LESSON PLANTG - StrengthBank® Talk Groups

Transcription

StrengthBank® For High Schools – A Relationship Skills Initiative
Talk Group Activities
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Resources & tips for StrengthBank® talk groups (SBTGs)
Remember to start and end each Talk Group with Partner Pick and Debrief from results of networking since last Talk Group.
(See Administration doc for more)
Before the first Talk Group
SBTG 1
*SBP Plan to take time to come up with talk group rules with the kids. Here are
Introduc- some suggestions of items to start with to give them the idea of what is gotion ing to go on. Then let them comment. They will have read SG1 and answered the questions beforehand so there should be time in the session. It
Path Ex- is critical that they understand this is not just another class discussion.
A. No one has the right answer for anyone else.
pander (PE)
B. Listen with respect to a unique design you may not understand but
One:
is as valid as your StrengthBank® design.
Dreams/
C. Dreams and insights shared with the group are not to be shared outVision
side of the group except by the person whose dream or insight we
heard.
PE Two:
D. Snacks are provided as long as clean up happens by everyone.
Holidays
E. In the course of excitement, try not to interrupt someone when he
and Curent
or she is speaking.
Events
F. Ask questions without hesitation.
G. If you do not have something to say about a particular point, ask that
you be excused from an answer right now. Do not simply sit and say
nothing. This is a talk group.
H. Participate by saying at least one thing each talk group. If you can’t
think of anything, guess at something. It is important that conversations and talking happens in an orderly way in this talk group.
No one has a better StrengthBank® or Animal make-up than anyone else.
We are all equipped with a StrengthBank® and we all have all 4 animals
within us. Let these two truths draw the group together.
What Romance?
As you discovered in the certification process, the text of the introduction
is laid out for visual effects and a rhythm. The students from the beginning
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Evaluation: ComSG 1:
pleting SGs can be Intro
worth a participation grade.
It is critical that the
students participate. You can catch
up in some classes
but this one so specifically builds that
it is much harder to
get the maximum
view if they miss
steps. Absentee
make-ups need to
be creative…
maybe an afterschool talk group
once a month for
those with excused
absences.
The answers can be
graded for content
and we personally
believe that spelling and grammar
should be attended
in all subjects, not
*SBP (The StrengthBank® Principle Book, ) ©2005, StrengthBank Inc., All Rights Reserved. Duplication and use only by StrengthBank®Certified persons and sessions
TG Activities 1 of 61
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need to realize this is not just another elective or academic treatment.
They are about to experience something so personal and powerful that we
need to get them into a frame of mind to receive it just that way. Please
read the background notes provided. Be ready to not go the traditional
path with these kids. Their discovery depends on both the teacher and
mentor:
• Not telling but letting the kids tell themselves.
• Not putting a price tag on ANYTHING they mention.
• Not responding as if they are correct that the money one would
make is a first consideration in choice of dream to follow. Silence is a
safe non-affirmation of throw out money comments at this stage.
The concept will sway them to the truth. Arguing them out of what
they think is right never works (with adults either).
• Making no assessments about the job market right now and their
dreams.
• Staying positive about their revelations even though you know that
some of them are just being “cute.” That is better than their silence.
These are talk groups.
StrengthBank® is a discovery process and must not be rushed. It takes what
all good, healthy relationships take: Time and Energy. The class activities and
StrengthBank® Talk Groups are for that very purpose. As each lesson unfolds
the added activities, class discussions and mentor-led talk groups are designed to help the students "dig-in" to the discovery. Please take all the
time needed to talk about it but, of course, do not stretch as a time-filler or
go on and on when the insight is sufficient.
Ask students to read the beginning text (formatted like the introduction
to The StrengthBank® Principle Book). from SG 1. Let them read it for themselves at each one's own pace and so that the formatting creates the desired
visual effect for each mind. When each has finished, open the SBTG to get at
whatever has occurred to them at this first glimpse of where we are going.
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just English. Even
the students more
gifted at communicating in pictures
need to understand their work
will need written
work, too. With the
availability of spell
check and partners
with gifts for written detail, all is
possible.
Student Projects
that might follow
the talk group.
Create a graphic or
logo that embodies
the introduction’s
idea.
Write a script
drama sketch of
two people or
more discussing
this concept.
Perform the skit
written above.
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Having them complete the questions in SG 1 should help you get to the
heart of the matter in this first talk group.
1. Some helpful questions might be:
a. What came to your mind? (And then wait and prompt with
the question repeated, nudge one or two by name, etc.
This is a talk group. They are to do the talking.
b. Let them simply go as far as they will. Even ask them about
the way the text was arranged on the page. Why would the
text be arranged like that? Open their creative
minds…you will be amazed…
i. Ask how they might have presented the text or the
idea. Start getting a feel for where they might best
communicate to you their understanding.
1. Text
2. Pictures
3. Stories
4. Films
5. Sketches
6. as a sports analogy
c. Inspiring stories – at some point students may pick up on
inspiring stories of people who have lived their dream…
Keep this simple statement as a repetitive reminder of
what StrengthBank® offers:
Now is your chance to live your own inspiring story.
2. As their feedback continues, ask them what they think a dream is.
Tie whatever they say back to what they have just read. They are
either repeating the foolishness of dreams or affirming they know
each has one…etc. Be sure they become clear at the outset that
this entire program is about bringing out what they hold in their
dreams from the time each can remember.
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Write a poem that
individualizes the
introduction.
Write a story about
someone’s dream
grasped.
Research a noted
famous person’s
comments on this
early dream.
*SBP (The St rengthBank® P rinciple Book, ) ©2005, StrengthBank Inc., All Rights Reserved. Duplication and use only by StrengthBank®Certified persons and sessions.
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3. A great question to ask after the talk group has grown participatory by the kids… How did you know your dream? Did your parents tell you? Did your grandparents tell you? How did you know?
a. They will stumble around a bit and finally someone will say
“I have just always known…in my head….I have seen myself…..
i. Press the question about who told each one the
dream. The truth they need to grasp is that there is
a Creator and that they have been created. Human
beings are created beings.
ii. Press on to be sure they understand that the universe was created by the same Creator. That is why
the dream is reliable. It was revealed in your being
from birth, designed with a specific purpose for the
universe into which it was created.
iii. It is imperative that each student begins to get the
jist of following a perfectly created plan for each
life. They know there is a higher power than themExample
selves, the purpose here is to crystallize it into a
TG Actionsconnection with the dreams they “have simply alDream
ways known.”
Example TG Actions-Vision/Dream
After they have finished this activity, you will guide them to begin writing
their first look at each one's own StrengthBank®.)
1. As you are seated in a circle (if possible), ask the question something like
this: “If there were no obstacles, if everything were possible right now, what
is that thing that you have always seen yourself being or doing in this world.
What is your Big Time, no obstacles count dream for your life?”
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NOTE: Some kids will pop off here; that is fine. Take the pop off into account!
Sometimes the pop-off comment is really a disguised StrengthBank® indicator. For example: if someone says life ambition is to be a trash collector, start
asking questions as noted formerly....
a. so do you like the outdoors?
b. do you hate to have on business dress?
c. do you have a sense of satisfaction when trash is removed?
d. do you like large trucks and being in or on one?
e. do you like things that require more physical skill than analytical
thinking?
f. describe how your typical day would go?
Wait. (Let the kids blurt out one by one. Do not let them make excuses
about why it will not work or say that it is stupid. I had one high schooler
actually say “trash man”. Because I know that each divine path for every life
fits into the needs in the world, I brought his example before the group as a
great one. He may have meant it as a joke or “put off” but I chose to take it
seriously. It was a good teaching point to illustrate that there is no better or
worse StrengthBank.® How would you like it if no one wanted to be a trash
man?
KEY POINT: There are worthy things that need to be done in this world that
someone is designed to do. If you do what you are designed to do, you will
do it at the highest levels AND someone will pay you to do it.
If they say something like drug dealer or robber... something unworthy, use
the time to talk about each design is for a worthy pursuit to do something
for the greater good. Anything, including a StrengthBank® can be misused.
However, in the misused state it is not building character but instead perpetrating evil...[more on that later].)
2. Take them through memories of earliest school years to come up with
things they remembered they liked..... and then chose to do when they had a
choice. To get them started, let them remind you that recess is usually a first
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“fun part” memory and go from there. Power they should begin to see is the
power (positive energy, positive behaviors, ease of performance) of Likes +
Choices.
KEY POINT: The ‘fun part” in earliest schooling, that is, recess was the only
time we could do what we liked to do. We could choose! Begin talking the
power here is in likes and choices coming together for relationship power.
When we can choose how to spend our time, it is usually more “fun” for us
and we are more tolerant of others. (Someone will undoubtedly pop off
here with “Yeah, I would like to choose not to do this.” Great responses
come to mind. One might be, “But, in the real world, until we are supporting ourselves we may have to acquiesce to adults choices for us until we
learn how to make better choices for ourselves. Right now is one of the real
world times when learning requires suspension of personal choices.” I do
not usually focus on family time but let them know they can also list favorite
activities outside of school if they wish. (Family situations are not always
pleasant and can sometimes halt the memory or things that are fun. Hopefully, school days serve as a better benchmark for remembering things liked,
i.e., the fun parts.)
If no child says anything, let the adults start. These must be honest! If teaching your subject and your grade is not your completed dream, say so. Kids
pick up insincerity immediately. This must be honest.
3. Start a question and answer dialog with each student;
Take the trash man example: Go to that student and ask deeper questions.
You are trying to put it solidly in his mind or dispel it as a joke or misstatement on purpose. Give students plenty of time to think about each one.
Adults may have to start to demonstrate. This is fine. Sometimes we need to
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be reminded of where our dream will ultimately take us.
1. What clothes would you need to have to do this job? (Everything including gloves, masks, etc.)
2. Your typical workday would be in what environment? (name all locales - sign in warehouse, truck, outdoors, lunch stops, etc.)
3. What advantages would you have that other workers in other jobs
would not have?
4. How would your family (now and future) play a part in your dream
vocation?
5. What have you been told about people who do this job? Good or
Bad
6. What would you get to see or do in this vocation that no one else
would think about?
7. How would you be a valuable member of your local community because you do this particular thing?
8. If you were ask to go to a school on career day, what would you say to
encourage others to think about doing what you are doing?
9. What would your idea of a vacation be if this is what you did for a living?
10. Have you ever talked to someone whose job is what you believe
your dream job is?
11. If you have talked to someone who does you kind of job for a living,
what have they said?
12. What kind of questions did you or would you like to ask someone
who does what you want to do?
