MT : 9:30 ~5:30 F : 9:30 - The Canadian Jewish News

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4058 Jean Talon West
(514) 875-4800
Weddings Etc.
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THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS
May 21, 2015
My big fat out of the ordinary wedding
Marilyn Lazar
Special to The CJN
D
isclaimer: this story is not about
my wedding at all, but actually my
daughter’s. And therein lie two important messages:
Allow the bride and groom to express
their own vision for the day – it is their wedding, after all.
Also, it’s just a day. The marriage will follow, and on its tail, your lifelong relationship with your new extended family.
Although it is cumbersome and time consuming, it is better to over-communicate
than to risk leaving somebody out of the
fold. Consult and involve your team as much
as possible and hit “reply all” every time.
As mother-of-the-bride (henceforth referred to as MOB), I was entrusted with
translating my daughter’s fairytale vision
into a real-life wedding. In addition to
venue, band and décor, there were some extenuating circumstances to consider - read
diplomatic minefield. Individual though
those circumstances may be, I believe there
are lessons to be gleaned for future brides,
grooms and POCs (parents of couples).
Although traditional weddings and nuclear families are quickly becoming the excep-
tion rather than the rule, our plan entailed
some especially challenging circumstances.
Both the bride’s and the groom’s parents are
divorced. One is remarried with new, grown
stepchildren to consider for the bridal party
and seating. Levels of kashrut ranged from
F r a n c e
B
nil to glatt. Serious illness cast shadow and
doubt on the timing and proceedings. Yet
somehow, we all sat happily together at the
head table.
Only it was not a head table.
Our numbers would have made a head
table unwieldy and we eschewed the formality. We opted for a “family table”, positioned in the centre of the room, not raised,
but delineated only by string lights above
and giant candelabra trees below. This made
us accessible to as many guests as possible.
The table was square which enabled us to
see, communicate and enjoy each other
more easily than a traditional long table
with families organized on either side of
the bride and groom. Another option which
circumvents crowding together a non-homogenous group is the sweetheart table.
Both sets of parents agreed to walk down
the aisle and speak at the podium together,
symbolizing that although no longer married, we were still a team as far as their kids
were concerned.
Much of the beauty and success was
unique to our circumstances. Is there a
teachable nugget here? In summary, I’ll say
this: I did a lot of preparation beforehand
to eliminate as many potential pitfalls as
possible. I considered my own needs, but
weighed them against everybody else’s. I
stated my case, but only when necessary.
And then, I opened my heart to the moment, and the love poured in.
Sometimes out of the ordinary can lead to
extraordinary. n
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THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS May 21, 2015
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MAY 21, 2015
Koenig offers multicultural take on cuisine
ELAINE COHEN
SUPPLEMENTS CO-ORDINATOR
A
ward winning author Leah
Koenig’s new cookbook Modern
Jewish Cooking: Recipes and Customs for Today’s Kitchen is a welcome
addition to every home.
Her first cookbook, The Hadassah Everyday
Cookbook: Daily Meals for the Contemporary Jewish Kitchen was cited for excellence.
Koenig, who resides in New York with
her husband, Yoshie Fruchter, and their
baby, Max, is an active member of the
Jewish community. Her articles have appeared in national publications.
Cognizant of sophisticated culinary
tastes, Koenig researched, tested and presented a wide range of recipes. Her text is
enhanced with Sang An’s photographs.
The hardcover book, distributed by
Raincoast Books in Canada, is especially
suited for newlyweds seeking recipes that
embrace multi-ethnic culinary trends in
keeping with Jewish tradition.
The recipes are easy to follow because
Koenig clarifies each orderly step. Furthermore, ingredients are accessible. The author elaborates on Ashkenazi, Sephardi
and Mizrahi Jewry. She relates anecdotes
from different sources. Furthermore, she
notes basic equipment needed to run an
efficient kitchen. Even veteran chefs will
benefit from tips and notes placed at the
beginning and throughout the book.
The author presents 11 chapters devoted to breakfast choices; salads and
spreads; soups; vegetables; noodles, matzah, grains, and beans; fish, chicken and
meat; vegetarian mains; breads and pastries; cookies, cakes and other sweets; fillings and extras, and the holidays.
Moreover, she considers the timecrunch at breakfast. Homemade apple
and honey granola is perfect for weekdays mornings, whereas orange-scented
cheese blintzes win out for family fare
on weekends. Chicken is ubiquitous, yet
chefs continuously seek colourful, tangy
variations. Moroccan Chicken with Preserved Lemons and Rosemary-Maple
Roast Chicken exemplify the lineup of
delectable dinner-time dishes.
“For many people,” Koenig says, “brisket
is the Proustian madeleine of Jewish cooking....” Although people may be attached
to bubbie’s brisket, Koenig takes pride in a
version rooted in Rome’s Jewish community. Red Wine and Honey Brisket serves as
her “nod” to stracotto.
A series of photographs serve as a boon
to cooks trying to shape hamantashen
and challah. Challah with Sauteed Leeks
and Basic Challah suffice on their own but
topped with Supremely Creamy Hummus,
Matbucha and Chopped Liver offer the ultimate in palate pleasers.
Koenig‘s dairy-free, gluten-free Orange-Glazed Cornmeal Cake is enriched
with nuts and fresh citrus zest and
juice. For those seeking exotic, easy-to
assemble desserts, check out Koenig’s Tahini, Roasted Fig, and Pistachio Sundaes
and/or Maple-Cardamom Roasted Pears.
Rosemary Roasted Garlic
For Challah
❏ 4 heads garlic, unpeeled, tops
trimmed to expose cloves
❏ 4 tsp. extra-virgin olive oil
❏ 2 sprigs fresh rosemary
Preheat oven to 400. Place each head
of garlic on a square of aluminum foil.
Drizzle each with 1 tsp. olive oil and
sprinkle the rosemary leaves evenly
among the four heads. Wrap the garlic
RAINCOAST BOOKS IN CANADA PHOTO
heads tightly in their foil and place in a
small baking dish.
Roast until the cloves are very soft
and lightly browned, 35 to 45 minutes.
Remove from the oven and let cool to
the touch. Serve whole heads of garlic
alongside challah and instruct your
guests to squeeze out the soft cloves
and spread them on their bread. Store,
covered, in the refrigerator for up to two
days. Let it come to room temperature
before using. Yield for two loaves of
challah. ■
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May 21, 2015
Bar/bat mitzvah program
features trip to Israel
e voyage
qu
my magnifi
ELAINE COHEN
Supplements Co-ordinator
W
Make your wedding magnifique.
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More than just a stunning setting, Sofitel offers personal service,
so your wedding will be a delight to the senses that is truly an
occasion to remember.
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follow us on
hether the life cycle event revolves around a couple getting
married or an adolescent being
called up for a bar/bat mitzvah, Rabbi
Boruch Perton, spiritual leader at Congregation Beth Zion, customizes the ceremony and auspicious occasion to complement the celebrant’s personality, strengths
and interests.
“There is always room for individualism
as long as it is kept within the framework
of Jewish law and tradition,” Rabbi Perton
says. He recalls a sentimental wedding
ceremony in which the groom serenaded
the bride under the chupah. Rabbi Perton is currently focused on
an innovative bar/bat mitzvah project at
Congregation Beth Zion, which includes a
free group trip to Israel. Seated in his study at Congregation Beth
Zion, an Orthodox synagogue in Cote St.
