The Crimson Chronicle - Hollywood High School

HOLLYWOOD HIGH SCHOOL
The Crimson Chronicle
A HOLLYWOOD HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT PUBLICATION VOLUME VI, ISSUE IV APRIL 2009
School lunch:
it could get worse
The state’s cafeteria
funds have gone down
the drain.
BY LUCY BLAGG
The National Lunch Program
was created in 1946 with the
intention of providing either
low-cost or entirely free meals
to students so that they would
be able to perform well during
school. To this day, low-income
families are provided with the
reassuring knowledge that their
children will always be eligible
to receive a free meal so long as
they are enrolled in school.
But this attempt to lend a
helping hand has recently been
severely jeopardized in the state
of California.
Wednesday, April 1, a subcommittee of the California State
Senate reviewed a bill dealing
with the under-funding of California’s school cafeterias.
Simply put, this year’s funding
for California’s school cafeterias
has run out; if the state does not
replenish the funds, students are
likely to see a dramatic “decline
in quality” in their school lunches, according to former LAUSD
school board member Marlene
Canter, who has been fighting
for a higher caliber of school
lunches for over eight years. She
says that school lunches will no
longer include fresh fruits and
vegetables; instead, they will
come from canned goods.
AB 95 calls for $19.5 million
to be put into the state’s Cafeteria
Fund, which operates separately
from any other fund in California, and is responsible for supplying school districts’ students
with nutritious and inexpensive
food.
But according to Andrea
John-Folley, a nutritionist who
represented Canter at a press
conference on March 27, that
$19.5 million is merely a temporary solution to the problem, and
“peanuts compared to what the
program really needs.”
Each student meal costs
between two and three dollars.
The federal government pays for
$2.16 of that cost, and the difference -- typically around 50 cents
-- is taken from a given state’s
cafeteria fund. In California, the
state reimburses
But this reimbursement is not
enough, says Folley, adding
that “the needs of working class
families are not being met.”
Junior class plans to
bring the boogie
BY SAGAR VORA
Get ready to get down and
boogie!
Hollywood High School’s
2009 Junior Prom will be taking
place the evening of Friday,
April 24th.
After almost three rounds of
voting, the junior class, along
with President Gloria Fuentes,
finalized this year’s Junior Prom
theme to be “Disco Fever.” The
other contenders for themes
included “Ebony & Ivory,”
“Masquerade,” “Casino,” “Under
the Sea,” and “Pin Up.”
The dance will take place
from 7 p.m. to 11p.m. At first,
many class members questioned
the location of the event, but
after being briefed on the school
policy of holding an event within
a 15 mile radius of the school,
most of the clamour died down.
The junior class has found it
beneficial to have a low budget
prom so there will be enough
remaining funds to host a more
prominent, upscale senior
prom. The Woman’s Club of
Hollywood has had a tradition
of renting out their club to
Hollywood for a discounted
price.
Tickets for the event will start
selling at a presale price of $10
from April 13th to the 17th. Then
the following week, April 20th to
the 24th, presale tickets will rise
five dollars to a price of $15. If
you plan at paying at the door,
tickets will be sold at $20. There
will not be dinner for this event.
Music for the event has not
been finalized yet, but when
asked, the junior class’ Sponsor,
Ms. Wallek, assured that a DJ
would be present.
White Studios has opted
to photograph for the event.
Attendees at the class meeting
voted on a gray and silver
background for photographs
to be taken against. So make
sure your outfits match the
background.
Administrators in charge and
that are most likely to attend the
event include Assistant Principal
Mr. Nacorda, Ms. Payne, Ms.
Ross, and Ms. Wallek.
Photo credit: Boston Alba
JOURNALISM STUDENTS FROM THE LOS ANGELES AREA look on as former Los Angeles
Times City Editor Bill Boyarsky introduces Andrew John-Folley, an advocate for healthy school lunches.
Greek tragedy hits Hollywood
New school play opens its
auditions to all Small Learning Communities for the first
time in decades.
BY ELIZABETH MARQUEZ
For the first time in recent memory, students from
different small learning communities auditioned
for the latest school play, the Greek tragedy,
Antigone. Nornally school plays are conduced by
the performing arts magnet.
Before auditioning on March 19, magnet English
teachers Paul Itkin and Kate Bridges passed out the
scripts to help students familiarize themselves with
the characters. Students read the script aloud as a
way of understanding the story.
The reason Antigone was chosen was because
the school has been doing this play for many years.
According to Itkin, this play is part of the curriculum
and he likes the argument presented in the play.
Antigone introduces the audience to pragmatism
versus idealism and the play deals with the practical
things of life. Itkin says, “If someone has to die, then
so be it.” The main character Antigone has to deal
with the choices of whether or not to live, whether
or not to marry the prince, and whether or not to
be wealthy. She is someone who loves everything
about life, and is being asked to die. Antigone also
learns that she is in a man’s world, which gives the
audience a “feminist outlook,” according to Itkin.
Antigone will appeals to students because there
are parallels between the play and today, Itkin
said. Antigone reveals its central political conflicts,
which are relatable to today, like what is best for the
country, is a war necessary, how should the rich and
poor be dealt with, what is right, and who is truth.
As many know, there are always obstacles that
interfere with progress. Therefore, it is undetermined
when Antigone will premiere. In this case, budget
constraints and grades are somewhat an obstacle since
a 2.0 grade point average is required to participate.
Itkin and Bridges claim that this production does not
require a lot of material and are willing to use a bare
stage if necessary. Bridges says it is not possible to
“do a play for less than five thousand dollars. [But]
we may do this for nothing. We won’t miss the sets
and the important thing is that everybody gets the
opportunity to participate. The only obstacles we
face are the ones we place in front of us, plus the
commitment that is put in.”
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
Hollywood
high students
create their
own music
video...pg 4
wash your
hands, you
might catch
senioritis...pg
5
art from
Ms. iamboliyski’s class...pg 8
the battle of
sunset boulevard...pg 7
feeling
drowsy? you
can blame
school for
that...pg 5
SATIRE
Editor’s Note: Satire is the ridicule of ideas, customs, behaviors or institutions for the purpose
of improving society. Its hallmarks are exaggeration, reversal and parody. The most famous example
of satire is probably Johnathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal” (1729) which inspired the two AP
English Language student essays that follow.
