PAST_ISSUES_files/IONAZ September 111 iPad

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PAST_ISSUES_files/IONAZ September 111 iPad
September 2010
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MORE PICTURES AT IONA Z.COM
SPLASH BASH 11
Photos by Richard Bolinski
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Welcome
to Beautiful Arizona!
Whether you are going to college
in Arizona, coming back from traveling the globe, an early Snow Bird,
or just coming out of the proverbial
summer hibernation, welcome
back! We are glad you’re here! Use
ION Arizona as your guide to all the
of great events happening now that
the weather is slowly cooling off
(relatively speaking, of course).
Nightlife Guide
If you’re new to Arizona or just
looking for fun, ION makes it easy
to find out what’s going on. Use our
entertainment guides to find some
of the best hotspots and restaurants in the valley. There’s also a
map and list of drink specials at the
local bars and clubs in the back of
every issue.
Fall Sports Guide
Attention sport fans, - uh - “athletic
supporters” or people who like uniforms, welcome to our “Balls to the
Wall” sports issue. We’ve featured
some of the sexiest jocks around to
bring you a guide about local sports
leagues. There’s great information
so you can get involved, have fun
and meet wonderful people, too!
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www.IONAZ.com September 2010
And Have We Got A
Story for You!
We’ve have features about Barbra
Seville and her Wonderful 100 team
in the AIDS Walk, the “Queer of the
Year” contest with the wacky Nathan Gilligan, author and playwright
Tania Katan’s one-woman show
about her battle with breast cancer
told with candor and humor, and
tale about the return of Celia Putty.
Here at ION, we want to hear from
YOU! We want your opinion. Let us
know how we’re doing. Tell us what
you love and what you would like
to see more of. Tell us what you’d
change. E-mail me at ionarizona@
me.com. I read each e-mail. Okay,
so I have no life.
Now get ready to play ball! Read
ION Arizona cover to cover then go
outside and have fun!
Sincerely,
Jack M. Tesorero
Publisher
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NOH8 CAMPAIGN
3819 North 3rd Street Ste. #10, Phoenix, AZ 85012
(602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939
www.IONAZ.com
ionarizona@me.com
Publisher / FOUNDER
Jack M. Tesorero - Ext. 5 ................. jacktesorero@me.com
My Heatstroke.com
Bill Knoop .................................................... (602) 301-8457
CREATIVE DIRECTOR
Kevin Bushaw - Ext. 4 ..................... kbushaw@me.com
Editor
Deon Brown - Ext. 3 .................. ionazeditor@me.com
PRODUCTION ASSISTANT
Craig Rubin ................................. ionarizona@me.com
GRAPHIC DESIGNER
Brock Miles ......................... ionazproduction@me.com
PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS
ionazproduction@me.com
Advertising Sales
Mike Scofield
Ext 2 - ionazsales@me.com
Photographers:
Jerry O’Conner
Carlos Silva
Don Thompson
Chris Joswick
National Advertising Representative
Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863
ContributORS:
Wes Bergman
Addison DeWitt
Jackson David Kelly
Ted Kirby
Kim Ruff
Paul Sanchez
Published monthly by
1995-2010: 15 Years of Design and Creative Excellence
© 2010 JMT Designs, Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
PRINTED IN THE PHOENIX, AZ
All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine
remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced,
altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. Limited
usage rights can be purchased for a small fee.
NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent
company.
Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication
of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To
our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION
Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted by
our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and they
have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see a picture
that you own, please call us immediately and we will remove
it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, and
illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding that
the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper written
consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials of any
living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for unlawful
use of such content.
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photos bySeptember
Adam Bouska
2010
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Bliss/Rebar
Grand Opening
You’ll find Nirvana at the hottest spot to open in
Phoenix. Hungry? They’ve got a divine, affordable
menu. Thirsty? They’re offering up imaginative drinks.
Hint: Ask bartender Andrew to make you a “Boston Tea Party.” It’ll start a
revolution. Menu and drink specials with parking nearby. Sounds like heaven.
901 N. 4th St. www.blissonfourth.com (See ad on p. 3)
Barbra’s Wonderful
100 AIDS Walk
Sign-Up
The Blonde One trades in her Jimmy Choos
for a smart pair of Pumas for the AIDS Walk.
Be part of Seville’s Wonderful 100 Walking
Team! Come to Yappy Hour with your wellbehaved pet and sign up at BS West on
Sunday, Sept. 12 from 2-4 pm. Can’t make it?
Meet the team and join at Switch on Wednesday,
Sept. 29, 7-9 pm.
Pandemonium at icepics
Pandora Production and the twisted AZ Gender Outlaws
present a weekend of Pandemonium! You know her
as Connie Marble or Peggy Gravel, on Friday,
September 17 meet John Waters’ Dreamland Players
star, Mink Stole from 5-7 pm. On Saturday, Sept.
18 see San Francisco’s wildest drag queen,
Peaches Christ for a unique film experience.
3108 E. McDowell Rd. www.icepicsvideobar.
com (See ad p. 13)
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September 2010
Roscoe’s
Family Feud
“And the survey SAYS!” It all depends.
Hustle on down to Roscoe’s on Saturday,
Sept. 18 and see if your team can guess the
top
answers to insanely funny questions. It’s only $20 per team to play. But wait! Stick
around! A live DJ follows at 10 pm. Remember, on Sunday, Sept. 12 their famous
brunch starts again! 4531 N. 7th St. www.Roscoeson7th.com (See ad pp. 22-23)
Cherry Bar
Grand Re-Opening
You might call this “Cherry Jubilee!” Cherry Bar has
reinvented itself! Starting on Sept. 12 with a NFL
Sunday Tailgate Brunch from 10 am-2 pm, followed by
Kill-a-Keg at 4 pm. But the real barnburner happens on
Friday, Sept. 24 at 8 pm. And wait’ll you see the new
staff! Talk about Cherry Bombs! 1028 E. Indian School
Rd. www.CherryBarAZ.com (See ad pp. 3-4)
September 2010 ION EVENTS LISTINGS
DATE
EVENT & LOCATION
CITY
Fridays Friday Night Frat Party at Apollo’s
Phoenix
5
BiLatinMen.com Party at Karambas
Phoenix
3-6
Labor Day Weekend at Charlie’s
Phoenix
11
AIDS Walk a-Go-Go at Karamba
Phoenix
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Seville’s AIDS Walk sign-up at BS West
Scottsdale
12
Roscoe’s Brunch Is Back!
Phoenix
12
Tailgate Brunch & Kill-a-Keg at Cherry Bar
Phoenix
12
Amateur Strip Contest at Apollo’s
Phoenix
15-16
“El Grito” Independence Day & Fiestas Patrias at Karamba Phoenix
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Foam Bash at Forbidden
Scottsdale
17-18 Mink Stole & Peaches Christ at icepics
Phoenix
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Roscoe’s Family Feud
Phoenix
24
Cherry Bar Grand Re-Opening
Phoenix
24
Project Hardhat Party at Bunkhouse
Phoenix
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SW Center Bowling League at Shea Village Lanes
Phoenix
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Seville’s Wonderful 100 AIDS Walk signup at Switch
Phoenix
OCTOBER
2
Karamba’s 6th Anniversary Party
Phoenix
2
After Rainbows White Party at Cherry Bar
Phoenix
3
AIDS Walk & Rainbows Festival
Phoenix
3
Mr. Gay USofA at BS West (REAL GUYS, NOT DRAG KINGS)
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Carnaval Latino
Tucson
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Miss gay arizona of america
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Newcomer of the
Year Finals at Forbidden
Who will be Arizona’s next drag superstar? Coco St.
James? PJ Bottoms? Celia Self? Felicia Minor? Kira
Daniels or Iva Desire? Maybe the luscious Lady D’Gotti will
take home the title. Talent, Q&A, Evening Wear and Mystery
Challenge will determine who wins. Wedneday, September
8th at Forbidden. 6820 E. 5th Ave. in Scottsdale. Reserve your
table at www.ForbiddenAZ.com Doors open at 8 p.m.
Pussy’s 50th Birthday
It’s the half-century mark for Pussy LeHoot! And there’s a
lot of life left in the old gal yet! Join in the birthday hijinx
where they’ll also be celebrating Puss’s 30th anniversary
in show business and pantyhose! See you at Charlie’s on
Saturday, September 12 at 8 p.m. 727 W. Camelback Rd. in
Phoenix. www.CharliesPhoenix.com
September 2010 ION DRAG LISTINGS
DATE TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S)
Mondays
9:00pm
Apollo’s
Naughty or Nice Bingo with Erikya Knowles
Monday 6th
4:00pm
Charlie’s
Pussy’s Annual Labor Day Show
Tuesday 21st
7:00pm
Palazzo
Golden Wighead Awards
Tuesday 21st
8:00pm
BS West
Miss Gay USofA at LArge Fundraiser for Eryka K,
Wednesday 222nd 9:30pm
Go Large or Go Home AZ at LArge Fundraiser
Wednesdays
10:00pm
Charlie’s
Claudia B. & Company
Third Thursdays
10:00pm
Forbidden
Miss Ruby’s Show
Thursdays
10:30pm
Karamba
Grecia’s Show
Fridays
9:00pm
BS West
Elements - followed by Mandy B.B.’s Boys!