Luc, Rabbi Perton relates what sparked
this exciting bar/bat mitzvah program and
action packed trip to Israel. “Our aim at
Beth Zion is to reach out to the entire Jewish community throughout greater Montreal and welcome everyone, regardless of
their level of observance,” he says.
Sharing Rabbi Perton’s desire to attract
a broader demographic, an anonymous
donor offered a generous incentive. Children enrolled in Congregation Beth Zion’s
bar/bat mitzvah program are eligible for a
free trip to Israel in July 2016. Parents are
invited, and they receive a partial subsidy.
Participants called up for bar/bat mitzvah services Saturday mornings between
April 2015 and June 2016 are eligible. In
addition, girls who celebrate their bat
mitzvah at a special service on Sunday
morning during this period are also included. Girls are called up at 12 and boys
at 13.
Beth Zion will hold a Shabbat dinner for
participants to get acquainted before the
trip as well as a follow-up meal upon their
return. The celebrants will also be invited
to address the congregation and to participate in other ongoing activities. Students enrolled in the program constantly confer with Rabbi Perton while
preparing to be called up for their bar/bat
mitzvah. He oversees every aspect of the
diverse program and interacts with teachers.
Formerly educational director at Hebrew
Academy, Rabbi Perton is accustomed to
working with children and parents. He advises families to make arrangements well
ahead.
Students are welcome at every level.
Rabbi Boruch Perton implements innovative
bar/bat mitzvah program at Congregation
Beth Zion. Photo courtesy of Congregation
Beth Zion
One recent participant had no prior Judaic background or knowledge of Hebrew
but she was keen on learning. “I met with
her and discussed the program and now
she reads Hebrew, and volunteers at the
Friendship Circle once a week. She also
volunteered to clip off her hair and donate
it for Locks of Love to furnish wigs for cancer survivors.
“When called up, she will lead a special
service and deliver a speech about the significance of her bat mitzvah.”
The rabbi says that many boys and girls
attend Jewish day schools and are well
versed in Hebrew and Judaic studies. They,
in turn, are enlightened with a stimulating
program.
In Israel, the children will be housed
separately from the parents. For instance,
at Beit Shemiel, the youth will sleep in a
dormitory, whereas the parents will stay at
an adjacent hotel. “I want everyone to enjoy their Israel
experience,” Rabbi Perton says. Plans
include kayaking, hiking, camel riding,
jeep touring in the south, exploring Kotel
tunnels, lunching with soldiers at an army
base, breakfast in the Old City and visiting
Yad Vashem. “My friend, Sheikh Samir Assi of Akko,
has arranged a cultural exchange through
sports in which the Jewish and Arab kids
will play soccer.”
On Rosh Chodesh, the bat mitzvah
participants will hold services with the
Women of the Wall, whereas the bar mitzvah counterpart will pray with the men at
the Wall. n
For details, contact Rabbi Perton at
514-489-8411, ext. 27. THE CANADIAN JEWISH NEWS May 21, 2015
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May 21, 2015
“I do” take your dog (and cat)
Ellen Lechter Green
Special to The CJN
W
hen Casey Shultz moved in with
her boyfriend Stephen three
years ago, she brought along
her bedroom furniture, a sectional couch,
and her two-year-old cat Oreo. A year later
when the couple became engaged, they
decided to add a dog to their little family.
“Everyone thought we were crazy to
take on more responsibility,” says Casey,
31. “Oreo is a great kitty but she has her
quirks. She wakes every morning at 5 a.m.,
she has scratched both arms of my couch,
and she can meow pretty loudly when she
wants something.”
Still, the couple can’t imagine life without her. “Even though Oreo was my cat
first, she adopted Stephen as easily as he
adopted her,” she adds. “I could never be
with someone who isn’t an animal lover.”
Stephen, now 30, grew up with an allergic sibling but knew a dog would also be
in his future one day. “At first Casey wasn’t
sure she wanted a dog because she was
worried about Oreo’s reaction,” he says.
“So we didn’t make the decision to get
Karma lightly.”
The couple did its research and learned how to introduce a dog into a house
that already had an adult cat. Since neither had had a dog before and both were
working full time, they decided to avoid
getting a puppy. Instead, they contacted
a dog rescue agency in Toronto, were
interviewed extensively, filled out the necessary paperwork, and landed up with
Karma, an eight-year-old golden retriever
who had previously lived with a cat.
“So there we were, planning our entire
wedding and having to deal with introducing Karma to her new home,” laughs
Casey. “It wasn’t easy.”
Karma arrived with her own set of quirks
including becoming anxious when left
alone for large periods of time. Luckily,
Stephen can bring her to his office every
day and Casey often meets them on her
lunch break to take Karma for a walk. As
for Oreo’s reaction, it was a non-issue.
“For about a week, Oreo was hissing and
avoiding Karma,” says Casey. “But she
soon realized this is the gentlest sweetest
dog ever. All Karma wants is to give and
receive love, and to know she has a forever
home. When Oreo realized the dog wasn’t
a threat she came around. Now we often
Older dog Karma was adopted while her new
owners were planning a wedding.
find them side by side sleeping on the
couch.”
Planning a wedding and getting a dog
simultaneously isn’t something the couple
would recommend for everyone. “Planning our wedding while getting Karma
was hectic, I’m not going to lie,” she says.
“But the point of getting married was not
about the wedding. And having the dog
and the cat joining our lives together was
ultimately what we wanted. They’re part
of our family and we can’t imagine life
without them.”
Melanie and Paul took in Paul’s father’s
dog after the father had an medical emergency a week after their wedding.
Melanie says she initially had doubts,
“but, someone had to take in his husky
puppy and that someone turned out to be
us,” she says.
“It was kind of like adopting a really active toddler who never listened.”
Her father-in-law was in the hospital for
a month, and when he was released they
all decided the puppy should remain with
Melanie and Paul. “We were so attached
and let’s face it, puppies are a lot of work.
Now Paul’s dad visits his furry ‘grand-pup’
and then gets to leave him here.”
Luckily, Paul grew up with huskies and
knew just how to train the puppy. “It’s
funny but I think he brought us closer
together,” says Melanie. “We spend so
much time walking and playing with Dex.
He accompanies us in the winter when
we cross-country ski and in the summer
when we bike. He’s our sidekick and completes our family.” n
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M
May 21, 2015
Reunion at political event
leads to marriage
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Merle (née Elkin) and Sidney Margles wed June 16, 1963, at Congregation Beth Ora.
Margles family PHOTO
ELAINE COHEN
F
Learn together, pray together, sit together
ormer Quebec Liberal MNA Paul
Gérin-Lajoie may be recognized for
serving as minister of youth as well
as minister of education in the 1960s but
one happily married couple applauds his
appearance at a public meeting as the
launch pad for re-igniting a relationship.
When Sidney Margles first met Merle
(née Elkin) in 1958, he was at McGill University and she was at Sir George Williams
(precursor to Concordia University). They
dated for a while but later went separate
ways to focus on other interests.
Sidney spent time in Boston studying
public relations. As far back as his teens,
Sidney remembers hanging out at CJAD
radio station in Montreal. Addicted to the
broadcast media, Sidney put aside his
studies at McGill and accepted a full-time
job opportunity in 1959 at CJAD. Sidney
was a pioneer at CJAD, broadcasting live
from the scene of air crashes, bombings,
riots, fires and other events. He won numerous awards, the most notable being for
the TCA air crash in Ste. Thérèse in 1963.