Surviving the economic
crisis the smart way
By Leslie Ibarra
Walking down the street is not
as pleasant as it used to be. You
are walking to your favorite store
and realize that your favorite
pair of jeans is on sale, but you
still cannot afford them. You see
all your friends buying Prada
boots and Coach Bags while
you’re stuck shopping at K-mart
because your parents cannot
afford to waste that much money.
It is a crisis affecting teenagers
and adults because teens cannot
purchase clothes or materials
that they want while parents
feel stressed with all the bills to
pay. How much money are we
wasting daily on groceries? It
is surely more than $20! People
are wasting $150 per week on
groceries that might last three
days. Adults that have babies
waste even more because they
have to buy diapers, wipes, milk,
powered milk and shampoos.
An average person wastes as
much as $130 on diapers for just
one month. Multiply that by 12
and you will be wasting around
$1,600 a year for just diapers.
You might think to yourself,
“The government is probably
fixing this crisis right?” Wrong;
the government isn’t doing
anything about this. As a
matter of fact, they seem to be
encouraging this economic crisis.
They are wasting millions on
war materials. If they care so
much about making our country
stronger and more independent,
why can’t they take time out and
start fixing our problems? We
are the ones that risk our lives
everyday to protect this nation.
Since they don’t seem to care,
I will make some suggestions
that will improve this economic
crisis. Starve yourself! Don’t eat
food because it’s just wasting
your money. Who needs food
anyways; it’s just making us
fatter and unhealthy. We can
have more time to ourselves
since we won’t have to worry
about cooking food every three
hours. Sometimes people are too
selfish when all they think about
is food. Think about important
stuff like “What should I wear
today?” If you starve yourself,
think about all that extra money
you would have in your wallet.
You would be able to afford
those Prada boots and Coach
bags that you always wanted.
You would finally fit in with
all your friends. You would say
good-bye to K-mart and hello to
Guess and Banana Republic.
Now if you really want to
become rich, don’t pay your
bills! Forget about them and
save your money just in case
any important situation seems to
come up. Change your address
or make it seem as if you do
not exist anymore. There is no
possible way that you should
feel bad for lying because you
are doing it for your own good.
When you see a bunch of money
stacked on your desk, you will
forget about ever feeling guilty.
In fact, you’ll have beautiful
images involving you and a pool
full of money. Wouldn’t your life
get better if you starved yourself
and didn’t pay your bills? You
would be able to travel all over
the world and experience new
situations and activities. You
would be able to go to France,
Japan, and Las Vegas. You could
meet new people and become
richer than Donald Trump. You
can actually have fun and still
get paid for it. You can gamble
and drink all night long and
you would still have enough
money because you were smart
enough to starve yourself, as well
avoiding those infinite bills.
If you honestly cannot lie
about your identity, then you’ll
have to master the five-finger
discount. It’s not like you are
lying, you are just mastering
a hobby that allows you to get
everything you ever wished for.
To top it off, it will allow you to
“buy” your family and friends
expensive gifts that you were
never able to afford. Not only
will you feel happy, your friends
and family will be happy too.
People could not possibly judge
you for stealing. They are just
jealous that they didn’t think of
it before. Besides, it’s not like
they need those untouched gifts
doing nothing. Let people enjoy
them because obviously workers
don’t know the real meaning of
happiness.
Sure, we might be going
through a huge economic crisis,
but it does not mean that we
can’t fight it. If you really want
the best for your family and for
yourself, then you definitely
have to follow my suggestions.
Remember: Lie, Cheat and Steal!
An average grocery total: $300
An average bill: $3,000
Starving yourself, avoiding
all those bills, and becoming a
skilled five finger discounter:
pricless.
The ultimate solution to the high
school drop out problem
By Lissette Morales
The young lady was merely fifteen years old.
Her family was poor and she had no one to show
her the difference between right and wrong. She
had no support, and was not the brightest person
ever so she obviously took the path that most lazy
and indolent students take. She dropped out. With
nobody to guide her, she got became a drug addict
and had three children; children that later followed
her same hopeless path. Somebody should have
realized that she just wasn’t smart enough for
school. Such misery would have been avoided.
The government isn’t doing much to stop this
uncontrollable increase of dropout rates, but I think
I know who will put an end to this terrible problem.
The government, in particular the United
States’ government, is making school appear less
appealing each and every day. The students are
bound to become overjoyed when they hear about
the government’s new idea to cut many teachers
and increase the number of students per class. “Oh
goody, I’d love to be deprived of any real one-onone learning with my teacher”, is what they must
be saying. This school drop out problem is getting
out of hand, and the government apparently can’t
come up with a plausible solution. Yet, I do have
a solution. A great one in fact. One that will knock
the socks off just about anybody.
A test that determines eligibility for school! It’s
perfect! At age five, every child should be required
to take an intelligence test to determine how smart
they are. A specific grading scale will be used and
if the child fails to pass this test, he or she will be
officially prohibited, by law, from attending school
for the rest of his or her life. Instead, they will
dedicate their lives to working in jobs that no welleducated person would want to work in. They will
work all day and pay taxes in order to help pay for
any educational necessities for (continued on pg 8)
HOROSCOPES
Aries: (March 21 - April 19)
You may want to try something
new but wait! Please do not,
because you will make yourself
look like an idiot. Don’t even
bother dressing up this weekend
because it is going to be lame for
you either way. If you thought
your love interest would surprise
you this weekend, sadly you
were wrong.
Taurus: (April 20 - May 20)
Oh you know that cutie you
have had your eye on? The
one that you have been trying
to get to know better? Well,
stop trying because they are
definitely not into you. The good
news is you can now move on!
Congratulations!
Gemini: (May 21- June 21)
It takes a lot to get you sad
and your love interest has been
pushing it! But do not bother
worrying about them because
much worse things are going
to happen to you this week. So
cheer up and do not sweat the
small things, because bigger
things are coming and that is
when you should start getting
upset.
Cancer: (June 22 - July 22)
Whatever you do this week,
make sure you sit around feeling
sorry for yourself. It might not
fix everything, but at least your
luck will not get any worse than
it already is. Do not bother trying
to cheer yourself up because
there is no hope!
Leo: (July 23 - August 22)
You’re used to always being in
the spotlight, but you need to get
out of the way because you are
really starting to bore people!
You should just go home because
people are really tired of seeing
your face! Find something else
to do, like locking yourself up in
your room or simply staying out
of people’s lives!
