Princessa: A Guide For She Who Takes First Place
Transcription
Princessa: A Guide For She Who Takes First Place
Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place Your Ultimate Looks & Life Makeover How to Become the Ultimate Version of Yourself and Live the Life of Your Dreams By Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology ©2007 Autumn Publishing Disclaimer: The information contained herein is intended for informational purposes only. Do not implement any advice without consulting a physician or professional first. The publisher cannot be held liable for any damages incurred resulting from the implementation of this information. 1 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Princessa A Guide for She Who Takes First Place Table of Contents START HERE .............................................................................................................................................. 6 WHY I WROTE THIS BOOK.................................................................................................................... 9 HERE’S THE INFO YOU WANTED ...................................................................................................... 11 HOW TO DRAMATICALLY ENHANCE YOUR APPEARANCE..................................................... 14 CELEBRITY BEAUTY SECRETS: ................................................................................................................. 14 ENHANCE YOUR APPEARANCE FROM THE INSIDE ..................................................................................... 26 CELEBRITY MAKEUP SECRETS ................................................................................................................. 27 CELEBRITY HAIR SECRETS ....................................................................................................................... 30 CELEBRITY DIETING SECRETS .................................................................................................................. 32 HIGH TECH BEAUTY ................................................................................................................................. 34 AGING GRACEFULLY ................................................................................................................................ 38 HOW TO INDULGE THE GODDESS WITHIN, BY INDULGING YOUR FIVE SENSES............. 40 INDULGE YOUR SENSE OF SIGHT:............................................................................................................. 40 INDULGE YOUR SENSE OF SOUND: ........................................................................................................... 43 INDULGE YOUR SENSE OF SMELL:............................................................................................................ 45 INDULGE YOUR SENSE OF TASTE ............................................................................................................. 46 INDULGE YOUR SENSE OF TOUCH: ........................................................................................................... 47 MULTI-SENSORY EXPERIENCES................................................................................................................ 49 HOW TO BE SUPER HEALTHY, CLEAN AND WELL RESTED..................................................... 50 BEAUTY SLEEP SECRETS .......................................................................................................................... 50 SENSATIONAL SHOWERING ...................................................................................................................... 53 HOW TO BE HEALTHIER ........................................................................................................................... 54 YEARLY HEALTH SCREENING .................................................................................................................. 55 HOW TO BE ENERGIZED, FIT, AND HEALTHY WITH NUTRITION SECRETS....................... 56 KNOW THY FOOD PYRAMID ..................................................................................................................... 56 NUTRITION CRASH COURSE ..................................................................................................................... 57 NUTRITION SECRETS ................................................................................................................................ 57 TOP ENERGIZING FOODS .......................................................................................................................... 59 FIVE HEALTHIEST OILS ............................................................................................................................ 63 TOP 20 FOODS FOR GREAT SKIN............................................................................................................... 63 TOP 4 FOODS TO AVOID IF YOU ARE ACNE PRONE ................................................................................... 64 2 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology TOP 5 SATISFYING LOW-FAT SNACKS ...................................................................................................... 64 SNEAKY WAYS TO GET YOUR FRUITS AND VEGGIES ............................................................................... 65 SENSATIONAL SALSA ............................................................................................................................... 68 MIGHTY AND MAGICAL MINESTRONE ...................................................................................................... 69 TASTE THE RAINBOW ............................................................................................................................... 70 POUND-SHEDDING TIPS AND TRICKS ........................................................................................................ 71 HOW TO REVITALIZE YOUR BODY WITH NUTRITIOUS AND DELICIOUS RECIPES......... 79 FRUIT-PACKED POWER SMOOTHIES ......................................................................................................... 79 BENEFICIAL BREAKFASTS ........................................................................................................................ 81 NUTRITION-PACKED DINNERS.................................................................................................................. 83 DIVINELY DELICIOUS VEGGIES ................................................................................................................ 86 HEALTHY HORS D’OEUVRES .................................................................................................................... 87 SUPERCHARGED SOUPS ............................................................................................................................ 88 DELICIOUS JUNK FOOD SUBSTITUTES....................................................................................................... 90 HOW TO BE IN SHAPE, ENERGIZED, AND PHYSICALLY FIT WITH FITNESS SECRETS ... 92 THE KEY TO FITNESS ................................................................................................................................ 92 THE BENEFITS OF EXERCISE ..................................................................................................................... 92 THE BIG THREE ........................................................................................................................................ 92 AREOBICIZE .............................................................................................................................................. 93 SCULPT MUSCLE ...................................................................................................................................... 94 STRETCH .................................................................................................................................................. 95 SUPPLEMENT YOUR FITNESS PROGRAM ................................................................................................... 95 HOW TO REVITALIZE YOUR BODY WITH EXCITING FITNESS ADVENTURES................... 97 SPOIL YOURSELF AT A SPA ....................................................................................................................... 97 AN ADVENTURE SPA ................................................................................................................................ 97 ACTIVITY AND LUXURY ........................................................................................................................... 97 INLINE SKATING ESCAPADE ..................................................................................................................... 98 REJUVENATING RUN................................................................................................................................. 98 YOGA QUEST ............................................................................................................................................ 98 SEASCAPE SWIM ....................................................................................................................................... 98 SPECTACULAR STROLL ............................................................................................................................. 99 GO TAKE A HIKE ...................................................................................................................................... 99 BREATHTAKING BIKE RIDE ...................................................................................................................... 99 HOW TO ORGANIZE AND BEAUTIFY YOUR ENVIRONMENT ................................................. 100 THREE STEPS TO A NEAT, CLEAN AND ORGANIZED LIVING SPACE ........................................................ 100 PROBLEM SOLVING: STRESSED OUT ABOUT CLUTTER ........................................................................... 102 HOW TO ORGANIZE YOUR HOME ........................................................................................................... 104 HOW TO ORGANIZE YOUR CAR: ............................................................................................................. 106 HOW TO USE A FILING CABINET ............................................................................................................. 107 BEAUTIFY YOUR ENVIRONMENT ............................................................................................................ 108 WORKSPACE WELL-BEING ..................................................................................................................... 108 A NEAT, ORGANIZED PURSE .................................................................................................................. 109 CAR SAFETY AND MAINTENANCE: ......................................................................................................... 110 HOME SAFETY AND MAINTENANCE ....................................................................................................... 111 HOW TO ACHIEVE ALL YOUR GOALS AND DREAMS............................................................... 114 GOOD GOAL ADVICE .............................................................................................................................. 114 LEARN THE SECRET ............................................................................................................................... 116 DON’T EXPECT PERFECTION ................................................................................................................... 116 LEARN TO HANDLE REJECTION .............................................................................................................. 116 SUPERSTARS WORK HARD ..................................................................................................................... 117 SIGN THE CONTRACT .............................................................................................................................. 118 3 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology MEET THE MOTIVATIONAL MASTER ...................................................................................................... 118 THE THREE-STEP SYSTEM TO MAKING ANY DREAM COME TRUE ......................................................... 119 KEEP A JOURNAL AND IMPROVE YOUR LIFE RADICALLY:...................................................................... 121 A FEW WORDS ON TIME MANAGEMENT: ............................................................................................... 123 DAILY PLANNER ..................................................................................................................................... 124 DESIGN YOUR DAYS .............................................................................................................................. 124 HOW TO BE SMARTER AND THINK MORE EFFICIENTLY....................................................... 125 SUPERCHARGE YOUR BRAIN .................................................................................................................. 125 SUPPLEMENT YOUR MIND ...................................................................................................................... 125 OTHER WAYS TO SUPERCHARGE YOUR BRAIN ...................................................................................... 127 HOW TO GET AN IVY LEAGUE LEVEL SELF- EDUCATION ..................................................... 131 LEARN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD ..................................................................................................... 131 HOW TO ACQUIRE MASS AMOUNTS OF KNOWLEDGE ............................................................................. 135 OTHER WAYS TO RIVAL IVY LEAGUERS ................................................................................................ 136 HOW TO BE MORE CREATIVE AND ARTISTIC............................................................................ 140 UNLEASH YOUR CREATIVITY ................................................................................................................. 140 ENHANCE CREATIVITY ........................................................................................................................... 142 INTENSE IMAGINATION ........................................................................................................................... 143 BRAINSTORMING .................................................................................................................................... 144 ADVANCED BRAINSTORMING ................................................................................................................. 144 HOW TO DEVELOP AND NURTURE YOUR TALENTS ................................................................ 145 FIND YOUR TALENT ............................................................................................................................... 145 NURTURE YOUR TALENT ....................................................................................................................... 146 USE YOUR TALENT ................................................................................................................................ 146 DANCING SECRETS ................................................................................................................................. 146 SINGING/ MUSICIAN SECRETS ................................................................................................................ 149 ACTING SECRETS .................................................................................................................................... 151 WRITING SECRETS .................................................................................................................................. 152 BUSINESS WOMAN SECRETS .................................................................................................................. 153 HOW TO BECOME WEALTHY AND FINANCIALLY SAVVY ..................................................... 154 PROBLEM SOLVING: STRESSED OUT ABOUT MONEY PROBLEMS ............................................................ 154 OTHER WAYS TO GET A HANDLE ON YOUR DOUGH: ............................................................................. 157 AN IN-CONTROL BUDGET ...................................................................................................................... 159 JOIN YOUR COMPANY’S 401K PLAN ........................................................................................................ 159 WAYS TO GET MONEY WHEN YOU’RE DESPERATE ............................................................................... 160 MORE GREAT MONEY TIPS .................................................................................................................... 162 HOW TO BE MORE CONFIDENT, SOCIABLE, AND A BETTER CONVERSATIONALIST ... 165 CULTIVATE CONFIDENCE ....................................................................................................................... 165 PANIC ATTACK 101 ................................................................................................................................ 166 MIND GAMES FOR BOOSTING CONFIDENCE: .......................................................................................... 166 COMMUNICATION SKILLS ....................................................................................................................... 167 STAR SOCIAL SKILLS .............................................................................................................................. 167 CELEBRITY PUBLICIST TIPS .................................................................................................................... 168 JOB INTERVIEW TIPS ............................................................................................................................... 170 HOW TO BECOME A BETTER CONVERSATIONALIST ................................................................................ 170 HOW TO HAVE AN EXCITING, INSPIRING LIFE.......................................................................... 172 WATCH YOUR OWN PERSONAL TV STATION ......................................................................................... 172 BECOME A MUSIC COLLECTOR ............................................................................................................... 173 HOW TO ADD INSPIRATION AND EXCITEMENT TO YOUR LIFE ................................................................ 184 4 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology WALT DISNEY WORLD ........................................................................................................................... 187 MORE WAYS TO ENCHANT YOURSELF ................................................................................................... 189 VACATION LOVERS ................................................................................................................................ 197 MORE WAYS TO MAKE LIFE MORE INTERESTING .................................................................................. 198 BREAK THE MONOTONY ......................................................................................................................... 202 HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY HAPPY AND HEALTHY ................................................................ 204 MENTAL HEALTH ................................................................................................................................... 204 STRESS REDUCTION SECRETS ................................................................................................................. 206 5 SCIENTIFICALLY-SOUND WAYS TO INSTANT HAPPINESS ..................................................................... 211 OTHER WAYS TO KEEP YOUR BLUES AT BAY ........................................................................................ 212 TURN OFF THAT TUBE ONCE IN AWHILE ................................................................................................ 213 HOW TO HAVE GREAT RELATIONSHIPS...................................................................................... 215 MAKE ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS GREAT ............................................................................................. 215 CREATIVE WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP BONDS .......................................................... 218 SOUL MATE SEARCH .............................................................................................................................. 220 HOW TO NURTURE YOUR SPIRIT ................................................................................................... 222 BE AWAKE SO THAT YOU CAN RECEIVE YOUR BLESSINGS ................................................................ 222 TRY TO MAKE SENSE OF THE WORLD AROUND YOU .............................................................................. 223 HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR SPIRITUAL SIDE ............................................................................. 224 PLEASE HELP KEEP THIS BOOK UP-TO-DATE............................................................................ 227 YOUR ULTIMATE LIFE WORKBOOK: ............................................................................................ 228 REFERENCES ......................................................................................................................................... 233 5 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Start Here First things first… My best advice to you is to read this whole book cover to cover! In this book you will find the very best tips for living your dream life that I have ever come across in my many years of study in self improvement, success, and psychology! And since I am also a celebrity beauty editor, you will also read the latest and greatest secrets in celebrity beauty and celebrity lifestyle! My best tip on how to become the ultimate version of yourself and create the life of your dreams is to daydream about who you want to be and the type of life you want. Daydreaming will motivate you to make the daydream your reality because it is like playing a commercial in your head that will motivate you to go out and get the type of life you want. Then brainstorm and write down everything you would need to do live this life. This will be your blueprint. Do you need to go to college? Do you need to move to a town by the sea? Do you need to take music lessons? I have tried to make this book fun to read… Because I know lives are busy and people get bored, I have tried to make this book as fun as possible. Instead of long, drawn out information, I have tried to give you what you need to know in a nutshell. If you need more info, I have listed the websites you can visit. I have also tried to make this book very personal by sharing with you things that I personally find fun or inspiring, or just plain amazing. I have always been a person with the capacity to get really obsessed with things (like particular songs, or movies, or places), so I consider myself a “treasure hunter” for this reason. For example, when the movie Titanic came out I saw it ten times and got everyone I knew to go see it based on their curiosity of my unbridled enthusiasm. Because of my capacity to get really excited about things, I am always on the lookout for new or old awesome things and love to share these with others. I also love to ask others what their favorite things are and then I’ll listen to that song, or go to that pizza place, or check out that great ride in Disney World. So please just hang in there with me if I start gushing about things I love (ha, ha!) But I truly feel that to live the ultimate life, you have to surround yourself with inspiration and excitement, or you just won’t have any motivation. I have filled this book with my favorite things, personal anecdotes, and some raw silliness in an effort to keep you awake. I have trudged through some boring self help books in my time and did not want this to be one of those snoozers. If you start to get bored with any section of this book, then feel free to skip to a different section. You can read this book in any order you want to. Just read the whole thing or you may miss out on something that can be really life changing. 6 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology I have tried to make this book helpful to every aspect of your life… This book took me years to right because I wanted it to be very helpful in every aspect of your life: your appearance, your health, your wealth, your education, your motivation, your happiness, your relationships, your talents, your goals, your body, your mind, and your spirit! So do read the whole book so you can improve your whole life. Also, remember to refer to this book in the future, as I have included information that can be very helpful in many situations you may come across down the road. I have tried to make this book incredibly useful… This book contains the actual strategies used by celebrity entourages and psychology and self improvement experts. It lists actual names of products, websites and phone numbers. Future editions of this book will be updated with new product names, websites and phone numbers as things change. This way you will always know exactly what to buy or do so you can easily replicate the ideas used by experts. I wrote this book for you…yes YOU! As I wrote this book I thought about the kind of person that would be reading it, and wanted to give you the very best of everything, as I consider you a “kindred spirit” since you want to live your ultimate life too. (Kindred spirit: A word from my obsession with the Anne of Green Gables movie at 11 years old). I truly feel that you came across this book for a reason. If you like this book, then please stay in touch by subscribing to the free newsletter that I edit, Celebrity Beauty Secret E-zine. Here I will announce my latest books and offers for you. Subscribe for free at: Celebrity-Beauty-Secret-Goldmine.com/subscribe.html Coming soon, Princessa Sorority… Be sure to stay tuned to our e-newsletter as we will be inviting you, a fellow princessa to join our sorority. Here you will have exclusive opportunities not available to the public. This club is for all of us who refuse to “settle” in life. We know we are worth more, that we have extraordinary talents that we need to share with the world. So we are going to help each other achieve them! Don’t miss out! So what exactly is a princessa? Princessa literally means, “She who takes first place”. This is what this book is all about, giving you the strategies to succeed in all areas of your life. This is why you are different… I truly think it’s a shame when people let things limit them in life. When people give up before they even try. When people “coast”. Or “live on autopilot”. And then they regret 7 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology not tying harder later in life, or even worse, on their death bed. You are a person who is not going to let that happen. You realize that “this is life, not a dress rehearsal”, and that you “only get one life”, and that all those other famous self improvement clichés are true. So congratulations to you and let’s get started! 8 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Why I Wrote This Book Dear Reader, I was about 15 years old when I realized that I had become a couch potato. I was always very imaginative and with all my teenage obsessions, I began to find it hard not to indulge my favorite hobby- constant daydreaming. And what a more comfortable way to daydream then by laying down where I was comfortable. On the comfy couch. Or on my comfy bed. With a goose down comforter and a soft pillow I could lay in my bed for days if I coulddaydreaming about the guy I had a crush on, or making up music videos for the musician I someday hoped to be. Real life didn’t hold a candle to my daydreams, or so I thought. The world in my mind was so awesome that I did not want to leave and face humdrum, anxietyriddled real life. I always romanticized lying in bed as a comfortable, snuggly activity. I loved the idea of being a little like Elizabeth Barrett Browning, a writer famous for being bedridden, whose mate used to court her with love letters and periodic visits to her bedside. After all, true artists were all a little eccentric, right? And then the guy I had been crushing on for five years, dumped me, just like that. Now what reason did I have to get out of bed? I’d drag myself through the high school halls, from class to class. Then I’d plop myself on my bed at home and daydream about John before we broke up. Then John some more. Then John some more. I couldn’t stop the daydreams. I couldn’t get out of bed. The daydreams were masking a deep depression that enveloped me as I was in the real world less and less. My soul was starved for real human contact while my body was starved for activity. A few years later, I found a book in the library that had a curious title, Alice in Bed, by Susan Sontag. This play was based on a real person, Alice James. Alice James was the only girl in a family of powerful men. Her brother Henry James was the famed novelist and her brother William James was considered one of the fathers of psychology. Alice, like her brothers, had an outstanding, imaginative, vivid mind. But unlike her brothers, Alice never ventured into the world 9 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Alice was too afraid to go anywhere, even into the room next door. She laid on her bed everyday all year. A family employee would come in her room and turn the mattress every couple of months and would feed her daily. Other than this, and the occasional talks with family members, Alice never did anything, met anyone, or went anywhere. Alice justified this in her mind by saying to herself that her brain had such a vivid imagination that she could visit any destination in the world with it, without leaving her bed. The Sistine Chapel ceiling, as painted by Michelangelo himself, had nothing on the Sistine Chapel ceiling she could conjure up in her mind. Instead of writing, using her intellect, or creating art, Alice James chose to keep her imagination confined to her mind and her body confined to her bed. Could Alice have possibly really wanted it this way? I don’t believe so. I suddenly had an epiphany. I was an Alice in the making if I did not change my life. I would surely miss out on a lot if I stayed a couch potato. I was taking my youth and my life for granted. I was coasting on autopilot, just getting by. I realized, as Ben Franklin said, “There is time enough for sleep in the grave.” Then I really started trying to live life to my fullest potential. Just like every self-help guru, I read tons of books. But I also decided to go to college for psychology so that I could be my first patient (he, he). I wanted to learn how to motivate myself to achieve my goals. I applied what I learned in my own life and did end up achieving the goals that I had set for myself. Now I want to share the secrets, tips, tricks and advice I learned with you. Just the fact that you ordered this book makes me consider you a kindred spirit. I don’t really know you, but I feel like I do. You are someone who does not want to settle for “so-so”. You don’t like being stuck in ruts. You know that you are capable of so much more. Instead of just reading stories or watching television to live vicariously through fictional great lives, you want to live life to the fullest for yourself. You are an adventuress or at least one in the making. Congratulations to you for desiring an intense, as the French say, joie de vie, or “joy of life”. This book was written with someone like you in mind! I implore you to read this book cover to cover and to do the activities. If you do this you will have much more direction, motivation and inspiration for living. So I hope you enjoy it, but more importantly, I hope you decide to live it! Cheers! Sincerely, Sara Liz 10 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Here’s the Info You Wanted Remember in the advertisement for this book that I promised you that I’d tell you where to go to find the teaser information that prompted you to purchase? Well, here it is: Home Page Teasers: • Learn exactly what celebrities do and buy to look celebrity-level beautiful and duplicate these techniques on yourself! See chapter 1. • Learn all those celebrity beauty tricks that they are reluctant to share, like the lip plumping treatment used by almost every young celebrity and the hair iron they use to get silky hair, with a glass like shine. See chapter 1. • Learn which foundation you can use while you work out or swim that will actually improve your acne! See chapter 1. • Learn the exact strategies celebrities use for getting rid of acne and wrinkles. See chapter 1. • Want to know what foundation Eva Longoria uses, or where Queen Latifah buys her body shapers? What mascara is used on Jessica Alba or what Jessica Simpson's stylist does to keep her color treated hair super-healthy looking? It's all right here! See chapter 1. • Learn all the latest, greatest, most cutting edge beauty secrets. Secrets that you can't find anywhere else, that make the most radical, drastic different in your appearance. See chapter 1. • Never feel insecure again by taking control of your beauty situation with jealouslyguarded beauty secrets that empower you. You will learn to become a one-woman beauty entourage for yourself! You will have all the greatest beauty info of all time at your finger tips! See chapter 1. • Succeed at life’s challenges. See chapter 9. • Achieve your goals as quickly as possible. See chapter 9. 11 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place • by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Learn how to build a website and start your own online business that can make you a millionaire. This is the same method that I (Sara Liz) and my mother used to create this website. Imagine no more having to go to that job you hate! See chapter 13, under Business Woman Secrets. • Learn the secrets of the world’s “inner circle” and from Hollywood celebrities on how to live the life of your dreams. All chapters contain such secrets. • Organize everything: Your living space, your workspace, your vehicle, your money, your time, your shopping, and your life! You can’t live the life of your dreams until you get organized! See chapter 8. • Have a ton of energy and get everything done in your day. See chapters 4 and 6. • Learn how to become an actress, singer, musician, dancer, writer, business woman, etc… See chapter 13. • Feel happy and comfortable almost all the time and in any situation. See chapter 17. • Be confident when meeting new people by learning “the rules” for conquering shyness. Success and a social life require confidence! See chapter 15. • Always have something to say by learning how to become “witty” and “informed”. See chapters 11 and 15. • Learn what wind chimes, bubble baths, foreign food, seashells, and thunderstorms can do for your life. See chapter 16. • Learn the only way to lose weight and keep it off forever! See chapter 4 and 6. • Learn how to get rid of embarrassing problems like body hair, body odor, bad acne and bad breath for good! See chapter 1. • Know how to make school classes, homework, your job, or your housecleaning more fun. See chapters 10, 16 and 17. • Boost your brain power and energy with special drinks you can whip up in minutes. See chapter 10. • Get all the secrets you need to become a more powerful person who meets her goals and makes amazing things happen in her life. See chapter 9. • Learn what to do everyday to make sure your body, hair, nails, and skin look their very best. See chapter 1. 12 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place • by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Learn why you should go to the beach at sunset or stand by waterfalls more often. See chapter 16. • Know what you should bring on all your vacations to get the ultimate experience. See chapter 16. • Eat like a pampered spa girl. Get delicious, nutritious recipes for healthy meals and smoothies. See chapter 5. • Come up with tons of exciting ideas everyday. See chapter 12. • Learn why you should ride scary roller coasters and jump in the pool more often. See chapter 16. • Learn how to make that feeling of being on vacation linger on back at home. See chapter 16. • Learn the shortcuts for building a big vocabulary or for expanding your knowledge bank. See chapter 11. • Learn secrets for making life more fun and enjoyable. See chapters 16 and 17. • Improve all areas of your life: your relationships your finances, your education, your career, your vacations, your appearance, your self esteem, your health and fitness, your spirituality, your goal achievement and your fun! All chapters. 13 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part One: Body Chapter 1 How to Dramatically Enhance Your Appearance Let’s start with our appearance, not because it is the most important aspect of life, but it is one that can really get on our nerves when it makes us lack confidence. This can stop people from wanting to get out there and do things. This gets boring and uninspiring, and can end up affecting your overall sense of motivation. For example, why would you go to the gym if you felt uncomfortable being without makeup? (I’ll get to the solution to that in a moment.) So let’s take care of our appearance problems first. I used to think that my fascination with beauty meant that I was a shallow person. But I knew I wasn’t a shallow person and after years of anguishing over this, I figured out why I was so interested in beauty. It is a creative and artistic outlet for me. It can also be scientific and experimental. So instead of thinking of myself as shallow for being interested in the topic, I remember that it is just one small facet of who I am and certainly not the most important. But it’s a lot of fun! Beauty allows a person to be their own portable canvas (he, he). Beauty information is plentiful. But how do you find the very best, latest and greatest, most innovative beauty tips? Who better to get beauty tips from then celebrities who get paid to look their very best? Celebrity Beauty Secrets: • Celebrity Beauty Secret Goldmine: Be sure to visit Celebrity-Beauty-SecretGoldmine.com as often as possible to get the very latest, cutting-edge beauty products and techniques from Hollywood! Unlike other beauty websites or magazines, we make it our mission to give you the Hollywood beauty info first! • Daily Beauty Fix: Besides Celebrity Beauty-Secret-Goldmine.com, another great cutting-edge beauty website is DailyBeauty.com. It is powered by New Beauty Magazine. It features the latest product reviews, expert advice, celebrity secrets, video demonstrations and beauty news and resources. • 3 Best Beauty Magazines: The three greatest magazines for beauty information in my opinion are Allure Magazine, New Beauty Magazine, and Celebrity Beauty Secret Ezine. All three feature the latest products and most cutting-edge, new techniques. To not subscribe to these three is to miss out on the information that can really 14 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology make a difference in your appearance! You can sign up for Celebrity Beauty Secret Ezine for free at: Celebrity-Beauty-Secret-Goldmine.com/subscribe.html • Beauty Box for Beauty Junkies: Beauty junkies, take note: New Beauty Magazine has launched Beauty Box, an interactive beauty package, exclusively from Nordstrom stores. With the Beauty Box you will pay $30.00 for a package containing a copy of the latest New Beauty magazine, and sample size products featured in that issue! It’s awesome to read about how great and revolutionary a brand new beauty product is and be able to say, “Hey, that’s in my box! Yeah!” • Test Tube Beauty: Are you a beauty junkie who does not live near a Nordstrom? No problem. You can join the Test Tube program from New Beauty magazine where you get a tube full of the latest, cutting edge beauty products, featured in their magazine, delivered to your door 4 times a year! This way you are always the gal with the new stuff that beauty editors love! Visit NewBeauty.com for more information. • The Most Beautifying Foods: According to The Black Book of Hollywood Beauty Secrets, celebrities are trained to eat for huge beauty payoff. Celebrities like to snack on bruschetta because the toast with tomatoes and olive oil contain anti-aging ingredients that help the collagen in your skin to stay firm. Pomegranate juice also contains anti-aging ingredients and can help get rid of fine lines. Sweet potatoes keep your eyes young. If you mash a banana and put in on your face as a mask for 20 minutes it will help you banish wrinkles. • Paris Hilton’s Hair Secret: Ever wonder how Paris Hilton’s hair goes from short to long in one day? Paris has admitted to being a fan of Dream Catcher hair extensions. Dream Catcher brand hair extensions are different from traditional hair extensions because they do not require any glue. They are clasped and crimped into your hair instead. Paris recommends using hair extensions in more than one color for a natural, multidimensional look. • Dream Diet Pill: Diet pills can be a big waste of money or can be unsafe if you are uninformed. The only one worth the money would have to be Alli which is brand new and available at Walgreens and Walmart. It is the only over-the-counter diet pill which has FDA approval. It is supposed to help you lose 50% more weight than with just dieting alone. So if you could lose 10 pounds with just dieting, you would lose 15 with Alli. Visit MyAlli.com for more information. • Eat Oprah’s Breakfast: Oprah’s neighbor Bob Greene is considered one of the greatest diet gurus! Visit TheBestLife.com to get more information about Bob’s Best Life Diet. His book shows you what to buy and gives you great recipes. Oprah’s favorite breakfast fits into the Best Life Diet. She mixes a 100 calorie key lime flavor Yoplait yogurt with some blueberries, mangoes and some walnuts. She eats it out of a sundae glass for a delicious and nutritious, satisfying breakfast treat! • The Fountain of Youth Book: If you want to have absolutely beautiful skin or fight aging as zealously as possible, you must read, 10 Minutes/10 Years, by Dr. Frederic Brandt. He is the dermatologist who created Laser in a Bottle and he is a member of the New Beauty magazine advisory board. In the book he gives great 15 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology tips, such as taking a flaxseed supplement for less oily skin. • Grab and Go Pearly Whites: Go Smile is an on-the-go tooth whitener, formulated by dentists and given as a part of the Academy Award show gift bags for celebrities. It is the next best thing to your dentist’s laser whitening process. Visit GoSmile.com. • Post Cosmetic Surgery Makeup: Lycogel Camouflage is the only makeup that can be applied directly to your skin following cosmetic surgery. This is good to know if you are planning dermabrasion, laser resurfacing or another type of skin treatment. It promotes healing and covers redness and bruising. It contains prescription strength Lyco, a complex that attracts 4X more oxygen to your skin. Visit Lycogel.com for more information. You can get 3X more oxygen to your skin without a prescription by purchasing Dermacia, a makeup that clears up acne and prevents wrinkles from forming. You can wear it while swimming, working out, or in the spa! For more information, visit: Celebrity-Beauty-Secret-Goldmine.com/dermacia.html • Nutritious Soda: Get rid of soda to drop pounds. If you must drink soda, try seltzer water with fruit juice or Nutrisoda by Airforce. Nutrisoda has no sugar, sodium, caffeine, fat, or aspartame. It contains only 15 calories per can. Each sip has a full gram of dietary fiber, amino acids, and B vitamins. These are good for digestion, immune system function and combating fatigue. Visit Nutrisoda.com. • Laser in a Bottle: Laser in a Bottle, by Dr. Brandt is a favorite of celebrities for the tightest and firmest skin they can have without an actual laser or knife. Visit DrBrandtSkinCare.com. • The Beauty of Color: This big beauty book by supermodel Iman is a must have for women of all ethnicities. It will help you find the perfect beauty products for your skin tone and hair texture. • Women of Color Hair Products: Ellen Lavar’s line of hair products was used on the Oprah Winfrey show during a makeover episode featuring, women of color beauty expert, Iman. • Beauty Editor Diet Secrets: Paige Loren Herman, a beauty editor for New Beauty magazine employed the following tips to drop pounds quickly: She brought a crate of oranges to work in case of hunger. This is a great way to avoid vending machines. She stocked up on 100 calorie snack packs, a great way to feed your snack craving while controlling your portions. She ate a lunch of sliced turkey on one slice of whole grain bread instead of a sandwich. She also added Fibersure to many foods including coffee, yogurt and almost everything hot. She took fiber capsules with each meal to be sure she got the essential 25 grams of fiber a day. She also took a 30 minute walk each morning. • Microdermabrasion at Home: There is a new device called Ageless Beauty Dermavie. This device has the same exfoliation power as clinical microdermabrasion but you can use it at home! It helps get rid of rough skin texture, fine lines, acne and abnormal skin pigmentation. Visit Nordstrom.com for more information. • Beauty Queen Secrets: Entertainment Tonight followed a group of beauty queens as they checked into Now Salon for a beauty marathon. This is a great way to 16 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place • by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology prepare for a big event. The first thing they did is step on the Body Master, an exercise machine that shakes your backside which burns fat. They then relaxed and pampered themselves with a hot rock therapy treatment. Finally they got a bronzy golden glow with a treatment called oxygen tanning. Save Face: If you want to look young for as long as possible then quit smoking or don’t start. Studies suggest that as smokers age they will look an average of 6 to 10 years older than their non-smoking peers. And treating your body like a chimney will only deplete your energy and make you feel winded so you will be less likely to work out. If you need to quit smoking there are many options. The latest medication innovation is a pill that blocks the receptors in your brain which make smoking seem pleasurable. It is called Chantix (varenicline). There is also clinical data which suggests that it can block the pleasurable effects of alcohol which can assist people who need to quit drinking. Heavy drinkers also age more rapidly then their peers. Marilyn Monroe reportedly rarely ever had a drink for this reason. Ask your doctor if a prescription is right for you. • Best Wrinkle Blocker: Beauty editors advise that if you want to keep wrinkles away for as long as possible, be sure to apply sunscreen 365 days a year. The only sunscreen worth your money is the kind that protects you against both types of UV rays. Look for a sunscreen from Neutrogena containing Helioplex, such as Dry Touch SPF 55 w/ Helioplex. • Perfect Self Tanning: Celebrities like Jennifer Lopez, Kelly Ripa, and Madonna use Fake Bake self tanning products. Visit FakeBake.com for more information. For mistake proof self tanning buy a bottle of St. Tropez Tanning Essentials Self Tan Remover. Visit StTropezTan.com for more information. When self tanning, be sure to exfoliate before hand. Always wear plastic gloves and wash your hands after application. Celebrities also enjoy airbrush or spray tans, such as the service provided by Mystic Tan. • Immovable Mascara: Blinc’s Kiss Me mascara is a favorite among celebrity makeup artists. Why? Because once applied it forms tiny tubes around your lashes. The tubes cannot run, smudge, clump or flake, even if you cry or rub your eyes. It holds lash curls longer and makes your lashes appear thicker and longer. It is great for sensitive eyes and can be removed without eye makeup remover! • Thin, Barely-There Brow Fix: Rogaine for Men can assist you with growing thicker eyebrows. This is a trick used on celebrities. • Thicker, More Beautiful Hair: The HairMax LaserComb uses low level lasers to help stimulate hair growth and to make existing hair thicker. It is one of the only hair restoration products with FDA approval and has been Time Magazine’s Invention of the Year 2000. Use it 3X a week 10 to 15 minutes a day for best results. Visit LaserComb.net. • Hair Removal at Home: The Epila is a laser hair removal device, the first of its kind for home use. It allows a similar hair reduction as an in-office laser procedure. It works on every skin pigment. It will not work on white or gray hair, however. If the process is not pain free you can switch the device to a lower setting. Visit Epila.com.au for more information. 17 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Temporary Tan: If you don’t want to commit to a days-long self tan, test drive one with a temporary bronzer. Tarte Sunburst Beaded Bronzing Lotion provides a golden glow that you can shower off. It is a moisturizer with bursting bronzing beads. Visit Sephora.com for more information. • Ageless Beauty Marvel Mini: This product allows you to benefit from NASAdeveloped LED (light emitting diode) light at home. This device mimics three light therapies for the skin. Red light increases collagen production, blue light helps clear up acne, and green light minimizes pigmentation problems like sun damage. According to New Beauty magazine, green light is also being looked at as an agent to minimize sebaceous glands and bacteria that cause acne. Visit Nordstrom.com for more information. • Celebrity Event Prep: When celebrities need to lose weight for a big event they eat 5 small meals a day. This is the best way to keep your metabolism revved up. “Embrace the food”, says Dr. John of VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club. “When you don’t eat you put your body in starvation mode and you don’t lose anything”. • Virtual Stylist: Jenny McCarthy’s secret to looking great is a website called Netaporter.com. She told Allure magazine that you can buy coordinated outfits there that mannequins model for you. So you will always look pulled together. Another great store for displaying coordinating outfits together is New York & Company. There may be one at a mall near you. • Diet Delivery: If you live in Orange County Los Angeles you can have gourmet food from Susan’s Healthy Gourmet delivered to your door. Visit SusansHealthyGourmet.com. This is the diet food used on Celebrity Fit Club! If you live in certain parts of New York, New Jersey, Connecticut or southern California you can have the Zone Diet delivered daily to your door. Weekly delivery is available to 48 states. Visit ZoneChefs.com for more information. The former is the diet used on Celebrity Fit Club and the latter is the diet which includes many celebrity fans, like Jennifer Aniston. If these diets are out of your price range, try Nutrisystem.com for a less expensive delivery diet. Jenny Craig has just gotten into the diet delivery game too! Jenny Direct is a program that delivers Jenny Craig food right to your door! The program also provides you with a personal consultant, to keep you motivated, that you can communicate with over the phone. Visit JennyCraig.com. Delivery diets provide you with food in perfect portions. No shopping and no measuring! • Long Hair Makeover: If you want to makeover your hair but don’t want to lose length, tell your stylist to “reshape” your hair, instead of cutting off the length. Instead of describing how much length they should snip off, point to your hair instead to prevent them from lopping off too much. • Chemical Hair Makeover: If the hair makeover you want includes chemicals, such as highlighting, coloring, or a perm, bring a picture with you. Describing what you’d like is too risky for such a drastic service. • Makeover Magic: Instead of letting the gal behind the counter “work her magic on you”, give her some help. Tell her if you are prone to acne or what your skin concerns are so she can pick out the perfect foundation and concealer. Tell her what 18 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology features you are concerned with, like, “My nose is too wide”, or “I want my lips to look fuller”. Or if you are an eternal optimist (he, he) tell her what features you love about yourself so she can enhance them. Also tell her what you are able to recreate at home or before work realistically. • Free Makeovers: At some Bloomingdales your makeover is free with the purchase of three items. At some Chanel counters you don’t have to purchase anything. • Highlight Help: If you want to get rid of your highlights, your colorist can paint the hair color over them and leave the natural hair alone. While the highlights grow out you will need to use color-safe shampoo. • Enhance Hazel Eyes: To make hazel eyes pop celebrity makeup artists use gold shadow on lids, brown shadow in the crease and line the bottoms of the eyes with bright green liner. • Safe & Dark Hair: Once you go darker with your hair color, you can’t go back without damage. So to test the waters find a colorist who can do a “gradual reversible darkening process over several sessions with semi permanent dye”. Never use so-called “temporary color” that you can buy in the drugstore. I learned this lesson the hard way in eighth grade. I had colored my hair blonde but was curious to see what it would look like if I died it dark brown. So I used a temporary dark brown hair color that claimed it would wash out. It turned my hair almost black with green and gray highlights. I was too embarrassed to go to school! I ended up having to chop off most of my hair because it was fried. • Soft Evening Look: Instead of black eyeliner, try brown navy or gray. If you choose brown you can pair it with gold eye shadow which you can blend up to your eyebrows and brown shadow in your crease. To soften your lip look try mauve instead of red lipstick. • Get Rid of Facial Hair: The only way to get rid of facial hair permanently is with electrosis, a procedure which is expensive and painful. Luckily there are other options! Vaniqa is a little-known prescription cream which gets rid of facial hair as long as you keep using it. The other option for getting rid of facial hair is to invest in laser hair removal, which is about $200 per session on average. You will need to have 5 sessions and then at least one per year to maintain results. Vaniqa is also proven to assist with hair reduction when combined with laser hair removal. • At Home Peel Products: If you are serious about getting your greatest skin possible, Dermalogica Daily Resurfacer, Fresh Appleseed Peel, and Trish McEvoy Even Skin Beta Hydroxy Pads are among the most powerful facial peel products you can use at home. • Jennifer Lopez’s Youth Secret: Jennifer Lopez has been known for slathering La Mer, a facial wrinkle cream all over her whole body. La Mer is a celebrity favorite. La Mer Lip Balm is great for preventing sandpaper lips in dry climates. • Silky Soft Skin: If your skin is super-dry and your moisturizer doesn’t seem to be working, you may want to exfoliate your skin more often, because it may be dead skin and not dry skin that’s causing your problems. To exfoliate, use either a cleanser with microbeads (fruit scrubs may contain jagged edges that can tear your 19 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology skin) or a wet wash cloth. • Concealer of Beauty Experts: Cle de Peau concealer is a favorite of beauty experts because of its texture and ability to seemingly blend into the skin. • Skin Care Beauty Brush: Sharon Sternheim of Zitomer, which is a beauty boutique, says that her favorite beauty regimen is using the Clarisonic Skincare Brush with All in One Facial Cleanser with Toner by Dr. Gross. She recommends a regimen of cleansing, toning and protecting in the morning and cleansing, toning and using a treatment in the evening. • Hair Brush of Celebrities: Mason Pearson is the brand favored the most by both celebrities and their hairstylists. What makes these brushes special is that they massage your scalp while you brush, which enhances hair growth. Plus the handle is ergonomically correct which means it is oh so comfortable! • French Women Don’t Get Fat: This diet book claims that there is lifestyle guidance behind French women’s tendency to stay slender. Learn what French women do in their daily lives to keep the pounds off. Visit Amazon.com for more information. • Skinny Bitch: Believe it or not, there is a book called Skinny Bitch. This book claims to give the diet tips of the very envied Hollywood slim set. Remember when reading any diet book to weed out the tips that don’t sound like they implement the sound rule of “moderation” as these could be dangerous. Visit Amazon.com. • Prescription Strength Odor Protection: If you sweat profusely and this makes you feel insecure, suffer no more! Models have always worn men’s deodorant during runway shows because they are stronger than women’s brands. If you need even more protection, try Secret Clinical Strength which contains a prescription strength ingredient or visit your doctor and get a prescription for Drysol. Another option for those who can afford it is a Botox injection in the area that sweats (underarms, feet, etc…). • Fresh Breath Fix: If you have bad breath you should invest in a tongue scraper, which you can get at your local drugstore and scrape your tongue morning and night. You can also use an inverted spoon. If a powerful mouthwash like Listerine does not do the trick, mix 1 part hydrogen peroxide with 4 parts warm water and swish this mixture around in your mouth before spitting it out. You should avoid smoking, garlic and onions. Chewing on parsley helps to neutralize the offending odor. Green and black teas, and cranberries also help to neutralize offending odors. If you want to purchase a commercial product for treatment of your bad breath, look for these two ingredients: Cl02 and Zinc Acetate. • Celebrity Secret for Tight Skin: Beat up some egg whites and then spread them on your face. Leave them on for 20 minutes. Then rinse your face with cool water which also tightens pores. Joan Crawford used to splash her face with ice water every morning. If you have the money another celebrity favorite for tight skin is the Mario Badescu lifting mask. • Red Carpet Routine: Lisa Rinna from Dancing with the Stars prepares for big events by cutting down on starches and carbs and exercising with harder workouts a 20 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology few weeks before. Then a few days before she gets her hair cut and colored and self tans. • Celebrity Hair Product Faves: Celebrities love the Kerastase brand of shampoos and conditioners. • Wake Your Eyes Up: According to the Black Book of Hollywood Beauty Secrets Jessica Simpson lines the rim of her eyes with a nude pencil for an instant wake up. • Get Rid of Red Spots: While microdermabrasion helps smooth the texture of your skin, it doesn’t help all that much with red spots. What does help are photofacials. A series of 3 to 6 photofacials should get rid of those red spots. Check your yellow pages under “dermatologists” or in the “physicians” section to find this service. You can do combination therapy and get rid of texture and pigment problems by getting photofacials, peels and microdermabrasian treatments. For temporary treatments you can try dabbing Visine applied with a cotton ball on the red spots, which works for some people, or make a paste out of water and oatmeal, apply it to your skin, leave it on for 15 minutes and then rinse. Oatmeal calms the skin which helps it look less red. You can also apply green concealer, under your regular concealer or foundation to counteract the red. • Instant Face Lift: Celebrity makeup artists apply blush in one of three ways: Applying blush under your cheekbones in a darker shade will slim your face. Applying blush, higher than usual, about an inch under the bottom of your eye will lift the whole face so it doesn’t look tired. Applying blush to the apples of your cheeks really doesn’t accomplish anything, but it is the best place to put blush if you do not need to slim or lift your face as this is where people naturally blush. • Big Event Blemish Buster: Celebrities get cortisone injections when they get a big blemish days before an event. You can get cortisone injections at your dermatologist’s office for a reasonable price. The blemish should be flat within 24 hours after the injection. There are some dermatologists that provide this service on an emergency basis. Check your yellow pages. • Blemish Blaster: Celebrity makeup artists use a paste that they make with dry yeast and water on their client’s blemishes. This dries up bacteria and heals the break up quickly. Add water to the paste one drop at a time so that doesn’t get too runny. You can also apply an ice cube to the blemish for a few seconds and then immediately apply Visine. The ice helps shrink the size and the Visine helps with redness. Then apply concealer with an eye shadow brush. Apply in thin layers, building them up until the blemish is covered. • Eye Lifting Treatment: You can treat the puffy skin and dark circles under your eyes right at home! All you need to do is to make some chamomile tea, dip some potato slices in the cooled tea and then dip the slices in a bit of aloe vera gel. Apply the slices to your eyes and wait 20 minutes. • Jennifer Lopez Obsession: Another favorite product of Jennifer Lopez is Night Rejuvenate whole body cream. She stocks up on it • Nicolette Sheridan’s Anti-Aging Secret: Nicolette, who is still gorgeous after 40 has a fountain of youth secret. She removes her makeup as soon as she comes 21 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology home. That way her skin begins repairing itself as soon as possible. The longer your skin is in repair mode, the longer you will look young. It is best to air out your skin for as long as possible. If you must wear a foundation to the gym or the pool use Dermacia because it covers what you want it to cover but it repairs your skin by oxygenating it while you’re wearing it. Plus it’s water resistant for up to 90 minutes so you won’t sweat it off. This is the only makeup to wear while you sweat. Visit Celebrity-Beauty-Secret-Goldmine.com/dermacia.html. • Sauna Secret: Actress Sanaa Lathan gets her body ready for the camera by going in the sauna for ten minute intervals, alternated with ten minutes of dipping in the pool. She says it makes you lose water weight, makes your skin beautiful and gives you the same endorphin rush you get from working out. Any natural rush you can get is a huge mood booster! • Colorful Concealers: Have you ever seen concealer sticks in strange colors and wondered why? Concealers in odd colors, when worn under skin tone colored concealer and foundation, can counteract colors on your face that you want to downplay. Green concealer counteracts red for covering red spots. Purple or mauve wakes up a sallow complexion by counteracting yellow. Yellow counteracts purplish tones in your skin. Don’t be afraid to experiment, just be sure to thoroughly cover the odd colors or people will wonder if you are applying for clown college. • Seductive Secret: The Sedu Flat Iron is the hair iron of choice of Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Aniston. This iron can turn hair of any type or condition, such as African American, curly, damaged, frizzy, etc…and turn it into straight, silky, glossy hair. Visit: Celebrity-Beauty-Secret-Goldmine.com/sedu.html • Pizza Lovers: If you want to look hot and get healthy but love pizza, take heart! There’s a solution for you! There is fat free pizza available which is just 200 calories! Visit Pizzafree.com for more information. Speaking of pizza, if you just have to have a few slices at your local mom and pop shop, be sure to blot the top of the pizza slice with a napkin to instantly remove 100 to 200 calories of grease. If you are doing Weight Watchers, keep in mind that an average slice of plain cheese pizza is about 6 points. Do not eat more than two at a time (12 points) if you want to have enough points left to enjoy the rest of your day. Remember, you can also try satisfying this craving by spreading tomato sauce and sprinkling low-fat or fat-free cheese on top of an English muffin and then toasting it in your toaster oven. Weight Watchers, Lean Cuisine and Nutrisystem all offer low-fat pizzas. • Workouts for Sweat Detesters: Hate sweating? Don’t miss the benefits of exercise in order to keep sweat at bay. Just pick an alternate activity. Those who dislike sweating can swim laps, do swim aerobics, or can pump their arms and legs while holding on to the side of the pool as the water acts as natural weight. Or you can run through a sprinkler in your backyard like when you were seven. You can also take a light paced walk, but make it a long one to make up for your slower pace. Or take a fast paced walk. You shouldn’t start sweating until the end and you could either end the walk in the shower or in the pool (you might want to shower first). My personal favorite Sweat Detester workout is to spend the day at a water park. You get exercise swimming away from the waves in the wave pool and by walking up all those stairs to get to the tops of the waterslides! 22 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Best Dry Shampoo: What is a dry shampoo? Ever get a last minute invite but did not have time to wash and dry your hair? As long as you are not more than a few days without a washing you can do what is called a dry shampoo. Angelina Jolie’s hairstylist uses baby powder on her roots to give her hair volume. This also mops up grease so hair looks instantly clean. Just be sure to rub the powder in to your scalp and hair until it disappears and then brush the hair out. If you prefer to try an actual dry shampoo product try Klorane Dry Shampoo which is supposed to be the best brand. A dry shampoo is also useful if you prefer to wash your hair every other day, as most hairstylists advise against washing your hair everyday. • Stop Pantyhose Runs: Always carry clear nail polish and a travel hair spray if you will be wearing pantyhose. Lightly mist the pantyhose up and down with the hairspray before you wear them. If they begin to run, put a touch of clear nail polish over the run to stop it in its tracks. • Model Makeup Mist: According to Diane Irons, former model and author of The World’s Best Kept Beauty Secrets, models use hairspray for more than just hair. To keep their makeup in place, models lightly mist their face with hair spray. This should only be done if you close your eyes, hold the can at an arm’s length from your face, and shield your face from the spray. Do not try this if you have sensitive skin. • Thick & Shiny Hair Pill: Dr. Andrew Weil, who is considered a health guru, has some advice for thick and shiny hair. He advises taking Gamma Linoleic Acid (GLA) supplements which you can buy in nutrition stores. In six weeks you should notice a difference. • Pouty Lips: For pouty lips, bush them with a tooth brush. It will plump them temporarily. Then top with some gloss. Try Bonne Bell Dr. Pepper lip gloss, a favorite with celebrities! • The Wonder Tea: Wu Long tea is a favorite of self-actualized stars like Rachel Ray and Oprah Winfrey. Any go-getter (or git-r-done) girl needs this amazing self improvement tea. It helps Rachel and Oprah lose weight, gives them energy, boosts their immune systems, prevents aging, prevents acne, and promotes feelings of well being. Adding a tablespoon of honey is great for an extra energy bonus. • Weight Loss Secret Weapons: If you want to lose weight, there are several items you can invest in over time that will give you an edge over the competition: a tape measure, a scale, a food scale, a 6 to 8 oz water bottle, a pedometer, a Weight Watchers at Home kit, measuring cups and spoons, a bathing suit, jogging pants, sneakers, workout gear, any Best Life Diet product and any Five Factor diet or fitness product. • Tropical Coconut Therapy: Coconut oil has been scientifically proven to combat protein damage in your hair. Just comb some coconut oil into the middle and ends of your hair and wait 30 minutes. It actually gets into your hair shaft and bonds to the protein in it. Then shampoo the coconut oil out. You only need to do this once a week! Add your coconut oil treatment to your tropical themed evenings. Sit by your pool or by some tropical scented candles and sip a pina colada (non-alcoholic pina coladas are really good with a swirl of raspberry), while you listen to one of the following songs: Thunder Island by Jay Ferguson, Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet, I 23 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Can See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash, or any Caribbean steel drum instrumental. Feel free to wear a lei. • Big Event Hair: For your best hair possible, for special occasions only (as this tip is not practical for daily use), wash your hair in Evian or Fiji bottled water. It makes a huge difference in the beauty of your hair. If you want this benefit everyday, get a new water filtration system for your shower. • Slick Celebrity Hair Secret: Kristen Davis from Sex and the City has shared her great hair secrets with the authors of The Hollywood Black Book of Beauty Secrets. She says drinking lots of water is crucial for great hair. She also uses palm nut oil, which you can buy in health food stores, as a conditioner. She said that everyone with long hair needs to try this idea because it makes hair super shiny! Other celebrity hairstylists use cold-pressed wheat germ oil soft gels and break them apart to condition the hair. • Lasting Hair Color: When you spend money on coloring your hair you want it to last. Hair color can get brassy or ashy if left to fend for itself. Always use shampoos and conditioners formulated for color treated hair. The sun and heat erase hair color so stay out of the sun or wear a hat. To combat heat, wash your hair with the coolest water possible and blow dry on the cool setting to encourage color longevity. • Creating Cat Eyes: “Cat eyes”, also known as “almond shaped eyes” are eyes that are long (as opposed to round) and turn upward at the outer corner. (Think Barbara Eden in I Dream of Jeanie). If you have this eye shape you can accentuate it to look extra sexy. Carefully line the inner lower lid with a black eyeliner pencil. To further accentuate an almond shape you can line the outer third of your upper lash line with black liquid liner and “wing” the end of the line in an upward diagonal motion to “lift your eyes” at the outer corner. Apply two coats of mascara to the lashes in this outer section to further develop your cat eyes. For a softer look you can use gray, brown or navy eye liner. You can use pencil on the upper lash line instead of liquid eyeliner. You can also coat the eyeliner on your upper lashes with an eye shadow in the same color to soften the look. • Enchanting Eyes: There are several ways to get bewitching, mysterious eyes for a special occasion without using black eyeliner. Line the inner lower lash line with a pencil in the same color as your eyes, or in a shade in the same color family (i.e. blue eyes can be lined in navy, green eyes can be lined in teal). This will make your eyes pop. You can also line the inner lower lash line with a contrasting color (i.e. mauve or purple for green eyes, brown eyeliner for blue eyes). This will make your eye color more intense. If you’d like to make your eyes appear bigger, line the inner lower lash line with a white pencil. • Stay Young Secrets: Super models use surgical tape to tape an X between their eyebrows. This is to prevent wrinkles while sleeping. This is because some people make strange facial expressions while they sleep or press their face against the pillow. It is also a great idea to use a satin pillow case because cottons ones form wrinkles which can cause wrinkles in your skin, believe it or not! Satin pillow cases stay smooth so your skin stays smooth. Silver screen siren Joan Crawford actually pulled her skin taut at night with a head band and extreme amounts of facial tape and bandages to keep her skin wrinkle-free for as long as possible. She would then 24 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology plunge her face in a bowl of ice water in the morning. If you ever get bored, rent Mommie Dearest and watch Joan’s morning beauty ritual. You will gasp in amazement as Joan devotes such hard work to beauty before she even gets to the MGM hair and makeup chair. Joan’s ritual is too extreme though. How could anyone really get adequate beauty sleep with all those bands on her head? • Goodbye Greasy Girls: Oily haired people rejoice! You can solve the greasy hair problem with a trip to your local grocery store. White vinegar will chase the oil right out of your hair. Just mix 1 part vinegar with 4 parts water and pour on your hair after you shampoo it. For a fresh and fruity scent substitute lemon juice for the vinegar. • Sparkly Eyes: To get eyes that sparkle like jewels, look for an eyeliner pencil in a light shade, such as light pink, yellow or white with little sparkles in it. Line your inner lower lash line with this. Or you can use an eye shadow with sparkles in it to coat your full upper lid. This is known as shimmer shadow. Try sparkly violet, brown or gold. • Hollywood Lashes: Would you like big gorgeous lashes for a special event? When two coats of mascara are not enough you can do like Hollywood does- get eyelash extensions. These look like natural lashes but they are so big and gorgeous that they transform the look of your eyes, turning you into a red carpet worthy diva. Eyelash extensions are affordable and can last for days or weeks. You will probably pay between $50 and $200 for your eyelash extensions, depending on the quality and length of time they last. Eyelash extension fans like to have them applied for special events, such as a prom, wedding, first date or tropical getaway. For more information, visit: Celebrity-beauty-secret-goldmine.com/eyelash-extensions.html • False Eyelashes: If you would like stunning Brigitte Bardot-esque eyes for an evening out without the expense of eyelash extensions, you can try false eyelashes. So what do Hollywood makeup artists know about applying false eyelashes that normal people don’t? They use dark lash glue. Most people use white lash glue which looks sloppy and is a dead giveaway. Warning: False eyelashes need to be applied exactly right or they can fall off or look silly. Don’t worry, this page will give you step-by-step instructions for that perfect application you desire: Celebrity-beauty-secret-goldmine.com/false-eyelashes.html. • Queen Latifa’s Secret: Queen Latifah has admitted to wearing Spanx undergarments to streamline her shape under her evening gowns. Spanx undergarments flatten your figure in all the right places so you don’t have to worry about bulges and rolls. These undergarments are so comfortable that you can even wear them under casual clothes. Even slender stars wear them for that added security. The Higher Power High Waisted Power Panty is a celebrity favorite and has been used in makeovers on shows like The View. Most celebrities wear 2 of these garments under their clothes. Visit Spanx.com for more information. 