barefacts-issue1065-231003 - University of Surrey Students` Union

Thursday
23 October 2003
Published by the USSU
Communications Office
issue number 1065
free
www.ussu.co.uk
THE UNIVERSITY
STUDENT DEBT?
OF
GU2 HEAD TO RADIO 1
Natalie Howard gives
a different view on Top
Up Fees, being part of the
year who will be the first to
experience them in 2006.
As part of GU2’s prize for
winning ‘Best Student Radio
Station of the Year’, Mr Mental
and P spend some time at Radio
One HQ in London.
Volunteering| page 5
Communication | page 8
SURREY STUDENTS’ NEWSPAPER
I N T H I S W E E K ’ S PA P E R
V PROJECT | Carol Main tells of her trip to
Aldershot Forest to be on TV | page 6
EXTRA TERRESTRIAL | Some nice and scary
Halloween films for us all | page 17
PROFESSIONAL | Lorne Smith gives the
views of a 1970s USSU President | page 9
Watch Your Drink
BY CHRIS WARD
EDITOR
AFTER INCREASED INCIDENTS in Guildford Town Centre
involving drink-spiking, Surrey Police in Guildford are
introducing a new initiative warning people to watch their
drinks.
This mirrors the recent incident at the University
of Cambridge where two freshers found themselves
experiencing the symptoms of Rohypnol, one of the drugs
commonly misused by attackers to make potential victims
lose consciousness. Cambridge University are conducting
their own investigation on the matter.
John Ford, senior tutor at Caius college said: “The safety
of our students is of paramount importance... If any member
of a college was involved, there is no way it could be treated
apart from with the utmost severity”. In regards to the
students involved, he reported: “They both wish to get on
with their first term at college and have put the incident
behind them”.
USSU’s VP Education and Welfare, Claire Iles, emphasised
the importance of creating awareness of the possibility of
such events occurring on a night out. She pointed out that
although a lot of women socialise using swizzle-sticks that
change colour when they come into contact with a drug, the
publicity they have is misleading.
Claire commented: “The swizzle sticks and beer mats only
react to a few drugs, whereas hundreds are used by attackers
to incapacitate victims. Unfortunately, because people
believe that they are 100% reliable, it often encourages
victims to lower their guard, leaving them prone to attack.”
The Roofie Foundation (TRF) was set up in 1997 to help
those who are interested in finding out more about the effects
of date-rape drugs, and also for those who have been victims.
Their website, www.roofie.com, emphasises: “Everyone is
aware of their own personal tolerance to alcohol. If you feel
odd, nauseous, slightly drunk, tipsy or wasted after only a
couple of drinks, or you know that you cannot be drunk,
there is more than a chance that your drink has been spiked.
If so get yourself immediately to a place of safety.”
“If you are with a close friend tell them of your worries, get
them to get you out of the place as soon as possible and to
get you home either in their car or by cab. Once safely home
ask them to stay with you until the effects of the drug have
worn off. However be very sure that you implicitly trust the
person or friend you are asking.
The University of Surrey Students Union take the matter of
drink-spiking extremely seriously. USSU Head of Events
Safety, Ben McCauley, stressed: “If anybody feels they
are under the influence of rohypnol or any other drug, they
should come to the front desk immediately, and it will be
treated with the utmost of urgency”.
Barefacts Nominated for National Award
BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH
EDITOR IN CHIEF
surrey students demonstrate
Narrowing Participation? | page 5
THE UNIVERSITY OF Surrey Students’
Newspaper, barefacts has this week been
shortlisted for the award of ‘Best Student
Campaign’ sponsored by ActionAid in
the NUS National Student Media Awards.
The nomination came about due to the
coverage in last year’s barefacts of the
‘Lights, Camera, Action’ campaign, which
is continuing this year.
Barefacts is up against ROAR at King’s
University for their Accommodation
GU2 visits Radio One | page 8
campaign, and The Warwick Boar
(Warwich University) for their Liberty Park
campaign.
The nomination is particularly impressive
as barefacts was the winner of the very
same award a year ago, for its coverage of
the Uni$kint campaign, protesting against
the University’s planned 24% rent increase
over the next few years.
The presentation ceremony for this year’s
Media Awards takes place on Sunday
22nd November 2002 at the luxurious
International Hotel in Canary Wharf, after
the annual Student Media Conference.
Sandy Stars | page 21
2
NEWS
EDITORIAL TEAM 2003-4
Editor in Chief
Sarah Butterworth
comms
@ussu.co.uk
Editor
Chris Ward
cs21cw
@surrey.ac.uk
Music Editor
Matt Badcock
ms01mb
@surrey.ac.uk
Music Editor
Jon Allen
bs21ja
@surrey.ac.uk
News Editor
Philip Howard
ph02ph
@surrey.ac.uk
Film Editor
Neil Boulton
cs21nb
@surrey.ac.uk
Theatre Editor
Daisy Clay
ps21dc
@surrey.ac.uk
Literature Editor
Jennifer Walker
ph21jw
@surrey.ac.uk
Sports Editor
Peter Nichols
cs11pn
@surrey.ac.uk
CONTRIBUTORS
Matt Adams
Tuoko Amuka
Natalie Barette
Ben Berryman
Andy Blair
Dave Chapman
Neil Christie
Jonathan Darzi
Scott Farmer
Michael Field
Natalie Howard
Chris Hunter
Claire Iles
Catherine Lee
A Little-Person
Carol Main
Dina Mystris
Lorne Smith
Sandeep Sohal
Kirstie Thompson
Pete Tivers
Duncan Wilson
Arvind Virdee
Peter Wigfield
Design & Layup:
Sarah Butterworth
Chris Ward | Ben Berryman
23 October 2003
Clarke Fails to Convince Parent
BY CHRIS WARD
EDITOR
The Higher Education Minister failed to
convince a parent that the top up fees were
the only way forward on “Blair’s University
Challenge” earlier this week. The show,
which consisted of two panels, one for top
up fees, and one against;
presented the debate on fees
as a mockery of University
Challenge. The two panels
answered questions related
to higher education, and were
occasionally asked questions
on their stance in the fees
debate. Others who shared
their political and personal
opinions that evening were
Conservative Damien Green,
and Liberal Democrat Phil
Willis.
Clarke, who was NUS
President in the 70s,
answered questions based on his student
fees policies. However, by the end of the
program, he had still failed to convince a
mother of three. One of her children had
just started University, and the other two
hope to go in the future. She insisted that
everybody needs a graduate workforce, i.e.
doctors, lawyers, etc. and doesn’t see why
the government shouldn’t pay for it. She
emphasised that her youngest daughter may
be put off going to a prestigious university
because of the possible debt of £21,000 at
the age of 21.
From the other political viewpoints,
Damien Green stated that the Conservatives
would scrap the 50% government target for
higher education, and would
introduce a vocational system
for those wishing to enter
a non-academic workforce.
Phil Willis emphasised that
student fees should be paid
for by general taxation.
NUS President Mandy
Telford emphasised that
bringing a market into the
higher education system
would “skew the system
entirely”, because “students
from poorer backgrounds
will
choose
cheaper
courses”.
Students’ Independent Complaints Board
BY CHRIS WARD
EDITOR
The Pro-Vice-Chancellor of the University
of Oxford, Dame Ruth Deech, has been
appointed as the first “independent
adjudicator for higher education”. Starting
next year, students with complaints against
their university will be able to appeal to
her. She will consider issues that have not
been dealt with by a university’s internal
grievance procedures. Students will also
be able to complain if they feel that services
and facilities promised in the prospectus are
not being adequately delivered.
This news was welcomed by the National
Union of Students. Chris Weaver, of NUS,
stated: “We are in a consumer culture, where
people are much more ready to complain.
And when students are paying for courses,
barefacts is an editorially independent
newspaper and is published by the University
of Surrey Students’ Union Communications
Office.
The views expressed within the paper
are those of individual authors and do not
necessarily represent the views of the Editor,
the University of Surrey Students’ Union or the
University of Surrey.
This publication may not be reproduced in
whole or in part, stored in any form, copied or
distributed, without the express permission of
the publisher beforehand.
All submissions must include the author’s
name and Union or Staff Number. Submission
is no guarantee of publication.
Articles submitted Anonymously and Pseudonymously will
not be published.
barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions.
barefacts@ussu.co.uk
WWW.USSU.CO.UK
© USSU COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE 2003
it will magnify this,” However, students
will also be able to complain about nonacademic grievances, such as problems over
accommodation. If complaints are upheld,
the adjudicator can recommend financial
compensation.
Professor Norman Gowar, chairman of
the Office of the Independent Adjudicator
said that having an independent complaints
commission covering all universities will
create a more coherent and equal system.
At the moment, older universities forward
complaints upwards to “visitors”, who may
be a bishop, or even the Queen. He called
this situation “anachronistic”. Universities
are not legally bound by the adjudicator’s
rulings, but Prof. Gowar is confident that
universities will feel obliged to comply with
her decisions.
Do you have a complaint
against this newspaper?
If you have a complaint about
any item in this newspaper which
contains inaccuracy, harassment,
intrusion or discrimination write to
our editorial team about it.
If you remain dissatisfied please
contact the Press Complaints
Commission - an independant
organisation established to uphold
an editorial Code of Practice for the
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their decision.
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barefacts notices
Barefacts Meeting | Thursday 23rd October | 5pm | Media Centre
Aikido AGM | Thursday 23rd October | 8pm | Sports Centre
Swimming AGM | Friday 24th October | 2pm | Committee Room
Women’s Basketball AGM | Tuesday 28th October | 1pm | Committee Room
Men’s Basketball AGM | Tuesday 28th October | 1.30pm | Commirrww Room
Science Fiction & Fantasy Society AGM | Tuesday 28th October | 6pm | TB19
EARS AGM | Wednesday 29th October | 1pm | 27BB04
Cyprus Society AGM | Thursday 30th October | 6pm | Lecture Theatre L
Afro-Carribean Society Meeting | Thursday 30th October | 6pm | TB13
Switchgear Gaming Society | Monday 3rd November | 6pm | TB11
Amnesty International Soc AGM | Monday 3rd November | Committee Room
3
NEWS & LETTERS
23 October 2003
Barefacts Live Launches
I’m Not a Rent Boy!
BY CHRIS WARD
EDITOR
BY NEIL CHRISTIE
On Wednesday last week, Barefacts Live
was launched on 1350AM GU2 Radio at
6pm. The show is the first step in bringing
barefacts and GU2 closer and allowing them
to complement each other as two integrated
communication mediums.
This medium integration came about as
a result of the sabbatical elections. Sarah
Butterworth, VP Communications and
Marketing for USSU made it part of her
manifesto to integrate Union media to
provide up-to-date quality communication.
Barefacts will still report on news issues, but
Barefacts Live will be there for situations
where news is urgent.
Barefacts Live consists of local campus
news, brought to you by new presenters
Laura Lemmon, Victoria Rawlinson, Sam
Thompson and Sarah Tille; along with Head
of News at GU2, Duncan ‘Mental’ Wilson.
They will be keeping you informed on
Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays after
the national news at 6pm.
GU2 are looking for more people to get
involved with Barefacts Live, particularly
in the area of sports coverage. If you
are a team captain and you would like to
have your full/half time results mentioned
on Barefacts Live, get in contact with
Duncan Wilson, GU2’s Head of News:
barefactslive@gu2.co.uk
Students are so desperate for cash that one
particular student, Sean Gerrie, has decided
to rent out certain parts of his body in order
to pay off his year’s tuition fees. Whilst one
may be thinking this could be quite sordid, it
is a very honest appeal to people all over the
world and involves no renting of the most
private of parts.
For various prices, ranging from £1 to £20,
an ‘owner’ of a body part receives regular
feedback on what that particular body part
has been up to, as well as a certificate of
ownership. Although it is made quite clear
on the website that parts, other than the
5,000 hairs available, are to remain intact
on Sean’s body, the benefits from owning a
body part appear to be plentiful.
More importantly, it must be said that
although the idea is innovative and
imaginative, the underlying motive is that
of financial stability through just one year
of his Internet Computing Course. Students
seeking part-time employment are on the
increase and there are no signs to show that
this will change. In her article on page 6
Natalie Howard shows she has already made
reference to plans for future employment to
sustain herself throughout university three
years before she will become a student.
The recommendation for students study is
approximately 100 hours for each 10-credit
module, per semester. This could equate
to around 40 hours a week study time for
Letters to barefacts
Letters must be received by 5pm on the Monday before publication to be published in the next newspaper.
Letters may be edited for length or clarity | barefacts@ussu.co.uk
Dear barefacts,
I am almost appalled at how Barefacts can endorse wasting
time and resources in academic degrees by publishing the
‘article’ by a Mr Ben Berryman.
In his article Mr Berryman claims that internet games
are ‘distractions’ from laboratory sessions, when in fact
‘distract’ means To cause to turn away from the original
focus of attention or interest. Clearly Mr Berryman never
had an original interest in his lab session and the Internet
games were not a cause to turn away, more a pre-occupying
activity Mr Berryman wished to pursue during a worthwhile
laboratory session.
Any student who comes to university with the mentality
of “not fancying” to do work, or to use university resources
to simply check mail or immature websites, is wasting their
time, their lecturer’s time, the university’s resources and are
effectively obstructing others who are willing to learn from
gaining access to higher education.
May I suggest to Mr Berryman that those people with
busy schedules running in and out of the media office are
those people that he should attempt to emulate, and that his
girlfriend is talking sense when she believes he should be
studying instead of playing games. Furthermore, to infer
that researching for Barefacts is something to be used as an
excuse and taken lightly, may I state that it both demeans
Barefacts as a medium and the material itself sets a poor
example of students in Surrey University.
I am writing in response to a frustration letter written to
barefacts published on Thursday 16 October 2003, about
the campus restaurant and their staffs and how disappointed
that she was served a Cornish meat pasty instead of a desired
vegetarian one. The staff was blamed on poor communication
and English skills. The writer added how could a restaurant
employ people who do not know fundamental English words
like vegetarian. It is indeed the staffs fault for not delivering
the best service to her customer. But have we emphasise too
much on ones ability and skills that we forget to be kind
enough to forgive and treat the weak with care and perhaps
correct their mistakes gently. I believe if we could be more
relaxed on extremely high
expectations and exercise a little kindness and understanding,
we will help to create this world a better place to live in with
fewer cases of depression and mental health problems.
For your further information, the staffs who work behind
the food counter may be highly educated students from
the university and are in their learning stage of their new
temporary job in the restaurant.