Friday 10th
8:00pm
BS West
Tour De Tatas Breast Cancer Fundraiser
Saturdays
10:00pm
icepics
The Follies Comedy Drag Show
Saturdays 10:00pm
Forbidden
The Barbra Seville Show
Saturdays
9:30pm
Charlie’s
Pussy’s Patio Show
Sunday 5th
6:00pm
Doubletree Hotel, Tucson - Turnabout for TIHAN
Sunday 5th
8:00pm
Apollo’s
Afeelya Bunz TToTM w/ Tyra Marie
Sunday 5th
8:00pm
Charlie’s
Dirty Ol’ Broads Ebony’s Birthday Show
Sunday 12th
8:00pm
Apollo’s
T.C. Taylor’s TToTM for C.A.R.E.
Sunday 12th
8:00pm
Charlie’s
Pussy’s 50t Birthday Blowout
Sunday 19th
8:00pm
Apollo’s
Mia Adams TToTM
Sunday 26th 8:00pm
Apollo’s
Barbra Seville’s TToTM Show
Sundays
8:30pm
Charlie’s
Pussy LeHoot & Friends
Sundays
10:30pm
Karamba
Galilea’s Show
To add your drag event, e-mail dates, times, locations & pics to kbushaw@me.com
Included events must be 1) Charity Benefit OR 2) Located at an ION Arizona Advertiser
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Celia Putty
“And They Call it
Putty Love”
by Deon Brown
26 www.IONAZ.com May 2010
26 www.IONAZ.com September 2010
F
or longtime drag enthusiasts it’s
hard to believe that it’s been ten long,
dreary years since the comic genius
that was Miss Celia McGillicuddy Putty
disappeared one night, slipping into the
inky depths of the Arizona Grand Canal
without a trace. The Phoenix nightclub
stages lost one of the truly creative –
and a little bit goofy – performers who
shaped Phoenix’ “Golden Age of Drag”
in the late 1980s.
Miraculously, as legend would have it,
Celia Putty was discovered
just a few months ago,
having been sold
into White Slavery
somewhere in the
mystic Orient for
the past decade.
That’s what the
press releases
say.
Thanks to
man inside the
pantyhose, Richie
Black – Putty’s back!
Glamorous, glorious and
girdled up good, Celia’s spent
hours honing her skills: lips synching,
dancing, rehearsing, and backcombing
wigs, ready to “wow” a hungry
audience. Putty’s here to stay. And
better than ever!
A colorful conversation with the
crackpot comedian revealed a
sensitive side of the dewy-eyed star –
remarkably youthful in appearance; an
ingenue once again, and raring to go.
“I’m really excited and a little bit
nervous,” Richie confessed. “I’m a
married homebody now. I’m needed a
creative outlet and Putty is a vehicle
for that. Right now, drag is exploding in
the house!” Black expressed his delight
being able to order some things online,
not like the “old days,” when you had to
drive and try things on in the store.
After a brief –let’s say – “career
derailment,” why did it take a decade
to get Miss Putty back? “I always left
the door open,” Richie explained.
“That’s why I never completely killed
her off, like it was reported. She just
disappeared. I’ve had offers to bring
her back through the years.
Barbra Seville has asked
me before. This year –
for a lot of reasons
– it was time.”
Philosophically,
Richie added,
“There’s some
symbolism in it for
me, too.”
Veterans
remember when
Putty and her
sidekick Barbra Seville
were budding starlets
and took the stage by storm.
Those introduced to Putty will love
her comedy and anything-for-a-laugh
onstage antics.
“Once I decided to bring her back to
life, it was like adding water to a Chia
Pet,” Richie laughs enthusiastically.
Come see what all the fuss is about!
Celia Putty makes her debut redux
with cohort Barbra Seville on Saturday,
September 18 at Forbidden Showroom.
She’ll attend the Golden Wig Head
Awards at Palazzo on Tuesday,
September 21 and perform again on
Sunday, September 26 at Apollo’s.
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Phoenix Cooks!
Indulge, sample, learn, shop, mingle and more at Phoenix Cooks!
Over 50 fabulous restaurants and resorts will be on hand in this
interactive environment where you can learn how to cook like a top
chef, pair wines, shop for the ultimate kitchen equipment and more on
Sunday, September 4 from 10 a.m.- 3 p.m. at the JW Marriott Desert Ridge,
5350 E. Marriott Dr. in Phoenix. Visit www.PhoenixCooks.com for tix and info.
Restaurant Week
Several major cities around the country set aside a week
where local restaurants can showcase their menus by offering
a special meal at a special price. It’s a great way to get to
know some local dining options, some of which may have
prices a bit beyond our reach. Usually three courses around
$29-$39 each. Visit www.ArizonaRestaurantWeek.com for a
list of restaurants in Tucson and Phoenix.
Grand Avenue Festival
Historic building tours, fashion shows, music performances and
art studios all featuring local talent and a variety of other neat and
weird and kooky stuff all happens on that goofy perpendicular
street, lower Grand Avenue, for this second annual event on
Saturday, September 25! Best of all, it’s a street fair, so it’s FREE!
For more information go to www.GrandAvePhx.dom
September 2010 ION around town listings
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DATE ARTIST / EVENTLOCATION
4
4-6
10-11
10-12
11
17-19
17-19
18-26
24-25
25
25
Phoenix Cooks! at Marriott Desert Ridge
CopperCon Sci Fi Convention at Windemere Hotel Mesa Arts Center Season Kick Off Party
AZ Home & Building Expo
Doggie Dive-In Palm Island Aquatic Park El Zaribah Shrine Circus at West World
Fall Frenzy at Tempe Beach Park
AZ Restaurant Week
Tukee Fest Rockin’ the Park
Smithsonian Museum Free Day
Grand Avenue Festival
www.IONAZ.com September 2010
Phoenix
Mesa
Mesa
Phx Convention Ctr.
Casa Grande
Scottsdale
Tempe
various restaurants
Ahwatukee
various museums
Phoenix
August 2010
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September 2010
Jonas Brothers
If you can’t make up your mind which Jonas Brother is the
cutest – we say it’s Joe – you can make up your mind when
the Disney darling boy band bounces into town to perform at the
Cricket Wireless Pavilion on Tuesday, September 14 to croon to a
crowd of tweeny boppers. And maybe even you. 2121 N. 83rd Ave. For
tix call 602-254-7200 or visit www. LiveNation.com
Arizona Fall Frenzy
If you like music, and if you like to sweat, you’ll love the Arizona Fall
Frenzy! Every year some of the hottest new names in music – as
well as few old warhorses – rock the stage at Tempe Beach Park, off
Mill Avenue. This year you’ll see Stone Temple Pilots, Weezer, Devo,
Blue October, Primus, Sublime with Rome, and many
more! Visit www.LuckyManOnline.com for info and
tix or call 480-829-0707
Carrie Underwood
One of the hottest names in country music to emerge from
American Idol who was never a stripper, comes to town to strut
her stuff – vocally, that is – at the Jobing.com Arena on Sunday,
Oct. 3. C’mon down to 9400 W. Maryland Ave in Glendale. For
tix call 800-745-3000 or go to www.ticketmaster.com.
September 2010 ION Concert Calendar
DATE ARTIST / EVENTLOCATION
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Jonas Brothers
15
Paramore w/ Tegan & Sarah
17
Blue Oyster Cult & Foghat
17-18
AZ Fall Frenzy
18
Brad Paisley
18
Tower of Power
19
Rockstar Energy Drink Festival
23
Chris Isaak
24
KISS
24
Pixies
25
Train
26
Tom Petty
26
70s Soul Jam
28
Bryan Adams
OCTOBER
3
Carrie Underwood
Cricket Wireless Pavilion
Dodge Theatre
Celebrity Theatre
Tempe Beach Park
Cricket Wireless Pavilion
Celebrity Theatre
Tempe Beach Park
Celebrity Theatre
Cricket Wireless Pavilion
Mesa Amphitheatre
US Airways Center
US Airways Center
Celebrity Theatre
Orpheum Theatre
602-254-7200
602-379-2888
602-267-1600
480-829-0707
602-254-7200
602-267-1600
Jobing.com Arena
800-745-3000
September 2010
602-267-1600
602-254-7200
4800-829-0707
800-745-3000
800-745-3000
602-267-1600
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September 2010
by Jackson David Kelly
jacksonkelly@cox.net
Yo, DJ!
What’s New?
In addition to these great finds, check
out new albums from Papa Roach, Lyfe
Jennings, Sara Bareilles, Interpol, Linkin
Park, Kenny Chesney, Jimmy Eat World,
Michelle Branch, Weezer, Armin Van Buuren,
Mark Ronson, Paula Cole and Maroon 5!
Robyn
Body Talk Pt. 2
Robyn’s quest for a
trifecta is two-thirds
complete with this
brilliant release of Body
Talk 2. “Hang With Me,”
shines in its ode to
“Dancing on my Own”
and “Every Heartbeat”
kills with its emotional yet effervescent beat.
This set also gets amazing support from the
robotic, electro, floor filler “Criminal Intent”
as well as the Kelly Rowland-esque dance
anthem “Love Kills.” And then there’s the
strange but workable collaboration with
Snoop Dogg “U Should Know Better.” It
sounds like oil and water, but ends up more
like tea and honey. In all, this is one album
you need to get now!
Brandon Flowers
Flamingo
They made a name for
themselves by saying
your boyfriend looks
like a girlfriend and
now with the Killers
on hiatus, Brandon
Flowers is ready to go
Stefani on us. Though
the tracks were originally written for the
group, they work very well as a stand-alone.
