Vol. CXXVII No. 19 March 8, 2014 MasterMINd IN Harrow oXeNHaM

THE HARROVIAN
March 8, 2014
Vol. CXXVII No. 19
MasterMind in Harrow
27 February
Last Thursday the School hosted a quiz in the Butler Centre
to raise money for the local mental health charity, Mind in
Harrow. There were visiting teams from Hatch End High, Sacred
Heart Language College, John Lyon, Bentley Wood and North
London Collegiate competed against boys from Harrow, with
each school entering three teams into the competition. Teams
were made up of four Year 9 (Shell) pupils who faced quick-fire
University Challenge style questions across a range of topics.
The Question Master was our own JEP, ably assisted by a strong
team of boy volunteers who acted as runners, scorers, caterers
(and even first aiders), together with JPBH who looked after
the electronic buzzer and LAM as general factotum. Alessio
Kenda, Newlands, Ravi Kohli, The Grove, Abid Rahman, The
Grove, and Hari Rattan, The Knoll, were the winners of the
Fifth Form Greek
vicit: Thomas Moy (The Grove)
proxime accesserunt: Henry Elsom (The Knoll), Henry Brounger
(The Grove), Patrick Caffrey (The Head Master’s)
Fifth Form Latin
vicit: Thomas Moy (The Grove)
proxime accesserunt: Tristan Stevenson (The Park), Manuel
Iribarren (West Acre)
Junior Greek
vicit: Krishan Emmanuel (Rendalls)
proxime accesserunt: Dita Jaja (Moretons), Akhil Seth
(Lyon’s)
Remove Latin
vicit: Lucas Marsden-Smedley (The Park)
proxime accesserunt: James Millet (Newlands), Henry Adeson
(Rendalls)
Shell Latin
vicerunt: Dita Jaja (Moretons), Gregory Zenin (The Knoll)
proxime accessit: Benjamin Menell (West Acre)
Superbrass
27 February
competition over all and were presented with a fine trophy.
Every team which entered pledged at least £400, and particular
mention needs to go to the girls from North London Collegiate
who won the prize for raising the largest amount of money:
over £1,300. So far, over £6,300 has been raised for Mind in
Harrow, with more money still to come.
Oxenham Latin & Greek
Reading Competition
27 February
Adjudicator: Mr John Davie, Lecturer in Classics, Trinity
College, Oxford
Senior Greek
vicerunt: Ed McBarnet (Bradbys), Hugo Bromley (The Head
Master’s)
proxime accessit: Taro Konishi-Dukes (Elmfield)
Sixth Form Latin
vicit: George Ellis (Druries)
proxime accesserunt: Taro Konishi-Dukes (Elmfield), Ed
McBarnet (Bradbys), Danny Rafique (Druries)
Sixth Form Latin
vicit: Rupert Stonehill (Elmfield)
proxime accesserunt: Pietro Lisciandrano (St.Dominic’s), Tom
Neville (Elmfield)
This will probably end up being a panegyric, an ode to one
of the greatest ensembles this humble brass player has ever
experienced, and to one of the greatest concerts to have graced
the Speech Room. This is not hyperbole, or exaggerated tabloid
journalism to make front page news. This is an honest and
truthful account (albeit a rather biased one) of what has been
universally agreed from all those who attended of a truly amazing
and inspiring evening that occurred on Thursday.
Superbrass are a brass dectet (and small percussion section)
consisting of the best brass players in the country, including
the principals of renowned orchestras such as the London
Symphony Orchestra, Royal Philharmonic Orchestra and the
John Wilson orchestra, playing a broad mix of their own music
and established pieces throughout all the genres. The afternoon
started with an assembly of Harrow’s own brass players, and
other brass players of all ages and standards from the surrounding
Harrow community, including the John Lyon School, Orley
Farm and the Harrow Service Youth Band, gathering to rehearse
two pieces to bookend the first half of the concert, members
of Guildhall’s Bold as Brass ensemble and Superbrass dotted
around the overflowing stage. It was wonderful to see so many
brass players on stage. The inspiration and admiration roused
during this master class is indicative of the standard the ensemble
played throughout the concert.
The concert in the evening commenced with the collective
brass group playing Intrada 1631 by Montague, an arresting
and suspenseful chordal piece that grew in energy and gravitas,
making an effective start to the concert. Following this the
Guildhall’s Bold as Brass ensemble played two pieces, Leviathan
by Denegri and Sunny by Eacott. Leviathan was a dark and
powerful piece, capturing the looming threat of the sea monster,
whilst Sunny was a light-hearted jazz piece played with a good
sense of fun and some highly-skilled solos. The ensemble was
tight, well-rehearsed and of an incredible standard, and the
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audience greatly appreciated this amazing little set.
It was therefore with some trepidation that Harrow School’s
own Brass Ensemble (which they fondly like to call “Palmer’s
Pals” in honour of their great bandmaster) made their way to
the stage, in awe of Bold as Brass and fully aware that it was
a tough act to follow. However their performance of Kraken
by Hazel was the best they’d ever played it, and this cheeky,
jazzy and solid performance was well appreciated by the
audience, but more importantly to the band, highly commended
by Superbrass, a testament to how the inspiration that these
great brass players caused can raise the standards of playing. A
trombone choir followed, playing Bess, You is my Woman Now
by Gershwin, where a lilting and professional trombone solo
was masterfully backed up by a full complement of trombones
lining the choir stalls.
Superbrass then took to the stage to play a version of SaintSaens’ famous Organ Symphony Finale, composed for organ
and brass dectet, and DNW proved that he can play with the
best of them in a masterful performance on the organ. Anyone
who knows this piece will be familiar with its rousing chords,
powerful phrases and lilting melodies, and to hear it played by
a brass dectet, the piccolo trumpet a particular astonishment,
was truly astounding.
