SIDS and Kids Queensland April 2012 Edition

Transcription

enigma
SIDS and Kids Queensland
April 2012 Edition
We would like to say a huge thank you to
Tiina Cook from Strategy and Action
who has generously donated
her time to design this edition
of our magazine.
contents
Enigma | SIDS and Kids Queensland
SIDS and Kids Queensland publishes
Enigma twice a year in support of individuals
and families who have lost a baby or child
regardless of the cause
Our Mission Statement
To reduce the rate of stillbirths, neonatal
deaths and SIDS and to provide ongoing
bereavement support to families who have
experienced the death of a child, including
sudden and unexpected deaths
Management Committee
President
Michael Ward
Vice President Michele Freemantle
(Inaugural Life Member)
Treasurer
Mark Jones
Secretary
Carly Ashwood
Member
Professor Paul Colditz
Member
Michelle Pollitt
Contact Details
The Todd Freemantle Centre
68 Creek Road, Mt Gravatt QLD 4122
PO Box 241 Mt Gravatt QLD 4122
Ph
Fax
07 3849 7122
07 3849 7121
24 Hour Bereavement Support Line
1800 628 648
Email
Web
queensland@sidsandkids.org
www.sidsandkids.org/qld
www.rednoseday.com.au
Publication Rights | Enigma
SIDS and Kids Queensland’s policy is to provide a
medium for communication between members and
friends of SIDS and Kids Queensland. Opinions
and views expressed in Enigma are not necessarily
the opinion or view of SIDS and Kids Queensland,
unless otherwise stated.
Team Member Messages
Red Nose Day 2012
Memorial Service
Events
Feature Article
Precious Memories
Your Story
Donations in Loving Memory
Remembrance Dates
4
6
7
8
11
15
25
32
34
Original Articles are welcomed.
Editorial rights are reserved.
No part of Enigma may be reproduced without
appropriate prior permission. Acknowledgement
of SIDS and Kids Queensland and/or the author is
required.
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24 Hour Bereavement Support 1800 628 648
| enigma APRIL 2012 | 3
ceo’s message
counsellor’s message
Derek Brown
Esther Elliott
MBA (INTERNATIONAL)
aBSc, PGDipMLSc,
GDipGENC, M.A.C.A (2)
CEO SIDS AND KIDS QLD
COUNSELLOR
There is a quote that says
“the only person who likes
change is a baby with a dirty
nappy”. We can also be
certain that the only constant
in life these days seems to be
change. Changes at home, in
our work and society is a
regular part of life that we all seem familiar with but can find
difficult or challenging to embrace or understand at times.
In stark contrast however, one thing I have personally
experienced and witnessed all my life is that a Mother’s love
for her children (both past and present) no matter what the
circumstance does not change. With very few guaranteed
constants in life today – what a truly amazing accomplishment
this is throughout a person’s life. Something that quite
possibly, only a mother could do and nobody else.
No matter who you are and what station of life you find
yourself at right now, let us all take the time on Mother’s Day
to reflect on a Mother’s love – a love that endures forever. An
unconditional love that can outlast any circumstance and even
outlast our memories.
I wish you peace, happiness, hope and much love for all your
loved ones, this Mother’s Day.
I hope you all enjoy this edition
of Enigma, as much as you
have enjoyed the printed
versions. We are all passionate
about striving to improve the
quality, content and support
this magazine offers. Thank
you for your understanding during this transitional time.
It’s been another difficult patch with more natural disasters and
adverse weather, which may have brought back memories
from early in 2011. With these tough times comes a greater
need for self care and awareness. Take some time out to be
with your friends and family and to do the things you enjoy.
Mother’s day is also creeping near and for many of you this
is a bitter sweet day. Preparing yourself for what the day may
bring may help you to tackle any difficulties. Make a plan of
what you would like to do on the day and share it will the rest
of the family. That way everyone else will know how you are
feeling and what you would prefer to do that day. Remember
the Memorial Garden is always open for you to come in and
spend some special time with your child. If you do have some
concerns on your mind, you are welcome to phone or come in
and see me anytime. There is also a special page in Enigma
for mother’s day called ‘Chocolates and Tear Drops’.
Keep an eye out on the new support groups, workshops
and events that will be on offer this year. By following us on
Facebook, you’ll be sure to stay in the know. I hope the rest
of the year is filled with peace, comfort and love. I know your
journey through grief is a very difficult one, but know that you
are not alone in your grief. SIDS and Kids and our families are
always on hand to offer support.
Yours sincerely,
Derek Brown
CEO
SIDS & Kids QLD
administration message
Warm regards, Esther
Welcome to this edition of our Enigma magazine. I have the privilege of being one of the new
editors of the magazine and we are very passionate about making this the best magazine
possible. To help us to do this I invite you all to send me your feedback on what you liked (and
what you didn’t like) and any suggestions you have.
We have introduced a new section in this edition called “Your Story” to complement our
“Precious Memories” pages. While the Precious Memories pages are dedicated to sending a
message to your child, Your Story is an opportunity for anyone (parent, grandparent, aunty or
uncle) who has experienced the loss of a child to write about their life after the loss. The story
could be about the day of the loss, how it has changed your life’s journey, how it has changed
you as a person, or anything else you would like to write about. We have some beautiful stories
for you to read in this edition.
Kim Bell
We look forward to receiving your submissions for the December edition.
Please send them to queensland@sidsqld.com.au
Warm wishes,
Kim
EDITORS: Kim Bell and Esther Elliott. DESIGNER: Tiina Cook.
I was thinking of you today,
And how painful it might be,
To have lived through the death of your child
When that was never the way
You saw their life to be.
On this day when children honor their mother…
Though they are not here to tell you,
Always their mother, you shall be.
For though your child has died before you,
So painful to imagine.
Your child lives on within you,
And to all who know you well.
The light of your child will always
Return to touch you;
And in a quiet voice, whisper words of love.
This is not a mother’s day you ever planned.
That sorrow and loss, I respect.
Words do not say enough.
My thoughts are with you on a day
Of sadness and memories,
For you, their mother.
- Anon
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red nose
day 2012
fundraising news
This year we celebrate 25 years of Red
Nose Day. To celebrate the Queensland
office are doing “Decorate a Red Nose”.
As many of you may already know we are asking families
if they would like to decorate a Red Nose. Once we have
received all of the noses back we hope to be able to find an
artist to put them all together to make a piece of art.
You can decorate it anyway you would like, here are a few
ideas – use sequins, glitter, tiny photo’s of your child, jewels or
paint it.
We will start sending the noses out to everyone in April so
please let us know if you would like to take part by emailing
Kim at queensland@sidsqld.com.au or call 3849 7122.
BURNT ORANGE CAFE:
In Memory Fundraiser
An event was held recently
at the Burnt Orange Cafe at
Scarborough in memory of
Greg and Deborah and Glen
and Jeanine’s babies sadly
lost at the end of 2010.
Funds raised on the night have been kindly
donated to SIDS and Kids Queensland.
The event was organised by Deborah,
Jeanine, Barbara Kassimatis and Francis
Borg (SIDS and Kids external counselor)
with the help of many others.
A big thank you to everyone
involved for your hard work
and dedication to make this
event happen.
memorial service
Our December 2011 Memorial:
What a wonderful service it was, with around
100 attendees coming together to remember
and celebrate our children.
Many parents chose to read out their child’s name as their
images were proudly displayed up on screen. The soft tones
of the choir helped to make it was a touching service that
reflected the love and community spirit from all who attended.
We had beautiful gift bags filled with lovingly donated items
and the service closed with a heart warming butterfly release
and afternoon tea. We would like to say another big thank you
to Butterfly Releases for their very generous assistance with
the butterflies. It was one of the high-lights of the day.
The service was also made that much more special from
the donated gifts and assistance offered by our volunteers.
Your support means more than you know! We look forward to
seeing you all once again this December.
Our doors are always open to new families, so please come
along and celebrate your child with us.
THANKS TO:
Australian Catholic University
Carly Marie
Keryn Lapwood
Dot Ewing
Jan Price
Queensland University
Musical Society
Butterfly Releases
Kylie Darbey
Helen Baumann
Von Barns
Chris Slilva
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coming event
relaxation and meditation
workshop
SIDS and Kids will be holding a
Relaxation and Meditation workshop at
our Mt Gravatt office on Saturday the
5th of May from 10am to 11.30am.
It will be facilitated by Kevin McNamara (www.
motherswhohavelostachild.com) and our Counselor
Esther Elliott.
If you would like to attend please RSVP by
Wednesday 2nd of may to
estherelliott@sidsqld.com.au or 3849 7122.