“Crossfire,” the first single has one of the
catchiest piano riffs to come out in years. It’s
melodic, purposeful and has a Keane-like
vibe. Flamingo also gets great help from the
collaboration with Rilo Kiley’s lead on “Hard
Enough” as well as the rock-tinged offerings
of “Jilted Lovers” and “Broken Hearts.” And
there’s the song that wins on its name –
“Welcome to the Fabulous Las Vegas.”
Katie Melua
The House
For something different,
check out Katie’s 180
degree turn of tunes.
Produced by the beloved
William Orbit, Katie
takes her rich voice and
creates an album that is
atmospheric, romantic
and very workably eerie. Think of this as a
Norah Jones on drugs with a soft electric
feel only Orbit can produce. Tracks of note
include “The Flood” with its ethereal, moving
and sweeping notion as well as “Moment
of Madness” and its Broadway ode to the
musical Chicago. And there’s the trippy
“Happy Place,” a song that sounds like it
came right out of a Tim Burton film.
Underworld
Barking
The group most famous
for their 90’s techno
masterpiece, “Born
Slippy” is back with
their best offering in
a decade. Barking
takes the group back
to their original sound
and gives fans a taste of what made them a
household name. Lead single “Scribble” is
soft yet driven with its drum and bass feel all
while resonating with a commercial hook that
screams simple but majestic. Other songs of
note include the Paul Van Dyk collaboration,
“Diamond Jigsaw” and Dubfire’s “Bird1.”
The only track not featuring a guest spot is
the last of nine tracks called “Louisiana.” It’s
great to see a group still making relevant
music after 30 years.
September 2010
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MORE PICTURES AT IONA Z.COM
Leather party
Photos by Kevin Bushaw
34
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September 2010
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Tania
Katan
“Saving Tania’s
Privates”
by Deon Brown
36
www.IONAZ.com September
May 2010 2010
I
n 1992, Tania Katan received her first
diagnosis of breast cancer and underwent
a radical mastectomy. The cancer migrated
and attacked her remaining breast in
2002. An eternal optimist, Katan wrote the
memoir, My One Night Stand With Cancer
(2005, Alyson Books), a poignant, funny,
philosophical look at life as a Lesbian. With
breast cancer. And living to tell the tale.
has a theatrical arc, that hits all these notes
– one that’s funny, that captures the drama
of the whole experience. I’m acting. When
I work with my director, we work with the
reality of each scene. I find that being in a
situation that’s really life or death wasn’t as
helpful as having a sense of humor in the
creative realm of looking at things that were
going to happen.”
Now, Katan adapted her book into a onewoman show and received rave
reviews, performing in
Edinburgh, Scotland
and in Seattle,
Washington. She
brings this show
back home to
Phoenix, where
it all started,
and she’ll
perform at
the Phoenix
Theatre’s Little
Theatre. “It’s
about dating
and losing boobs.
And some stuff in
between,” Tania said.
But serious illness transcends sexual
orientation and gender. “There’s a
perception within a straight audience
that Lesbians have it easier
because our partners will
‘understand’ because
women are all caring and
stuff, but the reality of
getting breast cancer
or any illness that
causes you to have a
part removed that’s
connected to sexuality
is that partners,
husbands, wives, are
uncomfortable with it, or
okay with it, regardless of
sexual orientation.”
Always ready with a quick
quip, we asked Tania if anything
about breast cancer was funny for her. “I
don’t think of the elements as being funny,
as much as being absurd,” she explained.
“It’s the absurdity of illness. When I had my
second breast removed, the the surgeon
had me mark on a figure on a piece of paper
which breast would be removed – on a little
stick figure. Since I only had one breast
I drew a little arrow to the left breast and
wrote, ‘Repeat performance.’ The chances
of them getting it right was pretty easy.”
Katan condensed her 288 page book into a
script for an audience but the story is still the
same: a young woman – who just happens
to be Lesbian – with breast cancer. “I’ve
written a complete play with an audience in
mind. I work with a director, a dramaturge so
that we can craft a story that makes sense,
Does she miss her breasts?
“Gosh, when I had one breast, for
a long time I sort of missed having two.
When I had the second one removed it was
sort of this ‘clean slate’ situation. But, no,
I haven’t thought about my boobies for a
long time. I feel symmetrical again. I don’t
think about my breasts, I think about other
peoples’ breasts.”
Tania’s show features, “Gay people, me
singing poorly, and doctors missing veins.
And some dancing girls. And by dancing
girls, I mean me. And cancer. What more do
you need?”
You can’t “catch” breast cancer, but you can
catch Tania Katan’s brilliant “Saving Tania’s
Privates” at the Little Theatre at Phoenix
Theatre at 100 E. McDowell Rd. Sept. -Oct.
10 at 8 p.m. Box Office: 602-254-2151
September 2010
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Beach Party Weekend
PHOENIX
Photos by Chris Joswick
38
www.IONAZ.com September 2010
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Gilligan’s
Guy-land
by Deon Brown
40
September
www.IONAZ.com May
2010 2010
H
ere at ION Arizona, we’re
constantly amazed and surprised with
the ingenuity and flair that members
of our local GLBTQ community exhibit
when presented with a challenge or
an opportunity. You never know what
seeds will fall on fertile ground.
This past July, ION presented readers
with the opportunity to enter the first
ever “Queer of the
Year” contest held in
beautiful Montréal,
Canda. This pageant
was sponsored in part
by Tourisme Montréal,
the Greater Montréal
Convention and
Tourism Bureau, GAY.
com, Fierté Montréal
Pride.
Out of hundreds of
applicants, the field
was narrowed down
to twenty who were
interviewed by judges
for their Personality,
Talent, Healthy
Lifestyle, Sex Appeal, Creativity,
Showmanship, Fab Factor, Smarts,
Social Media Popularity, Background,
and a Sense of Community in a
search for the Brightest Star under
the Rainbow, to find out who’s got
the sass, the class, and the brass
to named “Queer of the Year 2010.”
The story all played out on www.
QueerOfTheYearContest.com
ION printed an encouragement for
local favorite Nathan Gilligan to enter
the contest, and he bit. The prospect
of being cast in a reality show can be
intimidating. Nathan reflected, “I was
totally not going to apply for what I now
call a mixture of Sex In The City meets
the Gay Real World, but I did.”
The top five finalists competed in
Montréal during their Pride week,
August 9-16. A film crew followed them
as they took part in all kinds of crazy
activities – a car wash, a gourmet cookoff, a drag show, a photo shoot and an
urban triathlon. Viewers
voted for their favorite
contestants online, while
Nathan’s fans – Team
Gilligan – watched to
see how our hometown
boy performed.
Nathan won the
Cook-Off, he blew
their dresses up over
their wigs in the Drag
Challenge and place
third in the Photoshoot.
Finally, Phoenix’s
Favorite Son came in
Second Place.
We spoke to Nathan
about his experience
in the beautiful city of Montréal and his
performance in QOTY.
“Montréal is a city that stands out.
I mean, name a city that you know
for sure finds pride in making sure
the entire city somehow involves
themselves as well as their entire
family – both Gay and Straight alike,”
Nathan explained. “In most cities,
the Rainbow flag is flown only for the
weekend, but Montréal makes sure
education, community involvement, and
acceptance are respected values as a
part of the city’s understood ‘code of
ethics’ and can proudly fly Rainbows
September 2010
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www.IONAZ.com September 2010
24/7/365 without shame. So, to choose
my favorite thing about Montréal is like
asking me to eat just one Oreo; it just
can’t happen,” Nathan said laughingly.
“The GLBT community is so freeflowing and very much into the
concept educating the future –the
youth – not to hate. I love this! Now, if
only us Americans started educating
our children, maybe generations
to come can change the negative
thought process toward members of
the GLBTQ community by learning
to accept people just as they are:
human.”
We asked Nathan what gifts he
brought to the table for the QOTY
competition. “Myself! After all ‘Nathan’
means ‘a gift from God’ and I know us
Americans always forget the receipt
of purchase when trying to return
something. So, you’re stuck with
me and, no, you can’t have in-store
credit. All kidding aside, I brought an
educated, humorous way to express
myself. I brought big smiles, over-thetop screams and a personality that’s
unmatched. I think it’s because I’m
100% original, Illinois-grown, USDA
Choice. The Surgeon General warns
I’m highly addictive,” he added with a
wink.
Although the handsome Sean Horlor,
a Canadian from Vancouver, won the
Queer of the Year contest and the title,
our Gilligan is the Queer of the Year
stateside.
“ION Arizona made this possible by
sowing the seed and now look at
me! I’m the #1 QUEER IN THE USA,
BABY! Heck, after you say it a few
times its feels good! ‘Nathan Gilligan:
Queer of America!’ Never should we
forget to build our GLBT community
up, so stop the homo-to-homo hate!
I’m NOH8 N8! ‘Americas Top Queer!’”
Saving
Tania’s Privates
Writer, performer and local favorite writer – and coincidentally
Lesbian – Tania Katan adapted her poignant best-selling memoir
My One Night Stand With Cancer for the stage in this acclaimed
one woman show. Tania’s wit and honesty while she recounts her
story of her life with and survival from breast cancer is amazing. Phoenix
Theatre, 100 E. McDowell Rd. Sept. 16-Oct. 10. Call 602-254-2151
for tix and info or visit www.SavingTaniasPrivates.com
Margaret Cho : Cho Dependent
Everybody’s favorite Korean-American comedian/fashion
designer/actress/author comes to Phoenix with a new musical
comedy routine to entertain you and – what else? – promote her
new album! And a portion of proceeds go to help the Gulf recover
from the BP fiasco. It all happens at the Dodge
Theatre, 400 W. Washington St.
