Fall 2015/Winter 2016 - Safe Haven Domestic Abuse and Sexual

SAFE HAVEN
Domestic Abuse & Sexual Assault Support Center
PO Box 665
Shawano, WI 54166
Fall 2015 - Winter 2016
Mission: To encourage a safe community, free of physical and sexual violence and emotional abuse,
through shelter, caring, advocacy and education.
October is Domestic
Violence Awareness Month
Rick Kane
Chairman Of The Board
Jody Johnson
Vice-Chairman/Secretary
Sue True
Treasurer
Kelly Bueschel
Lois Flaig
Tom Grover
Leann Gueths
Rob Mickelson
Scott Parson
Kelley Swartz
Vision: To be a catalyst for change and to break the cycle of violence so individuals or families can
become healthy, self sufficient and independent.
TAKE A STEP BACK
Risks Victims Face When Stepping Forward
If leaving were easy, or guaranteed safety….
The cycle of violence would cease to exist. Perpetrators would realize that committing the crime of domestic violence against a person they are supposed to love would
cause them to leave. Fewer children would have to grow up in abusive homes and
suffer the effects of watching the abuse of a parent they love.
People in our community are typically surprised to hear that Safe Haven is busy and
that the emergency shelter houses 6-8 families at any given time. 2014 marked the
first time a waiting list was developed. Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior in
which an abuser aims to maintain power and control over the victim. It can involve
verbal abuse, physical assault, controlling access to financial resources, abuse of pets,
and isolation from friends and family. Domestic violence is not about stress,
depression or alcohol causing an abuser to be violent.
If leaving were easy, or guaranteed safety….
Stacey Cicero
Executive Director
Sue Dionne
Shelter Supervisor
Marla Rhoads-Etten
DV Victim Advocate
Shelby Mitchell
SA Victim Advocate
Kandi Krueger
Children’s Advocate
Abbi Lonick
Administrative Assistant
Rhonda Thurman
Shelter Assistant
Shelter Advocates
Chelsea Bahr
Crystal Bowman
Karli Bunt
Nicki Lampinen
Jo Maki
Lori Natzke
Michelle Oreskovic
Adelaida Vazquez
Stephanie Zeinert
After 14 years of being the director of Safe Haven, I am still disturbed that there are
abusive people that feel entitled to hurt others, especially those they claim to love and
cherish. I am also disappointed that people are still asking the questions, “Why do
women stay in an abusive relationship? Why do they go back? Why don’t they just
leave?” The questions I wish people would ask are, “Why does he keep doing that?
Why does he think he can break the law and not be held accountable? Why is it ok to
teach children that violence is an appropriate way to communicate and show love?
How can we help and put an end to the abuse?”
If leaving were easy, or guaranteed safety…
Maybe they would just leave. In reality, leaving doesn’t guarantee anything except
uncertainty. Next time you are wondering why women stay, take a step back and ask
yourself, why does he think he can do that? Then be supportive and reach out for
help.
Domestic violence continues to be an under reported crime. Many victims are too
afraid or embarrassed to reach out for help. If you or someone you know is a victim
of domestic violence, please take that step forward.
Stacey Cicero
Executive Director
Understanding Teen Dating Violence
Kandi Krueger, Children’s Advocate
June 25, 2015 a north Alabama teenager was arrested after authorities say he killed six of his mother’s chickens in a
bizarre threat after asking her to FIX his relationship with HIS girlfriend. This young man was arrested and charged with
domestic violence and criminal mischief. The Deputies reported he threatened to kill one of his mother’s chickens every 15
minutes until she contacted his girlfriend’s parents and attempted to mend their relationship. The teenager gave his mother a
noon deadline before he started killing the chickens. He was able to kill 6 chickens before he was arrested. But this was not
the only threat or act he had done. This young man had also threatened to burn his mother’s house down, kill deputies and
himself. This is a true story, and it also happens in our area. Are you seeing it? Are you doing anything to stop it or help
those who need it in these relationships?