Wear your comfy clothes and come and relax with
us. We look forward to seeing you on the day!
scrap for yaz journal decorating day
The SIDS and Kids group joined Yasminah’s
Gift of Hope group for a Journal decorating
day in memory of Yasminah Aziz.
These beautiful journals were by mums who
have lost a child as well as our Support Team
at SIDS and Kids.
The journals will be donated to bereaved
parents in the hope of offering them some
comfort during a very difficult time. This day is
a reminder that bereaved parents are never
alone in their loss.
Find Hope to keep you strong…
Find Light to lead the way…
Find Love all around you…
And Happiness one day
Scrap for Yasminah
SIDS and Kids Mt Gravatt
23 March 2012
treasured
babies
boxes
an invitation for
our mothers...
A national Study headed by Social
Worker and Researcher Stephanie
Azri would like to invite women who
have received a prenatal diagnosis
at any stage and were offered to
terminate their pregnancy (regardless
of option chosen) are invited to
participate in a research study
looking at the effects of psychosocial
support on women’s well being after
a prenatal diagnosis.
The study will involve a survey.
For more information or to
participate, please contact
Stephanie on 0403774459 or
s-azri@myoffice.net.au
If you would like to discuss this study
with our Counsellor Esther Elliott, you
are welcome to email for call us on
estherelliott@sidsqld.com.au
or 3849 7122
Esther has had the pleasure of delivering
donated gifts items to hospitals across
Brisbane, Ipswich and the Gold Coast.
The Treasured Babies Boxes are filled with beautiful knitted
clothing and blankets, washers, naming certificates and
teddies, all of which have been lovely made and donated by
our supporters.
We also regularly donate knitted items to the coroner and
funeral parlours. By offering these items, we hope to bring a
little comfort and support to newly bereaved parents.
Thank you again for your generous
donations.
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assisting grief
Thank you to the following individuals and companies who can offer exclusive services to our
parents and families to remember their baby and child, and help them along their journey of grief.
close to the heart
names in the sand
Sue Jordan specialises in personalised
memorial jewellery. She helps to create
a memory that is both a cathartic and
therapeutic experience.
A dream inspired me to visit the beach and write
Christian’s name in the sand. Since that day in the
winter of 2008 I have written over 10,400 children’s
names in the sand.
Capture poems, images, flowers,
fingerprints or ashes in fine silver
lockets, memory balls, keepsakes, or
bracelets to keep close to the heart.
It is a simple act that recognises a life. Christian’s
sunset photograph has brought us much peace. It
is framed next to photos of our beautiful girls and
reminds anybody that we did have a son and that he is
just as loved as our girls are.
5% of sales is donated to SIDS and
Kids Queensland to assist in a range of
bereavement support services.
www.sueellasignatures.com.au
Visit my online seashore memorial on my website:
www.namesinthesand.blogspot.com
yasminah’s gift of hope
Yasminah’s Journals are a very special keepsake that
allows families to keep ultrasound images, photos,
cot cards, arm bands, and foot and hand prints as a
cherished keepsake of a precious life.
We encourage families to write about their journey.
Families can write
down details and
memories about their
child to treasure
forever.
www.womenonwalks.com.au
A Gift Of Hope.
Brooke Taylor is an
amazing, talented artist
who has offered to provide
a complimentary A4 size
drawing for bereaved
families of their child.
Live butterfly’s for release
Weddings and Funeral’s
Anniversaries and romantic occasions
Birthdays and parties
All special occasions and events
www.butterflyreleases.com.au
If you have lost a child (or
grandchild etc) and you
are interested in having a
drawing done or would like
to find out about Brookes
other artwork, please contact
Brooke at brookietaylor@
hotmail.com.
www.facebook.com/drawing.from.the.heart
chocolates
and
teardrops
Mother’s day is often a bitter sweet day. One filled with the
joy of motherhood as well as the sadness of living without
your child. The passing of time does ease some of the pain
but the arrival of Mother’s day can bring that heavy weight
in your heart back to the surface.
How do you smile and celebrate your great efforts at
motherhood while desperately longing to hold your child
again? All around you families are celebrating the day
together, unaware of the sadness hidden behind the mask
you wear. You may tell yourself you should smile for the
sake of your family.
Well, maybe Mother’s day should be the day you take
off your mask and invite yourself to openly express your
feelings.
Allow yourself to cry over your child’s photo or tiny outfit.
Give yourself an hour alone to speak to your child and light
a candle. Buy yourself something nice on behalf of your
child... do whatever feels right for you.
Mother’s day is a day where you appear at the top of the
family’s priority list so treat yourself. A little pampering on
the outside could bring you peace on the inside.
Counsellor Esther Elliott
“I could not imagine going on with out her, until I realised
she could go on with me”
- Dana, Empty Cradle, Broken Heart by Deborah Davis.
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support groups
SIDS and Kids Queensland hold groups at our office in Mt Gravatt, and we also have
groups at other locations including Gold Coast, Brisbane Northside and Sunshine
Coast. For any enquiries please contact our office or the group facilitator listed.
Remember everyone is welcome and we hope you can join us at any of ourr groups.
GOLD COAST GROUP
WHEN: 1st Friday of the Month 10am-12 noon
WHERE: 12/10 Enterprise St, Molendinar
CHERISHED
MEMORIES
CRAFT GROUP
Aug 3rd
Oct 5th
WHEN:
Facilitator Jan Bond
Sept 7th
Nov 2nd
RSVP to Jan Bond Ph: 5568 0924
SUNSHINE COAST GROUP
Facilitator Monika Mann
WHEN: 3rd Wednesday of the Month 10am-12 noon
WHERE: 36-38 Main Street, Palmwoods
August 15th Sept 19th
Oct 17th
Nov 21st
Facilitator Esther Elliott
& Kylie Darby
3rd Friday of
the Month
10am-12 noon
WHERE: SIDS & Kids Office,
68 Creek Road, Mt Gravatt
vatt
please
keep an eye on
facebook and
our website for
new workshops!
All materials provided free of
charge and you create a beautiful scrapbooking page
which is yours to keep. No experience necessary and
children most welcome. Come along and be a part of this
therapeutic and supportive group.
Aug 17th Sept 14th
Oct 19th Nov 16th
RSVP to Monika Ph: 5457 3329
NORTHSIDE SUPPORT GROUP
Facilitator Francis Borg
WHEN: 3rd Tuesday of the Month 10am-12 noon
WHERE: 2/75 Dunsford Street, ZILLMERE
MANAGING GRIEF GROUP
WHEN: 2nd Wednesday of the Month 10am-12 noon
WHERE: SIDS & Kids Office, 68 Creek Road, Mt Gravatt
Aug 21st Sept18th
Oct 16th Nov 20th
RSVP to Francis Borg Ph: 3263 8586
STEPS TO HEALING WALKING GROUP
WHEN: Last Saturday of the Month 9am - 10.30am
WHERE:
SIDS & Kids Office, 68 Creek Road, Mt Gravatt
Aug 25th Sept 29th
Nov 24th
For further information or to register your interest in attending,
please contact us Please RSVP to Esther Ph: 38497122
Oct 27th
Walking, combined with therapy is a great way to assist with
grief and healing. We will walk for one hour and cater for all
fitness levels. Bring walking shoes, a hat and water bottle.
Followed by morning tea afterwards.
RSVP to Esther Elliott Ph: 38497122
Open to all bereaved parents who would like to share their
memories after the loss of their child. Any issues and topics
are welcome for discussion within this supportive group
setting.
Aug 8th Sept 12th
Oct 10th Nov 14th
IPSWICH SUPPORT GROUP
new!
WHEN: 1st Thursday of the Month 9.30am – 11.30pm
WHERE: Ipswich Library – 40 South Street Ipswich
Held in a private room within the library. This group offers
a safe and comfortable environment to share your story.
Facilitate by a qualified counselor. Please contact us for more
information or to RSVP by Tuesday prior. Phone: 3849 7122
July 5th (Meet and Greet)
Sept 6th Oct 4th
Aug 2nd
Nov 1st
cherished memories
This group has been bringing comfort and support to its members
for five and half years. Kylie D and Kylie J produce beautiful
scrapbooking page designs, which are brought to life over
therapeutic discussion and morning tea each month.
Our Counsellor Esther ensures the environment is relaxed,
supportive and safe for all our parents and their children. This is
a very special group and we welcome new members so call and
register your interest today.
The group and all the materials are offered free of
charge from the generous support from the Lord
Mayor’s Fund. RSVP on 3849 7122.
name plaques
For any of our families who
attended our Memorial Wall
opening last year, you would know
that we offer a plaque of your
child’s name free of charge to put
on the wall.
We would now like to offer
to get a plaque made for
your home (or wherever
you would like to place it)
for a charge of $11.50.