For tix call 602-379-2888
Daniel Tosh
“I’m all for Gay marriage. Just the thought of having a man
around the house ...” The goofy, adorable, and slightly Gay (but
we don’t know for sure) Daniel Tosh comes to the Dodge Theatre
to share his funny observations. And did we mention how cute
he is? 400 W. Washington St. For tix call 602-379-2888
September 2010 ION THEATER + STANDUP
DATE EVENT
9-25
Blood Royal SW Shakespeare
10-12
The Music Man
thru 11 Saucy Jack & The Space Vixens
thru 12 Noises Off
16-10/10 Saving Tania’s Privates
10-19
Manzi: Childhood of Cesar Chavez
17
NBC’s Last Comic Standing Tour
18
Margaret Cho
thru 19 Cinderella: A Ragtime Musical
19
Cheaper To Keep Her
24
Howie Mandel
24-25
Kevin Nealon
25
Daniel Tosh
thru 26 Lend Me A Tenor
LOCATION
Mesa Arts Ctr.
Phoenix Symphony
Nearly Naked Theatre
Phoenix Theatre
Phoenix Theatre
Teatro Bravo!
Mesa Arts Ctr.
Dodge Theatre
Desert Stages Theatre
Dodge Theatre Chandler Ctr. for the Arts
Tempe Improv
Dodge Theatre
AZ B’way Theatre
PHONE
480-644-6500
602-405-1999
602-251-2151
602-254-2151
602-254-2151
602-258-1800
480-644-6500
602-379-4888
480-483-1664
602-379-4888
480-782-2680
480-921-9877
602-379-2888
623-776-8400
September 2010 www.IONAZ.com 45
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www.IONAZ.com September 2010
by Kimberly M. Ruff
kimberlymruff@yahoo.com
Movie Previews
Last month, I waxed poetic about the artistic
potential of Eat, Pray, Love because I
foolishly assumed that combining Elizabeth
Gilbert’s best-selling novel with the star
appeal of Julia Roberts would have struck
cinematic gold. I was wrong. Boy, was I
ever wrong! In fact, it has been a very long
time indeed since I’ve gone to a movie and
promptly made a beeline to the nearest dive
bar to down seventeen shots of Southern
Comfort, but that’s what Eat, Pray, Love did
to me – it made me drink, pass out, suppress.
That’s the rub about
doing movie previews.
If the section title
didn’t clue you in,
let me explain:
your guess on
the potential
of these films
is as good as
mine – I’ve
not seen them
either. At least,
not by the time
this article goes to
print. All I’m doing is
digging through my triviawinning/date-losing knowledge
of film and coming up with an
educated guess. Given that I’m
human, I’m prone to err. Toss in
a very biased love (or hate) of a
particular variable in the film du
jour and I’m probably a lot more
likely to err. So now that you know, I’d
like to apologize to every single reader
(all three of you) if you took my terrible,
terrible advice and saw Eat, Pray, Love.
If I hadn’t blown all my money on my post
viewing bender, I’d personally refund you.
Going the Distance
Starring: Drew Barrymore, Justin Long,
Christina Applegate, Charlie Day, Jason
Sudeikis
Let me kick this off by saying I like Drew
Barrymore – a lot. I think she’s a cutie
patootie, but I’m also well-aware of the fact
that when it comes to her film choices, it’s
hit or miss. Usually miss. In the latest RomCom staring Drew-Bar, Going the Distance,
she stars as Erin, a San Franciscan, who
meets Garrett (Long), while in New York for
the summer. Hitting it off immediately but
ever-cognizant of their home bases, they
agree to have a no-strings-attached fling
and go their separate ways come fall. Easier
said than done; the two end up constantly
communicating with one another and begin
to realize that maybe their short story
is really a novel. Jason Sudeikis
(The Daily Show), Charlie Day (It’s
Always Sunny in Philadelphia), and
Christina Applegate (Samantha
Who?) co-star.
I’m Still Here
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix
Casey Affleck, the legitimately
talented Affleck brother, makes
his directorial debut with
this documentary film
depicting one year in the
life of Academy Award
winning actor, Joaquin
Phoenix. No doubt, you
remember Phoenix’s
bizarre appearance
on The Tonight Show
with Jay Leno a few
years back where he
mubbled nonsensically through
a Mountain Man’s beard and hid behind
a pair of oversized sunglasses he most
likely stole from one of the Olsen Twins. Or
you’ll remember his unceremonious exit
from cinema in order to pursue a music
career – as a Hip-Hop artist. I’m Still Here
follows Phoenix from the Fall of 2008 as he
attempts to reinvent himself and does so in a
remarkably touching way.
September 2010
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48
www.IONAZ.com Setember 2010
by Wes Bergman
wesobergman@yahoo.com
DVD Movie Review
Say Goodnight
Starring: Rob Benedict, Christopher
Gessner, David Monahan, Aaron Paul
One night, four guy friends are hanging out
at their favorite hot-spot in their usual quest
for willing ladies when the conversation turns
to the most recent dating
experiences of three
of them, as relayed
to their fourth
member who
happened
to leave
early the
night that
the others
met the
women in
question.
Told in
flashback,
Say
Goodnight, is
an interesting
glimpse into how
three different men
choose to handle the
romantic opportunities that
simultaneously fall into
their laps. There’s your
typical self-serving Jersey
Shore housemate, Victor
(Paul, Breaking Bad),
who takes up with sexuallyuninhibited Crystal (Carly
Pope); the commitmentphobic
Mason (Gessner), who tentatively
dates no muss, no fuss Angela (Smith Cho);
and, mildly neurotic nerd Leroy (Benedict)
who embarks on a long-term relationship
with talented spitfire, Lily (Shannon Lucio).
As each story unfolds, it is interesting to note
the manner in which each man handles his
respective relationship, and how he chooses
to view it in hindsight.
Patrik Age 1.5
Starring: Gustaf Skarsgard, Torkel
Petersson, Thomas Ljungman
In this beautiful Swedish film, Goran
(Skarsgard) and Sven (Petersson), are a
married gay couple seeking to expand their
family. Shortly after moving into their idyllic
suburban home, they make arrangements
to adopt an eighteen-month-old boy
named Patrik. Ecstatic about this
new addition to their unique
home (Sven has a 16 year-old
daughter from his previous
marriage), they quickly learn
that Patrik is not a teething
1.5 year-old – he’s a 15-yearold whose cut his teeth doing
time. The stress, confusion,
and frustration Goran and
Sven go through to both clarify
and rectify the situation only
serve to drive a wedge between
them. In Sven’s absence, Goran
allows Patrik to stay on until he can
find a new “ordinary” family. It
is then the most unexpected
happens – Goran and Patrik
develop a loving connection
when they help each other
find that which they’ve
always been seeking –
family and acceptance.
I cannot even begin to
articulate just how lovely this
film was – from beginning to end,
it’s a wonderful foreign-language film
that resonated deeply with me. Like the blue
cake that Goran, a doctor, shares with his
staff during tea, it is what I love about film –
little slices of life fraught with meaning; tiny
gestures filled with humanity; and, tender
moments ripe with kindness, compassion,
and beauty. I strongly recommend everyone
see this film – you will be better for it.
September 2010
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Macayo’s
Mexican Restaurant
A Valley Tradition in the Heart of our Community
I
t’s easy to discard a Valley staple
as being as an also-ran, part of the
landscape, or old hat. Or old sombrero,
in this case. Veteran Mexican food
restaurant Macayo’s dot the Mexican
dining landscape in Arizona. There’s
eleven here in the Valley, two in Tucson.
one in Prescott, and even four Nevada.
It might seem trite, but Macayo’s can still
surprise.
Macayo’s began way back in 1946 in
a tiny shop on McDowell Road. The
present-day kitschy Mayan-esque
“pryramid” on Central Avenue south
of Indian School Road has been the
flagship store since 1952.
Pick from three different chimichanga
dinners: huge, – and I mean huge –
crispy flour tortillas filled with variations
of tender shredded beef, savory chicken
or carnitas, and smothered with choice
sauces. Make ‘em into a “grande”
dinner, adding rice, refried beans, sauce
and guacamole for less than $3 more.
Macayo’s also offers traditional grilled
taco, fish taco, and even salmon
tacos, if that’s what you crave. Craving
fajitas? They’ve got you covered with
three different kinds: chicken, steak
or shrimp, with combinations of grilled
onions, green chiles, onions, cheeses,
mushrooms,
The menu is exactly what you’d expect:
straightforward, honest, Mexican
“comfort” food, by and large. But don’t
sell Macayo’s short: there are a few
exciting spins on old favorites, and
there’s something that’s bound to
please at a price everyone can
afford.
Got a hankering for a burro?
And I don’t mean of the
“donkey” variety. They’ve got
four varieties to choose from,
including grilled carne asada,
shredded beef, shredded
chicken, ground beef, or
“California” style, with no meat,
but other goodies. All around
the $10 mark.
September 2010
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sauces
and more.
In addition to house specialties,
like Steak Picado, Chicken Poblano,
Carnitas and more – and not even
topping the $13 mark – you can even
choose from three different enchilada
dinners, or “Mex ‘n’ Match,” where you
can create practically anything you
want, pairing it with a variety of specialty
creations and sides. Get a little, or a
lot. But guaranteed, you’ll be filled up.