When he reconnected with Merle at the
Gérin-Lajoie meeting, Merle was working
full time, and immersed in evening courses at Sir George Williams. Sidney was a
news broadcaster. Merle says the timing
was right. A romance blossomed and by
the fall of 1962, the couple was engaged.
Merle, at 21½, and Sidney, 24, wed on
June 16, 1963, at Congregation Beth Ora.
Their daughter, Susan, was born in 1966,
followed by Elizabeth in 1968, and Melissa
in 1971. Today, Merle and Sidney’s growing
family includes sons-in-law and six grandchildren ranging in age from 11to 18.
In 1974, Standard Broadcast News, formerly parent owner of CJAD, asked Sidney
to head up the company’s news operation,
in Ottawa. Standard Broadcast News serviced more than 100 Canadian radio stations. In 1981, Standard Broadcasting received CRTC approval for a radio station
in Ottawa, and Sidney assumed the helm
as vice-president and general manager.
While in Ottawa, Merle, along with other
parents, lobbied for an all-day kindergarten
at Hillel Academy. Their plea was answered
in time for their youngest child. Merle
re-entered the workforce. In the interim, she
had completed a university degree and had
been involved in the community.
Continued on next page
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In 1984, the family headed back to Montreal, where Sidney presided over Standard
Sound Systems and ran Muzak until 1997.
They re-settled in the Town of Mount Royal and Sidney’s interest in the community
led him to seek municipal office. Subsequently, he was served on the council for
three consecutive terms.
Soon after their return, Sheila Finestone,
then newly elected Liberal MP for Mount
Royal, offered Merle an administrative
position. “We knew each other from projects at Federation CJA,” Merle says.
Merle ran Finestone’s office for 15 years. Finestone served as secretary of state for
multiculturalism and the status of women
in 1993 and was named a senator in 1999,
whereupon Merle retired.
Despite heavy schedules, Merle and Sidney always considered quality time with
family a priority. “We made every effort to sit
down to dinner as a family,” Merle says. Skiing was another cherished family activity.
Merle describes herself as more “reflective” than Sidney. “He’s more analytical.”
Sidney observes they like to travel and
share much in common.
Retirement has been gratifying. In 2003,
the Canadian Communications Foundation commissioned Sidney to chronicle
- for an Internet website - the history of
Canadian news broadcasting. He was inducted into the Canadian Association of
Broadcasters Hall of Fame in 2009.
We made every effort
to sit down to dinner
as a family
In 2005, the empty nesters moved to
Cote St. Luc. They spend winters down
south. They are active in both locales. Sidney served as president of the CSL Senior
Men’s Club for an unprecedented four
years and co-presided for two years over
the Canadian Club at Century Village in
Deerfield Beach, Fla. Two years ago, Cote
St. Luc named him volunteer of the year.
This May, he received the Quebec Lieutenant Governor’s Medal for Volunteer
Services for Seniors. Asked for a tip for marriage longevity,
the couple agree, compromise is key. n
Merle and Sidney Margles enjoy a special occasion with family. Margles family PHOTO
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May 21, 2015
Out-of-town guests savour time to visit Montreal sites
ELAINE COHEN
P
arents often welcome the opportunity to book a long weekend
when they are invited with the children to attend a simchah held during the
summer in Montreal. Instead of rushing in
and out of the city, they are able to spend
quality time as a family exploring scenic
sites, shops and cultural centres.
Furthermore, Montreal is famous for its
diverse international summertime festivals. Here is a sampling of what’s in store
for summer 2015.
Pointe-à-Callière Museum of Archeology and History: Built atop an archeological site located in Old Montreal, the
Pointe-à-Callière Museum is open all year. From May 29-Oct. 25, the museum will
feature an exhibit titled The Aztecs, People
With Sun. Among permanent exhibits and
interpreted tours are Pirates or Privateers,
archeo-adventure workshops and a multimedia show. School-age children participate in re-enacting the world of Montreal
privateer Pierre Le Moyne D’Iberville in
the late 17th and 18th centuries. They learn
the difference between a legitimate privateer and a sea bandit/pirate. For details on
Pointe-à-Callière, Montreal’s History and
Archeology complex visit www.pacmusee.
qc.ca or phone 514-872-9150 for information on how to purchase a pass, which is
accepted at 38 Montreal museums and is
valid for three consecutive days.
IMAX Telus Montreal Science Centre is
located in the heart of the Old Port. Current Imax documentaries in 3D include
Jerusalem; Jean-Michel Cousteau’s Secret
Ocean; and Pandas: The Journey Home.
For information, phone 514-496-4629.
Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, 1380 rue
Sherbrooke Ouest, presents permanent
Pointe-à-Callière Museum of Archeology and History interactive exhibit. Courtesy of Pointe-à-Callière Museum
and temporary exhibits and the complex
boasts a library, theatre, auditorium, restaurant and garden. From May 30-Oct. 18,
sculpture aficionados can feast their eyes
on Metamorphoses in Rodin’s Studio. For
details, phone 514-285-2000 or visit www.
mbam.qc.ca.
McCord Museum, 690 rue Sherbrooke
Est, presents permanent exhibits such as
The First People’s Collection that depicts
the importance of dress in the development and identity of aboriginal communities. Phone 514-398-7100.
Canadian Centre for Architecture (CCA),
1920 rue Baile in downtown Montreal,
serves as an exemplary museum and study
centre devoted to architecture, past and
present. The international research centre
and museum was founded by Phyllis Lambert in 1979 on the conviction that “architecture is a public concern.” The building
was designed by Peter Rose with consulting architect Phyllis Lambert and associate architect Erol Argun in 1989. The CCA
Garden was designed by Montreal architect
Melvin Charney. CCA was integrated with
the historically classified Shaughnessy
House (1874). For information on exhibits
and events, visit www.cca.qc.ca.
The Segal Centre for the Performing
Arts, 5170 chemin Cote Ste. Catherine
is a multi-disciplinary arts institution.
It houses the award-winning Segal Theatre, the Academy of Performing Arts,
CinemaSpace Studio, Dora Wasserman
Yiddish Theatre and much more. Among
upcoming features is a show featuring
Emma Frank’s music on June 7, a musical adaptation of Mordecai Richler’s iconic
novel The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz
from June 7-28, Broadway Cafe on June 8
and The Dybbuk from Aug. 9-27. For information, visit www.segalcentre.org
Montreal Holocaust Memorial Centre
(MHMC), 5151 chemin Cote Ste. Catherine, serves as an eye-opener for people of
all ages and backgrounds. Through guided
tours and exhibits, visitors learn about the
Holocaust and are sensitized to the perils
of prejudice, anti-Semitism, racism, hate
and apathy. MHMC promotes the sanctity
of human life. For information, visit www.
mhmc.ca
Congregation Beth Ora
2600 Badeaux Saint Laurent, Qc
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Christine Jensen at Montreal International Jazz Festival DENIS ALIX photo
Biodome Photo courtesy www.espacepourlavie.ca
Chateau Ramezay Photo courtesy www.chateauramezay.qc.ca
Maison Saint-Gabriel Photo courtesy www.maisonsaint-gabriel.qc.ca
Montreal International Jazz Festival
36th edition will be held from June 26
to July 5 at various venues in downtown
Montreal. The Guinness World Records
rates the Montreal event as the world’s
largest jazz festival. Two-thirds of the
1,000 concerts and activities are free. The
events are presented in 15 concert halls
and on eight outdoor stages in Montreal’s downtown core. Colin James and
Beth Hart are among this year’s featured
performers. For information visit www.
montrealjazzfest.com
Mount Royal Park serves as a nature
lover’s mountain view escape from the
hustle and bustle of the city below. The
urban park was designed in 1876 by Frederick Law Olmstead, also the architect
for Central Park in New York City. The
200-hectare Mount Royal Park and Smith
House are located at 1260 Remembrance
Road. For more information, phone 514843-8240.