June 16, 2015 a 17 year old girl is dead after her boyfriend backed over her with a truck according to police in Millcreek, Utah. The driver who was also her boyfriend at the time had just had a verbal
 Violent behavior often begins be- argument with her. She had went into the house to get something and returned to the
tween the ages of 12 and 18.
yard where her boyfriend was sitting in his truck waiting for her. Little did her family
 The severity of intimate partner
realize her last words to her mother were going to be, “I just think I love him mom”.
violence is often greater in cases
What the argument was over or how it all started is irrelevant to the family or anyone.
where the pattern of abuse was
None of that will bring this pretty young lady back. None of that will change the past.
established in adolescence.
This too is a true story, and this too happens around us. Stop it from happening in
 Only 33% of teens who were in an your family.
abusive relationship ever told anyBut what will change all of this? What can we do to make sure nothing like
one about the abuse.
this ever happens in our area? That is exactly what the teens of the FAAR (Fighting
Against Abusive Relationships) is asking themselves. The FAAR club in the Shawano
Community High School is looking for more ways to spread awareness to their peers. The ultimate goal is to stop dating
violence before it starts. Strategies that promote healthy relationships are vital. During the preteen and teen years, young
people are learning skills they need to form positive relationships with others. This is an ideal time to promote healthy
relationships and prevent patterns of dating violence that can last into adulthood.
Unhealthy relationships can start early and last a lifetime. Teens often think some behaviors, like teasing and name
calling, area a “normal” part of a relationship. However, these behaviors can become abusive and develop into more serious
forms of violence. Many teens do not report it because they are afraid to tell friends and family.
So if you know a teen or anyone who is in a tough situation and needs some extra support or help because they are
in an abusive relationship, reach out to them. Let them know they are not alone, and it is not their fault.
RESOURCES:
Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
Web Sites:
WOMEN WORKING
IT OUT
SUPPORT GROUP
Safe Haven, Shawano
www.shawanoshelter.org
End Domestic Abuse WI
www.enddomesticabusewi.org
Wisconsin Coalition Against
Sexual Assault
www.wcasa.org
COMMUNITY
PRESENTATIONS
Would you like to have Safe Haven
present to your club, business or
organization? Topics include: general
shelter information, training relating to
domestic violence, sexual assault, sexual harassment, dating violence,
stalking and child abuse.
For more information call
715-526-3421
NEW HOPE ~
SUPPORT GROUP
CHILDREN’S
SUPPORT GROUP
For Women ages 45+ who
are experiencing abuse and
need continued support,
advocacy, information, and
safety planning while
working on their relationship.
For women who have
experienced difficult
relationships in the
past or present or have
experienced physical,
emotional, verbal or sexual
abuse in their lifetime.
Children’s group is offered in
conjunction with our adult
support group.
Tuesday Mornings
9:30-10:30 am
Childcare Is Available
Pre-Registration Required
Thursday Evenings
Supper 5:00-6:00pm
Group 6:00-7:00pm
For children who have been
involved in or a witness to
domestic violence
Thursday Evenings
Supper 5:00-6:00pm
Group 6:00-7:00pm
Please call our 24-hour crisis line at (715) 526-3421 or
(888) 303-3421 for more information about our groups
or to speak with an advocate.
Check out our website at www.shawanoshelter.org
“Like” us on Facebook (Safe Haven of Shawano County)
All Victim Services are Free and Confidential
The Anti-Rape Movement
By: Shelby Mitchell, Sexual Assault Victim’s Advocate
The word “rape” is derived from the Latin word “rapere”, meaning “to steal, seize, or carry away.” Forcible seizure and rape were accepted methods of claiming a wife in early history – and, in some cultures, this still occurs.
Throughout most of history, rape was not viewed as a crime because women were considered property, and, therefore, without rights. Rape was initially considered a crime only in terms of the property violation of another man.
Punishment was delivered to a man who damaged the husband’s property – his wife – by rape. Very often the raped
woman would also be punished as an adulteress, regardless of her lack of complicity in the assault. (Praxis International)
From the Middle Ages, through slavery and many wars, women have been hurt deeply by the effects of rape.
Through their pain, women gradually began asserting their voices in saying no to sexual violence. In the 1970’s,
walking the path forged by so many before them, the Anti-Rape Movement was officially conceived. From this movement the first rape crisis centers were developed, battered women’s shelter were built, Title IX was created; protecting people from discrimination based on gender in educational programs or activities that receive Federal financial
assistance.
