, Love, Lies, Lust and Revenge are
all intrinsically woven into the plot of
Euripides' " The Medea "; the play that
successfully intimidated an entire generation of
Greeks into monogamy and won no awards for
it. Even today the themes of "The Medea" are
as hard- hitting and controversial as they were
in the 5th Century B.C.. For this is the story of
one woman's triumph over a sexist,
pseudo-democratic society and the
constrictions of the female role in marriage and
motherhood.
Medea is a universally appealing tragedy
that will horrify, yet inspire awe in any audience
member. Monash Players are reviving this
text, performed largely in a quasi-classical
form, from April 30th to May 9th, in the Guy
Manton Rooms.
DETAILS:
Guy Manton Rooms
April 30th to May 9th
Evenings - 8pm Matinees - 1pm
General Concession $7
Tickets Enquiries 565 3108.
"The Medea" is an epilogue to the famous
' legend of Jason and the Argonauts {in which
Medea manipulates and murders in order to
aid her lover, Jason, in stealing the Golden
Fleece.)
The play is set in Corinth, many years after
the voyage of the Argo, when the aging Jason
leaves his wife for the royal bed of the
Princess. Upon learning that she has been
betrayed, Medea devises a plan that will
create the most excruciating emotional pain
for the fickle Jason. Medea's plan is one that
leads to regicide and the ultimate and most
heinous human act; the killing of her children.
If you love theatre that is full of lies, lust,
betrayal, revenge and moral dilemmas then
"The Medea" is the play for you. So, lock up
your children and prepare yourself for a night
3f spine chilling, blood curdling drama.
20
REVIEWS
On The B I G Screen...
Location: Longtord Cinema;
Reviewer: Igor Prahin.
^Ifi^Europa,
Europa is a true story, based
^ ^ ^ l o n the autobiography of Solomon
H
Perel. The Holocaust has been
responsible for many amazing stories of survival,
but I have not encountered one that is more bizarre
or incredible, as portrayed in this film by Polishbom director Agnieszka Holland.
Much of Perel's story is so wildly improbable
- absurd twists of fate and amazing coincidences diat the viewer can be excused for having some
doubts as to its truth. Tlie saga is certainly a case
where truth is stranger than fiction.
EUROPK
EUROPIV
A IVue Story
Sent Eastwards by his parents due to the
outbreak of war and its grotesque anti-semitism,
Perel is captured by Russian soldiers and placed in
an orphanage. There he is forced to renounce his
religious and bourgeois backgrotmd, to become the
archetypal Russian-speaking, Young Pioneer. But
when the orphanage is bombed as result of the
collapse of the Hitler-Stalin pact, he buries his
identity pliers and claims io be a true German. He
accidently becomes a hero of the German arm y and
is subsequently adopted as interpreter and mascoL
After a further series of fateful encounters, he is
adopted by his virulently anti-semitic
Commanding Officer and sent to an elite HitloYouth School. Solly's gravest concern (and a
central object of black humour) in his quest for
survival, revolves around his circumcised penis the irreversible sign of Solly's identity as a Jew.
STEETSRQ VERHS
Throughout the film, Holland relieves the
tension and horror with deft touches of ironic
humour. Given the context, the humour is
shocking, but it does not offend - Perel's seduction
and subsequent loss of innocence at the hands of a
middle-aged, German military woman and Hider
fanatic, unable to disguise her delight at
discovering that his birth date is identical to the
Fuhrer's, is one such moment
A scene early in the film, when Nazi thugs force
Perel to flee naked from his home and seek refuge
in a barrel, sets an overtly ironic tone, which
prevails for the duration of the story. He returns
home in a black leather coat, with a swastika
armband to fmd his sister dead, laid out in the
dining room, her blood dripping onto the very table
at which he was circumcised.
As the story unfolds, it is clear that Solly is not
an active hero; he acts at limes, but in reality he is
reacting to a sihiation, because he has no choice the larger bamework of history manipulates him.
His decisions are based on a very primitive instinct
- the will to live,
For all its complexity, Europa, Europa is
overall an engrossing and moving re<realion,
greatly enhanced by the fantastic central
performance of Marco Hofschneider. The
direcux', Holland, must also receive much of the
credit as she thankfully keeps the stoiy moving at
a brisk pace, whilst avoiding the sentimentality of
many Holocaust movies, by concentrating on the
experiences of individuals.*
My Own
iPrivafe Mahol
Ctiris Mariiel
iver Phoenix is all grown up now, he's outl
on the streets selling his body with co-I
hustler, Keanu Reeves, in Gus Van Sant'sl
I ("Drugstore Cowboy") new film, "My Own I
I Private Idaho". River's character, Mike, suffers!
I from narcolepsy; the habit of falling asleep when I
I under stress. Reeves plays the well-bred runaway, I
I Scott, and together they search in true Oedipal I
I fashion for their origins on the crossroads o f |
I country Idaho, to Italy, and back again.
R
Meeting Venus
Kino Cinema
Victoria Philpott
^ k "Meeting Venus" could definitely be
^ ^ classed as a "lake your mother along"
^ T typeoffilmlSetinParisFmace,thestocy
line exudes a romantic quality that seems to instill
a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere.
Zoltan Szanto, (Niels Arestrup), a
comparatively unknown Hungarian conductor, is
given the opportunity to conduct Wagner's
masterpiece, "Tknnhauser". The cast of the c^ra
being an explosive mix of nationalities from
Europe and America, led by the Swedish supa dive
Karin Anderson, (Glenn Qose). Despite feelings
that a younger actress should have played opposite
Szanto, Glenn Close was radiant in the role Karin,
and completely believable.
As the story unfolds, Szanto quickly finds
hraisclf embedded in the racial conflict between
members of the cast, and realises he has a battle
ahead if the opera is to be a success. Of ;ourse love,
as usual, turns up expectedly to "add spice to the
pot", so if you're anything like me and enjoy a
good cry, then bring a nice clean hanky.
The Wriler/Director,Istvan Szabo, has allowed
us an enjoyable insight into the tremendous
amount of effort that goes into an opera. However,
the focus on the individuals in the film also altows
us to understand a little of the racial and political
burdens that sometimes hinder the most simple of
tasks. The often comical arguments and whimsical
romances lend a lightheaitedness to the deep set
problems such as strikes, unions, and
environmental action groups.
Perhaps a somewhat rosy view of Ufe, and a
"we can overcome" attitude, may well up in you
as you leave the theatre, but don't be alarmed.
Amidst the steady stream of cold reality, a little
magic is often needed to balance the scales a little.
So go, relax, take out your hanky, but don't forget
your mother!
In the midst of this journey of self discovery, I
I Bob,aFagin-likecharacler,joinsthegtDupof male I
I prostitutes, to which Mike and Scott also belong. I
• Bob comes across like a Shakespearean king, f
I while according to Gus, Scott suddenly dansforms I
I into^lPrince Hal" torn "Henry IV". While all the I
fboys prance around in need of a stage, the film I
dually slips awayfiromus. Bob's absence later [
the film is no real reprieve. The entire film
Idenies accessibility; from the surreal shots of the
lldaho landscape, to the bizarre clients the boys
lencounter, we never acuially get close enough to j
lihe genuine emotions of Mike and Scott
The fragmentary film style employed by Van '
|Santisfarmoreeffectiveinhiseariierfilm,"Mala I
iNoche", which was recratly screened at the 'Gay
land Lesbian Film Festival'. There is no
I Shakespeare, merely a close alignment between
I the dislocated imagery and the anguish of the main
I character. Perhaps River (mum had too many
I mushrooms) and Keanu are not the actors for these
I demanding roles. Rivets is almost as appealing as I
I Mike, and Keanu, well, inaybe someone should I
I give him back his surfboard and point him in the
Irightdirection! •
1
27th April, 1992.
21
R E V I E W S
STAGE
Physical Business
Jill Graham
hysical Business "begins as an exploration
of the boundless energy, infinite variety
and the sensual pleasure that exists in the
physical," says Helen Heitertson, choreograplier.
While viewing "Physical Business" I was
struck by the freedom of the dancers and yet also
a great discipline and constraint at times. This was
a work in two parts - combining dance with aerial
performance. The dancers scaled the walls and
swung from the ceiling circus style. The illusion of
journeying was conveyed by the ongoing
movement of pendulums and the swaying of a
bowl shaped boat
P
The work is an exploration of the struggle of
earthbound physical energy and the constant
longing to transcend iL An angel suspended fixxn
the ceiling is the physical manifestation of this
desire, and with the Leunig characterisation of this
angel/dancer we are reminded of Leunig's
influence; to quote Leunig:
We starch and search and yet find no meaning.
The search for a meaning leads to despmr.
And when we are broken the heartfindsits moment
Toflyand to feel and work as it will
Through the darkness and mystery and wild contradiction.
For this itsfreedom, its strength and its knowing.
Congratulations, to Simon Barley the set
designer, and to the skillful dancers Toby Bell,
Michael Collins, Brett Fleeter, Dianne Reid and
RosWarby
UM4U^^
Gateway TheatreI Producttons
National Theatre
Megan Wood & Nicholas Peelers
The Gateway Theatre
Produdnn of "Educating
Rita' proved to tw a gala
event. After txjinping into Pete
Smith, of Copperart and Hidden
Hearing fanie, we learnt that Victoria
Nicolls, former dippy hostess of
"Sale of the Century", and Ross
Thompson, the insipid Bobby of
"Carson's Law", were to play the tvwj
roles of Rita and Frank. In addition,
direction was by Peter Adams, star
of "Cop Shop".
O
Tfie play is the story of Rita, a 26
year okl hairdresser, trying to elude
her working class backgound by
seeking fulfilment through education. Aspiring for a higher culture,
she enrols in the Open University
where she meets with her tutor,
Frank, a failed poet and alcoholic.
While teaching her literary criticism,
he finds he must destroy the very
vibrancy and spontaneity that most
attract him, and ultimately he feels
that like Frankenstein, he has
created a monster. Rita too, must
eventually confess that she has not
%/
discovered a better culture but merely a different one, consisting primarily of literacy and social pretence.
In the first act, Thompson
dynamically portrayed Frank's increasing zeal for teaching, and in
the second his mounting insecurity
resulting from Rita's tjungeoning independence. Victoria Nicolls' Rita,
though generally adequate, was at
times amateurish, and failed to embody Rita's most endearing qualities
- her brash confklence and naive
charm. In the second act, with Rita's
transformation, her ctiaracterisation
tiecame nnore apt.
Set entirely in one room. Educating Rita is a play better suited to the
confines of a studio, rather than the
large stage of the National Theatre,
where the set lacked the clutter and
charm evoked by Willy Russel's
script.
Consequently, Rita was incapable of filling the room in the
manner suggested by the script.
Though the production was
flawed, its difficulties were eclipsed
by Thompson's thoroughly enjoyable Frank, and Willy Russel's exceptional script. •
The Melbourne Uni Comedy Revue
I
n these depressing days of nonemptoyment, under-funding, overcrowding, David Pennington,
revolutnns and counter revolutnns,
economic and statistical rationalism,
and shows like "Studs", Melbourne
University students are surviving in
the best way possible - by taking a
piss at it all.
Despite a few technical hiccups
in some scenes (where was the
microphone on switch?) and a relatively small audience consisting
mainly of friends, relatives and
reviewers on free twkets (who forgot
to put up the advertising posters?)
the opening nigtit of "Who will you
feel in the morning?" could only be
described as a highly enjoyable experience.
The Melbourne University Comedy Revue took a very witty - and
penetrating - took at the crazy worid
we all live in. The underiying theme •
Margaret Salran
the replacement of DavW Pennington by Spacko the clown as
Vk;e-Chancelk>r of Melboume
University - was very clevetty and
humorously handled. Anyone who
has ever heard David Pennington
speak (naturally not to a student)
coukj not help txit admire his
portrayal in this revue.