Virgo: (August 23 September 22) Has your love
interest been sending you mixed
signals lately? Well, you may be
glad to know that those are not
mixed signals; it is all in your
head! Stop kidding yourself; he/
she would never be interested in
you!
Libra: (September 23 October 23) You need to stop
having faith in yourself! We
all know how it’s going to turn
out if you decide to say “hi” to
him/her, so do not even think of
trying it. Trying to get your love
interest’s attention won’t help
your situation.
Scorpio: (October 24 Nobember 21) You may have
the perfect plan in your head
on how you are going to land
your crush, but you need to stop
kidding yourself! Try lowering
your standards, and start being
realistic and go for that guy/girl
that is in your league.
Sagittarius: (November
22 - December 21) You need to
stop waiting for things with your
crush to work out. If you think
that he/she is cheating on you,
well you’re right! Don’t wait to
find out by somebody else. Take
charge and spy on him/her!
Capricorn: (December 22January 19) Lately you’ve felt
confused about your feelings.
But don’t worry because great
news is coming your way! You
will find out that all those people
that you thought were your
friends don’t care one bit about
you. On top of all that you will
trip in front of your crush.
Aquarius: (January 20February 18) You’ve been
thinking that you are about to
land your crush but forget about
it because he/she doesn’t even
know you exist! On the bright
side, you now have more time
for homework!
Pisces: ( February 19- March
20) Things have been going
really well for you and your
significant other lately, but
listen, you need to watch out
because one of your friends has
been eyeing your crush! So just
back off because your crush
was going to choose your friend
anyway.
Horoscopes are meant to be
read for entertainment only.
Written by Leslie Orozco and
Kiara Hurtado.
CRIMSON CHRONICLE STAFF
LUCY BLAGG...EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
BOSTON ALBA...COPY EDITOR
SAGAR VORA...BUSINESS MANAGER
SREE BATCHU
YENORY CHAVES
DORA CHAVEZ
KIARA HURTADO
ANTONIO LOPEZ
ELIZABETH MARQUEZ
LESLIE OROZCO
ANTHONY QUINONES
EDUARDO UMANA
ADRIEL VIOLA
KAREN CUSOLITO...ADVISER
FEATURES
The risks of
Senior Ditch Day
BY DORA CHAVEZ
One of the many traditions
followed by seniors is “Senior
Ditch Day.” During this day,
the entire graduating class skips
school. Usually small groups
are formed and visit the beach,
the park, amusement parks, or
some decide to just stay home
and relax. Of course senior year
is stressful so many think that
skipping one day will do more
good than harm -- but that’s not
always the case.
Consequences for ditching
vary. If you are caught ditching
by the LAPD, you’re liable to
receive a citation. Citatations
are very costly and go on your
permanent record. You also risk
reaching the limit of absences
required to graduate on stage at
the Hollywood Bowl. Of course,
there is no concrete punishment
given by the administration to
the students for ditching school,
since not the entire class can be
punished and it is considered a
tradition by the graduating class.
So is it really worth ditching?
Despite there being no specific
punishment, the absence is noted
and added to the list.
The number of absences a
student can have is 10, and many
seniors are already reaching that
limit, risking their opportunity ro
graduate on stage.
There are many reasons to use
up absences: students can get
sick, have important issues to
take care of, or just to take the
day off and relax.
It is very critical that students
take the time to think through,
just as student Connie Caldwell
answered, “Personally I would
not because more important
things might come up.”
Citations are very harmful;
they remain on one’s record and
they can cost a great amount
of money, which many cannot
afford to pay. Should the LAPD
really have the right to give out
citations? Maybe they should
since a lot can occur to a student,
and they can diminish the risk.
hey still have to follow rules.
The tradition is still going to
exist and the rules will remain.
For those graduating in the
following years, they should
really think things through and
make a choice for which they
can take responsibility.
ALUMNI UPDATE
In this occasional column, the Chronicle ask
graduates to discuss their life after Hollywood
High and to give advice to today’s students.
This issue, we interviewed Monica Cuevas
from the Class of 2007.
Q: What goals did you accomplish at Hollywood High School?
A: “Hollywood High allowed me to play volleyball for the three
consecutive years, become the Homecoming princess for the year
of 2006, work for HTCP (Hollywood Teen Community Project) as
an advocate for teen pregnancy prevention, participate in the annual
culinary completion hosted by C-CAP (Careers through Culinary
Arts), and meet many inspirational people that somehow motivated
me to pursue my vision and dreams,” Cuevas said.
Q: Where are you now?
A: Cuevas is attending Monroe College, a small private school in
New York state on a full scholarship, and is in her junior year of
college. While at Monroe College, Cuevas traveled to the Italian
cities of Otranto, Ferrara, and Parma, were she was tutored in the
Italian language. “A typical day consisted of Italian language
tutoring, an internship, a three-hour culinary class, and a five online
classes.” She will however, transfer to University of Nevada Las
Vegas, where she says “it will expand my options and open more
doors for me.”
Q:How has Hollywood High helped you get were you are today?
A:The culinary arts classes in Hollywood were a big help for
Cuevas. The classes were the reason why she managed a full tuition
scholarship, and at the same time found out much more about herself.
“I would like to thank Mr. Papa, Ms. Cusolito, Mr. Debonis, Mr.
Burciaga, Ms.Cardenas, Ms. Conde, Mr. McDonald, Ms. Wilkerson,
Ms. Ross, Mr. Griljalva, Mr. Alas, my family, and those who had faith
in me,” said Cuevas.
Q:Do you have any suggestions for high school students?
A: “I encourage all of the prospective college students to enjoy and
graduate from high school, invest in a higher education, and be openminded with all your options and chances to explore the world.”
Cuevas advises that when going to college to not be scared to ask
questions and be willing to be more outgoing.
-- Anthony Quinones
Is the school’s recycling
really recycled?
BY SREE BATCHU
AND ANTONIO LOPEZ
For quite some time now,
teachers and students alike have
been recycling both their paper
and their bottles. Hollywood
High School is one of the few
high schools in the districts
that exhibits such passionate
“Go-green!” emphasis. Despite
all of that, one question roams
the mind of many teachers and
students, “Is the recycling really
recycled?”
You have seen the white bins,
and you probably have had to
put some recycling in there, but
have you ever wondered where
all of that really went? Plant
manager Frank Muniz was asked
where the recycling went and he
responded nonchalantly, in a way
that would answer the question
and stop any further skeptics,
“Oh, the recycling? Of course
it gets recycled! Do you think
we throw it away and mix it in
with all the trash?” In order to
make his response credible, he
was asked how it got recycled.
