PAST_ISSUES_files/ION FINAL August 97 web

Transcription

August 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 1
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WWW.IONAZ.COM August 2009
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THE LEATHERMEN
Photos submitted by Brian Collins
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August 2009
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August 2009
Marriage
Children and Freedom
As Gays and Lesbians, we cannot marry our
partners (though some politicians fear that
we want to marry goats). We cannot typically
have children (no matter how hard we try).
We’re still considered social outcasts by
many (try PDA on the West Side). Sounds
pretty bleak doesn’t it? Quite the contrary.
We experience companionship, parenthood,
and freedom like no heterosexual can. Our
lives are more flexible, more fun and more
free.
MARRIAGE
Fortunately, we don’t encounter society’s
pressure to marry a same-sex partner. Of
course, it would be nice to have the option
but even when that day comes, we won’t
feel the same pressure. Today, you can
enter into — and out of — a committed
relationship without the Church, the state,
or lawyers’ involvement. Or not. It’s your
choice.
CHILDREN
While we can’t conceive children naturally,
many of us choose to be parents to a more
loyal, loving and caring family members
— our pets. That’s why we are creating
our first annual “Pets and the City” issue
featuring members of our community and
their “children” — their pets. These family
members are treated like royalty and we
are sometimes closer to them than our own
family and friends. You can choose to have
pets. Or not. It’s your choice.
FREEDOM
Our first Splash Bash was in 2002. It started
as our 1st Anniversary party. Who doesn’t
like to celebrate your baby’s birthday? It was
our first celebration and I learned a lot. In
fact, there was a “straight” wedding at the
hotel when Splash Bash ended. There were
happy, wet party goers, some in small sexy
bathing suits leaving as heterosexuals in
tuxedos and suits entered the hotel. I can’t
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think of a more awkward moment. Well, I
can but that’s reserved for a future column.
It was then we decided to take over the
entire hotel — all 100+ rooms. Since 2003
we have opened up a hotel to the entire
GLBT community and their allies for a huge
event like no other. We’ve moved Splash
Bash back to its original home: the Radisson
Phoenix City Center. Their staff and
management have been very generous and
supportive in our quest for a safe, fun and
memorable experience without judgment
from outsiders. Bring on the PDA! Or not. It’s
your choice.
The Coors Light Splash Bash 9 this
Labor Day weekend will be like no other.
Hosted by VH1’s Brooke Knows Best co-star
Glenn Douglas Packard who’s bringing his
partner, Daniel Miagany. Splash Bash will
help benefit 1N10 Youth Group. Plus, we
have a lot of surprises that I can’t mention
yet but if you come, you’ll have a great time.
In order to get more people to experience
the fun, we’re offering free tickets and
discount room rates. The Adult Shoppe is
giving away FREE tickets (while supplies
last with a $20 purchase or more). Off Chute
Too, Root Seller Gallery, Unique on Central
and ionaz.com are all selling $10 discount
tickets until Friday, September 4th. Low
room reservations are now available at
ionaz.com. We usually sell about 100 rooms
so after the party ends, the fun continues.
There’s nothing like it in Arizona!
So be in a committed relationship as if you
were married. Or not. Raise pets like they
were your children. Or not. Come out and
celebrate freedom at Splash Bash 9. Or not.
Wait, scratch that last one.
Enjoy your freedom. Celebrate with us!
Jack Tesorero
Publisher
ION ARIZONA CENTER
3819 North 3rd Street Ste. #10, Phoenix, AZ 85012
(602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939
www.IONAZ.com
ionarizona@me.com
PUBLISHER
Jack M. Tesorero ....................... jacktesorero@me.com
CREATIVE DIRECTOR
Kevin Bushaw - Ext. 4 ..................... kbushaw@me.com
EDITOR AND CONTENT CZAR
Deon Brown - Ext 2 ................... ionazeditor@me.com
PRODUCTION ASSISTANT
Craig Rubin ................................. ionarizona@me.com
PRODUCTION & ARTWORK
ionazproduction@me.com
ADVERTISING SALES
Jorge Suarez, Ext 1 ..................... ionazsales@me.com
PHOTOGRAPHERS:
Jerry O’Conner
Don Thompson
NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE
Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863
CONTRIBUTORS:
Corey Blanchette
Wes Bergman
Addison DeWitt
Jackson David Kelly
Ted Kirby
David Alan Maxey
Kim Ruff
Paul Sanchez
TO GROW YOUR BUSINESS,
CALL (602) 308-4662.
Published monthly by
© 2009 Tesorero Omni Media
a JMT Designs, Inc. company
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
PRINTED IN THE USA
All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine
remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.
NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its
parent company.
Publication of the name or photograph of any person or
organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as
any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or
organization. To our knowledge, all people photographed
and published in ION Arizona are over the age of 18. Some
photos were submitted by our readers. To our knowledge,
they own the copyrights, and they have given us permission to
reproduce them. If you see a picture that you own, please call
us immediately and we will remove it from future publications.
All copy, text, display, photos, and illustrations in the ads are
published with the understanding that the advertisers are
fully authorized, have secured proper written consent for the
use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any living person,
and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful use of
such content.
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APOLLO’S
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The Jungle Party
Apollo’s Amateur Strip-Off
C’mon down for some bungle in the jungle! Celebrate the
official end of summer at Amsterdam at the Jungle Party on
Saturday, August 22. Enjoy $4 Bacardi Mojito cocktails and
try your hand at Big Game Hunting! They’ll have giveaways,
contests and prizes. See you there at 718 N. Central Ave.
Phone: 602-258-6122. See ad on page 11
Go right around the corner from Mt. Olympus, on
the left, to Apollo’s. Each Sunday, August 2, 9, 16 &
23 boys can compete for a cash prize, and compete in the Finale on August 30. So break out the ol’
banana hammock, put on some disco music and start
stripping, boys! See you at 5749 N. 7th St. Phone: 602277-9373 or visit www.apollos.com See ad on page 24
Club Papi Party
¡Que rico! Andale pronto over to Forbidden when Club
Papi comes to town on Friday, August 4! Hosted by Lola, they’ll
celebrate the Fey National Gay Club Tour. And don’t forget the world
famous Club Papi dancers. Sign up for the VIP Meet & Greet Package at www.IwantTickets.com/clubpapi and we’ll see you at
6850 E. 5th Ave. in Scottsdale. See the ad on page 3
Kenny Thames Benefit
Our community’s tireless entertainer, Kenny Thames, is facing a health crisis
and needs some help. That’s why there’s a fundraiser with an evening of music, song, laughter and a whole lotta love at Kobalt Bar on Saturday, August 8.
Help out! Come to Park Central Mall at 3110 N. Central. Phone: 602-264-5307.
www.kobaltbar.com
Roscoe’s Beach Party
What could be more fun than playing Beach Blanket with
the gang at Roscoe’s? Celebrate their lucky 13th Anniversary August 14-16. They’ll have great drink specials
all weekend, a Hawaiian buffet on Saturday, a sexy wet
bathing suit contest, a trip to San Diego for two lucky beach
bums, prizes, giveaways and more! 4531 N. 7th St. Phone:
602-285-0833. Visit www.roscoeson7.com for more! See the
ad on pages 17 &18
Karamba’s 5th Anniversary
Join the fiesta at Karamba as they celebrate their 5th anniversary
on Saturday, August 22. There’s a very special tribute to Michael
Jackson with Carlo Riley and giveaways! You’ll see lots of other
events and parties at Karamba listed on page 12. 1724 E. McDowell Rd. Phone: 602-254-0231
PornoPalooza
Hurry! Hurry! Step right up! See your favorite XXX Blue
Movie stars in the — ahem — “flesh” for a hot, raw weekend! There’ll be drink specials, XXX movie giveaways, go
go dancers, Chi Chi Larue and more! Sat. August 22 at
Woody’s in Tucson, and Sun. August 23 at BS West. See
the ad on page 8 for details.