The sad thing about this revue is
that it won't be appreciated by as
many people as possible due to its
lack of maiketing. Also the cost of
the tk^ets at $8.00 a student,
$13.00 an adult, may have put
others off. But it was a very clever
and well perfomned show and I'm
sure we'll be seeing most of its partk;ipants in the mainstream comedy
scene in not so many years from
now. ^
4
Extraordinary Encounters of a Mundane Kind
^ ^ ^ "Extraordinary Encounters
^ ^ ^ o f a Mundane Kind", a con^ ^ ^ tributton to The Age Comedy Festival...extraordinary indeed!
Denise Scott a.k.a. Scotty stand up
comedian, playwright and actor- is
now performing at La Mama. A
government subsidized playhouse,
La Mama, comer Faraday and
Lygon Streets, is a quaint Mediterraueau-style establishment, set
back from the street. The performance area is rather intimate in its
setting and seats up to 25 people.
Prior to the show,teed-coffeewas
served and, as traditton has it at La
Mama, a raffle was drawn.
For the incredible one hour,
Denise captivated her audience with
her self-spun scenario of the marriage break-up of Rowan and Vir-
Dana Alon S May Goh
ginia. She was able to demonstrate
her versatility as an actor in her
portrayal of at least a dozen characters.
THIS IS FUCKEDI" repeats
Stewart. "I can see it, there's a film
in this," suggests Brad, as things
start to go desperately sour. The
situation wastookinggood for our
man Rowan; he had his lover, his
wife was leaving the country, the
kids were his, until... Knock! Knockl
Who's that at the door? An outrageous confrontatton follows as
lover meets jilted wife, with the kkte
stuck in the middle.
This extraordinary encounter is
packed with writer insight, sensitivity
and a whole heap of laughs, guaranteed to bowl you over. •
Denis0 Scott performing
REVIEWS
^^^^^^^^^^^B
As one would expect from this most
down-to-earth of bands, ego-trip visual
extravaganza a la Michael Jackson are not to be
expected. The songs, from "The Razor's Edge"
and "Blow Up Your Video" are replayed faithfully
with the band acting the part live in
"ThundCTsmick", filmed at Brixton Academy in
South London. Shot in front of one thousand fans,
director, David Mallet, worked his way through
five miles of film, with most of it directed on
vocalist, Brian Johnston, drummer, Chris Slade,
and, of course, Angus, with true wasp-in-ihe-hair
relish. This 35 year old schoolboy headbangs and
duckwalks crazily, somehow simultaneously
playing his lead guitar. A highlight is an excellent
scene of Angus fdmed from beneath die stage.
S
ometime between 1977, when AC/DC
moved their base to London, and 1983,
when drummer Phil Rudd "retired" (following the departure ofbassistMaikEvans in 1977
and the death of the vocalist Bon Scou in 1980) the
band lost its "Aussie" status; all three were
replaced by Englishmen. Despite this cutting of
sentimental ties with their adopted country, Scottish-bom guitarists, Angus and Malcolm Young,
continued churning out the same old riff-chorus Angus solo formula which had starved them reliably since 1974. After 1985's unimpressive "Fly On
The Wall" album, it appeared the formula had
reached its end. "AC/DC Clipped", however, with
the videos of the five excellent singles from their
past two albums, provides a glimpse of the band's
regained energy and humour which propelled them
to spectacular success in AustraUa and overseas in
the 1970's.
The other videos follow this generally low telly
appnjach: "Moneylraits" (showing them in concert
in America, the album track dubbed over) features
lots of AC/DC currency floating around, "Are You
Ready" is set in some sort of jail where the inmates
get the band mark shaven into their heads, and
"Heartseeker" has some sort of cartoon missile
whizzing around, about as arty as this band will
ever geL On the whole, a new little package for all
fans of "Acca-Dacca", and a prelude to the live
album scheduled for release this year or next •
KM CWe - nifM^h Q^
week has been unlike any other; she wasfiredfrom
her job, evicted from her flat, sawn in half for the
very first time, found out that the bloke she had
been dating was a jerk and a weasel-dick, and to
top it all off, she was pre-menstrual and had hardly
slept from worrying about everything. She meets
Jock Jovanovich, a psychiatrist of Sabo-Scottish
heritage, who has a passion fo lurid Hawaiian
shirts. Following is a desperate plea for help from
Darwin and the big question of whether to axxept
a cheque for $10,000 on a first date, and what a
modem girly was to do with all of it Selina scuds
into Darwin and is thrown headlong into positive
chaos, mystery, mayhem, humidity, turmoil,
TH«
<fe<>«»IL<
Ky^.Z
-WtO-OK-C
attempted murder and...more dreadful still, the
Zoning Minister (a.k.a. The Minister Sleaze). She
is kidnapped and held hostage on board a yacht;
using this time, she plots her unfmished Mills and
Boons novel "Monuims of Desire", and, on the
way, hypnotizes the Minister of Sleaze.
by May Golf
rom Melbourne's modem girl, Kaz Co<Ae,
writer, cartoonist, anthologist, arbiter of
modem etiquette and author of, among
other things, "Keep Yourself Nice"3nd,''The
Modem Girl's Guide To Everything", comes "The
Crocodile Club", her first novel.
F
The plot becomes positively bedlam, as a
modem girl, Selina, is faced with a lowbrow
journalist, dunderhead thugs, her sleazed ex, a
missing schizoid and ...a marriage proposal. ^
For the multi-talented SeUna Parkinson aJca.
Boopsie-magician's assistant extroadinaire - the
1992 ST KILDA FILM FESTIVAL
APRIL 29 - MAY 3
^ g ^ O N OF CONTEMPORARY AUSTRALIAN SHORT
NATIONAL THEATRE
BARKLY STREET, ST KILDA
Tickoi: Singk K a i o n $7 ((S concoiion)
PuU FcBiy.1 J40 (S30 eoiic<ajk)ii)
Mini P t t i $18 ($12 conceuion)
Opening Night $13 ($10 conceuion)
H
ere's a piece of shameless advertising: If
you hadn't already noticed, Monash
University's own student radio is up and
running once again this year. As well as the usual
diverse and much improved musical offerings this
year on 3MU, you can hear, from 1 lam until 12
noon on Fridays, a terrific new program called
Obscure. The three unbelievable DJs, Una, Sarah
and Alan, will be playing the best music on radio
anywhere! Listen in.
After writing in last week's article about the
purchase of second-hand discs frt>m record fairs,
and seeing a DJ at a nameless pub/club handling
his records without a care in the worid for their
safety, it occurred lo me that there was a need to
better educate people on the proper handling of
their music collections. Why should I bother? Only
fffl- purely selfish reasons I assure you. I'm sick of
borrowir" records and CDs fiom people to listen
to (read nake my own ccqiies') and finding Uiem
covere^. Ji scratches, fingerprints, coffee stains,
dust etc., which all but make good listening (read:
'recording') impossible.
Your prized vinyl requires much love and care
to retain its play-back quality. Never place these
discs on a hard surface. Don't stack records on top
of each other on the tum-table either, they are very
easy to scratch and a single tiny mark will most
certainly be audible and could very easily min the
disc. All records should be cleaned while rotating
on the turn-table prior to each playing. This can be
done with any of the available record brushes,
although I find the carbon fibre bristled variety lo
be the besL This removes dust which, if present,
will be ground into the vinyl by the needle, making
a permanent glitch in die groove.
Oily fmgerprints and split drinks attract dust
and stick to the needle on your record player,
affecting the quality of play-back, as well as
spreading grime to each disc you play. If this sort
of tiling fmds its way onto a vinyl disc, clean the
disc gentiy witfi warm water and if necessary soap
on a soft cloth or cotton wool. Rub die record in a
circular motion parallel to tiie grooves to remove
die mark, Uien wipe away die soap widi a damp
cloUi and leave to dry. Do NOT use a hair drier,
you'll waip the record.
Always handle you discs by die edges or the
label in the centre. Discs should be stored in their
sleeves resting vertically, preferably away from the
floor and other dusty areas. Keep you discs out of
the sun (don't leave them in the care on a hot day
eidier) as they will warp, adding an unintended
new dimension to the soimds recorded.
Just a warning, DON'T clean your CDs the
same way as your records, wipe the discs gentiy
fiom centre to circumference, ie. radially, if not,
you risk making them unplayable. Treat CDs witii
the same respect as your records but keep CD
cleaning to a minimum - if it still plays okay, don't
clean it
Enquirici: 336 1397 or Theatre 534 0221
Sciiion timci: April 29 - 6pm ft gpni Openinp Nifhl
April 30 - 7pm & 9pm
Miy I - 7pm A 9pm
Mi> 2 - 2pm,4pm.6pm &. 9pm
May 3 - 4, 6 & 8 30 Dm Awardi Presenrjition Nipht
T
,. ^^r ouit
^uHMitK ftlm Cmmnunni.-
Rim Viaona
1
^.
Happy Listening *
27th April 1992.
23
\ F E A T U R E
filter on the lights in here to get
sufficient light..Open this window too,
for a little extra light. Ah, that's better.
Remember, take it easy, you have
atx>ut fifteen minutes that you can
spend at this tiospital...that means
about another eight minutes."
Walter J. Burgess
/ ^ ^ ^ ' T h a t was bloody close, too
U 0 close for comfort," Wally
^ B said as he stood in the
middle of the Rue Monivong, filming
the horror occurring around him. An
artillery shell had just exploded 20
feet to his left.
...the
dead
€' infant still
clutched
in her
arms.''
Ten minutes earlier he was
asleep. His aftemoon siesta had
been shattered by the Khmer Rouge
- the Cambodian insurgents - shelling
the Cambodian Capital, Phnom
Penh, with 105mm Howitzer artillery
fire.
It's 1:30pm and the shell fire
seems to be heading westwards
towards the CHENLA marl<et area,
having started near the Royal Palace
or possibly closer to the American
Embassy close to the Mekong river.
"Shit, look at the mini-bus, there
must be half a dozen people in and
around the rennains of the thing. All
dead. Some are still burning as part
of the mini-txjs is", he continued
talking to himself as he started to film
the woman's burning body and the
dead infant still clutched in her arms.
Still talking to himself, and with
the cassette recorder running to
record the sounds of the incoming
rounds impacting, and the screams of
the city's populace, Wally started
looking for more shots for recording
on news film.
A wailing woman attracted his
attention and led him to kicating four
dead soldiers behind a fence. The
woman was bemoaning the death of
her husband and three sons. Wally
immediately filmed the woman and
panned down to the crumpled bodies,
"I had better get closer to the
impact area and to where the bloody
fire is", Wally said aloud as he ran
towards his car - pmdently parked
outside the range of the landing
shells.
Five minutes of speeding the car
through side streets brought the 28
year old Australian News cameraman
to the CHELNA market and Cinema
area. All around people were running,
crying, carrying clothes and other
^'il->f''"Ma>^
belongings or standing in awed
dismay.
Behind the mart<et was an
awesome sight. The most
devastating fire ever recorded in a
city or village in the whole of
Cambodia was happening. A shanfy
town of 2,500 or more homes, most
built since the start of the war in
Cambodia, was being razed. A thick,
black billow of smoke rose a
thousand feet, 1,500 feet into the air.
The heat could be felt half a kilometre
away.
The situatton was assessed with
the quick news sense of many years
experience. The car parked safely
and k>cked and with two spare rolls of
film In his pockets, Wally headed into
the confused scene.
A wkje angle - general view of the
scene, tfie biltowing tower of smoke,
the confused people, the dazed, the
fleeing numbers with and without
belongings. Those carrying wounded
loved ones, the wounded and dying
being manhandled into ambulances
and onto army and military police
trucks, into mini-vans and cycles.