13. What would it be worth to you to be able to live your dream? What
sacrifices would you be willing to make? (be specific--like spend 4
years in college, delay marriage until you were established, Not give
up when obstacles get in the way.... etc.)
14. What would keep you from doing this vocation? (This is a great
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teaching point. What the talk groups will be about is breaking down
obstacles into achievable steps. Formula you will see later in the
lessons is: Struggles teach perseverance, perseverance builds character, character builds hope into living life. No one succeeds without Hope.
15. These are the skills and talents that when used:
o give you energy
o "time flies" when you are using
o creates the favorite vision of yourself
o make you realize you have always known this was easy, fun
o others have noticed it
o probably got you into trouble sometimes for it (because it
comes to the fore easily when you were bored or doing
something that was not easy for you)
You may think of other questions to ask depending on what is said. The
point is to let the student begin to see how their unrealized dream could
play out. Later lessons will fine-tune this picture. All we want for now is a
vision they already have and a few test questions to be sure it is their vision
and not something they made up, something someone else taught them to
say, is politically correct, etc. We do not want the beauty contest, "I would
fight for world peace" answers. If answers to the questions are hard to come
from one of the students or do not flow in harmony... perhaps, give them
time to rethink their dream while you talk to someone else.
When It Is the Real Thing
Key behavior you will notice in students who see their dream clearly:
Enthusiasm builds as the student talks
Eyes light up
Creative answers
Get more detailed in the answers they give.
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Do not have a problem talking about it
You begin to feel inspired for that student
Remember: Some of these kids have had their dream beaten out of them to
the point that it may take some time for them to see it again. Never forget
that each one was given a uniquely designed StrengthBank® at birth. No
one is left behind.
Be creative and keep them talking and excitement will build as the talk
groups progress. Do not try to make this an academic exercise. It is a talk
group! Relax and enjoy the revelations you are getting from doing it also.
When you have gotten responses from all in the group and initial questions
have been asked, wrap up by asking:
Do you think it makes a difference if you love what you are doing for a living or if you just find the highest bidder and hate work and have fun after
work? Let them talk, give examples, etc. Find out what they have been exposed to. Debunking the popular statement that you “gotta do something”
to put bread on the table whether you like it or not begins here. There is a
way you can earn your daily bread with your dream. That they need to start
thinking about.
Better if students do not go to a pen and paper exercise for this activity until
after each has brainstormed his or her dream. The introduction is critical in
the process of getting their minds engaged before forcing an “answer.”
“Partner Pick”
As we progress, each Talk Group should see the forming of a new partner
pick. This is how we teach networking and the value of partnering with
people you don’t already know. The purpose of having the kids change partners each talk group and debrief what happened with the networking that
happened between talk groups with respect to speaking to partner is to
teach networking.
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Learning to network is a vital relationship skill and will service them well as
they work and live out life. How many times has someone you "happened to
mention something to" been instrumental in a decision, finding a source for
something, or just learning something you did not already know?
Through community we strengthen each other. The strongest neighborhoods, for example, are the ones where neighbors know each other. We are
encouraging kids to take into account the people around them. They are in
these human configurations for a reason; it is not an accident.
To be unable to take part in life with the people placed around us leads to
shallow living and self-absorbed focus....all the negative relational behaviors
that diminish the development of StrengthBanks working together. Human
beings do not become functional with others while remaining solo.
You might think of a clever way to pick your new partner as you enter the
room for each talk group. First person you see with whom you have not previously partnered and who is not your partner for this talk group; teacher
assigns at random as each walks into the room, next person to come in after
you have entered, etc. Keep them partnering amongst each other and
mentors can be partners, too. (If mentors partner, be sure to contact student two times before next session. No mentor should partner with any one
student more than once and mentors should partner only to “even things
out”-not as a first choice. One child does not have the same partner all year
(semester, trimester). Many different and diverse personalities is the way
they will be asked to work in the real world…on project teams that change
frequently, have new members constantly, require meeting different people constantly (especially if in a service environment or one that deal with
the public). StrengthBank® can be seen from many people, not just one favorite partner. Changing will also accommodate new members easily. For
example, the first partner picks should be someone each one does not know
well or does not know at all. It is far better to keep best friends apart as often as possible.
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The first StrengthBank® Talk Group should get beginning insights of the big
dream (upon which StrengthBank® is based) from each student, teacher, and
adult volunteer.
Pre- “The Way I See My Life Right Now ”
program Hand out the survey form that will be used to compare to growth periodiSurvey cally. At first the students may have “no clue” about some of the free-form
answers. Let them know that if they do not have a lot to say in any one category, that is fine. One of the purposes of the StrengthBank® Talk Groups will
be to have more to say. better define some of the areas. One of the purposes of the StrengthBank® Talk Groups will be to better define some of the
areas. However, by the time they see it again, they will have more to say.
Measurement requires seeing where we are now and where we are after
we have had talk group input over time.
Mentors also need to see this information. If new mentors come in at break
points (semester, trimester, beginning of year) this is a great way for them to
get acquainted with the kids quickly. The talk groups are made up of random ages so that they remain constant except for new students enrolling in
mid-year and new sophomores to replace seniors each year. This makes for a
grand mix similar to what each will be experiencing in life at work, in the
community, at church, etc.
Insure students feel comfortable that this information is for talk group use
only. It is not a test. All answers are correct because the answers come from
their lives. This is a way to let them think about some things they may not
have thought about before. Relax and use it as an opportunity to focus on
themselves rather than a school subject.
Once filled out, ask them to keep them in a permanent StrengthBank® Talk
Group Folder you will keep for them. Let them know that at the end of the
course they will have an opportunity to change, add, and review what they
write now because the folders will be given back.
Using the format of the survey is a great way for mentors to initially intro-
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Student Strength- SG 2
Bank® Folder:
All talk group activity assignments
should be kept in a
3-ring binder
(could also be kept
on disk if that is
available as long as
there is a current
back-up disk at all
times.)
(Some of the items
in the folder will be
used again in the
program. For example, we will revisit the interview
after learning the
Animals, etc.)
The other elements covered in
this talk group are
shown on the Content Map as well as
on this grid as they
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duce themselves to the students. Mentors are cautioned to be honest and
occur.
sincere. Do not fabricate answers. Kids pick up fake adults quicker than
adults do. They will not relate as we need them to if the adult isn’t willing to
“be mentored” as well as mentor.
If there is a question the adult cannot answer or chooses not to, the kids
will invoke the same methodology. These are not deep, dark secrets. These
questions are designed to ask questions where there will be better or more
measurements to answer as we go along. Short answers or seemingly uninformed answers are fine. We are at the beginning. If the students could fill
in the whole thing in huge paragraphs, we would not have work to do. We
want their beginning perspective.
SSBBTTGG 22
The Basics: Torturous Fear, False Confidence, Sense of
Humor
*SBP Refer to SG 3 where the students get the text and applications to learn
Chapter 1 how these words work in the concept. It is critical they understand these
foundational themes as the entire concept references them to illustrate
**SBLG: how relationship savvy or ignorance is at the root of all three.
TBA Connecting SG 3 and SG 4:
The SG 4 interviews will have begin or may be and in tandem with this talk
group that includes definition clarification and ideas gathered or being
gathered from the interviews. Are they seeing any torturous fear….etc?
Students Refer to the SG 4 and prepare the students with a framework for these inInterview terviews based on what you may be observing in lives around you, that is,
results Dreams fulfilled, dreams in progress, dreams not fulfilled and not in progress, how often people refer to what they always dreamed they would do
and pretend it was not a reality. Let them get interested in excuses many
have that are seemingly “understandable” but stopped the progress or the
reasons people sometimes give for achieving their dream… usually not a
direct route a seemingly insignificant something that was supposedly un-
SG3
Basics
Definitions
Student Project
Ideas: Role play a
particularly colorful interview for
the class.
Take class on a
field trip to interview a local celeb-
SS 1-2
SG 4
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Concept
Metaphor
SSBBTTGG 33
Discovery
Steps
Example
TG Actions
WOG B
predictable. Get their curiosity up but caution them to just ask the questions and let the answers fall where they will. Give them a chance to be an
unbiased reporter. When they experience being unbiased…well, all kinds
of new awareness can come in. Stress that they should not editorialize the
answers. Go over the questions on the worksheet to be sure everyone is
clear about what to ask and how.
This would be a good time to bring in some of the advanced drama kids to
do a role play about what one of the interviews might look like. If you have
that opportunity, use it. Every chance you get to include another teaching
discipline is good…you are showing the kids your networking prowess!
See SG 5 for details. This section is to clarify any misconceptions and help
the kids get more out of the way the concept is presented. It is a chance to
teach through extended metaphor as the StrengthBank® gains greater visibility for them.
The StrengthBank® Discovery steps give the kids the opportunity to start
grasping the idea specifically for themselves. SG 6 takes them with text
modified from *SBP Chapter I to the completion of the 7 step StrengthBank® learning process. Go at their pace. Each step is crucial. Pay special
heed to absentees that they don’t miss a step. Hopefully, this is the class
they will come to even if they miss others!. Hey, we can dream, can’t we?
These steps are where they learn the WOGs. From here they will learn the
AWOGs in Path 2.
Discovery Steps Begin 1-3
Example TG Actions WOG B
"Today's Frequent Talents List"
A. Have students fill out "Today's Frequent Talents List"
(For adults (faculty and mentors) use your job or primary activity each day
rather than school day activities.)
I.
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rity (student sets it
up with your help)
(Short of a field trip
you might arrange
for the superintendent or officer of a
parent booster
club to come to
school and be interviewed.)
Write a script or
short story based
on an interview.:
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SG 5
Assignment Evalua- SG 6
tion Idea;
Lots of necessary
completion on
their parts. The
importance that
they are attempting each exercise
in order of its appearing cannot be
overstressed.
SS 3-6
Have each student list 8 to 10 talents and skills they use every day (To-
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day’s Frequent Talents List"). Read the directions with the kids and be
sure they know they are looking for talents and skills their current activities require on a daily basis.
Stay with this until each one has a list of at least 6.
Get them to think about their current schedule. What talents (regardless of skill level ) are they being asked to use this semester?
BIG POINT: This list will change every time there is a school-day schedule change. And, get them to talk about irregular days within each semester:
Pep Rally days
Special Assembly days
Testing days
On special days, some additional or changed talents and skills may be
needed.
Example:
Pep Rally days: I have to make a decision about what I would rather do:
attend a pep rally or go to study hall or come to school late or leave
early.