If you would like us to
order you a plaque for our
garden or a plaque for you
to keep please contact us
at queensland@sidsqld.
com.au or call
Kim on 3849 7122
resolutions
for
bereaved parents
RESOLVE:
•
That I will grieve as much and for as long as I feel like grieving, and that I will not let
others put a timetable on my grief.
•
That I will grieve in whatever way I feel like grieving, and that I will ignore those who try
to tell me what I should or should not be feeling and how I should or should not be
behaving.
•
That I will cry whenever and wherever I feel like crying, and that I will not hold back my
tears just because someone else feels that I should be “brave” or “getting better” or
“healing by now”.
•
That I will talk about my child as often as I want to, and that I will not let other turn me
off just because they can’t deal with their own feelings.
•
That I will not expect family and friends to know how I feel; understanding that one who
has not lost a child cannot possibly know how I feel.
•
That I will not blame myself for my child’s death, and I will constantly remind myself
that this is a normal part of the grief process and it will pass.
•
That I will not be afraid or ashamed to seek professional help if I feel it is necessary.
•
That I will commune with my child at least once a day in whatever way feels
comfortable and natural to me, and that I won’t feel compelled to explain this
communion to others or even discuss this with them.
•
That I will try to eat, sleep and exercise every day in order to give my body the strength
it will need to help me cope with my grief.
•
To know that I will heal, even though it will take a long time.
•
To let myself heal and not feel guilty about feeling better.
•
To remind myself that the grief process is circuitous – that is, I will not make steady
upward progress. And when I find myself slipping backward, it is also a normal part of
the grief process and these moods, too, will pass.
•
To try to be happy about something for part of everyday, knowing that at first, I may
have to force myself to think cheerful thoughts so eventually they can become a habit.
•
That I will reach out at times and try to help someone else, knowing that helping others
will help me to get over my depression or grief.
•
That even though my child is dead, I will opt for life, knowing that is what my child
would want me to do.
FROM HTTP://BABYEMMA.MEMORY-OF.COM/ IN IFFA NEWSLETTER DECEMBER 2007
precious
memories
The Mention of My Child’s Name
The mention of my child’s name may bring tears to my eyes,
but it never fails to bring music to my ears.
If you are really my friend, let me hear the beautiful music of his name.
It soothes my broken heart and
sings to my
soul.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN.
The following pages are dedications to the precious babies
and children who have passed away.
precious
memories
and your stories
SIDS and Kids Queensland welcomes your Precious Memories and Your Story contributions
to be included in our Enigma Publication. This can be in memory of your child’s birthday or
anniversary. It can be a poem, your child’s story or any other piece you may like to include.
The next Edition of Enigma will be published in December 2012. If you would like to have your Precious Memories or
Your Story included in the next issue please complete the details below. Alternatively please email your submission to
queensland@sidsandkids.org. You can include photos or pictures so please send them with your Precious Memories by
beginning of November 2012. If Precious memories are received after the closing date we cannot guarantee your story will
be published.
IMPORTANT NOTICE - COPYRIGHT
We understand the importance of including poems and remembering your children and we wish to continue to include these
in our publication. To protect copyright, would you please ensure that any poems submitted to SIDS and Kids Queensland
do not infringe on any copyright laws, by please ensuring that any poem submitted, whether an actual poem or an adapted
poem, has the permission of the author. The name of the author is to be included at the end of the poem where known, or
author’s name and adapted by, or author unknown where the originator of the poem is not known.
No stories or images from this magazine are to be copied or reproduced without parental consent.
Would you like any donations you have made to be published in ‘Donations in Loving Memory’ in the next Enigma?
YES
NO
Would you like your child remembered in the Birthdates?
Would you like your child remembered in the Anniversaries?
YES
YES
NO
NO
Child’s Name:_____________________________________________________________________________
Date of Birth:_____________________________Date of Death:_____________________________________
I hereby give consent to have my child’s Precious Memories or Your Story and/or Donation in Loving
Memory published in SIDS and Kids Queensland Engima. I am aware that this magazine is publicly
accessible online.
Name:______________________________________Signature:_____________________________________
Daytime Contact Number:______________________________________
Please return your contribution via email to queensland@sidsqld.com.au
Maggie Ellen Hoover
Our Dear Baby Girl Maggie,
I cannot believe it has been a year since you were
taken from us.. But there is not a moment in any given
day that I don’t think about you or wish that you were
here with us again...we would do anything to have you
back here with us!
I sit here everyday wondering and wondering what
you would look like now? What colour your hair would
be? How big are you? Who’s looking after you way up
there...the list could go on forever I never ever stop
thinking!
Your big brother has recently had his 4th Birthday and
he had a really great time. He asks about you often like
when are you coming home? When can we go to heaven
to visit Maggie Mum? He also has told me that if he got 5
minutes to talk to you he would ask for you “Never go back up
to heaven” and also said he would pick you up just like “Hulk”
and protect you.
Our first Christmas without you was testing...I just couldn’t
smile and be happy because there was a part of us missing
and it just didn’t feel right. We spent the day at Nanny and
Poppy’s place with all your Auntie’s and Uncle’s and all of your
little cousins. I think you and Piper would have been the best
of friends...holding her and sharing that special time with her
brings me a lot of comfort. I hope one day Mummy and Daddy
will have another baby to love just like we love you..Peyton
would really like that!
Did you like the little birthday party we threw for you? I hope
u liked the balloons and the cake that Aunty Trina and Uncle
Ben had made special for us...it tasted so good. We have
been trying to make the sad days as positive as possible but
sometimes it is just so hard...Im still trying to understand why
this had to happen...not just to us but anyone...its not fair! I
know you are ok up there and you don’t like seeing me sad..
so I try not to cry the tears just start to flow and I have no
control over it.
Can’t wait for the day I see you again hopefully in my
dreams...every night...that would be nice! I do feel your
presence around us sometimes and that bring me a lot of
comfort to know that you are still around even though we can’t
see you..I hope 2012 brings our family happy days...we love
you baby girl today, tomorrow and always. You will always be
in our hearts
Love Mummy, Daddy and Peyton xo xo xo
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Lucas Michael Walker
Our dearest little Lucas
Who was so pure and so true
It’s not at all right
What has happened to you
Where did you go
Why did you leave
You should have gone home
And been able to believe
We know you’re okay
And know that you’re happy
But it shouldn’t be this way
It’s just no way to be
Whose hands were so small
You were so young
When you had left us all
These days are so different
They’re no way the same
It’s now filled with sadness
So many tears and so much pain
Who only had 8 short weeks
You touched so many hearts
In the time you spent here
You’re looking down from above
With your beautiful wings
But we miss you so much
And it’s so hard to stop weeping
Take care of your Mommy
Always be by her side
Give her sweet kisses
While she’s sleeping at night
You may no longer be here
But know we love you dearly
And we know you’re always near
Anonymous
Miss you buddy, RIP
Rorrie William Forrester-Bailey
19th April 2010 ~ 28th May 2010
To Darling Rorrie my “Angel baby”,
Another Christmas came and went, the second
without you. Your family and nieces and nephew and
other family and friends were there. There was a huge
hole in my heart that you couldn’t be there; it was a
great day but…….
A new year, this April on the 19th you would be turning
two. I look at other children similar ages and I remember
your brother James at this age. It’s such a fun, cute and
amazing age and time. It breaks my heart to not be
going through this with you. You were not with us for
long but I miss you and want to hold you in my arms.
I don’t think time spent is a factor, you were my dream
come true that I never thought I would have.
I love you, I miss you. I will never forget you, you perfect,
beautiful, gorgeous, little guy.
Love always and forever, your mummy xoxox
……………………………………………………………………
Dear bubba, my son, my first,
Missing you all the time and wishing we hadn’t lost you.
I’m being strong and have been now for awhile. Your second
birthday is coming around and surely you see us at your place
with tears. So, mummy is staying strong now but has her
moments. Don’t worry; I’ll be there for her. Hoping to catch up
with you soon son, still loving you always.
Your daddy, Craig xxxxxxoooooo!
……………………………………………………………………
To our darling grandson “Rorrie”
This was to be your second birthday but it was not meant to
be. Your short life has left us with wonderful happy memories
of a beautiful little boy, never to be forgotten.
Your loving Nanna (Ruth) and Pops (Nev)
……………………………………………………………………
The day you went away – Nanna (Karren)
May the 28th you went away, and only god knows why the angels need you to play
My heart was broken the day you went away
I cry and visit you often, and I hear you say
“Nan I know your heart was broken, but I really could not stay
The Angels called me on that sunny day, the day I went away”
Xoxo
From Grandpa (Phil) and Barb
A tradgedy for one so sweet and innocent, memories will travel with us always xxxx
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Johnny Tudor Brewer
11th October 2010 ~ 11th April 2011
Our beautiful son, brother, grandson,
great grandson,
nephew, cousin and friend
We just celebrated Johnny’s 1st birthday as a family.