Closing the first half was once more the combined Harrow
area brass ensemble, playing Pines of the Appian Way from Pines
of Rome (Respighi). The slow, quiet start fluently flowed into
a rousing, powerful and brilliant end, the full might of brass
group resonating in wonderful harmony throughout the lofty
dome of Speech Room. It was a fantastic closing to the first
half, and all who were involved in the master class and who
played on the stage enjoyed a truly amazing experience.
In the second half, however, Superbrass continued to perform
with such panache that this wasn’t so much a concert as a gig.
Throughout the entire set they played with such volume that
eardrums began to vibrate, and this celestial body of Britain’s
best brass players weaved, trilled, marched and danced in perfect,
resounding harmony. The band were clearly having fun doing
so, showing an infectious love and joy of playing.
Superbrass started with the Fanfare from Festmusik de Stadt
Wien by Strauss, performing this rousing piece in a rank along
the choir stalls, with some select boys from the Harrow Brass
Group joining them. As one of the lucky few selected, it was
a spine-tingling moment to perform such a triumphal and rich
piece with such talented musicians. Superbrass then played
an energetic, snazzy and vibrant Spanish piece called El Gato
Montes by Penell, creating a fun, lively Spanish fiesta atmosphere
with impromptu Mexican waves, yells, and rhythmic castanets
clicking along. Homenaje a Don Luis de Vicotria by De Victoria
followed, as the band split into two competing bands of five,
one band playing the slow, haunting and unnerving passages
that started the piece from a blaring, chaotic chord. Another
Spanish number, Donde el Mar Saluda al Cielo (“Where the sea
greets the sun”) by Bassey succeeded this, as trombonist Andy
Wood wowed the audience with his first solo performance of
the night. The flowing, pensive start floated over the careful
backing instruments, before merging into a slow, jazzy and
smooth number. He soon racked up the tempo into a fun, lively
and impressive performance. The other instruments were clearly
enjoying themselves as Andy Wood gave a demonstration of
just how brilliant a trombone can sound.
Dulcinea by Powell then gave Andy Wood another chance
to show off, this time with a baritone solo. A majestic, exotic
and stately start soon made way for a fiery and active number,
charting the rapid and thrilling journey Don Quixote makes to
see the beautiful woman that the title takes its name from. A
wonderfully kooky, distinctive and sassy sound then emerged
from the quiet, chordal beginning of Fugatango by Waterman
with a muted plunger trombone solo completely ripped up
this entertaining piece. After the band had taken a quick rest
to recover and introduce the players to the audience, Sanz’s
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Los Canarios followed. This lively, jumpy and rhythmic piece
had the audience clapping their hands as they were transported
by the exciting music to a festival or party like atmosphere.
Rounding off Superbrass’s fantastic set was Enormous Pink
Jellyfish by Bassey, whose name alone inspires complete faith
in their sheer brilliance. It was a fantastic ending; a big, bold
and bouncy piece.
After the applause had died down, Superbrass gave one, final,
encore piece. They chose to play Malaguena (Lecuona arr.
Malcolm), a big-band jazz eruption fuelled by loud, exciting
runs, chords and a racing tempo. To cap off a truly amazing
and inspiring evening, they invited Harrow’s Brass Ensemble
to join them. It was, for many of us, a highlight of the night,
an astonishingly motivating moment that brought out the best
in all of us, and from my own personal experience, playing
Trumpet 1 alongside arguably the best trumpeter in Britain, it
was a moment I’m not sure can ever be topped.
This concert has to be one of the highlights of the musical year
at Harrow, and the audience left, hands sore from clapping so
hard and cheeks aching from irrepressible smiles, with a profound
sense of joy and wonder at what they had just experienced.
Thanks must go to DNW and the entire music department for
organising such a brilliantly inspiring evening.
Rattigan Society
Ghost Stories, 25 February
Last week, SLM and ELW escorted a daring group of Sixth
Formers on the first Rattigan Society trip of the year to see
Ghost Stories at The Arts Theatre in London. From the very
moment you enter the theatre, specially decorated with ghost
lamps, hazard tape and ill-omened numbers chalked into the
walls, the ominous mood is set for the rest of the evening.
Indeed the atmosphere was so menacing that when the first actor
entered from the rear of the auditorium ELW couldn’t help but
utter the first shriek (of many) of the evening. To give a brief
outline of the plot, Professor Goodman (Paul Kemp) begins
the play under the guise of a lecturer, who proceeds to ask the
audience “Why are you here? You’re here to play a game with
your fear.” This seemed a very potent point; along with most
of the boys present, I had little idea what the plot was beyond
the fact that SLM had assured us it was very scary. There is
little enjoyment to be taken from being frightened; instead we
were there to see how far we could push ourselves, our minds,
before we would give in and retreat behind a jacket, or indeed
anything else at hand – a slightly perverse thought. Strangely,
Goodman then went on to deny that ghosts can or do exist. This
was the first in a long series of physiological twists planted
in the script by writers Andy Nyman and Jeremy Dyson, who
expertly use the techniques of suspense and release to place
the audience into their own unstable mental state. The main
body of the play was based on Goodman’s interviews with
three separate ‘percipients’ (persons who believe they have
undergone a paranormal experience) as they tell their stories:
Tony Mathew, a night guard (Philip Whitchurch), Simon Rifkind
(Chris Levens), a teenager driving home from a part and Mike
Priddle (Gary Shelford), a businessman awaiting the birth of
his child. Each of these stories produces its own, very different,
but very frightening twists; however I shall try my best not to
ignore the programmes request to “keep the secrets of Ghost
Stories,” and will avoid revealing any spoilers. This play was
a master class in all the skills essential to a great psychological
production: perfect timing, slow building suspense, and a theatre
experience that evoked every sense. Despite a few subtle slips,
and some slightly drunken audience members, this was a very
entertaining production – one to watch for those who are looking
for a break from Easter revision. Our thanks go to SLM for
organising this trip and ELW for accompanying the boys.