Anything and everything available
was tMing used to convey the
wounded to hospital.
Wally coolly and calmly filmed and
recorded forever the scenes around
him. Changing film to the second roll,
then to the third one hundred feet.
in)EaX]XE in)REVINQ ScSKXX.
Fast, successful results with the "A" TEAM OF EXPERTS
For total beginners only — YOl) get to choose
S I F S S O N S $ 1 1 * ' '^<'- (^ery second lesson}
or
6 FIRST HALF PRICE LESSONS
There are NO disappointments, with our patient experienced,
Male and Female instructors
also
•
Specialising overseas change-over
manual or automatic
Phone:
5699647 anytime
More dead and wounded. Film other
newsmen recording the dramatic
events of the day "Keep calm, don't
rush; film and record what is
necessary without making technical
errors. BUT..keep an eye on the
time...you must ship this film today.
That means catching that 4.00pm
AIR FRANCE flight with your film as
air freight. That means you have until
3:00pm and no later to obtain
everything you need on the film",
Wally was constantly telling himself.
•X^an I get around to those
flames?..yes, about three long
sequence shots should be sufficient."
"I wonder what the final tally of
dead and wounded will be? Both
figures will be in the hundreds for
sure. I had better take some shots in
one of the hospitals., which wouM be
better..the one just up from Wat
Phnom should be the best because
of the waiting area and balcony
having plenty of light."
Making his way quickly back to
the car, Wally checked the time "two
forty five, I had better stop off at the
freight office first, and tell the clerk to
prepare the Air Waybill and tell him
that I will return in about another half
hour That shoukJ give me time to film
at the hospital, return, then take the
film to the airport for placing as
freight on the flight to Hongkong."
Less than a minute stop-over at
the AIR Cambodge freight office
accomplished the first part of his
shipping.
Straight up Monivong to the Lyces
Descartes, turn left and down to the
Wat Phnom, around the rciundabout
and head north to the hospital.
"Christ, look at that confused,
crowded, jumbled mess of humanity.
Stretchers in the corridors and
outside in the shade - what little
shade there is. Shit, there are even
wounded lying in the square with only
blankets between the ground and
them", Wally stammered.
Sign outskJe the hospital, general
scene in the courtyard, shots in the
corridors, trucks arriving with more
wounded, other wounded arriving by
other methods. "Now into the
casualty area and film the doctors
and nurses wor1<ing on the
wounded...I will need the diacrobic
Ten minutes later, Wally left the
hosp'ital. In the short time in the
casualty section he had filmed, with
much lighting difficulty, doctors and
nurses renroving shrapnel splinters,
sewing wounds, wounded being
carried in and out. The bloodstained
foyer littered with bloodied clothing,
blood stained field dressings,
bandages in various stages of blood
and dust encmstations plus the usual
paraphernalia that litters the ftoors of
hospitals under emergency and
military conditions...all was on film.
With another quick drive back to
the freight office, a quick signing of
the document, Wally continued
towards the airport with little regard
forthe speed limits.
The time...3:50 pm and Air
France, for a change, was on time
and the freight had been already
loaded. Friendship with the freight
officer got the film bag onto the plane.
Relaxing for the first time in three
hours, Wally walked to the car parlt,
entered the car - a Volkswagen
Beetle - and drove back into town
towards the offices of Unrted Press
International (UPI).
When the shipping message was
sent, Wally returned to the offk:e.
Clean the film gate and a new roll of
film into the camera. Fresh cassette
into the recorder and restock the bag
with more film and tapes ready for
the next story.
Everything must be ready. One
never knows when a story may
break. Quietly Wally and a few of the
staff of UPI, those not actively
involved in chasing after details or
mnning further parts of the story over
to the post office for censorship and
transmission to Hong Kong, walked
over the road to a small Chinese
eating house and partook of several
LONG..COLD BEERS.
I know that many people will say
, that this tale could never have
happened. Such hon'or does not
happen. That Wally could never have
revelled in the horrors described.
I say that you are wrong. I was
there and saw the horrors occur that
day. I was with Wally when he was
filming and shipping the story. Wally
was happy to have shot a story and
been the only person from eight
different companies to have shipped.
BUT he also had been in conflict all
afternoon. Wally was a person of
strong enrwtions. His conflict was
whether to help the injured, as any
compassionate person would, or, to
record the events for his company
and to raise the conscience of the
world.
He just did his job. I know. I am
Wally and this is my story of that
fateful aftemoon. •
24
LITERATURE
The M e a n i n g of Life
Natalie Hechtman
A
s students we ponder the meaning of life. Surely life
is not merely studying for the purpose of obtaining a
degree in a particular field. It is so much more. Life
is the appreciation of literature, art and science but mostly life
is about snidying the art of thinking.
As students, we often appear to be robots, ptogrammed to
do things for the sole purpose of pleasing others. It is what is
expected of us, what our parents and grandparents assume we
will do. We are supposed to feel lucky that we have been given
the oppotunity to "broaden our horizons". But we are not!
Rather, we are being conditioned and therefore our ability
to appreciate what is really of importance is, lessened. We
become so narrow-minded that we not only convince
ourselves, but end up believing, that w e are truly satisfied and
content with our lives, when in reality this is far £ram the tmth.
If life is about studying the art of thinking, then one of the
ways in which we learn to analyze and appreciate it is through
literature. Reading and analysing forces us to think, which is
undoubtedly more important than learning to regurgitate
infonnation. Is it really an achievement to learn how to be a
parrot? I don't think so. I think it is sad that some people's
lives work out this way. I want to fmd fulfilment, contentment
and live life without regretting my mere acceptance of the
world around me. Studying art, recognising the magic, the
antiquity of truly awe-inspiring masterpieces, is part of
learning. This realisation and the emotions I experience are
fulfilling. How an artist obtains his ideas, how cleverly these
are executed, are what stimulates the mind. Art is not repeating
information. Art is analysing material, thinking and therefore
learning, not merely studying to acquire high grades.
Why don't more people consider how they exist? Why
don't they ask questions of depth and breadth? Is there a G-d?
Is there life after death? Are there other beings in different
reatois of the universe? Am I crazy, out of the noim, when I
ask such questions? Am I regarded as self-indulgent when I
occupy my time delving into such imponderables?
D o others quest for answers to the meaning of life? I see
little evidence of this arxiund me. Trying to undeistand and
come to terms with life is what analysing, leanung, and
therefore, acquiring knowledge, is all about. Maybe this isn't
considered learning? Maybe only a few hold the same
viewpoint? I would probably be a happiw person, at least on
a superficial level, if I did not analyse everything so much.
"Ignorance is bliss." But is it? Much depends on what I want
to achieve in this world. If the sole purpose of existence is to
become wealthy, then maybe obtaining high grades will help
me to reach this goal. But I want more out of life. Thinking
and analysing may be more difficult, biu ultimately I feel that
I will gain so much more.
"Life's a bitch, then you d i e M s this true? I refiise to accept
this, but nor can I refiite it. Life has so much to offer, whilst
time is so short. As students we may believe that this
'pointless' system of studying is leading us nowhere. This
system, including its imperfections, is the fust step I must take
before I can fmd my individual source of inspiration, which
leads me to an understanding of the meaning of life. *
mftm CAMPAia
Anthony Edmonds
^ ^ ^ 1 am writing to express
J ^ m y sincere concern
• • a t j o u t the most serious
problems this university has
had to face since the days it
first opened its doors. No.it is
not the increasing amount of
sexual assaults on campus.
Nor Is it the current fiasco
Involving disagreements about
car-parking facilities. Indeed
not. Afar more serious
concern looms about us daily,
yet, up until now, no-one has
had the guts to speak out
about such a sensitive issue. It
is time to blow the whistle and
put a stop to the blatant abuse
which is engulfing the Clayton
campus at an alarming rate of
acceleration. It should be
obvious by now that I am, of
course, referring to the people
who hobble around the
university on crutches. Such
blatant acts of hypochondria
should be condemned in
today's democratic society,
and I will just not tolerate such
selfish and inconsiderate
people.
Firstly, they deliberately hobble at
a snail's pace when you are wanting
to get past, and when you do pass
them, they speed up just to piss you
oft! Various offenders exaggerate
their so-called 'limp' so everytiody
will think, 'Boy, they must be good at
sport to rip the hell out of a medial
and cnjciate ligament like that!'.
While this tactic may fool many of my
fellow students, I am not so easily
tooled! I know that you tripped over
the cat, ortostyour balance when
you were pteking your nose and
walking down the steps. I know your
type!
There are various degrees of
seriousness of the daily violations
which these 'crutch-bearing' students
commit. They are as follows:
1 . They take up 2 seats in lecture
theatres, as opposed to the standard
'rule' of one seat per person per
lecture. This common offence takes
place not only in packed lectures, but
also in 'enpty' ones. This example
illustrates the uncompromising state
of mind of these creatures of the
'wooden-legged' variety. You don't
see me lying across the seats In a
lecture theatre so as to occupy nwre
than my allocated seat, do you? I
think not!
accuracy, arxl you will then find that
their cnjtches will come In handy and
mayt}e they will also learn a valuable
lesson.
If you discover, however that they
are genuine, you will hear them yelp,
and they will probably fall to the
ground, doubling-up in pain. Not to
worry, you will have a good headstart
on them, by the tinne they get up
again. Besides, you will be comforted
by the peace of mind that you will
gain from the exchange, In
discovering that there are still some
honest people In society.
Let's not dabble in the 'petty'
issues of violence on campus, the
AUSTUDY debate, the wastage of
student funds and the present
car-par1<ing debacle. The time has
come to put ourselves on the line,
and end this current 'cmtch-abuse'
' before it gets totally out of hand. •
PROUDLY SERVING WAVERLEY FOR OVER 32 YEARS
2 . They willingly ignore
'lift-etiquette' by getting In the lift on
the second fk)or and getting out at
the fifth, when I want to get out at the
seventh fk)or, hence, not only
wasting valuable lift-space with their
oversized cnitches, but more
importantly, throwing my timetable
into disan-ay by the inclusion of the
two extra, unscheduled lift-stops.
Bastardsl
3.They expect you to open doors
for them when such an act is clearly
not In your self interest, for example,
when you are not going out the same
door at the exact same time as they
are, but In the height of their
selfishness, they want you to hotel
the door open for them, as if their
arms are in slings as well. Fair crack
of the whip!
COMPARE AND
CHEAPEST SPIRITS IN WAVERLEY
No function too BIG or too SMALL
4 . They lack total regard for
human rights insofar as they take
their time exiting lecture theatres,
cafeterias, toilets and other crowded
areas, holding many people at
ransom for their own satisfactton, just
so people will notice they are on
cnitches. Enough Is enough!
There are a growing number of
fakes hobbling about on crutches in
search of public sympathy, so just be
sure next time you see someone on
cmtches (whether it be on or off
campus), kick them in the alleged
injured leg just to make sure they are
not being dishonest. If you find out
that they are a 'faker', kick them
again, this time with bullet-like
MELBOURNE'S LEADING SPECIALISTS
IN VINTAGE AUSTRALIAN WINES
^^
1"^'
1 <%i'
^1
OAVincCTM
L
BEDELIS LIQUOR
EMPORIUM
33 CENTREWAV P I N E V / O O D S Q U A R E , BlftCKBURH RD.
hlOUNT WAVERLEY
PH e02 7033
^H BB7 9707
sptiiaii A<ali>blt aniywhiia aliclia i i i t er.'fi) 30/</i»ji2_
27th April, 1992.
25
F I C T I O N
BARF
^ k ^ k It was a long way down. Eleven floors
^ ^ T actually. Brog stared across towards
^ ^ v the Dandenongs and admired the grey
haze, which lurked over the blue sky. His ears
popped and he went to the Sociology tutorial,
hoping with all his heart that the gorgeous
specimen who wordlessly encouraged him to
enrol In this subject the total object of his
utmost desire, would be in attendance.