Just for Laughs Festival takes place at
venues in Montreal’s downtown core from
July 8-28. The 33rd anniversary festival
welcomes Bill Burr, Kevin Hart, Alonzo
Bodden and many other artists from
around the world. For information, visit
www.hahaha.com
Botanical Gardens, rue 4101 Sherbrooke
Est, provides a floral paradise in the heart
of an urban centre. The Insectarium de
Montreal, 4581 rue Sherbrooke Est, presents exhibitions for all age groups. Special
guided activities and interactive programs
are geared to children. For information on
both places, phone 514-872-1400.
The Biodome, 4777 avenue Pierre de
Coubertin, 514-868-3000, invites visitors
of all ages to tour the facility’s ecosystems
of the Americas, tropical rainforests, Laurentian maple forests, the Gulf of the St.
Lawrence, the Labrador coast and the
Antarctic Islands.
Chateau Ramezay, 280 Notre Dame
Est, relives 500 years of history through
its exhibits. The Governor’s Garden was
built in 1705 as the residence of Claude
de Ramezay, governor of Montreal. Later
the building became an army headquarters and in 1776 Benjamin Franklin paid
an overnight visit. Chateau Ramezay was
designated a national historical site in
1949. For information, phone 514- 8613708 or visit www.chateauramezay.qc.ca
Maison Saint-Gabriel, 2146 Place Dublin
in Pointe Saint Charles, is a 300-year-old
edifice that illustrates aspects of rural life.
Over the years, it has served as a house to
receive the King’s wards, a school, and a
farmhouse. In 1965, Maison Gabriel was
restored, declared a monument of national interest, and transformed into a
museum in 1966. The fieldstone barn was
restored in 1992. Objects dating from the
17th century such as tools, furniture and
paintings are displayed. Permanent and
temporary exhibits plus guided tours are
available. Visit www.maisonsaint-gabriel.
qc.ca. n
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MAY 21, 2015
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Study calendar before setting dates
ELAINE COHEN
A
t first glance, setting a simchah
date seems simple but celebrants
are advised to do their homework
to avoid disappointment. Besides studying Jewish and secular calendars, wise
planners run the date by loved ones, close
friends, clergy, and other principals before
banking on their presence.
Career commitments, university examination deadlines, pre-arranged surgery,
tax time for accountants, busy seasons for
retail merchants, pre-scheduled business
trips are all bound to have an impact on
the final decision.
Furthermore, some couples are so set on
a certain venue or vendor that they defer
the date until learning the respective place
or source is available. Bar mitzvah dates
depend on the Jewish calendar as well as
the date of the child’s birthday. Since both
sides of the family are involved in planning a wedding, the consultation process
is more intense.
In most instances, the celebrants’ circle
of family and friends includes a number
of out-of-towners. Therefore, it pays to flip
through the calendar to figure out which
national and/or international holiday
weekends would work out well. The invitation may serve as an incentive for outof-towners to extend a long holiday week-
Temple Emanu-El-Beth Sholom
will make your special day unforgettable!
end or plan a mini-family vacation
around the date of a function.
For those planning a simchah in
2015, here is a sampling of Jewish
holidays. Check with your synagogue
and spiritual leader to be sure.
No Jewish marriages are permitted during the period of three weeks leading up
and including the Fast of Tisha b’Av. This
period takes place from July 3 to July 26.
Sept. 14 and 15, Rosh Hashanah; Sept. 23,
Yom Kippur; Sept.28-Oct. 4, Sukkot; Oct.
6, Simchat Torah; Dec. 7-14, Chanukah.
Rosh Chodesh, the beginning of a Jewish month is an auspicious date for a
couple to begin their married life together.
Weddings are not held during Shabbat but
M
May 21, 2015
teve
t
ceremonies can be performed after the
conclusion of Sabbath at nightfall.
Tishrei 4-8 represents the 10 days of repentance, therefore, it is customary to
refrain from scheduling weddings during
this period. n
For more information, visit www.chabad.org
M
B17
Marriages made in heaven take place on earth
ELAINE COHEN
I
n biblical times, Jewish fathers governed their unmarried daughters until
marriage. Subsequently, the husband
took over and the bride assumed a matriarchal role bearing children. By the Middle Ages, the respective parties, namely
father of the bride and the groom, signed
an agreement. The wife’s place was in the
home. Girls were betrothed in their early
teens but their partners tended to be older.
The ketubah became recognized as a
legal document to protect the bride. The
bride’s family was obligated to provide
a dowry and the groom was expected to
offer a marriage gift. It was a husband’s
duty to support his wife but part of the
monetary share was put aside as a means
of tiding her over in case he died or abandoned her.
Judith Basken, editor of Jewish Women,
delves into lifestyle modes throughout
history. She notes first cousins or suitable relatives were often considered ideal
mates to retain prosperity within the
family unit plus offer a sense of security
for the bride. In regions such as Syria or
Egypt, marrying outside the family stood
as an opportunity for families to establish
connections and gain powerful alliances.
Authors Sholom Aleichem and Jonathan Safran Foer paint tales of marriages
in central and eastern European shtetls.
Matchmakers assumed an active role arranging them. Women attended to domestic chores, looked after the children,
and contributed to finances by developing
businesses. Hence, their husbands were
able to devote time to study.
By the turn of the century, arranged
marriages were no longer de rigueur, especially among families that had settled
in North America. Many women worked
in factories, replacing men called to the
front during World War II. Otherwise, from
the 1920s to the mid-’60s, a large percentage of the female population were listed
as homemakers. During this era, women
were encouraged to get married in their
early 20s, whereas today women tend to
develop careers, travel and live independently before settling down. Although
women attended university long before
the 1950s, more females pursued college
degrees by the mid-1950s. American feminists Gloria Steinem, Germaine Greer and
Shutterstock photo
Betty Friedan were among the early proponents behind the women’s liberation
movement in the 1960s. By the ’70s, the
pendulum had swung and women were
encouraged to carve out careers and work
outside the home.
Pre-1970, a high proportion of women
resided with their families before marriage. Some families continue to respect
these rules, but for the most part society
recognizes an adult’s choice.
Although the “pink ceiling” prevails,
more women have attained distinguished
positions and entered legal and medical professions than ever before. Women
in Quebec retain their full family name
after marriage, whereas years ago they
automatically assumed the husband’s
surname. North American women pursue
careers, and spouses share domestic duties and child rearing commitments.
The Internet and social media serve as
a medium for meeting future mates. In
addition, people continue to meet through
attending activities run by schools, synagogues, charitable organizations, sports
and cultural centres. They are also introduced through friends and colleagues. As
for Yenta the Matchmaker, an impressive
fictional icon, don’t rule her out. Modern
day matchmakers may use modern means
but with a little luck achieve results. n
B18
M
May 21, 2015
Cheryl Besner’s brainchild blossoms: Solo in the City
ELAINE COHEN
W
hen Cheryl Besner and her husband of 25 years parted 4½ years
ago, the Westmount mother of
three set out on a personal venture. Carefully surveying the singles scene, Besner
discovered a labyrinth of dating venues
but sensed the need for an inclusive site
with a personal touch.