Everyone has to use their creative talents to stay with an different
schedule and pick different than ordinary times to do things like lunch,
first period class, second period class, etc. Everyone’s entire schedule is
changed and will be changed back on the next school day. Ability(skill)
to make constant, irregular changes without being unduly stressed is
tested.
If I am a ball player, I have to “perform” in front of an audience but not on
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the playing field for this event.
If I am a cheerleader, I have to be able to perform in a gym rather than
on a playing field.
If I am a participant, I have a chance to use my talent for rhythm and
memory to chant and learn the dances, moves, and words.
If I am a band member, I have to be able to use my musical talents normally used in marching without marching.
If I choose not to attend the rally, I have a chance to spend more time
___________________________
Etc.
Background Necessities
Be sure each understands what a talent and skill is. Define and give examples (definition from Merriam-Webster):
SKILL: 1. ”a learned power of doing a thing competently : a developed or
acquired aptitude or ability” 2. ” a coordinated set of actions become
smooth and integrated through practice.”
TALENT: 1. “the abilities, powers, and gifts bestowed upon a man : natural
endowments.”
2. “a special innate or developed aptitude for an expressed or implied activity usually of a creative or artistic nature -- often used in plural <students
with talents in music find both recreation and training -- Bulletin of Bates
College>” 3. “ general intelligence or mental power”
Examples of Skills:
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swimming
playing musical instrument
sports activity
hobby
etc.
Examples of Talents:
Singing
getting up and speaking in front of others
figuring out solutions to puzzles
organizing others
being the fastest to finish reading
creating music at a higher level than other players
being the fastest to finish a sports activity
good at “______________________” (coming up with a
plan for the group, making others laugh, listening to others, math, English,
geometry, etc.)
Summary:
Talent comes with you when you are born. Skill is the level at which you
use a talent. We have skill levels in things for which we have little talent.
Example: I have some talent in gymnastics but not enough to really enjoy the process of getting better at gymnastics. I cannot even do a somersault.
I have some talent to sing. I sing in the shower but would not enjoy being a professional singer and sing in front of others.
 Have each Student put a star to the left of the talent or skill he or she
uses most frequently in daily activities now. (If they just cannot narrow
it to one, each may choose 2 but no more.) This is not in the past or in the
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future but NOW; what is most frequently called from them NOW.
 Now, ask the students to make a similar list that does not consider the
school day, but uses as the background for the list or skills and talents all
the other parts of a day and the weekends. What we want to get here is
a different list. When you are doing different regimens, you use your
talents and skills differently.
Example:
If the student has a part-time job, what skills and talents does he/she
regularly use. Some might cross over depending on the job but
“making change” that is a big part of retail work, for example, probably would not be a main skill used during the school day nor would:
Pumping gas
Sweeping floors
Stocking shelves
Serving food
Mixing drinks (soft drinks at Sonic, Dairy Queen, etc.
This list can be as creative as all the outside activities represented in
the room. Some will be jobs, some will be hobbies:
Horseback riding
Training Quarter horses
Working with handicapped kids
Singing in groups
Playing in a rock band
Competitive tennis, swimming, etc.
Ballet lessons
 Again, have them star the one each likes the best.
 For both lists, have the students write in the column next to each list
how they feel when doing each of the items on the list. Make sure they
use different feelings for each item. “Bored” for each one is not acceptable. We want them to start identifying feelings related to events they
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experience daily.
Example:
Marching in the band
Math
Sports
Cleaning my room
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excited, tired, bored,
challenged, hate it, anxious, love it
having a good time, challenged, nervous
like it, feel good when finished, hate it,tired,
mad
SSBBTTGG 44
Discovery Steps Continue 4-5
SS
7-12
SF I,II
SSBBTTGG 55
Discovery Steps Continue 6-7
SS
13-16
SF III
Example TG Actions for WOG C
Example
Now
have
students
use
WOG
C
and
point
to
the
first column that is blank.
TG Actions
Remind
them
that
each
has
already
brainstormed
what will be in this colWOG C
umn. it is a matter of writing it down. You might demonstrate on an overhead using your StrengthBank® list.
Remind them: Get down the favorite things to do the favorite skills and
talents they remember liking to do in earliest memory in elementary school
(or before.) Each has now listed them (8-10 or more) in the StrengthBank®
column.
Now have each one put a star by the talent or skill listed that is his or her
favorite - each remembers this as his or her favorite in earliest years. We are
not dealing with today, we are recalling our favorites from earliest memories.
Voice the StrengthBank® Colum n
A. Have each student turn to a partner and read the list each just wrote.
When the starred item is to be read, give a quick anecdotal 2 or 3 sentences
for it.
For example: My ✮’d item would be “talking in front of people” so my
anecdote might be: “Yes, even if it was the paragraph in history class, I
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would volunteer to read aloud.”
B. Watch the group. Let them “get into it.” If you will let it happen, they
will start getting louder, laughing, gesturing easily explaining their anecdote.... This is the most important time in the beginning session...letting them “see the light.” You are watching them be able to
converse with each other about things both of them feel good about. Do
not rush them to finish. Relational power is here!
When you call the talk group back to order ask one question: “How did
that feel. Good or Bad? Most will nod “good” or say “great” or
“silly” or ___________________.
• Point out to them that this is what it feels like to be talking about
your StrengthBank® and be talking to someone who is also talking
about something in his or her StrengthBank®
• Point out that feelings come from THOUGHTS.
 What were you thinking about, talking about?
 Right! What you loved to do, what was fun for you.
 What was the other person thinking about and talking about?
 Right! What he or she loved to do, what was fun for that person.
(Later in WOG J and K we will come back to this principle.)
What would it be like all day long if everyone was thinking about and talking about his or her StrengthBank® activities? Hummm? Right! Nirvana.
That is not going to happen. However, as we progress in these talk groups,
we want to get your StrengthBank® so clear to you that you can see someone else’s: You are so comfortable with your own that it is easy to look at
someone who has a totally different StrengthBank® and say:
"Wow, that is “cool”!
There is a better chance that more of our relating can be based on mutual
StrengthBanks than on:
“Why can’t you be “cool” like me?”
The former has the making of good relationships; the later is a relationship
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killer. Here begins appreciation for differences, more than appreciation,
expectation of differences.
Ask them to remember this moment. Bring it up often as a reminder
throughout StrengthBank® Talk Groups. It is so easy to forget what a good
conversation is supposed to look like, feel like, and produce. It is the same
feeling you will have when you are experiencing good conversations. This is
the goal we seek in all relationships so that both of us feel heard whether
we agree or not. (In a later expander called "Conflict")
KEY POINT: As students remember their pleasant exchange of a few moments ago, ask
”How hard would it have been to make you mad at that moment?
Easy?
Difficult?
Why?
The answer you are moving them to is that when I am in a “good mood”
(talking to someone about what I like and hearing the other’s view on his or
her likes, I am calm and not ready to be confrontational.
The conclusion you want them to come to is that StrengthBank® alive and
well is a confidence producer, a way to stay engaged in what is going on
rather being in a defensive posture that says you have to prove yourself in
every conversation.
Being solidly confirmed in StrengthBank® is a life-long composure no matter what happens. Everyone has a StrengthBank® so there is relational
contact point, something with which we can relate to each other that will
please both of us. The problem is that everyone is not aware of his or her
StrengthBank®.
Our goal in dealing with others will become giving them a glimpse of their
worth to maintain functional relationships with them. Always possible at
some level. (Hope is now rising to the surface....)
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SSBBTTGG 66
*SBP
Chapter 2
SSBBTTG
G 77
*SBP
Chapter 2
Before these next two talk groups, be sure to read the Path Expander: Positive Places on the AWOGs. SF IV is presented here as well. Much of what can
lead up to the talk groups in these foundational concepts is outlined in Student Guide 8 and the background is in *SBP . The SGs are outlined in the
same order and with the same section titles as the book. Get lots of feedback so that you know they are anchoring the points to use on the upcoming
AWOGs
Preparation for WOG F
Have students take a look at the WOG C in total and suggest how the other
columns are going to fit with each one's filled in StrengthBank® column. Let
them simply brainstorm. Some interesting observations may come from
their guesses. Just go with it. You are just letting them get a framework for
the next activity. This should only take about 5 minutes. It is a warm up.
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22,23
WOG F
Now that they have made some comment about behaviors and the animals
they see pictured on the StrengthBank® WorkOut Grid, have them pull out
the “Behavior Styles Survey.” Go over the directions making sure each understands that there is not right or wrong. That one section will have more
circles than the others. That one section may have very few circles.
Make sure all words are clearly understood. We do not want a vocabulary
problem to generate wrong results. In the interest and time and best results, read aloud the words and have the group go through the survey with
you. That way no one with agonize over a word or dig too deep into a meaning and not know which ones to circle. As you read the words, demonstrating or giving additional synonyms and letting students give you synonyms is
helpful for accuracy (especially if you have English as a Second Language
(ESL) students in the room).
Be sure there is vocabulary understanding on a first exposure level. Do not
get caught up in diving deep into nuances of meaning or they will get
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"bogged down" in semantics. Simply ask them what a word means to them
to check for first response understanding. If they are on track, move on
quickly..
If the totals for two sections are equal, tell them to make an arbitrary
choice about which one is most like them. There must be a 1, 2, 3, 4. (If a
student has nearly the same number in every section marked…encourage
them to think of most usual 55% of the time, not every single thing each has
every thought about being. Equal sections indicates high stress or not understanding the instructions-same thing is true for only one circled in each
section.
Animal WorkOut Grids Introduction
Students are ready now to see how answers appear on the AWOGS H-I as #1,
#2, #3, #4 preferences. Have them transfer #1, #2, #3, #4 to the WOG H.
Remember! One style is not bad and another good. As you
begin talking about the styles, do not show preferences for one or the other
by having only good stories about one and bad stories about another. Be
sure you can get into the pace or focus of each one easily even though you,
too, have #1, #2, #3, #4 preferences. Later you are going to let the students
guess what they think your #1, #2, #3, #4 is. Be ready to hear them positively
and encourage them in the ability to “see” and “hear“ you preferences.
Watch the language they use related to what animal is "uncool" and what
one is "cool." This is a great place to begin the "all-styles-have-value." We
all use all of them with differing frequency. In fact, if you cannot
stand one of the styles, that means you cannot stand a particular functional,
relationship-nurturing part of yourself....(We are not into denial or self-hate.