No need to say how difficult it was as I’m sure you
can relate or imagine.
Johnny’s big sister Lucy loved the day opening his
presents and especially the cake.
This has been the greatest challenge of our life,
and the change that has come from it has not been
easy, however we are getting there.
Our son was lucky enough to experience love.
We were lucky to experience his love too.
I see him in our daughter, I see him in my husband,
I see him in me.
Love for eternity our Johnny T.
Mummy, Daddy and Lucy Joy
xoxo
Hayley Alana Darbey
19th May 2007 ~ 1st June 2007
Happy 5th Birthday in Heaven
Our Sweet Baby Girl
I can’t believe it’s been almost 5 years since I held you in my
arms & kissed your beautiful face. We think about you everyday
& love you & miss you so very much. We’ll have a special cake
for you on your birthday & send you some special birthday
balloons.
Hayden asks about you all the time & asks why we can’t go in a
plane to heaven to pick you up ;( It absolutely breaks my heart
& I wish so badly that we could.
Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl. Love you always & forever♥
Mummy, Daddy, Hayden & Hamish xoxoxo
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Alexander John Turner
18th October 2010 ~ 16th February 2011
To Our dearest Alexander,
How can we have already gone a
whole year without you. We miss
you so much. We had a picnic at
the park mummy and daddy were
married at for your 1st Angelversary,
it was a calm quiet day
with lots of thoughts of you.
Your sister turned 3 in January we
love watching her grow but miss
not being able to watch you grow
with her into the handsome young
man we knew you would have been.
There isn’t a day that goes by that
we don’t think of you or
speak your name.
I thought of you when I read this
and added your name.
It’s so hard to remember,
that a family is forever,
now the room is empty,
only mementos remain,
oh, how I long to hold him,
to ease the constant pain.
A family is forever,
thought separated by time
it’s so hard to remember
what remains needs attention
your mind drifts to the moments,
you once all shared,
when your family was forever,
before Alex was gone.
Forever is longer
than we shall ever know
forever is longer
even when there is time to grow.
A family is forever,
that much I do know.
Forever in our hearts our precious little boy
Love mummy and daddy Xx
Maddison Suzanne Erwin
25th November 2004
Dearest Maddison,
Your little sister has arrived safe and sound. My first glimpse of
Matilda, after they pulled her from my belly was a little overwhelming,
she looked just like you!
I am trying so hard not to think, very often, that looking after her is
what I missed out on with you (which in a way it is) and try to see it
as just my experiences with Matilda.
Hamish is such a wonderful big brother so caring and gentle.
Thank you for sending us your little brother and sister, we are so
lucky to have them in our lives. Our little family now complete,
including our beautiful angel watching over us.
We love you and miss you every day.
Lots of love
Mummy, Daddy, Hamish and Matilda.
xoxox
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Keegan Rhys Hardy
I feel,
ne.
28th November 2002 ~ 9th March 2003
Keegan, soon you would have your 9th birthday with Bayden! Wow,
where has the time gone. Bayden is growing up so fast, yet time has
also been so slow. We miss you every day our precious angel, our lives
will never be the same without you xox
“I know I’ll see the sun shine bright
upon my baby’s face....
When I finally get to heaven,
all my pain will be erased.
We’ll soar the skies together,
as angels two by two.
We’ll have a sweet reunion,
this mother’s dream come true!”
UNKNOWN
Forget us not
Our beautiful son
You left us way too soon
Although we cannot hug
and hold you
You are forever in our thoughts
and heart
As precious and beautiful as
your twin brother
Our love for you will never be gone.
All our love Mummy and Daddy
About the ones you grieve for
Because you sadly miss
And the gentle breeze you took for
granted
Was just......... “an angel’s kiss.”
UNKNOWN
You never said you’re leaving
You never said goodbye
You were gone before I knew it,
And only God knew why.
A million times I needed you,
A million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place,
That nobody could ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you didn’t go alone
For part of me went with you,
The day God took you home.
~Unknown
For our little angel Keegan
Rhys Hardy
For our brother Keegan Rhys
Hardy.
We go through life so often
Not stopping to enjoy the day,
And we take each one for granted
As we travel on our way.
Love Lincoln, Bayden (your twin)
and your little sister Emersen xox
We never stop to measure
Anything we just might miss,
But if the wind should blow by softly
You’ll feel an angel’s kiss.
The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn’t bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small
way
For all eternity.
The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says of our love for you.
A kiss that is sent from Heaven
A kiss from up above,
A kiss that is very special
From someone that you love.
For in your pain and sorrow
An angel’s kiss will help you through,
This kiss is very private
For it is meant for only you.
So when your hearts are heavy
And filled with tears and pain,
And no one can console you
Remember once again.....
Little Snowdrop
UNKNOWN
For your Daddy...
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
I must be strong
And carry on
‘Cause I know I don’t belong
Here in heaven
Would you hold my hand
Would you help me stand
I’ll find my way
Through night and day
‘Cause I know I just can’t stay
Here in heaven
Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please
Beyond the door
There’s peace, I’m sure
And I know there’ll be no more
Tears in heaven
Would you know my name
Would it be the same
I must be strong
And carry on
Here in heaven
Here in heaven
ERIC CLAPTON
your
story
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In 2005 I fell pregnant with our first
child. I was 23 years old. As my
belly grew I felt the urge to pick up
a camera, I photographed my
beautiful growing baby belly and
flowers - I love flowers.
for christian
I photographed them in my garden from when
they were born as tiny buds all the way through
to their full and magnificent blooms. Scarlett
was born at full term but she was very unwell.
She could not breathe on her own and she
spent the beginning of her life in the NICU. She
did not bloom as easily as the flowers I had
been photographing in the months prior to her
traumatic birth. After she was able to come
home with us I lost my passion for taking
photos. Eveytime I looked at Scarlett's photos
I felt sick. She was all tied up with tubes and
drips. She was bruised from head to toe. I put my camera
away. I thought what we had been through would be the worst
thing that would ever happen to us.
Just under a year later our world came crashing down. Our
little boy that I carried in my womb for 6 months was stillborn.
He had chubby cheeks and a button nose. Christian had a
condition called Hyrdocephalus and because he did not have
enough brain matter to tell him to swallow he never really grew
a stomach which meant he was never going to be here for
long. My life had stopped at his fatal diagnosis and 18 months
later I still felt like I had no pulse. As I sat at the table holding
his ashes I cried. I could not picture his face anymore. I had
hit rock bottom. How could a mother possibly forget her son's
face?
That night I wrote on my blog about how terrible I was feeling.
A friend in Colorado commented and said that she would
pray that my next day would bring me some hope. That night
I dreamed of Christian for the first time. My Earth and his
Heaven had collided for a brief moment and we were together
again. He was alive and well. I had found him and his friends.
They were writing their names in the sand on one of Heaven's
beaches. As I looked down at their names Christian and his
two friends ran off giggling with fun and laughter. I watched
him disappear into the sand dunes and as I looked back down
at his name in the sand the water came in and took his name
out to sea. Then I woke up.
In the morning I woke up. It was as if someone had brought
me back to life. My pulse was strong and even racing.
Keeping the dream to myself I picked up my little point and
shoot digital camera and late that afternoon as the sun was
begining to set I drove down to the beach to write Christian's
name in the sand for the first time. It was an epic sunset to my
surprise. I hadn't seen a sunset since the day he was born. I
wrote his name and started taking some photos. I remember
standing in the water praying. I wondered if I should start
doing this for people that I know have experienced the death
of their babies and children. As I left the beach I blew a kiss
out to the sea and drove to my parents house. I loaded the
photos onto their computer. I showed my Dad "Oh that is really
nice Pod" (He calls me Pod - long story) I told my parents that
I was thinking of doing this for families who have lost children
and that I was hoping that I might be able to do around 3
names each week for families here in my home town of Perth
Western Australia.
3 and a 1/2 years later I have written and photographed the
names of 14,500 babies and children who are no longer here
with us on Earth. I now spend any spare time that I have
drawing butterflies, dragonflies and now peace doves in the
sand on my son's beach. My wait list is constantly filled with
names of children from all over the world. It is tragic and
beautiful all at the same time. I never imagined this would
become my life.
Writing, drawing and photography has helped me to heal and
enriched my life in ways that I cannot explain. It has forced
me to step outside into the fresh air and notice the beauty that
mother nature creates for us. We live in an amazing world and
as devstating as it can be, it is still incredible. My life began
again on that Winter's afternoon of 2008 when I finally picked
up my camera.
I find my son through my artwork. We have a relationship. I
might not be able to touch him but I know he visits me at the
beach - he sends me dolphins and leaves me butterfly shells. I
can only imagine the place that he now calls home.