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Slavonic Society
The History of the Russian Liberal Opposition
Vasiliy Romanovskiy, Rendalls
24 February
On Monday the Slavonic Society Vasiliy Romanovsky, Rendalls,
addressed on the topic of the history of the Russian liberal
opposition. Under the Tsars the country was generally very
autocratic – indeed the short list of historical examples of
enlightened despots produced by Vasiliy is the exception that
proved the rule – that Russia was a highly autocratic society.
In some ways Russia lurched down the meandering path of
early secularism; the Zemsky Sobor, her first Parliament,
similar in composition to the états-généraux, took giant leaps
towards reducing the power of the Church. Indeed under the
rule of Ivan III (1462-1505) the Russian state expanded vastly,
throwing of the yoke of the Golden Horde. The monarch also
liberalised the political culture of the country. His work with
the Zemsky Sobor resulted in the incorporation of more of
the third estate into the political decision making process.
The outcome was the Sudebnik of 1497 which resulted in the
political centralisation of the country at the cost of the feudal
boyars. The code of nationwide laws also instituted the feast of
Yuri’s Den (the feast of St George) celebrated by the Russian
Orthodox Church. After the rule of Vasily III, Ivan the Terrible
created a stronger and more authoritarian Russia. He instituted the
Oprichnina, which saw mass killings and deportations, as well as
the weakening of the Boyars. He fought countless wars on every
front but expanded the kingdom enormously and transformed it
into a modern empire. He beat back the opposition and set the
historical tone for what has usually been Russia’s usual method
for dealing with political opposition: repression. Later, under
Nicholas I, the slogan put forward by the education minister
Sergey Uvarov redefined the totalitarian nature of the Tsars:
“Orthodoxy, Autocracy, and Nationality”. Vasiliy assaulted these
tenets before bringing in examples of how weak and unstable
regimes such as Putin’s are – emphasising how their ideologies
are defunct. However, for the opposition to succeed, it must
first unite around common ideas, motivated by principle and
not realpolitik. This would perhaps shock Putin, a man used
to viewing the world through the narrow lens of realpolitik.
Having said this, the Russian opposition, like that of Ukraine,
is hardly composed of saints. The question is whether their
failure to dislodge Putin from power after 15 years shows how
strong he is, how weak they are, or that not all countries would
work best as liberal democracies?
Biology Society
25 February
On Tuesday the Biology Society held a debate on ‘Genetic
Modification’ in the Old Music Schools. The proposition
kicked off the debate with an outline of the benefits of genetic
modification and experimentation in general. Much detail was
presented on the minutiae of specific beneficial examples. The
opposition followed with a counter-argument revolving around
the application of genetic modification in warfare and the possible
dangers that arise from this. Again, specific examples such as the
Soviet Anthrax incident provided compelling evidence against
the use of genetic modification. Next, the proposition moved onto
the human advantages of genetic modification in agriculture. It
seemed to be the case that there could be no viable option other
than using genetic modification to alleviate human suffering.
However, the opposition countered the apparent successes in
meeting food demands by using several different examples of
biotechnology going awry. The introduction of this touched
upon the political/economic motives behind mass-marketing
schemes and provided much room for contemplation on the
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ethical side. The debate was concluded with an exploration of the
medical advances made using aforementioned techniques. Issues
that stemmed from this area of biology proved to encompass
biological, political, and even social aspects. There were, for
example, ideas about social equality and morals being brought
up some time later in the discussion.
After the discussion to iron out any remaining points, the
chair summed up the debate commenting that it was surprising
that everybody saw it fit to take an evidence-based argument.
No one decided to object based on qualitative or ideological
feeling. In essence, it was established that genetic modification
has its advantages. These undeniable advantages, however, are
also mired in biological and ethical consequences. As a result, it
seemed to be the case that more research has to be done before
anyone can establish the truth behind genetic modification
and perhaps come to a conclusion on its viability in society
today. Needless to say, this is not straightforward given the
economic stigma attached to industries that take advantage of
this biotechnology.
Alexander Society
Colonel Ken Peacock, OBE
27 February
Last Thursday, the Alexander Society had the honour of being
addressed by Colonel Ken Peacock OBE for a talk on the
Aden Emergency from 1964-67. Often regarded as Britain’s
last colonial war, Aden in many ways marked a crucial turning
point in our post-war history. Colonel Peacock drew on his
considerable store of knowledge accumulated during his time
in the Army to explain the unique challenges faced by British
soldiers during three years of campaigning in the inhospitable
terrain of Southern Arabia. As his first overseas tour of duty,
Aden had clearly left a strong impression on the Colonel,
who had actually brought along a collection of memorabilia
for this talk.
A large audience of boys from all year groups soon found
themselves drawn into a brief history of Britain’s involvement
in the region leading up the Emergency itself. As was often
the case in the 19th century, Aden had been acquired largely
because of its strategic value on the sea-route to India. In the
aftermath of World War II though, the rising forces of Arab
nationalism, actively encouraged by President Nasser in Egypt,
found a receptive audience in the remote and impoverished
Kingdom of Yemen which had never abandoned its territorial
claims to the British colony. This gradually weakened the
resolve of politicians in London to retain the port, leading to a
confused and muddled process of withdrawal. Characteristically,
attempts by London to draw up a compromise solution pleased
no one and undermined the British position in both Aden and
its hinterland, forcing the local authorities to declare a state
of emergency.
Colonel Peacock effortless moved from considering these wider
political factors to exploring the daily realities of conducting a
counter-insurgency operation in a hostile environment. Despite
the tactical successes won by the Army, which managed to secure
the highlands on the Yemeni border with minimal casualties,
terrorism in the city of Aden itself continued unabated whilst
local opinion gradually turned against the British. In particular,
he explained in vivid detail the constant pressure placed upon
sentries and patrols who never knew where or when the next
grenade attack would occur. Of particular interest to the audience
was his anecdotes recounting rest and recreation trips organised
for soldiers during their time in Aden, most of which seemed
to involve the consumption of copious quantities of alcohol.