YOURS VERY SINCERELY
A TRADITIONAL STUDENT
THANK YOU.
FOONG SIN LAM
got something to shout about?
email your letters to
barefacts@ussu.co.uk by
Monday at 5pm.
For more UniS Merchandise, visit
the USSU Shop, open MondayFriday 12 noon til 4pm
photo: chris hunter | model: amy fawcett
Dear barefacts
a full-time course. Students then requiring
employment to finance themselves through
their course would then put aside anything
up to around 20 hours (the maximum
recommended by UniS) for paid work.
Given that there is much influence on
student involvement in union activities to
improve personal skills and gain more than
just a degree from university experience,
there seems to be a serious problem with
making time for these requirements and not
allowing any part of university life to suffer
in the process. Sean Gerrie’s case may not
be an isolated one in the years to come, with
students visibly becoming more strapped for
cash.
Sean’s site is www.seanyg.com
4
COMMENT
23 October 2003
Match Making or
opinion
Society Destroying?
Stop Fees on
26th October
Natalie Howard writes in Barefacts this week about how the
realisation of student top up fees has made her think twice
about coming to university and just how much financial
strain there is on students currently – let alone in a few years’
time. The Barefacts Team would like to remind everyone
about the NUS march on Sunday 26th October 2003, and the
sign up sheet in the Activities Centre.
It’s not just for future students, as the NUS are also
campaigning for abolishing all student fees, which would be
immediate, as well as asking for more stability with regards
to the annual inflation rates at which interest is added to the
student loans. Again this would affect us as students now.
If you’re still not convinced or think that top up fees are
a good idea (!) then why not come along to meet a ton of
people and have a free day out in the Capital; see the sights,
take in the atmosphere, enjoy the shops… And march with
fellow students. The main news article this week is basically
about raising awareness in different areas – and if you’re not
aware of what the NUS can do for us in terms of alleviating
the financial struggle, then come along. Or you could end up
like Sean Gerrie, loaning body parts for cash…
Barefacts Live
Remember to listen in to Barefacts Live on GU2 – Monday,
Wednesday, Friday, at 6pm after the national news. It’s all
orientated around the latest news on campus and is there to
inform students of major issues that go on during the week,
so tune in to 1350AM/MW and become up to date with the
latest news. Don’t miss out!
Apologies....
... are due to Mr Scott Geary and Mr Chris Hunter, both
of whom took the amazing photos in last week’s issue of
barefacts [Scott - The Demo and Horseriding, Chris - Rushes,
Union & Minibusses], and were not, due to an unfortunate
oversight, credited for their photographs. Rest assured, guys,
we are eternally grateful for your contributions, and hope
you accept our humble apologies.
Random Fact of the Week
Ever been on a pelican crossing and wondered how a
visually and aurally impaired individual knows when to
cross the road? Feel under the yellow and black box for a
ridged cone. When it is safe to cross, the cone starts to spin.
Have a feel when you’re next out!
- Matt Adams
barefacts | be heard
Neil Christie looks at the personality tests used by employers
to determine suitability to job descriptions and questions
whether or not their over-analytical approach is self-destructive.
Whilst in a lecture for my mickey-mouse degree (Business
Management is an arts degree ‘posing’ as a science degree…
apparently) it was said that there is currently a lot of
emphasis on personality types and some firms, particularly
in the service sector, are trying to ascertain what kind of
personalities their managers and employees have.
“Why” is a good question – and it’s the possible answer
to this question that I find worrying. Does it matter what
personality type managers are? Does it matter what
personality type anyone is?
Apparently so – as some personalities are better suited to
some situations than others. All well and good – but take
that a little bit further. Some personalities are suited to
jobs, and others aren’t. So basically it’s like the scene in
Antz, where newborns are categorised into two groups (one
was workers I believe, can’t remember the other) and then
throughout their life they do nothing but their job for the
good of the community.
It works great for ants, but are humans really as mechanised
and pre-programmed? I think it would be a great shame to
have such an emphasis put on personality that jobs are
prescribed for certain personalities, and that there is very
little choice or direction involved in life because opportunity
is reduced and employment is based more on genetics and
nurturing than real talent.
Such an over-analytical approach to the human race could
well end up eradicating the idea of having a free choice, and
free mind. It may well make us more efficient as a race,
but the price to pay for such an ideal would far outweigh
the benefits. There’s also the opinion that no matter how
categorical and accurate science can be, the complexity
of the human race is such that no real groups can ever be
established. Each person is unique, and whilst some traits
may be similar, it’d take a lot of convincing to persuade me
that each individual is destined to the same path.
The example that was given was that psychologists have
analysed some entrepreneurs and they feel they can, given
the time and enough tests, determine if an individual is going
to become one.
I’d argue that, because of unpredictability and chance in
life, there’s no way of telling whether or not a person will
or will not become an entrepreneur. Some people ‘make it’
on lucky breaks, and can be described as opportunist. I’m
not suggesting that all millionaires simply got lucky and are
lazy as hell, but I believe that some success stories are about
being in the right place at the right time.
So whilst I feel it’s all well and good to try and ascertain
whether or not someone will be suited to the job, I think it’s
unfair and impractical to suggest that some people can’t do a
task or handle a situation because of their personality. It was
also said that a progressive branch of psychologists believe
that personality can be shaped over time and experiences.
Given that a personality test costs around £250 for an hour’s
work – you could test someone, turn them down for a job,
and then they have the ‘right’ kind of experience to turn
them into an ideal applicant. There’s also the problem
of people trying to rig the results, especially if it’s widely
known that one type of personality will get a job and another
may be sidelined.
Psychology is fast becoming more and more renowned
and implemented in the work place, as well as being a field
of research. In so many ways, this is an excellent thing, as
the one thing which (arguably) determines our actions – the
brain – is being studied and the studies are more accepted
and no longer labelled ‘hocus pocus’. However there are
limitations to its credibility because of the nature of what is
being studied, and I don’t believe that it should ever become
the dominant factor in an area such as employment, but
remain as a factor, or influence, in making decisions.
23 October 2003
5
COMMENT
Narrowing Participation
Natalie Howard, who spent a week on work experience in the USSU Media Centre, offers
up a view on top up fees, as someone who will be one of the first potential £3,000 a year fee
paying students in 2006.
Although university seems like a long way off to me,
I had always taken for granted that I would be going.
However, what I have recently learnt about the possibility
(or inevitability) of the implementation of top up fees, has
caused me to reconsider my options and perhaps even think
about not choosing to go to university at all.
The most worrying aspect being the prospect of, by the time
I am 21, being in around £30,000 debt.
Charles Clarke and others, seem to think that they know
what entices a student to come to university, and that paying
graduate tax is the most attractive option. Well, as a year 11
student looking at eventually going to university, I will be
in the first year to be affected by top-up fees, therefore my
opinion is perhaps much more valid than that of politicians
who not only received free education, but a grant as well.
This new legislation will mean that I will have to strongly
reconsider many of my options concerning what I will
do after my A-levels, as effectively, the government are
narrowing the choices available to students after they finish
school, which is ironic considering they are aiming to get
50% of people coming to university. I would aspire to go to a
university which matches my academic ability but, due to the
probability of these new top-up fees I will have to consider
carefully where I choose to go, and I may end up basing my
choice of university on the lowest top-up fees, and how close
it is to home. For example, I may wish to go to a university
in London where accommodation will be expensive, or one
of the top places such as Oxford or Cambridge, where the
top-up fees will probably be at the maximum, but due to
these factors I would have to reconsider my decisions.
“Why is that it seems that the
majority of people are against topup fees and the only people who
are for it seem to be Tony Blair and
Charles Clarke?”
I will also have to get a part time job while I am at univeristy
in order to limit the amount that I borrow in student loans.
This will inevitibly affect my enjoyment of university as I
will be working more than I should, therefore causing a lot
more stress, tiredness and extra pressure. Surely if I am
having to worry about finance during my time at university
I will not be able to put as much energy into my academic
work as I could if I wasn’t having to earn extra money to
support myself? My decisions about my gap year between
sixth form and university may also be affected, as I may
have to work for the majority of it in order to earn money to
fund me through the rest of my education.
Colin Howard, Dean of Students, as a father and an
important member of staff at the university, has a lot of valid
views on the subject of top-up fees. As a parent he is worried
that my and my younger sister’s choices will be limited, and
also worries about the amount of debt we will both be in in
the early stages of our working lives. “Of course as parents
we will limit the amount of debt, and support our daughters
financially the best we can, but at the end of the day there
are three outcomes: our children are either left in £30,000
cambridge university - out of reach financially?
less able financially or who come from under represented
groups such as single parents with child care needs.
However, I can’t help but question whether the students
who come from poorer families are, in fact, the only people
who need help with their tutition fees from the government.
After all, it is the large amount of people in the middle who
will struggle in the end. With less wealthy families receiving
larger grants and lower fees, and upper class people getting
by easily due to their wealth, it is the middle class people
who will struggle by with no help with their top-up fees and
a large debt at the end of it.
“I wonder if it is simply the fact that
Britain does not want to be left behind
countries such as America”
worth of debt, at a university which does not live up to their
aspirations, or us left destitute.”
As the Dean of Students he is worried that we will end up
with a 2 or 3 tier university system and that only those who
can afford to will go to the best universities. Surely if a
person, talking as a parent and active member of staff at a
university, expresses these views against the top-up fees it is
something to be taken into account. He is however, pleased
that the government are offering support for less well off
families, but concerned that there will still be students
from families who will struggle to financially support their
offspring through university and these families will receive
no support from the government. He also notes the benefit
in the fact that the fees will be used to support those who are
Although I understand the benefits, my main concern is still
my welfare and the welfare of many other students who will
be put in this position when it comes to higher education, and
what angers me most about the situation is that my freedom
of choice will be affected when it shouldn’t be. I believe that
it is everyone’s right to have an education, and by enforcing
laws that will mean people will have to pay large amounts
of money, and end up in up to £3,000 of extra debt per year,
it takes away this right and will affect the amount of people
who end up going into higher education at all.
I also question why it is that it seems that the majority of
people are against top-up fees, and the only people who are
for it seem to be those at the top, for example, Tony Blair, or
Charles Clarke. Even the University of Surrey’s own Vice
Chancellor has indicated that Surrey will introduce top-up
fees. I do agree that universities need money but why can it
not come from everyone in the form of taxes as opposed to
the students alone? After all it is everyone who will benefit
from graduates who go on to become doctors, accountants,
lawyers etc. I wonder also if it is simply the fact that Britain
does not want to be left behind countries such as America
who have such legislation. Britain have already followed
America into Iraq, so must the same happen with university
top-up fees?
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Winter collection combines the stylings of the New York punk scene combined with the comfort and quality
associated with Topman’s clothes. Music has always been the life force of youth culture, now even more so and
the collection, which is based on heavy musical influences such as punk and is steeped in attitude. Think James
Dean meets the Sex Pistols as classic black gets a shot in the arm from neon and reflective fabrics.
To be in with a chance to win £50 of vouchers to spend on Topman’s fantastic new Autumn/
Winter range simply answer the following question:
Complete the name of one of Topman’s new ranges, ‘Shine on you Crazy…”
Is it: a) Opal | b) Diamond | c) Ruby
Send in your answers to barefacts@ussu.co.uk, and
you’ve got an extra week this time, so get them in by
Monday 3rd November at 5pm. Good Luck!
6
VOLUNTEERING
23 October 2003
The V Project Makes TV History
BY CAROL MAIN
OUTREACH & VOLUNTEERING COORDINATOR
It has always been one of my minor
ambitions to appear on TV – obviously
starring alongside some stunningly gorgeous
actor in the tropics somewhere, sipping a
cold drink with a paper umbrella, looking
suitably tanned and wearing a fantastically
flattering outfit with groovy flip-flops..
obviously! Screech – and back to reality,
anyway, TV – yes, so when I was contacted
by someone on behalf of someone else at
an award winning Channel 4 Production
Company (Lion TV) how could I resist! …
Enter The V Project!
Way way back in the depths of 1999
whilst I was studying in Farnborough, my
department was approached by the lovely
people who were making ‘Gladiator’,
as they were searching for extras for the
opening battle scene (you remember – lots of
dead soldiers). The one problem for me was
they only wanted men to make it authentic.
Can’t really argue with that I guess, and
when my classmates retuned on the Monday
morning after a weekend of lying face down
in icy mud for hours on end, to be followed
by the freeze-framing of the entire opening
sequence among cries of “oh but look – I’m
sure that’s my ear, no, wait – surely there’s
my finger”, I think I was probably, strangely,
a tiny bit envious!
Back to the summer of 2003 – most students
were away on their hol’s but I managed to
gather a mini army of UniS related people
and we trooped off to Farnham Woods
(where the opening Gladiator sequence
was shot) at some unearthly hour of a
Sunday morning (“to make the most of the
sunlight”) where we proceeded to spend
the day taking part in a the filming of one
of six programmes entitled ‘Weapons That
Made Britain’ (to be aired early 2004). The
programme that we were involved with was
‘Shield Walls’. To be fair I didn’t have a
clue what I was letting myself in for, but
it was great fun! There were about 100
extras, varying from fit young army cadets,
to middle aged, overweight men who reeked
from Saturday night’s beer soaked evening...
mmm nice!
We were given food and drink, split into
groups (I was positioned next to a rather
large rugby lad, who alas wasn’t quite
Russell Crowe, and did make my knuckles
rather sore as we had to ‘lock’ our shields
together in a long line and shout ‘arrrrrr!!!’ in
a scary kind of way, usually followed by an
‘ouch’ of accidental knuckle crunching, but
all good fun nevertheless!). In the morning
we were ‘trained’ on how to form a strong
wall of shields that would keep the enemy
out, followed by an afternoon of filming: we
spent a lot of time trying to look and sound
scary and saxon-like! – we ‘locked’ our
shields, turned around (much harder than
it sounds when you’re holding a huge piece
of wood!) and even charged! Hurrah! The
series presenter was a friendly looking guy
called Mike Loades who I had never heard
of but apparently he’s a tiny bit well known
in historical circles(!!), and Dave ‘Chops’
Chapman (USSU Sports Sabbatical) and
myself did spot him on a TV programme a
few weeks later – wearing the same shirt as
at the filming which made us laugh! (it’s the
amusing little things in life!). Hee Hee!