“Every week, a truck comes in
the school and it picks up the
recycling... [taking it] to the
appropriate place so it can get
recycled.” Many people had that question
in mind, but one that few thought
about would be: “What about
the green bins? Where did those
go?” About a couple of years
ago, green recycling bins were
placed all around the school.
These bins were used to recycle
cans and bottles, but a couple of
months ago, all of them seemed
to have disappeared.
When asked about the strange
and sudden disappearance
Muniz, the plant manager, had
this to say: “Those green bins
were used for recycling cans and
bottles but unfortunately due to
students abusing them we had to
take them away.”
Yes, it’s all of our faults that
the bins were taken away. If you
do recall them, do you remember
the time when you placed a
banana in there, or perhaps some
used piece of tissue paper? If you
do, then you contributed to this
punishment. According to Muniz,
one single teacher was in charge
of all of the green recycling bins.
This teacher had to clean out all
of the garbage that couldn’t be
recycled on a weekly basis all of
which was completely voluntary
work. After realizing that
students continued to abuse the
bins, the teacher decided to call it
quits and end this charade. Recently, though, the
TreeHuggers Club has
investigated bringing the green
bins back. Not only that, but a
teacher (we don’t exactly know
who it is) apparently has pitched
in several ideas for a recycling
program here at Hollywood High
School. In this program, students
would be able to volunteer and
help out keep the environment
clean while earning some service
working hours on the side which
are needed for graduation. Not
much more is known about the
program, but you can expect
it to begin to gain popularity
sometime soon once it arises. Adviser of the TreeHuggers
Club, Mr. Bah, has been a
strong proponent of recycling
and hopefully some of his ideas
will be molded into realities.
The Treehuggerís Club meets
Wednesdays at lunch in Mr.
Bah’s room, 509.
Last but not least, eco-friendly
paper has begun to become an
increasingly popular school tool
that students use. At Staples,
eco-friendly paper made of sugar
cane waste costs about 50 cents
more than the usual paper - a
small price to pay to keep the
Earth clean. So if you ever see a white bin
or a box in your classroom and
have a can/bottle or paper to
throw away, make sure to throw
it away in the recycling and not
the trash. You’ll feel much better
after doing so knowing that you
have contributed to the stoppage
of Earth’s deforestation. CONTACT US
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NEWS
Sheiks
fight
back at
Anti-war
rally
Hollywood High’s own
Magical Mystery Tour (bus)
BY SREE BATCHU
“We need jobs and education, not war and occupation!” chant Hollywood High students
and teachers. Members
of the Social Justice
SLC take a stand as
political activists.
BY KIARA HURTADO
Hippies, veterans, students, and
workers alike banded together
on March 21st and protested
occupation -- the control of a
country by military forces of a
foreign power -- in Iraq.
The rally took place in light of
the fact that this month marks
the sixth-year anniversary of the
United States’ engagement in the
Irag War.
Among those taking part from
Hollywood High were students
and faculty from the Social
Justice Academy.
Chanting, “Occupation is a
crime, from Iraq to Palestine!,”
the protestors marched south
on Cahuenga, west on Sunset,
north on Schrader and west on
Highland, according to Susan
Von Manske, lead teacher for the
Social Justice Academy. Another
favorite slogan was, “We need
jobs and education, not war
&and occupation!”
The protestors then moved
onto the Hollywood and
Highland mall, stopping in front
of the Mann’s Chinese Theater.
They hosted a symbolic die-in,
a protest technique in which
individuals visually represent the
mass destruction of the Iraq war,
Von Manske said.
After a one-and-a-half mile
long march, the protestors
ended up at the intersection
of Hollywood and La Brea
Boulevard, where they placed
fake coffins on the doorstep of
the Hollywood Armed Forces
Recruitment Center.
“I think it was an important
march because we are spending
$10 million on the war, and that
money could be better spent on
schools, providing jobs, health
care, and day care for Americans
who need them,” said Von
Manske. “And sadly Americans
do not connect the dots between
money that we are wasting on the
war and services we need.”
This rally and march was fully
permitted and was initiated by
the Answer Coalition.
Photos Credit: Joshua Marroquin
Hollywood High’s Digital
Production and Performing Arts
Magnet students have made their
own music video using the $5
million John Lennon educational
tour bus provided by Apple
computers.
The bus, which was parked
in the quad last week, has a
vocal section, an instrument
section, and a lounge section. All
together the equipment on the
bus is worth about $5 million,
according to Michael G.
Alvaro “Gir” Rodarte was the
director/cinematographer and
the assistant director Joshua
Marroquin. The production
assistant was Jose Hernandez.
Also involved were musicians
from Mr. Stormy Sacks’ band
class.
Parts of the video were filmed
on Hollywood Boulevard and
in the Metro stations before the
students were told the subway
was off limits to filming, said
Joshua Marroquin.
Sophmore Kacey Baughan
wrote and sang the song titled
“Turlock, California.” Kacey
moved here from Turlock to
pursue a lucrative singing career
in Holluwood. The song is
about her hometown. It seems
she is getting off to a good start
by having her own original
song produced with the help
of many of her fellow students
and professionals from Apple
computers.
The video will be entered in a
festival at the Egyptian Theater
in June. Make sure to check it
out on Youtube in the coming
days.
COULD YOU EVER IMAGINE? Sophomore Kacey Baughan,
above, records her song “Turlock, California” aboard the John Lennon Educational Tour Buss, which featured state-of-the-art recording
equoment. Below, Mr. Stormy Sacks and Hollywood High students.
VIDEO PRODUCTION STUDENTS (from left) Alvaro “Gir”
Rodarte, Joshua Marroquin, and Jose Hernandez work on the music
video project inside the John Lennon Educational Tour Bus.
NEWS BRIEFS
THE SUN SETS OVER the Indio Valley, home of the Coachella
Music and Arts Festival.
Music-lovers flock to
Coachella festival
BY LUCY BLAGG
Hipsters and old-timers alike
will be trekking up to Coachella
Valley this month for the legendary Coachella Music and Arts
Festival.
The three-day festival takes
place April 17th to April 19th
and features a line up of over
120 recording artists, including
Paul McCartney, The Killers,
The Cure, M.I.A, Atmosphere,
and Morrissey, to name a few.