She was not
The room was small, and the walls were
covered with posters proclaiming God to be a
female. Brog found a comfortable chair In the
comer, looked his female class-mates up and
down, noticed that the woman who sat next to
him had probably seen the last 7 Hailey's
Comets, pulled out a pen to look vaguely
Intelligent slumped back into his seat, and
proceeded to launch himself Into an aimless
stare out the window and Into the non-existent
ozone layer.
The tutor walked in. He was a bearded man
with a cheery grin: "How are we all today?"
The geriatric next to Brog started a
conversation with the tutor revolving around
how tough the real worid is. She pretended to
be wise and wholesome, but even Brog's
nonnaiiy placid sense of perception, was alert
to the fact that she had never made it in the real
world.
Then there was the standard
self-introduction, and summing up one's
credentials in less than 26 seconds. Everyone
seemed to struggle except for Brog.
The next hour was a bore. Brog was glued
to his watch (especially now that he knew how
to read it) and accumulated many minutes
absorbed by an exceptionally attractive grain
of dirt on his left shoelace.
Brog was relieved to leave the class and
dedded it was so boring that he would not
attend it again. Instead, he would attend
various tutorials until he found the one which
contained the fruit for which his loins yearned.
What our self-styled Valentino didn't know, was
that she was actually in that last tutorial but just
didn't turn up.
Brog's next class was Legal Process. He
found his way to the David Dertiam School of
Law, and somehow into the correct room on the
3rd floor. Despite Brog's proficient orienteering
skills, he was monumentally late. The door
creaked open, and the entire class of about 30,
looked at him in disgust. He found a seat in the
back comer.
The tutor was an awkward looking man. He
wore dari<-rimmed glasses, a dull suit, had
black hair brushed to one side which stood on
end as if he'd slept on it for several weeks and
for some reason, wore his tie tucked into his
shirt. He also spoke incomprehensibly,
Susan Holdsworth
preferring to use 9-syllable words so as to
confuse anyone unworthy of him:" And such,
as the vital causal nexus shan't be excentuated
so as to analyze the Lord's emphatic ratios..."
Needless to say, Brog was confused.
Finally, the epic half-hour finished and the
class sifted out Brog accidentally bumped into
the front-row boy outside the class-room, and
dedded It was time for him to flaunt his vast
talents in the art of conversation: "G'day."
The half-hour slowly drifted away, each
minute exactly like the last, as the tutor slowly
sank deeper and deeper into the murks of a
self-made language known as Oxfordian. Brog
cunningly decided that it would not be in his
best Interests to sleep, so he concentrated on
those who occupied the front row, the epitomy
of Academia.
The boy picked up his black leather case
from the ground, looked maliciously at Brog
and proceeded to let James Bond encompass
his soul:" Law Eco/Law". And with that
lesson in snobbery, he shaped to leave.
Unfortunately, before he could, Brog, slightly
unimpressed by this attitude, unaccidentally
spilt some liquid paper on the aloof one's black
pants. Consequently he was threatened with
legal action concerning defamation of
character, and battery. A giri next to Brog at the
time started laughing, so Brog, alert to the
chance of interaction with the opposite sex,
sprung into conversational action. Her name
was Jacqui, and had an immediate dass, Brog
watched as Jacqui moved suarvely into the
academic distance. He pondered the
possibilities of a legal merger, although
perhaps a beautiful friendship may have just
begun....Brog's greatest fear. •
One giri had apparently written 6 pages of
notes from the hour. Buried in her
texttwok/notebook compilation, she could not
look up. One boy was dressed in a suit took
rapid notes, and recorded the entire hour on
TDK. Then Brog noticed who sat in the comer
of the front row...Lisa Prim. Wide-eyed she
studiously took down everything which the tutor
said, had a tape-recorder in front of her, as well
as a video camera standing on a tripod next to
her, just in case she missed any vital body
gestures. Swat.
i
Dear Editors,
THE GOSPEL
ACCORDING TO URFS
In the uproar following Bob
Thomas' article on Ultra-Radical
Feminists or URFs, as they are
now known, an URF was heard to
say that it was the equivalent of
having a go at a religion.
Although it is obviously
ridiculous to compare a fringe
political group to a religion, it
made me think of what an URF
religion would be like.
It would be called either
URFism or URFianity. Members
would woiship the Mother URF
Goddess, or MUG for short Tbdo
this, they would have an altar on
which they would sacrifice
materials they deem sexist; bras
and lady shavers. There would
also be the great satans - the
unholy trinity of Hugh "Playboy"
Hefner, Bob "Penthouse"
Gwecione and John "I hope they
can cook" Blackman - the
anti-URFs.
Thank-you, thank-you for
demonstrating just what agro,
irrational little creatures you are.
Never in my wildest dreams did I
expect such a classic and
consummate
public
demonstration of what being an
URF is all about! Thanks too to
all those who supported the now
obvious proposition that URFs
are a particularly irrelevant
minority. Given the wide
publicity URFs attracted one
hardly needs to comment further
on their feeble attempts at
censorship or their definitive
aggressiveness. Nevertheless, as
they still seem unclear on a
couple of points let me clarify.
Am I anti-Feminist? No. No
rational person (yes, that does
include me) denies the value of
the Feminist movement or
disputes the pabiaichal nature of
society. Neidier do they dispute
the need to establish equitable
standards and expectations for
BOTH sexes. Do I think total
equality has been achieved? No,
of course not, but what myopic
little URFs (or is that a tautology)
fail to realise is that in older to
introduce and maintain change,
the agents of change MUST
retain their credibility. Clearly
URFs damage the credibility (and
thus the effectiveness) of the
legitimate Feminist movement,
and as a result the overall thrust
of Feminism is diminished.
The religion would have one
golden rule • all men are created
evil, and the cross would no
longer be a symbol - it would be
a facial expression. They would
sing hems (with a silent "n")
instead of hymns, and all prayers
would end with awomyn. Only
meat from male animals would be
Actually, the essential fact
kosher.
Members would not be which URFs fail to appreciate is
peimitted to have names such as the fact that equality is not
Amanda, Mandy or surnames synonymous with homogeneity.
such as Johnson, Simpson, Equality doesn't require both
Feldman or Maddison, and no sexes to locdc, act, think and feel
URF would be allowed to go to in an identical manner. URFs try
Manchester. There would be two to deny both sexes the right to
holy oiders, the order of Thelma retain their basic femininity and
and the order of Louise, which masculinity and their sexual
would devote themselves mainly individuality. On the one hand
URFs object to societal
to missionary activity.
Finally, there would be conditioning of women, yet on
reincarnation, where the soul the other they attempt to replace
starts off as a man and works its it with their own equally
way up through the insect and desUTictive substitute. All URFs
animal queendoms until it finally seem to want is some sort of
boring
attains womynity, and bom there hermaphrodite,
ascends to their own version of uniformity, based on a
fundamentally
anti-male
Nirvana-URFers Paradise.
philosophy.
Even though my article made
Jamie Hyams
my position quite clear, it's
Law 7 *
curious the way some URF
correspondents managed to credit
me with thoughts, beliefs and
motivations which were not only
totally erroneous but simply
unsupported by anything
remotely resembling fact.
Perhaps URF readers could try
reading what I actually write
rather than straining their tiny
little minds with imaginary
inter^aetadons.
However, I'll leave that topic to
some other scribe.
For those readers who would
like to see some fresh URF
jottings, might I direct them to the
female toilets near the Union
photocopiers? Whilst I can't
claim to have seen them
flrst-hand, I am reliably informed
One correspondent simply did that there, in a typical display of
not like my style of writing. Well URF eruditeness, are copious
hush my mouth and call me examples of why one should
illiterate! Of course there were never give an URF too may
the usual cries of "misogynist", crayons to play with. Lots of
but then URFs call most males anti-male grafiiti signed by none
misogynists as a matter of other than the "Sisters in
principle, just as Ihey use the tennti Castration". I may be wrong, but
"sexist" to describe anything they URFs seem to be a mite bit
disagree with. Really, URFs, try obsessive about certain areas of
and be a little
more the male anatomy, but then who
discriminating
in
your am 1 to judge? Muchas gracias to
terminology. A couple of the person who added "Thank
psychoanalysts, for want of God for Bob Thomas", but I'll bet
anything intelligent to say, some URF erases that bit before
struggled to explain away my too many pe(q>le get to read it!
views on the basis of my alleged
SufTice to say, if URFs can't
sexual inadequacies and my
cope with the concept of "equal
"hatted of women". Wrong again,
but different" then I suppose
dear URFs, it's not women in
that's a bit sad. However, to
general or Feminists in particular
pretend that they are legitimate
that give me the shits - just URFs.
Feminists or that they advance die
Actually I rather like women, feminist cause is simply untrue,
perhaps even in preference to my and their real nature has been
own gender. I suppose I too could clearly exhibited in recent days.
have played psychiatrist and Thanks anyway URFs, I am sure
called upon Freud to explain everyone has had an URFully
away this fetish URFs have for good time in the last few weeks,
acquiring my balls - would Freud and just think how boring life
have seen diat as a rather extreme
would be if you behaved like
case of penis envy? Who knows.
normal people.
. . and as for Larissa, thanks for
the offer sweetie, but I don't go to
Salman Thomas ^
bed with just ANYONE you
know. In any event, the positive
Dear Editors,
feedback I received from my
article far outweighed the
With the latest censorship
irrelevant rantings and daubings
controversy, this time concerning
of a few URFs.
Bob Thomas, isn't it time to
One interesting issue which
review the MAS policy against
warrants further comment is URF
'sexism'? How can one seriously
hypocrisy. URFs have this
describe Bob Thomas' article as
inclination toward violence
'sexist' and argue that it should be
(amply demonstrated recently)
banned? It is obvious that the
which sets them apart from
derinition of 'sexism' has been
normal people and real Feminists.
twisted beyond its original
Call me old fashioned, but Death
intention. When this happens, the
and Castration seem to me to be a
implications for free speech are
tad over-reactive somehow, and
serious, so serious, in fact, that
I'm sure that URFs would have
dropping die policy and risking
labelled me doubly sexist had I
the odd piece of sexist material is
made reference to their genitalia
probably a safer course for
as they did to mine. There is a
tolerance
and
effective
plethora of double standards
democracy at Monash.
associated with URFs who see no
contradiction in adopting the
same behavioural characteristics
which they reject in males.
Peta HefTeman
Arts/Law 2 •
4
Chris Warm's
Up his Pencil
Dear Editors,
4
Everyone appreciates that
running a student newspaper is a
hard and thankless task.
However, it seems you insist on
making it harder on yourselves.
One of your key jobs is raising
the level of readership of your
paper, and one of the most
obvious ways of achieving this
task is by raising issues, (or even
controversy) that interest the
student body.
Unfortunately you have
confused the idea of "issue
raising" (or controversy) with
harassment This is particularly
illusttaled by the article written
by Bob Thomas tided 'Beware of
Uie URF'. Any idiot can see that
this article was written to offend
a significant and important group
on campus.
These so called URFs are
denigrated in a highly subjective
fashion, and you, as editors, must
bear some of die responsibility
for the offence you have caused
right across campus.
Just because they choose to
dress differently, and have
decided not to conform to the
yuppie males' version of what an
ideal woman should be, it does
not mean they should be
dismissed, insulted or harassed.
They play a vibrant and vital role
in making this campus a more
liveable place for women and
men.
If Bob Thomas and the other
reactionary conservaUve prats
can't appreciate or criticize this
valid group of students without
resorting to playground buUyboy
tactics, they should put up or shut
up.