Ultimately it was a great day and we all
had a lot of fun, met some new people (it’s
not everyday that you meet a group of saxon
warriors now is it?!) and learnt a new skill
(‘is able to form a shield wall’ – what a great
asset to any CV!) I can now tick ‘being an
extra’ from my list of minor ambitions, and
able to hold a fairly informed conversation
if I need to make polite conversation about
shields! What more could you want!
If you would like to find out more about
The V Project and it’s latest activities,
please get in touch with Carol Main (01483
683254/ email c.main@surrey.ac.uk), and
look out for an article coming soonn to
BareFacts about our latest fun adventure of
pulling a pond apart at a local infants school
(don’t worry, we got the school’s permission
first!)
the volunteers’ enemy - don’t they look scary? | photo: carol main
The V Project Competition!
Volunteering – hurrah! So the weeks are thundering past and this week I thought it would
be fun if we had a competition! What’s the prize I hear you cry! – the prize is fantastic! – a
pair of tickets for the British Airways London Eye (valid until 30th December 2003) which
is on the side of the River Thames, where you get stunning views of London as you have
a 30 minute trip around the ‘big wheel’, snapping away on your camera at all those well
known London sights, and generally being a bit of a tourist!
To win this amazing prize all you have to do is write a short piece about any volunteering
that you have been involved in in the last 12 months (it does not have to have been done
through The V Project) – tell me who you are, what you did, where and when you did it,
why and how you got involved, what you learnt, and anything else you think is interesting
about the experience.
Submit your entry by email, posting, or bringing it to me in person (post it under my door
if I’m not here) by 5pm Friday 7th November. An independent source will read all of the
articles and pick the winner, who will be notified by Friday 14th November.
Sensory Garden/ Pond De-Construction!
Many thanks to those of you who were involved in the event on Saturday 18th October at
Stoughton Infants School – it was a great success and the volunteers certainly won’t need
to be working out at a gym this week! Phew! Article to follow shortly in Barefacts.
Handicap International
…Is an NGO working to support landmine victims and people with disabilities in
55 countries around the world. As co-founder of the International Campaign to ban
landmines, Handicap International was co-winner of the 1997 Nobel Peace Prize.
Handicap International UK (based in Farnham) is in need of volunteers to help with an
event on November 1st in Trafalgar Square. The event marks the start of Landmine Action
Week, and is an awareness raising day. The focus will be the construction of a ‘pyramid
of shoes’, each show symbolizing lives and limbs lost as a consequence of landmines. A
variety of exhibitions and entertainments will be on offer and experts will be on hand to
talk about de-mining, mine-risk education, and prosthesis fitting. Volunteers are needed
(whole day, morning or afternoon) for stewarding, talking to people, event set up/ clear
up, etc, and will be invited to attend a post-event get together. Contact me for more
information.
GU2
Scott Farmer (AKA: The DAVE Project), and myself now have a slot on GU2 – let
loose on the airwaves! You can listen to ‘The V & DAVE show’ on Mondays 4-6pm on
1350AM/MW or online anywhere in the world at www.gu2.co.uk.
There are also lots and lots of exciting longer term opportunities, for information on
anything related to The V Project please contact me:
Name | Carol Main
Tel | [01483] [68]3254
Email | c.main@surrey.ac.uk
Web | www.ussu.co.uk/volunteering
Person | The Activities Centre @ USSU
23 October 2003
UNION
7
surrey ballroom dancers [right: claire beckett]
8
COMMUNICATION
23 October 2003
GU2bbc
radio
visits
radio one
by Duncan ‘Judge Mental’ Wilson
It was early one July morning and Gaz
Davies, the former GU2 station manager,
and I were milling about outside the BBC’s
Broadcasting House. Then P, formerly of
The Vibe on GU2, arrived. As we made our
way into the foyer of Broadcasting House, a
huge amount of excitement began building
up inside me, for we were not just visitors to
Radio 1. No, we weren’t just in for a dash of
celebrity spotting, no, P and I were going to
present a show on the station!
So it would have helped if we had the
right building! As the receptionist kindly
explained we needed to walk another five
minutes down the road to Yalding House,
the building where Radio 1 and 1Extra
broadcast from.
Once inside, we entered a room, amusingly
entitled ‘One Big Boardroom’, sat down and
drank some tea. After they’d laid out what
we were going to do over the next few days,
as well as briefed us slightly on Radio 1’s
marketing strategies, the fun began!
We were shown around every room in the
building, with them very tactically, saving
the studios until last! We were taken down
to meet Will, former producer of The Chris
Moyles Show, sidekick Comedy Dave and
later we met Chris Moyles himself. After
that, they had finally let us have a look at one
of the studios! We also got to see Newsbeat
go out on air live. They then introduced P
and I to Suzanna Wallace. Former producer
for Mark Goodier, this lady had been
commissioned to be our producer for the
one hour show we were going to produce
and present a month from that day.
The show, despite being pre-recorded, had
to be as slick and pre-prepared as possible.
For this reason, we were given ample studio
and production time, which P and I used to
our full advantage (prior to being left alone
in one of the studios, we were instructed not
to use any foul language as Moyles, who
was next door, has a habit of putting other
studios on air when there’s somebody in
them ‘for a laugh’!). The initial three days
had ended and we’d enjoyed a good lunch
and dinner out with various Radio 1 staff
members, met a few (or rather a lot, in P’s
case!) famous broadcasters, oh, and I met
Busted too!
One month on and it was show time! P
and I met up to have a final run through
our script, before taking it into Radio 1 for
Suzanna to peruse. We also had the tough
decision over what our freeplays were going
to be! I caused a bit of a stir in the music
department by choosing Dee Lite’s ‘Groove
Is In The Heart’. The reaction from them
was “It’s not very Radio 1 is it?” to which
Suzanna replied “Er, listen! Jo Whiley’s
playing it right now!”. Thanks Jo!
Much to the query of everybody else, we’d
agreed to record the show in ‘real time’,
i.e. the show was to be broadcast at 3am
on Monday 25th August, so we wanted to
record it at 3am, three days before. Thursday
evening and the BBC car, booked with the
instructions ‘for broadcast’ collected me
and drove me to Yalding house in great
comfort. We entered the studio and the real
excitement hit me. This was it! Here we
were, the BBC together with P and Mental!
Let’s do it!
After a number of false starts, the fault of
the equipment and not ours, we got down
to business. The show ran through the hour
nicely, with P and I getting into it more as
the time ran on. By the sixtieth minute,
we wanted more! Three days later some
friends and I woke at 3am in small caravan,
somewhere in North Wales to listen to the
result. I can safely say that was one of the
most surreal nights of my life!
The opportunity to produce and present a
show on Radio 1 came about after 1350AM
GU2 won the title ‘Student Radio Station
of the Year’ for the year 2001-02. It ended
up playing a big part in getting both P and
myself paid gigs within the industry. P now
presents The Presence for SBN, which is
syndicated to student stations, including
GU2, across the UK, while I’m enjoying
a stint covering SBN’s breakfast show. I
would like to finish off by thanking Gaz
for the excellent jingles he produced for
us, although he chose not to present on the
show, he still got his work on air!
P presents ‘The Presence’ every Wednesday night from 10pm and Duncan Wilson
presents ‘Breakfast with Shockwaves’ every weekday from 8am, both on 1350AM GU2!
duncan ‘judge mental’ wilson at radio 1
p of ‘the presence’
23 October 2003
Dr Russ Replies
DR RUSS CLARK | UNIS CAREERS SERVICE
Got any good advice about performing
well at interviews?
The interview is your opportunity to
convince an employer that you’re the right
person for the job. That means achieving
two things:- you must prove you have the
right qualities and you must convince them
that you’d love to do the job you’ve applied
for. But rather than going in to an interview
simply hoping it’s going to work out well for
you, it will pay huge dividends if you spend
some time planning beforehand.
So what is the best way to do this?
First of all, make sure you examine the
job description closely. This will list the
attributes which the job requires. Think
about all you have done which you could
use as evidence to show that you meet those
requirements. Employers are particularly
keen to find out whether you have
appropriate skills such as leading, problemsolving and organising and often ask you
to provide examples of when and how you
have demonstrated these in the past. You
should next spend some time researching the
employer in greater depth.
Is there anything else I should do before
the interview?
Yes. Your planning should include taking
another look at the copy you kept of the
application form. Think about the kind
of questions you would ask if you were
the interviewer and plan how you would
answer these. Think particularly of all the
questions you’d hate to be asked and work out
reasonable answers. It can do your confidence
a power of good if one of them comes up and
you’re ready for it! By the way, we have
a leaflet titled “The First Interview” in the
Careers Service which has some examples of
commonly asked and more difficult questions
on the back cover.
What about the interview itself?
Aim to be as positive as you can throughout
the entire procedure. You can rest assured that
the employer wouldn’t even be interviewing
you if they didn’t think you could do the job,
but you’ve still got to convince them that
you’d really like to do it. I have met a number
of employers over the years who have told me
how good Surrey graduates have been from a
technical point of view but have added that
they haven’t all been that brilliant at selling
themselves. So make it your aim to show a
bit of enthusiasm!
Do you have a question you
think Dr Russ could help with?
Just send it to
barefacts@ussu.co.uk or pop
into the careers service and
speak to an advisor
9
PROFESSIONAL
A Blast From the Past
Lorne Smith gives in insider’s view on 1970s Politics at Surrey.
The atmosphere on most University campuses around the UK in
the early seventies, comparative to today, was rebellious. The late
sixties’ flowerpower, peace and love movement was being hijacked
by the better organised Far Left Trotskyite Socialist groupings like
Tariq Ali’s IMG and Paul Foot’s Socialist Worker party.
You wouldn’t think this clamour for ‘permanent revolution’ would
get far among Surrey University’s 2500 undergraduates, who were
predominantly engineers or studying Hotel and Catering, etc, with
only a tiny Sociology department. Nevertheless a combination of
factors made it fertile ground for the Extreme Left for a period.
The brains behind the organised radicalism at Surrey were two
post-graduates. They were well-read, astute Trotskyites, whose
objectives were to use the Student Union to demand reforms that
they knew the authorities couldn’t accept in order to experiment in
revolutionising the mind of the ‘rank and file’ student.
The Vice Chancellor was a delightful man, who tried hard to reach
out to the student leadership, for example, inviting them to his house
for dinner and installing student representatives for the first time on
a number of important University committees.
I had been elected non-sabbatical ‘Arts Chairman’ of the Student
Union for 1970-71 - an ill-defined role but we started the Surrey
Free Festival (with Genesis - a local Guildford, undiscovered band
- joining the line-up!) and also built a screen printing process. These
gave me, a longhaired hippie at the time, a public face and the
student body a capacity to produce quickly hundreds of posters, vital
in any propaganda campaign of that era.
Following what for the University authorities must have been an
alarmingly radical campaign, I was just voted sabbatical Student
Union president for 1971-72. In the spring term of 1972 I chaired
eight one-hour weekly student meetings to discuss a new constitution
(drafted by the Trotskyites), which moved the power of decision
making away from a student representative executive and put it in
the hands of the general meeting of students with a minimum quorum
of only 50. The change was justified publicly on the basis of greater
democracy and I am quite proud of the quality of those eight hours of
dry constitutional debate (!) but, of course, the outcome that we had
planned allowed the motivated radical element who were prepared
to turn up each week, to take power in the Students Union, using it to
disseminate more effectively and widely socialist ideas.
It was only when the ‘Left’ went over the top and stirred up
an occasional backlash among the Rugby Club etc that the
‘conservative’ element was able to rally its normally apathetic ‘silent
majority’ forces and vote down some proposal like ‘support the IRA’
(who were hiding their terrorism behind the Civil Rights movement
at that time).
Interestingly, Bare Facts was editorially quite separate from the
Students Union, politically was ‘hippie/neutral’ and well run and,
if we needed to communicate quickly with the student body, it
had a much more efficient distribution system than the University
authorities.
During 1972 the National Union of Students, with the ‘careerist’
Jack Straw in the lead, was rallying a protest across the country
against the Tory government and Margaret Thatcher, who was
Education Minister. To try to create a political link between the
‘working class’ and ‘students’, they came up with the idea of
striking: not against their lecturers - as they would have been
laughed out of court - but against the cost of living. The Socialists,
now in full control of the Surrey Students Union, were well prepared
to organise a rent strike to make as much trouble as possible and the
University was worried.
If it hadn’t been for ‘the lie’, the Surrey rent strike would have
petered out before Christmas, as did the vast majority of the 160
around the country with their lack of justification and, with no
further gains to be made in radicalising the student body through this
issue, the Left would have gone back to protesting about the Vietnam
war or something else. But the NUS had a mole in the office of the
Government’s central university committee and it was discovered
that Surrey had doctored its numbers. Its rent and food costs had
come in the highest quartile of a national survey, so the food costs
were changed before the survey was published to bring Surrey down
into the lowest quartile and allow the University Secretary to argue
that, comparatively, Surrey students were well off and could afford
a rent increase to £4.50. This in turn would benefit future students,
as the University could then afford to build more residences and this
would save increased numbers of students having to pay higher rents
in the town.
Well this was manna from heaven. The fact that the second lot
of numbers could perhaps be justified as the most accurate was
irrelevant. We had caught the ‘capitalist lackeys’ cheating and
lying and we were organised to take advantage of it to solidify the
strike. The propaganda was pumped out and the majority of students
bewitched.
Somewhere between 70% and 80% of all students refused to pay
their £4 per week rent and, instead, about 50% paid it into a Student
Union holding bank account, the interest being used to pay for the
propaganda battle. Some £120,000 between October 1972 and April
1973 was kept away from the University and it was put under severe
cash flow pressures.
I am pleased to say that I had enough sense to realise in my third
year that I needed to get my head down to obtain a degree and so,
having played the front man and set up the protest, I pulled out
from further student agitation from autumn 1972 and left it to other
hotheads to create havoc from the confrontation.
The University eventually offered a compromise of £4.35, which
was thrown out by the general meeting of students against the advice
of its now ‘moderate’ president (elected by the full student franchise),
and this led to an occupation of Senate House about ten days before
the end of the spring term 1973, which became national news. This
was wildly exciting stuff for the Left Wing but, of course, was going
nowhere. No new ‘discoveries’ were made among the ‘files’ in
Senate House to sustain the grievance propaganda war and, with the
holidays approaching, everybody went off home.
£4.35 was subsequently agreed while Surrey’s image had suffered
much damage from the sit-in.
You may have guessed that, though at 20 with a heart I was a
Socialist, by the time I was 30 I had discovered my head and was
voting Centre Right. The above story illustrates the danger when the
Far Left (who seem to be back in fashion) has an opportunity to take
control of Trade or Student Unions or single issue pressure groups.