Forty years after the creation of the Anti-Rape Movement, we continue to work diligently to bring equally and justice to those effected by sexual violence. As Martin Luther King Jr. once stated “ Injustice anywhere is a threat to
justice everywhere.”
A BIG thank you to the 2015 Garden Walk gardeners, sponsors, &
volunteers!
The weather was beautiful and more than 320 people walked through 4 remarkable gardens in the area! Thank
you to all who helped make this event a success!
Gardeners
Les & Judy Mlsna, Todd & Mary Raether, John & Soon Stezenski, & Karen Childs
Sponsors
Rose($350) -Edward Jones-Jon Aumann, Market Messenger, Shawano Lawn & Stone, Shawano Medical Center
Tulip($200) -BMO Harris, WI Film & Bag, CoVantage Credit Union, Qualheim’s True Value, Fox Communities
Credit Union, Olson’s Rural Electric, Little Rapids Corp.-Shawano Paper Mill, North Star
Casino, Shawano Lake Lioness
● If someone you know has a beautiful yard they would like
to share, please give us a call at 715-526-3421 and we will
put you on the list of possible gardens.
Flower Winner– Joan Kosnicki
Welcome Bench Winner-Mary Allbaugh
Flower made and donated by Tony Cicero
Bench made and donated by Eugene Young
THANK YOU TO OUR GENEROUS DONORS
April — September 2015
Many community members donate their time, talent, goods and services to Safe Haven. We thank all who generously
contribute to our program to make it successful. The following have donated a $1,000 or more to Safe Haven,
those in purple have donated $10,000 or more.
City of Shawano, GoodWill, Shawano County, ThedaCare, Thrivent Financial, Tom’s Tap Golf Outing, United Way of
Shawano County
Welcome Abbi Lonick, New Safe Haven Administrative Assistant!
The Dept. of Children & Families Basic Services Grant
Hello! My name is Abbi Lonick and I am the new Administrative Assistant at Safe Haven. I started working here in August 2015. My duties include general office support, data entry, assisting
other staff with various tasks, assisting with clients as needed, and marketing through the use of
social media. I have two small children, both girls, who keep me on my toes! My hobbies include
spending time with my family, working out & staying active, and reading. I have been a resident
of Shawano most of my life and love being a part of such a close knit community. I am still learning a lot here at Safe Haven and I truly enjoy working side by side with such a wonderful team. I
am very grateful for the opportunity to work at an organization that supports our community in
times of need.
Books!
Usborne Books & Gloria Grys, Wendy Crawford, Mary Ellen Felts, & Martha Johnson
Safe Haven recently received a shipment of over $300 in free books, courtesy of generous donors and Usborne Books. The “Literacy for a Lifetime” program is a matching grant, which provides 50% in additional free books for any donations over $200 to any organization or school.
Pictured is Kandi Krueger, Children’s Advocate for Safe Haven
Front Landscaping
New Stove & Large Cooler
Master Gardeners
NEWCAP Emergency Solutions Grant
A big thank you to the Master Gardeners for our landscaping. The front of the building looks beautiful!
We now have a very large-spacious cooler to replace our outdated, non-efficient refrigerator as well as a more efficiently
working
stove.
Faster Internet & Ongoing Service
Video Nook
Bertram Wireless Granite Wave
We recently received updated equipment to increase our
internet speed.
Earl Maki
Prior to the video nook, videos were kept in a locked office.
With this new addition, shelter residents are able to access the
movie selection easier.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Domestic Violence Prevention is 365 Days a Year
Volunteers in the News…
One of the positions that I oversee at Safe Haven is Volunteer Coordinator. Getting to meet new people and work with them in our daily activities is a very rewarding experience. It is great when we have
a need and are able to call a volunteer to complete the task for us. We have some very committed volunteers that take on huge tasks for us. Gary & Sue Thoma have taken on the weekly lawn care at Safe
Haven. This is very gracious of them and our lawn has never been so well groomed. We also have
some new volunteers that take care of the maintenance, as well as picking up donated furniture. Alden
Dionne and Gabe Lepak have done this for years and now Bob Hawley and Art and Mary Freiberg
Sue Dionne
have offered their trailers and muscle to help with this task. Donna Nienke has done phones and
Shelter Supervisor
doors for us for years and Carol Schmidt has done office support since we have existed. Earl Maki has
done some carpentery work for us in shelter. We are so very thankful for all of our Volunteers no matter how long you
have been involved with our agency. We could not continue to serve the hundreds of victims of domestic violence and
sexual assault without your support. If you want to get involved as a volunteer and have any questions, please contact us
at 715-526-3421.