These choices are run from $6.99 to
$10.99. Cheap, cheap, cheap! But good,
good, good!
So loosen up! Remember the good
52
www.IONAZ.com September 2010
times
when
you
came to
Macayo’s
with
Mom and
Dad! It’s kind of
a trip down Memory Lane, especially
in the old location, but it’s still just as
fun! And, yes, you can still get one of
those kooky Margaritas and drink out
of the sombrero of the ceramic Señor
or Señorita. And take it home for a
souvenir.
Find Macayo’s near you. For locations,
hours and phone numbers visit
www.Macayo.com
New
Expanded
Restaurant
Guide!
Coming in October!
September 2010
www.IONAZ.com 53
Thompson Image Ad IO#B93FEB.pdf
3/24/10
1:47:51 PM
THOMPSON
IMAGE
Photography
Headshots
Portraits
Editorial
Lifestyle
Families
Children
Events
Interiors
Architectural
C
M
Y
CM
MY
CY
Graphic design
Web design
CMY
Contact Don Thompson at 602-418-2262
dthompson@thompsonimage.com
K
Stephanie Heymann at sheymann@thompsonimage.com
www.thompsonimage.com
Mustache ride
54
www.IONAZ.com Setember 2010
Photos by Deon Brown
www.IONAZ.com
September 2010 55
Barbra Seville’s Wonderful 100
“A Cause may be inconvenient, but it’s
magnificent. It’s like champagne or high
heels, and you have to be prepared to
suffer for it.”
Wonderful 100 is still the same as it was
last year: 100 people raising $100 each.
This year Seville’s “Wonderful 100”
team may exceed the century mark.
Registration is not limited.
And if anybody should know about a
Cause, champagne and high heels, it’s
our own veteran of footlights and fame,
the magnificent Miss Barbra Seville.
But it was Barbra’s creator, Richard
Stevens, who decided that he – and his
creation Barbra – could lend their name,
clout, know-how, a little moxie along with
some shoe leather and help raise dearly
needed funds for AIDS Walk Phoenix,
an Aunt Rita’s Foundation event, once
it was resurrected last year again after
several years on hiatus. That’s why
“Barbra Seville’s Wonderful 100” was
created. The AIDS Walk Phoenix is a
magnificent Cause. And if you don’t
mind a brisk walk just over three miles
you can be part of a worthwhile event
benefitting many.
This year, ArizonaDrag.com, Apollo’s
Lounge, Charlie’s Phoenix, Forbidden
Nightclub and ION Arizona magazine
are sponsoring Barbra Seville’s
Wonderful 100. Not only that, Barbra’s
enlisted a team of dedicated volunteers
who are sharing their time and gifts to
help make Seville’s Wonderful 100 – in
her words – “Bigger. Blonder. And more
Bodacious than ever!” ArizonaDrag.
com’s drag queen kingpin, Edward
Castro, Forbidden and Switch’s Dusty
Brinsmade – always quick to volunteer
for a Cause, Nathan Rhoton, the “Can
Do” man, the enthusiastic, handsome
Alfredo Guardio and others are all
helping with Seville’s juggernaut walking
team.
“Last year was
fantastic,”
Richard said.
“People kept
asking me,
‘Are you
going to do
it again?’”
Seville’s
premiere
fundraising team
raised more than
$10,000 in 2009.
But the foundation
for Barbra’s
September 2010
www.IONAZ.com 57
to me. People care that much. You don’t
have to raise $1,200. I’ve even had
people raise five or ten dollars because
that was all some could afford.”
“What’s
really
remarkable
are the
people who’ve
contributed their
talent. They’ve picked up the
ball and volunteered, saying, ‘I can do
that!’” Richard said. “I’m really excited
about working with new people. Seeing
people getting excited about it, and
getting their friends excited about AIDS
Walk Phoenix, too. It’s a beautiful day
to be out; young, old, Gay, Straight – all
walking for those who can’t. It really
shows the best of Phoenix.”
Kirk Baxter said, “Barbara Seville
sets the bar for AIDS Walk with her
chutzpah and community service. Her
fun, money-raising strategies embody
the spirit of giving in addition to her own
flair. Aunt Rita’s Foundation and the
agencies we serve love her.”
Last year Charlie’s Phoenix helped
Seville’s team start the day with a hot
breakfast presented at the club. Richard
remembers, “My favorite part of the
day happened early in the morning. I
was tired; I did a show the night before.
But at 6:50 in the morning I arrived at
the parking lot at Charlie’s, and there
were already people waiting. It was so
sweet. I had to walk away and just have
a private ‘moment.’ All these people –
ready to walk. People were tired, people
were hungover. People who had worked
all night still got up that morning and
made it there. It’s really overwhelming
58
www.IONAZ.com September 2010
If you’ve got a pooch, you can register
your pet to walk with PAWS for the
Cause at the same time. Seville’s
Wonderful 100 team of volunteers will
be at BS West on Sunday afternoon,
September 12 for a unique registration
event: It’s Yappy Hour from 2-4 p.m.
Pack up your pup and register over
a mug o’ suds. Or meet her team at
Switch on Thursday, September 29 from
7-9 p.m. and sign up.
Would you like to be part of the AIDS
Walk Phoenix 2010 and join Barbra
Seville’s Wonderful 100? It’s easy! Click
on to www.AIDSwalkPhoenix.org to
register, or to sponsor Barbra Seville’s
Wonderful 100, Team Number T20303.
“It’s out of my hands,” said Richard.
“It’s everybody walking.” Sounds like a
magnificent Cause, doesn’t it? Thanks
to Barbra Seville and her Wonderful
100, it is.
August 2010 www.IONAZ.com 59
MORE PICTURES AT IONA Z.COM
Lady g PArty
Photos by Deon Brown
60
www.IONAZ.com
September 2010
September 2010
www.IONAZ.com 61
The Leathermen
PHOENIX
Photos by Kevin Bushaw
62
www.IONAZ.com September 2010
Photography by Jerry O’Conner
Art Direction and Design by Kevin Bushaw
Special Thanks to Justin at Roscoe’s, Jared Garduno,
& The Radisson City Center
www.IONAZ.com September 2010
Hellraisers Flag Football League
Saturdays at Colter Park at West Colter St. and 7th Ave.
Pictured Players: Scott Bowerman, Jared Garduno, Oz Barron,
Matt Strand, & Matt Vaughn.
www.phoenixflagfootball.com
Upcoming Event - Gay Bowl X
The Phoenix Hellraisers Flag Football League is proud to be the
host of Gay Bowl X set to take place October 6th-11th, 2010.
Team and Individual Registration is currently taking place.
www.gaybowlx.com
Phoenix Sunfish Masters Swim Team
Monday - 6:30 - 8:00 pm ASU SRC
Tuesday - 6:30-8:00 pm Christown YMCA
Thursday - 6:30-8:00 pm South Mountain YMCA
Saturday - 4:30-6:00 pm ASU SRC
www.phxsunfish.org
Featured Swimmers: Aliza Rain, Ronald Conner,
Jacob Palmer & David Decker
September 2010
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www.IONAZ.com September 2010
Cactus Cities Softball League:
Open Play just began. But it’s not too late to join in! Members may join
teams at any time during the Fall Season. Fall Season is from
September 12, 2010 - December 12, 2010
Games are on Sundays at Cesar Chavez (35th Ave. and Baseline)
www.cactuscities.com
Featured Players: Heber Hernandez, Gabe Turner, Michael Garcia, Joe
Sepulveda, Jeremy Robb, Kevin Fordell of Roscoe’s Toros and Trojans.
Phoenix
Tennis Alliance
$5.00 Drop-In Tennis
Fridays & Sundays
7:00-9:00pm
Phoenix Tennis Center
6330 N. 21st Ave., Phoenix
www.phoenixtennisalliance.com
Featured Player: Alan East
AZ Gay Volleyball
(Sand VolleyBall)
Next Open Play is September 13th and 20th
Fall League Begins September 27th
6-Player Mondays at Steele Park & Radisson City Center 6:00-10:00 pm
4-Person Tuesdays at Steele Park 6:00-10:00 pm
www.AZGV.org
Featured Players: Ryan Harrington, Eric Foster, Frankie Rojas,
Theron Olivar & Eric Reyes
72
www.IONAZ.com September 2010
Desert Volleyball Alliance
(Court Volleyball)
$5 Open Court Saturdays
Sports Club at City Square
4000 North Central Avenue at 2nd Ave & Indianola in Phoenix
B Division: 10:30-1:00 pm
A Division: 1:00pm-3:30 pm www.desertvolleyballalliance.org
Upcoming Event- NAGVA Tournament Coming February 2011
Phoenix Flamingos
Kickball League
“The bases may not be loaded,
but we are!”
Plays Sundays at
Steele Park at 10:00 am
(Formerly at Colter Park)
Open Play date is October 10th
Season Runs October 17th December 5th
www.flamingoskickball.webs.com
Featured Player: Matthew Porter
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www.IONAZ.com September 2010
Phoenix
Storm Rugby
Fall New Player Orientation
September 25th
Practices every Tuesday and
Thursday 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm.
as well as select Saturdays at
Longview Elementary School
1209 E. Indian School Rd.
Phoenix
www.phoenixstorm.org
Phoenix Unified
Gay Bowling
Alliance
Get a lucky strike and pick up
a spare at one of the many
bowling leagues around the
Valley! Visit
www.pugba.prit.net
AZ Frontrunners
Weekly walking and running
activities abound in The Phoenix Metro Area! Join the group
and make it a social event!
azfrontrunners.com
Upcoming Event - AIDS Walk
www.aidswalkphoenix.org
Arizona
Roller Derby
You may not find the Kansas
City Bomber, but you will run
into quite a few badass bombshells! You might even catch a
rowdy, rollicking fight or two.
www.azrollerderby.com
September 2010
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September 2010
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Vol. 4, Issue 5
SEPTEMBER 2010
OUTRAGEOUS!