Their primary focus is in revolution rather than the interests of their
members.
Lorne is now Principal of Carew Smith International, a
management recruitment company. He has also donated the
Carew Smith Long Driving flask that has been presented annually
at the Alumni/Students Golf Meeting for the last 10 years.
MARK OWEN
FILM FEVER
It’s a Ross Kemp
In the Literature Section
extravaganza in this week’s Arvind Virdee takes an
theatre section, as Daisy alternative look at George
Clay heads off too see ‘The Orwell’s first novel - not
Taming of the Shrew’.
for the fain hearted!
THE KILLS
PULL A U
Domino
RZA
BIRTH OF PRINCE
Island Records
The latest offering from one of
the biggest hip hop producers,
but most people would
probably know him better as
a member of the massive Wu
Tang Clan. The overall sound
is a bit sameish. It has all the
usual hip hop characteristics:
lyrics about drugs, alcohol
and all the women they can
possibly get into one room
such as Drink, Smoke and
Fcuk. Featuring special
guests Ol’ Dirty Bastard and
Ghostface Killah. It does offer
some great beats behind the
somewhat predictable rapping.
If you’re a hardcore hip hop
fan then this should definitely
appeal to you. d.m.
IGGY POP
SKULL RING
Virgin
This is Iggy’s eagerly
anticipated follow up to his
2001 album Beat em Up,
and a reconvention with his
original band mates from The
Psychedelic Stooges back
in 1967. This album also
has collaborations with his
Stooges, Green Day, Peaches,
The Trolls and Sum 41 who
appear on the first single Little
Know It All. The album Skull
Ring is a dose of old skool
punk with modern twists and
in general is an upbeat album
with some catchy tunes.
Some personal favourites
include Perverts in the Sun
and the single Little Know
It All, which are very catchy
tunes. Iggy Pop is back with a
brilliant dose of good quali ty
radio friendly punk that should
be listened to by all. p.w.
ms
Adding momentum to the burgeoning ‘two-piece Theprefixed girl/guy combo’ movement, The Kills, bolstered by
the lascivious vocals of VV (aka Alison), easily rival their celebrated
Detroit-based counterparts in the gritty lo-fi blues stakes. Except Jack
and Meg are unlikely to ever record a Jonathan Fire*Eater cover as a
B-side – and if they do, it won’t sound this good. j.d.
Danko Jones release their second
album We Sweat Blood as a
follow up to 2001s acclaimed
Born a Lion. They sound
somewhere between Motorhead,
AC/DC and The Wildhearts and
have opened for The Rolling
Stones. The first single I Want
You is a catchy little bit of rock n
roll, and other album highlights
are Dance , Home to Hell and
Hot Damn Woman. Also on the
track Heartbreaks a Blessing
they seemed to have borrowed
some lyrics from Aerosmith. ;
The band will be over here in
December on tour so be sure to
catch them. p.w.
albu
singular
single
DANKO JONES
WE SWEAT BLOOD
Bad Taste Records
outstanding
excellent
good
average
poor
SHIOBBHAN DONAGHY
REVOLUTION IN ME
London Records
TRAVIS
12 MEMORIES
Independiente
The red haired Sugarbabe who
seemed to vanish from the scene
for a while, has re-emerged
with a surprisingly good album.
Shiobhan proves that going solo,
from what has become one of
the better known British female
groups, was not a horrendous
mistake. With great production
and some writing help, the songs
flow beautifully and play around
with various genres, a bit of rock,
funky beats and some ethnic
touches like a Chinese folk sound
on Next Human (xy). Its what
Natalie Imbruglia could be if
she had Massive Attack and the
Sugarbabes lending a hand. d.m.
During Travis’ enforced 18 month break, it seems that their
main rivals Coldplay have shifted up a gear or two and started
implementing their plans to take over the world. Travis still seem
to be stuck in first gear and are having all sorts of problems with
the clutch. 12 Memories retains their trademark sound, although
lyrically it’s much darker, as seen in Peace the Fuck Out and Mid-Life
Krysis. The problem is there are no real stand out songs on the album.
Current single Re-offender is the only song that even comes close to
their previous glories, although the heady days of Turn and Sing seem a
long way away now. j.a.
22-20s
05/03
Heavenly Records
The American monopoly on
garage rock may be coming to an
end. This live mini album, taken
from the Lincolnshire trio’s tour
of the UK in May of this year
(hence the album title), showcases
some fantastic bluesy tunes that
wouldn’t be out of place in the
basement of some scuzzy club
in New York. With tunes such
as Devil in Me and Such a Fool
oozing rawness and power, maybe
they can inject some freshness
into a scene that is starting to
become quite stale. j.a.
a perfect circle
This week’s music section is brought to you
by: Matt Badcock, Jon Allen, Catherine Lee,
Jonathan Darzi, Dina Mystris, Michael Field,
Peter Wigfield, and Neil ‘Tree’ Boulton.
13
MUSIC
23 October 2003
ROCKET SCIENCE
WELCOME ABOARD THE 3C10
BASEMENT JAXX
KISH KASH
THE CARLSONICS
The Carlsonics
Rocket Science offer an assured
and impossibly cool debut
album, bringing a much-needed
dose of funk into the Garage
Rock genre. With Welcome…
they manage to incorporate
an eclectic collection of songs
which are far greater than the
sum of it’s parts. Songmanship
is top of the agenda, as lyrics
take a backseat, but this does
not in any way detract from
the talent which oozes from
the speakers. In short this is
an album that demands full
listening, and at just over half an
hour, leaves you wanting more I urge you to investigate. m.f
British dance gurus, Basement
Jaxx are continuously on the pulse
of music scene moving with the
times with their mix of innovative
dance taking another genre and
giving it a good old kick up the
ass. The impressive Good Luck
will no doubt electrify any dance
floor with Lisa Kekaula of the
Bellrays thunderous vocals on
what is a storming track. Man of
the moment and 2003 Mercury
Prize winner, Dizzee Rascal adds
his vocals to the magnificent Lucky
Star that combines Eastern sounds
with Rascals expressive urban
style, a sure fire winner. Third
album from Basement Jaxx, Kish
Kash is a fine all round album
with masses of innovative quality
that will delight any open minded
dance lover. m.b.
All the signs are bad when presented with this record; eponymous
album title, naughty words in song titles, half-arsed looking cover
(not that we judge cds like that) and such contrived, trite song titles
as Done In, Malaria Drive Through, Fucked Up and Out of Line. And
those omens are proved correct as this Washington 3-piece (fronted
by Archie Moore of Velocity Girl and The Heartworms, all ye music
buffs) dish out an orphanage gruel-like trudge through rock past, but
with staid production, distant vocals and very boring songs. Some
jagged riffs and catchy intro’s make things a bit more bearable but
these 3-minute rock songs aren’t a patch on their obvious heroes the
Stooges and to an extent MC5. m.d.f
Eat Sleep Records
The Strokes
Room On Fire
Rough Trade
Possibly the most anticipated
release of the year follows
the phenomenal 2001 debut
Is This It that projected The
Strokes into the limelight being
hailed the best band in world.
Room On Fire opens in style
with the fabulous What Ever
Happened? offering delightfully
memorable guitar melodies and
Julian’s characteristic vocals.
First single off the album, 12:
51 encapsulates in two and
half minutes what they’re
about, captivating guitars and
New York vocals producing a
wondrous sound of pure chic
Rock n Roll. The closest The
Stokes may get to a ballad,
Under Control is outrageously
fantastic, rivalling What Ever
Happened? as the star of
album with its quite beautiful
lyrics and mellow backing.
Progressing from Is This It is
a hard achievement for anyone
with their rather blasé approach
putting the cynics to rest.
Lasting no more than 33 minutes
the maturely confident second
album Room On Fire lives up to
the hype with this fine collection.
m.b.
XL Recordings
Arena Rock
To become part of the
bf
music team, just
turn up to the meetings
at
5.15pm on Mondays in
the
USSU Media Centre
or email barefacts@ussu.co.uk.
SIDEWINDER
Resolution
Fenetik Music
Classically trained cellist Sidewinder, from Reading, boasts an
impressive c.v., having mixed for the likes of Groove Armada and
Ministry of Sound and produced many compilations around the
world over the past five years. As such this album on Soma Records
offshoot and chilled beats specialists Fenetik looks and feels much
like a compilation, so far as mentioning individual tracks is somewhat
meaningless. The music flows pleasingly and ticks a lot of late-nightchill-out-y boxes. The aim was to create a seamless mix of genrehopping, sample-laded, emotive sounds and that has been achieved well
despite the occasional cringe-inducing moments when some cheesier
sounds sneak in. I put this CD on as a good soundtrack to work to; it
doesn’t get too flustered and isn’t really interesting enough to prove
distracting. m.d.f.
I AM KLOOT @
Shepherds Bush
Empire - 8th October
Mancunians, I AM KLOOT are
greeted by a muted response as
they take the stage after the most
bizarre support known to man, the
karaoke Gimp wilding local boys,
King Have Long Arms. Starting
off slowly the pace momentarily
picks up with Your Favourite Sky
and the exquisite To You off debut
album Natural History. Promoting
self-titled second album the
KLOOTS show promise with front
man, Johnny Bramwell at the helm
with his expressive vocals. As I
left the venue a loud bloke shouted
what did you think of them? His
rather glum mate responded, “I’ve
seen more life in a world war one
grave”. Not the most joyous band
in the world but why should they
when they’re musically sound if
slightly sombre. m.b.
Biffy Clyro/
Crackout @
Mean Fiddler
14th October
Biffy Clyro and Crackout are two of the founder members
of the current Brit-rock movement including the likes of Kinesis
and Funeral For A Friend. Whereas bands like My Vitriol and
Vex Red have fallen by the wayside, tonight’s bands have got to the
promised land of the second album. Crackout have a few fantastic
songs, and on record they are great, but live, Steven Eagles’ vocals
leave a lot to be desired. Fortunately they do have the tunes to (more
or less) cover it up, and old tracks like I Am the One and You Dumb
Fuck combined well with new tracks including Robots Have Feelings.
However, Biffy Clyro still showed them how it should be done. Their
music seems to flit from soft guitar melodies to raucous “If I attack
these guitar strings enough, maybe they’ll break” all out rock, and
back again, usually several times in one song. The tunes ranged from
the fantastic melodies of 27,
Justboy and 57 off their debut
album to the ridiculously titled,
yet fantastically loud toys, toys,
toys, choke, toys, toys, toys.
th
The gig finished with Simon
Neill climbing the speakers and
When I heard The Thrills’ debut album, I was quite disappointed.
screaming the final lyrics right
After hearing One Horse Town and Big Sur I was expecting a few
into the faces of those standing
more killer tunes. However, live, they are a completely different
in the upper level of the Mean
proposition. Tonight they were supported by Adam Green, one half
Fiddler. Now the current rumour
of indie oddballs The Moldy Peaches. His solo material is a quirky
is, they are lined up to play No
combination of Johnny Cash’s tunes, Nick Cave’s vocals and Craig
Wave Live later this semester.
Nicholls’ attitude. I really liked him, but he was still not good enough
Here’s hoping... j.a.
to avoid being inexplicably booed off the stage. The crowd reception
for The Thrills was somewhat better. Well, in fact, everyone went
nuts! Within the first six songs, they had thrown away all of the songs
that I had decided were encore possibilities – Santa Cruz (You’re Not
That Far), Big Sur and One Horse Town. Not that I was complaining,
their Beach Boys style American West coast surf-rock sounded
absolutely fantastic. As the show continued, they played the
majority of their album So Much for the City, plus several
new tracks, eventually finishing with a romp through
Don’t Steal Our Sun, effectively telling everyone that,
no, we don’t need any big hits to finish with, because the
rest of our songs are just as good! Thanks lads,
the brilliance of your live performance
has now well and truly converted
me. j.a.
The Thrills @ Shepherds Bush Empire
11 October
gigs
14
THEATRE
23 October 2003
T h e Ta m i n g o f t h e S h r e w
by william Shakespeare
After much anticipation, Daisy Clay heads off to the Yvonne Arnaud to see Ross Kemp in all his glory
After arriving a little late (oops) due to
a distinct lack of parking as everyone piled
into Guildford town centre to see Ross Kemp
and Nicola McAuliffe in action, I came faceto-face with my dislike of heights, being
seated in the upper circle. Once the feelings
of dizziness and nausea subsided (yes, I’m
a total wimp) I became so involved in the
performance that I soon forgot my fears.
Previous to the performance, I had
not encountered this particular work of
Shakespeare’s and knew nothing of the
storyline. However, having studied various
other Shakespeare pieces (Macbeth and
Romeo & Juliet – those GCSE classics)
I was familiar with the lingo and didn’t
have too much trouble picking up what I
had missed. It also did not take long before
I started feeling a strong sense of déjà vu.
I had heard this story before in a film, and
the film in which I had heard this story was
none other than the classic chick flick (and
a favourite of mine to be honest) 10 Things
I Hate About You, a modernisation film
version of the play.
The play is set in Verona, where we meet
Baptista Minola of Padua’s two daughters:
the younger highly popular Bianca and
the older Katherina the Shrew. Cue the
entrance of Petruchio, who endeavours to
woo the bitter and seemingly unwinnable
Katherina so that he can take her dowry and
so that his friend Hortensio can marry the
desired and fought over Bianca, who has
sworn not to wed until her sister does. Soon
after Petruchio begins to ‘tame’ Katherina
by pretending that he finds her rudeness
and resentful attitude appealing they get
married. Whilst Petruchio continues his
attempts to break the spirit of Kate, other
men compete desperately for Bianca’s
attentions, creating confusion that is
somewhat classic of Shakespearean plays
whereby two men pretend to be each other
and another man pretends to be someone
else in order to get closer to Bianca. It all
gets a little complicated but that is all part
of the fun. Bianca then marries, and the
play later concludes with a bet to see who
has the most subservient wife leading to an
unexpected result.
Nichola McAuliffe as Katherina the
Shrew is full of attitude and immediately
dominates the stage, with loud displays of
anger, especially towards men, contrasting
strongly with her congenial, although
somewhat spoilt-brat-like, sister. McAuliffe
delivered
a
thoroughly
captivating
performance throughout, portraying a fierce
battle by Kate against her feelings, keeping
the audience guessing as to Kate’s true
thoughts.