25 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Enhance Your Appearance from the Inside Now that you have been informed of the ultimate way to improve your appearance from the outside, you must also learn what the very best ways are to enhance your looks from the inside. Here are the hottest tips on how to become beautiful from the inside out: • • • • • • Exciting Exercise: Exercise for 30 minutes most days of the week (5 days). If you think it is boring then invest in an Ipod. This way you can hear all your favorite daydream-inducing songs, or songs that get you inspired, or make you feel motivated. Or take your workout outdoors with a stroll or bicycle ride. When you get your blood pumping you oxygenate your cells. This assists your body in its repair processes, which keeps you beautiful longer. And exercise obviously gives you a great figure! Exciting Water: Drink plenty of water. Get 8 to 10 glasses of water per day. If you think water is boring, add some lemons, limes or oranges. Or drink sparkling water. If you must add flavoring try Crystal Light (the lemon and orange flavors are the best tasting in my opinion). The singer Jewel drinks a gallon of water a day to keep acne and wrinkles away. This is the surefire way to keep your skin clear and youthful. Beautifying Food: Eat beautiful food. Make sure to get plenty of fruits and vegetables. You should also get your recommended allotment of protein, calcium, carbohydrates and fat. In the world of beauty you are what you eat. Don’t worry, I will break this down for you and give you some great nutrition and eating advice straight ahead, so it will be no problem getting all of these everyday. Beautifying Supplements: Take a multivitamin supplement. Centrum has adequate amounts of all the necessary nutrients. This will help you to build beautiful hair, skin, and nails. Hollywood Secret: Many Hollywood celebrities and models for generations have advocated colon cleansing as a way to clean and beautify from the inside. Legendary Mae West attributed her nearly wrinkle-free complexion at age eighty to frequent enemas. Check with your doctor first to see if this is right for you. Sexy Smile Secrets: Brush your teeth twice a day, floss and rinse with Listerine for a beautiful smile. Recent studies show that the health of your mouth affects the health of your body, which in turn affects beauty. Visit Revitin.com for more information on how to get a super healthy mouth. If you want super white teeth, don’t bother with those teeth whiteners they sell in stores. Either get the extra strength kits that your dentist sells or have your dentist whiten them with a laser. The kit is definitely cheaper, but the laser will get them the whitest they can get! 26 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Celebrity Makeup Secrets How to get your best look ever with celebrity tips and products! Why does celebrity makeup always look so perfect? Celebrity makeup artists have tons of tips and techniques for applying makeup that most people never heard of! Want to be one of the few in-the-know? We’ve gathered some great ones for you right here! Here you will learn some great makeup application secrets to get your most flattering eyes, eyelashes, eyebrows, concealer, foundation, blush and lips ever! Celebrity Eyes: Makeup artists have many tricks up their sleeves to make celebrities’ eyes pop! They first put an eye shadow primer or some foundation on the eyelids, so that the eye shadow has something to hold onto. For eye shadow colors, they’ll select three shades which are variations on the same color (i.e. light green, medium green, and dark green), or in the same neutral color family (i.e. beige, brown, and dark brown). They will put the lightest color on the brow bone, the medium color on the lid, and the darkest color in the crease. This will emphasize the shape of the eyes and make them stand out! Other tricks for glammed-up, red carpet eyes include lining the lower inner rim of the eyes with a white pencil to make them appear bigger and applying shimmery clear lip gloss to the top eyelids to make eyes sparkle. Celebrity makeup artists also apply shimmer powder under the brow bone to draw more attention to the eye area and they always smude eyeliner with a Q-tip to make it look less severe or smokier. To create cat-eyes (like Brigitte Bardot in the sixties or Pamela Anderson today), celebrity makeup artists use dark brown or black eyeliner to exaggerate the end of the eye so it turns up slightly. If you decide to go this route, remember that smudging is the key to perfecting this look! Jessica Alba's makeup artist Garret Gervais uses two mascaras to give her long, clump-free lashes. The first is a lengthening and separating type and the second is a thickening kind. Garret uses Blinc Kiss Me mascara (available at Blinceinc.com, $25.00) for the lengthening and sepating type and Make Up For Ever Volumizing mascara in No.2 (available at Sephora.com, $19.00) Celebrity Eyelashes: Celebrity makeup artists also have many secrets for eyelashes! They always curl eyelashes first to maximize length and curl. They then dust them with powder which makes the eyelashes look much thicker after the mascara is applied! Celebrity makeup artists will often use two coats of mascara, the first will be a lengthening or separating formula, and the second, a thickening formula, to max out eyelash potential! Mascara clumps are combed out between coats. 27 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology For special occasions celebrities may use false eyelashes (their secret is dark eyelash glue) or may have eyelash extensions applied which are semi-permanent variations. Celebrity Eyebrows: Celebrity makeup artists know that enhancing the shape of the eyebrows is one of the most dramatic ways to improve a celebrity’s appearance. Celebrity makeup artists use Treezerman brand tweezers most often to shape eyebrows. They tweeze the hairs under the arch of the eyebrow to further emphasize it and pluck away any strays. Eyebrows are filled in with the feathery strokes of an eyebrow pencil in either “blonde “or “taupe” for blondes, “auburn” for redheads, and light brown or medium brown for brunettes. Only black-haired gals should fill in their eyebrows with a “dark brown” eyebrow pencil” and nobody should use a black eyebrow pencil as it looks too severe. A secret weapon of celebrity makeup artists is brow sealant, which keeps this brow look in shape all day. Celebrity Concealer:: Amazing Concealer by Amazing Cosmetics is favored by many celebrity makeup artists. Concealer is usually applied with an eye shadow brush. It is applied in thin layers which are “built up” until the blemish is covered. Concealer typically is applied before foundation. For really red blemishes, makeup artists often use a green concealer first which tones the redness down under foundation. Celebrity Foundation: Laura Mercier Foundation is very popular with celebrities like Eva Longoria. Foundation is usually applied by celebrity makeup artists with a sponge for the most natural looking coverage. Celebrity makeup artists use a foundation primer which is worn between your moisturizer and your foundation. This product refines the skin and helps foundation stay in place all day. If you can’t spring just yet for celebrity products, try Revlon’s Color Stay Foundation with Soft-flex, which stays in place all day and comes in an extensive variety of shades. Celebrity Powder: Celebrity makeup artists almost always use loose powder in a translucent or skin matching shade. They will apply it with a puff and then dust it away with a big brush, or will apply it with the big brush, being sure to shake off any excess first. Then the celebrity will carry around a pressed powder or blotting papers in her evening bag for touch ups. Some celebrities skip powder all together for their dry skinned clients. Powder is great for keeping foundation in place for the longest period of time, however. Celebrity Blush: Nars and Stila blushes are very popular with celebrity makeup artists. While these are powder blushes, there are other makeup artists who prefer gel blush because of the dewy, healthy glow it imparts. Blush is never applied with anything but a big, fluffy brush. It is applied on the apples of the cheeks in circles, or is swept from the apples to the hair line. 28 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Shimmery blushes like Nars blush in Torrid can make the cheeks appear to be glowing, according to celebrity fans. Celebrity Lips: MAC lipliner in Spice is the shade thought to most closely resemble natural lip color for most people and is a favorite of celebrity makeup artists. Celebrities often use lip-plumping products like City Lips and LipFusion which have both won awards from Good Housekeeping! Lip gloss is applied at least to the center of the bottom lip to make it look fuller. 29 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Celebrity Hair Secrets How to get your best hair color ever with celebrity tips and products! Why does celebrity hair always look so perfect? Celebrities have every tip, technique, and product for hair in the world at their disposal. So what are the secrets to hair color bliss? Are they available to us in the real world? Yes they are, and they’re all captured for you below! Celebrity hair color always has two or more colors in it to give it depth, unlike drug store colors with their flat unidimensionalism. A celebrity’s hair texture is successfully styled into something smooth and shiny if not glass like. There is no frizz or brassiness in sight. So how do they do it? Read on… What tips, techniques and products are used when coloring celebrity hair? Celebrities get their hair colored by a professional who specializes in European hair color or corrective color, or is a great artist. The hairstylist will “foil” the hair, using two or more colors to give the hair depth. Hairstylists will then put a “glaze” on the hair to seal in the color, to further tone the color, and to make the hair shine. These services are available in many salons. Usually the foiling with glaze is done every 2 to 3 months and can cost anywhere from $100 to $175 on average. A root touch up and glaze is done every month and can cost between $25 to $100 on average. Jessica Simpson’s silky, shiny hair is the result of regular use of PHYTO Huile d-Ales Intense Hydrating Oil Treatment, Dry Hair. Her hairdresser uses it before he colors her hair to restore moisture to dry, damaged hair. This product is said to be great for those whose hair suffers a lot of breakage. It can also be added to some home hair color kits. How do celebrities keep their colored hair looking fresh, without brassiness between colorings? Celebrities love Artec color depositing shampoos! These banish brassiness and keep their hair color looking fresh! Drew Barrymore told Allure magazine: "The best color shampoos I've discovered lately are the ones called ARTec. I use half Sunflower, half Walnut. Gorgeous. It comes out like a bronzy caramel chestnut." Jenna Elfman has changed her blonde hair to red with ARTec' Strawberry Color Depositing Shampoo. Minnie Driver uses Cocobean to give her brunette hair depth, and fashion designer Donatella Versace mixes White Violet and Lemon Flower to keep her keep her hair platinum blonde. If the hair color has really faded the celebrity will have their hair glazed which tones down the color and make the hair shine between colorings. Celebrities use salon shampoos and conditioners from brands like ARTec and Bumble and Bumble which are formulated for colored hair because these help hold in the hair color for as long as possible and contain protective sunscreens (the sun can bleach out the color, so they wear hats). 30 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology How do celebrities keep their colored hair looking healthy, smooth and shiny? Celebrities use deep conditioners with protein in them very frequently to keep the hair texture from becoming too porous and rough. They create shine and smoothness by using ceramic irons on the hair, such as the celebrity favorite, the Sedu Flat Iron, or they curl the hair with gel, steam, or Velcro rollers, which hold curls longer than electric rollers. They trim off split ends with regular trims and have the ends of hair rolled under to hide them. Finally the hair is misted with a silicone based shine spray to complete the “red carpet” hair look! Wow! Professional hair color can get expensive! So what is the closest we can get to a salon-style home hair coloring regimen? For your two-color hair, you can now buy a great product right in your neighborhood drug store! Beauty experts consider L’Orel Couleur Experte home hair color kit to be the best hair coloring product in the aisle because it gives you two colors for that multidimensional salon look! You first color your hair with a base shade and then paint on highlights with an easy to use tool. For your glazing treatment, try Clairol Nice and Easy Color Boosting Glaze in a shade recommended for your hair color. Use shampoos and conditioners for color treated hair. Your one splurge should be for the ARTec color depositing shampoo, as brassiness and color fade are no fun! 31 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Celebrity Dieting Secrets What are the latest dieting trends among celebrities? What are the latest trends in Hollywood for losing weight? • Sometimes celebrities go with the cult-following diets. Sarah Michelle Gellar was rumored to have used the cabbage soup diet, Kylie Minogue, used the grapefruit diet, and Liz Hurley has tried the watercrest soup diet. Weight loss professionals advocate steering clear of fad diets and recommend Weight Watchers as the most effective diet, however. • Many celebrities are drinking acai drinks as of late to aid in dieting. • Eva Longoria and Terri Hatcher are fans of hoodia for their weight loss boosts. • Kirstie Alley recently dropped over 60 pounds as a spokeswoman and follower of the Jenny Craig diet plan. She recently revealed her new figure by wearing a bikini on Oprah. • Penelope Cruz credits her slender figure to sleeping for 12 hours a day. This way she sleeps her way through potential food craving-filled blocks of time. • Britney Spears’s weight loss is credited to her switching from Cheetos to Chicken. She also started to work out again and practice dance moves. Making up choreography and dancing are both great, fun, creative ways to lose weight. • Pam Anderson brushes her teeth and snacks on sugar free gum to avoid falling into the food craving trap. • Oprah is said to use Wu Long Chinese Slimming Tea. This tea is more powerful than green tea in antioxidants and metabolism revving capability. It also helps clear acne, improved mental and physical well being and strengthens teeth! It is truly a wonder tea. • Drew Barrymore likes to snack on strawberry and lime flavored sugar free candy to keep food cravings at bay. • Jessica Alba has said, "Everyone in my family is heavily overweight. I wanted to be healthier, so I started cooking for myself when I was 12 years old. When I eat breakfast, I’ll have an egg-white omelette and fruit, or cottage cheese and a peach. For lunch, I’ll have a salad. Dinner is usually vegetables and chicken or fish. During the day I’ll have some dried fruit, or I’ll have a chocolate or strawberry frozen yogurt. I don’t really eat desserts or bread." • When asked about her workout routine, Jessica Alba said, "I try to work out every day for 45 minutes to an hour. I start out on the treadmills or elliptical machine for 10 to 15 minutes to get my heart rate up to 180 beats per minute. Then I do 50 32 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology lunges and crunches. Next I get back on the machine for another 10 minutes. Then I work on shoulders, biceps and triceps. I do that nonstop for four sets. When I work out, I have energy and feel good about myself." • Gwyneth Paltrow, Cate Blanchett, Nicole Appleton and Kate Moss have followed the dieting and detoxing regimens of Dr. Joshi. Gwyneth Paltrow sought his help when she was having a hard go at losing baby weight. He gave her a list of everything she can and can’t eat to get back to her pre-baby figure. Gwyneth used to eat only fruits, grains and vegetables but now eats bananas, chicken, turkey, vegetables and white fish on this new plan. • Heidi Klum got in Victoria Secret Fashion Show shape, eight weeks after her baby was born by following the strategies of David Kirsch, the author of the Ultimate New York Diet and the Ultimate New York Body Plan. Liv Tyler is a big fan of a health-enhancing juice from his line of food products. His books prescribe a healthy, great-tasting diet, with exercise, and an attitude adjustment. • How the Rich Get Thin and French Women Don’t Get Fat are two diet books that purport to have little known secrets used among the elite for dieting success. • Protein snacks, are popular among celebrities. Snacks like apples and cheese will keep you full and feeling satisfied between meals. Be sure to stick with low-fat cheese. • Many celebrities go with a protein rich breakfast. You could go with egg white omelets, yogurt with nuts mixed in, or smoothies with yogurt, milk or protein powder. Source: Celebrity Diet Secrets, E Channel Special 33 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology High Tech Beauty What is the straight dope on all this techno beauty talk I am hearing about lately? Non-surgical Nose Job A needle deposits filler materials into the areas right above and right below the bump on your nose to smooth your profile. Minimally Invasive Cheek Lift This procedure pulls the area under your eyes and cheeks up so that you appear younger and the skin appears smoothed out. Breast Enlargement- What Works and What Doesn’t? There are many items on the market that claim to increase breast size without surgery. These include pills and creams. Don’t waste your money on these. There is no clinical data backing up their effectiveness. Breast enlargement surgery has many health risks and often looks and feels unnatural. So are there any other options? The Brava® Breast Enhancement and Shaping System is the only non-surgical breast enhancement product on the market with published clinical data about its effectiveness. The Brava® system uses a process known as “tissue expansion” to increase the size of your breasts and lift them. This is accomplished by the wearing of a device that applies gentle tension on your breasts, which causes cells to replicate and produce more breast tissue. There have been two clinical trials which were published in the journal of Plastic & Reconstructive Surgery, the results of which were presented to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). The system is not regulated by the FDA, however. The average increase in breast tissue for clinical study participants was 1 cup size, although the company claims that the results can range anywhere from ½ cup size to 2 cups sizes. The Brava® system requires you to wear a special device over your breasts for 10 hours a day, for 10 weeks. Also, there are certain women who cannot use the system, such as those who have breast-fed in the last 6 months, those under 18, those who are pregnant, or those who have had a mastectomy. The company says that the system is safe to use, with the main side effect being minor skin irritation. So should you pay the $2,500 to purchase this system? Well, unfortunately, this is one of those things that I would have to equate to going to the casino and playing the slot machines. After researching this system, and reading blogs where users comment on their experiences, it is quite clear that this system does not work for everybody. So you may end up spending $2,500 and your cup size may not increase at 34 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology all! While it does not appear to be a scam (as some bloggers report great satisfaction) it does appear to be a gamble- it may or may not work for you. Many bloggers report that the device cannot be hidden under a big baggy shirt and therefore they felt the need to make social excuses and stay in their homes. Other bloggers report side effects such as back pain, rashes, and itching. So this seems to be an all or nothing experience. Either you will be very happy with the results or may find this to be a very frustrating experience resulting in a loss of time and money. So what are the odds that the system will work for you? This is hard to say, because the Brava clinical study started out with 17 women, but 5 were excluded from the study. The study reported that "all participants were very pleased with the outcome…." But this does not account for the opinions of these 5 women. The system used to only be available through physicians. So to help you decide whether to “take a chance” on this system, here is the experience of Dr. Curran J. Smith, of Cosmetic Surgery Associates of Seattle, Washington. The following is an excerpt from YourNaturalBeauty.com: “I have provided the system to over 25 women since July of 2001, with 13 far enough along in their treatment to be able to judge their response. My initial findings included the following: 1. Six were pleased with the outcome and seven were displeased. 2. None described the device as comfortable. 3. Two patients had significant adverse events requiring discontinuation of therapy. One developed a systemic allergic skin reaction to the silicone domes and the other developed a tender, hard, nonsuppurative subcutaneous mass from dome pressure-fortunately, there was no skin breakdown and the mass is spontaneously resolving.” So to summarize, of 13 women, six were happy, while seven were not. What do you think of those odds? Here is another quote from Dr. Smith, also excerpted YourNaturalBeauty.com “It has also become readily apparent from my experience, and the experience shared with me by others, that the recommended minimal wear-time of 10 hours a day for 10 weeks is insufficient for most women, with the actual wear-time requirement closer to 12 to 14 hours a day and, possibly, 12 to 14 weeks.” Some people find the device uncomfortable and not fit for the public, so use this information to help you decide if the Brava® Breast Enhancement and Shaping System is worth your time and money. Don’t have that kind of time or money? Instead of putting silicone in your body, you can safely put it inside your bra. Here is the product description for Curves® Breast Enhancers: “For more than 10 years, Curves® have been the #1 choice of Hollywood actresses and the world's top supermodels. That's why Curves® became Hollywood's Best Kept Secret® and its Ultimate Special Effect. Curves® are the softest, most natural and highest quality silicone gel breast enhancer available. Curves® have been worn by actresses in more than 100 Hollywood films, prime-time TV shows and soap operas. They chose Curves® because they're the best. Curves® are the original silicone breast enhancer pads that look, feel, weigh and even bounce like real breasts. More then 500,000 women in more than 115 countries like you can't be wrong.” –Amazon.com. Curves® Breast Enhancers cost about $89.95. They come in Peach and Mocha colors. Although Curves® are slip 35 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology resistant, at Amazon.com you can purchase smooth cup t-shirt style pocket bras that safely hold your Curves®! There is even a 5-way convertible strap bra so you can wear them with nearly everything! Recently it seems that having smaller breasts is no longer considered a liability. While huge silicone breasts may have been all the rage a few years ago, the current climate seems to be one which embraces breasts of all sizes, even small ones. So the best option is to be proud of what you have naturally, as all sizes have their fans. Safe and healthy is always the most attractive option! Wrinkle Release Wrinkle release is a minimally invasive procedure which may be your long term alternative to Botox. While Botox results can last for a few months, wrinkle release results can last for years. So although the price tag for the wrinkle release procedure is a lot more than a Botox treatment, it can be much more cost effective. Wrinkle release breaks apart depressed scars and wrinkle lines with a special wire. The procedure takes about an hour, is more effective than laser resurfacing, and has a minimal recovery time. The procedure can be done on the nasolabial folds (the lines that run from the corners of your nose to your mouth), marionette lines (the lines that run from the corners of your mouth to your jaw line), or on forehead lines and furrows. Wrinkle release also can be a great option for those with crater-like acne scars. The average cost of the treatment is between $2,500 and $4,000, depending on which areas of the face are treated. Possible side effects include bruising, infection, bleeding under the skin, and swelling. Wrinkle release is a new procedure, so there are only a small amount of doctors practicing it at the time of this publication. While most of the practicing physicians are located in California, wrinkle release may be coming to a facility near you soon. ThreadLift® A ThreadLift® is a less invasive, non-surgical option for those who want to lift areas of their face where sagging or drooping skin is a problem, but do not want a traditional facelift. A ThreadLift® can be done on your brows, jowls, mid-face, or neck. The “lift” is the result of putting non-dissolving sutures under the skin. Possible side effects include bruising and swelling. The sutures can stay in permanently, do not require stitches, and the results can last years. You can always add more sutures later if you need them. The best candidates for this procedure are between the ages of 35 and 50 years old. The procedure is performed under local anesthesia. The results are significant and are said to be more natural looking than a traditional face lift, although not as dramatic. Radiesse™ Replacement Therapy 36 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology While collagen can be used to plump the lips or fill wrinkles, the results usually last for just months. With Radiesse ™ Replacement Therapy (also known as Radiance™), you can have the same results, but they can last for years. The material used is a synthetic form of a mineral which is found in our teeth and bones so the body does not perceive it as “foreign”. Therefore there is not a potential for allergic reaction. The material is injected with the aid of a numbing cream or local anesthetic for comfort. Side effects are very rare and tend to disappear over time. These include pain at injection, bruising, skin redness, nodule formation 37 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Aging Gracefully Defy Your Age On the February 5, 2007 episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show, which celebrated women who defy their age, a 41 year old woman who looked much younger than her years and was full of energy, attributed her youthful looks and zest for life to Tae Kwon Do and Kombucha Tea. Tae Kwon Do is a Korean martial art which emphasizes kicking and punching. Kombucha Tea has been described as an ancient Chinese “fountain of youth elixir”. It has been said to do everything from preventing wrinkles, to giving energy, to lessening anxiety. But be careful! Kombucha Tea can be harmful to you if too much is ingested. You should never consume more than four ounces, at a maximum of twice per day. If you consume more, you run the risk of becoming severely ill. A Fountain of Youth On the same episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show, which celebrated age-defying women, a 70 year old woman, who could have been mistaken for someone in her thirties took the stage. Oprah asked her what her personal fountain of youth was. She said that meditation has given her “inner-bliss”, and has showed her the secret to doing everything “with passion, excitement and joy”. Meditation reduces stress which is a major contributor to aging. She specifically recommended Transcendental Meditation®, however, this type of meditation requires taking a four day class which costs about $2,500. There are many other methods of learning meditation, which are inexpensive. She also recommends that those interested in looking and feeling young at 70, “moisturize, moisturize, moisturize”. Another age-defying woman gave Oprah her anti-aging advice. She said that she doesn’t think about her age. She does not let it dictate what she does and does not do. She gets her youthful zest for life by following her dreams. She does what she loves to do. And she loves to makes a difference in other people’s lives. Healthy Living from the Inside Out: Every Woman’s Guide to Real Beauty, Renewed Energy, and a Radiant Life. At 45 years old, Mariel Hemmingway has finally learned to turn off the voice in her head that has always told her that she was not good enough or pretty enough. She has written a book about living a healthy, active, fulfilling life, called, “Healthy Living from the Inside Out by Mariel Hemmingway”. “Mariel Hemingway's Healthy Living from the Inside Out is a revolutionary individualized program that teaches us how looking and feeling great are just a few simple choices away. No more bossy diets or impossible exercise routines. Instead, Mariel divides healthy living into four foundational areas where we can isolate the issues we all face and start making the best decisions for our life. 38 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Resources: AgeDefy.com, YourNaturalBeauty.com, Amazon.com, MyBrava.com, Bravargh.Blogspot.com, The Oprah Winfrey Show, February 5, 2007. 39 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part One: Body Chapter 2 How to Indulge the Goddess Within, by Indulging Your Five Senses Stimulate Your Five Senses: Every single day is a chance for revelry on some level. Your body comes with five senses. From now on it is your duty to indulge them all on a daily basis. It’s not selfish…it’s appreciation. Indulge Your Sense of Sight: Here are some ideas for surrounding yourself with exotic beauty. Buy Yourself Flowers: Buy a fresh bouquet and place it in the center of your dinner table. Don’t wait years for your boyfriend to buy you flowers, as you drop hints in vain. Treat yourself periodically to delivered beautiful bouquets by calling 1-800-Flowers. Appreciate the Ocean: Go to the ocean whenever possible. You will not find anything else in the world as visually appealing. Its waves hypnotize and lull you, the sun shines down coating the ripples with glimmer and glitz, and the blue-green color has been known to induce feelings of serenity. I remember visiting the ocean one day when the sky and sea were the same surreal color of robin’s egg blue. If you are lucky enough to live by the ocean’s charms, be sure to appreciate this majestic masterpiece of natural beauty more often. Visit the Beach at Sunset: There is nothing more gorgeous and serene than seeing pink, peach and scarlet light bouncing off of sparkling crests of lilting waves. A trip to the beach as the sun is setting is revitalizing and glorious. Check your local newspaper for sunset times. Take a Mansion Tour: Visit the palatial mansions of Newport, Massachusetts, where you can view the imposing, majestic beauty of the architecture from outside, but may also tour the insides of the mansion as well. Marvel at the mosaic ceilings, Louie XV style ballrooms, and ornate, stained glass skylights. Imagine the lavish parties that were thrown in these aesthetically pleasing quarters, by such luminaries of the gilded age as the Vanderbilts. 40 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Create an Exotic Aquarium: Buy a fish tank and fill it with exotic, tropical fish in bright colors and allow yourself to become mesmerized. Watching fish go about their daily business is a scientifically proven relaxation technique. No time to care for an aquarium? Visit novelentertainment.com and order the Ambient Aquarium DVD to turn your television into an exotic seascape. One of my favorite things to do when I visit the Mohegan Sun Casino and Spa in Uncasville, Connecticut is to marvel at the beautiful fish swimming in patterns at the huge aquarium arch entrance to the store Oddysea. Don Dangling Earrings: Choose an intricately designed, ornate set in a vibrant color like pink or light blue. Don’t be afraid of the size, the bigger the better. Feel free to wear your danglers with a dress for a night on the town or with your favorite pair of jeans. They are more versatile than you might imagine. Donning this kind of eye candy will make you want to sneak a peak at your reflection throughout the day. And don’t worry, you can find a lavish set for under twenty dollars, at almost any clothing store in the mall. Have a Psychedelic Day: Collect a rainbow of colored sunglasses. Try golden lenses to make a drab day look sunny and bright. Try blue to really bring out the sky. Or try pink or purple to instantly turn your surroundings into a psychedelic dream world. Float Candles in a Pink Sea: For special occasions, why not make the bathroom look magical? Fill the bath, then color the water pink with food coloring and place floating candles on the surface. (A special occasion doesn’t have to mean a time when guests are over; why not treat yourself like a guest in your home?) Pick Your Goddess: Inspire your everyday life with an image of a beautiful goddess in a breathtaking scenic painting. Perhaps the visual will provide the inspiration you need on a daily basis to be the ultimate version of yourself. Visit jonathonart.com and pick the goddess that reminds you most of yourself. Log On to a Masterpiece: Take a break from the monotony with a virtual visit to an art gallery or museum. Log onto metmuseum.org and wander the halls of New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art. Or take a trip to Paris’ most prominent museum and take in the works of such luminaries as Leonardo da Vinci, Rubens, and Vemeer. Want to take the masterpieces home? Visit Art.com and have your favorite paintings put in coordinating frames. Here you will find décor-enhancing visions such as Monet’s water lilies, Renoir’s bathers, and Degas’s ballerinas. Stock Up on Eye Candy: Pick up some exotic additions to your décor at Pier Imports, which specializes in stocking eye candy from around the world. Illuminate Your World: In the daytime, push the curtains back and let in as much cheerful sunshine as possible, and at night, illuminate the house with soft, flattering-toyour-features yellow light bulbs. (This light gives off the same radiating, warm glow of candlelight.) 41 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Live by Candlelight: Live by candlelight or use the fireplace on a regular basis. There is something mesmerizing and intoxicating about candle-lit rooms with flickering shadows dancing on their walls. Remember: Candle fans have to be extra vigilant about fire safety. I believe every candle home should have a fire extinguisher and two or more smoke detectors. Don’t use too many at once and make sure they are firmly planted in sturdy containers. Collect Beauty: Capture the images that seduce or enthrall you. Carry a camera around while on vacation and photograph the architecture, gardens and lighthouses. Rip photographs from magazines that inspire you and collect these in a photo album. Draw Your Dreams: Exercise your ability to think visually by sketching your dreams when you wake up. Trying to translate messages from your subconscious into a tangible picture is surprisingly challenging, but can be very inspiring. Join the Happy Hands Club: Do you spend your day at a desk typing? You might as well make your hands and wrists more interesting, since you will be looking down at them throughout the day. Indulge in a manicure, and feast your eyes on a pretty gem on your finger, or a beautiful bracelet dangling on your wrist. There are many inexpensive pieces of jewelry that are very visually stunning. Take an Architectural Tour: Visit the architectural wonders of the world- the ones that have that fairytale-like old world charm about them, such as the Sistine Chapel and St. Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican, or the medieval wonder that is the city of Prague, Czechoslovakia. Visit centuries old gothic cathedrals, Victorian gingerbread houses, antebellum mansions, Grecian statues and even awe-inspiring, modern-day skyscrapers. Appreciate the ornate, intricate creativity of the designs and wrap a fantasy around and within the stained glass windows and gothic doors. I love to take in architectural beauty, as it is a visual feast and a journey in time rolled up into one transporting experience. Seashell Sojourn: Collect seashells the next time you go to the beach. Challenge yourself to find the most beautiful ones. Display them at your next tropical themed celebration. Discover Your True Colors: See your world in a whole new light! Instead of dimming and darkening the colors of the outdoors as other sunglasses do, Tru Color Sunglasses protect your eyes and the skin around them from both UVA and UVB rays without sacrificing color and brightness. The outdoors looks crisp, clear and colorful through these innovative lenses! Other great features of these sunglasses include wrap-around style lenses to protect the skin by the sides of your eyes from aging, magnetized frames so you can fold your sunglasses around your purse strap or car visor and they stay put, and a guarantee that you will never lose your sunglasses or they will be replaced. They are very stylish and come in many colors. Visit TruColor.com for more information. 42 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Indulge Your Sense of Sound: Here are some ideas to help you create a beautiful soundtrack to your life. Silence is Golden: Firsts and foremost, always remember that while speech may be silver, silence is truly golden. Be sure to incorporate as much of it into your life as possible. Don’t be one of those who leaves the television on all night for “atmosphere” or “company”. You are shortchanging yourself. Do you really want all that Madison Avenue brainwashing creeping into your subconscious? Turn it off and get a good night’s sleep! Listen to the Angles: The Mystic Harp is a collection of beautifully arranged harp instrumentals. This is one of my favorite albums for relaxation; the melodies are so pretty. You will swear that angles are ascending and descending in the space above your head. You can purchase this at Amazon.com. Relax and Unwind: Want to experience Peace Through Music? Log onto Soundings.com and browse through a comprehensive selection of relaxing music. Discover Romantique Noir: I have fallen in love with a band called Faith and the Muse. This male-female duo includes all-around-music man Michael Faith and mythologymindful songstress Monica Richards. The melodies are intricate, and both dark and ecstatic at once. Monica Richards, an artist, poet and scholar prefers the French term romantique noir to describe the band’s sound, which means “dark romance”. My favorite tracks are Sparks from the album Elyria and the title track from Anwynn Beneath the Waives. Both are available at Amazon.com. Be a Music Explorer: Just my opinion, but if you rely only on the top 40 countdown and MTV to guide your musical acquisitions, you are severely shortchanging yourself. Ya see, I have this theory: Since the advent of music videos, looks, trends, and quirkiness have become even more of an indicator of who will be signed by record companies than talent and good, creative songs. What a shame and a rip off to the true music fans! What to do? Check out YouTube.com, college radio shows, and independent label magazines for recommendations. Musical Escapism: Need something mind-opening for a real escapist odyssey while soaking? Bjork’s Debut is absolutely mind-altering. This CD offers intoxicatingly seductive beats, baselines and vocals. The lyrics are quirky and intense. The melodies are intricate and exotic. My favorite tunes are the seductive Come to Me and the inspiring The Anchor Song. To expand this compliment, any Bjork CD is absolutely exceptional and innovative. Her voice is so passionate and surreal that she easily makes my eyes water when I hear her sing. Change Your Brain Waves: Unwind with a new CD, Natural Stress Relief from Solitudes. This CD combines ocean and instrumental sounds and uses frequencies shown to produce a calming effect in the brain. The sound of the ocean is one of my favorite sounds. To order, log onto solitudes.com. 43 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Tunes For Toning: You can find the perfect workout music by logging onto powermusic.com. Music on the Move: Invest in a skip-free CD player, MP3 player, or Ipod and bring it everywhere. There are an infinite number of beneficial uses for it: wear it to the gym, wear it while taking walks, listen to audio books with it, listen to language lessons while weeding the garden, wear it while shopping, or switch to a more relaxed brain wave by listening to classical music. The great thing about a skip free CD player, MP3 player or Ipod, is that you can wear it. This convenience results in a multitude of multitasking options. You could do physical and mental exercise at the same time. You will be able to squeeze tons more entertainment or education into your schedule each day! And your everyday life will suddenly have a soundtrack and ambience to boot! Enchanted Breezes: Hang wind chimes in front of windows, by doors, or outside. You will hear enchanting sounds whenever breeze comes your way. Mental Seduction: Poetry can be thought of as an auditory indulgence. Attend a poetry reading or read poetry aloud to someone who will appreciate it. As you unravel the mystery of the meaning, pay special attention to the skilled use of language by a genuine wordsmith. Even something as simple as alliteration can bring great pleasure to the tuned in ear. Sample the stylings of Shakespeare, Wordsworth, and Elliot. Harp-inspired Healing: The Healing Harp is a collection of beautifully complex , soaring baroque-style melodies. This is the CD to put on anytime you want to relax but stay mentally alert and creatively energized at the same time. The music is invigorating and relaxing at the same time with a ballroom era feel. Daydreams of palaces and princes may ensue. This is available at Amazon.com. Water fountain Tranquility: Purchase a mini water fountain. The sound of trickling water is truly serenity-inducing. Visit indoor-water-fountains.com. 44 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Indulge Your Sense of Smell: Here are some ideas for revitalizing and relaxing through the power of scents. Aromatherapy Awakening: Aromatherapy really is an effective tool for inspiring energy or relaxation. Aura Cacia Aromatherapy is a leading manufacturer of 100% pure and natural essential oils and quality aromatherapy products. Browse their selection at Auracacia.com. Aromatherapy: An Illustrated Guide by Clare Walters provides an introduction to the therapeutic powers of aromatherapy. Scented Seductress: Invest in a bottle of real perfume. I love Miracle by Lancome. I had rubbed my wrist on a sample card in a magazine one day, and then went outside to sit on my deck. The wind caused the delectable scent to keep wafting past me. I was so seduced I went out and bought a bottle that night. “Scentimental” Stories: Scent Stories is a gadget that “plays” different scent themes, so you can relax while being surprised by which scent is featured next. It’s a nice way to add variety to your scent appreciation experience. Potpourri Paradise: There is nothing quite like the warm, comforting aroma of potpourri boiling in a pot on the stove. Bake Cookies: Aromatherapy in theory, is not just limited to essential oils and bath products. Bake a batch of sugar cookies to instantly transport yourself to childhood at Christmas time. The scents of nutmeg, vanilla, cinnamon and egg nog can also accomplish this mission. Studies show that scent is a very powerful way to evoke emotions as scents are connected to memories. Burn Scented Candles: Burn grapefruit or peppermint candles when you want to wake up and energize, or lavender or vanilla when you want to relax and revitalize. I love to visit the Yankee Cancle Shoppe in Massachusetts. There is a huge room filled with candles of every color and every scent imaginable. You grab a clear plastic box, which is molded with resting places for a multitude of candles of your choice, and fill-r-up. Change the Season: Some people keep their Christmas tree up all year long to fight their depression. A different approach is to remind yourself of that time of year through scent. Burn scented candles or take a whiff of an essential oil that reminds you of the holidays. Try the scents of pine or peppermint. Flowery Feelings: Flowers are also powerful sources of aromatherapy. You should literally “stop and smell the flowers” as often as possible. Each flower’s scent has a different benefit. Sniff lavender flowers if you want to relax . Smell violet flowers if you need better concentration, and smell roses if you want to feel sentimentally happy. 45 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Indulge Your Sense of Taste Here are some ideas to treat your mouth to some “princess-level gustatory indulgences” on a pauper’s salary. Become a Healthy Gourmet: Stock up on cookbooks featuring recipes that are both healthy and full of flavor. I have included some of my all-time favorite dishes at the end of this chapter. Be a Food Explorer: Regularly try new items from the ethnic or foreign section of the grocery store. Some of my favorite discoveries: papaya nectar, falafel, couscous, and Thai peanut sauce. Try Exotic Fruits and Veggies: If I had judged a kiwi by the way it looked I never would have tasted one of my all-time favorite fruits. Next time you are browsing through a cookbook try a dish that calls for kale, snow peas, or another veggie you’ve never tried. Or try adding guava, mango, papaya or star fruit to your smoothie. Savor the Flavor: Take in the aroma before the first bite. Make an effort to feel the texture and appreciate the colors of the food. Be a Culinary Adventuress: Try a new restaurant once a month. Besides a main course, treat yourself to either an original appetizer or dessert. Treating yourself to a restaurant dinner is an investment in both gustatory pleasure and ambience. Take a Wine Tasting Course: Take a wine tasting course in your community. Or browse through Wine for Dummies, available at amazon.com. Disclaimer: I am not recommending this for those under age 21 of course or for those who do not drink. And it’s wine tasting not wine chugging. Spice Things Up: Why not buy an attractive spice rack and add a new spice to your collection each week. Savor the new spice and discover its special unique power. For example, ginger is said to heighten feelings of pleasure and intensify the power of your senses, while coriander is known to induce feelings of euphoria. An added bonus: Spicy foods rev up your metabolism, so add a few more jalapeno peppers to your homemade salsa or some red pepper flakes to your pizza or stuffed shells! Chocolates for the Goddess: Godiva chocolate offers some delectably good treats via the internet or your local mall. Log onto godiva.com and spoil your palette. Raise the Creamy Quotient: Spoil your taste buds with frozen custard. The recipe includes more eggs than ice cream so the texture is frothier and fluffier. Try some by logging on at cremecremaillere.com. Or just indulge in a creamy feeling. Try a cream-based soup like cream of broccoli or cream of zucchini. Or sample a smoothie, whipped up with milk or yogurt. 46 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Indulge Your Sense of Touch: Here are some ideas to make every day a sensually soothing experience. Become a Massage Junkie: A massage may feel luxurious but it is an indulgence you should arrange to experience as often as possible, as it relieves stress and tension. Massages don’t have to be expensive. Find a certified massage therapist by contacting The American Massage Therapy Association. Log onto amtamassage.org. You have many choices: Choose a cranio-sacrial massage to alleviate the stress at scalp tension points. Select a deep-tissue massage if you need concentration on deeper layers of your muscle tissue. A reflexology massage is similar to acupressure of both your hands and feet while a shiatsu massage will focus acupressure on your body. A sports massage is a deep tissue massage that treats the muscles used in athletics. A Swedish massage is a complete body massage designed to energize and relax your body at the same time. It uses kneading, various friction techniques and long slow strokes to treat the more superficial layers of your muscles. A hot stone massage uses smooth, round heated basalt rocks, which are glided over your skin with soothing essential oils. The focus is on your back, neck and feet. If you’re strapped for cash, ask if they offer thirty minute sessions. On average you will pay a dollar per minute. Feel the endorphin rush as the massage gets the oxygen circulating in your body! Rent a Whirlpool: Get a room at a hotel with a whirlpool and let those jets massage you as you log in some quality hydrotherapy time. Sleep in Heat: Get your zzz’s under a heated blanket, for a peaceful, extra-comforted slumber. Sleep soundly as you snuggle the extra-soft blanket. This is especially enjoyable during a thunder or snow storm. Massage Yourself: You can get a massage everyday if you use one of the hand-held variety of self-massagers. The Happy Massager is a smiley-faced wooden sphere attached to four spokes holding four smaller wooden spheres at the ends. Once you use this you will be addicted and longing for the relief it provides. Or try the new Dolphin Massager, a plastic tool shaped like a dolphin. The arched shape and position of the fins allow you to apply pressure to two muscles at once. It is $15 and available at organicbathco.com. Take a Sensual Snooze: “Silkify” your slumber by investing in luxurious sheets and blankets. Try silk or satin sheets or buy Egyptian-cotton sheets with a thread count of at least 250. The higher the thread count- the smoother the sensation against your skin. Try a chenille blanket for extra plushy softness. Also try an untraditional mattress, like a Sleep Number Bed or a TempurPedic to see if it would make a “life-enhancing” change in your sleep quality. Relax with Reflexology: By applying pressure to different points on your feet you can calm feelings of tension in your entire body. Find a specialist in your area at reflexology.org. Chill Out: To make the most of your sense of touch, take temperature into consideration. For ultimate refreshment, refrigerate your toner and apply on a hot summer day. This will not only refresh you but will energize you as well. I am also a big fan of those portable fans with built in misters. These are great for lying out on the beach or for standing in a long line 47 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology at Disney World. Be sure to add fresh water to your mister and keep it in the cooler or refrigerator for a few hours before you plan to use it. Melt Nervous Knots: On the flip side, heat relaxes you. Place a heating pad on your stomach to melt away tension and to help you breathe more fluidly. Then take deep breaths. Can’t sleep? Instead of tangling yourself in bed linen for hours, put a heating pad on your stomach and the nervous knots will untie themselves allowing you to sleep. Jacuzzi for the Average Josephine: For the girl who wants to live like a princess on a pauper’s salary, I recommend Conair’s Quiet Thermal Spa Bath Mat. It massages and revitalizes you with heated bubbles from 300 aeration vents. For info visit conair.com. Or be sure to rent a hotel room every now and then with a Jacuzzi. The revitalization is worth the extra coins! Enjoy a Revitalizing Foot Bath: Soften your skin while relaxing your feet by mixing sea salt (or Epsom salt) with hot water in a footbath. Add five or six drops of essential oils for energy or relaxation. The Ultimate Foot Massage: Here is a super indulgent treat which incorporates touch and heat into the mix. Warm a scented body lotion in your microwave to a comfy temperature. Add salt or sugar to the mixture for added exfoliation. Massage your feet, thoroughly and your knees, elbows and hands if you wish. Rinse thoroughly with warm water. Stress Relieving Scalp Massage: Mix 2 drops of lavender oil (to relax and unwind) or peppermint oil (to energize and stimulate) into ¼ cup of fruit oil (such as apricot, which is available in health food stores). Massage this mixture into your temples in a circular clockwise direction. Close your eyes. Aaaahh!! Keep a Texture Treasure Chest: Buy a pretty trinket box and fill it with crystals, beads, seashells, and pebbles. When you need sensory stimulation, run your hands over the items and revel in the contrast of textures- the smoothness of the crystals and the ridges of the seashells. Get Cozy: Invest in a goose down comforter. This is the most comfy, snuggly thing you will every have the pleasure of wrapping around your body. Sleeping with a down comforter is akin to sleeping on a cloud. To up your cozy quotient, purchase a conforming mattress pad, like one of the “memory foam variety”. The only downside: you will want to sleep until noon. Heat Your Towels: What is more luxurious than letting a warm blanket envelop you after a shower? Don’t have a maid to rush a fresh-from-dryer-towel to you after your bath? If you have a little extra cash to throw around, invest in a heated towel rack. 48 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Multi-Sensory Experiences The following ideas will indulge your sense of sight, sound, touch/heat, smell and taste all at the same time. Bonfire Party: Have a party around a bonfire, which will provide you with not only a stunning visual (sight) but a source of luxurious warmth (touch/heat). Play your favorite CD and dine on your most “special occasion food” (which of course encompasses smell as well as taste). Candlelit Restaurant: Go to a restaurant that plays beautiful music (sound, smell and taste) wearing your softest, coziest sweater (touch). Be sure to go to a place that offers a charming candlelit table (sight). Luxury Bath: Relax in a warm bath and massage your arms, hands, legs, and feet (touch/heat). Listen to a soothing CD (sound), while you stare at flickering, burning candles (sight). Pour your favorite essential oil under the running water (smell). Snack (taste) off a platter of appetizers. My preferences include shrimp with cocktail sauce, chocolate covered strawberries (try Shari’s Berries, available at berries.com), cheese and grapes. Breakfast in Bed: Arise as the sun is coming up, as the sky is striped in vibrant colors (sight). Play relaxing music (sound) as you stretch your muscles and snuggle into your soft blankets (touch). Indulge in a revitalizing breakfast (taste and smell). There are some breakfast ideas in the nutrition section of this chapter. Fantasy Sequences: I love to watch The Song Remains the Same. This Led Zeppelin visual and sonic masterpiece captures a Madison Square Garden appearance (circa 1973), and features what were known back in the classic rock day as “fantasy sequences”. The melodic rock soundtrack is matched with surreal images. I especially like the visuals during the song No Quarter, which sort of remind me of a psychedelic sequel to The Headless Horseman. Also favored by me are The Song Remains the Same and Rain Song sequences, which show the young knight Robert Plant on a quest to rescue the damsel in distress from a medieval castle. Pink Floyd’s Live at Pompeii is another masterful marriage of sound and vision. While I love all the tracks and their vivid visuals, my favorite is probably Careful With that Axe Eugene, which showcases psychedelic volcanic eruptions. I also love the ancient art which depicts the panic that set in, right before Mother Nature wiped out the ancient Pompeian civilization, on the emotional faces of its inhabitants. All you retro fans will appreciate these! 49 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part One: Body Chapter 3 How to Be Super Healthy, Clean and Well Rested Ever come across great tips in magazines about sleeping better, grooming more efficiently and how to get the most from your doctor’s visits but then forget everything you learned as soon as you close the magazine?: Well, they’re all here, all the latest greatest tips for health, grooming and sleeping! No need to make a magazine clipping scrapbook! Beauty Sleep Secrets Good sleep has many benefits. Trust me, you will feel better all day long if you learn the skills of getting a good night’s sleep! When combined with a healthy lifestyle, good sleep will help you to live longer. Good sleep habits have been shown to fight disease and illness. Sleep well and you will add energy to your day, handle stress more effectively, be able to conquer more tasks on your to do list, and improve the overall quality of your life! And as we all know, great sleep helps tremendously in the beauty department, keeping wrinkles away and allowing skin to repair itself. The following tips will ensure sound slumber: for you, Sleeping Beauty: • Establish a Strict Bedtime: Going to bed and waking up at the same time everyday will help condition your mind and body to sleep regularly. • Nap Only on Occasion: Napping can prevent your body from falling asleep later. It’s best to get a full night’s sleep which means 7-9 hours and nap for no more than 30 minutes a day. Otherwise you will feel groggy and grouchy. • Sleeping Beauty: A sleep mask can help ensure a sound slumber. • Exercise Aid: Exercising can be used as a relaxation agent, but do not exercise within 3 hours of bedtime. Exercising late will keep you up at night. If you exercise regularly you will fall asleep effortlessly and will not need cat naps. • Stomp out the Smoke: Avoid nicotine. This stimulant effects the body’s ability to sleep well. • Beware of Your Beverage: Avoid foods and drinks containing caffeine such as coffee, tea, chocolate and soda within 6 hours of bedtime. 50 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Be Carefree: Manage your stress level. Worrying about your problems can disrupt your snoozing, so make a rule: stop worrying within an hour of bedtime. • Try Relaxation Meditation: Meditation and progressive relaxation are among two of the most effective ways to fall asleep. Here are very abridged, generic instructions: To meditate, sit “Indian style” on the floor. Relax your neck, shoulders and back. Close your eyes and choose a peaceful word to focus on such as “peace”, “love” or the ever-popular “Om”. Meditate on the word by shutting out all other thoughts. Whenever a worry or nagging voice comes into consciousness, refocus on your word of choice. Do this before going to bed. To progressively relax, lie in your bed and start by scrunching your toes, hold for 10 seconds, and then relax them. Then move up to your knees, squeezing the muscles, holding for 10 seconds and then letting go. Move to your thigh muscles, then your butt, then your stomach (crunching and letting go), then your back (arching and letting go), then your shoulders (lifting to your ears and releasing), then your head (leaning back and forward), and even your face muscles (scrunch your face and let go). And then you will say “Aaahh” and fall blissfully into the nocturnal abyss. • Sleep Secrets: Not fond of meditating or progressively relaxing every single night? There are other ways to relax to add to the mix. Take a warm bath to soothe your aching muscles. Rub a hand held massager vigorously across your muscles for extra relief. Have a mug of warm milk. The amino acid tryptophan will lull you. A cup of warm green tea will soothe your soul while mopping up free radicals in your body with its abundance of antioxidants. Also try reading or listen to relaxing music. • Bedtime Snack: A light bedtime snack high in carbohydrates may help you to relax. Avoid heavy, spicy or high-sugar foods. A plain bagel would be ideal. • Forgo Fluids: Avoid drinking liquids before bedtime or Mother Nature may call in the wee hours of the night. • Nix the “Nightcap”: An alcoholic drink may initially bring on sleep, but will most likely cause you to wake up and have trouble falling back asleep. Besides, who needs a hangover! • Be Comfortable While You Sleep: Change your bedding regularly so it feels and smells fresh. Be aware of your room’s temperature. If it’s too hot or too cold your sleep will suffer, so crack open your window or grab some extra blankies. If it’s too light in your room when you go to bed, invest in “eye shades” and hang a thick quilt or towel over the window. • Hide the Time: Move your alarm clock so that you can’t see the time from your bed. Knowing what time it is can create restlessness and anxiety as it can cause you to worry about the fact that you’re still awake and don’t have much time left to sleep. After all, you really only need to hear that obnoxious beep to know when to spring from the sheets. • Get Into Your Position: Lay down to sleep in the same position that you find yourself in when you wake up. This will make falling asleep feel more natural. 51 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Change Activities: If you find yourself lying in bed trying to fall asleep to no avail, don’t waste anymore time. Instead of doing nothing, do something calming like reading or listening to music. This will make falling asleep easier. • Check Your Mattress: Remember to flip a mattress regularly. If it’s sagging in the middle you may need to replace it. • Call the Experts: If you just can’t fall asleep, call 1-800-Shut-Eye for free advice. • Let Your Pillow Lull You: Mist your pillow and linens with 2 Peas in a Pod’s new Pillow Mist. With lavender and chamomile herbs you’ll surely be lulled to sleep. Visit 2peasinapod.com. 52 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Sensational Showering Showering can do more than merely clean you. Falling water is charged with negative ions, which are scientifically proven to induce a feeling of well-being. But there are many other ways to make the most of your shower: Steamy Stretch: The steamy shower heat warms up your muscles and improves your blood flow. This is the perfect time to stretch, as long as you lay a rubber mat on the floor to prevent slipping. Breathe Better: Practice deep breathing in the shower as the steamy heat will facilitate it. Smoothing Suds: Exfoliate the skin on your face and body by rubbing it with a ordinary washcloth or a body scrub. Scrub Away: Scrub your feet vigorously with antibacterial soap and water to ward off fungal infections. A top makeup artist stocks up on those yellow and green sponges that you can buy in bulk at stores like Costco. She exfoliates the bottoms of her feet with the green side. Shower Experience: With the right lighting, music, body scrubs, heat, and some scented body wash, showering can be a multi-sensual experience. There are plenty of scented body washes that you can get for under $2.00 at your local grocery store, or you can indulge and purchase something sweet and fruity from Bath and Body Works. Classically Clean: Shower to energizing classical music in the morning or soothing classical lullabies if it is near bedtime. How about a mixed CD of downloaded showering favorites? Ambient Shower: If it’s the evening you might want to shower or bathe in dim light to get your mind and body prepared for slumber. This can also be a very peaceful, calming experience. Mini Waterfall: Remember that falling water is charged with negative ions, which will soothe your jangled nerves and upgrade your mood. This is part of the reason why standing in front of a waterfall feels so good, besides the ability to behold the majestic vista. Feel your mental state escalate as you cleanse your body. Showering is true rejuvenation! Drain Depression: If you ever find yourself in a slump, and you just feel mentally, physically, or emotionally sub-par, the first stop on your road to recovery should be your shower. A shower will make you feel rejuvenated and revitalized. Feeling clean and fresh is a great “pick-me-up”. The negative ions will soothe and calm you. And showering can be a metaphorical way to “wash your cares down the drain”. 53 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology How to Be Healthier Want to be as healthy as possible by researching the very best health information but always forget what the best tips are? Now the all the best health information websites are at your fingertips ! Health Information: You can get quality health information for free, anytime, day or night by logging onto the world wide web. But be leery- don’t waste your time on websites with wrong or dangerous information. Only get your health info from reliable sources such as the ones below. Best Health Websites: The Medical Library Association list’s their top 10 most recommended health sites at mlanet.org. Online Women’s Health Headquarters: 4woman.org: is the National Women’s Health Information Center. It serves as a virtual gateway to the most up-to-date reliable health information. Largest Virtual Medical Library: Nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus is the virtual version of the world’s largest medical library, the U.S. National Library of Medicine. Fight Fatigue Online: If you are always tired, you may be suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Online advice awaits you at chronicfatiguesupport.com. You can also find a questionnaire to determine if you have chronic fatigue syndrome at cfids.org, as well as a wealth of information and advice. Hormone Health Website: If you feel that you may be suffering from a hormone-related condition, there is a website which addresses these problems exclusively. At hormone.org, you will find information on thyroid disease, menopause, and polycystic ovarian syndrome, to name a few of the topics. You will also find info to assist you in finding an endocronologist (hormone doctor) in your area. 54 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Yearly Health Screening Take care of yourself and you will stay healthy. Besides self-care you need to visit your primary care physician at least once a year for a check up and to address any physical, mental or emotional concerns you may have. It is a good idea to use this doctor as a point of reference, someone to whom you can summarize your current state of mind and body to, and they in turn can give you advice, tests, or a referral to a specialist, if needed. Even if no symptoms of any kind have manifested themselves, you should adhere to a schedule of regular screenings. The following schedule checklist is designed for young women ages 18 through 40. • Visit your primary care physician once a year for a checkup and to address any physical, mental or emotional concerns that you may have. • Get a dental checkup and cleaning every 6 months. • Get an eye exam every 2 years or more often if your family has a history of eye disease. • Visit your gynecologist for a comprehensive examination including a pelvic exam, breast exam and pap test once a year. Ask for the Thinprep pap test as it has been proven to be the most accurate. Also ask to be checked for all sexually transmitted diseases once a year. • Have a cholesterol test once every 5 years or more often if you have a family history of heart disease or high cholesterol. • Have blood work done to check for anemia, check liver and kidney function, and to check blood-sugar level once every 3 years. • Get a turberculosis test once every 2 years if you work in a high-risk profession such as food and salon service or if you travel to high-risk countries. • Get a thyroid-function test every 5 years starting at age 35. • Give yourself a breast self-exam once a month. Move your hand in a circular motion around your entire breast all the way out to under your arm, checking for suspicious lumps. 