Students begin here to see that some of their prejudice is based on opposing styles in people whose StrengthBank® and accompanying personality
styles are not what they have traditionally appreciated. They may have
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purposely failed to talk to or get to know a person with an opposite #1 preference. [nerds vs jocks, cheerleaders vs debate team, drama club vs drill
team, etc.] Gaining greater appreciation for self can move them to better
understanding of others and teach them how to get along with others who
have opposite styles that accompany sometime opposite StrengthBanks.)
Ask students how they think the grid works. Again, let them set up a
thought framework before you tell them how it works.
AWOGs Demonstrated.
Point out how AWOG H and I are set up for two simple indicators:
People Focus/Task Focus
Slower Pace/Faster Pace.
Keep it simple. Take time to model or let them model the variations of People focus/Task Focus and Slower Pace/ Faster Pace styles in speaking, moving, gesturing, eating, walking, etc. Be absolutely clear that they see how
the grid works. Note the outer edges and that behaviors in the outer edges
are not the pleasant part of us. That only in coming to center do we have
pleasant, easy-to-get-along-with behaviors.
Note difference in Aggressive vs Passive
Note how Passive Aggressive might sound:
St. Bernard #1/Mustang #2: "Yes, I will do it." Later you discover
she did nothing.
Example for passive-aggressive - St. Bernard #1/Mustang #2
Committee member agrees to bring refreshments to the meeting. She
"forgets" and you have nothing. The passive-aggressive manipulation is that
who can punish someone for "forgetting"? After all, we all forget. Right?! If
you recognize that might be what is happening, learn to ask more questions
than just accepting the "yes"--if you suspicion you have a St. Bernard who is
moving to the outer edges. "What kind of refreshments do you think you
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will bring? When do you plan to pick them up or make them - the reason I
ask is that I might be available to help you if I knew when you plan to do it.
Or, maybe another committee member will want to help. Would you mind
calling me just before you get them or start preparations? I want to be sure
we have the count for the meeting correct. Oh, can I reach you at
_____________ just before you get or pick up the items...etc."
The idea is that a St. Bernard may move closer to center and tell you the
truth about whether he or she is going to bring the refreshments if you will
use your St. Bernard (regardless of your first preference) to spend nonconfrontational time up front. Then, when the person actually brings the
refreshments as promised, thank profusely and more than once.
The passive-aggressive behavior, for whatever reason are behaviors you can
understand. You have those styles too and when you feel uncomfortable,
you have at some time exercised this very behavior. Maybe this is not your
frequent GONE BADÓ but you have been here. Maybe next time so much of
your time to get to center with this behavior GONE BAD may not be required. It depends on the St. Bernard behavior and how you treat that person with a #1 St. Bernard between now and then. Relationships build or
are destroyed moment by mom ent!
Ask kids for examples when that they now recognize as passive-aggressive
with a #1 St. Bernard behavior “GONE BAD.” Be sure to point out the behaviors on the Conversations WorkOut Grid and if they have misdiagnosed, lead
them to the better diagnosis. You are teaching them to bring in scenarios
where they have been uncomfortable and let the class help by using the
AWOG.
Yes, relationship success is leadership and requires work on your part, too.
Maybe the St. Bernard will learn to stay closer to center with you, maybe
they will resist. Either way, you are supported to yourself in knowing you
had some tools and can use them again if needed. Some require it; some
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don't. Take joy in the folks who "are not so much work" and learn your relationship skills at a higher level by dealing with those who will not function
in center with you.
Example: Passive-Aggressive- Owl #1/Chimpanzee #2: "I gave you all the
information you asked for." Later you discover one important piece of information was missing but it is too late
Again the solution will be conversations spurred by questions up front. "I
know you have so much information about this, let me ask you a question,
what should I have asked you and did not? What piece of information later
on is going to be critical for me that I did not ask about? I really appreciate
your expertise on this. There is no way I could be as accurate as you are
about this."
In your ongoing relationship with this person, ask for more detail as you go.
Relationships build or are destroyed moment by moment!
The Owl part of us likes to answer questions about our area of expertise. It
is flattering. Over time you will find that the #1 Owl behavior will not be so
nit-picking and over explanatory if you will ask them for information more
often all the time, not just when you need something important,
No te that Passive is not Bet te r than aggressive; both are "GONE
B AD " behaviors.
Preferences….Not Voids
Before you go any further, it is important that the students understand that
styles are preferences.
Example: Right-handed or Left handed (Even if someone says they are ambidextrous, note that there is still a preference for one hand over the other
for certain tasks.)
The style preference comes with you; it is designed to go with your
StrengthBank®. (Give them info about what happened when we said left-
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handed was wrong and tried to make everyone right-handed even if they
were born with a left-handed preference.
http://www.io.com/~cortese/left/southpaw.html
http://www.alligator.org/edit/issues/97-sprg/970306/e02left.htm
Point out what we covered in the training that we all have all preferences
just like we all have some level of skill with both arms. However, if we are
forced to use our less preferenced arm because our most preferenced arm is
broken, we feel awkward and ill-equipped, at first, for even the simple task of
brushing teeth. As time goes by we get better at using our less preferenced
arm but are never quite as comfortable as we are when we have our most
preferenced arm in use. (Be creative. Let them try to do something simple
with their less preferenced hand or arm. Activity possibilities: write name
on the chalk board with less preferenced hand; bounce a basketball with less
preferenced arm, type with only the less preferenced hand, buckle a belt
with less preferenced hand, draw a simply design with less preferenced
hand, cut a piece of cake, pie, etc. with less preferenced hand…etc.)
So it is with personality styles. We have all four to varying degrees. When
we are doing things we like to do, we are in our favored (#1 or #2) preference. That's when relationships work best. When we have to do things we
do not like, that are not comfortable, we often are in the "GONE BAD" part of
our #1 or #2 preferences. Cite examples from the exercise you just did.
Some kids probably just quit, or shouted that this was stupid or.... We are not
our most congenial selves out of our #1 and #2 preferences any more than
we are our most lovely selves when we cannot use our most preferenced
arm or hand.
This analogy can be used over and over as the kids bring in scenarios to
“grid” and say something like “why did he or she say or do that?”
Big point: We have all been in the "GONE GOOD" and "GONE BAD" realms
of the grid. Have each student talk about times when each has seen himself
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or herself "shouting" even though, “I am a #1 St. Bernard.” Not telling
someone the truth in fear that it will hurt the other person's feelings like:
"You have spinach between your teeth," even though I am a #1 Mustang
who likes to tell it like it is, etc. Help them see, however, that most often
when things are not working for them (out of their comfort
zone)they______________ (List a frequent "GONE BAD" behavior here for
each style. Note the “GONE BAD” Styles Survey. The students should begin
to realize that they could have picked their #1,#2,#3,#4 using these as
well…should see themselves same as in the Behavior Styles Survey. However, we don't want to develop more of these; we want to know what to do
with ourselves when we meet them in others or see them in ourselves so
that we keep better conversations and lower frustration. We all have "GONE
BADs" - coming up with the styles that way is a bit negative. However, later
it will help confirm by frequency that the #1 is truly the #1 for each one, the
#2 is truly the #2, etc.
SSBBTTG
G 88
*SBP
Chapter 2
Have some fun here! Let them tell you what they see when they "know you
are not having a good day." (Or the principal....nurse, counselor, other
teacher, parents, friends...) We all read behaviors at some level. What we
want to do here is get specific about how to read them for a more frequent
positive use, that is, to create better conversations that evoke more positive
behaviors.
Come up with examples of how one idea or statement would be presented Project Idea:
4 different ways related to the 4 styles. We typically use "It takes too long."
Get Partner Pick
Use it or pick another more relevant to kids like:
Partners to brainstorm a great ex“You have only seven minutes to get to class.”
ample for one of
the ideas pre“Meeting is tomorrow afternoon, be there.”
sented in the text.
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“Pep rallies do not last long enough.”
If you have a songwriter, maybe they
could compose a
Special Note for following demonstrations: This is a great place to get one of song about songs
the students with a dramatic bent who understands the concept to “perand their benefit or
form” these. Also a great place to get the kids to come up with their own
something. If it is
songs…making sure the songs they choose have the right rhythm (pace) and something really
words (focus). In the background below is listed some song suggestions for
great that we could
each style. It is important that you really get into this! Sing! You don't have use in future proto be a good singer. It is important that the “relationship stress relief song“ grams, we might
methodology take root. We are going to dig deeper during the Path Exeven buy it from
pander “Feelings.” Music is a great therapy in all of our lives if we learn how them.
to use it properly.
Use every chance
Demonstrate the “GONE GOOD” way to say it and the “move to center” way to show the kids
to reply. Then make the point that if using the style it takes to come to cen- the career possiter starts to irritate you, “sing a little song in your head“ that makes you
bilities for their
smile and remember that you have some of this style, too.
Holiday Idea: Whatever holiday is
Songs as a methodology comes up here. Have some fun with this. Ask the
coming up, use it.
kids when they sing. They all sing! You may even have a student who sees
There are usually
that as part of his or her StrengthBank®. Start encouraging them to suggest songs associated
songs that fit the beat or message of what we are talking about. As you
with holidays. Have
know, that is one of the mechanisms used in *SB P. The more they feel their the kids identify
music can be included in this class, the more they feel this StrengthBank®
the Animals’ favorthing really is about them. Yeah, someone will go too far… they are teenites. One Christmas
agers, after all. Put on your toleration ears and remember what it was like in we chose a Christhigh school when you listened to what adults called garbage…you know,
mas carol that exlyrics that had such deep meaning like: Do wah do wha do wha ditty, talk
pressed each Ani-
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about the girl from New York City, She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, she loves
you yeah yeah yeah, We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine a
yellow submarine, and don’t forget, achy, breaky heart….she stomped that
sucker flat. You get the drift.
AWOGs Practiced
1. Let the students in partners or small groups of 4 come up with examples
of 4 ways to demonstrate how each style would say,
“No. I don’t want to go out with you.”
“No, I do not care for Brussels sprouts.”
“No, I am not going with you.”
(or something with a No need to say. We have trouble saying "No" gracefully...good practice for saying no to drugs, cigarettes, sex... We are not getting that heavy here. However, every time a better way to say no is taught,
the word as a choice is opened up for use positively in the teenage vocabulary.) In partners or groups then present what each developed. Critique
each one to see that we could clearly determine the differences in style by
the way something was said and the words used.
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mal. It told me a lot
about how the kids
understood the
pace and priority of
each one:
Silent night: St.
Bernard
Jingle Bell Rock:
Chimpanzee
12 Days of Christmas: Owl
Up On the Housetop: Mustang
2. Ask each of them which one is the hardest for them to portray. After everyone has said which one is the hardest, let them know that is normal. In
fact, it is abnormal to say that all of them are easy for you.