“I wanted to create a hub for people,” she
said. “We use experts in life to help us in
every aspect of our health and education
but when it comes to guiding us through
dating sites, we lack expert guidance.”
Besner’s background in branding and
her inherent flair for making connections
stood her in good stead. Formerly in the
fashion industry, Besner gravitated to
planning high profile events and fundraisers, such as the Angel’s Ball for the Jewish
General Hospital. After a year of blogging on 365daystofindlove.com, attending international
conferences, achieving certification as a
dating coach through the International
Dating Coach Association, addressing
audiences through the media and at
events, Besner was ready to carve her
niche. She credits clinical psychologist
and sex therapist Laurie Betito, as the
catalyst behind her venture. Besner is on
the panel of the Friday edition of Betito’s
CJAD 800 radio show Passion.
Fast forward to 2015 and Besner’s brainchild, Solo in the City (solointhecity.tv), a
multi-platform website is booming. The
comprehensive site motivates singles to
get out and network. “It’s important to
devote one night a week to being social
and interacting with people. That’s taking
the dating site concept to another level.”
Besner prefers the term “solo” to single. Even people with partners do things
alone, whether it’s taking a course or attending a meeting, she says.
The website solointhecity.tv includes
KISS (Keep It Simple and Social), a calendar of monthly meetups and events in
the city, videos, podcasts, a dating site,
services, dating tips and blogs. Except for
consultations and a fee to become a member of the dating site, visitors can access
practically everything. A sampling of April
KISS listings included a Passover dinner,
“Butterflies are Free” at the Montreal Botanical Gardens and Les Grandes Ballet’s
Anna Karenina. As for guidance, Besner addresses topics
such as the ABC’s of finding Mr. Right
and dating tips for men, and she provides a triple A list related to successful
dating. The key words are “attention,
attraction and affection.”
If you succeed in getting attention
and retaining the attraction, then it’s
up to you to decide if the affection is
strong enough to make a full commitment. On a personal note, Besner alludes to a “brief relationship”
she had a couple of years after her
separation. “We were dating but
weren’t at the same place. He wanted something more permanent but I
wasn’t ready to make a commitment.” Her target market is 35-to-55-year-olds
but she is averse to pigeonholing people
according to age.
Besner is cautious about venturing out
of her realm. “I’m a dating coach not a
psychologist or a therapist.” If warranted,
she will direct people to seek professional
help.
Solo in the City is constantly broadening
its scope. Since March 21, Besner and Dan
Delmar co-host Solo in the City on CJAD
Cheryl Besner
Solointhecity.tv
Photo
800 at 10 p.m. every Saturday. The radio
show features guests and discussions.
“Dan is a 30-year-old bachelor, and I’m in
my early 50s with two children in their 20s
and a teenage son,” Besner says. “We may
look at things from a different perspective
and that’s of interest to our audience.”
The founding president of Solo in the
City, Besner refers to herself as the Montreal socialista. She takes pride in her
team, which includes Toronto socialista
Lisa Fuoco. n
M
B19
Nothing more romantic than coming home, say olim
Jennifer Tzivia MacLeod
Special to the CJN
T
here’s no place like home to celebrate an anniversary, but for the
many Canadians living in Israel
(25,000 according to estimates), Israel
has become home – and a place to find
and establish new anniversary traditions.
Or, in the case of my husband and I, who
made aliyah with our two youngest kids, a
place where an anniversary can fall by the
wayside in the overwhelming “balagan” of
establishing a new life.
It wasn’t supposed to be that way. The
Hebrew date of our wedding anniversary
falls on the second day of the month of
Shvat, easy to remember because schools
and kindergartens are gearing up for Tu
b’Shvat. Still, the date came and went, and
nothing happened.
With our move here, we lost our free
babysitters back in Toronto. But it’s not
just about the money. It is more about
finding someone we trust to babysit.
“We probably won’t be celebrating it officially this year,” says my friend Rachel,
who also moved to Israel, leaving behind
in-laws who babysat.
Northern Israel Dafna Tal photo
That’s always been our default anniversary celebration, too – the dinner-date,
maybe with a movie. With four children
and busy lives, it’s always been very special to just take an evening off.
Rachel is more philosophical than I am.
“The romantic… part for us is that we’re
alive; we didn’t kill each other.” She’s only
half-joking. “When you look back over
what you’ve done… you’ve moved to Israel with a spouse. The fact that we’re still
together, speaking to each other, loving
each other deeply… it’s very powerful.”
Veteran Toronto oleh Stephen Epstein,
who made aliyah in 2005 with his wife
Alison and two young children, used a
special anniversary and milestone birthday in November 2012 as an excuse to
join in the Israeli national obsession and
travel to Asia, in their case, to India with
their daughters. “Israelis love to travel,”
Stephen says. “In Canada, one can drive
1,000 miles to reach the Manitoba border.
Here it takes less than two hours to get to
the end of kvish sheish.” [Highway Six – a
new road connecting northern Israel with
the centre of the country].
A highlight of the visit for Stephen
and Alison was a trip to the Elijah Rock,
thought to be the location of a visit from
Elijah the Prophet, considered sacred by
both Bene Israel Jews and local Hindus.
For newer olim, like Rachel and myself,
with travel generally made impossible by
young children, ulpan studies, or renting
an apartment, we have to find our romance in less grand gestures.
“One of the things we do every anniversary,” Rachel told me, “is we review the
last year, how have we done, how we are
as a couple. We look back at what we’ve
been through and where we are now. This
past year, we returned to Israel. We were
married in Israel, had intense experiences in Israel… and now we’ve brought our
family back home.”
I look at my husband, across the table
here on a Sunday morning workday in
our tiny Haifa apartment, listening to the
traffic and birds chirping outside, seeing
the gently warm sunlight, and realize –
we’re home.
There’s no candle in the middle of this
table, no glatt kosher meal served by waiters, and soon enough, we’ll have to go pick
up our kids from school. But in the meantime, we don’t need to go anywhere else or
do anything else. We have given ourselves
the ultimate anniversary present this year.
After two millennia, there’s nothing more
romantic than coming home. n
Un mariage Shaar
Un grand rêve à votre portée
Breathtakingly beautiful. Surprisingly affordable.
Nothing compares to a Shaar wedding.
Contactez-nous à propos de nos forfaits personnalisés
de soirée en semaine.
Venez fêter votre soirée du henné chez nous.
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M
B21
Fifty-plus population engage in family simchahs
ELAINE COHEN
A
fter the dignified bridal couple
took their vows under the chupah,
the poised groom lifted his left
foot and without any assistance shattered
the glass. Although this custom is common practice at the completion of every
Jewish wedding ceremony, for this groom
it marked a significant achievement.
Before engaging in a balance training
program at the Wellness Centre, the astute
83-year-old lacked the agility, balance and
stamina to perform this ritual. However, like many younger members
of Cummings Centre, 5700 Westbury Ave.,
he turned to a Wellness Centre customized program for help. The first step involved a comprehensive assessment with
one of the centre’s trained kinesiologists,
who subsequently designed a program
tailored to meet his needs.
