Page 7 - SWIFT Magazine

Weather Beat
--Dana Telsey, formerly of Bear Stearns, and Hugh Gloss, formerly of
Merrill Lynch, presents hard-hitting analysis on the Weather Channel
Telsey: I’ve predicted sun every day and this is the third day in a row we’ve had sun. In
fact, every day has been sunnier than the last. Clearly we should expect an even sunnier day
tomorrow.
Gloss: I think you’re overlooking our reports from the field, Dana. I was walking by the
lake today when I felt a sudden breeze; not five minutes later, I heard a sound in the
distance that sounded sort of like thunder.
Telsey: Deer frolicking up 6%, picnic planning up 5%, Alan Greenspan spotted wearing a
spotted bikini – my technical analyst says all these factors indicate a sunshine.
Gloss: Clearly, the numbers fail to take into account deeper problems and trying to restore
confidence in a sky that is actually on the brink of disaster. Heavy storms are on the way.
Telsey: I think someone wishes he had purchased swim trunks and SPF30 on Monday.
Gloss: Let me fill you in on a little inside tip. I was in Japan exactly one month ago and
saw a butterfly flap its wings. A hurricane is coming on Thursday.
SWIFT I.3
7