Having met Kate, we hear that the big, bald
and bearded Petruchio, played by Albert
Square’s old bad boy Ross Kemp. Despite
having known Ross Kemp primarily in the
role of Grant Mitchell I found it easy to forget
this, and to see him purely as Petruchio. He
made the transition from screen to stage
without flinching, and delivered his lines
with perfect comic timing.
The relationship between Kate and
Petruchio has been widely discussed, as it
is sometimes hard to understand the motives
behind their interactions. Despite Kate’s
initial attitude towards men, Kate eventually
gives into Petruchio, abandoning her
unpleasant manner. It seems that this happens
when they finally embrace each other, and
as Nichola McAuliffe described in the aftershow discussion, when Kate touches him it
is “like being hit by something – amazing”
and she realises how amazing a relationship
can be. Petruchio also seems to enjoy Kate’s
company, appearing to take pleasure from
her feisty nature. This leads us to think it
could be possible that they actually do come
to love each other. Nevertheless it must be
added that Petruchio not once actually refers
to Kate as a ‘shrew’ to be tamed, but as a
falcon to be trained instead, which is much
more of a challenge with more risks and less
control.
The after show discussion involved Nichola
McAuliffe and also the producer Thelma
Holt, CBE. This helped to add further
insight into certain character motivations
and chosen interpretations of Shakespeare’s
work. McAuliffe explained how Petruchio’s
game-playing was less about taunting or
frustrating Kate, but more about trying to
meet her at her own attitude to find some
comedy in Kate’s contemptuousness. This
was rather humorous as Petruchio explained
that Kate could not complained that he was
being horrid as he would maintain that
his actions were spurred from love. For
example, he denies he food for the first day
of their marriage whilst she is still ‘shrewlike’ saying that it was not good enough
for her, all truly in an attempt to break
her will. He also plays mind games with
Kate, repeatedly saying that the moon is
shining, whilst it is clear to all that the sun
is shining, and that nothing can continue
until Kate agrees that the moon shine not
sun. As soon as Kate agrees just to keep
him happy, Petruchio says that it is sun.
Ross Kemp played these mind games with a
mad-spark of enjoyment in his eyes, perhaps
left over from his time as a Mitchell brother,
as despite the absurdity of the situation the
manipulation was entirely believable.
Despite a cast of 24, I was thoroughly
impressed by their constant focus and the
effort put into their performance, as it was
always the case that wherever you looked
on stage, regardless of where the action was,
Ross Kemp and Nichola McAuliffe
each actor would be reacting in some way
that was interesting to watch. Regardless
of how big a part the actor had, they gave
it their all and this really showed to the
audience.
Once the play had finished there were
still a few funny moments in the after-show
discussion, primarily when one man asked
McAuliffe her opinion of Kate obeying
Petruchio’s orders of her and whether this
was acceptable in a relationship – there
were sarcastic undertones in this question,
which became understood when McAuliffe
told him that Kate did not simply take orders
from Petruchio, but that it was about respect
and love…and then said that the questioning
man was her actually husband! She then
made the important point that being in love
is about being willing to give up what you
enjoy most in the world, but trusting your
partner not to ask.
When asked to compare The Taming of the
Shrew with her role in Chitty Chitty Bang
Bang, McAuliffe explained that “chitty
was performing…this is acting”, where the
audience, instead of being made to think
‘weren’t those actors good’, are made
more to think about the characters and the
implications arising from their situations.
This was entirely true for me, as I left the
auditorium thinking much more about the
characters than about the actors.
This production of The Taming of the
Shrew was set in the 1960s, which was
chosen for the importance of money in
society at that time. A theme of the play
is money, which is especially relevant to
the situation of Petruchio and Kate, where
Petruchio temporarily starves Kate of food
and dresses her in tattered clothes. This
shows us how, once we realise that love
is about so much more than what we look
like or what we have, it is about the person
we are inside. This may seem obvious, but
Kate only truly realises this once Petruchio
has dressed her in his tattered clothing. The
audience is shown that once we realise the
relative unimportance of materials and
money, we become happier.
Although the couples around Kate and
Petruchio seem set to last longer, or rather
that they say that Kate and Petruchio’s
relationship seems set to fail, the seemingly
perfect couple of Luciano and Bianca soon
appear to be much less than this. The place
at which the play ends leads us to wonder if
a more destructive side of their relationship
would emerge in the event of a third act to
the play. An overall message that although
people say that a Kate and Petruchio will
never last, they work against the odds, and
end up being a couple happier than most
because of this – true love prevails over all!
THEATRE
23 October 2003
An Audience
with Ross Kemp
Ross Kemp takes a few moments out of his busy
rehearsal schedule to answer some questions for
barefacts’ theatre section.
Describe your character in Taming;
and how realistic do you think
he is compared to men today?
Petruchio is eccentric, educated and wellread but very poor. I think he is as realistic
as anyone else is today - he is solving
the problem of not having any money by
marrying someone for their dowry - I
am sure that is happening in many places
across the world today. Ultimately it
is a love story, the development of two
people’s regard and love for each other
and in the end they are happier than
anyone else. It is an endearing love and
I think the relationship will definitely last.
What is the appeal of doing a
Shakespearean play; and have you done
much before?
It is an enormous challenge; I haven’t
done Shakespeare since I was at drama
school. He is the best writer of all time;
when I was asked if I would be interested
I did think about it for a couple of days,
but thought I have ‘actor’ in my passport,
I should definitely have a go at one of his
plays and this is one of his greatest - I am
really honoured to be playing Petruchio.
Is acting for the stage very different
to working on TV? In what ways?
Yes, very, very different. I am really
enjoying rehearsing this and developing
Petruchio’s character. Television is a
very different process, you have no real
rehearsal time and as an actor you have to
be more instinctive and do things off the
top of your head. Working in theatre also
has the benefit of getting to really know
your fellow actors - I am loving that side
of things as well, they are a great company
of people and have been a great support.
I believe you became involved with this
because of Nichola McAuliffe? Is this
true, and what’s it like working with her?
Yes it is true! We met at a party and she said
in passing you should play Petruchio and
low and behold 12 months later here I am
- so the motto of that is be careful of what
you say at parties! I love working with her
and she is a tremendous support.
Want to be part of the
Barefacts Theatre Team? For
more details, email Daisy at
ps21dc@surrey.ac.uk, or just
turn up to barefacts meetings in
the USSU Media Centre at
5pm on Thursdays.
How to get to... Guildford’s Yvonne Arnaud Theatre
By foot from campus:
Leave campus by the bottom
of University Court, go across
Yorkie’s bridge, down the hill
and turn right to go into the
town centre. Walk past the
train station and down Bridge
Street. Then turn right along
Onslow Street (past the Friary
Shopping centre), cut through
the pedestrianised Friary Street,
continue along Millbrook past
Debenhams. The Theatre is just
past this large building on the
right.
Box Office (01483) 440000
www.yvonne-arnaud.co.uk/
15
Theatrical Memoirs for the
Guildford Book Festival
One of the world’s most respected directors
and one of the greatest actors of the
twentieth century are featured at the Yvonne
Arnaud Theatre as part of the Guildford
Book Festival.
Sir Richard Eyre was Artistic Director
of the Royal National Theatre for
most of the 1990s, a period which
critics have described as a golden
age. He has won numerous
awards, including an Olivier
Award for Lifetime Achievement.
He co-wrote the screenplay for, and
directed, the Oscar-winning film Iris,
starring Judi Dench and Kate Winslet;
while his recent book National
Service: A Diary of a Decade is
based on the diary he kept when he
was Director of the RNT. Eyre is in
conversation on the main stage at the
Yvonne Arnaud on Sunday 26th October,
7pm, with Guardian theatre reviewer
Michael Billington.
Alec Guinness was indisputably
one of the greatest actors of the last
century, with memorable performances
in films including Kind Hearts and Coronets,
The Ladykillers, Bridge over the River
Kwai and Star Wars.
After his death in August
2000, his widow asked
author Piers Paul Read
- a friend of Sir Alec’s
- to write a biography
based on private papers and
unpublished diaries.
Piers Paul Read on Sir
Alec Guinness offers a
penetrating and perceptive
insight into the life an
intriguing and complex man
at the Mill Studio, Yvonne
Arnaud Theatre, on Sunday
26th October at 4pm.
George Baker is the quintessential
English leading man, familiar
to television audiences as Chief
Inspector Wexford in The Ruth Rendell
Mysteries. However his career spans
more than fifty years, having worked with
some of the all-time great performers and
directors from the West End to Broadway.
An evening of warm and witty stories
from his recently published memoir
The Way to Wexford can be seen
on the main stage at the Yvonne
Arnaud at 7pm on Sunday 2nd
November.
Ermyntrude and Esmeralda, the
charming, witty and racy tale of
two seventeen year old girls caused a
stir in 1914. But it’s author, Lytton
Strachey, was already known as
a controversial figure, being the
doyen of the famed Bloomsbury
Group. Strachey and his outrageous
tales are brought to life by Tim Heath
(Summoned by Bells, Not Yet the Dodo)
in Lytton Strachey: By Himself at the
Mill Studio on Friday 31st October
and Saturday 1st November, 8pm.
Tickets for Main Stage shows are
£10; Mill Shows are £8. Box Office
is open Mon to Sat 10am to 8pm - call
01483 44
00 00.
How to get to... New Victoria Theatre, Woking
By car: Woking is just a 10 minute drive
from Guildford, and parking is free in the
Peacocks car park after 6pm. The New
Victoria Theatre is part of the Peacocks
Centre in central Woking, easily accessible
from the M25 (Jct 10,11), M3 (Jct 3) and
A3.
By train: Woking is also just a 10 minute
train journey from Guildford, with trains
going every 5-20 minutes between
Guildford and Woking.
Box Office (01483) 545 900
www.theambassadors.com/newvictoria/
16
FILM
23 October 2003
John
Secretary Being
Classic of the Week
Malkovich
By Tuoyo Amuka
As far as cinema goes, dealing with
themes of an adult nature has always been
tricky. Often a director’s vision could be
succinctly translated onto screen a la 91⁄2
weeks or artistic misrepresentation could
easily ensue, Showgirls anyone. Secretary
superbly manages to surprise and entertain
accordingly.
Director Steven Shainberg’s latest offering
deals with the world of sado-masochism
with such aplomb, I was very compelled
to view his earlier works. The movie stars
Maggie Gyllenhaal in her first starring role
as Lee Holloway, a vulnerable, recovering
depressive. As the story is told in flashback,
she narrates the experiences that have led
her to her current situation. We’re duly
transported 6 months earlier, as Holloway is
discharged from a psychiatric hospital. Her
tenure, the result of severing an artery when
a routine self-mutilation exercise goes awry.
To dull the pain of her aimless existence
and escape from an overbearing mother, she
gets a job as the titular assistant to a local
lawyer.
That 80’s relic, James Spader gives a
towering performance as the attorney in
question. On the surface he appears to be
a comparatively decent individual, the only
allusion to his deviancy, a fondness for exotic
flora that’s displayed in his office. Which
appears to have been at the epicentre of
some natural disaster when Lee responds to
an advertisement for the secretarial position.
Initially Mr. E Edward Grey (Spader)
attempts to discourage Miss Holloway from
applying by asking some uncomfortable
questions, but Lee gets the job all the same.
Despite his yuppie-like appearance, Grey
is a stickler for old-fashioned values, aloof
and vociferously chastises Holloway when
she makes typographical errors. At one
point he loses his composure, tells Lee to
come into office, work in hand, instructs
her to lean over his desk while reading
out her effort. And proceeds to spank her.
Hard. Thereafter Lee and Grey embark
upon a bizarre and interesting relationship.
One that is dictated by domination and
submission, soon he’s telling her how to
dress, what to eat and how. Lee flourishes
as result of this subversive association. Soon
after she’s making mistakes intentionally,
suddenly Grey stops getting physical after
realising he’s no longer in control. This
leaves Lee devastated and she tries to inflict
the punishments on herself ; to no avail.
The last third of the movie deals with the
reconciliation of Grey and Lee, after she
is fired and discovers she’s in love with
him. It ends on a somewhat indecisive note
as director Shainberg frets on the issue
of closure. Does Lee get her man or not?
Suffice to say you find yourself rooting for
her, hoping she does.
This movie was released to a lot of hostility
in the U.S as some promotional posters
depicted a woman bent double, just touching
her ankles with the slogan “Assume the
position” emblazoned underneath. While
others had the woman in question stooping
across a desk with Spader’s face, subtly
positioned so one could just about view it.
A few rather vocal feminists weren’t too
pleased and made their opinions known
by demonstrating at select cinemas across
the country. If anything it only helped to
raise the profile of the movie. Nevertheless,
Maggie Gyllenhaal is fast becoming
everyone’s favourite odd-ball actress and
she simply illuminates the screen with
every slight nuance in this production. Not
to be outdone James Spader’s understated
rendition of sexual deviant, Edward Grey
is near perfect. In fact, this is a movie the
Marquis de Sade would have paid money
to see. Steven Shainberg has created a cult
masterpiece that neither passes judgement
on alternative sexuality nor mocks that most
sacred liberal mantra ; “different strokes for
different folks” literally. Secretary is out
now on general release, DVD and VHS.
BY NEIL BOULTON | FILM EDITOR
In this weeks film section the general theme
is ‘A Day At The Office’. Actually less of a
theme and more of a tenuous link. Anyway,
if you are sitting comfortably, we shall
begin. Being John Malkovich represents the
working day grind at it’s most surreal and
maybe calling a film that’s only 4 years old
‘Classic of the Week’ is a bit premature, but
I think it deserves it. It’s not often a film so
originally bizarre gets filmed and let alone
with a big a cast as this.
John Cusack plays Craig, an out-of-work
and down-on-his-luck puppeteer (due to a
‘wintery economic climate’) living in New
York, who is forced to take a job outside
of his beloved art by his wife (Cameron
Diaz) in order to make ends meet. And so
he starts work as a filing clerk at Lestercorp.
A company located on the 7 and a 1⁄2 floor
of a tall building (Getting to work involves
stopping the lift between floors and forcing
open the doors with a crowbar - After that
you can’t help notice the ceiling’s half as
high) and that’s where he spends his days
filing. That is until he discovers a small door
in the back of one of the offices, a door that
leads him inside the head of John Malkovich.