Chris Buckinghan
ARTSm
I
,
'•
j
I
'
i
|
i
!
j
]
]
j
\
4
P.S. It strikes me that Bob
Thomas has confused his dick
Job
with his pencil. •
lick
!
j
m
27th April, 1992.
Dear Editors,
Upon reading the last edition
of Lot's Wife, and hearing
peoples' attitudes in relation to it,
I began to ponder the significance
of Bob Thomas' article, and his
bizarre classification, "URF".
What is an "URF" afteiall, but a
pointless acronym that is being
used and abused by Lot's Wife
and those unwilling to come to
terms with open debate on
feminist issues. It all whiffs of
Macarthyism if you ask me. Who
is Bob Thomas? Why did Lot's
Wife ring 'The Age'? Why did
they promote and propagate a
simplistic,
meaningless
classification with which they can
label anyone with whom they
don't agree. It seems the powers
that be have adopted the term
"URF' in the same way that the
"House
of
unAmerican
Activities' Committee" adopted
the label "Communist". As it is
now, anyone who expresses a
view that even slightly challenges
the traditional sex roles and the
discrimination they entail, will be
labelled an "URF". I,too, was
offended by the condom
advertisement last year, it WAS
sexist. Am I therefore an "URF^
If I am, what does that mean? In
truth, it means nothing. There is
something conspiratorial in all
this. The idea of an "URF" has
been deliberately developed into
a launching pad for paranoic
attacks on feminism, parliculaily
convenient in light of the recent
struggle for a Women's
Department on campus. Don't be
fooled folks, labelling someone
an "URF" is bullshit It smacks of
Nazi-like persecution and is
therefore truly frightening.
27
L E T T E R S
Dear Editors,
There appear to have been
some misunderstandings arising
from the URF article in edition 3.
In paiticular,some have become
quite sanctamonious about
freedom of speech (in this case,
freedom to put anything one likes
in this newspaper) being essential
to democracy.
ever really pondered what it is
like to be a woman and out up
with sexual innuendo, the
put-downs, the fear of violence,
the constant focus on what you
look like but not what you are? Go
on, think about it, try hard, don't
be put off because I 've suggested
you 've got brains the size of peas,
they may not be that big. Possibly
you are redeemable as logical,
sympathetic human beings.
Perhaps you could start by
pondering why so many of your
female friends (some of you will
obviously have to ponder on
acquaintances) are obsessive
about their weight and
appearance. Why in fact, are so
many bulimic or anorexic? Go on,
keep trying, think hard. Why is
this boys? Is it because women
(but not men) really believe Jenny
Now I have a problem with Craig ads? Do people with XX
perhaps
•freespeech. If you, Ben Carter, or chromosomes
any other peison unhaiqiy with instinctively want to wear the
this decision want free speech, mamel off their teeth with acid
then that person can stand on a from their vomit? Perhaps some
soapbox in the Union Building 14 year olds are naturally prone to
and have all the free speech they starving themselves to death? Are
wanL Alternatively, they can put some women a bit overwhelmed
their free speech in their own byraunchyyoung studs like you
kids and are actually trying to
publication.
The important point here is to make diemselves too thin to be
Slate that the student body has attractive? Perhaps women are
democratically decided that it just basically a bit dumb? Which
will not publish (and hence answCT boys?
Nothing could be further from
the truth. Democrxtcy demands
that decisions of the majority,
made in accordance with a
constitution, are followed, even
when those administering those
decisions disagree with them. In
this case, the student body has
decided that those articles which
are sexist, racist or militarist, are
not to be published.
No boys, it's not any of the
above. It's really pretty basic
stuff. All their lives women have
been bombarded with shit society
(including sad, unthinking dorks
like you blokes) telling them that
they're physically unattractive,
they're fat, that physical
appearance ALWAYS matters, to
the point where it is extremely
If you cannot accept the difficult for any normal person to
xlemocradcally set terms of your ignore and not to lake some of it
office
then
the
only to heart. And that's just ONE of
constitutional,
the
only the things dumped on women. If
Ian Mandcrs
democratic course of action left is I didn't want to be depressed even
Arts3
for you to resign. Any other action more by dribbling dweebs such as
would be hypocritical, given your yourselves, I could easily add a
few more examples about overt
ED'S NOTE: We used the
vocal support of "democracy".
violence, job discrimination,
term "URF" inoureditorial,only
Love,
sexual exploitation, etc.
because of graffiti
around
Brian Weatherson
campus. Scrawling! such as
That's why Gaia, or whatever
ARTS\LAWn.«
"VRF's fight back" and simply,
female deity runs the world, gave
'URF", suggested to us thai they
us radical feminists boys, to
To Bob, Daniel, Tim, challenge the status quo you are
consented to the usage of such a
term. Also, it was "The Age" who Niclc, Scott, Mr Name helping maintain. We actually
actually contacted us, wanting to
Withlield (gutsy effort need more radicals boys, to
know what had happened on
mate) and all the young challenge this bullshit! To help
throw out this pretence that equal
campus. ^
lads out there still opportunity had arrived and
grappling with infantile everyone's happy. To kick
D e a r Editors,
concepts of good and bad people's arses when they hide
from reality, or are a bit too slow
feminists.
I feel that after this week,
articles dealing with the URFs
You pathetic little insular to grasp it That's how change
should be stopped, as they've got
farts. You mindless gits. You happens boys. Hopefully as you
their tiny bit of recognition and
brajiless tykes. Boys, (and have grow older, you may begin to
don't deserve to waste our time
you noticed that you are all understand some of these basics.
anymore. I still laugh, however, at male?) have you ever scratched I too used to be a young, mindless
some of the comments theymade, your downy, spotty chins and sexist boy with a facade of
including the one about condom
wondered exactly why it is that thoughtfuhiess. I know it's hard to
adverts being sexist. They're just women get upset when you point fathom when you're a a
jealous because they don't make out that feminist radicals are comfortable, middle class, white
lubricated vibra-tibbed ones for really not nice women, not really male but if you work at it, perhaps
fingiersit!
proper feminists, and that women you can begin to grasp a sliver of
should really be content with the therealityaround you.
B J . Traill
glorious bliss that has arrived for
Tim Delahunty
Science 9 •
women in the new age? Have you
Sciences *
; bankroll) articles which it fmds to
be unacceptable. Editorial
rantings about free speech are
misguided, the important aspect
is the mode of speech, and who
pays for that speech. If we had
free speech, as defined by you, we
would allow the graffiti you
complain of as further free
speech.
Dear Mr. Thomas,
Dear Editors,
We write in response to your
article, 'Beware the URF!'. You
express a preference for what you
describe, as the 'common or
garden' variety feminist. You
desire feminists of a pretty
petunia variety it would seemthose that are quiet, sunny,
unobtrusive and cheerful.
Unfortunately this desire is based
on the (stated) assumption that
'sexual equality' has been 'won'Ihat women (and men) need no
longer fight for it but should now
be satisfied to be tended and
pruned into pleasing shapes by
powers that be.
I am writing to announce that
a motion calling for the
establishment of a Men's
Department at Monash, will be
proposed at the next Student
General Meeting.
There is a manifest need for a
Men's Department. Males
comprise less than 50% of
undergraduates and diis suggests
that there is discrimination at
work which is causing males lo be
under-represented in the tertiary
sector.
In society generally, males
The harsh reality is, that have a lower life expectancy than
women must face obstacles to women. Men also have higher
sexual equality everyday. Women rates of suicide and alcoholism,
still only earn 62% of the male no doubt caused by the repressive
wage, only 2% are in top anti-male attitudes prevalent in
management positions and within our matriarchal society (for
the University, while women example the emphasis on
make up the majority of the child-bearing and fertility
student population, very few hold causing "womb-envy" in males).
positions in the upper echelons of Men are more likely to be victims
academia. More importantly, of violence than women. Women
women, everywhere, everyday, arc granted custody of children in
face situations of violence and a large majority of divorce cases
sexual harassment- rape, and this is another example of
domestic
violence
and discrimination against males.
intimidation everywhere- from
Sexual harassment is not
the home, to the workplace, to the exclusively done by males to
street
females and I myself have been
In reality, in the world outside the victim of many ocacherous
the garden, women need to be looks from female undergrads.
weeds or trees- widi strong roots,
tough skins and thorns- to merely
To have a Women's
survive the direct physical abuse Department without a Men's
they receive, as well as to Department would be extremely
withstand the debilitating and sexist The Men's Department
more insidious attacks made by will deal with sexual harassment,
those (such as yourself) under the assist male students with course
comforting, but misguided, and study problems and
illusion that the 'fight' has been undertake campaigns to highlight
'won'.
Men's issues. As per the Women's
In effect Mr Thomas, your Department,
the
Men's
article simply establishes a false Department will have a budget of
opposition. You set up two $78,(X)0 including $34,853 for a
categories of feminists; those that Men's officer (preferably
are 'nice' and easily restrained myselO.
(those who will let you 'pick'
them) and those who are k>ud,
obtrusive and pose arealthreat to
Yours Sincerely,
the (unequal) status quo (those
Cameron Carter •
. who will tell you to go fuck a
pehmia).
If there is something to be
opposed it is this type of glib
classification, these 'amusing',
arbitrarily imposed categories
which, whatever the intention,
simply trivialize (and undermine
the struggle against) the very real
obstacles and harassment women
continue to confront everyday.
Caitlin Mabar
Hilary Harper
Arts3 •
D e a r Editors,
Has it occuned to anyone that
the smURFs are getting exactly
the publicity they wanted?
Paul Heitlinger
Business Systems 2 *
Adam with the
l o n g name
Dear Editors,
A short list of questions for
those of you who wrote in
attacking Bob Thomas:
Do you believe in free
speech?
Do you believe in democracy
as we know it?
Do you endorse the death
threats against Bob Thomas?
Are you, by your actions,
defending a new form of fascism?
And are those of you who slay
silent in fear of also being
attacked, appeasing this new
strain of facism?
•
Adam Spivakovsky ^
J
LETTERS
28
Dear Editors,
Fan Mail
Dear Editors,
Placid Permits
Dear Editors,
We have noticed a recent
We are writing to voice our
At the Union Board meeting proliferation around the
Dear Editors,
concern over the common
of the 9th of April a motion was university of what could only be
occurrence of people walking
moved that stopped the described as "Orange People".
Dear Editors,
I am compelled to voice and
around Uni without any shoes.
development of a Women's These so called "orange people" park my protest over the parking
That someone may one day drop
It was with irony that after Department. Three votes were can be found sitting in alluring spaces (or rather, the lack of it)
an axe on some bare feet is a
wading through so much cast for the establishment of a poses (depending on viewing provided by the campus
horrifying yet VERY REAL
righteous indignation in the last Women's Department, 8 votes angle) along one side of the path management. I fully agree with
Lot's Wife (no.4) about freedom were cast against the department connecting the Ming Wing and Daniel's point of view (Lots Wife prospect, and we feel that all
students must take immediate
of speech and the Bob and there was one abstention. All the Union. The typical "orange 24 March 1992) that parking
Thomas-URF case that I came three of us voted for the person" can be found dressed in permits are not worth the plastic steps to make sure it never
upon my own article on page 31 establishment of a Women's flared jeans, body suits and black ihey are printed on, especially at
happens. Let's exercise caution,
of the paper. The article, Department. As a secret ballot Succhi shoe-boots, but regardlessaround ten to eleven in the
wear protective footwear at all
submitted for the previous edition was called it is impossible to say of dress, they are characterized by morning.
times and try to keep our Uni, the
but not printed in that one, had who abstained, however, we that unnatural orange glow. After
I am disgusted with having to happy and un-bloodied place it
been transformed from an open assume that since Robot Douglas endless hours of debate we have pay $37 for a piece of plastic that has always been.
letter to a letter-to-the-editor, thus was bound by C&S policy either been unable to establish any does not even allow me to pari:
putting it out of context It also to vote for the Women's satisfactory conclusions as to my car and be in time for my
Yours
had been edited to the point of Department or at least abstain, why any rational human being eleven o'clock lecture. I even
PWAROWJLTSOTOV •
would voluntarily inflict this
unintelligibility in several places. that he abstained.
had to pay seventy cents for the
upon themselves. (Could it be the
^ 1
A previous article of mine in the
privilege to park by the Science
Therefore, Kerry Barker (who
first Lot's Wife of this year was moved the motion on notice) and recent nuclear disaster in faculty simply because the
also marginalised in the back Jeremy Parkinscm voted against Russia?)
machine have tan out of change
pages and severely edited with the Department. This was in
" ^ ^ ^
Any suggestions??