Anyone who has tried to make all columns have the same number of circles
or says that all styles are their favorites is in extremely high stressed and trying to please everyone. They have virtually avowed they have no distinctness. Very disturbing and probably a matter for some one on one conversations until they see distinct preferences.
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The one that is hardest to comfortably portray for any length of time displays
where much relationship work will be needed...always. You are not trying to
change someone’s style preferences or you would be denying that they
have a StrengthBank® it needs. Our goal is not to make #4 into #1 preference, but to become more comfortable with using that style to draw others
in to me in my StrengthBank®. So that we can “hear” each other, accomplish
things together in harmony.
There are people in the room who find one person's hardest style as the
easiest for another person. That is why we need each other....to balance
styles so that no matter what happens, someone will have the #1 style
needed in the situation and we are willing to let them use it because we
know our #1 is elsewhere, needed for another important circumstance.
(Shared Leadership....in actuality the only REAL leadership.)
Stay with it until you feel each of them understands that there are at least
4 (but in reality hundreds) of ways to say the same thing depending on style.
This one tenet keeps life interesting and unpredictable. Those who do not
learn to flex to others by using all personality style potential, find life becomes very frustrating and joyless because StrengthBank® remains unused,
dormant... can not be seen because no one is drawn to you for simple conversation.
The only way our StrengthBank® is seen is through relationship with others.
To drive the point home, you might use historical figures or current people
in the news and have what they say said in the style of someone else. Example: Have President Bush give a press release statement but in the style of
Mohammed Ali; Dolly Parton give a tip on dating but in the style of Barbara
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Walters, etc. Let the kids get creative here. Anytime you can, let them give
the demonstration! The point is that they see different styles in action and
different results come from how something is said by a particular person.
When you change the style, you change the impression and meaning we get
from the same statement. Dolly Parton is not a journalist and her style is not
a convincing journalist’s style. Mohammed Ali is not a politician and his style
is not convincing for a press release.
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Personality styles will also be used as benchmarks for keeping conversations
started. However, what we want to keep stressing is that one style coupled
with any profession is not better than another. If a person does not like a
personality style, the person is saying he or she does not like a part of herself
or himself. Hummmm, we are moving into the realm of teaching that in relationships it is dangerous to assume someone is against you because the
other’s style differs or you just do not like "that kind of person.
Now is the time to start getting the kids to come up with their own examples. They can work with different partners each talk group to get examples
from their own lives, current events, other class research, tv clips, etc. From
here on out, the kids talking their own examples is the thrust. They are to
become very familiar with “taking things to the workout grids” and showing
others how the situation demonstrates how to get from GONE GOOD to
GONE BAD or the reverse. Practice, practice, practice.
M.A.S.H episodes are great to show them how. I usually have an oversized,
laminated set of the AWOG and the WOG C and place them under the tv
screen and leaned up against the av cart. As episodes show an animal style
working or transforming from GONE BAD to GONE GOOD or the reverse, I
stop the tape and ask the kids: “What did you just see about the Animals?” If
they get it I commend them and go on. If they don’t I explain, rewind and let
them see it again before going on. Seems to work well and they like the
Project Idea:
Let the kids choose
the medium they
wish to use to
demonstrate their
grasp of an SS or
AWOG basics or
WOG C as it displays
on AWOG.
SS
27-29
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M.A.S.H. characters and the show is relatively clean by today’s standards. The
series is usually available, too, so that they can watch some on their own and
it is easy for you to grab various episodes to tape. I don’t usually get completely through any episode before they start bringing their own stuff – the
goal.
IT IS CRUCIAL THAT THE AWOG DOES NOT OVERSHADOW WOG C. THE AWOG
IS A BLOW UP OF THE INTERIOR COLUMS OF WOG C-KEEP REMINDING THEM.
We do not want them to lose the connection of the two workout grids. MAJOR LEARNING point in the connection of the two.
There are many options to let them do their own version of “It takes too
long” demonstration. This is a chance to get the Animals into their own
phrases. Also, fertile for their imaginations is the 4-way demonstrations. Let
them pick their own applications for the 4-way approach to things.
As adults they will experience departments of people with a similarity like
they see in the math department vs the fine arts department, etc. They can
begin to observe that even amidst like interests, all 4 personalities are
there…or not. When a department or team is made up of clones, there is
usually high tension. However, if a hiring manager is astute at what we are
talking about, he or she will look for the like interest and then choose to
balance the team with Animals rather than assume the like interest
(strength/dream) means the people will get along well together.
An im portant point to show here is that column #1 on WOG C
does not predict AWOG 1, 2, 3, 4 preferences!
If it did, everyone with a similar dream would have exactly the same personality style. How boring that would be: For example:
• All actors could only play one part.
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caricature
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fun, how Animal
icons we are using
are caricatures…
etc.)
So many mediums
can participate:
• Written dialogue,
essays, advertisement…
• drawings
• photography
•
In fact, you might
mention that if no
one could write or
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All Presidents of the United States would have the same personality
draw a caricature of
you, well, it probaExample: I like to take prominent Presidents of the past (I stay away
bly means that you
from too current references so that the discussion will not be jaded by
are not letting the
their personal feelings – another interesting point about presidential
real you come
politics or elections… how much our feelings predict rather than our
through. We all
brains? Hummmmmm That for another course.)
have our speciaties.
o President Truman (#1 Mustang-Cigar in mouth “The buck Note examples
stops here.”)
given here and that
o President Bush (the first) (#1 St. Bernard – kinder, gentler, there are literally a
million ways to
nation)
o President Reagan (#1 Chimpanzee – Great Communicator- demonstrate it.
speeches replete with metaphors “The crew of the space
shuttle Challenger honored us by the manner in which they
lived their lives. We will never forget them, nor the last time
we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for their journey and waved good-bye and "slipped the surly bonds of
earth" to "touch the face of God.")
o President Nixon (Owl – “Let me make this perfectly clear“
and make hand gestures for “quotes” to punctuate his
speeches.
• All advertisements would be directed at a one-style population.
Every ad might be Mustang-style like the current Allstate
Ad, Champanzee -style like the Cingular or Target current
ads, Owl -style like the many cholesterol ads, or St. Bernard-style like the current Chase Manhatten or Citibank
ads.
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There are many ways to demonstrate the point and it is critical that the kids
understand that putting on the personality of a profession will not make
that your StrengthBank®. If more parents understood this, they would stop
trying to push kids into careers not suited to the StrengthBank® of the child
that will manifest itself in the appropriate Animal mix for the environment
best for that child’s StrengthBank®. For example, law degree does not necessarily mean lawyer for the District Attorney’s office or a large law firm. It
might be handling legal issues for the homeless or a nonprofit business, or
being an actor who is particularly adept at writing courtroom dramas. Life is
too unique to predict it. That is why the discovery of the dream is so important. The dream (StrengthBank® calling) followed works out all the other
issues because it was designed with them involved. Nothing short of amazing and exciting on the receiving end. Life will never be dull in your
StrengthBank® because you will never know or reach the full extent of
it…that’s in the design. Woweee! Let the students feel that excitement
that what they are seeing in themselves is an original! And, original is good!
Put another way, ask if they have ever noticed that the friends they choose
are not clones of one another. There is a reason….
Choosing to your StrengthBank® rather than to a convenient or seemingly
easier option has relational consequences. People are drawn to others who
are confident (and we all can be if we know we have a StrengthBank® and
are growing in it). Approachable (people in StrengthBank® are having fun so
are easy to bring to “center of the AWOGs- easy to talk to), and interested in
the other person. (People in StrengthBank® are more likely to be othercentered, looking for opportunities to confirm someone else’s StrengthBank® so that we can both “have fun.”)
Loving to sing but saying you would never go through what the American
Idol contestants go through is in essence saying you do not love to sing or
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you do not have the confidence or faith in the vision. (There is no way any of
the American Idol winning contestants could handle the pressure and criticism if they had not believed the StrengthBank® vision. Some who fail may
have just wanted to be a star and thought singing a little song was not a big
deal or were pressured into auditioning or wanted this to be their vision but
it was someone else's, not theirs.... If there is an American Idol competition
going on, many conversations about StrengthBank® could be used with it.)
A beauty pageant or sports contest might serve the same purpose. Get kids
to start listening for StrengthBank® dreams fulfilled or coercion to do something someone else deemed important. Then teach to follow the career. If
you cannot tell at first how the person handles others, celebrityship will tell
the tale. Many crumble under celebrity status or lose focus on growing a
StrengthBank® if the “win” was pursued out of other motives than StrengthBank® dream, i.e., just to be rich and famous, only thing you thought you
could do, wanted to please a parents, want power over others, etc. When
the motives are other than StrengthBank® the person can exhibit unsavory
personal behaviors. Marilyn Monroe vs Meryl Streep, Leonardo Dicaprio vs
Brad Pitt, Aretha Franklin vs Madonna, Troy Aikman vs O.J. Simpson, etc. Ask
the kids for examples.
No one can take your StrengthBank® from you... no job loss, loss of girlfriend or boy-friend, tragedy, unkind act.... nothing can take it away from you
except you. If you do not choose to keep the vision, to understand that is
where the "best" you will always be behaviorally and relationally. If you
keep it tucked away and useless, it still does not go away! Even you cannot
destroy it! It was designed in you before you were born. To grow your
StrengthBank® was why you were born; it is your mission in life. So, why not
discover it and use it for a more pleasant and productive life?!
We cannot always be in our strength in every subject in school. However,
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that we recognize we need help in some and can help someone else in another is the beginning of learning to work as a team or in community with
others. It is the beginning of learning that if we choose something to do in
this world or to earn a living, if it is something that is just for the money and
not because it is our StrengthBank®, our relationships will suffer. We will
show our worst self and repel others rather than be in a job, vocation, or volunteer activity that is fun for us. "Fun" usually means that others around us
are enjoying our company. We usually don't define fun as a time when everyone ignores us and stays away from our very presence when possible.
When we are having fun, we draw others to us.
Be ready with examples and get more from the group.
Example: Who is a real person at school that you never talk to but you have
seen them at their place of work and they are : "transformed". You almost
did not recognize them. Or someone who is quiet in school and “comes
alive” on the basketball court or as a drill team leader… What about a quiet
person who stays mostly to himself or herself and is always working at the
computer; then, you see the person as a sales rep in a computer store and
they are "Chatty Kathy or Chatty John").
Stress that it is a natural need to talk to someone. The person who never
talks to anyone is behaviorally saying there is nothing I want to talk about.