The key to maximizing agility, balance,
bone and muscle strength, as well as reduce stress, is to choose an individual or
group program of interest and follow it
through, says Wellness Centre co-program
manager, Annette Vézina, a clinical exer-
cise physiologist. Throughout the years, Vézina has witnessed people in their 20s and 30s neglect
themselves because they are so preoccupied with building careers and raising
families. They may get away with it for
a decade or so but gradually they lose
strength and may develop problems that
interfere with their daily routine.
The Wellness Centre caters to the 50plus community, and Vézina, along with
co-manager Maria Fragapane and the
entire Cummings team, offers numerous multi-faceted individual and group
programs for active 50-year-old business
people as well as early retirees, part-time
career people and seasoned retirees.
“Our gym program caters to a younger
clientele,” Vézina said. “We have elliptical
equipment and functional trainers on the
floor that work core balance and strength
simultaneously.”
A vigorous full body workout for a
51-year-old may differ from a drum and
dance class to meet another need. Nevertheless, she reserves praise for a number
of members in their 80s, who have worked
out for over 18 years. Their endurance is
remarkable, she says.
Exercise enthusiasts gear up for family
simchahs. Photo courtesy of Cummings Centre
Among the variety of wellness-oriented
activities at Cummings are hiking clubs,
day trips, brain booster workshops, diverse aerobics programs , dance, yoga,
Pilates, aqua fitness, boxing, muscular
conditioning classes, as well as adapted
programs geared to members recovering
from surgery or adjusting to life with longer-term conditions.
“Muscle loss starts at age 30 so by 50
there is quite a difference, and by the 60s,
things start happening.”
She says people are invariably motivated
when they set short-term goals and witness positive results.
“Don’t say, ‘I’ll wait to begin until a few
Zion wishes the Jewish community
weeks before an occasion or trip,’ and expect immediate results because it doesn’t
happen overnight.” Although there is no magic cure, pain
management can be improved through
exercise and, if necessary, medication
prescribed by a physician. “By gaining
stamina, it’s possible to endure pain better because a lot of muscular conditions
build up base endurance and strength.
The long-term objective is better health
to enjoy more quality years. Adhere to a
steady routine but practice moderation.
At Cummings, if members want to start
a class, we offer them lots of choice and
guide them all the way.”
Regardless of fitness level, it is important
to remain active and involved in family
and community life at every stage, Vézina
insists. Life-cycle events and holidays are
constant, therefore, parents and grandparents have good reason to set short term
goals. Every movement counts, whether it’s being present at a grandchild’s bar
mitzvah, participating in a family wedding
procession, wheeling a grandchild’s stroller through the park, or getting in and out
of an automobile. Vézina is pleased to respond to calls at 514-342-1234, ext. 7305. n
B22
M
May 21, 2015
Ceremony, celebration
and honeymoon all in one
Ellen Lechter Green
Special to The CJN
D
estination weddings are growing in
popularity and it’s easy to understand why. The chance to say ‘I do’
on a beach at sunset or on top of a cliff
overlooking the ocean obviously has its
appeal.
“I wanted to exchange our vows in a
stunning location,” says Marlee Nathan,
33, who married her husband Matthew
in the Bahamas this past winter. “I envisioned us on a white sand beach, the
ocean close by.”
Nathan wore a simple chiffon wedding
dress with a floral one-shoulder strap. Her
groom wore a sports shirt and off-white
linen pants. Neither wore shoes. “I didn’t
want to get caught up in planning one of
those affairs that grows bigger with every
day you plan it,” she says.
“Matt and I have very small families so
we were able to keep the guest list small.
We only invited family and our closest
friends.”
Forever
Weddings
For beautiful makeup and hair
on your most special day in our
studio or on location
(at home, in synagogue, or at the hotel)
Wedding packages can be intimate or
grand, depending on your vision and
budget. Many resorts offer packages that
range from accommodating large affairs in luxurious reception halls to casual beach parties, which is what Nathan
chose. Typically, a destination wedding
will be less expensive for the couple because guests often pay for their own travel
and accommodations.
“We were lucky. All our guests were able
to celebrate with us,” says Nathan. “We
said our vows and celebrated with them in
an informal way over a span of a few days
instead of just one.”
Of course, not every destination wedding is held on a tropical island. Popular
locations include Europe, cruises, and
even Disney World.
“Since our wedding coincided with
spring vacation in March, we reserved
blocks of rooms months ahead of time
and we were able to receive a discounted
rate for our guests.”
Nathan suggests sending save-the-date
cards with airport, accommodation and
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The ideal location for the couple’s sunset ceremony took place right on the beach.
other necessary details. If possible, it’s
also a good idea to check out the location
prior to booking. “We weren’t able to visit
the resort ahead of time but we were able
to see many photos as well as videos of
wedding packages they offered,” she said.
She also suggests determining a tentative head count before making a down
payment. “Since we didn’t invite many
guests, it wasn’t hard to establish attendance from an early date,” she says.
“And by booking far in advance, we were
able to get our first choice of resort and
venue. Friends of ours decided to marry in
the Caribbean at the last minute and they
really had to scrounge around to find the
resort that could accommodate them.”
As well, be sure to research local marriage requirements thoroughly before settling on a location and make sure to apply
for or renew your passport before your
trip. By planning carefully in advance,
you can concentrate on what’s important
on the big day.
“Our wedding was everything we
dreamed of, and more,” she says. “It was
both a wedding and honeymoon in one.
It was also a unique opportunity for us to
create memories with our loved ones that
we will cherish forever.” n
M
B23
Grooms put best foot
forward in classic shoes
Anita Szabadi-Gottesman
Special to The CJN
T
he groom’s shoe choice on his
wedding day punctuates his sense
of style, whether wearing a classic
tuxedo or fashion forward suit. It is important to put his best foot forward as he
walks down the aisle, and there are many
options.
For a more casual beach-side or rustic
wedding, a leather loafer or boat shoe
would perfectly offset a pair of khakis or
Bermuda shorts. For the groom choosing
the classic tuxedo and bow tie, the appropriate choice in shoewear reflects not only
his personality but finishes off the look.
Stick with a lace up or slip on, focusing on
comfort and support. Black remains the
colour of choice. Navy blue leather adds
a bit of panache or the groom may bring
out his whimsical side with a pair of blue
suede shoes.
Giving a nod to the bride in her white
gown, some grooms will go with all white
leather shoes or Lacoste’s combination of
a black base and white top. Prada has designed a black shoe with white flower detail. Many other top-shelf designers have
included wedding shoes in their 2015 collections. Jimmy Choo highlights a comfortable slip-on black glitter shoe to ramp
up the groom’s style.
Look for a non-skid sole to avoid slipping on the dance floor. The sole should
be stitched rather than glued and be at
least ¼-in. thick. The groom can show
some of his unique style with a classic black shoe sporting a coloured sole
matching the wedding décor. Cole Haan
features a classic black lace up with a hot
pink sole and matching pink laces.
Standing the test of fashion time is the
black patent leather shoe. This elegant
shoe features a high gloss finish that
punches up the look for the day. Black
patent is durable and very easy to keep
clean. A damp cloth and mild soap is all
that’s needed to wipe off dust or dirt.
Finding the right shoe with the right fit
requires the services of a seasoned shoe
salesman. Shop specialty stores that have
Black patent leather shoes remain a classic choice for the groom on his wedding day.
Anita Szabadi-Gottesman Photo
a solid reputation in the shoe business.
A good pair of shoes generally falls into
a higher category price point but with
proper care will last the wearer for decades. Purchase a pair of cedar shoe trees
to properly store your shoes.