OUTRAGEOUS!
Unfair and unbalanced. We decide.
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
“F” is for Foreclosure.
Bad Economy hits Sesame Street.
OUTRAGEOUS!
SESAME
STREET, New
York – After more
than 40 years at
the same address
of 123 on a
nondescript, urban,
slightly decaying
inner city street
somewhere in the
five boroughs of
New York City,
the economic
downturn has hit Big Bird’s neighborhood.
Hard. H-A-R-D.
during filming.
Head Provisions
Company, a
producer of fine
delicatessen meats
and other products.
The object of her
affection, Sesame
Street mascot
Kermit the Frog
will work for the
Discovery Channel
during “Shark
Week” as live bait
Longtime “roommates” Bert and Ernie
“This is indeed sad,” said a PBS executive.
“We realize two generations of kids have
‘grown up’ on Sesame Street. But it’s time
to face reality. Sesame Street suffered
from urban blight for years. The junkies,
whores, and bums have moved in. Families
are moving out. It’s time to redevelop this
crappy neighborhood.”
landlord’s bank foreclosed on their
building and are packing to move to San
Francisco. Big Bird has plans to migrate
to Florida and live in the Everglades in
a government funded aviary for retarded
birds. Grover may finish out his days at
Bellevue Hospital, as he shows signs of
being incapable of taking care of himself.
Miss Piggy received a job offer
working as a spokesmodel for Boar’s
After Sesame Street is demolished, art
directors from Disney and Pixar are
contracted to create a theme park called,
“The Sesame Street Experience,” which
will duplicate Sesame Street, but with
animatronics and high school drama club
kids acting like the characters instead. “It’ll
be more like Sesame Street than Sesame
Street,” said one producer. “Except it won’t
smell like urine or Big Bird shit.”
“This stinks,” said Oscar the Grouch.
They said that there’s going to be some
kind of Federal Stimulus dollars that’s
going to tear down the whole street and
make way for Starbuck’s after Starbuck’s.”
OUTRAGEOUS!
ANY
RESEMBLANCE
TOafter
THE
received
their eviction notice
theirTRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
OUTRAGEOUS!
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
OUTRAGEOUS!
GLBT Boycott Target.
Sales Plummet.
OUTRAGEOUS!
OUTRAGEOUS!
MINNEAPOLIS,
Minn. – Hundreds
of thousands of
angry Gays across
America have
turned their backs
on the venerated
Temple of Target
sinceRESEMBLANCE
CEO Gregg
ANY
Steinhafel donated
$150K to antiGay politician,
Minnesota state
representative
Tom Emmer.
Cities Gay Pride
Festival, too.
P.J. Emmenthal
and her partner,
Marge DeGroot also
support the boycott
of the popular
bigbox
department
TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY
ACCIDENTAL
store. “We buy
Archer Farms
peanuts and chips
and lots of the Wine
Cubes there. This
really sucks, man.”
The aisles of Targets
“Ooh, this burns
are virtually ghost
me up, girlfriend”
towns without the
said Bruce St.
Gays shopping for
Jacques, hairdresser. “Me and my partner,
Mossimo.
Markuss, shop at ‘Le Tarzhay’ – as we like
to call it – at least twice a week. I buy all of The GLBT community is rallying with
my Evolve
and Merona underwear
there.TRUTH
plansISonTRAGICALLY
a massive
march in
ANY
RESEMBLANCE
TOTO
THE
ACCIDENTAL
ANY
RESEMBLANCE
THEI TRUTH
ISorganizing
TRAGICALLY
ACCIDENTAL
wear it during the week and my pretentious front of the home of Justin Timberlake who
2x(ist) underwear on Friday and Saturday
plans to launch a clothing line in Target this
nights out, or to hot underwear party. We’re December.
gonna get all Huffington Post on their
asses!”
Meanwhile, the chicken community is also
planning a boycott of “super” Targets, and
Representative Emmer once supported
plans on pulling tainted eggs from their
chemical castration for sex offenders.
shelves in a show of solidarity.
Conversely, Target has donated to the Twin
OUTRAGEOUS!
OUTRAGEOUS!
OUTRAGEOUS!
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS
TRAGICALLY
ACCIDENTAL
September
2010 www.IONAZ.com
85
86
www.IONAZ.com Setember 2010
OUTRAGEOUS!
Paris vs. Lindsay:
“I’m worse than you!”
Hollywood Brats Battle It Out!
OUTRAGEOUS!
OUTRAGEOUS!
LOS ANGELES,
catch up with
Calif. – Too big
bad girl Lohan,
for People. Too
who has more
big for Google.
jail time and
Too big for even
better mug shots
Oprah. And that’s
than she. She’s
huge. In a overbeen “busted”
sized tabloid,
three times
beyond TMZ,
within the past
ANY
RESEMBLANCE
TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL
mega-clash
of the
year. Detained
titans, socialite
for marijuana
heiress Paris
at the World
Hilton dukes it
Cup, violated
out E! Channel
probation for
style with child
DUI and spent
star turned ADD
22 days in jail.
adult delinquent
It’s bloodlust,
Lindsay Lohan.
and Paris wants to
Who’ll win more damning publicity? The
up the ante. And she has a porno tape under
Parent Trap Brat or the No-Tell Hotel Heiress?
her belt.
OUTRAGEOUS!
What happened with Hilton’s recent SNAFU
Lohan, star of screen gems like Herbie Fully
in Vegas didn’t stay in Vegas. It ended up all
Loaded has made a career of making every
over the CNN, the internet, and every tabloid.
day Freaky Friday. She’s been in jail, had
ANY
RESEMBLANCE
TO
THE
TRUTH
IS
TRAGICALLY
ACCIDENTAL
ANY
RESEMBLANCE
TO
THE
ISmandated
TRAGICALLY
ACCIDENTAL
While
her step great-grandmother
Zsa
Zsa TRUTH
court
rehab, car accidents,
DUI, lost
Gabor was on her deathbed, Paris allegedly
passports, and rocked a SCRAM bracelet.
played Craps with cocaine – but got caught. As
police escorted Little Miss No Panties to the
Paris is hoping for a huge 10 to 20 penitentiary
“powder” room so she could apply lip balm, an payoff while Lindsay is calculating how to
eight-ball of coke fell out of a cheap purse she
make put herself on triple-secret-lifetime
claimed wasn’t hers, although it was stuffed
probation.
with her credit cards, $1300 cash, and half a tab
of Albuterol.
Agents and management are planning to
market a 2011 mugshot-a-day calendar of the
Sources report that Paris is on the fast track to
two desperadoes.
OUTRAGEOUS!
www.IONAZ.comACCIDENTAL
September 2010
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY
88
www.IONAZ.com September 2010
IONTUCSON
CLUBS, RESTAURANTS, AND NIGHTLIFE
1
Ain’t Nobody’s Biz
2900 E. Broadway
(520) 318-4838
2
Colors 5305 E. Speedway
(520) 323-1840
3
Howl at the Moon
915 W. Prince Rd.
(520) 293-7339
4
IBT’s
616 N. 4th Ave.
(520) 882-3053
5
Venture-N
1239 N. 6th Ave.
(520) 882-8224
6
Woody’s 3710 N. Oracle Rd.
(520) 292-6702
ACCOMODATIONS & LODGING
1
Doubletree Hotel at Reid Park
445 S. Alvernon Way
(520) 881-4200
2
Embassy Suites
5335 E. Broadway Blvd.
(520) 745-2700
3
La Posada Lodge and Casitas
5900 N. Oracle Rd. (520) 887-4800
4
Royal Elizabeth B&B
204 S. Scott Ave.
(877) 670-9022
September 2010
www.IONAZ.com 89
90
www.IONAZ.com September 2010
IONPHOENIX
1.
Amsterdam
Amsterdam
718N.
N.Central
Central Ave.
Phoenix
(602)258-6122
258-6122
718
Ave.- Downtown
- Downtown
PHX (602)
2.
Apollo’s
Apollo’s
5749 N. 7th St. - Phoenix
5749
N. 7th St. - Phoenix
3.
Bar 1
4.
NEW: Bliss / Rebar
901 N. 4th St. - Phoenix
(602) 795-1792
5.
BS West
7125 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale
(480) 945-9028
6.
Bunkhouse
Charlie’s
4428
N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix
727 W. Camelback Rd. - Phoenix
(602)
200-9154
(602) 265-0224
7.
Cash
Inn
Cherry
Bar
2140
Rd.Rd.- -Phoenix
1028E.E.McDowell
Indian School
Phoenix
(602)
(602)244-9943
277-7729
8.
Cherry Lounge Charlie’s
Every
starting
11th - Mill Ave.
in Tempe
727
W. Thursday
Camelback
Rd.January
- Phoenix
(602)
265-0224
9.
The Chute
Men’s Club
Cherry
Bar
1440E.
E Indian
Rd.Rd.