(copy of prove enclosed). What
words actually inserted in one blatant opposition to the direction
Dear Editors,
««p
was worse, by the time I had to
place.
walk all the way to the machine
given to them by the Student
Julian (Artsl)
Re: The inconsiderate people
(why don't they install machines who persist to smoke in the
Lyndal (Arts2)
It seems that this year's Lot's General Meeting (SGM) on the
in convenient spots and nearer the designated non-smoking Union
editors are following in the 7lh of April. It is true that the
Nick (Arts2)
park spaces?) my heart was Building. I was sitting upstairs
footsteps of previous ones in SGM was inquorate, and
Juddy (Eco/Arts2)
boiling with rage and stress. The having my lunch today, when the
promoting
and
giving therefore not legally binding,
Breodon (Arts/L«w2) 4
result: disrupted concentration stench of that most vial of habits,
prominence to their own political only morally binding. However, it
during the lecture at the Rotunda. wafted through the air.
cronies (this year conservatives is also true that the vote in favour
Dear Editors,
like Ben Carter and Bob Thomas) of the Women's Department was
The gravel pit as an
I asked the people concerned
while marginalising, editing to overwhelming (around 80%), and
I have a theory about the alternative? You must be to put their smokes out; They
that
this
was
the
only
forum
pieces or simply cleverly not
hooded mongrel and it goes along thinking of an imaginary parking either ignored these pleas, or
printing (eg Education Campaign where student views were the lines that I am about to relate.complex above the roof of the ihink that they are so cool as to be
stuff) articles by those with expressed. Indeed, if diey did not I postulate thai he is an elaborate millions of cars there!
unaffected by the rules of the
(q)posing political views. I was feel that they were bound, then April Fool/hoax perpetrated by
Why don't all permit holders Union.
told by one editor who claimed why did they feel the need to hide the Lot's Wife editors. Shame demand and express our protest
Have some consideration for
she was apolitical (ha, ha, as if iheir votes in a secret ballot?
Lot's, shame. Skeptical? instead of taking it out on the car other people's lungs.
I'm an utter idiot!) that to be
We believe
student Consider die evidence:
and on ourselves. Expkxle our
happy with an article you should representatives should be
a) He is too politically erudite stressed minds and opinions of
Signed,
do the layout yourself. However, accountable to the students who to be an authentic engie
what was meant to be our rightful Cough, cough, splutter,
many of the right-wing friends of elected them. This is why we have
b) As an arch bigot, die lot of privilege by uniting in a voice. A splutter >
the editors whose articles feature declared the way in which we the poor, suffering Arts students voice that can be heard and acted
in the paper are not listed as those voted, and we feel that the other (re-classroom space) would upon is certainly better than a
Dear Editors,
who do layout.
elected members of the board hardly rally him to their defence. voice that only we can hear
It is nonsense for Bob Thomas
I and many others are not should do likewise.
c) Not once in his letter, so far, screaming in rage inside us.
fooled by the LW editors'
If Union Board continues to has he mentioned the word 'V6'
Park your protest! And sound to equate himself with Salman
Rushdie. He doesn't write that
equivocation on "freedom of hide its deliberations, how can the
If I am mistaken, then I your horns of action!!
well.
speech and limited censorship": student body support its actions? challenge you to reveal your
Why, our conservative editors, of Blair Comley
superhero identity, Mr XX, you
Signed,
course! What is also annoying is Postgraduate representative
Literally Yours
big girlie dweeb.
Mr. Kerry Edwards
that the editors claim that Lot's University Union Board
Gilla Grosioger ^
Meanwhile, cogitate on Uiese
Eco/Law4 •
Wife is a student newspaper and Edwina Hanlon
facts: the new performing aits
yet articles by myself and friends
centre may or may not be a
Ben Hider
have not been printed in editions
WOFTAM, but, unlike the new
General
Student
representative
containing pieces by academics
Engie complex, at least it hasn't
like Ray Nicholls, Bruce University Union Board •
buried a hammer cage, a shotput
Chapman and Eve FfesL
ring and a long jump pit under
3(XX) tons of prestressed concrete.
Freedom of speech is when
Dear Editors,
As for public transport users and
everyone has an equal
We are writing this letter to cyclists, we'll be truckin' long
oppoitunity to a say. Freedom of
speech does not exist in the protest about what we will call, after your quasi-religious lump of
monopolised mainstream media, "The Liquid Paper Affair". iron has been scrapped and
r r s YOUR CHOICE... nCK THE
Unfortunately, we have been melted down to produce 20
nor does it exist in Lot's Wife.
OFFER VOU WMIT
asked not to go into any of the bicycles. One thing Engineers
details of this scandal, because it ain't gonna do (even in this
Alex Shturgot
may hurt a number of people. We nuclear age) is build on a more
Artg3
D RRST 6 LESSONS Vi PRICE
had still planned to publish all of robust, fiiel efficient car with a
( l O M 0»tfi»l>»» ONLY 17 yaar or n a n
half
life
exceeding
S
years
(the
the
details,
because
it
affects
a
tot
Ets note: Alex, your article
0 « D 8 LESSONS HALF PWC€
which appeared on the "back"of students, but we have for the dme taken for half of it to rust
(EVERY SECOND LESSON) Haw *m^
pages in ourfirst edition, was onmoment decided not to, because away).
rm% ONL't i7 imm a otm)
we
were
informed
that
one
of
the
page 12 in a 32-page edition. We
Yours in obscurity
have included a contribution people involved had apologised.
Snatf one oUsr p*r (mton Otm • n k 30-6^2
David Bowker
from yourse^in all ofour editions
Sorry that we have to be
G(ve vour choce wtien you book, on
except for the second, when nonecryptic. We hope to be able to
578 63^6 and g^e ths advert to
(CIO
C.L.O.A.C.C.A.
were received. Perhaps this is aclear up the mystery as soon as
mstrtjclor on FIRST LESSON ONLY
true indication cf the validity ofpossible.
Cyclists, Long jumpers. Opposed
your claims. •
, to Anarchic Cloaked Canines.)
Names Withheld. •
OLYMPIC
DRIVING SCHOOL
5786355
4c«^tr
29
27th April, 1992.
Dear Editors,
On a recent lunchtime
excursion to the Dandenong Rd.
McDonalds, my friends and I
chanced upon a most heinous
crime. In comparison the
Rainforest/Beef issue is but a
mere trifle. There we sat,
innocently eating our hamburgers
when wc happened to glance
toward the counter. Imagine our
shock and feelings of nausea
upon seeing three young rabbits,
lynched bom the rafters, in the
spirit of the wild west. This
pretence of Easter decorations
had become more than jest.
Before our very eyes we
witnessed another two purple,
two female, and one yellow
stuffed, fluffy bunny rabbit meet
with the same fate as their
unfortunate brothers and sisters.
This vulgar parody of the Easter
crucifixion was perpetrated
whilst cheery tunes droned in the
background. We could not ignore
this abhorrence of biblical
proportions. Hence my brothers
and I have formed an ad hoc
organisation dedicated to the
freedom and dignity of all stuffed
animals.
Our organisation is planning a
dawn raid in which to free our
fuzzy siblings from the chains of
commercial bondage, which
they are so savagely tied. We
encourage you all to join us in an
effort to free our stricken
comeiades.
Front for Liberation of United
Fuzzy Friends (FLUFF) or you
may have seen our redundant title
URF (United Rabbits' Front).
Mark Battisticli
Dan TVinidade
Law/Science 2
Andrew Schutz
Science 1 ^
Greetings Lot's Wife
Editors,
The important role of student
newspapers is intensified by the
closure of major daily
newspapers in Brisbane,
Adelaide and Melbourne.
Murdoch and Packer are the main
owners of our major and regional
newspapers. Student newspapers
provide the community with
alternative viewpoints, when
discussing the issues of the day.
article about the development of
a Women's Department at
Monash. This omission was very
disappointing, as a student
General meeting had been
organised for a few days after
Lot's Wife hit the streets. A
quorum of 800 students is needed
to radfy the proposals and die
article would have provided
valuable information on the
issues involved.
Student media is responsible
to its readership to provide
balanced representation of
student issues. Exploration and
debate of these issues is
fundamental to informed decision
making.
To blur and decide impoitant
student concerns, is to play into
the hands of those who use
humour and ridicule, (or
violence) to discredit opposition
and supress
community
discussion of community issues.
Lot's Wife should be a forum
for rational debate of those issues
which affect us as students in the
Monash community. This is not
an easy task, but is the mandate
for the existence of Lot's Wife.
Yours in struggle,
Yvette Scholtmeyer ^
Dear Editors,
Upon reading the latest Lot's
Wife (7/4), I discovered
somethingratherdistressing. The
standard of journalism in our
University newspaper can only be
described as poor. This criticism
applies to several of the authors of
articles in the most recent edition
and, also to authors of articles in
previous editions. It is true that
we are seeing a range of articles
with different viewpoints,
however, this in itself does not
constitute a good newspaper or
result in good journalism. In the
latest edition, there were three
pages of "news" andfivepages of
"comment". The heading
"comment" seems to imply that
writers can use emotive and
biased language to express their
own views. Often, when
comparing articles with opposing
viewpoints, one finds there are
obvious discrepanciesrelatingto
fact. The implication being; if one
has an opinion, one may distort
the truth, under the heading
"comment". The average person,
having made such observations,
will attract no credibility
whatsoever to articles of this
nature. We, the students, do not
want to read five pages of
someone else's biased opinions.
More space should be allocated to
news items which ought to be
reported in an objective manner.
Anyone who wishes to support an
argument should use facts to do
so.
Thisresponsibilityisaserious
consideration when, as editors,
you choose what to include in die
paper, and just as important, what
not to include.
Lot's Wife recently printed a
somewhat inflammatory article
by Bob Thomas; a frivolous
attempt to justify
the
objcctification of Women
students at Monash.
A high proportion of Lot's
In the same edition. Lot's Wife "journalists" are guilty of
Wife failed to print a serious exaggerating, generalising,
sensationalising, distorting the
truth, using emotive language and
illogical argument, not quoting
the source, and being biased. The
resulting articles? More fiction
that facL Freedom of expression
is a wonderful thing. It is a pity no
one seems to be able to express
themselves. I suggest Lot's Wife
offer a prize for high standards of
journalism, and that this be
judged by independent experts
(i.erepresentativesfrom leading
Melbourne newspapers). The
media has enough to answer for
as it is. I'd hate to see it decline to
the level seen in Lot's Wife. For
anyone who wishes to see more
specifically what I am criticising,
there is a copy of the paper in the
Lot's Wife office with the
offending clauses marked.
Dear Editors,
I am writing regarding the
misleading article on the NUS
disaffiliation entitled "60,000Sludents to Have say" in Lot's
Wife (10/3).
This article gave the
impression that the A£ of the
MAS unanimously passed the
motion. It may therefore be
concluded that 7 out of 7 of the
AE were in favour of the motion.