Carlie Marie
an angel
goes
to heaven
A book by
Kevin McNamara
Holly Maree McNamara, was born on the 20th August, 1988
at the Dandenong Valley Private Hospital in Melbourne,
Australia. Holly died on the 18th of January, 1989. She died
from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (S.I.D.S). She was fivemonths-old. She was beautiful.
It was around 11a.m that I heard the bedroom window being
pounded on and a voice calling my name. I remember waking
with a jolt and wondering what the hell was going on. I actually
felt quite annoyed at being woken. It took a while to come
to my senses but after a few seconds I realised it was my
mother-in law. She was yelling out “Kevin, Kevin, quick it’s
Holly. She is at the doctor’s and there is something wrong with
her breathing.”
My own description of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is this:
‘My beautiful five month old daughter Holly stopped breathing
and died for reasons unknown to any living human being. The
pain of losing a child was now with me.’
It was Tuesday 17th January, 1989. I had been a policeman
in Melbourne, Victoria, for 8 years. My Sergeant on the night
shift had three children and we enjoyed each other’s company
and always had some fun on shift together. I remember on
this Tuesday night sitting down with him and talking about
Holly. I was telling him how beautiful she was; what a great
baby she was; how she had never been sick and how I was so
happy to be a dad and have someone as wonderful as her for
a daughter. I couldn’t wait to get home to see her. I was so at
peace with the world.
I was aware of SIDS and knew that the first five months was
the critical time and had totally accepted in my own heart
that Holly was through that barrier. It had been almost five
months to the day she was born and I had let my defences
down completely. I had relaxed and had total belief that Holly
was not going to die. This was the very night I realised what
great joy it was to be a father and couldn’t wait to see her that
Wednesday morning.
I was not disappointed as I poked my head into her room. She
was lying there wide awake and as she noticed me the most
beautiful smile I had ever seen lit up her face and her eyes
looked into mine with that look and feeling that only a father
and daughter can experience and feel.
At that very moment I knew what love was. It was there in
that room. Time stood still. There was no time. I was living
and experiencing the present moment like never before. I
had no idea that this would be the last time that I would see
Holly alive. It was as if she was giving me a lifetime of love in
that one moment. I leaned into her cot and gave her a kiss. I
stroked her forehead and whispered into her ear “Goodnight
Hol. I love you beautiful girl.”
At this moment in time I genuinely had no idea what he was
talking about. I said to him, “What do you mean? What are
you talking about?” My mind was just numb. He said again,
“I am sorry. We tried everything.” I was still confused. I had
been in a deep sleep only to be woken and driven down to the
doctor’s surgery. Nothing was making sense. I then looked
over at the ambulance officers standing around the bed. The
pain of losing a child had hit them hard. All four had tears in
their eyes. I then noticed the small child lying on the bed. It
was Holly.
The doctor asked me if I would like to hold her and passed her
to me. I held her tight and looked at her beautiful face. She
seemed so content as though she was sleeping peacefully. It
did not register then that she had died and it would not register
for some time. My body had shut down emotionally and I was
numb.
My wife had been at the hairdresser that morning and her
mum had been looking after Holly. She arrived at the surgery a
short time later. When she walked in she was understandably
distressed and crying, in shock and very emotional. She was
asking me questions but I had no answers. We both just kept
looking at this beautiful child who had just died.
We all have memorable moments in our lives but without
doubt the memory of that morning will live with me forever.
Nothing I have experienced before or since comes close to
the love and joy I experienced with Holly at that moment. I will
never forget it. We were together as one. We still are.
I remember on the way constantly reassuring her that there
was nothing to worry about and that Holly would be awake
and laughing when we arrived. I honestly believed that I would
arrive at the surgery and the doctor would say that everything
is fine and she was just a bit off colour. I vividly recall when
I was being driven to the surgery that in my head I had total
confidence that Holly would be crawling around the floor of the
surgery and would look up at me with those beautiful eyes of
hers and smile. I was actually looking forward to seeing her.
When we arrived I was ushered immediately from the waiting
room and into a medical room. I was met by our family doctor.
I noticed there were four ambulance officers also in the room
who were gathered around a bed that was directly behind
the doctor. His first words to me were “I am sorry. We tried
everything.”
I would always head straight for Holly’s room in the morning
to see her before going to bed. I crept into Holly’s room on the
morning of Wednesday, January 18th, 1989, not wanting to
wake her if she was asleep. But in my mind hoping that she
would already be awake or that my presence would wake her
so I could see those beautiful big blue eyes staring at me and
that beautiful mouth with the biggest smile beaming at me.
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I kept reassuring her that Holly would be fine. She drove me to
the doctor’s surgery that was about one kilometre away from
where we lived.
I had entered a vacuum. No feeling, no emotion, no tears, no
pain. Nothingness. The pain of losing a child had just begun.
Kevin McNamara – www.motherswhohavelostachild.com
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jack jones
Our final day with Jack started early on the Sunday
morning 13 March 2004. As usual, we were both at the
hospital around 7am, but there was a certain tension this
day as we knew we were going to the hospital for the last
time. We brought an overnight bag with us with a change
of clothes, not really knowing what we’d need and how
long we’d be there.
We started the day by giving Jack a bath as this truly was one of his favourite
things. He seemed to relax and sometimes almost went to sleep as we rocked
him back and forward in the water. Mum and Kel were with us this morning as
they’d come to see Jack for the last time. Everyone else had already said their
goodbyes in the previous few days. Kel and Mum took a lot of pictures this
morning which was not unusual for any day really, but we knew it was our last
opportunity. I bathed Jack and Ian dried and dressed him and
Kel chose his clothes for the day. After his bath, Kel and Mum left and we
spent our last day together. The day went pretty quickly really. We were in our
own private room with Jack in PICU at this stage – one of the isolation rooms
which was great as we had privacy for the day. We closed the blinds and the
nurses respected our privacy and only came in when they absolutely had to…
We spent the afternoon playing together and cuddling and talking and singing
to him.
A few days prior we’d been shopping and bought Jack some lego that Ian
wanted to do with him before he passed away. It was a surreal experience
walking in the toy shop wanting to buy a toy for your 6month old son before
he dies. We wanted a shiny red truck, but did not know sort to buy, or what to
do, or where to look, and I remember Ian being overwhelmed by emotion and
crying before we finally found the lego truck. After we bought Jacks shiny red
lego truck, we went to Pumpkin Patch to buy the clothes we’d bury him in. We
walked around in circles in the shop for ages. What in the world do you buy
for such an occasion? The shop assistant asked us if we wanted help and I
barely go the words out “No thank you”. I stood in the back left hand corner of
the shop and sobbed uncontrollably with my hands over my face for minutes
after she left us. I remember it very clearly even now. People were looking
at us crying and I don’t know what they thought, but I remember thinking they
have no idea what we’re buying clothes for. We finally selected a gorgeous
outfit for Jack. We got to the counter to pay for the clothes and the shop
assistant asked us if it was a gift and if we’d like it gift wrapped? I blinked my
tears away and could not speak so left Ian to answer her. I’m pretty sure these
were the only clothes we ever bought for Jack…
At lunchtime we made the transition from intensive care to palliative care
and we took Jack’s saturations monitor off. We asked the nurses if that was
ok, and given the circumstances they were happy with that. We wheeled
the monitors away into the right hand corner of the room as far away as we
could. This was the first time Jack was ‘unmonitored’ from the moment I got to
hospital in labour with him. We alternated playing ‘Jack Johnson’ and a ‘baby
lullaby cd’ softly all day.
Ian made the shiny red truck lego with Jack in the early hours of the evening
that night. Ian sat beside Jack’s bed and had all the lego lain out on the bed
beside Jack as they pieced it together. I sat on the blue recliner watching in
disbelief that this would be the first and last time Ian would make lego with his
son. Ian made a couple of cars and then finally he made a big red shiny semi
trailer lego truck which Jack took with him to his grave.
He had scratched himself on the chin the day before he passed away and I
remember thinking at the time that I hoped it healed up quickly as I didn’t want
him to go with that little mark on his face. I wanted him to be perfect when
he left me as he was when I got him. He was perfect, but without a blemish I
mean… He still had the mark when he passed away.
Sometime around now I washed my face and changed into
fresh clothes. We also changed Jack from his blue suit into
his aqua singlet with just a nappy. His singlet was one which
Alysha made for him and she’d painted the words on the back
“I love my Mummy and Daddy, they Rock!”
I took photos as Jack was smiling at Ian… This is the only
time we’d ever seen him properly smile. It was definitely not
wind! They were full blown smiles! Makes me wonder if he
knew what was happening and if he was ok with it. I had been
talking to Jack the few days before and trying to explain that
things were going to be different pretty soon and I wonder if he
knew this was now the time…
We also turned Jack’s oxygen down from 6L/min to 1L/min.