GQ Magazine provides the following tips
for shoe care:
Place cedar shoe trees in shoes after
each wear to soak up sweat and odours.
Patisserie Irisistible Par Loutati
3855 Boul Decarie
Montreal, QC
H4A 3J6
514- 488-8500
Purchase two sets of laces and replace
as needed so that shoes never look ratty
or sloppy.
Wipe shoes down after each wear paying
careful attention to salt or other stains.
Use high-quality replacement soles and
don’t wait too long to re-sole as some
damage is irreversible.
Store shoes away from any heat source
so the leather will not dry out. n
Patisserie “Irisistible” Par Loutati opened its doors this past
March with its first location on Decarie Boulevard in NDG in
our beautiful city of Montreal. It was named after the owner,
Iris Loutati. Although this is the first shop of its kind, Iris has
previously owned with her late husband, Prosper Loutati
z”l, “Tradition Catering” and “Exception Boutiques” for over
20 years. Furthermore, she has taken with her all that she
has learned to love and injected it into this new venture. The
shop’s intimate environment and superior product is quickly
becoming a favorite in the Montreal community. Patisserie
“Irisistible” is a charming pastry shop specializing in traditional
and signature French Pastries. Take a step into their lovely
shop and be dazzled by an overwhelming array of French
special occasion cakes (including wedding cakes), individual
pastries, viennoiseries, chocolates and a large array of
macarons that are made daily, on premise. Moreover, all the
products are Kosher Pareve, which are products without dairy
or meat ingredients. There are a wide variety of gluten free
products as well. They also offer an outstanding selection of
espresso, coffee and lunch items daily, consisting of fresh,
made to order salads, sandwiches and soups. On Sundays,
they serve a Mediterranean breakfast that will be available
to order all day. They look forward to impress your palettes!
Patisserie Irisistible
Par Loutati
3855 Boul Decarie
Montreal, QC H4A 3J6
514- 488-8500
Patisserie “Irisistible” Par Loutati opened its doors this past March with its first
B24
M
May 21, 2015
Cuff shirts with cufflinks for groom and groomsmen
Anita Szabadi-Gottesman
Special to The CJN
F
ormal tuxedo dressing requires
a French cuff white shirt for the
groom, best man and groomsmen.
The French cuff shirt was designed more
than 100 years ago with long cuffs that
could be folded over and made shorter
for the wearer.
Most often a working man, he adjusted
the shirt to the appropriate length securing it with laces or string as the precursor
to the cufflink.
With the arrival of the button cuff shirt,
the French cuff lost favour with the working classes. The unique design of the
French cuff shirt has however stood the
test of time, having garnered a new place
from its modest beginnings.
Over the last century, the shirt gained
traction with the upper classes of the
United Kingdom and France including
England’s Duke of Windsor. It was reborn as an elegant shirt to be worn and
adorned with cufflinks most often for
special occasions.
While some men choose to wear shirts
with cufflinks for office wear, French cuff
Whimsical cufflink design choices, such as the sailboats pictured left, reflect the groom’s
personality or interests. Monogrammed cufflinks as a special gift from the bride to her groom
add meaning to the wedding day. Anita Szabadi-Gottesman PHOTOs
shirts are the preferred pairing with a formal tuxedo.
Cufflinks are another stylized accessory in a man’s wardrobe that define
his style and reflect his personality. The
vintage silk knot is a good place to start
for business attire but for the groom and
his wedding party, it’s fun to ramp it up.
Structured with a pivot closure on a chain
or stationary arm, the possibilities are
seemingly endless for material, colour
and design.
Materials include crystal, often featuring Swarovski elements, mother-of-pearl,
Murano glass and an array of colourful
gemstones and more set on a stainless
steel, sterling silver or karat gold base.
They can be personalized to include the
grooms’ monogrammed initials.
For the groom wanting to add a bit of
panache to his formal outfit, he can express himself with a pair of cufflinks that
reflect his favourite sports team or pastime.
The range of cufflinks in the marketplace run from novelty styles in cigarshaped cufflinks and golf ball and clubs
to simple round or square classically inspired choices.
As a thoughtful nod to his bride, the
groom may choose a pair of floral cufflinks to match her bouquet.
While most department stores and
specialty jewellers carry a selection of
cufflinks, one-of-a-kind designs can be
custom made or found on line through
individual designers or on collective sites
such as Etsy.
Cufflinks to wear on his wedding day,
chosen and offered as a gift by his brideto-be, add special meaning to the day. n
MAY 21, 2015
M
B25
Beauty editor turns health coach and shares findings
ELAINE COHEN
SUPPLEMENTS CO-ORDINATOR
Y
ou are what you eat has become
the mantra for health-conscious
consumers in the 21st century.
The proliferation of beauty products,
miracle diets and makeover concepts is
mind boggling. Therefore, it is refreshing
to discover Philadelphia author Jolene
Hart’s simplified holistic approach to diet
and exercise. Hart equates beauty with
overall wellness.
Eat Pretty: Nutrition for Beauty Inside
and Out is a 208-page succinct, reader-friendly pocket guide that informs
without promoting pricey products or
presenting hypothetical success stories.
Distributed by Raincoast Books in Canada, Eat Pretty includes nine chapters
highlighting beauty betrayers, beauty
nutrition 101, a beautiful kitchen, and
chapters covering spring, summer, autumn and winter seasonal choices, and
beauty beyond the dinner plate.
The information applies to women in
all age and interest groups. It is particularly timely for people appearing in the
spotlight at events, such as weddings.
The bride, her mother and other partici-
pants in the ceremonial procession will
no doubt devote time and effort to looking their best. To ensure a neat presence,
they are most likely to gear up for the occasion several weeks ahead. Therefore,
they are bound to garner tips from reading Eat Pretty.
Hart started off as a journalist and
beauty editor, and throughout the years
her work has been published in People,
Allure, Organic Spa, Prevention and InStyle magazines.
The nature of her profession presented
opportunity to sample distinguished
beauty products. Nevertheless, she
failed to achieve optimum results until
she adopted a wholesome approach to
beauty, diet and exercise. Certified by the
Institute for Integrative Nutrition and the
American Association of Drugless Practitioners, Hart is determined to provide
women with the tools to create a unique,
healthy lifestyle of beauty.
Eat Pretty zeroes in on 85 accessible
everyday foods paired with specific
glow-getting benefits. The author clarifies buzzwords such as antioxidants, biotin, and omega-3s without resorting to
medical jargon. She provides beauty tips
and recipes apropos for every season.
The information applies
to women in all age and
interest groups
In addition, Hart notes breathing and
meditation exercises to relax muscles
and boost circulation. Conversely, she
targets sugar, processed foods and alcohol as “beauty betrayers” that set people
up for emotional eating. A proponent
of beauty sleep, Hart shuns “sleep saboteurs” such as after dinner caffeine-laden
stimulants and blue lights coming from
laptop or other digital devices. Warm
milk and bananas will boost health and
satisfy bedtime hunger, she says, whereas
dark chocolate and alcoholic beverages
add useless calories. Addressing individuals who fret over things when it’s time to
go to sleep, Hart suggests adding jottings
to a notebook and keeping the notebook
out of the bedroom. Instead, relax in a
warm bath and then hop into a comfortable bed.
A sampling of items that rank high on
Hart’s list, include apples, carrots, celery,
radishes, raspberries, and walnuts.