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Splash Bash 9
Put on the suntan oil and your sunglasses! Yes, it’s another
Splash Bash at the Radisson City Center at 3600 N. Osborn Rd. There’s music with the top DJ Sister Sin, games,
contests and best of all: our party host — the supersexy,
talented, out & proud Glenn Douglas Packard from VH1’s
hit show Brooke Knows Best. He might even bring his hot
boyfriend, Daniel Miagany, too. See ad on pages 4 & 5
AUGUST 2009 ION EVENTS LISTINGS
DATE
EVENT & LOCATION
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bilatinmen.com Underwear Contest at Karamaba Nightclub Phoenix
CITY
8
Kenny Thames benefit Musical Revue at Kobalt
Phoenix
14-15
White Party Weekend - Dick’s II
Phoenix
14 - 16
Roscoe’s Beach Party Weekend 13th Anniversary Party
Phoenix
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Scandalesque at Cherry Lounge
Tempe
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End of Summer Bash Weekend - Dick’s Cabaret
Tempe
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Jungle Party - Amsterdam
Phoenix
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Porno Palooza - Woody’s
Tucson
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Porno Palooza - BS West
Scottsdale
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Patio Grand Opening Party at Bar1
Phoenix
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DJ Chris Adams at Forbidden
Scottsdale
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Amateur Strip Show Finale at Apollo’s
Phoenix
9/4
Club Papi Party at Forbidden
Scottsdale
9/5
Red Hot Salvation - The Second Coming at Forbidden
Scottsdale
9/5
Splash Bash at The Radisson City Center
Phoenix
DRAG WARS
Photos submitted by BS West
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WWW.IONAZ.COM
August 2009
Jonas
Brothers
Tween idols and pop music darlings, Disney Channel
creations Kevin, Joe and Nick Jonas will bring their shaggy hair
and skinny little virgin butts to the Jobing.com Arena to the
delight of teenyboppers and chicken hawks everywhere!
Catch their 3-dreamy concert experience on Tuesday,
August 11. Have mom ‘n’ dad drive you to 9400 W. Maryland Ave. and use
their credit card for tix at www.TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000
Depeche Mode
Probably the only synth-pop band to emerge unscathed from most
of the beloved if long forgotten bands of the 80’s, Depeche Mode
comes down the old Route 66 to the Dodge Theatre to prove that
Everything Counts. After all, People are People! Sunday, August 23.
400 W. Washington. Tix: www.LiveNation.com or
602-379-2888
Incubus
Fusing together hard rock, metal, funk and pop melodies,
Incubus conquered the airwaves that won over both
modern rock and mainstream audiences -- with no help
from MTV. See them rock at at the Jobing.com Arena on
Tuesday, August 25. 9400 W. Maryland Ave. Get your tix
at www.TicketMaster.com or call 800-745-3000
AUGUST 2009 ION CONCERT CALENDAR
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DATE
ARTIST/EVENT
LOCATION
1
5
7
8
11
12
12
13
14
18
21
22
23
25
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Hippiefest
Diana Krall
Judas Priest
En Vogue & Bell Biv Devoe
Jonas Brothers
Lil’ Wayne, Young Jeezy
Heaven and Hell
Lyle Lovett
Toby Keith
Daughtry
The Cult
Green Day
Depeche Mode
Incubus
Def Leppard, Poison & Cheap Trick
Celebrity Theatre
Dodge Theatre
Dodge Theatre
Celebrity Theatre
Jobing.com Arena
Cricket Wireless Pavilion
Dodge Theatre
Dodge Theatre
Marquee Theatre
Celebrity Theatre
US Airways Center
US Airways Center
Jobing.com Arena
A
fter a 4 year hiatus, Fey is back with
not one, but two albums, which includes an
album in English. This talented Mexicana is
famous for hit tracks such as Muevelo and
Azucar Amargo and those are just to name
a few. Fey fanatics will soon get their chance
to see her up close and personal as she’s
slated to do a number of shows with Club
Papi at the end of August. The sexy Latina
set aside some time and chatted with us
about her hit new album and what she really
thinks about her gay fans.
Congratulations on the success of your
current album. How does it feel?
Thanks, Victor. Imagine the emotion I feel,
so spoiled, so loved and accepted by the
ones that mean most to me, which are my
heartfelt fans that have been with me for the
past 15 years. I really hope they will enjoy
and love the new material. It feels amazing to
be supported by my fans once again.
By Victor Barreiro
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Tell me something about you that people
would be surprised to find out.
Wow. Oh my, God. I sleep completely nude.
Laughs. No, actually I sleep with high heels
that never come off. Laughs. We all have
something about ourselves that can surprise
people.
Of all the hit singles you have, is there
one you really enjoy performing?
Azucar Amargo from the album Tierna la
Noche is at the top of my list. Each time I
sing it, I still feel the way I felt when I first
heard the song. It really represents who I am
as a person. I will never get tired of singing it.
You also have an album coming out in
English. Tell me about it.
What would you like to say to your gay
fans?
Sweet Temptation will be available through
the internet at first, just like the album in
Spanish, but you can get your hands on it
very soon.
I am very fortunate that people with that level
of passion, with so much appreciation and
determination, love my work. They are very
brave and have continued to be that way for
so many years. I feel very blessed be a part
of their lives. It truly is an honor for me to
support them.
I recently saw you perform in front of
thousands for gay pride in San Francisco
on the Latino stage.
FEY
Returns to
the Mic
I ask that all my fans come and wish me
good luck with their presence when I team
up with Club Papi at the end of August for a
number of shows. I need their blessing! I’ll
perform music from the new album, songs
that we’ve sang and cried to and not to
mention Muevelo and Azucar Amargo. My
other tour begins later this year.
The experience has been another that will
have a place in my heart forever. There are
certain instances where I can look back and
enjoy my performances as an artist. I feel this
connection with the Latino gay community on
so many levels. It is times like that you never
forget and that is exactly what happens to me
at gay pride events. I feel free when I am with
them. It really was a beautiful experience.
Every year the crowds get bigger, which
creates a lot of energy.
You’re getting ready for a tour with Club
Papi as well as your own tour later this
year. What can we expect?
For a list of Fey’s performance dates, please
log on to clubpapi.com
FEY will be
performing LIVE
at the
CLUB PAPI
Party at
September 4th
Written by Jackson David Kelly
davekjackson@cox.net
Yo, DJ!
What’s New?
Though album releases will be light in
August, in addition to these great offerings,
find new material from Third Eye Blind,
Modest Mouse, Lil Wayne (tentative), Reba
McEntire as well as Mariah Carey’s Memoirs
on the 25th.
Imogen Heap
Ellipse (8/25)
After spending a year in
post production/writing,
Imogen’s third album
finally sees the light
of day. Full of worldly
sounds, eccentric
instruments and Imogen’s
classic, breathy vocals, Ellipse continues the
feel of “Speak for Yourself.” Lead single “First
Train Home” gives the perfect introduction
with its commercial, catchy, bubbly sound
while tracks “A-ha” and “Bad Body Double”
take a sharp turn to the right with their
harsher, off the wall feel. However, it’s “Little
Bird’s” modern day lullaby and “Tidal’s”
beautiful emotive resonance that bring this
collection to full greatness.
Anjulie Anjulie (8/4)
MySpace phenomenon
Anjulie is ready to prove
why Rolling Stone calls
her the one to watch in
2009. A three track EP
was available last year
to great applause and
her first full length will continue that roar.
Part Nelly Furtado, MIA, Lily Allen and
Winehouse, this artist soars with a 60s vibe.
Though lead single “Boom” is a bit trite
(except for the remixes), the track “Heat”
slithers with a Beyoncé-esque vibe while
“Day Will Soon Come” gives good soul with a
sound reminiscent of Mariah’s best. And then
there’s “Love Songs;” a sleek, heart warming
joyous ditty sure to please.