Finding something to talk about is as easy as recognizing and saying aloud
something you see in the other person that is good (come on now, there is
something). That one observation is a surefire way to open them up to a
conversation. Possibilities now emerge; each of you can relate to each
other StrengthBank® to StrengthBank®.
Example: (Feel free to use your own example.) A friend of mine in high
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school was a good student but not in the "in" crowd. Josie was poor and not
unattractive but looks and grooming were not her main focus. She was interested in computers. Now as an adult, one of the "in" crowd Mindy is in
desperate need of a friend who can help her set up a new computer. Mindy's
husband Gene had met Josie who is now a photographer like he is. Josie has
developed her photography business around use of computers to a very
high level. Gene mentioned Mindy's need to Josie and Josie offered to help.
Josie and Mindy talk as if they have known each other for ages. Well, yes
they have but in high school they did not have one word to say to each
other.
Point: StrengthBank® is not partial. Everyone has one, even the person you
think is so unlike you that you will never have anything to say to each other.
Opening those doors to each other through conversations allows for connections now and later in life that are more fun because you did know each
other in high school. Human beings like to be known from the past; we like
"roots."
Who do you know that is quiet and shy until he or she is on stage or are in
the spotlight in a ballet?
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
Who do you know that rarely puts two sentences together
Clark Kent vs Superman
A pop singer who can't give a good interview…
An Idiot Savant (extreme example)…
An actor who tries to sing and can't…
A singer who can't dance…
Moses could not speak well yet he persuaded a King...
Albert Einstein was considered mentally deficient (he was dys-
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lectic) yet he won a Nobel prize...
o
Consider that 10, 20, 30, 40 years from now by choices made today, some of
the students in front of you will have "amazed" us all.... one way or the other.
Note to adults: Perhaps, if you attended your 10 year high school reunion,
you may have some stories to share.
StrengthBank® may not be obvious from a casual observer while someone
is in high school. High schools is a very regulated, peer pressure to be like
others environment. What we want to get across is that each of them has
one and knows a direction for it that may or may not be available while in
school. Like President Reagan (or other example you have chosen earlier),
StrengthBank® had to go through some different avenues but when his was
finally revealed, we could look back and see its seeds from the very beginning. Crucial here is knowing StrengthBank® is there for every person and
being encouraged to seek relevant activities in it now may keep that
StrengthBank® vision alive to be lived out in full as an adult. It is there!
Discovery and future planning in the daily now is where we want the students to talk. That is the sole reason for talk groups. Talking about what “can
be” gives a better chance that StrengthBank® dreams will come to fruition.
Encourage the kids bring in examples for the next StrengthBank® Talk
Group In fact, as has been mentioned, start EVERY talk group by asking for an
example to “take to the WOGs. Students can then begin to see that choices
have behavioral consequences, that is, relationship consequences. We can
forgive others for being in a “GONE BAD” because we have been there, too,
and maybe it is just not that person' is not in StrengthBank®. They begin to
learn to not take other's behavior personally.
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The big thing you want to hear from the kids is that they understand that
vulnerability is a part of forgiveness. That to be on such solid personal
StrengthBank® foundation that another’s Animal does not throw you. We all
have tough stuff to deal with at times and some of it is another’s walking
daily in GONE BADLAND. However, remembering that we, too, have our
GONE BADLAND moments is the critical component most people never
learn to live. Again, that is how the songs can help! Anything we do that
keeps us out of GONE BADLAND,, for very long anyway, is a great thing.
Learning H.A.L.T is a critical step to practice and then share your experience.
You could make this the challenge for the partner teams to report on next
talk group or in the regular class as the fulfillment of an assignment. Set
them up to experiment. Every time they try something and it works, they
become better relational beings, if not this very minute, as they mature and
remember this exercise..
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48
SEX: To prevent premarital sex, HALT is most effective. Are you too lonely?
Is that why you fall for or give the ”line.” Well, I know, but this may be a perfect opportunity for them to understand the brainwork behind abstinence.
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abstention, abstinence
the trait of abstaining
(especially from
alcohol)
abstinence
act or practice of refraining from
indulging an appetite
http://www.visualthesuaurus.com
Point out the number of selfprefixes. Conclusions to lead
them to:
1. abstinence is a choice.
2. No one has a responsibility of having sex
with anyone. It is a
choice.
3. Having sex starts in
the brain and is either
controlled there or
not.
4. No way you can truthfully say you could not
help it. You made a
choice. Plain and simple. This particular choice needs to be made before the question is
asked or the situation arises. Analogy ideas:
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a. You make a choice to put on deodorant BEFORE you get
body odor if you want it to assist in smelling sweet to others.
b. You make a choice to eat food BEFORE you starve to death.
c. You choose to drink water BEFORE you can get dehydrated.
d. You make a choice to use special soaps, creams, eat the right
foods, etc. BEFORE you might have to deal with more zits.
e. You make a choice to wear clothes to school BEFORE you
walk out of the house.
f. Etc. My brain stopped here but the more ridiculous the better as along as the analogy is good. Kids will try to prove
your analogy false but in the process, they just might hear!
The sex issue is not one to shy away from but is one to think out before the
talk group. Give them a perspective they can now hear a new way. They
now know the place of the brain and feelings and actions! Yahoooooo
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You and I hear too many adults never get this idea. Stuck is too easy, gets
too much sympathy and understanding, is too easy to excuse, ends up creating too much violence that we end up rationalizing because, after all, the
individual was a victim of circumstances. If you look carefully, you will see
underneath all that blaming and crying “I am a victim of my childhood, my
broken fingernail, my mother’s father’s fifth cousin’s slander…. etc. is someone who allowed a circumstance to justify a permanently stuck-inbackwards point of view. Twins for example, really have to come to the battle ready. They come as one of another same, or “unoriginal,” or “nobody
ever truly knows who I am. Smart parents get down to the nitty gritty to encourage individuality and distinct dream difference or twins get confused.
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48
Each of us has a UNIQUE (GOOD) StrengthBank®. That alone is worth, that
alone says you are loved, that alone is a reason to move forward no matter
what! We have others in our lives that can , IF EACH ONE OF THEM chooses,
enjoy the fruits of our StrengthBank® with us. The hard part is truly under-
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standing that it is a choice based not on the value of my StrengthBank® but
on the other person’s perception and choices. Boy! If they can get a grip on
this, we are winning. There will always be people in our lives who do not
honor our StrengthBank® calling and some of them are very close to us. That
does not discount the value of each StrengthBank® calling! It just says some
don’t come to the party. Let it not be our StrengthBank® kids. They will be
the leaders far and above others when they grab hold of the stuck options –
no one has to stay there. NO ONE!
You might apply a dating metaphor here as well. There are far too many
who get stuck on someone they could not have or do and are then rejected
by in high school. Scarred for life because I got stuck on you is all too common and has been the reason for some very wrong decisions. Some high
school romances grow together but the odds are not good. StrengthBank®
based decisions whether your current “squeeze” approves or not is the better platform for life decisions. Young love can seem so overwhelming unless
there is another anchor….Enter StrengthBank®!
The goal is that the students have the StrengthBank® Tool Kit understood.
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It
is all of its parts not just one. We’ll discuss more on this later but they need
*SBP
to
be able to say that WOG represents the major pieces of the Tool Kit and
Chapter 3
that WOG J –end fit into the major framework of WOG C, that is, help come
up with the completion and constant working of WOG C. Be sure they realize that WOG C changes when there is a dramatic change in what you do
every day. We call those times major adjustments:
• From school to college (or work)
• From junior high to high school
• Changing geographic locations – more than 1000 miles away.
(However, moving 50 miles can be a big deal, too.)
• From single to married
• Etc.
SG 8
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Focus on making sure the kids understand WOG C titles above every column. We are expanding their understanding so that they will realize that
WOG C is the 1 page StrengthBank® WorkOut Grid. All the other WOGs and
AWOGs are merely to get the information to the WOG C and apply the
Treasure Hunt. If you need to expand this into two talk groups, do so.
There is a payoff for being in ones' StrengthBank®. Have the students look at
the words below the word StrengthBank® and above where they have written a list.
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When doing I have:
Courage to Risk (Ask students when doing something different is
not comfortable. With several answers you and the students will discover
that what is risky for some is not for others. That is what you want to point
out. Our risk level is tied to our innate StrengthBank®. We will risk changes
in something that is easy for us. We risk no change when we are uncomfortable with what talent or skill is at issue.
Example: One student will risk making an oral presentation for a
special project where another would never volunteer to stand up in
front of the group. One might easily risk singing a new song never
seen before in front of a group; one would not dare do that without
much practice. One might risk asking a girl out on a date where another would have to have the girl make that invitation seem very
acceptable before he would risk asking her out. One person's comfort level is not another's. Not good or bad - just is. So for a parent,
friend, teacher, etc. to tell one sibling he or she needs to do what
the older sibling has done can create problems. Our StrengthBanks
are individual and unique.)
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Unlimited Growth - (Dig into the meaning of unlimited. Ask students a definition and examples. Because the StrengthBank® is supernatural
to anything we could think of or create in ourselves, it has never ending potential. The earlier you plug in and follow its path, the more it will reveal
itself. Example: Do you usually remember to eat a meal? Of course you do
not forget to eat. That is never-ending until you are dying. That desire
comes with you and is not limited. As long as you are alive you will have the
desire to and need to eat.
As long as you are on this earth, you will have the desire to enjoy what you
do and the desire to know more about yourself and the world around you in
reference to it. Unlimited.
Be sure the students understand we are talking about growth as a relational
person here, not physical growth. As them what personal growth means to
them.
To summarize the discussion, be sure they understand that StrengthBank®
is the surest, positive direction for their personal growth and will be as long
as they are on this earth.
Remind them that everyone also has the choice of accepting his or her
StrengthBank® and experiencing personal growth. What would that be like?
Ask them. Ask them if they know anyone in their life that is just "existing"
with no purpose, no joy, no goals…. just breathing and doing what he or she
is forced to do? Interesting discussion should come about.
Anyone without a purpose brings us down. If you encounter someone without a purpose, try to let him or her know you see potential. If they will not
accept that they have a StrengthBank® potential, an inborn, given way to
experience a purpose for living, move on or that person could bring you
down with them.
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Example Demonstration: A common but great illustration of this is
to have a student stand on a chair. Take the student's hand and gently help them down. Easy. Then ask the student to stand on the chair
again. This time ask the student to stay standing on the chair and try
to life you or another student up on the chair. Impossible.
Point: It is easier to bring someone down than to lift them up.