55 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part One: Body Chapter 4 How to Be Energized, Fit, and Healthy with Nutrition Secrets Nutrition Secrets: Let’s face it. If we just eat whatever we want with no rhyme or reason we are going to wreck our health, sabotage our appearance and destroy our selfesteem. So why not eat healthy? I like to take a realistic approach to nutrition. Of course, I love to go out to eat, as you probably figured out from the “taste ideas” section of the first chapter. So I allow myself to eat out once or twice a week and every other day I eat nutritiously. I also eat nutritiously for the rest of the day when I come home from the restaurant. I eat half there and take the other half home in a to-go-container. I also take a multivitamin just to make sure that I’m getting all the required nutrients for good health. In other words, I try to appease my restaurant obsession moderately. Why should you eat nutritiously most of the time? Health, energy, and beauty are some of the side effects. So if you don’t want to feel sick, tired and ugly then eat healthy! It does take some knowledge and organization to eat nutritiously. This chapter will provide you with everything you need to know so you can design a nutrition plan that works for you. Know Thy Food Pyramid Like every good ancient Egyptian and modern mystic, it pays to have pyramid knowledge. I am actually talking about the food pyramid here. For the latest food pyramid info, incase it changes since this latest edition of this book, log onto usda.gov/cnpp. Let me refresh your memory: From bottom to top: o Complex Carbohydrates: 6 or more servings a day. What to remember here: Always choose whole-wheat, whole-grain products and brown instead of white rice. Try whole-wheat pasta. It’s just pasta without the bleach. Couscous is also a great source of complex carbs and is oh, so delicious. o Veggies: 3 to 10 servings a day. What to remember here: Yes folks, some nutritional gurus are now asking us to get a whopping 10 servings a day. See Sneaky Ways to get Your Fruits and Veggies below. o Fruits: 2 to 5 servings a day. What to remember here: The whole fruit is always better than the juice. See Sneaky Ways to get Your Fruits and Veggiese below. o Protein: 2 to 3 servings a day. What to remember here: The best protein sources are: lean meat, chicken or fish (3 oz or less), legumes, low-fat dairy products and eggs, nuts or natural peanut butter (sparingly). Try Egg Beaters brand eggs as they do not contain the cholesterol-laden yolk. Pour about half a 56 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology cup in a bowl and add a table spoon of Grey Poupon brand Country Dijon mustard, then whisk and fry over some Pam brand cooking spray, to make a delicious omelet that is good with or without chopped veggies. o Dairy products: 2 to 3 servings a day. What to remember here: Always choose low-fat versions and take calcium supplements, such as Tums, for extra insurance against osteoporosis. Some great dairy finds: Simply Smart brand milk (the special pasteurization process makes the skim milk taste like 2% milk, and the 2% milk tastes like whole milk). I also love Lite and Fit brand yogurt smoothies and Polyo brand string cheese because they are both portable and delicious. o Fats : Eat sparingly. What to remember here: It is recommended to get about 1 or 2 tablespoons of fat each day. Margarine is no longer thought to be any more nutritious than butter so it’s a matter of preference. Of all your oil choices, olive oil is absolutely the healthiest. See Five Healthiest Oils. You can also “butter” your bread with olive oil instead of butter. Nutrition Crash Course Let’s make it simple. Try to stick to the pyramid prescription as far as how much you should eat of dairy, protein, carbs, fats and fruits and veggies. Obviously, you are not going to eat this way every day, because of parties, holidays, and trips to the movie theatre, but try to eat this way most days of the week. You should also limit alcohol: if you must drink, red wine is your best bet. And of course, don’t smoke. Undo some of the damage by taking a mulitvitamin supplement, drinking at least 2 quarts of water a day and by consuming as many of the following as often as possible: oats, flax seed, hot peppers, sweet potatoes, grapes, cabbage, cauliflower, black-eyed peas, chickpeas, kidney beans, lima beans, blueberries, broccoli, carrots, fish, nonfat milk, nuts, onions, garlic, oranges, tomatoes, cranberry juice, strawberries, mangoes, papayas, brown rice, bananas, asparagus, peppers, soy, prunes, olive oil, cabbage and yogurt, raspberries, guavas, avocadoes, leafy greens, cucumbers, and “green drinks containing wheatgrass”. Something for everybody! Nutrition Secrets o Tea Time: It’s time for you to do like the British, and make tea breaks a regular part of your day, or you will really be missing out on a marvelous health benefit. Tea contains polyphenols, powerful antioxidants that fight cell damage. Green tea contains the most antioxidants and black tea kills the bacteria that cause gum disease in addition to providing antioxidants. This just in: A red tea, called rubios is purported to contain even more antioxidant power than green tea! o Mooove to Milk: You need to consume at least 2 servings of milk products a day. Women need at least 1000 mg a day. A cup of chocolate milk will provide you with 1/3 of that recommendation. If you are not crazy about dairy, meet your quota with 57 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology calcium supplements, like Tums. (Recent research shows that calcium supplements ward off symptoms associated with PMS). o Don’t Deep-Fry. Broiling, baking, microwaving and steaming are better options. o Flavor Fix: Rely less on butter and salt for flavor, and more on herbs, spices, lemons, or olive oil. Try Mrs. Dash. o Sugar Substitute: Use sugar as infrequently as possible. Try Splenda, a sugar substitute made from real sugar. o Fresh Is Best: Use fresh foods whenever possible. Organic is even better! o Steam Dream: Steam or microwave veggies instead of broiling or cooking to prevent vitamin loss. o Love Low-fat: Substitute low-fat milk, cheese and sour cream for their fattening counterparts. When you bake, substitute ½ of the amount of butter the recipe calls for with moist healthy ingredients, such as applesauce or buttermilk. You won’t miss it! o Cheese Fiend Fix: If you are a cheese fiend, check out feta or goat cheese. Both have lower amounts of fat. Sprinkle feta cheese on your salad or spread goat cheese on your bagel. I love to chop up tomatoes, cucumbers, and green onions, throw them in a big bowl with some feta cheese crumbles, stuff the mixture into whole wheat pita bread pockets and top it off with a sauce made of plain yogurt, a little ketchup, a little lemon juice, and a little fresh garlic. It is so delicious and healthy! o Get Un-Skinny: Choose skinless, lean meats. o Magnificent Marinara: Cut down on creamy sauces. Order your pasta with marinara instead of Alfredo sauce. o Refreshing Dessert: Order fruit desserts instead of pies and cakes. o Egg Swap: Substitute egg yolk with double egg whites or with Egg Beaters. o Nutrition Gone Pro: Learn as much as you can about eating right for your specific needs. You might want to consult a nutrtionist. Find a registered dietician in your area by logging onto eatright.org. o Showers for Your Inside: If you start drinking at least 8 servings of 8 oz of water a day you will notice a big difference in how you look and feel: Suddenly you look well rested, your skin is clearer, you have boundless energy, and your urine is almost clear! It is worth the effort. Here are some tips for making it a more convenient endeavor: Buy a Rubbermaid 2 quart pitcher with snap-shut top. This holds 8 cups. You can take this to work and just pour the water into cups. This way you are carrying your entire day’s supply with you. If you don’t like plain old water, try lemon slices in your water. Or try a sweetener like Crystal Light. This sweetener comes in canisters. Each canister holds four or more little tubs. One tub flavors your entire 2 quart pitcher! How’s that for convenience…no measuring! o Super Supplements: No matter how nutritious your diet, a multivitamin ensures that you are getting adequate amounts of essential vitamins and minerals. With so many on the market, how do you pick one? The bottom line: Although touted by 58 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology countless manufacturers and health book authors, it is best to steer clear from megadose vitamins, at least until more research is in. The problem is that the Food and Drug Administration is not responsible for testing the claims of vitamin and mineral manufacturers and therefore many mega-dose vitamins are on the market. For certain people, mega doses of vitamins and minerals can be toxic. To ensure that you are getting enough but not too much of a good thing, take a multi-vitamin designed around the Recommend Daily Allowance (quantities deemed to be necessary and safe by the government) such as Centrum or One A Day. I am sure you have probably heard about the benefits of the herb ginseng for producing energy, and ginkgo biloba in aiding mental clarity. Who wouldn’t like more energy and the ability to think clearer? But here we have the same problem, the Food and Drug Administration does not have to evaluate the claims of manufacturers of these products either. However, in clinical study after clinical study, these two herbs have been found to live up to their claims. To get these two herbs in a safe quantity, check out Centrum Performance, a multivitamin designed for people who need extra physical and mental energy. Besides the standard multivitamin format, Centrum Performance adds ginseng, ginkgo biloba and extra B vitamins, also essential for mental and physical energy, to the mix. Top Energizing Foods Instead of stuffing yourself with three meals a day, eat lighter meals and snacks more often, five or six times a day. That way you ward off fatigue and hunger pains and keep your metabolism in high gear. Here are five of the best snacks: o Red Bull: Let me start out with a convenient drink that may replace coffee for you. I have many friends who have tried the energy concoction Red Bull and swear that it has significantly boosted both their physical and mental energy. Others swear that it helps them control their cravings. It’s also better for you than coffee, so give it a whirl. o Almonds: Grab a small handful of almonds (about 22 pieces) to maintain your energy. This snack is even recommended by highly energetic self-improvement expert Tony Robbins. He munches on them to keep energized through his motivational lectures. o Yogurt: Eight ounces of yogurt provides a bunch of B vitamins, which help the body convert other nutrients into energy. It also is a fabulous source of potassium, an important mineral for energy, and even supplies a dose of power protein. The active cultures in yogurt will bolster your energy as they tune-up your immune system. And yogurt is especially helpful to women. It helps to protect you against yeast infections and the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology reports that the calcium in yogurt significantly decreases fatigue and 14 other symptoms of PMS! (I had to bold that sentence because who wouldn’t want more “happy days” in their month?) It is best to go with low-fat plain yogurt as the flavored ones usually have too much sugar. To make yogurt 59 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology more interesting while simultaneously upping its nutritious value, add fresh berries, dried fruit or trail mix. The added fiber is digested slowly, and this will cause the energizing effect to last longer. o Bran Muffin: A medium-sized bran muffin is a wonderful source of magnesium, a mineral your body uses to change carbohydrates into energy. And a bran muffin has plenty of complex carbohydrates to convert so the energy lasts a long, long time. Just be sure to stay away from those monstrous jumbo bran muffins found at your local grocery store, which also add plenty of fat. o Hard-Boiled Eggs: Egg whites are an amazing source of protein, which will supply you with a steady stream of energy. The egg yolk adds an extra dose of B vitamins, which give an even greater lift, to put a little more “pep in your step”. To make a hard-boiled egg more exciting, add mustard or a dash of salt and pepper for flavor. For healthy cholesterol levels you should not eat more than 4 eggs per week. o Peanut Butter: Peanut butter is chockfull of both protein and magnesium. (Be sure to buy the low-sugar, all-natural variety, which is positively scrumptious!) But don’t go too crazy. A tablespoon of peanut butter a day will give you maximum benefits. Overdosing on peanut butter can mean weight gain. Spread it on celery sticks or bananas for extra nutritional power. For a really delicious energizing smoothie take a tablespoon of peanut butter, a banana, two tablespoons wheat germ, and two cups of Simply Smart brand milk. Throw all ingredients into a blender and enjoy! Not only is it delicious, but you will also get all the benefits of peanut butter, two servings of dairy, two servings of fruit (half a banana is one serving of fruit), and the nutritional benefits of wheat germ! This smoothie was featured in Woman’s World magazine as a recipe that assists in getting a healthy head of beautiful hair. o Trail Mix: Trail mix is teeming with iron, complex carbs, proteins, and natural sugars, which are found in its dried fruit, nuts and seeds, making it a powerful energy snack. Find a low-fat, low-sodium variety you like or make one yourself with a low-sugar whole grain cereal (like Cheerios), and a handful of dried fruit, nuts and perhaps some pumpkin seeds. o Orange Juice: A recent clinical study found that people who drink at least 400 mg of vitamin C feel the least amount of fatigue. Orange juice is one of the planet’s best and most delectable sources of vitamin C. A large glass will give you about 200% of the recommended daily allowance of this nutrient. Drink your nourishing orange juice with a bit of protein on the side, such as a teaspoon of peanut butter, to slow down the digestion of simple carbohydrates. This will prolong your surge of energy and make you feel great! With orange juice, you get pure unbridled energy, unlike caffeinated beverages, which may make you jittery. o Manhattan Clam Chowder: The shellfish in this delicious soup contain a veritable cornucopia of energizing vitamins and minerals, especially iron. One cup of this yummy soup provides up to 252% of the RDA for iron! And you’ll even get a healthy dose of vitamin C, which aids your body in absorbing the iron! The iron will help transport oxygen to your cells, which will ward of fatigue! And there is yet another benefit- you will also get up to 4000% of the RDA for 60 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology vitamin B-12. A deficiency of this vitamin has been reportedly linked to low energy levels. Plus, the broth is primarily made of tomatoes. Tomatoes contain lycopene, which is an antioxidant that is very powerful in its ability to help you feel alert! o Beans: For extreme amounts of energy, women should get at least 1900 mg of potassium daily. Can you believe that just one cup of beans or lentils provides more than half of that amount! In addition, beans are a magnificent source of complex carbohydrates. These are the best fuel for your body because they break down slower than simple carbohydrates (found in white sugar and flour products) and therefore your blood-sugar level can remain steady and your energy level can stay soaring! Indulge as often as possible in bean or lentil soups, or toss kidney beans into your pasta sauce! I really love Progresso Macaroni Bean soup! o Pumpkin Seeds: A 2.5 oz packet of this delicious, crunchy snack will provide you with over 400 mg of magnesium. According to studies, this amount can decrease fatigue by up to 89%! The reason behind the miracle: magnesium helps convert food into energy. Pumpkin seeds are also full of iron which nourishes your cells with oxygen. For a yummy, nutritious snack, mix pumpkin seeds with raisins, nuts, or trail mix. o Watermelon: Watermelon is a sensational, refreshing source of 4 great fatigue fighters: Vitamin C, lycopene, iron, and potassium. As its name suggests, watermelon is also a great source of water. While you should get at least 8 (8 oz.) glasses of water a day, water fruits like this one will hydrate you even more, giving your cells greater functionality and therefore your body will experience added energy! o Lean Roast Beef: Zinc is a fatigue-fighting miracle nutrient! Studies show that zinc is critical for at least 80 body reactions that increase energy levels. Zinc even helps to get rid of fatigue-inducing carbon dioxide from muscle tissue. Zinc also keeps your mind alert and prevents feelings of sluggishness. Just 4 oz of lean roast beef packs 12 mg of zinc and is therefore one of its greatest sources. Try a whole-wheat pita with 4 oz of lean roast beef, tomato slices and a bit of mustard. Or get a 6 inch Subway brand roast beef grinder with any of their low-fat sauces and as many veggies as your heart desires! o Peanut Buttered Apple: Spread one tablespoon peanut butter on a sliced apple for a delightfully flavorful, highly nutritious, anytime snack. You already know that peanut butter is an excellent source of protein. But what you may not know is that it contains the amino acid tyrosine, which helps you stay attentive and helps you concentrate. The apple also helps the energizing effect by nourishing your body with its main source of fuel- carbohydrates. o High Protein Energy Bars: Energy bar consumers must heed this warning:. Some of the bars on the market do not increase your energy, but cause fatigue with their high sugar content! You should instead buy a bar that gets at least 40% of its calories from protein. These particular bars actually do boost your energy and contain almost the same amount of many vitamins and minerals as a multivitamin! The best brands? Ironman PR, Balance, and Zone Perfect. 61 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology o Kashi Cereal with Fruit: Eat your Kashi cereal with ½ cup low-fat milk and sliced fruit, like a pear or banana, or berries. This concoction is great for breakfast or as a snack and is high in fiber. When you don’t get your daily dose of fiber, your body is slow and you feel groggy. Maintain your high energy level by eating this or other high-fiber cereals often. o Energy Smoothie: Not feeling so perky today? Combine one cup of skim milk, low-fat yogurt, berries, ice cubes, and a dash of cinnamon. This delicious blend of carbs, vitamins, and protein will revitalize your body and restore your zest. o Cheerios with Fresh Fruit: Cheerios is a magnificent source of niacin, which aids the body in processing carbohydrates to produce energy. And adding fruit and milk transforms his breakfast or snack into a nutrition powerhouse! o Handful of Soy Nuts: Soy nuts contain omega-3 fatty acids, which are great for your body, especially your circulatory system. Additionally, this delicious snack may help increase awareness, help you be more agile, and may even fight depression. o A Cup of Berries: Berries are bursting with nutrients and antioxidants. Sweet and delicious berries also have a high-water content, which means that they will keep you hydrated and thus, energized. o Peppermint Patties: Peppermint has been shown to temporarily stimulate memory and boost mental awareness! Students given mints before a standardized test perform better than those who are not given mints! The good news is that Peppermint Patty is a fat free food! And mints are great for fresh breath, which boosts your confidence and comfort level! o Cocoa: Cocoa has been shown to contain chemical ingredients that help you stay alert by increasing activity in certain parts of the brain. It is also has been shown to inspire feelings of happiness when mixed with sugar and fat. But you must do chocolate in moderation. Two Hershey’s Kisses is enough! You can also dip 4 strawberries into 1 oz of melted dark chocolate for a delicious, nutritious snack. 62 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Five Healthiest Oils We all know that we should eat a minimal amount of fat a day. Be especially cautious when it comes to oils. Did you know that a little bit of oil with your veggies, increases the absorption of the vitamins and antioxidant in them? Of all the oil choices you have these are the best: o Olive oil- hands down the very best! o Canola oil o Corn oil o Walnut oil o Sesame oil Top 20 Foods for Great Skin By now I hope you are convinced that nothing beats water in clarifying your skin and preventing wrinkles. But your diet can also positively and negatively impact your skin. Here are the top foods for beautiful, clear skin: o Olive or Sesame Oil: 1 or 2 tablespoons a day. o Fruit: 2 to 3 pieces a day (especially papaya, mangoes, watermelon, bananas, kiwi, canteloupe, strawberries, ) o Veggies: 3 to 10 servings a day (especially carrots, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, broccoli and spinach, sweet peppers and green peas, leafy veggies, mushrooms) o Lentils, Chickpeas and Other Legumes: 2 to 3 servings a week o Fish: 2 3 ½ oz servings a week o Poultry: often o Eggs: 4 or less a week o Oysters: often o Non-fat milk: 2 to 3 times a day o Almonds: often o Wheat germ: often o Sesame seeds: often o Red meat: 2 servings or less a week o Soybeans: often o Whole grains: 6 to 11 a day 63 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology o Tempeh: often o Brewer’s Yeast: often o Peanut Butter: 2 tablespoons or less a day o Make a Good-for-Your-Skin-Smoothie: Combine in a blender and puree ½ cup diced papaya, ½ cup diced mango, ¼ cup apple juice, ¼ cup ice, 1 teaspoon lime juice, 3 teaspoons sugar. Top 4 Foods to Avoid if you are Acne Prone While foods, in and of themselves do not cause acne as once thought, certain foods will exacerbate the condition: o Iodized salt: Try a salt substitute or become a spice fiend. Try Mrs. Dash. o Nitrites and Nitrates: These are found in many beef and smoke flavored products. o Shellfish: Exacerbates breakouts. o Caffeine: It gets your nervous system jumping; the stress causes breakouts Top 5 Satisfying Low-fat Snacks o Mango Smoothie: Why not get a taste of the tropics for breakfast and get your vitamin C with a mango smoothie instead of the usual orange juice? Blend your mango with low-fat yogurt, skim milk, a scoop of protein powder, and a bit of molasses. Close your eyes and imagine sipping it under a palm tree on a white sand beach overlooking a crystal blue ocean. Yum! o Popcorn: Can you believe you can have five whole cups of air-popped popcorn for only 150 calories! The 6 grams of fiber in this serving size will help you to fight cravings. For a convenient snack, pop a bag of the microwave 94% fat-free variety. Instead of butter, spray popcorn with a coating of butter-flavored spray such as I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. Sprinkle with your favorite spice. For a delicious treat, sprinkle on some Good Season’s salad dressing mix. Any Good Season’s flavor turns popcorn into an absolutely delectable, zesty snack. Or sprinkle with parmesan cheese, chili powder, and garlic salt. Or substitute the chili powder with chili con carne, or cayenne pepper. If you have a craving for sweets, try topping it with cinnamon and Splenda (a sugar substiture). o Portobello Mushroom Burger: This flavorful snack is the ultimate vegetarian steak substitute. Just brush it with balsamic vinegar and a bit of olive oil and grill. Hard to believe that a 4.5 ounce mushroom has only 26 calories and is fat-free! Enjoy its delicious natural flavor, or for variety, try it with steak sauce, Worcestershire sauce, teriyaki sauce or soy sauce. Its size 64 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology also makes it a great burger substitute. Put one on a whole-wheat bun, top with tomatoes, onions and a pickle and some low-calorie condiments such as ketchup or mustard. o Vegetarian Chili: This snack is a delicious nutritional powerhouse. It contains tomatoes (lycopene and vitamin A), and the beans contain folate and iron. Although veggie chili is absolutely delicious on its own, you can take the flavor up a notch while simultaneously revving up your metabolism by adding some hot sauce. o Edamame: This snack rivals potato chips in decadently delicious flavor but is actually very, very good for you. One half-cup serving has 188 calories and actually gives you an incredible 17 of the recommended 25 grams of soy protein for preventing heart disease! It also includes the added bonuses of fiber, calcium and folate! Sneaky Ways to Get Your Fruits and Veggies If you are not crazy about the taste, or just find it inconvenient or impossible to get the recommended 5 to 10 servings of fruit and veggies a day, then check out these simple solutions: o 3-Serving Smoothie: Enjoy a smoothie by combining a cup of berries (use frozen, if you’d like) ½ banana, and ¾ cup orange juice. This equals 3 servings of fruit! o Try Dry: Try dried fruits and veggies. They’re delicious, convenient and do not rot. They are both available in health food stores or in the natural foods section of the grocery store. Dried veggies are crunchy and flavorful, a great substitute for potato chips. Toss half a cup of dried blueberries, cherries, or raisins with a tablespoon of crushed nuts for an antioxidant rich snack (that’s two fruit servings!) o Frozen Stash: Stock up on frozen fruit and veggies incase you run out of fresh. They are convenient to prepare and nutritionally comparable to fresh! Whip frozen berries into smoothies for instant gratification, or let your berries thaw and top angle food cake cups with them and a dollop of Cool Whip for a low fat, delicious desert! Stir fry frozen veggies in a wok or skillet and serve over brown rice. Keep a variety of Asian sauces on hand so that you never get bored…try nonfat soy sauce and teriyaki sauce. Low sodium varieties are the wisest choice for your health. o Chop ‘Em and Dip ‘Em: Keep chopped fresh veggies, such as red and yellow peppers, in your fridge and dip them in a light dressing or dip. o Drink a V8 each day: Not only is it chockfull of cancer-fighting lycopene but it is also low in calories and high in volume. Drinking one before your meal can fill you up so that you eat less. It comes in a spicy flavor, in portable cans, and only 6 ounces equals a serving of veggies! Very convenient! 65 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology o Drink Your Fruit: Try smoothies made with real fruit. There are many recipes coming up for smoothies that pack in multiple fruit servings! While whole fruit is better for you than juice, 8 ounce servings of 100% fruit juice, such as Juicy Juice (any flavor), or any other real fruit juice, such as grapefruit or orange, also count. The two most nutritious fruit juices arguably are cranberry juice (look for a brand that uses at least 27% cranberry juice) and grape juice. There is now a great new product from V8 called V8 V-Fusion. Every 8 oz. glass is a full serving of fruit and a full serving of vegetables! o Amazing Applesauce: Fruitsations apple sauces have real fruit mixed in. Try strawberry or peach. One container equals one fruit serving and is so delicious! Perfect for a portable lunch! o Pizza Veggies: Give pizza extra nutritional value and flavor, by adding onions, green peppers, or garlic. o Veggie-Packed Sauce: Find a pasta sauce that is chock full of chunky vegetables. Add canned chunky or stewed tomatoes, or chop up your own veggies. Then grate carrots into the mix or add fresh garlic or sautéed onions. o Recipe Resourcefulness: There are recipes that are chock full of veggies coming up. At the beginning of the week, why not double a veggie-rich recipe and munch during the week. o Carrot Soup: Make a delicious, healthy roasted carrot soup. Spread baby carrots on a tray coated with a cooking spray, such as Pam. Sprinkle with a delicious seasoning such as Mrs. Dash or thyme and bake at 400 degrees for 45 minutes until carrots are soft and brown. Puree carrots and then heat for a delicious soup. If you’d like a creamier consistency add a splash of low-fat milk. Very healthy. o Sweet Potato Treat: Bake or microwave a sweet potato, halve it, and mix in some canned crush pineapple. Carotenoids, fiber and folate are packed into every bite! o Cinnamon Squash: Satisfy your sweet tooth with a cinnamon squash. Halve an acorn or a butternut squash (which is high in fiber and potassium). Scoop out the seeds. Sprinkle on cinnamon, nutmeg, chopped nuts and drizzle on a touch of maple syrup. You can even add raisins, if desired. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until soft. o Sweet Soup: For more variety make a sweet soup. For a low-fat treat try Imagine Natural’s Organic Creamy Sweet Corn soup. Order at imaginefoods.com. o Super Healthy Salad: Mix steamed broccoli florets with sliced onions, and red, green or yellow peppers. Lightly sauté some minced garlic, and toss all ingredients in balsamic vinegar. Sprinkle with shredded carrot. For quick and simple salads, buy a salad bag at the produce section that comes with veggies that are pre-chopped, or buy pre-chopped veggies on the side to mix in. Then sprits each forkful with Wishbone Salad Spritzers dressing. Each squirt has only one calorie and they taste great! 66 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology o Roasted Veggies: To add flavor to your veggies try broiling, grilling, or roasting them. You can roast any veggie, even green beans. These cooking methods allow the veggies to simmer in their own juices or add flavor so you don’t need to cover them with fatty sauces. Just add olive oil and a pinch of salt and cook it so that it is still a tad bit undercooked (softer, but still a bit sturdy, like al dente pasta). o Kabob ‘Em: What could be more delicious on a hot summer day then kabobs with either lean steak, chicken, or shrimp between grilled onions, green peppers, or even cherry tomatoes? For even more flavor, dip your kabobs in a light marinade before grilling. Try an oil and vinegar marinade as it will keep your veggies from becoming sticky, will prevent charring and will compliment the natural flavors without overpowering. Before grilling, slice your veggies thickly. You can slice bell peppers into four sections and can make length-wise slices to zucchini. You can skewer small pieces of veggies and fruit with garlic cloves or cherry tomatoes. o Be a Fruit and Veggie Explorer: When it comes to fruit and veggies, variety is key. The more different types of veggies you eat the more nutritional benefits you reap. Be adventurous and try new veggies every now and again. The bigger the variety of colors you consume, the bigger the nutritional benefit. o Visit Your Local Farm Stand: When shopping, presentation has a lot to do with whether or not you will purchase. The fresh veggies at the farm stand are a lot more seductive and tastier than those that travel miles to be showcased at the local grocery store. o Dress ‘Em Up: If you really hate the taste of natural veggies, add a small amount of fat or some seasoning. Add a little butter and a sprinkling of basil, chervil or tarragon. o Find Convenient Veggie Serving Recipes: Find recipes that pack at least 1 serving of veggies into them that are easy to prepare, like the salsa and minestrone that follow: 67 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Sensational Salsa A cup of salsa counts as a veggie serving! Keep the store-bought variety on hand, but make your own as often as possible as the fresh taste of homemade salsa cannot be beat. Just be sure to eat with the baked, low-fat variety of tortillas! Or use your salsa to dress your chicken fajitas or your fish. This salsa is so good, you may just want to eat a cup of it by itself! This sensational salsa recipe follows: Sensational Salsa 4 ripe tomatoes, chopped 1 bunch cilantro, chopped 1 bunch scallions, chopped 2 jalapeno peppers, minced 1 yellow bell pepper, finely chopped 3 cloves garlic, minced Juice of 3 fresh limes 2 tsp olive oil Kernels from 1 small ear of corn (optional) Salt and pepper to taste In a bowl combine all ingredients and stir with a fork. Chill in refrigerator for at least 2 hours. Eat with baked chips or serve on chicken or fish. Per ½ cup: 74 calories, 2 g fat, 12 g carbohydrates and 2 g protein. ` 68 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Mighty and Magical Minestrone For the ultimate veggie infusion, make a pot of the minestrone soup below. This recipe makes 12 cups and each cup provides 2.5 servings of veggies and 6 grams of fiber! Mighty and Magical Minestrone 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 cup chopped onion 1 cup chopped celery 1 tsp thyme 1 tbsp olive oil 2 14.5 oz cans reduced-sodium chicken broth 3 carrots, diced 1 14.5 oz can diced tomatoes 1 lb zucchini cut in ½ inch slices ¼ lb green beans cut in 1-inch pieces 3 cups water 1 ½ tsp salt 1 cup quick-cooking barley 1 15 oz can white beans (cannellini) 8 cups spinach leaves Cook garlic, onion, celery and thyme in a large pot over medium-heat in oil, while stirring for 2 minutes, until softened. Add green beans, tomatoes, broth, carrots, zucchini, water and salt and bring to a boil. Add barley and reduce heat; simmer 15 minutes. Stir in white beans and spinach; cook 5 more minutes. (Makes 12 cups). 69 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Taste the Rainbow Fruits and veggies are so vibrantly colorful and each color family has a different nutritional benefit. Try to eat a wide variety of colors each day: o Yellow Foods: Yellow fruits and veggies are rich in antioxidants such as lutein and anthoxanthins, which protect your body from harmful UV rays. Good choices: bananas and yellow peppers. o Green Foods: Green fruits and veggies get their green color from chlorophyll, which when digested, blocks the actions of cancer-causing substances formed when meat is cured. Good choices: leafy greens, broccoli and kiwi. o Orange Foods: Orange fruits and veggies are carotenoid-packed. They get their color from beta carotene, a powerful antioxidant known to prevent cancers. Good choices: oranges and sweet potatoes. o Blue/Purple Foods: Blue and purple fruits and veggies get their pretty hue from anthocyanins. These plant chemicals protect your arteries and fight cancers. Good bets: blueberries and grapes. o Red Foods: Red fruits and veggies contain phytochemicals such as lycopene, betacyanin and d-limonene which slash your cancer risk in half and combat free radicals that cause premature aging. Good choices: cherries and tomatoes. 70 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Pound-Shedding Tips and Tricks With all the charlatans trying to make a buck these days, we need to be even more leery when it comes to what we will and won’t try. The following tips are all backed by countless studies and research. Not a shred of hype in the bunch. Try one, try em’ all: o Snack Healthy: Instead of potato chips, snack on pretzels or baked chips with salsa. I actually like Baked Lay brand chips better than their greasier fried counterparts. Instead of popcorn with butter and salt, make some “light” or “fatfree” microwave popcorn, mist it lightly with I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter spray and shake some Good Seasons salad mix onto it. Or try Molly McButter, the butter or cheese varieties, curry powder, cayenne pepper powder, or cinnamon and Splenda shaked onto it. Another great healthy snack is a little sandwich bagful of plain popcorn, raisins and a tablespoon of peanuts. It’s sweet and salty! o Frozen Fixes: Cutting back on calories is easy when you feel “orally gratified”. Try freezing a bunch of frozen grapes to snack on between meals. There are many fruitflavored popsicles made with real fruit and fruit juices that are sweetened with Splenda and are therefore very low in calories. Also worth trying are Weight Watchers brand Heath Bar Crunch frozen treats and Skinny Cow brand ice cream sandwiches. o Be an Early Bird: Fitting your workout into your AM routine is good for more than just “getting it over with it”. When you rise in the morning, your heart rate is at its lowest point of the day. Therefore you have further to go to reach your target heart rate and will naturally burn more calories to achieve this goal. Plus, according to motivational speaker Tony Robbins, by exercising in the morning, you are setting yourself up for a great day because you have already accomplished a big task, and this puts you in a positive attitude. o Eat Breakfast Everyday Single Day: Study after study shows that the more calories you consume in the first half of your day, the more likely you are to snack less at night. If you get into the breakfast habit, not only will you find it easier to maintain your weight but you will also start your day armed with energy and the contentedness that is a satisfied belly. o Eat a Protein-Packed Power Breakfast: Protein foods have a more complex makeup than carbohydrates, so they require more energy from your digestive system to break them down. But eat your protein in moderation: you should get only 15 to 20% of your daily diet from protein. I am in favor of pushing aside typical breakfast fare like donuts and sausage in favor of a protein-packed energizing breakfast. Eggs, peanut butter and nuts are good choices for breakfast. I also like to start the day with a fruit-infused smoothie. Drink along side an egg white omelet or add a scoop of soy protein powder to your smoothie. Or mix nuts into a cup of low-fat yogurt. o Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate: When you don’t consume the recommended amount of water each day (at least 8 glasses), your body is not burning calories as efficiently as it could be. All of your tissues need enough water to function at their very best. Without water your blood flow slows and nutrients and energy cannot travel to your 71 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology muscles as quickly as they should. Therefore your endurance wanes and you will not exercise for as long as you would have if you had gotten enough water. Are you convinced yet? o Wet Your Whistle Pre-Workout: If you drink a glass of water 10 minutes before your workout you will hydrate your body, and will have more endurance and strength. You will workout more fervently, for a longer period of time. Some people also like to down a Red Bull energy drink or Gatorade for extra stamina before they workout. o Spice Up Your Workout: Variety is not only the secret to staying with a fitness regimen by keeping it interesting, but it is also key to working different muscle groups and keeping your body from adapting to your ordinary movements. By adding new moves to your workout you break through your weight plateaus, as the new challenges rev up your metabolism. Try a new aerobics machine, a new fitness video or swim instead of going for your usual stroll. o Slow Down and Savor: Your new weight-management mantra: Slow down and savor the flavor. Never eat a meal in less than 20 minutes, as your brain needs at least this long to recognize the signal from your stomach that you are full. So put your fork down between bites or rest your sandwich on your plate. Take smaller bites, savor the color, scent, texture and flavor of each bite, and chew and swallow each completely before taking another. o Leave Leftovers: Get into the habit of aiming to leave some food on the plate. Pack it away as leftovers and it will not go to waste. The idea is to train your brain to forget the childhood maxim, “Clean your plate.” A few calories saved at each meal definitely adds up! When you go out to eat, doggy bag half your meal as restaurant portions are usually too big! o Pare-down Your Pasta Intake: Pasta is easy to make and a healthy staple. But eating it too often can fill you with empty carbs. So cut down your noodle-noshing to 3 times a week. And make your pasta dishes healthier by donning them in a veggie-infused pasta sauce or by adding beans, chicken or low-fat cheese for protein. Ditch white bleached pasta in favor of whole wheat pasta for more nutritional benefits! o Pair Forbidden Fare with a Nutritious Side: Deprivation always backfires and results in binging. So have your “bad foods” occasionally. Just pair them with a “good food”. At least you will get some nutrition out of the decadent dish and the good food will supplement the meal, helping you to feel full and not turn to round two of the naughty snack. o Cross Train and Use Bursts: Another fitness secret to losing weight faster- instead of completing your cardio and then doing your weight routine, alternate between the two in 10 or 20 minute intervals for extra fat-burning. For extra fast results, incorporate 1 minute bursts of more intense cardio activity into your routine. For example, on the treadmill, walk at a moderate pace for 5 minutes, then jog for 1 minute and then return to your moderate pace. Repeat this pattern for the entire duration of your routine. The short bursts of increased activity fire up your metabolism and are short enough as to not overwhelm and tire you. 72 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology o Pump Iron: The more muscle mass you have, the higher your metabolic rate will be, whether you are exercising, or flipping your remote while lying on the couch. If that doesn’t convince you to start lifting, consider the fact that your metabolism is also temporarily spiked even more after a weight lifting session! o Plan Your Meals in Advance: Keep a list of your favorite healthy foods in every category: protein, dairy, fruit, veggies, carbohydrates, and healthy fats. Try to keep as many of these foods as possible on hand all the time, as staples you can count on. For example, in the protein category peanut butter and nuts can be kept in the cupboard for a long time, in the dairy category frozen yogurts pops can be kept for a while, frozen and dried fruit and veggies can always be on hand, bread can be frozen, and pasta can be stocked in your pantry. For foods that spoil quickly, plan to incorporate these into your meals first. Measure out snacks and prepare meals in advance. Measuring out portions ahead of time prevents overeating. o Avoid Temptation: Keep only healthy food in your house. If you decide to pick up a fattening treat, divide it into individual servings and store them in separate containers. That way it’s less convenient, both mentally and physically to binge. Another idea is to stick to a healthy, low-fat menu for four or five days a week and then allow yourself to have a couple of “off days” so you do not feel deprived or that your nutrition plan is too rigid. o Get Your Fill of Fiber: According to the American Heart Association we need to get at least 25 g of fiber a day to ward off disease. If you increase your fiber intake from 12 to 24 grams a day you would block up to 90 calories from being absorbed. Eat plenty of fruit and veggies and try a high-fiber cereal such as All Bran. o Eating Out: To eat healthfully when eating out, look for menu selections with the words steamed, grilled, broiled, or baked. Avoid braised, fried and stewed foods. You will also want to avoid cream sauces. For a healthy meal, a quarter of your plate should consist of protein, another quarter should consist of a grain-based dish (pasta, rice, bread), and half the plate should consist of fruits and veggies. To avoid overeating, have your server pack half of your dinner in a take-home box before bringing it to the table. Another strategy is to drink at least one glass of water and to eat a salad with low-fat dressing or a bowl of soup before you eat. o Weight Watchers: The weight loss program most recommended by doctors is Weight Watchers, hands down. The program features a comprehensive food directory. Here you will find a points value for every food under the sun. There is even a fastfood restaurant points guide so you can really stick with this plan. The object of the game is to add the points value of foods you eat each day and stay within an assigned “points range”. If you do, you lose weight. The beauty of this program is its sheer simplicity. If you are not one to go to weekly meetings, they now have a program for you: Weight Watchers at Home which supplies you with all the same great tools and motivation, plus a support hotline for at-home members. A membership to the weight watchers website is an invaluable resource for both dieters and those who just want to eat healthier. Here you can find out how many “points” many common foods have and you will have access to a veritable goldmine of nutritious, low-fat recipes. Visit Weightwatchers.com for details. 73 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology o Nutrisystem Nourish: For those who hate to have to track their food intake, prepare meals or go shopping for that matter, the Nutrisystem Nourish plan might be your answer. At Nutrisystem.com you can sign up to have 28 days worth of low calorie food delivered right to your door, just once, every month, or as often as needed. The food is tasty and extremely convenient because it does not have to be refrigerated or frozen. You just grab a breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack from your assortment, throw them into your bag and go. These meals heat up really quickly too- usually they only take one to two minutes in your microwave. Of all the “diet delivery” services out there, this is the least expensive. o Get Diet Help Online: Don’t have a dieting friend to share ideas or support with, or time to attend a weekly meeting? You can get diet advice and support online 24 hours a day. Log on when you are tempted to indulge in a midnight snack at Ediets.com. o Ice-Cold Water: Drinking water aids in satisfying your appetite, warding off fatigue, and banishing hunger pains. But did you know that the colder your water is the better? Ice-cold water forces your body to heat it up to your body temperature. In doing so, you burn extra calories! This is a secret of supermodels! How many ice cubes can you fit in that glass? o Have Cool Nights: Did you know that sleeping with the windows open is good for more than circulating fresh air? Studies show that sleeping in a cool room helps you to burn extra calories, for the very same reason that drinking cold water does! So let in that beautiful breeze! o Fidget Freely: A famous study showed us that people who fidget: play with their hair, drum their pencils on their desks, tap their feet, bob around to the music in their chair, lose an average of ten pounds a year! Fidgeting: the quintessential low-impact workout! o Chew Gum: Chewing gum is a form of fidgeting. (No, chewing like a cow does not score you extra results). For some people chewing gum also relieves the need to overeat as it occupies your mouth. Multitask by chewing a dental gum, like Trident Advantage, which is proven to help fight cavities. o Pile on the Picante: Add some spice to your life, literally: Pile on the picante peppers, down a dollop of horseradish, or have some hot mustard. The hotter the sensation, the more you rev up your metabolism. These spicy foods are sensational, but if you really want peak metabolic performance down some hot peppers. Hot peppers can boost the number of calories your body can burn while you are resting! How? The compound capsaicin, found in jalapeno and cayenne peppers can rev up your body’s output of adrenaline, which increases your body’s metabolic rate so that you burn more calories. And as if that is not enough reason to throw a few red hots on your sandwich, eating hot peppers can help to reduce your appetite. Add hot peppers to your salads, soups, stews, stirfried veggies or eat hot salsa or low-fat chili. You can also throw some Tabasco sauce on your eggs! o Artichoke Assistance: Several studies have shown that artichoke extract supplements can give you extra energy, prevent diet-related health problems, and 74 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology may even protect you from diseases like cancer and heart disease. It has even been proven to minimize artery-clogging LDL cholesterol levels and can help stomach problems like abdominal pain and cramping! Artichoke extract is available at many health-food stores. The recommended dose is 200-300 mg three times a day. After using the product for a little over a month, users reported feelings of vitality, greater energy, and mental and physical wellness. Check with your doctor to see if this is safe for you. o Peel off Pounds with a Pill: With so many weight loss pills on the market, and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) not evaluating them for efficacy, how are we ever supposed to pick one that works? Skip the diet supplements with chromium picolinate. Little evidence supports this trace mineral’s capacity to aid in weight loss. If you must try a weight loss supplement, you might as well try one with a proven track record. Piruvate is a natural acid with several studies backing its claim to boost weight loss. Never try such a supplement without consulting a doctor. o Pizza Prevention: Prevent extra calories from entering your body by blotting your greasy pizza slice with a napkin. Just press the napkin on the pizza and hold for 30 seconds. When it is covered in grease, blot with another napkin, until hardly any grease is left. You can save 100 to 200 calories this way! o Salad Savvy: Be smart about your salads. Lesson One: Begin with a great foundation, by picking a lettuce with great health benefits. Leafy greens like romaine and spinach are perfect choices. Ordinary iceberg lettuce has little nutritional value. Lesson Two: Include nutritionally celebrated veggies such as broccoli florets, carrots (shredded if you are not crazy about the taste), onions, tomatoes, and red peppers. These veggies have more nutritional value then cucumbers. Words to live by: “Make your salad as colorful as possible.” Lesson Three: Don’t drown your veggie buddies in fat. Try a low-fat dressing such as Light Done Right or Just 2 Good brands. A fresh alternative: Prepare Good Seasons salad mix according to the “lighter version” recipe. What you are doing is substituting half of the oil with water. (Believe me, you won’t miss it, this stuff is heavenly!) Of course, use olive oil, the healthiest oil, and basalmic vinegar, the healthiest vinegar. o Eat Slowly: By eating slowly and savoring the flavor, you are allowing your stomach time to signal your brain that it is full. This usually takes about twenty minutes. So enjoy conversation between bites. o Graze: To graze is to snack lightly all day. Keep pretzels, fruit, nuts, and low-fat granola on hand to nosh on. Eating mini meals and snacks like this will keep your blood-sugar levels stable so your energy remains consistent. To prevent over-eating measure half-cup servings and place them in plastic bags or plastic containers. o Watch Your Drinks: Many people consume a great deal of their calories through what they drink. Therefore we all need to be pickier with what we choose to refresh us: Water is the best choice as it is nutritious and has no calories. One hundred percent fruit juice is the second best choice since it’s nutritious, but it has nearly 100 calories per 8 oz serving so be careful to keep 75 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology track of how many glasses you are gobbling down. And choose low-calorie soft drinks such as Crystal Light over their regular sugary counterparts, which often bank up to 200 calories a can without an ounce of nutrition. Another reason to watch your beverage consumption: alcohol. Alcoholic beverage consumption makes it difficult for your body to transport fat. Much of it accumulates in your liver, therefore it is more likely that it will be stored than burned off. Try to limit your alcohol intake to one drink a day. o Eat Mini-Meals: To keep your metabolic fireplace burning calories all day, you can try eating five mini meals instead of 3 big ones. Digesting food helps your body burn more calories so eat smaller meals more often and you will stay full. Five meals a day is a strategy used by celebrities to get in shape for red carpet events! o Stroll Before You Dine: A 30 minute pre-dinner stroll is a great strategy for slimming down. Your metabolic rate may begin to wane in the evening hours. A walk before you dine will rev up your fat burning engine again and will keep your metabolic rate up for at least two hours after you’ve stopped walking. This means that the calories you eat at the dinner table have less of a chance of converting to fat on your body and have more of a chance to be burned off as energy. Plus exercising before a meal can be a good psychological tool to keep you from overeating, since you are already “on a roll”. o Get More ZZZs: Besides giving you more energy, getting enough sleep can help you lose weight! When you don’t get enough shuteye, your body cannot burn as many calories as it can if you snooze for an adequate amount of time. Do not short change yourself. Snooze for at least 8 hours a night for maximum calorie burning night and day! Penelope Cruz sleeps for 12 hours a day! She feels that time spent sleeping equals time not spent eating. o Maximize Your Time: It is my firm belief that everyone can make time to work out. That’s right, everyone. But maybe you want to ensure that you burn the most calories possible in the shortest amount of time. If this is you, you might want to consider running for half an hour. A 150 pound woman burns 460 calories running for 30 minutes, where as she would only burn half of that by walking. o Measure Yourself: Measure your progress with a tape measure. Before you start your exercise regimen, measure your bust, waist, and hips. You may also choose to measure the circumference of your arms and thighs. Write down the measurements. You may also want to take a picture of yourself from the front, back, and side. Your scale will give you only half the story. The number on your scale can fluctuate due to so many reasons- the fact that you haven’t gone to the bathroom yet, the time of the month, medications you are taking, a gain in muscle tissue, the time of day, and even the weather! Seeing the numbers on the scale go up and down can be discouraging! Seeing the inches come off may be the incentive you need to keep you going! o Cop Caffeine: Good news for java lovers! Caffeine has recently been proven to increase your metabolic rate for an hour after swilling a cop of joe. But easy does it! More than 2 cups a day can make you irritable and jittery. 76 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology o Dental Care: Study after study shows that good dental hygiene, prevents binge eating. Brush your teeth after every meal, as the toothpaste will curb your appetite. Don’t waste your money on a toothpaste that is not ADA (American Dental Association) approved. Try a multitasking toothpaste like Colgate Total, which prevents cavities, freshens breath, fights tartar, etc… Floss at least once a day- try Glide floss, which glides easily through tiny spaces between teeth so it is less likely to get caught. Use Act dental rinse before bed for extra anti-cavity insurance. For consistently fresh breath, use a tongue scraper or inverted spoon to scrape the mucous off your tongue once a day. Use Listerine rinse in the morning, which is ADA approved to fight bad breath, plague and gingivitis. For really bad breath you might want to try rinsing your mouth with 1 part hydrogen peroxide to 4 parts warm water. Do not swallow. Drink plenty of water and chomp parsley. For chronic bad breath, find a dentist near you who offers oxygenation therapy. o Gloom Be Gone: Take the gloom out of exercise. Hang up pictures of people having fun while they exercise. Maybe a scene of people running along a beach, or bicycling along a gorgeous, scenic pathway will do the trick. Or schedule a weekly date at your local dance club. o Get Milk: Studies recently have proven that women who get the recommended amount of calcium each day lose weight faster than those who do not. Calcium allows you to metabolize fat at your optimal level. Be sure to get 1000 mg a day. o Avoid Liquid Calories: Because drinks like orange juice and grape juice are healthy, or because soft drinks and coffee don’t give us that feeling of being full and satisfied, we may mistakenly treat our consumption of liquid calories as a “no-damage free-for-all indulgence”. But these drinks can contain just as many calories as solid foods and so they can make you gain mega calories if they are consumed heedlessly. Because liquid calories don’t leave you feeling as full as solid foods like a sandwich you are likely to want a refill. Just four 8-ounce glasses of juice a day can add up to an extra 400 to 500 calories a day, about the same as eating a Whopper. Choose water with lemon instead. o Slash Your Sodium Intake: The average person takes in more than double the recommended daily value of sodium, which is 2400 mg. Unfortunately, salt is not a friend of people trying to slim down. Sodium can cause water retention, which results in looking and feeling bloated. To lose weight faster, monitor your sodium intake. The main problems include processed, prepackaged foods, like canned and bagged soups, stews, canned foods, frozen dinners, chips, pretzels, and some drinks. Go easy on these foods and experiment with new-to-you seasonings, like Mrs. Dash. Ask your doctor if a salt substitute is right for you. o Stay Home: If the gym motivates you, by all means go. Just seeing other people having to go through the same thing might inspire you. But studies show that you are likely to work out for a longer time at home than at the gym. Convenience is clearly the reason why this might be. Thinking about fighting traffic, to do lists, or about what you need to do when you get home may lead to a shorter distance logged on the treadmill due to anxiety. If you work out at the gym, you might want to put a few fitness accessories in your home, such as an 77 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology exercise video, a yoga mat, or a jump rope for those days when the gym seems over the hills and faraway. o Clean Out Your Cupboards: Studies show that most people snack because it’s convenient, and they feel like there is nothing better to do. Prepackaged foods, like chips, cookies and crackers have the worst nutritional value per serving and usually the greatest amount of fat and calories. Avoid temptation by cleaning out your cupboards and pantries, and tossing junk food snacks. Instead, stock them with healthy alternatives like light microwave popcorn, string cheese, pretzels, fruit, cottage cheese, salsa and chips. That way, in order to get the grub, you will have to take a run to the grocery store. o Keep Healthy Reading Materials on Hand: Research suggests that dieters who keep nutrition and fitness themed magazines and books by their bed have better weight loss success and find it easier to stick to their nutrition and fitness plans than those who do not. o Drink Green Tea with Honey: A recent study contrasted the metabolic rate of those who consumed green tea extract versus a placebo. Green tea drinkers burned an extra 70 calories in a 24-hour period. An additional 70 calories burned per day add up to a whopping total of 7.3 pounds lost in one year! What an effortless way to slim down! Researchers believe this amazing result is due to the metabolizing power of antioxidants called catechins found in green tea. Another recent study found that cyclists who ate 1 tbsp of honey before and during their workout put more power into their pedaling. Why not try drinking green tea sweetened with 1 tbsp of honey before your workout? o Make it so You Can’t Bail Out: If you’ve got money to put toward your weight loss goal, hire a personal trainer at your local gym and you will feel the need to keep your appointments. If you can’t afford a personal trainer, you can schedule fitness appointments with a friend. These people can hold you accountable for showing up. After the workout, do something that you both enjoy that will not hamper your results. This will encourage you both to keep the fitness appointment. After working out, I enjoy having a dinner at Applebee’s Neighborhood Bar and Grill restaurant because they have a Weight Watcher’s menu, which consists of many delicious dishes! 78 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part One: Body Chapter 5 How to Revitalize Your Body with Nutritious and Delicious Recipes Fruit-Packed Power Smoothies Smoothies can be used as snacks or as breakfasts. Power-Packed Peanut Butter-Banana Energy Smoothie Benefits: 2 fruit servings, protein, vitamin E and energy, all in one delicious drink! This smoothie is also nourishing for your hair. 1 banana 1 Tbsp peanut butter (natural if desired) 2 Tbsp wheat germ (toasted-honey flavor if desired) 2 cups skim milk Process in blender until smooth. Bountiful Banana-Berry Smoothie Benefits: Get 4 fruit servings and soy! 1 medium banana sliced and frozen 6 strawberries (frozen) or similar amount of another berry 2 Tbsp frozen orange juice concentrate, thawed 1 cup vanilla soy milk In blender, combine banana, berries and orange juice concentrate. Add vanilla soymilk, and blend until smooth and creamy. For high protein variation, follow recipe, but increase vanilla soymilk to 1 and ½ cups and add 1 cup strawberry soy yogurt and 2 Tbsp of soy protein powder. Amazing Apricot-Orange Smoothie Benefits: 250 calories and 2 g. fat. Serves 2. 1 calcium and fruit serving. 2 cups of ice cubes 1 can (15 oz.) apricots in light syrup 79 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology 6 oz. low-fat vanilla yogurt 1 cup orange juice with pulp 2 Tbsp ground flax seed In a blender, combine ice, apricots and their syrup, yogurt, orange juice and flax seed. Blend all ingredients until smooth. Makes 2 smoothies. Substitutions: Mangoes, cantaloupe, or papaya. Tropical Tango Health Smoothie Benefits: 2 fruit servings, soy and protein! ½ cup diced mango ½ cup pineapple chunks (fresh or canned in juice) 1 cup light or nonfat vanilla soymilk 1 Tbsp honey 2 ice cubes 2 Tbsp sliced almonds (toasted if desired) Combine diced mango, pineapple chunks, nonfat vanilla soymilk, honey, and ice cubes in a blender. Puree until smooth. Poor into tall glass and sprinkle with sliced almonds. Orange Creamsicle Smoothie Benefits: 2 fruit servings, vitamin E and soy ½ cup orange juice concentrate 1 seedless orange, peeled ¼ cup fat-free half-and-half 4 ice cubes ¼ tsp vanilla extract 1 Tbsp wheat germ Combine orange juice concentrate, orange, fat-free half-and-half, ice cubes and vanilla extract in a blender. Puree until smooth. Pour into tall glass and top with wheat germ. Perfect Protein Creamsicle Benefits: Calcium, protein, and Vitamin C ½ cup calcium-fortified orange juice ½ cup low-fat yogurt 80 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology 1 scoop protein powder 3 ice cubes In blender puree all ingredients until smooth. Banana-Mocha Cappuccino Smoothie Benefits: 1 dairy serving, 2 fruit servings, fiber, and a shot of caffeine! 1 cup nonfat or low-fat vanilla yogurt ¼ cup brewed coffee 1 banana 2 tsp cocoa powder 2 cups ice cubes Combine all ingredients in a blender. Process until smooth. Beneficial Breakfasts Each of these beneficial breakfasts is packed with nutrition and flavor! Hot Boysenberry Compote Over Cinnamon Pancakes Benefits: 2 fruit servings and whole-wheat flour! Compote: 2 cups frozen boysenberries 1/3 cup apple juice 1 Tbsp sugar 1 Tbsp cornstarch Pancakes: 1 tsp baking soda 1 ½ cups buttermilk 1 cup whole-wheat flour 1 Tbsp cinnamon 1 Tbsp sugar 2 egg whites 81 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology 1 tsp vanilla To make compote, combine boysenberries and apple juice in a small saucepan; simmer for 5 minutes. In a separate bowl, combine sugar and cornstarch and add to berry mixture, gently stirring until it boils. Remove compote from heat and let it cool slightly until it thickens. To make pancakes, dissolve baking soda in buttermilk in a small bowl; set aside. In a larger bowl, combine flour, cinnamon and sugar. Add buttermilk mixture, egg whites and vanilla, and blend. Spray griddle with vegetable-oil cooking spray. Ladle pancake mixture onto griddle and cook until pancakes are light brown on both sides. Serve with boysenberry compote. Makes 2 servings. Dream Oatmeal Benefits: The goodness of oats with added energy 1 cup non-instant oatmeal 2 Tbsp blackstrap molasses Stir blackstrap molasses into prepared oatmeal. Makes 1 serving. Scrumptious Whole-wheat Blueberry Muffins Benefits: Whole wheat and fruit! Calories per muffin: 165; 3.5 g. of fat. 1 ¼ cups unbleached white flour 1 cup whole-wheat flour 1 cup sugar ¼ cup ground flaxseed 2 ½ tsp. Baking soda 1 tsp salt 1 tsp ground cinnamon 3 cups whole-grain flake cereal with raisins (such as raisin brand) 2 cups low-fat buttermilk ¼ cup canola oil ¼ cup maple syrup 2 egg whites 1 large egg 1 tsp vanilla extract 2 cups frozen or fresh blueberries Heat oven to 425 (f) degrees. In a large bowl, sift together first 7 ingredients. Stir in the cereal. In another bowl, whisk together the next 6 ingredients. Do not over-mix. 82 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Scrape sides of bowl and gently fold in the blueberries. Spoon heaping quarter-cupfulls of batter into regular-size muffin tins coated with cooking spray. Bake 20 minutes or until a tester inserted in center of muffins comes out clean. Let cool on a wire rack five minutes, then remove muffins from the pan to cool completely on a wire rack. Makes about 2 dozen servings. Nutrition-Packed Dinners Delectable Chicken Fajitas Benefits: Lots of veggies, protein, and whole wheat ¼ cup frozen chopped onions ½ cup frozen sliced bell peppers ½ cup each cooked shredded chicken ½ cup canned black beans 2 Tbsp salsa 1 Tbsp fat-free sour cream 1 whole-wheat tortilla In nonstick skillet cook onions until tender. Add peppers and cook until crisptender. Add chicken and black beans and salsa. Heat through. Serve in tortilla, top with sour cream and roll-up. Makes 1 serving. Intense Italian Pasta Benefits: Fiber, vitamin A, and lycopene 1 (28-oz) can whole plum tomatoes, drained 10 oz orecchiette or other small pasta shells 1 Tbsp olive oil 2 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed 1 pound broccoli raab (also known as rapini), washed well, cut into 2 inch pieces 1 ½ Tbsp red wine vinegar 1 tsp freshly ground black pepper ¼ tsp salt To roast the tomatoes, preheat oven to 350 degrees (f). Place tomatoes on lightly oiled baking sheet. Roast 90 minutes, turning after 45 minutes, until very soft and lightly 83 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology blackened. Once cooled, chop tomatoes and set aside. Cook the pasta as directed on the package. Drain, reserving ¼ of liquid. In a large nonstick skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Add crushed garlic and cook until slightly golden, 1-2 minutes. Add broccoli raab to skillet, raise heat to high. Cook, tossing constantly, until greens are just wilted, 4-5 minutes. Add tomatoes, cooked pasta, reserved cooking liquid, red wine vinegar and pepper. Toss well. Serve promptly. Makes 4 servings. Zesty Pasta Twists Benefit: Leafy greens and a major supply of veggies. 8 oz rotelle or gemelli pasta 4 garlic cloves, minced ¼ tsp salt ½ tsp crushed red pepper flakes 4 tsp olive oil 1 large red onion, halved and thinly sliced 1 large bell pepper cut into thin strips 1 pound broccoli raab, tougher stems trimmed, cut into 1-inch lengths 1 cup fat-free chicken broth ¼ cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese 2 tsp slivered fresh basil leaves In a large saucepan over high heat, cook pasta twists according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a large, deep nonstick skillet, cook garlic, salt and crushed red pepper flakes in hot oil 1 minute or until golden and fragrant. Stir in red onion and bell pepper. Cook 10 minutes, stirring often, until crisp-tender. Add broccoli raab; cook 5 minutes or until just wilted. Add broth and bring to a boil. Cover and cook 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until tender. Drain pasta and add broccoli raab mixture. Cook 2 minutes, stirring rapidly, until the pasta twists soak up the juices. Sprinkle with freshly grated Parmesan and basil leaves before serving. Makes 4 servings. Angel Hair Pasta with Broccoli and Scallops Benefits: Veggies, protein and seven grams of fiber! 8 oz. uncooked angel hair pasta 2 cloves fresh garlic, minced 2 Tbsp olive oil 1 lb. sea scallops 84 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology 2 cans (14 ½ oz. each) Italian style stewed tomatoes ½ cup dry white wine ¼ cup chopped fresh parsley 1/3 cup coarsely chopped fresh basil, divided 1 pkg. (8 oz) frozen broccoli florets, thawed 4 Tbsp freshly grated Parmesan cheese Cook pasta according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a non-stick skillet over medium heat, cook minced garlic in hot oil one minute, stirring constantly until garlic is golden but not browned. Add scallops in a single layer without crowding pan (if necessary, do this in 2 batches). Sear one minute on each side. Remove, put in a plate, and keep warm. Add tomatoes, wine, parsley and half of the basil to the skillet. Cook 8 minutes, stirring occasionally, until liquid is reduced by half. Add broccoli, remaining basil, and scallops; cook for 2 minutes or until heated through. Meanwhile, drain pasta. Serve with sauce and cheese. Makes 4 servings. Peppery Tuna with Mango Salsa Benefits: Protein and fruit! 1 piece tuna with ½ cup mango relish is only 252 calories and 2 g. of fat. 2 mangoes 6 Tbsp chopped fresh cilantro, plus whole leaves for garnish Salt to taste ¼ tsp black pepper, coarsely ground 4 (6 oz.) fresh tuna steaks Nonstick cooking spray Peel mangoes, dice flesh into ¼ inch pieces. Transfer to a small bowl. Add chopped cilantro, a pinch of salt and mix well. Place mango relish in refrigerator for a at least 30 minutes. Lightly press coarsely ground black pepper into one side of each tuna steak. Sprinkle with salt. Place fish, pepper-side down, in a large skillet coated with nonstick cooking spray. Cook on both sides over medium-high heat until the fish is seared on the outside but still pink in the center. Cut seared tuna on the bias into ½-inch thick slices. Place a mound of the mango relish in the center of each plate. Arrange the tuna slices so that they overlap to form a circle around the relish. Garnish with the whole fresh cilantro leaves. Makes 4 servings. 85 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Divinely Delicious Veggies Orangey-Honey Carrots: Benefits: 1 serving of veggies with some major flavor 1 Tbsp butter 1 leek, white part only, halved, sliced, washed thoroughly 1 pound carrots, sliced 1 cup apple juice ¼ cup honey 1 cinnamon stick 1 tsp ground cumin 2 tsp chopped fresh mint ¼ tsp salt 1 dash pepper Melt the butter in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the leek and cook for 2 minutes or until it is lightly browned. Reduce the heat to medium. Add the carrots and cook for 2 minutes or until they are lightly browned. Add the remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer for 15 minutes or until carrots are soft. Discard the cinnamon stick before serving. 