Once going through this door you see the
world through John Malkovich’s eyes, then
after fifteen minutes or so you get spat out
into a ditch on the side of the New Jersey
turnpike. With the help of Maxine (Catherine
Keenar), a colleague he’s fallen helplessly in
love with, they decide to make a quick buck
on the magic door and start selling tickets to
go inside John Malkovich’s head and see the
world through his eyes. Cusack’s longings
for Maxine go unfulfilled as she falls for
his wife Lotte… but only when she’s inside
John Malkovich, an unusual love triangle
develops with Malkovich completely
unaware of Lotte being inside his head.
Scorned, Craig tries to be with Maxine by
going inside Malkovich’s head instead of
Lotte. All goes great until Malkovich finds
out about the business and the bizarre use of
his head and especially when Craig works
out how to control Malkovich from inside
his head. Then one question starts to arise
– Why does Malkovich have a portal?
Looking at it on paper probably made most
movie executives think “It’s never gonna
happen”, but it did and I’m very happy that
it did. The thing that probably got it made
was John Malkovich agreeing to be in it
playing a not-quite version of himself (His
middle name’s Gavin, not Horatio…). The
plot and the story are amazing, the amazing
premise being teamed up with excellent
writing and where the film is basically a
comedy, and it is very funny, towards the
end it also adopts several deeper tones. The
plot taking an unusual glance at the concepts
behind being someone else, the self, identity
and at the very end even a look at hell. The
film was directed by Spike Jonze, formerly
responsible for shooting music videos
(He directed the video where Christopher
Walken danced around a deserted hotel…
before taking flight around the lobby), and
he does a bang up job with it – his years of
music videos being excellent training for the
subject matter. Also all the leads perform
greatly with the unusual subject matter.
John Cusack is excellent as the unlucky
and confused Craig Schwartz, Cameron
Diaz does well as sexually confused Lotte
– looking nothing like you’ve seen her in
previous films (Blonde locks lost in favour
of giant frizzy hair and dodgy sweaters)
and Catherine Keener was nominated for an
Oscar in her role as the independent Maxine.
The film’s visual style is superb and leads to
many stand out moments, such as; Craig’s
initiation at Lestercorp, Craig discovering
the portal, a frenzied race through
Malkovich’s subconscious and the answer
to the question “What happens when a man
goes into his own portal?” If you haven’t
understood any of this, I suggest you go see
the movie, all will become clear and you’ll
be watching the most original film of recent
years. If you have understood me, go see it
anyway, you’ll have a similar experience.
23 October 2003
17
FILM
Extra Terrestrial - The Week Ahead
Given the fact that Halloween is almost upon us those
shady figures behind the various TV channels have been
putting their thinking caps on and… well… Guess what
– Horror movies! Channel 4 is putting on something
it’s dubbed ‘Shriek Week’ which has lead to a definite
scary twinge to the week’s proceedings. Spooky.
BBC2 |
1:20am –
2:30am
Little Shop Of Horrors | Roger Corman again, and no, this isn’t that film with
Steve Martin and Rick Morranis in it. This is the original, before the remake.
Same plot applies though – a boy working in a flower shop grows a plant with
a taste for human flesh. That needs feeding. A lot.
Sunday
26th October 2003
The Matrix | Given the recent hype of this films twin sequels Reloaded
& Revolutions this film doesn’t need too much of an introduction. Keanu
Reeves plays the computer hacker who finds out the world we’re living in is
actually a computer simulation imprisoning us all. Kung-fu and special effects
everywhere.
Thursday
23rd October 2003
Five |
9:00pm –
11:40pm
Five |
9:00pm –
10:55pm
An American Werewolf In London | John Landis’ famous Werewolf romp
- Two American tourists get attacked by a Werewolf whilst spending some time
in quaint ol’ England. Definitely check out this Horror/Comedy hybrid, it also
has Oscar winning special effects by Rick Baker too, which apparently makes
the Werewolf transformation scene a real treat.
BBC1 |
10:55pm –
12:45am
Friday
24th October 2003
ITV |
12:00am –
2:15am
The X Files | One of the few non-horror films in this weeks listing… or
maybe it’s just a matter of opinion. Anyway, film adaptation of the popular
Sci-fi TV show. Two FBI agents, Mulder & Scully, go off in search of proof of
extraterrestrial life. The film has some nice set pieces in amongst its conspiracy
story line. Aliens, cover-ups, the works.
Falling Down | This film fits right in with this week’s Office-based theme and
also a film I’ll probably take more in depth look at later. Michael Douglas takes
the lead alongside Robert Duvall as he plays a man who on his way to work
looses it slightly and decides to walk home, leaving a trail of destruction in his
path created by his annoyances with the world. Watch it.
Channel 4 |
11:05pm –
12:35am
The Blair Witch Project | Low budget student film does good. The premise is
three students going off into the Maryland woods in search of the Blair Witch.
A year after their disappearance their film cameras are found. Lots of footage
of the woods, if you like that sort of thing.
Five |
1:00am –
2:25am
Frankenstein Unbound | Although it’s directed by Roger Corman – a man
famous for his super-low-budget schlock film making – apparently this film is
far from schlocky. Starring John Hurt, it concerns a scientist who inadvertently
gets sent back in time after inventing a weapon of mass destruction. He ends up
meeting a very real Dr. Frankenstein (Raul Julia) and his famous monster.
Channel 4 |
12:35am –
2:00am
Repossessed | Leslie Nielson! – It’s about damn time there was some
Nielson on TV. Anyway, the film’s a spoof of the Exorcist, and most of the
gags’ll probably be groan worthy. But it’s a spoof so it should be some good
disposable fun.
Saturday
25th October 2003
Monday
27th October 2003
Channel 4 |
4:55pm –
6:30pm
The Witches | Horror films aren’t for everyone, so with that in mind… Here’s
The Witches. Roald Dahl’s book is given the big screen treatment starring
Anjelica Huston and Rowan Atkinson amongst others. A boy discovers a
convention of witches in a hotel where they plot to rid the world of all children.
Saving the day would be easier if he hadn’t been turned into a mouse as well.
Channel 4 |
10:40pm –
1:05am
Bram Stoker’s Dracula | Young lawyer Jonathan Harker (A very cardboard
Keanu Reeves) is sent to Dracula’s (Gary Oldman spraying ham everywhere
– Nice) castle to finalise a land deal, but when Dracula sees a photo of Harker’s
fiancee, Mina, who unfortunately is the spitting image of Dracula’s dead wife,
he imprisons him and sets off for London to track her down.
BBC1 |
11:25pm –
1:15am
The Omen | Yes. The film with the Cathedral in it. The wife of an American
ambassador has a stillborn child, at the time they substitute another child for
their own. As the boy grows up they find out he is in fact the son of Satan. As
you do. Horror classic.
Channel 4 |
1:05am –
3:00am
The Wicker Man | Christopher Lee, you can’t have a bunch of horror films
with out him! A policeman from the mainland comes to the little offshore
island of Summerisle to investigate the disappearance of a girl. Upon arriving
he discovers the island’s tight-knit Pagan community. Definitely one to watch,
especially with its great ending.
BY NEIL BOULTON
Literature
18
LITERATURE
23 October 2003
Burmese Days - by George Orwell
Arvind Virdee takes a rather alternative look at George Orwell’s controversial first novel
Burmese Days was George Orwell’s first novel, inspired by
his miserable stint in the Burmese Imperial Police Service.
When you read the first chapter, you get a heady stink of
near every author who took up pen ‘twixt 1918 and 1945;
it smells of Waugh, Woolf, Forster, and a whole slew of the
melodramatic little turds. And consequently you know – or
you think you know – exactly what you’re gonna get.
U Po Kyin, the principal baddie, is a Burmese magistrate
who has risen to his position on a veritable fountainhead
of corruption, engaging in every form of venality you can
imagine. Dr. Veraswami is the local medico; not only his
training but his entire outlook seems imported from the
West. He is an enthusiast par excellence of the British
and their Empire, a kind of Indian Uncle Tom, if you will.
His close friend is the white timber merchant Mr. Flory, a
member of the exclusive European Club. The club is due to
elect its first non-white member; U Po Kyin seeks to slander,
discredit and ultimate disgrace Veraswami in the eyes of the
Europeans by a policy of subterfuge, calculated deceit, and
dirty tricks. Naturally thwarting Veraswami’s admittance to
the Club.
And now can you guess at the plot? Go on, take a wild stab.
I anticipated for my part nothing more than a pant-wettingly
drossy yarn about how noble Dr. Veraswami and upstanding
Mr Flory over the course of 200 pages beat U Po Kyin at his
own game, and perhaps send him off to Wasp Island with his
nuts coated in jam. Meanwhile Veraswami, the paragon of a
decent, British value system is accepted to the Club, and all
the protagonists dance around singing the praises of Imperial
glory and righteousness.
That what you thought? You don’t know jack, and you
sure as hell don’t know George. After you keep reading
you get struck with the extreme distaste which Orwell held
for those imperialistic sentiments he had heard bounced
around during his time in Burma. The Europeans spend
their time shut away inside their club from the country they
have conquered and claim to be nurturing, at their worst
constantly emitting casually vicious remarks slating “the
slimy little babus” who do all their work for them. Orwell
does a hell of a job in getting across the utter despair of
his main character Flory; as he is constantly reminded that
nowhere among the Europeans, even the kinder, gentler ones
can he find an affirmation of what he knows to be true – that
an Indian or a Burman is a human being no better and no
worse than a European.
And it dawns on you. In Burmese Days lie the seeds for
1984. Flory, every bit as much as Winston Smith, strives
for the freedom of thought which he is denied, and seeks
salvation through a fit bird. Which in Flory’s case is a real
posh hum dinger named Elizabeth Lackersteen, the newly
arrived niece of one of the club’s members. Yet where
Winston’s Julia was a dame after his own heart; Elizabeth
Lackersteen is as genteely bigoted against the locals as any
the others. Flory can’t see it, of course; in a nutshell, he
cannot believe that anyone with eyes so blue, hair so blond,
and tits so nice as hers could be anything other than pure of
mind and heart. He works himself into the happy delusion
that he can bring her round to his point of view; bring her to
love him as he loves her; and finally get hitched so they can
be happy together and all the imperial drum-bashers in the
world can go piss up a rope.
So instead of dry imperial or anti-imperial polemic, you got
a touching tale of unrequited love, the blame for which and
for all the other petty idiocies in the story lies squarely at the
foot of the Empire. And to round things off, it has an ending
every bit as miserable as 1984’s was.
Out of Burmese Days and 1984, I find Orwell’s earlier
and less famous work to be the more powerful and moving.
Both shout loud and clear that the worst thing you can do
to a man is to rob him of his freedom to think. But where
the Party accomplishes its goal with helicopters, cameras,
informants, torture, brainwashing and bullets; the men of
the Club do the same without effort, armed with nothing but
peer pressure and the tyranny of the clique. “Do not think
for yourself; think as we do, or we will shun you, and you
will be alone.”
Freedom of thought has enemies other than governments,
than men with guns. The pressure of conformity is far more
insidious, and in today’s world perhaps more relevant. From
petty group despotisms – remember being cowed into toeing
the line at school? Perhaps even here, at university? – to
the effects of mass media, people seem more ready to shun
forming their own opinions in lieu of swallowing ready-made
ones. There are indeed notable, and admirable exceptions,
but “following a crowd” seems to be depressingly prevalent.
The languid nightmare of Burmese Days shows what this
leads to. Learn this from it. Freedom to think, to draw your
own conclusions, and to live your life as you wish requires
only one act of will. Make that act, I implore you.
- Union Councillor Elections As the role and importance of Union Council is returning to its former high, we are presently in the process of
recruiting students to specific Union Council roles, so that all students are represented democratically.
The role of a Students’ Union Officer is to represent all students and issues within their remit. The following meetings
are for any of you who want to be considered for an ‘Officer’ position, or just have an interest in the issues surrounding
each area :
Monday 27th October 2003, 5.30pm in the Activities Centre Disabled Students’ Officer
Tuesday 28th October 2003, 5.30pm in AP4 International Students’ Officer
Wednesday 29th October 2003, 4.00pm in the Activities Centre Mature Students’ Officer
Wednesday 29th October 2003, 5.30pm in the Activities Centre Environmental Officer
Friday 31st October 2003, 4.00pm in the Activities Centre Part Time Students’ Officer
Friday 31st October 2003, 5.30pm in the Activities Centre Women Students’ Officer
Each officer will bring together a committee of students who are interested in their respective area, which will discuss
issues that can then be fed back to Union Council. This will ensure that the Union is kept informed about the needs of
the students and then have the knowledge and insight to act appropriately.
Examples of issues that could be addressed are: The Environmental Officer may want to increase awareness of
recycling household items across campus accommodation, the Disabled Students’ Officer might look at the current
accessibility of our campus, or the Mature Students’ Officer could explore alternatives to the current social events and
activities offered.
You can offer as much or as little of your time as appropriate to any of these positions, there is not a required weekly
amount. We work on an anytime is better than none philosophy!
If you would like any more information about any of the Officer positions, responsibilities or the appointment process,
please do not hesitate to contact either Pete (president@ussu.co.uk) or Claire (welfare@ussu.co.uk) or pop into the
Union Activities Centre for a chat.
INTERACTIVE
23 October 2003
Word Search
This weeks wordsearch is a bit musical. Matt Adams, Ben Berryman and Neil Christie
have cunningly hidden twenty musical instruments, from the everyday band instrument to
some more exotically orientated works of master craftery. Happy hunting!
If you fancy coming up with a theme for next weeks wordsearch, then email them across to
us barefacts@ussu.co.uk.
U
F
P
E
Q
T
P
Z
C
J
H
Q
U
S
O
B
P
A
L
N
K
T
U
B
A
E
K
P
S
H
S
T
Z
Y
F
O
O
R
R
H
U
F
F
D
C
V
A
E
E
N
O
H
P
O
L
Y
X
G
A
G
Z
C
N
N
V
D
S
P
E
M
D
N
K
F
T
T
I
I
A
I
I
E
L
O
F
B
O
N
L
G
B
N
R
T
C
R
E
U
U
X
U
O
X
U
Y
U
O
U
H
A
E
A
E
A
B
A
S
N
T
P
I
M
O
S
T
G
G
L
V
Q
U
S
D
E
B
L
R
B
P
M
D
O
G
C
O
N
A
I
P
K
D
A
M
D
R
I
B
N
U
O
U
B
F
M
I
A
H
A
R
V
D
O
A
I
I
R
O
X
U
D
X
Z
T
O
B
S
N
I
N
I
T
K
P
R
W
L
O
B
M
Y
S
P
R
O
J
N
A
B
T
B
F
Y
Z
L
E
H
Y
T
P
S
M
U
R
D
M
The answers to this week’s wordsearch are at the bottom of page 20, underneath the Rawson’s Creek.