The event opens at 11 A.M. each
day and will have many stages
and tents set up throughout the
Empire Polo Fields in Indio
where live music will be playing
continuously from day to night.
Three-day passes for the event
are currently selling for $269
on the Coachella website, while
single-day tickets have sold out.
While it is still possible to find
single-day tickets on websites
other than coachella.com, they
are being sold at considerably
higher prices -- they’ve risen
from $100 to $160 and even
$200.
The Coachella Valley Music
and Arts Festival -- usually
referred to as simply “Coachella”
-- first took place in 1999. After
failing to organize in 2000,
the festival was re-launched
in 2001, and in 2002 concertgoers over the age of 18 were
given permission to camp on the
festival grounds for a fee of $55.
Prominent musicians including Madonna, Prince, the Red
Hot Chili Peppers, Bjork, Lupe
Fiasco, Death Cab for Cutie,
Spank Rock and Rage Against
the Machine have all played the
festival in the past..
The festival is sponsored by
Heineken, AT&T, KROQ, State
Farm Insurance and Playstation.
A percentage of the revenue
from ticket sales is donated to
the Indio Youth Task Force, an
organization dedicated to the
betterment of youth in Indio,
California.
Teachers, District
Settle ContracT
The teacher’s union and the
school district have reached an
agreement that will avoid any
strike. Teachers will get no raise
but they will avoid a pay cut that
the district had proposed, according to Carlos Garcia, UTLA
chapter chair.
“With the agreement reached,
UTLA can now focus on saving
the jobs of our 6,000 members
who received RIF (reduction
in force) notices. There will be
no reprisals for participation in
boycotts,” said Mr. Garcia.
Teachers being laid off will be
suing LAUSD in what is known
as a “class action suit” because
they are being fired without a
reason, Garcia said.
Teachers had been boycotting
after school meetings in protest,
but those boycotts have now
ended, according to UTLA.
-- Leslie Orozco
Recognizing a
Hollywood Mentor
Magnet English teacher Mr.
Bill Goldyn received an honorable mention for his talents
and service to Hollywood High
School at The Bravo Magnet Arts
Awards, held at Disney’s Concert
Hall last month. The award was
for teachers who incorporate arts
into the core curriculum.
“We forget that there has been
research proven that those who
are involved in arts is a way to
improve schools,” said Goldyn.
“There is irony in cutting arts
when its helps them.”
Due to his encouragement of
the visual arts, music, and dance
to the student body, he was
awarded a scroll for his achievements. More than 600 educators,
parents, politicians, and board
members attended the event.
Mr. Goldyn said the event has
changed him as a person, and
that he is happy to know that
people and certain prestigious
establishments appreciate his
work. -- Yenory Chaves
hollywood hosts
annual talent show
April 2nd’s talent show featured twelve acts ranging from
hip hop, to solo singers, to acting
dialogues. The event was held in
the auditorium at 4 p.m. Tickets
were $2 at the door and proceeds
support the Performing Arts
Magnet program.
First, second and third place
winners will receive $100, $50
and $25, respectively, said Leadership Adviser Gracie Quintanilla. -- Yenory Chaves
FEATURES
Mental exhaustion: a
threat to students’ study
habits and health
Feeling tired every
time you step out of
the classroom? You
could be suffering from
mental exhaustion, say
psychological studies.
BY ANTONIO LOPEZ
In a recent study tested in
Britain and published in The
Journal Of Applied Physiology,
scientists and researches hired
ten men and six women. Several
studies were done on them, and
the results were quite shocking. These sixteen men and women
did cardiovascular exercise on
a stationary bicycle until they
were unable to maintain the
60 revolutions per minute that
were required of them. Once
they failed to do so, they were
considered, “exhausted”.
A few days later, these men
and women saw a 90-minute
documentary on cars and trains
and soon after they were asked
to do cardio on the stationary
bicycle. The results? After
having to watch the one and a
half hour documentary, these
men and women became
“exhausted” rather quickly - 15%
more quickly than when they
didn’t watch the documentary.
Before hand, the men and
women were tested to see if
their heart rate had increased
or decreased. The results
showed there was no increase
in their heart rate after they had
watched the documentary. So
in retrospect, mental exhaustion
(after all, who wants to see
a documentary about trains
and cars?) leads to physical
exhaustion. What does all of this mean to
students? Itís really quite simple:
if you’re worried or stressed
about something - it isn’t a good
idea to do any sort of exercise
since your mind’s usage will
make your body feel a lot tired
than it would if you had nothing
on your mind but the physical
activity. On the other hand,
this can lead to several other
conclusions such as possibly a
cure to insomnia. You’ve heard
the advice, “Get your eight hours
of sleep!” but you’ve never
actually followed it. Well, now
you can. Have you had trouble sleeping
and are unable to get a good
night’s rest with school on the
following day? We’ve got a
solution for that: Study. Yes,
that’s right. We’re not joking
at all. According to the results,
if you’re mentally exhausted,
you’re probably going to be
physically exhausted. If you’re
physically exhausted, you’re
more inclined to go to sleep
easier. So, whip out your history
book from your locker and
start reading it as if it were the
solution to all your problems because it is (in a way). Not only
will you perform better in your
history class, but you will also
perform better in school at an
overall level. You won’t be tired,
so you can focus more and be
able to memorize things. If studying sounds just a little
too mentally exhausting for
you, then we’ve got an alternate
solution: Do you like cinnamon?
What about tea? What about
cinnamon tea? According to
a few food labels, cinnamon
blend tea - or the simple smell
of cinnamon --can help increase
your brain activity. If you’re
mentally active for a long period
of time, you’ll be mentally
exhausted in no time - giving you
a good night’s worth of sleep.
Not only that, but for a short
period of time you will be able
to memorize concepts with ease.