Despite the bravery and professionalism of the Army though,
political pressure eventually brought about a premature British
retreat in late 1967, resulting in the creation of a Marxist state
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in South Yemen. The peculiar challenges of the three-year long
emergency, often described as Britain’s last colonial war, are in
many ways similar to those currently faced by NATO forces in
Afghanistan. Then as now, an inhospitable landscape, hostile
population and indecisive politicians placed great burdens
on the shoulders of the soldiers who were fighting and dying
for their country on the ground, the only difference of course
being that Marxism has long since been replaced by Islamic
fundamentalism as the enemy. A particular point mentioned by
Colonel Peacock that surprised many members of the audience
was that 1968, the year following our withdrawal from Aden,
is to date the only year since 1945 where British troops are
not in active combat anywhere on Earth. All in all, thanks
must be given to MPS for securing such a knowledgeable
speaker and Colonel Peacock himself for an entertaining yet
informative talk.
Byron Consort
Mass at Westminster Cathedral
1 March
On Saturday 1 March, the Byron Consort ventured into London
in order to sing at the First Mass of Sunday at Westminster
Cathedral, presided over by Fr Alexander Master OH (who
recently returned to Harrow to preach) and with the organ
played marvellously by Edward Symington OH. The journey
was somewhat formulaic, and the tedium was only relieved by
CST’s enthusiasm for Ja’mie: Private School Girl. The rehearsals
(both in the Cathedral and the song school-like library) also
proceeded without any cause for concern, and the choir even
managed to arrive back broadly on time from what is known
as “free time”. The responsorial psalm, however, seemed
oddly familiar, as Fr Alexander had transcribed the final line
from When Raleigh Rose as the congregational response in a
nod to his alma mater and in the spirit of the recent series of
Sherlock (did anyone else think it suspicious when Sherlock said
“pray charge your glasses, gentlemen”?). All was not entirely
uneventful, however, as the traditional uniform mishap occurred
– this time, luckily, it was only a tie and the boy shall remain
nameless, partly to protect his identity and partly because your
correspondent has completely forgotten who he was. The mass
setting for the occasion was the Missa Bell’ Amfitrit’ Altera
by Orlande de Lassus, and we also performed Tallis’ Salvator
Mundi and Jackson’s O Sacrum Convivium. SPS also joined
us for the Mass and for our now customary visit to Nando’s,
which as PJE noted, is much better than McDonald’s. Sadly, the
choir will not be performing Macmillan’s Miserere at the Spring
Concert next week, but we look forward to performances in the
coming weeks at the Mass for Ash Wednesday in Chapel and
at the Church of Our Lady of the Assumption & St Gregory,
Warwick Street, and of course in Toronto and Chicago over
the Easter holidays. PJE, CST, JPBH and SPS all deserve our
thanks for their time and their continuing commitment to the
Byron Consort.
Here and There
Sanha Lee, The Park, has been awarded the very prestigious
Rector’s Undergraduate Scholarship for Imperial College
London, an award for new students who demonstrate exceptional
academic promise. Many congratulations to Sanha for this
achievement!
Gaffe and Gown
Quips from Around the Hill
After being instructed to sing badly during a House play
rehearsal by the director, a boy in the VI2s replies “But Miss,
I just don't know how to sing badly!”
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“Sir, you’re denying them an education.” (A savvy attempt to
try and extend the break) “Boy, I think they’re doing a pretty
good job of that themselves.”
“Sir, the legalisation of marijuana in Colorado state has led
to excess tax revenues.” “Then why not legalise murder and
tax that!”
Overheard during catechism, “The amount of sin in here is
appalling.”
“Boys, I hope you won't panic about the fact that you're 5
degrees Celsius away from death whilst you sleep.”
correspondence
To the Editors of The Harrovian,
Dear Sirs,
As the Fifth Form were told to fill in their AS options online
a couple of weeks ago, it reminded me of my position last
year when I had filled my AS options in on the online survey:
Religious Studies, History, Ancient Greek and Latin. Then, a
couple of weeks later, these choices no longer fit the columns.
Now, whilst I am enjoying English, which was my 6th AS choice
(as Ancient History was also initially blocked), I am not doing
as well in it as my other subjects and struggling a bit.
I would like to know, first, why do the subjects have to be
columned off? Is this only for the convenience of the Director
of Studies, to make his job easier? In my case, it seems to have
actually disadvantaged the boy. Although it may be argued
that it is necessary for him to do because of the size of his job
(which I admit is a large and challenging one), I would say
that I do know of other schools of our size who first ask what
subjects the boy would want to do before forming the necessary
columns for the timetable. Further, why can a boy not take
the subjects that he wants when his parents are paying such a
vast fee for him to attend the School? Surely this fee warrants
the best treatment for a pupil, but sadly, there are cases when
it is not granted. The School’s primary aim should be to get
each boy in to the best university he can and this will not be
achieved by compelling a boy to do his sixth best subject. Now
whilst some might argue that I have brought this up rather late,
my reason for doing so is not to moan or complain about my
own situation, but rather to ask for further clarification for the
benefit of future Sixth Form students so that the School can
provide them with the best education possible.
Yours Ever,
Hilary Foord
The Park
[The editors of The Harrovian have sollicited the response
below from the Director of Studies to accompany in the same
edition of the Harrovian Mr Foord’s original letter.]
Dear Sirs,
I was slightly concerned by Hilary Foord’s letter which includes
some misunderstandings about the way we build the timetable
at Harrow.
First, the subject columns are not a convenience intending to
make building the timetable easier. The columns are carefully
developed based on the choices of boys over many years,
trying to facilitate as many subject choices and combinations
as possible. They are not created at random, but rather cleverly
based on historical trends, and they are revised each year. If and
when there are ‘clashes’ or subject choices that do not fit, we
always try to accommodate these and we often move subjects
to facilitate options for a boy. I’m sorry that we were not able
to accommodate the author’s choices, but it is occasionally the
case that rarer subject combinations are just not quite possible
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when over the years no boys have chosen that combination.