19
bfpub quiz
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
What is the county town of Essex?
Who played Granville in the TV sitcom Open All Hours?
What is dermatophobia the fear of?
What is the technical name for the collarbone?
Which film actor began his climb to stardom in the classic TV cowboy series Rawhide?
A Bajan is an inhabitant of which island?
Mount Vesuvius is near which Italian city?
In mathematics, which prefix refers to 10 to the power of minus 9?
The name of which dance literally means ‘double step’?
Who shot Mr Burns?
Upsidedown answers to everything in the Interactive section, are
at the bottom of page 20.
If the bf pub quiz has whetted your appetite for something more
‘real’, then grab your mates and toddle along to Chancellor’s at
8.30pm on Thursday night and pit your wits against the resident
quizmaster, Chris ‘Funkyberry’ Hunter, at the weekly
Chancellor’s Challenge.
Numb3r
puzzl3
The words are themed around
this week’s front page story.
The idea is the same
as before unscramble each word, then
take all the letters from the
circles, and unscramble them
to make the final word.
Words and scrambling by
Ben Berryman, the man that
can twist words better that
your average polititian...
Ben Berryman’s number puzzle is back from its brief vacation in the sunny south. Do you
like the number puzzle in barefacts? Got any new ideas for the interactive page? Then pop
over to the nearest computer and let us know at barefacts@ussu.co.uk or come and find us
in the Media Centre at the Students’ Union. The answers to this and all the other Interactive
puzzles are at the bottom of the next page.
It’s very simple really - all you need
to do is fill in the missing numbers
from 1 to 9 in the boxes.
KIRND
ILLP
DYABNR
DGRU
ILQUTAE
DAOVK
KIHSYW
LOHLACO
answer:
Each number is only used once in
the grid.
Each row is a simple maths equation
(argh, remnants of GCSE maths!)
You might or might not remember
that multiplication and division come
before addition and subtraction.
Something about ‘BODMAS’ I seem
to remember. Anyhow, that might
help here...!
20
LIFESTYLE
23 October 2003
The lyrics Quiz
Sabbatical Officers Ickle Sarah and Funkyberry give a random
slice of life from their humble dwellings within Surrey Court
Wey, Battersea Court Tate, and the Students’ Union...
AFTER PUSHING 5 months in my first ever
full time job lasting more than 3 months, I
at last booked a day off last Friday. Since
only 3 days of no work doesn’t really afford
time for a holiday of the likes of jetting off
somewhere hot and sunny, my boyfriend
Ben and I decided to jump on the oh-soluxurious train to Portsmouth and head
across to the semi-sunny Isle of Wight for
a few days by the beach. OK, it’s not quite
your average beach holiday, but despite the
gale force winds the sun was out, and we
were on holiday!
BEN normally forms one half of the ‘Scooter
and Banjo Show’ on GU2 over Friday
lunctime, so he had a sub in for Friday’s
show - the infamous barefacts Editor Crazy
Chris. Unbeknown to us they started the
show talking about the VP Comms and new
Exec Officer being away for a dirty weekend
together, then decided to give Ben a call,
so that through the wonders of modern
technology he could talk on air all the way
from the Isle of Wight! When Scoot asked
Ben “what’ve you done with Sarah?” he
replied “I don’t know what I’ve done with
her, but she’s next to me with a smile on her
face”. A perfectly innocent comment from
him, but perhaps not so, when heard along
with Scott and Chris’ earlier comments!
I now have that feeling when you’ve
been saving something up to tell someone,
and when you see them at last, you just
can’t remember what you were going to
say. Living in Surrey Court Wey, as I do
(the one with the lovely lecture theatre/
amphitheatre/senate house views), I tend to
get ‘entertained’ every Monday, Wednesday
and Friday night at exactly 2am. Yup, that’s
Union kicking out time! Actually, strike out
the Friday from that list, as I’m normally
one of the kicked out masses then, but the
other days I’m treated to some intriguing
snippets of conversation drifting up from
the path right outside my window into my
room. It’s right now I get that feeling. I’ve
heard 101 semi-conversations - you know
the type - where the most random things on
earth are being said, that would have made
sense in their full context, but are completely
confusing to an unwitting eavesdropper.
BUT you know what? I can’t for the life of
me remember any of the strange, bizarre ir
just downright worrying things I’ve heard!
I HAVE BEEN to the theatre quite a few times,
but I had never appreciated the true power
of envelopment that comes with being
seated at the very front of a performance
until tonight. I was kindly asked to review
Madame Bovary for barefacts (see next
week’s Theatre section), and although I
arrived a little late I was allowed to sit in a
jump-seat in the highest furthest back row in
the theatre.
MY view of the stage was about 60% unobstructed, and while you could hear the
characters and see what they were doing,
you felt no emotion for what they were
going through. Expressions… glances…
eye contact… breathing… were all lost over
the distance. The lady next to me had funny
noises in her tummy, my seat almost gave
way when I lent too far forward, there were
red lights in ceiling portals (just too recessed
for me to see though) - and before long it
was time for interval drinks.
POST interval drinks I was able to take up
my ticket’s true allocation, which was an
aisle seat one row from the front of the stage
– and my experience changed totally! The
characters how had eyes, they breathed, and
even shed tears. I was right there – they were
around me, and I was part of their lives.
In moving just fourtyish metres forward
between Acts I can now understand why the
stall seats in the Les Misérables theatre have
tissue boxes in place of binoculars – you feel
what the characters feel.
ON the face of it there seems to be no
parallels between what I have just written
and hedgehogs…but my friends – I took the
red pill!
LAST week I wrote about watching a
hedgehog outside my room, well on Monday
night I helped rescue one that was stuck on
the campus perimeter road by Twyford
Court! This meant getting down on the
ground beside it and touching it, and looking
it in the eye, and even making it jump with
my over excited voice (although someone
else actually moved it in their jumper)… and
if last week I thought hedgehogs were edible
from just watching them – this week I want a
three course meal of hedgehogs!!!
SO as with the theatre, you can kind of get
the idea from watching at a distance, but you
only really get true emotional appreciation
when you are up close to something.
‘ickle sarah butterworth
chris ‘funkyberry’ hunter
Back to lyrics this week, with a mega effort from ‘The Team’, otherwise known as Neil
Christie, Matt Adams, Ben Berryman, Chris Ward and Sarah Butterworth. It’s a bit
of a random collections of songs, but if the various questions and answers thrown around
the Media Centre late on a Tuesday night are anything to go by, it shouldn’t be too hard!
Think you can write the lyrics/slogan/anything else quiz? Email barefacts@ussu.co.uk.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
You said I wasn’t cheap, You paid me twenty pound
I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again
I like cigarettes and that’s no gag, but you’ll always be my favourite fag
Am I just paranoid or am I just stoned?
He drinks a whisky drink, he drinks a vodka drink
From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell
I’d rather be liberated, I find myself captivated
I’ll be stumbling away slowly learning that life is OK
Am I original? Am I the only one? Am I sexual?
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame
This week I am mostly … gathering ammunition before
launching another attack as part of my ongoing fight against
poor customer service!
OK, an appeal to any statisticians amongst you: realistically,
what are the chances of both an album I’ve ordered [a month
ago I hasten to add] and concert tickets for the same band not
ever arriving? Since this is the predicament I find myself in
this week, it looks like I’m to have the joy of finding myself
embroiled in a lengthy exchange of correspondence with
all and sundry as I track both down. Usually, I find writing vitriolic letters demanding
compensation for shoddy service therapeutic, but for some reason, at the minute I can’t
seem to find the words. Never normally one to shy away from antagonism, this serves
as further proof that I’ve not really been feeling myself of late. You see once I get a
principle into my head, there’s no budging my opinion - I’ll defend it to the grave – and
since I’m equally gullible, I will undoubtedly rise to any bait dangled in my direction.
My friend from home thrives on throwing controversial comments into previouslycasual conversation just to see me react [“women going to university are just wasting the
taxpayers’ money” is a particular favourite of his].
I’m not averse to playing devil’s advocate either, if I feel there’s a point to be made. On one
occasion, I managed to totally baffle a waiter by demanding to know what he would serve a
vegetarian given that there were no meat-free options on the menu. He assured me his team
of highly skilled kitchen staff would be able to rustle up a tasty concoction for me from
their exquisite provisions of … cheese and pasta. Now, maybe I underestimated the chef’s
skills but somehow, in comparison with the offerings of sirloin steak and fresh salmon
for the carnivorous diners, an adhoc macaroni-cheese-affair just didn’t seem an adequate
alternative. I said as much, but you can imagine the guy’s confusion when I then proceeded
to order a chicken dish. I then had to embark on a long-winded explanation, that actually
no, I’m not vegetarian but if I was then quite frankly, service would not have been up to
scratch. That gave him food for thought.
To be honest, that this exchange was conducted verbally is fairly out-of-character – I’m
much better on paper, and have been known to spend hours co-ordinating hatemail
campaigns against large corporations [Virgin trains in particular actually but start me on
my experiences of long-distance train travel and that’s a whole other column…] There’s
definitely an art in it: subtly blending disdain and politeness is a skill not to be underrated.
So today, it’s me versus the music industry. Let battle commence.
Catherine Lee
UPSIDEDOWN ANSWERS: Wordsearch: banjo, bassoon, clarinet,
didgeridoo, drums, flute, guitar, harmonica, harpsichord, piano, saxophone,
symbol, tambourine, triangle, trombone, trumpet, tuba, ukulele, viola,
xylophone | bf pub quiz: 1. Chelmsford, 2. David Jason, 3. Skin, 4.
Clavicle, 5. Clint Eastwood, 6. Barbados, 7. Naples, 8. Nano, 9 .Tango, 10.
Maggie Simpson | Lyrics quiz: 1. Babybird – You’re Gorgeous, 2. Dido
– White Flag, 3. The Hazzards – Gay Boyfriend, 4. Greenday – Basketcase,
5. Chumbawumba – Tubthumping, 6. White Stripes – Seven Nation Army,
7. Catatonia – Mulder & Skully, 8. A-ha – Take on Me, 9. Backstreet
Boys – Everybody, 10. Tatu - All The Things She Said | Scramble: drink,
brandy, tequila, whisky, pill, drug, vodka, alcohol, final answer: Rohypnol
21
LIFESTYLE
23 October 2003
silly
Stars
the
by psychic sandy
Libra
With a funky new
hairdo and a cool
wardrobe to match, you
are certainly the bees’
knees as November
rapidly approaches. However, its time to
save those pennies and get In The Zone
with Ms. Spears on the 14th. Stag Hill
Reception is your lucky location, so don’t
stray far and you’ll find everything is fine
and dandy.
Capricorn
Do you ever feel there’s
more to life than being
really really ridiculously
good looking? And
that it’s always ‘Me
Against the Music’? Don’t worry, it won’t
last long – you weren’t cut out to be a
model. Or a pop tart. Then again, you’re so
vain you probably think it’s all about you.
Who knows…but keep Nov. 8th in mind for
musical enlightenment.
Scorpio
Bedridden, snottynosed, weepy-eyed…
all these symptoms
suggest you’re not the
animal you once were.
Its time for you to grab an Orange Mocha
Frapuccino, spray on that 4-star, and set the
place on fire. Wake us up before you go-go.
Aquarius
Give cheese on toast
with Dijon mayonnaise
a try - it’s pretty good.
This week could
be challenged to a
walk-off. Stay away form leopard-print
underwear. It’s for male models only. Choo
choo Thomas. Don’t look at me like that.
Sagittarius
Ged oudda heeeeere…
You had no idea
Magnum would be
so damn powerful.
Girlfriend, you hot! Just
Relax and try to avoid famous people and
world leaders. Find Hansel in the Union
(he’s so hot right now), but avoid the odd
purple coloured alcopops.
Pisces
At least the heated pool
will keep you warm.
If you don’t happen to
own one, a warm bath
will (just about) do. I
know it’s easier said than done, but try and
have a night in this week. You can always
go wild during Reading Week (that’s
obviously what its for).
Aries
Your Fake Tan Fan
problem has been
getting a bit too
much lately. Pale and
interesting is not such
a bad look – particularly when used in
conjunction with Blue Steel. You should
have been christened Derek. Supermodel.
Maybe you’re born with it.
Cancer
You’re climbing the
walls with frustration
at the mo, but we’re
sure Thursday night at
Time will sort that out.
Bring on the pink satin PJs and the orange
swimming cap. Worn with boxer boots,
you’ll only be getting the right kind of
attention.
Taurus
Whatever else you do
this week, make sure
you don’t catch the ‘flu.
It’s not big and it’s very
definitely not clever.
Kitekat may be cheap but it’s not really a
healthy option. Stop kissing inappropriate
people - or else come November I’ll be
saying “Don’t say I didn’t warn you!”
Leo
Yellow is your colour
and it’s too cool for
school right now.
Matched with cerulean
blue, it’s stunning but
hey – you’re always stylin’. Wrap up nice
and warm and drink lots of milk. Dye it
orange a la Samantha. Strut your stuff out
on Saturday – it’ll be your lucky night.
Gemini
Angel dust. Spangles
and sparkles are your
thang this week – it’s
all about the glitterbabe
look. After several
minor setbacks, you’re back and Ready
To Go on Tuesday. Cut your hair into a
bob and dye it black with red stripes. Even
if you’re male - it’s going to be the next
fashion fad, honest!
Virgo
Moustaches are in – but
only for the female of
the species. Fire eating
is hot; ice cream is not.
Wear your socks inside
out and your wonderpants on your head.
Woooo. Fetish Night is coming - only a few
weeks to go - so get thinking about finding
the best costume now, before the rush hits
the Guildford shops.
- Personals It’s very simple, really. All you need to do is wait for your friends (or yourself) to do something silly, amusing or just downright strange, and then find
yourself a computer or indeed a scrap of paper if technology isn’t your thing). barefacts@ussu.co.uk is the email address, ‘Personals’ is the email subject,
and then all you need to do is sit back and wait for the next issue of barefacts, and the look of horror on your friends’ faces...
lewis cheeseman, lick my nether-region, makes
me go tingley, turn me on, turn me on
To the w*nker who nicked my wallet in LTM on
Monday: Cheers.
needs to experience it!!
Hey princess, I was talking about him being
a Noble gentleman...... don’t know what you
thought I meant?????
I haven’t said anything dumb this week!