122 calories, 2 g fat. Makes 6 servings. Fresh Green Beans with Flavorful Turkey Bacon Benefits: Veggies and protein in this side dish that doubles as an appetizer 1 Tbsp salt Dash of freshly ground black pepper 1 lb fresh green beans, trimmed and cut into 2-inch lengths 2 oz turkey bacon, finely diced 2 cloves garlic, minced 2 Tbsp chopped fresh savory (or fresh oregano) Boil a large pot of water and add the salt. Place the green beans into the water and cook for 3 minutes; drain in a colander. In a large skillet, cook the bacon over mediumlow heat, stirring until it is almost crisp. Pour off all but 1 Tbsp of the bacon fat. Add the garlic to the skillet and cook over medium-low heat for 30 seconds, being sure to stir 86 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology constantly. Raise the heat, then add the beans and savory (or oregano) and toss for 1 to 2 minutes to blend the flavors. Season with pepper and salt to taste. 122 calories, 6 g fat. Makes 4 servings. Healthy Hors D’oeuvres Spicy Red Pepper Hummus: Benefits: A great party food with protein and a huge metabolic boost 4 cloves of garlic, unpeeled 1/3 cup packed fresh parsley leaves 15 oz. canned chick peas (garbanzo) rinsed and drained 1 cup jarred roasted red peppers, rinsed and drained well 6 pitted, oil-cured black olives 2 Tbsp of tahini 2 Tbsp of lemon juice ½ tsp salt (if desired) 1 Tbsp mild cayenne sauce, such as Frank’s Red or Texas Pete. Precut veggie sticks Whole-wheat pita wedges for dipping Place garlic in small dish or custard cup, adding enough water to just cover garlic (about 3 Tbsp). Cover dish with plastic wrap and microwave 1 minute at full power; discard water. When cool enough to handle, squeeze garlic into food processor, add parsley and process until chopped. Add chickpeas, peppers, olives, tahini, lemon juice and pepper sauce. Blend until smooth. Serve with pita wedges and raw veggie sticks. Teriyaki Tofu Special Occasion Sandwich: Benefits: Whole grains and tofu. 439 calories and 17 g. of fat. Marinade: 6 Tbsp light soy sauce 1 tsp sesame oil 1 tsp sesame seeds (optional) 2 Tbsp or sugar ½ cup plus 2 Tbsp apple juice 1 ½ tsp minced fresh garlic 87 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology 1 ½ finely minced ginger 1 dash salt Sandwiches 14 oz. Firm tofu cut into 12 equal slices 8 slices of whole grain bread 1 cup roasted rep pepper pieces 4 oz. Part-skim mozzarella cheese, thinly sliced In a shallow bowl, whisk together marinade ingredients until fully blended; pour over tofu. Gently turn tofu slices to coat well and let stand for 5 minutes. Meanwhile position broiler rack 6 inches from the heat source and heat broiler. (Alternatively, heat grill to medium-high for direct heat.) Broil or grill tofu slices until lightly browned; gently turn and cook 5 minutes more. Meanwhile, toast or grill bread until lightly browned on both sides. Top 4 pieces of toast with 3 pieces of tofu each. Arrange roasted rep pepper strips and cheese slices on top. Return to broiler or grill to melt cheese. Top with a second slice of toast and cut into triangles to serve if desired. Makes 4 servings. Supercharged Soups Spectacular Spicy Curried Carrot Soup Benefits: Burstin with 42,000 IUs of vitamin A per serving. It only has 85 calories and 0.6 g. fat! You may also serve it chilled. 2 lbs carrots, peeled and cut into 1-inch pieces (about 6 cups) 5 cups low-sodium chicken broth, canned or homemade 1 dried, hot chili pepper, any type (optional) 4 tsp minced fresh ginger 3 cloves garlic, peeled 1 tsp curry powder 1tsp ground cumin ½ tsp freshly ground black pepper 3 Tbsp chopped fresh cilantro leaves In a large (5-quart) saucepan, combine all ingredients except cilantro. Bring mixture to a boil, then reduce heat to low and simmer 30 minutes or until carrots are tender. Transfer mixture to a food processor in batches, 2-3 cups at a time. Puree until smooth. Return the puree to the saucepan and reheat. Stir in chopped cilantro. Serve promptly. Makes 6 servings. 88 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Gazpacho Goodness Benefits: Major vegetables and tons of lycopene! Serve it cold for a “home spa” treat! 2 large tomatoes 1 large cucumber, peeled, halved lengthwise, seeded 1 medium onion 1 large roasted red bell pepper (available in jars) 3 cups tomato juice ½ cup chopped fresh cilantro 1/3 cup red wine vinegar ¼ cup olive oil 1/8 tsp hot pepper sauce (such as Tabasco) Cut 1 tomato, ½ cup cucumber and ½ onion into 1-inch pieces and transfer to processor. Add bell pepper and puree. Transfer into bowl. Add tomato juice, cilantro, vinegar, oil and hot pepper sauce. Seed remaining tomato and dice along with remaining cucumber and onion halves. Add to soup and season with salt and pepper. Refrigerate. Makes 4 servings. Easy Green Soup & Yogurt Sauce Benefit: Delicious way to get your leafy greens. There are three sources of calcium in one serving (yogurt, skim milk, and greens), and fiber, vitamins, iron, magnesium, potassium, folate, lutein and beta carotene to boot! 4 cups packed torn spinach or escarole 1 package (10 oz) frozen chopped mustard greens 2 medium zucchini, trimmed and chopped 1 can (14 ½ oz) fat-free chicken broth 3 garlic cloves, peeled ½ cup 1 percent milk ¼ tsp salt ¼ tsp freshly ground black pepper 2 cups yogurt ½ cup cilantro 2 Tbsp olive oil In a large saucepan over high heat, combine escarole, mustard greens, zucchini, chicken broth and garlic with 1 ½ cups cold water. Cover and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low. Simmer 25 to 30 minutes, stirring once, until vegetables are very tender. 89 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Puree in batches in food processor or blender. Return to saucepan and stir in milk, salt and pepper. Gently reheat over medium heat; do not bring to a boil. Meanwhile, prepare sauce. Chop garlic with salt until mixture forms a paste; scrape into a small bowl. Stir in yogurt, cilantro, olive oil and pepper. Serve with soup. Makes 4 servings. Delicious Junk Food Substitutes Country Oven-Fried Chicken: Benefit: A healthy lower-fat version of a classic. 302 calories and 2 g. fat. 1 cup buttermilk 2 tsp hot sauce (optional) 6 (6 oz.) skinned chicken breast halves 3 cups Corn Chex or corn flakes cereal ¾ cup self-rising flour 2 tsp Creole or Cajun seasonings Nonstick coating spray Combine the buttermilk and the hot sauce in a heavy-duty resealable plastic bag. Add chicken and seal bag. Chill at least 4 hours; turn bag occasionally. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees (f). Crush cereal into crumbs in food processor. Pour into a shallow dish; Stir in flour and seasonings. Remove chicken from buttermilk, letting excess drip off. Drench chicken in cereal mixture. Arrange pieces, bone-side down, on a cookie sheet or shallow baking pan coated with non-stick cooking spray. Coat tops of chicken lightly with cooking spray. Bake on a bottom shelf of oven for twenty minutes. Use a wide metal spatula to carefully loosen and turn chicken. Coat other sides with cooking spray and bake fifteen minutes. Loosen and turn chicken again, coat topside with cooking spray again and bake 10-15 minutes or until juices run clear when chicken is pierced. Note: To cook skinless, boneless chicken, batter as directed above but bake just 20 minutes per side. Makes 6 servings. Blackened Shrimp Po’ Boy Benefit: A Cajun favorite with less fat than the original version. 430 calories and 14 g. of fat. 1 lb. large raw fresh shrimp, peeled and deveined 1 tbsp Cajun blackened seasoning for seafood ¼ cup plus 2 tbsp low-fat mayonnaise 90 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology 2 tbsp Dijon mustard 2 ½ tbsp lime juice 4 (6 inch) whole-wheat submarine rolls 1 tbsp plus 1 tsp butter or margarine divided 2 medium green or red bell peppers, divided 2 cloves garlic minced Toss the shrimp and the Cajun seasoning in a small bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate 30 minutes to 1 hour. Combine mayonnaise, mustard, and lime juice; mix well. Set aside. Split submarine rolls. Pull out centers of roll halves, leaving 1 inch shell at edges and 1 half inch at bottoms. (The roll centers can be reserved for later use, such as for making bread crumbs.) Set rolls aside. Melt 1 Tbsp butter in a large, non-stick skillet over medium-high heat. Add shrimp and sauté 4-5 minutes or until shrimp are opaque. Remove shrimp from skillet and set aside. Reduce heat to medium. Add remaining butter to skillet. Add peppers and sauté 5 minutes. Add garlic and sauté another five minutes or until peppers are tender. Spread 2 tsp of mayonnaise in each roll bottom. Spoon pepper-garlic mixture into roll bottoms. Spoon shrimp evenly over pepper-garlic mixture. Drizzle remaining mayonnaise mixture evenly over shrimp, and cover with roll tops. Serve immediately. Makes 4 servings. 91 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part One: Body Chapter 6 How to Be In Shape, Energized, and Physically Fit with Fitness Secrets The Key to Fitness The word is motivation. Without it, you might as well throw in the towel before you so much as sweat on it. Without motivation you are indifferent and therefore inefficient. When you cannot visualize the rewards, or take notice of the immediate benefits then you may be inclined to quit. Any time you need motivation, review the passage below: The Benefits of Exercise Regular exercise has innumerable benefits to both your physiological and psychological health. Exercise reduces and alleviates negative feelings such as anxiety, depression, and stress. It battles fatigue, infusing you with long term energy. It reduces the risk of numerous health problems. It can induce feelings of elation and euphoria by releasing endorphins. It makes you feel better and look better. Because more oxygen can make its way to your brain, you will notice that you are mentally more efficient. You will be able to think faster and more clearly. The Big Three At the very minimum, you should engage in three 20 minute sessions of aerobics per week, two 20 minute sessions of muscle sculpting, and at least 5 minutes of stretching before and after every workout. 92 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Areobicize Suck that oxygen into your body; energize and get your blood circulating. You will also strengthen your heart and your endurance so that you can easily get through your daily tasks. You will boost your metabolism and get an endorphin rush, which will last for two hours after each workout. Don’t forget to warm up and cool down for five minutes each to avoid body-shock. The following are some of the best gems I have uncovered in the aerobics arena: • The Firm: This brand of workout videos guarantees visible results within 10 workouts. They claim to be the most effective videos on the market and I won’t dispute that! These videos are motivating and never boring. Be sure to weigh yourself and use your measuring tape before the first workout and after the tenth workout to see if their guarantee worked for you! • Orbitrek: I first saw the Orbitrek on one of those late night infomercials and was intrigued. I now have one in my house and let me tell you…I used my Orbitrek only seven times for 20 minutes each time and dropped almost 10 pounds. I kid you not. This machine is amazing. It’s an elliptical machine, which is sturdy, and about a third of the size of the elliptical machines you’d find in a gym. The best part is it’s affordable! The manufacturers claim that time on the Orbitrek is equal to three times the amount of time doing ordinary exercises. Because of my experience, I can’t dispute this either! • Spinning: Spinning is a class offered at gyms nationwide. Participants use a type of stationary bike. The special thing about these classes is the intense motivation that they provide participants. Sometimes there are visuals that make it seem like you are biking through mountains and by oceans. Spinning is so effective that burning 800 calories in an hour is not unusual. Bring a hand towel, water bottle and cushioned, gel, bicycle seat cover for your class. • Biking and Skating: These two activities blast major calories while giving you a feeling of freedom and exploration. Feel even freer to explore with the ultra-safe helmet from Sportscope. It has segmented panels which conform to your head for a snug, shiftless fit. Visit scope.com for more info. • Swimming: Many people are turned off by aerobic exercise because of the seat factor. If this is you, why not swim laps in your pool. Challenge yourself to swim five more laps each day. Don’t have a pool? Get a gym membership to a fitness center that has one. • Walking: Walking is a great aerobic exercise. It is great for people who like to don some headphones and listen to music or for twosomes that like to multitask by socializing and working out at the same time. A great tip is to buy a pedometer, which is a device that counts how many steps you take. In an ideal day you would have taken 10,000 steps. Or challenge yourself to walk for five more minutes each week. 93 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Sculpt Muscle New research suggests that this form of exercise is actually the most effective for boosting your metabolism. When you lift weights, you are actually burning calories when you are at rest as well as when you are actually lifting. Here are some tips: • Give Your Muscles a Break: The most important thing to remember is to never weight train two days in a row. Let at least 48 hours pass before your next workout. Your muscles need time to recuperate. • Build a Weight-Lifting Program: If you prefer working out in a gym, have an instructor set up a weight lifting program for you. List all the recommended weight machines, recommended weight in pounds to lift, and recommended number of repetitions on a chart, clip it on a clipboard and carry it from machine to machine. You may want to make photocopies and check off each set as you complete it. This will help you stay motivated as you see your progress. • Flatten Your Abs: Besides revving up your metabolism, weight lifting is crucial for toning your body. One of the toughest body parts to tame is your tummy. Crunches are the most popular exercise for toning up your abs, but not the most effective. The top 3 exercises for toning up your abs include “the bicycle” where you alternate bending and straightening your legs, the captain’s chair, which is done on a standing apparatus in a gym, where you lift your legs to your chest, and crunches done on an exercise ball. If you’d like to stick with traditional crunches, be sure to do them as slowly as possible. Fewer crunches done slowly are more effective than a ton done in record time. This doesn’t seem to sway celebrities, though, who on average do about three hundred a day. You will also want to do a variety of crunch exercises as different ones target different areas. For those who find crunches yawn-inducing, cardio boxing or Tae Bo is a great unconventional way to work your abs. • Sculpt Your Body At Home: If you prefer working out with free weights, invest in three different sets of free weights. You may want to start with a set of 3 lb, 5 lb, and 8 lb weights. Build up your strength and endurance before moving onto the next set. A very motivating, fun-to-read book to have on hand is Selene Yeager’s Perfectly Fit: 8 Weeks to a Sleek and Sexy Body. Selene is a certified trainer, mountain bike racer, fitness consultant and has been a regular columnist in Bicycling Magazine. Her book contains photographs that illustrate how to do many different exercises so that you can customize a routine for yourself. Her method also includes “combination moves” which blend several different moves into one exercise so you spend less time working out. This book is where you will find all the most efficient exercises for working out your problem areas, like your abdominal muscles, hips, thighs and buttocks. For more information log onto rodalesportsandfitness.com. • Boost Your Metabolism: If you are not working out regularly, you are going to lose about 5 pounds of muscle over the next 5 years. A pound of muscle burns 35 to 40 calories a day, so skipping strength training specifically seems down right silly. But if you want to boost muscle, and aren’t crazy about curling free weights in your hand, you have another option- yoga. Indian studies have shown that your 94 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology metabolism is raised for approximately 90 minutes following a yoga session. Yoga’s stretching and strengthening poses put your body into positions it’s not used to being in. Therefore they revitalize you and charge your metabolism as you must use your body as weight to sustain the pose. Stretch Stretching relieves tension in your muscles and joints. It keeps you flexible and alleviates stress. It prevents injuries. You absolutely should not skip stretching. Here are some tips: • If you find stretching to be a big snooze, invest in a medicine ball, a big ball you can lay on backwards or forwards, stretching your abs or back by rocking back and forth. Many fitness gurus recommend that you do your abdominal crunches on a big fitness ball as well, as it makes the regimen a lot more challenging. Find one at gymsource.com. • Yoga incorporates some great stretching into its various positions. • Invest in a body band. This will add variety and resistance to your stretching sessions. This can also be found at gymsource.com. Supplement Your Fitness Program The greatest benefits are derived from variety in working out. Eventually, if you don’t shake things up a bit, your muscles will adapt to routine as you are no longer challenging them. This will result in a muscle building “plateau”. Do different workouts as often as possible: use different videos, different machines, go for walks, runs, bike, skate, dance, swim, and try some of the following: • Rejuvenation through Yoga: The benefits of yoga are innumerable. It is a destressing, head-clearing, meditative activity, which just so happens to incorporate a lot of deep breathing, muscle toning, stretching and strengthening into the mix. Yoga stretches are said to lengthen your muscles, massage the internal organs and remove toxins that build up from stress and environmental factors. Yoga standing postures help correct and strengthen your spinal alignment. Yoga bends help lower your blood pressure and work your lower muscles. The deep breathing helps to cleanse your body and nourishes it with additional stores of oxygen. Can’t afford to go to yoga class? Pick up a mat (gymsource.com) and a copy of Basic Yoga for Dummies with Sara Ivanhoe. This video introduces the basic yoga positions, such as the Cat and the Cobra. • Discover the Pilates Secret: Believe the hype of the many actresses and models who swear by this core-strengthening set of exercises. Based on the rehabilitation exercises created by the late Joseph Pilates, these exercises do much more than just strengthen your abs and back (the focus). Your whole body will become tone and taught! Start with a great video such as The Method Pilates Precision Toning with Jennifer Kries. Call (800) 272-4214 to order. You will also need a mat which you can get at gymsource.com 95 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Be a Goddess: The Goddess Workout with Dolphina, is a very mind-body-spirit oriented workout video which features an enchanting soundtrack and will teach you some great belly dancing moves. It’s not a workout, it’s a goddess lifestyle! • Tae Bo II: This workout is fun and goes by in record time. It is easy to follow, but intense at the same time. I was bouncing with the glee of childhood to a pumping, exhilarating soundtrack of club type-tribal rhythms. I never breathed so much in my life, inhaling and exhaling at a record-pace. I not only imagined, but felt the oxygen coursing through my body, nourishing every cell, I am sure. Tae Bo II is a collection of 6 videos, including: an instructional video, 2 basic workouts lasting 30 minutes each, 2 advanced workouts lasting 60 minutes each, and an 8 minute “blast” workout, for an emergency workout when you have little time. With this much convenience and variety you never really have an excuse! • Oxygenize: While aerobic exercise is great for getting the oxygen circulating in your body, you can also try a deep-breathing workout. Many people don’t feel as good and energized as they could because they are shallow breathers. As a result they have higher levels of carbon dioxide in their blood, which increases fatigue and anxiety. Bodyflex is an 18 minute workout designed to help you maximize your deep-breathing capacity. After doing this workout, I felt like I had taken a shower inside my body, that’s how rejuvenated I felt. 96 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part One: Body Chapter 7 How to Revitalize Your Body with Exciting Fitness Adventures Reward yourself for adhering to a fitness program by treating yourself to the ultimate fitness reward…a fitness adventure. You will maintain your fitness gains while you enjoy a rejuvenating getaway! Spoil Yourself at a Spa After a good six months of dedication to your nutrition and fitness regimens you deserve to reward yourself, by pampering your body at a spa. Fitness programs , massages, facials, pedicures, manicures, healthy gourmet food, fruity smoothies, hot rock therapy, body wraps and beautiful scenery await you. Find one at spafinder.com. An Adventure Spa There are vacation packages designed to relax you and others designed for adventure. And then there are those vacations designed for both relaxation and adventure…such as Red Mountain, which is located in St. George, Utah. It is an “adventure spa” located at a canyon surrounded by red mountains. Here you will find adventure, fitness, rest, hiking, and pampering. Your program fee includes accommodations, meals, daily guided hiking and cycling, fitness and healthy living classes. Call (800)407-3002 for more information or log onto redmountainspa.com. Activity and Luxury Imagine a gorgeous, sprawling resort with beautiful landscaping, canyon trails, a pool, a spa and a ton of activities. At Rancho Valencia Resort, south of Los Angeles, you can take world-class tennis lessons, go for a hike and explore Torrey Pines State Reserve, or bike through miles of canyon trails. Or take a yoga class followed by a luxury spa treatment. In the evening dine at Rancho Valencia Restaurant where you will indulge in healthy, gourmet fare. Call (800)548-3664. 97 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Inline Skating Escapade Paved bike trails are the perfect place for a scenic, smooth and steady skating experience. Pumping your arms and stretching your legs in long powerful strides will seem effortless as you take in the awesome environment of the following locations: Blackhand Gorge Bikeway is located in Columbus Ohio. Here you can glide along a 4.26-mile trail through the gorgeous state nature preserve. Call (614) 265-6791 for more information. Feel like pushing yourself even more? Try the nearby 5-mile Panhandle Trail. Boise River Greenbelt Trail in Boise, ID extends for 22 miles, meandering through scenic meadows, parks, memorials and downtown Boise. Call (208)384-4240 for more information. Rejuvenating Run If you love to run, why not treat your eyes and mind to a scenic sprint? Manassas National Battlefield, in Manassas, Virginia has some of the best and most beautiful running trails in Virginia. Pick up a trail map at the visitor’s center and enjoy the views and history, which await you. Soapstone Mountain/Shenipsit State Forest in Stafford Springs, CT has over 30 miles of mountain trails and breathtaking views! Yoga Quest For the ultimate mind, body and spiritual experience, take your yoga mat to a flat spot on top of a mountain or by a lake. Yoga Expeditions for Women specializes in yoga/adventure retreats for women only. Contact them at (970)349-7047 to arrange a week of yogathemed adventure! Wrangell-St. Elias National Monument Copper Center in Alaska is about a day’s drive from Anchorage. It includes the continent’s biggest assemblage of glaciers and peaks above 16,000 feet which makes for an icy-cool vista! Seascape Swim You can explore 17.5 miles of the sparkling Atlantic seacoast at Cumberland Island National Seashore at Saint Mary’s in Georgia. The gorgeous, blue spectacle makes for a fabulous long swim. And when your back on shore, check out the park’s 35,415 acres. Call the park at (912) 882-4335. 98 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Spectacular Stroll If walking is more your speed, take your amble to an enchanting vista along the Missouri River, where your sure to see bald eagles, red-tailed hawks, or great blue herons. Katy Trail, in Boonville, MO is 225 miles long. For more information, call (800)334-6946. Go Take a Hike Looking for some exotic hiking scenery? How about traversing a 46 mile long trail of sparkling glaciers? If you’re looking for a 5 day hiking trip, contact Watcom Pass at North Cascades National Park. Call (360)856-5700 for more information. Breathtaking Bike Ride For an inspiring mountain bike ride, visit Poison Spider Mesa in Moab, Utah. Here you will cycle past extraordinary rock formations. For more information call (800)635-6622 or log onto DiscoverMoab.com for more information. 99 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part One: Body Chapter 8 How to Organize and Beautify Your Environment Nothing has the power to make or break your productivity like your environment. Nothing is more enervating or exhausting than getting up in the morning to a disorganized, cluttered, messy environment. If you do not have a neat, tidy space in which to live, many times you would rather just stay in bed or make more of a mess. Messes are not conducive to productivity. But how do you design living spaces that can remain neat and tidy-everyday, not just when company is coming? The answer? Live by the following three maxims. Three Steps to a Neat, Clean and Organized Living Space • Maxim #1: The less stuff you have, the less mess you have. Contrary to popular belief, less is more when it comes to possessions (and no, shoes are not the exception to the rule). If you have tons of shoes, chances are you will never wear some of them and thus, they merely take up space. The less space you have, the less room you have to be productive, to be creative, and to have fun. The more stuff you have, the more stuff you have to clean and the more storage space you need. Possessions require dusting, cleaning and organizing. Plus you have to move them out of the way to dust the shelf they are sitting on. The moral of this story: Fewer possessions means less cleaning and more space for living! A rule to live by: If a possession has no sentimental value and you haven’t used it in over a year, give it away or give it up. Identify all these items and give them to charity, friends, or hold a tag sale. There is no need to trash something that is perfectly useful. Another rule to live by: When it comes to clothes, it seems like an infinite variety is ideal. But if your closet is totally jammed with frocks, the latest getup may become “out of sight, out of mind”. To avoid this sartorial shame, each time you buy a new article of clothing, give one that you hardly ever wear anymore to charity. • Maxim #2: A place for everything and everything in its place. For the items that remain after your inspection, you must decide where their permanent home will be. Take the remaining items and group them into “like” piles. For example, put all stationary items and all hair care items together. Then decide where you will put the items and what type of storage container you will put them in. Will they go under the bed in a long storage bin? Will they go on a shelf in a decorative basket? It is 100 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology only after you assign a logical place where things go when they’re not in use, that you become truly organized. Besides, providing you with a neat, orderly environment, getting organized enables you to locate something that you need in seconds flat. If you have a desktop caddy, which holds your scissors and scotch tape, you won’t waste countless time rummaging through a “junk drawer”. (This term should be banished from every organized gal’s vocabulary!) Keep your Christmas wrap in a bin and you won’t have to shop for it next year! Assigning a place for everything is where space savers, bins, tubs, shelves, hangers, organizing systems, decorative baskets, filing cabinets and stackable drawers come in. Some ideas: Install a closet organizing system. This will enable you to create more space for hanging clothes and will instantly create shelves for storing other items. Identify your goals and then assign a stackable drawer or bin to each. Keep all your tools, paperwork and accessories devoted to accomplishing the goal in its respective bin. Stackable drawers or bins enable you to keep all of your pursuits organized and separated, yet in the same location. And instead of having an assigned home just for information or tools pertaining to your goals, assign a drawer for your healthy habits too. For example, I have a stackable drawer for each of the following: writing, music, art, fitness, nutrition, business, work, school, travel, finances, and recipes. Once you have a place for everything, be sure to put everything in its place after you are done using it and you will never feel exhausted or overwhelmed by messy clutter again. • Maxim 3#: Cut cleaning time in half. To keep your environment pleasant, your room or home requires both neatness and cleanliness. Let’s face it: Cleaning is lame. But there is good news: Cleaning burns calories, and you can make it easier. Invest in products that revolutionize the cleaning process. Some of my new favorites: Sweep n Mop. This gadget is a broom and mop in one! It traps dirt, dust, debris and grime while mopping the floor and making it sparkle. It’s the only broom or mop you will ever need! It’s only 10.00 plus shipping and handling. Visit Sweepnmop.com. Swiffer brand dusters allow you to literally capture dust in its microfibers. Unlike a feather duster, which merely relocates dust to the floor, these cloths hold the dust that you pick up so that it doesn’t fall elsewhere, but sticks to the fibers until you throw it away. Shower Shine is a spray that enables you to keep a sparkling clean shower without having to scrub. You simply mist it on your bathtub floor and walls after you shower! Swiffer brand floor cleaning products enable you to sweep the floor without a dustpan or mop the floor without a bucket! There are two types of Swiffer cloths for the floor, a dry one for sweeping and a wet one for mopping! Other products that encourage you to clean by taking some of the pain out of the job are the new crop of household cleaners, sprays, and such that are scented like citrus fruits, berries and rainfalls. If you hate to vacuum, have a robot do the dirty work for you! While R2D2 is too busy with his movie career, another robot called Robovac, as featured in JCPenney catalog, will be perfectly content to wander your carpets gobbling up your dirt and dust. 101 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Problem Solving: Stressed Out about Clutter What is the problem? I feel overwhelmed because I just moved into my new apartment and it’s brimming with unpacked boxes and clutter. Be more specific about what about the problem is bothering you: I have boxes and boxes of my stuff strewn all over the place. I have very little storage space so I am going to have to go through each and every thing and throw out what I don’t need to make room and organize what I do need. How does this make you feel? I hate clutter. I am a firm believer in the phrase, “A cluttered desk is a cluttered mind”. Clutter makes me feel disorganized, confused, and stressed out. It gets in my way, it makes it hard to find things I need, and it looks horrible. When I look at all the boxes brimming with my stuff, and the current messy state of my apartment, it drains my energy. I feel like I am living in “transition mode”. Can you think of anything you can do to solve this problem? I want to de-clutter my place by finally putting this stuff away, so that I can get on with my life. Is there anything preventing you from doing this? Putting it all away seems like such an insurmountable task. When I look at the amount of stuff I have to put away, I get tired before I even begin. So I keep procrastinating. So I keep living in this chaos. If so, what do you need to conquer this obstacle? • • • I need more energy. I need more motivation. I am a pack rat that finds it hard to throw things away. 102 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Describe how you will do this: • To get more energy, I will keep myself hydrated as I work by drinking water or Gatorade. Gatorade is a really good choice for getting big, physical tasks done. It replenishes your body’s energy with electrolytes and is used by athletes for staying hydrated and energized during big games. When I start to feel tired, I will get some fresh air and do some stretching. To rejuvenate myself. • I will motivate myself by closing my eyes and vividly imagining my place clutter-free. I will focus on how lovely and spacious it looks. I will imagine myself doing my daily tasks more efficiently and moving about freely. I imagine how fabulous and liberating it will feel to have conquered this challenge. I will also decide on the reward I will give myself at the end of the task, perhaps, watching a movie I’ve always wanted to see in my new clutter-free living room. • A good rule of thumb of organization experts is to throw away anything that I have not used for over a year. I will try to be as honest as possible when I ask myself if I will ever use the item again. Now make a plan: • • • • • I will start at one end of the room. I will move through the boxes one by one, removing the contents. As I pick up each item, I will decide if I will keep the item or throw it away. If it is something that is very valuable or sentimental I will put it in storage. The rest of the stuff that I am not tossing or storing, I will put into category piles. For example, hair accessories, DVDs, books, etc… Then I will assign each category pile to a drawer, or shelf, etc…If I don’t have enough spaces, I can buy organizers, bins, or containers to divide the spaces that I do have. So everything will have a home and I always return items to the appropriate place. I will live by the motto, “A cluttered desk is a cluttered mind.” 103 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology How to Organize Your Home Whether your life is concentrated in a bedroom at your parent’s house, or you rent an apartment, or own a house, you will benefit immensely by completely organizing your living space. Your life will be much easier when you know where everything is. You will no longer have those panic attacks when you run around searching in vain for your keys or your Social Security card! Your mood will also be lifted by the order of your surroundings. • Get four trays, bins or baskets labeled To Do, To Pay, To Read, and To File. Put all of your paperwork into one of these four containers. Your To Do tray can hold coupons for oil changes, paper work you need to fill out and mail, or a reminder to make an appointment. The To Pay tray can hold your bills. The To Do and To Pay trays should be placed near each other (or should be of the stackable variety). These should also be placed by a calendar so you can clearly mark due dates for your bills in your To Pay tray, or mark when you plan on completing a task in your To Do tray, or to mark when your appointments are. Your To Read container should be portable, like a basket. You should place this where you read. Your To File pile should be near your filing cabinet. • Organize visible places first instead of drawers and closets, as being able to see your accomplishments will keep you motivated. • Give to charity or throw away things that you do not use. • Organize clothes by category (i.e. dresses, pants, shirts, etc…) • If you can afford it, purchase bookshelves and categorize your books. • If you can afford it, purchase a shoe organizer and more shelving. • Categorize the things that you want to keep. • If the things are not to be displayed, put them together in piles. • If there is a big pile, store it in a clear or labeled plastic bin or organizer. • If an item does not fit into a category, put it in its own area on a shelf or in a basket near where you use it. • Instead of using bins on shelves where people will see them use decorative baskets like those available in discount department stores. • Purchase a cosmetic organizer for beauty products. • Put small bins in drawers to keep small items (underwear, socks, etc..) from mixing. • Use drawer dividers to break up drawers into compartments for more convenient storage. • Purchase a filing cabinet. 104 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place 105 by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology How to Organize Your Car: Since we spend so much time in our cars it makes sense to organize them so that our lives run more efficiently. Here are some great tips: • Must Have Items: Flashlight, flares, first aid kit, rope, jumper cables, water, a spare set of windshield wipers, ice-scraper, snow brush, de-icer spray, gloves, hat, and a blanket should all be kept in your car year-round incase of an emergency. Keep these items in a basket in your trunk. Also, be sure to always have your registration, insurance card, and emissions report in your glove compartment and your license in your wallet. • Quick Cleanup: Armorall sells wipes for cleaning the windshield or the car interior. You can also keep baby wipes in the car for spills and messes. You should also keep a bottle of hand sanitizer such as Purell in your glove compartment. Use this to clean your hands after an in-car meal. Because of its high alcohol content you can also use hand sanitizer to remove many stains from your upholstery. • Loose Change: If your car does not have a storage place for change you can store your change in old pill bottles. Keep these in your glove compartment so you can grab them in a jiffy to pay tolls. • Basket Helper: Keep a laundry basket in your trunk. You can load it up with your shopping bags. The basket will prevent the contents of your bags from slipping out and sliding around. The size of the laundry basket will allow you to take most of your groceries into the house at once, instead of having to come back to get more bags. Once the basket is in the house you can load it up with things that have to go into the car for your next trip outside. • Map Maintenance: Instead of storing maps in the glove compartment where they can be bent and torn, keep them in a large zip lock bag and store this in a door cubby. • Storage for Sale: If you need extra storage space for your CDS or sunglasses, you can buy a storage pouch which attaches to your visor. 106 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology How to Use a Filing Cabinet A filing cabinet can really simplify life. All your important paperwork is at your fingertips. However, studies show that people don’t ever use or reread 80% of what they file, so think carefully about whether you really will need an item in the future. If not, throw it away. • If you want to keep your schoolwork after it has been graded, keep a scrapbook. • Do not store magazines or catalogs in your filing folders. Throw out magazines and have a different location to keep your catalogs stored (such as a bin, magazine rack or reading basket). Discard catalogs at the end of the season. • If a folder in your filing cabinet gets too full, divide it among two folders. For example, you can divide a file of traveling brochures into two folders- United States and Foreign Countries. • Review the contents of your folders regularly to be sure important documents get attention and discard outdated or unnecessary information. • Here are some ideas for file folders: “receipts”, “statements”, “important documents” (you may want to keep your birth certificate, Social Security card, and passport in a fire-proof safe instead), “wish to purchase”, “work”, “school”, “hobbies”, “health”, “beauty”, “travel”, “car”. My filing cabinet started out this way but then the files got so big that I had to transfer the contents into labeled plastic bins. Or you might just want to throw away any paper you haven’t needed in a year or two, unless you will need it for longer (like tax documents or important documents). The brochure for that cruise can go because if you were really going to go you would have gone by now! 107 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Beautify Your Environment Not only should your living space be organized but it should be pleasant to look at. Decorating your living space to reflect your personal style is one of the greatest ways to express yourself. This feat can be easily accomplished on a budget. Many discount department stores stock home decorating merchandise that is surprisingly chic and elegant. Target for example features decorative lines created by renowned designers. Pier Imports is great for adding an exotic touch to your décor while on a budget. Another nice way to express yourself is to feature beautiful paintings. You can find artwork that suits your personality at Art.com. Here you can also find coordinating frames. As said earlier, any organizing containers on display should be appealing to the eye. Decorative baskets are a perfect option for your shelves. These can be found at Walmart in the storage container section. Fresh flowers and plants breathe life into your home and can enhance not only your environment but your well-being. For those who don’t have a lot of time to care for plants, choose African Violets because they are very easy to maintain. One thing to keep in mind when deciding on décor and furnishings is the functionality of the setup. Uncluttered spaces are a lot easier to clean, are generally more attractive to the eye, and therefore lend themselves to your emotional health. The old adage that a cluttered desk is a cluttered mind rings true for me. Workspace Well-being If you spend a lot of time in your workspace, this section is for you. Why not make your time at work a true treat that you look forward to? Here are some tips: • Serene Scene: Buy a poster of a tranquilizing scene, such as a beach or meadow and hang it on your cubicle wall. Or cut such a picture out of a magazine and laminate it. You can also buy a calendar of tropical islands or other breathtaking views. You can rip all the pictures out of the calendar and hang them on your cubicle. Divert your attention to these spectacular scenes when stress begins to rear its ugly head. • Friendly Fan: Buy a mini fan for your desk to circulate the air, which will help to keep you energized and feeling like you’ve conquered stagnation. • Cleansing Plant: Buy a leafy houseplant for your desk. Not only does it serve as a great reminder of Mother Nature but studies have shown that certain plants, like palms and ivy, can improve air quality. They improve air quality by decreasing pollutants and adding moisture. Select a plant at Ftd.com. • Add a Little Luxury: Park a massaging foot rest under your desk and take off your shoes for instant de-stressing. The Homedics Foot Pro Ultra Luxury Foot Massager from 108 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Kmart’s bluelight.com ($50) has a vibrating platform with two intensities, plus infrared heat for instant muscle relaxation. • Office Aromatherapy: Hey, why not? Office Scents, available at ultrascent.com are all natural plant essences that you place in a diffuser. Scents include Energy, Negotiation, Focus and Procrastination. The starter kit contains all four and a diffuser. • Micro Mini: Instead of waiting in line at the community microwave for half of your lunch break, make one smart investment and save a lot of time and pleasure. Sharp Half-Pint Micro Wave, available at shopping-today.com is a 14-inch cube, which fits a full-size dinner plate but is small enough to sit on your desk. It comes in seven cheery colors. A Neat, Organized Purse Personally I choose to eschew the small, dainty tote for the daily grind. It’s just not practical for me. I like a nice, big. roomy purse with a built in wallet so I’m guaranteed not to misplace it. I like a big purse- they are basically the same size as a bag, yet they can hold books and notepads, much like a brief case. I always have a pocket tape recorder with me to capture melodies or lyrics that come to me out of the blue. This is very conducive to my songwriting aspirations. I also like to carry the novel that I am currently reading, my daily planner, my Weight Watchers “points” calculator, a regular calculator, a pen, and a notepad to scrawl ideas on. Of course, I don’t have to carry all these things around, but they make my life a lot easier and therefore are worth the added bulk and weight. Besides these accessories, I also carry the standard makeup case, nail file, clear nail polish (for stopping nylon runs), travel toothbrush and toothpaste, mini mouthwash, floss, scissors, antiperspirant, travel powder and the best purse item ever- a spare set of keys. Another great item for your key chain- a mini flashlight! I always feel prepared for any situation with this bag and I leave the teeny impractical bags for special occasions. 109 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Car Safety and Maintenance: • Check Consumer Reports: Always check the safety and reliability ratings in Consumer Reports before selecting a new car. Among the least expensive, yet safest and most reliable cars are Toyota Carolla and Chevy Prism. • Get Regular Checkups: Get your oil changed every 3000 miles or so at a reputable place such as Jiffy Lube. This service costs under $30 and includes an under-the-hood check of all your systems. Be sure that they check your lights, connections and fluids. They may make a recommendation for other services you should consider. For example, you may need an air filter change, an engine flush, a transmission servicing or a brake light replaced. Do not let your oil fall short, this is the blood of your car and will cost you a premature debilitation of your vehicle if you don’t keep it up its maintenance. If you have over 70,000 miles on your car, you should use a specially formulated version of oil. Always make sure that your battery is fully charged. With regular checkups, you are ensuring that you will get the safest and longest possible use of your car. A good tip is to schedule your oil changes and emissions checks on your planner. • Car Pool or Use Public Transportation: Reduce wear and tear and conserve mileage on your car by commuting back and forth to work with others or via public transportation. You will also save money and time in the process, as commuting in this manner is cheaper than buying the gas that you would require if you drove by yourself and this option provides you with extra time as you do not have to attend to the driving unless it is your turn to drive for the car pool. If you are taking public transportation or if others are driving you can read a book or listen to self improvement tapes on your walkman. Added bonus: You are helping your community by decreasing traffic and environmental pollution. Check out your state’s transportation website to explore your options. • Join AAA: For about $50.00 a year, you can have a more mobile peace of mind. This membership entitles you to sanity-saving services in the event that one of those day-from-hell incidents should occur on the road. A representative from AAA would meet you to add gas to your care should you run out, will tow your car if it should stall or breakdown, and will unlock your door should you lock your key inside. There are countless other benefits to membership, such as map and direction services, and hotel and attraction discounts! If you are still in school, $50.00 could seem like a fortune. If you don’t have $50.00, don’t compromise your safety. Most students now have cell phones. Call your cell phone service provider and see if they offer the Roadside Assistance program. For about $2.99 per month you will get similar benefits as the AAA program without the upfront cost. • Get a Cell Phone: For about $40 a month, you can get a great cell phone package. What used to be a luxury for the rich is now almost an essential in road safety. Here’s the trick: Do not use your cell phone while driving down the road. If you must use your cell phone wear a headset. Use your cell phone if you 110 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology should have a roadside emergency and you need to call AAA or your cell service provider’s Roadside Assistance program. The best thing to do is to only use your cell phone for these dangerous incidents on the road, and for socializing and business when off the road. • Be on the Ball: When you get in your vehicle, always buckle up first. Place your hands at the clock positions of 10:00 and 2:00 on the wheel. Put on soothing music if you tend to get frazzled. Drive at least 4 car lengths behind the car in front of you. Approach red lights as you would train tracks, quickly glancing both ways for inattentive imbeciles. Always check your blind spot when changing lanes. You must physically turn your head around to check it, not just use your mirrors. • Don’t Drive Drunk: There truly is no excuse for drinking and driving. Ask yourself this: Could one night of fun really be worth the price of drunk driving causing you trouble? (I mean, one night of alcohol-soaked fun costs you enough…hangover, humiliation, calories, money, brain cells, doesn’t it?) Here is a list of the possible additional penalties due to taking the act on the road: You lose your license, you go to jail, you pay a fine, you have to attend a program, your name shows up in the police blotter of the local paper, you have to report the charge on every job application, your insurance rates go up, you might hit somebody and injure yourself or them, severely injure yourself or them or you might cause someone else’s death or your own. Is one night worth even a few months’ worth of misery, never mind a lifetime of guilt? To ensure that you don’t drink and drive, you need a plan of action that you can commit to while sober (when you are drunk, you do not think with the future in mind). Each time you decide to drink, utilize one or more of the following strategies: Have a get-together at home instead (create ambience, make hors devours and play great music); Always go with one or more people and take turns being the designated driver. Sleep over at a friend’s house. Go and come back in a cab. Go to an after hours club where you can stay until legally sober after the bar closes. Another tip: Drink less often so you will not mind taking the extra effort to plan a safe alcohol-outing. • Be Winter-Ready: If sleet and snow intimidate you, take a winter driving class. Prevent skidding on ice by being break-savvy: If you have ABS (antilock breaks), hit the break once, hard, keeping your foot on the petal. Conventional breaks should be gently pumped, until the car comes to a stop. • More Car Safety Tips: For road safety tips, check out the Automobile Association of America at AAA.com. Here you will find not only safety info, but travel tips, maps and discounts. Home Safety and Maintenance 111 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Smoke Detector: You should have one in as many rooms and halls as possible and of course, one in the kitchen. Check the batteries once a month to ensure that your smoke detectors will be on for service in the event of an emergency. • Fire Extinguisher: Every home should have one. They should be regarded as indispensable. Your fire department should charge yours for free. • Soap Chips: In the event of a stove fire, do not use water, but soap chips to put out the flame. Water may create a bigger fire. • Rope Ladders: Every second floor or higher room should have a rope ladder, so that you may escape in the event that your planned escape route is blocked by flame. • Space Heaters: Pick a heater with a guard around the heating unit, as well as a label asserting that the heater was approved by a national testing lab. Keep it at least 3 feet away from drapes and furniture and make sure you turn it off before you go to bed (double up on blankets instead). • Halogen Lamps: Halogen lamps have caused many house fires because they can tip over or be knocked down easily as they are tall and skinny. They are not recommended. • Candles: Do not burn them when it is possible that you may slip off into dreamland at any given moment. Do not leave the room when you burn candles. Buy only candles with lead-free wicks. • Nightlights: They prevent injury during nighttime jaunts to the kitchen or bathroom. The mini neon bulbs are a better choice than the four to seven watt varieties. • Stock Up: Sometimes storms or power outages take us by surprise. Have at least 3 days worth of your medications in your medicine cabinet as well as a first aid kit. Have a week’s worth of non-perishable food in your pantry. Keep plenty of bottled water on hand at all times. Also keep batteries, flashlights and a radio on hand. • Fireplace: Your fireplace must meet all (safety) codes. It should be inspected and cleaned by a chimney sweep once a year. Never use lighter fluid or any other flammable liquid to light the fire. • Paint and Fumes: Use paints and household solvents only in wellventilated areas, with the windows open. Be sure to keep aerosol cans away from the heat, they could explode. 112 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Carbon Monoxide Detector: There are no excuses. Every home needs this just as much as a smoke detector. Not having one could be just as deadly. • Front Walk: Keep rock salt handy. Be sure to stock up as it usually sells out right before a storm. Rock salt will make walk ways safer. • Snow Blower: Be sure not to aim snow blower discharge at people, pets, windows or automobiles. Do not leave it running and leave. Never clear the discharge shoot with your hand. • More Home Safety Tips: The U.S. Product Safety Commission gives home safety updates and tips as well as product recalls. Log onto Cpsc.gov for more information. 113 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part Two: Mind Chapter 9 How to Achieve All Your Goals and Dreams Good Goal Advice By your purchasing this book it is clear to me that you are not somebody who would just settle for anything. You realize that you only have one life and you want to live this one to its fullest. You want to new places, meet new people, have new experiences, etc.. You have talents you refuse to let lie dormant, you have goals you want to manifest. You are willing to do the work to make your dreams become reality, but you don’t know what to do exactly to get from start to finish. What steps do you have to take? How can you motivate yourself to take those steps? Here are some answers: • • • Get a Coach: Did you ever see that show Made on MTV where someone gets a personal coach to assist them in achieving their goal? Did you ever get jealous and wish you could do the same? Wannabemade.com is MTV’s new website which allows you a similar opportunity. Log onto the website and create a goal. You can then find a coach to assist you in turning your dream into reality. You could even be featured on the hit show if you do a good job! A life coach can also assist you in achieving your goals. Visit Lifecoach.com for more information. Essential Gear: Every organized, goal-oriented gal needs a calendar, a daily planner, and a calculator. Or you can get a PDA phone or Blackberry which can serve as all of these items rolled into one. You will also need a journal to keep track of your progress. You should also keep a list of coordinating daily or long term goals. For example, your long term goal list may contain the goal of “publishing a book”. Your list of daily goals then should contain something like, “spend a hour writing”. Your daily goals bridge the gap between the current you and the “you of the future”. Taking steps toward achieving goals everyday is what separates dreamers from achievers. Experts recommend spending no less than one hour a day working toward your goals. Google It: After making a list of your goals you will need to decide what you have to do exactly and make a plan. If you are not sure, “Google it”. The internet has infinite information to help you along. Also check the information desk at your 114 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place • • • • by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology library. Then make a step by step plan on what you need to do to accomplish your goal. Expert Advice: If you need to hire an expert check out Craigslist.org. Or check out the local experts in the yellow pages of your phone book. Here is a trick that is used by successful people: Find someone who has already achieved your goal and call or meet with them and ask them how they did it. People just love to talk about themselves so they may be very willing to help you. For example, let’s say you want to be a history professor. Schedule an appointment with a history professor at your college and grill him or her. If you want to become a counselor, find one in the yellow pages and leave them a voicemail message saying that you would love any advice they could give you. Perhaps you want the same job as a colleague at work. Then email him or her and ask how they got the job. It doesn’t hurt to ask. They will either reply or they won’t. If they don’t, try someone else. You can always offer to pick up the tab for lunch so they can regale you with their life story. Who could say no to that? Problem Parachute: If you ever have a problem you can’t brainstorm a way out of or a question you can’t find the answer to, ask your family and friends for advice. Create a group address list in your email account so you can send the question out to all of them at once. This is why it’s a great idea to network with people in the field that you want to excel in and add them to your group address list. You can meet people in your field at conventions. You can also find others with similar interests at clubs and groups at your school, online communities, or in professional organizations. You might want to have one group address list per goal. Become Computer Literate: This is a great time in history to be a goal seeker. There is technology to assist you in reaching your goals like never before. For example, back in the 1950s if you wanted to write a book you would use your type writer. If you made a mistake, too bad. You could not edit your work by moving paragraphs around and there certainly was no spellchecker. Nowadays, you can use Microsoft Word to edit your book which makes editing and spelling simple. Back in the 1970s if you wanted to open a store you’d have to rent a very expensive building. In this modern era you can open an “online store” for very little money. Instead of needing a warehouse to store items you are selling you can have them “drop shipped”! The moral of this story is that computers and the internet make almost every goal a thousand times more achievable than in the days of yore. You are ripping yourself off and limiting yourself if you don’t have good computer and internet skills. If you can’t figure out how to use the computer or the internet, ask a librarian for help. This is one of the reasons they are there. Or buy an instructional book such as Windows for Dummies. Or order an instructional software program for whichever computer skill you are trying to learn, such as Microsoft Word, Excel or Powerpoint. Visit Videoprofessor.com to check out the different titles available. Dummies Books: These are great for getting all the info you need to do something (like use a computer program, or play the guitar) in a nut shell. For example, there is a Guitar for Dummies, Life Coaching for Dummies, and a Windows for Dummies. These books are wonderful for those who can’t afford lessons or who refuse to read the user’s manual that comes with software programs. 115 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place • by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology But I Can’t Type: Buy a computer program called Typing Teacher or Typing with Mavis Beacon. I used Typing Teacher and learned how to type in 2 weeks during my college days. Typing is an invaluable skill that every successful person needs! Secrets of Success Here is some new and old goal-getting advice. We sift through it and advise of what works and what doesn’t. This way you can work smarter, not harder. As sang on the Rocky Horror Picture Show, “Don’t dream it. Be it!” Learn The Secret The Oprah show has started an obsession with The Secret, a DVD that will help you “attract” what you want. It explains the “law of attraction” which suggests that what you focus on becomes your reality. The movie is a great motivational tool you can use whenever you are feeling the, “Who cares, let me lay in bed all day” blues. But this movie has been criticized by many professionals because some say it makes it look like all you have to do is sit on your couch and think about what you want and you’ll get it. They say that the movie does not emphasize the importance of action. Having said this, I do believe that focusing on positive thoughts about your goals will motivate you to take the actions that you need to take because the goal will seem more familiar and less scary to you. For this reason, I feel the movie is useful for getting you motivated and excited to take action. The movie has also been criticized for making success seem materialistic, as one of the characters in the movie is using the secret to attain a diamond necklace. As we all know, success cannot be measured in monetary terms. Visit TheSecret.com for more information. Don’t Expect Perfection Expecting yourself to be a perfect Stepford wife will only sap your motivation. (Although, pretending you’re a Stepford wife is a great way to get the housework done, as robots are very efficient. He, he!) Strive for excellence instead of perfection. Just like with dieting, we all fall off the “motivational wagon” every now and again. And just like with dieting, you must realize self improvement is a lifestyle commitment and get right back on the wagon. So you can’t beat yourself up about it. You might start off the week like a house on fire, burning through your to do list and working out. By Thursday, you may have a set back that saps your motivation. It’s okay to take the time you need to heal. It’s okay to be human as long as you get right back to work as soon as is practically possible. Learn to Handle Rejection 116 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Here is the bad news- nobody becomes a success without rejection. Kernel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) fame shopped his secret “eleven herbs and spices” chicken recipe to more than 2000 restaurants before he found a buyer. What if he had given up on the 999th try? Every famous actress, musician, or business woman has faced their share of rejection. It is part of the journey, and the only way to get to the top of the mountain. The trick is to not let rejection sap your motivation and derail your plans. You have to work on developing a tough backbone. You have to learn to let rejection roll right off of you like water off a duck’s back. When you get rejected, try to learn from it. What did you do wrong that you can change next time? Or maybe you did nothing wrong but were just not what the rejecter was looking for. If you’ve applied or auditioned tons of times for what you want and still haven’t been accepted, remember that there are always other options. Let’s say that you’ve been trying to get a book published for years and years and feel like giving up. Well, remember that in this day and age of technology, there is almost always a way to make your dream come true with a “plan B”. For example, your best chance for making money is to get a deal with a major book publisher because they have an extensive marketing budget. That would be your “plan A”. But you’ve sent your pitch to every major publisher in the Writer’s Digest Guide to Publishers and nobody wants to give you a contract. Instead of throwing the manuscript in the garbage, it’s time to consider your “plan B”, “self publishing” or “publishing on demand”, which are services available to anyone for a fee. If you can’t get a recording contract with a major music label, try an independent label, or you can make your own CDs and sell them on your own website, or start your own record company. Or be a star on YouTube.com where anyone can upload their own videos. The band “OK Go” created a huge buzz for their album by uploading a creative music video with a treadmill dance routine that got millions of hits because friends kept forwarding it to friends! Be persistent and never give up! Devise creative solutions and alternatives if you can’t get where you want to go via the normal route! Superstars Work Hard One night I was feeling particular lazy and uninspired. I was flipping the channels on television just when a judge on the MTV show Making the Band 4 said to an aspiring performer, “Superstars work hard!” That phrase seemed to burn into my mind, gave me a reality check, and put wind in my sails again. I almost forgot that where I wanted to go was not a free ride. I would have to pay for the transportation to get there with hard work…physical hard work (ie. getting up in the morning for work, working out everyday), emotional hard work (i.e. writing a heartfelt letter to a friend or family member you’ve had a falling out with, being courageous enough to give a speech in front of your college classmates), mental hard work (i.e. writing, studying, reading), and spiritual hard work (being charitable, being in touch with the universe or studying the word of your higher power). Think of these as challenges, not obstacles, and imagine that you are a warrior battling them with all your might (hey, a little mythological imagery in your mind can help you keep the faith, he, he). Rachel Ray says that she loves to feel like she worked hard all day, as she lies in bed at night. Learn to stop being afraid of hard work. Embrace it as your ally, not your 117 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology enemy punishing you with discomfort, boredom, etc.. When you do feel discomfort or boredom find your “internal happy place” as the cliché says. You might want to entertain a vivid daydream when this happens, such as recalling moments of bliss on your favorite vacation, or imagining all the great things you will do once the activity ends. Another great technique is to reward yourself after the task. Always remind yourself of the benefits of doing what you are doing. Sign the Contract Hold yourself liable for accomplishing your goal in a timely manner. Stand up and be “accountable” for your goal. Want to put some intimidating task on your “To Do” list behind you? Instead of losing hope of it ever getting done, why not give yourself no choice but to get it done...tonight. How you say? Easy. Tell everyone you know, family, friends, or co-workers that you are absolutely determined to conquer the task tonight. That you are going to have a “marathon session” and you will report to them tomorrow with your results. This person will take the place of your teacher, who will wait for you in the morning to see if you produce a paper or a “my dog ate it” excuse. Also advise your friend with the raised eyebrow of the following: “Under no circumstances will I accept defeat.” Now, do you want to face them tomorrow and have them think that you are all talk, or that you are an amazing achiever with great follow-through? Imagine the interaction between the two of you vividly as you explain your defeat. Of course this passage is written in the tongue-in-cheek style. But seriously folks, the difference between successful people and success-wishers is followthrough, and this little trick may help you achieve that, in the same way that your teacher waiting for you in the morning helped you complete a book report (for a book you didn’t read- just kidding). Meet the Motivational Master For anyone who is absolutely stalwart in their decision to not settle for less than the absolute best life possible, for anyone who is determined to live up to their full potential as a human being, and for anyone who feels a vigorous desire to accomplish all their goals, it is time to meet the motivational master, Anthony Robbins. His program Get the Edge is absolutely indispensable in my opinion. The man truly excels in bringing out the best in people. This program had a huge impact on my own life, as it basically put me in a frame of mind where I can’t be stopped, I can’t turn back to laziness and autopilot living. This program will give you the “mental tools” to take your goals, relationships, finances, emotions, and fitness to the next level. Visit GetTheEdge.com. Oh, and if you fall off the “motivational wagon”, he will help you get right back on! Feel free to listen to this program as often as you need to throughout the course of your life! 118 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology The Three-Step System to Making Any Dream Come True If you have adopted a cynical mindset, and simply cannot believe that you have the power to see your dreams to fruition, take heart. Anything is possible if you believe. This sounds like the biggest cliché of all time but it is true. If you believe that you can achieve something, your subconscious mind will lead you toward your goal. But how do you truly begin to believe that a wish will transform into reality? The first step is to show your mind that you have had past successes. Make a list of all the accomplishments that you have already made in your life. They don’t have to be monumental. Learning to type, learning to drive, receiving a promotion, earning a degree, finishing a novel, etc. These can all be added to your list. Then review your list often. This will boost your faith in your abilities. You must believe that this can be accomplished, that this goal is humanly possible. Look how many people have done amazing things…climbed mountains, made movies, written books, invented cures to diseases, created technological innovations, etc…If they can do it, so can you. Decide to be a shining example of what people can do in their lives if they believe and have faith. Envision your goal as if you have already achieved it in your mind. If it’s a book you want to write, what does it feel like to hold it in your hand? If it’s an album, how do you feel when you play it for your friends? Then imagine how your life would change once you accomplish the goal. This will trick your subconscious into believing that this achievement is possible and will keep you motivated as it conditions your mind to take the steps needed toward accomplishment. Another good way to keep yourself motivated toward achieving your goal is to ask yourself why you want to achieve the goal. What benefits will the achievement of the goal bring? Make a list of all the goals you wish to accomplish in your life. Then list them in order of priority, in other words, which ones would be best to accomplish while you are younger versus which ones can wait until you are older? Which ones are more important than the others? Then list the top three goals you want to accomplish in the next year and write down all the reasons you want to achieve each one. Review this list everyday to keep you motivated. The next step is to research how you will achieve these goals. Besides believing, you must be willing to do two other things: You must research how to accomplish this goal and then must take action toward achieving the goal everyday that you possibly can. It may take a long time to find the answers on how to turn your goal into reality, but if you never give up searching, the answers will come to you. We live in a great time (at least when it comes to accomplishing goals), when the internet allows us to find information at lightning speed. In the old days, to achieve the same objective would have required many trips to many different libraries or bookstores to find the information on “how” to accomplish your goal. So take advantage of the era in which you live and its technology. When in doubt, “Google it!” An even more efficient way to find the “how answers” is to find someone who has already accomplished the goal. Pick their brain, ask for advice, even pay them to coach you, or offer them something in exchange for their invaluable information. Once you find the answers on how to achieve the goal, you will have in your hands the blueprint of how to turn your dreams into tangible truth. Structure this information into an organized strategy. Break down an elaborate strategy into bite sized chunks that you can work on everyday. You must then be willing to work on your dream 119 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology with a ferocious intensity until it is realized. This three-step system works for achieving any goal no matter how ambitious. Remember: 1. Believe, 2. Research, 3. Action = Achieve. If you forget the three steps, just think of the silly acronym BRA (insert Beavis and Butthead style laughter here). When you develop exciting plans for the future, you start your motivation engine. It increases even more when you start acting on your plans in order to turn them into reality. When you notice yourself accomplishing even small goals you are building momentum. This is also known as the domino effect. You will want to apply this enthusiasm and effort into all areas of your life. Maybe you will get so excited by your planned future that you will put yourself in overdrive and rush to get things accomplished just so you can see the changes. But this is not necessary. All you need to do is take one or more steps, little or big each day toward accomplishing your goals, even when you are feeling down, discouraged and cynical. This is actually the best time to be productive because your accomplishment can repair your mood. It is best to work on your goals one at a time, or two at a time at the most so you don’t have a scattered focus. Take action everyday and before you know it you will start experiencing the excitement of the domino effect and your own taste of victory! 