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Mutemath
Armistice (8/18)
On their second album,
Mutemath takes a 180
degree turn. While their
debut was more piano
driven, this album rocks
with amped up steroids
and showcases a Muse/
U2 edge. Lead single “Spotlight” is one of
the best rock singles to come out this year
while “Nerve” is a drum infused track that
sounds right out of the 70s. Other songs of
note include “Clipping” and “Burden.” Less
melodic, more classic with a darker raw edge
is the best way to sum up this album.
Michael Jackson
Dangerous
It’s been one month since
his passing and a month
that is still void (yes I
teared with his passing).
So in honor, I offer my
favorite MJ album and my
18th favorite record of all
time. Not only does it contain the perfect pop
tunes of “Black & White” and “Remember
the Time” but it houses two of his most
riveting ballads, “Heal the World” and “Will
You Be There.” And what sets this release
apart is the creativity he takes with “In the
Closet,” “Why You Wanna Trip” and my
album favorite “Who is it.” Music will never
be the same without this pioneer, genius and
entertainer.
In other music news, Madonna’s greatest
hits and last album for WB is set for 09/25.
Though exact packaging and track listing
cannot be revealed, it is confirmed that two
new songs will be included; “Broken” and
“Celebrate.” There have been rumors of
additional Oakenfold, Mirwais and Lil’ Wayne
(Revolver) tracks as well, but as this album
will already be packed, expect those to be
shelved. Until next month…
WOODY’S - TUCSON
WETT PARTY
See the new Men of Forbidden
Review Friday nights starting
August 14th.
Photos submitted by Richard Bolinski
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Special Advertising Section
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1 VOICE COMMUNITY CENTER
80S BOWLATHON
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by Kimberly M. Ruff
kimberlymruff@yahoo.com
Movie Previews
Cold Souls
Starring: Paul Giamatti, David Straithairn,
Emily Watson
The first feature length film of writer/director,
Sophie Barthes, Cold Souls is a tragicomic
critique on American consumerism. Paul
Giamatti (Sideways) plays – literally
– himself: a middle-aged actor overwhelmed
by his latest role that seeks to ease his
suffering by off-loading his soul (again
– literally). Seeing an ad in the paper, he
makes an appointment with a soul storage
firm. At first delighted by the “lightness,” he
soon realizes how utterly empty, emotionless, and left-of-center he is now sans soul.
He wants it back, but it’s gone. Now he must
follow his black market mule all the way to
St. Petersburg to reclaim the better part of
himself. While the film has the off-beat appeal
that typifies hyper-analytical and über-artsy
indie film, it smacks too much of a Michel
Gondry/Charlie Kaufman partnership, most
specifically: Eternal Sunshine
of the Spotless Mind.
Furthermore, without
even having seen the
movie, I already know
precisely the point
Barthes is trying to
make: if you’re going
to be indie, you need to
avoid over-exposing your
audience to the underlying
meaning. That being said, I love
Giamatti’s sad sackness so much, I will still
see the film and you should, too. Release
Date: 08/07/09.
Inglourious Basterds
Starring: Brad Pitt, Eli Roth,
Nastassja Kinski
Quentin Tarantino is back doing his
Tarantino-thing, which means a lot of action,
violence, cursing – in short, using special
effects to perfect what Sam Peckinpah (The
Wild Bunch) started. His latest, Inglourious
Basterds, is no exception. Brad Pitt stars as
Lt. Aldo Raine, the head
of a group of JewishAmerican soldiers
who scalp and
murder Nazis in
an effort to spread
fear through the
Nazi army. While
no doubt the film
is highly cathartic
(I can’t imagine many
souls would actively root for the Nazis), the
violence is always overwhelming and often
seems gratuitous. But, if you like Tarantino
– and he is an acquired taste – you will most
likely enjoy Inglourious Basterds. Release
Date: 08/21/09
Funny People
Starring: Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen,
Leslie Mann
The third film directed by wunderkind, Judd
Apatow (Knocked Up, 40 Year-Old Virgin),
Funny People stars Adam Sandler as the
well-known comedian George Simmons,
who learns he has a terminal illness and
must make the necessary arrangements in
preparation for his impending death. Along
with him on this journey is the aspiringcomedian Ira (Rogen), who writes jokes
for Simmons and eventually becomes his
closest friend, as well as “the girl that got
away,” Laura (Mann). Just when Simmons
– and the audience – think they have it all
figured out, fate takes a funny twist and gives
him a second lease on life. Now it’s
up to him to set right what
hadn’t been for years and
to truly seize the day.
Like Apatow’s two
previous films,
Funny People is
delightfully witty
and deliciously
rich. Release
Date:
07/31/09.
by Wes Bergman
wesobergman@yahoo.com
DVD Movie Review
Newcastle (2007)
Starring: Lachlan Buchanan, Reshad Strik,
Xavier Samuel
Win a 17 Again DVD from ION Arizona!
The feature-length directorial
debut of Dan Castle,
Newcastle, is a comingof-age tale focused
on Jesse Hoff
(Buchanan), the
17-year-old younger
brother of a former
surfing champion.
Living in the shadow
of his brother, Victor’s
(Strik), now lost glory,
Jesse struggles to
find his own potential.
Is he the second coming
of Victor, or is he his own
person? Can he transcend his bluecollar background and achieve fame, or is he
destined for something humbler? Set over
the course of a booze-soaked weekend on
the beach, Jesse finds the answers to these
questions and so much more.
The item of interest for you, as viewers, is
less Jesse’s angst-ridden tale of coming
to grips with his potential than it is his twin
brother, Fergus’ (Samuel) angst-ridden tale
of coming to grips with his sexuality. While
Jesse frets over how he stacks up compared
to his older brother, Fergus frets how he
stacks up to, well, pretty much everyone.
Potentially the only Goth in Newcastle, he
sticks out like sore thumb amongst his
brothers and their friends, all the while
unsure of himself. If you love sand,
surf, gratuitous nudity (talk about
oxymoron!), and periods of self-doubt,
check it out!
Another first feature-length film this time
directed by Chris Mason, The New Twenty,
looks at a close-knit group of friends that
have known each other since college and
are now facing an existential crisis in
the midst of turning thirty. Set in
New York in 2006, the action
kicks off with engagement
announcement of the
group’s token female, Julie
(Bilderback), and alpha
male, Andrew (Locke).
The joy doesn’t last
long, however, when the
group is infiltrated by the
fast-talking, tricky dick,
Louie (Serpicho), who
offers a tempting business
proposition to Andrew and
leads him down the path to selfdestruction. In the midst of Andrew’s
burgeoning turmoil, other issues come to
light, including the covert-homosexuality of
Ben (Colin Fickes), Tony’s (Andrew Wei
Lin) laissez-faire attitude towards sex and
drugs, and Felix’s (Thomas Sadoski) desire
for something more stable. Will the friends
grow into their thirties or is it really the “new
twenty” with the same grasping
for identity and
answers?
The New Twenty
(2009)
Starring: Ryan Locke, Nicole
Bilderback, Terry Serpicho
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AUGUST
MOVIE OPENINGS
DATE
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7
7
7
7
7
7
7
14
14
14
14
14
14
14
14
21
21
21
21
21
21
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50
MOVIE
GENRE
G.I. Jose: The Rise of Cobra
Julie & Julia
A Perfect Getaway
Shorts
When in Rome
Paper Heart (limited release)
Beeswax
Cold Souls (see review) Dramedy
The Goods: Live Hard * Sell Hard
Bandslam
District 9
The Time Traveler’s Wife
It Might Get Loud
Ponyo
I Sell the Dead
Spread
Post Grad
Five Minutes of Heaven
My One and Only
X Games 3D: The Movie
The Marc Pease Experiment
Inglourious Basterds (see review)
The Final Destination
H2 (Halloween 2)
Open Road
Action
PG-13
Comedy
PG-13
Action/Thriller
R
Fantasy/Comedy
PG
Comedy/Romance NYR
Comedy
PG-13
Dramedy
NYR
PG-13
Comedy
R
Dramedy
NYR
SciFi/Action
R
Drama/Romance PG-13
Documentary
PG
Animation
G
Comedy/Horror
NYR
Comedy
NYR
Comedy
PG-13
Crime/Drama
NYR
Comedy
PG-13
Sport/Documentary
NYR
Comedy
PG-13
War/Drama
R
Horror/Thriller
R
Horror
NYR
Drama
PG-13
RATING
July 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 51
CHARLIE’S
MORE PICTURES AT IONA Z.COM
Photos submitted by Richard Bolinski
52
WWW.IONAZ.COM
August 2009
drag shows
The Follies Comedy Drag Show
If you think men in ladies’ clothing and lipstick are funny, just wait’ll
you see icepics and Pandora Productions’ The Follies every Saturday
night at 10 p.m. The high-heeled hilarity starts on August 8th. 3108 E.