The suggestion of eliminating columns and creating columns
anew each year is an interesting one. It is true that some schools
do this – in fact I implemented this when I worked at another
school in order to facilitate more pupils’ choices. The end
result is the same, however: the customised, new columns
facilitate the vast majority of combinations (which we already
do) and then a few subject combinations do not fit. A rare
subject combination is still rare in a custom made system, which
simply tries to maximise the possible options.
The writer makes a final point that given the vast fee his
parents pay, we should be able to allow each boy to do whatever
subjects he wants. Perhaps the author might remember that
the School is a charity, and it runs on relatively tight finances. The largest cost in the annual budget is the recruitment and
retention of teaching staff. The only way to make every
possible combination work is to hire additional beaks to teach
additional divisions in each column, which would only go
to increase the fees and limit money that could be spent on
everything else – from refurbishing toshes in the House to the
abundance of beetroot and the much loved tuna and chicken
in the salad bar. In short, we work hard to facilitate every choice for every
boy, but just occasionally that is not possible. This is a
frustration of mine, and it is certainly one of my primary aims
as Director of Studies to ensure that each boy can actualise their
potential in the subjects of their choice. I can name each boy
whose combination has not fit in the timetable in my tenure
at Harrow, because it frustrates me considerably and I did try
to resolve each issue. Whilst I am genuinely sorry we were
not able to accommodate the author’s subjects, I’m afraid this
is a limitation of the system, which is true not just at Harrow,
but in all schools. If any boy is interested in seeing in more
detail how we build the timetable, I would be happy to talk
them through the spreadsheets. I might add, in closing, that
our timetable at Harrow is quite an extraordinary custom built
programme. It was developed and is maintained by a muchadmired, wholly committed and passionate Maths beak, who I
know shares my commitment to provide the very best offering
that we can each year for all Harrovians.
Yours,
J. R. Elzinga
Director of Studies
SQUASH
The School v Brentwood (Away)
National Schools Quarter Final
1st v Won 4-1
H.W.F. Goodfellow, Moretons, Lost 0-3
D. Bernardi, Newlands, Won 3-0
J.A. Jordache, Moretons, Won 3-0
G.D. Ratnavel, The Knoll, Won 3-0
R.G. White, Moretons, Won 3-1
Form in the Bread and Butter encounters in the league do not
always equate to success in the Cup. Just ask Wigan Athletic.
However, after a year unbeaten, even the Daily Grind of
the Bread and Butter became important to this odd group of
Harrovians, and for a change, they have also been rewarded
with glory in the Cup. They are now fantasising about their
future visit to the National Squash Palace in Manchester, their
limited imaginations running wild.
How has this been achieved by a group who sit at the very
back of the bus even when it is totally empty and there is no
one else to impress; by a team that has a joint captain who
never wins and a joint captain who needs an inhaler after 4
points of the first game; by a bunch who believe that the most
important aspect of reaching the Squash Palace is that they
might get a new team outfit made of a material that does not
March 8, 2014
absorb sweat? Several factors may have contributed to this
strange phenomenon.
The Goodfellow Factor: This person turns up to all our matches
and insists on playing at number one. He is an amateur who
would like to be glorious. On this occasion, he was so happy
that the team had won that he smiled inanely at the spectators
after every lost point, of which there were many. But the point
is that he does turn up. He soaks up all that the opposing worldclass number one can throw at him, loses, and thus allows
the Kenyan Lad and others to get to work on the lower order.
Without Goodfellow turning up and losing at number one, we
would not be dreaming of the casino that exists in the bowels
of the Squash Palace.
Special Needs: For a long while it was believed that the
Kenyan Lad was the best deaf and dumb player in the world.
He never spoke or seemed to know what the score was. And
then, early in 2012 there was a breakthrough when he opened
his mouth slowly and uttered the immortal words, “Mr Higgins
says I have to play rugby”. From then on he often said “Mr
Higgins says I have to play rugby”. This relative inability to
speak, change expression or know what the score is, and the
rules are, is frightening to play against.
Football: At first it was thought that football would stunt
the development of Mr Niggle. But instead it has created an
animal. He has learned from football two important lessons;
how to tackle on a squash court and how to play through his
niggles. Not many expect to be tackled on a squash court, so
it can create an element of surprise and fear. Waking up each
day with so many aches and pains cannot be easy, but Mr
Niggle shrugs it off before relentlessly pursuing his prey. He
has limited conversation, but most early sentences involve the
word “niggle”, as in “I’ve got an ankle niggle” or “I’ve got a
knee niggle”. After the match he will say “I was rubbish” and
goes home. He and the Kenyan Lad are not often seen in deep
conversation with each other. On reaching the Squash Palace
Mr Niggle said “maybe we can watch United”
The Illusion of Lack of Fitness: The only Sri Lankan to
represent the might of Buckinghamshire at Under 9 level
wins very often. This is mainly because his feeble appearance
at first evokes sympathy and a few muffled giggles amongst
the opposition. He is often offered scraps of food by passing
parents. His opponent is immediately rendered lifeless, all
adrenaline draining away as he wonders if the right age group
has turned up. This feeling is further reinforced as after two
minutes the Bucks Under 9 looks as if he is about to throw up.
He will lean against the wall and pant as loudly as possible.
He is often in this position as his opponent serves for the next
point. He continues to adopt this posture after every serious
rally. He may occasionally gasp “I’ve forgotten my inhaler”.
By this time the medics are on hand but our Bucks Under 9
brushes them aside and soldiers on. His opponent is now almost
comatose with confidence but somehow loses the first game,
and the second... and the third. He has been the victim of a
very clever illusion – the well-known Lack of Fitness Ploy or
Feeble Body Syndrome. It works every time.