120 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Keep a Journal and Improve Your Life Radically: Keeping a journal can literally change your life. Here’s how: • Journaling to Solve Problems: Journaling can improve your life dramatically. For one, you are putting down on paper all those thoughts that swirl around in your head and are therefore able to sort and make sense of them. You will achieve mental clarity as you turn these thoughts that pestered you before into organized lists and identify problems that need to be addressed. You might want to make and label the following columns, which represent the major areas of your life: Relationships, Finances, Education, Work, Goals, Appearance, Health, Spirituality, Emotional Wellbeing, and Fun. Then within each major column make two sub columns. Label the first sub column: “Going Great”. Write down everything that is going well for you in the given category. Label the second sub column “Needs Improvement”. In this sub column write down everything that is bugging you, that can stand an improvement. Then brainstorm and think of some action steps you can take to improve all of those items in the “Needs Improvement” categories. If you take just one action step a day you will be 365 action steps toward a better life in one year. It adds up quickly. Tackling problems and working on goals daily builds a momentum that keeps you wanting to do more and more and more. This momentum will transcend into all areas of your life. You will want to work out more, eat better, work harder, be nicer, etc… Write your action steps down in your journal to reflect on the momentum you’ve built. Charting your progress will keep this positive chain of events going everyday for the rest of your life. • Journaling to Become the Ultimate You: When you keep a journal you are also expressing your true self…your likes and dislikes, feelings and attitudes. You are more in touch with who you really are, rather than who the television and media think that you should be. Read your journal regularly so that you may reflect on your progress as a person, re-emphasize important concepts in your memory, and rediscover old ideas that may prove to be gold mines. Don’t let any ideas escape! Write about positive and negative ideas in your journal. Keeping a journal may prove to be therapeutic. It is a daily exercise where you sort out your feelings and problem solve. By writing this information down and reviewing it on a regular basis, you are basically “building up the muscles of your personality”. In turn you become happier, more organized and even more sociable. By writing down and reviewing your ideas and feelings you are making them more accessible to your memory and emphasizing them in your mind. When you do this, you will find that you have more to talk about, and are therefore a more interesting conversationalist. So it makes sense to write down things you want to remember in your journal. For example, maybe you learned a witty saying from a book or movie and want to incorporate it into your repertoire. Maybe you learned a new vocabulary word that you want to put in your regular rotation. Maybe something hysterical happened to you that you could use as an anecdote at the dinner table. Maybe you thought of a great idea for a business. Capture these elusive butterflies and then revisit them often, as you’ve immortalized them with the written word. 121 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Journaling For Maximum Power: To get the most out of journal writing you should write in the morning. This is the time that you are most in touch with your subconscious. This will also allow you to record those mysteriously haunting dreams, which can be great sources of inspiration, insight or art. You should write at least one page worth, writing non-stop. The more you write, the more ideas will come to you. If you can’t think of anything to say, write, “I can’t think of anything to say”. Write trivial things if need be, like, “I wish I didn’t have to load the dishwasher this afternoon”. Just keep that inner monologue going. This is also known as the “stream of consciousness” technique. It is the most effective way of tapping into your true voice. And yes, you should physically write, not type on your computer. The act of writing enhances the process. Note your progress in your journal. If you notice changes in your social life, mind power, or in your creativity that you think are due to using your journal or otherwise, write the changes down. This will keep you motivated and on track. • Journaling On Vacation: Be sure to take your journal on vacation. Usually the greatest inspiration and most interesting things to write about come to you when you change your environment and therefore shift your perspective. The area you visit may enchant you so much that you are bursting with creative energy. Don’t just trust your memory to capture these sensations. Immortalize them on the pages of your journal. Then you can make that feeling of being on vacation live on once you’ve returned home, just by reviewing your journal, and can use that inspiration to fuel your creativity. 122 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology A Few Words on Time Management: In the classic “sign of the times” sixties sub-culture flick Easy Rider, Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper, in a moment of cultural rebellion against conformity, throw their watches on the ground in disgust. In the classic rock song Time by the band Chicago, the chorus asks the question, “Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care about time?” Such statements motivate one to wonder, “What would life be like without time?” What if life kept progressing, day still turned into night, we still got older, but we no longer had to worry about rushing to work, meeting assignment deadlines, or cramming for exams? What if you could do all of these things when you were good and ready? Ahh, what stress relief! You could actually have time to stop and smell the roses as they say! Unfortunately, by the time we reach retirement age and are no longer bound by the constraint of time, many of us lose our youthful zeal, have given up on our dreams, and are otherwise unappreciative of this newfound luxury. So instead of being able to gleefully throw our watches to the dirt before speeding off into the sunset on our motorcycles, like the characters in Easy Rider, it would behoove us all to learn some time management strategies, especially since tests, homework and being on time for work are inescapable at this phase in our lives. Here are some strategies I have found useful: You thought I was going to say get up at the crack of dawn? No, let’s work within reality here. Instead, honestly calculate how much time you need to get up, get ready and get to school or work, and then add a twenty minute “unexpected annoyance” window, for traffic, last minute studying, or for a leisurely drive to Dunkin Donuts when the mood should strike. Set your alarm for this time and put your alarm clock on the other side of your room so you can’t be tempted by the lure of the snooze button. Just remember, those few extra moments of comfort in bed past your wakeup time can cost extra moments of discomfort and anxiety later. Next, designate a block of time everyday when you will work on your assignments or goals, and then enjoy the rest of the night with free time. Rather than cramming for tests or doing papers in twelve-hour marathon sessions, be kind to yourself and break up large tasks into manageable steps, and work on a few steps everyday during your “assigned blocks” of time. The same system works for achieving seemingly insurmountable goals, like writing a novel or recording a demo. Besides eliminating horribly boring, stressful days when you are stuck cramming for exams or praying for your paper to be done before the library closes, you will also eliminate the dread of that day when you will finally have to submit to these door-die long sessions. You will always feel in control. Finally always prioritize your time to work on things that really matter in the long run. If you are spending time at a job that is unrelated to your field of study you might want to consider transferring to one that does relate to it so you can make money and build your “career resume” and experience at the same time. Unfortunately, the first thing many proud college grads realize when they get that B.A. in their hands is that the job ads are also requesting experience. Remember every little thing you do now can add up to a great future, and maybe if you start to manage your time carefully now you will enjoy a fugure that leaves you plenty of time for stress-free fun. 123 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Daily Planner Whether you prefer one of those new-fangled techno gizmos known as a PDA (personal digital assistant) device, or an old-fashioned “let me check my schedule” book, a daily planner is an indispensable tool for success. A daily planner gives you the privilege of being able to “design your days”. No longer will you live life in a haphazard fashion, but you will be able to designate chunks of time for practicing your cello or for going to the gym. Of course, every single hour of your day should not be planned out- you need to leave room for whimsy and spontaneity- daydreaming and indulging your wanderlust. But by putting pen to paper or stylus to screen, you are more likely to commit yourself to working toward your goals. You might want to make an electronic list, or tape an index card to the inside of your book of what your goals are that you are working toward daily. This will give you the incentive and direction that you need to stick to your schedule. If you want to go electronic, you can purchase a PDA style phone such as a Palm Treo, Motorolla Q, or a Blackberry. Design Your Days Buy a daily planner with blocks big enough for you to fit all your daily activities in. Then schedule everything! Doctors appointments, music classes, gym time, dinner dates with friends, phone calls, emailing, etc… Studies show that you are twice as likely to stick with something if it is penciled in to your personal calendar! If you stick to all your appointments for the month, reward yourself with a gold star in your calendar and maybe schedule in a trip to an amusement park or spa. 124 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part Two: Mind Chapter 10 How to Be Smarter and Think More Efficiently Supercharge Your Brain Sometimes ideas do not come so easily. Unfortunately, many people believe that they need drugs and alcohol to fuel their creativity. Actually this strategy backfires in the long run, as the conservation of brain cells can only benefit your creativity. So if you need a little pep and stimulation, try the following instead: Supercharged Mind Punch: Some ingredients must be purchased at a health food store. 1 Tbsp lecithin granules 1 crushed tryptophan and tyrosine supplement capsule 8 oz orange juice 1 Tbsp maple syrup or honey Process all ingredients in a blender for about two minutes. Drink the punch slowly. You can whip this up before a creative session for a healthy boost. Supplement Your Mind If you want to think more efficiently and be more mentally competent, besides studying you need to eat right, exercise, and get a good night’s sleep. In addition, you may want to supplement your diet with the following nutrients, proven in study after study to support brain function: • B-Complex Vitamins: A B-Complex vitamin can help your mind in so many ways: Riboflavin (B2) is a renowned energy B vitamin. It helps to alleviate stress, fatigue, and can even help you improve your mood; Niacin (B3) supports your sugar metabolism; Thiamin (B1) is another energy B vitamin that helps support nerve 125 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology function and can give you a positive outlook; Cobalamin (B12) helps boosts energy and feelings of well-being; Pyridoxine (B6) helps convert food into energy and also helps to improve your mood; Pantothenic acid along with vitamin C helps boost energy and aids in the alleviation of stress. Recommended dose: A B complex vitamin with or without added vitamin C. • Vitamin C: This vitamin is a major antioxidant, boosts your immune system and is very helpful in your brain’s biochemistry. It detoxifies your body, reduces anxiety, facilitates sleep and promotes mental alertness. Vitamin C is also purported to boost IQ by about 5 points or so. It even boosts your supplies of vitamin E! My goodness, what can’t it do? Recommended dose is 1000 mg in 500 mg doses. • Vitamin E: This antioxidant actually guards your brain tissue from free radicals. Vitamin E protects your brainpower from damage by free radicals and aging. Recommended dose is 800 IU not to exceed 1600 IU. • Ginko Biloba: Ginko biloba is found in the world’s oldest trees. It has been used for centuries by the Chinese to help with mental alertness. It also facilitates the flow of oxygen to the brain, can relieve depression, and can even assist in the prevention of memory loss. Its efficacy has been documented in countless clinical studies. Be sure to purchase the best quality ginko biloba, which comes in a liquid extract form and contains at least 24% of the active ingredient. Recommended dose is from 120 to160 mg a day. For best results you may divide this dose into 3 doses, as the herb stays active in your body for only about 3 to 6 hours at a time. Some benefits are evident after 3 weeks, and major benefits are noticeable after 3 to 6 months. • Ginseng: Ginseng, like ginko biloba, has been used for ages by the Chinese to assist with myriad functions. Modern clinical studies show that it does enhance memory and other mental tasks, and boosts energy. This energy is claimed to be of both the mental and physical varieties. Liquid extract is the highest quality of ginseng varieties. Recommended dose: 500 to 3000 mg per day. Benefits should be evident after 1 month. • Lecithin/Choline- Acetylcholine is a neurotransmitter that scientists believe is necessary for memory. To ensure that your brain has enough acetylcholine, you will want to include choline in your diet. Choline is found in lecithin, which is made from soybeans or sunflower seeds. You can purchase lecithin in granular form from health food stores. This can be sprinkled in a wide variety of foods like salads and cereals. You may also want to add it to smoothies or bake it into muffin. Recommended dose: Lecithin in granular form can be taken as one to two tablespoons a day. 126 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Other Ways to Supercharge Your Brain • Think Better By Choice: Affirm that you are going to think better from now on. By simply making that decision, you really can think more intricately, thoughtfully, attentively, and quickly. Thinking better is a skill that you can learn and practice. The key to thinking in all of those ways is to pay very good attention. Follow others’ statements with utter loyalty and thoughtfulness, so that you can better understand and respond. Be observant in your environment and take mental notes. The more conscious you are of what you are doing, the better you will do it. • Think Faster with the Power Program: To get more oxygen and nutrients to your brain you should eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly and ensure you are getting adequate nutrition by taking a multivitamin. You should also drink 8 to 10 glasses of water a day to ward off sluggishness. Sure you have heard this all before and you know that this “power program” will help you to look better by improving your shape, hair, skin and nails. You know that this program will give your body more energy, strength and stamina so that you can get more done in the day. But did you ever consider the benefits to your mind and social life? If you are more energized and healthy, your brain works better and faster. You therefore think faster and get an edge at work or school. And this speed of mind can help you cultivate a sharp, quick wit, a boon to your social life! • Increase Your Attention Span: Defy generation X, Y, and Z stereotypes and reclaim what excessive television viewing has stolen from us…our ability to stick it out until the end. Let’s become the “stand-up guys and girls” we were meant to be and relearn how to pay attention. Here is a scientifically-proven way of lengthening your attention span: Read a book for 10 minutes, then watch television for 10 minutes, then read with the television playing in the background for 10 minutes. Keep alternating every 10 minutes for an hour. Do this exercise as often as possible and soon you’ll be ready to read War and Peace in one sitting! Well, at least one chapter. • Read it and Write It: Read carefully and be sure to check your level of comprehension before you move onto the next paragraph or chapter. Read voraciously on a wide variety of subjects. Then when you have a bunch of ideas floating around in your head, reinforce them and make your own “brand of sense” of them by keeping a journal. A journal allows you to “build up the muscles” of your “thinking cap” and personality, if you will. • Read, Review, Read Review: What’s the point of reading it if you forget everything you read the next day? Let’s face it- our minds really are like colanders if we don’t review, review, and review some more. So when you finish a page, pause and review what just occurred in the story. As you read, circle vocabulary words you 127 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology don’t understand and look them up later. If you are trying to become familiar with complex non-fiction material, it is worth your time to take a magic marker and a stack of index cards and to write down those names that just won’t stick and quiz yourself with these flash cards. Another tip: Review in your mind or practice with your flash cards right before you go to sleep. Your subconscious will assist you with filing the info in your mental card catalog. Depending on what you’re studying, be prepared to have some weird dreams. Perhaps Queen Elizabeth and Mary Queen of Scotts will show up to have tea together. • Rip it Out: When you see a great tip in a magazine, rip it out. If you plan to implement it immediately, hang it on your bulletin board. Other wise file it in the appropriate bin or file folder. • Mind Expansion: Certain activities are scientifically proven to improve your ability to store and retrieve information. It is now believed that your brain can actually become more efficient in response to constant mental stimulation. Among the greatest pastimes for mind expansion: doing crossword puzzles, taking up a musical instrument, studying a foreign language, doing math problems, studying vocabulary, using flash cards, playing intellectual games like Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit, and reading the news paper. • Unfamiliar Territory: We all have intellectual activities that we are good at or enjoy immensely, such as reading or playing along with Jeopardy. This is wonderful, but now it’s time to venture out of your comfort zone by tackling a new-to-you intellectual challenge. Your reward? If you practice your new activity every day, your brain will form new neurons (nerve cells which send and receive messages) in just two weeks time! This means that your mind will work faster and more efficiently, which means you will be more productive and a more eloquent speaker to boot! Not a bad deal, eh? Need some suggestions? Try some algebra problems, assemble a jigsaw puzzle, learn to draw, or watch an educational show that you’d normally flip right by. • Memory Flattery: “My memory is amazing in its powers of recall.” “My memory never leaves me hanging when I need a word during conversation.” No you don’t say these “memory power affirmations” out loud in a crowded room. But do say them out loud when you are alone. I know this suggestion, at first encounter, might seem like psychobabble fluff. But affirmations are a clinically proven method of making changes on a subconscious level. If you say something out loud, even if you don’t believe it at first, your subconscious mind pays attention. Your subconscious mind doesn’t know or care if you really believe in your statement or not. Its job is to help reality get into synchronicity with the supposed “facts” that come out of your lips. The key to successful affirmations is that they must be said out loud and they must be specific. Don’t say, “My memory is great.” This statement is general and vague. Say, “My memory allows me to develop a broad vocabulary.” Studies have shown that confidence in your memory is critical to it’ efficiency. Affirmations will help you to gain confidence in your memory (incidentally, affirmations can help you make changes in any other aspect of your life). So when it comes to improving your memory, just remember that flattery will get you everywhere. 128 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Multitasking Marathons: Donalee Markus, Ph.D., whose company Designs for Strong Minds helps NASA employees empower their thinking skills, recommends multitasking for those desiring a better-working brain. The ability to engage in different activities at the same time wanes as we get older. By multitasking regularly, you will keep your brain from aging so quickly. But there are a few things to keep in mind when choosing activities. Multitasking should only be done if the activities do not require extreme concentration (don’t multitask while writing reports, or you will only create more stress) and only if the activities are safe (don’t multitask while balancing on a beam, he he). Some ideas: Cook a recipe while listening to a book on tape, read while listening to Mozart, or watch television while cleaning your room. In summary, it is best to multitask when the tasks at hand are not critical for success (i.e. don’t multitask on work or school projects). • Oxygenize Your Brain Cells: Regular exercise has been attributed to enhanced brain function, faster recall speed, and an improved memory. All types of exercise will help you, but the very best type is aerobic- that which gets oxygen into your blood stream and your blood flowing into your brain. If you really want to get the full benefit of aerobic exercise work out a little more each day until you can walk, run, cycle or do an aerobic workout tape for 60 full minutes. Your mind and body will be so energized that you will notice a major change in your daily performance, physically and mentally. Another thing to keep in mind: You will be naturally high and energized on endorphins for approximately two hours after your aerobic workout. Take full advantage of this added vitality by scheduling morning workouts, so you will head into school or work raring to go! • Sleep Well: Sleep-deprived people are obviously not going to perform as well on a test or task as their well-rested peers. So don’t shortchange yourself. Get at least 8 hours of sleep a night and remember, a full night’s rest is more than just beauty sleep. It recharges your body, revitalizes your mind and restores your spirit! • The Mind Pill: You’ve heard that “the pill” may help clear up your skin by regulating your hormones. Well, it seems that this same balancing act may help you to stay mentally sharp. Low-dose contraceptives (which usually contain a combination of estrogen and progesterone) may enhance memory ability. • Memory Competition: Mental exercises force you to think in innovative ways. If you do mental exercises daily, you are better able to tackle everyday problems and challenges. To gear your brain up for ultimate efficiency on a daily basis, try the following: Break out the stopwatch and challenge a friend to see who can name the most things in a given category. See who can name the most classic books, European countries, board games, or Disney characters in 60 seconds. • Read Upside Down: Go ahead and turn your book upside down. Read one paragraph and then move onto more. Time how long it takes you. This stimulates your brain by forcing it to think in another direction…literally upside down. This exercise might look a little wacky on the city bus so you might want to do this in private! 129 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Wear Your Watch on the Other Wrist: Even a tiny little change in your normal routine will cause your mind to have to work in new and different ways, causing more intellectual stimulation. • Type Type Type: With each key you hit, you are exercising your brain. Mind-hand exercises like typing are fabulous, mentally energizing workouts. This skill will come in handy with other pursuits, such as playing the piano and hitting a ball. • Try to Memorize Everything You Hear: Top contenders on Jeopardy have reaped the benefits of this mental lifestyle. Whenever you learn a new fact, review it a few times in your head. Let the card catalogue in your brain grow and be sure to fill your mental library with quality information. If you have to listen to information anyway, you might as well let these sessions benefit you. Just by being alive you are getting many free lessons everyday, if you really make use of your memory. In this society we are constantly barraged by a fleet of information, so we might as well make it work for us. If you adapt this habit, maybe you’ll become the next Jeopardy millionaire, or at least the undefeated family Trivial Pursuit champion. Invite Mozart over to Study: Scientific clinical study after study show that Mozart is a good guy to have around when you are trying to absorb new material. Also, the intricacy of the musical arrangements can stimulate your creativity. So let Mozart move you. • • Play Mind Games: Did you ever feel like you couldn’t possibly fit more information into your brain? Guess what? You can actually make more room by expanding the size of your hippocampus! Video games where you must manipulate objects in space can help you improve your power to recall information. My all time favorite is Tetris. Log onto Tetris.com. A similar game is Car Jam at SmartGames.com. • Piece the Puzzle Together: Crossword puzzles are a great way to become familiar with new terminology as they jog your memory. Log onto SmartGames.com or the “classic games” link at SmartGames.com. • Play Ping Pong: Got some extra cash? Buy a Ping Pong table. This is a wonderful and fun way to improve your hand-eye coordination. No one to play with? Get a paddleball set. • Some Assembly Required: Amaze yourself by finding your inner-handywoman. Instead of passing unassembled parts and tools to your brother or father, build the item yourself. Study the instruction sheet step by step. Use the process of elimination to identify and categorize parts and pieces that came in the box. The benefits of DIY? A boost in your confidence, a mental exercise session, and a finished product. Added bonus: You won’t have to nag or bribe anybody! • Build Your Brain Online: Go to RelaxIntuit.com and click on Tips and Strategies. You will find plenty of mental stimulation solutions. • Fun and Games: Play along with game shows, do crossword puzzles, or play hangman. There are many board games that utilize your creativity, such as Cranium. 130 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part Two: Mind Chapter 11 How to Get an Ivy League Level Self- Education Learn the History of the World Before you embark on a literary odyssey or knowledge gathering expedition it is useful to have a frame of reference in which to put your information. The following is a very abridged, simplified timeline of history, art, and popular culture in which to insert your new knowledge. It is a coat rack for your new “coats of knowledge”, if you will. I’ve tried to make it as fun, interesting and to the point as possible. This is a great “intellectual shortcut”. • Before 10,000 BC: Every “It” cave girl had a bison carving on her cave wall and tools and/or weapons to adorn her boulder vanity. • 10,000 to 1000 BC: All the cool people become agriculturalists. At the end of this time period Egyptian civilization flourishes. This was a time of pharaohs and slavery. Pyramids, sphinxes and hieroglyphic writings were all the rage. • 1001 BC to 1AD: Any one who’s anyone is hanging out with the old-school beatniks…Socrates and his philosopher boys. Scholarly thought leads to new ideas in mathematics, astronomy, politics, and philosophy. This was a period of brilliant architecture: Doric, Ionic and Corinthian capitals top fluted columns, murals are adorned with gods and goddesses like Aphrodite, Zeus, and Athena, and a young cocksure guy named Alexander the Great slices the Gordion knot and takes over the world. • 2 AD to 500 AD: Elite Romans engage in unbridled revelry nearly every night, while the common folk are kept pacified with “bread and circuses.” Architecture is lavish with a focus on luxury, the perfect places to hold bacchanalian gettogethers. Many of these houses of debauchery go up in smoke when Rome falls and burns. • 501 AD to 1000 AD: These were the dark ages. There is much debate as to why these days were so dark. Is it because so little history, literature, and art survived the period and therefore we are unenlightened as to the culture of the time, or because barbarians roamed the lands committing massive atrocities? Probably both reasons. 131 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • 1001 AD to 1450 AD: These times were medieval…very medieval. (The word really just means “middle ages” but that’s not as descriptive!) Religious strife and plagues dominated the landscape. Parents sent their children out to fight a war (the Children’s Crusade) and most of them were killed. Unbelievably, a third of Europe died from the bubonic plague! In art it was a time of all things gothic, definitely a reflection of the bleak, yet “romantique noir” mood. Lots of angles and gargoyles. • 1450 AD to 1650 AD: Hurray for the Renaissance! Finally some relief from the gloom! Martin Luther gives people more religious choice, Shakespeare defines himself as the quintessential wordsmith, and all things old (Greek culture) are new again, as a reverence for the past takes shape. This was the time of De Vinci and Michaelangelo. Mona Lisa and David. • 1650 AD to 1700 AD: Ladies and gentleman, you were having too much fun during that-there Renaissance. Let’s retreat to the gloom and doom mystique again for another 50 years, shall we? In 1666 we can watch London Bridge burn down, along with many of those afflicted with the plague, which has just returned with a vengeance. We then can accuse people we don’t like of witchcraft, as being fearful, judgmental and superstitious must surely mean that we are also pious (the Salem Witch trials took place in 1692- check out the play, The Crucible by Arthur Miller, to see how young, selfish girls used to entertain themselves back in the day). Our art during this time will be very austere and gloomy to reflect all that we hold dear. • 1700 AD to 1800 AD: Oooh, it’s the enlightenment! Suddenly everybody is rational and open-minded! Those witch hunters were fools, don’t you think? Let’s rebel against our parents’ and grandparents’ narrow-mindedness, hypocrisy, and austerity with ornate art and baroque music. Rock me Amadeus! (Again, I couldn’t help myself!) • 1800 AD to 1850 AD: Aaahh! The age of the Romantic! Let’s express our feelings and put on our rose colored glasses, shall we? Oh, wow, the glass really is half full! Life is good! Let’s all gather ‘round, analyze some romantic poetry, and sing love ballads...I gave my love a chicken… • 1850 AD to 1900 AD: It’s the Victorian age: The women are stuffed into corsets and the men are segregated in the smoking room. It is vulgar for a lady to eat meat in front of a man, for it may be inferred that she has a ravenous, carnivorous appetite elsewhere! Corsets to flatten your pregnant stomach (I kid you not, go look at some of the old newspapers on microfilm at your library) are advertised on the front page of the paper, while unmarried pregnant girls are hidden in the attic. The Industrial Revolution is cramming workers as young as eight years old into factories with ghastly working conditions for up to fourteen hours a day. There is a wide schism between the wealthy and poor sectors of society. The Comstock Law is censoring your mail. At the wealthy dinner table it was not uncommon to have more utensils then you have fingers. The elaborate code of manners focuses on propriety, decorum, and virtue. But somehow, bawdy novels about promiscuous young maids are circulated, pornographic pictures are taken with the new cameras and Oscar Wilde is out 132 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology and about chanting “Art for art’s sake” until he is jailed for engaging in homosexual activity. Impressionist painters like Degas, Manet and Renoir defy the prim and proper moral code of this era by painting outdoor bathers and French girls in lingerie. • 1900 AD to 1918 AD: The Edwardian era starts off on a high note. The turn of the century brings about an optimism and faith in human progress. Technology is bringing about amazing innovations. Art is courageous and bold. Picasso and Mattise are experimenting with watercolor and cubism. But then in 1912 the “unsinkable” Titanic sinks and our faith in technology and human progress is shaken to the core. And then, like hell opening up before us, the Great War, or “War to End all Wars”, as it was known back then, comes along, and all is “quiet on the western front”, as far as art is concerned, as there are more urgent matters. Suddenly, the outlook is bleak. • 1919 AD to 1928: The post World War I era gives rise to a band of disillusioned and depressed young, American expatriate artists living in France. They are called the Lost Generation, a term coined by Gertrude Stein, to express the utter disenchantment felt by the young after witnessing the horrors of war. Hemmingway, Fitzgerald, and crew produce some of the greatest literature of all time. Over in Germany, the Dada art movement takes shape. It is an artistic mutiny aimed to demonstrate the meaningless of art and therefore life. It gets its name from baby talk and irreverently pokes fun at traditional art by transforming it into nonsensical creations and turning it upside down (often literally). Soon, however, this disenchanted melancholy fades, with the help of a booming economy in the states, but the rebellious spirit remains. Intellectual rebellion is abandoned and escapism becomes the new drug of choice. Jazz booms, gin flows, and chain-smoking flappers doing the Charleston exemplify the new need to live for the nightlife. • 1929 AD to 1949 AD: And then the stock market crashes! Just like that the party is busted! Stock brokers jump out of windows and families dine on bread and gravy. And then, just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, Hitler invades Poland and Japan bombs Pearl Harbor. During this unsettling era of prohibition and poverty, dustbowls and death, the most significant art form in American life was cinema. Stars like Bette Davis, Joan Crawford and Clark Gable are larger than life and make people forget their cares, if only for an hour and a half. Well worth the coin-price! • 1950 AD to 1962 AD: The advent of television and rock and roll brings about a great shift of the artistic pendulum. Teenagers are now the appointed arbiters of art and pop culture. Everything becomes a little racier, a little more B-grade, a little more Elvis than Frank Sinatra. More baseball cap than top hat, more soda pop than fine wine (okay, I was having fun with those analogies). Jack Kerouac, William Burroughs, Allen Ginsburg and the beats are writing books about their counter culture adventures “on the road” and their benzedrine-induced conversations on metaphysics and Zen. James Dean is “chicken-racing” and “making-out” with Natalie Wood on the big screen. Yes, things have certainly changed since Junior became the one who gets to decide what is right and true in 133 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology the world. Just relax, go with it Daddio, and by all means, don’t get caught being a “square”. • 1963 to 1976: The Beatles touch down on American pavement and the world seems to change overnight. Suddenly, with the advent of this new seminal sound, clean cut kids are growing their hair into mop-tops and sewing the seeds of a counterculture revolution. Soon the whole world seems to go psychedelic as a new psyche emerges. Mysticism, sex, drugs, and rock and roll are explored. A “love your neighbor”, “share the land” vibe becomes fashionable. Beatles tunes seem to be the hymns of a new non-denominational form of spirituality, one of peace and love. This “lucid dream” is so seductive that this modern day renaissance lasts well into the next decade. Art, like the music of this time, is psychedelic and adventurous. • 1977 to 1990: John Travolta swagger-struts down the streets of New York City, swinging a can of paint in Saturday Night Fever, and the whole star-struck, glamour-lusting world goes polyester suit-shopping. Disco music ushers in a whole new artistic scene. Studio 54, a Romanesque disco club, is the A-lister place to be. The music is more synthesizer…less idealistic. As music is always the moon that pulls the cultural tide, peace and love are pushed on the backburner as money is more important for maintaining this club-hopping, materialistic lifestyle. The hippy is replaced by the yuppie who charges up the corporate ladder, in an effort to “keep up with the Joneses”. People begin to chant that they want their MTV, and music, once an audio form of art, becomes just as visual. Real musicians, lacking that television-look, find it very difficult to get a record deal. Needless to say, art goes big-time commercial. • 1991 to 1997: Kurt Cobain, with his Salvation Army clothes and indignant stare, sings about “teen spirit” and single-handedly levels the playing field of music so that the pure and poignant can once again rise up, sending the superficial “hair bands” to an unexpected early grave. As glitz and glamour take a back seat to raw realism, and style is stomped on by substance, the masses start dressing in flannel shirts and embracing political correctness. We see a resurgence of a social consciousness and a personal, introspective sensitivity, not seen on public display since the idealistic days of the sixties. • 1998 to present: Social consciousness and sensitivity seem to go out of style once again. Teen pop, boy bands and songs about aggression or butts and bank accounts become all the rage. After September 11, 2001 a somber mood pervades the cultural landscape which we still are trying to fight today. I say it’s time for another renaissance! Who’s with me? 134 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology How to Acquire Mass Amounts of Knowledge Build Your Vocabulary: A broad vocabulary can take you places. It is one of the key reasons why managers hire employees who don’t necessarily have the best credentials. It enables you to write a book or give a speech. Use Them Or Lose Them: Words are powerful tools, and the more of them you have at your disposal, the more eloquently you can express yourself. Many people are under the assumption that building a better vocabulary merely allows you to show off, with “twenty dollar words”. Not so. Building a better vocabulary familiarizes you with many different ways to use words. Common everyday words are suddenly twice as useful. Words you forgot about are suddenly on the tip of your tongue. And yes, you will learn some “big words”, and yes they will impress some people and annoy others, but that’s not your problem. Don’t stop using these words or you will lose them. The Best Ways To Learn New Words: There are tons of ways to build your vocabulary. When you read, circle words you don’t know and then look them up in the dictionary later. Try to figure out what the word means by paying attention to its context and then confirm your impression by looking up the answer. When your eyes get tired from reading, listen to one of the many vocabulary builder audio programs. Purchase a guide to studying for a graduate school entrance exam, such as the GRE Test. These preparation guides contain a list of vocabulary words that test creators expect college graduates to know. Read often from a variety of challenging literature or subject matter. This way you will come across more unfamiliar words and will also be able to pick up on the jargon of other branches of knowledge. Ask Questions: When you hear an unfamiliar word in conversation, ask the speaker what it means. Don’t be embarrassed and let pride get in the way of your self-education. Try to associate with people who stimulate your mind and have a good vocabulary and then ask them to define words they use that you don’t know. Double Your Education: College classes are a great place to pick up new words, as professors tend to have highly developed vocabularies. If the professor uses a word that you do not know while you are taking notes, jot it down in the margin of the paper and put an asterisk in the sentence where the word was used. This way you can look up the words from several lectures at the same time and then examine it in the proper context (where the asterisk is). Study a little everyday and most importantly, incorporate your new words into your everyday conversations. Celebrate Your New Literary Self: The Grammarian’s Five Daughters is a fantasy tale by Eleanor Arnason. It celebrates the beauty of language and education. Why not read literature which inspires you to read even more? The story is about a grammarian who, although learned and productive, is impoverished and therefore can’t afford a dowry for each of her five daughters. She worries that they will become old maids with miserable existences as scribes in the city market. Feeling sympathetic to their mother’s plight, 135 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology each daughter, one by one, informs the grammarian that she will be journeying out into the world so that there will be one less mouth to feed. The grammarian can only produce a bag of words for each daughter to take with her. Each daughter comes across a land that is in an inchoate state, in one way or another. The types of words that each daughter holds in her bag compliment and complete the individual lands that she has stumbled upon. For example, the eldest daughter was given nouns because they are the “solid core” of language. The land that she chanced upon was a gloomy amorphous mass, with indistinctive entities longing to become sharp and defined. Out of her bag leaped words like “grass” which turned the gray ground into a lush green, and “sun” which illuminated all below. With the other four daughters also civilizing embryonic lands with verbs, adjectives, adverbs, and prepositions, and thus being elected as monarchs, a grand empire is formed. The empire is energetic and complex just like language. This story just may inspire you to develop your own vocabulary! Other Ways to Rival Ivy Leaguers • Museum Hop: Your local museum provides a great inspirational escape. It is a good idea to go to a museum alone so that those with a short attention span will not rush you through an exhibit that captivates you. Study the intricacy of the carvings, the texture of the paintings. Pay attention to the date of the artwork and try to think of what else was going on during that period that perhaps influenced the artist and the popular culture of that time. Use the imagery of paintings for contemplation. • Browse the Treasure Chest: Spend a day every now and then wandering through a library or mega bookstore. Browse the aisles, both fiction and non-fiction. Grab the titles that appeal to your intellect or curiosity. Bring a stack of books to the most comfortable chair in the place. Read leisurely…that is…don’t force yourself. When you get bored of one passage or book, go to another. Or bring a list of names or terms that you keep hearing about and spend the day looking up the definitions in an encyclopedia. Finally, take home the books that you couldn’t put down. • Become Self-Educated: Before you build your intellectual skyscrapers and ivory towers you’ll want to invest in a broad, sturdy knowledge foundation on which to build. If you were one of those who attended your college lectures while hung over, or worse yet, had a friend sign the attendance sheet for you so you could stay home and watch Jerry Springer, there is an opportunity to save face. It’s no surprise that many college graduates think Princess Grace reigned in Morocco and that the industrial revolution was an uprising of the working class. The Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, by E.D.Hirsch, Jr., Joseph F. Kett and James Trefil, will assist you in untangling the hazy mess that is your recollection of your education. This book is divided into many chapters, each on a different subject, such as American History, World Politics, and Literature in English. The entries are in alphabetical order. Almost all the people, places and things that you learned about back in the day are 136 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology described briefly in this book. It’s a great way to fill in the gaps. The puzzle will come together! • Read to Put the Puzzle Together: You’re born, you learn some of the language, and you learn to maneuver in the world. But even if you went all the way to your senior year of college and earned a diploma, there is plenty more that you should know…gasp. Throughout your many years of school, you may have spent time in your classes daydreaming, or you may have heated your mother’s thermometer under a lamp so that you wouldn’t have to attend them. The lesson here: Even if you sat through 16 plus years of education in a neat little seat behind a neat little desk, your education was still haphazard to some degree. It’s time to fill in the gaps and then add to that stable foundation. Use the book described in the above entry to stabilize your foundation and then add story after story after story to your knowledge house (Get it? Story? I couldn’t help that, sorry). Read, read, read! Read everyday…even if just for 15 minutes. Carry a book in your bag so you always have one on hand for unexpected downtime. When you read, you are rapidly learning vocabulary. When you read, you learn more about the world, as you don’t merely see things but they are described to you. You don’t just see a character crying, you hear what’s going on inside her head. When you read, your brain is working harder than if you were watching television. Whereas television is a dictator, telling you what to see, what to hear, when you read, you are given suggestions and you get to imagine the rest. • Read the Classics: Read anything you want to, but fit a few classics into your regimen. The classics are the bodies of work that inspired phrases to be coined such as, “the pen is mightier than the sword.” Don’t you want to see what all the fuss is about? For example, Common Sense, a pamphlet by colonial rebel Thomas Paine, passed around in the pre-revolutionary days, was a catalyst for the Revolutionary War. Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beacher Stowe, which exposed the cruelties and immorality of slavery, was a catalyst for the civil war, Abraham Lincoln admitted. The Jungle by Upton Sinclair, which described the deplorable conditions of the meatpacking industry, was a catalyst for the Food and Drug Act of 1906. Hey, why not write a book that will be considered a classic tomorrow? And read the books that became classics yesterday. • Learn a New Language: Did you take French or Spanish in high school and forget everything because you had nobody to practice with? Why not take up a foreign language again. This time, make audio and computer programs the backbone of your curriculum. Audio programs allow you to learn while you exercise, do your chores, run your errands, or drive in your car. And audio programs seem to keep you company, as you hear the voices of other people. I recommend that you start your language learning with an audio course with Michel Thomas, a world-renowned language coach to celebrities and diplomats. Michel’s techniques make language learning seem almost effortless. The Michel Thomas language courses consist of eight CD’s that run for an hour each and are very affordable. I highly recommend that you begin here. In just eight hours, you will have a firm foundation in your language of choice, and will be at an intermediate level of proficiency. Then you may choose to supplement your learning with The Primsleur Method courses, which will take you to an advanced level. These programs are very efficient, but unfortunately very expensive. These audio programs and many helpful books on language learning are 137 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology available at Amazon.com. If you’d prefer a computer software program, check out RosettaStone.com, which showcases the number one language learning software program in the world which is used by NASA and the U.S. government. This program shows a picture that goes with the word or phrase, spells the word or phrase out and pronounces the word or phrase for you, so retention is easy! • Keep Up With Technology: Even if 1984 scared the willies out of you, you will do yourself a favor by keeping up with technology! Isn’t it better to know how to control technology than to let its invasion control you? It won’t go away just because you are ignoring it. If used properly technology really can make your life easier. If you are still using a type writer, or worse yet an ink bottle and quill, your life is a lot more frustrating than it has to be. In all honesty, to be truly marketable career-wise and to have access to the same conveniences most people do, at the very least you should know how to type (using all your fingers), how to use a word processing program (such as Word or Word Perfect) and how to do a search on the internet. Either take a typing class or if you already own a computer, buy a software tutorial system, such as Typing Teacher. I truly believe that the best way to learn to use a word processing program or how to surf the internet is either by taking a class (have a friend show you if you are broke) or by reading a For Dummies book. As the titles imply, these books really are easy to follow. If you are not sure how to do a search on the internet have a librarian demonstrate for you. I truly believe that Google.com is the greatest internet search engine. You are most likely to find what you are looking for there. Besides searching for words or phrases you can also search for pictures or videos there. If there is a video clip from television or the movies that you would like to view YouTube.com is your best bet. • Be a Savvy Web Surfer: Anytime you need information on any topic, type some key words into a search engine. Don’t give up if your browser’s search engine doesn’t yield any results. Just try another search engine. While you should always start with Google.com, you can also try Altavista.com, Yahoo.com, Ask.com, or MSN.com. If you still can’t find what you are looking for, brainstorm for different key words for the same topic. • Balance Your Reading: You don’t have to read one book at a time. You can read a fiction and a non-fiction book at the same time, switching after each chapter, if you’d like. It is a good idea to read just as many educational books as novels. Remember, anything can be interesting if you give it your undivided attention. • Study Forever: We need to stop thinking of studying as something that only college kids do on exam night while drinking Jolt cola and scarfing down delivery pizza. If you are out of school, you should still be studying. Study the subject of your choice. You will continually develop yourself as a person while ensuring that your mental capacity will be up to par in your old age Those who keep studying beyond their school-age years are less likely to develop dementia in their twilight years. • Read an Article that Looks Lame: Instead of skipping an article that looks boring, stick it out with your undivided attention and you will expand your knowledge bank. You stretch and strengthen your intellectual power every time you try and see things from a different perspective. Even if you do not agree with the 138 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology ideology of a given article, isn’t it better to know how the enemy thinks so you can refute their logic? • Watch Crossfire-like Shows: Watching a battle of the wits between political pundits can ignite an enthusiasm for politics and world news. And they do get feisty! • Read Something Offbeat: Get off the beaten intellectual path by reading something from an original fresh-minded author. My latest favorite: Francesca Lia Block’s writing is seductive and her depictions of the world are intricately woven like gossamer fibers. Her clouds are like fluffy cotton candy, and her character’s minds are ravenous for the world . Try Girl Goddess #9 or Violet and Claire. Or why not explore the original, unrefined Grimm Brother’s Fairy Tales? 139 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part Two: Mind Chapter 12 How to Be More Creative and Artistic Ever wish you could write a book or film script? If you want to be the next J.K. Rowling you need to be as creative and artistic as possible. Everyone wonders how J.K. Rowling can write those long, imaginative Harry Potter books. When people watch The Simpsons and marvel at Homer’s latest crazy antics, they wonder, “How do the writers come up with this stuff?” How do inventors think of their million dollar inventions? How do musicians come up with great songs? The following tips will assist you in enhancing your creativity and artistic abilities: Unleash Your Creativity • Best Creative Tip Ever: Turn off that idiot box already! Do you watch television haphazardly? Is the remote control, your life force, the TV Guide your salvation? Just repeat after me, “Excessive television viewing is counter to creativity.” It makes you a passive thinker. It makes you lazy. As you continue to read this book, you will notice a bit of television bashing here and there. It’s not that I think that television as a tool in and of itself is a negative force in our lives. On the contrary, it is a powerful medium with which to exhibit art and news. Viewing quality art and news on the television in moderation can actually be conducive to creative thinking as you are exposed to new ideas. Unfortunately, real art and real news are rarely exhibited these days. So, to live life to the fullest and to think in your highest capacity, limit your television viewing and click off the time-wasting garbage. • Be the Next Nicola Tesla: The next time you desire something that’s not in existence yet (and this does happen often), why not consider inventing the item yourself? Anyone can apply for a patent without the aid of a lawyer or “invention promotion” company. First, check to be certain that nobody has patented your idea already by logging onto the Patent and Trademark Office (PTO) website at Uspto.gov. If no patent exists as of yet, you can file for a utility patent by sending in an illustration of your invention, a written description of it, a notarized signature saying that this is your own invention and a filing fee of $370. PTO is very particular about how your submission should be prepared so visit their website, or call (800)786-9199 for guidelines. Once your patent is approved you can try to sell your idea to a company or you can market the product yourself, and nobody will have the right to make money on your precious idea! 140 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Take Your Thoughts to Go: Sometimes you will have a brilliant idea and no journal on hand to record it. Invest in a pocket tape recorder. Carry it around in your purse. This way you will have it whenever the muse strikes you…traffic jams, while waiting in line, or at a party. Sometimes, you will think of a great idea for an article or an essay and will not be able to type fast enough to get it all down. Why not recite the ideas as they come in the stream of consciousness fashion and then play back the tape, while typing and editing the material later? An added bonus for musicians: How many times have you thought up a fabulous melody only to forget it when you pick up your guitar or sit at your piano? Just hum the melody into your pocket tape recorder. I also suggest keeping your pocket tape recorder on your night stand so you can grab it when you wake up from a dream. Capture that otherworldly wisdom! Even Bart Simpson is savvy enough to carry a pocket tape recorder. On one episode he recorded an important message for later use- “Note to self: Put spiders in Lisa’s bed.” • Sharpen Your Imagination: Dream up intricate patterns in your mind and let them swirl around in vibrant, neon colors. Make sure that the ocean waves of your daydreams ripple. Add texture and sound to the images in your mind. Close your eyes and imagine that there is a kaleidoscope in your brain, with its dancing shapes. Replay a song from the radio in your head in a very detailed fashion…drums, bass line, guitar solo, vocals, etc... Or invent a new sound or a new color! How do you know it can’t be done (he, he)? • Write with the Wrong Hand: This simple trick is a secret long used by creative people. Practice writing clearly and distinctly with the hand you do not ordinarily use to give your brain a workout. • Silent Movies: Turn the sound down when you are watching a television show or movie and try to figure out what the characters are thinking and feeling, as well as what the plot is about. • Sketch Your Day: Bored of writing? Sketch your thoughts once in a while. Concentrate on the textures and shading of the shapes you draw. Or turn your day into a comic strip complete with captions. You might just become the next Charles Schultz! • Become the Next Mozart: Why not take up a musical instrument? We all know that music study has been correlated with achievement in math and science. In addition, you will find that music is a great creative outlet for every emotion you can possibly experience, especially if you write your own songs. Some of the greatest songs of all time were born out of horrible relationship breakups. I like to go for walks with my pocket tape recorder, by the ocean, a haunted house, through the woods, etc…I find that being in an “extreme environment” causes melodies to naturally manifest themselves in my mind. I hum the melody into my pocket tape recorder and then translate it to my instruments later. • Ars Gratia Artis: You may recognize this as the Latin slogan for Metro Goldwyn Meyer. It means, “Art for art’s sake”. It became a popular chant of bold artists like Oscar Wilde, during the Victorian era, when strict cultural mores threatened to silence works of art that did not contain a moral message consistent with the popular 141 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology sentiment of the time. “Art for art’s sake” is an encouragement for artistic freedom. Let your imagination run wild by not judging your art while you are in the act of creating it. Don’t worry about what other people will think about your painting, novel, or screenplay. This will inhibit the final product • Creatively Visualize: Before you try something new, especially something that intimidates you, imagine yourself completing the task successfully. For example, before you sing the national anthem at a football game, imagine yourself standing before the crowd, hitting every note with precision. Imagine what you are wearing, your posture, and your breathing pattern. Imagine the crowd cheering as a satisfied smile spreads across your face. This mental preparation is just as important to your success as practices and rehearsals. This activity soothes you, as the imagery informs your subconscious mind that successful results are possible and more familiar to you than failure. • Explore Your Mind: Next time you are in the library and exploring the fiction section, pick out a book based on the picture on the cover. While the old adage of not judging a book by its cover is “right-on”, this is about you exploring the visual aspect of your imagination. Reading the book may give you some insight as to why that particular picture on the cover captivated you. Enhance Creativity Creativity is one of the main keys to success and joy in life. There is something about creating your own art, invention, or solution to a problem that gives you a deep feeling of satisfaction. Creativity is the ultimate form of self-expression. The creative process is truly rewarding spiritually and even financially! It is definitely worth the time and effort to nurture your creative side. Here are some ideas. • Go to the park more often. The combination of people-watching and natural surroundings will help stimulate your imagination. Feel free to go on the swings or on the slide if you please. Child-like feelings of glee are very conducive to both creativity and happiness. • Read biographies of famous creative people who inspire you. • Bring your journal to the beach, park, or on vacation. Being in a different environment shakes up your perspective, inspires your artistic side, and definitely makes for an interesting journal entry. I truly feel that a vacation is one of the very best ways to get your creative juices flowing. • Review your journal entries often to reinforce in your mind creative moments you were lucky enough to capture. • Do something shocking, literally. The next time you are at the pool on a sunny day, jump in right away, without sticking your foot in first to check the temperature. Jumping into a pool without gradually warming up to it is one of 142 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology the best ways to suddenly shift your mental and physical state, thus bringing on a surge of creativity and excitement! It is also the most efficient way to get into a pool! Jump in already! • Ride a roller coaster or go on another thrill ride. This exhilaration is a natural high which causes creative energy to burst forth. • A creative state can be tapped through both excitement and relaxation. To experience creativity through relaxation, learn to do yoga or meditate. Both provide a whole new way of looking at the day. • You charge your creative battery every time you break the monotony in your life. Do something to shake up your routine as often as possible. Intense Imagination Besides adding new experiences to your life, you will need a well-developed imagination to reach your creative peak. When you envision something in your head, how clear is the image? Do you daydream in cloudy images or in vivid, detailed pictures? An inventor from the nineteenth century, Nicola Tesla had such a well-developed imagination that he could invent a machine and be certain that it would work before he even built it, by building it and operating it in his mind first! His imagination was so clear and detailed that he did not need to test the machine in real life to be sure it could carry out its purpose! If your imagination is a bit hazy, you can improve its quality! It is common knowledge that most humans use less than 10% of our brains. Some researchers have said that we use less than 2%! Let’s break through this boundary! Practice this short simple exercise everyday: • Think of a picture of a place that you have visited. Let’s take an ocean, for example. • Close your eyes and imagine the ocean. Concentrate on seeing the colors and details of the water as vividly as possible. • Add motion to the picture. In this example, you can imagine the ocean waves rolling and rippling. • Keep adding more detail to the picture. You might want to imagine sunlight shining on the water, making it glisten. • Practice intensifying your imagination with sound, scent, taste, and touch. Listen to the seagulls and crashing waves. Smell the saltwater and coconut suntan lotion. Remember what foods you ordered the last time you went to the beach, like hotdogs and soda and what it tasted like. Imagine feeling the soft grains of sand under your feet as you walk or the ocean waves crashing against your ankles as you begin to wade through the water. • Try to imagine a different scene everyday. For example, think of a baseball game, an amusement park, or an air show. This will improve your mental imagery. Your 143 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology creativity will blossom even more and your brain will become sharper. Your improved imagination will also enable you to explore the world in your mind. Brainstorming How can you come up with a bunch of fresh ideas in a hurry? Try brainstorming! Brainstorming is searching your mind for anything useful or creative. When you brain storm you write down all your ideas on a sheet of paper. You can then transfer the good ones to your journal. Your journal is a resource you can use to gather ideas you’ve had and captured for a creative project. Try it now: • Use a piece of blank paper. Think with your goals in mind. For example, perhaps you have thought of an idea for an invention or a clever line you would like one of the characters in the book you are writing to say. • If you are having trouble thinking up ideas, do the exercise explained in the Intense Imagination section of this book. Upon completion of the exercise, let your mind wander from your imaginings. Stay in this state of intense but random thought. Remind yourself again of what your goal for this brainstorming session is and begin to think in that direction. • Write down any ideas from this process as they come to you. • After 10 minutes, examine the ideas. Transfer the good ones to your journal (you might want to create a second journal specifically for creative ideas, or have one journal for each of your creative goals). • Take the most exciting idea that you’ve come up with and use it during an Advanced Brainstorming session. Advanced Brainstorming • Use a blank sheet of paper and write the best idea from your brainstorming session in a circle at the center of the page. • Use the Intense Imagination exercise, but use the brainstorming idea as the focal point. Imagine the idea vividly and in action. For example, if you thought of a melody for an instrumental, hum it in your mind, and perhaps add layers to the sound. • Record all related ideas that come to you by drawing a line from the circle in the center of the paper to new circles containing the new ideas. Then meditate on these new ideas and branch off of them. • After 10 minutes, examine the ideas. What you have before you is an incomplete outline for your idea. You may want to organize these ideas into a plan of action and implement it today! 