I remember Jack really noticed this change. The oxygen
whistling in his nose was quite loud and constant, so the
difference to him when it was turned down and then made
no noise was very real. We could see him looking around
wondering what had happened, and it was obvious he noticed
the change. He slept on and off but we did not put him in bed,
we just held him all afternoon and into the evening. By this
time he was already showing obvious signs of tiring and we
knew it would not be long.
Sometime later during the night we also took Jack’s oragastric
feeding tube out. We gave him his last feed overnight and
then we asked the nurse to remove his feeding tube.
Jack had been trying to do a poo all night and I remember
hoping he’d do it before the end as I didn’t know what would
happen if he didn’t. As much as he tried, he never did do that
poo! Mum went to the funeral home the day before Jack was
buried with a fresh nappy in case he needed it, but he didn’t. I
just wanted to make sure he was fresh as it was bothering me.
We decided it was time to start administering some morphine
around dinner time to ensure Jack was comfortable and
not distressed at all as he was really starting to work hard
to breathe. This was very important to us and critical in the
management of his condition overnight. We wanted to try to
avoid any IV morphine so as not to have to insert yet another
IV into his arm…. So we requested that the nurses administer
morphine via a face mask with a nebuliser machine, but
this was very distressing to all 3 of us. The nebuliser was
noisy and Jack cried the whole time and was very upset and
consequently Ian and I were very upset too. I asked them
to turn it off as I felt I could not bear it, and we decided to
have them put an IV into Jack’s right arm to administer the
morphine that way. The morphine was very, very slow and a
low dose to keep him comfortable. He started to get sleepy
so we asked a nurse to take the last photo of the 3 of us
together while he was still awake. Initially I was holding Jack
the other way, but I didn’t like being able to see the morphine
IV, so I swopped him over to this way so the IV was hidden.
At the time I didn’t want people to know he had morphine.
I’m not sure why now, but it does not upset me anymore as
I understand how critical that was in making sure he was
comfortable and not distressed during the later stages. His
passing was very, very peaceful which was exactly how we
wanted it to happen.
We changed the room around at some point after dinner time.
Some of my times during this day and night are a bit sketchy
now, but I have it all very well documented in Jack’s journal,
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but will not refer back today…. I just want to get my thoughts
down while they are fresh and clear…. It is not always this
way. And sometimes when it is I just find it too emotional
to document, so I don’t. But today I can, and I want to. We
converted the room and removed the steel hospital cot and
put mattresses on the floor so we could lie in bed on either
side of him. At first I was laying on Jack’s right and Ian was
laying on Jack’s left, but my shoulder started aching after a
few hours so we swopped early hours in the morning and
when Jack passed away I was laying on his left, and Ian on
his right.
It was also early hours of the morning (around 3am I think)
that we also removed his oxygen completely. This was a very
difficult thing to do as it had been his lifeline for his whole life.
We both knew he could not breathe without it… We were both
very emotional and asked the nurses to actually remove it as
neither of us felt like we could take it away from him... We
took all the tape and everything off his face which was the first
time since birth he’d ever been without tapes and tubes on his
face and body.
Ian dozed on and off very briefly for the last few hours
Jack was with us. We were both so exhausted, physically,
emotionally and mentally. It had been a big day! Jack
continued to get more and more tired and just after the photo
above of the 3 of us was taken, he went to sleep and did not
open his eyes again… Jack’s breathing started to slow down
and his pulse rate followed. I kept feeling his pulse on his
wrist and listening to his heart beating by putting my head
on his chest. It got to the point that I could almost not feel
his pulse on his wrist and had to feel it on his throat instead.
I’m not sure why I kept feeling it. I don’t know, it’s just what
I did at the time. The morphine continued to increase, and
everything else continued to slow and his colour started to
change also. I did not like this and it was one of the aspects
of him passing which was distressing to me, so we dimmed
the lights in the room. It was 3am or 4am now, so we didn’t
wants lights beaming on us anyway! His body temperature
also dropped slowly and he kept getting colder and colder. At
the time I did not put it together - why this was happening… I
asked the nurses 3 or 4 times for more blankets to put over
him as I was trying my hardest to keep him warm.
I stayed awake the whole time and just kept talking to Jack. I
basically repeated the same things over and over again for
a couple of hours at the end… I told Jack how much I loved
him and that his life journey was going to take a different road
soon and that it would be different to now. I told Jack that
when he leaves this world it will be easy for him to breathe,
that he would not have to struggle to breathe anymore, that
there would be other kids and babies to play with. I told him
that he would not be able to see and touch us like he does
now, but promised him that we would always be able to hold
each other in our hearts, and that we could continue to see
each other in our dreams. I told him that when he thought
of me, to remember how I smell, remember how I look,
remember how much I smile at him, remember my voice,
remember how I touch him. I told him to remember how much
fun we had when he has a bath, remember how much I love to
be with him, how happy he made me, how brave I think he is,
and how much I will love him until the day I die. When I told
him to remember how I touch him, I stroked his arms and said
“remember this” and stroked his face and said “and this” and
I did this to his whole body and told him to remember “this”
for every single part. I told him that he was my angel and that
when he was ready to spread his wings and fly, that it was ok,
and I would be ok. Ian told him twice during the night also that
it was ok to go. We both wanted him to know that we would
be ok and he would be ok too, and when he’d had enough, he
could let go, and he didn’t have to struggle anymore.
I remember looking at the clock at 5:07am and then when
I next looked it was 5.20am. Jack passed away between
5.15am and 5.20am. I was terrified of what the last moments
would be like and I’d talked openly about that. You see
horrible things on movies with people gasping for air and I
dreaded such a scene! I still wonder to this day if it’s why
Jack hung on till I closed my eyes for a few minutes to make
an exit. He knew I was frightened of this moment… Ian and
I both opened our eyes at the same moment as if something
had woken us both up. We lay silently for a moment watching
his chest and knew instantly that he had taken his last breath.
I remember the look on Ian’s face as I stared across Jack’s
body at him… Jack was lily white and looked like an angel.
I still call him my ‘real life angel’… Lots of people refer to
their babies as angels, but Jack really is an angel… A real life
angel!
We lay with Jack for about 10 minutes before we went and
got the nursing staff. Marion was the nurse allocated to us
overnight, in fact we’d requested her to allocated to take care
of our family on such a special evening. We’d only seen her
a few times when we got milk and blankets during the night.
Marion was young, in her early 20’s and had long black curly
hair. She was very kind and funnily enough, she was the
nurse who took care of us the day we were transferred from
the NICU to the PICU in the January of 2004. Ian left the
room and went and called our family who were all waiting for
us at home. Marion assisted me to bath Jack. Marion held
Jack with one hand under his head and one under his bottom
and I bathed him. His arms and legs hung heavily as she
held him and I washed his hair and then dried and dressed
him. I combed his hair after I dressed him which was unusual
because I never really did this often. I had printed a picture of
my Grandma Midge and put it in his overalls bib pocket and
pinned it in with a guardian angel pin that Mum had given to
Jack when he was born. I had told Jack of Grandma Midge,
how great she was, and that I knew in my heart she would
find him and take care of him for us. I tried numerous times to
make contact with her before Jack passed away, and although
I didn’t get any signs at the time, I still believe Grandma Midge
was waiting for Jack and takes care of him..
Marion took the IV out of Jacks right hand. It was strange
when she removed it that it did not bleed as it typically
would… I still remembering noticing this and thinking, it’s not
bleeding because there is no blood pumping through his veins
anymore…
By the time I had dressed Jack and tucked him back into his
comfortable bed, I knew the time was coming for Ian and I to
leave him. Ian came back into the room around this time. It
was almost 7am on Monday morning, the 14th of March 2004.
I walked over to the right hand side of Jack’s bed and held his
cold, white hand and kissed his forehead at the same time. I
told him I loved him one last time. I don’t remember what Ian
did. We walked out of the room and closed the door behind
us and Marion stayed with Jack. I don’t even know hnow
to explain how I felt in those moments. I was so shattered I
could hardly even walk. Ian had to almost carry me out of the
PICU and into the elevator.
I remember leaving the carpark and paying the man for the
parking like we had done for 6 months knowing we would not
be back here tomorrow. I wanted to tell him we would not see
him again, I’m not sure why. I didn’t though, we just drove
away! Ian drove us home and I looked at the dash board at
the date and clock thinking it was strange how the time was
still ticking… For me, time was standing still. People were
catching the bus to work and I remember thinking, “what are
all these people doing?” I remember looking at the date on
the dash and thinking to myself this will be a deeply significant
date in my life forever.