The article says nothing of the
fact Uiat only 4 of the 7 AE were
present at the meeting. Can 4 be
said to represent the 7
unanimously? Would they have
supported the motion if they
attended? We do not know.
It also does not mention the
fact that there were no formal
votes taken on the motion. It
Emma Gardner
might not have been unanimous if
ARTS\ENGINEERING H
Ed's note: Your suggestion of a vote had actually been taken.
Lot's Wife offering a prize for high Disaffiliating Erom NUS is not a
standards of Journalism is an trivial matter, and should not be
excellent idea, and one which we taken lightly.
intend to pursue in the coming
It is an issue which each
editions. •
contributing student should
consider. Yes, NUS isn't perfect
What organization is? I support
Dear Editors,
the proposition that anyone who
Ireferto the comments made is unhappy with NUS should
by Mr Tony White, NUS National endeavour to improve it rather
President on Friday 27tfi March, than just run away and leave it to
when interviewed by Romana die.
It is up to you.
Koval Radio 3L0.
Hisreferencesto the Monash
Association of Students
officebearers was totally out of
order. Claims that the current
MAS officebearers are not as
representative as a throng of
rioting
students
totally
undermines
democratic
principles and the voting system
used by MAS that has never, I
believe, been called into question
by NUS in previous years.
The fact that the politically
non-aligned 'Spectrum' ticket,on
which 6 of the 7 Administrative
Executive members were on, and
which was one of the lai^gest and,
I believe, most representative of
the tickets that ran in the 1991
election, counters any arguments
he made regarding MAS's
unrepresentative nature.
Would he like to have us
believe that the NUS elections,
which resulted in Tony White
being elected NUS National
President, with factionalised
voting by roughly 200 delegates
is more representative of the
general student population than
nearly 3000 Monash voters
voting for their campus
representatives.
Tony White has undermined
the credibility of democratically
elected studentrepresentativesat
a campus Uiat is still affiliated to
NUS and therefore failed in his
role as NUS President to be a
spokesperson for all affiliated
campuses.
Ron Caspar
*
Yours Sincerely,
David Ob
Eco/Law3 •
Super
Spectrum
Dear Editors,
I, on behalf of the Spectrum
members of the Union Board, am
proud to announce that at the last
Union Board meeting, we
succeeded in fulfilling one of our
major campaign promises from
last year: that of holding a
referendum on the structure of the
Union in which more than one
proposal will be put forward.
Spectrum is an independent
coalition that ran in last year's
elections.
We feel that you, the students,
should decide between the
various proposals put forward.
Unlike last year, we are giving the
opportunity for more than one
proposal forreformto the Union
structure to be put forward.
However, at the Union Board
meeting concerned, it was
disappointing that 3 student
representatives did not support
the proposal to hold a
referendum.
Thisreferendumis scheduled
for August 3rd to the 7lh, and we
inv ite all students to exercise their
right to vote.
Yours in union,
Suryan Chandrasegaran 4
Don't we
read
enough
about
Austudy
on the
walls?
Dear Editors,
AUSTUDY
is
understandably, andrightlyso, an
issue of critical importance to
students and to those who value
the equality of education. It
necessarily follows from this that
such persons are entitled, and
indeed should be encouraged to
be strong in their conviction and
to vehemently oppose any moves
to abolish or reduce AUSTUDY
funding. But it does not
necessarily flow from this tliat
violent acts should be employed,
or condoned by supporters of
AUSTUDY and equality of
educatioon. The scenes outside
Parliament House during the
National Day Of Action
demonstration,
and
the
subsequent majority support at
the MAS General Meeting for
such violent acts, are, to say the
very least, misguided. The end
should never be cited to justify
the means, particularly when
those means amount to bullish
siand-over tactics, and die very
real threat of physical harm to
those who uphold the law, or fail
to
comply
with
the
demonstrator's view.
A demonstration, ttiat in ilie
heat of the moment transpires into
a momentary outbreak of
physical frustration, may be
explained away to the wider
community. But Tuesday's vole
of acceptance of such acts cannot
be justified.
It further saddened me to see
that the movers and supporters of
this motion were the very same
faces that campaigned vigorously
against Australia's involvement
in the Gulf War effort While they
may argue that there are no
parallels to be drawn between
AUSTUDY rally and the
declaration of war against Iraq,
my view is that the differences are
' at most only in degree. Afterall,
intention isn't required before
blood can spill.
Maybe it's simply a case of
short memories. But if it's not
simply a case of slioit memories,
dien I ask those people to focus
back to the peaceful, yet potently
effective methods of Ghandi.
While violence is employed
and condoned by some, the
student movement will remain
divided and clearly, united we
will stand, divided and
AUSTUDY wUI faU.
Brad Newton
4th Year •
30
HOODED
As the Mongrel peacefully
sat in the Nott on yet another
quiet Thursday night, I
suddenly saw someone who I
really ought to share a beer
with, or at least pick his
brains for some good ideas..
Yes the General of the
Arts/Engineering War; Nick
Welsh.
MONGREL: Nick, you've been
rather quiet of late, although Lot's
Wife letters reveal that you've been
dovm in Enemy Territory of late.
NW: Yes it's true that I've spent
some time in Mexico.
MONGREL: South of the
Union (Building)?
NW: Yes, thanks to Mick
Thompson for that quote. It's HK
most unassuming people that coin the
best phrases, such as the new
one:URF.
MONGREL: Are you Bob
Thomas?
NW: (laughing) You've got to be
joking, I'm not that fucking stupid.
MONGREL: I suppose so, now
that you've become somebody, ie.
one of the Chairmen of Activities.
NW: Chairpersons, it's an equal
society now.
MONGREL: Oh yeah, fuck
that. The reason I want to talk to
you is to get some help. Like many
Mongrels, I've been copping a lot
of shit and seeing as I've got fur, it
sticks, unlike that nice neophrene
suit you appear to be wearing...
NW: Well it's a big night out. I
expect to vomit profusely quite soon.
MONGREL: Yeah well, I want
someone with copious amounts of
experience to help me get around
to answering my critics. There's
this one bastard that reckons he
was my Counsellor when I was
young.
NW: WeU?
MONGREL: Mr Principle of
Arts/Law still has that uncanny
double-jointed back which still
enables him to fuck himself and he
didn't even mention it.
NW: Well there you go, buddy,
you've just been scathing and very
witty.
MONGREL: Have I? Oh that's
not so hard, but normally I find it
so irritating that some people are
unable to have a good laugh at
themselves. Everybody, whether
they like it or not, is 'boxed' by the
course they do. It's not every day
that you see a tie in the Hargrave
Cafe or an Iron Maiden Battle
Jacket in the Law Faculty, is it?
NW: I guess that's true, I don't
even own a tie. Another thing,
Mongrel, why don't you reveal
yourself?
MONGREL
^HOOIIED sNOHGIIEL
H
MONGREL: I really don't see
the need. It will become too much
hassle, what with my fans following
me aroimd. It's hard being a
demigod but once I am known,
well, stardom never really rests
well on the Mongrel's shoulders,
just look at Benji, remember that
awful dog-food bingeing incident? I
hope to follow in the footsteps of
Mr X and create the aura of
mystery that is associated with the
unknown.
NW: Or is it just that being a
Science/Engineer, you can't spell
your name yet?
MONGREL: That's probably it.
But I'm not going to be like you~.
NW: Now I really resent that
There was never a War between the
Faculties. It just seemed that all the
dumbfuck letters written in, happened
to be by people not from
Engineering...
mm mm
preparation of defence of my
viewpoint which may possibly differ
from those of the minorities that
control all debate at our dilapidated
university). Aren't we all allowed to
have a say no matter what we believe
in? Nick Welsh proved last year that
while not everyone is "right",
everyone has rights, no matter how
unpalatable their views.
MONGREL: Democratic of
course meaning you agree to what
they say. What are your views on
the URF/ISO problem, you've been
remarkably quiet on the issue...
NW: Well the whole issue makes
me...actually I think I am going to
be...
MONGREL: (With the sounds
of gut wrenching vomiting in the
background) I suppose in a
nutshell you really mean to say:
Get Fucked Shitheads because I'm
more famous than you.
NW: Umrf, yeah that's right
mate. Seeyaround...now where's that
fucking stomach pump...
I know I'm going to because, I'm
the Hooded Mongrel.
Well I am pleased to say that I
have at last learned the ability to
"get" back at the cockheads that
vainly try to match their wits against
mine. I've picked the brains of the
General, learnt the art of karate, (in
PS: After 3 years, if you work
hard, apply yourself and are
pretty smart, a Science/Engineer
can graduate from Science,
specifically April 15 this year. My
SciEg critic last edition was
obviously one of those fucking
stupid downs who vrander
through life with just no idea at
all. Hey good buddy, I've got a
Degree, what have you got
(except a complex)? •
MONGREL: That spelling
thing again...
NW: Well not really just that, its
because Engineers are pretty fucking
lazy and don'treallytake an interest
in Uni, being isolated and aU. We're
all here to get the learning that will
enable us to go out, rip up the Earth
and make megabucks.
MONGREL: With views like
that, I guess j'ou've got enemies.
NW: Well not the sort that will rip
my balls off. Anyway I really
shouldn't have any as long as people
realise that all I ever did was to have
a dig at their course. By retaliating,
it's those people who are expressing
their inferiority byrecognisingtheir
own shortcomings.
MONGREL: Well I'm not in
the business of destroying people.
All I try to do is not unlike some of
the things you did, ie. highlighting
the idiocies on campus. I was proud
of my research into the Buildings
Expenditure and not one person
agreed that it was a waste of
money. People are more interested
in forcing the viewpoints of
minorities dovm our throat as the
accepted norm and kicking police
horses.
NW: That's the way of the world
today. Mongrel. Obviously you can
feel safe in knowing that sort of
attimde is allowed to prevail and you
can pretty well say what you want,
being a "democratic" campus and all.
EMPLOYMENT
for
Advertising Assistants x 3
Lot's Wife
Pay on commision basis
only
10-15 hours per week
Period of employment
22 weeks
{late May to Mid October)
Applications to be lodged with
SALLY WILLOX
Manager Resources Group
No later than Monday, May 11th 1992
INTERVIEWS WILL BE CONDUCTED
Monday, May 18th 1992
27th April, 1992.
1F O O T Y
TIPPING
1
^
^
n^OHfff
'^
>
Red instead.
'&:-'','y/
MvXi
JENNY
TIPS
M
DRAW
I
^ik CekSritylips ^^
ikik fKpundr ikik
Stephen Tumbull
Ian Wisel
Competition Organiser (14)
Hawthorn
Melboume
StKilda
Foolscray
CoUingwood
West Coast
Geelong
Competition Organiser (12)
Hawthorn
Melboume
Adelaide
Footscray
CoUingwood
West Coast
Geelong
Mai Logan
Kerry Barker
Vice-chancellor (15)
Hawthcmi
Melboume
Adelaide
Footsaay
CoUingwood
West Coast
(jeelong
Chairperson M.A.S (18)
Hawthorn
Melboume
StKilda
Carlton
CoUingwood
Hlzroy
Brisbane
Andrew McGregor
Karen Shapiro
Captain Monash Blues (10)
Hawthorn
Melbourne
StKilda
Footscray
CoUingwood
The Editors (17)
Hawthorn
Sydney
StKilda
Footscray
CoUingwood
West Coast
Geelong
West Coast
Geelong
Jenny Smyth
Geroge Bush
Mystery Tipper (24)
Hawthorn
Sydney
StKilda
Footscray
CoUingwood
Fitzroy
Geelong
The President (31)
Richmond
Melboume
Adelaide
Foolscray
CoUingwood
Fitzroy
Brisbane
This week's mystery tipper is Jenny Smyth. Jenny, a keen
Essendon supporter, was the only person who tipped a draw
between Brisbane and West Coast.