That ancient Chinese philosophy
class will sure be a lot easier on
you, and your brain. Whoever thought that the
word, “exhaustion” had a
positive connotation to it? HOLLYWOOD HIGH CLUB MEETINGS
CLUB/ORGANIZATION
CLUB SPONSOR
MEETING TIME
All Student Union
Arat Student Association
AVID
Book Club
CSF
Cheerleaders
Chess Club
Cinema Club
Creative Writing Club
Culture / Language Immersion
Dance Club
Drill Team
Fencing Club
Gay Straight Alliance
Good News Club
Guitar Club
JSA
Junior Class
Key Club
Mabuhay
Senior Class
Teaching Career Academy
Thespians Society
Travel Club
Tree Huggers Club
Vegetarian Club
Young Feminists Club
Mr. Allen
Mr. Garcia
Ms. Fagan / Mr. Jackson
Ms. Wallek
Mr. Hayes
Mr. Yamamoto
Mr. Lee
Mr. Manriquez
Mr. Bah
Ms. Estangui
Mr. Long
Ms. Perez / Ms. King
Mr. Alpert / Mr. Jackson
Ms. Haesoon Lee
Mrs. Wiley / Mr. Frescas
Mr. Benainous
Ms. Brown
Ms. Payne / Ms. Ross/ Ms. Whyn
Mr. Alpert
Ms. Domingo
Ms. Brown/ Ms. Smith
Ms. Bender
Mr. Goldyn
Ms. Potrovitza
Mr. Bah
Ms. Yoon
Ms. Cusolito
508 Lunch – Thurs.
211 Lunch – Thurs.
201 Lunch – Everyday
506 Lunch – Thurs.
129 Lunch Thurs.
Cafeteria 3 PM – Everyday
Library Lunch – Everyday
101 Lunch – Weds.
509 Lunch – Tues.
301A Lunch – Weds.
Dance Studio Lunch – Mon.
103 3 PM – Wednesday
125 – Lunch- Friday
Healthy Start Lunch -- Weds.
208 Lunch – Friday
123A Lunch – Friday
406 Lunch – Monday
506 Lunch – Wednesday
125 Lunch - Monday
221 Lunch – Thursday
502 Lunch – Tuesday
315 Lunch – Wednesday
503 Lunch – Friday
302 Afterschool – Thursday
509 Lunch – Wednesday
505 Lunch - Friday
421 Lunch - Tuesday
THE VIEW FROM HOLLYWOOD
COMMUNITY ADULT SCHOOL
“Not just for adults”
BY JAIME DAVID SILVERMAN
HCAS Teacher
What’s up with Hollywood
Adult School? Many of you
have probably wondered about
that “other” school that shares
your campus with Hollywood
High. Perhaps you know
classmates who’ve taken courses
there. Or maybe you’re still
wondering – what’s it got to do
with me? Well, the answer is:
a lot.
Hollywood Community Adult
School – otherwise known as
HCAS – services both current
high school students and adults.
If you’re still in high school, you
can take classes here to make
up missing credits, erase failed
classes, or even boost that pesky
“D” grade to help you get into
a better college. Likewise, if
you know friends who missed
the graduation deadline and are
just a few credits short, they can
finish up here and receive their
diploma from HHS (within six
months of last attendance), or
graduate with a full diploma
from HCAS. Lastly, if one or
both of your parents need ESL
classes or a high school diploma,
this is the place where they can
get it for almost nothing. For
adults, most classes cost only
$10 (computer lab is $30-to$50). Even better, for current
high school students it’s all free!
(Note: some courses do have a
refundable materials deposit.)
Currently open 12:00–3:30
p.m. and 3:30-7:30 p.m., this
self-paced classroom offers
more than 20 subjects including:
English, U.S. and World History,
Government, Science, Health,
Economics, Life Skills, Career
Planning, and Psychology. Most
students finish their classes in
about two months; however,
depending on your skills,
dedication and, most importantly,
the amount of time you have
available to attend, you can finish
in as little as a four weeks!
But that’s just the tip of what
we offer. There’s a Math Lab,
Computer Lab, and Reading Lab
specializing in those subjects.
A Distance Learning program
where – for certain subjects -you can do your work at home
and come in to take tests. And a
Parent Education class that offers
up to 15 credits in a similar
format.
Got questions? Come to
Room 401 to talk to our helpful
Assistant Principal of Counseling
Services, Darlene Prijatel,
about academic classes. Or, if
your parents need ESL classes,
have them speak to Jill Gluck,
our friendly ESL coordinator.
And, of course, you’re always
welcome to speak with me, Mr.
Silverman. I’m available 12:00 –
3:00 and 3:30–7:30 PM, Monday
through Thursday, in Room 309.
Traumatizing disease
sweeps Hollywood campus
BY EDUARDO UMANA
Have you been feeling kind
of funny lately? Have you been
lazy? Do you find yourself so
lazy that you are not doing most
of your schoolwork and are lacking off in your subjects?
If so, then you may be experiencing the symptoms of Senioritis. Yes ladies and gentlemen,
it is that time of year and our
seniors can feel it. They can feel
how close they are to the graduation at the Hollywood Bowl.
However, because of this, they
feel that they can chill for a bit
and let time just pass by. It starts
off like this: First they stop doing
their work, and say “Ill get back
to it later,” but then as time does
go by, they make this an everyday habit and they never get to
their work. If you feel like you
are infected by such a serious
problem, then listen up closely.
Senioritis is something you
can easily catch, so you may ask
yourself: how can I avoid such a
fatal fate so I can graduate with
good grades?
First of all, do your work and
do not leave it until last minute.
If you seniors get your work
done at first hand then hey you
have all the time you want to be
lazy and still turn in your work
for a superb grade. Secondly,
stay away from seniors who
have recently been affected by
senioritis or are starting to show
symptoms of it, it’s contagious!
Once you see your fellow senior
classmate slack off and be “chill”
your going to want to do the
same thing. So try avoiding them
best as possible and stay away
from places where these seniors
may hang out. Yes, we all know
it made be hard because you
seniors have worked so hard to
get this far and all you guys want
to do know is relax. Sorry to
say, but it is not that easy. So let
this be a lesson to you seniors,
and to the juniors who will soon
become seniors. Juniors learn
from your fellow seniors and try
and prevent the senioritis that is
contaminating the halls of Hollywood High from spreading into
the next following year.
Congratulations!