I look back now at all the things I said and did…. All so strong
and brave… Was I made of a steel pole at the time? How
did I do all this? To say my life has changed since then is an
understatement and one I don’t have time to explain today.
Jack was my first born son, and although he is no longer
physically with me, he is still my first born son. I treasured
every moment of his life, although some of them were
extremely difficult! I am very grateful for all the time we had
together. Jack Richard Jones, you made me a better person!
Rest in Peace my ‘real life angel’…Mummy x
a
father’
s
reflections
After reading posts of both newly bereaved parents and
veterans of late I have begun to have some realisations
about our new normal.
Along with everything else that it brings such as shock, raw emotion,
loneliness, emptiness and panic our grief causes us to re-evaluate just about
everything – our beliefs, values, attitudes, view of the world, view of ourselves
and others and view of Nature and Life itself. It causes us to be “born again”
in the most painful and unpleasant of manners. We are forced to look at
everything anew. There is nothing in our lives that escapes this net. While
ultimately the whole process may make us better and stronger people (and
why not? since we are here anyway and obviously we should further any
positive outcomes) I think we will all agree however that the price for this is
simply too high. We would prefer to have our ignorance intact and our children
back.
John
Daddy of Claire (16 June 06 - 06 June 08)
|
|
donations
in
loving
memory
We would like to thank everyone who has chosen SIDS and Kids
Queensland to donate to in memory of their loved ones. As many of
our donations are anonymous we are unable to list them here but we
wish to sincerely thank those who have given so generously. Please
let us know at the time of donation if you would like it to appear in our
Donations In Loving Memory page.
Ray Foy
Carrie Woodward
Sandra Knight
Kelly & Simon Ac
Lionel William Ac
Mrs Pearl Kosh
Cameron Feirclough
Jann Dagan
Maggie Hoover
Jackie Dennis
Maggie Hoover
Robert Taylor
Maggie Hoover
Anthony Broadrick
Maggie Hoover
Cat Wilson
Maggie Hoover
Alex Chapman
Maggie Hoover
Nicole Matheson
Maggie Hoover
Dave & Judy Maskell
Maggie Hoover
Dean Richmond
Maggie Hoover
Middlemount Bowls Club on behalf of Middlemount Community
Maggie Hoover
Simon Briggs
Luke Simon Briggs
Mrs Clark
Isabel May Goodman-Jones
Judith & Doug Mackenzie
Isabel May Goodman-Jones
Pat Galland
Rachel Stephanie Kemp
John Matthews
Cameron Feirclough
Mary Steele
Preston James Steele-Alston
Fiona Leben
William Foster
Glenn & Margaret Howard
Micheal Cory & Kenneth Richard
Lin Waters
Bridie Kate Sippel
Edward Siebuhr
Tegan Griffiths
Karen Maher
Richard Lawlor
Rockabilly Dance Group Fundraiser
Kani Michelle Rose Proctor
Tony & Miriam Houweling
Noah Manley Houweling
Marie Lucy
Anna Grace Andrews
Carmel McSweeney
Nicholas Peter Lee
Barry & Alicia Martin
Kellie Clarice Martin
Brian & Beverley Martin
Kellie Clarice Martin
Kelly & PJ Marsh & Family
Maggie Hoover
David & Narelle Foster
William Foster
Tamara Raine
Lucas Michael Walker
join in the
conversation
online!
celebrations
Remember, there are so many ways
we can keep in contact!
SIDS and Kids Internet
Forum
An online message board for bereaved
parents to chat, discuss issues and provide
and receive support from other other parents
and counselors from SIDS and Kids NSW.
http://sidsandkidsnsw.proboards86.com
Emmi and Lee peters welcome a new little sister for
Zoe Elizabeth Peters
Havana Diane Peters
born 2nd January 2012
------
Facebook
Visit our SIDS and Kids QLD Facebook
webpage for up to date information on our
Education and Support Services; Fundraising;
Red Nose Day; and other upcoming SIDS
and Kids QLD events.
www.facebook.com/pages/SIDS-and-kidsQueensland/140516809320630
E-News from
SIDS and Kids
We want to include you on our newsletter
mailing list, please email us your details so
we can send you regular updates, information
on our events and news.
Second daughter for Helen and Tim and a little sister
for Angel Maddi and Hamish
Matilda Sarah Erwin
born 15th February 2012
Email: queensland@sidsandkids.org
We hope to introduce a Queensland
Internet forum this year. Watch our
Facebook and Website pages for
more information.
------
This year is the 5th anniversary
of our Northside Support
Group.
The group meets each month and is facilitated by our
external counselor Francis Borg. Congratulations to
Francis and the rest of the group!!
|
|
remembrance dates
NAME
A
Adam Blake Sparksman
Adam James Chatten Hewitt
Alana Maree Talbot
Alexander Charles Lewis
Alexander John Coggins
Alexander John Turner
Alyssa Kaye Bradford
Amber Louise Whitelock
Andrew Scott Gaughan
Anja Christie Cook
Annalise May Houldsworth
Annazina Cassimatis
Ashleigh Janet Penrose
Ashley Rose Patricia Thomas
Austin Wayne Smith
Ava Mavis Wooster
Ava May Corbally
Aymie-Leigh Jade Eveans
B
Belinda Jo-Anne Muller
Ben Sebastian Wright
Bethanie Kym Crowhurst
Bethany Kae Bowden
Blake Greame Murphy
Blake John Caruana
Braydon Reece Oliphant
Brendan Terry Garland
Brennah Aisling Paterson
Brianna Monique Gibson
Britney May Brown
Brock and Dejay Bowden
Brodie James Cowe
Brodie Jason Kyle Cheung
Brodie Luke Douglas
Bryson Hilton Barry Shepard
C
Caitlin Emma Ryan
Caitlyn Bo Kei Yan
Callen Patrick John Novotny
Callum Luke Ronnfeldt
Callum Thomas Danger
Eastham-Prest
Campbell James Voll
Casey Brice
Casey Lachlan Price
Charli Elise Turnbull
Charli-Zeta Hayes
Chelsey Ellen Rowe
Chloe Maree Irvine
Chloe-Jade Gilligan
Christian Dudley
Claire Laura Celeste Spencer
Clay John Grant
Coltyn Michael Driscoll
Cooper Herbert Walter Tumeth
Courtney Lee Ryan
D
Damien James Lyel Hallewell
Darcy Vincent Schroder
David Robert Kirkwood
David William Allan Koplick
Dean Michael Phillips
Dillian Ryan Walker
Dominic John Jackson
Dominic Patrick Lyons
Dylan James Kearns-Whiting
Dylan James Landers
Dylan Ray Kevin Murphy
Dylan Rex Harvey
Dylan Tyrone Cochrane
BIRTHDATE
ANNIVERSARY
10th March
1st July
15th May
5th September
26th August
18th October
12th July
3rd August
23rd September
20th January
14th March
5th September
6th March
23rd November
30th October
21st October
23rd November
21st November
7th April
29th April
19th December
5th September
15th October
16th February
18th August
4th May
27th November
10th May
7th July
26th January
26th August
21st April
12th March
21st October
24th November
17th December
8th September
30th June
25th March
8th November
4th December
14th January
24th January
12th March
30th June
27th November
26th July
4th December
8th February
19th February
23rd March
18th February
11th November
30th June
14th September
24th February
4th December
21st April
19th February
9th July
30th June
6th April
20th May
4th December
2nd July
22nd March
6th August
29th March
8th November
5th September
20th June
3rd October
10th May
18th July
19th August
28th January
29th December
18th February
30th January
1st February
16th November
3th December
8th January
10th June
8th February
26th January
16th June
11th May
28th March
17th October
11th February
13th February
28th June
3rd February
1st February
3rd March
3rd December
18th April
9th October
21st August
26th January
6th June
11th May
5th June
17th October
12th February
18th April
28th August
1st July
30th March
12th April
29th July
24th December
24th September
18th April
9th October
24th March
20th October
18th June
29th June
7th March
13th May
16th September
24th November
18th February
17th March
14th July
18th May
24th December
12th May
16th November
6th August
NAME
E
Edward Thomas Burton
Elijah Salvati
Eliot Dafydd Adams
Elizabeth Ruth Thomson
Ella Grace Bourke
Ella Louise Longmire
Elliot Foster Brown
Eloise Jane Chipman
Emerson Leece
Erin Madeline McMaster
Ethan Paul Rehberg-Edgar
Evie Grace Ewart
G
Gage Mana Christensen