Hart advocates walnuts as a supple skin
snack. “Raw walnuts are full of beautifying fat, protein, and minerals that guard
our skin and hair against harsh dry winter weather. Just one ounce of walnuts
has more antioxidants than the average
person consumes in a day.” ■
B26
M
May 21, 2015
Blind date number 3 is a keeper
Shirley Kellerstein
Special to The CJN
J
oe was my blind date number 3. I
was his blind date number 10. His
four-year relationship had come
to an end one month before the planned
wedding and he was now having a wonderful time with his new bachelorhood.
I had been living in Israel for two years
and was now home for the summer holidays. I was making arrangements to have
what I would need shipped to Israel.
That’s where I planned to spend the rest
of my life.
It was July of 1980. My mother, may
she rest in peace, had missed me terribly
while I was gone and got it into her head
that if I fell in love, I would stay in Toronto.
She used to play cards with all the other
“greenes” at Earl Bales Park and she let
everyone there know the situation. She
asked their help to find a man for me. I
chuckled at the idea of “being peddled in
the park” and indulged her. I had no intention of staying here, but I couldn’t be
with my friends every evening and had
no problem with the idea of a pleasant
evening out.
Before Joe was supposed to pick me up,
blind date number 4 had called. He was
so obnoxious on the phone that I refused
to go out with him. When Joe called to
say he was delayed and if I preferred, we
could go out another time, my answer
was, “No, let’s get this done and over
with.” I let Mom know that I would not
go out on any more blind dates.
From the very beginning there was a
level of comfort I had never experienced
with another man. Joe didn’t have a car,
and we walked to a local restaurant for
coffee. It was like we had known each
other all our lives. We met at the end of
July and we spent as much time together
as possible. We had a wonderful time.
The day before I was scheduled to leave,
Joe told me he loved me and would wait
for me to come back. He gave me a lovely
bracelet. He also gave me a letter to read
after I left. I was shocked, and answered
that he was a good guy but my life was
in Israel and I wasn’t going to change my
plans for a man.
I wasn’t going to
change my plans
for a man
Shirley and Joe on their wedding day
That evening, at my going away party,
all I could think about was Joe’s declaration. On the plane, I opened his letter
which I almost couldn’t read, his handwriting was so bad. But I did manage to
make most of it out and he reiterated
what he had told me. Joe was, and is, the
romantic in our relationship.
Back in Israel, I realized how much
I missed Joe. When I confided in my
dear friend, Sonya, she told me, “You’re
crazy. Israel will always be here for you.
Joe won’t always be waiting.” Two weeks
after my return to Israel, I phoned Joe
and asked him if he wanted me to come
home. His answer was, “Go for it.”
We were engaged on Remembrance
Day, about a month after my return.
We have celebrated our 33nd anniversary and to this day I thank Sonya for her
wise advice, and Mom for “peddling me
in the park”.
The Wedding
The wedding date was July 1, 1981.
During the two years I was in Israel, I
lived a very simple and pared down life.
The thought of a formal wedding did
not appeal to me at all. I wanted a party
– a celebration that included our closest
friends and family. When Sara, my older
sister, offered her home for a backyard
wedding, it seemed perfect.
My parents vetoed the idea, feeling that
they could not have a small wedding and
exclude some of their friends and “landsmen”. After quite a bit of conflict, Sara
once again came through for me. She
somehow convinced my parents that a
backyard wedding could be elegant.
Looking back, I am shocked at how uninvolved I was in the planning. I had an
idea of what I wanted, and it didn’t really
occur to me until my own sons’ bar mitzvahs how much effort was involved. My
father chose the invitations. Sara, knowing what I wanted, planned the whole
wedding, insisting on my approval of all
the details.
Continued on next page
M
B27
The party was
intimate, wonderful,
totally spontaneous
and fun
ing dresses or suits. The guests were either
standing around the chupah or seated at
the tables which had been rented for the
older people.
My parents led me to the chupah through
the crowd. We had a violinist and accordionist play at the wedding and party. I
chuckle at some of the things I remember.
The only guests I didn’t recognize were a
close friend of Joe’s who had come in from
Ottawa with his fiancée, and the backyard
neighbours who were standing on their
deck, drinking beer and watching the ceremony. For me, the ceremony was perfect.
After our required time alone, Joe and I
returned to the crowd. The three speeches
were made while everyone was still in the
backyard – my father’s, my brother who
gave the toast to the bride, and of course,
Joe’s.
After that, the party began. The chupah
had been called for 7:30 p.m. It was going
to be a cocktail party. The caterer, realizing that “greenes” would be there, said
that hors d’oeuvres alone would not be
enough, so we also had two carving stations. We later had a beautiful dessert table
set up in the dining room and, of course,
unlimited booze.
The party was intimate, wonderful,
totally spontaneous and fun. The musicians roamed, playing different music depending on the crowd. My friends broke
into dance on the patio. Later in the evening when my parents and their friends
went down to the basement they sang Yiddish songs accompanied by the musicians.
There were people in every room of the
house and our guests moved easily from
room to room, from outside to in, mingling, talking and laughing. The last guests
left after 2 a.m. n
Shirley and Joe today
Publication: Canadian Jewish News
and figured that between the living room,
dining room and basement there would be
enough space.
Our wedding was perfect. The chupah,
on the backyard patio was held by Joe’s
brother, my brother and Joe’s two closest
friends. Sara was my matron of honour.
Daphna, my youngest niece was my flower
girl. There was no colour scheme and I
didn’t care if the attendants wore match-
Fine watches and jewels since 1946
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The day dawned dark and gloomy. Joe
had to go up to Sara’s house twice to help
move the tables and chairs: The first time,
downstairs to the basement because it
was raining, the second time, back out
to the backyard because it seemed the
sun had come out to stay. Including ourselves, there would be 100 people there
that night.
Sara had accounted for the bad weather
B28
M
Dreams Come True
Share your wedding day with
Sheraton Montreal Airport Hotel
and your honeymoon is on us.
Guest Accommodations
= Free Night Awards
Enjoy special touches and share once-in-a-lifetime
memories with friends and family. Book your dream
wedding with us and earn Starpoints® which can
be used immediately to plan your honeymoon.
Sheraton is where people gather so we welcome
your wedding guests to join us overnight. Allow us
to set aside a group of rooms at a special rate just
for your friends and family. This includes:
• Earn up to 100,000 bonus Starpoints®
One Starpoint for every $1 of your wedding
contract to be provided at time of reservation.
You can apply Free Night Awards at more than
1,100 Starwood hotels and resorts worldwide.
• Convenient web link for an easy guest room
booking experience
• Overnight accommodations for the bridal couple
on the wedding night
• The wedding couple earns 5,000 bonus Starpoints
for every 10 guest rooms used
• Sparkling toast during the wedding reception
For more information contact
Angela Torti, Wedding Specialist: 514.828.4250
angela.torti@sheratonmontrealairport.com
• Kosher catering services by Traiteur Renaissance available
• Wedding guests earn standard Starwood
Preferred Guest® Starpoint awards for their stay
sheratonmontrealairport.com/weddings-in-montreal
Membership in the Starwood Preferred Guest® program is required to receive Starpoints. Join for free at SPG.com. ©2015 Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Preferred Guest, SPG,
Sheraton and their logos are the trademarks of Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide, Inc., or its affiliates.
May 21, 2015

MT : 9:30 ~5:30 F : 9:30 - The Canadian Jewish News

Transcription

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