McDowell Rd. 602-267-8707 www.icepicsvideobar.com
Phoenix Gay Pride Bar Pageants
The competition heats up for the rhinestone-hungry drag queens and the salamipackin’ drag kings battle it out for bragging rights to represent their bar for The Big One. Look
for your favorite bar’s preliminaries starting this month and lasting into October. Check the
ION Arizona Drag Show Listing each month for dates and times.
OZ Cabaret Grand Opening
Come see the one, the only Miss Barbra Seville with her razor
sharp wit in her new Saturday night show at the Grand Opening of
OZ Cabaret at Forbidden starting on August 22. Come to Forbidden at 6820 E. 5th Ave. Scottsdale. Phone: 480-994-5176.
www.ForbiddenAZ.com/oz
AUGUST 2009 ION DRAG LISTINGS
DATE
TIME
LOCATION
SHOW / PERFORMER(S)
Wed. the 12
8:30pm
Charlies
Mister & Miss Charlie’s
Fri. the 21
8:00pm
BS West
Miss BS West “Cheveux Fantasie”
1st & 3rd Tues.
10:00p
BS West
Tranny Shack Tuesday with Kiki Vermont & Saellah V.
2nd & 4th Tues.
10:00p
BS West
Mya & Naomi
Tuesdays
10:30p
Karamba
Susana’s Show
3rd Wednesday
10:30p
Pumphouse II
Amateur Drag Contest hosted by Savannah
Wednesdays
10:00p
Charlie’s
Claudia B. & Company
Wednesdays
9:30p
Wild Card
Divas w/ Kiki Vermont & Friends
Wednesdays
10:30p
Karamba
Diamond Dallas Hosts...
3rd Thurs.
8:00p
Forbidden
Ruby ‘n’ Friends
2nd & 4th Thurs. 9:00p
Wild Card
Drag B-I-N-G-O w/ Angel Rogers
First Thursdays
10:30p
Pumphouse II
Savannah’s School of Scandal
Thursdays
10:30p
Pumphouse II
Hot Bodz Male Revue w/ Savannah
Thursdays
9:00p
Incognito
Divas After Dark with Dianna K. Shane
Thursdays
9:30p
Amsterdam
Icons Live w/ Mya McKenzie & Kiki Vermont
Thursdays
10:30p
Karamba
Susana’s Show
Last Thursday
10:00p
Cherry Lounge
Scandalous w/ Scandalesque
Fridays
9:30p
Forbidden
Fuego Fridays with Miss Ruby
Saturdays
10:00p
icepics
The Follies Comedy Drag Show
Saturdays
10:00p
OZ Cabaret
Barbra Seville (Beginning August 22nd)
Saturdays
9:30p
Charlie’s
Pussy’s Patio Show
Saturdays
10:30p
Pumphouse II
Hot Bodz Male Revue w/ Savannah
Saturdays
10:00p
Wild Card
Diamond Dolls w/ Kiki Vermont & Mya McKenzie
Sundays
8:30p
Charlie’s
Pussy LeHoot & Friends
Sundays
10:30p
Karamba
Galilea’s Show
1st Sunday
8:00p
Apollo’s
That Time of the Month w/ Afeelya Bunz
2nd Sun.
8:00p
Apollo’s
That Time of the Month w/ Dianne Daniels & Miss Dottie
3rd Sun.
8:00p
Apollo’s
That Time of the Month w/ Chané Jordan
Last Sun.
8:00p
Apollo’s
That Time of the Month w/ Barbra Seville
To add your drag event, e-mail dates, times, locations & pics to kbushaw@me.com
Included events must be 1) Charity Benefit OR 2) Located at an ION Arizona Advertiser
54
bare:
a musical
The story of students in a Catholic boarding school struggling to
find their own voices in a modern world that both embraces and
isolates them. These teens confront coming of age, coming out, and
coming to terms with the often contradictory but always high expectations
of parents, peers and the Church. Thru August 9 at Playhouse on the Park at
the VIAD Center. 1850 N. Central. Tix: 602-254-2151
Lisa Lampanelli
No cow is too sacred for Lisa Lampanelli to lampoon. If you’re at
all politically correct or sensitive to any racial, religious or sexual
orientation issues – stay home! But if you love to laugh and think
skewering everyone – including yourself – because of their belief
systems is funny, then head over to the Dodge Theatre on Saturday,
August 15 to see Lisa Lampanelli. She’s @$#&% hilarious!
400 W. Washington. For tickets call 602-379-2888 or
go to www.LiveNation.com
Rent
The seminal rock musical of the 90s tells the story of a group of
impoverished young artists and musicians struggling to survive in
New York’s Lower East Side under the shadow of AIDS. Based on
Puccini’s opera La Bohème, there’s bound to be death. A Nearly
Naked Theatre production, there’s bound to be a penis. Staged
August 15-September 12 at the Little Theatre at Phoenix Theatre,
100 E. McDowell Rd. 602-254-2151
AUGUST 2009 ION THEATER + STANDUP
DATE
thru 2
3
6-9/29
7-8
7-9
7-9/20
7-9/20
7-10/11
thru 9
14-16
15
15-9/12
thru 16
27-30
28-9/13
thru 8/29
56
WWW.IONAZ.COM
January 2009
EVENT
Circue du Soleil
Dry Heat Comedy
Mid-Life!
Greg Proops
Cabaret Series
Forever Plaid
The Taffetas
Fantasticks
Jekyll & Hyde
Chad Miller
Lisa Lampanelli
Rent
Trust Me, I’m a Doctor
Jake Johannsen
Camelot
Beauty & the Beast
LOCATION
Jobing.com Arena
Dodge Theatre
B’way Palms Dinner Theatre
The Comedy Spot - Scottsdale
Theatre Works - Peoria
AZ Broadway Theatre - Peoria
AZ Broadway Theatre - Peoria
Scottsdale Desert Stages Theatre
Scottsdale Desert Stages Theatre
The Comedy Spot - Scottsdale
Dodge Theatre
Nearly Naked Theatre - Phoenix
Copperstate Dinner Theatre - Phx
Tempe Improv
Theatre Works - Peoria
Hale Centre Theatre - Gilbert
PHONE
623-772-3200
602-379-2888
480-325-6700
480-945-4422
623-815-1791
623-776-8400
623-776-8400
480-483-1664
480-483-1664
480-945-4422
602-379-2888
602-254-2151
602-279-3129
480-921-9877
623-815-1791
480-497-1181
Hanny’s 2.0
Updated Menu with Great Atmosphere
Downtown’s hot new restaurant is here. In
1986 after the first incarnation of Hanny’s,
a men’s clothing store, closed after 39
years it was sold to the City of Phoenix and
repeatedly set ablaze for training exercises
by the Phoenix Fire Department. After a quick
trade Hanny’s ended up in the hands of it’s
current owner, Karl Kopp of Scottsdale’s
legendary hotspot AZ88. After a three-year
restoration, cleaning, an installation by
thought provoking artist Janis Leonard and
one significant menu revamp Hanny’s is
ready to catch fire once again.
Hanny’s pizza is thin crisp crust with perfectly
proportioned toppings. All of their cheeses
are imported from Italy. You can start with
any of the varieties and add toppings as
you like. A favorite is the Veggie Pizza with
mushroom, bell pepper, black olives, onion,
Italian three-cheese blend and tomato sauce.