She has now
sky-rocketted into flrst place, and is four points clear of
everyone else.
Ar\rjl rnOr^
statistics
..
Faculty Averages
Deans Scores (to round 5)
Sdence
14.01
Law 13.94
Engineering 13.93
No Faculty 13.91
Economics 13.91
Medidne
13.84
Arts 13.81
Education
1357
Computing 13.46
Robert Pargetter (Arts)
Robert Porter (Medidne)
Gus Sindiar (Economics)
Bob Williams (Law)
Ian Rae (Science)
Peter DarvaU (Engineering
Cliff Bellamy (Computtng)
Home teams: 15
Guts. That's the only way to
describe Jenny Smyth's tip of
the Bribane-West Coast
d r a w . She followed h e r
instincts, and it paid off in a
big way. In a season plagued
with upsets, Jenny has once
again shown that the girls
are better tippers than their
male ccninterparts.
able to t i p all m a t c h e s
correctly. 'This means that
there will be $60 to be won for
round 6,
The $90 jackpot for round 3
was won by Ben Krasnostein,
Kynan Eng, Paul Maloney,
J o n a t h o n Ho. They each
receive $22.50 for correctly
tipping all seven matches for
that round. Tony Grguric
moved into the lead in roimd
4 after being the only person
to tip all seven m a t c h e s
correctly. He collected the
$30 for rotmd 4. Round 5
provided us with a n o t h e r
round in which nobody was
Be sure to listen to the footy
tipping show on 3MU a t 1:00
every Thursday. TTiis show,
hosted by Stephen Ttimbull,
will provide updates on the
c o m p e t i t i o n , as well as
previews of the next week's
matches.
17
15
15
14
14
12
11
62
t4 $mnf Smyth
f^nxm^
A r e m i n d e r to all p r i z e
winners that they should
come to the Lot's Wife office
Tuesday or Thursday at 3:30
to collect prize money.
"••'Cllk<! '
, SlK^teyTtobuJl
;. ly&KmSheehaii
Note: Round 8 tip slips
c a n b e cut out of edition 2
of the Tipster's Gazette,
which will be in Daily
N e w s holders from May 4.
tvMmKXi
IfflL.
^vmldtfBKSt
IJ*™f»«(fe»ffc
Oaw"''*^*
P«v-
Da^
Deajt •»*i«u
Each w e e k , tip slips a r e s u b m i t t e d
EvimWseiw
JwonHmd
without n a m e or id number. Some are
even submitted missing both n a m e and
id n u m b e r , (making identification
impossible). But David R e d m a n in
r o u n d 4, and Stuart Menzies in r o u n d 5,
M»
Ma.
o u t did themselves by submitting tip
MtiTK .am \
slips with n a m e a n d id number, b u t witii
MatihewA
MetitsiW.
n o tips at all !! Are the matches too
S> MidvaelB'tough to pick 7?????
I % UvimaOi
f Mitl»4»(.i
I MuiaiBty
I NfcltBo*^*
? PiulBtmif
WHO YOU
TIPPED
Haw 1423
North 429
Carl 1425
Bris 772
Adel 619
Melb 192
Fitz 159
Ess
Foot
Syd
WCE
Rich
Coll
StK
supporter Averages
•
TOP
Footscray
South Melboume
Melboume
CoUingwood
Rtzroy
Richmond
StKilda
Essendon
Hawthorn
Geelong
West Ctoast
Neutral
Sydney
Brisbane
Carlton
North Melbourne
Adelaide
15J06
14.75
14.10
14.03
13.97
13.83
13.79
13.75
13.63
13.62
13.61
13.60
13.48
1358
13.35
13.30
13.15
Conservative tips: 14 Random tips: 19
73
1054
70
731
880
12%
1340
Draw 8
Draw 21
Draw 9
Draw 1
Draw 5
Draw 16
Draw 5
OXVOte
T
I I Hawthorn
vs Q Richmond
Draw
I
^ ^ H I tH
[^ Melboume
vs Q^ Sydney
Draw Q^
I
I
KJjM
QQ
Q St Kilda
vs Q Adelaide
Draw [ J
•
Q^
1 ^ Footscray
vs Q | Carlton
Draw F"]
I
'
L
B B I EH
^ ^ ^
B ^ i
^ ^ ^ H
^ m ^
[^
Q CoUingwood vs Q ] North Melb. Draw Q ]
'
j
^
1 ^ Fitzroy
vs Q^ West Coast
Draw r~\
Q
\~J Brisbane
vs Q Geelong
Draw | |
t3
O
NAME
ID NO
K
Only one tick per match. Place in a tip box or send to Lot's Wife
•
ofnce. Please write legibly. No slips at:cepted after 5:30 Friday.
I
32
SPORT
Saints ^ j[}D®aDDcd]
none). Several ot them stood
behind me, and I couldn't bear to
turn around, wondering if they
could possibly ejaculate
anymore. To them a guy called
Tony Lockett was simply the
greatest figure in the universe's
known history. Not that Julius
Caesar, Napoleon and Genghis
Khan were losers, but heh, who
could deny a big country boy
whose nickname makes him "•
sound as if lives at the t>ottom of
a bath, just to keep the water in.
Yes, "Plugger was greeted with
dizzy screams of delight Not to
mention Loewe.
A
Last Saturday, well 3
yf^
Saturdays ago by the
K^
time you read It, I
wrapped my Hawthorn scarf
around my throat and
Journeyed to Moorabbin to
see what all the fuss was
about It.
As we approached the
ground, it seemed as if it were
hosting a VFA fixture- the
suburban streets, the local folk
tallying atxjut big men whose
names began with T, and the
fresh, open air. No monstrous
concrete formations at every
turn. No mile-high light-towers
numbered 1-12, and no infinitely
stretching car-parks which most
cars usually get bogged in
anyway. No, Moorabbin's
different. There were no seats in
the outer, just gravel. The
canteens were little portable
constructions near the wire
which marked off the ground's
boundary from the public. In
them, little old ladies clumsily
charged $1.60 for a can of soft
drink among other exorbitantly
priced fast foods. Overall, the
atmosphere was pleasant. Or at
least until you heard the
supporters.
For that quarter, the entire
side was godly. The supporters,
though, were not satisfied. After
the breaK they were yelled at to
"Pile 'em on", "Don't let up" and
finally "Kill". By this time, the
Hawthorn side had all been
labelled compromisingly, and the
umpires seemed as if it was they
who Hitler received orders from.
Being a humbly spoilt and,
therefore, objective, true-brown
Hawthorn man, I have come
across some pretty bad bunches
in my time. I've sat in the
Collingwood cheer squad in a
game they lost by 2 points. I've
sat in a bus that afternoon, full
of them, and which consequently
had to detour 3 or 4 kilometres
to deposit half of them at the
Clayton Cop-Shop. I've also sat
in a suF)erbox next to a group of
mobile-phone-clad Carlton
professioneils, and none of them
even approached these satanic
saints.
The first quarter for them was
something special (8 goals to
When Hawthorn began to
come back, a transformation
overcame our saintly masters.
Suddenly, It was the St.Kilda
players who had become
satanic. Despite still being 6
goals ahead, St.Kilda was
"Fucking useless", "Shitass" as
well as "Not very good at all".
Also, one could be forgiven for
thinking that the Hawthorn team
didn't actually touch the ball, but
were merely given 7,406 free
kicks, whenever any player
came within a 50-metre radius of
the t}ail. These guys would have
seriously described Mother
Theresa as a selfish,
goal-hungry poof who should go
back to advertising bread with
the rest of them. Only the
awesome "Plugger" escaped
being a scapegoat.
At 3/4 time, right in front of
us, if it wasn't a smelly enough
venue as it was, a police-horse
HteECDD S
UA
S S
TT
I E
nL
A
n
defecated on
the half-fonweird
flank. The start of
the last quarter
was delayed and thos?
around us swayed to the slo^
chants of "Horse-Shit...HorseShit." The game restarted, and
Hawthorn kept edging closer.
Each of their goals was greeted
with disgust and self-directed
death-threats. But finally, and
'rightly so'. It was "Plugger" who
revived these fanatic's futures. His
final goal clinched the game and
transfonned the tense crowd into a
frenzied mass of celetvation. As the
siren sounded, the crowd rose as one
arms upraised and faces jubilant.
Behind these faces you could see the
After four editions of Lot's Wife,
and countless hours of grovelling,
scrounging and pleading for
articles, we are starting to wonder
whether any Monash students are
interested In spori at all.
What's the problem with you
people? You sit around all year
complaining that Lot's Wite is full of
political stuff you couklnt give two
shits about, but when we ask you
for articles, the silence is deafeningi
Is this Uni full of scrabble-playing
computer-headed sandwich-eating
dweebs?
We know there is a lighter, more
refreshing side to this drab
blue-grey mass called Monash.
Lot's Wife knows there are
hundreds of literate, lecturophobic
sportheads bursting at their athletic
seams with Ideas for a good article.
s o WHERE ARE YOU?
FOR SALE —
OmCE EQUIPMENT
automatic and manual
professional instruction
no gimmicks
student discount
overseas licence changeover
defensive driving techniques
Phone: 8871619
Although we lost, it was a
day. There's nothing like
the simple pleasures of
standing at a game,
listening to a group
'of maniacs put their
lives at stake, and
hearing the players
and umpires swear at
k themselves. Keep the
\ Saints at l^oorabbin, if
• for nothing else, the
I experience It offers to
f opposing supporters in
the outer., Call me a
conservative, but footy is
progressing too quickly.
Just when you're getting
used to the Eagles,' they
bring in the Crows...and
Carlton's not spending
the State Budget
on interstate
recruits
anymore
Oh, but there is
one thing which
doesn't change
Hawthorn keep winnini
f l ^ s . And so I put up.
SPORT
CLASSIFIEDS
SlSBttBSB
TRY US -
Bv
Do you need inspiration? Do you
need something to stimulate the
pumps in-your Reeboks and
MlllliOilllliU
•
•
•
•
•
•
underiying scars of oppression, thanks to 5
consecutive wooden spoons, and feel
their uprising.
Sludail Desks $S0. Office Desks
$tW.Comput8f Desks $50,
Studefil Chairs (49.
Phone 632 8026
FORSALE—TV&VCR
Colour TV$180. VCR $200.
Both EC. Phone 532 8559
TO LET —FLAT
Ui))e 1 bedroom Del Unc. pailiing.
Balcony. Newly caipeted. Close B
transport $90 per week.
Phone 534 4834
by Paul Woods
convince you to write us an article?
Well, get this;
(I) Collingwood is the only AFL
team with real depth.
Dougie Batwk:k Is a certainty tor
the '92 Brownlow. The Eagles Hah! Just a bunch of road-weary,
suntanned wankers who had a bit of
luck in the draft. Hawthorn wittiout
Tuck is just a few
fashion-conscious side-burned
blouses. Gary Ablett Is NOT a god
He smells. The only good Lockett is
a dead one.
(II) Not only stiould Border quit,
but David "Spoodge" Boon should
be dropped until he reaches a goal
weight of 9 stone. Australian cricket
has lost its shine. Richard Hadlee is
a good btoke.
(III) The Monash Sports and
Rec. centre is a waste of lime.
Who'd use it, anyway?
(Iv) I heard a nimour that
Monash sporting dubs only win
games by spiking the other team's
oranges with Tiger Balm.
(V) Rowing, sailing, fishing,
chess, badminton, skiing,
windsurfing, bushwalking,
skydiving, aerobics, tennis, golf,
swimming, athletics, basketball,
soccer, hockey and abseiling are all
stupid sports that no-one cares
atiout EVER and shoukJ never have
been invented.
Come-on sportos! Get stuck Into
that lot. We want your articles.
Oh.and by the way, roller bladers
need not apply...*
m