HOW TO RECOGNIZE A DOMESTIC ABUSE VICTIM
Is she/he secretive about the relationship with their spouse or significant other?
Do they live in fear of their spouse or significant other?
Do they have unexplained or frequent injuries?
Does their description of her relationship just not ring true?
Is she/he often sick or depressed?
Do they express fear of their husband or significant other's anger?
Marla Rhoads-Etten,
Are they afraid of others finding out about the problems in the relationship?
MSW
Are they afraid to be late getting home?
DV Victims' Advocate
Do they believe it is their responsibility to hold the relationship together, no
matter what is done to them?
10. Do they describe all their problems as being their fault?
11. Do they blame themselves for their persons’ problems and abuse towards them?
12. Is she isolated from friends, family, social life, education, work or church? Are her movements constantly tracked by her boyfriend or husband?
13. Does his extreme jealousy require that she justify her every move?
14. Does she express hope that the relationship will improve and he will finally see his need for
change?
15. Do her children cling to her as if to protect her or speak disrespectfully and abusively to her?
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IMPACT… Intervention and Education Program for Women Who Use Force
Safe Haven now offers the IMPACT program which addresses the needs of women who have committed domestic violence and who have a history of victimization.
IMPACT is a 16-week education and skill building group. The goal of the program is for participants to demonstrate increased knowledge about personal responsibility and accountability for thoughts, feelings, and actions resulting in positive, effective, and safe coping skills. Call for more details : 715-526-3421.
Safe Haven
P.O. Box 665
Shawano, WI 54166
Upcoming Events!
Candle Light Vigil & Open House
October 8, 2015 @ Safe Haven
5-7:00 pm
Crop to Stop Violence
February 5 & 6, 2016
Bowl-a-thon
March 12, 2016
Would you like to receive this newsletter via email?
Please email your contact information to:
Help@shawanoshelter.org
or visit our website and view the newsletter.
VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES
●
Do you find yourself looking to give back to your
community?
●
Are you someone who wishes to make a difference in the
lives of others?
●
Have you given thought to becoming a volunteer in your
community?
It doesn’t matter if you have a lot of time to give or if your
time is limited. Safe Haven is always in need of volunteers.
Volunteer opportunities include: Serving on the Board of
Directors, Special Events, Front Desk/Crisis Line Receptionist,
Childcare Provider, Support Group Assistance, Client
Transportation, Donation Sorter, Maintenance/General Labor,
Moving Furniture, Language Interpretation, Office Assistance.
For more complete descriptions and an application, check out
our website at www.shawanoshelter.org and click on
Donors/Volunteers
Shelter Stats Jan.-June 2015
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The shelter provided safe housing for 32 women and 28 children, average length of stay days was 29.2 days, 1,261 bed
nights (6 women returned to shelter more than one time during
the year)
Answered 875 crisis calls (815 Female, 60 Male)
Completed 13 restraining orders
Completed 354 safety plans with victims and 40 with their
children
Provided support group to 28 women, 17 children
Provided services to 300 victims (225 women, 19 men and 56
children)
Received 3 SANE calls, completed 3 Sexual Assault forensic
(SANE) exams
Presented to 38 classrooms grades K-12
Gave 3 community presentations to 68 people
Provided 67 community awareness activities
Provided 2 professional trainings to 84 people
65 Volunteers logged 934.5 hours
92 DV and 17 SA cases referred to the district attorney’s office
Safe Haven Wish List
 Gift Cards (Grocery Stores, Wal-Mart) & Gas Cards
 Disinfectant Clorox Wipes, Paper towels
Styrofoam Plates, Plastic Forks, Table Napkins
 Regular Coffee, Filters, Creamer
 Diapers size 4 & 5
 Non-perishable food items, Canned Soup, Canned Pasta
 Fruit Juices (frozen or bottled)