144 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part Two: Mind Chapter 13 How to Develop and Nurture Your Talents Everyone has a talent, even if they have not discovered it yet. Talent is a skill that you do extraordinarily well. Having a talent makes you feel unique, confident, and even star-like. Talented people can get attention, fortune and fame. Of course anyone can get these things by simply looking good or being at the right place and the right time, but truly talented people always get the most respect. The good news is that while some people are naturally gifted, anyone who devotes their time, energy and heart to practice can come to be described as talented. If you ever wanted to be described as “talented” do not miss this section! Find Your Talent There is something that you can do better than most people. If you have not yet discovered what that is then your first job is to find your talent. Did you grow up watching The Brady Bunch? Do you remember Jan Brady’s obsessive quest to try and find her talent? Envious of her older sister Marcia’s popularity and success, Jan set out to find a talent, any talent. She tried many, many, many skills, determined to find one she was good at. (Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!) If you have not yet found your talent then you should do like Jan did. Start taking classes in a variety of topics, as often as possible. If one does not truly interest you, drop it and try another. Try your hand at things you are truly interested and fascinated by only. Keep going until you find something that you are good at and love to do. Give yourself enough time to develop the skill before you make an assessment and give up. Try acting, singing, tap, jazz, modern dance, ballet, guitar, piano, painting, sports, jewelry-making, fashion-design, gourmet cooking, public speaking or take a computer programming course. The possibilities are infinite. Don’t give up! 145 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Nurture Your Talent Once you have found your talent (or a few talents), immerse yourself in it. Nurture it. Go to classes regularly. Read books on the subject. Master the knowledge. Go to conventions. Network with others in the field. Find help online. The most important thing you can do is to practice the skill diligently. Research shows us that people who practice every day for a longer than average period of time can become just as good as those who are naturally gifted. So every minute you devote to refining your craft is a great investment. If you want to be ahead of the curve, I suggest practicing your talent for at least an hour a day. Schedule your talent nurturing sessions in your daily planner so you are less likely to blow them off. Use Your Talent We’ve all heard that old maxim about how it may be sinful to waste our talents by choosing not to use them. Don’t let your talents lay dormant due to laziness. Even if it’s not a sin to waste a talent, why would you want to? Untapped talents are equivalent to untapped oil wells. You are missing out on the blessings that come with your very own natural resource. Even if you don’t make a living by using your talents, they will bring joy, satisfaction and passion to your life. So use your talents! Dancing Secrets o Camera Choreography: Purchase a video camera and a tripod and record your dancing. Videotape your spontaneous choreography and when you come up with a good move you will capture it for later use. Watch it and practice it again and again and your dancing will be better and better, and your own choreography sets will get longer and longer as you integrate several moves of your own design into a routine. o Instructional Videos: Take private classes in your room with dance instruction videos. o Mimic Some Moves: Watch your favorite dance videos on YouTube.com and learn dance moves by focusing on one dancer at a time. For example, watch and mimic the red haired girl in Pharell’s Frontin video. o Dress the Part: Motivate yourself to dance by collecting dancing costumes to practice in. The added drama will motivate your movements. For example, belly dancing clothing and accessories are available at goddessworkout.com. Here you will find hip-hugging, long flowing skirts, belly chains, and veils. And how about a pair of finger cymbals? o Mirrored Moves: Put a full-length mirror in the room that you practice dancing in. Preferably, you could install mirrored doors on your closet. This way, you could get 146 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology a great, unabridged visual of your movements, and you could actually see most all of your choreography routine. If you use just a full-length mirror, you will naturally want to see yourself as much as possible. You will probably hover within the narrow width of the mirror, cutting off your opportunity for a fluid, lively routine. o Nightclub for One: Buy a disco ball or strobe light, and some psychedelic-tinged dance music for your room and make your dance sessions a visual and audio adventure. Turn your room into a dance club by zig-zagging the air with glow sticks, or wear glow-in-the-dark shoes, necklaces or beads. No seriously, anything that will make dancing more fun will keep you motivated. (Yes, a dance club for one is pathetic, so you have to promise me that you will only use this setup to motivate you to practice dancing, not as a substitute for some desperate Friday night. I’d much rather you get out and see the town! He he.) o Public Practice: Go to a dance club at least once a week and get practice while you exhibit your prowess in public. Dress lightly so you will dance longer. Instead of alcohol drink water to keep your body well hydrated. o Hips Don’t Lie: Dancing well depends largely on your ability to move your hips. Focus on your hips a little more when you practice and you will notice an instant improvement. Learn to roll your hips by imagining that you are drawing a circle with them. The Goddess Workout will teach you to belly dance, the greatest form of hip rolling of all time. Or watch a Shakira video on YouTube.com and learn some great hip shaking moves. o Gazelle-like Grace: The better your balance and posture, the better a dancer you will be. Here is a simple improvement program: o Step One: Memorize how it feels to stand up straight by practicing against a wall, paying good attention to what your doing and how you feel. Stand and focus long enough to memorize how it feels to have your head up straight, your shoulders pulled back, your back straight and your feet shoulder width apart. o Step Two: Practice walking with the same upright posture. A modeling school secret from way back is to walk with a book balancing atop your head. Learn to walk at a pace that is comfortable for you. o Step Three: Try to balance on your left foot for 15 seconds and then try your right foot. Try to balance for a little longer each day. Repeat for at least 3 times, on each foot, each day. o Step Four: Supplement your posture/balance program by walking or doing aerobic exercise each day. When you combine this with your dancing practice, balancing will begin to feel natural to you. As far as shaking the routine up, elliptical machines and stair climbers can aid in helping you improve your balance. And if you really want to have a good time, invest in a low balance beam! 147 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology o To dance well, you need energy, stamina, and strength. Be sure to eat healthy, drink water, and take a vitamin supplement. Ideally, you would do aerobics every day and weight train 2 to 3 times a week. Be sure to include lunges in your routine, as a dancer needs strong legs. And stretch everyday to keep yourself as limber as possible. 148 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Singing/ Musician Secrets • Born to Sing: This is a complete, comprehensive course in singing. It is available at Amazon.com. It is reputed to be the best substitute for professional lessons. You will learn vocal skills, styles, and how to expand your range. • The Total Singer: This affordable video, hosted by international singing expert, Lisa Popeil, will teach you 12 steps to enhance vocal ability including posture, breathing, support, ring, airflow, registers, range, larynx positions, nasality, breathiness, vibrato, and power. You will also learn pop, rock, jazz, country, and classical styles of singing. It is available from Voiceworks Method. You can reach them at 1-800-BEL-VOCE. • The Musician’s Resource: You can find everything you can possibly need to play and record music at Musician.com. You can buy your instruments, sheet music, and instructional videos here and you can also find the support, advice, and information you need as a novice. • Guitar for Dummies: This is an indispensable resource for one who can’t afford music lessons or a great reinforcing supplement to one who can. This book assumes you have zero knowledge of the instrument, of reading music, and builds a comprehensive foundation from there. It is easy to follow and comes with a CD so you can hear the melodies before you play them. This book is available at Amazon.com. • Watch and Play Guitar: This instructional video is great if you just got a guitar but feel an insatiable need to impress people tomorrow. Just follow the instructor and copy what he does. You will learn some basic blues, rock, gospel, folk and country music. A wide repertoire in an instant! This video is available at musicvideo.com. • Fretboard Physics: This collection of 6 instructional videos, is a comprehensive guitar course which takes you all the way from beginner to advanced techniques. It can be found at musician.com. • Piano for Dummies: This easy-to-follow book takes the difficulty out of learning the piano. At times entertaining, at other times enlightening, this book will teach you scales, chords, different styles, and many, many songs. It comes with a CD so that you can hear the songs that you will play. This book is available at Amazon.com. • Instructional Books and Computer Programs: Alfred Publishing is the leader in quality music instruction. They specialize in lesson books for professionals and quality software programs. They also sell tons of sheet music. You can request a catalog by writing to them at Alfred Publishing, Co., Inc., P.O. Box 10003, Van Nuys, CA 91410-0003. 149 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Play Piano Overnight: This instructional video uses a completely innovative, untraditional approach to teaching piano. It is good when used in conjunction with more traditional lessons. This approach uses patterns and numbers instead of notes to show you how to play and compose music in under an hour. The video is available through Thane Marketing International, at P.O. Box 1481, La Quinta, CA 92253, or call them at 800-237-0030. • Blues Piano: To add spice to your piano playing, do like they do in the French Quarter of New Orleans and play the blues. The Blues Licks video will teach you how the blues can be incorporated into many different styles of music. This video is available at Musicvideo.com. • The Perfect Piano: One way to motivate yourself to stick to your piano lessons is to buy a beautiful piano that has a fantastic sound. Visit Shawnspiano.com to learn how you can get a beautiful quality piano for less. • Musical Instruments: Can’t afford the instrument of your dreams? Don’t despair. Look for music stores or music classes in the yellow pages. Then call the various services and inquire if they have payment plans for the instruments that they sell. Still can’t find an affordable instrument? Visit musiciansbuyline.com for more information. 150 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Acting Secrets o Hollywood , Here I Come! An Insider’s Guide to a Successful Acting and Modeling Career in Los Angeles, is an indispensable guide for the starlet set! Written by Cynthia Hunter, it is chockfull of tips and tricks for the wannabe actress! o Become the Actress: Sure taking acting lessons is a wise decision, but why not learn from the real-life lab as well? Pay attention to your vocal inflection, body language, and facial expressions when you emote different feelings, or respond to different situations in real life, so you will know what to do when you are acting. o Get an Agent: Finding an agent does not have to be hard. Smart Girls Productions, is a company that can find help find you an agent for as little as $95! You will be interviewed for 2 hours so that they can assess you as an actor and gather information to sell you with. They will then find the 50 most compatible agents for you and prepare a cover letter for each. Their success ratio for placing actors with agents is 70-80%! Contact them at (213)850-5778. o Assessing the Agent: The following tips are from Hollywood Here I Come, An Insider’s Guide to an Acting and Modeling Career in Los Angeles: To find the perfect agent for you, ask how many clients the agent has. You can get a list of your prospective agent’s clients from SAG (Screen Actors’ Guild) if you are a member. This is worth the membership fee alone! Here are some more questions to ask your prospective agent: “Are any of your other client’s in my category of acting? What is your game plan for selling me? What casting directors do you know well? Will you personally handle me? What would your goal be regarding my career?” 151 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Writing Secrets • Writer’s Digest: This is the first stop for anyone considering a career in writing. It is the most reputable source of information regarding the writing craft. If you have access to the internet, be sure to stop by Writersdigest.com. If you do not have internet access, be sure to pick up a copy of Writer’s Digest Magazine. Both sources contain instructional information on all facets of the art and business of writing…from writing the book…to publishing it…to marketing it…you will learn all the insider tricks of the trade. You will also be able to join the Writer’s Digest Book Club, which specializes in the very best in writing information publishing. This is also the best source to find out where the legitimate writing contests are, as there are many, many writing scams. Writers Digest publishes an annual compendium on how to contact all the publishing companies, big and small, with your book proposal. This same resource also gives you the contact information for many agents. It is often times easier to be published if you have an agent representing you, and this resource also gives you tips on how to attract agents to your work. • Freelance Writing: Visit About.com, an informational site with a section devoted to freelance writing. You will learn about the profession itself and how to get started. This site contains countless writers’ resources. • The Cold Hard Facts: As you begin your foray into the writer’s world, prepare to come across much discouragement in the form of statistics and cold, hard facts. It is true that becoming a financially successful published author is quite difficult, and the statistics are not in a beginner’s favor. Many beginning writer’s resources seem to wave this information on a banner, as if they are trying to dissuade you from even trying to become a writer. Don’t be discouraged. If you really believe in your ideas and abilities, you will be the one out of many to see your words immortalized in print. Making a killing in the writing business is rare, but money shouldn’t be what drives you anyway. Lust for money does not inspire the muse and is pretty much useless in this art form. You must write because you are driven to express yourself and because you enjoy weaving your many impressions of the universe into an intricate tapestry, not because you want to see a million dollar paycheck. If you write for the right reasons, you will be a happy and successful author. This is because even if your manuscript is rejected by every publishing company in the book, you can always self-publish or share your writing with friends, family, or your progeny. • Resume Building Tips: When submitting a manuscript for an article or book, or if you are trying to attract an agent, make sure to put everything you’ve ever published on your resume. This can include writing for the school paper, the newsletter at your job, the local town paper, a website you’ve created, things published through academic societies you belong to, such as poster presentations, academic journal articles, your thesis if the school published it to their website, etc…Remember that you may have a better chance of being published in a fan oriented magazine, or “zine” if you will, then in a big production mainstream magazine at first. That’s okay, the more of these publications you appear in, the longer your resume, and the better chance you have of securing an agent or getting published by a commercial 152 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology publication. We at Celebrity-Beauty-Secret-Goldmine.com accept article submissions. These announcements are featured in our e-zine. Subscribe by visiting: Celebrity-beauty-secret-goldmine.com/subscribe.html Business Woman Secrets • Become a Website Millionaire: Find a business to go into that stimulates your creativity and that you have lots of experience with. If you can’t start the actual business that you want, you can always set up a “virtual business”. For example, if you don’t have the capital to open a restaurant, you can create a website which shares your knowledge of cooking with the world. If you would like to learn how you can make money, even become a millionaire by starting your own website business, then visit, Celebrity-beauty-secret-goldmine.com/about-us.html. Here I reveal the strategy my mother and I used to create our website. We had absolutely no website business experience or particular technical savvy. You can do it too! • Your New Best Friend: Your best ally when starting a new business will be the Small Business Administration. Visit Sba.gov and you will be astonished at all the services they provide to the prospective small business owner. You will be walked through planning, starting and managing your business with clever online tools. They also offer financial assistance, grants, online training, counseling, and web chats. They even have a library, offer legal guidance, and have common forms available for download that are necessary for small businesses. • The Perks of Being Female: You can also find information about opportunities specifically for women at the Small Business Administration’s website (visit Sba.gov). The Office of Women’s Business Ownership (OWBO) is one such opportunity. From the Small Business Administration website: The Office of Women’s Business Ownership (OWBO) helps “women achieve their dreams and improve their communities by helping them start and run successful businesses, regardless of social or financial disadvantage, race, ethnicity or business background. OWBO and the Online Women's Business Center are integral components of Entrepreneurial Development's network of training and counseling services.” • Be Your Own Brand: People are not fascinated by faceless corporations or businesses. If you portray yourself as the face of your business and make your business uniquely yours you will wield much power…the power of fascination. People find personalities fascinating. Communicate from your own personal point of view, and make it interesting! This will captivate your potential customer and hold their interest so they keep coming back for more. And an individual can seem more trustworthy than a corporation to a consumer, in many forums. This results in customer trust and loyalty. When a brand of one recommends a product or service, their fans listen! Often brands of one have their own vast array of products. Brands of one include Oprah Winfrey, Rachel Ray, Martha Stewart, Jennifer Lopez, and even Paris Hilton! 153 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part Two: Mind Chapter 14 How to Become Wealthy and Financially Savvy Tired of over-drafting checks and eating ramen noodles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? (Did you know there is even a ramen noodle cookbook written with the finances of college students in mind?) Well, here you will find the most practical easy to understand money information all in one place! Instead of pouring over 10 books to find this info, just turn to Chapter 14, should you have a money problem, big or small. Problem Solving: Stressed Out about Money Problems What is the problem? I am struggling financially. Be more specific about what about the problem is bothering you. I am tired of living paycheck to paycheck. I am a “live for the moment” kind of person and sometimes I do spontaneous things, like go out to eat, or take an unpaid day off from work, and then I suffer later when I overdraft my checking account and can’t pay my bills on time. How does this make you feel? It makes me feel irresponsible. I don’t know why I can’t be more disciplined. More importantly it makes me feel stressed out and scared. I hate thinking thoughts like, “Am I going to be able to pay the rent on time?” or, “Oops, did I just cause an overdraft?” 154 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Can you think of anything you can do to solve this problem? • • • • I need to create a budget and stick to it. I need to assign each of my bills to be paid on a specific paycheck date, and pay them as soon as I get paid so I don’t spend the money on less important things first. I need to be sure to write down every single deposit, withdrawal, or purchase involving my checking account or check card in my checkbook register the second it happens so I don’t forget about it and cause an overdraft fee. I need to open a savings account that I can dip into just for emergencies. Is there anything preventing you from doing this? • • • • I don’t know how to create a budget and find it all very confusing. I always forget when my bills are due for payment. My checkbook register doesn’t always fit in the purse I am carrying, so I can’t jot down transactions right away. I don’t have enough money to open a savings account. If so, what do you need to conquer this obstacle? • • • • I need to learn how to create a budget. I need a more prominent reminder of when to pay my bills. I need a method of keeping on top of my check transactions that I can fit in all my purses. I need to make some money to put into my savings account. Describe how you will do this: • • • • I will read this section of this book thoroughly to find out how to create a budget. Instead of just keeping my bills in a “To Pay” pile, I decided I also needed a visual representation of when the bills were due so that I could plan my payments better. So I bought a calendar and I mark the dates in bright magic marker each month. I’ve even begun to color code the payment schedule. I called my bank and asked if they had a smaller checkbook register. They mailed me one the size of a credit card that I can take anywhere. I will work some overtime until I make a couple hundred dollars to put in my savings account. Now make a plan: 155 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology The following things are my secret weapons to help me prevent financial problems: • Budget: I will create a budget spreadsheet with Microsoft Excel, or I will purchase budgeting software, such as Quicken. To make the Excel spreadsheet I will designate a row for each of my bills. I will have columns that intersect with the rows with titles such as “Company”, “Account Number, “Due Date”, “Payment Amount”, “Phone Number”, “Website address”, “Username”, “Password”, etc… Update the spreadsheet every month if anything changes. Check the spreadsheet on the days you designate to pay your bills to make sure they all get paid and to have easy access to the information you need to pay them. • To Pay Pile: Keep all your bills in your “To Pay” pile. This can be kept in a box, basket, bin, etc…See the “How to Organize Your Home” section in Part 1, Chapter 8 of this book for more info on using the “To Do”, “To Pay”, “To Read” and “To File” system for organizing your paperwork. • Calendar: I will update my calendar each month so that I can see exactly when my bills are due. I will use my budgeting spreadsheet to get this info. I will also update the calendar with when my paydays occur. I will decide what paychecks will pay for what bills ahead of time. For example, I get paid bimonthly, so I will pay my rent with the paycheck I get on the 30th and my paycheck on the 15th will pay all my other bills. I will set up auto-pay for my bills on my payday so that I have no choice but to pay my bills first, instead of being able to spend all my money shopping and eating out first. (WARNING: Only set up auto-pay if you are absolutely certain that there will always be enough money in your checking account to cover these bills on your pay day and if you also have a savings account for emergencies. If there is any chance that your paycheck will be short or that you will need to take money out of your checking account for emergencies then DO NOT set up auto-pay or you will incur horrible, expensive overdraft fees). If need be, I will call each company and have them change the due date so that they coordinate with the paycheck dates that I will be paying those bills on. • Checkbook Register: I will keep it up to date with no excuses. I will use the calculator in my cell phone to help me update my register after I make a purchase or withdrawal. If I don’t have a cell phone, I will carry around a calculator. • Savings Account: My savings account will make me eligible for overdraft protection at my bank. This will help me to prevent overdraft charges, just in case. I will also use my savings account for emergencies, such as when a tire goes flat or when the refrigerator breaks. (By the way, Dear Reader- Is your refrigerator running? Then you better go catch it! Ha, Ha! That has to be all time lamest crank call cliché). 156 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Other Ways to Get a Handle on Your Dough: • Get a Checking Account with a Debit Card: Just about every bank and credit union offers a debit card with a Visa or Mastercard logo. This offers the convenience of not having to write out checks. It is ideal to have when you need to buy stuff online or pay by phone. • Have Your Paycheck Electronically Deposited: Having to deposit and wait for a paycheck to clear can be a huge, annoying hassle. If your company offers electronic deposit, you can always rely on your funds being available on every payday. • Pay Your Bills Electronically: Many banks offer the ability to pay your bills automatically online for a small fee each month. For example, First Union (soon to become Wachovia Bank) offers the ability to pay your bills on a weekly, biweekly, semi monthly or monthly basis. Or you can pay a bill for just one time without having to hunt for envelopes and stamps. You simply enter the company’s name and address and information about when and how frequently you want to pay the bill and it happens automatically! No more late fees or having to designate the dreaded “bill-paying day”. Not only does this work for paying companies but if you have to pay your landlord rent, or pay your brother a little bit of money each week that he lent you, this service will send them a check several days before the day that you designate as their payday, so that they always receive it in a timely manner. This makes you look so good! You also may want to check out the company to see if they have an automatic payment plan, where they automatically deduct money from your checking account on a certain day each month. • Budget Your Money: Make a list of all your bills, and decide which paychecks will pay for each. Did you know that you could change the due dates of your credit cards and other bills? Just call the customer service line and let them know when in the month is most convenient for you to pay your bill. Then pay your bills as soon as you get your check. Next, buy something that will bring you closer to achieving your goals, (such as a typing tutorial software program). Finally, do allow yourself to spend some of your money on something that will make you happy, whether that be a CD, movie tickets or a new outfit. • Become Financially Savvy: The more you learn about money, the more of it you will have. Expand your financial know how by logging onto www.FOOL.com where you will find a huge collection of money and investing information. If you need help pulling yourself out of debt, call Debt Counselors of America at (800)6803328. • Get a Savvy Financial Advisor: f you feel it’s time for you to seek the wisdom of a financial advisor, be sure you recruit one who does not work on a commission basis. You can find such an advisor at the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors. Call them at (888) Fee-Only. 157 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place • by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Do a Self Credit Check: Check your credit report a minimum of every year to make sure that it is accurate and that no fraud is being committed under your name and social security number. Remember, after you pay off a creditor it can take up to 60 days for that creditor to contact one of the three major credit bureaus. The three major credit bureaus are Transunion (transunion.com), Experian (experian.com) and Equifax (equifax.com) When one of the three major credit bureaus is contacted about an update needed for your credit report, the theory is that the information will eventually filter down to the other credit bureaus. You might want to order a report from all three and contact them about any mistakes. You can order the three credit reports at any of the above websites. 158 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology An In-Control Budget When you get your budget in control, you will begin to be able to afford the things that you want and need and will simultaneously build peace of mind for yourself. You will feel organized. You will know that you’ll have enough money for lunch and for gas. You will stop getting those scary notices in the mail and having nightmares about being evicted. You will be able to pay for the things that you need to achieve your goals. You will have more money at your disposal as you will be paying less in finance charges, interest rates and sleepless nights. Are you out of sick days? To budget your money, check out the “net” amount of your paycheck. Determine how much money you “net” (bring home after taxes are withheld) per month. Subtract your monthly expenses (be sure to factor in gas and groceries). Then determine how much you have to “burn”. The best thing to do is to pay your bills in a way so that you have about the same amount of money to “burn” with every paycheck so that you can keep this “disposable amount” in mind. You can contact your creditors and ask that they change your payment due dates to the middle or end of the month, whatever coordinates with your paycheck dates and helps you keep the “disposable” amount consistent. You can also schedule automatic online payments (summarized below) so that you pay about the same amount out with each check. For more information on budgeting, you can consult Personal Finance for Dummies or Girls Just Want to Have Funds by Susannah Goodman. I also highly recommend any book by Suze Orman, a well-respected financial guru who is good at putting things into simple terms. Or you may want to invest in a personal finance program for your computer, which can help you create a budget among other things, like Quicken or Microsoft Money. Want to alleviate a ton of mental anguish from your life? Once you’ve budgeted your money, get your financial situation in order. This doesn’t have to be hard or expensive. Sure, if you can afford a financial planner it can be a great luxury. But for those of us without a dime to spare, you can make a few shifts in your current routine that will make your financial life as close to carefree as it can possibly be. Join your company’s 401K plan If you have entered the work force, I would recommend that you participate in your company’s retirement plan. Participation in such a plan has numerous advantages. If you work for a corporation, your company should offer a 401k plan. You can contribute a percentage of your gross salary to the plan tax deferred, and thereby reduce the amount of money that you are taxed on. Your gross salary is the dollar amount you get before taxes are taken out of your paycheck. For example, if your gross pay check amount is $500 and you contribute 10% of your pay to your 401k plan, you are only going to be taxed on $450 instead of $500, and therefore you pay less in taxes now. Another advantage is that your employer may match your contribution up to a certain percentage. For example, your plan may allow you to contribute anywhere from 1 to 10% of your pay and your employer may match your contribution dollar for dollar up to the first 5%. So if the gross amount of your paycheck is $500 and you contribute 10% and your employer matches you up to the first 5%, then you put $50 into the plan, and your employer 159 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology puts in $25. To not participate in the plan in our example, therefore is equivalent to passing up a 5% raise. Yet another advantage to having a 401k is that you may be able to take out a loan against it. You pay yourself back, usually through payroll deductions. When you leave your employer you can either roll the money over into a new employer’s plan or into an IRA (individual retirement account) with your bank, free of tax implications. A 401K will even be handy for making a down payment on a house. Or you could just cash out your 401K and take a cruise around the world. But be forewarned- if you choose to cruise, there will be a 10% tax penalty charged to you in the year following the distribution because you are under retirement age. Plus the IRS mandates that there be a 20% federal tax withholding, so you actually get a check for 80% of what was in your account. You may get some of that back in the year following the distribution depending on your tax bracket. The administrator of your 401k will send you a 1099R form so you can file your taxes. All in all it is best not to cash out your 401K but start saving in it as young as you possibly can so that you can be secure during your retirement and have money to borrow against and to use for emergencies. As far as allocating your assets, you will have a choice of being conservative, which usually means putting your money in bonds (these offer little potential risk and little potential reward), being moderate, which usually means putting your money in mutual funds which can contain stocks and bonds (more risk, more potential reward), and being aggressive, which usually means putting your money in stocks (most risk, most potential reward). Most investment experts recommend allocating your assets in a percentage ratio that hovers close to 50/50, in other words, you would have 50% of your money in conservative funds and 50% in aggressive funds. If you are younger, you might want to go 60/40, aggressive/conservative, and if you are older, you might want to go the other way, 40/60, aggressive/conservative. Ways to Get Money When You’re Desperate When you are desperate for cash, come back and check this list to make sure you’ve exhausted all your options: • • • • • 401K Personal Loan: You can usually borrow up to half of your vested balance. You will pay yourself back with each paycheck. 401K Withdrawal: You can do this only for certain reasons, according to IRS guidelines. Some examples include buying a house or paying for medical expenses. Personal Loan from a Big Bank: Like Wachovia, Bank of America, etc…. I don’t recommend applying for this type of loan unless you have excellent credit because the inquiry will hurt your credit report if your loan application gets rejected. Big banks seldom grant loans to people with less than excellent credit Personal Loan from a Credit Union or Small to Medium Bank: Like the Money Store or Citifinancial, check your yellow pages under “loans”. This is not worth the effort if you have “bad credit” or “no credit”. Bring Your Soda Cans or Beer Cans to the Can Return: For those who get paid biweekly, every other Friday night may be called “Can and Coin Night” for the way it 160 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place • • • • • • • • • • • by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology is funded-with trips to the Coinstar and local packie (he, he). Bring your soda cans to your grocery store and your beer cans to the package store. Bring Your Loose Change to the Coinstar: There should be a Coinstar at your local grocery store. You bring your coins down, dump them in the little basket, slide them down the chute, listen to them sprinkle down, take your receipt, and cash it at the cash register. Or go to your bank to get coin wrappers so you can roll and exchange them. Borrow Money from Friends or Family Members: Only if you feel confident that it won’t interfere with the emotional score. Sometimes it’s not good to do business with blood. Go to RentaCenter: Or another rent-to-own store if you need money to buy furniture. This is only recommended if no other regular furniture store will give you financing because you end up paying more in the long run. If You are Really Desperate, Take Out a Paycheck Loan: Only if you have a secure job and don’t mind paying tons of fees from your following paycheck. This should be a last resort option and used only if your credit report is about to be impacted by your financial situation or your about to be evicted. Usually you just need a fax machine to receive and send back the application and copies of your paycheck stubs. Check your yellow pages under “loans”. Go Pawn Something at the Pawn Shop: Pawn shops usually deal in jewelry and electronics. Check your yellow pages under “pawn shops”. Don’t pawn something you will miss later. Temporarily Stop Your 401K Deductions: Only until you get on your financial feet again, otherwise you will just be ripping yourself off if your employer matches your contributions. Temporarily Change Your Tax Deductions: If you legally qualify for more allowances than you have elected. Usually people take the minimum allowance elections in order to get the biggest refund at tax time. But you could always change back after you get back on your feet or have a dollar amount taken out from each paycheck to go toward your taxes after you are back on your game to offset any problems the temporary adjustment may have caused. Check with your human resources department for more information. Build a website. If you don’t have years and years to read about how to build a high income generating website then visit Celebrity-Beauty-SecretGoldmine.com/about-us.html and you will learn how my mother and I learned to build our website step-by-step. Sell something on Ebay.com. You’d be surprised of the variety of stuff people are selling on there. Even used stuffed animals! The payment method Paypal deposits the money into your checking account instantly. You could literally take a picture of the item, register and make a sale within 24 hours when you are desperate. It is not hard to set up a sale at all. Bring a pile of clothes to your local consignment shop. Have a tag sale: Whatever doesn’t sell you can either sell on Ebay.com or give to charity. 161 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology No Roxanne, you don’t have to turn on the red light (he, he). No matter how desperate it gets, never do anything that you can’t feel good about morally or you will just carry around remorse which is counter to productivity and self-actualization. More Great Money Tips Avoid Scam Artists: There are people who want your money and will lie, cheat and steel to get it. Unfortunately, we have to live among these swine, but the good news is that you can protect your cash and yourself by keeping the following red flags in mind: When doing business by mail, be leery of suites and PO Boxes, they alert you that the company may not have a stable place to call home, a sign of week financial power, or worse- a need to run from trouble. Check the appearance of the envelope or package carefully. Remember that stick-on white mailing labels with your name and address on them can be purchased by anyone. These should alert you that your name is on some kind of consumer list. These lists can be purchased for a small fee by even the most small-time scam artists. I would even go as far as to recommend that any mail of this nature be discarded. Steer clear of inflated claims like, “Make hundreds each week by stuffing envelopes,” or “I made millions of dollars in two months and I’ll show you how.” Most of these ads want you to buy their products and then turn around and sell them to other people. This rarely works. The inevitable result? Their company profits, you do not. Chain letters and pyramid schemes are scams that only benefit a handful of people. Have you ever watched an infomercial introducing a new fitness gadget or diet program and wondered if it really worked? Did you wish there was a way you could tell if it was worth your money to try it? Next time, look for a very small message at the bottom of the screen. If the first sentence reads, “Results not typical”, then put away your wallet. Another thing to keep in mind: when considering buying a health product such as herbs or metabolizers, is that the claims made by the manufacturers of such products are not evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore you should spend less money on such products then you do on vitamins and minerals which are researched and therefore such claims can be considered valid (until proven otherwise). And yet another thing to remember: such claims are often refuted years later. For example: Pulitzer Prize winning scientist Linus Pauling advocated the use of mega doses of vitamins C and E for years. Just recently scientist learned that vitamins taken in quantities higher than what is recommended by the FDA can be toxic. So do your wallet and your health a favor and learn to be a savvy consumer. And help others avoid being victimized by putting scam artists out of business. If you’ve been scammed, spread the word by notifying the Better Business Bureau and Consumer Protection Agency (in your home state and the one in which the shady business is located). Also contact the Federal Trade Commission at (877)FTC-HELP or ftc.gov and your state attorney general’s office. When you file a complaint it will be entered into several databases which will help law-enforcement agencies end the fraudulent careers of unscrupulous companies. 162 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Be Entrepreneurial: You really can transform any idea or talent that you have into a business that can create great wealth. A good business is one that sells top-notch products or services that customers keep coming back to. A good business stays in business because of customers. The more you advertise, the more customers you have. These two keys to great business success- great products or services and massive advertising- are achieved through hard work. Therefore your potential for business success is directly proportional to the amount of hard work you are willing to invest into your business. The resources are already yours for the taking…your local library has free access to the internet and plenty of books on how to turn an idea or talent into a business. And not having startup funds is no longer an excuse. The internet is a tool that enables anyone to do business for free. You can publish and advertise on the internet, that’s right, for free. (More tips to come). Break your business plan into a step by step guide that you can accomplish day by day. Put your goals for the business on a time table. The experts say that you should invest a minimum of 2 hours a day to your business. Schedule chunks of time in your planner. With hard work and self-discipline, you can generate an amazing cash flow that will enable you to live the life of your dreams. Here are some other tips for creating your own business: • Become Your Own Boss: Got an idea for a service or product? The Small Business Administration is your best ally. Request a free business start-up kit or ask about their financial assistance programs by contacting them at (800)UASK-SBA or visit them online at Sba.gov. • Inquire at the Information Desk: Why don’t more people think of this? If you want help finding information, consult the friendly face behind the information desk at your local library. This person usually has a Masters degree, in a library related field, meaning that they are masters at finding information and will offer you their services free of charge. All you have to do is ask. • Quiz the Mob Online: Want some free advice? I’m not guaranteeing it will be great, but it’s free none the less. Online chat rooms, message boards and newsgroups are a great gathering place for people who like to give their two cents to whoever will take it. Need to know how to do something, where to get something? Chances are there is an online chat room, message board or newsgroup dedicated to your topic of interest. People are always posting tips and tricks so that others who share their hobbies or interests can benefit. America Online is very user friendly and provides great navigational tools for searching the vast sea of meeting places for the opinionated within the online community. • Get Free Advertising: The world wide web is a worthwhile place to advertise your product or service. Many server companies will host your site for free. Angelfire.com for example, will host your site free of cost and will also provide you with tools for building a decent web page, even if you do not know HTML (the language for building web pages). They make it easy. Once you build your web page, it’s up to you to promote it, however. Get your URL (website address) out there. 163 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place • by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Pay for Better Advertising: Sure you can find all kinds of free advertising on the web, but this is a forum with a limited audience. Perhaps you’d do better with other mediums. Your choices from cheapest to most expensive: Press Releases (the announcement of a new product sent to magazines and newspapers in the hopes that they will print it for free.) Newspaper classifieds, direct mail campaigns (you send a flier, brochure, etc… to addresses in a particular sample of the population, which you purchased from a mailing list broker-find these in your yellow pages under advertising), magazine ads, radio ads, billboards, television. 164 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part Two: Mind Chapter 15 How to Be More Confident, Sociable, and a Better Conversationalist If you want to be truly powerful, you need to be able to communicate confidently. If you want to really be able to have a broad range of opportunities in life, you should even become comfortable with public speaking. The following tips will help you cultivate strong social skills: Cultivate Confidence • Be Heard: Confident people realize that we are all created equal. Therefore we all have an equal right to express and assert ourselves. Trust your own senses, judgment, and power of observation. Use “I” statements often, such as, “I like this…” or “I feel like…” to better express your feelings. But on the flip side you have to be just as willing to listen. Always give the other person equal air time. Return everything in kind. Example: “How are you doing”. “Great. And yourself?” • Be Fearless: Do not obsess over rejection. It is a natural part of life, something that everyone, even celebrities and award-winners, have experienced and are always subject to. Feelings of inadequacy or hopelessness are inevitable, but work to learn from rejection and then put the self-defeating thoughts to rest. Just like worry, dwelling on rejection from your past does you no good. Often, reliving these experiences over and over again in your mind can be incapacitating. You are suddenly afraid to try anything new. Learn to stop taking rejection personally. How do you do this? Get used to it by trying, trying, and trying some more. Soon, you will be used to dealing with rejection which will give you the courage to try even more new things, and all that trying, trying, and trying will get you to your goals! Always remember that Kernel Sanders of KFC fame tried to sell his “eleven herbs and spices” chicken recipe over 2000 times before he finally had a taker! Roll up your sleeves for battle and fight your fear of rejection because it can literally scare you away from success! • Be Sharp: Be observant. When you are aware of your surroundings and the people around you, you are naturally more capable and in control. Obviously you will have fewer slips and falls if you take a mental note of all the objects in your vicinity. Obviously, you will come across as a better conversationalist if you are a very attentive listener. This tip seems so simple, but in reality, some times we need to be reminded to be observant, as our daydreams and constant inner-monologues provide tempting distractions. Sometimes, we walk through life with our minds on “autopilot”. But if we cultivate sharp observation skills we have an immediate mental and 165 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology physical advantage. As if this weren’t reason enough to “focus”, sharp observation skills also enhance your ability to learn and retain information. • Be Calm: Learn to prohibit yourself from worrying excessively. If something is bothering you, give yourself time to brainstorm for a solution to the problem and then decide to act on it. After you have decided on a plan of action it is time to let the worries go. Worry can lead to anxiety and anxiety attacks. An anxiety attack is characterized by feelings of “butterflies in the stomach”, increased heart rate, sweating excessively, and shallow breathing. Panic Attack 101 • Thinking positively will help calm an otherwise frazzled mind, and exercising for at least 30 minutes, 3 to 4 times a week will help condition your body to better tolerate the physical symptoms of anxiety, such as increased heart rate and blood pressure. • When you recognize feelings of anxiety, acknowledge that this is OK and will pass. Inhale deeply, from your diaphragm for a count of 2 and exhale for a count of 4. You can put your hand on your lower stomach and feel it rise and fall with every breath. • Relax your chest for proper, full breathing by dropping your shoulders. • Soothe yourself with comforting, positive thoughts. • If you can do something different and distracting, do so. • Use these steps and make them a routine. Soon your attacks may subside. (See also the Anxiety and Depression section of this book.) • If you experience panic attacks (severe anxiety attacks) help is available. Call 1-80064-Panic. This information hotline, sponsored by the National Institute of Mental Health will refer you to professional help in your area. Mind Games for Boosting Confidence: • Mentally Rehearse: Before a big event or challenge, picture yourself there doing what you need to do. It really does help you feel emotionally and mentally prepared. • Expand Your Horizons: Pushing your limits in other areas of your life will give you confidence to obtain your goal. Try an adventurous sport such as snowboarding or mountain biking, and writing a 100 page thesis will suddenly seem doable! • Use Your Mental Jukebox: Next time you need to psych yourself up with unshakable confidence…play a powerful song in your mind…maybe the theme from Star Wars or Rocky. Seriously! And to unwind and calm down, play a slower paced song in your head, maybe one that reminds you of summertime. 166 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place • by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Accessorize for Success: If you don’t have “lucky earrings” or a lucky sweater, bring something from a happy time. A seashell from your trip to Florida, in your pocket, will remind you that stretching your limits by challenging yourself can lead to rewarding fun! Communication Skills To communicate effectively and confidently there are a few tips to keep in mind. These communication tips will help you in your academic and career endeavors, when you go on interviews or give speeches. They will also help you in your social life. • Speak at a slower pace. A person who rushes through speaking sounds nervous. If you speak at a slower pace you will sound more capable and confident. • Lower your voice. A high-pitched voice sounds nervous. If you lower your tone you will sound more controlled. • Make eye contact. If you don’t look at your audience you will appear nervous or distracted. You can break the eye contact occasionally, but try to make eye contact for the majority of the time. Star Social Skills Back in the classic Hollywood days of Audrey, Bette and Marilyn, Hollywood was a veritable star factory that transformed the eager starlet into a “whole package” star. The up-and-comer would be made over to look better, walk better, talk better, and would have to practice her singing, dancing, and acting skills on an almost daily basis. In short she would learn to have “it all”- looks, talent, and in some cases, brains (although back then, unfortunately, in many cases it was “cute and sexy” to be ditzy…gag!!) A sparkling personality was also necessary so that the starlet could make her movie studio look good while talking to the press. Movie studios would prescribe regimens made up of the gems of the latest research on how to socially shine. Some of the research that has been timetested and proven follows: • Smile when you talk to people. • Laugh at jokes that you truly find funny. • End on a lifted vocal inflection at the end of the sentence if you want to appear very approachable. • Mix humor into the conversation whenever appropriate. • Try to use your co-conversationalist’s name during the conversation. • Realize that it’s rude to correct people’s grammar or vocabulary usage. • Show an enthusiasm and interest when people talk to you by paying closer attention. 167 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Try to detect the good qualities of every person you meet, it will help you to connect better and build a strong rapport. • When you genuinely agree or appreciate something someone says let them know. • Give compliments freely, but only genuine ones. • Be a good listener and you will be able to make more thoughtful contributions to the conversation. • Remember that you should never feel intimidated by anyone. No one is better than you are. You have the right to assert yourself and to be respected. • Express your true self. Don’t adhere to a bunch of strict guidelines about what you should and should not do and think. Phoniness is nothing to base a friendship on. • Lean closer to the person periodically. (Caution: Use your discretion with this one, as I can imagine it backfiring. Um…excuse you!) • Finally, communication experts constantly recommend that you go as far as to mimic your co-conversationalist’s posture, facial expressions and talking styles. The idea is that he or she will like you more because you will seem, well, familiar, even familial. I, however, am not going to recommend this. It just seems so, well, phony! Who wants to befriend a follower or copycat? Celebrity Publicist Tips Do you ever wish you had a publicist? Instead of calling into work and having to tell your supervisor you’ll be out sick, your publicist could do it for you. Your publicist would explain to your British Literature professor why you still haven’t finished The Canterbury Tales. Well, keep the following tips from real celebrity publicists and interview coaches in mind: Reintroduce the Brand: Is your public sick of you? Do you need to undergo image rehab? After Paris Hilton ended up in jail, a celebrity publicist described her plans for image rehabilitation as “reintroducing the brand”. The headlines screamed, “Paris Hilton to go from Sinner to Saint”. Maybe your current brand is just not working. Maybe you’re still holding onto the brand of “non-stop party girl” and haven’t been to work in a while. Maybe you’re still holding onto the brand of “lazy couch potato” and now your body is starting to ache and your sink is overflowing with dishes and the dishes in your dishwasher are dirty! Now you can’t find any plates or utensils to eat on! This is when it’s time to re-brand yourself. How do you do this? Make a list of all the things you do and say that are causing you problems. Then put parameters and regulations in place. For example, if you drink too often, confine it to once a month or quit all together. Switch to red wine because it’s the healthiest of drink choices. If you never get off the sofa, just force yourself off for a 20 minute walk outside. The motivation will follow. Make a list of all the dos and don’t of your new brand. Refer to the list daily (you may want to tape it on the inner cover of the pad you carry around, or carry it as a file on your Blackberry or PDA phone. 168 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Charm School Secrets: The VH1 show Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School is a guilty pleasure for many, and a frightening experience for others, but there are actually a few nuggets of wisdom you can take to the bank that were featured during the show, as the girls learned their charm school lessons. Kevin Frasier, an entertainment reporter, had some interviewing advice for the girls. As you read this advice, think of how it can apply to your own life. This advice is great if you have any “gossipy” folks in your life. These are the realworld equivalents of tabloid reporters. Kevin’s three tips were: • Stay on Message: Don’t let people to try to change the topic to one that is uncomfortable or awkward for you. For example, let’s say you did something scandalous. You don’t want the public to focus on this. So when the reporter asks why you were seen going to the store without underwear you say, “I am here for X reason and I would really rather look forward than backward”. • Don’t Take the Bate: Don’t let the reporter (or gossipy neighbor in our case) get you going, saying bad things about other people, or trick you into opening up cans of worms about things you don’t want to talk about. Just repeat how you would like to move forward in life. • Damage Control: If you’ve done something wrong, apologize, own your mistake, learn from it, and take steps to rectify the problem. Always be contrite and sincere when you apologize. Vow to be a better person tomorrow. And then stick with what you say! 169 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Job Interview Tips I have always enjoyed the challenge of a job interview. I think of it as an opportunity to express myself. I owe my successful job interviews of my past to the following tips: • Preparation: Prepare by going online and learning everything you can about the company, your position, and the technology or terminology used. Pro interview coaches say that this type of knowledge usually scores points. One of my personal tips was to make a list of phrases that I would actually use during the interview based on this knowledge and then study them the night before. Then I would mix those phrases among my verbal spontaneity when it made sense. It also makes sense to make a list of all the assets you will be bringing to the company, why you want this job, what you liked about your last job, what you didn’t like at your last job, etc... You know they will be asking those questions! • Remember: Don’t be chewing gum during the interview. Wear your hair in a professional manner, and dress the part. Show up on time. • Send a Thank You Note: This makes you look classy, mature, and professional. It’s also highly doubtful that a lazy or irresponsible person would put in the effort for this last step. Interviewers love the nice touch. It scores you bonus points and puts you back on the forefront of their minds. Countdown to your callback! How to Become a Better Conversationalist What is the secret to being sociable, outgoing and always having something to say? Why do some people always seem to have something intelligent or witty to say? Well, often times it is a blessing to have such a personality. But there is a way that you can develop such a personality for yourself if you are not naturally gifted in this arena. It is a threepart secret. You must first get your mind thinking faster and better. When you think faster you think of witty responses quicker. Many people are amused by and admire a quick, sharp wit. When you think better you think of things to talk about easier. This will help you to make deeper connections with people by keeping the conversation going. But you must practice these secrets in order to truly improve your conversational skills. Follow this advice and you may be amazed at the changes in your social life! Think Faster: To think faster, your brain needs more oxygen and nutrients. To get more oxygen and nutrients into your brain, eat a balanced diet, take a multivitamin, drink 6 to 8 glasses of water a day and do aerobic exercise for a minimum of 20 minutes a day, three times a week. Sure, sure, you have heard this all before. Remember, I called it the Power Program? But this commitment to your health will not only help you look better, feel better, stay slim, and be healthier, but it will help you with your academic endeavors and your social life too. 170 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Think Better: To think better you first need to improve your attention span and concentration which you learned how to do in an earlier chapter. Once you have done this you will be able to read more books. Read a diverse variety of topics. This way you will be able to add your opinions, knowledge and insight to more topics of conversation. Reading most definitely increases your thinking capacity and adds more ideas to your mind. Once you have a large variety of ideas floating around in your mind, put them to paper by keeping a journal. Keeping a journal, as mentioned earlier is one of the greatest things you can do for your emotional well-being, creativity, and your social life. Journaling makes sense of all these ideas that float around in your head. By physically writing your ideas and feelings down on paper, you are emphasizing them in your mind and making them more accessible to your memory, and therefore your conversations. So it makes sense to write things you want to remember down in your journal. Maybe you learned a new vocabulary word, thought of a new idea, heard a witty saying, or saw something hysterical happen. Write all these things in your journal and review them regularly. You will be imprinting all this information in your mind and will have more to talk about. Most of the famous people in history have kept journals. Why not you? Be Educated: Be sure to check out, the earlier section How to Get an Ivy League Level Self-Education to be able to converse with the best of them! 171 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part Three: Spirit Chapter 16 How to Have an Exciting, Inspiring Life Watch Your Own Personal TV Station Ahh, YouTube.com- my own personal time machine of pop culture treasures. On this extremely addictive website you can find almost everything you’ve ever seen on television or in the movies. Do you love those Geico caveman commercials? They are there! Do you want to watch Clint Eastwood say, “Go ahead. Make my day!” You can. You can find music videos or concert footage of all your favorite music groups. Just type some key words into the search engine and presto! It’s like a virtual pop cultural treasure chest. It’s even got video from the beginning of film. You can see flapper girls from the 1920s, gangster footage from the 1930s, goofy public service films from the 1950s, hippies grooving at Woodstock in the 1960s, all the way up through now! Besides Disney World’s Spaceship Earth or Carousel of Progress at Epcot Center and the Magic Kingdom, respectively, YouTube.com is the closest I could find to a time machine. I am a huge sixties and seventies music fan. If you also love this time in music, here are some videos I have enjoyed immensely. Just type the key word string as it appears below into the search engine (no need for commas): • James Gang Walk Away • The Music Machine Talk Talk • Status Quo Matchstick Men • Lynyrd Skynyrd Free Bird • The Who See Me Feel Me • Thin Lizzy Jail Break • Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock 172 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Become a Music Collector I am a huge fan of music. I feel like life takes inspiration to stay happy and music is a great form of inspiration and excitement and a great daydream catalyst. It is also therapeutic as different songs are ideal for listening to at different times. I definitely think an Ipod is a worthy investment. This way you can have music with you at all times. It’s kind of like a soundtrack for your life. Hey, you are a real life movie star, right?! It is so much fun to search for songs that you love, or to wrack your brains for songs you haven’t heard in ages which bring back great memories and look them up online to download on services such as Apple.com/itunes, Napster.com, MyMusic.com, etc... Music is also very good for escapism. Some of my favorite songs that are worth finding and downloading are below: (Of course, everyone’s taste is different, but I find that I especially like songs that have very creative or exciting melodies): • .38 Special, Hold On Loosely: Great driving song with an old school southern rock feel. • 10CC, I’m Not in Love: Lyrics about a guy in major love denial. The cool part of this song is the melancholic ambience it creates. Imagine if Pink Floyd did soft rock (I heard this analogy from a commentator on a VH1 show called, The 40 Most Softsational Soft Rock Songs, but it is oh so accurate). • Bad Finger, Day After Day: I always really liked this melody. Good song for daydreaming about your latest crush. • Bad Finger, No Matter What: Another great melody by a band signed by the Beatles! It’s got a lot of descending, minor key sounds in the middle which are really catchy. • The Beatles, Cry Baby Cry: A song that creates a spooky and sad mood at the same time. A very interesting melody with “dark fairy tale” lyrics about séances in the dark and unpunctual nobles. • The Beatles, Happiness is a Warm Gun: This song starts out with an awesome, spooky, minor keyed vibe, then gets smart alecky. • Bill Withers, Lovely Day: This is a song to listen to when it’s a beautiful day outside and you’re appreciating the people in your life. Or maybe you just won $3 on a scratch off. • Billy Holiday, What’s New: A sad song about missing a lost love sang by the incomparable Ms. Holiday! Great to entertain bittersweet memories to. • Bjork, Come to Me: A very seductive song and melody. ‘Nuff said. • Bjork, The Anchor Song: A great inspirational song to listen to if you vacation or live by the ocean. 173 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Blood, Sweat and Tears, Spinning Wheel: Great song to listen to when your life spins out of control (ha, ha, get it?). It’s a song about gambling addiction but it is a musical metaphor for any type of excess. Loud, bombastic, catchy horns will wake you right up! • Brad, Buttercup: This flowing slow song from some of the members of Pearl Jam, has a beautiful, surreal, lovey-dovey melody. • The Brothers Johnson, Strawberry Letter 23: This is a great song to listen to if you haven’t seen Jackie Brown in a while and miss that old school seventies soul vibe. At the middle of the song is this really awesome, catchy melody. So stick around for the middle! • The Byrds, Eight Miles High: Surreal sounding sixties flower child vibe done a little on the dark side. Is this a song about aviation? You be the judge. • Carly Simon, That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard it Should Be: This song’s melody is downright spooky in parts. At least it was to me as an elementary school kid who used to listen to the radio at night. This is a great song to listen to when you just broke up with a guy who drove you nuts as it’s a little sarcastic. • Carol King, It’s too Late: This is one of the most melancholy songs you’ll ever hear about a relationship gone sour. This is a good song to play around your guy if you are planning on giving him the old “heave ho” (pirate speak for “dump him” (he, he). Keel haul that boy! Arrrggghhh! • Cheap Trick, I Want You to Want Me: Great song to listen to while getting ready for a date- ha ha. Especially the lyrics about putting on your brand new shirt (remember to cut the tag off). • Chicago, Colour My World: I remember screaming out in pain, sitting at the edge of my bed with a horrible stomach ache at eleven years old, when this soothing song came on and calmed me and the pain right down. • Chicago, Saturday in the Park: A feel good seventies song for the summertime, parades, or for any real Saturday in the park, of course. Awesome piano and horn arrangement. • Chicago, Wishing You Were Here: Another song I discovered as a child listening to the radio late at night that I used to find spooky, in a good way. I remember hearing it play in our house and my grandmother said, “Ooh spooky. Sounds like there are ghosts singing in the back ground.” She was so silly! • Chris Montez, Call Me: If you’d like to take a time machine back to the innocent days of yesterday, take a trip to a simpler time with this “boss” song with an interesting, catchy melody. 174 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Chris Rea, Fool if You Think it’s Over: This song reminds me of my “teenage problems”. It reminds me about how I used to crush really hard on certain guys and ball hysterically when the relationship ended. I used to think it was the end of my world if the guy I liked broke it off with me- when I was only seventeen and had the rest of my life in front of me! The girl in this song is apparently the same kind of chick (he, he). She even dressed in black to morn her dead relationships (guilty as charged). What teenage drama queens we all used to be! • Classics IV, Spooky: As a kid with an overactive imagination and radio, I would pretend that I was the girl in this song, a strange, mysterious, spooky type of gal. • Classics IV, Stormy: As a kid I would pretend that I was the girl in this song, a stormy, temperamental, high maintenance diva. • Classics IV, Traces: This song is great if you just want to revel in memories of your past relationships because you enjoy the whole “bittersweet thing”. I dare you to listen to it while you look through your scrap books. Watch those tears, they’ll smudge the ticket stubs. Warning: sentimental types only. • Cream, Badge: A melodic melancholy but rocking song. Goes well with certain driving scenery. • David Bowie, Cracked Actor: A deliciously dark, rebellious rock song with an awesome melody. • David Bowie, Letter to Hermione: A sad but true song David Bowie wrote after breaking up with the first “love of his life” Hermione. A good pillowsoaking post break up song. It has a beautiful, intricate, interesting melody. • David Bowie, Moonage Daydream: This is a bliss-inducing, electric, mindaltering, celestial rock song. • David Bowie, Soul Love: Lilting, lush, gorgeous melodies mingle with romantique noir imagery. Sample lyric: “Inspirations have I none, just to touch the flaming dove”. • David Bowie, Space Oddity: Another song David Bowie wrote after breaking up with Hermione. He felt adrift, like Major Tom in the song. This song was also influenced by the movie, 2001: A Space Odyssey. When I bought the album I remember pressing the headphones into my ears because it sounded so awesome. • David Bowie, Ziggy Stardust: A rock anthem about a fictional rock god named Ziggy Stardust, who came down from Mars to entertain and enthrall the human race. I suggest buying the whole Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from 175 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Mars album. This is one you can listen to straight through without getting bored. As a matter of fact, your mind will probably be blown! Be prepared to take on a new obsession. • Dinosaur Jr., Thumb: Interesting, pied piper melody. • Donovan, Wear Your Love Like Heaven: This mysterious, enchanting, flower child song, has a very heavenly vibe. It gained a whole new following when it was featured on a psychedelic episode of The Simpsons. • Donna Summer, Fairy Tale High: I used to love this song at four years old. Its melody evokes a dark fairy tale mood. Dark fairy tale mood? What’s that you ask? Just imagine Hansel and Gretel walking through the dark woods or Sleeping Beauty being lured by the glowing spinning wheel prick. Of course this is the disco version of that vibe. • Donna Summer, Queen for a Day: A song for a day of self-indulgence or spalike pampering. • Doobie Brothers, Another Park Another Sunday: A fresh-aired classic rock vibe. • Earth, Wind & Fire, After the Love is Gone: Reminds me of Venus Flytrap staying up late turning tables at WKRP in Cincinnati. Love the soulful seventies! • Earth, Wind & Fire, September: For when you just have to get happy in a hurry. Take this no-fail sonic elixir. • Edgar Winter, Free Ride: Reminds me of the kids from the seventies-themed flick Dazed and Confused going out on the town. Cruising through Top Burger, zippering tight pants with hangers, running away from the dad who opens the door to what was supposed to be the party of the century. Busted! Party at the moon tower! • Electric Light Orchestra, Can’t Get it out of My Head: I love the celestial seventies sounds of ELO. A song for crushing on someone or some night. • Electric Light Orchestra, Strange Magic: A good song to listen to if you’d like to take your fantasy person through a blissful daydream! • Elton John, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road: Awesome melancholy tale of going back home after a trip to oz that wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. • Elton John, Rocket Man: Awesome, piano, melody and lyrics. • Elton John, Someone Saved My Life Tonight: Spooky song about a dangerous seduction. 