Dogged Number 5: This is an essential for all successful
teams. To have a number 5 who will keep fetching that bone
and who always remembers where it was hidden. Like most
faithful dogs, he has an acute sense of danger and this manifests
itself in a deep mistrust of the front half of the court. He rarely
ventures forward, and if he does it is with deep trepidation,
as if he can sense those unexploded bombs. This innate fear
of the far away open spaces often seems to transmit itself to
opponents, who also become wary of leaving the back wall,
and a sort of stalemate sets in. This is exactly what happened
at Brentwood. There is something deeply rhythmical and
mesmerising about two Dogged Number 5s going about their
business at the back of the court. It is like a ritual dance handed
down over the centuries. Whenever our Dogged Number 5 was
forced to the front, he went completely limp, hardly able to
hold the racket. The rallies were endless and hypnotised the
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trance-like audience. Our Dogged Number 5 wobbled, but in
the end Out-Dogged the other dog.
So it has been a simple and age-old formula. But will
Millfield be fooled?
Rackets
The School v Charterhouse
27 February
1st Pair, Won 4-1 R. White, Moretons, and H. Goodfellow, Moretons
2nd Pair, Won 3-0
H. Prenn, Bradbys, and J. Chen, Rendalls
Colts A, Won 3-2 A. Rath, Lyon's, and A. Temple, The Head Master's, Colts B, Lost 2-3
H. Laing, Druries, and P. Monteiro de Barros, The Park
Junior Colts, Lost 1-3
A. Green, The Grove, and A. Maxwell, Elmfield The highlight of the day was an excellent performance from
the 1st Pair to beat one of the top pairs on the circuit on their
own court.
Judo
1 March
The Harrow Judo team made their way to the High Wycombe
Judo Centre early on Saturday morning for the annual Independent
National Championships with a strong squad of 15 players.
Ahead lay a full day of fighting that would involve boys from
every year and a wide range of different weight categories.
The Junior team began the proceedings with Charles Hainsworth,
The Park, in the -50kg, David Holland, Bradbys, -66kg and
Zayan Dhanani, The Park, and Daniel Shailer, Rendalls, in
the -73kg. All of them fought with great skill with Holland
narrowly missing out on gold to win silver. Likewise Dhanani
also won a silver and Hainsworth and Shailer gained hard
fought bronze medals.
In the intermediate section Harrow had a large squad of
exceptional fighters but we were slightly disappointed to walk
away with one gold (Bassey, West Acre, +81kg), one silver (Alex
Wade, The Grove, -81kg) and four bronzes (Nikita Ponomarenko,
Lyon's, -60kg, Reuben Hembury-Stroud, Bradbys, -66kg, Angus
Edwards, The Park, -73kg and Harry Markham, Bradbys,
+81kg). Wade came very close to winning the gold with some
brilliant and inspirational fights as did Hembury-Stroud who
fought more fights that anyone after his entire weight group
drew on points and had to fight each other all over again. KC
Bassey crushed all who stood before him and was again one
of the stars of the tournament. Toni Fola-Alade, Rendalls,
was unlucky to miss out on a medal but he had to fight some
extremely tough competitors in his group.
The senior team fought last and were led by their captains
Josh Stephens, The Head Master's, -90kg and Ali Judeh, The
Park, -66kg. Stephens fought extremely well and won a silver
and Judeh also came through to win a bronze despite winning
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H A R R O V I A N
3 fights and only losing one. Felix Evans, The Head Master's,
and Will Yoon, Moretons, fought in two of the toughest and
biggest divisions in the entire competition and despite fighting
to near exhaustion (Yoon literally collapsed at the end) they
did not gain a medal. But they displayed magnificent character
and determination (as did the entire squad) and made all of us
proud to be in the Harrow team.
At the end of the day we missed out on winning the team
competition narrowly by a mere two points as we came second
overall. There were more than 20 schools competing from
around the country. We did however beat Winchester, our old
foe, which made us very satisfied indeed.
Polo
During half term Hugo Taylor, Druries, captained the young
England Under 16 team. He travelled to the Palm Beach Polo
club in Florida where they played the USA winning 9-1. He
was the team’s top goal scorer scoring 5 goals for England.
On Thursday the B team had a nail biting game against
Licensed Victuallers. They won in the final chukka 13-12. It
was Taylor’s first school match and he was outstanding scoring
8 goals.
On Sunday the A and B teams played against Kent and
Reading University. The A team out matched their opponents,
winning 9:0. The top goal scorer was James Emlyn, Druries,
with 7 goals.
The B team had no problems beating Reading University.
They won 20-4. Charles Cadogan, Druries, was the top goal
scorer with 11 goals closely followed by Tayo Ojora, Rendalls,
who scored 8 goals.
Cross Country
27 February
A bottle of red wine is all it took to buy off CJFB. It wasn’t even
a very good bottle of red either. It was the sort you would find
on the bottom shelf at a supermarket with a recommended retail
price of about £4.50. The Head of Cross Country at Abingdon
must be applauded for his use of underhand tactics in trying to
win favour with his Harrow School counterpart. JNK smelled
a rat from a mile off and really should have acted upon it, alas
at the time this gift had been made to CJFB, JNK was quite
literally a mile off taking the Junior team on their warm up.
The Harrow School Cross Country Team had travelled down
to Marlborough for a fixture against the hosts and seven other
schools, including Bryanston, Clifton, Kingswood, Magdalen,
Sherbourne, St. Edwards and Winchester.
As the gun to the Junior race fired, JNK looked over at CJFB
and saw him clutching the bottle of red in his hands in a manner
remarkably similar to that which Gollum looked after the ring.
It will never be known what CJFB was thinking at that precise
moment (Wensleydale cheese, Jacob’s crackers, glass of red –
it was a Thursday after all…) but one thing was for certain;
CJFB, the illustrious leader of the Harrow School cross country
team for two decades, was side-tracked. However, the Juniors
performed heroics. They won the team event by a significant
margin owing to some fantastic individual performances. Out
of the 33 boys running from five schools, George Grassly, The
Knoll, continued his fine Spring term finishing runner up, Angus
Denison-Smith, Elmfield, was fourth, Oliver Acar, Moretons,
came fifth and Alfie Hayes, Moretons, completed the scoring
for the Juniors with a solid 11th place.