All the veggies are chopped small and
topped liberally. If you’re Vegetarian this is
a great option and satisfying. If you’re the
carnivorous type, try it with Italian sausage.
Price hovers around $12 with toppings at $2
each.
Since it’s rocky opening, the bar and eatery
is improving, and where there’s smoke,
there’s fire. Still! Service has gotten quicker,
the menu broadened and the entertainment
surprises us every time. If you haven’t been
back because of a less-than-robust first
impression, now’s the time to make a second
venture. Edition Two of the menu added
new varieties of every sort of offering on the
menu: pizzas, appetizers, salads, sandwiches
and proper entrée plates.
A new addition to the menu is the Porchetta
Sandwich (pictured below). With roasted
and grilled white marble pork loin served
with fontina cheese, onions, black olives and
sopressata on ciabatta bread, this a complex
and delicious offering that you’re sure to light
up with delight at first try.
The Beet Salad comes with red and gold
beets, arugula, red onion, pistachios, lemon
vinaigrette and choice of gorgonzola or goat
cheese for $8. As long as you like the base
ingredients, you’ll be a fan. It’s well
constructed and tasty.
602-993-4567 phx
520-791-2345 tuc
Get a Date Tonight!
See ad on page 88 (Free code: 4448)
58
The Asparagus with Egg is one
of the big surprises on the
menu. The sunny-side-up egg
over hot asparagus blends
extraordinarily nicely with the
shaved Parmigiano-Reggiano
cheese. The French put
fried eggs on practically
everything. Now we know
why. C’est magnifique!
Appetizers range from $5
– $12.
Another consistently satisfying and tasty
sandwich is the Roast Beef with grilled prime
rib, Nueske’s bacon, arugula and a fried egg
on ciabatta
bread.
Vanilla Ice Cream (pictured); it’s truly
gorgeous with whipped cream concealed
beneath a scoop of ice cream. The crunchy
chocolate cake holds a rich, buttery flavor.
Sandwiches
weigh in
around the $9
mark, give or take.
New plates include the Pork Milanese and
Tuscan Steak. For those who wish to be
simultaneously more and less adventurous
there’s the Pork Milanese. It’s a classic Italian
dish with pounded-thin pork loin, breaded
and deep-fried to a crisp, and topped with
cucumber, radishes and radish sprouts. Both
entrées are served with Hanny’s signature
sides: deep fried onion strings, sliced cherry
tomatoes and potato wedges. These dishes
are $14 and $22, respectively.
Desserts are mostly clever twists on
classic favorites. The best is the Symphony
Chocolate Crisp Cake with Häagen-Dazs
Cocktails, anyone? Regardless of what you
try you’ll be impressed with the quality and
precision of the mix. The St. Germain and
Original Pimm’s Cup are faves. They may
have a reason for their much discussed
petite sizing, but frankly, we long for larger
glasses.
The day’s of Hanny’s as a haberdashery
are long gone, but you can still “tie” one on.
There are no more fires to quench, but we’re
sure Hanny’s is destined to become a blazing
success once more.
Hanny’s
40 N. First St., Phoenix, AZ 85004
(602) 252-2285
www. Hannys.net
Mon-Fri: 11 a.m. to 1:30 a.m.
Sat-Sun: 5:00 pm to 1:30 am
Kitchen cooks until 1a.m. everyday
Are you
our friend?
1300+
Over 1300 friends and
growing. Join the fun!
Go to www.ionaz.com for
a link to our Facebook
and MySpace!
60
VIP
SAVINGS
RESTAURANTS / BARS / EVENTS
FORBIDDEN
BAR 1
ION ARIZONA MAGAZINE
INCOGNITO
WILD CARD
Z PIZZA
$5 Forbidden Martini ANYTIME!
Select Half Price Drinks on Sunday
$10 OFF Splash Bash cover
2 for the price of 1 all drinks
15% OFF Food Purchase
(excludes Happy Hour appetizers)
10% OFF
SERVICES
BOXER’S MEN’S SALON FREE haircut by Adrian only
(First time customers only)
20% OFF all services with Adrian
ENCANTO FAMILY DENTISTRY 10% OFF any dental procedure
(Excludes Zoom! teeth whitening)
FAST SIGNS ON CENTRAL 20% OFF (in-store products)
LOS OLIVOS HAND CAR WASH $2 OFF any car wash
15% OFF complete detail
OPEN WIDE DENTAL $50 OFF new clients
SEMONE ROCHLIN, D.O. $500 OFF ALL Surgical Procedures
RETAIL
DRAGONFLY BOUTIQUE 10% OFF
GREEN WOODPECKER 10% OFF Flowers
(excludes tax and delivery charges)
10% OFF Merchandise non-sale
(excluding food, drinks and cards)
ROOT SELLER 15% OFF Merchandise
(excludes books, music, DVDs,
supplements & consignment art)
UNIQUE URBAN BOUTIQUE 10% OFF Merchandise
(excludes books, music, DVDs)
HOTELS
BLUE MOON RESORT - VEGAS Buy two nights get 3 nights
CLARENDON HOTEL 10% any room type booking
DOUBLETREE HOTEL - TUCSON 10% any room type booking
Must book directly with the hotel.
Certain black-out dates and some restrictions may apply.
Offer based upon availability.
ADULT*
ADULT SHOPPE 20% OFF Merchandise
FASCINATIONS 15% OFF merchandise
DICK’S CABARET $5 OFF admission (mon-thurs)
$5 OFF wristband (mon-sat)
SECRETS 20% OFF Merchandise*
*Must be 18 or older. Excludes rentals.
In-store purchases only
MORE TO COME!!!
62
Some restrictions apply. See store for details.
Not valid with any other offer or sale items.
©2009 COORS BREWING COMPANY
��
Photos - Don Thompson | Words - Deon Brown
Products available at Oliver & Annie
O
ur pets never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself
and keep up the appearance of actually being interested in the conversation. That’s why
we love them. Their unconditional love provides us with a role model for being alive.
But don’t accept your pet’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you’re wonderful; it
gives you something to strive for. This month ION spotlights members of our community and their special pet friends.
This month’s loveable “cover dog,” Roxy,
an Australian Cattle Dog discovered
Felipe and Casey in the town of Sonoita.
Now she lives in Tucson where she is endlessly entertained by her two human pets.
64 August 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM
Money will buy you a dog, but not the wag of his
tail. But for collars, treats, and everything else,
ask Chris. His quality pet supply store on Central
Avenue is named for his pooches. (602) 264-8188
“My little dog. The heartbeat at my feet.” Deon is the
editor for ION magazine. His goal in life is to be as
wonderful as Mabel thinks he is. Wag more. Bark less.
66
¡Ay, ay, ay! This Chihuahua calls the shots around
this house, that’s for sure. Adrian is a genius
with a scissors and comb at Boxer’s Men’s Salon!
“A dog is the only thing on earth that will
love you more than you love yourself.”
But triple threat model/make-up artist/
hair stylist Jessica Joseph and her partner,
68
Courtney Penniman, Founder & CEO of the
Stonewall Institute share even more of
that love with their dog, Dylan.
Thousands of years ago cats were
worshipped as gods. Tigger has
never forgotten this. So Falcon
model Tyler knows his purpose
in life.
July 2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM 69
...met when Logan (12) & Gordon (8) were just puppies. Logan
was a pound puppy, and Gordon was adopted outside his namesake, Gordon Biersch, from a homeless man.
Thommy & Joey are the owners of Open Wide
Dental and live in North Phoenix.
Mighty Pug, Sampson, believes he’s a Goliath. If
you need personalized in-home pet care Virginia
can help! Check out her Desert Dog Pet Care or visit
www.MyDesertDog.com (602) 538-5486
70
If Heaven went by favor only dogs would
get in. Adam is a popular waiter at Maizie’s and Otto owns and operates a horse
ranch. Lucky dogs!
And so are Nadia
and Sydney!