If someone is unwilling to see his or her StrengthBank®, his or her way to
contribute to this world and enjoy the process, walk away. You will likely
not be able to lift that person up but that person can surely bring you down.
Caution: Be sure the understanding is that first we try to help them see each
StrengthBank®. We do not want to walk away from someone because he or
she is unaware of a better way of seeing themselves. First, reach out and try
to help that person see his or her StrengthBank® potential. A statement,
“Hey, you are really good at getting our attention,” is better “Hey, loser, get
outta my face.” At the same time, this example starts getting at the wisdom
of choosing to be around people who will support and confirm your
StrengthBank® because you are able to support and confirm theirs…mutual
personal growth. (This can extend to future mates, co-workers, etc.)
Get m any ideas - When you are engaged in something and really
enjoying it, notice that you have many ideas. In fact, when you are having a
good time, you do not have trouble talking to the people around you. Enjoying what you are doing is a brain stimulant. Doing something that is easy for
you, that you enjoy actually clears your head for ideas.
Example: Take a favorite exercise. I love to swim. It is part of my physical
StrengthBank®. My body design swims well. It does not jog well. So, I swim
for exercise. When I have had an intense day, I go to the gym and get in the
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pool to swim laps. Some of my greatest ideas come as I swim. I am engaged
in something that I love to do and it literally frees my mind.
Example: I have always loved to read and read several different things at the
same time. I find that when I read several different things rather than finishing one before starting the other gives me ideas and connections that I
would never have thought of if I had read the books, magazines, research
articles, etc. one at a time. That fits my StrengthBank® - I have been a professional speaker who is called upon to be well versed in many areas at once
and able to respond with detail to many different situations "in the moment."
Use your own examples here then solicit them from kids. We all know what
we are doing when we are able to get ideas. I never get good ideas when I
am struggling to do my checkbook. It takes all my concentration to think in
numbers. However, a mathematician would find working with numbers relaxing and probably when he or she gets many new ideas.
Creative - The ideas you get when doing something that is interesting, that gets your attention, and that is fun to think about, unleashes
creativity that allows you to change the way you are doing something. Or, it
changes the way you perceive something.
Example: A young man was walking in empty fields with his dog. The weeds
and grass were about a foot high and dry. He loved to walk and think. His
had an engineer's training and a mind that looked for detail and answers to
how things work. He observed after his walk that burr's were clinging to his
socks and to his dog's fur. As he patiently extracted the burrs, he began to
look closely and realize that the burrs stuck with a series of hooks that
grabbed loops in clothing or hair. He just kept that in his mind and later the
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idea came to him for what is now Velcro. If you will look at Velcro tape, it
works by having one side hooks and one side loops. Borrowed from nature
by a man whose StrengthBank® was engineering so he trained in that area-a
man who loved nature and looked with greater creativity to how nature
worked than someone without that StrengthBank®.
Documentation: George de MestralHe found the logistics of attaching hundreds of tiny hooks to cloth tape to be a challenge, but eventually his hook
and loop fastener was manufactured as VELCRO®, derived from the French
words velour (velvet) and crochet (hooks). Although most hook and loop
tapes are nylon-based, there are also varieties made from plastic, stainless
steel, and silver-impregnated substances for electrical applications.
Invention Impact
VELCRO® fasteners have provided society with a practical and effective tool.
Touch fasteners are used in clothing, aircraft, office equipment, and sporting
and leisure equipment. They are also used in the automotive and medical
industries, nuclear engineering, and NASA’s space program.
Inventor Bio
De Mestral -Born Jun 19 1907 - Died Feb 8 1990 - from a small village near
Lausanne, Switzerland. By working odd jobs, he paid his way through the
Ecole Polytechnique Federale de Lausanne, where he graduated as an electrical engineer. He began his own company to manufacture VELCRO® fasteners, and later sold it and all patent rights. Today, the Velcro companies
continue to manufacture touch fasteners and other products.
Perseverance - The ideas and creativity may or may not lead to
the goal you are seeing immediately. There will be struggles to overcome.
For example, getting through high school with the necessary composite of
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skills developed from your talents along with the necessary socialization is
the immediate goal. Struggles may include:
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
Homework completed
 Passing tests
Getting to school on time regularly
Following the rules of behavior
Understanding what is being taught
Making friends and keeping them
Making after high school decisions that work best
Deciding what role you will play as you get to know the opposite
gender
Feeling confident around your peers
Being well-liked
Being treated well by teachers and principals
Getting along well at home with family and neighbors
Working at a part-time job
Getting a good recommendation from those you work for and with
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
(Have students enumerate…. It is interesting to see what they see as struggles. Remember this for the Path Expander SiX - Perception.)
Understanding your struggles in light of your StrengthBank® leads to being
able to persevere. If you do not know your have a purpose and that it is bigger than this moment or struggle and that it is dependent on how you handle the struggle before you, you may not persevere. That is, you might be
tempted to just let the world roll by or roll over you. Dissatisfaction sets in
for those who do not persevere and lives can become dull and meaningless.
Example: What if Christopher Columbus had decided that it was just too
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much hassle to pursue his StrengthBank® (Dream of finding what became
known as America and evangelizing the natives.)? Instead of giving in, he
kept promoting his idea that he could open the trade routes to Asia… beyond Spain. He kept talking about it until he got the ear of the Queen
Isabella of Spain. She could see his vision and supported it.
Now here is a man who had a dream, ventured out where no one had ever
gone before, not knowing what he would find, not knowing accurately what
he found when he found it but returned home, ventured out again and
found the same continent again. That is a step of faith; he believed his
StrengthBank® vision. Great lesson for us!
Columbus Background: He also had some tragedies (struggles) along the
way. Lack of funds and loss of spouse. Christopher Columbus. Born in Genoa,
Italy, in 1451 to a weaver, young Columbus first went to sea at the age of
fourteen. As a young man, he settled in Portugal and married a woman of
noble background. After his wife's death in 1485, Columbus and his young
son, Diego moved to Spain. Like all learned men of his time, Columbus knew
the world was round. He theorized that since the earth was a sphere, a ship
could eventually reach the Far East from the opposite direction. He thought
to establish trade routes to Asia in this manner. The fifteenth-century Europeans were not aware of the South and North American continents during
this timeframe. Mapmakers did not show an accurate picture and no one
knew there was a Pacific Ocean. For a decade, Columbus approached the
Portuguese king and the Spanish monarchs to obtain a grant to explore possible trade routes to the west. After initially turning him down, King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella reconsidered once the Moors had been successfully expelled from Spain in 1492. Columbus promised to bring back gold,
spices, and silks from the Far East, to spread Christianity, and to lead an expedition to China. In return, Columbus asked for and got the hereditary title
"admiral of the ocean seas" and became governor of all discovered lands. He
also had some tragedies (struggles) along the way-lack of funds and loss of
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spouse.
Energy, Drive, Passion-This the most telling payoff for being in
your StrengthBank®. You are engaged! You do not get tired of doing what
you love. You are not easily distracted. Time flies; using this talent for you is
effortless…. could go on forever. In fact, your passion for it sometimes gets
you in trouble because Mom or Dad or Teacher wants you to do something
else.
Ask the kids:
o Think about subjects at school. Which ones are easier than others?
o Do you agree that in the ones that are not your favorites, that are
hard for you the time drags? It is the same amount of time for each
but it seems like math class is longer, English class is longer, or physical education lasts forever.
o Let students answer your questions here. Let them see they already
have hints during the school day for what is each one's StrengthBank®.
o Then ask each to look at his or her StrengthBank® list. Start getting
them to draw parallels
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StrengthBank® Likes List • Subjects/Activities Each Likes at School
talks a lot
Speech drama, debate…
fishing
math, Computer Science, Band, Choir, music theory,
medicine, …
doodle in dirt
geology, arts, computer graphics….
running
athletics, band, health, medicine, gymnastics…
making dugouts,
business management, marketing, pilot…
playing war
only liked outdoor science, physical education, geology
activities
write plays then
speech, drama, debate, English…
act them out
playing “office”
business education, English, marketing…
read
English, reading, history, music…
help friends with
psychology, sociology, English, cheerleading, stuproblems
dent government…
girl scouts/boy
Student government, science, math… English,
scouts
speech, debate
What we do not want to do is say the StrengthBank® list changed! The talent
or skill may be talked about in more sophisticated, targeted, or current activity line-up but the basic talent is the same now as it will be when each
reaches age 80.
One more quick example: Ask student to think about what begins to
happen 30 minutes before school is out each day?
Restless
Want to get out early
Can't concentrate as it gets closer to the bell
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Start getting all kinds of energy because right after school is band
practice
Start getting all kinds of energy because now I can…
At the end of the day, how many kids “come alive” who have “plodded”
through the school day as if in torture and totally de-energized.
When what you are doing after school is more engaging than what you
have in any academic subject, pay attention. You are telling yourself something. If you do not have some value to the educational day, you are saying
your are already losing StrengthBank® ground. Something about the school
day hits your StrengthBank®. Something even if it is the process of socializing at lunch.
No one is without a StrengthBank®. No one. Since a high school day has so
many facets all rolled into a few hours, something is there to teach the individual, to grow the individual as a person, and to give each a glimpse of your
future based on what he or she has always seen in your head as the vision…
the dream of each one's life's purpose. If some students struggle with finding the vision, be patient. Ask them more questions. No one is born without
a StrengthBank®. No one.
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The Treasure Hunting Trot ties everything together and gives the students Project Idea:
another great chance for specific application to their lives. Let them work
Research a famous
SG 9
SS
69-74
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with the same partner, perhaps, for these two talk groups or maybe let them historical or curchoose a partner instead of random assignment this once.
rent day hero related to this trot.
We are confirming our StrengthBank® but looking at our frequent “GONE Everyone who contributes has
BADs” vs “GONE GOODs.” We must learn to look at our frequent, “not so
great” behavior to figure out where it is coming from and how to get back to learned a version of
this trot. By heroes
StrengthBank®.
make it clear we
Have the students look at the “GONE BADs” Style Survey. As the kids look at are talking about
people whose legthese lists you will hear laughter at themselves and some defensive “Yea, I
acy added somedo that but it is because....” What we want to get to here is taking responsibility for behavior. It is not a personal attack to say we notice you are sarcas- thing positive to
the world. For
tic; it is something that says you have alot of Chimpanzee but maybe it is
example, Hitler or
not being used in your StrengthBank® right now. Use positive behavior
Osama Bin Laden
modification. As you go back to the workout grid, go through the steps of
would be off limits.
finding more depth about your StrengthBank® from recognizing and accepting that you do have weaknesses and you do have wrong side outs. De- We are looking for
example of salt and
nial merely stifles growth in StrengthBank® and limits relationship powe.
light not bitterness
and darkness.