David Adamyan
Larissa Alvarez Emmanuel Aquino Katherine Aragon Ana Arevalo
Zoljargal Badral Riyadh Bartolome Amir Ben-Harosh
Itzel Flores Castillo
Dora Chavez Narek Chukhuryan
Edgar Contreras Nheil Cueto
Markell Deruso
Xiomara Fuentes
Mynor Gatica Ilse Guardado Jose Hernandez
Roxana Hernandez
Carlos J. Herrera
Nisha Itaque
Brennan Jackson Shalls Jacome
Xue Mei Jin
Leslie Juarez
Harut Khotsuryan
Miguel Larios Keng Eun Lee
Lizette Lepe
Lilit Manukyan Joshua Marroquin Steven Martinez
Jajaira Mayorga
Alejandra Mendez
Bryan Mendez
Natashia Mercado
Ivan Montes
Rykiel Morales
Eliana Ocon
Monica Orantes
Kathy Paredes
Roshni Patel
Elizabeth Perez
Samantha Perez
Victoria Pickett
Carlos Ponce
Kenneth Ramirez
Krystal Ramirez
Diana Recinos
Sheryl Relente
Noel Reyes
Oyuky Rodriguez
Eva Rosales
Diana Sanchez
Nancy Sanchez
Norberto Sanchez
Harut Sepetjyan
Dianne Joy Tan
Adrian Toledo
Gabriella Toledo
Briseida Valencia
Adan Steven Velasquez
Carlos Valiente
UC Riverside, CSU Northridge
Langara University
University of Portland, UCLA, UC Davis, UC Merced
CSU Los Angeles, CSU Chico, CSU Stanislaus
CSU Northridge, San Francisco State University, CSU Los Angeles
UC Irvine, UC San Diego, UC Davis
CSU Los Angeles, CSU Bakersfield, CSU Northridge
UC Santa Barbra, UC Irvine
UC Santa Barbara, UC Santa Cruz, UC Berkley
CSU Northridge, CSU Los Angeles, CSU Fullerton
CSU Northridge, UC Santa Barbara, UC Riverside
CSU Northridge
CSU Los Angeles, Santa Monica College, UC Santa Barbara
UC Merced, Fresno State
CSU Los Angeles
CSU Northridge, CSU Los Angeles
Le Cordon Bleu
CSU Northridge
CSU Los Angeles
CSU Northridge, UC Riverside, UC Irvine, CSU Los Angeles, CSU
Dominguez Hills, CSU Long Beach
CSU Northridge, CSU Los Angeles
UC DAVIS, UCLA, UC Berkley
El Camino College, West LA College, UC San Diego, CSU Los Angeles
Santa Monica College
CSU Monterey Bay, CSU San Francisco, CSU Northridge, CSU
Dominguez Hills
CSU Northridge, CSU Los Angeles, CSU Long Beach
UCLA, UC Davis, UC Santa Barbara, UC Irvine, CSU Northridge, CSU
Los Angeles, University of San Francisco, Occidental
UC San Diego, UC Irvine, UC Davis
UC Santa Cruz, UC Merced, Mt. St. Mary’s, UC Riverside, CSU
Northridge, CSU Los Angeles
Cal Poly Pomona, CSU Northridge, CSU Los Angeles, CSU Long Beach
Monterey Bay, University of Maine, CSU San Francisco
CSU Los Angeles, CSU Northridge
UC Riverside, UC Santa Cruz
UC Santa Cruz, UC Merced
UC Irvine, UC Riverside, UC Santa Cruz, CSU Northridge, CSU Long
Beach
UC San Diego, UC Santa Barbara, UC Davis, UC Irvine
UC Riverside, UC Merced, CSU Northridge
CSU Northridge, CSU Los Angeles
CSU Los Angeles, CSU Northridge
CSU Los Angeles, CSU Northridge
CSU Northridge, CSU Los Angeles, CSU Dominguez Hills
CSU San Jose, CSU San Francisco, CSU Riverside
UCLA, UC Berkley, University of Chicago
CSU Northridge, CSU San Jose, CSU Stanislaus
CSU Los Angeles
CSU Northridge, Brigham Young University
UC Santa Barbara, UC Irvine, UC Riverside, UC Santa Cruz
UC Davis, UC Riverside, CSU San Francisco, CSU Los Angeles, CSU
Northridge
UC San Diego, UC Merced
UC Riverside, UC Santa Cruz, UC Merced
CSU Los Angeles, CSU Northridge
Johnson and Wales, San Francisco State, St. John’s University
UC Merced, UC Riverside
CSU Los Angeles, Glendale Community College
Central College, CSU Los Angeles
UC Davis, UC Riverside, Cal Polytechnic Pomona
UC Santa Barbara, UC Irvine
UC Irvine, UC Merced, UC Davis, UC Riverside
CSU Long Beach, Macalester University
CSU Long Beach, Santa Monica College
UCLA, UC Santa Barbara, UC Irvine, UC Riverside
UC Davis, UC Santa Barbara, UC Santa Cruz, UC Riverside, UC Merced,
CSU Northridge, CSU Fresno, CSU Long Beach
CSU Los Angeles, CSU Northridge, CSU Dominguez Hills, CSU Fresno
The School for
Advanced
Studies
congratulates
the Class of
2009 on their
college
acceptances.
SPORTS
“The Battle of
Sunset Boulevard”
BY ADRIEL VIOLA
HOLLYWOOD HIGH’S SWIM TEAM is all smiles after winning their swim meet against West Adams Prep on March 18th. The team also won yesterday against Santee Education Complex.
After weeks of hard work
and rough training, Hollywood
High’s track team started their
season March 20 with a win for
the girls and a 2nd place against
Roosevelt and Chatsworth High
schools for the boys. The Hollywood team is holding the title of
winning three years straight and
is now determined to continue
their streak on the Southern
League. For the girl’s varsity
team, they are undefeated 24 out
of 25 times.
Last week the boys defeated
West Adams 73 to 54 and the
girls won 101 to 26. Today, they
meet Bernstein High at home in
what is being called the “Battle
of Sunset Boulevard.”
Serving 20 years of coaching
track and field is Coach Loera,
assisted by Coach Lou.
Leading the boy’s varsity team
was Cesar Zelaya who won 1st
place on the 1600 meters with a
time of four minutes and 58 seconds and the 800 meters in two
minutes and 11 seconds leaving
the other teams trailing behind.
The best hurdle runner on the
team, Arthur Papazyan, came in
second place against a 7th place
city finalist of 2008, Julian Leiro,
who barely made it to first place.
After years of experience, high
jumper veteran Earl Tan, jumped
over a height of 5”2”, but unfortunately, raising a new summit of
5”4” ended all attempts leaving
Tan in 4th place. Brimming with
brashness, Earl said, “We are
back to back league champion’s
baby; we are undefeated.”
Leading the girl’s varsity team,
Betty Bosch blazed into first
place in the 100 high hurdles,
followed by Flor Cardenas taking 2nd place photo finish. With
exhaustion, Flor asked, “Did I
win second or third?”