Cat’s are intended to teach us that not everything
in nature has a purpose. Doug
works at American Express
and Robbie can be found
at the University of Advancing Technology. After
13 years together, their
sole function in life now is
to admire and feed Disco and
Blixx. At least that’s what the
cats think. They may be right.
If you start thinking you’re a person of
some influence, try ordering somebody
else’s dog around. But Gary Guerin, the
influential powerhouse behind SWAY
Events’ and his hardworking and devoted team lend their talents to some
of the best and brightest events they
stage for the GLBT community’s
fundraising efforts and everybody’s entertainment. Heck,
Gary even entertains his Jack
Russell Terrier, Sketch. Now
how many people can claim
that?
72
Dogs have more friends than people
because they wag their tails, not
their tongues. But Craig and
Crouton both have
more friends than
you can count. If
you don’t believe it,
check Facebook.
74
PETS AND THE CITY - ADOPT YOUR PET
There are many ways for you to adopt a pet friend.
You can help save our animal friends’ lives and make
them happy when you open up your heart and home.
Mutts, purebreds, retired Greyhounds, rabbits and
other critters are waiting for you and need you. Below
is a list of just a few places you can search to find the
perfect pet friend.
A great clearinghouse is Adopt-A-Pet. Visit www.
adoptapet.com and you’ll find a wagging tail and a wet
nose who’ll love you unconditionally.
METRO PHOENIX
Lost Our Home Pet Foundation
30 North 40th Place - Phoenix
602-273-6852
www.aawl.org
16211 N. Scottsdale Rd. A6A #276
www.lostourhome.org
Arizona Rescue
480-598-9410
www.azrescue.org
Arizona Humane Society
TUCSON AREA
Arizona Animal Welfare League
1311 West Hatcher Road - Phoenix
602-997-7585
Arizona Humane Society
1521 West Dobbins Road - Phoenix
602-997-7585
HALO Animal Rescue
5231 North 35th Avenue - Phoenix
602-971-9222
www.halorescue.org
Animals Benefit Club of AZ
3111 St. John Rd. - Phoenix
602-867-2169
www.animalsbenefitclub.com
Center for Animal Rescue &
Adoption
520-237-2331
www.savemoreanimals.com
Humane Society of So. AZ
3450 N. Kelvin Blvd.
520-327-6088
www.hssaz.org
Animal League of Green Valley
1600 W. Duval Mine Rd.
520-625-3170
www.talgv.org
Maricopa Cty. Animal Care &
Control
2300 South 27th Avenue - Phoenix
602-506-7387
2630 West 8th Street - Mesa
602-506-7387
76
Vol. 3, Issue 5
AUGUST 2009
��
OUTRAGEOUS!
Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.
��
Jackson Death Faked!
Working In Detroit Diner
��
DETROIT,
Michigan –
Legendary King
of Pop Michael
Jackson has
been discovered
alive and well,
working in
Hamtramack,
a decaying
community
near Detroit,
Michigan.
Rumors of
his death this
past July have
been greatly
exaggerated.
��
Other dead
celebrities
frequenting
the seedy diner
include 1950s
angst-filled teen
matinee idol,
James Dean
and sex kitten,
blonde bombshell
Marilyn Monroe.
Both celebrities
lives were
reportedly cut
tragically short,
but were actually
staged.
Filmdom’s
gangster and diner nighthawk Humphrey
Jackson is currently employed as a busboy
Bogart, manager, whose death from cancer
at the Dead Celebrity Kozy Kafé where
in 1957 was falsified told reporters, “Of all
he��
works with short order cook Elvis
the gin joints in all the world, they had to
Presley, the late King of Rock ‘n’ Roll,
walk into mine. But Elvis makes a pretty
whose death was also faked in August,
good egg salad sandwich. We’ll see how the
1977, when he was discovered “dead”
Jackson kid works out.”
on the toilet. Since then Presley has been
spotted working at Burger King and other
Anna Nicole Smith, a hostess, said,
fast food restaurants in the Michigan
“Sometimes they report celebrities as being
area. Jackson had a sham marriage with
dead. But they just come to work here in
Presley’s daughter, Lisa Marie Presley,
Hamtramack. I’m not sure which is worse.”
who recommended him for the job.
��
��
��
Pope Breaks Wrist;
Still Able To Not
Masturbate
��
��
��
��
VATICAN CITY — Pope Benedict’s recent
fall fracturing his old, brittle wrist has not
prevented the 82-year-old pontiff from
actively not masturbating.
The Vatican has long imposed a strict
prohibition on auto-erotic self-manipulation.
The Vatican’s Chief Grand Inquisitor of
Corporal Gratification, Cardinal Dontuccha
da Pipi issued a statement. “We guarantee
The Pope broke his right wrist when he
that Il Papa has not pleasured himself by
slipped in the bathroom while on vacation in touching his most holy naughty bits. Unable
Alpine vacation chalet.
to turn the pages of his Bible, he has been
read scripture and the Gospel by many altar
��
“His Holiness is recovering nicely,” said
boys, priests and Cardinals in the privacy of
one anonymous representative speaking
the Papal Bedroom late at night. But he has
on behalf of the Holy See in Rome. “He is
been actively not masturbating himself.”
gaining more mobility in his wrist and will
able to resume playing piano with proper
Although the Pope’s wrist strengthens
rehabilitation. The Vatican, however, would
every day, the Vatican infirmary reports an
like to confirm that after intense scrutiny and increased number of incidents of Carpal
many attempts on the Holy Father’s part, he
Tunnel Syndrome dislocated jaws and TMJ
is not masturbating. He will probably be able being diagnosed.
to not masturbate ever again. Not that he
ever did. Popes don’t do that.”
��
��
80
��
��
Progressive Insurance
No Help to Amish
��
��
��
��
��
��
��
LANCASTER, Penn. — Deep in the heart I wrote Progressive a letter and gave it to
of Pennsylvania Dutch Country, the big
Ezekiel, who will take it to the postmaster,
haired, heavy lipstick and eyeliner of the
who will take it to this she-devil, Flo.”
good-hearted Flo, TV spokesperson for
Progressive Insurance Company holds no
Executives in corporate headquarters in
��
place in the life of the Amish.
Mayfield, Ohio, are perplexed. “We insure
automobiles, motorcycles, RVs, and so forth.
“We heard about this concept of ‘insurance’ But never before has anybody asked us to
but so far it’s been of no help,” said
insure their butter churn or mangle. What in
Zebediah Armstrong, a wheelwright. “The
the hell’s a mangle, anyway?”
other day I was in my buggy down by the
Old Mill Stream when my mare, Jezebel,
Future Progressive Insurance commercials
threw a shoe. I was instructed to call an 800 will feature Flo at an egg incubator with
number. Is that the mark of The Beast? Is
silhouettes of Amish, since photography
it like 666? Insurance is Satan’s work! But
steals their spirit.
��
��
82 WWW.IONAZ.COM August 2009
dating
check
list
M
outhwash?
Check! Directions? Check! Sense of
humor? Check! Good things to remember,
but let’s review a different checklist.
The mental checklist. The one you prepare
when interviewing someone for a job or
a potential relationship. The questions
and answers you’ll want to consider when
determining if your date might lead to
something more. You don’t need all the
answers on your first date, but it’s good to
have some idea of what you’re looking at
going in.
Why? There’s a time in every relationship
where you reach a crossroad. It’s that time
where you’re faced with the inevitable
something that bugs you about the person
you’re with. And that’s when you ask the
questions. What do I like? What can I
tolerate? And what is a deal breaker?
Everyone has a different checklist. Some
of the questions are universal. Some are
specific to your likes, dislikes, wants and
needs. To get you started here are a few
questions you might want to add to your
checklist.
IS THERE CHEMISTRY?
Not necessarily in the sack, but a steady,
flirtatious vibe between the two of you.
DO YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME
TOGETHER?
Do you look forward to spending time with
your date?
DO YOU WANT THE SAME THINGS
OUT OF LIFE?