When things are working well, relationships are not a problem, the
StrengthBank® WorkOut is happening positively. However, when frustration, anger, hate begin to rise and conflict may be pending, that is the time
to go to the grid and workout what is happening. Once you see what is happening, a person has the option of making a change for himself/herself that
will affect the situation positively or one can always make it worse…but that
is not the goal. Hopefully, the students will want to make the situation better.
Probably bears talking about negative manipulation. Negative manipulation occurs when one uses the workout grid for evil purposes: Purposely
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“work” the grid so that the other person has a hard time staying in StrengthBank® “GONE GOOD” behaviors. No need to go into extreme detail here.
Our intent is not to teach them how to manipulate people for selfish purposes, to give them ideas we do not want foremost in their minds. Funny
thing, you never have to teach the bad behaviors….When a situation is not
comfortable at any level for you
 Step One : (Point to this on the grid and note that it is not furthest to
the left as you would expect number 1 to be. Get their attention and
keep it as you go step by step. Do this together as a group. Do not continue until everyone has taken each step.)
Look at the behavior in you that says whatever is going on is uncomfortable
for you. It will be one of the behaviors on the “Gone BAD” list and probably
in your #1 or #2 preference…at some level…or another that you have
added like:
• Can’t stay awake (St. Bernard); won’t look at anyone
• Keeps fidgeting (Mustang); picking nose rapidly
• Talks to himself or herself and is disturbing others
(
); keeps laughing aloud in weird laughter
Chimpanzee
• Takes too much time making notes perfect (Owl); repeatedly rewrites and erases with sounds of pounding and brushing off erasure
becoming annoying
 Write whatever you are going to call the uncomfortable behavior in the
“WrongSide Outs/GONE BAD” column under workout step1.
 Note to them: If that behavior continues, we have learned we will be
pushing people away from us. Others will not want to be drawn to us if
this is the behavior we have frequently.
 Take a moment to think and observe. What are you doing when this annoying behavior happens most often. For instance, this never happens
when you are_________________________________(have them
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look at starred item in StrengthBank® column.) Obviously, the talent
you are using here is not your “fun” part.
 Step Two : Write in the #2 in weakness column what is it each is doing
when this annoying behavior frequently comes up.
 Note that our next discovery step is to think about what behavior is the
opposite, the one we would prefer, the one that would get better feedback from others. The opposite of the #1 step is _______________ .
 Step Three : write whatever fills the previous blank under the #3
which falls in the “GONE GOOD behavior” column. (This may take some
time and prompting.) Wait!
 Now, to discover the StrengthBank® item that would bring forth this
preferred behavior in this child. This may take them some time. In fact,
they may need to think about it until next talk group if that is appropriate to the amount of time you have left this session. They need to look
back over their life and remember activities that brought positive behaviors like each wrote as Step Three. Those are StrengthBank® talents
used in an activity. There can be more than one. Give them your example from faculty training or from what you have discovered since then.
The reason this may take some time is that the student may not have this
positive feedback in memory. It may come down to helping them form
what activity they would be doing that would anticipate the preferred
behavior or feedback each wrote in #3. Help them put this together by
looking at what they have listed as “likes” in the StrengthBank® column.
This is a powerful truth they can use over and over if they once learn to
use it.
 Step Four : Write the StrengthBank® activity that has in the past
brought the preferred feedback/behavior.
Do not worry if you need to spend more time here than you thought. As the
students bring in situations to “work out”, you will have an opportunity to rein-
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force this over and over. Once this tool becomes a part of the thinking process,
they will always have a way to figure out why something is not working for
them. Wow!
Great examples to use with them could be yours, another faculty member
who is willing to come in and tell how they learned this Trot or a community
member, or a fellow student who has been particularly beset with tough
circumstances. As time goes on, you want to encourage these kids to come
back and share with the next group. Maybe they are all familiar with a student or local hero who used the idea and found their good will treasure in
the midst of disaster. Let them dig in and learn this dance. They may amaze
you and themselves as well if you are able to get them down to “where they
live” today!
Use Interviews: As students to go back to interview questions that looked at
different options and what sacrifice would have been worth it. Can they see
that some of the interviewed people know the Trot and some did not?
StrengthBank Match –up then Jolt!
When they are finished asked them what they discovered. Go with it. Some
will have found out they had 10’s on many items but they are not the ones
they are using most right now. Some will find that they have few 10’s
….meaning no talent they are using just now is a StrengthBank® talent….(not good, my guess is a list like this means something is going on in
that student’s life that bears one on one discussion. He or she is other focused. I say that because I remember when my brother and sister-in-law got
a divorce, my nephew sat through Sophomore English and the study of A
Separate Peace oblivious to it or any other things going on. What turned
him around and got him engaged again was working with him until he
talked about it. Talk groups are for kids to talk about it…in the group and
sometimes one on one with you or a mentor. We do not want one child
without the knowledge of StrengthBank® - it can be what makes the differ-
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ence in a life that is useful or not useful.)
What the num ber means… Right now, that is how closely what each
does every day to what each one gets energy from doing. We want to monitor that number as each semester changes. Though the StrengthBank® list
should not change significantly, the daily activities list will depending upon
the subjects studies, phase of extra curricular activities, etc. This can be a
great eye opener as students realize that what they do on a regular basis
does affect how much they are using of each StrengthBank®. Remember,
the goal is that after high school, each student will make better choices
about vocation and lifestyle based on knowing themselves well. This match
up is a precursor to good career and life choices.
Give them some examples about how to interpret the items, look at the
skill or talent the StrengthBank® item requires more than the activity itself.
For example, you would not match "making mud pies" to making mud pies
on their today list. You would look for today's activities to see if the starred
item that is most frequent includes the same talents and skills as making
mud pies:
liking to have hands in the mud (or something with same
consistency)
getting a liquid mass to the right consistency to shape things
molding shapes with fingers
enjoying the smell of earth
being creative with shapes
using concentration and great powers of imagination
doing something alone for others' satisfaction
being able to replicate life or a concept in solid form
Let them know that his number is the one we will watch for changes. As
what you do changes, the amount of "fun" changes. Be sure not to say what
they should like or should call fun. Remember, you are guiding them to
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each one’s StrengthBank® not a clone of you, someone you know, or what
you think is best.
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*SBP
Chapter 4
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SSBBTTG
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This talk group is to make sure the Trot is understood and talk about how it
is the road to good judgment, not blaming and feeling unworthy or victimized. The Trot is the WorkOut that needs to be well understood. It is the
process at the heart of the entire WOG C. All the concepts and principles
are to let them truly know how to listen from the inside out… the survival
tool of utmost importance. The perception discussion coming up can reference this again.
Here is a great opportunity to get the kids journaling, hopefully, as a lifetime habit. There is nothing more encouraging when times are tough than
to go back and read how far you have come… and that there were other
times things were tough, too.
See PE Perception in addition to SG 11 and *SBP
Being the Daily WorkOut Steps discussion. Make sure you have time to role
play the first three with them Give them ideas about how to really keep this
process working for them. Have them look at WOG O and make a commitment to start.
What we want to dig into here is the seen and unseen concept on a much
more individual level, that is the kids can begin to realize that their behaviors are the “writing on the wall” that tells us their inner perception. A startling thing they might want to think about is that they are not the only ones
who have this relationship information. They never could hide their hearts
for long anyway, but now, they need to begin to realize that over time, we
all wear our inner most thoughts as outward behaviors.
SG 9
SS
77
SG 10
SS
77-81
SF V
SS
82-83;
85-87
SS
84
Example: Why do you label someone jovial? Moody? Fun to be with? Super
Smart?
The kids responses might be and probably will be appearance, the way the
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person _______________________; what they see the person do, etc.
They should note that their perception is working. How much is based on
fact? Is the jovial person always smiling? Is the moody person happy one day
and who knows the next
Make the point that over time we know if someone is really wanting to connect or is manipulating us to get something, have someone to tell all their
troubles to but never want to listen, etc.
Yes, behaviors come from thinking…they do not magically happen. However, as we watch you, we begin to see a pattern that tells us the motives of
your heart. In other words, how you choose to think is eventually known as
how we think of you from what those motives have led you to do, say,
choose. You cannot hide your inner motives; we can read you like a book in
a very short time.
It is important what you choose to put in your brain because it comes out as
a behavior toward me. What music do you listen to? Kind of movies you see?
Regular television you watch? Board games you like to play? Things you read
up on and stay current on?
Yes you are what you think. That old adage has merit. A speaker once said
that he heard that at age 16. Do I need to say what 16-year-old boys have on
their minds about every 7 minutes? Well, he became quite concerned
about what he would become. Funny, but the ideas hear is to get the kids to
control what their mind feeds on and eventually acts out… You are on display whether you like it or not.
After you go through Steps 1-3 WOG O, get commitment from the kids.
Perhaps commit to their partner this week that before the next talk group
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they will have read their StrengthBank® list every morning. That’s a start in
the good thinking direction! The debrief can be did anyone notice anything
changed even slightly (only for those who actually did it.) There will be
things they have noticed if they did and if they have made a stalwart effort
to get their StrengthBank® List as complete as they possibly can.
What you talk about is who you are to us! Your conversations are as telling
as your physical behaviors. Think about what kinds of things you would or
would not tell your best friend vs. a classmate? Your parents vs your grandparents? Your teachers vs your boss? A stranger vs someone who knows the
same people you know? What you consistently have on your mind comes
out of your mouth related to any of the above. It may not be just in words
but in the way you say the words as well.
Motives of your heart are what we see of you no matter how you try to hide
them when they are GONE BAD particularly.
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Finish up Step 4 and Step 5 for the Daily Steps.
http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/hold-on.php This is an inspiring
movie clip that would be great to show the kids as we wind up and getting
ready to send them on, There are other movie clips at this site, too, and they
are free. Hold on is one I felt most germane to StrengthBank® relationship
skills.
Ask them what is meant by Receiving, Recognizing, Relying?
Ask what the last page means about whether the StrengthBank® job is
done?
Wrap up and survey. See SG 12 and 13
SS 8889
SG11
SS 91
Letter
SBP ChapSG 12
ter 5
Post
Survey
*Evaluation & Project Ideas are noted throughout the talk group discussions. Although they may be noted by one particular talk group, they
can easily be used in many of the talk groups.
SSBBTTG
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LESSON PLANTG - StrengthBank® Talk Groups

Transcription

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