The Intermediates, much like CJFB, were off the pace. They
finished fifth out of the ten schools in their age category but can
at least put that down to Senior team call-ups and last minute
injury withdrawals. James Bird, West Acre, was the first Harrow
boy back in a respectable 15th out of seventy runners. One does
wonder how much higher up Fabian Dobree, The Knoll, could
T H E
H A R R O V I A N
have finished had he not been so interested in attempting to
chat up any Marlborough girl he saw.
The Seniors have developed a healthy rivalry with Abingdon
in recent years. It is not exactly a Merseyside derby, more
Murray-Nadal. Lascelles Hussey, Elmfield, and Louis Clarke,
Bradbys, set the early pace alongside the eventual winner from
Abingdon and finished in second and third respectively. Both
boys ran brilliantly together. Abingdon took fourth place. Ben
Horgan, Newlands, finished in a very good fifth place, making
up several places in the final mile. Abingdon took 8th and 10th.
Tom Crawford, Newlands, came home in 14th. Abingdon were
the Senior team winners and scored 23 points. Harrow finished
one point behind to record second place. The Seniors gave it
their all but were just beaten to the gold medal. Defeats are
hard to take, especially this one. However, much like a good
red wine gets better with age, most of this Senior team will
still be around next year to exact our revenge upon Abingdon
and their ever so generous Head of Cross Country.
Clay Pigeon Shooting
27 February
On Thursday, a beautiful, sunny afternoon with only very
light wind, Harrow hosted 72 competitors in 18 teams from 8
schools at the annual Fido May Trophy Competition held at the
EJ Churchill shooting ground. In the face of some very strong
competition, Harrow took 6th, 8th, 12th and 14th team places
out of 18 (including a team of Shells).
Harrow’s three highest shots were Rupert Smith, Rendalls,
with 40/50, Will Quilter, West Acre, (Captain of Shooting) with
38/40 and Cassian Ferrari, Elmfield, with 36/50.
Initially Smith achieved a joint high gun score but then lost
to Marlborough, in a shoot-out.
March 8, 2014
term where we sat in the same position at half time, 2-1 down,
primed to pull off an “all-time epic comeback!” SMS tweaked
our tactics slightly and we were straight back on the field.
The break had clearly done us good as the first five minutes
of the second half were the best Harrow played. Focused minds
and refreshed bodies meant Harrow created several opportunities
through quick passing, and good counter attacking hockey, which
led to the equaliser from Oscar Watkins, Newlands, tapping in
at the far post after brilliant build up play involving Bernardi,
Tom Cherry, Druries, and Geordie Younger, The Park.
Harrow continued to work hard and were further rewarded!
Robbie White, Moretons, scored a goal that can only be described
as wondrous! Not even Messi (the Messi of hockey that is, or
Jamie Dwyer? Teun de Nooijer?) could recreate this by-line
shot coming after a purposeful run into the D and then beating
the keeper on his near post from a near impossible angle which
gave Harrow the lead. Bernardi scored his second not soon
after putting Harrow up 4-2.
The heat (or our smiles) took its toll late on however, and
despite some fantastic keeping from Michael Glerum, Druries,
Dulwich poached two close-range opportunities to level the
score line.
Harrow continued to play to the best of their ability but were
unable to break down the Dulwich defence again despite some
good team play that created a couple of possible game-winning
chances; including a back stick shot Watkins should have buried
but didn’t, poor lad. The result was the final score of 4-4.
The draw does continue the 1st XIs unbeaten run but who
knows, maybe on a wetter day Harrow might have been able
to come away with the win.
2nd XI v Dulwich
Lost 2-4
3rd XI v DulwichDrew 3-3
Junior Colts A v Dulwich
Lost 0-6
Junior Colts B v Dulwich
Lost 2-8
Yearlings A v DulwichWon 4-0
Yearlings B v Dulwich Lost 2-3
Robbie White, Moretons, has been re-awarded his hockey colours
and Davide Bernardi, Newlands, Freddie Ruffell, Rendalls, and
Dan Steward, Moretons, have all been awarded hockey colours
for their outstanding contribution to the 1st XI.
Hockey
25 February
Yearlings A v Aldenham School Won 6-1
Yearlings B v Aldenham SchoolWon 4-0
2nd XI v Eton
Lost 2-5
3rd XI v Eton
Lost 0-3
The School 1st XI v Dulwich
27 February
We arrived on a day that, against all odds, actually resembled
the first day of spring, resulting in SMS’s stern warning of,
“the sun can cause mistakes –” and for some pessimistic reason
(possibly because he had joined us straight from running laps
on the track and wanted us to share his discomfort) “– so I
don’t want to see any smiling”.
Harrow took first blood from a short corner by Davide Bernardi,
Newlands, (who else?) early in the first half and should have
had more goals with the opportunities Harrow created through
fast and effective leads from the forwards and good build up
play from the midfield. Despite ‘decisive’ defending from the
defence, Dulwich were unfortunately able to double our tally
and enter half time two goals to the good.
The Harrow huddle was unfazed by the score-line though, and
minds began to cast back to the Haberdasher’s game before half
Golf
The School v Bradfield College
27 February, Denham Golf Club
Lost 1/2 - 2 1/2
On an unexpectedly sunny, dry and Spring-like day at Denham,
Harrow took on a senior side from Bradfield College. Tee off
was 2.10pm and the format was Greensomes (in Greensomes,
both players on a team tee off, the best of the two tee balls is
selected and that ball is then played alternate-shot until holed).
A useful format on a day when the light would not allow play
much beyond 5.45pm. However, boys being boys, the matches
still managed to take over four hours resulting in the second
and third pairs having to finish 2 and 3 holes early, respectively.
Bradfield were the sharper team overall showing quality from
the first shot whereas Harrow showed that a little bit of rust
had gathered over the winter. Credit deservedly goes to Aidan
Osobase, Moretons and Kabir Gandhi, Bradbys, who managed
to get half a point in an exciting match.