- Crawl between Becky’s legs and plug it in!
- Why, has she got a generator down there or
something?
That was like totally wicked cool!
Meow, pussycat. Purrrrrrr.
Paintbrush: with hair like that, I’m surprised you
know anything about hairdriers.
Another party next Saturday?...
The civ eng boys are so confused,
Its starting to leave them bemused,
who is writing these amazing riddles,
That make their bodies tingle and tickle,
Enough clues have been given away,
So its time for me to bid good day,
To Longdog, Ed, little jeff and the not forgotten
Stu,
Nick, smelly Andy and Boom Boom too.
I may have vomited at least twice but at least I
didn’t snog the yetti!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whats the word of the week?????
Because Dude! You just can’t hide a 6 foot
bong!!!,
Err, you know Sean’s little schizophrenic
problem?”
“You can tell Chris has been down here.”“How?”
“All the lights are off.”
i LOVE the big fat cucumber, i think someone
The call me Big Jon because of the size of my
feet. Honest.
“dont waste water, think of all the trees!”
I love you lots and lots Simon. Love from your
little LJ XXXXXX
bad luck Bok they tried hard But GO
ENGLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“let’s get hugging baby!”
You made me ill...
Keep ‘em coming, boys and girls, I’m still not
gonna tell you.
I want to have some of your chilli, but what do I
do?
wicked cold mate, thanks for sharing!!!!
“Horary for tit w*nks,
Who the f**k used the bucket for mopping the
floor!,
Argh!!! Chemcaaaaaad!!!
Even if you did have a disturbing dream about a
less than attractive girl, i still love you! xx
“Franz... ooh, sorry, i wrote Trans by mistake!”“I
would be a dead man!”
Gaybar, gaybar, gaybar.
mine, mine, mine, mine, mine
I think it’s locked!!!!
JMB, You are a a Huge God! U make my fantasties
Complete!! Px
I have the keys of power! Fear me!!!
Ben, I love you soooo much. Love from S xx
Stop Fees Now. 26 Oct 03. Be there.
Pete - when you write an email the ‘subject bit’
isn’t the same as the ‘address’ bii!
What a wicked night!
It’s like waiting for the Titanic to sink
You alright, gorgeous?
But what if you were really a mong?
How on earth did we end up in The Drink?
I found nemo!!! Thats a nice name...
I wanna go back to Seaview – our own kitchen?
Luxury!!
Chris: “Be careful, Neil, we’ve already done the
gay thing!”
23
SPORT
23 October 2003
UniSport Injury of the Week: Shin Splints
Over the last few weeks at the Optimum
Fitness Sports Injury Clinic we have seen
a re-occurring problem with ‘shin splints’.
This is greatly due to hard ground, as we
have had such a good summer and very
little rain. There is a very mixed view to
what shin splints actually are and how to
treat them, so please read the following for a
survival guide…
The correct term is; Medial tibia stress
syndrome (periostitis of the medial margin
of the tibia ‘shin splints’).
Periostitis is a common complaint in
athletes/sports people who often change
surfaces and types of shoes, alter techniques,
or subject themselves to intensive training
on hard surfaces i.e.; rough hard ground,
wooden flooring (without the spring), astro
–turf etc… Periostitis can be triggered by
running and other sports with elements of
jumping, the main cause of the pain being
repeated take-offs from a hard surface.
Runners who run tip-toe, run with their feet
turned outwards, or use spiked shoes can
suffer from these complaints. Also ladies
Women’s Football Triumph
BY NATALIE BARETTE
After much hard work and preparation,
UNIS women’s football team finally took
the field on Wednesday to demonstrate to
all our immense ability, talent, and desire
to win. This was blatantly proven with a
convincing 5-1 victory over Southampton
Institute.
Although only a ‘friendly’ match, the team
went out with tenacity and determination
to ‘kick ass’ (quite literally)!! Under the
great captaincy and leadership of Heather
Ford and Stephanie Millington, the team
were able to fight back from an early
goal putting us 1-0 down, and showed no
signs of looking back. With some quite
majestical moves, the Surrey team played
freely creating many chances, and it wasn’t
before long that the goals started pouring
in. Goals came from Christine, Sarah and
Jen, Christine finishing off two moves with
deadly finishes, Sarah scoring twice, with
a screamer from 30 yards and Jen slotting
home after an amazing run from our own
half. A combination of crunching tackles
and crisp through balls will make opponents
find this team hard to break down, especially
with the precision of Steff at the back, able
to clear every ball and not COMPLETELY
miss any!! (Nice one Steff!). It was an
impressive performance by all the team and
I’m sure a joy to watch. Player of the match
was Sarah who dominated midfield.
Southampton were very lucky that this
was our first match together and so not
all chances were converted. The potential
is certainly there and it is fair to say that
women’s footy is on the up. This is our year
so to all opposition, including Women’s
hockey and anyone else who dares challenge
us “Bring it”, but only if you can handle
getting beat. BUSA awaits and we have
much to show, still not at full strength with
star players out injured, I warn challengers
now that if you aren’t scared yet, you’ll be
shitting yourself when we get going!
Remember this line because it certainly
won’t be the last time you hear it this year…
‘WE ONLY BLOODY WON!”
BUSA Results | 15 October 2003
Mens
Rugby Union
SURREY 1st vs London SB 1st
5-27
5-0
2-1
Badminton
Reading 1st vs SURREY 1st
SURREY 2nd vs Kingston 2nd
8-0
8-1
Squash
SURREY 1st vs Kings 1st
SURREY 2nd vs Brunel 1st
Basketball
Kent 1st vs SURREY 1st
91-62
Womens
123-
Badminton
SURREY 1st vs LSE 1st
Fencing
SURREY 1st vs City
134
Football
Sussex 1st vs SURREY 1st
SURREY 2nd vs SURREY 3rd
Chichester 3rd vs SURREY 4th
Brighton 5th vs SURREY 5th
Hockey
Roehampton 1st vs SURREY 1st
Basketball
Portsmouth 1st vs SURREY 1st
1-0
4-1
7-0
4-0
3-4
Hockey
SURREY 1st vs Brighton 1st
Netball
SURREY 1st vs Kingston 1st
5-4
35-33
1-4
26-27
Squash
Royal Holloway 1st vs SURREY 1st 3-2
(and possibly some men???) who wear highheeled shoes can also suffer.
Symptoms of shin splints
Tenderness over medial (inside) of tibia
(shin bone)
Swelling can be felt and seen
The pain ceases at rest but returns
when participating in exercisePain is
triggered when toes or ankle joint are bent
downwards
Pain can also occur to the ‘tibalis anterior’
muscle on the outside of the shin
Treatment
Pain is a warning, which should signal
rest. The sooner training is given up (Rest),
the more rapidly the injury will heal. A
chronic condition can then be avoided.
Ice the area in which the pain is.
Deep tissue massage to loosen-up calf
muscles (where the problem usually starts
from)
Massage to breakdown scar tissue to ‘tibial
sheath’ inside of shin, uncomfortable but
definitely worth it!!!
Once the condition has settled down begin
low impact exercise i.e. gym – exercise
bike, cross trainer, weights.
Preventative measures
Sports people who play rugby, football,
hockey, netball etc… really should have
a ‘sports massage’ regularly to loosen
tight muscles, improve elasticity in tissues,
increase flexibility, break down old scar
tissue, improve circulation and drain
lymphatic system.
This will improve
performance and recovery from sport.
A thorough warm-up and stretch before
the games/exercise commence. Appropriate
shoes/foot wear is essential. If you do play
on astro-turf then its wise to look into ‘shock
absorbers’, which take the impact out of the
exercise.
Optimum fitness
Sports Injury Clinic
Monday – Saturday
50% discount to students
25% discount to staff
For more information
call:
Tel 01483 452028
Or pop into the clinic
first floor UniSport
BUSA Fixtures | 29 October 2003
Mens
Womens
Badminton
Portsmouth 1st vs SURREY 1st
UCL 2nd vs SURREY 2nd
Basketball
Chichester 1st vs SURREY 1st
Basketball
SURREY 1st vs Kings 1st
Netball
SURREY 1st vs Kings 1st
LSE 2nd vs SURREY 2nd
Football
Imperial 1st vs SURREY 1st
SURREY 2nd vs Portsmouth 4th
SURREY 3rd vs Brighton 4th
Brighton 5th vs SURREY 4th
SURREY 5th vs Portsmouth 5th
Football
SURREY 1st vs Imperial 1st
Hockey
SURREY 1st vs Portsmouth 1st
Golf
Buckinghamshire 1st vs SURREY 1st
Rugby Union
SURREY 1st vs Reading 1st
Hockey
SURREY 1st vs Imperial Medics 1st
Squash
Imperial 1st vs SURREY 1st
Squash
SURREY 1st vs Imperial 1st
SURREY 2nd vs Royal Holloway 2nd
for more fixtures and results visit:
busaresults.org.uk
24
SPORT
23 October 2003
teamsurrey
Challenge Chops – American Football
Dave ‘Chops’ Chapman takes his life in his hands and heads out onto the American Football pitch
Like the majority of people taking part in American
Football, I had never played before. This wasn’t the reason I
was worried about this challenge, it was the other guys who
joined me at the Varsity Centre on a Sunday morning for a
talk on tactics. With a couple of notable exceptions, they
were all quite a bit bigger than me. The fact that I was going
to be wearing a helmet and shoulder pads was reassuring but
did not put me at ease. I’ve often heard people say “surely
you can’t feel it, its like rugby but with pads.” I’ll set the
record straight, despite the protection, you can definitely still
feel it.
Following the “lecture,” we all went out onto the ATP for a
warm up and some stretching. Involving just a short run, the
warm up was fairly basic. The stretching was far from basic.
We did all the usual suspects, a few less common ones and
some I can safely say I’ve never seen before. They really
did their job.
Following this was some fitness testing. Not something I had
been expecting but something, which they will be repeating
3 more times in the year in order to monitor and encourage
improved fitness. This started off with a progressive shuttle
run test, more often known as a bleep test, which you might
remember from school. Essentially you have to run back
and forth between 2 markers placed 20 metres apart with a
series of bleeps dictating how fast you run. Starting off at
little more than a walking pace, the bleeps get faster as each
level is reached. Slowly the numbers of people taking part
decreased. After a while, everyone but 2 others and myself
had dropped out. On the 11th level the 2 others called it quits
and I’m proud to say I managed to last into level 12. The
encouragement and support aimed at all participants at all
fitness levels was impressive.
We were then split into groups for the rest of fitness testing.
My group moved onto “the jingle-jangle” which tests
directional speed. Three markers are set out in a line around
chopsie dressed for battle | photo: pete nichols
10 yards between each one. You start off at the middle
marker at right angles to the line. You then run to one of the
side markers, run to the other side marker and run back to
the centre marker, against the clock. The majority of people
taking part on this test posted around 5 seconds. This was
repeated and the fastest time taken. Although I improved,
Ladies Squash Battle Hard
BY KIRSTIE THOMPSON
We were all a bit nervous as this was our first match as a team and for some members of the
team it was their first competitive match ever!
After a little detour around the suburbs of West London we finally arrived and met our
opposition. The team from Royal Holloway were very friendly and welcoming. Pippa
played first - a good game but unfortunately she lost to the Royal Holloway girl. Meanwhile
Magda won her match on the other court. This was quite an achievement for her as she has
only been playing for 3 weeks and her opponent has been playing for 3 years! Vicky played
a good match against a girl called Danny but unfortunately she was beaten. Our number 1
seed, Shea-Maine was next on court against their number 1 player. Shea-Maine’s opponent
was very strong and Maine (battling through her illness) was unable to beat her.
The final match was extremely close and was by far the longest match. Amanda managed to
beat the Royal Holloway girls 10-9 in the third game after getting 1 game each. Well done to
the whole team! Although the end result was 3-2 to Royal Holloway, I thought that everyone
did really well considering this was our first match.
The Sports Show on GU2
Thursdays 4-5 | With TUG & TIM
Campus phone: 811350
Ex: 01483 681350
Email / MSN: studio@gu2.co.uk
I got one of the slower times. This was followed by a 40yard sprint. Again this was repeated and the best time taken.
Again I improved on my time but was slower than quite a
few of the others.
To finish off, was a bench press. With little doubt this was
going to be my weakest event. I’m a very light build and
have never done a bench press before. Taking my turn, I
knew that a couple of the smaller guys in the group had
managed 3 repetitions. When I first took the strain of the
bar, I had doubts if I was going to be able to lift it once.
It was very heavy. I managed 2 repetitions. Not too bad
considering that at 70kg, I was lifting nearly 120% of my
body weight. Some of the larger guys however managed
over 20 repetitions and I think one guy got over 30.
Next up was the rough stuff. The fact I’m carrying an old
shoulder injury meant I wasn’t looking forward to this. But
with a helmet and a big set of shoulder pads, I thought I
would give it a go. We paired up and practised the correct
action from about half a metre away. The group was then
split into two and we practiced at a 1⁄4 speed. Then the pace
was upped to full speed. My first full speed “hit” was with
one of the coaches, Franz. I went flying and it hurt a lot.
Infact I think its fair to say that it hurt more than any of
the other hits that afternoon, despite the fact that a number
of them were with guys a fair bit larger than the coach.
Despite getting dominated in the tackling, the coaches said
I should come back and that I could do well. Perhaps there
is a position which involves lots of running and not much
tackling, because I wouldn’t have a hope of stopping a lot of
the guys out there.
Although I walked away from it all with my shoulder still
intact, I wasn’t unscathed. I ended up with a painful ankle
(although I was only wearing trainers), two painful hips
and two painful jaws. As I said at the start of this report,
despite the pads, you still definitely feel it.
SPORTS PROFILE
SPECIAL
Name: Alec Stewart
Nicknames: Stewie, Emperor Ming (from
my Surrey team mates)
Sport: Cricket (former England captain,
most capped English player)
Test Debut: Eng v Win at Kingston, 1st
Test, 1989-1990
ODI Debut: Eng v Sri at Delhi, Nehru
Cup, 1989-1990
Hobbies and Interests: Chelsea Football
Club, spending time with my family
Most memorable sporting moment:
Scoring hundreds in both innings of a test
match in the West Indies. Winning the test
series against South Africa as captain.
Most embarrassing Sporting Moment:
Being mistaken for my dad
The Plug: My new autobiography is out
now in all good book shops. Listen to the
sports show on 1350 AM GU2 Thursday
from 1pm to hear a full interview with
Alec Stewart.