176 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Eric Clapton, Let it Rain: Gorgeous melodic rock song. Listen to it on a gray, rainy day while looking out the window and you will suddenly feel happy. • Eric Clapton, The Core: Good mood-inducing, seventies rock song. • Faith and the Muse, Sparks: Deliciously seductive lyrics and melody. Play after a night of fantasy. A little gothic, a lot of enchantment! • Farewood, King John: An awesome dark, spooky, ambient song about a peace and love soul lost in the cynical modern world. This is another video to check out on YouTube.com. • Fat Boy Slim, Praise You: It is virtually impossible to sustain a bad mood while listening to this happy little number. • Feist, One Evening: Awesome seductive vibe. • Fiona Apple, O’ Sailor: Sullen, somber and confectionary at the same time. • Gerry Rafferty, Baker Street: Most catchy saxophone-laced seventies song ever. Is this a song about an impending midlife crisis? You be the judge. • Ginger Rogers, We’re in the Money: The best song to listen to ever recorded for when you are working on a get-rich project! A retro depression era 1930s vibe. • Gnarls Barkley, Crazy: A great song for when you are feeling a little crazy-sad. • Gnarls Barkley, Smiling Faces: Soulful sound, great beats. (Check this one out on YouTube for the video which is a cornucopia of pop culture treasures). • Gordon Lightfoot, If You Could Read My Mind: A spooky but beautiful seventies love song. Reminds me of doomed lovers locked in a haunted house or a V.C. Andrew’s book. • Gordon Lightfoot, Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald: Great for daydreams by the ocean or while sailing on a ship (only if the lyrics don’t scare you as they are about a ship wreck). Conjures up images of old sea captains and light houses. • Grass Roots, Temptation Eyes: A song to listen to you while daydreaming about your latest crush. • The Guess Who, No Time: Hands down, the best, most rockin’ Get Over Him Breakup Song ever! And belted out with a no-holds-barred verbal assault! • The Guess Who, Undun: A song about a girl who’s done bad things. As a teenager I used to pretend I was the girl in the song when I was in trouble. 177 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Hall and Oates, I Can’t Go For That: One of the most sampled riffs ever and for good reason! One of the catchiest hooks ever to be in a pop song. • Hall and Oates, Kiss on My List: As someone once said, not may Ipods are without Hall and Oates. They sure had some catchy 80’s pop tunes. • Hall and Oates, Private Eyes: My favorite song in first grade. They used to play this catchy dark pop song at the roller rink. Friday was my favorite day of the week because it was pizza day, gym class day, and roller rink day! Come to think of it, the roller rink was the night club of my six year old existence! • Ides of March, Vehicle: Loud bombastic song with a fierce melody! The singer rips! • Iggy Pop, Funtime: A catchy rebellious song written by David Bowie. • Jackson 5, Never Can Say Goodbye: This song just has such a seventies city vibe. A pretty yet groovy melody with lyrics about breakup gloom. • The James Gang, Walk Away: An outlaw rock vibe with an awesome minor keyed catchiness. Joe Walsh belts out the lyrics about an indifferent snobby girl. • Jay Ferguson, Thunder Island: This song will make you feel like you are on vacation on a tropical island by the ocean sipping margaritas. A perfect song for pirates, parrot heads and other assorted tropical island enthusiasts! • Jefferson Airplane, White Rabbit: This song is a wrinkle in time that will take you back to the late sixties Flower Child scene. Alice in Psychedelia. Oh my! • Jefferson Starship, Miracles: A very seductive melody. • Jefferson Starship, With Your Love: A seductive melody to listen to when you are fascinated with someone. • Jill Scott, Golden: A good song to listen to when you need a confidence boost. • Joe Jackson, Breaking Us in Two: I love the melancholy of this catchy song about relationship whoahs. • Joe Jackson, Steppin Out: My favorite song in second grade. Awesome fun and catchy melody. As a child I thought this song went perfectly for riding in the car at night while admiring all the neon lights and people as my mother drove through the city. (Check this out on YouTube.com too!) • John Legend, Ordinary People: A song to listen to when you need some relationship therapy. Awesome piano melody. 178 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Johnny Nash, I Can See Clearly Now: Another song that reminds me of a tropical vacation! They played this at the Banana Cabana poolside bar at the Caribbean Beach Resort in Walt Disney World! Now whenever I hear it I am instantly transported. This is a great song for a “commuting to work survival CD”. It will take you right out of your Monday blues and put you back on vacation. Well, for two or three minutes anyway. • Joni Mitchell, Help Me: A very Flower Child melody. Good for daydreams concerning a new crush. • Journey, The Girl Can’t Help It: Another darn catchy pop song from the eighties! • Kansas, Dust in the Wind: Spooky, stormy vibe. Some say it is the saddest song ever written. A great song to listen to when you want to remember that life is fleeting (he,he). Oh and what an awesome solo for “air violinists”. • Led Zeppelin, Ten Years Gone: One of my favorite melodies of all time, especially in the middle! I used to love to listen to this song while looking out of my purple sunglasses at purple trees (I am an odd one- but I love a great multisensory experience). • Lester Flat and Earl Scruggs, Foggy Mountain Breakdown: This is the theme from one of my all time favorite movies, Bonnie and Clyde. This is a great song for when you are imagining that you are on the run in the 1930s (Are you snickering at me? What, you don’t have blue-grass inspired retro daydreams? Man, I am just full of eccentricity!) So be ready to use your mattress as a shield because the laws are outside! • Lou Cristie, Lightening Strikes: This song reminds me of the early sixties. It just transports you back there. It is a song about a guy some would call a jerk. • Loving Spoonful, Summer in the City: I remember hearing this for the first time as a passenger in my parent’s car on a hot summer night which provided the perfect ambience. Those loud “bangs” in the beginning are the sounds of someone from the band dropping heavy objects on their apartment stairwell. • Lush, Deluxe: Ethereal sounds. • Lush, Ethereal: Sonic candy. • Lush, Superblast; An ethereal, surreal supernova of sound. • Luscious Jackson, City Song: What a catchy moody groove. 179 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Luscious Jackson, Life of Leisure: Another catchy, groovy song, but this one’s about a lazy person. It may get you off your duff and doing something in a hurry. • Luscious Jackson, Under Your Skin: A cool, laid back melody and beat. • Lynyrd Skynyrd, Comin’ Home: Southern rock traveling or partying song. • Lynyrd Skynyrd, Free Bird: The one song that no juke box patron ever gets sick of. From an addictive, bitter-sweet slow part, to a loud and proud, blaring rock anthem, this southern rock song’s got it all. • Marvin Gay, Inner City Blues: Seventies urban vibe. Slick, cool, seductive. • Michael Jackson, Rock with You: Super-catchy and danceable. A getting ready to go out song. • Michael Jackson, Human Nature: There’s just something about this ambient melody. • Moody Blues, Nights in White Satin: Beautifully spooky, classic love song. Paints a vivid portrait of looking back at youth and the past. The background singers sounded like howling ghosts to my child ears. This is another one to look up on YouTube.com. When I saw this video I understood why my mother had a huge crush on the singer. Plus it has a romantic Parisian theme. • The Music Machine, Talk Talk: Deliciously dark sixties’ punk rock. This is the best song to listen to when you have experienced social humiliation and are feeling jaded or cynical. This is another one for YouTube.com. I love the mop tops, the black clothes and the one glove look. These guys were way ahead of their time! • Neil Young, Cinnamon Girl: Blissful song about a dream girl. Another one that I used to pretend I was the girl in the lyrics to. • Neil Young, Cowgirl in the Sand: Awesome melancholy, dark, dark melody. • Neil Young, Down by the River: Awesome melody and dark, dark lyrics. • Neil Young, I am a Child: A beautiful song about the beauty of childhood and the wonder that only the young or young at heart have. • Neil Young, Old Man: A beautiful song about similarities that carry on among kindred souls throughout the generations. • Neil Young, Sugar Mountain: A beautiful, haunting song about having to leave childhood behind. 180 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Neil Young, When You Dance I Can Really Love: Enchanting, tranceinducing song about love (or is that infatuation?) • New Radicals, You Get What You Give: A good song for post 9/11 life. Its positive, anti-end-of-the-world lyrics will cheer you up when the terror alert changes color. • Nirvana, On a Plain: Aggressive, cathartic melody. Lyrics are great to listen to when you are mad at your boyfriend and realize that he’s not all that high on your list of priorities (he,he). • Nora Jones, Thinking About You: I really like this retro-sounding melody. • The Outlaws: Green Grass & High Tides: A fast and furious southern fried ditty. Another awesome car ride song. • Ozark Mountain Daredevils, Jackie Blue: A seventies doomy-pop song about a girl who feels a very strong sense of entitlement. She’s gonna get it! • Peter Frampton, Do You Feel Like We Do: The seventies party song of all time. A great song for honeymooning in the hot tub as evidenced by those people at this Holiday Inn I stayed at that wouldn’t get out of the Jacuzzi. They played this song over and over as they soaked. And I thought I got obsessed with things. Warning: Don’t stay in a hot tub for more than about 5 to 10 minutes at a time or you could faint or die, no matter how many times you can loop Frampton Comes Alive on your portable stereo. • Pink Floyd, Goodbye Blue Sky: A scary yet beautiful song about leaving the innocence and naivety of childhood behind. This one is required viewing on YouTube.com. The visuals from the video clip of this song from the movie The Wall are going to blow your mind! You are going to love this one, unless you are easily susceptible to nightmares. • Pink Floyd, One of My Turns: Awesome melody and lyrics for getting your aggressions out. Watch this one on YouTube.com. As Pink trashes his hotel room, I imagine I am taking out my aggressions on the fax machines and computers that don’t work at my job. (Yes, I am a big Office Space fan). For that matter, download, I Hate Mondays, by the Boom Town Rats (the guy who plays Pink (Bob Geldoff’s) band. • Pink Floyd, The Great Gig in the Sky: This melody and vocal is downright beautifully spooky, gloomy and stormy. Check out this song synced up with the hurricane in The Wizard of Oz movie. You can see the Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon album synced with The Wizard of Oz clip on YouTube.com. The hurricane is my favorite part. I love the parts when you hear the old man’s voice talk about death and when the witch and others are flying by Dorothy’s bedroom window. Don’t show this to little kids. They won’t go to sleep for months! 181 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • The Police, Every Little Thing She Does is Magic: Awesome, good mood melody. Great confidence boosting song for the morning commute or for when you are on your way to a job interview! • The Raspberries, Go All the Way: So seventies, so seductive! • Roberta Flack, Killing Me Softly with His Song; A mournful, beautiful song about emotional, artistic vulnerability. Man, am I emotionally and artistically vulnerable after telling you about all these strange, eccentricities of my young mind (he,he). • The Rolling Stones, Mother’s Little Helper: When you are feeling frazzled on a work break you listen to this as you imagine the protagonist popping her pep pill (of the legal, caffeine variety of course, that’s what they are talking about right?). Warning: Too much caffeine can cause anxiety and it is possible to abuse and overdose on caffeine pills. I once saw a show like 20/20 or 48 Hours where a girl died from abusing caffeine pills. Don’t do more than one to two cups of coffees’ worth of caffeine in a day! Go easy on the Red Bulls too! • The Rolling Stones, Ruby Tuesday: A song about a girl who refuses to give up her personal freedom even though she’s a girl. • Rush, Fly By Night: I love this melody. Intricate melodic layers and drumming are featured in this rock song. • Rush, Free Will: Another awesome, hard driving rock melody with a really cool, laid back riff that I love, interspersed. • Rush, Spirit of the Radio: An amazing melody that builds and builds and builds up to a sonic candy explosion. • Seals and Crofts, Summer Breeze: Wind chimes and seventies Flower Child vibes. • The Smashing Pumpkins, Cherub Rock: Awesome catchy, crunchy rock melody. Surreal vocal arrangements. • The Smashing Pumpkins, Rhinocerous: Starts out slow, surreal, soft and seductive and then screams out into a sensual, sonic explosion. • Spirit, Taurus: Does this riff sound familiar, Stairway to Heaven fans? Led Zep guitarist Jimmy Page was apparently influenced by this little known, favorite band of critics and rock enthusiasts. • Spirit, Nature’s Way: Great song for a moonlit night of pondering the universe. 182 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Status Quo, Pictures of Matchstick Men: Psychedelic baby! Some say this is the most psychedelic song ever written. Mind altering, time traveling fun. Enjoy this bliss-inducing song sung by mod lads with Carnaby street clothes. • Steely Dan, Black Cow: Love the sound of this! Awesome beat. This is a song about a drunk girlfriend. But it is also a great song to play when a boyfriend misbehaves. • Steely Dan, Deacon Blues: Awesome jazzy, bluesy melody. Song about wanting to be young and free forever. Jadedness and rebellion abound. • Steely Dan, Peg: Catchy song about a blue movie star. If this doesn’t get you moving nothing will. • Stereolab, Rainbow Conversation: Bewitching, ambient melody. Another one of those songs where you have to stick around for the middle part as that melody is amazing. • Stevie Wonder, My Cherie Amour: The ultimate song for a cloud level crush. • Sufjan Stevens, Jacksonville: Love this melody. I can’t even put this music into a niche it is so interesting. Lyrics about a town with a lot of character. • Sufjan Stevens, Holland: Beautiful, dreamy, ambient. • The Spinners, It’s a Shame: Dark soul music about a bad girl. Old school vibe. • The Temptations, Papa was a Rolling Stone: Sinister sounds. Soulful lyrics. Awesome base line. • Three Dog Night, Out in the Country: Listen to this when you want to escape to fresh air and sanity. • Todd Rungren, Hello it’s Me: One of my fave seventies melodies. Awesome melancholy song from a well-meaning ex. • Wolfmother, White Unicorn: This rocks hard. The old school rock sensibility is back. • The Who, See Me Feel Me- Rocking sixties anthem with an amazing melody. If this song doesn’t give you a “musical high” nothing will. • The Who, I Can See for Miles- Cool melody with unexpected psychedelic twist coupled with optimistic lyrics. 183 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Van Halen, Secrets- Catchy melody and lyrics about a girl who has major mojo. When you need a confidence boost, listen to it and pretend it’s about you (he, he.) • Van Halen, Little Guitars- Cool driving song. Starts out with a beautiful guitar melody and then starts rockin’. • Verve, Bittersweet Simphony: Beautiful melody and lyrics that ring true. “Trying to make ends meet, you’re a slave to money than you die.” • Yes, Starship Trooper: Oh how I love the collection of melodies in this song! • Yes, Hold On: A great catchy tune. How to Add Inspiration and Excitement to Your Life • Be an Adventuress: Who ever decided what was a “girl thing” and what was a “guy thing”? Don’t some of these unwritten rules seem rather arbitrary? Who decided that it was offensive for men to carry purses? Why are men denied this portable convenience? How is hauling this “carry all” any more feminine than carting, let’s say, a suitcase? The purpose for this rule is lost on me. Don’t let nonsensical unwritten rules prevent you from doing anything that intrigues you. Parachute out of a plane, climb a tree, surf the Pacific, whatever you want. Be the adventuress who resides at the inner core of your soul. Indulge your lust for life. Don’t let people fool you into thinking that adventure is a guy’s privilege. You are just as entitled to experience the thrill of adrenaline. Just be conscious of safety and enjoy the ride! • Live the Dream: This year I went to Disney World and stood in a roller coaster line behind a guy with a T-shirt which read, “Attack life. It’s going to kill you anyway.” A more subtle, less visceral way to word this idea is, “Chase life. Go after what you really want…what you dream about”. Live your dreams and you won’t be able to stay depressed for long. When you are doing…something…anything…you are happier than if you were engaging in passive activities, like lying on the couch watching television. So fight the urge to stay idle. Pick up a book, a pen, a Frisbee, or a metal detector. Just live. Feel alive. Challenge yourself. Go for the gold, but for the right reasons. Do not misconstrue this call for bravery as support for a lifestyle lived only in the fast lane. Balance is key. Think yin and yang. Relaxation and revitalization are also integrated into healthy living. Design a goal path and fight to stay on track. Check up on emotional and physical issues with priority status so you are always in peak condition. You will ensure your best performance. So basically, decide to live life to a maximized degree and then follow through with the preparation and practice that it takes to allow your dream to come to fruition. If you would like instruction on how to live life to its greatest potential, book a retreat at 184 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology the Option Institute, located in the enchanting Berkshires in Massachusetts. Visit Optioninstitute.com for more information. • Meet Anne of Green Gables: The most inspiring character in fiction of all time for me is Anne of Green Gables. Anne had such a vast, vivid imagination. Everything in the world was so exciting and fascinating in Anne’s mind because she chose to make it that way. She enhanced her real life experiences with her colorful thoughts and romantic daydreams. She loved to stroll in the spooky forest while reading her favorite spooky poem so she could experience raw emotional intensity. Anne loved education. She thought of knowledge as little treasures that she could collect. Take a cue from Anne and choose to make your life fascinating. It all starts with your imagination. • Keep Going Strong: As we just discussed, the ideal lifestyle is one in which you are doing, being, making use of your many gifts, talents, blessings. Explore, create and be free. Fight laziness. After all, it doesn’t help you at all. It is the total opposite of the self-discipline that will not only allow you to achieve your goals but will provide you with more everyday enjoyment. As Benjamin Franklin said, “There is time enough for sleep in the grave”. Get your 8 to 10 hours of sleep, but don’t stay in bed all day watching television. You can do this once in a while, but don’t make this a lifestyle…or it will always be your lifestyle. For motivation check out Verb.com. • Tune in to the Thunder: Next time a thunderstorm heads your way, turn off all the lights and noise in the house and be attentive. Nature’s powerful spectacle will leave you breathless, shaken and naturally high! • Jump in the Pool: The next time you prepare to go swimming, please do not lower yourself inch by inch down a ladder, like a land lubber. How sedate, how boring. Just jump in! Seriously! In an instant, you completely change your physical (“this is a little on the cool side”) and mental (“did I really just do that?”) state. You need to shake up your status quo as often as possible and this is a great way to do it, not to mention the fact that it is a very efficient way to get in the pool! • Indulge Your Wanderlust: A couple of summers ago I moved right in the middle of Beverly and Salem Massachusetts. These small, quaint seaside towns basically cast a spell on me. There was a park on a hill where the sky and sea were always the same shade of robin’s egg blue. At the park was a gazebo housing a mural depicting Greek mythology, and a swing overlooking the ocean on which I would sit until sunset, watching the sailboats and the twinkling lights of the seaside village. There were Victorian and Edwardian mansions, a historic movie theatre, gorgeous cathedrals with intricate stained glass windows, colonial buildings with mansard roofs, Irish pubs, whimsical gift shops, and many other interesting sights that basically enchanted and enthralled me. I was so in love with my new towns that I would walk all day long… to the gorgeous, stately library and then to the ocean, and then to the park. Or I would explore, walking along bridges or through side streets, all the while entertaining daydreams inspired by a dimly lit room behind a window here, or an historic cemetery there. I found that my novel wrote itself effortlessly 185 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology while I lived between these two towns. But then, two months later, I had to suddenly move back to my original location and leave this inspiring area. I realize now that I never felt so alive, enraptured, or energized then when I was indulging my wanderlust. • Explore the Supernatural: Are you like me- fascinated by ghost stories, haunted houses, and tales of life on the other side? Do you feel a surreal feeling when visiting an old cemetery? Sometimes we are curious about the supernatural for confirmation of beliefs not cemented in our day-to-day logic, other times we explore for the thrill and adventure of a fright fest. For you to explore, if you dare: Salem Massachusetts (brimming with history of the infamous Salem Witch Trials of 1692, in which local girls accused town’s people of witchcraft), Hubbard Park in Meriden CT (home of the legendary Black Dog, a ghost dog that roams the castle-topped mountain called West Peak), The Warrens (ghost hunters who do lectures; visit the Warrens.com), Haunted History on the History Channel, the Haunted Mansion in Disney World (for child-friendly scares), historic London, England and Prague, Czechoslovakia (arguably the most haunted places on earth). 186 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Walt Disney World I remember entering the Magic Kingdom for the first time at 6 years old and my jaw just dropped. It was the most beautiful, interesting place I had ever seen as a child. And I still feel the same way as an adult. I love the Victorian buildings on Maine Street and how the staff are dressed in period clothing. I love walking from store to store inside to keep cool and admiring all the beautiful items for sale, from the glittering jewel covered castles to the intricate designs on the candy. I love exploring every nook and cranny, every detail, as so much effort goes into everything. There are little Mickeys hidden everywhere, beautiful architecture, and music in the air. I love to marvel at the foot of Cinderella’s majestic castle when it has a backdrop of fireworks. I like trying all the interesting food and drinks, like the Pineapple Float I got at the Dole stand. I love Epcot Center, because it is a futuristic world and a trip around our world at once. I love the water parks, the resorts, everything! If you’ve never been, you must go! Here are my favorite things: • • • • • • The Haunted Mansion: This is a big, spooky Victorian mansion brimming with spirits. I love the way the staff are dressed, like funeral parlor workers. I love looking at the paintings in the stretching room. I love the ghostly ball room dancers, I love the spooky music, I love reading the tombstones out front, and I love how the eyes in the portraits follow you as you pass by. Beware of hitchhiking ghosts! I definitely recommend going after dark, it is more ambient that way! Location: Magic Kingdom. Pirates of the Caribbean: Being the history buff that I am, I love visiting different periods in history. This ride will take you back to the 18th century, when pirates roamed the oceans with impunity. I love the mini waterfall drop, I love the cannon fighting, I love the burning buildings, and I love what Jack Sparrow says at the end, as he rocks contentedly on his chair, crown on head, admiring his treasure. Location: Magic Kingdom. It’s a Small World: Yes, I am guilty of loving the singing dolls on this ride, all 5 million of them. I used to love to pretend that all the dolls were mine when I was little, or that I looked like this doll, or that doll. Location: Magic Kingdom. The Three Mountains: No “thrillist” can go to Disney World and skip one of the three mountain rides, Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain, or Splash Mountain. Space Mountain is an exciting rocket roller coaster in the dark, Thunder Mountain is a rollicking, rocky ride through a mountain on a runaway train, and Splash Mountain is a great way to cool off on a hot day as your log drops down the steep mountain slide into a gigantic, refreshing splash. There is also a great view on top of this mountain! Location: Magic Kingdom. Tomorrowland Transit Authority: This ride is a tour of tomorrow land. It takes you at a nice pace through Space Mountain, if you want to see what it’s like before you board. This ride is also great if you are hot and tired and want to get off your feet without waiting in line, as you can usually get right on and it offers you a nice breeze! Location: Magic Kingdom. Carousel of Progress: Because I love history, I love this short show which is pretty much like boarding a time machine. The theatre literally spins around the 187 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place • • • • • • by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology stage as you visit different eras…the turn of the 20th century, the 1920s, the 1930s, the 1940s, and even the world of the future. This attraction was one of Walt Disney’s personal favorites! Location: Magic Kingdom. Spaceship Earth: This is the gigantic golf ball-looking attraction in Epcot Center. This ride is a dream come true for a history buff like me. It takes you from the caveman days, to the Egyptian era, the Phoenician era, the Greek era, and the Roman Empire. When the Roman Empire falls, you smell the burning remnants of the world left behind. You then travel through the Dark Ages, the Medieval Ages, the Renaissance, the Victorian era, and then through the communication era. Your tram is going higher and higher and when you get to the top of the attraction, you are floating in outer space, glimpsing the future. This ride is awesome for aspiring time travelers! Location: Epcot Center. Journey into Imagination: This ride celebrates my favorite thing, imagination! It features an adorable character named Figment. Check out the futuristic activities just outside the ride. World Showcase: At Epcot, you can visit mini versions of the countries that fascinate you, like France, China, Mexico, Norway, Germany, etc… I love the Mexico and Norway rides! Location: Epcot Center. Illuminations: This is a fascinating, belief-defying laser light show put to amazing music. This is a must for my fellow eye and ear candy enthusiasts! Location: Epcot Center. Typhoon Lagoon: This is an awesome water park where you can cool off immediately in the huge wave pool. When you hear the bell it means the big waves are coming. You’ve been warned. Or fulfill your bliss potential with a trip down a “flume” style water slide with twist and turns which ends as a dip in a pool. If you are a daredevil there’s an enclosed daredevil steep drop waterslide, so you don’t have to worry about flying off the sliding board anymore! There’s a river tube ride which takes you under mini waterfalls, and through other fun little twists and turns. This is a great ride to mentally bliss out on (this is where you bring out your big gun best daydreams). I remember floating on this river as the song Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffett was playing and blissfully wishing that my vacation would never end. Caribbean Beach Resort: If you love tropical islands, or are a parrot head or a pirate, you’ll love the island ambience of this fun resort. The first thing you’ll notice is the pretty pastel architecture. The cute Caribbean style buildings are painted baby pink, baby blue, baby yellow etc…There is a swimming pool which features pirate cannons, a water slide, and a spa! There is a poolside bar, called Banana Cabana, that features such interesting drinks as a Captain’s Mai Tai’s and a Pina Colava (you have to try this drink, it’s a pina colada with a raspberry flavored liqueur swirled in…delicious! And it comes in non-alcoholic for those under 21 or for those who wish not to drink alcohol.) It is fun to sip a drink under your umbrella with a view of the pool. When I went last, there was Pirates of the Caribbean merchandise in the resort store, including such interesting things as a Pirate Mickey Mouse, pink pirate princess tees, key chains and earrings. I was able to get a plastic souvenir mug which included unlimited free refills while staying at the hotel! If you stay here, you must try the Shutter’s Potatoes at Shutter’s Restaurant. From the Mickey shaped soaps and colorful 188 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place • by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology rooms, to the Caribbean music playing at the pool, this hotel is awesome! I thought this resort was so pretty and fun that I bought a painting of it to bring it home with me! The Grand Floridian Resort: This upscale lake front resort resembles a turn of the century hotel. The ornate architecture is breathtaking, and includes a four story high gorgeous mural in the lobby. The staff is dressed in Victorian outfits for added time travel benefits. There is a luxurious spa for the pampered guest, and a multi-course upscale restaurant called Victoria and Albert’s for the hungry guest. More Ways to Enchant Yourself • Discover Your Roots: It is easier than ever before to search for your family’s roots. Just log onto Genealogy.com and follow the step-by-step instructions to trace your family tree. Psychologists have said that knowing your family history helps foster a strong sense of identity and belonging. My cousin traced our family tree on my father’s side and we found that all of the men in our family had been sea captains from the mid 1600’s to the early 1900’s. I have always had an obsession with the ocean and dreams of being on an old-fashioned ship since childhood, so I am sure that you can imagine my astonishment when I found out! Who knows what information you will unearth! • Gaze at the Stars: Whether it be at the planetarium or in the backyard with lots of bug spray, please acknowledge, from time to time, the innumerable twinkling bodies above us. Gazing at the night sky truly reminds me of how small my problems are and more importantly, how immense the universe truly is. You may want to augment your astronomical exploration by viewing the stars and planets through a telescope. Think of it as your own celestial kaliedascope. Or visit a planetarium. Even James Dean wasn’t too cool to visit the planetarium, as he did in one of my favorite retro juvenile delinquent flicks, Rebel Without a Cause. • Blast Your Music: The car next to you at the red light may not appreciate this suggestion, but the point here is to not allow yourself to become too sedate too early. Are you a twenty-something who acts more like a forty-something? If so, loosen up a little while you still can. And if you are a forty-something, please don’t act it all the time. Don’t listen to those boring people who like to advertise just how boring they are by telling you to “act your age”. The bottom line is do not let your age define who you are. Use it for legal purposes only! Or you will be sure to get the “orbiting blues” every time you go one more time around the sun. • Camp in Your Backyard: Recreate a genuine camping experience where you know there won’t be any bears or coyotes. Erect a tent, build a fire and roast marshmallows for s’mores. Shine a flashlight at the bottom of your chin in the dark and tell spooky ghost stories around the campfire. Invite a guitar player and sing 189 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology some good ol’ campin’ tunes! And if the neighbors call the cops because your wailin’ after nine, hand those boys in blue some s’mores and invite em’ to croon with ya! • Make an Excitement “To Do” List: When I first moved to the Beverly/Salem area of Massachusetts I became so enchanted with it that I would literally walk around the towns all day long if I had no other obligations, exploring everything. I met many nice people in the area who were fascinated by the fact that I was so mesmerized by their town. I began to ask them, “What do you really like to do, or where do you really like to go in this area?” I began to compile a list of all their “favorites”, their suggestions on how I should spend my time. They told me of their favorite pizza places, or that I should go to sit on the swing in the park while looking at the ships in the ocean, to go to the old theatre with the player piano to watch a movie, to go see the nautical exhibit at the museum, or to see the historic mansion where Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton had their famous duel. To ride the trolley, to go for a boat ride, to visit the whimsical boutique on the corner. This allowed me to expand my horizons, my experience, and to see the world through the eyes of other people. This was a very fascinating time in which I got to experience what fascinated and inspired others. • Be a Daring Female: I strongly recommend a book by Natasha Kogan, called The Daring Female’s Guide to Ecstatic Living. It gives you “30 dares for a more gutsy and fulfilling life”. This book is great for giving you anything ranging from a little push to a boot in the backside when you need motivation! For example, some sample dares include, “Dare to have a life wish list and cross something off every year” and “Dare to do now what you could do later.” Visit Amazon.com and DaringFemale.com for more information. • The Happiness System: There is another great book about creating a fulfilling life, called The Happiness System for Women, by Alexandra Watson. It helps you to clear out the clutter to make way for happiness and shows you how to build your own happiness step-by-step. • Serenade the Sun: Live in the moment by making ordinary occurrences extraordinary. With a simple switch-on of the imagination, you can reinvigorate your “normal life”, transforming it into a more meaningful venture. Acknowledge things you normally pass without a thought. Fuse spirituality and creativity into most things that you do and life will never seem “unfulfilling”. For example: Ever since I was young, I enjoyed watching the sunrise. It was a way for me to acknowledge nature, change, and life. It felt very spiritual. Now I try to watch the sunrise as often as possible in the summertime. Sometimes I will sit there in silence as it is very powerful on its own, but often I like to serenade the sunrise by listening to Here Comes the Suin by The Beatles on my Ipod. Just a little quirky thing that I do that other people might not understand, which makes it all the more special. • Watch the Sunset: Do you appreciate the gorgeous look of the sky at twilight often enough? Every night it’s a different painting. A glowing, multidimensional, romantic painting. Whether it is a glorious spectrum of blazing colors or a multitude 190 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology of dark, shadowy clouds adrift in a sea of glowing gray, the sky at night is enchanting and inspiring. Look out your window more often as the “heavenly shades of night are falling”. Why not spread a blanket on a hilltop and have a picnic dinner at “twilight time”? Then if you like, you can stay for the star show and perhaps some very sparkling conversation. I love the neon shades of pink, peach, purple, and red that stripe the sky. • Be a Rebel: Living life to the fullest means doing what you really want to do, even if others may not understand. Ignore those who want to fit life into neat little categories that their narrow minds can understand. Instead of thinking in those boring terms, defy categorization. • Become Easily Amused: Kurt Cobain sang, “I wish I was like you, easily amused” in his song All Apologies. Some people think that you can’t be easily amused and a “deep person” or a “profound thinker” at the same time. But you can. Being easily amused doesn’t necessarily mean that you are shallow and distracted by all the neon lights and pretty things the world has to offer. To be easily amused, you actually have to be open, alert and positive. You have to be open-minded enough to continually experience new things or at least old things on new levels. You have to be alert, attentive, and awake in order to experience them on the deepest, most intense level possible. And you have to approach things with a positive attitude to ensure you have more good experiences than bad. So take the cynical, jaded, lenses off, pay attention to the intricacy of the universe around you, and try and tell me that you’re not having a good time! • Go to the Beach at Sunrise or Sunset: Pure overwhelming beauty, a vibrant, interesting sky, an immeasurable expanse of sea before you…if this doesn’t inspire interesting daydreams and ideas, what will? • Come Aboard the Time Machine: I grew up listening to oldies as a kid. There was something soothing about these melodic messages from a simpler time. For me, sampling art from the past is like artistic archaeology. Being very interested in the history of pop culture, I have discovered many treasures throughout my journey back in time. I approach all works of art from the past free of any modern expectation and allow myself to become completely immersed in the captured moment in time. Often times I find music, paintings, and movies from bygone eras that are so absolutely intense and artistic, that the present pop culture seems disappointing by comparison. Trust me, you can become just as obsessed with art from ages ago as you can with anything from today. For me, the past is even more intriguing. Art, like fine wine, can get better with time. So don’t let the yellowed paper or grainy picture turn you off. Some obsessions of mine from the past: David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust era; the Impressionist painters from the late nineteenth century; medieval-era architecture and fashion design, On the Road by Jack Kerouac, The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, 1984 by George Orwell, Greek and Celtic mythology, etc... And it doesn’t have to be just cool, artsy, or intellectual stuff. You are also allowed to like 3D monster movies, pulp fiction novels and big hair bands. 191 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Be a Petra Pan: Childhood is a carefree time when imagination and reality seem to be indistinguishable. I would like to know who made up the rule that once you are a certain age or height you are no longer able to do certain things that are enjoyable. Sometimes the things that are considered childish seem like the result of arbitrary decisions. For example, why is it okay for adults to go through haunted houses but not to roll around inside a ball pen at Chucky Cheese? Rebel against this nonsensical notion. Drink Kool Aid, where 3D glasses, blow bubbles, bring a Yo-yo to work. Build sandcastles at the beach, hoola-hoop, collect stuffed animals and eat Pixie Sticks. Watch Looney Tunes reruns. And when you are sixty years old, please go to rock concerts. There is a way to be a healthy, well-adjusted, responsible adult without giving up things from childhood that you love. Live in Never Land forever. • Bathe by Candlelight: Make all ordinary events extraordinary whenever possible by treating yourself like a queen. You are worth the time it takes to gather the candles and plug the CD player in before you bathe. You should take a formal bath as often as possible, as it’s a great escape! By formal I mean a bath that you take time to prepare for. Trust me, this bath will be worth the effort: You can light scented candles, play relaxing music (harp music is great), so that sight, sound and smell are all indulged. For the sense of taste, you can prepare a platter of strawberries and chocolate, shrimp and cocktail sauce, or the Roman bath staple- grapes. (No you don’t have to peel them.) And finally for the sense of touch, you can run warm-tohot bathwater (to soothe muscles) over silkening bath beads salts (to soothe the skin). No, this is not as Martha Stuart-esque as you could possibly get, you could adorn the top of the tub with seashells, flower petals and seaweed. And no, this is not as Roman as you could possibly get; you could invite some friends out to wine and dine, if one would massage your scalp, while the other fans you. But that’s perhaps, a bit much (he, he). • Dare to Live the Artist Lifestyle: Being an artist and living like an artist are two different things. To live like an artist is to turn life into art. You do what your soul tells you to do. You cause your imagination to manifest itself on canvases and in your reality. You live according to your true beliefs and convictions whether they are popular or not. You allow yourself to be you. Be a rebel, an explorer, an adventuress. In order to truly live life loudly and to the absolute fullest, you truly have to stop caring about what other people think of you. I realized this when I first started getting into David Bowie. There is no way that Ziggy Stardust, the androgynous alien, could have come to life if Bowie really cared about what everybody thought of him. Obviously someone stuck in the “macho mentality” just wouldn’t get the androgynous aspect... But he did not let fear of others’ judgments stop him. He could never have been as innovative if he had. I know it will be hard to stop taking others’ opinions to heart, especially since we live in a society where the emphasis is on “fitting in” and “keeping up with” and impressing “the Joneses”. Well, let’s refute the value of this goal right now. To start with, this is a pretty empty aspiration, isn’t it? After all, how do you know when you have done a good enough job of conforming to someone else’s standards? How do you know when the Joneses are finally impressed? Is it after you get the Lexus, or the diamond earrings? I doubt if they’ll tell you. Besides, who gets to set the standard? Why is it okay for 192 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Calvin Klein or Vera Wang to set a standard of what is stylish or cool and not you? So if you really want to wear a purple fedora with peacock plumage to the Seven Eleven to buy a pretzel please do. Forgive anyone who laughs at you for not being on the same level of individualism-enlightenment. Like Patrick Henry said from his soul, “Live free or die.” • Escape to the Sea: Let yourself go on an all-inclusive cruise. A cruise is the ultimate escape. Why the ultimate escape you ask? Because not only can you escape your daily cares and geographic location, but you can also escape fiscal responsibility. Your cruise price includes your cabin, your entertainment, your meals and in some cases, your drinks. And tipping is not allowed! Turn your cruise into a multi-sensual experience. Take in the beautiful ocean view and feast your eyes on a lavish stage show spectacle. Listen to the calming sounds of ocean waves and seagulls, or the energizing live music. Sample the rejuvenating scent of the salty sea air. Indulge in a in a new-to-you massage style, perhaps of the Swedish or shiatsu variety. Dine on multi-course gourmet appetizers, drinks and meals, morning, noon and night. Find a bargain at Seasaver.com or Cruise.com. • Step Out of the Pigeonhole: Being of the female gender definitely has its perks. You can be emotional without being laughed at by ignorant people. You can be more creative with your appearance without people being offended by your creativity. But there are even more ideas about what “ladies” should not do. Some people shudder at the sight of a woman who dons work boots and wields a hammer. As if she cannot be feminine and handy around the house at the same time. Some people still believe that a woman should not call a man. This is considered aggressive and therefore masculine. And contrary to popular belief, it is not just men with archaic perspectives who feel this way. Because the media so strictly adheres to the notion that women are ornamental fixtures who find fulfillment only in hoarding shoes and impressing men, many women cannot conceive of a life less ordinary. According to the media, being an individualist who lives by your own ideology is something that some brave men do. We are socialized to feel that we must fit into this very rigid idea of what we can and can’t do, say, like, look like and feel like. Books like The Rules instruct women to impress men by being dainty and feminine at all times, which even includes suppressing a funny personality. According to this hardcore conformist viewpoint, men don’t like loud, funny, “knee-slapping girls”. Don’t get me wrong. I love to shop and wear nice shoes. It is fine to shop and be shoe-obsessed and even play hard to get, as long as you are being true to yourself and not trying to convey some conformist image. If you narrow the scope of who you are you will feel short-changed at the end, as if you let yourself be dictated to, as if you let part of your soul die. So repair your porch and tell a few howlers at a party if you want. Listen to rock music, travel all over the world, and sky dive if you want. Don’t let anyone quell your adventurous spirit. Anyone who disapproves can be dismissed as narrow-minded. Refuse to be pushed into the pigeonhole! • Feel Depressed Less: One day I had a revelation. My work schedule at that time gave me Wednesdays off. So being one so determined to not let life pass me by, I inevitably put tons of pressure on myself to make each and every Wednesday an 193 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology extremely productive day. It was a Wednesday of mediocre productivity when I looked at the clock which read 3:18 PM. Instantly I felt depressed at the realization that half of my day had already passed by without the manifestation of some lifevalidating achievement. It was as if looking at the clock, on the afternoon of a mediocre day- not even a bad day- instantly brought on a midday crisis. This revelation made me realize that I had the power of ending these midday crisis moments, by changing my own perspective on what a good day entailed. I realized that I was placing value only on time I spent actively working on a project, not on time I spent letting myself live “freestyle”. If I could just see the worth in allowing myself a little more spontaneous freedom I could alleviate the frequent bouts of worrying that I was wasting time. I began to make “balancing my time a priority.” Time on the project…and time off, just taking in life. Time spent abiding by the todo list… time spent abandoning the agenda. I also realized I could apply this liberating “shift of thinking” exercise to any bad feeling I had. When you feel depressed, try to identify what triggered the change in your emotionality. Can you think about it in a different way? Can you reframe your perspective? Challenge your mentality every time you feel down and you will find that the feeling comes about less and less. • Find Yourself: Try to be completely honest with yourself from now on. Are you a slave to the media, worrying about acquiring all the latest status symbols regardless of if you really want them or need them? Would you pass up an awesome outfit simply because it was a Kmart blue light special? Do you really like that band or are you just stocking up on the latest top 40 hits? Do television, magazines or movie stars make your decisions for you? Take a stand. Write down 100 things that you truly love without censoring the list, even if some entries might be considered controversial or “or out of style”. Do not let the little voices in your head, from MTV or your mother chime in. You may end up surprising yourself with what you actually commit to paper. Now get more involved with as many of those aspects of yourself as you can. For your own fun and amusement you have to be yourself at all times, even if it means never ever fitting in. Ultimately you will be the most comfortable one as people begin to gravitate toward you, wanting a breath of fresh air. • Go to the Mental Gift Shop: Imagine that if you accomplished something you could have whatever you wanted. Imagine the possibilities of life all the time, and they will become familiar to you and your subconscious, and you will be more apt to believe they can become reality, and therefore will be more likely to achieve them. For more information about the “law of attraction”, watch the movie, The Secret. • Let Life Be Your Canvas: You have choices. You can choose to see where the winds of life take you, by being passive, indolent, and narrow-minded, or you can choose to create your life. Choose the life you want by being active, productive, and creative. Design your days by planning the majority of them out before hand or by packing the hours with life-enhancing activities. By that, I mean, any activity with the potential to escalate your experience on either a physical, mental or spiritual level. Instead of spending free time parked in front of the tube, pick up a book, practice 194 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology honing your talents, write a letter to a relative, utilize the internet to research the solution to a problem, work out, go to the park, or write a poem. The point is, do not waste life. Let life be your canvas and paint a day on it that you can be proud of, a designer day, if you will. Fill your canvas with these colorful, fascinating days. Become prepared for life’s recital and you will never lust after idleness again. • Wear Plaid with Paisley: In life there are many unwritten rules. An effective method of enhancing your creativity is to question the limitations imposed upon you that do not hold up to analytical analysis. When boundaries on behavior are drawn, creativity is stifled. How can innovation ever occur if we adhere to unfounded beliefs or opinions? We need to question, challenge, and invent instead. The Wright brothers could have easily adopted the widely held belief that it is impossible for man to fly. This belief was founded solely on the fact that before 1903 it had not yet happened, and this limiting idea was bolstered by the plethora of failed attempts at flight, which were immortalized on the golden, choppy celluloid of yore. The phrase, “think outside the box” has been so popularized as of late, that it has become a clichéd staple of commercials. This is unfortunate, however, as this popular phrase eloquently sums up what we need to do. Question the “paradigms” or “schema” in your mind that are not based firmly in fact. These words are fancy terms found in psychological textbooks that refer to the structure of multiple thoughts in your mind for a given concept. For example, your schema for black cats may include thoughts such as, “If a black cat crosses my path it will bring me bad luck”, “I must avoid black cats”, or “Black cats are scary.” My black cat Shadow is hoping that you do not agree with these statements. If you do, you might think about analyzing and possibly reorganizing your schema concerning black cats. Are your ideas rooted in fact or mythology, or in this case, superstition? If you find that your view of black cats does not coincide with established fact, shift your paradigm and befriend cute little “Midnight” down the lane. The mindset of “fact versus fiction” is a great way to approach the multitude of ideas that ambush us on a daily basis. However, I would like to interject, at this point, what is a little less than a flattering opinion of “fact”, if I may, to get you to question its value as well. One of the tasks of the branch of philosophy that studies knowledge, known as epistemology, is to refute the charge by extreme skeptics that no knowledge is possible. When can something be considered factual? Just looking at the myriad of conflicting health reports concerning foods such as eggs and meat, distributed over the last few years can leave your senses reeling. After seeing explorers traverse the nether regions of the world and prove that it was round, citizens of the Renaissance era learned that sometimes, fiction becomes fact before our eyes. People had learned for millennia that the world was flat. To question this belief seemed absurd. What would the world be like now if nobody ever did? Where on the globe would you be right now? A very creative, often dangerous place to dabble with paradigm shifting is in the world of fashion. Here we have many unwritten rules founded in little more than propagated opinions. You can’t wear white after Labor Day (how absurd is this, as snow is white!) You can’t mix prints. I say, if you really like the way that it looks, wear your plaid skirt with your paisley shirt! • Watch a Sad, Sad Movie: Raw human emotion is an interesting thing. Be honest, doesn’t it feel really good to ball your eyes out? If it didn’t, then how could Titanic have become such a big hit? Obviously somebody was deeply affected and told a 195 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology friend who told a friend. A really sad movie allows you to experience intense emotion without a direct impact on your life, kind of like being able to drink and not get a hangover the next day. After all, you are crying at fiction (with the exception of Titanic which was fact and fiction), not over one of your personal challenges. Emotion this primal is a natural high in its own right. You are releasing tension and experiencing a cathartic surreal intensity that is always thrilling. So next time you feel frustration and boredom and an urge for a different setting, pop a sad movie into your DVD player. You know you like it! • Which Goddess are You: Take the goddess quiz at paleothea.com/quiz.html . After answering a series of questions, the quiz will inform you of which goddess you most resemble. Take her as a bit of your inspiration. • Take Advantage of Cinematherapy: The book Cinematherapy will direct you to the perfect movie for whatever is ailing you. And if you need even more movie medication, you might want to check out the ultimate movie resource, MovieDB.com. I must say however, that even with the plethora of movies that abound, It’s a Wonderful Life remains the one infallible film-cure for me. If you have never seen it, be patient with the slow-moving first half of the movie…the riveting, surprising end is worth the wait. Another favorite of mine • Take Advantage of Bibliotherapy: The book Bibliotherapy, written especially for young women, prescribes the best book to conquer your stressors. Sometimes you just need to escape from pop culture and escape to some mental place with a good read. • Befriend Mother Nature and all Her Friends: For your own personal sanity not to mention pleasure, you should take to the outdoors whenever possible. Fresh air, vitamin D, and solace from modern technology and its many annoying messages can all be yours…for free. Too many days without sunshine and fresh air and you will pay the price emotionally. Sunlight is an indisputable mood booster. In fact, many people have gone into a major clinical depression, simply because their lifestyles did not provide for enough sunlight. So make connecting with the outdoors a priority and your spirit will stay elevated. Why not grab your binoculars on the way out the door and follow the adventures of a couple of spritely sparrows? Or follow your cat on one of his adventures (up a tree, if the mood strikes). Becoming lost in an animal’s world feels a lot like meditating. You learn that you are not the center of the universe and can forget about your problems as you become absorbed in Fluffy’s attempt to open the screen door with her claws. For me, being outdoors feels very spiritual. After all, nature is our world, unrefined. I enjoy jumping on my trampoline under the clouds, while listening to the birds chirp. It is very peaceful and energizing at the same time. • Stand Next to a Waterfall: There is actually science behind the reason that you enjoy gazing at a waterfall at the park. Not only is the image exotic and the sound calming, but running water is actually charged with negative ions, molecules scientifically proven to elevate your mood. So next time you are at the mall, stop by 196 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology the water fountain for an instant mood boost. No waterfall nearby? Running through a sprinkler or standing in the shower will have the same effect. • Ride a Rollercoaster: Visceral experience, that is, one felt in the gut, is not just exciting but it takes you out of your day-to-day context, physically, mentally and emotionally. There is no faster way to supercharge your batteries, intensify your lust for life. So next time your feeling worn out, jaded and utterly uninterested, take a weekday off and go to an amusement park (that way the lines will be tolerable). Enjoy the adrenaline rush • Stay at a Bed and Breakfast: Experience the first rate hospitality and comfort of a restful weekend in a quaint little town. You can book reservations online for thousands of B&B’s throughout the world at BedandBreakfastsandInns.com. Go this weekend! Vacation Lovers Take the Ultimate Vacation: Nothing is more exciting than traveling to new, unfamiliar places. Taking vacations, even to places you’ve been to many times before, is arguably the greatest way to fuel your creative fire. Taking vacations breaks the monotony and provides you with plenty of new scenery and personalities. Here are some ideas to make your next vacation an incredible experience: • Bring a brand new CD on vacation with you, one that you’ve been meaning to purchase for a long time. Listen to it on the plane, train, in your car, or in your hotel room. This way, when you get home, that great vacation feeling will be there whenever you play these tunes. You will immediately feel those vacation vibes and memories rushing back to you. • Don’t let vacation frenzy stress you out. Keep a positive, even elated attitude as you travel to your destination. Before you go, consult a travel guide, and brush up on the language. • At your destination, approach life as an eager child would. Indulge all your senses and your mind. Marvel at the architecture, flowers and plants. Listen to the local music, and sample the cuisine. • Swim or hit the whirlpool whenever possible. Frequent “hydrotherapy” sessions will stimulate your senses, fuel your creativity and add to that “vacationpampered” feeling. • Go to amusement parks and water parks if possible. Giddy childlike feelings and thrills guarantee good times and a shift in perspective! 197 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Go ahead and pamper yourself on your vacation. This is your time to escape. Take a spa sojourn. Get a massage, go for a hot stone therapy session, or get a seaweed body wrap. Sip a tropical fruit smoothie while relaxing in the pool. • It is fine to let the culinary adventuress in you come out and indulge in festive feasts while on vacation. However, you might want to make use of the hotel gym or pool so that you do not incur any weight gain and so it is easier to get back on the fitness horse when you get home. • In order to get the ultimate vacation experience, always bring your journal. Bring it with you to serene places like beaches and gardens where you can let nature inspire you. Write in it daily, especially about your itinerary so you can relive the experience vividly. A journal is a great compliment to vacation photographs! • A great vacation is truly a revelation. How could it not be? Your life is revolutionized with a new energy, wisdom and knowledge. New obsessions. New daydreams. Your entire experience on this earth is revitalized. Your appreciation appreciates (couldn’t resist the very tightly themed alliteration.) So take more than just the memories home-take the lifestyle. Keep a journal or tape recording summarizing your daily itineraries. Also record how you feel emotionally- whether you are happy or sad (in retrospect both will be interesting). Buy several albums that you always wanted just before you go so that when you play them later on, the melodies will instantly transport you back to your vacation. Let your vacation inspire you to do better in life when you get back to your normal life! More Ways to Make Life More Interesting • Write or Recite Your Life Story on Tape. You can do it line by line. Just get it down. Even if you want to lay out the structure and then add other points later. Number your speech lines and rearrange on paper. When you write your life story, you get a feeling of satisfaction. It’s as if you never wasted a day in your life, as you have recorded everything. Now your experiences will be accessible to someone in the future who could learn from them. Never get published? No problem. Selfpublish two books- one for yourself, and one to put into a time capsule, so someone in the future can find it and pass it on (possibly publish it then). To paraphrase Pheobe from Friends, not being appreciated in your own time is really cool! • Put Heart and Soul into Everything You Do: I borrowed this line from an A&E Biography on Betty Grabel. A wartime coworker was musing on Betty’s “Technicolor face” and sense of exuberance. She said, “She put her heart and soul into everything she did”. What a way to be remembered! The phrase just struck me as it was coupled with smiling Betty shimmying and bopping in one of her 40’s era 198 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology musicals. What a legacy, to have inspired those around you by living life to the fullest. I mean, why not? What’s stopping us? If we are in the classroom we might as well pay attention and pass the tests. Why not do your best at everything, if only for the excitement and satisfaction it brings? The accolades that will come naturally will just be the icing on the cake! You will influence the people around you to do the same and therefore your environment will benefit from your efforts, as you will all charge the air with positive vibes. How could the people around you not notice your zest for living? Let’s start a renaissance! • Picnic in the Park: Buy a classic big picnic basket, complete with red and white checked tablecloth. Fill it with Subway grinders and Kentucky Fried Chicken Coleslaw, or make snacks and sandwiches of your own creation (see the recipe section at the end of the Body section.) Bring along an acoustic guitar or a radio if you wish. Wear layered clothing so you can spend a great portion of the day, relaxing comfortably in the park. Why not end the meal with a trip to the playground. Swing on the swings and slide down the slide, why don’t you? • Get Lost: You will discover another part of the world, within driving distance. Why does our explorer spirit dim if we have a drive through, video rental store and a convenience store on Main Street? We suddenly don’t need to see the lands right outside of our town’s perimeter? You really could take a week’s long “vacation in the town next door” simply because you are bound to find something a little stimulating to do every day, for one week in the town that you never visit. • Be a Water Baby: Hydrotherapy, sensory deprivation chambers, dream tubs, swimming, whitewater rafting, beaching, water-sliding…water is a mental, physical and emotional stimulant. Your physical body enjoys the serenity of being surrounded with that feeling of weightlessness, that feeling of having no stress on your body. Emotionally, the lack of stress and the inducement of relaxation reminds you of childhood, when you were comfortable, cared for, and not too knowledgeable of the evils of the world. Engage in a water-based activity as often as possible. If you don’t have a pool at your gym or in your backyard, take spa-like bathing sessions in your bath tub and visit the water park and beach every summer…or run in the sprinkler like a kid! • See a Live Musical: A musical reaches beyond the auditorium…it fills the entire theatre and stretches out into the outside world. Its energy literally moves you, if ever so slightly that you don’t notice. In Connecticut, I love to visit The Good Speed Opera House. It is a beautifully restored Victorian Mansion, intricate in its architectural design, situated romantically along the Connecticut River, where lunch time cruise ships roll slowly past. Musicals such as Annie and are held in this lavish setting where many of the attendees don very elegant duds. If you can’t make it to a live musical check out the movie Chicago (innocent looking bad girl flapper Roxy Hart daydreams almost as much as I do), the movie Annie (my childhood favorite: we had an Annie play in our backyard), or the movie Westside Story- I love “Just play it cool boy, real cool!”. 199 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Visit an Emotional Oasis: Go on an emotional and spiritual retreat. These alternative education institutes are like spas for the inner you. Contact the Omega Institute at (800) 944-1001 or at Eomega.org or contact the Option Institute at (413) 229-2100 or at Option.org. Here you will learn skills that will enhance every aspect of your life. • Listen to Your Fanfare: Not only kings and queens have fanfares. You have one too! You didn’t know? When I want to totally lift my spirits, I listen to Aaron Copland’s Fanfare for the Common Man. It will make you feel regal! It will also remind you of walking through Epcot Center in Disney World. • Celebrate the Season: Buy fresh flowers and take walks in light rain in the springtime. Listen to A Summer Solstice and visit a farm stand to get some fresh corn on the cob in the summer. Drink some fresh apple cider and visit a real haunted house in the autumn, and listen to A Winter Solstice and go sledding in the winter. Do not let a season pass without celebrating it in some small way! The dramatic change of the seasons is why I find it so hard to leave New England. It is very invigorating to celebrate the change of the environment around you and the different mood it brings, with activities and rituals exclusive to that season. Here are some more ideas: • Apple Cider Autumn: Autumn is my all-time favorite season. Growing up in New England with its wealth of haunted history made autumn an exciting time to be attentive to the world and the “surreal world” around me. And it’s such a beautiful world in autumn. The falling, vibrantly colored leaves, the shiver in the air, and the descending of darkness earlier… these all lend themselves to the mythical romance of fall. Things to do in autumn: drink apple cider, visit an apple orchard, rake a pile of leaves to jump in, go on a hayride (haunted or otherwise), visit a haunted house, tell ghost stories, visit a cemetery, visit Mexico for the annual Day of the Dead celebrations, or visit Salem Massachusetts for the annual Halloween celebrations. And my favorite autumnal proverb: Never say you are “too old to dress up”. • Sizzling Summer: Summer is symbolically the “party” season. We may have many holiday parties in the winter, but summer is the time when we really “live it up”, “let our hair down” and “let it all hang out.” Summer is also a time for extremes. We go from hot sidewalks to cool swimming pools. We may take a plunge down a steep waterslide or have an extra shot of Tequila. Summer is a time when we feel carefree and alive! Things to do in summer: Run through a sprinkler, swim with a dolphin ($200) at Sea World (worth every penny), go to a BBQ, go to the drive-in for some retro movie fun, go to a water park, bring an inner tube to the beach, go to see the fireworks, collect seashells, scuba dive, snorkel, water-ski, parasail, hand-glide, sail, go on a day-cruise. Be wet and wild! • Winter Wonderland: Wintertime reminds me of childhood: sledding, singing Christmas carols, building snowmen, preparing cookies for Santa, going to bed on Christmas Eve in anticipation of great gifts on Christmas morning. We need to hold onto that youthful exuberance for winter by upholding the traditions that bring us joy. It is good for us to feel that each year we have a time of extra celebration and 200 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology love. Our environment certainly lends itself to the feeling that winter is a special time: snowfall blankets the world in the beauty of pure white powder and sparkling icicles and the buildings and trees around us are suddenly adorned with twinkling lights of every color. Things to do in winter: Sledding, ice-skating, using the fireplace, singing carols, writing cards, watching classic holiday movies, give to charity, dress up as Santa or Mrs. Clause, cruise around looking at twinkling Christmas lights. • Spring Cleaning: Every year we get a chance to start anew. Spring is the time to clean out our closets and our lives. Throw out what doesn’t work and work with what does. Celebrate spring by noticing the budding trees and the positive attitudes that help you to feel fulfilled. Celebrate spring by vowing to start over. • Conquer Boredom: There is a secret that successful people know: if you pay very close attention to, and invest all of your effort into any task, you can’t possibly perceive it as boring. Where effort goes, boredom cannot follow. Boredom is unnecessary and it can cause failure. For example, if you are allowing yourself to be bored at a task, you will invest only a minimal amount of effort, and therefore the activity is basically a waste of your time. You are allowing your brain and body to go into “auto pilot” or “cruise control” mode. You are “just skating by”. It can’t possibly be your best work. If you are not interested in doing lazy, second-rate work, then it is worth your energy and time to pay attention, try hard and therefore conquer boredom. Even a monotonous, boring activity can be a less mentally taxing venture if you reframe your thoughts. Think of boring activities as challenging obstacles that you need to overcome in order to get closer and closer to your goals. Reframe your thoughts to favor the activity and it will be more pleasant than it would have been. Try to design each and everyday so that you can maximize the benefits and rewards of each activity that you take on. Think of each activity and each day as one step closer to the achievement of your goals. Begin to interpret common events differently. After all, boredom, one of your main obstacles, is only a state of mind, and a state of mind, like the finance rate of a credit card, is always subject to change at anytime. 