- Phoenix
(602)277-7729
234-1654
1028
IndianSchool
School
- Phoenix (602)
Clarendon Hotel
2424 E. Thomas Rd. - Phoenix
C
Bar 1
BS West
Bunkhouse
Cash Inn
10. Club Sutra
Club Vibe
3708 N. 16th St. - Phoenix
3702 N. 16th St. - Phoenix
7125 E. 5th Ave. - Scottsdale
4428 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix
2140 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix
401 W. Clarendon Ave. - Phoenix
3031 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 277-9373
(602)
277-9373
(602) 266-9001
(602) 266-9001
(480) 945-9028
(602) 200-9154
(602) 244-9943
(602) CLARENDON
(602) 955-9805
(602) 224-9977
11. Cruisin’ 7th
Cruisin’ 7th
Cabaret
12. Dick’s
3702 N. 7th St. - Phoenix
3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 274-DICK
13. FLEX Men’s Club
1517 S Black Canyon Hwy - Phoenix
(602) 271-9011
14. Forbidden
Forbidden
6820
Ave.- -Scottsdale
Scottsdale
6820E.
E.5th
5th Ave.
forbiddenaz.com
forbiddenaz.com
15. icepics
Homme videobar
3108
E. Camelback
McDowellRd.
Rd.
- Phoenix
138 W.
- Phoenix
(602)
(602)267-8707
266-0875
icepics videobar
16. Karamba
3108E.
E.McDowell
McDowell Rd.
- Phoenix
1724
Rd.
- Phoenix
(602)254-0231
267-8707
(602)
Incognito
17. Kobalt
2424 E. Thomas Rd. - Phoenix
3110
N. Central Ave. - Phoenix
(602) 955-9805
(602)
264-5307
Dick’s Cabaret
The Door
Karamba
18. Nu Towne
Kobalt
19. OZ
OZ
3702 N. 7th St. - Phoenix
3432 E. Illini Rd. - Phoenix
1126 N. Scottsdale Rd. - Tempe
1724 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix
5002 E Van Buren St. - Phoenix‎ 3110 N. Central Ave. - Phoenix
(602) 212-9888
(602) 212-9888
(602) 274-DICK
(480) 967-DOOR
(602) 254-0231
(602) 267-9959
(602) 264-5307
1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. - Phoenix (602) 242-5114
1804 W. Bethany Home Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 242-5114
20. Paradise Adult Boutique 130 W. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix
(602) 266-5869
21. Plazma
Pumphouse II
1560
E. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix
4132 E. McDowell Rd. - Phoenix
(602)
266-0477
(602) 275-3509
II
22. Pumphouse
Retro Bar
4132
- Phoenix
3114E.E.McDowell
Cactus Rd. Rd.
- Phoenix
(602)
(602)275-3509
493-0355
The Rock Cactus
23. Rainbow
4129 N.
Ave.Creek
- Phoenix
15615
N.7th
Cave
Rd. - Phoenix
(602)971-1086
248-8559
(602)
24.
4531N.
N.7th
7th St.
- Phoenix
4129
Ave.
- Phoenix
(602)248-8559
285-0833
(602)
Plazma
Roscoe’s
The
Rock
Rainbow Cactus
25. Roscoe’s
Velocity 26. Velocity Wild Card
27. Z Girl Club
Z Girl Club
1560 E. Osborn Rd. - Phoenix
15615 N. Cave Creek Rd. - Phoenix
4531 N. 7th St. - Phoenix
2303 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix
2303 E. Indian School Rd. - Phoenix
801 N. Arizona Ave. - Chandler
4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix 4301 N. 7th Ave. - Phoenix (602) 266-0477
(602) 867-2463
(602) 285-0833
(602) 956-2885
(602) 956-2885
(480) 857-3088
(602) 265-3233
(602) 265-3233
September 2010 www.IONAZ.com 91
IONBAR GUIDE
PHOENIX
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
Amsterdam
Amsterdam’s Signature Night
Happy Hour 4-7pm
Dance - No Cover!
$3 Smirnoff cocktails until Mid.
Arts, Industry & ION VIP Night
1/2 price drinks *KARAOKE*
Apollo’s
Frat Party 9pm
50¢ domestic drafts
$1 Bud Light Drafts 2-8p
Karaoke 9pm
$1 Bud Light Drafts 2-8p
Male Strippers 10:30pm
Bar 1
Friday Happy Hour 4-7p
10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft
Saturday $2 dom bottle 6-9p
10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft
$2 Brown Bagged Beer
10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft
Happy Hour 2-4-1 well
$5 martinis-$5 wine-$3 all beer
$3 champagne cocktails
$10 mimosas pitch.-$4 Marys
3-7pm: $10 buckets of beer
$5 Bliss Box
BS West
FUBAR with Elements 9:45p
$5 you call it drink & $3 beers
2-4-1 everything all night
Go-go dancers - A new tradition
Karaoke 9pm
$1 Miller Lite drafts
Charlie’s
$3 pitchers/2-4-1 well/dom 2-7p
$1 Happy Hour 7-9p/Afterhours
$3 pitch./2-4-1 well/dom 12-7p
$1 Happy Hour 7-9p/Afterhours
Volleyball 4-7pm, NEW 3-4-1
$3 Long Islands, $3 pitchers
Cherry Bar
2-4-1 You Call It!
5pm - close
2-4-1 You Call It!
5pm - close
NFL Tailgate Brunch 10a-2p
$5 Kill-a-Keg w/ Lady Christian
Dick’s Cabaret
2-4-1 VIP Dances
7pm ‘til 9pm
Off the Hook
Tons of Prizes & Giveaways
2-4-1 Cover Charge, Dances &
VIP Wristbands
$3 Pomegranate Presses
$3 Bottle Beer
& Tequila Shots
$3 Brunch Drinks
50% off bottles of wine
Forbidden
Crotch Rockitt
The Barbra Seville Show
DJ Dancing
Sports Beer Bust Food specials
Happy Hour
icepics
MEAT - Hot Go Go Dancers
$2.50 dom / $3 well / $4 Lg Isl.
80s Happy Hour
The Follies 10pm
Show Tunes - Happy Hour
2pm-8pm
The Leathermen
NEW: Roscoe’s
10:00p- 1:00a
Cruisin’ 7th |
Plazma
4:30p - 7:00p | 10:30p - 1:30p
Karamba
Fridays
$4 Pitchers
Saturdays
$4 Pitchers
Sundays with Galilea
$3 pitchers
R Maizie’s
Happy Hour
3-6pm Everyday
Happy Hour Brunch 9a-2p
3-6pm Everyday
Brunch All Day
R Mi Patio
Fridays
$1.25 Margaritas on the rocks
Saturdays
$1.25 Margaritas on the rocks
Sundays
$1.25 Margaritas on the rocks
R My Florist Cafe
Fridays
$1.25 Margaritas on the rocks
Saturdays
$1.25 Margaritas on the rocks
Sundays
$1.25 Margaritas on the rocks
R Roscoe’s*
NEW: The Leathermen!
Great Happy Hour
All Star Grill
Opens at 11am
NFL Sunday Party
$8 Long Island Pitchers
R Switch
Fridays
Open from 11am-Midnight
Saturday
Open from 11am-Midnight
Sundays
Open from 11am-Midnight
R Ticoz
Fridays
Open from 11am-Midnight
Saturday $1 brunch drinks
Open from 11am-Midnight
Sundays $1 brunch drinks
Open from 11am-Midnight
R NEW! Bliss / Rebar
R FEZ
R
92
FULL MENU
FRIDAY
* LIMITED MENU/TIMES
www.IONAZ.com September 2010
The Sexy Lea
FREE PROJECT HARD HAT CONDOMS
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY
Martinis & Manicures
$5 Martinis
MONDAY
Arts, Industry & ION VIP Night
1/2 price drinks
College Night
1/2 price drinks with student ID
Divas Live!
$3 Diva Shots during the show
Drag Bingo
2 for 1 U Call-It Open-Close
‘Tini Tuesdays
2-4-1 Call Martinis Open-Close
Happy Hour
All day / All night
Karaoke 9:30pm
Monday $1 Bud Lt. Drft 4-cl.
10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft
KAROKE $2.50 wel, dom
10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft
$1 OFF in your undies/leather
10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft
Thursday 2-4-1 U Call It 10a- cl
10a-4p $1.75 well/ bud draft
Happy Hour 2-4-1 well
$5 martinis-$5 wine-$3 all beer
Happy Hour 2-4-1 well
$5 martinis-$5 wine-$3 all beer
2-4-1 Everything 9pl-close
(excludes shots)
Happy Hour 2-4-1 well
$5 martinis-$5 wine-$3 all beer
W.H.O.R.E. Service Industry
$2 dom $3 well $4 bombers
Community Benefit/Fundraiser
Book you event @ bswest.com
2-4-1 All Day and All Night
A valley tradion!
Karaoke 9pm
$2 drafts
Underwear Party 8-cl 1/2 price 2-8p $3 pitch./2-4-2 well/dom
2-8pm $3 pitch. 2-4-1 well/dom 8p-Close 2-4-1 cocktails/dom
2-8p $3 pitch./2-4-1 well/dom
8p-close $3 Pinnacle
2-4-1 All Day!
Cocktails and beer
Happy Hour 3-8pm
Karaoke 9p-close
Happy Hour 3-8pm
Reverse Happy Hour 11pm-cl
2-4-1 You Call It!