Career direction, cities you want to live in,
children, and pets come to mind.
DO YOU GET ALONG IN EACH
OTHER’S SOCIAL
CIRCLE?
84
You don’t have to like all their friends, but
the ability to socialize without throwing
their friends off of a bridge is a good test.
Someone who starts with little white lies
(age, education, where they grew up) is
usually hiding bigger lies down the road.
IS EDUCATION IMPORTANT?
High school drop out, trade school
graduate, or doctorate from Harvard?
DO THEY GET YOU?
Can they tell what makes you sad, what
makes you happy, what makes you laugh
– or are they clueless about who you are?
WHAT ARE THEIR FAMILY
RELATIONSHIPS LIKE?
You can tell a lot about what a person will
be like as a partner by watching how they
interact with their family. Pay attention.
DO OPPOSITES ATTRACT?
Sometimes opposites attract, but
sometimes an introverted person who
likes to stay home with the Tivo and an
extroverted person who’s the life of the
party, do not make a match in heaven.
IS AGE IMPORTANT?
To some it’s just a number. To others
it matters. Decide on this one early.
Someone who’s too old for you now is only
going to get older. And if you have trouble
keeping up with the young one’s now,
what’s going to happen as you get older?
DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING IN
COMMON?
You don’t have to do everything together.
But doing what you enjoy alone gets
boring fast.
IS RELIGION IMPORTANT?
Religion can be a big issue. If you’re
Christian and your date is an Atheist it
could be a major deal breaker. It’s best to
be honest early before you fall in love and
it becomes a big issue later.
DO THEY MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD
ABOUT YOURSELF?
A partner should compliment you and lift
you up, not get you down.
ARE THEY HONEST AND
TRUSTWORTHY?
Honesty is a huge issue for most people.
ARE YOU SEXUALLY
COMPATIBLE?
Once you make it into the bedroom, it’s
essential that you have some compatibility.
Don’t think that things will get better with
time. They usually don’t. One of the main
causes of relationship breakups is sexual
incompatibility.
ARE THEY SERIOUS ABOUT
BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP?
If you meet online, check out their profile.
Are they looking for “the one to spend
the rest of their lives with” or “a one night
stand with no strings.” Don’t try to mold
someone into wanting what you want. It
won’t work.
Some of these checklist questions may
be essential others may not. As a basis to
start from, this is a good beginning.
Post your online
or voicemail profile for
FREE on Megamates and
Gaymates.
Our phone dating line and online
dating website offer singles a fun,
interactive place to call, chat, and
connect. It’s free to setup and maintain a
mailbox or online account, free to record
a public message and free to browse other
caller’s profiles and messages. Call 1-888MEGAMATES, use FREE code 7286 or
visit us online at www.megamates.com.
© 2008 Progressive Computing LLC
August
August2009
2009 WWW.IONAZ.COM
WWW.IONAZ.COM 85
85
86
IONPHOENIX
88
1.
1.
Amsterdam
Amsterdam
718 N. Central Ave. - Downtown Phoenix
(602) 258-6122
2.
2.
Apollo’s
Apollo’s
5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix
(602) 277-9373
3.
3.
Bar
Bar1 1
3708 N. 16th St. - Phoenix
(602) 266-9001
4.
4.
BSBSWest
West
7125 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale
(480) 945-9028
5.
5.
Bunkhouse
Bunkhouse
4428 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix
(602) 200-9154
6.
6.
Cash
CashInn
Inn
2140 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 244-9943
7.
7.
Charlie’s
Charlie’s
727 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 265-0224
8.
8.
Cherry
CherryBar
Bar
E. Indian
IndianSchool
SchoolRd.
Rd.--Phoenix
Phoenix
1028 E.
(602) 277-7729
9.
9.
Cherry
CherryLounge
Lounge
starting
January
11th
Mill Ave. in Tempe
Every Thursday at
9pm on
Mill Ave.
in -Tempe
10.
10.
The
TheChute
ChuteMen’s
Men’sClub
Club
1440 E Indian School Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 234-1654
C
11.
Clarendon
Club Vibe Hotel
401 W.
Ave.Rd.
- Phoenix
3031
E. Clarendon
Indian School
- Phoenix
(602) CLARENDON
224-9977
11.
12.
Club
Vibe 7th
Cruisin’
3031 N.
E. Indian
Rd. - Phoenix
3702
7th St. School
- Phoenix
224-9977
(602) 212-9888
12.
13.
Cruisin’
Dick’s 7th
Cabaret
3702 E.
N. Illini
7th St.
- Phoenix
3432
Rd.
- Phoenix
(602) 274-DICK
212-9888
(602)
13.
14.
Dick’s
Dick’sCabaret
II
3432 E. McDowell
Illini Rd. - -Phoenix
2438
Phoenix
274-DICK
(602) 437-DICK
14.
15.
The
Door
Flex
Private Men’s Club
1126 S
N.Black
Scottsdale
Rd.Hwy
- Tempe
1517
Canyon
- Phoenix
(480)
(602) 967-DOOR
271-9011
15.
16.
Forbidden
Forbidden
6820 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale
forbiddenaz.com
16.
17.
Homme
Homme
Camelback Rd.
138 W. Camelback
Rd.--Phoenix
Phoenix
(602) 266-0875
266-0875
(602)
17.
18.
icepics
icepicsvideobar
videobar
(602) 267-8707
18.
19.
Incognito
Incognito
2424 E. Thomas Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 955-9805
19.
20.
Karamba
Karamba
(602) 254-0231
20.
21.
Kobalt
Kobalt
3110 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix
(602) 264-5307
21.
22.
OZ
OZ
1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 242-5114
22.
23.
Plazma
Plazma
1560 E. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix
Phoenix
(602) 266-0477
266-0477
(602)
23.
24.
Pumphouse
PumphouseII II
(602) 275-3509
24.
Retro
Bar Phoenix City Center 3600
3114 N.
E. 2nd
Cactus
Rd.
- Phoenix
Radisson
Ave.
- Phoenix
(602) 604-4900
493-0355
(602)
25.
25.
The
Rock Cactus
Rainbow
4129 N.N.7th
Ave.
- Phoenix
15615
Cave
Creek
Rd. - Phoenix
248-8559
(602) 867-2463
26.
26.
Roscoe’s
The Rock
4531 N. 7th
7th Ave.
St. - -Phoenix
4129
Phoenix
(602) 285-0833
248-8559
27.
27.
Rainbow
Cactus
Roscoe’s
15615N.N.7th
Cave
Rd. - Phoenix
4531
St.Creek
- Phoenix
(602) 285-0833
867-2463
(602)
28.
28.
Velocity
Velocity
2303 E. Indian
Indian School
School Rd.
Rd. --Phoenix
Phoenix
(602) 956-2885
956-2885
(602)
29.
29.
Wild
WildCard
Card
801 N. Arizona Ave. - Chandler
(480) 857-3088
30.
30.
Z ZGirl
GirlClub
Club
4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix
(602) 265-3233
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IF IT’S NOT IN��, IT’S NOT HAPPENING!
IONTUCSON
CLUBS, RESTAURANTS, AND NIGHTLIFE
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
Ain’t Nobody’s Biz
Colors
Howl at the Moon
IBT’s
Miguel’s Mexican Restaurant
Venture-N
Woody’s
Yard Dog
2900 E. Broadway
5305 E. Speedway
915 W. Prince Rd.
616 N. 4th Ave.
5900 N. Oracle Rd.
1239 N. 6th Ave.
3710 N. Oracle Rd.
2449 N. Stone
(520) 318-4838
(520) 323-1840
(520) 293-7339
(520) 882-3053
(520) 887-3777
(520) 882-8224
(520) 292-6702
(520) 624-3858
445 S. Alvernon Way
5335 E. Broadway Blvd.
5900 N. Oracle Rd.
204 S. Scott Ave.
3800 E. Sunrise Dr.
(520) 881-4200
(520) 745-2700
(520) 887-4800
(877) 670-9022
(520) 742-6000
ACCOMODATIONS & LODGING
1
2
3
4
5
Doubletree Hotel at Reid Park
Embassy Suites
La Posada Lodge and Casitas
Royal Elizabeth B&B
The Westin La Paloma
MEAT FRIDAYS
94
by Addison DeWitt
We move into
the dog days of summer
hoping for some brief respite from the
heat and the bad new in the obituaries.