Unfortunately, Starla Oneyeneke, Betty Bosch, Flor Cardenas, and Megan Salazar did not
finish the 400 relays as the baton
was misguided from Betty Bosch
to Starla Oneyeneke. Luckily,
Starla dashed her way into 1st
place on the 100 meters scoring
five points for the girl’s varsity
team.
APRIL sports calendar
Monday
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY
Baseball: Var HHS VS
Santee
JV HHS @ Santee
Swimming: HHS VS Santee/
Bernstein
1
FRIDAY
2
Girls Basketball: HHS @
Bernstein
Boys Volleyball: HHS VS
Elizabeth
3
Track & Field: HHS
VS Bernstein
6
7
8
9
10
13
14
15
16
17
Softball: HHS VS USC
Mast.
Baseball: Var HHS VS West
Adams
JV HHS @ West Adams
20
Girls Basketball: HHS VS
Maywood
Boys Volleyball: HHS @
Maywood
21
Softball: HHS VS orthopedic
Girls Basketball, Boys Volleyball and Baseball: HHS
VS Contreras
27
Softball: HHS VS USC
MAST
Boys Volleyball: HHS VS
Bravo
Baseball: Var HHS Maywood
JV HHS @ Maywood
Softball: HHS VS Annenberg
Baseball: Var HHS VS
L.A. High
JV HHS @ L.A. High
22
Baseball: Var HHS VS
Santee
JV HHS @ Santee
Swimming: HHS VS
Santee/ Bernstein
Track & Field: HHS
VS L.A. high
Track & Field: HHS VS
Santee
Softball: HHS VS Central City
Baseball: Var and JV VS Santee
Swimming: HHS @ Comtreras
28
29
Softball: HHS @ Annenberg
Swimming: HHS VS Bravo
24
23
30
Girls Basketball: HHS VS West
Adams
Boys Volleyball: HHS @ West
Adams
Baseball: Var and JV VS West
Adams
ARTS
STUDENT ART
Can you guess
his age?
One teacher prefers to keep his birthday year a
secret, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out
that he’s not exactly a sprightly young man.
BY BOSTON ALBA
“Who is Mr. Carmicle?” one
may ask. Well, Carmicle is a
School for Advanced Studies
teacher whose anecdotes,
impulsive comments, and
predictable punch lines linger
throughout the Hollywood High
School campus. But what amuses
students is Carmicle’s refusal to
expose his age.
Although it is unknown,
one can easily conceive a
vague approximation of how
old Carmicle is. His advisory
student, Kizzy Dayon says,
“I hate sitting near the door.
Carmicle always makes me open
it.” It happens numerous times
within the advisory period. For
Kizzy and many other students, it
is a cumbersome thing to sit near
the near in his classroom.
While most students leave
Carmicle’s classroom with a
“world-class” education, many of
them carry the burden of sitting
in front of or around him. Tenth
and eleventh graders within his
proximity are often asked to
pass out papers (which Carmicle
never does), pick fallen objects,
and open the door (which needs
to be done correctly for his
satisfaction). His service workers
are often pitied because of the
mountainous loads of work that
they are assigned. He often says,
“When you get this old, there
are always younger people to do
things for you”. It would be a
shame to see Carmicle injure his
back for picking up a pen. It just
isn’t worth it.
Carmicle does however, put
the elevator in the main building
to good use. Because of his age,
plodding up the stairs would be a
constant struggle. One would put
it this way, “It’s just not gonna
happen.” Carmicle decides to
make his life easier by doing
what most senior citizens do:
realize that he cannot do the
impossible. According to some
students, Carmicle has been seen
“trying” to climb up the stairs.
One might as well tell fairy tales.
On Friday March 20, two days
prior to his birthday, a group
of students visited his advisory
to congratulate him with a
homemade cake and cards with
his famous catches phrases such
as, “I’m the Boss Hoss” “I run
this ship” and “You’re on a roll,
not a bagel” written on them.
Excited, Carmicle planned to
share his birthday cake with
students and “possibly” reveal
his age. Later that day, he talked
to his students about celebrating
his birthday alone, eating a cake
with two boxes of single candles
crowned on the surface.
Carmicle’s passion for
teaching English and providing
students with a great education
is unprecedented, but it is a fact
that he is a stationary figure in
the classroom.
DID YOU KNOW...
magnet english teacher bill goldyn and sas biology teacher
manny alas both have a young
son named liam?
Ultimate solution to the high school dropout problem, con’t
(continued from pg 2) those “more fortunate”. There will
be a special room where the long, long list containing
the names of the exiled students, will be stored, and if
anybody in that list even attempts to receive an education
they will be executed; no exceptions. The last thing the
government needs are more delinquents, right?
Students who drop out apparently don’t even want to
receive an education, so we might as well save them
and the government the trouble and avoid the grief of
forcing them to attend school. The children that score low
on this significant proficiency test are obviously going
to be high school dropouts, so why even waste money
buying books, supplies, desks, etc. for them? It’ll only
be a complete loss of valuable money and our economy
cannot afford to spend one penny for ridiculous reasons.
The child will be so utterly grateful that they are being
saved from such misery, and heck; how much better
can they have it? Their entire future would already be
planned out from them. Their only life goal would be
to earn money at least a tad above minimum wage, and
that isn’t even that difficult of a goal, considering the
government is in charge of our salaries anyway.
Happier children will make for a happier future. Since
children with no ambition to receive an education will
be spared of so much classroom boredom, they will
be happier, healthier, and therefore, less of a burden to
our society. It is proved that depression leads to violent
acts but since these kids will be so happy and grateful,
peaceful is all they will be. They can perform all of the
jobs that nobody else wants to do. I’m positive that they
would love to clean after filthy zoo animals, and even
enjoy working in the sewers. Their taxes will aid and
alleviate government expenses; bettering our economic
status. Not to mention, they will be saving millions not
having to waste school funds on ignorant students. In
addition, with these inept students taken care of, the ones
that do pass the proficiency test will enjoy learning with
a smaller group of people, having better supplies, and
less bad influences surrounding their sacred minds. The
way I see it, it’s a win-win situation. Anybody who has
the stupidity to disagree with such a wonderful solution is
bound to be one of the many who fail the proficiency test
and there is no doubt that their children’s name will also
be on the long, long list locked away in that dark, tiny
room. It is more than obvious that my solution will make
sure that no one is left behind!