ALL DAY / ALL NIGHT
Happy Hour 3-8pm
$5 Martinis 8pm-close
2-4-1 Cover Charge, Dances,
VIP Wristbands
Amateur Night
Starts at 10pm
S.I.N. Bring Your Dancer ID
and get VIP Pricing
Hot Studs All Night Long
$5.00 Off with VIP Keychain
$3 Burgers
$3 Margaritas
‘tini Tuesdays
$3 Martinis
$20 Any Bottle of Wine
and small plate
$3 G Spots
Closed Mondays
Open Tuesday-Sunday 4p-2a
Happy Hour 3-7pm
Karaoke w/ Brad 9pm
Happy Hour 3-7pm
Showroom Trivia 7pm
Inferno Party
18+ Hotspot
MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL
2-4-1 beer/well during game!
2-4-1 Wells & Beers
All day and night
Karaoke 9pm-close
2-4-1 in undies beer/well 9p-cl
$3 Three Olives Thursdays
athermen perform at Roscoe’s, Cruisin’ 7th and Plazma!
Cruisin’ 7th
10:30p - 12:30p
Closed
Tuesday with Grecias
$2 Drinks All Night
$3 Bistro Burgers
$10.00 off of all Bottled Wines
Wednesday BBQ Short Ribs
Tuesday Night Fish & Chips
Selected Beers $3 Starts @ 5pm Selected Beers $3 Starts @ 5pm
Happy Hour
3-6pm Everyday
Mondays
$1.25 Margaritas on the rocks
Tuesdays
$1.25 Margaritas on the rocks
Wednesdays
$1.25 Margaritas on the rocks
Thursdays
$1.25 Margaritas on the rocks
Mondays
$1.25 Margaritas on the rocks
Tuesdays
$1.25 Margaritas on the rocks
Wednesdays
$1.25 Margaritas on the rocks
Thursdays
$1.25 Margaritas on the rocks
Monday
Pool Tournament
2 for Tuesdays
2-4-1 drinks all day
Wednesday
All Day Happy Hour
Thursdays
2-4-1 7pm
Mondays
Open from 11am-Midnight
Tuesdays
Open from 11am-Midnight
Wednesdays
Open from 11am-Midnight
Thursdays
Open from 11am-Midnight
Mondays
Open from 11am-Midnight
Tuesdays
11am-Midnight
Wednesdays
11am-Midnight
Thursdays
11am-Midnight
Wednesdays with Diamond
$2 Drinks All Night
Thursdays with Ruby & Tyra
$2 drinks all night
ION ARIZONA
September 2010
www.IONAZ.com 93
94
www.IONAZ.com September 2010
by Addison DeWitt
As summer winds down I’m ear
to the ground, and eye at the keyhole – that’s
keyhole – as I cover the waterfront. Although
the waterfront at Tempe Town Lake is at a
low ebb.
But I did visit the dried up banks of the
Lake when I went to the Marquee Theatre
to see American Idol alum Adam Lambert
(who was never, ever a stripper, as far as I
know) perform in all of his eyeliner glory. The
audience was a combination of screaming,
weeping ‘Tweens, screaming,
weeping, overweight, middleaged housewives and
screaming, weeping,
but nattily bedecked
and bedazzled Gay
boys – all goofy for
Glambert.
Kevin Axx, DDS. Kevin’s
an expert in Implantology. And, honey, I
know a good implant when I get one, – I
mean see one – if you know what I mean. I’m
tempted to schedule a series of unnecessary
root canals with Dr. Axx soon, just so I can
scream, “Christina! Bring me Dr. Axx!” *
I also spotted the fiducially responsible David
Mendoza, bank manager for Comerica Bank,
FDIC as well as NOT&C (that’s National
Organization of Tattletales & Commentators.
Another highly respected syndicate of which
I am the founder. And sole member.) There’s
just something about David that whenever
I see him I get all hot and bothered
thinking about his interest
compounding. Daily. How I’d
love to grab hold of that
roll of silver dollars in his
pocket. I’d give David
the key to my Safe
Deposit Box anytime.
America’s Dreamiest
Just before the
Optometrist and
Primary Elections,
a member of the
while dining at the
A.O.A., as well as
fabulous My Florist
recognized by the
Café, I met the very
Doctor!
Doctor!
Dave
world renowned,
capable Democratic
Thomas & Kevin Axx
accredited ASCWSK
Attorney General nominee
(Agency of Society
Felecia Rotellini drumming
Columnists Who Should
up votes. She exhorted the
Know. A distinguished community
crowd to vote, promising to “put
I just now founded) Dr. Dave Thomas
an end to lifetime career politicians.”
who can whisper sweet nothings about
While running for the vacated seat of a
Macular Degenerations in my ear anytime.
lifetime career politician (Terry Goddard)
The good doctor arrived with Amsterdam’s
and surrounded by a few lifetime career
best damn bartender, Josh Zitting.
politicians. Oopsies! It’s okay, honey. I put my
foot in other people’s mouths all the time. I
It’s sports season! Basketball, Volleyball,
told her, “Felecia, honey, I just love Rotellini
Football, Softball ... I just love anything to
pasta!” She gets my vote!
do with balls, really! Especially Meatballs.
Raising funds for BS West’s team at the
Here’s an award for Kiki Vermont to check
club one Saturday night included America’s
off of her Bucket List: she’s the Party
Most Gorgeous & Board Eligible Endodontist,
certified, licensed and approved by the
* a clever, campy reference to cult classic
AANSC (American Association of Nosey
Mommie Dearest, a 1981 film about screen
Society Columnists. Another prestigious
legend Joan Crawford. Very popular with the
organization just now founded by me.), Dr.
Gays.
September 2010
www.IONAZ.com 95
by Addison DeWitt
Penguin of the Month! Kiki recently
hosted the Lady G After Party
where RuPaul’s Drag Race star
Jessica Wild rocked the place
Puerto Rico style. Kiki will be
touring Texas and Puerto Rico
with Jessica soon. Plus, our
freaky little Kiki just celebrated
her birthday where she was
roasted, toasted and broasted
by her “fellow” ladyboy
drag queens. And, yes,
I hear that she and Mya
McKenzie high-society airkissed and made nice-nice. At
last! They’ll be performing
together soon. And a little
bird tells me that Kiki’s got
a “promise” from her ohso-handsome beau,
Josh. Ain’t love
grand?
Love. Bah! I
think I’ll make
an appointment
to discuss my
eyeballs’ rods
and cones with
Dr. Thomas,
get some quality
post-traumatic dental
micro-suturing from Dr.
Axx discuss amortization
rates with David Mendoza. The
fun never ends here, folks!
Write to Addison at
RumorHound@aol.com
22nd Anniversary
96
www.IONAZ.com September 2010
September 2010
www.IONAZ.com 97
Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20
Economy and thrift are not your greatest
virtues. Watch your spendthrift ways! Clip
coupons, hit the all-u-can-eat Chinese
Buffets, drink at Happy Hours only, and go
to Dick’s Cabaret for two-fer table dances.
There’s a happy medium somewhere.
Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20
When one door closes, another one opens.
Make sure it’s not a trapdoor that someone
opens for you. There’s another way to get in.
Take the stairs. Not only is it a good cardio
workout, you’ll be be rewarded. And your
legs will look fabulous!
Gemini May 21 - June 21
Look, but don’t touch. Keep your eyes open
and your hands to yourself for once. You’ll
discover that your powers of observation
are more apparent and you’ll see things in a
whole new light.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
It’s all about attitude for you this month.
Pretend you’re an egg! Focus, or you’ll end
up scrambled. Rest, or you’ll feel fried. Stay
open-minded or you’ll be hard-boiled. Keep
your sunny side up! Or you may get recalled.
Leo July 23 - Aug. 22
You’ve been under pressure. Take some time
to get your ya-yas out. Maybe it’s exercise.
Maybe it’s a day at the movies. Maybe it’s
shopping. Or it may be something as easy as
masturbating. Whatever it takes – do it. But
not ‘til you go blind.
Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22
It’s not always easy finding answers in one
sentence. But if it’s your birthday, “The world
is your oyster.” Open it to find your pearl!
Other Virgos will find the beauty in something
others find ugly. Like Miley Cyrus. Only
uglier.
98
www.IONAZ.com
September 2010
Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22
Look up in the sky! No, a little to the left. You
don’t see it? The cosmos are trying to show
you something, but you need to concentrate.
For the birthday Libra expect a surprise.
It might be shooting star, or it could be
inconspicuous. But it’s out there.
Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23
You’ve remembered to fetch something that
you once disregarded. Was it an old t-shirt? A
book? Or maybe it was a friendship? Both of
them fit and were once among your favorites.
They can still be.
Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23
Did you start this month off on the wrong
foot? Do you remember if it was the right or
left? It doesn’t matter. But retrace your steps.
You’ll gain new perspective. Then go buy
some new shoes for both feet! Why not?
Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20
Someone out there thinks you’re the most
fabulous person in the world. The whole,
wide, world! Out of roughly 6,864,132,832
that’s a real accomplishment! You’re so
special your face should be on a bumper
sticker! Just remember that.
Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19
Life’s temptations and follies are and endless
source of entertainment for you. You’ll be
better off if you avoid these lures. Pitfalls will
compromise your pride if you persist. Opt for
a more virtuous path. You won’t be a saint,
but it’s a start.
Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20
Pay attention to those who are trying to
get on your good side. They may not have
good intentions. Easy to flatter, you fall for a
compliment too easily. Be canny and careful.
But that top looks so cute on you! See? You
fell for it again!
September 2010 www.IONAZ.com 99

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