1st pair – lost 4 and 3
F. Gaba, Lyon’s, G. Haggerty, Newlands
2nd pair – halved
K.Gandhi, Bradbys, A. Osobase, Moretons
3rd pair – lost 3 and 2
W. Bayne, Bradbys, F. Ruffell, Rendalls
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March 8, 2014
FIVES
The School v Eton ( Home)
27 February
T.M. Nevile & T.M. Skinner, both Elmfield
Lost 13-12, 9-12, 12-7, 6-12, 4-12
R.S. Wijeratne & O.J. Denby, The Head Master’s & The Park
Won 13-11, 12-4, 13-11
G.F. Reid & A.R. Huo, Moretons & The Head Master’s
Won 13-11, 13-10, 12-8
A.J. Taylor & J.P.E. Ayoub, Bradbys & The Head Master’s
Won 12-3, 12-4, 12-7
A.J. Nevile & E.C.C. Bayne, both Bradbys
Won 9-12, 12-9, 10-12, 12-7, 12-7
M. Prasad & H.M.C. Collins, The Park & Rendalls
Won 12-9, 12-6, 12-9
A.A. Jaja & Q.Q. Gaba, Moretons & Lyon’s
Won 10-12, 12-8, 12-2, 12-2
M.A.P. Tonkins & B.J. Menell, Moretons & West Acre
Lost 10-14, 2-12, 4-12
A. Armon & K.A.A. Amaan, The Head Master’s & The Grove
Won 12-5, 10-12, 12-14, 12-6, 12-9
W.T. Downes & A. Nazir, Elmfield & The Head Master’s
Won 12-9, 12-9, 6-12, 14-11
F.G. Hall & S. Durrani, Moretons & The Park
Won 12-5, 12-4, 12-3
Harrow Football
The School XI v Tom Wallace XI
1 March
Won 3-0
The Tom Wallace XI: T. Wallace, (Elmfield), 19943, A. Pateras
, (Moretons), 19943, B. Maclean, (Rendalls), 19943, , J. Dick,
(The Park), 19943­, S. Matthews, 19933, R. Higgs (The Grove),
19933, J. Taylor (Elmfield), 19933, C. Bendon (Druries) 19893,
B. Woolley (Elmfield) 19893, H. Scholfield (Elmfield)19943, W.
Ferguson (Elmfield) 19943, P. Magan (Elmfield) 19973, R. Syms
(Elmfield) 19993, E. Hill (The Head Master's), 19943 and Paddy
Hills (Moretons),20013
Saturday was certainly one of the warmer days of the season
that saw the Harrow boys take to the decomposing footer stage
which had a weird, petroleum-looking top layer: OFSTED would
not be happy. The OHs arrived at said stage in their pristine
white kits and so the game began.
Hemstall 5, home of The Eleven, is well and truly in perfect
Harrow football condition. An array of ankle deep puddles stops
all bouncing of the ball whilst the thick layer of mud proves
testing for even the newest, thickest stud. Within minutes The
Eleven could see that they had their work cut out for them
today in what CJAT later described as “the toughest game of
the season so far, and probably overall”. Unrealised by many,
Rupert Smith, Rendalls, suffered a heavy blow in the opening
minutes of the game leaving him with a dislocated shoulder.
Meanwhile for the OHs, a grossly sounding clash of heads meant
one player had to leave the field for stitches as blood covered
his face: OFSTED would definitely not be happy! A few long
range efforts, from the massive boot of Sam Woodhouse, The
H A R R O V I A N
Grove, narrowly crept wide whilst the OHs came close to a
base of their own. Raunaq Cavet, The Knoll, did well to deny
them getting the ball across the line. At half-time, the score
was still 0-0 and captains Henry Kenyon, The Head Master’s,
and Woodhouse expressed their pleasure at the performance
so far against a gritty and highly physical OH team: however,
they also mentioned they’d like a base!
Perhaps not exactly how they had intended, Guy Blount,
Elmfield, proved that chasing up the field can prove rewarding as
he stole the ball off the OH defender and in glorious, chav-ball
style, slotted home a base just minutes after the break. At 1-0,
the OHs continued to fight for the ball but good positioning
paid off for The Eleven. Alastair Bath, Bradbys, turned and gave
yards to Rory Saper, Newlands, in an easy enough range, even
for Saper’s twiggy, chicken legs. CJAT kindly made Saper feel
less pressured by announcing that this was in fact Saper’s debut,
whilst an OH joined in with the sympathy by alluding to everyone
that the Headmaster himself had just made an appearance behind
the base; so definitely, no pressure. Saper, however, punted the
ball through to put Harrow 2 bases ahead.
With the OHs growing tired, the game grew slower as though
the mud had become stickier. Deep in the OHs half, the ball
came back to Saper who turned to flick to William Toogood,
Moretons. With the yards given, the giant took his 3 lunges
towards the base and sent the ball through for The Eleven’s
final base, making both Kenyon and Woodhouse happy. A high
quality game played with the utmost spirit; thank you OHs!
Bases scored by Saper and Toogood, (Blount’s chav-ball base
doesn’t really count.) Solid performances from all with Saper
as Man of the Match.
Soccer Results
1st XI v DulwichWon 1-0
2nd XI v DulwichWon 6-3
4th XI v DulwichDrew 2-2
6th XI v Dulwich
Lost 2-0
Colts A v DulwichWon 2-0
Colts C v DulwichWon 4-1
Colts D v DulwichWon 4-3
Junior Colts A v DulwichWon 5-0
Junior Colts B v DulwichWon 2-0
Junior Colts C v Dulwich Lost 3-1
Yearlings A v DulwichWon 1-0
Yearlings B v DulwichWon 3-1
Yearlings C v DulwichWon 3-0
Yearlings E v DulwichWon 3-1
Yearlings F v DulwichWon 3-1
The Harrovian is published weekly during term time by Harrow School as both an organ of record and a forum for comment, debate and the expression of
individual opinion within the School. Articles are submitted anonymously and any views expressed do not necessarily reflect official School policy.
Ways to contact The Harrovian
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email the Master in Charge smk@harrowschool.org.uk
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