Georgia Abbott
Grace Catherine Brook-McVey
H
Hamish Isaiah O’Sullivan
Hannah Isabelle Dillon
Harrison James Boundy
Humphrey
Harrison Collins McIntosh
Harrison Thomas Daniel
Harry Thomas Strickland
Hayden Marc Riddell
Hayley Alana Darbey
Holly Rose Naumann
Hunter William Ian Andrew
McInnes-Duke
I
Imogen Grace Freemantle
Isabella Michelle Tredrea
Iszaac James Taylor
Izaak John Bin Barba
J
Jacinta Gail Melita Orcher
Jack Anthony Ingram Purton
Jack Richard Jones
Jacob Daniel Taylor-Humphries
Jacob Mitchell Houweling
Jaidann Gordon Lampard
Jak Anthony Butler Raleigh
James Andrew Donohue
James Michael Scott Edwards
Jarrod Michael Rayner Hurren
Jasmine Robyn Atterwell
Jayden Phillip Bell
Jayden Zachary Michael Kline
Jeremy Glen Dempsey
Jeromee Ross Sippel
Jessica Jordon Whitford
Jessica Joy Jones
Jessica Leigh Megson
Jessica Marie Peace
Jessica Sarah Wuttke
Jobe Michael Henningham
Joe Alford-Leeder
Johnny Tudor Brewer
Jonathon Roy Spencer
Joseph Michael Organ
Joshua Charles Bradbury
Joshua Damian Leigh Haines
Joshua Graehlert
Joshua Joseph Robert Shay
Joshua Paul Johnston
BIRTHDATE
ANNIVERSARY
2nd February
12th August
25th February
24th April
16th September
23rd January
15th November
6th June
9th April
30th July
13th November
18th July
23rd July
12th August
9th March
24th April
29th November
13th July
14th January
9th July
9th April
24th August
30th June
24th December
28th August
28th August
29th October
29th October
24th September 21st September
11th May
28th August
15th July
3rd June
13th December
28th May
26th August
17th August
1st May
19th May
12th December
19th December
7th August
30th January
31st January
18th August
1st June
15th February
13th August
2nd December
5th June
11th August
9 October
1st March
5th June
16th October
9 October
15th July
8th October
27th May
9th September
6th December
31st August
11th March
26th June
9th March
20th February
23rd February
26th August
19th January
17th March
18th July
15th June
15th July
2nd December
29th December
3rd March
7th November
5th January
15th December
11th October
13th June
2nd December
8th January
16th May
2nd June
4th November
29th August
27th December
15th November
14th March
30th December
1st September
9th August
18th September
1st November
10th February
22nd March
15th March
19th January
19th May
25th October
5th September
9th August
8th December
18th April
4th May
14th July
10th March
15th December
11th April
30th September
8th November
14th March
4th September
14th August
5th June
29th August
NAME
BIRTHDATE
K
Kacee Michelle Price
1st December
Kade Adrian Lovell Fragiacomo 9th September
Kash William Delaforce
25th February
Katie Gardiner
23rd February
Keegan Rhys Hardy
28th November
Kobe Reign Whittaker
15th January
Kodi John-Thomas Campbell
3rd January
Kurt Michael Stewart
7th September
Kyla Louise Scells
31st October
Kyle Joseph John Shay
5th January
Kyle Thomas Weir
7th July
Kyra Jane Gibson
17th May
L
Lachlan James Workman
27th November
Lara Isabel Watterson
4th March
Lauren Anne Diefenbach
24th April
Lauren Jodie Whitton
23rd January
Lauren Kate Dreicer
21st October
Leah Hope Golinski
20th February
Leighton-Rhys McCoy-Duggan 20th July
Leni Tiger Fry
6th October
Lindsay Albert Price
21st January
Lionel William Ac
6th October
Little Mervyn
16th July
Luke Allan James Salway
4th May
Luke John Lassman
7th December
Luke Timothy Wilson
13th January
Lindsay Albert Price
21 January
M
Maddison Suzanne Erwin
25th November
Madison Grace Wood
3rd November
Madison Paige Taylor
20th June
Madison Talanya Lyell
22nd May
Maggie Ellen Hoover
9th September
Maison Steven David Drummond 15th February
Marc Jonathon Young
13th September
Marco Kairi Cameron Fujii
10th August
Mason Kerr
21st February
Mathew Gordon Petty
24th January
Matisse Aiyanna Chrzczonowicz 19th May
Max Angus Barker
21st February
Melanie Jane Bauman
31st March
Mia Davies
14th April
Michael John Barrett
23rd August
Michael Robert Parnaby
26th February
Michael Robert Scott Bishop
20th October
Michael Thomas Fitzgerald
1st November
Mitchell Arthur Sticher
14th January
Mitchell James Edwards
3rd September
Mitchyl Jaye Harris
11th August
Molly-Mae Grace Cooper
21st June
N
Natasha Louise Hall
23rd February
Nathan Carl Schmidt
24th June
Nathan Scott Reid “Nay Nay”
3rd May
Nicholas Karydis
26th July
Nicholas Peter Lee
18th January
Nicholas Shane Stehbens
12th June
Nicholas Wayne Curtis
24th June
Nikita Kaya Pollard
29th October
Noah Manley Houweling
30th May
Noah Simon Darryl Gillett
25th April
O
Oliver Joseph Jones
27th September
Oliver Patrick Rivers
30th May
P
Paige Elizabeth Kate Sneddon 6th April
Peter Adam Clarke
7th September
Phoenix Leigh Brown
19th February
|
ANNIVERSARY
NAME
R
Rachel Stephanie Kemp
Randall William Bianchi
Raymond James Moyle
Renee Ashley Pilgrim
Rhiannon Mary Puttee
Richard James West
Riley Kelly
Rorrie William Forrester-Bailey
Ruby Ellen Kowplos
Ryan Selwyn Klibbe
Rylie Andrea Lapwood
S
Sabastian David Fisher-Leach
Sam William Atalla
Sara Emily Schneeberg
Savannah Lee Barr
Scott Robert Young West
Sean David Longmire
Seth Jordan Mackay
Shane Bowen Miller
Shardai Louise McCallum
Shiahn Burke
Sophia Celeste Langford
Sophie Maree Refalo
Steven Ross Jagger
Summer Rose Marriott
T
Tahlia Jane Cassidy
Tamika Maree Eggmolesse
Tara Carter
Tarnia Deborah Louise Morrell
Tasmin Christie Miller
Tayla Jade Cotgrove
Teanne Bishop McDonald
Texas Rose Martin
Giezendanner
Thomas James Hides
Todd Matthew Freemantle
Tristan Llewellyn Thom
Troy Paul Adams
Tyrone Gordon Pomeroy
W
William Ashton Heyward Tye
William David Foster
X
Xavier Leece
Y
Yasmina Nadja Tunks
Yasminah Ann Aziz
Z
Zachary Thomas Cassidy
Zahra Ann McMullen
Zayne Mervyn Kelly Hile
Zayne Thomas- James Elliot
Zoe Elizabeth Peters
27th June
9th September
15th June
1st May
9th March
27th March
9th April
16th March
3rd February
12th February
25th December
17th May
13th December
17th May
3rd June
2nd June
27th July
21st April
11th June
6th October
21st January
6th October
17th July
4th May
7th December
20th July
25th November
12th March
23rd June
6th August
19th January
18th February
27th October
2nd December
21st February
2nd June
27th April
25th June
23rd August
8th August
26th July
7th August
19th February
11th July
8th November
22nd September
31st March
26th August
14th April
BIRTHDATE
ANNIVERSARY
21st March
14th January
27th February
4th February
19th October
11 November
6th March
19th April
19th July
14th July
16th April
21st July
19th January
12th January
25th July
21st November
8th February
10th July
13th May
21st May
29th April
15th May
27th August
25th February
4th September
22nd October
26th March
23th July
10th January
8th February
14th July
16th June
15th August
25th October
15th June
9th September
19th October
25th March
6th July
29th February
7th July
25th October
10th January
17th June
27th February
14th February
9th May
3rd July
27th April
28th April
17th June
19th June
28th March
21st August
18th October
5th July
28th April
18th August
4th December
14th May
7th October
6th January
6th July
18th August
4th December
29th June
5th December
24th June
22nd October
28th May
21st August
11th August
16th April
23rd September 16th May
10th June
25th September
12th July
12th July
31st March
26th March
1st May
26th March
10th October
18th June
25th September
31st December
15 February
15th October
18th June
1st May
1st May
15 February
28th August
8th August
6th October
1st May
20th August
9th November
24th July
11th June
20th November
17th July
|
At SIDS and Kids a compassionate person is always
available to offer support and understanding.
The Todd Freemantle Centre
Telephone: 07 3849 7122
Fax: 07 3849 7121
24 Hour Bereavement Support Link 1800 628 648
ABN: 11 495 594 924
www.sidsandkids.org/qld
www.sideadventuretreks.org
www.rednoseday.com.au

SIDS and Kids Queensland April 2012 Edition

Transcription

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