201 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Break the Monotony Of course, there are activities that we must do that are less than exciting, such as doing household chores. These activities are more tolerable if you have an activity that stimulates creativity to look forward to. If your “off-time” consists of routines, make some changes. Try new activities. Venture to new places. Go on vacations or day trips as often as possible. When you expand your horizons, you become a more interesting person. You have more to “draw” from during your creative pursuits. Your inspiration and motivation flourishes. The key is to make changes, no matter how small they may seem. This will keep your brain sharp and will add excitement and variety to your life. You will also have more to talk about and write about. The more you vary your experiences, the better the chance for you to come up with really fresh, original ideas! Here are some tips to get you started: • Take a bubble bath by candle light. • Find a new fictional muse in your bookstore or library. A muse refers to one of Zeus’s nine enchanting daughters who were goddesses of artistic inspiration. Is there a fictional character you can find who will fit this bill for you? A muse can be male or female if they give you inspiration. Some of my fictional muses are Anne Shirley of Anne of Green Gables, Holden Caulfield of The Catcher in the Rye, and Dean Moriarty in On the Road. • Cook a brand new recipe. • Window shop. • Take a walk down a different street. • Go to a different shopping mall. • Go to a super-bookstore to browse. • Take a class on yoga, jewelry making, or French. • Rearrange your furniture and redecorate. • Try a different exercise routine. • Write letters to distant relatives or friends. • Take an old-fashioned train or steamboat river ride. • Buy an instructional book or video and learn to draw. • Go on a scary roller coaster at an amusement park. • Read a Victorian novel. • Clean out your closet. • Ride your bike or go roller-skating. • Boogie board in the ocean or learn to surf. 202 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Do something childlike: blow bubbles or build a sandcastle. • Camp in your backyard. • Dine by your pool. • Collect seashells. • Visit a waterfall, water fountain, or water park. • Go to a classical music concert in the park. • Write a ghost story. 203 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part Three: Spirit Chapter 17 How to Be Emotionally Happy and Healthy Mental Health Sometimes confidence boosting tips just don’t seem to help. There is a deep-seated problem presenting an unknown obstacle to your happiness and comfort level in day to day life. The two most popular emotional disorders are anxiety and depression. These two often go hand in hand and very often, having one will lead to having the other. The good news is that the treatments are very similar and can often alleviate both conditions. • Talk therapy: Many psychologists feel that the best way to treat these conditions is to schedule regular counseling visits. The ability to vent about your condition/s and your day to day challenges is relieving in and of itself, but your psychologist will use this information to analyze your situation and may make behavior modification recommendations. Or they may feel that medication would be your best bet. • Medication: SSRIs are the most common medications prescribed for alleviating the symptoms of anxiety and depression. Specifically, Prozac or Zoloft may be prescribed for depression and Paxil for anxiety. These medications work to make serotonin more readily available in your brain. After a few weeks of using the medication you should notice that your mood has improved and you are socially less inhibited. What’s more, SSRIs have also been proven effective in treating PMS symptoms! • Self-Help: There is a great self-help course available to you. It is called Attacking Anxiety and Depression. It is distributed by the Midwest Center. This is a comprehensive, phased self-help course featuring fabulous advice on treating not only anxiety and depression but stress as well. The course consists of 16 audio cassettes, a workbook and a video. The course covers a variety of skills you can learn for battling these conditions, including healthy self-talk, stopping panic attacks, controlling your mood swings, assertive behavior and ending constant worry. It is narrated by the very caring Lucinda Bassett, who designed the program after researching her way to recovery herself.. The program is pricey (around $350), but many employee assistance programs or insurance plans will cover the cost. You could also pay for the program with monthly installment payments of around $60. For ordering information call the Midwest Center at (800)511-8794. 204 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Depression and Anxiety Tips: If you suffer from anxiety or depression, try to incorporate as many of the following into your lifestyle as often as possible: Exercise at least 30 minutes a day, three times a week. Eat healthy and avoid caffeine, alcohol and sugar. Get at least 10 minutes of sunshine a day. Practice deep breathing several times a day (inhale for a count of five, hold for a count of five, and exhale for a count of ten, using your diaphragm). Be sure that the inner monologue in your mind is positive and kind to you. Be assertive and state your true feelings. Be sure to have goals and work toward them regularly. Keep your surroundings clean and orderly and get organized. Be sure to be attentive to your grooming habits and pamper yourself when you feel the need. Get a good daily dose of comedy (sitcoms, movies, or a couple of good hearty laughs will do). I personally love The Simpsons for dependable laughs. Get spiritual (the Spirit section of this book is a must!) • Undoing Emotional Damage: Ruminating on the past is a major cause of depression. Choose not to be a victim. Scan your life from day one and identify any unresolved issues that you have. Ask yourself, “What can I do that will finally enable me to make peace with myself on that issue? Then try your best to do that activity or to write that letter. The idea is to engage in exercises that will exorcise your regrets. I call these exercises “consolation activities”. Consolation activities are the equivalent of consolation prizes for game show guests who don’t win. They may be just what you need to finally put those old demons to rest. For example, I have a friend who regretted missing her high school prom. Since she is the type who prides herself on “trying everything once” this really bothered her. For her consolation activity, she chose to go with her boyfriend to a swanky restaurant. She wore a gown, he wore a tux and they traveled there in a stretch limousine. After a delicious multi-course dinner and dancing they then treated themselves to an overnight stay in a posh hotel replete with a private whirlpool. She now has made peace with that regret and believes that she had more fun at her “makeshift prom” than she would have had at the real one. Of course, not all consolation activities require great expenses. Be creative and you can find something satisfying yet inexpensive. 205 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Stress Reduction Secrets • Turn Daily Routines into Adventurous Escapades: A change to your daily practices, even the slightest one, will give you a brand new outlook on life and therefore can cheer you up immensely. For example, while riding in the car, invent a story around things that you see that intrigue you, such as beautiful buildings, landscapes, or even people. Instead of dropping lemon wedges in your water, try orange or lime wedges. And be sure to put an umbrella in your drink glass. • Learn to Love Lunges: We all know that exercise is among the top proven stress-fighters. But few of us love doing it- and only do it out of feelings of pure obligation. We therefore don’t put as much energy and enthusiasm into our workouts as we could if we’d just pick something physical to do that we actually like. If the gym bores you out of your gourd, go outside and get some fresh air. Bike ride, play tennis, go for a Sunday afternoon stroll, march in a parade, go to a many mile-wide amusement park and ride all the rides, swim in the wave pool at the water park, climb the many flights of stairs of The Slick Slope waterslide while lugging a tube raft. • Make Your Surroundings Cheerful: Hate going to work? What about if you had a fan, radio, a chopped fresh veggie platter with dip and a bouquet of fresh flowers in a crystal vase on your desk. Would the day be any better than usual? Brainstorm ways to make things better. Surround yourself with things that make you happy and that keep you healthy and you’ll have a very hard time getting blue. • Breathe Better: Learning to use your breath to your body and mind’s advantage is a skill available to anyone. It is a skill that should be practiced each and every day. Breath is absolutely the most essential thing to our being. It should be revered and valued. Here’s how you can improve your breathing: Each day set aside at least 5 minutes when you wake up and five minutes before you go to bed for deep breathing. Breathe in through your nose for 4 to 8 seconds, hold for four to eight seconds, then exhale through pursed lips for 12 to 16 seconds. Do this for five minutes morning and night and you will breathe more efficiently during the day. Some more breathe better tips: Use Vicks Vapor Rub to aid in opening your nasal passages. Deep breathe throughout the day-at your desk at work, in the elevator, in the car, in the waiting room, in the line for the roller coaster and you will be much more energized, calm, clear-minded, and healthyfeeling all day long. Deep breathing feels just as much like a “shower for your inside” as drinking eight glasses of water. You feel pleasant, light and buoyant afterwards. Everyone should experience this level of refreshment! • Keep Super-Sensitivity in Control: Often people say things, or even more often, don’t say things that we perceive as offensive that were never meant to be that way. In many ways, we were raised to be a cynical society by the media and 206 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology therefore many of us view reality through dark lenses. For example, if someone doesn’t say hello to us, we take it to mean that they are snubbing us, when it may really be that they are shy or intimidated by us. Assuming the worse is anxietyinvoking as well as a distorted representation of reality. Studies show that only 10% of our worries are for valid reasons. 90% are the result of excessive, unnecessary fixation and obsession (the bad type). Taking everything personally, besides being a stress-creating habit, physically taxes us to the point of exhaustion, and mentally can drive us to emotional breakdown. Viewing everything in a negative shadow is counter-productive. Save the dark side of your soul for poetry or art and don’t ruminate about every bad thing in your life while waiting in line at the drugstore. Stop viewing criticism as threatening but as a natural result of the growth process. Reacting defensively toward criticism kicks in your body’s fight-or-flight response and sends your stress hormone levels soaring above healthy levels. Count to 30 before you choose to respond so hopefully rationalization will be part of your approach. Check with your trusted family and friends to see if the criticism really is something to “get all upin-arms about”. • Be an Early Bird: Become a true “life-enthusiast” and be a “girl who gets up early”. Hardly anyone gets up early anymore unless they have to. When you really learn to love life you will find that you get up earlier and earlier each day, just so that you will be able to experience more and more. Getting up early makes you look great at the office. By getting to work earlier than necessary, you are not stressed out worrying about the traffic during your commute, you impress the boss, and you can get more work done for yourself or the company. Getting up early on your day off allows you to do more chores, have more fun, try new things, and get stuff done. On television you may see strange shows that you would have never have seen if you hadn’t woke up bright and early. Watch the sun come up. Workout early to have energy for the rest of the day. The list goes on and on. This doesn’t mean you can never enjoy the luxury of sleeping in again. Sleep in one or two days a week, maybe with breakfast in bed. But most days remember that “the early bird catches the worm”. • Reign in Worry: Worry is mentally and physically devastating. It can turn a blessed life into one of chaos and stress attacks. It is counter-productive because it sidetracks you and keeps you form exploring. Keep worry at bay by diverting yourself. Experts have suggested putting a rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time a vicious thought roams your way. Or take up meditation. A ten minute session once or twice a day is all you need to learn to refocus mental energy which will help you stay stress-free and on-track. With meditation, the object of the game is to think about nothing or to fixate on one good thing. Whenever worries come into your mind, imagine them floating away from you and out of the stratosphere. This daily practice, just 10 minutes long, can change the way you select what you choose to focus on in life. • Relax Your Neck and Shoulders: Unconsciously, you may be carrying around a lot of stress in your neck and shoulders. We often sit and stand in a tensed up, hunched over manner, out of a stress-induced, instinctive effort to protect ourselves. Relieve this tension with a monthly massage. Or get a “chair 207 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology massage” at the office. Many companies offer a service where the recipient sits on a device which they can lean against while resting their faces on a rounded foam pad, for total comfort. The shoulders, neck and upper back are kneaded for total revitalization, mid-workday. Can’t afford massages this month? Lift your shoulders as high as they can go, touch them to your ears, hold for a few counts, then relax and drop. Repeat this practice several times for utter relief. • Hush the Inner-Critic: Non-stop negative self-talk is debilitating to your self esteem and unnecessary. Always remember that your disapproving innermonologue is always exaggerated and overly critical naturally, simply because we spend more time with ourselves than anyone else so we have more time to observe and dissect our own flaws. Elect to give yourself a break from so much self-made sadness. One of my favorite movies, as a psychology major, is the comedy What About Bob? Bill Murray is the neurotic patient who is prescribed a “vacation from his problems” by his psychologist, Dr. Leo Marvin. I love the part when Bob is so desperate to see his shrink that he follows him on vacation. When Bob arrives in town he is not sure at exactly which address Dr. Marvin is vacationing at. So he stands in the center of town yelling, “Dr. Leo Marvin!” At that moment Dr. Marvin is leaving a grocery store. His wife asks, “Honey, is somebody calling you?” • Anger-Manage: Choose not to let annoying situations escalate into all-out traumas. Being the drama queen leaves you having to pay the piper as your stress and regret levels inadvertently climb the charts. Wagging your finger, rolling your neck, cussing and cursing, throwing a fist- none of these reactions leave you feeling proud the next day. So take ownership of your emotions. Don’t carry on like a spoiled rotten brat (not that you would-would you?) Be patient with lines, traffic, the DMV, and other things that you cannot change. • Try Hypnosis: Hypnosis, while exaggerated by Hollywood and magic shows, really can help you to better handle stressful situations or to see things from a better perspective if it is performed by a qualified practitioner. Find one at Asch.net, online home of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis. There is actually some credible psychology to back up some of its claims. It does not however work on everybody. • Let the Answering Machine Do It’s Job: You don’t need to ever answer the phone if you don’t want to. Your answering machine is a big stress reducer when you use it. Return calls only when it is convenient for you. Don’t be a slave to the ring tone! And please don’t bring your Blackberry on vacation unless it is a work vacation. • Vary Your Vacations: Ideally, you would have at least 2 weeks vacation a year. For one week, you would travel, experience adventure. For the other week, you would stay home or visit a spa, and rest and rejuvenate. You need both excitement and relaxation to maintain a healthy balanced lifestyle. If you only get one week, maybe take a few day trips and then relax the rest of the week. Not just your vacations, but your everyday should be designed with this balancing mindset. 208 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Make Friends with Miss Manners: Good behavior boosts your confidence, makes those around you more comfortable and this comfort boomerangs back to you. From now on, be more mindful of how you treat others. Little changes make a big difference. Be cognizant of your facial expressions, the inflection of your voice, and the sensitivity of your statements. Being polite is not about conforming, it is all about comforting, and for harmony’s sake, somebody’s got to do it! You may also want to check out the Miss Manners column index in the lifestyle section of MSN.com anytime you are not sure which fork to use or what gift you should get for your parent’s 25th wedding anniversary. • Create a Healthy Inner Voice: It may sound like a crazy suggestion, especially if you are already hearing voices (of the non-recommended kind), but why not plant a friendly, strong, and objective voice amongst the rabble? Create an inner monologue, a voice that sorts out information that comes your way and observations that you make. This voice will not only help you make sense of the world around you but will help you process information quicker and more efficiently. It will make order out of the chaos swirling around in your mind. Make the voice an objective one, one that can speak louder than your inner critic and can guide you to do what you really should be doing, even if you don’t particularly feel like doing it. This voice can coax you into going to the gym when you don’t feel like it, or can provide you with motivation and enough confidence to give a rousing speech at school. Just don’t tell closed-minded people about your new “imaginary friend” or the men in the white coats may be called to your rescue. • Have House Meetings: Squabbling with housemates is among one of the greatest causes of stress for young women. Whether they be your parents, siblings or roommates, it is best to work out petty problems before they escalate into all-out screaming matches, complete with slamming doors, squealing tires, and bored neighbors peering out the windows to see your “scene”. Use house meetings to delegate duties fairly, to civilly address complaints, and most importantly, to instill a feeling of harmony and unity among all members. • Take Advantage of Time: Schedule difficult tasks and challenges for the time during the day when you are at your productivity-peak, when you tend to think clearly and sharply and have the most energy. Not only will the task be less stressful, but you are setting yourself up for success. You say that you are tired and groggy all day long? Well then, you would definitely benefit from regular exercise and eight to ten glasses of water a day. You say you can’t accomplish a challenging task without caffeine? If you must resort to caffeine, save on calories and prevent jitters by opting for a caffeine pill cut in half, rather than a creamladen cup of java. Don’t consume the entire pill or you will be up all night with a stomach ache. • Problem Solve Like a Pro: Don’t ever get stuck stewing on a problem again. Instead, try the following approach. You can apply this strategy to any type of problem you encounter: 1. Identify the problem. 2. Pull the problem apart, studying it from every angle. 3. Brainstorm and make a list of possible solutions. 4. Implement one of the solutions. 5. After you’ve given the strategy sufficient 209 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology test time, evaluate the situation. 6. Keep trying different strategies until the problem has been solved. 7. If the problem is one that cannot be solved, seek help so that you can better deal with its presence in your life. • Create a Diversion: Intense focus on a task increases the output of the stress hormone cortisol in your body. However, you can lower the level by taking brief breaks every hour or so. At work, walk around the office, go outside for 5 minutes or look out the window. Experts say that for maximum sanity you should leave your desk for a few minutes once every hour. This is also good for your eyes as they need breaks from your computer monitor. At home, take a walk, or get a glass of orange juice. Just don’t let the ease of the break seduce you into breaking from the task all together. • Tell Your Brain to Relax: When you feel tension, run your hands under warm water or rub them together briskly. This will open the blood vessels, which signals your brain to relax. • Exercise Your Expressions: Many studies suggest practicing facial expressions for different moods in front of your mirror. Try fascination, anger, and confusion. You will become more focused on your emotions, and thus will have more control over them. • Wander the Years: When lying bed before drifting off to sleep, try to remember as many things as possible that occurred during a particular era of your life, like that summer that you lived in the beach house or that fall you went nightclubbing in Montreal. Why? Not only will you remember specific events, but the emotions and inspirations that went along with them, giving you a different perspective on your life now. 210 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology 5 Scientifically-Sound Ways to Instant Happiness While the term “instant happiness” sounds as though it comes straight from the vernacular of late night infomercial hosts, the following five ideas are proven to be instant mirthmakers: Smile: Just by “turning your frown upside down” you cast off your emotional shackles with a flick of the switch. A smile doesn’t even have to be sincere and you will feel better immediately following it anyway. Try it and see. Laugh Boisterously: Researchers have found that by simply laughing you can improve your mood. Let your mirth and merriment get the better of you by looking at life with a more humorous spin. All it takes sometimes is a good, hearty, side-aching chuckle to lighten your load. So yuck it up with some zany friends once in a while. Rent comedy movies often and go to comedy clubs for a new kind of night on the town. I recommend the movie, This is Spinal Tap. Sit in the Sunshine: Only with SPF 15 or higher, of course. This way you will take in the visual phenomenon that is nature and get your mood-boosting vitamin D at the same time. Many studies show that just a little sunshine each day can boost your mood significantly! But what do you do in the winter, when it’s too cold to sit outside? Many people suffer from moderate to severe depression in the winter months only due to the gloomy weather. If this describes you, you might benefit from light therapy. These special lights synchronize your levels of serotonin and melatonin in your brain. It is scientifically proven to reduce anxiety, depression, irritability, fatigue, strong food cravings, difficulty concentrating, mental cloudiness, sleep and social problems. The Winter Bright comes with a 30 day money back guarantee. It is $317.95. A 5 month installment plan is also available. Call (1-800) 906-7755 for order information. Count your blessings. “When you’re worried and you can’t sleep, count your blessings instead of sheep. And you’ll fall asleep counting your blessings.” So went the words to one of the most memorable tunes from the movie White Christmas. It is very reassuring and spiritual to run down a mental list about everything that you are thankful for in your life. It is a very comforting and gratifying experience as you realize how many blessings you really have- from the ability to get a mocha coffee masterpiece in the morning to the privilege of never having to get out of the car to make a bank deposit. Before you go to bed, review all the good things that have happened or all the things you have been blessed with. You can review all the good things that have happened that day, all the accomplishments you’ve made whether big or small. You can also do this by week, month, year or life time. You will motivate yourself by seeing that good things really do come to you, especially when you work hard for them. This will keep you inspired and excited. This is also a very spiritual way to show your gratitude to God or your higher power. You will develop an “attitude of gratitude”, as they say. You will fall asleep feeling safe, faithful, accomplished, fulfilled, hopeful, motivated, excited and inspired. Then the next morning you’ll be all charged up about your exercising and journal writing. Look on the Bright Side: Sure it sounds like the biggest clichéd suggestion of all time, but what happens when you really do shift your perspective toward the positive, see the glass as 211 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology half full? Ask yourself, “What else could this mean?” You will begin to problem solve like a pro. Pretty soon, when a challenging situation arises you will ask yourself, “How can I turn this into a good thing” or at the very least, “How can I turn this into something that I can live with?” How do you make “lemons out of lemonade?” I successfully met this challenge today. I was disappointed in myself because I didn’t get a specific thing accomplished today so I turned my blues around by doing about a dozen other things instead which turned out to be a lot more important to my future. So find the silver lining (I don’t think I could have squeezed anymore clichéd sayings into this paragraph if I tried). Other Ways to Keep Your Blues at Bay • It’s All in the Attitude: Few people realize the impact that their attitude has on their life. There are enormous benefits. First of all, if you have a positive attitude about everything that you do, you will seldom be bored and will put great effort into everything which will satisfy you as far as the challenge this represents and the accolades that will automatically follow. Secondly, people with positive attitudes get along with others better and therefore experience more smooth sailing among family and friends and fewer unpleasant confrontations. And finally, a positive attitude will help you to believe in yourself, your abilities and your future. Your new confidence will allow you to harness the power of self-fulfilling prophecy. Practice developing an “attitude of gratitude”. • Lock Up the Scary Fun House: The band Nirvana seems to have named itself in a brilliantly ironic way. To simplify, the word nirvana, represents a state that one achieves only by losing consciousness of the self. Nirvana’s lyrics on the other hand were darkly introspective and some represent the scary depths of what one’s mind can conjure up when turning daringly inward. This is why Kurt Cobains lyrics resonate with so many people. Try to look outside yourself more often and you can free yourself from some of the “darker realm” of thinking. Introspection is healthy however, and you should not cut it out all together. Channel some of your darker thoughts into your art. This can represent a form of catharsis and can be therapeutic as long as you don’t let these thoughts turn into the “fun house” mirror-style, tragic, distorted thinking that is conducive to bringing on feelings of depression. Lock them away, unless you are choosing to write about them as journal therapy, talk about them at counseling or otherwise process them in a positive way. You are no longer allowed to let them torture you for no good reason. • Something to Look Forward to: A good way to keep the blues at bay is to always have something to look forward to. Some people get depressed when they feel like the fun is about to come to an end. This bluesy feeling can creep in at anytime. It may be the last day of your Martinique tropical island vacation, or you may be on the last few bites of your Taco Bell Bean Burrito. If all good things come to an end, it is your job to always have the next good thing planned. What do you have to look forward to when your vacation has ended and your back home? A romantic rendezvous with your boyfriend that you haven’t seen in a week? Or a trip to the mall to buy sundresses to show off your new tan? What will you do later tonight, 212 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology after your burrito is gone? Burn the calories with a moonlit stroll enhanced by your favorite tracks on your Ipod? Or will your favorite television show be on? Remind yourself of what your next pleasurable activity will be and your spirits will stay afloat. • Reward Yourself: Do you have to do something that you can’t stand today? Is today the day that you pay your bills, or do your laundry, and thinking about it just gets you down? Plan to reward yourself at the completion of the activity. Go to your favorite restaurant, or take a dip in the pool. The reward does not have to cost money or calories. A bubble bath may do the trick. • Goal Getter: Write a list of goals and take an action step toward one of them. Goal setting is exciting. It represents a commitment of striving for a better future. By putting it on paper you are enforcing and engraving your commitment it in your mind. • Take a Walk Outside. Fresh air, escapism and much scope for the imagination await you outdoors. Staying inside all day can feel like stagnation. Move around outside and remind yourself that you’re still alive. Your spirit will be sprung from its cage. • Charitable Cheer: Stop feeling bad about yourself already! Are you a self-beaterupper? Do you criticize yourself all day, everyday? Do you feel shame and guilt often? Well, stop speaking to yourself in a manner in which you would never treat a friend. To hush the voice, give to a charity or do something nice for somebody. How can you self-critique after that? • Chase Waterfalls. Even though the song tells you not to, it is good to chase waterfalls, as it is scientifically proven that they make you feel happier and more positive. Cool, falling water releases negatively charged ions that improve your mood. The rushing sound of water is also soothing and invigorating. Can’t get to a waterfall today? Run through a sprinkler at in your backyard or take a cool shower. Turn Off that Tube Once in Awhile Studies show that if you really care about being happy, you will want to turn it off for the majority of your day. And when you do watch television, be very selective about what you watch. This way you eliminate your exposure to the all-consuming, pervasive media. A study released by the Kaiser Foundation in 1999 reported that children aged 2 to 18 who got the most media exposure during their day (6 ½ hours was the mean time) were less contended than those who got less media exposure (and therefore read and wrote more). The Kaiser report concluded that when results showed that "a measure of children's contentedness and social adjustment are strongly and inversely related to the amount of media exposure and to at least some common aspects of kid's media environments”, and that “alarms should sound." But why, when television is designed to entertain us, would it actually contribute to our feelings of discontentedness? Television is a passive activity. The viewer is not required to assertively activate her thought her processes or to restructure her perception. While one may acknowledge that 213 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology she is being “entertained”, as is evidenced by the glittering pixels and Technicolor glow before her, she might still feel an unconscious sense of discontentedness, a recognition that she is languishing, allowing skills and talents to lie dormant. When we allow ourselves to continually get sucked into the ever-present, cheap thrill that is the vortex they call television, we do ourselves a great disservice. We allow ourselves to get tangled up in hokey plot lines and to be cued by a laugh track on when to find something funny. All the while, we put real life on hold and keep our goals as abstract prospects. Television viewing, like rabid alcohol consumption and binge eating, is a temporary solution to life’s woes and doldrums. Yet excessive television viewing is not viewed as a self-destructive vice worthy of its own twelve-step program. This is because the television set itself, with its frenetic, exciting view of the world, has been exalted to the role of the noble messenger… the town crier… the connection between us nobody people in our aluminum sided houses and that mythical arbiter of everything…the media. We need the television on all the time, at least as background noise, lest we do something that the media thinks we should not do. Like wear something from last season…oh no! The media through television has become the controller of our lives. The television provides a diversion. It sweeps us away from our current problems. The problem is that books and other creative endeavors can do the same thing while supporting our growth as a person and nurturing our mental capabilities. And by spending less time by the television’s warm glow, we will learn how to form our own opinions and find things in the world that we actually enjoy doing. So relegate television as an activity to do in moderation. Soon, after you find contentment in doing, you will begin to think of television as a vicarious experience leaving much to be desired. 214 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part Three: Spirit Chapter 18 How to Have Great Relationships On an episode of Oprah, a dying father gave his daughter advice for the day when she would start to like boys. He said that she could save herself a lot of heartache and pain if she “pays attention not to what they say but to what they do”. I think this is very sage advice for people of any age. Don’t think you can change someone who is promising you the world in the future but contributing nothing in the present. If he says he will stop doing what he shouldn’t be doing but keeps on doing it anyway, it’s time to let him go. To stay would only be hurting yourself, not helping him. Relationships with other people are one of the most spiritual forms of experience we can have. A relationship is an opportunity to give and be selfless. Strong, nurtured relationships are essential for emotional health and happiness and for feeling fulfilled. Countless studies have supported the fact that the healthiest, happiest people have a strong “network” of people that they can count on for emotional support in both times of need and in every day to day living. When you feel you are unconditionally loved you begin to feel a confidence and faith in yourself and your abilities. Therefore it is essential that you prioritize your relationships with your family, friends, and your significant other. The happiest people are also those who are just nice in general. Happy people have selfrespect because they treat others with respect. They are kind-hearted. They try to see the good things about people. They are non-judgmental. They are helpful. They try to be open emotionally to show others that they are appreciated and valued. Make All Your Relationships Great The law of the universe is that the more you give to others, whether it be money, kindness, compliments, emotional support, etc…the more you get. It’s not that you necessarily get material items or money, although this is often true as being good attracts good things, but you get a higher self esteem and sense of fulfillment when you put the feelings of others into consideration and try to make the world a better, more comfortable place for everybody. If kindness, generosity, helpfulness and support are your priorities, you are also going to attract these things into your life. People often put their relationships with others on the backburner while they strive for monetary or status goals. This is a defeatist attitude. If you neglect your relationships you are neglecting 215 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology yourself and cultivating a poor self-esteem, rife with feelings of guilt and selfishness. So you must nurture your relationships. How do you do this? Here are some essential strategies: • Better Your Relationship with God First: Get in tune with the Almighty if you want the ultimate in healing and if you want to learn to allow yourself to be loved by others. Ask God to bless the people you care about and to help them to be happy, healthy and achieve their goals. Ask God to help you make your relationships better starting with the one between you and Him (or Her, whatever you believe is right). • Better Yourself First: You truly can’t have good relationships with others if you don’t love or care about yourself, as clichéd as that sounds. It is the truth. If you feel bad about yourself or have low self-esteem you will have a tendency to exhibit negative character traits like bitterness, pessimism, annoyance, and frustration. In order to treat people with the greatest level of kindness and generosity possible you must treat yourself with the greatest level of kindness and generosity. This book was dedicated to motivating you to take better care of your body, mind, and spirit, and to give you the strategies to make a quantum leap in all of those areas. Reread this book often to cement these principles and strategies in your mind. Make a list of all the things that you must do or change to become the ultimate version of yourself so that your self-esteem will sky rocket. Once you begin to treat yourself with kindness and importance, treating others with the same respect will just come naturally because you will be in a much better mood and spiritual place yourself. Give Time: The more time you give to others, the more you bond, and the more they know that you truly love and appreciate them. Choose activities that you both enjoy. Spending time with a loved one should never feel like a chore. Visit often, invite them over for dinners, go to the movies together, an amusement park, a day trip, go shopping, go swimming, etc…The greatest way to bond is to go on vacation together as being in a new environment often triggers the most positive emotions from people and this healthy interchange will create a stronger bond. Give Support: Let your friends, family, and relationship partner know that you will always be there for them, if they need emotional support, or if they need your time. Make helping those in your life a top priority, before any of your other goals, and this sense of fulfillment will transcend and motivate you in all areas of your life anyway. You can’t find success and fulfillment if you’re coming from a place where you feel guilt because you are neglecting those that care about you. Feel honored that they love and respect you and think highly enough of you to come to you in their time of need. Address the problems they are having in your prayers and give them advice. Has your uncle been diagnosed with a terminal disease? Share with him how important staying hopeful, productive, and emotionally expressive are for longevity. Mental and physical health maintenance is an essential tool for staying healthy, happy and alive. Share hope and strategies with people. Share ideas in this book if you’d like. • • 216 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place • • • • by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Express Yourself: Let those you care about know that you love them. Tell them as often as possible, even if it is uncomfortable at first. If it is too uncomfortable to say, then write it in a letter or card, or show it with a caring gesture. How many times have we heard that when people pass on their loved ones wish they could have said, “I love you more” or wish they had spent more time with, or done more things with, or helped that person more. Don’t let that happen to you. Express yourself now while you still have the chance. Give Compliments: People really do enjoy a nice, sincere compliment. The key with compliments is to make it specific and meaningful. Instead of “I like your shoes”, try, “I like your shoes, you have such a creative sense of style”. Boosting other’s self esteem also boosts yours at the same time because you begin to see that you really are a nice person. Don’t be afraid to give deeper compliments. “You are such a caring person”, or “I love you because you are always so respectful to people”. So give compliments generously. They are precious gifts that cost nothing, but could make someone feel a hundred times better than things you can buy. You can make their day or their year, for that matter. And compliments increases the happiness level of all those around you, which makes a better, healthier environment for you. Invite them Into Your Mind: Introduce the ones you care about to the things that you are extremely passionate about. Play that awesome song you just heard, recommend that movie that stayed in your head for a month after you saw it, show them the poetry you’ve been writing. Let people into your mind, let them see the world the way you see it. When someone introduces someone else to something they love and they both end up being crazy about it, that’s just another fabulous cementing of the bond. Then do the opposite. Ask people what their favorite music, movie, restaurant, hobby, book or vacation destination is and experience it yourself, preferably with that person. Make Every Day a Special Occasion: Don’t wait until holidays and birthdays arrive to do nice things. You can make everyday special with just a compliment or a visit. There are many creative ways that you can show you care without having to spend money. Write letters, send cards, make phone calls, compliment them, give advice, tell them you love them, give them a seashell from your trip to the beach, write a poem, visit them, invite them to your house, etc…Give your time or creativity when you don’t have money. 217 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Creative Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship Bonds Spend more time with people. One of the biggest regrets people have after their loved ones die is “I wished I spent more time with him or her.” Well be proactive and spend time now while you still have it so you don’t have to ever feel that way. There are some great ways to fit bonding into your schedule below. If you think you don’t have time then multitask. Bring your friend to that movie you were going to see anyway or get together for lunch and then go to the hardware store. In other words, do an activity together that you were going to have to do anyway that will benefit both of you. This will add life to the mundane and will renew all of your relationships with people simultaneously. You will be bringing your relationships to a new level while you also cross things off your to-do list, and your list titled “Things I actually want to do”. The fun experienced with friends or family is an incentive for you to stick to your goals. It’s almost like you are taking boring appointments and turning them into fun social engagements. Wouldn’t you rather have a planner full of all types of fun penciled in? And you will stick with this schedule because the fun aspect that caps off the boring “to do” list aspect of your event together, will entice you to come back again and again. You will keep your “appointments” in other words by disguising them as fun “parties for two”, or three or four, how ever many friends and family you invite When you have to do something lame why not see if there is a way that a friend or family member could be incorporated into it. “Get Your To Do List Done” Bonding Ideas: • Go to the department store to buy the things on your list then go out to eat. • Buy your stuff at the mall and sample the food court together. • Go to the bookstore and talk on the ride up and on the ride back. Body-Enhancing Bonding Ideas If you are worried about the health of a friend or family member then why not go to the gym together, or take a walk around your neighborhood or swim together? If someone’s health is failing and they need an intervention, then chances are they are a little sad and desirous of your company. That way you are helping each other and bonding at the same time. This often makes for a much deeper bond. Have conversations or problem solving sessions as you work out. You tell them what is troubling you and they give their advice or visa versa. Check in on each other’s mindsets and spirits and help each other if they are negative or low. Here are some ideas for bonding with and helping each other at the same time • Go to a Weight Watcher meeting then go to Applebees’ to reward yourself if you both lost weight by dining on the Weight Watcher items on the menu. 218 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Go to the gym together then jump into the pool or hot tub. • Take a walk around the neighborhood and then cool off by jumping in the backyard pool. • Go shopping at the grocery store for healthy food then share a home-cooked healthy dinner. Lift weights while you have a conversation together. Not many people love to lift weights so why not add some conversational enjoyment to it. Just be careful. You might want to spot each other. • Mind-Enhancing Bonding Ideas: • Watch a movie together, then analyze it. Pretend you’re Ebert and Roeper. You will learn from each other’s opinions. • Take a class together. Whether it be jewelry making, drawing, financial management, entrepreneurial business, or French classes, maybe Mom would want to do it with you. Taking a class together will bond you, and gives you an instant study partner and contact person for your goal “network”, another resource of information. Check out your community colleges for affordable classes. • Read a book together. Haven’t hung out with Grandma lately? Form a book club and discuss her favorite books of yore, maybe some Gone With the Wind? • Play music or sing together. Haven’t hung out with Dad for awhile? Does he like to jam out on the guitar while you harmonize with your piano? If your aspiration is to make music you need to practice anyway right? Or just play for people that you haven’t seen in awhile. They will appreciate the free show. • Watch a drawing video at home. Can’t afford to go to a class or your Mom is not to into venturing into the public? Watch an educational video together at home. Spirit-Enhancing Bonding Ides: • Go to your place of worship together. • Go to a beautiful natural park or beach together. • Do volunteer work together. • Get involved in causes and activism together. • Engage in self-improvement courses or seminars together. 219 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Inspiring, Exciting Bonding Ideas: Many of the suggestions in “How to Have an Exciting and Inspiring Life”, Chapter 16, can be done with another person. But First…Forgive Yourself: If you are a person that feels guilty that you didn’t spend enough time with somebody who died, or didn’t say all you wished you could have said, forgive yourself, you are not a fortune teller, you did not know the future was coming so quickly. You can still communicate with that person through prayer or through letter writing, or by immortalizing your thoughts about them on paper. You can also honor that person’s memory in many, many ways. Create a piece of art (painting, novel, album) and dedicate it to them, or give a charitable contribution in their honor. Plant a tree in their memory or dedicate the attainment of one or your goals to them. Keep their legacy alive by keeping them living in happy memories or in stories you tell others. But most importantly, know that they would want you to forgive yourself. Soul Mate Search In order to attain the greatest level of fulfillment possible, you must be in a healthy relationship, or maybe you prefer to remain single and nurture all your other types of relationships. The choice is yours, both decision are good if they work for you personally. If you do decide to be in a relationship you should definitely get clarity on what it is you want from a relationship. Write down all the qualities the ideal mate would have. Then cultivate all of these qualities in yourself to attract this person. Go to the places where you think you would find such a person, whether it be a church, a school, a spiritual retreat, or a motivational seminar. Where would this person hang out? Probably in a positive environment, right? Unfortunately, many people do not look for people to date in positive environments. Be selective and don’t settle. Find someone who attracts you physically, mentally, and emotionally, someone with the same goals, same interests, and the same positive personality traits as you have. • Once you are in a relationship, remember that it is an ongoing project that can never be neglected. Ask the person to write down what they want out of the relationship and do the same thing yourself. What would your dream relationship be like…where would you go, what would you do, what goals would you work on together, what type of environment would you live in? Try to cultivate a united vision, one that considers both of your feelings. Always work on being a better person. Be patient, don’t jump the gun, don’t get angry over every little thing. Hear the reason behind the action. Don’t make assumptions. Don’t assume the worst. Don’t let anger build and build. Talk things out until forgiveness is reached. Don’t separate in anger. The more you are angry and hurtful with the other person, the more you hurt the relationship, and to hurt the relationship is to hurt yourself. • For a relationship to work both people need to be trustworthy, faithful, mature, rational and great communicators. Cultivate these traits by spending lots of time together and talking about your feelings frequently. Go on trips together and 220 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place • by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology introduce each other to the things that you are excited and inspired by to cement your bond. If you are reading a book like this you will probably be best with someone who shares your value of self-improvement on the body, mind, and spirit levels. If that is not the type of person you are with, or if the person you are with refuses to communicate, or grow as a person, you might want to reconsider your relationship. Remember that to settle with someone who brings you pain is to punish yourself. Leaving this person may be scary but you will have to do it if you want true happiness and fulfillment in all areas in your life. You should never be with someone who is emotionally or physically abusive as this will definitely interfere with your quest of creating the life of your dreams and becoming the ultimate version of yourself. Care about yourself and the other people in your life enough that you will take the initiative to separate yourself from pain. If you are in a painful relationship, and have let the other person know that they are putting you through pain, and they still have not shown any signs of improvement, you might want to reach out to the other relationships in your life…your family and friends, for advice or ideas on how to leave. You may also want to reach out to a counselor for help, and a strategy on how to leave with as little pain, anxiety, and fear as possible. Even though the song Fifty Ways to Leave a Lover by Paul Simon makes it sound easy (i.e. “you just slip out the back Jack…make a new plan Stan…hop on the bus Gus”, etc…), leaving a relationship is usually a painful and scary process, requiring courage and a strong vision of a better future. It is a scary process, which could end up being the greatest decision of your life, and well worth the temporary discomfort. Just don’t do it alone, get support. This is exactly the reason why you always need to be nurturing all the relationships in your “relationship network” and not just the one with your relationship partner, so that you have people to help you in the face of any type of storm. If you treat all your relationships as priorities, you will have the most supportive network possible. 221 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Part Three: Spirit Chapter 19 How to Nurture Your Spirit Be AWAKE So That You Can Receive Your Blessings Everybody, from the day they are born, should be taught that life is a blessing! Every single day, every single moment of the day, should be appreciated and attended to. Feel the day and all of your experiences at the highest possible intensity, seek the highest possible intensity! Turn the up the volume on everything…if you have to…or if you dare! And pick “dare” not “truth” once in awhile! Be an artistic adventuress! Let your imagination guide you! Be fully yourself! Be brave and life can be an adventure…not continuous routines of drudgery, but gems of time, ever-changing. Feel everything in its highest magnitude, at the highest possible altitude that your mind and soul can travel to! If you are alert, and mentally and spiritually awake, as opposed to being on autopilot, you will recognize the many blessings that each day provides…at least one breakthrough change…some level of comfort……some laughs, good food, beautiful things, seductive music, and new intense experiences that you can only gather when you are awake and in an “open state of mind”. This is the only true way to “live it up”, every other way involves some sort of deceit or fraud. When you are awake and alert you recognize and make use of your many talents…they are among your blessings with the most potential. Use your talents, make the most of every moment of everyday. When you are awake, you think on multiple levels, but for a common purpose. You are powerful. Ask yourself often, what could I do right now that will make life better for myself or for someone else (even better…more points!) You can change the world in an instant…not the whole world, maybe, but a significant part of it, however, small. Every part of the world is significant, so every positive change you make is worthwhile…think of the domino effect, the reverberation, the duplication that will naturally occur, as you influence the world and its people around you to maybe act in a way that they otherwise wouldn’t have thought of. Invest any energy you can spare toward the act of making yourself and the world better. If you are moving in a positive direction it is easier to think positively and then therefore your mood is as good as it can be as often as it can be… no matter what evil is going on in the world around you, you will feel hope as you are working to counter pointless negativity. Being attentive and alert guarantees that you will not be bored…keeps you informed, one step ahead of the game. You react faster, you speak clearer and you are a more efficient overall in the awake state. I would even go so far as to say that being awake, in that awake, alert and attentive state, is such a physical, mental and emotional 222 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology experience that it is 3 times for powerful than caffeine for energizing you! Being in an awake state is not something that you practice, you just do it. Get there, anyway you can! Try to Make Sense of the World around You “Why are we here? Although the phrase has become a cliché to represent feelings of neurotics and sci-fi buffs, it is something that we should all be asking ourselves everyday! What are the lessons of life? What would you write home about? What would you teach a “newbie”, a green girl, an alien from a different universe? What would you explain are the vital pieces of knowledge which she must have in arms, to be prepared to take on the world? What would you teach her so that she could understand how a more experienced earthling like yourself perceived the world, without having had the abundance of experiences that you had. What if you drew a graph to explain the purpose of life, a table to represent how life works…made a time continuum to represent history? It wouldn’t have the soul and the meat of emotion behind it that living gives you, of course. But what would the essentials consist of? What is most important to you? How would you explain everything…narrow down…everything…make sense of everything…can we really make sense of anything? (Whoah, that was quite tangential. Sorry.) Ever wanted to know who you are? Try summing up life in general. When I was a rebellious teenager, my life’s maxim looked something like this: Your born…and then you die… But you have as much fun as you can in the middle. Or would you start with Adam and work on down to Iggy Pop, fleshing out the traditional, schoolbook time continuum with your own quirks and unconscious preferences? How would your representation of life in general (ie. everything and anything) look? Narrow infinity down into digestible chunks. Not because you wanted to (because certainly that’s too Levit Town, too Lawrence Welk), but cause ya had to…to finally “get it” (ie. understand). This will give you a starting place for the next journey. Go ahead, create one… a chart, a graph, a family tree, a time continuum, anything you need to summarize “it all.” Then, have the utter privilege of standing back and beholding a visual of your perception, a framework from which you unconsciously saw the world. Now sit behind the controls of that perception and realize that it can be a lot better than this. Now take off. 223 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology How to Get in Touch with Your Spiritual Side • Forgive Yourself: Do not hate yourself for having done something in the past, for you are a different person everyday! Your mood changes every moment of every day! While you always retain your essential qualities- the core of who you really are, you are always changing in an infinite number of ways! Give yourself a break! Everyday you are doing different things, even if it’s your same old routine, and there is something different about you. Every second you are transformed! Why? Because you are learning! And sometimes you can’t learn without failing, or being miserable, or not “getting it”! When you have a hard time forgiving yourself or letting go of a past trauma or slip-up, say to yourself, “Each day I try a bunch of things that I have never done before, so everyday I am in a practice state.” You wouldn’t expect yourself to excel at everything the first time you try it would you? What if one day you find yourself angry over a small thing, like the fact that you bumped your elbow while brushing your teeth, and are feeling miserable about that. You think, “Well, I’ve brushed my teeth a million times before, have had tons of practice, so why was I clumsy enough to do that?” Well, you never brushed your teeth before under those very same circumstances…with the same distracting thoughts on your mind, in that robe with the droopy sleeves, while your sister was calling you from the other room and the phone was ringing. Did ya? So lighten up a bit and allow room for error (practice), especially in matters of the socially important kind. When you think about it, every conversation and interaction with another person is a practice (in that it was never rehearsed, (unless you are Meg Ryan and he is Tom Hanks and you’re on a movie set together…again.) So forgive yourself for stupid things you said, or for “going overboard” in the moment. You were feeling an energy or vibe then that you are not feeling when you are looking in retrospect. • Forget Your Grudges: Holding a grudge against somebody is equivalent to choosing to clog your mind with negativity. Paradoxically, you become the victim of the grudge as you spend days and sleepless nights ruminating on how much you dislike someone. Dwelling on anger-inducing matters takes up time and energy and is detrimental to you physically, mentally and emotionally. But some people are so hard to forgive, mainly abusive parents, callous exes, or people who hurt others you care about. A rule of thumb: If someone you knew did something so bad that you can’t forgive them, this may be one of those situations where you could benefit from therapy. • Lose the Powdered Wig, Mallet and Robe: Making judgments about other people is easy, especially since we don’t know that person’s history, the series of events that brought them to where they are right now. Perhaps, given the same path and set of circumstances, you would have made decisions that would cause you to end up in about the same predicament. There are an infinite number of qualities on which to base a judgment. But the truth is, you don’t know the whole story. So don’t slam down that mallet without giving the subject of your gossip a fair trial…and since this is not possible, the moral of the story is, let’s leave judgment to the All Mighty. 224 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology • Ethical Overhaul: Walter Lippman has pointed out that moralists who don’t attempt to explain the code of ethics that they advocate are often regarded as pharisaical and are therefore ignored. Do you ever think about your own code of conduct…your morals, values, or personal creed? Re-evaluation of your own ethical system is a just and fruitful way to spend your time. The best method of assessing your moral code is to ask yourself questions on a wide variety of topics from history, religion, philosophy, politics, and other subjects that involve people and their interaction with each other, the earth and its many life forms. Do you believe in the doctrine of utilitarianism, forwarded by Jeremy Bentham, which states that the ultimate goal of its ethical code is to promote the greatest level of happiness for the greatest number of people? Are you tolerant of other cultural and religious views? Do you make fun of and judge people who are different than you? How do you feel about people with a different sense of morality than you have? What are your views on democracy, socialism, capitalism, and constitutional monarchies? If you could form your own utopian society, what type of government would it have and how would it impact your daily life? Would your society be more literate, philosophical, spiritual, artistic, or loving than our own? How do you feel about our modern media, the shows on television, the current music scene, current events, pop culture, and how would you change any of these? What do you think the role of religion in a society should be? Can you understand one or both of the causes of the opposing factions of the Crusades, the French Revolution or the War of 1812? Also ask yourself questions about you personally and what you like to do and what you would never do because you think that it is wrong. What would you never even consider doing and why? Why do you do the things that you do? Do they benefit just you, your friends, your family, or the community at large? Once you are aware of your ethical stance, you can make any adjustments that you deem necessary. You will find that the more you learn and study life, the more adjustments you may need to make. Where knowledge is, wisdom often follows. • Turn Off the Idiot Box: You can’t exactly reach nirvana, the highest state of consciousness according to Buddhists, where the soul is free from all desires and attachments, during super bowl commercial break. The constant barrage of advertisements every few minutes on television isn’t exactly allowing us to forget about ourselves and to become one with the universe, when they sing to us that we can’t possibly be happy in the present state that we are in because we do not have this or that item. Television is sustained by advertising and by its very nature is a perpetual montage of desire-inducing propaganda. You are told to want, want, want, and the only way to sate this lust is to purchase, purchase, purchase. Television and its bombardment of narrow ideas and false, glammed-up reality can be mindnumbing and soul-draining if watched in excess. So turn the television off once in a while and silence its message that you are nothing without this look or that product. And when you are watching television, remember that the “suits” on Madison Avenue get paid to appeal to your inferiority complexes, not your intellect. • Nix the Jealousy: Jealousy over clothes, talents, boyfriends, makeup, cars, furniture, homes, bank accounts, youth, education levels and figures? What a waste of energy! Should we really go through life thinking of every one else with 225 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology something we value as a threat or competitor? If that’s how you’ve been living all along it’s time to retract your cat claws and join the sisterhood. Of course jealousy, being completely natural, is going to manifest itself from time to time, although this could be less often if you make an earnest attempt to rationalize it away. Instead of feeling that someone else’s light needs to be dim in order for yours to be perceived as bright, why not revel in the fact that someone else is making her dreams manifest themselves right before her eyes and rejoice in the fact that you could do the same if you so choose. Admire the effort that she must have put forth. Why not allow yourself to become inspired by someone else’s success? And if you happen to feel as if someone else is encroaching on your field of expertise, why not delight in the fact that someone else shares your level of enthusiasm for the very same passion. You’ve found a “kindred spirit” as my friend Anne of Green Gables would say! • Be a Church Explorer: In the novel I am writing, Midnight in the Dimly Lit Room, one of my characters was raised Catholic. At eighteen she hadn’t been to church for six years when she is one day suddenly “lured in by the seductively beautiful stained glass windows” while walking down the street. The rest of the chapter describes how her imagination runs rampant, as she sits on the pew, analyzing every word, nuance and thought she has within those hallowed walls . In preparing to write this very descriptive passage, I felt that the very emotional nature of her experience called for absolute authenticity. Even though I am not a Catholic, I visited a Catholic church, and sat on the pew as Dawn, my character, interpreting every thing as she would. The experience was so surreal that I have been an avid church explorer ever since. For me, it is exercise to keep my mind wide-open. I plan to visit churches, temples, and mosques, among other things. My spiritual exploration has shown me that across the innumerable different kinds of religions in the world our beliefs are more similar than different. After all, I haven’t heard of many religions that do not advocate belief in truth, justice, and kindness, have you? Just be wary of how some people twist religious doctrine to suit their own questionable agendas! • Give to Charity: To make this a truly spiritual experience, give anonymously as often as possible. You will know that you are a generous soul and you are the only one who needs to know. • Volunteer: If life seems utterly unfulfilling, like a series of consecutive failures, maybe you should shift your focus and energy outside of yourself . When you volunteer it is very, very hard for you to feel bad about yourself. Try it! Log onto Voa.org to contact Volunteers of America or dial (800) 899 0089. 226 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Please Help Keep This Book Up-to-Date Thank you so much for reading this book. I hope you enjoyed it. It took me 12 years to write it. Because of the nature of this book, and the fact that it contains phone numbers and website addresses, its information is constantly changing and may be in need of updating and correction. Please help me keep this information as up-to-date as possible, so the most people can benefit. If you come across any phone numbers or websites that have been discontinued or changed please contact me at: Editor@Celebrity-Beauty-Tip-Goldmine.com Corrections and updates will be made in future editions of this book. An up-to-date online version of this book will always be available to you if you should run into any dead ends on your printed copy. This version will be accessible to you via a secret username and password. For more information, please contact me at: Editor@Celebrity-Beauty-Tip-Goldmine.com 227 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Your Ultimate Life Workbook: Copy the following workbook, either by typing it into a word processor and printing it out, or by hand into the notebook that you use. This will help you organize your life: List Your Life’s Goals: List the Things You Would Like to Remember to Do Each Day: I call this your Prescription for Happiness. Need some ideas? You can use the list below or change it to your liking beneath it. Prescription for Happiness: Read a page from religious or spiritual book. Journal Take a walk. Strength Train Stretch 8 Glasses of water, Eat fruits Eat veggies Eat protein Eat carbs Eat fat Vitamins and minerals supplement 228 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place Medication Hydrotherapy Massage Grooming Homework for school or work Goal activities Self Improvement Spontaneous Time Housework Organize House and Car Maintenace 229 by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Now List Things that You Will Need to Achieve These Goals: If you are not sure you can use the list below. Or change it beneath it. To Do List To Pay To File To Read Medication List hung up Prescription for Happiness List hung up Calendar Bulletin Board 230 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Now Write a Grocery List of the Healthy Foods and Products You Need: Refer back to this list whenever you go to the grocery store. 231 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology Now Write a List of Other Products You Need to Keep Stocked: This list would include grooming items, beauty items, stationary items, cleaning items etc…Refer to this list when you go shopping to make sure you remember everything. 232 Princessa: A Guide for She Who Takes First Place by Sara Liz, M.A. Psychology References Attacking Anxiety & Depression, by Lucinda Bassett, (Midwest Center 2001). How to Conquer Clutter, by Stephanie Culp (Writer’s Digest Books, 1989). Life Coaching for Dummies, by Jeni Mumford (John Wiley & Sons, 2007). Managing Your Mind: The Mental Fitness Guide, by Gillian Butler, Ph.D. and Tony Hope, M.D. (Oxford University Press, 1995). Natural Energy Boosters, by Carlson Wade (Parker Publishing Company, 1993). Outsmarting Femaile Fatigue, by Debra Waterhouse, M.P.H., R.D. (Hyperion, 2001). Organizing from the Inside Out, by Julia Morgenstern (Henry Holt & Company, 1998). The Beauty of Color, by Iman and Tia Williams (G.P. Putnam’s Sons, 2005). The Black Book of Hollywood Beauty Secrets, by Kym Douglas and Cindy Perlman (Penguin Group, 2006). The Confident Woman, by Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz (Random House, 1999). The Daring Females Guide to Ecstatic Living: 30 Dares for a More Gutsy and Fulfilling Life, by Natasha Kogan (Hyperion, 2006). The Go Girl Guide, by Julia Bourland (Contemporary Books, 2000). The Happiness System for Women, by Alexandra Watson (AW Publishing, 2005). The World’s Best Kept Beauty Secrets, by Diane Irons (Sourcebooks, 1997). Three Black Skirts, by Anna Johnson (Workman Publishing, 2000). Fitness Magazine New Beauty Magazine Self Magazine Shape Magazine Women’s World Magazine 233