This summer flies have been dropping like
celebrities.
It’s a sad day for bachelors in Phoenix.
Word on the street is that sexpot of the
century David Kitchen is taking his hot
little “cucina” is off the market, pumpkins.
Again! Frankly, dearies, my heart is
broken. Cutie-pie Kitchen is slated to be
“committed” this upcoming Valentine’s
Day, 2010, in Sedona, probably in one
a spiritual vortex by a shaman or
some kind of New Age witch
doctor. Well, he needs to
be committed all right!
So make sure your
chakras, aura and
biorhythms are all in
alignment, honey. If
you need me to act
as Oracle and wave
any smudge sticks
around and burn some
incense to bless your
union, just let me know.
I’m also happy to spend
time with you in a sweat lodge
for a little bit of “Ass”tral Plane
Travel before the happy day, FYI.
Check out the increasingly glamorous new
patio at Bar1, featuring pass through bar
service. Designed by noted world famous
architect Frank Gehry, it’s appealing and
it’s so nice to be able to step outside and
have a breath of nice, clean, fresh air while
you’re firing up a healthy cigarette. [Noted
world famous architect Frank Gehry did
not design the patio. But it sure sounds
good! — Ed.]
Rumor had it that Bar1tender Scott Stowe
had a new boyfriend named Eric. Yes,
96
that’s two hads. Had had. And that’s how
Scott introduced him to me one Saturday
night. He said — and I quote, “This is
my new boyfriend, Eric.” End quote. But
apparently after a long-term relationship
of one week it was over because Scott
informed me that he was single and
looking and that he’ll move in any
boyfriend faster than a Lesbian with a UHaul should Mr. Right (Now) come along.
Applications now being accepted.
On the Political Front — and I know that’s
why you read this column — is it true that
former ASU Sigma Nu fraternity “House
Mom” Neil Giuliano is tossing his Bendel
bonnet into the ring for Arizona’s
next governor? And as a
Democrat — finally?
Looks like the former
Man from GLAAD will
be duking it out with
Attorney General
Terry “The Doofus”
Goddard for the
nomination. I think
a Pillsbury Bake-Off
might be a good test.
Stay tuned for details.
Tough times call for tough
measures. Councilman/Vice
Mayor Tom Simplot was pounding
the pavement and cadging for campaign
contributions in the horrible, awful, dreary
city of San Francisco and suffering through
unbearably dull cocktail parties to help
fund his campaign for re-election. Seems
that a number of Phoenix ex-pats like that
obscure object of my desire, Christopher
Vasquez, and an assortment of louche
“remittance men” [that means their family
paid them to leave for some scandalous
reason. — Ed.] who love their hometown
so much they apparently can’t stand to live
here anymore banded together in Sodom
by the Bay and broke out the Rice-a-Roni
[“The San Francsico Treat!” — Ed.] and
the best
muscatel quarters
can buy to help keep the Honorable Tom
in office. Look for Tom, coming to a
city near you! Today, ‘Frisco
Frisco
— tomorrow, Schenectady!
If you’d care to make a
contribution to a campaign
of another sort, I highly
recommend a visit to the
leaders of tomorrow
at the new McDowell
Road location of
Dick’s Cabaret II— the #1
male revue in the WORLD!
In case you don’tt believe
me, it says so, right on
the sign outside. And,
my dears, my dears!
If those boys were
98
politicians
they could take their polls and stick
‘em in my ballot box anytime. Tell Freakk
the doorman I sent you.
Our Party Penguin of the Month is that
wild and untamed James Silva. This
uninhibited, unabashed, unrestrained
and un-just about everything rogueabout-town has set the bar for
screwball, anything-goes, rascally,
Oh-My-God-I-Can’t-Believe-He’sOh-My-God-I-Can
Doing-That-(Again!)
antics. And that’s why
we love him. We do love
him, don
don’t we? Well, don’t
we? [We do. — Ed.]
You can report on your own
louche hijinx and get even
with your friends by reporting
everything to Addison DeWitt at
RumorHound@aol.com
99
Libra Sept. 23 - Oct. 22
Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20
We can’t put our finger on what makes you so
bewitching and beguiling. But there’s a Capricorn
out there that would love to put his or her finger
somewhere! Just make sure you put a ring on
it, first. We have a hunch this one might be the
Real McCoy.
Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20
When you smile it’s breathtaking. And not just
because of the Crest Whitestrips® either. You
can use your power for good – or evil – this
month. That’s just how much mojo you have. Go
for good. The guy in the white hat always wins.
Besides that, Aries and Capricorns totally dig
‘em. Did you ever see the Lone Ranger lose?
Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov. 23
Why buy the cow when the milk’s free? Listen,
little heifer, time to quite being so free and sleazy.
Assign a dollar value to everything you do.
Everything. You’ll be surprised that just being you
commands top dollar. And I do mean “top.” Ask
any Gemini..
Your scorpion-tough exoskeleton protects you
from the gritty things in Life bombarding you
this month. But under that armor-like carapace
beats a soft, mushy, heart of gold. Just like any
other arthropod. Check out red star Antares, the
Heart of the Scorpion in low southern skies this
summer. Extra sexy!
Gemini May 21 - June 21
Sagittarius Nov. 23-Dec. 23
You’re creating a heat wave all on your own.
Your animal magnetism is has everybody’s
pheromones at the boiling point. Why? Just
because you’re you. You’re not nearly as
effective when you’re trying to be Madonna. Now
heat up the Easy Bake Oven and invite a Pisces
over for a fish fry.
You’re blindly optimistic, and that doesn’t help
when you carry a bow and arrow, horseydude.
Take a minute and exercise some tact you’re
known to lack and your honest, good nature will
come through. Then shoot if you still want to. But
avoid hitting a Libra. And don’t get caught.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
You’re one of the reigning sex symbols this
month. And you smell pretty good, too, all
wrapped up in with an big, star-spangled,
astrological bow of charisma. Say “Yes” to
everyone who wants to be your friend on
Facebook. You’ll be glad you did when a Leo
asks.
Mom was right. Eat your vegetables. Take your
vitamins. Get plenty of rest. So stop burning your
candle at both ends this month and you won’t
be so “crabby.” Relax. Put your feet up. Have
a slumber party with a sexy Aries, Scorpio and
Aquarius. You’ll be surprised what happens when
you play Spin-The-Bottle.
Leo July 23 - Aug. 22
What’s new, pussycat? August is your month to
prove who’s king – or queen – of the jungle. Well,
savannah, if you want to get technical. You might
say that you’re the “mane” attraction. So take
“pride” in what you do, puss. Eat your Friskies
and roar for a special Gemini.
Virgo Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
Take some time to admire God’s handiwork. Or
Buddha’s. Or Allah’s. Or some Higher Power’s,
for crying out loud. It didn’t just get there by itself.
Take some time to stop and smell the roses. You
just might find a Taurus that has a few questions
about the Universe you can answer.
100
WWW.IONAZ.COM
August 2009
Capricorn Dec. 23- Jan. 20
Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19
This month is a good one to give up at least one
of your vices. We’ll let you choose which one.
But consider giving up cigarettes, shoes, oriental
rugs or talking smack about your friends. Keep
the porn, however. Complimenting a Cancer and
a Leo is in your favor.
Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20
Pinch yourself! You must be dreaming! No,
everything really is just that good. You’ve got
some kind of planetary kismet on your side.
Throw caution to the wind! Take a risk – it’ll pay
off. Unexpectedly kiss someone on the lips. An
Aquarius kisses you back. Twice.

PAST_ISSUES_files/ION FINAL August 97 web

Transcription

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